#but Renee is laughing and kisses Andrews cheek and its okay

[jean-meowreau]

i wanna write some RenAndrew fooling around and it's how Andrew realises he really is gay and not just bi or straight and in denial. and I want Renee to just comfort him after and tell him he gives good head regardless and it makes him laugh so hard he starts crying.

[pipedream-parrish]

Happy 34th birthday, Twinyards

read on AO3

i

It is Aaron’s 14th birthday and he has just found out that he has a brother - a twin brother, an identical twin brother, who looks exactly like him and might just understand him, too. His mom didn’t do anything for his birthday - she hasn’t since he was little, or maybe those long-forgotten memories were really just dreams that have managed to worm their way so deep into his psyche that he’s accepted them as truth. The kids at school sang to him, which was fine, but Aaron can’t help but think maybe now it will be different. Maybe once he meets this brother of his, then they can celebrate their birthdays together. Maybe they can give each other presents, and eat cake, and blow out the candles using the combined forces of their breath. Maybe, maybe, maybe. 

(Andrew spends this birthday choking down cake that Cas got him, trying to hide the fresh marks on his arm, and thinking about the best way to keep his mysterious brother as far away from him as possible)

((one month later, Aaron receives a letter in the mail. He couldn’t tell you everything it said - he just knows that all of these maybes have just been thrown into the middle of a busy highway to be crushed under uncaring tires.))

ii

Its Aaron’s 15th birthday and his mother has celebrated by beating the shit out of him and then throwing a random assortment of pills from the bottom of her purse in his direction as an apology, and Aaron cannot help but think that maybe it won’t have to be like this anymore. He thinks about what Andrew said (Andrew, who really does look just like him, and who seemed so angry about Tilda, and seemed to believe that Aaron didn’t deserve, that he deserved good things--) had said to him, thinks about how maybe when Andrew moves his mom will stop it, maybe it’ll be alright, maybe nothing will hurt anymore and everything will be okay and he’ll have a brother. It’ll be the two of them against the world, and Aaron may not know this other boy all that well, but he promised to protect him, so that must mean something, right? Even if before that he said he didn’t want anything to do with Aaron, he changed his mind, and thats what matters, right? Right? And so when Aaron blows out the birthday candles that he bought for himself at eh convenience store the night before, he wishes for his brother to come home soon, and for them to be a family like they were supposed to be. Like he deserves.

((Six months later, Tilda is dead and Aaron has stopped believing in family.))

iii

It is Andrews’s 16th birthday and he has not spoken more than two words to his brother for most of the year, but Nicky tries to force them to do something, to celebrate, to be normal teenagers for once. Andrew leaves halfway through the elaborate dinner that Nicky has prepared, and pretends not to see the sad look he aims at his retreating back. Pretends that he doesn’t care what Nicky thinks of him, what Aarons thinks of him. Pretends that he stopped caring about Cass, that actually he didn’t care about that, either. Pretends and pretends and pretends, and convinces everyone but himself. 

((He’s not so great at lying to himself yet. He’ll get better with age.)) 

Late that night, after he’s heard everyone else going to bed, he sneaks downstairs and steals a slice of the double-chocolate cake that Nicky got them. There are already a couple of slices out from where Nicky and Aaron had some, so hopefully, this moment of weakness will go unnoticed. 

(Aaron spends his 16th birthday sad and mourning, refusing to look his brother in the eye. When he blows out the birthday candles with no help from a magical brother, he wishes that he never met Andrew in the first place. Not that he believes in magic or wishes or anything good at all, anymore. He barely has a bite of his cake before leaving the table. He, too, pretends not to see Nicky’s teary eyes as he leaves him standing alone in the kitchen, the remnants of a wasted attempt at love scattered all around him)

((he, too, is not so great at lying to himself yet. He, too, will get better with age))

(Nevertheless, when he hears Andrew come downstairs in the dead of night, he creeps into the hallway to watch his petty theft)

((He never mentions it.))

iv

It is Andrew’s 17th birthday and he is so high off the ground that he never even realizes the date.

Or maybe he does and just forgets.

The meds are still new, and he’s not used to them yet. Not used to the loudness, and brightness, and plastered on a smile. His cheeks hurt all the time now - he is constantly working muscles that have not had much use, the last couple of years 

(the last couple of lifetimes)

Needless to say, it is Andrew’s 17th birthday and he does not even realize it, and instead, he spends it in his room, his precious room that has a lock that works, coming apart at all his frying edges. Boys like him were never meant to grow old. Boys like him were never meant to last. And so he lays there and shakes uncontrollably, and laughs, too, tells himself this is fine, he’s fine it’s all fine and knows better than to believes it. Perhaps it is a mercy, that he eventually gets used to the meds. 

Perhaps it is not.

(Aaron doesn’t celebrate his birthday, either. Instead, he picks up extra shifts at Edens and goes to bed early. 

He cannot wait to leave this fucking house)

v

It is Aaron’s 18th birthday, meaning that he is a legal adult. He finds this funny. He has always been an adult; he was an adult when he was four and creeping across the house on silent feet to steal crackers from the pantry because mom forgot to feed him; he was an adult when he was 10 and forging his mothers signature on school papers, and making excuses for why she couldn’t come into parent-teacher conference night; he was an adult when he was sitting across from his reflection in a juvenile detention facility, and promised protection. One more birthday doesn’t mean shit.

(Andrew agrees. He, too, has been an adult for as long as he can remember.)

((Still, when Nicky slips cards under each of their doors wishing them a happy birthday and telling them he’s proud of them, and that he hopes that adulthood treats them right, well. If Aaron squeezes his eyes shut as hard as he can to prevent the tears from escaping, and if Andrew tares it up into a million pieces because it almost makes him feel something, then no one needs to know))

vi

It is November 4th, and the newly-coined monsters are in Columbia, just like they are most weekends. They make the same stops as always, go to the same club, the same restaurant. 

Never once is the word birthday mentioned.

vii

It is Andrew’s 20th birthday and he is about to make one of the worst mistakes of his life. For now, he sits against the windowsill, watching his smoke dissipate into the afternoon air, absently listening to the sounds of Nicky and Aaron’s video game wash over him. He’s grinning, as is usually is these days, and if he was capable of having a long-lasting coherent thought, he would want to carve that grin off his face.

Alas, he is not capable of long-lasting coherent thought. Oh well. Perhaps it’s for the best.

Renee got him a gift. Silly Renee. Always so nice, so kind, even to monsters like him. Hasn’t she learned better than that by now? It seems not.

When Nicky receives a phone call that leaves him in a panic, it is almost enough to garner Andrew’s attention. 

Almost.

When he leaves the room in a rush only to come beach with Neil, the enigma, the hallucination, the rabbit, in tow behind him, Andrew actually does start to pay attention. Only a little though. 

When Neil pulls him aside, and asks for the unimaginable, and then manages to make it seem like a good idea, well. Andrew’s interest has been peaked, and he agrees. Why not? It might be fun. Might be, might be, might be.

(It’s not. It’s not fun at all, and if nothing else then Andrew is finally allowed to leave that smile behind for good. Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear Andrew, happy birthday to me!)

((Aaron spends his birthday playing video games and wondering why the new kid holds such sway over his brother. When he looks back on that day, he will not remember any of that. He will only remember that that was the day everything went wrong, and he was unable to fix it.))

viii

It is Andrew’s 21st birthday, and it might just be a good one. No alarm wakes him up in the morning, even though he’s sure he set it last night, meaning he gets to sleep in. When he wakes up it’s to Neil bustling about the dorm room, clearly searching for something.

“Practice?” Andrew asks and is told in no uncertain terms that they will be blowing it off for the day. Yes, today is shaping up to be a good one.

Instead, they go out driving, blazing down empty roads as fast as the mas will take them, eating up millage and gas money and caring at all. Neil rolls down the window and lets out victorious whoops into the still afternoon, the wind flushing his cheeks and tousling his hair. Andrew almost thinks something disgustingly sappy about that but is able to rain in his own brain just in time. 

They got greasy diner food for lunch, and Andrew orders a massive ice cream Sunday that Neil doesn’t comment on. They go back to Fox Tower and lounge around their dorm, kissing and smoking and playing video games. They have pancakes for dinner, and Kevin doesn’t bother them once about going to tonight’s practice. Andrew goes to bed full and sated, and almost, almost, happy. It’s a good birthday.

((the next day at therapy, Aaron complains that he didn’t get to skip practice yesterday. Andrew shrugs and says that he should take notes for next year. It’s almost an invitation. Almost, but not quite.))

ix

It is Aarons’s 22nd birthday, and he takes a leaf out of Andrew’s book and skips practice. He and Katelyn drive into town, and walk up and down the streets, popping into stores at random and picking out delightfully ugly things for the other to buy. In one shop, Katelyn shows Aaron a shirt made from a disgusting green fabric with the gaudiest floral pattern he’s ever seen. In another, Aaron finds shimmering, sparkle filled pink and purple shoes with a six-inch heel. They both nearly get sick from laughing. That night, they go out to the fanciest restaurant they can afford and get wine drunk. Aaron tells Katelyn that he loves her, which is something that he’s told her a million times before, but that doesn’t stop it from mattering. This will always matter. She will always matter. He looks at her, just looks at her, and thinks about how lucky he is to have this. And he thinks about Andrew, just for a second, curses him for keeping her from Aaron. But then, for an even shorter second, the thought occurs to him. I hope he’s as happy right now with Neil as I am with her. 

((Andrew may not show it the same way, but he is. He is.))

x

It is their 25 birthday now (which it longer than either of them thought they would live), and after years of therapy and working through their issues, Aaron has decided once again that he wants a brother. And so he books a flight to Boston, and buys a ticket to Andrews game, and watches his brother play exy on their birthday. Their birthday. Sometimes he still forgets that they are a “they” now. He'll still say my birthday, my mom, my cousin, my family. But it's not just his, and so he meets Andrew at the player’s exit after the game and forces him to go to dinner with him. And they spend their birthday together, just the two of them, for the first time since they were born. And its-

Well, it’s not bad. It's kind of nice, actually. Stilted, at first, and undoubtedly awkward, but. 

But they’re still brothers, even after everything. They share family and history and most of their DNA, so it seems right that they also share a dinner. And they talk, about Andrew’s pro team and Aarons residency, and about halfway through Aaron realizes that even though he was the one who forced this, Andrew isn’t trying to stop it. He came with him to dinner, and he’s talked more in the last hour then Aaron thinks he ever has before, and Aaron realizes that he wants this too. Andrew wants a brother too. They part ways outside - Andrew doesn’t offer to drive him back to his hotel or to let him stay at his apartment, but that’s ok.

Because Andrew wants this too. 

Andrew wants this too.

epilogue 

It is the Minyard twins’ 34th birthday, and as has become a tradition they are each awoken by a phone call from Nicky. Aaron only grumbles for a moment before Katelyn is handing his phone to him and he’s picking up. Andrew takes longer, turning over and burying his face in Neil’s neck for a second or a minute or a year, before finally grabbing his phone. To be fair, it’s about 2 hours earlier for him than for his brother. When he was younger he would hang up, and Nicky would call back, and he’d hang up again, until around the third call when he would finally give in and answer and phone. He doesn’t hang up anymore. He supposes that he’s grown. It’s a facetime call, so he’s greeted with Nicky’s over-enthusiastic smile and Aarons bedhead that looks so much like his own. He props himself up on some pillows so that he’s nearly in a sitting position, and gives a halfhearted wave. Beside him, Neil stays lying down, curling himself into Andrew’s side. Andrew absently starts carding his fingers through his hair. Nicky starts to talk, telling them about the business, and the adoption process, and the cute thing that his and Erik’s dog did. King jumps up onto Andrew’s chest, and then there’s a lot of cooing over how cute she is. She starts to lick at Andrew’s temple, which makes everyone laugh and Andrew rolls his eyes. It’s ok. He doesn’t really mind. Aaron talks about the hospital, and then his toddler (who is really more of a kid now, she’s getting so big holy shit) bursts into the room, climbing up onto the bed. She says hi to her Uncle Andy (Neil taught her to say that when she was a baby, and it tuck. Again, Andrew doesn’t really mind) and Uncle Neil, and her cousins Nicky and Erik. they talk more, Andrew waking up and partaking in the conversion, occasionally mouthing things to Neil in Russian to make him laugh. He loves it when Neil laughs (he’s not so concerned with not thinking sappy things anymore).

It’s a good start to a good day. They order take out and eat it on the floor, just like they do every year. Neil gets him a cake, and he sings happy birthday, just like they do every year. 

A plane ride away, Aaron and Katelyn hire a babysitter and go out to dinner, just like they do every year. Katelyn gets him a loudly collared tie, just like she does every year.

