#but I’ve finally learned how to draw it and I’ve grown attached to it
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after a decade the dormant ghost trick brain rot has re-emerged. it’s terminal
#ghost trick#ghost trick fanart#sissel#lynne#my art#fun fact ghost trick was a major influence on my art style#in case you couldn’t tell#I love the character design of the man in red he’s so Sharp™️#I used to hate his banana hair (i still kinda do)#but I’ve finally learned how to draw it and I’ve grown attached to it#oh and excuse my horrid handwriting#I might clean it up later#so tempted to make a discord to stream ghost trick once the remaster drops
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The Afternoon Sun
Four was gravely injured in a monster attack, and it took everything Hyrule had to save him. Two days on, the smithy finally learns of the strange place he’s ended up in: Faron’s basin.
(This is concurrent with The Morning Sun, but it can be read on its own)
AO3
In Four’s brief moments of wakefulness, a strange blue creature towers over him…and there’s water all around…he’s in water. Why?
“Don’t worry, Link. You’re safe…”
He has no choice anyway, the smithy remembers as he floats in and out. He can’t leave…he doesn’t know what’s going on. Briefly he is met with the blurry face of the veteran standing in front of him, but even that doesn’t last long as his eyes slowly slip closed again.
“Four…”
“No- don’t fall asleep…yet…”
The next time he stirs, his body is still overcome with weakness, but he has gained just enough awareness to truly think, of what in Hylia’s name could have happened for him to end up here. He whines as his mind draws a blank.
Then a voice sounds from above.
“Ah! Back again, little Link. You with me, boy?”
Four slowly peels his eyes open. The familiar-looking giant blue creature from earlier- or at least a blurry distortion of it- peers down at him from above. He’s still partially submerged in water, with dark walls curving up over him in a circular shape.
Where…exactly am I?
What is that thing??
He grunts, trying and failing to blink the blurriness out of his vision. His body is still incredibly drained…although he must have been asleep for quite a while. The water drips and ripples slightly around him, as the creature extends her arm forward and dips what looks to be two fingers in. Testing the waters, he presumes. But why? Why is he in water?
Must not be regular water.
“Still warm enough…” it mutters, raising its arm back up. “Boy, please speak if you can hear me, will you? It does no good talking to myself.”
…But what kind of water is this?
Four hesitates. The creature wants him to speak; he must not leave it waiting.
“Wh- who are you…?” he croaks, voice incredibly dry. He tries to clear his throat but simply coughs instead. Damn…All this water around yet his mouth still feels like a desert.
“Ah, I suppose I have yet to introduce myself. Now that you seem coherent enough, I shall.” The creature’s blurry face begins to focus a little, showing dark eyes and purplish lips against the pale blue. Two long string-like antennae wave around the sides of her head. “I am Lady Faron, the Water Dragon and warden of the woods. You, young boy, are in my hall within the lake. Now don’t worry, you’re safe here with me.”
Faron…He’s heard that name before. But where…?
The smithy frowns, raising a hand out of the water to touch his forehead. “…And why am I-“
“In my basin, you ask?” Faron chuckles. “That one’s easy. It’s to heal you. In case you don’t remember, you were gravely injured.”
…Oh.
A faint memory drifts in, of his inability to parry a monster’s sharp blade. I was stabbed.
“I…I do.” Four groans, eyebrow furrowing as he starts to make out more of Faron’s features. “You…saved me?”
“Now, boy, don’t give me all the credit here. Another of your companions used all his magic to close your wounds. That is what saved you. But you were still far too weak….” She pauses. “The water you are lying in is my sacred water, which acts as a healing bath.”
Another of your companions…
Hyrule. It had to be Hyrule.
He drops his hand back into the water, noticing the tingling effects of the dragon’s magical substance.
“So tell me, little Link…how do you feel?”
“I’m…” The questions swim through his head. Where’s Rulie? Why does Faron sound so familiar? “…I’ve been better, just so tired…”
Is Rulie okay?
“Are you in any pain?”
Slowly and gently, he shakes his head, being mindful of the dull ache. “Where’s…Hyrule?”
“Oh, him? He’s resting with the Thunder Dragon in his domain. Don’t worry, he’s in very good hands. Lanayru’s grown quite attached to that boy.”
…Lanayru?
This must be Sky’s era, he realizes.
And something comes to mind about three guardian dragons…Lanayru, Eldin?…and Faron. Of course. Water Dragon. He blames his muddled brain for not putting the pieces together earlier.
“Is…anyone else here?” he manages. “…Legend?” Yes. The vet was here, right?
“I’m sorry, I don’t follow.” Faron frowns, glancing around the rest of the hall which Four cannot see from the basin. “It’s only you and me. Well…and my Kikwis.”
Your- what??
A small splash comes from his right. Slowly the confused smithy turns his head, as far as he can without dipping his face in the water. Something is there next to him. Something like…a very weird-looking- what?? It stares at him with cute eyes and chuckles, opening its bird-like beak slightly.
“Wh-“ Four startles. “-what the hell is that thing??”
Faron only laughs. “Ah, little Link, I assume it’s your first Kikwi encounter. Now don’t worry, he won’t harm you. If he does, boy, tell me and he’s dinner!”
He coughs from the effort of raising his voice, gazing at the little Kikwi playing in the shallow water. What even are those??
And what was that about dinner?
“No…I won’t eat that…whatever it is.” Four mutters, turning his head back to face Faron.
“Oh, you wouldn’t be eating him!” The Water Dragon grins mischievously. “I will.”
Suddenly it all clicks.
It’s her. Faron. That bitchy dragon who eats things smaller than her. And Four is quite a bit smaller—
Oh no.
This can’t be good.
Too weak to sit up fully, he flails his hands and attempts to scamper back, startling the poor Kikwi. “Nonono…” he squeaks out. “Donteatmedonteatmedonteatmedont-“
“Hey, relax!” Faron’s eyes widen. “Did I say I was going to eat you?”
“No, but…I’ve heard things-“
“Of course you have. My Link must have put that idea into your little head.” She scoffs. “Four, I won’t eat you. Take my word.”
The smithy takes a deep breath, laying back down into the water, exhausted from the energy he had just used. Beside him the Kikwi chortles.
“You promise?” he asks, almost in a whisper.
“On my life.”
Wow. She’s serious about this. He still doesn’t quite know if he can trust her…but it’s not like he has much of a choice. The walls of the basin are far too high for him to climb out, and she most likely wouldn’t let him leave in his condition.
He lets out a long sigh. “…Okay.”
I guess I’ll trust you.
“Well! I’m glad we got that sorted out.” The Water Dragon laughs, then pauses to think. “You’ve been in my hands for over a day, it would be a shame if we didn’t get along, now, wouldn’t it?”
Four slowly nods his head, feeling the sacred water continue to gradually lessen the ache. The Kikwi steps closer to him and taps his cheek.
“And me too! I’ve been by your side, kwee!”
Wait. Did that Kikwi just talk?!
He gasps in surprise, wide eyes staring at the small creature. “You…you can talk too??”
“Ah yes, they can.” Faron answers first. “I suppose that’s a detail I should have mentioned before.”
The Kikwi giggles. “Sorry to startle you, little Link. I’m Machi, kwee!”
Machi. What an interesting name.
“H-hi…Machi. It’s nice to meet you, um…” The smithy hesitates. “You can call me Four.”
“Like the number, I know! How peculiar. Where did that name come from, kwee?”
Oh Hylia…Four groans in displeasure. Now is not the best time to explain the whole story of the Four Sword and how he can split into four people, it's…Too much. Far too exhausting.
“Now Machi, don’t overwhelm him.” Faron’s voice, for once, relieves him. “He’s too weak for explaining, that can come later.”
Thank goodness.
“Oh…my apologies, kwee.” Machi’s eyes droop slightly, and Four briefly reaches out to pat its belly.
“It’s okay,” he mutters. The small Kikwi smiles before stepping back to glance up at Faron. Why do they say ‘kwee’ all the time?, he wonders. These little creatures are quite peculiar.
Four takes a deep breath, resting his eyes and letting his body relax once more. Normally he would be able to deal with all these new discoveries; he would be fascinated at Faron and the Kikwis and their ways of life. He would ask Faron why this basin is clearly made for her, and if she’s ever had to use it. He would leave the hall and take a swim for a while, studying the marine life in this unfamiliar region and telling Hyrule excitedly about his findings.
But he is far from strong enough…nowhere near his full self. That will all have to wait, too.
“Little Link, you still look quite drained.” Faron comments. Yep, sounds about right. “Perhaps I shall leave you some space. The more you rest, the quicker you will be healed, boy.”
He blinks his eyes back open, giving the Water Dragon a slight smile. “...Fair enough.”
“I’m sure Lanayru will come by soon. When you’re better, he can pick you up and take you back to your little friend…Hyrule.”
His heart flutters at her mention of the Traveler. Magic exhaustion, he remembers. Rulie has never been out for more than a couple days…he should be waking up soon, right? I hope he’s okay.
“How- how long will this take?” he mumbles. “...To heal, I mean.”
“I’ll be straight with you, Four, the wounds you sustained were severe. Your friend’s healing saved your life, but I estimate several more days before you can be up and around.”
Well, that’s just great. Looks like he won’t be leaving this basin anytime soon.
At least Faron and Machi are decent company. He’s heard scary stories about Faron and her threats to eat almost anything, but at this point she clearly won’t do it to him. The Kikwis, weird as they are, seem quite nice. And he can still hope for visits, from one of his brothers or Lanayru.
“...Okay,” he answers, nodding slowly. He can hear Machi playing in the water, still by his side, while Faron grins.
“You’re a strong hero, little Link,” she assures him. “I have faith in you. Now…I’ll be right back, boy. Please let yourself rest, and don’t go anywhere.”
Four chuckles at her comment. “I won’t, thanks.”
Unless someone comes to take him from the basin, he is most definitely not going anywhere.
He waits for her to disappear out of sight, listening to the sound of her diving underwater, before letting out a long sigh. The lingering tiredness is beginning to win over once again…
You’re safe now. You’re okay.
As he slowly drifts off, he pictures the day when he can finally reunite with Hyrule and the others.
#bailey writes#linked universe#lu four#faron the water dragon#skyward sword#sky’s era#machi the kikwi!#poor four he’s so freaked out he’s never seen a Kikwi ever#wait til he sees the Parella…haha#tw injury#(not graphic)#faron can be nice to people guys woooow#she basically calls all the younger links little link#lanayru and hyrule mentioned
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A girl was feeling really nostalgic abt the fact The Stardust Scouts (my magic girl ocs) are nearing 10 years old at this point… so I felt like drawing their oldest designs faithfully + then drawing their current ones beside them :)
I little bit more about each of them in order:
Savannah started off as much shorter, she was the shortest of the group iirc. I decided to make her the tallest one instead after thinking abt how i wanted her to not only be fat but take up a lot of space. She’s the “main” protagonist of the story (in my mind at least, as it stands SDS is more of an ensemble cast) so I wanted to challenge conventions by making my smart leader you root for fat and completely ok with that. Savannah doesn’t have time for fatphobia she has 3 college essays to write before an alien attacks the city
I am really glad I changed Penny’s color scheme over the years, I don’t like how the red hair and purple sweater look together at all. Their style had also grown a lot more brash and eclectic. I think he started as a shy type? You can definitely see it in the original drawings body language. Unbelievable, she is a Mabel Pines crafter extraordinaire at heart and that’s final
Tabitha “congrats on the transition” Brooks has just been slowly shifting further and further toward his current butch look for forever and it rocks. I distinctly remember making SDS originally with the intent of “only having girls so no one tried to ship them with a boy” and I was a little stubborn on that point for a while… but Tabitha said nuts to that and decided otherwise. I honestly think of her original design as being what she looked like as a teen these days, before cutting off all that hair and running off to he/her lesbian all over the place.
Wendy’s always been an interesting struggle, because while she and Savannah have both been a learning exercise in getting black & textured hair right, Wendy specifically loves fashion and styling her hair in different ways every other time I draw her. Her current braided hair is what I default to but I’ve also wrapped it up in buns and given her bantu knots too. Also made it more obvious she dyes her hair, glad I moved away from cheese yellow blonde lol
Olivia! Olivia Olivia Olivia…. Ze has definitely won the award for most dramatic change between the old design & now. I make it no secret ze used to be a Tak from invader zim expy, and I still carry those roots with me as I refine zer look. The blonde hair and the orange signature color are both very recent developments, I used to be so attached to Olivia staying purple that I was detrimentally keeping 2 characters purple instead of letting Olivia have a unique place among the group. Now the only thing that’ll make it obvious ze was ever Tak adjacent is the mole under zer eye & a lot of the backstory I have cooking
Ty for listening to me ramble, pls check out my oc tag Sara ocs or the stardust scouts tag for more abt my precious babies 🥹
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Kamui & Camu's Launch Day CN Message and Gift
Happy birthday to our two precious babies!!! 🎂🎉🎁🥳 I want to draw something for them, but sadly I can't bc busy with works😥 So instead, I tried to translate their message and gift!
(Again, please excuse my grammar and mistranslation if there's any, I've just started to learn mandarin😅)
Mission Notice!
Commandant, it’s been a long time! It’s the first time I’ve communicated with you like this….. What’s it called? “Mail”?
Whatever! It’s pretty much the same anyway, but the feeling of waiting for a response is quite refreshing.
The captain informed that there was a mission to assist the commandant alone, so I immediately took it! The thought of fighting alongside you, fills my body with power!
I’m already looking forward to it! No matter what the mission is, it was all fun with the commandant!
By the time you receive this message, I’m already on my way to the location! It’s time to show you how awesome I am after I’ve grown!
Hehe, see you later!
From: Kamui’s Mail No.1
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Commandant, I’m so happy!
So today’s "mission" was actually a surprise for my launch day! Although I have a little guess, I didn’t expect such a surprise!
And also, you guys’ gift for my launch day, I’ve really been wanting it for a long time! Someone must have seen my browsing history, who is it? Is it the captain? Wanshi? Or…. you, commandant?
I—will—-definitely won’t forget this day!
By the way, do you also have a surprise for Camu? I’m so excited to see how he’ll react! Hehe~
Oh, right, commandant, speaking of gifts, I also have something for you! Although I didn’t make it myself, it's one of my collections that I have treasured for a long time— The Great Sword of Courage! Isn’t it cool!
I’ve been wanting to pick a good time to give it to you sincerely, but it’s always at a bad time, so this time, I can finally take this opportunity to give it to you!
In the world of war, the constructs are warriors, and so are you. When we were charging ahead, Commandant is a warrior, trying your best to protect us from behind, and with that thought, it gave me courage to fight against the future.
Ahem…. Although it’s a bit strange to say thank you so formally, I still want to say thank you, Commandant. Not only for the launch day surprise you gave me today, but it’s also to thank you for protecting the world and us.
From: Kamui’s Mail No.2
Sword and Warrior
Attached with Kamui’s launch day letter, later will be stored in the Commandant’s secret corner.
A weapon that was used most often by the hero in the RPGs prevalent in the Golden Age, but this peripheral model was discontinued a long time ago, it’s something that Kamui himself treasures. The sword is engraved with a line: All in war with time.
He has given you his love, courage and faith along with this sword, without reservation.
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Hmm…. Ahem.
I knew such an event must be your idea, although Kamui and my launch day are on the same day, but unexpectedly that guy didn’t care that much about the date either.
Although I feel like he must be quite expecting some kind of surprise.
Ahem, I didn’t expect you to prepare a special dish for this event…. Even thought it looks stupid, it tastes pretty good, much better than what Chrome, Kamui, and Wanshi did.
Also….. Thank you for the cake you brought, the sweetness of the cream….. It’s been a long time since I’ve tasted it.
It’s been a while since we’ve gotten together like this, the occasional get-togethers like this don’t seem to be annoying as I originally thought.
Is it because I’ve been in this place too long that I've become weak, or is it something else? I can’t believe I feel the world is not so annoying….
Tsk, I originally ordered dinner, but since you ruined my plan, these cheap meals are for you, no need to thank me too much.
From: Camu’s Mail No.1
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———Don’t eat what was in that lunchbox!
Oi! Are you an idiot? How can you put anything in your stomach?!
Thankfully, I found out in time, or else I would have been court-martialed for “murdering a commandant”.
The lunchbox just now….. Ahem, you guys cook something to celebrate my launch day, so I don’t think cooking looks that complicated.
But…. that first box of fried rice burnt a little, I intended to throw it and buy some more, but I took the wrong lunch box…. Who knew that you would eat it!
Ahem, I don’t think you ate any of it so far. This time, I packed a lunch box with the Golden Egg and Hell Rice and Cheese Biscuits from the restaurant at the commercial district, something I had planned to eat tonight, and I already checked that it should be okay.
Is it just me? This launch day is a mess. But…. It feels like it’s coming together.
…..Well, after causing the trouble, it seems like there's going to be some "compensation" to make up for it?
There’s a new restaurant I want to try, so I’ll use you as a guinea pig. I’ve made dinner reservations for the next week, and I’ll be waiting for you there every day at dinner time.
See you tomorrow.
From: Camu’s Mail No.2
Lunch box
Attached with Camu’s launch day letter, later will be stored in the Commandant’s secret corner.
The lunchboxes distributed by Babylonia, unique and iconic with Camu’s secondary creation. The heat-insulating alloy material provides excellent insulation, the first layer of the lunchbox is crammed with a few cheese biscuits, the second layer was filled with Camu’s favorite Golden Eggs and Hell Rice, which indeed look like Camu had packed a dinner for himself. But if it’s true that Camu is preparing to eat it himself, why didn’t he add the double spice he always asked for?
Yes, Kamui's gift really said 'love'. It's literally written 热爱 which mean 'deep affection' or 'deep love'.
#punishing: gray raven#punishing gray raven#pgr#pgr cn#pgr kamui#pgr camu#!!!!!!!#look at that little camu sticker#you don't know how hard i squeal while translating this#fck i just want to give the world to them i love youuuuuuuuuu#orion shittalk
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COIN TOSS– PART II
(18+ MINORS DNI)
PART I
PAIRINGS: Tomura Shigaraki x Reader, a little Shouta Aizawa x Reader
SUMMARY: As you fall asleep, you wonder faintly, almost sadly, if you’re the first thing he’s fully touched without losing in a long time.
You are Eraserhead’s troubled protege with a Quirk that cancels out others the moment they touch you. Tomura Shigaraki takes great interest in you.
(Enemies to lovers, a lot of angst, some hurt/comfort)
WARNINGS: Unhealthy/complicated relationships, age gap/power struggle, violence, gore, Tomura’s trauma specifically, (in later chapters) murder, heroes’ abuse of power, smut, some blurred lines, rough sex, a smidge of a spit kink, a smidge of somnophilia (let me know if I’ve missed anything!)
If you are under the age of 18, you should not be reading or interacting with this!
A/N: again, thank you @randomrosewrites for beta-ing!! and thank you guys for the support and comments on the first part! here is your part two!! it's tomura heavy, but for those who love shouta, there's a lot of him in the final part! i hope you enjoy! let me know what you thought!
i also am obsessed with making playlists for when i write and i spend far too much time organizing it all and making sure the songs blend together so if you'd like to take a look at the playlist i made for this fic, it's here!
Read on Ao3
***
Shouta, like the responsible adult he is, soothes things out with you. Well, it doesn’t feel very soothed to you, but Shouta’s made his position clear and you’ve both returned to some semblance of normalcy.
He keeps his distance.
You try not to overstep, but you’re aching and furious.
(You’re holding a secret, too, letting it tear apart your insides, letting it turn circles in your mind until all you can think about is the chill of rain, the bite of a desperate kiss).
You hate that Shouta has retreated from you now. You hate that he’ll stop his hand before reaching out to touch you, like he always has to make sure, like he has to decide if that will be good for you. If you can handle it.
You feel shockingly alone.
You lash out at him more, bicker and argue over things you never used to. You don’t even know why you do it, can’t stop yourself from trying to dig into him. You regret it every time when all he gives you is impassiveness, levelheaded coolness. An adult speaking with an unruly child. He’s good at that, unfortunately.
Some days you want to beg him for answers. Why can’t you love me the way I love you? Is it me? How would you have me? If I was older? I can be more mature, I can be better and better and better–
His undercover work grows greater, draws him away from both you and Shinsou more. Shouta seems to ghost around your life now, drawn away from you, keeping a very careful space between you both.
But there are nights where he tells you to train with Shinsou alone now. You feel responsible. Mature. You glow with pride that he can trust you with one of his students, that you could be a mentor to Shinsou, too.
You grow closer to Shinsou because of this, too, when it’s just the two of you in the gym.
There is one evening in particular, when you’re both sprawled out on the floor taking a too-long water break because Shouta isn’t around when he admits that he used to be– still is sometimes– feared for his Quirk.
He tells you everyone expected him to be a villain.
“I used to be a thief,” you admit, “I was a petty villain, I guess.”
Shinsou looks at you and if he’s surprised, he doesn’t entirely show it, except for the lifting of his brows. You don’t sense judgement from him, though, when he asks, “Really?”
You take another swig of water, humming in affirmation. You swallow, “I was homeless, had no money, nothing. I was stealing from a supermarket when Shouta caught me.”
“You were just trying to survive,” Shinsou adds, like he’s trying to justify the crime, like it soothes him to know there was a good reason for a misdeed.
“Sure,” you reply, fiddling with your water bottle, “But I stole things I didn’t need, too. Just things I wanted.”
“But you’ve changed,” Shinsou says and you can’t tell if he’s trying to reassure himself or you more. “You’re a hero now.”
“Only because my circumstances changed. I was given a roof over my head, food to fill me. Clothes of my own that fit and weren��t torn. I was accepted.” You explain, “If it hadn’t been for Shouta, I would never have become a hero.”
Shinsou is silent, watching you.
“I’d probably be in jail. Or still a thief, in the least, if any other hero would’ve caught me.”
You don’t know why, but you think of Shigaraki suddenly. You think of how young some of the League of Villains are. You wonder if it had been them who offered you food and a home, if you’d be with them now, and not here, sitting on the floor of a nice, sparkling gym attached to U.A.’s dorms.
Something strange grows inside you, something a little bitter. It simmers with sympathy for them, for their lives. For kids like Shinsou with their villainous quirks. You wonder if he’d been poor, if he’d been alone, would he be here, too? Or somewhere else?
“But you were good before,” he says, and it almost feels naive, “I know you’re good.”
You shrug, “Good is relative, you know? I thought I was good because I didn’t kill people, I didn’t steal from other poor people, but society didn’t think I was good. I was still a thief.”
“But you were only a thief because you needed to survive.” he says again, “When given the chance, you changed and became a hero.”
“Exactly.” you say, “How many villains do you think just needed a chance?”
Shinsou goes silent now. His brows furrow in thought, pinching together in a way that makes him look a little too old for his age. You think all of the kids at U.A. grow up too quickly, all of them with too much on their small shoulders.
They’re only kids.
You’re barely older.
Shigaraki is barely older than you.
You push him out of your mind, toss your water bottle aside, and rise to your feet again. “C’mon,” you offer Shinsou your hand to help him up, too, “Shouta would kill me to know I let you lay around so much.”
This seems to pull him from his thoughts and he snorts, taking your hand.
You pull him up. And you both stare at each other a moment. You think he looks at you in a different light now and it isn’t bad, no, he seems to be pondering you more.
(And you’ll realize later that he’s become more sympathetic, that he sees you in villains now, reminds himself they’re people, too, with lives and needs and wants–)
It gives you a strange hope, as you begin to train with him again, to know that he’s the future of hero society.
***
Tomura spots you while he’s out stealing with Toga. Usually it’s Twice or Magne with her, but Twice was onto something else and Toga had decided to latch herself onto him for the day. He’s grown to tolerate her.
Besides, she’d managed to steal him a jean jacket, dark, rough, and worn with holes but it keeps him warmer while still being able to keep the hood of his sweatshirt up to hide himself. To blend in. She’d stolen herself something, too, as the weather begins to get colder and they still don’t have a base, wandering aimlessly.
(He feels stupidly responsible for them. But he’s learned good leaders are, in some way, responsible for their people. They don’t have to care in any way that is emotional, but they have to care in some way, make the group feel important to them. And begrudgingly, they are important to him–)
You’re with a boy around Toga’s age. Wild violet hair. You’re laughing at something he’s saying and you’re sharing street food, he thinks, something that’s warm, steaming up into the air.
He feels a vicious surge of jealousy for a moment. It’s so sharp and jarring that he reaches up to scratch at his neck, tearing into his skin.
But the boy looks too young and you tousle his hair like he’s a younger brother, not someone romantic. While there’s familiarity between you two, it’s not overly intimate.
Toga, unfortunately, follows his line of sight.
She looks between him and you. She tilts her head and Tomura can practically see the gears turning in her strange little mind.
“Do you know them?” she asks, almost innocently.
He doesn’t know why, but he says, “Just her.”
Toga looks back at you. She watches as you talk with the boy– the sun through the autumn leaves cast you in tangerine light, all golden and warm.
When she looks back at Tomura, a smile creeps onto her face. One that he knows is going to give him a migraine.
“She’s so pretty,” she trills, eyeing him too closely.
Tomura scratches at his neck again, harder, wincing a little when he feels a cut reopen.
“Do you have a crush, Tomura?” Toga sings, dancing in front of him to force herself into his line of sight.
“No,” Tomura snaps, bristling, which only seems to encourage her.
“Let’s say hi!” she says, about to bound off and Tomura catches her by the scruff of her jacket like a kitten. He’s wearing his partial gloves, but he still keeps a finger away from her.
“No,” he hisses, firmer now, pulling her back towards him. “They’re heroes. Don’t get distracted.”
Toga twists in his hold, wide-eyed for a moment, before her face settles into another enormous and excited smile. “You’re in love with a hero, too?!”
Tomura grits his teeth, snarling out, “I’m not in love with anyone.” He shakes her then and she yelps a little, “Now focus. We need food and I don’t want to deal with them.”
Toga finally squirms her way out of his hold, pouting at him, “You’re no fun.” she whines and all he does is shoulder past her. He stalks ahead, trying not to look at you again, if only to not draw your eye.
“Do you want to starve?” he asks waspishly, glancing at Toga over his shoulder.
She huffs, rolling her eyes, before hustling to catch up to him. She hums a strange little tune the rest of the time, knocking into his side, throwing him new looks as if to suggest they share some sort of commonality or secret. He grits his teeth but suffers through her torment.
When they return to the rest of the League with what they’d stolen, Toga announces to the whole group, “Tomura is in love with a hero, too!”
The migraine that had begun earlier in his temples reaches full force now. He doesn’t bother trying to deny it. He decides he doesn’t care.
Dabi’s laugh grates on him, though, “Is that so? Which little hero?” he asks Toga, and just as she’s skipping past him, he snags her, snatching the granola bar she’d had in her hand from their little raid.
She turns to grab it back and he pulls it out of her reach, “I don’t know! Give that back!” she squawks, clawing at him.
She must really dig at him because Dabi hisses, “You little twerp–” Just before Magne snatches the outstretched granola bar from Dabi’s hand. She hands it back to Toga, who quickly rushes off with it now.
And thankfully, for Tomura’s sanity, you’re not brought up again.
But he hadn’t noticed you– hadn’t noticed the way you’d seen him with Toga, too. Just a girl Shinsou’s age, following after him like an eager puppy.
Shinsou had trailed beside you like that, too, when you’d both walked back to U.A. with full bellies and new coffees in hand, warm and content.
***
There is a night where Shouta is out doing work undercover and you’re left to patrol on your own. You can’t take Shinsou yet, since he hasn’t earned his provisional license. You don’t mind these nights, by yourself, when you stick to shadows and rooftops, watching the city from above.
It’s cooler now and you tuck your face into the high collar of your hero uniform to hide from the wind that brushes past.
It’s been a quiet night so far. There are other, flashier heroes patrolling, too, meandering around the sidewalks to deter petty crime.
You check the time on your phone, noting that you have a little less than an hour until your shift is over, until you can go home and take a hot shower in an attempt to warm yourself up– especially your fingers, the tips of your ears.
You stretch, standing on one of the low roofs of a building. You’re stiff from crouching, so you decide to move around, change position. You use a grappling tool to shoot it onto a higher roof of the next building. You scale the bricks easily and once safely up, retract your grappling hook.
You look out over the quiet city, the golden light of lampposts, the meandering of cars through the streets. Some restaurants and bars are still open, their windows look warm and inviting with the flush of people inside.
You waste most of the last hour of your shift trying to remain warm, keeping a careful eye on the world below.
Towards the end, you notice a familiar figure in one of the alleyways down below. You don’t even see his face, just the back of his hoodie, just the angle of his shoulders.
Just the way he walks.
The thought should frighten you– that you know him like this, that you’re familiar with just the movement of his body.
Shigaraki Tomura walks away from the soft light of the main city, slips away into alleyways and darkness. You glance at the time. Your shift is nearly over.
This counts as hero work, doesn’t it? Silently following after him?
You drop down onto a fire escape– leap off to latch onto a lower window sill, until you’re dropping silently on to the ground a distance away from him.
You are careful to keep away from him, to use everything Shouta taught you about stealth to remain hidden. And you know Shigaraki is observant, you know he’s always looking over his shoulder so you have to stick to hidden places– behind dumpsters, ducking into alcoves of buildings.
He heads back to the part of the city you grew up in, where everything is falling apart, where there are plenty of abandoned buildings for hiding, plenty of places for runaway teens and homeless to sleep. The cheapest apartments, the streets that are the least patrolled by heroes and police alike, where parts of the Yakuza groups are bolder.
These streets are familiar to you. It’s a strange trip down memory lane.
You think of the last time you saw Shigaraki and flush darkly– it was around here, too, what happened that night.
Still, you follow him because you think you still have some upper hand. Maybe he’ll lead you to the rest of the League of Villains. For a heartbeat, you wonder if you’ll tell Shouta, if you’ll tell the Hero Commissions– you’d have to, right? That isn’t some little squirmish. That’s important information.
But he doesn’t lead you to the rest of the League.
He leads you to an apartment building, small and falling apart on the outside. A window is boarded up poorly. There are stray cats that linger around the side, where the trash is. You’re sure there are rats and bugs, too. You’re sure the building is one bad day away from falling apart.
Shigaraki pauses by the door that is nearly falling off its hinges.
He glances over his shoulder, “Are you following me in, too?”
Your heart kicks up, hammering against the inside of your chest. You swallow hard, internally cursing.
For all your effort of stealth, he still noticed you?
Well, there’s no use lying about it now.
You step around the corner you’d been hiding behind, moving towards the glow of a street light that flickers in and out of power to reveal yourself fully to him.
“When did you notice me?” you ask, peering at him, at the shape of him in the dark.
You catch the lifting of his scar when he smiles, just a baring of teeth, “I saw you on the roof.”
