#but I'm still happy for persevering through it

[faace-downn]

sometimes i still can't believe that i finally have or can recognize the autonomy on parts of myself that seems so little to others. i had this realization while threading my fingers on my hair, it's a wolfcut, in curls, and short - just how it's supposed to be in my own liking. it's not straightened to its expensive and highest degree as it was during my pre-lesbian days, nor ridiculously long enough just to be recognized as feminine by others - especially men. there was this gnawing need before to be validated by them and I'm glad i caught up just in time to reevaluate things. i no longer value their opinion.

lesbianism is so wonderful. happy pride :)

[silkjade]

& IF WE’RE ALL DRESSED UP, THEY MIGHT AS WELL BE LOOKING AT US

neuvillette x reader ⤀ warnings: implied fem!reader, nothing specific + no pronouns mentioned ⤀ summary: making your debut as a couple at the hallow's eve ball ⤀ notes: wrote this last minute but i'm in one of the latest timezones, so happy halloween ! (written before 4.2 aq)

"Furina might be upset if we steal her spotlight tonight," you mutter, fingers nervously straightening the cravat resting at Neuvillette's neck for the nth time tonight.

"Let her be upset then. It’s not a storm I haven’t weathered before," he replies, wrapping his hands around yours before lowering them back down to your sides. He's sure you've fixed his cravat to be more than perfect already.

"Yes, but garnering our archon's contempt isn't exactly something off my bucket list..."

A low hum ripples in his throat as he tilts is head in earnest trepidation. "Are you having second thoughts?"

You shake your head — absolutely not. A secret relationship is no easy feat, much less one with someone as high profile as Neuvillette, who in spite of his distaste for lingering within the public eye, is still often thrust into the spotlight by those hoping for a glimpse into the chief justice’s private life.

"Just a little nervous I guess," you breathe.

To reveal the nature of your relationship, is a decision you've made as a united front. The gossip columns of the steambird already run rampant with thinly veiled monikers, and there's not much either of you can do when an 'Honorable Monsieur N' is once again spotted with a 'mystery someone'.

It'd open the floodgates to an onslaught of curiosities, but Neuvillette would have the city be his witness, for though he still has much to learn about the ins and outs of human nature, he knows for a fact that his entire heart is yours. So whilst no authority in this land can truly stop the peoples' whispers, if Fontaine wishes to talk, they can do so on your terms, without the threat scandal.

Before the two of you, stands a pair of large double doors; the only thing between you and focalor's hallows eve ball, the only shelter from the costumed elite of Fontainian society who's predatory eyes would land on you the second you step past the threshold.

To your left, Neuvillette stands with an arm behind his back, a perfect gentleman costumed in the finest fabrics, the gold metal details glinting under the chandelier's light. with a deep breath, you straighten as you exhale, carrying the weight of your own matching costume with a dignity befitting of the iudex's lover.

Coppelia and Coppelius, two individual entities, who when together, waltzes amidst a flurry of ice and wind, persevering through any storm. Gingerly, you take his outstretched hand, nodding as the doors creak open.

notes2: tbh i only wrote this cus i thought coppelia & coppelius would be a super cool couples costume HAHA anways thanks for reading, and as always, reblogs + feedback are super appreciated ^^

© silkjade — do not steal, plagiarize, translate or repost any content onto any other platform

[imloyaltoscoups]

i'm ready | yoon jeonghan

After seven long years, you finally find yourself in a place of true peace and contentment. The journey to this point hasn't been easy - the scars of heartbreak and betrayal ran deep, and it took time to heal and rebuild yourself.

But you did it. You persevered through the nightmares, finding strength in your own resilience and determination. With each passing day, you focused on your own growth and development, pouring your energy into your studies and your personal pursuits.

Completing your PhD was a milestone, a testament to your dedication and perseverance. It wasn't just an academic achievement: it was a symbol of your triumph over adversity, a tangible reminder of how far you've come since the pain of your past.

Along the way, you learned valuable lessons about self-love and self-care. You realized the importance of prioritizing your own needs and desires, of carving out space for yourself in a world that often demands so much of us.

The first years were undoubtedly the hardest. You struggled to find your footing, grappling with the weight of your emotions and the uncertainty of starting over. You were cautious with those who approached, wary of opening yourself up to the possibility of hurt once again.

But with time, you learned to trust yourself again. You rediscovered your worth and your strength, and you refused to let the pain of your past define you. You learned to allocate love and care for yourself, recognizing that you are deserving of the same kindness and compassion that you so freely gave to others.

You pause mid-packing, taken aback by your friend's unexpected enthusiasm. They shake the ticket with excitement, their smile infectious despite your initial reluctance.

"Y/N!!! We're going to Koreaaaa!" they exclaim, their voice filled with enthusiasm.

You hesitate, the memories of your past trip to Korea still lingering in the corners of your mind. The thought of returning to the place where so much heartache had occurred fills you with a sense of apprehension.

But before you can voice your concerns, your friend speaks up again, their tone resolute. "You're okay now, right? So it's okay to visit that country again. And besides, who knows when we'll have the chance to see our friends first ever exhibit. If you're worried of bumping with that piece of shit. Don't worry—I'll give him a piece of my mind. Maybe even a punch and a chokeslam for good measure!... I should have been with you when you went there" she pouted.

Their words catch you off guard, but you can't help but laugh at their fierce loyalty. Despite your reservations, their unwavering support gives you a glimmer of courage.

"Alright," you say, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "This is for our girl."

With a newfound sense of determination, you resume packing, knowing that this trip will be different from the last. Armed with the support of your friend and the strength you've gained from overcoming your past, you're ready to face whatever challenges lie ahead. And who knows? Maybe this time, Korea will hold new memories of joy and adventure, rather than pain and heartache.

As you arrive at the exhibit of your best friend, you're filled with a sense of pride and excitement. You rush forward and envelop her in a big hug, a smile spreading across your face.

"Congratulations queen, you did it!" you exclaim, squeezing her tightly. "I'm so proud of you for pursuing your dream of being an artist. Look at the crowd!"

She returns the hug with equal enthusiasm, her eyes shining with happiness. "Thank you so much! I couldn't have done it without you guys. You two kept on pushing me to do this and here we are."

She then shows you around the exhibit, pointing out each piece with pride, you can't help but marvel at her talent and creativity. Each painting tells a story, a reflection of her passion and dedication to her craft.

As you admire her work, she offers you two a glass of champagne, a gesture of celebration for this momentous occasion.

"Cheers to you and your incredible talent," you say, raising your glass in a toast. "May your art continue to inspire and captivate audiences around the world."

She clinks her glass against yours, a wide smile lighting up her face. "Thank you, and cheers to our friendship. I'm so grateful to have you two by my side."

Together, you three sip your champagne and continue to explore the exhibit, basking in the joy of this special moment shared between friends. And as you revel in the beauty of her art and the warmth of her friendship, you know that this is a memory you'll cherish for years to come.

Time pass by and your best friend excuses herself to greet other visitors, you nod understandingly, letting her immerse herself in the moment. Beside you, your other friend suddenly excuses herself to rushed off to the bathroom, leaving you alone amidst the bustling gallery.

As you scroll through the gallery, admiring the artwork, a familiar voice calls out your name. You turn around and are surprised to see Jeonghan standing there, holding a glass of champagne. To your own surprise, you feel no shock or hurt at his presence. Instead, you feel a sense of calm and resolution.

"Hi," he says, his voice tentative as he approaches you. "How are you?"

You offer him a small smile. "I'm doing better than ever," you reply confidently. "I got my PhD and now I'm planning on doing my residency."

Jeonghan's eyes light up with genuine pride. "That's amazing," he says, offering his congratulations. "I always knew you would achieve great things."

You exchange conversation for a while, catching up on each other's lives. Eventually, Jeonghan takes a deep breath and admits once again that he is truly sorry for the pain he caused in the past.

You nod, feeling a sense of closure wash over you. "I've forgiven you," you say simply.

His eyes widen with hope, and for a moment, you see the flicker of longing in his gaze. But before he can say anything else, a commotion interrupts the moment.

A little kid comes running towards you, calling you "mama." You glance down and see your baby boy, and you can't help but smile as you scoop him up into your arms.

"Where's Papa?" you ask, and just then, a voice responds—a man carrying your one-year-old daughter.

Jeonghan stands frozen, his eyes wide with disbelief as he takes in the sight of your family. You introduce your husband to him, and as you do, your baby boy innocently asks who the man you're talking to is.

"He's one of the singers mommy used to love," you reply gently, trying to keep the atmosphere light.

Jeonghan introduces himself to your family, his emotions held back as he struggles to maintain his composure. But as the moment stretches on, you can see the glass in his hand trembling, a silent testament to the storm of emotions raging within him.

