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mwagneto · 2 years ago

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Just saw your post about the many sherlock holmes adaptations and their problems and wanted to ask, what do you think are the worst and best adaptations + your opinion on the bbc show vs guy ritchie’s adaptation

PHEW okay big question. so in my personal opinion my favourite adaptation is the ritchie one and my least favourite is bbc. objectively speaking the worst ones are ... well there's a lot I'm ngl I'm very picky but probably Holmes & Watson, the absolute trainwreck that some cruel force allowed to be made and released in 2018 which is awful in every single way like it's genuinely unwatchable. Granada/the Jeremy Brett one is probably the most faithful, but i think Murder by decree and Without a clue are great takes on it, and of course The private life of SH is iconic and Russian Holmes is close to my heart because the locations and architecture etc look really similar to where i live so it's really special that way. (i actually have a tierlist of almost every adaptation I've seen, there's been more since but I've been too lazy to update it lmao)

putting this under a cut because it got LONG

i think there's several layers to what makes an adaptation great, like to ME the most important thing is that they nail the h&w dynamic, either by using the one in the books or by making it clear that they understood what the dynamic was and chose to put a different spin on it but like. if they're not obviously "can't live without each other" friends and (at least) a little bit gay then what's the point. also with modern adaptations there's smtg I've literally only seen done right ONE time, which is Holmes's drug use where everyone adapting it to the 21st century insists on keeping it cocaine or smtg similar? which, like, no????? like ppl don't seem to realise that when he was written, cocaine was like. perfectly acceptable. and Watson still worries about it because he's a doctor but that's in no way equivalent to someone NOW using cocaine and their doctor friend worrying. there's that super old post that's like "modern holmes should be addicted to energy drinks" and well yeah. absolutely that, or the way House md solved it by having him be addicted to painkillers that he gets in a kinda shady way sometimes.

n then obviously there's the cases. again this is an opinion but i think it's good when they're straight up adapted, and i think it's good when they invent a brand new mystery, but i absolutely cannot Stand when they take an existing case from the books but put their own ~special smart boy~ spin on it cough cough MOFFAT like the worst examples of this are probably the way he butchered Baskerville and ASIB because he thought he was sooo much smarter than everyone and couldn't just adapt these extremely iconic stories straight up, nonono let's make them a billion times worse.

as for Ritchie vs BBC, i don't really think i can compare them, simply because I can't be objective? like the rdj holmes movies are easily among my favourite movies of all time, not because they're so outstandingly good but simply because I'm so attached to them, while even a mention of BBC can send me into feral dog mode. not to mention my history w them is 1. complicated 2. inherently tied to each other so yeah i don't think an objective comparison from me is really possible, at least if i want to avoid making this response a 10 hour read. but umm if i wanna go by key points:

1. i think rdj absolutely nails the h&w dynamic while bbc completely butchers it

2. rdj kinda expands his drug use but i think it works rly well with the kinda person his holmes is, i fucking hate the way bbc treats his drug use and the only slightly nice moment about it was in the unaired pilot that. well. didn't air

3. i haaaaate the way rdj handles irene and i fucking. despise beyond words the way bbc handles irene. i dont think i have ever seen irene adapted well it's fucking miserable

4. i think the cases in rdj are... fine? they're not good tbh as in like if i was here for a mystery I wouldn't really like it BUT they're original and written in a way where they give you, the viewer, all the clues that Holmes has, so you have the ability to figure out the solutions along with him, which is crucial to any sh adaptation (and mystery in general). it's also camp and fun and ridiculous which i really like so yea no complaints from me. bbc on the other hand. god. jesus. well i mentioned this before but i fucking hate the way they adapt every story to be almost the same but way way worse because they think they're so much smarter than the books AND the viewers. and this segways into

5. aka their treatment of watson. i fawking love rdj watson i think he's one of the best watsons out there and i like him coz of his whole attitude and personality but i also think he's written extremely well in that so often adaptations fall into the trap i mentioned in the other post where they think holmes is the smartest specialest boy ever and they're just like him fr and he doesn't need anyone so watson is either just some useless guy trying and failing to keep up with holmes or a straight up punching bag. but here they actually make Watson not just competent but absolutely indispensable to both Holmes and the story, it's clear that Holmes both relies on him in things he doesn't know as well as Watson does (crucial!!!!!) and trusts him (watson) to figure things out almost as well as he (holmes) can which i think are incredibly good and important things to put in an adaptation because at the end of the day it's holmes and watson not holmes and some guy who's sometimes there to be talked at and not understand things. which of course brings me to bbc where . literally the only thing john does is get kidnapped like he's barely even there for the cases let alone HELP in any way. so yeah.

this could go on to be incredibly long because i am. absolutely insane about sherlock holmes but I'm gonna end it here, if you have any questions feel free to ask, i (evidently) really love talking about them so

#THIS TOOK ME AN HOUR TO WRITE??? HOLY FUCK #one day i WILL make that video essay and then you'll see. you will all see #i got mail!#sherlock holmes #sh stuff #acd canon #rdj sherlock #sh reviews

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buckleyirondad · 5 years ago

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Iron Man 3 is honestly one of the best MCU movies. It doesn't get spoken about enough. It took a sensitive and necessary approach to represent Tony’s anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder. RDJ’s acting was realistic and absolutely wonderful. Sometimes it’s rare for Hollywood to hit the nail on the head but they did with this.

I see and hear people berate this film to this day, some even complaining about the plot concentrating on Tony’s anxiety. It drives me crazy. I was 13 when it was released. The month before my best friend died unexpectedly. I started to have panic attacks; I thought something was wrong with me and didn’t tell anyone what was happening. Then I saw this movie in theatres with my family and realised that it is a perfectly normal response to grief and trauma.

Seeing a superhero that you look up to, battle with things that you do, makes the weight of the world seem a little bit lighter.

#iron man 3 #tony stark #robert downey jr #shane black #liberty's weird and wonderful text posts #just saw someone on facebook say this is the worst marvel movie.#so...like i do...i got all defensive and decided to write about it on here

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askikamle · 4 years ago

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The Holmes I Never Knew Existed

4 of 5 stars

Well, obviously, I am not as huge a fan of Sherlock as I thought I was. I have only read a few books and none of the ones I read mentioned anything about Enola. Or the series or the movies (ones with RDJ) or did they mention her? Hmmm. 🤔

I'm quite partial to Benedict Cumberbatch's Sherlock series. So, expectedly, the biggest disappointment I had with this one was with Henry Cavill. They say it's a different take on Sherlock Holmes' character. But I still don't buy it. Not gonna spoil this one as I'm still trying to convince friends to watch it too. In a nutshell:

Watch it for:

- I don't think anyone ever really took note of how on point Sam Claflin played the role of Mycroft. You need only to watch a clip of Mark Gatiss to know why I said this.

- The amazing chemistry between Enola and Viscount Tewksbury Marquess of Basilwether (that is a mouthful haha)

- The Tom Sawyer/Huckleberry Finn level of adventure and fun and humor

- Millie Bobby Brown nailing the Enola Holmes character and making it hers. Can't imagine anyone else playing the role better

- Helena Bonham Carter (that's it, no other point needed for this one)

The only letdown for me:

- Like I said, Henry Cavill is so good in The Witcher that I can't even fault his acting, but the way they tackled Sherlock's character in this one is just - uhm, no thank you.

I think how all my reasons to watch it outweigh that one reason why you shouldn't perfectly captures my take on this one: Watch it anyway 😁😜

#EnolaHolmes

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#enola holmes #sherlock holmes #mycroft holmes #moviereview #netflix #millie bobbie brown #Henry cavill #Sam claflin #Movie review #Instagram

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citrucentric · 4 years ago

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Cranberry

The ideal Holmes is tall and dark with sharp edges and an intelligent look to him, but also posh and with a sense that you could fold him into origami if you really tried. Dresses well, but wouldn’t look out of place sprawled dramatically over a couch in a dressing gown with a pipe and surrounded by drug paraphernalia. Once made a pillow fort and sat in it to think. Caught somewhere between handsome, pretty, and weird looking. Emphasis can be on any of the three. CANNOT have facial hair.

Holmes Adaptations

S-Tier

Miss Sherlock (Yuko Takeuchi) - 95%

You’ll notice, of course, that nowhere in the earlier description did I say Holmes needed to be white, a man, or even human. None of those qualifiers or the lack-thereof prevent someone from looking the part -- it simply becomes necessary to compare them to the characters around them. And when I picture a female Sherlock Holmes, Yuko Takeuchi embodies the exact image in my mind. Her sharp edges, piercing eyes, and impeccable fashion, along with the powerful weird energy she brings to the role, fit Sherlock perfectly. She does look more than a bit like she could kick my ass, but more in the manner she dominates the room, which is perfect for the character.

Sherlock Holmes (Jeremy Brett) - 85%

I haven’t watched this adaptation, though I’ve been meaning to get around to it. So this ranking is based solely on screenshots and promotional images. And honestly, as ugly as i find this guy, he totally nails it. He even kind of looks like the illustrations in the stories. I won’t give him a perfect score because his hair could be darker and his face is a little small, and there’s just barely something missing. But as far as “canon” Holmes adaptations go, he’s the cream of the crop.

A-Tier

Sherlock: The Abominable Bride (Benedict Cumberbatch) - 80%

Definitely the more accurate of the two Cumberbatch Holmes designs, the sleek fashion and slicked back hair complement Cumberbatch’s angular build and “somewhere between pretty and just weird” face. He’s tall, dark, and posh. If there’s anything holding him back it’s simply that even dressed up properly, there’s something still a bit modern looking about him.

Fate/Grand Order - 78%

Given that his design and presentation are a direct reference to both Brett and Cumberbatch’s portrayals, it’s a given he’d place so highly. It’s really hard to nail down a 2D Holmes, especially in the anime style this game employs, since it has a tendency to prettify characters by default. True to form, FGO Holmes is far neater and more precise than I’d like. But he’s by no means a bad design, and depending on the image he can really hit the spot for me; he’s definitely a chart topper in the realm of 2D Holmes.

Sherlock Holmes: The Furtive Festivity (Gregory Johnstone) - 75%

There aren’t many Holmes that we only get to see as an old man, in no small part due to the ACD estate’s notoriously malicious copyright practices. Johnstone ranks so highly not due necessarily to the details of his look, but the overall feel he embodies. This Holmes is soft, affectionate, more than a little floppy. His hair and costume portray a man well grown into his eccentric life, and his face is sharp and mature enough to suggest the brains underneath; even if that’s more wisdom than intelligence in this particular story. This is a Holmes designed by someone who really loves Sherlock Holmes, and it definitely shows.

