#but I'm on the aro spectrum

[themythecho]

Some stuff me and my friend said over DMs while we were talking about love:

"because in the end, I don't need a missing piece. I'm not a puzzel to be solved, I'm a rubix cube, trying to get all my colors into place"

"romantic love to me isn't about kissing or touch, its just about feeling safe with them because they're willing to help me help myself and vise versa"

"I feel like to me, romance is just its not fireworks, its calm, its gentle. Like a sea. its patience, it fluctuates, the ocean is very interesting. It's beautiful and still. Yet rough and loud. You never know what happens next, and still, something draws you towards it. Most of the ocean is undiscovered, but it has this interesting light to it, that draws people to it"

Anyway that's a take from my friend and me

[jupiter-nwn]

yeag

[batri-jopa]

I love my life highly satisfied just being myself

(Check the OTHER VERSION too✌️)

[retropineapple]

We should get aromantic to #1 on trending today or at least one day by the end of the year.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

shaved heads are so sexy. i can invite you into my living space and you won't shed hair everywhere, baby that's hot

[jess-frances-b]

It would be appreciated if you reblogged this to help spread it around.

[marsti]

Hello and happy 10th Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week to all from your local robot! Be aware of me.

[shmaroace]

i love you trans aros i love you nonbinary aros i love you genderqueer aros i love you intersex aros i love you agender aros

[genderfluidblob]

Since it's pride month, here's a thought: LOVE IS LOVE DOESN'T MEAN ONLY ROMANTIC/SEXUAL LOVE. It can be love for your family, your friends, your teachers, your pets, your enemies It can be love for a fandom, a fixation, a hobby! Music, Colour, Animal, Studies, Work, Yourself, Trees, Games, Stories, Books, Shows, ANYTHING! Ace, Aro and AroAce people are valid and they do experience love too, and that is so valid and is also love. Just because it's different, doesn't mean it's not real love.

[juthemagicalclown]

i think we as whole have a huge problem with the misuse of the word 'platonic'

'platonic' is not a synonym for 'friendship' or 'deep friendship', platonic' and 'romantic' are not mutually exclusive

'platonic' means non-sexual, which means a relationship could be romantic and platonic

love is much more nuanced than you make it to be

[keekeenuggets]

People act like shipping Alastor with anyone is a crime when like. There are literally aroace people who date/have relationships/have sex/etc. It may not be the majority, but there's nothing wrong with it. So like, people can ship what they want, just chill lmfao

[macandcheese-inhaler]

Completely random but like, my friend keeps telling me he ACTUALLY likes my existence and it’s so eye opening. Without realizing, I got stuck in the mindset of “He must think it's like a chore to interact with me.” I think it’s just my old habits (self confidence issues and lack of a sense of self) baring their teeth for the first time in a hot minute, but it’s so hard for me to grasp the concept of “Hey, this person you like, likes and respects you too!”

There used to be a prominent running joke throughout my friend group where they’d often call me annoying, act like they could barely stand me, and/or make fun of me for being too “child-like”. (Which, I do have the energy and interests of a child, but my personality led to them viewing me as incapable and it got old quick. Basically they were infantilizing me.) It’s been about 2½ years since then and it’s a little crazy to think about how I still expect everyone to treat me like that. I’ve been scared to form new friendships b/c of how much that time affected me. I mean, apparently I’m still not entirely healed from it.

But, I’ve been friends with this guy for almost a year now. He has never ONCE suggested that he didn’t like me. Yet I’m still over here trying to convince myself that this guy cannot stand me?? In fact, I recently found out that he REALLY wanted to make sure we’d stay friends once summer break started. (Before that point we only ever spoke to each other in one of our classes) That is INASE to me. Like, wdym you enjoyed my presence enough to ACTIVELY plan out how you’d make sure we frequently spoke to each other? And even CRAZIER he’s told me he OFTEN looked forward to talking to me at school last year and said that I helped him get through the day. Like, WHAT?

