#but I take my moments when I'm feeling up to it and I go for it
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rosyhoneydew · 2 days ago
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A quick love letter to my Bucktommy family in the form of a fix-it <3
Bucktommy | fix-it | Teen | 1141 words | warnings: this is angsty at the start and tiptoes toward addressing biphobia so please care for yourself and don't read if that will exacerbate your hurt.
They're three beers deep when the doorbell rings again.
It's been a fucking night. He hadn't really had much to say to Eddie when he got there, thankfully he hadn't had to, especially considering Eddie was clearly in the midst of his own kind of night. It feels better, not being alone, at least. But the alcohol mixes with his head and twists the moment in his apartment further. How come every time I want to move forward I get pushed back?
He's not even paying attention when Eddie goes up to get the door, just fiddles with the bottle in his hand more, peeling the label into tiny pieces and laying them on Eddie's coffee table for him to pick up later.
"Shit-" Eddie stumbles as he makes his way. And then Buck can feel a little breeze as he goes to tell whoever it is that this isn't a good time.
"Oh thank god-" Buck freezes, determined not to turn around. "I wasn't sure you'd be home but I think I fucked up."
That's Tommy.
"I panicked a little. Evan asked me to move in and I think I freaked out."
"Uhh-" Eddie adds.
"We just got done talking about my ex who I had to end an engagement with and it just- it felt like he was trying to make up for his own freak out about it and-" Buck hears him take a deep breath, "I didn't want to force him into doing something he didn't really want to do, you know? He- he should get to make sure that's what he really wants." He takes another breath. "Are you not wearing pants?"
"Umm-"
Buck's heart rate had steadily ramped up hearing Tommy speak, but it's when he stops that Buck feels tears prickle at his eyes. He whips around then, still nestled into Eddie's couch, betrayal in his voice when he speaks.
"I did!" and shit. He didn't really mean to shout that.
"I'm gonna..." Eddie trails off as he heads into his bedroom.
"Why do you think I didn't make sure that's what I wanted?" he demands. He hadn't thought he'd be so angry, but this felt like something to him, and Tommy's running. Again. "Because that girl hit on me at the restaurant?"
Tommy looks shell-shocked. Like he's still grasping the fact that Buck is here, so Buck just keeps talking.
"Or because I haven't dated a man before? So I must not know what I'm talking about, right?"
"Buck-"
"Don't call me that."
"Evan," Tommy steps a little closer, and Buck leans toward the cushions, petty, but feeling raw still. "That is not why."
Buck levels him with a look.
"Okay, what you said is fair enough," he relents. "I didn't mean to make it seem like you couldn't make your own decisions about this."
"What did you mean?"
Tommy looks away for a moment, a flicker of pain on his face.
"I meant... what I said," he lands on. "You would break my heart, Evan."
"You don't know that." The tears finally crest over his lower lids and make their way to his mouth. "You can't just give up every time you're scared that I'm going to leave you, Tommy. It's not fair, you're not even giving me the chance to stay."
Tommy's lip wobbles a little now too, but he stays and listens.
"I wanted to stay, I wanted you to stay. With me. Permanently. Why would you think I would leave you?"
He cries now, and Buck hasn't ever seen him cry.
"I don't know," he gets out, choked and soft. "I see you, sometimes. With the 118 and everyone's families and I... I don't feel like I fit, Evan. I don't get how I fit into that."
"You fit into it because you're my boyfriend. My partner."
"I am?" he asks, treading closer ever slightly to the couch.
This time Buck leans his way. He sets his bottle down and looks down at his hands.
"Did you mean what you told Eddie? You fucked up? Because I fucked up, once, at the beginning of us, and you gave me that second chance and I'm so glad you did, Tommy, because these last few months have been better than I could've hoped. I don't want to let that go because of this so... yeah you can be, if you want."
Tommy rushes to the couch, he sits as close as he can get and grabs Buck's hands firmly. Warm and sure.
"I want that. I want us again. Please."
"You can have it," Buck whispers, resting his head on Tommy's shoulder. He squeezes Tommy's hands. "Just don't leave again, please."
"I won't, I won't."
Then there's a kiss at the crown of his head, and Tommy's other hand rubs soft circles over his back. He murmurs sweet nothings in Buck's ear all the while.
I'm sorry. I'm glad you were here. I missed you as soon as I walked out the door. I'm staying. I'm staying. I'm staying.
They sit like that for a while until a throat clearing from the hallway has them both lifting their heads to find Eddie, fully-clothed.
"What were you guys doing before I got here, by the way?" Tommy asks, humor back in his voice.
"Well, I was drinking my sorrows away. I don't know what Tom Cruise was doing."
"Ha ha," Eddie says, making his way to the couch, no qualms about forcing them to scooch over to make room. "We can talk about my shit tomorrow. You guys worked it out I guess?"
Buck looks up at Tommy, smiles, and kisses him with a loud peck just to make Eddie huff and roll his eyes.
"Yeah," Tommy says, looking at ease. "Although..." he starts.
Buck turns to him, raising an eyebrow.
"I don't know that moving into your place is going to work," Tommy admits.
Buck sits up a little, mouth just opening to speak when Tommy cuts him off.
"I want to live with you, Evan, but your place is barely big enough for one person, so maybe we can workshop location, yeah?" he smiles a crinkly smile, the kind that always lets Buck know he's feeling fond, feeling secure.
It's Buck's turn to huff now. "It gets good light," he grumbles.
Tommy kisses his temple again, Buck gets the distinct feeling that he will be getting kissed quite a bit in the near future, and he chances a quick look at Eddie to see if they're being annoying.
Instead, he sees Eddie smiling too, he's looking on like he's proud and it makes Buck want to tear up again. Eddie gives him a nod and Buck nods back.
A weight lifts off his shoulders then. In the arms of the man he's growing to love and accepted by his family.
~~~~
I want to say a quick thank you to everyone who read, commented, shared my fics, sent me nice messages about my writing for these two, and to everyone who created content for them while they were canon. I'm thankful for every minute of it :)
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elsa-fogen · 5 hours ago
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Yep. Yeah. That's me. Almost all of it, except, i sleep well (if i manage to fall asleep) Reblogging because maybe some of you didn't know (i also didn't know)
Story time!
Too long don't read: used to sleep on private math lessons because i hate math; it takes hours for me to fall asleep WHEN I SUPPOSED TO, and my sister does it in 3-5 minutes.
I was studying at university and we had MATH there I've always had problems with it. since 5th grade i think (well, i hated math before too but real problems started there) when i changed schools and the new class was behind what I've already studied and i didn't pay attention, until i realized that at some point I was behind. I said "welp, i guess it's to late to try, so fuck it"
So at university we had this very high level math and i just couldn't understand a thing (and we had an awful teacher who was saying evvvvery time something like "yall getting expelled, we're all gonna die") so i decided "if i don't understand, fuck it then, i will not even try" and started skipping math classes.
But i STILL had to pass an exam, we were getting 3 tries and if you fail you're getting expelled. I failed first two what a surprise (i don't know how i managed to pass it after all, i can't remember SHIT, only that i is fucking non-existing number which is square root of -1. Why on earth would you need it i have NO fucking clue.
So i had personal teachers who tried to make me understand at least something to pass the exam. And there was one i remember very well, i even remember that we paid her 10$ per hour (for us that was quite a lot). And i remember her because i was SLEEPING. I just COULDN'T keep my eyes opened. She explains something about deviding by zero and my brain draws the fucking universe collapsing in front of my eyes. She gives me some task, I'm trying to write something and I'm falling asleep and DREAMING about writing, then ahe wakes me up and i see that i didn't write SHIT. It all ended when in the middle of lesson she just kicked me out.
And, what a miracle, I'm leaving her apartments and suddenly, all the sleepiness just wanishes! I'm walking home, thinking about some another AU of mine, roleplaying it with myself in my head, full of energy again.
That's not the only case of this, but it's the strongest i ever felt. But that like happens all the time, EVEN WHEN MY MOM OR MY GRANNY COMES TO ME AND START TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING I'M NOT INTERESTED, IM YAWNING AND FEEL URGE TO FALL ASLEEP. But the moment they leave, It goes away! I was calling it work allergy LMAO
I was diagnosed with adhd in my early childhood (there was also something about epilepsy, but it's ok now so it doesn't matter), not long ago i brought this fact back into my active memory (thanks to Jaiden animations ADHD video for that xD) i kinda used to myself by now and now I'm trying to catch and analyse all moments of adhd kicking in. I know my own tricks and buttons, how to make myself do the thing or just how to force myself into doing something. Because i know if i start, I'll probably lock in and won't get up until it's done (well, if i have at least a tiny bit of interest in that thing, or else i won't), and i hate it when someone interrupts me in the middle of the process. No mom, i can't come right now, i can't finish it later, because i either spend few more hours forcing myself to go back to the task or just forget about it.
But i didn't know that this sleepiness was a legit symptom! I just thought that it's exaderated boredom, that's it, had a joke name for it. That's... Funny to know that this thing is actually also adhd moment.
Also, about sleeping. I have problems falling asleep. I may lie in the bed for hours without even my phone, just rotating my stories in my head, and when i don't have a story to think about, this is just the name of my current hyperfixation with different tones and in different random dialogues that doesn't even make sense. I have no idea how to fall asleep, except when i didn't sleep for like 48 hours (EVEN THEN IT MIGHT BE A PROBLEM AND I START THINKING OF THAT CREEPY PRION SICKNESS AND SCARE MYSELF AGAIN). And my mom told me that it have always been like that with me. She and my dad had the whole ritual to make me fall asleep. Dad would hold me in his arms, his head with me covered with a blanket that i could only see his face (or else I would look everywhere and never fall asleep), and rock me for HOURS while i was SCREAMING and CRYING the whole time like i was tortured. But when I'd finally fall asleep, they could be as loud as usual and didn't have to whisper, because wake me up is a whole different story. And my mom was SHOCKED when all it took to make my sister fall asleep was just pet her back for 3-5 minutes.
I don't think of myself as... Sick or ill. That's how i was all my life, i don't know anything else. That's not a sickness to me, that's just part of my personality. Maybe sometimes some parts of it bite me in the ass and make my life harder, but i don't know other life. That's the only one I've got, and i guess I'm fine with that (tho now that i think about it, i need to pay more attention to how i write the characters, and don't make them all ADHDshers LOL i need to study neurotypical people under a microscope 🔬🔍)
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bro im gonna CRY i didnt know this 🥺
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stark-ironman · 2 days ago
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Dancing in the Rain
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18+ No Minors
A/N: no really many warnings, mentions of smut but that's it mainly fluff. I wanted to write a little something for my fellow Americans who are upset this past week. It's not much but it's something! Love you all.
Hugh knew the moment the rain started pouring, that your mood was fixing to go from bad to worse. You had a bad week at work and have been arguing with your family a little more than usual so Hugh suggested he grill out for dinner and it cheered you up, right up until now when the rain decided to ruin that.
"Perfect ending to a perfect week." You grumbled as you walked past the kitchen window. "It's not that bad, darling. I can still cook something if you want." Hugh suggests, trying to cheer you up. "It's fine. I think there's some soup in the freezer we can heat up." You say as you walk over to the fridge.
Hugh sighs, knowing that you're not being cold on purpose but it still hurts his feelings when you act like this towards him, especially when he's done nothing wrong. "C'mon. I have an idea." He says holding his hand out for you. "Hugh, I just want to eat and go to bed." You tell him.
"Darling, please." His voice stays soft but you can tell by his tone he's getting annoyed. You grab his hand and he opens the sliding door, pulling you outside. "Hugh!" You exclaim as the rain soaks you both immediately.
His hands wrap around your waist and pull you to him as he starts swaying side to side. "Remember our first date when we danced in the rain?" He asks, feeling you start to relax at the memory. "After the restaurant messed up our reservation and the picnic you tried to take me out to later on." You reminisce, smiling softly as he twirls you.
"Everybody said that it was a sign this wasn't meant to be but baby," Hugh dips you, holding onto tightly while he stars in your eyes, "That day only made me want more of you." You push the hair out from his forehead, kissing him deeply.
He stands you up again and you both start dancing more, giggling as he lifts you up and spins the two of you around. His chin sits on your stomach as you look down at him with a big smile.
You wrap your legs around his waist, holding his face in your hands as you admire each little wrinkle you've fallen in love with. "I'm sorry that I've been such a pain lately. I don't deserve the patience you've given me.' You softly say, hoping he can hear over the sound of the rain.
"You have every right to be mad, darling. All that matters to me is that you feel safe enough with me to let your emotions out. I will do anything to make you feel better." He tells you while your hands attempt to comb his hair back. "How about we go back in the house and I make it up to you?" You ask with a small smirk. "I think I would love that. And after you do that, I will help you out with remembering nothing but my name." His voice quickly turns deep, causing a blush to spread across your face as he carries you inside.
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manheeiim · 2 days ago
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Nothing Lasts Forever - Gone Too Early
Warning: Season 4 Finale Spoiler Ahead
ᥫ᭡ link to nothing lasts forever masterlist
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I ran through the crumbling building, my goggles pushed up my face, headscarf covering my hair as I ran around looking for JJ. He had left for a few moments to help the others and we were now separated and I was alone, scared for my life.
I had never thought that my life would come to the point that I was in another country for the nth time, running from people. I was now always running from people ever since I met JJ and the other pogues.
I look around as I call out for my boyfriend when suddenly, someone comes up from behind, grabbing me harshly, one hand grips my shoulder while the other holds a knife up to my neck.
I scream and immediately I'm being shushed so I oblige, scared for my life. I didn't even know who was behind me but I had a few guesses.
I could hear footsteps and JJ came running in he froze for a moment as he saw the position that me and whoever was holding me were in. He then comes over, holding onto the bag that held the crown.
"Let her go!" He firmly told whoever was holding me.
"Stop right there." The man behind me tells JJ and so he does. "You know what I want." He tells JJ and even I knew what he was talking about. The crown, he wanted the crown.
"Just let her go." JJ says and I really hope that he just gives the crown to this man to get me out of this situation but really, I had no real doubt that he would.
"You could've stuck with me JJ. Think what you could've had." The man says and immediately I know that it's his dad. His real dad.
I'm whimpering in fear as this all happens as I look into my boyfriend's eyes, waiting for him to just give the guy the damn crown. He looks me back in my eyes before looking over at his dad.
"You want the crown. Sure, take it. Take it. I don't want it. Just let Lucia go." He firmly says.
His dad reaches out for it and JJ hands it to him, his other hand immediately grabbing onto me as he exchanges the crown for me. He holds me close as he pulls me away, leaning down and hugging me tightly.
I relax into his hold and start to cry a bit in fear as we hold one another close.
"It's okay. It's okay." He softly says and I pull away a little before kissing him. We pull away after a few moments and he looks down at me.
"JJ." I hear his dad say. JJ reluctantly turns around to face his dad. "It's a shame. You and me." His dad says and I sigh.
There's then a movement from his dad, a squelching noise, and JJ is bending down a little, a groan falling from his lips. I freeze, not able to process what had just happened. I back away a little and then I see, the knife in JJ's stomach. I gasp, my whole body now shaking in fear, not knowing what to do.
I watch in fear as his dad shoves the knife deeper into him, "You should have.. given me.. the rope." His dad says before pulling the knife out of him. JJ falls back a bit and I hold onto him as his dad stands there for a moment before running off.
"JJ..." I say, voice shaking. "JJ." I say a bit louder, the panic setting in. He falls to the ground and I kneel down with him. "No, no. No. Please, no. No." I'm stammering, tears sliding down my cheeks.
He's coughing, choking, stammering and I'm freaking out, my hand trying to stop the bleeding even though obviously that wouldn't work.
"I- I don't know what to do." I sob, feeling like I was making this even worse by not knowing what to do.
His hand comes up to my face before moving to my head, caressing my head over the scarf weakly. "Lucia.." He mutters out.
My heart drops even more than it already did, "No, no, don't." I say, knowing what he was going to say.
"Lucia, I love you. I love you so much." JJ says, despite my rejection. I find myself sobbing as I lean my head into his chest. "We're- we're not going to be able to have what we wanted. The- the big kook house with dogs and kids- kids of our own. I'm s-sorry, baby." He stammered out, using a lot of energy even to just say that.