BBC Sherlock (Benedict Cumberbatch) - 75%

Cumberbatch’s features still naturally suit Holmes well, and he’s tall and striking enough to cover the rest. But this isn’t a rating of his acting performance aside from the visuals it supplies; it’s hard to modernize Holmes, especially since it makes perfect sense for Holmes to gel well with the changing times; he was always a man ahead of his era. BBC Holmes’s trademark trenchcoat and curly locks aren’t traditional Holmes, but they suit him well enough.

Yuukoku no Moriarty - 73%

The long hair is an unorthodox take, but I'm certainly not complaining. YnM's Holmes definitely nails the youthful scientific exuberance of an early Holmes. It's clear they were going for a sort of BBC/ACD mix, but with their own spin. Pretty -- he is an anime boy, after all -- but all sharp edges and full of energy. Decent, way better than most anime Holmes designs manage.

B-Tier

Basil of Baker Street [The Great Mouse Detective] - 70%

Comparing the character to those around them is especially important when it comes to non-human characters, who naturally don’t have the same features. Putting Basil next to Dawson makes this abundantly clear, as they make a perfect portrait of Holmes and Watson. For a mouse, he’s thin, angular, even a little ratlike; all decisions that suit Holmes well. I have some complaints about his ensemble, though; while the dressing gown suits him well, his normal brown coat and hat don’t work so well with his fur; the monochrome look makes him come off a bit scruffy and unrefined.

A Study in Black - 68%

Rules are made to be broken, they say; here’s a Holmes with well maintained facial hair and who’s shorter than Watson, and yet I can without question say they were the right decisions. This Holmes takes a very different design approach than any other on this list, even the other modern takes, but he embodies the spirit of Holmes much more than if he’d tried to match every detail. Holmes is still gaunt and striking, eccentric and fashionable. He looks absolutely great.

The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes (Robert Stephens) - 62%

Stephens in this role is, I have to say, far too soft. But he’s playing a different sort of Holmes, and I can’t resist keeping him here. There are some parts of the look he has down; he certainly looks high class, and the softer elements of Holmes’ character look good on him. Holmes’ traditional costume, the hat and coat, look out of place on him. But that suits the message of the film, and may very well have been intentional.

C-Tier

Dai Gyakuten Saiban - 58%

Not the only blond Holmes on this list, but it doesn’t suit him as poorly. From a character design standpoint, it looks very good. As a Holmes, it’s unorthodox. He’s not gonna be a chart topper with it, but I wouldn’t rule it out. This Holmes’ real problem isn’t his coloration, merely that he’s much too conventionally attractive. His jaw is a bit too wide, curls a bit too lovely, the peek of lavender under his coat a bit too rich, and I can’t look at him for too long without blushing. Do some cocaine and get back to me.

Sherlock Holmes (Basil Rathbone) - 55%

Now, this one might be controversial. I don’t think Rathbone Holmes looks very good. I can’t put my finger on why; his head is the right shape, his nose very sharp, though his face looks very smooth and he seems overall vaguely packed in. Like he was plucked out of the sky just before walking on set. The shapes are all right, it just seems off to me. I guess what I’m getting is that his look is too obviously produced. He looks too much like an actor portraying Holmes, rather than Holmes. But I know he’s gonna be the guy a lot of people swear by, so I won’t defend this placement too hard.

Sherlock Hound - 45%

Really, what is up with the monochrome design on some of these cartoons. Sherlock Hound has the darker hat to make up for it, though, so it’s a little better. Applying the same rubric as Basil to him... doesn’t get the same results. As far as I can tell, this just looks like a normal dog. And a scruffy light-furred one, at that. There’s a contrast between him and Watson, sure, but it could’ve been pushed further. At the end of the day this is an average guy dressed as Sherlock.

D-Tier

Herlock Sholmes [Code: Realize] - 40%

This is a very pretty anime boy. I’d pick him first in whatever dating sim this is. ...Wait, this is supposed to be Holmes? How can you tell? Look, I know it’s hard to make an anime boy Holmes. Holmes’ key design elements aren’t his costume or his hair, they’re the things that make him unpolished. And anime dating sim boys don’t like to be unpolished. But really, this is just a steampunk boy who likes tea. Nothing here reads as Holmes to me.

Sherlock Holmes (Robert Downey Jr.) - 35%

Now, I love this movie. RDJ got me back into Sherlock Holmes when I was younger. And as this character, he has a very specific and well designed look. ...Does that look gel with canon Holmes? I don’t think so. He’s rough, he’s scruffy, he’s short and wide and strong-jawed, and he refuses to go for a clean shave. I like him a lot, but he’s not very Holmesian. He does, however, nail the eccentricity and his costume design works for him well. I do like a messy Holmes. So I won’t go any lower than this.

F-Tier

Basil [Blush Blush] - 28%

So, he’s got the outfit. There’s that. But otherwise... This is just some soft ugly anime boy cosplaying Sherlock Holmes. He doesn’t have a single trait that works in his favor. On top of that, he’s got the same problem the other Basil on this list had -- the all monochrome light brown just looks weird, and not Holmesian at all. And this boy doesn’t have the excuse of literally being a mouse. This is just an ugly design.

Elementary (Jonny Lee Miller) - 25%

Now, I've only watched a few scattered episodes of Elementary. Partially because I'm morally opposed to shows that only gender-flip half of the duo, partially because I’m absolutely outraged by the travesty they made Moriarty. But this isn’t a bad character, per-se.

But, like, this is just some dude. This isn't Holmes.

Sherlock Holmes [Clue] - 23%

I love Clue so much. That probably doesn’t surprise anyone. I have the season pass in this game, which automatically gives me every DLC character they add for free. So I was super excited to hear there was gonna be a Sherlock crossover. ...But this is just ugly. Another light haired square-jawed monochrome asshole pretending to be my favorite character. There’s nothing Holmes about this. (The rest of the designs in the pack are no better, but this isn’t about them.)

Skylar Holmes [Blossom Detective Holmes] - 20%

Now, Blossom Detective is a show that I famously disliked so much I immediately sat down and screenwrote my own Holmes cartoon on the spot. And Skylar certainly feels like she should be in the “part 2″ of this list, but a Holmes she is.

She's cute and she accessorizes well, but she's just not Sherlock Holmes by any stretch.

Sherlock Shellingford [Milky Holmes] - 10%

Now, look how cute she is! Sherlock Shellingford, present and accounted for. She’s got TWO Sherlock names so you know she’s the real deal. Now, this is just an objectively good design. She's exactly what she needs to be to serve the role she plays!

And that isn't Sherlock Holmes. Sorry.

Holmes & Watson (Will Ferrell) - 0%

Get out of my house.

Holmes Archetypes

Not all Holmes’ are meant to be the Canonical Sherlock Holmes, of course; some are just neat references, or characters who naturally fit into his role whether the author intended it or not. Let’s address them here, and remember that not looking the part doesn’t really reflect negatively on these ones as they’re stand-alone.

S-Tier

Dylan Reinhart [Instinct] (Alan Cumming) - 90%

Dylan is so point for point Sherlock Holmes that it’s hard to call him an archetype and not a straight adaptation, or possibly a rip-off if I’m being harsh. But I’m not supposed to be rating him by portrayal, just looks - and he’s really good. He’s the exact right blend of weird looking, though not as angular as he should be. His sharp eyebrows and nose and high hairline work fantastic, and he wears a suit very well. He’s a perfect little bundle of posh and nerves, and though he’s not perfect the fact that this isn’t actually supposed to be canon Sherlock Holmes makes this placement very unsurprising. He wouldn’t look out of place on the other list.

Hubert von Vestra [Fire Emblem: Three Houses] - 85%

Oh? What’s that? You don’t think Hubert von Vestra is a Sherlock Holmes archetype? Okay, then explain to me why he uses the word “sentiment” exactly twice in his supports. Atheists 1, Church of Seiros 0. Anyway. Let’s start with the obvious. Hubert looks like Benedict Cumberbatch. But, he looks like a vampire Benedict Cumberbatch who did a lot more cocaine. And if you don’t think Sherlock Holmes should look like a vampire, youre lying.

A-Tier

None yet. Please submit your Holmes and I will add them.

B-Tier

Heinwald [Dragalia Lost] - 67%

I would never look at this design and think "well, that's Sherlock Holmes". Heinwald looks more like a zombie or the bride of Frankenstein, very Halloween. His look being so specific does come at the expense of his Holmesness, but he's still got more than a few traits down and he’s an absolute treat.

L Lawliet [Death Note] - 65%

This is a very, very weird looking man. Key points: dark hair and eyes. gaunt, sharp, and mostly angular (though with a softer face). Extremely foldable. This man could 100% pass for Holmes, if someone else was dressing him. Put him in a suit, comb his hair? Yeah. It’d really work. But until then, he’s just most of the way there.

Kyoko Kirigiri [Danganronpa] - 63%

Kirigiri really gets jilted here, because she could be much higher. Unfortunately, she has to be part of a series that with only a few exceptions just reuses the same face and body for most of its female characters. Kirigiri definitely has the sharp and focused feel she needs to pass for Holmes, and she dresses well. The white hair is the opposite of the dark he usually touts, but it’s striking. Unfortunately, put her next to any other character in her series, and she blends back in.

Miles Edgeworth [Ace Attorney] - 60%

Feels a little weird to put Edgeworth on here when the actual Sherlock Holmes is in his game, but he fits the character much better if not the narrative role. So let’s go over the looks. His jaw is a bit wide, but he’s very pointy, and I certainly have never gotten the impression he’s a physically strong man. He’s very fashionable, and with his big cravat and sharp hair he makes a cutting silhouette. I’d say he needs a bit more to really nail the look, though.

C-Tier

Will Graham [Hannibal] (Hugh Dancy) - 45%

Despite being a noted Hannibal Lecter fan and possible homosexual, I still haven’t watched Hannibal. I’m taking people at their word that Will is a Sherlock; I definitely would have assumed otherwise looking at him. He reminds me deeply of BBC’s John Watson, and it’s hard to see anything else. But I don’t hate his look; he reads as clever, he looks good in darks, and I wouldn’t complain to see him cast as Holmes. He’s better than some of the lower-tiered canon Holmes actors, anyway.

Ranpo Edogawa [Bungo Stray Dogs] - 40%

This is another submission, and I don’t know who this boy is. I really doubt he’s actually a Holmes, given that he’s named after a real non-Doyle writer, but I was begged to include him. Let’s go. I really like his outfit. He’s got an aesthetic I like. Is it Holmes’? No. This kid looks like he’d fit way better as a Baker Street Irregular; maybe he should audition.

