#but Jack is obviously in place of Go and Mary is in place of Kei all 🫥

[no1ryomafan]

I know Texas Mach appeared in toei but idk any context to them besides they originally were dicks but I was rotating in my head how svn Ryoma never interacted with Jack and I just realized how fucking hilarious that would’ve been given how Jack talks to Go and also how my stupid SVN au has Ryoma have a chicken 💀

[victorianpining]

What music/score choices would you have made in From A Drop Of Water if it was a real filmed season? 👀 the score episode of tjlc explained was always one of my faves and I was curious how you would’ve carried those motifs through!! (Also your playlists for the fic are So Good!! I’ve been listening to them so much!)

P.s. I hope you know your retrospective has launched me fully back into gay- brainrot mode after five years lmaoo, it’s been really fun!! (Also I knew nothing about BBC Dracula going into it and. I think I’ve lost my mind. What The Fuck. They really did that!?!?!?!! Anyway. I hope you have a wonderful day!! Can’t wait to see what you do next!💕)

Ooh interesting question! I have actually have a LOT of thoughts about this (way more than I thought I would when I started writing this answer) so I'm going to put most of the answer under the cut. Before then I'll say I'm glad you enjoyed the playlists and the retrospective! And man Dracula sure is A Show isn't it? (and thank you I am very excited to continue creating!!)

Onto Way Too Many Thoughts About A Hypothetical Score:

So in The Six Thatchers, Opportunities is working kind of as a camouflage for Moriarty so you don't hear his score, except it's also a giveaway since Moriarty is kind of the only character to be consistently associated with soundtrack songs and the lyrics are pretty obviously him. (The soundtrack songs also hopefully serve to make him kind of feel outside the rules of the narrative, since written pieces don't usually have soundtracks. I wanted all the music woven through his scenes to make him feel just slightly Off, he is the virus in the data after all).

Anyway, all that lead in to say that when Mary is walking through the college by herself, I think you'd hear the John or James music again, subtly bringing back that dilemma for her character before it gets overtaken by the lyrics talking about someone doctoring in mathematics, programming computers, and choosing the perfect crime for the perfect situation.

On the rooftop scene at the end of TST I'd want to do a version of the music playing in the Reichenbach roof scene to make that connection more blatant and kind of show you how far they've come since then.

And then for the big reveal at the end of the episode you'd finally get Moriarty's music along with a new play on The Fall theme, the one we have is good but I'd want something less overwhelming and more insidious, more intimate, and still just as unnerving. This new version of that theme is gonna be play for a few other important moments.

As an example, I wouldn't want it to be the same song but I think probably if there were a musical motif for Devil's Foot it should be in the same key or structured similarly as the new fall theme, again just making the connection more explicit, this drug burns out people's sanity, Moriarty is trying to burn out Sherlock's heart, he wants Sherlock to make the same choice as Jack but if he doesn't he plans to force his hand.

John or James music would come back on The Dorian when Mary shows up, I'm basically turning that into Mary's theme.

Then the shack! I think you want no music for that, right? Like all focus should be on what's being said and the silences between and it should feel so close that you can even hear them breathing. I would bring in some music outside when John asks if Sherlock has ever had a boyfriend. That would be a good place to have a subdued version of Sherlock's theme, and maybe, if you could get away with it, you could even call back to the Private Life theme in the score subtly. (Copyright might make that an issue though).

Ideally you'd have the same music playing for both versions of the scene with Sherlock and Culverton, maybe with some new instrumentation in the second version to reflect the new information you have at that point. Then Sherlock opens the box and we get that new fall theme, I'd have it building and building while John reacts to what's happening until you finally get the reveal of what Moriarty wants. And then just keep the intensity going until John finally manages to calm Sherlock down, then either bring in their themes or just let it sit without any music, the calm before the storm.

I have the most ideas for TFP. The first scene of TFP is obviously going to be Moriarty and Mycroft's themes. Like when the stranger comes through the door you hear Mycroft's little motif notes and along with everything else it's just another tip off that you already know who it is.

Back in Baker Street you have that fall theme playing in the background while Sherlock is freaking out, and then when John is alone puzzling over the box you'd hear the danger version of his theme, he's the answer to the puzzle and he doesn't even know it.

There are a lot of directions you could take the music for the scene with Sherlock and Moriarty. I'd probably call back to the music from Reichenbach scene, maybe with more hints of that new version of the Fall theme. When Sherlock realizes there's a fire that would be a good time to bring back the music from the fire scene in TEH, or some music from the pool scene, kind of just musically showing this is all an escalation from something we've already scene.

When Mycroft turns back up you should be hearing Moriarty's theme in the background.

Then when they're on the run again you just bring back those Moriarty and Fall themes, keeping that uneasy feeling going. I'd probably put in a subtle callback to Irene's theme when they arrive at the hotel in Paris since in the film version you couldn't have the line about the furniture reminding John of her house and that's kind of an equivalent hint.

Once Don't Stop Me Now dies out, I'd leave it quiet until Sherlock offers himself up, when you'd get a sad version of John's theme. Then when John offers to stab himself, you'd get a sad version of Sherlock's, until Moriarty gets a hold of him and that slowly morphs into the new fall theme, maybe with the Sherlock music still playing, since both John and Jim are after motivated by their feelings for him in that moment. You'd get a version of the Johnlock theme when Sherlock pulls John back up which would keep playing, slowly getting more hopeful as John has his revelation, but it's interrupted when Mycroft shows up.

Back in Baker Street I would want the music to build very slowly and very subtly. It should feel just like pieces falling into place without you really noticing the shift, like the music was always playing, just like it was a love story the whole time. And it would culminate in that perfect blending of John and Sherlock's themes that is both understated and triumphant. For the epilogue I'd have that same music but with the instrumentation they used for the TAB version of the title theme.

And as one final touch, I'd give The Empty Hearse members a musical motif that is a version of All The Woman from TAB.

[lucasbarr]

Ok so I was thing about Sam and his blurry wife and I kinda got excited about Dean Jr? Im shocked myself…here are just some ramble-y thoughts about it!

Feat: History repeating itself, a bit of OOCness thanks to the after affect of Chuck’s control, and grizzled hunter Eileen!

I am dubbing this the Blurryverse!

The Story

At the end of the story, Sam closes up the bunker and tries to put hunting behind him. He settles down with Blurry WifeTM and lives in the suburbs (probably in like Palo Alto or Pleasanton? OH if he lives in Palo Alto he could be haunted by THEE ghost of one Jessica Lee Moore!)

Sam, Blurry WifeTM, and fam are not officially haunted by the ghost of Jessica Moore… Just because I’m a horrible person and I think it’s funny, Blurry WifeTM is killed by a demon when Dean Jr is four, his little sister Jody Charlie is two, and his youngest sister Mary Jessica is six months.

Sam makes an Azazel-type deal to resurrect Dean and Blurry WifeTM pays the price.

Dean Sr obviously thinks that Sam has lost his mind to make a demon deal to resurrect him. Especially if the price was a demon feeding his child demon blood. The fact that his wife died in the process makes Dean think Sam has gone off the deep end. Sam obviously doesn’t think so and is happy to have his brother back nonetheless.

Dean begins to worry that Sam is going to raise his children like their father, this is the last thing Dean wants for those kids. They’re so young and Dean is worried they’ll end up like him. He feels pity for his brother, now a widow, having to raise 4-year-old Dean, two-year-old Jody Charlie, and six-month-old Mary.

Though this pity fades the more Dean learns how his resurrection came to be.

While Sam was mooing about and living suburbia, he and Ash manage to crack the code for people to escape Heaven. Sam was making demon deals while Dean and Ash were helping people take the express path down to Earth. Dean helps Ash, knowing how to get down there, when suddenly he’s waking up in his own body somewhere in…the suburbs of California?

Things are a bit weird between Sam and Dean with Sam being a bit dogey about the details of his resurrection. He also doesn’t seem the least bit interested to hear about all the people that were resurrected — including Jo, Charlie, and Kevin! He is a bit disturbed and saddened to learn about Jess though. Especially when he learns that Sam hasn’t put her out of her misery yet…that he’s just been holding onto her ghost.

When Dean finds out that Sam allowed a demon to infect his six-month-old daughter Mary Jr, he leaves (with the keys to the Bunker). He’s disgusted with how far his little brother has fallen. He goes to find those friends of theirs that were resurrected and runs into Eileen, the Banes Twins (of whom, Alicia has been restored to a human by Jack) and Krissy and her friends).

Ellen reopens the roadhouse with the help of Bobby, Rufus, and Eileen. It’s a hit with hunters, as is the Bunker. With Bobby’s house in ruins, he takes up residence at the Bunker. Rufus, Charlie, Dean, Eileen, and a bunch of other hunters rotate through its numerous rooms. While there, the gang help Dean to rescue Cas and a few other angels from the Empty.

So yeah, history repeats itself with Sam raising his children the way he was raised.

Instead of staying in motels all the time, however, Sam’s kids spend a lot of time at their Uncle Dean and Castiel’s place, like how Sam and Dean spent time at Bobby’s. They also end up staying at Jody’s, Bobby’s, or Claire and Kaia’s places as well. Basically anyone who knows Sam will take these kids in while he goes on his never ending hunt for the thing that killed his wife.

Though it’s less about his wife and more about running from his responsibilities…

Sam’s kids have a much healthier relationship with their family and hunting than Sam and Dean did. They know they have a living family and they will never have to know the hardships (well some of them) that Sam and Dean did growing up. They have a semi-stable education (sans the moving), presents on birthdays, and all of them will end up graduating.

The only thing that’s different is that Sam gets back together with Eileen when DJ is 8, JC is 6, and MJ is 4. She didn’t marry anyone and eventually bought the reinvented Roadhouse from Ellen when she decided to retire. She is popular with the other hunters and is quite a fan of Ellen’s.

Eileen becomes a mother-figure to Sam’s kids. DJ is in-different to her at first, not really wanting a mother. Jody and Mary are much more receptive to her and she loved doting on them. They learn ASL from here and learn how to have some more stability in their lives. Sam eventually enters a relationship with Eileen again and they settle down.

Things are good until Sam and Eileen go missing when DJ is in his last year of college.

Dean Jr has left hunting in the rear view, just like his father before him. He’s cut all contact with his father, his uncles, and his step-mother. He barely talks to his you younger sisters and that’s only because he still loves them — despite the fact they’re both hunters. Everything seems to be going fine until Jody Jr shows up and delivers Dean’s namesake’s famous line.

History doesn’t repeat itself but it surely does rhyme…

Though unlike Sam, DJ’s hunt is truly one and done. He goes on the hunt and catches the bad guy but unlike his namesake, he puts himself first. He gets back to school, makes his own graduate school interview and graduates, leaving hunting in the rear view.

He leaves it up to Jody Jr and Mary Jr to find their parents and discover what’s truly going on.

Dean John “DJ” Winchester

I do like the name Dean John Winchester so that’s what I’m dubbing him. Except he hates his name! Dean Jr insists on going by DJ and only DJ. Because of Sam’s whole complex with Dean at the end of the story I’m thinking in this post-canon universe he projects hard into DJ, trying to rekindle what he had with his older brother. Despite this, he adores his Uncle Dean.

Dean Sr is the only that DJ let’s call him by his first name.

In this regard, I think Dean Jr is a lot like his father was as at his age, rebellious and snarky. Though his younger sisters would describe him more along the lines of being arrogant and stubborn. He is often the exasperated voice of reason when it comes to his relationship with his father and siblings.

DJ argues with his father constantly whenever they are together. His father became fixated on vengeance after his Uncle’s death but still held out hope he could get him back. When he did, things got better but Sam was never quite right. He always kept looking for the next monster to burry his troubles in. DJ just wanted a happy family, like he had in his childhood.

His problems with authority aren’t limited to his father. DJ is extremely smart and very knowledgeable about technology. Because this his intellect, DJ wants to go into cyber security. Although, he has a habit hacking websites to take down corrupt individuals and organizations for fun. That being said, DJ can be quite kind and empathetic, when it comes to anyone other than his father.

He values his family's safety over anything else. DJ and Jody Jr bond over their love of gaming and tv shows. DJ also has a taste for electro-pop and left politics. He and Eileen share a love of languages and knife collecting.

DJ is also agnostic despite his ‘older brother’ being God. He is skeptical with regard to the ‘good aspects of religion’, knowing how that worked out for his family. Unlike his namesake, DJ is not good with kids. While he knows how to handle his siblings, he doesn’t much care for other people’s kids. He is also quite intelligent and of Sam’s kids, prefers to research over actively hunting. He also dabbles in witchcraft and has learned a lot from his Aunt Rowena.

Jody Charlie “JC” Winchester

Jody is unapologetically and authentically herself. An out and proud lesbian, Jody is very outspoken about LGBTQ+ rights. She also quite brave and a self-confident young woman. She’s a practicing witch and the protégée of her Aunt Rowena.

Jody Jr is openly flirtatious yet she very often avoids emotional intimacy. In her relationships, JC seeks to conceal much about herself. She puts up a laid-back and well-disposed persona, playing off her want for affection and validation. She often covers for this with crude humor, pop culture references, and her use of Internet slang. She developed a light-hearted demeanor that belied how ruthless she could be.

Jody often feigns a warm and sweet disposition towards others in order to manipulate them and gain their trust. Growing up, many prior thought she was somewhat timid and could be easily intimidated. She used this image to her advantage to get what she wants. She takes great pride in her deceit and devious nature.

JC has witty, sarcastic sense of humor that she used to tease and banter with others. She tries to act nonchalant even under tense conditions, such as the threat of death. Despite this, she had a tendency to make light of tense situations.

She has a fondness for classic horror films and westerns. JC also enjoys uncomplicated things in life, such as good food and television. She also often relies on magic for basically everything, often to her detriment. Despite putting on a tough exterior, Jody Jr is barely keeping it together on a good day.

Mary Jessica “MJ” Winchester

Mary Jr, or MJ, is the baby of the group and the most unpredictable. Born a psychic, Mary possessed many of her father’s powers and mental fortitude. However, unlike her siblings, MJ is cheerful and energetic. She likes to look on the bright side and is a happy-go-lucky girl.

She strives to make friends with her fellow hunters and everyone she meets. MJ is kind-hearted girl who always supports her siblings endeavors. bonds. She is very carefree and tends to slack off on hunts.

MJ has a very strong sense of perseverance and is very determined. Though this leads to her being quite reckless and she is often getting herself into messes that her siblings have to fix. Despite this her positive, can-do attitude tends to rub off on those around her.

Due to her usual positive nature, however, she tends to hide her more sensitive side, and tries hard to not cry when she is frustrated, as she feels it would drag down others' morale if they were to see her sad. MJ is also an avid fan of podcasts, particularly those on cold cases and unsolved murders. She and her dad been me over their love of these.

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. CII

It was a love story from the very beginning.

The Bad Joke and The Scoobynatural

(13x14/13x15)

Hello there!!! This time I'm gonna talk about one of the most OOC episodes ever and one of our favs episodes Scoobynatural. I put them together bc one was so bad I needed some fresh air. Hehehehe.

Let's start!

So OOC that hurts...

Episode 13x15 "A Most Holly Man" was written by Dabb but also by Robert Singer.

This episode was odd, with easy bad jokes, and OOC. It also had Wincest subtext, and it was very messy.

If you rewatch the entire season, this episode seems to be out of context. If they've wouldn't put the search for the element they needed for the spell, it could have been passed as an episode from another show.

I could write more criticism, but let's just talk about little pieces of dialogue that worked as clues, I'm very sure it were put by Dabb (even if I dislike his writing) more than Singer.

The three elements the gangsters wanted to get were:

Incense: Is used by christian rituals to elevate prayers and gifts from the parishioners to God. This could be speaking of Chuck coming in the next season.

Chalice: The chalice represents sacrifice for christianity. The Holt Blood of Jesus Christ that have his life for humanity. So, is talking about a future huge sacrifice. It could be taken for Dean and his Mal'ak box or Castiel in 15x18.

Skull: it's related to death, and it could be speaking of Mary Winchester death in season 14.

Another little take from this episode was this little piece of dialogue:

MARGARET: Oh, don’t thank me yet. Greenstreet has all the trappings of a gentleman, but… I would advise caution.

Okay subtle, but not that much. The last name is a combination of two words GREEN and STREET, it's obviously related to Dean, and the quote after this 'has all the trappings is a gentleman, but... I would advise caution." It's obviously talking about AUMichael!Dean.

A brief comment about the Wincest subtext... We had Sam flirting with Margaret and Dean showing signs of jealousy, it could be taken as annoyance, but, because is Singer involved, I would say it was intentionally written to be Wincest subtext. And after this we had Dean flirting... Super out of character, with a brunette... With a lame excuse... Unnecessary. But it worked to make this time Sam the jealous one. Connecting the drops, my dears...

Dean has faith again and the distracting rubbing lips...

In this episode we can also rescue another good points as Dean declaring he has faith. Remember at the beginning of the season he was lost and faithless, I ask myself what could happen to make Dean to recover his faith???

Oh yes, Cas is back.

Then the rubbing lips... We had the same gesture from Cas in the previous episode, so, I wrote two entire metas about how Dabb team used the hands to show foreshadow. So I truly thought Dean and Cas would kiss... Hehehehe. It could fit perfectly, but nah.

This episode also talked about how a priest, a righteous, a saint man, was trying to get the most precious thing for his community.

Trying to get back the most important thing he had, willing to make any sacrifice for it, it's the same would lead Dean to say 'yes' to Michael. When Lucifer kidnaps Sam and Jack.

(This could be just nice because family, and because Dean raised Sam, so Sam represents a son and such, but, because is Singer... Wincest again.)

Another piece of dialogue I found is the following...

FATHER LUCCA: (...)And what your brother’s doing, it’s a good thing.

DEAN: Yeah, or a stupid thing.

FATHER LUCCA: Or both. Many times, they can be the same.

This is telling Castiel's name, Because Dean is always asking him not to do stupid things.

Another foreshadow was Father Lucca talking about Lying is wrong, is a sin. This was the preamble to one of the most revealing episode that will bring Chuck back. The episode in which Jack erase the ability of telling lies in the whole world population.

Dean's cave meaning and visual narrative.

Episode 13x16 was full of symbolism, and is one of my fav episodes.

At first, we had Dean fighting against a huge green dinosaur, practically a monster in green. Just like the Squirrel/Godzilla in one t-shirt we'll see in episode 14x04, is representing DEAN, his inner photography of himself. He sees himself as a monster.

Everytime we see SCOOBY-DOO in Supernatural, it's related to Dean's innocence and purity. Those qualities on him will be the key to release him from his emotional prison in season 14.

Visual Narrative in Dean's cave

Let's talk about the Dean's cave. When Dean says to Sam "Be like Elsa, let it be," he's referring here to the most deepest feelings and fears. Elsa released what she had tried to repress her entire life, her powers. And once she accepted what she really was, she was really free.

This will happen to Dean too, the process had just started. Now that he got Cas back, and now that deep inside he had accepted he can't live without the angel, he will slowly be able to embrace his bisexuality, to accept who he really is. The climax of this metamorphosis it's gonna be describer through the whole season 14. It's the birth of Healing!Dean.

Dean's cave represents that. First of all I want you to know that the Dean's cave had been made to watch movies with Castiel. It's subtextually displayed by the location of the two couches and the color of the lights in front of them: RED AND BLUE. Those are Dean and Castiel's places. That place had been built to share time with his angel.

Gif credit @out-in-the-open

Fred and Daphne were Dean's bisexuality representation.

Mostly than Dean having a crush over the two characters (openly with Daphne and repressed over Fred) both characters were representing Dean's bisexuality (just like Pamela and himself in Rocky's bar and his friend and the waitress in 15x07).

When they had to team up (just like in 14x04) we had Sam and Vilma represented the insight, the intelligence. (Just like Sam and Sam). Castiel pairing up with Yaggy and Scooby, the innocence and the talking dog, the most precious thing for Dean. (Remember Dean would take a bullet for that dog, that's why Cas was compared several times in season 12 with a dog, and that's why Dean follows him anywhere to keep him safe after suffering his lost).

