#but I truly think owning rats just isn’t for me anymore. of all things the subtle backlash of my friends and family

[higgs-the-god]

Ok the last thing I needed rn was my animals not wanting to see me 😃

[jodilin65]

SUNDAY, AUGUST 20, 2000 Went to Mary’s yesterday and visited with her, Dave and Mom for a while. Mary and Dave were both on vacation. The house reeked and I had a hard time breathing, but it was still nice to get out and see them. Mary was out getting pizza when we arrived. I only had a few bites of Tom’s pizza, cuz I knew I was gonna be having KFC.

Mom seemed less shaky but huge! She was so bloated with water cuz of diabetes.

I was brave enough to be in the house with Pepper this time and even patted him, too. As Tom said, he really seems to like me a lot. This time I remembered to take the camera and shot a few dozen pictures of everybody, plus the dog and birds. I’ll put a couple of pictures on each envelope back when I send my letters.

I kind of wish we’d brought our suits so we could go swimming, but it’s not like we have 5 or more years to wait for our own pool.

Mary said that the house next door was bought a couple of months ago and that they’re quiet and they like that. I was thinking to myself – you are so lucky! If it had been us living here, the new neighbors would be anything but quiet.

Tom and Mary did some stuff with the computer and phones, and Mary was kind enough to give Tom a modem. He got his working, but he still wants to put one on my computer, even though I don’t go online anymore.

The best part of the visit, I must selfishly admit, was that we may be getting the big screen TV Dave won in a raffle at work!! I don’t know when we’ll get it or if we’ll get it for sure, but it sure would be nice to have. We’ll have to rearrange a bit to fit it in nicely, but it’ll be worth it. If we get it, I’ll then describe where we put it and how I rearranged, etc. Dave’s son Mike is now 18 and so they’re rearranging their house. He’s going to college now and isn’t staying there every weekend anymore.

I was shocked to find out a couple of things about Dave. First, he read my story. I thought only Mom and Mary read it. Second, he’s 47. I could’ve sworn he was in his late 30s.

After KFC, we got bingo tickets at Circle K and a few other things. Jennifer cut her hair and it looks absolutely pitiful! It’s thick, wavy and one length to her neck that sticks out in a funny way. Anyway, one card won a couple of bucks.

Today we’re making a wooden burrow for the rats, then come late afternoon/early evening, I’ll be in for another round of incredibly boring, predictable cumless sex.

Later…

We do one of two things in bed – we either have a cumless screw, or a no screw. Today was a no screw. I just couldn’t get him hard enough and into it, and as usual, he was too OK with it. Not a shred of frustration on his part.

I should’ve known better, too. It was too early in the day (2:00) and he was acting too eager and playful about getting together like he had some trick up his sleeve. The trick was an old one - to make sure he didn’t go in there so he could get off on any negative feelings I felt by it, but I’m beyond any negative feelings anymore. If that’s the only way to please him and to keep him happy, comfortable and content, then so be it. Let him play his games. He’s normal in one respect; that a man always thinks of himself only when it comes to sex. To hell with pleasing the woman. It’s not like he wouldn’t go down on me if I asked him to, but I just don’t desire to get off by him. I don’t want to get off by anyone who doesn’t want to get off by me. His silly little fears, coupled with his desire to play games and turn me off, really do turn me off. He even made a comment after he “tried” to get in there (he probably already got off in the shower) saying, “You look so bored,” (gee, I wonder why?) and he seemed to take such delight in the idea of that. He’s turned on by my being turned off, I swear! If it were me, I would want to do all I could to please my wife, if I truly loved her, and I wouldn’t want to risk her straying or leaving altogether, no matter how sure I was she’d stick around no matter what. But he’s gotta do what he’s gotta do and no one can change him. He is how he wants to be. Yes, sex is definitely better between two women. With women, they’re coming from common ground, they know what each other likes/wants, and they know exactly what to do and how to do it. One also can’t be afraid of impregnating the other. It’s like two people communicating in English, versus an English-speaking person trying to communicate with a French-speaking person. Men and women simply clash in bed. Certainly not to the degree that we do, but all I can do is live with it. I love Tom too much to cheat on him or dump him just because he sucks in bed. We all have our fears and our areas in life where we’re selfish and think of ourselves only. It could be worse. He could have the appetite most males do, wanting sex nearly every day. That’d drive me crazy! Even with a gorgeous woman. I have a whole week before I have to endure his very old shit again, but next time he’ll probably let himself inside.

The well quit working momentarily yesterday for no apparent reason, the second bath’s toilet leaked, and now its outlet is dead. Now, I know we’re cursed with electrical and plumbing stuff regardless, but why do I fear this is a warning sign from God? One saying, “I’m not gonna just let you have a nice big TV. Take that TV and watch out!”

I fear this shit we’ve been through with the problems/breakage is a taste of what’s to come should we get that TV.

Upon coming home yesterday, we saw a buzzard circling around the front. Those are big, too. They make pigeons seem small. When they circle an area it means something’s died or they’re waiting for it to die so they can eat it. We searched the area and after a while of looking, we smelled a foul smell and saw grayish fur – probably a rabbit that was killed by a coyote.

Today there were lots of quails roaming around looking for food. I finally relented and threw out some seeds, but by then they were gone. They’re pigeon size.

Tom made the rat burrow and he did it fast, too. It’s a simple, yet clever design; two boards nailed together in a V-shape so they can get in and out either end. It’s about 5” tall and 15” long.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 18, 2000 The dark red car blasted up Meadow Green this morning at 10:00. Actually, I heard it long before it came into view, but it turned its music off right before it hit Meadow Green. Anyway, that’s every day this week I’ve had to hear someone else’s music, except for one day. So, my pre-moving predictions are right on so far – getting noisier with time. The only difference is that the noise can’t get a few feet up to the house. As powerful as these stereos continue to get, though, it won’t matter. 100,000 feet will seem like 3 feet.

Still no call from Paul. He better call by the 7th.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 16, 2000 I burned my forearm yesterday on the stove. Yesterday it was a red splotch that stung, and today its puffiness burst and oozed and stung some more. After putting ointment on it, Tom wrapped it in gauze so I don’t keep rubbing against it.

Tom came up with a great idea for the front of the house. We both agreed it looks boring as is. It’s just dirt and weeds. But we don’t want to plant too much too close to the house and attract more bugs and shit like that. His idea is to build a mound of dirt that slowly slopes up towards the windows. That’ll lift the p-dogs up and make them easier to see. We still want to plant little things alongside the front, but we’ll have to have it completely covered with chicken wire, so no animals eat what we plant.

Had a blast playing with Houdini earlier. He makes Scuttles seem like he hated me. It’s so obvious that this rat really loves me. You can see the affection in his eyes. I sure do love him! He’s the best rat I’ve ever had and so much fun to play with. He was out for a long time earlier. He hopped into his house a few times, though, to get a drink or play with Ratsy, but he really wanted to be out playing tonight, that’s for sure. Ratsy came to the door, but as usual, didn’t come out. Meanwhile, Houdini had a blast running around his usual spots within his territory, playing with the spare piece of carpet in the corner, and with me. He was in and out of my hair and up and down my shirt. He’s so cat-like. Just like a cat likes to sneak up on you and to be chased, he’d start to follow me when I’d head into the kitchen, then I’d chase him back, and back and forth we went several times.

The mice are the usual – fun to watch, but that’s about it. They don’t want to play with us and are quite timid. Some are braver than others, but for the most part, they’re nervous and just want to be left alone. With mice, you feed them, enjoy setting up their cages in different ways, and just sit back and watch them live their lives. Rats may also run on wheels and sleep in tubes, but they want the house as their playground and they love human companionship. Houdini’s afraid of Tom, though, since he’s not the one who feeds him, changes his cage, and plays with him. Whenever I put him on Tom’s lap, he jumps over to mine. It’s neat having this one animal who loves you and only you.

I began scanning signs from my old sign language book. They have some really neat animated sign dictionaries online.

We spoke to Mary today and let her know we plan on stopping by this Saturday. She won 10,000 nickels at a casino. Yeah, she’s got a definite blessing there. We all have our blessings as well as our curses. Just like I’m blessed with Tom, I’m cursed with sex. I also doubt we’ll ever make the $60,000 or so a year that Mary and Dave make, combined with the rent Ma gives them. I think we’ll always be close to the $20,000 range, but it sure beats $7,000 a year from SSI and SS! We’ll accumulate more money with time, I’m sure, but by then things will be more expensive, so it’ll even out and not make much of a difference. It’s not that I don’t want to work so we can have a second income, even if the money’s not great, but what can I do? It’s got to be something at home where transportation isn’t an issue and where I don’t have to deal with stupid assholes regularly. I may write stories well, but what I write isn’t all that impressive. I just don’t have the motivation and the skill needed to make it as a writer, and you know God would never let me do anything I chose to do. Fine then, but can’t he just pick something suitable enough for me to settle upon? I’ll settle for stuffing envelopes if it’d bring a few extra hundred a month.

Saying I’m gonna quit doll collection is easier said than done. Much much easier said than done. Especially with the poster ad I received from Ashton-Drake today. Hey, I can’t imagine never having any more dolls any more than I can imagine never having any more rodents. The only way I’d quit the dolls and rodents would be if we had a kid and I know that’s not going to happen. I wouldn’t keep rodents and collecting dolls even if we had the money for me to keep collecting and support a kid anyway if that had been meant to be. Why keep rodents I would no longer have time to care for and why collect more breakables for the kid to break?

Anyway, dolls are what I love and a kid will never be an issue, so that’s what I’m going to stick to. If I decided never to buy anything, I wouldn’t have anything to look forward to. As Tom said, that’s what life’s all about – looking forward to things, getting things, etc. I may not be able to get all the dolls I want and as often as I want, but at least I know I can look forward to getting them as soon as we can. I just wish Houdini could last forever like my dolls, as long as none of these dolls break, that is. If I could go back in time to when I got my first doll, which was Anne, and make myself not interested in collecting dolls, then I would, simply because dolls aren’t cheap, but I can’t do that so there’s no point in wishing I could.

What came in the mail was a set of 4 gorgeous Indian dolls. There are two in particular that I hope to get, but I still want Marissa most of all, who I think is a Latina (I love off-brands when they’re dolls!), and I still hope to get an oriental doll and a redhead, too. I only got a poster of one, though. The others were drawn on the back of the poster. I guess they’re not made yet. One has her arms raised as if she just set a dove, who flies above her, free. The dove is attached to her hand by a thin wire you can only see close up. It’s not sitting on her wrist with ties attached to it which are then tied around her wrist, like one of my musical dolls. She’s barefoot, as they all are in this series, in a nice dress with lots of detail; feathers, fringes and beads. I was shocked to find these dolls a little cheaper than Sacajawea and Pine Leaf when they aren’t so detailed. They have less porcelain than the series dolls, too. Anyway, the other doll I like holds a fiery torch over her head with both hands and has a long braid wrapped in a really cool way at the end that’s hard to describe. I guess it’s wrapped with a thin piece of leather and it crisscrosses at the end like ballet slipper ties.

I also decided I definitely don’t want a mural in the office. I want mostly doll posters in there. Instead, the mural will go in the living room by the rats, and in the bedroom, as originally planned.

Heard a boom car stereo for a few minutes towards the north at 8:30, but at least they skipped a day. I didn’t hear any music yesterday.

[byunmyeon]

Metanoia

↳ pairing: lee suho x reader

↳ synopsis: this is the sequel to philophobia. the world of red strings is one you haven’t been able to see for a long time, and now that you’ve found your unwilling soulmate, you have no interest in regaining that sight.

↳ warnings: language, angst, angst, and more angst, mentions of depression, mentions of death

— note: due to popular demand, here’s part two!

Something was wrong.

There wasn’t some pivotal event or action that made Suho conscious of the shift, he just knew. This premonition could’ve been assessed as an erroneous inkling that emanated from the vast rift between you two, but you hadn’t given any indication that the lack of recognition from your soulmate was the cause. In fact, you seemed perfectly content with disregarding Suho’s existence.

An entire month had gone by since you confronted him, and the entire situation had passed without further incident. Neither one of you had spoken since that ill-fated day.

However, it was impossible not to notice the drastic change in your character. The way you smiled was different in a way that seemed off, and there was also a certain enervation constantly embracing you. But the biggest difference was your lack of interest in just about anything. Suho might’ve thought it had everything to do with him, but again, there was no clear indication of that.

Nonetheless, ignoring you didn’t make him unaware of the unnamed sensation that had latched itself onto him since then.

It’s not like Suho wanted to notice the contrast in your behavior, but it was something he couldn’t help. Every time you came within a ten meter radius, his eyes would compulsively find their way over to you. Suho was always careful to not get caught staring, although it hardly mattered. It’s not like you looked in his general direction anymore. And even when you did happen to meet his gaze, it was for a fleeting moment that passed by so quickly that it couldn’t even be considered a full second.

Your uncharacteristic disposition made him worry. Not for you, but for him. Suho was deeply concerned that you might expose your shared secret in an abrupt moment of anger and hurt. That’s all it was. Nothing more, nothing less.

To his relief, that moment never came.

Even in the face of all the hurtful things he had said and done, you didn’t mention to Jugyeong that Suho was your soulmate. It was a development he hadn’t expected. Sure, you had told him, no, promised him that you would keep silent about the string that bounded you two together, but he was convinced that you could easily change your mind whenever you felt like it. You hadn’t.

Truthfully, your selfless act made him develop a fondness for you. Suho hadn’t expected you to be so understanding and considerate since it seemed like you were genuinely hurt that he didn’t care to acknowledge the bond between you two. That was the part he still couldn’t wrap his head around. You ignored the red string that tied you two together since the day you transferred without any qualm. Your actions convinced him that you wanted nothing to do with the soulmate bond, with him.

“What’s up with Y/N?” Taehoon wondered one day as he set his lunch tray beside Suho’s. “She isn’t looking so good these days.”

The rest of the group agreed.

“Maybe we did something to upset her.” Jugyeong said with a worried frown. Her pretty eyes drifted over to the lonely girl who was currently picking at her food. “She hasn’t wanted to hang out with us since we finished our exams.”

Suho let his own gaze fall over to you. It was true that you had kept your distance since before he officially asked Jugyeong out, but he didn’t think his girlfriend would care too much since you two weren’t that close to begin with. Seeing her so upset didn’t sit well with him.

Maybe he could convince you to start hanging out with Jugyeong and the rest of the group more often. Yes, that’s exactly what he would do. After all, doing him one more favor wouldn’t kill you.

Most people would say that you made a mistake for letting Suho go. Among those people would be your very own mother. You didn’t even want to think about what would happen if she came to find out that you gave up your soulmate without putting up a fight. It wasn’t something you were necessarily proud of, but you weren’t ashamed of your decision. Okay, so maybe refusing to acknowledge your other half wasn’t right or even sane, but you felt comfortable with your decision.

Well, that wasn’t exactly right.

The reality of your soulmate easily ignoring the string he could see was heart-wrenching. More often than not, seeing him and Jugyeong together would cause a stabbing pain in your chest. It would last no more than a second, but it was agonizing enough to have you regretting your righteous choice.

As time when on, the pain worsened and would prolong itself to the point where it became difficult to breathe. There were even instances where black dots would cloud your vision and had you feeling extremely lightheaded. Those times, however, were nothing compared to the occasions when you came close to fainting. Deep down you knew it was because there was a severe imbalance weaved in the depths of your bond.

But you couldn’t be bothered to truly acknowledge it.

Who needed a soulmate anyway?

There had always been an indescribable tension when you were around Suho. Before, you had wrote it off as nerves from being around someone who was as prickly as he was attractive. That was before you knew the truth, of course. You two had never been close, and after finding out that he was the one on the other end of your red string, you were sure you never would be.

Which is exactly why you couldn’t figure out the reason he suddenly came up to you while you were sitting outside on one of the lone benches. He didn’t hesitate to sit next to you, the action coming naturally like it was something he did everyday.

“Jugyeong says you haven’t hung out with her in a while.” Suho said in a slow drawl. “Is it because of me?”

You wished you could’ve scoffed and told him that the world didn’t revolve around him, but you couldn’t. Because even if the world didn’t, yours did.

“I haven’t been feeling well lately.”

It was the truth. Your chest pains were only getting worse as the days went on. It was hard enough to hide it from your mother, you didn’t need the pressure of also hiding it from your classmates.

Suho didn’t seem the least bit concerned for your not-so-well-being, and it had a familiar ache nipping at your heart. You longed to see his face change with even the tiniest bit of emotion. Just so you could feel, even for a fleeting moment, that the bond wasn’t one-sided. After seeing the indifference he looked at you with, you decided to look straight ahead to spare yourself any further heartache.

“Being alone won’t make you feel any better.”

It couldn’t make you feel any worse.

Suho frowned when he saw your unchanging expression. He could never get used to the blank nothingness of it. Not when your joyful expressions had once lit up an entire room.

“I thought you’d be happy that I’m staying away from Jugyeong.” You finally said, still unwilling to look at him.

It made him happier than he cared to admit, but it didn’t make her happy. The entire point of talking to you was to bring Jugyeong the same amount of happiness she’d brought him. If it meant having to swallow his pride and ask you for yet another favor, then so be it.

“She thinks she did something to upset you.” Suho explained. “So I came to ask you to start talking to her again—as a favor.”

His impassive attitude made you feel crestfallen. You knew he couldn’t care less about the bond, about you, but it still hurt to see that he didn’t care to spare your feelings at all. It took everything in you to respond in a strong, calm tone.

“And you’re okay with me talking to her again?”

“I’m fine as long as you stick to our agreement.”

You nodded slowly, pensively. If it would make Suho happy, then you would do it.

“Okay.”

That was his cue to leave, but he found himself unwilling to do so. Immediately, Suho assumed it was because your souls were intertwined with one another which, in turn, fueled the natural instinct to be close to you. That had to be it.

Suho cleared his throat and stood up. “I’ll see you around.”

Sitting across a psychiatrist was something you never thought you would have to do again. And yet, you found yourself sitting across from the infamous Dr. Kwon. The aforementioned doctor was known worldwide for his trailblazing research on the enigmatic soulmate bond. His fame soared when he revealed that he had successfully treated people who were rejected by their soulmates. For an entire year, it was all anyone could talk about.

And like a moth to a flame, your mother was quick to reach out to his office and make an appointment for a consultation. There was a five month waiting list for this, and now it was finally your turn to meet with the prestigious psychiatrist, much to your dismay.

“There’s no need to feel nervous,” he said kindly when he noticed your uncomfortable posture. “Anything you tell me will stay between the two of us.”

You had heard the same thing countless times, but the words always seemed disingenuous no matter who they came from. Even if Dr. Kwon had treated people who had soulmate problems, you were sure that he’d never met someone like you. His eyes were kind, but you didn’t know whether you could trust him. Plenty of the other specialists had also been kind at first until they realized that treating you like a lab rat would lead to a life of fame and fortune.

“Your mother tells me that you were unofficially diagnosed with philophobia. She believes the cause of your condition is due to the fact that you are unable to see your string of fate.”

You weren’t surprised that your mom had told him everything about you already. She had made the same mistake with all the other doctors and therapists. You could deny it, but you figured if you were to become a lab rat, you couldn’t be in better hands.

“She also mentioned that you haven’t been yourself lately.”

Shit. You hadn’t thought that your mom had caught onto your behavior. The simple thought of her finding out the secret you were desperately trying to keep hidden made your stomach twist with panic.

Your shrug was uncommitted as you fought to control your expression. “She’s thought that since I told her I couldn’t see my string anymore.”

Dr. Kwon hummed. “Your mother is convinced that a severe trauma led you to lose the sight of your string. Would you mind telling me about that?”

You clutched the sleeves of your uniform as a way of comfort. Talking about that was something you never wanted to do. Somehow, spending an entire year repeating the story to countless specialists never helped you get over it. Despite that, you knew your mother wouldn’t forgive you if you didn’t make the effort to “get better.”

“Around the time I turned eleven, I found out that my parents were getting a divorce.” You began. There was a harsh edge to your words that you couldn’t control. “They were soulmates, but my dad said that he didn’t love my mom anymore.”

Dr. Kwon nodded, encouraging you to go on.

“This one day, he decided to drive me to school instead of letting me take the bus. On the way there he told me about this woman he’d met like I’d actually be happy for him or something. I got so angry that I just– I just snapped.”

It was silent for a moment before you continued.

“I told him that I hated him. That I would never forgive him for hurting my mom.” You swallowed thickly. “That was the last thing I said to him before we got into a car accident. He died on the way to the hospital.”

You didn’t realize that the moisture in your eyes was dripping down your face until Dr. Kwon handed you a tissue. He didn’t say anything for a while, and it surprised you. Most of the specialists you had seen couldn’t keep their thoughts to themselves after hearing your story.

“It’s not your fault.” Dr. Kwon said. “You feel an extreme guilt, but you shouldn’t. We all say things we don’t mean, and parents know that better than anyone.”

His words were comforting, but his kind expression was marred when he started speaking like a doctor. You only half-listened to Dr. Kwon, not interested in his spiel about how making an attempt to picture your string might help. If only he knew that over the better part of your early adolescence, visualizing that stupid red string was all you did.

You hadn’t realized that your time with him was nearly over until he started writing on his clipboard. It made you feel relieved, in a way. But there was still one thing you needed. You couldn’t leave without asking him about the one thing that had been weighing on your mind.

“Doctor,” your voice was hesitant. “You’ve treated patients whose soulmates rejected the bond, right?”

“That’s right.”

“Has… Has anyone ever died from being rejected?”

Dr. Kwon shook his head. “Most of them complained about chronic chest pains, but they faded over time after they got used to being away from their soulmate.”

You swallowed thickly. That’s not what you were hoping to hear.

“So, if someone were to constantly be around the person who rejected them… it could be fatal?”

This time, you caught the subtle narrowing of his eyes. Shit. He was onto you. “Is there a reason you’re asking me this?”

“I’m just curious. You’re the only doctor who’s come close to figuring out the real effects of rejecting the bond.”

He didn’t seem convinced, but answered you anyway. “It’s possible, but I can’t be certain since I haven’t had a patient who was willing to be around their soulmate after being rejected.”