He’ll even send me good morning texts sometimes and it's so reassuring. They’re practically just (unintentional) reminders saying “Hey remember, I think you’re cool!” I hope he knows I appreciate him so much. It’ll take me a long time to ever admit, but I hope he knows he’s made my life feel like it’s worth living again. He’s made me realize I’ve been simply coasting and not LIVING for too long. I hope he knows whenever I’m in a bad mood I’ll actively go out of my way to be in his presence just a little longer, even if it’s just 20 extra seconds, just b/c he’s comforting. I hope he knows how much every gift he gives me means to me, no matter how much I struggle to accept them. I hope he knows he gave me the final push I needed to finally accept my sexuality. I hope he knows how happy I am when he lets me yap about whatever I feel like at the time. I hope he knows I feel like I'm actually listened to whenever I'm speaking to him. It feels like I can be myself around him and not have to worry. And I’m almost certain I’ve weirded him out on several occasions, but in the end that does not matter. Those moments don’t change how he sees me. And I hope he knows how much that genuinely means to me.

[toastedjeans]

This was originally meant to be just platonic but i couldn't help myself so.. here you go, pepstavo enjoyers

Tw for blood and injuries

It was finally done. That wretched tower was no more, and everyone had made it out alive, without sustaining any significant injuries. Well, at least not during their escape. The battle atop the tower had left everyone a little battered and bruised, some moreso than others. Nonetheless, nobody was lethally wounded.

Peppino, Gustavo and Brick made their way back to the pizzeria, with the smaller one riding atop his newly acquired giant rat, while the other insisted on walking back. Even after he was offered to be carried on the rodent's back, he refused, claiming that he was alright, despite his limping and pained expression he tried to hide. He had ran and fought the whole day, had been burned, struck by lightning, squashed into pizza boxes, stuffed in barrels and rolled around, and much, much more. Multiple times. All the while breaking through countless lines of enemies under immense time constraints. He was utterly exhausted, but wouldn't let himself show any weakness. He didn't need anyone's pity, nor their mockery.

When the establishment came closer into view, Peppino stopped for a second, almost stumbling over in shock. A bit of debris from the tower had seemingly been thrown all the way over here, hitting a part of his beloved restaurant and leaving behind a huge hole in the wall. Broken glass and wood was strewn about on the floor, dust and small rocks all over the place. He couldn't believe his eyes. As much as the sight devastated him, it made him significantly more furious. The whole point of bringing that tower down was to save his pizzeria from destruction, and now part of it had been destroyed anyway. It didn't even matter in the end. He would love nothing more in this moment than to find Pizzahead, just so he could kick his face in once more until he was fully unrecognizable.

Gustavo turned to look at his friend, noticing his sour expression as he stood at the broken wall, leaning against it. He could only assume what must be going through his head at the moment. After all, he knew how much the pizzeria meant to his friend.

Hopping off of his trusty steed, the small man made his way over to the other.

"Are you okay, Pep?"

Peppino's hands formed into tight fists, his jaw clenched, but then he simply sighed. It wasn't worth it to get worked up about this now. As he looked at the chaotic state his establishment was in, he quietly stepped inside, his aching leg making itself apparent again. He forcefully shut one eye, a small tear threatening to fall down his face, which he wiped away with his arm.

Gustavo followed his friend inside, a worried look on his face as he watched him, painfully slowly, bending down to pick up a few broken off pieces of a table. He wasn't going to do what he thought he would, was he?

Peppino winced as he struggled to get up again, holding his hand against his back in an attempt to stabilize himself. He ignored the pain spreading throughout his whole body, making his way over to the counter and placing the debris he gathered on it. His friend approached slowly, with Brick close by, sniffing around the wreckage in hopes of finding something to nibble on. He let out a short sneeze.

Gustavo watched as his fellow chef went to fetch a broom from the nearby closet, already sweeping up the floor. Or, at least as much as his aching body would let him.

"Peppino, come on", he started, "I know how much you love your pizzeria, but don't you wanna take a break first?" His voice was quiet and gentle, yet a little firm.

He shook his head, letting out a sigh, "I can't, Gus. You know I can't." He didn't even look at his friend, trying to push past him. "I have to fix all this", he gestured into the room, "and the debts aren't gonna pay themselves."

Gustavo sighed as he watched his friend struggle to move, his limping seemingly getting worse. He knew how stubborn he could get, something that sometimes could be a blessing, but it was mostly a curse.