Those words hit my heart so deeply, hurting it in a way I've never felt before. I'd never felt this type of pain before. Never in my life.
"Don't say that." I sob against his chest. "Don't!"
"I love you, Lucia. I love you." I say and after a few moments, I feel his body still and his hand slowly drops from my head. I freeze, quickly pulling away and I could see his body completely still and his eyes shut.
"JJ." I say. "JJ. JJ? JJ. Please, JJ. Please answer me!" I sob, shaking his body but he's limp. "No!" I cry out. "No! No! No!" I sob loudly as hug his body. "No!" I scream in internal pain as I cry against his skin.
I don't even realize it when the others come running over and crowd JJ and me. I don't. I'm completely in my own world as I sob in utter pain and sorrow. He was gone. He was dead. JJ was dead.
The man who, yeah, I planned to live in a nice Kook house with, with dogs and our own kids, was dead. Sure, I knew that would never happen but I was okay living the life we already lived, as long as it meant that I was with him.
What was I going to do without him? What was I going to do? He was all I wanted and now, I could have him no longer. JJ was the only one who really fully understood me. The only person I ever fully opened up to. I couldn't imagine being like that with anyone else and he was gone. Gone.
Sure, he made some stupid choices and sure, he didn't have the best life but that never mattered to me. I knew that all too well. I could never judge him for it. I'd always love him despite that.
Maybe I should've known that this day would come. I probably should've. Maybe in the back of my mind, I did know. If it hadn't been today it likely would've been another day. Especially with the way things were going leading up to this day.
I should've known that nothing lasts forever.
THE END
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mind-intheclouds342 · 2 days ago
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Do it for them - Co-captain reader x Curly
Previous - Part 14 - Next
"Today you look much better."
You mentioned Curly smiling at you and resting your forehead against his.
"You've stopped smelling like a cremated corpse, it must feel so good to have clean bandages and your wounds disinfected."
You closed your eyes with a smile, enjoying being close to him without having to move away because of the overwhelming stench he used to emit.
Curly: "...I...wa...wann..."
You suddenly opened your eyes upon hearing the sound of a voice, leaned back, and fell backward to the ground with the chair and all.
"No! Don't you dare! Don't do that again! That scared me!"
You stood up and quickly adjusted the chair to sit back down in front of him.
You opened his jaw to see his tongue and pressed it with your thumb to be able to see his throat.
"Nu-uh, your throat is still damaged, don't talk, I don't care."
He let out a huff when you said that.
"Did you just huff at me??? In these conditions, are you giving me an attitude??"
For some reason, it seemed like he was enjoying your reaction.
"Oh, you like seeing me angry now?? What are you trying to do?" 
You raised your hands when you asked that question, and he kept staring at your left hand, letting out a murmur upon noticing the rings on it.
"Mm? This? I found it when I tried to see if anything could be useful from the cockpit..."
You looked at your hand, seeing the rings, you had almost completely forgotten that you had his with you.
You took it out slowly and showed it to him up close.
"Now I'm not so angry about the fortune you spent on these rings, if they withstood an explosion they are of very good quality."
You smiled at him, lovingly observing the ring, remembering the day he proposed to you and knowing that from that moment your life would change forever.
"Who would have thought we would end up like this? Mm? I can say it, when I was little I never imagined I would go to space. Although i did dream of a handsome husband"
You could notice a hint of sadness in the sigh he gave, quite aware of his current state and that he would never be the same man as before.
"Do you still have doubts? If I will still be by your side when we return home?" 
His gaze turned to you when you mentioned that, it wasn't a lie, he had been thinking about that possibility.
"Do you think the only thing that made me fall in love with you was your pretty little face? Can't you believe that I can still love you seeing you like this?"
You smiled, resting your forehead against his again, looking directly into his eye.
"I didn't believe it either, when you met me, I was a mess, a drug addict, disheveled, stinky, and with a terrible attitude, I have to admit it... But that didn't stop you from falling in love with me, did it?" 
He rolled his eye to try to avoid your gaze.
You put his ring back on your ring finger next to yours.
"The day he wants to leave you, I'll take off this ring, okay? Until then, I don't want you to worry." 
You kissed his forehead, ready to go get the rations for the day.
Curly: "...I... I- I'm sho-.rry..."
"What did I just tell you a few minutes ago?? Nothing to talk about." 
You crossed your arms and shook your head.
Curly: "...I lo..ve you..."
Hearing those words again after so long, your cheeks began to burn, you turned your face because you didn't want him to see you with tears in your eyes, about to cry from joy.
"Me too! Don't forget it!"
You mentioned loudly, quickly leaving that room, took a deep breath, and leaned against the wall, unable to believe you were reacting the same way as when he first told you.
Daisuke: "Captain, are you okay?"
"Ah-! Daisuke, don't just show up out of nowhere! What do you need?"
Daisuke: "Do you want to swap my meat noodles for your cheese ones?"
He smiled, showing you the package of his food; it seemed that Swansea had gotten ahead and had already distributed the rations.
"Sure, sure... Go change it."
Daisuke: "Thank you! You're the best!"
You sighed, resting your head against the wall.
"Just a little more... I'm already getting sick of that food... I need to cook something real..."
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seitmai · 17 hours ago
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“On my polaroid,” Bob explained. “To have while I’m gone.” You smiled softly.  “Yeah,” you agreed. “That’s okay.” His expression perked up. He gave you a soft kiss.  “Thank you, sweetheart,” Bob drawled, his accent sweet.
Urgh this was just such a soft and trusting conversation 🥰
“What do you want me to do, sir?” You asked. You wanted Bob to take charge of this. Not just because the pictures were for him, but because you were nervous. You were ovulating. You had been casually trying with Bob. The two of you had stopped using condoms, but you had started tracking your cycle. You were ready. You hadn’t told Bob. He wanted kids too, you had stopped using protection on purpose, but you were nervous about it. 
No risk no fun as they say 🤭
“Smile for me, honey,” Bob called. The absurdity of the context pulled a giggle from you and the camera flashed again. He looked down at you thoughtfully, planning out his next masterpiece. He smirked when his idea came. 
Oh he's having the time of his life 😌
“That’s my good girl,” Bob cooed as you sucked on his finger. The camera flashed again. He slowly drew his hand away from your mouth. He slid his hand to rest on your throat. The pressure was firm, but not restricting. The camera flashed again. His hands kept moving down to your breasts, squeezing them in a way that would leave bruises in the morning as the camera flashed once more. 
There is something so hot about knowing there are some lustful bruises in places where no one gets to see them 😮‍💨
“I know, baby,” Bob cooed in understanding. “I promise that I’ll give you everything you want, but you have to be patient.” Something in his tone was different. He knew what you really wanted from him. He knew you wanted him to make you a mother.  
He knows 😮‍💨
“Fuck! Bobby!” You cried out in pleasure. The camera flashed. Your walls pulsated around Bob’s fingers and your legs shook. You arched your back away from the mattress. The camera flashed. You opened your eyes to see Bob’s adoring stare as he flashed the camera once more on your sweaty, fucked out face. 
🥵🥵🥵
“I know, baby,” he cooed. “Me too.” You moaned softly. Bob had gotten himself in position to take another picture. He had his thick cock in his hand, lined up perfectly with your wet slit. He held the camera in his other hand. His eyes flicked up to yours. “Ready?” He asked. You nodded quickly. Bob pushed his cock into you. The camera flashed several times—some photos on your face or your body, and a few at the spot where you were connected. 
I just live checking in even in auch a moment of lust and passion, so hot 🤤
You came without warning, but kept your moans in. You weren’t supposed to come without asking. Bob kept fucking into you and you thought you’d gotten away with it when you came again. You were doing your best to keep your breathing even and not pass out as you recovered. Then Bob switched arms and pulled your other leg around his hip as well. You knew that you were going to squirt this time. 
Oh he knows hat he is doing 🥵
“You’re so pretty when you come, baby girl,” Bob drawled. His accent was thicker when he used the low tone that he would pull during sex. He knew how much it drove you crazy. “How many times was that? Be honest, I know you came at least once without telling me.” 
Not the thick accent 😮‍💨
“All you had to do was ask, baby,” Bob said with a smile. He began fucking you again, faster this time. If you wanted his cum he was going to give it to you. You clawed at his back and he left hickies over your chest and neck. Bob reached down between your bodies to rub circles over your clit. You moaned loudly. 
I'm melting 🫠
“I’m not done, sweetheart. If we want you to get pregnant I should probably give you more than one load.” You whimpered at the thought alone. Bob could already feel himself getting hard again. He rubbed your clit slowly, making you clench and flex around him. It was just what he needed to make him rock hard again. You moaned at the feeling of him hardening inside you. 
Already a dad that goes the extra mile 🤭
“Want to see?” Bob asked. You nodded as you scooted over to his side. The two of you looked through the photos, Bob complimenting something about you in each one. When you got to the photo you had taken of him you grinned widely. 
🥰🥰🥰
“Could you write me notes on them? Like you do with my lunches?” Bob asked shyly. You grinned at him, leaning to kiss him gleefully. You pulled away with a smile still on your face. He always told you how much he loved the notes you put in his lunch everyday. 
Urgh that is just the cutest 🥹🥰 and the perfect balance after such filth 🤭
flashes
pairing: Bob Floyd x reader
warnings: SMUT 18+, nude photos, fingering, m receiving oral, breeding, p in v, dacryphilia, squirting, minor degradation, minor praise, creampie,
summary: you buy a special set of lingerie when you know you're ovulating and Bob asks if he can take pictures of you while you fuck.
word count: 3.2k
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“Can I take pictures of you?” 
Bob’s question surprised you. You had sent him nudes before, and it wasn’t like he had never seen photos of you, but he had never taken any himself. You did look good. His jaw had literally dropped when he saw you. You bought a special lingerie set to wear that night. It wasn’t too fancy, but it was Bob’s favorite shade of blue and it was made of a thin mesh material that left little to the imagination.
“You want to take pictures of me?” You questioned. 
“On my polaroid,” Bob explained. “To have while I’m gone.” You smiled softly. 
“Yeah,” you agreed. “That’s okay.” His expression perked up. He gave you a soft kiss. 
“Thank you, sweetheart,” Bob drawled, his accent sweet. He scrambled from his place on the edge of the bed. You had instructed him to wait there while you made your grand entrance from the bathroom after changing into your lingerie set. He fished his polaroid camera out of its place in the closet and loaded it up with a new set of film.
“What do you want me to do, sir?” You asked. You wanted Bob to take charge of this. Not just because the pictures were for him, but because you were nervous. You were ovulating. You had been casually trying with Bob. The two of you had stopped using condoms, but you had started tracking your cycle. You were ready. You hadn’t told Bob. He wanted kids too, you had stopped using protection on purpose, but you were nervous about it. 
“Could you get on your knees for me?” Bob asked. You smirked as you fell to your knees in front of him. You reached for his belt, carefully unbuckling it and shoving his pants down his legs. He was already rock hard, the idea of photographing you had been enough to wind him up. You spit on your hand and then wrapped your fingers around his cock. He moaned softly. You leaned down and gave his tip a few kitten licks, cleaning up the precum that was leaking out of him. 
“Look up at me,” Bob called. “Stick your tongue out.” You turned your eyes up towards Bob to find he was pointing the camera down at you. He took his cock in his free hand and pressed it down against your tongue before the camera flashed. Bob dropped the photo on the bedside table, where a stack of them would soon sit. While he was distracted you let his cock push down your throat. He gasped in surprise, knees nearly giving out beneath him. 
“Jesus, honey,” Bob groaned. You hummed in satisfaction around him, pleased that you had caught him off guard. He was good at teasing you, and you always had to find your own ways to get back at him. 
Bob turned his focus back down to you as you deepthroated his thick cock. He pulled your hair back into a makeshift ponytail so he could see you as your lips moved up and down his shaft. He groaned as he gently guided you up and down, keeping the control mostly in your hands. 
“Look up,” Bob called. You flicked your eyes up to see the lens of the camera facing you. You gave your best innocent doe eyes as the camera flashed again. He pulled you off his cock, tossing the picture with the other. 
“What next, Robby?” You asked as you licked your lips. He lifted you to your feet and pulled you in for a kiss. 
“I want to get some of you in this pretty little thing you bought for me, sweetheart,” Bob told you cheekily. “Lay on the bed.” You quickly followed his instruction, climbing onto the bed and laying out on your back. You spread your hair around your head and adjusted the lingerie set. Bob was crouched on his knees, looming above you as he pointed the camera down at your body. 
“Smile for me, honey,” Bob called. The absurdity of the context pulled a giggle from you and the camera flashed again. He looked down at you thoughtfully, planning out his next masterpiece. He smirked when his idea came. 
“Spread your legs for me,” Bob requested. “Squeeze those pretty tits I love so much.” You moaned softly at the idea. He was really indulging himself. You followed his instructions and the camera flashed again. 
Bob kneeled over your hips so he could reach you better. He pushed his thumb down against your tongue. You closed your lips around it, letting your tongue slide against it. 
“That’s my good girl,” Bob cooed as you sucked on his finger. The camera flashed again. He slowly drew his hand away from your mouth. He slid his hand to rest on your throat. The pressure was firm, but not restricting. The camera flashed again. His hands kept moving down to your breasts, squeezing them in a way that would leave bruises in the morning as the camera flashed once more. 
“I want your bra off,” Bob told you. You leaned up from the mattress and pulled the fabric off, leaving you nearly bare in front of him. He grabbed your tits, thumb rubbing over your nipples  briefly. He sunk his fingers around your round breast and flashed the camera again. 
“Can I have your cock now, sir?” You begged. Bob smirked. 
“No,” Bob said. “I want some pictures with my fingers inside your pretty little pussy first.” You sighed in disapproval. 
“Hurry up then,” you whined. He chuckled. 
“Be patient,” Bob told you. “I want to take my time with you.” As much as you were desperate for Bob’s cock you couldn’t help the small whimper that his words pulled from you. “Can you lift your legs up for me?” He requested. You smiled softly at him as you lifted your legs into the air so he could remove your panties. He tossed them off the side of the bed. 
Bob looked down at your bare cunt, glistening with your arousal for him. He put the camera down and used both hands to stroke up and down your thighs. His touch was featherlight, drawing goosebumps to your skin. 
“Robby…” You whispered needily. 
“I know, baby,” Bob cooed in understanding. “I promise that I’ll give you everything you want, but you have to be patient.” Something in his tone was different. He knew what you really wanted from him. He knew you wanted him to make you a mother.  
“Please just touch my pussy, Robby,” you begged. “However you want. I don’t care. I just need to feel you there.” Bob smiled. He moved a single finger to your clit, gently rubbing circles around it to appease you. The moment Bob’s finger made contact with your clit your back arched in the air and your mouth fell open in a silent moan. 
“Open your eyes,” Bob ordered. When you did the camera flashed on your face. 
“Are you ready for a finger?” He asked. 
“Can I have two?” You pleaded. Bob considered your request. You were being good for him and you were letting him live out this fantasy. 
“Okay, honey,” Bob agreed. “Two it is.” He sucked his ring and middle fingers between his lips, coating them in his spit. “Ready?” He asked as he aimed the camera towards your dripping twat. You nodded furiously. 
“Please,” you begged. “I need you.” Bob smirked. You needed him. Wasn’t that sweet?
“I’ve got you, baby.” No sooner did you feel Bob’s fingertips gently sliding through your folds. You inhaled sharply, waiting for him to give you what you wanted. He was filled with a wave of pride at the small sound. It made him desperate to give you what you wanted. He pushed his fingers into you, his movement quick enough to relieve your desire without being harsh. The camera flashed.
“Thank you, Robby,” You mewled.
“You’re welcome, honey,” Bob cooed back. He kept a steady rhythm inside you as he snapped another picture of your cunt with his fingers buried in it. “You’re so sexy, sweetheart,” Bob groaned as he felt you clench down on his fingers. 
“I want your cock, Robby,” you whined. 
“Come on my fingers first,” Bob pleaded with you. He put the camera down and reached down with his other hand to rub tight circles around your clit with his thumb. You moaned in surprise and kicked your legs against the mattress. 
“That’s it, sweetheart,” Bob cooed. “Come for me.” He hooked his fingers against your walls, pressing into your g spot as he sped up his movements on your clit. 
