#but I'm going to hate myself if I don't finish anything
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kirexa · 1 year ago
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icewindandboringhorror · 2 months ago
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I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...
Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner
*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)
And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -
TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows
This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).
So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.
Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.
Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.
Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).
But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).
In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.
Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.
Now, doing the same thing for movies-
Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)
That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).
116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.
So, a for broader summary stuff..
I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.
If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.
ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.
I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0
#maybe this is my version of spotify wrapped lol.. Lifetime Media Google Doc Wrapped.. kind of.. except I'm not going over specific titles.#I can't do this with music since I rarely EVER look for new music or add to my Youtube To MP3 folder library as I just don't really#listen to music that often. When I'm working (the majority of when I seek background noise) I need like.. people's talking voices#for some reason. Just instruments and singing are not distracting enough to me to work as background noise because theyre#almost TOO in the background if that makes sense? like if I put music on then I just tune it out and it's virtually no different#than if I were daydreaming stream of consciousness thoughts in an entirely quiet room lol. And I can't really do it with books since#essentially 100% of what I read is non-fiction. usually about some specific subject or academic topic OR stuff like#1800s magazines or cookbooks or historical people's diaries. Which is not really.. the type of thing I would#rank as easily I guess? like 'ooh yeah putting the sociology textbook in my top 5 hee hee right next to the 1920s radio recipes book' lol.#Then for games... I just sadly dont play enough of them. I've been banned from new games as I've told myself I cant play anyting#long form (no rpgs or etc) until I actually finish MY OWN game first - to keep me from wasting time. so on average#I play... 0 new games a year. ToT... I do play the sims sometimes but that's really all (which is not a new game at all since#I've been playing it on and off for years). Thus I guess movies/TV are really the only things that make sense#to collect this sort of information on. I could do youtube videos I guess also but that seems kind of strange like...#giving a rating to every single video I watch in a ranked list lol.. Especially since I would say a good 85% of the time#they are exclusively background noise whilst I'm working on something or cleaning the house or etc. and not things I pay serious attention#to. There are only a few specific topics/types/creators of videos I watch where I'm ACTUALLY sitting in front of a screen paying#direct attention to the content (usually when it's educational or political things). Everything else is too mindless to even rank.#ANYWAY... ever analyzing my little hermit Weird Relationship To Media (in the sense of seemingly not processing or getting the same#things out of it as many other seem to). I think that can contribute sometimes to the whole difficulty socializing and stuff#since our culture is very centered around media consumption generally speaking. People want to talk about The New Movie that came#out or The Big TV Show Of The Year. and for me it's like.. highly likely I just plain have NOT seen it. Or if i have. statistically#I most likely was entirely ambivalent if not slightly negative towards it lol. Which just kind of takes the steam out of a 'fun' 'casual'#conversation and you seem like a bit of a bummer if most of your only feedback is either 'idk what that is' or 'oh yea... i did#see that one.... i didnt like it all that much though... I think it'd be better with elves in it.. and 7 hours longer..'' lol..#Which I am not disliking things in a 'grr i hate it bc its popular'/just to be contrarian way. I actually dislike that mindset/find it#silly (by striving so hard to be counterculture you are thus still defining yourself by the whims of external culture - just in the#opposite direction. but are still just as preoccupied with the mainstream (going against it) as everyone else. etc. lol..)) In my#case I think it IS just having niche hyperspecific tastes.. for example- it peeves me when cell phones are in media bc I dont want to be#reminded at ALL of the real world. so.. cross off anything set in modern times. so on & etc. Judging all things by these weird criteria lol
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airenyah · 6 days ago
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currently holding on to the fact that we know they'll end the series with fadel and bison out of prison:
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the question now is... how exactly are they getting out of prison?