"Mama, can we look for Tatie?" your baby boy asks, his eyes wide with curiosity.

You smile down at him and give a nod. "Of course, sweetheart. Let's go find her," you reply, your heart swelling with love for your children.

Turning to Jeonghan, you offer a polite smile. "It was nice meeting you again," you say sincerely.

Your baby boy tugs at your hand, eager to leave. "Goodbye, Uncle!" he chirps before running off with your husband and daughter.

Jeonghan watches them go, his face a mixture of shock and sadness. You offer him a sympathetic smile before turning away to search for your best friend.

As you walk with your husband by your side, his arm wrapped around you protectively, you feel a sense of peace wash over you. You lean into him, grateful for his unwavering support and patience.

"Thank you for being so patient love," you murmur, pressing a quick peck to his cheek.

He smiles down at you, his eyes filled with warmth. "You're very brave, you know that," he says simply, his voice filled with admiration.

You feel a surge of gratitude for the life you've built together, for the love and happiness that surrounds you. And as you continue to search for your best friends, you realize that maybe visiting Korea isn't so bad after all, especially when you have your family by your side.

In that moment, you realize that the greatest revenge you can provide to Jeonghan is finding your own happiness without him. And as you find your own people who cherish and support you, you know that you've already won.

part 1, part 2

....... ≿━━━━༺JEONGHAN༻━━━━≾ .......

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 7 part 4

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7])

I woke up to the news of Ms. Patti LuPone getting a Critics’ Choice nomination, so, you know. VINDICATION!!!!

lilia is back in the tunnel with jen, looking like the definition of a sad wet cat

it's actually cute that she can be so gullible at times. incredible seer powers, but not so good with irony

hadn't noticed jen tearing off half her dress and creating a perfect miniskirt

Because I wanted it to. I ignored it. I put it away. Lilia admits that losing her powers wasn't something that happened to her, but an active choice she made.

I always appreciate the visual gag of a tall actor and a short actor behind a wall

my new favorite disaster duo!

following the actual timeline, this is the first time they see the trial, but lilia has been here already, in the future.

billy's so happy he hasn't killed them lmaooo

the SWAG this woman has

WHO MASSACRED THIS SPREAD i can't

LITERAL CHILDREN. mom's back home and wants to know who started the fight

gay jokes. gay jokes as far as the eye can see. and billy going me me me let's make this about me

oh this is such nice framing

she's so commanding. i love it when lilia is in control

everyone's comedic timing is on point in this scene. and jen holding an apple!

when I say billy is making it all about himself, I mean that he - intentionally or not - created the Road as a way to understand his own identity, to figure out how his human life with the kaplans and his witchy heritage can fit together. and he's making it everybody else's problem.

yesss supportive jen

I'm gonna write down this whole speech because I want to learn it, and I also want to listen to patti deliver it again and again.

"The first card is you, the Traveler. next comes What's Missing, the reason for your quest. here is the Path Behind, wounds suffered, lessons learned. here is the Path Ahead, a place for growth and discovery. of course you will face Obstacles, preceding a potential Windfall. you must overcome all to reach you Destination."

so 1) the subject, 2) their goal, 3) the past, 4) the future, 5) shit they're gonna go through, 6) shit that's gonna help, 7) destination.

Gotcha.

clowns

you are the Magician. you have enormous potential and the ability to turn all your goals into reality. very fitting. I love that billy's card is not about danger, but about potential.

detective agnes still trying to figure out billy. you know her mind is doing the math lady meme

and here agatha jumps ahead to save lilia from the falling sword. you know what she's doing? she's doing what alice would have done. in moments of danger we've seen alice barreling to the rescue with agatha one step behind, almost following but ultimately suppressing the instinct to help. I don't know if agatha absorbed something of alice's essence by killing her, or if her example was simply contagious. but agatha has taken up her mantle, and, without realizing it, she's protecting the coven in her stead

lilia jumps to episode two, episode four and episode three in rapid succession, and lands herself back with maestra.

lilia says she didn't want to come, maestra once again calls out her bullshit. nobody put her on this journey, nobody stole her powers. she did it all herself.

I'm a forgotten woman. Then REMEMBER YOURSELF! is one of the best lines in these shows, I'm putting it up there with what is grief but love persevering. it's so empowering. because look, we can ask for help, we can find community. we need to, actually. but nobody can save you, if you don't save yourself first.

lilia's past, her family, her coven, an entire generation wiped out, with her as the sole survivor. she saw it coming from miles away and couldn't do anything to prevent it.

in her anguish, lilia has just revealed her old maestra exactly how she's going to die. and this impossibly wise woman just shrugs it off.

it's all we have in common.

we cannot escape our suffering. we can only share the burden.

go to episode 7 part 5

[theflowerrooms]

to request • eddie’s masterlist • main masterlist

Brand New Baby Girl

Eddie Munson x pregnant!fem!Harrington!Reader

Summary: you’re having your baby girl and her father is nowhere to be found, thankfully, your brother Steve, and Eddie step in, promising to be there for you and your girl.

wordcount: 2.1k

Warnings: Tommy being a deadbeat loser, swearing, pregnancy and childbirth, Steve being a protective big brother/uncle, Dustin’s super cute, Eddie steps up!!

this was requested by @tracymbcm, unfortunately a bunch of my asks got eaten, yet I persevered! Thank you so much for requesting this, I loved writing it!

Steve's hand is warm and shaking slightly as he holds your face, damp from tears. You just pushed through another contraction, they were getting closer together, your baby was almost ready to be here and still your boyfriend, Tommy, was nowhere to be found. He hadn't answered the phone any time you, Steve or even Eddie called him.

Steve sighed pressing his lips to your forehead as you cried, Eddie dabbed away your tears, holding your hands with his free one as Steve's held your heavy head. "Tommy needs- needs to get here. 'm having his baby." You cried out, head falling back against your pillow.

  "I'll go call him again, s'gonna be okay." Steve pressed another kiss against your forehead before he stood straight to head out to the hallway, his hands shook as he called Tommy's number for what felt like the thousandth time, getting sent to the answering machine again.

  "Tommy you fucking bitch, your daughter is being born right now. You'll be lucky if you're even physically capable of seeing her after I'm done with you. Asshole."

  You gazed up at Eddie with sad eyes and he frowned down at you, calloused thumb dragging over your knuckles. "You're doing so good man. Such a good mom already. Everything's gonna be alright, y'know?" Eddie chewed on his lip nervously and a smile broke onto your flushed face.

  He had no idea what he was doing or saying. Neither did you. He was just so sweet, holding your hand and encouraging you. You'd known Eddie for a long time, but you'd never been close. Not until you started staying with him and Steve during the last few months of your pregnancy when it was getting hard to take care of yourself and Tommy was busy 'working'.

  You knew he wasn't working, Eddie guessed he wasn't, and Steve was seeming to just be figuring it out. You weren't entirely sure why you were still with him. You did love him, and you'd both been so happy and in love earlier in your relationship. You were just desperate to find a way to fix your relationship, love each other again for your daughter's sake. You remembered what it was like to have parents who didn't love each other, who hardly loved you and Steve. You didn't want that for your baby, she didn't have a big brother that would make up for everything else like you did.

  Steve walked back into the room, jaw tight and you didn't need to ask to know the outcome. You threw your head back in disappointment, sweaty forehead resting against Eddie's arm. He didn't mind at all, just leaning down to press a kiss to your hairline.

  You groaned quietly when the doctor entered the room. He didn't spend long checking you out before he clapped his hands and smiled at you. "Ready mom? It's time to start pushing!" His voice was happy and calm but it did nothing to quell your anxiety.

  "I can't, I can't-"

  "You can babe, I know you can." Eddie squeezed your right hand tighter while Steve grabbed your left. "You are the strongest person I've ever met, you can do this, for her. And y'know she doesn't seem to be willing to wait 'cause she's on her way, like, now. You are going to rock this." Eddie gripped your face, waiting until you nodded before he nodded at Steve who nodded at the doctor.

  The birth went smoother than any of you thought it would. It went smoother than it probably would have with Tommy there instead of Steve and Eddie.

  Steve was as encouraging as ever, hyping you up, helping you regulate your breathing. It was crazy how he went from kissing your scraped knees when you were kids to kissing your teary face as you had your first baby. His hands stroking your arm and hand constantly, carful not to irritate your IV.

  Eddie had to take his rings off, he wouldn't complain about the pain in front of you, but he wouldn't be surprised if his knuckles were broken from how hard you squeezed his hand, the prints from the chunky silver he wore still red on his fingers.

  You learned there's no such thing as being prepared for childbirth. It's the scariest, most painful thing you've endured.

  But it's also the most rewarding. All of the pain and fear was beyond worth it when you got to hold your baby girl against your chest. You were crying. Steve was crying, Eddie too. The baby only cried when she first came out, but now she was quiet, chubby cheek smooshed against your chest.

  The first while after you had her was hectic, doctors checking on you and her, asking you, Steve and even Eddie millions of questions. But finally, it was just you, Steve, Eddie and your doctor in the room again, it was quiet as Eddie put your hair into ponytail for you so it wasn't as warm on your neck. You cried happily and watched Steve hold his niece for the first time, his golden brown eyes glossy with tears.  "It's so nice to finally meet you." His voice was soft and it shook, dripping with love, for you and the baby.

  "I think you guys should be good for visitors now." Your doctor smiled at you all and Eddie nodded, standing up straight.

  "I'll go get the kids." With that he kissed your head for the millionth time and left the room. He took a minute in the hallway, leaning against the wall. The day was overwhelming, filled with so much pride to have been there for that, for you, and so much anger toward Tommy.

  The door closing again startled him. "You did great in there, dad." The doctor grinned at Eddie and his heart pounded in his chest. He chose not to correct him before he started his descent down the hallway.

  "She's here." Eddie told the group of people in the waiting room. The kids bounded down the hallway, tripping over their own feet with Dustin in the lead.

  Robin bumped Eddie's shoulder with her own as they followed the kids. "Tommy show up?" She asked and Eddie shook his head, hands clenching at his side.

  "It's his loss." He sighed. "Prettiest fuckin' kid ever born and he's not here to see her." Eddie scoffed.

  You cried more hearing everyone gasp in awe at your daughters presence. "Wash your hands! Nobody touches the baby till your hands are washed, thoroughly." Steve demanded, swaying softly with your baby.

  You weren't sure when the waterworks would stop. Robin crying with your baby in her arms made you cry more. Lucas was nervous about holding her, so he didn't, but the way he looked at her in Max's arms brought even more tears to the surface.

  "We are going to be best friends. It's okay, if you like your mom or uncle Steve a little bit more than me, but uncle Dustin's gotta be at least top three, got it?" Dustin explained to your daughter too little to even be able to see him properly and you cried more.

  It was Tommy's own fault he was missing out on this, you knew, but still you wished he was here, for you, for his daughter. "Steve?" You got your brother's attention. "Did he try and call back at all?" You asked, hope draining with each second, and depleting entirely when Steve shook his head.

  He grabbed his coat. "I'll go get him." Steve's voice was monotone, arms stiff when he left.

  "Alright everyone, 10 more minutes of babylove and then you're getting kicked out!"

-

  "Tommy's not coming." You guessed as you leaned against Eddie who lay next to you in the hospital bed which was definitely not made for two people. You'd just fed your daughter for the first time. Giggling at how Eddie's face was beet red as he looked anywhere but at you during the entire latching process.

  "Fuck Tommy." He shrugged, hand resting on your elbow as you held your beautiful baby girl, cooing softly.

  "Already did, unfortunately." You laugh softly.

  "Yeah." He drags it out in a sigh. "Sucks to suck I guess. But hey, you got a pretty sweet consolation prize over here." He brushed his thumb over her cheek and you realized it's the first time he's touched her since she was born.

  You shift your weight to offer her to him and his eyes widen. "You haven't held her yet." You hum and he takes a deep inhale, taking her from your arms.

  "What the fuck..." his voice shakes as he looks down at her, deep brown eyes brimming with tears. "She's like, ethereal. She's perfect." His voice broke and you sniffled, pressing your face into his shoulder.

When Steve came back you pretended not to notice his bruised and skinned knuckles, pretended not to notice his swollen lip or the welt forming behind his eye. You assumed Tommy was worse off.

  He came over to the other side of you, leaning over and kissing your cheek, then leaning further to kiss the pink blanket over your daughters stomach. "I'm sorry." He whispered and you shook your head.

  "I'd rather you and Eddie here anyway for me." You hummed and he smiled, big hand resting on his niece's stomach, sleeping quietly in Eddie's arms.

  "We'll we're not going anywhere." Steve started, "we're here for you, and for Baby Harrington."

  "Stevie."

  "What's up?" He looked up at Eddie, tongue wetting his bottom lip at the sound of his voice.

  "That's her name. Stevie." You spoke quietly, tilting your head toward your baby. 

  "What?" Steve's eyes glazed over and his mouth dropped open. "For real?" He looked from you to the baby and started to choke up.

  "There's nobody in my life more important to me than you, Steve." You smiled. "Well, except for her" you giggled.

  "Not her fault she's so much cooler than everyone else." Eddie baby talked at her, making you giggle.

-

  Later on, Steve left to go update your parents who were not invited to the hospital, Stevie was off getting checked out by some nurses, you slept, and Eddie watched you, a protective hand laying on your stomach.

  The door opening stole his attention from you and he stood up with a big smile on his face as your baby was brought back in the room, making soft noises from where she lay in a nurses arms.

  "Looks like mommy's tuckered out! Uncle Steve's out too, looks like it's time for some daddy-daughter time." She smiles sweetly as she hands the baby over to Eddie. "I'll be back in a couple hours to check on Stevie and mom. She's so peaceful, enjoy it while it lasts." She laughs softly and leaves.

  Eddie rocks her gently in his arms as he sits down with her. "I'm not your dad, just so you know. You kinda got screwed in the dad department. But so did I and I'm super cool." He smiles down at her as she stares up at him. "Besides, you got lucky with the coolest mom possible. She's incredible." He smiles up at your sleeping form.

  "And just for the record, I would be so honoured to be your dad."

-

  About 10 months later, you sit on the floor of your new apartment with Stevie. Soft brown locks and big brown eyes, there wasn't anyone she looked like aside from your big brother. The only thing she inherited from Tommy was his freckles, which you were fine with because they were so cute.

  She grabs onto your hand, using it as leverage to pull herself up, which she'd been doing a great job at for the last week. You cheered her on as you both waited.

"Da! Dada!" She yelled the only word she used regularly as she heard the door open and close. Neither of you had to look to know that it was Eddie.

  "My girls!" He shouted with a smile like he did every time he came home from anywhere. He picked her up and held her on his hip, giving her a big wet kiss on her cheek before he leaned down, flipping her so she was almost upside down, giggling loudly as she watched you and Eddie kiss. "Missed you so bad, take this" he shifted and you smiled, pulling Stevie from his arm as he presented a small gift bag to you.

  "I know her birthday's a couple months away, but, I got her something. And I need to show you now because it's so cute and I might explode if I have to wait." He rushed out and you laughed at him.

  "Go ahead dear." You smiled as you sat Stevie in your lap.

  He destroys the bag in his pursuit, grinning wide. "Dustin's totally gonna flip." He mumbles before finally, he pulls out the gift.

  A little hellfire onesie for his little girl.

[withleeknow]

like you used to.

pairing: chan x reader genre/warnings: established relationship, angst word count: 0.6k note: "things i wish you'd said" for the fellow wifeu hehhehhehe. first bang chan piece, people !!

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

navigation › masterlist › ko-fi

you remember when things were good.

now, you can only hope for a fraction of how they used to be. you don't even dare to ask for good again. you just want things to be better.

the way that everything is now - you don't know if it's right to label it bad. it's just... stagnant. lethargic. lifeless and on the verge of becoming unrevivable.

chan used to put you first, or at least, he would always make you feel like you were the center of his universe. when you'd first gotten together, the honeymoon phase seemed to last forever. you revolved around each other the way that everything in the solar system revolves around the sun. constant. a fact of life.

which is to say that the love was always endless. unwavering. persevering and true.

you could always feel the efforts he put in to prioritize your relationship. starting every morning with an i love you and ending the day the same way. staying on the phone for entire evenings whenever he had to be away. showering you with flowers and adorable small gifts any chance he got because he knew you didn't like extravagant things. running through the streets in the rain, giggling like a couple of fools utterly in love. spending hours talking and stargazing until the night faded away and you couldn't even see the stars anymore.

you were perfect together, perfect for each other.

what happened? what went wrong?

when did he start slipping away?

the i love you's don't sound the same anymore. when he gets into bed at night and presses a half-hearted kiss to your forehead, those three words feel like an obligation that he says just for the sake of upholding it.

no "just five, ten, fifteen more minutes!" when he wakes up in the morning and wraps his arms around you tightly for some extra cuddling time, peppering you with kisses on any exposed skin that he could find. instead, chan opts to desert the warmth of your side moments after his alarm rings. no lingering touches on your body before he leaves. just his fingertips ghosting on your back as if to quietly say "good morning, i'm going now".

it's a feeling that you can't quite describe even if someone asks you to - seeing the person you love the most fade away day by day, in front of your very eyes.

he's the last person you would expect this from.

the hardest thing to accept is that nothing happened. nothing went wrong. there's no one at fault, nothing to pin the blame on. love just went cold, and it's one of the saddest things that you and him will ever go through.

because your fire is still burning, not flickering even once while his love has been reduced to embers and you're helpless; you can't do anything to stop it from going out completely and turning frigid. because he's still the love of your life, even if you aren't the love of his anymore.

there are so many things that you wish you could tell him, so many things that you wish he would say to you.

tell me you want me and mean it.

kiss me like you did the first time under that shitty street light near the corner of my old apartment. it was dark and freezing, but we were so happy then, weren't we?

you don't have to love me forever like you once promised you would. just... love me. love me again.

because when he comes home and greets you with a smile - an empty one - that doesn't make his eyes light up like they used to, you know that the clock is ticking faster; time is cruel and time is running out.

you wish he would.

but you know he won't.

permanent taglist: @onlyycb97wife @starsandrqindrops @borahae-reads @abbiestearsricochet @cutiespaghetti @anthropologykpopmultistan @moonlinos

all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 02.01.2024]

[gotafewtricks]

there are two main things that i love in this life: genji and plushies… what if reader makes genji plush and shows him..? would he like it? would he be like erm what the scallop? maybe this request is a little too silly… but… genji plush

★ "Don't turn me into a marketable plush!"

i am going FERAL over this ask. i literally was just thinking of that, too, today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY GENJI <33 It's okay, nothing is ever "too silly" here :3 reminds me, I think on Etsy you can commission someone to make this kitty Genji plush? Or, I'm tripping.

You figured that you'd want to go get Genji a special gift. He doesn't really mention liking much, other than musing about his early fascination with arcades and his troublemaking antics. Over the course of years and years, he's calmed down, but you do love seeing his more playful sidee shine every once in a while.

You knew that in his line of work, he doesn't expect anything for himself. The most that he could ask is just for someone's happiness and appreciation, that that's it for him to be reminded that—yes, he's doing a good job, and he's doing his best.

When he first acquired his new body, he'd be disappointed in himself; in his newfound form. Blinded by his strong, persuading emotions—there would still be times where he felt as if he didn't deserve someone's kindness. If he were to see someone who mirrored how he was back then, he could not've felt empathy—rather, a digust in seeing a spitting image of himself.

He now understands his worth and value in a greater extent now, with the help of his closest companions, mentor, and everyone... Ah, it still gives him chills whenever he thinks about that whole process again.

You were first interested in his initial reaction towards getting a plush. Would he think of it as merely childish, or would he understand the amount of hours you absolutely slaved over in trying to find the right techniques for it? Only time'll tell.

The idea was cute and simple; as it was merely just a plush. You wondered if he even cared much for plushes, figurines, or anything that he could really display. You knew that with his work as an agent, he is more-than-likely constantly out. It's be cool if he were to be able to at least settle the gift in a place he'd be able to see it every so often, as a gentle lil' reminder of you, but you didn't even know of he even... had a consistent residence.

You persevered, albeit.

After tutorial video after tutorial video on trying to work on a humanoid base for your plush, it became taxing on your hands. Either if you're working with knitting needles, sewing by hand, or machine—it was annoying how you'd prick your finger, trying to aim for the felt to stitch it up; or, the amount of hours that pass by whenever you try out your crocheting skills. It was a simple idea, so why weren't there any simpler methods?

Nights where you'd slump over your desk, fingers all red from the exertion, and your brain tired from all of it. You wanted to do your best for Genji, but it was difficult trying to even find a baseline on where to start with him. How'd you even make his helmet? Nonetheless, the inteicate details to his outfit and weapons?

You didn't want to commission the plush, as you were determined to make it from your own very hands. Through sweat, blood, and tears—you WILL make this thing.

Ultimately, you knew better than to just work and work and work on such a hard project. As much as you wanted to show Genji your utmost appreciation, also in a medium that you'd equally love, you knew that gifting Genji a bundle of stuffing all patched together by mishappen thread wasn't something you should be thinking of.

At the end of the day, you just wanted this idea to get out of your head. You didn't promise a gift to him, rather, you promised one to yourself. You'll get this done, even if it's eating away and nagging at your thoughts. You didn't buy all of those supplies for nothing, after all! Better make that money worth it.

Thinking on the topic of him possibly not being able to display the gift in a convenient position, you did consider making the plush smaller. However, the only issue was was because of the loss of quality that is also brought by with it—since you have to downscale the details, and simplify a few things so that it doesn't look all-too overwhelming.

You decided on making him a little charm. You'd imagine he'd be able to put it on a bracelet or a necklace, or just on whatever—as a little bit of added personalization. There were still the downsides listed prior, but you feel as if you tackled too big of a project for yourself; as it did require both patience in waiting lots, and having a lots of time.

At first, you were lost on really doing this, but ovee time with what you've learnt, you made a little plush charm that could fit into someone's palm! You were awfully proud of the little guy, since as soon as you were done making him and hooking the little chain, you gave it a tiny headpat with your index finger. Well done.

When Genji felt you tap his shoulder, you could tell that there was a smile behind his voice, as he asked what you wanted. He sensed you before then, but wanted to see what you'd do anyways.

You hid the item behind your back, snickering to yourself about what'll ever possibly happen. You guessed it was just from Genji, but gosh, does he make you eager. Even if he's not doing remotely anything in specific.

"What is it? Normally, people do not just laugh at something with their hands like that." He'd point out—thanks Captain Obvious—whilst with that teasing edge to his voice. He'd take a sidestep, a gander at what you may have, and then you try to cover it up.

"Be patient! Isn't that your whole thing?"

You then would sigh, as he made a mocking motion with his hands; mimicking how a sock puppet would speak. Upon making the comment on how he must not want his gift after all, he then shakes his head affectionately with a gentle tsk.

Once you then clasped your hands over the charm, you brought it out in front of you. When you released them, and showing him the little plush, he couldn't help but laugh at how adorable the thought was. He'd look up and down, judging by how he moved his head—since you cannot really see his eyes—nonverbally asking you if he could pick it up. You allowed him, and he then held the little guy in between his thumb and index.

"It's a pocket you." You explained, sounding dumb but you didn't care. Genji was busy squishing it, and playing with the keychain. "You're a father now."

He hated how he was just so giggly today. With an eye roll, you knew him enough to tell that, he then pockets the object in his hoodie. You were glad he liked it so much. "I'll take great care of my new son, don't worry."

The next day, whenever you went out to get a breath of fresh air—you saw Genji, sparring his sword against some practice dummies set up around the site. You wished you would've said more previously to him, that you made the gift out of appreciation for the ninja—but seeing how he had the accessory pinned on his hand, a place where he'd always have it... It spoke volumes.

[milkywaydrabbles]

Number 15 for Alucard, it'd be so cute!

A/N: I don't think this is the fluff you were expecting LOL I promise it's a happy ending but the angst took over. In case you (or anyone else) was wondering the song is Cherry Wine by Hozier (i'm in my feels right now about this man I'm sorry) Anyways I hope you like it mwuaaah

"Sing to me again" x Alucard

Fight.

Attack.

Defend.

Alucard couldn’t think of anything except you and the baby while he was on the front line. The village had been so peaceful, for long he nearly forgot there were still monsters crawling around in the world. The stragglers that had grown stronger, the ones who persevered throughout the days, weeks, months. The stragglers that had already killed some of the makeshift infantrymen, the ones who have had nothing but time on their hands and are so hungry they see red. The stragglers that had Alucard running out to defend the village while you stay hidden away deep in the castle, barricaded and locked behind the safety of your shared home. They were evolved, instantly locking onto the dhampir who was the strongest amongst the men, bloodied grins widening: teeth sharp as blades that could tear through muscle and sinew with ease.  Alucard steadied himself, gripping a little tighter onto his shield and sword, kissing its hilt and imagining your sweet face, the sweet face of his newborn daughter, and lunged.

-

You were frantic, trying so hard to stay calm if only for your energy not to be poured into the babe huffing and crying in your arms. You’d been trying to put her to bed, but how could she? How could she sleep when she felt your panic, your anxiety pulsing into the very air she breathed in? How could she sleep when your soothing rocking was more jarring than anything, your voice shaky as you shushed her? How could you ever expect her to calm her sorrows when, if you tried hard enough, you heard the incessant howls and screeches from the deadly monsters outside castle walls.  You prayed, you prayed to all the deities and gods that could ever possibly exist to bring your Adrian back home. You’d never worry like this, he’s so strong, fending off the monsters with ease. But you’d never seen him so nervous like this either: having the heavy knocks of men on the castle doors begging for saving. The sheer strength of the creatures overwhelming them. 

What felt like days passed, it could have been a few minutes, it could have been a few hours. You’re not sure, you and your daughter going in and out of sleep, waking at every creak and bang that was heard. You shushed and cooed, steadying yourself the best you could to maybe sing a lullaby to your darling girl. “Shh, shh, I know sweet pea--I miss him too. But he’ll be safe, he’ll come back..” You whispered, kissing her forehead as a tiny hand balled into a fist rubbed at scrunched up eyes. 

Her eyes and words are so icy oh, but she burns like rum on the fire. Hot and fast and angry as she can be, I walk my days on a wire. 

It looks ugly, but it’s clean, oh momma don’t fuss over me.

Way she tells me I’m hers, and she’s mine. Open hand or closed fist, would be fine. The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine.

The cries lulled to a few whines and whimpers, holding her to your chest as you continued your hushed tones.

Calls of guilty thrown at me, all while she stains the sheets of some other. Thrown at me so powerfully just like, she throws the arm of her brother.

But I want it, it’s a crime, that she’s not around most of the time.

Way she tells me I’m hers, and she’s mine. Open hand or closed fist, would be fine. The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine.

Singing has calmed you enough to keep a gentle bounce, baby slowly falling asleep in your arms. You internally sighed, thankful that at least the immediate worry of your child has been quelled. 

Now all you can do is wait for your beloved.

-

Alucard ended the life of the final monster, hearing the victorious cries and hollers of the villagemen around him. He was grateful the battle had ended, retreating quickly to your shared home, finally able to hold you in his arms. Slowly, he opened the doors, knowing any sudden movements could stir his (hopefully) sleeping baby girl. He didn’t want to increase your stress, already guilty that he had to leave you in disarray. He made his way to the room he’d left you in, sure you’d still be in there: the nursery. The very nursery that you two built with your own hands, right next to his old bedroom.

Just like Vlad and Lisa.

 As Alucard got closer, he heard small hiccups and babbles from his daughter, along with the soft singing coming from you. He recognized the song, a song you’d often sing to yourself when you thought he wasn’t listening. The same song you’d sing into his hair when he was half asleep. He pressed the door open, his heart stopping at the very sight of you whispering the song into your daughter’s fluffy mess of a head, eyes closed. You hadn’t noticed him, and he was grateful. He wanted to just take in the moment, all panic and anxiety of constantly thinking that something might have happened, that something might have gotten through the castle, all quelled the moment he saw you both. 

He let you finish, giving you a moment before softly knocking on the door, your eyes darting to him immediately, tears forming in the corners of your eyes. “Adrian..” You whispered, voice heavy. He crossed the threshold, kneeling at your feet and holding you both without disturbing the sweet babe. “Oh thank god you’re safe.” You did your best not to cry, you really did, not realizing just how scared you were for his safety. But he was alive and well and back in your arms. “I’m here now, love, I’ll keep you both safe always.” He whispered into your hair, looking down at his baby with adoration. 

“I heard you singing, love.” You hummed, calm enough now to put your girl down in her crib. The moment you sat back down though, Alucard’s head rested on your lap, hugging at your legs. You pet his hair, combing your fingers through the blond tresses. You hummed the melody of the song to him as his eyes fluttered close, breathing even. By the end you’d thought he’d already falling asleep, instead he spoke a whisper: “My darling, will you sing to me again?” Your heart clenched, and with a smile you responded:

“As long as you keep coming home to us, I’ll sing to you every day.”

[queenlilithprime]

Happy Pride

Mirrors are a reflection of oneself, and upon reflection of my identity I find pride.

I am disabled, that is my biggest point of pride. I am trans, another massive point of pride. I'm non-binary, yet another point of pride. I'm Aromantic, Asexual, Agender, all points of pride. And at the end of the day, I love who I am. I have pride in the identity I have found.

My struggles with identity and this art below the cut!

I actually struggled a bit with this piece, drawing myself. Most of my sona's have long hair, but at the moment I have a buzz-cut due to health issues. It was a difficult decision to draw myself as I am, with my headscarf and my buzz-cut. To draw my body closer to what I look like in real life than before.

I'm sure I've mentioned it but I am fat, I'm not just chubby or curvy, I am fat. It's not easy for me to say but I am. However, this is the same body that has persevered through my disability, and this is the frame that managed to survive. This is the weight my body will stay at.

Another struggle for me is depicting my chest accurately. I have a very large chest and as someone who doesn't want my large chest, it's a struggle. It's something I know is a massive reason I'm an attractive person, but it also kills me inside to always be seen as a woman because of it.

My body is naturally extremely curvy, I've always had a small waist and large chest/bottom. It's someone else's dream body for sure. But for me? Yeah I'm attractive but I don't feel comfortable in the mirror.

I know I'm pretty. But I have dysphoria. This isn't my body. Y'know?

I think it ties into my disability as well. I can't actively change my body, I can't work out, I can't diet, I can't get surgeries or go on hormones.

I'm stuck.

Stuck with a body that is deteriorating faster than most. Yet I still need to love it so that I can survive just that much longer.

It's definitely a... Task. To love myself despite my dysphoria and my disability, but it's slowly happening. I'm loving the weight on my bones because I know why my body retains the weight. I'm loving my poor joints that struggle to function most days. I'm loving the legs that will never carry me on runs again. That will never jump again.

It's okay.

I'm 22 years old, wheelchair bound, with dysphoria that kicks my ass every time I peek in the mirror. But I can still love and appreciate my body for working the way it does to keep me alive.

I do have pride.

Even if it's hard, I have pride.

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

✨ The space-loving scientist S/O [with a lovely sunshine personality] mysteriously disappeared one night, they're never to be seen ever again, that is until after so many years suddenly a spaceship crashes into a forest near their home in the middle of the night. When skelly comes to investigate, finally... He saw S/O... Injured and large scars all over, on their face and body, ones old and new, they looked so SO exhausted, their body trembles, dark eye bags under their eyes but as S/O stood up, their eyes widens in shock yet light up happily upon seeing skelly. Despite that they were hurt badly, blood dripping and body aching, it was hard to move, although, they couldn't care less at all, the love of their life they've been deeply longing for was in front of them even if so much time has passed, they ran, or at least tried to with the state that they're in, limping and reaching towards skelly sobbing... Skelly allows S/O to hug him, they both fell and broke down, S/O then muttered "My l-love...I-I'm finally home.." and quietly apologizing for everything...

S/O later explains that they were kidnapped by terrible and horrible aliens after accidentally wandering into their territory at night and forced to be their test subject and slave as punishment, spending such a long time being tortured constantly, forced to do terrible things for them and things they didn't want to do, however, S/O persevered, knowing that if S/O gave up and died then only the shitty aliens would win so they tried so hard and fought back that turned the situation into an endless war, surviving through it all, changing the sweet and kind sunshine who dreamt of reaching the stars to a tired soldier... All they ever thought of and dreamt was only to come back home, reuniting with their love...

[Hi!!! I apologize for writing this so long but I just had to tell ever detail because this idea had been stirring inside and rotting my brain with soo much angst! XD]

Undertale Sans - He's horrified. Honestly, he just assumed he did something wrong all these years that made you run away, he could never imagined, well, that. First, he teleports you to the hospital, then he warns Asgore because, uh, that seems like a serious situation a King should know about you know. He's not leaving your side after this, simply holding your hand as you recover. He doesn't know what more he can do to help, but at least, he can listen and be here for you. He won't stop apologizing for not being there when you needed it, even though he can't really go to space so there's not much he could do.

Undertale Papyrus - He's completely in shock. Papyrus assured everyone you were alive and didn't stop looking after you all these years, even though his brother and Undyne told him he was just hurting himself for nothing. Turns out he was right all along and just didn't think to check space, silly him. Welp, that happened. Sometimes everyone thinks you're dead, sometimes you get kidnapped by aliens. That's life. Now that it's over, everyone can turn the page and never leave again because he's now full of insecurities and literally terrified you will never get home when you go get groceries :D But he's fine, he hides it very well (no).

Underswap Sans - Omg. You fought aliens all this time and he was not there to see this. He's jealous, well, not too much of the "I was a lab rat part" but all the other sides. You went into space, and you beat up aliens! Is your spaceship still working? He wants to beat up aliens too! He's glad you're back home, and he won't stop asking questions. He has trouble understanding you need to recover from all this and that talking that much about this traumatizing experience is definitely not helping.

Underswap Papyrus - He breaks down in your arms. He doesn't care what happened, he's just so happy. He got confused after you disappeared, than angry, then sad, then depressed and he was very close from falling down because he couldn't understand why you left. He kept believing, just a little, that maybe you would come home someday, and he's so glad you did eventually. He's horrified when he learns you got basically tortured for years, but he is also in awe about how you managed to go home by yourself. He won't stop crying for a few weeks. He needs to recover as well.

Underfell Sans - He doesn't even know what to say. He grew angry after you, thinking you gave up on him like many before you and that he got tricked into a false feeling of security once again. But now you're back, and apparently, it's all his fault because he didn't think even one second you might have been kidnapped by aliens. He thought about a car accident or something but your car had been found unscathed after a while, he thought of a kidnapping but Edge assured him none of his rivals were in town when it happened, so he just assumed you left. He's not sure how to feel about all of this, he needs some time to think.

Underfell Papyrus - He falls completely silent. He searched for you everywhere. He thought you died somewhere and that he would never see you again. He mourned you. And now you're just... back? He lived the all thing like a giant failure because he wasn't there to protect you and he thought that maybe you got kidnapped and died all alone somewhere. Well, learning you got kidnapped by aliens doesn't help him to feel better, because he felt like it was his role to protect you, and he couldn't prevent this. He's glad you're home, but he is full of insecurities now, wondering if he's the right fit for you if he can't even protect you from something like this.

Horrortale Sans - Oh he was not worried. Willow kept telling him you were gone forever, but he could feel in his soul it was not true and he just kept forgetting you were gone for four years until you actually come back out of nowhere. He's just happy he got his S/O's back, purring like you left the house yesterday. He knew you would come back.

Horrortale Papyrus - Well that's awkward. You landed right next to the tomb he made for you in the forest, right next to Undyne's and Alphys' ones (that was supposed to not exist by the way because Monsterkind refused to give them tombs). Willow just thought it would be nice to have a place to remember you, since there was not really a body to mourn. He's now completely in shock, unsure if you are a ghost or no. Well, there's the spaceship, sure, but, that's a bit unbelievable. He doesn't even know what to say. He's happy, sure, but that doesn't feel real at all for him.

Swapfell Sans - He was really happy to discover you're actually alive and not dead in a ditch somewhere. Well, at least until you tell him you got abducted by aliens. Nox suddenly falls silent, then keeps looking between your face and your stomach. Nah man, that's too much for him. He runs home like the devil is chasing him and locks all the doors and windows. If your stomach needs to explode and deliver some random alien baby that will eat everyone, do it outside. He doesn't want to know. It will take three days to convince him you are in fact not infested with an alien parasite. He still doesn't trust you, but he tolerates you inside lol.

Swapfell Papyrus - Well the Rus you knew is not the same. After you disappeared, he kinda gave up on everything and lost the will to do anything. Instead, you meet with his brother, who is both terrified of you and relieved. When you go to see Rus, he thinks you're a hallucination and completely ignores you, and he will for a good month before realizing you're here to stay and sometime later that you're actually real. Little step by little step.

Fellswap Gold Sans - He's not sure is believing you, despite the spaceship. It's not that he doesn't want to believe you, but it seems too big to believe, and it feels like you're searching for an apology for giving up on him. Wine has trust issues and won't be fully the same anymore, even if he'll forgive you eventually and accept that something crazy actually happened to you. It's just... It still hurts. He struggles to forget the few years without you.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - Unfortunately, Wine finds you first. Wine is NOT happy you abandoned his precious baby brother and before you can even say a word, he attacks you lol. How dare you come back after all these years? Don't you know how much you hurt Coffee? Like hell he's letting you get close again! Eventually, he'll calm down, but not after beating the living hell out of you. First he hits, then he tries to understand. Well, that's very awkward when he realizes he had beaten you for something you're not really responsible for... At least Coffee is happy to see you. He won't let you go ever again. Poor guy is even more scared of being abandoned now.

Special mentions:

Horrorswap Papyrus - He's so relieved you're alright. He never stopped believing you would come home, despite everyone saying it's hopeless. He just knows. When he learns you got tortured for a few years though, he can't stop apologizing for you. The guy quite know the feeling, and he's so sorry you had to experience it as well. At least you two can try to recover together now. He's glad you're home.

Outertale Sans - Ah. First time? That happens. Those aliens are quite curious you know. Maybe next time take a beacon with you so, you know, he doesn't get worried and just knows you're actually just having a party with a random species? Ah, you got tortured? Ah... Uh... He looks at his feet and doesn't dare to meet your eyes again. Yeah, he forgot aliens could do that too.

[milliesfishes]

pleaseeeee do billy with a reader who wants to be a writer/singer/ any type of artist (your choice!!) but her family pushes her to do something more traditional like an engineer or doctor or a lawyer

𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚𝓫𝓲𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓪 𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓮𝓻(𝓶𝓸𝓭𝓮𝓻𝓷 𝓪𝓾)𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝓯𝓮𝓶 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻 𝔁 𝓫𝓲𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓴𝓲𝓭

Your voice was unrivaled in Billy's opinion, rich as a nightingale's smooth as the glassy surface of a lake. He'd spent many an evening in the front row of your performance settings, unable to control his grin as he watched you light up the room with your talent.

It was a slice of heaven. You were radiant when you sang, decorating the space of time with whatever melody lifted your voice. Evidently clear, you were at your happiest when the stage lights were on you, ears perked to take in your song.

As your man, he had special rights when it came to shows, being ushered backstage to meet you as you walked off. You would run to him first always, jumping into his arms with the applause-driven adrenaline fresh in your body. Giggling, you would ask him if he liked it, genuinely wondering. He never lied to you- he had never seen a bad performance by you.

So great was your talent that people with important names and good connections came to scout you, determining whether or not they wanted you on their roster. The answer was nearly always yes- you had a bevy of business cards in your side drawer, just begging to be indulged in. Billy tried to push you into it- he knew it was your dream.

But the disapproving opinions of your family always put an end to any hoping. They supported your talent, recognized that you loved it. But whenever the conversation turned to making a career out of your voice, everything was shot down. The first time it had happened, you'd been starry eyed and hopeful, sure that they would be happy that you'd found the thing you wanted to do most.

Later that night you had called him crying. singing for a paycheck wasn't practical, they said. It was fine to do it for fun or in church, but otherwise you should focus on more serious pursuits. A steady career would do you good. He'd stayed on the line with you for hours, assuring you that it had nothing to do with how good you were. In a misguided way, they were trying to protect you from rejection, from the cruelties that came with being an artist.

Still, you persevered. He was proud of you and how despite objections you continued to perform, earning money in that way along with your day job. Still, you were cautious about contacting any of the agents who approached you gushing after a show.

"The thing is," you told Billy one night in bed, head in his lap after an hour-long performance, eyes closed as he ran his fingers through your hair soothingly. "The chances of me failing are a lot smaller if I use an agency. Even if I have to wait out success, that wouldn't be so bad."

Opening your eyes, you stared up at him, a new kind of determination reflected in you. "I think I'm going to call one of them, Billy. This is what I want to do."

He was quiet for a moment, fingers stilling against your scalp. You seemed to hold your breath, waiting anxiously for his response. Would he reject you like you were used to? You braced yourself for the sting of sharp words.

But instead he leaned down, brushing his lips against your head. One hand framed the side of your face, and he smiled down at you. "If it's what you want, then I'm with you."

Relief crashed over you, and you sat up, arms flying around his neck. "Thank you." He nosed a kiss into your hair, cuddling you close.

"No need to thank me. 's my job ain't it? I'll always be your biggest fan," he murmured, swaying back and forth. "Whatever's up ahead, I've gotcha baby. You're always gonna have me."

