#but I’ve been into fanfic again and I hate the idea of writing sad endings for canon characters

[greyhavensking]

WHY do I have a sudden urge to write tragedy and why is it so damn intense

[third-arch]

I cried while brainstorming a chapter for my epilogue

!!Spoilers for “No Surprises” ahead!!

There are times that I’ve cried writing or coming up with ideas for my fanfiction. It’s a really sad story, and normally it doesn’t get to me.

But, Kanna will die. There’s nothing anyone could’ve done to change it. That’s why it’s called “No Surprises”. I’m telling you guys how it ends. The real story is their journey together. The bittersweet moments, the awkward, uncomfortable moments, the traumatic moments.

That’s the whole point. It’s a broken road of memories they shared together: both good times and bad. Insignificant and nostalgic.

Despite all his medical expertise, growth, despite it all, he couldn’t save her. He never ever will forgive himself for his recklessness. He blames himself everyday.

So imagine three years following the fanfic:

Law is now a “single dad” navigating parenthood to his almost 5 year old daughter, Taiga, who knows nothing about her mom.

Law hates thinking about her sometimes. It hurts. He feels like he’s going through the motions sometimes. It’s too quiet without her.

It’s not right.

And here’s taiga, this ADHD ball of sunshine tiger/Luffy character who loves her dad and wants to know about her mom. She believes deep down that she’s alive and carries around a photo of her.

One late night,

She tries sneaking out to find her, only to be caught at by Law.

“Where have you been! You foolish girl, you can’t ever do that again!”

“I went to go find mommy!! She’s here, I know it-“

They argue. Law keeps his cool, but thinking about Kanna makes him more and more emotional.

He loses his temper finally.

It escalates, and Law snaps at her,

“ENOUGH! I’ve had it with you! Mom’s gone! I watched her die!!”

His words catch in his throat, and he lets out a deep and frustrated exhale,

“…go to your room, right now.” He glares at her.

Taiga’s eyes well at his words, her lips quiver as she puts on her bravest face,

“I hate you daddy!! You’re the meanest worst dad ever!! Mom loved you and you’re just a monster!! I wish you weren’t my dad!!”

She slams the door littered with “Trafalgar Tiger!!” “Beware of tiger!!” “No Dads allowed” posters on her door and slams it shut, hugging the snow leopard plush Law gave her and crying.

She was six years old.

Law knocks on her door, gently apologizing and sitting down on her bed.

This tall, 191 cm stoic dad with his small, energetic daughter, who’s scowling at him.

But, putting myself in the mind of a six year old who’s convinced that her mom might still be alive and single dad Trafalgar Law having to tell her no hurts like crazy.

It’s heartbreaking.

I cried brainstorming this scene. The tension, imagining how a dad might yell at his daughter, is just heartbreaking.

“I shouldn’t have snapped at you. You’re too young to hear those kinds of things. I hurt you deeply, and I’m sorry.”

He notices her wet cheeks and tear stained pillow as he puts his hand on her head.

“I don’t expect your forgiveness, but I don’t want any hatred or resentment to come of this. Can you promise me that, Taiga-ya?”

Taiga tearfully nods.

And at the end of it, he cuddles her until she falls asleep against his chest.

“I don’t hate mom, Taiga-ya. I love her. I would do anything in the world to have her back. But she’s gone. She’s watching over you everyday, and she loves you just as much as I do.”

“I know you miss her. But I promise you, that I never stopped loving her, just as I never stopped loving you, okay?”

I’m getting teary eyed just typing this out.

I love Law so much. He’s such an interesting character to work with, and it’s even better when you don’t try to pry into his mind. Just keeping it brief and vague as he would.

So the epilogue, “Speak Now”, is going to be really interesting when it comes to him being more of a minor character, given the canon story and fanfic.

[wisecrackingeric-2]

((Redoing this cuz TUMBLR FLAGGED IT DAMNIT))

20 Questions for Fic Authors !!

Thank you S O SOSOSOSOOSSOSO MUCH @sunhatllama & @courtofparrots for tagging me!!!!! :DDD

1. How many works do you have??

36!!

2. What is your AO3 word count??

202,659!!!!!!!!! God fucking damn!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3. What fandoms do you write for??

Just Resident Evil!! :D

4. What are your top 5 fics by Kudos??

1. All You Have To Do Is Ask

2. Your Drunk Words Are Sober Thoughts

3. Leon (Finally) Gets Top Surgery

4. Anemoia

And Love Me Like There’s No Tomorrow in that order!!

5. Do you respond to comments??

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES EVEN IF IT TAKES ME FOREVER I ADORE COMMENTS THEY KEEP ME GOING

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending??

OOOOOUGHH this is hard because I am ALLERGIC to writing angst BXBDHENSJ I don’t know why I just struggle to do it!!!! I always feel too bad for the characters!!!!! But if I HAD to pick I’d proooobably say It Was Only Yesterday for @aquarelacosmica because old age is sad I guess BXNENNEDJ

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending??

Literally all of them HDBEHENDJJ happy endings are guaranteed with all my fics but if I had to chose my favourites, they’d be, in no particular order;

1. Marido

2. Matteo

3. Beautiful Boy

4. New Years

5. I’ll Help You Pray

And 6. Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy!!

8. Do you get hate on fics??

Not so far thank god!! I’ve definitely received WEIRD or overbearing comments but no hate!

9. Do you write smut??

My only NS f W fic is Feeling Loved, and it’s more a piece on Luis’ chronic pain and self esteem after RE4 than it is smut I’d say!! It’s very near and dear to my heart <3

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve written??

I’ve never WRITTEN a crossover HOWEVER I have PLENTY of AU’s in my art tag!!! I’d love to write my Warriors Serennedy AU out someday though!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen??

Nope!!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated??

I’ve actually been asked by somebody before if they could translate my fic one time!!! I don’t remember which it was, but I had to politely decline since I didn’t know the language and wouldn’t be able to crowd control the response, but they were super duper polite and kind about it!!!!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before??

I’ve never co-written a fic per se but I’ve definitely had my friends bounce ideas between me and help me with proofreading!!!!! Ily guys <<<<333

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

leans on the suspiciously serennedy-shaped box standing in my room Why do you wanna know?

15. What’s a WIP you’d wanna finish but doubt you ever will??

I have quite a handful that I’ve started but unfortunately lost the momentum for and can’t find it again.

Writing is a lot like art for me- if inspiration strikes I have to do it THEN AND THERE or else I’ll lose the groove for the kind of style/inspo I wanted to do it in, and unfortunately I had to give up quite a few fanfic projects this year to focus on art and also mainly cuz the beginning of this year has been VEEEEEERY tough and I always prioritise my art over writing unfortunately!!

I’m proud of myself for finishing (I’m Just A) Sweet Transvestite though- that one was made through blood sweat and tears :,)

16. What are your writing strengths?

UHHHH NO CLUE!!! I’ve been TOLD it’s how I characterise my characters and how I write dialog, but I think the easiest thing for ME is describing scenes so I dunno!!

17. What are your writing weaknesses??

Can saying ‘everything’ count HFNEHENDJ I’m more of an artist than a writer!! But I think the thing I struggle with the most is stretching out important emotional beats. And also commas.

18. Thoughts on writing dialog in another language??

I do it all the time for Luis so Hell Yeah!!! Thank you Wilfreeeeeeeddd for helpiiiinnngg <<<33

19. First fandom you wrote for??

Also Resident Evil!! Serennedy has a violent chokehold on me

20. Favourite fic you’ve written??

(I’m Just A) Sweet Transvestite !! I am S O proud of myself for finishing it man!!!!! I went through HELL and back writing it and I made something that means a lot to me!!!!!!

Tagging @blveherb , @geddy-leesbian , @leonsbunny , @hamartia-grander , @ugetelynx , @theprestigegirly @mooseonahunt and anyone else who wants to join!! :DD

[hayleytheewriter]

13,14,23,76 for the fic ask?

Wow, so many, I love it! Here’s the list of fic author questions.

13. what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

Don’t re-read until you’re done. I almost always TRY to follow this.

14. how do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from personal experiences?

I love a dramatic fight (as you can tell from my fics lol). I’ll usually say the lines to myself and lowkey act out the scene. I think I do feel what the characters feel in a way, because sometimes an emotional scene will end differently than I thought it would. I’ve always thought that’s the magical, mystical part of writing. Like, how did the characters I was scripting end up changing the script? I think it must be I was writing faster than I could think, and reacting purely based on how I think the characters honestly would.

Do I draw from personal experiences? I’d say yes. There’s a common piece of writing advice that I used to hate which is: Write what you know. When I was growing up and writing fantasy that tip just pissed me off. But now I interpret it differently. No matter what over the top or absurd thing is happening in the plot, the character’s emotions should be grounded in reality. So even in a situation I haven’t experienced, I’m usually relying on how I feel or how I’ve felt in the past.

23. Best writing advice for other writers?

I think every writer needs the audacity. Because, what’s stopped me in the past, has been thinking to myself “oh I have this idea but someone else would write it better” or “ugh this is too similar to other stuff, no one needs to read my version of these tropes or this story.” And really you just need the fucking audacity to be like— yes I will fill this word doc and write my version.

Also amazing advice— read negative reviews for stories you love. Because then you’re like— just create, who cares if people like it. I can write something even if it sucks, because someone gave Everything Everywhere All At Once two stars on letterbox so I guess all this shit is subjective.

76. Did you have any ideas that didn’t make the final cut of [Fanfic Name]?

Hmmmm you didn’t give a fic name, but I’ve been sharing a lot of cut scenes from my more recent stuff.

I’ll say this— I did a series with 4 short fics called the Wayne Family Fucking Adventures that I wanted to do because I’d never done a series before and I wanted to try it. They’re sort of like my ideas for possible episodes of Wayne Family Adventures on Webtoon.

And I had some more ideas for that!

The Dick Joke…. Dick and Barbara are fighting and the family investigates to figure out what Dick could’ve said that made her so upset (spoiler: he jokingly suggested she dress as Starfire for Halloween)

Damian Vs. The Christmas Tree…. Dick promised they’d decorate his Bludhaven apartment together, but when Damian arrives for the weekend Dick apparently forgot about their plans (he’s working late again). Dami is determined to decorate the apartment for him (it goes poorly) (sad) (Dick comes home and is crushed by guilt) (and an illegally chopped down Douglas Fir) (it has a Hallmark happy ending though)

Wow I just realized, both of those one-shots are just Dick suffering. I guess I was just like, I’ll think it but I won’t create it.

[tridentqueen]

Got a few questions to you as an author :))

1. Do you prefer writing angsty or fluffy fics?

2. Happy or sad endings? (What do you like reading AND writing more)

3. If you had to write an Aegon x Oc fic inspired from any show, which would it be? (As in taking place in the universe of that show)

4. Have you ever cried because of a scene you've written because it was so sad?

5. What is your favorite trope to read/ write about/ what trope in a fic beside aatdd is your favorite right now?

6. What is a fic prompt you would love to write but are scared to?

7. What is a fic trope you would never include in your fics?

8. What is something you love reading but hate writing?

Those are a few questions that seem really interesting to me, I haven’t been reading fics in a long time and recently came back to it and honestly, aatdd might actually be the reason why i'm back to reading hahahhah. But now you got me obsessed with aegon x Oc and there are definitely not enough of them!! Hoping that with season 2 more people will join us aegon girls 😗. All the different aspects to his character that are being explored are just <3. I have even tried reading some aegon x helaena and most were pretty good actually, mostly one shots but still! But there are even less of those around. I'm stickig to aegon x Oc either way 🤷‍♀️. This got pretty long lol

Hi! Thank you for these questions, they gave me a lot to think about ♥️

1. I definitely prefer writing fluff over angst.

2. Happy endings all the way! Sad endings absolutely have their place, but I prefer happy for fanfic.

3. As soon as I read this question my mind went to New Girl, so I guess that’s my answer!

4. Luckily I have not cried because of a scene I’ve written (yet!), but there have definitely been scenes that made me emotional.

5. I really loved writing the fake dating trope in the ‘90s au. For aatdd, I enjoyed writing the friends to lovers aspect the most before Aly and Aegon got together. For tropes in other fics, I haven’t been able to keep up with others’ fics in a good while 😔

6. I couldn’t think of a prompt, but for tropes, I find the soulmates au idea really interesting! It’s a bit scary because it’s out of my wheelhouse haha

7. Absolutely nothing against people who write and read it, but omegaverse is simply not for me.

8. I suppose I would say angst (bringing it back full circle!). I don’t hate writing angst, but it’s certainly not my favorite. Reading it can be great, though!

Welcome back to reading fics! I’m so flattered that you like aatdd so much that you started reading other Aegon fics! And I agree that there are not enough - hopefully, like you said, season 2 brings some more. In the meantime, though, we’re all doing our part 🫡

I haven’t read any Aegon/Helaena fics, but I might once I finish my behemoth 😭

Thank you again for the great questions! ♥️

[agent-cupcake]

Hey, another fanfic writer here—I saw ur recent post regarding lack of interest, and I have a few things I’d like to share that would hopefully help you since I’ve felt, and to an extent STILL feel the way you do about the topic of only really getting attention for fics of other more popular fandoms while the ones your proud of are just… 20 likes, as you said.

Apologies for the unasked advice, I come from a place of complete empathy since I’ve been there again and again to where I’d write a shit one off for a fic and it would get more traction then the stuff I actually put work into—like “wow you guys prefer some garbage written fluff of x character but this fic, which i have poured a LOT into, isn’t really acknowledged?” and unfortunately, there’s really no way of getting past that feeling beyond just completely removing yourself from the concept of being praised/putting importance in other people’s thoughts.

Genuinely I have not felt better than now when I post fics because I completely disregard people’s opinions—both good and bad, whether it be praise or mild hate—whatever is said, I feel nothing. This has fostered to the extent where I get annoyed when I get excessive likes for a fic because I find the notifs annoying. It’s a sad reality, but as writers (or creatives in general) it’s a detriment to consider others, especially when YOU, a painfully, undoubtedly SKILLED writer whose unpaid.

Seriously, not to give you the sloppy or whatever, but you’re fucking GOOD. And not to be the “hehe im a hardass and hard to impress!” but genuinely, reading your fics just makes me “😨” BECAUSE THEYRE SO GOOD?? HOW ARE THEY NOT PUBLISHED WORKS?? HOW ARE YOU ONLY GETTING 200 NOTES?? And it pains me to read that you’re deeply effected by the lack of traction you get, because I understand, but you must understand your worth isn’t defined by degens online who want a good smut or just a person who wants to read any content made of a niche character :(

Yadiyadia, long story short: You’re good (REALLY good) and I STRONGLY advise you learn to completely detach yourself from the want for praise and learn to create merely because you enjoy it, because in the end, all that matters is that YOURE happy and you, as the unpaid and sinfully underrated fanfic writer, enjoy the process.

