#but I think he’d agree with me: Lucy deserved better

[facewithoutheart]

Lucy having to sacrifice her life and her magic for her unborn son is such a metaphor for what society expects of moms. In a world where Lucy was emotionally manipulated into creating the Chosen One by the Mage, a process full of consequences neither her nor the Mage fully understood, and dies as a result, creates a trauma Simon shoulders for the rest of his life.

It’s the Mage’s idea to create the Chosen One and the Mage’s research and yet Lucy pays the ultimate price. Then, the Mage gives Simon away for some misguided attempt at protection. He’s like the guy who pressures the girl into having unprotected sex and then never pays child support.

[fluentmoviequoter]

What I Didn't Know I Had

Requested Here!

Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!pregnant!wife!reader

Summary: You get shot, and Tim nearly loses something he didn't know he had.

Warnings: angst, r is shot, fluffy comfort and soft Tim at the end

Word Count: 1.7k+ words

Masterlist | Tim Bradford Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List

“I’ll catch up,” you tell Tim.

He nods once and tunes out Lucy as she walks beside him. The bullpen is crowded because of a busy day in Los Angeles, but you have something more important on your mind.

“Angela, can we talk?” you ask as you approach her desk.

“Of course,” she answers. “Is everything okay? Baby okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, we’re good.” You lay your hand over your not yet existent bump and smile. “I’m ready to tell Tim, but I want to surprise him with the pregnancy announcement. He’s not… conventional, right? So, I just wanted to ask if you had any ideas for how I can tell him, how I can make it special?”

“Not conventional is certainly a good description of Tim Bradford,” Angela agrees playfully. “Honestly, you know better than I do what he’d consider to be special. I think you should tell him sooner rather than later.”

You nod and look over your shoulder toward Tim. He deserves a memorable announcement; it’s his first child and he’s going to be an amazing father, so you want to make sure he knows that.

“Blue and pink target practice,” Angela suggests. “Nothing like a gun range jump scare.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Wade yells your name, and you thank Angela before you return to the crowd of police officers. He says your name again before he adds, “Bradford, Nolan, and Chen, we’ve got a domestic call off Wilshire. Take care of that and get back here. ACH!”

“Anything can happen,” Lucy murmurs. “But it’s never fun.”

“ACHBINF,” Nolan agrees.

“Are you okay?” Tim asks as he falls into step beside you.

“Yeah, I’m good. Love this time of year when we have to send two cops to a call and two cops to protect the others,” you reply.

“Hey, what’s it like being married?” Lucy asks as you enter the garage.

“Depends on the marriage,” Nolan answers. “Why? Are you getting married?”

“Not today,” Lucy answers. “Just curious.”

“Nolan’s right,” Tim agrees. “It depends on the marriage.”

“I love being married,” you tell her. “But it’s nothing to rush into.”

“I just want to meet someone,” Lucy groans. “And you guys are no help.”

“Yeah, I married my partner,” you say, winking at Tim.

“And Nolan’s divorced,” Tim points out.

“Okay!” you announce. “Before this gets worse and turns into a competition of who has or had the better marriage – because it’s me and Tim – we need to go.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Lucy agrees. “ACHBINF.”

Tim grunts as he slams the car door, and you smile. As long as that isn’t his response to your pregnancy announcement, you’re amused by his grumpiness.

“There’s nobody here,” Tim says as he looks through a dirty window.

“This is the address. They said they were watching the argument from across the street,” you explain. “So, it’s either a setup or a prank.”

“Bradford!” Nolan calls as he moves out of the yard. “There’s a black SUV moving slowly toward us.”

“Tell dispatch, and get through to Grey,” Tim demands. “Stay down.”

You move with Tim, staying low as you move toward the shop. The black SUV is several houses away, but it only rolls a foot or so before it stops for thirty seconds, then moves again.

“Option 3, someone’s trying to steal a stick shift and can’t drive it,” you joke.

“It’s never that easy,” Tim replies.

“ACHBINF?” you ask.

“Don’t,” Tim murmurs as he watches the car. “We need to make contact before they get close enough to do something.”

“I can go through yards and come up behind them.”

“No, we don’t know what the back looks like. Nolan, where are you and Chen?”

“Behind the shop,” Nolan answers. “On the other side of the street from you.”

“Stay in position,” Tim radios.

A shot fires somewhere nearby, but it echoes so you can’t tell where it originated from.

“The car’s a distraction,” you and Tim say together.

“Backup is two minutes out,” Lucy calls over the radio. “We don’t have time!”

“I’m shooting at the SUV,” Tim tells you. “Cover me.”

You trade places with Tim and press your back to the shop as you cover him. Before you can alert Tim of movement beside the house you were called to, someone fires again. You feel the sting of the bullet against your vest but rise to your knees and return fire. Tim notices your movement and lowers beside you. When the shooter drops his gun and tips back, Tim rushes to him as Lucy and Nolan run to stop the black SUV. You lean back against the shop and run your hand over your uniform. It’s tinted red with blood when you pull it back, and you gently press your fingers against your side. The bullet missed your vest by less than an inch, and your first thought is that the bullet may have gone in sideways.

“No, no, no,” you whisper as you press your hands to your lower stomach.

With the pressure, your bleeding increases with nothing to stop it. Tim rounds the corner of the house with the shooter in handcuffs but pushes him to the ground when he sees you. You’re losing blood quickly, and Tim sees your hands in the wrong place, which immediately concerns him. If you didn’t tell him you were shot and are causing it to bleed more, you must be in shock or hemorrhaging.

“Nolan, get over here!” Tim radios.

He kneels beside you and presses his hands to your side as you try to force a hand under your vest.

“Get me an ambulance!” Tim demands. “Officer down!”

“Tim, I’m pregnant,” you blurt out. “You have to make sure the baby is okay.”

Tim shakes his head and tells you to stay calm. Nolan loads the shooter into the back of his shop and tells Tim the ambulance is approaching.

“Promise you’ll make sure the baby’s okay,” you repeat.

She doesn’t know what she’s talking about, Tim thinks. That thought only increases his worry because you’re losing blood and not making any sense.

“What happened?” the paramedic asks as he approaches your side.

“GSW to her side,” Tim replies.

Your eyes flutter closed as they wrap your side, and you don’t mention ‘the baby’ again. Tim asks the paramedic which hospital you are going to and follows your ambulance in his shop. As he drives, he wonders where the “I’m pregnant” announcement came from. It’s something he wants but hearing it because you were losing blood causes his hands to shake. He reminds himself to focus and control his emotions as he parks and runs into the emergency room entrance.

“Office Bradford?” a doctor asks.

“Yes, sir,” Tim responds as he stands. “How is she?”

“She’s perfectly fine. The bullet was through and through with very little tissue damage, so we cleaned and stitched the wound, and she’ll be free to go after some observation. And the baby is perfectly safe as well, Officer.”

“Baby?” Tim repeats. “She’s pregnant?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I assumed you knew. Yes, sir, she’s about seven weeks pregnant. You can go in if you’d like.”

“Thank you.”

The short walk to your room feels like a marathon, and Tim’s mind races with each step. You should have told Tim; you have a dangerous job, and he needs to know. Tim takes a deep breath before he opens the door and steps into your room.

“You really meant that,” he says.

You look up and tug your bottom lip between your teeth before you release it to speak. “Yeah, I did. I wanted to surprise you, and I was going to do it later today, but… you know.”

“You have to tell me this stuff,” Tim says gently. “I didn’t know. And I- if something had happened, I wouldn’t have known. I’m supposed to keep you safe, but I can’t do that if I don’t know.”

“I’m sorry,” you apologize. “Surprise?”

Tim rolls his eyes as he takes your hand. He lays your joined hands over your stomach, avoiding your stitches.

“I was terrified,” you whisper. “There wasn’t a way to tell where it went, and if I’d lost-“

Tim shushes you gently and sits on the edge of your bed. He moves a hand to your jaw and brushes his thumb over your cheek.

“I get it. The doctor told me the baby was fine, and it suddenly crashed down on me. That fear that I could’ve lost something I didn’t know I had hit me, even after I knew you were both okay.”

You nod and turn your chin. Tim kisses you softly, and you whisper another apology against his lips.

“What do you need?” he asks.

“A hug, mostly,” you say lightly.

“I was hoping you’d say you were ready to get out of here.”

“Oh, we’re both very ready to get out of here,” you agree.

Tim helps you get comfortable on the couch after you arrive home, and you twirl your wedding ring around your finger. He returns a moment later, and when you pull your knees up to give him room to sit beside you, he huffs. Carefully, he lifts your ankles and lays your legs back in your original, comfortable position. Tim lays with you rather than sitting beside you, and you happily turn into his arm. He drags his fingertips along your spine, over your shoulders, and back down. His other hand lays against your side, and he drops his hand to where your baby is growing.

“You’re getting soft,” you murmur.

“Just for you two. And we both need this,” he replies.

“I have an appointment next week, and I want you to be there.”

“I’ll be right here,” he promises. “Can’t trust you to tell me anything important,” he jokes.

You try to push him away, but Tim grabs your wrists and carefully pulls you with him as he rolls. He barely manages to catch both himself and you as he nearly falls off the couch.

“Surprise?” he asks, repeating your earlier comment.

He kisses you before you can say anything else, and when his hands wander to your stomach, you know that you were right about what a great father he will be.

[be-dazzled]

JUVIA DAY 2023: Hare Hare

Gray Fullbuster, Juvia Lockser June 3, 2023 Posted: June 30, 2023

Writer’s Corner: Before June ends, I'd like to share this something I came up with for Juvia Day. A little bit late but I heard we are experiencing some Gruvia drought, so here's me trying... Enjoy!

P.S. thank you for the correction regarding Keyes/Keith, @groovyah!!!

HAPPY JUVIA DAY!

All rights reserve to Hiro Mashima, original creator.

Masterlist

---

How long has it been since Gray had been dragging his feet along the rough road? He stopped caring two towns ago. All that thinking only made the road grow wider. So, he decided it was better to keep his mouth shut behind the redhead leading their journey. All Gray wanted was just a little bit of information about the next dragon god they are trying to seal away. Was that too much to ask? He’d really like to put some timeline into this journey because, if he was being honest, Gray was not getting any younger and there were some things he wanted to do after this quest. But if he was really, really, being honest, he kinda, sorta looking forward to seeing a certain someone.

“Oh, this looks familiar.” It was Lucy who first noticed.

How she kept that cheery spirit in her voice was beyond Gray.

But, true enough, Gray was greeted by a familiar intersection, marked by shabby and wooden signage. He’d seen it far too many times not to recognize the arrow pointing to home – Magnolia.

Magnolia. Fairytail. Home.

That’s how that thought always flowed. Fairytail has always been home. Lately, however, his thoughts ended on something else.

Fairytail. Home. Juvia.

He wasn’t sure when it started. When she became the end of that train of thought. All he knew was when he thought of home, the picture of her blue waves, sparkling eyes, welcoming smile, and soft voice that called out to him lovingly, started to stake a claim on his consciousness.

Gray-sama, welcome home.

“It’s been a while since the last time.”

The Requip mage suggested they regroup at the guild and return to their journey after gathering some intel. Besides, they all needed to recuperate and deserved to have fun after the draining fight at the Labyrinth.

“Alright!” Exclaimed the fire-dragon slayer. “Let’s meet everyone!”

The anticipation brought some energy back to the travel party. So much so that they all agreed on how they looked forward to seeing their guild members. In Gray’s case, there was one particular member whose picture slowly and clearly appeared in his mind.

Gray-sama!

He probably didn’t notice it himself but the thought of seeing Juvia had its wicked way to arc the line of Gray’s lips.

...

The guild was rowdy as ever but the chaos brought in by Team Natsu, with two other dragon-slayers in tow, was most welcomed. They greeted each other with the excitement of an unexpected reunion. Yet amidst that chaos, Gray was able to cut through the cacophony of crazy and made his way to where his thoughts had lain lately – Juvia Lockser. Before he could take a step further, the water-mage was already walking toward him.

“Oh! My! Gray! Samaaaaaa!” Her every step was accentuated by her sweet greeting.

Juvia tackled him to the ground with the sheer force of her embrace. Then she said something, something about thinking so much of Gray that she had physically turned into him.

“That makes no sense!” He barked without thinking.

They were always like this. She’d say something ridiculous and he’d react like Juvia’s thinking was outside the realm of logic. He was so used to the crazy that his responses had become automated. But it’s not that she always said something impossible. His consciousness would like to correct him, however, when he suddenly remembered the fight he had with Sai.

Love Bond

His tone quickly dropped as the memory hit him like an arrow.

I transmuted your “bond”…

“No… it was that…” Gray avoided Juvia’s expectant gaze, scratching the back of his head thinking it might somehow redirect her attention away from his face.

“Could it be that you took on Juvia’s form as well?”

with the woman you’re in love with.

He didn’t want Juvia to see him fight this sudden rush of heat. So, he played it cool, like always.

“Well, it’s just…”

While he was thinking of a way to properly formulate his answer, so that she wouldn’t twist it into something out of this world, the alchemist’s words kept repeating in his head, louder by the minute.

the woman you’re in love with

Cornered, Gray mustered enough courage to take a peep at the water-mage, who was beaming at him with the smile that seemed forever imprinted on Gray’s mind. She looked like she wasn’t really waiting for an answer, content in just making conversation. That gave Gray some space to breathe. He wasn’t really sure how to explain to Juvia what the love bond alchemy was without confessing–confusing! without confusing her. But come to think of it, Juvia’s theory about why she turned into Gray that day wasn’t too far from possible.

As if sensing his intention, Juvia quickly dropped the subject. He led Gray towards the table where Natsu was already starting some commotion. The ice-mage didn’t need an invitation to join that circus. He effortlessly merged into the chaos – an old habit. Juvia was more than happy to stay out of the riotous entanglement. Glad on simply hollering for him at the sidelines – her old and still most favorite hobby. It shouldn’t come as a surprise how easily they both fell into the usual.

Gray ought to laugh at himself though. He should have realized it by now; Juvia was so attuned to his feelings that he didn’t even have to say it. Juvia just knew. She already knew.

The snow fairy toys with the women sleeping in the depths of your heart.

Gray-sama…

...

The reunion at the guild wrapped up in a tangled mess of passed-out drunks and beaten-up sobers. Good thing Gray still had full control of his faculties, and so did Juvia. He had the mindfulness of being sober enough to walk Juvia home; finally getting some alone time with her.

The walk to Fairy Hills was, in fact, far but seemed too short to recount all of Gray’s stories of his travels. He wasn’t the talkative type. Actually, he’d much rather let his fists talk than his mouth. But they’ve spent so much time apart that there were a lot of funny and incredible moments worth sharing. As Gray retold his stories, Juvia filled all the spaces with small reactions, going through the entire spectrum of emotions. When he ran out of things to say, he’d notice the few changes his absence did to Juvia – like how her hair grew a bit longer. Her bangs started to level to her eyes and framed her face a bit differently than he remembered. There was something about her, something he couldn’t pinpoint exactly. In the way she walked or spoke, it felt as if she matured in his absence. Has she grown taller? Her clothes, he noticed, were becoming tight around some areas of her body – he scolded himself at the last one because it brought back the memory of Juvina-sama stripping naked in front of him.

“You don’t look all right, Gray-sama. Is something wrong?”

Gray had to push that memory to the farthest back of his mind. He knew, even if Juvina was a spitting image of Juvia, the water-mage would never forgive her for flashing Gray. She would hunt the poor celebrity down.

Imagining what Juvia would do to her, Gray actually felt bad for Juvina-sama.

“N-nothing.”

When they reached the front of the female dormitory, Gray felt a tug of disappointment. An anxious nag that he was leaving something important. It wasn’t too big a feeling but enough to recognize what it was. And with it came another, one that told him he couldn’t wait to see her again or made him wonder when the next time would be. Team Natsu was planning to travel to Gazania and visit Sabertooth’s comprehensive library for some information. It would take Erza one more day to gather all the essentials for the long trip. After that, he wasn’t too sure when would be able to see Juvia again. The thought pushed Gray to resolve his feelings and decide to see her again if her schedule would allow it.

“Juvia, are you free tomorrow?”

“Juvia will make herself free!”

Gray panicked at Juvia’s sudden change of demeanor. And here he was, feeling regretful that she had actually matured in his absence, that maybe she’d changed into someone he wouldn’t recognize. And while it wasn’t all too new and surprising, Gray still wasn’t okay with the fact that Juvia would abandon everything for his sake.

He didn’t deserve it.

“No, I only meant…” it wasn’t like he didn’t like it, “if you’re… coincidentally if you don’t have anything to do, y’know.” It just felt like he was asking too much from her if she had to rearrange her day to accommodate him.

“Juvia can get out of anything to spend time with Gray-sama.” Seeing how her enthusiasm put Gray in an awkward position, Juvia clarified, “Since, Gray-sama will be gone for a long time again.”

“That’s…” Guilt clawed at Gray and he would have let it gnaw at him if it wasn’t for Juvia’s gentle smile and understanding gaze. So, he expelled a sigh of complete resignation. He was allowed to be selfish sometimes, wasn’t he?

“Alright, then. Let’s go out tomorrow.”

“D-d-date?!”

Gray could easily predict what would happen – and that’s carrying Juvia into the dormitory, bridal style, and explaining to the agitated swordswoman why exactly was Juvia mumbling ‘gray-sama, juvia, first date’ in a trance.

...

Gray wasn’t particularly nervous about today. He had everything in order. He wasn't a planner. Gray was the kind that lived life day by day. Went with the flow. Sailed with the tides. Nevertheless, he had a general idea of how this day would go down. He already had the checklist in his head, mentally ticking off the boxes per accomplishment.

Ask Juvia on a dat-HANG OUT. Ask Juvia to hang out while he was still in town – mentally crossed off the list. Although he initially planned on picking her up at Fairy Hills, his indiscretion the night before led him to be banned from hanging around the all-girls dormitory. While his unconscious stripping was nothing new to the Fairy Tail girls, Erza still felt the need to discipline his public exhibition. Hence, the 2-year ban. So, the two agreed to meet each other at the guild.

Gray caught himself stripping midway to the guild. He quickly ran back to find his abandoned coat and slipped back into it.

“That was close!” He exclaimed. He, at least, wanted to meet Juvia on their date HANG OUT decent.

He couldn’t help it though; the sun was unusually bright today. He shielded his eyes and quickly regretted daring to stare directly up at the sun. But he was glad. The weather was fine. More than fine actually, suitable for today’s destination – the amusement park. News about a newly opened amusement park reached beyond the borders of Magnolia. He heard about the opening while traveling back and he was curious to see it since then. He could already imagine trying all the fun rides the park boasted, adding a small bounce on his steps.

He turned the corner and jumped back. He wasn’t expecting Juvia to be so early. He, at least, wanted to be the one waiting for her but the water mage was already standing under the shade of Bake Bake Shop's awning. What really surprised Gray, making his breath hitch in his throat, was that Juvia looked different. She wasn't wearing her usual clothes. Instead, Juvia opted for a flowy skirt shorter than the one she commonly used. She paired it up with a strapless top and some high boots and completed her look with a brown puffy bonnet atop her head. Juvia had never looked this casual and c-c-cute…

He wondered how long she had been standing there. And, how long has she been fending off those losers walking up to her and trying to strike up a conversation?

His astonished eyes quickly gloomed.

But Gray had nothing to worry about. He, himself, said it, Juvia was one of the strongest mages of Fairy Tail. She defeated Keith/Keyes, one of the Demon Gates. And there was no question Juvia could have ended Invel too, a Spriggan 12. The water mage was a force to be reckoned with. He didn’t need to worry for her safety, though he was allowed to, and let himself do so every now and then. He didn’t need to worry about other men hanging around the watermage; for Juvia only had eyes for her Gray-sama.

“Sorry. Juvia is waiting for her Gray-sama.”

Gray had only seen that void in Juvia’s eyes on a few occasions. When she was still a member of Phantom Lord. When she was still the rain woman, her eyes were filled with a pointed gloom of disinterest – in life and in other people’s business. It vanished when she became part of Fairytail and when he came into her life. Sometimes, he’d entertain the illusion that he was the one who brought those sparks into her lovely blue eyes. She claimed that he did but that was too grand an illusion. So, for now, he’d settle for being the center of those ocean eyes.

“Gray-sama!”

There! There it was the brightest glimmer in her round orbs. As sparkly as the ocean being kissed by the sun. They shone because and for Gray – only for him.

Gray met her half way, approaching Juvia who scampered towards him. He waited for the tackle, like she always did when they saw each other, and if he was being honest, he wouldn’t mind it. Only to show those losers why they shouldn’t be approaching the water mage. But she settled on just beaming at him in her cute ensemble; the short skirt swaying along as she moved.

“Where is Gray-sama taking Juvia?”

He answered her smile with his cool, pompous grin. Well, he wasn’t being cocky at Juvia. Gray just wanted to show those bastards.

“You’ll see.”

Oh, if only the bastards could see Gray now, his cool, cocky grin trembling at the sight of the sign plastered at the gate – CLOSED FOR RENOVATION.

"I-I… I should have ch-ch-checked yesterday." He lamented.

AMUSEMENT PARK DATE HANG OUT - X

Juvia, who was hiding an amused smile behind one hand, was not at all disappointed. She was just happy to be spending time with Gray, just the two of them. Juvia couldn’t ask for more.

"It's alright, Gray-sama." Juvia placed a consoling hand on Gray's shoulder. "Juvia doesn't mind just walking around."

Gray turned a heel, letting Juvia push him back to the road where they came from, as he kept mumbling a dejected 'no'. Now, he was the one in a daze. Because, what a major bullcrap that was; he was really looking forward to trying the rides all day.

Juvia started a conversation to keep him from sulking. He noticed, however, that she kept fidgeting beside him. She was playing with her fingers, unsure where to keep her hand between them. Gray didn't notice himself already staring at it, at Juvia's hand. Then, he started to become conscious of his own kept inside his pants pocket. There was something off about just keeping his hands in there, which he found strange because he never noticed anything wrong about it before. So, to redress this unsettling feeling, Gray pulled one hand out of his pocket and, as he was about to reach out and seek Juvia's, something swooped in between and knocked them apart.

Of course, he had to check first if Juvia was okay before he screamed at the bastard who slipped in between them.

"Hey, watch it!"

"Sorry, mister!"

It was a kid who looked no older than Greige from Edolas.

Greige.

A mental picture of his and Juvia’s child, his cute little face and aloof eyes, tugged a string in his heart.

"Storm-chan, please wait for onii-chan!"

A young man apologized to the two mages, bowing his head so desperately that Gray thought he was going to break his back. Then, grabbed the kid and went along. He seemed troubled by his little brother but now that he carried the child in his arms, onii-chan seemed unbothered by it. They laughed together as they went their way. That’s when Gray noticed the colorful donut floater the young man had circled around his arm.

The brothers were headed to the beach.

That seems like a good idea, Gray thought.

Hit with excitement knowing today may not be a waste after all, Gray grabbed Juvia’s hand, leading her in the race to the nearest beach in town. Juvia was more than happy to be dragged along by him. How could she not when Gray never let go of her hand the entire train ride? Even when he seemed to have finally noticed it because he turned his face away and spewed something about holding hands being a normal thing.

Finally, something right was happening.

or so they thought.

Now, Gray's mood wasn't the only thing dampened by the depressing turn of events, forcing the two to find shelter from the sudden downpour. They were both soaking wet.

Way to rain on Gray's parade, quite literally.

Gray scowled at the curtain of water holding them hostage under some makeshift shed. He pushed out his hand, his palm testing the stream spilling over the roof. By doing so, he’d be able to tell if the rain was about to stop and if they could still salvage whatever remained of their day. With the strength of the rainfall, it wasn’t anytime soon. He hissed.

"This isn't Juvia's doing."

Gray, surprised at the confession, turned to Juvia with a confused look. Of course, this gloomy weather wasn't because of Juvia. His face contorted into utter confusion. How could she even assume that idea ever crossed Gray's mind?

The old Gray, the one who didn't fully understand her, would have scolded her for even entertaining those thoughts. But that version of himself was long gone now. This new Gray understood Juvia at her very core.

"I know." Was all he said, offering the sulking water mage a soft smile, one that said he would never think that. Not in a hundred years.

Because Gray-sama was the one who stopped Juvia's rain.

"Know what, to hell with this." He grabbed Juvia by the hand and pulled her out into the pouring rain. "Who says we can't have fun, eh?"

Soaking wet, the two crazy teenagers, as the onlookers anointed them, sprinted to the beach, unafraid of the strong waves hitting the shore; the sheer force of it dragged Gray and Juvia as it pulled back. They played so carelessly, splashing each other or pushing one another into the water. Then they'd share childish giggles at how silly they might have seemed. They walked on the coastal lane too, feeling the wet sand on the flat of their feet, lumps sticking between the toes.

Gray would remember something stupid Natsu said or did, or an embarrassing episode happening to Lucy. He remembered that one time when he took the last stick of grilled squid, which was meant for Erza, and thought he was going to finally meet his end. Fear crossed Juvia’s face who was absorbed with the story. Knowing the Requip Mage, Gray’s apprehensions weren’t unfounded.

Juvia would recount a few of her own stories too; telling him she went on a job with Lisanna where they had to wear funny costumes. She was a tree and Lisanna was a mountain. Gray almost broke his back laughing.

When Gray's stomach started to protest, he had the bright idea of dining al fresco. Well, they really had no other choice. No restaurant owner in their right mind would let a drenched couple dine inside. So, they settled on a small coffee table and took a shed under its large umbrella. Gray had no problem ordering shaved ice despite that weather. As much as Juvia wanted to share with him, she wouldn't survive a combination of wet clothes, rainy weather, and cold dessert. A cup of hot cocoa was the far better choice.

Juvia took a sip, the hot sweet liquid sliding from her throat and down to her stomach, warming up her insides. The water mage let out a satisfied sigh as she watched Gray, who was sitting opposite her, gulp down ice. They sat in silence, calmed by the sound of rain pelting on top of the striped parasol. While she immensely did enjoy chatty Gray, Juvia equally loved moments like this when they could just be comfortable around each other's presence. It gave her time to take notice of a few changes in Gray. He seemed to have lost some weight. She asked if he was eating all right. He said he was but all the walking and fighting burned a few pounds off of him. Juvia promised to make him a bento when she sees him off tomorrow. She said it so casually as if preparing him lunch was expected of her. Gray smiled at that, just a sober slant of the lips, and told her he’d hold her to that promise. But quickly reminded her not to give it when Natsu’s around.

“I don’t want Flamebrain to steal it or somethin’.”