D-Tier

Gregory House (Hugh Laurie) - 35%

Take everything I said for Robert Downey Jr, and just mess up his hair a bit more. House is scruffy, poorly put together, and not wearing anything that costs over $100. As a Holmes, he’d work as one of his disguises; I wouldn’t be super surprised if this guy suddenly cleaned up and looked the part -- but it would take a lot of cleaning. I love his look, though -- again, he isn’t trying to be canon. House is an explicit Holmes parallel, but he’s still his own character.

F-Tier

Walnut Cookie [Cookie Run] - 20%

Given how much “Holmes costume” and “Detective costume” are conflated, it’s possible this gingerbread baby isn’t even supposed to be a Holmes reference, but I’ll take her. She’s an excellent design - but a standalone one. Shes too soft, warm, and curly looking to pull off canon Holmes.

#cranberry #fruit #sherlock holmes #the holmes scale

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captainchrisfics · 5 years ago

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Oh, Baby

About: After finding out she’s pregnant with Chris Evans’s baby less than a year into their relationship, the first person pov narrator looks for comfort and advice from their fellow MCU cast members. Unbeknownst to her, Chris notices she’s shut him out and decides to confront her at the same time that she plans on letting him in.

Word Count: 4,070

Requested by: Anon

“Hey, I need to talk to you guys,” I said, trying to keep my voice level though I was sure I didn’t hide the panic in my eyes very well. Sebastian Stan stood outside his trailer, leaning against the wall while talking to Brie Larson. Exactly the two people I wanted to see. I was elated, just enough of a little thing going right can be enough of a relief. They were my fire extinguisher found in the middle of a blaze.

That was until they both turned, revealing Chris sitting behind them in a folding chair poised perfectly as if it was meant to keep him out of my view. Sometimes you realize the fire extinguisher is empty and you’re still utterly fucked, for lack of a better term. “Hey, babe,” Chris perked up with a smile, standing to greet me. He was in his Captain America costume, filthy from a fake battle with Thanos. That didn’t stop him from planting a kiss on my lips, which planted a dreadful anxiety that stemmed from the bottom of my nervous stomach. Chris pulled away, leaving my face sutty with makeup. “Hey,” I responded, hearing the high-pitched lilt in my voice.

Chris’s smile dropped for a moment the same way my heart did. “What’s wrong?” he inquired sweetly, reaching out to hold my hand in comfort. He played with my fingers, lacing our hands together. When I pulled away, Chris looked at me with pleading eyes while I wiped my sweaty hands on my jeans. “Nothing,” I asserted too forcibly. “Just need to talk to Seb and Brie about our scene,” I recovered quickly with the first excuse that came to mind. “That’s not in my script,” Chris said with a slight frown, sure that he’d gotten the actual one from the Russo’s instead of one of the many full of misleading scenes for the sake of spoilers.

I hated lying to Chris, but I just couldn’t tell him yet. So I shrugged, trying to find some kind of elaboration as to why I’d need to talk to them about a scene that didn’t actually exist until Brie got the hint.

“It’s in mine,” she corroborated my story. “Same here,” Sebastian followed our lead, his eyes darting between us before nodding reassuringly at Chris. My boyfriend shrugged it off, letting me off the hook this time. Still, it was clear he didn’t take the bait entirely by the suspicious look in his eyes, calculating how much innocence I’d need to be proven guilty.

Chris hesitated for a beat too long before leaning in to peck my cheek, choosing not to fight this battle right now. “Have fun then. Love you,” he said with a controlled smile. I nodded my head, picking my nails uneasily and failing to listen enough to realize I should’ve replied. Instead, I turned and walked away with Seb and Brie in tow.

Although we’ve only been working together on Endgame for a short time, Brie and I were fast friends. There weren’t many women around, so we were incredibly close. As for Seb, we’d been best friends since we met filming The Winter Soldier. Now, on the set of the last installment of our MCU era, we were all trying to make the most of it. Constantly around and hanging out together, even if all of us weren’t even filming that day, which I was more grateful for now than ever.

The three of us walked stiffly back to my trailer where we could talk privately, but even once we were there I couldn’t seem to push any words passed the boulder in my throat. Sebastian and Brie sat across from me over the small kitchen island, staring at me expectantly.

“Is everything alright?” Seb finally asked softly, reaching across the counter to hold my hand. He rubbed small circles on the back of my hand with his thumb, patient eyes on me while my mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. I gave up on speaking and instead pushed the two positive pregnancy tests I’d kept hidden in my pocket over the counter. I never thought something as small as the little, white plastic sticks could be so earth-shattering. That something so tiny, just a handful duplicating cells at this point, could feel so heavy.

Brie held one up as if she was checking that she was seeing clearly. I didn’t believe it either, but the second, faint pink line was really there. “If this is part of that prank war, I’m going to kill you,” Seb said incredulously, his hand holding mine falling limp as his jaw hit the floor.

“I wish it was,” I said with a dry laugh, tears starting to prickle the corners of my eyes. “I went to the doctor today. I’m only around six weeks along, but she took this anyway just to make sure.” I slid the sonogram across the counter. It was too early to see much other than the dark gap in the middle of my organ, hosting a blurry ring of white so small the nurse drew a silver Sharpie arrow to point it out.

Brie just sat looking at me dazed as if she thought this was a dream. “Do you know what you’re going to do?” she asked. She was careful when picking up the picture, holding it daintily from the edges.

“I don’t know,” I confessed. Saying it out loud made it that much more of a reality. I didn’t know what I was going to do. “I’m sorry to dump this on you guys like this. I-” I stopped when my voice cracked, choking back the tears threatening to fall. “I just didn’t know who else to talk to. I mean, I want to tell Chris so badly. I want him to be happy. But what if…” My voice kept growing quiet until it ceased, trailing off before I could indulge my newfound fears that simultaneously became my deepest. What if he isn’t? What if he didn’t want it? What if he didn’t want me? What if this ruins everything?

“If I’m sure of one thing,” Brie said, calm as you always cross your fingers in hope the sea will be, something I found comfort in. “Chris loves you. Tremendously and unconditionally. That counts for so much,” she assured with contagious confidence. Seb agreed with a nod of his head. “You know we’re always here for you and he is, too. Honestly,” Sebastian said with a stiff upper lip, “I think he’ll be over the moon.”

“We haven’t been together very long,” I said in protest, chewing on my bottom lip with anxiety. Although Chris and I have known each other for years, it wasn’t until only a handful of months ago we started dating. It was one of the many cards I realized were stacked against us as I stared at those sticks for what felt like forever as if they held the key to all of this. “What if he isn’t ready to do this yet? What if he doesn’t want to do it with me?” I spit out before I could decide to bottle up those poisonous personal thoughts.

Sebastian placed a strong hand on my shoulder, tethering me down to Earth. “Hey,” he said gently. “It’s all going to be alright. Chris is basically already a dad, save for the whole having a child bit. Until now, I guess.” Seb gave a half-hearted smirk, trying his crack at comedic relief.

“Yeah,” Brie agreed. “You’ve seen him with his sisters’ kids. And even on set, everyone’s families are always around. He adores kids as much as they love him, yours won’t be any different.”

The problem was that, in my head, I knew she was right. I knew Chris talked about how he couldn’t wait to settle down way before we got together. I knew he would never turn his child away. But, in my heart, I didn’t feel it. I felt scared. I felt like there were all of these other crushing ways he would react and partly irrational reasons for him to reject me and our baby. Our baby. I couldn’t tell if that had a certain ring to it or if it was more of a sound of alarm. “What matters is if you want this,” Brie implored, holding one of my hands between two of hers as she radiated support.

“I know,” I sighed, the defeat I heard in my own voice being depressing in itself. “I do. It just… wasn’t supposed to happen like this,” I choked out, finally letting a few tears slip. As quickly as the fracture in my dam appeared, the crack spread until it was all turned to rubble, allowing the crashing waves of tears to flood my cheeks without a hope to stop them. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, like the dam’s remnants were weighing heavy on my chest and caving my rib cage. Brie and Seb both swooped in to hug me, but they only suffocated me more.

“Everything alright in there?” Downey suddenly asked. His suspicious tone was accompanied by loud taps on the trailer’s door. “Swear I’ll kick Evans’s ass to the ends of the Earth if it isn’t,” he said, sounding every bit of the protective dad he is to me.

I nodded to encourage Sebastian, who was staring at me expectantly as he moved to the door slowly, waiting for me to stop him. As soon as Robert entered the room, his face softened with slumped eyebrows and a slack jaw. “We were walking by and heard some crying,” he explained gently. I noticed Tom Holland, who must have been accompanying RDJ to his own town of trailers, following in suit. Tom kept his distance, still so new around all of us he was trying to find his place among our family.

Robert took a seat next to me and leaned forward as he waited for me to speak. He grabbed my hands in his and waited patiently, for me to summon the courage he seemed to seep. Robery’s eyes trained on the stick I’m sure he recognized as a pregnancy test before widening with realization, but he continued to sit in suspense nonetheless.

“I found out that I’m uh...” I stopped to swallow the lump in my throat. “Pregnant,” I finally sobbed out. It didn’t get any easier. Downey broke out into a smile, jumping to his feet and pulling me up with him before drawing me in to a bone-crushing hug. “I know it’s scary as hell,” Robert whispered with the wisdom of an experienced father. His tone telling me he understood all too well how terrifying the instability of life when you needed it to be secure could be. “And it doesn’t feel like it now, but I promise this is one of the best moments of your life.”

“I mean, yeah duh,” I joked in a sorry attempt to lighten the mood. “It’s not every day you get a bear hug from RDJ.” He held me at arms length and looked me up and down slowly, though I couldn’t tell exactly what he was looking for. Until his eyes hit mine with a look of pride and I realized he was taking one last look at the small, helpless caterpillar I felt like before I entered my cocoon and emerged a much stronger, beautiful butterfly. “Really, I promise you’ll be proud of who you are when you come out on the other side and you’ll have this incredible little person with you along the way.” He caressed my cheek, wiping some tears with his thumb.

“Yeah,” Tom said from where he stood by the door with enough excitement for the both of us combined. His age didn’t allow for the kind of seasoned support Robert did, but his youth provided for a more optimistic outlook. He bit his bottom lip hesitantly, thinking over what he was going to say carefully. “You’ve become one of my favorite people and Chris has, too. It’s going to be so awesome having a little combo of you two running around.” Some may call it naïveté, but Tom telling me it was all going to be okay with the assuredness of someone who hadn’t seen how terribly wrong it could go yet was exactly what I needed.

“Thank you. All of you,” I choked up again. This time it was a tidal wave of love I was surrounded by that seemed to drown me, filling me from the bottom of my heart with a sudden inner peace until it poured out in appreciation for the friends around me.

Seb was the first to hug me, whispering congratulations in my ear as he buried his face in my shoulder as he hid the falling tears. “I can’t believe you’re going to be a mom,” he said solemnly.