I was being whiny and pathetic last night I don't like the way I came off so first off, I thank you for sending this, and thank all of the people who responded to my complaining with such kindness and understanding. There are so many wonderful people who have followed and interacted with me throughout the years. It's really unfair when I get depressive to be whiny about interaction when I have proof that so many people are willing to read 20k+ word fics. That's, what, over an hour out of their lives? Regardless if they comment or interact beyond that, it's something I'm way too willing to take for granted. I do apologize for speaking in a way that devalues what a blessing all of you are. When I'm upset I have a tendency to speak in a way that plays on guilt or sympathy way too much and, combined with my poor communication skills, I really do not like the way I came off especially since the people who reached out are the same ones who have been supporting me to begin with. It's poor behavior and I should be more mindful. Really, truly, thank you so much for offering your kindness and support, it really does mean a lot to me.

This is good advice and you're right that it's something I should keep in mind. Perspective is the name of the game unless you want to suffer. For the most part, I really do try to think this way. You know, create for the sake it of, enjoy what you do, all of that. To clarify, a little bit, the feelings behind my rambling last night, I view creation as an inherently interactive process. I have an idea and try to figure out how best to express that idea so I can share it with the reader who can then interpret and respond to that idea. The reader can tell me if I properly expressed that idea, or if I failed. That's why even something as small as "this was hot lol" is meaningful is because it's somebody telling me that I was successful with expressing my idea . But if this is how I feel about content creation, the only conclusion I'm able to draw from saying I don't care about feedback is to never post anything at all. I can't be "good" in a bubble. There's nothing to be learned, or understood, or measured if I am the only audience for myself. I write and share stories to express ideas to others because I genuinely think I have something to offer other people. Sure, it's often an appeal to sexuality or ridiculous levels of heightened emotion for the sake of titillation, but there's a lot of evidence of just how valuable people deem content like that. If somebody is willing to read a 20k+ word fic, I would like to know why. What I was whining about more than anything was a lack of interaction rather than traction. I don't expect to be wildly popular with reader insert, but it irks me that people would be more willing to demand I post more content (such as with the HxH stuff) than they would to show their appreciation for content I've already put up and they've consumed. Now that I'm not in that state of mind, I can acknowledge that this was a childish view to take that could very well not even be true on top of weird framing of holding my fics hostage for the sake of attention.

Anyway, I'm sorry that was an objectively bad take and I'll blame being sad and tired. I truly thank everybody who has responded kindly and with a reminder to focus on what actually matters (degeneracy and thirsting). I apologize again for putting people in that position it was pretty lame of me.

[hismercytomyjustice]

Jesus Christ writing dance scenes is fucking HARD. I’m pretty happy with how they’re turning out but SWEET WOUNDED JESUS I am not a dancer and I know fuck all about it.

…god the amount of fucking research I have yet again done for a crack fic…

I say this like I should even be remotely surprised at this point. That train left the fucking station so fast it’s like it was never even in it.

Fucking hours and hours and hours of research.

And the worst part? I HAVE LOVED EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF IT.

One of the things I love most about researching (aside from having an excuse to seek out and hoard absolutely fucking pointless information) is that it always gives me so many fucking ideas that I then get to try to weave in.

I will be SO SAD when the research for this fic comes to an end. It has been SUCH A JOY.

That is until I fucking start on the even crack-ier part three.

Because I’ve already decided I’m writing more shit that is WILDLY self-indulgent and ~nobody~ can fucking stop me!!!! Write the stupid crack you wanna see in the world amirite?

Fuck I have the absolute STUPIDEST idea for a plot and scene for part three and that alone is driving me to keep going. I just need to finish part two so I can be FREE. I am SO CLOSE to being finished. I really hope I finally finish it tomorrow.

Honestly idk what people are gonna think of it. It’s my first attempt at writing from Alastor’s POV and I’m also doing some shit I’ve never done before that idk how people will respond to it. BUT NOTHING VENTURED NOTHING GAINED. And I’m so proud of it and tbh that’s all that really matters, isn’t it?

…I still also gotta finish writing my BG3 fic to…BUT I have a few weeks of buffer on that so…. I’m feeling the urge to throw some more words down on it too, so hopefully I’ll be able to wrap it up soon. It is so fucking close to being done. Maybe another 15k-20k words. I can knock that out pretty quick if I get in the zone. And I already have it planned out. Jesus Christ is it gonna wind up being 100k??? SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM MYSELF.

Fucking hell it has hit 90 subs tho and that is such a wild fucking number and it just blows me the fuck away. Like 90 people like this fic enough to want updates as it comes out?! FUCKING FOR REAL?! There are N I N E T Y people out there who were like “ooh yeah I wanna keep reading this” and it’s something I wrote (?!) and if I think about it too much I get a little panicky but I am also so fucking grateful and humbled that my silly story has pulled in so many people and I feel so fucking #blessed about it all.

(ಥ﹏ಥ) I keep half expecting to check my stats and see everyone has come to their senses and unsubscribed, but it hasn’t happened yet and the number keeps going up and omg omg omg!!! It is UNREAL and SO FUCKING AMAZING!

God I still cannot believe how much fucking fun I’m having writing again after becoming pretty much convinced I might never be able to feel that way again. I was so scared that spark in me had finally fucking died or something and I was so depressed about it. BUT IT DIDN’T! It feels like a fucking dream. I love it so much. I have wanted to feel this way again about writing for so fucking long and it’s finally back and I’m terrified I’ll lose the excitement again but I’m really hoping I can stave off my OCD and keep going. I really don’t want to lose it again. I just want to keep writing and enjoying it whether it’s fanfic or original stuff or otherwise.

GOD I FUCKING MISSED WRITING SO FUCKING MUCH.

I know I am being WILDLY fucking obnoxious and annoying about it and my OCD keeps telling me to SHUT THE FUCK UP about it because I am probably driving people nuts, making everyone on the face of the planet hate me, etc etc etc. But that’s why I gush so much on here about it because I figure no one has to fucking read this shit unless they for some unknown reason actually would want to and people can mute and unfollow and block me if they are at their wits end but I hope putting most of my unhinged ramblings under cuts makes it so I’m only like 50% ridiculously obnoxious instead of 100% but who fucking knows. I would not blame a soul for getting sick of seeing my username popping up on their dash when I am in a hardcore rambling or reblogging mood.

I am just so fucking incandescently happy about it all and I am trying SO HARD not to drive the people in my life insane by talking about how excited I am to be writing again nonstop so I’m just talking to myself nonstop on here instead and just letting myself fucking enjoy the process and the excitement I have around it all. And god I KNOW I AM BEING SO FUCKING OBNOXIOUS despite everything but my therapist has also been encouraging me to just feel my feelings without judgment so… FEELINGS. They are being felt! Hopefully only 50% obnoxiously for any innocent bystanders.

Idk why it is so much easier to journal regularly on tumblr than on Penzu or elsewhere but it is and it’s working for me and if it makes everyone on the face of the planet block my annoying ass, so be it. I already spend too much of my fucking life second guessing every single thing I say or do and I’m gonna take my cringe wins where I fucking can. And I feel less self-conscious and annoying yelling into the void of tumblr, SO HERE WE ARE.

Fffffuck you OCD! (ง •̀_•́)ง I will also take my little mental illness wins where I fucking can, goddammit!!! And idk why venting about it on tumblr helps so much but it fucking does so. VENT I SHALL.

[pebletz]

Short Oneshot South Park fic (TW’s down below before reading)

Hellu friends! I was just sort of lying in bed when this story idea came to mind. While yes, I do love my romance, every once in a while I’m here for the sweet sweet angst/slight mix of horror. I also barely write fanfics but can think of scripts of dialogue for some reason? So that’s the format of this story… oops. Also, the characters can be read as either platonic or romantic, though honestly you shouldn’t be thinking about either for this one, folks.

This is a south park Stan and Kyle short one-shot script dialogue thingy ma jig, and I give you my love right now because in all seriousness, this contains a very dark topic. If you are uncomfortable with what is in the trigger warnings I give below, by all means, DO NOT READ PAST THE MORE LINE. It made me feel a slight panic in my chest just writing this, and I really would hate to have someone go through some dark traumatic memories again. So last warning, it’s about to get real dark, and very uncomfortable.

To the people who are going to read this, I wish you luck, not only for the gruesome topics at hand but also for dealing with my weird mix of both fanfic and theater script dialogue format. I’m also writing this sort of late at night, so if I made some mistakes uh… I’m very sorry. Anyways, this won’t be long, promise.

Stay safe everyone, I love you, and everything will be okay. You got this. Always be sure to ask for help when you need it. <3

-Guppie

TW/ S*icide mentions, graphic g*re mentions, possible derealization(?), anxiety, depression, eyes(?), panic attacks, hyperventilating, mentions of drugs, and finally a weird ass Omori ref I added in for no reason other than I thought it fit .-.

Speechless

Stan: Have you ever thought of killing yourself?

Kyle: …I’m sorry?

Stan: You know, offing yourself. Grab a rope, buy a gun, the end.

Kyle: … *smirks, he thinks it’s a joke* Ah yes, of course. However, I really cannot decide my fate, Stanley. Which method would best accommodate my attitude? *he chuckled*

Stan: *smiles, but it’s forced and dry. Kyle feels like he hears his lips crack.* I’m being serious.

Kyle: *giggles more, and then it slows* …why would you even ask me that?

Stan: *he brushes some of his stray hair back with his hand* You seem different. I can see it in your eyes, the way you smile. God- you’re smoking a pack of cigarettes right next to me on the rooftop of Randy’s barn. You have the biggest eye-bags I’ve ever seen on you.

Kyle: *looks away, suddenly feeling sweat under his collar* “You sure that’s not just because of finals?”

Stan: You haven’t cared about anything this year.

Kyle: …. Stan, if I’m being honest, I- … *he sees Stan’s sad smile and he gulps* I can’t say I’ve been feeling much better than that to be honest..

Stan: … *he takes a hit from his own cigar, eyes dead to the world. That once beautiful sky blue Kyle used to see were now pale in comparison, Stans eyes looked like the mariana trench now. Black. Empty. Devoid of all hope. It’s then his shoulders perk up, but only slightly. He has an idea, Kyle bets.* Let’s do it together, then.

Kyle: *his breath hitches, and suddenly he feels like he’s being pressed into the ground by a boulder* …what..?

Stan: I’m serious. I can figure it out for the both of us and we can just- end it. Together. Like always.

Kyle: …Stan I don’t think we are on the same page here-

Stan: Kyle, I have wanted nothing more than to eliminate my very existence since I was only ten years old. You get how that feels, right?

Kyle: …I-

Stan: whether you are coming with me or not, I’m not going to be here very long. I know it.

Kyle: *he’s full-on sweating now, shaking, panicking* Stan, please- I don’t think this is-

Stan: Kyle.

Kyle: Stan- please let me just-

Stan: Kyle. *he grabs Kyle’s hand, Kyle reflexes and tries to pull his hand back, but Stan doesn’t let him. He puts Kyle’s hand against his own chest.* Do you feel this? This pounding?

Kyle: *he’s breathing heavily, quickly.. it’s getting hard to breathe*

Stan: … Kyle, this- this pounding- it’s all around me now. It’s in my head- it’s- I can feel the ground b r e a t h i n g beneath me. Do you feel it too? Because fuck- Kyle- I need it gone. It’s like the world knows what’s gonna happen. It’s screaming for it. It hurts- it fucking hurts too much. I want to tear out my own organs. Isn’t that just sad? Is that a cynical thing? To want to wipe off every last trace of my existence? Is god a sadist, or am I a masochist? Does he want my blood oozing out, or is that just what they want? All I see nowadays are eyes, Kyle. Like people are watching me- waiting-

Waiting for something to happen?

I can’t take it anymore. Please Kyle- save me- help me…

Kyle: I- you- Stan- *he’s hyperventilating now, vision fuzzy. What’s happening!?* I can’t- bre a th-

Stan: ..Kyle? Kyle!?

Kyle: *everything grows dark as he falls, but Kyle still feels like he’s not alone. He feels the weight of the world crawling on his shoulders. His chest hurts. He looks around, but there’s only silence. What is he doing? Is he going to stop falling? When is he going to hit the ground with a loud crunch?*

…

……

He’s waiting for his end too.

[drabbles-mc]

Better Than Him

Angel Reyes x F!Reader

Summary: When your boyfriend bails last-minute on yet another date night, you call the first person you can think of to commiserate with.

Warnings: 18+, smut, cheating, language, alcohol

Word Count: 6.7k (oops)

A/N: Don't ask me how I ended up writing almost 7k of debauchery and filth for Angel. I don't know. I drank some wine and this happened. I feel like it should go without saying, but I'll still say it: don't cheat on your partners, y'all. It's only okay and sexy for fictional people to do. 😂😌

Angel Reyes Taglist: @buckybarneshairpullingkink @lilacyennefer @bport76 @rosieposie0624 @queenbeered @littlekittymeow @thesandbeneathmytoes @meadowofsinfulthoughts @garbinge @kelpies-shed @beardburnsupersoldiers @louisianalady @gemini0410 @frattsparty @chibsytelford @yourwonkywriter @amorestevens @enjoy-the-destruction @withmyteeth @winchestershiresauce @nessamc @narcolini @mijagif @choochoo284 @fanfic-n-tabulous @artemiseamoon @justazzi (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)

You were laying on your couch in the living room, slouched down so far that you knew it was going to give you neck issues if you stayed in that position for too much longer. Your chin was tucked against your chest by default. The television was playing in the background, the same sitcom on that you’d watched front to back more times than you could count. You weren’t even really listening to it, though. It was just white noise.

Your phone was propped up against your chest, the picture of you and your boyfriend on your home screen doing nothing but mocking you at this point. You exhaled a deep, exasperated sigh as your finger hovered over the Messages app at the bottom of your screen. It was a stupid idea, but you still opened the app. Nothing good was gonna come of it, but you still scrolled down to your text message conversation with Angel.

The last exchange between the two of you had been him inviting you to the clubhouse, and you politely blowing him off because you were going to have date night with your boyfriend. But now your boyfriend was out doing god knows what and you were lying on your couch, all dressed up with no place to go. Your heels mocked you from the floor, same with the hem of your skirt sliding farther up your leg as you crossed and uncrossed them. All the effort and for what?

Despite knowing better, you hit the call button at the top of the screen. You hit speaker on the first ring, not wanting to even put the effort forth at this point to lift and hold the phone to your ear. Sad, sure. Borderline pathetic, maybe. But you weren’t given the time to spiral into your thoughts about it too much.

“You change your mind about the party?” Not even a greeting. Just loud background conversations and Angel getting straight to the point.

“No,” you replied in the loudest mumble you could manage.

“Wait, where are you? Why…why are you calling me?”

“Because I’m bored.”

The noise on the other end of the line decreased drastically, and you could only imagine that it was because Angel stepped outside to finish the phone call. “Thought tonight was date night or whatever?”

“It was.” You hated how bummed you sounded about it.

“Oh, fuck.” He sighed and you could picture the look on his face. “He, god, he fuckin’ bail? Again?”

You groaned. “The again was not needed, Angel.”

“Neither is all his bullshit.” He paused for a beat. “C’mon, dulce, I’ve been tellin’ you for a minute that you don’t need this dude.”

“I don’t wanna hear it,” you argued, but there was no real anger in your voice. Even saying you were annoyed with him was an overreach. You knew he was right.

“What do you wanna hear then, hm?” His voice was right back to its usual slick, flirtatious tone.

You rolled your eyes and tried to ignore how much you enjoyed listening to him talk to you like that. You dragged your hand down your face, knowing that this was your last chance to be smart and get out of the conversation unscathed. But you were sick of being the smart one.