You nodded, not liking the ugly feeling in your chest.

“I’m willing to keep working with you.” He said, seemingly not interested in the motives behind your questions. “Hopefully, we can reverse your condition.”

“I have no intention of seeing the string again.”

Dr. Kwon was taken aback. “Y-You don’t? Why?”

Because I already found my soulmate and he loves someone else. The truth was on the tip of your tongue, but you knew you couldn’t tell him.

“I just don’t.”

The first time you went an entire day without experiencing the chest pains was the same day you spent an entire lunch period with Suho.

Since the back of the school was now tainted with horrible memories, you could no longer go back there to find solace. Now your new designated safe space was the school’s rooftop. You were content with listening to music and feeling the warm breeze on your skin. It was also extremely private, which meant that if you did experience the chest pains, no one would see.

Your eyes were closed in blissful peace when you suddenly felt a presence beside you. Unaccustomed to the sudden company, you jumped with shocked fear. Once you saw that it was Suho who was sitting next to you, your heart was racing for an entirely different reason. He hadn’t said much. Unexpectedly, he asked you what you were listening to.

That’s how you found out you shared the same taste in music.

The second time you went an entire day without feeling the chest pains was the day you stumbled on a crying Suho.

He was completely overcome with grief that he didn’t seem to care that he was in the middle of the hallway. You quietly took him to the roof where he collapsed on you. The way he clutched onto you reminded you of an inconsolable child—fearful and in need of comfort. You listened to him as he told you about his late friend and his battle with depression.

Your heart ached with every word he told you, but if countless hours of therapy had taught you anything it was that venting could do wonders for the soul. Eventually, his sobs turned into sniffles. He hadn’t let go of you and vice versa.

After that, Suho didn’t say anything and neither did you. Unbeknownst to the either of you, the connection between you two had gotten stronger. There was an inexplicable congruity between you now, one that allowed you to understand and empathize with each other’s feelings.

You two never mentioned it again, but something shifted after that day.

It had been a month since you last felt the scathing pain. Now it was only a tolerable discomfort that you grew used to. You and Suho weren’t close, he still had his girlfriend, but now there were these moments that you experienced every so often. Ones that seemed more intimate than any relationship you could ever have. Those times were the happiest you’d felt in years.

“Things are pretty serious between Suho and Jugyeong.” Soo-ah said when you two entered the lunch room. “He wants her to study abroad with him after graduation.”

This was news to you, and that familiar discomfort soon settled on the left side of your chest. In spite of knowing that nothing had changed, you still felt like a complete fool. How could you be so delusional? Suho had only been kind to you a handful of times, and you were sure it had only been out of pure instinct. It had been because the link between you two had pushed him to do it.

Suddenly, the discomfort grew into that familiar, unwelcome stabbing pain, one greater than all the others you had felt so far. You let out a loud cry, the high-pitched noise sounding horrifying even to your own ears. The dizziness never came this quickly, but now it was clouding your senses within seconds. It had you stumbling into Soo-ah, and you grabbed ahold of her sleeve to try to steady yourself. You could see her mouth moving, but her words were muted. Oh no.

The pounding in your head and the sharp pains in your chest came in waves. It didn’t take long for the dark spots to appear. Fuck.

The last thing you remembered was seeing Soo-ah and a gathering crowd above you before darkness overcame you.

“Y/N.”

The distant sound of your name being called was enough to have you slowly opening your eyes. Your vision was blurry and unfocused. All you could make out was being in a brightly lit place that had you wincing. Where were you?

In the next second, you felt a pair of arms wrap around you. The familiar scent of your mom’s perfume made you relax.

“How are you feeling?”

It was a man’s voice who asked the question, and you nearly choked on your own spit when you saw Dr. Kwon standing beside the hospital bed. His presence shocked you since you had only met him once and weren’t officially his patient. However, you managed to assure him that you felt fine.

For a second, you thought everything would be fine. After all, there was no technology that was capable of determining that your collapse was related to your fractured soulmate bond. That is, until Dr. Kwon decided to speak up.

“You’ve met your soulmate, haven’t you?”

It wasn’t really a question. Your panicked eyes fell over to your mom. The look she gave you had you wincing. Fuck.

“What!? Y/N—”

“Mom,” you said, panicked. “It’s not– I don’t—”

“I’ve spoken with the doctor who treated you. She said that there’s been an enormous strain on your heart.” His voice had an underlying hardness that tipped you off on the anger he was feeling. “That’s why you asked me about my patients the other day, isn’t it?”

You remained silent, and it gave him his answer.

“You know who your soulmate is. They rejected the bond, but you haven’t. That’s why your chest pains have gotten worse.”

Before you could try to refute any of his claims, your mother went crazy.

“Who is it!?” She yelled. “Tell me right now so I can tell him to stop hurting my daughter!”

You attempted to calm her down, but your attempt was in vain. There was no possible way to settle her emotions. Not when her worst fear had been realized. You tried to ease her mind by reassuring her that you would go away in order to receive treatment from Dr. Kwon, not realizing that Suho was standing outside the room and heard everything.

Dr. Kwon managed to calm your mother down and convinced her to take a walk with him. It was late in the evening now, and you felt extremely relieved to finally be left alone with your thoughts. You got all of two seconds of contemplation because in the next second, Suho pulled the door open and walked into your room.

He didn’t say anything at first, but his face was the picture of tortured. You furrowed your eyebrows, unable to understand why he seemed so distraught.

“You’re dying.” Suho’s voice trembled. “Because of me.”

The fact that he somehow found out went over your head. You wished you could say no. No it’s not because of you. But you couldn’t. Trying to reassure him would’ve been futile. He knew. You both did. The urge to cling onto the severed bond would be fatal if you didn’t get help. Despite knowing all that, you wished to ease his pain. You could’ve laughed at your own foolishness because right now it was you who was laying in the hospital bed.

“I won’t die.” You told him feebly. “I’ll leave. Once I get used to being away from you, I’ll be okay. We can both live normal lives.”

Suho wanted to tell you that he didn’t want you to leave. That his life hadn’t ever been normal, and he was fine with that as long as you could be part of it.

“You didn’t reject the bond. Why?”

You looked up at the white ceiling. The tears were pooling in your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. There was no point in hiding it anymore. Not when you were hospitalized because of him.

“I can’t see my string.”

Your confession hung in the air like a dark cloud. It was silent before you decided to continue with your revelation.

“I haven’t been able to see it since I was thirteen.” You tried to swallow the lump in your throat. “That’s why I didn’t acknowledge you when we first saw each other. I didn’t know.”

The candor of your words had Suho staggering back. It felt like someone shoved a blade straight through his heart. Finally, everything made sense. It’s not that you weren’t interested in your soulmate, it’s that you hadn’t known he was right in front of you. He couldn’t stop the tears from gathering in his eyes. What had he done?

“I’ve always wanted to meet my soulmate.” You confessed, feeling a bit embarrassed. “Even after I found out that it was you and you didn’t feel the same way, I never wished that I hadn’t met you. I never wished that the bond didn’t exist.”

You knew he couldn’t say the same since the evidence of just how much he didn’t want the bond was displayed in your current physical state.

“You should leave,” you told him even though the words pained you greatly. “My mom will get suspicious if she sees you.”

Only a small piece of your heart broke when he listened to you.

When Jugyeong and Suho broke up, it was the talk of the entire school. You yourself couldn’t make sense of the sudden separation, but you told yourself that it didn’t matter because it wasn’t any of your business.

You only said goodbye to a handful of people when the last day at Saebom High came around. Your short stay at the school didn’t give you an opportunity to make many friends, and it’s not like you truly wanted to remember your experience at the school.

Before you could walk through the front gates toward your new life, you were stopped by the sound of your name being called.

“Y/N!”

You turned, feeling your eyes widen when you were suddenly wrapped up in your soulmate’s warm embrace. His sudden change in attitude shocked you so much that you weren’t sure how to react.

“Don’t leave me. Please.”

For the first time since you’d met Suho, you felt no need to placate him. After everything that happened, you couldn’t go back on the promise you made to your mother. You needed to get better. Not for Suho, but for yourself.

“I’m sorry.” You were sincere. “This time, I’m leaving you behind.”

He pulled back. The pain in his eyes was another strike to your chest, but you knew you couldn’t give in.

“Goodbye, Lee Suho.”

[hotwings0203]

Yandere ghost or demon aizawa breaks Legs of exorcist darling and possesss their body to get them to sin or they are sacrifice by cult?

Let’s go with demon here since ghosts aren’t technically tangible in a lot of AUs

“H-hello? Anyone in here?”your wobbily voice echoes in the catacombs.

Your own voice comes back to you as if mocking your terror.

A lone rat scurries out from behind your feet and you shriek to the heavens as the water splashes around your shoes. You drop your flashlight in the muddy abyss, and with one last flicker, you’re left in complete darkness, save the randomly lit torches on the walls.

20$ for this was not worth it.

Your friends knew you were squeamish when it came to these things, but after an hour long horror movie of you screaming at small jump scares and hiding your face behind annoyed friends’ arms, they knew you had to get over this irrational fear once and for all.

Ghosts aren’t real. Demons aren’t real, you chant to yourself, but yet your arms still become locked by your shoulders as if protecting anything that might shoot by your head, your legs are still shaky as if you just ran a 5k marathon and not climbed a flight of stairs underneath the city grounds.

Clinging to the wall, you try to retrace your steps and head back above ground. But you find that it’s easier said than done, because all the massive tunnels are the exact same-echoing with creaks and groans of god knows what, and completely pitch black.

Except for one.

The tunnel to your left is lit up by a couple of rusted holders. It looks more promising than the other ones, but unlike the ominous sounds from the other paths, this one is surprisingly silent.

You hope for the best, and tread on through the gaping entrance. There’s significantly less rats and roaches here which you find to your immense relief.

Until it isn’t relief anymore, but rather a strange foreboding sensation.

Everywhere you went had at least tiny spiders scuttling around, and water droplets dripping in harmony. So where were they now?

In fact, when you look down at your feet from the lack of sound, you find that the water has dried up and your footsteps don’t even echo on the stone ground.

And then, after hesitantly treading forward for about 15 meters more of endless hall, you see it.

A dim red light, much similar to the ones on the wall. If you squint hard enough, it looks like a wall of flames in the dead center of the tunnel.

You find that your feet start moving rapidly toward it, as if an unknown force was pulling you by force.

You start to panic and will yourself to stop or walk backwards, but to no avail. Your body breaks out into an almost jog and in no time, you’ve come face to face with the narrow room.

The walls truly were made of flames, but rather than envelope the whole room, the merely stay there and wave their little hands in silence, beckoning you forwards.

It isn’t the flames that scares you. It’s the figure sitting towards the front of the fire-engulfed room, slouching easily on the dirt floor.

From its back you see ragged black hair that reaches to his shoulders, a greyish-black tunic draped over its body and long arms.

You think it’s a regular man, but a regular man wouldn’t just sit in a flaming room almost two hundred feet below the city, sweltering in the catacombs.

“Um…excuse me…”

You take a step forward and cautiously clear your throat.

The man doesn’t respond.

“Hello? Are you alright…sir..?”

A low growling sound comes from the figure when you’re merely 5 feet away. Your outreaches hand freezes and your eyes widen. No human should be able to make a sound as deep and inhuman as the one it just made.

The thing slowly starts to stand.

But instead of a smooth rising motion, it looks like it’s humanoid limbs slacken and drag against the ground before tightening in their sockets and rising up, up, and above to almost 7 feet.

Your mouth opens in horror as you retreat in almost slow motion.

The thing has no real face, just red smoldering eyes that darken almost to black as it’s gaze trains on you, it’s arms start stretching out towards you as it’s fingers curl into long claws.

It’s hair starts to frazzle with the increasing temperature of the room, the fire swelling as it’s eyes glow, as it’s wide mouth opens to reveal a slobbering, red tongue and rows of shark-like teeth.

“Where are you running off to, mortal? Weren’t you going to stay and ask if I was alright? I know you humans are big on manners, so come kneel down and service me.”

You let out a strangled sob as you windmill backwards, and fall unceremoniously to the door mere inches away from the fire.

“Oh? You want to play with fire? Don’t worry pretty morsel, there’s much more of that where I’m from.”

He raises a clawed foot-no, a clawed hoof is more like it- and slams it down on both your legs.

You vomit as the white-hot pain sears through your muscles, tearing through your bone and every cell that comes underneath the demon’s crushing.

Your body goes slack as you pant, almost paralyzed on the floor as you fight for consciousness.

The thing steps closer and kneels over your body.

“And now…the fun I have waited eons for”

He leans closer to you, but instead of his body keeping physical contact with yours, it starts to warp and vanish like smoke towards your face. Throughout the entirety of his vessel claiming yours, a weird dizzy sensation colonizes the pain from your legs.

The fire rages on around you, bigger than before, almost roaring now.

And then, it all stops.

You catch your breath and looks around quickly.

He’s not in sight.

You slowly rise to a sitting position-wait a minute, rise?

Your legs are intact, no longer at a broken angle. What just happened?

But when you raise your hand to inspect your body, it moves with your intention and slaps you square across your face.

“Ow! What the f-“

“You move when I tell you to.”

The voice comes inside of of you, yet your mouth doesn’t move.

“Stand up.”

Your lips seal by themselves as your healed legs wobbily make their way up, your heart beating rapidly as you turn to face the front wall of fire.

“And now. Now you will walk, and service my people. Use your body as their outlet, for they have pleased me greatly in their efforts of bringing a pretty mortal for my enjoyment.”

And as your body takes you headfirst into the caving wall of fire, the city above you rages with the same hues of flames that sear your flesh underneath.

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (April 26/2021) - L’Sandburg

Foolish and Puffy are both reeling from the events of the Red Banquet. Foolish confronts a familiar foe in his mind while Puffy works through her grief.

After Foolish’s lore, Bad, Antfrost, Purpled, HBomb and Foolish get involved in a new conflict, as Bad declares his  walled-off tollbooth on Foolish’s road a new nation called “L’Sandburg.” Foolish, mad that Bad would attempt to occupy a spot on his land, intervenes. Bad ends up declaring war.

Later, after things settle, Puffy is invited to L’Sandburg but instead attempts to take over the nation, declaring it “L’Puffburg.”

---

VOD LINKS:

Foolish

Captain Puffy

---

- There’s a flashback to the Red Banquet from Foolish’s perspective, watching as Puffy and Antfrost argue.

- As Foolish dies, the screen goes black. The Egg speaks.

"YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE ME AGAIN.”

- Foolish gasps and wakes in the green beacon light within the Temple of Undying. He’s confused -- he’s immortal. But that was different.

The Egg makes noises, then speaks -- but not in reverse.

“I...am..in your mind...”

“I am IN YOUR SOUL.”

“No, no no no no, this is -- this is just tricks! Games! This is just something new!”

“IT IS NOT A TRICK.”

“Is this -- is this the Egg? It’s tough to forget a voice like that.”

“CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT. I HAVE MANY NAMES AS YOU KNOW, BUT YOU’VE FORGOTTEN.”

“What do you mean? No no no, I have never heard you before, it wasn’t that long ago that I first met you. You’re something new, something I’ve never met before.”

“I AM AN ANCIENT ONE. EVEN MORE ANCIENT THAN YOU.”

“So I guess...I guess I was wrong -- I’m not afraid of you! Even after all that, I am still not afraid.”

“AFRAID? YOU ARE TRULY FOOLISH IF YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE STRONGER THAN ME! YOU SHOULD BE AFRAID.”

“Maybe...maybe I had it wrong. Maybe I thought I was stronger. But...but I’m still here! I’m still here. And where are you? How’d that Banquet go?”

“FOOLISH...WHEN WE MET, YOU SAID YOU FEARED NOTHING. BUT NOW? I CAN SENSE YOUR FEAR, FOOLISH.”

“No...no.”

“YOU FEAR DEATH ITSELF, DON’T YOU?”

“No, no...you don’t know! You don’t know anything about me!”

“I...KNOW WHO YOU ARE...EVEN THOUGH...YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN SOME OF WHAT YOU ARE.”

“And? Enlighten me, tell me something. Tell me something that only I would know!”

“I KNOW...OF YOUR SECRET PLACE THAT YOU HAVE TOLD OF NO OTHER!”

“Be more specific.”

“FOOLISH...I KNOW WHAT YOU KEEP IN THERE. FOOLISH...”

“You could be lying. Where?”

“HOW CAN I BE LYING, WHEN I CAN HEAR YOUR VERY THOUGHTS?”

“How do I get you out of my head? I’m not -- you’re still trying to get me to join your side, that’s not gonna happen!”

“FOOLISH...YOU ARE WEAK! FOOLISH. YOU ARE CAPABLE OF SO MUCH MORE! BUT YOU CHOOSE PEACE. AND YOU WASTE YOUR DAYS BUILDING...PATHETIC. YOU HAVE MORE POWER THAN YOU KNOW.”

“No...no, you have it wrong! I’ve tried that, okay? I’ve tried power in the past and it doesn’t work! It doesn’t work. You can’t just use overwhelming force. It worked for short term at best.”

“POWER! POWER IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS, FOOLISH! YOU OF ALL SHOULD KNOW THAT. HOW ELSE CAN YOU SAVE YOURSELF FROM DYING, FOOLISH?”

“You think...you think I’m weak? You think there’s strength -- there’s strength in what I do! Let me explain to you. Let me explain to you why I build.”

“Before, I was reckless and wild. I used to believe wielding godlike powers and a sword gave me some sort of control. But it all led me down a path of violence, and anger, mistrust. I can’t control the actions of the world through overwhelming power. It doesn’t work, just doesn’t. But building provides two important elements in my life. Creation and control...”

- Foolish walks back to the mainland as the Egg continues to speak with him.

- Foolish heads to Church Prime as the Egg keeps asking to join him. It says that it knows about Foolish’s deal with Ranboo.

“Hm. So maybe you do know something. Which is all the more reason I need to be rid of you. And you can go back to whatever dark abyss of the Nether you came from!”

“FOOLISH, STOP. WHY ARE WE FIGHTING? IT’S NOT TOO LATE FOR YOU TO JOIN ME. I WILL MAKE YOU STRONG AGAIN. DEEP DOWN YOU MISS THE POWER YOU ONCE HELD. 

GO BACK TO BEING A TOTEM OF DEATH, AND TOGETHER, WE CAN RULE AND CREATE PEACE. PEACE IS WHAT YOU WANT. RIGHT, FOOLISH?”

- Foolish tells the Egg it doesn’t work that way. The Egg says it can and it will. Foolish asks if it has any last words.

“I AM A PART OF YOU, FOOLISH. YOU CANNOT GET RID OF ME.”

“No...then I mean this in the most polite way possible...”

“Go to Hell.”

- Foolish submerges himself in the waters of Church Prime as the Egg shouts. When he emerges, it’s gone.

- He wonders if anyone is still alive from the Banquet. He walks down the Prime Path, not understanding why he’s afraid of death.

“There was that brief second before that sword...I don’t see beauty in mortality.”

- He jumps down into the spider spawner and makes his way down the hallway, but he hesitates. He needs to calm down.

- Foolish heads back home. Did the Egg know better than him? Is it saying things that he’s afraid to admit? 

- He makes it back to the temple, wondering if it’s really safe. Even if he can die, why is he so afraid? 

- He opens the secret door and walks down the staircase. He still doesn’t fault the members of the Eggpire for the Egg’s control. He retrieves his things from the basement.

- He just needs to rest. Foolish returns to the beacon light.

---

- Bad creates a three-block-wide area on Foolish’s path to the Nether portal and claims ownership of it. He constructs walls around it and declares it the Town of L’Sandburg. 

- As a gift, Foolish gives Bad a bed and the HBomb catmaid service coupon.

- Bad creates Halobucks. Antfrost arrives to help Bad, and they request more sandstone to build with.

- Foolish gives Antfrost the Sword of XD to kill Bad with. Now, Antfrost and Bad have defenses for L’Sandburg. They refuse to give the sword back.

- Foolish attempts to negotiate with Antfrost to kill Bad in exchange for the supplies. Antfrost is reluctant, as Bad is the ruler of L’Sandburg and he doesn’t with to betray his country.

- Antfrost changes into his maid skin. Foolish asks for his sword back.

- They do an exchange of supplies, but Bad doesn’t give Foolish his sword. Foolish, frustrated that he is unable to break his vow of pacifism, calls in some help: he tells HBomb about the possibility of maid service for Bad.

- Purpled joins the call and logs on. Bad invites him to join L’Sandburg.

- Bad and Ant inform Foolish that he must pay a toll to pass through the path.

- Purpled arrives to join L’Sandburg. He is their lawyer.

- Foolish gets Purpled to kill Bad and then pays him. Purpled also kills Antfrost.

- Foolish says he’ll give Purpled a block of Netherite. Antfrost offers emeralds, but Purpled weighs the options and decides Foolish’s offer is better and continues to kill the L’Sandburgians.

- Bad threatens to declare it an international incident.

- Purpled starts mining bits of L’Sandburg, but Bad stops him, saying he has to take it up with the court. Purpled isn’t one for politics. Bad warns them that if they continue, he’ll have to declare war.

- Bad says they’re bringing HBomb over to act as a judge. Purpled says that’s his cue to leave and heads off. Foolish lets him know that he might need a favor later.

- HBomb arrives in his catmaid outfit and Ant asks him to join L’Sandburg. HBomb becomes a citizen of L’Sandburg. 

- Bad hands Foolish a representation of the court papers (a single arrow) as HBomb exits L’Sandburg to carve out his own country neighboring them. Ant says he can have dual citizenship. 

- H creates a running stream of water and a wall of wood and declares his new country: L’damburg.

- He also creates a seat in the sun and offers Foolish take some time in L’tanburg.

- He then makes a ton of cars and welcomes Foolish to L’jamburg.

HBomb: “Wait, are you streaming?”

Foolish: “Yeah.”

HBomb: “Welcome to L’camburg.”

(Foolish tells chat to never become a pacifist)

- HBomb lights a piece of TNT and explodes L’tanburg, declaring it now L’bamburg. 

