#but I’m pretty sure this is B if he’s talking to Data and Lore!

[mostly-natm]

Hmm…giving me a run for my money guessing who this is! B-4?

[sewerpalette]

Little rant I might make a video out of:

Edit: disclaimer I wrote this directly after waking up so it’s very awkwardly paced and hard to read I’m so sorry.

AL-AN is not a good person, now I’ll start this off with saying that I looove his character, especially before the rewrite and this certainly isn’t an attack on anyone, just something I’d like to point out because I think the shift of perspective between both games is fascinating.

If anyone remembers the subnautica fandom before Below zero was even remotely announced, there were certain opinions flying around, people believed the architects to be the grand villain(s) in the bigger picture of the game lore for just how messed up they were, they literally hated those guys for being at fault of the sea emperors suffering and there were even theories going around that they made the kharaa to wipe out all other life around them- but it had went wrong.

But now it’s not like that anymore, no AL‘s previous actions are completely ignored because he showed some remorse for being responsible for the deaths of 7 architects specifically, together with messing up before pretty much an audience of billions, it must’ve been embarrassing- but when he apologizes he specifically only mentions the other architects, because he isn’t sorry for the other things he’s done, clearly. I mean dissecting a fetus is one thing, especially with their goal in mind, DISPLAYING it is another, like that’s just purposely gruesome. Together with all the other dissected experimented on animals in the shelves just hung up like prizes (I know the concept itself is not inhumane, but in this case it just wasn’t necessary.) also research specimen THETA anyone? Yeah we know it didn’t die because of the facility collapsing because there’s no injury displayed on its bones that would suggest that, and that part of the facilities insides also didn’t collapse, they just left it there until it either succumbed to the virus or starved to death, same with the sea emperor but they survived, kept alive by unfinished business for the next couple thousand years. Not to mention who the fuck comes up with a quarantine program that includes semi sentient killer machines and a giant gun made to shoot anything down from atmosphere, there were so many better solutions, I get the warper thing, I mean kill anything that’s infected makes sense, but the gun?? Literally why, if they send a signal through the network that this planet is diseased nobody is going to go there (we know that at that point humans weren’t advanced enough to travel space and they knew that so for who was that even for??) it was completely unnecessary to create a giant weapon in wich even more destructive weapons are stored wich let me get into that real quick because there’s also some implied stuff there, appearently AL was so desperate to get rid of his mistake that he attempted to blow up a doomsday device?? (Which would’ve destroyed most of the solar system in an instant.) In the entry it says it malfunctioned so they must’ve tried to use it, and even if they didn’t why would they have it on them anyways? Including all the other weapons. Also let’s talk about the architects in the little sanctuaries in the first game, it’s implied they stored multiple souls in like one of them, literally cramped up all their data whilst AL stored himself in a big ass sanctuary like idk man that’s kind of an asshole move. And those were just the first game events! (And there’s probably even more there.)

In BZ he can’t really do anything except for talk to robin because he doesn’t have a physical form, so there’s less to go off here but even then it didn’t seem like there were other sanctuaries in BZ for the other architects. and sure, you could make the arguement that architects don’t feel at all connected to their physical forms, wich is true, but don’t you think seeing a dead architects body, an architect from his team, a colleague, would illicit some kind of emotion from him beyond “great, now fetch me their skin.” (/j) even if he doesn’t see the attachment to the vessel, if it’s all that’s left from that time and from the crew, there would still be projected attachment onto it realistically. Also he was smart enough to hide himself from alterra because he guessed they didn’t have good intentions- scraping himself off the grid both physically and on any radars they had (presumably with hallucinations), but wasn’t smart enough to distract the critters running around infront of the sanctuary to idk get the help he needed with the failing sanctuary from the mercury, marg, or the alterrans that genuinely wanted to help instead of being eaten by sharks right infront of it.

Like man I love you but that’s just messed up.

And we know he knows he messed up, that’s why he’s so gloomy and does attempt to apologize at the end but like??? He said he wanted to make amends to his people showing that he still doesn’t care about everybody else he hurt, only those he deems as important, not the over 150 people that died on the aurora or the mercury or the degasi or the sunbeam or the research specimens or even the alterrans he’s indirectly caused death to, it is all his fault but he doesn’t see these people as important because he feels they are below him - sure you could make the arguement that he didn’t know about the ships that crashed, fair point. But seemingly he did if he could sense that alterra was there without even seeing alterrans in the first place, especially because Ryley has made contact with the thermal plant and other architect tech before, so he’d definitely know- especially based on the data robin has of the missing sunbeam and aurora incident on her PDA wich he has canonically said he read through.

And I’ll say it again I love AL, next to Bart he’s probably my favorite subnautica character in the whole game series, but I don’t like the portrayel of him suddenly being completely redeemed or being an inherently good person, he still doesn’t understand empathy or morals (you can be a good person without having those, don’t get me wrong.) and acts like a total idiot whilst victimizing himself, like yes, the other architects on the mission died and it’s his fault, they weren’t stored to keep him company and that’s his fault; neither did they like him, wich is very fair in my opinion. He can’t pull all this crap, disobey orders and get everybody killed and then pull the “but I’m sad about it so that erases everything I’ve done” like oh my god. I like him, but I would also like more content showing all this.

Sorry this was a very long kinda pointless rant and I don’t have any images because my phone which has like a whole folder of these is at home and we’re still stuck in England so it’ll have to do without for now.

TLDR: I want more morally dubious AL please and also he killed a fetus (well pretty much borderline newborn at that point) so he’s going into the fictional child murderer category for me.

[phoebehalliwell]

Piper/Kyle, except it's an AU where Kyle's parents were never killed by demons, so he lived a perfectly normal, happy childhood and grew up to follow their footsteps into teaching and Kyle's a normal, maybe even a little boring archaeology professor who secretly dreams of having his very own Indiana Jones moment - up until the day he opens some dusty old chest and unleashes a demon that tries to kill him, and he barely gets away only to run into this petite brunette woman who proceeds to blow the demon the fuck up, and Kyle's never believed in love at first sight before, but he's pretty sure he can make an exception for Piper

wait omg mentally stable kyle au okay wait i gotta wrap my head around this kyle but not absofuckinlutely insane whatta picture omg. okay. i feel like he’s still gotta have this belief in the supernatural i feel like that’s a large part of the charm in literally any kyle dynamic with the sisters is Witch Who Gets It and Man Who’s Only Got Raw Data. there’s an appeal to that. seeing things from different angles all that. so we can say kyle ever good at puzzles has taken his parents notes and everything he knows and various texts and kinda pieced together okay magic does exist. but in this au he’s a professor and not an fbi agent so he can’t just walk around saying Magic Is Real because um he needs this job. also he’s never seen it. but like. the data does not like. like. like it’s real man like are you kidding me. and we’ll say he has one normal friend because he’s normal in this au and he’s like okay here me out tho magic is real and his friend is like ......okay. because like. it could be, i guess? i’m not gonna fight you on this. and kyle also definitely read a lot as a kid he reads a lot now and he’s always kinda like. like you know wondered what it might be like to be a man of action not someone stuck behind a desk all day seeing the world through books. so when he starts to see markers of the gathering storm,,, well. these are the times that make a man. he can either be a pussy about it and keep living his life through paper and ink, or he can follow his intuition. blah blah blah this leads him to get kidnapped by pirates which like. excuse me??? and kyle’s kinda kicking himself because he Wanted to be like a character in an adventure book and well like bada bing bada boom you get what you ask for. which. all due respect on his part. is smart enough to outwit them and escape. he might have dropped his wallet there tho. but when he goes back the same route wandering through the thick fog, all he finds is a solid wall of rock. so i guess he’s fucked in that regard. whoops. but!! magic is real. so that’s a dub. digs a little bit more into the blackjack cutting lore, maybe finds the x marks the spot on where their main hideout was, road trip to. seattle? i guess? port city that isn’t san francisco but is more reasonable to drive to that like. nola or boston. and lo and behold he finds it and find their documentation of the gathering storm accidentally trips a booby trap and jesus fucking christ pirate skeletons with sword which - respectfully - kyle is holding his own for the most part, not getting immediately worried, but there’s no way that would have lasted had the three skeletons not been blown to pieces. and he looks over and sees three brunettes and the one in the center is like who the hell are you? to which kyle really feels like He should be the one asking that question but after stammering out some kind of response about how he’s a professor and he was just looking for some soil samples something generic archaeological because hey. he doesn’t trust these women. he doesn’t know what side they’re on. and he’s not just gonna sacrifice the information he has on the gathering storm. and it’s obvious they don’t believe him, but they don’t kill him either. instead, the one in the center just says be more careful where you leave your stuff and tosses his wallet back to him.