They fell in total but welcomed silence again, so they could listen to the faint sound of rain hitting the umbrella. It sounded like the rain was about to end soon. Lamentably, Gray and Juvia’s time might be ending soon too. Juvia let out another sigh, this time, a bit wistful.

“What’s wrong, Juvia?”

Gray’s face was contorted into worry.

“Nothing.” She pouted. “Juvia will just miss Gray-sama.”

Imagining the days she has to spend without the presence of Gray, Juvia couldn’t help but whine, slumping herself across the table at the sullen realization that Gray-sama will be so far away again. At the other end of the world even!

She snapped back up when warmth enclosed her hand. Her heart skipped a beat when she confirmed that it was Gray’s hand gently placed over hers. She stared at Gray, who returned the look with equal guilt and plea. His eyes, softened by his silent request, gave her an assurance that he wouldn’t be long. There was promise in them that whatever happens, he’ll find his way home – to her.

Juvia didn’t even have to hear him say it. She knew. She could see it in the way he softly looked into her eyes and gently squeezed her hand. Gray had conveyed his feelings through these simple gestures far better than his words ever could. And they reached Juvia, loud and clear.

I will be back.

Juvia will wait for you, Gray-sama.

Gray opened his mouth to say something but he quickly noticed the rain retreating. He withdrew from her gaze only to confirm this suspicion. Just like the way he tested the strength of the downpour earlier, Gray extended his free hand outside the roof of the umbrella. All the while, not loosening his hold on Juvia’s hand now enclosed in his.

Totally unnecessary but very much appreciated.

“Looks like it stopped raining.”

The realization widened both their eyes; a rapturous glimmer reflected in both. As if reading each other’s minds, Gray and Juvia cheered in unison, “Let’s try wave surfing!”

The hold on each other’s arm had become so permanent that wherever they went, none of them ever let go.

Even when the two of them were brought in at the police station for indecent exposure. Because Gray and Juvia were so excited to ride the waves, now that the sun had peaked through the clouds and the weather finally agreed with them, they both unconsciously stripped down and walked around in public in their intimates.

It didn’t come as a surprise for Gray since he’d been down the station on more than one occasion, all for the same reason. He was embarrassed though, for causing Juvia to spend the night in jail on their last night together.

“Juvia doesn’t mind, Gray-sama!”

The culprit for his current state – his face turning beet red – clung to him despite the warnings from the watch guard. The heat from, he wasn’t sure if it was because of getting in jail, their intimate position together inside the very small space, or maybe both, was making him nauseous.

What tipped the scale, though, was having Erza Scarlet march down the police station to bail them both out. And the Requip Mage did not look happy. In fact, she was so mad about having to wake up in the middle of her beauty rest and come down the station that she added another year to Gray’s ban from ever setting foot at Fairy Hills.

And for Juvia, to endure a year of curfew.

“As if it’s not punishment enough for Juvia not being able to see Gray-sama in the middle of the 100 year quest.” Juvia mumbled under her breath as she miserably followed Erza home.

“You were saying somethin’?”

Juvia was one of the strongest mages of one of the strongest guilds in Fiore. She was not afraid of anything, except for that murderous glint in Erza’s brown eyes that made her feel weak, small and breakable all at the same time.

“N-not-nothing, Erza-san.”

...

As promised, Juvia brought Gray a bento lunch she woke up so early to make. They met separately ahead of the others so that, as Gray requested, he could eat it in peace, away from the nosy fire dragon slayer who would have demanded a bite or two. They walked together to Team Natsu’s meeting point and Juvia wished them well on their journey to the Sabertooth guild. She sulked at Gray’s departure despite his assurances that he would be back, whatever it took. She suggested he give her a goodbye kiss so she wouldn’t miss him that much and aggravated the swordswoman for flirting too much in the open.

Juvia settled with just waving her beloved Gray goodbye, looking as their figures grew smaller and smaller by the distance. She didn’t know how long the quest would take her beloved away. But in those times that she missed him, in those hours that she’s alone and lonely, in those moments when her desire to see the ice-mage overwhelmed her, she had yesterday and today to think back to. This feeling today, the elated bliss lingering from having to spend the whole day with Gray, playing around and just having fun, without a care in the world.

In spite of the heavy rain.

Or maybe, because of it.

Gray not only took her rain away. Yesterday, he gave a whole different meaning to it.

[convolutings]

I’ve been reblogging chenford all week since it happened because i’m obsessed with them and am so happy Lucy finally broke up with Chris and Tim asked her out. Also, Melissa and Eric did a great job with the material they were given.

but… as a writer.

I’m very disappointed with how it played out. Those scenes did not feel deserved and it felt like the writers got bored? of the angst and just wanted to put them together already. Which doesn't make sense because the type of angst they set up in the premiere was prime television. But neither of them was anywhere near ready for how quickly their getting together actually happened. Lucy was still denying it and Tim was still worried about the backlash and neither of them had the buildup to express that to the other.

With slow burns I feel like the declaration has to be somewhere along the lines of “I just can’t hold this in anymore.” While I love how simple and communicative their conversations were it doesn’t fit with their previous interactions of miscommunication to automatically be able to share how they feel. After all they've been through, Tim and Lucy deserved a big, loud, declarative moment.

There also should’ve been time between Lucy breaking up with Chris (which should’ve been done without Tim’s input) and Tim asking her out. There should’ve been Tim questioning if he’d be taking advantage of her, and Lucy questioning if he’s worth it (like she did with Nolan when she decided he wasn’t). The risk is not just about them losing their friendship and I wish that was touched upon.

We got a little of it and I know this is an ensemble show but they could’ve stretched it out over the course of the season to get them to a point where these conversations could happen naturally. Tim has never been a talk-about-it guy and watching him get to that point where he willingly opens up to Lucy would’ve been so well deserved and not doing that is a missed opportunity for character growth. And having Lucy decide for herself what she is worth and what she deserves without being told by others (which happens quite often) would’ve been amazing for her personal development.

I’m not complaining (not really) about it because I love that they’re together but it just feels lacklustre and kind of like “what just happened” instead of “I knew it was gonna happen now bc it had to.”

The Rookie is fun to watch but there are often so many missed opportunities it gets kind of frustrating some times.

———

update: while reading other people’s analysis i’m starting to agree that the quieter reveal is better, sweeter, and more mature and in character with how they interact with each other. Also I’ve never been in a relationship and have trauma so I only understand angst and seeing them communicate is beautiful.

I’m also starting to recognize how Tim helping her and pushing her is in line with the trust they have in each other to tell each other the truth and how Lucy deciding to jump headfirst after breaking up with Chris makes sense.

I do still think that happened a little fast specifically on Lucy’s end. Looking back I can see the development of Tim deciding to put himself out there and it’s actually really nice and amazing to see how far he’s come especially when he’s talking to Angela about it. But prior to this episode we have never heard from Lucy or had her talk about her feelings toward Tim in any real way.

Lucy used to have Jackson the way Tim has Angela, but now she doesn’t have anyone. The first time we heard her questioning things with Chris was the same episode she decided to break up with him. It makes sense for her to open up to Tim about Chris but I would’ve liked to have her open up to someone (Nolan, Aaron) about Tim.

don’t get me wrong i’m still thrilled and can’t wait to see where they go from here I just thought I’d put out my thoughts into the ether.

[gotnofucks]

His Responsibility

Pairing: dark!Andy Barber x Reader

Summary: When you’re pregnant and scared, Andy decides he will take the responsibility, whether you want it or not.

Words: 3.4k

Warning: Non-con/Dub-con, smut, breeding kink, pregnancy, age gap (reader is in 20s), 18+ ONLY

A/N: This is my slightly late entry for @just-one-ordinary-fangirl​ 1000 followers challenge. Congratulations Lucy, you beautiful, absolutely breathtaking soul. I love you so much! The prompt has been bolded.

The crook of your elbow still throbbed as you drove away from the labs, having just given a blood sample. Jacob was supposed to be with you but like every other time, he had bailed out. Seeing no other option, you changed your path and turned towards the Barber house, hoping to find answers there.

You hesitated a moment before getting out and ringing the bell, nervously twisting the hem of your t-shirt. Sweat and tears were threatening to spill over and you hastily blinked while wiping at your hairline, ringing the bell again. You straighten once the door was swung open, coming face to face with Andy Barber.

His mouth opened in surprise, eyes taking in your bothered appearance. Softly saying your name in question, he moved aside to let you in, frowning at you.

“Are you okay?” He asked, gently placing a hand on your shoulder. You wanted to start bawling. Everything about your life was spiraling out of your control and you needed to talk before things went worse. Before you could speak however, you heard footsteps behind you and saw Jacob come down the stairs, looking outraged at seeing you in his house.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He rudely snapped and your eyes narrowed. What had ever possessed you to date this bastard?

“Jacob!” Andy scolded, “that’s no way to talk to your girlfriend.”

You scoffed as Jacob rolled his eyes. You’d broken up nearly a month ago, and while he’d been desperate to have you back at first, now he only went about telling anyone who’d listen what a sanctimonious bitch you were.

“We broke up dad.” Jacob said. “What are you doing here? You didn’t really think I’ll take you back, did you?”

Your fingers curled into a fist, a sneer curling on your lips as you glared at him. You wouldn’t touch this piece of shit with a ten feet pole.

“Take me back? I broke up with you, asswipe.” You snapped. “And anyway, I am not here for you. I need to speak with Mr. Barber.”

Jacob’s eyes narrowed suspiciously while Andy’s frown deepened, his gaze questioningly fixed on you.

“What about?” Jacob asked, crossing his arms across his chest. You noted with wry amusement how pathetic he looked next to his father who was watching your interaction with displeasure. Andy and you and had always gotten along well, and even before you broke up, you often wondered how such a man raised a dick like Jacob.

“None of your fucking business. Mr. Barber, can we please talk?” You asked, addressing Andy. He motioned you towards the direction of his study and you made your way there, trying not to pay attention to Jacob’s protests as he and Andy argued. You sat in Andy’s study, wiping your sweaty hands on your pants. You were scared, angry and humiliated but Andy was your last hope.

He came in a couple minutes later, shutting the door after him and taking the seat across from you. Andy looked at you kindly, giving you a small smile that reminded you of how often he had sided with you over his son in previous arguments. You could talk to him. He would understand.

“Please, don’t judge me.” You pleaded and saw him roll his eyes. After everything that you knew happened to their family, Andy Barber is the last person who’d ever judge anyone.

“Don’t insult me by saying that.” He chided. “You can talk to me freely.”

You took a deep breath before reaching inside your bag and pulling out the pregnancy test. Two pink lines glared back at you, and once you passed it on to Andy, his eyes widened. He looked from the small stick to you, twice, blinking in surprise.

“Jacob?” He asked and you nodded.

You’d told him you missed your period last week and got a positive result but he neither answered your texts nor call you back. After three days of silence, you’d finally managed to get him to agree to accompany you for a blood test, but he had been a no show today as well.

“I don’t know what to do.” You admitted, shoulders slumping down in defeat. A baby didn’t fit any of your current plans and you were shit scared of how your parents would react. It didn’t help that the father of the baby didn’t look like someone who would help you shoulder the responsibility.

“Does he know?” Andy asked, rolling the stick in his hands. His voice had gone hard, but you knew it was mostly directed at his careless son than you.

“I told him. He was supposed to come with me to the hospital today. I waited for over an hour.” You said. You jumped when Andy’s hand slammed against the table suddenly, body leaned forward as he fixed you with a terribly furious gaze.

“Hospital?” He questioned, gaze accusing and you reeled back, raising your hand. You understood what he was implying, and though he didn’t have any say in it, you didn’t comment on his reaction.

“I went for a formal blood test. Sometimes these tests can be faulty.” You explained and watched Andy slump back in his chair, rubbing tiredly at his eyes. There was silence until he sighed deeply, folding his hands and leaning his elbows on the table.

“I am sorry.” He apologized. “About myself and my son. He’s a nasty piece of shit.”

You cracked a small smile, sharing an amused look with Andy until you started chuckling. That chuckle turned to a laugh, and your body vibrated as you lost all control. You laughed, you laughed until it turned into a sob and then a wail, helpless cries leaving your mouth with seemingly no end. Tears made their way down your eyes and into your open mouth, coating your tongue in bitter saltiness and you were suddenly in Andy’s arm, cradled to his chest where he held you tight.

He rocked your sobbing body slowly, patting your back and head as you wet his shirt with your snot and tears. Your helplessness and fear about what the future held had you snapping, and you let out your sorrows in the arms of the man who sired the reason for all your problems.

You may have cried for a few minutes or hours, you didn’t know. But Andy didn’t push you away, holding you until the last of your sniffles disappeared and you were able to breath normally. Mortified, your cheeks burning with heat and humiliation you raised your head from his chest to meet his eyes, watery gaze meeting a kind and concerned one.

“I am so sorry.” You whispered, embarrassed at having lost control like this.

A rough hand wiped at the wet tear tracks on your face, gentle and soft as he finally turned your chin up again.

“Don’t be. You deserve a breakdown.” Andy said, smiling softly at you. He slowly moved away and took his own seat, passing you a glass of water and not speaking until you’d taken a few sips. “Who else knows?”

“Just you for now. My parents…they aren’t exactly going to be supportive about this.” You answered, looking down. Your conservative family will either have you disowned or in an arranged marriage within a week.

When Andy spoke your name, you saw him conflicted. The lines in his forehead were deepened, unsure as to what to say to you.

“Do you want me to talk to Jacob? Because I assure you, he’ll take the responsibility. I’ll make him do it.” He promised you.

“At this point, I think my life would be better off without him. I am just here to discuss options with you.” You said and Andy frowned again.

“You wanna get rid of it?” He gruffly questioned, jaw clenched. You held in your frustration, allowing him to have his own opinions.

“No” You said, “I just wanna know my rights. I want to know that my position at the university and work will not be compromised. I want to know about child support and the laws that protect me. I need advice Mr. Barber. If I will bring a life into this world, I want to be prepared for it. I may have made a lot of bad decisions, but I refuse to be a bad mother.”

Andy looked at you as if looking at you for the first time. You saw him process your words until he slowly nodded, not looking away from you.

“I’ll help you. Give me a few days, I’ll compile all that you need.”

You were just about to sleep when you heard the knocking. Putting a robe over your t-shirt and shorts you went to answer the door, surprised when it was Andy. It had been three days since your talk, and you were to pick your blood reports the following morning.

“Mr. Barber” You greeted, letting him in. Why was he here so late?

“We need to talk.” Andy said, taking a seat on your couch. You bit your lip as you sat near him, wondering what had him looking so serious.

“I spoke to Jacob. He refused to take any responsibility. I am sorry I raised a jackass who won’t step in.” Andy said and you pursed your lips, not in the least bit surprised. You’d already gathered that Jacob was a fucking jerk, and you’d rather your kid have no dad than a deadbeat one.

“You don’t need to apologize Mr. Barber, it is not your fault.” You assured Andy.

“Please, call me Andy. I want you to know that if Jake won’t step in, I will. I will take care of you.” Andy promised and you blinked before shaking your head.

“I – Andy, that’s really sweet of you. But outside of legal advice I don’t need any help. I am a strong woman. I can take care of myself and my kid. Also, no offense, but I don’t want my kid too close to his father’s side and then have them wonder why dad doesn’t love them.” You said.

Andy regarded you slowly, a hand rubbing his beard before he rested back against the couch.

“No.” He said firmly.

“No?” You asked, confused. What did he mean no?

“Don’t ever say anything like that ever again. That child, they are a Barber. You’re not taking them away from me.” Andy said, fixing you with his deep blue eyes. You mouth parted in shock, a hazy sort of disbelief clouding your vision.

“Excuse me?” You sputtered, looking at him as if he’d lost his mind.

“That child will not grow up without a father. If Jake won’t claim them, I will. They have my blood in their veins too.” Andy said.

He was speaking, but he made no sense. You looked at him, not taking in a word he said. The only thing you focused on was how Andy had inched closer to you, sitting right next to you until your thighs touched. You blinked before quickly getting up to move away when Andy grabbed your hand and pulled you down beside him again.

“Andy! Let me go!” You cried, hitting against his shoulder. He didn’t move away, instead, he placed his other hand on your tummy, gently feeling.

“This is my kid inside you now. No one will know it’s Jake’s. I am your baby daddy.” Andy announced and before you knew it, his lips had enveloped yours, kissing you deep and hard. You struggled in his hold, panic making you trash as tears ran down your face. You pushed until Andy pulled away, holding you tight by your waist.

“Please, let me go.” You sobbed, uncomprehending of how things had gotten so out of hand.

“No. We will make sure this kid is mine. After tonight, no one will doubt their parentage.” He said and stood up, pulling your resisting body with him towards your bedroom. He more or less dragged you inside, locking the door and throwing you on your bed.

You crawled away from him, clutching your robe tight in fear as he came closer. His blue eyes had gotten darker, and you couldn’t look away as he unbuttoned his shirt.

“Please, don’t do this. Why are you doing this?” You begged, body trembling as he came closer. You shifted away but Andy dragged you back by your ankle, holding your body down with his weight as his hands came to remove your clothes.

“I’m making our relationship legit. I am giving myself a new chance at family with a perfect mother who will raise a good kid with me.” He said, kissing you again. Your robe slipped away, and Andy’s hands went under your t-shirt, racing up to cup your tits. He groaned in your mouth, tasting you and your tears as you weakly protested.

“No. You can’t do this.” You said, crying harder when his lips went from your jaw to your neck, kissing sweetly. His beard scratched against your skin, hands pinned underneath his massive body as he vowed to claim you and your kid.

“I can. I can do this, and you can’t stop me.” He whispered hotly in your ear, fighting your t-shirt off your wiggling body. Your bare chest met cold air, and soon enough your nipples were enveloped with the warmth of Andy’s mouth. He suckled gently, then harder, biting then soothing the sting with his tongue.

“These tits now belong to me.” He said, moving over to lavish is attention to the other breast before dipping lower to pepper kisses over your stomach. “Don’t worry little one, daddy is here. You’ll always have a father in me.”

You grew tired as your limbs hurt, your pathetic hits doing nothing to Andy. He seemed not to notice your cries or pleas, his nose nudging against your covered mound. You made one last effort to fight, kicking out your legs to push him away but Andy caught them, turning you on your side and delivering a sharp slap to your backside that had you gasping in pain and shock.

“Don’t be a fucking brat. You have to be a good mother to our child. You need to learn obedience to teach obedience.” He scolded you, pulling down your shorts and panties in a quick move. You sagged helplessly, not fighting anymore as Andy stripped off his own clothes. Any other day you would have appreciated how good he looked for a man his age, but now all you registered was how huge and strong he was, how easily he could overpower you.

He pulled your legs apart, baring your pussy to his hungry eyes. To your mortification, your folds were wet with slick, the curls on your mound glistening with the evidence of your arousal. You hid your face in embarrassment, unable to watch as Andy placed a kiss on the hood of your clit.

“Beautiful” He said breathlessly. “Absolutely gorgeous. Jacob never deserved you. He wouldn’t know how to handle a girl like you.”

With the first contact of his tongue, you bit your lip to stifle your moans. No man had eaten you with such passion before, as if you were a feast prepared for a man starved for years. Andy took his time exploring your pussy, opening you up like a flower before nudging his tongue in every fold, every crevice of you. He slurped and sucked, using his lips and tongue and teeth with such precision that you didn’t realize you were howling openly in the air now.

He eased one finger inside your entrance, lips pulling at your hard nub in a way that shot tingles up your spine. You fisted the bedsheet, twisting this way and that, unknowingly thrusting your pelvis in Andy’s face who could feel you were close.

“Let go darling,” He urged, “let go for me. Cum!”

You snapped, your back arching as you spilled around his finger that was clamped tightly in your velvet heat, his mouth greedily collecting all the moisture with relish. Pleasure left you lethargic and you didn’t react as Andy crawled up your body, kissing you while he coated his huge tool in your juices.

“Andy” You softly whispered, falling into a daze as he entered you slowly. Your still pulsing channel was snug against his cock, the hair at his base rubbing deliciously against your clit. He was way larger than his son and you felt full in a way you had never before.

“Your pussy belongs to me. You belong to me from now.” He promised, moving in and out of you at an agonizingly slow pace. He made your feel every ridge of his cock that rubbed against your spongy walls, he had you giving a high pitch screech every time he hit bottom. The mattress under you bounced with the movements of your body and your hands found themselves around Andy’s neck.

“I just want to be a good mother. I didn’t ask you for this.” You said, unable to keep your moans inside as he went faster.

“You need a strong man who will give you a family. Our kid will grow in a house of love. I will love you both and so will you.”

You tensed as he teased your clit, twiddling it with his thumb as he hit harder and deeper. His eyes were fixed at your entrance, watching enthralled as he went in and out of your body. The sounds of slapping skin and squelching fluid that dribbled down from your cunt to the bedsheet echoed around the room, and soon, you were falling again. You came with Andy’s name on your lips, both a curse and a prayer as you felt him groan and twitch inside you.

His warm cum painted your walls, marking you as his. He stayed in for sometime, holding you possessively close to his sweaty body until you were sure you smelt like him. He pulled out, appreciating how him cum flowed out of your abused hole and he smiled. Softly kissing your forehead, he gathered you in his arms and pulled a sheet over your slightly trembling frame, soothing you with gentle caresses.

“I knew it the moment he brought you home to meet me for the first time. You were too good for him. He never loved you right, never treated you like the princess you were. But now I’ve got you. You’ll wake up to coffee and breakfast and lazy kisses in bed, you’ll come home to a comfortable house and a dick that will give you a show of heaven. I’ll love you like you deserve to be loved. With reverence and devotion.”

He left you, coming back to clean the mess between your legs gently. He fed you himself, wiping every tear with a kiss until you stopped crying all together. Looking at him, the man who had violated your trust and body with equal parts of force and love, you wondered for a moment how drastically your life would change now.

You did not want him to accompany you inside, but he did. He snatched your report from your hand, keeping a hold over your waist until you went back to the car. Sitting beside you on the driver’s side, he tore open the envelope and pulled out your blood report, falling backward with a long sigh.

“What? What is it?” You asked, quickly taking it from his hands and reading. The paper crinkled as your fingers dug in it, tears of pain building in your eyes.

Negative

Not pregnant

It had all been for nothing. You didn’t have the Barber’s heir inside you and last night Andy had taken you by force for nothing. You crushed the report, wiping at your eyes and found his gaze on you.

“You fucked me for nothing.” You spat acidly, frustration and pain clawing at your heart. “I am not pregnant. And I am going.”

Before you had ever turned to open the door, Andy was pulling you roughly to himself, hauling your struggling body over his lap.

“You’re not going anywhere darling. You’re mine now. I’m not pathetic like my son. Unlike him, I will put a baby in you.” He growled in your ear, kissing a hot trail against your neck. You shook your head, looking at him in disbelief.

“But – but I’m not pregnant.” You said again, hoping he’ll understand.

“I know baby” He cooed, “but soon enough, you will be. Let’s go home and make it happen.”

[madamedevien]

Infernal Heat

Hey! It’s been a while - I really miss you guys.  Anyway, I know that a lot of you were keeping up to date with my Mammon x GN! Reader fic...while I’m updating it regularly on my AO3, I thought that I’d post the chapters that I’ve got here as well. I’m planning for it to be a 4 chapter fic, but let’s see how that goes! Warnings in tags (both here and AO3) - monster fucking comes into play much more come Chapter 3 and 4. The biggest thanks to @mawwart for their inspiration and @popcherrypop for reading over what I had all those months ago and actually helping me find direction. I’ve got a bigger/cheesier spiel on AO3, but anyway. Fingers crossed that the ‘Keep Reading’ line shows up here...

Chapter 1: Embers

The Great Mammon had woken up in a mood. He'd felt this creeping up for days now and he wished that it would just come and go already. It was hella distracting to have a constant tug of warmth and want in your gut, y'know? And it was annoying to feel the incessant need to primp and to add to the nest of pillows, blankets, sentimental and decorative items that now overtook most of his bed. But he was due a heat cycle. Annoyingly, he felt that it was probably going to settle in properly on that particular day and he'd been wrangled into going shopping by you. And for whatever reason he'd agreed. Not because he had a crush on you or anything. Damn, he couldn't even remember what you two were meant to be shopping for, that's how addled his mind was. Mammon really just wanted to stay put and perfect his nest. Maybe show it off to you. Although he wasn't sure if you'd appreciate the fact that he'd stolen a few items of yours while on laundry duty to tuck into said nest. Or that he wanted to maybe do something kind of nasty to a piece of your clothing. If not you. 

But would you want to? To see his nest? To lay in it, lay with him, to mate with him? He wanted you to. So very, very badly. He didn’t feel like he deserved you but, oh, to say that he wanted you was a vast understatement. Fuck. 

He groaned and threw one of his tanned arms over his eyes. The silveret realised that he was going to have to partially dislodge his beautiful nest to pull out Goldie (he couldn't go shopping without her - the very thought was offensive!) and that he was going to have to get rid of his raging boner before he faced you. 

So into a cold shower he trudged, loudly cursing the whole time.

---

Longest shopping trip in fucking history. 

It seemed like you were in need of freakin' everything imaginable. He wasn't to know that you were actually just taking your time because it'd been a while since the two of you had some time to yourselves. The demon had been acting strangely around you the past few days, although he was completely oblivious to just how weird it’d been for you.

And today, the Avatar of Greed just wasn't engaging. Questions went unanswered, as if he hadn't heard even when clearly looking at you, no boasting or sulking occurred, no bets or harebrained schemes hatched...he didn't even take you up on your offer of Hell Sauce Noodles! The demon was completely disinterested in all of this - the only thing he was interested in was you. He was also trying very very hard not to let his thoughts slip into anything inappropriate. Which was probably the single most difficult thing he’d had to do in all of his many years. Mammon wanted to take your hand and lace your fingers together; to shamelessly nuzzle your cheek in front of everyone on Silent Avenue. The thought made his heart swell. Better yet, if you were mated, he could kiss you in front of the whole crowd before publicly mounting you and-

Damn, it was hard to keep lewd thoughts at bay. He could feel his cheeks burning and looked away when your concerned expression turned to him. 

On the trek home (finally!), he fell into a lazy pace behind you and Mammon couldn’t help it as you walked together. His cerulean gaze raked over the beautiful curve in your neck - the space was perfect. In his mind, he could see how perfectly his head would fit and how the mark he could leave there would only accentuate the beauty of your skin. It’d be a gorgeous brand that would loudly proclaim to all, ‘I am mated to THE Great Mammon, the Avatar of Greed and Second of the Seven; don’t you dare even think to touch me’. The very notion only caused the flush of heat over his skin to worsen and his breath to hitch; he wanted to tear into his flesh to relieve himself of the insufferable and fiery itch.