Gif set credit @gentleman-demon

Finally, the bisexual team Dean with Fred and Daphne. In one opportunity Dean asks Daphne what does she sees in a man. Without mentioning she loves ascots, what this symbolically represents is Dean asking to his female side what she really likes to see in man. And we have Fred related to blue color, as a switch mirror with Castiel. Also because Daphne describes the perfect man as STRONG AND HONEST. Which are characteristics related to Castiel.

Castiel's entrance a la 4x01 and the dinosaur in love

Castiel enters in the mansion the same way he did in 4x01, stormy, mysteriously, and bright.

Immediately after his entrance, we had this weird dialogue...

DEAN: It's a book we're writing. Yeah, about...killer stuffed dinosaurs. It's called...

CASTIEL: "The Killer Stuffed Dinosaur in Love."

FRED: Huh. Great title.

SCOOBY: Yeah. Great title.

"It's a book we are writing " this is very meaningful Because, the book they're writing despite the one Chuck is writing, is Team Free Will, but... We are talking about DESTIEL. Dean and Cas are writing their own story... Why? Because when they mention the title of that book is... The KILLER (Do you remember REGARDING DEAN? another brief appearence of Scooby Doo and Dean's innocence? In which Rowena told him he was a killer? So yes, Dean sees himself as a killer, that's why the image of a monster, a green DINOSAUR, and huge Godzilla Squirrel... But this KILLER GREEN DINOSAUR has a very important characteristic HE IS IN LOVE. DEAN IS IN LOVE, as he confessed in 14x12.

Do I have to explain how writers connect d Castiel's first entrance in 4x01 with this book they're writing as they go? The book is named DESTIEL.

Jealous!Castiel and the little scared ghost boy

I loved the scene in which Daphne freshly confesses Dean grabbed the ghost by the thigh and immediately Cas shows his jealousy over that.

Gif set credit @tearsofgrace

But There's another almost at the end of the episode in which Dean mentions his affair with the Cartwright Twins and Cas asks about that, and Dean's face is priceless. Because if CAS would just represent a friend to him, he were absolutely explaining to him what happened with those twins, but he didn't. Why? Because Castiel is not just a friend. Castiel is Dean's love interest. So... Better not to talk about it.

Gif set credit @sssssssim

But let's jump over the symbolism of the trapped child ghost.

BOY: I'm not. I never wanted to hurt anyone. But the bad man, he makes me.

CASTIEL: The bad man?

BOY: His name is Jay.

I want to point here we are inside of Dean's head as you've noticed so far, so... Velma is Dean's intelligence and reason, and is linked with Sam (just like in episode 14x04 in which we had the scooby-doo box opening the locked door). Yaggy and Scooby are the innocence and love, part of Dean and linked to Castiel. And Daphne and Fred are Dean's bisexuality. But There's another huge character inside of him THE MONSTER. The monster, the one he has to defeat, is represented by JOHN WINCHESTER'S TOXIC HERITAGE AND AUMICHAEL, they're part of his toxicity, his rage, his violence. The little ghost here is all the good inside of Dean, his childhood, his innocence, but the bad man who obligates him to kill, it's his inner monster. So this is a war between TOXIC!DEAN and HEALING!DEAN as we will see in season 14.

BOY: When I died, my soul was tied to a pocketknife. My dad gave it to me. It meant everything. When Jay found me, he used me to...Sometimes, I get so angry I break things, hurt people.

John Winchester's toxic heritage implies the GUILT. So, Dean's soul is tied to that GUILT. Jay represents AUMichael here, when AUMichael finds this tool, the guilt, he uses it against Dean to control him. The boy says he gets angry, he breaks things and hurts people. He's describing perfectly Dean's toxicity. His violence. We will see it in this season but also, at the end of season 14.

To Conclude:

In episode 13x15 we had a very OOC bad episode, but with a few clues for foreshadows.

Episode 13x16 was a travel through Dean's innocence, inner thoughts and repressed feelings. It's a preamble to Healing!Dean season and how Dean will be able to break free from his emotional prison, defeating his inner monster.

Hope you liked this meta, see you in the next one!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @2musiclover2 @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @destiels-canonahhhhhhhhhh

If you want to be added or removed from this list just let me know.

If you wanna read the previous metas from season 13 here you have the links...

Vol. XCIII, XCIV, XCV, XCVI, XCVII, XCVIII, XCIX, C, CI.

Buenos Aires, February 28 2020, 2:23 PM

[harringrovetrashrat]

(We discussed this a lot in the discord, so props to the gang for this.  A group effort, it was.  Here are my musings about that Hocus Pocus AU.  Tagging @ihni and @pondermoniums just uh,,, cuz y’all were interested in this kinda thing 👀)

So obviously Billy is Max and Max is Dani (lol).  Like, obviously.

And they’ve moved and Billy is just over it because this town is boring, these people are boring, and who takes Halloween this seriously anymore besides fucking nerds and kids?  A whole town being into it?  Like, what fucking even.

And witches???  Really???  Fucking please.  Billy knows there’s no such thing.  Knows that these people are just whirled up in some sort of town wide fantasy.  And he definitely says as much.  Gets in trouble for it, too.  But, it does get someone to notice him.

The only thing Billy’s even remotely enjoyed in this town is Steve Harrington.  Rich prep boy with really soft looking hair and big eyes that Billy just wants to stare into for ages and long fingers and that pale skin.  Steve is snickering as Billy gets his talking to, rolling his eyes with a smile when Billy shoots him a wink.

Billy leaves on Halloween ready to hole up at home and ignore everyone and everything, especially his annoying brat of a sister.  Of course, on the way home, he runs into Tommy and Adam.  (Tommy is ICE, I don’t make the rules.)  And they’re all Hey, California, nice jacket/earring/etc.  Billy barely entertains it, considers popping Tommy in the jaw, but instead he just skates home.  Goes up to his room and flops onto the bed.

“Steve,” he murmurs.  “Steve Harrington with the delicious peach.” Billy sighs, dragging his hands over his face.  “And what a peach…”

“Boo!” Max jumps outta his closet and Billy jack knifes on the bed before jerking up, red faced.

“MAX!  I told you not to come in my fucking room!”

“Yeah, whatever.  Mom said you have to take me trick or treating.” Billy scoffs.

“No fucking way.”

“She’s going to a party hosted by the mayor--”

“Don’t care--”

“--And she doesn’t want me to go alone, even though I could--”

“Still don’t care--”

“--And I need someone to carry my haul--”

“How is this my problem?” And Max snaps her mouth shut, glaring, before opening her mouth and,

“MOM!”

(Susan moved Billy and Max here to get away from Neil and that’s that on that mmkay)

Needless to say, Billy has a hoodie under his jacket with the hood pulled up because he cannot be seen carting his sister around to trick or treat.  How lame.  Gets shit from Tommy and Adam, who try to steal Max’s candy, but get a broom to the crotch.  Max ain’t playing around, and while she doesn’t need Billy to protect her, he kinda can’t help it.  Pops one of ‘em in the eye and bolts, Max cackling as she follows him.  And they keep on going, Billy’s hood down now at least, before getting to this massive house with a party.  And Max knocks and Billy stands behind her, staring off, when suddenly,

“Well, if it isn’t Mr. I-Hate-Halloween.” And Billy’s head whips around and Steve is there in some fancy ass Victorian garb all ruffles and coiffed hair and tight fucking breeches--

“Harrington, right?” Cuz Billy’s gotta play it casual.  Gotta be cool.  And Max raises a brow, smirking, as Steve hands her a lollipop and stands there, biting his lip before asking,

“Wanna come in for a bit?  This party is fucking boring.” And Billy isn’t gonna look a gift horse in the mouth.  Max frowns.

“But--”

“I’ll let you take as much candy as you want,” Steve offers, face only lightly flushed.  Max shoots in the house, grabbing fistfuls from the frankly enormous bowl of candy.  Billy steps in, hands in his pockets.  He looks around giving a low whistle.

“Well well, Harrington,” Billy says.  “Fancy ass home you’ve got here.”

“I mean-- It’s my parents’ place.  Technically.” Steve scratches his nose and Max comes over.  “That’s a pretty dope witch costume.”

“Thanks,” she replies.  “I like yours.  Billy likes, now wait,” she hums, licking the lollipop, “What did you call it?  His peach?” And Billy goes red, hissing,

“Maxine!” Whilst Steve is confused as hell.  Max presses on.

“Billy really likes--”

“So, you all really believe in the Sanderson sisters?” Billy says, loud and over Max, who kicks him in the shin while he shoves at her to move away.  Steve just kinda… goes with the flow of these two.

“I mean, yeah.  I’ve been to the museum loads of times, and that book of spells is legitimately the creepiest thing I’ve ever seen.” Steve shuffles a little, glances into the ballroom, before seemingly making up his mind.  “You wanna go?” Billy raises a brow.

“You thinking about breaking in, pretty boy?” His tongue pokes from between his teeth as he grins, ignoring Max rolling her eyes.

“Is it breaking in if I have a key?” Steve smirks.  “My parents technically own it, so…” He shrugs and Billy smiles so he doesn’t do something stupid like say something mushy in front of Max.

“Well, grab that key then, Richie Rich.” And Steve grumbles it’s my parents’ money, jeez before going upstairs.

“I’ll be back in a jiffy.” And once he disappears Max elbows Billy in the gut.

“What the hell, shithead?” Billy hisses.

“You’re so fucking obvious,” she says with a grin.  “Pretty boy?  Like, come on.” And Billy ignores her, thank you.

So they go, and Billy and Steve are flirting almost obnoxiously, and Max is so over it, but when they get to the house, they all kinda feel the weird energy.  Billy of course, keeps trying to play it off.  Keeps being a little shit.  Asks if he should light the candle.

“Come on,” he leers.  “Not like anything’ll happen.”

“I dunno,” Steve replies, biting his lip.

“You’re so gonna summon them, Billy.  You’re a virgin.” And wow Max, no need to call him out like that.  And Billy goes red before flicking open his zippo and lighting the candle.

Which.  Bad idea.

(Now, you can imagine the sisters the same, or as Joyce (Winnie), Karen (Sarah), and Claudia (Mary).  Which ever speaks the most to you.  Cuz then Zombie Billy could be Hopper.  Or Bob if you want I suppose.  I’m going with keeping them the same for now cuz I’m a lazy bastard.

Thackery and Emily are Jonathan and Will, I don’t make the rules.)

ANYWAY

The rest pretty much goes the same, with a lot more teasing between Steve and Billy.  And Max being so over these boys.  Jonathan is too, honestly, and he’s constantly swiping at Billy to get him to stop being an asshole.  Steve thinks it’s cute.  Billy does not.

No one listens to Billy cuz, well, he looks like a delinquent whose gonna make jokes.  Steve’s parents ignore him, and everyone knows it, so obviously he’s probably doing it for attention.  And well, Susan is having fun getting to know a lovely and kind man at the party (maybe this is Bob), so she’s just a lil’ distracted.

When they get to the graveyard, and Sarah tries to flirt with Billy, tries to coerce him into giving them his life force, Steve chucks some rocks, furious and jealous, like the brat he is.  Says,

“You’re barking up the wrong tree, Witch Bitch!” And Billy’s already infatuated, but now he’s in love.  Steve’s got that spark, that fire, and Billy kinda maybe likes a guy who can hold his own.  Billy deals with Winnie, Steve and Max deal with the other two.

At the end, once Zombie Billy’s back in his grave, the witches are gone, kaput, and Jonathan has reunited with will, Steve, Billy, and Max find themselves on a bench, exhausted.  And Max maybe says,

“I’m ready to go home.  Steve, wanna come for breakfast?” And well, it’s not like his parents are gonna be up anytime soon, or will notice him being gone at all, so he says yes.  “Awesome.  Billy makes really good pancakes.  Plus, even though we don’t have a guest room, I’m sure Billy will let you take his bed.”

“Maxine!”

Or well,,,, something like that.

[madmaddoxfuryroad]

HSMTMTS: Season 3 thoughts

So I’ve been ruminating a lot about this show today (like every other day) and I got to thinking about what they might do for season 3. Less so plot-wise (I mean season 2 is just over halfway through), but more about what musical they might do, what the cast might be, and how that could tie into the individual characters and their arcs (some more so than others, but c’est la vie).

In trying to figure out what musical they might do, I started first with the obvious: what does Disney own? I don’t think they would return to the HSM franchise (until the final season, but thoughts on that for another day), so anything related to that and other DCOMs I counted out. I also eliminated all Disney animated/princess films. I love them, don’t get me wrong, but seeing as this season they are doing BATB, I don’t think they would immediately go into another animated-film-adapted-for-broadway right after that. So at that point I wasn’t quite sure where to go. Mary Poppins was really the only other thing that came to mind and while I love the film and broadway show I just don’t think it fits the cast well slash even has enough parts to really showcase them. You have Mary and Bert. And then I guess Mr. and Mrs. Banks? Then the kids are a whole other issue. It just felt messy. So I just started thinking about broadway shows that I like, I mean if they wanted to, Disney has the money and could pay for the rights to use most shows. Then everything fell into place.

Into the Woods. I am 100% positive I am letting my bias for this show cloud my judgement, but if you stick with me, I think I can persuade you (or not, your mind is your own and I respect that). First off, Disney owns it. At least I think they do. They made the movie (RIP), so I am going to safely assume they have the rights at this point. Next, yes it contains fairytale elements, which might make you feel it’s a little too close to BATB, but it is such a deconstruction of fairytales and their tropes that I almost feel like it is an amazing follow up to a more traditional fairytale. It introduces conflict and the real world into these fantasy scenarios, which I feel goes really well with high school in general and growing up, expectations being shattered, and learning to alter your world view (I really love this play). Plus, I think it would be exciting to see this cast do a more broadway-type show. Obviously BATB is a broadway show, but I think there is a lot of reliance on knowing the film and less on the play itself. And not going to lie after Julia Lester’s rendition of “Home” last week (which I have not STOPPED listening to) it would be amazing to hear these teens tackle more broadway-style music. Which, takes me to my final point: the cast. What I love so much about Into the Woods is how it is very much an ensemble cast. Yes some roles are bigger than others, but if you have a named character, odds are it’s a fairly good role. And the whole HSMTMTS cast is so talented, I like the idea of them picking a show where it does not feel like anyone is sidelined with their part. Now the only thing left to do is cast it…

FULL disclosure. I ran into an issue early on that I ended up thinking Ashlyn was perfect for every female role and Seb was perfect for every male role. But I was eventually able to push through and cast it (in my humble opinion) pretty well. So I am just going to go off in the order that I cast them, because I think it will help explain my thought process.

THE CAST

Cinderella - Nini. Once I got over my need to hear Julia/Ashlyn sing “No One Is Alone” (loophole to this coming later), this felt like a pretty natural fit and was one of the easiest to cast. For one, I just think Olivia’s vocal range pairs very well with Cinderella’s and she could do beautifully with her songs like “On the Steps Of The Palace”. But what really got me was the way she parallels the character so perfectly. Cinderella is a character who always dreams of more but isn’t quite sure what that “more” is. And because she isn’t *quite* sure what she wants, the character is often seen grappling with indecision (see: “On The Steps Of The Palace”). Most of Act I is her being stagnant and letting the Prince take the active role. Finally in Act II she starts to get a better sense of who she is, who she wants to be, and what she doesn’t want. So this felt like it tied in really nicely with Nini’s journey and would be a great role for her, especially when…

Cinderella’s Prince - Ricky. Yes, yes I know. Ricky and Nini playing love interests? Groundbreaking. But stay with me. For one, I just like the idea of Ricky not getting the lead male role, and this part is perfect for him, regardless. The whole relationship between Cinderella and her Prince mirrors Nini and Ricky remarkably well. The way the Prince sees Cinderella as this perfect maiden who, if he could just be with her, would be the only thing he would ever want/need. But of course this isn’t realistic and isn’t how relationships work, which they both come to terms with by the end of Act II. Their break-up/parting ways scene might be my favorite in the entire play and I think it would be so great for Ricky and Nini to get to perform. In part because the conclusion of the scene is basically them both admitting that they will always love the idea of the other, even though they don’t actually work as a couple. (**I am operating on the assumption that they will have broken up in season 2 and are still broken up, but never really dealt with it). Honestly I recommend just watching the scene I will link it here (it goes from about 2:12:35-2:15:00). Plus, I could totally see there being an episode where they are trying to rehearse this scene, but it just isn’t working so Miss Jenn has both of them improv it or rewrite the lines to something that might feel more comfortable or personal. And I just see that being a really beautiful moment for the two and a chance for growth and closure. I could go on about this dynamic, but I will move on to my final point: “Agony”. First, while it is mostly a comedic song, you can take just the first verse of the song and recontextualize it really nicely as a Ricky pining kind of song, which I absolutely dig (not quitting on my Rina endgame, and you can’t make me) I mean: “If I should lose her, how shall I regain the heart she has won from me? Agony, beyond power of speech, when the one thing you want is the only thing out of your reach”. And BONUS I think we could also get a full-on version of “Agony” in all its absurdist glory with…

Rapunzel’s Prince - EJ. Well, sort of. Technically, no. BUT for the purposes of “Agony”, yes. At this point EJ will have graduated, but I don’t think he will be written out of the show, so it remains to be seen exactly what his place will be. I just think these two 100% need a song together and this is 100% that song. I could see it being something as simple as EJ is helping out with the show, the unnamed kid playing Rapunzel’s Prince is out, so they have EJ fill in. Or they have to have him go on for that kid last minute during the performance. It’s a quick, easily explainable thing that would have SUCH a great payoff.

Jack - Big Red. This was certainly one of the easier ones to cast, but my first thought was of course Seb. Jack is just a boy whose best friend is his cow and Seb radiates that energy. But I needed him for something else. Enter Big Red, the perfect Jack. For one, Big Red has a lot of that starry eyed wonderment that Jack has, that none of the other characters do. There is a purity and innocence to the way Jack sees a lot of things. That pairs nicely with Big Red. And it also opens the door for him to grow and mature more as a character. By the end of the show, Jack is in a place where is needs to transition more to adulthood and with Big Red being a senior by season 3, I think there is a lot of potential here. Also, with Big Red as Jack, I really like the character he is often paired with in scenes, but I will hold back until I get to them.

Witch - Kourtney. Yes. It is her time. One can debate over which character is the “main character” of Into the Woods, but for me it’s the Witch. And Kourtney deserves this. Did I heavily consider Ashlyn for this as well? You know I did. But I grow more and more confident in the casting of Kourtney the more I think about it. First thing’s first: the Witch belts, and I mean BELTS. Dara is such a powerhouse vocally that she would crush every moment of that; I have total faith. But the Witch also has such quiet and tender moments that people don’t think about as much, but are so necessary for the character to be effective and I think she also has that on lock. We have not seen a ton of it (so I would be eager to get more) but when she did her version of “Beauty and the Beast” she was able to find soft but strong moments in the song, and it was so lovely. Then, from a more thematic POV, the Witch is characterized as “the voice of reason”. While everyone else is running around in their fairytale dream world, she is always the one there dolling out the reality checks. And if that ain’t Kourtney. Basically, I think it is her time to get the lead and she would be amazing in this role.

Baker - Seb. Finally settled on a role for him. But really, how could it be anything else? I have felt since the first time we heard him sing (in Truth, Justice, and Songs in our Key, I think) that he was severely underused. The Baker is essentially the male lead, and he has earned it. I don’t think there’s much more that needs to be said here.

Baker’s Wife - Ashlyn. Here’s the thing: could someone else be cast as Baker’s Wife? Yes. And I am sure they would do a fine job. But the thing about this role is that you often don’t realize how fantastic it is until you see someone really great playing it. There’s heart, humor, tragedy, and so much more all wrapped into this character and I would far and away trust Julia/Ashlyn with this above all others. And Baker’s Wife gets to sing a short reprise of “No One Is Alone” so I get to win both ways. No matter how I try to cast it or rearrange characters, I keep coming back to the fact that Ashlyn is just hands down the correct choice. Plus she is one of the better options when it comes to having chemistry with Seb. And I’m not even talking about romantic chemistry, just more about the camaraderie of it, and being able to really see them as a team worth rooting for. They both have an inherent sweetness that makes you care for them, which is crucial for the show. AND this would be another opportunity for Julia Lester to flex her acting after playing VERY different roles in HSM and BATB. Basically, I don’t know when it happened, but I think I am a Julia Lester stan and I only want what is best for her and I think this is it. 