“Fuck! Bobby!” You cried out in pleasure. The camera flashed. Your walls pulsated around Bob’s fingers and your legs shook. You arched your back away from the mattress. The camera flashed. You opened your eyes to see Bob’s adoring stare as he flashed the camera once more on your sweaty, fucked out face. 
“You’re so beautiful, sweetheart,” Bob murmured. Tears sprung to your eyes despite his sweet praise. 
“Your cock, Robby,” you whined. “Need your cock, please.” You sniffled as you fell into a state of total desperation for only one thing. Bob’s eyes softened upon seeing your tears. He quickly reached up to wipe them away. 
“I’m sorry, baby,” Bob whispered softly. He crawled up your body, bringing the camera with him. “Didn’t realize just how bad you needed me.” He lined the swollen head of his cock up with your dripping hole. 
“Always need you this bad, Robby,” you whimpered. Bob kissed your nose softly. 
“I know, baby,” he cooed. “Me too.” You moaned softly. Bob had gotten himself in position to take another picture. He had his thick cock in his hand, lined up perfectly with your wet slit. He held the camera in his other hand. His eyes flicked up to yours. “Ready?” He asked. You nodded quickly. Bob pushed his cock into you. The camera flashed several times—some photos on your face or your body, and a few at the spot where you were connected. 
“Ohh, Robert…” You moaned slowly as you felt him fill the emptiness that you’d needed him to fill. Bob cursed quietly. You looked up at him. He was beautiful, his hair stuck to his forehead with sweat and his body tight around you. 
“Can I take a picture of you?” You asked. Bob smirked. 
“Yeah, honey,” he agreed. “You can take one.” He handed you the camera. You pointed it up at him and reached up, dragging your nails down his chest as the camera flashed. You handed him the camera and the undeveloped photo. 
“Thank you, Bobby.” Bob put the camera  and photo to the side and turned his focus fully on you. He leaned down on his forearm so he could kiss your neck as his hips fucked slowly into you. He grabbed your leg with his other hand, pulling it up around his hip so he could get just a bit deeper. 
You came without warning, but kept your moans in. You weren’t supposed to come without asking. Bob kept fucking into you and you thought you’d gotten away with it when you came again. You were doing your best to keep your breathing even and not pass out as you recovered. Then Bob switched arms and pulled your other leg around his hip as well. You knew that you were going to squirt this time. 
“Can I come?” You cried out suddenly, unsure whether you’d be able to hold it anyway. 
“Yes, baby,” Bob agreed. You let the electric pleasure run over you, whimpering and whining as you did. Bob wore a proud grin as he watched your face contorting in pleasure and felt you clench down on his hard cock. Clear fluid sprayed out over his cock. Bob reached down and rubbed back and forth on your clit, splashing your cum all over the sheets. You were panting as Bob stilled his hips, still buried inside you. 
“You’re so pretty when you come, baby girl,” Bob drawled. His accent was thicker when he used the low tone that he would pull during sex. He knew how much it drove you crazy. “How many times was that? Be honest, I know you came at least once without telling me.” 
“Including when you fingered me?” You asked shyly. 
“Yes, sweetheart,” Bob replied. 
“Four,” you told him quietly, awaiting your punishment for the two unpermitted orgasms.
“Why are you so horny today, huh?” Bob asked. You looked away. You knew exactly why. It was why you’d bought the lingerie. Bob wanting to take pictures had been a surprising bonus. “Answer me,” Bob pushed. 
“I’m ovulating,” you admitted in a whisper. Bob groaned roughly. He made one quick and deep thrust into you, pulling a surprised gasp from you. 
“You want me to get you pregnant, baby?” Bob asked, his voice as slow and smooth as molasses. You nodded. “Tell me, honey. Tell me what you want.” 
“I want you to get me pregnant, Robby,” you told him. “I want you to fuck your cum deep into me.” 
“All you had to do was ask, baby,” Bob said with a smile. He began fucking you again, faster this time. If you wanted his cum he was going to give it to you. You clawed at his back and he left hickies over your chest and neck. Bob reached down between your bodies to rub circles over your clit. You moaned loudly. 
“Can I please come?” You begged. 
“Yeah, baby, go ahead,” Bob told you. You fell apart on Bob’s cock, tightening down on him as he thrust into you. He moaned loudly, making a few harsh thrusts into you before you felt him coming deep into you. He kept fucking into you as he rode out his orgasm. You were slowly coming down. He leaned back onto his knees so he was upright and grabbed your hips. He lifted you and pulled you down against him, getting deeper than you had ever felt him before. The new sensation threw you into another unexpected orgasm and you cried out in pleasure, milking Bob’s cock for everything he could give you. 
“Thank you, Robby,” you whimpered. Bob chuckled.
“I’m not done, sweetheart. If we want you to get pregnant I should probably give you more than one load.” You whimpered at the thought alone. Bob could already feel himself getting hard again. He rubbed your clit slowly, making you clench and flex around him. It was just what he needed to make him rock hard again. You moaned at the feeling of him hardening inside you. 
“Give it to me, Robby,” you whined. Bob didn’t need any other words of encouragement to begin fucking into you. He started off with a steady pace–not too fast, but not slow either. You were falling apart regardless, completely unable to hold in orgasms anymore as you lost yourself in the pleasure of Bob’s cock. He hit just the right spot and you felt the tightness in your stomach exploding again.
“Are you coming again?” 
“Yes, Robby,” you gasped. “I’m–ungh–I’m sorry. I can’t h-help it,” you whined. 
“Pathetic little thing, aren’t you?” Bob taunted. The degradation only made you come harder. His dog tags were dangling over you as he thrust in and out. You reached up and twisted the chain around your finger, tugging him down to meet your lips. He kissed you with a passion that reminded you of the very first time you kissed. His thrusts were getting more irregular as you continued pulsing around him. He reached down to your clit, desperate to pull one last orgasm from you. He rubbed against the sensitive nub, lubricated by his own cum leaking out around his cock. 
You screamed out in overwhelming pleasure and came again. Fire burned through your body as every part of your body tightened and then snapped into a release. You were moaning loudly, not really aware of the sounds that were coming out of your mouth. You started squirting again, the fluid spraying out around Bob’s cock as he continued to fuck into you. He groaned loudly at the sight. Bob grunted, gasping loudly before hammering harshly into you with a deafening moan as he emptied everything he had into you. Bob rolled off of you after a moment. The two of you lay there, quietly catching your breath as the two of you each recovered from the strongest orgasms either of you had ever had. 
“How many times was that for you, sweetheart?” Bob asked after a moment. 
“Eight, I think,” you admitted. 
“Jesus,” Bob said. “I hope the pregnancy hormones are this good too.” 
“You came so much, Robby. I can feel it inside me,” you murmured. “It’s so warm.” 
“Will you push it out for me, baby? Will you show me what I gave you?” Bob requested. He leaned up and grabbed the camera. 
“That’s not gonna help me get pregnant,” you said. 
“I’ll push it back into you, baby. Besides, I fucked my first load real deep into you,” he said. 
“You’re so dirty, Robby,” you teased. Bob smiled. He kissed your thigh. 
“Please, baby?” You rolled your eyes but smiled. You clenched your insides, trying to push out the thick cumload Bob had given you. Suddenly you felt the warm liquid dripping down your folds. “Fucking hell, honey.” He took one last picture. He scooped his cum back up onto his fingers, pushing it back into you again. He crawled up the bed to be level with you, putting the camera on the bedside table and picking up the stack of photos. 
“Want to see?” Bob asked. You nodded as you scooted over to his side. The two of you looked through the photos, Bob complimenting something about you in each one. When you got to the photo you had taken of him you grinned widely. 
“You look so sexy, Bobby,” you said. Bob chuckled. 
“Glad you think so, honey,” he said. You bumped your arm against him. 
“You’re an adonis, Bobby. Completely out of my league,” you said with a smile. Bob rolled his eyes. 
“Honey, I’m in a squad with adonises, but I ain’t one,” Bob joked. 
“Oh, please. None of them even compare to you. You had me wrapped around your finger the moment I saw your eyes,” you said in reflex. Bob could tell you meant it by how quickly you said it. 
“I love you, baby,” he said simply. You looked up at him and kissed him gently. 
“I love you too.” Bob turned back to the photos. 
“Could you write me notes on them? Like you do with my lunches?” Bob asked shyly. You grinned at him, leaning to kiss him gleefully. You pulled away with a smile still on your face. He always told you how much he loved the notes you put in his lunch everyday. 
“Yes,” you said simply. “Do you want them to be sexy or sweet?” You asked. Bob smiled softly. 
“Both, just like you.” Bob flipped to the picture of his cum dripping out of your pussy. He hummed softly at it. “I sorta wish I could’ve had one with my cum on your face too,” he said. You smirked. 
“I think I can make that happen.”
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mywritersmind · 2 days ago
Text
THREE DAYS. TWO CONFESSIONS. - KA12
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summary : A pair of flirty teens with rich parents and talent running through their blood. In three days of running into eachother in black and red, the pair seem to come to the conclusion that maybe their jokes aren’t too far off from the truth.
listen up : suggestive jokes. dual pov!! mutual pining! banter! kimixbearman!reader. idk apparently i have a thing for wrong kimi x photographers
word count : 3740
⋆。‧˚⋆
I’m staring at him.
He’s talking to an engineer from Mercedes, leaning against a table with his arms braced against it. Fuck his arms. Tan and veiny, gripping the table.
His curls bounce as he nods, his jaw moving as his words meet the open air. I bring my camera up to my face, peering through and snapping one shot. One for myself.
One of him.
Kimi turns his head when I take the photo, the confused look on his face changing, the corner of his lip quirking upwards.
He excuses himself, walking over to me while slipping his hands into his pockets, “Antonelli.” I nod.
“Bella.” He says it as if it’s any other word, yet the weight of it hangs above me like a knife.
He’s called me ‘Bella’ ever since I caught him talking to his friend in italian two years ago. He was explaining who was in the group photo we took at Prema and he said, “The pretty one to the left is Y/n.”
In the moment, my heart did a funny flip, but I played it off and am now stuck with him calling me ‘Pretty’ in his favorite romantic language.
“Saw your face when Lewis radioed.” I fake a frown, “Don't want the car anymore?”
He stays calm and collected, his accent hitting me once again, “It’s like you don’t want to see me every weekend next year.” He frowns, “I know you better than that.”
I cross my arms, looking up at him, “Do you?”
“If I wasn’t there, who would you bully?”
A small smile breaks my cool exterior, “True. My brother isn’t as easy as you.”
He bites his lip, shaking his head, “Ollie is a project for both of us to bug.”
⋆༺
I’m in the Ferrari garage for the majority of the day, practice going smoothly and my day getting increasingly boring.
I end up walking over to Ollie as he gets out of his car, “My speedy brother!” I smile as he pulls his helmet off, the same grin he has everytime he gets out of a car.
“My snappy sister.” He greets me as I raise a brow. “Oh! Later today I'm going over to Kimi’s room so I can’t get dinner with you…” I frown, “Sorry! Guys night. Jack too.”
I cross my arms, “How are the three of you already pissing me off and your season hasn’t started yet?” Ollie just laughs and shrugs, leaving me in the pitlane.
I continue my walk, taking some more photos even though I'm technically supposed to focus on Ferrari pics. I see Kimi in the Mercedes garage, talking animatedly with Lewis.
I pull myself away because too many times I’ve gotten caught looking at him.
I continue my walk to see Jack Doohan standing alone, “Jack!” I smile as I approach him.
He grins a toothy smile, “Y/n! Long time no see!”
“Shit, yeah! How’ve you been?”
“Great! This weather is worrying me though.” I look up to the blue skies, frowning, “I have a feeling.” Jack and his ‘feelings’ are well known in the paddock.
“Well, if it does rain i’m calling for a singing in the rain moment!”
“I’m thinking more of Tom Holland and an umbrella.” I let out a loud laugh, reaching out to touch his arm.
“I’m so in! I can definitely find a black wig and leather.” He shakes his head, his gaze flicking past me.
I turn instinctively. Kimi is looking at us, his face blank but soon turns into a soft smile and a wave. Jack waves back but Kimi doesn’t look at me, just walks back into the garage.
I make a face, turning back to Jack, “Weird.” He laughs out loud, staring down at me, “What?”
Jack just shakes his head, “I’ll see you later, Y/n.”
⋆༺
KIMI
The guys somehow found three old gaming controllers and hooked them up to the TV. Ollie and Jack are screaming at each other as I grab the ice bucket, “Hey! Grab me a candy bar?”
“Oh! And some crisps!” Jack cuts in. Rolling my eyes, I grab some cash and slip out the door.
As I walk down the hallway, I’m humming a stupid one direction song that Ollie got stuck in my head. The hotel is nice and I pause when I walk past the window.
Brazil stares back at me, the darkness isolating the few lights that are still on. I pull myself away from the view and continue humming and walking to the ice machine.
I stop my noise as soon as I turn the corner, seeing a girl standing with her back facing me, and her foot repeatedly hitting the vending machine.
She’s in pink low waisted flared sweats, and what looks like a formerly oversized shirt, cut into a crop and off the shoulder top.
“Fuck!” She yells again, this time placing her hands on the machine.
“Y/n?” I don’t mean to scare her, but she jumps. “Sorry. You need help?”
She looks hopelessly between me and the machine, crossing her arms over her bare skin, “Yes. This stupid thing ate my money!”
I can’t help but smile at her anger, her face is red and her hair looks like she’s shoved her hands through it a million times.
I quietly nod, peering into the box and seeing the stuck candy. I put my money in, buying a packet of strawberry cookies that do exactly what I hoped.
When the pack falls, it knocks her candy right out. “My savior.” She jokes before bending down and reaching into it. My gaze flicks down to her ass, the curve of her waist and her skin on display.
When she stands, I finally see her candy. It’s a chocolate bar with some sort of nuts and she looks ecstatic to finally have it in her grasp.
“Thank you!” She hands over my cookies that I hope Ollie will eat, “How’s the boys night going? They put you on errand duties?” She laughs a bit, a sound I wish I could bottle.
I scratch the back of my neck, “Yeah… What are you up to tonight?”
She shrugs, “Movies, going through pictures, snacks, crying. The usual?”
I let out a breathy laugh, “Why are you crying?”
“I miss my cat.”
“Mmm, peppermint.” I swear she almost starts crying right there. But she takes a breath, “You alone?”
It’s like a switch flips and she’s suddenly looking up at me like I'm more than some kid from karting. She bats her eyelashes, “I don’t have to be. Ditch the guys, I'm watching the princess bride.” I frown, I do love that movie.
“As appealing as that sounds… I think your brother would have an issue with that.” Her lips quirk into a slow smirk. God I love her lips.
“Tell them you got lost. Or kidnapped!” she steps a bit closer, “You really gonna turn down my invite?”
Fuck. Actually fuck. Fuck Ollie for having such a hot sister and fuck her for being so damn convincing. “You’re making it really hard for me.”
She doesn’t miss a fucking beat, raising a brow innocently, “Making more than one thing hard?”
I bite my lip, shaking my head, “You’re funny.”
She doesn’t break eye contact, “I aim to please.”
“You’re gonna get me in trouble, Bella.” I see her flirty facade break when I call her that. She likes it and I like that I can make her blush like that.
She flips her hair over her shoulder, “There’s this thing called self control.
I run my tongue over my teeth, “Trust me. I know a thing or two about it.” She looks satisfied at my answer, “Is this gonna come back to haunt me?”
She blinks innocently, backing up, “I have no idea what you’re talking about!”
I groan, watching her sinister smirk as she leaves, “Bearman…”
She mocks me, laughing, “Antonelli.” I want her to say my name a million times in a million different ways.
I nod slowly, “Have fun crying!”
“Have fun thinking about me!” She blows a kiss before disappearing around the corner. I want to chase after her and keep our conversation going forever.
Instead, I buy a bag of crisps and a chocolate bar. Walking back to my room, all I can wonder is why the universe continues to test me with my best friend's bloody sister.
⋆༺
YOU
I bounce around the paddock, RAYE in my headphones and my camera in hand. The sprint is over and after some dramatics, the rain started.
I texted Jack as soon as I saw the dark cloud, letting him know he’d be good as a prophet.