"Of course they aren't, but-"

Just then, Peppino's leg gave in, and he fell to his knees, letting out a strained grunt. The other man quickly rushed to his side, carefully placing his hands on both his shoulders.

"You need to take care of yourself first."

Finally, he brought himself to look at the smaller one, exhaustion clearly evident in his eyes. His body trembled lightly, slowly losing more and more strength and energy.

"And if you aren't doing well", Gustavo continued, retreating his arms, "the pizzeria is gonna suffer from it. You know that."

But Peppino was persistent. With shaking hands, he pushed his friend aside once more, trying to stand up again. He couldn't give in just yet, not in front of Gustavo. He was supposed to be the strong one, the one in charge. What would he think of him if he just let himself show how weak he actually was? Not that he cared too much about what his friend thought of him, or at least he didn't admit that he did. The only thing he didn't want was to disappoint him, destroy this image of himself for him. He couldn't risk Gustavo seeing who and what he truly was, or at least to what extent. He was pathetic, an anxious wreck.

Of course, the other knew him well, flaws, insecurities and all. But sometimes, he couldn't help but worry that the only person he truly cared about would leave him behind after witnessing him in a state of vulnerability. Just like everybody else in his past would.

"This is all I have, Gustavo", he managed to push out, "I've handled that damn tower, I can handle a measly hole in the wall."

Gustavo's face fell, knowing how much he tended to push himself to the brink of his limits. Whether it was to ensure every customer's satisfaction, or to meet deadlines, he always tried to give his all, and even more. And if anything didn't meet his self-imposed high standards, it wasn't good enough. He wasn't good enough. Everything had to be perfect. And by extension, he had to be perfect. It was no wonder the man was chronically stressed.

When Peppino managed to stand up again, his body was shaking even harder than before. Preparing to take a step, he sharply inhaled and threatened to fall to the ground again, if Gustavo hadn't immediately reacted and caught him. Despite his small stature, he firmly held onto the taller one's body with ease, clicking his tongue to get his pet's attention. The rat looked up from the rubble, a small piece of cheese in its mouth, before trotting over to the two men with an affirmative squeak.

"Look, I know you could handle it.", he said as he laid his friend down onto Brick's back, who let out a quick huff, not used to carrying this much weight.

"If this was any other day, it would be fine. But look at you, you can barely even stand."

"Stop patronizing me." Peppino grumbled quietly, turning his head away from his friend in shame. He hated being this vulnerable, this weak.

Gustavo exhaled quietly, patting Brick's side to signal that they were going to leave, and started walking beside his furry companion. Despite them only knowing each other since the beginning of this whole tower debacle, they perfectly understood the other, as if they'd been a team for years. Like a loyal dog, the abnormally large rodent stayed by his side, following him to wherever he would lead them.

"I'm not patronizing you. You're my friend, Peppino. I care about you."

His friend was quiet for a few moments, still averting his eyes. He only muttered a few weak protests in response, which the other didn't quite catch. But perhaps that had been for the best. A continued argument would just wear them out even more, and he didn't want things to become heated between them. Especially not when they both desperately needed rest.

---

The front door opened, and the group of three stepped into the cozy little apartment. Gustavo was lucky his landlord didn't see them walk in, he did not have the capacity to argue about the presence of an enormous rat in his living quarters right now. Having pets wasn't allowed, much less a rodent of this size. Hopefully he could persuade them that it was his new service animal or something similar.

Brick cautiously sniffed around the room, making himself familiar with the new place. He walked over to the small couch in the middle of the living room, plopping down in front of it, as if trying to hint at something. The man who still lay atop his back let out a short grunt at the sudden stop.

After locking the door and getting a few supplies, Gustavo quickly joined his visitors, helping his friend relocate from one surface to the other. As warm and fuzzy as Brick was, it was finally nice to sit on something that wasn't living and breathing. At least the couch wouldn't complain about his weight. Verbally, that is.

Peppino's eyelids twitched when Gustavo lifted his arm to examine it. There were only minor cuts and bruises, nothing too severe that needed immediate medical attention. Still, the touch stung a bit. When he moved on down to his hand, carefully hovering over his knuckles, Peppino could feel his cheeks warm up a little. He instinctively pulled his arm back to his side, avoiding the other's gaze once more while pouting. His friend just looked at him with a mix of confusion and slight disappointment, before releasing a quiet sigh. He was fully aware of his friend's aversion to touch, especially his hands and face. And of course he didn't want to push things or make him uncomfortable, but it would certainly make it harder to check for injuries, let alone tend to them. Then again, he could have asked before touching him.