Damn, you curse again, you’ll have to work on that, “That bad, huh?”
He shrugs gracelessly, lifting of his shoulders only for them to fall unevenly, “If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have known. You were silent otherwise.”
It feels like a compliment– a generous one, coming from him. You don’t know why you have to hold off a smile.
He turns back to the door, shouldering it open. He walks through the archway without another word. He leaves it open and it seems there is no light on the inside, just a blackness that swallows up your vision. He disappears inside.
You stand there, beneath the light that flickers in and out, eyeing the doorway. You could go now, run back home to Shouta, to the Hero Commission and tell them you think you know where he stays, you have a lead on him. You look behind you, glance at the alleyway you came from with it’s’ dull, fluorescent lights that splash against the concrete, that barely fight against the shadows.
You look back towards where Shigaraki had been, the entrance to the building.
You’d probably even get extra little hero points for it from the Commission.
Shouta would be proud of you.
For bringing them to this dilapidated, shabby little apartment complex that rests on the streets of the place you used to call home.
You swallow hard, flex your freezing fingers.
Then you step towards the doorway, peer inside carefully. You hold your breath and the door creaks quietly when you cross it’s threshold, into the darkness.
Tomura is mildly surprised when he hears the door creak behind him. He can feel you, even in the dark of this hallway, the tentative steps you take after him. They’re almost shy.
But you followed him, didn’t you?
You followed and followed and followed him– and of course you did, he thinks, you had kissed him back, hadn’t you?
He supposes you could be playing a part, trying to get close to him but his intuition tells him differently, not with the genuine reaction you’d had. Your sudden guilt for giving in to him. Still, he’ll be careful around you.
He’ll probably have to move again, which would be a shame, since he has already killed the tenant of this apartment– he’d been sure they wouldn’t be missed by anyone, made sure he’d have time. He did the work to get it, thought he’d have it for just long enough until the League made another move.
He almost wants to test you, see if you’re going to run and tattle on his location. He wonders how far you’re willing to follow him.
Tomura walks steadily down the hallway, to the apartment he has taken claim to. He unlocks the door, hands in his partial gloves, shoving it with his shoulder to then enter. He leaves it open for you.
The apartment is a studio, shabby and the heat isn’t amazing, but it has hot water and a lack of bugs in this particular room. It has furniture– a bed, specifically, was all he had cared about. There’s empty wrappers of food and cans of energy drinks on the counters because he doesn’t really bother to pick up after himself but otherwise, the space isn’t his. There’s nothing else of his, besides some spare clothes on the floor.
And still, you follow him here, too. But you stand at the doorway, peeking inside.
He glances at you and is reminded of a fox, something with clever eyes but wary, a little skittish– would bite if he got too close too soon.
So he gives you space, just like he let you leave.
If there’s one thing Tomura has learned, it’s patience. Any good plan takes patience. The reward is always sweeter. The longer and harder the level, the greater the wins.
He ignores you, puts even more distance between the two of you as he wanders further in. He flicks on lights. He takes off his shoes, shrugs off his jean jacket and throws it over the couch. He gives the appearance of carelessness, of letting his guard down. Non threatening.
And you take your fist shy step inside. The door behind you remains ajar, though, for escape.
Tomura has to fight a terrifying smile, fight the sudden twisting in his heart, the inhale of his breath.
“I don’t know how wise it was of you to bring a hero to your home.” you finally speak, cutting through the silence. You’re trying to be witty, but he can tell you’re nervous.
“This isn’t my home,” he answers.
Home, with it’s round and warm syllabus, is not what he thinks of this place.
You eye him some more, but before you can respond, he says, “I don’t know how wise it was of you to follow a villain into his home.”
“I thought it wasn’t your home,” you quip and he only gives you a dry look.
Your bravado is wavering, especially when the door clicks shut behind you, your hand finally falling to your side.
And the two of you are sealed away from the outside world.
“Why did you bring me here?” you ask him and your voice is deceptively quiet. Small.
“Why did you follow me?” he asks in return.
You inhale like you’re trying to steady yourself, “Because I’m supposed to.”
Tomura smiles now, something lazy, almost amused. He knows it’s a lie, can feel it slide along his skin, can see the floundering, desperate look in your eyes.
“Why did you follow me?” he asks again, forcing himself not to move, not to step towards you in his budding excitement. Patience, he tells himself, be patient.
“Why did you kiss me?” you ask instead and the question is raw, as if it’s plagued you, haunted you like an insistent ghost. Crept around in the back of your mind, growing teeth and fangs and spindly, lampshade bat wings large enough to terrify you.
The idea that he’s taken root in your mind in the same way you have infested his is near dizzying.
Tomura weighs his answers carefully. He’s silent for a long moment and it’s heavy, charged with something that he can’t name– has never felt before.
When he speaks, his voice is just a rasp of breath, a little more honest than he’d like, a touch annoyed with the truth, “Because I wanted to.”
Another long stretch of silence where you watch him carefully, where he can see your chest rising and falling too quickly. He can see that frightened look in the rounding of your eyes, the high flush in your cheeks.
And when you speak again, it’s hardly louder than a whisper, like it’s all you can manage,“Do you want to kiss me again?”
It is far too gentle of a question for what he wants– it almost feels innocent, juvenile. Out of place between the two of you. But he’ll take it, he’ll take whatever you give him and then some.
He takes a step towards you. You don’t flinch away so he takes another, then another, until he is standing in front of you. You’re close now– so close that he has to force air into his lungs. He reminds himself of patience, of waiting–
He could take whatever he wanted from you now, he supposes, but he doesn’t want to have to wrestle you for it. He wants it given freely, he wants you to kiss back, like you had before. He wants you to willingly submit and it’s taken longer but it’ll be sweeter, so much sweeter.
“Are you going to run away again?” he asks and he can feel his heart quicken, the squeezing of it awful and tight.
You look up at him in a way that reminds him of his dreams, the ones he pretends to hate, where you make those small, soft noises. Where you let him touch you and taste you and have you.
And you shake your head no, just fractionally, the barest hint of movement but it’s enough for him.
The force of his kiss slams you back against the door. You make a surprised noise against him as he crushes himself to you. It’s just as violent as the first, but this time you take back what he gives. You get your bearings quicker, like you’ve learned a lesson already. He grins into the kiss, opening it, when he feels your little hands clawing at his shoulders, at his back.
He groans when you part your lips for him, when you lick tentatively into his mouth. He possesses you, bears onto you, pinning you to the door as his hands, still gloved, curl around your sides, your hips.
Your hero costume is tight, fits the curves of you snugly and in a way that’s making him nearly insane. He isn’t careful, doesn’t care if he’s moving too fast now as his hands roam and grab and squeeze. There’s layers between you, he naturally keeps a finger lifted away.
One of your hands tightens in his hair, pulling when he bites your bottom lip.
But you don’t seem to mind, either, with the way your breath is hitching, with the way you’re trying to pull him closer, desperately fuse him to you.
Your lips are so soft, he notices, even with the forcefulness with which you’re kissing him back.
It feels surreal for a moment, like one of his dreams, when he parts from your mouth only to slot his lips against your jaw, your neck. A whine is loosened from you, which breaks when he sets teeth to the vulnerable line of your throat.
Your hands are in his hair still, body arching into him eagerly. Youthful in your earnestness.
You’re better than anything he could’ve ever imagined, so alive and rosy and warm beneath his hands, beneath his mouth, which is making a mess of your neck. A particular hard suck over the sensitive line of your pulse makes you pull at his hair.
“Don’t leave a mark,” you hush and he thinks you meant to sound more threatening, but it’s softened by the desperation in your voice.
He scoffs into your throat, dragging teeth roughly along your skin.
“Shigaraki–”
“Tomura.” he corrects without thinking, finally pulling away to look at you, which is almost a mistake because you–
You’re flushed, lips kiss stung and pink, all swollen. Your head is tipped back, exposing the column of your throat, hair mussed with being pressed to the door so roughly. Your eyes are hazy and fever pink with your Quirk activated, like spring flowers, glowing in the low light.
He thinks of paintings and colors and dreams, something like beauty, if he knew anything about that.
And he’s so hard it hurts, teeth grinding together as he looks at you because he can’t even fucking stomach this feeling.
Then you repeat his name for him, “Tomura.”
He’s never heard his name like that, bedroom soft, more of a lullaby and less of a tragedy. He feels like he’s going to shake apart, his body to become just old ruins– he feels as if it’ll collapse inwards, topple over to crush his heart.
Where he’s usually seething and livid and clawing ruthlessly, the festering feeling in his chest is replaced with a new energy; something bursting and squirming and warm. His Quirk lies dormant and docile inside of him with your hand in his hair, your other now at his neck, fingers pressing lightly at his jaw.
It’s terrifying, he realizes, to not feel his Quirk at the edges of his fingers.
(It’s freeing, too, he’ll come to find, to not feel it’s weight, it’s demand that had been encouraged and shaped in him.)
You’re both trying to catch your breaths, looking at each other now. His fingers, still gloved, flex and squeeze at your waist, like he’s scared you’ll run off again.
You inch forward instead, rock onto the tips of your toes to press your lips to his again– softer this time, but no less heated, no less desperate.
He thinks you must be starving, too, with the way you pull him close. His mouth slants over yours, demanding more, a little rougher.
You squirm against the door, the slightest rocking of your hips– he can feel it against his thigh, against his waist. It makes him hiss out a breath against your lips, makes him grab harder at your waist, force you to do it again, harder this time.
You whine and it’s the snapping of his patience.
He reaches for the zipper at the back of your hero uniform, gives it a rough tug, pulling it down some. And then you’re pushing at him, nudging him away from the door and it’s a flurry of movement as you yank at his hoodie while he pulls at your clothes. You’re both stumbling further into the room, towards the bed pushed back into the corner.
Tomura feels young suddenly– feels his age. He feels like a twenty something year old with a girl in his apartment who wants his hoodie off. Who's kissing him hard in between every article of clothing that manages to come off.
He sits back on the edge of the bed to ease the rest of your cat-suit down. He watches with interest as you wiggle your hips to help him get the fabric down over you– and it’s nothing romantic, he doesn’t kiss the newly revealed skin, he doesn’t gently run his fingertips over you, but you grow shy under his gaze.
You’re still in undergarments, athletic slips of fabric, but his eyes fly over your face. You’re nervous, he can nearly feel it, with the way you shift, with the way you catch your bottom lip between your teeth and worry it.
A thought strikes him.
“Have you done this before?” he rasps, hooking his hand in the crux of your knee to drag your forward so you nearly fall into his lap.
“Yes,” you grit out, arms coming up to his shoulders to steady yourself. “Once.” you then shakily exhale.
He doesn’t particularly care– your answer wouldn’t have changed how he’d treat you. He’s not going to be gentler nor slower because you’re less experienced.
“Have you?” you ask, eyeing him, fingers nervously toying with the ends of his hair.
“Yes,” he says, perhaps too sharply, but he gives no other information and you don’t press him, which he’s thankful for. He doesn’t have the patience for useless questions.
Rather, he pulls you down harder, so your bare thighs finally settle into his lap. He slides his gloved hands up the notches of your ribs to hitch beneath your bra. That comes off, too, and then he’s got his hands on you more. You gasp, arching into his touch when his fingers curl around a breast, fingers roughly brushing over the peak.
He doesn’t think anymore, just acts, just moves and does as he pleases. All the things he’s done in dreams or in his mind– he sets lips and teeth to your breast, tongue laving over your nipple. He forces your squirming still with an arm banded around your torso, keeping you flush to his eager mouth.
You yelp in pain when he uses his teeth too roughly, trying to jerk away from him but you can’t with his hold on you. He grins, mouth opening, spit slick and wet against your breast again. He groans against you when you pull on his hair.
But then he twists you, throws you down onto the bed only to crawl over you. He yanks at your panties just as you pull him down for another kiss– maybe to distract yourself, to settle your nerves. When you pull away, you’re on your back and he’s over you, your legs hitching over his narrow waist. His hands are on your thighs and you–
You suddenly grab for his hands.
“Take off your gloves,” you get out, breathless, and before he can respond, your fingers are sliding against his wrist, up to his hand, beneath the glove and against his palm.
It makes him shiver, makes him grit his teeth. You pull off one, then the other.
For a moment, he just looks at you all spread out and bare for him, his hands now open and uncovered, too.
You squirm under his scrutinizing gaze.
“C’mon,” you coax and he thinks you’re trying to find your bravado, “Touch me.”
There’s nothing between his hands and your skin now and he settles his palm on your stomach, beneath your breast.
He naturally keeps a finger lifted away.
“Tomura,” your voice is pitched, almost pleading, “You’re not going to hurt me– c’mon.”
He tenses for a moment, eyes flashing over your face. For a moment, his heart stumbles, he grows wary. He thinks of you slipping away beneath his touch, falling away into nothing and all he’d have is a bed of ashes.
But your eyes are bright with your Quirk.
His final finger comes down. Nothing happens, except you smile a little, except you arch up into his touch– alive and vivid and furiously warm.
He feels like he can’t breathe, can’t even function.
He catches a groan behind his teeth, falls forward as his hands become feverish and possessive, suddenly confident, suddenly brash– touching and squeezing and grabbing at you.
His teeth clank with yours as he tumbles into another kiss. You’re needier now, making those higher pitched noises that used to haunt him.
It drives him insane, makes him feel half feral, overeager and desperate. His fingers wander lower, seeking and searching, just as the kiss grows in intensity again. It’s messier, all open mouth and tongue.
When he pulls away, a string of spit connects the two of you and he lets more of the saliva pooling in his mouth drip down with it, letting it fall between your open lips, some on your bottom lip, too. It’s depraved and dirty and his eyes simmer as he gazes down at you.
Your face scrunches up as you go to wipe at your mouth, and he hates it because all he can think of is how cute that face is.
“Gross,” you mewl, but his fingers finally move between your legs and–
And all he finds is that you’re hot and slick for him.
He has to grit his teeth to keep from moaning.
But you nearly cry at the touch, a pathetic little noise, hips jolting like you’re not sure if you want to go towards his touch or away.
“Gross, huh?” Tomura asks, voice low, the pad of his finger sliding easily, teasing you slowly before he goads, “Why are you so wet then?”
He sinks a finger in suddenly– just because he can. Just because he wants to watch your face screw up again, which it does, your mouth falling open, eyes squeezing shut.
“Hm?” he hums, amused with the way you’re gasping beneath him. He starts a slow but deep rhythm and–
And he’s had sex before, a handful of times, but it’d always been for him. He hadn’t cared how the other person felt, hadn’t cared to try and get them off. But now he suddenly wishes he had learned, if only for you, now. He wants you as obsessed as he is, wants you to feel as maddened as he feels.
Thankfully, you’re so expressive. And he doesn’t have to worry about his fingers. He can find the spot inside you that makes you toss your head back into the sheets and moan for him, he can focus on the way you keen when he finds your clit with his thumb.
You’re a sensitive little thing, clawing at his bare shoulders, whining into his neck. He forces in another finger and you start rocking your hips, growing more desperate until–
“Fuck,” you gasp, “Fuck, I’m going to–”
He curls his fingers harder, watching your face as you fall apart, as you try and twist and squirm beneath him. He forces you through it, isn’t gentle, but selfish, wringing everything he can from you.
And when he’s finished watching you whimper and feeling you flutter and gush around his fingers, he takes them out only to force them between your lips.
Once more your face screws up, but you close your mouth around them and he groans low and raw. You look hazy, drooling all over his fingers, lashes fluttering prettily.
He uses his other hand to fumble with his belt, to work his pants down low enough for his cock, aching so bad that he swears he’s going to go insane–
He pulls his fingers from your mouth, watching the mess that comes with it, so wet and slick and shiny. He can’t help the growl he gives, before covering his mouth with yours again.
As you kiss, sloppy and desperate, Tomura slides the head of his cock against you and you’re so slippery and soft and molten for him that his next moan tapers off into a whine.
You pull away fractionally, “Shouldn’t we–”
He thinks maybe you were about to ask about protection of some kind, but he shoves inside you hard, breaches your body and watches as your eyes roll back, just about to cross as your nails turn sharp against his back.
You moan, low and drawn out.
He can’t help the absurd laugh that is wretched from him, his head dropping onto your neck as he snaps his hips forward. He can’t believe he’s actually gotten you here, in his bed, beneath him– let him inside where you’re so warm and soft.
“Fuck,” you gasp, maybe laced with pain, clawing at him, raking your nails down his back.
“Does it hurt?” he hisses, excited, his teeth coming down to close over your exposed neck.
“Yes,” you get out, almost a whimper, “Feels good, too.”
He snaps his hip forwards roughly, grinding deep as he laughs again when you just about sob into his shoulder.
You latch your teeth onto the vulnerable juncture between his neck and his shoulder, where you’d already laid claim to him once before.
He wrestles for your wrist, the one he broke, and forces it down onto the bed.
“Look at you,” he almost snarls, voice low and gravely, “Little hero letting me fuck her.”
You gasp when he angles his hips, when his other hand reaches beneath you, to fist a hand in your hair and pull so your neck is arched and exposed to him.
“I used to dream of this,” he admits roughly, the confession like a curse being spit out of his mouth, “Wanted to stalk you or possess you or–” he groans because he can feel how you’re throbbing around him, how slick you are for him, “Wanted to fucking ruin you–”
He pulls at your hair more, tries to get you to look at him through your wet lashes. The flash of pink meets red and his smile is more a cruel bearing of teeth.
“And you feel so much better than I dreamt– fuck, so much tighter–” he babbles as he ruts into you hard and quick. You keen, high and broken, just as he feels you flutter around him again and he almost loses his mind because–
“Are you going to fucking come again?” he growls, pulling harder on your hair.
“Yes,” you groan, “Please, fuck, please, c’mon–” your voice is high and wrecked and all he has to do is angle his hips a few more times before you’re shattering, nearly breaking apart, squeezing down on his cock so tightly that he shudders, that he let’s go of your hair just to focus on his own pleasure.
He doesn’t even realize he’s drooling into your neck, not as he loses his rhythm, as he shoves himself as deep into you as he can and comes hard. Pleasure races up his spine, turns him white-hot and sensitive, making his eyes roll back into his head, too.
You’re both breathing hard when he collapses on top of you. Your fingers, which were once scratching down his back to cause sharp shooting pain, are now surprisingly gentle, slipping back into his hair.
You squirm, fussing slightly– no doubt sore, no doubt aching with him still inside you but he doesn’t move. Doesn’t want to.
He mouths at your neck, feels you sigh, before he moves to cover his mouth with yours again. He kisses you languidly now, slow and deep.
You’re making breathy little noises against him, content and surprisingly soft, your other hand tracing over his side.
(He doesn’t like how much he enjoys this part, the afterglow, all that violence slipping away, expelled from you both–)
Tomura feels his cock twitch inside of you again, feels your hips arch up a little, and before he knows it, he’s moving his hips again. It’s a slow rocking, your lips still attached to his, heated and gentle.
“Gross,” you say again, just a breath against him as he fucks his cum further into you, feels himself harden, feels the mess he made of you. But you still hitch your leg over his hip, pull him deeper into you.
He grins lazily against your lips, “You like it,” he says and it’s not a question, rolling his hips until he gets you to shut your eyes and moan against him.
“Yeah,” you reply, nudging your cheek against his, rubbing like a cat until he returns the gesture. Until he’s humming because he’s sensitive and you feel so good, better than anything he’s ever felt in this miserable fucking life–
You whine a little, ‘Touch me again?”
He doesn’t deny you for whatever reason, doesn’t even have something smart to say as he slides his hand down your torso, down to where you’re both slick and connected. He rubs unpracticed, messy circles around that sensitive bundle of nerves until you’re sighing.
He’s no expert but he doesn’t really care and you don’t seem to mind this time, either. It’s unhurried now, lazy.
This time your peak is a fluttery, soft thing, and he watches as you gasp, as you blink away tears. She’s pretty, he thinks, feeling stupidly young again, she’s pretty like this. Like his dreams.
Tomura spills inside you again soon after, groaning against your collarbones, and this time you force him to slip out of you. Force him to lay beside you as you both catch your breath again.
And he’s not expecting it, but he has the vicious need to be close to you, desperately wants to feel your skin against his. It’s a new feeling– usually after sex, he wants to be as far away from someone as possible. Usually he can’t leave or kick them out fast enough.
But there’s something about you now, hazy and pleasure-drunk, fucked out and dazed, that makes him want to stay close. Maybe it’s just that you’ve soothed all the festering that usually squirms in his chest. Maybe it’s just that you’ve made everything in him quiet for once.
He expects you to find some sort of your regret now, he’s sure that you’ll feel guilty, collect your clothes and go. But you don’t. You stay in bed with him. And it’s strange but he knows he wants to touch you, so he does. He doesn’t deny himself, why would he? He’s always taken what he wanted.
He curls around you, shivering a little with the skin to skin contact after the fog of sex has cleared from his mind. His hands slide over you, touch you fully and without restraint because he can, because you won’t disappear beneath his touch.
And for a moment, as he traces along the dips of your waist, he thinks maybe you were made for him– cut from his rib, isn’t that how the story goes?
He doesn’t know, only that there’s no one else in the world he can touch like this.
You’re surprised.
You’d figured after Tomura had his fill of you, he’d kick you out, send you away. You figured you’d feel guilty, that you would rush out of here and try to wish the whole thing away. But your hero suit stays on the floor and you’re still in his bed.
You didn’t think he’d be a cuddler, you assumed that he wouldn’t want nor care for any sort of contact after. But his arms are wrapped around you now, one of his hands sliding curiously over the curves of your body. All five fingers down, pressing into your skin.
But you suppose, for someone who has to be so careful with touch, that he would like this. That he might want this. You wonder if he ever gets to touch anyone like this, if he ever allows himself intimate touch like this– tender and for no other reason than to soothe or comfort.
You get the impression that he doesn’t, that touch is just a means to an end for him; sex is probably just an itch to scratch. You can’t imagine that he’s very relaxed or enjoying himself when he’s worried about decaying the person he’s with.
But all his crackling, restless energy now seems subdued, sated, as he walks his fingers over you. His hair tickles your bare skin as he nudges closer, nose running along your jaw.
Once more, you feel your age. You don’t feel like a hero, but just someone young, maybe on the cusp of being old. He looks young now, too, with his vivid eyes shut and relaxed, nothing to crease his brow. He doesn’t seem like a villain, either.
You brush a finger over his cheek, touch lightly at the scratches beneath his eyes, drag your thumb down to touch the scar at the corner of his lips.
His eyes flutter open to watch you, half lidded, squinted almost like a cat.
But he allows you to run your fingers over his face, doesn’t protest or jerk away from your touch.
No, his eyes fall shut again. He lets out a deep sigh that you think he has held inside him for years.
He doesn’t have a gentle face, but one that shows it’s angles and sharp edges, the scars and cuts that trail down onto his neck. You’d noticed some on his chest, too. Proof of an uneasy life lived, proof of violence and pain.
You imagine he’s seen horrors, kept them trapped inside for fear of letting them spill out, like maybe it’ll be as gruesome as the memories.
His body hasn’t been handled gently, you can tell, with it’s indents and scars and scratches. You don’t know who was the last person who touched him without wanting to hurt him. And you shouldn’t but you think of yourself when you were a child– desperate for love and affection, desperate for any scrap of attention like the scavenger you always were.
Maybe still are.
So desperate that you’d end up in the bed of your enemy– all because you couldn’t end up in the bed of your ally. So hungry that you’d eat out of a hand that has harmed and killed and destroyed.
Hands that haven’t known gentleness, a body that hasn’t known peace. But he’s being gentle with you now, isn’t he?
So you try to give gentleness to him now, too, with your careful touch. You keep your fingers kind and sympathetic.
Even your own eyes drift shut for a moment, still tracing idle patterns into his skin.
You only slip away from him for a moment, to use the bathroom, to clean up. Your reflection in the mirror looks strange; raw and flushed with color. Honest in a way that makes you turn away.
You slip back into bed with Tomura, let him latch onto you again. You drag your fingers gently over his ribs, over his sides.
You let your eyes fall shut, too.
There’s a sudden, loud buzzing from the floor that cuts through the quiet, which makes your eyes startle open. It’s insistent and you realize after a moment that it’s your phone, caught up in your hero suit on the floor.
You never came home after your shift. You curse softly, almost certain you know who's calling.
You squirm out of Tomura’s hold again, which he huffs at in irritation, but eventually allows you up.
“Where are you going now?” he asks, annoyed, when you climb out of bed to find your phone. Once found, you hold it up to him.
It’s still buzzing in your hand, lit up with Shouta’s contact.
You think the guilt should hit you now.
It doesn’t and that’s what you feel worse over. You swallow hard, frown down at your phone.
(Horribly, you even feel somewhat spiteful, as if you’re trying to prove something to Shouta. Maybe to yourself.)
You don’t answer.
And then you see the several texts from him, wondering where you are. They’re all bland, but you can tell he must be worried. It’s unlike you to not tell him where you are.
“Are you going to leave?” Tomura asks and there’s something strange in his voice, something you can’t place.
“Do you want me to?” you ask in return.
He doesn’t answer right away. But he does eventually give an annoyed drawl, “Do what you want.”
You take that as a no, don’t leave, since you’re certain if he wanted you gone, he would’ve told you.
You send a text to Shouta;
Sorry. Staying with an old friend for the night. Be back tomorrow.
It’s not unheard of, for you to spend time with an old friend from the foster care system.
You get a dry “okay” from him in response. You fight the urge to roll your eyes for some reason, tossing your phone away again.
You end up staying the night with Tomura Shigaraki, one of the most wanted villains in all of Japan.
Its not romantic— he isn’t sweet or funny or caring. But he holds you tight, leaves no room for distance. And it is the first time you’ve ever slept with someone like this, tucked away into a bed, bare, and wrapped up in each other.
Is this what it always feels like? You press yourself into the crooks of his body. You wonder if you’re supposed to fit this well together.
And it’s the first time since his Quirk developed that he hasn’t needed to wear his partial gloves to sleep in fear of decaying something.
He won’t admit it but it’s the best he’s slept in a long, long time.
You won’t admit it, either, but you think you could get used to this, too; this closeness, being held as if you’ll slip away, being held like he doesn’t want you to.
The morning brings rosy sunlight that slants through the windows. Neither of you talk much. You try to tell yourself this won’t happen again, can’t happen again.
But you had kissed him goodbye before you’d left, like he was a boyfriend and not a criminal, and you’d been in a surprisingly good mood for the rest of the day.
Like you had a crush, puppy love you never got as a teenager because you were too busy trying not to starve, only to realize you’d been starving in other ways, too.
But you’re sugar soft and excitable, dropping into bed that night alone, and allowing yourself to admit, in the quiet and privacy of your own thoughts, that you wish you were in his again.
***
One time turns into two which turns into three which turns into so many times you’ve lost count. That little, rundown apartment that isn’t really Tomura’s has turned into another world entirely, some harbor away from the rules of society. It’s almost too good to be true, a dream, a place for a secret as bad as this one.
When you’re here, you don’t talk of heroes and villains. You urge him not to; you think you’ll keep some part of your innocence in this affair if you don’t actually know anything about him or the League of Villains. You’ll feel too guilty, if you know any part of their plans and don’t tell Shouta. And telling Shouta anything about Tomura is beginning to feel like a betrayal, too.
You don’t know anything substantial about Tomura Shigaraki and that’s the way it needs to stay.
You know he likes sour candy, though, and drinks too many energy drinks– they’re sickly sweet and you think kissing him might make your teeth ache. You know he likes video games but no longer has a console. He has trouble sleeping at night. You’re familiar with the scars on his skin, the jagged ones across his neck, the one on his lip. The beauty mark on his chin. You know his moods; from the prickly ones to the downright vengeful ones. You even know the calmer ones, the quiet, contemplative ones.
(In this way, he seems like a normal twenty-something-year-old. In the quiet moments, when you’ve convinced him to watch a cheap horror movie on the tiny, staticky TV in the apartment, he could be anybody. When he’s got his bare hand up your shirt as someone onscreen screams and begs for their life, he’s not the heir to an underground empire. He’s just Tomura, with his face buried in the crook of your neck).
He pretends to get annoyed with you, huffs and scoffs against your lips when you’re being cheeky. You wear his worn down hoodies, slip your thumbs in the holes at the sleeves. He eyes you when you wear them, pulls you to him by the collar.
(He likes to fuck you in them– pushes the hoodie up your stomach to watch you ride him. But he likes things bare and raw, too. Skin to skin. So close it’s terrifying, so close you feel like he’s trying to tear you apart from the inside out. He likes it dirty, you think, because it makes it more intimate.)
You soothe him. You know you do because when he’s festering and angry, all it takes is your hand on his wrist, pulling it away from his neck. Sometimes, when he can’t think straight and there is too much on his mind, he forces you to lay on top of him until his breathing slows and his head is clear.
He can’t talk to you aloud about what’s plaguing him, but you must quiet some part of him. He likes to use you to think, runs his long fingers through your hair as you lay atop him. He pets you until his thoughts aren’t as jumbled, but smoothed out and sharp. Or until he doesn’t want to think anymore at all and he drags you into languid makeouts that always end with him surrounding you, inside you, possessing you.
You bicker sometimes, flash your teeth to make his eyes spark ruby and excited. Mostly, you act your age with him.
You don’t know when his birthday is or where he grew up. You don’t know what his childhood was like or what memories shaped him, don’t know where he’s been or where he’s going to be. You only know him now, in this moment, in this little world you’ve created for each other.
He’s what you imagined first boyfriends are supposed to be; excitable and often immature but fun and new. You never had the luxury of first loves, just odd first kisses with strangers and an uncomfortable loss of virginity with a friend of a friend of a friend who jammed his tongue too far down your throat. You hadn’t had anything stable until–
Until Shouta.
Shouta has grown suspicious of this old friend of yours and how much time you now spend with him.
He questions you about him and you wish you felt worse for lying. The rebellious part of this affair is thrilling, though. Feels like you’re sixteen and sneaking out from under your dad’s nose to be picked up by the boyfriend you’d know he’d hate. Feels like swiping liquor too young and getting sick off it, smashing the bottles and laughing with your friends because sometimes things just need to break.
“Will you at least tell me his name?” Shouta had asked one morning, when you’d let yourself into his apartment after another night at Tomura’s. You had your own hood pulled up around your face to hide the rose blossom hickeys against the skin of your neck.
He’d still poured you a cup of coffee. You’d watched his careful, large hands as they made it the way you liked it.
You’d given him a lie, fed it to him the way he feeds you breakfast, “Shinta. Are you happy?”
He’d slid the mug to you, let you catch in the cradle of your palm. He’d shrugged, but you think his eyes had flashed to you, “You know you can bring him around, right? You don’t always have to go to him.”