- Bad declares that L’Sandburg’s borders, now the entire chunk, have now extended into L’damburg. They now have territory for agriculture.

- Foolish asks, how are they even a country? Do they even have a declaration? One way or another, Foolish says, they can have their little fantasy for a bit but then L’Sandburg is getting destroyed.

- Rat is a canonical L’Sandburg member

- He asks how to make a TNT cannon. Bad warns him against that, saying it would violate their peace treaty.

- Bad declares war on Foolish’s summer home over a piece of cake.

- Bad annexes a block of cactus into L’Sandburg. Foolish is outraged, insisting that this is his land.

Bad: “You will rue the day, Foolish, you started war with L’Sandburg.”

- Bad starts building a wooden one-block-wide pathway to annex territory to the cactus. Foolish gives in and says that they can have this strip of land officially, but not anymore land or else Foolish will have to bring in necessary forces.

- After learning that the cactus has been around for centuries, Bad realizes that L’Sandburg must be older than Foolish’s summer home!

Bad: “Everything the eye can see must be L’Sandburg!”

...

Foolish: “The strength of my patience is the reason you’re alive.”

- HBomb gets injured from falling outside the strip and Bad says Foolish needs to pay for the damages.

- To be good neighbors, Bad offers to let Foolish keep the strip and the cactus, and L’Sandburg and L’Damburg will stay within their chunks. In exchange for the ancient cactus, Bad requests stacks of sandstone.

- HBomb pulls Bad aside, suggesting they form a new nation: L’hamburg. They claim another chunk.

- Bad starts building a statue to Rat. Foolish blurts that he doesn’t want a statue of that “ugly creature” and Bad and H both stop and look at him. HBomb immediately starts building a wall between them.

- Foolish walks into L’Sandburg, checks a chest and is outraged when he finds that the L’Sandburgians/L’damburgians have been stealing supplies from him. 

- Foolish insults how ugly L’hamburg is. Bad leaves. 

- HBomb explains that he is not a citizen of L’Sandburg now, but L’damburg, and that L’bamburg and L’damburg are the same.

- Foolish tells HBomb that he will wait and get rid of L’Sandburg later. HBomb asks if that’s a threat.

Foolish: “That wasn’t a threat, just a promise.”

Foolish: “We strike at dawn.”

- HBomb points out that Foolish hired Purpled to kill them. He’s the judge.

- While H continues to work on L’damburg, Foolish performs the Shift Dance.

- Bad returns. H has to leave, but he tells Bad to keep an eye on the ‘burgs. Bad suggests he and Foolish create a peace treaty. 50% off toll, and in exchange they have peace.

- Foolish asks, what if someone else isn’t peaceful? Bad would consider that an act of war on his part. He offers to gift Foolish L’hamburg.

- The only thing, Bad says, is that Foolish can’t get rid of the L’Sandburg capital. With that, he departs.

- Foolish says he might keep the tower, but he’ll have to do this later.

---

- Puffy examines her Netherite axe. The axe that she killed her best friend with. She still can’t believe what happened. Worse than Foolish dying, she stooped to their level and took a life. She swore she wouldn’t be like them.

- Antfrost was right. She failed. She understands why people didn’t fight for L’manburg now.

“Chaos always wins. Despite all odds, despite everything you think you can do to fix the situation, to help each other, to persevere...you can’t.”

- She doesn’t know where Foolish is, but killing Antfrost didn’t fix anything. 

- There’s somewhere she hasn’t been in a long time. She’s done with Bad, done with Ant -- but at least Ant has a reason to hate her now. By killing Foolish, they’d hurt her more than if they’d killed her.

- Nothing excuses what she did. She’ll face the consequences for killing Antfrost later. She acted on her emotions, but she’d do it again.

“Maybe the only way to have people listen to me, to take me seriously, is to instill fear in them. And that’s not who I want to be, but if it’s who I have to be, if I have to be the villain in everyone’s story? Then that’s the choice I’ll make.”

- The Captain’s Log was meant to document her progress as a knight. Now, this book is her undoing. She goes down into her underground base, looking at the signs on the wall.

“You can’t connect the dots, you can’t see anything coming because everybody you think you know about everyone on this server is a lie! Everything you know, you can’t trust anybody!”

“Even the sweetest of people, the closest of people, the people that you have trusted since day one? They’ll turn, because everybody on this server has a dark side, whether they like to think it or not, whether it’s been shown yet, whether it’s been revealed, everybody -- everybody including me! Including the quote unquote ‘mother,’ the ‘protector of the server,’ even me! Because I could be worse than all of them! And the best part is is that they’ll never see it coming.” 

“Some people are predictable...I’m not one of them.”

- Puffy writes in her Captain’s Log, changing “What it means to be a knight” to “What it means to be a villain...”

DON’T TRUST ANYONE.

NOT EVEN YOURSELF.

A DAY WILL COME WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND BE THE PERSON YOU RECOGNIZE LEAST IN THIS WORLD.

“Trust...trust is the biggest weakness there is. Trust is what separates strangers from friends. From security, from vulnerability. Trust is weakness, and...on this server, you can’t have any weakness, because if they find out, if anybody finds out you have a weakness, they’ll use it against you.”

- A new era of peace isn’t going to happen. Puffy will bring a new era of darkness. There are few people who haven’t broken their loyalty yet, and she’ll keep an eye out. But to the people that failed her, 

“To those people, I say...’welcome to Doomsday.’“

---

- After discussion about Puffy’s height, Bad tells Puffy that he’s forming a new nation if she would like to join. A nation called L’Sandburg.

- Puffy arrives at L’Sandburg. The capital tower has been renovated, the base reinforced with obsidian.

- Puffy asks if this is canon. Bad says yes, this is his tower. (After Puffy gets mad at him for killing her son, Bad says it’s maybe not that level of canon)

- Bad lets Puffy into the L’Sandburg capital.

- Puffy asks what the point of L’Sandburg is. Bad explains that it’s a sort of tollbooth on Foolish’s road. The toll depends on how much armor a person is wearing. The more shiny, fancy armor, the higher the toll, because that person can afford to pay more.

- Puffy starts twerking to test the road durability. She pays a toll of carrots with one steak. Bad plans to increase toll amounts as the nation improves infrastructure. 

- Bad tries to arrest Puffy and put her into toll jail for bypassing the toll, but he gives up and walks away when she says no. Puffy points out that his security system is not very good, and Bad starts to see the problem here.

- Puffy walks into the toll booth and Bad asks her to pay a toll of five carrots this time. The price has gone up due to inflation. Puffy turns the tables and starts charging Bad toll to enter L’Sandburg, declaring this territory “L’Puffburg.”

- Bad bypasses the toll by saying he’s ready for hot girl summer and agrees to let Puffy keep ownership of the top floor of the capital.

- L’Sandburg is apparently Bad’s “vacation country.”

- Bad and Puffy hang out in L’Sandburg/L’Puffburg some more and Bad plays around sticking his head out of sand and doing various voices.

- Antfrost arrives. 

- Ant changes into Badboyhalo in a maid outfit.

- Bad and Antfrost fight. Antfrost runs out of L’Sandburg and Bad chases after him, threatening to take his second canon life, telling him to accept his death like a good potato.

- Antfrost kills Bad. Puffy tells them to put their weapons away so that they can have a proper duel. They fight a second time.

- Ant and Puffy say goodnight and leave Bad to work in L’Sandburg.

---

Upcoming events remain the same.

[aspoonofsugar]

Emerald + Mercury = Cinder

BEGINNING OF THE END = MIDNIGHT

The episodes Beginning of the End and Midnight can be seen as complementary.

Both share a similar structure with the first part telling Cinder’s story and the second part showing how past events are influencing the present. At the same time, they show the links among Cinder, Emerald and Mercury and explore their changing dynamic.

In Beginning of the End it is shown how they came together and we reach the climax of their cooperation. The Fall of Beacon is when the trio is at its strongest. It is only because of their coordination and teamwork that the plan succeeds. In Midnight instead we are shown the beginning of their separation.

For different reasons (fears and wishes) both Mercury and Emerald are about to leave Cinder. Mercury already has and it is probable Emerald will soon.

The two episodes also give us two opposite and complementary visions of Cinder.

In Beginning of the End, we have the way Cinder wants to appear:

Cinder: (stepping forward slowly, glass anklet shifting with her footsteps) I've already told you. And I don't like repeating myself.

Salem: I would like to think I have shown a great deal of patience over my many years walking Remnant. But I do hate repeating myself.

Mercury: Is this how you treat a patient? (Emerald reaches over and twists the screwdriver in his leg, causing him to wince) Ah, too tight!

Cinder: Enough. Our Mercury put on a wonderful show. He was quite brave.

Salem: Do you find such malignance necessary?

Watts: I apologize, ma'am. I'm not particularly fond of failure.

Salem: Then I see no reason for your cruelty towards young Cinder. She's become our Fall Maiden, destroyed Beacon Tower, and most importantly, killed dear Ozpin. So I'm curious, to what failures are you referring?

In Midnight we see who she really is. Moreover, it becomes more and more clear that her imitation of Salem is different from the original:

Salem: I will tell you when and where you are needed.

Cinder: Both of you, get out. I’ll let you know when you’re needed next.

Mercury: Yeah about that, Salem’s got other plans for me. I’m not gonna be taking orders from you anymore.

Why is this being shown through her interactions with Emerald and Mercury? Why are they important for Cinder’s character?

First of all, Mercury and Emerald are Cinder’s kids, at least narratively speaking:

Roman: Oh, look! She sent the kids again! This is turning out just like the divorce!

Roman calls them so when they first appear and later on several characters refer to them as kids in relation to Cinder.

Raven (about Emerald and Mercury): Two children you've tricked into following you.

Tyrian: (chuckles as he slowly walks toward Emerald) Careful, little girl. Cinder isn't here to protect you anymore.

Tyrian (mocking Mercury): Oh yes, the world is mean, and I'm a big, bad man now just like the others.

Salem (to Emerald): Speak, child.

In short, they are meant to be the last link in a chain of abuse that starts with Salem, goes on with Cinder and finally arrives to them.

At the same time, as the title says Mercury + Emerald = Cinder because they are nothing more than parts of Cinder herself, both in their backgrounds and in their personalities.

CINDER + “HUNGER” = EMERALD

Cinder: Follow me, and you'll never be hungry again.

Cinder: It's... an emptiness. It burns. Like hunger. I like it.

In Beginning of the End Emerald and Cinder are shown to share a hunger motif.

Emerald is presented as a street rat who survives through stealing. She is poor and starved, so she accepts Cinder’s offer to be taken care of and to be given food. That said, it is clear that other than food what Emerald is truly starving for is love:

Emerald: I just... (sighs) Cinder was the only family I ever had. She cared about me, taught me things...

I'm the one Who rose out of filth and was loved by no-one

Similarly, Cinder too is shown to be hungry. More specifically, she is hungry for power:

Cinder: I want to be powerful.

It is meaningful that in the episode where Cinder tells Emerald she won’t have to starve anymore, she herself is starving. This contradiction conveys the tragedy of Cinder’s character aka a traumatized girl taking in a kid similar to her and becoming like her past parental figures.

As a matter of fact Emerald and Cinder’s first meeting has parallels with Cinder meeting both Madame and Rhodes.

When Cinder meets Madame she asks for food, but is negated it:

And she is later shown to have survived through leftovers.

In contrast, food is the first thing Cinder offers Emerald, who she recognizes as a girl who has survived in poverty, like her.

In their first meeting, Cinder also treats Emerald pretty much like Rhodes treated her. Both discover a young girl, who has just committed a theft and confront her. However, instead of punishing the girl, they both offer to be the girl’s mentor and become her idol.

As a matter of fact both Cinder and Emerald are shown to idolize their saviors to the point that both girls try to look like them by changing their hair/clothes:

So, it would superficially seem that Cinder is acting like Rhodes and in the opposite way of Madame. However, the reality is far more complex. Deep down, Cinder is acting like her adoptive mother because she is targeting a girl and thinking about how she can weaponize her. At the same time, there is a key difference between her behaviour and Rhodes’s. Rhodes had Cinder give the sword back, while Cinder never stopped Emerald from stealing. If anything, she encouraged her criminal activities changing her from a thief to a terrorist. In other words, Cinder radicalized Emerald.

This is once again linked to the motif of hunger both girls share:

Cinder: You Atlas elites are all the same! You think hoarding power means you'll have it forever, but it just makes the rest of us hungrier.

Cinder’s trauma is rooted in the unfairness of the world. She was made to starve simply because she was born in the wrong situation and society completely failed her.

What is more, when Rhodes refuses Cinder as well, she too refuses his vision of the world. Rhodes, pretty much like the Prince of the original fairy-tale, offers Cinder a way to social-climb. In the fairy-tale, Cinderella marries the prince and so becomes a princess in the end. Here, Rhodes is telling Cinder she can reach her own castle. Cinder can escape her misery and reach Atlas. However, this is seen as a lie by Cinder the moment he attacks her.

So, Cinder giving food to an orphan like her and trying to destroy the current order are both coherent with the idea that the world is unjust and needs to be changed. However, Cinder is using the same problems she criticizes to her advantage. What is more, she is exasperating them in order to fulfill her personal agenda, which is only about herself and her self-image.

Let’s see now, what do our two young thieves steal? What are they “hungry” for?

a) Emerald steals a ring:

Salesman: A beautiful ring... for a beautiful woman.

Interestingly, the ring itself might be a reference to the original story of Aladdin, which is apparently Emerald’s allusion.

In the original story Aladdin meets two jinns. The first one is in a ring and Aladdin uses it to save himself and to escape with the magic lamp, where a stronger jinn is. So it makes sense for Emerald to steal a ring (something she wishes) just to meet a woman that promises her she can have more (her personal jinn aka someone that can realize Emerald’s dreams).

Why does Emerald steal the ring?

It is possible she just wants to sell it in order to buy some food, but I like the idea that she steals it also because she wants some beauty (”a beautiful ring for a beautiful woman”) in the harsh and horrible world she lives in (“filth”).

b) Cinder steals a sword:

Like in Emerald’s case, the object of Cinder’s theft can be seen as part of her fairy-tale’s allusion.

As a matter of fact, in Cinder’s adaptation of Cinderella the swords are nothing, but her glass slippers.

This is made clear later on when Rhodes (both the Prince and the Fairy Godmother) gives Cinder the first sword. It is meant to be a prize on his part. He is showing Cinder she does not need to steal it anymore because she has gained it. Moreover,  weapons are said to be extensions of a person by Ruby, so it makes sense that the slipper of the original Cinderella becomes a sword in this version. It fits the personality of our Cinder, a fiery young girl, who wants to become a huntress.

Finally, since Cinder’s story uses both inversion and deconstruction when adapting the fairy-tale, it is interesting that in the end the Prince refuses to give Cinder the other sword (slipper) and Cinder takes it by force:

In this way, Cinder goes back to stealing, which was what Rhodes had originally tried to avoid.

Why does Cinder steal the sword in the first place?

She steals something to defend herself with and to hurt her tormentors. Violence is rooted in Cinder’s first theft.

In short, Emerald wants something beautiful, while Cinder wants something powerful.

This difference is coherent with their respective semblances since Emerald creates illusions, while Cinder is able to overheat objects, so that she can create explosions and manipulate their shape. Both powers are representative of their user’s flaw and coping mechanism.

Emerald is a person who has reacted to her traumatic life by chasing illusory dreams of warmth and love. She tricks others and is tricked because she refuses to dispel her self-delusions.

Cinder is instead a person, who has been molded through violence just like the glass statues in the hotel. She is forced to endure until she can’t take it anymore and she explodes:

She herself is the Glass Unicorn, which shatters like Cinder’s innocence when too much pressure is added. Not only that, but Cinder too has started molding others to her will. She has been grooming both Emerald and Mercury for her own ego. This is why the name Scorching Caress fits her so well. It is because behind every act of care it is hidden an act of manipulation. And this happens because Cinder too has been treated utilitaristically and the only kind of love she experienced (Rhodes’s) was a “weak” love Cinder ended up perceiving as fake.

In short, Emerald and Cinder have different coping mechanisms and aim for different things. However, this does not mean that one is better or worse than the other. Their main difference is that right now Emerald is more in touch with her own needs and wishes. Ironically, the delusional girl has never lost sight of what she truly wants.

Emerald wants a family. She has been looking for it in the wrong places and she has been pursuing it in the wrong ways. However, Emerald has never forgotten what she is truly after and she is starting to realize she won’t have it, until she stays on Salem’s side:

Salem: It's important not to lose sight of what drives us: Love, justice, reverence... but the moment you put your desires before my own... they will be lost to you. This isn't a threat, this is simply the truth. The path to your desires is only found... through me.

Tyrian: Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. I want to tell you both a little secret. Your question is all wrong. (laughs)

Emerald: What?

Tyrian: "What do you want from this?" Children, please, if you're not loving what you're doing, then you're in the wrong field.

Salem promises to fulfill Emerald’s wishes, but Tyrian has already told her that pursuing a wish while working for Salem is useless. Emerald is starting to realize it and this is why she will probably leave.

Cinder has instead forgotten what she originally wanted:

Cinder: Like you? You can do whatever you want, go wherever you want.

Cinder’s original wish was to be free and also to be loved, like Emerald:

You're no good I hope you know That your life is of no use And the truth is that No one's ever loved you

However, her being failed by the adults has twisted her wish into a desire for power.

This difference is well conveyed by Cinder and Emerald’s respective line in Beginning of the End:

Cinder: Follow me, and you'll never be hungry again.

Emerald: Thank you...

Cinder: The Huntsman severed the connection before it was complete. (pause) Yes. It's... an emptiness. It burns. Like hunger. I like it. (pause) Yes. I will claim what is ours. (pause) Thank you.

Emerald thanks Cinder because she won’t have to be hungry anymore, while Cinder thanks Salem because she is able to feel a hunger she likes.

This fits well with Cinder’s last words to the Madame:

Cinder: You’re right. Without you I am nothing. But because of you, I am everything.

Emerald does not want to be hungry, while Cinder has been tricked into thinking that being hungry is the only way she can become not even “everything”, but just “something”.

CINDER + “EVERYTHING” = MERCURY

Cinder: Because of you, I am everything.

Mercury: So I got strong, but I never got it back! I've had to work harder than anyone to get where I am.

Cinder’s way of thinking is very similar to Mercury’s. Not only have they both endured their parents’ violence, but they have tried to give this violence meaning. It is because of Madame that Cinder has become “everything” and it is because of Marcus that Mercury has become “strong”. They must believe that it was not all for nothing and that the pain they felt made them stronger instead of weaker.

This is why Cinder thinks that deep down her “hunger” is good. It is because it drives her, but she ignores that it blinds her too.

This is why Mercury keeps going back to his father:

Mercury: Bad hair, used a scythe, and smelled like my dad after a long day. It was him.

Mercury: My dad always said... "if you need to know a city, ask the rats."

He mentions Marcus here and there and uses his teachings to solve problems. That is because those teachings must have some value, right? If they don’t, then Mercury’s life means nothing.

The nature of Cinder and Mercury’s foiling is clear in their first meeting:

Like in Emerald’s case, Cinder finding Mercury calls back a moment of her past.

In particular, it parallels the murder of her adoptive family and Rhodes discovering it. Mercury, just like young Cinder, has just killed an abusive parent and is confronted by a person after the fact.

Once again, Cinder seems to act differently from the adults that let her down. Rhodes was horrified and attacked her, while Cinder praises Mercury and has him join her group.

However, she is deep down acting as Rhodes did. As a matter of fact what truly hurt Cinder about Rhodes’s reaction is that he convinced her that she is irredeemable.

The whole scene plays with the Cinderella’s allusion and inverts it:

The clock strikes midnight and just like in the fairy-tale, the magic is over. In Cinderella, the protagonist goes back to her true self and runs away not to be seen. However, in the end, the prince recognizes her through her slipper (a symbol of her innate beauty and kindness) and marries her despite her humble condition.

In Cinder’s story, midnight is when she reveals a part of herself to Rhodes. She shows all the anger and violence she has been repressing. Cinder is not a “good victim” like the Cinderella of the fairy-tale and Rhodes can’t accept it. Not only that, but he negates Cinder’s dream to be free:

Rhodes: You can run, but you’re going to be running for the rest of your life.

Cinder: I won’t have to run now.

Rhodes: That’s all you’ll ever do.

This shatters Cinder’s hopes and self-perception. She internalizes that she will have to live in opposition to society because she is somehow “a bad person”. She is not a huntress (a princess), but a nobody who’ll have to use violence to survive. And she starts doing it immediately. As the song that starts playing implies, she has been awaken from the “fragile lies in bones”. However, this “truth has broken her soul in two”. This wound is still there and it has influenced, among other things, her reaction to Mercury.

When Cinder meets Mercury, she associates him to his father three times:

Cinder:  And you're his son. We saw your fight from the treeline. He's taught you well.

Mercury: Guess so.

Cinder: What's your name?

Mercury: Mercury.

Cinder: Mercury... Tell me, are you anything like your father?

In this way, she strengthens the connection Mercury tried to cut by killing Marcus. She is indirectly convincing him that he can’t be different from his father:

Tyrian: All you ever learned was pain and violence, and now you're too afraid to leave it. Such a tragedy.

Tyrian spells it out clearly for both Mercury and the audience. The only reason Mercury joined Cinder and is now working for Salem is that he is scared. Not only is he scared for his own survival, but he is scared about failing to be anything else than what his father taught him.

Cinder is deep down scared too by Salem and her group:

However, she too, like Mercury, has given up on being anything different than a criminal. She puts up a strong demeanor, but is actually really frail. She is like glass that has been bended through heat (violence) and can easily shatter.

Both Mercury and Cinder are two violent victims. This duality is kind of conveyed also through their names and colors.

“Cinder” is something that has only partially burnt. They tried to reduce her to ashes, but failed and a part of Cinder is still burning. This is why her main colors are black and red. She is black because she was burnt. She is red because she can burn. She was both hurt and has hurted others.

