#but I'm not going to let the hurt I've received push me to a point of generalized ignorance etc.

[azrielstaylorsversion]

Brotherly support

Azriel x reader (x Rhysand sibling)

Y/N needs her big brother and tells him the good news she has just received.

My feet carry me to Rhys's office. I hadn't even been aware of it until I was standing in front of his door.

He was still in there, since the lights are on and I know about the loads of work he has to do.

Azriel was currently on a mission. He would be gone until at least tomorrow morning. But I couldn't wait.

I knock twice, waiting for my brother to let me in.

"Come in." he says.

I carefully open the door, finding him behind his desk with only a tiny bit of paperwork left.

His face immediately lightens up when he sees me, a tired smile on his face.

I smile back, trying to hide the nervousness. "I see you're almost done." I point out, walking over the chair on the other side of his desk, right in front of him.

"Yes. Well, this could've waited until tomorrow, but I would rather have it done right now." he tells me, looking me over.

I try and speak, but he cuts me off. "What's wrong?" he asks gently.

I try to brush it off. Did I even want to tell him? "Nothing is wrong. I just wanted to see you." I try.

He stares at me for a few seconds. "You don't have to worry about him you know?"

"Oh-. No that isn't... No that isn't the problem. I know I'll see him tomorrow." I tell him, looking at my hands.

"So there is a problem?" he says. "What is it? Did something happen? Are you hurt? Is there something with Az?" worry takes over his voice.

My eyes go wide. "No. No, I'm not hurt. And no Azriel has nothing to do with... this." I say. "Well he has something to do with it, but not right now--" I start spitting out my words nervously.

I suddenly stand. "You know what, I should go. I'll see you tomorrow." I turn to walk away, but Rhys is already standing in front of me.

He takes my hands in his. "Just sit down and tell me what's wrong. You're worrying me." he tells me gently. "Please?"

I feel tears welling in my eyes, but I quickly swallow them back. I know Rhys can see I'm getting emotional. He knows me way too well.

I nod. "Okay." I sit down again. Rhys moves behind his desk and sits down as well.

He looks at me, waiting for me to speak, but he doesn't push.

"So, I've been experiencing some.. sickness for the last two weeks. And I tried to hide it, but it's gotten ten times worse over the last few days."

Rhys's comforting face shifts with worry. "You've never been sick. Are you alright?"

I take a deep breath before speaking. "Well, I went to see Madja about two hours ago, just as she was about to close for the day. And-" I say, looking everywhere but my brother's eyes. "well, I got the news I had expected. But since Az is gone I needed to see you. And I don't know what to do or how to tell him. What if he leaves me? I don't want him to do that." I start talking way too fast for my own brain to follow.

Rhys stops me. "What news did you expect?"

I finally look at him. Of course I had forgotten to tell him that part. "I'm pregnant Rhys."

I had never seen Rhys like this. I couldn't tell if he was angry or happy or sad.

"And you're happy with it?" he asks.

I nod carefully.

He stands and walks over to me, pulling me up into a big warm hug. "Then I am happy too." he says, hugger me tightly.

He releases me from the hug, "Why are you crying?" I hadn't even noticed I was crying.

I laugh, wiping the tears away. "Too many emotions."

He holds my hand. "Az doesn't know?"

I shake my head.

"Do you want me to ask him to come home right now?" he asks.

I shake my head again. "It's only a few more hours. I'll tell him tomorrow." I smile at my brother.

He puts a hand on my back, leading me out of the room. "Why don't we have a sibling evening."

I chuckle. "But it's already midnight."

"So?"

A rough warm hand caresses my cheek. I groan as light fills my vision.

"Hey." a gentle deep voice says. My favorite voice in the world.

I keep my eyes closed, but my arms open for my mate.

He chuckles and carefully lays down next to me, taking me into his arms instead.

"When did you get back?" I ask him while wrapping my arms around his body.

"A few minutes ago." he tells me. "I went to give a report to Rhys, but he told me to see you first."

My eyes shoot open, remembering yesterday.

"Is everything okay?" he asks, putting his hand on my cheek again. He must've felt my panic.

I look up at him for a few seconds. "Yes. But there is something you need to know."

He looks at me with curiosity. "Well, what is it? You're kind of confusing me."

I sit up. "So you know I've been a bit sick." I say.

"Well that doesn't sound very comforting. But yes, I know."

I snort. "Well, it turns out to be a good kind of sick."

He raises his eyebrows. "Good?" I can see him think, giving him a few more seconds to figure it out himself.

I can see the exact moment he realizes. His face turns into shock and excitement. "Are you..?"

I nod, feeling myself get emotional. "Yes I am."

Azriel laughs and throws his arms around me, hugging me tightly. "I can't believe it."

I hug him back. This was the reaction I had hoped for. Tears fall down my face and a sob leaves my mouth.

Azriel pulls away from me to look at my face. "Hey what's wrong? This is happy news right?"

"Happy tears." I sob again. "I don't know why I'm so emotional."

He wipes my tears away with his thumbs. "We're going to be parents." he says with excitement.

I nod, letting out a laugh and kissing him.

He slowly pulls away from me. "Does Rhys know? Is that why he told me to see you first?" Azriel asks.

I nod again. "I told him last night after I visited Madja. I didn't know what to do."

"And he wasn't like... mad?" Azriel asks me.

"No Az, he isn't going to try and kill you for getting me pregnant. He was really happy actually." I tell him with a laugh. "And even if he wasn't, it wouldn't matter. We are happy. That's all that matters."

Azriel lets out a sigh of relief. "That's good."

"It's finally happening." I whisper. "We'll be parents in a few months."

Azriel smiles. "Yes we will." he pulls me as close as possible, tugging me to lay down in bed.

That's how we stayed for the following hours, wrapped in each others warmth, talking about baby names and the possible gender. Simply perfect.

[homestylehughes]

shower sex

pairing(s): luke hughes x fem!reader

summary: after a terrible day, luke knows just what y/n needs. because what's a better relaxation than shower sex?

wc: 1.7k

warnings: smut 18+. little plot, mostly smut! pure filth, no use of y/n. cussing, pet names, dirty talk. oral, fem receiving. unprotected sex, p n v. hints of some angst, and cute fluffy boyfriend luke.

authors note: hiiiii!! luke smut! luke smut! luke smut! i loved writing this, i love luke, going through a luke phase rn badddd. i got this idea when i was writing the headcanons for him earlier. so here it isssss. i loved writing this. like and reblog if you enjoy<3 as always much love<3

happy reading<3

I've actually had the worst day ever. Everything. I mean everything is going wrong today. I was late for work today because I missed my alarm, even with me sprinting throughout our apartment, and speeding to the office. I was still late.

Then, I spilled my coffee all over me. That was my second straw. The worst part about it was that I had to work in my coffee-covered clothes the whole day, not being able to afford to leave work, which would cause me to be even more behind than I was.

I had so much work to do, i stayed 3 extra hours over, not pulling out of the parking lot until almost 8 p.m. everything hurt, each part of my body was exhausted. To make things worse, if they could get even worse, I haven't seen Luke in almost a week. 

The hockey season is wrapping up but Luke has been busy with spending time with his family, after Jack's surgery and training for the worlds. 

We both had hoped that I'd be able to get time off from work to spend time with him and his family, taking a little break for myself. That obviously didn't happen. 

So now, im driving back home to our apartment, in coffee cover clothes, with a pounding headache and empty stomach. The tears are threatening to fall over my waterline. 

Parking quickly in the lot, I get out and grab my things, making my way through the lobby to the elevator. The ride to the 8 floor feels like 30 years before the door opening signaling its floor. 

I slowly trudge down the hall to our door, pushing my key in and turning the lock, the refreshing smell and sense of being home felt in my body. Immediately I drop my things by the door, kicking off my shoes as I do. 

There's three things on my mind right now: shower, eat maybe, and bed. Luke is also on my mind but I'm so exhausted I can't even bring myself to message him back from earlier. 

Making my way to the bathroom, turning the water on to the highest it can go, wanting to burn and wash away the aftermath of the day. Peeling off my clothes, my body quickly relaxes as soon as the hot water hits my body. Leaning my head back letting it run all over my face. 

I can't tell if the wetness on my face is just water or a mix of tears, at this point I'm not sure I care. 

After five or so minutes of letting the water run along my body I reach for the shampoo, starting to wash my hair. The scrubbing on my scalp and the smell of my shampoo is enough to send me into a daze. Wash and rinse and wash and rinse again, the same action repeated with conditioner. 

As I'm rinsing the last bit of conditioner out of my hair, my back turned away to the door of the shower, my eyes closed in relaxation. I feel a hand slowly trail around my waist, my eyes quickly open in confusion, my body fast to move away from the person behind me.

“Hey baby its just me” luke chuckles from behind me, pulling me back into his body from behind, his hands circling my waist rubbing small circles on my hips. 

“You scared me '' I say as I lean back into his body, “sorry baby didn't mean to”, he says, breathing into my neck, his warmth on my neck is enough to make my knees weak. 

“How was your day?” he says, face still nuzzled in my neck. I sadly laugh before i speak “my day was terrible so fucking terrible.” I can feel my eyes begin to fill with tears again. 

Luke is quick to turn me around, grabbing my face in his hands holding it to look at his. “Hey baby, don't cry, it's okay. I'm here now, i'm sorry i haven't been here recently” he says while his eyes are locked with mine, wiping his fingers under my eyes where tears have now fallen. 

Feeling stupid for crying i mute out a small “sorry” to Luke, feeling bad he has to watch me cry like a baby. 

“Hey no, don't feel sorry. It's okay to cry". I don't deserve him, I say to myself. Not knowing what else to say, I push my face to his, locking our lips together. It's been almost a week since i've kissed luke, i missed the feeling of his lips, i've missed the feeling of him around me in general. 

Luke is quick to respond by pulling my hips closer to his body, his other hand on the back of my head. Taking control of the kiss by pushing my lips harder against his.

His tongue pressing against my lips, begging to be let in, opening my mouth slightly against his, lukes hot tongue slides into my mouth. I don't even try to fight for dominance, I just let him take control.

Our bodies moving together against the stream of hot water, the glass door fogging up around us. My body feels like it's on cloud nine just from that. Lukes the first to pull away, his pupils blown with lust, lips swollen and pink. 

“Fuck i missed that” he says, hes hands begin trailing up my body grabbing at my hips, tracing his hands along the under neath of my breasts, the action alone causing me to shutter. 

“Luke” I breathe out, now looking up at him, “what baby” he smirks down at me, now trailing one of his hands to my left nipple, rolling it in between two of fingers. 

“I need you now” I say quietly, “what do you need baby?” Luke says, bringing his face close to mine.

“I want you to fuck me, please” luke wastes no time smashing our lips back to together, walking us backwards and turning us around. My back hits the cold tile, the sensation causing me to moan into lukes mouth, our tongues began to move against each other again. 

Luke suddenly pulls away from me, I whine at the loss of contact. “Be patient baby” he says, as he tails his hand between my legs, pulling my thighs apart, caging me in by putting one of his legs between my thighs and the other on the outside of my other leg. 

I gasp as a feel his fingers slide in between my folds, “fuck baby, who got you this wet?” “you luke, you.” I say trying to push my hips to meet his fingers, my body craving some type of release. 

“Youre a needy little thing tonight arent you baby” he says to me in a teasing tone, “yes i am, and i need you to fuck me now please luke, stop teasing me” i say finally finding my voice. 

“You want me to fuck this little cunt huh?” Luke rasps back to me as he begins to slowly enter two fingers inside of me, I'm so wet, that they just slide right in. 

“I think i might just tease you for a little while longer baby” still slowly moving his fingers in and out of me. My body is rocking against the motion of my fingers thrusting in and out of me.

“Fuck i need more luke, please” i say moaning out to him, hoping he can see how desperate i am for him right now. 

  “Since you asked so nicely” he says, quickly removing his fingers from my pussy. Grabbing one of my legs pulling it up against his hip. 

I pull his face against mine, my hands finding his hair tugging and pushing his mouth against mine, our teeth and tongues clashing against another.

Luke takes a hold of his cock, giving it a few quick pulls before he pushes into me completely. “Oh fuck luke” i moan against his mouth, “you feel so good around me fuck baby” he groans out from above me pulling our lips apart, as he begins thrusting in and out of me.

Each roll of his hips feels like a gift sent from god, his grip on my things hurts so good. I begin to roll my hips to meet his thrusts. 

“Fuck yeah right there baby” luke moans out “keep fucking yourself against me” he says dropping his face into my neck leaving bites in his wake. 

Luke brings my leg higher against his hip, the new angle causing my vision to fog over. “Luke fuck. Oh my gosh,” “right there baby please”. My hands running over the landscape of his back, my nails definitely leaving a trail of red hot marks in their wake. 

The sound of the shower running, and the sound of our skin slapping together fills the shower. I can feel the sweat forming on my body, as luke continues to fuck me. His hand sliding inbetween our bodies, to my clit. 

“Fuck luke, yes right there” i moan out loudly. “That feels good baby, right there yeah? You want me to rub your pretty clit as i fuck you?”. Fuck him and that dirty mouth, “yes luke please, dont stop im close” my eyes falling shut in pleasure. “Fuck baby, i can feel you squeezing against me”

Luke's thrusts began to speed up, I can feel my high approaching. “Fuck luke, dont stop” “im almost there” i say, pulling our lips back together, moaning into each other mouths. 

One last snap of Luke's hips hits right against my clit, causing my whole body to start shaking. “Im coming fuck” i can barely get out as waves of pleasure taking over. My vision is completely white, as my climax racks through my body. 

Luke drops his face against mine, as he comes his moans filling my ears, his hips still snapping against mine, as we both ride out our highs. 

Luke's hips stop moving, trying to catch his breath, as he pulls his face from my neck, I open my eyes slowly to see Luke looking back at me with a slight smirk on his face, our chests still rapidly falling. 

“I think the shower is cold ”Luke says to me while smiling, “I don't care.” I whisper back, pulling our lips together once again in another kiss. Already forgetting about the terrible day, once his lips are back on mine. 

[bigleagueteag]

Runaway

wc: 1.7k

warnings: mentions of foster care, none really

Lexi’s perspective

"Um, Lex," Chloe announced, causing me to look at her. "aren't those the girls?"

I looked in the direction she was pointing, when my eyes locked on them. The girls. The girls who left me and still had the audacity to claim they loved me.

I moved on long ago. The amount of calls and texts I've received in the past seven months was seriously concerning, not to mention they filed me as a missing person.

Cops have chased me, search parties have been organized, and yet I still don't want to be found.

I am not going back.

I groaned, turning to Chloe, my partner amongst all this chaos. "Yes, that's them." I growled. "Let's go before they see us."

The system is what broke me. It took away my freedom, my faith, my personality.. they weren't any different.

"They're coming this way." She whispered, turning around and leading the way.

My breath hitched but I kept my pace, careful to not be noticed.

I eventually heard footsteps approaching quickly- of course. They're footballers, they can run. I'd hope.

"Lexi?" An Irish accent was heard first from behind us. Barely making eye contact with Chloe, we slightly nodded-then took off.

I've always been fast, something they've always told me. I know I am. I'd always do the most sports to just get away from them, from everyone. Practicing was the one way I could be alone, even if I was with a team.

Chloe and I have been in this situation before, just cops instead. We've made a long going plan to run different ways and just meet up at our camp, an abandoned underground place squirming with insects.

But when I cut a turn opposite to Chloe, it didn't surprise me I could still feel the gap between us closing.

It wasn't long until I felt arms wrap around my waist, tackling me to the ground.

"No," I cried, squirming as more caught up. "let me go."

"Sorry kid," Katie mumbled, arms wrapped tightly around me. "I can't do that."

I tried pushing her off me, but more arms grabbed me. The same pair of arms that used to hold me at night, tell me everything would be okay.

Leah.

"Stop it!" I yelled, trying to make a scene.

A load of the girls were there, either from Arsenal or the Lionesses. They were all looking at me with pity and annoyance.

They must not know the story.

"Lexi, can we please just talk?" Leah practically begged, holding me against her while I thrashed in her arms.

"There's nothing to talk about," I spat under gritted teeth. "you left me. I want nothing to do with you."

I trusted her. I shared my secrets, my thoughts, my hopes, and that was my mistake.

