#but I will try to go to Alaska before season six

[geek-fashionista]

Me: Alright you chuckleheads, this may be a pleasure trip but give me some locations so I can get research done too.

Sebastian: If it’s not too much trouble, Leavenworth?

Dimitri: You’re already going to UW, so the Woodmark Hotel for next season’s finale?

Luna: Newcastle Beach Park for the Season 3 opener!

Jasmine: The Dennys across from the airport for Season 4.

Duke: Alaska.

Me: That’s not within the state of Washington, Duke.

[bethanysnow]

Golden Hour: a SKZ thanksgiving~

Writers Notes:

As I get back into K-pop and South Korean Culture. The fandoms of K-pop, and Stray Kids. I am reminded of my first holiday season having moved from Alaska. Coming from a big family it felt like the house was too empty, that I couldn't turn the tv loud enough to replace the people that weren't there. Everyone has had that at some point. A holiday, a birthday, or some event where you just wished that person or those people were there for. Even as good as that event or holiday turned out to be. You still saw an empty chair and thought it would be filled. So I write this because of that feeling. I have friends now as an adult all over the world and it's hard to convey that specific brand of isolation.

I know Thanksgiving is a very U.S.-centric holiday. But go with me here lol. I promise it's cute.

So to my fellow stays all across the world you make not only stray kids but also me, stay. So thank you. I may not speak to you directly, but if you are tagged below you have impacted me in your work, and blog, and it's been an honor to be in this space with you. I dedicate this work to you. I hope it doesn't suck!

@hyunsvngs @moonlightndaydreams @moonjxsung @ddyskz @queen-in-the-shadows @chansmanda @antoniorhinothethird @cbini @its-hannjisung @noellllslut @channieandhisgoonsquad @sweetracha @skzms @hyunjinfairy @7ndipity @forlix

Stray Kids ot8 X Platonic!Foreigner!Reader. (But honestly, it can be whatever you want ;) ) 2.7k wrds

"Vanilla! I fucking forgot Vanillia! God damnit!" Recircling it on the very long list that had been trailing behind her through the week. It was days before Thanksgiving and it was not only a herculean task to try and buy cranberry sauce in Korean, but also to find a whole turkey from meet markets and buchers who of course looked at y/n like she was insane.

It was only because Seungmin and Minho teased y/n about just how festive she was getting for the holidays she had to open her big mouth. You just had to, didn't you? Of course! Y/n was gonna show them just how amazing the holidays could be, starting with the third week of November. If she had to pull a full Martha Stewart out of her ass to prove her point she would, Y/n was already too deep into it now.

That is how she found herself in the middle of a grocery store on the outer edges of Seoul trying to buy potatoes and cursing about Vanilla. Y/n thought back on how she got into this mess while continuing shopping.

Originally Y/n worked as a remote context translator for a couple video editors based out of South Korea. That of course turned into more and more Zoom meetings and a vacation to Seoul later she had moved and worked full-time with JYP and Stray Kids. Still as a context translator, but also now as an assistant to their manager whom she grew close with. He was the big brother/father figure one needed in a country you weren't from originally. The eight boys who followed her around like lost puppies also maybe had something to do with it maybe just maybe.

Getting out of the store with her now chosen ingredients it was time to hail back to the apartment and start the process that everyone dreaded most of all. Cleaning. It wasn't the obligatory floordrobe, or the collection of maybe two mugs too many on the coffee table; but left to ones own devices the apartment was...not great for hosting what will be the greatest dinner ever?? One would love to have the ~aesthetic~ apartment you see on Pinterest, but fuck even the Idols she worked for didn't have that. So why should she? Y/n's roommate of six months was out on a bussniess trip for the next week, so she got to fight the great pile of doom on her own.

Walking in the mix of preparation and desolation that greeted her would make Marie Kando tremble in fear. But she was determined! The kitchen was stacked with dishes so strategically one would call her a master of her craft- now this artform isn't one for the faint of heart, but art nonetheless. Putting down the new groceries away in the refrigerator and cabinets it was time to start.

"CUE THE CLEANING MONTAGE!" Y/n yelled as music filled the room. Pretending to be a tavern wench as she cleared the table and did the dishes or Cinderella waiting for a Hwang Prince Charming.

As the night wore on it was becoming increasingly obvious cleaning the entire apartment wasn't going to be an option tonight. Flopping on the couch looking at her phone Y/n scrolled through social media. Instagram, Tumblr, Twitter (Authors note: Fuck you Elon). She stopped and tossed the phone down onto the cushion beside her. Her shirt was wet, cold, still sudsy from doing the dishes that needed to be handwashed. Her knees hurt from getting under the table. Hands ached with the grip of a thousand suns it felt like.

All Y/n could hear though was the quiet. The dripping of the faucet, the cars outside, the heater kicking on. But like a ringing in her ears she just heard quiet. No laughter, no joy or drinks being spilt over stories that don't see the light of day. The air was heavy and thick cold enough to cause goosebumps up her arms. Y/n had moved away from everything she knew on the hope that she would find her place in the world. That she would find her people. Maybe she had, but in the moment she exhaled all that was left was a tired body. It was for thanksgiving, it was for people she now considered friends to come over and have a good time. The emptiness in stagnation though diligently reminded her of why they were her friends in the first place. There was no support group here like back at home. She didn't have to think twice about connotation or what someone meant when they said something because they all spoke the same language at home. Found similar things funny. Understood implications of words and meanings. That was all gone. Working twice if not three times as hard just to get a foot in the door Y/n was faced with the reality and consequence of her decision. She didn't regret it. Or at least at the moment, she didn't. The gnawing in her chest would subside one day and she would find friends, family. People to kiss under the golden hour sun and dance in the kitchen as things baked in the oven. To sneak around roommates and hold hands under the table at a restaurant. She would find them, like a mantra she chanted this over and over while moving to Korea and now she sat on her couch. Looking off into the middle distance her brain coaxing her to the scenarios where she wouldn't find them. Didn't take that step. Didn't say hi.

Yet she was swimming in silence meant to choke her. Drown her hope.

It wasn't enough to be lonely.

it wasn't enough to not understand.

It was in moments like these did she allow tears to reach her eyes and fall.

Over her cheeks, down her jaw, her neck. Just silently spill into empty glasses that never could be filled in the first place.

Her heart was wretched and blue it needed a fire to stay warm and she was almost there.

She looked around the apartment and could almost see Changbin and Seungmin yell at one another about cards, or Hyunjin silently judging her decorations, Chan trying to help but being told not to, and Felix talking about the pie she made. Just like a picture book, it was so close and she blinked and it was the empty room again. Sinking her fantasy into the sea.

...soon

............its soon

~~~~

The days leading up to the fateful Thursday were one of a lot of shopping, decorating, and cooking. Lots of cooking.

Proving the bread to make the rolls, blind baking the pie crust, hell even making the pie crust to then blind bake it. Mixing stuffing to set overnight, potatoes to peel and mash, cranberries to turn into a sauce, a turkey to baste and season and cook, Arms deep in a bird stuffing it with stuffing.

And yes the fisting jokes abound.

The group chat that was made kept the phone buzzing its way off the counter with the fervency in which some of the boys texted.

Jinnie: What should I wear?

Wolf boy: Do we need to bring anything?

Cat: I googled Thanksgiving and...do you really make hand turkey art?

It made Y/n giggle seeing how excited the boys were getting. This was what she needed after the work put in.

Y/n: Wear whatever you want, be comfortable, but Idk..like nice comfortable? Stuff you wouldn't mind photos being taken in? No don't bring anything, and yes we did as kids.

Bin: ...So no girl group outfit? lol

Y/n: No no you could if you wanted to, but that's between you and Stay lol.

Wolf boy: You sure we don't need to bring anything? I can pick something up on the way.

Minnie: Oy, grandpa she said not to~ ;P

Wolf boy:

Y/n: I cannot wait to see you thursday. Don't kill each other before then. Or else no one is gonna eat the food.

~~~~

The day had arrived. At least the dress rehearsal had. The day before it was no holds bars, if it wasn't going to be done that day it wasn't going to be done. Waking up at 6 am Y/n padded out to the kitchen. Making coffee and something to eat it was the waiting before the rush. The inhale of the orchestra before placing their bow on the strings, the grabbing of a mic and feeling it in your hand, the stare into the crowd before going on stage.

The 'hold your breath and jump.'

And the race was on!

Dishes from the cabinet were taken out, the nice dishes, the ones Y/n picked up thinking her social life would be fuller than it was. Yes those dishes. Beautiful and shined like the inside of a clamshell, pearl dust and fairy tears was what the label read originally. Some rich people shit as far as she was concerned, she just liked it being pretty.

The table was set with a red tablecloth, and leaves from maybe the tree outside her apartment, (they were yellow and red, and who really would have noticed?). Crystal glasses, and tapered candles waiting to be lit. Pine cones and wreath garlands shrugged against window sills and folded oh so strategically a brass-coloured throw blanket on the couch to cover a night of drinking.

The food slowly grew from one side of the counter to taking up the entire kitchen. Even having to borrow a table from her roommate to set everything out. Drinks, games to play. The oven heated up the apartment till Y/n had to take off her hoodie and reminisce that maybe this was what it was like to put coal into a train engine. Warm light from the stove swallowed the apartment in an amber-golden glow. Sitting on the kitchen linoleum her head fell back against the cabinet under the countertop. A smile gracing her features. She could hear the timer tick by, feel the heat from the stove, she could look up to the counter top and see dishes filled with food and it was all for tomorrow. For a good day. To have a good day. It will be worth it. She was sure.

By the time Y/n had decided to fold the fabric napkins it was past 1 in the morning. Her phone lit up with a notification, and she swiped her pin to see it was a text from Chris.

"Hi"

"Hey Chan, whatsup?"

"Nothin, working on music. You uh sure you don't want me to bring anything?"

*sends a photo of the buffet that has been created* "That your answer?"

.....

..........

"You did all that for us?"

"Well yea, I want you to have a good time."

"Y/n-"

"Yes Chan?"

"Thank you. I cannot wait to see you tomorrow. Thank you for doing this, I know you've been homesick. So I am looking forward to it!"

"Me too"

turning the screen black Y/n sat back against the chair and looked at the now decidedly more festive apartment. It was like a hallmark movie threw up and she wouldn't change a thing about it.

~~~~

The morning had come. Unlike Christmas or a birthday, this was about family and gathering around a table and honoring those around us. That is what it was supposed to be at least.

Taking the most deep everything shower one can achieve Y/n had it down almost to a science. Lathering body washes, scrubs, hair masks, everything! To hope she could look maybe half as good compared to who was going to walk into her place in a couple hours.

Slipping into a green dress, she put on an apron. Putting the last rolls into the oven wiping down countertops and doing last touches.

She had a hour before all hell would break loose and eight of the most talented men in their generation would be walking in through her front door. It made her nervous.

Not nervous bad, but nervous. First time she had people over to her apartment, first-time friends, but also she did work for them technically. It wasn't lost on Y/n just how amazing this situation was.

How many people would kill to have these opportunities in life. Sure things hurt, and sucked sometimes, but looking around she knew she was grateful and that's what mattered. Till the stove timer went off snapping her back to what needed to be done. Rolls out, covering them with a kitchen towel, running into the bedroom to slap on some makeup and finish her hair. It was just as she put down the last thing did the doorbell go off.

~~~

The group walked in with confidence like they owned the building but Y/n would expect nothing less. All in sweaters and hoodies, sweatpants and big hugs for the host. Standing next to the door Y/n was crushed with biceps only the kpop industry could produce. Holding her tight she kept each boy embraced till they were the first to let go. With Han, Felix, and Chan that could last the entire night though.

"This is your apartment?"

"LOOK AT THE FOOD!"

"You made bread???!"

"Do we eat now??"

"Oy! Y/n you decorated for us? Why?"

*insert Minho elbowing them*

"Its really nice!"

Her apartment was now filled with laughter. Han finding a guitar of course needed to waltz through and serenade anyone who would listen. Chris and Changbin fussing with the tv to get karaoke set up. Hyunjin indeed was judging the decorations but with the artistic eye of admiration in reality. Felix and Seugmin hovered over the food talking about it, pouring drinks. Leeknow sat on the couch scrolling on his phone ultimately being more moral support for the boys at the television. IN staying close to Y/n watching the groups chaos ensue.

It was what she needed.

What she had been missing.

Family.

"Okay everyone, dinner is served!" Taking the turkey out of the oven and the foil off the tops of serving plates "Chan would you do the honors?" Offering to have him place the turkey out on the serving table. His smile reached his eyes as his chest puffed up with pride calling the boys to have a seat. One by one they piled food on their plates high, filling their glasses full, and sitting down at the table antsy so excited to eat with everyone there. For they too felt the separation of the two apartments, they didn't get to have homecooked meals or someone to plan something this nice. But Y/n did. She saw how they ate from food delivery containers, vending machines, and out of each others plates. Her heart ached as did theirs and so tonight, today, would be spent healing that pain.

Chan cut the turkey, Minho continued to smack people's asses because he could, Changbin got up and did a girl group dance playing the song on his phone. People laughed till they cried. Pie was served and everyone commented at how much cool whip was on Felix's because "That's how you're supposed to eat it!"

The sun was setting casting the apartment in that golden hour hue. Where Y/n had normally kept busy, ignoring the pit in her stomach of another day gone by alone. She got to sit back and watch her friends, her new family enjoy time together. Eat a meal that they didn't have to stress about. The golden light filled Y/ns chest with warmth and the fuzziness of blankets at a sleep over, the stuffed animal won at a claw machine, the bed of home after being away. Time had passed, and she could let go of the pain that held her back if these boys were the ones to catch her.

And they would. Time and time again they would catch her. All she needed to do was jump. So while Han sang a disney princess song, and Seungmin and Minho admit defeat that maybe the holidays aren't as bad after all, or even Chan stopped the ever-present work load to be in the moment; Y/n finally had it. What she had been wanting all along. She found her place in the world.

In with these boys, in the laughter, in the pain of loneliness, she had found it.

Uno rounds, songs sung, pillows thrown, food ate, it was truly a Golden StrayKids Thanksgiving after all.