Similarly, “mercury” is a silver/gray metal and this is Mercury’s main color. This choice gains a possible deeper meaning when one considers that his aura is white and that his surname is Black. His aura can be seen as Mercury’s nature, while the surname “Black” is a symbol of the “nurture” he received. Mixing these two factors made so that Mercury turned out like he is (a gray character).

So, Cinder and Mercury have been shaped by their abuse and this is clearly visible on their bodies as well:

Cinder keeps the scar on her neck hidden, while Mercury has chosen to weaponize his missing legs.

It is telling that Mercury made of his own mechanical legs his weapon and that he mostly uses kicks to fight. It is another detail that shows how he is reducing both himself and his trauma to weapons he can use.

Cinder too shows how frail her sense of self is through weapons. It is not by chance that her current weapons are made of glass. In her backstory her swords were a symbol of her true self and of who she could become. Right now, they are nothing, but glass imitations of that ideal.

In short, Cinder and Mercury are both victims and murderers and they needed to have both sides of themselves accepted by their mentors.

However, Rhodes and Cinder failed to do so. They both refused the victimhood of the child in front of them, but they did so in opposite ways.

On one hand Rhodes refused Cinder’s violence and its reasons. He ignored his feelings of affection for the girl and steeled himself, so that he could fight her.

On the other hand Cinder gladly accepted Mercury’s violence and groomed him (Scorching caress), so that he would completely embrace it too.

The difference between Rhodes and Cinder lies in them having different reactions to the violence perpetrated by a child. However, they both fail to address the child’s pain. Rhodes does so because his vision is too black and white. Cinder does so because she is not even able to address her own pain.

However, both Cinder and Mercury need to address their own victimhood. Still, they refuse to do so because it would mean to accept their vulnerability. It is easier to convince themselves that they are the strong and violent ones. They are the ones others are scared of:

Mercury: We're the guys you should be afraid of.

But it is precisely because of this refusal that they are currently caught in dynamics similar to the ones they escaped:

Salem and Tyrian are nothing, but more dangerous versions of Madame and Marcus.

Salem treats Cinder as a pawn, rather than a person. She strips her of her personhood and agency and punishes her violently.

Tyrian is a killer, who enjoys his job like Marcus. He keeps invading Mercury’s personal space and threathens him. Moreover, his own semblance is similar to Marcus’s. It might not steal people’s semblances, but it still messes with their auras (with their very souls).

Cinder and Mercury struggle to recognize their own situations because to do so they must accept they are still stuck in their horrible childhoods:

Mercury: You may not like it here without Cinder, but I think I'm right where I'm supposed to be!

Cinder: I don’t serve anyone. And you wouldn’t either, if you were built that way.

However, this refusal is confusing them about what their true needs and wishes are:

Cinder: I want to be strong. I want to be feared. I want to be powerful.

Mercury: So what's in it for me?

In Beginning of the End both characters receive a line where they express some kind of wish.

As stated above, Cinder’s wish is not her original one, but a twisted version because she thinks she can’t reach her true desire.

When it comes to Mercury, he is not even sure of what he really wants. This is made clear even later on:

Emerald: I mean, there has to be something you want from this, right?

Mercury: Salem's promised us everything. We win this thing for her, we'll be top dogs in her new world. What more do you want?

He says Salem will give him all he wants, but he still fails to answer Emerald’s question. What is it that he wants?

He wants “everything” Cinder can offer him and later on “everything” Salem offers him. However, this is just another way to say he’ll take anything he is given, be it even something as basic as survival:

Mercury: Look, even if what he said was true, we can’t stop Salem. You told me yourself, Hazel tried. He failed and he got in line. Big guy’s not going to pick fights he can’t win, and neither should we.

This is because Mercury is so scared and hurt he can’t even start to think about what he wants.

Similarly, he goes back to a fatalistic vision of the world:

Mercury: Just made sense.

Emerald: It made sense?

Mercury: All my life, my father trained me to be a killer, an assassin like him. And then moments after I killed him, you two showed up looking for someone with my exact skills. Just felt like it was meant to be.

Let’s highlight that Cinder does the same:

Pyrrha: Do you believe in destiny?

Cinder: Yes.

Cinder: You know, Neo, someone once asked me if I believed in destiny. And I'm happy to say I still do.

Both Mercury and Cinder have convinced themselves that there is a “destiny” written for them and that they must play that role (the role of an assassin, the role of the Maiden). However, in this way they are just chaining themselves and accepting to Do As They Are Told by adults and mentor figures, who do not really care about them.

EMERALD + MERCURY = SOUL + BODY

I'm the one That was born in a nightmare a murderer's son Got no gun But I gleam like a blade and I'm harder than iron I'm the one Who rose out of filth and was loved by no-one Delusion I'll steal til your blind and defeat you from inside your mind

I'm the one That was ripped from the earth and exposed to the sun Overrun By the hate and the beatings defiled by a father I'm the one I'll race with your eyes and you'll never outrun Illusions Will conquer your mind and will make you fulfill my design

Mercury and Emerald’s song says several things about them.

First of all, it conveys the idea of two kids that feel let down by the world and have decided to retaliate. They mock their opponents and praise their respective abilities. However, it is clear from the verses above that it is just a mask to hide their pain.

This fits with them appearing for the first time in Best Day Ever where Ozpin says this:

Ozpin: And they will be, but right now they're still children. So why not let them play the part? After all, it isn't a role they'll have forever.

Differently from out protagonists (at the time), Emerald and Mercury are not playing the part of kids, but they are acting as big bad thugs to prove themselves to the people around them.

Secondly, the song is useful to explore Emerald and Mercury’s foiling.

a)

I'm the one Who rose out of filth and was loved by no-one Delusion I'll steal til your blind and defeat you from inside your mind

I'm the one That was ripped from the earth and exposed to the sun Overrun By the hate and the beatings defiled by a father

Emerald was never given love, while Mercury was given hate:

Mercury: I'm sorry you didn't have a mommy that loved you, but I had a father who hated me!

This difference is at the root of their different personalities.

On one hand Emerald attaches herself to the care Cinder gives her and takes it as the most love she’ll ever receive.

On the other hand Mercury is just content with not receiving hate and violence from the people around him.

Emerald is more open about her connections with others, while Mercury is more disillusioned. She is strongly driven by them, while Mercury is too scared to fully embrace them.

Emerald has clear wishes, but she is deluding herself about them. Mercury has fears that do not let him realize what he wants.

This difference stems from the different nature of their traumas. Who was never given anything accepts whatever they are offered, while who received pain thinks even nothing is better than more pain.

Still, we are currently seeing an inversion of this dynamic. Emerald’s wishes and their not overlapping with reality are making her doubtful. Mercury’s fear and survival instinct are making him refuse the truth:

Mercury: And all of this is pointless, anyway. Salem’s not ending the world.

In the end, facing one’s own feelings, being them wishes:

Or fears:

Is still better than repressing them, even if it might be painful.

b)

I'm the one That was born in a nightmare a murderer's son Got no gun But I gleam like a blade and I'm harder than iron

I'm the one I'll race with your eyes and you'll never outrun Illusions Will conquer your mind and will make you fulfill my design

The song I’m the One has four key verses. In the first two ones both characters tell a little of their past and then discuss their abilities, while in the other two Mercury mostly talks about his past and emphasizes it, while Emerald highlights her semblance more.

This ends up foreshadowing the importance of Emerald’s semblance and Mercury’s lack of one (”got no gun”).

Emerald’s semblance is important on different levels. As stated above, it perfectly embodies Emerald’s flaw:

Mercury: You're in denial.

And it is linked to unconscious aspects, like wishes and fears. Finally, it is a semblance linked to trickery and lies and these are among the causes of The Fall of Beacon:

Cinder:  Our Kingdoms are on the brink of war, yet we, the citizens, are left in the dark.

It is not by chance that this semblance specifically has been so instrumental in Cinder’s plan, after all.

Similarly, Mercury’s lack of a semblance is one of his defining traits:

Mercury: He never went easy on me! Every day of training was a beating. And when I unlocked my Semblance, he stole it with his!

Ironically, this would make for an excellent narrative objective for Mercury’s character. However, he is so sure his semblance can’t be taken back that he has completely given up on it. This even if he is clearly bitter about having had a part of himself stolen.

The key aspect here may be that Mercury has failed to get his semblance back through his father’s teachings:

Mercury: He told me I could have it back when I was strong. So I got strong, but I never got it back!

And he is now considering it lost forever. It is possible that the path to find his ability again is instead another one altogether.

That said, while Cinder mostly used Emerald’s semblance in her plan, she also made great use of Mercury’s skill and of the peculiar nature of his body:

The first step in her plan, after all, uses both Emerald’s semblance and Mercury’s prostethic legs to spread negative emotions. This tendency continues in PvP where Emerald uses her semblance and Mercury, unhurt because of his legs, prevents Ruby from interrupting the fight.

In short, Emerald mostly relies on her semblance, while Mercury mostly relies on his legs and fighting prowess.

This detail adds to the idea that Emerald and Mercury have been acting as a unit and have been complementing each other. Emerald acts as the “soul” and Mercury as the “body”.

The soul is one’s personal essence (like the semblance). It is where (once again) wishes reside. The body is what protects the soul and is animated by instincts and self-survival.

They complement each other. This complementarity is shown in Emerald and Mercury’s fights.

In the Vytal festival, Mercury takes on both Coco and Yatsuhashi for a short while, so that Emerald can size her chance to fight Coco at her own terms (and she wins by using her semblance).

In the Battle of Heaven, Emerald uses her semblance to help Mercury fight and, in a sense, she compensates for his lack of one:

This perfect complementarity used to make them strong, but right now it is clear that it has become limitating:

Blake: When you’ve been at someone’s side for so long, after a while they become a part of you. But that’s just it, they’re only a part of you. Don’t forget about the rest.

 This is why they are currently being separated by the narrative.

On one hand Emerald must learn not to be so emotionally dependant from others and must make her own choices. This is also why her using the lamp might be meaningful:

Qrow: This last great creation would be given the power to both create and destroy. It would be given the gift of knowledge, so that it could learn about itself and the world around it. And most importantly, it would be given the power to choose, to have free will to take everything it had learned and decide which path to follow - the path of light or the path of darkness.

The whole point of the relics (and of the journey we are going through) is to learn about the world, about creation and destruction, so that in the end a choice can be made.

This is why the first relic we saw is the relic of knowledge. Now, Emerald is a character that has been dependant on others, so that she could realize her wishes. Aladdin itself is a story about a character depending on a Jinn to make his dreams come true. However, it is possible Emerald’s arc will be different and it will be about gaining the knowledge to act and realize one’s wishes.

On the other hand Mercury must face himself and learn what he really wants. He must start living instead of simply surviving. In a sense, he must take the soul his father stole back.

Mercury quoting Marcus: "This is a crutch!" "This makes you weak!"

Marcus was wrong. One’s individuality (semblance) does not make them weak. If anything, Marcus’s abuse of Mercury made him need a literal crutch (since he lost his legs) and the boy is still hiding behind this violence to avoid any real choice about himself. This is what prevents him from becoming strong:

Yang: You might be powerful, but that doesn't make you strong.

Raven: Who do you think you are, lecturing me?! Standing there, shaking like a scared little girl?!

Yang: Yeah, I'm scared. But I'm still standing here!

His connection with Emerald might still play a role in this. After all, Mercury is, among other things, the god of thieves and this allusion has been played with by making him protective of Emerald (whose surname means “thief”). It might be used in a deeper and more meaningful way later on.

Emerald and Mercury must grow because if they don’t, they’ll end up as their dark foils:

Both Hazel and Emerald ended up joining Salem out of a feeling of love that was twisted. Emerald joined Salem because of her loyalty to Cinder, who is using her. Hazel joined Salem because of the death of his sister that he blames on Ozpin. Their semblances are even symbolic of their respective flaws since Emerald is caught up in her own delusions, while Hazel is unable to properly grieve, so he can’t “feel pain” on more than just the physical level.

Both Mercury and Tyrian are assassins and Tyrian is who Mercury might become if he truly chooses to live only to kill and does not find a different goal.

It is also telling that both Emerald and Mercury are currently put in similar circumstances as their two foils. As a matter of fact Mercury is leaving with Tytian, while Emerald and Hazel have been given the password to use the lamp and must choose what to make of this information.

At the same time, Emerald and Mercury have also some traits of respectively Tyrian and Hazel as well.

Emerald is fiercely loyal to Cinder like Tyrian is to Salem:

Tyrian: So devoted to someone so incompetent.

Hazel wanted to protect Gretchen (and is still acting on these unfulfilled feelings of protectiveness) like Mercury is trying to protect Emerald. Moreover, Gretchen and (probably) Emerald’s choice was/will be to fight an enemy that can’t be beaten, going against Hazel and Mercury’s wishes.

All in all, Emerald and Mercury have had interesting interactions with both Hazel and Tyrian that can be (ironically) seen as two incomplete and flawed mentor figures.

On one hand Hazel has been acting as a protector of sorts. He carried Emerald when she lost consciousness after the Battle of Heaven and he tried to protect both Emerald and Mercury from Salem’s rage after their failure.

On the other hand Tyrian is seen tormenting the two kids whenever he gets the chance. That said, he ironically ends up spelling out for them truths the two must face:

Tyrian: Do what makes you happy children... please? I'm begging you...

Tyrian: Of course she is! You’re surprised? Salem is destruction incarnate! Our mistress wishes to see the end of it all! There is no ideal more beautiful.

In short, some kind of interesting foiling seems to have been set-up for the four of them and it will be interesting to see if/how it develops.

MIDNIGHT = BEGINNING OF THE END

In a sense, when the clock stroke midnight it was the beginning of Cinder’s end because she entered a spiral she has not been able to stop since then. Not only that, but she has dragged other people in that same spirals and those people are now struggling against it, just like her.

At the same time, midnight signals the end of illusions and that may be a fitting description for where we are in the story so far.

Ruby has just announced the existence of Salem to the world, Emerald is uncovering several truths about Salem, Cinder and herself and the Ace Ops are being forced to face their emotions. Of course, when some illusions end, new ones appear. However, it is clear we are in a pivotal moment, which will hopefully lead to some changes.

Similarly, Cinder, Mercury and Emerald will probably go their own ways soon and it will be interesting to see how their paths will foil and where they will meet again.

As for now, it seems that because of Emerald’s allusion to Aladdin, she might use the last question to Jinn. If so, she will probably aquire knowledge and wisdom (emeralds are the stones of wisdom apparently).

Mercury will probably spiral a little bit as for now, but I wonder if he will receive some pivotal focus in the Vacuo’s volumes. Other than him going there with Tyrian, there is also the fact that it would make what is currently just a juxtaposition with Penny (thank you, @hamliet​ for noticing) a more interesting foiling.

Penny is an artificial human, a creation who was given life because her father loved her so much that he sacrificed a part of his aura for her... twice. She is at the centre of the theme of creation and it represents the good sides of it. She is a creation with a soul, a child, the fruit of parental love. It is because of the love she received that she is willing to protect creation:

Penny: That is not… I choose to fight for people who care about me.

Penny’s arc is about self-actualization. She struggles to be her own person outside her role, her purpose and even her parent. However, even if she has been objectified and keeps being objectified, she has also been given affection and this is why she fights.

Mercury is her opposite. He was the target of his father’s violence. Marcus not only stole his legs (while Pietro built Penny a body), but even a part of his soul (while Pietro gave Penny a part of his). He taught Mercury hate and violence and this is why he is currently helping a witch to destroy the world. Because of this, it would be interesting for such a character to receive focus on the volumes about destruction.

Finally, Cinder, as the Fall Maiden, is linked to the theme of choice. This has already been explored a little bit in her being obessed by destiny, as said above. However, the theme of choice is one which must still be fully explored.

In particular, there are several references to choice and destiny when it comes to Cinder’s foil aka Pyrrha:

Cinder (about Pyrrha): Hmm... People assume that she's fated for victory, when she's really taking fate into her own hands.

Cinder: It's unfortunate you were promised a power that was never truly yours.

Pyrrha: When I think of destiny, I don't think of a predetermined fate you can't escape. But rather... some sort of final goal, something you work towards your entire life.

Red-Haired Woman: She understood that she had a responsibility... to try. I don't think she would regret her choice, because a Huntress would understand that there really wasn't a choice to make. And a Huntress is what she always wanted to be.

Pyrrha’s arc is about making a choice. She must choose if she wants to become a Maiden. She struggles, but in the end she accepts this responsibilty. She embraces her idea of destiny and tries to be a Maiden even without powers.

Cinder’s idea of destiny is not fully explored. In a sense, just like Pyrrha, she has taken destiny in her own hands. However, she also seems to use the idea of destiny to nurture her self-image as the Chosen One and as the Worthy One.

At the same time, Pyrrha’s choice led to her tragic death. Not only that, but in the end her death accomplished little. Even Ruby activating her silver eyes has more to do with her wish to protect life, rather than with death. Why is that so? It is probably because Pyrrha’s choice was made without knowledge. She had been explained only a fragment of the truth, while the whole point is that one should learn, meet creation and destruction and then make a choice. This is why we have yet to meet the relic of choice.

My guess is that the theme of choice will mostly be explored through Cinder’s character, who will be asked to choose her destiny in the end.

[lordabovehelpme]

Bath Time- Din Djarin x Reader

Summary: Mando finds you trying to give his son a bath.

Masterlist 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Bath time!” The little green child’s ears drop and he starts to waddle away from you. “Oh come on. It’s not that bad. Plus, you smell like a mudhorn!” You run after the child. He is surprisingly fast when he wants to be.

“Don’t you want to be all clean and nice when Mando get’s back?” The child stops at the name of his adoptive father, exactly as planned. You scoop him up before he can wiggle his way from you again. 

A large old container filled with warm water and floral scented bubbles waits for the womp rat, however, he wails and squirms in your arms. You start to untie his tunics and place him in the water. Albeit, the child continues to squeal. Even when you hand him his prized metal ball from Mando’s cockpit, he still whines.

“Shhh. Come on, do you really need to scream?” His little arms are splashing around in the water, soaking the front of your shirt. You sigh, how did Mando ever do this? You pick the child up and stare into his wet eyes. “How can we make this comfortable for you?” you ponder out loud. 

He stops crying for a second and grabs your shirt, pulling it towards the container below him. “You want me to…?” Still unsure of what he is trying to communicate. The child huffs and tugs your shirt again towards the water.

“Do you want me to get in with you?” You ask, unsure if this is what he wants. Pleased, the kid smiles and claps his hands. 

Well, he isn’t crying anymore and Mando should not be back for another hour or two so, why not.

You set the child in the water and take your clothes off before sitting in the container with him.

He laughs and hands you the metal ball before splashing around in the bubbles. Squeezing a blob of soap into your hand, you start to lather him. He doesn’t even flinch, perfectly content with splashing water out of the container. He babbles and giggles while you wash his little body, perfectly tranquil now.

He grabs at your wet hair and splashes some more. You laugh at how ridiculous this must look to anyone else. You and this small green child sharing a bath in an old container, playing with a piece of metal from the cockpit.

***

The Mandalorian returns early. 

He had gotten food and medical supplies from the local town. But, he couldn’t help but worry about his son and his new crewmate while he was gone. You had agreed to watch over the child while he was on bounties or just away. But he has started to take quite the liking to you. You’re so nice and compassionate to not only the child, but him as well. It boggles his mind everyday how you can be so cheerful all the time, completely different to the people he is used to affiliating with.

His thoughts come to a halt when he hears water splashing and giggles. He peeks his head into the main room of the Crest. There you two are, in all your glory; water surrounding the container and the scent of roses filling his helmet.

He watches as you toss the metal ball over the child's head. His son is full of joy while he is trying to catch the ball from your hands. The Mandalorians heart flutters as your laughter bounces off the walls of the ship. His chest swells with adoration at the sight, tricking himself into thinking you’re his. He shakes his head and scolds himself as his mind creates domestic scenarios: you cooking for his family, you sleeping in his bed, and you carrying his children.

***

You’re giving the child and yourself bubble beards when you look up and see him.

“Mando!” Water splashes outside the container as you sink under the water. The child coos and giggles from the soft waves your sudden movement causes. The Mandalorians cheeks grow beet red, matching the color of your own. He walks by and into the cockpit, cursing himself for getting caught. Thank goodness for his helmet.

However, to you, he seems unfazed as he walks by.

***

Dressing back into your clothes, you slip a towel around the child and dry him. You’re still embarrassed about the Mandalorian seeing you. The child's eyes start to drop and he is starting to get fussy. “Time for bed, hmm?” You clothe him and rock him in your arms, singing a faint lullabye. Immediately he falls asleep. You sigh as you place him in his pod, wishing you could sleep away all your problems.

Well, you have to face a certain bucket head sometime anyway, might as well get it over with. Climbing up the ladder, you sit in the co-pilot seat. Mando is in the pilot's chair, hands hovering over buttons and levers even though the Crest is in autopilot. 

You had asked him once why he is so insistent on piloting even when auto is on. He had stated that it makes him feel safer to know what is always going on and that he will never be able to truly trust the system.

“I’m sorry.” You’re not sure if he actually spoke or you’re just making things up. “I should have knocked.” His visor is still facing the stars, giving no clue to if he’s actually speaking or not. “I didn’t see anything.” That you know for sure he said. Your face heats up and you can see how red you are in the reflection of his helmet. But, for some reason you’re almost disappointed at his confession.

“Would it be so bad if you had?” The words leave your mouth before you can stop them. 

His head whips to face you, tilting to the side in thought, or maybe shock. 

You can’t form coherent thoughts, absolutely mortified with yourself. Of all time, why does your flirt have to kick in now? 

This is exactly opposite of how you thought this day was going to go.

“That depends on you, cyar’ika.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I love me some soft baby yoda action! 

I hope you all liked it! 

Love, Lordy

[mrslittletall]

1 for Ashen One and Anri

Title: Burning Loneliness (Sicktember Prompt 1) Fandom: Dark Souls 3 Characters: Anri of Astora, Ashen One Word Count: 1.459 AO3-Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33617680

Summary: Anri has been separated from Horace in the Catacombs of Carthus. While they search for him, their doubts as well as a fever catch up to them.