It’s a good day for both boys (who are now much closer to men), but more than that, it is a good day for both brothers. For that is undoubtedly what they are now. Brothers. 

That night, they both get a text from Betsy. It says Happy birthday, my lovely boys. I hope this year treats you well. 

And then it does.

It does.

thanks for reading! if you reblog i’ll love you forever :)

[senstia]

Hii!! I love your page!! Do you do headcanons? If so: drunk neil w the foxes and andrew?? Again i love your page!❤️❤️

Hi!! Thank you so much! People don’t ask for them often but i’m always happy to do them!!

-Pls excuse my terrible grammar, punctuation and writing in general loll im very bad

-but anyway i love drunk neil hes the cutest boy ever and neil will always have my whole heart (and Andrews)

Here you go!!

The foxes decided to play 21 questions. It was Allison and Nicky’s idea. Neil attempted to opt out but they would have none of that. Neil wasn’t one to drink and since Nicky and Allison’s version of 21 questions involved a lot of shots he wasn’t exactly sure how he felt about it. Losing control wasn’t something Neil was used to but all the foxes looked so happy and he knew Andrew would make sure he was safe so in the end he decided he’d play.

“Andrew your turn!” Nicky yelled enthusiastically. He may have pre-gamed the game a little bit.

“Not playing,” Andrew said. Neil was sitting on the floor below him looking nervously excited and already slightly flushed from the alcohol making its way through his system. Andrew wondered what kind of a drunk Neil was. Hopefully he wasn’t an angry drunk.

“Fine, fine i’ll go again. Ummmm lets see oooh oh i got one! Never have I ever kissed a girl before!”

Allison, Renee, Aaron, Matt and Kevin all downed their shots immediately. Neil frowned down at his drink but slowly tipped it back and swallowed.

“Wait pause, Neil you’ve kissed a girl before?” Matt asked. Andrew tried to hide the curiosity from his face as he looked down at Neil.

“A couple,” Neil mumbled, embarrassed.

“A couple?? Neil is a player! I’m offended you never told us! Must not have been that great since you decided to swing the other way huh?” Nicky blabbered.

Neil flushed bright red. “I already said I didn’t swing and I don’t. Those girls were nothing. Andrew is different.” Neil said. He knew the alcohol was making his tongue looser but there was no way for him to control it at this point.

“Different how?” Allison said, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at Neil.

“Don’t answer that,” Andrew snapped at Neil.

“Well, i’m still offended. I thought I was your first kiss!” Nicky shouted. Apparently alcohol made Nicky louder than normal.

“Your first- what? You’ve kissed Neil?” Dan asked incredulously.

“Yeah well...” Nicky paused and looked up at Andrew. Andrew was leaned over closer to him and giving him a death glare.

“Go on Nicky,” Andrew said.

“Please don’t kill me,” Nicky squeaked out.

Andrew pulled a knife out of his armband and started twirling it in his hand. “Explain.”

Allison was continuously feeding Neil shots as they watched this confrontation.

“Well you see, we may or may not have kissed a few times the first time we took him to Columbia,” Nicky said, looking terrified.

“I thought I told you to keep your hands off him?” Andrew said, cocking his head.

“You told me to give him the cracker dust so I did!”

“I didn’t realize that included kissing,” Andrew said.

“Okay yeah so I may have taken advantage of the situation a little bit. But I mean come on can you blame me? Neil is beautiful, like male model beautiful. I just couldn’t help myself! And besides you weren’t even into him back then!”

Aaron wrinkled his nose in disgust at the words. Neil looked perplexed by the whole situation. Andrew looked murderous.

Andrew stared at him in silence with death in his eyes. He wanted to deny what Nicky had said but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t attracted to Neil back then, even with the hair and contacts.

“Oh. Oh. You were into him back then? I-I mean um well I thought you hated him when you two met?”

“I did.”

Nicky looked extremely confused and Andrew wanted to stab him so bad his hands were shaking.

“It’s called sexual attraction Nicky. Leave him be,” Renee said softly but not quietly.

Andrew glared at Renee but stayed silent.

“Right um I-I apologize. Please don’t kill me. Please.” Nicky said weakly.

“If you ever get anywhere near him again or compliment him like that again I will stab you in your sleep.”

Nicky squeaked and recoiled from Andrew but nodded his head vigorously.

Neil was just looking up at Andrew in wonder and awe. Andrew glanced down at him and raised his brows but Neil just kept staring. Andrew just rolled his eyes and looked away.

“Okay next round, Kevin’s turn!” Allison said.

The next few rounds went by with little to no drama and Neil knew he was completely trashed. Every thought he usually kept in his head was managing to make its way out of his mouth and he had no way to stop it. Andrew was always beautiful and Neil always loved him but it was like the alcohol was making every feeling he had for Andrew increase tenfold and he was having a really hard time trying to keep those feelings to himself.

Neil contented himself with staring at Andrew in awe. Sometimes he couldn’t believe how perfect his boyfriend was.

“Look at how he’s looking at him!” Allison loudly whispered to Renee happily.

Everyone in the room heard that and they all moved their attention to Neil. Neil was sipping a mixed drink and staring at Andrew like he put the stars in the sky. Andrew was trying as hard as he could to ignore this and was staring intently at the wall.

“Neil what are you looking at?” Allison said. She was an instigator at heart and loved seeing Neil fawn over Andrew. Neil looked over at the rest of the group like he hadn’t realized any other humans existed besides Andrew.

Neil sighed, “My boyfriend,” he said dreamily.

Nicky squealed and the only person who wasn’t grinning widely at Neil was Aaron. Even Kevin looked mildly amused. Andrew just looked down at Neil with a blank face.

“Why are you staring at Andrew Neil?” Nicky asked already getting excited by what his response might be.

“Because I love him,” Neil said with a huge smile on his face. Everyone was squealing and smiling at this and Aaron looked at Neil with something like disbelief on his face.

Andrew fought tooth and nail to keep his expression unreadable but he felt like his insides were being stuffed with sunshine.

“Stop that,” Andrew said and flicked Neil’s nose.

Matt frowned at this. He knew Neil knew what he was doing and he was sure Andrew was different when they were alone but he did think Neil deserved someone who could be a little more affectionate.

Neil noticed Matt’s frown and stage whispered, “Don’t worry Andrew says he loves me all the time, he just doesn’t show anyone else his soft side.”

Everyone started cracking up laughing at this. Neil peeked up at Andrew hoping he didn’t anger him. His mouth was getting really hard to control at this point.

“Sorry,” Neil whispered to Andrew.

Neil was looking at Andrew with the biggest puppy eyes and Andrew knew he was so screwed. Andrew thought to hell with it and brought his hand to Neil’s cheekbone. Neil nodded happily at Andrew and Andrew began stroking his cheek. He leaned in and softly brushed his lips against Neil’s. Neil let out a contented sigh and melted into the kiss. After a moment Andrew pulled back to look at Neil.

Neil pouted, “More,” he whined.

Andrew rolled his eyes. “You’re drunk.”

“Drew I want, I want...” Neil said helplessly.

“What?”

Neil leaned close to Andrew’s neck and paused. Andrew muttered a soft yes and Neil brushed his lips against Andrew’s neck. “All of you,” Neil whispered.

Andrew stood abruptly and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge.

“Drewww,” Neil whined loudly.

“Oh my god, oh my god. He has a nickname for him! I’m gonna die it’s so cute,” Nicky said excitedly nudging Kevin over and over to get him to watch Neil and Andrew. Matt, Dan, and Allison were all squealing in excitement at the spectacle and Renee was smiling quietly.

“Drink,” Andrew said and shoved the water bottle into Neil’s hand.

“Does this mean we can have sex?” Neil said excitedly. Aaron choked on his drink and cringed at this.

Andrew lightly smacked Neil on the side of his head. “Shut it. Drink your water.”

“Drewww.”

Andrew glared at him, “What?”

Neil scooted up closer to Andrew’s seat and whispered loud enough for everyone to hear, “You’re really really beautiful.”

“If you’re trying to seduce me it’s not working,” Andrew said.

Neil cocked his head to the side dramatically. “Last time I said that you let me-“ Andrew put his hand over Neil’s mouth and Neil kept speaking beneath it.

“Finish that sentence and you’re sleeping on the floor.”

Andrew took his hand off Neil’s mouth thinking Neil was done but Neil finished his sentence aloud.

“-under five minutes, so I thought it worked,” Neil finished.

Nicky opened his mouth to say something and Andrew glared at him. “Say one word and you’re dead.”

Everyone was attempting to keep their laughs under control as Neil talked to Andrew.

Andrew got up again and Neil whined in protest. “Calm down i’m just getting you more water,” Andrew said as he stalked off.

Andrew came back and handed Neil another water bottle.

“Drewwww,” Neil said. Andrew just stared at him with raised brows.

“I love you. You’re the best person in the wholeeee wide world. And you’re also really really pretty. And your arms are super muscular. And you have beautiful eyes. And your hair is super soft. And I love that tiny freckle you have on your a-“ Andrew smacked his hand over Neil’s mouth again.

Andrew picked Neil up bridal style and growled, “We’re leaving.”

As Andrew walked out of the apartment with Neil in his arms Neil looked over his shoulder and waved happily at the foxes.

All the foxes just laughed at Neil and waved back at him.

Andrew plopped Neil down on their bed and stared down at him. Neil couldn’t remember anything he had just said but he had a hunch he had said some things he shouldn’t have.

“I’m sorry,” Neil said softly, wishing he was sober right now for about a hundred different reasons. The water had made it into his system enough that he was more aware of everything around him but he still felt off.

“Shut up. Yes or no?”

“Yes. Always yes,” Neil said breathlessly.

Andrew just sat down next to Neil on the bed and kissed him once softly on the lips. Neil sighed.

“Are you mad at me?” Neil asked.

“No. I love you.”

“Hug. Yes or no?” Neil asked.

Andrew just nodded and Neil wrapped him in a tight embrace. They stayed wrapped in each others arms for long minutes and right before Neil pulled back he whispered, “I love you too,” against Andrew’s neck.

Andrew got his answer. Neil was a sappy drunk.

[abraxos-is-toothless]

I have a fic request, pretty please! Andreil (ofc!) Anyway Neil not answering his phone (cuz it died, again, oops) and Andrew losing his shit and hunting him down!

Okay it’s 2am and this is finally, finally being posted. It should have gone up like a week ago but Tumblr wouldn’t let me answer asks at the time. I’ve changed this around so many times and I don’t know if this is what you were hoping for but I tried my best! I tweaked it a little too, so sorry.

Full Masterlist.

—————

This is Josten, I don’t want to talk to you so don’t leave a message.

This is Josten, I don’t want to talk to you so don’t leave a message.

Andrew had now called Neil’s phone about twenty fucking times and he still hadn’t answered; he always answered when Andrew called him. Everyone was in the lounge at the court since it had been at least four hours since anyone had heard from him. Nicky was almost in tears, Dan and Matt looked like they were two seconds away from calling in a search party and of course Aaron the asshole looked like he didn’t care that Neil was missing. Abby was tucked underneath Coach’s arm, her face etched with worry and taking comfort from the man. It was about fucking time they got their shit together. The man in question cleared his throat just when Andrew was about to leave and search the campus himself. “Minyard sit the fuck down, we will find him we just have to piece some things together first.”

All he did was sneer at the command but stayed nonetheless. He was itching to pull out his knives and bury them in something but Renee gave him a look as if she knew exactly what he was thinking and she shook her head at him. Nicky really was crying now and Andrew had to force himself not to roll his eyes. Yes they all cared about Neil, they were all his family, but with the reactions they were giving it was like they expected the worst. Andrew could not think like that, wouldn’t think like that because even though he hated when the idiot said it, he had to believe that Neil was fine.

“Who was the last person to see him?” Allison spoke up from the other side of the room, and so now it looked like she was getting worried. When they’d first gathered here it had only been an hour and she figured he’d turn up in the next few minutes. Oh how wrong she was. Matt forced out an answer, his leg bouncing non-stop, just like it had been after the riot two years ago and Neil had been taken to Baltimore.

“Uh I did. We walked to our first class together after morning practice.” Well that didn’t really help because the junkie had his Spanish class right after that one and then he usually went on his run after that. No one would have seen him at Fox Tower after that, because no one else was free. Actually that was wrong because-

“He was talking in Japanese. He was talking in fucking Japanese.” Because the coward that was Kevin Day had one of his classes cancelled and he’d told everyone he’d go back to the dorms and figure out a new drill they could do, not that anyone really cared. Before he could do a repeat performance of choking Kevin out, Renee was on him in a flash, restraining him from any movement. When Kevin turned to look at Andrew, he’d gone as white as a sheet, as if he realised what he’d just said and visibly swallowed. Andrew was going to kill him, and then bury his body where nobody would find it. Just as soon as the good Christian girl let go of him.