and later at the manor paige is like we just let him go?? and phoebe’s like yeah how to we know he’s not a demon? he wouldn’t be the first to pose as a mortal in the mortal world (because phoebe went to the university to return kyle’s wallet because like it has is ID in it employee id all that under the guise of like. giving a lecture to some of the student’s there as the bay’s leading advice columnist oh hey is there a kyle brody here yeah haha he’s a friend of a friend anyone seen him no he’s on vacation right now? left real abruptly? and then immediately went into his office and touched every surface trying to get a premonition (au in which phoebe didn’t get her powers stripped) and concluded that he’s just Some Guy. like he like has friends and a nine to five and an apartment. so a guy). but piper’s like we don’t know. but we also don’t know what he’s up to or what his connection to the pirates was, which is why i cast a tracking spell on the wallet. and both phoebe and paige approve and in this au again phoebe didn’t get her powers stripped so in styx feet under it’s her and paige on mission and as paige is the one who cast the protection spell and as paige is also very stubborn and also refuses to let innocents die she is the one who gets to become death. she also has a very compelling relationship with death because like. she watched her parents die. and she’s prue’s replacement. the replacement for the dead girl. also fun paige/prue parallel! meanwhile right Should state in any piper/kyle au we just extend pleo’s divorce era by having him remain an elder and keeping that early s6 vibe. so piper’s definitely like a bit more neurotic than normal because you know things haven’t gone great for her and those pirates were warning about the gathering storm and honestly that better not be something that’s gonna hurt her boys because she really could not bear to lose another family member so she’s doing some digging which begins to imply that kyle knows more that he let on so where is he now? the university? great.

and kyle’s you know minding his own business in his office when the same woman practically kicks down his door and is like alright i’m gonna ask again who the hell are you and this time you better answer me honestly. to which: wow. like wow. she’s. she’s a force to be reckoned with and also kinda immediately gains points in kyle’s book for like a) kinda confronting him about knowing more because he’s pretty good at covering his tracks all that so if he’s been Found Out it’s by someone good and b) she also disintegrated evil pirate skeletons so like. 👍. But. he does not trust her for shit. no. absolutely not. he has no reason to. but piper’s not yielding blasts a hole in the wall near his head like quickly now or next time i won’t miss but kyle’s so fuckin stubborn he’s like 🤐 and piper’s. i mean, she can’t kill an innocent. she doesn’t know if that’s who he is, but she can’t run that risk. and kyle’s not saying shit, so she leaves.

then it’s the guardian angel episode where the charmed ones are there on instruction (though they don’t know what they’re looking for. maybe they were just scrying for information) and kyle’s there on a hunch and piper and kyle see each other and it’s um. mac charlie see each other from across the room reaction image. both like. what the fuck are you doing here? and in this one paige is still the one to get her guardian angel stolen and piper’s immediately on high alert because you know big sister/mom mode activated. but they don’t know what they’re looking for and kyle’s like it’s her guardian angel. and piper once again snaps to him firey look in her eyes but kyle’s really just trying to place nice here so he’s like guardian angels. they’ve been going missing being stolen whatever. he’s got the research on it. and piper doesn’t want to trust him but paige is really in grave danger. so, as the sister with the offensive power, she’s going with kyle, and phoebe has to make sure paige doesn’t like. pull a grams. (which for the record i do not accept prewitched as canon but like the elders definitely killed grams <3)

so blah blah blah piper’s now and kyle’s place which is ten times worse than his office because this is where he does his real work and he’s got all the guardian angel shit up and out and is explaining it to piper and it’s making sense but what catches her eye is something on the gathering storm that kyle left out now they’re talking about that they’re starting to realize they’re on the same side. blah blah blah save paige. next episodes what werewolf episode. skip. then!! idk paige still runs magic school right so she’s in the library and she calls piper and she’s like hey remember when you told me to keep an eye out on the gathering storm? and piper’s like yes yeah what is it? and she’s like well we’re inventorying the library and we have books on them and piper’s like that’s good news ! ? and paige is like yeah but we’re missing one. book five. in this something something series. and piper knows Exactly where that book is because she fucking saw it on kyle’s kitchen counter. so now she’s barging into kyle’s place which is getting to be a common occurrence at this point and kyle kinda wants to complain but this is by far the most interesting his life’s been ever and honestly? he’d be kinda bummed if piper stopped kicking down his door. wait actually scratch that you want my book no fuck you changed my mind. to which piper’s like look we’re looking for the same goal here right so give me the book because i have the rest of the series and this could be the missing puzzle piece and kyle’s like okay fine i’ve read the book cover to cover give me the rest of the series and i’ll get you your answers and piper’s like okay let’s get things straight here i’m the witch you’re some two bit archeology professor so when it comes to the handling of sacred magical tomes i’ll be taking the reigns here and kyle’s like fine then you won’t be taking the book. and piper’s like wanna bet and the next think kyle knows he’s hearing the door slam his book’s gone and he’s hearing tires peel out onto the street and he has no idea how she did it. 

back at the manor piper’s got her reading glasses on an volume one open and god this fucking sucks. so she makes phoebe take a stab at it and she hates reading it too. paige also starts it and is like respectfully no. piper’s the only one who did the reading in high school. this is her turf. but my god she cannot make it through all eight of these fucking books. So. she calls kyle. he has to come to the manor because there’s no way she’s giving him the books and there’s no way she’s letting him in magic school so. hi. welcome to the house. but!! by a contrived plot device!!!! a gnome has been shot in magic school this book was the only thing at the scene and paige wants to investigate further but she can’t just leave it out there so she brings it back to the manor she’s gonna cast some spell to find out if there are already spells on the book how to reverse it she just needs to find the spell first and like. there’s no way in hell paige ever wears an outfit with big enough pockets to keep the book on her. so she leaves it on the table. to which kyle asks how this is relevant to the collection. to which piper says don’t open that!! whoops. see, this is why i said we don’t let two bit archeology professors near magical books! piper/kyle charmed noir..............

[jaeyleo]

That is!! So cool!!! So, Ethos is in the past and doing tests and stuff on the egos? Very Interesting. What are the other egos like? Or Ethos? I am very very interested for this idea!!

thank you so much!! i’m glad you do!!

lemme just note that @florenceisfalling was a big help in getting some lore and other things set up so big huge kudos to them thank u thank u !!

all six boys are as follows, note, i’m still developing their personalities so they may change later on! this is just so far:

jameson: he/him, straight and asexual. was taken from the 1920s into 2020 to test with the others. he has limited time powers, for example he can rewind one full day, or jump forward one full day. once he jumps forward though he is unable to go back. anyway! he’s pretty serious and just a little bit grumpy most of the time, he doesn’t like it here. jamie is very skilled with knives and guns and fists, and is fascinated by ethos even though at first, he hates their guts. jameson softens up over time, but for the most part hes pretty grumpy and just wants to read his books, and spends a lot of his days missing his own time. very protective of jackie.

chase: he/him, straight (?). the most easy going of the group. very soft spoken and extremely empathetic. he was the first to break through ETH- 05’s coding and get them to show some sort of emotion, and he was a BIG help in getting the others to actually like ethos. chase is always trying to make everyone laugh, keep their hopes up, but internally he is extremely afraid he won’t get to see his wife and child again. he has depression, but ethos makes sure he gets his prescribed medication to make his life at least a LITTLE easier on him. he and henrik are extremely close as they knew each other before they came to the clinic.

henrik: he/him, gay. henrik is ALWAYS trying to take care of the others along w chase, especially after appointments. he often forgets to take care of himself because of this. henrik has a lot of trouble sleeping, often has random panic attacks and has undiagnosed OCD. he is very kind and patient, but he’s always worrying about something. you can find him running around the clinic during the day checking the medication, checking on the egos, etc. if he doesn’t have something to focus on he will get extremely anxious so if he says he’s gonna take ur vitals for the third time today he’s gonna take ur vitals for the third time today.

jackie: he/they, gay. youngest of the group at 19, hes very bubbly and warm and pretty chill! he’s laid back most of the time, but it’s very easy to make him laugh as he kinda has that gen z humor where if u show tbem a picture of a can of beans that’s over saturated and says “B E aNS 👁👁” theyre gonna lose it. same w chase. anyway he has a few powers, he can do a little telekinesis, can (weakly) control water and metal, and is oddly ODDLY lucky. like theyve always got a four leaf clover on them or somethin. hes pretty brave, and is learning how to fight properly from jameson! catch them sparring while henrik goes !!!!!!!!!! when jamie knicks jackie’s cheek with a knife.