She gasped, her grip almost loosening but never enough I could break it. "No, no. I didn't leave you. I would never." She breathed out, sounding more hurt than anything. "I was doing what was best for you, love."

Best for me!?

Beth butted in while lots of the girls explained to strangers I wasn't being kidnapped. "Le, maybe bring her back to the hotel. Somewhere more.. private."

Leah looked around, before agreeing. She nodded to Katie and let go of me, but right before I could take off, the Irish grabbed hold of me and picked me up in a bear hug.

"Katie, please," I whispered, voice desperate. "please let me go."

The Irish sighed. "I'm sorry, Lex. Just talk to Leah, yeah?"

"I don't want to talk to her."

"She just wants to make things right."

"If she wanted things to be right she wouldn't have tried to send me back.

Katie sighed again as we neared a car. "I don't think I know the full story. Just.. hear her out, okay? She loves you, kiddo. A lot. She's been worried sick ever since you left."

"No." A tear fell down my face onto Katie's shirt. "I didn't leave. I was looking out for myself, something she gave up on."

I was speaking loud enough so I knew Leah- who was only about a foot in front of us- could hear. Her shoulders were slumped and I only felt a smidge bad, simply because I have a kind heart. Deep down I knew I could rip into her with my words and still walk away unsatisfied.

Katie sighed yet again as Leah opened the car door for us, climbing inside with me still in her arms. "If this doesn't work out, I'll adopt you, alright? Caitlin would agree, no worries. Just try to speak with her."

I huffed as Less climbed into the car, squishing me in the middle. She gave my thigh a pat along with a small smile, but I didn't reciprocate.

Leah got in the passenger seat as Beth started driving away, lord knows where. A bunch of cars followed behind, assumingely the rest of the girls.

After about five more minutes of complete awkward silence, we pulled up to a nearby hotel. Beth parked and Katie grabbed my hand, pulling me out of the car. "Don't even think about running," Katie dared in a whisper.

I shot her a glare but obeyed, letting her drag me through the hotel.

In the elevator, my eyes connected with Leah's for a quick second. I looked away quickly, but only after noticing the regret in hers. It almost made me feel bad for all the distress I caused, to her and everyone else.

No, no. I can't turn into the sweet girl I once was. Not now.

Katie pulled me out of the now opened elevator to a hotel room, presumably Leah's.

Once in there, I stood against a wall, pretty much everyone I once laughed with staring at me. Both Leah's lioness and Arsenal teammates have known me, for me.

Running away was not me. But running away is what was best for me.

"Guys," Leah spoke the dreaded words, slicing through the awkward silence. "can we have a minute?"

Everyone- I'm not even sure, like 20 people- left, lots confused and lots worried. But I didn't care. I was now alone in a room with the one woman I hated.

Well- sorta hated. I could never hate her. In reality, I missed her so much. It was my one weak spot, she was the mother I never had. I had to convince myself she was my enemy first my own good.

"Lexi," Leah began from across the room, arms crossed. She had the most relieved yet sorry expression ever, something I'd never really seen. "I'm sorry."

I said nothing but stared at her. Not in shock, no. If she wanted my forgiveness, she had to give more.

Her eyes met mine as she took a step closer. I took a step back, hitting the wall behind me. "Lex, I didn't leave you-"

"Bullshit." I cut her off. "You tried sending me back to the one place I never felt safe in. You knew about that and you still sent me back."

"No, no. Lexi.." her eyes watered and her voice shook, as if she had a million things to say at once. "I wanted you in a better place. Looking back, I shouldn't have tried it.. but I was struggling. I didn't know how much longer I'd be able to take care of you and give you what you deserved."

Tears fell from my eyes as a lump in my throat formed. "So why'd you start? You never had to foster me, but you promised me you'd make my life better. I was happy, then you threw it all away."

"Because," She started, blinking her tears away. Her voice was still quiet in the small room. "you were so vulnerable when I found you. I knew I couldn't just leave you, and I wanted to give you the life I felt you deserved. I..I just didn't know I wouldn't be able to until it was too late."

I stared at her in shock, not believing her ridiculous words. "I was with you for two years. Two whole years. That's the longest I'd ever stayed with anyone after my parents. Why would you not want to fight your battles with me?"

She shook her head. "Because you're a kid, Lex. Bloody 14 years old. You're the sweetest, most loving kid I know and I didn't want you around my issues. I wasn't thinking of saving you from your own battles, instead I was thinking of keeping you away from mine."

Her words were starting to get to me, her voice so familiar and comforting. I slid to my knees as the tears continued falling, a gut-wrenching sob wracking from my body. "Th-that's not fair, Leah."

She was quick to be by my side, and soon I felt the comfort of her arms snake around my waist and cup my head. "I know love, I know. It was stupid of me and I should've talked to you. I'm so, so, sorry."

I let out another cry, this time much softer. "I-I thought of you everyday. I never understood why you would want to send me back. I thought.. I thought you'd just given up on me.

Leah sniffled, taking a second to gather herself before speaking. "I-I made a mistake, Lex. The worst mistake I could ever make. After you ran off, I realized how horrible the system is and hated myself everyday for even thinking of putting you back in that place. I.. I could never even tell the girls I'm so ashamed."

By now, Leah was brushing my hair back with her fingers, letting me rest my head on her shoulder.

"But I'd never give up on you." She whispered, kissing my head gently.

The motion was so strong it made my heart flutter.

"Lex?" She spoke after a minute of the now comforting silence.

"Hm?" I hummed, exhaustion from my experience haunting me.

"Can I be your mum again? A real one this time?"

And for the first time in seven months, I felt a true smile tug at my lips.

"I'd love that."

[weirdgenetic-fuckup]

It's Over p.2

A/n: idk what anyone was expecting to come from part two when I didn't even know what I was doing in part one

Warnings: Smut, stalker!Nikki, oral (m receiving), cum play, if you think I missed anything let me know otherwise enjoy!

Part 1 Part 3

A week passed by oh so slowly and Nikki could barely wait and when he finally saw you pulling up your driveway he immediately stood from the swinging chair on your porch.

It took you a second to notice him but when you did you jumped. "Nikki, what the fuck are you doing here." You demanded as he continued to slowly walk towards you.

"I was waiting for you." He said like it was obvious. "I cannot tell you how much I've needed you." He reached for you when he was close enough but you pulled away.

"Nikki, I told you-"

"And I said no." He interrupted. He was bigger, stronger and faster than you, he got you in his hold much easier than you could escape.

He held your hands behind your back and pulled you close to him. "Nikki, you're fucking crazy."

"What about my crazy?" You sighed and rolled your eyes.

"No. Nikki, you are fucking insane." You stated.

"Well, you're no fun." He frowned and started guiding you towards the front door. "Come on, you know I wouldn't hurt you." While it's true he never did hurt you while you dated, and to your knowledge he'd never hurt anyone, you still didn't trust him.

Still, part of you was on fire with his arms encasing you like this.

You unlocked the door, not thinking to hesitate about letting him into your house until after you'd opened the door.

He pushed you in and then pinned you against the door, lips immediately going to your neck and kissing where he knew you'd like it the most. "See? I know you better than anyone, sweetheart." He mused, you could feel his grin against you.

Your hands went to his broad shoulder, pushing him away gently though he didn't budge. "Nikki, come on, not tonight." You said. "I'm tired, can't this wait?"

He pulled away and stared down at you, a dark lust swirling in his eyes. He shrugged and picked you up, throwing you over his shoulder. "Fine, fine, whatever you want, Princess."

You squirmed a bit as he carried you to your room but he got you to stop with a quick and harsh smack to your ass.

He carefully placed you onto the bed and helped you out of your clothes, not that you'd asked or particularly wanted his help, before stripping himself and crawling into bed with you, the both of you in nothing more than your underwear.

Nikki got in bed behind you and held you close to him, leaving barely enough space for atoms as he breathed down your neck. It was oddly comforting in a way, warm and familiar. That familiarity made you mad, you hated that he was there with you, hated that he'd gotten his way again, that you gave him the right the touch you like this.

He took your bra off and massaged your tits, rubbing where the wire had been. It was a small gesture but it took your mind off of everything and after a long day of driving you melted into him and his touch and the mattress beneath you.

"Go to sleep, sweetheart, you deserved it." Of course you did, falling right into his trap.

You were a heavy sleeper, terribly so to the point where alarms don't even work a lot of the time. Nikki was always helpful for this, he was a light sleeper and woke up if you breathed wrong. He'd get up and make you breakfast before waking you up.

However, your sleeping habits also led him to doing things he wasn't always proud of.

He'd never cross any boundaries and when you noticed what he was doing you gave him a rule that you'd put a specific bracelet on your nightstand to indicate if he was allowed to touch you in your sleep. He followed that rule, only touching you if he saw the bracelet there, but even if it wasn't it didn't stop him from touching himself.

He'd groan so loud all because he knew you couldn't hear him, calling out your name and begging for your hands and that's exactly what he was doing tonight.

He rolled you onto your back so he could jerk off to your tits. While you were sound asleep he was stroking himself, thinking of you waking up and finding him, telling him it was ok and that you loved him and sucking him off.

He kept thinking about it, your puffy, bruised, red lips taking him deep into your throat, the sound of you gagging already bringing him closer to the edge.

Oh, how much he loved you and those sounds you'd make. He wished he could've recorded it more than just the once so he could make a tape out of it and play it over and over so you would always be there for him.

He'd have a little ending clip of your mouth all full of his cum while you told him how much you loved him. He'd stand behind you as you spoke, his still hard and leaky cock resting on your shoulder ready to love you more.

Hot spurts of thick cum shot from his tip and onto your chest.

He smiled down at his work. He knew the bracelet wasn't there but he just had to touch you, but first he had other needs.

He kept stroking himself, with his already sensitive cock it was quicker the second time, by his third high he was ready to piss on you and he thought about it before reminding himself of his goal.

He saw the pool of cum on your chest and started tracing a heart in it over and over until it stayed. "So pretty..." He hummed.

Your face scrunched and your eyes fluttered open. You looked up at Nikki, eyes finding his cock in his hand and following his other hand to your chest.

Your eyes widened and you sat up. "What the fuck, Nikki!" You yelled.

"Aw, all my hard work." He feigned a sad tone. He shrugged. "Oh, well, better clean up, huh? Can't have you sleeping in this."

You were mad but you were also not fully awake yet. Nikki cupped your tits in his hands and moved down the bed, making it easier for him to lean down and lick his cum off of your chest.

You couldn't even think to stop him, all you really wanted was to feel him bruising your insides again like he used to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@dinaswifey @samcaniglia @jameshetfeildsgf <3

[confused-pyramid]

I'll Be Yours In A Landslide | s7 interlude

pairing: aaron hotchner x childhood bsf!reader

summary: Hotch and his childhood best friend working together at the BAU: a slow burn across the seasons.

word count: 2.6k

warnings: SMUT, oral (fem!receiving), p in v, angst

a/n: IMPORTANT UPDATE: Sorry for the wait guys, I've been super busy with graduating soon and other life updates, so I haven't had any time to write:( I really wanted to give some sort of a tie-up for this series at least for the time being, so I wrote a little interlude for y'all. I am hoping to come back at some point, but for now, I'm putting an indefinite hold on this series. I really appreciate all the comments and messages I've gotten from people, and I hope to talk to you all soon:) Title is from State Lines by Novo Amor

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"How could you?"

You push past him, shoving your way into his apartment the moment he opens the door. You were fuming your entire drive over, but now that he's standing in front of you, your mind is a battlefield of warring emotions: I hate you, I love you, I missed you.

"You knew the whole time that she was alive," you gasp, already feeling out of breath, "and you kept it from us. From me."

"I'm sorry." It seems to be the only thing he can say these days. He has said it so many times, he's lost count, but it doesn't make this better. He knows he hurt you, even if he didn't have a choice. "Please just sit down and we can talk."

"No," you shoot back, shaking him off as he tries to step closer. "I'm not gonna calm down right now. I've been keeping this in for months, Aaron. I was there for everyone and no one was there for me."

His brow screws together and you know you're hitting exactly the right spots to make him feel worse, but you can't help it.

"I wanted to tell you," he says, his voice almost frantic as you pace back and forth across his living room. "You have no idea how badly I wanted to tell you all of it, but I couldn't."

"You should've tried harder," you yell, knowing how unfair that is even as you're saying it. His face falls and he turns his palms towards you, like he's about to surrender, but that isn't what you want. You want the fight. It's what you've been waiting for for months.

You open your mouth to yell at him again, but then his eyes find yours, and he looks at you in that way he used to...like it's the first time he's seeing you all over again, and suddenly you're walking toward him. His eyes widen as you crash into him, and before he can understand what's happening, your lips are on his.

It takes him way too long to realize what's happening, but his hands move faster than his brain. They latch onto your waist, tugging you closer, pressing your chest to his, as you gasp into his mouth. When his brain finally catches up, he swears he can see fireworks as you grasp onto him, your lips so soft over his. He's been drowning for months, years, wanting you, waiting for you, pushing you away, and now you're here and he can finally breathe.

"I'm sorry," he whispers against your lips, trying to emphasize how grateful he is to have you back, but you just bring your hands up between you and tear off his open button down before chucking it to the ground.

"Shut up," you mutter, a pang of hurt cutting through even as you try to sound angry. "Just kiss me."

He doesn't make you ask twice. His lips come back to yours as he walks you back towards the couch, your knees buckling when they hit the seat.

Aaron sinks down and pulls you on top of him as you grab at every part of him, your fingers tugging at his collar and your teeth brushing over his bottom lip. The kiss is harsh and he gasps as your nails drag over his skin, but he doesn't care. You're here.

He's falling, succumbing to the overwhelming desire rising up within him, but before he can let go, he pulls back momentarily. "You're sure? I don't want you to regre-"

"I want you," you whisper, the last word turning to a sob against your will. "I'm so mad at you, but I love you and I want you, so please don't stop."

His eyes squint with shame and for a moment you almost feel guilty for how harsh you are being, but then the desire returns and he pulls you down on top of him. Your hands come up to tangle in his hair, and the roughness of his beard feels unfamiliar, yet exciting. When his mouth moves down your jaw, the scratch of his beard against your skin ignites a fire within you.

You claw at his back, trying to pull his tee shirt over his head, and he reaches down, helping you wrest it off and onto the floor. The movement sends your hips back over his groin and he lets out a low groan as he tears your button-down open.

When your top falls to the floor as well, you both pause, finally realizing the gravity of what you're doing. Your eyes drag down his chest, over the thick scars lining his abdomen and collarbone, and soon your fingers are following along, tracing a path of fire over the roughest and most beautiful parts of him. 

You gasp as his fingers ghost over the scar on your waist, where your bullet wound used to be, and before the tears in your eyes can fall, your lips are back on his. 

There's more urgency in your movements this time as you try to relish the feeling of his mouth over your pulse, your hips rolling over him. 

"Bedroom," you whisper as heat spreads between your legs, emanating from the grip of his hands on your thighs. "Now."

He doesn't waste a second as he wraps his arms around your body and stands up, lifting you along with him as he makes his way down the hall. His lips don't leave yours even as he pushes the door open with his back, and he only breaks away to toss you onto the bed. You hit the covers with a gasp, and you see his pupils darken with lust as he climbs over you, his pants already tightening. 

You can hardly believe he's back in your life again, and even as anger and hurt cloud your vision, he's here in front of you, and you need him as close as humanly possible.

"I want you too," he says suddenly, his eyes finding yours in a moment of earnestness. "So much...for so long."

Your throat thickens with tears again, and you can't decide whether you want to blink them away or let them fall, but then he quickly tugs your jeans and panties off in one go and every thought leaves your brain. 

He looks animalistic as he peppers kisses up your legs, his mouth warm and wet as he stops just before your core for an extra second to rile you up.

"Aaron," you groan, threading your fingers into his hair and tugging him forward. You won't beg, not right now, but he gets the idea.

He practically grins at your desperation, drawing it out a bit longer by sucking bruises into your thighs, before he finally goes where you are willing him to. Your head falls back with a gasp as he plunges his tongue down, licking a trail up your slit that has you writhing beneath him.

He presses his hands into your thighs, spreading them apart as your hips jut off the bed. His tongue feels like heaven as he works you open along with his fingers, getting you close within a matter of minutes. 