“What the fuck do you mean he was talking in Japanese, Day?” Andrew’s voice was low and smooth, promising a whole lot of pain if Kevin didn’t respond in the way he was expected to. The spineless coward looked around the room at the foxes, eyes lingering on his father, before turning back to Andrew and wringing his hands in front of him.

“When I got back to the dorms, Neil was already there. I was going to ask him if he wanted to help me come up with new drills and plays when I heard it. He didn’t sound like he normally did, it was like he was someone else and was talking in whispered Japanese like he was worried about someone hearing him.”

The fucking stupid asshole.

He was dealing with Moriyama bullshit and hadn’t even bothered to tell Andrew. They had agreed on no more lies, to trust one another. Looks like Andrew had made a mistake on that front but really, it was bound to happen. That was a lie, Neil was most likely in meltdown mode and had forgotten he had people who could help him now. Nicky was hysterical now and started yelling at Kevin, tears falling down his cheeks. “Well you speak Japanese too dickwad, what the fuck was he actually saying or are you going to wait another four hours to tell us that?”

“I don’t know what he was talking about! There were a few quick ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answers and an ‘of course’ but he wasn’t actually giving information. He probably didn’t want to get into trouble.”

Oh Andrew was going to enjoy being responsible for the death of the great Kevin Day. Just as he was about to fight Renee to get to him, the sound of the door opening pushed through his senses and he swivelled to see Neil walk into the room. Nicky gave a cry of relief, getting onto his feet and joining Matt as they ran over to fuss over the redhead. Neil tried meeting Andrew’s gaze and smile, but all he could do was glare at the sight of those piercing blues. Andrew was quite angry with him, and he’d soon find that out. Wymack was also quite angry by the looks of it, arms now crossed over his chest and a face like thunder. “Where in the actual fuck have you been, Josten? And don’t give me any of your usual bullshit because it’s not going to be good enough.”

Andrew watched Neil gently extricate himself from his cuddly giants and sighed as he looked around the room at everyone. It was Wymack who’d asked for answers yes, but Neil didn’t look at anyone other than Andrew, as if it was just the two of them.

“Ichirou called. He wanted an update on his assets and to make sure we weren’t doing anything stupid. He also wanted to reiterate what would happen if we didn’t manage to attract pro teams that weren’t to his liking. I told him that he wouldn’t be let down.”

Aaron piped up for the first time since they’d all walked into the court hours ago. “It’s been literal hours Josten, a text to say ‘I’m still alive, unfortunately’ would have been great. I’ve wasted my whole day.”

“I know how long it’s been, jackass.” Neil snapped, glaring daggers into Aaron’s skull. Andrew was still vibrating with anger and couldn’t hold it back any longer.

“Everyone get the fuck out.” When they all just stared at him, not moving, he emphasised his point by unsheathing a knife and giving a firm, “Now.”

Nicky and Kevin moved like lightning and were the first to leave. Allison smirked for some stupid reason, winking at Neil as she strode out of the room. Matt and Dan looked weary but still left, Aaron on their heels. Renee gave them both gentle smiles and nodded her head. Wymack gave Neil a stern look like he wanted to say more but thought better of hit, rubbing his forehead and mumbling about being ‘too old for this shit’. Abby gave Neil a few motherly touches, which the redhead flinched away from for the first time in a long time, and then she too was gone.

Now that they were alone Neil tried explaining with an, “Andrew I...” but he trailed off, seemingly lost for words. He didn’t have a chance to think of anything else before Andrew flung himself at his stupid junkie, fists gripping at Neil’s- no Andrew’s –t-shirt and burying his head into his chest. He smelt of apples and sweetness and god, Andrew felt like he could finally fucking breathe.

“You didn’t answer your fucking phone. Why didn’t you answer the phone?” Neil’s arms moved, one wrapping around Andrew’s waist the other holding the back of his neck, keeping him against his chest.

“Ichirou had a few extra words before the call ended. He said he was ‘sorry for my loss’. I didn’t have a clue what he was talking about at first but then I remembered. It’s the anniversary of mom’s death. I turned my phone off after and just ran. I came back when I turned my phone back on and saw the missed calls.”

As much as he hated Mary Hatford, he knew why Neil still mourned her sometimes. He was slowly beginning to understand that what his mother had done to him was wrong, that she had abused him for years, but she was all he had known and was the only safe thing for him. He hated it but kept quiet, not wanting to get into an argument on the matter right now. “Just let me know you’re alright next time. Kevin heard your call, heard the Japanese. I thought, I thought...”

Neil suddenly cupped his face in his scarred hands, tilting his head back so they were looking at each other, before leaning in to press their foreheads together. “I’m right here ‘Drew and I’m not going to disappear again. I’m right here.”

The kiss that followed was soft, gentle and slow, so unlike them but it was what they needed just then. They need to be able to feel everything and to be able to feel each other. Andrew didn’t want to let go, he wanted to stay and kiss Neil until his lips went numb but exhaustion was a bitch. He pulled back, looking at Neil’s lips which were swollen from their kisses and he had a pretty red flush that had blossomed on his cheeks.

“Come on, let’s go. I’m hungry and you owe me ice cream after what you just pulled.” Neil just laughed and nodded, taking one of Andrew’s hands in his own and linking their fingers together, walking them both towards the door.

“Whatever you want ‘Drew, whatever you want and I’ll give it to you.”

—————

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[whatmack]

Okay but I need more about Kevin and his dating tips 😭😭😭 does the poor thing ever figure his stuff out?? Do Neil and Andrew catch on and realize what he’s trying to do 🥺🥺 he’s just trying to woo them 😔

you know sometimes when life gives u a gift that it didn’t intend to, and you just hold that gift close in your arms and say thank you as life attempts to back away, shaking its head

“I know how to use it,” Neil said scathingly. 

Andrew gave him an unimpressed look. Kevin had a feeling, by the way Neil’s ears slowly turned red, that Andrew was saying something Kevin wasn’t supposed to be party to. When Andrew raised his eyes to meet Kevin’s, Kevin looked away, their own neck uncomfortably warm.

“Of course,” Renee said. It sounded like she’d never doubted him. Her piece was a beautiful whirl of colored glass, pastel rainbow, and looked like she cleaned it regularly, which Kevin appreciated. It was coming up on flu season, and everyone was a suspect. Kevin had no time to be sick.

Andrew wrapped an arm around Neil’s waist to help him hold the bong, deceptively casual. Only recently had the two of them begun to– Kevin called it “cuddling” in their own head, but knew better than to say it aloud–act like this around the team. It depended on how the two of them were feeling, and who else was in the room. Renee’s presence increased the chances; Nicky’s decreased it. Kevin wasn’t sure where they fell on the spectrum. They had to avert their eyes whenever it happened around them, feeling more like the red-handed candy thief the tighter Andrew and Neil were wound.

They just– they looked so good together. And seeing either of them looking any semblance of relaxed--

Andrew lit a match for Neil (the two of them had stopped using lighters, and nobody had asked why) and hooked his chin on Neil’s shoulder as Neil pressed his lips into the top of the pipe and sucked in. 

Taking a hit was not sexy, Kevin reminded themself. It was objectively kind of gross, even with an often-washed bong and Renee’s weed, which tended to be decent quality. Fishlips inside a glass tube never looked good. Hot airborne particles were terrible for your lungs. Neil’s eyelids fluttered as he let out a thin stream of white smoke, sighing. Andrew’s eyes were intent on his mouth. Not. Sexy. Goddammit. Pull it together, Kevin.

Dan grinned at Kevin across the circle. Good luck with that, her eyes said. Kevin wrinkled their nose at her and snatched the bong from Neil.

***

“I dare Kevin to stand up,” Renee said. They were all lying on the floor now, the smoke thick in the air above them.  Renee’s words stretched like melted…something. Mmelted. Mmmmm……aaahhhh…..

“Fine,” Kevin said. They pushed up with their arms, one at a time because feeling their joints move was fascinating, and got their feet underneath them. The vertigo made them blink. Each time they closed their eyes seemed like it took a long time. “Oof.”

“I’ll hold the applause,” Dan said. Her smile was lazier, now. She had colonized half of Renee’s lap and was playing slow piano on the cuffs of Renee’s pink socks.

Kevin made a show of sitting back down. They tried to point their ass towards Andrew and Neil while doing it. Highlighting your good features had been one of Matt’s suggestions. They had a feeling they weren’t very subtle, because Dan started laughing, hiding her face in Renee’s knee. Her laughing made Renee laugh, but what was special were the handful of hitching giggles that Neil stifled in his palm. He didn’t laugh often, and it always seemed to take him by surprise. Kevin realized they were staring.

“I dare Neil,” they said, because they had to say something to shake themselves back to the real world. “You…um. Um. Yeah.”

Andrew said something into Neil’s ear. Neil shot upright, now sitting like Kevin, and held out a hand. Oh no, Kevin knew that face. There would be no talking Neil out of whatever it was now.

Andrew propped himself up slower, braced on his elbows. His biceps were…wow. Good. They were like…curving, and shit. And wow.

Kevin’s attention snapped back to Neil because Dan was shouting at him. Well, not shouting. Strong pleading maybe. But Dan was still laughing, so it wasn’t bad. 

“Noooooo. Don’t do it Neil. Noooooooo.”

“I’ve had really bad things before,” Neil said. He was raising the bong to his mouth, but he didn’t have a match?

“Noooooo, save yourself my child. Run run far away!”

“No more running,” Neil said, and took a swig.

Dan managed to save the bong with a dramatic lunge across the floor. Watching Neil’s face scrunch in slow motion was hilarious. Kevin could feel their cheeks hurt from holding their mouth open, little packets of laughter jumping up from their lungs and hitting the back of their throat. Neil bent to wipe his mouth on the hem of his shirt; halfway through he rerouted and plucked at Kevin’s arm. Kevin raised it, confused. Until Neil pressed his tongue to the sleeve of Kevin’s sweatshirt and scrubbed.

“Ewww,” Kevin said automatically. They tried to shake Neil off. Neil scooted closer, clinging, and dragged his tongue from Kevin’s wrist all the way up their arm. Around the elbow Kevin had to close their eyes, because now that they were feeling that it felt– good. Like, really good. Really really good. 

Neil didn’t move away when he got to the seam of Kevin’s hood. He looped his arms around Kevin’s neck and left his head there, on Kevin’s shoulder, resting. Kevin dragged their eyes open to look at Andrew. Matt’s magazine had said they should stake their claim at times like this, but Kevin was pretty sure that was for stealing somebody’s boyfriend, and Kevin didn’t want to steal Neil away. They wanted– both of them. What were they supposed to do? It was a good thing they were too stoned to hyperventilate.

Andrew tapped two fingers against his temple and flicked them towards Kevin. Kevin could feel their jaw going slack. They had the sudden sense memory of the last time Andrew had done that, in their direction. It had been one of the times Andrew had dragged them down by the shirt and kissed them. Kevin never knew when those times were coming. They wondered if one was coming now. Kissing sounded like a wonderful idea. Kissing Andrew sounded like the best.

“I have to go to the bathroom. Renee come help me,” Dan said loudly. Kevin felt out of the corner of their feeling her standing and levering Renee up behind her, bent over with laughter. Kevin was warm all over. Neil wiggled closer, so he was almost sitting in Kevin’s lap. Kevin was maybe on fire, but like. It was chill.

“Got a clue yet, Day?” Andrew asked. Lazy-mouthed like this, he sounded the way he had coming off his medication, except that had been all…dark-swirly, and this was all soft colors. Kevin liked soft colors. They liked orange better. But that wasn’t soft colors’ fault. Soft colors were good. 

“Not yet,” Neil said against Kevin’s neck. It tickled. Kevin wanted him to keep doing it. “That’s okay. We’ll stay here.”

[emmerrr]

Neil has never had Christmas cookies (even those not too sweet shortbread ones or the extra gingery gingerbread men) and Andrew is personally offended. So of course he takes it upon himself to remedy the situation. “Shut up, Josten, they’re just cookies.” For the winter fic prompt.

this isn’t quite what you asked for because i’ve grown kind of allergic to headcanons that are like ‘neil has never [fill the blank]’, but i can absolutely write cute holiday cookie shenanigans for you! :)

-

The smell of cinnamon and cloves filled the hallway of the third floor of Fox Tower. Andrew followed his nose to the girls’ room, and Neil followed Andrew.

In the kitchen was organised chaos; Renee rolling out dough on the counter, Dan pulling out a cooked batch from the oven, Matt icing cooled gingerbread men, powdered sugar smeared across his cheek. Nicky and Allison were also there, Allison sitting on the breakfast bar reading a magazine, and Nicky doing little else other than getting in the way by the looks of things.