“You wanna come over?”

He laughed. “You want me to leave a party to go come and watch you mope about your shitty boyfriend?”

It got you to smile. “Yea.”

He let out another laugh and you couldn’t help but to picture the way that he was probably shaking his head, looking up at the sky knowing that he was going to say yes but he didn’t want to give you an easy time about it. He never wanted to give you an easy time about anything.

He sucked his teeth. “Fine. Be there in twenty.”

“This is why they call you Angel.”

He chuckled. “Shut up.” He paused. “I’ll see you soon.”

It wasn’t quite enough to pull you up from the inhuman angle you were laying at on the couch, but you did feel a little better knowing that you weren’t going to be spending the whole night by yourself anymore. “See you soon.”

You hadn’t moved a single inch by the time that you heard his motorcycle pulling up outside your apartment. The only thing that had changed was that now your phone was discarded on your coffee table instead of resting against your chest. You turned your head to look at the door but you made no move to get up and greet him.

The door was only halfway open, Angel wasn’t even inside the door yet and you called over, “That took longer than twenty minutes!”

Without missing a beat he pelted a bag of Sour Patch Kids at you, the candy landing just below where your chin was tucked. “Wasn’t gonna try and bring ice cream on the bike. Settled for the next best thing.” He kicked off his boots once he shut and locked your door. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

“Ice cream doesn’t sound terrible,” you said with a chuckle. You lifted one foot and gestured towards your kitchen. “There’s some in the freezer if you want it.”

Angel rolled his eyes as he walked over, standing alongside the couch right next to you. You looked up at him, his presence more towering than usual as your laid down while he stood. He watched as you tore the corner off the package of your candy.

“You’re not even moping right,” he joked as he reached and pushed on your one knee so it knocked into the other. Neither of you made a comment about the face that it made the hem of your skirt slip up a little higher, but you noticed the way his eyes lingered a beat longer. “Supposed to be curled up in sweatpants and shit after a breakup, aren’t you?”

You tilted your head up to look at him more directly, your chin finally lifting off its resting place on your chest. “Breakup?”

“Yea. You,” he paused , brows coming together, “you broke up with him, right?” Your silence spoke volumes and he couldn’t do anything besides huff and roll his eyes at you. “Come on, you’re fuckin’ kidding me, right?”

“What?” You only sounded defensive because you knew that he was probably about to be right with whatever he was going to say.

“How many times does this guy have to blow you off and treat you like shit before you finally kick him to the curb?”

“Don’t be dramatic,” you said with a shake of your head, not able to look him in the eyes as you ate one of the candies and set the package on the table next to your phone.

“Don’t be stupid,” he retorted.

“Angel!”

“What!” He held his hands out like he was begging you to get up and try something. “How else would you describe it? You’ve,” he scoffed, “you’ve called me stupid for way less.”

“Yea, but I never mean it.”

“Because I’m never being this stupid,” he shot back with a smirk.

Despite your frustration, you found yourself biting back a smile as you rolled your eyes at him. You knew he was right. You should’ve left your boyfriend a long time ago. Consistency with something that wasn’t great felt safer than not having any consistency at all, though.

“Since when are you giving out relationship advice?”

He shrugged with a laugh. “I’m not. I’m givin’ out breakup advice. Dump his ass.”

It got both of you to laugh. For a brief moment, it almost looked like Angel was about to say something else. Instead, though, he turned and headed for your kitchen to grab himself a beer, shedding his kutte along the way. You said sure when he asked if you wanted one too. Even with the television on, you could hear the clattering of the bottlecaps on the countertop. When you heard the slight scraping of the bottles being picked up, clinking against the rings on Angel’s fingers, you finally pushed yourself into a more upright position. You were still somewhat slouched back against the arm of the sofa, but you were at least at a more appropriate angle so you wouldn’t get a permanent kink in your neck.

“Here.” Angel faked like he was going to toss the open bottle to you. You knew that he wouldn’t, but you still flinched to reach and grab it just in case. You hated the laugh that it got out of him, but really you loved it. With one hand free, he tapped your knee lightly. “Quit hogging the couch.”

“It’s my couch, you know,” you said as you pulled your legs in a little closer to you, granting him the space to sit.

“Yea, and you invited me over. So now you gotta share.” He plopped down unceremoniously, immediately putting his feet up on your coffee table.

You were both tuned into the show playing on the television for a couple minutes before you asked, “How was the party?”

He looked over at you, eyebrows raised. “Could’ve shown up and found out for yourself.”

“I didn’t wanna see people,” you said before taking a sip of your beer.

“Oh? And what am I, then?’ he asked with a laugh.

“You’re Angel,” you replied with no hesitation.

He rolled his eyes but there was no denying the grin that was creeping across his face. “Shut up. Don’t gotta sweet-talk me. I’m already here.”

You both chuckled before falling back into comfortable silence. Part of you felt like you should be saying something more. After all, you did ask him to bail on the clubhouse party to come and hang out with you. But it was so comfortable with him like this. Something about knowing that he would turn his back on something like that just so he could show up and do nothing with you helped soothe your bruised ego. Your boyfriend couldn’t manage to show up for date night, but Angel could bail on an entire room full of his MC brothers and girls who would give just about anything to take him home just so he could show up and watch cheesy sitcoms with you. It stung but at the same time it felt good. You knew that that was all you really needed to know about how you should be handling your relationship, but you didn’t want to think about that. That problem would still be there tomorrow. You’d deal with it then.

In between episodes, you leaned over so you could set your beer bottle on the coffee table. As you settled back into the couch, you stretched your legs out again. You draped them across Angel’s lap, not commenting on the action as you did so. Your eyes were trained on the television, but in your peripheral you could see the way that Angel was looking at you. His eyes slowly raked up the exposed skin of your legs, along the rest of your body until he was looking at your face. He watched you for a minute, and you thought that maybe he was going to make a joke, or push your legs off him. But he didn’t.

He leaned so that he had one elbow propped against the arm of the couch, still holding his nearly-empty bottle of beer in that hand. Without looking back over at you, he brought his other hand to rest against your shin. The metal of his rings felt cool against your skin, and you flinched slightly, but you didn’t pull away or say anything to him. He felt the twitch, and rather than pulling away, he wrapped is fingers a little tighter. It wasn’t a tight grip, but it was enough to keep you from pulling away as the warmth from your skin made the metal of his rings more tolerable.

“What were you supposed to be doing tonight, anyway?” Angel asked you out of nowhere.

“Hm?” You pried your eyes away from the television screen to look at him.

“For date night. What were you guys gonna do?”

If someone else had been asking, you would assume that they were just going to rub salt in the wound. And maybe you would’ve thought the same of Angel too, because he could get like that sometimes, but there was something about the pensive look on his face that let you know that that wasn’t the case.

You shrugged as you rested your hands on your stomach. “Nothing crazy. Just dinner and then going somewhere for dancing and drinks.” You paused. “Why?”

He shrugged. “No reason.”

You rolled your eyes with a smile. Nudging his leg lightly with your foot, you said, “Nosey.”

He laughed but didn’t argue because he knew that you were right. “Can he even dance?”

“Can you?” you shot back with a curious look.

“Pfft,” he laughed, “like I’m ever gonna give you that kind of ammunition.”

You let out a hum of amusement before the conversation died off again. The controlled chaos of the TV show playing in the background was the only noise in the entirety of your apartment. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for Angel to be over at your place, for it to just be the two of you. So you wondered why this time you felt like it was the first time the two of you had ever existed in a space alone together. His hand that was steadily creeping up your leg was probably a large part of the root cause, but you couldn’t afford to think about it too much. Give it too much of your mental real estate and you were going to combust.

He didn’t say anything as his fingers began to work in methodical little circles against the muscle of your leg. Never in a million years would you have guessed that Angel was the kind of guy who would voluntarily give a girl a massage, let alone be good at it, but you instantly felt more relaxed as your legs untensed against him. You made a conscious effort to ignore the other feelings bubbling in your chest as he slowly but surely worked his fingers higher up your leg. He wasn’t looking at you, so you weren’t going to look at him. Maybe if it stayed like that, you would be able to keep yourself under control.

His fingers worked through a knot at the top of your calf, and the soft moan that slipped out past your lips was completely involuntary. You immediately froze, not turning to look at him, not saying anything about the sound you’d just made. You were waiting for Angel to say something, make some slick comment, a sexual joke of some kind, but he didn’t. His fingers didn’t stop moving, though, creeping up over your knee and onto your thigh.

You didn’t know how many seconds had passed before you finally decided that it was as safe to look at him as it was ever going to be. You slowly turned your head, your eyes searching for his. You thought that he was already going to be looking at you, waiting to say something. But when you were finally looking at him head-on, his eyes didn’t meet yours. Instead, his gaze was locked onto your legs, eyes slowly raking up the exposed skin, zeroing in like he was trying to see past the fabric of your skirt. It should’ve made you uneasy, should’ve made you want to tell him to get the fuck out of your apartment, but it didn’t.

Taking a slow, deep breath, you forced your body to relax again. The tension started to ebb away, allowing you to melt back into the couch cushions and against Angel. And, if your legs parted a little farther in the process, where was the harm in that.

Even with the television playing in the background, you heard the sharp inhale that he took, his eyes still completely zeroed in on your legs. You found yourself gnawing lightly at your bottom lip, just watching him, studying his reactions to it all. You knew that you definitely shouldn’t have been getting so much enjoyment out of it, but it was too late now.

“You good, Angel?” you asked as you watched his tongue dart across his bottom lip.

He cleared his throat as he nodded, finally dragging his eyes away from your legs so that he was looking at your face. “I’m good.” He paused. “You good?”

You nodded, a satisfied smile creeping across your face before you could stop it. “I’m good.”

There was a long pause, each of you waiting for the other to say something, do something. It felt like a game of chicken but you weren’t quite sure what you were waiting for more, for him to push it farther or for him to pull away completely. Usually you could read him without much of an issue, but this time you really didn’t know what his next move was going to be, if there was going to be one at all.

Then he lifted your legs just slightly. You froze, hating the fact that you were worried that he was going to stand up and leave. You would have no right to ask him to stay, to do any of the things that were currently running through your head. You had a boyfriend for that, supposedly. But he wasn’t here. Angel was.

He didn’t get up to leave, though. Instead, he slid down a little closer to you on the couch before draping your legs over his again. You were smiling before you even knew what you were doing. His hands rested easily on your knees, fingers pressing against you lightly for a moment before sliding up onto your thighs. He applied the same pressure he had before, still not saying anything more as he kept traveling slowly further and further towards the raised hem of your skirt.

When he finally reached it, your breath got caught in your throat as you waited to see what he was going to do next. He toyed with the hem of it, sliding the smooth, black fabric between his fingers. You were expecting him to slide his hands completely underneath it, for him to push it the rest of the way up your thighs. You were still holding your breath in anticipation, studying even the slightest shifts in his expression.

So imagine your disappointment when he tugged it down, letting it rest back in its rightful place covering up the majority of your thighs. You felt a little sick to your stomach over the fact that you were disappointed by that at all, but it was too late to take the feeling back now. He didn’t take his hands off of you at least, eyes still traveling up and down your body like he was trying to put together the pieces of a puzzle.

“Angel?”

His eyes snapped up to yours. “Yea?”

“Can you keep doing that?” you asked, your tone innocent enough. “Feels good.”

He swallowed hard, seeming shaken for the first time all night. But he nodded, a wordless agreement as he let his fingers press firmly, purposefully against the skin and muscles of your thighs. Your eyes drifted shut, soaking up the sensation, letting yourself get lost in the thoughts that you most definitely shouldn’t have been having. The disappointment of your canceled date night was the furthest thing from your mind now.

You didn’t even flinch when he pushed your skirt back up. Whatever shred of decency he’d been trying to have was tossed out the window the second you asked him to keep touching you like that. He didn’t know why he was tempting fate the way he was but he was too invested now to back down.

You felt him shifting on the couch, but your brain was too deep in other thoughts to really think about what it meant. You vaguely registered the fact that he was closer to you now, able to feel the denim of his jeans against the backs of your thighs. Your eyes were still closed, unable to see the way that he was looking at you like a starved animal who had managed to find itself a good meal. His teeth were digging into his bottom lip as he tried to exercise a little self-restraint. There was so much that he wanted to say to you, do to you, but with every passing second it all felt like it was turning more and more into a sick joke.

He inhaled slowly through his nose, gearing himself up for whatever your reaction was going to be to what he did next. You’d either let him, or he was going to get caught across the cheek with a mean right hand. At this point, he was willing to take the risk because his heart was pounding inside his chest and he couldn’t walk away without knowing.

His hands slipped underneath your skirt, ghosting over the tops of your thighs. You gasped when you felt the tips of his fingers brushing against the lace of your panties, right at the juncture where your legs met your hips. That’s what got you to finally open your eyes. You lifted your head off the arm of the couch, your mouth slightly open as you looked at Angel. You could see the deep rise and fall of his chest, and he could see the way yours was doing the same.

“I can stop,” his voice had a tone that you’d never heard before and it sent a wave of shivers over your body. When you didn’t say anything in response, didn’t make any type of move to encourage or discourage him, he said, “You want me to?”

You shook your head, your voice coming out small in a way you hadn’t intended it to. “No. Don’t…don’t stop.”

With what seemed like an effortless motion, he shifted so that he was kneeling, facing you slotted between your legs. Spreading his hands over your thighs, he pulled you down so your back laid flat against the couch cushions. He pushed your skirt up, exposing your thighs and panties in the same movement. He heard the shuddered breath you let out as his hands continued to run up and down your thighs, studying you as he tried to figure out what his next move was going to be.

“What’re we doin’ here, mi dulce?” he asked, his voice low.

Your heart was about to burst out of your chest, legs already on the brink of shaking when he hadn’t even really touched you yet. “Whatever you want.”

He licked his bottom lip. “You mean that?”

You managed a nod even though your brain was completely muddled with the possibilities of what Angel wanted to do to you. “I do.”

“This,” he said slowly as his hands crept back towards your hips, “is a bad idea.”

“I know,” you admitted. “I don’t care.”

He huffed out a quiet laugh, not needing anymore encouragement from you as he looped his fingers into the waistband of your underwear and started to pull them down your legs. You lifted your feet off the couch cushion, anything to make it easier for him to get them off of you faster. You were expecting him to toss them aside, but instead he tucked them into the back pocket of his jeans. Later, tomorrow, next week, whenever he thought back on whatever this was about to turn into and he was sure it was a dream, he’d have proof that it wasn’t.

Then his hands quickly ran up your shins and thighs again. This time he moved the rest of his body so that he was hovering over you, your legs loosely draping themselves around him as he set one hand on the arm of the sofa, bracing himself above you. His pupils were blown out like you’d never seen them before as his other hand gripped tighter onto your thigh.

“You’re fuckin’ beautiful,” he rasped out.

It was the closest you ever got to having an orgasm just from the sound of someone’s voice. You whispered a soft, embarrassingly needy, “Fuck,” as you kept your eyes locked on his.

His hand crept from your thigh until it landed in between your legs. You gasped, biting back a whine as he trailed his fingers along your folds with a featherlight touch. Enough for you to feel him there, but not enough to get what you really wanted.