You’d had to bite back a painful laugh. It wasn’t funny. It had hurt strangely in the pit of your chest.
You had shaken your head, tried to brush him off, “It’s not like that.”
“Alright,” he’d said, but he hadn’t believed you. “You’re training alone with Shinsou again tonight, I’ll be busy with a job.” Then he’d given you a stern look, “And don’t cut it early to go see Shinta.”
“I’ve never done that!” you’d protested, perhaps a little too defensively. But it was true, you’d never do that to Shinsou, wouldn’t dream of it. The only time you’d cut training early was to share takeout with Shinsou, not ditch him for–
This comment had rubbed you wrong, scratched up against something abrasive and surprisingly fragile inside of you. Maybe because he was questioning your dedication which already felt so flimsy, even if he hadn’t been entirely serious, even if maybe he’d just been trying to take a dig at you. At this new boyfriend.
Shouta had grown cold then, shrugged impassively, took his mug of coffee and brushed past you to keep getting ready.
It had angered you enough to bring it up later to Tomura, when you’re falling into his lap and he’s squirming his cold, fluttery hands beneath your shirt to touch skin, to make you hiss through your teeth.
His lips tilt into a small smile as you fidget while he warms his frigid fingers on your body.
“Eraserhead asked about you yesterday,” you tell him, letting your nose brush against his, “Told me I could bring my friend around– don’t always have to go to him.”
Tomura snorts, eyes falling half-lidded when your lips skim over his. The night is plum dark, presses into this little apartment that’s tucked away from the world.
“How’d you get out of that one?” he asks, fingers walking over the dips of your spine. He likes tracing the bone beneath your skin, likes making you shiver.
“Told him it’s not like that.” you respond, your own hands wandering to his neck. You're careful over the ridges of flesh there, skim lightly to get to his jaw.
“No?” Tomura asks, pulling you closer, pressing his chest to yours, “Don’t want to bring me home to meet Eraserhead?” he sneers and there’s something underneath his voice, lurking, with its hackles raised.
You think maybe it’s jealousy, the same flash of his eyes like Shouta’s when he’d said Shinta.
But then he kisses you deep and drags your hips against his, forces a warbly, surprised little moan from you.
Most of your thoughts melt away then, most turn to something base and desperate, all desire and need. You can’t help but think about it, though, how you can’t ever take him home to Shouta. You can’t ever expect anything more than whatever stays in this room. He kisses you hard, your teeth clinking against his like clashing with the truth of it all.
There’s no happy ending here.
It’s like smashing bottles because sometimes things just need to break.
***
Tomura thinks you would be a good edition to the League of Villains.
You’re clever and capable. He comes to find you’re not just a good thief and pickpocket but an excellent one. You swipe everything from his pockets, right from under his nose, just to play with him. You’re stealthy and sharp; he could use someone like you at his side.
Your Quirk could be useful, though he doesn’t like the idea of you getting so close to people while in battles. You have a reckless streak, but he thinks he could temper that. All you need is a little guidance.
You were a thief once. You give him clues of your past; you didn’t grow up like the other heroes, didn’t come from a warm home with dreams of saving the world. Your head wasn’t filled with fantasies of rescuing the downtrodden. You were the downtrodden. And you learned that there was no one who was going to save you, except yourself. So you stole and fought and survived a world that was willing to forget you.
You’re like him, a very quiet part of him thinks, no one saved you. Not until you were too old, all grown up with sharpened teeth and claws, eyes that see in the dark. That could be now used and extorted by the heroes.
He thinks they’ve leashed you, taught you how to sit and stay and sic ‘em.
He wonders if he’d have gotten to you first, if you’d be with him and not your heroes.
Tomura doesn’t dwell on it, though. He refuses to imagine it. What would be the point? It didn’t happen.
Besides, he is certain he is capable of slowly swaying you to them still. You possess a startling amount of compassion for villains which, perhaps wouldn’t help you as a villain, but that’s fine.
(You’d have him. No one would touch you if you were at his side. You could be as stupidly compassionate as you wanted.)
You meet members of the League with him by accident, times when Toga and Twice’s meeting with him overlap with you arriving. Toga goes on endlessly about you, it seems. Dabi drops by once in the middle of the night, bloody and demanding a place to sleep because he’s tired of sleeping on the streets.
It’d been one of the more insufferable nights, perhaps one of the worst ways for Dabi to find out about you. You’d already been asleep, cocooned beneath blankets and Tomura’s body, just in one of his loose shirts.
Tomura had already been lying awake, listening to your even breathing when he’d heard the handle of the door shake roughly. He’d gotten up then, slipped into clothes, melted into the darkness by the door and waited for the intruder to try and step inside.
The lock had been picked.
He had nearly decayed Dabi by accident before realizing it was him.
A ridiculously quiet but terse argument had ensued then, before Dabi had asked, in a regular speaking voice, “Why the fuck are we whispering?”
Tomura had almost winced when he heard you stir from the bed before your small, sleepy voice had murmured into the darkness, “Tomura?”
You’d said it too soft, too sweet. It’d been for his ears only and something about Dabi hearing you, seeing you, being in this space that had been for you and for him had made Tomura suddenly livid.
He had watched Dabi’s mouth fall open in shock before you’d switched on the bedside lamp to flood the room with artificial, golden light.
Dabi’s face had been near horrific in the light, one side of it all bloody, the stitches mangled or falling out. Part of his face almost looked like it was melting, his eye squinted shut with the damage.
But he’d thrown his head back and laughed when he’d seen you, sitting up in the bed, blinking sleepily at them. Tomura hated a lot of things, but he’d hated nothing more than the sound of Dabi’s rasping laugh in that moment.
You’d narrowed your eyes when you had realized who it was.
“I had no idea you had it in you, Tomura.” Dabi had said.
“Why the fuck are you here?” Tomura had hissed instead, fighting the urge to tear into his neck, fingers twitching agitatedly.
Dabi had gestured to his face with a lazy flourish, “I need medical attention and I’m crashing on your couch.”
Tomura’s teeth had ground together, “Get. Out.”
“No, I’m sick of sleeping on the streets when you’re here playing house with your little hero bitch–”
Before Tomura could even react, though, you had found the small supply of first aid from beneath the sink in the tiny bathroom. You had come up beside them near silently and offered it up, asked, “Do you want help?”
And there it had been– that compassion of yours. Even for the likes of Dabi.
In that moment, he’d wondered how you had ever survived with it. He’d thought that you’d lose your hand if you kept extending it.
Dabi hadn’t let you touch him but you’d gotten a cool rag for him to clean up the blood, watched as he tried to patch up the wound. It was made worse by a mangled staple in his cheek, jutting out strangely.
“Does it hurt?” You’d asked but with the way you were looking at him, at his marred skin up close, Tomura could tell that you weren’t just referring to this one injury.
Does it hurt? You’d asked, like you were asking if it all hurt. You weren’t just seeing a singular part of Dabi, but a series of tragedies that was proudly presented in large, rippling scars against his skin.
“Of course it fucking hurts,” Dabi had spit out, all venom and bitterness. But you hadn’t even flinched.
Tomura had tried to kick him out again once his wound had been treated.
“It’s fine,” you’d said, resigned, tired and rubbing at your eyes.
(Later you’d shrug and tell him, I know what it’s like to not have somewhere to sleep).
“Yeah, it’s fine,” Dabi had drawled, already pulling off his heavy boots, prying the coat from his body to toss onto the floor. “Just don’t do any weird shit.”
And you’d gotten back into bed with Tomura, fit yourself against him, ducked your head down beneath his chin and pressed your hands against his sides, felt the notches of his ribs.
Sometimes he wonders if you can feel the missing one, the one you took from him, the one you’d been made out of.
It had occurred to Tomura that either you didn’t fear Dabi or you trusted him enough to know he’d never let Dabi harm you while sleeping.
Both were acceptable to him, both would aid him in converting you. And they were true, too. You shouldn’t fear Dabi, especially not with him around.
Tomura had brought his hand up then, suddenly covered your mouth with his large palm, letting all five of his fingers come down against your pretty face.
You’d furrowed your brows in confusion, not fear, which made something inside of him grow warm and hungry.
Then he’d slid his other hand down your body, between your legs, just to spite Dabi.
He’d watched as your eyes went wide in the dark, cheeks flushing beneath his hand. He could feel his smirk, smug and sharp, fitting across his teeth like a muzzle.
You’d tried to shake your head, tried to squirm away from his touch, but he’d been persistent and soon enough you were sighing against his hand, melting into the bed he pressed you into. Soon enough you were trying to hold back whimpers, all slippery and soft beneath his fingers, silently begging with your eyes.
He hadn’t denied you that night; no, you were being good, walking the steps he wanted for you. You were moldable and sweet beneath him so he’d give you what you wanted.
He watched in satisfaction as you came hard around his fingers, face scrunching up in that way he loved, fingers easing you through it. He was gentle with you then, taking his hand away from your mouth slowly, letting you nudge closer and cling to him.
(He loved when you clung to him).
You’d wanted so much affection that night and he had indulged you, letting your nose brush against his, or rubbing your cheek against his chest while his fingers wound through your hair.
You’d fallen asleep all tied up in him.
The next morning, you were gone before Dabi even woke up.
Dabi had asked, “What the fuck are you doing with her?”
“Mind your business,” Tomura had snapped, fingers already seeking out his neck again when they couldn't find you. He hated that he wanted your presence so badly now. (Hated that he missed you, but he would never say that, never even dream of it). Then he’d added,“And find someone else’s doorstep to show up on.”
Dabi had scoffed, “Whatever. Just don’t get distracted.” He’d pulled out a cigarette from his jacket still on the floor then, much to Tomura’s annoyance, and lit it with a spark of his fingers. Smoke curled into the air with his first drag. “I’m not about to watch all our efforts fall apart because you wanted to play Romeo and Juliet with some braindead little hero.”
He’d torn into the skin of his neck then. Wished he could tear into you instead.
“Violent delights and violent ends and all that shit,” Dabi had said then, his smile just a curled stitch, smoke pouring from his lips, evidently amused with himself.
But Tomura has never read that play and he doesn’t know anything about poetry in the same way he doesn’t know anything about art or beauty, just that you’re the only thing he’s bothered to compare to a painting.
***
You put Tomura into your phone as Shinta and when you’re too busy to visit him between missions and training, you text him. Though short, he is surprisingly witty over text, something that has you biting back grins and distracted, feeling like a schoolgirl as you try to hide the screen of your phone from the rest of the world.
You grow distracted with hero work, with Shouta. You pay less attention to your life at U.A. You don’t visit Shouta for lunch as often. You haven’t spent a quiet night with Shouta in weeks. You tell yourself you don’t care.
It’s better than fighting with him. It’s better than trying to beg for his love and affection.
Early tomorrow morning you’re supposed to shadow Shouta on a brief mission.
The Hero Commission is trying to train you into espionage and underground work, trying to mold you in the shape of Shouta.
But at night, when you’re alone in your bedroom, tucked away into your own apartment and not with Tomura, he calls you.
You let yourself say his name into the receiver of your phone, hushed and excited.
He doesn’t say I miss you or when will I see you again?
He says, “Touch yourself.”
And you don’t say I miss you, too, or hopefully soon.
You do as he says, let your fingers fan out over your stomach like they might be his. You listen to his breathing turn ragged over the phone. You moan softly for him.
You do what he says in the navy dark of night, bite back frustrated whines because you’ve gotten too used to his touch.
“–Wish it was you, fuck, it’s not fair,” you gasp, tilting your hips up into your fingers desperately.
You can hear the hiss of breath he takes, “Did I ruin you?” he croons into the phone lowly, his voice slithering through to you, making your thighs clench. “Can’t even touch yourself without needing me?”
You groan, high and defeated, fingers slipping against yourself. You’re aching and empty and bereft without him, “Yes, yes–”
He rambles about what he’s done to you, almost seething by the end, when he demands you tell him that you’re his, that he’s the one who made you this way. He’s the only one who can soothe you now. You need him.
He isn’t wrong, you realize, when you still aren’t satisfied after your climax. When it doesn’t feel as good as when you’re with him. You realize you hate sleeping alone now. You miss the press of his body to yours. You coo into the phone about it, lay on your stomach, arms curled around your pillow with your ear still to your phone.
It never gets overly sentimental. You don’t want to scare him, especially as you grow terrified of your own feelings. It doesn’t feel as fun anymore, you realize, only because your attraction to him has now grown serious.
Your crush has grown teeth and claws, ready to tear apart the vulnerable, fleshy parts of you.
But he talks with you until you fall asleep, phone still in hand, heart still on the line.
***
There’s a stray kitten that hangs out around Tomura’s apartment– he thinks there must be a colony of strays in the area, since it’s not the only one. But this one is scrawny, just a messy tuft of grey fur. It’d be sleek and pretty, if it wasn’t so malnourished, if it wasn’t missing clumps of fur or full of scars and scratches.
The kitten likes Tomura a great deal for some reason. It rubs itself against his legs, follows him around outside of the apartment, much to your utter delight.
You coo and fawn over it, scoop the little thing up into your arms and hold it up to Tomura’s face.
He hates it, the face you give him. The face the kitten gives him. He hates that the corner of his lips twitch upwards.
“He’s so cute,” you gush and he can hear now that the little thing is purring furiously in your hands. You wiggle the cat a little bit in front of his face and Tomura finally reaches up to stroke the back of his knuckles against the kitten’s head, if only to appease you.
Your smile is crooked– an excited curve of your lips, your eyes alight.
You’re always so expressive and he used to be livid about it, wanted to teach you a lesson in the worst way possible, but now he just wants to keep you from learning them.
He has to turn away from you at the thought, heads towards the door of the apartment building. You follow after him dutifully, coming up to nudge against his side. He’s become too comfortable with you there, knocking into his elbow.
You’re still smiling down at the kitten in your arms and he wants to look away because some part of this is starting to sting.
The kitten is excitedly looking around, green eyes all round and bright. It’s purring happily.
“Put it down, it’s not coming in with us.” Tomura tells you, his voice rough and soft.
You stop in front of the door with him. Your bottom lip pulls out into a pout. Your eyes get round like the kitten’s.
He gives you a cold stare.
You hug the kitten tighter to your body, “C’mon,” you whine, “It’s just a baby.”
��I’m not taking care of a cat.”
“I’ll take care of it!”
“No,” he responds, harsher, voice a little sharper.
Maybe, in the beginning of this little affair, you would’ve headed the warning in his tone, but now you don’t even bat an eye at him.
“Yes,” you respond indignantly.
You both glare at each other. The kitten’s purr still rumbles on.
Tomura can tell you’re not giving this one up, he can tell by the set of your jaw, the way you’re clinging to that little creature. There’s a determined flush to your face. Your eyes are bright and fiery.
All over this little stray.
“You’re a brat,” is all Tomura says and you take that as a win, because your face immediately morphs, brightens up completely. You duck past him, into the apartment building with the kitten cradled in your arms.
He heaves a deep sigh, following in after you. “I’m kicking it out when you leave.”
“Don’t be mean,” you reply, waiting at the door, and the irony is not lost on him. He comes up behind you, his chest to your back, crowding you against the door.
“I think you need to remember who you’re speaking to,” he says, his voice just a rasp against your ear and maybe at some point, it would’ve sounded threatening, but now you just lean back into his chest. His heart beats against the curve of your back.
Something soft is growing between the two of you, he can feel it. It has no place here, though, in this world. In the two of you. His ugly infatuation with you, all that anger and vitriol he had for you has melted, turned spring soft inside of him after an unforgiving winter.
He unlocks the door, he lets you in.
The kitten ends up coming and going. He opens the window to let it in and out, let’s you feed it. You call it Ryuji. It lives partially in this new little world the two of you have built.
He thinks of it like the pause screen in a video game, somewhere to return to when he’s frustrated or tired or done. Idle, soft music and the freezing of his screen. A moment away from the turmoil or struggle of the game.
But he’ll have to unpause eventually.
He can’t stay here forever, he knows it, but he just has to be sure he plays it right– he doesn’t think he’ll be able to start over this time, with you.
And he wants you there at the ending, at his side like in his dreams.
The ones where it’s all in ruins, the world nothing but his, destroyed, but he gives you his hand to have, and you take it in yours to hold.
***
The distance between you and Shouta stretches and grows until it snaps in the form of a blowout argument. Which, is mostly just you, shouting, crying furiously, and Shouta stone-faced and cool.
It had started with an offhand comment from him about how you’re not focused anymore. You’re getting sloppy. You’re distracted. And usually, you take his criticism with a stiff upper lip and a determined glare.
But you and Shouta haven’t been the same since you tried to kiss him.
You blame yourself, maybe, but part of you feels angry with him, too. Bitter. You thought, in some way, he reciprocated your feelings. He’d acted like it. And when he’d rejected you, he’d pulled away, been more careful with you.
(You wonder if this proves your point, that he was toeing a line with you then.)
And maybe your lies are starting to eat at you, too, starting to rot away on the inside of you. If you focused on them too hard and all that Shouta’s done for you, you think you’d start crying every time you looked at him.
But Tomura has also thrown all you know into question. And you’d already been critical of the life you were afforded by becoming a hero.
You look at all of Shouta’s students and you just get angry. You look at Shinsou, so determined to prove he can be a hero, that he’s good and you are livid. You look at Toga, with her villainous Quirk. She’s near Shinsou’s age and something about it just makes you ache, it makes you sick.
You look at her and see who she could’ve been as a hero– you wonder if they would’ve stuck her in espionage, with the likes of you and Shouta. You wonder if she would’ve gone to U.A. You wonder what it would’ve taken to change her fate.
Even Tomura, you look at him and in the safety and privacy of your own heart, you dare to wonder what he would’ve been like if he hadn’t been a villain.
(He could’ve been a rescue hero, you think, and he could’ve decayed debris to save people. This version of him lives in the quiet, tentative parts of you. It grows soft and underground, a seedling that has sprouted on the inside of your chest, and one day you think this little dream of yours will grow so large inside of you that it’ll breach skin and show the world it’s horror.)
It feels like a coin toss, almost, like the difference between a hero and a villain sometimes is one flip away from changing.
You don’t bother to wonder what would’ve happened if it hadn’t been Shouta that found you, but someone like Tomura. Or All For One. You know if you’d been given somewhere to sleep and a warm meal, you would’ve done what they wanted.
You wish you could say you were a noble, starving person, that there was something shining and golden inside of you. But all you were was starving.
Shouta says you’ve been underperforming lately. He says he’s considering limiting the nights you patrol until you can get it together.
The Hero Commission was supposed to come observe you to see if you’d progressed enough to begin accepting your own missions. He tells you he doesn’t think they should come any longer. It feels like a dig, too, like he’s reprimanding you somehow.
And you snap, “Well maybe I didn’t want them to observe me!”
He looks taken aback for a moment, before he asks, “What is that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t know! Maybe I’m tired of being observed and used and watching all of these kids be observed and sought after and–”
“Alright,” Shouta sighs, and it makes your teeth grit because he sounds like he’s trying to parent you, “It’s one thing to be upset yourself, but I don’t see how this has anything to do with these kids.”
Your nails dig into your palms as you try to find the words to get him to understand you.
But he speaks before you can, almost patronizingly, “Clearly, you’re struggling through something, so it’s probably a good thing we’ve put this off.”
Tears well up hard and fast. It hurts to be dismissed like this. It hurts to look at him, to think that he’s a part of the ever growing issue that has been itching beneath your skin. You’re a part of it, too, but you have the sudden urge to run. To get out.
Still, you swallow down all of that turmoil and say, “I hardly know what I want now, so how do you expect children to know that they want to be a hero?”
“What is this about?” Shouta asks.
“It’s about the Hero Commission and U.A. and the entire fucking system. That’s what it’s about.” you seethe, looking up into his eyes, trying to find something there.
“It’s not just about you?” he asks, unperturbed.
“Why can’t it be both?” you respond, trying to keep your voice from going high, from going hysterical. There’s so much you want to say, so much that it’s making you sick, that it’s turning your stomach. “I’m– I’m barely older than them!” you say, because all you keep thinking about is how they’re just kids. And you were just a kid. And at one point, Tomura was just a kid.
He’s barely older than you. Closer in age to Shouta’s students than to him.
“I didn’t invent the system,” Shouta says and he sounds weary, “I just try to give my students the best opportunity at surviving being a hero. I try to teach them everything to keep them alive.”
They’re just kids! You want to shriek, kids that were chosen or forgotten or accepted or shunned.
Looking in the face of the system now feels so massive that it’s hopeless; a system that produces shiny heroes from children with their perfect and acceptable Quirks and discards the rest. Even you and Shouta, with your Quirks that aren’t as flashy, are pushed into the shadows to do the Hero Commissions business. And what business is that? You have to wonder their intentions, too, with all the money that’s pumped into it. Into all of these heroes. A system that forgets anyone who doesn’t fit into it’s perfect mold.
“But you see how it’s wrong, right? And just because you didn’t invent the system doesn’t mean you get to throw your hands up!” You say, voice raising.
Shouta levels you with a cool look. He lets loose a sigh. “What would you like me to do?”
You don’t have an answer, it’s too big of a question.
(You see the appeal suddenly, in wanting to get rid of it all, in destroying it since it’s such a mess.)
But you hate his aloofness, you hate that he doesn’t care. You hate that you feel crazy.
“I don’t know!” you shout, tears finally falling down your angry and flushed face. “I don’t know!”
“Are you done?” Shouta asks and it makes you want to scream more. You just want a reaction from him, you realize, you want something more than his impassiveness. You think of trying to shout more, to try and say something cutting or powerful or enough to make him wince.
But nothing comes to mind and you’re just stubbornly trying to keep back a sob.
So you shoulder past him, rush out of his apartment, rubbing at your cheeks and trying to keep back your hiccuping cries.
You have every intention of going to Tomura’s.
But you realize when you’ve nearly made it to his door that it might be foolish to go to someone like Tomura with tears in your eyes. What is the leader of the League of Villains going to do? You have a feeling you might just get your feelings hurt more.
So you pause, rub at your eyes again, try to dispel all the turmoil inside you. It doesn’t work, so you turn away from him, too, and you start moving.
Your feet carry you to the train station, carry you across town, to a warehouse you used to vandalize and hide in when you were young and alone.
You haven’t been here in years.
It feels strange, loping around the side of the building. The alleyways are cast in garnet light with the fading sun. It makes it look prettier than it is. You enter through the same hole in the wall that you used to when you were young; you’re bigger now, though, need to duck lower, curl yourself up to get through it.
You think of yourself scurrying around, knowing the ins and outs of this dilapidated building the way most children know their childhood home.
It’s strange, stepping back into a place you haven’t been to in years. You know, in some way, it has to have changed. It’s falling apart more, there’s larger holes in the ceiling, letting in auburn light, setting everything ablaze. There’s a lot of debris; from torn tents to discarded sleeping bags to spare junk, it’s all spread out throughout the place. Graffiti covers every corner of the walls. You used to look for a face painted in pink, it’s eyes dripping down it’s face in the back corner of a wall. When your eyes slide along all the artwork, it’s nowhere to be found now. No doubt covered up by the years, but you know it’s there, somewhere beneath all that color and paint.
There are a lot of empty bottles, glass laying around that crunches beneath your shoe.
You pick up a glass by the spout, watch as it catches in the light, murky gold and sunkissed.
You feel small again, fragile like the bottle in your hand. You stopped crying at least, but all that’s left is the aftertaste. Just the lingering frustration, the bitter aloneness that settles over you as cold as Shouta’s stare.
Your fingers squeeze around the glass, curling tight, before you suddenly hurl it at the wall.
It bursts on impact, explodes into thousands of shining, glittering pieces that spark in the sun.
It feels good, so you pick up another glass– this one’s mint green, pretty like the sea, reminds you of spring and the stems of flowers.
It breaks prettily, too, the sound ringing and sharp in your ears, your eyes trying to catch all the splinters of it. It explodes in the light. It’s cathartic, letting all your aching frustration and hurt rush out with each breaking, with each smashing.
You don’t get through many more, not before you hear footsteps behind you.
You can’t say you’re surprised to find Tomura, but you can’t say you were expecting it either. Quickly, you turn away, try to school your features. You try to rub at your eyes again, as if this will somehow dispel damp lashes and splotchy cheeks.
“Are you stalking me?” you ask, but there’s no bite to it as he comes to stand beside you.
He doesn’t answer.
You think he might be, but you can’t find it in you to care.
The sound of the distant city is just a hum between you two. Glass sparkles on the floor like stars in the fading, ruby light.
You turn to face him, don’t bother trying to look up into his face, just shove yourself into his chest. You bury your face into his hoodie, rubbing your cheek against his chest. “Creep,” you mumble, “What are you doing here?”
His hands come up, one at the back of your head, the other along your back. He has his gloves on. Not that it matters.
“I followed you from the apartment,” he admits and his voice is quiet, but it seems to echo in this open space. Then he says, “You should be more watchful.”
“Don’t start,” you grumble, letting your fingers curl in his jacket, “Been scolded enough today.”
The hand at the back of your head tugs at your hair lightly, lifting your head from its hiding place against his chest so that he can look you over carefully.
The light casts him in maroon and russet, saturating him, making the dark of him stand out sharply. It makes the silver of his hair seem peach, brands him in all the sun’s honey and whiskey glory.
His eyes are vivid, maybe the most true shade of red you’ve ever seen in your life.
He takes in your face, perhaps your bloodshot eyes, your damp lashes. You aren’t a fool; you’re certain he can tell you’ve been crying. You have the urge to squirm away, to try and hide from his gaze.
But all he asks, in a surprisingly gentle tone, is “What happened?”
You shake your head fractionally, “Nothing. Got into an argument, that’s all.”
He hums lightly, tracking your expression. You want to glance away from him, but he holds you still for a moment longer.
When you can’t take his scrutinization any longer, you ask, “Wanna break some shit with me?”
He lets you go finally, let’s you step out of his arms despite not responding. You pick up another glass, this once an icy blue that reflects light that reminds you of the color of morning skies.
You watch as it explodes against the wall, flashing like a little firework. Glass rains down onto the ground, some of it flinging up into the air or back towards you. Tomura pulls you away from it by the back of your jacket, yanks you back into his chest as glass shards fly past you.
He glares at you somewhat and you can tell he wants to scold you, but he doesn’t. You squirm out of his grasp to do it again.
Glass showers down as you break another bottle. It rains in shards of tangerine and pale yellow, bright pops of cherry in the light. It feels good, to watch it all burst apart in the sunlight, like watching little stars burst and explode at your hands. It’s so pretty, for such a violent act.
You hand a bottle to Tomura, offering him the chance to also act out. Instead, he pulls off one of his gloves– tugs it off with his teeth, the glint of sharp white against flesh pink. You watch fascinated for a moment, catch his eyes, blazing and barbed.
When he takes it with all five fingers, you watch as it first cracks in your palm, before fluttering away into dust. Into nothing.
You make a face, “That’s not as exciting as breaking them.”
He rolls his eyes, but you catch the way the corner of his lips hike up. He takes another glass, this one icy silver, caught peach in the honey light, though. He keeps a finger lifted away delicately as he lifts it up to the beams of scarlet sun that flare through the rafters.
And in that fiery patch of dusk, with the glass reflecting iridescence onto the angular plains of his face, your heart gives a violent lurch, like it’s trying to burst free from your chest.
I think I love you, you think, unbridled, and so suddenly that it feels as if the thought has slammed into you the way a body might fall from the ledge of a roof.
I think I love you, you think again, because you can’t quite believe it, as he lobs the bottle at the wall. It fractures into a thousand little beams of glass and light, like an exploding comet. You feel as fragile as that, like he’ll do the same to you. Maybe you’ll be nothing but shards by the end of this, nothing but dust slipping through his fingers.
He turns to you, no doubt to say something snarky, but you’re already taking quick steps to him. He doesn’t get the chance to speak, not when you collide with him, hard and reckless, throwing yourself up onto your toes to kiss him with a new violence.
He makes a surprised noise, soft, but catches you otherwise. His hand is already up, worming beneath your clothes to press chilled fingers into the bare skin of your upper waist. He likes the way you hiss into his mouth, and you like the way they dig roughly into you. He forces you closer, melds his mouth to yours, rough at the edges, slick and warm at the center as the kiss blossoms into slow simmering heat.
And by the end of it all, when the light has given way to violet darkness, the press of indigo shadows that stretch tall in this abandoned warehouse, there is too much glass on the floor. Everything is shattered or decayed. Your lips are stinging from sharp-toothed kisses and the desperate press of his mouth to yours. You’ve turned molten, fallen apart the way glass does.
You walk home together, hand in seeking hand.
Your eyes flush pink with your Quirk, brightening up in the dark.
You knock into his side like you’re a kid, eagerly trailing beside him. He has the hood of his sweatshirt up, hidden, as you rush into the next train back to the part of town that holds the little, distant world of his apartment.
You sit beside each other on the train, knees pressing into each other. He leans over to crowd you against the cool glass as the world streaks past you in a wash of darkness. He ducks his face to yours, his hood hiding the both of you from any onlookers as he seers his mouth to yours again.
You feel like a teenager, kissing in front of strangers, beneath the flickering light of the train car. You feel young and reckless, letting him have you like this, while the city burns like a blurry halo behind you. But you feel older, too, older and in love, like you finally know the secret of the universe, the one that every adult knows and has only learned in the burn of a kiss, in the messy squeezing of your heart.
He licks into your mouth slow, you curl your small hand into his worn hoodie. If people stare, you don’t know, don’t care.
He pulls away from you, forcing you up when your stop is announced, leaving you a little dazed and dizzy, but you eagerly follow after him. Your hands bunch into the back of his jean jacket. You stumble behind him a little, feet tangling with his as you duck beneath his arm to come to his side.
Ryuji finds the two of you on your walk home the closer you get, follows you both inside, happily chirping at your coos. But he paws at the window to be let out again a short time later, after you’ve fed him something. Tomura opens the window for the cat, but not before you catch him rubbing a knuckle against the kitten’s fuzzy cheek, brief but gentle.
You think he likes Ryuji more than he lets on. You think he loves all this more than he lets on.
Tomura takes his time with you that night, surprisingly languid for once, like you’re not on borrowed time. Like this is an entirely new planet, a version of the two of you that is not bound by pasts and future expectations. No strings puppeteering you both, no invisible hands holding you both back.
He pulls you down into his lap, to sink onto him, fill yourself with him as you please. You twine your arms around his slender neck to pull him close, eyes half lidded and pyretic pink, fiery and soft with the way your Quirk reacts to his. It always hums somewhere inside of you, brushes against his until it quiets, until he’s soothed and relaxed.
“Do you feel powerful?” he murmurs against your lips, eyes flickering up to find yours.