I run into Franco, he looks tired but happy to see me, “Fran!” He hasn’t been here for long, but his first day was when we met and hit it off instantly. He’s like another brother to me.
“I’m hiding from the media.” He whispers, “Anything interesting happen to you recently?” My mind immediately goes to Kimi and last night. Something about him just makes me need to mess with him.
But maybe it’s not all for fun, maybe it’s a bit of truth mixed with flirting.
“Uh oh…” Franco points at me, “You've got that look in your eye.”
I scoff, playing it off, “What look?”
“That look like something interesting did happen to you. Spill!” I’m about to say something but a figure appears next to us, clapping his hand with Franco and smiling at me.
“Norris!” I thank god for the distraction.
“What’s up?” He’s in all papaya orange, a water bottle in hand.
Franco smirks, “Y/n here was just about to tell me about her interesting life!” He crosses his arms, “Go ahead.”
“Oh?” Lando turns to me as well, standing next to Franco. I suddenly feel very ganged up on.
“I’m not telling you two anything! You’re both too nosy.”
“Can’t help but be curious. Especially about you.” Franco’s relaxed manner makes my lips crack, smiling a bit. “So tell us, who’s the boy?”
“You’re not my brother- you don’t get to ask that.”
“You tell Ollie about your boy troubles?” Lando asks.
“He’s my twin, it’s in the rule book. At least everything he won’t gag at.”
Lando laughs at this, his eyes tracking past me and I know instantly as him and Franco smile, “Kid!” Lando waves him over just as Franco catches the look on my face.
His mouth drops but I just run my tongue over my teeth, holding back my smile with my hands on my hips.
Kimi is next to me in seconds, coolly looking at me as if he wasn’t an inch away from me yesterday. “Hey.”
“So what are your intentions?” Franco comes in hot and embarrassing, my eyes widening at him.
Kimi looks confused and a little intimidated, “With…?”
I stare Franco down, my eyes wide and panicked, Lando finally understanding and breaking out into laughter.
“Next year. You gonna be okay with your friend on the grid? I mean we all saw what happened with Lewis.”
Kimi looks at me as if i’m going to be any help, “I think i’ll be okay… Y/n will probably give me more issues than Ol.”
I scoff, “Right. You’re so cocky with Merc. Do you need a reminded how Lewis is driving that car this weekend?” I tick and wave my finger, “Ollie was totally geeking out when he overtook him.”
He laughs as Lando smiles, “I say we get Y/n a car and see how she likes it.”
Kimi shakes his head, “Don't say that! She’ll go bowling and still win.”
I smile widely, “I was a menace in karting. Kimi has never had the pleasure of racing against me.”
“You’re the one getting cocky, Bella. You really think you can beat me?” I nod, knowing full well I would not beat him.
Lando and Franco both look at us quizzically, “Bella?” Franco speaks italian. Something Kimi clearly did not know.
Lando frowns, “Bella? Is that your middle name or something.” Kimi looks like a deer in headlights.
“More like a nickname.” I mumble.
Franco eyes me, “And you know what it means?”
Lando is still confused, “What does it mean!?”
We all ignore him, “Mhm.” I say as Kimi fiddles with his ring, “Anyways- I gotta go!”
⋆༺
I ignore Kimi for the rest of the day. In my mind, i’m blaming it on work as if the rain hasn’t stopped my job.
Well, I still sit in the garage and snap pictures of the same things over and over again. Charles and Carlos are pretty but become boring to look at after two hours of them sitting and staring into space.
“Y/n!” The head media manager comes up to me, “Could you go print out what I just sent you? It’s for a tiktok.” I nod, grateful for a distraction and a reason to get out of the cold.
Walking through the halls, I stare at blank walls and try to find the printer which we share with two other teams.
It’s hidden in a dark corner, the door shut. I walk in, still humming to my music when I face Kimi. I’m reminded of last night and how his humming ceased when he saw me.
He turns around when the door squeaks, “Oh, Hey.”
“They got you running errands again?” I smile, the door shutting behind me.
“You’re one to talk.” He eyes my phone in my hand, the picture pulled up already.
“Fair enough…” I walk closer to him, he’s leaning over the printer, “How long is your stuff going to take?”
“I’m assuming a while because I can’t get it to work.” My eyebrows pull together as I look at the tiny screen, my arm brushing his as I reach over and press some buttons.
I eye his arms, something that keeps acting a magnet for my eyes. Stupid driver workouts.
Kimi checks his watch, groaning, “I gotta be back soon.” I keep messing with it as he crosses his arms.
“I’m not very experienced in printers.” I shrug, turning to him, “Maybe we can borrow Haas’?” He makes a face, “It’s a printer, not a car part.”
When he reaches for the doorknob a sense of sadness washes over me, knowing we’ll be separated again.
But i’m supposed to be avoiding him! I can't make up my mind and it’s making me angry. I don’t want to be with him but I do at the same time and I'm busy and stressed and he’s so damn cute.
He turns it, except it doesn’t turn. His hand slides over it as it stays in place. He looks back at me, already panicked.
Suddenly, i’ve completely forgot about why I want to stay with him. Because all I can focus on is that I’m stuck in a tiny room with Kimi Antonelli and no fucking air.
⋆༺
KIMI
We’ve texted everyone we know, called and banged on the door, yet still… nothing.
I think she’s freaking out because her hand hasn’t left her bracelet. I sit next to her on the floor as she shivers, “I’m going to petition for a bigger warning budget.” I laugh a bit, shrugging off my jacket.
I see her gaze drop to the black bomber, “I don’t know how you’re cold because I'm getting hot.” I push the jacket closer to her and she offers a small smile and pulls it on.
I think she’s going to stay quiet, but she looks up and sighs, “Must be because I'm so hot.”
I laugh, grateful for her humor back, “Glad to know you’re feeling well enough to talk yourself up.” a small smile graces her lips again.
“The day I don’t, call the police.” She crosses her arms, pulling my jacket close to her, “Thanks.”
“No problem, I told you, you look good in mercedes merch.” She’s facing the wall across from us still, her head tilted back as she bites back a smile.
“Do I look good in Mercedes, or is it just because it’s yours?” She tilts her head towards me as a slow smile meets my lips.
“Bit of both?” I look at her. Her eyes locked on mine as they squint a bit, assessing my answer. “Mostly cause it’s mine.”
She shakes her head, looking forward again, her cheeks pink.
“Your flirting game has improved.” she teases again, “Must be all the time around me.” cocky. arrogant. and correct.
“Nah, I think it’s because I actually mean it.” I see her breathing change, her smile fading.
“Too far, Antonelli. Don’t do that.” She whispers.
“Do what?”
She sits up, turning towards me completely, “Giving me false hope.”
I blink, realizing that this is real and happening right now as we’re stuck in a tiny room, “There’s nothing false about it.” when she starts to look away from me, rolling her eyes, I scoff, “You can’t be the one upset about this. You started this!”
“I started this?” she looks shocked but her voice is still calm, “You called me ‘Bella’. You called me Bella and I didn’t even know your last name.”
“Some girls would like that I described her as I see her. And you 100% love it.” She licks her lips as I continue, “Ollie tells both of us to stop constantly. I thought you at least do it to bug him.”
“Kimi. I don’t care what my brother says that much and… If I was doing it because of Ollie- I wouldn’t flirt with you when we’re alone.”
“So you like it. So why did you tell me to stop?” I can’t quite place the look on her face, confusion mixed with… anger?
“I told you… false hope.”
“And I told you. There’s nothing false about it.” She swallows. I can hear myself breathing as she stares at me.
She stares at me as if it's the first time we met. She stares at me like she knows everything about me. She’s confusing and it’s making me so angry because we’re stuck in this fucking room and neither of us will-
I’m so caught up in my own mind that I don’t realize she’s leaning in. I don’t realize until her hand touches my jaw and her lips are on mine.
She pulls back, her eyes wide and her breath quickened. “I- Sorry.” I’m shaking my head and pulling her in before she can talk again.
She tastes like mint and smells like chocolate. My hand slips under the jacket, gripping her waist. I think I'm dreaming and if I am I don’t want to ever be woken up.
“Bella.” I whisper, my breath ragged and her smile pressing against my lips.
And then the door opens.
We pull apart so quickly that when Ollie blinks down at us, he doesn't see us. But he knows.
Y/n’s lips are red and my cheeks match it. We’re both panting and Ollie just blinks.
“Ollie.” Y/n says, her voice breaking the silence.
“No.” Is all he says before turning around and leaving.
⋆༺
YOU
Ollie isn’t pissed.
Ollie is… embarrassed? Uncomfortable? Horrified that he caught his sister and best friend making out?
We had texted him to get us out of that room and obviously I completely forgot because I was FUCKING KISSING KIMI.
I’m still warm and absolutely buzzing, but with the rain delay, I'm on extra photo duty. I edit all through the afternoon and fall asleep before I even think of texting him.
On quali and race day, I wake up way too early to my phone dead, and when I finally make it to the track, I'm working again.
With my phone a tiny bit charged, I text Kimi.
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I’m tapping my foot the whole race, cringing at every crash and mentally screaming at every red flag.
I keep checking my phone to see if Kimi has texted me but still nothing. He pops up on the TV when Lewis gets overtaken.
I don’t mean to smile, but I do.
It’s ridiculous. I’m acting like a total school girl! One day, i’m flirting and sizing him up because I thought our game was… well… just a game. Even though I didn’t want it to be. And the next, I'm kissing him and checking my phone like an obsessed freak in love.
I really do like him. And that scares me a whole lot more than I expected.
⋆༺
KIMI
I frown with the team at todays result for Lewis, but I fucking run out of the garage the second the podium starts.
I find her in the midst of chaos, her hair is wet and I can’t help but laugh. She doesn’t see me yet, but she’s making a disgusted face and peeling her hair off her face, “Bella.”
She turns just then, her face morphing into a smile, “Hi.”
“You wanted to talk?” She nods, pulling me into an empty glass room.
“I like you.”
A slow smile pulls at my lips as I lean against the table, “I like you too…”
She sighs, like all she needed was to hear that. “But i’m fucking scared because how does that even work and I always thought you flirted back as a joke and Ollie is so weird about it and I really really like you.”
I take her hand in mine, her eyes settling on me, “The first time I saw you, I told Ollie you were pretty. He then informed me that you were his twin and I wanted to die.” She laughs out loud, “But it’s more than your face, because as pretty as you are, and as much as we flirt… I like you because you’re the smartest eighteen year old I know and the only one who can make me laugh and blush simultaneously.”
Her breath slows, stepping closer so she’s standing in between my legs, “I’m sorry for being a pussy about you.”
I laugh, “I wouldn’t give up your cheesy lines for anything.” my favorite smile stares back at me. The one that I create. I poke her in the side, “You fancy me!” I mock her accent as she rolls her eyes and kisses me.
She’s sweet and perfect and my girl.
236 notes · View notes
mcrdvcks · 3 days ago
Text
i love you, in every time ࿐‧₊ 1880 - labyrinth of my heart
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chapter summary: When walking the streets of Chicago he spots you across the street, so real, so alive. Logan takes this as a second chance; but fear slowly slithers up, making him wonder if he'll lose you all over again.
word count: 9.3k+
pairing: Logan Howlett x fem!reader
notes: first, i want to say thank you so much for the support and love for this series! this is way shorter than the first chapter, only because i wanted the ending to feel abrupt to hopefully make it feel more realistic. anyways, i'm super excited for next chapter since it's a concept i haven't ever really done before. but for now, enjoy this while it lasts :)
warnings/tags: fluff, angst, outdated mindsets on women, character death
series masterlist - chapter 1 → chapter 3
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Logan left New York City after you died, going back to Victor who told him exactly what he expected to hear, ‘you shouldn’t have fallen in love,’ and ‘the only people we can trust is each other’.
The Civil War had begun seven years after your death as he and Victor fought for the North for four whole years. There was one thing he always kept with him, the ring he bought for you, that he never got to use. It stayed in his pocket at all times, never leaving, always there.
He had been doing the same thing he was doing before he met you, moving around the country, never staying in a spot for too long, doing odd jobs to stay afloat.
Logan found himself in Chicago, walking along the sidewalk, the faint sound of a train in the distance. The air was heavy with the scent of coal smoke, the city bustling with life in the late afternoon. Men in long coats and women in modest dresses hurried past him, some tipping their hats in his direction as he walked by. It was just another city to him, another place he would pass through on his way to nowhere in particular.
It had been 26 years since you died. Twenty-six long years, but to Logan, it still felt like yesterday. The weight of your loss hadn’t lessened. If anything, it had only grown heavier. Every town, every face he saw, reminded him of you in some way. That soft smile you always wore, the way you’d brush your hair behind your ear when you were deep in thought. He kept your memory alive in the smallest of ways. The ring he’d never had the chance to give you stayed in his pocket, its presence a constant, painful reminder.
He walked without a destination, his mind lost in the past as his feet carried him down the streets of Chicago. The city had a pulse of its own, far different from the quiet life in New York where you’d once lived, where you had died in his arms. He hadn't felt truly alive since then—just going through the motions of life, the decades slipping by as if time itself didn’t matter.
As Logan neared a small schoolhouse, something caught his eye. A group of children were gathered outside, their laughter echoing through the street as they played. But it wasn’t the children that caused Logan to stop. It was the woman standing among them, her smile bright as she helped one of the younger boys tie his shoe. The world around him seemed to blur, fading away as his gaze locked onto her.
It was you.
Logan’s heart stilled in his chest. He blinked, sure that his eyes were playing tricks on him, but there you were, the same face, the same gentle presence. You looked exactly as you had all those years ago—maybe a little younger, maybe a little different, but unmistakably you.
For a moment, he couldn’t move. He just stood there, watching you laugh with the children, completely unaware of his presence. His mind struggled to make sense of what he was seeing. You were dead. He had been there. He had held you as you took your last breath, felt the life leave your body. And yet, here you were, as if the last 26 years had never happened.
Logan’s feet moved on their own, pulling him closer to the schoolyard. His heart pounded in his chest, his throat dry. His mind raced with a thousand questions. How could this be? Was it some kind of dream? A cruel trick?
But the closer he got, the more real you became. You were wearing a simple dress, your hair tied up in a way he hadn’t seen before, and yet everything about you felt so familiar. The way you carried yourself, the warmth in your eyes as you spoke to the children—it was all you.
“Excuse me, miss,” he called out, his voice rougher than he intended.
You turned at the sound of his voice, your eyes meeting his for the first time, and Logan felt his heart lurch. It was like being thrown back in time—like the years between this moment and the day you died had vanished. You looked at him with a polite curiosity, but there was no recognition in your eyes. No flicker of memory. To you, he was just a stranger.
“Yes, can I help you?” you asked, your voice soft, kind.
Logan’s breath caught in his throat. He didn’t know what to say. How could he possibly explain what was running through his mind? How could he tell you that he had loved you, that he had lost you, and that now—somehow—you were standing in front of him again?
“I... I thought I knew you,” he said, his voice low, almost a whisper. He didn’t trust himself to say more. His hands clenched into fists at his sides, the ring in his pocket suddenly feeling heavier than ever.
You smiled, but it was the smile of someone trying to be polite, not of someone who knew him. “I don’t think we’ve met before,” you said. “I’m Y/N. I’m the schoolteacher here.”
Logan swallowed hard. Of course, you wouldn’t remember. You had no idea who he was, no memory of the life you’d lived before. To you, this was just another day, another moment. But to Logan, it was everything. The realization hit him like a punch to the gut. You were here, alive again, but you weren’t his Y/N. Not yet, anyway.
“I’m Logan,” he finally managed, his voice thick with emotion he couldn’t hide. He couldn’t take his eyes off you, his heart aching in a way that felt both familiar and new.
You nodded, offering another warm smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Logan. Was there something you needed?”
Logan shook his head slowly, still reeling from the shock of seeing you again. “No,” he said quietly. “No, I... I just thought you looked like someone I used to know.”
You tilted your head slightly, a curious look in your eyes. “I get that sometimes. Chicago’s a big city, but it can feel small.”
Logan nodded, though his mind was far from this moment. He couldn’t tear his gaze away from you, couldn’t shake the feeling that this was some kind of miracle—a second chance. But what could he do with it? Could he approach you, tell you everything? Or would that only drive you away?