"Aaron, please-" you gasp out, your words cutting off as he hooks his finger up, his movements precise in a way that both surprises and exhilarates you. You're not even sure what you're asking him for, you just need more of him. 

It's like he can hear your thoughts, because his fingers start moving faster, and when your grip on his hair tightens, he lets out a low hum that vibrates up your core.

You are barely aware of what your legs are doing, but when he grabs your ankle and lifts your leg over his shoulder, your head flies back and you're moaning his name so loudly, you're afraid the neighbors will come knocking.

"Yes," you gasp, your fingers pulling at his hair harder you mean to.

He laves over your clit, alternating between sucking and licking, until you come apart under his tongue, your mouth falling open with a loud cry. 

You taste incredible, and he's so hard that his jeans have become uncomfortably tight, but even as you cry out his name, it's not enough. He wants to see you come apart under him.

Gripping your hips, he yanks you down so that you're lying directly beneath his body, eliciting a soft moan from you. Your eyes are wide with bliss as you look up at him, your eyelashes fluttering softly, and he has to grip the sheets beside your head to keep his pants from tightening any further.

His knee presses down on the bed between your thighs as he lifts you up and deftly unclasps your bra, before gently dropping it to the floor. When he returns his gaze back to you, his breath stutters as he takes in the sight before him.

"Beautiful," he whispers, almost as an afterthought. "You're so beautiful." 

He has always known it, but something about seeing you in his bed, like this, feels unbelievable. Like he somehow did everything exactly right. Except you didn't, his brain reminds him. You did everything wrong, and still got this lucky.

Maybe it is luck. But whatever it is that brought him here, he isn't going to waste another second thinking about it.

You help him tug his pants off, and when he chucks his boxers off right after, his cock springs free, hard and ready without you even touching him. Your mouth floods with saliva as his knee presses forward between your legs, and you reach down to take him in your hands, but he pushes you back with a small shake of his head.

He wants to feel you more than anything else in the world right now, but he's already so riled up, he's afraid to let you touch him until he's inside of you. He reaches over to the nightstand and grabs a foil packet to cover himself, before he lowers himself down.

"Ready?" he asks, his voice gruff even to his own ears.

You nod, your legs spreading as he lines himself up, and his breath gets stuck in his throat when he slowly pushes in. Your mouth falls open as he fills you up, taking his time to push forward until he's fully seated inside of you.

He's big enough that you need a few moments to adjust, but once he starts moving, a string of moans falls from your lips. He leans forward to press a kiss to your jaw, then your lips, and when he pulls back, his pupils are so dark you can barely make out the color of his eyes.

"You're perfect," he whispers against your skin as he presses his mouth to your neck, his hips slowly rocking into you. "You're everything."

After growing accustomed to his size, the stretch feels amazing, and you try to respond, but your head just falls back onto the pillow as waves of pleasure roll over you. You remember your dream from while he was gone, the hazy sequence that had you waking up in a heated fervor, and you can't help but think about how much better he is in real life. How you waited for so many years, and even when it hurt like hell, it was all still worth it.

He starts to thrust faster, and you hike your knees up, trying to change the angle to get him even deeper inside of you. When he hits the right spot, you let out a high gasp and your walls involuntarily squeeze around him.

"Fuck," he mutters through gritted teeth as his rhythm falters slightly. "You can't do that." He dips down to press his lips to yours for a sharp kiss. "I'm already close."

"Me too," you cry, realizing it as it flies out of your mouth. "I'm so close."

Your words seem to flip a switch in his brain. You watch as his eyes darken and his rhythm picks back up, like he only has one goal and he won't stop until he gets it. 

You're starting to squeeze around him again, and he fists the comforter next to you as he thrusts faster, his other hand coming down between the two of you. It doesn't take him more than a few seconds to find your clit, and when his thumb flicks over it once, then twice, your breath stutters and your walls close around him so suddenly that he nearly finds his release as well.

You look magical as you fall apart below him, and he keeps moving inside of you, working you through it as he commits the image to memory. You let out a soft sigh as you come down from your high, but it only takes a few more thrusts for him to near the edge.

"Where do you want me?" he asks, his voice a low hum as you run your fingers through his hair, your nails scratching over his scalp.

You gasp quietly. "Come inside me. Please." 

He groans, picking up his pace again, and wraps his arms around you in an effort to bring you even closer. You press your lips to his as he releases, swallowing his gasps while he slowly comes down.

He pulls out slowly, taking care not to hurt you when you're sensitive, before heading into the bathroom. He returns after a minute with a small towel that he uses to carefully clean both of you up with. 

After tossing it away, he climbs back into the bed and tugs you close to him, your back pressing into his front like a pair of puzzle pieces. The day is starting to catch up with you, and you feel tiredness pull at your eyes as his chest rises and falls evenly behind you.

"I'm in love with you," he says suddenly, his voice hurried like he surprised even himself. "I'm sorry if it isn't the right time or if that isn't what you wanted from this, but-"

"Aaron," you cut him off, turning over so that you can reach up and thread your fingers through his hair. "I'm in love with you too. Of course I am."

He lets out a breath, and you can almost hear the relief in his sigh as he wraps an arm around you and tucks you into his side. Unsurprisingly, he's a furnace wrapped up beside you, but you can't bring yourself to move, especially with how much comfort his mere presence brings you.

You lay there for a while, taking this uninterrupted time to re-memorize his face as his breath evens out. You could never forget anything about him, but he's been gone for so long that you expect there are hundreds of new facets to him that you'll get to learn.

His eyes have been closed long enough that you assume he is asleep, but then his breath stutters and you look up at him as he squeezes you closer in his arms.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, his voice sending reverberations through his chest. "I know you know I couldn't tell you everything, but I should have let you in more-"

"I don't want to talk about this right now." Your voice is strong, and he must hear the finality in your tone, because he immediately quiets down. "I know you're sorry...and we'll talk about this more in the morning. But right now, I just want to be here with you. I just got you back."

He's quiet for a moment, but you feel his chin dip down in a nod. "Morning then. Good night."

His arms tighten around you and you snuggle next to him, every part of you interweaving in an effort to get closer than you already are. 

That night, you have the best sleep you've had in years.

TAGLIST:@citrusiove, @yiiiikesmish, @mdanon027, @alice-w0rld, @beata1108, @bakugocanstompme, @raely-study, @himboelover, @hermionegalathynius, @rousethemouse, @calif0rniadreamin, @tolerateit13, @delusional-13s-blog, @madesavage05, @littlemisskavities, @love13tter, @domithebomi, @guacam011y, @averyhotchner, @silver-studios, @whosmys, @mimi-sanisanidiot, @chronicallybubbly, @shilphy87, @threespacemonkeys, @zaddyhotch, @slytherin-min99, @endofthexline, @thattookaturnforthenerdy

[vixenobrian]

Seeing Ghosts

This is the first fic I've written here, so I hope you enjoy it!

Pairing: Bradley Bradshaw x reader

---------------------------------------------------

"Bradley honey, I'm home!"

No answer.

I sighed, setting down the groceries on the island countertop. I knew he was home, the Bronco sitting in the driveway was a clear indication of that, but I also knew why I had received radio silence.

"How was Mav?" I asked, almost scared of the answer myself.

"Mav's fine hun." Bradley retorted. He must have been upstairs in the bedroom, hiding away from me. I understood how hard this must have been on him, but not seeing my husband run down the stairs and greet me with a kiss when I walked through the door still kind of hurt my feelings. Still, I knew how important his space was after his visits.

"How are you bubs?" I called back. Nothing.

Mav had been in and out of the hospital for months now, more and more parts of his body slowly giving way. For a man who wasn't supposed to live past his 30s, everyone was certainly surprised to see it was in fact old age that did him in. Recently though, it was his brain that was going, and this seemed to be the hardest on everyone.

Bradley had been struggling, badly. Between his parents and Ice, Mav was the only one he had left, and to see him slowly slipping away, losing both his body and mind at the same time? Bradley had barely been able to stand it. Each night he would come home after visiting, crawl into bed, and simply lay his head on my chest and cry. I really wasn't sure what else to do at this point, other than be there for him.

I sighed, grabbing the fancy bottle of wine I picked up from the grocery store, before heading upstairs. We both needed a pick me up, and what better way than a good wine, and a home-cooked meal.

"Roos, darling," I called, slightly pushing open the door to our bedroom. I vaguely caught a glimpse of his figure, but I pushed right past it, wanting to grab the things I knew he needed and was probably avoiding. When he got like this, he tended to neglect his medicine, and I knew if I took a glance at him, I would have too. I grabbed the bottle off of the bathroom counter, seeing it right next to his spread-out shaving kit. I pushed back into the bedroom, finally looking him in the eyes.

"Roos, I have a- oh God!"

Rooster sat on the edge of the bed, his big broad shoulders slumped over in defeat. I could tell he had been crying by the dark red circles around his eyes, but none of this is what concerned me. Above Rooster's top lip laid no mustache, something he had worn with pride for years. He always considered it his best feature and took meticulous care in grooming it. I had never even seen him without it. I knew something had to have been terribly wrong.

I sat down the wine on the dresser, my excitement fleeting with the bottle, before reaching for his face. I brought my legs over him, straddling his lap, before taking his face into both of my heads. Immediately, I began to wipe his tears, while simultaneously peppering kisses to his cheeks.

"Roos, honey, what happened?"

"He called me Nick again."

My heart sank, pulling him fully into my embrace. I felt tears start to fall from my own eyes and the boy beneath me began to sob, shaking in my embrace. His hands clenched the back of my shirt, as I attempted to comfort him in his sorrows.

"Bradley, I am so sorry," I said. I felt guilty. I felt anger toward Maverick, even though I knew none of it was his fault. Still, he had hurt Bradley, my Bradley, and the anger that came with that radiated through me. I took a deep breath, trying to push these emotions down.

"I just want him to see me" He whimpered into my shoulder. My hand found the nape of his neck, slowly playing with his hair there. It was his comfort spot, and I felt him slowly relax into me, letting all of his body weight fall freely as if we were being combined into one. I let him lay here for a few minutes, switching between playing with his hair and rubbing his back, before slowly backing away, and once again taking his face into my hands.

"Bradley, honey, I am so sorry that happened to you, but I need you to know, no matter what happens, Maverick loves you so much sweet boy," I comforted, "and on top of that, I love you so much. So no matter what, you are loved, Bradley."

He pulled me in the back of my neck, planting a sweet kiss right on my lips. The lack of hair felt foreign to me and caught me off guard. I pulled away, still holding his face in my hands, when I noticed his cheeks turning a color red.

"So, how bad is it?" He asked genuinely, causing me to chuckle.

"You are still the most handsome man in the world Bradshaw," I told him genuinely, "but how long before it grows back?"

[reiderwriter]

hii!!! so i was wondering if you could do a one shot that’s inspired by either false god by taylor swift where spencer and reader are just worshiping each other? thank you <3

Hi! I'm not much of a swiftie, so I've never heard that song before I sat down to write this but it was perfect inspiration for a fic! I hope you enjoy it 💕

Warnings: Case details mentioned, typical CM violence, angst-adjacent confrontation with happy ending, hurt/comfort, heavy petting, oral (F receiving), squirting (implied), vaginal sex, implied creampie (no birth control mentioned). 2.2k words. Based on:

It was when the door to your hotel room slammed shut that you knew there was finally going to be a confrontation. Combing a hand through your hair, you threw your bag down and turned to look at Spencer. He stood there, just watching you from the door, his jaw tense as he struggled to break the silence and actually talk to you the way you knew he wanted to. 

“Spit it out, Spencer. If you’re going to push your way in here, you might as well say what you want to say.” You were frustrated and his silence was only making the fatigue from a day on a tough case worse. “Come on, Spencer, I don’t have all day.” 

“Do you want to die?” His voice held steady when he finally let out the words, and they hit you like a succer-punch. “Because what I saw out there today seemed like someone more than happy to put themselves in harm's way for no reason.” He stepped closer to you as he said the words, and you felt yourself grow hot. You just weren’t sure if it was from shame or anger. 

“Don’t profile me, Reid. I knew what I was doing.” You turned your back on him and began to go about your business, hoping that he would drop it and vacate the room as quickly as he’d stormed in. 

“You tried to take a bullet for me. Y/N, I was in the middle of talking him down, and you pushed me out of the way and forced his hand.” 

“So will the thank you card be delivered in the post, or can I expect it on my desk tomorrow?” You still wouldn’t make eye contact with him, thinking back to the events of the day. 

You’d known the plan all along was to have Reid talk the suspect down while you got his last victim to safety. Everything in the profile pointed towards the unsub being a loner, someone with narcissistic personalities who you knew wouldn’t end up shooting his way out. Someone that had acted with a cold violent misogyny in his crimes, and someone who would not respond well to a female agent trying to get through to him. You knew all that and you still couldn’t help yourself. 

“In this world of ours, Agent, men like you and I should be Gods. It’s my right to take that power for myself,” the man had said, holding his hostage in his arms as if she were a ragdoll, carefully watching every movement you and your team made. Morgan and Emily had the back entrances covered should he try to run, and Hotch, Rossi and JJ were coordinating with the backup SWAT team outside, should he gain any miniscule upper-hand in the situation. 

It was when Reid started talking to him again that you felt the bile rise in your throat and your body stop listening to your rational thoughts. He was giving the man everything he wanted to hear; stroking his ego, complimenting him, agreeing with him, and the man was responding as well as you could hope. 

But something was wrong, and it was clear from the moment that he levelled his gun in the direction of Spencer and released the female victim that something was about to go horribly wrong. 

“I think I was wrong, actually. We both cannot be Gods, can we?” He laughed as he said this, and you froze up instantly. Your only regret was probably that you forgot to go and check on the victim sitting on the floor, your eyes watching on in horror instead as your body through itself in front of Reid just as the unsub was ready to pull the trigger. 

The push had knocked the two of you off-balance. But the unsub was slack-mouthed and caught off-guard. He hadn’t even pulled the trigger yet, and now here the two of you were sitting pretty for him on the floor of his dump site waiting for him to put a bullet through your brains. He didn’t have the chance to, the SWAT sniper getting the orfer to open fire the second you’d strayed from protocol. 

Spencer still hadn’t left your room, his anger and frustration rolling off of him in waves. You moved about the room in an organized frenzy, completing your nightly rituals with as much obvious frustration as you could muster. You dropped your gun and badge on the nightstand, pulled off your jacket and mindlessly rooted through your bag looking for nothing in particular, praying that Spencer would walk out of the door and not force you to face your stupid decisions. 

Instead he grabbed your wrists, spinned you around and pushed you against the wall, forcing your eyes to meet with his as he pinned you there. 

“Stop fucking ignoring me,” he growled out in a low-voice. The sudden burst of movement had you both gasping for breath and you just stood there quietly again for a few seconds, breathing each other. You gave in first and rested your head against the wall, letting him force your eyes up to meet his.

“Ask me the question you really want the answer for, Reid. Because we both know I’m not suicidal.” 

“Why won’t you let me keep you safe?” his voice came out in a small whimper now, his body weight slowly pressing up against yours as he moved to rest his forehead on your head. The two of you stood there suspended in time, just lost in the feel of each other, the pressure and the heat from his body in contrast to the sharp cool of the wall at your back, and you silently begged him to make a move. But he was determined to get you to answer, holding his tongue when all you wanted him to do was crash his lips against yours and help you to fill yourself with him. 

“Because I do not want to be safe in a world without you,” you finally confessed. He lasted only a few seconds with that answer hung between you before he gave you what you wanted. 

His lips were cracked and dry but he was warm and sweet and you instantly received him, desperate to pull him so close that he could never leave. Your lips crashed together again and again, as if desperate to stretch your first kiss into your first ten, twenty, one hundred. He dropped your wrists after an eternity, only to greedily run his hands up and down your waist, snaking around you so tight that you gasped and let his tongue in. 

He explored you with his entire body, his mouth pressing into you messily his hands roaming desperately trying to map the plains of your body, like knowing you would be his salvation. You did the same, gripping his sweater with balled up fists and forcing him closer into you, unwilling and unable to let him move away. 

He gently walked you to the edge of the bed, not straying from his ministrations for even a second, until the backs of your knees hit the edge of the bed, and you were falling. But he was falling with you, and so you didn’t care, 

He finally pulled away from you then, raising himself up onto his arms and looking down on you like you’d personally put the stars in the sky. 