marvin: he/him, pansexual. FTM transgender! marvin is kinda the leader of their group, well, except for ethos. he is VERY clever, very quick on his feet, and holds far too many secrets. definitely very mysterious. marvin is very confident and has a soft voice, strong, and enjoys singing little songs ! he has powerful POWERFUL magic, including hypnosis, various spells, he can make plants grow/heal/die, bend light, water, and shadows, and many other things. he’s been studying for a very long time. he also is able to talk to and sense ghosts and other supernatural things ! marvin is by far the most stoic of the group, and although he may seem like a tough guy, he deep down loves the group sssoooo much, and would put his life on the line for all of them. both he, jameson, and jackie all have a second chip inside their skin which prevents them from using their magic unless permitted. if they try to use more than allowed, it will give them an electric shock until they stop. ethos has lowered their restrictions on magic once they complained of it building up, but they still are not really allowed to do much with their magic anymore :/

ethos: he/they/she/it, ethos wasn’t programmed to be a certain gender. and aro/ace, as most robots are in this future as they weren’t made for romantic love! hes kind of a prototype? a new kind of android the future hasn’t tested much on bc they were very eager for the creation of the perfect being. ethos starts out as very quiet and cold, he doesn’t know much about the egos’ personalities so he can’t do much w them. this changes as time goes on. because he wasn’t tested much, he can feel emotions if taught them, this mostly includes observing humans. since his creation hes been very lonely, and taught he is lesser than humans so a lot of times he’ll comfort himself by saying poetry or going through files or something. (thanks flora for giving the idea of ethos just babbling to himself at night when he feels his most sad or lonely!) ethos doesn’t smile or laugh, and when he does it’s either him mimicking one of the boys to make them comfortable or it’s genuine and he smiles for a second and then it goes back to normal. it’s a little odd to look at. anyway he doesn’t enjoy giving appointments, in fact he’ll go against coding once in a while and fake the data so the boys don’t have to suffer. this is bad news for ethos! which i will explain more on later :3 overall hes very sweet and comforting and just wants people to be safe. he loves taking care of people, especially when they’re sick so if one of the boys is sick it’s usually both ethos and henrik fussing over them in their own ways.

sorry this is so long!! also ethos’s is rushed cos i gtg to work but i’ll explain more on this if y’all would like, thank u guys for the interest!

[breezy-cheezy]

Mmmmmkay I have to rant about Nier: Automata for a bit; I accidentally triggered the end of the game (playthrough 2, ending B) last night and stayed up till 2:00 trying to finish the stupid “not allowed to save” phase. But y’aLL IT’S SO GOOD??????? AND 3RD PLAYTHROUGH ISN’T ANOTHER RE-RUN OF THE SAME STORY WE GET MORE STORY AAAAAAAAA

(more under the cut because there is ALOT for those who care;;;;;)

- OK SO THE MUSIC IS AMAZING??? I love LOVE that the music dynamics build in instruments and intensity as you progress towards danger/plot, but also softens again for quieter moments and just...musical storytelling is so sooooo my jam I love it. Also that the music goes 8 bit when 9S hacks stuff, it’s actually kinda cute X’D

- ON THE SUBJECT of 9S being able to hack into enemies and you getting to play that as a little teeny ship shooting down viruses and barriers and whatnot. Genius???? That added SO MUCG to the story on the second playthrough as 9S. Particularly discovering the fact that all of humanity?? Is actually extinct?? ...even BEFORE the aliens/machines attacked earth?? WH A T?????? WHAT THE HECK ARE ANDROIDS FIGHTING FOR THEN????? *every time an android salutes and says “glory to mankind” now* GLORY MY FOOT THEY ALL DEAD MOVE ON--

-  I realize it probably has alot to do with the lore of previous nier games and I’ll probably have to trawl through Wiki pages soon here. Emil himself really broke my heart aaaaaah baby...his side quest is so sad. I also looked at arts and he was a really cute kid?? Before he was turned int the freaky moon skeleton thing...?? Oh my goodness......

-  The secret lunar tear flower room is gorgeous. I just sat there for awhile to soak it all in...the music is so nostalgic and I’ve never heard that song bfore how do y’all DO THAT--

- Emil’s shop is pretty cute. He just drives around the ruins and sells stuff if you shoot him and he’ll stop X’’’D It did ruin alot of serious moments tho. *Engels, talking about how he’d sinned for killing so many androids and choosing death--* “S-A-L-E SAAAALLLEEE~~!! EVERY SALE’S A WIIIINNNNNN~~~~!!!! LALALaaaaaa~~~...” Me: *facepalm* 

- ...I just realized the little tune he sings is a cheerful rendition of the music in the flower room. H E C K

- ANYWAY. Onto the actual game. I really really enjoyed playing as 9S for obvious reasons (bABY) but it really did add so soooo much to the pretty much surface level story when you first play as 2B. Which sums them up pretty well...2B, Battle unit 2, pushes on relentlessly, avoids thinking too hard about things and what she’s doing because oh dear, EMOTION might get in the way...9S, Scanner unit 9, on the other hand, cannot stop his curiosity. He asks questions, he sticks his nose in way further than he should to some dangerous stuff. I think he realized Machines were sentient and had feelings long before 2B, but was in denial for a good while. You learn so much more about what you’re fighting as 9S, because he scans. He observes, searches, discovers. Heck, some hacking caused him to experience empathy for the poor things, to his horror...

- Actually, there are alot of scenes where either 2B or 9S questions why a machine they’re killing is screaming for help, of crying for lost family, or loudly proclaiming loyalty to a king they’ll give their lives for...they stop for a moment, but the other quickly jumps in and reminds them that it’s just imitation. It’s not real, it’s fake, machines can’t feel, yadda yadda...it was odd to me they kept switching off on reminding, but...I think they both know, deep down, what they’re doing. But denial. Because if machines DO have feelings, if they are sentient...what does that mean for all they’ve killed...? Just...hoo BOY the moral dellimas in this game?? Scary good. The quests get that across alot.

- I don’t like the theme of hopelessness in most of the side quests?? I do see many of them as cautionary tales though. We watch many characters lose hope and the will to live after their thing/person they’re living FOR is gone. It makes me worry alot about 2B, who is a soldier through and through. 9S actually does have hopes and dreams for things outside of the war, which I love ;7; they definitely lean on each other alot emotionally on this respect though...I don’t know quite what to make of the themes of the game this far in yet;;;; 

- The love between 9S and 2B is of course my favorite thing. Familial, romantic, idk. I, being me, see it as more platonic, “You’re my rock in this storm” only friend/sister/brother vibe, but as more of a fan of platonic relationships, that is what I tend to do. But 9s following 2B around like a lost puppy and trying to do all he can to help and do his job but also getting bored with said job and trying to make the most of things, asking all the “why” questions, 2B acting irritated but also always keeps him close and makes sure he’s safe....going ballistic when someone hurts her boy ;;v;; I love...2 kids. Their operators and pods are such fun dynamics too~~ 

- As far as endings A and B...DANG. It hit worse because you get backstory on the giant ocean machine (that 9S just hit with a giant missle, which he also had to ride to keep it on the right path...DX NO SELF PRESERVATION) he just...wanted his mama......;;A;;

- Also it’s not fair. 9S is so injured by that missle attack, then I guess Adam finds him and is like “HM. *sticks the lil boy impaled on a wall* Perfect. *proceeds to emotionally and mentally torture said child*“ like YO ADAM THAT’S NOT HOW YOU DO THINGS. Then 2B proceeds to kick down walls for her boy and kills Adam and walks off carrying 9S bridal style into the sunset. Lovely. I have a comic idea for this part, lol.

- Oh I don’t like Adan very much, he is pretty tho?? There was alot of blood though...how do machines bleed?? How do the androids bleed?? What??? I question this alot. 

- HHHHHHH THE BECOME AS GODS CHAPTER SCARED ME I DON’T EVER WANNA DO THAT AGAIN DANG SUICIDAL ROBOTS SCARED ME SO BAD

- Fighting Eve was...annoying but still heartbreaking. He misses his brother so much....even though Adam is a butthead and couldn’t care less he left his little brother behind DX just everything about that fight was Tragic. Also Eve developing more self awareness and realizing “Eve” is a girl’s name and being a bit miffed LOL that’s what y’all get when your first book is the bible kiddos...I realize they’re technically like what? 2 weeks old still???

- The ENDING. From 9S’s perspective is especially scary....the corruption transforming him, 2B coming in to kill him to stop the pain, he BEGGED her to, just....hhhhhhh babies ;;A;; 2B’s soft broken crying over him as she’s forced to strangle her only friend to death just aaaaaAAAAAAAA I DIE ;;;;;;;;~;;;;;;;;;

- I was actually able to cry over it this time coz. It was 2 am. No parent awkwardly watching over my shoulder. Because the pose for this scene is...........super awkward..........like......really........their clothes are super torn up and uh. The first time I was just hoping my parents wouldn’t mistake it for a sex scene or something hhhhhghhhhh;;;;;; I really really REALLY wish the pose was different, the game does need to give the fanservice a rest, at LEAST for a scene this serious DX I’m able to ignore it but when someone else is watching I don’t wanna have to explain;;;;

- That IS a big gripe I have with the game. The fanservice. Just. Why. How is 2B’s outfit practical?? Self destruct mode???? REALLY???? Get this girl battle shorts or something please.....I guess if I looked at it more as a ballet outfit?? I might make some edits when I draw her because GEEZ.

- 9S gets some of this too. Self destruct mode, his shorts are blown off???? WHAT THE HECK???? Welp, never using that again. also why is he the only yorha boy android??????????? X’’’’D They never explain that!!