Before he could say anything more, the school bell rang, and the children started to gather their things. You glanced back at the sound, then looked at him with an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, I have to get back to my class. But maybe I’ll see you around?”
Logan nodded, his throat too tight to respond with words. He watched as you turned and walked back toward the schoolhouse, his heart aching with the weight of all the things he couldn’t say.
For the first time in 26 years, Logan felt hope stir in his chest. You were here. You were alive. And even if you didn’t remember him, even if you didn’t know who he was... he couldn’t walk away. Not this time.
---
Logan stayed near the schoolyard most afternoons, hidden just enough not to draw attention, watching you from a distance. It felt strange, almost painful, standing there, knowing you had no idea who he was. Every time you emerged from the schoolhouse with Ida, another schoolteacher, chatting and laughing, the urge to approach you tugged at him. But fear held him back—fear that you’d think he was insane, or worse, that you’d reject him outright.
He clenched his fists inside his coat pockets, feeling the cool metal of the ring press against his palm. It had been with him through wars, across states, through lifetimes. And now, here you were, alive again, and he still didn’t know what to do with it.
It was absurd, the way his heart raced just from seeing you walk down the street. How after all these years—after so much pain—hope could sneak its way back in. This wasn’t just a coincidence. It couldn’t be. Logan wasn’t the type to believe in magic or miracles, but what else could explain this?
As he lingered, the school bell rang, signaling the end of another day. Children poured out of the building, laughing and running. A few hung on your arms as you walked them down the steps, their chatter filling the air.
Logan shifted from foot to foot, nerves prickling along his spine. Just talk to her, idiot. You’ve been through worse.
But when you stepped into the street, Ida at your side as usual, the words died in his throat.
“Y/N, you coming for dinner at my place tonight?” Ida asked, tucking a stray curl beneath her bonnet.
You smiled, brushing your hands on your skirts. “Can’t tonight, but I’ll stop by tomorrow. The kids wore me out today.”
Ida chuckled. “You’ll turn into an old maid before you’re thirty at this rate.”
You rolled your eyes, but your laugh was warm. Logan felt the sound of it settle deep in his chest—like an old memory coming back to life. It was a laugh he hadn’t heard in 26 years, and it took everything in him not to run to you right then and there.
As you and Ida turned the corner toward the tenement, Logan followed at a distance. His heart hammered against his ribs. He just needed a moment, a chance to say something—anything.
Finally, the two of you paused outside the building. Ida gave you a quick hug before heading upstairs, leaving you alone on the stoop. You stood there for a moment, adjusting your shawl against the evening chill.
This is it. Now or never.
Logan forced his feet to move, crossing the street toward you.
You looked up as he approached, a little surprised but not alarmed. “Logan, wasn’t it?”
His throat felt tight, but he gave a short nod. “Yeah. Logan.”
You smiled softly, the same kind smile that had haunted his dreams. “What brings you by?”
He cleared his throat, trying to find the right words. “I... I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”
Your brow furrowed slightly, but there was no fear, only curiosity. “About what?”
Logan shifted his weight, his hands tightening around the edges of his coat. The ring in his pocket seemed to burn against his skin, a reminder of everything unsaid.
“I... You remind me of someone,” he admitted, voice low. “Someone I lost a long time ago.”
You studied him for a moment, your gaze steady but gentle. “I’m sorry,” you said quietly. “That must’ve been hard.”
Logan’s jaw clenched. “Yeah,” he muttered. “It was.”
There was a beat of silence between you—heavy, charged with the weight of all the things Logan couldn’t say. You didn’t know him, didn’t know what you’d meant to him in another life, but standing here, so close to you again, it felt like the world had tilted back into place.
“You... wanna walk for a bit?” Logan asked suddenly, the words tumbling out before he could stop them.
You hesitated, but only for a moment. Something in his expression must’ve stirred your kindness, because you nodded. “Alright.”
The two of you started down the sidewalk together, the city humming around you. Logan kept his hands stuffed in his pockets, fingers brushing the ring again and again like a talisman.
“So, how long have you been in Chicago?” you asked, glancing over at him.
Logan shrugged. “Not long. Just passing through.”
You gave a small smile. “It’s a good place to get lost in for a while.”
He huffed a quiet laugh. “Yeah. Guess so.”
The conversation fell into a comfortable rhythm after that—small talk, nothing too deep. Logan told you bits and pieces about his travels, careful not to reveal too much. He learned that you’d moved to Chicago a couple of years ago, taking the teaching job because it felt right.
“I’ve always liked working with kids,” you said with a soft smile. “There’s something... hopeful about it, you know?”
Logan nodded, though hope had been a foreign concept to him for a long time. But walking beside you now, listening to your voice, he felt something stir in him—a flicker of warmth he thought he’d lost forever.
As the evening deepened and the sky turned a dusky purple, you reached your building again. You stopped on the stoop, turning to face him.
“Thank you for the walk,” you said, your smile gentle. “It was nice.”
Logan nodded, his heart heavy with everything he wanted to say but couldn’t. “Yeah. It was.”
For a moment, it felt like time stood still—like the universe had bent just enough to give him this moment with you. And even though you didn’t remember him, didn’t know the history you shared, Logan knew he couldn’t let you slip away again.
“Y/N...” he began, his voice low, almost hesitant.
You tilted your head, waiting.
He swallowed hard, the words catching in his throat. “Can I see you again?”
Your smile widened, something warm flickering in your eyes. “I’d like that.”
Logan gave a short nod, his heart pounding against his ribs.
“Good,” he murmured.
And for the first time in 26 years, Logan allowed himself to believe—just for a moment—that maybe, just maybe, he’d found his way back to you.
---
You had taken up Ida’s offer after all, you lived in the same building so it wasn’t like it was out of the way for you.
“Oh, hey! Thought you weren’t gonna come by.”
You shrugged, taking off your shawl, “changed my mind.” You sat down on the couch and told Ida about your walk with Logan, and she listened intently.
“I’m surprised you hadn’t noticed him. He’s been watching the schoolyard for the past few weeks.”
"Wait, what do you mean, ‘he’s been watching the schoolyard for weeks?’” you asked, your brows knitting together as you leaned forward.
Ida waved her hand dismissively but gave you a sly smile. “Oh, don’t get the wrong idea. He hasn’t been creepy about it or anything. Just... noticed him hanging around, that’s all. Kind of hard to miss a guy like that, don’t you think?”
You blinked, a sudden flush creeping up your neck. “A guy like what?”
“Oh, come on, Y/N,” she teased, sitting down across from you. “Tall, rugged... that serious, brooding look. You’re telling me you didn’t notice? He’s practically been glued to the corner across from the schoolhouse for days.”
You chewed on your bottom lip, thinking back to the walk you’d just had with Logan. You hadn’t seen him watching the school, but now that Ida mentioned it... there had been something in his eyes. A familiarity you couldn’t quite place, like he was looking at you but seeing something—or someone—else.
“I didn’t know he was hanging around,” you admitted, glancing down at your hands. “But... he seems kind. Sad, but kind.”
Ida leaned back, crossing her arms over her chest with a thoughtful hum. “Sad, huh? You picked up on that, too?”
You nodded, feeling a strange tightness in your chest. There had been a weight to Logan’s presence, something unspoken in his voice, like he was carrying the world on his shoulders. And then there was the way he looked at you—like he wanted to say something but couldn’t bring himself to.
“You think he’s okay?” you asked quietly.
Ida shrugged, her teasing expression softening. “Who knows? The world’s a tough place. We all got our own burdens to carry. But... maybe he’s looking for something.”
“Looking for what?”
“Maybe someone to share the load,” she replied with a small smile, her eyes twinkling. “Maybe that someone’s you.”
You shook your head, the idea seeming too far-fetched. “I don’t even know him, Ida. I mean, we just talked for the first time today.”
“Hey, stranger things have happened,” Ida said, getting up to grab a pot of tea from the stove. “You felt something, right? That’s not nothing.”
You sighed, leaning back against the couch. “I guess. He did say I reminded him of someone he lost.”
Ida paused, setting the teapot down carefully. “Lost, huh? That would explain the sad part. But... why hang around you then? What’s he hoping to find?”
“I don’t know,” you murmured, more to yourself than to her. The idea that Logan had been watching you, even unknowingly, made something stir in your chest—a mix of curiosity and something you couldn’t quite name.
Ida handed you a cup of tea, sitting back down beside you. “Well, maybe next time you see him, you can ask.”
You looked up at her, one eyebrow raised. “Ask him why he’s hanging around the schoolyard?”
Ida laughed softly. “Maybe not that bluntly, but yeah. There’s something about him, Y/N. Might be worth finding out what.”
You sipped the tea, the warmth spreading through you. Maybe Ida was right. Maybe Logan was carrying something heavy, and maybe—just maybe—you could help.
---
The next day, you found yourself more aware of your surroundings as you walked to the schoolhouse. Every sound, every movement seemed sharper. You scanned the street, looking for a familiar figure, but Logan wasn’t there—at least, not that you could see.
The day went on as usual, though you felt a bit distracted, your mind drifting to the walk you’d shared with him. There was something about Logan that pulled at you, a quiet intensity that you couldn’t shake. He was a mystery, and part of you wanted to solve it.
When the school day ended, you lingered outside a little longer than usual, hoping—half-expecting—that he might show up again. The children ran off, their laughter echoing down the street as they disappeared into their homes. You smiled at the sight, but your thoughts were elsewhere.
“Looking for someone?”
You jumped slightly, turning to find Logan standing just a few feet away. He had approached so quietly you hadn’t even heard him.
“Logan,” you said, surprised but not unwelcome. “I didn’t see you.”
He gave a small shrug, his hands shoved into his coat pockets. “Didn’t mean to sneak up on you.”
You smiled softly, your heartbeat slowing as the initial surprise wore off. “It’s alright. Just didn’t expect to see you today.”
Logan shifted his weight, his gaze flicking to the ground for a moment before meeting yours again. “I wanted to see if you’d like to take another walk. If you’re not too tired, that is.”
You hesitated, but only for a second. There was something in his voice—something vulnerable, almost hesitant. And despite not knowing him well, you found yourself wanting to say yes.
“I’d like that,” you said, stepping down from the schoolhouse stoop.
The two of you started walking again, this time in a different direction, the afternoon sun casting long shadows over the street. For a while, neither of you spoke. It was a comfortable silence, though, the kind that didn’t need to be filled with words. Logan walked beside you, his steps steady but deliberate, like he was trying to figure something out.
“Why’ve you been hanging around the school?” you finally asked, your curiosity getting the better of you. “Ida said she noticed you there for a while.”
Logan’s jaw tightened slightly, and he didn’t answer right away. When he did, his voice was quiet. “I wasn’t trying to... I don’t know. I guess I was just... drawn there.”
“Drawn there?” you echoed, glancing up at him.
He nodded, his gaze fixed ahead. “Yeah. Like I said before, you remind me of someone.”
You didn’t press, sensing that whatever it was, it was personal. Instead, you walked in silence for a few more steps before Logan stopped abruptly.
“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he said, turning to face you fully. His eyes were intense, but there was something almost apologetic in them. “If I am, just tell me, and I’ll leave you alone.”
You shook your head quickly. “No, you’re not making me uncomfortable.”
Logan studied your face, his expression unreadable for a moment. Then he gave a small nod, almost as if he was relieved.
“Alright,” he said quietly.
The conversation shifted after that, lightening as you talked about small things—the city, your students, even the weather. Logan listened more than he spoke, but you could feel him relax bit by bit, the tension in his posture easing as the afternoon wore on.
When you reached your building again, Logan stopped with you on the stoop. There was a moment of hesitation, like he wasn’t sure if he should stay or go.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” you asked, offering him a small smile.
Logan looked at you for a long beat before nodding. “Yeah. Tomorrow.”
As you turned to head inside, you couldn’t help but glance back over your shoulder. Logan was still standing there, watching you with that same look in his eyes—the one that made you feel like you were more than just a stranger to him.
And in that moment, you realized... you didn’t want to be just a stranger to him either.
---
After about a week of Logan walking you home, it became a familiar routine. Each time, you’d stand on the stoop, exchanging a few words before you’d head inside, always with that lingering feeling of something left unsaid. But tonight was different—the air was colder, and the wind was biting, so when you reached your building, you didn’t hesitate.
“You’re not going out in that cold again,” you said firmly, reaching for his arm. He tensed slightly under your touch, but you ignored it, tugging him toward the door. “Ten minutes outside in the cold, you need to warm up before you go.”
Logan didn’t protest, but you could sense his hesitation. He glanced around the dimly lit hallway as you led him up the stairs to your small apartment.
“Don’t worry,” you teased, trying to lighten the mood. “I won’t keep you long. Just until you can feel your fingers again.”
He gave a small, almost imperceptible nod, following you inside. Once you were both in, you motioned for him to sit down on the worn couch, tossing your shawl onto a chair as you made your way to the stove to boil some water for tea.
Logan stood there for a moment, his eyes scanning the modest space, before finally sitting down. His presence seemed to fill the room, making it feel smaller, more intimate.
“You don’t gotta fuss,” he muttered, his gruff voice breaking the silence. “I’m alright.”
“Humor me,” you replied with a soft smile, setting a kettle on the stove. “Besides, I’ve been dragging you along on these walks. Least I can do is make sure you’re not freezing to death.”
Logan huffed a quiet laugh, leaning back into the couch. His eyes followed your movements, though his expression stayed guarded. He looked... cautious, like he wasn’t sure how to be here with you, in this space. It was strange, this carefulness, coming from a man who seemed so unbreakable.
“Why don’t you tell me more about yourself?” you asked, turning to face him while the water heated up. “We’ve been walking for a week, and I feel like I barely know you.”
Logan’s gaze shifted, and you could tell he was weighing his words. “Not much to tell,” he said after a beat. “Just a guy who’s been around a while.”
You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms. “That’s it? No family, no friends? You just... wander?”
He looked down at his hands, his fingers idly tracing the worn fabric of the couch. “Had family once. Friends, too. Lost most of ‘em.”
There was a heaviness in his voice, and you could feel the weight of his words. You didn’t push him, though. Instead, you poured the hot water into two cups, walking over and handing him one.
“Sorry,” you said softly. “That must’ve been hard.”
Logan took the cup but didn’t drink right away. He stared down into the tea, his expression unreadable. “Life’s hard for everyone,” he muttered, more to himself than to you.
You sat down beside him, the warmth from the cup seeping into your hands. For a while, the two of you sat in silence, sipping tea and letting the quiet fill the space. There was something about being near him that made you feel calm, like the world slowed down for a little while when he was around.
“Why’d you let me walk with you?” Logan asked suddenly, his voice rougher than before.
You blinked, caught off guard by the question. “What do you mean?”
“You don’t know me,” he said, shaking his head slightly. “Most people wouldn’t... They’d be scared, or they’d push me away. But you... you let me stay.”
You frowned, trying to find the right words. “I don’t know... I guess I just felt like... I should.” You shrugged, feeling a little self-conscious under his intense gaze. “Besides, you’re not exactly a scary guy. Brooding, sure, but not scary.”
A small, barely-there smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “You’re not afraid of much, are you?”
You laughed softly, shaking your head. “Not really. I mean, what’s the point of being afraid? Life’s hard enough without worrying about things that might not even happen.”
Logan’s smile faded, replaced by that familiar look of sadness. He stared into his cup for a moment, then set it down on the table in front of him. “Yeah,” he muttered. “Guess you’re right.”
The silence stretched between you again, but this time it felt heavier, like there was something unsaid hanging in the air. You could feel it, pressing down on both of you, but neither of you seemed ready to break it.
Finally, Logan stood up, his movements slow and deliberate. “I should go,” he said, though he didn’t make a move toward the door.
You stood up too, your heart pounding a little harder than usual. “Logan...”
He turned to face you, his eyes dark and full of something you couldn’t quite place. “Yeah?”
You took a step closer, your hand reaching out to touch his arm again. “You don’t have to carry it all alone,” you said softly.
For a moment, he just looked at you, his expression unreadable. Then, without saying a word, he nodded once, a silent acknowledgment that you didn’t need to explain.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said quietly before turning to leave.
You watched him go, your heart heavy but hopeful. There was something between you—something unspoken, something old—and you weren’t ready to let it go.
Not yet.