(Author's note: It isn't common for Undead or Unkindle to have like a common cold or anything, so I made the illness of Anri a bit more meta in this piece. Normally I like to use they/them pronouns for Ashen One, but because I already use them for Anri and because Horace uses he/him pronouns, I changed my mind, so we have a he/him Ashen One in this piece.) @sicktember

Where’s Horace?

That was the only thought on Anri’s mind when they limped through the Catacombs of Carthus. It wasn’t the first time the two of them had gotten separated. Like always, Anri had marked the way with prism stones, but this time, something was amiss. Horace hadn’t come back… it was the first time ever that he hadn’t found his way back to Anri.

Anri knew that they should trust Horace, he was a strong competent warrior, he would be fine, but there had been this bad feeling deep inside their chest and they had abandoned their meeting point to search for him.

It turned out to have been a mistake. The skeleton warriors of the catacombs had done a number on them. Now they were out of Estus and far away from the next bonfire. The latest wound they hadn’t been able to heal, a slash across their ankle and the mud and dirty water in the catacombs, plagued with rats, didn’t make the wound better. In fact, it was hurting a lot, Anri was barely able to even put weight on this foot anymore.

The worst thing however, was how hot Anri felt. It wasn’t the comforting warmth of the embers that the unkindled ones experienced when they used an ember, this felt like they were straight up burning up. The heat arised from the injured foot and wandered through their whole body, making them feel hot and sweaty under their helmet, the one that once was worn by the elite knights of Astora.

If they didn’t know that removing their armour would mean certain death, they would rip it from their face, to get a bit of cool air into their face. If there even was cool air down here, the Catacombs of Carthus were rather humid and sticky, not a nice place to be in after the swamp, which poisoned a person just by walking in it. Lothric truly was a cruel and merciless place…

Anri missed Horace’s company not only because they felt a lot safer with him around, they also missed his company because they felt awful. He always would stay with them and hold them until they felt better, it had always been like this when they still had been children and waited for their cruel fate… to turn into the next meal of St. Aldrich. Who thought that giving a man that feasted on children the title of Saint was a good idea?

Anri knew that they had to reach the bonfire soon if they wanted to stay alive. The Catacombs of Carthus were cleaned out for now, but it wouldn’t stay like this. The undead would slowly be reborn from the bonfire and then they would raise the skeleton warriors again with their sorcery. In their state Anri wasn’t able to fight them…. and they feared that their next death would be final.

If only Horace would be here. Horace always gave them hope and they knew they would come back just for him, as long as Horace would be there, the hollowing wouldn’t grasp them, but right at this moment, Anri could feel the hopelessness spreading through them.

If they died here, it was very likely that they would turn hollow and then Horace would only find an aggressive beast trying to kill him instead of the loyal companion that he expected. Anri wouldn’t and couldn’t do that to Horace.

What if Horace is hollow? Their mind whispered to them. You know it is a very real possibility.

Anri didn’t want to think about it. Horace would come back. He always did. He couldn’t be hollow. Like them, he wouldn’t force them to the ordeal of taking the life of their best friend and most loyal companion. He couldn’t be hollow.

But why couldn’t Anri find him then…?

They felt like they were at the end of their rope. The pain was too much, the exhaustion took over, their body burned up. They couldn’t take another step anymore.

Horace was the only thing on their mind when they collapsed on the ground, the muddy water splashing around them, staining their armour even further.

They were barely aware of the fact that someone grasped them and hove them up, carrying them away. For some reason, instead of being scared or trying to fend for their life, they let themselves fall unconscious.

It was like they knew that they could trust the person who had picked them up…

When Anri awoke, it was next to the crackle of a bonfire. While the excruciating pain in their food had dumbed down and only a low throb remained, the heat in their body was still very prominent. They tried to prop themselves up on their elbows. There was a hulking figure next to them… could that be?

“Horace?”, they rasped out, though the moment they noticed that they still were wearing their helmet, they knew it couldn’t be Horace.

The figure turned around, clothed in full armour like them, but theirs was just a simple knight set. Anri had met this unkindled before. They had even asked him if he had seen Horace and to keep an eye out for their companion. He didn’t have a name, the curse having stripped him of almost all his memories, he simply had introduced himself as the Ashen One.

“Sorry.”, the Ashen One said. “I know you were expecting someone else.”

Anri was torn between relief and disappointment. Relief that it had been the Ashen One that found them and disappointment that it was not Horace.

“You don’t have to apologize.”, they said, lying back down on the ground. “I have to give you my thanks for carrying me to the bonfire. I fear otherwise I had been done for.”

“Don’t mention it.”, the Ashen One said, handing them a filled Estus Flask. Their own Estus Flask. “The bonfire took care of your wounds, but not of the infection. Isn’t it strange? The bonfire and the Estus flask can heal every wound, regardless how bad it is, but they can’t get rid of an infection… I fear you have to battle the fever yourself.”

A fever, of course. That had been the burning feeling, that was the burning feeling still coursing through their body. It had been so long ago that they had turned undead, they had forgotten how it felt to get sick. Anri accepted the Estus Flask and attached it to their belt with shaky hands.

“A fever… I forgot how much they can burn…”, they sighed.

“It can help if you put a washcloth doused in cold water on your forehead.”, the Ashen One said. “I wanted to do this for you, but… I didn’t want to remove your helmet without your consent.”

Despite how unwell Anri felt, they couldn’t help but smile. The undead often would conceal their faces to hide their signs of hollowing. It was very nice of the Ashen One to not remove their helmet without their consent.

Especially because they already showed minor signs of the hollowing.

“I don’t think you would scorn me if you know…”, they said. “Besides, we unkindled have to work together. That is why I always travel with Horace.” And because he was a very good friend… and made them feel less lonely.

Anri removed their helmet and sighed when some air caressed their face, which was red and sweaty from the fever. Their hair stuck to their forehead, wet from all the sweat.

“I feel honoured that you trust me enough to show me your face.”, the Ashen One said, getting out a ragged cloth and pouring a bit of Ashen Estus Flask over it. Despite the usual Estus Flask, the Ashen Estus Flask was cold to the touch and as soon as it hit Anri’s forehead, they felt a lot better.

All they could do now was wait. Wait for their body to get rid of the fever. They were safe at the bonfire, the hollows would never attack here, even if they got reborn from it, they just would walk back to where they had died. The bonfire was a sacred place for every undead.

Still, Anri was scared. They were scared of the loneliness in their heart, the loneliness that quickened their hollowing.

They didn’t want to be alone.

They raised a hand and nudged the Ashen One. As he looked at them, they asked: “...Will you stay with me until Horace comes back… or until I feel better?”

There was a slight pause before the Ashen One answered. Once he talked, his voice was warm, feeling similar to the embers that would warm the unkindled up.

“Of course.” (Author's note: And this was the first prompt for the Sicktember challenge in 2021. I had a lot of fun writing Anri and my interpretation of the Ashen One. Thanks so much for the request. I hope you enjoyed it.)

[generallypo]

in all sincerity, kim dokja makes me happy and he deserves to be so too :^(

incoherent yelling and sobbing under the cut. these fEELINGS will not be contained aaauuunnghhh. 

------

anyway i binge-read all 500+ chapters of ORV this week and i honest to god feel bad for this -- completely! fictional! aghhhh -- guy. in case you haven’t figured it out, the following is some spoilerly shit

i went in expecting a fun, brainless power trip fantasy for dudes with an isekai addiction. instead, it turns out ORV is actually a gigantic, self-deprecating prank on the entire genre itself. kdj plays more into the sad -- if high-functioning-- clown trope than the sexy, edgy, chuuni bastard type i was prepared to laugh at. there were -- gasp! -- female characters with personalities! parents (aka ADULTS who act like ADULTS) who actually survive and feature prominently! adorable children! a real sexy, edgy bastard! a power trio with amazing fashion! sexual tension and bickering! friendship! life and death bonding! 

*breathes in deeply* fouND FAMILYYYYYYY.

like, yeah, the plot around the first few arcs seems a little aimless, but the buildup is worth. the world-building is pretty decent. there’s discernible effort put into the fight scenes, and i can appreciate that. but -- but! what i stayed for were the characters -- namely, the fantastic OT3 of KDJ, HSY, and YJH -- who come together despite their initial rivalries and end up saving each other’s asses, like, every other day. granted, the other characters don’t get as much focus, and they do fall into certain character tropes.. 

but a trope done well is nothing i would gripe about. every significant character in ORV has a coherent, and more importantly, respectful take on their respective trope. maybe it’s because sing-shong is actually a married couple, but all the interactions between even minor characters are a convincing blend of awkward rambling, suggestive humor, sharp remarks, and casual banter. in other words, this cast of mostly working adults (plus a teen and two kids) talks like working adults. the relationships built throughout the story are, frankly, some of most realistic of its genre. sing-shong has managed to craft a dynamic that undoubtedly brims with fluffy fondness all around, but also drips with sarcastic tension, with unspoken urgency, with a wariness that softens into sincerity over the course of many, many chapters. it’s the kind of progression that makes even stock characters read like more than just the 2-bit villain or comrade or love interest. here, we have relationships both straightforward and not, strained or otherwise, romantically-oriented as well as decidedly the opposite -- and then numerous others scattered along the spectrum with the freedom to shift either way. 

it’s also an interesting point of note that our MC kdj actually does not end up with a stated romantic partner, much less a conventional heteroromantic harem. he gets teased about that fact from time to time, but it’s with less of the sleazy shonen locker room humor one would expect and more of the good-natured ribbing you’d find among friends or that one especially nosy auntie at the yearly family reunion. kdj is a grown ass man. in the background, i applaud his maturity, and he handles all the prodding like a champ. 

so instead of finding and fulfilling his horny, he builds himself a wealth of loving family. yeah, there are beautiful men and women around him. yeah, they unequivocally adore him. but they’re also adults, and they have priorities, too -- which are not so much finding a way to bang kdj’s brains out and more so simply keeping the damn guy alive. this is truly not ‘oblivious mc with his thirsty, sex kitten harem’. it just so happens that a guy proves himself to be unflinchingly gentle and capable in an apocalyptic setting despite his broken self-esteem, and lots of people find that attractive, romantically and platonically. 

it.. kinda makes sense? he’s a hard worker, thoughtful, and good with kids. kdj is the kind of guy you know would make a reliable partner, and anybody with eyes can plainly see and appreciate that. 

and it’s not that our MC’s a total brick wall. in fact, it’s likely the opposite, and he’s just too darned repressed to admit it. from what has been implied, kdj does indeed recognize and accept love, or at least a primitive concept of it. i like to imagine that the kind of love that he ends up seeking out simply manifests itself more easily as acceptance and safety, as warmth and a home of people to return to every day. even better, the people who surround him know this, and they give him exactly that. it’s refreshing, and honestly, really sweet.

(as a side note, i really, really do appreciate the cosmic bi energy radiating off of kdj, who canonically earns the title of being loved by all and is all but in name married to yjh and hsy. he also respects women and small children and honestly anyone who isn’t total scum to him or his family. i respect that.)

but the happy stuff aside, you know it it just ain’t ORV without the generous screaming dollop of angst. admittedly, there’s self-sacrifice, injury, lonesome wandering, more sacrifice, some epic fighting, reunion and confrontation. all of it is a lot to digest, sure, but never does it feel entirely hopeless, or truly, truly heart-clenching. ORV, up until the final act, is a mostly light read. you relax in your chair, thinking that nothing beyond this point can disturb you. 

yeah fucking right.

------

and then the beginning of the end arrives. when the squad finally break through to their ‘ending’, the scene that kind of breaks me is the reveal of the Most Ancient Dream. it ties so much thematically into the little tidbits that we get of kdj’s past, and it though it feels like almost a joke that the source of the goddamn apocalypse is a kid with bruises smeared across his skinny ass body -- it’s such a pathetic picture that it’s kinda poetic, actually. you’re left mystified but somewhat convinced, like a math problem explained halfway through. this.. child.. is a villain somehow, isn’t he?

and then 999th turn uriel speaks up, and she. just. hugs him. 

[[You are this universe’s most powerless existence, aren’t you.]] 

that. that gets me. kdj’s reaction immediately upon this revelation? absolute murder. seeing him essentially self-destruct upon realizing that all these people he’s surrounded himself with -- some who continuously proclaim their loyalty and affection for him throughout their journey, some who suffered eons of war and loss and trauma because of his existence -- not only forgive his younger self but smother him with unconditional acceptance and love is stifling, is too vulnerable and exposed and he simply can’t cope -- it’s so telling of his true mentality, of his crippling insecurity and crumpled sense of self-worth. kim dokja is a liar, through and through, so much that he fails, or perhaps refuses, to comprehend the veracity of others’ kindness and love towards himself. 

by some miracle, the events at the end of the world somehow resolve.. or so it seems. there is a departing train, a liberated team of ex-gods, and a child rousing from his slumber. in the aftermath, i am left shaking. somehow, despite the ending having been (happily?) reached, there’s still another chapter ahead. what is this witchcraft?

------

and then ah, yes -- the epilogue arc. i teetered on the edge of being critical for a little bit there -- is that display of deus ex machina, of sad, self-sacrificing nobility a bit too egregious to be acceptable? is this some wild last let-me-yank-this-outta-my-ass plot twist to drag out the chapter count? i sincerely thought that the arc before it would have been the finale. i was wrong. thank god.

anyways, as an answer to the above: no, and no. i stake my firm claim on the belief that the epilogue arc was meticulously planned out well in advance of its release, confusing and time-warpy as it is. i liked it. tremendously. even if it entirely invalidates all of kdj’s supposed development (”haha lol yeah sure i won’t sacrifice myself or anything anymore guys don’t worry about me” -- KDJ, at some point because he’s a lying rat bastard). actually, our beloved MC disappears for a large chunk of this arc, and i think it’s great. in his absence, the other characters not only go absolutely fucking nuts, but they have to figure out this new problem on their own, even if the lure of peaceful complacency in the newly saved Korea might convince them otherwise. 

and then the whole time paradox thing comes around. yjh goes to space, hsy saves the only life she can, and kdj grows up. the crew waits, holding onto their hope even if it bleeds them dry. sing-shong does a damn good job of illustrating their fraying calm, their lurking madness, the unseen but pervasive depression that seeps in from kdj’s absence. the kids lose their father, lhs and jhw lose their reliable leader figure, ysa loses a best friend and confidant, lsk -- as distant as she pretends to be from her son -- loses her only child. and then there’s hsy and yjh , who are essentially bereft of the other half of their existences. their pain is palpable, is grounded in the hopeless, gnawing frustration of an utterly meaningless victory. emotionally, ORV hits all the right -- if agonizing -- beats.

however, a story can’t sustain itself just through its pathos. i’m happy to say that ORV doesn’t drop the ball after the first milestone, and after all the hurt, the characters do leap straight back into action. even better, the plot holes actually do get patches, and the poetic cycle of writer, protagonist, and reader comes full circle by making use of all those supposedly throwaway characters from the myriad world lines. 

at the end of the road, there is a distinct sense of unity, of a delicate but undeniable cohesion to the world lines and their origins. sing-shong lets us guess a little here at the finish, but there’s just enough information to feel hopeful. maybe there never had been a definite start -- or finish -- to the story of kdj company, and... that’s okay. everybody ends up where they were meant to be, where they fought and struggled to reach. it’s.. almost like a happily ever after, if we’re allowed to dream of that.

------

now, i realize, this was all an orchestrated maneuver.

i’ll take it.

to me, all of this work sounds like someone put some serious thought into this behemoth of a plot. it cements the entire original premise of the story. it suggests -- but never explicitly confirms! -- the possibility that breaking free of the cycle is possible through the exact same system that sustains it. it’s terribly interesting -- and inspirational! with all the dramatic revelations and life-threatening scenarios  and the cast’s resigned acceptance of them that essentially make up ORV’s entire mood, there’s still that last hint of rebellious and righteous anger that lights up the whole damn nebula. it’s like the kdj company blasting away at the heavens just to yell into the nether: we’re not looking for the happy end, but the free one. stay alive.

it’s subtle, and yet it’s such an emotional gut punch. i came away with the most ruinous, frustrating, bittersweet sense of longing in ages. i pined. for these fictional darlings. god, i am weak.

so. yeah. ORV is pretty good. flawed, but ambitious and impressively thought out.  i’m stoked that the webtoon is making pretty good progress, even if it’ll take an eternity and a half to meet that monstrous chapter count. i’m still gonna follow it. hell yeah. 

------

(by the way the idea that secretive plotter and co are literally gonna take care of and raise baby kdj and spoil him and be the best friggin family a kid could ever want does things to me. protect him. he’s suffered too much. let at least one worldline’s version of him know happiness. and actually, aLL OF THEM DESERVE DOMESTIC BLISS TOGETHER IN A BIG OL MANSION WITH SUN AND FRESH AIR AND TENDER FAMILY MOMENTS UGH)

------

and there you have it, folks. you made it to the end. in the far, far distance, i’m cheering you on and crying my eyes out in gratitude. thanks for tuning in!

[britishassistant]

The Villainous Paranoiac Just Wants An Uneventful Holiday (Part 1)

This is not how you wanted to spend your break.

The school was supposed to be empty. Everyone except the Octavinelle trio was supposed to be gone.

Not to say you don’t enjoy your friends’ company but. No magic-using people means no magic-spewing overblots.

You were looking forward to just bringing the fairies their firewood and working on your winter homework while taking the first opportunity in a good long while to unwind with Grim and the ghosts. No investigations to worry about, no weird dreams to get worked up over, no overblots to frantically try and survive.

You wanted a break.

This? Marching 10km into the desert with the rest of Scarabia dorm for the third day in a row due to their leader’s looming psychotic breakdown? This is not a break.

Although...

There’s definetely something rotten in Scarabia dorm, you think to yourself as you watch Viper-senpai hand out skeins of water. Kalim-senpai had no problem using his unique magic yesterday, and yet today he acted like Grim had mortally insulted him when he asked for a repeat performance.

If the outburst had been after two or three other instances of Kalim-senpai using Oasis Maker and receiving what he felt were insufficient thanks for it, then his current attitude would make a little more sense. But taking umbrage after using it just once? And being universally praised by everyone else the rest of the day for it?

It doesn’t add up.

Even deranged behavior has some sort of internal logic to it, as Rosehearts-senpai and the Rules of the Queen of Hearts have taught you. Even with how nonsensical all 810 rules are, it’s rare to find a scenario where one rule actually conflicts with another— all of them usually work smoothly in tandem with the goal of having an orderly unbirthday party in mind.

Even if they do violate most forms of dignity and common sense.

Kalim-senpai’s behavior though? It’s erratic without rhyme or reason, bouncing from nice to mean and back again seemingly as he enters and exits a room. He insists you and Grim stay and participate in this asinine “training”, despite the fact that you both belong to a different dorm, and are technically rivals to Scarabia in Magift and exams.

If you didn’t know better, you’d say it’s almost like he’s trying to imitate Rosehearts-senpai before his overblot—and doing poorly at it.

And with how much Viper-senpai has been invoking parallels between the current situation and what happened back then...

The smartphone Crowley gave you is a cold, heavy weight in your pocket. Its charge ran out yesterday, which is unsurprising given how many times you dialed and redialed the dumb bird headmaster’s number only to be met with his voicemail. You can probably recite that stupid message by heart now. You’ve heard nothing from Ace and Deuce either.

One thing is clear; no one’s going to help you out of this mess but you.

“Kalim-senpai?” You brace yourself as you step towards him. “Can I ask you something?”

“What could you possibly question me about?” He barks, glaring down at you haughtily.

“Well, I was just wondering, what’s the point of all this?” You fight to keep your nerve as his posture stiffens. “I don’t mean any disrespect, none at all, but you do want everyone to do better in Magift and exams, don’t you? I was hoping you could explain to me how the parades and defensive magic training are supposed to do that. I apologize for my ignorance, I’m nowhere near as smart as you, but could you please tell me why we don’t just practice Magift and brush up on the class material inst—”

Your head’s ringing.

You think you hear faint yelling, though it sounds like it’s coming from somewhere far away.

Your cheek aches.

Numbness blooming into a sharp stinging throb that feels like it’s growing with every second that passes, burning hotter than the sun above you.

You cautiously poke your tongue against your teeth, but none feel loose, thank the Seven.

Damn, the desperate, near-hysterical thought flits through your head. Even a pampered rich boy like him has strength behind his hits, huh?

The rest of you is just trying to process what the Hell just happened.

“How. Dare. You?!”

Asim-sama looms over you, red eyes burning with fury.

It’s a fight to keep yourself from curling into a terrified ball under his gaze, tucking into yourself as though seeing less of you would abate the anger, the shouting, the hurt, like you used to when you were a child.

“You dare to question my methods, my leadership of this dorm?! You? A sniveling street rat leeching off my hospitality?! Do you know who I am?!” He rages. “I am Kalim al-Asim! I am the Head of this dorm! I don’t have to explain ANYTHING, justify ANYTHING to the likes of you!!”

You knew, you knew you were pushing your luck when you first asked, but you thought it would just be yelling, like it was before. You can handle yelling, nothing Asim-sama can say could ever be worse than what you’ve already heard.

You didn’t think he’d hit you.

You didn’t think he’d hit you.

You didn’t think—

“DON'T YOU TOUCH MY MINION, FGNAH!”

Your arm whips out almost on instinct.

You jolt forward slightly as Grim collides with it, hissing and spitting like he really was an irate cat, the flames in his ears flaring brightly enough that some detached part of you is worried about getting burned.

The other Scarabia students are reaching for their magic pens.

“Lemme at ‘im! Lemme at ‘im!!” Your friend howls, fighting to get past you. “Forget butt on fire, I’ll BURN IT TO A CRISP FOR HURTING MY MINION!! I'LL STEAL EVERYTHING YOU HAVE AND SELL IT FOR LUXURY TUNA!! THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR CROSSING THE GREAT GRIM—”

“No, Grim.”

Your friend halts in his flailing to stare uncomprehendingly at you. “But Yuu—!”

“It was my fault.” You say, trying to keep as much emotion out of your voice as possible. Tears and trembling only show weakness, only make them worse. “Asim-sama was just correcting me. He was right to do so. I shouldn’t have questioned him. I overstepped my bounds.”