“Have you ever stopped to think for a second that I’d hate any world without you in it as well?” Shifting his weight, he bought his hand down to cup your cheek, then let his finger ghost over your neck and down to the swell of your breasts as he moved to undo each button of your blouse tantalisingly slow. 

“Give me the word, and I will worship you. I will show you exactly what you mean to me. Just give me the word and I will let you know peace.” You whimpered out a breathy ‘yes,’ and he was on you again in seconds, with a renewed passion. 

Your blouse was discarded in seconds as his tongue traced its way down to your breasts in sloppy open-mouthed kisses, and still the only sound that filled the room was your desperate pants. Your hips rolled up against his as he pulled you up to discard your bra, his tongue finally landing on your painfully erect nipples. He tweaked and teased, moving between them languidly, and you were content to have him stay there forever. 

He obviously had further plans though, and he moved lower still, kissing down to your navel and lifting your hips just enough for you to shimmy them down your legs and discard them quickly. And then there he was, just sat with his head resting in between your legs, pressing sweet kisses to the insides of your thighs and looking deeply into your eyes as he worked his way closer and closer to your core. 

Your panties were slick to your skin, so when he made his first drag of his tongue up your slit, it was with the beautiful added friction of the lace against you. He buried his face in your core then, and started licking and sucking and devouring you like a man starved, like you were nectar from the heavens and your attentions could grant him immortality. 

Even with the panties interrupting any direct contact, you could feel your need for him bubble up to your boiling point, and you squeezed your thighs around him, suffocating him in your first release. He pulled your legs apart again, taking the time to remove your panties now before pinning your legs apart again and returning to his last supper. 

He sucked, nipped, kissed you again, one hand pressed firmly against your hips to pin you down as you bucked and writhed in your sensitivity. His face was slick with your juices, as he thrust his tongue in and out of you now, using his nose to press into your aching clit. 

He worked tirelessly, desperate to shower you with all the attention he wanted to give you, and you gasped and moaned and whined back to him, like a goddess whispering affirmations in the ears of her most devout follower. 

It was understandable when your second orgasm hit, then, and he found himself flooded with your juices, doing his best to ride you through this time and taking in as much of you into his mouth as possible. When he finally pulled away, your legs were twitching and your eyelids heavy, but with your remaining strength, you cupped his cheeks and bought his face up to yours. He face glistened with your cum, his lips now plump and shining, and you pulled him down to you, aching with the desire to taste yourself on his tongue. 

“I’m going to keep you safe and hold you like this until you understand that I am not capable of living without you, do you understand?” he whispered in your ear when he finally pulled away, and you let the tears that had been building up fall finally as he pressed one final kiss to your lips before moving away to rid himself of his clothes. 

You were crazy to think that you would ever be able to turn your back on this man, that he would ever walk away from you and leave you alone. As he returned to you you held out your arms open to him, and he fell into them. It was a home-coming, a return to the palace the both of you belonged, wrapped up in each other like that. 

Still weak from his earlier attentions, he helped you move your legs to wrap them around him, as you twined your arms up and around his neck, pulling him in for a deep and passionate kiss as he pushed despairingly slowly into you. 

You winced as you adjusted to his size and he pressed chaste kisses along your neck as you got used to him, whispering between each one. 

“You’re beautiful,” your neck. “You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met,” your jaw. “I will spend my entire life in awe of you,” the corner of your mouth. 

When you were ready you finally blinked your eyes open and pushed your mouth into his, and he finally began his movements. Rocking his hips gently into yours, the two of you were in no rush to consume each other, savoring the feel of your coupling. You finally understood the meaning of calling the act making love - never before had you felt so cared for, so loved and desired as you did in that moment with Spencer Reid. 

You felt him getting closer and closer to bliss when he started picking up his pace slightly, his forehead resting against yours, his body heavy with the weight of his love for you. 

“I love you,” you gasped out as you felt him shudder inside of you, letting him hear the words just as he was tipped over the edge. Even though it was the first time you’d voiced the words so clearly outloud, you felt no panic, no anxiety at having made a hasty decision. It felt right, it was right. 

And you were going to keep telling this man, who worshipped you so wholly, as often as you could from this day forward,so help you god. 

[13as07]

Weekend #2

(Neji Hyuga & Shikamaru Nara)

[Artwork is not mine! Credit to unknown. Again I couldn't find the source, I'm sorry]

Requested by: xxziggy

Word Count: 3,415

Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:

I just realized this is the second FWB story I've put Shika in. Our poor man.

Love Triangle

Name Calling: Pet, Princess

Second part is a Neji half-smut so beware :)

Fingering (Female Receiving)

Teacher/Student Roleplay (for like two paragraphs)

Voice Kink

Praising

Verbally Fighting

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"Hey, Pet?" Shikamaru's voice calls out, followed by the sound of the zipper of the tent Ino and I are sharing being pulled down. "Are you ready to meet up with everyone?" He asks, eyeing the swimsuit he never got the chance to see.

"Ya, are you ready?" I ask back, grabbing the beach bag before crawling out of my tent. Once I'm out and standing straight again, I fix the cover I've wrapped around my hips.

Shika hums a soft yes, his eyes trailing over my fingers as I fix the knot. "Let's go," he murmurs, gripping my wrist before he leads me forward. His hand slips into mine, toying with my fingers as we head towards the beach. "Hey?" He peeps up a few steps away from the start of the sand.

"Hey, what?"

"Come here," he mutters, tugging me toward him by our joint hands. I'm pressed against Shikamaru, his free hand sliding up to cup my neck before his lips brush against mine. His kisses are hungry and quickly get rougher the longer he kisses me.

"Hey," I giggle, gently pushing him away from me. "You know the rules. No conjugating on the friends’ weekend."

"Ya, I know," he grumbles, pecking my lips again before turning back to tugging me forward. "A kiss or two won't hurt though," he mutters, jumping down the small edge from the forest grass to the sand of the beach.

"I guess so," I mutter, jumping down the edge too, Shika's hands holding my waist on my way down. 'Hello's are thrown our way by our friends as we walk across the beach. Ino and Choji wave us over their spot, getting an eye roll from Shikamaru. "Come on, stop being so boring," I tease, taking over the tugging as I beeline for our friends.

"Ino!" I cheer, racing forward to gushing over her swimsuit. "You are looking so hot."

"Bsh, this old thing?" She says, fake coyness in her voice. "I just got it off the Clarence rack last season. Look at you though! Hot damn, mamas!"

We both giggle, getting groans from the other half of our little group. "Can we just go swimming now? That's the whole point of this trip," Choji teases, standing up from the sand to stretch. "Aside from the s'mores of course."

"Of course," the three of us mock, following after the large man.

When we get to the dock, Choji races forward, jumping into the lake and making a huge splash. Ino dives in after him, her jump a lot more majestic than Cho's. "Alright, our turn," Shikamaru says, taking hold of me, and hoisting me up before I can stop him. He jumps off the deck, tumbling the two of us off the deck.

"Shika!" I shriek, gripping his shoulders and taking a deep breath before I'm pulled under. The water envelopes us as we sink, the strands of our hair tangling together as we slowly float back up to the surface.

My head breaks the water surface first giving me the chance to catch my breath first. "Meanie!" I giggle, splashing him when he breaks the water’s surface too.

"'Come on, stop being so boring'," he teases, splashing me back before he swims towards me. "Come here," he grumbles again, wrapping his arms around my waist and tugging me against him again.

Shikamaru situates us, letting himself float on the water's surface with me sat on him like a surfboard. "What are you doing?" I ask, squeezing his sides with my thighs as my hands rest on his chest. I paddle my legs in the water, slowly shifting us around the lake.

"I'm going to take a nap," he murmurs, letting his eyes fall closed.

"Shika!" I whine, splashing him again. "We're supposed to be swimming."

"We are swimming," he answers, splashing me back. "Just relax, Pet. We can waste energy paddling around later. You should take a nap too."

I grumble but give into Shika's plans, leaning my head back with my thighs squeezed tighter. As I sink into a half float, I let my upper body rest in the water like he's doing.

In my upside-down sight, I catch a glimpse of Neji and Lee on the beach. Neji's sights are set on us, his face scrunched up as he looks our way. Jealousy or is Lee annoying him? It has to be Lee, Neji doesn't take me as the jealous type.

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"Nara-Chan?" Neji's voice echoes from outside my tent, getting me a teasing look from the girls. "Are you still awake?"

"Yes, I am. Give me a second," I answer, shooting a look at them to knock it off before I unzip the tent.

He pops his head in, a huge smile on his face as he looks at me. "What are you girls up to?"

"Playing a game of poker, a game I'm winning by the way," Tenten taunts enjoying her victory streak and pulling mumbles from the other girls in the makeshift room. "How about you, Nej? What are you up to?"

"I came back to see if Nara-Chan wanted to go on a walk," he answers, focus turned toward me again. "Would you like to go on a walk?"

"Sure Neji," I say, my heart fluttering a bit. We haven't had any alone time since we got here and it would be nice to finally have some. A string of teasing noises spill from the girls as I climb out of the tent, making me roll my eyes. "Hey Nej," I greet once I'm out, climbing to my feet.

His hands shoot down, clinging to my elbows and helping me to my feet. "Hello, Nara-San."

"Would you stop calling me that?" I tease, enjoying the feeling of his hands on me.

     "I suppose I could call you something else. I will have to think about it though," he mutters, eyebrows pressed together in thought. "As for now, let us go on our walk." His arm slides into mine, hooking us together as we start our stroll away from the army of tents.

Our walk is sweet, the two of us walking in silence and enjoying the scenery. Soon the forest gives way to the beach again, a soft yellow of light poking into the night sky a few yards ahead. "Neji," I murmur, my senses heightening at the thought of someone else being around.

"Calm down, Princess."

"Princess?" I ask, the nickname catching me off guard.

"I set us up a spot to enjoy some time together," he explains, blowing off my question.

"Did you?" I ask, letting him lead me forward. He hums a yes, helping down the split between the forest and the sand of the beach. "That's so sweet Nej!" I coo, the little scene he set up falling into view.

A small fire burns, with a blanket laid out in front of it. Pillows and rose petals are littered across the blanket, adding to the romantic star-gazing spot. "Do you like it?" He asks, shifting behind me with his hands softly resting biceps.

"I love it! It's so sweet," I praise, leaning against his chest. After a beat, I take hold of his hand and race forward, sliding a bit in the sand. "How'd you manage all of this? Hasn't Lee been attached at your hip all day?"

"Lee helped me set it up," Neji explains, his hands gripping mine to help me onto the blanket. "He wants 'a full report of the night' when I get back," he adds, sinking to the ground as well.

"A 'full' report?" I tease, adjusting some of the pillows before I lay down. My fingertips got with some of the petals, enjoying how soft and smooth they are.

"Yes," he answers shortly, lying down next to me. "Lee is a bit invasive."

"He's just excited for you," I murmur, letting my eyes jump around the sky, lazily counting the stars.

We fall quiet again, enjoying our star gazing before Neji's voice rings out again. "Are Shikamaru and you something? I feel like I'm intruding."

"No, we're not together," I answer, my hand sliding over the blanket in search of his. When I find Neji's hand, I tangle our fingers together.

"Then what is going on between you two?" He asks, squeezing my hand gently a couple of times.

"Sometimes we just... help each other out... with... our needs."

"Is that so?" He asks, the sound of his head turning against the fabric of the pillow following his question.

I turn my head towards him, squeezing his hand in return. "Ya, that's so," I mutter, looking into his white eyes. "Does it bother you?"

"No, Tenten and I do the same thing on occasion." Neji's eyes jump around me before settling on my face again.

     "Oh ya?"

     "Yes, does that bother you?" He asks, a flicker of concern flashing across his face.

     "No, Nej, I'm not that sallow. I just assumed you were a virgin," I giggle, a string of laughter falling from me because of my honesty.

     "I am not a virgin! I have... been with a woman," he huffs out, cheeks turning red as he turns his head back toward the sky.

     "I don't believe you," I poke, turning toward the stars too. "I think you're a virgin that doesn't know what he's doing."

     "I know what I'm doing," he grumbles, squeezing my hand again. "I know what I'm doing," Neji repeats, now squeezing my hand in repeat.

     "Ya? Prove it. You won't though, I know you won't," I taunt, turning my head again as I let out another round of laughs.

     His voice and squeezing stop before his movements pick up. Neji turns over, the hand not wrapped up in mine slides into my hair, clinging to it as his head moves forward. His lips crash against mine, a bit unbalanced with nervousness for a moment before we fall into a pattern.

     "That..." I start to mutter when he pulls away, my eyes hazily opening to look at a red-faced Neji. "Proves nothing."

His lips purse together as he scans me again. "You are a very attitude-filled person," he mutters, shifting again so he's hovering over me, legs tangled with mine and hands pressed on either side of my head. "But that is alright. It is part of what attracts me to you."

This time it's my face going red as I turn my sights away from him, a smile breaking out on my face. Damn it, Neji, why do you have to be so straight-forward about everything?

"Well that's good," I peep out, slowly focusing back on the man hovering over me. "What else attracts you to me?" I ask, letting my hands wander over his sides.

We're both still in our swim attire, Neji in his swim trunks and a t-shirt, and me with a pair of shorts and my swim bottoms underneath, an open sweatshirt covering my arms and leaving nothing but my bikini top. It's pretty generic rom-com beach wear if I think about it.

"Aside from your attitude, you are also pretty, and nice, and devoted to your work, and good to the people of the village, and get along with Hinata," Neji starts, peppering kisses to my neck after every compliment that spills from her.

"Well... pretty beside the bruise Shikamaru seems to have left you," he mutters, tapping his nose against it before shifting further down my body. "You are very vocal too, at least when you're with close friends," Neji continues, now peppering kisses across the exposed parts of my breasts. "Are you vocal during other times as well?" He asks, head tilling up to lock eyes with me as his fingers toy with the elastic band of my swim bottoms. "Shall I test it out? After all, a virgin like me could use the experience."

Cocky little shit. I go for cocky little shits. "Well..." I stumble out, clinging to the material of his shirt as I get turned on by his soft touches. "Who... who am I to deny an eager student?"

Neji smiles at me softly, pecking my lips as his hand slowly snakes down to my bottoms undoing my shorts before continuing his trail down. He finds my clit almost instantly, rubbing slow circles into the material it's still hidden under. His mouth stays busy with softly sucking on my neck. "Ya... ya, okay," I mumble, fingers digging into the loose material of his shirt. "Defiantly not a virgin."

He chuckles softly, stamping a kiss to my temple before shifting towards my ear. "I told you, but you wanted proof, so I'm giving you proof." Neji's fingertips shift, slowly crawling down before dipping into me.

"Neji," I breathe out, my hands climbing up from his sides to bury themselves into his hair. I toy with it, trying my best not to tug or pull on it as his fingers curl inside me before being pulled out and thrust into me again.

"Princess?" He hums, lips brushing against my jaw now that he's gotten bored of my neck.

      "Aren't you like... like... like a goodie two shoes? A... a... 'follow all... all the rules' guy?" I stumble out, squeezing his arm between my thighs as my orgasm quickly builds.

     My movements don't go unnoticed, Neji's fingers move faster, his thumb moving around before tapping against my clit. "Neji," I whine again, tugging on his hair this time.

     "Princess," he says softly, a gentle smile on his face as his tilted head looks at me. "Yes, I am a bit of a rule follower. I don't think a tad of conjugating will hurt anything though."

     I tug on his hair again, the sound of his voice adding to my quickly building orgasm. "Keep... keep talking," I mutter, using my grip on his locks to tug him closer to me.

     Neji's head settles against mine, lips brushing against my ear as he talks. "Is that what does it for you Princess? My voice? Do you like hearing me talk to you?” He softly taunts, his smile present in his tone. “I’m glad because I like hearing your pretty voice too. I like seeing the way your beautiful face shifts in pleasure. I like seeing arousal in your pretty eyes. I look seeing your chest pump up and down with your breaths. I like - ”

He cuts himself off, my next praise falling silent as I let out a pitched whine, my pussy clenching around his fingers as I ravel undone. “Neji,” I hiss, tugging on his hair as if he could get any closer to me. “Neji, Neji, Neji,” I call on repeat, my voice a whine as I cling to him.