Matt looked up at Neil and Andrew’s entrance. “Oh good, you guys can help now, me and Dan are going to the movies and Renee needs happy helpers.”

Andrew rolled up his sleeves, putting his armbands on full display. “How about indifferent helpers,” he offered.

“I’ll take it,” said Renee.

“What are we helping with?” Neil asked.

“Cookie making,” Renee said, then took in Neil’s confused expression. “For the bake sale?”

Neil knew about the bake sale; all the PSU sport’s teams were putting one on to raise money for the children’s hospital over the holidays. For some reason he hadn’t considered they’d have to actually…bake stuff.

“Ah. That.”

“We’ve got it down to an art-form,” Renee said cheerily. “A fine-tuned machine.”

“Where does Allison fit into this assembly line?” Andrew asked.

“I’m project manager,” Allison said without looking up from her magazine.

“And Nicky?”

“Quality control,” he said with a grin, picking up one of the finished cookies and biting off a leg.

“Hey, quit eating the product, this is for charity,” Matt said, swatting Nicky’s hand away.

“You’re absolutely right,” Nicky said in a faux-apologetic tone, holding his swiped gingerbread man out to Matt. “Here, this one’s an amputee. We can make him little gingerbread crutches.”

Matt scowled, but Renee smiled patiently. “Just eat it, Nicky. But no more, okay?”

“Scout’s honour,” he said solemnly, hand over heart. Neil was pretty sure that wasn’t how the boy scout salute actually went, but whatever.

“Matt, come on,” Dan said. “You need to shower before we go, you’re covered in powdered sugar.”

“What?” His hands flew to his face. “Where?”

“Right there.”

He wiped at his face, smearing it even worse and adding some more for good measure. Dan sighed with fond exasperation and took his hand. “...Yeah, you got it, babe. Let’s go.”

They said their goodbyes and went to get ready in Matt’s suite, leaving Andrew and Neil to take their places. Neil stood in the middle of the kitchen for a moment, looking at all the bare cookies that still needed to be decorated. He’d never felt more out of his depth, and he’d been involved in a mob war.

Andrew flicked his nose lightly. “They’re cookies, Neil. They won’t bite.”

“That’s funny,” Neil deadpanned. “You’re funny.”

“I’m a regular comedian.”

Renee swooped over and handed Andrew a piping bag. “Have you decorated gingerbread men before?” she asked.

He shrugged. “Once or twice.”

“Great. Do whatever you want, just within reason, okay? Nothing rude.”

“Renee, who do you take me for?”

She just smiled serenely and Andrew headed over to the decoration station. Renee turned to Neil.

“In a couple of minutes, a timer’s going to go off, and when it does I need you to take the baked cookies out of the oven, and put in that last batch of uncooked ones. Can you do that for me?”

It sounded easy enough. “Got it.”

While he was waiting for the timer to go off, Neil washed up the dishes that had been soaking in the sink. Allison and Nicky had now moved over to the sitting area, and Allison was painting Nicky’s nails.

“So you two are really just not gonna help at all, huh,” Neil remarked.

“I’d love to, but like...my nails,” Nicky said, wiggling his now pastel orange fingertips Neil’s way.

“I’m really better in a moral support kind of role,” Allison added, looking up at Renee with a smirk. “Right, babe?”

“You’re lucky you’re so pretty,” Renee retorted, and Allison snorted a laugh.

The timer went off, and Neil removed the cookies and set them on the side, then put the new ones in and reset the timer.

He dried the dishes, then moved the baked cookies to a cooling rack.

“What now?” he asked Renee.

She looked up from decorating. “Now you can grab a piping bag and come do some decorating.”

He’d kind of been hoping to avoid this part, but he went over to have a look.

Renee was giving all of her gingerbread people festive jumpers with patterns that looked like they should take ages to do but somehow she was speeding through it, and they all looked identical.

There was a bunch of finished ones on the other counter that Matt and Dan must have done. They were all pretty basic, with smiley faces and buttons, reminiscent of ones Neil had seen in stores. He was fairly confident that he could recreate something similar.

Andrew hadn’t said a word since Renee had sent him over to start decorating, and he was now hunched over a cookie with his piping bag as he worked, the tip of his tongue poking out in concentration. Neil smiled and went over.

“Can I see?”

Andrew shifted back so Neil could have a look. The gingerbread Andrew was currently icing wasn’t yet finished, but it had the outline of a Foxes jersey on, black hair, and a tiny little queen chess piece on its cheek. 

Neil grinned. “It’s Kevin.”

“It will be,” Andrew said, and continued icing. Neil looked past him at the ones Andrew had already finished.

There was a Renee, complete with her pastel dipped hair, and a Wymack with his tribal tattoos and a whistle around his neck. And next to them, with auburn hair and a number 10 jersey, was a Neil.

“You made a gingerbread me,” he said with quiet awe. The icing on the Neil cookie was the driest; Andrew had clearly decorated this one first.

“I did,” Andrew said, without looking up. 

“You’re making the Foxes.”

Andrew sighed. “What’s your point.”

“My point is that you could have decorated these however you wanted, and you specifically chose to make us. Your team.”

He looked up. “It’s not my fault I have to spend all my time with you assholes.”

“Yes it is,” Neil said, smirking. “You love us.”

“I tolerate you.”

“What’s going on?” Nicky called over.

“Andrew’s making the Foxes as gingerbread men because he loves us,” Neil replied, without dropping Andrew’s gaze. The corner of Andrew’s mouth twitched, almost a smile.

“Awww, Andrew!” Nicky exclaimed. “Make mine the prettiest.”

Andrew waved a hand at his cousin, agreement or dismissal, it was hard to say. Quietly, just for Neil, he said, “You’re a real pain in the ass.”

“I know.” Neil grabbed a piping bag filled with black royal icing and got to work.

Andrew paused in his own decorating to peer over Neil’s shoulder, and it didn’t take long for him to sigh when he realised what Neil was doing.

“You’re so predictable,” he drawled.

“You started it.”

Neil finished outlining gingerbread-Andrew’s second armband and hurriedly filled it in. “Renee, where’s the yellow, I need to do his hair.”

It took him ages to finish this one cookie, but he finally had a passable Andrew, complete with a tiny cigarette. He put it next to gingerbread-Neil, and Andrew snapped a picture of them with his phone.

“For Dan’s photo wall?” Neil asked dryly.

“Beats getting my own photo taken,” Andrew said with a shrug. “I wonder if I can use this for my student ID...”

Nicky came up behind them and got a good look at their creations. “Oh my god, I want the Kevin one. And look at the little gingerbread-yous! They’re adorable. You guys are adorable.”

“We’re also finished now,” Andrew said, brushing his hand against Neil’s. “Your turn, Nicky. And Allison.”

“Oh what? I’ve already been here all afternoon!” Nicky complained.

“And what a help you’ve been,” Renee said, her tone not betraying any sarcasm, but her smile definitely did.

“Yeah, come on,” Allison said, finally deigning to come over now the bulk of the work was done. “I want to make a prettier me than Andrew did. Although,” she allowed, “that’s not bad.”

“Maybe if stick-ball doesn’t work out I have a promising future in niche cookie decorating then,” he said. “Renee, we’re out.”

“Thanks for your help, guys!” she said with a wave, and Andrew took Neil’s hand properly, leading him out and up to the roof.

It was cold up there, but it wasn’t so bad huddled together, sharing cigarettes and kisses.

“I can’t believe I got away with only decorating one cookie,” Neil said.

“It did take you, like, half an hour.”

“Still. You did loads.”

Andrew shrugged. “In fairness, yours was the best one.”

Neil took Andrew’s hand, warming it between his own. “It was, wasn’t it?”

Andrew pressed a kiss to Neil’s jaw then leaned his head on his shoulder. “Don’t get cocky, Neil.”

He squeezed Andrew’s hand. “Too late.”

[jemej3m]

What Now? (p2)

andrew and neil get protective over their respective kids: kevin is a history nerd. robin is an exy junkie. we meet allison, nicky and renee.  (also yes, ms danielle wilds and headmaster matthew boyd are trying their best to remain professional at work but they be havin a BANGIN good time together ya know)

“...And I’m sorry for cutting your hair with craft scissors, and I’m sorry for drawing on you ini permanent marker when we were meant to be napping, and I’m sorry for saying your stupid history books are stupid, and I’m sorry for putting grapes into the bottom of your bag, and I’m sorry for telling Thea that you have cooties so that she wouldn’t kiss you, and I’m sorry for scribbling on your things, and calling you bad names, and pushing you.”

Neil Josten sighed. His daughter still sounded rather petulant, which meant none of this had truly gotten through. They’d written this speech at the dinner table last night, and he’d been almost impressed at the antics she’d described to him. 

Matthew Boyd looked pleased, sitting back in his chair. “Okay? Are we all happy?”

Andrew Minyard - all it’d taken was a quick search for articles to flood Neil’s feed - said nothing, watching Neil from under his eyelashes. Neil had no clue what he wanted from him, and had stubbornly avoided looking in his direction as both kids read their apologies. Kevin was brooding, looking out the window. Robin’s hand was tugging on Neil’s sleeve. 

“Thank you for your time, Neil, Andrew.” Boyd stood. “I hope both of you will continue to remind both Kevin and Robin how important civility is.”

Neil was sure that all four of them grimaced at the idea of civility. If Andrew was going to use Neil’s past to degrade his worth as a parent, he’d have to try a little harder than that. Besides: He was being hypocritical. Neil had never been arrested, let alone sent to court and convicted - Andrew had. Twice. 

Shuffling Robin out, they stood next to one another on the pavement, Robin holding his hand. The whole ordeal was over now. Time to forget Andrew Minyard and his arrogant son. 

"Off to class?” He tipped Robin’s chin up carefully. 

She nodded, but tears were welling in the corners of her eyes and threatening to spill. Neil knelt down immediately. 

“Robin, what’s wrong.” He took her cheeks in his hands. 

“I didn’t really mean to push Kevin.” She blubbered. “Is that why you’re going away tonight?”

“Oh, sweetheart, no.” He drew her in, letting her head rest on his shoulder. 

Tonight, Robin would stay with Allison Reynolds. She was the parent of Laila and Jeremy, who’s daughter had long moved on from Exy, but who’s son remained on Neil’s A-Grade team. They were close friends. Robin had grown to adore Laila, doting on her like a little sister, taking time to teach Robin to bake, play backyard Exy, or even help with homework. She stayed with them when Neil had to travel out of state with his team. 

“I don’t want to.” She sniffled. “Why don’t you take me with you, like you normally do?”

“Because they’ve skewed the scheduling, Robin. I don’t want you to miss school.” He brushed a kiss on her forehead whilst she was being unresistant, revelling in the affections that Robin had grown comfortable with. “I’ll be back tomorrow night, I promise. Allison has your things, and your nightlight: The guest bedroom always has its locks. Laila will keep you safe, okay? Maybe she’ll bake you those brownies that you love.”

She perked up slightly, nodding and taking off: Her glittery backpack bounced on her back. “Bye Dad!” She called over her shoulder, waving. Neil closed his eyes as his chest squeezed. 

It always pained him to see Robin go. 

With shaky hands, he drew out his pack of cigarettes and shook out the lighter. His fingers were trembling, making it difficult to spark one. Frustratedly, he threw the lighter into the bin on his left and rubbed his eyes, letting out the breath he’d been holding. 

“Want a light?”

Slowly, he peeled his eyes open. 

Andrew Minyard was stood to his right, offering a sparked lighter.

Andrew watched Neil Josten light his cigarette and take a slow drag, hollowing his scarred cheeks. His eyes were the same spectacular blue of the sky, his hair almost the colour of blood. Fitting, for the Butcher’s boy. It would be shocking, if Andrew wasn’t incapable of being shocked, that Neil would be here. It was always strange to see people you heard of in the news when you were younger. 

What a quiet life he’s arranged for himself, here. 

Andrew could say the same. Only moments ago had he carted Kevin off to class, books under his arm and a sullen set to his frown. His son was a miserable nerd. It was hilarious. 

“I know about you.” Neil offered. “I don’t want your son near my daughter.”

“And I know about you.” Andrew rebutted. He couldn’t deny he didn’t appreciate the honesty. Most parents at this school were conniving fuckwits. “I don’t want your daughter near my son.”

“Good.” Neil huffed. “That’s settled, then.”

Andrew wasn’t finished. “What do you do?”

Neil rose a single eyebrow, keeping his gaze on the stagnant carpark in front of them. Storm clouds gathered on the horizon: Andrew hated the humid, electric storms of South Carolina’s summers. “I coach the junior state Exy teams. You?”

“Criminal prosecutor.” 

At least Neil had the audacity to laugh. Andrew hid the twitch at the corner of his mouth behind his hand, watching as Neil dropped his cigarette to the ground, stamping it out with his heel. He looked at Andrew one last time, and really, fuck him for looking like that. “Keep your son away from my daughter, Minyard, and we won’t have any problems.”