"Pino?" Gustavo's voice was quiet, and he patiently waited for his friend to look back at him. Sure enough, Peppino's head turned ever so slightly, ever so slowly, until their eyes finally met. As was so often the case, his brow was furrowed in general unease. It wasn't that he was uncomfortable in the other man's presence, far from it. He just hated being seen in the state he was in at the moment.

"Would you let me take a look at your leg?", the other finally asked, to which he crossed his arms in protest, huffing for further emphasis.

"It's fine! You're just wasting your time!" Even if the volume of his voice returned momentarily, he wasn't able to hide the way it sounded so strained. Yes, it hurt, his whole body did, but he would get through it. He had to.

Gustavo's expression fell a little, but he didn't want to give up just yet. It could be something serious, after all.

"At least show it to me. Please."

The bigger man hesitated, wringing his hands together. The concern in his friend's small eyes made his stubbornness waver little by little, and he finally released a breath he had been holding in. With slow and careful movements, he removed his boots and placed them next to the couch. Rolling up his pant leg, he sucked in a quick breath as the fabric brushed against his skin, slowly revealing what he had hidden from his best friend.

The cut on his lower leg was deep, the blood around it half dried. A thin crust had already formed on the sides. How he had gotten such a nasty wound without his pants ripping was beyond him, but at least the fabric seemed to have stopped the blood flow well enough. Fresh red liquid started to spill out of the gash once more, slowly running down Peppino's leg, which had begun to tremble.

Gustavo's eyes widened, his pulse quickened. He couldn't let his friend suffer with a wound like that. Something had to be done, and he would be the one to do it.

Without a word, he stood up from the couch to get some warm water, took some supplies, and sat down on the floor next to his friend. He gave the other man a hesitant look as he reached out to place his shaking hand on his knee. Peppino's brow furrowed with guilt and embarrassment, and even if the feeling of Gustavo's skin on his made his throat narrow and his chest heavy, he slowly gave him a short nod, allowing him to tend to his wounds.

Gustavo's hands were slow and gentle as he cleaned the big cut. The warm water felt nice on Peppino's skin, even if everything else was unpleasant and stung, making him wince in pain. Every so often, his friend would retreat his arms and glance up to check on him, to make sure he's as comfortable as he could be in a situation like this. He would give him an apologetic look before continuing to treat his injury, right before he did something he knew would be a little more painful. Brick had positioned himself on the couch, right next to the injured man, occasionally nudging his hand with his snout and offering comfort and distraction. Peppino was still wary about the huge rodent, but soon enough he found himself scratching Brick behind his ears and patting his back, while his best friend continued to tend to him. As much as he didn't like rats, this particular one seemed to slowly grow on him.

Peppino would never admit it, but it felt surprisingly nice to be taken care of for once. Usually he did everything by himself, very rarely accepting help from others. It wasn't that he didn't trust anyone else or that he was selfish. Although, sometimes he could be. But most of the time, he didn't want to burden anyone. Especially not people he was close with.

Gustavo was a dear friend to him, maybe even his only friend, always by his side, always supporting him. Even now, after he hadn't been honest with him, he continued to care for him, continued to stay with him. He just... couldn't understand why. Why would he continue to be his friend, when all he did was weigh him down, hold him back, burden him with his problems?

His face fell. He continued to pet the rat's soft fur, lost in thought. He didn't deserve to be treated with such patience and compassion. Why would he? All he did was complain and whine about his debt, and hide behind his constant anxiety. He wasn't good for anything.

And yet. The way Gustavo took care of him, the way he kept glancing back at him to ensure his comfort, the way his gentle hands felt against his skin. It felt strange, yet nice. Unfamiliar, yet warm and inviting. It made his skin crawl and his chest flutter, and it left him craving more. More of his touch, more of his warmth, more of his proximity. It made him feel lighter, more at ease, something he didn't even know he could feel like.