Little Red - Gina. “Didn’t see that one coming did you?” -Pietro Maximoff. And honestly same. There’s always that tough moment in casting when you’ve done the more obvious ones and then you feel sort of stuck with cast choices that weren’t really your choice. But this one really grew on me. Hopefully, I can do it justice. And I will be the first to admit Gina deserves her time to shine because I do think she is amazing. It just isn’t her time yet. It also doesn’t help that Into the Woods is one of the LEAST dance-centered shows and dance it where she really puts all others to shame. So this is where we landed. But it works. I promise. Little Red as a character is pretty naïve, but covers it up with over the top confidence. That feels pretty Gina. I love where her character has gone and all the growth she is displayed in trying to be more vulnerable. But there is still a part of me that does miss mean girl Gina and I think Little Red is a great way to get that energy without backtracking the character development. I don’t think she would be the stereotypical “bratty” Little Red, but I think she could still do something great with it. Also very similar to Jack, Little Red is one of the more innocent characters that has to grow up and face a lot of harsh realities over the course of the play. And I have no doubt Gina would nail that aspect of it, too. And speaking of Jack, Little Red has a number of scenes interacting with him and you know what that means: Gina and Big Red bonding time! I really like the idea of these roles bringing the two closer as friends. And I already head-canon that they would have a ton of fun playing with the fact that they are now Big Red and Little Red (especially since he is on the shorter side and she is on the taller side). Basically I see this as a way for them to build up a really good rapport. I am also pretty convinced that Big Red is a secret Rina shipper, and this would only add to that. And finally even though this is not a dance-heavy show at all, one place where they could add a dance is during “Hello Little Girl”. Now I will be the first to admit that this song is dicey at best, particularly for Disney. But even a scene working on the dance with just the instrumental, no lyrics, could be great. I see it as a partner dance with the wolf (I don’t know dance terms, so maybe this is super vague). And oh, wouldn’t you know it? Cinderella’s Prince is often double-cast as the wolf! (WHAT ARE THE CHANCES) Meaning the Wolf would also be good ol’ Richard Bowen. And I like the idea of getting Rina scenes of them trying to work on the dance, but Ricky is super bad a leading, and they just have fun trying to figure it out. It’s also nice that it is absolutely not a romantic dance so the two wouldn’t feel any added pressure and could just have fun with one another, and that really is when Rina is at its best (not that I would say no to a scene where Gina has to teach Ricky the BATB waltz, but I digress).

Narrator/Mysterious Man - Carlos. By process of elimination, you probably could have guessed who was next. And I know this one also feels like a weird choice but I do kind of love it. First you have the narrator, which is another one of those roles that is only as memorable as the actor playing it, which I think is right up Carlos’ alley. He is always trying to put his unique stamp on things and be memorable and he would take the narrator in a very enjoyable direction. There’s also the matter that I see Carlos as something of an assistant director with Miss Jenn, which makes him a third-party observer of the shows inherently, so it is almost a little meta that he would also end up being the narrator. Then there’s is the mysterious man. I love the idea of Carlos getting to play two very different characters, but I love it even more because the mysterious man is the father of the baker which makes for a lot of sweet moments between the two of them. Yes it might be a little weird for Seblos to be playing father and son, but there is such a vulnerability and tenderness in the moments between the two characters, particularly during “No More” that I can get over it. Because I think they are one of the few pairings on this show that could really pull that off. I just think this character would be a great way to exhibit the range of Carlos.

**BONUS ALTERNATE CASTING**

I really, really love this idea and could not fault them if this was the direction they went, but I ultimately decided against it, mostly because I felt too strongly about another character having the role BUT:

Baker’s Husband - Carlos. I just really love the idea of Seblos getting to be front and center, with their dynamic as the focal point of the show. And honestly Carlos would also do an amazing job as this character. I mean, Seb and Carlos singing “It Takes Two”? How sweet is that? This would also be a great way for the development of their relationship to get a little bit more attention, instead of a side story here and there. There is a lot that could be done with this from a story perspective and I would be here for it.

Unfortunately, then that leaves me unsure of where to put Ashlyn. She could be Jack’s mother, but that feels like such a waste of her. I mean, she would do well and she does have the lead this year, so it’s not SO terrible her having a more minor character, but it just doesn’t feel right. And I really just feel so strongly that she would be the best option for Baker’s Wife out of everyone. And it opens the door to develop the Seb and Ashlyn friendship more, which I am always here for. 

Anyway. Those are my thoughts. If you made it this far: wow and thank you!

[laora-inn]

Supernatural - Some speculations about the last 7 episodes of 15th season

Well, after 2 trailers, episodes descriptions on IMDB and some unfinished plot-lines of SPN story I’d like to share my own speculations. Some of them are definitely wrong. 

Destiel positive, happy end positive, don’t like - don’t read. 

Season 15 | Episode 14. Last Holiday

A filler - that’s how we anime fans call episodes which have no deal with the main plotline, though can contain some interesting moments and nuances. In “Supernatural” these episodes usually have no Cas in them. Sometimes they are very good... but mostly not. They are “just for fun”, and fans enjoy them, because they can be really funny. No angst.

Like this one - no angst, no Cas, a wood nymph who looks like Mary Poppins to me (or Mrs. Marple whatever). Some British origin of the character. 

That’s the episode which shots with Dean in purple nightgown are from (trailer short version).

I suppose the shot with Dean, Sam and Jack flying in the air could also be here from. But maybe not.

I don’t know where Cas may be. His absence should be explained to us in some way. In episode 10th he was missing because of talking to the angels. What’s now? Some preparations for the next Jack's trial? 

In this episode Dean should come closer to Jack’s forgiving.

Season 15 | Episode 15. Gimme Shelter

I have NO IDEA what this episode is about. Maybe the next trial for Jack? Or not?

I think the shot from the last trailer with Cas protecting Jack on the truck bed is from this episode. Also, some tortured person on the bed with the “lust” written above could be from it. 

And what about Sam and Dean? Where are they? 

I think they may have their own journey here, separate from Cas and Jack. Possibly the epic shots with them entering some building are this episode from. Possibly not. 

Season 15 | Episode 16. Drag Me Away (From You)

I don’t like this episode title. It looks like Destiel mocking to me - maybe, I just don’t have enough faith. I want to trust SPN writers but can’t. Somebody help me to believe, we all need that now! :)

THE ONLY episode in ALL THE SHOW except this one that had brackets in the title was 12x12, Stuck in the Middle (With You). Yahoo. 

Obviously, 12x12 was a parody to the Reservoir Dogs, a movie by Quentin Tarantino. Parody in a good sense of this word, but still. The plotline, the scenes (oh, this lunch scene from different points of view!), the scenes’ order, the roles, though changed - all of them. In case you didn’t watch Reservoir Dogs, just go and watch it, and then re-watch 12x12. You will understand. 

"Stuck in the Middle with You" is Stealers Wheel song which was in the OST of this Tarantino’s movie. This allusion should deal with boys’ and Mary relationship - because it’s her who betrayed them involuntarily, and now they are stuck in the middle with her. 

But somehow this episode title also deals with Destiel relationship. Maybe ‘cause that’s Cas who is dying, not Mary. Maybe ‘cause even on his deathbed he doesn’t confess something important - not about his betrayal, there was no one, but about his feelings. He says "I love you”, but then adds “I love all of you”, and Dean is literally stuck in the middle with Cas here. 

Back to the brackets in the episodes titles. Because of them I suppose that 12x12 and 15x16 could be connected. But how exactly?! That’s the question. I want them badly to be connected in Destiel way, but know too little. 

Back then I supposed that Dean could be dying in this episode and it would be his turn to confess something to Cas. But now I don’t know if there will be Cas in this episode at all, I just don’t have enough information. 

I hope he will. 

Btw, the words “Drag Me Away (From You)” are in Toto’s song “Africa”. And in case you didn’t know, in 2018 this song was used for half-an-hour Destiel video made by fan here. It covers ALL the Destiel moments then far. Link for this video is in Supernatural wiki, in the Destiel article. Half an hour, 10 repeats of the song, author’s comment: 

Along the way it stopped being funny and started getting insulting because this has been a literal decade (as of 2018 the vid features seasons 4-13) and the show has explored ALL of the tropes and yet and yet and yet...

I mean the fangirl shipper part of me also loves it. And then I get mad because I love it. I have a very complicated relationship with Supernatural but that's okay.

Have you heard the good news about Tragic Widow Dean?

TLDR: Have a supercut of all the DeanCas stuff set to Toto's Africa.

We can speculate a bit about this fact, but the truth is we know only about young Sam and Dean, who certainly will be in this episode. 

I think shots with Billie talking to Dean from the last trailer also belong to this episode, as well as shots with young Dean with Samulet, who is a ghost now. But these assumptions could be totally wrong. 

What circumstances will take us to the young Sam and Dean? Time travelling? Flashbacks? The parallel world?

Personally I think it will be the third option. Because how the hell young Dean can be a ghost in “our” universe? Unless it’s not Dean, though I doubt it. But if it’s not Dean, it can be a flashback, you know, with the young boys. Yep? 

We’ll wait and see.

I don’t think that Sam’s appreciative words to Dean refer to this episode. 

Also I don’t think Sam is going to sacrifice himself AGAIN (I’ve heard such an opinion). But maybe it’s my hope that makes me think in a wrong way.

Season 15 | Episode 17. Unity

I think some of Chuck’s shots are from this episode. Maybe the red lights in the bunker too. Maybe not. 

There also should be Amara and some angels. I saw Uriel in the cast! Maybe there also be some light lit on the all situation in Heaven now, when Jack made new angels. 

Some interaction between all of them + Sam, Dean, Cas and Jack should take place. Here the shot with sigil could be taken from. 

What side the angels will take? How it happened that Uriel is alive? Was he resurrected by Chuck or Amara? What plans does Amara have, how is she planning to deal with Chuck?

And what’s for Naomi? Will she come back or not? I think she won’t, not in this episode for sure, and I’m already disappointed ‘cause you know, she should be alive. Dumah said she is. For me Naomi is an important figure considering Destiel, and I think she’d be the best Heaven runner. 

All in all, in this episode should happen something that will make Cas happy. I suppose by the end of 15x17 or in the beginning of 15x18 they all will be sure that they have won the game, and Dean will forgive Jack for Mary.

The episode title may refer to angels’, Winchesters’ and Amara unity. 

Season 15 | Episode 18. Despair

Well, in Supernatural wiki I also saw “The Truth” title for this episode. 

Most of us are convinced that in this episode Cas will tell Dean about his deal with the Empty and will be taken by it. I believe the same. 

I think shot with Billie knocking with her hand rotten belongs to this episode. 

I have some doubts, but also think a shot with Dean leaning on Cas is from here. 

I’m sure that “You fought for this whole world” and Dean’s crying scene belong to this episode. ‘Cause you know. Despair. And the truth - about Cas’s deal and possibly about their fake win. 

Billie’s with her scythe and bunker intrusion symbols could also be from here (or from one the previous episodes ends, especially for Billie - as a cliffhanger). And it should be the case for Sam and Jack, I suppose. Because there is no other way for Dean and Cas to face Cas’s deal with just two of them. 

Destiel confession will be here, in more explicit form that it could be in 15x16, because there will be A TALK, but I don’t think we’ll see something real explicit. 

Maybe, Dean’ll say he loves Cas. Maybe not. I’m sure only about the fact that we’ll cry by the end of this episode. And that will be AN UGLY CRYING, just as Jensen said.

Well, maybe there will be a hint that Cas can be brought back, but I think it won’t. So prepare yourselves, my friends. 

Season 15 | Episode 19. Inherit the Earth

Here I think Sam’s appreciative words to Dean are taken from. They are definitely comforting. ‘Cause you know, Cas is dead, Chuck is alive. Possibly Cas was in his way and Chuck erased him by making him believe in their win.

I also think Dean’s crying words “this whole mission, saving the world” belong to this episode and will be in conversation with Sam. 

They still need to fight Chuck, and Jack is still alive. Here Michael will appear and helps. And there is one moment Sergey mentioned in 15x07, about the key to the Death’s library. He even described what it looks like! Cas heard that as well as Eileen. Well, if Cas is taken, then Eileen should return to the Winchesters, maybe with Sam and Jack, or just tell them about this key. 

I don’t know what they are going to do after. Open this library? How? Find how to kill God? Or not? Will they try to save Cas?

I think they will not talk about Cas’s saving. And he will be dead in this episode for sure.

Also I think they’ll deal with God in this episode, one way or another.

Season 15 | Episode 20. Carry On

This is a land of unlimited speculation!

I hope Dean’ll have Cas back by the end of episode. I think Cas’ll save himself from the Empty, ‘cause, you know, he has a big goal there. The Empty tortures all the dead angels and demons, as far as we know. It should be fixed - Cas’s already made a promise to Ruby. And we know that Cas has no problem with ruining something and messing it up - he is basically THE GREAT TRICKSTER of this show. 

Rebelling against Heaven and ruining angels’ plans? Check. Stopping Apocalypse? Check. Opening Purgatory? Check. Becoming a new God? Check. Bringing the Leviathans? Check. Casting all the angels out of Heaven and burning their wings? Check. Becoming human? Check. Becoming an angel by devouring other angels’ grace? Check. Getting an army of angels? Check. Giving up this army for one human? Check. Kidnapping angels’ prisoner? Check. Letting Lucifer in? Check. Helping “an abomination”, Devil’s son, to be born? Check. Annoying Empty so much that it brought him back to life? Check. Making a deal with the Empty? Check. 

It’s very dangerous to mess with Cas, you just don’t know what he could do for the greater good, and yep, in some way Dean was right when he said that Cas is “something that’s always going wrong”. So I think the Empty is in trouble here, not vice versa.  

Also, there is one more thing that bothers me. When Nick in 14th season was praying to Lucifer, he woke him up in the Empty. Theoretically, Lucifer can be awake by now. It could be a dead end, but still. Lucifer’s “true face” is similar to the Empty’s, sooo... 

I don’t know what to think about it and the fact that Nick could reach Lucifer and return him from the Empty, so let’s move on.  

I hope for the happy end for Sam (maybe with Eileen) and for all the hunters we know. They are family. 

NO MCD here! If someone’ll die - they shouldn’t be Sam, Dean or Cas. I don’t want to see Eileen’s death either. I don’t know what about Jack. I don’t want him to die, but he is 100% supernatural being, and I am not sure what it means for him to die. 

Monsters should stay, hunters should hunt them. We’ll see that the “family business” thrives.    

There should be an order on the all levels - in Heaven, Hell and on Earth. There should be the new Death - of they should return Billie. Rowena running the Hell would be perfect. Wonder if Naomi could run Heaven. Maybe it will be Chuck? If he will be redeemed. Or Michael. 

I don’t know what’s for the Empty and Amara. 

I don’t know what the end for Jack will be. I’d like he will be alive, but I just don’t know. He can’t be a human. That will be right thing for Cas, but not for Jack. 

I hope for Destiel endgame, as well as for Sam/Eileen. Cas should become a human, maybe, with some supernatural skills left.   

I doubt that we have proper scenes of these ships together or Cas’ humanity. Just hints. But they can be very obvious - especially if we’ll see Dean’s reaction to Cas’s returning. 

So, I hope to see them. 

But, as I said, it's a land of unlimited speculation. We’ll wait and see. 

What else should be resolved:

- Kevin can’t stay a ghost! It’s my main point here. He also can’t go to Hell. What will happen with him and in which episode? I don’t know. I just hope they won’t forget about him. 

- There is the shot with Bobby from? 15x20? He should be somewhere. 

- Also, there should be Charlie in this season unless something’s changed. Where is she?

- What are they going to do with alternative!Winchesters from 15x13? They will rest? They will make another HunterCorp? They will be gone?! Come on, something needs to be done with them! Of course, they are not so important here, so the writers can forget about them, but still, I’m interested.

What am I going to do:

I'm going to watch all the last episodes of the season. AND THEN, if there will be no happy end for the Winchester boys and Cas won’t be with them, I'm going to rebel. :) In every possible way - petitions, letters, actions etc. We are grown-up people here. We can fight for our rights, and it's my crucial right - to be happy about my favorite show ending. :) 

__________________

Feel free to ask me anything or to comment. My ask is working!

[aclosetfan]

Aight here’s a 16teen-esque mall au for the ppg that I’ll never write, but enjoy thinking about and have heavily outlined (its long, so most is under the cut):

Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup aren’t related in this one, but you’d figure they were. Bubs/Buttercups are fraternal Twins (Mom/Dad=Keane/Prof)

Blossom’s mom is Ms. Bellum, who is dating Ms. Ima Goodwoman. Sedusa is actually a good woman in this lol, she just doesn’t vibe with blossom very well.

It also doesn’t help that Ima’s son, Butch, is now an even more permanent fixture in Blossom’s life. She had always thought school was enough. 

Later on in the story, Bellum and Ima get married and Butch&Bloss have to come to terms with being step siblings (they break up their parents and end up having to parent trap them back together)

This new relationship between Butch&Bloss works out perfectly for Brick because Brick’s bestfriends with Butch and also has a low-key crush on Bloss. They have English class together and while he very much has a goth persona that he can’t compromise (obviously) by a preppy girl like Bloss, he still enjoys fucking with her. Too bad she has that boyfriend :(

Wait what happened to the mall part?? Here we go: 

So, to preference, Bloss is a very smart young women. A real intellectual. Tons of smart extracurriculars. She’s definitely going places, but an Ivy League school costs money. So, she gets a job at the local mall in the bookstore. Bookstores in malls aren’t doing to hot financially and hers gets bought out. It’s going to be replaced by a more mainstream Barnes and Noble, but applications for employees don’t open up until after construction. She’s out a job and for some reason (maybe it’s her horribly inconsistent schedule) no one’s hiring her!! She’s worried about a gap in her resume, but her Mom ends up having the hookup. Turns out her mom’s boss (the mayor, who’s not the Mayor in this one) actually owns the lone hot dog (& pickle) stand in the mall, and it needs a new person to man it. 

(((This is a call back to when blossom, in the show, had to get a job at that hot dog stand 😂 she has to wear the same uniform with the stupid hat. )))

Her best costumer is actually Mayor, which perplexes Blossom because that can’t be a financially sound business move. His weird wisdom guides her.  

ANYWAY, she takes the job and finds out the stand (and the embarrassing uniform) is unfortunately located in front of. . .

. . .HOT TOPIC. 

Who works there??? Lol obviously Mr. Doom and Gloom himself--Brick!

So, Brick’s pretty much the manager there, right? Wrong, but he is a decent employee. He doesn’t actually need a job, but he’s a counterculture rebel, right?? And rebels go against their parents wishes, right?? And his dads (Mojo and Him) don’t want him working in a filthy mall because they’re rich and there’s better things to do. But he’s pretty anti-them so (🖕) he gets the job (Mojo also does not at all understand goth culture)

And then, because the gods favor him, not only does he end up getting to bug Bloss in English, but ALSO on his work breaks. He ends up eating more hotdogs then he ever thought he would in his life, but also, eventually, ends up becoming her study partner. Another fun and great thing for him is that as the story progresses he gets to watch her relationship with that-Jared-guy crumble right before his very eyes, which just adds fuel to his fantasy fire. 

So tbh this story actually really works out for Brick. He gets to spend time with the girl he secretly likes and has a decent shot at getting her to date him!! Blossom, on the other hand, suffers, but who’s there to help her through this suffering?

Well, obviously, Bubbles (and BC)! Bubbles works at Claire’s. She does well on the floor, but does not at all like piercing ears. She’s not good at it. She messes piercings up too frequently and blood freaks her out. Her coworker Mary often has to step up and do it for her. Still, she likes all the sparkly stuff in the store, so it’s generally a good fit. As of right now, Bubbles really just vibes in this story. Her biggest source of conflict is with Boomer, who works at the Spencer’s across from Claire’s.

Boomer is what Brick calls a shitty scene kid. He isn’t, Brick’s just mean, but Boomer rolls with it. Tbh he just likes dying his hair a shit ton of colors. He isn’t an ideal employee and is often found taking one too many breaks, but he’s charming and doesn’t make too many bad jokes about the dildos on display in the back, so they keep him around. He should honestly be on Claire’s payroll instead, because when Mary’s not available he’s the one who does the piercings (and the right way too, he might add, not with that fucked-up piercing gun) for Bubbles. And while that might make him seem like an overall helpful guy, do not be fooled. Bubbles always pays a price.