---
It had taken a few more days to convince Logan to come back into your apartment. You weren’t sure how you convinced him this time, but you were happy that you did.
Your apartment smelled nice and homey. Before you had left for work, you had put bread in the oven to bake, and now, as you came back home with Logan in tow, it was finished. The warm, inviting scent of freshly baked bread filled the room as you stepped inside. Logan hesitated in the doorway, lingering for a moment before following you in, his expression unreadable but curious.
You busied yourself with the bread, slicing into the crust and offering Logan a piece. He took it, though his attention seemed more focused on you than the food.
"Thanks," he muttered, taking a bite.
You smiled, trying to ignore the way your heart sped up just from him being here. "I was thinking..." you started, turning to grab a couple of plates from the cupboard. "Maybe we could go into the city tomorrow? It’s market day. There's a lot to see, and it’d be nice to get out of the schoolhouse routine for a bit."
Logan raised an eyebrow, leaning back against the counter. "Market, huh?"
"Yeah, you know, just... walk around. Maybe pick up a few things." You looked over at him, half expecting him to decline, but to your surprise, he didn’t.
"Alright," he said, his voice low but without hesitation. "I’ll come with you."
You smiled, feeling a small flutter of excitement in your chest. "Great. It’ll be fun. I promise."
---
The next day, you found yourself walking through the bustling streets of Chicago with Logan by your side. The market was crowded, full of people haggling and chatting, the air thick with the smell of fresh produce, spices, and the occasional whiff of roasting meat. It was a world away from the quiet walks you'd shared, and you could feel Logan's unease in the busy atmosphere. But he stayed close, his hand brushing yours more than once as you wove through the crowd.
"Do you come here often?" Logan asked, his eyes scanning the vendors with mild interest.
"Once or twice a month," you replied. "I like the energy here. Makes the city feel alive, you know?"
Logan grunted in response, though he didn’t seem entirely convinced. You could tell he wasn’t used to this—being around so many people—but he stuck close to you, his presence protective without being overbearing.
After a while, you stopped at a stall selling flowers. The colors were vibrant, a burst of life in the middle of the dusty street. You picked up a small bouquet of wildflowers, smiling as you held them up.
"These are my favorite," you said, glancing up at Logan. "They're simple but... I don't know, they make me happy."
Logan’s gaze softened as he looked at the flowers in your hand, then back at you. There was something in his eyes, a flicker of something unspoken, but he didn’t say anything. Instead, he reached into his coat and pulled out a few coins, handing them to the vendor before you could protest.
"Logan, you don’t have to—"
"Consider it a thank you," he said quietly, cutting you off. "For the bread."
You blinked, surprised but touched by the gesture. "Well, thank you."
He nodded, and the two of you continued walking, the flowers resting in the crook of your arm as the city bustled around you. For a while, you walked in comfortable silence, the sounds of the market fading into the background as the two of you wandered further from the busy streets. Eventually, you found a quiet park at the edge of the city, a small, peaceful space away from the noise.
You sat down on a bench, feeling the cool breeze brush against your skin. Logan sat beside you, his posture relaxed but his eyes always scanning the area, as if he couldn’t fully let his guard down.
"Do you ever stop looking over your shoulder?" you asked, half teasing but curious.
Logan’s mouth twitched into a small smile, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. "Old habit."
You studied him for a moment, sensing there was more behind those words. He had a way of holding himself, like he was always ready for something, always waiting. It made you wonder just how much he’d seen, how much he’d lived through.
"I’m glad you came with me today," you said softly, looking out at the park. "I feel like I’ve been stuck in a routine for a while now. It’s nice to just... do something different."
Logan glanced at you, his gaze lingering a little longer than usual. "I’m glad I came too," he admitted, his voice low.
There was something in the way he said it, something that made your heart skip a beat. The air between you felt different, charged with a quiet tension that neither of you seemed willing to break. You wondered if he felt it too—the strange pull between you, like something just beneath the surface was waiting to be uncovered.
After a long pause, Logan spoke again. "I ain’t good at... this." He gestured vaguely, his brow furrowing as he searched for the right words. "Being close to people."
You turned to him, surprised by the admission. "You’re doing fine," you said gently.
Logan’s jaw clenched slightly, and he shook his head. "It’s not that simple."
You felt a pang of something—sympathy, maybe, or understanding. Whatever it was, it made you reach out, your hand lightly brushing his. "You don’t have to explain," you said softly. "I get it."
Logan’s eyes flickered down to where your hand rested near his. For a moment, he didn’t move. Then, slowly, he turned his hand over, his rough fingers brushing against yours in the faintest of touches. It wasn’t much, but it felt like a step—like maybe, just maybe, he was letting you in.
---
As you walked to the tenement building after work one day, you glanced over at Logan. “You ever been to the exhibition hall in the city?”
Logan looked over to you, slightly puzzled by the question. “The exhibition?”
You nodded, turning toward him. “There’s a display of inventions and art from all over. I heard they’ve got this new thing—electric lights. I was thinking about going this weekend, and… maybe you’d like to come with me?”
For a moment, Logan just stared at you, as if unsure what to say. The idea of stepping out into the city, surrounded by people, probably wasn’t something he did often. But he shifted slightly, his eyes softening in that way they did when you caught him off guard.
“You want me to go with you?” he asked, a hint of surprise in his voice.
“Well, yeah,” you said, smiling. “We’ve been walking the same few streets for days. Thought it might be nice to do something different. Besides, I’m curious about those lights. They say it’s going to change the way people live.”
Logan gave a low, thoughtful hum, and for a moment, you worried he might decline. But then he nodded slowly, his expression softening further. “Alright. I’ll go.”
Your smile widened. “Great! We can meet at my place on Saturday afternoon, then head out.”
The conversation drifted back into easier topics—your students, a new bakery that had opened nearby, and the way the city seemed to grow busier every day. But beneath it all, you couldn’t shake the feeling that this small invitation marked a shift, a way to see more of who Logan was beyond the quiet man who walked beside you in silence. Maybe out in the world, you’d understand him better.
---
Saturday came quickly, and the two of you walked side by side through the busy streets, the sounds of horses and carriages filling the air. You led Logan through the bustling avenues toward the exhibition hall, your excitement barely contained.
“Ever seen anything like this?” you asked, glancing up at him as the towering hall came into view.
Logan’s eyes flicked over the building, a hint of amusement tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Not in a while.”
Inside, the hall was a wonder of modern marvels. Booths lined with mechanical inventions, sculptures, and paintings from around the world. The hum of excitement filled the air, and the bright new electric lights cast a strange, almost magical glow over everything.
You wandered the displays together, your curiosity leading the way. Logan stayed close, his attention less on the inventions and more on you. Every now and then, he'd glance at a piece of machinery or a strange-looking contraption, but his eyes kept drifting back to your face, watching the way your expression changed with each new discovery.
"This is incredible," you murmured, leaning in to get a closer look at a large machine labeled as an ‘automatic loom.’ You smiled at Logan, your excitement clear. "Can you imagine how much time this would save?"
Logan nodded, though you could tell his thoughts were elsewhere. "Yeah, I can see how it'd be useful."
You moved to the next display, but Logan lingered for a moment. When he finally caught up, you were already studying a painting—a soft, pastoral scene that contrasted with the industrial energy around you.
"It's beautiful, isn’t it?" you said, glancing at him.
Logan’s gaze flicked to the painting, but quickly returned to you. "Yeah," he said, though it was clear he wasn’t talking about the art.
You felt his eyes on you again and looked up, meeting his gaze. There was something there—something that made your heart skip. Logan had always been protective, always hovering just close enough to shield you if need be. But this felt different, like there was more to it now.
"You sure this ain’t boring for you?" you asked, trying to lighten the moment. "I know you’re not one for crowds."
Logan gave a quiet grunt, his version of a chuckle. "It’s fine. Long as you’re enjoying yourself."
You smiled, touched by the sentiment. "I am. Thanks for coming with me."
For a while, you wandered together in silence, taking in the sights and sounds of the exhibition hall. The crowds around you buzzed with excitement, but the space between you and Logan felt almost separate—like the world had shrunk to just the two of you.
At one point, you stopped in front of a display showcasing early electric light bulbs. "Look at that," you said, pointing to the glass bulbs flickering with soft light. "They’re saying these will replace gas lamps soon."
Logan raised an eyebrow. "Doesn’t seem right, replacing something that’s worked for so long."
"Change is good sometimes," you said, glancing at him. "It keeps things moving forward."
Logan met your eyes, his expression soft but thoughtful. "Guess I’ve never been good with change."
You tilted your head slightly, sensing the weight behind his words. "Maybe you just haven’t found the right reason to embrace it yet."
For a moment, Logan didn’t respond. His gaze lingered on you, like he was trying to make sense of something. Then, slowly, he nodded. "Maybe."
As the afternoon wore on, the two of you eventually stepped outside the exhibition hall, the sun low in the sky and the city’s evening glow starting to take over. The air felt cooler now, a welcome relief after the warmth of the crowded hall.
You walked beside Logan in comfortable silence, but the charged undercurrent between you hadn’t faded. It felt like something had shifted—like you’d both acknowledged a deeper connection, even if neither of you had fully put it into words yet.
"You want to get something to eat?" Logan asked, breaking the silence.
"Sure," you said, smiling up at him. "There’s a place not far from here. They make the best stew."
Logan nodded, falling into step beside you again as you made your way toward the small restaurant you had in mind. The quiet between you was easy, but there was an unspoken understanding that something had changed between the two of you today. Neither of you said it out loud, but you didn’t need to.
As you entered the restaurant, the warm scent of food filled the air, and you found a table near the back, away from the main crowd. Logan took the seat across from you, his eyes scanning the room out of habit, but eventually settling back on you.
"This place isn’t so bad," he said, giving a small nod of approval.
You laughed softly. "Glad it meets your standards."
Logan smirked, but there was a softness behind it. As the two of you talked over dinner, you realized just how much you enjoyed moments like this—quiet, simple, yet meaningful. It wasn’t about grand gestures or fancy places; it was about being together, about the way Logan made you feel safe and seen.
---
One day, after inviting Logan into your apartment once again, you set out to make tea like you always do.
You felt a cough building up in your throat, so you grabbed a small handkerchief from the counter and coughed into it. You had seen the school doctor while you were at work, and he said you just had a mild cold.
Logan, who was sitting on the couch, immediately turned his head to you, his heart almost beating out of his chest. He’d heard that cough before—26 years ago.
"Y/N?" he asked, his voice low, almost hesitant.
You turned around, still holding the handkerchief to your mouth. "Yeah?" you answered casually, noticing the tension in his voice but thinking nothing of it. “Just a little cough, nothing serious. I saw the doctor earlier, and he said it’s just a cold.”
Logan stood up slowly, his eyes fixed on you, his expression unreadable. He took a step closer, his mind racing back to 1854, to your last days—bedridden and coughing, just like this. He had lost you then, watching helplessly as the illness took you. He couldn't shake the feeling, the memory, and the fear that history might repeat itself.
"Cold, huh?" he said, trying to keep his voice steady, but there was an edge to it.
"Yeah, no big deal." You smiled, folding the handkerchief and putting it back in your pocket. "Really, Logan, I’m fine."
Logan’s jaw tightened. He had seen too much, lived too long to believe in coincidence. This was too familiar, too painful. And yet, here you were—alive, vibrant. This time, he couldn’t lose you again. He wouldn't.
"You should take it easy," he said, stepping closer, his tone gentler now. "You been workin' too hard at that school."
You raised an eyebrow, sensing his concern but not quite understanding the depth of it. "I’m fine, really. It’s just a little cold. Nothing that rest and tea won’t fix."
Logan didn’t argue, but the worry in his eyes didn’t fade. He reached out, his hand hovering for a moment before he gently brushed his fingers against your arm, grounding himself in the fact that you were here, with him. This wasn’t 1854. But the memory haunted him.
You noticed the way he was looking at you, his eyes searching yours like he was afraid to lose you. "Hey," you said softly, resting a hand on his. "What’s really going on?"
Logan’s breath hitched for a moment, and he fought the urge to pull you closer, to tell you everything. But how could he? How could he explain that you’d been here before—that he’d watched you die, that he’d loved you once in another life, in another time? Instead, he just shook his head, the weight of those memories too heavy to share.
"Just... don’t push yourself too hard," he said, his voice quieter now. "I’ve seen people get worse when they don’t take care of themselves."
You nodded, though his intensity still lingered in your mind. "I promise, I’ll rest." You gave him a reassuring smile, trying to lighten the mood. "Besides, you’ll make sure I do, right?"
Logan’s lips quirked into the smallest smile, but there was still something distant in his eyes. "Yeah," he said softly. "I will."
The moment hung in the air, the unspoken weight of Logan’s past pressing down on him, though you couldn’t see it. You were the same, and yet not. The woman he had once loved and lost was standing right in front of him, alive, but without any memory of that life you’d shared.
---
You didn’t see Logan for a few days, which was unusual, ever since he started walking with you he had never missed a day.
You couldn’t help but worry a tad bit, it wasn’t like him to just not be there. Even Ida had made a few comments, including now as you sat in her apartment, just a few doors down from your own, sipping tea.
“He hasn’t been by at all?” Ida asked, her brow furrowed with concern. “That man never misses a day. He’s usually lurking outside, waitin’ to walk you home.”
You nodded, biting your lip. “Yeah, I noticed. It’s been three days now.”
Ida leaned forward, her hands folded on the table. “You don’t think somethin’s happened to him, do ya? That man is tough, sure, but even the toughest get into trouble sometimes.”
You shook your head quickly, not wanting to entertain the thought. “No, I’m sure he’s fine. Maybe he just needed some time alone. He’s... not the type to explain himself much.”
Ida hummed, though she didn’t look convinced. “Maybe. But if he doesn’t show up soon, you ought to go find him. He’s a good man, Y/N, and you’ve only known him a month, but it’s clear he cares about you.”
The truth of her words settled over you, heavy and unspoken. You cared about Logan too. Even if you didn’t quite understand the pull between you, it was there—undeniable. And the fact that he hadn’t shown up, without so much as a word, made your chest tighten with worry.
Later that evening, after you’d left Ida’s apartment and returned to your own, you couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling. Logan had become part of your routine, part of your day-to-day life. And now that he was gone, it felt like something was missing.
Just as you were about to turn in for the night, a knock sounded at the door.
Your heart jumped, and you rushed to open it, half expecting—half hoping—it would be Logan.
And there he was.
He stood in the doorway, his coat damp from the light rain outside, his hair slightly tousled. His eyes, though, were what caught you—the familiar intensity, but with something else lurking beneath. Something darker.
“Logan,” you breathed, stepping aside to let him in. “Where have you been? I was starting to get worried.”
Logan stepped into your small apartment, his broad frame somehow filling the space, making it feel even smaller. He didn’t say anything right away, just ran a hand through his hair and exhaled sharply, as if he were trying to gather his thoughts.
“I needed time,” he finally said, his voice low and gravelly.
“Time for what?” you asked gently, sensing that whatever he was about to say wasn’t easy for him.
Logan glanced at you, then looked away, as if he couldn’t meet your eyes. His jaw tightened, and you could see the struggle on his face—like he was wrestling with something deep inside. After a long pause, he spoke again, quieter this time.
“I’m scared,” he admitted, the words sounding foreign in his mouth, like he wasn’t used to saying them.
You blinked, taken aback. Logan was the last person you ever expected to hear those words from. “Scared of what?”
His eyes flickered up to meet yours, and you saw the vulnerability there, raw and unguarded. “Of losing you,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
You stared at him, your heart pounding in your chest. “Logan… we’ve only known each other for a month,” you said softly, though the words felt strange even as they left your mouth. Because deep down, it felt like you’d known him much longer—like this connection between you was more than just a month in the making.
“I know,” Logan said, his voice rough. “But it doesn’t change how I feel.”
There was something in the way he was looking at you, something desperate and pained, like he was holding onto you with everything he had. You wanted to ask him why, to understand what had happened in his past to make him feel this way. But instead, you just reached out, your hand finding his.
“I’m not going anywhere,” you said quietly, squeezing his hand gently. “I’m right here.”
Logan’s breath hitched, and before you could say anything more, he stepped closer, his hand cupping the side of your face. His thumb brushed your cheek, his touch rough but gentle, and for a moment, the world around you seemed to fall away. It was just the two of you, standing in the quiet of your apartment, the air between you thick with unspoken words.