Asim-sama sniffs. “At least you know your place. Be glad I don’t punish you anymore than this.”

“What?! He slapped you for asking a question, you can’t possibly believe—” You gather Grim into your arms and hug him close. You quietly thank the Great Seven you at least have him, trying to hide the quiver in your limbs by burying your face in his fur.

But that’s exactly why you can’t let him do this. It’s just the two of you, you can’t win against an entire dorm of wizards like you did against the ghosts. Maybe if Ace and Deuce and Jack were here...but it’s just you. You need to protect your friend in the only way you can. “We can’t win this. Please, Grim.”

You feel him grumble, then a paw carefully pushes at your forehead. “Hrm...I’ll show mercy for now, so geroff already. It’s too hot for you to keep hugging me like this, I’m cooking here fgnah.”

Despite saying so, he settles onto your shoulder, tail smacking your arm as it flicks irritably.

“If you’ll excuse me, Asim-sama.” You duck your head slightly. “I will remove myself from your sight and head back early as penance for my behavior. Once again, my deepest apologies for insulting you.”

Asim-sama gives you a curt, dismissive nod.

You turn and make your way through the crowd of Scarabia students, snatches of muttered conversations floating to your ears.

“How could he—?”

“Just for a question?”

“Isn’t that going too far...?”

“Unforgivable...”

“Prefect.” Viper-senpai takes you by the shoulder, turning you to face him. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” You reply monotonously, eyes on the sand below you. “Just...just need to be by myself for a bit.”

His lips purse and you can feel him study your face. He presses a full water skein into your hands. “Take this. Even if it’s not as cold as I’d like, it should help with the swelling some. Plus you need to stay hydrated out there.”

“Thank you, Viper-senpai.” You nod, keeping your eyes down.

“And Prefect?” He squeezes your shoulder, voice lowering only a fraction. “I am truly sorry about this. All of this. It will not happen again, you have my word.”

It would’ve been a nice apology, had you not caught a glimpse of a smirk on his face.

You nod, making sure not to outwardly react to that or to the way the whispers of the other Scarabia students turn from the condemnation of their dorm head to the exaltation of the vice dorm head. You begin following the tracks in the sand back to the main dorm.

The sun beats down on your back as you take a swig from the skein and pass it to Grim to drink from. He’s still grumbling about how you should’ve let him recreate his rampage at the entrance ceremony.

For your part, the distance and good company have let you pull yourself out of that headspace enough that you can try and look back objectively on what happened.

Your mind keeps circling back around to one question: why did Asim-senpai hit you?

Based on your interactions before this, Asim-senpai doesn’t seem to be the type to resort to physical violence as a first response, or even a last one. Which means something in your question likely backed him into a corner enough that the normally pacifistic dorm head felt lashing out physically was the only way to get you to stop.

...Like the fact that he couldn’t answer it?

Even when screaming abuse at you, his ultimate response was that he wouldn’t explain himself to you. Is that because he didn’t want to? Or because he couldn’t? Does Asim-senpai himself not know the reasons behind his own actions? But how can someone act without knowing or meaning to, without being under the influence somehow?

Under the influence.

People acted without knowing or meaning to thanks to being under the influence of Buchie-senpai’s Unique Magic during the Magift incident. But he went home, you saw him leave, so what...?

You pull out your notebook, flipping through the pages with sweaty hands until you get to your records of the testimonies from the incident. You scan through the testimonies from Scarabia students, hoping to find something, anything—

Oh.

Oh.

“Motherfucker.” You hiss, staring at the page in dismay. You are an idiot. You are the biggest idiot, you make Deuce look like a genuis, how could you forget about this?? It was only the key testimony that helped pinpoint Buchie-senpai and Savannahclaw as the culprits behind the injuries. And it explains so much— why you kept agreeing to stay here despite wanting to go back to Ramshackle so desperately, almost like your mouth was speaking without your consent.

“Minion?” Grim asks, pushing the water skein back onto you. “What’s wrong?”

You snap your notebook shut and slide it back into your pocket, taking another fortifying swig from the skein. “Grim? Think we can get back soon enough to work on the escape route in our room before the others arrive back for lunch?”

“If we pick up the pace a bit, yeah.” He hops back onto your shoulder. “But what’s the rush? We have all night tonight to work on it.”

“Let’s just say the sooner we can get out of here, the better.” You mutter, cogs and gears turning in your head as a tentative plan begins to form.

This is not how you wanted to spend your winter break.

[wienerbarnes]

Much Ado About Nothing (1/6)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2,726

Warnings: enemies to lovers, talk of wedding and marriage stuff

A/N: enjoy the first part and let me know what u think!

MAIN MASTERLIST | MUCH ADO MASTERLIST

The ride back to New York feels a lot longer than the ride to Croatia, Bucky decides. HYDRA wasn’t kidding around when they said cut one head off and two take its place, whatever. No matter how hard Earth’s Mightiest Heroes try, there’s another facility that pops up at one point or another.

Bucky tries to think positively; they should be off HYDRA duty, if they keep up the consistent schedule of finding a new facility every three or so months, for a bit now.

“What’s the first thing you guys are gonna do when you get back? I’m gonna get some hot chocolate from the little cafeteria in the main building.” Sam hums from the seat directly behind Bucky.

Bucky’s in the passenger while Steve pilots and he gives his own answer at the same time as Steve,

“Shower.”

“Propose to Sharon.”

A small pause for the boys to ensure they heard that correctly.

“Wanna run that by us again, Cap?” Sam pipes up.

“When we land, I’m going to propose to Sharon.” Steve repeats nonchalantly.

“Since when?!” Bucky asks. He knows for a fact that Steve and Sharon adore each other, but Steve has never brought up marriage once in the time he’s dated Sharon, and clearly he hasn’t done so to Sam, either.

“Listen, I know we haven’t been dating long, but I know I love her and I know she loves me, so, what’s the point in waiting?” He explains.

“Is this about what happened earlier, Steve?” Bucky asks, knowing his best friend all too well.

A bomb was in the facility, of course, and Steve and Bucky tried to disarm it while Sam rallied the rest of prisoners out of the building.

Now, while Steve has obtained most of his training through his serum-fueled muscle memory and military experience over the last few decades, he is extremely lucky. Steve has successfully disarmed twenty-nine bombs throughout his Avengers career. Not a single failure. With no bomb training.

So when he cut one of the wires confidently and the timer started ticking faster, it made him nervous. And it made him even more nervous when he clipped a different wire and the time counter automatically set to zero. He froze in shock and was lucky Bucky was able to fling the two of them out a window and away from the direct blast.

“Okay, so, yeah, maybe I got a little scared. But, listen, it’s not a lie that we lead dangerous lives. Why should I hold back on the things I want if I know tomorrow isn’t promised?” Steve defends.

“Steve, you can’t marry a girl because you’re scared of dying!” Bucky exclaims.

“I’m not marrying her for that, Bucky, I love her!”

“I know you love her, but -”

“But?! -”

“Alright, alright, listen,” Sam interrupts their sibling bickering, “If this is what you want, I’m with you 100%, Cap.” Sam reassures.

Steve gives a thankful smile and looks back to Bucky, hoping for the same.

“You know I’m always on board with you, you punk.” Bucky slaps a hand on his shoulder.

“Thanks, guys.”

“Ah, big man’s gonna be engaged!” Sam throws his hands on Steve’s shoulders, jostling his body in the tiny pilot’s seat, and Bucky joins in on the teasing.

“I’m gonna tell everyone to meet in the hangar for when you ask her.” Sam says, pulling out his phone.

“You’re not gonna tell the Geek, are you?” Bucky groans.

“Of course, I’m gonna tell her. I don’t know why you don’t like her, man.”

Bucky rolls his eyes at the thought of the little lab rat. Sharon’s best friend. A young girl, born and raised in New York though thoroughly traveled through your work experience. Been to over fifty countries offering your expertise to combat cyberterrorism and have helped locate some of the hardest-to-find and worst people in the world.

You act like you’re all that just because you’re considered one of the youngest geniuses in the country and one of the greatest hackers in the world as well as the Avengers’ best tech expert of all time.

Whatever, big whoop, Bucky could care less.

As the jet lands, hugs and cheers are exchanged as the group of friends reacquaint themselves once again after a long mission. After greeting everyone, Bucky hangs on the outskirts of the group, waiting to see how Steve is going to pop his big question.

“C’mon, punk, don’t lose your courage.” Bucky talks to himself.

“I don’t know if you noticed, Bucky, but no one’s listening to you. You can stop talking.” Your voice pipes up next to him.

“Oh, hey, Little Miss Geeky, don’t you have some codes to hack, or something?” He bites at you.

“I told you not to call me that!”

“I told you not to call me that,” Bucky mocks you in a higher pitched voice.

“Geez, how does anyone stand you around here? I don’t get how all the female trainees are infatuated with you.”

“They definitely kiss my ass because I train them and I have the final say on whether or not they move on to second-class training, but even if I didn’t,” Bucky turns to face you now, “They’d still love me because every woman here loves me except for you, it seems.”

“Doesn’t matter anyway, I’m not interested in getting involved with anyone or anything right now, I don’t even know I’m capable of that, anymore.” Bucky finishes.

“Women everywhere are lucky, then. You’d make a horrible boyfriend. I’m glad I have no need for romance, either.”

“Hopefully you keep it that way, any guy that ends up with your catty ass will end up with his face scratched up.”

“Well, if his face looks anything like yours, a good scratching would only make it look better.”

“Alright, alright, enough, you two. Can’t even be civil around each other for five minutes.” Sam interrupts, slinging each of his arms around both you and Bucky’s shoulders, shoving himself in between the two of you.

“She started it.”

“No, he -”

“Stop! He’s about to do it.” Sam shushes you.

“He’s about to do what -”

“Guys, guys, I want everyone’s attention.” Steve’s voice calls out, and everyone quiets down immediately.

Steve turns to Sharon, “Sharon, you are the most beautiful, the strongest, the kindest, and most amazing woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on.” He begins.

“I’ve known for a while now, and I know you have, too, that I love you with every fiber of my being. You make me a better Captain, and a better man every day I’m with you. I truly and deeply believe that you’re my soulmate and I won’t ever find another girl like you in my life. You’re all I’ve ever wanted. So, I don’t want to waste anymore time,” Steve lowers down onto one knee and a few gasps echo from the group.

Bucky sees you slap a hand over your mouth in shock and Sam sniffles beside him. A small smile appears on Bucky’s face, too.

“Sharon, will you make me the happiest man alive, and marry me?”

“Yes, yes, yes! Steve, yes I’ll marry you!” Sharon cries out, jumping into Steve’s arms as he stands again, and the group claps and cheers for them.

They share sweet kiss after sweet kiss, relishing in the new step in their relationship.

Sharon’s voice catches everyone in their celebration, though, “Let’s get married now!”

Collective what’s come from the group of friends that surround them, “Like you said, babe, let’s not waste anymore time!”

“Sharon, if you think you’re not getting the most gorgeous and lovely wedding you deserve, you’re mistaken.” You tell her.

“For once, I agree with Techie, Shar. I mean you don’t have a dress, Steve doesn’t have a tux; hell, the two of you don’t even have rings!” Bucky says.

“I can make it happen in a week.” Tony’s voice booms from the group. Everyone looks to him.

“I can get you guys rings, I can get Sharon a dress, and Steve a suit, I can set up the smaller ballroom for a pre-wedding party for everyone tonight and get the bigger ballroom ready for a wedding by next Friday.” Tony offers.

“Consider it a wedding gift.” He smiles.

Sharon and Steve look to each other before looking back at Tony, “Next Friday it is, then.”

The group goes back to congratulating the newly engaged couple as well as conversing about the future wedding.

...

“Hey, did you guys hear about the rumored wedding?”

Bruce Banner pipes up in the empty lab after returning from downstairs. Well, not empty, of course, but empty of you, the intern’s tech leader in their internship.

“What idiot would want to get married, nowadays?” John pipes up.

The only reason he’s here is because his step-brother, Sam “The Falcon” Wilson insisted on getting him this internship gig. Everyone was always saying how he wasn’t going to live up to his big brother’s legacy, and he hated the fact that that was only ingrained into his existence further by the fact that Sam got him this position.

“Your brother’s best buddy.” Clint Barton enters and answers. Always roaming around the building, he is.

“What, that pretty boy, Steve?”

“That’s the one.” The archer confirms and plops himself down in a spinning chair.

“Huh. And I guess he’s marrying that pretty girlfriend of his? When did this happen?”

“That he is. It happened just downstairs now that they’ve returned from that mission. There’s a party tonight to celebrate.” Banner informs him, hoping the sound of a party will liven the kid’s spirits a bit.

Banner can see the kid’s frustration in living in his brother’s shadow - or feeling like so - and hopes that allowing him the opportunity to make some good memories will make his time here feel a little less miserable. Despite the connection to his brother, John’s incredibly smart for a nineteen-year-old, a teenager, and deserves to have a little play among all his work.

“Hmmm. I think I’ll go. Who doesn't love a good party, right?” John says, satisfying both Avengers in the lab with him.

Meanwhile, John’s fantasizing, he’s going to get into trouble around here.

…

Sharon, Tony, and you sit around a small table in the cafeteria while Sam waits for his hot chocolate across the room.

“If only I could find a guy in between Steve and Bucky. Steve’s too vanilla and Bucky’s too… Bucky.” You say.

“Keep thinking like that and you won’t find anyone.” Tony tells you.

“Well, good. I pray everyday that God doesn’t send me a husband. Ugh, and especially not a guy like Steve or Bucky; I can’t stand those beards.”

“Maybe you’ll find a husband that shaves.” Sharon offers.

“I know I’m not hearing my darling Geeky and husband as topics in the same conversation.” Sam finally joins with his cup of hot chocolate.

“You’re right, you’re not. I’ll start looking for a husband when they make men out of something other than trash. Speaking of which, I know Steve is America’s Golden Boy, or whatever, but you make sure he treats you right.” You say.

“I second that.” Sam agrees.

“I third it.” Tony follows.

Sharon laughs, “Guys, guys, I appreciate it, but I don’t need you guys to have that talk with me, Steve is amazing, and you all know it.”

“Yeah, yeah, anyway, I’m going to go shower for the party tonight, I’ve been holed up in the lab all morning.” You stand and go to exit the cafeteria.

Bucky’s way ahead of you in that aspect, following through with what he said on the jet and retreating up to his room to shower as soon as the congratulations were given to the happy couple.

Showering is a special ritual Bucky follows after a rough mission. Of course, everyone showers after a mission, but Bucky makes his post-mission showers extra special.

He double shampoos both his hair and his beard, lathering them up with a smooth conditioner after, while he washes all the dirt and gunk from his body with a lavender and grapeseed oil body soap.

He applies a face mask while he cleans up any wounds he might’ve sustained on the mission, as well as polishing and scrubbing his metal arm clean. Once he’s finished, he painfully reminds himself that he can’t just sleep for the next sixteen hours. He has to get ready to go to a party.

He sighs to himself, “Let’s get this over with.”

…

Everyone in the ballroom is dressed to the nines for the last-minute engagement party. There’s music, dancing, drinks, and just about everyone that works in the tower is in that room.

The group of friends all find each other eventually, and of course all of the attention is on the future bride and groom. Talk of colors and themes and cakes all overwhelm the couple - the question of whether or not Sharon will wear a garter makes Steve blush.

Quite honestly, they’re on the verge of just eloping downtown and saying to hell with all the parties and festivities.

“Okay, okay, can we talk about something else? I don’t want all this wedding stuff to be the only thing I hear about for the next seven days.” Sharon finally interrupts.

“Okay, what do you want to talk about, Miss Bride-to-be?” You ask.

“Well, how about when you’re going to find yourself a husband?” Sharon teases her friend, knowing how much she despises talking about her own love life, or lack thereof.

“Oh no, absolutely not, not this again. I’m going to get a drink.” You wave her off, stepping away from the group and making your way back towards the open bar.

“I hope I didn’t arrive just as we were talking about relationship stuff.” Bucky says as he arrives and finally finds his friends.

“I’m afraid you did.” Natasha confirms beside Sharon.

“In that case, I’m gonna follow Geeky’s lead and get a drink; I’ll certainly need one for that conversation.” Bucky excuses himself, the shadow of his dark blue suit follows the flow of your navy gown worn tonight; you surely matched by complete accident.

“Imagine if they were married.” Sharon thinks aloud to Natasha.

“Who? Barnes and Geek-a-Chic? Please, they’d kill each other within a week of being married.” Natasha argues.

“I hope y'all aren’t talking about our Barnes and Techie, because there’s no way in hell they’d be caught dead with each other like that.” Sam butts in, Steve by his side.

“C’mon guys, think about it. It’s like opposites attract and all that. Plus, I think they are the only people that are a match for their own wits.” Sharon explains.

“I don’t know, babe. They’re constantly at each other’s necks; I don’t even think they’ve had a normal conversation with each other without insults or bickering.” Steve says.

“I suggest we do the impossible.” Tony interrupts, clearly having had a few too many drinks.

“While we wait for the wedding to come, we are going to set those two up together.” He hiccups.

“Tony, you’re crazy.”

“That’ll never work.”

“I’m with it!” Sam shouts, excited to play along and work with Tony on his shenanigans.

“Atta boy, Sammy! C’mon, Sharon? Nat? Steve? Where’s Clint, I know he’ll be on board with this.” Tony whips his head around in all directions looking for the archer.

“C’mon, guys, it’ll be fun! The worst that can happen is that we fail.” Sam tries to convince.

“I think the worst that can happen is that we succeed! Imagine Barnes and her together!” Natasha exclaims.

“I just want her to be happy. She deserves a good boyfriend and husband.” Sharon says sweetly, Sam words slowly convincing her.

“I agree.” Steve chimes in, wanting the best for his own best friend as well.

The five of them turn towards the bar to see Bucky and their favorite tech nerd pushing and shoving at each other’s shoulders, clearly fighting about something once again.

“Alright, I’m on board. Let’s do it.” Natasha finally agrees.

John watches the happy friend group from a distance. He sees his brother smiling and laughing with his friends; his famous, talented, skilled friends, his friends who are soon going to be married and live happily ever after.

Not if he can help it, anyway.

[charmspoint]

what i know abt qifrey from u talking abt him uhh ok so he's genuinely just a nice guy but also he's evil and irredeemable but also he's literally just a pleasant gentleman

I know ur not asking for a rant about this but by god ur gonna get it.

So the thing is, I don't think Qifrey is evil or irredeemable at all. We joke around the fandom (at least i hope its mostly jokes) that he's evil and crazy but he's really not. If id have to pin Qifrey on a morality spectrum I'd say morally gray but leaning towards the good.

Did Qifrey do some messed up stuff? Yes, fo sure. But I've always gotten more of an impression that he's teetering towards the edge and not completely over it. He does do damage but so far he's mostly made sure that damage was extremely localized and not actually harming other people (I talked about before how Qifrey's own memory erasing spell seems weirdly specialized compared to what we were brought to believe memory erasing spell actually does when used by anyone else).

But now comes the question

Do I think Qifrey will get worse?

Yes, 100% I believe this is where we are going towards, I said before that I'm p convinced he will become some kind of obstacle for Coco down the line.

Qifrey is going through a LOT rn. He's already got ptsd from, you know being stripped of his identity, buried alive, almost drowned and then remembering he was experimented on like a lab rat, but now it's getting worse. Before he could at least relay on the fact that even though his past was horrible, his future was bright. He genuinely loves his job, he loves his girls, he loves teaching. This monolog gets me every single time

Now he's losing his future, he's losing not only his eye, but the whole identity he built out of nothing, he's losing his teaching position, he's losing his kids, he's losing Everything he gained after he had already lost Everything.

It leaves him rushing against an uncertain time limit, desperate, stumbling, sloppy. I don't think he's thinking straight anymore, not really. I think he's convinced he is being methodical and calculating but in actuality he's stumbling forward, grasping at straws, unable to hold on to anything but his need for revenge and the empty words that his actions aren't only for his own sake.

It's all very striking, in his relationship with Olruggio in particular. Olruggio is very clearly supposed to be the guiding light for Qifrey, the one who pulls him back when he goes too far, the one who helps him resist the growing darkness. It's very meaningful how as Qifrey continues on his path he makes sure Olruggio doesn't even know about it. He said it himself, if Olruggio knew, he'd try to save him. He'd try to bring Olruggio to light again and Qifrey doesn't WANT to be saved, he has decided on a road he wants to take and he won't allow anyone to change his course. Not even Olruggio.

So do I think Qifrey is evil?

No

Do I think he'll get worse?

Yes

Do I think he'll become evil?

Not really

See here's the thing. Qifrey's desperation, how quickly he's trying to work through this, how determined he is to throw everything else under the bus if he could just achieve his goals? All of that is dictated by the fact he's running out of time, the fact that once he loses his eyesight he can no longer be a witch. Eyesight is VERY important to witches since magic is a very visual art. We've seen with Tartar how something as seemingly miniscule as color blindness can basically doom someone, causing everyone around them to say they can't become a witch without good eyesight. So complete blindness is a death sentence to a witches career. Now, it's funny how a lot of the Coustas and Tartars arc has to do with adjusting the world to disability and not the person to the world. How it's made pointed, over and over again, that people with disabilities shouldn't be written off but given proper tools that will help them function, how the world should adjust to be a more comfortable place for all kinds of people and not just those who are already adjusted to it. Without the threat of his eyesight going out and cutting his whole identity into bits, Qifrey wouldn't have to act like this, he would be able to sit and think and not rush and if he still wants to pursue brimhats he could do it more safely for himself and everyone else because the desperation factor would be gone.

So what I think is going to happen is that Qifrey will lose his eyesight but won't lose his standing as a witch because he, Olruggio and the kids will figure out how to make magic accessible to him.