“Shove your attitude up your ass, and then we’ll have no problems.” Andrew left with his mocking salute, walking towards his car. He was sure Neil continued glared at him until he’d driven well out of his range of vision. 

It was a big enough school that he’d most likely never run into Neil Josten and his pretty eyes again. 

That was fine by Andrew - but oh, boy. He’d been very wrong. 

Neil was extremely uncomfortable. A big banner across the auditorium read Bring Your Parent To School Day with dozens of exclamation marks: Around him were a chaotic cohort of children and parents, gathered into small groups and chattering excitedly. Robin had disappeared five minutes ago, and he was anxiously looking for her to return. Allison was supposed to be here, but she was nowhere to be seen, and Andrew Minyard was across the room. 

Socialising wasn’t his thing: Everyone here was discussing their jobs, college, high school, reminiscing, all that shit. Neil had spent his elementary years home schooled, his high-school years running, his college years in perpetual fear and his occupation fighting the prejudice established against him. 

This place was a rumour gold-mine. 

“Neil! Neil!” Robin barrelled into him. “Look! These are my friends, Abby and Bee!” 

One was blonde and pink-cheeked, who looked very shy. The other was grinning madly, her chubbiness endearing. Their mother rushed after them, skidding to a stop before she could barrel into Neil head-first. They all wore matching silver necklaces, crosses hanging daintily at their necks. The mother’s silver hair, however, was streaked through with many colours. It was confusing. 

“I’m Renee,” She said apologetically. “You must be Neil.”

Neil shook her hand uneasily. “I’m sorry that Robin dragged your kids off.”

She waved off his concern. 

“Abby is my cousin.” Bee explained to Neil. “But she lives with me now. And Robin told me that she hasn’t always lived with you. Is that why she doesn’t call you Dad?”

“Or he’s gay,” Abby chided. “And it would be confusing to call both her dads Dad.”

Neil flushed, but the girls were all giggling. Renee mouthed an apology, hiding her face behind her hands. Neil shook his head. 

“Don’t worry. I get these questions all the time.”

“Which questions?” Allison’s familiar, chiding tone could be heard over the din easily. She appeared by his side, Laila and Jeremy in tow. Neil watched fondly as Robin hugged Laila hesitantly, and introduced her Exy friends to her classmates. 

“That I’m gay.” Neil provided. “Allison, this is Renee. Renee, this is Allison. Don’t mind her being a bitch: She can’t help it.”

“The children.” Allison hissed. Renee waved it off. 

“They’re not listening.” Momentarily, they watched their kids bonding together. “My daughter and niece were just being very invasive. I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable, Neil.” 

“Oh,” Allison snorted. “He gets asked if he’s gay all the time. It’s not your kids’ fault. He’s just an absolute twink.”

Neil shoved her lightly and she elbowed him back. 

Renee was about to ask her a question, but was promptly hooked by a middle aged man and his judgemental glares towards both Neil and Allison. She threw an apologetic glance over her shoulder towards them and the kids as she dragged her daughters off. 

“It’s not like you to introduce yourself to strangers.” Neil hedged. “What about your whole all parents are beneath me attitude?”

She examined her nails. “Can’t blame me for knowing when someone’s hot and eyeing me up. Not your fault you can’t read signals.” 

“She was what?” Neil shook his head. “Whatever. I want to get out of here. Can’t we just take them all to a diner?” 

Allison clucked her tongue, looking at where Renee was being introduced into a new circle. “Not tonight, blue-eyed boy. Go get some kids into that program of yours. Be productive. Find a single parent to complain with. Or flirt with.”

“You are a single parent to complain with.” He grunted, crossing his arms. “Alright. Fuck off with you, then.”

She grinned and pinched his cheek, before sauntering off. 

God, Neil hated school functions. 

“Neil, it’s loud in here.” Robin tugged on his sleeve. “Can we go outside for a bit?”

“Do you want to go home?” He hedged. 

She paused; then shrugged. “I want to play with Abby and Bee. But I’m not sure.” 

“Let’s make that decision outside.”  He conceded, and guided her outside. His anxiety was making him itch for a cigarette, but he never smoked around Robin. Instead, he crouched down next to her, letting her put her hands on his shoulders and hoisting her up onto his back. He grinned over his shoulder at his daughter. “Comfy?”

She nodded into her shirt. They walked around the edge of the building, away from the entrance and the cacophony of noise. Cars were crammed into every parking space. Across the way was the administrative building, where Neil had last spoke to Andrew Minyard. Neil’d seen him only briefly tonight. Had he already left?

Why do you care? 

They both leaned on the brick wall of the auditorium’s exterior, Neil crouching to Robin’s eye-level. 

“Dad,” She said hesitantly. “Why are everyone’s families older?” 

Neil brushed an eyelash off her cheek. “It’s their choice when they have children, Robin. I was lucky to get you when I did.”

“But I don’t have a mom.”

“She’s out there, somewhere. We’ve talked about this, Robin.” Neil tapped her nose. “Did you want to find her?”

She shook her head vehemently. “No. I don’t want to leave you.”

Neil’s heartstrings were being yanked in all different directions. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

She blew a raspberry at him. “Can we go home?”

“Fine, you rascal.” Relief released the tension that had curled his shoulders all evening. He took her hand. “Let’s go.”

He threw himself into the car with enthusiasm, after strapping her into the backseat, and put the keys into the ignition. 

And then: Of course. The car wouldn’t start. 

“What’s wrong with the car, Neil?” 

He was so tempted to whack his head against the horn of the stupid steering wheel. Instead, he gave Robin a reassuring glance and swung himself out of the car. 

It was probably just his battery: He’d get Allison to jumpstart his car and then they’d be sweet. Or she could just give them a lift home. 

Cranking open the hood, he checked that nothing was about to explode, before calling out to Robin: “Can you try turning the radio on?”

She scrambled into the front. He could see her little flushed cheeks shaking her head after she’d fumbled for a minute or so. He drew in a deep breath and reached for his phone. 

“That’s a shitshow of a car.” 

Neil’s eye twitched. He turned around. “Not all of us are lawyers.” 

“And yet, you could have been a professional Exy player.” Andrew - who else would it be, honestly - pointed out. “Seems slightly more lucrative than this.”

Neil seethed. “What do you want?” He could see Kevin, standing a little ways back with his arms crossed. Sullen brat. 

“To offer my jump cables?” Andrew rose his eyebrows. “Unless you want to walk home in the dark.”

“And you care, because?”

“Because I’m such a caring, affectionate person, Josten.”

Neil snorted. Right. “I have my own cables, thanks.”

“Always prepared, runaway.” Andrew rose his chin. “You’d still need a battery.”

Neil ground his teeth. Whatever angle that Andrew was attempting, Neil just couldn’t figure it out. “Fine. Fine. God, I’m going to hate owing you. Let’s just get this over with.”

“Neil, what’s happening?” Robin called. 

He leaned over the opened front door. “You’re going to have to wait a little out here, okay? Kevin’s father’s helping us start the car.”

She thought about it for a moment: Neil expected a fight, not wanting to be around Kevin, not wanting to stand outside in the cold and the dark. Instead, she merely said “Okay!” and shuffled out of the car feet-first. Neil watched as Kevin didn’t move from where he stood, even as she approached. 

Odd. 

Andrew swerved his car up as Neil unloaded his cables - its sleek exterior and leather lining screaming pretentiousness. Neil sat behind the wheel after they’d connected their engines. 

“Feel free to electrocute yourself any time.” Neil offered, before starting the car.  It revved to life with a rather guttural screech of protest. 

“Missed opportunity.” Andrew agreed. “Then I wouldn’t have to stand the sight of you any longer.”

“You offered to help.”

“Technicalities.” Andrew leaned his elbows onto the rolled-down window sill of . Neil’s car. “You owe me, Josten.”

“Thanks.” He gestured to his engine. “For that.” 

Andrew cleared his throat. “Don’t make a habit out of it.”

Neil almost smiled, rubbing the twitch at the corners of his lips away with his hand. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Bye, Kevin.” Robin waved to Andrew’s son as they drove away. 

“What’s that about?” Neil eyed her in the rear-view mirror. 

His daughter wriggled suspiciously, cheeks pinked. “Nothing.” 

Neil huffed. Surely a daughter of his would be better at lying than that. 

i have no idea how i want to get them together in this

[lolainslackss]

Could you do number 13 for the winter prompts? For Andreil?

a couple of people asked for this one!

13. my family invites you to join our holiday meal as an obvious setup and i’m so sorry

Andrew’s lying on his bed, half-asleep, when Aaron knocks on the door and lets himself in. The smell of the Christmas dinner Nicky and Erik are preparing wafts in after him: roast turkey, buttery potatoes, and the spicy hint of pumpkin pie. Aaron sits down on his own bed, which is across from Andrew’s, and clears his throat.

“Hey,” he says. “Remember how I invited someone over for Christmas dinner? Um, that guy Neil?”

“Your sad friend from the Christmas tree farm?” Andrew replies, regarding him out of one open eye. “Yes, you already said.”

Aaron always worked at the tree farm over the holidays to earn some extra cash. He put most of it towards buying Katelyn these ludicrously extravagant presents - a complete waste in Andrew’s opinion. This year, he’d become chummy with some other guy who worked there hauling Christmas trees around. This Neil guy apparently had nowhere to go for the holidays, so was clearly some kind of walking tragedy. Aaron had told him and Nicky the whole sob story a couple of weeks ago before asking them if it was okay to invite Neil to dinner. Nicky had called Aaron the kindest boy in the world. Andrew did too, but in a more mocking tone.

“Well, I was thinking,” Aaron goes on, fiddling with his comforter, “you know how it’s going to be like, me and Katelyn, and Nicky and Erik?”

“Uh-huh,” Andrew replies, bored of the conversation.

“And how Kevin’s bringing Thea?” Aaron continues, making eye contact with the ground. “And how Renee’s coming with Allison?”

“Are you going to make some kind of point any time soon?” Andrew asks, a creeping feeling of apprehension worming its way through his gut.

“I kind of, sort of, asked Neil to come because I thought he might be a good um, match,” Aaron says rapidly. “You know, for you.”

“A good match. For me,” Andrew repeats, sitting up and twirling round on his knees to face Aaron. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I think you two could really hit it off. If you know what I mean?”

“I thought you invited him because he’s very unfortunate.”

“Yeah, that was part of the reason,” Aaron explains, looking defensive. “The other part is because I think that he’s, well, your type.”

“I don’t have a type,” Andrew snarls, “and if I did, you would be the last to know about it.”

Aaron mirrors his glare for a second before frowning and looking down at the floor. He looks disappointed almost, like he was so sure he was being a brilliant brother. So sure he was doing Andrew a favour. Andrew hates him a little bit for it.

“Is he even gay?” Andrew finds himself asking.

“Um- I think so?” Aaron says, extremely uncertainly. “He has like, a vibe?”

“A vibe?” Andrew parrots blankly. “Stop pretending you have anything resembling a gaydar. Remember that you needed me to literally spell it out for you and you’ve known me since day fucking one.”

“You could just ask him,” Aaron says, shrugging. “When he gets here.”

“Maybe you should have made things clear before you invited him over here to go on some fucking blind date with me.”

“Well, he doesn’t know it’s a blind date.”

“He doesn’t know?”

“He just thinks he’s coming over for dinner.”

“I cannot believe I share DNA with you.”

“Well, he’s coming. I’m sorry,” Aaron says, holding his hands up in surrender. “We can drop the whole blind date thing, alright? Just dinner, okay?”

Andrew nods, but in hindsight, he should have made Aaron pinkie promise, because as soon as Neil Josten is ushered through their door twenty minutes later, Aaron is shoving him in the seat next to Andrew’s.

“So, this is Andrew,” Aaron says, putting his hands on Neil’s shoulders and holding him in place. “You’re going to sit next to him, okay?”

Andrew glares at Aaron over the top of Neil’s head, but his twin just pointedly raises his eyebrows before spinning on his heel and scooting through to the kitchen under the pretence of ‘helping out’. As if Aaron is any use in the kitchen.

Neil mutters something like ‘thanks for having me’, which Andrew returns with a miniscule shrug, before the room goes completely silent. It’s like, church silent. Andrew inspects his cutlery for water marks so he has something to do. After that, he unfolds and refolds his napkin. Finally, there’s nothing else to do but fucking look at Neil Josten. He turns his head fractionally to the side and sneakily slides his gaze in the guy’s direction.