“Me either,” RDJ remarked as he joined in, followed by Tom who hurdled into us like he just entered the atmosphere. Brie stretched as she tried to wrap her arms around everyone. There, in the middle of almost all the people I loved huddled together in a rally of support, I suddenly realized how my heart still ached for something missing. Someone, rather.

“I’ve got to tell him… But how can I do that?” I questioned contemplatively, thinking out loud more than anything. Considering the aftershocks I was still experiencing from the kind of quaking surprise that turned your whole world on its axis, I didn’t want to put Chris through the same calamity. My friends pulled away, though they all stayed close. “Ever seen Full House?” Tom suggested, causing the rest of us who were around when it was on air and immensely popular to break into laughter. Still, it got me thinking. Maybe the kid was on to something.

Chris stormed into the place we were renting out for the duration of filming earlier than I anticipated and with more aggression than I expected. I headed over here after everyone wished me luck and left, shooting Chris a text to meet me back here once he was done filming so we could talk asap. He opened the message but didn’t respond, which I would’ve taken personally if I didn’t know how much I’d pissed him off. Instead, he swung the front door open with an unexpected force almost half an hour earlier than he’d been scheduled to.

I sighed as I pulled the baby back ribs out of the oven so I could plate them along with the peas and baby carrots, knowing he was unhappy just by the rush of his heavy footsteps. Chris walked up behind me with crossed arms and a stern expression. His lips pressed together and eyebrows furrowed as he demanded, “What is up with you lately?”

I tilted my head and hummed in question, trying to play dumb. He called me out for it immediately, but I turned away from him. Facing the kitchen counter, I took off my oven mitts before returning to preparing dinner, gathering silverware and napkins.

“Don’t act like you don’t know how distant you’ve been,” Chirs huffed, hands on his hips.” Hell, you didn’t even bother to say you loved me too after you blatantly lied. That hurt,” Chris raved, his pain exploding into frustration and spreading shrapnel with a fevered wave of his hands around the kitchen. Sometimes it was hard to tell when he was really that vexed or a Bostonian by nature and nurture. Now, I had a feeling it was a dangerous cocktail of both I wasn’t prepared to stir. If only there was a bit more traffic coming home, all I needed were a few more minutes to get the table set.

“I’m sorry,” I said dismissively while compiling all the utensils in one hand and the plates in my other. “Be a dear and grab the water and some cups please,” I instructed before heading into the dining room.

Chris rolled his eyes dramatically, chastising me for ignoring him. “Y-you’re sorry?” he exhorted a bit dumbfoundedly, but he’d already lost his audience. “I’m not dropping this,” Chris grumbled, snatching the decanter from the fridge along with some wine glasses. “Sure you don’t want Merlot with those ribs?” he asked, unaware of his own innocence. Chris’s proposed pairing would’ve been great if not given my circumstance. He still sounded indignant, but his blissful ignorance nearly elicited a laugh I had to stifle with a cough before turning the alcohol down.

“It isn’t right of you to shut me out, worse of you to lie to me,” Chris continued ranting. He was right on my heels down the hall, clinging the crystal together in one hand sloppily. Knowing I’d break and ruin the surprise once I saw the hurt in his eyes, I busied myself with making sure the napkins were perfectly perpendicular to the table’s edge. “We’re supposed to be in this together,” he protested, just short of stomping his foot. “And now you won’t even look at me!” Chris snapped sharply. He slammed the contents of his hand down on the table with a harsh thud, unconcerned for the splash zone he created. He was running out of patience so fast he could’ve placed in the Olympics.

My eyes cast downward as I took my seat at our table nonetheless, trying to ignore Chris’s tantrum. He remained standing upright, stubborn and immovable. “Can you at least acknowledge me, damn it!” Chris yelled, striking the wooden table so hard the water quivered again. The veins protruding from his neck and forehead slowly started to subside with a few deep breaths as Chris realized he wasn’t going to get the screaming match he wanted. “All I want to do is talk to you,” he pleaded, the defeat of a battle that didn’t ensue evident in his voice.

“You’re right,” I said calmly, my eyes snapping up to his, overcome with surprise. “Sit down then and let’s talk.” I cut a carrot in half and popped it in my mouth, watching as Chris was taken aback by my repose. He came to a fight I’d already predicted, seeing the storm in the forecast allowed me to be prepared with an umbrella. Chris stood up straighter before pulling out the chair and sitting before the plate I’d set out for him. “How do you like dinner tonight? Thought I’d try something relevant-”

“The only thing relevant to this conversation is you telling me exactly what your problem has been and- wait, what?” Chris said in a flurry, going from exasperation to perplexion faster than a sports car from zero to sixty. “How could ribs, peas, and baby carrots possibly be relevant right now?” Apparently, he wasn’t just full, but overflowing with confusion to the point that his anger was completely diluted.

“I knew the peas would be confusing, but Sebastian insisted it was brilliant,” I explained. Chris spluttered, trying to make sense of my cryptic words. “You see,” I picked up a small pea, holding it in between my thumb and index finger and raised it up to be level with Chris’s blue eyes. “This is how big a fetus is at six weeks. They’re already growing up fast, huh?”

“A-a fetus?” he stuttered like it was his first time saying the word out loud. Chris’s eyes searched frantically from the pea in my hand to the pile on his plate along with the other things accompanying it. Puzzle pieces he started to put together, an image that he began to bring into focus. Once it hit him, Chris sat back in his chair and braced himself against the table by the heels of his hands like he was thrown back by the force of a metaphorical and literal shock.

This was the moment I’d been dreading. The terrible in between when it was all up in the air. When everything was out of my control and, for better or worse, in his.

“Oh, baby,” Chris said, his use of the pet name being soft and breathy. He closed his eyes as he leaned in toward me again. Placing an elbow on the table and resting his chin on his hand. His anger had brought Chris to a boiling point, but now he sat before me completely melted. Soft and gooey from the inside out, the irate lines of his cross face molded into crow’s feet by his smiling eyes and defined the apples of his cheeks as he broke out into a grin. “A baby.”

Chris said the word like it was a blessing rather than a curse. A sunny day instead of a storm. A solution as opposed to a problem. A miracle in lieu of an accident. Everything I’d hoped he’d feel, but the thought was too good to be true in the face of every other reaction. Everything I’d wanted to think, but what I couldn’t allow myself to believe out of the fear of getting my hopes up.

“I wanted to tell you,” I finally confessed. “I just wasn’t sure how you’d take it. Not that I don’t think you’d make an incredible father. Honestly, all day I’ve been thinking about you with our little bundle in your arms. I mean, we haven’t been together long and it’s a big step for anyone let alone-” Keeping things from Chris wasn’t something I was used to and now, with the brazen ability to share everything with him again, the words spouted out of me like an erupting volcano, full of excited energy and nowhere else for it to go but pouring out.

Until Chris cut me off with a kiss. Leaning across the table, his lips were still stretched in a smile when they met mine. He didn’t mean to shut me up because of some kind of antipathy to my side, but rather because he already understood. I didn’t need to waste air I could’ve spent kissing him on explaining myself when Chris comprehended it. Instead, he told me everything I needed without saying a word. He still loved me, but more than that he loved us. He still wanted me, but our baby as well.

Chris pulled away sooner than I wanted him to, but I could have lived in that moment forever if the world let us. Like nothing happened, he picked up a rib and took a bite out of it. Chris sat back in his chair again and nodded contemplatively. “I know it wasn’t planned but it just feels so…” He stared down at his plate like it held the answers.

“Right,” I finished his sentence, realizing that, with his support, it was. Chris nodded in agreement. “That’s it,” he said as he picked up his fork to reach for the meal that had already grown cold. “Right,” he said, meaning it more in a sense of agreement. “I’ve wanted kids my whole life and I’m grateful to have you as their mom,” he reached across the table to grasp my hand in his gently. “We’re speaking in plurals now?” I joked in deflection since I couldn’t properly express how he made my heart burst with anything other than a squeeze of his hand. Chris chuckled as he backtracked, “Maybe not yet, but I just can’t believe we’re going to be parents.”

“If you don’t believe it, you better see it,” I said, reaching for the folded photo I kept in my pocket and handing it to him so Chris could conceptualize his child with something other than carrots. “I think he looks like you.” Chris let his fork clatter to the table as he held the sonogram up and shook his head, still unable to completely find the right words. “How do you know it’s a he?” Chris asked, quirking an eyebrow up to which I shrugged simply. It was just a feeling.

Chris turned back to his plate, staring bug-eyed at the themed dish in front of him. “A baby,” he repeated in a whisper to himself, almost like a promise. “Gotta be really honest with you,” he said seriously, causing my breath to catch behind a lump in my throat. Chris turned to me with a pronounced tilt of his head, fighting back a smirk, as he said, “I feel kinda weird about eating the peas now.”

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smokeybrandreviews · 5 years ago

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Cheeseburgers

The Infinity Saga is over. The MCU is moving forward into uncharted waters. Disney+ has pushed back certain shows and moved up WandaVision. Black Widow finally has a well deserved movie, postmortem. The future is wide open but, before we get on a brand new pain train, i wanted to take a look back and talk about some of my favorite movies from the first eleven years of the MCU.

Avengers: Infinity War

This movie, man, is probably peak MCU. There are better films in the series but you’ll be hard-pressed to find a film that walks the line of comic book and cinema to deftly. This is the penultimate tale for that first decade and what a f*cking climax it was. Holy sh*t! There was just so much good in this film, from character development to visual flair to legitimate stakes. I’m a massive Marvel fan and i am well aware of the Infinite Gauntlet saga in the comics but seeing this sh*t? Seeing Thanos actually Snap? I never though in a million years that would happen onscreen. And then it did. It was at that point i absolutely knew the MCU was about that life. I knew to expect the unexpected because , with the wealth of the Marvel universe to draw from, they were going to craft some motherf*ckers of stories.

Like, I f*cking cried when Pete got dusted. I shed legitimate tears and I’m not even embarrassed to say it out loud. For a film to move me like that? and it’s not Forrest Gump? Motherf*cker had to be on point, for sure. The entire theater was silent as those strings hummed and Thanos sat on his farm, smiling contently. I had never experienced that before The entire auditorium - completely silent. We were in disbelief. We were in mourning. I saw Infinity War in theaters four times and literally every time, the same thing happened. In two hours and some change, Marvel had gave a theater full of people straight emotional trauma. Your movie has to be absolutely on point for that to occur.