The same thoughts washed over his brain again and again like some cruel tide, even once you'd passed through the doors of the House of Lamentation.

It took only a scant moment. He didn’t even think. The silver haired demon was aware that he was losing his mind due to his damned biology, but he didn’t realise that he was so far gone that he would do something so stupid. It was only your screech that alerted him to the fact that he had pulled you tight to his chest, that he was actually in the process of sinking sharp fangs into your supple skin. The sudden realisation made him tear off of you in surprise. 

Beel had been the first to burst through a doorway and into the corridor. The redhead stopped dead in his tracks and stared wide-eyed at the two of you; you with your hand clamped over the section of your neck that had been bitten, and Mammon an arm’s length away from with a look of abject horror painted over his handsome features. Stupid Mammon, indeed. The next to burst in was Lucifer, who looked ready for a proper melee. The sound that had come from you had genuinely startled the older brother, not that he’d admit that if asked. As his garnet gaze took in the scene before him, his mouth twisted unpleasantly. “Mammon…” Lucifer’s voice was dangerously low. Mammon shook his head urgently in response, “Nonono, Luci, it didn’t - I mean, yeah, it is what it looks like an’ I didn’t mean ta, but it...it’s not deep enough. Y’know?” The second brother sounded desperate. Mammon anxiously twisted his rings around his tanned fingers and had to fight back the tears that threatened the edges of his vision. He could have hurt you. “Oh, I think you’ll find that it’s more than deep enough.” Lucifer stalked toward you and put his hand on top of the one you were using to cover your wound. “Let me see how much damage the fool inflicted on you”. Mammon could see the frown that pulled at your mouth as you revealed the bite mark to his brother. No proper damage - the indents might linger, but no blood had been drawn; no skin had been broken. 

“It was more from the surprise than pain, Lucifer. I just wasn’t expecting someone to bite me, you know? That’s the kind of thing that I’d expect more from a very hungry Beel.” Your attempt to lighten the mood only made the Avatar of Pride’s expression sour further - but Beel muttered a small, “Fair”. Lucifer sounded positively glacial when he spoke again. “Beelzebub, please take our brother to his room." The Avatar of Gluttony nodded solemnly, gently taking the second eldest’s shoulder. Mammon stared miserably at the floor, guilt clearly written on his flushed face although he couldn’t bring himself to say anything. He didn’t trust himself to. Not after such a stupid stunt. As the other two made their way up the stairs, Lucifer pinched the bridge of his nose. 

This wouldn’t be pleasant.

--

It was no surprise to Mammon that Lucifer texted him shortly after the whole ordeal. He was just thankful that Lucifer hadn’t decided to come up to his room and literally tear into him after biting you. Of all the people to bite in the entire Devildom, it just had to be you didn’t it? Lucifer: Mammon. I have strictly instructed the household that you are not to be disturbed until I have given the all clear. You will stay in your room and I will bring you provisions at regular intervals. If you need anything, you will let me know. Are we clear? Mammon: Yes. Lucifer: Good. He waited, hopeful that Lucifer would provide an update on you. After an eon of waiting (which was actually all of seven minutes) he decided to ask. Mammon: Are they okay?

Lucifer: They are. And they will continue to be so long as you stay in your room and do not venture out. Ensure that you lock your door and remember to take your pheromone blockers as well or the whole house will reek of your mating scent. What were brothers for, if not a good motivational speech? --- Chapter 2: Flames Even with Lucifer’s reminder, Mammon had forgotten to take the pheromone blockers and to lock the door. He’d been far too distracted; worrying about your state of health, whether he’d damaged your relationship beyond repair, still trying to keep the lewd thoughts at bay, his instincts fretting over the piece of nest that had been dismantled earlier… It was a lot to be preoccupied with, okay? Without the pheromone blockers, the corridor outside of Mammon’s room was thick with the sweet perfume of a demonic male in heat. It was rich and cloying, the kind of scent that would cling to one’s clothes much to the annoyance of the other residents (Asmodeus excluded).  Mammon, however, didn’t care. He was too busy now attempting to cool the heat in the pit of his stomach and to regain some clarity of mind. An attempt at sleep had been made once his nest had been repaired and Goldie tucked into her rightful place, the lights turned down low and his clothes discarded to some far corner so that he could crawl into the nest in a comfortable state...but how could he sleep when obscene images of you kept popping into his head?  At first, he had tried to keep some semblance of his mind. The demon didn’t like to lose control during his heats. If he could keep his mind, he would keep to his more humanoid forms - and that was what he wanted. Because if you did, by chance, happen upon him...well. He didn’t want to scare you. Before he allowed himself to spiral into the anxiety of your imagined reaction, he reached for his ridiculously large bottle of lube. If he was going to dwell on the thought of anything, it was going to be how good he knew you’d feel… --- Mammon wouldn’t have been able to say how much time had passed. He had brought himself to orgasm more times than he could count - but it only seemed to just take off the edge. A demon’s heat was never an easy thing, but why was this time around so damn difficult?  Satan would have been able to answer that with ease, the smug bastard; if a demon chooses a mate they will, naturally, be most inclined to couple with said mate for optimal breeding. To not couple with a chosen mate could make a heat worse - but to withhold coupling at all? Well, it would be a foolish endeavour.  The Avatar of Greed hadn’t realised just how he was slipping ; wings and horns had appeared without him even registering and his fangs had dropped to a predatory length (which he only noticed when he had apparently attempted to put a mating mark on a pillow covered in one of your stolen shirts that he’d been desperately rutting against, much to his embarrassment).  His breathing was rough. Mammon was equal parts exhausted and invigorated. He wanted nothing more than to let his knees fall out from under him so that sleep would hopefully take him - he wanted to stalk down the hall and into your room and fuck you senseless. And if Lucifer found out? Well, Mammon would love to see him try to pry you from his arms.  The very thought made him snarl, his grip on his cock tightening. It was enraging to even think that his brother would dare, a thought that had him so preoccupied that he didn’t hear the door click open.  His blue eyes slipped over to you and the wet sound of him furiously fucking his fist stopped abruptly. It was impossible to tell which one of you was redder. This was not what he had been expecting. “Uh-” A rasp of your name interrupted you. “Didn’t Lucifer tell you not to come?” He watched as you nodded dumbly, “Yes”. Heavy breath was the only noise to pass between you several beats. The demon in front of you was wondering whether this was fate; you weren’t running, you looked interested and, fuck, you smelled so good. You smelled aroused and it made him growl; “C’mere then”. The way that you slammed the door and scampered toward him practically had him preening in pleasure. Just as eager, Mammon scrambled over to meet you, flustered yet excited, and hauled you up close to him. He bumped your foreheads together. From here it was easy to see how incredibly blown his pupils were, to feel how desperately ragged his breathing was. You were dangerously close. “Now, see here, I'm gonna give ya one chance to go. ‘Cause if I kiss ya, I’m not gonna be able to stop. I won’t be able to let ya go. You’ll be stuck with me for the whole fuckin’ ride, ya hear?” Holy shit, his voice was so strained. “Then kiss me, you dummy.” No repeat was necessary. Mammon threaded his fingers into your hair, hesitating for only the briefest moment before pressing his lips to yours. When you responded in kind his fervour, his deep rooted greed, quickly followed. He’d wanted to kiss you from day one and not a moment had gone by since  without him imagining it. This felt so incredibly right. But he couldn’t ignore the heat curling in his gut. He needed you, wanted you. And as far as he could tell, despite the dark whispers in the back of his mind saying otherwise, you seemed to feel the same.The way that you returned his greedy kisses, how your fingers had twisted sharply in his hair, how you didn’t seem to mind the messy clicking of his elongated fangs against your blunt teeth as he tried to figure out how best to navigate your mouth in this form - how could he deny that he was wanted?  Mammon's only regret when looking back on this evening with you would be not savouring your body laid bare for him for the first time. His mind was too heat-addled to appreciate it; he was unable to slowly peel off your layers and to have the sentiment returned in kind as he had previously fantasised about. In his mind’s eye, he had a whole big romantic gesture planned if you had decided to sleep with him. Previously, he had imagined how he would make love to you and treasure every moment of it...but alas… Your clothes were quickly stripped from you, sharp fangs nipping at new skin as it was exposed. There was no delicate treatment here and he paid no heed to the sound of torn material. When he next plundered your mouth, it was far smoother than the first time - he was a fast learner, after all.  The only complaint that he had about kissing you was that it muffled those beautiful noises of yours. When he broke the seal of your mouths it was to gently toss you back toward the top of the bed, deeper into his nest and into the comfort of a ridiculous amount of pillows - to properly secure you into his nest. To see you like that felt...good. It felt right. It was clear that was exactly where you belonged. The very image had him growling in satisfaction as he took the opportunity to crawl over your body, his fingers gripping at the meat of your thighs and hips as if ensuring that you were truly there with him. Thankfully, his nails had not yet turned into talons or they would have pierced through you with ease at the way that he handled your flesh.  Mammon had to take a deep breath when he looked at you this time. He needed to make sure that he didn’t hurt you while doing this - it was the last thing in the world that he wanted. It was unusual for the Avatar of Greed to put the needs of others before his own...but you weren’t just some ‘other’. You were you. His very own treasure, his very own mate. Reluctantly, a hand left your body to fish for something buried within the nest. “You’re fuckin’ gorgeous,” He coated his fingers generously in lube, desperate to ensure that he would cause as little pain as possible, “Just fuckin’ perfect”. Two fingers slipped into you as Mammon spoke, his tone low and hoarse. Never had he imagined just how difficult it would be to hold himself back like this, nor could he have been prepared for just how much desire he felt in that moment. The sensation of your hot core wrapped around his fingers had him shamelessly rutting against your thigh, a poor attempt at taking the edge off of his lust.  A human really had no business wrecking him like this. His heat cycles were normally pretty boring - desperate rutting for a day or two and then back to normal life. You had no right to set his skin aflame like this, no right to have him feel like he could cum just from the noise you made once he had three fingers fucking into your heat. The way his blood was rushing in his ears was deafening...and he wanted more. It didn’t take too long for it all to get too much. Even all of the dark hickies that he had furiously littered your neck, chest and shoulders with weren’t enough to distract him from the wet sound of his fingers preparing you or the stunning sounds he managed to pull from you when he got the angle of his hand just right.  Mammon would never admit it, but he kind of missed his target. The point of removing his hand from you had been to slip himself right in. Instead, as he kissed you he rolled his slick cock against your sex...which, to be fair, had felt better than your thigh. And if the sound that you’d made in response was anything to go by, you thought so too.  He liked that noise. A lot. So he rolled his hips against you again, groaning in response to you. Ever eager to please, the greedy demon found a rhythm that you both seemed to enjoy in the interim. “Ya like that, huh?” Mammon wasn’t sure where the cockiness in his tone was coming from when internally he felt so nervous. It was those very nerves that quickly had his hand moving to guide his cock to your entrance and thrusting into you before you could retort. Mammon didn’t realise it would silence both of you.  By no means was he a virgin. The Great Mammon would have it known that he was a proper Casanova type, thank you very much. He just didn’t realise how different it would feel coupling with someone that he truly and deeply loved. The heat causing that deep need to breed the closest thing with a pulse didn’t help things, of course.  It was...incredible, for lack of a better word. Divine. Mammon choked on an Infernal curse once seated completely in you and had to literally bite his tongue to keep an anchor on his self-control.  All of that hard earned control was thrown out the window when his name passed your lips.  There was no hesitation in how his hips pistoned, fucking into you relentlessly. His hands manoeuvred to cradle the back of your knees and he pushed your legs back to allow him more access to your body, his fingers gripping hard enough to bruise. The noises that left him were snaps and snarls of Infernal praise, not that he realised. The only thought on Mammon’s mind was his primal objective of breeding you until neither of you could move ; it didn’t matter whether you could actually fall pregnant or not. No logic or worry clouded his mind with these thoughts. All he could focus on was filling you with his seed until he couldn’t any more, the thought of your stomach tender and round because of his affections toward his mate... Mammon’s first orgasm came with an embarrassing quickness. When he spilled inside of you, his teeth sinking into the tender flesh of your chest, he was quickly filled with a relief and warmth that he hadn’t felt in ages. For the first time since his heat had set in, there was true clarity in his mind. While his natural instincts weren’t completely quelled, it was enough for him to actually think with something other than his adamantly pulsing dick. His relief quickly fell to mortification, the shadows of which were clear on his features when he pulled back to look at you. His cheeks were tinted red both from exertion and embarrassment ; he hadn’t paid enough attention to get you to climax. He was quick to stutter out your name, mouth tripping on the words that were trying to get out of his mouth as his sluggishly content brain tried to supply words just beyond reach. “What, isn’t The Great Mammon going to make me cum?” Your sass fanned the flames in his loins. A playful snarl was made in response, “Oh sweetheart. I’m going to make you cum so fuckin’ hard you black out. You won’t be able to feel your legs by the time I’m done with you”. And so The Great Mammon set to work. --- Mammon hummed contentedly as you lazily played with the hair at the nape of his neck hours later. This was perfection. Strong fingers stroked your thighs as he enjoyed the sensation of you wrapped around his hips, the pleasure of you sat on his lap while cuddled up together in your nest. The demon toyed with the thought of pushing his hips up just to make you gasp from the overstimulation, but decided against it. Although he was loath to admit it, you needed rest - because Mammon had been good to his word, ensuring that you both had more than your fair share of orgasms.  But this was good. The fire in his gut had died down to crackling embers, although he knew it would flare up again soon - but you would be there to help ease him through it. And you even seemed to like helping him out. What was the phrase… ‘mutually beneficial’? Somethin’ like that. His eyes fluttered open when he heard your chuckle. He couldn’t help but wonder if you knew how freakin’ stunning you were when you smiled like that. “What?” When your eyes met his, he was pouting frowning. The laugh that you let out only made his brow furrow more, “I said what. What’s got ya laughin’ like that, huh? You should be out like a freakin’ light by now”. It wasn’t until you replied that he realised how obvious it was, “I didn’t know that demons could purr”. Mammon squawked loudly and attempted to divert your attention - he sounded like a damn motor! It wasn’t fair! He wasn’t even able to control the way he was going off… It was embarrassing. “Well, yeah, y’know, sometimes. We’re incredible ‘n mysterious creatures us demons, y’know! Demons are capable of things that your human mind couldn’t even comprehend! Anyway, ’s not like ’s all the time or anythin’ like that…” He tried to occupy himself and forget about the heat radiating from his face by playing with your hair - but he could feel you smiling against the crook of his neck. “Yeah?” “Yeah.” The incredible and mysterious demon sounded more like a petulant child (well, a purring and petulant child). “So, when do you normally purr?” “I dunno. When we’re happy, I guess?” “Does that mean I haven’t made you happy before?” The way that he spluttered was definitely worth teasing him. “Who said that ya haven’t made me happy?! ‘N besides, this is different!” Even Mammon couldn’t deny that he was now pouting, but he tried to focus on the feeling of your fingers running along his shoulders. It was nice; soothing, even. Until he felt a sharp tug on the back of his neck.  “Ouch! You gotta be more gentle than that!” The look of surprise on your face made him want to curl in on himself. “Mammon - are those feathers?” “Phffft,” The greedy demon rolled his eyes and tried to deflect your query, “Shaddap. You dunno what you’re talking ‘bout”.  When your mouth opened again, he did take the opportunity to thrust sharply into you. At the gasp, he lurched forward with a passionate kiss. Simply to shut you up, of course. No hidden agenda. His pleased purring melted into a deep rumbling, the fire in his belly stoking itself back to life. It was impossible for him not to roll you over to allow him to bask in more of your shared passion. The laughter that ensued, laughter that he was sure was aimed at him, only made his heart swell as much as his cock.

[luverofralts]

Arkhelios University

“I’m so glad you invited me over, I’ve never met a demon before. Well, a full demon that is, and one that’s not hiding what they are like Kamalani. Is it offensive if I ask to touch his horns? Just really quickly, nothing weird or anything.”

Ironman’s iron lips curved into a small smile. Servos weren’t naturally gifted with a wide range of facial movements, but Abraham hadn’t been satisfied with his creation until it could smile, frown and blink.

“Don’t touch his horns,” he advised, wrapping his metallic arms around his significant other. “Don’t stare either. If you have to speak, address Lucy. She has enough respect for me that she’ll go easy on you if you make a mistake. Remember, if this is a dead end, we can always try something else, but demons came through for Oriana, I don’t see why they couldn’t do the same for us.”

Nikolai nodded.

“Got it.”

“What time did you tell him to meet us?” Lucy asked angrily. “It’s already ten. Does he really think we have nothing better to do on a Saturday than wait for him?”

She leaned back in her chair while Michael, the head of her branch of demonic law, sighed beside her.

“He’s Kamalani’s son,” he groaned. “I’d expect nothing less. We’ll be lucky if he arrives sober and in appropriate attire. Dorhack’s circus of a family has always been difficult to tolerate. Every last one of them is convinced that the law doesn’t apply to them.”

“Sounds like Roman,” Lucy agreed. “Hopefully learning proper demonic magic in a formal setting will save Theo from following in his father’s footsteps.”

Michael sighed again, tapping his pen against the table irritably.

“There isn’t a school in existence that can fix Dorhack’s line.”

“Hey! I’m here!, I brought pie!”

Roman bounded into the room, holding a pie and looking flustered.

“Finally!” Lucy snapped. “We’ve been waiting forever.”

“Ironman wanted berry pie. It had to cool down before I could bring it,” Roman replied defensively. “I’m only twenty minutes late, calm down.”

“Who cares about the wants of a servo?” Michael demanded, straightening up in his chair to look imposing. “They can’t taste anything, and food is just wasted on them.”

“Ironman’s not like other servos,” Roman insisted, pulling up a seat at the table and shooting Lucy a dirty look.

“He’s right,” Lucy replied, looking sheepishly away from her boss. “He’s a part of the family and he taught Roman everything he knows about cooking. It may be dumb, but Ironman has always eaten dinner with us.”

Roman nodded approvingly. Ironman had helped Abe in so many ways while he was pregnant with Theo, and had risked his own safety to go into hiding with Theo while Roman and Abe faced down Kamalani. Theo owed his life to that servo and Roman would never forget it. Ironman had been there for all of Elaine’s children, including Lucy, and he deserved to be treated like a proper Helios.

“Is this everything?” Roman asked, looking at the mountain of paper sitting before him.

“Every document related to your mother’s legal history,” Lucy confirmed. “I have a disk with all of this digitized, but I find it’s helpful to start with paper and then reference the digital copies. It’s easier to understand when it’s all spread out like this.”

Roman stared at the stacks of paper nervously. He’d insisted on knowing the contents of his mother’s legal file and begged Lucy to explain them to him, but now that it was all here right in front of him, he was overwhelmed. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe it would be best if he just made an excuse and bolted from the house entirely.

No. You need to know this. This is important. How bad could it really be?

“You’re still wearing that ring you found,” Roman suddenly blurted, seeing the ring sparkle in the sunlight on Lucy’s hand. He tried to focus on the paper Lucy had shoved at him, but his mind kept wandering.

“Of course, it’s mine,” she replied, still glowering at him for being late and now for asking stupid questions. “It’s Osbert’s that he was planning to give to Jolanda. He said himself that I could keep it, so it’s none of your business. Turn to the index sheet already; I’m not spending all day looking at papers with you.”

“It looks pretty worn about the edges, and the inscription was worn off when you found it. How could it have been a gift that Jolanda never received and be that damaged? It looks like someone wore it everyday for years.”

Roman had an idea of who Osbert had really bought the ring for and his mind refused to focus on the task at hand as long as Lucy was wearing it. Had that ring been on his mother’s finger? Was it so worn from her wearing it every single day, dreaming about the perfect life she was going to have with Osbert? When had she lost it in the cavern under the Helios house? How could she have given up on finding something so dear to her? Did she do it on purpose? Was this another clue that his mother had left him to follow? If so, what did it mean?

It was a relief to have all these crumbs of his mother’s life to piece together. In a way, he felt closer to her than he ever had while living with her. She was leaving a trail for him because he was smart enough and worthy enough to figure it out. Abe was wrong to have his doubts about these clues. They were clearly meant for him.

“Roman, I swear to god, I’m going to stab you with a kitchen knife if you don’t start paying attention!”

Roman’s focus snapped back to Lucy, who looked like she might actually follow through on her threat at any second.

“Sorry, sorry. I’m paying attention.”

“Turn to the index page that addresses your mother’s deals involving acquiring property!”

For an agonizing eternity, Roman listened to Lucy ramble on about every single deal his mother had made that involved vacation properties, and then rental properties, and then farmhouses...it never seemed to end.

“Can we please discuss more interesting deals,” Roman begged, catching Lucy before she began reciting case numbers. “I don’t care if she made a deal with someone to buy a boat or a house or anything else. What are the important deals? What was her first or last deal? Anything other than this!”

Lucy and Michael shared a nasty glance, but Lucy put down the sheet she was holding and reached for a new folder.

“Fine, it will get us out of here faster. You can’t file a complaint against us for an incomplete appointment if you order us to skip details. Keep that in mind.”

Like I’m ever going to file a complaint about you. I tried appealing a case you pushed through and look where that got me.

“Yes, fine, I understand,” Roman sighed. “What’s her oldest deal? Do we know how old she is? I’ve seen pictures of her with Grandma that I don’t understand at all.”

“Unlike your own situation, demons tend to have children much later in life than humans,” Michael helpfully supplied, ignoring the dirty look Roman was giving him. “Dorhack has only two recorded children. As one of the Great demons, his true age has been lost to time and known only to him and his contemporaries. Your mother’s age has been estimated to be around two hundred and ninety-seven. Approximately, that is. There was no public filing of her birth or a listing of her potential mother or father. Your mother first appears on record when she comes of age and performs her first deal. Usually that’s around age nineteen or so, but it can vary.”

“My mom is almost three hundred years old?” Roman gasped. He’d been guessing that she might be closer to eighty or ninety years, but nearly three hundred? “How old are you?”

“I know that you weren’t brought up with our customs, but surely you can appreciate a demon’s desire to avoid that question,” Michael replied politely, returning his attention to the files in front of him. “Her first recorded deal was the resurrection of a woman’s young son in exchange for her soul. The resurrection was incomplete and the soul shattered upon removal. A spectacular failure and a source of great shame for her father.”

“I’m glad I’m not the only one in this family who can’t get anything right,” Roman mumbled to himself. His mother always managed to make him feel small and unimportant, but she had started out just like him.

“Second deal, eternal beauty of a young girl in exchange for twenty years off of her life. Resulted in intense scarring of the subject and Kamalani Romana being sentenced to a ban on deal making until a training course had been completed. Third deal-”

“Wait, Kamalani Romana?” Roman interrupted quickly, earning him another dirty look from the impatient demon. “Her maiden name is Romana? I could be named Roman Romana? Or maybe Roman Romana the Great?”

“It’s her middle name, stupid. Great demons don’t have last names. That’s why she’s so attached to Bellamy,” Lucy replied irritably. “Why do you think people call him Dorhack the Great and your mom just ‘Kamalani’?”

“She named me after herself,” Roman said incredulously. “I’m not named after a painter, I’m named after her! She gave me her own name, Lucy!”

Lucy took one look at the excitement on Roman’s face and sighed.

“Oh god, not this again. Roman, your mom doesn’t care about you. Just give it up already.”

A small knock on the wall interrupted Lucy’s impending tirade. An extremely shy looking Nikolai Bagpuss stood before the group, holding a slice of pie in his hand.

“Um, I was wondering if maybe we could take a break, and I could talk to Professor Hobbs over some pie? There’s something that Ironman and I would like to talk to him about.”

Lucy took this interruption as her opportunity to leave the discussion and sit out by the pool to relax with a slice of pie. With any luck, Roman would get bored of his official consultation and run off to find Abe. Maybe she could call Abe and have him bring the kids over for a swim.  Anything to get out of a nice Saturday going over case law with Roman.

“I got your message about the berry pie. I hope I got the right berries; I haven’t been able to go to the grocery store this week. Three kids keep me pretty busy most days,” Roman said, watching Ironman sample his work.

“These are agreeable,” Ironman confirmed, baffling the demon watching him curiously. “Maybe blueberries next time?”

“Do you have a preference for blueberries?” Michael asked curiously and Roman could see him mentally taking notes about the strange, eating robot. “Are they a favourite because of the taste or are you suggesting them for their nutritional value or specific chemistry?”

“I like the way they interact with my food processor,” Ironman replied. “They are a favourite of Theo’s as well. As a baby, he used to mash them into my face plate, so I suppose they remind me of him. Now Elaine has always preferred strawberries and I-”

“He gets the point,” Roman interrupted, gesturing towards the baffled demon with his head. “I’ll add some blueberries next time, maybe on Friday when Theo comes home from school. You should probably just ask Mr. Hobbs your question before Lucy comes back. I’m getting the feeling that this appointment isn’t going to run for the allotted time.”

“It’s Professor Hobbs, Doctor Hobbs if that title doesn’t suit you,” the demon stressed, looking at Roman like he was an idiot. Roman could see why Lucy’s coworkers loved her. This Michael was just slightly less intimidating than she was on a bad day.

“Dr. Hobbs, I wanted to ask about the feasibility of...of having a child of my own,” Ironman said nervously. “My ex-partner Oriana did her best to research whether it was possible scientifically, but I feel that her heart may have been conflicted and she may have missed an opportunity. She seemed to be focused on having a human baby with her own ex-partner, so I hoped to confirm her findings with an expert. Is it possible for a servo to reproduce, and if so, what is the cost of such a deal?”

Both Roman and Michael looked baffled at the idea of a servo asking such a question. Roman felt bad for Ironman. For generations, the servo had raised the children of others, even promising to raise Theo alone if the Helios family had been destroyed by Dorhack or Kamalani. Having a child was one of the reasons that Oriana had pulled away from him, though Roman couldn’t disagree with Ironman’s opinion that Oriana had just gotten more excited at the idea of scientifically creating life and having a piece of Benvolio with her. It wasn’t really like Oriana to be a hands on parent, and even Juliet, who Oriana had spent months trying to break the laws of science to create, was ultimately mostly as ignored as Nickolas had been.

Beside Roman, Michael looked baffled at the question. He had always known that Lucy came from a non-traditional family, but the food loving family servo wanted to create a family of his own? If there had been a single case to establish a precedent, Michael had never come across it.

“Do you have anything to offer a demon?” he asked, as politely as he could. Perhaps this human like servo would be as offended as a human would be if he just flat out asked if the servo had a soul or biological energy to harvest. The humans didn’t tend to like being reminded that demons required something in return for their magic.