Where no one can be forgotten.

~~~

La fin.

[briamichellewrites]

15

Bria had the idea of walking across the country. It would take her about six months, more or less. Brad asked her why the hell she wanted to do that. It just seemed like a fun thing to do. She could meet new people and get out of her privileged bubble of Los Angeles. If she started in March, she could be in Maine sometime in September, making her miss the winter season. He thought she was crazy but knowing her, she would do it regardless if he wanted her to or not.

What if she did it for a cause, like bringing attention to the homeless? He could see her doing that. The only way he would let her go was if she got a cell phone and she checked in with him once a day, whether it was by text message or phone call. That way he would know she was okay and still alive.

She agreed to that. Mike asked her if she was crazy! Possibly. The band laughed. Walking across the country was an insane plan! She would have to be ready to be homeless because she might not be able to find accommodation. That meant sleeping outside and not always being able to shower or use the bathroom. She was okay with that, as she wasn’t one to hate getting dirty. She was only fifteen.

“I know. I just think that I have a privileged life and that I need to get out of my bubble. I need to see more than just LA and meet people who don’t have personal assistants or private planes. People who work two jobs just to make ends meet or people who go to the bar every Saturday night and sing sucky karaoke songs. Like Into the Wild, except without dying from poisonous berries in the middle of nowhere Alaska. If you spend too much time in LA, you go bat shit fucking crazy.”

Yeah, that was true. Phoenix had faith she could do it, as long as she had the right equipment. She would detail her experience in a journal that she could then publish into a book. Brad pulled up a map of the United States on the laptop and printed it off. He then brought it over with a pen. The seven of them looked at the map together.

California to Maine was a distance of three thousand, one hundred fifteen point six miles. She would go through Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado, Kansas, Missouri, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, Michigan, Ontario, Canada; Quebec, Canada; and then, Maine. That meant she would have to get a passport to enter Canada. She could do that, along with hiking equipment and a cell phone. It would take her about a month to prepare before she could start her journey.

She would then fly back to LA from Maine. After she had some authentic Maine seafood and a good night’s sleep at a hotel. They still thought she was crazy, but at least she wasn’t diving in headfirst without a plan. George agreed she was crazy but he also had no doubt she could do it. He was so confident that he would help finance her trip.

As long as she sent him a postcard whenever she could. She promised to do that. Thank you. He hugged her. Where in Maine was she thinking of ending up? Probably Portland, since it was a major city with an airport. She was going to try to not use hotels during her journey because she wanted to know what it was like to be homeless. What time of the year was she thinking of leaving? She was thinking about leaving in March. That way, she would be home before winter. That was her plan, anyway.

She was prepared for delays because of weather conditions or other unexpected issues. What she was most excited about was just meeting people and seeing how they lived. Maybe she would help out for a few days or a week in exchange for housing and food before heading off again. George knew what it was like to grow up privileged. That was why he helped out people who had less than him.

Brad had done a great job teaching her about how much she had and how not everyone was as lucky as she was. She could have whatever she wanted. Instead, she didn’t ask for anything. He was from a middle-class family and had worked hard for what he had by working at fast food restaurants and doing whatever odd acting job he could take. It paid off as he was taken seriously as an actor and was able to grow his career through the nineties.

March was in eleven months, so she had plenty of time to prepare. Stephanie would be a little over a year by then. If she left in June, she would be in Maine by the new year. She would have to pack for summer, fall, and winter. After the three of them laid out a plan, they talked about everything she would need. Brad would take her to the local REI to purchase everything she needed the following day.

“Bria, you are fucking insane! Do you know that”, Phoenix asked her.

“I would hope so! You have to be insane to do this!”

“She’s got a point”, Rob said.

He had to agree with him on that. She was insane! But, she was not someone to back down from anything easily. Her daughter would be taken care of by Brad. Being away from her was going to be hard because she would miss her but she would see her when she returned. It was going to be an incredible once-in-a-lifetime experience. They would be anxious for updates on how she was doing.

Other people had done it and she was going to be one of them. She thought about Forrest Gump and how he ran across the country. He wasn’t alone, though as he picked up people along the way. That was fiction, this was real. She and her father were getting her ready to leave. They went to REI and bought her the necessary equipment and supplies. The salesman helping them was interested in hearing about her plan to walk across the country.

She explained why she was doing it. He thought it was a noble act and wished her luck. Thank you. Everything cost hundreds of dollars but it was worth every penny. She even bought a compass, which she had to learn how to use, a battery-charged phone charger, and a forty-eight pack of AA batteries. While packing everything into her backpack, she thought about bringing a pair of tennis shoes.

Just in case. She got her good pair and packed them in with her new hiking boots. Stephanie watched her from her walker that her papa had bought her. It had different toys attached that she liked playing with. Her little legs were learning how to move around the floor. She was curious about what her mommy and papa were doing. Bria said hello to her, making her smile. Hi, Mommy! After having an afternoon nap, she was happy as a baby could be.

Her diaper had been changed and she wasn’t yet ready for dinner. Bria continued packing everything into her backpack. It was a lot but she needed to be prepared for anything and everything, including rain storms, cold days, hot days, cold nights, bugs, tornadoes, and everything in between. Brad hugged his daughter. Was he scared? Yeah, he was. He was scared of something happening to her.

But he also knew that he had to let her go. They would miss her. He just hoped she would be home before Stephanie’s first birthday. She was leaving in a week, so he had to get himself ready for that. For now, he bent down to his granddaughter’s level. She smiled at him and kicked her feet. Papa. Her papa. He said hello to her. She was just the cutest and happiest baby he ever met. Stephanie babbled in agreement, making him laugh.

April 2002. My name is Bria Angel Pitt. I am fifteen years old and in a week, I will be walking across the country from Los Angeles to Portland, Maine. I will be using this journal to document my experiences.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon @fiickle-nia @boricuacherry-blog

[duckletranslations]

Ariadne Ch 5 - Labyrinth of Questions 4

Season: Fall

HiMERU: The route that Amagi had not left a mark on… is this way.

—Hm. It looks like it will probably be worth it.

Take a look. In the middle of this open space lies the Golden Treasure Chest.

Niki: Oh, oh! That's a Golden Treasure Chest! It sure is shinier than I thought!

I’ll go ahead right now and win a deluxe prize!

Kohaku: Hold up. It might be a trap so if you get close too soon—

Niki: Euuuak!? A b-b-bunch of snakes are all coming out at my feet! Who did it, who let out all these snakes in a place like this?

Kohaku: What did I tell ya. It’s dangerous so why dontcha come back ‘ere, Niki-han?

Niki: Oh, no. No, Kohaku-chan. These snakes aren’t even vipers, so you think if we twist their necks we can eat ‘em? I say we kill two birds with one stone, getting rid of our snake and food problem.

Really, shouldn’t I be thanking the one who designed this labyrinth~? They even prepared supply points for us!

Kohaku: Uhh, what’s that mean?

Rinne: Gyahaha, he’s different from the guy who took off to Alaska to find food. I think if ya wander around the outskirts of the world for a while, the world’s food shortage problem can be solved?

Oi~ Mr. Producer Director, y’ saw that right? Just a suggestion, how do you feel about sendin’ this guy up there naked!

I think that would get a lot more deals than any program we can shoot in this country ♪

Niki: No. I’d like it if you wouldn’t arrange that without consulting me first! It seems like it would be fun in its own way, but I don’t wanna go hungry!

Kohaku: However. Even if we’re in the labyrinth like this, I reckon we won’t be gettin’ any deals at all.

We participants are kinda deadpan, so no matter what goes down, we’re not gonna have much of a reaction. It’d be nice if the “Golden Treasure Chest” challenge were fun at least.

Ibara: Oh, my my. Finally, it looks like you’ve escaped the first loop, gentlemen of Crazy:B!

There was so little movement happening that I was getting bored behind the monitor. By racking your brains, you have finally reached the Golden Treasure Chest!

HiMERU: You say you were bored? Showing the viewers an edited video later will do the job. But like you, Vice President, HiMERU was bored as well.

Having us go round and round in the same place, rather than a variety program it felt like exploring ruins?

Ibara: Fufufu. Although exploring unknown lands abroad is also interesting from a variety perspective.

In this day and age where compliance awareness is high, I’ve heard a lot of behind-the-scenes talk of many fine locations that don’t force talents to act.♪

Well, anyway. It seems dissatisfaction over this not-so-beautiful journey is accumulating, so I will now delicately explain.

The Golden Treasure Chest before your eyes is different from the regular “Red Treasure Chest,” only one person has the right to challenge the mission, the one who requested the prize it contains.

The prizes, as you might have guessed, were selected from a previous interview.

It would be much appreciated if you each remembered what you asked for.

And if you fail a mission, all members are set to receive a penalty!

How about that, with this, even you self-possessed Crazy:B members should have a little bit of the heart to try, right?

Kohaku: Hoh. For the sake of a prize, does one have to impose their will on a comrade? Does one choose their own desire, or the safety of their comrades.

Rinne: It’s the complete reverse, Kohaku-chan. Worker bees gotta risk bringing their grub back to their nests or lose it all. Obviously, we’re gonna bet on it!

That’s why the treasure chests’ good as ours!

Difficult mission! Challenger: Rinne Amagi

A game of dice left to the will of the heavens! Can you make the goddess of fate smile upon you and manifest 1 thrice!

Niki: 1 thrice… What’s that supposed to mean?

Kohaku: It’s the order of the numbers on the dice. It’s sayin’ roll three dice, and all of ‘em turn up “1”s.

Niki: If you say all “1s”..... So the probability of getting “1” is one out of six, right? And that has to come out three times in a row? That means the probability is….well I feel like it’s low!

HiMERU: To be specific, it is 1/6 cubed, which will be 1 out of 216.

Niki: In that case, if you throw the dice 100…no, 216 times, you’re saying it’ll happen just a single time!?

HiMERU: Strictly speaking, it may not even happen once. Although this goes against probability, the point stands that, to some extent, such an outcome is not bound to happen.

Honestly, if you attempt the challenge without any sort of preparation, HiMERU will inevitably face some penalty–even so Amagi, will you still try?

Rinne: You bet! If ya turn tail an’ run here, there’ll be no honor in victory! Even if the probability is super low, as long as it ain’t zero, a real man’ll take the challenge!

Ibara: Hahaha, so you’ve decided!

There is a drawer on the table where the treasure chest is placed, please use the dice contained inside. To ensure there is no cheating, do so in front of the camera installed on the wall.

Whether you cry or laugh, there is only one chance at the challenge! Display them conservatively and boldly, that is, those skills of yours!

Rinne: Okay, okay, finally we’re cookin’ with gas!

Seems I’ll be throwin’ the dice in this custom-made marble canister? Gyahaha, looks like I’mma have a blast testin’ my luck…☆

Niki: Umm… you’re kind of just raising the tension all on your own, but what kind of prize could it be that you want to get it so bad, Rinne-kun…?

The difficulty of the challenge surely has to be based on the quality of the prize. The fact that such a difficult challenge came out means—

Rinne: Sure. Well, it’s always better to dream big, yanno?

The thing I want, it’s ten million L$!

Niki: Ten, Ten millioooooon!?

[endlich-allein]

Once again, @iinchicore was very kindly to translate an article for me. This is the interview with Till and Joey in MetalHammer (January 2021). The boys tell about their journey in the Amazon and their future projects together.

A big thank you, lots of kisses and a big hug to @iinchicore ♡

Till Lindemann & Joey Kelly : Friendship Without Limits

MetalHammer: How did the preparations for this journey differ in comparison to your Yukon trip?

Joey Kelly: We took along different equipment. While riding on the Yukon we used sturdy Canadian kayaks, which we couldn't find in Colombia. So we took along our own foldable 15 kilogramme kayak. Due to the climate, our choice of clothing was also different. Besides, the Amazon is much more dangerous than Alaska. There are many dangerous animals, small and big ones. You can find snakes, crocodiles and piranhas, which is why you shouldn't bathe in the river. You have to move differently on the Amazon than on the Yukon, where you only have to keep your distance to bears and elks. Amazonia is a jungle, where only those animals survive who eat the others.

Your first river journey led you to the Yukon, now you travelled on the Amazon. Was there a reason for why you picked that river exactly?

Till Lindemann: We were considering to travel along the Chinese Yangtze or the Lena in Russia, Siberia. Siberia was my favourite, but Joey convinced me to go to the Amazon. We have both been there before and knew a little about how to prepare and what to expect. One thing we knew right away was that, in regard to the nature and people, South America was much more exciting – Siberia looks similar to Alaska. That wouldn't have been all that interesting for our second book. Now the contrast is much greater: Alaska is austere and glum, the Amazon is the exact opposite with an entirely different wildlife and vegetation. Don't forget the wonderful colours of South America!

Any fascinating experiences of nature?

TL: It is really rare to spot an animal in the jungle. You can hear them everywhere, but they hide or are disguised very well. With the help of the local guides we observed snakes, birds, monkeys and a tapir. We saw pink dolphins and watched them do their jumps on the river. Because of their skin-like colour the locals believe they're incarnations of their dead loved ones and worship them.

How did the locals at the river react towards you?

TL: Reluctant, at first. You go to them and, for example, ask whether you can stay the night. They don't really talk much in the beginning, but after a night with a lot of Cachaca they warm up to you. Usually they were interested in our fishing gear. Most of them had never seen something like it, as they were used to fishing with rolled up strings and nets. I was amazed that every village we visited, no matter how remote the location, owned fridges with cold beer, they even had solar energy. Huge satellite dishes to watch football. For three days we visited one particular village. There was a storm, so they allowed us to stay. There was an older guy who had fallen off his stilt house, drunk, and broke his foot. Two young men went to the neighbouring village, a day's journey away, to get the shaman. The man should have belonged to a hospital, but that was entirely out of the question for him. It either heals on its own or it doesn't. We bandaged his foot and supplied him with pain meds. Then we continued drinking.

Did you plan beforehand what you wanted to see during your journey?

TL: Yes, a coca plantation. We knew that they existed there everywhere. At first, it was a lot of back and forth. They were staving us off, but after a lot of endless waiting and our patient agreeing to it, they allowed us to go. Along with two attendants from the village, we paddled down a branch of the Amazon that became narrower over time. A labyrinth of branches we would have never found our way out of. Eventually, we ended up at one of the countless plantations. It wasn't harvest time, however, so the leaves weren't ripe yet. But you could see all the tools for it: mashers, bags, and hundreds of bowls. And a little storage.

Did you try the coca leaves?

TL: Yes. We were on the plantation. They hid the plants below banana trees, so you couldn't see the plantation from the air. I did try a few coca leaves, but there is no sorcery about it. You just stay awake and feel energized. Everybody is chewing on them there, it's like coffee, just ten times stronger.

Did you reach your physical limits during this journey?

TL: The body adjusts to the climate pretty quickly. After three weeks you don't sweat all that much anymore. Even the sun doesn't bother you as much anymore, because you're thoroughly cooked anyway. But the humidity requires getting used to. The people there are handling it very differently. They own to pairs of shorts, two t-shirts and beach slippers, and they walk around like that all day.

JK: The climate there is exhausting, you're sweat-soaked after only three minutes. Personally, I don't mind it, but to people who aren't used to it it's a pain. The route we went on was quite difficult in parts, it was very serpentine. You had to paddle the whole time, you had to steer, then there were shoals or the water became too flat, so we had to relocate the boat.

You didn't capsize though, like it happened to you on the Yukon?

JK: No, the water level during that season was way too low. Later on, when the water comes in from the Andes during the monsoon season, the level rises by 15 metres. It drowns out entire forests.

TL: I was there once during the monsoon season. Back then only the tree tops were peeking out of the water. That's why they build their houses on stilts, so the water doesn't reach them. Many villages are located on mountain tops, as the water level won't rise that high.

Considering the many preparations and daily challenges, did you ever find time to relax during such an extensive journey?

TL: Travelling on the Yukon wasn't stressful, because we were sleeping on the sandbanks. Those experiences made travelling the Amazon even easier. As the sun goes down very early there, our only concern was to make camp before 6PM. Whenever we found a good location we sometimes made camp even earlier than that, instead of travelling on and risking not finding a good spot. That only happened to us once, so we had to sleep in the jungle, which wasn't all that bad either.

With a camp fire and night watch?

TL: A camp fire, yes, but we didn't need a night watch. You have to trust your guide, those guys know what they're doing. Our guide went ahead a couple of metres with a bit of string and, within a few minutes, came back with six piranhas. Then we turned on the grill and ate. Piranhas are really tasty, like giltheads.

Did you gain more respect for nature due to this journey?

TL: I had a great respect for nature before that already. Still, I couldn't hold myself back from taking pictures with snakes. I love snakes, Joey thinks they're scary. (laughs)

What did you learn along the way?

JK: I asked the Indians to teach me how to fish with a cast-net and pulled animals out of the water, which an aquarist would usually pay thousands of euros for. Scalars, discus fish, loricariids, sisorid catfish, catfish in all shapes and sizes.

Here in Europe we read a lot about the fact that these romantic times might be of the past soon, due to the systematic ecocide. Is that what you saw over there?

TL: When you approach Leticia you can make out the slash-and-burn methods used below. We assume that every minute jungle area the size of 1.5 football fields gets cleared, for soy plantations or pasture areas. The search for gold is also devastating for the nature. They use mercury to wash the gold out of rocks and clay. The mercury ends up in the rivers, in the fish, and then inside the people.

JK: The Amazon traverses through the entire continent. It is so broad and deep, there are even bigger ships cruising the river than on our rivers here in Europe. They carry natural resources, mainly wood. You can find a sawmill every couple of kilometres. They carry the tree trunks there and cut them along the length (4m by 1,20m or even 4m). Those planks then get transported either by ship or overland, a systematic deforestation of the Amazon area.

TL: You find a lot of filth in the main stream: huge tree trunks, garbage, bags full of plastic, and a lot of wood waste. It's illegal, but everybody does it. Very obviously, even during the day, nobody cares.

Are the locals not aware of the drastic situation?

JK: The sawmills pay the farmers 250 to 300 euros for one tree trunk. The sawmills sell it for 2.500 euros, and then here in Europe it costs up to 30.000 euros.

TL: As soon as they saw us, the lumbermen turned off their chainsaws and fled into the forest, yelling: “Piss off!” They were afraid that those pictures would be seen by the world. Same thing for the fisheries. Usually, the fish leave the lagoons during the dry season and swim back into the main stream, because the lakes dry out. The law allows it that they cast a net over half of the lake, so that a part of the fish can swim past. Now, the fishermen close off the entire lake, with up to ten nets. No fish can get past that anymore, only the very small ones. They're overexploiting the area high and low. They even steal all the turtle eggs from the clutches. It didn't used to be that way, back then they would leave half of it where it was.

Do you think that could change, if other types of income would replace the exploitation, like tourism?