A smirk painted over his features as he applied just a little more pressure. “If you’re this wet already,” he leaned down so that his lips were right next to your ear, “I don’t know if you can really handle me, querida. I haven’t even started yet.”

The moan that came out of you wasn’t planned, but you couldn’t stop it. Your eyes fluttered for a second as his words washed over you but finally you were able to focus on him again. “Let me try.”

The smile on his face was sinful as he leaned down, attaching his lips to yours. Your hands immediately interlocked against the back of his neck, not allowing him the opportunity to pull away now that you had him. You’d thought about what it would be like to kiss Angel more than you cared to admit. It wasn’t something you were exactly proud of, but given the situation you’d put yourself in now, thoughts were the least of your worries.

He tasted like the beer he’d taken from your fridge, like the cigarette he’d probably smoked at the clubhouse before leaving to come and see you. His tongue moving against yours felt like heaven. His teeth nipped at your bottom lip as your fingers slid up and into the short hair above the nape of his neck.

While he was pulling the air from your lungs with the way he was kissing you, his fingers slid up and down your folds, slicking themselves with your wetness and teasing you for just another moment longer before he slowly slid them into you. The moan you let out was something out of Angel’s wildest, wettest dreams. He swallowed the sound eagerly as you kept your lips pressed to his.

You pulled your lips off his only so that you could say his name. It came out like a pant as you pulled him closer to you, moaning quietly into the crook of his neck. His fingers continued to work you over, rendering you an absolute mess as you clawed at his back through the fabric of his shirt.

“How’s that feel?” he murmured against your ear.

You forced your brain to work well enough to string together the words, “So fucking good.”

“How good?” He kissed right below your ear. “Better than him?”

“Angel,” your voice was somewhere between a plea and a warning.

You felt the slight vibration, the hum of his quiet laughter. “You can tell me.”

You gasped as he sped up his rhythm. “Fuck, Angel.”

“C’mon, dulce,” he coaxed, “tell me.” When you didn’t say anything, he stilled his movements, smirking at the whine you let out. “If I’m not doin’ a better job, I can just stop.”

“Don’t stop,” you begged. “You feel s—” your words faltered as he started to move again, “so fucking good.”

He kissed you hard on the lips, his mouth moving hungrily against yours in a vain attempt to distract you from the fact that he was slipping his fingers out of you. You whined against his mouth and the quick laugh he let out would’ve felt insulting if it wasn’t immediately followed by the sound of him unbuckling his jeans.

He pulled away from you, planting his feet back onto the floor just long enough to drop his jeans and boxers to the floor. You were sitting part of the way up, propping yourself on your forearms as you watched him. He was stepping out of the denim that was now in a pile at his feet when he saw you. He chuckled, shaking his head at you as he crawled back on top of you.

“Like what you see?” he asked as he pulled your legs back around his waist.

You hummed in agreement as you slid your hands up his side, your fingers easily finding their way under the ribbed fabric of his tank top. “I’d like it better if I could feel it.”

He let out a breathless laugh as he dropped his face into the crook of your neck. “You’re somethin’ else.”

“You love it,” you mumbled as you tightened your legs around him, desperate to pull him closer and into you.

“Yea,” he moaned as he finally gave in sliding into you, “I really fucking do.”

Whatever you were hoping to say, to taunt him with, instantly fell by the wayside once he was inside of you. There wasn’t a single word or coherent thought in your brain as you wound yourself as tightly around him as you could. Your legs squeezed him tighter, your arms reaching across his back so your nails could dig into him, leaving irrefutable evidence for him to look at the next day.

If you thought that the feeling of him kissing you made your head spin, this was about to send you into the next dimension. You always thought it was so cheesy when people said that it felt like someone was made just for them, but as Angel fought to thrust slowly, to make sure this lasted as long as it could, you couldn’t help but to feel like he really might’ve actually been made for you.

Your eyes were closed, just soaking up the feeling of him on top of you, inside of you, his lips and tongue trailing over your neck. If it had been possible, you would’ve dissolved right into him because of how good it all felt. The moans and whimpers he pulled out of you were ungodly, and they only served to spur him on even more.

Then you felt his teeth graze against the soft, sensitive skin of your neck. He didn’t bite down hard, so you let it go without comment, not wanting to interrupt the moment of bliss you were having if you could help it. He thrust into you harder, the moan you let out making your throat vibrate against his lips. He bit down a little harder, almost starting to suck a dark mark into the side of your neck when you pulled one hand from his back so you could plant it on his chest and push him away. Your body tried to fight you on it, but somehow you managed to win against yourself, putting just enough distance between you so that you could pull his lips back to yours.

“Angel,” you kissed him, “don’t.”

“Don’t what?” he pulled his lips away from yours and latched them back onto your neck. It felt like heaven but you knew it was going to be more trouble than it was worth if you didn’t stop him.

“Don’t, don’t leave any,” you stuttered for a moment when he changed his pace—it was almost a successful distraction, “No marks.”

You felt him chuckle against the column of your throat, the ticklish sensation of his beard against your skin. “Why not?” He kissed you. “Don’t want him knowing that someone else out there is giving you what he can’t?”

Trying to get him to show any self-control felt criminal, and also futile. “Yea, something like that.”

“No fun,” he murmured against you.

You had to laugh at that. “Really?” You carded your fingers through his hair as he pushed his hips to meet yours. “’Cause it feels like you’re having plenty of fun.”

Cupping his jaw, you pulled him back up to you and pulled his bottom lip between your teeth. Before your eyes fluttered closed, you saw the way that he relaxed, melting against you as his hands slid down to grip onto your hips. He held you steady as you continued to kiss him, and you could feel yourself teetering on the edge. He must’ve felt it, too, because he quickly caught your wrists in his hands, pinning them back against the arm of the couch.

The second he pulled his lips off of yours, your phone started to vibrate against the top of the coffee table. You both stilled, Angel leaning to look over and see who was calling. He chuckled as he looked back down at you. “I can answer it, if you want.”

“Don’t,” you sounded so breathless, “Don’t you dare.”

“You don’t want him hearin’ this?” he asked as he moved his hips, pulling another moan out of you.

You shook your head in protest but you couldn’t force anymore words out. Relief coursed through you when Angel dropped his head back down, kissing you hard on the lips before moving back to your next. You knew what he was going to do now that you weren’t going to be able to stop him. At this point you didn’t even care. The moan that came out of you when he sunk his teeth into your neck again let him know that you had no real intention of making him stop. You called out his name as you came undone around him, your legs tightening for a moment before going lax, only staying looped around his waist because of how close he had himself pinned to you.

He ran his tongue over the spot on your neck where his teeth had just been, like he was trying to soothe over the sting. It was the furthest thing from your mind, though, as you slowly started to come down from your high. You felt dizzy from it all as his forehead dropped against your shoulder. All of your limbs felt like they were made of jelly as you laid there, stars behind your eyes as Angel eagerly thrust into you. His grip around your wrists tightened, almost bruising as his movements got more intense.

The reality of everything that was happening burst to the forefront of your mind, and it should’ve made you feel badly, but it didn’t. Instead, it sent a second wave of bliss over your body as you wriggled your hands out of his grasp, immediately pulling his lips to yours. He didn’t fight you on it, pushing his tongue into your mouth, moaning as he came inside of you.

He collapsed on top of you, and you could feel the racing beat of his heart as his chest laid pinned to yours. He buried his face in the crook of your neck as he tried to catch his breath. His hands wandered slowly back down to your legs, running over them, pulling warmth from them as they stayed wound around his hips. You let out a hum of contentment as he placed a few lazy kisses to your neck and what he could reach of your shoulder. If you could’ve, you would’ve laid like that all night.

After a few minutes, when both of you got your breathing and heartrates back under control, Angel slowly, carefully pulled out of you. You fought the impulse to whine, not wanting all of it to be over. But you knew that you had no right to be complaining about something being over when it shouldn’t have happened in the first place.

He placed a lazy string of kisses down your neck and over your clothed chest before getting himself to sit upright. He reached for his boxers on the floor, lifting his hips up off the couch just long enough to pull them on.

You pushed yourself up just enough to lean back against the arm of the couch. You crossed one leg over the other, pushing your skirt down a little bit like it made any fucking difference at this point.

“Hey,” you lifted your chin a little, waiting for him to look at you, “you good?”

He huffed out a laugh as he shook his head, reaching up to run his fingers through his hair. “I’m great.”

Your brain was still a little too muddled to be able to tell if he was being sarcastic or not. He couldn’t make it easy. “What’re you thinking right now?” You paused. “Are you mad?”

He chuckled, a smile starting to curl the ends of his lips as he replayed everything that had just happened. “Fuck no.” He looked over at you, studying your face for a moment before asking, “How messy is this gonna get?”

“What?”

He motioned back and forth between the two of you. “This. Was this a one-time thing? You gonna finally break up with this dude? What’s the deal?”

And just like that, you came crashing down from your high. You dropped your head back against the armrest, staring up at the ceiling as you thought about your answer to his question. “I don’t know.” You dragged your hands down your face. “I know how awful that is.”

“Look,” he reached over, resting one hand on your knee, drumming his fingers, “I don’t give a shit about this guy, or hurting his feelings.” He saw the way you laughed at that. “I don’t. He wants to fuck things up with you? I’ll let him.” He paused, a shit-eating smirk taking over his face as he said, “And I’ll keep fuckin’ you while he’s doing it.”

“Angel!” you chastised him with a laugh.

“I’m serious.” He leaned down, grabbing his jeans so he could start to pull those on too. “I don’t give a fuck about him. But I’ve been tellin’ you, you’re wasting your time.”

“So, what, you think I should just leave him and be with you?”

Angel shook his head. “I didn’t say that. I mean, you should,” he laughed, “but I didn’t say that. Him being a waste of your time has nothing to do with me.”

“Really?” You laughed. “This feels like it has a lot to do with you.”

“Yea, ‘cause I was inside you like, two fuckin’ minutes ago,” he said with a laugh. He stood up, pulling his jeans up and buckling his belt back into place. “You gotta make that choice. I’ll be here, no matter what you end up doing, but,” he raked his fingers back through his hair, “this is your mess to figure out.”

“Why’d you come over, then?”

He shrugged. “I like you. You knew that, though.”

Your voice was quieter than you thought it was going to be as you said, “I know.”

He was about to go grab his boots when he saw the look on your face. “Want me to stay?”

You thought about it for a long moment before finally shaking your head. “I’ll be good. You know, when my legs start working again.”

Angel laughed and shook his head as went to grab his kutte and put his boots back on. You watched him, unable to wipe the smile off your face, or shake the jittery feeling still coursing through your body. You knew that you should feel guilty, and maybe you would in the morning. Or maybe you wouldn’t. It was all a mistake but it certainly didn’t feel like one yet.

He walked back over, standing beside the sofa like he had when he first got to your house. “You sure you’re gonna be good if I go?”

You looked up at him and nodded. “I’ll be fine. Thanks for the company.”

He smirked. “If that’s what you wanna call it.”

You rolled your eyes but you could feel your face getting warm. “Goodnight, Angel.”

He laughed, leaning down and kissing you on the forehead. “Night.” He walked back to the door. He was halfway through it when he turned and looked back over his shoulder at you, a smile on his face as he said, “Don’t forget to cover up that hickey.”

You laughed, shaking your head at him as he pulled the door shut behind him. Once again it was just the noise of the television filling your apartment. Reaching up, you lightly pressed your fingers against where Angel’s mark was, already thinking of the best way to cover it up.

[lovee-infected]

Hello! Recently I've seen a lot of twst blogs arguing on how twst characters are mischaracterized, especially Malleus. So do you have any ideas on how he is mischaracterized? Also, is it okay to ask for your general opinion on questions like a short character analysis or how a healthy a relationship with each twdt guy might be? Hope it's okay to ask!

For your first question anon, it's a GREAT thing to ask and to be honest I've been waiting for a chance to talk about him! And for your second one, yes, of course! I just love writing character analyis and it's totally okay to ask for character/personality/relationship analysis here! I've got a lot to say about Malleus so this is going to a detailed analysis about his whole personality.

There are commonly two popular opinions on how Malleus is which divides the fandom into two groups:

Group A:

Those who consider him to be an absolutely soft, baby dragon who just wants to be invited and have a friend. They believe that Malleus needs more attention and can be quite affectionate at the time, he can also be sometimes idiotic toward simple stuff like working with a computer or trying to talk with others which makes him even more adorable. "Despite Malleus's harsh and emo appearance and terrifying powers, Malleus is just a small baby inside," is also a common belief of this group.

Group B:

Those who argue that group A is totally shading everything important about Malleus's personality and true self just because he looks cute and plays with a childish tamagotchi. These group also comes up with rather strong points about his personality such as his status as a crown prince, his naturally dark personality as not only a dark fae but also Maleficent's grandchild, his maturity and cold nature and also, the aspect of his hellish powers which can make him look like an absolute monster at the time.

I believe most of you are familiar with these points of view but the question is, which one of them is the real Malleus?

And the answer is: Neither of them; yet both of them do have a point.

The main problem is how the fandom portraits him as either an emotional tamagotchi baby or an absolutely cold and heartless mister of evil, while the true Malleus is far beyond than just being either good, or bad.

Now let's discuss some of the important facts and common mistakes about Malleus's personality:

(1) Malleus isn't a baby, but he isn't a monster either

This is supposedly the main idea here which will be continued to be discussed through the rest of this analysis. This is often how many end up mischaracterizing him because: the way the describe Malleus is either too dark or too childish. What we need here, is a balance. This is the grandson of one of the most important Disney villains that we are talking about, and don't forget that Maleficent herself was confirmed to consume the powers of Hell, as she was indeed the mistress of all evil. So this dragon boy here surely isn't one to underestimate, and he clearly has inherited that hellish power of her grandmother. It's obviously seen through the story as well, from the way he was presented in chapter 2 and beans day event to how terrified other students always are to even talk about him.

But the thing is, there are softer aspects of his personality as well which prove that Malleus isn't just designed to present an undefeatable force of evil, and this is exactly what makes his personality a lot more interesting.

(2) Malleus is actually hard to approach and talk to

Let's be honest, Malleus isn't as soft and easy to befriend as many fans consider him to be. He doesn't get too friendly or chill as he speaks, and even his close allies like Silver and Sebek fail to get close to him as much as they wish to. When we talk about his dark aura, we aren't just talking about his horns and fearsome magic, it's also because of his personality itself. His calm yet cold tone always remains still regardless of who he's talking to. No need to mention that he isn't an ordinary student either, he not only comes from a well-known family but is also the crown-prince of valley of thorns. Out of all twst characters Malleus is the only one who is directly connected to the great seven by being Maleficent's grandson. His family and people on the other hand are overly protective over him, to the point of not letting him to even have a fake proposal in the ghost marriage event which means that Malleus has also got each and every of his actions under watch.

(3) He's slowly getting used to isolating himself

In his ceremonial robes story, he's obviously upset that he never had a chance to wear his ceremonial robes because he never got invited, but when Lilia says he'd one day overcome his ill fate and gets to wear them as he always wanted to, he says that he's fine. Then again when Lilia tried to bring him to the singing test in chapter 5 he avoids showing up. In his voice lines he also said: "Are you as well scared of me?" which is clearly shouting that he's no longer surprised to see people being afraid of him, he's getting used to being feared and at some point, hated. That's probably one of the bitter sides of his personality which he's slowly giving up on trying to change it.