Ironman looked helplessly at Roman for a suggestion, but Roman was at a loss.

“Do you have an internal email address, or other method of communication?” Michael asked finally after enduring an awkward silence. “Since you mean so much to our dear Lucy, I’ll make some calls. I know a few necromancers that might be eager to experiment with biological material.”

“Uh, thanks?” Roman replied nervously. Demons were one thing, but necromancers?

Roman was cut off by the sound of loud, happy squeals.

“Pool party with Aunt Lucy!”

Roman briefly saw his son run by in his bathing suit, ready to jump straight into Elaine’s pool. Abe appeared a few seconds later, his arms full of wiggling toddlers trying to follow their brother.

“Lucy called you to get out of our meeting?” Roman asked wearily, and Abe nodded.

“It was apparently urgent and important that we all come swim. I take it you’re done with your meeting?“

“Leave the girls with Lucy and come get some pie,” Roman said, gesturing to Lucy’s empty seat. “I did manage to find something interesting.”

[revirushifaa]

Smile For Me More

Summary: Lucifer is overworking himself more than usual, and is more than drained, he's much more sleep-deprived and his bad mood shows more frequently, his brothers notice it and think on a way to make him less uneasy. They ask MC if they can go make the prideful demon smile for once, which they oblige.

A small one-shot dedicated to our favorite prideful demon, Luci.

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"I do not want a mess while I'm working, are we clear? Or else the consequences will be so severe." A so-done-for-the-day Lucifer glared at his brothers, MC included. His glare could tear through steel, and it was very frightening. Then he turned around and exited the room, the door slammed shut behind him.

"Jeeze, he's more uptight than other days..." Mammon huffed looking in the direction his brother just went. He was a lot more scolded and lectured by Lucifer than many other times, taking notice of how tired he was.

"I would've said that this is normal Lucifer, but I do agree, he's so tense and I think he's lacking sleep, you noticed his dark rings? Bad mood happens when there is sleep deprivation." Leviathan spoke up, also agreeing that something was off with Lucifer.

"Why, lack of sleep is fatal for the skin, I can only imagine Lucifer's skin being so dry without any scent!" Asmo piped up, looking at himself through the mirror he was always holding.

"MC, can you go see about him, and maybe make his night a bit more peaceful for him?" Beelzebub asked MC who was with them, and they blinked, but nodded with a smile.

"Of course, Beel. I'll try my best to put him at ease-"

"Wait, hold on, just a second!" Mammon complained. "Why is it to be MC the one to make Lucifer less stressed?" As always feeling jealous when any of his brothers spent more time with them. The others rolled their eyes.

"Mammon, if we want Lucifer to stop being so tensed up and uptight, MC is the indicated for that. Stop being so jealous, we know that you just want MC for yourself." Levi huffed at his older brother, and he tried to deny it.

"Huh?! Me? Jealous? That's stupid! Why would I be jealous about a human spending more time with the oldest? So stupid!" Mammon denied it and he crossed his arms, like a child in a temper. "Fine! Go after Lucifer for all I care! It's always him this and always him that, I don't care anymore!"

"Don't worry, Mammon. I'll organize my time better and next time I'll spend it with you." MC smiled gently at the greedy brother, and he blushed looking away.

"Y-you don't have to. I'm fine. Just go after Lucifer, before he comes here and yells at all of us for any dumb reason!"

--

Meanwhile in his study, Lucifer was swamped with many, many papers he had to read and sign and he was just so exhausted, his head throbbed with pain, his shoulders also hurt and he just wanted to be done with this.

"At this rate I will not be able to fulfill all these... another night without sleep, I guess." He sighed in defeat and continued with that. Sure, Diavolo told him that he could take the weekend off, since he's seen his work and knew how overworked and exhausted he was, but this demon's pride did not let him accept a so much needed and deserved break. He chose to overwork himself.

There was a knock on the door and Lucifer sighed. Please not Mammon wanting to go spend all their money, this wasn't the time for that, he was very busy to deal with the second-born's antics, but perked up when it was a different voice.

"Lucifer, may I come in?"

It was MC. Well, pleasant visitor, he'd rather have them in than any of his rowdy younger brothers.

"Come in, MC. It's open."

MC opened the door and entered, closing the door from behind and they walked over to Lucifer, they were holding a tray with tea and a side of cookies.

"Luci, you're so tensed up and so uptight, take the rest of the night off, let's spend it together."

Lucifer liked how that idea sounded inwardly, but his pride. His precious pride wouldn't allow him.

"MC, I do not have the time for that as much I would have loved to. Maybe next time." He looked down at his paper, but MC was determined to not let him keep working, they stopped his writing hand from writing and held his gaze.

"You know you want to. Please, Luci, you deserve this more than all that pile of work."

Lucifer held the human's gaze back, this one was very determined into doing what they wanted. But fine, he relented. Seeing that they so wanted to make him less stressed. He placed his pen down.

"Alright, you win. I'll spend the night with you, so you better make it worth it otherwise I will waste time on my work. So you better not make this something regretful."

MC grinned triumphantly. "Don't worry, my dear Luci, you won't regret this! Come on, let's go to your room and spend it in there. They were holding the tray in one hand and the other reached to take Lucifer's hand which he willingly gave it to them.

"Lead the way, MC. I'll be following you this time."

They walked out of the study, Lucifer locking the door and putting the keys inside his pocket, then following the human eagerly to his room. Once inside, the first-born made sure his room were cursed as to drive away any curious brother who wanted to come and ruin their night.

"Alright, first part of our night, playing chess." MC revealed and Lucifer had this smirk on.

"Alright, but be warned. I never lose in chess." He said proudly and went to sit down by the black side of the chessboard. MC placed the tray with the tea and the cookies and went for the white side of it. Of course they knew they didn't stand a chance against the Avatar of Pride, but they just wanted to put him better than his current state of exhaustion and sleep deprivation-

"Go ahead, you move first."

MC took the knight and placed it in the middle. Lucifer went with his pawn and put it by the middle too.

Ten minutes into the game and MC was cornered.

"Checkmate. See, I told you. I'm just glad that you're not like Leviathan who by this point would be throwing a big fit." Lucifer chuckled softly and the sound of it was like music to MC's ears.

"Luci..." They held his gaze for a moment, the demon cocking his head to the side, wondering what they wanted.

"Yes? What seems to be the matter, MC? You are not cranky because I won in chess, now are you?"

MC shook their head, smiling sweetly. "I love your laugh, Luci. Please can you smile more for me?"

Lucifer blinked and sighed. "As much as I would love to. I do not feel like smiling. My graceful smile died long ago..." With Lilith. He didn't say that loudly, but that was the feeling that he had inwardly for centuries now. The death of his sister was still pretty present in his head and he was not going to just forget about it. It was his sister, his beloved little sister. He may not seem like it, but he's been hurting and grieving for a long, long time now.

"Luci..." MC wrapped their arm around his shoulder. "Is it about... Lilith?" How did the human know about his sister? He sighed.

"How did you know about my sister?"

"Beel told me about her... about her story and how she died. I'm so sorry for your loss, even if it was long ago... but," They cupped the demon's face in their arms, holding his gaze. "Wouldn't Lilith have wanted you to smile, and not stay grim and gloom for the rest of your years? She would've wanted you to at least smile... for her."

Lucifer looked at their eyes in silent... why did their eyes just remind him of Lilith? And that smile? He put his hands on MC's hands that were holding his cheeks. And the unexpected occured...

Lucifer's lips curled up into a genuine, graceful smile. MC practically jumped inside their mind. Lucifer smiled. Lucifer who was always keeping that grumpy, serious look. He smiled... they had to treasure his smile, it was radiant than the sun, than the stars and moon. A bright ray of light... just like how he was. A light. A light outside the tunnel.

"Luci..." They smiled back, and nuzzled his cheeks with their fingers, they were soft and loving caresses. "Your smile is just brighter than anything that is bright. Shining in radiant glory, oh, Luci, never lose this smile... keep smiling for me... for Lilith."

"As you wish... dearest star. My star." He kept the smile on, even when they shared a kiss and held one another close. Mission accomplish, MC had managed to make the Avatar of Pride happy again, they witnessed his smile, and they would treasure it, forever.

A smile to remember for eternity.

[twomanyideas]

The Grill Next Door

A collaboration by @mdelpin​​​​ and @oryu404​​​​

Gratsu Week 2021 Prompt(s): Impress, Smile, Smokey Pairing: Gray x Natsu

AO3

Summary: Natsu had to repress a loud snort when he caught his first glimpse of his neighbor. The guy was dressed in only a pair of black boxers, his fair skin slick and shiny from the thick layer of sunblock he had applied. His back had white streaks and missed spots all over it from where he hadn’t been able to distribute it evenly, and some of the lotion was sticking to the dark hairs on his neck.

But the absolute worst thing of all was that he obviously had no idea how to use a barbeque properly.

0-0 Summer was arguably the worst time to be moving. Who in their right mind would want to spend all day inside unpacking boxes when it was 90 degrees outside? Definitely not Natsu, and yet here he was, dragging another box full of stuff up the stairs in his new home. He was grateful for his friends, who had been there when he’d gotten the key and helped him clean the house, paint some walls, and install the larger pieces of furniture. But now that there was only the smaller clutter left, he was on his own, and he was missing out on all the summer fun. His friends were all enjoying themselves without him; spending their free time at the beach or the pool, barbecuing in their yards, raiding the ice cream parlor… “Soon…” Natsu sighed to himself. Soon, he could join them again. He just had a few more boxes filled with necessary items to go.

He’d already unpacked the ones filled with kitchen utensils and Happy’s stuff. All that was left were his toiletries and a few clothes. He’d sort through the rest of his crap bit by bit, one or two boxes every night until he was done. That way, he could still get the most out of the vacation days he'd pulled out for moving. He opened the box he’d brought upstairs with him and groaned; of course, he’d grabbed the wrong one. Instead of towels and shower products, he was looking at some of the housewarming gifts he’d gotten. A key hanger from Lucy, because he was always losing his keys. A baking set from Erza, which Natsu had to admit was the most optimistic gift he’d ever gotten, and a cute houseplant from Wendy, carefully wrapped up in brown paper, with wet paper towels to keep the soil moist.

There were a few more small gifts, but Natsu’s attention was drawn to the flat package at the bottom. More specifically, to the image that was on it, giving away what was inside: a bright pink flamingo kiddie pool. “So you can have a pool in your backyard!” Sting had grinned when Natsu unwrapped the gift. It was obviously a gag gift, and at the time, Natsu had seen the humor in it. He’d even joked that he’d call Sting for a pool party once he was all settled in, but right now, it only fueled his longing to do something fun. Actually… Screw unpacking, he’d do that later. One look through the window, at the bright blue sky and the burning sun, was all it took to finalize his decision. He picked up the box and took it downstairs again, quickly watering the plant before it could die in the summer heat, and putting it on a windowsill. Leaving the rest of the box’s contents for now, he took out the inflatable pool and started digging through one of the other boxes in search of his swim trunks.

He’d done enough for today. He was going to sit in his backyard and enjoy his stupid pool, damn it. Once he’d changed into his swimwear, he applied a thin layer of sunblock he’d found during his search for a towel. He went outside with the pool under his arm, sticking his foot out when he slipped through the sliding door to keep Happy from sneaking outside.

“Sorry buddy, you can’t go out yet,” he apologized, knowing that it was for the best.

They'd only moved in a few days ago, and Happy needed to get used to his new home. If he were to run away, he'd get lost trying to find his way back to their old apartment, and the last thing Natsu wanted was to end up like Rogue, who had spent all night frantically searching for Frosch when he had just moved in with Sting and failed to shut the front door behind him fast enough. Still, Natsu couldn’t help but feel guilty at the sight of Happy pawing at him from behind the glass. Maybe he could get him a cat leash tomorrow, so he could at least explore the backyard safely. One thing was for sure, he’d definitely give him some of his favorite fish treats to make up for a few hours of sitting alone inside. With that in mind, he smiled and took a deep breath, inhaling the fresh summer air and the delicious smell that came along with it. It was one of his favorites, and he instantly recognized it. One of his neighbors was grilling in his backyard. Too curious for his own good, Natsu followed the scent. His nose told him it was coming from the house to his left, from the backyard that was only separated from his by a tall wooden fence. Tall, but not tall enough to keep Natsu away. He was just able to peek over the top if he stood on his tippy toes.

He wanted to get an idea of who was living next to him, that’s all. Okay, and maybe he wanted to live through them a little as they indulged in one of his all-time favorite summer activities. \

Natsu had to repress a loud snort when he caught his first glimpse of his neighbor. The guy was dressed in only a pair of black boxers, his fair skin slick and shiny from the thick layer of sunblock he had applied. His back had white streaks and missed spots all over it from where he hadn’t been able to distribute it evenly, and some of the lotion was sticking to the dark hairs on his neck. But the absolute worst thing of all was that he obviously had no idea how to use a barbeque properly. “You know, your food is going to cook more evenly and taste a lot better if you close the lid,” Natsu suggested, bursting out in laughter when the guy jumped and almost dropped his tongs. “Idiot!” He whirled around and glared at Natsu, waving the tongs in the air as he stomped closer. Damn! This guy was actually pretty cute when he was mad.

"I almost burned myself. What were you thinking?!"

"That you weren't doing those ribs the justice they deserve," Natsu retorted, frustration rising within him once he managed to tear his eyes away from his half-naked neighbor and focus back on the grill. All that delicious aroma-filled smoke that would've added so much flavor to that gorgeous meat was getting away!

It was a fucking crime.

"Pay attention to what you were doing, you jackass! You gotta flip them over!"

The guy quickly returned to his grill to tend to his ribs, cursing as he fumbled with the tongs while trying to keep a safe distance between the searing heat of the barbecue and his own bare ribs.

"Man, you really suck at this," Natsu couldn't resist pointing out.

"Oh, and I suppose _you _could do better?"

In all honesty, Natsu was a terrible cook. He lacked the ability to multitask in the kitchen, always made an enormous mess, and often combined ingredients that his friends insisted should never be combined.

However, cooking and grilling were two completely different things to him. His dad had taught him how to cook meat on an open fire or a makeshift grill during camping trips since he was little, and he had it down to a fine art by now.

"You're damn right I can," he scoffed, taking the question as a challenge and being kind enough to climb over the fence and invite himself to his neighbor's backyard so he could show him how it was done.

"What are you doing?!"

"Saving your meat, of course! Move over."

Too stunned by what was happening, the guy didn't protest when Natsu snatched away the tongs. He just watched with his mouth open as Natsu flipped the ribs and set the grate to a higher level, making sure they'd cook slower. And much to Natsu’s amusement, it wasn't just the grill he was staring at.

Satisfied with his intervention, Natsu closed the lid and stepped back. "There, that should do it!" he grinned, putting the tongs down on a plate on the nearby table so he could hold out his hand in greeting. "I'm Natsu, by the way. I just moved here last Wednesday."

"... Gray," his neighbor replied, frowning warily but still accepting Natsu's hand and shaking it briefly. "Do you always stick your nose into other people's business like that?"

“Just wait, you’ll be thanking me soon enough.” Natsu said, amused by his neighbor's grumpy tone. “Anyway, you should be fine as long as you leave the lid closed for about an hour.”

“An hour?” Gray complained, “I thought grilling was supposed to be faster.”

“I mean, do you want fast, or do you want good?” Natsu drawled suggestively. He wasn’t sure if it was the beautiful weather or just the high he felt from having had a hot guy so obviously checking him out because normally he wasn’t much of a flirt, but he felt the urge to test the waters. “Cause I could show you both.”

Gray surprised him by laughing heartily at his innuendo. “There is seriously nothing subtle about you, is there?”

“Nope.” Natsu agreed and laughed along. “Well, it was nice to meet you. I’ll leave you to your grilling, gotta go set up my pool.”

He climbed the fence to get back into his yard, hearing Gray yell behind him. “You’re going to get yourself killed. Just use the gate next time.”

“But then, how could I show you my best asset?” Natsu retorted once he was safely over, chuckling as Gray muttered something he couldn’t quite make out. He wasn’t too worried, though. After all Gray had said next time.

0-0

Gray looked back at the grill, already tempted to open the lid and check on the ribs. What was he supposed to do for an hour? He’d mowed the grass earlier, and he didn’t feel comfortable staying inside while the grill was going.

The sun felt overly hot on his skin and he found shelter under a tree in his backyard. Playing on his phone had netted him ten minutes of entertainment and two group conversations he wasn’t all that interested in.

Maybe Natsu did know what he was talking about because the smell of the ribs cooking was making his mouth water in ravenous anticipation. Thinking about his new neighbor brought a smile to his face, especially since he heard odd noises coming from the other side of the fence. Didn’t he say something about a pool?

With all this time to kill, maybe he should go return the favor and see what he was up to.

With that in mind, Gray walked over to the fence and peered over it, unable to hold back a snort when he saw Natsu sitting on the ground and puffing air into a pink flamingo-shaped pool.

"Wow, I guess you really are full of hot air."

Natsu looked up at him, flashing that grin Gray was quickly developing a weak spot for. "So you think I'm hot?"

Yes, he sure as hell did, but he wasn’t about to give Natsu the satisfaction of saying so. At least... not yet.

“I think you’re having an awfully hard time blowing, which is… disappointing.”

"Huh. Never had any complaints before." Natsu shrugged, returning his attention to blowing air into the flamingo.

“Why don’t you let me show you how it’s done?” Gray said, feeling confident.

God knows he’d blown up a ton of these things for his brother’s kid. He’d quickly learned there was a little trick to it. You had to squeeze the valve as you blew into it or the air wouldn’t get in properly. Clearly, his hot dumbass of a neighbor didn't get that.

“You want to show me how well you blow?” Natsu tilted his head, looking amused by Gray’s suggestion. “How can I say no to that?”

Gray let himself into Natsu’s backyard, using the gate that connected their properties, like a normal person, and grabbed the pool away from Natsu. Using his trick, he quickly filled both rings of the pool.

“Color me impressed.” Natsu whistled in appreciation once Gray set the pool down on the grass. He filled it with water from the hose, which he oh so charmingly put between his legs, giggling to himself as he swung it around.

How the guy could go from flirting to acting like a five-year-old within the blink of an eye was beyond Gray, but he had to admit that it was oddly endearing.

Natsu jumped in with both feet as soon as the pool was filled, watching with glee as water sloshed out onto the grass from his efforts. He sat down, stretching his legs out in front of him, and immediately propped his arms around the pool’s rim.

“That feels so much better!” Natsu moaned happily.

Now that Natsu was inside it, Gray couldn't help but notice that the pool could fit two people, albeit a little snugly considering their size. And though normally he wouldn't be caught dead in one of these things- especially a pink flamingo one- it was a very hot day, and Natsu’s yard was a lot shadier than his.

"You want in?" Natsu asked, his lips stretching into a mischievous smile.

Gray’s eyes were drawn to the slightly pointy canines, finding them incredibly sexy, and he immediately wondered what kissing that mouth would feel like as Natsu patted the empty spot next to him invitingly.

What had gotten into him? He’d just met the guy, knew next to nothing about him, yet here he was acting like a hormone driven teenager. It wasn’t like him at all, but he couldn’t deny the chemistry that sizzled between them, so palpable he could almost touch it.

Besides, what was wrong with having a little fun? It was summer, and he had been in a bit of a dry spell for months.

That thought decided him.

“I suppose I could join you for a bit.”

He had just stepped one foot inside the pool when, to his surprise, Natsu stopped him. “Hang on a minute. I didn’t say you could come in. I only asked if you wanted to.”

“If you want in-” Natsu winked at him. “It’s gonna cost ya.”

“Cost me?” Gray sputtered in protest. “You can’t be serious.”

“Dead serious. I will be more than happy to share my pool with you on this incredibly hot day, but only if you share some of those ribs with me.”

Gray had already been planning on doing that, but it was infinitely more fun to make Natsu work for it.

“I don’t know,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck, which only netted him greasy fingers from the sunblock he’d slathered on earlier. “It seems to me like you’re getting the better end of the deal here. This is just a kiddie pool after all.”

“Alright, you drive a hard bargain, but I can respect that. How about this then? I’ll throw in some of my world famous special sauce.”

“World famous?” Gray scoffed, “It’s probably just something you picked up at the grocery store, but… okay, I’ll bite.”

“You promise?” Natsu gave him a cheeky smirk, one that ignited a need in Gray to get in that damn pool right the hell now and show him what he intended to do.

“You’ve got yourself a deal,” Gray said. “Just don’t complain if it ends up being more than you bargained for.”

Gray was so determined to get in there that he completely forgot he was already partly in the pool, and tripped over the edge when he tried to step in. He caught himself with his hands but still ended up splashing Natsu, not to mention had the wind yanked out of his sails.

He looked up to see the damage. The water had darkened Natsu’s pink hair and flattened it against his face, softening his features and somehow making the bastard look even more attractive. Gray watched in rapt fascination as a drop of water traveled from Natsu’s cheek, joining others on its way down his neck and over his chest until rejoining the rest of the water at waist level.

“You’re right,” Natsu laughed loudly, slicking his hair back and away from his face. “That was definitely more than I bargained for. Nice entrance, by the way.”

Gray was utterly mortified, and he scrambled to sit down, desperately trying to come up with a witty comeback, but before he could say a word, Natsu had already splashed him. 

“There you go. No need to make that face. It’s a pool. We were going to get wet, eventually.” Natsu shrugged, his expression gradually changing to distaste as he looked at the water.

“Dude, what did you use for sunblock, SPF lard?”

“I burn easily!” Gray protested, smoothing out the bits of sunblock he could see on his skin.

“Yeah? Then maybe you should actually get it on all of your skin. Turn around.”

“It’s hard to reach back there! Besides, you just want an excuse to get your hands on me,” he argued, but did as he was told anyway, turning his back to Natsu.

“Yeah, that’s the idea. Are you complaining?”

Gray pouted but remained silent.

“That’s what I thought.”

It was hard to miss the smug tone in his voice.

Natsu’s hands spread the globs of lotion evenly across his back, occasionally stopping to knead on one of his muscles and then concentrating on his shoulders. Gray closed his eyes, biting his lip so as not to let on how much he was enjoying it. If this was what he got in exchange for some barbecued ribs, he'd love to know what other types of food Natsu liked.

“There you go.” Natsu said, giving his shoulders one last squeeze. “You can turn around now. It should be safe for you to walk in daylight again.”

Gray turned just in time to see Natsu lean back into his previous position.

“Are you implying I'm some sort of vampire? Cause I’m not the one with the pointy teeth.”

“No, but you are the one who offered to bite me.”

“True.” Gray laughed, and not wanting to lose the mood, he made his move, adjusting from a sitting position to a half straddle. He leaned in, close enough that he could feel the slight puff of Natsu’s breaths on his face as he murmured, “I can still make that happen.”

“You talk too much.” Natsu said just as quietly, peering into his eyes for a split second before closing his eyes and bridging the distance between them.

Gray hadn’t expected Natsu’s body to feel so warm against his, especially considering they were both wet from the pool water, and he instinctively pulled him closer. As arousing as the kiss was, and Natsu sucking on his tongue was definitely doing things to him, he realized he had no urge to push for more.

That should have been his first warning.

But he wasn’t really thinking about anything. His world had narrowed down to sensations. The torrid heat of Natsu’s mouth, the sharp sting of teeth nibbling on his lips, and the tingling pleasure of his hair being tugged, coupled with the sounds they were both making. Needy moans that would have embarrassed him if Natsu hadn’t sounded the same.

Gray liked it all a little too much. Already, the thought of separating filled him with a sense of dread. And perhaps that should have been his second warning.

He was busy running his hands up and down Natsu’s back when he felt him let go of his hair. His hands trailed down to his chest, but no lower, and he pulled away, leaving Gray to chase after him. Confused and more than a little disappointed, Gray opened his eyes. Natsu sat perfectly still, his eyes slightly widening as he sniffed the air. “THE RIBS!!!” Oh crap! He’d forgotten all about the ribs!

“Go open the lid,” Natsu urged, scrambling to get up and out of the pool. “I’ll be there in a few minutes with the sauce.”

Gray watched Natsu enter his house and then hurried over to his yard. The food smelled even better than before and when he opened the lid and poked the ribs with the tongs; he saw they were indeed done, the meat tender and ready to fall off the bone. Rather than stand around waiting awkwardly, he grabbed two beers from his fridge along with plates, napkins and utensils to bring outside.

He opened the sliding door that led to his backyard and found Natsu brushing sauce onto the ribs from an unmarked blue bottle. There was a content smile on his face as he worked away, and Gray felt a flutter in his stomach at the sight.

Shit!

He’d never been one for one-night stands, so why had he thought he’d just be able to go along this time? Because Natsu was hot and seemed willing?

Gray wanted to know more about him, but he wasn’t sure if Natsu felt the same way or if this was just a game he liked to play. What would happen if he played along to its inevitable conclusion? Would that be the end of it? The two of them- probably awkwardly- moving on as just neighbors who happened to have hooked up?

Was it wrong of him to want more?

Natsu looked up then, waving at him and gesturing him over. His smile widened when he noticed the beer bottles Gray was holding.

“Ooh, beer wasn’t part of the deal! I must have kissed you real good!” Natsu teased, accepting the bottle and easing some of the uncertainty Gray had felt about whether things would turn awkward after their make-out session in the pool.

“You’ll notice this is only domestic beer, so I wouldn’t get too full of myself if I were you.” Gray retorted, still playing along.

“Meh, beer is beer, and it goes great with ribs.”

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that.”

The back and forth was nice, but Gray was itching to ask what was really on his mind.

Can I keep you? Or will you run off after the next pretty face that strikes your fancy?

The lid of the barbecue closed again, and Natsu walked over. “They should be ready in about five more minutes.”

He clinked bottles with him and took a swig. Gray followed suit and decided to just go for it. He’d rather know what to expect than hope for something that wasn’t meant to be.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” he blurted out, sounding a bit more eager than he would have liked.

“Sure, shoot.”

Natsu gave no sign he knew what was coming, or at least that’s what his relaxed posture seemed to broadcast.

“Do you do this kind of thing often?”

“Moving? God, no, I hate it with a passion. Might as well bury me here cause I’m never doing it again.”

“No,” Gray frowned. “That’s not what I meant.”

“I know.” Natsu mock sighed, “I’m just trying to think of an answer that won’t go to your head.”

“What?” Gray didn’t know what to make of that answer. Was he trying to find a way to let him down gently?