Now there's of course a bunch more unaccounted for variables which I'll probably have a better grasp on after the current arc is done being translated. Ininia and Lord Restis represent a very interesting development because they are brimhats introduced specifically via healing injuries. The rule of 'medicine magic isn't allowed cuz it's a slippery slope' has been there since the beginning of the series and a big thorn in the 'yeah the witch world rules are good and fair' side cuz of course, everyone thinks healing people should be allowed. Now the brimhats we've had so far were fully ready to attack and experiment on children's bodies in order to further their own goals so of course that immediately leaves you disliking them and not putting much account into their rhetoric even though it does make sense at times, but ur not gonna listen to ppl experimenting on kids. That's why I think Ininia and Lord Restis are interesting, cuz if they aren't literally attacking children they might get a good case in about medicine magic being allowed. I think we are going towards at least some sort of medicine magic becoming acceptable considering Tartar's arc. But then the question is, if some sort of medicine magic is approved, will it be used to heal disabilities cuz like...that would kinda suck. I would much rather have a 'world should be adjusted so disabled people can participate in it equally' narrative rather than the 'just heal the disability with magic lol' narrative. But honestly this whole paragraph is pure speculation because the arc isn't fully translated or even fully out yet but I sure af am LOOKING at it. I think it will be v important in understanding where the story is going to go. I just hope Shirahama does a good job with it, but honestly she never once let me down up until now so I'm feelin positive.

Circling back to Qifrey, I do think he's one of the kindest, most understanding, most lovable characters I've had a joy of reading and studying. But he does have a black hole in him that is pulling apart all that kindness, leaving him a shattering shell. I don't think he's evil, I don't think he'll ever become truly evil and despite what he's done I don't think any of what he did is irredeemable, especially with how careful he tends to be not to take away from people more than he has to to further his own goals. But I do think that hole will eat at him more and more and that before he can get better somebody will have to notice it and help him plug it up. Olruggio noticed and Qifrey refused the help, convinced that he can't be helped, not in the way he needs. He will need proof that he can keep his future before he can ease up on the frantic hunt after his past

[camelotsheart]

Alright. I’m watching 1x11 and trying a new way of liveblogging. Which is just me writing random paragraphs. Enjoy.

A creature of magic mourning the loss of a creature of magic 😭

“Arthur is a hunter. It's in his blood. Whereas you are something entirely different.“ reminds me of “He is a weapon, a killer. Do not forget it. You can use a spear as a walking stick, but that will not change its nature.“ “You are wrong.” Especially with the way that Arthur then proves what is in his heart by the end of the episode, and how his ‘heart’ is shown to constantly guide him towards the ‘correct’ choice in s5 (e.g. “My heart says do anything I can to save Mordred.“)

“You've got a face like a wounded bear ever since we got back from that hunting trip." Arthur means bear. I have no idea what to do with this information.

The unicorn as a metaphor for those sorcerers who “do no harm” and thus Camelot serves no purpose in killing them. Especially since people like the Disir and Alator describe the purge as a “hunt”.

The drought serving as a parallel to the events that happened before the purge to Uther, in that Arthur sees all the harm that “magic” is doing to the land and his people, just like Uther witnesses Ygraine’s death. Arthur initially refuses to accept that what happens is caused by him, just like Uther does. But unlike Uther, Arthur is able to acknowledge his mistakes given time (it’s interesting how in the book adaptation of 1x02 merlin makes this comparison too)

“If it is magic, it's more powerful magic than I possess.“ So unicorn magic is more powerful than Merlin’s magic. Would dragon magic be more powerful too? Is that why Merlin couldn’t heal Arthur from the poison of Mordred’s sword tha was forged in a dragon’s breath?

Merlin not understanding hand signals is my life 😂💖

Ok I can literally draw so many parallels between Anhora and Arthur’s first conversation, and Nimueh and Uther’s conversation in 1x09. Especially from how both Arthur and Uther seem completely unable to understand how the ‘curse’ that happened to Ygraine and Camelot was technically their fault.

“And could you bear for your children to see you be executed?“ The way in which Arthur says this breaks my heart because he does understand the feeling of blaming himself for the loss of a parent, just like those hypothetical children would. This is highlighted more by the fact that Evan later plays on Arthur’s insecurities about being his father’s son.

“If you're tested again, you have a chance to end your people's suffering. I know you want that more than anything." Reminds me of what Bradley says about Arthur putting Camelot above everything, even his personal relationships. Compare this to Lancelot and Merlin, who’s “something that is more important than anything” is a person (or people, in the case of Lancelot).

I LOVE S1 MORGANA. S1 AND 2 MORGWEN WOULD HAVE MADE A PERFECT QUEEN DUO FIGHT ME.

Merlin’s face when Arthur says he’s going to the forest to seek Anhorra out 🥺 Also the way he looks back like he wants to see the exact moment Arthur figures out that he’s eating rat meat 🤣 Merlin’s sarcastic little nod. Arthur’s shit-eating grin. This is what I mean by sibling dynamics.

AND THEN THEY TURN ON MORGANA ASDJSAJASLDKKLDJSA. MERLIN. ARTHUR. NO 🤣🤣🤣

“The King must wonder if you are even his son.“ I absolutely do not like how Anhora chose to do the test with Evan here. I hate it. But it does prepare Arthur for a lot of things. It prepares him to do things his father normally would not do. It prepares him to ignore when people compare him to his father (not that it worked with Agravaine, but Arthur does eventually come around most of the time with Merlin’s help). I find it like a mini 5x03 in a way. Also the fact that Arthur doesn’t even try to defend himself by saying that the looter would have been executed by the law of the land anyway; because deep down he knows that reasoning is wrong. What needs to be changed currently is Arthur’s arrogance in regards to his honour, not his internal morals. He has already proven his internal morals with saving Mordred, laying down his life in 1x09, as well as rescuing Ealdor and his reaction to finding out Will was a sorcerer in 1x10. Right now, Arthur needs to be able to accept that he is wrong.

“Besides I would rather starve than beg my enemies for help! What of our kingdom's reputation? Have you no pride?” “I cannot think of my pride when our people go hungry. They're all I can think of.” I’m screaming over the fact that what ends up beating sense into Arthur is his love for his people. I want to cry. He loves his people so much that his battle cry is “for the love of Camelot” 😭❤️

“Very well. But if you'd caught the sorcerer, I would not have to. That's your responsibility! One day you will understand what it takes to be King!” One day, Uther, you’ll learn to blame yourself for other people’s suffering.

“My people are starving. Camelot is on the verge of collapse. And it is all my doing.“ IT DIDN’T EVEN TAKE ARTHUR A DAY TO LEARN THIS I WANT TO CRY 😭 FUCK YOU UTHER YOU DON’T DESERVE ARTHUR AT ALL. (also the fact that Arthur fiddles with Ygraine’s ring as he says this 😭❤️)

“I trust Arthur with my life” the fact that arthur proves that trust right both in this episode by drinking the goblet and in the previous episode by admitting that he “of course” would not kill Will despite thinking he was a sorcerer.

Why the hell does Anhora use a sword to cast the vine spell.

“I thought I told you to stay at home.” Every time Arthur calls Camelot ‘home’ for Merlin I 🥺

Are those carvings... horseshoes...? Making the shape of a heart....? I--

(Sorry guys. By this point it’s 200% certain that my shipper brain is going to take over. Please expect a lot of screaming)

“What kind of ridiculous test is that? What does that prove?” “What it proves is for you to decide.” Which means that by the end, Arthur realizes what this test proves. And he proves what is truly in his heart by sacrificing his life for merlin. Remember “To sacrifice his life to save Gwen’s... I can’t imagine any man loving me so much.” “I certainly can’t imagine that either” “That’s because you’re not like Merlin. He’s a lover” “Yeah? Maybe that’s because I haven’t found the right person to love”. Remember how in the book adaptation this episode, it says that Arthur proves that there is love in his heart by giving his life for Merlin? Remember “there was magic at the heart of Camelot”? Remember how in the book version Arthur doesn’t deny having love in his heart when Anhora says so when the Unicorn lives again, and instead turns his head to smile at Merlin--

“I’m glad you’re here, Merlin.” @thebookluvrr1816​ More 1x11-finale parallels to scream about 😭 The book version describes Merlin’s surprise at this statement, and how he thought it was “ironic and unfair” that they understood each other "at the very moment that death was about to tear them apart.”

“No, I will drink it!” “As if I’d let you.” Someone stop these dollopheads from having a domestic about who will die for the other i beg

“You know me, Merlin. I never listen to you.” reminds me of “I’m the king Merlin, you can’t tell me what to do.” “I always have. I’m not going to change now.” Also, in the books Arthur actually says “farewell, Merlin” after this. Book Arthur is way more suave just saying.

HOW ARTHUR LOOKS INTO MERLIN’S EYES IN HIS FINAL MOMENTS UNTIL HE ISN’T PHYSICALLY ABLE TO ANYMORE. SOMEONE HELP ME 😭

“This was Arthur's test, not yours.“ idk but this reminds me of the fisher king saying “For this is not Arthur's quest, it is yours.“

“You've killed him! I was meant to protect him!” This is going to sound harsh but by this point I think Merlin was still putting Arthur’s destiny above Arthur himself. In the books, there’s a distinct difference in how he feels about Arthur’s death in this scene compared to 1x13 (I’m amazed at how fast his feelings changes, actually). Here, I feel like he focuses more on his own failure to protect Arthur as part of his destiny, but in 1x13, he says that the idea of destiny not being fulfilled was nothing compared to the idea of not being by Arthur’s side. I wonder what happens between this and 1x13 for Merlin’s feelings to change so much.

THIS HAS PROBABLY BEEN STATED MULTIPLE TIMES BEFORE BUT “HE HAS PROVEN WHAT IS TRULY IN HIS HEART“ AS THE CAMERA FOCUSES ON MERLIN. PRODUCERS YOU AIN’T SNEAKY.

Merlin’s smile as he looks down at Arthur sleeping 🥺

Arthur looking at Uther’s hand on his shoulder as if he’s trying to identify a foreign object 🙂 I can never say this enough but fuck you Uther.

“When he who kills a unicorn proves himself to be pure of heart, the unicorn will live again.” this is a stretch but it reminds me of “when Albion’s need is greatest, Arthur will rise again.”

And that’s done! I have a small meta that ties the theme of Arthur and magic in this episode to the same themes in 1x10, but I might do it on a separate post since this one is already so long 😂

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, SE03, Ep3

This ep is exactly like se02, ep 24, meaning it was divided clearly into two parts. While the graduation theme unties the two parts, you can point things out exactly like ep,24:

1st part : Machi’s story= the important part.

2nd part: scattered parts here & there that concern yuki, ep, 24 his interactions with akito, here his interactions with Motoko).

plus, an ep cliff hanger: (e, 24 the dvd given to kureno, here, Isuzu’s mysterious fate).

it is exactly the same even a small kyo/tohru moment!. School graduation instead of the zodiac’s new year gathering. 

Really awkward pacing, but that’s furuba, we celebrate when they DO connect dots for once! lets talk abt the REAL ep: MACHI.

-Machi’s awkward presence:  

Although I love Machi, I’ve voiced my concerns abt her character in Furuba:

It seemed that Machi was solely created to be a step in yuki’s success journey more than a character on her own right. After getting motherly love (tohru) leaving the nest, Yuki needed friendship (kakeru), then as an independent man, he needs romantic love: (Machi). This is all fine initially but I was yearning for more individuality for Machi as a character. All furuba characters were given space to be unique including minor characters like Motoko who narrated her own story each time she’s on screen & we lived it with her within two seasons & a number of eps.

 However, Machi’s background was introduced thro her brother’s exposition in se02 & that moment was a yuki/ kakeru bonding moment.

Thro kakeru’s exposition  we learned how similar yuki & machi are (the parental neglect, high expectations, cold sibling relationship, Big brother saves himself by himself, big brother pushing for redemption & the younger sibling’s still trapped silently ). While that makes for romantic appeal between the two which makes the writer’s job easier, it steals from Machi individuality.

Then her part in ep, 24 was shown & I was given hope for Machi’s individuality as her own inner voice spoke volumes abt her as a person away from yuki (romantic interest) or Kakeru (big brother). Having a lot of screen time, while can make a character more believable to the audience, is never a factor in character’s depth nor individual worth. Heck! kyo (part of the main trio & the main character’s love interest) has only ONE ep in se02 to explore his issues & by far it is my fave ep in se02 as it established kyo’s trauma, psyche, mental issues & emotional baggage better than I could ever imagine! You can DO WONDERS with little time if you knew what to do. That’s what happened with Machi this ep (half ep).

-Machi’s shines! (trauma & romance):

I was so relieved to learn that altho both Machi & yuki despised perfection as it suffocated them, the writer (thankfully) went abt a different approach with Machi. Unlike Yuki who went silent cuz he felt his voice didn’t matter as he was used as a tool, Machi went silent cuz she was was NOT needed, & not only discarded but painted as WRONG. If you admit that raising me this way is wrong, then what does this make me? What should I do with myself? I’m wrong! boring, a failure, & a presumed killer!! all while I was absolutely doing my best! all while I was having good intentions! It is devastating but It makes Machi real. A character on her own right with her own trauma, struggle, pain & outlook on life. Although, the writer made the whole yuki/Machi meeting orchestrated by Kakeru to quickly make the two siblings one step closer, it worked cuz kakeru chose to not interfere after setting the scene. He played a subtle mach maker & tried to find happiness for his sister silently. Kakeruy is yuki’s best buddy & Machi becoming the girlfriend, the trio will have to hang out more which will slowly but surely warm Machi towards Kakeru. While the flat visit is the part where Machi open the lid to Yuki with a spark of romance at the end, the chalk scene is the romantic part! Not only did Yuki noticed her panic & saved her by breaking a piece of chalk, she secretly remembered his promise! “ lets make footprints on the snow”. The snow that was another source of anxiety attack, is now sth she looks forward to & prays for! Truly romantic!!! Well-done writer.

Side Notes:

I know furuba is shoujo & it’s abt love, but C’mon! where did Nao/ Motoko come from??!! XDD Who is left without love interest? Kyo’s rejected fangirl loved by one of kyo’s buddies? The maids in love with Akito? Momiji? Who does Kimi love besides money? XD

Yuki once observed that kyo makes tohru happy with small things, Today he did the same! A broken piece of chalk.

Yuki/ Machi romantic scenes contrast Yuki/ tohru forced romantic scene at the earlier seasons. There is no lame cringy lines like “ I’ll kidnap you & go to a vacation” or kissing a ribbon. There is NO acting or pretentious lines. Here a piece of chalk did the trick, an understanding of her tears & a head pat, a promise to walk on snow together! Congratulations Yuki, You made it into romantic boyfriends category! XD. also, good writing!

The Bra scene is the real comedy in the ep.

Arisa’s “ kyon, we won’t forgive you if you hurt tohru” is gold cuz kyo WILL. When it’s time to confess he knew kyoko & she HATES him & doesn’t forgive him, tohru would be hurt! Even if she wasn’t in love with kyo!!! Knowing your beloved’s last words were hateful is painful!! Add to this that tohru loves kyo & would be struggling between forgiving him or not!! Add to this that kyo might NOT want to be forgiven!!

“ I won’t forgive you”. kyo’s haunting reminder that he’s unforgivable is now shared by kyoko, yuki, Hana & Arisa!! 

look, you might argue that furuba’s romantic writing might be a bit awkward with all sorts of romantic couples, age gaps, the need for everybody to be in love one way or the other & so on, but the traumatic behavioral writing is the best!!!!! I was never disappointed with how Takaya write abused traumatized children’s behavior. One of my fave scenes is yuki/ kyo in the stairs in se02 where kyo lashed out on yuki & yuki was over it. While that scene was rightfully celebrated for yuki’s triumphant attitude as he got over his trauma, I love it for the realistic trauma filled attitude of kyo, all charged with kyoko’s flashback! He’s in deep & he’s all by himself! Kyo will hurt tohru cuz he loves her just like how kazuma hurt him by forcefully taking his bracelet cuz he loves him. Kyo will be thinking it is for the best, who would want to be with someone that kyoko of all ppl hates!

 I’ll tolerate all the weird love couples in furuba, but the moment trauma is written weakly I’ll drop the show. There is NO way, kyo will confess kyoko’s lines then go “sorry abt that tohru, we’re good?” 

Back to Machi, I really hope that her trauma isn’t merely wrapped up cuz yuki loved her. Furuba was never abt love heals, it is abt love helps. We might not see more of her trauma for reasons of space, or not related to the current plot lines, but I really hope we hear her talk abt herself with yuki even few lines. Although, I feel that the focus now will be on setting her for yuki’s next stage in character development: honesty in the love confession. He’ll tell her abt the curse as the trailer hinted at. That’s their first love life struggle. But if I were to take a guess, it will be dealt with quickly like her trauma. She loves yuki dearly & as long as he walks with her in snow (human or rat, lol), it’s all good. <3

Hior’s mom is love.

Kagura’s new style is love! she isn’t dressed overly cutely anymore, but had a more comfortably style & I love her hair! also her friendship with Isuzu! <3. I wish Isuzu would really know there are ppl worried abt her in her life. Haru isn’t the only one.

Akito put Isuzu in the cat room, didn’t she? The place she left is similar to the place young Kazum wandered to in se01, ep25. & those scissors....

I never thought that the mere sight of shigure’s face will disgust me. XD. I still find him so intriguing, but yeah need time to get over the fact that he slept with Ren & counted it even with Akito, then slept with Akito afterwards! EWWW! so disgusting & I’m here to see this drama escalate!

Yuki / Machi moment was interrupted! XD It’s not fun when it happened to you, yuki? XD.

[kyouxa]

Diabolik lovers Chaos Lineage: Shin Tsukinami (Story 10)

In terms of the gameplay: The black choices lead up to a bad ending, the white choices lead up to a good ending. Please no reposting onto other sites, ask me before translating this into another language too! If you enjoy these translations, please consider supporting me on ko-fi.

Monologue

It was the next day. And therefore, the time for us to sneak inside the Violet mansion finally arrived.

Kino-kun appeared to be as calm as ever. But Shin-kun on the other hand seemed to be really nervous.

I do understand Shin-kun’s feelings though. After this, we’ll be infiltrating the mansion his brother Carla-san currently lives in after all.

Shin-kun was unable to suppress his worries from me at least. Which left me with no choice but to hope for everything to turn out fine at the end.

Place: Abandoned house — Inside

Yui: (—Just the day before yesterday, we were simply exploring the Scarlet and Orange mansion…)

(And today we’ll finally head to the Violet one)

Kino: Look, today we’ll finally sneak into the long awaited Violet mansion. So far we’re just doing our warming-up exercises though.

Yui: Y-Yes.

(Warming-up experiences he says…)

Shin: …..

Yui: Shin-kun?

Kino: Say, doesn’t Shin hear you or something?

Shin: ...Ah, what do you want?

Kino: Hold on, what do I want? We’re preparing ourselves to sneak into Violet’s mansion right now, y’know?

Shin: Yeah… I know.

Yui: (Shin-kun… ? He does act somehow weird)

(I mean… we’re still potentially infiltrating Carla-san’s mansion…)

(Which makes it no wonder that he’s more than nervous, I guess. But Shin-kun…)

(There’s simply no other way around it, we might end up running into him… and if that’s the case then we have all the rights to feel uneasy…)

Um… Shin-kun?

Shin: What? Is something wrong?

Yui: (How am I supposed to phrase what I think?)

Choices

1) It’s going to be okay (black)

2) We’ll go through this together (white)♡♡♡

— It’s going to be okay

Yui: Um… I know I might not be skillful at that, but I’m sure everything is going to be okay.

Shin: Heh… I really hope so too.

Yui: I’ll promise to stay with you too.

Shin: You really are a good-natured person.

Yui: Fufu, thank you.

Shin: That was not particularly a compliment. But, I know I’ll be fine as long as you’re with me.

Yui: Shin-kun…

— We’ll go through this together♡

Yui: Shin-kun we’ll go through this together.

Shin: Heh, what exactly does that mean?

Yui: It means that, even if something might go wrong, I’ll always be by your side.

Shin: Guess I’m really no match for you after all.

Yui: ….. ?

Shin: I’m talking about those heartwarming words you can easily say.

Yui: (Ah… I’m happy… no, I’m very happy to be precise. It feels as if he praised me just now…)

end Choices

Shin: It’s okay. Thank you for worrying about me though.

Yui: (I think I ended up calming him down, at least a little bit?)

Kino: Hmm.

Yui: Eh? Kino-kun?

Kino: It’s nothing. Well then, it’s about time we head out.  

Shin: Yes...

Yui: (I just really hope we won’t run into any trouble this time…)

Place: Violet mansion — Outside

Shin: Hey, should we really enter through the front door?

Kino: It’s all right. After all, Carla and everyone else are currently outside.

Yui: Is that so?

Kino: When I was still living in the Scarlet mansion, I went to scout around here on Reiji’s command.

And that’s also when I heard that they’re going to attack the Scarlet mansion today.

So I thought we’d never get a better opportunity than that to sneak in there.

Besides, I haven’t even reported that to Reiji which means they’re undoubtedly getting run over by a mad rush.

Shin: Hmm, that will do it. It’s quite surprising that you thought ahead once.

Kino: Surprisingly, eh? That was pretty rude to say, y’know? I’m thinking over all kinds of things, okay?

Shin: I’m not quite trusting that.

After all, you didn’t even bother reporting that to Reiji. Does that mean you also schemed some sort of plan for us too?

Kino: Didn’t you just say you don’t trust me? For your information, I hate nothing more than dirty liars, y’know? So you shouldn’t ever do that.

Shin: But didn’t you just tell us that you kept information you were supposed to tell Reiji to yourself?

Kino: It’s not particularly a lie if I simply say nothing about it. The fact that Reiji didn’t hear anything about it isn’t my fault then.

C’mon, we can’t keep staying here forever, so stop worrying already and let’s go!

Place: Violet mansion — Living room

Kino: Heh, so this is how the Violet mansion looks from the inside.

Yui: You seriously can’t break anything in here, got it!?

Kino: Fufu, what are you being so cautious for? I wouldn’t dare to do anything like that here.

Yui: (If so, what about the other two times you caused trouble for us…)

Kino: I’m just wondering if there are any clues here.

Ah! I found another chessboard, and it’s in good condition. Heh, I think I’ve never seen one like this before.

Yui: A chessboard, you say… ?