JK: I don't think that the parts Till and I went to would be suitable for commercial tourism. Let's be honest, the biggest income is ensured by the coca production. You would travel right into a drug area. We could only move around freely there, because the government was taking care of the cartel conflicts at the time. Apparently, the military is now in charge of the coca trade.

TL: Corruption is the order of business. A policeman is earning less than a coca farmer. Thus, bribery and blackmail are commonplace. Almost all of it is illegal: fishing with the many nets, the gold-seeking, the wood clearing and the coca plantation. The areas are huge and hardly controllable. Since president Bolsonaro is in power in Brazil, the clearing business went up by 30 percent. Bolsonaro announced officially that the Amazon is a product, and that's how the people treat it. They expel the indigenous people and allocate them to surrogate areas, their land goes to the gold-seekers and their prospecting rights. The surrogate areas aren't of any use, however, so they don't live in villages anymore, but in small cities. That'll turn out to be very problematic in the future.

Was it a bizarre experience to you to live with indigenous people, even though it is said that there is no room for the white man?

JK: I've seen tourism in parts of the world where I'd have never expected it. An example would be the South Pole. Once I reached by goal there a plane landed, six tourists came out and paid several thousand dollars for a four to six hour long stay. I thought there was a lot less tourism at the Amazon than anywhere else. The only tourists who travel there are either extremely rich Americans or Russians who come in by helicopter, no matter how expensive the journey. As long as they were there once in their life, took a picture with an Indian and a monkey, then they fly back to Bogotá. All in all, you only meet natives here.

TL: You have to differentiate. There are also motor boats and Americans with sun hats on, sleeping in their loggias. But not in the area we were in. There were children there, who pulled at our pants and ran to our kayaks, because they had never seen anything like it. A canoe made of plastic! They only know boats made out of wood. The kids played with our fishing poles, the angling reels, and were amazed by our lures and wobblers. They had never seen something like that before. They only knew of the hooks, where you put a little meat on. There was a lot of curiosity.

Did the journey affect your friendship at all?

TL: Our friendship didn't get any better or worse, it's been a good friendship before. We want our travels to be periodic. Joey and I want to grant us this sort of time off every two, three years. We realized we're getting better at it. We drove down rapids. While travelling on the Yukon we would have peed our pants, but now we're capable of really daring manoeuvres among waves that are 1.5 metres high. You get well attuned over time, become more experienced with the daily routine, the luggage, moving around.

JK: That was one of the reasons why we planned out the next trip right after our Amazon journey. We paddled down the Rhine in August 2020. We decided to do this during the Corona pandemic, because like that we didn't have to travel through so many countries and still got to tell the entire river's history, which led us through Switzerland, Germany, Liechtenstein, Austria, France and the Netherlands.

Do these travels to the Yukon and Amazon satisfy your wish for solitude?

TL: Like we said, we already travelled along the Rhine. The Nile will be next. The Mekong river is also on our list, but with the goal to start at its origin. These journeys are really important to us. We might have published up to six books some time. We still have a couple of goals ahead of us: The Nile, maybe the Mississippi, one Russian river and the Mekong. Like that we would have visited a river in almost each part of the world.

Which seems to be a difficult goal to achieve, considering the current Corona pandemic...

JK: Sadly so. Because even if Germany will be cleared of the virus, that might not be the case for Tanzania, where the Nile originates, or in Egypt, where it ends. There are five countries in between, after all.

Symbolically, what did you take home from this journey?

TL: Humbleness! And gratefulness for what we have. At the same time, however, a sort of incomprehension for how we live here in Europe. With so much waste, lunacy and luxury. The people we met didn't really have anything. Property and wealth don't mean anything. The huts, the boats, tools, even the TV, it all belongs to everyone. You eat and drink together, and most of the work is done as a community. They say people are happier there. I won't be the judge as to whether that's true, but life there is simpler, more manageable, and thus people there live more modestly. In Germany people get up in the morning, rush to the office, are stuck in traffic, sit at the computer all day or manage machines, rush back home in the evening. In comparison, it's very relaxed at the Amazon. The people go to bed early, when they wake up they go fishing, hunt or raise manioc and corn. Life there is structured in a very simple way, it's been reduced to only the bare necessities.

What is the first image you see when you think of Amazonia?

JK: Looking back, I'm always thinking of this one boat ride very early in the morning. It was still foggy when we started paddling. To the left of us I can still barely see riverside, apart from that only fog, I can only see for two, three metres. We are on the Amazon without knowing what's ahead of us. It's quiet, there is no wind, the water is calm... That was a great experience.

[aethelflaedladyofmercia]

One Hundred Days - Good Omens Fic

Another fic for @bingokisses - Part 1 fills the prompt “Back of the Head kiss/Knees Brushing under the Table.” For once, just some nice easy fluff, little bit of anxiety, and happy ending (in part 2). Also available on AO3!

Part 1: The First Fifty Days

The first night at the South Downs cottage, Aziraphale cooked dinner while Crowley finished setting things up on the upper floor. It had been ages since he’d cooked anything that wasn’t a pastry, but pasta was simple enough, and salad, and…well, rather more dinner rolls than two beings needed, but he’d had more time than expected.

They ate and talked for hours, neither quite believing that they had done it, that they were in their place. Their home. Sometimes, Aziraphale would hold Crowley’s eyes a little too long and need to look away, waiting for his heart to settle down again.

He kept glancing around, unable to shake the feeling that something was wrong. That they were exposed, that someone was watching, that something was about to happen, though he couldn’t say what. But no – only the long wooden table, the stone fireplace, the steps leading upstairs, dark carpet on pale wood.

He shivered anyway.

“Alright, Angel?”

Breathe, Aziraphale told himself and took another sip of wine. All night, his feet and his knees had brushed Crowley’s under the table. It was daring, and thrilling, and more than a little terrifying.

“Perfectly fine, Crowley.” The bread rolls had gone cool hours ago, but Aziraphale reached for one anyway, tugging at it with his fingers. “I was wondering what…what you…planned to do? Once we’re all unpacked and such?”

They should have discussed it more. Wasn’t that what humans did? Spend weeks and months talking about what sort of home they want, what sort of life, dreaming of what moving in together will be like. Making sure their dreams matched up, their expectations.

They didn’t buy cottages – in the middle of a forest, no less, half a mile from the nearest village – without considering questions of…of hobbies, and use of space and…and living arrangements. They certainly didn’t take such a step without…defining their relationships.

Three weeks. Six thousand years and then some of dancing around certain emotions, certain thoughts, and somehow Aziraphale had thought three weeks was enough time to plan such a drastic change?

“The garden.” Crowley nodded towards the window, but the sun had gone down and all either of them could see was his reflection. “Plenty needs to be cleared out. Maybe lay a new path. And the planting – not a lot of options for fall blooms, but some of the best spring flowers should be planted now.”

“Where would you start?”

Crowley tapped his fingers on the table. “Have to see what that garden shop in the village has. Tulip bulbs for certain, they need time to settle in before the cold. Daffodils or geraniums. Scilla, crocus, maybe fritillaria. Snowdrops, I think.”

“That all sounds…” Aziraphale glanced at the potted plants in the windows and the corners, the remnants of Crowley’s flat. All were tall, lush, and unvaryingly green. “Sounds very colourful.”

“Thinking of experimenting.” Crowley shrugged. “It’s a challenge. They need different soils, different amounts of sunlight, different watering schedules. And you always have to be thinking about the next season, and the next.”

“Seems like a great deal of work.”

“Only if the flowers try to be disobedient brats.” Crowley shifted his fork around his empty plate. “Might get some more trees, too. S’a good time to plant saplings.”

“Oh,” Aziraphale smiled just a little. “Apple trees?”

“Well…maybe,” Crowley grudgingly admitted, with that particular frown that was also a sort of smile. “Pears, too.”

“It would be nice to have some fresh fruit next fall.”

“Nah. Takes years for the trees to be ready, maybe a decade.”

“Ah.” Aziraphale glanced out the window now himself, trying to remember what the garden looked like. They really should have spent more time preparing, studying, learning the ins and outs of this cottage. A few days of feverishly sketched plans over bottles of wine. Hardly anything at all. “Well. I suppose I’ll be buying my fruit from the market, then. A few trees might be nice, eventually, though. If you’re willing to put in the work.”

“Nmmmh.” Crowley arched his back until it popped. “Speaking of hard manual labor, I think it’s bedtime.”

Aziraphale’s head whipped back around. “What? What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Crowley pushed to his feet, “I’ve been moving two-stone boxes of books all day and we’re not even half done. You want to order me around again tomorrow, I need some sleep first.”

“Oh!” Aziraphale’s stomach turned to ice. His eyes flicked to the stairs, remembering how he’d rushed down them to start on dinner that afternoon. “Oh, I – I – I, you know, I still have to – to clean all the dishes and – and pots and pans – there’s so much to do…”

The tall, dark form rounded the table quicker than he expected, and Aziraphale tensed – but Crowley merely stepped behind his chair and gently kissed the back of his head. “Take your time, Aziraphale.”

“I…” He shredded the bread roll in his hands. “I…think you…you’ll regret saying that.”

“Never. I mean it.” One more kiss, quick pressure on the back of his head. “Take all the time you need.” He squeezed Aziraphale’s shoulder. “Good night, Angel.”

The stairs creaked under his feet as he went up without another word.

On the second night, Aziraphale served mushroom risotto. It wasn’t the only thing he’d cooked that day – he’d been secluded in the kitchen since before Crowley rose, trying every challenging recipe he could think of. The bins were filled with burnt croissants and raw beef and a baked Alaska that had gone horribly wrong.

“You planning to cook that much every day?” was all Crowley asked, as they settled back in their seats after dinner. “You could probably feed the whole village with all that.”

“Oh.” Aziraphale glanced guiltily at the kitchen. “I suppose…I mean, it certainly fills the time, doesn’t it?”

Crowley tossed his head, the way he did when he was thinking, and his growing hair swirled around him in a red cloud. “I mean, yes, I suppose it does. But. Is that what you want? To fill time?”

“I’m not sure what else there is to do,” Aziraphale said. “Not much of a theater scene out here, no museums, no restaurants, no customers.”

“Do you miss the city?” He asked it a little too fast, and Aziraphale’s stomach clenched with even more guilt.

“No, dear, of course not. I just…well, I’ve been there so long…I’ve rather forgotten what there is to do out in the country. But I know I must keep myself busy.”

“Only if you like.” Crowley turned his plate. “We should be done with the big items tomorrow. I’ll be able to start the garden and…just, do whatever makes you happy, alright?”

They continued for hours. They seemed to have run out of the excitement of yesterday’s conversation, and now alternated between awkward chatter and pauses so long, Aziraphale feared they’d run out of things to talk about and would remain silent forever.

Finally, Crowley stood. “Better get some sleep,” he said, stretching.

“Oh! Is it – is it really that late?” Aziraphale glanced at the clock in a panic. “Oh, drat, there was, you know, so much more I meant to do today.” Crowley started walking around the table. “I – I – I mean, as you said, I wasted quite a good deal of food, a few miracles ought to put it all back into its original state and – and perhaps I can donate—”

Crowley paused behind his chair, and kissed the back of his head. Aziraphale closed his eyes, trying to memorise it, the feel of Crowley’s lips and breath stirring his hair. They hadn’t really decided if their new partnership would involve kissing, or hand holding, or…other things of that nature. They’d done a few anxious experiments, made rather more assumptions and…never really articulated anything.

But this…Aziraphale thought he might like this.

“Good night, Angel.” A quick shoulder squeeze, and Crowley headed up, stairs creaking under every step.

 On the fifth night, Aziraphale stopped making excuses. It was starting to feel silly, as Crowley never acknowledged them anyway. When Crowley rose from the table, he simply said, “Pleasant dreams, my dear.”

“Always.” A quick kiss to the back of the head. “Good night, Angel.”

 By the tenth night, nearly everything had been unpacked and put into some semblance of order.

They’d spent two hours rearranging Aziraphale’s armchairs, carrying them up and down the stairs as he decided which would go in the study, which in the living room. When Aziraphale was satisfied, Crowley had gone outside, leaving him to rearrange his books in peace.

Aziraphale soon discovered that, with the window open, he could hear the sound of footsteps in the garden, of spade into earth, of a grumbling, threatening lecture delivered to each sapling before it was lowered into its new permanent spot. It was a comfortable sort of background noise, and Aziraphale smiled as he worked.

There was a second door on the upper floor, across the hall from his study. Aziraphale did his best not to glance at it all throughout the day.

After supper, they moved into the sitting room, Crowley sprawling on the sofa, Aziraphale comfortable in his favorite armchair. They talked, glanced at each other, smiled. Crowley played with his mobile phone while Aziraphale flipped idly through a book.

“How was the village?” Aziraphale wondered, since Crowley had finally made it out to the plant shop.

“S’alright. They’ve got a bakery you’d like. And the market.”

“Mmmm.” They’d visited a thousand villages and towns together through the years, yet somehow the thought of walking together through this one in particular made Aziraphale feel cold.

“Whenever you’re ready.”

He wasn’t sure when that might be.

They sat in silence for a little while longer. At least Aziraphale no longer worried it would last forever.

When the demon abruptly stood up, Aziraphale’s fingers only twitched a little, curling around the pages of his book. “Well, that’s it for me tonight.”

“Of course.” He stared fixedly at the page. “Have a good rest.”

“I will.” A kiss on top of the head, almost absent in its familiarity. “Good night, Angel.”

 On the twenty-third night, Aziraphale waited for the Good night, Angel, then grabbed Crowley’s hand, a little too fast, perhaps. Studied it. Crowley had been in the garden all day, and the dirt was still there in the beds of his nails, his hair probably thick with sweat. Aziraphale rolled Crowley’s hand over, studying the lines, the shapes of his fingers, the length of his palm.

Finally, he gave it a squeeze. “Good night, Crowley.”

Perhaps there was something more he should do. Kiss the knuckles. Brush them against his cheek. Something.

But it all seemed so…much.

Every night, then, he simply gave Crowley’s hand a squeeze, and received a smile in return.

The thirty-second night, they returned to the cottage late. The weather had been just right for a walk through the woods, which had turned into a walk to the village, followed by dinner at the little restaurant, and ultimately Aziraphale trading recipes with the chef over a glass of wine.

Crowley had waited patiently, almost-smiling, and they’d finally started the walk back under the stars.

“Did you have fun?” Crowley asked, walking beside him, one hand in his pocket, the other dangling between them. “The walk? The village?”

“I suppose.” Aziraphale conceded. “I must try this squash au vin recipe soon. And it is…rather pleasant out here.”

“Yeah?”

Aziraphale was suddenly very aware of the forest, the brilliant stars, and his proximity to Crowley. “Hmmm. But I’d like to get back and finish reading, if you don’t mind. Rather a lot of lost...reading time.”

“Yeah.” Crowley tucked his loose hand into his pocket.

Aziraphale didn’t read, though, when they returned. He held a book on his lap as they sipped wine, talking about places they’d visited through the years. Then Crowley mentioned that time they’d run into each other at a performance by Mozart – one bottle of wine turned into three – and a great deal of reminiscing ensued.

When, more than a little after midnight, Crowley finally stood to head upstairs, he paused to give Aziraphale’s forehead a clumsy kiss. “Night, Angel.”

Aziraphale gave his hand an easy squeeze, and they smiled at each other without restraint. “Good night, dear.”

 On the forty-eighth night, Aziraphale took Crowley’s hand and didn’t let go.

He wasn’t sure why. They had a rhythm now, a pattern, something sustainable.

Almost sustainable.

Aziraphale still never went upstairs after dark, still never looked at the door across from his study.

On some level, he knew what he needed to do.

They both waited, countless seconds, for the other to speak. But Aziraphale had lost his voice, and Crowley’s expression was as masked behind the glasses as it had been for many centuries.

The cottage was utterly silent, except for the ticking of the clock.

“Yes. Well.” Aziraphale swallowed. “Good night, dear.”

“Good night, Angel,” Crowley said for the second time, and Aziraphale finally relinquished his hand, heart racing.

But on the fiftieth night, fingers wrapped tightly around Crowley’s, on the fiftieth night, Aziraphale stood up, on the fiftieth night he let Crowley lead him up the stairs. He trailed slightly behind, hand clutching the bannister as they ascended, noticing how much heavier the creaks were under his own feet.

At the top of the stairs, Crowley turned right, away from the study, and pushed open the other door, the one Aziraphale could never quite bring himself to walk through, and—

The bedroom was just as they’d arranged it, fifty days before. Heavy red curtains, cream area rug over dark wood, bed in the center of one wall, an end table on either side.

The tartan pillow still lay at a skewed angle, exactly where Aziraphale had dropped it when the sudden panic took him, the sudden realisation of what they were doing, and it was all too much, too fast, and good lord, here he was again, what was he thinking?

Crowley led him to the left side of the bed, the side nearest the door, with black pillowcases and the down duvet slightly rumpled. Pulled his glasses off, and at the first sight of golden eyes, Aziraphale pulled back, eyes slamming shut, hand clenching, seizing up. Crowley snapped his fingers—

Then, for a long time, nothing happened.

Aziraphale finally, cautiously opened his eyes, to find Crowley in black pyjamas, watching him.

When Aziraphale nearly met his gaze, Crowley half-smiled, leaned forward, and kissed his cheek. “Good night, Angel.”

Crowley dropped his hand and climbed under the duvet.

But Aziraphale stood stock still. Now that he was here what was he supposed to do? Fifty days and nights, he should have had a plan but here he was, still just as afraid as the day they’d arrived.

Crowley’s voice, a little rough, with that curious burr in it: “S’alright, Aziraphale. Take your time.”

“But…But it’s already been…” He looked around the room, the one room they’d discussed all night in his bookshop, all the papers they needed to buy their cottage piled on the desk between them. The room they’d breathlessly planned, whispers escaping uncertain lips and bright red faces.

It certainly looked as though it had been planned by two drunken fools with no idea what to do with a cottage, the most atrociously mismatched combination of colours and styles.

But it was all here. The little shelf to hold his favorite books, the electric kettle for if he wanted tea in the night. The overstuffed rocking chairs by the largest window, overlooking the corner of the garden with the little duck pond. The planters lining the rest of the windows, filled with sweet-smelling herbs. The record player, Crowley’s awful music already organised in the stand below it while Aziraphale’s awaited him in a box nearby.

It was a jumble, a mess, it was everything that represented their life together.

And he wanted this life. He truly did. But it had all come too quickly, too suddenly, he wasn’t ready—

“Aziraphale.” Their eyes finally met. “Don’t worry. Take all the time you need.”

He hung his head, burning with shame. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be.” He could feel Crowley watching him, but didn’t dare look up. “I…I mean, look. There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

After several more breaths, Aziraphale gathered his courage, stepped forward, and pulled the duvet up to Crowley’s chin. Bent down, lips hovering just shy of Crowley’s forehead, his breath stirring crimson strands. “Good night, dear.” His courage broke, and he fled the room, pulling the door shut behind him.

“Good night, Angel,” muffled but still as gentle as ever.

--

Part 2 to be posted on Wednesday. If you enjoyed, please drop a comment on AO3!

[we-are-colleagues]

Villanelle - Character Analysis: Power & Growth:

Villanelle doesn’t kill without reason. 

This season has put a spotlight on her motivations, that can be traced back to S1. Villanelle kills for power and for Control. She’s not some Ted Bundy who kills to get her rocks off. It’s the power that she craves (and she gets off on). The changes we are seeing in Villanelle in the recent episodes are a product of this core drive and motivation being challenged. 