“No, I don’t do this type of thing often.” Natsu admitted, meeting Gray’s eyes and holding his gaze. “Look, you’re hot and turned out to be fun to mess with, so I figured there was no harm in seeing where that led. But I’m not expecting anything if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Gray wanted to ask if that meant that he’d like to date, but to his chagrin, all that came out of his mouth was, “You think I’m hot?”

“See?” Natsu said, sounding amused. “What’d I tell you? Right to your head!”

He put his beer bottle down on the table and traded it in for the tongs and the plates before hurrying back to the grill to check on their food. Satisfied, he turned it off and heaped a large serving of ribs onto each plate.

Gray followed him to the table, only then noticing the sliced watermelon Natsu must have brought with him from his house. He bit into one to buy himself some time to organize his thoughts.

Next to him, Natsu had already begun to dig in, messily devouring the ribs, stopping only long enough to take a sip from his beer. Gray shrugged and did the same. It wasn’t like his table manners were anything to write home about, either. The moment the meat from the ribs touched his tongue, his taste buds were assaulted with flavor. Sweet, salty, spicy… all blending together in perfect harmony. It was by far the best ribs Gray had ever tasted. He could hardly believe they’d come off his grill. He glanced at Natsu admiringly. Not that he noticed, focused as he was on his plate.

“So, what other things can you make?”

Natsu looked up at his question. There was a glob of sauce at the corner of his mouth, driving Gray all sorts of crazy with the urge to kiss it off him, but he held strong.

For now.

“Sorry to disappoint you, but this is it. I can’t cook worth a damn.”

“That’s too bad.” Gray tried but failed to suppress a smile. “Guess I’ll just have to show you all the best places to eat around here, then. You busy tomorrow night?”

Natsu shook his head, breaking into a smile so blinding it wiped every single thought out of Gray’s head. Save one.

"Nope, I'm all yours," Natsu answered after what looked like a brief moment of contemplation.

Gray sure as hell liked the sound of that.

“There’s just one thing…”

Natsu tilted his head and scrunched up his nose in silent question, which was just perfect.

“You’ve got a little something there,” Gray said, leaning in and licking the sauce off before claiming Natsu’s lips hungrily.

The kiss tasted like sauce and beer, but most of all, it tasted like more. And more was definitely bound to follow soon, tomorrow night, and many more days after.

Gray could feel it.

[mochegato]

Hope on Board

Chapter 17 - Flowers Break Like Promises

Chapter 1     Chapter 16

“What about Oliver?” Marinette suggested, looking up at him from her very cozy looking spot on the couch, surrounded by pillows and under a soft blanket.  Kismet was curled up on her lap purring away happily.

Dick scrunched up his nose considering just how brutal his murder at Bruce’s hands would be if he named his son after Oliver.  Probably wouldn’t be a murder, but Bruce would find other ways to punish him.  He was positive there were pictures he could show Marinette that Dick would never recover from.  “No, not Oliver.”

Marinette shrugged and clicked a few more links on her laptop.  “Arthur?” she offered instead.

Dick blinked a few times. Was she trolling him?  Was this her way of letting him know she knew about Nightwing and about the Justice League?  Any second now she was going to offer Barry or Diana.  He studied her closely.  She was completely relaxed, or at least as much as she could with her growing belly.  She looked up to him with innocent, guileless eyes.  He smiled at her.  “No.  How about Thomas John for the boy and Mary Sabine for the girl?” Dick offered instead, taking a seat next to her and scratching Kismet’s head.  Marinette wrinkled her nose at it.  Dick chuckled.  “Both our parents’ names included.”

“But what if we have more kids?  We’ve used up all the grandparent names in one go.  What do we do for the next one?  They don’t get a significant name?”

Dick grinned and gave her a suggestive look.  “Already thinking about more?”

Marinette rolled her eyes but leaned back to lay against him, resting her head on his shoulder.  “I thought it might be an option.  I always wanted more than two.”

Dick kissed her head. “Yeah, me too.  I thought three was a good number.  Maybe four.”

Marinette hummed in agreement and turned her head to nuzzle it into his jaw.  “Three or four sounds good to me.”

Dick squeezed her and looked back to the baby name website on her laptop.  “Okay, so which names do we use for these two?”

“I don’t think I want to name my daughter Mary.  No offense to your mother but it’s a bit too close to my name?  It feels wrong and confusing.” She added apologetically.

Dick nodded in agreement. She was right, that would get confusing, especially since he liked calling her Mari.  “How about middle names are grandparent names.  First names are names we like for different reasons,” he offered instead.

Marinette smiled up at him. “I like that.  Now we just need to figure out the first names.”  She quirked her lips to the side.  “What if you choose the boy’s first name and the girl’s middle name and I choose the girl’s first name and the boy’s middle name?”

Dick nodded and started thinking of names.  The girl was easy.  Mary would be a good middle name and wouldn’t get confused with Marinette.  Then again there was always his Mother’s middle name… But his son’s name was more difficult.  What would he want to call his son if he didn’t name him after his Dad or Bruce?  What were the important names to him?  He couldn’t use his brothers’ names.  He couldn’t use one of the other heroes’ names, he’d never live it down.  So, what other names were important to him? Zitka?  Cute, but hard pass.  Haley? No, he couldn’t do that. Robin?  He wasn’t going to put that out there so clearly.  But then again…

Marinette knew the boy’s middle name.  Thomas was her father’s name and Bruce’s father’s name.  It was the clear choice.  As much as she liked the idea of having a son named Tommy, it would have to be a middle name.  The girl’s name was more difficult because it was whatever name she liked.  So, what name did she like?  She couldn’t use a friend’s name and they already agreed not to use family names.  So it was a matter of what names she liked.  She knew what her father and Adrien would suggest, some pun.  Adrien would probably suggest Catherine so he could call her Kitty.  Pass. She could go with something significant to her like Coco or Vivienne or Vera or Carolina or Guo.  She loved flowers, she could go with Iris or Heather or Daisy.  Rose was out due to the friend rule.  But up until now, the most significant thing in her life had been being Ladybug, but she couldn’t name her daughter Tikki or Lucky.  But then again…

“I know what I want to do,” they both said at the same time and laughed.

“Well that was fast,” Dick observed with a smile.

“And for you,” Marinette agreed.  “Okay, let’s do the girl first.  I like the name Lucy.”

Dick repeated the name as if practicing how it sounded. “Lucy.  I like that.  Lucy Marie. French version of Mary.”

Marinette nodded. “Lucy Marie Grayson.” She turned to him with a smile.  “I love it.”

Dick nodded in agreement. “I do too.  Now the boy.  I like the name Robert.  Rob for short.”

Marinette repeated it. “Robert.  Rob.  Robert Thomas Grayson.  That’s a good name.”

Dick hugged her excitedly. “They both are.  I love the names.  And people said this would be hard.  They clearly don’t know what a good team we make.”  He gave her a quick kiss that turned into a longer kiss, which turned into an even longer kiss.  He pulled her into his lap to get her closer.  She started to pull off his shirt when his phone rang.  “I hate my phone,” he grumbled.  Marinette giggled and nodded in agreement.  “What?” he asked in an annoyed tone that he knew the person on the other side didn’t deserve.  “That is promising.  Okay, I’ll take a look tomorrow.”

Marinette raised an eyebrow at him as he hung up.  “Tomorrow?”

He nodded.  “Tomorrow.”

“Will you make the appointment at 3?”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.  I’m really looking forward to it,” he assured her.  “I promise I won’t miss this one.  Now where were we?” he asked as he took off his shirt.

<><><><><> 

He was late.  He had tried to get out as quickly as possible, but he couldn’t.  There was always something more to investigate or to find.  Then he had to coordinate their next move, so he had to call into the other Titans to figure out logistics.  There was never a good time to get away.  And he had rushed out so quickly he hadn’t grabbed his phone. So here he was rushing to the hospital to try to maybe catch the tail end of Marinette’s ultrasound appointment and unable to let her know or check if she was still there.

He waited impatiently behind another woman as the secretary got her checked in and her insurance information.  His foot was tapping a beat at a speed that would impress Wally.  Finally, the woman stepped away to fill out her forms and Dick rushed up to the counter.  “Hi, I’m here for Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s appointment.”

The secretary raised an eyebrow.  “You must be the boyfriend,” the tone he used to say ‘boyfriend’ indicated to Dick just how badly he had screwed up.  Dick cringed at the thought.  “Her appointment got over about twenty minutes ago.  She already left.”

“Fuck,” Dick grumbled and dropped his head hard on the counter.

The secretary clicked a few buttons on his computer and wrote down an address on a piece of paper.  He slid it across to Dick.  “Good florist.  Really nice flowers and chocolates.”

Dick sighed and took the paper.  “Thank you. I’m sorry.”

The secretary shook his head. “Nothing to apologize to me for.”

Dick nodded in understanding. He couldn’t keep this up.  He knew he couldn’t.  Something had to give.  Marinette wasn’t going to keep forgiving him.  At some point she was going to reach her limit and snap at him.  And he would deserve it.  He wasn’t being fair to her and he knew that.  He wasn’t making the appointments he said he would make. He was leaving at the drop of a hat with little explanation.  

The only explanation he had offered was a lie.  He could alleviate a lot of this by just telling her the truth, telling her who he was, but he didn’t want to do that.  He didn’t want to drag her into this mess, especially with the Court as active as it was.  He didn’t want her worrying unnecessarily or worse yet, getting involved.  He wanted her and the babies as far away as possible from all of this.  The less they knew the better for them.

Dick stopped by the florist and a jeweler and their favorite take out place, making him even later getting home.  When he finally did, he heard the sound of laughter in the apartment.  He pushed his way in to find Marinette sitting on the couch with Jason.

“Hey, Dickhead.  Only,” he pretended to check his non-existent watch, “what? like three hours late.”  He gave Dick a pointed look.

“Yeah, I know.  What are you doing here?”

“You forgot this.  Roy thought you might want it back,” he said waving Dick’s phone in his hand.  “Couldn’t call you to let you know so he called me.  Thought I’d let Pixie Pop know and keep her company until you decided to show up again, hear about the ultrasound.”

“Thank you, Jason,” Dick growled.  He knew he screwed up.  He really, really didn’t need Jason reminding him or getting in his way of apologizing to Marinette, like he knew he needed to.  “I’m here now.”

“Again, only a little late. Mari and I were thinking about watching a movie.  Want to join us?” Jason offered with a snark in his voice.

“Jason…” Dick hissed.

“Jason,” Marinette gave him an exasperated look.

“Fine, whatever.  I’ll go.  Nice talking to you Pixie Pop.  You need anything, let me know.”  He glared at Dick on his way out the door.

Dick sighed and looked down before looking back up at Marinette with the most contrite expression she had ever seen.  “I am so sorry, Marinette.”

“Dick, this is the fourth time you’ve missed or been late for an appointment,” she answered quietly.

“I know,” he looked back to the floor, unable to match her sad gaze.

“If you can’t make them, that’s fine, Dick.  Most partners don’t.  But you keep telling me you can make it then don’t, with no warning.”

“I know,” he repeated, still looking to the floor.

“I asked them to wait for you because I was sure you were going to be there.  You said you wouldn’t miss this one.  I thought you would just be late again.  You promised.”

“I know I did.  I’m so sorry.  I really tried.  I couldn’t get away.  I didn’t want to let you down and I didn’t want to miss seeing my babies.”  

Marinette watched him as he spoke.  His entire body spoke to his remorse, but then again it always did.  He was always sorry when he missed an appointment or a date, when he was late, but then he always did it again.  She sighed and looked down.  She didn’t know what to make of it or how to respond.  She was starting to feel unimportant to him.

“I got these for you. I know they don’t make up for missing yet another appointment after I promised not to, but I thought they might make you happier.”  He held out the flowers for her.  

She took them with a mirthless smile.  “Thanks.”

“And I thought you might be hungry so I got us dinner.  I would have asked what you were in the mood for but,” he motioned toward his phone on the coffee table.  He set the bags on the counter.

“Thanks,” she repeated.

Dick let out a frustrated breath.  He knew he screwed up and didn’t know how to fix it.  The problem was what he already did and he couldn’t change that.  “Marinette, I’m so sorry.  I know I screwed up.  I know that.  I’m going to do everything I can to not repeat it.  I swear to you.  I don’t want to miss any of this.  I don’t want to disappoint you.  I don’t want you to think you can’t trust me.  I’m going to get a calendar and put it right on the refrigerator so I can’t possibly miss it and put every appointment and date on there.”  He took her hands in his and stared in her eyes, “I bought this on my way home to show you how much you mean to me.  How sorry I am.”  He pulled a box out of his pocket and handed it to her.

Marinette gave him an uncertain look but took the box.  She opened it with a gasp.  She took the necklace out of the box to examine it.  “Dick it’s beautiful.”

“Not as beautiful as you and not enough, I know, but I thought it would look good on you.”

Marinette shook her head and put the necklace back in the box.  “Dick, I don’t need flowers and jewelry.  I need you.  I need to know you’re in this with me, that I matter or lacking that, that at least the babies matter.  I need you to be there when you say you will.”

Dick’s eyes widened at her words.  His heart clenched.  She could not possibly think he wasn’t completely committed to this, to them. “Mari, do you… Mari, you and the twins are the most important things in the world to me.”  He stared at her with an intensity that made her believe him, or at least believe that he believed his words.  “You, this family we are creating, is the most important thing to me. I’ll do anything I have to in order to protect you three.”

Marinette immediately froze and stared at Dick wide eyed.  Her breathing picked up.  She hated those words.  She hated what they excused.  “Dick, what are you protecting us from?  What are you doing?  Is there something I need to know?”

“No,” he answered quickly, a little too quickly to be true.  His voice taking on a soothing tone.  “I just meant you are important to me, the most important thing.” He pulled her into a tight hug.  “Please never doubt that.”

Marinette nodded into his chest.  “Okay. I believe you.”

She didn’t sound entirely sure of her answer, but Dick wasn’t going to question it, he was just going to give her every reason possible to mean it.  “Can you tell me what I missed while I was being an asshole?”

Marinette giggled lightly, still strained but at least it was a move in the right direction, and grabbed two plates.  “Yeah, I can do that.”

Note: For those who don’t follow DC, the teams would frequently call the Robins, including Dick, ‘Rob’ for short.

Chapter 18

Tags:

@dickinette-february @demonicbusiness @ichigorose @iloontjeboontje @ladybug-182 @toodaloo-kangaroo @dast218 @golden-promises @trippingovermyfeet @emimar7 @laurcad123 @lady-bee-fechin

[melanielocke]

Lost in the shadows - Chapter 7

AO3

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Taglist @nott-the-best @foxglove-airmid @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @justanormaldemon @styxdrawings

Lucie’s parents were putting away the groceries when the four of them entered the house. Thomas quickly texted his parents he was with the Herondales and wasn’t sure when he’d be back. Will and Tessa had noticed something was not right immediately, and while Will was making some tea, Tessa sat down on the couch with her daughter.

‘What happened, Lu?’ she asked.

Lucie recounted the story of seeing Jesse Blackthorn, and Thomas couldn’t help but think it was all connected somehow. She had never seen Jesse until now, just after a washing woman had told him his grandfather’s debt was not paid. That was not a coincidence.

‘What if Jesse came back from being dead somehow?’ Thomas asked.

‘None of you saw him, did you?’ Lucie asked.

Thomas, Cordelia and Alastair all said no.

‘He was a ghost,’ Lucie said. ‘So he’s still very much dead. And he didn’t stay around to talk. I thought he was going to, I thought he wanted to, but then he was gone. And I don’t understand any of it. Why here, why now? I thought he’d moved on to wherever dead people are supposed to go, and I don’t think I’ve ever encountered a ghost who’d returned from there.’

‘You might not have been wherever Jesse’s ghost was before,’ Thomas offered, but Lucie determinedly shook her head.

‘He would have come for me,’ Lucie said. ‘I know what we had wasn’t really romance, but he was still a dear friend and he would not have left me. I looked everywhere for him. And he’s never been here in his life, it makes no sense for him to come to this place.’

‘It must be connected to my grandfather’s debts,’ Thomas said, and he recounted the story for Cordelia and Lucie. He suspected Will and Tessa already knew most of it, but Lucie and Cordelia knew nothing and Thomas was afraid telling Lucie Jesse’s death might not have been an accident was a bit much. It was an odd sort of guilt Thomas felt while discussing Jesse. It wasn’t his fault exactly, that Jesse had died, but perhaps if he’d died Jesse would have survived and gotten better instead. Why did he deserve to live and not Jesse? Why had he survived?

‘Thomas, perhaps you should ask your father to contact Tatiana,’ Tessa suggested. ‘Perhaps she knows more.’

Will shook his head though. ‘Tatiana is mad as mouse trapped in a teapot,’ he said. ‘She never took her father’s death well and blamed it on anyone involved in the matter. Me, Jem, even her own brothers. And when Jesse died, I think she decided we were all evil and out to ruin her life. She thinks we turned her brothers against her, killed her father, and let her son die. She might even blame Lucie for Jesse’s death since she never approved of them spending time together. I don’t want her anywhere near you, no matter what information she might have.’

‘My father has been trying to call her and has left several messages. So far nothing,’ Thomas said. ‘I don’t think she wants us to contact her, but if we told her Jesse’s ghost was here, do you think that would change her mind?’

‘Or perhaps Jesse’s ghost appeared because Tatiana made a dark deal of her own,’ Will said. He stared out of the window thoughtfully. ‘In which case, perhaps it is our duty to stop her. None of which is your responsibility.’

Thomas suspected Will had been fighting against the supernatural at an age younger than he was now, but there was a reason he’d stopped. He imagined the price had been too high, and perhaps he regretted going up against monsters at such a young age. Perhaps it had left scars.

‘Sometimes doing nothing is more dangerous though,’ Thomas said.

‘Exactly,’ Lucie said. ‘I need to find out what happened to Jesse, we have no time to waste.’

Like Thomas, Lucie was both reckless and stubborn and he didn’t think any amount of discussion with her parents was going to stop her.

Will sighed. ‘You’re just like me when I was your age. Always running headlong towards danger. I suppose I can’t stop you. But I hope you can be careful. Speaking with ghosts is one thing, but running after the son of Tatiana Blackthorn…’

‘Will, I think we’re going to have to try and remember as much as we can from Benedict Lightwood,’ Tessa said. ‘Any detail could be crucial, anything we missed at the time. I suppose Gideon knows the most.’

‘I can help with that,’ Alastair said. ‘To remember, I mean.’

Alastair explained his ability and Thomas realized he hadn’t told anyone besides him and his family, since everyone except for Cordelia seemed surprised and confused.

‘An interesting and useful ability for someone who investigates the supernatural,’ Will mused. ‘If someone claims to have seen someone, you could objectify it for yourself and figure out what it is before fighting it. I got into some dangerous situations myself because sighted people didn’t know the difference between a werewolf and a wulver.’

Thomas didn’t know what the difference was between a werewolf and a wulver, but was glad he’d never encountered either.

‘That’s not… I’m just trying to save Thomas. I don’t want to fight like my father,’ Alastair said, refusing to look Will in the eye.

Will nodded. ‘That is a wise decision. Life fighting evil isn’t for everyone. It is a hard life and it leaves its scars. But those scars are, unfortunately, the price that some of us must pay so the rest can be safe.’

Thomas noticed Alastair tensed up, but he didn’t say anything. Thomas wanted to ask if he was alright, but Alastair seemed so closed off and he didn’t dare. He remembered Alastair being like this at times at school, and Thomas had learnt that approaching him when he was in such a state led to him lashing out. His attempt, Thomas suspected, to conceal how vulnerable he really was.

‘Alastair, why don’t you go see Gideon?’ Tessa said in an attempt to break the awkward silence. ‘I think he is the most likely to remember anything useful. In all the time he didn’t know the supernatural was real, he still might have picked up information he didn’t understand at the time.’

Alastair didn’t say anything, just nodded and picked up his bag and left.

‘I’ll go too,’ Thomas said and he quickly followed Alastair, who was already outside when he caught up..

Alastair was still tense and Thomas wished there was something he could do to help, but he wasn’t sure what exactly was going on.

‘Are you alright?’ he asked, reaching out his hand and dropping it.

He wasn’t sure Alastair wanted to be touched, even if his first instinct was to offer him comfort through a hug or a hand on his shoulder. He knew Alastair’s anger, and even if Thomas knew Alastair didn’t mean the rude things he said, it still hurt when he lashed out.

‘I’m fine, Lightwood,’ Alastair snapped.

Thomas wasn’t sure what to say. Alastair had always called him by his last name back at school, which Thomas had taken as an attempt to not let him get to close, as if using his first name implied they were friends when Alastair did the best he could to keep everyone at an arm’s length. He thought they were past that, though. They’d spoken so openly this morning in the woods, even if he could tell Alastair had scars he wasn’t ready to reveal. That was alright though, because Alastair was more than just his scars, or his memory ability. Thomas had loved talking about Alastair’s interests, he loved how passionate Alastair could be. Now he struggled to tell what Alastair was feeling, and if he liked Thomas’ presence at all.

‘Was it something uncle Will said?’ Thomas asked.

Technically, Will wasn’t his uncle, but Thomas had always called him that. He viewed Lucie as his closest friend, but also as family. Will’s sister Cecily was his aunt through marriage though, so in that regard the Herondales were almost family.

‘I’m perfectly fine,’ Alastair said between his teeth. ‘Stop pretending I’m fragile.’

Thomas took a step back, hurt. He knew Alastair didn’t mean it, he knew Will’s comment had upset him and this was how Alastair defended himself. Thomas didn’t think Alastair was fragile, far from it, but it was obvious he wasn’t alright, wasn’t it? He didn’t want to make Alastair uncomfortable, but he wished he could be of more help. He wished he knew how to support him.

Thomas couldn’t deny to himself that he still had feelings for Alastair. After this morning, after getting a glimpse of who he really was, Thomas only loved him more. Knowing Alastair was gay, there was a chance Alastair could like him back. He began to suspect it wasn’t that easy though.

‘I know you’re not fragile,’ Thomas said. ‘But it’s alright to admit that things bother you. I know you’ve been through much more than any of us can imagine and honestly if it were me I wouldn’t be able to do half the things you did. I’d be a crumbling mess.’

Alastair stared at him for a moment, Thomas could tell he was thinking. He seemed confused, furrowing his perfectly shaped brows. Even Matthew had agreed there was something special about Alastair’s eyebrows.

‘What do you know about what happened to me?’ Alastair asked, but it wasn’t as hostile as he’d expected. ‘Did they tell you too?’

Thomas assumed with “they” Alastair meant the Herondales. ‘Not much,’ he admitted. ‘I know something is not alright with your father though. And since uncle Will warned us about drinking, I’m guessing maybe he had a drinking problem? And I think it upsets you when people describe him as a hero who fought monsters and kept people safe. Or when people talk about how his life as a hero left scars. Because it dismisses you, it implies that what happened to you is just collateral damage.’

‘My father was a hero,’ Alastair said but there was no admiration in his voice. His hands were shaking and Thomas realized he was still very upset. ‘He did all these things Will talks about, and when I was a small child I used to curl up in his lap and listen as he told stories of his adventures. And I think they’re right that it had a cost, that what he saw was the reason he started drinking. But that’s no excuse for how he treated me, is it? I don’t want to empathize with my father, not after everything he did to me. People can talk all they want of how noble he was, and that being a hero leaves its scars, but what about me? What about my scars? Do I not matter?’

Thomas wanted to touch Alastair, hold his hand, put his arms around him and hold him close, but feared he would only make it worse. Alastair could be difficult to read at times, even to Thomas who prided himself on his ability to read people.

‘Of course you matter. It’s alright to hate him,’ Thomas said. ‘Or feel however you want to about him.’

‘I do. I hate him,’ Alastair said. ‘But for a long time I also loved him. And I kept trying, kept hoping that he would change if only I did better.’

There were tears in his eyes, Alastair wiped them away with shaking hands.

‘It’s not your fault,’ Thomas said. ‘Recovery from addiction is a long and difficult process and that was never your responsibility. And making sure you and Cordelia were safe was his responsibility as a parent.’

‘He never cared,’ Alastair said, and although Alastair seemed a bit calmer, his hands were still shaking and the tears in his eyes were still there. Will’s comments, although unintentional, must have been very upsetting. ‘My mother spent years trying to convince him to go to a clinic. Not so long ago she asked Jem to convince him, but I don’t know. I don’t think he wants to get better.’

‘That must be difficult,’ Thomas said. ‘Does Jem keep you informed on how your father is doing? Do they still see each other?’

‘I think Jem’s still trying with my father, but I’m trying to get away from him,’ Alastair said. ‘I’ve asked him not to keep me informed. I’d rather not know. Come, we’re almost at your father’s cottage. Searching his memory is probably going to take some time.’

Thomas took Alastair’s comment as an attempt to end the conversation about his father and didn’t press. At the cottage, Thomas realized his parents weren’t there, and when Thomas checked his phone he saw his father had texted that they were taking a walk and his mother wanted to try if she could find the washer woman Thomas had seen.

Thomas texted back, explaining how Alastair intended to help with the memories, and then made them both some lunch since neither had eaten since breakfast and Thomas was starving. Ever since his growth spurt, Thomas had an insatiable appetite. He and Lucie used to have eating competitions, but Lucie was starting to get insecure about eating a lot because she’d gained weight. While eating a lot was generally acceptable for teen boys, it was frowned upon for girls. Thomas missed it. It might be weird and stupid, but it was theirs and it was fun and Thomas was quite good at it. They decided to play chess to pass the time when they were finished eating.

Thomas was decent, but rusty. He’d taken chess classes sometime at school but hadn’t played in a while, and tended to miss important details as he played. He stood no chance against Alastair.

‘Cordelia and I played a lot of chess,’ Alastair said. ‘She’s a bit better at it than I am. My mother taught us, chess was originally a Persian game and she thought it was important we knew how to play.’

‘Really? I didn’t know.’

‘The term check derives from the Persian word ‘Shãh’, which means king. Checkmate comes from ‘Shãh mãt’, meaning the king is helpless.’

‘And your family is from Iran, right?’ Thomas asked.

‘My mother is,’ he said. ‘My father is English. I was born here in England, but my mother raised us with Persian stories, the language. She wanted to keep us connected to our heritage.’

‘Are you or your family religious?’ Thomas asked then.

‘I’m not. My father didn’t want to raise us with religion. He was raised a Christian, but I don’t think he really believed anymore. My mother is Muslim, so I am familiar with her religion, but I’m not yet sure what to believe. Growing up with so many stories of the supernatural, it’s easier to believe what I can prove is out there and having faith in something I’ll never be able to prove is something I find difficult.’

