#but I'm thinking about getting unique with things

[anyamaris]

Title: Bedtime Secrets

Summary: When you stay over at your friends last minute, you thought San was away, staying in his room. You didn't expect him to come home and find you in his bed.

Pairing: Choi San x F!reader

Word Count: 2023

Rating: 18+ M

Trope: Friends to lovers, non idol au, smut

Warnings: THIS IS NONCON-YOUVE BEEN WARNED. DO NOT READ IF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THIS-Somnophilia, NONCON(again), vulgar language, backshot, yes the reader is into it at the end but still NONCON. obvs minors dni 18+

A/N: This is for my lovely @sanjoongie because she's so amazing and wrote JK Star Wars for me 💜I've been wanting to write this for awhile anyhow so I finally did it. Also, I don't know if it needs to be said but I in no way condone noncon outside of our fictional controlled environments and all that, and I want to make sure everyone knows that this isn't for everyone. It's for my Topaz and anyone else who enjoys it. That is all. Thank you to @pars-ley for the GORGEOUS banner and partial beta read, I'm sorry I always cut it off on you!

As always @cafekitsune for the dividers!!!

When you had a last minute emergency at your apartment, Wooyoung had allowed you to come stay over at him and San’s place.

It was always an unspoken courtesy that you could stay in one of their rooms if ever needed when one of them was away for an evening, allowing you privacy and comfort.

So when you settled in for the night in San’s room, Wooyoung had assured you that San was away for the next week and you didn’t think twice about stripping down to your panties and a tank top to sleep due to the heat.

What you didn’t expect was that San’s work trip had been cut short.

It’s after 2am when the door to the apartment is unlocked and San makes his way inside, not bothering to turn on the lights.

He kicks off his shoes and yawns as he plods over to his room.

He hesitates a moment at the closed door, remembering that he’d left it open.

Figuring Wooyoung must have closed it for some reason, he merely shrugs and pushes it open, dumping his bag to the side before tugging his shirt over his head and tossing it into the hamper, his pants joining shortly after.  

The moonlight illuminates the room as he rubs his eyes and walks to the bed, hoisting the covers up before he freezes in shock.

The very last thing he’s expecting in his bed is you; half naked, your back to him, your cute little ass cheeks peeking out at him.

“What the-” He mutters before he can stop himself and you let out a little noise as you adjust in your sleep.  

He bites his lip as his gaze rakes over your unconscious form, how your thigh moves up and gives him a peek of your clothed crotch, your bare arm clinging to his pillow, your face calm and serene in your slumber.

He groans as his cock stirs, chastising himself for getting aroused at your sleeping form.  

“Fuck…” He mumbles, contemplating what to do.

Your friendship is close enough that he is fully aware that you wouldn’t be upset if he slept next to you; no, that’s not the issue at all.

San is fully aware that slipping in next to you isn’t the only thing he wants to do right now.

He momentarily thinks about grabbing a pillow and camping out on the couch for the night, but as he reaches to do so, you murmur something unintelligible in your sleep and turn slightly towards him.

A hiss leaves his lips as he notices the outline of your nipple through the thin fabric of your tank top and he can’t stop himself from changing course and slipping under the covers next to you.

Internally cursing at himself, he ignores the protests he’s making against what he’s about to do.

As he scoots closer to you, he inhales and groans at the unique scent of shampoo and vanilla that is you.

He tugs the covers down gently, his breath hitching as he takes in the curve of your spine and the way your tank top clings to your tits, making his hands itch to touch you.

Choi San, don’t you do this…he thinks yet his hand betrays him, reaching out to brush your hair back from your neck as he slips closer to you.

He’s always been attracted to you, and this is the best and worst temptation of his life, laid out before him.

His fingers trace the line of your neck down to your shoulder, concentrating on your face as he tests if it’s going to wake you.

When you don’t even stir from the simple touch, he slowly places his hand on your waist, pausing and waiting.

The heat from your body beckons him, and his dick tents his boxers, a wet stain already forming from his leaking tip.

“Fuck.” He whispers, sliding his hand down the curve of your waist up your hip, savoring every inch of skin before he rests his palm on your ass cheek.  

“Mmm..” You murmur in your sleep, causing him to freeze as you adjust, scooting back a few inches towards him.  

He lets out a choked moan as your ass pushes firmly into his hand, his rigid length bumping into your tailbone.

It takes everything in him to not rut against you, aware that any sudden jostling might wake you and he can’t have that right now.  

Right now, he needs to explore you, touch your bare skin, inhale your fragrance.

He knows the chances of you waking and freaking out are high, yet he can’t seem to stop himself from pushing the boundaries of what is right and wrong.

Finally, you stop stirring and his hand slips down the back of your thigh, gently pushing your top leg forward and exposing your clothed cunt.

He pushes the blankets down further and leans up, his eyes locking onto the thin fabric keeping him from your naked pussy. 

Pulling his lower lip in and chewing it, he slips his fingers against your panties, holding back a whine as he feels your damp folds through the material.  

His gaze flicks up to your face, checking to make sure you’re still unconscious before he slips his finger along the seam of your panties, trying to control his breathing as he pulls the crotch aside to expose your lower lips.  

His breath hitches as the movement causes you to shift, having to pause yet again before you settle.

He keeps checking your face as he tugs your panties aside far enough to allow him to skim his fingers along your folds, parting them so he can stare at your tight little hole as he uses his fingertips to search for your clit.

The pads of his fingers graze your hidden bundle of nerves and your sleepy little breathy moan lets him know he’s found it.  

He swallows heavily as he keeps his gaze on your face, watching for any sign of consciousness as he slowly starts rubbing in circles, the heat and moisture from your cunt urging him to scoot close enough to rub his erection against your lower back.

Your lips part as he presses against your bud more firmly, encouraging him on as he grinds against you.  

He struggles to keep his moans quiet as his fingers slip down to tease at your tight little entrance, the soft noises coming from you making him start to lose what little control he has.  

He moves his hand to push his boxers down, freeing his rigid length and positioning it between your thighs, pushing forward to rub the head of his cock through your folds.

“Shhh...” He whispers as you stir, his hand sliding up to cup your breast through the thin fabric of your tank top, teasing at your nipple as it tightens in his fingertips.

The room is quiet outside of his ragged breathing and the rhythmic damp noises as he rubs himself against your pussy.  

He palms your tit, then squeezes it, moving from one to the other before finally pushing your top up to expose your naked breasts.  

“Fuck…ah fuck…” He whispers, watching your face as he closes the distance between you, his bare chest pressing against your back even as his mind protests that what he’s doing is so wrong.

You let out a soft moan when he cups your naked breast, using his thumb and forefinger to tug your tightened nipple as he watches your face for any sign of rousing.  

He presses his lips to your shoulder as he rolls his hips, each agonizing pass of his cock through your folds encouraging his depraved motions as you soak his length with your arousal.

Even as you shift and let out soft noises every time he rubs himself against your clit, he chastises himself for what he’s doing. Yet he’s so far gone with lust that even as he pauses to check your state, he knows he’s fucked.

You shift against him and the head of his cock catches on your entrance, causing him to hiss out a curse, his hand leaving your nipple to grab your hip and look down between you.

The sight of your glistening cunt is far too much for him to handle and he briefly looks at the outline of your face in the dim light before he bites his lip, grabbing his cock to guide himself into you.

His eyes close in pure bliss as he slowly pushes forward, your quiet sleepy moan mixing with his groans as he grabs your ass and bottoms out inside of you.

His hand flexes on your ass, then slides up the back of your thigh, lifting it so he can watch as he draws back, then plunges back into you. 

He grunts with each thrust, not concerning himself anymore with whether he’s waking you, too lost in chasing his own pleasure at this point to stop.

It’s only when your soft voice breaks his concentration that he looks up and notices your lashes fluttering, your hands grabbing at the pillow and sheets as your face subconsciously registers what he’s doing to you.

Guilt momentarily wars with lust as he leans forward to press his face into your neck, his arm slipping around your waist to hold you as he begins propelling his hips faster and harder.

“Sorry…shhh…it’s okay…shhh…fuck, baby…” He whispers against your skin between soft whimpers and grunts.

“...San?” Your confused whisper melded with your gasps as he fucks you only makes him more frantic and he drops his hand between your legs to find your clit, pinching and circling.

He draws back to look at your face, your half lidded eyes on him as he nods, his cheeks heating as you silently question what he’s doing.  

“I’m sorry…I know…I shouldn’t…I-fuck! You…you looked too sexy…” He bites out, his hips starting to snap forward harder, your body shaking with each thrust.

“San-!” You cry out, finally fully aware of what’s happening and his fingers leave your clit to grab your thigh and pull it back over his, slipping his other arm under you to grab your breast and hold you in place.

He starts leaving open mouthed kisses along your neck and shoulder as his hand returns to your clit, feeling your pussy start to clench as he moans out your name.

“Baby…fuck I’m close-” He growls out, nipping at your neck as you start pushing back against him.  

“Nngnngg….San…don’t cum-in me-!” You manage before your mouth opens in an ‘o’ and you clench tightly around him, your climax causing him to buck wildly and grit his teeth, barely holding back as he helps you ride out your orgasm.

“Ah-ah fuck-I’m gonna cum! I’m gonna-!” He cries out, grabbing your ass and pulling out, pushing his cock between your ass cheeks as he erupts all over your lower back as he continues to rut against you.

Thick ropes of cum spurt all over your back, the sticky mess soaking your back and ass cheeks as his hips jerk erratically, his eyes locked onto the lewd sight before he finally looks up and meets your gaze.

You look over your shoulder up at him and he swallows heavily, his cheeks darkening with a blush.

“Um…” He mutters sheepishly, giving you a weak smile before reaching up to rub the back of his neck in shame, his muscles flexing as he does so.

“Choi San…” You can’t help but eye his arm, then his naked chest appreciatively.  

He winces, waiting to be yelled at but you only sigh, reaching back to touch the mess on your lower back.  

“I’m…I’m sorry-” He starts, but his words turn into a strangled squeak as you bring your fingers to your lips to taste his cum.

“You could have at least woken me up, San. Jesus-what a mess-” 

Before you can finish, his mouth is on yours, not caring about the mess as he rolls you onto your back and pinning you down.

“You’re awake now-” He whispers against your lips.

Well, you can’t argue with that.

[countbarov]

medieval times were silly times

As I am equal parts stalker and writer, I have observed the KCD fandom for some time, and I've again found something that raised some questions for me. And this time it's not about homosexuality (alone), but the perception of medieval times in media today, in contrast with what we know about medieval times

A common name given to this period is "the dark ages" (and, as an ESL speaker, it's a phenomenon unique to English as far as I'm aware; feel free to correct me). But with a name as dramatic as that comes the connotation that "the dark ages" were rife with conflict, famine, death, disease, and violence of all kinds. But that's not what "the dark ages" means, and this evocative language is very misleading

They were called "the dark ages" because we didn't have enough information on them. Thus "dark", as in, lacking clarity

And importantly, they WERE called the dark ages. They are NOT called the dark ages anymore. Because we have more information on them

One of the things that gets brought a lot in relation to all characters, really, is religion. And since KCD2 is still very new, I won't make any specific reference to events in the game, but I will use KCD1 examples to illustrate my point

Religion in the Czech Republic has always been an interesting subject. They're nominally Catholic, but their history as a conquered nation and vassal state to bigger empires has marred the subject. It's considered today to be a very atheist nation, but this is a slight misunderstanding. Many Czechs are believers, but won't follow institutional Catholicism

Due to being ordered to die in battle for the Catholic church repeatedly (and causing a revolt about it, which was violently squandered by Catholic forces), it's easy to understand why the Czech public would be less than enthusiastic about Catholicism. But there was, in the 15th century, an interesting man by the name of Jan Hus. A priest who sought to reform the church to more accurately represent the Czech approach to religion; a priest who was executed by the Catholic church

A priest we meet in KCD1, interestingly enough, whom Henry accompanies on a debauched weekend of revelry, culminating in a drunken speech performed by Henry as he pretends to be a priest

Not very puritan and devout of him, alongside Hans' constant visits to the brothel

Another sore topic in the common understanding of medieval times is homosexuality, and how it's thought of by contemporaries

Modern conceptions of homosexuality will have us identify as "gay/lesbian"; as people who ARE homosexual and feel homosexual attraction. But back then, homosexuality wasn't understood as something you were: it was something you did

As such, "BEING" a sinful little gay wasn't a thing. You were performing a sinful act, but you were not sinful by nature, because it wasn't understood as an intrinsic part of your identity

This doesn't change the fact that it wasn't a good or happy time to be gay. For Hans and Henry it would've been a scary, uncertain, extremely secretive part of their lives. Their love could not be freely expressed and had to remain hidden from the public eye. But that doesn't mean they were ashamed of it

I think it's more beautiful to see their relationship as something they're proud of and happy to fight for rather than a sore topic of discussion. They would've been excited to share each other's company, share with their closest allies, and share in private without fear

It needs to be said, also, that I am not trying to police how people enjoy media. I'm simply expressing that Hans and Henry don't necessarily fit the mould of a tragic gay relationship as we know them today, and it's more interesting for me to engage with media where it's at. Part of the reason KCD's gay romance is so important to me as a gay man is that, instead of shameful and painful, it's euphoric, and gay media NEEDS more gay euphoria

We deserve to be happy, and I'm delighted that media starts to represent us not as doomed, but blooming. We deserve better than that

[artbyblastweave]

Did you ever read WW historia?