“Calm yourself, Princess. You are alright,” he soothes, rubbing my clit a time or two more before pulling his touch away from my cunt. His hands settle on my bare sides, rubbing circles into my skin as he litters my stomach with kisses. “You made such pretty voices,” he coos, his mouth jumping past my chest to press another kiss to my lips. “Focus on the stars, count them as you breathe, Princess,” he gently orders, tipping my head back before littering my neck with fresh lingering kisses.

One, I count to myself, eyes settling on a star. Two, I continue letting out a shaky breath. Three, Neji is now softly sucking on my skin again, enough to make it tingle but not enough to leave a mark. Four.

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Shikamaru's eyes keep fluttering from Ino to Neji and me walking back to the clearing we've set up camp at. He's not paying attention to the lecture about paying attention Ino is giving him.

Neji's arm which was loose around my hips is no longer loose. His hold is tight, pushing me against his side as we finish the short walk back to Ino's and my shared tent.

"Where have you been?" Shika asks, cutting off Ino's lecture.

"I already told you, she went on a walk with Neji. Do you ever listen when I talk?!" Ino complains, even more huffy at Shikamaru.

"To be fair," Choji says around a mouth full of chips, head poking out of our tent. "If you didn't complain so much, we all would listen to you more." Cho doesn't help the situation, but he does shift Ino's focus from lecturing Shika to lecturing himself.

Shikamaru ignores her, eyes cast at me in their 'I'm waiting for an answer' way; dark and slightly slit with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Like Ino said, Neji and I went on a walk."

"You were gone for an hour. That's a long walk," he grumbles, eyes slitting some more as he noses around the situation.

"We star gazed for a little while. What are you, my dad?" I snip, glaring back at him, mimicking his stance.

"No, but I am your friend, and at the very least your chief. It's my job to care about your safety. You shouldn't be out for so long while it's dark out." Our staring contest continues for a beat or two before Shika's eyes jump towards Neji. "I don't like you taking her out and about so late."

"She's a grown woman. She can make her own decisions. It's not like I dragged her out of her tent and used my legal standing to force her along," Neji shoots back, poking at Shika's 'I'm your chief' argument chip. "It just so happened she chose to go on a walk with me."

"Don't think you're special because she went on a walk with you," Shika hisses, arms falling to his sides as he takes a step forward. "She would have gone on a walk with anyone. Hell, even if annoying ass Lee asked she would have said yes."

"Alright, that's enough," I pipe up, moving out of Neji's grasp to gently shove Shika back the step he took. "Maybe let's not insult Lee since he didn't do anything wrong. Since no one did anything wrong," I look up at Shikamaru during my last sentence, eyebrows raised in an attempt to remind him of his place. "Just a nice reminder boys. I'm single. Do not have a boyfriend. No girlfriend in sight. Haven't been asked on a date in like two years. As single as a person can be."

After my little rant, I grab a hold of Ino, shoving her into our tent before I duck in behind her, zipping it up after myself. The two boys outside continue to argue, comments about my 'honor being taunted and rumors growing' thrown by Shika and comments about 'abuse of power and feeling intimidated' being thrown by Neji.

"Well this is entertaining," Choji says, shifting his bag of chips closer to me. I shoot him a glare but do take a handful. "Who are you going to choose?"

"Neji, duh," Ino butts in, rolling her eyes at our friend as she gets comfortable on her makeshift bed. "He's from a top clan, not to mention he's pretty high up on the ranks in said clan. Plus he's so sweet and soft-spoken. Neji is the smart choice."

I settle on my makeshift bed, leaning on Choji since he's taking up most of the space. "Absolutely not," he says, plopping another bunch of chips into my hand. "Ya, Neji is all like badass and cool or whatever, but Shikamaru is better."

"Shikamaru?" Ino asks, lifting an eyebrow as she gets up, walking across the small space to join me leaning against Choji. "The man that is bored of everything but still somehow complains about even more, is better... than Neji?"

"In this situation, ya. He knows her better than Neji. They grew up with the same culture, same traditions, same childhood, same memories. That's something Neji can learn but never truly understand as Shika can. I think you should choose Shikamaru," Cho says, focusing on me during his last sentence.

"I don't know," I mutter, snapping my eyes closed. "I think I need to sleep on it." For the next two years or however long it takes this to blow over, I mentally add. What the hell am I going to do? Why did it have to all bubble over on our friends’ weekend? This trip is supposed to be about relaxing. I sure as hell was relaxed about twenty minutes, and I sure as hell am not relaxed now.

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[hrizantemy]

I love fics where Nesta ditches Velaris and the IC, choosing to carve out her own path. More so when Elain is willing to go with her, or at least otherwise support her in the decision. But whenever the IC roll up, treasure hunt b-plot in one hand, Elain threat in the other, I'm always rooting for Nesta to just... Wish Elain luck, or something. To call them out on their (imo) obvious bluff. She never does. It makes me wonder what her breaking point with Elain would be.

In A place of Silver Silence, Nesta is slowly pushed to her breaking point because she's finding new people to consider family, and start to love.

Nesta had always looked after Elain, doing everything for her, and while she wasn't quite as blatant about it, she cared for Feyre too. In ACOWAR, when talking in the library, Nesta tells Feyre that she knew she could 'always earn more' when discussing money and their life in the cabin. This line put a lot of Nesta's actions into perspective for me. She trusts Feyre, and respects her skills. She trusts Feyre can handle herself, in a way that I don't think she trusts Elain.

She was so convinced in her letter to Feyre, in APoSS that Elain's spine would break if the barest hint of pressure was applied to it. As an Elain hater, I personally believe that this is the outcome Elain wanted, and while she's absolutely a coward, she's a cunning coward who knows how to manipulate Nesta to protect her.

However, now, Nesta has Taryn, and their friends and Elain and Feyre seem well adjusted so she doesn't worry about them as much. Which is normal. Switching your priorities from your adult, well adjusted siblings to your current partner and relationships after committing to one, and starting your own life is... Normal. And healthy.

She was wiling to turn her back, and let Elain scry if the IC pushed her boundaries. She gave Elain one final chance by agreeing, maybe to ensure Elain herself also knew she was done? But, assuming this didn't go the way they did, perhaps agreeing at all would've just confirmed to Elain, and the IC, that she could still manipulate Nesta if she played her cards right.

But, if Nesta didn't have Taryn, or particularly close friends, would she succumb to the threat, even if she still had a job, and a life she was living? And if the threat would work, how far could they push her? Unfortunately, I don't think Nesta would reach that point unless she broke completely, resulting in either her attempting to take her own life, or going catatonic (which I've seen a couple takes on before).

At what point do you think Nesta would reach her breaking point, if she didn't have other people like Taryn in her life to help her see her self worth, and reevaluate her priorities?

This is an absolutely fantastic analysis, and the nuance you bring to Nesta’s relationship with Elain (and the IC as a whole) is so sharp, layered, and heartbreaking. The idea that Nesta’s “breaking point” is only ever delayed because of her capacity to love—even when it hurts her—is spot-on.

1. Nesta as Protector: The Eldest Daughter’s Curse

Nesta’s identity has always been tethered to the role of protector—especially in relation to Elain. Whether or not Elain actually needed that level of protection is debatable (we’ll get to that), but Nesta believed she did. And that belief, paired with Nesta’s immense guilt and trauma, meant that her default setting became: self-sacrifice for Elain’s comfort.

It’s classic eldest daughter syndrome: being made to feel responsible for everyone’s survival while receiving the least emotional care in return. In ACOWAR, Nesta’s quote about Feyre being able to “always earn more” is subtle but devastating—it suggests that even in the cabin, Nesta chose who she could neglect because she thought Feyre would survive it.

Feyre, in her eyes, was strong. Elain was not. So Nesta poured herself into shielding Elain from the world, and that habit became a form of love… but also a trauma bond.

2. “She’s a Coward—but a Cunning One”

This line in your post is so good, and such a compelling reading of Elain. It’s easy to view Elain as passive and fragile, but the canon doesn’t fully support that—she’s been making quiet choices in her own interest from the start. Elain’s silence is often interpreted as helplessness, but it could just as easily be manipulation. She weaponizes her fragility.

Elain doesn’t have to lie—she just has to not intervene. And when it comes to Nesta, that silence is an active betrayal. She lets Nesta burn so she can stay untouched.

And Nesta knows it.

In A Place of Silver Silence, that knowledge becomes more than just subconscious. Her anger hardens. She begins to see Elain not just as “delicate,” but as deliberately delicate—a woman who chooses comfort over justice, even if that comfort is built on her sister’s suffering.

3. The Impact of Found Family (Taryn, the Valkyries, etc.)

You absolutely nailed this point: the reason Nesta doesn’t break is because she starts building new relationships that don’t demand that she set herself on fire.

Taryn, Gwyn, Emerie, the Valkyries—they don’t expect her to parent them. They don’t manipulate her with silence or guilt. They accept her rage, her grief, her violence, and her desire to heal without strings attached. That’s why those relationships feel so healing. That’s why they matter.

So what happens if Nesta doesn’t have that?

4. Nesta’s Breaking Point Without a Support System

Without someone like Taryn to center her, or a support system outside the IC and her sisters, I truly believe Nesta’s breaking point would look catastrophic. She’s someone who internalizes everything—her failures, her anger, her guilt. If no one external tells her she’s allowed to walk away, that she doesn’t owe her family her life and body and soul… then she’ll just keep bending until she snaps.

And when she does snap, it wouldn’t be a fight. It would be withdrawal—complete emotional shutdown.

There are two paths here:

• Catatonia/Emotional collapse: Nesta loses the will to fight and fades from the world. Think: not eating, not bathing, not speaking. She shuts down and waits to disappear.

• Self-destruction masked as “sacrifice”: Nesta agrees to the IC’s demands, but each time, it chips away more of her. She becomes a ghost in service of their needs—scrying, apologizing, giving up her life piece by piece. Until she finally disappears metaphorically or literally. This mirrors her earlier downward spiral after the war, only more subtle—and more dangerous, because no one is watching anymore.

5. “She Gave Elain One Final Chance”

Yes. YES. That reading of the scrying scene in APoSS is so on point. That moment was not about obedience—it was about testing the final thread. Nesta was essentially saying: “Show me you won’t use me. Show me you’ll stand with me.”

And Elain couldn’t.

That’s why Nesta was willing to walk away, even if reluctantly. The heartbreak wasn’t just in Elain’s decision—it was in the confirmation of what Nesta had feared all along: that she loved Elain more than Elain ever loved her. That she was always disposable.

So if she didn’t have Taryn, or the Valkyries, or anyone telling her that she is worthy of love without earning it, would she still be able to walk away? Or would she let herself believe she deserved to be used?

My answer is: she wouldn’t walk away alone. She wouldn’t see the worth in doing so. It would take a final, devastating betrayal—something big, something personal, something like Elain agreeing to let Nesta die “for the good of the court”—to push her over the edge. And by then, it might be too late.

Final Thought

Nesta’s journey is about reclaiming self-worth in a world that only values her pain. But the tragedy is that without others affirming that worth, even the strongest women can forget it. That’s why found family is not just a trope—it’s salvation. And it’s why characters like Taryn, Gwyn, and Emerie aren’t just side characters. They’re lifelines.

Nesta doesn’t need to be saved. But she does need someone to remind her that she’s allowed to choose herself.

And if Elain can’t do that? Then Nesta needs to walk—and never look back.

[buckysgirl27]

Off To War

Part Five

40s Bucky x Reader

Summary: Reader and Bucky are married in the 40's. Hydra captures Bucky and commands him to eliminate them. Can he do it? What will happen to future Bucky with this new information.

Trigger Warnings: Self Starving, miscarriage

A/N: Thank you for all the love❤️

Masterlist

Steve felt bad for leaving you. Kind of. He was glad you didn't want him there because he needed to look for Bucky. He was important in all of your lives. He was also glad you didn't want him there because he didn't really want to be with you when you started getting hysterics.

He stared at the map in front of him. He would find Bucky and he would bring him back. He'd have to go ten miles behind the enemy lines just to look in that first possible spot where they could have taken him but it was worth the shot.

He wasn't planning on telling you he was leaving but in the end he decided that maybe you should know. He also didn't want to get your hopes up. What if Bucky was dead? What if he himself died?

Steve sighed and got up from his spot at the table in the bunker. He should tell you. You should know.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

6 weeks after Steve had left you a sobbing wreck at your front door he came back. Without James. You were angry.

He knocked at your door and you didn't answer. If he didn't understand that he needed to bring James back then he was an idiot and you sure as hell weren't going to speak to him just in case you did something you would possibly later regret.

You heard the door creak open.

"I didn't answer the door for a reason Steve. Go away." You told him tiredly.

He walked up to you, your back facing him as you were sitting on the couch.

"I just came to tell you I'm leaving. I've got a lead and I"m following it."

You nodded subtly.

"Ok."

You got up from your place on the couch and walked over to him. You noticed how he looked over your form. He looked at you warily taking note of your gaunt appearance.

"Have you been eating? You know there's two of you now, you really do need to be eating."

You placed your hand on your stomach that had stopped growing the life inside you about 3 weeks ago.

You had been in your kitchen alone that morning, your mother hadn't come to see you, and you felt an awful cramping. You dropped your glass and it shattered all over the floor. The next thing you remember was the blood. There was blood everywhere and you knew it wasn't normal. You fainted from the cramps and the over next few days there was no movement. That's when you knew.

You shook your head and did the unthinkable. You hugged Steve.

"It's only me now."

When you first hugged him it was like holding a board but he slowly loosened up and rubbed your back soothingly.

"Oh." Was all he said. And to be fair there's not much else he could say to it.

You sobbed into his shirt and he wished it was Bucky that was with you, not him.

You needed Bucky. Not him.

He now saw that you and Bucky didn’t just love each other. You needed each other. It was sick and borderline pathetic. Steve didn't understand love. What was the point of it? You only got hurt in the end. It never ended well.

"When you find him, you can't tell him. Burn the letter, Steve." You pleaded with him after your sobs had softened into quiet hiccups.

"I will if you tell him. He should know. You shouldn't have secrets."

You nodded into his chest.

"Ok. Steve?"

He looked down at you questioningly.

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Let's hear it for Captain America!" Bucky yelled.

Bucky and all the other men started clapping and some of them even hugged Steve.

It reminded Steve of the hug from you he had received just days earlier. He needed to get Bucky back to you.

Steve started to softly push some of the guys crowding him away to get them to back off.

"Alright alright! Just doing my duty." He yelled so all of them could hear.

When all of the men had finally filtered away Steve took a deep breath and turned slowly to look at Bucky.

"Alright Buck. We gotta get you home."

Bucky frowned. He knew Steve didn't like you so the fact that he wanted to take Bucky home was confusing.

"Why?"

Steve took another deep breath. He really didn't think it was his place to say. He was going to do his best to avoid saying anything.

"Just...just don't be angry when you see her ok?"

Bucky's frown contorted deeper in confusion.

"What do you mean don't be angry? What happened? Is she ok?"

Steve shook his head and looked at the ground.

"It's not for me to say Buck. She'll tell ya."

Bucky threw his hands up in frustration and pushed past Steve and stalked towards one of the Hummers preparing to leave the camp.

"Well? Ya comin'?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were working in the front garden of yours and Bucky's shared home when you heard two pairs of foot steps coming up the gravel pathway.

You were starting to pull up the roses. You and James had both decided that roses were cliche. Everyone had roses and you wanted to be different. Maybe plant some daisies, or tulips. Or maybe even some hydrangeas. Those would be pretty.

You stood up slowly and reluctantly turned around to see who was approaching.

It was James. Steve was further behind than he normally was, giving you space for an either happy reunion or an awful one.

"James." You said breathily, hardly believing he was actually here in front of you.

He closed the remaining distance between the two of you and held you in his arms.

"Yeah. It's me baby doll. I'm here. Christ doll you're skin and bones."

You burst into tears.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen." You sobbed into his chest soaking his shirt with your tears.

He rested his chin on the top of your head for a moment before pulling away just enough to look you in the eyes. He took a deep breath before speaking.

"What do you have to be sorry for doll? Steve told me something was wrong and you'd tell me but -"

You cut him off.

"Steve didn't tell you?"