The question takes you by surprise for a moment, pulling away fractionally from his parted lips. And with the way your heart squirms in your chest, looking down at him like this, you want to say no, I feel terrified and new and desperate.
But he drags nails down your back, makes you gasp and roll your hips down onto him, which startles a groan out of him. The sound of it turning your stomach in the best and worst ways, making you flush, making you squirm to try and sink lower onto him. Greedy and desperate, you wiggle your hips to make his breathing come out ragged.
It makes you realize you have one of the most dangerous villains beneath you, as desperate as you are.
You roll your hips again, slow, take what you want of him. You fist your hand in his hair, tilt his head back and watch as his eyes flutter. His cheeks are flushed.
Pretty, you think faintly.
“Yeah,” you breathe, gliding your lips along his, heart a storm in your chest to have him looking up at you like this, “I do.”
His lips tilt into a knife-sharp smile, enough to gut you.
And he lets you take what you please of him that night, and the thief that you are, you take and take and take. You steal from him with deft hands and a smile that he thinks he’d destroy the world for. You take all the love that you want from him, gorge yourself on it until you feel sick.
Until you feel as if you could rot with it, carrying your love for him in the pits of you, coveting in the safe, secret parts of you, for no one else to find.
Just you and him, like this, hand in seeking hand.
***
PART III
#shigaraki tomura x reader#tomura shigaraki x reader#tomura x reader#shigaraki x reader#shigaraki tomura x you#tomura shigaraki x you#tomura x you#shigaraki x you#tomura x y/n#shigaraki x y/n#tomura shigaraki x female reader#tomura shigaraki fanfic#bnha x reader#bnha fanfic#tenko shimura#tenko shimura x reader#bnha
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King of Cups || Chapter 7
Chapter 7: The Fool
Archive: ao3 | masterlist | six
Pairing: Din Djarin x fem!Reader
Summary: It all spills over.
Word count: 8.8k~
Rating: Explicit
Warnings/tags: SMUT (WE MADE IT FOLKS), thigh riding, fingering/hand job, very brief breathplay/choking, cum eating¿? Angst/emo shit (I'm so sorry i have no self control)
Notes: HI FRIENDS, wow it's been a minute. Sorry for the massive delay. For anyone wishing to start KOC, now would be the perfectly spicy chapter to do so! This chapter was Herculean. idk why. Love you guys, enjoy! x (gif credit : @djarinsgf)
“Maker,” you bemoan, shielding your face from the heavy beat of the suns.
You’ve known warmth—you were raised in warmth. This is beyond it.
It’s not just warm, it’s sweltering. The heat is oppressive, congealing the air to mist; you can barely see through it what with the sweat running into your eyes. Tall, craggy dunes line the valley of desert, trapping the planet’s hot pulse within their walls. Your steps crunch along the dry, pebbled earth as you swat at the gnats buzzing in ribbons around your head.
A muffled gurgle sounds from behind you and you slow to a halt, boots gritting into the cracked top soil.
“You doing alright back there, Munch?” you ask, craning your head to the child nestled into the carrier fashioned onto your back. A green ear pokes free from the top, and you can see the jewel of his black eyes peering at you through the gauzy cloth you draped over it. He grunts, and you give a small shrug—shifting the pack by the straps, eliciting a giggle out of him. “We can always turn back, okay? I’m not going to be mad.” Another noise, a happy coo this time, and you shimmy your shoulders again, jostling the bag playfully.
“Well, you just let me know.”
Your conversations usually unfold this way. They leave much to be desired, but you’d like to think you understand one another—in fact, you probably understand the kid more than you understand his dad.
You’ve grown close with him, you’ll be the first to admit it. You’re attached to each other. The little one has been your constant companion for these months and in some ways, you suppose he takes care of you just the same as you take care of him. The chamber of space can be lonely; it’s cold and unkindly reflective, stranding you to the echoed chain of your thoughts—but when he tugs at your hair or slobbers spittle down the front of him or crawls up into your lap to nestle into your tunic, it feels like you belong there—there on the Crest, streaming through the galaxy.
And maybe, simply, it feels good to do right by a child—as if you could make up for it somehow, within yourself. To do better than you were given.
Squinting, you raise your wrist to check the coordinates on your comm and shade a hand over the screen, blocking the glare cast onto the display. “Almost there,” you mumble, resuming your stride as you begin the last leg of the trek to the settlement you and Mando discussed that morning.
“What?” he asked, planted some paces away from you.
You hummed a curious note, glancing to him.
“What is it?”
You were trying to be small all morning—shrunken and shy, avoiding the thought and avoiding him all together. You quieted yourself, as if to not take up space, but the attempt was fruitless; of course he picked up on it – you get good at reading people on the job, he’d said – and of course he called you out on your behavior. You took a big gulp of your caf, gaze flickering down—increasingly more and more invested in the scuffs marked into the table you sat at.
“Dala,” he said pointedly, arms folding over the breadth of his chest.
Shit. Who did you think you were fooling? Playing possum with a Mandalorian?
Worrying your lip, you stood. You couldn’t bear to look up at him, just looming there across the table from you, so you paced around the deck as you rambled. “Okay, so you know how I’m still connected to the RRM channels? Well, I’ve been checking the message boards and I—there’s a settlement here out in the Wastes. It’s small and new and they’re looking for volunteers and—”
You whistled in a breath. Fuck it.
“And I want to help.”
Like the toggle of a switch, you went from having a career—having a purpose—to having nothing. And all your gratitude for the transport he’s offering couldn’t fill that empty lull that’s settled inside you.
“Would you be comfortable with letting me take the kid? I know I’m probably asking a lot—and I will fully respect whatever you decide—but I can keep him by me the whole time, I swear, I just—” You shook your head, pinching your eyes shut before sighing, “I need to be doing something. Anything.”
There was a long pause. You scratched at the torn skin around your cuticle, nervously searching the pitch of his wordless visor. He didn’t move a muscle. He didn’t even twitch.
“That’s fine,” he finally remarked, graveled.
You blinked, taken aback at his agreement, and all at once your fidgeting ceased and a bright grin broke out over your features in its place.
It nearly brought him to his knees.
“Wait, seriously?” you asked, bouncing on the balls of your feet and he nodded, a subtle tilt to his helm. “Maker, thank you,” you exclaimed, and without thinking you flew towards him, flinging your arms around his neck and sealing yourself to his armored frame. His arms escaped out from his chest in surprise, suspended and stiff, before falling measuredly to his sides. You could’ve been imagining it, but you swore you heard the distinct grit of his teeth grinding together under his helmet.
“Really Mando,” you beamed, pulling back to lay your eyes on him, to let him see the earnest there: you have no idea how much this means to me. “Thank you.”
You gave his shoulders a squeeze, thumbs brushing along the scratchy fabric of his cape before tearing yourself away. Swiping up your mug of caf, you wound down the corridor - airy, buoyant - back to your makeshift quarters to prepare for your outing. It took him another minute just to get his damn feet to move from the spot on the durasteel you welded him to.
Din told you to be safe.
You smiled, and promised you would.
You left the Crest before him and it was strange, surreal. For the first time, you stood in each other’s shoes, leaving Din there on his own while you set off into the world. He watched you go—you and his boy—watched you walk away into some great unknown without him.
And he didn’t like it.
He soured, somewhere in the deep of him—within that pit he called a gut, he twisted sick.
Your feet hit the ramp, dull and tinny, and it sounded like goodbye—it sounded like you leaving. It’s what it will look like when time and fate touch, and inevitability catches up with him. It’s what it will look like when he takes you home. You’ll walk out of his life, down that same ramp, and your steps will echo those same beats. You won’t look back.
And Din, with all his strength, all his unshakeable resolve—Din will let you go.
///
The encampment is settled into the shadow of a cliffside, seeking respite there from the blazing suns, the taupe of the canvas shanties camouflaging into the arid landscape. Some crawl their gaze up as you enter the village, and you offer them smiles they do not return. Others do not acknowledge your presence at all— unstirred as your footsteps sound past, their heads bound heavy towards the earth. It’s not long before a decisive voice cuts through the hush that’s claimed the settlement.
“Are you with the RRM?”
You turn and are greeted by a woman ducking out of a tent—the grey of her woven tunic browned with sand, heat collecting in her black, coiled hair.
“Yes, I’m with the Movement.” It’s not a total lie. Sure, you’re on leave, but that doesn’t discount you completely. What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.
With a sharp exhale like a prayer of relief, she makes her way towards you. “Where’s the rest of your division?” Her eyes narrow discerningly, flitting behind you as if expecting to spot the rear of your party trickling in.
“It’s, uh—it’s just me,” you confess, pressing your lips together in a thin smile.
She rakes a hand over her hair, over her face. The skin around her knuckles is split, the beds of her nails chalked with days of unwashed grime. “Alright,” she concedes begrudgingly, without any better option presented. “And who is this?” She nods to the child, emerging from the pack and staring curiously at her.
“This is—” You take a moment to consider it—consider the secrecy around the child, the bounties, the life on the lam. Less is more, you decide. Again, it’s not a total lie. “I’m babysitting.”
The kid grunts an emphatic patu.
You both share a look—a quirk of her dark brow, an apologetic heft of your shoulder—and she sighs. “Well, I’ll take all the help I can get,” she quips dryly with a wave of her hand, leading you into the settlement.
///
She’s coarse, this woman—Arlaani, she told you—matronly and effective. She has a calculating gaze and powerful shoulders that she holds steady as she shows you through the camp. There are lines around her eyes, carved into the curves of her mouth. She knows what you know—what all women learn: sometimes you must be hard in order to keep others soft.
You walk shoulder to shoulder, matching her long strides with your own.
“The Black Sun has taken the southern hemisphere; their numbers have only grown since the Battle of Yavin. Pirates, mercenaries, spice runners—they’ve ransacked one half of the planet and have the officials of the other half in their pocket,” she scowls. “They have stolen our land, our homes—we’re moisture farmers, mechanics, mothers and fathers. We are simple people and we have been forgotten by our government—by those who vowed to represent us, protect us.” Arlaani draws in a long breath. “We’re on our own out here in the Wastes.”
You survey the area; the lifeless ocean of rock and sand, the few scattered trees that have died on their feet—roots withering bone dry in the suns. “Why settle here if it’s so uninhabitable?”
She huffs a humorless laugh. “Because, it’s uninhabitable,” Arlaani explains. “No one robs a beggar. There is nothing in the Wastes the Black Sun wants.”
There are no buildings, no structures; the whole area is undeveloped and raw. Tents are dotted sporadically in clusters, crates of supplies and water canteens stationed every other one. Children dawdle idly, tired and overheated, leaning against boxes and posts—their bellies distended and skin parched taut. Flies land on their shins, on their cheeks. They do not go to shoo them away.
“The Movement supplied those for us when we landed,” she comments, nodding to the crates. “That was two months ago.”
“No one has come back to check on you since?” you ask, brows notching together.
She shakes her head solemnly, jaw set rigid. “Our little ones go hungry, our elders are sick with red fever. We will run out of water before the week is through,” Arlaani says before she turns to you, holding your gaze—the seriousness evident in the stone of her eyes. “I thank the gods you are here.” She presses a palm to your shoulder. You feel the weight of it, the weight of her—of the lives she carries on her back.
“I thank the gods.”
///
You stop by each tent delivering what little food and medicine you brought with you from the Crest, and after each encounter—the people so grateful, so weary—your mind strays further and further to Mando.
Din, you scold yourself. Not Mando, Din. Din Djarin.
You still can’t bring yourself to say it.
He spent that whole fateful day nearly two weeks ago bristling at the very sight of you, going out of his way to limp to the other side of the ship just to ignore you better, only to do you in for one final head spin and give you his name.
Two weeks, and you still haven’t said it. There’s no other excuse: plainly - pitifully - you’re scared. You’re scared he regrets it.
Because how horrible of a truth would it be? To be offered something out of carelessness or guilt; to be the product of pity, or even worse, a mistake that cannot be unmade, cannot be rectified. He can’t take his name back, can’t unspeak it any more than you can unhear it, and this fear, picking at you like an old scab—it’s so painfully human, so terribly universal:
what if I’m not worth it?
And isn’t it easier to neglect the answer, then it is to ask the question.
So you’ve buried his name for both of your sakes, keeping it somewhere secret and private, there to garner dust in the quiet of your mind.
You’re brushing through the draped entrance of a tent when you spot him: a small boy hiding behind a supply crate, the top of his dusted head poking out over the ledge. You catch him peering at you, and he ducks down shyly. A honeyed grin blooms across your face.
“I think we’re being watched Munch,” you coo. The little ball of robes blinks up at you from your arms, earning his nickname tenfold as he crams his mouth with a flakey cracker. “You want to say hi?” He hums in response and you crouch, letting him wiggle free from you to toddle over to the other child. With small steps, he eventually makes it over to the other and immediately, without hesitation or provocation, extends one of his crackers to him.
Your heart swells until it bursts, proud and beautiful in your chest.
Munch leads him out from behind the box, the two boys shuffling slowly through the dirt back to you. He can’t quite meet your eyes—his gaze lands somewhere around your chin, your collarbone, and you fold forward, bent at the knees to meet his height.
“Do you have a name, sweetheart?” you ask kindly.
He nods, nibbling quietly on the cracker, and you breathe out a chuckle. “Not much of a talker, huh? I can respect that,” you say, eyes crinkling fondly with a smile. “Well if you want to tell me, you can—or not. That’s okay, too.”
He nods again, and you fish out more salty treats from the sleeve in your pack, gently handing them to the other—a gesture he nervously accepts, dirty fingers trembling as he plucks them from your open palm. This boy is precious—sweet faced and cherubic, he must not be a cycle over the age of seven.
And the realization comes so suddenly that it blindsides you—struck by it, there between your lungs: Din was his age when it happened—when life happened to him. When this could have happened to him.
You can’t help but think of it—think of him and everything he told you that night he came bleeding through the Razor Crest. You can’t stop imagining him; Din as a little boy tucked away, his people—his parents—decimated overhead. He is a Mandalorian by proxy. Displaced from his home, from his past, saved by a sect with an affinity for orphans—to protect those who cannot protect themselves. The irony of it all is not lost on you:
Din is a refugee too.
You see him in this boy, and in all the faces here—in every set of eyes, young and old alike. Each are individual - idiosyncratic - but they each wear the same qualifiers. The same exhaustion. They each fight the same tired battle, leaving them with identical sets of marks.
Does Din? If you were to see him, truly see him, would you find them there? You’ve seen the scars he’s earned from being a Mandalorian.
You wonder if he has any from simply being a man.
Pushing yourself to stand upright, you cradle Munch back into your chest, his teensy claws riddling your shirt, and offer the boy your hand—outstretched in front of you.
He’s cautious. Too cautious for a boy so young, for a child who should know nothing but abundant love and fearless imagination. He shouldn’t have had to learn this lesson: that some hands should not be taken, that some people should not be trusted. He studies you, hesitant but hopeful, and you smile softly—cycles of hard-won patience and empathy curving the corners of your lips.
He lays his small hand in your own. You walk on together.
///
The day blows by like hot desert wind, chafing at your skin. Minutes have ripened to hours—morning has crawled to midday.
The three of you finish your rounds— distributing rations throughout the camp, pitching tents, taking stock of the dwindling supplies for you to relay to the Movement once you return to the Crest and have access to your holopad.
It’s then that you notice Arlaani again. She’s speaking in hushed tones with another man, the both of them hunched over a large carton. You see the concern ticked clearly along the man’s jaw, the dread grooved into her brow, her crossed arms. With a frown, you plop the child down onto a nearby petrified log and the other boy joins, hopping up next to him, all too happy to get off his feet. You tell them not to wander off— a kiss to Munch’s forehead, a ruffle of the boy’s hair— before making your way to the couple.
“Hey,” you call, jogging over. “Is everything alright?”
Arlaani wheels around as you approach. It hasn’t been long since you’ve seen her, but somehow she looks older. Hollowed, drained— like there’s less and less in her. “It’s the water,” she grits out, “sand mites have gotten to the crates, to the canteens.” She tosses you one of the flasks. It’s littered with holes, porous and leaking— the remnants of water splashing out of the orifices bitten into the sides.
Arlaani dives through the crate, rifling through the supplies. She’s tense, upset, her voice is rife with it. “They’re all like this. Ruined, fucking—” She heaves out a hissed exhale and props herself up on the edge of the box, neck bowed between her shoulder blades. “This was the last of it, and now—now…”
The man tries his best - how do you comfort marble? - as he places an arm around her, his thumb drawing patterns there, reassuring and calm but she wants nothing of it; she gruffly shrugs it off as if stung, weaseling out of his hold. “I can’t— I need to think,” Arlaani bristles, as she paces away from the settlement, receding deeper into the Wastes.
“I’m sorry,” he stutters, “I have- I have to—” His eyes follow her shrinking form, worry apparent in the shape of them. It’s so obvious. He’s terrified of that woman—probably loves her, too.
“Go,” you say, and with a knowing expression, he turns and trots after her.
Heavy footed, heavy hearted, you trudge back to find the children exactly where you left them. Once there, you collapse to the hard ground, dust and dirt puffing up as you recline onto the log. Your palms run over the earth—scooping up sand and rock and letting it slip through the cracks of your fingers, gaze trained out onto the encampment—the people milling about, the miasma of helplessness stifling the air.
This isn’t enough. You’re not doing enough— these impermanent little nothings, your measly good deeds. It’s not going to matter. They’ll be bones by the time the next wave of volunteers rolls through. They’ll be grain.
You need to do something that lasts, that outlives you when you leave.
You glance over to the kid and his new friend, their little legs swinging off the edge of the trunk, heels thumping against the old wood. They look to you, two pairs of big eyes—crackers in their tiny fists.
“You boys ever dig a well?”
///|||///
The suns roast into his beskar, blistering him from the inside out.
The day has been long and it’s only half over. It took him longer than it should have to gather himself— his fob, his rifle, his fucking head—and depart the Crest. Longer than it should have to hunt the bounty here—some marauder scum who’s number is up and luck has run out. Longer than it should have to set up his sniper’s nest, sculpted into the mountainside.
Din is distracted, has been all day— has been since you left.
He can’t stop feeling you. Your warmth pushing against his chest, your arms looping around his neck, the heat of your palms searing through his flight suit. Din can smell you on him still— like citrus and moss, you cling to his cowl from where you buried your head.
It’s intolerable. It feels like an infection with how it’s been building, how this has spread— slowly but surely rearing to an unignorable head. Serpentine and insidious as it crept through him, this growing affliction— this morbid curiosity that spoiled like rotting stonefruit into infatuation— slipping along his bones and organs, blemishing Din in faint little licks— imperceptible to the naked eye but there all the same.
How did this happen? How did he become this?
You’ve been more relaxed now, bolder in some ways. Transparent. Sometimes, you’ll touch his arm as you walk by him or sweep your hair from your neck when you sit by his side in the cockpit, star shine on your jaw. You’re quick with a laugh, lips pulling back into a pretty grin. He’s even caught you staring at him, there out of the corner of his eye—from where he steals those same glances under the safety of his helm.
He spied you once, just a glimpse of your backside, padding quietly away from the shower with only your underwear on, drops of water tracking down your spine. It was brief, you were fast—you must have forgotten your shirt in your bunk—but he had to lock himself in his quarters and fuck his hand before he could even think about piloting the Crest into the stratosphere.
Din is a lot of things, but he isn’t daft. A part of him knows. A part of him is aware that you are two very human people with very human needs—and that you’ve been ignoring these primal aches with premeditated dereliction for months now.
And you can only dance around each other so long before one of you snaps.
And Maker, he’s so desperate to be rid of you—to get you out of his fucking system; to let him sleep without dreaming of you, to let him wake without plunging into his briefs and jerking himself off. You are everywhere. In his ship, in his galley, in his thoughts. He has no privacy, he has no sanctity— he has no idea how you have managed to worm yourself so deep into every living part of him. Others have tried and they have failed, and you— you did it in your sleep. From that very first fucking night, curled up in his chair, gore and ash stained tunic rising with your slumbered breathing. You snored.
You fucking snored.
And now you’re killing him— just as the suns above, you are blistering him from the inside out.
His level-headedness has all but evaporated. He’s peeved. Not only is Din distracted, but he's angry— has been since he plodded up this damn hill, waiting for his quarry to pass through the ravine between the valley of mountains—because instead of performing his job, he’s consumed with you. All of you.
He kneels, flattening himself against the rocky sand— your hands, so small and soft against him— and unclips the rifle from the strap on his back—how good you’d feel on his skin—he aligns his sights— the weight of your breasts in his palms—
His helmeted head clunks to the ground and he loses his aim, a frustrated growl emanating out from him. Focus, Mando. Fucking focus.
Din reorients his crosshair, training it on the gang of pirates in the gorge below. They lean haphazardly over their speeders, their cargo nets packed full with different wares and spices, jeering loudly and chugging from the jugs of spotchka they undoubtedly looted earlier that afternoon. He inspects the rabble, searching for his target and—those pretty lips that smile so easy for him, stretched around his length.
Fuck. He pinches his eyes shut.
You whispering husky into his ear as you ride him, you bent over the pilot’s chair begging for his cock, you sprawled out over the deck while he laps at your sweet cunt.
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck— he can’t do this. He can’t fucking do this. You’re everywhere everywhere everywhere— you buffer his vision, his senses, his sight. He’s blinded with you. You’re blinding him.
With an infuriated heave he shoves himself off the ridge of the dune, bounty-less, and reverses his course back to the Crest—heart beating furious and bloody against his ribs.
///
The settlers surround the trench, peering down at you as you work. Hours ago, when you originally proposed this idea to Arlaani, they insisted on helping— to which of course, you insisted they didn’t. And so they watch— the refugees, Din’s foundling, the nameless boy— mangling their hands restlessly, animated with an inkling of that all too lethal substance long sought after by those of all species and creeds: hope.
You sink the shovel into the dry earth and your muscles burn with the effort—the skin on your palms stings from the rough grate of the wooden dowel and the yawn of your back strains as you pitch forward.
You’ve missed this.
You’ve been so distracted. You’ve grown comfortable in your routines, you’ve let yourself go listless—living in blissful ignorance—all because of a metal man in his metal ship with the most impossible and darling child you’ve ever known. All because your body reacts at the very sight of him, all because your belly flips when he speaks, that modulated purr rumbling loose from his beskar, all because, because—
You like him.
You wish you didn’t—you hardly know why you do—but you’ve soaked your fingers enough times in your rack to realize that this thing residing within you burns.
You can’t even see his face, and you don’t have to. His presence alone— that raw, vacuous energy that surges from him—it’s addicting. It's engulfing. It makes you whimper into the night, massaging your pearled clit as your other hand muffles your moans and you come over and over and over again, chasing after the fantasy you so dangerously harbor for this man. The man who’s piloting you back to Coruscant—the man who sleeps just down the hall.
But that isn’t real. That’s not real life— that’s not your life. This is real—the fuchsia of the setting suns blazing through the horizon, the sweat on your brow. You’ve missed this— Maker, you need this. Working with your hands, making an impact. You’re wanted here and kriff, does that not feel so unabashedly right. To be wanted. To be important.
Your back groans, the sinew woven over your spine aching in protest and you know, without a doubt, you’ll feel this for the next week. Half of you dreads it—being cooped up and sore, lactic acid compacting your joints— while the other excites at the prospect; the memory of a good deed lasting long after it’s finished. That reminder always there, always present: see, there’s still hope in the galaxy. We can still do good. There’s goodness where you look for it.
You fling dirt over your shoulder as you burrow lower and lower. With each shove, the soil changes hue, changes density—the striations darker, more definitive. It’s less dry now, thicker too—turning from sand to clay the deeper you dig. Again, you drive the spade into the sod with a taxed grunt, when you hear a distinct, wet squish.
You pause, stilling your shovel in the dirt. Everything - everyone - freezes.
Adrenaline thrums through you as you drop to your knees, using your hands to brush away loose silt piled atop the loamy floor, excavating what lies beneath.
Prayers and hollers erupt above you and you lurch your focus up to the sound, a feverish grin plastered to your face. The little boy jostles the child excitedly, and his green talons rumple the other’s tattered tunic. Your head falls back, cushioned by the dirt wall and you laugh - gargled, relieved - as water begins to seep through the tired ground.
Bubbling up, bubbling up—unearthing.
///
The promise of ridding yourself of your soiled clothes was the singular thought that fueled your trek back to the Crest. Every inch of you was filthy, caked in dried mud and gritty sand and you wanted nothing more than to strip from those dirty layers and melt into your bedroll. The kid, that lucky little bugger, had passed right out; sun drunk from his long day, he’d slept the entirety of the return trip—stirring only once when you placed him in the hover pram and sealed it shut.
Your bones are worn. Your tissue, your tendons— every little scrap that keeps you stitched together craves sleep. You reckon you should feel miserable, what with the tell-tale stiffness already burdening your spine and the fresh callus from the shovel’s handle reddening your palm.
But you’re not miserable, not even close. No, you’re happy—you’re glowing; fulfilled and serene, humming as you wash your pants in the basin, kneading at the sopping fabric. You wring out the article, shaking free the excess droplets before draping it on a metal rung overhead. You peel off your shirt and bra band next, leaving you only in your underwear as you plop them into the bowl and begin to scrub at the stains, concentrating on a particularly dirty patch at the sleeve.
The grating mechanics of the Crest’s great jaw unhinging sends your stomach bounding frantic to your lungs.
Kriff—shit shit shit, he’s back early.
Clutching onto your modesty, you cover your breasts and scramble to your quarters, quickly shimming a loose tunic over your head. Its hem barely covers the curve of your ass and you tug long at the cloth before peeking cautiously from the doorway and tiptoeing out of your room.
“Hey,” you warble, rounding a corner as solid feet pound up the ramp—you can feel their reverberations in the floor under your own. You pad into the galley, pulling at your shirt as you go, to tidy up the washing you left unattended. “Sorry, I wasn’t expecting you so—”
You falter.
He’s there at the mouth of the ship, the ramp drawing slowly up behind him and he’s fuming; you can practically see the steam lifting from his armor and his breathing is labored—chest rising, plummeting violently. You both stand immobilized on opposite sides of the hull—you, bare-legged and exposed and Din, all but anonymous under the steeled fury of his armor. Finally, the sound dampens, ship shuddering as she seals shut—sealing you in—and the leather of his fist creaks in the silence hanging dense like smoke around you.
“Mando...?”
He doesn’t grace you with a response. Instead he begins to stalk forward, stripping weapon after weapon from himself with every thundering step—rifle, blaster, vibroblade—he sloughs it all, metal clanging against metal as they clatter to the deck.
“Hey, what’s wrong-”
He’s not stopping. Fuck, he’s getting closer and closer and instinctually you back up—staggering until you’re pressed against the bulkhead—his broad frame crowding you until all you see is the silver polish of his beskar. You jolt when his hands fly up and slam into the wall behind you, framing either side of your head, fencing you between his forearms. Your lips part, wide-eyed and confused, and you gulp around the nervous lump threatening your voice.
“Do you have any idea,” he seethes, “what you do to me?”
“W-What-” Your stammering is cut short as he slots his thigh between your legs and you have to tilt your chin to meet his visor, a gasp finding itself on your tongue.
“Strutting around my ship, putting your hands on me, that kriffing smile…” Din ruts his knee into your heat, and you’re practically hoisted onto your toes. Your core pulses against the blunt pressure, blood racing to the throb at your center.
Maker, you could fucking faint.
“Do you know how long I’ve thought about this—about you?” His voice is tar black—smooth like obsidian—and you succumb to it. You can’t speak; any and all language evaporating from the forefront of your mind, because he’s everywhere. He’s inescapable and smothering and his scent floods over you, intoxicatingly wild—like iron and sand and something dangerous. Something heady, carnal.
“Is this what you want?” he hisses.
You’ve gone dumb. You’ve imagined this, you’ve dreamt of this, but now it’s actually happening—here, in the flesh, it’s finally happening and you’re trembling with the reality of it. All you can muster is a shaky nod, tongue darting out over your lip.
“Tell me,” he orders, scanning your face behind the guise of his helm. You feel his gaze rove over your eyes, your cheek—fanning across your lips.
Your breath hitches.
“Yes,” you whisper, “yes I want this.“
It’s all it takes.
Din is rougher than he means to be. He wears this as he wears his armor, plating the soft parts of himself he doesn’t want anyone touching. He doesn’t know anything else. He doesn’t know how to be anyone else but this.
He grabs a handful of your waist, rooting you still as he rolls his thigh against you. You inhale an airy noise, grappling onto his other arm stationed by your head and you bite your lip, sucking it into your mouth. Your cunt spasms for him as he presses up into your mound, fightless against the groan that seeps through you.
“You like that?” he pants. ”You like fucking my thigh?”
Din manhandles your hips, his hold on you vicious as he rocks you back and forth on his plated leg, your clit catching on the cold edge of his thigh guard with each motion. It sends hot sparks down your spine and you trap a moan behind your teeth, letting the sound rumble there before you swallow it. His hand weaves up from your waist, the drag of his glove setting fire to your skin as he passes over the swell of your clothed breast, and you arch into his palm as he swipes a thumb over a nipple. “You want more?”
He splays his large hand, groping at your plump flesh, and pinches your nipple hard until it pebbles through your shirt. With each sharp twist, his intention becomes clearer: it won’t be enough to skate by on moans alone.
“I asked you a question.”
Din slides his other hand to the small of your back, drawing you flush to his front, and you can feel him— the outline of his firm length twitching under his flight suit against your hip. He cranes over you, intimidating and menacing and achingly devious. The panel of his visor has never looked darker.
“Use your words, dala,” he husks.
You should be embarrassed by this—by your need made evident through the soaked lining of your underwear—but you aren’t. The heat that stipples your cheeks isn’t born from shame, it’s sprung from lust—pure and primal—and you can’t afford to give it any further consideration because all there is is this man wrenching sounds from you like an animal— and he’s scarcely even touched you yet.
“Your fingers,” you whimper, “I want your hands."
He learned this lesson within those first weeks—relearns it every fucking day. You could ask him for anything - everything - and he would oblige.
He can’t say no to you.
He shifts out from between you, hooking into the elastic of your panties and tears them down your thighs to rest just above your knees, the spread of your legs keeping them from dropping to your ankles.
Patiently - tortuously - he scrapes up your legs, leaving embers in his wake as he trails higher higher higher to where you need him most. You’re shivering—nerve endings fried and frayed—and every atom inside you hums with anticipation, with unbridled impulse.
The orange tips of his gloves dimple your inner thighs - squeezing, massaging - before he tilts his helmet, angling himself to see you better, and paws your swollen lips apart.
Your pussy is drooling for him.
He moans something indecipherable— a curse in Mando’a—at the sight of you glistening for him under the dimmed lights like this, and immediately you buck your pelvis to him, hungry for his touch—and the pathetic noises babbling out of you prove too much for him to bear.