He’s a little taller than himself. He’s quiet, apparently content to sit in the most painfully awkward silence that there ever was, but there’s also a sliver of tension in his body language that indicates he’s not one hundred percent comfortable with the situation. As Andrew watches him, Neil looks around the room, taking in every detail. He’s attractive, Andrew can admit that. His clothes (grey hoodie, unironed slacks) are terrible, but he has a nice face. Winter blue, Andrew thinks, rather stupidly, when Neil finally turns and their eyes properly meet for the first time.

Neil smiles awkwardly at him. The smile creates a tiny star of a dimple in his left cheek. Below it, Andrew notices some pale, silvery scarring.

“I hate small talk, just so you know,” Andrew tells him, looking away.

“Okay,” Neil says. “No small talk.”

The doorbell rings, and Andrew gets out of his seat and hurries to the door. As he does so, he wonders if Neil has figured out the whole thing’s a set-up yet, and if he has, what his opinion on that is. He also wonders if his brain will ever stop thinking useless thoughts.

He opens the door and Renee and Allison make their way inside, undoing their matching puffy jackets and unwinding their scarves as they do so.

“Save me,” Andrew mutters darkly into Renee’s ear as she pulls him in for a hug.

“What?” Renee asks.

“Aaron has brought this guy,” he says under his breath, jerking his head in the direction of the table. “It’s a set-up. A pretty obvious one, really.”

Renee’s brow creases as she watches Neil sitting placidly with his hands in his lap. “Does he know?”

Andrew shrugs.

“Do you want him to know?” Allison chimes in, grinning slyly. “He’s pretty.”

“Keep your voice down,” Andrew bites out, causing Neil to look at all three of them.

“Neil, hello!” Allison calls over, striding across the room to shake his hand. “We’ve heard so much about you-”

As Andrew and Renee stand by the door to watch Allison attempt to charm Neil, the doorbell jingles again.

Andrew lets Kevin and Thea inside and shoots Renee a look. She gets the message and guides them to the table. Andrew busies himself with hanging the coats and scarves and tries to think of what his next move is going to be. When they’re all sat around the table, paired off, eating dinner, it’s going to be even more obvious Aaron intended for him and Neil to be an item for the evening. The problem is that he can’t really tell if Neil’s into it. He can’t really tell if he’s into it. He’s never had a blind date before. He’s never even had a date before. Jerking off Roland in the backseat of his car doesn’t count, he knows that. What is he supposed to do? What is he supposed to say?

The doorbell pipes up again and he silently lets Katelyn come inside. He ignores her cheerful babbling and stuffs her coat on the rack next to Renee’s. Annoyingly, she was the last person to arrive which means he can’t even waste any more time lurking by the door like some weird butler.

He walks back to the table and returns to his seat next to Neil.

“Your friends are nice,” Neil says, nudging Andrew’s elbow with his own.

“They’re not my friends,” Andrew mumbles, ignoring the flush warmth of Neil’s skin. “And we said no small talk.”

“Sorry,” Neil says exaggeratedly. “Do you want to talk about moral philosophy or something instead?”

Andrew narrows his eyes at him. Was that flirting? Flirting about ethics? Is that something people do?

Before he can respond, Nicky kicks open the door and he, Erik and Aaron parade inside the room holding overflowing platters of food. It takes them several trips to carry all the food through to the table. By the time the turkey is plonked down in front of him, Andrew can sense all eyes are on him. Everyone is so nosy; Nicky should have served popcorn instead. Andrew carves his veggies into confetti, hating everyone.

“What happened there?” Allison asks bluntly, waving her fork just under her eye. It’s the same spot where Neil’s scars lie.

“Got into a fight with a Christmas tree,” Neil answers, deadpan.

Allison laughs loudly and Andrew sips his wine to hide his smirk.

“It’s true,” Aaron says. “I saw it. Very violent.”

“I thought I knew you from somewhere,” Kevin barks triumphantly, slamming his fist on the table like he’s some sort of drunken pirate in a tavern. “Thea - this guy helped us pick out our tree last week.”

“And now he’s dating Andrew?” Thea asks, confused.

“What?” Neil asks, mercifully hard of hearing all of a sudden.

“Nothing,” Aaron says. “Who wants dessert?”

Andrew raises his hand and then gulps down a generous swig of wine for posterity. He’s sure this dinner is going to be his legitimate cause of death.

Conversation messily nosedives into drinking games over dessert, and by the time everyone’s plates are empty, the majority of the dinner guests are mildly tipsy. Because Andrew’s life is just one misfortune stacked on top of another, he loses one of the convoluted games and has to clean the dishes as a forfeit.

“Neil will help you,” Renee says sweetly as she passes him her plate.

Traitor, he mouths at her, to which she just shrugs and sips her peppermint tea.

Aaron stacks up the remainder of the plates and unloads them into Neil’s arms and then they’re both being shooed into the kitchen. Aaron even closes the door. Andrew swears if there were a lock, they’d be barricaded inside until they kissed as if it were fucking seven minutes in heaven or something. He dumps the dirty dishes into the foamy water and starts scrubbing them. He feels stuffed, vaguely horny and not even remotely tipsy.

He passes Neil a clean wet plate.

“So, this is a set-up, right?” Neil asks, drying it.

“Yes,” Andrew admits, shoving a roasting tray down to the bottom of the sink to soak.

“Aaron didn’t tell me,” Neil says, sighing as he stacks the dry plates on top of each other. “I wonder why he thought-?”

“He thought you were ‘my type’,” Andrew explains.

“Am I?” Neil asks.

“I don’t have a type,” Andrew chooses to say, otherwise thinking, fuck yes.

“Was this weird for you?” Neil asks.

“Not in the way you’re thinking,” Andrew says, shrugging. “You?”

“It’s kind of difficult to have a supposed ‘first date’ with someone when all their family and friends are present.”

You’ve hit the nail on the head, Andrew thinks. He pulls the plug, swivels round and leans against the counter. His marigold gloves drip plump drops of water onto the tiles. Neil’s sleeves are rolled up, revealing a spattering of brown freckles. He catches Andrew staring and grins and it lights up the room like a fucking Christmas tree. What a missed opportunity, Andrew thinks bitterly.

“Why don’t we try again?” Neil asks.

“What, like a proper date?” Andrew says, suppressing the urge to scoff. “Roses and candles?”

“No roses or candles,” Neil replies, shaking his head. “No small talk.”

“No meddling friends and family,” Andrew adds.

“Sounds good,” Neil says, reaching out to brush a rogue soap sud from Andrew’s cheek.

“Okay, then,” Andrew says, making a mental note to get Aaron something half-decent for Christmas. “It’s a date.”

[aceaaroniscanon]

Could you elaborate on their first kiss (if ur not gonna write it in a different post?)

tbh, this ask is psychic. i was actually going to do it on a text post but like, i barely had enough time to do b&r, much less that. so like, you’re a fucking lifesaver, anon.

(previous post)

at this point, neil hatford has changed about pretty much all of andrew’s rules apart from the jock thing. neil has made andrew:

bring someone home for something other than a group project

eat someone else’s cooking (not after the incident in first year)

have a crush on a jock

andrew’s reputation around the school counts for him being in the gsa (people think he’s there to mooch up on renee), having hospitalized that dude at the freshman mixer (which was actually aaron’s doing), taking unknown medication in the middle of the day (pain meds because he doesn’t wear his hearing aids to school), and being the MVP of the debate team (him and aaron are a roasting in a package deal, okay)

in all the weeks that came after andrew’s realization of his crush, neil has:

improved his grades 

been to at least two of the debate team’s events 

invited andrew to all of his games (”what makes you think i want to go there” “well it wouldn’t hurt to ask, wouldn’t it? it’s not like we have anything apart from tutoring on fridays”) 

stayed over to keep andrew company on more than one weekday (which only renee used to do)

once, neil even barged into a debate meeting to have a silent freak out about his A- on biology while andrew just looked on not-fondly 

aaron: that is bull

andrew: shut up, your girlfriend makes you look stupider than this

aaron: you may not know this but you just played yourself

andrew’s pretty much screwed the pooch, especially with how he gives neil Special Treatment, or so aaron calls it.

unknown to andrew, neil has been having his own Feelings.

actually, it was kevin and dan who noticed. they were sitting in wymack’s living room, waiting for wymack to come back from his call with abby to start watching hush when they noticed him smiling at his phone

dan: he’s smiling. who you talking to there, lover boykevin: it’s probably his stupid tutorneil: he’s not stupiddan: andrew minyard has got you grinning this much?kevin: he’s been like this since he got back from his overnight trip the first time.

neil is not amused to have been their subject topic until wymack got back so they could start the movie. all he can do is ignore them (which isn’t that hard since andrew kind of sent him a sneaky vid of aaron mouthing along to beyonce)

after the movie, dan actually tells him that if he or andrew makes a move, he has to tell dan.

neil: what move?dan: you know, to start dating?kevin: i can’t believe you didn’t get that the first time. what kind of move did you think it was? minyard hates footballdan: it’s soccerkevin: shut your fucking mouth

neil has a thought about it. days pass, and really, he considers it. andrew’s not the conventional potential boyfriend (not like matt and dan), but neil definitely trusts him. he trusts andrew with secrets. 

like his years in russia, memories he only knew about by word not by heart. he went to a therapist once, and they had him fish out all these repressed events, all nightmares he thought were fictional until that very moment.

like his years before kevin, when he wasn’t allowed out of the house for not knowing anyone in the neighborhood, for running away for more than one occasion because he hated the nights that he couldn’t talk to someone and his mother wasn’t in the mood to shut him up gently

like his insecurities of having no official family

he considers it

this all comes to past one late friday night/early saturday morning.it’s 2 AM, they’re in andrew’s room, and both of them stopped studying around midnight. so far, they’ve watched cat videos and danced around (stopping when andrew dislodged his hearing aid twice). neil has switched languages on more than occasion.

they quiet down, even andrew’s insomniac tendencies melting away with the quiet of the night. the only light on in the room is andrew’s table lamp and the occasional text from kevin from neil’s phone on the desk.

they sit down on andrew’s carpet and tell each other secrets only they would know. at some point, they end up lying down on their sides, facing each other.

andrew could kiss him then and there, and he would not be surprised if he did. but the carpet is so soft. why didn’t he notice that before? 

neil’s gaze is on him, looking past his eyes, a tactic andrew knew well from years of avoiding direct eye contact.

“what are you looking at,” he asks, a whisper. the night is too loud in its silence and it seems inappropriate to break it.

“your ear,” neil mutters back. “can i touch it?”

in the dead of night, with the clock striking 3, with neil’s blue eyes staring into andrew’s like this, anything could happen. andrew sat up to take it off and pressed himself down to the carpet, working ear to the floor.

god, this carpet is soft

neil traces a finger over the shell of andrew’s dead ear, a movement he saw but didn’t anticipate. at the brief tensing of his shoulders, neil pulled away, then continued at andrew’s nod.

he tried not to fall asleep then and there, but then neil’s fingers reached for his hair, and andrew’s eyes started drooping.

neil says something. his mouth moves and andrew tries to get his brain to catch up with the words. i can take the couch. are you tired?

andrew sighs, soft and content. he answers, “this carpet is really soft.” and he sees neil laugh.

they withdraw for the night.

neil is up earlier than anyone in the minyard-hemmick household, still. he checks the clock by the living room doorway and it says 9. 

he goes on a run, takes a shower, and sets to cooking the minyard-hemmicks their breakfast.

andrew is the first one up.

neil hadn’t thought it would be different, that having that one intimate moment of andrew’s trust would blow everything over. andrew still made neil feel like he scored a goal whenever he so much as met neil’s eyes from across the room, and andrew still looked like he could break neil down to his roots and build him up again, better. neil couldn’t help that.

nothing changed and everything changed all at the same time.

neil brings out the mugs for him, and andrew walks past him, elbow brushing against the small of his back, an early morning greeting. they prepare breakfast together.

aaron walks in, takes a look at both of them, then sighs, frustrated. this isn’t new. aaron looks like death every morning.

nicky isn’t up until ten minutes later, saying that he only had five hours of sleep but was too hungry to keep sleeping.

andrew puts all the dishes in the dishwasher when everyone’s done, and neil handwashes everything else. nicky and aaron dispersed from the kitchen, and neil knew very distinctly that andrew was either going to say or do something because he has been staring at the side of neil’s head for all of three minutes.neil meets his gaze, a smile on his lips. “good morning,” he says.

instead of answering, andrew pushes himself up with his hands on the sink counter and kisses him on the cheek, chaste and brief, barely a touch.

neil watches andrew walk out of the kitchen, his ears just as pink as his hair, and neil thinks, okay, maybe he had to tell dan now.

[ravenvsfox]

i've been obsessively checking your blog for anymore writing prompts you've done. your writing is so real and beautiful and i need it all the time. pls if you can, any (or ALL!) of these would be wonderful and greatly appreciated and loved!!! -- 72: “I have something for you.” 76: “Come here.” 77: “I hate hospitals.”