James gave you a concerned look.

"No. He didn't. What's wrong doll?"

You took a deep shaky breath. You knew if you didn't tell him now you wouldn't be able to later. You also didn't want him to think you had an affair with Steve. One it was Steve, that would be repulsive. Two, it was Steve. His best friend. You'd never sink that low. It was now or never.

"I was pregnant. Then I got the letter that declared you...dead. The baby..." you choked out a breath "...the baby didn't make it."

James stared at you in shock. He was almost a father. You saw several emotions cross over his face as he processed what you told him.

"Oh, doll. I'm sorry. I wish I could have been here for you."

He squeezed you to his chest and you sniffled into his chest and he rested his chin back on top of your head and held back the tears threatening to spill.

"Alright baby doll. Let's go inside. Get you some food."

You nodded.

"I'm sure you need some decent food too. C'mon Steve, you too!"

Steve walked up the pathway quickly.

"Thanks. I'm famished."

You laughed. It was a nice change. You missed your boys. It was nice to have them both back, even if it wouldn't be for long.

~~~~~~~~~~

Later that night after you all finished dinner and said your goodnights you and Bucky retired together to your shared room. You started to undress but Bucky came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed the side of your neck softly.

"I shoulda been here baby."

He felt your breath hitch as you turned in his arms. You cupped his face and pressed a light kiss to his lips.

"It's alright. You're here now."

He shook his head adamantly and shifted his eyes to the ground so you wouldn't see the tears forming.

"No doll. You needed me and I wasn't here for you. Steve was here though. Steve! You hate Steve."

You laughed at that. It was true. You didn't like him much but you wouldn't say you hated him anymore and you hoped he didn't hate you anymore either.

He continued on with his rant before you could say anything.

"The man you hate was here for you. Comforting you and your husband wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't here to hold you. I wasn't here to dry your tears. I didn't make sure you ate."

The tears started silently spilling out of his eyes and you thumbed them away and pressed your forehead to his.

"James. It's not your fault. I don't blame you for that. I'm just happy you're alive. Besides. We can try again right?"

He smirked at your last statement.

"We can. Still though. I'm sorry."

You took your hands from his face and allowed him to lead you to. your shared bed.

Steve was going to hate you again.

~~~~~~~~~~~

6 months later Steve slept surprisingly well. Until the noises started again. He put the pillow over his head and tried to block out the noises. You guys had been really good the past few days about respecting the fact that he was staying with you but sometimes...you weren't so considerate.

He tried to cut you some slack. You were pregnant again. He had heard women were more hormonal during that time so he wasn't necessarily surprised but he appreciated when you guys at least tried to keep it down.

Also who has sex at two in the morning? Crazy people that's who!

He felt the thudding of the bed frame against the wall and decided that it was going to be a sleepless night and went downstairs to make himself a cup of coffee. With Bucky's favorite mug. Bucky always knew they were loud whenever he found his mug in the sink.

Steve would be sat at the table reading the morning paper, having already finished his coffee and glaring at him. Bucky would give him a somewhat apologetic look because to him any glare was worth it.

"Sorry Steve." He said.

"Yeah sure punk." Steve replied.

Steve would then give him a tight lipped smile. You came to the kitchen a few minutes later with your round belly in the way of getting plates and mugs off the higher shelves.

You offered to make some eggs and toast for the men but Steve would always say he'd already eaten even if he hadn't. He really wanted to stick it to you. Even though it was mainly just hurting himself.

You just shrugged and said,

"More for me then."

Bucky walked over to the table where Steve was sat and noticed the formal looking letter that was opened.

"Is it time again?" He asked Steve.

Steve nodded.

"I told them I didn't need you for this mission last time they requested us for this particular one a month ago. They're insisting on both of us."

Bucky let out a sigh.

"There's no way to get me to stay? I can't leave her Steve. Not after last time. I won't let my kid grow up without a father."

Steve scowled.

"Look. I get it. But there's nothing I can do about it. I tried to tell them and they said no. We have to go."

You came into the living room only to hear the last bit of the conversation.

"You're leaving again?" You asked quietly.

Bucky took a deep breath slowly.

"I'm sorry beautiful. I've been personally requested for the mission."

You set yours and Bucky's breakfast on the table and Steve studied you carefully. He still wasn't sure how to gauge your reactions. They seemed to be changing all the time. It was awful when you cried. You would cry over the stupidest things. The store not having apples the other day was one of the things that made you break down.

"Oh." You whispered.

Great, Steve thought. You were gonna cry. But it shocked him when you didn't. You sat down and took a bite of your eggs and Bucky slowly sat down and started eating as well.

You and Bucky ate in silence.

Steve broke it.

"We leave tomorrow."

"What?!" Bucky practically yelled.

"It's about HYDRA. It's a Priority One. Are you really surprised?"

Your head snapped up.

"No. He's not going Steve."

Steve rolled his eyes.

"We don't have a choice like I told him earlier. We have to go."

"He almost died last time he was with them Steve! I'm not letting him do that again!"

Bucky put his arm around your shoulders.

"It'll be ok doll. It's a mission this time. There will be a few of us and we will know what to expect."

You slowly nodded your head.

"Alright. But I don't like it."

Steve rolled his eyes.

"Go pack."

@goth1c-pinki3-pi3

@svtbpbts

@homiesexual-or-homosexual

@baw1066

@theflowerswillbloom

@lil-riddle-kiddle

@lapii

[aithusarosekiller]

Trans Reggie black brothers fic:

NOT EDITED (will be before it goes onto ao3)

Words: 2239

Warnings: outing (sort of, Sirius figures it out and asks him about it but nobody is told against reg's will), reference to bigoted parents

-

The light twittering of birds was silenced as Regulus strode across his room and pulled the window shut with a slight thud. If he wanted to get any work done before he was due to return to school he would have to do it now, or he would put it off until the last minute. It was a bad habit picked up from Dorcas but one he had come to keep under control for the most part. So long as nothing else disrupted him, he should be okay to continue. His parents were at some important function and Kreacher was out collecting shopping so there wasn't too much that could distract him.

He had managed to sit down at his desk and unscrew the lid of his inkwell by the time his bedroom door slammed open behind him. He heard the unmistakable sound of his brother's heavy-footed stomps come up behind him and had to force himself not to snap right then and there.

“Yes?” His tone was clipped but Sirius either didn't notice or actively chose to ignore it.

“Are you busy?” Without waiting for an answer he attempted to sit down on Regulus’ desk, only stopping when he received a murderous glare and shark smack to the arm; he narrowed his eyes petulantly and tried to hide his irritating grin. “Move and I'll sit in your chair then, my legs are tired.”

Regulus pretended to have not heard him and returned to the introduction of his Defense essay. After a few moments Sirius stood and walked over to the bed, sitting down silently and waiting for a few minutes to see if Regulus was going to say anything. Nothing happened.

“Turn around, you little brat.” Nothing. “Please.”

“Don't call me that,” The reply was quiet but Sirius still heard it.”

“Merlin, I try to be nice once,” He grumbled under his breath, trying to keep his composure and her to the point. “I want to talk to you about something.”

Regulus looked at him as if to say ‘go on’ so he did.

“Look, can you just come here? I'm trying to be nice to you and do sibling bonding or some shit so the least you can do one nice thing and not stare at me from across the room? I'll distract Father so you can visit your friends on Sunday if you let me have this.” He let the suggestion sink in for a moment, then watched as Regulus pushed away from his desk, stretching out the time it took to close the ink and place down the quill, then made his way over to his bed to sit at the opposite end to Sirius, his posture perfect and his hands clasped in his lap.

“Posho.”

“Sorry, do you or do you not have a pair of 35 galleon shoes in your wardrobe as we speak?”

“First of all, I got them in muggle London so technically they were £170, not galleons. And secondly, that is a very good price for a well-made, hand crafted, long-lasting product you intend to use frequently.”

Regulus couldn't help but laugh at that. “You sound like Narcissa.”

He didn't stop laughing when he was slapped on the arm or when Sirius snapped at him to shut up, it was only when Sirius attempted to redirect the conversation that his face fell back to his typical moody stare.

“I wanted to talk about school.” He managed to ignore Regulus’ sigh, having grown fairly immune to the constant dismissals by now, even if it still made him feel a little hurt when he thought about it late at night. “Over the summer term and a little bit before that, I've heard-”

“Oh for Salazar’s sake, if this is going to become one of your anti-Slytherin, ‘you're all evil' rants, I really want nothing to do with-”

“It isn't that!” He hissed, almost laughing at Regulus’ affronted reaction to being cut off halfway through his sentence as if he had not just done the exact same thing mere seconds ago. “Stop coming for my throat and give me a change to finish my sentence before you assume you know what I'm going to say.” He took a deep breath and started again. “I have recently been hearing your friends talk to you while you're in the corridor and then again while they're alone. And I noticed a few things.”

It was then that Regulus finally picked up on what the conversation was going to be about.

“Oh, for-”

“Shush, let me finish. I heard you and your friends talking quite a few times and I heard that they called you a different name.” He looked at Regulus knowingly. “You might disagree but I'm not stupid. I mean my grades speak for themselves really, I don't think I did any revision before the day of for my exams and I still…anyway. Your friends were calling you Regulus and they were calling you he and I'm no idiot. I know what that means.”

“You understand names, well done. Maybe you aren't a complete imbecile after all.”

“Alright, you're being rude because you're nervous so I'll let that slide. I know that it means you don't want to be a girl anymore. And that's great! That's okay. I just wanted to give you the chance to talk about it. With me. If you want.”

Regulus looked at him blankly for a while. He opened his mouth to speak at least four times before closing it. Eventually he picked up the courage to actually say something.

“I'm not a girl.” Sirius nodded along. “Your eavesdropping was right there.” Sirius frowned in disapproval but did not get the chance to interject. “I am a boy. My name is Regulus. Yes, like the star. My friends are okay with it because they aren't completely despicable people despite what you Gryffindors may like to think. And you didn't have to interrupt my homework to talk to me about this, you haven't spoken to me besides polite greetings since November.”

“Actually, it was your birthday.”

“December, then. My point still stands, Sirius.”

“Is it rude to ask when you knew?”

“A little bit, yes.” Regulus snapped. “I didn't always know.” He seems to consider telling the story for a second, then decided not to. “I don't want to talk about it.”

“Okay.” Sirius nodded. Maybe if the rest of the conversation went well he would tell him another time. “It's a nice name. Bit long but not bad.”

“Thank you.” It was robotic and almost cold but Sirius was not deterred.

“I might shorten it to Regs. I've heard your annoying friend call you Reggie but you'd probably kill me if I called you that to Regs it is. It's short, efficient, and probably won't get my ears cut off and fed to Kreacher.” Regulus couldn't help a smile like that, which seemed to get Sirius out of his tentative, unnaturally calculated state and make him grin himself. “I'll take that as a yes.”

“Sure.”

“I have a brother,” He mused to himself. Whether it was with shock or glee neither of them could say.

“You can't tell anybody.”

“I won't! I'm great with secrets. Really, name one secret I haven't been able to keep.” He took in Regulus’ meaningful look and recalculated. “Yeah, alright, but I won't tell anyone this. I promise.” He attempted to look as sincere as possible. When he looked down at the sight of movement, he saw that his brother’s hand was extended, palm up and waiting.

Sirius couldn't help but smile when he was it, moving his own hand to place on top before taping each of their fingers together as he muttered the words 'I swear on my life’. It was a silly way of making a promise that Andromeda had taught them when they were younger and caught her writing to her muggleborn boyfriend. They knew not that she had just made it up to get them to stay hushed but they had never really grown out of it. Without a word, they both retracted their hands, but Sirius was now smiling and Regulus seemed at least somewhat more relaxed so it was worth it even if it was a kids thing.

“I just wanted to say that I am glad you were honest with me,” Sirius began the little speech he had prepared in his head. He had gone over it time and time again, attempting to eradicate any signs of his usual self to form a kind, welcoming speech that would soften the situation. “And I am glad that you have been able to find yourself like this.” Regulus groaned into his hands and swore under his breath. “I am here if you want to talk about…this and I would be really happy if you trusted me to talk about you being….a guy now.”

“Oh Merlin, this is humiliating. Stop. Stop. Sirius, stop.” He waited for him to trail off awkwardly before letting out a relieved sigh and beginning his own explanation.

“Okay; thank you but I really don't need a lecture on my ‘validity’. I am aware of it. And I didn't not tell you because I was scared, it was because we haven't spoken properly in months and I doubted that you'd even care. It would be weird, that's why.” He grasped around for another point to make while he had the silence to be able to get a word in. “And don't you think I should have been able to tell you this in my own time instead of just barging in and asking me about it.”

“When would that have been?” He wasn't expecting an apology, but the bluntness of the reply still caught Regulus off guard. “Would you have told me? Would you really? Hm?” He got no answer. “Reggie.”

“The point is that I should've gotten the choice.”

“Well I admit I didn't think it through that much!”

“That's new.” Regulus drawled.

“I was just shocked when you didn't tell me. I was shocked that they knew basic crap about you that I apparently don't. Call me selfish but I care quite a lot about that. You used to tell me everything.” The anger in his voice was barely-veiled. “We used to be best friends but I feel like I don't know anything shoot you anymore.”

“And who's fault is that?”

“Yours! You are the one who got all those amazing Slytherin friends and decided I was the shit on your damn shoe, Regulus.”

“I don't want to do this right now.”

They fell back into relative silence. The sound of the wind against the old, thin window was all they could focus on for a few minutes. Eventually, siris cleared his throat and reached out his hand, patting his brother on the shoulder a few times like he was a delicate animal.

“What are you doing?”

Sirius blinked. “I'm comforting you.”

“Don't do that.”

“Fine, I won't.” He looked away again and waited.

“I can tell you want to ask something else.”

Sirius shrugged noncommittally, then gave in and asked what he had wanted to know the entire time. “Who else knows?” The hint of desperation in his voice was embarrassing but he hoped Regulus hadn't picked up on it.

“My friends,” He provided. “That's all really."

“And…” He didn't need to say it for the implication to be obvious. They both looked towards the doorway despite knowing the house was empty, as if anticipating their arrival. Regulus slouched slightly, seemingly having given up on acting properly.

“Do you think I'd still be here telling you about it if they knew?”

“Don't say that.” Whispering was uncharacteristic for Sirius but he didn't exactly want to say the words that left his mouth, they just sort of did. Giving away the card he held for his brother's wellbeing even after all this time.

“It’s not exactly a shock, is it? The perfect angel of the black family ends up being a man with a woman’s features, guess what happens next.”

“Regulus, stop.”

“...Sorry.” The apology sounded almost forced out but it was better than none at all in Sirius' opinion.

Sirius shook his head lightly. “It's fine. It's not like it's your fault. Hey, uh, if you wanted to, we could go shopping together at some point. Get you some stuff that makes you feel less, y'know.” ‘Girly’ was the obvious end to that sentence. Regulus frowned and turned to face him again.

“I can go shopping with my friends, thank you.” Sirius waited. And waited. Then, “When would you want to go?”

“Why, do you can be conveniently busy that day?” He suggested; Regulus stared silently. “Next Saturday?”

“Okay.”

“Yeah, good, alright. Cool. You're paying for your shit though.” He added as an afterthought.

“What? Why one earth to would you invite me shopping if you're not paying for anything?”

“I'm not your Mum Reggie.”

“You're uglier than her, that's for sure.”

Taking it as the natural lull to the conversation, Sirius pulled a face and turned to leave, spinning back around one step out of the door so he could confirm their agreement.

“Next Saturday, yes?”

“Yes, that is what I said.”

With that Sirius nodded silently and left, leaving the door wide open and Regulus sat on the bed wondering where in the name all of that had come from.

[writing-whump]

A place to land

Part 3 of the sick on the train series. Super short fluffy conclusion.

"Well, damn." Dylan threw their bags on the bed, looking around the room.

It was a small airport hotel, but it had a good parking spot and lots of rooms for lots of people. And it was outside the city, so they weren't on anyone's territory yet, but close enough to get in anytime.

"We got a pretty cool room. Wanna push the beds together? We'll have more space that way."

Rip wasn't sure if Dylan said it, so they wouldn't feel awkward about cuddling. So Rip wouldn't feel awkward, really. Dylan didn't mind stuff like that.