“Fuck this,” he snarls, ripping a glove off and tossing it aside, “I need to feel you.”
Your eyes have dilated with want, blackened as you watch Din retrace his bare hand—that gorgeous thing you’ve never seen, only ever fantasized about—back to your heat and slowly - so fucking slowly - pass a finger through your slit.
You throw your head back, knocking against the durasteel. The mewl that escapes you is inhuman.
He’s so warm. His tan skin is molten—it’s like he brought the sun in with him, as if he’s burning that star straight into your sex. You’re slippery with arousal; you can feel how glossed you are, you don’t have to look. You can hear it—hear the obscene squelches he’s stroking from your seam.
“Maker, you’re - shit - you’re wet,” he groans loudly, reveling in the way you pitch your hips—seeking his warmth, his friction. He’s been toying with you, drawing patterns along your pussy and playing with your puffy folds, but he hasn’t even come close to your clit. You know it’s no accident. Din is methodical in all things, he doesn’t make mistakes. This is a decision—it’s intentional. You think, perhaps, he’s looking to break you—some sort of retribution for these months you’ve spent swimming in circles around each other—and you think, perhaps, you’d let him.
That you’d like it.
When Din grants you mercy, finally gliding his index along your neglected bundle of nerves, reflexively you fist into his cowl, knuckles going pale.
“Stars-” you exclaim—just like that.
He handles your body like he does one of his pistols - practiced, unparalleled - encircling your clit with precision, his finger on your trigger—blinding, perfect agony swiveled into your sweet cleft.
When he pushes himself inside you, all the oxygen gets punched out of your lungs.
“Fuck, and so tight,” Din growls, bending at the knuckle to curl over that spongy spot of your walls that makes you gape, makes your brain go slack. Your arms scamper around his pauldrons, nails scraping sharp over beskar. The heel of his hand presses into your clit and you grind against him, each roll of your hips pleading a filthy please please please as you chase after the orgasm he’s baiting you with.
He responds to that, bourboned praise dripping smug from his smirk. “Fuck, look at you, so desperate—gonna cum for me already?”
You don’t have the wherewithal to formulate a response. He’s fit another finger into you, fucking up into you hard—fucking you exactly how you need him to. It feels like you are about to shatter right there on your feet. It’s almost unbearable, this mounting tension that’s climbing within you. You’ve been so starved for this, so deprived of a kind touch and a good fuck, and within no time at all he’s coaxing you to the ledge of your release.
“Mando,” you sob, entwining your fingers into his cape, grinding grinding grinding into his palm when suddenly, without warning, his ministrations cease—that burning coil abating to a simmer. You let out a rasped pant, collapsing forward onto his shoulder— your climax ripped away from you at the last, pivotal second.
Your eyes are screwed shut, you don’t see the movement—you can only feel it once it’s already there: the bounty hunter’s glove grating over your neck. You sputter out a gasp as he forces your jaw up to align with the chill of his visor, trapped in the unrelenting strength of his grasp. Your eyes clamber around the chrome boxing you in, gulping back the fear coalescing in your mouth.
“You say my name,” he gravels. “You say my name when I’m inside you.”
Your cunt spasms around the fingers still seated within you—aching for movement, aching to cum—and your lower lip quivers as he leers. ��I gave it to you—say it,” he commands.
For a fleeting moment, in the remaining rational corner of your brain, it occurs to you that you’re terrified—that there may be no going back once you speak it. There’s no unmaking this choice. Like a door—a door that swings both ways—once it is cracked ajar, it cannot be closed again. Because you know yourself, you loathe to admit it, but you know his name will crumble you; that you will bend—that you will want to give and give and give to him— and still, despite, you lay onto the handle and fling that door wide open.
“Din.”
“Fuck,” he seethes. His reaction is visceral—the whole of him stiffens, leathered pads of his fingertips searing into your throat. “Again.”
“Din,” you whine as he rocks his fingers into your walls.
He moans, wanton and guttural, at the way his name tumbles from you like velvet. “Good girl—fuck, that’s good.”
He vanishes from your neck, bringing his hand down to cup his cock bulging painfully against the fabric there and your gaze snaps to it, saliva pooling in the well of your mouth. You slither your hand down his breast plate, over the paneling of his flight suit, trailing south until it lands on the hide of his glove. You stop, waiting there - breathless - until he nods curtly.
His hand falls away. You mold your palm to his length.
“Din,” you give freely, high-pitched and girly, and his cock brays under your hand. Fuck, he’s big—you can feel his mass through his pants and your pussy flutters around his fingers moving deliciously lazy inside you. Your eyes latch onto his, the brown of them hidden somewhere under the helm, and you can feel his own bore into you, weighing leaden there—
before you both simultaneously rupture.
Din’s fingers slip out of you to fiddle with the hem of his pants, unbuttoning in a clumsy flourish until he springs free with a groan of relief.
Maker.
He’s fucking divine—long and veined, with a patch of dark curls padding around the base of him. Din weeps for you already, frustrated and pent up from the confines of his restraints, beads of arousal dappling his head. He hisses as you swipe a digit over his cock, smearing his precum down the silken slope of him. You’re transfixed—the both of you staring as you wrap your hand around his shaft and he shudders, keening in to your touch.
“Mm, fuck you’re soft- kriff-”
Din dwarfs you—you barely fit around his girth—and he can’t help but buck into your palm as you begin to move in tandem. Din flicks at your clit, mirroring your pace as you get each other off. It’s awkward and lewd and perfect—both of you, a tapestry of woven limbs and sweat and you pump him harder and harder, choking his cock with your fist. You fuck him raw, the dry drag of your satin hand ripping curses from his mouth.
“Fuck, dala,” he pants, “I-I’m not—” I’m not gonna last. His words are snuffed out as you circle your wrist and brush a thumb over his leaking tip, forcing him to shiver. He doesn’t have to finish his thought, you understand plenty well. You’re dancing along that same precipice, flirting with the fall.
“Stars, yes,” you plead. Fuck, you want him to cum— you need him to. You need to make him feel good, to let him know that you’re here - you’re right here - and that he means more to you than you care to admit; that you want him—have since you first laid eyes on him, since he rescued you, since he took you back to the Crest and gave you the last of his bacta to heal all your splintered bits. That he deserves this—with all that he’s done for you, all that he’s doing for you—
with all that he his.
“Din—please.” Fuck, you don’t even know what you’re asking for—more of him, all of him—and a groan tears through his modulator at the sound of you begging his name—like he’s wounded, like it pains him to hear you say it.
It’s a race now—the two of you hurdling headlong towards this terrible, messy collision. You’re both sloppy—wet sounds and slaps of skin—as you stumble closer to the brink of release. He’s been rendered incoherent, chiseled down to the basest of grunts and broken words you don’t recognize. His thumb finds a devastating pressure on your swollen nub and your legs begin to vibrate, nearly unable to stand on your own two feet with how fucking perfectly he’s working your pussy.
This thing inside you feels giant - monstrous - and that slow wave that’s been building and building and cresting is here, upon you. You’re trapped in the barrel of it, and it’s going to crash at any moment and sweep you out to sea. Drown you—happily, gladly. “I’m - oh fuck—"
“That’s it, good girl,” he praises, tightening his circles on your clit. “Cum for me, cum on my hand-”
A crack of lightening streaks up your middle, the whole of you shaking as your orgasm rushes through, a sputtering cry let loose into the ship. You feel yourself gush, dripping past his thickness stuffing you full, dripping down your inner thighs. Din pulls out from you and you whimper at the loss—his absence leaving you gaping, leaving you bereft. You’re siphoning down air, dizzy from your release, when he raises his hand, glistening with your fluids, and traces your bottom lip—asking for entrance.
Fuck.
You part for him, eager and pliant, and he snakes two fingers inside—tasting your own tang and the leather residue left there, stamped into the whirls of his fingerprints. Your tongue swirls around them, laving him clean, and you drag over the ridges of his shaft— still hard and throbbing and waiting in your grasp. He bobs his fingers in your mouth, matching you thrust for thrust, and you let out a depraved little moan, humming around him, and all Din can do is watch.
Watch as he disappears between your lips—his skin pulling and catching on your plush flesh— watch as you suck on them, watch as he practically fucks your throat. And Maker, you take him so fucking well, letting him do what he pleases with your all too supple body.
He can’t even begin to imagine what his cock would look like—what it would feel like nestled in the hot cavern of your mouth, hollowing your cheeks to suck him like hard candy. Din doesn’t let himself—can’t. If he did, fuck, that’d be it. He’d be done for. He knows he’d cum in a flash and he wants to make this last—to hold on to this - onto you - for as long as he can, allow himself this singular concession. The only time, he convinces himself, the last time.
He won’t think about you again.
He won’t think about you again.
He won’t think about you again.
You quicken your rhythm and Din bucks wildly into your palm, his seizing and twitching alerting you to how close he is. He slides from your mouth, a string of saliva trailing along after as he clasps onto the back of your neck.
“I’m gonna cum, I’m—” Din knots into your hair, gripping you rough, panting frantic. “Fuck. Fuck, dala— cyare-”
With a hoarse shout, he slams his gloved fist into the durasteel and spills over himself in hot, thick pumps, spurts shooting out to splatter on your tunic, on his flight suit, on your knuckles. You ease him through it, his cum glazing down his cock before you slow to a languid stroke, his seed sticky under your palm. You’re panting, the both of you, spent noises reverberating ugly and loud against the metal sidings.
Din sinks his helmet to your forehead while you catch your breath, his cold beskar kissing your flushed skin—the density of it comforting, grounding. Your eyes teeter shut and you let yourself lean into him, a dazed grin tugging at your wet lips. This is— nice; so much gentler than the pace he drove not minutes before. Head to head, his hand buried in your hair, your arm slung over his hulking shoulders; your fingers thread into the askew fabric behind his neck to discover a sliver of skin treasured away underneath. You trace there - lightly, whispered - earning a fizzle of static sent whirring through his vocoder.
“Fuck,” Din mumbles, before unweaving himself and separating from you. Your legs have gone useless and rubbery—you almost face plant forward without him there— and by the time you blink open, he’s already tucked himself into his pants and picked up his glove, slotting it over those skilled fingers that had just filled you to the brim. He turns back round to find you staring at him through the haze of your afterglow, eyes glassy and fucked out; your fluids dribbling down towards your underwear still bunched above your knees, hair tangled with sweat and saliva and cum—his and yours.
You look wrecked—disheveled. You’re so fucking pretty it makes Din want to scream.
He picks up a stray rag from a crate and offers it to you, before silently sliding your panties back up to your hips in one dexterous swipe. He lingers there but for a moment, savoring the touch of you—grazing a digit into the crease of your hip. You’re rendered mute— your brain can hardly string a sentence together— but finally you manage, your voice weak when you find it again.
“Thank you,” you croak, wiping away the traces of him off your knuckles, and you smile coquettish, delirious. “That was… that was, uhm—I really enjoyed that.”
A quiet beat slogs by.
And then, everything shifts.
Din’s hand descends from your waist, holstering it to his side, and he moves away. He moves away from you.
You can feel it immediately—like a gust of chilled wind, the change in the air nips at you. Din’s armor is anything but warm—his presence, his aura, anything but inviting—but now, he seems farther from you than ever before, his visor tempered and steely.
You know him. You know this man. You’ve travelled with him, you’ve mended his ills, you’ve taken care of his son, you’ve spoken his name, you’ve laid prints on his skin and deeper still—
And here, before you, Din is white noise. Indiscernible. Unreadable.
Nervously, you twiddle with the frayed edge of the stained cloth, worrying your cheek. You swear, just for a second, that you see him inch towards you— you think you sense him, some part of him, breaching the chasm that’s formed between you. But it’s only a trick of the lowlight—a trick of your cruel heart, winged and errant beneath your ribs, misconstruing your thoughts to fancy.
Because he doesn’t. He doesn’t come to you like you want. He doesn’t touch you again, he doesn’t hold you like you need.
It feels like you’re withering—your legs too bare, your tunic too short, hair too mussed, eyes too bleary—everything feels wrong now, misplaced. “Din,” you start, you try—you try to keep attached to this tether, to this thin strand you’ve sewn between your bodies, but he shrinks back. He severs it. He is as you first met him. Rigid. Distant. A Mandalorian bounty hunter— the best in the parsec. He is as he was months ago, when you were strangers.
When you were nothing.
“I—” He silences himself, teeth clenching shut around the unspoken sentiment you so long to hear, and instead takes another step backwards. Farther away. Farther from you.
He stands straighter, impossibly taller, and you feel
small.
“Goodnight,” Din gives, his voice shrouded and cloaked by his modulator. He pivots on his heel, retreating into the depths of the Crest and leaves you there, the ghost of his hands on your neck, on your breasts, in your heat— still tingling from where they haunt you. Exhausted, you thud back into the bulkhead, unfocused and unseeing.
“Goodnight Din,” you murmur, but it falls upon deaf ears. He’s gone, and the empty hull swallows your words—burying them.
taggies:
@girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @pedros-mustache @miranhas-art @djarrex @bookloverfilmoholic @keeper0fthestars @misguidedandbeguiled @bookishofalder @helmet-comes-off @grumpymuffinmama @niiight-dreamerrrr @spideysimpossiblegirl @janebby @greatcircle79 @djarinsbeskar @sammysdaisy @whataperfectwasteoftime @mandobloggin @silver-streaked-wings
#din djarin x reader#din djarin x you#din djarin x fem!reader#mando x reader#mando x you#mando x fem!reader#din djarin#the mandalorian#pedro pascal#star wars fanfic#the mandalorian fanfic#king of cups#mandalorian smut
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On A Summer Night
Incubus Hawks x Reader
Partly inspired by the leánnan sídhe/Redcurrant and Joel storyline from Ancient Magus' Bride and a bit of YY’s incubus Hawks audios lol
Been working on this since like... mid-February lolol. Prolly the fic that I’ve spent the most time on lol (not counting multi-chapter fics of course), and so because of that, I’m like, “don’t wanna work on this anymore asdfklhalskjfdh.”
~ Masterlist ~
~ My Hero Academia Masterlist ~
You couldn’t quite remember, but you were absolutely certain that you saw a pair of molten golden eyes peering back at you in your small garden of fruit trees and bird feeders.
The memory was foggy and distant, but you were sure that an ethereally beautiful man with golden eyes, equally golden hair, and wings of scarlet smiled at you. You remember having your breath taken away from you.
After all, how could a man as beautiful as he ever glance in your direction?
Since then, you felt a sort of presence always with you.
A warm embrace, lingering touches, a stroke down your cheek, a brush against your forehead.
You didn’t know what it was, but the small touches were comforting to you in your lonely existence.
Your home, though small and cozy, often felt large and empty before you saw the golden-eyed man, but comfort seemed to have settled in after that fateful meeting.
You were an artist of sorts, and countless times you have tried to capture how this man looked like, but you could never get his features right. In your memory, he was but a blur of gold with sharp, unwavering eyes.
Since that summer night, you would often talk aloud in the quiet of your home if the loneliness became too much. You desperately wanted the presence to know that you knew he was there.
Maybe out of wanting to acknowledge his existence.
Maybe to find companionship in your loneliness.
You would ramble on, not caring in the slightest if what you were saying didn’t make any sense or if you were crazy.
You just wanted to see him again.
Keigo Takami silently floated beside you, curiously watching as you cooked your dinner, nodding and commenting every so often—even if you couldn’t hear him—when you would speak.
The incubus had grown attached to you ever since that night in the garden.
He had only been there to admire the several bird feeders and bird boxes you had in your small garden when you had stepped outside and made eye contact with him.
The way you let out a small gasp, your eyes dilating sightly, and a blush gently riding up your face. He relished your reaction to him.
Amused, the incubus decided to watch you.
What he didn’t expect was to fall in love with you.
You, the quiet little dove who would speak to him about your musings. The quiet little dove who would let out soft sighs every time he would touch you or gasp when he could brush lingering kisses against your forehead and cheeks.
You were so small and innocent in comparison to him, a demon of carnal desire. Just the thought of you alone drove him crazy, but he never once tried to satiate his needs with you.
To him, you were a bring of purity that needed to be protected.
“You’re being haunted, you know?”
Somewhere in the background, Keigo rolled his eyes.
You smiled fondly as you poured your friend, Fumikage, some more tea. “You don’t say. He doesn’t seem to be mean, though.”
Fumikage frowned. “He may not be, but he is of the... unsavory sort...”
You simply munched on your sandwich as you nodded dismissively. “Even if that’s the case, he’s been around for quite a while not, and he hasn’t done anything to me. I can feel that he’s very sweet too... I trust him.”
The young man sighed. “Whatever you say. But, as soon as you feel something off or bad, come to me immediately.”
“That’s very kind of you, Fumi. While I don’t think I’ll need your help with him, I’ll keep your words in mind.”
“... He says his name is Keigo. Keigo Takami.”
You smiled again, gently testing out the name. “Keigo, huh?”
Keigo felt his wings quiver in pleasure upon hearing you utter his name.
It was true that knowing the true name of another meant that you held power over them, but the way you said his name sent the scarlet-winged incubus reeling.
So innocent, the way you sounded out the vowels of his first name, and yet it had such a powerful pull on him.
Keigo had yet to even utter your own name despite having known it for a long while now. He knew the moment he did, you’d be ruined by him forever, and the incubus was intent on keeping you pretty and pure for a while longer.
A few days had passed since your friend visited, but ever since learning the name of the presence, you felt that you could perceive him better.
Every so often, you’d see glimpses of scarlet feathers fluttering around or brilliant, red wings just at your periphery. Even the touches had more weight to them.
You smiled every time you uttered the incubus’s name—Fumikage told you exactly what the presence was. You found that you really liked saying his name, and you were sure he also did as you would feel a gentle brush against your forehead.
Your drawings of him were getting better also, and you were excited to finally capture the memory you saw that summer night.
Keigo silently watched over you as you slept peacefully in your bed. The nights were now getting longer and colder, and long past was the summer night you first saw him.
Despite that, an odd, tender warmth grew in the incubus every time he looked at you. It was a strange thing for him to feel considering the kind of being he was, but it was a most welcome feeling to him.
The red-winged incubus often heard stories of demons such as himself taking on humans as mates or even lovers. It was a very rare situation, and Keigo had initially readily written it off as—ironically enough—a fairy tale. And yet, here he was, in love with a human.
His little dove of a human.
You began to stir a little bit, catching the attention of the incubus. Under your breath, you gently moaned out his name.
Desire flashed through the incubus, impure thoughts filling him as he drew closer to take in the smell of your arousal. His golden eyes gazed hungrily over your form, taking delight in the blush spread prettily across your cheeks and the way your chest heaved up and down with soft moans and pants.
“Soon...” Keigo growled lowly, placing a possessive kiss across your lips, drinking in your moans. “Soon, you’ll be mine.”
The incubus would bide his time until the perfect moment to make you his mate and lover.
Hopefully, if I ever get inspired and get around to it, I’ll write a part 2 with ✨smut✨
Is pointedly ignoring the Dabi x Religious Reader fic that was supposed to have a part 2 with smut asjkdfhaljkdshf
Edit: I wrote the sequel! "In The Cold Winter"
#hawks x reader#keigo takami x reader#takami keigo x reader#hawks x you#keigo takami x you#takami keigo x you#mha hawks#bnha hawks#keigo takami#takami keigo#incubus hawks#incubus keigo takami#incubus takami keigo#incubus#incubus au#raine gets wet for hawks
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also on ao3
Eris has been in the Tower for barely three weeks when she gets the message.
It should come as more of a surprise, but Eris has known since she crawled gasping out of the Moon’s tunnels that she would not have peace for long, even in the Tower. Even after she’d been discovered and inspected and questioned, spoken softly to and coddled and ensconced gently in her own private quarters— quarters in the civilian wing, far away from her old rooms.
“All your things are still in storage,” Ikora had told her that first day, watching Eris look around her new bedroom, empty save the large windows looking down on the memorial gardens. The view is of the Firebreak section; Eris had refused anything where she could see the names of the people she’d known, where the City planners had just yesterday taken down the stone inscribed with her own name.
She still hasn’t retrieved any of her things, the ragged cloaks or the blankets or the chipped mugs she’d stolen from the Hunter’s Lounge. She thinks about going into that dark room filled with the markers of her past life, sometimes. Sometimes she thinks she will open the heavy metal door and her old self will be standing there, surrounded by the past. Sometimes this is a dream; more often it is a nightmare.
Every few days, Eris sneaks into the supply closet at the end of the hallway and takes one of the chain locks from its carefully-labeled container. She installs them carefully, tests her weight against the door to see if it gives: fragile charms against some future ruin. She knows anything she is truly afraid of could not be stopped by something so mortal, but the action gives her hands something to do; material action, however useless, in service of her own protection.
(She’d done the same on the Moon, before they’d ventured down into the pit: the six of them, holed up in some small lunar colony outbuilding, she and Vell nailing sheets of spinmetal to the doors to keep out wandering Hive in the night. The chalk of bone dust in her throat as Toland had hung Hive-charms over each threshold, humming to himself.
Sai had looked at him, grin questioning. “Are those going to blow us up?”
Eris knows now they would’ve done much worse.)
She hauls herself to her feet, examines her handiwork. If Ikora saw her, she’d call Eris obsessive. Eris knows she is; she wants something new to obsess over. Wants to think of nothing but Crota, to dream of nothing else until his great luminescent corpse is rotting in his Throne. This is why, when her comm chimes with the one-two tone of a summons, she turns toward it with an eager expectation. Maybe Ikora has convinced the Vanguard to listen to her, finally.
The message is from a channel she’s never seen, not before she entered the Hellmouth or since. There’s no text, just a string of coordinates and, at the bottom, a series of pictographs. They’re not Hive runes, have none of the sinuous incomprehensibility.
Eris, the habit worn into her, has her suspicions. But she speaks of them to no one, has the feeling she’s guessed the importance of the secret she’s been entrusted with.
The message has no date attached, so she waits a few more days before acting. She spends that time in a stupor, drifting around her little room, sometimes venturing to the library or to the secluded back hallways of the Hidden to ask for information. She still keeps to the shadows, because no one in the City or the Tower has grown used to her presence yet. Idly, she considers the idea that she is making her problem worse, only alienating herself further by refusing to come fully into the light, to let herself be seen. In these in-between days, she cannot bring herself to care.
She considers leaving without telling anyone. She does not think she will be gone long, and she does not need permission to leave the City. But she considers what the Vanguard, already suspicious of her, would think, what conclusions they would draw. What Ikora would think if Eris disappeared into the night, like she’d done with Eriana so many years ago.
Finally, she sneaks into Ikora’s office.
Eris wastes no time on formalities once she sees Ikora's figure behind her desk, piled high with reports. "I am leaving the City for the afternoon," she says. It is not a lie, because she is loathe to hide anything but what she must from the one person who has tried to welcome her back into the City, who still sees her as an equal. "I am not going off-world. I should be back before tomorrow." The words feel stiff in her mouth even as she says them, but she is still relearning conversations not conducted in whispers or screams.
Ikora does not beam at her, does not over-indulge her, but Eris can still feel the warmth of her Light radiating outward. “Alright," she says, "Radio if you need any assistance. And let me know if you see anything unusual. I’ve been receiving strange reports, lately.”
Eris hopes that isn’t a warning. She inclines her head, leaves without a word.
She departs immediately, before her paranoia can get the better of her. She flies over the Cosmodrome for half an hour before inputting the coordinates she’d long since memorized— some Hidden practicality had made her delete the message almost as soon as she’d read it. She comes to the location soon enough, a little clearing tucked into some foothills. Still on Earth, which she privately considers a blessing. She does not know if she would have been able to leave it, yet, not when her wounds are still so raw.
Eris parks her little ship in the shadow of a few trees. She feels secure having it a physical presence near her, a concrete mode of retreat. It’s more than she’d ever had in the tunnels.
She picks her way across a stream, climbs to the top of a small hill that rises over the clearing. She sees the figure immediately, cutting a striking figure against the weak afternoon light. Even from here, he hurts her eyes to look at. She grimaces, continues down towards him.
As she grows closer, the figure grows more obvious: Osiris. She’d had her suspicions, driven by what she’d remembered of his writings before his exile, Toland’s ravings. Even the message had a certain Warlock quality to it, a mystery, a challenge. She and Eriana had crafted just such a message with their own hands once, join us in our quest…
Osiris looks as she remembers him, though she’d only ever seen him from a distance. Eriana had disliked him, had hated his presence as Warlock Vanguard. Despised his position because of the power it gave him over the Praxic Fire, who stood in clear opposition to everything he'd gradually become.
(“I don’t see why he’s so desperate to understand them. I’m tired of trying to simply understand,” Eriana had groaned once, servos whirring, bent over some ancient tome. “I do not need to know the Hive to raze them to ashes. I only need to know what they have taken from us.”)
Forgive me, Eris thinks. She will not get her vengeance without fully comprehending everything the Hive are, without learning the weft and weave of their existence so that she can unravel it.
She blinks and she is standing before him. “Osiris,” she says. Maybe it is her memories of Eriana but she feels like a newly-Risen, again, standing before him. He is a figure cut neatly from her past and transplanted into the present, unchanging, looking down at her.
“Eris Morn,” he says, and Eris does not startle but she is, for some reason, surprised that he knows just who she is. She knows that it is her own tortuous journey that has made him seek her out, that it is her pain that has made her valuable. Some part of her rails against it, even as she is desperate to turn her nightmares into something usable, to prove to herself that their deaths were not meaningless, that they have done something other than feed the Hive’s ever-eager desire for suffering.
Osiris is looking at her strangely. Eris tries to stare back, but her eyes skitter sideways off of him, the afterimage of his silhouette burning in her eyes. She must make another face, because Osiris’ Ghost slides close to him, spinning intently, and the aura of his Light fades to a shimmer over his skin.
“I know you have information regarding the Hive,” he tells her. “The City ignores your warnings.”
“As they ignored yours.” It is not meant as a challenge, but everything she says sounds bitter, now.
Most of his face is covered, but the tilt of his head changes. “Yes. But we both know what is coming. The question is how to stop it.”
Eris has never been good at these Warlock-games, at talking in circles, hinting closer and closer to what lies plain before them both. “I think I know how to kill Crota,” she says, because she needs to get to the heart of the thing that has been eating her alive. She needs to tell someone who will understand.
And she thinks Osiris will understand, because he has not been through the Hellmouth but he does understand what it is like to exist utterly alone with the enemy, to be shaped by your experience of something completely alien. To be so utterly changed that everyone around you can only think you mad.
“Tell me, then,” he says, and so she does.
#destiny the game#eris morn#osiris#my fic#sometimes you have to get a fic out of your brain in order to get to the actual fic you want to write#aka 'this is the prequel to that eris&osiris fic i was talking about last month'#(they'll actually interact in that one i promise)
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the enemy of my enemy (must be my ally)
Summary: When one of his akumas attacks Adrien and one of his classmates, Gabriel Agreste discovers that Marinette Dupain-Cheng would prove a very useful ally against Ladybug and Chat Noir.
How had he not discovered sooner? But oh well—better late than never. Ladybug will never know what’s coming.
Notes: from this post because everyone wanted me to write it. i warned y’all. feat. gabriel’s 2 functional brain cells.
AO3 | Kofi
Gabriel Agreste isn’t past admitting his mistakes.
Most of them have involved Adrien, so he supposes that it’s time to pay attention to the trend. And all of those mistakes have involved his growing career as Hawkmoth—and, more specifically, the choices he makes for whom he akumatizes.
Lila Rossi, now known as Princess Perfect—seriously, what the hell was wrong with this girl? He’d given her the liberty of choosing her akuma name, but such a godawful name is a bad reflection on him as well—kicks down the door of the classroom.
He sees it all through Lila’s eyes, like he does with all the akumas. Doesn’t mean he’s particularly happy about the turnout of this particular akumatization.
“What are you doing?” Gabriel demands to her. “I want Ladybug and Chat Noir’s Miraculous! You’re going the wrong way.”
Relax. Lila’s voice drifts into his head. I need to take a little detour.
“What detour—” Oh. Oh, shit.
In the classroom, packing their bags, is his son and that Chinese girl with pigtails—Marinette. The one that Gabriel knows Lila Rossi intensely hates. The one that he doesn’t like either, because for some reason, his son is infatuated with her. It’s Marinette-this, Marinette-that these days, and Adrien just won’t stop gushing about her. Father, look at these designs! They’re Marinette’s. Father, look who’s on the news—it’s Marinette! Father, can you hire Marinette to work at Gabriel Brand?
Marinette, a real headache. Gabriel rubs his temples. Maybe it’s a good thing that Lila’s after her. Better to nip it in the bud before Adrien’s attachment becomes a real problem.
“Fine,” he grounds out to Lila. “But leave Ad—leave the blonde boy alone.”
Already ahead of you, Hawkie.
“Don’t call me that!”
She ignores him in favour of turning to the two victims. Adrien is standing in front of Marinette, arms spread in a protective stance, glaring at the akuma. For a couple moments, nobody speaks.
Then, Marinette, eyebrows furrowing, says, “You’re Lila, aren’t you. Seriously? What is this—your third akumatization? Fourth?”
“My name is Princess Perfect now,” Lila growls back. “Get out of my way, Adrien.”
Marinette literally gags. “Did Hawkmoth choose that name for you?”
“No, I didn’t,” Gabriel seethes. Unfortunately, none of them can hear him.
“Yes, he did,” Lila lies breezily. “But that’s not important. You think you’re such a hot shot, Marinette? You think you can take the spotlight from me without repercussions? I’m going to make sure everyone hates you and loves me, and you’ll learn your lesson for trying to cross me. After all, who can say no to Princess Perfect?”
Gabriel sighs through his nose. Are all teens this dramatic?
Apparently, they are. Betrayal comes from those closest to home, because it’s Adrien that holds up his arms even higher, still staring Lila down. “You’re going to have to go through me if you want to hurt her,” he promises. “Marinette, get out of here! Run!”
Oh, for heaven’s sake—
Two things happen at once. Lila darts towards them, her whip lashing out directly at Adrien. Gabriel swears under his breath—why isn’t Adrien moving out of the way? Why is he so intent on protecting that useless girl? “Lila!” he barks through the bond, but the akumatized girl is too far gone. “Touch him and I’ll make sure—”
Gabriel trails into dumbfounded silence when Marinette shoves Adrien aside, grabs the end of Lila’s whip, and tugs the weapon straight out of the girl’s hands.
“You’ve gone too far,” she growls in a tone so chilly that it even reaches him. “Adrien, get out of here! I can handle her.”