(4) Malleus has got a great confidence and isn't shy at all

There many fanfics in which Malleus is presented as a shy boy who's scared of confessing to his s/o or asking them out, while he's the total opposite in reality. Just like Maleficent herself, he speaks calmly and in a formal tone, is very respectful as he speaks, and isn't one to ever have problem while talking to others.

It's others who always avoid talking to him while Malleus himself isn't the least uncomfortable with presenting his ideas and asking others for help when he needs to.

He isn't ever shy over his lack of ability to work with machines or asking others for help for seemingly childish issues like having his tamagotchi fixed or finding a friend for the GaoGao dragon.

The only thing left is how Lilia described him as "Kind of shy" in chapter five, which is most likely because of another reason discussed in part (3)

(5) He doesn't eat ice cream and play with a tamagotchi for no reason

Malleus explained that everything is ran by magic back in the valley of thorns and no one really uses any machines there, that's how he's pretty new to both technology and complicated tools.

I believe that the tamagotchi part was given to him on purpose, because else than showing the fact that he's bad with tools, it's great contrast to the harsh picture that his power and personality gives him!

Admit it, it's a funny and somehow, adorable contrast to see one of the strongest magicians who can burn the room to ashes in just a matter pf second playing with a children's toy. And I believe that it was given to him on purpose. They meant to give him some soft and cute features as well instead of just presenting him as an evil fae. He is indeed evil and his powers are terrifying, and that's how watching him play with a tamagotchi is rather surprising to many. If you saw Ortho or Cheka playing with one it wouldn't have gone any further than a simple "Awww" or "How cute" because it's something you'd expect to see from a kid, but when you see Malleus of all people playing with it, you can't help but to fascinated and flustered over how cute this fae's habits can be.

Ice cream on the other hand doesn't really have to do with cuteness, it's something Yana Toboso discovered while doing her researches on fae mythology which discuses that Dark faes enjoy cold and sweet foods, especially cream. So it doesn't really have anything to do with him being either a soft or a cruel boy, it's just a normal part of his nature as a fae.

(6) He might be crazily old to humans, but he's still pretty young as a fae

This one has really been getting on my nerves, come on people! It's true that he's probably been living for decades and possibly, centuries but don't forget that it isn't that much compared to a normal fae! Even Sebek calls him 'Young master' which means that he's still a pretty young one, no need to mention that he hasn't yet became the king either so he's not much different from the rest of the students in NRC.

I've seen people saying: "No Malleus won't do that he's -too old-" and I've got to say: What?

Come on even someone like Lilia who's been living for over 5 centuries can act like a nasty 14 year old at the time, so for faes at least, age isn't a limitation.

Malleus on the other hand is still a teenage fae! He needs to discover new things and talk with more people, just like a normal human being does. So if he doesn't enjoy doing anything too silly or stupid, it's because of his 'personality', not because he's too old. Even when tells Lilia that he isn't a child anymore, it's like how an 18 year old says it to his father.

(7) Malleus won't take insult easily

He is polite and respectful in general, but when he's offended, he'd seriously respond to it. Remember that a single swipe of hand from him can set the whole room on fire.

Rook and Leona were probably one step away from being burnt and when Leona really got on Malleus's nerves by humiliating him, Malleus stopped respecting him as a prince of an ally kingdom and humiliated back.

He is calm but to a specific point, and you can make sure that he won't be any soft or forgiving if you offend him, and it'll probably end in no good if he gets mad. So better not think that Malleus is one to just keep it in and later cry in a room because he's sad baby when someone dares insult him.

(8) Angelina Jolie's Maleficent has nothing to do with his story!

Nope, Malleus never had a lover who cut off his wings and sent him to a hell of depression and loneliness, and no you cannot find those two wounds on his back regardless of how romantic it may seem.

I admit it, it's a lovely Au, but it's JUST AN AU! I can still see people saying stuff like "Ohh!! Will we discover if Malleus too had his wings cut off in chapter 7?" and the answer is NO. While Angelina Jolie's Maleficent is surely a great one on its own, it needs be understood that twst's source of main information and characters designs is nothing else than the original Disney villains.

Malleus cannot be associated with any Maleficents else than the version we saw in 1959's sleeping beauty and it's an important fact to look through.

(9) Malleus is NOT Maleficent!

While they are a lot more similar than you can imagine(in both power and personality), let's not forget that Malleus is NOT Maleficent! He's a total new character on his own, and is unique in his own way.

He is twisted from Maleficent which means that no matter how similar they are, Malleus is a new character with a new personality.

Saying that he isn't soft at all and the fandom will see his true face when he overblots ( It's supposed to mean that the real Malleus is an absolutely evil and destructive one, just like Maleficent) is nothing different from denying all of Yana's hard work on designing him and his personality!

Malleus himself said that his grandmother's skills were far greater than his and most importantly: Malleus still has chance to have a better fate than Maleficent did.

Once again: He's still young! He still has a chance to be saved from turning into a heartless and isolated creature like Maleficent. No matter how cold he is, he hasn't yet got to the point of hating the whole world and losing all of his emotions. And that's why it's totally wrong to deny all the good that he might still have inside by saying that he isn't soft at all. He isn't a baby, but he isn't a monster either. Not yet.

(10) Even Lilia agrees that Malleus is still learning and his personality is in development

Can't you see? Malleus isn't attending to this school for no reason. His magic is already top notch, and his knowledge goes far greater than anything they might teach in NRC.

If you take a look at the story, you'll see signs of Lilia indirectly giving us signs of why Malleus still needed to attend to this school. In Malleus's SR robes' story, Lilia told him that he still has a lot to learn and knowledge isn't everything. And what might he find in NRC which has nothing to do with knowledge? People.

Lilia is trying to hold him back from isolating himself like Maleficent did, and is indeed trying to help him make friends and learn to get along with people without thinking that it's useless because they'd fear him anyway.

Also, he clearly wants Malleus to learn and experience new things in NRC by taking part in activities. In Malleus's Halloween SR story Lilia, who was always the one to choose Diasomnia's Halloween costumes, asks Malleus to choose this year's costume instead of him. Lilia first says that he wants Malleus to do it but later tells him that he has other reasons as well, he was trying to put Malleus into trying something new therefore he can have something learn from the experiment! (What a cute papa he really is...)

This is another proof of him not having the cold and unapproachable picture some imagine him to have, he isn't against experiencing and trying new things.

(11) He's still looking for a true friend

Malleus needs a friend, that's a fact. During his chats he mentions how Maleficent always had her loyal pet crow by her side as the only reliable creature she could always trust, and how Malleus wonders if he can ever find such a worthy ally of his own.

Even as he has Lilia, Silver and Sebek by his side he doesn't feel like he has such a friend.

People have been avoiding him through his whole life, and you can see how excited he got when Cater asked him for a selfie as he was one of the very first people who ever tried to approach him.

While he's slowly getting used to being feared by everyone, he'd still appreciate a friend and he needs one. Not even Maleficent herself could've made it all on her own without a friend by her side.

(12) Malleus isn't heartless

While he won't easily fall for anything or anyone, it isn't impossible for him to love.

We haven't yet seen anything that directly gets us to the point of love in the story but it's something you can tell through his actions and words.

When he cares for something or someone, he'd be serious about it.

Two obvious examples would be his tamagotchi and the ramshackle dorm. He'd certainly get out of his way to find someone to fix his dear tamagotchi and as we saw in the Halloween event, he furiously stated that he'd burn anyone who tries to the ramshackle dorm any harm, because he likes that place.

There isn't much he holds dear in life, but when he does, he won't let a single soul to take it away from him.

When he can be this protective over something that just entertains him, just try to imagine how far he might go to protect the one he loves. He falls in love very slowly and it'll probably take him a while to realize it if he actually does. He can begin with small interests and repeated meetings but at some point, it'll turn into a routine, an obsession. He won't easily fall in love, but when he does, he won't be able to easily let go of it either.

(13) His relationship with MC is far more important than you're thinking

Just by going through his voice lines, you can tell how MC is effecting Malleus's personality and life. I'm not saying that it's love or anything but the thing is, MC is changing Malleus nonetheless.

Their relationship has been a totally new thing for Malleus to experience from the very beginning, because MC didn't know him. Malleus is obviously used to being well-known as the infamous prince of the Draconia family by almost everyone, but MC was an exception.

He asked MC to talk to him and tell him stories, it can be clearly see that he enjoys talking to them.

He also mentioned that MC has made him feeling lots of things he hadn't felt before, which can also be connected to part (10) where we discussed how he's still young and needs more of communication and friends because he needs to learn.

Some argue that Malleus couldn't care less about MC and the only reason he shows up around them is because of the ramshackle dorm, which can be easily proven wrong by two hints:

1) Malleus sent a Happy holiday card to MC after the winter holiday.

2)What Malleus told Lilia at the end of the Halloween event stories after all the troubles that was brought upon the ramshackle dorm: "I want that human to enjoy Halloween too"

While it isn't necessarily romance that we're talking about, his relationship with MC is clearly telling us that he's a lot more of emotions and humanity inside him than what we were expecting.

At this point, it's important to see that in spite of his cold nature and mature personality he is slowly beginning to feel more and more emotions as the result of meeting newer people in NRC, especially MC. Saying that he is nothing but a heartless fae who is wrongly thought to be a soft and emotional boy is nothing different from judging him the same way as most of the people in twisted wonderland itself judge Malleus, it's important to see that he's a lot more.

His personality itself is surely amazing and as a Malleus hoe stan myself I can't wait to get more of his background in chapter 7, although it's probably going to be dark as well. They really did give his design a twist and that's how he's a balance of and menacingly powerful magician and a young boy who's just learning to deal with emotions.

For now, that's all I had in mind! Hope that I didn't miss anything. This was a general character analysis which also discussed some of the common mistakes about Malleus's personality but-

In case that you're wondering how he's being mischaracterized in reader insert fics, that'll be a totally different issue to discuss which would also need another post to be discussed through.

Small note: Just saying that there's often a dark lore to twst x reader fics (Especially for Malleus/ Leona x reader) which is usually better to be ignored while reading/writing for them...

[goodgodwhysposts]

Hi:)

first of all i wanted to say that i really love all of your writing and i can't wait for the next update in the lawyer fic! honestly the updates are kinda the highlight of my week (kinda sad ngl that fanfic updates are the highlight of my week, even when their really good). anyway i thought of some prompts for you/one shots anyway so feel free to alter them/pick and choose or not do any at all so no pressure

1. ok so this one takes place after the gaea war and i thought it would be cool for percy and annabeth to like talk straight forward about the whole "i love you" stuff because even though they said it to each other before it was all at like different times and they were caught up in the war so i thought it would be cool for them to forward address that. anyway so i imagined like there was a campfire and after they say gn to each other butttt then annabeth comes to percy's cabin and they talk about it and maybe some ✨stuff✨ happens after that

2. ok so this one also takes place after the gaea war and i just thought it be cute if like percy and annabeth swam in the lake together after everyone has gone to bed but idk cause that could turn smutty and idk if your up for writing something like that now

3. ok this one is completely innocent--so once percy and annabeth get to new rome and are all settled in i thought it would just be cute if they like went on a walk or percy showed annabeth the whole fountain street he talked about in MoA and then the day ended w percy's head in annabeth lap in a park while annabeth is reading and they are just being adorable little cuties together

anway so that's it and again feel free to do any or none at all and also alter them if ya want :)

hi! sorry for the wait, thank you for all the prompts. I decided to mix two of your ideas together: percabeth settling into new rome, and a conversation about consent. this ended up being much longer than planned.

also, i literally could not remember how new rome was described in the books and i was too lazy to re-read SoN or MoA, so let's just pretend this is accurate.

-----

Annabeth grunted, the sharp edge of the bedside table digging into her stomach as she reached down to plug in the lamp. She fumbled with the outlet, bent over, just barely succeeding in slipping the two prongs into place and watching the light flicker on.

“Now this is a fantastic view,” Percy said behind her.

She pushed herself up and turned to look at him where he stood in the doorway, carrying the last cardboard box from the van. 

She raised an eyebrow, “my sweatpants are doing it for you?”

He set down the box on her new bed and nodded, “definitely. In fact I think I should take you and those sexy sweatpants on a nice tour of the city.”

Her grin fell away, “right now?”

“Yeah, why not?” he shrugged, wiping the sweat off his forehead and running his fingers through his damp hair. She hated that he looked so good despite the heat, when she was standing there looking like a gross, sticky mess.

“We’ve been unpacking all morning.”

He smirked, “you’re tired? What happened to the girl who could beat me in a race.”

She picked up a towel that was sitting on the desk chair next to her and threw it at his face, “I can still beat you in a race, Seaweed Brain.”

He snatched the towel before it could fall to the ground, chuckling, “okay that’s true, but I still think we should take a walk around.”

“Or…” she replied, stretching out her sore back, “we could stay here and watch a movie.”

“But everyone’s gonna be moving into the dorms tomorrow and it’s gonna be super hectic, so we should go now.”

“But,” she repeated, “we could cuddle here.”

“Don’t try to bribe me with cuddles,” he stepped forward and placed his hands on her shoulders, “I’ve been wanting to take you on a tour of New Rome ever since I stepped foot in this place,” he said more quietly.

She chewed on her lip, her cheeks heating slightly. She remembered Percy telling her about his vision for them when they were down in Tartarus, that he wanted to go to college together and plant roots somewhere permanent. The reminder that Percy saw a real future with her, and had been imagining building a life together for so long, made her love him even more. It made her want him even more.

“I know,” she replied shyly.

He knocked his forehead against hers, sweaty skin pressed to sweaty skin, “so, come on a tour with me, Wise Girl.”

She sighed, “okay.”

After getting changed into more appropriate clothing, with fewer stains on them, they made their way down to the street. Her excitement began to build as they walked through the plaza hand in hand, passing giant statues and large domed houses. Even with her mixed feelings about New Rome, due to the whole kidnapped boyfriend situation, Annabeth had always thought it was absolutely beautiful. Despite a few niggling trepidations, the idea of living in the city had grown on her exponentially and she found herself cautiously optimistic about this next step of her life. And the fact that she got to do it with Percy by her side made it that much sweeter.

She could see why he liked it here. There were little shops with fresh fruit out front, grand gardens running between the cobblestone streets, and quaint cafes like the one where she and Reyna had picked up hot chocolate during Annabeth’s first visit. People of all ages milled about, not nearly as busy as it was sure to be during the school year, but the lively atmosphere and quiet chatter was nice, nonetheless. She could get used to this.

“So, this is the cool library,” he told her, breaking her out of her thoughts, “I’m sure we’ll be spending lots of time here.”

Her gaze followed his finger, and she let out a quiet gasp at the building standing tall before her. It was old and ornate with marbled columns and figures of the gods carved into the stones, carefully crafted by the finest sculptors. It reminded her of the Bibliotheca Ulpia, with the sloped roof and raised portico.

She looked over at Percy, “we? I’ve never known you to willingly spend time at the library.”

He grinned, “well no, but I’m guessing you’ll be here a lot, and I’ll be wherever you are,” he said simply. 