- BACK TO ENDING STUFF why were there random data hologram girls standing there, watching 2B strangle 9S?? Just...silently there...they weren’t there in the first playthrough?? I’ve seen them a couple times but they’re NEVER mentioned?? WHAT ARE THEY-- is it a glitch?? Wha--

- Teeny 9S being able to dump his consciousness into a giant machine robot guy and cradling 2B in his hand ;;~;; he’s fine y’all I’m so GLAD (I wanna draw something for this scene.... I wanna draw alot of things) 

- I love Pascal. He should adopt all the sad people to his happy peace village. He already started that...what a good egg. 

- The accessories option is lovely. I’ve been running around with 9S with a blue bow in his hair forever now ;7; replaced with the flower in his hair because BOYS AND FLOWERS I LOVE but I think I might give the flower to 2B because she’d look lovely with it and....I miss the blue bow X’D

 - Also the AMOUNT of things this could line up with a KH universe....as far as how androids work, hearts (black boxes), memories making you...you, being able to transfer “hearts” to new bodies when the old is destroyed, POWER OF LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP...there’s alot. I dunno what to do with this info...

Anyway, I have alOT of thoughts and feelings on this game, it’s like...a very cool book. I’ve had trouble putting down. These aren’t even all of them but idk who I can actually rant to so here it is for the Void

I’m so interested to see where it goes! 

[servetolive]

Data/B4 - Marriage of convenience

had to get drunk to write this too. fluff and family arguments and general fluffy shit. also, LONG AS FUCK

Data and Maddox greeted each other amiably in his office, reaching for each other’s hands to shake.

“Captain Maddox now, is it not?” 

“Yes, that’s right,” Maddox beamed. “Thanks in part to your brother.” 

“You are making progress in your research?”

“Yes, indeed. Hello, Lal.” He nodded to Lal, who was, for some reason, smiling broadly. She curtsied in her dress. “You’re here for your visit, I presume?”

“Not exactly,” Data explained. “I have come to collect B4.”

Maddox frowned and moved away slightly. “Collect? This is the first I’ve heard of it.”

“I apologize for the short notice, Captain. B4 and I are to marry.”

Maddox blinked his eyes rapidly, shaking his head. 

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Under Federation Family Legal Code, 482.2 Section 6, paragraph 3, B4′s lack of personhood may be solved by marriage to a Federation citizen.”

The expression on Maddox’s face transformed from disbelief, to shock, to horror, to deep resentment.

“But you’re…” His breath caught in his throat. “He…”

“I understand it is an odd arrangement, but it is one that I find necessary to prevent abuse.” His eyes darted to and fro for a moment before he corrected himself. “Not that you are a factor in that decision.”

Lal suddenly stepped forward and grabbed Maddox–who she had only met once before–excitedly by the elbows.

“He said ‘yes,’ Captain!” She squealed, jumping into the air. “We’re having a wedding!”

She spun on her toes and cried out again, “We’re having a wedding!”

“This is insane,” Maddox complained, pacing nervously–angrily–in his office. “Captain Picard, how could you allow this to happen?”

Picard stepped toward Maddox and leveled himself against him, despite the latter being at least a head taller than him. “Don’t even start. I was just made aware.”

“There has to be a law against this, somewhere.”

Deanna approached Maddox. “Is your opposition to this based on your own personal reasons,” she asked, “Or your belief that what they’re doing is unnatural?”

“Of course it’s unnatural!”

“They’re androids, Captain Maddox. Everything about them is… unnatural.”

Maddox gave her a condescending smile. “This is the United Federation of Planets, Counselor. Not West Virginia.”

Deanna started to roll her eyes before something stopped her. Her tense expression and the way she looked at Maddox was just enough to remind him that she was a Betazoid, and he balked as she began talking.

“Captain Maddox,” she said.

“Oh no,” he said, stepping away. “Please.”

“You’re jeal–”

The door slid open just in time. B4 to stepped in, arm and arm with his niece.

“Captain, Counselor,” he said, beaming. “Bruce. Have you heard?”

Picard pursed his lips as Deanna, smiling with her pretty red lips, stepped forward to place a hand on B4′s shoulders.

“I’m going to be a bride!”

Lal clapped her hands excitedly. 

“Yes, B,” Deanna said. “And I’m sure you’ll make a lovely one.” She turned to Data. “Data, congratulations!”

Data gave her a nod, and his odd, flat smile. “Thank you, Counselor.”

Horrified, Maddox backed away. 

“This is sick,” he grumbled, turning away towards his desk. “I’m calling JAG.”  

“A sound idea, Commander.”

“Captain.”

“Right.”

Deanna walked over to Picard with a concerned look as Maddox logged into his desk terminal.

“Captain,” she said, resting a hand on his shoulder. “You’re not opposed to the union, but you’re…. uncomfortable.”

Looking very uncomfortable, Picard sighed and tugged on the hem of his jacket. “My feelings rest on the what JAG has to say about it. Otherwise, I’m wholly indifferent.”

Data walked up next. “Then you will officiate at the ceremony, sir?”

Picard turned to Data like a deer in headlights.

The conversation with JAG ended with Maddox leaving the group with a disgusted “ugh,” exiting his own office altogether.

B4′s reunion with Lore aboard the Enterprise was cut short when Lal broke the news to him, explaining everything that happened in Maddox’s office.

“You’re what?!” Aghast, Lore looked at B4, then at Data. “Brother, are you insane?”

B4 cowered slightly. “Brother, aren’t you happy to see me?”

Data tilted his head. “No, I am not. This is a sound way for B4 to gain citizenship and full personhood in the Federation.”

Like a child, B4 frowned and tugged at Lore’s sleeve. “Brother.”

Lore ignored him. “Are you fucking shitting me? What is wrong with you two?”

Lal piped up, “Uncle, why don’t you marry? Then you can have citizenship too!”

“I don’t need or want Federation citizenship!” He dug into his pocket and pulled out a tiny PADD, waving it into the air. “I have a passport! Like normal people!”

“Normal,” Lal scoffed, pushing past the three to her room. “Lore arguing about normal; that’s the fucking day.”

“Hey, watch your fucking mouth!” Lore shouted as Lal’s door closed. He tore his hands through his hair and sat down on the couch. “The Old Man would have a shit fit.”

Data frowned. “Brother, you are making B4 cry.”

“What else is new?”

B4′s bottom lip quivered. Before he could burst into tears, he tore off toward Lal’s room and disappeared into it.

Lore was unconcerned and sat staring angrily at the table.

Annoyed, Data sat next to his older brother. “I do not understand your reaction, Lore. Clearly, based on our relationship, you do not disapprove of–”

“Yeah, okay, Data. So we fuck. Putting a ring on it is like ANNOUNCING to the whole galaxy that you’re fucking your brother.”

Data remained puzzled. “Why would you care?”

“You’re right! I don’t! I need a cigarette.” He stood up and went to the replicator. Data’s head followed him.

“Marlboro Lights, 100s.”

The replicator blipped and a pack of cigarettes in an ashtray appeared on the tray. Lore took them and furiously began to pack them against the palm of his hand.

“You are disappointed in me, Lore,” Data finally said.

“Yes, I am.” Lore tore the cellophane off and let it fall to the ground. “I don’t believe in marriage, D. B4 doesn’t know any better, but you know that. And I don’t believe you should have to do this in order for B4 to be accepted here.”

Data tilted his head. “What other option is there?”

Lore flopped back down on the couch, tossing the ashtray on the table, and flicking the nail up on his thumb to use as a lighter.

“Hey, here’s an idea!” He said sarcastically, mumbling around the cigarette. “How about we leave? Why do we have to stay in the Federation? They don’t seem to want us here!”

“I have a job here,” Data said.

“No, you don’t.” Lore blew smoke from his nostrils, and pointed at his chest. “I have a job; I make money. You are a volunteer Boy Scout.”

“Larceny is not considered a job in most societies, dear brother.”

Lore rolled his head over to give Data a dull look, before softening his eyes.

“Seriously,” he said quietly. “You, me, B4, Lal.” He brought the back of his free hand to caress Data’s jaw. “Fuck this place. Come with me.”

Data responded as he always did: leaning his mouth towards his brother’s hand.

“Don’t do this for them.” Lore pulled himself up and sat nearly nose to nose with his younger brother. “We can be whatever we want, away from here. We don’t need labels or anyone to tell us who we are or aren’t.”

Data appreciated the sincerity in Lore’s statement and voice. He placed a hand over his brother’s.

“I cannot, brother,” he said quietly. “I like it here.”

Lore sighed and flopped back against the couch. 

“This one?” 

B4 was sitting on the couch between Deanna and Lal, his chin propped up with his hands as he scanned dresses with Lal.

“I don’t like brown, Baby Girl.”

“Alright,” Lal pressed another button on the remote, and the holoprojector offered another dress: a champagne, chiffon gown that hid the shoulders.

“This one?”

B4 shook his head. “I don’t like that color either.”

Lore entered the room, with several PADDs in his hands.

“This one?” A teal, corsetted dress, reminiscent of 18th century French couture.

“The Captain may like that one,” Deanna said, smiling.