In S3, we hear Villanelle vocalise this connection. A lot. She names the scent she confronts Eve in "Power". She purses her family because she believes the knowledge – the truth – will make her more powerful. She agrees to work for the Twelve again because she is promised power.

The key to changes we are seeing unfold in Villanelle is due to them unpicking the driving force behind her actions. In her mind killing and violence has always granted her power and control. It’s a link her upbringing cemented in her and that The Twelve have fostered ever since.

The Evolution of Her Kills

The first kill we ever see on screen is bone-chilling (The Hairpin). She absolutely delights in the kill. It’s like she drains the life force out of him as he falls to his knees before her. She feels powerful watching him die.

But even in S2, her glee is diminished. I think immediately of the pig kill. Konstantin is distracting her in Amsterdam with this job. She’s killing for a scorned wife, hardly the world-changing targets she’s used to. She’s bored the whole episode and missing Eve. She has to dress the kill up to intrigue herself and to get Eve’s attention. To Konstantin, afterwards, she remarks, ‘It didn’t feel like anything’. That thrill from S1 is absent. She didn’t feel powerful killing this man and the experience pales incomparison to what Eve makes her feel.

In general, as of S2 there is no more looking into people’s eyes as she kills them. The last time she really felt the power she chases was when she killed Aaron Peel and it turned out Carolyn was using her. Then, of course, when she watched Eve kill Raymond, where she was the one controlling Eve and seemingly, getting everything she wanted.

The kills in S3 ramp up this contrast to S1. Her spice kill lacks her usual flamboyance, she’s more interested in posing the body and challenging Dasha than the kill. She wants to prove she’s better, more powerful. Her garden kill is almost merciful. She takes more joy in playing with the woman than killing her. 

Villanelle is motivated this season not so much by the power she feels from each kill, but the power promised to her by Dasha and The Twelve if she makes it to the rank of Keeper.

Her Relationship With Eve

This hardwired understanding is challenged when she attempting to kill Eve and their connection. Let’s dive into why she shot Eve, framed through this understanding of why Villanelle kills. 

Villanelle’s perception of love is also skewered around control. Villanelle tries to narrow Eve’s world and her options to just running away with her to Alaska. When Eve realises she’s been manipulated, Eve acknowledges how they are alike by chooses to walk away anyway.

Villanelle has just borne her soul to Eve, made herself vulnerable by telling Eve that she loves her and she’s shut down. Completely. As soon as that happens Villanelle feels like she’s lost control of this situation, of Eve, of herself and she shots. It purely an attempt to regain some control and power, as killing and violence have always been for her.

Villanelle believes Eve is dead and six months later she is talking about her on her wedding day. When she finds out Eve is alive, she can’t pretend that she was in control of their connection or had gotten over Eve. That is why she makes such a show of her power to Eve as if to say “it doesn’t matter that you didn’t die, I’m more powerful than ever now”. She dresses in a men’s suit, wears the perfume Power and invades Eve’s life on her commute to work. Even physically she takes control of Eve. But it doesn’t mean anything in the end. Eve has just as much if not more power than Villanelle in that scene. She has the power to give Villanelle what she really wants.

(Look I was gonna put a quote here from Sandra Oh about Villanelle being physically stronger than Eve in the bus scene but she still never hurting her. And that it demonstrates how Eve’s power over Villanelle’s psyche continues to grow. I can’t find it anywhere so like let me know if you know what I’m talking about. I swear it exists.)

UPDATE (edit): I found it.

"Villanelle at all times can physically overpower Eve, but what grows is Eve's influence on Villanelle's psyche. Which is like [Villanelle] won't, even though she can"  X

Villanelle entire relationship with Eve is a push and pull of power where Eve maintains her power without violence (aside from the stabbing in S1). In the bus scene, it is won through an act of affection, or omission that she feels similarly about Villanelle. 

Her Mother

What trying to kill Eve started, killing her mother finished.

Villanelle thinks killing her mother will give her control, give her power over herself.  Literally serve as a way to kill her demons. However, I think Jodie put it best in this interview:

“You can see the regret that she is already feeling but feels she has to go through with it — because I think she feels it’s the only way she feels she can fully kill her past and the woman that she was,” Comer says. “But actually in some ways, it’s like she kills Villanelle; it’s Oksana who is her true self and who she can’t get away from. So I think actually by doing what she has done, it has the complete opposite effect of what she was hoping for. For me now, at this point, I think Villanelle is her own worst enemy, and she’s coming to the realization that that may have been the case all along.” x

If we compare her killing Tatiana to say her first kill. The choice to not show her killing her mother cannot be ignored. It’s like even Villanelle doesn’t want to look at it:

“Villanelle has always looked into the eyes of those she’s killed, and in one draft the kill was actually [depicted], and I was like, ‘Maybe she can’t look at her; maybe she has to cover her mother’s face. This isn’t as easy as she thinks,'” Comer tells Variety. “I think Villanelle’s having a real identity crisis after the events of Episode 5.”

Villanelle doesn’t expect it to but killing her mother wounds her. Robs her of some of her power and makes her lose control.

S3 pulled off what could have been a disastrous dive into Villanelle’s past. You are encouraged to understand Villanelle was always like this. Probably would have always been. But we are also meant to see her mother’s influence, especially on her understanding of power and control and why she would be so fixation on obtaining it after being under her mother thumb.

We see Tatiana’s influence affecting her brothers lives as well. Pyotr stays there simply because he is told to. He has his own anger issues which he takes out on a couch. Pyotr attempts to control that side of himself, while Villanelle has always lent into it. She even suggests he just take it out on people instead, it will make him feel better. She doesn’t understand the need or benefit in controlling her own darkness.

In many of the scenes where Villanelle speaks to others about her mother, she mentions her mother’s covert and overt attempts to control all of them. Villanelle hopes that killing her mother might finally free her, give her back control. But in a echo of her advice to Pyotr taking it out on her mother doesn’t make her feel any better.

Dasha 

My assessment of Dasha’s role in this season has change from 3x01. She was quite impressive in the first ep. She looked dangerous, which she is, but having spent more time with her and seen how Villanelle easily copied her signature kill, how she messed up killing Niko and how she lost at bowling to Eve. It’s clear she’s a washed up has-been assassin. I think in a way she is meant to make Villanelle consider the future available to her in this kind of life.

Dasha is one of the few assassins that makes it to old age. Villanelle is too confident to consider she would die doing this job. That said, I don’t think she’s given much thought to her future, especially not one without Eve.

Dasha is our glimpse at it. A woman, who when she should be retired, rich, and happy is still playing this game. She can’t even return home. Whatever power Dasha wield doesn’t grant her what she wants. Her legacy and her status have earnt her little. She is still taking orders from the same people. This must surely motivate Villanelle’s ascent through the ranks of The Twelve. Villanelle is after power and Dasha is dwarfed by the likes of Hélène

��Keeper, but not a keeper

This brings us to 3x06. Villanelle is finally made a Keeper, the job description isn’t as lavish as she hoped. They offer her more money, more material possession but send her on the same old missions. Where is the power she was promised? It is here where she finally gets a whiff of how much The Twelve are truly controlling her.

I think this is why the Hairdresser kill goes so poorly. To kill this man is almost a forfeit of her power, to knowingly do it when she is being control. She knows she’s been fooled. It must be driving her crazy. Cause this is bullshit.  For the first time she feels like a pawn working for The Twelve rather than powerful.

She’s just killed her mother. She’s head deep in her childhood trauma, that is all centred around being used and controlled. This insult from The Twelve hits different. Killing no longer offers what she always sought from it. The strings are pulling loose on what makes Villanelle, Villanelle. Talk about an identity crisis.

It’s all quite raw, she’s changing before our eyes, I doubt we will see this weepy emotional Villanelle forever. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think this unlinking of power and control with killing suddenly make Villanelle a saint. Not a single part of her felt bad for the man she killed, she just didn’t want to do it.  

It might lead Villanelle to ask whether she has ever been in control of her own darkness. We talk so much about Eve letting go, perhaps, on the other side of that Villanelle needs to take control and realise she is her own worst enemy sometimes.

In the same episode, Villanelle falls apart we see Eve wield her own power and darkness without violence, even though we know she’s capable of it. We are watching Eve reach an equilibrium with her darkness while Villanelle is seesawing.

In summary, this season has reinforced and emphasised why Villanelle does what she does – for power and control - and then gone on to challenge her understanding of it completely. It’s given Villanelle room to grow and change.

I think it’s so interesting, if you can’t tell from reading this whole thing. I always thought the show would be too scared to change Villanelle so drastically, though some change is definitely necessary, especially for her and Eve to have anything stable. I thought the show relied too heavily on Villanelle pulling of a hit every episode to tamper with her drive to kill. But it’s delicious and opens up a world of possibility. This doesn’t mean we’ll get soft Villanelle anytime soon but maybe a more calculated Villanelle, whose interests better align with Eve’s. 

[flameraven]

Good Omens Fic Rec Masterpost - Part Two

 Hello hello I have read MANY MORE fics in this fandom now so it’s time to add on to my previous recs. Part One can be found here: https://flameraven.tumblr.com/post/187742832545/good-omens-fic-recs-masterpost General info! No fics rated higher than M, and that’s usually for violence not sex. I headcanon the husbands as being in an asexual relationship, so any fics I rec will have no sex, or only have sexy stuff alluded to or briefly mentioned.

The Soft Zone (TM)

all the days - G / darcylindbergh

War of Attrition- G / out_there / 8k - 3 gifts Crowley gives Aziraphale

A Meddling of Houseplants - T/ wingedspirit / 6k - Ophelia (a peace lily) is tired of Crowley and Aziraphale’s hopeless pining, and takes matters into her own leaves.

Sweetest in the Gale - T / wingedspirit / 3.8k - Gabriel can sense Aziraphale’s love for Crowley, and confronts “Aziraphale” about it before his execution

Deck the Halls - G / forthegreatergood / 18k - two idiots attempt to acquire mistletoe for the holidays in order to convey their feelings for the other.

Tartan Wrapping Paper - G / Arej / 2k - Crowley may not have quite gotten the message about the tartan all those years ago

a prize-winning philodendron - G / Elsajeni / <1k - Crowley does look, and sighs heavily. “Angel,” he says, “of all the plants you could have tried keeping, why did you start with something this fussy?”

Silver and Gold - G / asparkofgoodness / 1.5k - Crowley buys a ring.

Futile Devices - G / ticketybye / 3k - Yes, Crowley has imagined. He has craved. But being in Aziraphale’s close proximity has had to be enough. He’s not even sure he deserves that. But this, this feels like it felt to be commissioned the stars. It feels like being entrusted with something precious and fragile.

The Weight of Words Unspoken - G / rattatatosk / 1.8k - Aziraphale has always hinted to Crowley when he needed to leave. After the Apoca-wasn’t, he asks Crowley to stay.

J’Aime (I Love) - G / yourpaceangel - Crowley is searching for what the ‘J’ means.

the other way round - G / darcylindbergh / <1k - Aziraphale gets hair pets for once.

Take My Hand (Take My Whole Life Too) - G / soft_october / 1.5k - Crowley is trying not to go to fast, ends up stalled out completely. Aziraphale decides he will have to get creative. 

In Good Hands - G / Sunjinjo / 14k - Aziraphale was created wearing a golden ring. It’s now the last remaining aspect of his original attire.One day, he tries to take it off. The rest follows naturally. (Marriage Proposal)

One Golden Glance (Of What Should Be) - G / Sunjinjo / 8.5k - Crowley takes up painting after the Apocalypse.

Misfit / Safe Haven - G / Mothfluff / 2k - Aziraphale provides a safe space for the Soho queer community to gather

seasons, changes - G / the_pen_is_mightier / 2k - In the autumn Aziraphale and Crowley go out apple picking.

on the necessity of a temptation - M / darcylindbergh / 4.5k - Crowley squinted at him. He said, slowly, as if sounding around the words [...] “But doing things is what we do. Why would—what would be the point of me being here otherwise?”

In Other Words, Baby, Kiss Me - T / mikkimouse / 4.5k - Five times Aziraphale kissed Crowley and one time Crowley (finally) kissed him back.

It's Getting Hard, This Holding Back - T / ZehWulf / 13k - Crowley decides to lure Aziraphale into Explicit Gestures of Romantic Affection. Aziraphale sets a cuddle trap

give you more to hold on to - T / cryptidkidprem / 4k - Crowley nods. "It's..." He looks down at their joined hands, and takes a long, deep breath. “We’re not— We’re not supposed to need this, y’know?” He lifts their joined hands up, lets them fall again. “You and I. Angels, demons. We're not meant to need all this. This touchy-feely stuff, all this affection, this—” a hitch in his breath— “Love.”

two parallel lines -lineffability

don’t let me wake up - acuteangleaziraphale

how to let go - jlmarch

Mornington Crescent -politeanarcy

Wingfic

Symmetry in Favor - G / kedreeva / 8k - Five times Crowley preens Aziraphale's wings, and one time Aziraphale preens Crowley's.

London Calling - G / forthegreatergood / 30k - Come for Crowley’s ridiculous 1970′s bed, stay for Feelings and extensive wing pets.

Hurt/Comfort

Be Ye Therefore Merciful - T / AmberDiceless / 9.5k - Book!Verse. Crowley does something utterly unexpected, and Aziraphale must face an opponent who cannot be thwarted.

Pigeon Girlfriends with a Long Preamble - T / SleepySelfLoathing / 8k - All Crowley wanted was to spend a nice night in with his husband, so of course he ends up summoned by a bunch of cultists instead. Why would he expect anything different....This would probably be a lot easier to deal with if he wasn't wearing Aziraphale's fluffiest bathrobe.

All Creatures that Have the Breath of Life - G / Elsajeni / 4k - Aziraphale fishes a very sodden Crawly out of the water during the Flood.

Touched by an Angel (And it Bloody Hurts) - G  /hedgehog-o-brien / 7k - Aziraphale can’t touch Crowley without burning him.

Douse the Fire, Help Me Breathe  - G / Arej / 1.5k - Even demons fear fire, when they've watched their world burn.

In a City Under Aerial Bombardment  - G / battle_cat / 3k - After the church and the bomb and the books.

Small Mercies - G / rattatatosk / 4k - Crawly gets smited. Aziraphale lends a hand.

Easier Than Air - G / A_Candle_For_Sherlock / 3.5k - The world hasn't ended, and everything is fine. They're fine. It's terrifying.

attachment - T / artenon / 4.5k - Crowley crosses over to open the passenger door for Aziraphale, and Aziraphale’s attention is drawn to Crowley’s uneven gait, the light, too-quick steps and the rocking back and forth on his heels as he holds the door open and waits for Aziraphale to get in.“Oh, Crowley,” Aziraphale says, heart sinking, “your feet.”

Hell Freezes Over - M / charliebrown1234 + Turcote / 18k - The year is 2002, and Crowley and Aziraphale are sent to Alaska to investigate a decommissioned entrance to Hell. What could possibly go wrong? 

Better The Demon You Know - T / mikkimouse / 1.2k - When Crawly falls out of the sky and into the flood, he gets help from a very unexpected source.

Gently, gently - G / the_pen_is_mightier / 3k - Heaven is cold and lonely. Hell is filthy and crowded. Aziraphale badly needs to be touched; Crowley needs fresh air, and light, and space. They can’t seem to connect on days after they’ve returned from their respective head offices.

Of Firsts and Foremosts  - T / kedreeva / 6k - Aziraphale is left vulnerable and injured as his first molt approaches. Crawly comes to the rescue for the first time.

The Brazen Serpent - T / ImprobableDreams900 / 11k - Some other angels come to help Aziraphale at the end of the Isrealites’ 40-year exile in the wilderness, unfortunately for Crawley.

hold my hand tight (we'll make it another night) - G / cryptidkidprem / 3k - The night at Crowley’s flat. He’s having a hard time not panicking.

Harbours of My Own - T / wingedspirit / 30k - Crowley knows that, as a demon, his freedom is limited. He doesn't get to have a home; he doesn't get to love. Aziraphale would very much like to change that, but he, too, is limited in what he can do. It takes the better part of six thousand years, but they'll get there.

crack me open, feel me shatter - T / rattatatosk / 2.5k - Crowley dreams of the Fall. Aziraphale is there to catch him when he wakes.

Angst (w/a Happy Ending)

Where His Angel Dares to Tread - M / PinkPenguinParade / 16k - Crowley is taken by Hell. Aziraphale disguises himself as best he can for the rescue mission. Newt and Anathema help.

Remembrance of Things Past - T / Fyre / 18k - Hell takes Crowley’s memories all the way back to Eden as punishment for his crimes.

Drunk Theology - G / battle_cat / 3k - Aziraphale had been hoping tonight for Giggly Drunk Crowley, which was his favorite drunk Crowley. That didn’t seem to be how things were working out, though.

Like a River Flows - T / kedreeva / 15k - Five times Crowley was not allowed to love Aziraphale, and one time he succeeded.

The Cultivation of New Growth - T / Vitreous_humor / 3k - “I mean,” he said carefully, “if you want a plant, let me give you one of the snake plants or maybe the big coleus. They'd be good for the shop, pretty stalwart in the dark...You don't want this one, it's rotten.” “Actually,” Aziraphale said firmly, “I do want that one.”

The Holy Essence of Experience - T / Dragonsquill / 4k - They know how they feel, but giving it a name would be too dangerous.   Ineffable husbands from the beginning to the end of the world, aware and wanting.

AUs/Crossovers

be mine tonight (be mine forever) - T / artenon / 11k - Human!AU. When Aziraphale finds out his coworkers have made a bet that he won’t bring anyone to the company party, he asks his best friend Crowley to go as his date just to spite them. Things quickly spiral out of control.

Siren’s Song - T / kedreeva / 30k+ (WIP) - Siren!AU. Crowley, a lone siren, calls a ship to wreck upon his reef, but finds when he meets pirate captain Aziraphale that sirens are not the only ones able to lure another creature to their heart's desire.

Adopt Don’t Shop - G / lucky_spike / 6k - Cat!AU based on Chekov’s “Good Meowmons” comics.

The Ones Who Walk Away From Nevaeh  - T / soft_october / 15k - AU based on “The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas”

The Grinch Who Sold Christmas - T / darcylindbergh / 60k - Human AU / Hallmark Movie AU. Crowley is a big city lawyer sent to seal the deal that will destroy the quaint town of Tadfield forever, right before Christmas... and then he falls in love with the town, and a certain bookshop owner. Ridiculously sappy fluff that hits all the right notes.

The Odd One Out  T / RainyDayDecaf / 2k- A meeting of many different Crowleys and Aziraphales.

Beat Again - T / TeaCub90 / 7k - Human AU. Two neighbours keep each other and their respective conditions company in the dead of night

Outsider POV

Ophidiophobia - G / lyricwritesprose / 7.6k - Pepper is afraid of snakes. When this is abruptly revealed in an encounter with Crowley’s serpent form, she immediately goes about trying to cure herself of it.

What’s in a Name? - G / lyricwritesprose / 4k -  “You do realize,” Brother Francis said, “that Warlock is just your name, not some sort of, of directive?”

Damaged - G / lyricwritesprose / 6k - Aziraphale is struggling after the Apocalypse. Madam Tracy offers some advice. (Very good spooky/nonhuman Aziraphale in this one.)

Angel’s Favor - T/ PinkPenguinParade / 10k - A hundred years ago, Aziraphale gave one of his feathers to a woman who helped him. In the modern day, her descendant calls in the favor.

Protective Camouflage -  G/ politeanarcy/ 2.3k - The Antichrist isn’t the only one with defenses against being noticed.

Disposable - T / lyricwritesprose / 7k - Eric the Disposable Demon attempts to become Crowley’s vassal after the Apoca-wasn’t. Nothing goes the way they expect after that.

on deceiving appearances - G / asideofourown / 2k - The Disposable Demon realizes the truth of Crowley’s deception in Heaven.

Anthony J. Crowley, Retired Demon and Airbnb Superhost - G / TheOldAquarian / 3k - What are you supposed to do when you've been fired from your sweet job in Hell for thwarting the schemes of Satan, you've got a swanky flat in Mayfair, and you're looking for an excuse to spend all your time in someone else's bookshop? Obviously, you turn to the dubious world of short-term vacation rentals.

Other

the best laid schemes - T / asideofourown / 4k - How Crowley got his Rat Army

Incongruous States of Being - T / ZehWulf / 8k - “Who would win: Aziraphale or Crowley.” “Oh!” Aziraphale startles. “Well—such a question. It’s not as though either of us has engaged in so much as fisticuffs in ages, and one does need to keep up practice with these sorts of things.” His fretting dies abruptly when Crowley cuts over him clearly, baldly: “Aziraphale.”