Lila’s own shock lasts for a couple of times before she regains some of her composure. “You?” she sneers. “Handle me? Why, you pathetic—”
Adrien chucks a pencil case at Lila. It hits her cheek, and she whirls on him, enraged. At the same time, Marinette darts away from the window and slides behind the large wooden desk at the front. Gabriel, still watching the scene unfold, scoffs. So for all her big talk, she’s still nothing but a coward.
“Stand down,” he commands Lila once more. “Don’t you dare touch Adrien—what the hell?”
Lila seems to have noticed the source of his bewilderment as well, but it’s far too late. From underneath the desk, Marinette has lifted the thing—the giant, wooden desk—onto her shoulders.
Gabriel’s positive he stops breathing.
“Wait—” Lila begins. He sees it all through her eyes: Marinette braces herself for a moment and then throws it—throws the desk that a grown man shouldn’t be able to lift—right at Lila.
She doesn’t stand a chance. Lila goes down in a crash, pinned under the weight of Ms. Bustier’s desk that this small, petite girl had somehow bench-pressed and then chucked.
As much as Lila struggles, she is unable to remove the desk from on top of her. Given that his akumas have enhanced strength and she’s still incapable of lifting it, just how strong is Marinette?
Said girl in question stalks over to Lila. She plants a foot firmly against the overturned side of the desk and looks down at the girl trapped underneath.
Gabriel is certain that somehow, impossible as it sounds, Marinette is staring right through Lila’s eyes, through their connection, and into his own. His body freezes. His jaw locks. And for the first time in a very, very long time, Gabriel Agreste is absolutely terrified.
“Next time you try something like this,” Marinette growls, leaning in, “I won’t let you off so easily.”
With that ominous note, she snatches the necklace off Lila’s neck and marches right out of the classroom.
Gabriel remains frozen for a couple more moments. He isn’t certain if he still remembers how to breathe.
It wasn’t Ladybug nor Chat Noir that had foiled this plan. No, it was Adrien Agreste’s classmate, a girl who had previously annoyed him, that had single handedly defeated an akuma and scared him absolutely shitless.
What. The. Fuck.
***
“Adrien,” Gabriel says over dinner. “You know that girl you always talk about? Marinette Dupain-Cheng?”
His son looks up from his meal with a bright look on his face. Once upon a time, Gabriel would’ve been annoyed. Now, after reevaluating the girl, he comes to the conclusion that it’s best Adrien stays on Marinette’s good side. She’s probably more than capable of beating his son up.
“Yeah, Marinette?” Adrien echoes. “You know how there was an akuma attack today? Well, Marinette was actually there in the classroom with me when the akuma came for us.”
Gabriel is forced to play ignorant. “Oh? What happened?”
“Well, the akuma tried to attack us, and Marinette picked up a desk—you might find it hard to believe, and honestly I would’ve too if I hadn’t seen her do it—and threw it at the akuma. When Ladybug and Chat Noir finally showed up, there wasn’t even anything for them to do.”
Gabriel shifts in his seat. “That is… rather unbelievable."
Except he swears he can still feel the heat of Marinette’s glare, and is forced to accept that this is the reality he’s living in.
“Why did you ask about her, though, father?”
He snaps back into the present. “Huh?”
“Marinette—why did you ask about her? Wait, father, are you reconsidering hiring her? Did you finally look at the designs I sent you? This is amazing. I’m sure she’ll do amazing. Your stocks will rise. You’ll get more customers. Marinette’s basically a walking lucky charm—this will be the best decision you’ve ever made, father. I promise.”
He frowns at Adrien. “Don’t make preposterous suggestions. But yes— I am considering giving Marinette Dupain-Cheng a job at the company, perhaps an internship one of the senior designers. She’s very… talented.”
He thinks of the way she’d lifted the desk and flung it at Lila. Talented, indeed.
Perhaps talented enough to finally give him an edge against Ladybug and Chat Noir.
***
Marinette Dupain-Cheng is more than eager to come in for a so-called interview. Nathalie has done her digging on the girl: she’s made it pretty big quite a couple times already, in the fashion industry and has quite a few connections. Even if Gabriel’s motivations aren’t technically for the company, he has to admit that she has much future potential to tap into in the future. But for now, that’s not his goal.
She’s impeccably dressed when Nathalie leads her inside his study. Her eyes are positively shining when she beams at Gabriel. “Mr. Agreste!” Marinette chirps. “I’m so happy to be here. When Adrien told me you wanted to interview me for the job…this is such an amazing opportunity to be presented with, and I am so honoured.”
Gabriel exchanges a glance with Nathalie. She nods subtly.
“It’s my pleasure to meet you, Ms. Dupain-Cheng.” He rises from his desk and holds out his hand for her to shake. She does so.
It takes all of Gabriel’s self-control not to show the pain on his face when she grips his hand.
How the fuck is this girl so strong?
Thankfully, Marinette doesn’t seem to notice anything wrong. Gabriel draws back his hand and tucks it behind his back. It’s throbbing.
“So, Marinette.” He sits back down at his desk. Marinette is practically bouncing on the balls of her feet. If she were any normal person, Gabriel might’ve snapped at her to settle down, but after that show with Lila yesterday, he decides that it’s for his own good not to get on her bad side. He’ll just have to channel all his patience—for self-preservation, really. “I understand that you’re interested in interning at my company?”
She nods excitedly. “I’ve been designing for years, Mr. Agreste—I’m aware that I have a lot to improve on—”
“What I have in mind for you—” Gabriel pauses, realizing that he’d interrupted her. Hurriedly, he gulps. “Never mind. Continue.”
“I’m aware that I have a lot to improve on but I’m a very quick learner! I promise I’ll do my very best to help you and your company.”
He nods. “That’s good to hear. For now, I’ll… I’ll arrange with Nathalie what we can assign you to do in the company. And I have another favour to ask of you, if it’s not too much.”
Marinette smiles. “Whatever it is, I’ll do my best to help you!”
Nathalie had warned him to be careful with Marinette—one wrong move and he could be ousted as Hawkmoth. He takes a deep breath. “I have become aware that there are some bad influences around my son in school. You are friends with Adrien, yes?”
“Yes, and… bad influences?” Marinette frowns, shifting her weight. “Oh, yeah, there’s one in particular. Actually, I’m not sure if you’re aware, Mr. Agreste, but I’m glad you brought it up. You know that akuma yesterday? That girl’s name was Lila Rossi. She’s been hanging around Adrien quite a bit these days, and ‘bad influence’ barely covers what she does. And—oh! When I confronted her once about making Adrien uncomfortable, she told me she had a ‘friend in a high place’ that was backing her up. I think you might want to look into that too, Mr. Agreste. It was pretty worrisome, to be honest.”
Gabriel’s mouth has gone dry. “I… yes. Yes, I shall look into that too.”
Marinette rolls her shoulders. “God, if I knew who they were, I’d throw them into the Seine. How dare they.” Then her eyes widen. “Sorry, Mr. Agreste! I was just… um, I was just talking to myself. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s perfectly alright,” Gabriel reassures immediately, although it doesn’t do much to ease the chill that is travelling up his spine. “Then it’s decided? Nathalie will give you her contact information—you can send her your resume just for formalities, and she will organize the rest. And… be sure to keep an eye on my son at school.”
“I will!” Marinette chirps, ever so chipper. Behind that attitude lies the strength to lift the desk he’s currently sitting and crush him. And much, much more.
Nathalie guides the girl away. Gabriel is unable to breathe fully until she leaves.
He has to calculate this well, because he can’t afford to lose a potential ally like Marinette Dupain-Cheng. He’s already thinking—perhaps she would do well with the Peacock Miraculous, or the Bee Miraculous, if he can get his hands on it again. If—if he can somehow convince Marinette to help him with his cause, all of his other plans don’t even need to go into action. Ladybug and Chat Noir will never see this coming.
Nathalie returns. “Sir, your face is rather pale,” she notes. “But may I ask what that was about? You were… unusually lenient today.”
Gabriel clears his throat and straightens in his seat. “Never mind me,” he dismisses. “But first, I need to contact Lila Rossi as soon as possible to cut off all ties. Let her know she’s fired.”
“Is this because…?”
He allows himself a small smile. “You’ll see soon, Nathalie,” he reassures. “We’ve finally got the upperhand in this fight.”
Notes: i lost brain cells writing it, and i’m sure y’all have lost brain cells reading it.
Fics masterlist here!
#miraculous ladybug#marinette dupain cheng#adrien agreste#gabriel agreste#hawkmoth#bamf marinette#gabriel is TERRIFIED of marinette#as he should be#crack#humour#yall asked for this its not my fault#ml#mlb fic#my writing#that being said if you tag this gabrinette i will hunt you down
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Origins
Spencer Reid x Gender Neutral Reader
Summary: Reader feels homesick after a particularly gruesome case. Spencer can’t buy a plane ticket, but he can try to help recreate part of home with them.
A/N: hey heyyyy- this is my eighth fic for my 30 fics in 30 days for April- I’m very nervous for this one to be honest- idk if it’s going to be a lot of peoples cup of tea- this one had me researching a lot lol since I have no clue about boats at all lol- I hope I did the request at least a bit of justice (sorry in advance if I fuck up any terms or anything) but I think I did pretty well with my research (I think). I originally got the request from @imagining-in-the-margins when she handed it over to me also thanks for some help on the folklore parts too! Here it is-
I always want to hear from you guys so feel free to drop me an ask here- and hopefully y’all enjoy!!
Warnings: ~disclaimer lol I know nothing about boating~ Anyway into the other warnings- Takes place directly after season 3 episode 8 (Lucky with Floyd Feylinn) Spencer gets really fucking sea sick- poor baby, Reader is from overseas (originally Cornwall in the request but I made it a bit more vague) and Reader’s father is a fisherman
Main Masterlist Word Count: 1.8k
The air that floated around whenever I was out on the water, salty sea water or fresh salt water always seemed to breath life back into my lungs. The river that we were boating on was quite salty near its widest point, tides brought the saltwater in to mix with the fresh making the water quite brackish.
I was lucky to still live somewhat near water after I had moved over to America. I hadn’t had the luxury of picking exactly where I was going to live and work when I transferred to the FBI, I just happened to draw all the right cards. With my schedule I didn’t go out on the water as much as I used to, definitely not as often as I had as a child. I yearned often to feel the specific type of air people only felt when on the water, especially when my job got particularly gruesome.
Gruesome was a way to define the last case my team and I had been brought in to investigate. My stomach churned at the thought of our last unsub, his name couldn’t leave my mind and the images of his heinous acts certainly didn’t leave either. Floyd Feylinn Ferell had been his name, though I wished I could forever scrub it from my memory. His crimes were too vile that everything seemed to trigger a memory, specifically of the frozen corpses.
The team had even noticed how affected I was by the case, often sending me worrying looks whenever it looked like blood drained from my face over sheer shock- just like the corpses. Cases had been gruesome before, sure, but there was something about this one made me feel frozen by fear.
I needed air, and not just any old air.
Homesickness was another factor that was making me feel so ill. I hadn’t been back to my home in so long, the only time I spoke with my father was over the phone, no video chats at all. He was just as technophobic as Spencer, maybe even more so to be honest. My father’s life as a fisherman hadn’t made him exceptionally tech savvy. He did know how to work a phone now thanks to you, which was another similarity to him and Spencer. I had helped Spencer learn how to work his new smartphone just last week.
Spencer, my lovely boyfriend of a few months, wanted to help quell my dark thoughts as best as he could with all of his knowledge. His first solution was to always revert to books, which I didn’t mind, it only made him more special to me. He tried to find books that would remind me of home- and get my mind off of gruesome cases that were closed and shut cases.
Hotch had then suggested the team take a day off, just one. After weeks of back to back cases with little to no reprieve we’d finally get some time alone, even if it was only for a day. All I needed was one day to get on the water and cleanse myself of the negative thoughts I had been feeling lately.
It was actually Spencer that had first suggested this excursion. He had come to one of our dates with his arms full of pamphlets all about renting a boat for the day. He also had definitely read up about boats, I’d expect nothing less of Spencer. I had learned it was his way of subtly showing affection, researching anything that I even was passively interested in.
Spencer packed even more than I did when we set off on the day long date, packing to the brim at least one too many bags- to be honest he packed two too many bags.
Once we had gotten the boat out into the water, the relief was almost instant. It was like my body knew I was home. I wasn’t actually at home of course, but it somehow knew I was near the water again. Honestly, Spencer hadn’t been far off when he called me a mermaid on one of our first dates, I had gone on a ramble about my love for it.
The water wasn’t nearly as clear as where I had grown up, much more dull in my opinion. But, the breeze that danced across my skin as well as the water made me feel more at home then I had been in a long time. After letting the mist spray onto my cheeks for a while I looked over to check on Spencer, who was not doing well by the looks of it.
Spencer’s face was twisted up in a grimace, not used to being in a boat. Until I had asked him a few weeks ago, to make sure it would be safe to go out on the water with him, I hadn’t even been sure he could swim. I also wasn’t that surprised that he had this reaction, it would have been less of a problem if it was a boat that I had picked out and bought. But, I’d take what I’d get if only to be by the water.
He pretended to hide his urge to dry heave over the side of the small boat that I had rented for the weekend. He looked almost green at this point, I knew he was only staying for my benefit at this point making me a tad bit sad. Water definitely seemed to have the opposite effect on Spencer compared to me, being on the water always felt like instant relaxation to me.
I still, however, didn’t want him to feel any major discomfort like he was obviously feeling so I decided to pipe up since he wouldn’t tell me himself, “Are you sure you’re ok enough to stay, Spencer?”
He pulled his life vest around himself as tight as he could while crossing his arms around his stomach. It took him a second to answer and in that time I almost started to turn the boat around back to the bay.
“I’m fine!” He squeaked out and I could see a shiver run through him. If I had offered to turn the boat around he’d most definitely have given me a glare, not wanting me to turn it around for his own sake. I squinted my eyes in suspicion, he was not completely fine obviously, but if he was insistent on staying maybe I could find something to distract him from it.
“Do you want to hear a sea shanty or do you want me to tell a regular story?” I asked out into the wind, thinking that might distract him from his nausea.
“A story, but you can’t call them regular stories.” He teased back as well as he could with the urge to dry heave, as if he didn’t know what I had meant. I scooted a little closer to him before I prepared myself to tell my story.
Selkies were always the ones I started out with whenever I told the stories I had grown up with. Despite its dark undertones I had latched onto the story as a child, finding it similar to the mainstream perception of what mermaids were. Though I’m reality seals that could transform into humans were a far cry from mainstream ideas of mermaids, a Merrow would have been a better comparison.
I always gave Spencer the origins of the story, he liked to know exactly where they had come from and how I had heard about the story in the first place, “As you know by now the folklore about Selkie’s originates from Scotland. Well- let me think about what I haven’t told you about Selkies before…” I pondered for a moment before remembering an aspect of the Selkies powers I hadn’t educated Spencer on yet. There was no doubt in my mind that he probably had all this information stored away in his brain somewhere, it was nice to know that someone genuinely cared about the stories I liked to tell. “Selkies are immortal, but they can be killed by other creatures. And I know I’ve told you that part, but I haven’t told you that they are generally killed by sharks when they are in seal form.”
I then went into the whole lore surrounding Selkie’s immortality. My hands were waving around animatedly as I talked, just like how the small waves were rocking our boat. They had definitely calmed down by now, hopefully Spencer would feel better soon.
Once I finished my tale I beamed over at him, my mood had brightened significantly over this trip, even though I could sense that Spencer’s had not. Though the story might have helped, he seemed a little less sickly now. He then managed to ask again without puking, “Could you tell another story? Maybe about the Kelpies? Or the Pixies of Cornwall? You can pick anything though really, I love listening to your stories.”
My heart swelled enough from his words that I thought it might burst. I wouldn’t have expected anything less of Spencer, he always hunted for more knowledge about things he was maybe more ignorant about compared to other topics.
I opted to then tell him about the Kelpies, who were also water dwelling creatures, before moving onto the pixies. He even seemed to be getting attached to the same stories that you favored as a child, and even as an adult.
I looked over at him as I finished my last little bit of information that I felt I could muster up today. A smile filled with fondness crept onto my face, his fluffy hair strewn about. It was cute despite his lingering sea sickness.
His face was remarkably less green now, my stories must have soothed him which made me feel heat run to my cheeks. Each time Spencer took interest in my origins I felt deeper feelings bubbling up, that were more than what we had expressed yet. Instead of voicing my full feelings just yet, I leaned forward to give him a chaste kiss on the forehead. He may have not looked green anymore, but I’d wait to give him a kiss on the lips until after we got back to shore, just in case something was to happen.
“Can you sing now?” I knew that he was not requesting me to sing any silly old song. He wanted me to sing the sea shantys that my father had taught me as a child. Not that I minded his request, I’d do anything to make him happier and I loved singing them anyway.
I smiled brightly as I guided the boat back to shore while I sang, already feeling lighter. It had not just been the water this time that made me feel better, it was also because of Spencer. He had taken so much care to help me feel more connected with home, loving to learn about your origins.
Ask Me Anything
—-
Tag lists (message me if you want to be added):
All works: @shotarosleftpinky @oreogutz @90spumkin @kyra-morningstar @s1utformgg @takeyourleap-of-faith I’m sorry 😭
All MGG characters: @muffin-cup @willowrose99
Spencer Reid/CM: @calm-and-doctor @destiny-tsukino @safertokiss @slutforthegubes @onlyhereforthefanfics @jareauswifey
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fluff#criminal minds x reader#matthew gray gubler x reader#matthew gray gubler fluff#matthew gray gubler#mgg#mgg x reader#criminal minds#30 fics in 30 days
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I got 25 asks that took me WAY too long to reply to! :}
I have two top favorite episodes, the cone snail episode and the beluga whales episode.
When it comes to my favorite part of both episodes..?
..Not happy parts...
I have absolutely no idea what you just suggested.
(Referring to this post)
Thank you! That was the intention. :} I was worried that their faces all looked weird..
You want to learn more? Man.. maybe I should post that headcannon draft..
Yeah haha, this blog has taken quite the U-turn hasn’t it? I’m just glad everyone seems okay with it so far. <:} I’m excited for season 5 also! I hope it comes out soon! :D
THANK YOU, I WILL CHERISH THIS LOVE YOU HAVE GIVEN ME FOREVER
Yes and no.
Does he think of his crew as children? Absolutely not. They are all fully grown, intelligent and capable adults, and he darn well treats them like it.
But you bet that if one of them is in danger or is frightened, he’s dropping everything he’s doing and rushing to their aid as if they’re his cub that just wondered out onto the highway.
ME TOO! I always felt like he had this fatherly vibe to him with some professionalism sprinkled on top. Like he’s always looking out for his team because he cares for them and worries about them, but its kind of disguised as him just doing his job as the Captain.
I plan to draw more Protective Barnacles because its my jam, so don’t worry! That side of you will have some more fuel soon XD. And thank you for all the compliments! :}
Daww thank you, it twaz nothin. I’m just glad that people want to see my art.
Well, taking everyone into consideration, the tallest is Captain Barnacles, and the shortest is Tomminow. (This little guy 👇)
The Vegimals aside though? Peso is the shortest.
(And thank you! I’m glad :})
Honestly? Awful. I feel like absolute garbage, I just hope this will all finally go away soon.
Not really no, and no thanks on the cookies, I shouldn’t eat anything until I get super hungry because everything gives me stomachaches.. But a hug would sure be nice right about now.
I can give you a link to their wiki pages if that’ll help, I’m not really good with my words and you can learn everything you need to know about them there. <:}
Captain Barnacles (The polar bear guy)
Kwazii (The orange pirate cat guy)
Peso (The bby Penguin doktor)
Shellington (Tall Otter boi)
Dashi (Doge girl with skirt)
Professor Inkling (Fancy squik)
Tweak (Green bunny country gal chick)
The Vegimals (Little veggie dudes)
All the Gups (Metal fishes)
The Octopod (Momma metal squik)
Whos the youngest Octonaut? Well, if we’re not including the Vegimals, I’d say its probably Peso. And the oldest is most likely Professor Inkling.
Does anyone have claustrophobia? Yes! Captain Barnacles canonically does. He got trapped in a deep hole in some icy caves as a cub, since then he’s been afraid of tight and closed in spaces. I have extended on that fact and thought of many different scenarios relating to the aftermath of the Octonauts movie, but you know.. still not confident in all this Octonauts stuff so I haven’t posted my headcannons yet. <:/
Novelas translated into English means Soap Opera.
You think so? I feel like that’s not Kwazii’s thing, he’d probably like horror movies and action filled movies. But Peso probably would like them not gonna lie, him and Dashi would probably watch them together.
Well, in my draft post I’ve got two headcannons for her so far.
Tweak likes sleeping in the launch bay for the #1 reason that she can hear the water sloshing around in the bay. Which mimics the sound the water in the swamp used to make when she lived there with her Dad.
Tweak gets bad migraines when she’s sick, so the other Octonauts have to do a lot to accommodate her. Because the beds in the med bay aren’t that soft, she prefers to sleep in her room when she’s sick. But then the usually comforting sounds of the water in the launch bay become pain inducing. So the launch bay is emptied of all its water, the lights are shut off and, unless its an emergency, no one is allowed in the launch bay until she recovers.
I looked it up, and its true.
KWAZII WAS A GIRL IN THE BOOKS?? THEN WHY IS HE A BOY IN THE SHOW?? WHY DID THEY CHANGE THAT?? WH??? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like this Kwazii more than I would any other version of him, but still, WHY’D THEY CHANGE THAT?? IM GLAD THEY DID BUT WHY??
Hmm.. let me think...
Captain Barnacles most likely doesn’t ever have uninterrupted free time, and even when he does, he probably still prefers to be up in HQ where anyone can find him if they need him. But lets say for the sake of it that he has some free time and he takes it. He’d probably either want to play his accordion, or want to read a book.
I feel like there’s a lot of different things Kwazii likes to do in his spare time, but goofing around in the Gup-B is probably his favorite.
Peso probably likes to do puzzles and play his xylophone.
Dashi probably reads books while listening to music. How she does both of these things at the same time I have no idea.
Tweak probably plays video games.
Professor Inkling and Shellington both probably read books in their free time.
I’m not too sure what the Vegimals would do in their free time though..
Oh yes, indeed it does.
Before becoming the Captain of the Octonauts, Barnacles had to ask himself, “Am I really ready to be their leader?” Can he handle managing a team of that size? Can he react to situations fast enough and make the right choices? He thought it through and believed that yes. He was ready.
But he wasn’t. He wasn't prepared for that gut wrenching anxiety when one crew member goes missing. He wasn't prepared for the crippling heat that most everywhere else has compared to his home. He wasn't prepared to become so attached to his crew that the thought of something happening to them keeps him awake for nights in a row. He wasn’t prepared for that overwhelming nausea of missing home and his sister.
There was a lot he didn’t know. They’d all turn to him when something went wrong and ask if everything's going to be okay. He’d say “don’t worry, its all going to be okay.” but he’s just as unsure as everyone else.
Now don't get me wrong, he’s not this completely hopeless and unexperienced Captain that bit off more than he could chew, no. There’s just somethings he didn’t think about before becoming Captain of the Octonauts.
Now usually he can really keep himself composed almost always. He’s very level headed and very good at thinking his way through things, But sometimes? He just.. needs a break. He usually cant get a break because he’s the Captain and always needs to be alert, so everyone else that sees it usually tries to help.
Some crew members, like the Vegimals and Kwazii, have a habit of following the Captain around when they see that he’s tired to keep an eye on him. Others like Shellington and Dashi tend to give him space and keep things quiet for him. Some crew members, like Peso and Tweak tend to clean up around the place to take some weight off the Captains shoulders, they all help him out in some way.
Professor Inkling will sometimes find an excuse to pull him aside to have some tea with him. They’ll sit and talk for a bit but then he’s back up on his feet and back to work. This poor bear..
..hold on.. was this a drawing suggestion?
Dashi and Tweak would probably hang out in Dashi’s room and goof around. Not sure what they’d do.. maybe read, talk, play games or.. idk pillow fights? I don’t know what girls do on a girls night.
As for everyone else? I also am not sure, I don’t know what all those characters with all their clashing personalities would do on a boys night. Maybe they would all watch a movie? All attempt bake something obnoxious together? They seem like the kind of characters that would do that.
I’ve never been to a girls night or a guys night, so I don't really have much of a base to go off of.. but both groups would probably get together and do something they’d all enjoy. Guys maybe a funny movie, and the girls just talking and reading books? <:D
For real that’d be hilarious. Imagine if their voices were deep and gruff too but they just make them sound high pitched for fun?
Dude that’d be so funny. Like Kwazii’s up to his shenanigans again blabbering on about some sea monster or what have you, and Tunip out of nowhere just goes,
“Kwazii legit stop, we all know that you’re just talking about some ordinary sea creature that pirates interpreted as a sea monster.“
The whole crew gon be like
If this game existed in their world and they all played it.....
Captain Barnacles would make it through a pacifist run and would be satisfied. He’s some kind of weirdo who doesn’t think of characters as real people and doesn’t obsess over them and cry about them. Overall he thinks the game is pretty neat, but probably not his type of game.
Kwazii would want to test his skills by attempting a genocide, but his heart of gold would get in the way and he wouldn’t be able to complete it. He’d feel terrible for killing goat mom, reset and go hard pacifist next round. Overall he thinks the game is awesome.
Peso would want to talk to every character so they’d all be included in the story. He’d go full pacifist and cry over the story and its characters. Overall 10/10 for him.
Dashi would probably cry over the game a lot and would never attempt a genocide run because the characters are now her family.
Shellington would hate the fighting parts so would delay those bits by walking around and talking to characters over and over again.
Tweak would go through a neutral run because she sometimes accidently kills weaker monsters. Overall she loves the story and its characters, 10/10 would play again.
Professor Inkling would become invested in the story I bet. Complimenting the story arcs for the characters and its creative game play. But I feel like he’d only play it once and probably wouldn’t beat it, but would have fun with it none the less.
Thank you!!!♡♡♡ Man, I never expected such a positive response to switching to Octonauts, I cant believe everyone is so excited about it! I’m so glad you like my Octonauts art, that really makes me feel better and like what I’m drawing is worth while. ɷ◡ɷ
Aww I’m glad! And oh yeah, the animals at the end were always scary. Remember the Boo the spookfish?
Boo was a cute little googly eyed fishy boi who was just so sweet and somft until the creATURE REPORT AND I-
THAT’S MY QUE TO YEET THE COMPUTER
Dawww thank you!! I tried. <:}
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Just a quick blurb about some of the stuff I’ve been feeling and struggling with lately about my slowly ending toxic relationship and other stuff..
So far the worst part for me has been convincing my childhood abandonment trauma brain that it’s OKAY to let this person go... that because of many valid actual damn reasons I witnessed they were not a great person for me to spend time with or put energy into. They didn’t listen to me when I was speaking, did things for me only out of guilt, refused to introduce me to any of their friends or family, continually minimized my feelings, and lied to me constantly about their intentions for the relationship.
I think one of the more nefarious things about the relationship was that another person was involved that I didn’t know about at the beginning, an ex that they were still super close with. I was trying so hard to be understanding, so scared that I was just being jealous or overbearing when I felt the fear grip me inside after discovering their relationship. At one point this person even moved into their house, and I wasn’t allowed to come over anymore because ‘they’d get jealous’. I believed badly tailored lies to keep me around because I was too scared to let them go, especially during the full-swing of the pandemic when I had no one else to be close to. I really valued this person. I really wanted to believe that relationships are just complicated and messy and it wasn’t them still being in love with this other person, prioritizing them over me, but every instinct inside of me was screaming and every friend I talked to about it looked at me like I was crazy for trying not to be upset or suspicious. I ignored my intuition, figuring that I was just overreacting. Even now that we’ve broken up and are slowly drifting apart this other person is still a big part of their life, while their interactions with me are dwindling to nothing (a good thing obviously, but still painful for that inner child). I should be happy, but part of me is insanely envious of this connection they have, even a little furious. It triggers a very primal wound from my earliest years.
When I was growing up (4-11yrs) my I worshiped my Dad but he always had a lot of girlfriends, when I spent time with him in the summers I often had to ‘compete’ with these full grown women for his attention because he prioritized his relationships with them over his relationship with me. It was heart breaking, and gave me a very unhealthy idea of what was expected of XX bodied people to attract and keep attention. It also gave me a very DEEP and abiding wound centered around jealousy and envy which is haunting me the most right now with my current healing process. Old, untouched parts of me are churning beneath the surface of my consciousness, altering my ability to regulate my emotions and think logically about how much better off I am not having this crap in my life. I am SO PISSED OFF that this other person was -chosen- over me. And even though I never met them, I always hear this ancient voice inside my head wondering.. what do they have that I don’t? Why wasn’t I good enough?
It’s not that I want this destructive thing in my life, logically I know I should be singing and fucking dancing, howling at the damn moon because I escaped this invalidating cycle of bread crumbing, lying, gaslighting and back burnering. I know I deserve better. I want so badly to have better. But there is so much pain inside of me from these deep old traumas, and I have a lot of really old scars that need to be re-examined and addressed. In some ways I am grateful for this horrible experience because of everything I’ve learned about my anxious attachment, childhood trauma, complex PTSD and how it relates to my inability to have normal, healthy relationships.
But I’m also pretty mad about the last two years of my life being an emotionally damaging experience, in the midst of a pandemic, shortly after the sudden and depressingly tragic death of my alcoholic, narcissistic father.
I’ve changed. I don’t even remember what it was like to be me before 2018. I don’t draw anymore. I don’t post anymore. Commissions are a struggle. I miss the days of endless artwork and music and fandoms.. cruising tumblr and getting occasionally yelled at for making semi problematic statements because of my own personal growth. I often find myself wondering about the artists I used to follow who also disappeared. Where have they gone? Are their lives getting better? Worse? Are they still with us? I miss them the way I miss the old version of myself.
The years have not been cruel, but they have not been kind either. This latest battle has been an eyeopening experience. At almost 35 years I am just now learning I’ve been operating from these cornerstone hangups as if it were normal, like they were something that would get better or change over time if I ‘found the right person’. But now I know I never will find the right person, not until I find myself, because I will always push away the people who love me and self sabotage anything good. It’s too uncomfortable, too unfamiliar. I wanted to get married one day, start a family and build a future for my loved ones, but right now it feels like I’m still clawing my way up to ground zero.
From everything I have seen about attachment disorders, there is definitely hope, but I will need a lot of counseling. I have to change my relationship with myself before I can stop seeking out this same bullshit situation I’ve once again found myself breaking free from. As of now, I’m finally understanding why I keep finding myself here.