I have now!

In terms of pure visuals, easily the prettiest thing I've read this year (in the February-to-February sense of the term, I'm not pulling a 30-rock cutesy non-statement here.) It definitely feels constructed as a negotiation with some of the tensions I've been waving at, but it's a deft one- handily resolving the overarching "what's the exact nature of the project here" energy through its aggressive commitment to a specific direction- an epic in the idiom of the Illiad or the Oddessy- it's status as the narrative of the founding of a nation, with enumerated mythological lineages for the Amazons, godly politics-of-personality jerking around the protagonists even at their best-intentioned, slaughters predicated on myopic cries for "justice" that are couched in a fundamentally misogynistic moral ordering of the universe (Getting Oresteia flashbacks with Apollo.) Zeus is a particularly compelling villain in the piece, with that cheerful, condescending, paternalistic adherence to a bronze age morality that's not nearly as alien to the present day as one might like it to be. From within his own moral system, he does nothing wrong, which is as good a condemnation of that system as any.

What I really like about it is how it in particular addresses the longstanding tension- not unique to Wonder Woman as a franchise, but always present to some extent- of an impossibly-advanced sequestered utopia trying to provide guidance to a population under so many more material constraints than them that they might as well be space aliens. The book expresses that there's a level on which the initial group of 30 goddess-crafted Amazons- the divine, born-as-adult utopian agents- can look like women, intervene on the behalf of, fundamentally align with women, but, before they meet Hippolyta, there are important ways in which they only fleetingly interact with women as a human social category. They strike from the shadows, kill some oppressors, and fuck right back off- which is cathartic, but none of the mortal women they "rescue" are left in a significantly better position by this alone. That's not an arbitrary strategy; In suitable Greek tragedy fashion, everyone in this narrative is beholden to something, and the original Amazons are beholden to the system in the sense that they have to hide what they're doing so they don't get turbofucked by Zeus and company. But they are very pointedly not beholden in the sense of having to make soul-destroying choices as a result of the gendered boot that they're under. They don't have to, say, live with the guilt of being made to leave an extraneous newborn girl to die of exposure.

Moreover, even in isolation, even with a headcount of 30, the book gestures at the idea that the first wave of Amazons are developing their own systems of norms, orderings of power and hierarchy, valorization of specific traits and rigid systems of categorization based on aligning with different goddesses:

Hippolyta bounces off these requests for categorization hard even as she petitions to join- she sees value in the category, but not the expectations. What DeConnick has done here is engineer a situation where the Amazonian founding narrative is a story about how the identity category of "Amazon" was forcibly expanded until it could accommodate everyone to whom it would be useful- do the work it was intended to do as a positive force in the world. Strict ontology subordinated to questions of practical harm. I think the intended applicability to other issues is obvious.

This brings me to the tail end of the narrative, another of many things I like- As I mentioned before, this whole thing is constructed as a national founding myth, right? The Aeneid, but for Themyscira. But it's not a triumphant story. It's not a tale of glorious conquest, it's not a narrative about how the Amazons turned their backs on a fallen world and carved out their utopian little enclave. They don't live on Themyscira because they're nationalists, or female separatists, or whatever other dunk Azzarello wants to advance. They live on Themyscira because they aren't allowed to leave. Themyscira is an act of suppression. Partly a "cruel mercy" punishment from Zeus and company, loss of freedom constructed as worse than death for the Amazons; implicitly, also a containment tactic, to keep their ideas from spreading.

Much of this was engineered through the machinations of Hera, who presents this National-founding-as-tragedy as the best that could be done under the existing constraints; a setback, a compromise, a launch pad for future endeavors, but still a meaningful defeat, something that Diana, the first and only child actually born on the island, is going to have to work to rectify.

[gallifreyan85]

highkey im LOVING all ur agathaxreader fics im literally in a pool of tears when i read each one and I LOVE IT SO MUCHHHHHH ILOVEIT AND ILOVEUFORMAKINGIT,,, so pls dont explode anytime in the near future i need more fics, i literally need one everyday its now a drug ts insane i have a fic req, if u could make a 'tell ur baby that im ur baby' - i bet on losing dogs, where someone gets jealous that someone else is getting more attention that them, ex agatha losing her self bc she saw u hugging ur old teacher or reader crying themself to sleep because they think agatha likes billy more than them :) PLSPSLSPLSLPSLPSLPSLP I BEG OF U MAKE ONE IM GONNA DIE ILYSM IF U DO

Hii, I'm sorry if this took too long, I was traveling and then had college stuff, so I was in a bit of a hustle. I had started writing this and then kind of got off track a little (hence the title being different), but I tried to keep it around the whole reader thinking agatha prefers billy now, and all that jazz. I hope you like it, if you're not happy tell me, it has a bit more dialogue than my usual fics, but hopefully it'll be okay. Thanks for the request!!

<3

Hurt Me and Tell Me You're Mine

summary: Summary: after Wanda closed the hex, things got complicated. Now you’re on the witches road with your mentor after not seeing her for three years, and she brought someone who you think might be your replacement (Billy.) With everyone reeling after what happened during the third trial, you try to talk to her and sort things out.

pairing: mentor!Agatha x reader

A/n: as always, more stuff at the end, this was originally supposed to be part 5 of (𝐼 𝒲𝒶𝓃𝓉) 𝒩𝑜 𝑀𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝒯𝒽𝒶𝓃 𝒯𝒽𝒾𝓈 but I have something else planned for that sooo. idk. it's my bday tomorrow i'm a bit chaotic. enjoy!!

The Witches Road was no place for the faint of heart. You’d learned that the hard way, first getting drenched during Jen’s trial, then almost burning to death because of a curse during Alice’s. When Teen had gotten hurt you caught a glimpse of something in Agatha’s eyes, the way she lingered for just a moment too long after everyone had already made sure he was okay. It had been three years since you’d last seen her and you wanted to sit down and talk, catch up for lack of a better, less normal word, but time didn’t seem to be on your side. And it seemed Agatha wasn’t either. You’d been her student, if that was what you could call it, and she was relentless and strict and sarcastic, but she’d taught you things about magic no other witch ever would. You were sure of it. Her view on magic was all control and precision, yet chaos and power at the same time.

It was a lot.

It was unique.

But you didn’t regret it.

You still wondered if maybe she did. She never told you. In fact, ever since you barged in to find her and this other boy around your age in her house, along with a bunch of witches you didn’t know, she kept quiet around you. So you came along. Of course it would be dangerous, like everything else she ever did, but you could handle it. You didn’t spend three years perfecting your magic best as you could to flake out at the slightest opportunity of chaos. Maybe you were like her after all. And then her trial came along. You were there with the rest of them, on Teen’s side when the others tried to turn on her, and then her mother’s ghost was there, and Agatha was pleading with them, pleading, not to leave her behind, and Alice stepped in, and--

You shook the memory out of your head. Tried to clear your thoughts. It didn’t really work, apart from giving your already minor headache a boost, but you sighed and tried to relax anyway. Being tense would get you nowhere.

It was then that you realized the rest of the coven, whoever was left-- had finally stopped arguing. You turned to see Jen and Lilia talking to Teen, all three of them sitting down, not sparing you a glance. Neither Agatha or Rio were in sight. You sighed. While you did wonder about Rio, who she was and why Agatha seemed to hate her so much, you didn’t feel up to going to look for her. You wanted to find Agatha. And with the others preoccupied, this was your chance.

So, quietly, unnoticed by anyone, you slipped away from the path and onto a little clearing, hoping that Agatha didn’t go far. You’d learned that the trial would be ahead of you whichever way you went, but that didn’t mean you were eager to wonder around such a place alone. You had just spotted something resembling a small pond, or maybe more of a swamp-- it was covered with weeds and tall, wet grass hanging from overhead branches from the trees-- when a voice made you jump.

“You never were very good at following the rules.” Agatha stepped out from a dark nook you hadn’t even noticed, a distant smirk on her face, not quite reaching her eyes, “But then again, that was part of why I liked you.”

You turned around to see her striding towards you in a slow, seemingly composed way, hands shoved in her coat pockets.

“Liked?” you murmured quietly.

She chuckled.

“I did share my very vast magical knowledge with you. Be a little grateful.”

You stayed quiet. Her smirk, which you suspected was fake, fell into something of a contemplative expression. She seemed… less sure of herself.

It unnerved you a little.

“Stray not from the path,” she went on, her voice a teasing lilt. “And yet…”

“I was looking for you.” you murmured.

“Still, it’s no excuse.” she huffed faintly, coming to a stop next to you, blue eyes fixed on the muddy pond. “We’re already down one person. You shouldn’t wander off unless you wanna be number two.”

“Three.” you said faintly.

She gave you a confused look.

“Sharon Davis?” you gestured around the air to no avail. Agatha frowned.

“Who?”

You sighed. “The gardening lady.”

Her nose scrunched, a vague scoff escaping her. “Oh. Right. Two people then. But the point still stands.”

And then--

“Why are you here?”

You stayed quiet. She frowned.

“Pet—”

“You used to call me that all the time.” you said softly. She didn’t look at you.

“Did I?”

“Yes. Now you just use my name. It’s…” What was it? Odd, unnatural, distant-- too distant.

You knew she didn’t care for you in any soft, affectionate way, of course she didn’t, but you felt like she was purposefully being vague and quiet towards you. Maybe it was the three years of not talking. Maybe she already forgot about you. What were you really? A student? How many of those she must’ve had over the years, dozens, maybe hundreds, and you were just one in the long line of Agatha Harkness wannabes, making yourself think she had it in her to become fond of you.

Maybe she did. Or so you thought. The hope you held had slowly started to die out from the moment you stepped into her basement. When you turned to look at her her head was held high, one hand running through her hair, the other somewhere along her side, half hidden by that blue coat, fingers grasping around nothing as if she was perfecting an invisible spell.

“Did you get it back?” you asked quietly blurting out your thoughts.

She paused.

You weren’t sure if she was expecting you to ask about Alice, or what happened, why it happened, but you didn’t. Selfishly enough, you were meaning to keep on track for trying to get her to talk to you. To bridge that gap that was somehow there no matter how hard you tried to follow her, agree to her ideas, watch her when she was watching someone else.

“No.” she said flatly. “Not all the way, at least.” she raised a hand, twisted her fingers, and you watched as a small cloud of warm orange light slipped around her empty palm, swirled for a moment, and then vanished into a puff of smoke.

She wasn’t looking at it. Her eyes were fixed on some distant spot, far beyond the forest.

“That’s still something.” you tried to sound optimistic. “Something’s better than nothing.”

She scoffed, shoving her hands back into her pockets.

“You always were so cheerful. I suppose you’re right, sure. But this is nothing compared to—” she paused. You could see the inner turmoil in her eyes, that quiet fury mixed with longing.

“It’s different.” she said, turning away. “If it had been someone like Wanda—”

“I tried to find her, you know.” you said quietly.

You thought she’d at least turn to look at you. She didn’t.

“And?”

“People say she’s dead. I’m...not too sure. They didn’t even find her body, but…”

Agatha huffed. “You could’ve done something useful.”

You frowned.

What? Was she serious?

“I did it for you.” you said, firmly, a little surprised, almost desperate, “I was doing it to help you—”

“Well a lot of good that did.” she sighed.

You fell silent. Hurt. You saw her gaze flick over your face, and something sharp softened in her blue eyes.

“What did you think you’d do? If you...found her.”

“I would’ve asked her to lift that- that spell. Whatever it was.”

She tilted her head.

“Why?”

Because I wanted to help. Because you’re the only person I can call family, the only one who-

You decided to be honest.

“Because I-- missed you.”

She didn’t say anything. You thought you saw her huff, lightly, glance away-- but maybe it was all in your head.

She was turned away from you, her head towards the faint chatter of the others, Teen talking to Lilia, their voices carrying through the thicket of the underbrush. You felt a wave of frustration course through you.

“Agatha.” you said.

She turned. Perfect posture, perfect teeth, sharp smile in place.

“Yes?”

And no words left you. A part of you maybe wanted to scream. To ask her why she was acting like this, so distant, so unlike her to be gloating so much, the lack of teasing little taunts murmured to you in passing. Instead she was just… quiet. Yes, she teased the others, but you? It was almost as if she was ignoring you.

“Are you going to stand there and gawk at me or are you going to speak?” she asked, enunciating every word with clear precision.