Boomer also has a shitty mom (femme fatale; she didn’t want a son), so his at-home life isn’t great, but he puts on a brave face. Brick and Butch essentially share custody of the boy. He has a room at each of their homes, which throws Blossom for a loop because not only does she have to share space with Butch later in the story, but also with Boomer (who she ends up tutoring). 

Speaking of Butch, he was fired from Spencer’s after Boomer got him a job there because he was “immature.” He was also fired from Hot Topic for basically the same reason. Then he landed a job at the Sporting Goods store, but again ended up getting fired (but this time it legitimately wasn’t his fault. His manager was just out to get him, as explained later) Now, he works for the malls arcade arena (they have go-karts and bumper cars; it’s one of those good arcades, ya feel?), so he runs a lot of kid’s bday parties. And to everyone’s surprise, he’s actually really good at it. Apparently, Butch really vibes with kids jacked up on sugar. Parents like him too because he flirts with the moms and pulls the dads into “friendly” but competitive go-kart racing betting pools. 

The person doing the actual hard labor at the arcade is Robin. She gets stuck in the chuck-e-cheese-like costume way too often. She’ a good voice of reason for everyone else, especially Butch. She’s his favorite co-worker.

Going back to the sporting goods store. Buttercup works there. She’s the best sales rep they got. It helps that she’s crazy athletic and is on track to get a pretty decent scholarship with some D1 schools. (What’s she play? Idk? Whatever your heart wants) She can’t say though that she’s the most popular amongst her coworkers. She got in a fight with Mitch, which also meant she got in a fight with the twins that follow Mitch around. She definitely didn't get along with Butch when he worked there. And she thinks her manager’s kind of creepy and he’s only gotten creepier since his partner Snake broke up with him

She doesn’t know why Snake broke up with Ace, but she’s pretty sure it has to do with Butch getting fired

Now, this one’s going to throw y’all for a loop, but the reason she gets in a fight with Mitch is because Mitch was picking on her boyfriend Elmer (THATS RIGHT IM SHAKING IT UP—but don’t worry 😏 I love the greens too much).

Elmer works at the comic/geek shop with Mike. She obviously likes her boyfriend and is big buds with Mike. Elmer’s pretty insecure tho and thinks BC’s going to break up with him all the time. This really bums her out. She doesn’t get why he thinks that (b/c she’s out of his league, but she’s oblivious) because she really likes him. Unfortunately, it gets to the point that she eventually decides she has to break up with him because she can’t convince him to trust her (still their relationship is cutesy side plot for a long bit). It’s her first big heartbreak. A heartbreak that is. . .

. . .ideal for Butch because he’s realized he has more then friendly feeling for her. See they weren’t friends AT ALL beforehand, but his new sibling relationship with Blossom has catapulted BC squarely into his life. Slowly they end up going from workplace enemies to eh to friendly to friends to (😉).

A significant turning point in their relationship happened to involve Ace. Butch was on his smoke break and saw Ace making Buttercup uncomfortable. That same night he sees Buttercup trying to leave and Ace/his gang are trying to pressure her into following them. Butch takes offense to this and ends up walking Buttercup to her car. She argues she doesn’t need him saving her, which he readily agrees to, but explains that any excuse to beat that creep Ace up is a good excuse. Afterward, anytime BC has to work close, Butch walks her to her car.

Eventually, he explains to her that he was the one who inadvertently convinced Snake to get out of their toxic-ass relationship with Ace. Ace found out and that’s why he was fired. So, now, he has real beef with the guy. Him and Ace don’t get along at all. To the point where Butch was banned from the sports store, but he sneaks in to see his friends and mess with BC. 

HAHA does the story ever end???? 

The story ends when Barnes n’ Noble opens. Blossom gets the job, ditches the old boring boyfriend, gets the goth boy, saves her mom’s relationship, and gains a sibling. 

The format of the story would be pretty episodic, with a conflict/resolution in each chapter. But what’s written above highlights the over arching plot lines

and holy shit! how could I forget the cherry on top??? Brick and Princess are cousins, and she does NOT let him forget this. 

((If you want more specific details ya gotta ask. there’s a lot more then just this.)) 

[katsidhe]

Fic: games of skill; games of chance [14.17 coda]

Sam, and a head injury, and a car ride: one vessel considers another.

AO3

“You’re still looking green around the gills,” Dean tells him.

“I feel okay now,” says Sam. He is still nauseous, but it’s fading. Jack did a good job pasting his skull back together. Nick’s dead. Lucifer’s dead. Sam should be dead but, as usual, isn’t.

“We should have just ganked the guy,” Dean says. Dean is angry, of course he is. Sam doesn’t begrudge him. Sam is probably angry himself.

When Sam broke it to Dean, that Nick had survived and they’d been getting him back on his feet, Dean had told him that it wasn’t his responsibility. You don’t have to martyr yourself, Sam, he’d said, it doesn’t have to be you taking care of him, like Sam was making a sacrifice. But Sam hadn’t been. He really, really hadn’t been.

In fact, Sam’s pretty sure he was being fundamentally selfish.

Cas would have taken it on, if Sam had asked; Sam knows. Same with Mom. But Sam had been the one to bring Nick back, so Sam volunteered. He even told himself it was to spare the others. To spare Cas, who had spent months possessed; to spare Mom, who’d spent an uncertain amount of time in that other world one-on-one with Lucifer.

(When Sam had asked, vaguely, she’d been noncommittal with the details, said, oh, you know. Said, it wasn’t that bad, and hadn’t been long anyway. She’d smiled the way she often smiled, without her eyes, in a way which meant nothing at all.)

But he knows now it hadn’t been because of them, not really. Patching Nick up was—it felt good, like holding his breath and pressing on a bruise.

Dean deserves to enjoy an I-told-you-so, at this point.

***

The noise in his head is loud and long, strident, persistent, splitting him open. Sam tries to wedge himself upright on the wheel, lying across the horn: the noise is his lifeline.

Saving Nick’s life in that church was still the right thing to do, Sam knows that. He’d just about collapsed from the shock when Nick had tried to sit up, then crumbled back down, unconscious; but Nick so obviously wasn’t Lucifer. Not then, and not today either—not even when he’d been singing, goading Sam like a toddler, using familiar lines—there wasn’t ever really a moment that Sam got them mixed up. He’s sure it’s actually easier for him to see the difference than it was for Mary and Dean; even Cas, for some reason.

But everything that came after—the warning signs, of which there had assuredly been more than one; the mood swings, the harsh gestures and words. The obsession. Sam didn’t miss the signs. He was simply desperate not to see them. Desperate to believe that someone as indelibly ruined as Nick would manage to pull himself up out of that hole.

But he was wrong. He’d let himself think... it’s getting harder to think. He leans more heavily on the horn. The sound fractures his skull.

***

“So… what happened, how’d he get the drop on you?” Dean’s asking like he doesn’t actually want to poke at it, but he’s compelled to say something anyway.

Sam knows the feeling. The oppressive quiet is somehow too much like the drive up, with Nick in the backseat—even though Nick was anything but quiet; loud but benign, hallucination made solid. Intangible, until he wasn’t, until his human flesh crashed into Sam’s.

It was an odd slip in time, listening to that harmless off-key singing in the dead silence. It was funhouse-mirror strange to glance out of the corner of his eye and see that somehow Dean was grimacing at the off-color taunts—for a second, it was as if Dean could hear into Sam’s mind, or else that he’d taken up residence there too.

”I don’t know,” says Sam, several seconds too late. It’s not really a lie. It was stupid to think all that was behind him, and he’s not sure why he did it, why he assumed he could handle Nick in a fight.

Dean makes a noncommittal sound.

They drive in silence (actual silence, no sound in Sam’s head) for a few more minutes.

***

The car door rattles. Sam startles upright and falls off the horn; the noise in his head slackens.

“Dean,” says Sam. It’s Dean. Dean’s cursing, fumbling with the keys. Sam should help him. He fumbles for the handle, tries—

The door’s open. “Sam!”

“Nnngh,” he tries. He can’t make the words come out. “S’gone. He.”

“Sammy—you and your thick fucking head, come on, come on, big guy, you’re fine—”

“Lucifer,” Sam gasps. That one’s easier to get out.

“Not Lucifer,” says Dean, “Nick cold-cocked you good, but you’re fine, okay?”

“No,” says Sam, or he thinks he does. “Help.” Help, help, help. He’s being yanked out of the car, pulled out bodily. He struggles but not for long, the light cuts through his eyes, too sharp.

Dean’s pushed his arm under Sam’s, gripping Sam’s ribs. Sam blinks stupidly at the ground. He buckles forward and throws up, retching emptily onto the pavement.

***

“So, the blood I get, but where’d Nick get the grace? Is that something we need to be worried about now, secret fuckin’—horcruxes or whatever?”

Sam considers this briefly, with faint horror—thinks about vials of Lucifer stashed in his vaults like little phylacteries, contingency plans waiting for the wrong tripwire to spring. “I don’t think so,” he says. The possibility of his death hadn’t seemed to hit home for Lucifer even in the moment he was stabbed. “Nick must have extracted it himself.”

“Extracted?”

Sam suddenly remembers that Dean hadn’t been around when he and Cas had tried to get out Gadreel’s grace, for that spell. “Yeah. Remember Gadreel?”

Dean glances sharply at him, then looks away. “Right. Yeah, I remember now.”

The drive on in uncomfortable silence.

Dean rubs the back of his neck. “So. So, when Michael went through my psychic maintenance pipes—he left behind some grace, huh?”

“Probably,” Sam says. “That’s probably part of how he got back in.” He glances sideways at Dean, trying to gauge his expression. “I’m sorry,” he offers. It’s paltry next to the nausea of the realization, he knows, but he can’t bring himself to say anything else. Michael’s dead now. Lucifer, Nick, Gadreel—all dead now.

***

Dean says something. He’s shouting. There are hands in Sam’s hair, damp hot fabric pressing hard against his temple. The world does a dizzy loop and then he’s staring at the sky.

The air hurts, the gravel prickles on his skin like knives, he’s too stiff to move away. He’s going blind. Where did Lucifer go?

“The Empty,” says Dean. His face is blurry and worried, hovering.

“Lucifer, Lucifer’s, he’s gonna—”

Dean pinches him hard on the shoulder, Sam flinches away. “You seeing things? Hey. Stay with me, it’s just us. Okay. Donatello!”

Dean’s hands are a heavy, grounding weight. The world tilts on a nauseous axis.

***

“Wish I’d just let you kill him,” muses Dean, after another long minute.

“No, man, you were right,” says Sam. “I was out of line.” He’s looking out the window, at the dirty snow, broken through with patches of brown grass and scrub oak.

“You couldn’t have known,” insists Dean, apparently intent on easing Sam’s guilt.

Sam scoffs. Dean shouldn’t bother.

“Cmon,” Dean says, focusing in on his goal now, a dog with a bone, “you couldn’t have. How could you have guessed, huh? Everyone else on the planet, it takes two seconds of Lucifer’s smart mouth before they wanna shoot him in the face just so he shuts up. Who’d have guessed Nick’d be the one dick in existence to actually like the guy?”

Sam gives him a sharp glance. Shrugs. “He’s not the only one who does.”

“…What?” Dean stares at him.

Sam raises an eyebrow. “Most of Hell? Plus a fair chunk of Heaven, plus who knows how many sects of human followers.”

“Oh.”

Dean’s still looking at him like he expected something else. It coils uneasy in Sam’s stomach.

“I really should have—figured, though,” says Sam, finally.

It’s a too-long, too-quiet drive, without anyone in the backseat.

***

It’s a slow-moving nightmare, this disconnect between his head and his mouth. The only thing preserved is the urgency, awful and bloody. But he can’t marshal it, can’t connect it, can’t remember how—he blinks dumbly at Dean, at the icy sky. “Nick’s getting him back, blood, grace, s’a ritual.”

Dean freezes. His hands go still. “Fuck. Shit, dammit—now? Where’d he go?”

“Dunno. He’s got—his grace—Jack’s blood—” The panic has him fighting, batting weakly against Dean’s tight grip. He can’t think through it, a molasses-thick dream where all he can do is writhe and struggle against the syrupy weight pinning him down, try vainly to push away the slimy stifling horror in time.

“Sam—focus, okay. Shit. Okay. We can handle—we’re on top of this—I’ll call—”

Dean knows.

Sam’s warned him.

He’s done it—Dean and Cas and Jack and Mom will—Sam lets his eyes slip closed, just for a second.

***

How long had Sam let Nick wander, unfettered, with a piece of Lucifer nestled in his soul? How well did Nick know Sam, how much had he seen? How well did he know Dean? How much did Sam let his stupid impulse to—to fix someone Lucifer broke, blind him to basic safety precautions?

And now that the damage is done, as always, Sam has the time and the hindsight to look back and see all the cracks in his intentions, the places where he’d thought his motives were pure and his actions were just, where he’d allowed self-delusion and selfish need to drive him onwards without caring about the fallout.

It’s that fucked up self-righteous part of himself, that need to be right, that need for something to go right, that lets him think that just because he has a worthy goal, he’s excusable.

It’s the reason for the near miss today. It’s the reason nearly everyone they saved from that other world is now dead, buried with too little ceremony in a mass grave in Kansas, far, far from their home. It’s the reason for a whole hell of a lot more, if Sam wants to go back a year or several.

He doesn’t know why he keeps wanting things like this for himself. The shame should be whittled to an unbreakable point by now, a mechanism to keep Sam from fucking things up irretrievably; and yet he keeps pushing through it anyway, and the blood keeps building up on his hands.

Nick flinching from his hands, glancing up at Sam from hooded eyes—how long did it take? How many of those times that Nick stared at him had been with twisted, insane jealousy and not deep unease, as Sam had assumed?

Sam noticed him looking; he couldn’t not. Sam was the one taking care of him, after all: feeding him, bandaging his wound, bringing him news and human contact that Nick had seemed to grasp at like a man drowning, his understandable awkwardness aside.

Sam asked after his nightmares. Sam asked him carefully if he remembered anything useful about Michael. Sam stitched together his flesh. Sam kept tabs on Nick, watching his human movements and his human posture. Nick ate, Nick slept, Nick hissed in pain under Sam’s hands, and Sam tried to keep his careful thrill quiet—he curled his toes and licked his lips and slowed his breathing.

Must be weird for you, helping me, Nick had said.

And it had been weird, Sam agreed. Just, not in any way that was quantifiable or straightforward. Being around him was like being suspended over knives, tense and perfect. Safe and unsafe. Proof that this wasn’t ten years ago, or seven, that Sam could inhabit his fear and come out unscathed and breathing hard and tingling—that Sam could shove all his issues into one box with one face, minimize and control whatever the world threw at him, lose sleep and come out the stronger for it.

Sam looked forward to visiting Nick, every time, with an anticipatory adrenaline like being ratcheted up the lift hill on a rollercoaster, waiting for that safe, sickening drop. Waiting to come out sane.

He’s a junkie, through and through—can he complain that it turned out the ride wasn’t up to code, after all, when he’s the one who tore through all the caution tape, who hotwired the car and ignored the brakes?

***

Everything’s dim and red like this. His pulse thunders sick and loud. No matter how many times Sam’s died, he can never shake the animal terror. There’s a point where mortal instinct takes over; the shift from pain-without-purpose to soul suffocation, the body’s last-ditch scream.

It’s okay, though. He’s done it.

“Stay with me, now. We’re just gonna play a little game.”

It’s happening. His brain’s clawing uselessly at life. It’s the last starbursts of agony.

Not so perfect now, Sam thinks. What he did to himself, what he would have done to himself. How many rocks, the ways he would have smashed his own bones apart if it would have changed a single thing.

“Just count with me,” Dean says.

[yoongisbars]

Samusil | myg | P R O L O G U E

summary: It was always known that you were the family disappointment. So naturally, you fled. With a looming school debt, alcoholic tendencies, and no luck whatsoever in keeping a job for more than a month, you were at your wits end until you finally cave into working at Bang-Lenzo. You’ve only ever heard horrors of the place and its manager. But maybe, just maybe, that office would become your safe haven.

pairing: myg x reader genre: strangers to lovers au | office!yoongi au | future angst? fluff?  word count: 7.5k tw: alcohol as coping mechanism, subjects that might hit close to home note:  inspired by The Office US, this is only a teaser, a taste, of a project im working on, i wont release anything besides this until its ready, so pls endure !! <3

        Life was a bitch to everyone, and ever since you flunked out of Business School, it’s proven you weren’t the exception. It was an already supersaturated field with bright minded, innovative entrepreneurs. And you? Realized halfway through that the business world wasn’t cut out for you. With an overwhelmingly expensive college debt for an unfinished degree that your parents refused to pay for, you became the official family disappointment. After two years of being done with their bullshit, you finally packed your stuff and moved as far away as possible, hoping to start anew in the small town of rural Yangpiji.

        Just because you had some level of education, didn’t mean it would get you quite far. It’s done the opposite, in fact. Jobs with higher wages frowned upon your incomplete studies, and jobs that didn’t give a fuck if you finished high school, didn’t pay enough to deal with their idiocies or take care of the bills for that matter. One heated argument with the owner of the last food joint you worked at was the final straw. Throwing your dirty apron at his face, you walked out of there without a single care in the world, and for the moment, you felt powerful. At least until you waltzed into Slack Jack’s and sat at the bar that night, head buried into your palms.

“Rough shift?” Your eyes peered from behind your fingers, focusing on a shot being placed in front of you. And boy, were you thankful for it. Without speaking, you threw that shit back and let it burn your throat, the only consolation for the situation you were in. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Jackson, I quit.” Feigned shock played on the bartender’s face as he cleaned a beer mug. You weren’t the only one who searched for new beginnings in Yangpiji. In front of you was Jackson Wang, owner and proprietor of Slack Jack’s. He had moved there from abroad no more than ten years ago in hopes to reinvent himself, and against all odds did. He had been your close friend for the past three years since moving. Quite frankly the only good thing this area had to offer was Jackson and his cheap drinks that get you hammered quick.

“Really? I wouldn’t have thought!” His hand shot up to cover his mouth, chuckling at your bland reaction. Rolling your eyes so far into your skull, a heavy sigh escaped from within.

“I’m serious. I quit. I quit work, I quit life, I quit Yangpiji- I’m tired… I hate that I’m a jobless 28-year-old drunk, with nothing to offer this world besides how to survive on garlic noodles and rum.” Your hands traveled the air around you as you searched for words, “I can’t even afford to make them Jjajang Noodles, Jack. JJAJANG!” A small shriek spewed out as you downed another shot, you stopped counting after the third one. Dread and sorrow pooled around you in a matter of seconds. You were at your wits end. And you couldn’t say you were past your peak, since frankly you never took off the ground to begin with. “I’m a failure, Jackson.”

        Widened eyes traveled the room trying to find any words of consolation, but the bartender couldn’t find anything other than pity. His hands moved quickly, putting away the bottles before he was tempted to offer you anymore. He usually served you on the house because he knew of your struggles, but you also drank your weight in alcohol, and he didn’t want to go broke any time soon.

“Listen, chief. There’s still an option…” Oh no… You didn’t want to hear it; already knowing what was coming. “The Bang-Lenzo Yangpiji Branch is still hiring for a secretary; you should test it out.”

        Ah, yes. Bang-Lenzo Inc. Somehow a successful company in the dying paper industry. One of the first to drop their deforestation contracts for their supplies and switch entirely to recycled paper. Since most companies didn’t believe in the Save The Trees movement, most of their major clients dropped them and signed contracts with Bang-Lenzo instead. Working for them would be an achievement… If only the branch in your city wasn’t a nut house.

“Jackson…” Elongating the last syllable, you groaned. “I’ve heard horror stories of people that have tried to work there, it’s chaos. No one ever lasts a full week…” The idea of even bothering to work there was dreadful. The workers there were a nightmare, so you’ve heard. But their manager? A complete lunatic. Unprofessional, immature, inappropriate, and other negative connotations have been used to describe the young manager, Jeon Jungkook. Rumor had it he was the top salesman for 4 years straight before the old manager died. When the company crunched the numbers and stats, he was technically the most qualified for the manager position and had managed to keep it for the past 5 years.