‘I agree with the last part,’ Thomas said. ‘But neither of my parents are religious, so I guess it makes sense. I wouldn’t say I’m atheist, it’s more like I think anything is possible.’

‘No, I’m not atheist either,’ Alastair agreed. ‘I don’t discount what my mother believes, but I can’t be sure either and that’s what I find difficult.’

They played two more games of chess before Thomas’ parents came back, both of which Alastair won. Thomas acknowledged he would probably never win at this game, perhaps another time they could play something different.

‘Did you find anything?’ Thomas asked.

‘No, nothing,’ Gideon said. ‘But I got your text, although I’m not quite sure I understand what Alastair can do.’

Alastair explained his ability, and after several questions his father seemed to understand.

‘Thomas, I think you two ate all the bread,’ his mother said as she checked the cupboard. Thomas guessed that was true, his parents still tended to underestimate his appetite, and they might not have counted on Alastair eating here too. ‘Maybe you could go into town and buy some before the shops are all out.’

Thomas turned to Alastair. ‘Do you need me to stay here?’

‘I wouldn’t want you to starve,’ Alastair said. ‘And it might be best not to bring too many people into someone else’s memory. I’m a bit unpracticed.’

Thomas took the car and drove it to the village. He’d gotten a driver’s license a couple of months ago. He had to make a few adjustments to the chair’s position so he could fit into the driver’s seat, and most cars were uncomfortable no matter the adjustments. He parked the car near the grocery store and was relieved to find they weren’t out of bread yet. Just to be sure, Thomas also bought some snacks he knew were vegan. You never knew when you suddenly craved something sweet, or salty. And he didn’t know what Alastair liked, so he bought a wide variety so he’d be able to offer him something he like. At the check out he felt a bit like Harry Potter after buying everything from the trolley, and Thomas didn’t meet the cashier’s eyes as he paid.

While taking his bags back to the car, he caught the eye of a woman with brown hair. He only noticed her for a few seconds, after he’d put his bags in the trunk of the car, and realized she must have been staring at him. She turned around before Thomas could get a proper look at her, trailed by a pretty blonde teen girl. He was just being paranoid, he told himself. Perhaps there was something weird about his clothes he had not noticed, or another logical reason she might have stared. Thomas pushed down the feeling of unease and got in the car, driving back to his parents.

[alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer]

all gone, all gone, all gone

part 4: well, no, i don't feel lighter

my crackfic is back, y'all!! and here to break my 3rd-chapter curse, in which every fic i've ever written ever, i've given up after exactly the 3rd chapter. hopefully the amnesia fic and the 5+1 can follow suit. i wanted to post something for thomastair week/alastair appreciation day, and this doesn't fully fit but i have too many WIPs and this was the closest thing. I've written most of part 5, which has some great thomastair action, so maybe i'll try to post that tonight as well

content warnings: suicide attempt, magical manipulation, implications of domestic violence

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Masterlist | AO3

They will never help you. Not even your sister takes your side, not in many months, years even. Do you think they would take you back now, like this? They preferred you floating dead in the Thames than fighting beside them even before I got my hands on you. They would use you and discard you in seconds. You are nothing to them, you never had been. Do you think your own mother would take you back knowing what you’ve done?

Alastair was clean again, free again. Those were the first words Belial had said to him after giving him a second chance. They repeated in his head now, deep in battle with the people he’d betrayed, the people who would betray him without hesitation. The people he should hold no loyalty towards.

But something else played in his head as well: a memory. He was 11, maybe 12, his sister slightly younger. They were playing hide and seek in the forest beyond Cirenworth. Alastair knew it was because his father was drunk and angry, and his mother had told him to get his sister out of the house. He was worried that she would get hurt attempting to calm him down, but Cordelia wasn’t. She was happy, she was laughing. She had no idea that anything could be wrong. She was elated for her brother to be playing with her. She wanted to run around and pick berries and eat them next to the lake a mile from their house.

He held tightly to the memory, as if it were a street he was sprinting down and if he made a single turn, he would never be able to find it again. It was the last thing he thought of before Belial returned to him, and it was a message he easily understood: this was the reason he was loyal to her, even when she betrayed him.

He had been so focused on his anger, his death wish, all of his own pain and heartbreak that he’d lost sight of what had sustained him all of his years: his sister. He survived on the knowledge that whatever happened to him, whatever abysmal fate was before him, his sister could have better. She deserved better. He could give it to her in whatever way possible.

He’d become distracted in his own pain, and Belial had preyed on that. Now, Alastair understood. It didn’t matter if Belial killed him or if he was sent away to the Basilias to waste away for the rest of his days or if he was stripped of his marks and never allowed to see his family again as long as Cordelia walked away in one piece.

Belial twirled Cortana in the air. “Good thing we have another Carstairs to wield it. Take care of her.” The blade flew into Alastair’s grasp. Cordelia winced and Lucie shrieked, charging towards Belial. They locked each other in a battle of magicks, but she wouldn’t last long, not against a Prince of Hell.

Alastair thought back to that memory, to the sound of her shrieks of laughter, of the flashes of deep, dark red hair between the trees as he chased her. He would rather die a thousand agonizing deaths than hurt her again. His mind told him that it was illogical, but he knew that it was correct. “You always wanted to be a hero, isn’t that what you said?” She looked hurt and confused, but more than anything, terrified. She needed to understand. There was only so much he could do; she needed to believe. “Do you believe you are a merciful hero?”

Realization flickered in her eyes of that memory from many years ago. “I try to be.”

Alastair couldn’t throw a sword and expect it to land safely in Cordelia’s grasp and without any demonic interception, nor did he wish to be within slashing distance of his sister with Belial in his head. Instead, he threw the sword upward.

Cordelia held out her hand and the blade flew into it, just as it had back in Devon. It fit firmly into Cordelia’s grasp just as Lucie collapsed.

“What-” Belial began. Alastair felt himself lifted into the air by an invisible hand around his neck. “-did you do?” Before he could answer, Cordelia started to move forward. The grip around his throat tightened and he couldn’t stop the strangled sound that followed. “Move another inch and I’ll snap his pretty little neck,” he warned. Cordelia froze.

“You should- have killed me-” Alastair choked out. “After Thomas.”

“You tricked me.”

“You wanted me- to give up. Should have known- I’m a talented- actor.” He could feel himself getting lightheaded attempting to speak, sacrificing the little air that he was still able to breathe.

“You think you’re so brilliant-”

“No. You’re- a fool. You- miscalculated.” He heard a shout down the corridor. If Cordelia was still holding Cortana when James arrived, there would be no way for Belial to win. Now was his only chance.

He heard a shriek as he flew through the air, colliding with a brick wall in a sickening crunch. The next thing he knew, he was on the ground. He opened his eyes just in time to watch Belial disintegrate at Cortana’s blade.

The world was blurry, and everything hurt. His body, but also - him. He was free. He was dying, but he was free.

Each breath hurt more and more, and he could taste blood in his mouth. He had at least several broken bones and a concussion, in addition to broken ribs and any internal injuries. He attempted to sit up but the bit of effort made his vision go black. Perhaps more than a concussion.

Suddenly, his sister's face was above him. "Stay with me," she begged. "Please, I need you. Please, hold on. Everything will be okay. We'll get you to the Institute and they will heal you and then we will figure out the rest. Please, I need you. I'm so sorry. I love you. I can't do this without you. Please, hold on, for me."

She should not be apologizing, he thought. I was the one who left her.

He tried. He tried to hold on. He had brief memories of the carriage riding, slipping in and out of consciousness.

Stay with me, she repeated.

I will, he tried to tell her, but no words came.

Then, he saw nothingness. The emptiness with which he was so familiar.

Then, he woke. He was in the infirmary. His whole body ached. He felt his stomach lurch as he remembered all that had happened the past two weeks.

Cordelia was sitting in a daze, not fully asleep, but not fully awake.

"I suppose this whole ordeal means that I am either very hard to kill or very bad at dying," he said weakly, startling her out of her stupor.

She glared at him. "Don't joke about such things! I would smack you were you not injured. I still might yet." She hurried to him and embraced him tightly. His body ached at her pull but he did not comment.

"How long has it been?"

"Three days since the fight."

"Is Lucie okay?"

She nodded. "It took her a bit to recover, but she's alright. There were other injuries, but somehow we all made it out in one piece."

"I'm so sorry, Cordelia," he said quietly.

"Shh, don't start that. It's alright. I just-" Her breath hitched for a moment. "I wish I had been able to see how much pain you were in. I wish I could have helped."

He shook his head. "No, I wouldn't have accepted it." He reached to cup her face in his hand but realized that his wrists were bound to restraints. Of course. He'd worked for Belial. He'd carried out unspeakable deeds for him. He'd kidnapped Thomas, even if he had freed him as well.

"They- they said they had to, that until you woke and they could assess the situation it would be necessary. I-"

"It's okay," he told her. "I understand."

"What are you going to tell them? About how... about what happened with Belial?"

He exhaled. "The truth. I will simply tell them the truth."

* * *

The Consul was apprehensive about allowing Alastair to take the Mortal Sword so soon after waking from his injuries, but he insisted that he would not speak without it. He only wanted to do this once. She reluctantly agreed, bringing the sword to the infirmary, along with the Inquisitor, the head of the Institute, and Sophie Lightwood as witness. He was unsure of how she’d gotten involved, but her presence somehow terrified him and soothed him at the same time. Cordelia was allowed to stay as well, as long as she did not interfere with the questioning.

The Mortal Sword burned through his body, aggravating his many wounds, but he’d felt worse. He answered their questions, explaining how Belial had held him over the Thames, threatening to drop him into the river as he brokered a deal with him. He conveniently left out the part that preceded. He attempted to describe what it was like to be under Belial’s spell, under his curse. He told them that he never wanted to hurt anyone. It was the truth, even under Belial’s influence.

“Thank you, Alastair. We’re almost finished,” Will told him. Alastair was unsure why he was asking the questions, he was sure that was meant to be the task of the Inquisitor, but whatever Will had done to earn the privilege, it seemed like he regretted it now. He was simply too empathetic. “Please allow me to clarify a few details. Belial, using Jesse Blackthorn’s body, pushed you off of Tower Bridge?”

Alastair grimaced, his answer burning in the back of his throat. He had hoped they would overlook this part. “No.”

“What do you mean?”

“I was already over the edge of the bridge.”

“I don’t understand.”

Alastair looked over to Cordelia who seemed ready to jump in on his behalf, though they both knew she was not allowed. “I- I jumped,” he confessed, relief washing over him, though he did not know if it was because of the sword. “I attempted to kill myself, but Belial stopped me.”

The Consul and Will Herondale looked at him in shock. Sophie Lightwood appeared guilty, but he had no idea what for. The Inquisitor was indifferent.

Will attempted to speak, the pain breaking through his eyes, but could not. The Consul stepped in instead. “I see. Is there any other information relevant to this ordeal?”

He was about to respond when Sophie spoke up. “What did Belial tell you about Barbara?” Ah, he realized. That was why she was here. That was why she was guilty.

“Sophie!” the Consul scolded.

“Mrs. Lightwood, that is entirely-” The Inquisitor began, but it was not a question Alastair was opposed to answering.

“Nothing,” he told her. “But I overheard him speaking to Tatiana. He called Barbara’s death his gift to her.”

Sophie’s solemn expression did not hold the surprise of the Consul’s or Will’s. Alastair was merely confirming what she already knew.

The Consul nudged Will forward to take the sword back from Alastair. “I believe we’re finished here. We will discuss the matter and return to you shortly.”

There was an uncomfortable silence as Will put away the Mortal Sword and they left the room, Sophie casting an apologetic glance back at him. The silence stayed between him and Cordelia as they waited. He believed before that if he could skirt around the truth, there was a chance he would walk free, even if he did not deserve it. Now, knowing that they knew the full truth, his stomach twisted at the thought of their decision.

Cordelia looked pale, and he knew she was thinking something similar. “I’m going to go get some water,” she said finally. It wasn’t even a convincing lie.

“Cordelia, what are you doing?”

She didn’t answer as she left the infirmary.

if any of this seems unrealistic, i don't care! i made this mess and i can deus ex machina it if i want to!!!

taglist (ask to be +/-, this is a different taglist than most of my content because of the triggers): @jem-nasium @littlx-songbxrd @fortheloveofthecarstairs @cant-think-of-anything @shadowrunner2000 @writeforjordelia @jurdan-my-beloved

Part 5

[rainingpouringetc]

so hug all your friends and let them know you’re not letting go

ch 2 - remembering the time you saw them just yesterday

ch 1 | read on ao3 | masterlist

---

It took time for Alastair to grow used to Grace, more than it had taken when he’d become friends with Ariadne. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be friends with Grace—it was more complicated than that. She had been a key instrument in much of Cordelia’s pain for quite some time when they all arrived in London. Even if Cordelia and James were now engaged, it did not erase the past.

But that also did not mean he wouldn’t give her a chance. He knew nothing of her motives or childhood, and for him to judge her for such things would make him the highest of hypocrites. So when they left the library and Ariadne suggested dinner, Alastair agreed and directed the carriage toward a restaurant he’d been to with his mother and sister a few times. He’d wanted to take Charles, but Charles always had a strict policy of not being seen together in public. Really, it was a wonder that they had lasted as long as they did.

Dinner was a pleasant affair, full of more laughter and light than Alastair thought any of them were capable of. Ariadne had been wrapped up in Anna for so long, head over heels for a girl who refused to fall in love, and Alastair was still trying to deal with the scorn of the Merry Thieves on top of worrying for his mother and father. And, of course, Grace was dealing with her own problems, what with her mother being arrested. Then there was the matter of her engagement to Charles. Alastair knew there was no chance they were in love, and he wouldn’t wish a loveless marriage on anyone. Not even them.

Ariadne had the carriage drop Alastair off at his house before she and Grace returned to the Bridgestock residence with a promise to talk again soon. Alastair could see them whispering together conspiratorially as they pulled off into the night. It made him smile. Ariadne deserved more friends, more so than anyone he’d ever met. 

He bounded up the steps and into his house, shutting the door quietly behind him. His mother might already be asleep, and if she was, the last thing he wanted was to disturb her.

A light shining under the door to the library caught his attention. Who could be up still? Frowning, he pushed the door open carefully and glanced around.

Cordelia was curled up on the sofa with a volume of poetry, her feet tucked beneath her and her red hair tumbling down to block her face like a curtain. She looked up as he entered, a discontented frown forming on her face. “Hello,” she said in a small voice. “Did you have a good time?”

Though the question would usually be sweet and thoughtful, there was a sharp undercurrent to it that had Alastair furrowing his brow. “Yes,” he said simply, sitting on the opposite end of the sofa. “So sorry we missed the party.”

“No, you’re not.”

“You’re right, I’m not.” He tried for a smile, but it was quite difficult with the look Cordelia was giving him. “I was sure it was going to be dreadfully boring, and I avoid all such things on principle.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you knew Ariadne?”

Alastair stared at her for a moment. Cordelia wasn’t one to beat around the bush, but he hadn’t quite expected her to state it so bluntly.

He found he had no answer. It wasn’t as though he had intentionally kept it from her. It just… hadn’t come up.

When he didn’t respond, Cordelia made a noise of frustration and closed her book with a heavy thud. “Did you know Lucie asked me if the two of you had an understanding? And after you left Matthew stormed off in a huff. And I was so stunned I couldn’t say anything to either of them.” She looked down at her hands, still clutching the book. “I thought we were past this, Alastair. I thought we were telling each other things again. I thought—” She looked up at him, dark eyes beseeching. “I thought we were getting better.”

“That’s not fair, Cordelia, and you know it,” Alastair snapped, his defensive walls slamming into place.

She scoffed and returned her gaze to her hands, the movement sending her hair in a cascade over her shoulder. Her face scrunched and Alastair realized she was trying to keep tears at bay. Stunned, he pushed himself forward, sliding closer to her, and pulled her into his arms. He was no longer sure she had been talking strictly about the two of them. “Oh Layla,” he murmured, and he held her while she wept silently.

They stayed there, clinging to each other, for several long minutes. Cordelia cried herself out after a bit, and now she drew back, wiping at her eyes and apologizing profusely. “Layla, tell me what’s happened,” Alastair said a bit sharply, cutting her off.

She gazed at him sadly, looking immensely tired. “I wouldn’t know where to start.”

“Try the beginning,” he teased, and it made her chuckle, which was enough.

And they talked.

Alastair got the distinct feeling that Cordelia wasn’t telling him everything, but it was more than she’d told him before. She told him that she was worried about her engagement to James—though she didn’t specify why—and that she wished the Merry Thieves would end their silly feud with him, and that she didn’t know how to feel about their father’s return. She asked about Ariadne, and Alastair told her. He told her about their friendship and how it came to be, how it wasn’t at all like his so-called friendships at the Academy because it was real and substantial, and how he wanted Cordelia to come with them sometime because he just knew she and Ariadne would hit it off.

At some point just after midnight, Alastair realized that Cordelia’s head was pillowed on her arm and her eyes were drifting shut for longer and longer periods of time. “Off to bed now, Layla,” he whispered, grasping her hand and pulling her to her feet. She groaned sleepily and leaned her head on his shoulder as he escorted her up the stairs. Once she was safely tucked away under her covers, Alastair descended the stairs and glanced at the clock. He should go to bed as well, he knew, but the gears of his mind wouldn’t stop turning.

A walk it was, then.

Walks were his go-to for nights like this when the world seemed too big or too small, too much or not enough. They cleared his mind like nothing else he’d tried. He checked to ensure his spears were still in their places in his jacket and set off.

It took a while for his mind to catch up with where his feet were leading him. Somehow, he’d let himself wander all the way to Thomas Lightwood’s residence without noticing. He stopped quite suddenly, feeling his face warm with embarrassment. What was he doing, running to Thomas’s house in the middle of the night? Thomas despised him. If you come near me or speak to me at any point after this, I will knock you into the Thames. For good reason, too, Alastair supposed, but that didn’t lessen the sting.

Alastair shook his head at himself, at his foolishness. He’d had a good day. Ariadne had convinced him that Grace Blackthorn was, for whatever reason, worthy of a second chance, and he’d allowed himself to think that perhaps Thomas could believe the same about him. But Thomas didn’t believe that.

It didn’t seem to matter to Thomas that Alastair had tried to apologize and make up for what he’d done. It didn’t seem to matter to Thomas that Alastair was trying to change. 

Frustrated with himself and with the man he held in such esteem for reasons he didn’t wish to consider, Alastair started to turn on his heel with every intent to march home and stew in his thoughts for the rest of the night. Before he could get far, his attention was caught by a door closing hard. He looked up and down the street. There, at the door of the Lightwood residence, was Christopher Lightwood.

Alastair stared at him, a bit puzzled. What on earth was he doing here so late? The hypocrisy of this question was not lost on Alastair, but the fact remained that Christopher Lightwood was jogging down the front steps of a house he didn’t live in at what must have been almost one in the morning.

Alastair started to duck away, trying to hide behind a lamp post or a shrub, but Christopher spotted him and stopped immediately, raising a hand in greeting as a small smile spread across his face. “Alastair? Is that you?” he called, unmindful of the late hour and empty street.

Heaving a sigh, Alastair straightened his jacket and stepped cautiously toward the Merry Thief.

Christopher approached him eagerly, as though he had forgotten they were meant to be on bad terms with one another. “What ho!” he exclaimed as he drew near, a pleasant smile lighting up his peculiar lavender eyes. “I was just on my way back to Grosvenor Square, think I’ve just about ironed out the mistakes in my fire messages, and I want to try it out before I forget. Are you stopping here or just passing through?”

Put on edge immediately by Christopher’s friendly, loquacious nature, Alastair stuttered, “I—er—well, just… passing through, I suppose. What are you doing out so late?”

“Oh, just thought I’d pop by and say hello to Aunt Sophie, see if she had any compost I could use for a project Henry’s been thinking about. I didn’t realize it had gotten so late.” Christopher had started walking as he talked. Thoroughly exasperated, Alastair followed.

“You didn’t notice the sun wasn’t out any longer?” he asked incredulously as they turned a corner, putting the Lightwood residence firmly out of view.

“This is London. The sun is hardly ever out.” Alastair was sure if it was a joke or not. Before he could ask, Christopher continued, “And besides, they don’t tend to care all that much when I come and go, long as I’m home for supper and don’t get into trouble.”

Alastair cut a glance at him. “Who’s they?”

Christopher made a broad gesture, as though to indicate a great many people. “Oh, you know. My aunts and uncles. Thomas and Anna and Eugenia. Them.”

Though he doubted Christopher meant it in a sad way, Alastair could not help the pang of secondhand loneliness that came with the words. Someone ought to care, he thought. Someone ought to notice.

“Would you like to come help me at Grosvenor Square?” Christopher asked suddenly, devoid of self-consciousness. “I’m sure Henry and Matthew are asleep by now, and I could use an extra set of hands. And—well, you’re good with equations, aren’t you?” A contemplative look filled Christopher’s eyes. “I think I remember Thomas saying something about that. Even if you aren’t, I could still use your help. Thomas said you were quite helpful with the antidote.”

Alastair’s heart clenched at the use of Thomas’s name, but he simply swallowed and set his jaw. “I am good at equations. Are you sure it wouldn’t cause any trouble, though?”

“What do you mean?” Christopher looked completely puzzled.

“I mean—aren’t you supposed to hate me along with the rest of your little friends?” Alastair said plainly. He got the feeling Christopher would appreciate getting straight to the point.

“Oh. Oh!” It was as though a fog had lifted, allowing Christopher to finally see the source of Alastair’s apprehension. “Well, I suppose I should, but I have to admit, I’m not quite sure as to why. I mean, sure, you were always a bitter pill while we were at school, and James and Thomas especially were a bit disappointed when you turned out to be so mean, but that was only for a short while and time has passed now. We’ve all grown and changed. You’re no more the same person you were then as any of the rest of us.”

He let out a sharp sigh, looking increasingly fretful with each word, like it was important that Alastair should understand him but he wasn’t sure he was accomplishing this goal. “I’m a scientist, Alastair. I believe in the evidence that is set before me, that I can examine and make conclusions from. And the evidence says that you can still be quite rude at times, but you can also be kind. I know you helped Thomas make the antidote. You haven’t been nearly as cruel as you were at school. You even apologized and everything. It doesn’t make logical sense not to forgive you under the circumstances,” he insisted.

Alastair was so stunned he stopped walking in the middle of the street. Christopher looked back at him in surprise. “Are you coming?” he asked, gesturing toward the road. It would lead them to Grosvenor Square, with Charles and Matthew all under the same roof. Two people Alastair was desperate to avoid.

Something in the way Christopher was looking at him made Alastair square his shoulders and nod. “Yes. I am.”

kit is here!!! i love him so much i loved writing with him. let me know your thoughts!! <3

tagging @ohcoolnice @stxr-thxif @foxglove-airmid @littlx-songbxrd @doitforthecarstairs @axoloteca @clockworknights lmk if you wanna be added or removed from the tag list for this fic <3

[yandere-daydreams]

I love your Lucifer/MC/Diavolo stuff so much... What if they wanted to keep their darling forever, but needed their soul to do it? Cue Lucifer... "persuading" their darling to make a pact with one of them while Diavolo watches and occasionally comforts their darling and tells them to just give in so things can go back to the way they were... Even if it's more logical to suffer a lifetime of torture to spend eternity in the Celestial Realm than to give up their soul, it's easier said than done.

Any scenario with Lucifer and Diavolo feels like a scenario I’d be happy to write. Especially one where they’re lording over their poor, unfortunate Darling, the more powerless the better.

Title: Methods of Persuasion.

TW: Mentions of Torture, Mentions of Death, Bondage and Kidnapping. 

~

In moments like this, you began to wish you’d caught the eye of a less thoughtful demon.

You didn’t want to fight any of the brothers, if you were being honest. They’d been precious to you, they are precious to you, but if you had to, some would certainly be easier to escape than others. Mammon was determined, but careless, he’d forget something and you’d take advantage of that. Satan was smart, but he could be distracted, and you could get away. Beelzebub was emotional, Asmodeus was a pacifist, Leviathan had a temper, and Belphegor could be violent, but he never failed to take the path of least resistance when it came to conflict. Lucifer was… difficult, in comparison. You couldn’t slip out of iron shackles, nor could you break the wood of Diavolo’s headboard with so little slack to work with. You couldn’t attack him, not when he was careful to stay an arm’s length away, and nothing you shouted, yelled, screamed made a difference, his disposition as cool and collected as it always was. Making him as untouchable as he always was.

And with Diavolo so eager to impress, you couldn’t make him do anything besides sit back and admire his companion’s work.

He was already smiling, a grin spread across his taut lips as he unconsciously leaned towards you, perching himself on the side of your bed as he scanned over your restraints, your torn clothes, you. Lucifer wasn’t as blatantly content, his satisfaction buried beneath layers of lukewarm apathy, but he was still hovering over Diavolo’s shoulder, waiting for a reaction, a validation of his hard work. Like a dog, waiting to see if it’d fetched the right object for his owner. “You outdid yourself,” Diavolo confirmed, allowing Lucifer the barest hints of a smirk. “I could’ve helped, y’know. I’m sure (Y/n) didn’t give you too much of a struggle, but whether or not you believe it, I am a demon. I’d like to think I’m a capable one, too.”

“A man of your status shouldn’t have to lower himself.” It was a hollow declaration, considering you and Diavolo are both well-aware that any task Lucifer chose to take up was a task he believed no one else could do correctly. Diavolo accepted it nonetheless, nodding along as Lucifer continued to feed his own ego. “I don’t mind getting my hands dirty, not when we share a vice--”

“If you two are done jerking each other off,” You cut in, letting your chains rattle for emphasis as you shifted, settling onto your back with a noticeable amount of effort to seem comfortable. “I’d like to know where I am, and more importantly, why I’m here. I don’t remember agreeing to any of you schemes, Lord Diavolo, and Lucifer, if I did something to break one of your many oh-so-essential rules, I think I deserve a warning before you chain me to a bed for it.”

Despite the latter half of your declaration, Diavolo never wavered, his delight holding strong as he clasped his hands together, his colorless knuckles the only indication of his anxiety. “You don’t have to be afraid,” He started, taking on a rehearsed, manufactured tact. “Luci’ and I are here to offer you an… arrangement, of sorts. You see, my companion’s grown awfully fond of you.” Lucifer’s hand came to rest on Diavolo’s shoulder, as much in support as it was in warning. Diavolo had the decency to move on quickly. “We’ve grown fond of you. And, because of that--” His expression grew conspiratorial. Softening, but taking on a dangerous edge. “--we’d like to make you a demon.”