That felt more like her. Something eased inside of you, a familiarity, a warmth, at her voice saying things you were used to. Things you wouldn’t admit you so dearly missed in your time apart.

You took a breath. “Why are you so curious about him?” you blurted.

It wasn’t what you were meaning to ask, your preferred response would’ve been something like ‘can you let me in on what’s going on’ or ‘are you mad at me’ and now she was looking at you like that, like you just asked her something very funny and amusing and she looked smug. More like the Agatha you knew. It hurt a little as much as it soothed. You wondered briefly if you would die with her one day, just like this, meet your end stuck in some nevereding loop of running after the affection of someone who might not even want you anymore, not in her coven, not as her student, definitely not as a daughte--

“Oooh.” she smirked, tilting her head, “is someone feeling left out?”

You crossed your arms. Your insides were screaming yes, yes I am, why are you so interested in him, why won’t you talk to me, I was there first-

Instead you just said, “No.”

She smiled. “No? Are you sure, dear? I do know you very well, and-”

“All this time you’ve been watching him.” you said, looking down at the murky water below, “I want to know why. And it’s not just boredom, you don’t look like that at the people you’re not trying to figure out. So why him? Is it the sigil? Or what?”

Agatha sighed. “And you’ve been watching me, have you?”

You were. You were always watching her, even before, when she was your mentor officially, watching the hand movements, the way she countered spells, cast shields and blasted hexes and walked around with that impeccable, unflinching flair.

“I just wanna know why you’re so interested in him.” you murmured. “He’s just some kid, same as me, and I was here first.”

She paused, lips curving just a little bit upwards.

But she didn’t answer.

You sighed.

Looked down.

Took another breath.

“Okay, fine. Don’t tell me. Just-- why-- at least tell me why you’re acting like this? What id it, what did I do? Did I do something wrong, are you- are you mad at me?”

At that, her expression changed. It was almost imperceptible, but you caught it easily, a softer shift in her stoic exterior.

“No.” she said after a moment. Her voice was quiet. “I’m not mad at you. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

You felt something deep inside your heart unwind, relief flowing through your veins, a hope growing brighter-- “Then why?” you uttered, your own voice quieter too, slightly uneven despite your attempts at keeping your composure.

“Because,” she sighed finally, turning back to look at you, “you weren’t supposed to be here. You weren’t supposed to come with us.”

You frowned.

“What?”

She pressed her lips together, frustrated.

“None of this was supposed to happen, toots. No trials, no—” she gestured blindly around, annoyed, “middle-of-the-woods cabins and ghosts and—” she met your eyes, “no Road.”

You paused, not following.

“What do you mean no Road?”

“The Witches Road, it doesn’t exist.” she said.

You stared at her. Blinked. Still didn’t understand.

“But-- it does. It does exist- we’re on it, right now. We’re here-- this is real.”

“Yes.” she nodded, something darker in her eyes. “It’s real. And the question is, who made it real?”

You followed her gaze over to the others. Stopped. Finally understood.

“You think he made the road?”

She waited. “I had my suspicions from the start, but now I’m sure.”

“You’re sure.” you tried to read her thoughts and came up blank. “So he’s a powerful witch, you mean. Powerful enough to make all of this? You think he made-- everything around us, right now?”

She nodded, quiet, and turned to meet your eye, voice low.

“Yes. That much power in someone so young,” you swallowed down a sting of something unfair, “it’s a precious thing. Needs to be handled carefully, or else…”

“Now you’re saying he’s precious?”

“I’m saying his power is precious, and that’s really sweet actually.”

You frowned.

“How much you seem to care what I think about him. I never took you for the jealous type, pet, but here we are.”

“I’m not—” you swallowed. “jealous.”

She chuckled. “No. Of course not. You’re just worried your dear old mentor might’ve found a new favourite student.”

“I’m your only student. And he’s not-- Agatha—”

“It’s alright, pet.” she murmured. “You know you’ll always be my favourite.”

You died there, maybe. Those were the words you needed to hear, however pathetic, however needy, they made something settle inside of you, the frustration-turned-desperation melting to relief, to ease, and more hope.

You hugged her.

She wasn’t expecting it, not at all, and made out a slightly startled oof- as you wrapped your arms around her so tight, holding on for dear life, face tucked into her coat.

“Why does everything have to be filled with sentimental nonsense when it comes to you, hm?” she asked, but you already felt her arms coming up around you, hands that pulled so much life out of others smoothing over your back in a comforting gesture. You didn’t know for sure when the tears gathered in your eyes, but before you had a chance to stop them they were falling down your cheeks, and into the mess of her curled, dark hair. You sniffled.

She let out a sigh, as if this exhausted her to the utmost level, and ran her fingers through your tangled hair.

“There, there.” she said, a little awkwardly, voice laced with exasperation. “You’re okay.”

And you nodded, because she was right, you were okay, and you were fine--

“I thought you-” your breath hitched, “you might be mad at me for- for not coming back so soon- I was trying- I t-tried—”

She exhaled softly, a thousand heavy regrets in her heart, and shook her head.

“It doesn’t matter, darling.”

“But it does,” you insisted, “it does matter, I should’ve found a way-- and instead he—”

“He isn’t my favourite, only student, and he’s not my-”

“Your what?” you made out quietly.

“He’s not my anything.” she said. “You are.”

That was enough. Enough to ease your worries once and for all, all the untrue thoughts your mind had conjured up about you in the dead of night, that she might hate you, might not want you around anymore, that she found someone better- easier to teach, better at learning-

She pulled away from you with a quiet look, her eyes on you, studying your tearful face.

“What?” you murmured shakily.

“You really care, don’t you.”

“Of course I do-”

She turned away a little, only slightly, like she was maybe unsure if you should see. Her eyes were pale as always, blue and set like cloudy weather, and she had the look of someone so composed on the outside yet hiding a storm on the inside. That was most of her life, you realized at some point while staying with her before. Always so distant, yet so much emotion raging inside. You looked into her eyes and wondered if you were seeing a glimmer of regret. What she did to Alice was a reminder of who you were dealing with, that she wasn’t some friendly, smiling witch or sleepover buddy, but you weren’t about to turn your back on her like the rest of them. Not now. Not here. You might not agree with her morals, but this was something you knew when you begged her to let you join her. You knew what you were signing up for. Witchcraft wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows and Agatha Harkness wasn’t a cold-blooded psycho, not like everyone said or thought. You knew her. Deep down, quietly and from the sidelines, but you did. You believed that and you hoped she knew that too.

You wiped your eyes, quiet and careful, and stilled when she rose one hand and swiped off the liquid on your cheek with her thumb.

And you asked what kept lingering in the back of your mind since you all left the last trial.

“Agatha?”

“Hm?”

“Why didn’t you ask me?”

She tilted her head. “Asked you what?”

“To give you my magic. Juice you up, whatever you call it. I could’ve blasted you with it.”

She stilled just slightly, an almost-smile on her lips. “And you would’ve let me?”

“If you asked me, yes.”

“How do you know I just wouldn’t kill you?” she asked.

The truth was, you didn’t. You hoped she wouldn’t, but it was all a slippery slope. You did trust her. Not just a little. Maybe too much. You definitely believed her when she spoke about being on the Witches Road before. And you would’ve let her take some of your magic too. Naively, maybe, you also believed she wouldn’t have killed you. That maybe, somehow, she would’ve stopped just on the brink, and it would leave you slumped over and heaving and panting but alive. You were so close to stepping in when Alice did it first. Would it have been different if it had been you? Would you have saved a life, or exchanged it for your own?

Beside, quietly, Agatha said, “You don’t know what it’s like, dear. All that power, surging into you, it’s like breathing air after being underwater for too long. It’s all you need to do until you feel better. Until you catch your breath. Some could survive that. Some couldn’t. But Alice never stood a chance. And neither would you.”

That stung.

“You think we’re too weak?”

But Agatha shook her head, the look in her eyes almost remorseful. “No. Not that. But it was three long years. Anyone to blast me with even a spark of it was guaranteed to…” she stopped. “It’s not an easy thing, this.” she said, quietly. “Most days I love it. It’s saved me more times than I can count. But it’s not always the easiest to control. Do you think you could make yourself stop breathing the second you took that first breath of air after being down for so long? For three years?I’m glad it wasn’t you.” she said, and you were surprised to her the firm conviction of her tone, “I’m not glad it was her, but I’m glad it wasn’t you. I don’t know what I would’ve done if—”

She didn’t finish her sentence. There was a gentleness in her gaze you oh so missed, that soft look she gave you after saying something far too soft and indulging you in it. Her hand gently fixed your hair, tucking away a strand gently behind your ear.

And you didn’t know what to say so you just stood there, looking at her, feeling like you might cry all over again.

“So we’re on the same team?” you murmured. “Not like, the coven, them, and you and me. I just mean, us.”

She smiled. A fragile, uncertain smile, but it was there. Guarded. Healing. Safe.

“You and me.” she said back, “I promise, kid.”

For a brief moment, neither of you said anything. You felt the moment settle. Dissolve.

“We should probably get back to the others.” she said. “The sooner we finish this thing the sooner we can get home.”

Home? You turned to look at her, but she was already strolling away, posture poised, head up, back straight, that blue coat flapping behind her like a loyal apprentice, instead of you. You watched her for a moment, walking with her back to you, no doubt rather unwelcome now with the rest of the group.

You couldn’t blame them.

But you shoved your own guilt over it down. Perhaps they’d hate you for it, but you’d stay on her side. Just like before, just like always. There were times when even people like Agatha needed someone in their corner, and you swore to yourself you’d stay though the worst of it, where so many others turned their backs on her and left.

And so, with a purposeful stride in your step, you turned away from the lake and followed her back to the others. There was another adventure to come.

A/n: this wasn't proofread, i'm sorry. title is from Diet Mountain Dew (The Flight Demo) by Lana Del Ray. send me your thoughts on agatha or anything else, I love to talk with yall!!! I had a lot of college exams these last few days and tomorrow I'll be 21 (I literally do not feel old enough) but life goes on and what can you do. Thank you for reading and I hope you're all good and have a wonderful day!

Taglist 💜 @milflovers4 @senhorita-girassol @dandelions4us @kaymariesworld @ahintofchaos @atlasimagines

[forpsheturnpesbian]

Can you do somethin where Paige is having a hard time adjusting to Dallas and mentally just isn’t doing great so azzi comes and surprises her and they work through her thoughts and headspace and just some fluff

Home is you

Word count: 667

Paige Bueckers x Azzi Fudd

a/n: hope this is to ur liking, tried to do this ask justice. One of my first times writing please point out any errors and i’ll try my best to correct them eng isnt my first language. (Didn’t proofread it bare with me guys)

Dallas was..great

Nothing was wrong. She had chosen to be there. She had sworn to give this franchise the best player they could’ve ever hope for, because they had chosen her

Out of all the players invited with the intent of contributing to greatness, she was their pick, their prospect, their player.

Paige was a franchise player and she was chosen to be exactly that

And as much as that is rewarding it is equally terrifying in its own unique way.

Everything was brand new, a new team, new coaching staff, new place, hell a whole new goddamn city. And P took it like a champ—Cheering on teammates, semi-unpacking, establishing her goals for the season, getting used to what Dallas has to offer, and training to get better everyday like she says everyday.

But the rook can only take so much. Till the tension has sinked completely into her bones, till she can barely breathe. Finally a breath of fresh air

Incoming call: Az💗

“Baby?” Paige asked her, breathing for the first time all day sinking into her overly expensive couch still in her sweaty gym clothes.

“Yeah im here” voice soft and tinged with concern

“This might be the wildest thing i'mma ever say” with a huff

“Uh..huh” Azzi raises a brow but follows anyways

“I think I- miss storrs?” She said rubbing her forehead

“Really? That's what you built up to?” She says trying to conceal her amusement but her tone was not convincing anyone.

“But seriously what makes you say that?” She asks in a tone so sweet and warming it puts honey to shame

“I just- I don’t belong here” voice cracking for just a second, barely noticeable over the line

“Paige” her voice softening even further

“Azzi” she says teasingly trying to ease away whatever worry she knows azzi’s feeling

“You fit anywhere and everywhere you go, and you know that”

“Do I? This is news to me tell me more” she snorts but she knows what azzi’s saying is real “yeah I know”

They talk about nothing in particular for god knows how long, during god knows when.

How they even find the time for it is truly a challenge itself.

But they’ll always find it, it doesn't matter if it’s 5 hours or 5 minutes.

…

A few days after that call she starts feeling all the isolation she didn’t know she felt in the first place rush back to her when she started unpacking the rest of her things.

It all hits her full force when she opens her polaroid box.

A shoe box she filled with pictures of everyone she could possibly need—her siblings, her dad, the team, coach, and the person who filled most of the box—her love

And that broke whatever show she tried so hard to put on.

That is until home finally found her, when she couldn’t find it.

When she sees the brown eyes she fell into when she was 14 and never left.