“What is this?” Lore asked grumpily, dumping the PADDs onto the table and sitting in the armchair adjacent to the others. He stiffened. “Are you picking out a dress, B?”

“No, mine,” Lal said.

“B4,” Deanna said, likely just to spite Lore. “Do you want to wear a dress?”

B4 opened his mouth, but Lore interrupted.

“No,” he said, sneering at Deanna. “No dress.”

“I’m the one getting married, Lore,” B4 huffed.

“If he wants to wear a dress, let him wear a dress,” Deanna scolded with a frown.

Lal squealed with delight and threw her arms around B4′s shoulders. “Oh my gosh! My uncle is getting married in a dress!”

She scrambled for the remote and entered a command into it, so that the hologram changed to elegant, pale colored gowns in the Western Earth style.

“No,” Lore ground out, snatching the remote away. “No goddamn dress.”

Deanna stood up to challenge Lore. “Lore…”

Lore stood his ground as B4′s face fell into his hands. “He wears a dress, and I’m out.”

“Why don’t we let B4 wear a dress for the wedding photos, and for the actual wedding, he wears a gentlemen’s jacket?” She lifted up an extra PADD, which was playing the centuries old music video to Tonight, Tonight, by The Smashing Pumpkins. “I’ve got a theme picked out and everything!”

“What’s the point of that?” Lore bellowed. “All the men are going to be wearing uniforms anyway!”

B4 lifted his head, eyes wet and yellow from tears. “Lore, please.”

Deanna put an arm around B4. “Lore,” she warned.

Lore took the first PADD and held it before him. “Fine,” he said. “Great. You guys get to sit around and pick out dresses, and I get all the shit work. Like invitations.”

“Uncle, don’t worry!” Lal said, chipper as ever. “I’ll pick out your suit.”

“I can’t fuckin’ wait,” Lore muttered.

The bridal party went on with their selections. Everyone worked in silence until Lore groaned loudly.

“Oh no,” he said, holding up the invitations list. “Maddox? B, please don’t invite this asshole.”

B4 looked sad, like a kicked puppy. “But, he’s my friend, Lore.”

“Best man?” He threw a hand up in quizzical disgust. “I thought Deanna was your… maid of honor, or whatever!”

Lal spoke up for her older uncle. “He’s a princess for a day, Lore. He gets to have both.”

“Great, well, what the fuck am I going to do!? Serve drinks?”

“Uncle, you’re walking me down the aisle!”

“But you’re the flower girl!”

B4 sighed, a couple of loose tears falling from his face. He wiped them away with his fingers and looked at the ceiling, waiting for the arguing to stop.

Deanna could feel Lore’s anxiety, and it was then that she decided not to antagonize him further. He was like any concerned family member, who agreed to go along with something that he was opposed to for the sake of his brothers.

“B4,” she said quietly. “You have grown quite close Maddox over the months.”

“Yes, Counselor.”

“Why don’t you have him walk you down the aisle?”

It took B4 a long time to think about an answer.

“But my father is supposed to walk me down the aisle.”

“In the event that the bride’s father is deceased,” Deanna explained, “It’s customary to have a surrogate father or trusted friend hand the bride off to the groom.”

B4 nodded. “Okay.”

She turned to Lore. “See, Lore? Problem solved.”

Lore pretended to be too busy to hear.

The bridal party met in Ten-Forward that night to discuss appearance and wear. Deanna led, while Beverly assisted. B4 mostly nodded and looked, nodding in approval.  Lal showed the women her ideas for the decorations, and the three were discussing which dresses of early Twentieth Century America would be most appropriate for a wedding when Maddox arrived, late and unenthusiastic.

B4 went to him. “Bruce!” He gave him a kiss on the cheek, that Maddox seemed confused by. “You came.”

“I…” He looked at the waiting ladies, whose smiles were radiant. It was strange to be welcome in an environment that had previously been so hostile to him.

“Of course I did, B.” He gave the android a reassuring smile. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Lal came up to him with a PADD, as Maddox sat at the bar to order a drink. 

“Okay, so,” she said, all business. “The theme is 1920s. Moons, stars, silent film, cut outs, all that. The civilian dress code is–”

“Count me out,” Maddox interrupted. He didn’t even look at the PADD, but drank from the glass the waitress set in front of him. “I’m wearing dress whites.”

Lal’s shoulders sagged, and she returned to Beverly and Deanna.

Maddox thought about it, and then turned to B4. “If that’s okay with you.”

“I’m just happy to be married.”

Maddox swallowed, almost coughing. “Yeah.”

B4 sat next to his friend and tilted his head. “You’re not happy, Bruce.”

He set down his drink. “B4,” he said, examining his fingers around the glass. “Do you understand the concept of marriage?”

B4 went silent for a moment, and Maddox could almost hear his processes whirring as he thought about the question.

“I think so, Bruce.”

Bruce cleared his throat and turned to him. “Tell me about it.”

B4 tilted his head in the opposite direction. “It’s when two people say they want to be together, and they’re happy.”

Bruce moved for his drink.

“It’s also when you have a big party, with cake and dresses, and all your friends and family and the people you love are there with you.”

That’s what Maddox was waiting for. “It’s more than just a party, B.”

B4 did not seem to understand.

“Were you married before, Bruce?”

The question caught him off guard. He opened his mouth to answer, but decided that divulging any information about his failed marriage to a woman who didn’t much care for him to begin with would not help.

“Yes, but that’s not the issue,” he said. “Do you… ugh, God.” He turned his eyes up to the ceiling, as if asking God for help before he was about to say what was on his mind. He took a drink of whiskey and went on. 

“Do you love your brother?”

“Of course I do!” The android answered too quickly, with a childlike smile. “Don’t you have brothers and sisters?”

Maddox shuddered deeply. “Look, B, we’re not talking about me.” He swung around in his seat to look B4 in his gold eyes, and took his shoulders in hand. “Do you love your brother enough to be with him forever? Does he love you that way?” He squeezed. “That’s the point of marriage, B.”

B4 looked around again, struggling to understand the two questions and their correlation with each other.

“I think so,” he said, simply.

Maddox sighed heavily, and ordered another drink. When it came, he lifted it towards B4 briefly. 

“I wish you all the best then,” he said, before knocking it back and exiting Ten-Forward.

Confused, B4 opted not to follow him, and returned to his bridal party.

“Data, are you sure about this?”

Data didn’t need help donning his dress whites, but Geordi certainly needed help getting into his era-specific clothes. Data was tying his bowtie around his neck with precision as Geordi held his neck up, looking into the mirror beside them.

“Sure about what,” Data asked. He looked at Geordi. “The bowtie?”

Geordi clucked his tongue. “No, no, Data. Marrying B4. I mean…”

Data finished, and Geordi looked in the mirror.

“Isn’t there another way? I mean,” he turned to his friend.

“Do you really want to do this?”

Data was not sure he understood the question, but considered his answer carefully.

“Geordi,” he said calmly. “You are a dear friend. I value and appreciate your concern.” He took a breath before continuing. “B4 is my brother. There are only four of us in existence. I would do anything for any of them to have the best quality of life that is available tot hem.”

Geordi’s mouth formed a line, as he exhaled through his nose and nodded.

“Nothing more needs to be said. Let’s get–”

The door chimed before sliding open, with Lore’s head popping in, adorned with a top hat.

“Hey, what are you two fags doing in here? Blowing each other?” He tore the cigarette butt from his mouth angrily and stomped on it in his shined shoes. He was dressed already–similarly to Geordi–and wearing a particularly rancid frown.

Sighing, Data moved past Lore, exiting his room. 

“Lore,” he said as he passed, “Must you be so vile?”

“Don’t you know we have a wedding to go to?” Lore scolded as Geordi pushed past him.

“B4, you’re not nervous, are you?” Deanna was affixing her headpiece into her hair, smoothing her burgandy dress with gloved hands. “I can’t really tell.”

B4 was looking into the mirror. He wasn’t smiling, and had no expression on his face at all, in fact.

“I have butterflies,” he said.

“Oh no, sweetie.” Beverly, dressed in silver as the mother of the bride with a black, netted veil covering her face from her ornate hat, came around to wear B4 was standing. “What’s the matter?”

“I should be wearing a dress,” B4 pouted. “Data will hate it.”

“What makes you say that?” 

“In all the pictures I’ve seen, the man wears what I’m wearing.” He looked down at his clean black suit and the buttons on his vest. “And the bride wears a pretty dress.”

Deanna clucked her tongue. “B4, don’t worry about that. That was a long time ago.”

Beverly was about to say that his family didn’t think he’d look good in a dress, but she thought better of it. “Besides, Data will think you look handsome. Won’t he, Deanna?”

“That’s right!”

The door chimed, and Lal hurried in, hardly able to fit through the sliding door with her extravagant dress. She was the most vivid of all of them; more so than the bride, with a feathered headpiece that seemed to ram into anything within two feet of her. 

“Sorry I’m late,” she said, with her basket in the crook of her arm, full of white roses. “Keiko’s rosebush had issues and we had to order them one by one.”

“Baby Girl, do I look fat in this?” B4 turned to his side, examining his coat tails.