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition - T / WoodsWitch / 12k - The Arrangement is 500 years old, and Crowley and Aziraphale have been having a fine time in Renaissance Florence. Things start to go a bit pear-shaped with the arrival of a Friar Savonarola, so Crowley suggests that they meet up in his favorite refuge from the rest of medieval Europe: Spain. ((Don’t let the title fool you, this is an incredibly in-depth and well-researched historical fic and deserves way more hits than it has.))

[deliciousdetectivestranger]

Nachos After the War

“Brace yourself,” Leo said. “These babies are dangerous.”

He set the nachos in the middle of the table. The platter was piled high with toasted tortilla chips, melted cheese and jalapeno slices.

The six other demigods leaned in to study their new quest.

“Why are they dangerous?” Frank asked. “Do they explode or something?”

Hazel frowned. “Leo, please tell me you didn’t use Gorgon blood for seasoning.”

“Nah, these are legit nachos. But the jalapenos are from the Demeter cabin’s garden. They grow them, like, superhot. Best I’ve ever had.”

Piper pulled a nacho from the pile. “Vegetarian?”

“Yeah, Beauty Queen. Broke my heart to use refried beans with no lard, but for you, I compromised. Now, for the real challenge . . .”

Leo whipped out a jar of green chili sauce. “Valdez High Octane Fuel. May result in severe burns.”

“Bring it on.” Percy rubbed his hands. “I love spicy.”

Annabeth elbowed him. “After drinking from the Phlegethon, you can still say that?”

“Well, I’m digging in.” Jason said. “Before they get cold.”

“Oh, that won’t happen.” Leo’s hand burst into flames. He seared the top of Nacho Mountain. “There you go. Toasted at your table.”

The demigods started pulling nachos off the pile and passing around the Valdez High Octane Fuel.

It was a nice afternoon at the dining pavilion. Most of the campers were off doing their late summer activities – archery classes, the climbing wall, canoeing around the lake. Over by the stables, Arion was munching on a pile of gold nuggets, fueling up after the trip from Camp Jupiter with Hazel and Frank.

“Is it weird that I miss the Argo II?” Jason wondered.

“Nah.” Percy popped a jalapeno slice in his mouth. “We had some good times on that ship. When we weren’t about to die, that is.”

“That was basically always,” Annabeth said.

Piper sighed, gazing out across Long Island Sound. “Yeah. Good times.”

Hazel threw a diamond at Leo. It bounced off his shirt. “I still can’t believe you let us think you were dead.”

“Okay, first of,” Leo said, “I was dead. Second, I came back as soon as I could. Ogygia is like . . . a long way away. I’m just glad it wasn’t centuries afterwards. And third, I did make nachos. That’s the best peace offering I could think of.”

“You sure you can’t stay?” Jason asked. “I mean, dude, everybody needs you here.”

“I appreciate it,” Leo said. “But Calypso kind of wants to see the world. And I kind of want to show it to her.”

Percy cleared his throat, like the jalapeno had gone down wrong. “So . . . where is she?”

“Festus took her to Manhattan for the afternoon. She figured it would be easier, giving me some time with you guys. Besides, she wants to see the city.”

Frank picked the cheese off his nachos. It was times like this he hated being lactose intolerant. “So where will you go next? Will you come out to visit Camp Jupiter? I know Reyna would like to see you.”

Leo laughed. “Last time I was there I blew up her Forum, but thanks. Maybe one of these days. I don’t know. We don’t have any plans. And I kind of like it that way.”

Percy noticed a dreamy, happy look on Leo’s face, like he’d just had a really good dream, wrapped in warm blankets in a comfortable bed. It made him happy for Valdez, but also a little sad.

“I felt so useless,” Percy said. “I mean . . . the final battles with the giants and Gaea. Anybody else feel like I wasn’t even there?”

“That was the whole point, Seaweed Brain.” Annabeth sipped her lemonade.

“For me to be useless?”

“No, your fatal flaw . . . my mom warned you about it. Kymopoleia warned you. You’ve been hearing about it for years. To save a friend, you’d lose the world. You can’t step back if a friend is in trouble.”

“Yeah. But . . .”

“Man,” Leo said. “I know it was harsh, but I had to pull that stunt – get Gaea off the ground, blow her up, risk my life. If I’d told you about . . .”

Percy sighed. “Okay. I would’ve tried to stop you. Or help you. Or something.”

“And that’s what Gaea would want – to have us crossing wires, messing each other up.” Leo pulled another tortilla chip from the pile. “Your big challenge was stepping back, not being the big hero. Letting me do what I needed to do.”

“Not very heroic,” Percy mumbled.

“Which is the whole point,” Piper agreed.

“It’s my struggle too,” said Annabeth. “My flaw is pride. I’ve been learning about that ever since the Argo II set sail. I think I can solve every problem. But I can’t. I needed Piper’s help. I needed to accept that other people need to act, take the risk, solve the problem when I can’t. Percy . . . we had our share of trouble.”

“Like fricking Tartarus, for instance,” he said.

“Yeah. But the end game – that was all Jason, Piper and Leo. Just the way it started. That’s how it had to finish. Us stepping back, letting it happen as it was meant to . . . that was our last big challenge.”

“Just saying it was kind of a letdown.”

Hazel smiled. “Someday, when they write this story, I bet the readers will say the same thing. The great Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase . . . their last challenge was to not be the ones who solved the challenge. But your struggle is being able to let go. Maybe the people who read your story . . . that will be their struggle, too. There’s always a time when you have to let go.”

Percy had to smile. “Hazel, you’ve come a long way since that day at the Caldecott Tunnel. Look at you now – centurion, sorceress, all-around kicker of butts.”

Hazel rolled her eyes. “Well, you’re still the scariest most powerful demigod I know, Jackson. I’m just saying . . . that’s why it was hard for you to not be the center of the fight. But it had to be that way. It doesn’t mean you won’t have other challenges in the future.”

“Oh, please,” Percy groaned. “Can I get through high school first? I need some R&R.”

“And some time with your girlfriend,” Annabeth added.

“And that.”

“Hey,” Frank said. “Did you see your mom? I remember when we were in Alaska, you were trying to call her.”

“Yeah, I did,” Percy said. “She . . . well, she knew I was okay. I’d sent her some letters via the wind spirits, then an Iris-message after the battle. But when I got home, man, I think she cracked some ribs she hugged me so hard. She’s doing all right, though. I mean, my mom is a tough lady. She’s finished her first novel.”

“Nice,” Jason said. “Uh . . . the novel’s not about you, is it?”

Percy frowned. “She won’t tell me. That kind of has me worried. And this little smile she gave my stepdad Paul . . . I dunno. She said she wants it to be a surprise.”

“Uh-oh,” Piper said. “Well, if she gets published and becomes a bestseller, I can give you some tips about dealing with a famous parent. It’s not all fun and games.”

[zealouszenith]

post-BOO short story feat. the seven by rick riordan (via his insta)

Nachos After the War

“Brace yourself,” Leo said. “These babies are dangerous.”

He set the nachos in the middle of the table. The platter was piled high with toasted tortilla chips, melted cheese and jalapeno slices.

The six other demigods leaned in to study their new quest.

“Why are they dangerous?” Frank asked. “Do they explode or something?”

Hazel frowned. “Leo, please tell me you didn’t use Gorgon blood for seasoning.”

“Nah, these are legit nachos. But the jalapenos are from the Demeter cabin’s garden. They grow them, like, superhot. Best I’ve ever had.”

Piper pulled a nacho from the pile. “Vegetarian?”

“Yeah, Beauty Queen. Broke my heart to use refried beans with no lard, but for you, I compromised. Now, for the real challenge . . .”

Leo whipped out a jar of green chili sauce. “Valdez High Octane Fuel. May result in severe burns.”

“Bring it on.” Percy rubbed his hands. “I love spicy.”

Annabeth elbowed him. “After drinking from the Phlegethon, you can still say that?”

“Well, I’m digging in.” Jason said. “Before they get cold.”

“Oh, that won’t happen.” Leo’s hand burst into flames. He seared the top of Nacho Mountain. “There you go. Toasted at your table.”

The demigods started pulling nachos off the pile and passing around the Valdez High Octane Fuel.

It was a nice afternoon at the dining pavilion. Most of the campers were off doing their late summer activities – archery classes, the climbing wall, canoeing around the lake. Over by the stables, Arion was munching on a pile of gold nuggets, fueling up after the trip from Camp Jupiter with Hazel and Frank.

“Is it weird that I miss the Argo II?” Jason wondered.

“Nah.” Percy popped a jalapeno slice in his mouth. “We had some good times on that ship. When we weren’t about to die, that is.”

“That was basically always,” Annabeth said.

Piper sighed, gazing out across Long Island Sound. “Yeah. Good times.”

Hazel threw a diamond at Leo. It bounced off his shirt. “I still can’t believe you let us think you were dead.”

“Okay, first of,” Leo said, “I was dead. Second, I came back as soon as I could. Ogygia is like . . . a long way away. I’m just glad it wasn’t centuries afterwards. And third, I did make nachos. That’s the best peace offering I could think of.”

“You sure you can’t stay?” Jason asked. “I mean, dude, everybody needs you here.”

“I appreciate it,” Leo said. “But Calypso kind of wants to see the world. And I kind of want to show it to her.”

Percy cleared his throat, like the jalapeno had gone down wrong. “So . . . where is she?”

“Festus took her to Manhattan for the afternoon. She figured it would be easier, giving me some time with you guys. Besides, she wants to see the city.”

Frank picked the cheese off his nachos. It was times like this he hated being lactose intolerant. “So where will you go next? Will you come out to visit Camp Jupiter? I know Reyna would like to see you.”

Leo laughed. “Last time I was there I blew up her Forum, but thanks. Maybe one of these days. I don’t know. We don’t have any plans. And I kind of like it that way.”

Percy noticed a dreamy, happy look on Leo’s face, like he’d just had a really good dream, wrapped in warm blankets in a comfortable bed. It made him happy for Valdez, but also a little sad.

“I felt so useless,” Percy said. “I mean . . . the final battles with the giants and Gaea. Anybody else feel like I wasn’t even there?”

“That was the whole point, Seaweed Brain.” Annabeth sipped her lemonade.

“For me to be useless?”

“No, your fatal flaw . . . my mom warned you about it. Kymopoleia warned you. You’ve been hearing about it for years. To save a friend, you’d lose the world. You can’t step back if a friend is in trouble.”

“Yeah. But . . .”

“Man,” Leo said. “I know it was harsh, but I had to pull that stunt – get Gaea off the ground, blow her up, risk my life. If I’d told you about . . .”

Percy sighed. “Okay. I would’ve tried to stop you. Or help you. Or something.”

“And that’s what Gaea would want – to have us crossing wires, messing each other up.” Leo pulled another tortilla chip from the pile. “Your big challenge was stepping back, not being the big hero. Letting me do what I needed to do.”

“Not very heroic,” Percy mumbled.

“Which is the whole point,” Piper agreed.

“It’s my struggle too,” said Annabeth. “My flaw is pride. I’ve been learning about that ever since the Argo II set sail. I think I can solve every problem. But I can’t. I needed Piper’s help. I needed to accept that other people need to act, take the risk, solve the problem when I can’t. Percy . . . we had our share of trouble.”

“Like fricking Tartarus, for instance,” he said.

“Yeah. But the end game – that was all Jason, Piper and Leo. Just the way it started. That’s how it had to finish. Us stepping back, letting it happen as it was meant to . . . that was our last big challenge.”

“Just saying it was kind of a letdown.”

Hazel smiled. “Someday, when they write this story, I bet the readers will say the same thing. The great Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase . . . their last challenge was to not be the ones who solved the challenge. But your struggle is being able to let go. Maybe the people who read your story . . . that will be their struggle, too. There’s always a time when you have to let go.”

Percy had to smile. “Hazel, you’ve come a long way since that day at the Caldecott Tunnel. Look at you now – centurion, sorceress, all-around kicker of butts.”

Hazel rolled her eyes. “Well, you’re still the scariest most powerful demigod I know, Jackson. I’m just saying . . . that’s why it was hard for you to not be the center of the fight. But it had to be that way. It doesn’t mean you won’t have other challenges in the future.”

“Oh, please,” Percy groaned. “Can I get through high school first? I need some R&R.”

“And some time with your girlfriend,” Annabeth added.

“And that.”

“Hey,” Frank said. “Did you see your mom? I remember when we were in Alaska, you were trying to call her.”

“Yeah, I did,” Percy said. “She . . . well, she knew I was okay. I’d sent her some letters via the wind spirits, then an Iris-message after the battle. But when I got home, man, I think she cracked some ribs she hugged me so hard. She’s doing all right, though. I mean, my mom is a tough lady. She’s finished her first novel.”

“Nice,” Jason said. “Uh . . . the novel’s not about you, is it?”

Percy frowned. “She won’t tell me. That kind of has me worried. And this little smile she gave my stepdad Paul . . . I dunno. She said she wants it to be a surprise.”

“Uh-oh,” Piper said. “Well, if she gets published and becomes a bestseller, I can give you some tips about dealing with a famous parent. It’s not all fun and games.”

[blueeyesspitfire]

Another One

Someone asked when (and maybe, subconsciously, why) I decided to add another dog (Atlas!) to the team. While it might not seem like it, especially not to the average pet-owner, I have always been extremely strategic when increasing my numbers. I always tell non-mushers: comparatively, I actually have a very small team! It has also taken me more than ten years to get to ten dogs, so I consider my expansion pretty slow.

To answer the question, I started thinking back to how I got started in this sport (and hobby... and lifestyle). I had always wanted a Siberian Husky, but as a 20-year-old college student living in an apartment with a tiny, unfenced yard, no rescue would let me adopt one. My then-boyfriend (hi Rob) and I ended up adopting Dexter from a foster family that could tell we were more prepared than your average idiot kids. At this point, I was aware of mushing, but it was not part of my plan. I just wanted a dog that could accompany me on hikes and other outdoor adventures.

A few years later, and after volunteering for both a husky rescue and a wolf/wolfdog rescue, I finally had the credentials for husky ownership. I still had a hard time finding the right dog through adoption organizations, so I ended up looking into reputable breeders. One of them invited me to the Pine Barrens to attend a training meetup and "see the dogs in action". I was intrigued; this was New Jersey, where our winters weren’t known for their snow. It was also autumn, so there definitely wasn't snow on the ground. This is where it all began.

I met folks with only a few dogs and some with over a dozen. They used bikes, scooters, and non-motorized carts that looked like a mix between a shopping cart and a horse chariot. I started biking with Dexter and I was even able to hook him up with some borrowed dogs to see what true dog propulsion felt like. I was hooked before I even had my husky.

Denali was my first true sled dog and she paved the way for us. I started biking with her and Dexter, but I knew I wanted to get a third to pull a cart and, eventually, a sled. I adopted Knox six months after Denali came home. I remember everyone being shocked at this point. Three dogs? Wild.

For a time, the trio met my needs. I started a new job that required me to go into NYC a few times a week. I hung out with friends a lot. I traveled often. We mushed, too, but it wasn't all encompassing. Then Dexter started slowing down a bit. After all, he wasn't really built to keep up with two athletic young huskies. I started thinking about an eventual replacement for him. Denali's littermate, Mia, was due to have a litter, and I was quick to jump on the opportunity. Willow joined us in 2015, and shortly thereafter, I made my first "mistake".

When Willow was old enough to join the team, I kept Dexter on the line, since we were doing short and relatively easy runs that he could still handle. I was surprised to see him get a sort of second wind once he had a consistent running partner. In fact, the entire team seemed to do better in pairs. Eventually I had the girls leading with the boys in wheel, and Dex lasted through the whole season. And I realized, shit, I want to run a team of four.

Dexter's second wind was short lived, which I expected, and it wasn't long before I started thinking about another dog to take his place (for real this time). So a year after Willow, I added Blitz to the team. Ok, good, great, I should have been satisfied at this point, right? I wanted a team of four and I had it. Except there was a thought creeping in the back of my mind, almost since the beginning of this whole crazy journey. A friend had told me that you probably want at least six dogs to carry a passenger. I also really liked the idea of having leaders, team dogs, and wheel dogs. So I got to work.

I secured a fully remote job and found myself easing into a life more centered around mushing. Hubble joined the pack in 2017, a year after Blitz, and right before I moved to California. I thought, hell, let's make five work and see what comes next.

In 2018 I moved back to the Northeast, and finally had the space and setup to complete the six pack. Laika joined us in early 2019 and the following season was my first time competing in 6-dog classes. So now, certainly, I should be all set—right? Except...

Except it had taken me so long to build my six dog team that my oldest, Denali and Knox, were starting to show their age. Knox, a rescue with less than ideal structure, was having trouble keeping up with the younger dogs. Denali could still hold her own, but she seemed to be getting bored with the repetitive training we do at home. If I wanted to keep this whole thing going, I knew I had to start thinking about filling their places on the line.

So, later on in 2019, I found Sagan and Hopper to join the pack. I wanted to "try out" some Alaskan Huskies (mixed breeds specifically bred for mushing, not to adhere to a specific standard) and their lines synced up nicely with my existing dogs. Hopper is even half related to my existing crew, so I knew he’d fit well.

If you're keeping count, this brought me to nine dogs: one fully retired, two semi-retired, and six active team members. At this point in the journey, I'd been saying that my limit was ten. Mainly, I'm constrained by vehicle space: the dog van fits eight crates, two of which are big enough to be doubled up in. The dog truck has eight boxes with two dogs fitting in the cab. So, ten is possible, but was it really necessary?

When the pandemic first hit, and I knew I wouldn't be traveling for awhile, the thought of raising a pup crossed my mind. Then came the chaos of the Denali/Willow fights and my broken thumb, which quickly squashed the idea of adding more dogs to the mix. I didn't think about it again until the fall, when some exciting litters were planned, and my favorite breeder mentioned plans of moving to Alaska. I was training for my first mid-distance race with the 6-dog team. I knew I had room for one more, but I wasn't sure I had the justification for it.

Then Blitz had a seizure. This rocked me to my core and I'm still dealing with the shockwaves of PTSD it caused. Blitz has since been 100% fine and we've figured out a schedule that ensures his blood sugar levels stay in a safe range. All the races we were aiming for ended up canceled due to Covid, but I'm not sure we would've been ready to run them given how slow we got back on track with training.

Most "real" mushers have a larger pool of dogs than those they run in races. Many train an A team and a B team, or run larger strings than necessary for the class they intend to compete in. Then, when race day comes, they select the dogs who are running their best. If a dog gets a sore paw, or is more sensitive to warm temperatures, or refuses to eat, or just generally isn't enthusiastic, they can get "benched" without impacting the team's race. It felt like a gamble to train all season for some big (to me) races, only to have the possibility of being at a disadvantage (with a 5-dog team, if one dog couldn't run—most 6-dog classes allow as few as five) or not able to compete at all (if two couldn't run).

A seventh, active team member adds a bit of buffer, so I can more confidently chase after my goals. And yes, I also made the same mistake of running the semi-retirees with their yearling replacements. An 8-dog team is awesome to behold, but I didn't let myself get too comfortable with it. That's not to say things won't change as my goals and situation changes. If you couldn't tell, that's been the theme of this whole wild ride.

To conclude, I guess I should more specifically answer "why Atlas?", since he's the pup I chose. Atlas comes from some of my very favorite lines. Knowing that his breeder, Jaye, will be leaving the area to compete in Iditarod 2022 (go Jaye!!), I figured this might be my last opportunity for a pup from Sibersong. And of course, I’m still grounded from travel for several more months, making now an ideal time for puppy raising.

So, there you have it. A very long-winded explanation that nobody really asked for, but I hope it gives you some insight behind the decisions I've made.

[stonerbughead]

Maria watches friday night lights (#35)

5x12 baby, helpppp how are we already at the penultimate episode (already, i say, after dragging this first-ever watch out basically as long as humanly possible L O L why am i like this)

my reactions / recap / flailing under the cut

I see that Tyra is literally the preview photo so I’m already like OH SHITTTT

Tami coming home from the airport with potentially life-altering news...and Eric is asleep in front of the TV on the couch, clearly trying to wait up for her, my heart.

AHHH Julie’s home??? A surprise? This is so fucking cute! The ending vibes are definitely here.

Omg Tim are you good, baby? Is he throwing his bed out of the trailer? Damn he clearly has so much trauma from prison.

Damn NBC 8 is pulling up, that’s how you know it’s State. “It’s State, Levi, get used to it.” “No, I’ll NEVER get used to it!” Lmao i love Levi.

WOW look at Luke trying to set up childcare so moms can participate in a hearing about school funding! GO OFF KING

Omg i almost forgot Mindy was pregnant again. Billy’s so excited...oh fuck, TWINS? They’re gonna be so broke forever. Mindy is as horrified as I would be lmao

Oh shit, here we go...Tami’s finally telling Eric about the job offer...and admitting she wants it!!! AHH

“We’d have to move to Philadelphia.” “We live in Texas. Honey, Texas...is where our friends and family are. Texas is where I work, Texas is where I have my job.” Weren’t y’all just thinking about moving to Florida like two episodes ago? I smell a double standard, sir!

Ugh Eric is shutting down. “I can’t talk about this right now.” BISH

“How many times have we moved before for your job?” MMHMM that’s right, Eric! You look shell-shocked but you need to take that in, sit with it!

Tim Riggins behind the bar is hot. Just an observation.

Ugh, the tension between poor Tim and Billy. Tim’s gonna go to Alaska?! WOW did not see that plan coming!

“What the hell are you gonna do, sleep with a bunch of woodchucks?” BILLY WHAT LMAO

“You’re gonna leave Texas?” “YES.” I love the drama in both these back to back conversations about the thought of Leaving Texas.

Broken dryer, Jess, I’ve been there. Like right now, we have a broken dryer in our apartment. Ooh, Vince coming and finding her and being gentle!

Aw poor Jess. “I finally found a coach who was open-minded enough to let me in and not laugh at me. He lets me shadow him and teach me how to be a coach, and now they’re gonna take it all away.” These poor kids.

VINCE: “We won’t let that happen.” MY HEART. I love them.

Wow, Luke’s being sold a low-tier football program, isn’t he? “We just got a Costco, and a brand new movie theater in the town.” yikes.

How is a reporter asking Eric “are you worried he’s taking on too much?” about a teenage boy. Like, how do they know this much about Vince’s life? Texas football culture will forever amaze me, even after watching almost the entire series.

“We haven’t even scratched the surface of what Vince Howard can do.” AWWW my heart! Eric is such a good coach.

Oh wow, the East Dillon Lions vs. Dillon Panthers funding debate!!! Did they send a Booster Club representative here to Buddy’s door to shake him down? “There’s gonna be a lot of changes.” Like what IS THIS?

“Vince Howard is gonna be a Panther.” This is... A Lot. “That chair at the head of the table is waiting on you.”

Oh nooooo Tim getting physical with a customer.

“I’ve been waiting five minutes for my drink.” FAMILIAR VOICE IN THE CORNER??? “Hey there, jailbird.” It’s Tyra, and she has long brown hair! I dig it! I dig this reunion!

Aw, Eric coming home and immediately apologizing to Tami for earlier.

Tami’s being realistic that if the Lions lose, their economic situation is in jeopardy—so a good job offer on the table is something to consider!

“So you’re routing against us?” OMG and there’s a moment when Tami thinks he’s referring to them but then realizes he’s referring to “oh, the team?” jfc “You and I, or us the Lions. Of course.”

“You know what, I’ve been a coach’s wife for 18 years. Every decision we’ve made has been based on your coaching career.” LIFE BEYOND FOOTBALL OH SHIT

Oh God Eric’s getting up with the keys???? Come on, dude! This is not cool! There are so many colleges and high schools in Pennsylvania! I promise they play football there!

Omg did Tyra just tell Tim about the twins since he refused to really talk to Billy?

Aw Tyra wrote to him in prison? That’s sweet.

Awww Mindy’s literally having a breakdown about not having enough space, and not being able to handle three kids. These poor babes. And the football team’s fate hinges on this because of the assistant coach’s salary...fucking crazy

Ooh now Buddy’s trying to hype Eric up on the Panther-Lions Superteam they’re gonna create.

Aw the whole fam at Billy and Mindy’s—Tyra, Becky, even Mama Collette.

“He’s got some stupid idea he’s gonna go to Alaska and work on a pipeline.” Well, when someone comes to prison and tells you they’ll actually let someone who has to check the felony box work a job with decent wages, yeah. God, the prison industrial complex sucks. Feeds the most vulnerable people into the shittiest jobs.

Julie outside of the Saracen home? Awww. Has she seen him since that romantic Chicago good-bye?

Luke, listen to Becky!! “I’d really appreciate if you put down the wrench and listen to me.” YES GURL

“That’s not real. You are! And I just think there’s been a lot of misunderstandings.” “Well, that’s really pretty you should put it in a love poem.” “Are you kidding me? Go to hell!” yeah, correct answer, Becky! These teens are under so much STRESS! The DRAMA!

Omg all these grown men screaming at the town hall meeting about football i cannot

Ewww these classist fucks. “Some of us on this side of town happen to own our houses.” Eat the rich.

Why the fuck is Billy writing a fucking speech while driving? And he’s surprised he swerved? Sir…

Aw poor Eric with pain in his eyes telling Billy he can’t be definitive about his job security...I mean, yeah.

Aw, Luke coming into the bar while Tim is working after...that talk with Becky…

“You and Becky...are you in love with her?” Tim looks so amused. “Are you serious?” “...Yeah. “No, I’m not in love with Becky. I care about her.” THANK YOU BOYS AND GIRLS CAN BE FRIENDS. Is this not what Becky tried to tell you last night? “I’ve been there a few times when nobody else was, but that’s about it.”

Aw Luke is so similar to Tim rn! Not “feeling it” from the school that wants him, even tho he loves football!

“You’re going to state, yeah? Nothing’s gonna beat that.” “Play it that way. Play it like it’s the last time you’re ever gonna lace up.” Some iconic Tim Riggins lines here!

“We were at the meeting last night, but we don’t want to argue or yell, we just want to give you our thoughts.” MY HEART i love Vince and Jess. “Well, that’ll be refreshing.” LOL after all these grown ass men were screaming over each other

“Was it really that bad?” “If you’re asking if I was raped in prison, Tyra, the answer’s no.” LOSING IT at this exchange lmao

“Tim Riggins, what the hell is going on with you?” that’s the question!

Oh shit is Tyra just finding out that Tim took the fall for Billy now...fuck

“He had a wife, a family. I had the chance to give him something, to give Stevie something we never had. To give him his father.” Damn, the look on Tyra’s face. She knows all too well why he did what he did even tho it fucked him up :( THE EMOTION. THE PAIN!

Damn they’re announcing the decision on the Dillon teams *before* state?

“What are you hoping for?” loaded question, Julie! “I hope that the Lions get to stay put, and I hope that I get to be Dean of Admissions at Braemore College.” awww yeah you do deserve it all, Tami.

Oh wow all these people from both teams standing in the street, drinking and talking and waiting for the decision with “i was living in a devil’s town” playing??? THIS SHOW.

I feel for the dude who has to address this town about this decision.

Anddd there it is, they eliminated the East Dillon program. The rich kids cheering for their victory in front of the poor kids mourning the end of the program they fought to make better is so fucking tacky.

And omg now they have to play state?

“Let me tell you something, you’re gonna be the star quarterback of the Dillon panthers next year, and you’re gonna shine.” OH this hug between Eric and Vince! “See you at practice tomorrow.” Again, the reminder that these people gotta play a *state championship*! wild

“We need to talk.” BUDDY WHAT?

Aw Julie and Tyra hanging out and there are Panthers screaming out of cars. “Welcome back to Dillon.” “No place like it.” Oh, this warms my heart.

I love this exchange: “You know, it’s kind of like this drug. When you get outside of it, you see it for what it really is. But when you’re in it, it seems like there’s no other possible reality.” “It’s a hard place to shake.” “Yeah...I didn’t see that one coming.”

“Whatever happened with you and Matty?” SAME, TYRA, SAME. “We’re good. I mean, we still talk every now and then. He went to Chicago. I went to visit him awhile back, and...I don’t really know what we are or aren’t or…” INTRIGUE. “I kind of just really miss him.” “Life’s harder when you really love someone.” Awwww. I loved that scene so much.

Wow, Buddy and Eric are talking at the Panthers field?

Oh, Buddy’s trying to sell him on winning the championship and then going to the Panthers to coach along with Vince….

“I can never come back to this school and coach. Never.” I mean, FAIR.

“Three rings in six years. That’s history. No one’s ever done that. You’ve got everything you want.” Yeah, Buddy, but does Tami get what she wants in that scenario?

Lol i love all the East Dillon Lions drunk on the field, like seasons’ past with teams past…

“Alright I’m taking a piece of grass home.” LOL TINK

To State and to Coach Taylor, huh? Sounds familiar. And Buddy Jr. is puking. Lmao.

“Just make sure you’re really okay with losing him.” YES Tyra! As much as Billy has majorly fucked up, i agree with her that the idea of the Riggins brothers losing each other when they ONLY had each other for so long...it makes my heart sad.

Oh shit are Tim and Tyra about to kiss? I almost forgot they were together back when this whole show started! “Please don’t go.” DAMNNN

Wow what a scene. Eric comes home with his news that he could have “everything” and Tami replies, “I’ll say to you what you haven’t had the grace to say to me: congratulations, Eric.

“I want you to take me someplace.” “Where?” “I’ll tell you when we’re on the way.” This is really cute! Also Tyra is so hot damn gurl i see you!

Aw Vince shooting his shot, yes! “What about you and me?” “I was really proud of how hard you tried. Thank you.”

“You already have two strikes against you.” “Jess, I was born with two strikes against me.” LOL SO TRUE. and aw what a hug!

Tyra took him to his land, didn’t she??? “Alaska, Tim?” He’s SMILING. Is that Texas Forever vibes i’m seeing here?

AH, Matt is home with a Christmas tree to see his grandma!!! She’s so excited!!

Aw she forgot his dad’s dead? “Did you say it was Christmas?” Oh this is so sad.

Why are Buddy and the Panthers coach standing at the Taylors’ front door like fucking cops late at night? This football program is sinister at times.

“Eighteen years.” Yeah, Tami. And then she turns it back on: “Can I get you two anything? Iced tea, water?” and FADE TO BLACK.

Damn!! What an amazing set-up for a series finale I’ve heard only good things about!!! AHHHH

[papermoonloveslucy]

SPEECH FOR CIVIC ORGANIZATION

February 4, 1949

“Speech for Civic Organization” (aka “Liz Debates Alaska in Town Forum”) is episode #29 of the radio series MY FAVORITE HUSBAND broadcast on February 4, 1949 on the CBS radio network.

Synopsis ~ Liz, anxious to win the approval of an important dinner guest, simply agrees with everything he says. The guest is so impressed with her intelligence that he invites her to be a speaker at his next civic forum.

“My Favorite Husband” was based on the novels Mr. and Mrs. Cugat, the Record of a Happy Marriage (1940) and Outside Eden (1945) by Isabel Scott Rorick, which had previously been adapted into the film Are Husbands Necessary? (1942). “My Favorite Husband” was first broadcast as a one-time special on July 5, 1948. Lucille Ball and Lee Bowman played the characters of Liz and George Cugat, and a positive response to this broadcast convinced CBS to launch “My Favorite Husband” as a series. Bowman was not available Richard Denning was cast as George. On January 7, 1949, confusion with bandleader Xavier Cugat prompted a name change to Cooper. On this same episode Jell-O became its sponsor. A total of 124 episodes of the program aired from July 23, 1948 through March 31, 1951. After about ten episodes had been written, writers Fox and Davenport departed and three new writers took over – Bob Carroll, Jr., Madelyn Pugh, and head writer/producer Jess Oppenheimer. In March 1949 Gale Gordon took over the existing role of George’s boss, Rudolph Atterbury, and Bea Benadaret was added as his wife, Iris. CBS brought “My Favorite Husband” to television in 1953, starring Joan Caulfield and Barry Nelson as Liz and George Cooper. The television version ran two-and-a-half seasons, from September 1953 through December 1955, running concurrently with “I Love Lucy.” It was produced live at CBS Television City for most of its run, until switching to film for a truncated third season filmed (ironically) at Desilu and recasting Liz Cooper with Vanessa Brown.

REGULAR CAST

Lucille Ball (Liz Cooper) was born on August 6, 1911 in Jamestown, New York. She began her screen career in 1933 and was known in Hollywood as ‘Queen of the B’s’ due to her many appearances in ‘B’ movies. With Richard Denning, she starred in a radio program titled “My Favorite Husband” which eventually led to the creation of “I Love Lucy,” a television situation comedy in which she co-starred with her real-life husband, Latin bandleader Desi Arnaz. The program was phenomenally successful, allowing the couple to purchase what was once RKO Studios, re-naming it Desilu. When the show ended in 1960 (in an hour-long format known as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”) so did Lucy and Desi’s marriage. In 1962, hoping to keep Desilu financially solvent, Lucy returned to the sitcom format with “The Lucy Show,” which lasted six seasons. She followed that with a similar sitcom “Here’s Lucy” co-starring with her real-life children, Lucie and Desi Jr., as well as Gale Gordon, who had joined the cast of “The Lucy Show” during season two. Before her death in 1989, Lucy made one more attempt at a sitcom with “Life With Lucy,” also with Gordon.

Richard Denning (George Cooper) was born as Louis Albert Heindrich Denninger Jr., in Poughkeepsie, New York. When he was 18 months old, his family moved to Los Angeles. Plans called for him to take over his father’s garment manufacturing business, but he developed an interest in acting. Denning enlisted in the US Navy during World War II. He is best known for his  roles in various science fiction and horror films of the 1950s. Although he teamed with Lucille Ball on radio in “My Favorite Husband,” the two never acted together on screen. While “I Love Lucy” was on the air, he was seen on another CBS TV series, “Mr. & Mrs. North.”  From 1968 to 1980 he played the Governor on “Hawaii 5-0″, his final role. He died in 1998 at age 84.

Ruth Perrott (Katie, the Maid) was also later seen on “I Love Lucy.” She first played Mrs. Pomerantz (above right), a member of the surprise investigating committee for the Society Matrons League in “Pioneer Women” (ILL S1;E25), as one of the member of the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League in “Lucy and Ethel Buy the Same Dress” (ILL S3;E3), and also played a nurse when “Lucy Goes to the Hospital” (ILL S2;E16). She died in 1996 at the age of 96.

Bob LeMond (Announcer) also served as the announcer for the pilot episode of “I Love Lucy”. When the long-lost pilot was finally discovered in 1990, a few moments of the opening narration were damaged and lost, so LeMond – fifty years later – recreated the narration for the CBS special and subsequent DVD release.

Gale Gordon (Rudolph Atterbury) and Bea Benadaret (Iris Atterbury) had not yet joined the cast as regular characters.  

GUEST CAST

Frank Nelson (Mr. Barton) was born on May 6, 1911 (three months before Lucille Ball) in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He started working as a radio announcer at the age of 15. He later appeared on such popular radio shows as “The Great Gildersleeve,” “Burns and Allen,” and “Fibber McGee & Molly”. This is one of his 11 performances on “My Favorite Husband.”  On “I Love Lucy” he holds the distinction of being the only actor to play two recurring roles: Freddie Fillmore and Ralph Ramsey, as well as six one-off characters, including the frazzled train conductor in “The Great Train Robbery” (ILL S5;E5), a character he repeated on “The Lucy Show.”  Aside from Lucille Ball, Nelson is perhaps most associated with Jack Benny and was a fifteen-year regular on his radio and television programs.

Steve Allen (Scott Campbell, Expert on Alaska) was a talk show and variety host as well as a published composer. Although he was seen with Lucille Ball on awards and quiz shows, their first time acting together on screen didn’t come until 1978′s “Lucy Calls The President”.  In 1980, Ball appeared on the premiere of “The Steve Allen Comedy Hour”. He died in 2000 at age 78. 

TRIVIA: Madelyn Pugh and Bob Carroll Jr. were writers for the Steve Allen radio show and left that job to write for “My Favorite Husband.”  They paid Allen to write his own show one week so they could focus on creating a script submission for “My Favorite Husband.”

EPISODE

ANNOUNCER: “As we look in on the Coopers tonight, they’ve settled down for a quiet evening at home. Liz has discovered an intelligence quiz in a magazine, but she’s having George’s attention, because he is lost in a gripping, blood-curdling murder mystery.” 

George is reading “The Mummy’s Tummy” but Liz spoils the ending to get his attention. George can’t seem to answer any of the IQ questions correctly. 

Q: “What is the name for the chemical formula H2S04?”  

A: Sulfuric Acid

Q: “What does it say on the lid of a United States mailbox?” 

A: Pull Down

Q: “For what was Ma Ferguson noted?” 

A: The first woman Governor of Texas

George decides to quiz Liz, asking her a few questions. 

Q: “What is the poop deck of the ship?” 

Liz’s Answer: “The deck where the sailor’s rest when they’re pooped.”

Real Answer: “A raised portion of the rear deck.” 

Q: “Does sound travel faster or slower in water than it does in air?” 

Liz’s Answer: “Next question.”

Q: “Chicle is the main ingredient in chewing gum. Where is the largest deposit found?”

Liz’s Answer: “Under theatre seats.”

Liz realizes that they aren’t very smart and should probably do something about it. Dr. Guilfoyle, author of the quiz, suggests that a score under 50 needs to be addressed.  

Liz is going to send for his book “How To Improve Yourself.” 

LIZ: “Look at the people who recommend this book: Truman and Goldwyn.” GEORGE: “Harry Truman and Sam Goldwyn?” LIZ: “No, Sam Truman and Harry Goldwyn!” 

Harry Truman (1884-1972) was the 33rd president of the United States from 1945 to 1953, succeeding Franklin D. Roosevelt after his death. He implemented the Marshall Plan to rebuild the economy of Western Europe, and established the Truman Doctrine and NATO. Sam Goldwyn (1879 -1974) was a film producer best known as the founder of several motion picture studios in Hollywood. 

A few days later, the book has arrived and Katie the Maid notices Liz is engrossed in it. Liz states that the Doctor has three rules to impress people: 

Learn Ten New Words a Day

Be a Good Listener

Have One Subject Down Cold So You Can Steer The Conversation Around To It

Liz’s has already got her ten new words and has put them in a sentence.

LIZ: “By assiduous application, I have promulgated a plethora of altruistic ubiquity and lugubrious perspicacity.”

The telephone rings, it is George telling Liz he is bringing home an important person named Mr. Barton, to dinner.  

LIZ: “How important is he, George? Sirloin, T-bone, meatloaf, or hash?” GEORGE: “Strictly sirloin.” 

George explains that Mr. Barton is the one who picks the speakers for the open forums in town. George wants to get picked to be one of the first speakers so he can impress his boss, Mr. Atterbury, and possibly land a raise. George warns Liz to be herself and not try to impress him. 

Liz decides to enact rule #3 and cracks open an encyclopedia to pick the subject.  Much to her surprise, the subject she randomly picks is bees!   Walking up to the house that evening, Mr. Barton (Frank Nelson) confides in George that he is looking forward to meeting a simple housewife, since in his line of work the women are always trying too hard to impress him with their intellect.   George introduces Liz to Mr. Barton, who immediately notices that her vocabulary is amped up. Unfortunately, Liz is using the wrong words most of the time, saying ‘plethora’ for ‘pleasure’ and ‘diversify yourself’ for ‘divert yourself.’

George assures a nervous Mr. Barton that Liz is ‘just an old fashioned girl’.

MR. BARTON: “Sounds like she’s had too many Old- Fashioneds!” 

An Old Fashioned is a cocktail made by mixing sugar with bitters and water, adding whiskey or brandy, and garnishing with orange zest and a cocktail cherry. It is traditionally served in a special glass called an Old Fashioned glass.  A variation on this wordplay was used on “I Love Lucy” in “Million Dollar Idea” (ILL S3;E13) in 1954 when Lucy (disguised as an average housewife selected at random) describes the taste of Aunt Martha’s Old Fashioned Salad Dressing to deliberately encourage buyers to cancel. 

LUCY: “Looks like Aunt Martha had too many Old-Fashioneds!” 

In the kitchen, George tells Liz to stop using fancy words, so Liz moves on to rule #3 - her special subject: bees!  She no sooner starts buzzing about bees when she is chided by George. 

GEORGE (sternly aside): “Liz! Haven’t you forgotten? Mr. Barton’s forum!” LIZ: “Well, I’m for ‘em, too!”

Coincidentally, Lucille Ball was one of several actors known as ‘Queen of the ‘B’s’ - which referred to ‘B’ pictures - films that were done quickly, on a budget, with lesser-known actors. In 1963′s “Lucy’s Barbershop Quartet” (TLS S1;E19) Lucy suggests they sing about bees! 

Mr. Barton tells George he is going to sponsor a Shakespearean Company, if they can convince the City Council to fund them. 

LIZ: “To bee or not to bee!” 

"To be, or not to be" is the opening of a soliloquy by Prince Hamlet in William Shakespeare's play Hamlet, Act 3, Scene 1. In the speech, Hamlet contemplates death and suicide. It is one of the most quoted phrases in all of literature. To Be or Not to Be is a also the title of a 1942 film starring Lucille Ball’s good friend Carole Lombard and Jack Benny, who later became her next door neighbor. The plot concerns a troupe of actors in Nazi-occupied Poland. The film was released one month after Lombard was killed in an airplane crash.

George drags Liz into the hall again, warning her to stop talking about bees! After telling him to “mind his own beeswax”, Liz reluctantly agrees just to listen attentively and agree with everything Mr. Barton says. This works so well, that Mr. Barton barely acknowledges George, but only talks to Liz!  He is so impressed by Liz, he offers to have her on the panel of their very first forum on Saturday night!  She instantly agrees!