        Amidst your internal struggle, Jackson raised an eyebrow and cut you straight. “It pays $15 an hour, plus benefits.” On instinct your hand shot up, doing quick maths in the air. Holy cow. You shifted your attention to Jackson so fast you almost snapped your neck.

“That’s almost $30k a year!”

“More than you’ll ever make busing tables, that’s for sure.” He had a point. And, you were desperate. Maybe not so much at first, but $15 is $15 and if it meant sacrificing your sanity for survival, well damn it, you were down for the count.

“Guess I’m speaking to Jeon…”

        On Jackson’s commands and with a set of instructions, you left the bar early. ‘Prep for tomorrow, rest and sober up.’ Three things that you were never quite well doing at the very last minute. Bits and pieces of information were fed to you, in order to try and snatch the job at its core.

‘From what I’ve heard, he likes to go in on Saturday mornings to catch up on some work.’ All that meant was that you had to wake up early, and your suspected hangover did not like that. You did what any ‘sane’ person would do and popped in a pain killer and a nausea reliever, an old family remedy to wake up fresh and ready.

‘At the breakfast buffet two blocks over, I once saw him obliterate the cheddar biscuits… And I think he has a thing for sausages too.’ Really, it seemed like Jackson knew Jungkook too well, but honestly so did the town through word of mouth. That last bit of information is what made you scour the nearest convenience store for the necessary ingredients to make the piece of resistance, the key to securing your assets. With this bread you were going to get your bread.

---

        Morning came quickly, as you had gone to bed late baking and sorting out your clothes for the day. Sporting one of your finer ensembles just to make a statement, you were ready to take life by the throat. A dark gray, tight pencil skirt above the knee, a light beige button up blouse with pearled buttons, and a blazer to match the skirt. You applied a fair amount of neutral colored makeup in order to rejuvenate your features to not look like you’ve been miserable for the past 10 years. You finished off the look by slipping on some classic, black Mary Jane’s.

        For the first time since inheriting this 1999 Verna, you were glad the aircon was a hunk of junk and only blew hot steam. Of course you drove with the windows down to receive actual fresh air, but you angled the conductors towards the biscuits, keeping them toasty and warm as if freshly baked that morning. Jeon Jungkook would be in the palm of your hands and the job would soon be in your possession. Financial stability: here I come.

        Parked outside of the building, you painted on a mask with all of the false confidence and determination you could muster, before any ounce of regret could slip in. Once the clock hit 8:55am, it was time to go. You grabbed the biscuits, which you had ever so ‘lovingly’ placed in a basket upping the charm factor, and headed for the entrance.

I need money. I need money. I need money. It was the mantra of your choosing as you took the unnervingly long elevator ride up to the Bang-Lenzo office where your unannounced meeting with Jeon Jungkook awaited. Yes, unannounced. Obviously to anyone with common sense of time, 9:00pm wasn't a viable hour to schedule a meeting for the next morning, so you decided to take the determined approach and show up like you already owned the place. For the first time you had a goal and were dead set on obtaining it. Nothing would stop you from getting that income. I need money.

‘Bang-Lenzo INC.’ read the door sign in front of you. For a moment you closed your eyes, fighting off the urge to walk back to your car and forget this place. But your mantra was quick to erase such thoughts. I desperately need money. Overpowered with feigned confidence, you strutted into the main office. Immediately you were faced with your soon to be desk. It was large and crescent shaped, spacious and tall. In a room to your right, you heard a muffled voice. Surely that was Jeon’s office. With a huff of air, you went to knock on his door.

“Huh? C-come in?” Faint and hurried clattering was heard from inside. With suspicion, you went for the door, revealing behind it the manager, and possible future boss: Jeon Jungkook. Sporting nothing but a set of gray sweats, disheveled hair, and a headset placed around his neck. “Did you need something?” 

The scene in front of you made you lose focus for a split second. You had never seen him before, and by personality description you expected many things except him being viciously attractive. And also a gamer, noted by the Overwatch screen on his computer. The thought left you in a split second, you only had one goal and it did not include sleeping with the manager to reach it. You learned that only works once and it’s never rewarding.

“I’m here for the secretary position? I figured since it’s early and unannounced I’d bring in a little something to eat.” A sweet and charmful voice oozed from your throat, foreign to your body unless it was summoned. The confused manager’s doe eyes lit up once they set intensely on the basket making way to his desk. “I hope you enjoy warm biscuits.” Before he could even question what was going on, you were already sitting across from him, placing your intricate resume in front of his grubby self, you were ready to snatch this job from his hands. He had already fallen victim to the biscuits. You could see the revival in his eyes as soon as he took the first bite. Butter and cheese were the key, but  it was the mini weenies hidden inside that sealed the deal.

Jungkook didn't bother to offer it much of a glance. Instead he redirected his attention to you. “Are you good with computers and organizing?” Bread crumbs and cheese lingered on the corner of his lips as he spoke, you could have sworn some spittle came in your direction as well. Upon further inspection, the food stains on his sweats may have started a whole community of bacteria. Any office fantasy of getting railed by a manager quickly died with this individual, and some word of mouth started to make sense.

“Yes. Anything document and spreadsheet related I can handle, not to mention emails, and of course scheduling agendas-“

“And you made these? From scratch?” He held a biscuit in awe, and you couldn’t help but feel success in your future.

“I did.” You offered a soft, shy smile. Another desperate attempt to charm him for the job.

“Do you think you can bring them in on Monday mornings? Starting this Monday? Tell you what, I’ll raise you to $16 an hour if you do.” You choked on your saliva, instantly entering a coughing fit. He really might be off his rocker, but in this economy, who cares? Not you, because for simply baking Sunday nights you get an extra $40 a week. With this bread, you get your bread. 

“I certainly can! It would be my pleasure.”  “Great! Then let’s sign the paperwork and make it official.” He rummaged through his files to retrieve the contract. “Gosh, I can’t wait to tell the other managers all about my new beautiful secretary who cares for me, and cooks for me, and, who knows; maybe even have a secret romance with me?” There it was, the inappropriateness everyone talked about. Jungkook didn’t give you time to come out of your confused state. “Ha! I’m kidding! It’s just a joke. We’re professional. Professional. We’ll of course report our relationship to HR.” A noise seemingly from The Grudge escaped you. There was an ungodly uncomfortable silence before he decided to kill the awkwardness of the situation.“KIDDING AGAIN!” 

        You didn’t question the lacking interview, or how Jungkook was quick to hire you. It was the most unethical thing in the world and yet? You didn’t care. You were one step closer to financial stability, and that was all you could ever ask for. With the contract filled out and already added to the payroll, you had officially signed your soul over to the white collar world. Serving as the official secretary of Jeon Jungkook. He truly was an oddball, and somewhat inappropriate, but he didn’t give any indication of being an asshole of a boss. Too friendly and annoying, but you had the gut feeling he might just be a decent enough boss. Or at least not so much of an idiot that you can tolerate working for. Besides, the money’s good.

        Walking out of and looking back at the building, your eyes spotted his office windows, with him behind, cheerfully waving you off as he ate the remains of the biscuits. A subtle reminder, you needed to prep your baking game.

--- 

       With a more dressed down version of what you wore to the impromptu interview, you drove your car over to the office building. Only this time, pulling up to the parking lot as you were now an employee. Jungkook’s car was already there. A sleek, black Equus. In comparison to its ancestor, your Verna, it exuded upper management presence. He clearly was a successful 27 year old, and you aspired to be able to reach as much coin as he probably had some day. Really, all you ever wanted in life was money. Were you willing to work much for it though? Probably not, but you didn’t have a choice. It was time to get in gear and make up for lost time. 10 years of your life, in fact.

        You stopped thinking about past mistakes before you could let them affect your first day. Taking the biscuits and purse in a hurried manner, you rushed up to the office. Only an hour earlier than the rest, but you still had things to prove, if only to yourself.

        Upon arrival, Jungkook was busy fiddling on your computer. Documents and folders were neatly spread out on a corner of your desk, waiting to be filed and sorted.

“Hey Y/N, You’re early! I hope you don’t mind, I’m setting up your company email so you can quickly get started.” His quick fingers stopped abruptly, for just a moment, his hand reaching for the biscuits. “And thank you for these, I didn’t think you’d actually make them.” He cocked his head in surprise and took a bite before finishing setting up your computer and programs. The comment left you with an odd feeling.

“Of course I would, I promised it.” Truthfully you only agreed because of the pay raise, but you would still hold up with it. No complaints. “Why did you up my pay grade if you didn’t think so?”

“I don’t know, incentive? I figured this would be an easier way to have someone stay for longer than a week at least.” Shaking his head for only a brief second, he continued. “But there’s something about you that tells me you’re going to be the perfect fit here. You have potential, Y/N. That’s why I hired you.” What the fuck was he talking about, ‘Potential’? You were a 28 year old deadbeat, a failure and a degenerate according to your relatives. You had anything but potential. Noting the hesitation to answer, Jungkook changed the subject swiftly. 

“And it’s done. I’ll give you a quick rundown of things on the machine and then we can work with organizing my schedule, I am so out of sync with this company and I haven’t a clue when my next meetings are.” With a clap, he stood up and motioned you to the seat. He continued to peruse through the biscuit basket, searching for the ‘cheesiest ones’.

        After a tour throughout the company programs and where supplies and files were around the office, the other workers started to arrive in a timely fashion. Some didn’t bother to give you the time of day, but others decided to greet you as soon as they walked in. Particularly a few of the guys from accounting and sales were quite enthusiastic to greet you. If you remembered correctly, the younger pair of them were from Accounting; Jimin and Taehyung, they were really nice, a bit shy as were you, but very polite and warm. You watched as they sat at their corner and bickered slightly, but it seemed to be in honest fun. The one from sales, Hoseok, was the opposite in terms of shyness. He welcomed you with the most charming of smiles and emphasized that if you ever needed a helping hand around the office to not hesitate to ask him. He cheerfully chatted your ear for a few minutes giving you a small idea of what a day in the office might be. “It’s not that bad once you get used to it, you just need to give us a chance.” You heard his hidden pleas. Many people came and went from this place and their tongues never ceased to express their distaste for it. Even most of your coworkers gave off an air of annoyance with the place. You couldn’t blame them, but basing your experience on first impressions only, it could be worse. Only time will reveal the shithole everyone else claims this place to be.

        It was 20 minutes past 8:00am and the once empty office was now filled and working. Jungkook came out of his office ever so often, glancing over the the desks, ‘tsk tsk tsk’ is all he ever spoke before going back behind his door. You thought to ignore his manner and focus on organizing his schedule based on the emails he forwarded you. He had plenty of meetings, webinars and conference calls to attend, and they were all scattered around. On your shared calendar, you added the event reminder and description for each and every one for the next month, even going an extra step to add reminders on your own calendar the day before, just to make sure he’s up to date. 

        A new email displayed on the screen, an impromptu conference call for Jungkook in 10 minutes labeled ‘URGENT’. You were about to head to his office to notify him, but you remained seated as the entrance door swung abruptly, startling you just enough to make you forget your name and the company you now work for. All you saw was a coat being placed on the rack next to you with an exasperated sigh escaping the core of the individual. Right away, it was clear that if there was anyone in the entire building that hated having to wake up early in the morning just to show up to work in this unfortunate place more than you, it was him. Like the majority of the employees, he looked straight up miserable, even behind dark colored sunglasses. The freshly made venti Iced Americano, the slow paced walk to his desk and his disregard to show up on time were, in your opinion, strong indicators of his likely hatred for his job.

        Settled in his desk, he removed his shades. His narrow, cat-like eyes drew you in like magnets, there was no telling whether or not his iciness was natural, or a ruse to limit his interactions with the rest of the staff. Yet somehow they were still fitting for his rounder, chubbier cheeks. His lips were already pursed downward, but they seemed to curl even further and remain that way almost permanently as Jungkook peered his head out. You tried calling out to him, but your voice was muted by his own exclaims.

“Yoongi!” He shouted, you could say enthusiastically, towards the late addition in the office. He released another sigh, this time accompanied by an eye roll.

“Not now, Jungkook.” His voice was deep and low. Eyes never abandoning his monitor as Jungkook approached him. 

        Whatever conversation they were having was nothing but whispers and subtle head shakes. Yoongi was it? Didn’t seem in the mood for whatever chatter the manager kept going on about. You noticed bow everyone in the office was trying to work, but not being able to steal sudden glances from the conversation. Judging by those, especially Hoseok’s since he was sitting right at the situation, you assume they all had an idea as to what was unfolding. You, however, could only assume was an odd scolding in Jungkook’s manner for him showing up late.

        A ringing alert brought your focus back to your own desk, the incoming call you guessed was from Corporate due to the email. Jungkook had previously requested that you warn him first before answering any calls from them, and you remembered what you were ready to do before Yoongi walked in. Not wanting to bring in any attention to yourself you debated quickly which was the best option, calling him over or going straight to him, but you didn’t even answer yourself before your legs started moving on their own.

“Jungkook.” You tapped his shoulder gently, and spoke softly. The young manager startled a bit, and you were unsure if the other man’s expression was relief or annoyance, but you let it go quickly.

“Yes? Oh! That reminds me. Everyone!” What you wanted to avoid was exactly what he gathered: attention.

“This is Y/N, office secretary. I want you all to make her feel welcome, be kind.” He kept going on one of his badly timed speeches until no one paid him any mind.

“Jungkook, you have-”

“Would you both excuse yourselves and talk elsewhere?” The deep voice that spoke seemed to command more authority than Jungkook did. 

“Sorry,Y/N. Yoongi’s a bit on edge due to his divorce trial.” The last phrase he tried to utter as a whisper by leaning close to your ear, and although he made it sound like such, it was still loud enough for people to hear.

“Do you really have to tell people about my personal life? Where does it end with you?”

“I felt like I needed to excuse your attitude, she’s part of our family now anyways, she can know.” 

        Their bickering picked up again, Jungkook defending the reasoning for his declarations and Yoongi countering with how he always oversteps fine lined boundaries and doesn't have any common sense. Although you very much agreed with what Yoongi was saying that it was an invasion of privacy, you were still caught in the middle of their crossfire and all you wanted to do was inform Jungkook about the god forsaken call.

“JUNGKOOK.” Your raised voice silenced their bickering, and the room came to an onlooking halt. Anxiety started creep behind you due to shouting over your manager on your first day, causing flashbacks of previous outcomes due to this similar situation to roll like a montage in your head, but your patience was running thin.

“What, what is it?” Jungkook, unphased by the situation, cocked his head at you in slight confusion.

“You have a call from Corporate.” You maintained your stern tone, but you were wavering internally. His demeanor took a turn, eyes so wide you feared they would pop out.

“Did you answer?” Whispers gave an undertone of fear. With the phone still ringing in the background, you shook your head.

“Good. Tell them I’m out with a major client. I’m not here.” He hurriedly walked you back to the phone. The glint in his eyes says you should worry, but you swallowed and answered with the same feigned confidence you used for the interview.

“Bang-Lenzo, this is Y/N.”

        You successfully got rid of the Corporate call in the morning, but you were unsure how long that might last given the urgency they requested it with. And Jungkook’s behavior regarding any calls from Corporate today, or the rest of the week from what he stated, was worrisome. It was a concern you’d tuck to the back of your head, it wasn’t your business anyways.

        As the day went on, you saw that life in the office was quite eventful, so to speak. After the ordeal of Yoongi’s divorce proceedings this morning, and Jungkook avoiding Corporate like the Black Plague, an array of unusual things for a normal day to day office routine continued to happen.

        Mainly, Jungkook was entirely distracting. To you, the staff and mostly to himself. He would constantly try to make conversation with anyone, and the topics were always painfully awkward. Anytime he was actually in his office, more time was spent playing Overwatch with Taehyung than doing any kind of work. Not to mention he eventually ventured over to the conference room, with Jimin and Hoseok in toe, for their “twice a day dancercise routine” as their official 15 minute break away from their computers.

        If you thought the nonsense would end there, you were soon to be corrected. It in fact continued in the numerous times Taehyung and Jimin came by your desk asking for copies. And not even official work copies- they were asking you to print out different versions of invitational flyers for their ‘seasonal crop party’. To your surprise, Taehyung had inherited the only strawberry farm in the region due to his grandparents passing, not like you had bothered to ask anyways. The only question you cared an answer for was if Jungkook had approved of using office supplies for this. It shouldn't have shocked you like it did that the man himself had designed the flyer and organized such an event, but still. 

        Lunchtime couldn’t arrive quicker. Some of the staff beelined with their meals over to the lunchroom area, while the others went out to eat. You half expected Jungkook to take advantage of the lunchroom crowd for his shenanigans, but he opted for eating in his office with Jimin and Taehyung instead. You could hear their incessant planning murmurs as you passed by to heat up your meal.

“Y/N!” Jungkook exclaimed once he caught your movement. “If the others give you the cold shoulder, feel free to join us here for lunch.”

“Oh, it’s okay. I planned on eating at my desk,” You chose your next words carefully, feeling the party planners’ gazes. “But I’ll keep it in mind in case I get too lonely, thank you!” The soft smile that spread across your smile was enough to comfort them from the small rejection. They went back to their discussions and you headed for the microwave.

        Peaking your head into the lunchroom, it was filled with the younger, unwelcoming faces from earlier. It’s not like you planned on sitting down and chatting with them, you were there just to heat up your lunch, but upon entry you noticed how their conversations volumes lowered all the way down to whispers and snickers. You focused your attention on the whirring noises and beeps the microwave offered as a mere distraction. It was a curse you carried for as long as you could remember. Any giggle, whisper, snicker, or anything of the sort you heard in your perimeter, you felt was directed at you. As if they could see the list of failures and misfortunes displayed on your back.

        You took your bowl and offered the room a nervous smile and nod before leaving, hoping it came across as a ‘sorry to bother, enjoy your lunch’.  As you exited the room, Hoseok, tailed by Yoongi, was heading with his food over to the conference room.

“Y/N, come join us if you want.” Hoseok was beaming, if the sun was human it would be him. Contrary to the one walking past him, not bothering to stop. He could be truthfully considered the dark side of the moon. Although with his back to you, you could make out his unrelenting scowl reflecting in the conference room’s glass wall. “Ignore him, he’s still mad over this morning.”

“All things considered, I can’t blame him. But I think I’ll pass.” Hoseok hooked his free arm around yours before you could continue.

“Nonsense, you shouldn’t cast yourself out on the first day.” In truth, Hoseok’s friendly manner and joyous attitude couldn’t be denied. You felt his genuine interest in making sure your transition into the office was a smooth one. In the room, Yoongi was already gulpin down his food, not bothering to glance up until he spoke.

“Shut the door so I can tell you…” Words escaped him, replaced by a sigh as he spotted your presence, and Hoseok’s sudden realization of what this lunch reunion entailed. Surely, they were meant to discuss the divorce proceedings, but Hoseok forgot upon trying to welcome you.

“Right… Y/N, rain check? Alone on your first day though...” He sighed as he flushed with embarrassment and you couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Don’t worry,” that was directed more at Yoongi if anything, a small assurance accompanied by the subtlest of nods. The rest was for Hoseok, as a dismissive joke to calm his worries. “I’ll probably join the Crop Festers and their shenanigans.” He cocked his head in confusion, a sharp ‘hm?’ caught in his throat. You brushed it off, leaving them with a wave. Wishing them a nice lunch and closing the door behind you, it was unknown to you that the Crop Festers had overheard, and were expecting you at Jungkook’s door excitedly.

“So you’re joining us then?” Taehyung assumed overjoyed, and Jimin couldn’t hide his giddiness. Jungkook was at the back at his desk, shaking his head in tune with soft chuckles before waving you in. It was clear that there was no way to have an unbothered lunch for the next 45 minutes, so… You joined.

        Tae, as he now urged you to call him, and Jimin made space for you between them. Rice, meats, noodles, and an array of veggies were spread across the desk, now along with your own addition of food and in no time you were all eating and sharing your meals. Jungkook even offered up the few remaining biscuits, causing Tae and Jimin to fuss over why weren’t they brought out sooner and how good of a cook you were. Now they were expectant for next Monday morning for a pleasant cheesy boost.