You opened your mouth, your disgust coming instantaneously, but Lucifer spoke before you had a chance to, mistaking your apprehension for confusion. “A demon of sorts,” He corrected, coming to stand beside Diavolo. “You won’t be as powerful as a fallen angel or a creature born demonic, but you’ll be immortal, and you’ll be able to stay in the Devildom for as long as you wish. You’ll be strong, and safe-guarded, and you’ll be able to stay with us.” This time, when he glanced towards Diavolo, his eyes were brimming with affection, with expectation. He didn’t doubt you would accept. To him, it wasn’t even a possibility. “All you have to do is give Diavolo your soul. It’s more symbolic than anything - to show your loyalty. And I can promise you, it won’t hurt. Not after the transformation is complete.”

For a moment, you were too stunned to respond. It was a terrible offer to make, an awful thing to propose unprompted. You were kept in the dark about most spells and forms of magic, but souls were important, and offering yours couldn’t be as harmless as they were trying to make it seem. You’d be lucky if you were just bound to Diavolo. In the worst possible scenario, you’d be his creature, you’d be under his control rather than your own. You didn’t want to be immortal, you didn’t want to be a demon, and whatever relationship Diavolo and Lucifer were doing a poor job of hiding, you didn’t want to be a part of it.

“No, no, no,” You spat. You only meant to say it once, but duplicates stumbled out after the first, spilling over your lips before you could stop them. “If it was ‘just symbolic’, I wouldn’t be handcuffed. You wouldn’t have fought to bring me here. You wouldn’t try to make it sound so good. Tell me what you really want.”

Instantly. Lucifer’s calm smile turned to a snarl, his voice dipping into a growl. “You ungrateful--”

“We’ve prepared counter-measures,” Diavolo explained, ever the diplomat. “If you don’t accept our generosity...” His fist dropped to the sheets, the comforter soon balled in his grip. For the first time, you noticed how tight his grip was, how he was itching to hold something, but never seemed content with what he found. Abruptly, you wondered if his intentions were genuinely nervous or more violent in nature. “We aren’t in a place to let you refuse. I’m afraid we might’ve waited too long for that.” He sighed, composing himself. By the time he continued, his shoulders were squared, his gaze more focused than it had been. Resolved, but not defeated. “Handing over your soul would be the wisest option. You will, eventually, but Lucifer is prepared to make things… unnecessarily stressful, if you insist on being stubborn.”

“I’m going to torture you,” Lucifer summarized, his hesitation as scarce as his remorse. “I’m going to hurt you, and Diavolo is going to hurt you, and perhaps Barbatos will, if he wants a turn. You’re going to bleed and scream and suffer until you’re begging to give us anything we want, or you’re going to die and we’ll have you regardless. Submission will be easy, simple, and painless. If you’re looking for kindness, this is the only time you’ll be able to find it.”

Lucifer didn’t hesitate, so you couldn’t, either. You didn’t need to. You’d known what your answer would be before he opened his mouth. “Over my dead body.”

This time, it was Diavolo’s turn to smile, the gesture more earnest than it’d been all night. Slowly, a hand drifted towards you, coming to rest on your thigh. You weren’t sure if it was meant to be a threat, but suddenly, you were aware of just how sharp his nails were, of just how happy he seemed to let them push into your skin until they nearly drew blood.

“That can be arranged, my love.”

[havethetimeofyourstyles]

Chapter Four.

a/n: this was one of my fav chapters to write, so hope you all enjoy! I think you’re all gonna like this one hehe :’) pls reblog to share and leave feedback as it continues to motivate me <3

SERIES MASTERLIST | word count: 10.1k

come talk to me about WTSGD! i’d love to know your thoughts!

October 31, 2017 

A lot had happened in the last five months that felt like an eternity. 

After Luci’s very first performance for Miss Saigon and her unfortunate breakdown that was caused by one of the biggest critics of Broadway, practically insulting her, she performed almost every night after that. 

When one bad review on her performance was ratified by hundreds of tweets and reviews, saying that Luci’s performance was one of the best they’d ever seen, she’d say she did her damn job. The night of her breakdown, she received a text from Nina, who sent her a link to a few reviews on her Broadway debut. Those articles directly addressed how unprofessional and poorly written Adam West’s review was, and that he needed to open his eyes to observe and admire brilliant, wonderful, and beautifully performed talent. On top of the important names next to Adam West, theatre-Twitter seemed to agree with the positive articles that were written about her, tweeting that Luci was the next face of Broadway; and who cared if she started her career in commercials and Off-Broadway because getting the role in Miss Saigon had proved that she worked her way up and that she was good. 

After reading the articles and tweets, her mood had drastically shifted. She was so overwhelmed by the positive comments that defended her from a misogynistic man that she cried again, but it was tears of happiness this time around. She walked out of her apartment, headed to Harry’s door to show him the uplifting reviews, and he was happy to see that she was ecstatic—he was happy for her. 

They had definitely become closer since that day. 

Harry and Luci hung out a lot. Whenever they had the chance and they both weren’t busy, they would knock on each other’s doors or text one another, asking to hang out. For the most part, he opened up to her, showcasing his true personality and becoming more comfortable around Luci—enough to joke around and be himself. He loved the way he didn’t feel like he had to be someone he’s not; everything felt true and real. 

It was refreshing for Harry to have a real friend, a best friend, other than Jeff and Mitch. Although he developed a small crush on said friend, it was nice to just have a chat and walk around the neighborhood with her. He’d been talking himself up to ask her out, not knowing if she’ll say yes or if she even feels that way about him; but from what he could tell, he thinks that she’s sort of infatuated with him. Luci would flirt with him from time to time, and would tell him that he’s adorable and sweet, making Harry’s cheeks redden from the sweet talk. 

Luci’s situation with Daisy and Samuel never got better. Ever since she started to perform more and more—sometimes even more than Daisy—they would be nothing but rude to her. They weren’t used to someone taking their spotlight; it was like someone stepping right in front of them on center stage to steal the show—especially if it was someone they despised and was new to Broadway. The two tried to take it up with Tal, demanding and arguing about how they deserved to perform every single night, but Tal kept her word to Luci and the rest of the industry: that she would stand up for her cast and run the show herself. 

Throughout the months, Luci had been talking with Harry about something very, very important. It was a few weeks ago, during their walk to a bagel place in the morning, when she first brought it up. 

“Remember that lady who came up to me after the show?” She asked as they walked along the sidewalk. Harry nodded, letting out a ‘mhm.’ “So, she’s a talent agent…” Harry raised his brows, thinking she was an agent for Broadway. “In Hollywood.” Samantha Stone was one of Hollywood’s greatest and biggest agents; she mostly worked with actors who were first starting out in the industry before making them successful. Samantha was always on the hunt for new and fresh talent; she walked the streets with an eye like a hawk. 

In early September, Samantha was in New York for a small getaway, as well as to meet one of her side pieces in the city. She figured she could watch a show or two since she was already in the city, and it’d been ages since she'd seen a Broadway show. Deciding on Miss Saigon because she saw the tweets and reviews of Luciana, she decided to give it a shot and see what her hype was about. And it did not disappoint. She was so intrigued and invested in the story, and was absolutely blown away by Luciana’s performance. Naturally, even though she shouldn’t be working, she waited until the cast was coming out of the theatre to approach her. 

Luci was in complete shock because she’d never had anyone walk up to her, telling her to give her a call because she was a talent agent and hoped to work with her soon. When Luci got back home, she looked up Samantha Stone and her breath hitched as she found out who she had worked with and what she did for a living. 

“Holy shit!” Harry completely stopped walking, making Luci stop as well. They stood on the side of the sidewalk as people passed by them. Harry beamed excitedly, but soon his smile softened, noticing Luci’s didn’t match his. “What’s the matter? Why aren’t you excited?” 

“I-I don’t know. I just get nervous thinking about it, like she wants to work with me.” Luci fiddled with her fingers. 

“Isn’t that great?” Harry asked softly; he didn’t see what was wrong with that, but he was being patient with Luci to try and understand what she was feeling and thinking about.

She nodded. “It is. I’m just nervous; I hate disappointing people. What if I call her and I do an audition or whatever, and she realizes that I’m not meant for the job? She’s the biggest agent in Hollywood, Harry. That would mean I’m not meant for any job,” she explained worriedly, anxiety bubbling up in her stomach as if it’d been simmering for hours on the stove.

Harry slightly frowned. He couldn’t imagine how it must feel to doubt one’s own talents, and he absolutely hated that Luci was doing it. 

“Luciana, listen to me.” Well, that definitely caught her attention. “You’re remarkably talented, end of. If you end up being dropped by that agent, then fuck her. She shouldn’t be a talent agent if she can’t see clear talent right in front of her. Literally everyone in the same room knows you are so incredibly gifted. Plus, wouldn’t you like to try it out? It doesn’t hurt to try because you have nothing to lose. You’ll still be on Broadway; and then you’ll try again later if right now is not your time.” 

Smiling, she appreciated his words. She nodded, knowing he was completely right. “Okay, I’ll give it a shot.” Her response seemed to satisfy Harry. “Thank you.” 

“Of course. I’ll always be here for you.” She smiled. “Still gonna help me grade papers?” 

She chuckled as they started walking on the pavement again. “Yup. Believe it or not, it’s actually fun grading papers.” 

He turned to her shockingly. “Oh, really? Then maybe you could be my TA and I’ll have you grade all the papers.” Luci laughed, saying that she didn’t mind; she adored moments when they were playful. Their friendship was refreshing to the both of them. 

A week after her conversation with Harry, where he reassured and encouraged her, she called Samantha, who was delighted to hear from Luci. Samantha asked if she wanted to meet for lunch; Luci was hesitant, but she remembered Harry’s words, and it really didn’t hurt to try, so she agreed and they met in Midtown at a Thai restaurant. 

It was a casual luncheon where Samantha got to know Luci before she decided if she wanted to sign her or not. Luci completely rocked her socks; she was funny, kind, and very humble—traits that not a lot of stars had. So, Samantha immediately thought she was perfect and very likeable. After thirty minutes of eating and chatting, Samantha pulled out her business side, along with a contract, and discussed what this could mean for Luci. She went over her contract very quickly, and Luci knew she couldn’t keep up so she pretended to listen, nodding and letting out a ‘mhm’ to be interactive. 

Samantha had a pen ready for her to sign, but if Luci knew anything, it was to not sign contracts right then and there, and to go over the contract in further details on her own. So, Luci told her that she would look over the stack of papers once more before she got back to her potential agent. 

Luci wished she took a business class to understand such things about contracts and how to handle things herself, but she thinks that she might enroll in some classes some time soon. She attended Boston University and graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in Performing Arts in Theatre Arts. On top of auditioning, solo acts, musical pieces, and countless shows for the four years she was there, she maintained a 3.5 GPA in her general education, and that’s something she’s incredibly proud of herself for. There were a few classes during her freshman year that she failed, making her consider dropping out, but she picked herself back up and promised herself to work harder, and she did. 

When she got back home, she tossed the contract on her coffee table as she sighed, grabbing a glass of water. She had felt stressed out about the situation, but then she remembered that Harry’s sister, Gemma, was a lawyer in London. So, she sent Harry a quick text, telling him about her situation, and asked if Gemma was able to help out. Harry was on his lunch when she texted, but he quickly asked Gemma and she was quick to comply, anything to help her brother’s friend.

The day after, Harry and Luci both sat down on his couch, FaceTiming Gemma on his laptop; it was the very first time his sister and Luci were meeting each other. Harry warned Luci that Gemma was a bit tough with his new friends, but once the two women chatted for a few minutes, Gemma was smittened with her; Harry was shocked at how quick they seemed to become friends, but he cherished it because he liked Luci…a lot. 

Luci had sent over a scanned version of the contract, so they went over it together with Harry sitting next to her for moral support; and from what Gemma said, the contract was clean. The most important thing that Gemma was looking for was that Luci had a say to back out of the contract, and it stated that clearly. Gemma told her that she could sign the contract if she wanted, and that eased Luci’s anxieties, making her thank Gemma almost a million times for her help. 

The next day, Luci met up with Samantha for brunch with the signed contract in her hand. Samantha was delighted to see that it was inked with her signature; she told Luci that this won’t be the only thing she was going to sign because so many people are going to want her autograph. That made Luci smile, giggling a tad bit at the thought of it. 

By the beginning of October, Samantha called Luci and informed her that she was booked for an audition for a supporting character in Ocean’s Eight that was to be released late next year. Luci was surprised at how quickly Samantha was able to get her an audition, but they didn’t call her the best for nothing. 

With only two weeks to prepare, Luci put her time and effort into rehearsing the few pages of the script Samantha had sent her. Luci didn’t have a talent coach whatsoever, so she tried her best to see every aspect of her acting, jotting down notes on the margins so she could further better herself. She was hiding her stress and nerves quite well as she tried not to freak out about how insane this opportunity was to even audition. 

When her audition was only two days away, she called Ren for the traditional pep-talk that inspired and motivated her to do better and to try her best because that was all that she could do. She wished that her family was physically next to her so she could feel the comfort and warmth that they provide because after all, they are home and always will be. 

Luckily, some producers were in New York holding auditions, so she didn’t have to fly to California for a day or two. She’d never felt more intimidated and nervous than the moment she stepped inside the medium-sized room that was painted in a light gray tone. A long foldable table was in the middle of the room with a small camcorder on a tripod next to it. Luci’s had many auditions, but this…this was real shit, the real deal. She was standing in front of Hollywood and big name producers who’d never heard of her name until the moment she walked in and they had a glimpse of her portfolio. 

She introduced herself, masking the nerves that were crawling up and down her body with a warm smile—not too bright, but enough to show her gorgeous grin. They asked her to read off of page twenty-three to twenty-five; taking a breath, she gave all that she could. And in her opinion, it’s the best acting she’d ever done, which is saying a lot because she thinks she did quite well after every show of Miss Saigon. 

The producers’ faces were unreadable as they simply looked at one another, writing a few notes on their yellow notepads. Luci wanted to lurk, to see what they were writing as she hoped they weren’t disappointed or had immediately crossed out her name from their list. 

They thanked her for coming in before dismissing her; she thanked them as well, waving as she walked out the door where she released the biggest sigh. It wasn’t from relief because she was still on edge of the result of her audition, but she felt like she had been holding her breath for the ten to fifteen minutes that she was in that room. Her heart was pounding quite sturdily; and if she was being honest, her mind had completely blanked out once they yelled ‘action,’ but that was usual for her. 

Now that it was ten days after her audition and Halloween, Harry practically begged Luci to get out of her apartment. She knew that she couldn’t stay cooped up in her room as she overthought the audition constantly. She began to get headaches from overthinking every single thing she did in that audition, and it drove her insane. 

So, when Harry suggested that she should go to the Halloween party that Daisy was throwing on the rooftop of her building, she dreaded it at first, but the thought of going out was calling her. She assumed Daisy wouldn’t want Luci to be at her party, but she invited the entire cast and a few more people that she knew personally, so it wasn’t like Daisy was going to speak to her. Since it was a party, everyone could bring a guest or a few friends, so that was when Luci begged Harry to attend with her. 

“Please, come with me.” She had her best pouty lip on, looking at him with doe eyes. Just by that look, he almost gave in, but he wasn’t sure if this type of party was for him. Harry was a mellow and chill guy; he didn’t need rooftop parties and unlimited amounts of booze. He was fine with a small gathering, a few movies and board games—now, that was his type of party. “The party would be so much more fun with you there.” 

Harry playfully scoffed. “Please. Luci, I’m the most boring guy there is.” 

Her brows furrowed in disagreement. “No, you’re not. I happen to think you’re quite fun.” He smiled softly at her in appreciation. “Please. We wouldn’t even have to stay that long.” 

He could tell that she wanted, no, needed him to be there with her. She wasn’t very close with her cast mates—despite all the months she’d been part of the production—besides Nina. But Nina knew everyone so Luci would be left awkwardly standing there, waiting for her friend to come back. 

“How long would we stay?” 

Her eyes brightened with hope. “However long you want.” 

“An hour? Hour and a half, tops?” 

“Sounds perfectly fine to me.” 

“And what would we wear?”

Luci was a bit shocked by his question. “You wanna match?” 

“I mean, that would be fun, right?” She nodded, agreeing. “Since it is quite last minute, I say we dress up as the 70s or 80s era. Pretty easy, right?” 

She liked the sound of that. “Yes, let’s do 70s! I wanna raid your closet because I know you have some gems in there.” 

Harry laughed out loud—her favorite laugh that was music to her ears. He knew he had a great sense of fashion, and he’d always go to the thrift store to pick up something that he’d never worn before. It wasn’t like he was not going to wear it, he just needed to be more comfortable with himself to wear the clothes that he buys. So, for now, he settled with black skinny jeans and patterned-print button downs, which is the most ‘flashy’ he’d dress as…for now. 

“I knew I liked you for a reason because I was hoping you’d say 70s.” Luci felt her cheeks warm up before they went to Harry’s apartment. 

It took an hour and a half to find an outfit that Harry liked; it would’ve been shorter, but with Harry’s 70s playlist that was playing in the background, they took breaks to dance and sing. Harry had a beautiful voice, Luci thought; and she wondered if he was ever in a band before or wrote music because he does have an elaborate music taste, and that added to Luci’s liking for him. 

They proceeded to go to Luci’s apartment so Harry could help her find an outfit. He brought his wireless speaker so the music wouldn’t stop; and she continuously threw the articles of clothing onto her bed—where Harry was lying on his stomach—every time he shook his head no. 

With the same amount of time it took Harry to decide on an outfit, Luci settled on hers. She looked in her full-body mirror, twirling around to see if it looked okay and if she was satisfied with it. Harry remained on her bed, admiring how beautiful she looked as he thought that she was way out of his league. As Luci was dancing and prancing around her apartment, Harry was deep in his thoughts; he didn’t know if asking Luci out was the way to go. Not only would he lose her as a friend when or if she rejects him, but he couldn’t bear the ache he would feel in his heart. 

For his own sake, he needed to protect himself before the heartbreak; and if that meant refraining himself from making a move, then that was completely fine to him. 

“Ready?” Luci called out from the doorway. Harry got off the bed, looking her up and down. 

She was wearing peach colored pants that flare at the bottom, sitting high on her waist; a white silk blouse with orange accents, a long brown coat because it was quite chilly outside, and pink glasses that were transparent. He thought she looked absolutely beautiful, and her outfit was meant for her. The colors matched Harry’s outfit as he wore rust-orange pants that sat wide at the bottom, a flashy patterned long-sleeved blouse with the collar matching his pants. Luci gave him a similar pair of glasses as hers, so they weren’t wearing shaded lenses in the nighttime. 

“Yup. You, uh, look really good.” 

Luci smiled, shrugging one shoulder. “Thank you! You look good, too. This color looks amazing on you.” 

Harry looked down at his outfit, hiding the blush that formed on his cheeks. “Thank you. I like it a lot.” 

They headed out and towards Daisy’s apartment building where the rooftop was large enough for everyone to stand comfortably without feeling like they were shoulder-to-shoulder. There were plenty of lounge chairs, and a few tall bar tables next to tall heaters, considering it was just below fifty degrees. 

Some people were making their way towards Daisy's apartment since it was too cold outside, but Harry and Luci decided to stay, both agreeing that the heaters were keeping them warm as they sipped on their drinks. 

“Luci!” Nina walked over towards her, giving her a hug; Luci made sure not to mess up the placement of her fairy wings. 

“You look amazing!” Luci complimented as Nina put her hands on her cheeks, thanking her friend. Luci could tell that Nina was a bit drunk already as her eyes were drooping and she couldn’t stand straight on her own two feet. 

“Harry! I’m so glad you’re here.” He smiled saying hello to her. Nina and Harry met in July when he had gone to see another show. He was giving Luci another bouquet of flowers—the same bundle that he gave her the last time since she told him that she really liked them, and they looked amazing on her windowsill—and she dragged him to find Nina since she was performing the same show. Nina immediately gave Luci that certain look that said ‘he’s really cute,’ and Luci just nodded, giving her an apparent look as well. 

“Did you bring anyone?” Luci asked, knowing that she was talking to a few guys; her favorites, from what Nina told her, was Laurent and Alec—the two guys that are in her Soul Cycle class, one on Monday and the other on Friday. 

Nina shook her head. “No. I wanted to get fucked up today and didn’t want any of my mans see that shit. Oh! Can I take a picture of you two? You both look so cute!” 

Luci looked at Harry, silently asking and he nodded. She stood beside him, not knowing whether to put her arm around his waist. They’d never taken a picture together before, after all the months of knowing each other. Luci handed Nina her phone before she turned on the flash, taking a picture of the two. Harry hesitantly puts his arm around Luci’s shoulder, making her look at him, smiling. She then wrapped her arm around his waist as they both smiled at each other before looking back at the camera. Nina was squealing behind the phone because she just captured the cute and quiet interaction between them that made for a sweet candid. 

Nina handed Luci’s phone back to her before she told her that she was going to talk to some other people. The two women hugged, and Nina said goodbye to Harry. 

Harry leaned into Luci’s side, bending down slightly. “Send me those pictures, yeah?” 

A chill ran through her body at the sound of his voice so close to her ear. “Sure,” she croaked out, sending the pictures to him. 

After a few moments of light conversation and humming the beat of the music, Harry asked, “So, which one is Daisy?” 

Luci looked at him, quite shocked as to what sparked his interest in her, but she didn’t say anything. She looked around until she spotted her in a leather catwoman suit, hugging her body tightly that Luci thought it was cutting off her circulation. But she had to admit that it looked amazing on her. 

“That one.” She slyly pointed at Daisy who was talking to some of her friends. Luci was surprised to see that Samuel wasn’t here, considering that he was part of the cast. Daisy and Samuel seemed to be in their ‘off again’ stage of their relationship; and no one who was part of the cast or who was close to them could keep up with how many times they’d been through that stage, but they seemed to like each other too much to call it quits for good. 

“Hmm. She seems nice.” 

“Yeah, she does—to everyone except me.” They were both looking at Daisy, and it was like Daisy could sense a few eyes on her, so she looked around and made direct eye contact with Luci. She excused herself to her group of friends before making her way towards her and Harry. “Speak of the devil.” Luci sighed, making Harry chuckle. 

“Luci! I’m so glad you made it.” Daisy faked a smile as she greeted Luci with a hug, which surprised both Luci and Harry. Daisy pulled away, immediately locking eyes on this. “Oh, who’s your friend?” Instantly, Luci knew why Daisy was so nice to her; it was because she spotted Harry and didn’t want him to think she was such a bitch. 

With her brows furrowed, Luci shifted a little closer to Harry who was standing there and not saying anything. “This is Harry.” 

Daisy flashed him her stunning smile that wooed almost everyone. “Hi, I’m Daisy.” He shook her hand, introducing himself. “Your outfit looks really good.” She complimented him. 

“Thanks, Luci helped me pick it out.” He smiled at Luci, who was smirking. For a second, Daisy rolled her eyes before she returned to her big smile. 

“Would you like to get a drink with me? I see you’re almost empty.” Daisy’s eyes pointed at his cup, which only had a small sip lingering at the bottom of his clear plastic cup. 

“Uh-”

“C’mon, just one drink?” Her voice was innocent and sweet, nothing like the cruel and rude Daisy that Luci knew all too well. 

What Luci expected Harry to say was that he was okay and that he didn’t want a drink with her, but he responded quite the opposite. 

“Okay, sure.” Luci’s head averted towards Harry as she looked at him with shock and a face asking what the fuck he was doing. But he shrugged as Daisy clapped, grabbing his wrist and pulling him towards the bar. Luci huffed, watching the two walk away and she was left by herself with a watered down drink and the cold air. 

She figured she’d wait for him to come back to where she was sitting, hoping he wouldn’t take too long. 

But twenty minutes had gone by, and Luci started getting annoyed.  

Thirty minutes, and Luci tells herself that she doesn’t care and mindlessly goes on her phone. 

An hour had gone by when Luci huffed, mentally saying that she does give a shit and goes to find Harry. 

How long could one drink take anyways? Definitely not an hour, Luci thought. She searched the rooftop for the two, only to hope that Harry was looking for her too. After ten minutes of looking around the rooftop, passing her cast mates who were asking her to take a shot with them—she took another one, adding more alcohol into her body—she couldn’t find Harry. She started to think the worst; he could’ve possibly taken Daisy home, or Daisy could have taken him up to her room—either way, she didn’t like any of those options. 

For a minute, she mentally debated if she should check Daisy’s apartment, which would be better since it was warmer indoors than it was out—she was convinced it got colder once Harry left her side—but the negative side of her mind, who was taunting her like the devil on her left shoulder, told her to check if Harry was inside because she wasn’t going to like what she was going to see. 

Either way, she needed to find Harry and she didn’t want to go home without him, so she went inside the building and took the elevator down to Daisy’s floor. There were people walking in and out of her place, so it wasn’t that difficult to find which one was hers. With the same amount of people inside her apartment as there was on the rooftop, Luci made her way through the nice and luxurious apartment. She was just on the edge of tipsy; the drinks with her coworkers had gotten her there. Heading up the stairs, she passed by people who were making out, cuddling on the steps, and talking. 

Once she got to the end of the hallway, she had almost given up on her search for Harry until the door at the end of the hall opened, revealing Harry who was leaving and quietly closing the door. 

Luci stood in the middle with an expressionless face. He hadn’t seen her yet, but the way she wasn’t giving any emotion didn’t mean that she didn’t care; the thoughts in her mind were invading every inch that there was just too much to focus on. 

Harry turned around, stopping in his tracks once he faced her. 

“Hey,” he greeted softly. 

“Hi.” 

“I’m sorry for leaving-”

“Were you…” Luci referred to what was happening inside the room as she couldn’t finish her sentence because the thought and the words simply disgusted her. 

“N-No.”

“Why do you seem unsure?” She was testing him; she heard the hesitancy in his voice, like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to tell the truth. 

A new attitude rose him. “Why do you care?” His voice was a tad bit harsher, but he was a little confused on why she was questioning his actions. 

She inhaled and exhaled deeply, crossing her arms, avoiding his question. “I’m going home. Are you coming with or…?” Harry bit the inside of his cheek, remembering that she hadn’t answered his question, so he’ll ask again later. He nodded, and Luci turned around; he followed. 

The entire ride on the subway and walking towards their apartment building was quiet. They didn’t even sit next to each other like they always did; just across one another, avoiding eye contact.

It was when they were both in front and unlocking their doors was when Harry spoke up. 

“Luci.” She stopped her movements, turning around slowly as did he. This time, she looked at him so deeply in the eyes that it was physically difficult for her to take her eyes off him. “Why were you mad at me before we left?” 