And then, without warning, he leaned in and kissed you.
It wasn’t a gentle kiss. It was urgent, almost desperate, like he was trying to tell you everything he couldn’t put into words. His lips moved against yours with a fierceness that took your breath away, and for a moment, all you could do was hold onto him, your fingers curling into the fabric of his coat as you kissed him back.
When he finally pulled away, his forehead rested against yours, his breath warm against your skin. His hand still cupped your cheek, his thumb gently brushing along your jawline.
“I can’t lose you,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.
Your heart ached at the raw honesty in his words, and you wanted to promise him that he wouldn’t—that you were here, that you weren’t going anywhere. But something about the way he said it made you hesitate, made you wonder what he wasn’t telling you.
“Logan…” you started, your voice soft. “What aren’t you telling me?”
For a long moment, he didn’t answer. His hand dropped from your face, and he took a step back, his expression guarded once again. The walls he’d let down just moments ago seemed to be rising back up.
“I’ve lived a long time,” he said finally, his voice low. “I’ve lost people before. People I cared about. I can’t… I can’t go through that again.”
You felt a pang in your chest at his words, but there was something else there too—something unspoken. “Logan… who did you lose?”
His eyes flickered with pain, but he didn’t answer. Instead, he just shook his head, as if he couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud.
You wanted to press him, to understand, but you also knew that Logan wasn’t someone who opened up easily. So instead, you just stepped closer, wrapping your arms around him in a gentle hug. He stiffened at first, but then his arms slowly came around you, pulling you close as if he was afraid to let go.
“I’m here,” you whispered against his chest. “I’m not going anywhere.”
For now, that was all you could offer him. And for now, it seemed to be enough.
---
You and Ida sat in the back of the rattling carriage, bundled against the cold, the wheels creaking beneath the weight of your bags from the market. The late afternoon sky was heavy with clouds, promising rain before nightfall and a storm by morning.
“Supposed to come down hard tomorrow,” Ida said, clutching her shawl tighter. “Glad we got everything done now. Don’t wanna be caught in that mess.”
You smiled, shifting a bag of potatoes off your lap. “It’ll be nice to have an excuse to stay in and rest. Logan’s been after me about taking it easy anyway.”
Ida gave you a knowing look, her brow lifting. “That man likes you, Y/N. More than you think.”
You shrugged, though your cheeks warmed slightly. “I know he cares. He’s just… different. Keeps to himself.”
“He’s different, alright,” Ida muttered, peering out the carriage window. “But he’s not the type to care about someone without good reason. Don’t let that one get away.”
You didn’t respond, but your thoughts drifted to Logan—how he had kissed you that night, holding you like you were the only thing keeping him grounded. There was something ancient in his touch, like he had carried the weight of loss for far too long. You didn’t fully understand it, but you felt it—something deeper than words or time.
The carriage jolted suddenly, jerking you forward in your seat. The horse up front whinnied, wild and panicked.
“Whoa!” the driver shouted, yanking hard on the reins.
You clutched Ida’s arm, your heart racing. “What’s going on?”
The driver cursed, standing in his seat to get a better look. “The damn harness snapped! The horse—”
Before he could finish, the horse bolted, the broken leather straps slapping wildly behind it. The carriage lurched, and you and Ida were thrown sideways. The wheels screamed as they spun out of control, the driver shouting as he fought to keep it steady.
“Hold on!” he yelled.
The world tilted violently as the carriage careened off the road, slamming into a ditch. Bags spilled across the floor, and you hit your shoulder hard against the side wall. Ida’s scream filled your ears, but the noise was drowned out by the thunder of the collapsing carriage, wood splintering and wheels buckling beneath the weight.
And then—nothing.
The carriage stopped, shuddering to a halt in a twisted heap at the bottom of the ditch. The rain started, light at first, pattering against the wreckage.
---
Logan was walking back toward your tenement building, the collar of his coat turned up against the cold drizzle, when he saw it—just beyond the next block, down by the road.
The sight hit him like a punch to the chest.
A carriage, overturned, one of the wheels still spinning lazily. The horse was gone, its reins dangling uselessly from the harness. People were gathering, but no one dared approach the wreckage yet.
Logan’s heart stopped. He knew—he just knew.
His feet moved before he could think. He sprinted toward the wreck, rain falling harder now, soaking through his clothes. His boots hit the muddy road with heavy thuds, splashing water as he ran faster than any ordinary man should.
By the time he reached the scene, a bystander had climbed down, trying to pry the splintered door open. Logan shoved him aside without a word, claws itching under his skin, ready to tear the door off if need be.
“Someone’s inside!” the man stammered. “Two women—”
Logan didn’t wait. His hands found the edge of the door, and with a growl of effort, he yanked it off the hinges. Inside the crumpled interior, he saw you, half-buried beneath scattered bags.
“Y/N!” His voice cracked, raw and frantic. He dropped to his knees and pulled you free, cradling you in his arms.
You stirred, barely conscious, your head lolling against his chest. Blood streaked your temple, and your breath came in shallow gasps.
“Logan…?” you whispered, confused, your hand weakly grasping his coat.
“I got you,” Logan said, his voice breaking. “I’m here. You’re gonna be fine.” But even as he said it, dread gnawed at him—this wasn’t fine. It was happening again.
Ida groaned nearby, struggling to sit up, but Logan’s focus was locked on you. He pressed a hand against your side, where your ribs felt wrong under his touch. He could feel the heat of your blood seeping into his fingers.
“No, no, no…” Logan whispered, shaking his head. The storm raged around him, but all he could hear was the shallow rasp of your breathing.
You looked up at him, your gaze unfocused, but your lips curled into the faintest smile. “I told you… I’d rest…”
“Don’t,” Logan begged, his forehead pressing against yours. “Don’t do this. Stay with me. You hear me? Stay.”
You blinked slowly, your hand slipping from his coat. “I… tried…”
Logan clenched his jaw, biting down hard against the scream building in his chest. His healing mutation would keep him alive through anything—but it couldn’t save you. Not now. Not again.
He kissed your forehead, his breath shuddering. “I can’t lose you again, darlin’. Not like this…”
Your breath hitched once, then stopped.
“No,” Logan whispered, rocking you in his arms. “No, no, no…”
His hands trembled as he pulled you closer, your lifeless body limp against him. The rain poured down harder, drumming on the wreckage, but Logan didn’t care. He sat there, holding you, feeling the familiar, soul-crushing emptiness settle in his chest like an old wound tearing open again.
And still, he held you. Because this time, just like 26 years ago, he couldn’t let go.
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in this chapter logan is 48 years old and reader is around 22-24 years old. just a reminder that going forward there is going to be an age gap between the two since logan obviously keeps getting older.
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a41-i-finally-caved · 3 days ago
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JJ and PTSD and why 4.10 was a slap in the face
Okay. so. Here's my issue.
(there will be a ton of cursing because I'm fucking pissed.)
JJ's ENTIRE FUCKING ARC has been him feeling like he's worthless, like he's somehow inherently evil, that he "deserves" the things that happen to him, that everything's all his fault. That he should be killed saving his friends because that's all he's fucking good for.
And that? That's not a JJ-exclusive thought pattern. That's what happens to your brain when you're a CHILD and a fucking grown ass man instills that in your head. Whether physical and verbal abuse like they showed in canon, or childhood sexual abuse like what's happened to me and many, many others. An adult shows you that you're not worth shit compared to them, and since you, again, are a child, you fucking believe them. Adults teach you about the world, and kids are good fucking listeners.
So you grow up knowing down to your guts that you don't belong on this earth, you don't own your body, you don't deserve the space you take up. Any of y'all confused by JJ's bullshit?? Well there you go. That's the very basic assumption he's working off of: he's dead, been dead for years, so what the fuck's it matter what he does? It doesn't.
(I don't know how to express that screaming lack of existence to those with an inherent understanding of their own worth and right to living but the closest I can get is this. You look at yourself and understand that no matter what actions you take, you are wrong on a soul-deep level and there's nothing you can do about it.)
Here's the thing. It's all bullshit. And it takes so much fucking effort to believe that, and some days you don't but you trust that you will tomorrow or the next day or the next. That's called healing. That's called living.
Because the only way past this is time and support and fucking proving with every breath that no. Fuck you. I deserve to be here. I deserve to get old. To cry. To weep. To fucking dance on a dock because you finally made a home. That you deserve to LIVE.
And S4E10 just declared no; you don't. JJ was too damaged to give him any other ending. Even Kie couldn't fix him. The best he could hope for was dying in the dirt with someone he loved. Oh look he gave up the crown! He was happy in the end! He had his wish! He loved her!!
Yeah well sorry to bust the 'isn't it all so tragic' circle jerk, but no. It's not fucking poetic. Or beautiful. Or God-fucking-forbid romantic. It's shit.
Because JJ Maybank was never real, but they chose to highlight the very much real pain I and others struggle with using his story. And then they told me that struggle ends with death...because how else could it end?
Just because y'all can't imagine living his life and going on, and going on, and going on, and not fucking killing yourself doesn't mean the rest of us aren't looking down that path every day and deciding to break those lies in one moment of existence after another.
The showrunners missed that.
If they wanted to finish JJ's arc? It wasn't saving Kie, or finally having some 'realization', or sacrificing himself for his friends. It wasn't some short but meaningful life.
JJ needed to fucking live to prove that he deserved it. End of story.
Thanks for the slap.
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karanseraph · 2 days ago
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Allegedly, when my dad was young, my paternal grandmother told him "all men have a dark side." I think she meant well. She was born in the early 20th century, she came over frome Ireland on boat as a child. She had a stepfather who was from another immigrant community. Families were large. There was a lot of poverty and alcohol. They were Catholic, so they also took "original sin" as a concept seriously.
I think this did my dad harm. He actually is a person who struggles with empathy. Now, it's apparent he's neurodivergent from multiple traits he has and that this probably runs in the family, but no one we knew was diagnosed back then. He views criticism as personal attacks. It's difficult for him to see difference between people (like his difference) as positive of a challenge to accept and accommodate and instead thinks (in his darkest moments) that he's broken. Or that I also am someone who needs to be fixed.
But, somehow, I'm sure from conversations most of my siblings including my brothers voted blue and genuinely are able to care about others and will try to help.
And, to clarify, my dad has done volunteer work a d actually helped some people a lot. He is in no way evil. He's human. He is a product of his time. He was indoctrinated, arguably, by nuns, and Jesuits, and the Knights of Columbus, by bullies, and every bit of 1950's US government propaganda about scary different people and the importance of conforming and being "American". He says he didn't know that he was poor as a child because everyone was like that around him. He had a moment in the late 80s where he was arguably upper middle class. But he's also one of those older people now who don't really have wealth in the oldest sense but have pension/retirement tied up in stocks market scrap and keep mortgaging their house when they need cash.
Anyway, this is long.
But what I'm trying to say is people are flawed and human and make mistakes, but they aren't born or made evil or good. I think it's more harmful to say to kids that they have darkness or sin inside them from the start than to focus on choices going forward and the possibility that when one does make a mistake they can also make amends.
So, we should try to tell kids that.
Model good behavior and choices for kids as much as we can. Communicate that humans of all ages can make mistakes. Get rid of the concept of authoritarianism and infallibility in any individual or organization. Embrace differences. Talk about our feelings when we feel hurt by another's choices or actions so we can understand or compromise.
Just do our best and be excellent to each other.
And, specifically, for those boys some are worried about - I know lack of funds can impede this - but give them lots of room to play, give them books about all different people and experiences, take them on trips to see how real people do their work, let them engage with all the dramatic play props and costumes and clothes and dolls. Let them have building toys and action figures they choose. Let them use telescopes and microscopes to shift their perspective. Let them draw and paint and write. Let them compete and measure, without focusing on the win itself.
And let all kids do those things (but above posts were about boys).
And if there's a financial struggle to provide all this, try libraries or a device that can stream old episodes of Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood, or Reading Rainbow, or Sesame Street, etc.
Because, going back to my dad, he wasn't really able to model the most typical social-emotional behaviours or interactions for me, but I could see Optimus Prime or Fred Rogers interact with others.
And my brothers turned out pretty OK possibly because our dad was able to provide many books but also because he decided with my mom early on that girls could play with cars and boys could play with dolls.
And how/why he decided that when he was such a product of past generations and watches a certain news channel three or four times a day now I can't explain. But he did.
So, we know, I think, how to help kids. I worked in early childcare education for a time myself. People know how to help kids. But...there's also a struggle for any service to be profitable which means the teacher-student ratios can get stretched and that teachers can get stuck with so many assessments and standardized testing requirements that they aren't just spending time with the kids.
But we know.
And, unfortunately, there are some in the world who have differing goals. Right? Like do you want healthy men who can work together with diverse groups of people in cooperating to better the world? Or do you want obedient workers? Soldiers? Slaves?
Men themselves are not the problem. Boys aren't a problem.
It's young people growing up with divisivness and poverty and war and demand of conformity and obedience, etc.
So, probably the best we can do foe young men is to try to understand that they aren't evil by nature. Probably Patriarchy hurt them. But because of that, they don't want to admit it to themselves, because that would be weakness.
We need to keep showing them that there are places for men (again, all people need attention, but above posts were about boys and men) in the society we want.
We can say it to men we know. We can say that we really liked when they did math homework with us, or played Lego with us, or played us music we liked, or organized a tabletop game, or built us a bookcase, or cooked chicken the way we like, or taught us how to draw our eyeliner, or even expressed a desire to defend us against another man. (These are just some examples from my life, yours are likely different.)
It would be nice if we didn't also have those negative influences in the world, but we do and we can't stop them overnight or by ourselves.
So, we do our best to model and encourage the behaviours we want and to protect institutions that help like our public libraries, and to ask for policies that will (actually) improve schools.
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I couldn't have said it better myself.
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rikkiz · 3 days ago
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🧸 ;; GIRLL I LOVE YOUR BLOG SMM !! okay so imagine riki and crybaby!reader during the devils tango or something how do you spell it, like crybaby!reader is obviously crying ☹️☹️ meanwhile riki is trying to comfort her while also making them both feel good (this is like my first req 😣😣 sorry if the grammar is bad !!)
Crybaby - Nishimura Riki
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Riki held himself up on the mattress as he fucked into you, holding you close as he made sure to not go too hard or anything. Tonight wasn't about that. No matter how cliché it sounded, it was more like making love rather than simply fucking tonight.
It felt so special right now, so comfortable, so loving, so vulnerable. It was all so overwhelming and you found yourself crying. It wasn't exactly a rarity for you to cry, especially not during sex, so when Riki noticed, he wasn't exactly shocked but he had to make sure it wasn't due to something bad.
"You okay?" He huffed out, his slow and deep thrusts continuing.
You continued to cry, your tears sliding down your face, into your hair, and on the pillow. "Mm. Yeah." You managed to whine out. "Just, love you." You tell him. You didn't know how else to put it. Of course, it was much deeper than that but that was the best way you could put it right now.
"I know you do. I love you too, baby. So much." Riki said as he wiped your tears away with one hand.
You couldn't help but keep crying, feeling so in love right now it was making your heart sore. Riki looked into your eyes, his movements not faltering because he knew you both needed this right now.
Despite knowing the reasoning behind your tears, he never liked seeing you cry, even if this wasn't something new to him.
"I hate seeing you cry." He huffed out as he held you closer, burying his face in your neck, kissing the skin as he made love to you.
"I'm not sad." You managed to say.
"I know, I know." He murmured against the skin of your neck. "Still hate it." Riki simply said as his movements continued.
You couldn't bring yourself to respond as you felt yourself growing closer to your orgasm. Your moans grew higher pitched and by that and the way your body was reacting, your boyfriend knew you were getting closer to your release.
"Getting close?" He asked and all you could manage was a "Uh-huh."
It didn't take long until you were cumming all over his covered cock. He fucked you through it before cumming into his condom. He lay there afterward for a few moments as you both came down from your high. He stayed in you as he pulled back a bit to look at your face and to see that you were no longer crying.
"You okay?" He softly asked again.
"Yeah." You quietly say in response.
"Just love me so much, yeah?" He said with a smile and a teasing smile as he pinched your side.
"Yeah." You giggle a little as he tickled your side a bit before stopping.