She bit the inside of her cheek and squeezed his hand tighter, “maybe you’ll actually form some good studying habits then.”

He shook his head, “no, I think I’ll just have you do my homework for me.” 

She scoffed, “I think you’ve got the wrong girlfriend.”

He stopped and widened his eyes comically, “wait, you’re not Rachel?”

She punched his shoulder, “shut the fuck up.”

He laughed and pulled her under his arm, “it’s cool though, right?” he asked, staring up at the library.

“It’s amazing,” she confirmed.

His grin widened and he nodded, “yeah, I think it’s closed today, but we can do a walk through tomorrow,” he promised.

“I’d love that.”

He kissed her curls and grabbed her hand once more, tugging her along, “look at those buildings over there. Kinda looks like a mini palace.”

It looked like a model of the Domus Flavia, one of the most famous ancient Roman palaces of the first century. It was much smaller than the real thing, but still very impressive. It had the same thick walls that the Flavian Palace was known for, made of strong, Phrygian marble. Each unique structure formed a rectangle, likely with a peristyle courtyard at the center. She’d have to take a tour through there as well.

“It is a mini palace,” she confirmed. “They did an amazing job replicating everything. It looks so similar to how it was described in the books.”

“It’s got those column things,” Percy snapped his fingers, trying to recall the name, “the thing at the top, a- a frieze!”

A proud smile spread across her lips, “yeah, it does.”

He smirked, “see, I know things.”

“I’m very impressed,” she told him.

“This is why I wanted to bring you here,” he said, turning to look at her, “there’s so many details to look at, and all this cool architecture and stuff.” He dug his toe into the cobblestone, “everyone just looks happy and peaceful, no one has to worry about monsters or quests, they just live their lives.”

“Yeah.”

He stared at her, “that’s what I want.”

“Me too.”

“So, do you think you’ll like it here?” he wondered, and she thought she detected a hint of anxiety in his voice. “Do you think you can see yourself living here for the next few years?”

“Yeah, I can,” she said, truthfully. She tugged on his arm to pull him closer and looked up at him, “I promise I really, really like it here.”

He let out a breath she hadn’t realized he was holding until now, “good, cause I think we’re gonna love it,” he decided, “although I am gonna miss New York.”

She hummed, “me too, but we’ll go back eventually.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, “can’t live without mom’s cookies for too long.”

She snorted, “you can just say you miss her.”

He nudged her with his shoulder, “let me pretend.”

“Everyone already knows.”

“You better not tell her I cried before we even pulled out of the parking lot,” he warned.

She grinned, “I make no such promises.”

“You’re a bully,” he accused, pinching her side.

She leaned away from him and ran ahead out of reach, laughing as he chased after her. When he caught up, he grabbed her by the waist and wrapped his arms around her, dropping his chin on her head, a laugh rumbling through his chest. She melted into him and they gazed across the city, bodies melded together.

“I wanna show you one last thing,” he told her.

“Okay,” she whispered, “but you’re gonna carry me.”

She felt him smile against her hair, “lazy,” he teased, but didn’t question her beyond that, simply stepping in front of her and leaning down so that she could hop up on his back.

She curled her arms around her neck and hooked her feet together at his waist, allowing him to take her to this last, mysterious location. She watched people in their own little worlds as they went, basking in the warmth that was pressed against her chest, and the soft breeze ruffling through her loose curls. Percy didn’t stop walking until they came upon a small park, with impossibly green grass and a beautiful fountain at the center of it.

Percy set her down gently and wrung his hands, “I found this place when I was here the first time,” he told her, “back then, I didn’t remember anyone or anything, but I did remember you, and I thought about us, being here together and it helped get me through it,” he swallowed, “so I thought we could make this our spot, or something. We could come study on the grass, or we could bring a picnic and have a date,” he shrugged.

Gods she loved him so much it hurt. She wanted everything with him, every part of him, the good, the bad and all the sweetness in between.

She grabbed his face in her hands and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, “I think this is a great spot for us,” she mumbled.

“Good,” he smiled against her mouth, “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

He gave her another peck before leaning back, still keeping his arms around her waist loosely, “I should’ve brought some food and a blanket, we could’ve had our first date right here.”

“That would’ve been fun,” she agreed.

“We could still get some cuddling in,” he suggested, his thumb brushing her side between her jeans and her shirt, making goosebumps spread across her skin.

She glanced down at the slightly damp grass and chewed her lip. Percy sensed her hesitation and peeled off his sweater, the shirt he was wearing beneath lifting with it to give her a beautiful view of his defined stomach.

He set it down on the ground and patted it, “here sit, now you won’t get dirty.”

She laughed and carefully plopped on the sweater, crossing her legs as Percy laid down, stretching out so that he could rest his head in her lap. She leaned her back against the fountain wall and threaded her fingers in his hair. Percy closed his eyes as she scratched his scalp gently, and they fell silent, simply enjoying each other's presence.

It was strange being here, almost like camp but with so much more freedom. They really could do anything they wanted, no chores or schedule directing the course of their day, no parents or centaurs telling them what to do. No more rules that restricted them from being in a room together, either.

They could sleep in the same bed without having to sneak around and they could makeout without worrying about Paul walking in on them. Actually, they could do a lot more than makeout.

And she wanted to, of course she did. When she said she wanted all of him, every part, she really meant that. She’d been wanting to take the next step in their relationship for a long time now. 

When they first started dating, they were a little too young, too new as a couple and far too awkward around each other to think about anything that intimate. She and Percy blushed just holding hands the first week of dating so sex was definitely not something on either of their radars at the time. 

Then he’d been kidnapped and her feelings had become painfully intense and she’d realized just how much she needed him, realized how much she wanted him. Unfortunately, even after reuniting, they had the end of the world to contend with so taking that leap was still far from their minds. 

After going through hell together and coming out the other side, they needed to heal. They slept in the same bed every night and they were always touching each other in some capacity, but they hadn’t been in a place to think about being together like that.

But they’d gotten better, they’d dealt with their trauma, and she was so ready for it. She was almost 18 years old and they’d been together for over a year and she wanted him. 

They’d gotten close a few times, grinding hips and wandering hands. She’d even taken her shirt off once or twice, throwing her head back as Percy kissed all over her chest and traced his nose along the seam of her bra. But something always seemed to inevitably get in the way, a knock on the door, or a badly timed phone call from her cousin, they just couldn’t find the right moment.

But for the first time in a long time, they were alone, with no big responsibilities weighing on them, and they had an empty dorm and an empty bed just down the street waiting for them.

The prospect of it alone made her heart beat faster in her chest, and she felt this tightness building in her gut which really didn’t match the otherwise peaceful atmosphere.

“Perce,” she whispered.

“Hmm,” he acknowledged.

She tugged on a piece of his hair so that he would open his eyes. She could feel her cheeks starting to heat up, but she willed herself to say what needed to be said. 

As smart as he was, Percy could be clueless at times and no matter how many hints she dropped, he still didn’t do anything unless he was a hundred percent sure she wanted him to.

He always followed her lead, letting her be the one to dictate when she was ready for more. She knew that he would wait for her forever if that’s what she wanted, and she loved him for that, but that’s not what she wanted, she didn’t want to waste another second.

She brushed a curl off his forehead, “so we have our dorms to ourselves…”

He nodded, “yeah, it’ll be nice.”

“No Chiron or Sally around to interrupt us,” she continued, trying to lead him towards the point.

“Finally some privacy,” he agreed, but still not seeming to understand what she was trying to say.

“Do-” she bit her lip, “do you want to take advantage of that privacy?”

“Sure, what did you have in mind?”

She rolled her eyes and huffed. This is what she meant by clueless.

“Sex, Percy. Do you want to have sex tonight?”

His head was out of her lap in an instant, sitting up to face her with wide eyes.

“What? Seriously?”

She bit back a nervous smile, “yeah, seriously.”

He blinked, “okay,” he swallowed, “um, what brought this on?”

She shrugged, “I don’t know. We finally have some freedom and I feel like we’ve been getting close to that point, right?” When he nodded she continued, looking down at the grass as she spoke, “and I want to, I’m ready.”

His hand slid onto her thigh, “me too, I’m- me too, I’m ready too.”

She blew out a breath, letting a small grin spread across her face, “so do you want to? Tonight?”

Percy smiled to match her, the same nervous excitement reflected in his features, “yeah, I want to.”

“Good.”

Percy ripped out a piece of grass, “should we- uh, talk about it?”

She cocked her head, “talk about what?”

“You know,” he began, “we should probably talk about what you like, what you don’t like, when you want me to do something or stop doing something.”

She chewed on her thumbnail, “you’ve always known what I like without any problems before.”

Percy’s cheeks turned a little pink and he tried to smother a proud smirk, “okay, but this is different. We’ve really only made out in the past, this is a big step.”

“Yeah.”

He shifted closer, their knees pressing together, “so tell what you like, Wise Girl.”

“I don’t know what I like,” she giggled nervously, “I have the same amount of experience as you. We were each other’s first kiss, first everything.”

“Well,” his hand slipped higher on her thigh, “what about when you think about it- about us together? What do you picture?”

She rubbed the back of her neck, staring at his fingers which were wrapped gently around her leg, “I don’t really know, I- guess like I usually picture you, um, on top and I’m on my back. At least, like, for the first time.”

He nodded, “okay, I’m good with that, we can start there. What else?”

She didn’t think her face had ever felt this hot in her life and she couldn’t understand how he seemed to be getting through this so calmly.

“I- I like when you kissed my chest,” she whispered. “I like when you kiss me anywhere.”

“I like kissing you too,” he said. “What about when you touch yourself?

The tips of her ears started to burn, “what about it?”

“Where do you start? What do you like?”

“I- uh, I…” she stuttered.

“Come on babe,” he coaxed gently, “if we can’t talk about this kind of stuff, then we’re probably not ready to be actually doing it. Nothing you say will phase me, okay?”

She inhaled slowly, her gaze flickering up to his, “I usually like to start slow, like, trailing my fingers over my body and stuff.” She exhaled shakily, “and then I go down my stomach and I- I sorta go around the, my-” she huffed, “you know what I’m trying to say. I go around and brush it or flick softly and then when I’m worked up, I- I put direct pressure on it and sometimes I’ll slip a finger inside,” she dropped her head into her hands, unable to look at him any longer.

He squeezed her thigh to show he understood, groaning a little, “okay, that visual is going to be stuck in my head for the rest of my life. Are you okay if I start with that tonight? If I do that before we move on to the other stuff?”

She nodded mutely in assent.

“Is-” he cleared his throat, “is it okay if I use my mouth too?”

Her breath stuttered in her chest but she managed another nod, “yeah, I think I would like that.”

“Good,” he grinned. “What about things that are off limits? Is there anything that you know for sure you don’t want?”

“I guess,” she thought for a moment, “I mean it’s hard to say what I don’t like cause I’ve never tried it, but for now I don’t want to do anything too extreme, you know? I want to take it slow, and work up to it. So just don’t like, hit me or spit on my face or something.”

Percy scoffed in surprise, “I can promise you I won’t be doing that. But,” he took her chin and lifted her gaze to his, “I want you to know that you can change your mind at any time, okay? I won’t be mad if you don’t feel ready, or if it isn’t comfortable, or if I do something you don’t like. Please tell me.”

She pulled her lip between her teeth, “I promise, I’ll tell you,” she smoothed a hand down his face, “you promise to tell me? I want you to enjoy it too.”

He nodded, “I promise.”

She smiled, anticipation starting to return, the tightness inside her building to a breaking point.

“How much longer do you wanna stay down here?” she asked suddenly.

“Why?”

She pushed herself off the ground, grabbing his sweater, “because talking about this has kinda gotten me excited, and I’d really like to go try some of those things we talked about.”

Percy stood quickly, “yes, let’s go do that immediately.”

She laughed, “only if you carry me.”

He didn’t hesitate for a second to bend over in front of her, “let’s go.”

She hopped on his back and together they raced towards her dorm, the future looking bright.

[bts-reveries]

expect the unexpected |15

The Kim family had just finished dinner and were having family time in the living room!

Minseok played with his siblings on the coffee table. He was teaching his younger brother and sister how to share their toys as they often fought with each other. The two youngest’s personalities often clashed as Soojin and Haneul were both chaotic in their own ways.

“Soojinie,” Minseok calls, he notices that his brother was pouting next to his sister. “Let Haneul borrow that.” He points to the car Soojin was playing with. “You’ve been holding onto that this whole time, Haneul’s been wanting to play with it too.” 

“But it’s mine,” Soojin says, holding it close to her chest. 

“I know, but Haneul just wants to play with it. It will still be yours,” Minseok says, holding his arm out for the toy. Soojin hesitates, but gives it to him anyway.

“Here Han-Han,” Minseok says, acting cute when he gives the toy to Haneul. He only calls Haneul that when Haneul’s sad. 

Haneul immediately lights up when the toy car is given to him. 

“Thanks hyungie~”

“At least we raised one nice one,” Jin says, watching his three kids. The two of you were sitting on the couch. Well, you were sitting on the couch. Jin was laying down, facing up, with his feet on the arm of the couch and his head on your lap.

He turns his head to look up at you, snuggling his head on your lap. 

“They’re all sweet in their own way,” you respond, watching Soojin finally play with Haneul and Minseok smiling as he watches them two. “Look at them.” You gesture to the kids, watching them laugh with each other. 

“Yeah, if only it was like this all the time,” Jin sighs. Nowadays, he’s been busier and has been out of the house often. When he is with the kids, they’re often in bad moods, or he’s had a stressful day. Sometimes they're all in bad moods which makes it all just stressful for one another. If only it was like this all the time. When everyone’s happy~ 

He turns his head to look up at you. 

“Can you believe it’s almost been a month since our trip?” Jin says. Your anniversary trip was almost a month ago. Which is crazy to think. Time goes by fast doesn’t it? 

The two of you have been busy, with work and with the kids. Sometimes together, sometimes individually. There’s been long nights and long days. But it’s all worth it in the end. For nights like this.

“I miss Jeju,” Jin pouts, closing his eyes. You giggle, poking his round cheeks. “I wanna go on anodo twip~~” he whines, talking in aegyo. You roll your eyes, cupping his cheeks and shaking his head from side to side. 

“My baby wants to go on anodo twip?” you repeat, jutting out your bottom lip. Right when the word baby leaves your mouth, you see Haneul’s head whip towards you from your peripheral vision. You look up at him and he’s frowning.

“I’m the baby,” he says, pointing to himself. Jin turns to look at him and shakes his head.

“I’m mommy’s baby,” Jin says, turning his head toward your stomach, looking away from his kids. You look up at Haneul and you can tell that he’s mad. Minseok starts to giggle as Haneul starts walking up to his dad. 

“No! Me!” Haneul yells as he stands in front of his dad. “I’m baby!” With that came a smack to Jin’s shoulder. Jin’s head whips toward him so fast and his eyes are wide.

“Did you just hit me?”

Haneul hits him again. “I’m mommy’s baby,” he says, smacking Jin’s chest. 

“Stop hitting my daddy!” Soojin yells, running towards her brother. She pushes him to the side and hugs Jin. Of course this made Haneul scream. 

A quiet household doesn’t last long for you five. 

“Soojinah,” Jin whines, holding onto his chest. Acting as if he was so hurt. “Haneul hurt daddy.” 