Not having much energy, Rip wobbled towards the closest bed while Dylan moved the other one to his. "There. All set up."

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Rip stared at the floor. The meds Dylan got him worked, but they made him sleep the whole ride through.

His head still hurt, but it was a dull kind of pain that went away whenever he closed his eyes—so thankfully no full-blown migraine.

He struggled to shake off the drowsiness though. Not keeping anything down for 12 hours aside a bit of water probably didn't help.

"This was a mistake," Rip heard himself say.

"I'm gonna go check the other rooms- wait, what?"

"This." Rip waved at the room around them. "I shouldn't have come. I'll just go back, that will solve things. I'm so sorry-"

"Hold on—what are you on about?" Dylan stepped closer, confused. Like he genuinely had no idea. Like he hadn't been thinking the same thing.

Rip stared at Dylan's feet, not daring to look up. "You have worked so hard to bring me over here and I'm sorry I'm gonna waste that-"

Dylan didn't let him finish. "You are literally not making any sense."

The black haired wolf grid his teeth, jumping to his feet. "I'm ruining this, okay?! I got sick on the ride-

"We have meds for that!"

"I get motion sick, Dylan." Did he really have to spell it out? "On a fucking road trip. I'm here as backup and I will just be sleepy from the meds. I'm completely useless here, I have no fucking right..." his voice cracked and he looked back down, chest heaving with harsh breaths.

There was a silence that confirmed it.

Then Rip felt warm hands on his cheeks. Gently guiding his chin up.

Dylan held his face in his hands, eyes glittering with emotion. "Nonsense. You get a bit carsick, so what? You can sleep through the way and walk it off later. This is a vacation, Rip, not a drill. You don't have to be some useful soldier to earn your place here or whatever this is about."

His throat was too tight again. He still felt so messed up, so fragile. Like a light movement, a knock, could break him apart.

"It's okay. Shit happens, it's not like anyone minds. My mom gets motion sick too. My dad's ankle gives out after an hour of walking. Heck, even Sel needs to pee every minute on a trip, so what? Didn't stop us taking her with us everywhere." Dylan's fingers gently thumbed Rip's cheeks. "It's not such a big deal."

A choked-up noise at the back of his throat was all Rip managed for a reply.

"It's really not," Dylan repeated, ducking his head to catch Rip's eyes. "You are tired from the hell ride, I get it. But this is a not a disqualification reason, okay?." His eyebrows drew together. "Is this about what Hector said? He was such an asshole on the train, I'm telling you."

Rip shrugged. "It's not on him. Hector is always an asshole, I don't think that's particular to me."

"Honestly, if anyone should fuck off back home, it's Hector," Dylan continued. "Who invited him again?"

"He had a point," Rip said, lowering his eyes again. What right did he have, being on the receiving end of such gentleness? "I should be stronger than this. I shouldn't be getting all knocked out by carsickness, I've been through worse, it wasn't-"

"Wasn't what?" Dylan cut in, eyebrows raising. "Serious enough? Cause what, you are only allowed to be in pain if it's a silver knife to the back?"

Rip couldn't nod, still trapped in Dylan's soft hold.

"That's such bullshit," Dylan seethed. "You never applied that logic to me, why should you be any different? Pain is pain, if it's hurting you, I don't care about the reason. Who is even judging that—you? The city council? Other wolves?"

This was part of the problem and part of the beauty. How Dylan didn't understand Hector's behavior at all. Why he didn't understand why Isaiah choosing him was such a big deal.

Because when wolves looked at Rip—his scars, his missing last name, his history—all they saw was a stray. A failed wolf, cast out, abandoned, deserving of nothing but scraps if not outright dying, cause he was just garbage on the streets, messing up their view.

Because a stray must have done something wrong. Must have been kicked out for a good reason: unmanageable shadow, bad temper, refusal to learn. Wrong personality. Tendencies towards madness.

That's how most of them ended up, if they didn't starve or weren't torn to pieces.

But Dylan never saw a stray. Probably didn't know what it meant. If he did, he would probably still think they're cool.

"Can't you see how wrong that thinking is?" Dylan said, his tone much softer now. As if he could catch on to some of the thoughts in Rip's head.

It didn't really matter what Rip thought. Until now, it simply was, a fact and order of the world. It didn't matter if it was unfair or how anyone felt about it.

Not until Isaiah. His first move as newly active Executioner was to make a stray his apprentice. Teaching him Big Three techniques of old wolf packs— techniques a regular wolf would never get to watch, not to mention learn.

And it was working.

Rip wouldn't be able to put the system into words yet, but it was there. It made him wonder if anyone with this training could get over a bad-temper.

If wolves would stop going mad if they knew how to connect and train with their shadows like this.

What if Rip could really get over it? What if he could learn this...use it against the wolves who would have seen him killed for their own safety...even crazier, what if he could share it with the others?

His chest was hurting again in a mix of grief and hope and regret and all kinds of confusing crap he couldn't decipher. His shadow was wiggling on the ground, swishing from side to side like a tail of an angry cat.

"I'm...I'm sorry, D," Rip said quietly. "I don't know what's wrong with me today. I swear I'm gonna be better tom-"

Dylan grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him into a hug. Usually the taller boy would have been more careful about sudden movements with Rip, but they have been practically glued to each other on the train anyway.

And Rip didn't know the hole in his ribcage could be mended by touch.

Dylan's strong grip, his warmth, his scent, his heart against Rip's...Rip couldn't help but melt into the hold, wrapping his arms around Dylan just as strongly.

"Tomorrow will be better. Just stay," Dylan said, cupping the back of Rip's head with his hand. "Don't think you're gonna go anywhere without me."

[nyxavia]

KNEE SOCKS. - (pt. 2!)

—— the one with yosano's knee socks. ᥫ᭡

NSFW warning: dirty talk, oral sex (both male && fem!receiving. we love an equal pair) inappropriate touching, vaginal sex, sort of top!chuuya , sub!yosano dynamic (u heard it) teasing, sex without protection (don't do that thought for real) some begging / praise, butt - slapping, pet names, and i think that's about it. enjoy!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

a light suddenly turned on, revealing the powerful mafioso who had turned his chiair around, cigarette in hand while raising a brow; cheeky.

" about time you showed up, sweetheart. "

he had said, voice dripping with something yosano couldn't quite grasp .. but she got into character pretty quickly. " hey there, handsome. " she purred, strutting towards him; hands on her own waist at she did. so fucking hot, chuuya thought.

" missed me much? " straddling his lap. mind us, the agency could still hear them. yosano - sensei? are you there?

it didn't take long for the man to take it into his own hands,

hey there, bastards. let the adults have a talk, yeah? and if she can still walk, she'll update you.

sounds of broken material was all the detectives in return heard afterwards, chuuya breaking the hearing piece in one swift motion, turning it to dust - to say he caught the doctor unprepared would be an understatement. this was ... arousing her? no no, this is just thrilling her. solo mission and everything. yeah.

" now .. " coming around, she took a knife from her back and turned the sharp end on the mafioso's chin. " why don't you tell me where that disgusting boss of yours keeps his actual files? i can't believe you'd think these stupid papers looked real. then i'll be on my way. " a chuckle was the only response she got, causing her brows to furrow. " weren't you instructed to go to my office first thing first? i thought you were a smart one, detective. " eyes narrow. how could he ?! " i'm not playing, nakahara. " she then took his hands in her own, pinning them above his head. that would be enough to make a bulge form in his pants. " tell me where you keep the damn files. "

" oh so that's how we play? " nakahara wondered, using his ability to throw her on the other side of the wall; not enough strength used to hurt her, but enough to be pushed away. yosano couldn't have it, using her trainning sessions to jump away each time an attack came. motions copying those of a cat, yet again. watching her move like this, dear god ... it certainly did things to him. from a certain point, he stopped fighting back. just stood there while watching her gorgeous body move wondering how it'd look bouncing on his -

he didn't even realize it when his tongue had come out to lick his teeth, fangs showing. " i have to say .. that thing suits you wonders .. aren't you just as pretty, underneath? "

he woman smirks, winking and lowering her zipper in the slightest; she's not wearing a bra. " why don't you come and find out? "

and that he did! with a grin, he was after her. smart, calculated moves as she moved far, far away from his grasp. after all, he didn't want to hurt this precious lady. " that's all you got? " she had inquired teasingly, causing the executive to grasp her hands this time and pin them above her head. " oh i can show you all that i've got alright. "

and that went ... directly to where she didn't think it would. " i have a job to do .. " she inquired, slightly moving her hands in an attempt to act like she was trying to get away.

she wasn't. this was the first time in a long time that she wasn't trying to have the upper hand. it felt refreshing. " so, if i were to pull this damn thing down, you'd stop me? " gloved hand touching his own, guiding it further to take the zipper all the way down and reveal her beautiful breasts. " i'm sure you'll like what i have under here, " she whispered into his ear before gently biting on his lobe, " yosano .. " chuuya murmered. " you have no idea how much i want you right now. " now putting his hand on her thighs, after getting out of her onesuit - what was under were black, lace knee socks.

" fuck ... " chuuya could feel his dick twitching; it was painful at this point. " if you want me, have me. " was all that yosano whispered. and he didn't need much to be fair. grasping her waist erotically as ever and scattering all his belongings from his desk, he laid her there. " take that fucking thing off .. " he then said, impatient, urgent to have her .. it only stroked her ego. " easy now, executive. savor this, i don't know how soon i'll visit you again. "

" oh i'll make damn sure this night is unforgettable to you. " were the last words before digging into her lace panties, stroking at her clit. the feeling of soft skin was enough to make his head throw back.

one last look of approval gave him the very last green light, his strong hands coming to tear her panties apart. he'll get her a dozen pairs more. " mm ... " murmuring so urgently, chuuya couldn't help but lower his head and have a taste; absolutely delicious.

" this what you've been hiding huh? " exclaiming after removing her full clothing - but no, not that .. those stay on, just like her heels. " like them? i got them just for you, baby. " the lady before him had said, voice dripping with lust.

chuuya then continued his work on her sensitive area, making sure her thighs were tightly wrapped around his head. while he was lost in tasting her delicious part like a fruit, she was a moaning mess; groaning, squirming, even grabbing at his hair to get him closer and closer. " need you .. inside. inside, chuuya. " that was enough to drive him insane. " yeah? want my cock in that swollen pussy of yours? " after removing his face from down there, chin glistening with liquids. proof of a full course meal. yosano only nodded in desperation. " it's quite lovely seeing you like this, doc. we should definitely do this more often. " he mentioned before abruptly pulling her even closer to him, clothed legs wrapping around him on instinct. another nod was given. then .. gentle hands came to touch the area of his zipper. just from there it seemed that he was ... gifted, to say the least. " my turn. " she had said, before pulling it down all the way. he didn't stop her. " gotta tell ya, it's been a while since i - ahhh~ " voice of relief echoing in the office, akiko on her back by now, head bobbing up and down while her tongue was swirling around his tip; so very sensitive .. such a long time since he's felt this satisfied .. " yes, yes ... good fuckin' girl. " she in question only murmured in response, voice causing vibrations on chuuya's cock.

" as ... as nice as all this is, " he started, " i need to feel you. lay back down for me gorgeous. " and that, she did. naughty, she was on all fours by now, teasingly giving him a view of her back. but the executive wasn't having that. " no, turn around. i wanna see you. " with a whine and his help, on her back she was again. " what is it, angel? so desperate for me to fuck you? i'm on it, just you wait. " he teased, " it's certainly taking you a lot of time - ! " gasp!

then moaning ... lots and lots and lots of moaning .. and did we say moaning?

having taken revenge for earlier, chuuya entered her so very desperate pussy mid sentence. a wise choice, he came to realize. she was in such a state of bliss by his slow, hard thrusts, that her voice alone was enough to make him finish in seconds. but he'd never forgive himself if he did so before his lady.

" fuck .. so fucking good, akiko. " the use of her first name making her heart flutter; not many people used it. it felt vulnerable. continuing his thrusts, heavy breathing taking over the room.

yosano's eyes were rolled back by that time, fully listening to her body and allowing herself to be taken over .. and not be in control. damn this felt good. soon enough she felt chuuya's gloved hand gripping at her thighs; then her unclothed ass, then her thighs again. god, her thighs. " do you like that? like when i smack you? " only nods and whines in return. " speak up, doc. " grabbing her chin .. did he want her to finish this early or? " yes .. i love it. do it again. " her wish is his command!

SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!

leaving her buttcheeks with a beautiful rosy color, " you're taking me so good ... " he groaned, thumb leaning down to stroke at her clit; an action that made the woman squirm away from the stimulation, only to have her thighs pushed back down on the desk. she's not going anywhere. " yes, yes! faster! " desperately saying, surely if anyone was in the building they'd have heard them by now. it all only makes chuuya's ego stronger. " that's right, say my name. " but to say he wasn't enjoying this just as much and even more would be a lie. he's lost count of how many times he's almost reached his climax.

" chuuya .. yes, chuuya. " that's when he leaned down to reach her lips; taking just one moment before sealing them, then lovingly making out with the doctor while still inside her. " akiko, i .. "

he then broke the kiss, brows furrowing before slowing his thrusts; he was close, so close. only thing she responded with was a nod, getting exactly what he meant before he was pulled from his tie. " i don't want to be able to walk by the time i leave this office. " was whispered in his ear, the last thing he needed to slam on her hips with no mercy. " fuck - ! " hand stroking over her clit, and just like that finishing on his dick, glistening it with more fluids. it didn't take long for the other to become undone as well, thrusts slowing and removing himself to cum on her breasts; that she very much pushed together for him to push forward with his dick. a wonderful feeling, chuuya noted.

" that was .. insane. " he cackled, leaning down to give her a kiss; but why? why the sudden romance?

yosano couldn't explain why her lips felt so urgent to return the gesture, but they did. laying back down on the desk for a breather afterwards. " it was. we definitely should .. reschedule. "

leaving to get her a towel, before buttoning his shirt. you bet this would happen again.

passing over said towel.

" those damn knee socks ... "

[sapphic-agent]

Why is Simon able to see Maddie?

I've been thinking about it for a while, and I think I might have an answer.

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

Let's start with what I don't think it is. I'm 99% sure that it's not because Simon's dying. There's speculation that he has a tumor or undiagnosed cancer causing him to slowly die and that's why he's able to see Maddie. But I have two issues with that:

Why is he only able to see Maddie? If him approaching death is what enables him to see and talk with a ghost, why is that only extended to one ghost? At the very least, wouldn't he have some kind of connection with the other ghosts? Maybe if not outright seeing them, then sensing their presence or something? But he's never given any indication they're there, we've seen that. If he was dying, he'd have a connection to the entire metaphysical plane, not just Maddie.

Why does he only start seeing her at that exact moment in season 1? If he was dying, wouldn't it have been sooner? Maddie was "dead" for three days before Simon saw her. And it was only at this specific time that he was able to do so.

What this tells me is that this isn't possible because of anything from Simon's end. Or, not completely from his end.

To answer this question, we need to look at the only other instance of a living person and ghost interacting. What enabled Maddie to see Janet and Mr. Martin arguing? What allowed Janet to steal Maddie's body in the first place?

I think it's a combination of things. Mr. Martin says to Janet, "What did you feel? You have to tell me." This implies that she did something that was completely unexpected by him. We don't know what it was exactly, but we can assume that it has to do with blurring the lines between life and death even if it was just a little. But I don't think it was just this that allowed Maddie to see her and Mr. Martin.

When Maddie describes her altercation with her mother to Simon, she says very deliberately, "She killed my spirit." Maddie wasn't just feeling upset in that boiler, she was broken. A lifetime of being battered down by her mother's alcoholism and negligence and this was the final straw. She wasn't physically dead at that point, but emotionally she might as well have been.

I think that these two things happening at the same time created a sort of passageway between Maddie and the metaphysical plane. The hollowness Maddie was feeling coincided with whatever Janet had done to blur those lines, and that's how Janet was able to push her soul out.

Now, if I'm right about all of that, what does that have to do with Simon?

Well, remember what Simon said to Ms. Fields, "I don't know how I'm going to survive this place without her." It's important to remember that Simon had a feeling she was dead, or at the very least seriously hurt/in trouble. He accepted the possibility of her being gone as fact, which is why he never questions her being a ghost. It isn't such a stretch to assume that he was feeling the same hollowness that Maddie was concerning her mother.