Speaking of Thanos, yo, how was this big ass purple grimace looking motherf*cker one of the best antagonists of film, period? How was this cat written so well? I lost my sh*t when they teased him at the end of Avengers and that little bit we got of him in Guardians was cool but i was not prepared for how goddamn formidable he turned out to be. Josh Brolin brought this character to life but the writing gave me real agency. I was flabbergasted by how great this character turned out to be. Thanos felt real. He felt flawed. He felt legitimate. Id have to put him up there with The Dark Knight Joker and Hans Landa as one of the best antagonists ever.

Spider-Man: Homecoming

I adore Spider-Man. Ive written at length about that love. He’s the reason i even picked up that Marvel comic all those years ago. I’ve seen every cinematic iteration of Webhead and i mst say, this portrayal is the truest to the source material i have ever seen. Cats get on the MCU about making him Tony Stark jr. but most people don’t understand that’s where he was going anyway. Most people don’t know that, in the comics, he’s basically Reed Richards jr. and since the MCU has no Reed, Tony is a pretty smart substitute. But that argument is inconsequential because the core of who Spider-Man is, the actual spirit of the character, has been captured so perfectly by this version of Pete, it’s borderline miraculous. I love Tobey McGuire’s take in Pete because he was the first to do it. Kind of like how i have such nostalgia for the 89 Batman. That version of Spider-Man felt like the old Lee/Ditko version from the 60s. Andrew Garfield was adequate. He didn’t get a fair shake though, mostly barbecue the writing in his run was so goddamn terrible. But this new kid? This casting was as perfect as RDJ was to Iron Man.

Tom Holland kills it as Spider-Man. His version of the character feels right. It feels modern. It feels like Ultimate Pete but grounded in the spirit of the 90s cartoon version. He’s this massive geek, this kid really, granted power in tragedy and it feels so goddamn authentic, i couldn’t believe it. The second he showed u in Civil War, i absolutely knew Underoos was about to be a star in these films and that is saying a lot considering how loaded this cast has become. Homecoming was the first film we got to see Pete stretch his legs and it was f*cking brilliant. Everything about this movie is what a great Spider-Flick should be and the MCU nailed it! if i never got another Spidey appearance, this movie was more than enough to sate my appetite. Homecoming is my second favorite MCU movie. I loved every second of it!

Also, how about that Aunt May stinger, though?

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Look, i love the Dark Knight. For me, that is the pinnacle of a capeflick. That movie was a great crime thriller first, a Batflick second. Nolan approached it with a grounded sense of reality that left you, as an audience, breathless. It is one of the best films i have ever seen in my entire life and Ledger gave one of the most brilliant performances ever captured on celluloid. There is nothing as good as that film in the MCU. The Winter Soldier comes f*cking close, though. This movie made me sit up and realize that the MCU had some teeth. Until this thing came out, i thought we were going to get a bunch of flamboyant costumes and snarky Wedonisms. I wasn’t mad, mind you, Avengers was dope, but Winter Soldier took all that campy bullsh*t out back and murdered it. This movie was the MCU growing up and almost everything afterward has been brilliant. The Winter Soldier forced everyone to step their game up with how goddamn brilliant it turned out to be. I can’t say there were any performances as great as Ledger’s Joker but i can make the argument the overall writing was better than The Dark Knight, and that is stupid high praise.

Guardians of the Galaxy

This film has no right to be as good as it is. I went into this thing on a whim, mostly because I thought it was going ti be filler like Ant-Man or something, and then it wasn’t. It was great. Legitimately great. I had no idea the MCU could take a C-rate team like the goddamn Guardians and uplift them so beautifully. James Gunn took those characters and wrote the best Star Wars film since f*cking Empire and I didn’t think that was possible, not with this wayward branch of Marvel History. Seriously, if you do even a minuscule amount of research on who the Guardians are, they’re a joke. I mean, they have a f*cking talking Raccoon on the team! Gunn had the wherewithal to lean into that and he produced one of the best in the entire MCU. He took these loser clowns and injected so much emotion and humanity into them, you couldn’t help but love their rag-tag asses. This was the first MCU movie to move me to tears. That stuff about Quills mom? I felt that. Both times. On an extremely personal level. I was the young Quill. I watched my grandma, the only person who i believe loved me unconditionally up to that point, die just like Quill’s mom; Cancer and everything. I was about his age when it happened, too. That sh*t f*cked me up. To this day, i have nightmares about it. Seeing that sh*t so accurately captured in a capeflick was the most for me and I legit had to leave the theater until the first part of the movie passed. To this day, i can’t watch that scene. I can just barely make it through the Dance of to Save Th Universe, but that opening gambit? No way. It hits way too close to home for me. Still, for a comic book movie to solicit such a response? It has to be special and Guardians is one of the best.

Iron Man

Boy, we’ve come a long way since Tony Stark uttered those fateful word, “I am Iron Man.” But none of these other films would even have the opportunity to exist if he hadn't said them. Iron Man had the tall order of being the first, proper, MCU film AND compete with The Dark Knight. N one thought a film about B-List superhero, narcissistic billionaire, and straight up lush, Tony Stark, would amount to anything. How wrong everyone turned out to be. I knew, from that second i saw the teaser and concept art by Adi Granov, that Marvel was taking this sh*t crazy serious. Then there’s the casting of Robert Downey Jr. That sh*t was a boon, for real. The entire cast of this first film was impeccable but RDJ makes this movie. He IS Tony Stark. Even before he got comfortable with the character like in the later films, fresh out the box with the scripts, you can tell he knows how to bring this tinkerer to life. You had to nail that aspect in order to have any chance to build something great and Marvel hit a goddamn bullseyes, for sure. Revisiting this flick, Iron Man isn’t as good as the later films in the Infinity Saga but it still holds up against the vast majority of entries and that’s saying something.

I love these films, man. As a geek growing up reading these stories, reenacting them with their action figures, sitting glued to the television every Saturday as their cartoons aired, I never imagined id see such a berth of fantastic media brought to life on the silver screen. Seriously, some of my favorite interpretations of these characters appear exclusive in the MCU. War Machine, Thor until recently, Ant-Man, f*cking Hulk? i never gave these assholes the time of day in the comics but in the MCU? They’re fantastic! And it has everything to do with how well written they are in-universe. There are over twenty films in this run an i love all of them to varying extents. Spider-Man: Far From Home, Black Panther, Captain America: Civil War, Avengers: Endgame, Thor: Ragnarok, and Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 all could have made this list. For sure, they’re 6 - 11 or whatever, but that speaks to the sheer depth of the MCU. I’m not even counting flicks i would consider B-tier like Captain Marvel or Avengers or Iron Man 3 or Doctor Strange; All of which are still dope in their own right.

There is just SO much great in these films and i can’t wait to see where we go next. With Disney acquiring Fox, Marvel finally has the full toy box to play with and i am absolutely a tizzy with the potential arcs they can adapt. Secret Wars? Annihilation? Age of Apocalypse? Avengers Disassembled? Dark Reign? F*cking Onslaught?? I have no idea where we are going but i am, for sure, jumping on this pain train once again.

#Marvel #MCU #Infinity Saga

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smokeybrand · 5 years ago

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Cheeseburgers

Avengers: Infinity War

Spider-Man: Homecoming

Also, how about that Aunt May stinger, though?

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Guardians of the Galaxy

Iron Man

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temmaha1996 · 6 years ago

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Avengers: Endgame

Avengers: Endgame is a 2019 superhero film directed by Anthony and Joe Russo. It stars Robert Downey Jr. , Chris Evans and Josh Brolin. The film is about the Avengers dealing with the aftermath of Thanos’ world-ending snap, as they recoup for one last stand against the mad titan for the fate of the world.

Hype for this film had been unreal. Infinity War shocked viewers with an incredible ending, and left them to wonder a year as to what will happen next. Now, we have new superheroes like Ant Man and Captain Marvel joining the battle. This was heavily marketed as the ending of the Infinity Saga and the first 22 Marvel films, and without spoiling anything, It does indeed feel like the end of an era. But, is Avengers: Endgame a worthy conclusion? You’d be damned right it is. This film is quite literally the biggest film we’ve ever seen, as The Russos manage to execute the damn near impossible and conclude a decade long story very fittingly. Avengers: Endgame is an epic, extravaganza of entertainment like no other. A conclusion like no other that not only lives up to, but exceeds expectations. You will laugh, you will cheer and you will cry as you witness an experience that is best appreciated as a true fan of the MCU. It mixes an unpredictable course of events with great humor, emotion and heart. The acting from the cast and the musical score are some highlights in a film filled with memorable moments that will live with you forever.

Let’s begin with the positives.

Firstly, acting. Robert Downey Jr. is as usual, a scene stealer. The man has been carrying this franchise for a decade, and fans of Iron Man will not be disappointed as RDJ brings his A-game for this film. Josh Brolin is also impressive as Thanos, as fears of him being cast aside were soon put to rest as The Russos handled him perfectly. Scarlett Johansson, Chris Evans and Jeremy Renner were also fantastic in their roles.

Also, character moments. This film is 3 hours long, but it never truly feels that way. In fact, it flashes by as you are treated to endless moments of impressive character building and moments. There are several tender and somber moments, but when the film ups the antics you cannot help but turn into a 5 year old again as you laugh, cheer and cry with all the characters you have come to know and love.

In addition, script. I was actually impressed by the film’s structure and how it manages to nail literally every existing human emotion on point. This is one of Marvel’s funniest films and all the jokes really hit, but at the same time it is easily Marvel’s most depressing and emotional movie to date. The stakes really feel high and there are various brave choices The Russos make that I think worked very well.

However, the film did have some minor hiccups.

Mainly, ending. Don’t worry, there aren’t any spoilers. The end of the film does feel like a bunch of endings stuck together rather than a coherent superhero movie ending that we would expect in a team-ensemble film like the Avengers. I thought what actually happened in the ending was perfect, but the last few scenes could have been more cohesive.

To conclude, despite some issues with the endings, I was nonetheless blown away and given constant chills, tears and laughs. This is easily one of the funniest films I have ever seen, and one of the most unpredictable. Certainly, it’s the most emotional and tear-jerking Marvel film of all time that truly made a grown-man cry and go through every emotion there is to go through. It’s a film filled with bittersweet ends and hopeful beginnings, and I genuinely think we will never see a massive event of a film like this ever again. Marvel will continue to entertain us as the years go by, but Endgame is definitely a worthy conclusion to the first phase of iconic superheroes. Avengers: Endgame receives an 9.5/10.

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mschrisaholic · 6 years ago

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Chris’ Cupcake Challenge

Imagine:

I got the inspiration from the cupcake challenge that the stars of Avengers played, the video is tweeted by BuzzFeed. x What if everyone makes fun of Chris? It’s all because you, Chris’ wife, had once on live with Chris when you guys were making cupcakes at home. At the end of the challenge, Chris accidentally disclosed sth.