“See you hurt my daddy!” Soojin yells, pushing Haneul back down as he finally gets up on his feet. 

“Yah--” You say, putting an arm on her shoulder. Let’s not take this too far.

“That’s my daddy too!” Haneul yells out. This whole time Minseok was just leaning over the coffee table, watching everything unfold before him.

“No he’s mine!” Soojin yells. 

“No, daddy is mine,” you say, making both of them turn to you. You lean down and hug Jin’s head, pressing his cheek against yours. “And I have known daddy for longer.”

You give Jin a kiss on the cheek, he already had a cheeky smile on his face. You turn to look back up at Soojin and her lips are quivering and her eyebrows were already turned upwards. 

“Soojinah--” You say, right before the floodgates have opened. 

Now you had two screaming and crying children as Haneul started crying right after his sister did. You froze, looking up at your last, quiet child. You and Minseok made eye contact and he let out a little smile, making you laugh. Your laughing only made Soojin cry louder. 

“Alright alright, daddy is yours, come here,” Jin says, sitting up and opening his arms. Soojin is still crying as she walks into her dad’s embrace. Jin picks her up, placing her on his lap. Soojin tucks her arms under herself, sandwiched between hers and Jin’s chest. Jin rubs her back, saying “it’s okay, no need to cry.”

“Haneul come to mommy?” You say, opening your arms as well. Haneul stands up and runs into your arms, crying into your chest. 

“How’d it turn out like this?” You say to Jin, letting out a small laugh. He shrugs his shoulders, smiling at you. 

You both are rubbing the two youngest’s backs, trying to calm them down. 

“Look at Minseok,” Jin tells you. You look up at your oldest and see him just awkwardly looking at you two. 

“What about you? Who’s your favorite?” You ask him. Clearly Soojin was more of a daddy’s girl and Haneul was more of a mommy’s boy, even though he was fighting over Jin.

“I love both of you equally,” Minseok answers. Jin nodded in approval, he said the right answer. 

“Oh! But hey, Haneul looks like you’re winning him over,” you tell Jin. Haneul often liked to be trouble with his dad, as if he hated him. But of course he was always sweet with you.

“Is that true Haneul-ah?~” Jin says, lowering his head down and looking at Haneul. He’s calmed down now, both him and his sister. “Do you like daddy more now?” 

Haneul looks up at Jin and looks back down, ignoring his answer. 

He definitely loves his dad.

“Can you two make up now?” You say, referring to Haneul and Soojin. You and Jin pulled away from the little ones for them to sit up and look at one another.

“Make up so we can play already,” Minseok says, walking towards his siblings. 

“Han-Han~” Minseok says, putting a hand on Haneul’s back. “Jinie-Jinie-Soojinie~” He says in a sing-songy voice, turning to his sister and putting a hand on her back. 

Haneul slides off of you and hugs Minseok, looking up at his sister. 

“Go say sorry to Haneul,” Jin tells Soojin. She frowns, sliding off of him and walking towards Minseok.

“Sorry Haneul,” she says, pulling and tugging onto Minseok’s shirt, trying to avoid eye contact. 

“Haneul say sorry to noona too,” you say. 

“Sorry~” He says, looking up at his sister.

“Okay~ Let’s play now,” Minseok says, patting Haneul’s back. 

With that, the three turned around and began playing as if nothing had just happened. Jin sighs, going back to his previous position and laying back into your lap.

“Yeah,” he says, eyes closed and all. “I want to go back to Jeju.” 

You laugh, patting his cheeks. 

“We can go,” you say, his eyes opened so quickly. As if they were saying ‘really??’ 

You nod, “but with the kids this time.” He whines, dropping his head down and shutting his eyes. You laugh at his reaction, squishing his cheeks once again. 

*ring ring*

You turn to the sound. “Is that mine?” You say. You and Jin have the same ringtones. 

“I think so, my phone is in our room,” Jin responds. Eyes still closed, not budging one bit. 

“Well can you get off of me so I can get it?” 

Jin shakes his head no. You sigh.

“I’ll get it mommy,” Minseok says, running to your phone. 

“Thanks sweetie,” you say, watching your oldest run and get your phone. He gives it back to you quickly and returns back to his siblings.

“Oh it’s my dad,” you say, answering the call.

“Hello?” You say. “Dad, is everything okay?” Your eyes widen as he explains the unexpected call. You didn’t have much to say but ‘Yes-- What?-- When?-- Wait-- Why?-- Tomorrow?-- Okay.. I’ll be there.’

You ended the call after what seemed like forever. 

It was mostly you listening while your dad talked. Jin looks up at you, he couldn’t hear much of the conversation.

“What did he say?” he asks.

“My mom’s sick,” you say, feeling uneasy. “I have to leave tomorrow.”

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

expect the unexpected

♡ part fifteen: im baby ♡ 

pairings: ceo, dad!jin x interior designer, mom!reader

a/n: okay i feel like i’ve been saying this, but nOw we’re getting somewhere

also, i know i haven’t been constant as i used to be and that’s more of a part of me not being in the mood to post much, which is also on the fact that i don’t think much people (at least compared to the previous member’s au), are reading this one? i have new readers everyday for the other au’s and although a lot of people love this series and were anticipating this au, this has been the au with the least feedback/readers which make me wonder if it’s boring or what haha ahh.. i don’t want to be that person who’s looking for likes or anything but in the bts tumblr fanfic community idk if everyone’s aware of this, but jin’s au tend to be the ones with the least amount of readers etc. which is why there isn’t much fics on him, a lot of writers gets unmotivated to write for him when they know it doesn’t get as much as tae’s and jungkook’s. and im starting to feel that way, just because for previous au’s i’d constantly post because i’d always get feedback on every update and it motivates me to write more but this au has been the driest au ever lol which is sad because a lot of people were asking to be added to the taglist and i have no idea what happened to them now but i just hope everyone’s okay! i know none of us are obligated to be on top of reading updates but i just wanted to say how i felt. the only thing keeping me going on this au is jin. haha, as silly as that sounds, i don’t want more au’s on him to discontinue because of things like this. im ot7, this whole au is for all of the members so i hope my followers and fellow tmbmil fam continue to read till the end because i did had something planned for the ending, which might just not happen depending on how this au ends. but also the others that keep me going is my sister, a fellow jin bias, and the handful of readers who comment on my updates haha but yeah, this is just how im feeling. i don’t want anyone to think im just not in the mood to do this thing anymore. i really did enjoy this

this was an unexpectedly long a/n, im sure only a few will read this actually, but to those 3 or 5 people who see this, i hope you have a lovely day/night! thank you for reading this, you have my love 💜

taglist: @silentlyimpractical @jillianmarie @waddlebby @cecedrake2217 @ddofa @samros95 @sope-and-shine @joonjoonsmiles @codeinebelle @aianloveseven @Chamchamcham @princessjazzyjazz @notvantaes @casspirit0705 @ramyagovindraj @brinnalaine @ephyra1230 @betysotelo18 @thoughtfultaledreamer @salty-for-suga @cosmicdaylight @dreamcatcherjiah @kookoo-kachoo @justinetingball  @josierosie @jayhope88 @butterflylion @hobiismyhopeu @momma-said-that-it-was-oke @shinyplaidbagellamp @catspancake @somewhereofftheglobe @strawberryforever25 @rjsmochii @prdshobi @beeeb05 @eatjeanjin @taekookcaneatme @Cheeely14 @kookietsukkie @anpanman-sonyeondan @glitteringcoffeefreak @chocobetterknot @alpaca1612 @ohmy-fandoms @liljooniecutie @Jikachoo @preciouschimine @fan-ati--c @Joondala @httpmuffin @dammit-jjk @jikooksgirl19

TAGLIST IS CLOSED!

to be notified when i post, please turn on my notifications! thank youu~

[iwalc]

Be Alright - Brian May fanfic

This chapter is inspired by an idea I got a while ago. I'll write chapters inspired by a song, and create a story, about Brian and a female character, from the songs. I hope you'll like this idea, and I hope that I don't destroy any songs for you guys.

This chapter will be inspired by the song "Be Alright" by Dean Lewis and I recommend you listen to it in a somewhat connection to this chapter to get a sort of feeling for what I try to portray.

As always- take care- Love you guys!

ps. since this is the first chapter with this concept pls let me know what you think! <3

---

P.O.V Brian

I look up from the ground to meet your beautiful eyes, but this time they are sad and teary. I did not get to look into them for long though, since you looked away from me, which isn't a thing that you've hardly ever done before.  Your body language is hesitant and I see there's something you're not telling, something is bugging you.

I wanted to help you, so dearly, I hate to see you like this, troubled, so I reached for your hand. It feels different, it's cold, and you act like you don't want me to touch you. It felt like a knife stabbed my heart. My love pulled away her hand. I can't help but wonder what's on your mind. What's troubling you, the woman I love so dearly.

Silence took over the room, I hardly breathed, I've never heard a silence that loud before. My heart raced, I knew something was desperately wrong.

"Brian, I made a dumb mistake" you suddenly broke the hurting silence. My heart stopped for a second, what is she talking about, what has happened?

The tears were now streaming down your face. It really hurt me to see you like this. I just wanted to walk up to you and embrace you in the most loving and caring hug, all I wanted was to kiss your forehead, stroke your back and tell you that everything will be alright, but your manner told me that you wanted to distance yourself from me, which hurt me even more.

You started to tremble slightly and your voice began to break when you said that the cigarettes on the counter last week wasn't from your friends, they were from my mate's. I felt my heart stop and I could feel the colour draining from my face. I knew where you were going with this, and I've never felt such pain.

I think back on the letters you sent, and the never-ending phone calls. It didn't make sense, where did this come from?  It was like everything we had just disappeared into space, everything was deleted like the past, it was gone.

I tried to approach you, to try to save the glory that we have had, the glory that, without me knowing, was disappearing into space, but when I touched your beautiful face, I could tell that it was too late, you were already moving on. Another knife stabbed me. Tears began to fill up my eyes, blurring the view that I had the blessing to enjoy for three years.

I could have been able to ignore, or moved on, from the fact that you kissed him yesterday if you had let me. The hard part is the feeling of betrayal, that I just can't seem to shake. During all this wonderful time together I gave you a part of myself, I gave you my all, you've been my everything. The part of me that I gave you during out happy, loving years, you broke. Everything I know tells me that I should walk away, I can't shake it, but the only thing I desire, is to be able to go back in time, to be yours again, to feel our never-ending love, to feel that part of me whole again.

I had to watch you walk away, leaving your key on the kitchen counter. My heart was shattered. I was going to propose to you. You were the love of my life. We were going to get married, have a bunch of beautiful kids, grow old together. All my dreams got shattered, and I don't know how I'll ever be able to move on.

Destroyed, I called Freddie, I told him what had happened and he promised to make his way over as fast as possible and ten minutes later the door swung open, revealing Freddie along with John and Roger. I was relieved to not be on my own anymore.

"Mate, I know you love her, but it's over, It doesn't matter, put the phone away"

I hadn't even noticed that I've been sitting by the phone, subconsciously waiting for your to call. I just wanted to go back in time, redoing it, do whatever I did wrong right. It hurts so bad.

"Brian, It's never easy to walk away, but you have to let her go, It'll be okay" Johan gently said while rubbing my back softly.

"It's gonna hurt for a bit of time, but we'll never leave you, we'll be with you all the way!" Freddie reassured me. I know they did their best, but it felt hopeless. This will never heal. I will never be happy again.

"I know this might not be the right time to suggest this. But alcohol always helps. Let's bottoms up, and forget tonight" Roger hesitantly said, feeling the glares from Freddie.

"You'll find another and you'll be just fine, but you have to let her go".

But nothing heals the past like time And they can't steal The love you're born to find, she was the one, my only one. I won't find another, because there are no other soul like hers.

[timmytimwriter]

Once Upon A Time...

A/N: Hi! I know I haven’t uploaded anything in a long while, BUT I’ve kept myself busy with writing. I know I had requests I haven’t uploaded yet, and that’s because I’m working on it. Recently, I started watching the Fantastic Beast film series and fell head over heels in love with Theseus Scamander. So, here’s a little mini-series.

As usual, all my Y/N’s are black. Period. If you want a white Y/N, refer to the other gazillion fanfics that fail to be inclusive to black women :) with that out the way, enjoy!

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: None, just heartbreak :(

Once upon a time, it was Y/N Y/L/N and Theseus Scamander against the world. Having spent nearly their entire life together, nearly everyone expected them to end up together. Hell, even they expected to end up together. And, they almost did. Y/N loved him more than she loved life itself. Theseus did not.

Once upon a time, Y/N was prepared to spend the rest of her life with Theseus. But their fairytale romance didn’t end in a happily ever after.

The small gang had run out of places to hide. Wherever they want, Grindelwald’s supporters seemed to find – and try to kill – them. They had exhausted every hiding spot in the entire continent of Europe, it seemed.

“We can’t just keep running.” Tina fumed after nearly escaping yet another attack. They trudged through the alleys of London. Try as they might, it was hard to stay inconspicuous with such a large group. If it were just Newt, Tina, and Jacob running it’d be easier – but, their ranks had been joined by Yusuf Kama, Nagini, and Theseus Scamander.

“We have to leave Europe. We can’t keep hiding out like animals.” Yusuf said.

“We could always go back to New York?” Jacob halfheartedly suggested. After losing Queenie, everything Jacob did was halfhearted. It was as if Queenie took his very essence with her when she left.

“No, New York would be too obvious. They know who we are, so they must know where we live.” Tina interjected, just as halfheartedly. She had lost her sister to an evil she couldn’t find. All she could do was run; run away from her sister.

Newt noticed her sadness and took her hand in his, offering her a small smile. Theseus watched his little brother and Tina hold hands, which only reminded him of what he had lost: Leta Lestrange.

Theseus’ bitter thoughts were interrupted by his brother. “New York may be too obvious but going to America isn’t such a bad idea…” Newt’s voice trailed off and he tentatively glanced at his older brother, who was lost in his own world.

“Theseus…” Newt softly said. He let go of Tina’s petite hand and walked over to his brother, putting a soft hand on his broad shoulders.

“What?” Theseus saw everyone now looking at him, and he wondered if he missed something important when he was lost in his own head. “Did I miss something?”

Newt took a deep breath. He knew this wasn’t going to end well. “I know a place we can hideout. In America. But you’re not going to like it…”

The day was September 18th, 1927.

The crisp autumn brisk bristled past Y/N as she swiftly walked through a nearly empty park. It was nearly 8AM and, though nearly everyone else in Washington DC was asleep, Y/N Y/L/N had made a point of waking up at 5 in the morning for the sole purpose of getting fresh baked goods from Maryland.

See, her favorite bakery was nearly an hour-long drive from her home and the goods always ran out fast. It had taken her weeks to devise a working and precise plan, but she had finally done it. Now, it was just this eerie park that separated where she parked her car and her apartment that delayed her breakfast.

“If the bread gets cold… after all my hard work… so help me Merlin…” she huffed, hastening her paste. Finally, she found herself in front of her apartment – a stout yet charming brown shoe-box shaped building that was snuggled between what seemed like a billion other buildings that fit the same description. Lucky for her, Y/N lived on the ground floor and only had to climb the front steps and insert her key.