(you’re a honey and I love you, sorry this took so long to get done! I incorporated 72 and 76 for ya, bc I’m a little hospital-ed out for now :)) Hope it’s okay xo)

The villa Allison books for the summer of Neil’s sophomore year is more window than house. The beach crawls all the way up to the back door and begs its way in on their heels and the folds of their clothing.

Neil kind of hates the smell of the water, but Andrew smokes on the balcony until his stomach settles, and the stacks of products in the bathroom keep the house tangy and sweet.

It’s as comforting as it is disastrous to have everyone under one roof. Aaron revels in being the wrong note in a chord, and he sulks in the shade more often than not. Kevin pisses the upperclassmen off as consistently and methodically as he does everything else. Nicky overcompensates. Allison glares and primps and moves everyone around like furniture in a room she doesn’t care for. Neil is having the best time of his life.

The nights are long, and the foxes end up drunk through the day and into the sun-rich evening. You can’t turn your head without encountering a crushed can of palm bay or a questionable spill. The smell of booze and sun screen and sweat ripens the smoke and perfume.

They’re all gathered in the breezy main room, and the frothy white curtains sweep in with the sea air. Neil can’t stop noticing Andrew’s bare upper arms in his cut-off t-shirt. Nicky keeps laughing like he’s trying to cover a quotient that the rest of his group isn’t reaching. 

“Are you still drinking, buddy?” Matt asks, raising an empty shot glass as a question. Neil shrugs.

“I might have reached my limit for tonight.” He’s been keeping to the fringes of drunk, this week. Losing control still feels a bit like ripping tape off his mouth after he’s been stuck with it his whole life. A little skin comes off every time he gives away a secret, liberating and terrible.

He looks at Andrew, and Andrew shrugs.

“Don’t look at him, Neil, christ,” Matt groans. “It’s your body.”

Dan grins and smacks a kiss on Matt’s temple. “I love it when you talk bodily autonomy.”

Matt yanks her close around the waist and she laughs high and surprised, drink sloshing.

“I’ll bet Andrew knows Neil’s body better than he does anyway,” Allison says, eyes bright over her wine glass.

“Don’t be gross,” Dan says cheerfully.

“What, it’s probably true. Neil doesn’t even look in the mirror,” she says.

Nicky cracks up, and Dan shoves him. Neil looks sideways at Andrew, but he’s as uninterested as ever, one finger slipping lazy circles over the rim of his shot glass. His eyes are on the shoreline outside, and Neil wonders if he’s heard anything they’ve said.

“Enough of that,” Renee says smoothly. “We were playing sociables, remember?”

“We were playing sociables,” Nicky corrects. “You were drinking holy water, or whatever, while we have, you know. The devil’s liquor.” He lifts his bottle of tequila in apparent toast, and Matt lifts his beer gamely.

“Even so,” Renee says, smiling. “There’s half a deck left.”

Allison throws an arm around Renee’s shoulders, slouching naturally into her side. “Wouldn’t you rather see how many low blows it takes for Andrew to do something,” she stage whispers.

“No,” Renee says. Her expression is just a little bit sharp, the glint of a knife in a dark room.

“I’d rather drink,” Aaron interjects, looking bleary and red-eyed already.

“Then drink we shall,” Nicky announces. “Neil I’m pouring you a jäger bomb.”

“Jäger tastes like shit,” Andrew says suddenly, and Neil realizes stupidly that he’s been listening and cataloguing like he always does.

“Why do you care?” Dan asks. “You want his mouth kissable?”

“You want to die?” Andrew asks.

“Hey,” Matt says, defensive but too drunk to do anything about it.

Andrew stands and puts his shot glass down, unsettlingly quiet. Neil watches him walk from the room, barefoot and faintly sweaty from the lack of air conditioning and the bake of summer sun. Something in Neil gives way, one bracket on a shelf snapping so everything goes sliding. He very much wants to follow him.

“Not like he was contributing anyway,” Nicky says brightly, reaching across the sticky table for a card. They settle back into the swing of the game, and they cycle through rhyme time and two waterfalls before Matt flicks Neil on the shoulder and jerks his chin at the hall.

Andrew’s back in the doorway, hair wet from the shower. He watches Neil for a minute, and Neil watches back, more focused on Andrew for everything else being so loud. 

Andrew is quiet and still and half lit by the setting sun. He shifts his weight, almost imperceptible, and the handful of shots Neil let himself have roll over in his stomach.

“Come here.”

Neil stands immediately, quickly enough that Kevin spills his handle of vodka and Dan stops mid-anecdote.

“I’m going to bed,” Neil says, already picking his way over the debris of cards and shoes and open boxes of summery drinks.

“I bet you are,” Matt says, and Nicky makes a cracking whip noise. Neil ignores them both and joins Andrew in his pocket of darkness.

“I don’t know why we came,” Andrew says, turning into the stairway.

“Yeah you do,” Neil says. Andrew says nothing. They both know he does. They came here because Andrew would never let Neil or Kevin or Aaron be somewhere without him. They came because Neil asked.

They climb to their second floor room, and Andrew kisses Neil as soon as the door closes behind them, the tang of scotch on his tongue.

Neil only breaks away when Andrew tugs him back by his hair.

“I’m sober,” Neil says quickly. Andrew rolls his eyes.

“I’m not fucking you.”

Neil makes a disappointed noise in his throat. “Shame.” 

He smiles at the softness of Andrew’s face in the sunset. He looks young and uncomplicated like this. Someone caught in a moment of quiet rather than someone who lives in it.

Somewhere in the middle of Andrew’s indulgence, letting him look and graze his neck with his thumbs, Neil’s memory jolts. “I have something for you.”

Andrew’s eyes open a little more. It’s the most endearing shift from heavy-lidded to visibly focused, and Neil’s chest hurts. “I didn’t ask you for anything.”

“Wait,” Neil says, letting Andrew go so he can turn to their messy bed and side by side duffel bags.

He stoops and digs one hand into the bottom of his bag, patting blindly through twisted fabric until his fingers find something cool.

Andrew is closer when he rights himself, close enough that his crossed arms brush Neil’s front.

Neil holds the key in his fist, and regret clamps locks on his fingers and thickens his tongue.

“I met you two years ago,” Neil says quietly.

“We’re not doing this,” Andrew tells him. And he knew, he knew Andrew would take this as a hallmark anniversary gift and not the piece of Neil that it is.

“I’m not, I’m just.” He looks at his own clenched hand. “I’ve never been somewhere this long before. I celebrate my victories.”

“What victories?” Andrew asks, an insult or an actual question, Neil can’t tell.

“You,” Neil says simply. “This.” He opens his hand and reaches for Andrew’s. Andrew accepts the key without hesitation, and Neil’s skin goes hot with gratification.

“I didn’t think I had anything to give back to you,” Neil says. Andrew looks at him sharply. “But then I remembered this storage unit in Tulsa.”

Andrew’s eyes drop to follow the curves of the key, and Neil almost loses his train of thought.

“A lot of my past is in there. Everything that’s left of my mother. Some money. At least 100 secrets. I’m cashing them in,” he says, a smile starting and sputtering like an engine turning over.

Andrew’s hand twitches around the key. “How did you get this?”

“Stuart left it for me. We had hiding places all over, and he was close to one.” Neil watches Andrew turning and turning the key, expression impenetrable. “I don’t need whatever’s in there, anymore,” he finishes.

Andrew looks up at him, holding eye contact and dropping the key back into Neil’s bag. “I don’t want it.”

Neil’s gut pitches. “Why not?”

Andrew’s gaze wanders away, towards the window. “Your past is irrelevant.”

“I have nothing else to give,” Neil says hoarsely. The salt in the air smells like decay.

“You are wrong,” Andrew says, wandering to the bed and sitting.

“What, then?” He’d hunted for this key for two months. He remembers the storage locker like an unhealed wound his mother had bandaged and left to rot. This is the only key he has that isn’t a gift, but a memory.

“You,” Andrew says, eyes remote, hands open on the bedspread. “This.”

Neil’s breath walks clean out of his lungs. “Andrew,” he says, hushed, dark like unpolished wood.

“Making me work for your secrets is a cop out,” Andrew says, as Neil walks over to him with feet that feel twisted on backwards. “I’m not driving to Oklahoma because you’re emotionally repressed.”

“God,” Neil laughs. He kneels at the foot of the bed and puts himself between Andrew’s thighs when they part for him. He looks up at Andrew’s indifferent face and can’t believe he’s allowed the pleasure of being this close. “Are you sure you won’t fuck me?”

Andrew’s thighs tighten around his ribcage. “Yes.”

Neil puts his head down so his cheek ghosts over Andrew’s chest. “Tomorrow, maybe.” 

“Tomorrow,” Andrew agrees, and he threads one hand through Neil’s hair.

[senstia]

Neil or Andrew teasing- TEASING WAR :) (Andrew teasing by working out, Neil teasing by being shirtless in front of Andrew)

~the way i barely followed the prompt~

Andrew figured it probably wasn’t exactly normal to want to kill his boyfriend but well... here he was. Because what the fuck. What the FUCK was Neil wearing? How could he just look like that? It made Andrew want to strangle him, it made Andrew want to touch every inch of him. Goddamn he hated Neil so much.

The shorts were obscenely short. Short enough that when Neil bent down to stretch you could see the beginnings of his ass. And the shorts were tight too. Goddamn Neil. His ass. Jesus Christ. (Apologies Renee). Why the hell would he wear that shit to practice? Andrew was losing. his. mind. It was cruel really. Usually Andrew could reign his thoughts in pretty well but today he’d never been so on edge. He really couldn’t deal with this shit today.

“What the fuck Neil?” Andrew growled as he dragged Neil away from the rest of the team.

“What is it Drew?”

“Where the fuck did you get those shorts?”

“Oh all of mine were dirty so Nicky lent them to me.”

“Nicky did. Of course he did.”

“Drew its okay its not-“

“No. He sexually assaulted you and you weren’t sober at the time. I don’t care how long ago it was. He did that and now he’s deliberately putting you in clothes like that. He’s being predatory Neil.”

“Clothes like what? They’re just athletic shorts.”

Andrew laughed, “You really are stupid.”

“What do you mean?”

Andrew took a step closer to Neil, “You have no idea what those shorts do to me Neil.”

Neil’s eyes widened as he finally figured out what Andrew meant.

“Drew...” Neil said breathlessly.

“I can see every inch of you. And so can Nicky. Why do you think he wanted you to wear those?”

Neil blinked, “I don’t think he had bad intentions...”

“I don’t care. It’s not okay.”

Neil nodded, “I know. It’s not. But Drew?”

“Hmm?”

“You like them?” Neil asked, grinning.

Andrew rolled his eyes, “Maybe,” he said and walked off.

Andrew walked up and grabbed Nicky’s shirt by the collar.

“Would you like a knife in your gut?” Andrew asked pleasantly.

“Whatever I did i’m sorry! I’m sorry! Please don’t kill me!”

“I know you’ve had a hard on for Neil since the moment you met him but if you ever deliberately put him in clothes like that again just so you can watch, i’ll kill you. You’re lucky I haven’t told Erik about this.”

“A-Andrew its... its not like that! I swear! I was just having a little fun.”

“Well how about you stay away from him? Yes? Great thanks.” Andrew said humorlesslyand shoved Nicky away.

“Andrew. Nicky isn’t some predator. Come on...” Dan said.

“Oh dear Dan, don’t speak about things you don’t know about.” Andrew deadpanned.

Andrew turned to Nicky.

“Would you like to tell them or shall I?”

Nicky shook his head over and over, “Come on Andrew that was a long time ago, I didn’t... I’ve been to therapy about it alright?”

“Oh yes, the wonders of therapy. Which obviously haven’t helped since you like to put my boyfriend in slutty clothes every chance you get after you already sexually assaulted him in the past.”

“Woah woah woah, Nicky you what?” Matt said.

Neil walked up beside Andrew and looked to Nicky and the team.

“It was.. when I first got here. The first week when I went to Eden’s. They got me high and Nicky um.. he forced himself on me and kissed me a few times to get more drugs in my system.”

Before anyone could respond to that Neil went on, “I don’t... I’m not angry Nicky. Or anything like that. I don’t hold it against you. But Andrew is also right. It was something that you should not have done and it wasn’t okay. And yes I can be oblivious sometimes but you do kind of... dress me a bit risqué whenever you can.” Neil scratched at his head in discomfort but Andrew took a step closer to him in solidarity and he felt better.

“I-i’m so sorry Neil. I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable or cause you harm. Most of the time i’m just trying to be funny and I shouldn’t try to control what you wear. I’m sorry.”

“It’s oka-“Neil started to say but at Andrew’s glare he shut his mouth. Andrew turned to Nicky again.