        Unknown to your conscious self, you were having a nice time. Further into the lunch, you became more involved with the Crop Party planning, and were even getting a bit excited for the day to arrive. A paid work day for a strawberry picking party? Who could say no to that? You weren’t ready to admit it just yet, with it being the first day and all, but… You were starting to like this place, even if you weren’t ready to acknowledge it. Once lunch was over, and everyone was making their way back to their desks, they eyed you with slight annoyance as you walked out of the office along with Tae and Jimin, still laughing at one of Jungkook’s impressions of some of the staff. Unaware, Yoongi and Hoseok exchanged a suspicious glance. Who was to blame any of them? It was a first for them to see someone new being friendly, or accepting the office shenanigans as they transpired.

        Afternoon was a milder version of what the morning turned out to be, everyone was calmer now, and as the hours passed you noticed they worked harder. Even Jungkook was filing reports and taking work calls, as long as they weren’t from Corporate. One of your last tasks was to send out some notice of change in policy emails to clients, it was the most time consuming, but it helped the remaining hours pass by in a flurry.

        Bags started to be packed and coats began to be thrown on as the clock got nearer to 5:00pm. Everyone was ready to put an end to the odd Monday, and you could tell by their soft smiles and shy ‘See you tomorrow’s.  Hoseok dropped by your desk with a “Lunch tomorrow, for sure!” before leaving and wishing you well. Yoongi followed behind him, not offering anything at all. More than likely still fussy over his personal issues being announced in the office. Jimin and Taehyung each went for a goodbye hug, as they were more than excited to have you aboard. Often they carpooled, you found out that they live together on the farm. After being friends for so long, they decided to run it together. Only you and Jungkook, who was still stuck in his office remained. With your things on hand, you peered through his window to give him a small wave which he returned, followed by pointing to the phone and making mocking expressions of talking too much. With a shake of your head, you went to clock out, putting an end to the first day on the job. You would call it a success, for it being your very first 8-5, and it deemed celebration. So once you hopped on your Verna, and peered out of the parking lot, your destination was clear: Slack Jack’s. 

        You had never once been there on a Monday, much less after 5:00pm. Late weekend nights were what you had grown accustomed to due to your old odd jobs here and there. But much to your surprise, the ambience at this hour was much more tranquil and up your alley than what you were used to. You hated crowds and loud groups of people, and there was none of that here. Eyes scanned the bar for your favorite and only owner, who upon noticing your arrival called you over to an empty stool up at the bar. Eager steps made their way over as he placed your favorite shot on the counter: a water moccasin. You paid no mind to the individual next to your stool as you sat down, eyes trained on the peachy, sweet and sour whiskey shot glass before you. Widened eyes stared, unknown to you, as you drank it in one big gulp, placing the now empty glass on the counter, snapping and pointing at Jackson with finger guns as you exclaimed “Hit me again”.

        A smirk played on the corners of his mouth as he placed a second one just as you finished asking. Knowing your habits, he made two as soon as he saw you. “I’m guessing today went... ?” He was expecting you to tell him all about your day, as soon as you finished fighting off the burning feeling down your throat. It was always the second one that got you the most. Hissing for only a few seconds, you spoke.

“Honestly? Honestly honest? I can’t complain.” Alcohol was slowly starting to take effect on you as you rambled on. “At first I was kinda freaked out? Because everyone was kinda weird? OH! And then Jungkook decided to out a guy’s whole divorce or something?” In the background, next to you, someone cleared their throat as Jackson bit his bottom lip, trying to hold in a chuckle, but you went on. “I don’t know, it was weird. But like afterwards, it was pretty chill. Jungkook ain’t that bad. And lowkey? I can’t wait for the strawberry season, dude.” A snort escaped you as you thought back on the Crop Party. You couldn’t wait. Tae mentioned something about making fresh milkshakes, and right now you were wildin’ at the thought.

“So I’m guessing you’ve met Yoongi?” Jackson’s hand motioned you to look to your right. Lo and Behold, Mr. Divorcee was magically there, a citrus whiskey on the rocks in his hands. And that’s when it hits you, you have a loud mouth.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry.” Eyes like a deer in headlights, pleading for forgiveness. Yoongi waved it off. You finally heard his voice without a hint of annoyance.

“It’s fine.” Bringing the glass to his lips, he took a long sip. Which reminded you.

“Jackson, may I please--”

“Have another?” He chuckled as he went to prepare a fresh shot. “Don’t get carried away tonight, though. You work tomorrow, remember?” 

“Hey, I have self control. I won’t drink past 6:30, I swear.” To even prove such control, you didn’t rush to down the shot. Instead you tried to build a conversation with the man in charge of the drinks, but he cursed silently at a reminder.

“Fuck, excuse me for a sec. I have to call my parents.” You remembered him mentioning something about an upcoming anniversary as he rushed to the back, leaving you alone with Yoongi, a shot and your thoughts. 

        Allowing your mind to travel far for a moment, the waterfall of bitter memories with your family started to cloud your field of vision. Forgetting where you were and who was around, you brought your hands up to either cheek and gave yourself some quick, small smacks in an attempt to distract your tear ducts from doing their job. A groan escaped you as you reached for the shot in front of you, disappearing it in an instant. So much for self control.

        The man next to you watched in awe. He already knew far more about you than whatever first impressions you thought you gave, courtesy of Jackson. But he was one to always doubt the extent of the things he said, and since forming odd suspicions of you at the office, he figured now was the time to see if anything added up. 

“Escapism?” The sudden voice shocked you, and brought you back to reality. Another snort made its way out your nose, in an endearing manner.

“You can say that. No, you know what? Life is a bitch.” In your drunken manner, you broke. You vented, you ranted, and you rambled. You laid out your entire life in front of this man, this stranger, revealing more than what was necessary, but you couldn’t stop yourself. “And now here I am.” Fingers tapped the counter, antsy. Waiting for Jackson to come back and serve you yet another shot to calm down.

“I see, I’m sorry for all that. Things are looking up now, at least?” Yoongi shrugged, a winced expression since your story was still fresh in his mind. “But, if it makes you feel any better, I have some fucked up shit going on myself."

“Oh really? A divorce? Family exile beats loveless marriage any day, boy.” Another side effect of your alcoholism was straight up competitiveness. Even though it stung him, he couldn’t help but laugh. For him, it even felt like the first time in a while he had done so earnestly.

“My wife is pregnant.” Whiskey glass was brought back to his lips for a moment, barely touching them. “And it’s not mine.” He finished off the remainder of the glass, while you stared in silence, jaw dropped.

“Whoa, that sucks... How do you know though?” You brought your face closer to him, in curious intrigue, not knowing what personal space was; but he didn’t mind much as he inched in a bit closer to speak.

“I had a vasectomy.” A sighed escaped his core as he too revealed his life to a stranger. “Before we got married, we were clear that we didn’t want children. At least not for a long time, so I got the surgery done. If we ever wanted kids we would have a talk and take out time to decide how to go about it. But one day,” he shook his head, thoughts lost in the memory “she was very persistent that I go get the reversal done. Like, that I had to get it done that week. And I found that suspicious, so I pretended to get it.” His fingers now mimicked yours earlier, lightly tapping on the counter. “We waited the recovery time, had sex, and a few days later, she was pregnant. So I filed for divorce. Do I win now?” His usual serious pout curled into a smirk as you shook your head no.

“Nah, I still win. You can always get a new wife, I can never get new parents. I don’t make the rules, chief.”

        The mood was starting to liven up, but the universe often threw curveballs in your direction. Text alerts distracted you from your office chatter with Yoongi, and again, you soured. It wasn’t often when you received messages from your cousin, but you never talked about the elephant in the room. This time, however.

‘Your dad’s been asking about you lately. Anything worth mentioning?’ You watched the words fade from the pop-up screen, and debated in silence. The shift was visible, and Yoongi caught it as it happened. “Is everything okay?” he asked. Instead of answering, you simply opened the chat and showed him the message. Grabbing your phone in his hands he stared.

“Do I answer? Do I just leave it for tomorrow? What could I even bother telling?” Complaints continued to spew out of your mouth, muting the light clicks of Yoongi’s rapid fingers working on the keyboard. You’re only brought back from your rambles when you feel him pressing your phone still in his hand, back into yours, a message already written out in the text box.

‘I just started at a new office job. Safe, secure. It’s working out.’ Short, simple and to the point. A quick nod was enough for him to press send. As he pulled away, leaving you with the chat which was instantly read, you expected to feel a bit better, but your worries and anxiety remained as your fingers drummed at a quickened pace, itching for yet another shot. 

        Right on cue, Jackson’s presence made its way to you. Catching your tells, his hands moved straight to the Schnapps.

“Actually, I think she might be better off with water instead.” You shot daggers at him, annoyed at such an assumption. “Same for me. You said you won’t drink past 6:30. I don’t make the rules, chief.” You couldn't grumble out much, because as much as you desperately wanted to be irresponsible and drown your sorrows in waves of alcohol, you had a new, very decent, job to uphold. And that required showing up sober.

        The rest of the night went by pretty decently, ending with a new weird routine of going home early instead of waiting until Jackson finished closing off, to drag you all the way to his car. The nights you drove to your home from the bar were less than the ones he posted you up at his own apartment. 

“You’re good to drive, right?” This time, it was Yoongi who was nice enough to walk you over to the beat up Verna at the end of the lot.

“Surprisingly enough, I am. Thanks.” Sticking the key into the lock, you jiggled it around. The only sure way to open the door these days. “What about you?”

“Considering I only had one glass of whiskey, I think I’m alright.” He motioned over to the Genesis next to you. “I’m gonna head out. Drive safe.”

        You nod and make sure he's at least safe besides his car door before entering yours. Turning back briefly to look at you, your goodbye wave stops halfway as his words reach your ears.

“Lunch tomorrow.” Is all he says. he doesn't even bother waiting for a confirmation, he simply gets inside his car and drives away.

        Starting up your car was always a hassle but you got it kicking in no time. As you pulled out of the lot, you spotted the Genesis still at the empty intersection. You flashed your headlights twice before heading the opposite direction, and from your rearview saw him continue on his way. Despite all the characters and particular personas inhabiting the living bodies of your coworkers, you couldn’t help but think: Yoongi's just might be the most intriguing to you after all.

[castiel-kline]

KitKat’s Random Rewatch (part 2)

The Man Who Would Be King (6x20)

For, um. Obvious reasons.

Ahhhhh this monologue is so fucking good

“But come on, dried dung can only be stacked so high.” Cas should do a stand up routine ngl. This line is some kind of comedic genius

He looked RIGHT at the camera. I remember the first time I saw that I was like hello, this ep is going to destroy me. Spoiler alert: it did. And does.

Cas called Sam being in the cage “a great cost” and immediately went to get him. 🥺 And did he seriously imply his overconfidence gave him the strength to fight his way into the cage? Damn. Confusing, but go off I guess

“Sometimes we’re lucky enough to be given a warning. This should have been mine.” AHHHHH

Cas, come on. You’re smart enough to pick up on when Dean’s being sketchy

Dean said Satan Jr and I forgot this was season 6 for a sec and was about to get mad because that’s not a nice thing to call Jack, Dean. Um, yeah. Turns out they’re talking about Crowley lmao

I have MISSED Crowley’s shouting. He’s so dramatic.

Cas is so done with Crowley’s shit ahaha

The colors of his preferred Heaven are so beautiful

Cas being happy to see other angels will never not make me sad. He’s literally smiling so big considering it’s his s6 self ahhhh. AND THEY’RE HAPPY TO SEE HIM AND HAPPY HE’S ALIVE MY EMOTIONS HURT AHHH

“Freedom is a length of rope, and God wants you to hang yourself with it.” One of my favorite Cas quotes right there

“You never look like you’re joking.” I love Cas’s sense of humor so much. Also, Raphael, kindly stop being an asshole. We do not need to restart the Apocalypse, thanks.

When did Cas stop doing the invisibility thing? Bc that could have come in handy later. Can Jack do that?

Bobby said he doesn’t want to be right about Cas being sketchy. Aww. I wonder if Bobby would have considered Cas one of his boys like Mary did if Bobby had... you know. Lived to see Cas soften out a little bit.

‘I’d die for him, I would.” Aww, Sam.

“That makes you Lois Lane.” Did... did Dean just say Sastiel rights?

I’d be more touched about Dean defending Cas but like... after this he doesn’t ever really give him the benefit of the doubt again, so. I’m a little upsetti spaghetti.

What was up with this demon Bobby guy. He’s funny but like. This is the only time we ever saw him lol

Cassss smite them demons bby. Get em.

All of their smiles at him are so cute. And Cas is just standing there like oop

“I’m still just Castiel.” YES YOU ARE HONEY. AND WE LOVE IT.

Cas is such a bad liar but like he’s also so good at it. Buddy, you’re so complicated. Wouldn’t have it any other way <3

Protective Cas! We love to see it.

OH SHIT he slammed Crowley into the wall so hard it broke the tile. King shit, Cas.

“I’m an angel, you ass.” Another iconic line. This ep has so many.

So it IS official canon that angels don’t have souls. Well, that sure sheds a lot of painful new light on the soulless Jack situation later.

I know Dean says later that Cas could have asked him for help while he was with Lisa, but tbh I’m pretty sure if Cas had actually asked Dean would have said no. I’m in a psychology course right now, and that makes me marginally qualified to say that Dean was definitely experiencing some major hindsight bias.

What happened to Hell being an endless line? When did you stop that, Crowley? Because that would have saved Bobby and Kevin and Eileen so much unnecessary pain.

“Big bald patriarch” is now the only acceptable way to describe Samuel Campbell. That was hilarious. Thanks, Crowley.

I should also mention it’s weird to see Crowley without the beard. Does anyone else get that upon rewatch?

Did Cas actually take 50000 souls from Crowley just to throw Raphael out of his chair and make a statement? Honey, no. But also, king <3

The trap they set for him... Sam looks so sad about it. Ahh.

Okay but one of Bobby’s reasons not to trust Cas being that Bobby didn’t buy that Cas could be effectively tricked by Crowley is pretty cool. At least someone appreciates how smart Cas really is.

The Sam and Cas angst in this scene is immaculate. When Sam asks, “did you bring me back soulless on purpose?” Cas looks HORRIFIED. I don’t think we see him look that level of horrified again until... the end of 15x15 maybe? With that whole whammy Jack unloaded. Which is... wow. Much to unpack.

“I was there. Where were you?” I think we all know Dean is a little bit of a hypocrite. Because this entire season he most definitely didn’t care about Cas’s problems, and I’m pretty sure he did ask for help one time and they said no. So, you were there, but you weren’t a helping hand. You gotta practice what you preach, Dean-o

I know it was a complicated situation but leaving him in the holy fire is still pretty shitty. Come on, guys

“Get out of my sight.” I’m grinning during an intense scene because GO OFF CAS YOU TELL HIM

“The difference between you and me is I know what I am.” Crowley, kindly stop exacerbating Castiel’s self worth crisis. Please and thanks.

Does Bobby have a guest room? Where’s Sam? Why is Dean sleeping on the couch? Did he just want to? I’m sure Bobby has more comfortable places to sleep. Or maybe Bobby’s couch is just really comfy, idk

God, Dean, don’t be so rude. Don’t call Cas a child. I do not approve of this interaction.

Again, Dean. Practice what you preach.

“You’re like a brother to me.” In light of, uh, recent events, I’ll just leave this here.

Also in light of recent events, this is the second time in this episode Cas said the boys taught him free will. They taught him choice, not feelings. And it was CAS who chose to feel.

“I’m an angel. You’re just a man.” You tell him, Cas

Lmao Cas dipped out before the convo was over. Iconic.

The ending on the bench.... Cas. Sweetie. HE SAID FATHER AHHH. And he looks so SAD. Also, the way it was shot was really cool. I can’t believe I didn’t notice that before.

The way it ended with him just hanging his head. Oh, my heart.

Anyway, this episode is a 10/10 for Cas, obviously, but we’re bumping it down to 8/10 because there was such an imbalance in Dean and Cas vs. Sam and Cas interactions. Didn’t remember the show was doing that crap this early. Also, the plot of season 6 low key still doesn’t make sense to me. Oops 🤷‍♀️

HOWEVER, it did me feel slightly better during my current crisis because Cas slays in this one. So, we’re gonna count it as a win.

If you read this thing all this way through, thanks for being here lol. I hope you enjoyed my ramblings. :)

[nxtritething]

TASK001 : MUN QUESTIONNAIRE 

name  /  alias : caro / care / carebear gender  /  pronouns : female / she&her where  ya  from  ? : u s of a .  orig n y c. the  current  time :  9 pm ( when i started? ) , 1 pm ( when i finished ) job  or  major :  i majored in mechanical engineering and math. no, i canno favorite  thing  (  s  )  about  yourself :  i have some good one-liners.

why  you  joined  hqclouds :  ... i helped make it. also its felt like a long while since i got to play some of my favorite babes, and i just missed them, so i obviously had to jump at an opportunity to bring them back !!!

meaning  behind  url :  it’s uh...... next right thing ,  as in anna’s big song in frozen 2. and i just felt it like, FIT. 

last  thing  you  googled :  zac efron high school musical gif icons, bc i wanted to use for this, but then that account was flagged as adult content and i guess those beloved gifs are lost to the void now...

zodiac :  pisces in  your  opinion  ,  does  your  sign  suit  you  ? : yes. i am a crying fish. also i’m a pisces venus. it makes a LOT of sense. myers  -  briggs :  istj ??? i think?? moral  alignment :  i can be chaotic good, but mostly neutral neutral i think hogwarts  house : i used to be a slytherin, now i’m a hufflepuff. idk what happened to me.

three  fictional  character  (  s  )  you  see  yourself  in  +  why :  uhhhh... 1) bubbles from powerpuff girls. because i am baby. 2) juliet o’hara from psych. i’ve just been rewatching a lot of psych and i love how she’s such a serious yet funny / soft and idk why i just relate to that. 3) john mulaney in mulaney. because this is a cop-out to say i relate to anything / everything john edmund mulaney every does.

i  started  roleplaying : i first started on some fourms ??? on an app on my itouch ??? but my first tumblr rp group was percy jackson and everyone though i was this all knowing pjo fan... when really i was just fast to look shit up on the wikia. i had never read a single page of the series. types  of  rps  i  enjoy :  fandoms, typically ! i used to be exclusively love animated roleplays? like cartoons? but then i transitioned to musicals? like, exclusively playing musical characters??? at this point, tara is like the one exception nowadays... favorite  fcs  to  use :  um... olivia holt is a recent fave? joshua basset, also. my old faves are mary kate wiles and hunter parrish tho. real old. otherwise, i don’t know if i’d say i get attached to fc’s? fandom  (  s  )  you’d  like  to  write  in : i kinda wanna go back to some of my cartoon roots, maybe? i really haven’t deviated from the same 8 - 9 mostly musical characters in literally years...  fandom  (  s  )  you  aren’t  in  but  are  curious  about :  um... the raven cycle ,  miraculous ladybug  , uh..... everything else. i’m so randomly interested in everything.

share  a  funny  roleplay  horror  story :  my favorite is when i was in a youtuber rpf / oc rp, and this girl... made an oc... and made the fc... herself. she made a literal self-insert oc. with herself as the face. like low-res gifs of herself. why, you ask? i think she was trying to ship herself with dan howell. that didn’t age well, did it?

favorite  canon  muse  (  s  )  to  play : do i just list all the characters i’ve been playing for literal years? my recent faves are katherine plumber from newsies and princess anna. favorite  original  muse  (  s  )  to  play : i had a hunter parrish oc. he was in both the pjo and youtube rp. he was obsessed with hanging out with trees and pranks. don’t ask me why. canon  ships  you  can’t  help  but  love :  kristoff / anna , jack kelly / katherine plumber , jake peralta / amy santiago , orpheus / eurydice , && donny novitski / julia trojan. yes, most of these are musicals. who doesn’t love a good love ballad? trope  (  s  )  you  tend  to  be  guilty  of : uhh... adorkable, one of the boys, badass adorable

i  prefer  .  .  . angst  ,  smut  ,  or  fluff :  i am a massive sucker for fluff, but i’m so guilty of angst... i love pain. i don’t really do smut tho. sorry. long  or  short  replies :  i generally prefer short replies, unless we’ve somehow developed a thread into something long. or i’m feeling particularly inspired. pre  plotting  or  chemistry : i love chemistry with all my heart, but sometimes it’s fun to plot past connections that can reignite? idk. mostly chemistry sentence  starters  or  headcanon  memes : headcanon memes, because im never creative to turn a sentence starter into something that makes sense, esp between two characters who don’t know each other. single  muse  or  multimuse  blogs :  multimuse, because i spent too many years reblogging replies to the wrong sideblog and those days are over !!! gif  icons  ,  medium  gifs  ,  or  static  icons : i prefer gif icons for shorter replies and medium gifs for longer ones... or whatever my partner is using. i like some sort of consistency.

grab  the  book  nearest  to  you  and  pull  a  quote  from  it : ‘ what’s the rush? ’ repeat this phase when you’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed out. ask yourself whether somethings really needs doing immediately. are you ignoring your needs in order to do it?  - the little book of sloth philosophy. 

what’s  a  quote  or  song  lyric  that  speaks  to  your  soul  ? : “ did you fall? or did you let go? ”  -  connor murphy to evan hansen, dear evan hansen. ( idk why this immediately jump to mind but... )

top  current  celebrity  crushes :  jeremy jordan, corey cott, jordan fisher, claire saffitz, brian david gilbert. last  movie  you  watched :  bridal boot camp did  you  like  it  ? :  yes. i loved it. it’s absolute garbage and i loved it. favorite  movie  (  s  )    of  all  time : idk but i can always rewatch prince of egypt. godspell favorite  tv  show  (  s  )  of  all  time : uhh.... i keep rewatching psych.   favorite  tv  show  (  s  ) that  hasn’t  ended : brooklyn nine-nine, zoey’s extraordinary playlist. sports  team  (  s  )  you  rep : uh... grew up in a yankee / mets household. favorite  video  game  (  s  ) : pokemon, animal crossing  favorite  youtube  channels : drew gooden, danny gonzalez, jenna marbles.

put  your  music  on  shuffle.  what  six  songs  pop  up  ? :

greased lightin’ from grease live ; oh mother by hunter parrish ; nerds by bo burnham ; a miracle would happen / when you come home to me from the last five years ; just another day from next to normal ; who tells your story from hamilton mixtape. 

i haven’t listened to any of these in forever, but i am still, indeed, musical theater trash.

personal  aesthetic : demin overalls, scrunchies, the color teal, big stuffed animals. dream  vacation  ? : somewhere beautiful with people i love. dream  job  ? : perhaps like designing custom 3D prosthetics dream  car  ? :  i hate driving, but a big ol’ truck. like suv. big one. favorite  musical : gospell, dear evan hansen, bandstand, newsies, shrek the musical, mamma mia, i could go on... unwatched  stuff  in  your  netflix  /  hulu  /  etc :  sailor moon crystal, crash landing on you, locke & key, all the bright places, the half of it, younger, meteor, hello my twenties ...

what’s  a  subject  you  know  too  much  about  +  never  get  tired  of  talking  about  ? : musicals. so many musicals. i know both know too much and not enough.

[stahlop]

Once Upon a Time 2x06 “Tallahassee” Review

Reviews 1x01 1x02 1x03 1x04 1x05 1x06 1x07 1x08 1x09 1x10 1x11 1x12 1x13 1x14 1x15 1x16 1x17 1x18 1x19 1x20 1x21 1x22 2x01 2x02 2x03 2x04 2x05

The mystery man from the season premiere is finally revealed and he is Henry’s father! And apparently a complete asshole. As is August. Ugh! I get that forces apparently had to converge together to get Emma pregnant so she could put Henry up for adoption and Regina could adopt him, but did she have to be betrayed by the man she loved to do that? No wonder Emma’s such a tough cookie and doesn’t let people in. Also, Emma in the past will be referred to as young Emma to distinguish the two.

Summary: Emma and Hook climb a beanstalk to find the magic compass that will get her and Mary Margaret back to Storybrooke. In Emma’s past, we meet Henry’s father and how she ended up in jail (and how she acquired the yellow bug).

Opening: Growing beanstalk

New Characters:

Neal: I know he was in new characters previously as Mystery Man, but since we actually know who he is now, I’m putting him in here again. Also, my initial reaction to him was correct, I hate him. We first meet Neal in Portland, OR as he pops up in the backseat of the yellow bug young Emma steals. She thinks he’s the owner, but it turns out he’s also a thief, so, of course, she feels a kinship with him. Now, I’m not sure why, but the costumers did nothing to make him look any younger in this flashback, so he just seems like a creepy, older pervert using a young girl to help him with his stealing exploits. I’m not sure how old he’s supposed to be, but he’s at least 21 since he repeatedly asks young Emma out for a drink and she’s only supposed to be 17. But, I’m guessing he’s more between 23-25, even though he looks his real age which is around 35. Anyway, he gets out of a cop pulling them over by being completely misogynistic with the cop, and they go on their way. We next see him and young Emma in a convenience store and she’s very pregnant, and he refers to her as his wife. Neal distracts the cashier from him and young Emma shoplifting by asking him directions to Eugene on a map. A customer comes in and notices them stealing so young Emma pretends to go into labor. This whole scene is hilarious. They leave and we find out that young Emma is not pregnant and that she was using the bag under her dress to collect the pilfered items. And then they’re kissing in the car. Ew! They go to a motel and grab a room that a family is leaving and happens to not close the door all the way. Well, that’s lucky. Young Emma notices a dreamcatcher and explains what it is to Neal. He calls it flypaper for nightmares. He thinks they should keep it. They’re still living in the bug so young Emma doesn’t find that feasible. Neal suggests getting a real place together. Young Emma is skeptical and even suggests Neverland, which angers Neal slightly. He finds a picture of a map and tells young Emma to point to a place with her eyes closed. She points to Tallahassee, so they decide that’s where they’ll go. Young Emma asks if this is what he really wants and he says what he really wants is her. I really want to believe him, but knowing what we know later, I find it hard to believe. Neal is in a mood the next time we see him. He’s apparently wanted by the FBI and he managed to snag his poster from the post office. He stole some expensive watches when he was in Phoenix. He came to Portland and stashed them in a train locker. He tells her Tallahassee is out, he needs to head to Canada. Young Emma assumes she’ll go with him. He needs to go alone. She doesn’t think so. They argue until she decides that she’ll get the watches out of the locker. They can fence them, use the money to change their identities, and go to Tallahassee. Honestly, I thought that Neal was doing this to set young Emma up even before August came on the scene. But, apparently he really does love her and didn’t plan on being a complete asshole. So young Emma goes and gets the bag out of the locker. I’m still not sure why Neal couldn’t do this. It’s not like anyone knows where he is. Why would security think it odd if he got a bag out of a train station locker? It doesn’t seem as if it’s being watched for any reason. Why did young Emma have to be involved with this whatsoever? It seems like the fencing of the watches would be the more dangerous part of this whole scheme. Anyway, young Emma brings them to Neal and he thinks he can fence them for around $20,000. He’s going to  fence the watches and reminds her to meet him at 9:00, and gives her one of the stolen watches so she has the time. Again, seems like this would be some sort of set up, except he hasn’t met with August yet. Neal is walking to meet his fence and feels someone following him. He runs off and the person runs after him. The guy tackles him and Neal thinks it’s a cop, but it turns out to be August!  He and Neal argue about who’s doing a better job taking care of young Emma. August realizes Neal actually loves young Emma. He thinks that will make leaving her easier, because he’ll want to do right by her. August asks Neal if he believes in magic. Neal considers this before telling August that he obviously does (you didn’t answer the question Neal). August says he’s going to show Neal something that will make him believe. It’s in his typewriter box. And Neal does believe the minute he sees what’s in the box. August tells him about the curse and that Emma needs to break it, and she can’t do that with Neal in the picture. August asks him if he’ll do the right thing. And the right thing is apparently setting young Emma up for stealing the watches. WTF, Neal?  We see Neal meeting with August two months later in Vancouver, Canada. He feels guilty about young Emma (GOOD!) and just wants to know if she’s okay. August informs he she got 11 months. He says it should be him in there. Well, it’s good to know he has feelings about this. Why didn’t he just get himself arrested and not let young Emma know? Why did he have to frame her? Ugh!! Neal wants August to promise he’ll be there for young Emma since he can’t. He does. He gives August the money from the watches and the car (with a clean VIN just like young Emma had suggested) to give to young Emma so she’ll have a fresh start when she gets out of jail. He also asks that August let him know when the curse ends. I’m sorry, I don’t know what could scare Neal so much that he would frame the woman he purports to love for his crime. That is not love.

Character Observations:

Young Emma/Emma: I’m just going to come out and say it. Young Emma is an idiot. She may know how to steal a car, but she clings to Neal because they’re both thieves, and they don’t have any family. We know she’s grown up in the foster system and she was moved around a lot, so she’s clinging to the little bit of stability that she can find. Even if it’s with a much older man that is a thief. So let’s just skip to the part where she’s set up, because this whole thing is absurd. Young Emma goes to meet Neal at the prearranged location after he fences the watches. She calls him up on her flip phone and finds his number has been disconnected. Then a cop comes and tells her that her boy set her up. He called in a tip and is probably off to Canada by now. Why does the cop know all this information? Neal called in a tip to check the surveillance footage at the train station. Ok. What does this prove? She took a bag out of a locker. Unless they have proof that there were watches in that bag, they have nothing. All they have is the one watch young Emma is wearing and there is no proof she stole it. Technically, it was a gift from Neal, so she’s done no wrong there. The cop tells her to give him the watch and then asks if she knows her rights. He doesn’t even say them to her. She just answers yes. Now, while this technically wouldn’t set her free, anything she would say after this would not be admissible in court, so most likely the judge would throw out the case unless there was other evidence that could be used. So when the cop asks where the rest of the watches were and she said ‘Gone, not coming back’ (and yes, she’s actually talking about Neal), that would not be admissible in court as her knowing about the stolen watches. And the wanted poster had Neal’s picture on it of him stealing the watches! Who was young Emma’s public defender? They did a real shit job for her to get 11 months for possession of stolen goods that she a) didn’t steal and b) they never recovered. I seriously cannot figure out how the hell this case even made it to trial, let alone a guilty verdict. The only thing I could even think they’d get her on was being Neal’s accomplice, but she didn’t even know him them, and they could see what foster home she was in and that it wasn’t in Phoenix.  But back to young Emma, who is feeling very betrayed, obviously. We next see her in jail. The prison guard has a package for her that she has to open in front of her. It’s car keys to the bug, with the swan keychain. The guard says at least she has a car when she gets out, and apparently a baby, as young Emma is holding a positive pregnancy test.

In the EF, Emma volunteers to climb the beanstalk with Hook, which makes him very happy. He has a magic cuff they need to use to climb the beanstalk as it’s enchanted so no one can climb it. Was this instituted before or after Jack? Mulan gives Emma poppy powder to knock out the giant. She also asks Mulan to cut down the beanstalk after 10 hours. Emma’s story is about trust. Hook asks her to trust him several times, but after the betrayal of Neal, it seems Emma can’t trust anyone. Or at least not flirty, innuendo dripping, hot pirates. They manage to knock the giant out and get to the treasure room (with a lot of flirting from Hook, and a lot of eye rolling from Emma), before the giant wakes up and comes after them. Hook gets trapped under some fallen pieces of the roof while Emma freezes when the giant comes after them. Emma manages to trap the giant in his own cage. The giant shares with her that he is alone and how the dried bean he wears around his neck is a reminder of how all humans are killers. This hits a bit too close to home with Emma and she walks away rather than kill him with Jack’s poisoned sword. The giant frees himself and shows her a way out as a favor for not killing him. Emma starts to leave but negotiates another favor since she could have killed him twice. Turns out she wants him to not let Hook go free for another 10 hours after Emma rescues him from the rubble and then conveniently handcuffs him to a chain that happens to be there. Emma says she can’t take a chance she’s wrong about him as Hook pleads with her not to leave him there. She tells him he’ll be okay, she just needs a head start. Emma manages to get down the beanstalk right after the original 10 hours is up. Mary Margaret is upset that Emma told Mulan to cut the beanstalk down. Emma tries to explain but Mary Margaret makes it clear that they go back to Storybrooke together.  Emma hugs her (awww!) and agrees.

Hook: He’s overly flirtatious with all the ladies, but especially Emma. He’s the master of innuendos, and he’s sexy and he knows it. Plus, he can read Emma like an open book. He guesses correctly that she’s an orphan due to the same look in her eyes that the Lost Boys have. He also realizes she’s had little love in her life and asks if she’s ever been in love. She lies and answers no. But after she sees Milah’s tattoo, and deduces that Rumplestiltskin most likely killed her as well as taking Hook’s hand, she confesses that she may have been in love once. This whole conversation is weird. What does having been in love have to do with her perception of Hook?  He continues to be flirtatious throughout their whole journey up the beanstalk and once they reach the giant’s lair. And he’s dead sexy when he has to tie Emma’s hand with his scarf. Yummy! Sorry, but that’s just hot!!! He asks Emma to trust him several times but she just can’t do it, which leads to him being handcuffed in the giant’s castle and pleading with Emma not to leave him there. She tells him she just needs a head start, and he screams for her. I think we have an angry pirate now.

August: Ok, I cut August some slack for leaving Emma when he was seven, because he couldn’t handle that kind of responsibility. I get that. But now he’s technically behind her going to jail because he somehow spooked Neal into leaving her? He calls himself young Emma’s guardian angel and he’s trying to make up for leaving her when she was young. Okay, I get that, but to help frame her so she goes to jail? What’s that all about? August admits to Neal that he can’t say no to temptation, that he’s not built that way. This is true, Pinocchio was never good at making the right choice, but it’s such a cop out. And then it gets worse. Neal gives August the car keys and $20,000 to give to Emma so she has a chance to start over once she’s out of jail. Emma gets the car keys, mailed to her from Phuket, where August apparently took the money meant for Emma. August is an even bigger ass than Neal is. Neal at least felt guilty. August only came back to help Emma break the curse because he started turning into wood. That money could have let her keep Henry.

The Giant: We don’t get a lot of backstory. Only that it seems the fairy tale and EF history got his story wrong. That Jack attacked him and killed his family and he’s the only giant left. He’s very angry toward humans because of this. But in the end, he finds an ally in Emma and gives her the compass and agrees to watch Hook for 10 hours so she can get a head start.

Mary Margaret/Aurora: They find some common ground due to both having been under a sleeping curse. Aurora is having nightmares about a burning red room and someone inside it watching her. Mary Margaret seems happy to have a princess to mother, since Emma won’t let Mary Margaret mother her. And Mary Margaret goes all mother bear on Mulan when she tries to cut the beanstalk down. Mary Margaret makes it quite clear to Emma that they are going home together, no matter what.

Henry: He’s apparently having dreams of the burning red room with someone else watching him as well.

Questions:

Was Cora really going to climb the beanstalk with Hook? She doesn’t seem the type to do that.

Has Mulan been to Oz? Poppies are what put Dorothy and her crew to sleep in the movie.

How long have young Emma and Neal been together by the pretend pregnancy scene?

Is Neal having nightmares? Is that why he wanted to keep the dreamcatcher?

The map that Neal has young Emma point to is a map of all the states the motel chain is located.

What does being in love have to do with being perceptive about why Hook wants revenge on Rumplestiltskin? If Emma had never been in love she wouldn’t understand that Rumplestiltskin killed Milah? That would make her a pretty bad bail bonds person if she couldn’t figure things out like that.

Why does young Emma say Neal got away clean with stealing the watches? The wanted poster has a picture of him stealing the watches! Why does Neal have to explain about the security cameras?

Why is Neal running to Canada? They have extradition laws there. He could still be arrested and sent back to the US. Better to go to Mexico instead.

Is Neal not wanted by the FBI anymore? How is he currently living in New York if he’s still wanted by the FBI? Did he change his identity? He would have to if he has an apartment and seems to working somewhere that requires a suit.

How long has Neal had this train station locker? I don’t know what lockers were like in 1999 or 2000, but according to Google, you can only store something in a train locker for a day.

What’s in the box, August?! What’s in the box?!

Neal doesn’t seem to find August talking about curses weird at all? Could he be from the EF?

Why didn’t Neal just leave? Why did he have to set Emma up to go to jail? Just ghost her and run. 

What does it matter if Hook steals other things from the giant? 

If Neal felt so guilty about what happened to Emma that he wanted to know when the curse broke, why hasn’t he come to Storybrooke to find her? Or is he currently on his way?

Why did the giant have the compass on him? Was he expecting someone to try and steal it? Was it special to him in some way?

Are Aurora and Henry seeing each other in the burning red room? Will they be able to communicate with each other?

Did Emma spend two years in Tallahassee waiting for Neal? Or did she just like the idea of Tallahassee enough to go there after she was free?

Observations:

It’s nice that Emma’s false eyelashes stay on so well throughout this entire journey without bugging her at all.

There are apparently no more magic beans to make portals with, as they were destroyed by the giants after a great war led by Jack the Giant Slayer. 

The swan pendant Emma wears around her neck is the keychain Neal stole for her.

Tallahassee is not near a beach. The closest beach is about 90 miles away.

According to the wanted poster, Neal’s birthday is March 23, 1977. That makes him 22-23 at this point.

Now we know why young Emma went to jail in Phoenix; that’s where Neal stole the watches.

The giant’s castle seems to be made pretty shoddily if just walking makes everything shake and pieces of the roof cave in.

Jack’s skeleton is still in the giant’s castle and his sword has his name on it.

Emma has a flower tattoo on her left wrist.

August says that Emma was sent to a minimum security prison in Phoenix. In Desperate Souls Emma says she was in juvie and her records were supposed to be sealed. A juvenile detention center and a minimum security prison are two separate places. Juvie means she’s under 18 and minimum security means she was tried as an adult.

August sent Neal the postcard in Broken.

That’s a pretty big cage considering the giant’s enemy seems to be humans.

Once Upon a Time Firsts:

We actually saw a dreamcatcher hanging in Neal’s apartment in Broken, but this time it’s shoved in our faces and we will be seeing them again throughout the series.

Hook asking Emma to trust him.

Emma’s tattoo.

Names:

Neal Cassidy: Neal Cassady is the name of a beat poet in the 60’s and hung out with Jack Kerouac. Not sure if this was intentional somehow by the writers or if Neal made up his name being that he’s a thief.

So, I’m extremely angry over young Emma’s shoddy frame job, and the fact that Neal and August got away scott free apparently. I love Hook’s flirtiness and his innuendos. All in all, Emma’s backstory was really important to understand why she doesn’t trust real easily, but I don’t see her trusting Hook any time soon, regardless of the circumstances. But she’s finally starting to trust Mary Margaret and hopefully see her as her mother.

Please leave comments and reblog! Let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future reviews.

@searchingwardrobes​ @thisonesatellite​ @justbecauseyoubelievesomething​ @laschatzi​ @profdanglaisstuff @mariakov81

[thejarleyfic]

finding home. 1/?.

who: Marley Rose, Jake Puckerman

when: ten years apart

where: lima, ohio

what: Marley was invisible in school, always pining for one boy's attention. Ten years later, she's a pop star that's found hiding out in her hometown. Jake had everything in high school, but is now the burnt-out owner of a run-down bar in the town he could never escape. Their paths cross once again, two people trying to find home.

fanfiction.com link

One more week. 

Her mom had texted her during English class to remind her, but truth be the told the thought hadn’t left her head since the day started. Nobody was seeing her preoccupation, only the occasional nudge from the teacher to feign attention to the last few lesson plans before graduation. 

One more week.

The rest of the class shuffled out of the classroom as the bell finished ringing, the volume of the chatter drawing out the last few pages of homework that Ms. Johnston was in the middle of assigning. A class full of seniors weren’t planning on making the last few days of their high school career count, especially as everybody was swapping details about the end-of-the-year parties and summer plans before heading to college. Anybody with even the slightest excitement planned for the next few weeks way far past paying attention to the last assignments of the year.

With a few more scribbles of the last pages, Marley slid the yellow notebook into her bag and stood to slip into the hallway. It was a long trek across the school to get to geology, going through the back hallways avoided the groups of seniors and juniors that blocked entire pathways with their groups. Attempting to go around them had her bag knocked off her shoulder on more than one occasion.

“Wait--” Marley froze, one foot out the classroom door as she glanced to Mrs. Johnston, an older woman that had been at McKinley since her mother was a teenager. There were only a few times that they had interacted before, usually when a volunteer was picked to answer a question about the previous reading. There was still a taste of bitterness each time Marley thought about the fact that she never raised her hand, but she swallowed the feeling in change for the small pleasantry. “It was good to have you in class this year. I wish I would’ve heard from you more.”

A small shoulder shrug, nearly impossible to see under the long, brunette hair hiding the sides of her face and frame. There was nothing to say except the excuses she gave to every teacher that made the same comment, except this time there wasn’t another opportunity next year.

“Any thoughts after graduation?”

A small beat, then the reluctant response.

“I have a cousin out in California, she offered me to stay with her out there while I take a few classes.”

“I’m quite serious. You have some good things going for you, Mary.”

Marley was out the door before the sting revealed itself on her face, biting the inside of her cheek as she navigated the hallway. 

A few corner turns, and she was in the service hallway. Long, closets and empty rooms lining the sides. The lonesome entrance for the maintenance workers, the only one wide enough to fit some of the machinery in. The volume of the more popular hallways was still heard in echos, but it was the most silence she was going to get until the school cleared completely of students later in the day.

It was a few brief moments of solitude, a break from the noise constantly swirling around her head. Peace.

She hadn’t even noticed her eyes closed, her steps slowing to a slow shuffle as the few minutes she had alone ticked away. They only opened with a new sound, a sharp scraping across the tile. A flash of black, and a familiar face sped around the corner with careless speed.

Jake.

Back in their freshman year, he was riding the same scooter down the halls and nearly knocked her head against the wall. It was only a surprising moment of grace that saved her from a trip to the nurse, but it left an impression. A few more near-misses of interaction, a few shared classes where they didn’t say a word. It was stupid that she let herself feel the way she did, it was even more stupid that she never acted on it in the years they had spent in proximity. 

Mom’s voice was in her head, the same advice that was given hours after her first run in with the mysterious boy from the hallways. The same advice that was readily given each and every time Marley complained about her desire to talk with him ever since then.

It was only now that Marley realized that saying now or never wasn’t the same as feeling now or never. Now that the time to act was truly running out, the words couldn’t be restrained. Even if she had tried to hold it back, her lips were moving far before her mind had caught up.

“You’re Jake, right?” Her sudden confidence was too late, her words drowned as he streaked past her. 

No hesitation, no pause. Not even a turn around. A few moments later, and he turned down another hallway. Towards the biology and chemistry rooms, probably heading towards the one exit that the school always forgot to alarm.

“Good things going for me.” She muttered under her breath, another sting in her chest with the reminder repeating in her head. 

He didn’t even look at you, he didn’t even look at you.

--------------------------------------

“One more, Jake.”

The last straggler, Greg. He had a spot at the bar since the first shift at the factory had let out, racking up drink order after drink order. Only bits and pieces of his sob story had spilled out throughout the night, more than enough for Jake to know that the tab wouldn’t be paid off tonight. Last call had been thirty minutes ago, the rest of the patrons had left to carry on at their own houses and let him close in peace.  

“No,” It was a simple enough answer, and probably the expected answer since Grad had pulled this stint a handful of times since Jake took ownership of the bar a few years ago. Whatever confidence the liquid courage granted him, it was enough for him to try his luck again.

“C’mon,” The man slumped back in the chair, obviously not realizing the glazed look in his eye giving away his true state. The half-on tie didn’t help either, on the whole it was almost like watching a used car salesman that got dropped in a washer. Sad, pathetic, but a small part of him wanted to laugh. “You tellin’ me you have something going on the rest of the night?”

A single push of his palm pressed the cash drawer into the machine, the mechanical latch grinding into place. Likely going to need replaced in the next few years, not immediate enough to happen during the upcoming fiscal cycle. He was still in the red from the past few months of stagnant patrons, no reason to push the non-emergent. It was still a useful enough tactic to break any train of thought coming out of drunk patrons, especially once they started comparing lives to his.

“Keys.” Jake didn’t glance over, instead moving his hands to fastening the rest of the bottle stoppers. A few beats of silence, and he did meet Greg with a knowing look. His face white, the red flush from the beer disappeared. It was a quick way to get people out of the building, even if they had to walk. “You got a place nearby to sober up?”

A groan. “Yeah, Mike’s staying late in the shop.”

“Guess you better get going, that’s a block and a half away.” It was almost satisfying getting an eyeroll in response. The customer service aspect of bars usually took this route. “Keys.” A small reminder, met with the sound of metal hitting the bartop. 

“You’re a son of a bitch, you know that?”

“A son of a bitch that’ll let you shift some money around so your wife doesn’t find out how much you’ve spent here tonight.” That did the trick, well enough for a chuckle to come out of the poor man. “You have a week, I mean it.”

“Sure, sure.” He stood up from the bar stools, confirming Jake’s suspicion to take the keys away early. A few steps, nodding along to the promises to pay the tab off in full. Another promise to pay extra, a couple of empty notions that would be forgotten by the morning. It was all heard before, the same routine each time.

“You know,” Greg’s face was serious this time, probably some other attempt at coming up with a grand gesture of appreciation. It looked like he was sending a probe deep into his mind, obviously coming back empty. The uncomfortably long beat ended with the hint of a smirk, stench of Jack hitting Jake’s face like a wall. “Maybe you’ll have a missus one day, then I’ll repay the favor.”

The clenched jaw in response was a well enough warning, with Greg slipping out the door before fully finishing the sentence. Jake watched from the glass door front as Greg took a few stumbling steps down the block, quickly passing the dark alleyways and disappearing from view.

“Asshole.”

The rest of the street was quiet, at least from the view of the front door, an occasional car passing by and the hum of the heating unit out back. A quiet night that was common enough for the line between calming and purgatory was blurred. Tens of thousands of dollars spent turning the downtown streets into the city’s attempt of an entertainment hub. The replaced streetlights and sidewalk didn’t change the core of Lima’s marketing problem: nobody past the age of twelve ever wanted to stay. Those that did were disenchanted with the idea of pretending, leaving the streets dead.

The minute most people turned eighteen, they followed the closest college acceptance letter out of the state. One by one, until all that was left were the warm bodies keeping the basic infrastructure of the town alive. That’s where he came in; someone had to give the poor suckers in town a place to escape home.

Get a grip. The thoughts were shaken off, left on the floor to be swept up later. 

One hand reached up to turn the deadbolt of the door, latching it as the other hand reached for the switch to the outdoor sign. The same motion he did on every closing shift, but with one glance out the window his eyes froze on a sight across the street. A flash of blonde, meant to be hidden under a grey hoodie. A face he hadn’t seen in almost a decade.

That was a lie, but barely. It was a face he saw constantly, almost to the point of being sick of it. She always looked different than she did in high school, she changed her hair and it was on the front page of a magazine. Internet articles were the first to start popping up, the occasional editorial by the local newspaper whenever they caught wind of the girl from Lima living in Los Angeles. Then the music found it’s way over here, and the town may have well caught on fire. Everybody was seeing her photos at award shows, photo shoots, concerts. It took over a year before he listened to anything himself, and he had run out of excuses to avoid it six months before that. All the articles about multi-platinum albums, Billboard singles, awards with the qualifier of “youngest ever” before them. She was kind of a legend around here, the girl that got out. Not only that, she was the girl that got out and made it. 

Marley.

The door couldn’t open fast enough, by the time he felt the outside air on his skin and called out her name again she was already inside her car and starting to leave the parking lot. He still heard it echo back to him, bouncing off the concrete walls with nobody else to hear it.

She was in a hurry, enough of a hurry to nearly run to her car from the late-night convenience store. The last anyone remembered seeing her within Lima city limits was graduation, but now she was here again. In town, in the middle of the night, running from a convenience store in a piss-poor attempt at a disguise. He could see peering over her shoulder as she reversed out of the parking lot, a clearer look at her face. 

“Marley!” He called again, but she put the car in gear and drove down the street. Just like that, the street was once again quiet and frozen. 

She didn’t even turn around. He was alone again, the dark wood of his bar barely lit with the fluorescent lights. Most had given up hope that she’d ever acknowledge her history with the little Ohio town post-graduation, but she was here again. She was here, and she was definitely hiding.

The switch to the outside sign flipped, the buzz of the neon sign died. Why didn’t she turn around?

[ademocrat]

Republican Senators Tried to Stop Trump From Firing Impeachment Witness

WASHINGTON — A handful of Republican senators tried to stop President Trump from firing Gordon D. Sondland, the ambassador to the European Union who testified in the House impeachment hearings, but the president relieved the diplomat of his post anyway, according to people briefed on the discussions.

The senators were concerned that it would look bad for Mr. Trump to dismiss Mr. Sondland and argued that it was unnecessary, since the ambassador was already talking with senior officials about leaving after the Senate trial, the people said. The senators told White House officials that Mr. Sondland should be allowed to depart on his own terms, which would have reduced any political backlash.

But Mr. Trump evidently was not interested in a quiet departure, choosing instead to make a point by forcing Mr. Sondland out before the ambassador was ready to go. When State Department officials called Mr. Sondland on Friday to tell him that he had to resign that day, he resisted, saying that he did not want to be included in what seemed like a larger purge of impeachment witnesses, according to the people informed about the matter.

Mr. Sondland conveyed to the State Department officials that if they wanted him gone that day, they would have to fire him. And so the president did, ordering the ambassador recalled from his post effective immediately. Mr. Sondland’s dismissal was announced just hours after another impeachment witness, Lt. Col. Alexander S. Vindman, and his twin brother, Lt. Col. Yevgeny Vindman, were marched out of the White House by security officers and told their services were no longer needed.

The ousters came two days after the Republican-led Senate acquitted Mr. Trump on two articles of impeachment stemming from his effort to pressure Ukraine to incriminate Democratic rivals. Outraged Democrats called the firings a “Friday night massacre” aimed at taking revenge against government officials who had no choice but to testify under subpoena about what they knew.

Among the Republicans who warned the White House was Senator Susan Collins of Maine, who after voting to acquit Mr. Trump said she thought he had learned a lesson. Others included Senators Thom Tillis of North Carolina, Martha McSally of Arizona and Ron Johnson of Wisconsin. The White House did not respond to requests for comment on Saturday but a senior administration official confirmed the senators’ outreach on behalf of Mr. Sondland, a donor to Mr. Tillis and other Republicans.

Ms. Collins said Saturday that her lesson comment had been misinterpreted and that she had earlier noted that she did not support retribution. “The lesson that I hoped the president had learned was that he should not enlist the help of a foreign government in investigating a political rival,” she said in a statement to The New York Times. “It had absolutely nothing to do with whether or not he should fire people who testified in a way that he perceived as harmful to him.”

The senators did not express the same concern about Colonel Vindman, who is viewed less sympathetically by the president’s allies. Republicans considered some of Colonel Vindman’s comments during his testimony overtly political and, in any case, believed it was untenable for him to remain on the staff of a president with whom he broke so publicly.

Other witnesses who testified have quietly left their positions in recent days. Jennifer Williams, a career official working for Vice President Mike Pence, asked to return early to the Defense Department. Marie L. Yovanovitch, the ambassador to Ukraine removed from her post last spring because she was seen as an obstacle to the president and his associates, retired from the Foreign Service. And her acting successor, William B. Taylor Jr., returned home as well.

Some of these witnesses may begin to speak out. Mr. Taylor has given a series of news media interviews in recent days. And Ms. Yovanovitch has enlisted the Javelin literary agency, picking the same agents who represent John R. Bolton, the former national security adviser, among others.

Mr. Trump on Saturday defended his decision to fire Colonel Vindman, calling the decorated Iraq war veteran “very insubordinate.”

“Fake News @CNN & MSDNC keep talking about ‘Lt. Col.’ Vindman as though I should think only how wonderful he was,” Mr. Trump wrote on Twitter, without explaining why he put the colonel’s rank in quote marks.

“Actually, I don’t know him, never spoke to him, or met him (I don’t believe!),” he continued, “but, he was very insubordinate, reported contents of my ‘perfect’ calls incorrectly, & was given a horrendous report by his superior, the man he reported to, who publicly stated that Vindman had problems with judgement, adhering to the chain of command and leaking information. In other words, ‘OUT’.”

Mr. Trump offered no explanation for why Colonel Vindman’s twin brother, Yevgeny Vindman, who is also an Army lieutenant colonel and who worked as a lawyer on the National Security Council staff, was fired and escorted out of the White House complex at the same time even though he did not participate in the House hearings. Nor did the president mention his decision to recall Mr. Sondland, a hotel magnate who donated $1 million to Mr. Trump’s inaugural festivities before receiving his ambassadorial appointment.

Mr. Sondland and Colonel Vindman were key witnesses in the House hearings. Mr. Sondland, who was deeply involved in the effort to pressure Ukraine, testified that “we followed the president’s orders” and that “everyone was in the loop.” Colonel Vindman, who was on Mr. Trump’s July 25 phone call with Ukraine’s president, testified that it was “improper for the president” to coerce a foreign country to investigate political opponents.

Colonel Vindman, a Ukraine expert on the National Security Council staff, and his brother were scheduled to remain at the White House until July but will now be sent back to the Defense Department. Mr. Sondland, a political appointee, will return to the United States and presumably leave government service.

A lawyer for Colonel Vindman said Mr. Trump’s Twitter messages contained “obviously false statements” about his client.

“They conflict with the clear personnel record and the entirety of the impeachment record of which the president is well aware,” said the lawyer, David Pressman. “While the most powerful man in the world continues his campaign of intimidation, while too many entrusted with political office continue to remain silent, Lt. Col. Vindman continues his service to our country as a decorated, active duty member of our military.”

Mr. Trump’s tweets misstated or overstated testimony about Colonel Vindman. Tim Morrison, who supervised him at the National Security Council for just three months, told the House that he had concerns about Colonel Vindman’s judgment and believed he did not always adhere to the chain of command. But when Mr. Morrison said he had originally heard such concerns from his predecessor, Fiona Hill, she disputed his account.

Ms. Hill, who supervised Colonel Vindman for two years, testified that she had a much narrower concern that he did not have “the political antenna” to deal with matters related to domestic politics. “That does not mean in any way that I was questioning his overall judgment, nor was I questioning in any way his substantive expertise,” she said. “He is excellent on issues related to Ukraine, Belarus and Moldova, on Russian defense issues.”

In fact, Colonel Vindman read from Dr. Hill’s personnel evaluation at his own hearing: “Alex is a top 1 percent military officer and the best Army officer I have worked with in my 15 years of government service. He is brilliant, unflappable, and exercises excellent judgment.”

Democrats on Saturday denounced Mr. Trump’s actions. “By firing Lt. Col. Vindman and Ambassador Sondland like this, the Trump administration signaled it won’t tolerate people who tell the truth,” said Senator Jack Reed of Rhode Island. “The fact that Lt. Col. Vindman’s brother was also removed from the N.S.C., as well as the transfer of Ms. Williams from Vice President Pence’s staff, are signals that the president places blind loyalty above all else, including testimony under oath.”

[orionsangel86]

im scared with where deancas is going and im actually really glad im not the only one, it was great to read your post on endgame destiel because i feel very strongly that way too. I want something to happen in the next couple of episodes. I hoped with the build up we saw in s12/13 was only back peddled because they want to leave destiel for the very endgame, but now they know s15 is the last and they knew that writing these episodes... i want to be optimistic, but have to be realistic too

The thing is, during the S12/13 escalation I was convinced Destiel was on the cards. The whole thing played out like a Victorian gothic romance novel. That ain’t subtext. That’s text. I maintain my stance that the mixtape was the point of no return on Destiel. They can’t come back from that. 

They HAVE hit the breaks since then, and it has constantly been a source of annoyance for me. Leaving me frustrated and confused that they would just stop like that. So yeah, we can float our theories and spec on the topic, but at the end of the day we have two directions left, either they pick up the pace and start making serious call backs to the S12/13 escalation right now and bringing that story to the front line again, or they keep it completely out of the main story, put all the focus on family instead of romance and leave the Destiel stuff out of the minds of the general audience. The second route could still give us something ambiguous at the very end, but it isn’t the grand love story I have always hoped for. I would still feel cheated if that happens. I just happen to think this is the more likely route. 

The next two episodes should give us an indication of which direction season 15 will follow. It all relies on several possible outcomes all related to Cas’s Empty Deal:

Option 1. The deal gets either no mention or only a very small mention and nothing happens in relation to it. Season 14 ends darkly, but not in a way that relates to Cas specifically. There is no obvious Destiel subtext, but Cas’s empty deal still looms over season 15.

This option means its all still up in the air but will leave me still feeling pretty negative over summer hiatus. By delaying the Empty deal completely until Season 15, there is still a potential for it to be triggered by romantic Destiel. The course could still change EVEN if Season 14 gives us nothing. I wouldn’t hold my breath, but I would still have a smidgen of hope that things could turn around.

Option 2. Cas goes to the Empty due to the deal triggering in the finale (as a Mary mirror this seems likely to me). It is NOT triggered by Destiel. It is triggered by Chuck’s return giving Jack a soul, fixing the current issues, and giving Cas the catharsis he has needed all series from his father that the boys got from John in 14x13. Cas finally being rid of his guilt over heaven and being able to finally free himself from heavens bonds could be enough to trigger the Empty deal if it is played alongside a happy Winchester family reunion.

In this option, Cas’s “permission to be happy” comes from Chuck, and him being accepted as a true Winchester brother. I think this option was foreshadowed in 14x18 especially with the MW carving on the table and the empty space still left under the SW:

If Cas’s deal is triggered this way, then I can’t see Destiel being a factor at all in Season 15 outside of the usual subtext. Simply because it takes away the one thing we all otherwise know to be as good as fact: that Cas is in love with Dean. For Cas to be truly happy, this option does imply that there is no unrequited (at least in his mind) love between him and Dean, and that he is completely at peace just being Dean’s brother. I feel this would be a huge disservice to Castiel as a character who has clearly IMO been written as in romantic love with Dean since at least season 6.

This option does however still give us something exciting - in terms of the poetic cyclic story telling currently being used in the show, having Season 15 start with Dean going to the Empty to rescue Cas in a reverse of Cas’s rescue of Dean in Season 4 is a beautiful potential plot that I would thoroughly enjoy. It doesn’t however mean Destiel - though I suppose there is a potential for them to explore even though it puts Cas’s feelings into question.

Option 3. Cas breaks or changes the terms of the Empty deal in some way - goes to the Empty of his own volition in order to save someone else or stop something.

This option is another potential cop out of the otherwise extremely tropey current deal. But writing it this way still does give us potential Destiel depending on Dean’s reaction and what happens next, because it once again leaves it open. It doesn’t confirm or deny Cas’s feelings for Dean. However it certainly wouldn’t rekindle my faith in endgame Destiel, but leave me even more curious as to what happens next.

Option 4. Cas goes to the Empty due to the elements in option 2 PLUS a confession or something from Dean giving us canon Destiel. 

Obviously this is the preferred option. In my opinion, the ONLY way that Cas would give himself permission to be TRULY happy and have the deal triggered in its current state would require the following things:

Jack’s soul is restored and he is back to normal

The Winchesters reunite as a strong family

Cas is TOLD that he is a part of that family unconditionally

Chuck returns and gives Cas the catharsis he needs to forgive himself for his actions in heaven

Dean confesses his love

(The final point being the trigger following all the previous elements taking place)

Do I think option 4 is likely? Not really. I just haven’t seen enough build up even in subtext for this to happen in the Season 14 finale. Do I think option 2 could happen without that final key point though? Yes.

At this stage I would honestly prefer options 1 or 3 taking place so I can at least still have hope in the ambiguity, but in my mind Cas is set up to go to the Empty at the end of the season. Mary’s death confirmed that to me, and the current treatment of Cas as well in the latest episode also seems to be setting up for his loss having a huge impact on the Winchesters. The story is being reset. Season 15 should start with Sam and Dean alone having lost everything, and then the course of the season leads them to fight for everything they desire. 

The reason I say this is that this season is all about asking the question “What do you want?” I want Season 15 to start with the Winchesters answering that question themselves, and then fighting to get it. 

Perhaps, if this does happen without the Destiel element at the end of season 14, there is STILL a small potential for Destiel to happen based on DEAN’S actions in Season 15, as Castiel’s return would be the answer to the question “what do you want?” when posed to Dean. I would still see it as a disservice to Castiel, but this would depend on how the show takes that potential story forward.

This is my spec anyway. Lets hope I’m wrong.