Two days later she learns that the forum’s topic is “the effect of jet propulsion and supersonic flight on the future of aviation.” But Liz is un-phased. She has been preparing by buying a new dress, which she tells George has ‘a dive bomb neckline.’  

George and Liz role play to prepare for the forum. Against George’s advice, Liz intends to talk about the Wright Brothers!  

Orville and Wilbur Wright were inventors and pioneers of aviation. In 1903 the Wright brothers achieved the first powered, sustained and controlled airplane flight; they surpassed their own milestone two years later when they built and flew the first fully practical airplane.

At the meeting that night, Mr. Barton announces to the assembled crowd that their aviation expert, Colonel Davis, could not make it. 

MR. BARTON: “He started her from Los Angeles, but he got slightly mixed up in a snowstorm and has just cabled us from Bombay, India.”

Bombay, India is the capital city of the Indian state of Maharashtra. It was formerly renamed Mumbai in 1995 to better reflect the city’s roots and cut ties with its British origins. Coincidentally, a few months after this broadcast, the 1942 film Bombay Clipper was re-released. Although the Lucy gang never traveled to Bombay, it was mentioned in 1955′s “The Hedda Hopper Story” (ILL S4;E21) when everyone was looking for Mrs. McGillicuddy. 

RICKY (Into phone): “Do you have any flights numbered 930? You do? Where's it coming in from? Bombay?” LUCY: “Bombay?” RICKY: “Well knowing your mother... No, even she wouldn't fly from New York to Los Angeles by way of India.”

Instead, Mr. Barton announces that the guest speaker is a famous authority on Alaska, Mr. Scott Campbell (Steve Allen). Unfortunately, Liz knows nothing about Alaska - so she starts to talk about the Wright Brothers instead!

In 1949 Alaska was not yet one of the United States, but was a US territory. The statehood movement gained its first real momentum in 1946 and Alaska was officially proclaimed a state on January 3, 1959. To mark this event, Desilu created a special episode of “The Westinghouse Desilu Playhouse” in which the Ricardos and Mertzes travel to Nome to cash in on a land deal, although no actual filming was done in the 49th state. 

In 1952’s “Lucy Gets Ricky on the Radio” (ILL S1;E32) Lucy presciently (but incorrectly) answers the question “What was the last state to be admitted to the union?” by saying Alaska. At the time, the correct answer to the question was Arizona, admitted on Valentine’s Day 1912.

MR. BARTON: “No!  When are you going to get to Alaska?”  LIZ: “Let me get the plane invented and I’ll fly up there!” 

With nothing else to talk about, Liz starts to talk about bees, but Mr. Barton quickly cuts her off and turns the podium over to Mr. Campbell, who launches into a serious speech about the welfare of the children of Alaska. He suddenly turns to Liz and asks “Who is responsible for these children, Mrs. Cooper?” 

LIZ: “You really want me to answer that?  Wilbur and Orville Wright!” 

In the bedtime tag, it is 4 o’clock in the morning and Liz is eating crackers in bed. Wrestling them away from her, George gets cracker crumbs all over the bed. A few seconds later, Liz is eating an apple!  George takes it from her. He hears her eating a third time and goes to grab whatever it is away from her.  

GEORGE: “Whoah!  What was that!” LIZ: “A glass of cold milk. Goodnight, George.”

End of Episode

Bob LeMond reminds listeners that Lucille Ball will soon be seen in the Paramount Picture Sorrowful Jones. 

[aethuviel]

Real life Na’vi tribe, the Blue Moon Tribe, and realistic goals of going off-grid

In late 2009, James Cameron’s “Avatar” film came, and with it, the Avatar-related forums. There were Avatar forums, Tree of Souls, and Learn Na’vi.

While the film made an impression on me in terms of its world-building and aesthetic beauty, it did not challenge my view on lifestyle or give me ideas on how to live in the future.

But for some, it did. It was in August of 2010 that I (then nineteen years old) was reading around on the aforementioned Avatar boards, where there was a very(!) lengthy (I believe 50+ pages by the time I found it?) thread regarding the idea of making your own “Na’vi-style” tribe, as a lifestyle.

I read the first few pages and thought “Ha! Fun idea, but I could NEVER-” I kept reading. It took me two whole days to read the entire thing. I went from “maybe I could do it during the summers during the seasonal idea they are discussing, but I couldn’t live forever without my books-” to “I WANT TO DO THIS”.

At nineteen, I was at a standstill in life and had no idea where to go from there. All I knew before this was that I wanted to live in the countryside, but I had no idea and no help on how to make this a reality.

This was something completely new to me, that seemed extremely appealing. I had actually watched Into the Wild just a few months prior, but had no inspiration from it (maybe because it was Alaska, then completely unappealing to me, and the poor guy did starve to death).

By the time I found them, the thread had been broken off into its completely separate, non-Avatar-related forum. They were very clear that while Avatar forums is where they met and were inspired, the project was a serious thing and had nothing to do with “larping” or trying to live literally like Na’vi. The forum was called “the Revolutionists”, better name pending.

The oldest member, who also had the server to the new forum and was one of the most active members, was 37 at the time. The youngest was only 15, and I’d say the average age was around 21. We numbered around 15-20 committed members.

The knowledge was great among some of the members, talking about permaculture, water and waste systems, et cetera. A chat room was set up, and while we had some structured meet-ups in there, there was almost always someone there.

I was extremely inspired, but knew nothing, so I mostly stayed silent, read and listened. Over the next year, I consumed everything I could find regarding “tribal living” or “going back to the wild”. Even then, in 2011, the internet was a much smaller place than today, and it was very hard to find decent resources.

Eventually, in a live chat, the name “Blue Moon Tribe” was decided on for the group. “BMT” had a lot of ideas, some of which I’ll list to give an easy overview...

Permaculture, not pure hunter-gatherer, as it is not feasible today

Hunting for meat, as raising meat animals was never considered

Animals like dogs and horses would be allowed

Funding/permission for the project by allowing researchers to study us as a “social experiment”, as surely this has not been attempted before?

Firearms vs just archery were lightly debated, but as far as I remember, never settled on

Hanggliders and other means of flying were discussed quite a bit, inspired by the Na’vi “Ikran”, but put into reality by perhaps being used to survey forest for the government (essentially as another means of being permitted “stewardship” of a piece of land rather than buying it)

Permanent life, including children and birth control were discussed at some length

We would live in a firm spot, with some sort of permanent structures

An enormous piece of land would be required, due to having to live largely off of hunting - we actually never calculated this very well (how much meat/person/year, how many animals per acre, etc.), but estimated it at 1000+ acres for a reasonable size tribe of ~20 people. This was one of the two ultimate death blows of the project.

Where in the world would it be? Members lived everywhere from the US and UK to Sweden, Germany, Chile, the Philippines, and more countries. Visa requirements for anyone moving would be daunting. I really tried researching this, but it never went anywhere, and it was the second death blow to the project. Never a set location. (In hindsight, it would be best to just aim on the US and be done with it. Or two locations, one American and one European.)

I went from being a very quiet student in the beginning, to becoming one of the leaders in “keeping it going”, when things seemed difficult, by keeping writing new threads, and trying to solve our most pressing problems - money (for buying land) and where to move.

I researched almost every country imaginable, made in-depth charts of my research, and felt most like some of the more well-off Latin American countries would fit us best, like Panama, Argentina or Mexico. A problem with tropical countries is that they often ban hunting. Spain could also be a good fit.

Note that while I researched most of the world (including southern Africa and all of southeast Asia), I excluded most of Europe, as after growing up in northern Sweden with winters easily going below -20C, I thought I loved the heat. :D (Oh I learned after visiting Tbilisi in July...)

My focus wasn’t all selfish, of course, and growing seasons were much better in warmer climates. Mostly, we(!) focused on the subtropics.

But the years passed, and nothing happened. Not even the real life meeting we had discussed.

There was another group, meanwhile, that had been inspired from the same Avatar source, but had remained on its forum, Learn Na’vi - we called this the “real life Na’vi tribe”, with no official name. I was active on this forum as well, mostly to help, as I saw myself joining this project in real life unlikely, but if they succeeded first, maybe I would.

Overall, this other project was far less organized, with more “casuals” coming for a week and then leaving (both projects had this problem early on, in 2010), less structure and dare I say, less maturity. Some mature voices pitched in, but they mostly had no personal interest at all, they simply wanted help people keep their feet on the ground.

In the beginning, some really outlandish ideas were suggested, and it had a far greater focus on NA’VI RE-ENACTMENT, even though this faded in favor of... reality. Obviously no one is going to spend their entire life living like fictional aliens from a movie.

Reducing the project to a simple summer camp was discussed, as well as the idea of separating it - not in locations, but having two parallel projects in the same location. One would be the “true” tribal life, and then an ecovillage nearby for a “softer” approach. I urged them to go for the ecovillage, period,  but it was ditched altogether instead.

This group seemed less happy with having animals, even horses (though I joked to myself, “Hey, even the Na’vi have horses?”), but the focus was still on a huge plot of land for hunting.

After a few years of doing even more poorly than BMT, the entire forum category on the Learn Na’vi forum was locked, due to inactivity. The project had officially failed.

For BMT meanwhile, members kept falling away. Someone realized he didn’t want to leave his country and have to speak English for the rest of his life. Someone else found a career they wanted to focus on. Someone else joined the army. Life happened, we were mostly 18-24 year olds, and did not have as much foundation in our idea as we thought.

When I “left” in early 2015, there were maybe 3-4 of us left in a different chatroom, as our entire forum had been taken down by hackers, and it was never reinstated. (Oh how I grieve this, as while the project is dead, there were droves of great information on it. The original thread on Avatar forums that birthed the project is also gone, as the entire forum is down.)

I was clear that I didn’t leave the plans to have an off-grid lifestyle, only Blue Moon Tribe, as it was obviously dead, despite my best efforts to keep it going. (Not to give myself too much credit, I was never a “leader” of the project or by any means the most knowledgeable, but I did take upon myself the role of inspiration and keeping people’s spirits focused.)

I met some of the other members on Tree of Souls later, where there was a thread with people asking what happened with these projects. It all basically ran off in the sand, as we say in my language.

It’s been almost six years since I left, why talk about it now? Because I keep thinking about it. What happened, why it died, and what we could have done instead.

First off, I would not join this project today.

This project taught me that off-grid life was a thing, and not just a dream, but a feasible lifestyle. I had never heard of it before finding the then still unnamed Blue Moon Tribe.

I am still very actively working on my off-grid future, but it is a very different lifestyle from the one these groups planned.

During 2015, when I went complete lone wolf and planned it only for myself, I downsized and downsized until I (reluctantly) realized a few acres is all you need. Most hunters (and I still do plan on hunting) don’t own their own acreage. You can hunt for food without owning the hunting land.

While I was completely fine with hunting, I felt extremely squeamish with killing animals I raised myself. After watching enough YouTube videos, I got rid of this fear and decided to have chickens and rabbits as well. I was focusing on Spain, or perhaps Ireland or Croatia, as my off-grid destination.

Later that same year, I met my husband, a man who had dreamed of living in Alaska or the Russian far east since early childhood, and we made our plans for the future together. Our first few weeks meeting in real life were spent staying up late at night, talking for hours and hours, mainly about off-grid life.

During the years before it failed, in 2013 specifically, I found the then phenomenal (it has really gone downhill in recent seasons) TV series “Ben Fogle’s New Lives in the Wild”. So many different people who have found their “wild life”, in so many different locations and ways, from so many different backgrounds and outlooks. It is a gold mine, and I would have drooled over it even more if it existed back in 2011. It would have helped our project tremendously.

During 2011-2012, I also looked up ecovillages. Mostly just for research, to see what they were doing, but also, possibly, to join. (The existence of hundreds upon hundreds of ecovillages made our project members realize BMT’s idea was not that unique and that the “let researchers study us”-idea may not be so feasible...)

I found that, out of ~200 ecovillages I looked up around the Americas and southern Europe, at least half were vegetarian or vegan in their rules, and while the other half permitted meat-eating, not one hunted or raised meat. I found one project in Hawaii (only a single family, no one else yet) that had chickens for eggs and cows for milk, but that’s it. Lots of woo-ey spiritual retreats and that kind of thing, not a lot of long-term living.

Something I learned from New Lives in the Wild, is that while many do this alone or with their family, only a handful of these projects were “communes”, and they were mainly made up of hippie-like, transient young people coming and going. Same with my ecovillage research, I did not find a single true village with families creating a permanent existence.

So, on to my criticism of projects like these, and why they are doomed to fail without much better foundations and goals:

Unstructured/unrealistic goals, as it was the death blow of both projects. We had no real calculations on how much land we would need, for what, and how much money would be needed.

No set location from the get-go. Again, we should have just said “US”, picked a state (as there are tons of resources on this), and let that be that. At least half of the members were American.

Creating a community meant to last is hard. One kind piece of advice I saw on the Real-life Na’vi tribe was that “you won’t be able to make it work without a common spirituality”, and I, as the then diehard atheist, dismissed it straight away, but she was right. Without common cultural/racial/spiritual roots, or a spiritual common goal (”converts”, not as easy as people who have been raised in it, but better than nothing), communities like this will break up. It is just human nature. Without strong foundations in culture and spirituality, there is no “social glue” to keep you together through the decades.

As a side to the same point, most people simply can’t live in these artificial communities long-term. I know now I couldn’t, and I realized that in 2015. I am much too introverted and non-conformist to live in a “group”. We could be neighbors, but anything more than that would feel too “suffocating” for me, and conflicts would be inevitable. I’m also sure some of these members would today be on polar opposites of the political conflict, and so would be unlikely to even get along.

I believe the Blue Moon Tribe could have survived with better resources and better planning, but the major pitfall for its long-term survival (people living together for decades to come) would be its lack of “social glue”.

One of the unofficial “leaders” and the oldest member of the project, left because, as she said, she felt more attached to her homeland the older she got, and could not imagine leaving. She was ten years older then than I am today, and I feel the same way, now in my late twenties.

In my early twenties, I longed for “exotic” and “far away”. I wanted tropics or subtropics in a far away land. Cob houses.

In my late twenties, I long for rustic log cabins in the boreal habitat, as close to home as possible. I have seriously considered Chile, but aside from immigration problems, being so far away on the southern hemisphere with no boreal fauna bothered me as well. I think this is a natural progression through early adulthood.

Years ago, I thought rural Scandinavia was so boring.

Now, I watch videos of those who live this lifestyle in their ancestral village in Sweden, and weep with envy. I can never do that, not just because of the harsh winters, but because I can’t stay in Sweden for legal reasons. (A very important law that has no chance of change in the coming decades, and which makes it impossible for me to stay.)

I now live in Norway, and will probably stay here. My husband and I are currently gathering money - about halfway to our goal so far (we have only been able to actively save money for a year, so this will only take another year or two) - to buy a plot of land, perhaps inland, near the Swedish border - and live our lives there, in the woods, the way we want.

All our dreams won’t be realized, as some dreams are simply meant to stay that way, and the world is no longer free - but it will be as close to paradise as we can make it.

[turdblossommm]

Marry Me {12}

Summary: Bucky and the reader are hopelessly in love with their best friends who are getting married, where the pair first meet. Will there friendship turn into something more or will it crash and burn?

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

A/N: Thank you everyone for reading and thank you even more for following! So I’ll post a double update in honor of 500 followers!

part eleven // masterlist

“Come on!” Bucky begged you as you picked up your apartment that you’ve neglected for the holiday season “It’s going to be fun, we do this every year” He smiled

“I always do New Years by myself” You smiled 

“So you’re telling me you’ve never been kissed when the ball drops?” You shook your head and he groaned “Then you’re defiantly coming with me” 

“Nope” You threw his underwear that was handing off the side of your couch at him

“Please Clint and Nat will be there”

“Even more of a reason to not go” You smiled

“You’re mean” He pouted “You used to be nice”

“I like getting older” You smiled “I feel like I’m finally aging into my personality” You smirked and he rolled his eyes

“Please” He whispered “I haven’t had to face them on my own yet” You sighed and dropped your laundry

“All long as were plastered by mid night” You wrap your arms around is middle and smile up at him

“That is something I can promise” He kissed your nose

“You want to drive my car?” You asked and smiled as Bucky’s eye lit up

“You mean it?” You nodded as you tossed him the keys. Watching him get in the car and the smile on his face on made your stomach drop. Could you handle this? You like him past what you’re supposed to like him as. You were falling hard for Bucky Barnes and there was nothing to catch you except him.

Bucky has always been there for you since the wedding, and a huge part of you wants him to always be there. But there’s this amazing friendship you’ve formed with him and you weren’t sure of you were ready to give it up for unrequited feelings.

“You coming or what?” His Brooklyn accent broke you out of your thoughts

“Calm down bud” You smiled as you slid in the passenger seat and queued your ‘road trip’ playlist. Come and Get Your Love by Redbourn came on and a smile grew on your face as Bucky hit his head on the back of his chair

“No” He groan

“Come and get your love” You sang horrible and loudly and after many loud and out of tune song Bucky finally joined you as you approached the cabin in Montauk that they apparently always go to as a tradition 

“Welcome to cabin number seven, the only one we could afford in college” He flashed you a smile

“Y/N I’m so glad you decided to come” Peggy hugged you and you smiled

“Bucky was going to drag me by my hair if I didn’t come” You rolled your eyes as Bucky pulled your jacket off. The cabin was small but cozy, there was a small fire place in the living room with faded green shag carpet and a tiny kitchen to match.

“So we try to do a cajun boil every year and it always ends in shitty pizza” Veronica smiled

“Really?” You smiled “Are we going to this year?” You asked

“Yes, we try every year and hope that we get it” Peggy smiled

“Then we better get to the pier to get everything before the good stuffs gone” Steve entered the kitchen with Sam and Bucky behind him

“And we will when Clint and Nat get here” Peggy kissed his cheek and you groaned internally, you don’t want to see Clint, or Natasha for that matter. You were still pretty mad from Christmas

“Y/N could I talk to you?” You turned to Steve and you nodded and followed him to the sitting room

“What’s up Steve?” You asked while crossing your arms

“I want to apologize for what I said on Halloween, I’ve been meaning to do it for awhile now” He paused “I see the way he is with you and it’s good for him”

“No worries, I was quiet nasty back if I remember” You smiled

“Y/N he likes you. I’ve seen him follow Natasha like a lost puppy for years and I’ve seen him date other girls, but he’s different with you. I know you guys are just friends or whatever you’re calling it, but you’re good for him” Your mouth had suddenly gone dry

“He’s good for me too Steve” You met his eyes and he smiled and pat you on the shoulder before walking back into the kitchen. In that moment you decided when you get back to the city you were going to call the agreement off, you’re too far in his life and he’s in yours deep. Your head was swimming and you were snapped out of your thoughts by Peggy yelling your name