And before she knows it she latches all 6 feet of herself onto azzi with no space for air in between. She just stands there for a moment, head buried in her neck, wrapping her arms around azzi like if she held on tight enough her girl would never slip away.

“Do me a favour never leave again” Paige asks wholeheartedly, head still buried into all things azzi.

Earning a small laugh from her, and Paige thinks it’s the best thing she's heard since she’d gotten here.

“I’ll try my best for the 2 days I'm here?” She says slightly amused

“Shhh Im in denial let me have this” and it earns a real laugh from the brunette, the kind that makes you dedicate your life to hearing over and over again.

And as for Paige she’s heard 9 years worth of it and many more to come, whether it's right here or 1000 miles apart she’ll always find a way to hear it.

[rainbow-demoness]

While I acknowledge that anarchists don't have all the answers (and "how to break the kind of power imbalance like exists between the abled and the disabled" is a major question), the ADA seems to be kind of a fluke. The history I've heard sounds like several things lined up just right, and most countries don't have anything near as comprehensive. This horrifies my American friends, but the flip side of that is that we didn't start a worldwide war on drugs to suppress an unfavourable voting block.

Nationality aside, it is hard for me to cheer on the coercive power of the state (and that is what you're arguing for, that coercion is necessary because how else do we get ramps) while being trans. Both the US and Europe have a long and bloody history of suppressing trans people, to the point that there are scholars describing it as a genocide. Until recently they did the same to gay people. They're also still doing it to intersex people. Outside queerness, ethnicity is another major axis along which especially the US's coercive power is wielded less than kindly, inside, across, and outside their borders; for examples, see the respective treatments of Indigenous, Black, Mexican, and Palestinian people. (Europeans: look up the treatment of Romani people here)

I'm not going to say that disabled people have it much easier than those groups. I don't think their needs are uniquely suited to benefit from state coercion. While I love the ADA, I think they've been lucky to get it. And on that note, judging by the autism register that required major outcry to get walked back, their luck may sadly be about to run out. I know ours has.

The reason I’m not an anarchist is that in the centuries before the Americans with disabilities act people could have all installed safe wheelchair ramps in all of their buildings and they didn’t.

If you’re trying to make a system that relies on people being nice I’m not gonna go with it.

[nicotachi]

my clumsy review aka my unorganized thoughts on Hit New Yuri Game "Love Curse: Find Your Soulmate"! you can buy it on steam here

cyn and i spent the past week or so playing through all 10 endings and i just wanted a place to write down all my thoughts. i feel like i have a Lot to say and barely anyone else to tell so i'm going to attempt to rein it in

under the cut is nothing but spoilers so tread at your own risk! also: i do not hate any ship, but if you are averse to ship hate you may not want to read any of my criticisms!

PLOT SUMMARY

you play as a 20 year-old lesbian (named selene yan by default) navigating her transition from college into the workforce. however, you are suddenly informed of a curse that will kill you in one year's time—the only way to lift this curse is to find your true soulmate (yay a girl) before then.

there are currently 4 romanceable options: your cute childhood-friend-turned-girl-next-door, your classmate's mysterious twin sister, your reliable upperclassman, and your intimidating boss at your internship. who will you choose??? 😳

OVERALL

wow. what a game!!! i have limited experience with visual novels as most of them have been linear. all the otome games i've played were written for straight female audiences (with the exception of kang jaehee of mystic messenger) and designed for mobile. this was my first foray into an honest to goodness Sit In Front Of Computer And Pick Your Girlfriend game, and this time for actual lesbians! and i liked it a lot! what stuck out to me with this game—and keep in mind my limited experience here—is that ALL the endings felt like legitimate endings, even the bad ones. for some characters, the bad endings even felt preferable! this made me feel respected as a reader/player, and gave me a sense of agency in that i was able to choose whatever ending i liked without feeling like other endings were more 'correct'. and boy, did i enjoy some endings much more than others.

there are two curious things about the game.

the first one is a unique mechanic. each character has two meters: an affection meter, and a ??? meter. i thought the affection meter seemed pretty straightforward: get the affection up and get the happy ending. however, this was not so simple for 3 out of the 4 romanceable characters with the second meter in question. if the ??? value reaches a certain number, this may trigger the bad ending for that character. while the ??? value is never outright explained, it seems to represent something different for each character.

the second thing that stuck out to me was that half of the characters' routes directly relate to the lore behind the curse. honestly, it took me a while to even remember the title of the game because the 'curse' part seemed irrelevant to me with my preferred route. while two of the romanceable characters' routes explain the origins of the curse and why you have it, the other two are completely independent stories that could live in a vacuum.

this is likely not the first time this has happened as this was a feature in mystic messenger as well; zen/jaehee/yoosung were labeled 'casual story' while jumin and 707 were labeled 'deep story'. however, it's still an interesting choice as i believe overarching plot relevance influenced the characters which influenced how much i liked each character and/or their route.

which brings me to the main reason i even started this review: RANKINGS. yes, i wanted to rank each ending, explain why i liked them, why i disliked them, and what i think they could have done differently. this is where my opinions will become Opinions so dread carefully (not a typo).

very conveniently, i saw this post which brought me this chart, which i will use to grade each ending:

and now...the rankings!!!

first, i will start with ranking much i liked each character. this is based on writing/design/overall vibes and enjoyment:

iris (by a fuckin MILE omg)

nyx

victoria

eleanor

next, here is the order in which i played so you can have some more context with each route's review:

Iris BE

Iris HE

Victoria HE

Victoria BE

Nyx BE

Nyx HE

Eleanor BE

Eleanor HE

True End

now, here is how i rank each route. this is mainly based on writing and enjoyment:

9. Eleanor HE

Score: ⭐

i'm so sorry eleanor fans. personally i think eleanor was done dirty. tragically, her pre-awakening chemistry with selene is very cute. she's the closest to a classmate that selene has out of all of her love interests, and therefore the closest in maturity level. their banter reminds me of like idk. rory and jess from gilmore girls. basically two people who feel comfortable riffing off of the other. and this is no coincidence; they mention several times how they feel they have known each other for years.

which is a shame, because the route starts going downhill after eleanor's memories are reawakened, which is pretty early on. her personality shifts and it no longer becomes selene x eleanor, but selene x someone who thinks she's jianghe. everything we know about eleanor is thrown out the window in favor of her becoming 'jianghe', whom we barely know anything about.

and i think that's one of the major issues: we never do learn much about jianghe. not in her HE, BE, or even the true end. we don't even get a sprite! how are we supposed to care about jianghe if we barely know her relationship with fuguang? was jianghe also a confident perfectionist like eleanor? was she just as playful? why do we so easily accept that jianghe = eleanor, when in other routes we make it a point that chimei =/= nyx and fuguang =/= selene?

sure, there are hints that eleanor has been controlling since before her memories awakened, but that's still related to jianghe as it's a result of the spirits she pissed off. maybe it would have felt better if being controlling were a core part of her personality, the way iris and nyx's flaws feel more baked into their characters (which is why i thought iris' house arrest was way more interesting but anyways).

what would i do differently? i honestly would have emphasized an internal struggle in which eleanor doesn't know if she wants to continue being jianghe—someone paralyzed by paranoia, fear, and regret—and instead live as eleanor, who respects selene as a fellow intellectual. the house arrest arc dragged on for wayyyy too long. it honestly made me root for nyx to come break us free. instead, what happens is we get a rather bland fairytale ending of us overcoming nyx and living happily ever after.

also, i find it a little unsettling that we never find out eleanor has been tracking us, especially since i read someone on twitter suggest she has been tracking us THROUGH THE SMART WATCH SHE GAVE US IN THE COMMON ROUTE!!! which honestly is a crazy cool detail

8. Victoria HE

Score: ⭐

(WARNING: i do not hate this ship but i can see how you might interpret this as ship hate, so beware)

i like selene and i think i like victoria (even though i wasn't a fan of her routes), but i think selene and victoria have negative chemistry. not a single unit of rizz together. 1+1=0. watching their mutual attraction unfold felt like watching one of those slow trash compactor videos. two cars backing into each other in a parking lot. just something very unpleasant that i didn't want to keep seeing, yet kept reading in hopes of being swayed—and it never happened.

TO BE CLEAR!!! this is NOT because i hate either character and not because of their age gap or boss/employee dynamic. my number one ship rn is gan/qing for god's sake which is both of those. and i think it's BECAUSE i love gan/qing and office romance that i was so put off by their development.

victoria is presented as this cold and intimidating boss who scares selene during her internship interview. and she just...becomes very soft and caring after that? she just starts hanging out with selene like she's on her level and texting her like a friend? to me, it felt like the writers wanted to ignore their power imbalance until they couldn't ignore it anymore, which felt worse imho. what's the point in even making them boss and employee if you can't lean into the forbidden love territory!!!

not to mention, the conflict in both routes is just...i feel like it doesn't do her character justice? victoria is this cold woman who has her own young subsidiary under the qi group, treats rosalie like an annoying cousin, but is powerless to go against them at the same time?

and when she does finally go against them, it feels...idk, too easy. selene barely even does anything honestly, victoria solves it herself. and she just sells all her shares for a cute intern she just met??? even her affection for us feels too 'easy'. i wanted it to come with more strings i think...the writing and reasoning just felt way too disjointed for me.

what would i do differently? for one, i think i would lean into the 'problematic' aspect more. this is the toxic yuri game for a reason!!

i would have preferred if victoria were engaged from DAY ONE. chapter 0 baby. it would have made her 'innocent' flirting with us all the more scandalous in hindsight and made us rethink her green flag status.

i also would have amped up their boss/employee dynamic with them both knowing it's a line they shouldn't cross (and do). for example, more subtle gestures from victoria under the guise of Work. hands brushing over paperwork, a hesitant pat on the shoulder, idk ANYTHING!!! GIVE ME SOME PRIDE & PREJUDICE!!! IN FACT JUST REBRAND GAN/QING AND HAND IT TO ME ON A SILVER PLATTER. it was a mistake to have so much of their flirting over text because it feels both out of character and kinda just? ick? idek. it would have been funnier if victoria were a super dry texter but gave mixed signals in person.

7. Eleanor BE

Score: ⭐

i gave this one more points because eleanor actually dies. NOT because i hate eleanor, but because actions have consequences and her death is the consequence of her and phoenix keeping selene in the dark and not respecting her agency.

however, it still has the flaw of the incredibly long house arrest arc, as well as something that bothered me: this eleanor feels incredibly vindicated by her actions, even in death. first it was the flower pot incident, then it was tracking selene and being able to die for her in the forest.

what would i do differently? well for one, i think eleanor should have had regrets in her dying moments. it would have been better if she had that final realization that hey, maybe controlling every aspect of selene's life, memorizing her schedule, and viewing her movements 24/7 IS bad and the reason she's dead. unfortunately, she's still too stuck on fulfilling jianghe's wishes and basically dies as jianghe.

6. Victoria BE

Score: ⭐⭐

i share the same gripes with her HE. however, i rate her BE higher because the ending is actually very interesting to me. i liked the line about selene realizing victoria and rosalie are still cut from the same cloth, that at the end of the day victoria will lean on materialism and privilege to keep selene at her side. the symbolism of selene kissing the ring instead of victoria herself is RAW AF. especially when contrasted with her HE cg (kissing the ring that belongs to another woman vs holding the hand wearing selene's ring, the drawn curtains vs open window, etc). really cool of the writers and artists to do that.

what would i do differently? same as her HE criticisms, but especially the bit where i think victoria should have been cheating from the start. i don't think it's unfair as there is evidence to support eleanor has been tracking us since the common route. i do appreciate that all the characters' flaws do show up in the common route/happy endings

5. Nyx BE

Score: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

before this route: oh nyx is just that childhood friend who is a littleeee bit clingy and unsettling but i'm sure she means no harm. i saw her kissing cg in the trailer it's very romantic she's just doing her best

during this route: holy shit she's an evil demon from our past and the reason why we're even cursed to die to begin with?

no real notes. banger story that gave me my first peek into the lore, more music tracks that were great and stellar voice acting from nyx. the backstory reveal and how they met bell was sooo cute. the final scene was raw af with selene being like "no. i'm not going to die with you because i don't want to 💃💃💃" and wanting to bid her ACTUAL LOVED ONES a proper goodbye. metal affff

also, the common cg with chimei lying with fuguang is gorgeous af chimei is literally channeling hu tao there

what would i do differently? well this one's a bit shallow but.....can they redraw fuguang and chimei's sprites please. the cg is so good just make it match

4. Iris HE

Score: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

i LOVE iris but i felt like the outcome of this route felt less deserved when compared to her BE. iris is such a compelling character whose cruel breakup with us was the result of her strong feelings of resentment (and let's be real depression). i NEEDED her to GET INTO her resentment!!! but what happens is that she is literally about to tell us wtf is her problem with her family when she gets interrupted by a phone call. and disappears from work. and we don't see her until a few days later by coincidence. and she begs for us to take her back and we do.

to be honest, i had played her HE second and initially rated it way lower than it is here, but i recently replayed it after the true end and enjoyed it a lot more than i did the first time. while their reconciliation was a little ? to me (see: next entry), their redo date was super cute. i love a good breakup and grovel and reconciliation, and iris giving the date her best was really nice to watch. she had spent all that time in the common route/beginning of her route flirting with us meaninglessly, so it was nice to see her doing it with the actual intent to charm us.

while i had initially disliked the scene in which she spills her feelings and asks us to to take her back when compared with the cafe scene in the BE (peak), i do like it for what it is, and i especially like the part where she politely asks us to not reject her as she doesn't think she can take it at the moment. 😭

the final section with the business trip was kinda meh (victoria, why are you asking iris who is supposedly on a different team and also a newbie to substitute for selene's senior coworker lmao), i do love the implied sex the night before. WE LOVE YOU FADE TO BLACK WE LOVE YOU DISCRETIONARY SHOTS!!! iris said it may take her a while to become intimate with someone (maybe someone who knows chinese can tell me what exactly she meant by 'intimate') but girl it only took you several months to eat her cookie huh?

what would i do differently? see the next entry mostly. but honestly, i would have revealed more about her family and resentment and hate here rather than leaving it up to the BE.