“Home sweet home.” She thought to herself, setting the bag of baked goods on a nearby table. She shrugged off her light coat, lamenting if the food was worth not sleeping in. Lord knows when she may get another opportunity; with the rise of Grindelwald, her work at the ministry had nearly quadrupled.

But it kept her busy. It distracted her from everything ailing her life; how war was imminent, worrying for her family’s safety, worrying for her own safety, worrying for…him.

As much as it pained her, she kept close tabs on him. Whenever a European Auror turned up dead because of Grindelwald or one of his followers, she prayed it wasn’t him. Y/N had never been a religious person; she believed in magic, but that was it. To this day, it still puzzled her how the man who had completely crushed her heart made her believe in the unbelievable.

She shook her head. “Stop thinking about him.” She muttered to herself, taking a deep breath. “Lord knows he’s not thinking about you. Lord knows he was never thinking about you…” She tossed her coat onto the couch, making a mental note to put it away later.

For now, she needed the only thing that would drive him out of her mind: food. Through her heartbreak and depression, there was only one constant in her mind. The one thing that drove her out of bed nearly every day. The one thing that didn’t attempt to get her to “talk about it” or “put herself out there.” The one thing that she loved more than…

“Theseus!”

Lo and behold, standing right there in her petite kitchen was Theseus Scamander. The man who had obliviated her heart.

She nearly fell back in shock, never expecting to see his face again. After all these years… he still looked the same. His eyes were still dark with slight speckles on gold. His auburn hair still had those unruly curls that he hated and often unsuccessfully tried to gel back, but Y/N always loved. Most of her favorite memories with him included him cuddling up to her while she played with his hair.

She narrowed her eyes and peered closer at him, taking in everything that had changed. Yes, he had certainly aged, but he looked thoroughly exhausted. He had bags under his eyes, and small vanishing wounds riddled his body. He looked tired. Defeated. She had never seen that look in him.

He looked like she did when he left her. Heartbroken.

“So sorry to intrude like this, Y/N” his brother, Newt, interjected. Y/N only then realized that there were other people present.

“What the hell is going on?”

Newt provided a quick summarization of what the group had gone through the past couple of days: the fight during Grindelwald’s assembly, Queenie’s betrayal, Credence switching sides, and Leta’s death. At that last comment, Y/N’s eyes instinctively darted to Theseus, who kept his trained on the ground. As a matter of what, he was trying desperately hard to avoid eye contact.

“We wouldn’t be here if we weren’t desperate, Y/N.” Newt said. The Scamander’s and Y/N had a long and complicated history, and Newt hated having to impose this on his old friend. He didn’t like the idea of involving her in an already volatile situation.

Y/N, on the other hand, wouldn’t hear a word otherwise. “Of course, you’re all welcome to stay. I wish you’d come earlier and save yourselves the trouble of running around London seeking refuge.”

Newt gratefully nodded, taking Tina’s hand in his. “Don’t worry, I still remember my way around your flat.” At that, he and his... girlfriend(?) apparated away – probably to another room to get some privacy.

Now Y/N was left alone with a group of people she didn’t know. Well, she knew Theseus – once upon a time – but not as well as she thought she did, obviously.

“Alright, then. Are any of you hurt? Hungry? I’ve got baked goods from the best place in the country.” Y/N pushed further into the kitchen, clutching her bag of baked goods with her. Brushing past Theseus, she caught a sniff of the most comforting and familiar smell she knew. In fact, it was the exact same smell of her Amortentia potion. “I’ve got about a dozen bagels and some doughnuts. Oh, and cookies too. You might be wondering why I have so much food, after all, I’m just one person. And that’s a very funny question…” Y/N blabbered away. As if talking would fill the awkward space.

Because if she fell silent, she’d have to become more aware of her surroundings. That would mean looking at Theseus. Maybe even talking to him. And it would, ultimately, lead to her reliving every wonderfully painful memory she ever shared with him.

“Y/N…? Now, where have I heard that name before?” Jacob asked.

“Maybe from Newt? We went to Hogwarts together for about three years, after all.”

“Only three? Isn’t wizarding school for seven years, or something like that?”

“Yes, but I started school at Uagadou. It’s the wizarding school in Africa – I’m from Senegal, by the way, don’t let the English accent fool you- but then I transferred to Hogwarts in my fourth year…” Y/N trailed off, not fully wanting to finish the story as it didn’t paint her in the best light.

“…After she transfigured into a panther and attacked a kid for teasing her brothers.” Theseus finished. Y/N’s head snapped up, sending her Y/H/C locks flying in disarray, and stared at him. He was still tentatively looking at the ground, but his face held a knowing smile. “And then just a year after starting at Hogwarts, she did the exact same thing to another student.” He slowly raised his head. With his eyes partially hidden behind his disheveled auburn curls, it seemed as if he was staring into her naked soul.

“Magnolia Harper,” Y/N recalled, “She bloody deserved it too.”

“And what exactly did the poor girl do to warrant an animal attack?” Nagini whispered, her head cocked to the side in curiosity.

Y/N could feel the temperature in her cheeks rising by the second. At that times like this, she was glad her melanin complexion made it difficult for anyone tell she was blushing. The entire story was bloody embarrassing, especially given the situation everything was in right now. She chewed on the bottom of her lip, trying to piece together exactly how to phrase her answer.

Luckily, Theseus came to the rescue. “There was a rumor that she was planning on asking me to the Yule Ball and Y/N got insanely jealous. Pounced on her during Dumbledore’s practice dueling sessions and nearly clawed her entire face off.”

“Oh, so you two were an item. How sweet, young love.” Nagini mulled, smiling at the two. Yusuf stood beside her, solemnly nodding his head.

The pair looked down, the nostalgic smiles slipping from their faces. All the dissipating anger Y/N harbored suddenly came bubbling to the surface, remembering Theseus’ betrayal like a fresh wound. Theseus, on the other hand, felt the guilt and grief wash over him like a Tsunami.

“Not exactly. It turns out I was worried about the wrong girl…”

[wellbelesbian]

ao3 tag game

@sharing-a-room-with-an-open-fire thought i tagged them in this, but i actually haven’t done it yet. i will take this as an invitation to…

how many works do you have on ao3?

13, but some are really old marvel fics and a lot of them are unfinished.

what’s your total ao3 word count?

41303

how many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

technically it’s filtered as 5, but i’d say 3 because some fandom tags mean the same thing. Carry On Series/Simon Snow & Related Fandoms, Marvel Cinematic Universe, and Ancient Greek Religion & Lore/The Iliad.

what are your top five fics by kudos?

nothing is sacred enough to escape gen z humour- this is one of my oldest and dumbest fics, hence why it’s the top one. it’s an mcu fic about Peter and Shuri beginning a vine reference war that gets way out of hand. i guess it is pretty funny.

Hugs Are The Best Type Of Team Building- another mcu fic. this one was mostly written by my co-writer and i just supplied some ideas and beta-ed it, but i was put down as co-writer and, as another old fic, it’s built up a lot of kudos over the years.

Happier Memories- now we’re onto the recent stuff! this was my fic for the Carry On Anon Fest, where Baz proposes to Simon and it goes horribly wrong, but still ends up happy in the end.

Lend Me Your Comb- this is a short little drabble i wrote about Baz cutting Simon’s hair during lockdown. this is a fairly recent fic so i’m surprised it’s so high!

long is the road that leads me home- this is my snowbaz highwayman fic for the Carry On Through The Ages event. i’m surprised this fic is so high when i’ve still only posted the prologue. i promise i will write the rest eventually!

do you respond to comments? why or why not?

i try to, because it’s so nice to receive the comments so they deserve a response. but sometimes i just don’t know what to say! if there’s anything in a comment i can latch onto i will, if not i’ll just try to leave a thank you.

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i’ve barely started it, but the only one of my fics with an angsty ending will be long is the road. kind of. basically it’s going to have 2 endings, one happy, one very sad. it’s weird because i LOVE writing angst, but i haven’t really written any since my wattpad days. i need to pick it up again…

have you ever received hate on a fic?

no, thankfully! maybe some back when i wrote on wattpad, because i got a LOT of comments on those and i doubt they were all positive. but i don’t remember anything worse than some people joking about typos, so it can’t have been that bad.

do you write smut? if so, what kind?

nope. i sometimes like to read it, but it just feels incredibly stilted and formal when i write it. maybe it’s because i’m ace, or maybe it’s something else. at the end of the day it doesn’t really bother me, i can just do fade-to-black if the situation ever calls for it.

have you ever had a fic stolen?

sort of. okay, so i’m talking about my long-ago wattpad days more than i expected here, but back in like, 2016, one of my friends found that a lot of their fics had been posted to some random fanfic website, and when we checked a lot of mine and another friend’s were there too. i don’t know if the website just had some code that copied fics from wattpad or if this was a person posting them there as their own, but either way there was no way to report it and they weren’t getting much traffic anyway, so we just had to leave it.

have you ever had a fic translated?

a few people messaged me on wattpad to ask to translate some of my fics, and i always gave permission, but i don’t know how many were actually translated. none of my ao3 fics have ever been stolen or translated! am i somehow a worse writer now than i was back then??

what’s your all-time favourite ship?

that’s a big thing to commit to because i change my preferences all the time! if we’re going by fics it would be snowbaz, if by tumblr posts i would be jonmartin (the magnus archives), if we’re going by the longest it would be solangelo (percy jackson). i guess snowbaz or Charlie and Nick from Heasrtstopper in equal measures, for now. but that could change at any time.

have you ever co-written a fic before?

a have 2 fics on ao3 that i co-wrote with somebody who i no longer talk to. they were generally a pretty manipulative and shitty person and sometimes i want to delete those fics, but i also don’t want the memory of them to ruin things i like, so i haven’t. on a lighter note, another friend of mine and i have repeatedly tried to write together, but despite how much fun it is to argue in a google doc, after half a dozen chapters we always get distracted and it fizzles out. we’re still good friends, we just need someone with more focus to mediate and force us to commit more.

what’s a wip you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

not even a wip, because once i start those i don’t ever really stop, but the story i have planned for my OCs is probably never going to make it out of my head and onto a page. writing original fiction is so daunting, and i have a terrible habit of simply not doing things if i suspect they’ll fail.

what are your writing strengths?

dialogue and characters. also foreshadowing. it’s why i love d&d! i can create a bunch of interesting characters and interactions, and be super ominous about the big bad.

what are your writing weaknesses?

describing places and blocking scenes. my friend who i tried to co-write with is a master at beautiful, descriptive prose, which is why we tried to write together. also fight scenes, though i thankfully don’t write many of those.

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fics?

i’m only fluent in english and i don’t trust google translate, so i would need to consult someone who knows the language, or just put it in english in italics.

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

Percy Jackson and the Heroes Of Olympus.

what’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

basically all the ones that haven’t done as well as i expected are my under-appreciated faves. i can’t pick just one!

it’s so stupid, but Rats is one of them. it’s just a dumb little fic i wrote in one night and holds up surprisingly well. also, Simon referenced Baz farming rats in AWTWB, but i got to it first!

also All That She Wants, which was a very personal fic i wrote because i wanted Agatha to have female friends and balance her being gay and ace.

and finally we are slaves to the gods, whatever gods are, because i love ancient greece and trauma and that’s what this fic is a fusion of!

phew, some of this got personal 😂 i tag @otherpeoplesheartachept-2 @martsonmars @mostlymaudlin @bazzybelle @knitbelove and @nonbaznary if you haven’t done this already!

[hismercytomyjustice]

…goddammit, it’s already at almost 4500 words and I am not even close to the actual plot I had planned for it…

How could this happen to me, I made my mistakes, got nowhere to run…. ( ༎ຶ⌑༎ຶ )

It’s not my fault. Everyone was too nice to me and now I’ve lost control of my life! It’s everyone else’s fault! For being too nice! Be meaner!!!

Except don’t because then I will fake my death and hide in the woods forever. orz. And once again I will recreate myself in the image of herjusticetomymercy. Tbh I’ve threatened it enough at this point I should probably grab the url just in case lol.

But holy shit I cannot believe how many people have said nice stuff to me about this series??? Like omfg??? HOW? WHY? WHO WHAT WHEN WHERE?!

My fics almost never break 300 kudos. It has happened exactly twice before this. And one of those was a 50k+ word fanfic across 25 chapters. I still have no fucking clue how the WWDITS oneshot broke 500 kudos. Forever fucking baffled but gleeful about that.

I mean, I was def hoping my BG3 fic would do at least as well as my Cardcaptors fic because it’s for a bigger fandom and I have been so fucking #blessed to have so many amazing regular readers and commenters who literally make my fucking day every time I update. ( ˃̣̣̥︿˂̣̣̥ ) I get so fucking excited to see what my semi-voluntary (in that I have recruited them without their knowledge, sorry y’all) fanfic bffs will think of each chapter. It’s why I’m so sad it’ll be wrapping up in the next month or so.

Even if it stopped getting kudos or any new readers on my BG3 fic completely tomorrow, I’d still want to finish posting it just to share it with my regulars! It feels like being part of a little book club except I’m building the story as we go, lol. It is the FUCKING BEST!!! God I fucking hope folks like the ending. I will survive either way, but I’m so fucking happy with it and I feel like it wraps things up really well and I hope I’m not just delusional lmaooooo. Shut the fuck up OCD!

I know I should write first and foremost for myself because if I don’t enjoy the process, what the fuck is the point??? But at the same time, HOLY SHIT IT IS NICE TO BE EXTERNALLY VALIDATED! And I really wasn’t expecting it with my HH series at all. I mean, I def hoped but didn’t expect. I legit thought part four was gonna be the one that finally got me hate comments on AO3 lol. And then it had like eight kudos before I went to bed after posting it and I was just like “Oh thank fuck, I’m not gonna be chased off by an angry mob and be told I’ll never write fanfic in this town again!” Or at least eight people out of the entire rest of the internet aren’t willing to revoke my fanfic writing license yet, haha.

And even writing this part, having a better idea of what folks have liked in the prior ones, it’s still fucking terrifying! And I know that’s my stupid OCD. Because so much of my self-worth is tied up in wanting to write well, be it fanfic or otherwise. And I KNOW it shouldn’t matter so long as I’m having fun! BUT STILL. My therapist would say something at this point like “but you’re having fun aren’t you” or “you have four other parts that show people have enjoyed what you wrote so far, so what are the odds this is the one that makes them all rethink that stance?” And all I have to say in reply is “ocd go brrr!”

But that’s why I post about this shit on here. Because it’s embarrassing but also because I am making myself confront my brain gremlins when they want to pull me down. ╰( °ㅂ°)╯ Because OCD feeds off of fear/insecurity/shame and by confronting it in a semi-public forum I’m making myself acknowledge it (NOT AVOID!) and defuse it! Instead of just tying myself into increasingly intricate mental knots.

EASIER SAID THAN DONE BUT IT’S SOMEHOW WORKED THIS FAR, SO…. _(┐「ε:)_

…well, I went from having no ETA whatsoever for part five to having already written 1k for it today, so…it might be finished sooner than I thought…

Tho I’m going to be out of town this weekend, so it probably won’t be up this weekend.

Assuming I somehow master the art of self control during that time…

I still gotta edit this upcoming week’s BG3 chapter too… Do not wanna cut it down to the wire again.

…lord help us all…