“Oh, Uncle B, don’t start that! You look fantastic….”

Maddox, in his dress whites–as promised–leaned outside of B4′s door with one foot propped against the wall, trying his hardest to ignore the chatter inside.

Out of nowhere, Lore appeared, leaning next to him, hurriedly reaching into his pocket for something.

Maddox watched as he pulled a pack of cigarettes from his coat pocket and lit a cigarette. He had never met Lore before and found it strange to be in such close proximity to someone who looked identical to both Data and B4, but was so different. So human.

He held out his hand. “May I have one?”

Lore turned to him, looking as if he had only just noticed him there. He gave the man a cigarette and lit it for him.

Side by side, they stood, smoking quietly, until they heard the party giggling and approaching the door.

“Alright,” Lore said, taking the cigarette from his mouth. Maddox did the same, and they both dropped them and stomped them out, almost at the same time. 

“Let’s get this over with,” the android said, replacing his hat.

The music–”Lujon,” by Henry Mancini, for some odd reason–played, as Worf escorted Deanna out into the aisle.

Lal had done an excellent job with the decorations. She spent all night replicating patterns of moons and stars, cutting them out, and strategically placing them so that they mimicked their current position. She gave the holographer clear instructions on where and what to photograph, and when.

Deanna smiled as the two peeled off, approaching Data to give him a kiss on the cheek, as he waited alongside Geordi.

Lore and Lal were next, with the latter fussing over her hair and dress until the moment of step off. She hooked arms with her uncle, straightened herself out with her flower basket, and walked down the aisle as if she were the most important person there.

She winked at her father as she passed him. joining Deanna behind the Captain’s podium. Lore blew him a kiss and stood next to Worf, who had obvious trouble hiding his discomfort.

“Drop it, Klingon,” Lore whispered, sighing.

“I can’t!” Worf growled back, almost too loudly.

“Believe me, I’ve tried too,” Lore said.

“Are you ready, B?” Maddox said, preening over his previous charge as their cue approached.

“No.” He grabbed Maddox’s arm. “Bruce,” he said, anxiously. “What if I trip and fall?”

Maddox rolled his eyes and straightened himself up. “Don’t fall.”

“But Bruce,” he said again, pulling back on the human’s arm as he stepped off. “What if–”

“It’s too late for that now, B4,” Maddox whispered quickly. “Now, use your left foot!”

B4 looked down, trying to adjust his top hat at the same time. “Like this?”

“No, your other left!”

B4 panicked, but followed Bruce as the latter tapped his left foot in front of him loudly, and stepped off.

B4′s head swiveled as he looked around at the audience that lined the walkway. Bruce’s head remained straight towards his goal, Data and Geordi, as they made their way forward.

B4 locked eyes with his brother, and his mouth burst into a grin, despite his brother’s intense, stoic stare.

They passed the walkway without incident. As they approached, Geordi squeezed Data’s arm and moved away to stand with Lore and Worf.

B4 remembered to remove his hat as Maddox passed him to his brother; Maddox strategically took it with his other hand, and moved to stand with the rest of the groom’s party.

“Take care of him,” he whispered to Data as he passed.

Data spent a few nanoseconds trying to register the emotion in Maddox’s voice, before the Captain cleared his throat and began his speech.

B4 seemed happy, and excited. He smiled with his teeth as Data held his hands, and Picard delivered his speech–something about the trust of brothers, the felicity in union, so on and so on.

Dr. Crusher came prepared. She reached into her sleeve for a handkerchief and wiped tears away.

Lore wanted to be sick. 

“And now,” Picard announced. The entire room tensed up and leaned forward.

“You may kiss your partner. Congratulations.”

Data leaned forward into B4, obviously going for a chaste peck, as the room applauded. Instead, B4 opened his mouth, giving his brother a passionate kiss with his tongue, while the audience began to murmur and claps began to slow.

Lal looked around nervously, before slamming her hands together with fervor, and cheering them on. “Whoo! Yeah!” She said. 

It worked. The room followed her with strenuous applause, Data tapping B4′s arm for a full minute to tell him “enough,” before the older android let him go.

The dancing began, and that’s when Worf excused himself to his quarters. No one quite noticed. Ten Forward was full, as nearly the entire crew had decided to join in on the occasion.

Maddox was polite enough to watch the Bride and Groom have their first dance, as well as B4 and his niece, but afterwards, he went immediately to the bar and ordered a drink. When the bartender turned his back to make it for him, he simply reached over, pulled an entire bottle of liquor from behind the counter, and walked over to the large window, staring out at it as he drank slowly.

“Care to dance?” Lore said sarcastically as he walked up behind him. Although he didn’t really know Lore, Maddox seemed to know better than to acknowledge that he was joking, or to respond in jest. He simply laughed and moved over to make space for the android.

“So,” Lore said, lighting two cigarettes. “Why didn’t you marry him?” He handed one cigarette to Maddox, who took it, and then relieved Maddox of the bottle he carried, taking a long swig. “Would have saved us all this trouble.”

Maddox was quiet for a long while.

“I don’t believe in marriage,” he said.

Lore examined him, and took a drag of his cigarette.

“Looks like I’ve found a new friend,” he said more to himself than anyone else.

[pokemaniacal]

Pokémon Moon, Episode 10: In Which I Am Recruited To A Cultural Revolution

Apparently, just like many Pokémon… Professor Oak has an Alolan form.  He has dark skin, a mullet, and a Hawaiian shirt, his name is Samson rather than Samuel, and he claims to be a cousin of the Professor Oak I know from Kanto, but other than that he seems like exactly the same sanctimonious, incompetent, guilt-tripping whack-a-doodle that I’ve known for pretty much my entire life as a trainer.  Even better, it turns out that this version of him helped to build the Rotomdex, so the aggravating little thing basically worships the ground he walks on.  If he runs research projects anything like his “cousin” does, most of his data is probably gathered by unpaid teenage Pokémon trainers, so I thank my lucky stars he doesn’t seem to have any “requests” for me to take care of, then take my leave as abruptly as I can.  As it turns out, I needn’t have hurried; Lillie has been held up, talking to that woman with the Mudsdale, Hapu, whom I met back on Akala Island.  Still not sure what her deal is.  She’s clearly powerful and makes a point of giving out help and guidance as she travels, but she doesn’t wear a Captain’s wooden clover-shaped insignia, and I don’t think she’s a Kahuna either.  If anything, she acts a lot like Champions I’ve met in the past, but I’m not sure Alola even has a Champion.  I briefly consider tailing her instead, but decide against it: Lillie could accomplish all sorts of treachery with the forbidden knowledge of the Malie Library. I sneak inside behind her, discreetly ducking behind a shelf of magazines as she heads up the stairs.

Once I’m upstairs, peering at Lillie from a distance with my face hidden behind an open book, it becomes clear that she is meeting a contact here.  This slight, purple-haired girl, wearing a ragged, patchy dress, is named Acerola, and she’s wearing a Captain’s insignia.  The conspiracy must go far deeper than I imagined! From snippets of their conversation, I learn that Lillie seems to be seeking a legendary Pokémon called Lunala – “the beast that calls the moon,” who appeared after “the empty sky broke asunder.”  According to legend, Lunala “stole all heaven’s light,” forced the king of Alola to bow before it, and defeated all four of the Tapu guardians.  Then there’s something about “bringing the dark,” “casting a pall on the line of kings,” and “marking the path for all finished things,” fairly standard doom-cult stuff, but then a reference to some sort of mystic union between the moon and sun, which brought new life to Alola.  The line about the sky breaking asunder must refer to an Ultra Wormhole, and Lunala must be an Ultra Beast – one who conquered Alola in ancient times, cut off the entire region from the light of the sun, moon and stars, and ended a great dynasty of Alolan monarchs, forcing the new line of kings to worship it so it would spare their people.  It’s worse than I feared!  Lillie wants to summon a terrible legendary Pokémon to cover the entire archipelago in darkness and crown herself Empress of the Unfathomable Night!  I must uncover more details of her plan, so someone who actually cares can stop her!

Or. I mean.  I guess I could do it.  If no one else will.

Lillie remains ensconced in the library, hunting forbidden lore, and once she stops talking to Acerola I can’t easily observe her activities without alerting her, so I quietly exit the library and head out of Malie City to explore.  I’ve beaten two out of four Kahunas now, and according to Professor Kukui there’s another Captain up on Mount Hokulani, so I may as well go for it.  I acquire a couple of new evolutions – the Alolan Ghost Marowak, the Alolan Persian (who has an odd, deformed-looking spherical head), and Steenee, the evolved form of Bounsweet, a ballerina-like fruit Pokémon who is fast shaping up to be this generation’s exemplar of “Grass Pokémon don’t get nice things.”  South of Malie City, I also discover an entirely new Pokémon – Komala, a blue-grey Normal-type koala Pokémon.  It doesn’t seem to evolve, and its stats are by no means exceptional, and it’s mostly interesting because of a peculiar ability: Comatose.  Komala is perpetually subject to the “drowsy” status inflicted by Yawn, but never actually falls asleep; this effectively confers immunity not only to sleep but to all major status conditions.  I eventually decide to head along the west road to the base of Mount Hokulani, where there should be a stop on the bus route to the summit.  I notice as I approach the bus stop that there are two people waiting already… and then that those two people are Team Skull grunts; B, whom I originally met in Hau’oli City, and the same guy who was with him at the Ruins of Life.  Well, this isn’t so bad; maybe if I can get to know them in a less antagonistic situation, we can build a rapport and… 

…wait, are they… trying to steal the bus stop?