3. Iris BE

Score: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (Spicy🌶️🌶️🌶️🥵)

if you haven't guessed by now, iris is my favorite character in the whole damn game. her bad ending was actually my first route as i totally fell into the xuejie trap and did everything i could to please her. consequently and to my surprise, i overindulged her and activated her dormant yandere state.

i had some suspicions about her as selene continued to rebuff her attempts to get back together, but i too was caught off-guard when iris decides to ROOFIE AND CHLOROFORM US. OMG. they even get into the weeds with the details of the kidnapping to show how scary the situation is e.g. iris feeding us literal crumbs and water in the dark. girl when can we pee?

but oh my god. that cg. that iconic cg that apparently made the rounds on twitter that i had thankfully avoided getting spoiled by but you know what? if i saw that cg first i'd have bought the game too. the game seems to sell at least part of itself on the idea that everyone has a dark side, but iris' ending takes it up a notch with "everyone has a dark side, and sometimes their dark sides are also sexy." because goddamn iris!!! her whole schtick is being miss perfect who is tired of being perceived as perfect and wants to bare her ugly side too, but sorry xuejie your ugly side is kind of sexy too soooo idk...

this is becoming a hornypost for iris i'm sorry. anyways um what would i do differently? my main gripe is while i commend selene for being much stronger than me, her reasons for continuing to deny iris in the BE vs her reasons for accepting iris in her HE make no sense to me.

the divergence in iris' route happens after the bathroom scene, in which you can either choose to walk in on her phone conversation/cry session (increasing her ??? meter) or try to give her some privacy (increasing her affection meter). interestingly, if you walk in, she will lie and claim she was trying to create a situation in which you two would bump into each other.

in the bad ending, you take her to the cafe where you had your first date and where she also dumped you and she pours her heart out about her family, her insecurities, why she broke up with you.

and you still decide to treat her coldly after that.

i can see how this would make sense, sure. selene is incredibly hurt. iris doesn't get to just hit the undo button because she's feeling regretful one month later. but this also doesn't make sense, because in the happy ending where you DO take her back such a conversation doesn't happen!

what happens in the HE after the divergence is: she stalks you at your social gathering (ironically she doesn't kidnap you in this one), is interrupted by a phone call before she can tell you more about her family, you find out about her family by very nicely asking victoria (simp) to disclose confidential info from iris' personal file, and you randomly bump into iris at school (iris has long since graduated), where she cries and asks you to take her back.

what??

not to mention iris' sudden slip into crazy. hotness aside, when and why does she decide to kidnap us? does she go out and buy some chloroform after eavesdropping on our resignation convo? i'm not opposed to the yandere thing at all, i just needed a little more believable buildup. she goes from completely cold and resentful of being needed to "i want to make you need only me" in the blink of an eye. maybe the writers could have connected it a bit more—maybe her doubling down into the dependable breadwinner role is her rejecting her most honest and imperfect self, realizing her true feelings were what pushed selene, her only love, away.

but anyways. still good tho.

2. Nyx HE

Score: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

being a 'deep route', nyx's route does a good job of being a satisfyingly complete story that fleshes out her character while delving into the lore. the payoff feels good, and i like that the writers don't try to downplay nyx's red flags even after they officially get together. nyx being jealous of their cat that SHE originally took in herself is just as amusing as it is a concern.

what would i do differently? well, my main thing with selene/nyx is that while i do find them cute (as well as fuguang/chimei), i sort of get the sense that selene is partly with nyx because she sees her as her responsibility, much like the way fuguang saw chimei. while i was very impressed by selene's development from being the least interested in nyx (IMHO) in the common route to seeing her as a lover, i think part of me isn't fully convinced that she fully reciprocates nyx's intense feelings. their final cg is soooo romantic though it invokes the shoujo doki doki fr

1. True End

Score: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

holy shit. no notes. the true end appropriately ties everything together. i loved the extra insight into fuguang's personality, the extent of nyx's crimes, as well as more tragic bell moments.

there is NO WAY the writers weren't teasing a lil selene selfcest, because holy shit that cg? with the cheek touch? and selene admiring fuguang's calloused hands which were so unlike her own? and becoming hyperaware of the fact that they are different people who happen to share a soul? there is nooooo fuckin way that she didn't feel a lil something for fuguang. my god.

the idea that selene travels into the past to save her own soul and ends up staying behind to save FUGUANG'S soul is heart-wrenchingly beautiful. and she becomes this wandering traveler who makes sure to protect herself/fuguang's reincarnation for eternity WHILE legitimizing every single route is just. wow!!!

if her curse weren't already broken by the paradox, it would have been broken by her true soulmate literally being the one person who shares her soul. time travel ALWAYS equals yuri. so so good. perhaps an unintentional aesop about loving yourself lmao

what would i do differently? i know the moments after fuguang passes away are supposed to blur, but some actual onscreen interaction with jianghe would have been nice. we literally know the bare minimum about her!!

ok let's wrap it up

you know what it's way past my bedtime so i should just end it here. in closing love curse was such a fun read/play and i enjoyed all the ways in which it wrinkled my brain and made me think about what i liked and what i wanted. i highly recommend you go buy it and support the devs so we can show how much the world wants yuri!!!!!

EDIT: cyn had to remind me of the actual order in which i played the routes so i edited it accordingly LOL. i think it’s actually because i disliked victoria’s happy ending so much that i started playing the bad endings first again

also, i mention 10 endings but only rank 9. this is because the 10th ending is the one in which you die due to not establishing a meaningful soulmate connection in time. currently, we’ve only read through iris and victoria’s versions of it. i do like iris’ a lot (shocker) because she sees you as a blip in her radar, something that could have been. i’m ngl i laughed out loud at victoria’s because why is my boss situationship organizing my funeral and not my own PARENTS LMAO

[angeliteeyes]

Hmm~ I'm not sure if you write fir Kokomi sangonomiya, but if you do, how about we do something platonic for her. And give her a sibling, a fraternal twin so we can have them be GN. And in typical twin fashion, they're her opposite on the energy spectrum. They're literally just as smart, but they're high energy and impulsive to balance it out(Basically think Ibuki mioda). Unfortunately, they left Inazuma years ago because they wanted to explore(cause chaos). When they return, it's actually with the Travler during the Archon quest, so yaaay siblings reunite, and Watatsumi Island gets a massive moral boost, and Kokomi gets constant energy resupplies.

Hello! I do write for Kokomi :) I've written a few things for her actually already, just never a full-length fic

I added more detail as well as to why you actually left, since there's so much potential for emotional depth with this concept. Here u go <3

Platonic Kokomi x Twin Reader - Growing Pains

♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧

If you could have taken on the responsibility of being the reincarnation of Orobaxi instead, you would have in a heartbeat. Of course you would. If it meant saving Kokomi from the burden of becoming the Divine Priestess, any sacrifice would've been worth it, no questions asked.

Yet fate had other plans, both for her future and your own. Deep down, you knew running away from the truth—from her—wasn't the right thing for you to do. But you just couldn't bring yourself to stay tied down to a land that didn't even need you, eternally the throwaway sibling that couldn't ever live up to the accomplishments their sister could. And so, you ran. You explored the countless landscapes of Teyvat, never failing to dig deep and find the best places to visit beyond the basic, well-known attractions. Free from her shadow, you finally realized just how fun life could be; where you once sunk under the weight of your invisibility, you'd now learned to glow with your own unique light.

One regret lingered, though. Despite being glued to each other's sides for so painfully long, when the time came for you to head off and say goodbye to Kokomi, well... Now that you've had time to mature, you understand how cruel it was to leave her behind without a word, especially knowing how deeply she relied on you for comfort. Sure, you were hurting, but it's not like she chose this. After all, neither of you could've possibly imagined that from the moment you two were born, you had already become destined to separate and walk different paths.

That's why, when your keen ears had caught word that a certain blond traveler was about to head off to Inazuma, you didn't even think twice about the decision you made—the one you had to make.

It was finally time to return home.

-

Your companion looked back at your still form amidst the pastel scenery of Watatsumi Island. A look of confusion, or perhaps concern, coated their face as they called out to you. Admittedly, you could be just a tiny bit of a chatterbox, so your uncharacteristic silence must have caught their attention.

"Hey, are you okay?"

With a deep inhale, you breathed in the island's air.

"This..." Your lips trembled slightly. They watched and waited in anticipation for your next words. "This is..."

"...Totally awesome!! I wasn't sure if I'd ever even end up coming back here. I can't believe I never noticed just how pretty everything is—not to insult the rest of Teyvat, of course! But seriously, wow..." As you bent down to play with one of the Sango pearls lying around and rolled it back and forth, you let out a soft sigh. "I really did miss this place."

Unfortunately, with the current state of Inazuma, you two hardly had time to spare for sightseeing. Even now, you were cutting things far too close for your liking, if the sounds of battle cries were anything to go off of. Plenty of whispers about the chaotic clashes going on within your homeland had made their way to you already, but actually being here and seeing it firsthand was a whole other kind of mental blow. You bit your lip. Could Kokomi really have become the military leader of this land? Your Kokomi? The one that used to cling onto you with trembling hands as a child, endlessly hiding behind your back? The one that stuttered out every other word the moment an adult was around and forced you to speak for her? Even thinking about it felt ridiculous.

And yet, right up ahead stood the all-too-familiar sight of light, flowy pink hair rustling in the wind.

Before you could even think to stop yourself, the battlefield was split in half by a sharp, booming scream of overwhelming excitement. Your sister froze in place. At least, she did up until your body barreled into hers and nearly knocked the two of you down to the ground flat. You couldn't bring yourself to care, though. Not when you were finally back where you belong, by her side.

Breaking out of her stupor, her already-soft voice stretched agonizingly thin as she called out your name.

"Is it—is it really you?" Her cautious eyes met your own. As you two stared at one another, your eyes zoned in on the appearance of her own; not of their color or anything physical like that, but of the emotions welling beneath them. In a flash of realization, it occurred to you just how drastically her gaze had changed over your many years apart. Now, you could spot the newfound way that they stood firm in their focus, rather than darting away like they used to before. Even in this moment of utter confusion and panic, a stable confidence exuded from them all the same.

A giddy smile bloomed on your face. Perhaps, you considered, you weren't the only one that had changed drastically in your absence.

"It's me, Kokomi. I'm home."

In the wake of your reunion, the battlefield waxed and waned with various emotions and differing processing speeds. The entirety of the Watatsumi's soldiers laid their eyes upon you two—some with complete confusion, and others with images of a simpler time flashing before them. As you looked among the crowd, you realized with a start that your own memories were coming up to the surface of your mind as well. Many of these people were the very same that you'd seen so many times as a kid, albeit aged, as time liked to do. For a while, nobody knew how to act.

And then there were bubbles. Only a few, at first. Then some more. And then even more. Before long, the entirety of the space between the field's ground layer below and the damp air above was practically flooded with these strange little bubbles that you didn't recognize. Still, you could sense the energy overflowing inside them, the power they held, along with something else; somehow, they radiated with a palpable, transferable warmth unlike anything you'd ever felt before. Looking at the crowd of Kokomi's soldiers' faces, they clearly felt it too.

Panic overcame the enemy side as they soon came to the same realization you just had. Despite their best efforts, their strength couldn't hold a candle to the healing powers Kokomi could use to simply rewind their work. With a smirk, you cheerfully waved the retreating soldiers adieu as they ran off back to wherever they'd come from under their commander's orders, before letting out a heavy exhale. Watatsumi Island was officially safe at last. All thanks to the valiant efforts of your strong, resilient twin. You turned to her once again.