Gustavo's work was nearly done, he just finished wrapping the leg in bandages, careful to apply just enough, but not too much pressure. After all, he didn't want his friend and coworker to endure even more pain than he already did. He let out a sigh, his own exhaustion slowly catching up to him, and glanced up to Peppino. His cheeks seemed flushed, but it was hard to tell in the dim light of dusk. He wore a melancholic expression on his face, his eyes focused on the animal next to him, not quite realizing his treatment was over yet. As they wandered over and met with Gustavo's, the man's face remained still for a second, then flushed deeper, and he cleared his throat while turning his head away.

"I- uh... Thanks. For that..." Peppino managed to stutter, his voice barely audible. His face was still turned away, and he had crossed his arms over his chest, but his shoulders were hunched forward, as if he wanted to make himself smaller. His uninjured leg bounced with nervousness as Gustavo stood up from the ground and gave him a smile and a light chuckle, preparing to move Peppino's boots towards the front door. His friend held himself a little tighter, rubbing his arms as if he was cold. He still felt the lingering warmth of Gustavo's touch, or perhaps it was just the blood flowing through his leg, or the applied bandages. Either way, he couldn't help but yearn for more of this feeling, more of these sensations. More of Gustavo.

He shook his head. Ridiculous. He was a grown man, damn it! How could the closeness to another human being make him so... weak? It was ridiculous. He was ridiculous.

Gustavo returned to the other man's side with a big blanket and several pillows under his arms. He placed the biggest pillow on one side of the couch, fluffing it up for good measure, but stopped in his tracks when he noticed Peppino intently watching him, his arms held up to his chest.

"Are you okay with sleeping on the couch? I mean, I can lend you my bed too if-"

"N-no, I'm fine! It's. It's fine, I can- I can sleep here. No worries!" He waved his hands in front of himself, then formed an O-shape with his finger and thumb, forcing a nervous grin. Gustavo just smiled as he held back a giggle, his friend reminding him of the logo on his own pizza boxes. He sure could be cute when he was flustered.

After a moment of awkward silence, they both settled into their respective beds. Peppino finally managed to lay down, his leg cushioned by small, yet surprisingly soft pillows. The couch itself wasn't the most comfortable, but it beat the old and worn down mattress he usually slept on by miles. The blanket was so thick and warm, and it smelled so fresh too. This was certainly different, and a huge upgrade compared to his normal sleeping situation. He already wasn't sure if he would even be able to go back to his own bed after spending a night here. Or several nights. Or however long it took until he could walk without falling flat on his face. He hoped it wasn't too long. After all, he didn't want to take advantage of Gustavo's hospitality like this. It just didn't feel right.

"Oh, and Pino?", his host's voice nearly made him jump, he turned his head towards where it came from, "If you need anything... I'm right here. My door is open for you, okay?"

Peppino hesitated, then nodded and gave back a quick hum in agreement. He watched as Gustavo smiled at him, slowly turning around and disappearing into his own room again, and he sighed. He held his hand up to his face, forming it into a fist a few times, then brushed his thumb against his index finger. His brow furrowed once again. Why did it feel so nice when it was his touch, yet so... normal, almost dull when it was his own? Why was his smile so contagious, his laugh so magical? And why didn't he notice it until now? Has it always been that way, and he just didn't pay enough attention to him before? Should he tell Gustavo how he made him feel, or would he be mad at him, or even worse, disgusted or weirded out by him?

He felt a small nudge against his elbow, followed by a short sneeze. It was already dark, but he could still easily recognize Brick's face staring up at him from the floor, his big eyes focused on him. Peppino let out a slightly annoyed sigh, letting his fingers wander through the rat's warm fur. A delighted squeak escaped the rodent, and the man reluctantly continued to pet it, his previous thoughts pushed to the back of his mind, momentarily forgotten.

He'd have time to figure things out in the morning as well. The exhaustion finally caught up to him. For now he could rest.

[bloomshroomz]

Aromantic*

(Alternate Title: Shrödinger’s Romantic)

I keep wondering if “aromantic” is really a good word to describe my romantic orientation. I have plenty of reasons for why it is, but also plenty of reasons for why it might not be. Shrödinger’s romantic.