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fireboos99 · 10 months ago
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I literally do not have anything smart to say here, this drawing literally only happened because my siblings were telling me I should post my brainrot doodles on here, and my anxiety-ridden ass couldn't do it, and decided the only solution was to spend days (read: the entire latter end of April) working on a proper drawing because "if I'm going to post anything on tumblr, it better be a full-ass drawing"
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princescar · 4 months ago
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me about to start a new project I'll probably abandon in two weeks: oh man, I can't wait to share this with tumblr dot com
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elytrafemme · 2 months ago
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alright folks i hate to admit it and be hashtag vulnerable but the prospect of having so many doctors appointments back to back is making me genuinely feel crazy hopeless 😭 let's hope it's just my period
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vraska-theunseen · 5 months ago
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aughhhh. aughhhhhjhhhh
#everhoneignore this post classic rant post i don't have real problems everyone can move along#truly have had such a bad couple of days here and i am not even close to finishing the assignments i need to finish in welding being in#clsss makes me want to quit and die i don't know why i'm so slow i don't know why everyone else can intuit this stuff and improve and#understand how to do it and im always always falling behind if i could try harder wouldn't i be able to do that ive got no drive to push#myself at all i guess i like the english and i can do the physics i thought i at least liked drafting and metals fabrication but i feel so#stupid everything i do makes me feel so stupid and my teacher talks to me like i'm always doing everything wrong when i do some classroom#ettiquette breaches that everyone else does too and i can't get myself to go to sleep on time can't get myself to go in early i have hours#and hours and hours and i blink and it's gone and i've done nothing i should've welded today and gone in early to draft but i didn't because#im stupid and im slow and i can't do anything right i have always been able to square away a little bit of pride on being precise on doing#things well because people are always telling me that i am but i am below average here i just can't do things right and i feel like everyone#hates me and thinks i'm obnoxious and i don't know how to interface with my class or my teacher or how to improve or how to be less anxious#and i feel even stupider for that because i am so stuck up not being able to deal with even a little bit of failure or issue or hardship#and everyone around me is sick all my classmates and people in my dorm are sick im sure it's covid they haven't said it's covid but none of#them would test and i've been wearing a mask again but im certainly been exposed to it already and no one else is wearing a mask anyway so#what difference does it even make and i can hear them coughing in my dorm and in the classroom and when i go to get food and i miss seeing#my friends from philly and everuthing will be terrible forever and ever#alex talks
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snowddeong · 2 years ago
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Breaking: Author is shocked to find that their writing is similar to *checks notes* their own works that they've published and literally wrote themselves. More shocking stories at the turn of the hour.
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somelazyassartist · 2 years ago
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I HAVE NOT SLEPT IN. THEREE DAYS BUT I HAVE DRAWN THE DRIDER I'VE BEEN PROCRASTINATING DRAWING!!,!!!!!! YEAS!!!! I'LL POST HIM AS SOON AS I'M DONE ADDING HIM TO MY ARTFIGHT
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wishmkr-jirachi · 4 months ago
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y'ever feel nostalgic for objectively worse times. why does that happen
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featherymainffins · 11 months ago
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Binge-reading Dungeon Meshi because it's the only thing standing between me and suicide ngl.
#it at least gave me the single molecule of mental energy required to force myself to eat at least one slice of bread#because it's like the physical energy is there sure but mentally I'm like 'noooooo I don't want to eat anything i hate food#all food tastes bad and i hate life and i want to eat nothing at all and furthermore i need to lose weight so i should starve myself'#I'm thinking that it might actually make me last until I either convince the crisis center that I'm for fucking real for real#or until my appointment with the school counselor. which idk when would be because i was supposed to go on the#2nd of April but i guess there might be holidays because he called me when i was atva lecture but i couldn't take it#because i had a lecture and he hasn't called since but I'm assuming#that hell call again and that he wants to let me know that the date is impossible#but I want to like wait and see what he says. and if he goes like 'oh actually im on a long vacay now goodbye forever'#or whatever I'll just go '...slay' and ride my ass to the hospital tomorrow.#show up at the crisis centre looking exactly like the patients with chronic pain who report pain 7 while looking unphased#like 'hello i am an active danger to myself I can't get out of bed most days; i need 16 hours of sleep to function for 4 hours#my meds have stopped working I haven't eaten anything but exactly 2 pancakes and a slice of bread in the past 4 days#and i exhibit a strong refusal to change this marked by thoughts present in people affected by eating disorders. no activity#feels fun anymore and they were marked by a strong sense of anxiety a few days ago but now i just feel nothing at all.#at this point I'm not even refusing to do any of my hobbies because im increasingly afraid of failure and its#consequences while being hunted for sport by anxiety from the opposite end telling me that i need to finish 50 masterpieces#immediately or nobody will ever like me again and they'll all see me for the talentless fraud i am. at this point i just don't care.#i don't do anything because i feel sluggish and my body is heavy and I'm so so tired and I'm tired of being awake and I can't think straight#also i think i might be going into a psychotic episode again.'#they're gonna tell me to get the fuck out of their faces anyway but it's worth a try.#like idk i feel like they might kinda listen because yesterday I guess they wouldn't have but today i have stopped caring about cars#and looking both ways. which is like. not a good sign probably. also yesterday i was still somewhat able to talk to people#even though i was in a very irritated and drained out state but today I'm feeling like if anyone even fucking attempts to talk to me#or if i hear any loud fucking sound at all I'm just gonna punch myself in the head until the pain drowns out all the sound
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brainfilehasstoppedworking · 11 months ago
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Teacher: If you don't get anything in to your boss on time, guess what? You'll be fired!
Me: Crazy. Guess who's staying unemployed for the rest of her adulthood?