"That was awesome! I don't get what you did exactly, but it looked super duper cool. You've really grown a lot, huh?" Instinctually, your hands glided down to the set of two long hair strands that made their way across her back, clutching the ends of them in your fists and swooshing them up and down like jumping jack cords. The motion brought back memories to your minds of you bothering her with this exact same hair-bouncing movement as a child, as well as a familiar complaining whine from her throat.

"Don't mess up my hair! You know how long the bow takes to get right." She pouted at you, albeit a hardly convincing one considering all the giggles that poured out alongside it. "And I didn't do much, really. I only managed to heal everyone up so quickly because you were here supporting me. Speaking of... you're not leaving again, are you?"

You let go of her hair to squoosh and stretch her cheeks, warping her face into countless humorous expressions.

"Oh, don't get all gloomy on me now! I'm staying, okay? Come on, we should celebrate." Without giving her the chance to argue, you pulled her over to where the traveler and rest of the military were cheering for you both and making a ruckus (despite Gorou's panicked attempts to settle them down). Childish giggles escaped from both of your mouths as you raced hand in hand across the purple-tinted grassy hills of your shared home.

Perhaps you made the wrong decision to abandon Kokomi all those years ago. That possibility, even now, still lingered in your heart, a regret you might never shake. But maybe, just maybe, going on your separate paths was a necessary step in the journey of your entangled lives. And now that that section of your stories was complete, you might—for once—have the chance to be more than just a shadow looming behind your twin's greatness. This time, you could be a light source of your own, beaming energy and joy out and onto the one person who'd always chosen to stay by your side, time and time again.

And that's all that matters, isn't it?

[sirfrogsworth]

I'm sorry this post is getting so long, but I wrote another post about this post and looking back I feel it belongs here. I think I was finally able to clarify my thoughts a little better. So if you have already read this, feel free to skip it.

Also, I'm not looking at the replies for the moment. I'm waiting until I feel better so I don't have emotional reactions I regret.

-----------------------

I am at the peak of a very intense episode of post-exertional malaise after helping clean my house for 3 days. I am in pain and tired and my emotional defenses are nonexistent. I can't tell the difference between logical lucid thoughts and emotionally out-of-my-gourd thoughts.

And I decided to talk about AI and argue with people about it.

Just… bad timing.

I feel like I was within my logical framework. I hope I made sense.

But some of the things people were saying felt really hurtful and ableist and I don't know if that is just because I am so raw or if I am justified in feeling that way.

The eye tracking thing really bugged me. Like, "here's an expensive alternative but you have to wiggle your eyes for hours." That just sounds... exhausting. And painful. I literally tried using my eyes to draw and it was... unpleasant.

I think I am just traumatized by the millions of unhelpful or laborious suggestions I've received over the years. And maybe that technology can work at some point. But the funny thing is, when I researched it, some of the ideas were to take someone's eye squiggles and then use AI to interpret them into an image. So... same thing with extra steps.

It just felt like people were being so morally rigid they couldn't carve out a tiny empathetic exception for people like my friend. And beyond that, they had to let me know his creative output was meaningless and invalid.

To relate things back to guns, there is a tough pill to swallow here.

Guns are fun. They are fun to shoot. Fun to collect. Fun to modify. Fun to geek out over.

And the fact that they are fun and bring people so much joy and catharsis and sense of community is one of the reasons they are so hard to legislate. Gun people use 2A and self defense as their "legit" argument, but deep down they just like their shooty shoots. They choose this fun over societal safety and it is frustrating as hell sometimes.

Gen AI is fun. I had fun trying it. I made one of those action figure memes. It gave me a little creative high trying to get it right. It was easy to forget I just used 200 gallons of water to cool a computer at some server farm.

Fun things are fun. Fun is therapeutic. Fun can be scarce when you are disabled. And when you find something easy enough to let you have fun and it doesn't require some huge personal consequence, your mind will do all sorts of things to justify it.

If people don't want to admit that this can be in any way fun and helpful and creative, that's fine. If they want to say all of it is ugly and none of it looks cool. Fine. But that is the same frustrating denial that my friend is putting out there with his bogus justifications.

I wish my friend would just say he knows this hurts artists and the environment but it helps him and it keeps him in this world so it is the least bad option for his needs.

I feel the same way about Amazon Prime and Grubhub and streaming services. Video streams use a sizeable energy foot print that keeps growing just like AI. They also screw artists in all sorts of unique and terrible ways. And I still subscribe to a bunch of them because I need my shows to keep my sanity.

Eating meat. Oof. I love animals so much but cheap vegan diabetic diets aren't really a thing.

So I absorb that guilt to keep surviving.

And I hope that I can fight to make some of those things a little less terrible.

Falling into the AI vortex.

Before I deeply criticize something, I try to understand it more than surface level.

With guns, I went into deep research mode and learned as much as I could about the actual guns so I could be more effective in my gun control advocacy.

I learned things like... silencers are not silent. They are mainly for hearing protection and not assassinations. It's actually small caliber subsonic ammo that is a concern for covert shooting. A suppressor can aid with that goal, but its benefits as hearing protection outweigh that very rare circumstance.

AR15s... not that powerful. They use a tiny bullet. Originally it could not even be used against thick animal hides. It was classified as a "varmint hunting" gun. There are other factors that make it more dangerous like lightweight ammo, magazine capacity, medium range accuracy, and being able to penetrate things because the tiny bullets go faster. But in most mass shooting situations where the shooting distance is less than 20 feet, they really aren't more effective than a handgun. They are just popular for that purpose. Dare I say... a mass shooting fad or cliche. But there are several handguns that could be more powerful and deadly—capable of one bullet kills if shot anywhere near the chest. And easier to conceal and operate in close quarters like a school hallway.

This deeper understanding tells me that banning one type of gun may not be the solution people are hoping for. And that if you don't approach gun control holistically (all guns vs one gun), you may only get marginal benefits from great effort and resources.

Now I'm starting the same process with AI tools.

Everyone is stuck in "AI is bad" mode. And I understand why. But I worry there is nuance we are missing with this reactionary approach. Plus, "AI is bad" isn't a solution to the problem. It may be bad, but it is here and we need to figure out realistic approaches to mitigate the damage.

So I have been using AI tools. I am trying to understand how they work, what they are good for, and what problems we should be most worried about.

I've been at this for nearly a month and this may not be what everyone wants to hear, but I have had some surprising interactions with AI. Good interactions. Helpful interactions. I was even able to use it to help me keep from an anxiety thought spiral. It was genuinely therapeutic. And I am still processing that experience and am not sure what to say about it yet.

If I am able to write an essay on my findings and thoughts, I hope people will understand why I went into the belly of the beast. I hope they won't see me as an AI traitor.

A big part of my motivation to do this was because of a friend of mine. He was hit by a drunk driver many years ago. He is a quadriplegic. He has limited use of his arms and hands and his head movement is constrained.

When people say, "just pick up a pencil and learn to draw" I always cringe at his expense. He was an artist. He already learned how to pick up a pencil and draw. That was taken away from him. (And please don't say he can stick a pencil in his mouth. Some quads have that ability—he does not. It is not a thing all of them can do.) But now he has a tool that allows him to be creative again. And it has noticeably changed his life. It is a kind of art therapy that has had massive positive effects on his depression.

We have had a couple of tense arguments about the ethics of AI. He is all-in because of his circumstances. And it is difficult to express my opinions when faced with that. But he asked and I answered. He tried to defend it and did a poor job. Which, considering how smart he is, was hard to watch.

But I love my friend and I feel I'd like to at least know what I'm talking about. I want to try and experience the benefits he is seeing. And I'd like to see if there is a way for this technology to exist where it doesn't hurt more than it helps.

I don't know when I will be done with my experiment. My health is improving but I am still struggling and I will need to cut my dose again soon. But for now I am just collecting information and learning.

I guess I just wanted to prepare people for what I'm doing.

And ask they keep an open mind with my findings. Not all of them will be "AI is bad."

[leupagus]

So I've noticed a trend in the Pitt fandom

And it is not a trend unique to the Pitt by any means, let me be clear! But it is a tiring trend, and one I'd like to see a bit less of, because as someone who's been in fandom spaces for over thirty years, I can attest that such trends can make your fandom experience really, really unpleasant.

It is the trend of the Condemnatory Vaguepost:

Like this one.

The Condemnatory Vaguepost is a post which points out perceived shortcomings in some amorphous "you" or "they" within the fandom while the OP mocks/belittles/otherwise insults (note the "y'all truly amuse me" and "trying to be Woke" and "control yourself a bit please" comments) from a place of presumed moral superiority. A moral superiority which, it has to be pointed out, is never proven or even alluded to. We are supposed to take OP's moral superiority as read because they have identified a "bad thing" that people are doing.

And guys, I've got a recommendation: instead of engaging with people or work that inspires posts like this? Just block them.

Block the people who have takes that annoy you. Block the people who make snide comments about the headcanons you treasure. Block the people who make headcanons you find annoying or problematic or just plain gross. Block me, if this post pisses you off! Block anyone who makes you clench your teeth as you scroll past their posts. You do not need them in your life; you should not want them in your fandom.

"But Gus, decrepit fandom elder," I hear you cry, "what if these people who annoy me have subsequent Content that I cannot then access? "

I have good news for you on that front! They won't. They may well offer valuable contributions to the fandom as a whole, but here's the thing: if you're willing to write a whole post about how these kingdon shippers/robby apologists/etc are stupid/bigoted/etc, then you personally will be annoyed by them even if they make a really great fancam or art or fic or meta, and that will drain all the enjoyment out of whatever it is they contribute. And if you think, "No, I could get over that," then perhaps rethink the value in making these kinds of condemnatory vagueposts at all.

"But Gus, nefarious fandom crone," I hear you cry, "how then can I hope to change the hearts of minds of those I think are doing Bad Things and thinking Bad Thoughts about the characters on The Pitt?"

I have bad news for you on that front! You can't. You will never — and I mean never — win anyone over, or inspire them to change their minds with this kind of behavior. A mel/frank shipper who reads the quoted post is not going to feel shame and remorse for that fic they kudosed last night that made Abby out to be some sort of suffering saint who was relieved to be rid of Frank, only for Mel to fix him with her magic vagina. That mel/frank shipper is instead going to be mad, and hurt, and not for one second think that OP meant to do anything but anger and hurt them. (Which, as far as I can see, is a perfectly justifiable reading.)

And let us be honest with ourselves: the purpose of these posts isn't to change minds. It's to get a little zing of pleasure from telling other people they've done something bad. It's the tattletale impulse we all have, to either appeal to a higher authority and get someone in "trouble" or to simply gloat over our own purity of mind/spirit/body. I've been watching a lot of "Cadfael" lately, and let me tell you, Brother Jerome is within us all.

I don't know that this trend is getting worse — it's been rife in every fandom I've been in, and as I said above, I've been guilty of it myself. (In fact you could argue that I'm still guilty of it, by making this post. Certainly I've lived long enough to look back with shame and regret for a LOT of my behavior, spanning multiple fandoms. My moral superiority here is located somewhere in the Mariana Trench.) But it is startlingly strident considering that this is a new fandom, without any previous franchise (unless you count ER) and which has brought together a huge variety of old fans, new fans, young fans and returning fans. We haven't had the years or decades needed to establish the sort of unspoken rules of what is Just Not Done within the fandom yet. So it's honestly bewildering to see so many different ideas and opinions and preferences being expressed, side-by-side with posts about how those ideas and opinions and preferences are obviously in violation of some standard.

And all of it, all of it, is happening because we watched a TV show about hot doctors and we wanted to talk to someone else about it. That's all a fandom really is — a group of people coming together to discuss a shared interest. And a pretty nerdy one at that.

Tl;dr — we're all at the devil's sacrament, maybe we don't have to point fingers quite so gleefully.

[coffinclownery]

Things I Like about Clinical Trial and How it Differentiates itself from Other Indie Horror Games

This is an addition to my CT Impressions post, and there will be spoilers after the cut. After this any post I make will be tagged "clinical trial spoilers" so you can avoid spoiling yourself on a 3-4hr game. Before going under the cut here's less spoilery reasons I like this game.

Art: The artstyle of the sprites and CGs are nice and while soft carries a lot of impact. There's a ton of different sprites at play during dialogue that really gives life to the characters. If you decide to go for a second run it's interesting to notice what expressions (or lack thereof) are at play. The creator also had another person draw the art for Angel, making their artstyle more unique to the game artwork.

Dialogue Pacing: Something interesting about the dialogue that I can't recall being used to this effect before is the pacing of the lines. Lines aren't always displays at the same pace. There's pauses between words, there's points where the dialogue box is left empty, there's stuttering. It's makes it easy to imagine how the characters are talking in a really interesting way, and it makes watching playthroughs enjoyable. Even players who don't have a lot of experience reading out loud are able to capture the characters a lot easier thanks to how the dialogue works.