“Clint and Nat are here! Lets go” Her accent rang out and you walked into the kitchen, avoiding Clint’s pleading glances. Steve and Peggy joined you and Bucky in your car to the pier, Steve drooled over the car for most of the ride while you felt like you were suffocating.

“Alright let divide and concur” Steve looked at the group

“Nat and Clint you guys get the drinks. Booze, beer, and champagne” He turned to Sam “You two get the veggie” He turned to you and Bucky “Get the meat and Pegs and I will get the seasonings” Steve smiled

“Aye aye Captain” Bucky mock saluted his best friend and everyone split off to get their respected items. You and Bucky walked down to the little butcher shop, you felt at home as the smell of meat enter you nose, distracting you from your inner turmoil.

“My dad used to bring us to a butcher shop like this when we were kids” You smiled as you gazed at the assorted meats, nostalgia hitting you like a ton of bricks. Bucky smiled as you walked down memory lane, he had a feeling this would be one of the few times he’d get you on your own this weekend. Your number was called and you walked up to the counter and smiled at the middle aged man helping you

“I’ll have six pounds of your 21/25 count shrimp” 

“Six pounds?” Bucky looked at you

“You and Steve eat like you’re never going to see food again” You teased 

“Anything else?” The man asked

“I’ll also take three pounds of andouille please” Bucky carried the bag out of the shop as you two walked down the pier towards where you’re supposed to regroup. Natasha caught sight of the pair walking towards the pier, noticing Bucky’s smile. Had he ever smiled at her like that? Like she was the only person in the world?

Clint glared as you walked dangerously close to Barnes. Clint can’t decided why he’s never liked Bucky, maybe because he’s friends with Nat. But then again Clint’s never liked any of the guys that you’ve dated. Clint was still hung up on the ranch, why would you take Bucky and never him?

“Hey guys” Steve and Peggy met up with Clint and Nat just before you and Bucky made it to the small group

“Anyone heard from Sam and Ronnie?” Steve looked around as you felt Clint burn holes in the side of your head

“We’re right here” Sam and Veronica finally made it back and he group went back to the cabin. Once you got back the girls took over the kitchen while the boys helped every now and them. You dumped the shrimp in the sink while Sam and Ronnie worked on the veggies. Peggy and Steve were arguing over boiling the water outside or inside. Clint cut the sausage while Natasha watched

You looked up to Bucky who rolled up his sleeves in attempt to help you de-vane the shrimp. You showed him to peal off the shell and make a small cut and scoop the poop and intestines out.

“How did you learn to do that?” Peggy asked

“When we were hurting for money when I was a kid and my dad was in Alaska, we’d caught shrimp for dinner”

“That’s so cool” Steve muttered

“You should see this halibut she caught” Bucky bragged and pulled out his phone

“No Bucky” You giggled knowing what picture he was talking about

“Yes, it’s adorable” He continued to swipe through his pictures, Natasha tried to ignore a few risqué pictures she saw. You saw the picture and groaned, it was from when you were eight and you had both of your front teeth missing and hand-me down waiters. He continued to swipe through all your pictures

“My ma takes on every year of all of us” You shook your head looking down at the one from the trip you met Clint one. Frank stood next to you with a 500 pound halibut handing behind the pair of you. Bucky locked his phone but Clint didn’t miss the background picture of you from Thanksgiving.

“That’s some deadliest catch shit” Sam laughed while you threw the shrimp in the pot and everyone started adding their own ingredients. Bucky handed you a beer before pouring you a shot of tequila for everyone out on the patio.

“Shot gun?” You nodded and he pulled out your keys and you poked the can with your teeth and chugged the beer. You coughed while laughing with Bucky

“I haven’t done that since college” He chuckled 

“That’s a weekend at my cousin’s house” You laughed while Natasha and Clint watched, both brooding over the happier pair outside.

TAGLIST: @hailqueenconquer​ @2ptonpt​ 

[luv-surveys]

45

Have you ever started reading a book and wondered if you’d read it before? yes i have. What has been bothering you a lot lately? the fact that i’m sick and super behind on all of my homework but can’t do anything about it. What (or who) have you been missing lately? i’ve been missing home lately since i’m going home this weekend for the first time in a few months. Are you trustworthy? i’d like to believe so. Did your parents teach that white lies were ok? they never specified but i was taught that lies in general are bad. Have you ever hallucinated? yes. Do you sleep with your door open or closed? i sleep with my bedroom door open, but i sleep with my dorm door closed. What flags do you have in your room, if any? i don’t have any flags. What (or who) is the best thing that ever happened to you? i’d probably say beginning to play music in fourth grade, as that really set me down the path that i’m on right now as a student in music school. What is the worst decision you ever made? probably beginning to let my anxiety control me -- it led me down a path that i’m still recovering from, a year later. Do you miss college? no, given that i’m in college right now... Have you ever called a teacher “mom”? i once called my french teacher “mom” because i accidentally said “madame” without the d so it sounded like “ma-ame” = “mom.” What is your favorite arcade game? probably skee-ball. i used to play that all the time growing up. Do you feel neglected? no. What school subject(s) are/were your best? definitely french and english. Are you allergic to grass? no. Do you remember to water plants? no... hence why i don’t own plants anymore. What season is your birthday in? it’s in fall. Name 3 creative people you know. my friend sophie, my friend danielle, and my friend dan. Name 3 YouTubers you aspire to be like. i’d say aspen ovard, jasmine from tbhstudying, and ava jules. What color was your first car? i’ve never owned a car. What year did you graduate? i graduated this year, 2020. When was the last time you saw the person you currently have feelings for? last saturday. Have you ever been scammed? yes. Are you allergic to pollen? yes :( What style of wedding dress do you like best? probably ballgown. Are you over your first love? i’m like 90% there. Do you talk on the phone a lot? pretty often. Would you rather call or text? probably text. Do you always answer your phone? no, i only answer if i recognize the number. When was the last time you went to a party? there really haven’t been any parties since quarantine started, but my friend did have a birthday in may, so probably then. What was the last thing you ate? chicken noodle soup. What’s the last book you checked out from the library? i checked out like nine books, all young adult fantasy. Do you have a twitter? no. If so, what was the last thing you tweeted? nothing. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? the guy i’m seeing. What’s the last thing you cooked on the stove? pancakes. What color is the cover of the last notebook you used? white and gold. Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? a girl on my snap. Who sent the last e-mail you got? my flute professor responding to my email about a rental. What song is currently stuck in your head? “look what you made me do” by taylor swift Do you have a favorite shape? probably circle. What color are the sheets on your bed? at home, they’re yellow. in my dorm, they’re pink, What time do you usually go to bed? usually, i go to bed between 11 and 12. Do you ever use coloring books? no. Are you planning on watching the Olympics? when they actually happen, yes. Do you pronounce the word “often” with or without a “t” in the middle? with the t. Have you ever been on a trapeze? no. Do you enjoy popping bubble wrap? yes of course. Are there any waterfalls near where you live? no. Do you like seafood? not particularly -- i do like shrimp, though. Have you ever had to wear a uniform for anything? yes, for marching band. If so, what did it look like? it was a maroon jacket, black bibbers, black long socks, black marching shoes, white gauntlets, white gloves, and a maroon shako. and under we had to wear our tour shirts and spandex/leggings. Do you personally know anyone who is an author? yes, my dad is. Do you own a Polaroid camera? nope. Do you enjoy baking? i love baking! What’s your favorite type of flower? right now, daisies. Last time (if ever) you were on an airplane, where were you going? home from florida. Do you know anyone who is left-handed? i have a couple left-handed friends and family members. What is something you think is underrated? probably classical music. too many people think it’s boring but there are some really amazing pieces. Around what temperature do you consider it to be too hot outside? probably around 85 degrees. In what ways do you expect your life to be different one year from now? i expect covid to not be as big of an issue. How often do you travel outside of the state/province you live in? probably around once a month at most. What’s a hobby you used to have, but don’t anymore? definitely reading. i used to read all the time, and now i just don’t have the time or motivation. What has been your favorite job you’ve had so far? i’ve never had a job. What’s your favorite kind of salsa/dip to go with tortilla chips? probably guacamole. Do you wash your car by hand or drive through a car wash? i don’t have a car. Where is the farthest north you’ve traveled to? alaska. Farthest south? florida. East? russia. West? again, alaska. How often do you run the dishwasher? at my house, we run the dishwasher every night. Do you wash your face at the sink or in the shower? i wash it in the shower. Name a stereotype about your gender that you don’t fit. i don’t enjoy wearing dresses whatsoever. Name a stereotype about your age that you don’t fit. i don’t have any interest in trying drugs or smoking. Do you have any unusual decorations in your home? we have a “butler” named jeeves, a family of elephants on a window sill facing away from the front door for good luck, and a couple other things. Do you have any uncommon kitchen appliances, such as espresso machines, waffle irons, etc? we have a panini maker and other things like that. What did your parents major/minor in in college, if they went? my mom majored in psychology while my dad majored in business. Has either of their careers influenced what career you chose or want to pursue? nope. What is the highest level math class you’ve completed? precalculus. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike? probably around 7. How old were you when you learned how to swim? i’d say 10ish. How do you react when someone is rude to you? i get annoyed but try to remain sweet and kind so i don’t stoop to their level/they don’t have anything against me. Have you ever had a friend who was too clingy? yes, and it was annoying. What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? probably snowstorms/blizzards. Why is your least favorite season your least favorite? i hate winter because it’s cold and depressing. Do you have a Netflix account? yes. Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? yeah, occasionally that happens. Where is your favorite place to go on vacation? i enjoy traveling to europe since there’s so much history there. How long does it take to get there? it’d be about a six hour flight. When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? this fall when i started college. What room in your home do you spend the least amount of time in? i’d say our downstairs bathroom -- i never use that bathroom. What is the last random act of kindness you did? i can’t really remember since i’ve been alone and sick for the past few days. Do you do anything to reduce the amount of electricity you use? not really... Are you usually open to trying a new food that you aren’t familiar with? yes, but if it’s some type of body part (like liver) then no. Do you listen to Panic! At The Disco? no. Have you ever had a kinky dream about a celebrity? nope. Is there a song you can’t stop listening to atm? not currently. Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you couldn’t say it back? no. If your Facebook status doesn’t get any likes/comments, does it bother you? i never post on facebook. Which friend do you confide in most? the guy i’m seeing haha. Do you wear a cross? no. What is your opinion on Arby’s? it’s good and their fries are amazing. When you have your own kitchen, how will it be done? i’d like an island definitely, and lots of counter space. i’d want it to be an open layout too. What is your favorite doughnut? probably jelly. Do you have a hot tub? If so, where is it located? no way. Did you read the Twilight series, or jump on the bandwagon after the movie? i have never read the entire series or been interested in it. What is your favorite party game? wii party or cards against humanity. Do you or your parents rake your yard? my parents do. Were you pro-Obama? nope, but i couldn’t vote anyway. What is your favorite scent from Bath & Body Works? i think a thousand wishes?  What was the last illegal thing you did? probably speeding when i was driving. Who did you last go to the movies with? i think my sister, her boyfriend, and my ex. What color was the last vehicle you were in? white. Do you have any family members in the military right now? nope. Is there a ceiling fan in the room you’re in? no. When was the last time you wished time would move faster? during my class earlier today. Are there any owls in your room (as decor, of course)? nope. Have you ever heard voices? Audibly? no. Do you believe in angels and demons? yes. Who is the worst neighbor you have ever had? we have neighbors that accuse us of things we don’t do and get into fights with us over stupid things. Did your Barbies go on dates? yes! If you’re not straight, who was the first person you came out to? i’m straight. Where did you meet your first crush? school. Do you remember the first time your first crush ever said hi to you? nope. Do you ever go places with wet hair? occasionally, but i try not to. Who is your favorite little girl? probably my cousin. What do you want the most in life? happiness. What is a decision you’ve made that changed your entire life? my college decision. Do you ever wonder what kind of person you’d have turned out to be if a certain event never happened to you? occasionally, yeah. When you’re home alone, do you still shower with the bathroom door closed? yep, i keep it closed and locked. If you could have anyone’s singing voice, whose would you choose? maybe ariana grande. What are your top 3 favorite genres of music? classical, jazz, and electroswing. Where did you buy your dishes from? i’m pretty sure my mom gets them from williams-sonoma. Do you think Mars will be colonized in your lifetime? not in my lifetime. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought that turned out to be a waste of money? probably some type of appliance that i never use. What’s something you’ve bought that turned out to be way more useful than you anticipated? my shower shoes! Have you ever been on a ship? yeah. Do you ever take intentional breaks from checking/posting on social media? nope. Who was Van Halen’s better singer - David Lee Roth, or Sammy Hagar? i don’t know what you’re talking about lol. Which fictional character has the most memorable quotes? maybe dumbledore from harry potter? i can’t think of anyone off the top of my head. What’s a class you did not take in school, but now wish you had? forensic sciences. Have you ever been to either of your parents’ workplaces? all the time. What do you think of the ‘Healthy At Every Size’ movement/philosophy? no... not every size is healthy bruh. Have you ever been bitten so hard that their teeth marks were there after? yes. Ever been given a hickey? (Love bite) yeah. Ever gave one? nope. Are you more of an outgoing type or shy type? more shy. Do you think it’s weird if guys wear make-up like eyeliner? nah. Are you self conscious? If so what are you self conscious about? a lot, but mainly my height and paleness. Are you flirty at all? sometimes. Are you racist at all? no. Would you ever date a disabled person? (Be honest) depends on the disability, but more likely than not, no. If you found a baby randomly by itself what would you do? probably look around for parents, and if they’re not there, contact authorities. Would you rather adopt or have your own child? i’d rather have my own. What would you class as cheating on someone? purposefully seeking a romantic relationship/interaction with another person. Do you try to be politically correct? i try to. What’s your favorite kind of sea critter? maybe starfish. Have you ever tasted locally-made honey before? no. As far as earrings go, would you rather wear hoops or studs? hoops! Do you find P.E. humiliating, or think schools shouldn’t teach it? i don’t think it’s humiliating, but from my experience, i don’t know if it’s worth teaching. Do you recycle? yeah. Are you interested in current world issues? for the most part. Do you think you are mature, or immature? mostly mature. What kind of career are you interested in? i’m interested in teaching or performing music. Do you own a pair of sunglasses? yes. Do you use bobby pins, hair clips, or elastic hair ties? Which? i use all of the above. How badly do you get acne? (If at all) i barely get any acne. What’s the best way to cope with a breakup? remember all the things you hated about them and distract yourself. also, a glow-up and showing off your successes never hurts. If someone dislikes you, what is most likely to be the reason? probably because they think i’m egotistical. How many text messages do you have in your inbox atm? 72. When was the last time you had a difficult decision to make? probably deciding whether or not i should stay with the guy i’m seeing. In school, what subjects do/did you find the most difficult? math! Do you still speak to the person you had your first kiss with? not really. Where did you meet the last person you swapped numbers with? here at college. Who was the last person to add you as a friend on Facebook? a kid from my theory class. Who was the last person that asked if you were okay? my roommate, because i’ve been unhealthy. What does your handwriting look like? it’s pretty bubbly and very neat. Do you use any products on your hair, other than shampoo and conditioner? yes, i use dry shampoo and dry conditioner. Who were your best friends in primary school? lindsey. Do you still speak to any of them? nope. What was the last thing you bought from a vending machine? i think candy. What color hair did your first crush have? blond. What type of shoes do you find the most comfortable? moccasins! Are you more masculine or feminine? more feminine, definitely. If you could design your own mug, what would you put on it? something minimalist, like a tiny illustration. What is the best beach you’ve been to? the beach at ocean city, maryland. What is one thing you physically can’t do? i cannot do a pull-up, nope. Have you ever been to a funeral? yep. Have you ever visited your state’s capitol building? no. Have you ever visited your nation’s capitol building? yes. Do/did you have a favorite seat in church? yeah, the one on the left close to the front. What is your favorite park? probably six flags? or disney? Have you ever felt an earthquake? nope. Do you chew gum regularly? no. Where did you go on your first train ride? i think when i was a baby. Do you know anyone with a dual citizenship? yep. What sports teams do you root for, if any? (Extra points for Boston fans.) i don’t root for any sports teams. Do you dunk your cookies in milk? no ma’am. What is something you are confident about? my eye color. Have you ever been physically addicted to a substance? What? i’ve been addicted to afrin during colds, but i always manage to tear myself away. How do you feel about needles? they’re not great, but i’m not particularly scared of them. What is your favorite accent to listen to? i love scottish accents. What was the reason you last got dressed up? church. Have you ever been the subject of cruel rumors? not really. ^ What were they? -- Do you prefer loose or form-fitting clothing? more form-fitting. ^ What about on your preferred gender? more form-fitting as well. What do you do when you are really, really mad? i go somewhere to be alone so i can cool off. Would you rather go naked than wear fur? i’d rather wear fur, but i wouldn’t like it. Do you put a line through your 7’s? no. ^ What about your Z’s? nope. What is one thing that someone could do to you that is unforgivable? cheat on me if we’re in a relationship. Are you able to forgive and forget? it’s hard, but sometimes. Do you like cold pizza? no. What is your favorite fruit? pineapple! What about your favorite fruit juice, if it differs from solid fruit? white grape juice has my heart. Do you like broccoli and cheese? i’ve never had it but it sounds yummy. What about potatoes and cheese? oh yeah that’s good. Have you written a letter by hand, lately? To whom? yep, to the guy i’m seeing. Toaster or toaster oven? toaster. What are you most known for? being a musician haha. Do you have any reputations? What are they? i don’t believe so. Do you wear band shirts? nope. ^ What band was on the last one you wore? -- Do you own any hats? Describe them. yeah, i own a black adidas cap and a white cap. What about masks, you got any? Describe those. oh, i have plenty... thanks covid. i have a black one, a white one, a pink one, a brown one, a green camo one, and a blue floral one. What was the last thing to leave you speechless? probably my flu since it hurts to talk LOL. Do your parents like your friends? If they don’t, why not? yep. Have you been called a bad influence? no way. Describe your favorite pair of socks. i like all my pairs of black socks. Have you experienced any life-changing news, events, etc, lately? not really. Have any self-done piercings? nope. Ever pierced someone else? nooo. Do you get distracted easily? sometimes, but not if i’m focused on homework. Is talking to strangers enjoyable for you, or stressful? it’s stressful usually. How do you feel about getting new neighbors? it’s exciting! How many ceiling fans are in your home? one. Do you tweet your life away? nope. How do you feel about shameless self promoting? i don’t mind it if it isn’t too in the way. When reading words. like. this. do. you always pause after the periods? yep. What about screaming when reading something IN ALL CAPS? uh-huh.