(This also answers why he was the only one. Sandra and Nicole still believed Maddie was alive, they weren't broken in the way that Simon was. And when Sandra did receive the news that there was a good chance Maddie was dead, she was at home, not the school. So her and Maddie wouldn't have been able to connect the way her and Simon did. Also, Maddie's relationship with her mother is very complicated. They don't have anything close to the bond that her and Simon do)

But like I said above, the connection has to be on both sides. Not only did Maddie watch him have this breakdown and was probably feeling similarly to him in that moment, she also had a tether to the living world; her body. So, the combination of their emotional bond, Simon's emptiness when faced with a world without her, and Maddie still technically being alive allowed them to connect past the limitations of death

[sweetcocopowder]

Share Your Toys | SilverV

Synopsis: V buys something new and odd and Johnny doesn't want to participate. All until he needs to show V just how to use.

Word Count: 2.1K

Genre: Smut

Pairing: Johnny Silverhand/Male!V

Warnings: nsfw/anal/dildo/sex toy/masturbation/degrading/slut shaming

Notes: I know I've only done one cyberpunk fic in the past. But I have this one and one more planned to post haha. I'm here for the male!v x johnny enjoyers

Does he feel a little ashamed buying one? No… Maybe. Just a lil. They had peaked his interest when he had spotted one, but he had much more pressing matters on hand.

So, here he is, with a six-inch dildo in hand.

It’s odd looking. It’s thicker at the tip than it is at the base. Being an ombre from a pink on the bottom to a pastel blue to the tip, it’s almost alien looking. With ridges on the underside that poke out a fair bit, V already knows this is going to be an odd sensation. Something funky to use to get his mind off of current things.

“There’s no way in fuck we’re sticking that thing up your ass,” Johnny snaps from the couch.

V sighs a gruntle noise. He tries to ignore Johnny but the rockstar taps his foot on the ground. He looks up to Johnny finally with a raised brow. He sits on the edge of his bed in only an old t shirt -one that use to be an outdoor shirt but slowly turned into a pj shirt with all the holes and grease stains in it. He sets the dildo on the bed next to him with another sigh.

“We?” V asks.

“Yes, we,” Johnny bites back. “I can feel everything you feel to an extent. And tonight, or any other, I don’t think I’m in the mood to have that thing shoved up my ass,” he says as he points to the dildo with a silver finger.

“You’ve never taken a dick before?” V mocks as he scoots up on his bed.

He makes himself comfortable and brings a bottle of lube with him in hand. Johnny leans back on the couch with his legs crosses over one another. He pushes his aviators up back to cover his eyes. The red glass reflects V on the bed, laid back with his shirt pooled over his crotch and thighs.

“I said I don’t want that,” Johnny grits out.

V rolls his eyes. “Just, leave me alone and I’ll forget you’re ever here. Go to whatever corner of my brain you normally go to when you don’t like something. It’s still my body, so I can do what I want and put whatever the hell I want in it.”

Johnny stares at V for a moment longer and for a split second, the merc feels very exposed. The rocker has seen everything before. Has done stuff to him before. But right now, the look he’s receiving is something different. Then, without a word, Johnny disappears in a glitch of blue and red static.

Good. Now he can continue in peace and use sex for a moment to forget about how shit life is.

-

Getting the first inch in is a struggle. Even with a lot of prep and a lot of lube, the tip is a tad thick. The stretch is a little overwhelming as V opens his legs out a bit further. He works himself little by little, letting the ridges of the fake cock rub up inside of him.

“You’re going to hurt yourself.”

V stops all so that he can glare at the disturbance standing over him at the side of his bed. He’s gotten so use to Johnny popping up randomly that when he does, it doesn’t phase him at all now.

The rocker’s arms are crossed over his chest and he still wears those red aviators. He can see himself in them again. Legs apart, dick half hard between with a large cock spreading him open. And all Johnny does is frown.

V moves the dick, pushing it a little further into himself and watches Johnny’s face. And when the rocker’s face scrunches up into a scowl, soon followed by a shaky, quiet exhale that is a clear indication he’s trying to hide his reaction, V can only smirk.

As cockily as he can say with a cock up his ass, the merc grins, “How should I be doing it then?”

Johnny’s scowl only deepens. Yet, he disappears from where he’s standing and reappears in a wave of glitches and static in front of V. Bent over and looking over him without his aviators. Dark, brown eyes stare him that hold something dangerous.

Without a word, Johnny takes control of V’s spare arm and grabs a pillow behind him. He shoves it under V’s back that has the merc rolling his eyes. The pillow trick? Really?

“I can’t believe you’ve got me doing this,” Johnny grumbles under his breath.

“You’re the one that hopped in yourself, I could have done this on my own,” V interjects.

Johnny covers V’s hand that holds onto the base of the fake cock. “And have a shit time because you’re taking too long? I’d rather not sit back and have to experience that.”

“But you’d rather experience a misshaped dildo up my ass?”

Johnny only frowns at that, his brows furrowing together. Hard enough that it brings creases to his forehead and brings out his crow’s feet.

With a hard push, one that V wouldn’t have deemed himself ready, the cock is pushed halfway in. V throws his head back against the bed. The ridges of the dildo rub up against the part inside of him that makes everything tingle. The painful stretch of the cock has him trying to catch his breath. But it’s a pain that is welcome. Has him buzzing.

The thickness of the first half has him already feeling full. The ridges on the underside of the dildo rub up against all the good parts inside of him that adds to the dizziness in his head. He breathes heavily, soft whines hitching his throat as Johnny moves the cock inside of him before he can get use to the feeling. Slowly pulling out before pushing in where it was before. And God it feels so good. It has him gripping the sheets with his other hand, the other being held down by Johnny.

The rockstar lifts one of V’s legs up and props it over his shoulder so that he can settle in closer. V looks to Johnny through slitted eyes and the look on the rocker’s face only turns him on more.

Johnny’s mouth is parted, and he breathes in sync with V. Each time he pushes the cock inside of V, each time a little deeper, each time hitting his prostate, Johnny shivers and pants. The blue of the cock all but disappears into V’s ass, leaving only the pink half to take down. God he’s quickly enjoying this as much as V is. Who knew the rockstar could have a little fun.

Being trapped on a biochip must do that to someone though. But by whatever God there is, is it hot to see Johnny become a little desperate. He’s so focused on the fake cock that his own hips move in sync faintly.

Johnny growls, -something that V never expected to hear- and pushes the rest of the cock inside of V. It slips in easily, the base being narrower than the first half. And everything feels like it short circuits inside of V, as if his cyberware doesn’t know what’s happening. His back arches as he groans deep within his throat. The cock is so wide and girthy it stretches him greatly. It makes him feel full and has him twitching. Each movement has the ridges grinding up inside of him and each time that happens, a small hiccup of moans are forced from his mouth. He can’t help himself. This feeling is wild and he’s glad that he bought this.

Johnny on the other hand. He’s bent over V trying to catch his own breath. He doesn’t need to breath but it bloody feels like he can’t intake air. Every time V moves and shifts, a wave of pleasure pulses through Johnny that has him shivering and twitching. He can feel himself grow hard in his leather pants. He’s not meant to be into this but by god does it feel great.

He catches his breath before pulling cock out of V to the tip, the sweet sound of moans and groans coming with it. With a forceful push, he shoves the entire six inches back into the merc, the blue disappearing along with the pink. And there it is again, the wave of pleasure and tingles from V that has Johnny shivering and groaning deep in his chest.

He begins slowly pumping the fake cock inside of V, revelling in the raw feelings and sensations that come from the merc’s end. He can feel V’s pain and those friendly pats to his shoulders from strangers. All of those are faint, like passing by a soft blowing vent. But this, this has Johnny’s head spinning and his code glitching.

V other hand comes back down to stroke his hardening dick. He grinds his teeth together at how overstimulating such a simple touch is. God he’s not going to last much longer if Johnny keeps this up. Especially with the pace quickening with every pass of his prostate.

Johnny begins panting loudly as he quickens the pace. Each time it fills V up in the right places and stretches him a little painfully. But that sting is something that feels so good. He matches his stroke on his dick with Johnny, letting him take the full reigns even though he knew he was fucked when the rocker popped back up again to make his comments.

V gets lost in everything, letting his mind go to this moment right now. Forgetting about everything that’s fucked him over in life. Johnny pushes the cock fully in and lets it sit there for a moment. All so he can swat V’s hand off his dick and replace it with his own. The feeling of Johnny’s metal hand on his dick is cold and brings a harsh gasp out of his mouth.

V meets dark brown eyes that stare at him. There’s something different there that the merc can’t quite place. Maybe because he’s having trouble reciting the alphabet or he’s completely forgotten what day it is. His mind is a jumble. But he knows that that dark look within those eyes is something akin to…

“You’re such a slut, you know that?” Johnny quips in between his own panting.

And there it is. Johnny’s comments. Why should V be surprised?

“Yeah and-“ The comeback V was going to make is lost as Johnny moves the dildo inside of him.

He grinds it into him shallowly, letting it rub up against everything inside and makes his entire gut and head to buzz. And in time with the movement, he strokes V’s dick, his thumb flicking and rubbing over the tip each time strokes up.

V grabs onto the blanket again, still letting Johnny guide his other hand on the fake cock. Everything is going crazy. He can’t help but grunt and whine like a two eddie whore.

“Yeah,” Johnny groans out. “You sound like one too.”

V can feel himself coming closer and closer. If Johnny keeps this same pace, he can get there quickly.

“My little slut, how does that sound?” The words are spoken deeply, gravelly.

And it all goes straight to V’s dick. He cums as if a freight train just hit him. His Kiroshi’s become spotty for a second, the black spots disappearing slowly after a while as his eyes recalibrate. He can’t catch his breath for a moment and when he opens his eyes, Johnny is gone.

For a split second, V feels a bit of panic, but as soon as it comes, Johnny appears back again in a storm of glitches and static. He’s hunched over V with a wide expression upon his normally grouchy features. He pants and shakes. He gulps, trying to collect himself. But whatever V felt, Johnny did as well ten fold it seems.

V slips the alien like dildo out of him with a pop and a groan, and throws it aside on his bed. He’s too worn out to worry about anything other than the rockstar leaning over him.

He reaches up and pats Johnny’s face. The simple touch has brown eyes latching onto V.

“Was it worth it?” V asks.

“No.”

“Not even a little?”

Johnny sits up straight, still kneeling in between V’s legs. He runs a hand down his face and lets his gaze run down the merc’s body. His eyes linger on V’s still leaking cock and the cum splattered over his stomach and tattoos. He’d be wrong if didn’t admit this was all a little hot. It’s all in how V pants and shakes from the orgasm still, his chest and stomach rising rapidly with each breath.

Johnny swallows thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing on his throat. “A little then, yeah,” He grumbles.

-

Please do not copy or repost my work. &lt;3

[1moreff-creator]

(P:EG Chapter 1 spoiler warning for the unaware) If Tozu gave YOU the Traitor Perk, what would you do?

I don't think I'd ever be able to bring myself to hurt any of the others, let alone kill. Personally, I'd find the more friendly/caring students (Diana, Cassidy, Jean, Desmond, Ingrid), confide to them what happened, ask to stay with them at all times so I'd never be alone, and also desperately search for anything that could lead to an early escape from the academy. It's safe to say I would likely be a crying and shaking mess the whole time and would have to have heavy support from my peers. I'm not sure how they would react - they'd probably round up the others and inform them what's going on with me in order to ensure a team effort on my behalf, while also swearing to do whatever they could to keep me safe.

If all else failed, I might try to isolate myself from the others and await my end in a private place, so I could at least spare the others the sight of me dying in front of them. Tozu never specified a deadline or how Eva would have died, but I'd like to imagine it would have been a personal visit and execution from Mara. Okay, this one is actually really, really dark after presenting my own thoughts. The very idea of the Traitor Perk itself comes across as disgustingly unsettling, but there's a thrilling appeal as to what someone would do in such an event along with how the other students could come into play, which is what spurred me to ask this. Regardless, please feel free to skip this one if it's too grim.

Damn, that's... depressing. Your reaction sounds pretty reasonable, not gonna lie. The Traitor Perk is pretty awful, so I don't blame you for choosing to just accept it. Still, let's see what I think I would do!

Spoilers for EG CH1. CW: Murder, gun violence (Mara), fire and explosions

I'd say the first thing to consider is what context the Traitor Perk exists in. Because it's a thing that exists specifically to begin the killing game, it has to be given pretty early on. That means there isn't a lot of time for my mental health to deteriorate to the point I would genuinely consider mass murder (given I would also need to win the trial to survive), or so I would like to think. Like, I don't think it's impossible to push me to that eventually, but I'd say it'd take way more than the Traitor Perk and a few days in the Academy.

However, while I don't think I would kill, I don't think I'd tell anyone all the details about the Perk, either. See, if I tell someone about it, I risk that getting back to Tozu. And if Tozu finds out I told someone about the Perk, it becomes clear to him that I'm not planning to uphold "my part of the deal" (murdering someone), so he might just send Mara to kill me. That would be what we in the business call unideal.

So, what do? I would first check all the cameras and try to figure out if there's anything useful I can find out doing that. I highly doubt Tozu's gonna give me access to any genuinely useful cameras for escape, but it's worth a shot. I'd try to note down any blindspots for future reference, and try to figure out how the motion tracking works and if there's any way to exploit it. I'm hoping here that Tozu either doesn't notice, doesn't care, or thinks that I'm planning a murder with the cameras instead of trying to find ways to work around him :v

Once I've checked all the info I have, and presumably come to the realization that nothing in the cameras helps and I'm cooked, it would be time to make some sort of escape plan. As I sorta described in a similar ask I received a bit ago, I'd try to coordinate efforts with the rest of the cast by writing in notes away from the view of the camera (and I know what the view is hehe >:))

The main plan I'd suggest is attempting to get into Tozu's tunnels. Unlike other mascots, which may use different methods and copies of a robot to pull off the whole "magically appearing from thin air" party trick, Tozu has to, like, go somewhere. He's human, so whatever he does to move through the Academy, we can surely replicate.

With some luck, there may be few to none contingencies to account for students going there, we'd just need to be careful of Mara. Maybe we could even try to disable the generators to shut off any electronic contingencies, though I'd imagine whatever happens down there probably runs on separate generators so maybe it'd be best not to. Funnily enough, there's no rule against intruding in that space below the floorboards, so the only real rule we'd risk breaking is property damage if we need to break our way in.

Speaking of, how? Breaking our way in with regular tools would probably take too long, we'd get shot by Mara before we're done. Well, you might have guessed this based on the content warnings, but we have lithium batteries, and I doubt it's the only explosive thing around. I'm sure me and the cast can rig something up to blow a hole on the floor big enough for us to infiltrate. If possible, building the explosive in a camera blindspot would be ideal. Obviously, though, that's a lot of property damage, but I'm banking on the idea that whoever sets it off has the chance to get into the space below the floorboards before Mara shows up. Going out of bounds like that might make it harder for the game masters to properly administer punishment.

This is where we go back to the Traitor Perk, and I'm sorry that this post isn't very focused on it but my reactions took me in this direction :v See, this plan is awful. It sucks. There are a million ways this can go wrong, including but not limited to: proper contingencies for this possibility existing, there being nothing useful for escape down there, Mara just instantly shooting anyone who gets close disregarding the rules, a new rule about the tunnels appearing immediately as Tozu notices what's going on and Mara being ready to defend this space, among others. I would say that, in the real world, it'd be significantly safer to remain calm and await rescue, since someone's gonna figure out what's going on (obviously it wouldn't work in the EG universe, but we only know that because we know it's a fictional narrative. If it was happening for real, I'd think this course of action is reasonable). Even with a killing game going on, blowing up the floor of the school is not a great idea.

However, if I receive the Traitor Perk, I can't exactly wait for rescue now can I? If I'm already going to die anyways, might as well go down with a bang. I think I would offer to be the one to set off the explosive off, since I'm probably gonna end up dying no matter what. Yet, a low chance of survival is better than none, right?

Anyways, that's more or less what I would do I think. If Tozu gives me the Traitor Perk, I'm blowing up the school. Thanks for the ask, this was fun to think about! And thanks for sharing your own reaction, it was cool to read.