Warnings: very fluffy & adorable; few swearing

P.S.~

English is not my first language, so please do forgive me if I make any mistakes, which I am so sure that there are some in my writing;)) Enjoy~

— The Livestream —

“Hey guys, we’re the Evans and we’re now on live!” You greeted everyone on your live streaming on your Instagram account, with your husband, Chris Evans standing next to you behind the island in your kitchen.

“Hi there, guys.” He greeted too then he saw the comments on the screen.

“Oh! You guys are curious to know what we’re doing here! We are making cupcakes!“ Chris read the comment out and answered.

“Yes! It’s Thanksgiving today so we’re making cupcakes for the kids, which means our nieces, please don’t make any wild guesses!” You added on Chris’ answer.

“Yeah guys! Just to let you know, we’ve already had a plan.”

“Yup! By the way, the whole live streaming thing is about cupcakes! We want you guys to decide what toppings we should do on the cupcakes, and our great chef here will do all the toppings!” You pointed at Chris as the point you said “our great chef” and laughed after you finished.

“Oh! I never see this coming. Since when a man who can burn the kitchen becomes the great chef here?”

“Since this Livestream starts!”

”Okay! I’ve never done this before, damn it! And you’re gonna make me embarrass myself in front of the camera!” He joked and giggled.

“No, I’m not! I have faith in you, you can do very well! Alright, I can see our fans are very excited about our little game! I’ve already seen a really good answer! Avengers cupcake! Credit to you @Mrsevans. Oops, it’s awkward haha! I didn’t remember that I have such account.”

“Oh honey. there are so many Evans out there I’m sure.“

“Alright, I love how they love you! So you guys want Chris to do only the original 6 or the whole team of Avengers?”

“Oh my god! I can’t believe that you’re asking this question! My fans hate me, they love seeing me being frustrated!”

“Yes, you’re right! 100% of them are saying the whole team! The whole team it is! Alright! So Mr. Chris Evans, here are all our ingredients, sprinkles, different colors of buttercream frosting that are made by me, some fondant and food colorings. Please use everything you need to make our Avengers cupcakes, you have 8 minutes to do so!” You introduced all the ingredients that you’ve placed on the island.

“What? I have a time limit too? And why 8 minutes, that specific?”

“My phone is nearly out of battery so you need to finish it before my phone’s dead.”

“Can you just charge your phone, my dear?“

“Nope, sorry. There will be no fun!”

“You hate me too, don’t you?” Chris pouted.

“Nope, I love you!” You pecked on his cheeks and lips.

“Now time to work, our greatest chef! The kitchen is all yours and I’ll take the phone starting from now!” You squealed a bit and then you picked up the phone to switch the camera so now only Chris is on the camera.

“Okay! I’m gonna leave the Captain America’s one the last one to do, as I think it is the easiest! Start with my dearest Iron Man first! I’m gonna use red and yellow frosting and a lot of sprinkles! Then Thor, grey frosting and lots of sprinkles! Black Widow, black and red, lots of sprinkles! Captain Marvel, red, blue and yellow frosting, lots of sprinkles!”

“Hey hey hey! Big boy! Lots of sprinkles all the time?”

“I wike sprinkles! I love it!”

“Are you gonna use some of the fondants? I’m sure they will make those cakes prettier.”

“Ouch! You hurt my feelings! I think they are very pretty now! Look, beautiful!” Chris held one of the cupcakes up to the camera to show you and also all those people watching the livestream.

“Alright, alright. 4 minutes left.”

“God! I am not gonna finish them all! Ant Man, grey and red, lots of sprinkles! Winter Soldier, grey on the left side, sprinkles on the other side.“

”Wait, is the grey side stands for the metal arm?” You couldn’t stop laughing when you saw the cupcake.

“Yes! You know me the best!” He just said it but he was too busy with the cupcakes so he didn’t lift his head up.

“3 minutes left!”

“Alright, alright! Hawkeyes, I don’t know any symbols about him, no specific colors! Poor Jeremy! Cupcake covered with random color frosting, lots of sprinkles and an ‘H’ on top! Nailed it! Hulk, big dude! Running out of time, only green frosting for you then! Oh, with lots of sprinkles.”

“Honey, 1 minute left!”

“Alright everybody, I’m not gonna finish every Avenger as you all wish! I’m leaving this last minute for my own character! Captain America, the greatest superhero in the world! Perfect red. blue and white frosting for the shield, not gonna put lots of sprinkles on it but only one with the little star shape.”

“Time’s up!” Then you had a close shot to all those cupcakes covered in lots of sprinkles.

“I’m sure that the kids are gonna have a hard time choosing cupcakes!” Chris couldn’t stop complimenting himself for his work.

“Yeah, I’m sure they are cause they don’t wanna eat any of them. The massive amount of sprinkles looks so gross, babe.”

“Oh, dear! You’re in big trouble as you say this!“ Chris reached you and tried to tickle you.

“Wait! My phone is dying! See you guys! Stay tuned for our next episode of Chris Challenge! Bye!”

— End of Livestream —

— Back to the Cupcake Challenge with the cast of Avengers —

“Alright, Avengers. It’s time for the Cupcake Challenge.”

“Using the ingredients in front of you, you each have 3 minutes to design the cupcake based upon your own character.”

“Begin!”

The original 6 Avengers were all focusing on their own cupcakes.

“Wow, Chris! You do the frosting perfectly!” Scarlett took a glance at Chris’ Captain America cupcake, a red circle with buttercream frosting were perfectly drawn.

“Well, I am well trained.”

“Evans, do you find it’s hard with that little amount of sprinkles you got?” RDJ teased while he was messing with all the ingredients that he had on the table.

“Oh, you got me! No one eats mine after I finish. I need to show y/n how bad a cupcake tastes without lots of sprinkles!” Chris continued to draw the other blue and white circles.

“Okay, time’s up! Avengers, please show us your cupcake!”

The Avengers revealed their cupcakes, of course, RDJ’s ones were the best because they’re pre-made. And the camera stopped rolling at this point.

“Well, I must say that Chris 2’s cupcake is better than mine! Can I get it for my kids?” Hemsworth complimented Chris’ cupcake.

“Nope! I’m saving it for mine! 6 months to go!” Your husband, Chris mumbled under his breath with a proud smile on his face, which actually he was saying loudly enough that every Avenger could hear him.

Everyone gasped at Chris’ words, all eyes are stared at him.

“Alright, guys! Yes, y/n and I are having our first kid! God, she’s gonna be mad. We’re planning to tell you guys after all the Endgame stuff.”

“It’s okay, babe! I don’t mind at all! Come and enjoy the real cupcakes, Avengers!”

Everyone at the studio was so happy for you and Chris. You finished Chris’ cupcake and told him that this cupcake is tastier than every single one that he’s made on Thanksgiving. Last but not least, you reminded him that he should work harder on cupcakes, for you and for your future kids!

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x you #chris evans oneshot #chris evans imagine #chris evans fanfic #fluffy #marvel #marvel endgame #avengers endgame

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happinessinthedarkest-times · 6 years ago

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avengers endgame reaction (spoilers!!!)

**if youre on mobile scroll fast bc idk if the keep reading works

holy shit holy shit fuck fuck fuck

i am an emotional wreak right now

ahhhhh it was so good im crying still

tony fucking stark my heart i guess ill start there

tony stark i love you three thousand. he got his happy ending with morgan and pepper for 5 years they had 5 years together and he knew that the time heist (lol) would jeopardize that and he still went and helped

that scene where he had it out with steve at the beginning fuck my heart was breaking and i was crying .

i cried a lot in this movie. legit sobbing when nat died but ill get to that

that scene was everything i wanted it to be and perfectly executed. of course hes angry and lashing out because they were supposed to do it together and lose together and the emotion behind that ughh rdj killed it

he literally hands steve his heart the arch reactor

tony and howard ugh everything with them together. tony got closure with his dad

everything tony was great.

steve

he got his happy ending. he got his dance with peggy (now im crying again) fuck. and he PICK UP MJOLNIR omg that scene was amazing and everything i never dreamed could happen when the hammer started moving ughhhh omg i was cheering so loud in the theatre and i dont normally do that. that whole scene ugh theres so much to react to

and he got to say assemble.

ok now from the beginning.

i started to cry literally before it even started. the screen was black and i was already tearing up but when clint and his daughter came up and then his family disappeared i was full on crying.

carol coming in clutch and saving tony and nebula yessss

steve and tony’s conversation right when he gets off the ship was everything i wanted it to be. (crying again) everything.

when they go to thanos’s house thing and thor chops off his arm . its what ive been saying they shouldve done on titan

and then he went for the head!

five.......

years later

fuck them. literally when the ‘five’ came up i was like no no no dont you dare do it dont you dare and then they did it. fuck them

five fucking years?!?! they made them live through 5 years of that trauma?!?!?

nat was everything in this film. she became the leader and keeping track of everything and her moment of breaking down was just so human. she couldnt move on in those 5 years and it just shows how much the avengers had become her family.

scott and cassie omg cassie all grown up made me so emotional

tony and morgan i love you three thousand she is the cutest and sweetest thing

tony fucking stark figured out time travel. he did that.

when tony gives steve his shield back my heart could not take it

the scenes where they were trying to pinpoint the exact time to go back and it was like a sleepover sesh and all the domestic avenger fanfics

going back a little bit

clint killing all the people that should have been killed and deserved to be killed and being a total badass showing up all those people who said he was just really good with an arrow and every scene he has with nat.

‘dont give me hope’

thor. oh where to start. he really did lose everything and he was blaming himself for all that happened so i get where hes coming from. every time you could see him remembering and tormenting himself about what happened broke me. his scene with his mother (crying again)

also hulk/bruce was an interesting choice (not a huge fan of it but ok)

the time traveling

everything about the new york scenes were amazing. the aftermath of the end of the avengers, loki turning into cap for a second, seeing rumlow and sitwell come out, steve getting into the elevator and channeling that winter soldier energy (i was slapping my sister on the arm so hard at this part) hail hydra and outsmarting them all. cap fighting cap “i can do this all day” lmao i was dying ‘bucky is alive” again dying they really nailed it with this. i was worried beforehand because like it would change how we would see the og avengers but i still think it works

also can talk about how tony (and scott) was checking out steves ass????