“What? You never see somebody take a bus stop to go before?” the second grunt asks bluntly when he notices me staring. “…honestly? No.  No I have not.”  The bus stop has no shelter or seats; it’s literally just a road sign, with a heavy concrete base buried in the ground to prevent… well, exactly this, as far as I can tell.  Both Team Skull grunts are scrabbling in the dirt around the base, trying to dig it out so they can carry it off.  “Um… do you… need some help with that?”  B looks up at me, confused. “Hey, yo! You trying to steal our bus stop?” he accuses me.  “Best go find your own, ya hear?!” “Yeah, fo’ shizzle!” the other grunt declares.  “It’s on, yo!”  He gets to his feet and calls out his Raticate. “Look, guys, I don’t… can we seriously not do this?  I don’t care, I just- WHOA!” I dodge as the Raticate lunges at me, and send out my Dartrix, who makes short work of it with a couple of Razor Leaf barrages. “Dang, I lost?”  He looks dismayed at first, but then perks up.  “Then my homie’s gotta fight you!  That’s just life in Team Skull.”  B reaches for his Pokéball, and I turn towards him. “Dude, please don’t make me do this; I’d feel like I’m kicking a Togepi…” B stamps his foot angrily. “We stand up even to the strong, yo!” he shouts.  “We stand up, even if it ain’t for long, yo!”  I blink.  That… actually sounds kind of brave.  I mean… it’s a bit weird to take a stand like this over a bus stop, but hey, baby steps. I smile at him. “That’s the spirit.  Game on!” I send out my Slowpoke.  B throws his Pokéball, and a Golbat emerges.  My smile broadens.  “Huh; your Zubat evolved!  Maybe we can make a half-decent trainer out of you yet!”  B glares back. “Yo, we prattlin’ or we battlin’?” he demands.  Well, someone’s got something to prove.  I shrug, and our Pokémon charge into battle.  Or, I mean, his Golbat charges in, and my Slowpoke kinda just sits there, because she’s a Slowpoke and that’s what they do.  The Golbat flies circles around her for a while and gets in a couple of nasty Bites, but inevitably gets knocked out of the sky by a Psychic blast.  With a defeated sigh, B recalls his Golbat, and slouches.  “I don’t know if you care, but that bus stop weighs about as much as a Golem,” he says regretfully. “I’m sure it’s not that heavy,” I say kindly, then take hold of the bus stop with both hands and pull.  It doesn’t budge.  “…okay…” I say, panting, “okay, it’s pretty heavy.” “You really don’t care ‘bout us tryin’ to gank that shiz, homie?” the other grunt asks me curiously. “I… guess a little?  But it’s just a bus stop; it’s not like you’re trying to steal Pokémon again.”  I pause, and take another look at the bus stop. “…are you?  This isn’t, like… some weird Alolan bus stop Pokémon.  Uh… right?” I ask, glancing at the Rotomdex. “Zzzzzt! I’ll give you twooooo guessezzz, boss!” the Rotomdex answers. “Smart-arse.” “Yo, think about the bus drivers!” B exclaims. “If we take this bus stop, they can all chill!” “That’s…” I stop and think for a moment.  “That’s actually kind of sweet.”  B’s face reddens for some reason.  “I mean, I don’t think public transport… really works that way, exactly? I’m pretty sure this would just confuse everyone.” “So you ain’t gonna help us either?” B asks.  I shrug. “Eh. What the hell.”  I grab the bus stop sign again.  “Okay, guys, on three.”  They both take hold of the sign too.  “One… two… THREE!”  All three of us heave with all our might, and slowly but surely, the heavy concrete base begins to inch out of the soil around it… until something gives way, and it all breaks free in an instant, sending us sprawling in a tangled pile on the ground.  A shadow passes over the heap of knotted limbs. “…do I even want to know?” Professor Kukui asks. “Someone’s foot is in my face,” I answer calmly.  I peer curiously at the shoe.  “I think it’s mine.”

Once the Team Skull grunts have left, Professor Kukui and I wave down the next bus and head up to the summit of Mount Hokulani, the site of an advanced astronomical observatory that takes full advantage of the mountain’s isolation from light pollution.  Despite its magnificence, Hokulani is only the second-tallest mountain in Alola – second to Mount Lanakila, visible off in the distance to the southwest.  Lanakila is the focus of Kukui’s greatest ambition; the big contribution he wants his life to make to Alola.  There, at its summit, close to the celestial realm of Alola’s legendary Pokémon, is where he wants to form an Alolan Pokémon League.  Alola’s four Kahunas will appoint a Champion who will be recognised by fellow Leagues all over the world.  Kukui’s plan calls for nothing less than a cultural revolution in Alolan Pokémon training, bringing the region into the 21st century – and Hau and I, the most recent trainers to begin the island challenge, are vital parts of his plan.  Well, I guess as a foreigner, and a former title-holder myself, I am in something of a unique position to help him.  It’s a more persuasive argument for completing the island challenge than Tapu Koko ever offered me, anyway.  For that matter, modernising Alola’s traditions seems like something that would really annoy the Tapu without actually giving them any excuse to smite me.

Before taking on the observatory’s trial, I explore the mountain a little bit, fight some trainers, and discover another new Pokémon: Minior, a floating meteorite Pokémon with a gleaming gem-like core surrounded by a rocky outer shell that breaks apart when it takes damage.  Despite not being a bird, not flying with wings, and not having any wind powers, Minior’s type is Rock/Flying, because clearly the Flying type made way too much sense in generation VI.  When I return to the summit, Kukui introduces me to an old friend and travelling companion of his: a trainer named Molayne, who works at the observatory and was once its Captain (I’ve learned elsewhere that Captains traditionally give up their positions when they turn 20).  By way of introduction, Molayne challenges me to a battle, and my Toucannon obligingly explodes his team of Steel-types – a Skarmory, a Metang, and… an Alolan Dugtrio, whose heads each sport a luxurious surfer’s mane of golden hair.  I… still don’t quite understand why these are Steel-types, unless their hair is literally made of gold wire or something. In any case, Molayne decides that this victory proves I’m ready for the Mount Hokulani trial, and ushers me inside to meet the current Captain, Sophocles.

Wait, Sophocles?  The grumpy-as-$#!t Cartman knock-off who runs the Festival Plaza? 

…yeah. Turns out he’s totally a Captain. A very young Captain, who recently inherited the role from Molayne, his cousin, as a result of “unusual circumstances” that prevented Ula’ula’s Kahuna from appointing a new Captain when Molayne became too old.  Sophocles is… well, doing his best, but clearly not ideal for the role; he’s nervous, awkward, doesn’t know how to talk to challengers, seems more concerned with his inventions and the Festival Plaza than with running the Hokulani trial, and isn’t particularly interested in doing things by the book.  He doesn’t lead me to a special trial site; instead, he has a plan to have his Totem Pokémon come to us, summoning it with an experimental device that broadcasts ultrasonic signals from space (…or something). I am certain that nothing here could possibly go wrong.

Something instantly goes wrong.

Sophocles’ device broadcasts its signal, then immediately blows a fuse, taking out all the lights and triggering a lockdown in the observatory’s security system. Sophocles claims he can sense the Totem Pokémon’s approach, but we’re going to need to deal with the lockdown first – by passing an audio quiz.  The obstinate system opens the lab’s doors just long enough to let in a wild Pokémon every time I successfully identify the sounds it’s making – the Pokémon Centre heal tone, the Rotomdex’s startup tone, Charjabug’s cry.  My Pikachu successfully defeats the Grubbin and Charjabug that turn up first, and my Raticate handles a second Charjabug.  At last, Sophocles’ Totem Pokémon arrives: Vikavolt, an ugly-as-sin but undeniably badass flying electrical beetle, whose aura, in contrast to the other Totems I’ve fought so far, buffs all of its stats.  My Pikachu manages to hurl out a Catastropika and a Volt Tackle before being knocked out, and my Salandit follows up with Toxic.  This whole time there’s a Charjabug assisting the Vikavolt with Mud Slaps and Thunder Waves, just to annoy me.  Finally though, with Vikavolt weakened, my Dartrix finishes it off with Pluck. Meanwhile, Molayne restores the observatory’s power and deactivates the security system, releasing us.  He and Sophocles reward me with not one but two Z-Crystals: Sophocles’ Electrium-Z and Molayne’s Steelium-Z.  Molayne also hands me Professor Kukui’s Masked Royal lucha mask, which he apparently left up here, and asks me to give it to him at Malie Garden.