On the ride back home, Harry thought about the events at the party. He’d never seen Luci so annoyed at him before, so it got him thinking a lot about what she felt for him. She was jealous, anyone could see that, and he wanted her to say it out loud why she was jealous because he could name a few reasons. 

“Did you have a good time with Daisy?” 

Harry breathed out a chuckle. “You’re jealous,” he stated immediately. 

“Answer my question-”

“Then answer mine.” 

The tension was so thick that with just one small poke of a needle, it would collapse and break. They’d never had this type of conversation before, where the tension was rising and the room felt warm; they were always playful and laughing with each other that neither of them thought they were capable of having this certain type of energy with one another. 

“I was mad because you left me alone at the party…with Daisy of all people,” she said honestly, leaving a few things out. 

“Is that all?” He raised his brows, crossing his arms. 

Luci shook her head. “That’s not how it works, Styles. I answer yours, you answer mine.” 

A smug grin landed on Harry’s face. “Did I have a good time with Daisy?” He repeated her question. “To be honest with you, no. She was pretty drunk, so I took her to her bedroom—that’s why I was in there, She was…nice.” Luci sensed a ‘but’ trailing. “She even asked me if I’d wanna go out some time.”

“What’d you say?” 

He tsked. “Not how it works, Suki.” Luci rolled her eyes, letting out a soft huff. “Hey, they’re your rules.” He chuckled. “Now, answer this: why were you jealous?” 

There was a surge of confidence that Harry’s never felt before; maybe it was because he knew things Luci didn’t know herself, but watching her unfold those realizations was definitely feeding his ego. 

Luci sighed deeply before she started. “Knowing that Daisy could possibly get anyone she wanted was a bit of an insecurity of mine when we were on our way to the party. That was because I knew she’d want you. I mean…look at you, you’re literally so gorgeous.” Harry blushed. “And I knew that it was inevitable that she would ask you to hang out; I was just surprised when you said yes.” 

He nodded. “I rejected her when she asked if I wanted to go out.” A bit of weight lifted from Luci’s shoulders, but not completely as there was still something heavy she’s been wanting to say. “Why’d you hope I’d say no? Besides the obvious that she’s mean and rude to you.” 

Alright, time to fess up, Luci. 

Luci inhaled deeply, hoping her confession wouldn’t have him running for the hills. “Because why would you go out with her when you could go out with me? Like, on a date…” Her anxiety was up to her chin as she locked her hands behind her back, preventing them from shaking any more than they already were. 

That one simple question had answered all of the other questions swirling in his mind; not the ones that were asked in the rapid fire round of questioning and answering under the thick cloud of tension over them, but the ones he asked himself a few months ago when he was doubting that she’d ever felt something for him because all this time, she had felt something, and she just asked him out. 

His heart flipped. “You wanna go on a date with me?” 

“Yeah, I’ve been wanting to ask, but I didn’t know if you were interested in me or not,” she said shyly. Luci hadn’t asked someone out before—someone she was really interested in. She’d either wait until they asked her and if they didn’t, she’d move on and pretend that her feelings for them never existed. But Harry was different; seeing him with Daisy tonight had made her realize just how much she felt for him. He made her laugh, smile, and he was such a kind person. 

“I’d love to.” He suddenly answered, taking her back a little. 

She looked at him with wide eyes. “R-Really?” 

“Yeah. I’ve been meaning to ask you too, because I’m very much interested in you, but I didn’t know you were interested, well, until tonight.” Luci giggled. 

“I made it pretty obvious that I was jealous, huh?” 

“A tad bit, but it’s sweet; and I wasn’t gonna go on a date with Daisy. She’s no Luciana Ivy Suki.” He teased, making her face heat up at the sound of her full name coming from his lips. She wanted to kiss him right then and then, wanted to taste the sweet taste that he was storing in his mouth; but she refrained from doing so, figuring that they’d wait until after their date—whenever that was—to wait to kiss him because it would very much be worth the wait. 

“Okay, I’ll, uh, plan the date then.” Her lips turned up, feeling a certain ache on her cheeks already from smiling too much. 

“Can I plan it too?” He genuinely asked. 

“I did ask you, Harry.” She raised her brows teasingly. 

“Alright, alright. I’ll plan the next date then.” He blushed. 

Luci tilted her head, smiling sweetly at his words. “The next date, huh? We haven’t even been on the first date; what makes you think there’ll be a second one.” 

“Oh, love, I think there will be.” Harry stepped closer to her, heart pounding in his chest; Luci gulped at the closeness. For a moment, she thought he was going to kiss her by the way he was looking at her intently. And for a moment, she was gonna give in and say ‘fuck waiting,’ and kiss his pink lips until he leaned forward and kissed her soft cheek for a brief moment. “Can’t wait for our date. Let me know what the plans are.” 

“O-Okay.” The touch of his lips on her skin had stunned her, and she wanted them back on her instantly. 

Harry opened his door, giving Luci a small smile before walking in. She started to slowly back into her open apartment, holding onto the door handle tightly. Before they closed their doors, they stared at one another, admiring each other before they said: 

“Sweet dreams, Luciana.” 

“Sweet dreams, Harry.” 

November 8, 2017 

Harry strongly knocked three times on the door right across from his own door with a bag full of takeout, another bag full of snacks, and a small brown bag that had a white box inside. 

The door swung open; Luci smiled at the person behind it. 

“Happy Birthday, love!” Harry greeted.

“Aww, Harry, thank you so much.” She was surprised that he remembered, let alone bring a celebration to her as she eyed the bags in his hands. Luci turned twenty-six today; her day was full of greetings from her cast mates, her family, and FaceTime calls from her brother and parents. She was going to make a trip back home for a day or two since she had to perform on Friday, but she was going to see her parents during Thanksgiving, so FaceTime calls had to suffice till then. 

Stepping to the side, she invited him in. He hugged her tightly, kissing the side of her head as her face heated up. They walked to the kitchen, and Harry set the bags on the countertop, unraveling the tie of the takeout. 

“First, I’m sorry for just showing up unannounced and invading your place.” He added a breathy laugh. 

“No, it’s okay! You’re welcomed any time,” she genuinely said; Harry made a mental note of that. 

“Second, this is not a date. I know you didn’t want today to be our first date, but I couldn’t just sit in my apartment and not do anything on your special day! So, here I am.” 

“Here you are.” Luci couldn’t help the warmth that rushed to her face and neck. 

“Third, I brought Chinese since it’s your favorite food. And I just so happen to know a lovely place that has the best Chinese in Brooklyn, which is my favorite place that I’ll take you to soon, but know that you’re so incredibly special because I never take anyone there.” He took the takeaway boxes out of the bag, opening them up as steam released from the boxes. 

Luci leaned against the countertop. “And what makes me so special?” Teasingly fluttering her eyes. 

Harry stopped what he was doing, looking at her intently. “You’re so sweet, funny, and incredibly kind. But most importantly, you’re grounded and humble; and you’re special to me.” His dimpled poked through his skin as he smiled, meaning every word. 

Heart flipping, stomach in knots, and tears washing over her eyes, Luci walked around the counter to hug him, head resting against his chest as she whispered a ‘thank you’ in his ear. 

For the rest of their night, they ate the authentic Chinese food while Harry told her about the restaurant he got it from, including the workers who owned the place. They also talked about work, teased, flirted, and bantered about whether fruit belonged in salads—they do not. 

Harry gave her the brown paper bag that held her gift, and she opened it with shock. He gifted her a gold circle pin that was customized with her initials engraved in the middle, and the saying ‘Shine bright, Dream even bigger,’ separated at the top and bottom. He’d noticed that she had pins on her travel backpack, and would occasionally wear one on the side of her baseball cap. It was the most thoughtful and attentive gift she’d ever received, and that earned Harry a tight hug and many thank you’s. 

After the night was coming close to eleven-thirty, Harry called it a night as he still had to wake up early tomorrow for work. Their goodbye at her door was a long one that was filled with tight and long hugs as they swayed for a moment, enjoying the warmth of each other. They promised each other that they would find a day that was open in their schedule so they could finally have their date; they even pinky swore on it—Harry kissed her pinky, vowing. 

Luci watched Harry open his door before walking inside his apartment; she blew him a kiss as he caught it, placing his palm on his cheek, making her smile. 

As they closed their doors, Luci couldn’t help but think that she just had the best birthday ever. 

November 17, 2017 

Luci’s leg nervously shook as she waited for her digital clock to hit 2:30 p.m. 

Today was Luci and Harry’s first date, and will hopefully be written down in history. She’d been anticipating this day for a while now, and she couldn’t believe the day was finally here. The few days after she asked him out, they tried settling on a date, but the two weeks after Halloween were booked for them. 

Luci was performing most days out of the week and Harry needed to figure out his teaching plans since it was close to Thanksgiving break and winter break. But when Harry found out that he had a random Friday off, he immediately told her, and to their luck, Luci wasn’t performing that day. So, they were settled on a day, and Luci couldn’t wait to take him out. 

She told him that he was going to need to dress warm since they were going to be outside for most of the day, so he opted for light blue jeans that were a bit baggy, a white t-shirt, a black coat that had faux fur on the thick collar and cuffs; since he, assumingly, was going to be walking around a lot, he wore black old school vans. Harry looked in the mirror, ruffling his hair in his hands to get it to stick the way he wanted it to. His hands slightly shook as he was fixing his hair, and he realized he hadn’t felt this nervous in a while; it had been a while since he’d gone on a date with someone he truly liked. 

When it hit two-thirty, Harry opened his door and locked it before taking a step forward. He took a breath, shaking his nerves off; as he was just about to knock, he heard Luci shuffling around inside her apartment as her keys jingled in her hands and her boots thudded against the wood. He put his hand down, thinking it would be nice for her to just see him right when she opened the door. After a few moments, Luci felt like she had everything she needed, so she swung her door open to only find Harry standing right in front of it, hiding behind a familiar bouquet of flowers—her favorite ones from him. 

“Hello.” He smiled, dimples clearly present. Luci felt like she could cry on the spot from just being so overwhelmed with her nerves and the anticipation leading up to this day, this moment. “These are for you. Hope you never get tired of them.” Harry handed her the bouquet, and she hugged them to her chest. 

“Harry, thank you. Believe me, I would never.” The start of her cheek aches had begun, and it had been about thirty seconds into their date. But cheek aches with Harry were her favorite type of aches, so she didn’t really mind it. 

She went back inside her apartment as Harry followed her in; she put the flowers in a vase before fixing them a little, making sure none of them were drooping down on the edge of the glass vase. Placing them on her windowsill, where she usually puts the flowers Harry gifted her, she smiled gratefully at them before turning her head and smiling at Harry, extra grateful. 

“Shall we go?” He asked, and she nodded. 

Harry followed Luci down to the subway station as she got on the M train. In eleven minutes, there were four stops; the subway was quite packed with no available seats, so the two stood, holding onto the silver bar in between them with their bodies close in proximity as they stood. Harry took the chance to look down at her, simply admiring her beauty as she mindlessly looked around, not noticing his eyes lingering on her. 

When their stop was on Essex Street, they got off, transferring onto the F train towards Coney Island; and Harry suddenly knew exactly where they were going. He didn’t say anything but smile. The entirety of the ride took forty-two minutes with twenty-two stops; they were able to sit down next to each other after the first stop. 

Their bodies were close—thigh to thigh, shoulder to shoulder. Luci took out her wired earphones—figuring they were going to be there for a while, why not listen to some music—handing Harry the left one as she put the right one in. She played Fleetwood Mac, Tame Impala, ABBA, Lorde, and Hozier—a few artists they’d bonded over—as they both swayed in their seats, making up some dance routine with their arms and shoulders. They laughed and ignored the weird looks of bystanders, who were trying to have a peaceful train ride to their destination, but Luci and Harry were too focused on each other to care. 

Once it was their stop, Luci put her headphones and phone in her purse before they got off and walked side by side one another. Harry had the urge to pull her close to his side, to hold her soft hand, but he was too shy to make a move. When they walked up the stairs to exit the station, their fingers brushed together—practically bumping into one another. Luci confidently made the move and linked their fingers together; Harry looked down and back up at her as he blushed, squeezing her hand lightly. 

“Is this okay?” She asked, looking up at him. 

“It’s perfect.” He meant it; the way her small hands fit so perfectly into his, as if he was protecting them. Holding her hand was comforting, and it surprised him at how comfortable he was to be making physical contact with her; but ever since he met Luci, he’s surprised himself quite a few times already. 

They finally reached their first date hotspot, and Harry assumed right as to where she was taking him. 

Three wide entryways painted in navy blue and orange had ‘Luna Park’ painted in orange at the top. Above the entryways were large flower-like and crescent moons that lit up during the nighttime, giving the boardwalk the most illuminating glow. The large Ferris wheel could not be missed as the carts swung and rattled back and forth. On top of the excitement of the amusement park, there were screams from people who were on the roller coasters, and the smell of fair food that they couldn’t wait to devour. 

Luci paid for their entrance admission, and Harry frowned, wanting to pay, but they both agreed that they could go half on the food, and games and rides. 

They felt like little kids who were at Disneyland, minus the famous castle and Main Street music, as they walked around the park to check it out as the wood beneath them creaked with every step while they hadn’t let go of each other’s hands. 

“Everything looks really fun,” Harry exclaimed.

“Right! Do you wanna play some games first or ride on some rides?” 

“How about we get the rides out of the way? You look very excited to go on them, and I have a feeling there’s no way you’re not going on them without me.” Harry assumed, quite accurately. 

Luci put her hand on her heart teasingly. “You know me too well.” Harry chuckled. “Okay, let’s go on some rides!” She dragged him to the admissions booth, and Harry paid for both of their passes for rides. 

They waited in line for the ‘Cyclone,’ which was the biggest rollercoaster besides the Wonder Wheel. Luci sensed Harry’s nerves as he kept looking up at the ride, and he couldn’t keep still. 

She squeezed his hand tightly. “Harry, you don’t have to go on the ride with me.” She was starting to feel concerned for him because his hands were becoming damp, which she didn’t care for, and he kept bouncing his leg everytime the line stopped moving. 

He raised his brows, and brushed away his nerves to the side but not very far. “No, no. It’s okay—I’ll be okay.” 

“Are you sure?” 

Pressing a kiss to the back of her hand, he nodded. “I’m sure. We’re here to have some fun, not be nervous, right?” 

“Yeah. But I’ll admit, I was nervous before we left,” she said, hoping to change the subject to distract him from the fast ride above them. 

“Why’s that?” He curled his lips into his mouth. 

“This is our first date, I want it to go well,” she said honestly. It had been a while since she’d been on a real date—the last one being in college—but to be nervous for a date was a feeling she wasn’t familiar with. 

“Think it’s going quite well, don’t you think?” He gave her a toothless grin, brows raised. Luci nodded, happy that he was always reassuring her and making her feel comfortable. “Plus, I was nervous too—still am, if I’m being honest.” 

“Yeah?” 

He nodded his head as if his nerves were the most obvious thing. “Oh, yeah. I want this to go well too. But by the way we’ve been friends for months before this happened, I think we’ll be okay, Ci.” Her eyes slightly widened at the new nickname that she’d never heard; Harry instantly noticed her shock. “I-Is it okay if I call you that?” To be honest, he’s always wanted to call her some unique nickname that would only be for him. ‘Luci’ seemed to be the name everyone called her, ‘Ana’ was her brother’s name for her, so the last syllable in her name seemed to be free. 

“No one’s ever called me that.” And she thinks that’s extra special. “But yes, please call me that.” She approved, and he smiled. 

It was their turn to get onto the Cyclone, and Harry suddenly didn’t feel so nervous anymore as they were being safely strapped into their rollercoaster cart. The ride was quite high, looking over the blue water and Coney Island Beach; the view was quite gorgeous, even in the middle of a cold November day in New York. 

They screamed as the ride dropped; Luci held up one of her arms as the other held tightly on Harry’s hand as he grasped the metal bar, afraid to bravely put his arm up like his beautiful date. 

When the ride was finished, they had a rush of exhilaration, wanting to go on the other rides. So, they did; they laughed, screamed, and were the most carefree people they’d ever been in their entire lives because they brought it out of each other. 

After they filled their rollercoaster crave, they ate and talked. Individually, they were both worried about this part of the date where they had to talk because they’d been hanging out for so many months and getting to know each other that they thought coming up with conversation topics were going to be difficult. But it was natural for them; they didn’t put any pressure on themselves to speak every single minute of the date. Instead, they relished in the comfortable silence they seemed to form, not minding it one bit. 

The sky had turned into a cotton candy pink from a bright blue quite quickly. Luci wanted to watch the sunset, but was a bit sad that they hadn’t played the majority of the games; but Harry told her it was okay, and they would come back another time when the park reopened again during the Spring. 

Hand in hand, they walked to the beach that was just across the street from Luna Park. The bright lights from the park were becoming distant as they continued to walk further away from it. Since it was mid November, there weren’t that many people out because of the cold temperature—just the few people who were passing by along with others who decided to watch the sunset as well. 

“Tell me about your last relationship?” Luci suddenly asked; Harry looked at her amusingly. 

“Like now? In the middle of our date?” He teased, making her laugh. 

“I mean, if you want to. I was just curious.” 

Harry thought for a moment. “Hmm. My last serious relationship was over a year ago. We broke up right before I started teaching at the middle school.” 

“What happened?” She asked softly, not wanting to pry, but she was also curious. 

“We weren’t good for each other anymore. I guess life happened, and we turned into people we weren’t proud of. We grew apart; she was more in love with her career than she was in love with me. Couldn’t say I was the best boyfriend either,” he explained, not getting into too much detail. But he’d neglected her without even realizing it, causing his ex to occupy herself with work. “So, we broke up. And it felt like it was a sign from the universe that was holding me back from venturing out because I immediately got a job at the school when I had been putting off finding a proper teaching job.” He breathed out a chuckle, remembering the memory.

He’ll admit, his last relationship had hurt him quite a lot. He’d never felt such pain before, and it had made him quiet and reserved. But how it ended made him not seek out to find a relationship. For a while, he didn’t like the idea of love because it had only hurt you. But then he met Luci, and at first, he was hesitant to even be her friend because just at first glance, he was ruined, and he didn’t want to go through that process again; but here they are now. And maybe, he’ll tell her this, but for now, he doesn’t want to scare her off. 

“Do you still talk to her?” 

“Nope. Last I heard of her, she was engaged to this woman she met a few weeks after our breakup, but I have no clue if they’re still together.” He shrugged his shoulders. “What about you?” 

“My last relationship?” Harry nodded. “To be honest, I’ve never been in a serious one…like ever.” 

He raised his brows in shock. “Really?” 

“Yeah. The furthest I’ve gone that was close to a relationship was a friends-with-benefits towards the end of college, which didn’t end well.” Harry sensed her mood change a bit, so he didn’t pry on asking what happened in the past. The bad memories had filled her mind, making her frown, but she pushed those thoughts away, not wanting to think about them at the moment because the timing is unbelievable. “That’s that; I don't have any exciting or tea-spilling relationship stories.” 

For a moment, she didn’t want to jinx her luck, but she imagined what it would be like to be in a relationship with Harry—despite it only being their first date. Her mind took her to a fantasy that was so special and sweet because that was how she pictured what it would be like to be with him. 

They sat in silence as the sound of the waves crashing and the seagulls above them took over their hearing. It was nice and refreshing to sit side by side, taking in the beautiful scenery that the world provided. Sunsets had always made Luci feel a vast amount of gratitude towards the world and the people around her; the opportunities, the things that she got to see—they all wouldn’t have happened if the sun didn't go down, promising a new tomorrow. 

Suddenly, Harry stood up, brushing the sand that had gotten on his jeans. He reached out to Luci, who was still sitting down and looking up at him. 

“C’mon. Let’s walk,” he suggested. She grabbed his hand as he helped her up, and she patted away the soft sand that had stuck to her black jeans. 

They held hands as they walked the shore of Coney Island Beach, walking towards where the sun was departing from the world. Once the sky had turned into a purple and orange blended masterpiece, Harry stopped walking, facing Luci as he took a deep breath. 

“I’m trying…really hard to hold back.” He held her cold hands in his, lightly pushing and pulling her towards him. He’d been thinking about it for the entirety of their date, and he just wanted to pull her in and kiss her whenever.

Luci shook her head softly as she stopped swaying; her eyes flickered towards his mouth, glad she wasn’t the only one thinking the same thing. She dreamed of this—had been wanting to press her lips against his for quite some time 

“Don’t hold back. Please, don’t hold back.” Her tone and eyes were pleading for him to not refrain himself from the most magical feeling. Luci let go of his hands, wrapping them around his waist as if she was giving him permission to kiss her. 

He placed his hands on her shoulders, gently rubbing down to her elbows before he trailed them back up and to the sides of her neck and jaw. Placing a soft kiss to her forehead before placing his on Luci’s, he inhaled deeply, taking in the saltiness of the ocean next to them and the sweetness of her skin. 

Luci fluttered her eyes closed, and Harry took that opportunity to connect his lips with hers. They molded their lips together as if it were one, tasting one another for the first time. The feeling of their passionate kiss felt like the ocean had synchronized together, forming the most beautiful and largest wave for the most dedicated surfer; and when it crashed, it was powerful, breathtaking, and strong—like no other wave could top this one, no one could top this one of a kind kiss. 

Harry smiled into the kiss, making Luci smile and giggle as well. Her stomach fluttered, hugging him tighter to her as his thumbs gently caressed her soft skin. Nothing could top this feeling. 

Pulling back, Harry breathed out a giddy chuckle before placing a few more pecks on her lips as if he was dreaming the first time. Luci opened her eyes as did he; she looked into his and found an immense amount of adoration within him. 

“I like you…a lot.” 

She leaned her forehead against his chest, cheekily smiling and restricting herself from squealing before she looked back up at him. “I like you too, Harry.” 

Harry flashed her his smile, something that he couldn’t wipe off his face, not like he tried. Nowadays, he was smiling a lot more, and he was one hundred percent sure Luci was the cause of it. 

Kissing her forehead, Harry hugged her to his chest as they watched the sun go down. With her face pressed against his chest, she heard the erratic heartbeat that was pounded heavily; and in that moment, she knew exactly how that felt—to feel so much for one person that your heart could fall out—and she only hoped he could feel hers because it was pounding just the same. 

As they held each other tightly, they both knew that this was going to be something special. 

And they were all in for the ride.

an exciting chapter! come talk to me about your thoughts, feelings, favorite moments and scenes! thank you for reading <3 next chapter will be up next saturday!

[arlathen]

You love him.

A voice in her head goads her, prods, has been doing so for a while. And for a while, she’s been swallowing it down. Not denying, but not affirming. Ignoring, the way you ignore someone trying to get a rise out of you.

They’re in bed together. And it has been so, so long since she’s been in bed with anyone. So, so long since she’s let anyone see her this way. And no one has ever touched her this way, with so much reverence and such gentle hands. She’s never had lips where his have now been.

Nate slows as she pulls him closer to her, slows to a shallow, unsteady rhythm as she buries her face in his neck and cups his shoulder blades, as though he is unwilling to stop completely but as equally unwilling to do anything that would lessen the amount of skin touching skin.

Their chests are pressed together, and her heart feels like it could burst through her ribs just to be closer to his, and he’s so warm under her hands, so alive with his muscles shifting and tensing beneath her palms, and so for the first time she answers herself: yes, I do.

It’s chum in dangerous waters, foamy blood and sharp teeth, and the voice replies, giddy, ravenous: If you love him, then you know he deserves better than you can give him.

Nate murmurs her name, deep voice rendered hoarse. Hands migrate from her hips -- one up to her waist, to her ribs, the other down to slip beneath her thigh, to gently urge her legs further apart, as though there were space left between them for him to occupy. It’s almost mindless, how his lips kiss lightly every inch of skin they find, how his hands explore and caress. Like his full attention is on her, like he doesn’t want to so much as sense anything else, like he wants to drown in her. She wishes she could drown in him, too. Drown and stop thinking.

He knows he deserves better, too. Or he will.

Her hands ball into fists, shoulders tense. Nate must notice the sudden shift, as he pulls back an inch or so, kisses her softly.

He will. He’ll realize. He thinks he loves her now -- smitten, juvenile -- but he’ll realize eventually that she has nothing to offer him. It is no longer a dialogue in her head, but a spiraling string of facts. She does not kiss him back.

“Lucy?” He looks at her finally, and his eyes widen when he does. She must be crying. She notices only when his hands fly to her face, thumb smearing the tears across her cheek. “Hey -- hey, what is it? Did I hurt you?”

It’s worse, to see the concern in his face, to have it acknowledged. She would’ve been fine if he’d ignored her, finished, sprawled out beside her and fallen quickly to sleep so she could slip off to the bathroom under the pretense of cleaning herself up and sit in the cold enamel bathtub and press her thumbs into her eyes until she could calm down. She’d done it before, more times than she could count. And she hadn’t even been worth the man who’d been fine with that -- so how could she even begin to be worth the man who cups her jaw in both hands, now? Who looks to be on the verge of tears himself at the mere prospect of having made her cry?

“No,” she says, and her voice is thick in her throat. “I’m sorry.”

Wouldn’t it be nice, for once, to be the one doing the leaving? Instead of the one being left? To preempt the heartbreak, to take it in both hands and bend until it snaps instead of watching helplessly as someone else’s fingers find their way in her chest and grip tight? Just once?

Lucy turns away from him, curls into herself, with fingers knotted in her quilt, half-covering her face. Pathetic. Nate hovers beside her, hand extended but not touching her.

“Do you want to talk?”

She shakes her head.

“That’s alright. Do you want me to go?”

But she couldn’t do that to Nate. That’s the problem with loving someone, is it hurts to do the breaking. And so she shakes her head no again.

“Then -- could I hold you?”

The ease with which other people disregard her is what taught her a simple truth: she would always be measured and found wanting. Never loved enough that it hurt for someone to break her. He will leave. He will grow bored. He will find someone cleverer or kinder or prettier, and he will want them more than he than he wants you, and he will leave. So it would be kinder to never open yourself to that -- never let him get his hands around you and never let the skin grow over the open wound, so it will not hurt when he pulls away. Build the wall now, so you’re already shivering in a dry bathtub with your arm against the cold enamel, and you don’t even hear the door close when he leaves.

More painful than endless dread is foolish hope, fluttering bright whisper that reminds her that Nate is different. He is unlike Bobby in every imaginable way. He does not sigh and mutter pathetic when she cries, but rather asks to hold her.

She nods in response almost without thinking, as natural as agreeing to a glass of water when parched. He wraps his arms around her and kisses her shoulder, and then hushes her softly when it brings a new wave of sobs.