#sam's talky talks#Haha. I hate it here#Actually. Recently I've been thinking about adulthood as well. But more of just...am I gonna be stable enough–#–to provide for myself? What if my job is shitty? What if I stayed unemployed for the rest of my life?#What the fuck am I going to do?#I mean. Shit. That's scary. And I'm so bad at communicating with people because I get anxious and shy#I suck at getting shit done so throw some job opportunities out the window. I'm so bad at writing stories I can't cut it as a writer#I...my mom was right. I'm never going to succeed in life. I'm just too busy stuck in my little world#I'll never be able to help anyone. I'll never be the amazing daughter she always wanted. I'm gonna be like those 30 years olds–#–who still live in their mother's basements haha...#I bet by that time I'm 20 my mom is gonna be sick of me. She'll probably want to throw me out by then because I'm such a disappointment#It's always what I've been anyways ya know?#Shit. I'm probably never going to finish high school. Never go to college. I can see myself being a drop out more than anything#Disappointing huh? It's all I've known. I'm surprised my parents haven't caught that yet#My dad and step-mom have so much hope and expectations for me I can't breathe#<- I mean. They don't want me to be an A+ student. But they really seem to want me to do amazing#You know. My dad jokes about how I should be getting A's. That B's and C's aren't good enough. And that kinda hurts#That hurts a lot. Because I've never been a good student. Just average#I'm venting and rambling in tags. Haha#Ignore me please. This is nonsensical that this point
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luvsavos · 1 year ago
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life kicks me in the ribs yet again: more than likely i won't be able to get all the money i need in time for the alatreon model, so. got excited for nothing :)
#mar.txt#vent? i guess?#again:girlhelp:#i need $120.25 still and of course i didnt get a job in time because why would things go my way and even if i do a bunch around the house#the money is due the day before my dad gets paid so that won't work#im panicking sort of to the point of being kind of nauseous from it haha#turning to art comms from my friends out of desperation but i don't think i'll get enough to cover the last bit of cost#not to mention the issue of my phone absolutely fucking sucks ass so i can't do digital art until i get a new one so any comms i DO have/get#will have to wait until i get a new phone for me to finish them and i know that's kind of A Problem which is why i'm only asking close#friends who i know won't be bothered by the idea of paying upfront then having to wait a little while for the finished product#though at least i can get the paper basic sketch done,since i draw the basic thing on paper then do more detail and whatnot digitally#idk if any of my moots wouldn't be bothered by that. i can promise i will get the full things done once i get a new phone. i'm just really#fucking desperate rn lmao god i fucking hate everything#i need to just. stop letting myself feel the emotion of excitement over Anything in the future. because when i do it always,ALWAYS goes#wrong. youd think id learn by now but no apparently im just too fucking stupid to#anyways. ill draw humanoids and i can try my absolute damndest at mh monsters even though i kind of struggle with anything but malzeno#practice makes perfect right? hahahahahaaa. fuck me.#not to be concerning on main but if this were me a few years ago i think at this point i'd be genuinely considering offing myself because i#am SO fucking tired of literally everything possible going wrong and even the things that are SUPPOSED to bring me some comfort or happiness#among the ocean of everything else ALSO going wrong#obviously the more money that could be tossed my way the better but hell i'll even do just paper sketch comms for a lower price i am#genuinely desperate because i really REALLY just want this ONE fucking thing to go right for me. god. just One thing.#alternatively if anyone wants to just. Give Me money. idk id feel bad about getting money without giving something in return but if anyone#WANTS to do that theyre free to as well. idk just dm me for my paypal if that or a shitty probably time-delayed comm sounds like smthn youd#be interested in??? even tho who am i kidding lmfao nobody will,that would be too good and i'm obviously just not fucking allowed to have#good things huh#ugh. sorry for the vent post Again. i swear we'll return to the usually scheduled funnyman stuff and ocposting. eventually. :/
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thecherrygod · 1 year ago
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Hm
#my posts#look yes i keep making at least one post like this a day and it will continue but its either letting it out or i have no idea#also in my defense y believe most of my mutuals arent up so it is peak time to post about feeling like shit#my plan isnt for someone to read these its for the bullshit to get out and try to not get to the point shit hits the fan#anyways man teen me would be so fucking disappointed by so many things the mere fact we are still alive would make them livid#and alive and living like this?#probably if they knew it was gonna be like this it would have happened lmao#they would just think we are a coward and a dumbass who can't do anything right tbh but they did know then too it's not knew#if it was new we wouldn't be here wouldn't we. why am i referring to is in plural it's just two dif timed mes#but yeah they are probably like 'hey of you are gonna keep living at least you could do it in a way no one regrets it' but alas we do#and we will keep regretting it bc our death won't be our choice. the deadline for it was extended until we were 20 and it's long closed#.... things are getting worse tho they put true but like. that isn't an option anymore lmao it sucks tbh#... i don't have anything else to say that isn't repeating it#i. do wish it was still an option idek why it isn't anymore it's some stupid arbitrary rule#i hate this. it's like. i really don't do a single thing that could make any version of me proud of myself#not teen me not child me not current me. none of us is okay with whatever the fuck i have going on and yet!#.man. I've spent all day tired and wanting to cry for nothing particular but also for literally everything so like#that would fix me. i don't know how to make it happen#... I'm gonna go to sleep#i need my phone to finish charging but that'll be over soon#so yeah I'll. go to sleep soon
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whisperofwonder · 2 months ago
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Kirishima Eijirou x reader - 415 words
I saw a tiktok with pretty much this exact scenario and knew I had to write it for Kiri. Reader is referred to as his wife here.
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"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" You turn your head at the sound of your husband's bellow to see him launch out the door, still shoving his second arm into his coat sleeve. You lift the shovel in your hand, thinking it was obvious.
"Shoveling the driveway," You say as he reaches you.
"Are you serious?" He says, reaching for it. You don't let go, so now you're both holding onto it.
"Yes?" You try to tug it back, but his grip is too strong.
"No!" He wrenches it from you this time, setting it against a nearby tree. "It's my job to shovel! And clean off your car," He adds accusingly, gesturing to your windshield already brushed clean of snow.
"Eijirou!" You frown, "It's not a big deal. Just give me the shovel!"
"No way." You dart for it, but he's too quick, wrapping his arms around you and trapping your own by your sides. "Go back inside." He's already lifting you off your feet, not giving you much say in the matter.
"Put me down, Eijirou!" You huff, struggling uselessly against him. He doesn't respond, carrying you resolutely back into the house. "This is ridiculous," You announce when he finally sets you back on your feet in the kitchen. "I can do all that myself, you know. I'm not helpless."
"I know that," He says it so matter-of-factly that you pause. "I know you can do anything you set your mind to. That's one of the things I love about you. My point is that you don't have to! Not when I'm here!"
"Eiji," You say quietly, frown still creasing your brown as you try desperately not to soften at his words.
He breaks into a grin. "That's more like it. I hate when you full-name me." He chucks his fist under your chin. "It's not very manly for a guy to let his wife do all the shoveling, you know. What are the neighbors gonna think?"
"Probably nothing," You huff out a laugh. "What are they gonna think about seeing you manhandle me back into the house?" You counter, and he frowns at that.
"I'll kiss you goodbye out front to make up for it," He decides. "I'll make it extra good."
"Oh really?" You quirk an eyebrow, trying not to let on how your middle leapt at that thought.
"Yup," He says with a nod, dropping a quick peck to the tip of your nose. "Just lemme finish shoveling real quick."
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bonbonly · 2 months ago
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sugardaddy lewis who makes you sit on his cock while you work on your assignments
real talk, lewis hamilton is so fine like every time i see a picture of that man i'm actively drooling liKE SIR PLEASE PLEASE ILL DO ANYTHING - ok someone restrain me
bon's thoughts (18+)
sugardaddy!lewis hamilton probably misses you, but you had some exams coming up! and like ive said before, he wants to see you succeed and graduate. you're getting great grades, he doesn't want to ruin that, so there's gotta be a way for him to spend time with you right?
he visits you in your dorm one day, awkwardly waving to your friends who are about to head out for the weekend. you were a bit too studious for your own good, but hey at least you weren't getting wasted when you had a test coming up! he's proud of you for that, and when you guide him to your bed, he's eyeing the thin tank top you're wearing that easily highlights your hardened nipples, and those cute silk shorts that gives him a clear view of the round of your ass.
"i'll be studying, lewis, i hope you don't get bored," you pout at him, sending him an apologetic smile and he chuckles,
"it's ok baby, I think I can find a way to keep myself occupied."
and that he does, because now you're warming his cock as he's watching you complete some assignments for a class. your clothes are on the ground, he was insistent that he got a clear view of those delicious tits of yours. if you finished an assignment correctly, he'd let you bounce on his cock for a few seconds, but if you had to redo one, oh he was going to hold your hips down and make sure you didn't create any friction.
an hour passes, and you're whining, begging for lewis to do something because as much as you love feeling stretched out like this, you wanted him to move to do something! he kisses your back, sweetly whispering that if you just finished that last assignment he was all yours.
you're scrambling to submit the stupid thing, but also to do it properly. lewis hated it when you'd rush through something and get a low score, his baby just had to be patient and read the instructions! and when you do get that 100% as a grade for the assignment, lewis bucks his hips and you're mewling at each thrust,
"i got you baby, it's time for me to reward you" he giggles, thrusting into you faster as your moans bounce off the walls of your room.
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