To anyone else also dealing with childhood PTSD and attachment problems... this wound can be healed. It takes time and understanding and a lot of hard personal work but it can be done. Don’t give up on yourself, don’t give up on love. Get help. Learn stuff. Stay the course. Short term pleasure is not worth the long term pain. Sit on your throne, let people approach, maintain boundaries. Give those people time to show you how they are going to behave towards you, how they are going to treat you. I know it’s hard but it’s worth it. Avoid jumping into physical intimacy quickly, it’s especially toxic when you have attachment disorders. Don’t let people walk all over you, NO ONE is cool enough, accomplished enough or attractive enough to be allowed to get away with treating you like shit. Not ever. And if someone shows up who genuinely likes you, DO NOT search for reasons to prove them wrong.. I know it feels creepy or scary to be loved but they don’t want anything from you other than your heart, and that’s a good thing. Embrace it.
If you’re still here, thanks for reading.
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Fair Game.
T-800 x reader (Terminator: Judgement Day version)
Warnings: sexual themes mentioned, gun use
Context: The T-800 wants to learn to be more human.
A/N: I absolutely love the terminator films, so I will try and write more for them, even though it's not very popular amongst you guys 😅 this is just some idea I've had rattling around in my head, so enjoy!
P.S. To the people who have requested things, I have not forgotten or ignored you! I'm just in the process of writing them out, so I should have one out by tomorrow.💛
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The temperature has slowly gotten cooler over the last few hours or so, the sky beginning to darken a little until the last light comes from the rays of sun just cresting over the horizon, casting the landscape in an orange tint. Annoyingly, it also means I can't see what I'm doing, the shape of each separate part of the assault rifle in my hands nearly indistinguishable as they start blurring into each other. A sigh of irritation leaves me as I put them down again, stretching my back as I stand up from the picnic bench again, shaking the stiffness from my joints, my body cramping from sitting in the same position for hours. My hands ache, too, my palms and fingers coated in a layer of gun oil, a result of the rigourous cleaning I've put the weapons through, something which wasn't necessarily required, but I felt like doing anyway, to take my mind off the more gruesome details of the past day or so, still trying to process what exactly is happening.
Just yesterday, John and I were messing around in the arcade, using his hacking skills to our advantage as he stole some money, the two of us having a great time with his friend, who we had to leave behind, for his own safety. A cop went around asking others about John, making the mistake of questioning our friend, who then let us know of the possible danger of being caught, prompting us to run, trying to escape another warning from the feds. From that point onwards, everything went pear shaped: another man appeared from nowhere and shot the cop, who had pulled a gun on us, saving us from certain death as he then gave us time to escape, letting us both get back to our motorcycles, which we promptly used to get away, speeding as quickly as possible down into the aquaducts, where we know our way round pretty well. Leading the cop on a long chase, we soon became very knowledgeable of the fact that our bikes are nowhere near as fast as the truck the cop was chasing us in, meaning we very nearly got hit by it. Long story short, the man from before saved the two of us, before explaining to us what exactly is happening.
Having been in John's close friend circle for most of our time together, the information I learnt was not too surprising; a cyborg (the cop) has been sent back in time from the future to kill him, so he can't lead the resistance against a future mechanized army, a T-1000 made of liquid metal, though another cyborg, a T-800 this time, has been sent back to save him. Having established this, we quickly found that our foster parents had been murdered by the T-1000, leaving the two of us mostly parentless, though John still has his mother, who we broke out of a mental institute last night. And now here we are, somewhere in the middle of nowhere, sheltering with a friend of her's called Enrique.
The sound of steady footsteps draws me from my reverie, my head snapping round as I notice the T-800 walking towards me, it's expressionless face mostly in shadow now because of the setting sun. Turning to face him, I pick up the gun components once more and start methodically putting them back together again, trying to ignore him as he comes up to me, annoyed that my mind has formed an attachment to the handsome cyborg already within two days of knowing him.
"You have experience in the use of firearms." It's not a question, but rather a statement, the cyborg's deep, accented voice resonating in my ears.
"My parents, my real parents that is, were fugitives. They showed me how to use weapons from as young as I could hold them. They thought I needed to be ready to protect myself." I laugh dryly, "I never thought they'd actually be right about something."
"This will be useful in the war." He states tonelessly, watching as I slot the magazine back into the stock, loading it ready for immediate use.
"If I make it that far." I murmur, putting the assembled gun back down on the table, turning my body to properly face him, "Did you need something?"
"No. I am trying to learn "small talk". John Connor has told me to be more human, and that is what he recommends." He reveals, standing beside me, his body towering over mine.
"Oh, right, well that's fair game, I guess." I smile, knowing that the bond between my foster brother and the cyborg has grown quickly, which is unsurprising given the willingness to learn on both of their behalf.
"What is "fair game"?" The T-800 looks over at me, brow furrowed slightly.
Stuck for words, I try to figure out how to explain it, only to be distracted by the sight of two of the younger members of the group already living here making out a little way away. Clenching my jaw, I look down at my feet, a pang of jealousy making itself known.
"Its a figure of speech. I use it to clarify whether I think something is a relatively good idea or not." I finally answer him, unable to resist another look at the couple, which he catches and follows.
"Why do you kiss?" He inquires again, watching unashamedly as the couple make out passionately.
"You mean people? People kiss when they are romantically involved with each other, or if they want to reassure each other. It's a sign of love. Not that I'd know." I say the last part quietly, hoping he won't hear it, "Get it?"
"No."
I smile sadly at this, not really expecting him to understand it, given that it is an extension of human affection, something which he does not really know how to do.
"Maybe one day." I say to him wistfully, leaning back against the table behind me.
"Affirmative. I will understand when I have a concept of human behaviour." He states, turning back to face me, standing much closer than before, "What is wrong?"
I look up as he asks this, having been staring at the floor dejectedly, trying to think up whether there will be a "one day" or not. I've always been a pessimist, but situations like this do not help.
"Oh, nothing. I'm just a little...down, I guess." I explain to him, sighing.
He frowns, clearly confused by the terminology.
"Down meaning sad in this context." I inform the T-800, clarifying what I mean.
A look of understanding dawns on his face, before a look of deep concentration replaces it. Suddenly, he steps forwards, caging me into the table, his hands coming to rest on my hips, pulling me into his hard body. Instinctually, my hands move to lay themselves on his chest, feeling the firm muscle beneath them move as he picks me up and places me onto the table behind me, pressing closer. Before I can say a word, I feel his lips smooth themselves against mine, their cool, dry surfaces moulding with mine as I reciprocate out of instinct, enjoying the feeling of him kissing me as he wraps his hands around my body. Somehow, he manages to draw my mouth open, slipping his tongue into it to lick at the interior of my mouth, swallowing my moans and grunts of air, his hands slipping under my shirt and onto my bare skin. Arching into him, I card my fingers through his hair, pulling gently as he presses even closer, his abnormal strength pushing me down onto the table beneath me, his muscular arms caging me in underneath his huge body. Propping myself up on my elbows, I try to keep up with him, only to fall back as he pulls away and starts kissing down my neck, easily finding my sweet spot. Licking and sucking at it, he allows his hands to roam over my body to my ass, gripping it gently as he holds me close to his chest.
"What in the hell are you doing?!" John's voice suddenly cuts through the haze of pleasure, drawing my attention away from the T-800, who stops what he is doing to look at the boy, helping me upright again as he answers.
"I am reassuring (Y/n). She told me that kissing is a form of reassurance to people." He recites, looking over at me again, his eyes slightly less dead than normal.
"Generally those kisses don't look like that." John points out, looking slightly disgusted as I try to adjust myself again, embarrassed and flustered as hell.
"What do they look like, then? My files show that that is normal."
"Normal for people who are in love! For other people, it tends to be a quick kiss on the forehead, or cheek!" The boy continues to argue.
"If it makes you feel any better, John, then I feel a lot more relaxed now. It worked really well." I interject, shyly, looking down with my cheeks flushing red.
"Then it is a successful method." The T-800 says, clearly confused.
John goes to reply again, only to be cut off by the sound of a car door slamming. Turning, we see Sarah suddenly climb into the corresponding car, the engine starting as she puts it into drive, not looking back as she leaves the camp, John racing after her, screaming for her.
"Don't try kissing him to reassure him. I don't think it will work for him." I inform the cyborg beside me, smiling up at him as he gives me his own version of one, though it looks much more like a grimace than a smile.
"That is fair game."
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Street Dance of China, Season 4, Episode 12, Part 2
- HB played a game where they were testing how well they knew each other. Also the entire look of this (the location, the clothes) gives me boyband vibes lol.
- They are both really good at drawing?!
- Cat alert
- They said they grew close because they were both really into Dragonball
- HB’s performance had two parts. One part was I think supposed to be a throwback to one of their older performances, which just includes a drum beat. The second part was danced to a more pop-ish song. I will say, I didn’t have high expectations for HB. I expected them to just do a typical locking performance, and the fact that they even stepped a little outside of their box already made me like this performance more than I probably would have. At first, I was wondering whether the entire performance would just be to the drum beat, in which case, I would have been disappointed because that’s just...kind of lazy. And yeah, like I said, the fact that they’re dancing to a different style of music is already a surprise for me lol (because from what I’ve seen from the lockers on this show, they are often set in their ways). Though their dance moves themselves were still very typical locking movies, at least they committed to the feel of the music, and moved away from that funk feel and towards this more pop feel.
- Gogo Brothers were bumped off by Hilty & Bosch
- Room tour XD
- He was video calling his mom. He speaks to her in French! Anyway, he was you got me into dancing, and Mom was like “no, you did everything because you love dance!” etc. And she told him she was proud of him :3
- I thought this was a fun performance. I loved the futuristic vibes, but it’s like a 2000s interpretation of the future which is what makes it so fun.
- Han Geng said he wanted to take popping lessons with Poppin’C and he was like but please just don’t charge too much X3
- Sigh, Yixing’s team is catching no breaks today. Qiao Zhi had the lowest score so we are about to see who gets booted.
- The host asked Yixing if he had anything to say since one of Poppin’C or Qiao Zhi were going to get eliminated, and also because Huang Xiao was going up next. And Yixing was like “honestly it’s not that serious I’m really just treating this like a game it’s chill.” This nerd ended by being like “there is no elimination in real life, you just change your stage.”
- Huang Bo was like “Yixing is all grown up!”
- Poppin’C was eliminated :(
- So over the past few weeks I’ve come to learn that Huang Xiao is a little dramatic but like, it’s cute. Here he is screaming because he’s finally going to watch a performance with the music.
- Here he is getting some physiotherapy. His physiotherapist said that he does have a very serious injury in his shoulder :(
- Does he have an interest in music?
- Huang Xiao’s performance was very aesthetically pleasing, which sounds generic, but basically I was very comfortable while watching the entire performance. I think the thing about Huang Xiao being a choreographer is that he has a lot of experience choreographing stuff, so this performance of his doesn’t necessarily need to be a personal one, which is nice. Most of the other performances here are personal statements, but this one was probably comfortable because there wasn’t that personal attachment. I can just view this as a piece of entertainment, rather than trying to discern what this says about Huang Xiao as a person. Huang Xiao said that he just really liked this song, so I think this performance was more about his interpretation of this song, rather than him finding a piece of music to suit a personal statement.
- There were 20 background dancers, who were all from Hello Dance, which is the dance crew that danced with Yixing in his Feitian dance practice video :3 Anyway, I really like the face decorations the ladies have!! (Reminds me of X-Baekhyun’s face chain lol)
- Sigh, as we know, Qiao Zhi was the dancer with the lowest score before
- Okay what the heck? Huang Xiao only got 87 points?? Ok, I know why this performance wasn’t popular, but I don’t think it’s fair :/ Like I said before, this performance wasn’t a personal statement, but just a project, so I think that’s why it wasn’t as popular. In addition, Huang Xiao’s strength is in choreography and not necessarily as a performer, so that may be why people weren’t impressed with him specifically. The spotlight on him wasn’t as strong, so maybe he didn’t leave as strong of an impression. But as a performance, I thought it was great! It had some choreography that was A LOT more creative than some of the other performances we’ve seen so far. Dammit. #justiceforhuangxiao
- You cutie, you deserved better v.v Of course, he was very positive about everything v.v Sigh. Baby.
- Yixing said that Huang Xiao was his choreographer for Feitian X3 So he was like “this is a choreographer I really love.” And as usual, he was like “this is just a game” XD Yixing also calls Huang Xiao “Xiao,” which is interesting.
- Also what a tiny
- Chunlin got a visit from Mom
- Awkward encouraging video from aunts and uncles lol
- Chunlin’s mom visited him while at the studio and all of the other dancers were like “Hello, Auntie~~~” She bought apples for them, it was cute haha.
- Like Huang Xiao’s performance, I thought Li Chunlin’s performance was pretty aesthetically pleasing too, though in a different way. To start things off, there was a very loose TV theme, about Chunlin getting sucked into the TV and joining the TV people in dancing. After he got sucked into the TV, like Huang Xiao’s performance, I felt that his performance was more of an interpretation of the song. What’s also different is that I felt that the performance was more “popular” dance than street dance, so I don’t know how that will fare with the audience voters. In any case, I liked it. The choreography was very fun to watch, and Chunlin got a good part of the spotlight.
- Demonstrating hip rolls to the crowd
- The white shirt he was wearing was Yixing’s gift earlier in the show. Chunlin also said that he was using a skincare product that Henry had gifted him.
- Chunlin was eliminated. He had only four fewer votes than Qiao Zhi.
- Why is Jackson dressed like that OTL
- Ooh, the banners for all of the captains on this show ever. I’m surprised they kept Show Luo’s considering he’s sort of cancelled lol. But also......Zitao’s banner....and Yixing’s banner.....in the same frame (can you tell I’m craving LayTao?).
- Our 8 finalists (technically 9, but HB count as one participant)
- You know, it just occurred to me that Jackson and Henry are in the same show. Can we get some shenanigans from them? We shall see.
- Jackson performed one of his songs
- Followed by a dance performance
- Big hug for the dancers
- Lmao Jackson was breathing so hard his voice broke during his interview. He said he hadn’t been dancing for a while and he’d only prepared this performance for two days, so he was super sore.
- Then we got a performance from Fu Longfei. I didn’t know him, so I looked him up. Apparently he was a Chinese member of a Chinese special unit of the kpop group Nu-est.
- The battle followed a tournament format, though the matchups do get reassigned each round. First matchups were Qiao Zhi vs. Bouboo, Ye Yin vs. Yuu-san of HB, San’er vs. Acky-san, and Yang Kai vs. Ibuki.
- Part way through the first battle, between Qiao Zhi and Bouboo, there were some technical difficulties :x
- There were six rounds for each matchup, and I think because there were so many rounds, they kind of blended together. Also don’t know if it’s just me, but I think because there were so many rounds, each round was shorter, so the amount of time each dancer had to do their part was shorter, so I think that’s why nothing really stood out to me. (Well, that, and the fact that I do prefer routine dances to battle dances if I’m being honest).
- Some Yixing being cute in ads again, to soothe the salt in my soul
- I’m going to be real honest with you. Because I was salty about the performances, I’ve been mostly checked out for the battles and haven’t been paying enough attention to have opinions about them. I’ve just been watching them passively. I was just too affected by some of the performance scoring.
- Anyway, the winner of SDC season 4 was Ye Yin, who was also the winner of season 2.
- I’m so sorry that this episode ended on such a low note. I was just kind of disappointed with a lot of the results in the performances and it made me lose enthusiasm with the battles because the results didn’t make sense to me.
- That being said, the first eleven episodes of this show were still spectacular and extremely fun. I got a lot of joy out of them.
- Would I watch the next season of this show? I’d probably only watch if Yixing was a captain again. I couldn’t tell you why, it’s just what my gut feeling tells me lol.
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folklore - isaac lahey {7/?}
Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait I’ve been ridiculously busy the past few weeks 😓BUT!!! As compensation I made this part super long and fluffy with sooooooo much Isaac/reader content (enjoy it while you can because shits gonna be messy from here on out 🤭🙈)
Having said that, I don’t have my laptop right now as I moved houses and my stuff got put into storage so I’m working with the mobile version 😓 sorry in advance if formatting is weird I tried to make it better 😓 also there’s no continue reading button so sorry if this comes up on your dash 😭
Let me know what you think tho I’d really appreciate it 💕
Word count: 5.5k 🙈
Warnings: Fluff 😳, mentions of blood, Derek being a PAIN IN THE ASS, Isaac being the cutest 😌✨, ✨kissing✨, swearing
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Tag list (open as always): @makeusfreefromthisfandom om, @cece-lives-here here, @chocolate-raspberries , @belsandthings , @dancing-tacos-23 , @truly-dionysus , @britty443 , @tanyaherondale , @furiouspockettoad , @yunsh-17 17, @random-thoughts-003 , @gloomybrieyxb , @futuristicslimemongerbanana , @linkpk88 , @big-galaxy-chaos , @im-a-stranger-thing , @riaisnotcool (I think u had a username change but idk let me know and I can fix it), @its-evita-here , @pad-foots , @sweetpeabellamyblakedracomalfoy , @bookswillfindyouaway , @what-the-hap-is-fuckening , @awkwardnesshabitat , @pieces-by-me me, @wreny24 , @kerosene-angel (if this is the wrong username I’m sorry it wasn’t working the way I had written it down so I’m assuming I just took it down wrong 😳 it it’s not you let me know and I’ll remove you), @marveloucnco o, @babypink224221 let me know if you’d like to be added <3 (strike through means tumblr wouldn’t let me tag you)
The days you’d spent in Mystic Falls bled into weeks and soon enough you were being beckoned back to Beacon Hills with a head full of things you hadn’t had a clue about two weeks prior.
There, of course, was the matter of Peter- who was now dead, well technically, he was murdered.
Derek’s first course of action as Beacon Hills’ new alpha was to break the news to you. He’d killed him but due to Scott and Stiles’ constant text updates, you knew it would’ve had to be done sooner or later. But still, you had a feeling that this wouldn’t be the last of him. That small intuitive feeling in the back of your mind told you that you’d see him again soon. You just hoped your next meeting wouldn’t be happening because you ended up buried next to him.
Over the course of your stay with Alaric, who had left you in the care of the Salvatore brothers- Stefan and Damon, you’d honed several new vampiric powers. As it turned out, some of the powers you possessed were completely unfamiliar to the vampires of over a hundred years.
You had super speed, it wasn’t just enhanced as you’d previously thought. As well as that, you’d discovered that you could run circles around both Stefan and Damon Salvatore, who were obviously a lot older and therefore should’ve been a lot faster.
And for that matter, they should’ve been stronger than you, they should’ve been able to snap you like a twig. They should’ve been able to. But they weren’t. Because not only were you faster, you were stronger too.
While having super speed and super strength was nice, mind compulsion, your most recent discovery, now that was incredible. All you had to do was look into someone’s eyes and they would become completely entranced to do whatever you told them.
Despite being over a hundred years old, neither Stefan nor Damon had ever seen a vampire quite like you.
They’d never seen a vampire who was also an empath, that, apparently, was usually more of a witch thing. Neither of them had ever come across a vampire bite which had a euphoric effect either. But having said all of that… they’d never heard of someone being turned from a wolf bite. Or a vampire who still had a beating heart, for that matter.
Your only real downfalls were that, for one, your blood’s healing capacity didn’t operate at the same speed for you as it did when being used to heal others. You’d put this down to the possibility that maybe your system had just grown too used to it. To be perfectly honest, though, you had no idea.
Secondly, your empathic tendencies were beginning to bring you down, but it wasn’t just that… it was the way in which you’d been instructed, by Damon Salvatore himself, on how to make them stop.
The plane ride home to California dragged on longer than you would’ve liked, the flight was delayed and you were absolutely starving by the time Derek picked you up from the airport. Your parents were still away, they’d travelled to Romania in search of answers to your predicament and they wouldn’t be home until at least next week, so that left Derek on chauffeur and babysitting duty.
“How are you?” He’d only spoken up thirty minutes into the car ride, you let out a sigh from the passenger seat and gave him a tired smile, you could feel the nerves radiating from him. He was afraid you’d be mad at him for killing Peter, and maybe you should’ve been, but again, you had a feeling he’d be back, and besides, spending time with Damon had helped you realise that everything wasn’t so black and white. It finally registered with you that people like Derek and Damon, the dark mysterious bad boys with secret hearts of gold- they sometimes did bad things but with good intentions.
Once you discovered this, you decided amongst yourself that you’d ease up on your not-really-big-brother in the future. Even if it meant you got hurt a little in the process. If hurting you was what he needed to do to learn his lesson then you’d be willing to make that sacrifice.
So you gave him a soft smile and answered, “Hungry.”
Derek let out a chuckle at that, nodding his head towards the backseat, drawing your attention to the three full blood bags laying on the leather seats.
A delighted gasp left your mouth as you snatched the plastic bags into your hands, wasting no time you stuck the attached tube into your mouth and began gulping the first bag down- it was definitely Stiles’ blood you were drinking, you’d gotten so used to the taste of it you were sure you could recognise it anywhere.
Letting out a happy groan you threw your head back against the headrest, “Stiles Stilinski you are a doll.”
Derek chuckled again, glancing at you fondly before his steely eyes returned to the road ahead.
It was only another 30 minutes before you were back in your driveway. “So are you staying here until my parents get back?” You questioned from the porch as Derek got your bags from the trunk of his car, the wolf shook his head with a smile, “Nah, I’ve got some stuff to do at home.”
“Derek, that home isn’t even structurally sound.” You chastised softly. Surely he’d be happier spending time with the family he still had breathing rather than living in the remnants of what used to be his.
Walking up to the porch, Derek placed your case down gently by your feet and moved himself to stand in front of you. A genuine smile painted his lips as he gazed at you, “New rule.” He stated, placing both of his hands on either of your forearms before going on, eyes staring affectionately into your own, “From now on, I will be doing all the worrying about you, alright? Not the other way around.”
With a defeated sigh, you nodded your head. “I’ll try my best.” That had been a lie. Unable to blind you with his unusually sweet sentiment, through the physical contact you could tell he was scheming.
“Good. Now, go get some rest I’ll come check up on you in the morning.” He kissed your forehead and then made his way back to his car, speeding out of your driveway and out of sight before you’d even unlocked the door.
The house was cold and empty when you’d re-entered. A shiver ran up your spine the second your feet stepped past the threshold. Something was very wrong, and unfortunately, you couldn’t tell what exactly it was that was so wrong. The feeling was unnerving, it was dark and it was agonisingly heavy. Like anxiety on steroids, lots of steroids.
Swallowing thickly, you gripped -more like clawed- at your chest. Nails scraping your skin as you attempted to catch a single breath, though it seemed that oxygen was determined to outrun you as you glanced around helplessly.
Almost twenty minutes has passed as you heaved and gasped frantically, overwhelming dread flooded your chest while simultaneously tears flooded your eyes, and still you didn’t have even the slightest idea of what it all meant.
And then it hit you. That panic- it didn’t belong to you.
Within a second you’d risen to your feet, breathing still staggered while you rushed out the front door, your vampire speed being put to good use as within seconds you were where your panic had led you. Night had fallen by now and it was completely dark, not to mention absolutely freezing, the hoodie you had on doing nothing to protect you from the biting cold in the air. The trail of feelings you’d been chasing had led you to Beacon Hills cemetery and before your eyes, there it was, the something that was very wrong.
Derek and Isaac. More specifically, Derek’s teeth buried in Isaac’s arm. You hadn’t even registered what you were doing when you ripped Derek from Isaac and violently threw him across the cemetery, the impact in which the Hale hit the tree all the way at the edge of the graveyard was a testimony to your strength. You hadn’t even used half it.
Without hesitation, you inspected Isaac’s body frantically, eyes lingering on the bloody bite across his right arm. Slowly and mournfully, your eyes met his, which were wide with shock. His heart was beating out of his chest to the point where you couldn’t ignore it.
“What did he do to you?” The question slipped out as a whisper, your anger melted away only to be replaced by dread as Isaac began to speak, “He offered me the bite and I- I said yes.”
“Isaac…” Your gaze drifted to the bite and you weren’t surprised to see it already healed. “I’m sorry.” You heard him mutter from above you, his anxiety pooling in your chest and mixing with his guilt.
Shaking your head softly you pulled him into you, your arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders while his own arms held you tightly against him as you kissed his temple to release him of the intense anxiety plaguing him. “Don’t be sorry. I understand.”
He relaxed against you upon hearing your words, the two weeks you’d been gone made him realise something, he was utterly useless without you, or so he thought. He felt weak. He felt as though if he didn’t have you as emotional support he was defective. Derek had honed in on that and manipulated it to his advantage, convinced Isaac that the bite was what he needed in order to be strong by himself. To keep you safe instead of you protecting him all of the time.
“Was that really necessary?” Derek’s voice broke the moment and you found anger was surging through you once again. You separated from Isaac to face Derek.
At this point, you didn’t care what his intentions had been, you weren’t going to let him away with this.
“I’m going to give you three seconds to explain why you did this.” As Derek moved to speak you ruthlessly cut him off. “Too slow.” And with that the back of your hand met his cheek, again sending him flying, only not as far this time.
His fangs were barred now, as were yours. Both of your eyes glowing, his red ones threatening as he attempted to demonstrate his power. And yet again, you had a revelation.
You couldn’t stop the laugh that fell from your lips, a synacal and sarcastic lilt to it as you towered over Derek’s form on the floor.
“Oh I get it!” You exclaimed, lip held between your teeth in mock disbelief you pressed your palm to your forehead as you spoke, “You thought you’d go around and stalk some kids so you could add to your big bad pack. Right?” He growled at you and attempted to pick himself up, only for you to give a swift, hard kick to his chest, returning his back to the dirt.
“I guess you told him it’d make him stronger? That it’d make all of his problems go away? And what about the Argent’s, huh? Did you tell him that you were manipulating him?” It was then, again in panic, Isaac spoke up to your surprise, in Derek’s defence.
“(Y/n), I promise it isn’t like that! He told me everything, it was my choice I said yes!” You spared him a glance before crouching down to Derek.
“Well did you tell him how you usually treat your pack?” The words were dripping in venom and the guilt that radiated from the man didn’t deter you from moving forward with you verbal attack, your head turning to Isaac, your eyes sparkling with sadness as you locked eyes with him, speaking hoarsely you wondered out loud, “Did he tell you that he’s a liar? That he doesn’t know how to run a pack? That if he doesn’t understand you he’ll leave you in the dust?”
The look on his face spoke volumes as he recalled the state Derek had put you in the weeks previous.
With a final sneer in Derek’s direction you delivered your parting words, “You better treat him better than you continue to treat me or so help me Derek Hale I will tear you to shreds.”
As you angrily stormed away, Isaac stood in confusion for a second before he began to chase after you, leaving Derek on the dirt floor to help himself.
“(Y/n)! (Y/n) please wait!” He shouted as he was just starting to catch up to you. When you felt that you were at a good enough distance away from Derek you finally slowed your pace.
When Isaac finally made it to your side, he was panting slightly, swallowing the lump in his throat he nervously grabbed your hand.
“I’m sorry.” He repeated, his eyes resembling those of a puppy and you could already feel your composure slipping away from you as you looked at him.
It’d been almost three weeks since you’d seen him, three weeks since you’d made out in the school basement and this definitely wasn’t how you were expecting the reunion to go.
“Isaac it isn’t your fault. I’m not mad at you, ok? I get it. I’m just worried, this town isn’t exactly kind on the supernatural.” You reassured him gently, squeezing his hand and giving him a sad smile.
“Don’t worry about me.” Isaac told you and you had to laugh, “Sorry, babe but I will not be taking my eyes off you until this town becomes normal.”
Isaac’s face was then taken over by, what could only be described as, a Cheshire Cat smile, “Did you just call me babe?” His voice was teasing and you felt your face heating up despite your freezing temperature.
Sucking on the inside of your cheek you tried your best to conceal your growing smile, you shrugged innocently, “Yeah. What about it?” The playful lilt in your voice had his smile widening even more as he began to lean down to you, his face getting closer to yours by the second.
His breath fanned across your lips when he spoke next, “I liked it.” With that, his lips pressed to yours cautiously, as if he was still unsure of whether or not it was okay to do so.
His uncertainty melted away when he felt your lips begin to reciprocate his actions and your hands moved to cup his cheeks.
The both of you could agree that this kiss was different than the last one you’d shared a few weeks ago. “Why is it that we only ever kiss when one of us is coming out as a supernatural creature?” Isaac laughed against your lips as you pulled away with a sigh.
“It would be us wouldn’t it.”
After a few minutes of nagging at Isaac you managed to put all the pieces of Derek’s plan together. Isaac himself didn’t actually know all that much, just that he was the first to be turned, but that alone told you everything that you needed to know.
Derek was now an alpha with no pack, so logically, a pack was what he was building and that would have been perfectly understandable- if he hadn’t started with your best friend.
“There’s a full moon coming up, did he tell you what would happen?” You questioned gently, ready to throttle Derek when the boy in front of you shook his head.
Heaving a deep breath you squeezed his hand reassuringly, the initial excitement of being turned had worn off and Isaac was beginning to radiate anxiety once again.
“Don’t worry okay? I’m gonna call Scott, he’ll be able to help you.” Isaac’s eyebrows came together in confusion, “Scott McCall?”
You nodded your head, “He’ll know how to help.” You tried to convince Isaac without spilling Scott’s secret. Not that it was going to stay a secret for too long, but it wasn’t your secret to tell.
Isaac shook his head rapidly, his hands moving to hold your forearms, his panic at your suggestion hitting you like a freight train as he stared into your eyes, a wild look in his own.
“No no no no. You can’t tell anyone. (Y/n) promise me you won’t tell anyone okay? If my dad finds out I’m a werewolf he’ll-“ The words came out almost as fast as you could run and his panic only intensified when his father entered his mind.
Quickly catching on to his looming panic attack as his eyes began to glow yellow you cut him off, “Isaac.”
He didn’t hear you as he kept rambling, claws growing past his nails and digging into your arm, “No he’ll kill me. Oh my god he’s gonna kill me. (Y/n) he’s go-“
Yes, it would’ve been easy to rip your arms from his grasp that was causing you quite a lot of pain as his nails sunk into your skin as his hands held onto you desperately. However, you had a feeling that his hold on your now bloody forearms was the only thing keeping him from spiralling completely out of control.
“Isaac! Look at me!” Your voice was strict but served to make his amber eyes finally settle on yours.
Gently, you finally slipped your arms out of Isaac’s clawed grip, although you were sure it would’ve been less painful to just leave them, his claws dragged down your arms while you lifted them slowly and cautiously until you replaced them with your hands, using your new grasp of the boy to provide him with some peace of mind.
You focused your energy on shifting a sense of relaxation from your own palms to Isaac’s sweaty ones as you spoke, voice soft again, “I’m not going to tell anyone. It’s just you and me, alright? Focus on me, yeah?” Isaac nodded his head, still slightly frantic but calmer than before as he did as you told and simply focused on you, “Take a deep breath.” You instructed, breathing steadily along with him until his eyes returned to their natural blue colour and his claws retracted.