[peachyvillian]

I NEED TO KNOW YOUR TRUDY/KELSEY THOUGHTS (if you have any also i'm insane about them uhuhuhhh i need to draw them more-says the guy who drew two applepie pieces in a day)

i am so fucking normal about apple pie (lie) more evilness under the cut

but like. ok these will be mixed and thoughts that are not entirely put together but things i just wholeheartedly enjoy from the small things i picked up.

likei personally. platonic or not platonic at all, really enjoyed the way kelsey, even before finding out she was a robot, was a figure of encouragement when it came to independence??? like fuck me. she is such a supportive person just generally when it comes to her even before any of that came to light .YES she knew your husband was trash trudy , YES she will be filling his role in estimated ~1 minute.

and i really think that something in trudy’s brain fucking!!! explodes when she sees her!!! like kelsey is a figure whos still unmarried (whereas trudy been programmed to only find ‘ solace’ with tucker),and kelseys freedom and spirit is so fucking familiar to her because of og trudy, and it attracts trudy to her so much because trudy sees she can still have this calling and passion (in this case teaching) without the pressures of having to keep up in this picture perfect image of herself and i think trudy is genuinely just. baffled by this idea and completely enamored by it. i just love her journey finding that herself and kelsey being someone to support her through that ok im NORMAL. go A for Awakening

and kelseys fucking “if you were a man, id think about kissing you” or “if you need, you can use my landline to call that number” or her general EVERYTHING in the most recent episode when trying to convince them that trudy was a goddess ??? its okay to say you just wanted to be unnormal over a pretty woman ok. everyone does sometimes(i say gripping the dirt under kamonwan) and i think kelsey just thinks trudy is amazing. i think shes amazed with how much shes persevered and i think she is UNNORMAL about trudy ok. dont think i dont notice MATT ARNOLD.

i have so many thoughts i literally cannot be coherent about because i have so many more like beliefs. and shit about their dynamic. theyre encouraging theyre happy theyre CRAZY. yes kelsey helps fix trudys wires yes she assists her with finding her footing and learning how to drive again like how og trudy fucking loved!!! yes they floor it right into the trout residence and tucker gets ran over specifically (oops) yes kelsey will let her talk about how much of a baddie moth jesus is but then again when is he never. YEAH. SO. YEAH. IM NORMAL ABOUT THEM AND THEYRE NORMAL ABOUT EACHOTHER (mutual pining of a woman who accepted zhuuzel into her heart and one who has flashed her brain to people in her bowling team)

anyway here are songs i think are . nice for this loosely maybe ill make a playlist if im feeling it

[obae-me]

Hi! This is a submission for the practice prompts! For the hurt/comfort trope maybe Mc went to the human world and cant go back to the devildom like in the first game and they called all the brothers and the brothers had it on speaker and throughout their talk mc says i miss you guys and their voice cracks and they start crying and the brothers get emotional and some start crying while others comfort mc and tell them that they’ll see them soon enough.

Also don’t push your self to much! The brain will work when it wants to lol, in the mean time don’t forget to take care of yourself!

Ah, this is such a good idea (and a sad one, poor mc). Thank you for the blurb prompt, and don't worry, we're working on self care this year!

--

Another black mark through another square. The ink from the pen crossed off another day. Physical calendars hadn't always been their thing, but ever since they came back... well... something about marking off the days one-by-one helped ground them. This wasn't a dream. This was real.

Funny, wasn't it? How just one year in the Devildom made that place feel like reality, like home. And now, up in the human world, the place they'd been essentially their entire life, everything felt off.

To make matters worse, Diavolo was limiting contact between them all. Phone calls were getting less frequent, scheduled visits further and further apart. The prince said it was due to humans needing to live their own lives, and the less the realm was disturbed by demons, the better. It was torture.

It was...lonely.

The sound of the phone ringing snapped them out of their thoughts, clicking the pen shut before racing over to where they'd left their device on the kitchen counter.

It was them.

The call was clicked open, a chorus of voices ringing through, almost making MC's ears ring. They chuckled, feeling their heart flutter and break all at the same time. But they persevered, smiling, putting the call on speakerphone and setting the phone back down on the table, sitting in the seat and leaning forward on their elbows.

"MC!"

"Heya!"

"Hi, hun!"

"Yo."

"How are you?"

"It's nice to hear your voice."

"Sleeping okay?"

The words caught in their throat before they managed to speak. "I'm fine. Just...adjusting." Some sharp lump suddenly formed in their throat, warmth pooling from their eyes and dripping down their cheeks silently. "I-" Their voice cracked, every voice on the other line falling into silence. "I miss you so much," they finally finished, the dam on their emotions breaking as their chest began to hitch as they sobbed quietly behind their hands. "Take me home. I want to go home."

Still unresponsive on the other end. But if they listened closely enough, they could've sworn they heard sniffs echo their own. Mammon's voice finally broke through. "H-Hey, none of that, okay?! Whaddya think you're doing, getting all emotional and stuff? This call was supposed to make you happy, yeah? So... stop it, ya hear? No more cryin'..."

A deeper, calmer voice took over. "Mammon is right. Let us not shed tears over something like this. We won't be apart forever."

Another voice hummed in agreement. "That's right. We'll see you soon, MC. Just hold out for a little longer, okay?"

"We can't wait to see you again."

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 28: The Sparks Brothers

I'm not a movie person... So when I do actually rewatch a movie (I mean, even watch it, at ALL, haha) it must really mean that something is up. I mean, well, it also IS a thorough, highly enjoyable and visually appealing movie about a band that I've been so incredibly invested in for the past several months. So maybe it's a surprise that I don't watch it more often actually. Because one beautiful side-effect of seeing it each time was getting an unexpected and very strong surge of motivation to keep on going towards the things that matter to me the most, despite any and all obstacles that could appear on the way. Another side-effect of it is being happy and joyfull and being filled with warm feelings and thoughts for the whole following day at least. Usually up to 3 days afterwards actually.

But ok, of course, what I'm getting at is that the Maels' story is so incredibly inspirational. Seeing how they persevered through all those years and NEVER lost their spirit or their vision, never gave up... is not only moving but also something that reminds me that wow, so much *really* is possible. I spent so many years fully convinced that there are things that I'll never be able to achieve. And sure, some of them are indeed pretty unlikely to happen. But if you told me from even one year ago that I'd be making art daily and not dreading being so much as perceived anywhere in the great world (so, including the internet)... well, I would have not believed it at all. I really mean it when I say that I used to believe that there are things that I'll just never be able to do. It's like it was simply not meant for me to be able do it and have those experiences. And yet...!

There's a lot I owe Sparks and this is one of the biggest things I'll always be grateful for. They really changed my life for the better. Truly nothing else before them reaches the same degree of how much it helped me. And well, I'm saying this on TSB day because this is where this feeling of gratitude and feeling SO lucky becomes the strongest. And the beautiful thing about it all is that they were always just themselves. They had their vision, they knew what they wanted to do and didn't care about how it would be received. Which is such an important and meaningful message to me, I can't even express how huge it is to me to see these two people who only really had themselves and their endurance and got exactly where they wanted to be.

Alright, some less grandiose observations now. Well, let's start with the fact that this was by no means my introduction to Sparks but it still really cemented my love for them even more. I loved being reminded of their whole journey and learning more about it, and even moreso I loved being able to see more of their beautiful brotherly bond and their wonderful personalities. Truly no other people in this whole world make me as happy as them currently. And the brothers' sense of humour hits super close to mine, so this is also a time filled with genuine laughs (I die laughing at the absolutely true Sparks facts at the end EVERY TIME). And since I'm a huge fan of animation and mixed media art and such things, this was simply a joy to view for my more artistically-inclined side too.

And damn, those two hours and 15 minutes really fly by so fast. When I have to arrange a huge timeslot to watch it all in one go, because that's the only way to do it for me, and then it feels like no time has passed anyway. And even with so much being said there, it feels like there's still so much more to get to. But it's still enough to lift my spirits completely for a pretty long time. And to make me cry a lot of the time too... Absolutely impossible to not shed a tear by the end of it all. It's moving, it's funny as heck, it's super fun and it's absolutely beautiful and truly lifechanging. 💖

[moodyseal]

FAV APOLLO / PJO SHIPS GO 💞

OOOO difficult ask! I'm not usually someone who focuses on ships that much so I don't have many favourites (despite giving the opposite, much more intense impression) but there are some that make me particularly. How should I put this. Unwell

1. Apollo/Hyacinthus! I know that it's usually considered a boring ship because we were effectively shown 1% of what Hyacinthus' real personality might've been (Apollo spends more time thinking about his death than about his life doesn't he), but I'm hopeless over these two. I don't know what it is that's doing this to me

Maybe it's Hyacinthus potentially being much less perfect than what the myths present him as (as in stubborn and flawed, not homicidal and deranged and whatnot. Let's leave that to Commodus). Maybe it's Apollo's constant waiting and mourning over someone who will never really return. Maybe it's the love persevering despite it all. Maybe it's the mystery behind this man being so extraordinary that not only Apollo never forgot about him (to the point of still being reactive over any mention of him, as if the grief were still fresh) but also wished to be turned mortal just so he could die and be with him

Like dude who ARE YOU what's the deal with you how did you and this god tie your souls together so tightly that he's not known true happiness ever since you died

2. Apollo/Commodus. I have no good excuse or elaborate analysis for this one I just love drama and watching things burn to the ground. A flawed man who sees the good in everyone he lays his eyes upon VS a flawed man who hasn't got anything good inside him anymore. The desperate attempt to save someone who cannot be saved. Poetic cinema

(I do like to explore scenarios where these two reconcile though, because I do still believe that there's just the tiniest chance that Commodus might've been redeemed) (🤡)

3. Apollo/Naomi, the only (modern) rrverse relationship of his that we know anything about LMAO

I've been drawn to this ship mostly through fanfics but I do enjoy even what little content we have about them in canon. Between the song Naomi composed and Apollo's digressions about her in TOA they seem to still really care about each other, plus I'm quite convinced that he still watches over her because idk about you but the crowds cheering EXACTLY when the song about him comes on is a pretty obvious sign of a blessing to me

I'm actually still writing a fic about them!! Hopefully it'll see the light of day someday but anyway if I'm willingly writing something about a ship you just know that I'm not normal about it in any way shape or form

[m4rs-ex3]

✨ rayllum ✨

whaddya want from me i have to talk about it rn. aaaaaaaaaaaaa🫶🫶🫶🫶 boundaries. trust. FINGERGUNS. they. them. my pronouns are they because i'll never be them. callum is done wasting time being mad and is now devoting all of his time remembering and/or discovering HOW MUCH HE LOVES THIS GIRL UGH 💕💞💖💗💞💕💖💝💝💘💖💓 he is the sweetest fucking thing rn oml he can see now that she will always be there for him and he wants her to know and im normal. aside from the core developments of their relationship omfg we were SERVED. the banter, the softness, the absolute bestie(+) behavior. let's review:

(e1) "practical? like what ; :)" that is the flirtiest fuckin face ive ever seen

"yes. you. uh.. rayla."