In order to know whether you experience romantic attraction or not, you first have to have a solid definition of what romantic attraction is. A definition which is clear, and also distinct from other forms of emotional attraction. I don’t think such a definition exists, or at least, it’s not commonplace.

“Romantic attraction: attraction that makes people desire romantic contact or interaction with another person or persons.” - UNC Chapel Hill LGBT Center

But what is romantic contact or interaction? Is it contact which is culturally considered romantic? In that case, the ways in which romantic attraction is defined would vary by culture, and even by gender. Or is it contact which one intends to be romantic? That would make sense, but is incredibly subjective. How do you know where to draw the line? What if you haven’t drawn one?

“[Romantic attraction] involves a combination of physical, sexual, and emotional feelings toward someone.” - WebMD

This definition is ridiculously vague, especially for a page which defines multiple other types of attraction in relation to romance. What physical feelings? What sexual feelings? What emotional feelings? What about alloromantic asexual people, or other varioriented people, who don’t necessarily experience sexual feelings as part of their romantic feelings?

But the article also defines aromanticism as “when you don’t have any desire for a romantic relationship,” so I can’t count on it for accuracy regardless.

“Romantic attraction is the internal pull that you experience when you are with someone with whom you internally feel connected, comfortable and interested in spending more of your life with.” - Choosing Therapy

Do people not feel connected to their friends? Do people not feel comfortable with their friends? Are people not interested in spending more of their life with their friends? Why else would people find time to connect with their friends, to confide in them, to engage with them? What about these feelings is distinctly romantic?

The article goes on to say this:

“Romantic relationships are relationships intentionally initiated and maintained for experiencing sexual and romantic feelings together, whereas platonic relationships are usually centered on another purpose like hobbies, friendship, support, work, etc. Romantic relationships can also include these purposes as well, but the platonic relationship excludes the romance and sexual feelings.” - Choosing Therapy

I ask again, what about alloaces and other varioriented people? What about people who have sex with their friends? Even when it’s taboo, it’s not unheard of. The distinction can’t be sex, so it has to be romance. So, what is romance?

Later in the article, it defines romance once again:

“Romantic attraction: The internal pull that draws your attention to the other person’s positive qualities, and your internal reaction to connect, love, share and spend time with them to have more romance.” - Choosing Therapy

I feel like I’m running in circles here. People draw their attention to the positive qualities of not just romantic interests, but to friends, family, and other people with whom they’d have no romantic interest. Connection, love, and spent time are not exclusive to romance either. If the goal is to have more romance… What is that?

Every answer I find fails to say what romance is on its own. The definitions always rely on presence or absence of sex, or other things which can just as easily be present in platonic or otherwise non-romantic contexts. Romantic attraction is consistently defined by things which are not distinctly romantic.

Is it even a real thing? I mean, I feel like it’s clearly not, but it’s also clearly very real to most people. Most people don’t think about it this hard. It’s like they were given a manual that I can never possess. It comes naturally to them. They feel romantic attraction, and they know, intuitively, that that’s what it is.

Is my lack of intuition evidence that I don’t experience romantic attraction, or am I just autistic? Maybe it’s both. When I described to my aunts my emotional attraction, they described my way of experiencing and perceiving attraction as very “intellectual,” which I initially rejected. But I think they were right. I lack the intuition to understand my feelings in any way that doesn’t involve a literal or metaphorical chart. It’s something I can’t just feel and then know like other people do.

Is romantic attraction always a “you’ll know it when you feel it” sort of thing? It seems like it. Even when I search “romantic attraction” on Google, many results either come from queer Fandom Wiki pages, discussions amongst a-spec people, Reddit, or Quora. Some results aren’t even relevant to the question, including multiple results which just describe what “aromantic” means. The opposite of what I intended to search for.

The thing is, I do have feelings which would likely be perceived as romantic to most people. I have a deep desire for commitment and companionship. To touch and be touched. To love and be loved. To be emotionally and physically intimate with other people. To feel the warmth of other people as we lay in bed together. To live out our mundane lives together. Things that most people would find incredibly romantic.

But are these things romantic if I don’t explicitly intend for them to be? Is it romantic for me to be open to it being romantic, without actively wanting that?