A moment of silence passed with Isaac slumped against you, hands held tightly in his while he steadied his breathing. You placed your lips to his cheek and then again to the bruise forming beneath his right eye, you hadn’t noticed it earlier. You’d almost forgotten it’d been nearly three weeks since you’d been together, he’d probably been though it with his demon of a sperm doner over the time you were away.
“I’ve missed you.” It was Isaac that broke the silence when your lips disconnected from his injured face.
“I missed you too.” You replied simply, there was so much you’d planned on saying to him while you were in Mystic Falls but at the moment, you felt there were more pressing matters to discuss and again, it was Isaac who spoke.
He pulled away slightly to look at you properly, hands still clasping yours, he gave them a squeeze before he started speaking, “This pack that Derek’s building… I’m guessing you’re not in it?”
“I was never asked. But I’ve kind of already got a pack, which you are more than welcome to join.” You responded hopefully, wishing he’d agree but you knew he wouldn’t. As such a fresh beta he’d stay loyal to his alpha, but, you had to ask.
Isaac nodded his head sadly, “Scott McCall?” You let out a small laugh, at how quickly he’d caught on, “Yeah. He’s not exactly an alpha but he’s helped me out a lot, more than Derek has.”
“Derek told me that wolves are stronger as a pack, he didn’t say anything about vampires though.” Isaac went on, a confused lilt in his voice.
“I found out in Mystic Falls that vampires rarely belong to packs and by vampire nature I don’t need one, but Ric figures that it’s in my nature to want one since it’s all I’ve ever known.” You relayed the information to Isaac.
“Then why not, you know, join mine?” His lip was pulled between his teeth and he was looking at you with a hopeful expression.
“Isaac I just told you…” You said pleadingly, you didn’t want to upset him any further but you also couldn’t throw away the pack bond you’d built with Scott and Stiles when you’d first turned. If it was a matter of Isaac’s pack being made up of just Isaac there would’ve been no problems, it was the fact that it wasn’t Isaac’s pack but Derek’s.
Scratching what you’d decided about Derek earlier, you came to a new agreement with yourself: all of hell would freeze over before you even thought of easing up on Derek Hale.
Isaac threw his head back with a groan, “Come on, (N/n)! We are not going to let our love play out like Romeo and Juliet!” The way he spoke was humorous but it was obvious that he wasn’t really joking.
With a sigh you moved your shaking hands, that were now covered in scabbed over cuts as opposed to their previous status of raw and bleeding, to Isaac’s face. Your thumbs moved gently along his cheek bones as you took him in with an encouraging smile on your face as you told him confidently, “I refuse to let us become a modern day Romeo and Juliet, that’s not happening.”
You pulled him closer to you, slipping your arms around his shoulders and doing your best to ignore the butterflies rioting in your stomach when his arms wrapped tentatively around your waist.
You brought your lips to meet his briefly before fixing him with another determined look, “But listen to me, we might be loyal to different packs but I’m on your side, no matter what.”
Isaac nodded his head in understanding, “If it comes down to it, I’m always gonna choose you.” He responded honestly, arms tightening around you to hold you against his chest, his height causing his chin to be tilted downwards so that he could meet your eyes.
“I meant what I said to Derek, by the way.” You informed, Isaac’s eyebrows rose in confusion again, “If he mistreats you I’ll tear him apart.”
“Should I give Scott the same warning?” Isaac asked humorously and you had to shake your head in order to hold back a laugh.
It wasn’t until you’d separated from your embrace with Isaac that you took into account the fact that your body was now shaking with the cold.
“Come on, I’ve gotta call my dad and probably the sheriff and you’re freezing.” Isaac stated, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and leading you back to the cemetery where you noticed his overturned excavator and the dug up grave plot.
You listened with curiosity while Isaac spoke to his father on the phone, trying to explain exactly what had transpired in the last couple of hours since his shift started.
“How the hell does an excavator just flip over, Isaac?” You could hear his fathers anger through the line and Isaac fumbled for a response, “Someone, or something- I don’t know it could’ve been an animal, but it got pushed from the side and tipped over. I fell into the plot I was digging and that was it, I didn’t see the rest.” He explained weakly.
“You still stuck in hole, you idiot?” You watched as Isaac clenched his jaw and motioned to yourself when he was finally looking at you, “No. No, um, (Y/n) just got back from Virgina, she came looking for me and helped me out.”
“She still there?” His father questioned, seemingly cooling off at the mention of your name. You hated how much that man seemed to like you when he should’ve held that affection for his actual son.
“Yeah, she’s with me now.” Isaac confirmed and you offered up a fake cheerful, “Hi, Mr Lahey!”
“Invite her over while I call the sheriff and see about getting this mess cleaned up.” With that, he hung up the phone and Isaac sighed, “You’re starting to look like Mr. Freeze, let’s get you warmed up.” His arm stayed comfortably wrapped around your shoulder and as you reached up to hold his hand that was hanging over your shoulder you stopped dead in your tracks, “Isaac, I can’t go and greet your father looking like this.”
You motioned to your torn and bloodstained hoodie, immediately regretting it when his eyes widened in shock, “Did I… oh god (Y/n) did I do that?”
Not missing a beat you grabbed his hands and made sure you soothed his panic before you got a rerun of earlier.
“It’s not your fault. You’re new to this, okay? Mistakes happen and that’s fine it’s all part of the process. And look!-” You pulled off the hoodie to reveal your now completely healed arms and hands, nothing but dried blood to show that the claw marks were even there in the first place. “‘M all healed up! No harm done.” You reassured him, bringing his lips to yours to further convince him that you were okay and distract him from the guilt you could feel building within him.
Your arms, although no longer cut, were covered in goosebumps as Isaac ran his hands affectionately down the length of them. “It won’t happen again.” He promised and you gave him a shaky smile, teeth beginning to chatter, “Let’s go home?” Isaac nodded his head, nothing short of ripping his own hoodie off before pulling your arms through the sleeves and moving himself in front of you to zip it up.
You watched completely content as he fumbled with the zipper. His curls were falling in front of his eyes and his eyes were squinted in concentration. The quiet, but triumphant, “got it” he let out when he finally finessed the zipper had you grinning like a fool.
When he moved his focus from the zip and back to your face, he smiled bashfully, “What’re you looking at me like that for?”
The sleeves of his hoodie, that was miles too big for you, hung far past your wrists and brushed against the nape of his neck, your fingers finding a place tangled in his hair while you stared at him, grin ever present.
Your other hand was otherwise occupied being placed firmly against Isaac’s chest, enjoying the feeling of his rapidly beating heart, and you didn’t know it entirely. But in that moment it was beating for you and you alone.
Isaac’s hand made itself comfortable holding your waist, the other holding your own against his chest, keeping it in place.
Neither of you needed to say it. You could both feel it. But still, you found yourself uttering the words, “I love you.”
Not half a second had passed before Isaac echoed your declaration, “I love you.”
“I feel like if I kiss you right now I won’t be able to stop but I’m still freezing my ass off so… your place?”
Isaac nodded his head in agreement, “My place.”
*
Upon arrival at the Lahey residence, Mr. Lahey had greeted you with a wide smile and ushered you into the kitchen where he instructed Isaac to make you some tea, to which Isaac had to restrain a grumble as he’d been planning on doing it anyway.
Mr. Lahey was happily chatting away to you when Isaac set down two cups of tea, one in front of his father and one in front of you, his eyes lingering on you with a certain kind of glint before he turned back to the counter to grab his own cup and returning to sit beside you at the table.
Isaac was, in all honesty, losing it. He didn’t even know why. You were just sitting there, wrapped up in his hoodie, nose ever so slightly pink from the cold, talking politely to his father. It was nothing out of the ordinary but he was finding it hard to think about anything other than how his hoodie would look splayed on the floor of his bedroom.
He wasn’t very good at hiding it either, you could feel it as clear as day. Teenage boy hormones mixing with teenage werewolf hormones were causing havoc and it’d be a lie to say it wasn’t having an affect on you.
Trying to return your attention to whatever Mr.Lahey was babbling about you clearing your throat and took a sip of your tea, keeping your expression neutral as Isaac’s hand slipped to your knee under the table. His attempt to pull you into his mess of hormones was obviously successful as you found yourself ready to yell out in frustration when his hand stayed put on your knee for a solid twenty minutes before his father finally rose from the table.
“I’m going to check out the situation at the cemetery, you’re welcome to stay tonight, it’s pretty dangerous out there these days.” Mr. Lahey offered and you smiled innocently at him as he stood in the doorway, “I think I’ll take you up on that. Thank you.” The older man gave you a nod but said no more before walking out the front door.
“What the hell are you doing?” You finally burst when the front door clicked shut, whipping around to face Isaac.
“What?” He asked as if his hand didn’t start sliding further up your leg the second his father left the room.
You groaned, “Don’t ‘what?’ me when you’re about four centimetres from having your hand between my thighs!”
“Sorry.” He immediately retracted his hand, eyes wide as he realised how close his hand was to reaching the top of your thigh, “I, um, I didn’t mean to- I mean, I did mean to but i won’t do it again if you don’t want me to-“
“Isaac.” You cut him off, lip pulled between your teeth, “I want you to.” You declared and he let out a heavy sigh full of relief, “Thank God.” He muttered before he was pulling you up off the chair and right against his chest.
His lips immediately found yours and his hands were gripping your waist like there was no tomorrow.
At this point, the butterflies in your stomach were going absolutely bat shit feral when his lips began to trail past your lips, to your chin, then to the curve of your jaw. It was when his hand slipped deftly up your side to settle against your jaw that you realised just how much you’d been wanting this.
Isaac’s lips fell further to your neck and you couldn’t stop the hum of approval that escaped your mouth at the sensation of his soft lips sucking and licking at your pulse. “It this okay?” He asked in a mutter, the dainty and nervous nature of his voice contrasting greatly with the confidence and ferocity of his actions.
Your hands tugged gently at his hair to get him to meet you clouded eyes, when he looked at you you were sure that his eyes had flashed yellow, his breathing was getting heavy and you had an inkling that his lips on your neck was the most exciting thing that was going to happen between you tonight.
“It’s more than okay.” You told him with a dopey smile, letting out a laugh when he dived back into the crook of your neck, kissing your skin through a smile.
Despite your words your hands moved to his chest to push him away slightly, “But…” you started as Isaac threw his head back with a groan, “I think we should stop, and maybe revisit this after the full moon passes.”
After taking in a steadying breath Isaac nodded in agreement, “Yeah, you’re probably right.” His hand slipped into yours and he intertwined his fingers with yours, he spent a moment just looking at your linked hands with a fond smile and the look of achievement on his face. It was easy to tell, with the help of your empathic powers, that Isaac was proud of himself.
You yourself couldn’t quite pinpoint why he was feeling so prideful in the moment, but he knew. To be truthful he wasn’t just proud of himself, he was downright ecstatic. He’d been nothing more than your best friend since you were both eleven, and now, six years later he finally crossed the threshold from being your best friend to being your- well actually now that he thought about it, he wasn’t sure what he is to you now.
A few hours passed before Isaac worked up the courage to ask the question that had formed in his mind after his make out session with you earlier.
The pair of you had since gotten comfortable in his bed, which was nothing particularly new. You laid on your side with your back to the bedroom door, Isaac was behind you, his chin tucked in between your shoulder and your neck with his arms around your torso holding you close to him.
“Can I ask you something?” His voice broke through the silence and you responded with a tired hum, adjusting his arm so you could snuggle closer and tried your best to stop yourself from falling asleep while he murmured softly in your ear.
“What are we?” He kept his eyes trained on the dark room ahead of him, his hand grabbing yours as you readjusted his arm and he absentmindedly began playing with your fingers, the action being successful in calming his nerves.
“What do you want us to be?” You asked sleepily in response, a small smile forming on your face as you heard his heartbeat speeding up.
Isaac let out a nervous breath against your neck and you held back a shudder at the feeling, “I was kind of thinking that all the kissing would make us a couple.” Letting out another sleepy hum, if it was even physically possible, you snuggled deeper into his hold. You sluggishly turned your head to place a light kiss against his cheek, “Then we’re a couple.”
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chapter seven.
⇥ pairing: ot7 x reader
⇥ genre: college au with fluff, smut & angst
⇥ summary: a series in which the reader meets (and falls for) seven members of the Beta Tau Sigma (BTS) fraternity
⇥ word count: 3.6k
⇥ warnings: 18+, lots of cursing, general chaotic energy, poly relationship, a short confrontation, mentions of slut-shaming, switch!reader, dom!joon, switch!jin, sub!jimin, library shenanigans, an abundance of coffee, punishments, spanking, bad puns (jin is in this chapter, DUH), many nerd references uwu
© luxekook. please do not repost, modify, edit or translate.
characters | prologue | one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine
Chapter Seven
Quinn Library – 3:54pm
The end of September passes in a blur of studying, partying, volunteering, and spending time with friends. The month’s conclusion also includes the increasing presence of seven boys in my everyday routine.
Since giving Taehyung the suck of his life in the bathroom of Hannigan’s, I have been basically fighting off the seven of them for a moment to breathe. But, sometimes breathing is overrated when being smothered by affection.
Going from being single to essentially dating seven people is quite the adjustment. I found myself growing attached to them – something that both excited and scared the shit out of me. We haven’t discussed labels or anything, but I figure it’s only a matter of time. The boys have apparently been planning an elaborate first date for this upcoming weekend, and I feel like they’ll probably ask to make it official then.
My stomach erupts in butterflies at the thought, and I take a calming breath. No need to overthink such things.
While it might be unconventional by some societal standards, polyamory is simply a way to love. Why should love come with confines? With binary expectations? The saying ‘love is love’ gets thrown around a lot, but I believe it bears repeating.
Jenni and Luna have been nothing but supportive to me over the past two weeks. They even came with me to volunteer this past weekend because they - and I quote - wanted to ‘check out our vibe’. But, I wholeheartedly expect that the real reason had actually been for them to feel out the boys’ intentions.
Why did I suspect this? Well, because Jungkook had come up to me within the first fifteen minutes at the worksite quivering in fear over how ‘scary my friends were’ and how ‘Jenni had cornered him to interrogate him while Luna hovered behind her, menacingly holding a nail-gun’.
I had never felt more loved and supported by my friends.
My phone dings, and I quickly hasten to put it on silent, shooting an embarrassed and apologetic look around the library. It seems like most people have headphones in, and I let out a sigh of relief. No one wants to be that one loud person in the library.
Checking my notifications, I smile when I see it’s a SnapChat from Hobi in the group chat the boys created a few weeks ago. My thumb swipes it open, and I barely contain myself from announcing to the whole library how vibrantly handsome one of my potential boyfriends is.
I quickly send a SnapChat back of me and my stack of books in the library with the caption ‘send help in the form of coffee’.
Immediately, Taehyung sends a flurry of heart eyes emojis in the chat, Jungkook sends a ‘noona is so cute’, and Yoongi sends back a picture of a black screen with the caption ‘come nap with me’.
God, I would love to nap with Yoongi right now… Alone time with the older boy is so elusively precious. One day last week at their house, I had mentioned wanting to learn piano. Yoongi had just grabbed my hand and tugged me to his room. We had spent a couple hours together in the small corner of his room playing on his keyboard.
Well, he had been playing; I had been fumbling around like a buffoon - half uncoordinated in general and half flustered by how good Yoongi looked playing. His hands had been so nimble as they flew over the keys, crafting melodies I could only assume he had composed. His focus had been so fucking hot as he nodded slightly along to the tempo in his head, his eyes shooting over to look at me every once in a while.
My hand kink? Activated.
My willpower to not kiss the shit out of Yoongi? Nonexistent.
When Yoongi had paused in between songs, I may or may not have grabbed him by his shirt collar and kissed him. His blushing attempt to dodge me had been so cute; and when I had stopped trying to kiss him, he had pouted and then kissed me instead.
What a cutie…
A giggle draws my attention from my reminiscing. At first, I pay it no mind, taking it as a directive to dive back into my studies. But then, the whispering starts.
“I heard she’s fucking her way through the whole house.”
“Isn’t there a term for that?”
“Yeah, a frat rat.”
I slam my 500-page textbook closed and stand, leveling the duo of gossiping girls with a glare that could make grown men cry. It had before when I had to properly eviscerate my uncle in defense of feminism at our last family gathering. What a time that had been.
“Is there a problem?” I force the question through gritted teeth, stalking over towards their nearby table. I relish in the way they gape at me, eyes wide and pupils quivering, “I’m sorry. I’m afraid my complaint jar is at capacity. Please don’t try again later.”
The girl on the right gulps, “No-nope, there’s no problem! We were just leaving. Right, Janika?”
“No,” The girl who had called me a ‘frat rat’ just moments before crosses her arms and stands, “I do, like, have a problem.”
“Janika,” The other girl tugs on the sleeve of the one standing, “Don’t.”
“Yeah, Janika,” I smile, “Don’t.”
I can see the moment she snaps.
“You’re, like, such a fucking bitch! I don’t know what they all see in you. Oh wait, yes I do. You’re fucking easy.”
I consider myself to be a patient person, but having to endure this type of rant against my character - and against women’s sexual freedom in general - has pushed me well past my limits.
“Now, listen here, Janika,” I take another step forward, “You can keep talking your shit. I really don’t give a flying fuck what you think about me. But I really advise you to google ‘how to stop slut-shaming for dummies’ because it seems like you need a crash course.”
Janika’s face darkens, “Whatever. They’ll get tired of you anyway.”
“Yeah,” I let out an amused laugh, “I’m sure they’ll get real tired of me choking on their dicks every night.”
Letting out a gasp, Janika whirls back around to face her silent friend, “Let’s go. I don’t want to, like, be around her any longer.”
“Buh-bye now,”I wiggle my fingers in their direction as they shuffle out of the library.
Smiling in satisfaction, I head back towards my table. Without hesitation, I gather my books and belongings and head upstairs to the quiet floor. Any more distractions or confrontations would probably make my blood pressure pop off the charts.
The quiet floor, as one of my safe havens, is home to several small private study rooms. Peering into each, I start to lose hope that any would be available. Finally, the very last room proves me wrong, and I swing open the door and almost in tears over the sweet, sweet solitude.
This particular study room is tucked away in the very far corner of the library’s second floor. Not many people are aware of its location, and it seems that paid off for me today. Plopping my things down across the table in the center of the tiny room, I follow suit and drop down into one of the two chairs adjoining the table.
What a clusterfuck of an afternoon… This sadly isn’t the first time I’ve heard some comments being made about my association with the BTS boys, and I knew it wouldn’t be the last. Yet, part of me knew all along that this would be the trade-off.
After all, what are a few irrelevant opinions to seven gorgeous and loyal partners? Inconsequential - in my opinion. That is the reason why I haven’t breathed a word of the backlash to anyone.
Sighing, I flip open my textbook to where I had been before being rudely interrupted.
The amygdala plays a key role in emotion and behavior…
“Noona?”
I jump a half-mile out of my chair, slapping a hand over my pounding heart. Jimin had somehow managed to enter the room without my knowledge. Had he fucking teleported?
Holding a giant iced coffee in one hand and a cinnamon bun in the other, Jimin beams at me and ignores the fact he just scared the living shit out of me. “Hi, noona! I saw your SnapChat while I was in class, and I came here as soon as I could.”
I stare dumbfounded at the angel before me. Jimin is slightly out of breath with reddened cheeks and a sweaty brow. His black track-pants are slung low on his hips, his long-sleeve white t-shirt clings to his torso, his black duffle bag thrown carelessly over one shoulder. He must have run over straight from dance class.
Standing abruptly, I stalk over to where Jimin is still posted up by the doorway to the study room. Toe to toe with him, I blurt out while still half in a daze, “You really brought me coffee and food?”
He eyes me warily like I might suddenly jump on him at any moment. Shifting his weight back and forth, Jimin hesitantly replies, “Um, yes?"
I take the coffee and cinnamon bun from his hands, place them on the table, and then tackle him with the biggest hug. "You absolute sweetheart!" I murmur into the crook of his neck, "This made my day. Thank you, Jimin-ie."
His hands tentatively wrap around me, pulling me closer. "You're welcome, noona. I just wanted to do something nice for you.”
“Well, I really appreciate it, baby,” My lips brush over the crevice of his collarbone and relish in his shudder. Bringing my head up to face his, I smile widely at him, “Can I kiss you, Jimin-ie?”
“Yes,” He sighs out, eyes already closing in anticipation. I press my lips to his, still smiling softly against his mouth. His lips are plush under mine, velvety soft. My tongue swipes across his bottom lip and— Is that coffee I taste?
I pull back, “Jimin, did you sip my coffee on your way here?”
The boy looks rightfully alarmed, “I– y-yes. But only a little, noona!”
Cute.
“Hmm,” I trail my fingers down his chest, “I guess I’ll make an exception for you this time since you were the one to bring it for me.”
Jimin relaxes slightly, but his expression is strangely disappointed. I stare at him quizzically, and he blushes.
“What is it?” I lean against the table, facing him.
He clears his throat, staring intensely at the ground, “You can still punish me if you want, (y/n)-noona.”
My eyebrows shoot upwards at his offer, and then I let out a slight chuckle, “Oh, Jimin… That would be a favor to you, wouldn’t it? My baby boy wants to be punished, hm? Did dance practice make you all hot and bothered? Jungkook tells me that has been happening to you lately.”
Jimin’s face explodes in color as he mutters, “That little bitch will pay for this.”
Suddenly, the door swings open with a resounding thud, nearly clipping Jimin in the shoulder.
“Your savior has arrived!” Kim Seokjin announces loudly in spite of the studiously silent atmosphere of the quiet floor. His hands hold two steaming hot travel mugs, which I can only guess are filled with the elixir of the gods (aka coffee).
Seokjin’s eyes glance around the room as he takes in the fact that I’m not alone as he obviously had expected. “Wait, Jimin-ie? What are you doing here?” Jin’s eyes flick down to the coffee and cinnamon roll that lay on the table. “Goddamn it!”
“You were too slow, hyung,” Jimin smirks happily as he takes a seat in the chair I had previously vacated. He slouches smugly as he stares up at the fuming older boy.
“Too slow?!” Jin roars.
“Jin,” I chastise, circumventing around him to shut the door.
“Sorry, babe,” Seokjin says while still glaring daggers at the all-too-pleased Jimin. Suddenly, his expression changes into a sneaky look that makes me both want to run and jump his bones. “Well,” He waves the two coffee mugs around in the air, “I made these myself - with love. I didn’t buy that generic shit; I brewed it, baby.”
It’s Jimin’s turn again to look disgruntled, and I can’t help but laugh at their antics.
“Any and all coffee is appreciated and loved by me – the more the merrier. So, thank you both,” You say, taking one of the travel mugs from Seokjin. Kissing his cheek, you turn back to sit opposite Jimin at the table.
“She kissed me on the lips!” Jimin bursts.
“Park Jimin!” I cry as Jin splutters some sort of incoherent rant about fairness and equality.
Jimin holds eye contact with me, still leaning back in his chair like he’s the king of the fucking universe. But, he’s not; I am.
My chair hits the wall behind me with a bang as I stand, planting my hands on the table to loom over Jimin. “Do you think it’s fun to push your hyung, Jimin? Does it amuse you to be a little shit?”
I can see the moment that Jimin decides to be a brat. His eyes heat up in a challenge, and he firmly answers, “Yes, noona.”
“Get up.” The change in my tone is apparent. Jimin gulps. Getting to his feet, he stares back at me expectantly.
“Jin,” I address the older boy while still maintaining eye contact with Jimin, “What kind of punishment do you think I should give our Jimin here?”
Seokjin rounds my other side, grinning, “Well, (y/n) darling, I believe he should get spanked.”
“Interesting choice,” I murmur, turning to face Jin, “That’s what you’re going to get then.”
“What?” Jin squawks, arms waving rapidly around in the air, “But I didn’t do anything!”
“Nothing is what you should have done, Jin,” I push him against the wall, “You know better than to let Jimin rile you up like this.”
Those plump lips of his pout dramatically as he whines, “But, (y/n)…”
“But nothing,” I say and then whirl around to face the other boy. He’s still standing where I left him with his eyes glued to the pair of us. “Jimin,” I hold his gaze, “You’re going to watch. You’re not going to touch yourself, your hyung isn’t going to touch you, and I’m not going to touch you.”
His eyes widen comically, “No! That’s not fair!”
“Do you want to be gagged, too, baby boy?” I ask, cocking my head slightly. Seeing his emphatic head shakes, I grin. “That’s what I thought. Now, stay.”
Turning back to Jin, I smirk slightly as I ask, “Punishment now or later?”
Seokjin’s eyes scrunch cutely in confusion, “What?”
“You see,” I move closer to him, my body brushes his, “I think you earned a punishment, but I think you also earned helping me punish Jimin.”
A wide grin crosses Jin’s face as he glances back at the corner Jimin is stewing in. “I would be honored to help you punish him, babe.”
“That’s what I figured,” I smile briefly at him before slowly sliding my hands up his chest to rest on the nape of his neck. Holding them there, I press the lightest of kisses to the corner of his lips.
Jin’s breath hitches in his throat.
I run my tongue against the seam of his mouth, taking my time and savoring the sweet taste of him. His lips part to let me in, my tongue sliding across his. I grind against him as we kiss, moving my hips in such a way that makes him groan and lean back harder against the wall.
“What the fuck is going on in here?”
Ripping my mouth from Jin’s, I turn to face the newcomer.
Namjoon stands in the doorway holding yet another cup of coffee, his face thunderous. "What do the three of you think you're doing? This is the goddamn library, you heathens!”
Seokjin jumps out of his skin in fright, pushing me away faster than I can anticipate. Stumbling back, I crash into Jimin – who apparently had ventured out of his assigned corner. Brat.
“The shades were open!” Namjoon continues to rant as he flicks the aforementioned item down to cover the door’s window, “Did you want people to see you?”
He reads the expression on my face correctly, “Oh, but you did, didn’t you, (y/n)?” Namjoon approaches where I’m still captured in Jimin’s embrace. Glaring down at me, he taunts, “So quick to stake your claim; but, make no mistake, they were mine first.”
Shaking out of Jimin’s hold, I straighten, raising my chin to meet Namjoon’s gaze full-on, “That’s interesting. I didn’t realize you were so lenient with your partners.”
Jimin makes a choking noise behind me. Jin stands behind Namjoon, waving a hand in front of his throat to clearly tell me to stop talking. I keep going, “Perhaps I need to teach you how to discipline.”
Namjoon flips me around, shoves Jimin out of the way, and bends me facedown across the table.
“Jin,” He says, his voice growly, “Stand in the hall and let me know if you can hear us.”
The sound of the door opening and closing alerts me that Jin followed Namjoon’s instructions without a word.
“Jimin,” He continues, “Hold (y/n)’s hands out in front of her.” Jimin ascquieces, staring apologetically down at me as he tugs my hands towards him.
“This is cute,” I say, “I always love holding Jimin-ie’s hands.”
Thwack. The stinging imprint of Namjoon’s palm on my ass burns deliciously. I arch my back, looking over my shoulder at him with a half-smile. “Do it harder, daddy.”
A breath sucks in between his lips as I utter the word I know will get him feeling as hot as me. “You’re playing a dangerous game, baby girl,” Namjoon grits out, his jaw clenched tightly.
“Oh, daddy,” I say, “Don’t you remember? I’m the fucking Queen.”
“Was that a chess pun? Nice.” A muffled voice followed by a squeaky laugh sounds through the door.
“Seokjin,” Namjoon seethes, flying over to open the door and drag the older boy back inside, “I thought I told you to let me know if you could hear us.”
I tug out of Jimin’s gentle hold, straighten back up, and then situate myself into a sitting position on the table.
I watch amusedly as Jin shimmies his way out of Joon’s grasp, “Yah! It’s not my fault I get intense FOMO. Don’t hate the player, hate the game. Besides, I only heard you because I had my ear pressed to the door.”
Jimin stifles a giggle. I let out a full-on laugh. Namjoon mumbles what sounds like a plea to some higher power under his breath.
“See what I have to deal with?” Namjoon turns to me, shaking his head. “Are you sure you want to sign up for this?”
“That depends,” I swing my legs back and forth as I stay perched on the table, “Are you going to keep spanking me?”
The boy who had just unhesitatingly bent me over to punish me now blushes and rubs the back of his neck. “I mean, probably? You have quite a mouth on you, baby.”
Hopping off the table, I laugh, “Good answer. Ten points to Gryffindor.”
“Woo!” Jin cheers, “Nice job on the House Points, Joon-ie!”
“I am in love with idiots,” Jimin sighs.
Grabbing my phone from my backpack, I let out a slight yell as I read the time. “Shit, shit, shit, shit!” I scramble to shove all of my textbooks back into my bag.
“What is it, noona?” Jimin worries, appearing next to me. “Are you late for class?”
“No,” I cry, “It’s so much worse. I’m late for my weekly Animal Crossing discord chat! Heath is gonna kill me…”
“Heath?” Jin scowls, “Who is this Heath you speak of?”
“Chill, fam,” I shrug my backpack onto my shoulders and stare contemplatively down at the three different coffees. “You can’t get jealous every time I mention a new person. What’s next? You’re gonna come for Tom Nook?”
Namjoon - who must play Animal Crossing - stifles a laugh as Jin pouts. “She has a point, Jin.”
“And so does a pencil. Big whoop,” Jin scowls with his arms folded.
“Aw, Seokjin-ie,” I coo, reaching over to pinch his cheek, “Don’t be mad. You’ll get to spend all day with me on Saturday after volunteering! What are we doing, anyways?” I level Joon with my best side-eye as I ask that question, knowing he is more likely than not the mastermind behind our planned date.
“It’s going to be great, noona!” Jimin pipes up, hugging me from the side, “You’re going to love it…You’re going to love us.” He murmurs the last part, probably not meaning for me to hear; but, I do.
God, I do.
“We’ll pick you up before volunteering,” Joon says, “Just bring yourself and a change of clothes.”
“What?” I decide - fuck it - and attempt to grab all three coffees, “No overnight bag?”
Jin, who had just taken a sip of his own coffee, spews it everywhere. “Pack one,” He gasps out in between coughs.
Laughing, I walk to the door, which Jimin kindly opens for me. “Okay, I’ll think about it. Ah, I’m so late. Jimin and Jin, I’ll punish you at a later time. Joon, you can try to punish me at a later time.” Living for their astonished expressions, I wave as best I can with three coffees in hand, “Bye, babes! Text me-e-e.”
As I make my way out of the library, it hits me that I only have one more day to prepare for this date. Fucking hell…
a/n: this is such a filler of a chap with a tinge of drama mixed in, hehe. the next one is gonna be that date tho uwu stay tuuuuuuned and thanks 4 reading
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