Characterization: To be as spoiler-free as I possibly can here, the two main characters are well-written. They have their own internal lives that's shown both on screen and by what's purposely not shown. By the end of the game you have a pretty clear understanding of who these characters are and what dynamics are at play between them. Some argued that the 11 o' clock plot twists were out of left field, but if you replay it you might notice a lot of hints to how it got to that point.

As I said in my impressions post I don't think this was a perfect game, but it's still an experience that's hard to dismiss. I've watched videos, played it multiple times, stepped away from it awhile to see if I'm just overthinking it, but no matter what I do the impact this game left me with remains the same.

But to really drive home why this game's so interesting and why it's so different from a lot of other indie horrors out there I'll need to get into spoilers, so going under the cut now.

Do you have ADHD?: I feel like this became a siren call to people with ADHD and undiagnosed ADHD. Everything from Angel's little quirks to how it effects their ability to live day-to-day is so familiar to anyone who likely has this condition, to the point that it's scary. And even with how much ADHD affects Angel they still have a solid personality and character. Whenever a character is written intentionally with a certain condition there's a risk of the character just becoming a checklist of symptoms, but this avoids that while still giving us the impact of the condition.

Mental Illness: This game is stunningly aware that the characters need therapy. That's kind of a meme with a lot of stories, that things would've resolved a lot easier if the characters had therapy, chuck this villain into a therapy clinic...but no in this case that's blatantly the answer here. Regardless of how you feel about the characters it is so abundantly clear that they need help...and the tragedy is that neither are able to receive it, either through lack of access or fear of repercussions. There's no one solution here that can save these characters.

Their name is Angel: Along with mental illness, what isolates Angel is their queerness, during a time when online queer spaces weren't as prevalent, and especially spaces for nonbinary people. I'm nonbinary myself (which is another thing that makes this game way too familiar to me) and during the era the game's placed in I didn't have the words to really understand what I was. It was lonely. Angel's connection to animals comes from not knowing how exactly to define themselves, only understanding that they can't fit the standards expected from them. And when the only person who accepts you as you are is your stalker and a murderer...I can understand why they would still accept him.

No Meta: Don't get me wrong, I'm cool with meta games, but I think what sets this game apart is the reason for a character's actions...okay it's Lee, I'm talking about Lee here. The reasons for Lee's actions have nothing to do with meta. I feel like there's a lot of characters who fit the same niche as Lee that don't have reasons for their horrible actions beyond meta. Prime example being Doki Doki Literature Club, which I think was a huge influence to latter games. The horror stems from it being a meta game, which has the risk of taking away from the character's actually personality outside of meta-influence. Here there's no risk that Lee's actions can be excused by meta.

Realism: In addition to there being no meta-narrative there's also nothing in the game that reaches parody or fantasy. The unfortunate thing is everything in this games setting is fairly accurate to both the time it's set in and today. The horror is in the mundane, in how systems fail people, which leads them to take drastic measures out of desperation and form unhealthy bonds because of loneliness. The reason this game resonates is probably in part because a lot of people have also been failed by these same systems, and I've seen a lot of accounts of people ended up in similar relationships as the main characters out of loneliness.

Regular-Ass Dude: With the game being set in the realm of the realistic, can we talk about Lee? I saw a post that was like "You wouldn't like him if he was hot," and I did a double take because like...what...? He's hot???? Like physically????? I feel like I'm out of the loop on who's conventionally attractive these days. Because to me an important part of how Lee works is that he's not conventionally attractive, nor is he conventionally ugly. He looks like just a regular-ass dude you'd meet at a doctor's office. His appearance and flat affect becomes a mask to make him appear "normal" on the surface, which throws Angel and the players off the scent of how much of a freak he actually is from Week 1. Because of his surface level normalcy we miss the signs, possibly even right up to the shrine discovery.

Lee's Actual Appeal: His attractiveness only shows when he opens up, sharing his little wallet schedule with terrible writing, complaining about the medical system that fails his patients, his shrimp talk. When he has Angel in his place he actively tries to make them happy and comfortable instead of taking advantage of the situation. It's what makes the discoveries such a gut-punch. There's genuine effort in making Lee so likable and making his and Angel's dynamic work, and then that dynamic gets challenged. The disappointment I felt from seeing the shrine really felt like the disappointment I'd feel when a friend or family member messes up. Because I like them and I wanted them to do better. And then the body's discovered and I'm like "C'mon Lee you you could have least buried him first before inviting guests!"

The Other Regular-Ass Dude: Brandon's also regular-ass dude, but unlike Lee who's only a regular dude on the surface, Brandon's a regular ass to his core. It's what makes him such a loser in the basement. He's not an ugly mustache-twirling villain, he's a decent-looking dude in his early twenties who never had to learn what "consent" truly meant. He genuinely cannot fathom that he's done anything wrong, which is both mortifying and kinda sad. There are thousands of dudes on the internet who still think like Brandon, who still think anything goes so long as the other person doesn't say no out loud. Brandon is not the exception, he is the standard. He's part of the horror of the mundane.

Clinical Murder: Speaking of Brandon I think my favorite scene has to be the basement, where Lee reveals what he believed the basement is for and what he did. Fun as it would be I'm very glad the creator didn't make Lee a typical slasher villain. He's not openly conniving or cruel, he's cynical and very detailed in his violence. His matter-of-fact attitude clashes well with the delusions and fears that brought him to that point. When describing what he was going to do he's cold, casual and uses the same flat affect as he did when describing the testing done to Angel. You could almost say he was...clinical about it. HAH! HAHA!!!

Okay I think I'm past the limit where anyone will tolerate my word vomit so I'll stop here for the day.

[yourfaveisintersex]

Sorry if I'm being extra weird here, but can I hang out with you intersex folks, while I'm myself is perisex? At least to my knowledge

Maybe I hang out at the wrong part of trans community, but they don't seem welcoming anymore and I'm extremely tired of all debates between transfems and transmascs, who has it worse, what's right and what's wrong. You seem very sweet and welcoming in comparison, so much more accepting as well, I really want that. I promise I won't appropriate stuff, I will be respectful, I do my best to learn about struggles you face as intersex people. I'll be good, I promise. Pretty please?

Admittedly yeah this is a weird question, but not to your detriment anon. I'm not gonna make examples but just like... replace "intersex" with any minority group and "perisex" with any majority group and you should see my point.

You might be hanging out in the wrong corner of the community, yeah. I've... unfortunately seen a LOT of intersexism from the trans community, currently the Hot Topics being "umm actually trans is brain intersex (transphobic AND intersexist for reasons I'll let someone else elaborate on at their leisure. but tl;dr "brain sex" is a myth and transmed rhetoric)" and "actually you CAN transition to be intersex trans people litchrally get intersex bodies after medical transition (intersexist, it also implies the reverse which is what the system Wants to do to get rid of us)". Shit sucks and I hate the disk horse but I'll keep all my more Niche Opinions under a cut.

You're allowed to hang around the cookout, methinks. In fact I think it's beneficial perisex people can hang around intersex individuals and existence and listen directly from our mouths. And you might personally benefit from information we tend to share, such as the whole self-advocacy tips with the medical establishment; that's important for everyone to learn. I don't exactly understand what you'd be "appropriating", only think I could reasonably see is like... "transitioning to intersex" or actually maybe pretending to be intersex "for safety" (i.e. "i have low/high T" and etc. in response to people about why your pre-medical transition body is Like That), and some other of those flavors of fetishism of intersex bodies and existence basically. Which, if you are steeped in the community as a perisex person, you SHOULD learn right from the horses' mouths why that's shitty, so that becomes moot.

recent trans separatism discourse discussion under the cut

I hate the Disk Horse over who has it worse too it's such bullshit. I'm firmly planted over on the ""transandrobro"" side whatever that means, because god forbid I believe trans men & mascs have their own unique flavor of oppression because they are trans men&masc? This is more a topic I tend to cover on my main blog thus why this is all under a cut, but to summarize A Bit... Unless you believe trans men & mascs aren't Real Trans (a staggering amount of cis people already believe the only type of trans people are MTF in direction!), why are you upset and, unfortunately based on too many testimonials and screenshots I've been seeing, saying genuinely vitriolic and bigoted things in response to the fact they're starting to complain about their oppression. Also TME/TMA is stupid. Why are we defining ourselves by our suffering or (PRESUMABLY) lack thereof? It feels and IS counterintuitive, based on how I've seen most folk use it. And wildly intersexist but others have pointed it out enough, I need not rehash points.

Obligatory "yes transmisogyny exists too I'm not a moron, same way transandrophobia exists". Or literally whatever word you use in place of transandrophobia, I just use the most popular one because Language Is Meant To Convey An Idea and the haters of it tend to be mad for any word to describe trans men&masc-specific oppression. Anyway, attacking trans women & fems blindly because of this is also just as moronic. This is a very small radical subsection of opinions that is important you point out as such.

[notyourmamasdeerbat]

A Word with Friends: 5/5

Thank you @jenn2d2 for the tag and @hedwigoprah for this lovely game I've really come to look forward to. Sorry I'm late! Busy week, and it keeps getting busier. I've got a cup of tea and a good thunderstorm going outside, so I finally finished this. Rules: Use the challenge word to write a sentence or scene and then tag a few friends. Happy writing! This week's word (is? was?) Perspicacious Definition: Quick in noticing, understanding, or judging things accurately or of acute mental vision or discernment Had to give this word to Emmrich, because it made me blink a couple times and look up a pronunciation guide. (Love it. Love you.) Nerd talk and questionably structured philosophy under the cut!

“So… Do you think spirits attach themselves to the impressions of people after death?” Rook queried, conversational as they picked their way through ankle deep water and dried wheatfields, the biting cold wind whispering over distant cliffs and under their armor.

Emmrich frowned thoughtfully where he walked beside them, folding his hands before him in a scholarly manner. “Well, it has been a matter of debate for centuries! It is a most captivating question. How much can the measure of the mortal soul continue to exist– within or without the Fade. Do our loved ones persist? Appear to us? Or on the rare and specific occasion that we interact with one beyond the Veil… is it truly they? Or a manipulated spirit, drawn to the qualities and psyche of the one we held dear in order to assume their form? Or is that form only what we perceive it to be? There is something to be said about the impression of a quality being an example completely unique to the one who perceives it. A doting grandfather might very well appear as a spirit of Patience. Or vice versa.” 

“Yes,” Rook hummed. “But I asked what you think.” 

The necromancer sighed. “I’m sure I don’t know, my dear. I often wonder the same thing myself. It is indeed a mystery I hope to someday unravel… in the coming years.” 

The Veil Jumper rubbed their throat thoughtfully from beneath their sunbleached plum-colored hood. “If you do end up outliving me, call me up. You can have my corpse to whisper to and tell me what you find.” 

Emmrich winced. “Ah. In a way, that is most gratifying.” 

“Not me,” Davrin said pleasantly. “Leave me in the ground. I’ll have found out by then.” 

Rook laughed. “You better outlive me.” 

“We’ll see. Calling happens around thirty-five. Sometimes younger.” 

“Well. If I’m dead by then, you can take my regards with you to the Deep Roads. You can have my lyrium reagent.” 

“Go out with a bang?” Davrin offered, hand resting idly on his sword hilt as they slogged. 

“Think of me.” 

“It’d be hard not to.” 

“Aww.” 

Emmrich hummed, looking somewhat ill. “Perhaps we ought to turn our thoughts to more cheerful and… present-? Pursuits?” 

“Of course. Sorry, Emmrich.” Rook gently tugged the necromancer’s sleeve in reassurance. “Here and now, we’re all rather well. And on the hunt!” 

“Favorite place to be. Nice to have good back up,” Davrin agreed gently. “It’ll be a long way to go yet.” 

“Tell me more about the Fade collisions. Is there an undercurrent to its vastness? Is it always in motion?” 

“Ah!” Emmrich brightened, intrigued by the question. “Now that has been a study unto its own by the Fade explorers of the Necropolis and beyond! I’m surprised you haven’t gathered your own impression in your travels.” 

“I’ve found mostly that the Fade is active when touched— whether by spirit or dreamer or artifact– like still water, our impacts are like ripples in a pond. But my question is, does the Fade have a… a purpose? A direction beyond itself? Like the undertow in the sea. A shift in pressure, in life signs? Conditions? There are different realms within, for sure, individual to the area it reflects in our realm– and I’m just going on, and on, because you can about this thing.” 

“Kind of mind-bending,” Davrin agreed. 

“But does it breathe? Where does it grow thicker behind the Veil? Why does the Fade reach out to, say, Emmrich, rather than… Assan?” 

Davrin groaned. Emmrich chuckled. “You paint a vivid picture. The Fade itself is transient, as much to our knowledge. Shifting, as you said, like water. It is so easily affected by our world around and outside of it, that control is more of an abstract concept than a reason for being. As for mages and their affinity for it, there is a matter of debate. Something in the blood— though such patterns are hardly ever guaranteed. Take for example the Tevinter nobility.” 

“So we’re not sure if that movement is because of us at all?” 

“Not all of it. Let me ask you this. Does water in all its forms stop moving just because you have left it out of sight?” 

Rook snorted. “If a tree falls in the forest…?” 

“Exactly. Most perspicacious, my dear.” 

Rook sputtered, laughing softly. “One more time? Slower?” 

Emmrich regarded them, brows knit. “I– Ah. Perspicacious.” He smiled. “To have the utmost insight or understanding at the ready!” 

“Oh! Thanks, Emm!” Beaming, Rook rubbed their forehead. 

Davrin sighed heavily. “Word of the day. I should be keeping tally. How many three syllable words can Emmrich use in the span of ten minutes when something so much simpler would do.” 

“My dear young Davrin,” Emmrich reproached, drawing himself up to his full height. “It is never misplaced to use one's extended vocabulary in conversation. Perhaps you too could stand to learn a few new words.” 

“Old dog, new tricks?” Rook offered Davrin with a grin. 

Emmrich scoffed. Davrin started to smile. “I think he resents the turn of phrase. Which of us is ‘old dog’ again?” 

Rook sputtered a laugh. 

“Mind, he might never pay you a long winded compliment again,” Davrin continued. 

Rook clutched their chestplate dramatically with a cry. “No, I couldn't bear it!”

Davrin chuckled and sidled closer to bump their shoulder with his. “You do seem to thrive off praise.” 

Rook groaned and shoved him away. “Positive. Feedback.” 

“Right. ‘S what I said.” Davrin shrugged.

“Deviant.” 

“Suck up.” 

“Flirt.” 

“Teacher's pet.” 

“Warden.” With disdain. 

“Veil Jumper,” he shot back, grinning wide. 

“That's quite enough, I think,” Emmrich hummed. “Unless you'd like all the darkspawn in Hossberg to hear us coming.” 

They lapsed into silence for a while, boots squelching in the marsh, before Rook smiled. “What's wrong with liking learning?” 

“Nothing!” Davrin laughed, rolling his eyes. “Just… you know, your academic pursuits are so inspiring.” 

“You're writing a manual,” Rook snorted. 

“So?”

“With comprehensive diagrams and figure footnotes.” 

“It's for weaknesses! Combat!” Davrin shoved Rook's shoulder. “Monster hunting.”

“Academic,” the rogue observed decisively. “Maybe you should add a paragraph on being per- perspi-” 

“Perspicacious,” Emmrich sighed. 

“Yeah.”

Davrin snorted. 

“Look, no one ever claimed I was the brains of this operation, alright?” 

The Grey Warden’s gaze softened. “Nah. No one ever claimed.” 

“Hey, woah, put those mushy eyes away. Careful where you point those, you’ll have maidens fainting for miles around.” 

“Lucanis has been giving me lessons.” 

Rook choked, burbling another full chested laugh. Thunder rumbled somewhere on the horizon as the first drops of rain began to fall. Emmrich sighed, smiling to himself as he leaned on his staff and forged bravely onward down the path of flooded farmland.

 “Does he know you’re giving him credit?” Rook laughed. 

“You like his puppy eyes.” 

“I do n– Davrin.” 

“Alright, alright. Just saying. Something’s going on between the two of you. Emmrich knows what I’m talking about.” 

The necromancer made a charming little ‘uph’ of protest. “I would rather not presume to speak for–” 

“Yeah!” Rook enthused, preemptively agreeing with the professor. “He doesn’t speak for me.” 

“Evidently not,” Emmrich breathed, mostly to himself. 

Davrin fixed Rook with a knowing, crooked grin. “Sure. Didn’t mean to step on your toes.” 

“What are you on about anyway.” Rook rolled their eyes and forged onward, past a rickety sign post and one of the houses swallowed by blight, offering Emmrich a hand up the slippery rock, before they paused. “Why? Has he said anything?” 

Davrin snickered. 

“Man! That’s not funny.” 

“It’s a little funny. Maybe you could try talking to him.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous. There’s a lot more going on than… than… that.” 

“Yeah, I was wondering about that. Wouldn’t be my first choice– if I didn’t want a knife in my back.”  “Davrin. Be kind.” Rook scowled and grabbed his forearm with a little more force than necessary to haul him up the steps.

Gently softly whisper tagging my beloveds (I do apologize for any double tags, use it as an excuse to get a little treat. You deserve it for making it this far through your day, week, month, year. It's hard work. You're doing great. <3 ) @andthekitchensinkao3 @fenrelmercar @sunny374940 @nevarrantorte @spinfins @draco-illius-noctis @caughtnyact

[darkfictionjude]

Omgggg my ask got cut off and I didn't see it, I'm the anon that was misled by the incest allegations 😭

The moment a was about to list of what I enjoyed about the game too! I was going to say one of my favorite things about the game is Crowny, I love how they are defined to an extent, I prefer non blank slate protagonists because I believe they're fun to write and read (so far the only blank Mc I enjoyed was from tally ho, the ones from cake and ale is more of an airhead), I love seeing Crowny interact with the world on their own (to the point I was sad when the other 3 would show up lol) it's really cool see them grow, I know people have complained, but I do not think people understand how damaging being coddled your whole life is, and I know loved doing the small little things like lying in your resume, trying to decide your college, learning how to drive and almost killing yourself and you bro, all the regular things we do as teens, I'm very proud of them, specially when they stand up for themselves on the last chapter when all the other characters were fighting and they bring up to light how they just got publicly humiliated, I just love how mcs are their own person too regardless of what others think and Crowny is very unique, you shared a gif from the new Dracula movie and it fits very well with the story, in another tome Crowny would be seen differently be it as attractive as people love to ask or spiritually, by alas. I don't know if I'm making sense since English is not my first language. I was also so into their character study I forgot to romance anyone lol, I tried overcoming all my bias to romance Lorcan, (he's, blonde and your sisters ex, so that was..) but then I discovered he was a bottom and into the friendzone(not yet, but THEY WILL BE FRIENDS)he was thrown, then I tried Imre who I at first thought was blackmailing Lorcan into working with him (idk the two of them are suspicious and I have a theory they're working together idk to bring Orla back, at least Lorcan), and HE'S SUCH A CREEP, fake ass bitch, I love him your honor, it's so funny how Crowny sees tru his bullshit, but also their romantic interactions are so charged and funny, he goes to make a move and the Mc is like lemme get out of the car and he locks the door, which is creepy, but he gets that pretty privilege, he gets horny after seeing Crowny humiliated and decides it's tiddy suckling hour, meanwhile Crowny is getting ready for a fist fight, their intaractions are so funny AND NOW DUM DUM DUM Nia!!! I understand both sides, they're teenagers and relationships are complicated, you cannot expect someone to always be there for you and give nothing back, but you cannot also wait for someone to read your mind when you're unhappy in a relationship (friendships are relationships), you can love someone, but decide it's too much for you to carry all the burden (and it's another layer if your Mc is a guy or white too, because black women are put into a double caretaker role), it's also really funny how Nia and Crowny are both not amused by the others interactions with Imre, what are you doing with my bff kind of think teenagers have, but also bitches just talk!!(I wonder if Imre finds it amusing) and I have more to say about the town and other characters, but this is already big enough and probably not very interesting bc other people have such insightful thoughts that are not a brainvomit like mine, anyway that'd all thanks for reading all that💐❤️

*opens the door of the prison cell*

Honestly I loved the library scene because they’ve never done that before. Never in their life have they complained to anyone about what they’ve endured and so it felt liberating in a way

He’s blond😭😭 true that is a mark against him. Blond men are known to be evil

Tiddy sucking hour oh my

You’re right it is another layer if Crowny is white and/or a man. Interesting 🤔✍️

Honestly I accept brain rot vomit it’s nice to see how others see the story

[transmutationisms]

i clicked the button and read it, so I get it if you ignore this. But if you don't mind, as someone who had a seizure that resulted in me not being able to read academic anything fluently, should I just leave? I don't have many people with more experience than me around beyond teachers, so idk who to ask at this point. Despite tanked grades and a year without much recovery a teacher I trust encouraged me to stay for 'my passion'. My doctor says I'll regain some of what I once had. But I can read the writing on the wall and it just seems like it'll get mildly better but never what it was. It feels like it'll just hurt me to pursue this, even if it's all I ever cared about. It's so hard to read a single paper now, let alone a book, or critical analysis after. You have a unique intersection of medical knowledge and actually being heavy into study, so thought I'd just throw this out there. Cheers either way

i can't tell you anything about your individual prognosis obviously. i can tell you i know people with epilepsy in academia -- but like i won't sugarcoat this, it's really challenging for them, for multiple reasons including that seizure recovery takes time & rest every time it happens, & accommodations are invariably nonexistant or laughably insufficient.

would it be possible for you to take a year off, or even a semester? i just ask because one thing that can happen with a lot of neurological recovery processes is we don't have enough time to actually rest our brains, we keep pushing even if we know we shouldn't, and we get stuck in the trenches of perpetual injury/recovery (<- diy serious concussion recovery when i was 11 bc i was too embarrassed to say anything). i can only speak for my [former] department, but it was nbd there for grad students to take time off, i knew people who did it for lots of different reasons & just got the remainder of their funding packages deferred till they came back. obviously this might be easier said than done, but it strikes me as a reasonable middle ground between "give up on a job you like forever" and "suffer through a job you're constantly neurologically struggling with"

i also can't really say whose advice is worth taking here but like from the 100 word ask i'm reading, i would just be slightly cautious about both the doctor and the teacher. it's common & incentivised for the former to wildly underestimate the degree of incapacity their patients actually experience, & as to the latter i think a lot of people who don't have seizure experience also radically underestimate how debilitating a seizure can be, & how long a recovery it is. my position personally has always been that i was ready to leave academia at any time if it became un-fun (or debt-incurring) but, that's me. i also know plenty of people who decided to suffer through degrees they hated doing for any number of reasons, and some of them don't even regret it. i'm sorry you're dealing with this in any case. it's tough.

[elbiotipo]

I think ASOIAF is doing some neat things regarding the "millennia of history" thing - it's actually implied that most stories about events dating to that long ago have been "reskinned" for modern audiences, applying their current mores and sociopolitical conditions. I seem to remember specifically that the so-called "knights" dating back to that time are actually not knights at all, since that concept only came with the Andals millennia after they lived. It's also implied that a lot of technological progress occurred since then, with the people of that time notably using bronze weapons. ...which is why when fans claim that ASOIAF is an example of medieval stasis I cannot help but disagree - it's only stasis if you disregard all the hints (bronze and knights being the largest) of technological and social changes! Also, while Westeros has been somewhat stagnant in terms of technology in the last centuries (presumably due to how instruction works in their kingdom, with the Citadel as pretty much the only place where higher learning occurs), Essos and the free cities are more advanced, such as lens glassworking in Myr (making spyglasses and telescopes). ...basically the semblance of medieval stasis only works if you restrict yourself to Westeros (which funnily enough is kind of the backwater of the world and full of quirky barbarians in the eyes of the free cities) and if you do not look deeper into its history (though most fans do exactly this lol).

Another thing that's interesting about ASOIAF is that the more you go into the past, the more mythical things become - with pseudo-elves (the Children of the forest and the icy Others), giants, magic being used to rupture continents and create curses, and of course the big fire breathing dragons and the empire that created and controlled them through blood magic. However by the time the story occurs, their time is long gone, fading away into myth - and we get the "realistic fantasy" GRRM was talking about. I think that the absurdly inflated timescale for its history (especially the baffling 8000 year reign of the Starks) makes sense if you consider that the past was an age of myths, working by its own rules (and/or that history is distorted in the telling - maybe some kings called starks did rule that long ago, but who can say if their kingship is anything like we intend it today, or if those who call themselves stark today are actually their direct descendants? ).

Though of course, magic is coming back in Westeros, making for a delicious contrast between those long-forgotten myths and the "realistic" mortal backstabbing and wars. Which is rather the point of ASOIAF imo.

...sorry for the rambling!! I simply love your world building posts and they made me think about how ASOIAF handles time and change...

WELL when you put it like THAT it does make a lot of sense. I will admit that I'm not the biggest fan of ASOIAF (neither the story or themes caught me) but there are some things that Jorge did well. The idea of a more "mundane", gritty era after the decay of magic has very interesting mythological parallels, the idea of its return is also good too.

I don't think however, this depth, at least when compared to the numbers given, is really reflected in the story or the aesthetics. Again, I'm not really a big fan but I would love to see more in depth changes, more references to these profound technological and social changes that must have happened.

In fact, I could easily buy the regions of Westeros as ancient with their own unique cultures and more. But like some others have said, rather than a full continent, Westeros is basically a giant version of England.

I am more harsh on GRRM because he became the face of "realistic" gritty fantasy for a while, and not only this fails in the attitudes of his characters but also his worldbuilding. If he's going to complain that other authors don't get economics or attitudes of the past, then maybe he should have thought of the basic geography of his continent first. But then again, actual fans, such as above, have explored this better than me.