When I’ve described my feelings online, I’ve gotten mixed responses from other people, but I’ve generally been given similar advice from different strangers, and similar labels thrown at me, even when I hadn’t asked for advice or labels.

“I think you’d enjoy a queerplatonic relationship.”

“You might be cupioromantic.”

“You might be bellusromantic.”

And I can understand where they’re coming from. I don’t think they’re entirely wrong, either. I would enjoy a queerplatonic relationship… But not for any reason that wouldn’t apply to other committed relationship types. Queerplatonic relationships, platonic relationships, romantic relationships, and whatever else there is are the same to me in all but label.

Cupioromanticism is something I have considered. I made the flag for it when I was 15 years old as well (yes, the peach one with five stripes; I always asked to be credited anonymously), so I’m biased towards liking the flag. But the definition is “being aromantic, and also wanting a romantic relationship.”

I don’t specifically want a romantic relationship, but I do want committed relationships in general, and romantic relationships are included in that. So, maybe?

Bellusromantic is something I have also considered, and it also has a pretty flag. But I think it’s less accurate than cupioromantic. The definition is “being aromantic, and enjoying traditionally romantic things, but not wanting a romantic relationship (or not wanting a committed relationship, depending on the definition used).”

I do enjoy traditionally romantic things in a way which is not explicitly romantic, and I don’t explicitly want a romantic relationship. But I’m not opposed to romantic relationships, and I do explicitly want committed relationships.

I took some aro-spec tests, and my results had a tendency to skew towards cupioromantic, bellusromantic, and quoiromantic. Quoiromantic is another orientation which I have considered, and it might be the most accurate.

Quoiromantic is also aptly known as “whatromantic” or “WTFromantic” because the defining trait is that romantic attraction as a concept doesn’t make sense to you.

“[Quoiromantic], also known as [whatromantic] or [WTFromantic], is a [romantic] orientation defined by confusion, vagueness, and/or obscurity. A [quoiromantic] person may not understand or relate to the concepts of [romantic] attraction and/or [romantic] orientation. [Quoiromanticism] may involve confusion related to what [romance] is, whether or not one experiences [romantic attraction], and how to differentiate it from other forms of attraction. [Quoiromanticism] can also feel blurry and unclear, and may center around general confusion around one's identity and attraction. It can also refer to a lack of identification with [romantic] orientation as a concept, and can additionally serve as a label for people who cannot fit into more specific identities. [Quoiromanticism] can also refer to when one does not experience [romantic] attraction in a "traditional" manner. It is sometimes used as a catch-all term for people who know they're somewhere on the [aromantic] spectrum, but aren't sure where.” - An LGBTQIA+ Wiki (originally about quoisexuality; I changed some words.)

In a similar vein, pomoromantic (“pomo” being literally taken from “postmodern”) would also fit. My romantic orientation exists from a post-romantic perspective, where romance is understood to be made up bogus which isn’t actually fundamentally different from any other form of emotional connection.

“[Pomoromanticism] is defined as refusing, avoiding, or not fitting any [romantic] orientation label in terms of conventional labels or classifications, such as gay, lesbian, [biromantic], or [aromantic]. It challenges categorizations in favor of largely unmapped possibility and the intense charge that comes with transgression. Some [pomoromantic] people may be queer or questioning, and others may not be.” - Another LGBTQIA+ Wiki (originally about pomosexuality; I changed some words.)

But at that point, is it even worth labeling my romantic orientation? Should I just be bisexual/omnisexual? Maybe with a little asterisk at the end? Does any of this matter? Am I thinking too much? (I am.)

I think that continuing to identify as aromantic will probably close me off to potential relationships. I feel like the word gives people the wrong idea. At the same time, the way that I think about romance is fundamentally different than the way other people tend to, and I do consider my aromanticism to be a notable part of who I am and how I experience the world. Maybe I should just send this to whoever ends up being a potential partner. Probably more useful than any label.

[neptune-scythe]

The aroace urge to somehow make sure every fucking person knows that I'm aroace so they don't flirt with me or think that I'm flirting with them or try to date me or any of that

Legitimately worried every day my co workers are going to get the WORNG impression

[theonceandfuturequeenoftarts]

So. To anyone who reads VII/A long, hard road, I'm looking for opinions.

Would you be disappointed if there was a spicy chapter?