“i forgot how that suit did nothing for you ass” (be still my heart) “i like to think of it at america’s ass” (or whatever the line was)

loki getting away with the tesseract (is that in this timeline im confused about that hopefully someone will explain bc does that mean loki is alive in this timeline or not? lol)

them going back to the 1970s (do you trust me? i do) and tony meeting howard and introducing himself as howard potts. again i know i talked about howard and tony already but i loved their scenes. and JARVIS FROM AGENT CARTER MAKING AN APPEARANCE OMG

PEGGYYYYYYY (crying) when steve walked into her office (grabbed my sister again) and when he was watching her through the window and you could feel his pain.

thor and rocket are the pairing that i never imagined but amazing none the less. i loved that we got the return of mjolnir here even though idk what that does to the timeline (again who knows at this point)

rhodey and nebula again another pairing i didnt expect but are great together. everything about nebula in this film. she really has a great arch. i was stressing out so hard when the alternate timeline thanos found out that they came from the past. the scene where peter quill is dancing and singing to no music was great.

clint and natasha. this pairing thie duo the og. fuck my heart. when they started going off to vormir i knew. i knew it and i cannot handle it. the whole scene where they are fighting each other to sacrifice themself i was SOBBING. LEGIT SOBBING. ‘let me go’ i loved this so much and also hated it. she deserved her happy ending too. after everything she gave up everything to save those people. her arch is so good too. im excited for her origin. i kinda want to see her when shes a bad guy and killing everyone and her journey to shield. i hope thats what we’ll see in her movie.

but also that scene emotionally fucked me up hard.

the og avengers (minus nat) sitting on the edge of the lake

thor trying to put on the glove and redeem himself (in his own eyes not my own bc he doesnt deserve the shit he gets for not going for the head)

hulk doing it and the calm before the storm where everything goes back before that missile comes firing down.

steve tony and thor facing off with thanos. everything about this scene. tony getting a juice-up from thor and lightning to max out his powers. steve jump kicking on thanos’s ass. thanos beating up thor and steve coming in with FUCKING MJOLNIR AGAIN CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW MUCH I WAS CHEERING AT THIS POINT HE IS WORTHY MY BOY STEVE IS WORTHY

also on that note tony coming up to steve and saying “theres my man” or something and giving him back his shield again.

steve standing there with his broken shield ready to face off with thanos’s army and sam coming in on the comm. and then EVERYONE COMING THRU AND KICKING NAMES AND TAKING ASS

legit cheering and crying so much

valkyrie with her pegasus

shuri with her blasters

peter parker and his reunion with tony was heartbreaking. tony looked so broken and complete at the same time. he got him back.

PEPPER FREAKING POTTS

AVENGERS ASSEMBLE (YEESSSSSSSS)

peter quill’s semi-reunion with gamora and how she doesnt know him but he gets her back

also gamora, nebula and still-evil!nebula was a great scene. nebula killing her past self is some symbolic shit right there AND to protect her sister who she hated

CAROL FUCKING DANVERS COMING TO SAVE THE DAY AND KICK THANOS’S ASS

im sad that she wasn’t in the film as much but i get why they did it and it also makes me really excited for her future films

but carol getting the gauntlet and peter saying “i dont know how youre gonna get through that”

and ALL THE BADASS MCU WOMEN COMING UP BEHIND HER READY TO FIGHT AND REPRESENT FOR THE FEMALES (CRYING)

this is something that couldn’t of been done a few years ago because there weren’t a lot of female superheroes in this universe and just the fact that this scene can make such an impression and become probably one of the most badass scenes of the mcu is one of the best things that came out of this movie.

side note: ‘activate instant kill’ great callback

and then we get to the sacrifice.

i knew it. i expected it. i read it in fanfics.

i was still not prepared.

‘I am inevitable’

‘I AM IRON MAN’

FUCKKKKKKKK they really know how to write these movies.

he knew he would die. he knew he would never see morgan again. but he knew what he had to do.

his character arch from a selfish man to a selfless man has been the most profound and powerful story.

rdj and tony stark have really carried this franchise. they were the start. and it makes sense that his death closes out this era of the mcu.

to rdj: i will never forgive my mom for telling me that she didn’t like you way back when. that really influenced how i thought about you and about tony stark for years. and i limited me from really appreciating and loving iron man and those movies and tony’s character. but as i continued to watch more of you in the mcu and in real life and have seen how you have grown and who you are today, i have so much love and respect for you and your character. im just so upset at the time i lost where i could have fallen even more in love with you. thank you so much for everything you have done over the last 11 years for this franchise. thank you for the time thank you for the memories and the laughs. the journey has been amazing.

the funeral scene with ‘proof that tony stark has a heart’

(also was the the kid from iron man 3 in the back?)

VALKYRIE BECOMING KING (queen? i say king but who knows) of new asgard. look at my killing baby all grown up and being the leader they need.

thor becoming a guardian basically.

also was quill looking for his gamora? where was the gamora from this timeline on the ship? she wasn’t there in the scene so idk

also fighting with knives to see whos in charge lol

im glad people mentioned/mourned for nat too

steve rogers

steve.

i knew he wasn’t coming back.

bucky knew it too.

im wreaked

but at least he got his happy ending. he got his peggy (again idk what that does to her timeline)

captain sam wilson america in the house.

(old steve looks like joe biden or is it just me lol)

they ended it with a steggy dance and kiss

it really was a perfect end to his story and it wrapped up his character really well. he got that life he deserved

to chris evans: as this is probably the last time we will see you as captain america let me thank you too for the years and joy that you have brought to my life. youre it for me. you are the reason i became so invested in this world. when you jumped on the fake grenade i was in it with you. chris you are and will always be the best chris in my heart. your passion for this character and understanding of steve rogers and his motivations have created such a memorable performance. steve rogers will always be the og. he will always have my heart. i am so thankful that you took this opportunity and used it and made this character your own. you live up to the standards that steve holds for himself and i am so excited for your future. i am also so glad that you didn’t die in this movie bc i definitely could not have handled it if i had to watch both my favs die. i love you three thousand.

i literally cried throughout the whole movie. there were laughs, cheers, groans, stress, tears, and love throughout this film. i am so grateful that i am alive during this time in cinematic history. there will never be something as great or momentous as this film. a true culmination of 22 films. its never been done and i doubt itll ever be done again

i am also so impressed and amazed by how well this film turned out. it is just amazing how everything fell into place

im sure ill read other people’s reactions and they will bring up points or problematic things that will taint my view on this movie but i dont want that to ruin my own experience

and for me, this was truly emotionally draining and fulfilling. the feeling of being in that theatre with all those people who love the characters as much as i do and experiencing this film for the first time is something i will never forget.

people talk about how they remember lining up for star wars.

well i remember sobbing my eyes out when nat died, cheering along with everyone when cap picked up mjolnir and whipped thanos’s ass with it and when carol and the rest of the badass women of the mcu ready to kick ass, crying with everyone as the light went out in tony’s chest and eyes, watching as history was made in front of our eyes.

and the end credits with the og avengers getting recognition with their photos and autographs.

i love this franchise and these films and these characters i dont know who i would be without them.

one last thing

thank you to the og avengers. steve tony thor nat clint bruce. chris robert chris scarlett jeremy mark. you will always have a special place in my heart. you were there at the start. you were the reason this all could happen you were the reason i became so invested in these movies. you brought these characters to life and embodied them. you are all so much like your characters the casting is perfect. thank you for your dedication to your work to you fans and to your characters. it means so much that you all stuck through this together and that you are such great friends in real life and i can only hope that one day i can be so lucky as to meet you all and thank you in person.

#please dont read if you havent seen the movie i dont want to spoiler anything for anyone #my post #my reaction #mcu reaction #endgame #avengers endgame #avengers endgame spoilers #endgame spoilers #marvel endgame #spoilers #ae tags #ae #the avengers #avengers tags #the og avengers #dont spoil the endgame

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robert-rotwagon-blog · 7 years ago

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Fancast idea now that Disney bought Fox and got the rights for the fantastic four:

Tom Cavanagh as Reed Richards / Mr Fantastic (I dont care that he belongs to DC / CW, he would be the perfect Reed Richards in every possible matter and would just nail the role just as RDJ did with Stark and Benedict with Strange)

and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau as Victor Von Doom / Doctor Doom (He proved himself to be able to play a powerful figure and he has the physique to portray and voice Doom perfectly, and it could even make him a Phase long villain and maybe even replace Loki as everyone’s favorite villain /anti-hero, just like Doom was always supposed to be)

as for the others, I don’t really care. but please, make those 2 happen Marvel

#MCU #fantastic four #tom cavanagh #reed richards #nikolaj coster-waldau #victor von doom

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van-dyne · 7 years ago

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yaaaay you watched heart and souls! (i'm the anon that suggested it) i'm guessing that you liked it since you giffed it lol

I LOVE IT SO MUCH lsJDHLJASD

it’s such a beautiful movie???!!! my heart just 💗💗💗 grows three sizes

I didn’t know what the story is gonna be about at all, only I knew it’s a comedy and people said it has so much heart and it’s uplifting, and IT IS!!!! and I was surprise by the plot, and the relationship between RDJ character and the others. In hindsight you could say it’s a bit chessy and simple, but only in the best possible way!! It works perfectly, and their dynamics are amazing and baby rdj is the cutest babe everrrr and he’s just so gooood he nails it so hard when he’s playing Alfre Woodard character oh my GOD aldksjf and the others as well but that part is my fave I love this movie

#ask #anon #heart and souls 1993 #Anonymous

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silver-stargazing · 7 years ago

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I just got back from seeing Spider-Man: Homecoming and I’m full of so much love right now! I ran around town for a whole hour to try and burn it off but I’m still doing a happy dance back at home.

I want to incoherently ramble about it so I’ll place that under the cut (spoilers and all that). But TL;DR: In my opinion, this is probably the best Spider-Man movie since Spider-Man 2 and the best overall piece of Spidey media since The Spectacular Spider-Man all the way back in 2008 (got so many vibes from that show in this film!).

Alright, spoilers ahoy!

The intro music was literally an orchestral version of the 60s Spider-Man theme. Just fantastic.

I am in love with how relaxed the tone of the film is, especially near the beginning. The way Spidey was just shooting the breeze at some parts, it was kind of reminding me of my favorite parts of Deadpool (honestly, I would’ve liked Deadpool 100x more if it had just been a film about him just hanging around rather than having an actual plot or whatever).

While I will always defend Spider-Man 2 and personally consider it to be my favorite Spider-Man movie, even I will admit it’s not the most accurate depiction of Spider-Man (although it nailed Peter Parker down perfectly). The Amazing Spider-Man film series, meanwhile, had the reverse problem: got Spider-Man down but didn’t really understand Peter Parker. This film understands both aspects of the character brilliantly and uses it to great effect. Like Pete is kind of a dweeb but overall a pretty nice guy who wouldn’t break promises to dead people (still mad at you about that, ASM!) and Spider-Man’s chatty and way too conversational with dangerous people but can be serious in a heart-beat.

They kept on his mask for the vast majority of the film!!! And they usually had a valid reason for why he would take off the mask too!!!!

The shots recreating classic comic book frames...they were gorgeous. The shot of Spider-Man lifting up the rubble on top of him like in ASM #33 and the half Spider-Man/half Peter Parker imagery especially were well handled.