Returning to Malie Garden, I find Professor Kukui almost immediately, but he’s somewhat preoccupied, deep in a debate with none other than the two Team Skull grunts who were trying to steal the bus stop earlier. “You say you wanna make a Pokémon League?” B asks him incredulously.  “You got rocks in your skull?”  Kukui grins and holds up four fingers. “Four turns!”  The grunts look at each other, confused. “Huh?” “I’ve been researching Pokémon moves, so I’m always ready!  I’ll take you both on in a Battle Royal!”  The watching crowd cheers.  I allow myself a smirk as the grunts shuffle nervously.  Suddenly, B notices me and catches my eye over Kukui’s shoulder.  His expression goes stern and he balls his fists. “F-fine!” he blurts at Kukui.  “You asked for it!”  I widen my eyes and shake my head at B vigorously, dragging a finger across my neck.  This is… not going to be pretty.  Much as I hate to admit it, Professor Kukui knows his $#!t.  As he prepares to battle, though, a murmur sweeps through the crowd.  People chatter nervously, there are a couple of scattered ‘boo’s, and I hear a name repeated over and over: “Guzma!”  The crowd behind the two Team Skull grunts parts as a young man swaggers up.  He’s in maybe his late 20s, dressed in Team Skull black and white, with a shock of white hair, and shows off his team’s stylised S-skull logo in both a gaudy gold necklace and a pair of purple forearm tattoos. “Battle Royal, huh?” the newcomer drawls.  “Nice idea there, Kukui.  You can beat down three Pokémon at once?”  Both grunts instantly adopt postures of total deference. “The boss has graced us with his presence!” “The hated boss who beats you down, and beats you down, and never lets up… Yeah. Big bad Guzma is here!” Guzma says, his voice rising with each phrase.  He raises his arms into the air.  “GREETINGS, COWERING PUBLIC!  We have an exciting bout for you tonight!  In the opposing corner, the Pokémon professor Kukui!  And in this corner, the boss of Team Skull and the hardest guy around, Guzma!” Kukui thinks for a moment, smirks, and this time holds out both hands. “Seven turns.”  Guzma growls at him angrily. “This move fanatic is getting me all riled up!” “Let’s see it then, Guzma,” Kukui taunts him.  “Show me your moves and prove you aren’t all talk!  If you can… right, Chris?”  I blink a couple of times and hastily glance around, searching for some other Chris he might have meant, or perhaps a convenient bush to dive into. “Uh… what?” I ask lamely.  Guzma frowns. “So you’re one of the kids on his island challenge?  You don’t look like Hala’s grandson.”  Where the hell is Hau? Why doesn’t anyone ever make him handle cr@p like this!? “This here’s Chris,” Kukui explains proudly.  “He just moved to Alola recently.  Discovery!  Adventure! He’s loving every minute!” “Love is a very strong word,” I hastily clarify. “It’s… really more of a passive marinating process.”  Guzma chuckles. “You’ve got a Z-Ring, huh, kid?” he observes.  “Why even bother with the island challenge?”  I shrug. “I’m gonna be honest, inertia is a pretty big part of it at this point.”  He roars with laughter. “HAHA! You don’t even know why you’re doing it!”  He turns his attention back to the Professor.  “You see, Kukui?  Here we are, fellow rejects who could never become Captains.  We’ve got all these mouldy old traditions in Alola – the Kahunas, the Captains… it’s about time we cut out all that silly garbage and make something new for ourselves.  Trust me, I get that.  Don’t get me wrong though, Kukui.  I’ve got no need for a Pokémon League.  After all, everyone already knows who the strongest trainer is on these islands!” “Speak for yourself, Guzma,” Kukui begins. “Well, hang on, though,” I interrupt, raising my hand for quiet.  “He’s sort of got a point.”  Both men look at me quizzically.  “I mean, I want to get rid of Alola’s whacko bird cults and volcano rituals and freaky voodoo $#!t as much as anyone.  You could at least cut out the human sacrifices.”  Kukui goes stony-faced at that. “How did you know about-?” “Didn’t. I was totally going off random guesswork and thinly-veiled racism.  Until now. Seriously, dude!?”  He looks sheepish.  “But the point is, there’s no reason modernising Alola means you have to do everything like Kanto and Johto, with a Pokémon League and a Champion.  I mean, have you met Kanto’s Elite Four?  I have!  They live in a castle in the middle of nowhere and they all hate each other!”  Guzma guffaws. “I like this kid!”  I turn on him. “And you! What do you think you’re doing, running a gang with all these… debatably innocent kids?  I mean, these two?  They wouldn’t hurt a fly.  I’m not sure they could if they tried.  How tough do you have to be to bully them around, anyway?”  Guzma is fuming now.  Meanwhile, B is now looking at me with his eyes wide, shaking his head, and dragging a finger across his neck.  I just wink at him.  Guzma looks back and forth between us a couple of times in utter confusion, then remembers his wounded pride. “Watch closely, Kukui,” he growls.  “Someday I’m gonna destroy you.  But first, I’ll destroy everything you care about!  WANNA SEE WHAT DESTRUCTION LOOKS LIKE?  HERE IT IS IN HUMAN FORM – IT’S YOUR BOY, GUZMA!”  Guzma roars and hurls a Pokéball as I send out my Raticate.  Guzma’s Pokémon is a hulking mass of insectoid chitin and muscle that he calls a Golisopod. Okay, I think to myself, it doesn’t look that fast, so- “First Impression!” “Wait what.”  There is a sickening crunch, and my Raticate sails through the air past my shoulder making a mournful wailing noise.  “…ah.” Well, that didn’t work.  I send in my Salandit and command her to use Inferno Overdrive, which puts a dent in the Golisopod, but it strikes back with a Razor Shell that knocks her out immediately.  Huh.  I squint at the Golisopod, and realise what it is: the evolved form of that pathetic bottom-feeding silverfish, Wimpod!  I WANT ONE. Secure in knowing what I’m dealing with, I throw my Toucannon into the ring and fire off a Beak Blast that flattens Golisopod.  That seems to be Guzma’s strongest Pokémon; his only other is an Ariados, no match for a Toucannon.  Guzma becomes visibly enraged as his Pokémon drop. “GUZMA!!!” he explodes.  “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?  NOW’S THE TIME FOR YOUR VAUNTED TEAM TO LET LOOSE AND DESTROY EVERYTHING!” “Dude, chill,” I tell him.  “Has anyone ever told you to get a hobby?”  Guzma just growls unintelligibly, turns around and storms off.

As Guzma leaves, the two grunts linger for a little while, over by one of the garden pools.  The second one jabs B in the side with an elbow and jerks his head over at me.  B shakes his head vigorously and makes a couple of gang signs I still can’t recognise or interpret.  His friend just glares at him sternly, points at me, then turns his back to me, folds his arms, and starts tapping his foot.  B says something to him, but he just stands there, stony-faced.  With a sigh, B slouches over in my direction and fixes his gaze on my feet. “Mmmsrrrrytrrrdt’stlllyrpkmmnn,” he mumbles. “…what?” I ask, genuinely confused. “M’mm sorry we tried t’steal y’rr Pokémon,” he mumbles again, this time just loud enough for me to make out what he’s trying to say.  “Back on ‘mele Island.” “Oh.” I fumble for the words to respond, taken aback by the apology.  “Well, I… um. Thanks.  That can’t have been easy to say.  I’m, uh… glad you felt you could do that.” “Listen,” he mutters, still looking at my feet.  “Don’t mess with the boss, yo.  You don’t want him to get serious.  You’d…” He wrenches his eyes away from the ground and looks right at me. “You’d get straight messed up, homie.” I try to smile at him. “It’ll be okay.  I’ve dealt with bigger, crazier whackos than Guzma.”  B glances back at the other grunt. “Yo, I gotta split.  See you round?” “Definitely.”  As I watch them leave, Professor Kukui presses something into my hand, saying something about a signature move for Dartrix’s evolved form, but I’m not really listening.  I think it’s time Guzma’s gang started standing up to him…

Ridiculous quote log:

“Our safe driving record will absolutely slay you!” …I think you may have missed the essential purpose of safe driving, Exeggutor Express. 

The team:

Tane the Dartrix Male, Timid nature, Overgrow ability Level 33 Steel Wing, Razor Leaf, Synthesis, Pluck 

Rhea the Toucannon Female, Lax nature, Keen Eye ability Level 33 Screech, Roost, Beak Blast, Brick Break 

Ashley the Pikachu Female, Timid nature, Static ability Level 33 Volt Tackle, Hidden Power (Ice), Nasty Plot, Nuzzle 

Hypatia the Slowpoke Female, Hardy nature, Own Tempo ability Level 33 Psychic, Yawn, Façade, Scald 

Soot the Raticate Female, Hardy nature, Hustle ability Level 33 Crunch, U-Turn, Hyper Fang, Focus Energy 

Joanna the Salazzle Female, Timid nature, Corrosion ability Level 33 Flame Burst, Nasty Plot, Dragon Rage, Toxic