(Thinking about it, even the Orange and Scarlet mansion had chess boards as well)

(What does that mean… ?)

Shin: Kino, you need to seriously start searching around or it will only get more difficult for us.

Kino: Yes, Yes, I know that.

Shin: Because this is quite a huge mansion, let’s split up. Kino will start searching through this room.

Meanwhile me and Yui will look more into the other private rooms. We’ll join you here again once we’re done.

Kino: ’Kay. See you later then.

Place: Violet mansion — Corridor

Shin: Until now we couldn’t find a single room with any kind of clues in it. There are neither dubious things nor notes laying around anywhere.

Yui: Yes, you’re right… maybe that’s because this is Carla-san’s mansion, and he considered getting rid of any clues…

Shin: So it might be as I thought, maybe there are no clues about this strange place or the mansions after all?

Yui: M-Maybe…

(Leaving that aside—)

Shin: ...Let’s go and enter the next room.

Yui: (Shin-kun… I know he’s still more curious about Carla-san than anything else right now…)

(I simply can’t help myself but worry about this situation and their possible encounter, since they’re supposed to be mutual enemies)

Shin-kun, are you okay… ?

Shin: What? Of course I’m alright…

Yui: (He showed me a really pained face just now... it doesn’t seem like he’s fine after all)

—I mean… is there anything you worry about, while thinking of Carla-san for example?

Shin: Well, obviously. I can’t help but worry about my brother’s illness… I keep asking myself if he’s okay.

Yui: So you’re worried about him…

(Endzeit, it’s a disease that only affects founders…)

(I know Shin-kun told me some time ago already, but I didn’t know the reason he’s worried about Carla-san is that his sickness might progress)

Shin: It might be that the symptoms calmed down due to this being a different environment and place.

Yui: His condition… we certainly don’t know about that right now...

(Even if his memories might’ve gone wild, the disease that’s inside his body probably still remains)

(But the last time I saw Carla-san it didn’t look as if he had any particular symptoms, nor did I notice any coughing…)

Shin: Guess this is the final room for the time being. We should look into it and join Kino afterwards.

Yui: Yes, you’re right.

Place: Violet mansion — Carla’s bedroom

Shin: This one here must be my brother’s room… you can easily tell by the stuff that’s in here.

Yui: (It really does look like Carla-san’s room…)

Shin: It feels kind of strange, doesn’t it?

Even though his memories didn’t return yet, he decorated his room with all kinds of drawings, that’s exactly like my brother.

Yui: Fufu, you’re right.

(It’s actually just like Shin-kun said. Somehow, this makes me remember the time I spent in the Banmaden…)

(Remembering this makes me really want to go back to our original world soon)

(And because of that, we definitely have to find some clues!)

Shin: …..

Yui: (Eh? Shin-kun? What’s he doing?)

Shin-kun, what’s that… ? A letter… ?

Shin: Yes, that’s right. I think this might be useful as a start for him to remember.

Yui: Shin-kun...

Shin: Well, I don’t think that this letter might be the reason for him to remember, but it’s at least something.

Yui: It’ll be alright. I’m sure this letter will reach Carla-san, and therefore at least transmit your feelings.

Shin: ...Thanks.

Yui: You’re welcome.

Shin: Alright, there’s no reason for us to search through my brothers room anymore.

Let’s go and meet up with Kino then.

Yui: Yes, let’s go.

Place: Violet mansion — Living room

Shin: We looked around everywhere and didn’t end up finding any clues. What about you?

Kino: Hmm, I ended up finding nothing in particular either.

Shin: Wait, when did you cause such a mess here!?

Yui: (This really is a disastrous scene…)

Shin: Just a little bit ago I was picking up coffee beans laying around the corridor from you then...

Kino: Ehh, how unexpected. This must’ve been some quite earnest work.

Shin: You’re such a brat!!

Kino: C’mon, stop looking so terrifying already. I was just kidding.

Yui: (...This is not the time to joke around… and yet he keeps being in his own imagination...)

(But Kino-kun doesn’t look as if he’s truly laughing when he does so…)

Kino: I knew there was gonna be nothing here, so let’s get out of here while we still can. It doesn’t make sense to stay here any longer anyway.

Yui: Yeah, let’s leave.

Come on, Shin-kun.

Shin: Yes...

Place: Violet mansion — Corridor

Carla: ...Ngh!?

Shin: ...Nn! Brother… !

Yui: (Carla-san!?)

Carla: As for this… what is the meaning of this?

Shin: T-This is… !

Kino: Ahh, we were found again. Does that mean the battle will start as things are right now then?

Shin: This is no good… ! We have to run away first!

Kino: Fiiine.

Yui: Yes… !

(Carla-san… !)

Shin: We have to somehow make it to the front door! Kino, you have to make a run at such times too!

Kino: Yeahhh, I know.

Shin: Yui! Come here! Take my hand!

Yui: Yes… !

*they run off*

Carla: Hmph, do you truly believe I would set free those rats who stepped into my property to begin with?

Place: Violet mansion — Living room

Shin: Haa… Haa...

Yui: Haa… Haa...

Kino: Haa… Haa… damn, I’m tired.

Shin: Kino! My brother is coming after us, keep moving!

Carla: How foolish. You will certainly not be able to flee from here.

Shin: ….. ! Brother…

Yui: (Carla-san already caught up with us. It’s really not easy to escape from him after all!)

Kino: It feels as if the final boss just entered the stage. But, we’ll definitely make a run from here, ngh!

*Kino throws dagger*

Carla: Hmph, how sweet.

Yui: He blocked Kino-kun’s dagger… !

(He easily flicked it…)

Shin: Those kind of tricks won’t work on my brother… ! Kino, retreat!

Kino: Even if you tell me to retreat, I can’t withdraw unless you escape from here first!

Shin: Hah? Does that mean that you want us to escape… ?

Carla: I cannot allow that. There is no need for me to send rats back to where they came from.

Kino: I’m not here to listen to your opinion. I know I failed a while ago, but if I throw a lot of daggers, at least one should hit him.

...Ngh!

*Kino throws daggers*

Carla: You are indeed foolish, since you wasted those...

Yui: (N-No way… he blocked all of them…)

Kino: Crap… if we really want to escape from here and go back to the real world, we have to defeat this final boss first.

Carla: What is it that you are talking about? If you really wish for me to torment you, I will gladly begin with your body.

*Carla stabs Kino*

Kino: Kgah… !?

Shin: Kino!

Yui: Kino-kun!!

Kino: Shit… I messed up...

Yui: (As things are now, Kino-kun might… !)

Shin: That idiot…just what exactly do you plan on doing after we would've gotten away...

You really are a troublesome guy after all!!

Yui: Shin-kun!?

*Shin uses wolf form*

Shin: You stay here real quick!

Yui: Shin-kun… !?

Carla: Did you turn into a wolf again? However, the differences between our powers are clear. It is impossible for you to beat me.

Shin: Yes, I know that. This might be painful for you to understand, but—

Haa!!

Kino: Hah!? The chandelier...

Shin: Kino, get out of the way and avoid it!

Yui: Kyaaaaa!!

(The chandelier fell down!? Everyone… !?)

Carla: Kch… how foolish!

Shin: Kino, let’s escape while we still can! Your legs are okay to get away from here, right?

Kino: Y-Yes, I can run. But you, you broke the chandelier with your feet...

Shin: Hah!? You know I don’t have time to lay back now despite that!

Kino: ...You’re right.

Shin: Yui, get on me! We’ll break through the window like this!

Yui: O-Okay!

Shin: Let’s go… Ahhhh!!

Place: Violet mansion — Carla’s bedroom

Carla: (I really did let those intruders get away from here in the end. I have devoted too many people to the Scarlet mansion’s attack after all)

(I thought it would be okay if I was left here alone, but this time I have to admit that I made a mistake in my judgment)

(But even so… those guys were really provoking. They probably have been running through the mansion to invade it)

(It appears as if only my room has not been touched much)

It is simply upsetting that I have not realized those guys’ invasion immediately afterwards… hm?

(Is this… a letter… ? Did they put this in here?)

(It is from… Shin — the man who transformed into that wolf, I assume. Hmph, I wonder if this will be a proclamation of war then?)

*Carla opens letter*

Carla: ...What is this?

Shin’s letter

’Before you read this, I’m simply writing this letter with the desire of you not just throwing it immediately away.’

’Brother, I’m sorry.’

’As a founder myself, I know I should've been able to change this situation way longer ago, like you would.’

’But I cannot conduct myself as skillfully as you would... and yet, I’m still trying to do my best in my own way.’

’After all she’s with me. Which is also why I’m looking forward to the three of us living together again.’

’Is your disease, Endzeit, doing okay? Make sure not to overdo it in any way. In the end, it’s still only the two brothers of us.’

’Next time, I hope we’ll already be able to speak to each other directly about this. For the sake of the pride of the first bloods.’

Place: Violet mansion — Carla’s bedroom

Carla: Why is it that this guy calls me his older brother? Besides, founders… Endzeit… what are those?

Kch… this is...

*flashback*

Carla: ...What is… this scenery…

Endzeit… somewhere… where did I hear this before already… ?

[hyrule-kingdom-updates]

ALL of the emojis for Siv :D

What is the kindest thing your OC has ever done for someone? What is the kindest thing someone has ever done for them? On the flip side, what is the worst thing your OC has done to another person?

I don’t think I can point out a *single* ultimate kind act, but Siv raising and caring for his brother throughout their whole childhood is definitely one of the kindest periods of his life. Spoilers, but: Siv didn’t actually believe himself to be capable of being a knight, in fact Ligero was specifically trying to keep him out of Larc’s life, letting them grow to be more independent, giving Siv every reason to be jealous and spiteful. But Siv trained to be a knight anyways because he didn’t want his brother to be alone through it all. He would never admit it, but Siv is a really kind and soft person. He cared for everyone of LinkLink’s scars and scabs when they went shield surfing, he took Zavis to a surprise party when his mother didn’t bother to throw anything that special. He wrote Revali letters, he sewed little rat plushies for Aryll to add to her collection—and I think it all stems from his childhood, where the only thing that he was certain of, the only choice that he could without a doubt claim was a good and kind thing that he didn’t mess up on, was caring and loving for someone that he by all other means didn’t have to.

As for the kindest thing someone has done for him, well honestly I think Siv would consider anyone giving him a basic amount of respect and appreciation as the “kindest” thing. Although once, Zavis allowed himself to team up with Link to plan a perfect party for Siv, which is to say, a very notable feat.

As for the worst thing Siv has done to someone: that’s probably spoilers. :3

What does your OC do when they see others upset or in pain? An upset friend? A stranger?

If a stranger was upset, Siv would probably just think, “Sucks to suck!” and move on. Unless they were like, REALLY sobbing, to the point where it would be impossible to ignore. Then he might stop walking, chat them up and buy them a drink, maybe hear their woes, but that’s probably it.

If it was a friend, he’d be immediately on their case, but would still try to play it off as him being an apathetic, disgruntled guy. But you know, Siv didn’t become an official royal Branch Buddy for nothing.

What is something true about your OC that they refuse to admit about themselves? Is there any reason to this besides embarrassment?

Under absolutely no circumstances will Siv admit that he is shorter than anyone. He finds it completely unfair that BOTH of his brothers are taller than him. He would hate it if you told him so, but Siv without a doubt has inherited a bit of his father’s ego, so calling him short, or even complimenting his hot royal guard brother when Siv is right there would ruffle his feathers to say the least

Describe a regular day for your OC. What is their schedule (if they have one).

Pre-Orator days, Siv basically wakes up whenever he wants (usually past noon), feeds the pet rats in the alleyways, then heads to the underground. Everyday is scraping enough rupees for a hot meal and a drink by selling illegal tickets to the underground monster fights, maybe organize a rigged gambling ring or two, and obviously scam any ten year olds that were looking to enter the world of pocket monster fighting themselves. Then when the “work” day is done, he’ll pop by an adequate tavern (the only one that would tolerate letting someone like him around) and eat and drink, and...that’s pretty much it.

As the Royal Orator, Siv wakes up and immediately heads to the dining hall, then hauls all the food and drink over to his office by 10am, cause that’s when his official work hours kick in. He then has to just sit there, listen to people’s grievances and input that will promptly be ignored (by either his hand, or most certainly by his superiors) while also posting out the important announcements and rat doodles with the Quill of Roost(both pre and post consumption). He might grab lunch in between and do fuck all, but by 9pm he’s gone out and about, doing whatever it takes to get as little sleep as possible because he doesn’t really like the sort of dreams he’s been having.

Current Siv doesn’t have a schedule, but he does have an agenda.

How does your OC think they will die? Does death scare them? Is there any reason for this?

Siv isn’t thinking about death. In truth, he thought he would have died much, MUCH earlier. Maybe get stabbed or executed? Maybe have a poor run in with an ex or particularly angry victim of his scams? But hey, now that’s he’s living the high life with all this power, he doesn’t care about death! For all he knows, he could live forever as long as he sticks with Ganon! All he has to do is follow what he says, and he’ll be happy forever and never have to fear anything ever again.

What is your OC’s most traumatic experience? (If they don’t have just one traumatic experience either pick one or describe them all!)

The Asunder Incident.

Siv constantly questions himself after that, “Why would I do that? Was I really capable of killing someone? Surely not, I’m not...I’m not that bad...” but the facts obviously stated otherwise. This was basically the incident that cemented himself as the person he is at the start of hku, apathetic and broken. He wouldn’t admit it then, but this singular event basically solidified everyone’s prejudice and perception of him, and rightfully proved them correct. It was his own actions that left him hated, abandoned, and alone, so yeah, he can’t complain now, it’s all his fault.

How would your OC react to the death of a friend/family member/loved one? Is there anyone they can confide in?

If Ligero died he would throw a fucking party for the ages.

Other than that, yeah, if someone he knew and cared about died he would be very heart broken about it. I think the only person he would really confide in about it would be Larc, but if it WAS Larc that died...I can only assume he would at the very least be severely depressed. He’s his favourite, cherished, little brat brother, after all.

What would your OC be like if they were evil. Or if they’re already evil what would they be like as the good guy?

This is an interesting question given that...I’ve already shown both sides to this, haven’t I? Maybe I’ll just let the story speak for itself...

How would your OC react to somebody telling them that they love them? (+ bonus give another characters/OC name!)

Siv would first play it off as a joke because defense mechanism! “Haha, yeah, and you know what I love? The bathroom!” and he would be off escape the situation. But if they were persistent, he would be very flustered and very...vulnerable, and scarily sentimental in his opinion. It would take some time, but I believe eventually he would really, truly accept it, in the end. Although patience is certainly a virtue, it took an entire childhood for him to use the L word for his brother.

What does your OC hate about themself? What lies about themself do they believe? On the flip side, What does your OC love about themself?

He hates being a bad person. He does not believe himself to be good or worthy of anything, thus he internalizes it wholeheartedly in order to gain that sense of control. So now that Siv’s accepted he will never be truly happy, he’s like, “Great! I can just not care about anyone else now.”

Thankfully, that’s changed recently, and he now believes, “You know what? I’m NOT a bad person! It’s everyone else that’s been wronging me! The problem with me is that I’ve been way to much of a coward to take what I deserve, so now I’m gonna do it, no matter what! I deserve to not be hurt anymore, and if I can’t do whatever it takes to achieve that, then how can I say I deserve to be happy in the first place?” Be sure to thank Calamity Ganon for that pep talk.

Right now Siv loves his power. He’s had the most control and power in this one relationship with Ganon than he’s ever had with anyone else in his entire life. He’s finally on top! Number one! He has something to really be proud of about himself! The old Siv hated themselves, but now that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Does your OC have any scars? How and when did they get them?

He doesn’t have any notable scars, especially given that he’s got the power o’ malice, baby! Malice is a representation of many things, one of them being time and memory, so it’s pretty easy for it to heal and return skin, flesh, and bone to a prior state. Perfect for healing and repairing people and objects, alike! Of course, malice is more famous for doing the opposite, sucking your soul out from you prematurely, feeling yourself die rapidly, your last breath being snatched and forced out of your lungs, a thousand breaths meant for a lifetime suddenly sapped out in a few minutes. But I don’t know why I’m talking about that, that’s not relevant haha

What is something your OC blames themself for and is it really their fault? Does it keep them up at night and is there any lingering trauma?

The Asunder Incident, he blames his actions for leading him to basically abandon his brother for like fifteen years. But that’s all I’m gonna say as I have plans to talk about his feelings on it further in the actual story.

In what situation would your OC be pushed to commit an act of violence? Would they go as far to kill someone if they had to? How would this affect them and their relationships with others?

Why, I can’t answer this in detail! That’d be giving away the story :3

Ok, maybe I’ll say this: Siv tells himself that he would do anything to get what he wants, of course he would do anything, because if he can’t, well then that just means he’s a pathetic coward who doesn’t deserve happiness anyways. So of course he claims that he will do anything, even killing someone.

What would your OC do if they were given god-like powers or the ability to change anything about the world for a whole day?

Siv would eliminate all shitty parents, maybe also give revive some dead people, and also permanently have a giant neon green tattoo of a dick be on Ligero’s forehead. Assivus would do the first thing, but he might also make everyone who has ever wronged him suffer for a very long time on top of that.

Describe one of your OC’s worst nightmares.

- Oh no, made a ficlet.

The first night he was in the castle, he had a dream.

There was a man, sitting across from him, dressed in glittering gold, with a green sash wrapped across his chest and waist. He was tapping his long nails against a desk, HIS desk, the white and purple quill still in the cup of ink, and blank parchment in front of him.

The man looked very out of place, and that was ignoring the fact that he was a withering corpse.

You’re dashing, aren’t you? The man said, still tapping his fingers. That’s when Siv realized that he was just sitting opposite to him, in the seat where guests were supposed to be. He tried to speak, but couldn’t. He tried to move, but couldn’t. He tried to blink, but didn’t.

He sat there and listened to the man, attentively.

Do you know what you’re doing here, Asunder? the man asked. Asivus didn’t. Do you know why I’ve allowed you here? What you are?

Siv didn’t know, but he couldn’t exactly express as such.

That’s because you don’t need to know. At least for now. The man leaned forward like mist, disappearing as Siv felt something pass through him, he couldn’t turn to look behind him as a delicate hand was on his shoulder. You’ll know things when I want you to know. You’ll say things when I want them to be said. And you will do things when I want them to be done. Because I own you. Err...

The man suddenly stopped to think, leaning on the right arm of Siv’s chair, tapping his bony chin, as if he had made a casual slip of the tongue. Because...you owe me. Yes, that’s the word. I’ve helped you so much Assivus Asunder. Or “will?” “Have?” “Am currently?” Futures and times are a funny thing. I apologize, I’ll have my words sorted out into something more professional and proper in our future.

The man spun around, and suddenly, he was no longer a corpse, but a dashing Gerudo man, dressed brilliantly and handsomely. His eyes were no longer a hollow gold, but green, somehow familiar.

The room was no longer some dinky orator office, but the sanctum of the castle, the apex of the kingdom. The man snapped his head towards him.

Let me ask you something, Assivus Asunder: Would you rather be here?

He gestured to the grand view of the sanctum, the sunset casting striking shades of red, black, and gold across the towering walls.

Or here?

The world spun once again, and they were suddenly on a dark street. The houses of Rauru diced the stone brick pavement. Siv glanced around and saw himself, sitting on the ground. There were two knights, one of them cursing loudly, and the other laying down beside him. There was so much blood and he could feel himself floating closer and—

No. NO. Wait. STOP. PLEASE! He tried to speak, scream, anything. No sound came. He saw a sword, a dark and rich puddle that seemed to even reflect his own face and—

They were suddenly back in the office.

Which is better? What do you prefer, of the two? I’m assuming the former? The man looked at him. I will allow you to nod yes or no to the former.

Siv immediately nodded a yes.

Trick question!The man boomed. Both are fantastic places, environments that you should love and cherish. There is so much good hiding in the places you would least expect, Assivus. I’ll help you remember that.

The world was suddenly nothing. Nothing but black. Just him, in a chair, staring at this smiling, pleasant, scary, red haired man. 

Don’t you want help, Assivus? I think there’s something you want, that you need help attaining? Isn’t there something? There’s no shame in admitting.

Siv thought for a moment, then slowly nodded a yes.

Do you want MY help?

Uhh...Siv wasn’t sure what to make of that.

Perhaps you can do a favor for me?

Fuck no! was Siv’s immediate thought. Who the fuck—First off, I don’t think I really like you, actually, so— 

Oh that’s alright! The man was suddenly very close to his face. Oh shit, could he hear my thoughts? Assivus, you can do whatever you want to do to be happy. I don’t want to force anything from you. He patted his cheek with a very cold hand.

In fact, I’ve now decided you don’t have to do anything for me. I am going to help you, and you don’t need to do anything in return. The man stood back, clasping his hands together. How does that sound?

I... He tried to speak, but remembered he couldn’t even move his lips.

I’m sorry again, Asunder. Here, I’ll allow you to speak now. The man didn’t even wave a hand, but Siv could suddenly feel how hoarse and dry his throat was.

So how about it, Assivus Asunder? I want you to be in charge of your destiny, I want you to be in total control. I would never force anything from you, I will simply be here, by your side, helping here and there, as you...figure it all out. How is that? Does that sound alright?

Siv opened his mouth, but couldn’t decide the words. If I say yes can I go back to sleep? Hella tired...

The man didn’t move, but Siv someone sensed a whisper beckoning somewhere with a “Yes. We’re all tired of many things, aren’t we?”

“O-Ok...” Siv finally said. “Alright, sure. I don’t see why n—”

Before the words were fully out of his mouth, the world suddenly stopped dead, as quick as a snap. He awoke from his bed with a jolt, his heart racing like he had just run a marathon, even though he didn’t find those last moments to be that thrilling or terrifying.

Siv sat for a moment longer, trying to contemplate the dream. But as most dreams are, the memory of it fell out of his grasp like loose sand between his fingers, and soon enough, it was already gone.

He flopped back into bed with a sigh.

Whatever it was, it was probably nothing.

What advice would your OC give to their younger self? What advice does your OC need now?

Already answered in a previous ask c: