#but I won’t unless people ask me to lmaoo

[imaybeintoomanyfandoms]

Had an amazing time at ghost files live tonight!! Met some amazing people and the boys (and Lizzie) were fantastic!! There was no animosity which was great and y’all,,,,, are in for such a treat with the new season,,, the short clip we saw was fucking insane!!!!

Also!! They did live Too Many Spirits and everyone started to chant Chug at Ryan (he failed pretty quickly lmaooo) it was so chaotic. Lots of yelling and cheering for Greggs!

I think to sum it all up in what Shane said which is: ‘the only time we’ve had an audience as loud and ballsy as this one was in Florida’

[nixii-sabre]

6 for the oc ask thing

Actually fucking marry me for sending an ask for the oc ask thing but anyways

6. Who will they take advice from, no matter what it is? Who won’t they take advice from, no matter what it is?

No specification on which OC so like., I guess Ill go through all of them because this is an interesting question

(Big answer under cut)

Rainworld OC's

Endless - Endless will always, ALWAYS take advice from Chime. The only time he didn't was during their argument. He's especially reinforced the idea of listening to Chime now that they're together <3., He also won't take advice from... A lot of people, however probably Belief is the main person he will not take even friendly advice from

Koi - Will always take advice from her ancients. In comparison to her combative and competitive behaviors toward other iterators, she oddly listens to her colony. She's never talked about the matter, but its most likely due to knowing what happened to her brother when *he* didn't pay attention. It's a main reason she worries for him and tries to protect him, even nowadays.

Niche - Niche will always take advice from Cookie. Specifically cookie. She'll rarely every pay attention to her scavengers as she believes they have nothing good to say, but she has a soft spot for cookie- and sometimes she has a point. Also, Niche will never, *NEVER* take advice from iterators or ancients who have been apart of a taboo matter (i.e sliverist group chats/conspiracies, self destruct sequences, breaking the torture method, etc).

Those are all the important RW oc's of mine lmaoo. One Last Chime [OLC] belongs to @chaoticgoober as always.

Downfall

Oh boy. Oh boy. I have.. Wayy too many downfall characters to go over this, so Ill just go over with it for a handful.

Noah - Noah by beloved <3 I love him so much ^^ Anyway. After years of living with them, noah's pretty much learnt to take any and all advice from The Watcher. Considering they're a godlike being. The only type of advice they wont take and instead will *give* Watcher is emotional advice. also I think this was already a given but noah will not take advice from Kevin. not. not that kevin would give any advice.

Sludge - Sludge will take advice from everyone, however he'll always listen to his grandmother <3 He doesn't have a particular someone he won't want advice from (unless you count his father who he wants nothing to do with).

Kevin - Will take advice from Divala, will not take advice from Noah

Aqua - Awa will take advice for ANYTHING from ANYONE. Genuinely. He is extremely tentative and will listen and do whatever you say.

Nightshade - Will take advice from Dayna always. Will not take advice from Cindy. He doesn't care that they're siblings, he does not trust her. she threw a lizard at him

Si`le - Will take advice from Cupid. They're the bestest of friends <3 Will NOT take advice from the other sins. Quite frankly they can go fuck themselves in his opinion.

(Dayna belongs to @littleauralite)

Lethal Company

:3

Harvey - Harvey will forever and always take advice from Baron. He likes his short chubby friend much more than he'd like to admit. He will not take advice from Theo, even if it's advice like 'hey I don't think you should go in there I think I saw a bracken' because he will just blatantly ignore him

Baron - Same thing, will always listen to Harves <3 Won't not listen to advice from anyone he's good with whatever

Elle - You don't listen to anybody, do you?

Theo - Will always, always take advice from Elle. He knows damn well she knows what she's talking about. This is especially useful when *he* doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. N/A on the second part

Cheerio - N/A, I think this is pretty clear

Ye., these characters are from a rp thang I'm doing with @xenomorphicdna , @bongocongocaveman , @leastactivejester (soon), and my friend chickenboi

Ooops., i rambled sowwy

[reality-not-for-me]

Welcome to the MW2 world, Valkyrie

So, hear me out, it’s time for the supreme rule and worship of muscle mommies. I made a character for just that 😏 I would love to see her out and about in things and if you do use her, please tag me!! I wanna see!! Just, you know, don’t claim to own her. She’s MINE.

*I have literally never made an oc before, let alone write fics or anything, so take it easy on me pls lol*

Ok, here we go:

Call sign: Valkyrie

Real name: Chelsea Quinn

Member of the 141

Female but not necessarily “feminine”. Hot in her own way. Could pull men And women if she wanted to. Price uses this to the team’s advantage for Sure. I really wanna write something where Valkyrie goes in instead of Soap for that one campaign mission to meet El Sin Nombre and not only is every man in there questioning things but Valeria has a gay panic attack lmao

Really short medium brown hair that she looks really good in

Definitely steals Soap’s hair gel

Asked Soap to style her hair into a fauxhawk/mohawk once, the boys all secretly loved it on her

She cuts her own hair but has Soap help with the back of her head cause I think he does his own too. She of course helps him too

6’-6’1” in shoes and like, 230lbs of muscle

Sergeant level

27 years old

Built like a tank with visible musculature, slight hourglass figure with thicc thighs, proportionally large titties and an ass for days. Therefore people would consider her to be a Muscle Mommy™️

She also has tats, an elbow cuff on her left arm, a forearm wrap-around sleeve on her right, and a couple of ones only seen when she’s wearing more revealing clothing. Definitely the type to incorporate her scars into a tattoo

The type of person who can dish out the genuine compliments/flirts but can’t take them, gets all flustered when someone does

Can sing and will when given the chance. Especially if something is stuck in her head.

Ghost can play the guitar and every now and then she’ll sing softly along with him (he’ll play songs she knows on purpose after discovering this)

Quite a pretty facial structure and smile. Doesn’t see her beauty but learned how to flirtatiously manipulate targets via the boys. THAT’S an Interesting story

Has light colored freckles on face and shoulders, mole on left cheek

Caucasian

Witty

Sometimes dry humor, sometimes goofy

Loyal

Not one to go against authority or talk back unless it means one of “her boys” gets left behind

Loving of those who are close to her

Kind of a masochist lmaoo but more so in a way that’s like, she’s pushing herself too far physically and mentally cause that’s the perfectionist in her. Unless… 👀

When sparring she’ll take down all of the boys in combat except Price and sometimes Ghost simply because Price is absent during training and Ghost is just too fucking agile and large. Doesn’t mean she won’t still try. Once she took a punch to the abdomen in order to bum rush Ghost and managed to catch him off guard enough to tackle him. He was impressed and flustered but still called it cheating

Gets along almost too well with Soap, openly flirts with one another but more so in a bffs way. Unless… 👀

They definitely also flirt with Ghost because they think it’s funny when he gets flustered, but one day the man is gonna snap I’m tellin ya (and when he does…… 👀)

Managed to become the third musketeer of Ghost and Soap

Is allowed to call Soap Johnny

She has definitely picked up the Scottish and Manchester slang and will say them in the respective accents. The boys think it’s hilarious

She makes the funniest faces sometimes when she’s reacting to a story someone is telling

Ghost loves her deep down just like with Johnny, and will die and kill for both of them

She has seen Ghost’s face because they trust each other so much and he knows she takes trust so so seriously. They bonded over ✨past trauma✨

They originally were just professional towards each other but once Ghost saw her scars on accident (while changing) he started warming up to her and would seek out conversation with her, which she happily accepted and returned.

Soap just started talking to her when she arrived and she also happily accepted and returned lol. She’s just very personable. She’s the type to be reserved until someone else makes the first move (which may or may not be true for… other situations as well 👀😉)

I believe she’s at least an inch taller than Soap, and will make sure he remembers it. She can and will pick up people who are smaller than her. Well, let’s be honest, she’ll still pick up people who are bigger than her. The boys all wanted a turn to be picked up by her lmao

Calls Ghost by his first name in intimate moments (not that kind you perv. Unless... 👀)

Is often the one everyone can talk to about personal shit because she listens and has feedback to offer with no judgment

Is the sole woman on the team so she is happy to answer any questions the men might have, sexual or not. Drunken “never have I ever” got a little crazy last time

When she needs to vent or cry, Ghost and/or Soap will hold her and listen. Same goes for the reverse. Or any member of the 141 tbh. She is Mommy™️

That being said, she will 100% cuddle platonically with Anyone who wants/needs it. She understands that everyone needs human intimacy (especially in their line of work holy shit). “Wanna cuddle?” “What? Why?” “Cause it’s nice. Don’t make it weird.”

She has scars along her shoulder blades and one on her abdomen through and through to mid/lower back. Changes the story of how she got them every time someone asks. Only her true friends know the real stories. If she’s in civvies or undercover she tells people it’s from getting moles removed or something lolol

Won’t open up to just anyone, but will also just spit out something shockingly personal casually amongst the 141

Took Spanish for eight years in school so she will laugh at things Rudy and Alejandro say and they’re shocked when they find out she Knows™️. This being said she will also call Soap names in Spanish with them in front of Soap to annoy him.

Also knows some sign language and taught it to the boys, for when they’re on mission and need to talk silently.

Will offer herself up to be a diversion or to do something crazy mission-wise. It drives the boys crazy cause they just want to protect her but she’ll give them a reason why she’d be the perfect candidate and they’d have to let her.

When she dresses up for undercover work she is a VISION. the boys have to rein it in and she gets confused and/or flustered when they all of a sudden avert their eyes or stutter around her.

König. Oh that poor man. He is down bad for her and she doesn’t really know it. She just thinks he’s having his usual social anxiety when talking to her so she makes sure she’s nice and patient with him. He first saw her when he was visiting one day. She and the boys were sparring and she pinned Soap right as she looked up at him, eyes all dark, and he combusted then and there. Although she isn’t picking up what he’s putting down, her boys of the 141 are and will protect her/compete for her attention while he’s around. If you accuse Ghost or Soap of being jealous they will deny it of course.

When she’s exhausted she gets the loopy kind of silly where you laugh at nothing and then feel like sobbing at the same time.

I’m still adding things as I think of them, and of course will edit this as I add them. But yeah. There she is. I love her already and can’t wait to make stuff with her :)

[laying0nth3floor]

༉‧₊˚ 𝐁𝐑𝐈’𝐒 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒! ༉‧₊˚

༉‧₊˚ 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒!

- just keep it positive, i won’t tolerate any disrespect, i cba for drama, you’ll just be blocked

- bigots dni!

༉‧₊˚ 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒!

- i write when i feel like it so pls understand!

- be lenient with me about the grammar lmaoo this account is for fun so i’ll try proofreading and stuff but there may be some errors

- check who i’m currently writing for before asking for specific fics for people!

- everything is gender neutral unless specified otherwise (this goes for requests too!)

what i don’t write:

- anything dark! this is not that type of blog!

- anything nsfw

- for minor characters (underaged)

- i won’t write about specific!reader situations i haven’t gone through especially if they’re heavy topics, i wouldn’t be able to do it justice

what i do write:

- anything else that’s not on the list above (within reason though i may of forgotten some things)

- fluff

- angst

- specific!readers (if you have an requests lmk)

[sttoru]

when you get this, you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (positivity is cool!!!) no pressure!!!! ur blog is awesome, enjoy!

• for whenever u come back <3 hope uni's treating u well !!

HANNAHHH !!!! thank u sm , uni’s been treating me bad but we live >_< love u sm bb hope life’s been treating u well 2

can u believe that i spent like almost half an hour thinking of whst i like abt myself ohmygod my brain was overworking LMAOO

1. tiny mole under my eye :3

i like it bcs it uhh completes me ig? like it completes my looks & its just at the perfect under my eye ^_^ i also have tiny moles on my arms and stomach but that specific one is visible to everyone yk its v cute imo

2. teeth

i had braces when i was like 11 / 12 and used to HATE THEM SM but they made my teeth to what they are today (straight) so i kinda have to thank my dentist for recommending me to get braces . bless u

3. no-judging personality / open minded

LITERALLY people can come and confess to me w whatever (except for like straight up disgusting or weird stuff like anything misogynistic/ pedophilia related stuff /racism etc u get the gist of it) and i’ll sit there be like ‘mhm yup okay go on’ . i think i won’t ever judge someone quickly yk like im actually be interested in what ppl like or what ppl think of, their hobbies & stuff rlly i just like to listen to ppl ramble even abt the smallest of interests or likes ^_^ im v accepting of ppl most of the time unless they make me uncomfy ofc

4. drawing skills / creativity

ngl i dont like most of my drawings but i love how creative i can be!! my drawings end up taking a lot of time and patience but at the end i’ll be like ‘damn i rlly drew that’ (and that lasts for like a day or two before i dislike it . but i’ve heard its bcs u stare at it for too long or don’t see it from someone else’s personal) . BUT also w my writing yk, i can come up with hundreds of ideas at once :3 though sometimes it ends up being a hassle bcs i start way too many drafts and then dk what to continue on ooopsies

5. how helpful i am

i like how helpful i am in most scenarios irl and on social media ! i can give decent advice abt most things (at least thats what my family/ friends have told me along the many years of uni + high school) and i rlly just like to help ppl who need it yk? like i dont get annoyed if someone asks for something to which the answer could be obvious to others—i dont judddgeeee once again :3 i got patience & the need to help others with even the smallest things so yea i like that abt me

[taintedcigs]

Now, he is sitting here, in the corner of the bar, with a drink that he had bought with his fake ID, soon he won’t have to use it anymore. With his head hung low, he lets his mind go to places that he had avoided all day. Dark thoughts that hold nothing but heartbreak and loneliness. He doesn’t feel miserable, just really fucking sad. He has people who care about him, friends who love him, people he now considers family. And yet, he still feels lonelier than ever.  ALLLLREADY CRYING. dude this is so SO Sad. but at the same time soooo relatable. im gonna die he needs a hug fr :(( ill give him some warm hugssss

Before his mind can react, his heart is already fluttering when he hears your voice. He raises his head, eyes finding you immediately. You’re here. You’re here with Eddie. And you look more beautiful than ever. OH MY GOD STOP ITTT. I LOVE THIS SMMM THEM RUNNING INTO EACH OTHER FUUUUCKKKK!!!

But, Eddie has Wayne, he always had Wayne. Steve doesn’t. He doesn’t have anyone who looks after him. He is all by himself.  STOP STOP STOP THIS IS SO SAD. THIS IS WHY THEY'RE SO TETHERED. THEY SHOULD JUST KIS- HUG I MEAN UHHH AND LIKE COMFORT EACH OTHER.

“Please, Eddie,” you whisper, mustering up the best puppy eyes and a pout that he can never say no to. “We can just have fun together, you’ve never met drunk Steve before, he can be funny – unless he decides to break your heart but, that won’t happen to you, don’t worry,” you giggle. LMAOOO IM CRYING SHE JUST HAS NO CHILL BUT LIKE GO GIRL. I DEAL W MY TRAUMAS BY JOKING ABT THEM TOO SHES SO REAL FOR THIS ONE IDC.

“Lay off, Robin. Maybe he just wanted to get a few drinks and not deal with your annoying ass,” he says to her with a grin.  IMMMM CRYING AT EDDIE AND READER GANGING UP AGAINST ROBIN TO PROTECT STEVE. IM LOVING THEIR DYNAMIC. SOSO MUCH. JUST SO FUN AND WARMS MY HEART.

“Not like that.”  “Like what?”  “Like you’re mocking me!” Steve exclaims. “How am I mocking you, Steve?” ONCE AGAIN. I LOVE THEIRY DYNAMIC. THEY ARE SO BOYFRIENDS. AND THEY'RE ALSO READERS BOYFRIENDS. IK WE'RE NOT GETTING STEDDIE X READER BUT LIKE ITS STILL FUN LMAOO.

Steve can’t even fight the smile off his lips, his eyes crinkle, his cheeks flush and he giggles, “we’re in the pool, having the best time of our lives, right? And, fifteen year old me apparently thought that it was a good idea to kiss my best friend, but I totally missed her lips and kissed her nose and she fucking laughed at me, but I wanted to try again. I lean in when I suddenly feel the urge to throw up.” KISSING HER NOSE IM CACKLINNNGGG. THE WAY ROBIN IS PROB LISTENING TO THEIR STORY LIKE THIS

“A girlfriend?” You ask as you raise the glass to your lips, shrugging, “I don’t know, I never thought about it but kissing girls is fun, so.. I suppose doing anything else with a girl is fun too.” UHM... HELLO? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? NANCY X READER IS SO REAL? I WON? WE'RE SO FUCKING BAD NANCYREADER NATIONNNNN. (let me live my delusion)

“What’s that?” ohhhhhh shit. steve you fucked up sooo damn bad. like not even once? NOT EVEN ONCE?? you could've at least tried and fucked up but this is AWWWFUUUL.

Oh. Steve had never – fuck. How? If you were his, he’d spend day and night on his knees, worshiping you. why are there flutters and butterflies in my stomach and vagina rn. im literally on the verge of dying.

“Fine! Two or three months ago, happy? Now, Harrington, I think I should teach you some basics.” OHHHH SHIT. EDDIE U FUCKED UPPPP?!?!?! IDC READER HAS A RIGHT TO BE MAD!!! I SUPPORT WOMENS RIGHTS BUT ALSO WOMENS WRONGS (she could do no wrong reader is my angel princess)

“You have never actually eaten pussy before, dude?” Robin mumbles. Steve rubs the back of his neck, nervously, “I mean, yeah. Just not–” he pauses with a look of shame in his eyes as he briefly glances at you. IM CRYING STEVE JUST STFUUUUUU U R DIGGING URSELF INTO A BIGGER GRAVE STAWPP IT.

Whether it’s tears of anger or tears of sadness. You are sick of it. You are sick of yourself. You are sick of crying. You are sick of the pining, of the jealousy, of the sadness. OH MY POOR ANGEL. EDDIE U BETTER FIIIIX IT RN. MAYBE GIVE HER A BIG OL' KISS? A SMOOCHIE SMOOCH?!? I NEED THEM TOGETHER SO BADLY BUT IM NOT BLAMING GIRLIE FOR THIS ONE.

You are done. You are so fucking done. oh you're always so real cheer. I CANNOT WAIIIT FOR THE TENSION BETWEEN THEM!! AS ALWAYS IM IN LOVE W THIS STORY AND IM SO EXCITED TO SEE MORE FROM EDDIE X READER THEY ARE MY BABIIIESSS.

I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part 26

Warnings: 18+, angst, alcohol consumption, weed, mentions of vomiting, mentions of sex, mentions of cunnilingus, clueless reader, jealousy

Pairings: Steve Harrington x fem!reader | Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Summary: During a spontaneous birthday 'party', you find some things out, things that maybe should've been left unsaid.

Word count: 6k+

A/N: So, this chapter took a whole turn while I was writing it. It was supposed to head into a whole different direction but my angsty heart, had to say no to the fluffy route. @hellfire--cult thank you for helping me, you're amazingggg

series masterlist

-

Steve lied. 

He lied again. 

It’s something he hasn’t done in a while. 

He promised himself to never do it again, knowing how much damage it had caused in the past, in both relationships that he had. 

This lie is harmless, though. At least, he thinks that it is. 

He spent the day with Robin and Dustin, they had surprised him with a homemade birthday cake that Robin had made with Chrissy’s help, it would’ve been a cute one, had Dustin not ruined it with his Star Wars decorations. Lucas and Max showed up as well, ‘surprising’ him by throwing a bunch of balloons and confetti at him. 

They made him blow out the candles, before forcing him to open all the presents. Dustin’s present was not surprising, at all. A Star Wars movie collection. Lucas had given him a keychain, with a little basketball pendant. Max acted all careless as always, shrugging it off when he gave her a kind smile and a ‘thank you’, yet, she gave him one of the best presents, a collection of polaroids of him with the teens, with Robin and even you, along with new records, claiming that he needs to expand his music taste. He has yet to unwrap Robin’s presents. 

They ate cake, went to the movies and the diner. And afterwards, Steve drove everyone home. Robin didn’t believe him when he said that he made plans with his parents for the evening, that they’d come home to spend his birthday with him. She was suspicious, not buying the lies he was feeding her with, Steve could tell but she had no choice but to say goodbye when he dropped her off at home, he really didn’t want her to stay longer than she had to, he wanted to be alone, by himself. So, when she begrudgingly got out of the car and gave him a sad smile, he gave her a cheerful one back, pretending to be happy when he was feeling anything but it. 

He didn’t go home. He knew that his parents wouldn’t come and he couldn’t stand the thought of staying in that big house, all by himself, tonight. He drove past your street, as well, fighting the urge to go and see you. 

There is only one place he knew he would find peace at. The Hideout. 

Now, he is sitting here, in the corner of the bar, with a drink that he had bought with his fake ID, soon he won’t have to use it anymore. With his head hung low, he lets his mind go to places that he had avoided all day. Dark thoughts that hold nothing but heartbreak and loneliness. He doesn’t feel miserable, just really fucking sad. He has people who care about him, friends who love him, people he now considers family. And yet, he still feels lonelier than ever. 

He looks around the bar, it’s not very crowded, it never is. Maybe on weekends, but never during the week. Rock music plays in the back, he hears the chatter of a group of young men by the bar, they’re laughing, throwing back drinks – they are clearly having a great time. For a while, Steve watches them. How they laugh with each other, how they all look so carefree and happy. He doesn’t even know what it feels like to feel that way anymore, to have fun and be happy without ruining everything with his actions in the matter of just a few minutes. 

He sighs, leaning back in the chair, he looks down at his drink, that lately he started to find more and more comfort in. 

The door opens but he doesn’t bother to look up, not caring about whoever it is that walked through the door. He is so focused on the miserable feeling inside his chest, the tearing, the longing, the yearning, the hurt. 

Before his mind can react, his heart is already fluttering when he hears your voice. He raises his head, eyes finding you immediately. You’re here. You’re here with Eddie. And you look more beautiful than ever. You’re wearing a black dress and the dark denim jacket that he was cursing at, last year when he had yet to find out who it belonged to. Your hair is falling softly in waves, your lips are glowing a soft pink beneath the dim light, you’re giggling, slapping Eddie’s arm playfully when he whispers something in your ear.

His eyes soften, despite you being here with him, giggling at him, he can’t help but smile when he finally sees you again. It’s only been a few weeks since he had properly seen you, yet, it seems like forever.

When your eyes find him and your giggles die down, your smile falls and your eyes widen. He freezes. Not knowing how to react or what to do. Not only have you caught him staring, you have also caught him lying. Again. You were the first person he lied to about his birthday plans. He looks away with a blush on his cheeks, his hand grip the glass tighter, he inwardly curses himself out for coming here, tonight. 

“It’s his birthday, right?” Eddie mumbles behind you. 

“Yeah,” you whisper in confusion. “He told me that he would spend his birthday with his parents..” 

Eddie looks away from you and back at Steve. He sits there, looking crestfallen. His shoulders are slumped, his face etched with sadness, he can see it, even from a distance. The sight of him sitting there so lonely and sad is pitiful. Eddie knows what he feels like, at this moment. His dad never cared about him, not even on his birthdays, he never even bothered to give him a call from wherever he was currently living or staying at. 

But, Eddie has Wayne, he always had Wayne. Steve doesn’t. He doesn’t have anyone who looks after him. He is all by himself. 

“I guess they didn’t come,” you mumble with sadness and a hint of disappointment in your voice. “They never do.”

“Robin told me that he was acting weird when he dropped her off earlier.” 

Despite his dislike for him, he can’t help but feel bad for Steve. The people he wants the most, aren’t in his life. 

His parents are gone. 

You are gone. 

Steve had changed. As much as he doesn’t want to admit it, Eddie can see that he has changed for the better. That he isn’t the guy who hurt you, who left you standing on your birthday, who broke your heart and left you for someone else. He isn’t that guy anymore. Had he still been that guy, Eddie wouldn’t even bother to look at him twice and feel any ounce of pity for him but now, things are different. He is different. In a way, it scares Eddie, because he knows that he now has a chance for a second try, with you. 

“Do you think he’s here by himself?”

You shrug, looking away from Steve, you turn towards Eddie, “yeah.” 

You feel the little item in your pocket, the one that suddenly feels too heavy, the one you itch to reach for and give it to the one you got it for.

Eddie looks down at you, at the sadness in your eyes. For once, it doesn’t make him feel frustrated or annoyed to see you be so sad for someone who hurt you. 

“No one should be alone on their birthday,” Eddie mumbles.  

“Yeah,” you sigh, looking down at your hands. “But, I-I guess it’s what he wanted, he could’ve spent time with Robin.”

“He was with her before, wasn’t he?” 

“Yeah.”

Eddie sighs. There is hesitation in your voice and in your eyes.

“Do you want to spend time with him?” He asks, already feeling the dread tugging in his chest, knowing that the night won’t go the way he wanted it to.

For a moment, you stare into Eddie’s brown eyes, there’s a kindness in them, kindness for him. That is something so rare. 

“Uh, I’m sure he wants to be alone.”

Eddie knows you. Eddie knows what you want, right now. But, you are hesitating out of fear of upsetting him. 

“Sweetheart,” he whispers, placing his finger under your chin, tilting your head up. “I won’t get angry. If you want to spend time with him tonight, we can cancel our plans and you can go be with him.” He nudges his chin into Steve’s directions. “I don’t like him but, shit, even I can’t stand the fucking kicked puppy look that he’s sporting, right now.” 

You eye his face. Even through the sadness for Steve, the smile for you, you can see the slight fear in his eyes. The fear that any moment with you, will be his last one before you find your way back to Steve, before you say goodbye to a friendship that might’ve saved your life. But even through the fear, he still wants the best for you, he still wants what you want. 

“I think he wants to be alone,” you repeat.

Eddie looks over your shoulder to see him staring at you. 

“Nah, I don’t think so.”

You sigh, shaking your head. 

“What if we all hang out together?” 

“Sweetheart, I don’t think that Steve would be happy to spend time with me–”

“Please, Eddie,” you whisper, mustering up the best puppy eyes and a pout that he can never say no to. “We can just have fun together, you’ve never met drunk Steve before, he can be funny – unless he decides to break your heart but, that won’t happen to you, don’t worry,” you giggle. 

He raises his brows at you, surprised that you are making a joke about that. 

“You go buy us drinks and I’ll go convince him to spend time with us. We can just all get drunk together, maybe you’ll finally get along,” you shrug, giving him a sheepish smile, you place your hands on his chest, pushing him towards the bar, not taking no for an answer. 

“I don’t think it’ll take much convincing,” he snorts. As though you would ever have to convince Steve to spend time with you. Eddie is certain that all it takes is a glance from you and that man is already by your side, you got Steve wrapped around your finger, just like him, and you don’t even know it. 

You turn on your heel, not waiting for a response from Eddie. You make your way over to Steve, whose head is still hung low. Your heart thumps a little faster in your chest when you inch closer and closer to him. You push your hand into your pocket, reaching for the tiny bag that you had taken with you earlier when you considered dropping by his house. 

You stop in front of him, taking a shaky breath as you place the small bag on the table, sliding it towards him. 

“Happy birthday, Steve,” you whisper.

His wide eyes stare at the bag, the tiny jewelry pouch that clearly holds a present inside for him. His eyes soften, staring at your ringed fingers that linger next to his hand for a moment. 

He looks up, slowly. Hazel eyes flashing with softness when they meet yours. You stare at him with a shy smile, sadness lingering in your pretty eyes. His heart flutters so strongly, he longs to touch you. 

“Thank you,” he whispers, giving you a smile. “W-What’s that?” He asks, pointing to his present without tearing his eyes from you. 

“I got you a little present. I-It’s nothing special just, I just wanted to get you something. You don’t have to open it now, just uh–”

“Y/n,” he smiles, interrupting your rambling, “you didn’t even have to get me anything but I appreciate it, I will love it.” 

“You don’t even know what it is.”

“Yeah but it’s from you, so, I will love it, dolly.” 

A smile appears on your face, you nod slowly, whispering a small ‘okay’. You know that Steve always loved to keep certain presents for last, so you’re not surprised to see him tucking it into the pocket of his jeans. 

“Your parents didn’t come?” 

He looks down, holding the glass tighter, he shakes his head, unable to bear the pitiful look on your face. 

“Oh.”

“It’s okay,” he whispers before you can say ‘I'm sorry, steve.’ He doesn’t want you to pity him. 

“No, it’s not. You shouldn’t be alone.” 

“I-I wasn’t alone, I was with Robin all day and the kids–”

“But, now you are.”

He raises his head to look at you. And, before he can even say anything, his words get caught in his throat when he looks at you. Your eyes are glistening, not with tears and sadness, but with something else, something he cannot read. You look at him differently than you did weeks ago, not in a way that scares him or breaks him but, in a way, that only leaves him with one too many questions. He struggles to read you, to understand you. It’s like he can no longer see through you the way he could before. Nonetheless, he feels so calm and safe in your presence and he wants this moment to last forever. 

“Right now, I’m not, though. You’re here.”

You smile at his words. 

“Yeah, I’m here.” 

When Eddie appears by your side, Steve tries not to let his smile fall. 

Right. He is here too. 

“Happy Birthday, man.”

To Steve’s surprise, he sees Eddie not with two but three shots in his hands, he places them all on the table. Grinning at him in a way he can’t tell whether it’s a kind one or a sarcastic one. 

“Thanks,” Steve nods at him. 

Eddie pulls the chair back for you, you smile at him, taking the seat across from Steve. Eddie sits down beside you, leaving Steve with a questioning look on his face as he looks between the two of you. 

“W-What?”

“You think we’re gonna let you spend the night alone, Harrington?” 

Steve looks at Eddie in confusion, hearing these words not from yours but from his mouth leaves him more puzzled than ever. Eddie spending time with him willingly? He purses his lips, squinting his eyes as he turns to look at you. You smile at him, shrugging. You slide one of the shots towards him. 

“I mean, I thought that we could spend this night together,” you say, smiling with hope in your eyes. “Or we can leave if that’s what you–”

“No, I-I want to.”

He looks between you two, giving Eddie an awkward smile. 

“Cool! Let’s drink, then.” 

“Yeah, let’s drink,” he chuckles as he ditches his glass of whiskey for the shot of whatever Eddie had ordered. 

“When’s the last time you got drunk?” You ask them both. 

“Oh man,” Eddie mumbles, leaning back in his seat, he puts his arm on the back of your chair. “I don’t even remember, it’s been a while. What about you, sweetheart?” 

“Uh, well, I had a cocktail night with the girls, a few weeks ago,” you say, giggling. “Oh, also at a party.”

You and Eddie look at each other, he instantly knows what party you are talking about when he sees the amused look on your face. He chuckles, though he instantly gets taken back that night. When you showed up with that stolen bat plushie, when you told him how much you missed him, when you told him that you wished you met him first. 

Steve looks between you two, a sinking feeling in his stomach takes place. There are things you share with Eddie, things that he will never know about because he isn’t in his place anymore. 

“I knew it! I knew you were lying to me, Dingus!” 

Startled by the voice, all three of you snap your heads towards the angry girl walking towards the three of you with a frown on her face, pointing her finger at Steve. 

Steve’s eyes widen, “I can explain.” 

Something about the anger on Robin’s face and the panic in Steve’s features makes you giggle.

Robin slaps the back of his head, lightly. 

“Ouch! Robin!”

“You are such a–”

“Dingus, yeah yeah, I know.” 

Eddie laughs at that, smirking at Steve who throws him a glare.

“You think that’s funny, Munson?” 

Eddie leans back with a satisfied grin, “actually yeah.”

Robin plops down in the seat next to Steve, still staring at him with a frown on her face. 

“Why did you lie to me? Why are you here?” 

Steve sighs, scratching the back of his neck as he gives her a sheepish smile. 

“And what are you two doing here?” She asks, turning to look at you and Eddie. 

“Came here for a couple of drinks and then we found this sad puppy,” Eddie mumbles, pointing at Steve. 

Steve rolls his eyes, mumbling a few incoherent words under his breath. 

“We just asked him to spend the night with us.” 

Robin gives you a surprised look before her eyes move back to Eddie, who, doesn’t look as enthusiastic about this whole thing as you do. 

“How did you even know I was here?” 

Robin leans her elbow on the table, tilting her head at Steve, “well, I was craving some burgers and my favorite driver was apparently at a birthday dinner so I couldn’t ask him to drive me, so I walked, imagine my surprise when I saw a certain BMW standing in front of The Hideout.”

“Robin–”

“No! Don’t Robin me! Why’d you lie?” 

Steve didn’t want her to feel like it’something she had to do, hang out with him, spend his birthday with him because there’s no one else for him other than her. He doesn’t want her to do anything out of pity for him. 

He doesn’t feel comfortable to talk about it in front of Eddie or even you, knowing that you pity him the most. You always did and he hated it. A part of him always thought that that’s why you were with him, because you pitied him, the sad boy who was always abandoned by his own parents, because you knew he had no one else that cared about him, that loved him. So you stayed, you stayed even when you shouldn’t have.

Even now, you look at him with those big sad eyes with that look of pity in them. 

“Robin,” you warn when you notice how uncomfortable he looks, how he clenches his jaw and bites his lip.

Eddie senses the tension, the looks you are giving Robin, the way she is ignoring you because she desperately wants an explanation from Steve. 

“Lay off, Robin. Maybe he just wanted to get a few drinks and not deal with your annoying ass,” he says to her with a grin. 

She flips him off, rolling her eyes at him. 

“Just relax, here, take my shot and drink it, you need it, Robin,” you say, sliding the shot glass towards her. 

She turns towards the two of you, shaking her head with squinted eyes, “you’re both pretty rude.” 

“So are you, Robby.”

“Ew,” she scrunches her face up at Eddie, “don’t fucking call me Robby.”

“I’m gonna keep calling you that, if you don’t stop being so rude to sad birthday boy over there.” 

Steve sighs, running his hand down his face. 

“Can you just call me Steve, dude?” 

You giggle at the annoyed look on his face. 

Eddie grins, “okay, Steve.” 

“Not like that.” 

“Like what?” 

“Like you’re mocking me!” Steve exclaims. 

“How am I mocking you, Steve?” 

Steve scoffs, shaking his head, “see, you’re doing it again!”

“Oh my god, shut the hell up!” Robin slams her hands against the table, truly, shutting them both up. “Eddie, get me a drink.” 

Both Steve and Eddie look at her as though she had grown two heads, while you giggle at her little outburst. 

“That was an order.” 

“Damn girl,” Eddie whistles, getting up from his chair, “you need more than one drink,” he mumbles as he walks off. 

“You are both two immature idiots,” she groans, burying her hands in her hair. 

“You are so mean to me,” Steve mumbles, looking at her in disbelief, “and that on my birthday!” 

A smile tugs at your lips, you look between them, chuckling at the way she rolls her eyes at him. 

“You know what, I really need a few drinks.” 

“Wait, are we actually doing this?” Steve asks, gesturing to the shots on the table. 

“What, getting drunk?” 

He nods at you. 

“Yeah. Just like old times, right?” You smile at him in a way you always used to. 

“Just like old times.” 

His eyes suddenly flash with amusement, he snorts, “do you remember my fifteenth birthday?” 

Your eyes widen as a giggle falls from your lips. 

“Of course I remember!”

Robin’s eyes flash with curiosity. There’s things she doesn’t know about yours and his friendship, things neither you or Steve had talked about yet. 

“Wait, what happened on your fifteenth birthday?” 

Your eyes light up with excitement, you lean closer to the table, looking at Steve, waiting for him to tell the story. 

He chuckles at the look on your face before he turns his body towards Robin. 

“We stole my dad’s super expensive wine, he was supposed to take it to some event – I got in so much trouble for that, by the way,” he says to you. 

“I know, I know. Keep going, Steve.”

“Alright, so, we stole that wine bottle. We played a drinking game, kept passing that bottle back and forth until we were fucking hammered,” he says, chuckling as he thinks back to that day in his backyard. The way you giggled at anything he said, the way you danced and ran around barefoot on the grass, the way you jumped in his pool, fully clothed, the way he hugged you when you were both in the water.

“This crazy girl over there started to cannon ball into my pool–” 

You giggle at the memory. 

“She did it over and over again and it looked so fun so I joined her. Honestly, it was pretty fun but I had half a bottle of wine and ate a whole pizza before that.” 

“Oh,” Robin scrunches her face up, already seeing where this is going. 

Steve can’t even fight the smile off his lips, his eyes crinkle, his cheeks flush and he giggles, “we’re in the pool, having the best time of our lives, right? And, fifteen year old me apparently thought that it was a good idea to kiss my best friend, but I totally missed her lips and kissed her nose and she fucking laughed at me, but I wanted to try again. I lean in when I suddenly feel the urge to throw up.” 

“Oh, ew! Stop!” 

“He threw up in the pool, Robin!”

“That’s so disgusting!” She whines, trying to get the image of Steve puking into the pool out of her head, “you don’t have any better stories to tell?” 

You and Steve can’t help but laugh harder at her reaction. 

“I mean the kiss on the nose is fucking embarrassing, Steve. But throwing up in front of her afterwards?” 

“I thought it was funny,” you giggle. 

“What is funny?” Eddie asks when he comes back with two drinks for Robin, placing them on the table and sliding them towards her before he sits down beside you again. 

“Trust me, you don’t wanna know,” Robin says with a look of disgust on her face. 

“I don’t?” He asks, glancing at you and how amused you look. 

“No, you really don’t.”

“Okay,” he snorts. 

He glances at Steve, grinning at him, “hey dude, I got a birthday present for you.” 

All three of you turn to look at Eddie in surprise, watching him in curiosity when he raises his hand, reaching for something in the pocket of his dark flannel. He picks out a joint, tossing it at Steve who catches it with one hand. 

He laughs at that, raising one brow, giving Eddie a smile, “I do appreciate this, it’s kind of expensive nowadays.” 

“Is it expensive?” You ask, turning to Eddie, “you always give me some for free.” 

Eddie’s lips curl into a smile, he lifts his hand towards your face, tapping your nose with his finger, “well, you’re my best friend.” 

Steve keeps his eyes down, not wanting to look between you and Eddie. 

You smile at the way Eddie looks at you, the way his eyes glisten, the way his cheeks are always a little red, the way–

“Do you guys wanna smoke this?” Steve asks, cutting the voice in your head. 

“Here?” 

He chuckles at Robin, “of course not. We could go back to my place, my parents aren’t home, anyways.”

To Eddie’s surprise, he not only directs these words at you and Robin, he also directs them at him. 

“Uh, I’d love to!” Robin grins. 

Steve gives you a hopeful smile, one that makes it impossible to say no to him. 

“Me too.” 

At that, his eyes light up and his smile grows bigger. 

“Sure, let���s do it.”

“We’ll have to walk though,” Robin gestures to the drink Steve already had, “cause you can’t drive and I don’t have a license.”

He shrugs, “we can take Eddie’s van and I’ll get my car tomorrow morning.” 

“Uh, no,” Eddie mumbles, scratching the back of his neck, “my uncle took my van cause his car is at the shop, we walked here.” 

Steve sighs, “shit.” 

“But you could let me drive, I didn’t have anything yet,” Eddie smirks, pointing to the untouched shots. 

Steve snorts at him with a deep glare, “uh, yeah, keep dreaming, Munson,” he mumbles as he leans back, reaching for the keys in his pockets, you all watch him curiously. “The only one who’s allowed to drive my car is dolly.” 

Robin raises her brows in surprise when Steve chucks his keys at you that you quickly catch, looking down at them with a dumbfounded expression before your eyes light up and you look up, beaming at Steve. 

“Okay, let’s go,” you smile, excitedly as you play with the car keys. You scoot back, getting up from the chair. Robin knocks back one shot before she gets up as well. Steve and Eddie glance at the four untouched shots on the table and then, their eyes meet, they both shrug at each other and reach for two shots, each. 

Robin pats Steve’s shoulder, chuckling when he knocks one back and then the other, grimacing at the strong taste. 

You giggle at Eddie, who looks unfazed by the bitter taste. 

“Let’s go, ladies and.. Steve,” he grins. 

“Dude.”

“Don’t start this again,” Robin warns, pointing at them both before she rushes over to you, wrapping her arm around your shoulder, she grins, “us ladies, ride in the front, and you two can cuddle in the back,” she winks at them, pulling you away with a giggle. 

-

After an eventful ride to Steve’s house and a few shots of tequila, you all settled in his backyard, each of you occupying one of the many loungers around the pool. Passing around the joint that Eddie had given Steve as a ‘birthday gift’. You are sipping on a drink that Steve has made for you, coke mixed with his dad’s expensive whiskey. You are pretty sure that you will regret the amount of alcohol and weed you are having tonight, when you wake up tomorrow morning. But the floaty and giddy feeling you are experiencing right now, will have to make up for it. 

Steve is sitting on the lounger beside you, a can of beer in his hand, his lips wrapped around the joint that is already stained with your lipstick. A spitcurl is hanging in front of his eyes, he doesn’t bother to push it away. He shakes his head at something Robin had said to him, something you didn’t even hear because you were too busy letting your eyes skip back and forth between him and the curly haired metalhead who now left his lounger to be closer to you. 

Eddie wraps his hands around your calves, stroking your skin softly with his ringed fingers as he places your feet on his lap. He does it all without breaking his conversation with Robin. Though he feels the goosebumps on your skin, he hears the breath that hitched in your throat when he touched you. He hides his smirk behind his drink as he takes a sip of the cold beer.

Steve clenches his jaw as he looks between you and Eddie. The way he continues to stroke your calf, the way he smirks at your reaction, the way you are blushing, biting your lip as you look down at the hand touching your skin. 

He forces himself to look away, turning back to Robin, he offers her the joint. 

“Thanks,” she mumbles, giggling when she almost doubles over as she reaches for the joint. 

“Already hammered and we haven’t even played a drinking game yet, tsk,” Eddie shakes his head, giving her a playful grin. 

With an eye roll, she gets up, placing the joint between her lips as she sits down next to Steve. 

“A drinking game, huh? What kind? ‘Never have I ever’? Okay,” She grins at him without giving him a chance to reply. “Never have I ever had a girlfriend,” she smirks, teasing him. 

Steve licks his lips, chuckling at Eddie, who nods at her with an annoyed look on his face. 

You raise your eyebrows, “why are you teasing him, I never had a girlfriend, either,” you shrug. 

“Yeah but you had a boyfriend,” she mumbles, nudging Steve’s shoulder. 

Eddie tilts his head at you, looking you up and down with a smirk, “do you want one?” 

“A girlfriend?” You ask as you raise the glass to your lips, shrugging, “I don’t know, I never thought about it but kissing girls is fun, so.. I suppose doing anything else with a girl is fun too.” 

Eddie’s lips part, his brown eyes widen, darkening as they do so. He swallows as he continues to stare at you. Millions of questions run through his mind. There are things he doesn’t know about you, yet? 

Robin and Steve look at you in surprise. 

“Wait, w-what?” He mumbles, laughing nervously. 

Robin’s lips curl into a smirk, “you kissed a girl before? Who?” 

“Yeah, sweetheart, do tell us your dirty little secrets.” 

“Hmm, no,” you smirk, batting your eyelashes at him. 

“Was that before or after me?” Steve asks, cheeks flushed red as he tries to fight the images out of his mind. 

“Before you,” you giggle. 

“Shit, I wanna know who it was.”

“Me too, Eddie,” Robin says. “I know that it wasn’t Chrissy, she’d tell me.” 

“Huh, was it another girl from the cheer squad?” 

You shake your head at Eddie, biting your lip to keep yourself from laughing. 

“Were you close?” 

You shrug, nodding your head.

Steve squints his eyes, tilting his head at you. 

Robin’s jaw drops a little when she figures it out. There is only one girl that you’re close with that wasn’t in the cheer squad – well, besides her. 

“Holy shit,” she mouths at you, grinning.

Steve and Eddie glance at each other in confusion. 

It’s amusing how obvious the answer is, yet, neither of them are close to figuring it out. 

“If you think kissing a girl is fun, you should try eating one out,” Robin mumbles before she takes a drag from the joint, “it’s the best thing ever.” She blows out the smoke, not noticing the confused frown on your face. 

“For once, I have to agree with you, Robin,” Eddie chuckles. 

Steve freezes, closing his eyes as he looks down. 

“Huh?” 

Noticing the look on your face, Robin suddenly regrets opening her mouth about that. Your lips are parted, your eyes filled with confusion and curiosity, your brows are pinched together as you stare at her with a questioning look on your face. She straightens her back, muttering a quiet ‘fuck’ under her breath when she looks at Steve’s embarrassed face. 

“What’s that?” 

Eddie freezes. The smirk falls from his face, he glances at you, at the clueless, lost look on your face. Oh. Steve had never – fuck. How? If you were his, he’d spend day and night on his knees, worshiping you. 

“Huh?” This time, it’s him, whose confused. 

You look at him with big and curious eyes. 

“What is that, I don’t watch porn.” 

“Damn, I guess it’s time to,” Robin mutters through gritted teeth. 

“Licking someone’s pussy, sweetheart. And well, fucking one with your tongue.” 

Your jaw drops, your cheeks heat up and you stare at him in shock. You look cute like this and he could stare at you forever but, in his state of shock, he slowly turns his head towards Steve, eyes filled with concern, confusion and disbelief, “dude, what is wrong with you?” 

Steve, whose face is beet red, glares at him. 

“I’m very self conscious of not doing a good job, so–”

“You learn!” Eddie throws his hands up. 

“What, Munson, are you the pussy expert or something?” He scoffs, rolling his eyes at him. 

You look back and forth between them. Taking in the sight of Eddie’s slightly angered face and Steve’s embarrassed one. 

“I have eaten my share of pussy, thank you very much.”

The scoff falls from your lips before you can even stop it. Neither of them acknowledge you though, until you open your mouth. “What, like three?” You scoff, again. “You only fucked three girls, that’s what you told me, unless you lied about that.” 

Eddie swallows, glancing at you, he fails to notice just how intense the look in your eyes is. 

“There’s a difference between sex and foreplay, sweetheart.” 

You bite the insides of your cheeks, swallowing the bitterness on your tongue as you look into his eyes. Not once, had you spent a single second wondering if Eddie was seeing someone, if he was fooling around with girls when he wasn’t with you. But now that you think about it, now that you imagine him with other girls, you suddenly feel the bile rising in your throat. The sickening feeling makes you want to drop to your knees and puke out the waffles you had eaten this morning.

“So, when was the last time you did that then, Eddie?” Robin asks, both curious to know and to see your reaction. 

He shrugs, “I don’t know, Buckley. I don’t keep count of how many days–”

“Yes, you do! Men always do!” 

He doesn’t feel comfortable sharing that in front of you, but he knows that Robin won’t drop it until she gets an answer she’s satisfied with. Besides, you probably won’t even care. Despite Dmitri’s encouraging words, he still refuses to believe that there are any feelings other than the platonic ones that you feel for him. This won’t hurt you, right? 

“Fine! Two or three months ago, happy? Now, Harrington, I think I should teach you some basics.” 

You feel as though a cold bucket of water has been dropped on you. Your heart leaps to your throat as your stomach drops. Another wave of sickness floods through you. You stare at him, not noticing Steve’s or Robin’s eyes on you. 

When was that? Was it the weekend you couldn’t spend time with him? The night you couldn’t come to his gig? Was it before or after he had gotten angry at you for kissing Steve? 

It shouldn’t affect you as much as it does, it shouldn’t make you feel this sick, this jealous. You barely figured out your feelings for him. But the longer you stare at him, listen to his words, you can’t help but feel anger rather than jealousy. 

You didn’t have feelings for him back then, or at least, you weren’t aware of them. He’s single and free to do whatever he wants but so are you – so were you when you kissed Steve and yet, he was so angry at you when he found out about it. He treated you so coldly, all because he hated the thought of you kissing Steve. Yet, he was out there fooling around with other girls.

“You have never actually eaten pussy before, dude?” Robin mumbles.

Steve rubs the back of his neck, nervously, “I mean, yeah. Just not–” he pauses with a look of shame in his eyes as he briefly glances at you. 

You roll your eyes. 

You’re not surprised to hear that, you’re not even hurt. After everything that happened between you and him, his sex life with Nancy is the last thing you had ever worried about. You always knew that he treated her better than he ever treated you. 

And, that he tried new things with her isn’t anything shocking to you, anyways. 

You open your mouth but before you can say something that might ruin the night, you press your lips together again. Sighing, you look down at your drink. You take a deep breath before you raise the glass to your lips, gulping down the rest of it.

You plaster a smile on your face. Ignoring the concerned looks that Robin is giving you. She thankfully changes the topic. Eddie and Steve, surprisingly fall into yet another conversation. 

Their distraction allows you to slip away for a moment, you pass by Robin without meeting her eyes and make a quick escape to the bathroom. Locking yourself into the small room for a moment to collect yourself. 

Despite the anger you are feeling, you don’t want to ruin the night for Steve. 

You splash some cold water and run your fingers through your hair. 

With tears in your eyes, you stare at yourself in the mirror. 

Whether it’s tears of anger or tears of sadness. You are sick of it. You are sick of yourself. You are sick of crying. You are sick of the pining, of the jealousy, of the sadness.

Steve had given Nancy everything. He tried new things with her while you were grieving your relationship, crying yourself to sleep and thinking about him like a goddamn fool while he was having the time of his life with a different girl. 

And Eddie, you try not to think about it, you try not to let the jealousy in. But you can’t push out the anger that you are feeling for him, right now. 

Or the anger that you are feeling for yourself.

How you take everything to heart. How you let everything and everyone hurt you. 

You are done. 

You are so fucking done. 

-

tagging friends & mutuals

@taintedcigs @mysticmunson @littledemondani @wroteclassicaly @corrodedseraphine @corrodedcorpses @succubusmunson @trashmouth-richie @xxhellfirebunnyxx @take-everything-you-can @sherrylyn628 @chrissymjstan @somethingvicked @nemesis729

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Honestly me neither but apparently Aryu stans exists?? I mean they must if they keep making merch for them SHSHGSSH

YAY omg congrats!!! Touching grass pays off LMAO another Mira W!!

Oh WHAT ok then well, I guess ever platform has its issues LOL now I see why Ao3 authors always feel the need to explain their absence (the insane ones are so funny but also genuinely crazy like wdym you almost died but are updating in the hospital bed??? Go rest??) Glad you don’t get people harassing you like that anymore because if it were me I’d probably end up ditching the piece altogether unless I was writing it for myself HAHA

“Do you want me to kill myself me honest” IS INSANEEEEE HONESTLY THAT COMEBACK SLAPS HAHAHA I think it’s tame considering how they were being so pushy but didn’t even bother to absorb the fact that you literally already answered the question a day before….

SWIMMING SCENE we won guys but so true little kid drama’s usually restricted by the complexities of their social interactions which are far and few in between LMAO can’t wait for that angsty teen/tween phase

So real for that…I fear I remain closeted until I become really good friends with someone or honestly it won’t come up at all if the other person doesn’t consume any of the same type of media because we usually talk about others things HAHA

Yeah it’s just Itoshi flashback essentially LMAO I’m ngl idk how to feel it definitely doesn’t really make me feel anything more for Rin (what was bro doing??? The way he fell down looked so goofy I’m not even sure what to say and tbh I don’t really get how him like jumping off places really aligns with the ideation of “defeating someone stronger even if it kills you” but he’s probably like 5 so I guess it makes sense that his thought process doesn’t make sense??? Whatever ig LMAO) seeing sae take the heat for rin was kinda cute but yeah erm his dad was kinda ominous there!!! Also the beard, that’s just sae with a beard a black dyed hair. But YEAH honestly I think I felt more for Rin without knowing this background like uhhh what?? I also have little interest in analyzing this myself so I’ll just let it sit there HAHA

LEARNING BY NOT FOLLOWING EXAMPLE REAL you’ll see in the next chapters that ideation is even more prevalent…but ok ummm why is this LN so deep?? I think they just stepped up the level of emotion and whatnot in this volume because??? I’m about to go skim Aryu’s to see what’s in there let’s see if he gets bullied too /j

-Karasu anon

HAHA ig that’s true!! aryu fandom wherever you are i hope you’re staying strong 😫 that’s like the ultimate random side character to be in love with because he truly is up to nothing 😭 but ykw i support

okay wait crazy story i actually have updated a fic while in the hospital before 😳 i had an allergic reaction to something and was in anaphylactic shock so they gave me steroids and had to monitor my vitals for a few hours so i was like “ok might as well write ig” but then my laptop died and i was so mad 😔 i texted my best friend abt it and she was like “girl you are in the hospital focus on THAT” FJFKSKS the grind truly never stops!!

LMAOO lowkey i did abandon the story it’s been like three months since i updated and tbh i always forget i’m the one who wrote it 😓 looking back i think i was just annoyed because it felt like people just saw me as a content machine who could spit out chapters at will?? like it’s one thing when people ask me when peregrine will be updated because it’s been a month or so (don’t get me wrong it still is a little annoying because i have no idea but not AS bad) but when more than two days would pass and they’d be asking me when the next chapter would come out it was just like…do you not want me to have a life or smth?? it’s not like i can abandon everything else i do solely to write new chapters and update 😭

SWIMMING SCENE INDEED i’m trying to make this not be too similar to fwtkac but there’s def a bit of overlap in things like pool scenes and whatnot (even though the outcomes of the scenes are different in each fic)…but yeah there’s def a little bit of drama just because even as a very young child karasu was down bad but like at the age of 7 it’s not as if he knows what that means yk 🤔 it’s also funny because rn i’m picturing baby karasu from epinagi so it’s more like “aww cute kid” (which is also the reader’s mindset so that’s good) but i need to get to when he enters his growth spurt era so i can be like 😏 HAHAHAHA

agreed it’s not something i bring up until i’ve judged a person’s vibe well enough to know they won’t be weird abt it or if they bring it up first…even then like i don’t talk a ton abt it w my friends unless they’re also into it (sadly i have no bllk irls so it’s been difficult but at least i have my tumblr crew to geek out with)

HELP RIN LOOKED SO SILLY i have no idea what he was up to…truly he was a weird little kid but that honestly checks out w what we know of him because even now when you get past his fantasy otome isekai male lead appearance he’s lowkey a bit of a freak 😭 and i think painting sae as someone who takes the heat for rin makes me feel bad for him a bit because who is taking the heat for HIM yk?? and omg they did not try w the itoshi parents’ designs at all they don’t even have eyes 😓 maybe it was an artistic choice idk LMAO i guess we’ll see how the match progresses from here!! hoping for more karasu and yukimiya 🥹 maybe kunigami too he’s kind of been irrelevant besides guarding shidou so hopefully after the rin goal that’s sure to come there’ll be some focus on the shidou system (shidou karasu zantetsu) that seemed to be setting smth up before rin went crazy and then that could lead to some development/scenes for kunigami as well 🤔 i’m excited too that the nel arc is almost over hehe it’ll be fun to see everyone back together and hopefully on the same team again!! as well as seeing what comes next in the manga (i’m assuming u20 world cup but i’m sure there’ll be some stuff in between before the actual world cup starts)…praying for another slice of life type of scene like when they were all in shibuya after bllk vs u20s!!

BAROU BEST FATHER OF THE YEAR no wonder he was so good at parenting nagi bro has experience 😭 and i agree barou/yuki’s novels were def on the deeper and more emotional side while still being relatable which made them really fun to read 😩 aryu’s made me giggle a bit tbh because it was so unserious and yet serious at the same time as is to be expected from him…i can’t believe you predicted him being bullied though 😢

[yumastbekiddingme]

☾ Rules! ☽

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

heya lovelies! here are some rules i’d appreciate if you read before requesting:

1. please always check my bio and ask box to see whether requests are open or closed before requesting! if requests are closed and you request something, it will likely get deleted. please DO NOT send requests in the messages (especially when the askbox is closed) as i will not do them — i’d rather have the requests in one place to keep track of them.

2. you’re more than welcome to request any other characters i may have forgotten.

3. i’m most comfortable writing hc’s or preferences bc they’re shorter. i will do fic’s, but those take me really long to post.

4. when requesting, you can request as much as you’d like and there is no character limit. however, please don’t resend your requests in multiple times — though you can ask if i have received it!

• also when requesting, please give some detail in your request so i can base some form of idea off of it. doesn’t have to be a lot of specific details.

5. i write both sfw and nsfw material on here. all i ask is that minors DNI with the 18+ posts as it makes me feel uncomfortable.

6. i will not write for any of the following topics as they make me incredibly uncomfortable:

• bdsm

• certain fetishes

• rape

•non-con/dub-con

• graphic depictions of abuse (may mention some, but won’t go into heavy detail)

• eating disorders

•self-harm

• pregnancies/child birth

and anything else of that nature, so please respect this! (i have nothing against people who do write for these types of things)

7. lgbtq+ and poc’s are welcome on this blog! so please send in requests, i want to make this fandom inclusive to everyone. so due to this, i usually may not disclose a specific gender in my pieces, making them gender neutral (unless specified otherwise).

8. please remain respectful to me as a person and be as patient and kind as you can be. writing takes time and i do have a life away from this and my other blogs. i go through my own stuff so updates can be quite inconsistent, but i try to post when i can.

9. i will not tolerate any form of hate towards myself or others. if you send hate then it’ll just get deleted lmaoo!

most importantly, please enjoy this blog! never be afraid to send in asks or messages, i don’t bite lol.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

[dapotatoauthor]

What if your ocs were in a dating sim?

I was kinda planning to draw this BUT I have no energy to do it today so writing it will have to do wkllkre

(This is a reference to my post, 'INTRODUCING: MY OCS!') (I'll be doing my main 4 oc's but I have too many ocs LMAOO)

Tory Matthews

Lmao good luck talking to her

She's very timid, and she doesn't talk that much

She's struggling with what's reality and what's not since there's a literal demon inside her that's controlling her and manipulates her memories

But if you do manage, she's very fun to be with

She love video games and is willing to try others

She's a little competitive and smile cheekily when she wins because that's how she is

loves the outside, but not much people

While she might be scared getting attached, if you show her that you're not going anywhere (and you're real) then she'll come around

maybe

who knows

now that I think about it, her demon is kinda like a symbiote omg

you're technically dating two people now so uh yeah

"I hope I haven't caused you that much trouble."

Lyrnn Sanders (Rainbow)

Shit I just realized that I didn't develop her properly so I am just gonna write what comes to mind

If you ever want to get her, you have to show it

otherwise you'll be treated like a bro for eternity

surprisingly, she's oblivious when it comes to someone loving her

She doesn't really believe it if someone likes her THAT way

Show her your true feelings, and she'll show hers

She's very blunt and doesn't sugarcoat things

She'll tell you what you want/need to hear, even if it hurts

But she means well

She has a soft spot for kids

Even if she seems like she doesn't care for you, she does

Will die for you honestly

The outside is like her home more than her own home

"Watch me live on the streets instead lmao" "Rainbow, no."

Roadtrips for daysss

You can ask her for song choices, she's open to any genre and will gladly listen to what you have to offer

Candy G̴͕̣̣̱͙͇̰̎̓̇̔͗̿̕̕͜a̷̡̖͔̼̍͐͂̈͆̋͂̓͠l̷̳̖̺̻̦̼̮̻̥͊̍ė̶̛̞̰̪̱̩̥̞̍̑̋̄͜ͅṣ̷̨̹̠̙̘͙͍̗̹̮̪͂̔̅͂ (Cotton Candy)

Think of Pinkie Pie with a tiny mix of Rainbow Dash, then you have her

Her name 'Cotton Candy' is her stage name so you can just call her Candy

She's very sweet, lives up to her name

Life of the party <33 She just gets along with everyone

If you ever catch her attention, she'll try to stick to you as much as possible

But not to the point of suffocation oh no

But she'll check in on you every other day, asking if you need anything or just company

She's surprisingly very forward

If you ever complimented her/flirted with her. She'll compliment/flirt with you back (that is, if she's interested LMAO)

Ideal date probably in the amusement park or a trip to the bakery

"I just wanna say you look very beautiful" "Aww, thank you sweets! you're not so bad yourself!"

vs. "Damn girl, what that ass do?" *Stares in disappointment and kills you/hj*

Maddeline R̶̼̹̟͖̗̈́̄̀̂͝ͅh̸̹̓̍̏̒͠ÿ̶͚́͐̏̕m̵̨̡̢̤̰̰̔̃͑͒͆͐̂͝ȩ̶̖͙͔̥̝̳̣̝̐ (Mad Hatter)

She is the most sane out of everyone

I’m here to tell you that she’s also one of the ocs I HAVEN’T DEVELOPED AT ALL so my bad HAHHAHA

Maddeline is a level headed woman, she thinks things rationally and logically

She’s the mom friend of everyone I put in the list

So if you have mommy issues… 👁👁

She won’t treat you like a child but she will be there to help and care for you

You know, just like a mom would

She’s kind of uptight too so don’t do something stupid unless you want to get lectured

OKAY, COFFEE OR RESTAURANT DATES ARE HER GO TOO

Despite owning an amusement park, it isn’t really an ideal date for her

Yes she owns an amusement park

Wait, isn’t she technically a sugar mommy?? BDJSNSKSNKS AHAHAH

She’s a workaholic so having a relationship isn’t her number one priority

But if you try, maybe something will happen

Maybe

“Never in a million years I would’ve thought I would be here, getting myself a special someone. I guess you really are different.”

[unknownwriting]

Hii can I have a scenario with zoro, ace, luffy and sanji x reader Afraid of sex?

Summary- comforting an s/o whose scared to have sex

Characters- Roronoa Zoro, Portgas D. Ace, Monkey D. Luffy, Vinsmoke Sanji

Warnings- mentions of sex, suggest material

So this is like broader line nsfw, buttt I still love the idea so I just had to write about it. It’s not gonna be fully on nsfw but it’s definitely gonna be implied also I may have gotten off topic a bit so I hope you don’t mind 👉🏻👈🏻

Portgas D. Ace

- Ya’know me gotta start out with Ace 💅🏻

- when you first tell Ace that you were scared of sex, or having it, this man will literally wait for years until you are ready.

- It’ll be hard, like extremely hard for him, but he wants you to feel comfortable enough with him

- Ace doesn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable or awkward at all. He’ll wait until you are ready. He’ll be very persistent in asking you but he doesn’t want to force you 

- he’ll do little things and/or gestures to kinda…warm you up (lmaoo if that makes sense) like he’ll start with holding hands, then hugs, then kisses, then make outs.

- and once he gets to the makeout stage, then from there he’ll try to nudge you into sex but not force you. He’ll imply that he wants it but if you say no then Ace will stop.

- he’ll do this until you feel comfortable to have sex. And if it takes 2 weeks, then it takes 2 weeks, and if it takes 2 years, then it sadly takes 2 years

- when you finally tell or let Ace know that you were ready. This man was practically jumping up and down and pouncing at the chance. But of course, he’s gonna take it slow

- he’ll be a little rough and a little quick with it all bc of how eager he is but he doesn’t mean any harm. He’ll spend time pleasuring you and making sure you're comfortable but as soon as you're ready, Ace is all over you

- although he does get a little eager making him a little fast and rough, he’s still gentle in the end. Making sure you are feeling ok and comfortable too

Vinsmoke Sanji

- ok Imma say it, this man is probably a virgin too. Like idk why, but I can just see him having like no experience or very little experience

- but like he knows how to do it…if that makes sense. Like he knows what it takes to make you feel good to be he doesn’t know how to…yet at least

- so when you first came out and said that you were scared or didn’t like it, part of was kinda relieved and the other part of him was sad. Like Sanji, wants to experience what is all about but he will not force you 

- it's one of those things that 2 people do to express and show just how much they love each other. It’s a slow and romantic process that takes the consent and desire of 2 people 

- so if only Sanji wants to do it, it wouldn’t feel right... You have to want to do it as much as he does. And being the hopeless romantic he’d gonna wait till you wanna do it if you even want to. And if it takes forever then Sanji will wait 

- Sanji won’t have a hard time waiting. For how perverted and romantic he is, I don’t think he would be that active, to begin with. Like yes sex is something that's a romantic and loving process but there are other ways Sanji can make you happy 

- When you finally get the courage to do it or anything, Sanji is so slow and careful. He really doesn’t want to do anything unless he has your ok. and even when you give your ok, he’s still very careful

- he spends most of his time pleasuring you and just...warming you up. he wasn’t you to feel good above everything else. This man is a simp so it’s what he’s gonna do

- it’s one of those activities that only work if 2 people agree. and Sanji takes that to heart. It’s something special that is shared to he’s gonna make sure that you enjoy yourself and feel comfortable 

Zoro

- until yall are in a well establish relationship for a few years, Zoro doesn’t think too much about sex. It just never was on his mind. He never really needed it, all he needed to do is train 

- but slowly as y’all’s relationship goes on the thought slowly begins to consume his mind. It was something he just couldn’t stop thinking about it

- Zoro brought it up one day just to get your idea on the topic and after he heard that you don’t like it and/or are scared of it. He dropped it. He’s survived this kind without, he can wait longer.

- it’s true he wants to do it at some point, it’s a natural human activity, but Zoro respected you and will wait until you're ready if you ever are.

- he might be a little pushy at times, but he doesn’t mean to and as soon as you began to look and/or feel uncomfortable, he’ll stop and distance himself from you

- he didn’t mean to, his body just began to act on its own when he’s around you. It’s something is he’s been trying to work on for a while too

- however, when you finally told Zoro that you were ready and felt comfortable enough to do it, he was all over you. He finally didn’t have to hold himself back anymore

- when do it, he is definitely the type who softly manhandles you. Of course, he’ll be gentle and all but he’ll kinda push you. He’ll try to make it as easy as possible too

- He wants to show you that there is nothing to fear and that he’ll be with you always. It might seem a little forceful and all but he means well, he knows you're strong enough

Monkey D. Luffy

- okokok I’m gonna say it, once Luffy gets introduced to sex and all that, I can see him having a high sex drive. Idk why I can just see it

- but at first, he does not know and does not care. And you liked it that way, you didn’t have to worry about having sex or whatnot. Until he found out and now you were practically hiding from him

- he’s definitely pushy when it comes to it. Not in a way to make you feel uncomfortable or like you are being forced or anything, all he’ll constantly ask you about it.

- he’ll whine about it a lot but he’s not gonna force you. He knows that’s you scared and he doesn’t what you to feel scared. Although he’ll definitely asking until your ready

- when you finally decided that you wanna do it, just like everyone else he’ll pounce on you right away. And if you weren’t careful enough he would’ve done it where y’all were standing at the moment

- he talks a lot during the process too. He doesn’t want you to feel scared and alone so he’ll talk a lot and all just to you know he’s there with you

- like Zoro, Luffy will softly manhandle you in a way. He’s a bit eager so he has the energy he needs to use and get rid of

- although he does end up being a bit childish when it comes to it, that same childishness is what makes you feel so comfortable and not alone.

[hollyjollybaby]

Big brain dump update?

Holly woke up last Friday morning with a crazy rash all over her body. Red angry dots from head to toe! Of course, on a weekday morning when I was alone and totally freaking out but remaining calm (I hope) outwardly. Stripped her down and took a bunch of pics/videos to document. Sent a quick text to Jake’s work phone (more reliable than his personal phone) that he needed to get ready to leave work if I could get an appointment. Jumped on the phone and waited on hold for 30 minutes to talk for a nurse for five mins 🙄 she had me give her Benadryl and Tylenol and wanted me to call back in an hour if it looked worse. Jake got home right after I got off the phone and gave her the medicine. After 30 minutes it was looking worse before our eyes, so I called back to the clinic and spent another 25 minutes on hold to have another short conversation where I was like yeah, she definitely needs an appointment. Thankfully they were able to get her in in an hour.

I really had no idea what to think as nothing like this has ever happened to her before! The doctors visit was actually pretty reassuring because he wasn’t too concerned and didn’t think that we needed to take amoxicillin off her “list” unless it happens again. Basically said that kids get weird rashes from random viruses sometimes and it just needed time to peak and then go away. It cleared up a little each day and by this Monday it was totally gone. My poor baby though, she definitely was not feeling well even though she wasn’t scratching at the rash. She slept 1-4:30 on Friday, then back to bed at 8!

I got my gigantic ass sale order in from Kate Quinn 🙈🤫 90% of it was for me and 90% of that stuff fits, so I’m happy! I’m changing my clothes like 3 times a day to wear all my new joggers and shorts and tops lol 😎

We’ve been going to a lot of outside patio lunches downtown this summer and Holls is honestly such a delight 90% of the time. The 10% she’s not are rough lmaoo. But she’s like this polite little person with the waitstaff, she exclaims loudly and enthusiastically when the food comes and always makes people laugh, and she’s just so damn cute!!

I’m having a lot of #feels about her starting preschool in 3 weeks (from today!!!). It’s sooo part time that it’s laughable that I’m nervous. She’s not eating meals or napping there, I can be there in an instant to get her. I’m not worried about something HAPPENING to her, I’m just worried about her. I’ve never left her with someone other than my mom and Jake’s mom. I trust the teacher. There will always be another parent there too and sometimes it’ll be me! I’m just worried for how she will react and will she spend the entire first few days just sobbing for 2.5 hours 😭 there’s also the matter of, she’s never been in a “school” type setting before. She’s been home with me and never had to like….meet expectations set for her by teachers/adults of authority other than me. I’ve never just left her somewhere where they’re gonna expect things of her. What if she won’t share toys or colors because she’s never HAD to before? And then what if the other kids don’t like her and she doesn’t have friends 😢 what if she’s asking for something and they don’t know what she’s saying 😔 I cannot handle the thought of her being there and wondering where I am and not being comforted by the teacher 😭 I am totally aware I’m spiraling and need to r e l a x

In order to distract from all these feels I ordered the literal cutest first day of school outfit:

I also entirely skipped the last 3 weeks of her tumbling class 😳🫥🫥🫥 not my finest hour. Sometimes things like to pop up and remind me that underneath the newfound ~control~ medication has given me, I still have some crippling anxiety. I signed her up for an open gym slot one morning a week at another place, that starts the same week as her school. We’ll have a little block of “activity” days bookended by the weekend and a couple unstructured days. I think she is too young to get anything out of the instructed class, but will love the open gym and just getting to do whatever for an hour. (Hang off the bar over the trampoline)

🐠 little fishy has mastered swimming with the puddle jumper and is fully obsessed with the pool. She asks to go over there at the funniest times, like in the middle of dinner or getting ready for bed. It makes me so happy that she loves the water so much. I was a water baby and so is she ☺️ my Pisces. I think about our trip to Florida literally EVERY day. I’m not even scared to take her on the plane haha. I’m SO excited to see her see the ocean for the first time. And to watch her play on the beach. I have sooo many happy childhood memories of playing on the beach with my parents. I LOVE this part of being a parent!! Watching that perfect girl experience joy is like the ultimate feeling in the universe.

We spent 2.5 hours at the playground this evening. All of a sudden, miss cautious is going down all kinds of slides without holding any hands, flying up stairs way faster (still cautious coming down 🤍) and just overall becoming waaay more confident at the playground and other social settings. My absolute favorite part of being a parent is discovering who she is and watching HER discover who she is. It’s a process that happens over and over again and it’s so beautiful and special.

[ranhaitanisgf]

PLEASE I BEG OF YOU IM SO DOWN BAD FOR MITSURU 💔 CAN YOU PLEASE DO A READER THATS VERY SHY AND SENSITIVE PLEASE AND THANKS

mitsuru hitokoe with a shy and sensitive s/o

[𖤐] hi anon! thank you for this request ahhlkejff :]] sorry these are kind of short, i was starting to run out of ideas, but if you want me to do more just send another ask in! hope you don't mind, and thank you again for the request! hope you enjoy!

❧ masterlist

--

✗ because of mitsuru’s constant playing around, he’s going to try to get you to open up a little more to other people. he’s noticed that you don’t really interact with others unless you’re really close to him, and he wants to make sure that you have other people that you can talk to and rely on if he’s not around.

✗ when he’s around you, he’ll tease you a lot less because he knows that you’re going to probably overthink something that he says. he might slip up sometimes, but he’s trying his best. he’s never really been surrounded by people who were shy or sensitive, so he might look some things up online about how to be more aware about it.

✗ all of the other supervisors will get warnings if they’re being too harsh with their words, (even though they’ve literally known you for years LMAOO) and mitsuru will take it upon himself to accompany you anywhere if you’re feeling a bit nervous.

✗ if you guys are out and you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed, he’ll put his hat on your head and pull it down over your eyes and take you hand in his to help calm you down a little bit.

✗ despite how we see him, (as a immature and no-chill type of guy) he’s actually able to read you really easily and tell if you need reassurance with something. he’ll take you in his arms, and will pat the top of your head, and tell you that you shouldn’t worry about what anybody else thinks, because his opinion is the only one that matters in your relationship.

✗ willing to literally fight anybody who tries to take advantage of your personality to make you do something; he will not hesitate dude.

✗ he also is very protective of you, although he doesn’t regularly show it. it’ll only show up if he knows that something is up with you.

✗ he knows all of your nervous habits, and he’ll act accordingly based on them.

✗ mitsuru has absolutely no problem in ordering for you at a restaurant, or going to get groceries if you’re feeling too anxious to do it that day. he will be your servant.

✗ he’s not the best at comforting people, but he will really try to make sure that you’re happy and not stressed out or sad, because he hates to see you like that.

✗ he thinks you’re really cute when you’re flustered, and because of your shy nature, you’ll get flustered very easily. he’ll constantly be getting you flustered, (he won’t do it so much so that it crosses any lines though). he just likes to see your reactions to his words.

✗ overall, he just thinks that you’re really cute and need to be protected at all costs.

✗ “hey hey hey, don’t be sad! you’re overthinking this again, i’m sure that the warden doesn’t hate you, alright?”

--

thank you for reading!!

[wizardcommune]

tanjirou kamado sfw alphabet

pairing - tanjirou kamado x demon slayer!reader

warnings - there’s a mention of him proposing in r, so if that makes you uncomfortable make sure to skip it!

word count - 1.6k

a/n - i really like writing for tanjirou since he’s a kin of mine; it makes it a lot easier HAHA

also i apologize it got shorter at the end!!

(requests are appreciated! rules + media i write for are in my pinned post)

a = affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?)

tanjirou is actually affectionate in every way!! he loves physical affection because it’s the most soothing to him, but he’s always complimenting you or giving you gifts, too. he likes receiving affection the same way, but isn’t disappointed if you don’t. (he understands people show their love in different ways, so it doesn’t hurt him at all! as long as you know how much he appreciates you, he’s fine.)

b = best friend (what would they be like as a best friend? how would the friendship start?)

it’s likely he met you at the final selection or during one of his missions, and he took a liking to you immediately. you met nezuko by accident, passively pointing out that “there was a demon in his box.” he immediately shielded it, but seeing how you didn’t make any advances calmed him.

as a best friend, he respects you so much!!! seeing you with the others makes him happy too. he’s always doing acts of service to help you, and giving you advice that urokadaki or the hashira gave him!!

c = cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?)

tanjirou really loves cuddles! (he likes physical affection in general, really.) it makes him feel like you’re both safe.

he’s okay with any position, but he prefers to be able to see your face. he also really likes talking to you while cuddling!

d = domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)

he’s great at cooking + cleaning since he helped take care of his siblings! i hc that he’s really good at baking, so he’ll often make random food for you and the others. :)

very very minor spoilers for the end of the manga (it’s the same spoiler as the one in the zenitsu sfw alphabet):

in terms of settling down, his dream was literally just to move in with you and the others, and to actually be able to do that meant so much! 

some day he’d like to have kids, but if you didn’t want any, he’d just hope the others have kids LMAOO

e = ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

ONCE AGAIN IM SKIPPING THIS BC IT MAKES ME SAD

f = fiance(e) (how do they feel about commitment? how quick would they want to get married?)

commitment doesn’t scare him, luckily! he honestly really enjoys the idea of getting to be with his partner forever :))))

i think he’d want to get married a few years into the relationship, but he’d hold off until he was absolutely sure they were safe.

g = gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

he’s so gentle ohh my god

even though he knows you’re strong, he’s still very careful with you!

emotionally, he’s the same! he never wants to say anything that could potentially hurt someone. especially since he’s tanjirou; he’s so kind 

h = hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?)

hugs are his favorite; he hugs you as often as possible!! they’re really comforting as he’ll always rest his head on yours or on your shoulder. he likes rubbing your back, too!

i = i love you (how fast do they say the L-word?)

really fast, actually! it’s not like he’s rushing it, though. he always says ‘i love you’ to his friends and nezuko because he wants them to know he cares about them. so when he started dating you, he still said it!

j = jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they’re jealous?)

honestly? tanjirou doesn’t get jealous. he respects you enough to know you wouldn’t cheat on him, so if he ever sees someone flirting with you he trusts you to tell them you’re taken.

if the person flirting doesn’t let up, however, he’ll get more protective and will them to leave.

k = kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)

his kisses are very gentle!! he doesn’t want to overwhelm you in case you want to stop. 

his favorite places to kiss you are your forehead and shoulder!! for the former, it’s always comforting to him when he’s able to cup your face.

his favorite places to be kissed are his neck and nose. it always flusters him HAHA

l = little ones (how are they around children?)

king had five siblings, he’s great with kids. he likes them too! he’s sweet anyways, but he always tries to be like. 10x kinder when he’s with some

he really likes giving kids gifts, too! if he finds a cool gem or something on his travels, he’ll gift that to them :)))

m = morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

since tanjirou always woke up so early when he lived with his family, it’s a habit that stuck with him! staying in bed after he wakes up makes him feel restless, so he’ll normally just kiss your forehead and get up

n = night (how are nights spent with them?)

before bed, he always makes tea! it helps him sleep better and he hopes it helps you too. right before you go to sleep, he likes asking about your day or dumb stuff that inosuke did

o = open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

it won’t take to long for him to tell you about his family. he just wants to make sure he can trust you!! he won’t want to talk about it often though, considering how recent they died

it’s a huge compliment when he does, actually! it means he holds you in really high respect

p = patience (how easily angered are they?)

this is tanjirou we’re talking about, literally nothing you can do will piss him off. unless you beat up nezuko or something ig??? please don’t do that

q = quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

he works really hard to remember everything! he listens very carefully to you, so it’s not too hard to pick up on things you might like when you mention them in passing

(he’ll normally incorporate those into acts of service, too! if you offhandedly mention not wanting to go get your medicine the next day, you can bet it’ll be left on the table when you wake up)

r = remember (what is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

the day he proposed! he worked really hard for it to be perfect, and to see it went well makes him go ^^^^^

s = security (how protective are they? how would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?)

he’s pretty protective, but not to the point of being overbearing! he’s scared of losing more people he cares about fuck you chapter 179

when fighting demons, he would give you space to fight but also keeps an eye on you to make sure nothing happens. 

t = try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

he puts in so much effort. he really wants to make sure you know how much he loves you, so he always puts effort into little things like everyday tasks! like i said in q, he listens to you very carefully which can help him make really nice gifts!

he also makes sure he never forgets something like your birthday or an anniversary, as he knows that it would hurt.

u = ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)

NONE HE IS ABSOLUTELY PERFECT AND I WANT HIM TO HAVE A GOOD LIFE

v = vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

pretty much not at all! besides making sure he looks clean, he’s proud of not having self esteem issues in that regard. 

w = whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)

in a way? he really doesn’t like the idea of depending so much on someone, especially since if something happened he wouldn’t know what to do. he has nezuko and the others, so if something were to happen to you he would be able to heal. (it doesn’t mean it would hurt any less, however.)

x = xtra (a random headcanon for them.)

he loves singing! i know that it’s canon he’s a shitty singer, but shhh he’s good at it

he definitely used to sing his siblings to sleep, so if you ask him to he won’t hesitate :((( crying

y = yuck (what are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

he would really want a respectful s/o. it means a lot and it helps take some stress of his shoulders when he knows he doesn’t have to constantly correct you like inosuke LMAO

z = zzz (what are some sleep habits of theirs?)

if he’s not cuddling you, he really likes holding your hand when you sleep!!! it’s makes him feel really comfortable. 

when he’s on missions, he’s a vv light sleeper, but whenever he’s with you somewhere safe he sleeps a lot better!! 

[ahjustroza]

Hello, if you're still taking requests, what about a HC for the Main 6 with a GN!MC who is like Deathstroke/Deadpool basically an immortal mercenary who can't die and gets into all sorts of dangerous situations

Lmao! Your wish is my command!

Also, I still take requests yes. I just write painfully slow sometimes lol 😔

Deadpool-like MC Headcanon

Asra

Did you saw him mad before?

He will make the hellfire fall upon your enemies

Asra is not the one to fight often

Yet if he senses trouble he will be on alert

Will get you behind him too

So cute

He knows you can regenerate

But what if you suddenly won't heal anymore?

He is not taking any risks

He hates it even when you get sick, what do you mean people wanting your ability to heal??

No. No. No.

No no no no no.

No.

No one is allowed to touch his lover.

The mere thought of it makes him sick.

Asra scares to touch you

What if he holds your hand too tight?

What if his hands are dry and won't feel nice when he touches your face?

What if you will be uncomfortable with him clinging to you?

I mean he is touchy with you.

This is not like that.

He loves you so much that sometimes he just can't even touch you

He will be fine with only looking at you and love you

Whenever he touches you his fingers feels like feathers on your skin

So he will ask a lot of protection runes and spells from Muriel

Will also research your condition

Will make a great to heart conversation with you about not getting yourself into dangerous situations

He is too open to you when it comes to feelings and opinions

He knows your everything

And you know his everything

You know full well that Asra is not dealing well with the possibility of you getting hurt or even die

So you have to make him sure that you are safe at all times.

Annd

Allow him to be close to you.

Don't let him fear not being able to hear and feel your heartbeats again.


Nadia

No.

It is a marvel that you have such a gift

But no injuries are allowed in this palace.

Especially no injures for MC.

You are not allowed to get hurt.

You have to get spoiled rotten by her

Sit on her lap and ask for silks and gold

Not ask to go out avenging

She knows about combat and is educated we'll about it

So if a fight is inevitable, Nadia will be your personal Spartacus on the streets

And your personal Doctor House on the sheets.

Have you ever seen Nadi grumpy??

Oh my, you will love it

She will tell you exactly what would happen if your wound was worst and you never had the power to regenerate

Everywhere you go, she must escort you

And if you come with “I can do whatever I want” she will make you her right-hand person or something in the palace lmao

She naturally likes you around her so more the benefits for her

But she will not let you go off her sight for too long

If so, like Muriel she will trust you to people she knows that will keep you safe

Will make you stay in bed when you get hurt

Even tho the times you get to heal under ten minutes

You must stay in bed for the entire day and she will prepare a shared bath for you two

Also declare your attackers the “enemies of the state” lmao


Julian

Healing huh?

He can too!

Insert meme Both? Both. Here

Since he can heal as well why would you let yourself get hurt??

Or at least that's what he says anyway.

He will get hurt for you. Why bother yourself with the trouble?

He got this.

He got you.

Will jump in front of you

Will be dramatically heroic in front of you too

He hates the idea of you getting hurt so he will sacrifice himself each time

So you have to be careful with him

He won't be hesitant to die for you

Won't hesitate to get deadly wounded only for you to not get hurt

He will always test out the curious-looking floors himself before letting you enter a new places etc.

You have to think three times before doing something

Ask key questions before each decision you make concerning dangerous things

Would that possibly hurt me?

If so, if Julian jumps to the action without thinking, will he get hurt more than they would have hurt you if he wasn't there?

Now ask the questions two more times.

Portia

Guess who will not give a damn about your regeneration?

You are not even allowed to get a paper cut 
Portia is like the mom friend in a relationship 
She will feel every painful thing you go through herself

In her heart

It's almost impressive because she will know whenever you experience pain

Like a sixth sense

And even tho you can heal, she will wrap your injuries

Will ask so many questions

How you ended up like this?

Who hurt you?

Does she need to punch anyone for it?

Will she end up punching someone even tho you say it's all good?

She will have lots of bandaids lol

Heart-shaped, cute colored pick your poison

She will also get insanely worried and anxious when you are out of sight in a dangerous place/ situation

She had many panic attacks too

With you beside her or without you around her

She will cry and end up overthinking everything

Not because Portia doesn't trust you

But because she has a traumatic past with nearly losing her family

She had to live many years worry for Julian and now she will worry for you

She just can't lose her family

Even the thought of it makes her shiver and want to vomit because of stress

More on that

She hates that she might be too weak to protect you from harm

Even tho you get to heal yourself

Even tho you are smart and know how to get yourself out of trouble

Portia will work out and train herself in magic and all kinds of stuff to be stronger

Only for you to not get any harm

Even the paper cuts.


Muriel

Doesn't matter how fast you heal Muriel will be in a state of about to faint and having a heart attack each time you get hurt

He will ask soo many questions about your injuries

Will give you looots of silent treatments after each trouble you got yourself into because he “told you not to go” lmaoo

After giving up and admitting that you will not change your lifestyle, Muriel will change his

He will be like the type to put baby protectors on every corner of the house

Everyday he will ask himself

Why are we still here?

Only to suffer??

Bc you are the little shit to wake him up in the middle of the night to say you have a paper cut kind of annoying him

He will be more alert than ever when you two are out in the public

One hand always ready to grab a wooden staff he carries around under his cloak

He hates the idea of a fight but he’ll fight the devil itself for you if necessary

He'll never leave you alone

Will be two steps near you all the time unless you are with someone he trusts

Like Asra

In the shop. Maaaybe

But outside? No.

He thinks you both need protection smh


Lucio

Yoooo

So you can like grow a limb or something?

Shit he should have asked that from the devil instead of becoming a living goat ghost

He will hate it when you are in pain but not the type to get super overprotective over you like Muriel

He knows about war and fights and he had experienced many types of physical pain

That means he will be able to understand you the most in that way

During a fight, he will swing a sword alongside you but won't jump in front of you to prevent you from getting scars

He knows you will heal but he won't.

Your healing will fascinate him each time like he never seen you heal before

He will also give you a lot of freedom than most people might think

Like the complete opposite of Julian

He will let you do anything you want during dangerous situations

He knows that you will be fine at the end

But he trusts your wisdom the most

You probably experienced many types of danger your entire life

And most probably you are better than him in defenses and combat

So you can go anywhere you want

He will just make sure that you don't die

Like literal dying.

No ghost MCs dying.

But he will also still get very furious when someone tries to hurt you

He will fight back like a demon released from its chains each time people hurt you
 
 

[satoruvt]

for now; forever

pairing → kwon soonyoung x reader

word count → 9015

genre → mostly fluff, angst ↳ tags: ooh boy. firewatch au, banter, like a little bit (a lot) of pining, strangers to friends to… something, FLIRTING, reader’s kinda fucked up but its ok, hoshi’s weird and endearing (as always), a tiny bit of hurt/comfort, minghao best boy, soonyoung is very sweet it makes me want to cry

synopsis → after an unfortunate burnout that lands you in every critic’s negative and all-seeing eye, you decide to take a break from the one thing you know. you’re not sure if you’ll find what you’re looking for out in the middle of the woods - if you’re looking for anything at all - but at the very least, soonyoung will make the hunt a little less lonely.

warnings → there’s eventually a forest fire (starts on day 64 and is mentioned throughout the rest of the fic) that leads to an evacuation but it’s not super detailed, mentions and descriptions of creative burnout/breakdown

a/n → IT’S FINALLY HERE!!! i made a fancy banner nd everything <3 i know 9k isn’t a lot to some people but this is probably the longest one shot i’ve ever written LMAOO so i hope it’s paced ok and everything <33 PLEASE let me know what yall thought about this i am insanely proud of it. ok thats it hehe. hope you enjoy!!! see u on the other side!!!!

btw here’s a fun playlist of songs i listened to while writing mixed with some songs i think reflect the fic super well <33

DAY ONE.

So. You’re… out here, now.

Save for the bugs you have to swat at every fifteen seconds, the outdoors doesn’t seem that bad. The weather isn’t too hot (yet, your mind reminds you) and there’s something about the color of the sky that makes your heart constrict in your chest. You can’t tell if it’s good or bad, but given your luck recently, you’re hoping it’s not a warning for the coming months - God knows you need a break. The weight of the journal in your bag feels heavier than any of the camping gear you brought with you.

You debate texting Minghao that you’ve made it to the park safely, but when you check your phone after deciding yes, you see the words no service instead of the familiar lines of a signal. It’s not that big of a deal - you’d told him when you left that you probably wouldn’t have service at all - but a little part of you feels the tender shake of anxiety at the thought of not being able to contact your best friend. 

He was the most worried out of everyone when you told him you were leaving for the summer. You can’t really blame him - it was abrupt, you saw the flyer at the grocery store and took it - but after what happened… doing something felt, feels, better than sitting around and waiting for nothing to happen. Waiting for a healing you aren’t sure will ever come, at least not completely.

“Is this really…” Minghao had started upon first entering your apartment after getting your text. Clothes were thrown all over your bedroom floor in an attempt to pack. “Do you need to do this?”

The tone of his voice told you he wasn’t going to try to stop you, that he just wanted to make sure this was what you needed. You had only nodded, sitting down on the edge of your bed to fold clothes and pack them into your suitcase.

“I just don’t want you to run away from it all,” Minghao said softly, sitting next to you. “You’ll need to face it eventually.”

“Is escaping really such a bad thing?” You asked, looking at Minghao. He gave you the look he did when you said something stupid, and if you weren’t still so wired from everything, you might have laughed. Instead, you sighed, placing a pair of pants into your suitcase. “I just need some time.”

Before you can face it, before you can come back, before you can write again… you still don’t know. Minghao had placed a kind hand on your shoulder to tell you there was no rush.

It’d taken no more than two days for you to get everything ready - including buying some apparently necessary survival equipment from Target. In a matter of a few hours you had gathered everything up, texted some other friends and your family that you might not be available the next few months and then… you left. 

(Your manager was pretty pissed off that you left so suddenly, but she was also pissed off at you when you told her you needed a break for at least a few weeks, so you’re not really offended.)

You take one last longing look at your car before locking it, pocketing the keys, and starting on your hike.

The hike takes almost the whole day. 

You think you almost cry when you finally see the watch tower you’re supposed to be staying in, your legs barely able to hold the rest of your body up. The hike wasn’t hard, really - long, though, and for someone who usually spends a work day sitting at a desk, you’re surprised you’re still alive. You find the little lock that holds the keys to the tower at the bottom of the stairs, fastened onto the railing. It takes a few seconds for you to enter the code you’d been given earlier, relishing in the soft breeze the cools the sweat on your face and neck. The sun is just barely starting to set beyond the mountains, a beautiful sight that you can’t properly focus on because all you want to do is pass out. You’re pretty sure you almost do on your way up the stairs.

The cabin at the top of the tower is pretty scarcely furnished, save for a few basic necessities (a gas stove rests on one wall, a small desk opposite to it by the door, a mini-fridge, and a bed in the corner plus what looks like a map table in the center of the room). It’s a little weird, a feeling caught between the nostalgia of moving into a new place and something you can’t quite name, but you figure you have a few months to make it all a little more comfortable.

For now, though, you feel like you’re on the last leg of your energy. Your mind is saying eat, sleep, eat, sleep on repeat and you have to agree with it, so you change the sheets on the bed, take down the boards over the windows while you wait for the macaroni from the Kraft box to cook. You end up eating a few forkfuls of poorly-made mac and cheese before crashing.

When you wake up, it’s to gentle static and a semi-clear, unfamiliar voice. It takes you a minute to remember where you are and what you’re doing, too disoriented to even think about the voice, but then - oh. Forest. Watch tower. Escape. Okay.

“Yo, Cottonwood! Am I coming through okay? Pick up your radio!”

Right. The voice. Radio?

“Come on, I saw you get in yesterday, I know you’re there. Unless,” a gasp, “you died! Oh my God, this is like a horror movie… and I’m next!”

You manage to wake up enough to locate your radio (a walkie-talkie resting on a charger on the desk) and, after a few seconds of gentle struggle, work it. “Not dead,” you say, then clear your throat because your voice does not sound good right after waking up. “I mean… almost. But not dead.”

There’s barely a moment of hesitation before the person on the other end hoots, apparently excited. “Arisen from the dead! Brought back to life by none other than the legendary Hoshi!”

A brief thought crosses your mind about having to listen to this guy all summer, but you quickly shoo it away. You won’t have to deal with it for the whole three months, right? “Who… who is Hoshi?”

“Me!” The voice answers, sounding a little too smug. “But it’s really just an alias. You can call me Soonyoung. I’m at Twin Peaks tower, west of yours!”

You spin around your cabin, looking through the windows cluelessly - how long have you been asleep, it’s practically afternoon - until you see a very small silhouette of another tower in the distance. You nod, then realize Soonyoung can’t see you. “Oh. Cool.”

“Aren’t you gonna tell me your name?” Soonyoung asks, but his tone is light, breezy. You blink, reciting your name to him in a daze. “Pretty! So, what brings you out here?”

You weren’t expecting that question. “What?”

Soonyoung giggles into the radio. “Everyone comes out here for some reason. Like… Jihoon says it’s ‘cause it helps him write music. And Joshua loves the outdoors, so… what’s your reason?”

“You…” you start, not exactly wanting to tell a stranger the reason you ran away from everything you know. “Do you normally ask this many questions?”

“Yeah!”

You feel yourself sigh, already tired again.

“I… just wanted to get away for a while,” you end up saying. A half-truth. “I live in the city.”

“No way,” Soonyoung gasps excitedly. “Me too! I wonder if both of us have ever been walking and, like, passed each other without knowing…”

This isn’t exactly what you had in mind when you thought of escaping.

DAY TWO.

The next morning, you dedicate time to getting a little more settled into your home for the next few months. You didn’t bring a lot of decor - you didn’t think you needed any - but even seeing your blanket on the bed and a few books you need to catch up on reading stacked on the desk makes the place feel a little bit more like you. You eventually reach the journal you packed (that Minghao made you pack) and stare at it like it might do something. Like it might tell you to write again, or like it might tell you to leave everything behind. You don’t really know what you want from it.

A sing-songed version of your name comes from your radio and you blink away from the journal, set it down on the desk. “Good morning!” Soonyoung says from the other end, and you feel yourself take a deep breath as you pick up your radio and press down the button so he can hear you.

“Morning, Soonyoung,” you respond, calm compared to his excitement. 

“So… what are your plans for today?”

“Um,” you pause, brows furrowed, looking towards the direction of his tower even though you know he can’t see you. “Looking out for fires?”

“That’s boring,” is Soonyoung’s immediate response, and you laugh a little.

“Kinda my job for a while.”

And listen, you’ve known Soonyoung for less than a full 24 hours, but even before your brain really comprehends what he’s saying you know you’re not going to like it. “Wait, that reminds me,” he says, tone of his voice a little less overexcited puppy. “What did you do before this? Or, like, what’s your career? I mean, you don’t have to answer, I just thought it could be a way for us to get to know each other…”

His voice fades away for the split second you remember a little too much all at once, but somehow your voice still sounds put together when you speak. “Nothing special,” you say. There’s a pause when you don’t elaborate any further, but instead of asking about it, Soonyoung changes the subject.

“Okay!” he says, back to a more playful tone. “Anyways, I asked about your plans ‘cause I kind of need you to do something for me.”

“Already asking favors?” you tease. “We just met, Soonyoung.”

You hear him laugh, loud and hearty, and it’s contagious even through a radio line so you feel your own smile pull at your lips. “One of the other lookouts found some teenagers with fireworks,” he informs you. “I need you to meet him and get the fireworks from him.”

Your feet are already in your shoes, one halfway tied. “You can’t do this?”

Soonyoung’s voice is strangely thoughtful, but you catch a hint of mischief at the end of his sentence. “I would, but Jihoonie said he’d eat me if I tried to see him again and I think he’s serious this time.”

He tells you where the other lookout - Jihoon - should be and gives you a quick lesson on how to properly use your map to get there. You’re not really excited for another hike this early on (you’re still sore from even getting up here) but by the time you meet the halfway mark you’re convinced it’s not that bad. It’s neither long nor challenging, and… well, Soonyoung’s insistent on keeping you company the whole time. 

When you see what looks like a guy at the edge of a now-abandoned camp, you tell Soonyoung you’ll radio him when you’re on your way back to your tower. “Hey,” you call out as you get closer. The man looks up at you, his eyes sharp but not unkind. “Jihoon?”

“Yeah,” he replies. Under his cap you notice that his hair is a gentle silver, almost purple. He’s dressed casually, like you, and you suppose it’s a given since there’s no exact dress code for this job.  “You’re the newbie?”

You didn’t know people knew about you. “I.. I guess,” you say, then tell him your name.

“Cool,” Jihoon says, voice flat like he’s distracted. He picks up the bag next to his feet and hands it to you. “Take these. Thanks.”

He starts to walk away, down a trail opposite the direction you came, but you think of earlier, when Soonyoung asked about your job (or when he didn’t). You call after Jihoon, hesitate, but then opt to make this quick since he looks like he’d rather be anywhere but here. “Have you and Soonyoung… known each other for long?”

Jihoon turns around. He shrugs, then nods. “We met in college, a few years ago.”

“What kind of person is he?”

You watch in vague amusement as Jihoon’s nose scrunches up, but the small smile on his face refuses to hide and it makes you giggle. “Really annyoing,” he tells you, then pauses for a second like he’s looking for the right words, “kind of overwhelming sometimes. But he’s good. He’s someone you want around.”

Someone you want around, your brain repeats to you. You nod with a friendly smile as you haphazardly stuff the fireworks in your hiking bag. “Okay. Thank you.”

Jihoon offers an acknowledging nod of his own before continuing on his way back to his tower. You’re about five minutes into your hike back to yours when your radio sounds from your pocket with a now-familiar voice.

“Are you on your way back?” Soonyoung asks. “You forgot to tell me!”

“Sorry, yeah, I am now. I was talkin’ to Jihoon for a second.”

“Really? That’s weird. He rarely talks to anyone, especially strangers. What’d you talk about?”

You can’t help the small smile that lands on your face as you speak. “Stuff to blackmail you with.”

You think you hear Soonyoung’s groan all the way from his tower, and your smile only grows when it turns into a laugh.

DAY FIVE.

The clouds look dark today.

They haven’t covered the sun completely yet, but they’re closing in fast. You hope that it rains, already sick and tired of the disgusting heat, but also. Something else.

Rainy days always used to be the best to write, your brain supplies to you. You brave a glance at the still-unopened journal on the desk, thinking that maybe…

Your radio turning on drags you away from the crack in metaphorical door, coming at the perfect time as if to tell you that you’re not ready yet. You listen to it, grab the radio, murmur a greeting to Soonyoung.

“It’s getting pretty dark out, huh?” He says. He must be looking at the sky, too.

“Yeah,” you hum. “Hopefully the storm isn’t too bad.”

The line goes quiet, but you know that Soonyoung’s still there even if he isn’t saying anything. The knowledge comforts you, just a little.

“Well... got any rainy day stories?”

DAY SEVENTEEN.

“So, Soonyoung,” you call into your radio as you step outside. You’ve taken advantage of the small balcony around the entire cabin, setting up a few chairs you found in the storage unit at the bottom of the tower (just in case someone stops by, you tell yourself) and a small table you weren’t using inside. The nights are hot but still relaxing, and you find yourself sitting outside often, catching up on reading or taking in the stars. 

“I can’t believe you radioed me first,” Soonyoung responds, and you hear the smugness in his voice. “I’m so happy!”

Soonyoung somehow almost always manages to be with you in the nights, too, even if not physically. Being away from the urban civilization you’re used to has been a little difficult to adjust to, but you feel significantly less alone whenever you hear him calling you. You tell him to be quiet even though both of you are laughing. The distant crickets make your chest warm.

“What do you do? You didn’t tell me before,” You ask him after a second. There’s a small wave of anxiety that rushes over you at the idea that he might call you out about when he asked you the same thing. That was two weeks ago, though, you think, and Soonyoung wouldn’t. You’re sure he’s been able to tell that it’s a touchy subject. You’re not as discreet as you think you are, even if (and you’ve learned this the past few weeks) Soonyoung’s a bit more on the oblivious side sometimes.

“I dance!” 

Somehow, despite having not even seen what he looks like, it’s fitting. “Like… teach, or choreograph, or…”

“A little of everything,” Soonyoung tells you, and then starts elaborating. His voice echoes through your radio and you look up at the stars as you listen to him, trying to map out constellations from memory. He sounds so excited to simply talk about it, you can’t imagine what he must look like when he’s actually on stage. You hope you get to see it one day.

“You’ll have to teach me something sometime,” you say once he’s finished, voicing your thoughts. With a giggle that sounds like the stars above you, he tells you he’d love to.

A moment of quiet passes, spent focusing on the tiny specks of fireflies you see in the field around your tower and feeling the summer breeze as it passes. The words slip out of your mouth with much less resistance than you thought they would.

“I used to write,” you murmur into your radio. It takes you a moment to register the heavy beat of your heart, like you just got back from a run.

“Used to?” Soonyoung asks, curious but soft.

“For now,” you answer. The ache you’ve become familiar with throbs in your chest. “Hopefully not forever.”

It’s not the whole story - not even close - but you figure you might be able to tell him with time. The thought stresses you out even when you have nothing to stress about, and you think Soonyoung is psychic because he says, next, “the stars are really pretty tonight.”

You’re not looking at the sky when you answer. Your head is tilted in the direction of his tower. 

“They really are,” you say.

DAY THIRTY-THREE.

You’ve fallen into a bit of a routine with Soonyoung. 

Not a day goes by where you don’t talk to him - the one day you radioed and he didn’t pick up you genuinely thought something happened to him, seconds away from calling a park ranger. Right before you actually did it, though, he picked up his radio and said he had been taking a nap.

(His voice was a little groggy from sleep, sounded like he was pouting whether he meant to or not and you’d be lying if you said the thought didn’t make your heart skip a few beats - but if anyone asked, you’d definitely lie about it.)

One of you calls the other around the same time every morning and you don’t put down your radio until the sun is well behind the mountains. You’ve grown used to his presence, in a way, even if you can’t really feel him with you (though sometimes you swear you can). It’s comforting to have him out there with you, and it’s been so long since you’ve talked to someone the way you do with Soonyoung… you find yourself looking forward to every morning, waiting for when you hear him over your radio.

Today is no different.

Well, in an unrelated way, it is - you have to hike to a supply box to get your surplus of food for the next month and a half you have left. But even as you’re doing inventory of what you have left in your cabin on a piece of paper, you’re waiting for Soonyoung’s usual good morning. It comes as always, makes you smile when you hear it.

“Good morning!” 

You leave your scratch paper on your desk and reach for your radio. “Morning,” you say after you’ve pressed the button down. 

“So…” Soonyoung trails off. “Supply drop day.”

“Yeah,” you reply, sitting on your bed.

“Both of us are getting crates of food today…”

What is he getting at? “Uh-huh…?”

“Both of us… getting supplies… from the same place.”

A confused laugh leaves your lips. “Soonyoung, what is your point?”

Even for as often as you talk to him, you’re still always surprised when he starts yelling. “Let’s meet up!” he exclaims, obviously excited, and it clicks in your head.

“Oh my God, can we do that?” 

“Yeah!” Soonyoung sounds like he’s grinning, smile palpable in his voice. “If we pull some strings with the other lookouts and get hiking at the right time, it’s totally possible.”

Holy shit. Your heart is beating wildly, butterflies swarming around it at the thought of meeting Soonyoung in person. “Okay,” you tell him, noting that you sound a little breathless. “Okay, yeah, let’s do it.”

It takes a few minutes to work everything out - the supply boxes should be dropped off by midday, so you can leave your tower around then and get to the drop location in a little over an hour. Soonyoung has to leave earlier than you since he’s farther away, but if everything goes well the two of you should get to the drop location close to the same time, margin of error small. You radio Jihoon to cover for you while you’re out, and he agrees, although he sounds a bit miffed.

When you finally leave for your hike, you’re not expecting how quiet it is. Soonyoung’s usually there to cover it up with his voice - you don’t hike often (you’ve not had to, given your job for the summer is to watch for fires) but whenever you have he’s been there to keep you company. You plug in your earphones about halfway through your trip just to drown out the quiet, something more to listen to than just trees and the sound of your own footsteps.

Eventually you make it to the supply box, and, well. There’s a guy. Standing in front of a long, green box - you think you see lookout tower names engraved ever few inches: Thorofare, Cottonwood, Twin Peaks. Packing some ready-to-eat meals into his backpack.

Holy shit, Soonyoung? your brain automatically asks, and it sends your heart spiraling up and down. You’re not sure what you thought he looked like, but it wasn’t this. Tall, lean - wait, you don’t even know if this is actually him yet.

Before you can think too much about it, you call out, voice tentative. “Are you… Soonyoung?”

The man turns around, shakes his head with a kind smile. “No,” he says. “I’m Joshua.”

You think about throwing yourself into the river by your tower when you get back for absolutely no reason. Somehow you manage a polite smile and a gentle sorry.

“No, don’t apologize, you’re fine!” Joshua chirps, adjusting the cap on his head. “You’re looking for him?”

You pause. Those aren’t the exact words you would use, but they’re not technically wrong, so you nod. After all, you don’t know what he looks like (you probably should have asked him before both of you left, but you weren’t expecting another person to be here).

“Please don’t tell me he got lost again,” Joshua says, suddenly looking tired, and you look back at him wide-eyed because... again? Has this happened before?

“No,” you tell him. “No, I mean, I don’t think so. I don’t know. Since we both have to pick up supplies he thought it’d be cool if we met up in person.”

Joshua sighs, seemingly relieved, then continues packing what’s left of his supplies into his backpack as he hums. “That’s weird.”

“What is?”

He shrugs. “Soonyoung likes the outdoors, yeah, but the supply box is a pretty far hike from his tower. I think the last few summers he’s had them delivered.”

Oh, you think, and maybe say out loud, because then Joshua’s looking back at you, a mischievous smile on his face. 

“He must really like you to come all the way out here,” he tells you, and you laugh like it might get rid of all the thoughts popping up in your mind that you keep telling yourself to stop thinking about.

“And yet,” you say wistfully, looking towards the horizon. “I still come second to Jihoon.”

This time Joshua laughs, a friendly sound, and the two of you fall into a playful conversation. He’s somewhat a superior of yours, though not by a far gap - as the lookout who’s been on the job the longest, he oversees the rest of you (which is you, Soonyoung, Jihoon, and a few others you have yet to come across). You get along with him easily and it’s weird to think that if you hadn’t gone through what you did a few months ago you wouldn’t be here talking to him, establishing what could be a new friendship. You wonder if that’s a new step towards healing, finding a way to be grateful even if it was horrible.

You talk to Joshua for a while until he says he should get back to his tower. You nod, tell him goodbye (and thanks for his company) and he starts to walk away -

“Shua!”

A burst of platinum blonde hair rushes past you from the opposite direction you came from, heading for Joshua. The new guy drops a bag at his feet and almost softly crashes into Joshua, who has this look on his face you can’t really decipher.

“Hey, Soonyoung,” he says, and you blink.

Soonyoung, like… your Soonyoung? The Soonyoung you’ve been talking to for weeks?

You watch as the two hug, Soonyoung excited to see Joshua and completely ignoring you (though you’re not sure he’s doing it intentionally). All you can do is stand there. This is him, your brain keeps telling you. This is the guy.

“I haven’t seen you in forever!” Soonyoung exclaims, bouncing on the balls of his feet excitedly. “How are you? How have things been?”

Joshua shrugs, a small smile on his face as he puts a gentle hand on Soonyoung’s head and starts… petting. “I’ve been good, same old deal. I know that you’ve been doing good too, though, as far as I’ve seen from your reports.”

Soonyoung beams at the praise and you take note of it in the back of your mind (you also note the way Joshua’s treating him like a toddler and how it’s working). He opens his mouth to say something else but looks around and meets your eyes - for a second there’s nothing at all, but then you think you see an exclamation mark actually pop above his head.

The yell of your name is so loud it makes you jump. “Oh my God,” Soonyoung whines, falling to his knees dramatically. “I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you!”

“This is the first time you’ve seen me,” you say. You can’t seem to hold back your smile.

Joshua excuses himself (again) and finally moves on his way, says he’s in Thorofare lookout if anything happens. The sun is mellow on your skin as you look at Soonyoung, take him in - light hair, warm eyes, tan skin. His smile matches your own. A breeze shifts by, slow and sweet.

“Hi,” you say.

Soonyoung grins.

“Hey.”

-

So the bag you saw Soonyoung drop on the ground before was, in fact, for a picnic.

He didn’t bring a lot of food (the whole point of the hike was to get supply boxes anyways) aside from a few candy bars he’d saved for today. He did bring a blanket, however, and the two of you set everything up on the edge of a rock not too far away from the drop location, under some trees. It looks over a small ravine, a stream cutting through at the bottom. 

The time goes by like it was never there in the first place, spent talking and laughing. Soonyoung is just as animated in person as you thought he’d be, telling stories wildly as the two of you snack away a portion of your supplies. You know the two of you don’t have much time together, given how late it already was when Soonyoung arrived and both of your hikes back to your respective towers, but it’s still… refreshing, almost, to be with him like this, to finally get a piece of him you didn’t before. To hear him without the crackle of the radio and to see him.

To see him.

Something stirs in your chest when you look at him lying back on the blanket, arms supporting his head with his eyes closed. The sun lights up his skin in a golden glow, like honey, and the dark roots growing into his blonde hair are somehow endearing. The breath leaves your lungs when you finally label him as pretty. You hope you can blame the heat in your cheeks on the sun.

“I wish we could stay like this forever,” Soonyoung sighs, still not opening his eyes. You almost reach out to brush the hair away from his face, but a breeze comes by and does it for you. You hope it’s not a sign.

“It would be nice, huh,” you murmur in response. You finally break your gaze from Soonyoung and lean back on your hands, soaking up the feeling of the blue sky.

It’s now that you remember what Joshua had said earlier about Soonyoung usually getting his supplies delivered, and you turn back to him. “Hey, before you got to the supply box, Joshua and I were talking.” Soonyoung hums in acknowledgement. “Is the hike from your tower to here really that bad?”

His voice strains as he stretches, opening his eyes to look at you. “I mean, yeah, it’s a bitch of a hike to take sometimes. But it’s not really hard except for a few spots, just long.”

You furrow your brows. When you agreed to meet him, you didn’t think it’d be this much trouble for him. “And you came all this way so we could… what, sit here and eat? Like we do most of the time anyways? Just separately?”

Soonyoung pouts at you and you feel personally attacked. “Food tastes good when you’re with other people.”

You give him a soft, semi-playful glare, and Soonyoung offers a small giggle. You turn back towards the view in front of you.

“Did you not want me to come down?” He asks, and he doesn’t sound… sad, really, more observant. Like he wants to know where you’re at.

“No,” you answer almost immediately (Jesus, your brain says). “I just… it’s a long trip. It doesn’t really seem like it’s worth the effort.”

Like I’m worth the effort, you think to yourself. 

You hear Soonyoung shuffle behind you and turn around to look at him again, finding him sitting up straight. “It is to me,” he tells you, and there’s something in his eyes that holds you in your spot. The tips of his fingers brush against yours on the blanket. You’d look down if you didn’t think you’d miss something. “I wanted to.”

In a second, it clicks.

-

It’s not much longer until Soonyoung needs to start heading back. The two of you get your things together, and you help him pack up the picnic supplies he brought. When everything’s said and done and the two of you are back by the supply box, there’s a second of uncharacteristic quiet that falls over you.

“Let me know when you get back,” you say after a moment. Soonyoung grins.

“You’re worried about me!” he swoons, and you hit him on the shoulder playfully, but don’t deny it. It can be dangerous out there, and even if Soonyoung has been out here longer than you, anything can happen. 

“Just radio me, okay?”

Soonyoung smiles, something a little softer from before. He nods. “I will. You be safe too.”

You nod in return, taking a few steps back towards the trail that leads back to your tower. “Talk to you later, Hoshi.”

The last you see of him before you turn around is the grin on his face.

DAY THIRTY-FOUR.

It feels like forever since you’ve been here.

A window is open and welcomes a distant ambiance of the forest around you, trees and birds and animals. The journal you brought with you is open to the first page, but remains untouched - nothing on the pages. At least, not yet.

(The not yet you always tell yourself seems closer, this time, not so far away. Within reach, or at least within reason.)

Soonyoung had called in that the hike from yesterday had worn him out and he needed a nap. You had laughed fondly at how tired he sounded, told him to sleep well and that you’d be waiting for him. And you feel the words, right at your fingertips, the way the rest and wait to be written. Their presence is both terrifying and reassuring. 

You don’t think they’ll be able to bleed out correctly, not the way they used to since it’s been so long. But they’re there, in your mind, in your heart. 

You pick up the pen you got out, feel the weight of it as you click it a few times. You tap it on the desk once, twice, and then.

You take a deep breath and start to write.

DAY SIXTY-FOUR.

“Are you lookin’ at the fire?”

Your eyes leave the page of your book at Soonyoung’s voice crackling from the radio, looking around your cabin windows to see that, oh, there is a fire. You’d kind of forgotten that it’s… literally your job. At least there are multiple lookouts.

You fold the corner of the page you’re on as a makeshift bookmark before closing the book and setting it down on your bed as you stand to get your radio. You grab a can of soda from the mini-fridge you’ve started to utilize (as best you can, given it does a mediocre job at keeping things cool) before walking out onto the deck, sitting in one of the chairs you set up. “Now I am,” you tell Soonyoung as you adjust the chair so it faces the direction of the fire. You think you’re the closest lookout to it - which makes the fact that you didn’t notice it even worse - but not in any danger. The smoke paints the evening sky red-orange, washing over the purples and blues the sun used earlier as it set. “You’ve called it in?”

“Yeah, told Josh, who told the higher-ups,” Soonyoung responds, voice strangely… solemn? He sighs his next words. “They’ll probably send a crew in for suppression by morning.”

“Is there a reason you sound sad about putting a potentially dangerous forest fire out?” You tease, cracking open your soda and taking a sip. The carbonation feels good in your mouth, pops on your tongue.

“I’m not!” Soonyoung denies after some sputtering, and you laugh. “Just… ugh, looking at it - I’ve worked here every summer for the past, like, five years, and I’ve only ever seen two fires. Three, counting this one.” His voice gains a certain softness, like he’s lost in thought. “I don’t want the place to burn down or anything, but… don’t you think it’s kind of beautiful?”

It’s a little morally ambiguous, but as you look at the distant, licking flames you have to agree. In the dark, it’s vibrant, more than just ashy smoke and the smell of burning - it glows red, flushes out silhouettes of the trees in between it and you.

“I guess it is,” you hum into your radio as you stare at it.

“So. What should we name it?”

“The fire?”

“Yes,” Soonyoung says, dramatic as always. “She needs a name! I’ve always given them names, but I’ll let you do the honor this time.”

There’s something sweet in the way he offers you the chance to name it, and you try not to dwell on it too much. “Ah,” you start, thinking for a moment. “Barbara. The Barbara Fire.”

Soonyoung howls out a laugh and it’s infectious; you feel the tugging of your lips into a grin. “That is the worst thing that has ever come out of your mouth,” he says, and you roll your eyes. “We are not naming it the Barbara Fire.”

You huff out a fake whine. “Come on, it’s just Barb! She’s beautiful.”

“But deadly,” Soonyoung adds in a voice that sounds like it came straight out of a crime documentary. It makes you giggle, the two of you throwing around silly, stupid names.

“Okay, okay,” you say after a few minutes. “Then… hmm, the Hoshi Fire.”

There’s a long, long pause, and you hold down the button to your radio again. “Uh oh, is he broken?”

Soonyoung’s voice comes through, joking, but you sense a pinch of sincerity. “You want to name a raging forest fire after me… I feel like I shouldn’t be happy but I kind of am.”

You remember to push the button as you laugh, looking directly at the fire and shouting, “I hereby dub thee… the Hoshi Fire!” as loud as you can.

After the laughter dies down, for a second, there’s quiet - not awkward or for the sake of a bit, just quiet. Soonyoung’s not telling a story, you’re not giving witty comebacks. It’s just the two of you and the fire, alone in the forest.

It breaks eventually. Soft, gentle. “I’m glad you’re out here, you know,” Soonyoung says.

His words make you stiffen and relax all at once, and almost on instinct you look in the direction of his tower. You can’t really see the silhouette - the sun too far gone, taking the last of its light with it - but you know it’s there, can pinpoint exactly where it should be. You hope Soonyoung’s looking over at you, too.

And even if the reason you’re here in the first place is still a tender bruise to be pressed, you find yourself recovering a little more every day. “I am, too,” you respond. “I… I wish you were over here.”

It’s a roundabout way to say I miss you, but a part of you thinks neither of you are ready for something that explicit. You reach a hand out in the direction of Soonyoung’s tower, grasping at it like it might bring him to you. It’s not as if you can’t meet up with him again, but… between the distance and the fact that there’s an actual fire to keep your eye on, it certainly wouldn’t be easy. This is the closest you can get for now.

“I wish I was too,” Soonyoung says. You close your eyes to picture him, pretty smile and fond eyes. “We could hang out, like last time.”

“Without the radios,” you add. 

“We could, um… you know.”

His words make you giggle, and you feel a little lucky that you’re not holding down the button. Your heart is pounding in your chest, nervous but stable, secure, as you reply. A welcomed beat, even if startling.

“No, I don’t,” you tell him. Your soda sits forgotten, half-empty, on the floor of the deck by your feet. You don’t bother paying attention to the fire. “What could we do?”

Soonyoung groans and this time you laugh pushing the button so he can hear you, warm and affectionate. “Don’t tease me! You know what I’m talking about.”

You do. “What could we do, Soonyoung?”

There’s a pause, but you know he’s still there.

“Well,” he says eventually. “Let me tell you.”

DAY SEVENTY-SIX.

The fire’s gotten big.

You feel like you shouldn’t be surprised by it - it’s a wildfire, they’re not exactly easy to contain, but seeing it up close like this is vastly different from being in a city and barely even noticing the smoke. It is larger than life out here, consuming more and more of the forest each day. The last few days you’ve spent inside due to the low visibility (though it’s not as if you take a hike every day anyways). It makes you wonder if it’s safe to stay out here.

“...Hey,”  Soonyoung radios in. “I have a question for you.”

Rationally, you know whatever it is, it can’t be that serious. But your heart picks up pace anyways, beats a little harder as you pick up your radio to respond. “Look, it was Jihoon’s idea to use the fireworks, I promise neither of us knew it would start the fire.”

Soonyoung sputters out a laugh and you match him, feeling yourself calm down. “I’ll… I’ll ask Jihoon about that later, but - I really do have something to ask you.”

You lay down in your bed, unmade and messy. “Is it… bad?”

“I don’t think so,” Soonyoung responds. “Maybe?”

“Okay…” you say, timid. “Shoot.”

“When you first got here, I asked why you took the job,” he says, and you nod to yourself, remembering the first call you got from him. “You just… never really responded. I get it if it’s, like, a touchy subject, I don’t want to pressure you at all…”

“No,” you interrupt before you realize what you’re saying. You take a deep breath, Soonyoung waits. “No, it’s probably… it might be good to talk about it. I’ll tell you.”

He murmurs an okay, tells you to take your time and you do. It’s not like you’re scared to tell him - you’ve come to trust him, you know he won’t judge you for anything that happened or think any differently of you. You’re not even sure that’s why it’s hard for you to talk about - rather than any sort of outside force that might affect you, it’s more… more of a part of you that you felt you lost. It’s more coming to terms - even after these months - and going through the motions. It’s scary to talk about disconnection, especially from the one thing you loved (love?) more than anything.

“I… write,” is how you start, looking at the ceiling of your cabin as you speak. “Or wrote, maybe? I’m an author. I have a few books published. Writing is something I’ve loved since I was so young, it’s… a part of me, really. It’s special to me.

“When I finally got a manager and a publishing company and all that official stuff, I was so excited. It was like I was finally living my dream. I wrote my first book and got it published and it did really well, so my management asked me to do another, and I did. Then they asked for one after that, and I didn’t… it felt too soon, in a way. Rushed. But I guess I did it because I had to, because I figured this just came with being a writer and not everything is what you want it to be - and I didn’t want to risk losing what I had wanted almost my entire life.”

You take a moment to steady yourself, note the tremble of your fingers and take a few deep breaths. Soonyoung waits for you, patient and kind. “It went like that for a while, and I lost touch with writing. I stopped loving the only thing I knew how to love. I was so detached from it. A few months before I took this job my manager set up a press conference for me, and I… kind of… had a breakdown. At the conference. So I’m out here to run away for a second. Be away from it all.”

The quiet that follows doesn’t make you nervous, really, but you’re still waiting for a reply of any sort. Even if it’s the common oh or it’ll be okay that you got from distant friends and relatives who didn’t know what was really going on. But Soonyoung was patient with you, so you can be patient with him.

“Have you written since?” He asks after a minute, and your eyes flash over to the journal on your desk. One page has the familiar strokes and loops of your handwriting, written after you met Soonyoung in person.

“Only once,” you respond, truthful.

“When you start to write again… will you show me?”

And for some reason the question is so tender, filled to the brim with something you want to name. It makes tears spring to your eyes as you look out over the rising fire, trying not to let your voice shake too much as you reply.

(Maybe it’s because he said when and not if, maybe it’s because he didn’t tell you it’ll be okay, maybe it’s because it’s him and not someone else telling you the same thing.)

“Yeah,” you say, letting go of the button to sniff. “Yeah, I will. If you let me see one of your dances.”

You hear Soonyoung’s smile through the radio as he tells you it’s a deal.

DAY SEVENTY-EIGHT.

For the first time since you started working, someone who isn’t Soonyoung calls you through the radio (not counting the time you radioed Jihoon to make sure he was still alive, because you only saw him once and hadn’t heard from him since then). You hear the familiar click that tells you someone’s on the station, and you’re fully expecting Soonyoung’s voice to light up your cabin the way it always does. Instead, Joshua’s voice rings through.

“You there?” He asks after a comfortable call of your name, and you pick up your radio.

“Yeah, I’m here. It’s been a while,” you respond, and Joshua hums. “How’ve you been?”

“I’ve… been,” he tells you, which earns a small laugh. “Anyways, I called in to let you know that they’re having trouble controlling the fire -”

You take a look at the giant flume of smoke north of your tower, nodding to yourself. “I can see that.”

Joshua tells you to be quiet. You hear the friendly smile in his voice.

“There’ll be an evacuation team here within the next two days,” he says. “Maybe less, shouldn’t be more. They’re gonna get all the lookouts evacuated.”

Oh. Evacuation? That means… the city. Your apartment, back to your family and friends. You’d forgotten an entire world exists outside of the bubble you created for yourself.

“Okay,” you say slowly, still looking at the fire. “I assume you’ve told the other lookouts?”

“I’ve got a few more to call, but other than that, yeah, everyone’s covered. I told Soonyoung and Jihoon first,” Joshua tells you, and you blink at the fact that you didn’t even have to ask. “I’ll see you on the other side.”

“Yeah. Stay safe, Josh.”

You sit for a while after that, trying to cope with the feeling in your chest. You… you feel better about everything, about writing, for sure, but. But. It’s cut short, even if only by a little over a week. You haven’t even started packing anything up - so much of you is strewn around the cabin, in the field around your tower, in the trees of the forest you hiked through. You don’t think you’re ready to say goodbye to the place you’ve made your home and the people (person, your heart whispers) with it. 

The sun starts to set and the fire grows. You sit on your bed and look at the things you’ve made your own, a sunken, unfinished emotion spreading through you. Eventually it is Soonyoung’s voice that comes from your radio, low and humorous.

“The Hoshi Fire can’t be stopped…” he murmurs, and you laugh despite the loss you feel. 

“Please,” you groan into your radio after you’ve grabbed it. “We’re getting evacuated!”

Soonyoung giggles, something mischievous that makes your heart warm with slow appreciation. “I can’t believe it’s ending so soon,” you say, standing up to walk around aimlessly.

“Yeah, the summer went by super fast, huh?” Soonyoung replies. “I’m kind of excited, though. I’ve missed a proper dance studio.”

That’s… oh. 

A current of mild surprise rolls through you and you think you physically feel your jaw drop, just a little. That - that hurt. More than you want it to, more than you think it should - but it’s... fine. You’ve only known Soonyoung for a few months, it’s not like…

You realize you haven’t responded and open your mouth on purpose this time. “I wish we could share the sentiment, Hoshi,” you joke, hoping it doesn’t sound too stiff. 

If Soonyoung notices anything, he doesn’t say it. Only laughs, sweet and genuine. “I’m sure you’ll find something to yearn for just as I yearn for dance,” he says dramatically. You laugh, forced, because yeah, you will. Maybe you already have.

DAY EIGHTY.

Evacuation day.

Last day in your tower. Last day in the forest. Last day of the job you took to escape, to heal. It’s spent packing up the things you brought with you, throwing away everything else. Joshua said helicopters would be touching down at two points - Twin Peaks lookout and Mule Point lookout. Twin Peaks is Soonyoung’s tower, and if you planned it out right, you could probably get there and leave with him.

You tell yourself that the reason you can’t is because Mule Point is closer. Safer. They’re evacuating you for a reason.

“Hey.”

Speak of the devil, you think, grabbing your radio from its charging port. “Hi.”

“So,” Soonyoung says. For the first time since you’ve known him, he seems awkward. “Evacuation day.”

“Yessir…”

“What evacuation point are you hiking to?”

You pause, hesitate like you’re about to say something you shouldn’t. “Mule Point,” you manage to get out. “It’s closer,” you say after, your brain telling you to justify it, explain.

“What did the Hoshi Fire ever do to you?” Soonyoung huffs out through a laugh, and it sounds so unaffected that you feel that ache from before again. After a second, he adds, “so… this’ll be the last we talk. At least for a while.”

That realization hits you like a brick and the sting behind your eyes seems normal - regardless of whatever was built between you and Soonyoung or what lead you out here in the first place, it’s so sad that it’s ending. “Yeah,” you say quietly. Everything is packed, you just need to get hiking. “I, um. Is it cheesy to say thank you?”

“Maybe,” Soonyoung chuckles. “But it’ll also make me feel really good, so…”

You feel yourself calm down and let out your own small giggle. Maybe it was always meant to end this way, a little too soon, a little too sad. “Really… thanks, Soonyoung. I think it would’ve been worse for me if I got the silence I came out here for. I’m glad I had you to talk to.”

“Thank you, too,” Soonyoung says back. “I hope… you write again. I’ll talk to you later.”

The mention of it doesn’t hurt as much as it used to, and you feel the smallest of smiles on your lips. “Yeah. Later.”

The radio clicks off and that’s the last you hear from Soonyoung.

EPILOGUE.

It’s hard to come back.

From nature, from Soonyoung - everything, really. To go from trees and fires and talking every night back to car horns, busy sidewalks and your own apartment. It’s weird to wake up and not see the immediate shine of the sun through your windows. But you come back, slowly get used to the life you had before.

And you start writing.

Given - you get back in August only start writing again in October, but you write. Little by little, page after page. Maybe not every day, like you used to, but the words are back and they are eager to get out, leave their mark as your work. You stand up to your management (with Minghao’s support) and take control of your own writing schedule. The pressure from before leaves. Writing becomes special more than ever, returns as the one thing you never get truly tired of.

Minghao asks about the job, your summer. You tell him it was easy and peaceful, and that you’re thankful for the time. You mention the other lookouts. You mention Soonyoung. Only in passing, though. 

(Minghao definitely suspects something, but even if he asked, you wouldn’t tell him much.)

Sometimes you allow yourself to think of him - when you got back, you looked for a Soonyoung in the multiple dance studios in the city, but since you didn’t have a last name or any proper title, nothing came up. After that, you gave up, but he still shows up in your thoughts from time to time, bright blonde hair (the roots growing in) and glowing smile. It’s cold out, now, so you hope he isn’t getting sick and that he’s staying warm.

You’re reminded of just how cold it is when you have to brace the outside world to get your mail. There’s not even any wind, just an undeniable cold, and it makes your nose burn and eyes water as you walk the short trek to your mailbox. You find your slot and push your key in, unlocking it and gathering your mail. Most of it is junk, but you could have sworn something you ordered was supposed to come today -

“Excuse me?”

You turn your head to the voice and find a man walking towards you, his head turned down towards a small piece of paper. His voice sounds familiar, but you figure it must just be a neighbor you haven’t spoken to in a while. You turn your body to him, waiting for him to look up from the note so you can place a name on him. “Do you know where I can find an author…”

He looks up.

It’s Soonyoung.

He looks a little different - his hair is shorter, dyed black instead of the platinum you remember from last July. But it’s definitely him. The longer you stare at each other the wider his smile gets, and you stand, speechless. He’s looking at you like you’re the only thing in the world. Your heart starts to race, warms you up beneath your jacket.

“Found you,” Soonyoung grins. You can’t take your eyes off of him.

“Yeah,” you breathe. “You did.”

[bxmgyu]

Can I request txt having a short s/o like 160-155cm

txt reaction: having a short s/o

Yeonjun

would rest his hands on your shoulders a lot and walk behind you

i think yeonjun is a really protective person

and there are unique ways like that in which he’d be protective over you if you’re a shortie!!

whenever you have to reach for literally anything he won’t even let you try

even when you’re out in public and at the grocery store

you’ll be looking up at the isles and he’ll ask you what you want

and you’ll be like ummm ok i want that

and he’ll have one hand on your back as the other effortlessly reaches up to grab you what you wanted

comes up from behind you and wraps his arms around you and rests his head on top of yours

sometimes it messes up your hair and you get mad

which doesn’t help because he just thinks you’re cute as hell when you’re mad (over something trivial)

you’ll be cleaning when he does it to you and when he walks away you can practically feel your hair standing up

“yeonjun, what the hell?! how did you even do that???”

turns you completely around to face him and walks up close to you so his body is pressed against yours

he’s literally looking down at you and you’re having to tilt your head back to look up at him and he loves it

it’s hard for you to look angry when you’re looking up at him with big eyes. like holy shit you are cute

“do what, baby?”

yeah, that didn’t work

Soobin

he thinks you are TINY and he will NOT hesitate to say it

literally says you’re cute to your face ALL THE TIME even if it flusters him to say it he cannot help it

he just thinks you’re the cutest little thing that he has to take care of

even if you’re an outgoing and fierce person he still sees you as like. an angry little bunny lol

before you got to know each other really well, you commented on how big his hands were

and he was like “they’re not that big! look give me your hand.”

and when you held your hand up to his he realized you were TINY AF

he immediately burst into giggles and held your hand in his much to your embarrassment

“aaahhh you really are so tiny!” he covers his mouth with his other hand that’s not holding yours. “you’re so cute!!”

his ears turned red but he still kept going. “how tall are you? woa so small!”

yeah, it was always obvious as hell that he liked you lmao

LIVES for seeing you in his hoodies

at first he tried to be really subtle about it

he would offer his jackets and hoodies to you when it was cold

but eventually he literally just asked you to wear them and told you he thought you were cute in them

and when his eyes light up when he comes home to see you on the couch in his hoodie with sweater paws?

and he nearly tackles you in a hug and curls your body up so he can hold as much of you as possible?

how can you say no??????

Beomgyu

you know this little shit would tease you

when you first ask him if you can reach something for him he’s confused

but then when he realizes you can’t reach it he’s like OH MY GOD you’re SO SHORT

“obviously, i know that!”

“it’s cute,” he winks, gives you your mug, and walks away just like that

absolutely uses this against you

will store your favorite mugs on the top shelf on purpose

and not give them to you unless you give him a kiss first!!!!

however, he is the ONLY one allowed to call you short

if anyone ever makes fun of you for it...

well honestly they won’t even get that far before he interjects

speaking of which, whenever you’re upset, he babies you a little 🥺

i think he would do this regardless of how tall you are but... if you’re short, he might be more inclined to do it

aahhhh the way he’d pull you into his arms, your head resting against his chest as he shushed your cries

“who hurt my baby?”

even though you’re physically small or weaker than others, he still thinks you’re one of the strongest people he knows

Taehyun

he honestly finds it funny LMAOO

he knows he’s not the tallest of the group so it just takes him out that you’re EVEN shorter than him

doesn’t necessarily call you tiny or anything but he always notices things

like when you’re sitting in your chair and your feet don’t touch the ground

he laughs and tells you how cute you look doing that

which is honestly funny to you too because you were literally just sitting there not even thinking about it

so yea may not seem like it sometimes but.... he notices EVERYTHING.... homeboy is WHIPPED

when you wear pants that are too long for you, he notices that also

you can’t help but get a little embarrassed “yeah i know, it’s because i’m too short for them, this always happens...”

“no but i like how you roll them up. i think it’s cute, it’s your style.”

“...really?” You ask, because no one has ever really said that to you before

Walks up to you and brushes your hair behind your ears before kissing your forehead “really. It’s just another thing that makes you unique that I like about you.”

so even if he laughs at you, he also makes you feel good about yourself <3

Huening Kai

another one who won’t shut UP about how cute you are

will pinch your cheeks and go “aaaahhh my baby is so cute!!”

you know he thinks you’re being cute whne the pet names come out, because he’s usually too embarrassed or just doesn’t think to say them

would get too excited and overwhelmed by your cuteness and pinch your cheeks TOO hard

“hyuka— that’s starting to hurt—“

BOY does he panic

“ahhh oh no I’m sorry!!” he holds your face in his hands and starts caressing your cheeks with his thumbs instead

he’s still grinning wide and leans in to give a small peck to your nose

also loves when you wear his hoodies except he gives them to you from the start

even if they’re not necessarily big on you, he just loves the feeling of your tiny self wearing something that’s his

likes to hug you from behind like yeonjun, except he rests his head on your shoulder

and if you’re not in public, or when nobody’s looking,,, he’ll peck your cheek REALLY QUICK

but that’s all he can manage before he turns as red as a tomato

even though you’re shorter than him, he still uses your shoulder to hide his face in

for as much as he boasts about how much taller he is than you, he’s still shy as hell about it lol