“When Neil told me the details of what you did last week I wanted to bury a knife in your gut. You have him to think for my hesitation. Don’t fuck with him again or it won’t end so well next time.”

No one on the team had a response to that so Neil and Andrew walked silently off the court. Neil sat down gingerly next to Andrew on a bench in the locker room.

“Andrew?”

“It’s finished.”

Neil nodded in agreement and scooted closer to Andrew.

“Yes or no?” Neil asked softly.

Andrew pressed his lips to Neil in response, kissing him slowly. Neil pulled back and grinned, “I’m glad you like the shorts on me.”

Andrew flicked his nose, “Don’t tease.”

Neil giggled, “You’re allowed to tease me back...”

Andrew raised a brow, “Is that a challenge?”

Neil laughed softly and pecked Andrew on the cheek again, “I wouldn’t complain.”

( @leoisgayforwriting )

[ravenvsfox]

6: “Marry me” (part 2 from the 5/6 request, also andreil!)

It takes 4 months and 2 weeks to organize Matt’s proposal to Dan. 

Neil knows because he’s been pretending to understand most of what Matt says to him for 4 months and 2 weeks.

It’s not that he’s not happy for them, it’s just that being told to celebrate love feels like being told to celebrate the way the world turns, or the gravity that continues to pin us like the bar on a rollercoaster seat. Neil celebrates love by staying alive to see it. He celebrates it by keeping it.

He looks at prospective rings and says they’re fine over and over again. He dutifully tells Dan nothing even when she asks outright. He answers the phone when Matt calls him in a panic at midnight and says “what if she says no” so many times that Neil hands the phone to Nicky.

It does make him think though, about Andrew. Without meaning to.

He doesn’t think of it as marriage in his head (to Neil, marriage has always been something that swallows you like quick sand). Tying himself to Andrew though — having something legally binding like Neil Josten on his documents, like their names on the lease, like his contract with his team — that means something to Neil.

Being with Andrew is the thrill of being in the game, but having it on paper would be like points blinking onto a scoreboard. He knows he’s scoring now, but he wants the crowd to know too. He wants this win to stick.

He doesn’t mention it because it doesn’t matter, ultimately. Neil doesn’t need other people to tell him that they love each other.

Andrew scoops Sir off Neil’s lap and smuggles him to his side of the couch. He pours one bowl of sugar crisp and one bowl of granola in the morning. He catches Neil’s sleeve before he goes for a run and uses every ounce of 5 AM energy he has to hold Neil’s eyes. Neil knows how he feels.

But he really does support Matt and Dan, separate from the way he’s scared of hospital rooms he won’t be allowed into or the box on a form that labels them ‘roommates’ like that’s anywhere close to enough.

The engagement lines up with a weekend that all the original foxes are scheduled to meet up on, scraped together by Matt’s meticulous hands and Nicky’s constant phone calls.

Andrew isn’t interested in going, but Neil asks, so. They’re the first ones there.

Matt has booked this back room, and he has elaborate plans to get Dan’s stage sisters to meet with them, and Wymack’s been invited to sit at her right hand. Matt’s arranged for every piece of Dan’s family to be together in one room before he asks her.

When Neil walks in, Matt’s already pacing.

“What’s up with you?”

Matt’s head snaps up immediately and he sags at the sight of him. “Neil. I’m panicking.”

“And?”

Matt groans. “Help me! The table settings were supposed to be orange and white, I asked ahead.  I paid ahead. Romance is so fucking expensive.”

Neil shrugs, and Andrew walks in behind him. Matt gives him a cautious nod.

“Is she getting engaged to you or the place settings?” Andrew asks flatly, sitting down to rip the closest napkin into pieces. Matt’s face falls.

“You told him?”

Neil looks at Andrew, then back at Matt. “Obviously. Was I not supposed to?”

“No!” Matt hisses. He strides towards Neil so he has to look straight down to make eye contact. “He— do you think he gets social cues? He’ll tell Aaron or something, to spite me, and Katelyn will tell Allison, and…” He trails off, searching Neil’s blank look. “God, who am I talking to. Neither of you understand social cues.”

“I just don’t know what the big deal is,” Neil says, “she’s going to say yes.”

“Yeah, but still,” Matt says, and then he seems to realize what he’s said, and his expression changes. He touches fingers to his own smile. “She is going to say yes, isn’t she.”

“If she says no do you stop calling our landline in the middle of the night?” Andrew asks, chewing loudly on ice from his water glass.

Matt glares. “You’re really testing my patience, monster.”

Neil flashes him a look. “I thought you agreed not to call him that.”

Matt waves his hand like he’s patting the flame of Neil’s annoyance out. “It’s an endearing nickname.”

“You’re full of shit,” Neil says, but his mouth twitches.

Allison arrives next, cracking both of the double doors open with Renee on her arm, sunglasses perched on her nose, a cool little smile on her face. She launches directly into an onslaught of questions like she always does, keeping her lead in the still-active betting pool without breaking a sweat.

It’s a trickle of less cool entrances after that: Aaron and Katelyn, who take the seats farthest away from Andrew (but Aaron lets go of her hand to make hushed conversation with his brother), Nicky and Erik, golden-tanned, chattering instantly about their cross USA vacation. Kevin, who arrives with his current team’s jersey on, looking unreasonably severe. He sits next to Andrew and eyes his plate, quietly judgemental. Neil half expects him to start running drills.

Dan walks in late with Wymack in tow — who looks as sheepish as she does pleased.

“You didn’t tell me coach was coming!” Dan says, letting go of Wymack’s hand so she can kiss Matt hello. “I found him loitering in the parking lot.”

Matt shoots him an alarmed look and Wymack shrugs helplessly. “I had to mentally prepare for a room full of you lunatics.”

“It was a surprise,” Matt blurts. “The only surprise.” He laughs awkwardly and Dan feels his forehead.

“Babe, planning events is not good for you.”

Dinner is therapeutic; the conversation plummets almost instantly back to the way it was in the depths of their first year together. Ride or die, no topic off limits, exy underpinning it all. He watches the way everyone is freer with their laughter and more indulgent with their food. They’re not on the court, but the connections feel the same, old, solid, blindly trusting.

“Marry me.”

Neil looks up. Everyone’s stopped with their forks full and wavering, eyes flitting between faces in confusion. Andrew calmly swirls the sauce on his plate with his fork, watching Neil.

“What?” Neil says, throat dry.

“No way,” Matt says from the head of the table. Someone shushes him.

“Yes or no?” Andrew asks.

“Yes,” Neil says, knee-jerk. Then something upends in his chest like everything’s being shaken out of a drawer. “Wait. Seriously?”

Andrew inclines his head.

“You can’t,” Matt says pathetically, and he gets more aggressively shushed. Neil thinks Dan’s doing the shushing.

“Yeah,” Neil breathes again. “Okay. I will.” He looks up and Erik’s hands are clapped over Nicky’s mouth, with Nicky’s on top of them. Aaron looks like he’s taken a wrong exit and he’s trying to find a street sign.

Neil can see the side profiles of the restaurant staff and Dan’s stage sisters huddled in the hallway, waiting to be called in to surprise her. He remembers faintly that there was supposed to be confetti. Andrew reaches up and tugs on his hair.

“Good.”

He wants to feel bad for upstaging Matt’s plans, he does, but he’s so exhilarated that all his blood feels like it’s in his head. Marry me. Like Andrew had been thinking about it. Like he couldn’t help asking.

Everyone goes quiet, and then Katelyn says ‘congratulations’ with a question mark at the end of it. Andrew ignores her, and Neil looks up with his lips pursed. He doesn’t want to be congratulated. He wants to go to the town hall the second the cheque is paid.

Everyone clatters to say something that will stick, Erik has to fight to keep Nicky’s voice contained, and Matt makes a long, wounded sound before he gets down on one knee. “Second place is gonna have to do.”

Dan sort of screams, there’s an absurd pop when she stoppers her own mouth with her hand.

“No way,” someone whispers. “What is happening.”

“I guess I’ve gotta get used to being second. You know. Living with number 1 for the rest of my life,” Matt says, and flashes Dan a sweetly nervous smile. If Neil’s head weren’t on backwards he might be touched by it all. Andrew’s on-the-fly proposal going off like a bomb before fireworks, and Matt just treating it like new material.

Everyone else at the table looks like they’re being elaborately pranked: Katelyn and Erik keep looking at each other like this is an inside joke that they’re missing. Wymack has his head in his hands, but Neil thinks that might have more to do with Dan’s shit-eating grin while she’s being proposed to.

“Getting second place is still losing,” Andrew says airily. Allison glares at him but Neil privately agrees. If you get second place in exy, you’re the worst team. Matt ignores them all, cupping Dan’s hands and making sly jokes. Neil watches him gush, watches Dan’s cheeks glow and her smile hitch further up her face.

She gasps when her stage sisters sway into the room, each holding part of the ‘will you marry me’ on signs. The restaurant staff come in with trays of champagne and Dan muffles the actual question in Matt’s mouth with an enthusiastic kiss.

She pulls back and squishes his cheeks in one hand. “Obviously.” She looks over Matt’s shoulder at Neil, one brow cocked “And that’s how you accept a proposal, Josten.”

Half the table laughs, and the weird tension breaks open like the the guts of a pomegranate. Neil shrugs. He can’t stop looking at Andrew out of the corner of his eye, still and golden in the late afternoon sun. He doesn’t really think there’s a right way to propose or be proposed to. There’s a question and then there’s a yes, and no one’s better at that than Andrew and Neil.

It’s a whirlwind of orange confetti and lilies and hugs after that. Neil gives up any pretence of being interested in it after his first half hour of standing around with champagne, being crush-hugged by Matt and Dan at the same time. He looks at Andrew so frequently that Dan bodily hip checks him into his chair. It’s worth it for the way his eyes snap immediately to Neil’s, a whistling blade finding its target.

“Let’s get out of here,” Neil says lowly, and Andrew tilts his head.

“What’s in it for me?”

“Scintillating conversation with your husband to be,’ Neil says. Andrew considers this with unusually warm eyes.

“I suppose you’re not going to let it go if I don’t?”

“When do I ever let things go?”

Andrew caves after a second, standing and sweeping coolly from the room. Neil tries to tone down the way his whole body is burning, and follows him out into the body of the restaurant.

They step outside into drizzling flash rain, the sun peeking coyly behind the clutch of clouds.

Andrew lights a cigarette under the overhang from the roof, blond eyelashes doubly lit by sunshine and fire, and the contrast of the sweet warm rain haloing everything. Neil kisses him before he can take a second drag. Andrew responds without hesitation, and Neil lets himself be plied with the warm pull of it, like a ship being lulled to its home harbour.

“You asked me to marry you.”

“Astute,” Andrew says, and lifts the hand that isn’t on Neil’s neck to his own mouth, inhaling smoke. He blows it out low, over Neil’s face, with the ribbon of it curling and beckoning between them.

“And it wasn’t just a piss-off-Matt tactic?”

“I didn’t say that.” His clever hands disappear the lighter to somewhere Neil can’t see. He lets go of Neil and steps back into the dip of the wall.

“But you want it,” Neil says, “You’ve thought about it, and you want it. Me.”

Andrew looks away with his cigarette poised at his mouth, but not close enough to smoke. “Not if you keep asking stupid questions.”

Neil smiles to himself. Then he smiles at Andrew. Then he smiles at the sky. “We have to get married at the foxhole court,” he says, just to see what Andrew will do, if it’ll coax that lightness into his eyes again.

“You’ll be going to the reception in a body bag,” Andrew replies neatly, taking another lungful of smoke and letting it creep from the pocket of his mouth without blowing it anywhere. Neil has to kiss him again.

“Too bad. We had a good stretch there for a bit,” he says against Andrew’s mouth.

Andrew doesn’t correct him, and that’s when Neil knows with certainty that it’s real.

“It is a practicality,” Andrew says, after a minute.

“It’s forever,” Neil tells him, stealing his cigarette just so Andrew will look at him. He does.

“Nothing is forever.”

“Maybe not,” Neil agrees. “But I’ve learned that the more connections you make, the harder it is to cut them all off. That’s how you survive.”

“Your insistence on infusing every situation with your tragic backstory is exhausting.”

Neil smiles privately. “I’ve heard it’s pretty interesting.”

“You were lied to.”

Neil leans his side up against the wall so he can watch Andrew close up. “Andrew.” There’s a brush of eye contact between them, like the jolt of a live wire, and Neil hums. “I told you it was always going to be a yes.”

Andrew looks out into the veil of rain and steals his cigarette back without looking. “I couldn’t just count on that.”

“Well. Count on it now.”

Andrew looks back at Neil with eyes that are 50 feet deep, a face like a piece of art that unsettles you so much that you fall in love with it. “Okay.”