Again I say, so many Spectacular Spider-Man vibes. The diversity of the cast, the wonderful handling of characters relationships, sneaking in more comic book characters than you can shake a stick at, using Coney Island as part of an action set piece (OK every Spider-Man media uses that place but still)!

They kept up the long and proud tradition of having Spider-Man villains, no matter how odd it may seem, always having some close personal connection with Spider-Man. Ditko would be so mad but I love it!

Adding to that, they averted a trope that needs to die anyway: Superhero movie villains always die. Michael Keaton made it out alive and I am so grateful! I kept eyeing those turbines on the plane and getting Incredibles flashbacks. Like you can’t do this to me, movie. Not after all we’ve been through.

Michael Keaton really needs that Oscar. He was intimidating as heck in some scenes and yet I still cared so much that his character made it out alive. And he didn’t even need to be too over-the-top like William Dafoe or Topher Grace when playing the villain. It all felt very natural and thus way more creepy.

The use of lighting and sound during those scenes right before homecoming. That was like something out of an indie gang movie or something. One wrong move and Pete would’ve gotten his face smashed in by Ryan Gosling from Drive!

The comedy. oh my lord the comedy was amazing! Spider-Man running through a golf course at night and subverting the normal trope of Spidey running in an alley and ripping open his shirt to reveal the Spidey suit by having Peter very awkwardly strip down. The line deliveries by Tom Holland especially made some jokes that would’ve otherwise been duds work so well.

Tony Stark ends this film way too happy. I’m very worried about his future in Infinity War.

Chris Evans gives a beautiful send-up to phoning it in with those PSAs (even more hilarious as at one point RDJ literally phones in his performance). You can tell everyone involved had a blast making those PSAs and this whole film in general.

The gym teacher who has stopped giving any cares about everything. “I guess he’s a war criminal now but the state requires I show you this video anyway”. Where is this man’s spin-off? I want to follow this teacher around on his misadventures.

Only 3 complaints: 1) music wasn’t incredibly memorable. Not bad, just kind of forgettable 2) I really did like the character of Michelle. She had funny quips, was pretty charming and the reveal of who her character was is handled nicely. But at the end of the day, what did she contribute to the plot? She was just kind of there at every bad situation, made a quip about Peter and Ned being losers and then would disappear until further quipping was required. Sure, she helped win the decathlon but that ended up not mattering too much at the end of the day. And to be fair, making jokes and doing art and generally not doing much else isn’t too far off from original MJ’s characterization but still I hope they involve her more with the plot next time. and 3) Is there a specific reason why they can’t mention Uncle Ben? Is he banned from canon? Are they afraid people will say this is an origin story again if they so much as say the word “Uncle”? Because you can mention him movie. We all remember Spider-Man’s origins. It’s OK to mention Ben Parker in passing.

I’m just so grateful for how overall light this movie was. While it did a lot to recreate some of the darker themes from the earlier Lee/Ditko era of Spider-Man, I felt like I was also getting a more lighter and fluffier Lee/Romita comic as well (I love the Silver Age of Comics! Can you tell?) and I loved the great mix of the light and dark parts of Spider-Man’s history.

Hey I just realized they used The Ramones a lot through out the movie and Joey Ramone did the theme song to the 1990′s animated show! Coincidence???? Probably

I love being reminded of why I love this character and his world so much and I need to stop rambling but this is a really great film and a wonderful Spider-Man movie!

#stargazer rambles #like waaaayy too much #sorry it's been too long since I've seen a good solo Spider-Man movie and everytime I see one my heart grows three sizes #and I ramble like an incoherent person about why I love the Spider-Man comics and media so much! because I do! So much!#Spider-Man was probably my first hyper-fixation on a franchise. Where I had to know everything about the backstories #why certain characters were written in this way and the history of the publications and all that crazy jazz #so it feels good to remember why I got obsessed with Spider-Man to begin with #stargazer won't shut up about comics!#spider-man #spider-man: homecoming #spider-man spoilers

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smokeybrandreviews · 7 years ago

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Smokey brand Movie Reviews: I larb You

Just as kind of a disclaimer, I want to openly state I am a Spider-Man fanboy so this review is a little biased. However, if you tone down my invariable gushing, you’re left with a strong recommendation for a film that just happens to be about my all-time favorite Superhero. Take what I have to say with a grain of salt, but understand that you should definitely see this film. Definitely. See. This. Film. Now, that aside, can we just take a minute to appreciate how goddamn beautiful Maris Tomei is?

Hot Aunt May is confusing the sh*t out of my inner child, man...

The Best

Tom Holland IS Spider-Man. Seriously, this kid is to Perter Parker as RDJ is to Iron Man and it’s goddamn Amazing. All of the puns intended. He did a great job as Pete and that’s the point. Unlike McGuire or Garfield kind of played the characters of Peter and Spider-Man differently, Holland doesn’t. He’s Pete in the mask and out and I found that ridiculously refreshing. That’s who Spider-Man is. That’s who Spider-Man should be. He’s a 15 year old kid trying to figure things out. He might eventually become that hero everyone knows around the neighborhood but he’s not there yet and Holland does a fantastic job of portraying that. Kid did a fantastic job and I hope Sony understands that they NEED Marvel at this point. Fingers crossed.

Bro, Michael Keaton as Adrian Toomes is arguably the best villain in the MCU. He legitimately gave Hiddleston’s Loki a run for his money, I kid you not. It was surreal how menacing this cat was while being ridiculously sympathetic. Like, he didn’t want to BE the Vulture, circumstances FORCED him to be and you feel that immediately. Keaton played it brilliantly, particularly in that car ride scene. You’ll know it when you see it. Cat was f*cking ominously charming. Like, I’d say he was about as good as Ledger’s Joker but I think I’d be overselling that a little, mostly because the tone of the films is so different. But, for what Homecoming was, Keaton was about as good as Ledger was for The Dark Knight.

Dat overall casting, tho! Marvel has a way with casting their characters that’s almost perfect. Literally everyone in this film fits the role they need to portray perfectly. There were standouts and I’ll get to them shortly, but goddamn! Marvel is just too good at making the right choices for their roles. It’s borderline uncanny and I don’t understand why Fox won’t let them have FF back. It’s obvious they’ll do them justice.

The Better

Dem Easter Eggs, tho!

Zendaya was outstanding as “Michelle”. She wasn’t in the film much but the time she had was used to maximum effect. After Holland and Keaton, she’s easily my favorite character in this movie. Easily. I hope she does more stuff from here on out because, after her role in this flick, I must say, I am a Zandaya fan.

I adored Marisa Tomei as Aunt may. She owned that role and gave us take on May we haven’t seen. Young, hot, may is in now and I’m all for it. To be honest, I never understood why May was so old. Like, how old was Pee’s dad? Cats have to understand, much like the rest of the current MCU, this film is based heavily on the more grounded take of Marvel’s Ultimate universe, which is wild since they folded that line a few years back. In that universe, May isn’t a goddamn octogenarian but she ain’t Marisa Tomei either. This take makes more sense. Marisa Tomei made more sense in that world and he made a nice little place for herself in it.

All that diversity was f*cking dope to see. I’m glad Marvel decided to actually make a high school movie where the kids in high school actually look like kids in high school. Hollywood has a hard time doing that but Homecoming kind of nailed it. I bought that Pete was on the Decathlon team. I bought the requisite Gym class scene. I bought that Flash was a dick because he’s just kind of a dick.

The cameos in this film are mad dope. They all shine for one reason or another but the standouts, to me, were Donald Glover and Hannibal Burress. I don’t want to spoil their roles and they weren’t in the film as much as I’d like them to have been but they made magic with the limited time they did have. Glover’s character in particular has some potential ramifications for the entirety of the MCU that I’m not going to get into but trust, if you’re a Spider-Fan, you’ll understand what I’m talking about.

Homecoming does its best impression of a John Hughes film and it shows. There is literally a scene lifted directly from one of Hughes’ bigger hits, and then they reference THAT scene IN the middle of THEIR scene! Meta stuff like that kind of litters this film but it’s never intrusive or overstays it’s welcome. There is a pitch to this flick that’s nailed perfectly.

The Good

Dat Iron-Spider, tho!

While I applaud Marvel’s take on modernizing a flagship title with actual, American, diversity, I was a little disappointed there wasn’t more screen time for certain characters. Like, it never comes off as tokenism but I think there should have been a bit more emphasis on the POC characters. Not much but more.

It’s good to see RDJ and Favreau in their iconic, respective, roles. I didn’t know I missed Happy Hogan as much as I did until he was onscreen.

Bokeem Woodbine did a serviceable job as Shocker. I thought he was a bit too much hench-goon but he did what he could with that limited role. Same with the cat who played the Tinkerer, Michael Chernus I think is what his name is.

The direction was outstanding. You can tell there was a vision and John Watts does a superb job of guiding it to it’s inevitable brilliance. I knew dude was a decent director but I wasn’t sure a marquee cape flick was his cup of tea. I mean, dude made Clown and Cop Car, bother excellent movies but so far from Homecoming’s tone, it’s laughable. But, I must say, dude surprised. He did a great job helming this film and I look forward to what he has in store next. I read somewhere they wanted to do a Harry Potter type situation where every film is another year in school and I’m so okay with that. Make it happ’n, cap’n!

This is a legitimately beautiful film. The way it’s shot, the way it’s framed, all of that epic scale and cinematography; Kudos to Salvatore Totino. He did a fantastic job.

Sony did right by Web-Head. Marvel was able to craft one helluva tale and it fits perfectly in-universe. As long as Sony doesn’t get greedy, and they might because this thing made 15 million in A night, there is a beautiful future on the horizon for these films. Fingers crossed Sony decided against their stupid f*cking Spider-Verse and just seeds Marvel them rights because, seriously, if o can take a villain as goofy as the Vulture and turn him into what he was in this film, you know what the f*ck you’re doing.

The Verdict

Overall, there isn’t much wrong with this film. Is it perfect? No. But it’s damn close. Flick is sitting at a 93 on Rotten Tomatoes right now and it earns the f*ck out of that rating. It’s every bit a 93. That has it as the second highest rated comic flick on the site! Go f*cking see Spider-man: Homecoming. See it twice. Give the Disney overlords all of your money so they make more of these flicks. It was so good, man. I can’t stress how awesome this movie was, how awesome these characters are. They nailed Spider-Man. They nailed Spider-Man’s world. I’ll probably see this film two more times, at least, and the last movie is aw that many times was The Dark Knight., Spider-Man Homecoming is seriously, objectively, unbiased, that f*cking good. It’s an outstanding Cape flick and a great f*cking movie, overall.

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