"i was lookin for you! uh.. callum." HIS FACEEEE HIS WIDDLE SMILE

"i can see that. let her go." ZERO hesitation. also mad foreshadowing

"she broke into the high mage's office." "no that's crazy. she can go in there any time she wants." UGH i expected a "no that's crazy she would never do that" but he's straight up like 'whats mine is urs bbg" 😭✋

"the elf stole it." oh.. ok his face doesn't look too happy there i wonder if "shes not 'the elf.' she's rayla." OH FUCK ME THEN

"and she was hiding a weapon" "so what? she always is?" IM SCREAMING I LOVE THEM SM

it doesn't even seem that for a second he was perturbed about rayla having the murder weapon, more so that he was looking straight at the murder weapon. she's always been in the clear 🫡

"if she didn't tell me... she has a good reason." THIS. THIS RIGHT HERE. THIS-- iiis getting its own post.

"it means i trust her. unconditionally." brb dying happy

his face when she unchained herself god he loves his non-law-abiding girlfriend

"you don't have to explain or justify anything to me. you can tell me when you're ready :)" what can i even say at this point

(e2) "well i'm glad you liked it :)" kill me now

"and now... here we are," there it is he still sees them as one unit, defying all odds and persevering all circumstances oh me oh my

stargazing obvi

(e3) RAYLA IN CALLUM'S DOODLE. HE DIDN'T HAVE TO ADD HER IN THERE YET THERE SHE IS LOOKING ADORABLE

"she can't stop us." "nobody can >:)" "so we're going to lux aurea right? ; :)" "too right we are >:)>:)>:)>:)"

their chaos <3

(e4) rayllum montage my beloved THAT MUSIC

if you guys have been weird please show me normal

"rayla, we've been through a lot, and a lot has changed, ah- um, well, some things have changed, but not.. everything. uh... i would do anything for you."

i would do anything for you i would do anything for you i would do anything for you i would do anything for you i would do anything for you i would do anything for you i would do anything for you i would do anything for you i would do anything for you i would do anything for you i would do anything for you i would do anything for you i would do anything for you i would do anything for you i would do anything for you i would do anything for you i would do anything for you i would do anything for you i would do anything for you i would do anything for you i would do anything for you i would do anything for you i would do anything for you i would do anything for you i would do anything for you i wo

this is not fucking real what the fuckity fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

they are The standard

i've seen a lot of ships in my day way too many perhaps but no one compares

he's so patient and respectful w her 😭 the way he just gently holds out his hands

she fully emphasized that freeing them wasn't her priority and yet just ZERO hesitation callum saw his girl in distress and dropped everything no second thought required

THE HAND HOLDDDD THAT WAS SO SOFT

HE WAS SO FRICKEN EXCITED TO HELP HER

about to die and only one priority mhm

THUMB RUB THUMB RUB THUMB RUB THUMB RUB THUMB RUB THUMB RUB THUMB RUB

"i waited too long" i am so absolutely insane feral indignant

"i hope you know-" "i know."

bury me

(e5) fist bump. thats it im done im gone oh m !!!!! FIST !!! BUMP !!!!! YOU ABSOLUTE DORKS YOU <3<3<3<3<3

i am weak and the water scene is literally my favorite

he IMMEDIATELY knows shes uncomfy

AND he waits for her

"i don't think i'm comfortable pushing- hey!" "see? i pushed you first! pushing is easy!"

12:06 ish that glance downward tho 👀

the hand snatch of the century. her face. his face. that squeeze. "together." that ttm parallel.

HE HELD HER HAND THE ENTIRE TIME 😭😭😭💗

"-the entire world would be in danger-" IM SORRY BUT HE LOOKED STRAIGHT. AT HER. THAT LOOK KILL ME

"an amulet. or, uh, is it a talisman? what's the difference?" HER SWEET LIL GIGGLE (might just be the last sweet moment i have to report on)

beginning o e7 they're standing together on deck what happened all last night i need to know

her catching him when he collapsed :') and holding him up the rest of the time

"LET HIM GO!"

so e8 🙂

so

e

8

🙂

female rage has nothing on callum.

5 seasons. so many characters. so many losses. we have never seen this much emotion from anyone. i can hardly joke right now but he really embodied "don't you just wanna go apeshit?" i consume so much fucking media and this is new even for me. callum has never even had a temper. through all of this--getting kidnapped, abused, mentally and physically, seeing what his friends are going through--he hasn't broke. and then, seeing his biggest fear, the thing he's been plagued with for years, the thing we've seen him throw away his life to prevent, comes true, and he loses it. the scream, grunt & inhale, the speed, the aggression, the fucking expression. it's not hard to see how what happened next happened, i'm surprised he didn't do worse.

“all that talk about how love makes you stronger, but the second you see that elf girl in pain, you completely lost yourself.” mitski miyawaki kindly carry me out

every threat or demand finnegrin has made and callum has done nothing but scour. he has been as strong as anyone can be. and all of a sudden here he is crying out for mercy, pleading, bargaining, the lowest we've ever seen him. it hurts, but finnegrin was right.

"just... just let her go."

"NO! NO"

his defeat. we know this is because of... literally everything he has ever stood for being demolished. but his personal moral catastrophe aside, don't you find it interesting how he did all of that to keep rayla safe, and yet he never once went to her? i made another post abt this but i'm saying it again: rayla told him not to. and she believed in him. she's safe, but i don't think he thought he really saved her. he doesn't think he deserves anything she's giving him. he refuses to indulge in her, he refuses to confide in her, he refuses to seek her out. but he just saved her life. but that's not enough. not enough to resolve this within himself, and apparently not enough for the girl who's life he has saved twice now, who has stuck by him for years, who has dedicated everything to him, to be able to be okay with it. and he just kind of... accepts it. he doesn't beg for forgiveness, that being said he doesn't tell her either. this may seem like he's protecting himself, that he really just doesn't want to lose her, that he doesn't want to face this at all, but maybe it's him not wanting to disappoint her. yknow i really hate to be one of those people who ignores how basically all of callum's character surrounds his own internal conflict in favor of rayllum fan service, but fuck it's hard no to sometimes. he wants to be her hero, but he isn't; not to himself, anyway. this would always be the case. and yet... he did it all anyway. if that isn't unconditional, i'm jumping off a bridge.

no matter who he's protecting he is still being so strong for her

"yeah. yeah, i'm okay. i am." no, that obviously wasn't the truth. but for a "horrible liar," he sure appeared at least a little bit better. at the end of the day, the end of the battle, rayla's okay. and that always seems to help.

face touch 🩷

that hug man. her deep sigh. his shame melting into unavoidable comfort. him letting go despite all his better judgement. also it was cute. homicidal. but cute.

THE OTHER WATER SCENE IM STARTING TO THINK I HAVE A TYPE

the "eyes on me" thing AUUUHGHHGHGHGHGH

"i-i'm getting out" 👏ZERO👏HES👏ITATION👏 AND THE THING THAT MADE HIM BREAK WAS THE FEAR/SADNESS IN HER VOICE. LIKE AT FIRST HE WAS JUS LIKE "U GOOD?" BUT THEN HE SAW HOW UPSET SHE WAS AND WAS ALL "FUCK THE FATE OF THE WORLD IM GIVING YOU A HUG"

the squad reunion post-claudia when rayla gives callum's arm an extra little squeeze 😭

the ending handhold 🫶 thereee'ssss my little married couple

welp i would say it's been fun but it's been more so absolutely excruciating so. it has been.

if i still had feelings i would be so happy <3