"I love you so much too. More than you know." Riki then said before leaning down and kissing you. He loved you and your crybaby habits so much.
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A/N: Thank you! I loved this idea because oh my god, crybaby reader is so me. I hope it's okay that there wasn't a particularly sad reason why the reader was crying. I wasn't really sure what you wanted!
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greenpurplemylove · 2 days ago
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What Lovers Do (PJS)♥️
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→ masterlist.
→ pairings: non idol! situationship! jay x female! reader.
synopsis: There was only one thing left to do when two friends finally confess that they like each other after all the endless chasing about and beating around the bush. Though it wasn't like how it traditionally went, like on a bed or in a fancy hotel room. You and Jay knew it would be wasteful to go back to yours or his apartment, not when the view of the beach at 02:00 AM in the morning hits different.
→ genre: friends to lovers! smut, and fluff. -> now playing: Diet Pepsi, Addison Rae/Forrest Gump, Frank Ocean.
-> wc: 5,8k
warnings: SMUT, swearing, car sex, car sex by the beach, dom! jay x sub! slightly switch! reader, slight cockwarming, riding, unprotected sex (wrapeth t bef're thee tapeth t), creampie, fingering, mutual masturbation, mentions of skinny dipping and pet names (baby, pretty girl, darling).
-> A/N: after a season of midterms, a breakup and a series of procrastinations later, I've finally completed the last chapter. good news is y'all don't rly have to read part 1 dan part 2 (but if you want to, I'd say be my guest honestly) to understand what's going on in this story cause this is like smut with very little plot. this is my first smut ever so anyways I'm rly sorry if it isn't perfect, nonetheless I do hope y'all enjoy it though. much love, Cher🫶
♥️
Seeing two people being in denial that they’re actually obsessed with each other is frustrating.
Especially if those two people are practically close friends.
Take you and your friend, Park Jongseong, for example.
You’ve been friends with Park Jongseong since freshman year of college.
Maybe it was due to the fact that your friend groups were practically mushed together and that you’d more often than not end up in the same class he was taking.
With what originally started with strictly exchanging the notes you took during class, slowly melted away into long and deep texts, conversations, even playful arguments about each others pasts and interests.
But what he didn’t know was that you’ve always secretly admired him.
At first you didn’t want to think the admiration you had for him was romantic, but overtime it grew difficult for you to maintain a merely platonic admiration.
He was a nice guy you have to admit, and the fact that he was practically gorgeous made things all the more difficult for you in maintaining that so called ‘platonic’ gaze.
And it didn’t help with the fact that he was such a gentleman to you as well.
Always opened doors for you.
Paying extra attention towards you whenever you needed his help.
And always letting you order first whenever you needed to go somewhere for lunch in between classes.
Even offering to pay for your meals.
It was difficult. Very difficult, for you to not fall for him.
You find yourself looking at him from afar with rose tinted glasses, your day got a little brighter every time the two of you exchanged glances and smiles,
your heart would skip a beat every time his name was mentioned in any given situation,
and most importantly, you wanted to be near him all the time.
Naturally, you grew closer to him.
Overtime it felt strange, how you noticed his smile seemed to linger longer whenever he was looking in to you so deeply,
or how close your bodies were whenever you’d talk to him for an extended period of time.
The questions started to beckon in your head, was this his way of flirting with you?
And to answer that question. Yes, yes it was.
The reason being none other than because he has a crush on you. But being the outwardly cold person that he is, he didn’t wanted to admit that.
Cause there’s a small part of him that was a little scared you wouldn’t feel the same way he did.
He’d look at you from afar and a small smile would creep onto his face.
He would think about how pretty you looked on that day before he fell asleep at night.
And you’d be the first person that comes to his mind the moment he opens his eyes the next morning.
He would pay extra attention to the things you liked and didn’t like. Memorizing your favorite lunch order. Always saving a seat for you next to him.
Always saving an extra gum in his bag because he knows you’d sometimes forget to bring yours to class,
and that he knows you have this bad habit of chewing the cap of your pen in the middle of class whenever you forgot to bring in your gum.
Mind you he also initially wanted to keep things platonic in fear of ruining the bond you’ve pretty much grown into overtime, but it was hard to keep those feelings at bay when you’re always so close to him.
After a while of teasing, lingering smiles, and small flirtatious gestures. You both were still in denial if wether or not the feeling was mutual.
It wasn’t until one drunk night at Sunghoon’s house, where you basically made out and almost had sex with him on Sunghoon’s upstairs couch that made you realize that you both felt the same way about each other.
Well, knowing he didn’t push you away when you were practically sitting on his lap and guiding his hand up your shirt and all.
After that night you both knew you couldn’t just pretend that it never happened,
so, stupidly enough, the two of you kept on teasing each other for a little while.
Hinting bits and pieces of your private lives, purposefully making the other jealous in hopes that the other would confess first because the both of you were stubborn as hell about your feelings.
When the both of you know fully well, you would be down to fuck from dusk to dawn.
It felt like playing a chess game with Jay during those times.
A romantic, for the most parts sexual tension filled game of chess with Jay.
And yet all the games, all the strategies, plans and moves you had all up in your head with Jay has led you here.
Half naked on his lap in his car by the beach at 2 AM, with his lips messily clinging to yours.
Both of your cheeks flushed. Breaths heavy as the windows started to fog. With his hands fondling with your bare breasts.
Your arms clinging onto his shoulders for dear life as your both tongue deep into the kiss.
You both knew at one point it’ll all lead up to this.
But that never stopped either one of you from pushing the boundaries of your ‘friendship’ more and more.
From the longing stares and touches across the hallways to the private moments that had you on the edge of your seat.
All of those moments has led you here, with your body sensually placed on top of his.
“Jay.” you moaned his name softly when you felt his thumb swiping against your hardened nipples as he trailed kisses from your jaw before nipping the back of your ear.
He felt his pants getting tighter by the minute, his dick growing hard at the sound of you moaning his name.
His hands traveled lower and lower down your pants as his palms settled on your ass making you gasp silently, while his mouth travelled down to your neck.
Kissing and sucking on it feverishly as if he was pouring all of his pent up desire to you after all this time.
“So pretty for me y/n.” he whispered against your neck, leaving a light trail of hickeys down your neck as your fingers caressed the back of his hair before trailing to the hem of his shirt.
Sneakily putting your fingers below the hem just to feel his bare skin against the palm of your hand.
You could feel his lips curl into a smirk against your neck as he pulled away, a playful smirk plastered onto his face as he sat up straight.
His hands trailed down to the bottom hem of his shirt but not before your hands replaced what was supposed to be his.
He looked at you surprised by your boldness as you took of his shirt, the muscles on his chest and arms contorting as you did,
feeling the tent that was forming in your panties grow wetter as you discarded his shirt to the side.
The sound of the ocean behind you long blurred into the background as he smiled up at you, caressing your thighs as he watched your every move.
Leaning back onto the chair behind him, your fingers caressed the abdomen of his chest,
feeling his chest rising and falling as his honey like skin emitted an inviting glow under the moonlight.
Your finger trailed lower and lower, from his toned stomach to the buckle of his belt,
lacing your fingers on to it.
You wanted to remove his belt from his pants, that was until his hand held yours, stopping you from going any further.
“I think I can handle that y/n.” he spoke in a sultry tone as he eyed your fingers, caressing them gently before undoing his belt.
Your hands then trailed slowly from the fabric under his belt, to the fabric that covered his prominent bulge.
Purposefully teasing him as you traced your fingers around his bulge.
His breath hitched in his throat as he leaned his head back and sighed, feeling your fingertips undressing his pants.
“I thought couples help take their partners clothes off when they’re gonna have sex?” you murmured as you flashed him a smirk.
“Oh, so we’re a couple now?” he teased, grinning at you flirtatiously.
You sighed in disbelief as you rolled your eyes.
You knew he was the type of person who’d tease from time to time, but you never thought he’d tease you at a time where you were completely vulnerable to him.
“Are you really gonna tease me at a time like this?” you whispered as your lips curl into a small sly smile while your fingers caressed his hair.
He smiled at you before he sat up straight, cupping your cheeks as he captured your lips in his.
Passion surging over you as your hands wrapped around his neck, taking his lips in deeper.
His hands soon trailed down from your body to your hips, giving it a firm squeeze before trailing his fingers to the button of your pants,
unbuttoning it and gently, stripping it off of your body as your purple lacy underwear came into view.
Pulling away from your lips, his eyes soon caught the attention of your undergarments,
pupils dilating as his fingers traced the hem of it, groaning as his eyes rolled back as your hips came down to grind on his clothed cock.
Purple. His favorite color.
Whether you intentionally wore it for him or out of pure coincidence, it made him incredibly harder than he already was before.
So hard that his pants felt uncomfortable against his now fully hardened cock.
But he knew better than to rush this moment like a casual hook up.
This was his crush. The women he’d fawn over since freshman year.
His close friend. Y/N.
He knew what you like and what you didn’t like from the back of his head,
from all the times you’ve told him stories about your casual hook ups every now and then.
He’d be lying to himself if he said he didn’t go home most nights feeling jealous of how other guys could touch you so undeservingly,
at other nights he spent dreaming of how much he could fuck you better than any other guy,
and at some nights the jealousy and all the pent up feelings he had for you brewed to such intensity that he had no other option than to fist his cock in the shower,
thinking about fucking you all to himself.
And here you finally were, on top of him; your hands gripping onto his shoulders, your cheeks flushed as you turned away rather shyly,
your bare breasts all in display for him and your soaked pussy just inches away from his clothed cock.
All for himself.
It was like a wet dream come true to him.
Lust dipped into his pupils as he caressed the band of your panties,
staring in awe at the lacy fabric at hand before setting the band aside, revealing your already drenched cunt.
He groaned at the sight of it. Wanting nothing more than to stuff your pussy full of his cock.
Feeling his dick twitch uncomfortably in his slacks, he lifted his hips as he stripped down his trousers,
feeling himself grow impatient at the sight of your slick glisten, barely an inch from his thighs.
Leaving his pants bare on the floor of his backseat before dipping his fingers in between your drenched folds.
You sighed and bit your lip as a response. Turning away rather shyly.
His fingers soon laced on to your chin, forcing you to look at him.
It felt like time had slowed as he looked at you, his mouth opened, his lips puffy, and his gaze intense as he eyed you lustfully.
He had wanted, yearned for you even for so long, and now you were finally his.
There was nothing more he could’ve asked for in this moment.
He eyed your expression as he continued rubbing your folds, eyes closed and lips swollen from all the kissing and bitting,
he gradually slid his middle finger in back and forth, but not enough to satisfy how much you wanted him to touch you.
“Jay, please,” you exhaled as you eyed the motion of his fingers, holding onto the back of the front seat for support.
He caressed you so sensually, feeling the pleasure surging at the pit of your stomach,
it drove you almost insane on top of him. “don’t tease me.”
“I won’t baby.” he cooed as his other fingers moved from your chin to your hips,
his thumb rubbing circles on your clit as your mouth opened in pleasure.
The new nickname felt foreign to your ears, but nonetheless it made your pussy throb just for him.
“Jay,” you moaned lowly, gripping onto his arm.
Dipping his finger into you, you rolled your eyes back and bit your bottom lip, gently tugging on his hair,
feeling yourself melting into his touch as your hips thrusted slowly, almost in sync with the movement of his fingers.
He sighed, leaning his head back against the seat as his eyes rolled to the back of his head, feeling his cock twitch at the sight.
His fingers went in and out deep inside you, curling at you in all the right spots as the band of your panties grew wet from your slick cascading down his fingers.
Your face flushed, hips circling his fingers like a pretty doll as he looked at how drenched his finger were from slipping in and out of your walls.
He smirked up at you, enjoy seeing his effect on you.
It made him feel in control and powerful, subtly feeding his ego,
taking pride in how easy it was to have you squirming around his fingers.
Lifting his back towards you, pressing your lips onto his into a clingy hot mess of a kiss.
Slipping another finger inside of you, you moaned into the kiss as he used it as an opportunity to slip his tongue inside of your mouth, never giving you a moments rest.
Feeling your hardened nipples softly grazing against his collarbones, he groaned into the kiss adding to the sensation as your hips moved clockwise against his thumb on your clit.
Kissing you oh so passionately, you tugged on his hair before pulling away from your lips, a string of saliva connecting your tongues.
You were rilled up, your soft messy thrust turned precise and angled, almost as if you were waiting for the right moment to return the favor.
And you did so, as you laced your fingers onto the band of his boxers before beckoning him to lift his hips.
He raised an eyebrow at you as the tips of his lips curled, eyeing you curiously as he removed his fingers from your throbbing cunt making you whine silently,
missing the feeling of his fingers around you already as he gripped your waist.
Lifting his hips, he lets you slip your fingers onto the band of his boxers before pulling them down,
just enough to let his hardened cock sprung free from constraint.
Your eyes trailed from tip to the base of his cock, eyes dazed and mouth dry.
The mushroom tip of his dick flushed. A single thick vein trickled down from the bridge to the base of his cock.
He was definitely big.
Not the biggest you’ve ever seen, but he was definitely big enough to have your stomach doing backflips.
All the excitement and nervous tension trickled down onto your cunt, feeling the throbbing sensation swell as you held your breath in for a moment.
Licking your lips at the sight of it, you continued to strip down his pants until they were well past his ankles as he threw them off to the side.
“Like what you see?” he smirked up at you as he firmly held your waist.
“Don’t get cocky Jongseong.” you teased back, a smile creeped onto your face as you leaned closer to him before capturing your lips onto his.
He gripped your hair gently as he leaned your head to the side, deepening the kiss.
Your hands were all over his body, caressing his toned chest and washboard abs as your fingers trailed lower and lower while he sneaks his tongue back into your mouth,
letting out a groan as your thumb caressed dangerously close to the base of his cock.
The kiss soon grew rough and passionate as your tongues intertwined, his shaft grazing against your clit,
pulsating into a frenzy as his hands groped your ass, kneading them roughly all the while his nails were digging into your skin, making your breath hitch at your throat.
“Y/n.” he moaned out as he pulled away from you, feeling the pleasure coursing through out his body.
Rolling his eyes and throwing his head back onto the seat as he watched you, grinding your soaked folds onto his length.
His tip grew red as precum started to leak from his shaft.
“Shit.” he cursed lowly to himself as he eyed the sight in front of him hungrily.
The view in front of him was better than any wet dream he’s ever had of you.
Your fingers pressed against his cock as you grinded your folds against his dick.
Your slick wetting the bridge of his cock as you grind on him up and down, your other hand gripping onto his thigh for dear life as you balanced yourself on top of him.
You were insatiable.
He knew sex wasn’t a new thing for you, but never in his wildest dreams he’d see you like this with his own eyes.
A flushed mess, eyes closed, your bottom lip tucked as you held back your moans while you grind your folds against his cock,
holding yourself back from sinking fully onto his dick when he knows you so desperately want to.
So sweet yet so sinful, your moans and movements were a lingering sugar like addiction to him as he watches you slowly lose yourself on his cock.
And he hasn’t even put his dick inside you yet.
“Tell me what you want.” he whispered as his nails dug into your waist, hands moving in sync with the movement of your hips, guiding it gently as you swayed your hips in a rhythmic pace against his cock.
Your vision grew hazy as you looked at him, blinking once as your eyes were instantly set on his,
his gaze spilling with lust and desire as he looked at you through his hooded eyelids, face flushed,
his lips pink and plump as they formed an ‘o’ shape, exhaling breathlessly as he eyed you so intensely.
His fingers soon replaced yours, holding back his length against your pussy,
watching you soak the bridge of his cock with your throbbing cunt.
You couldn’t take the teasing you inflicted on him anymore, you wanted him inside of you.
You wanted, needed to feel his dick pulsating inside of you.
You needed him.
“Jongseong, please, I wanna ride your dick.” you whined breathlessly as you continued to grind on him, knowing you still wanted to be good for him despite your desperation.
He cursed at himself, your words stripped him bare into utter desire as his fingers laced on to the band of your panties,
stripping them off your body before shoving them to the side as every patience he had in his body melted away into only anticipation, lust and desire.
“Ride me then y/n,” he spoke in a sultry tone as he looked at you through his half lidded eyes, while his hand grasped onto the base of his shaft,
angling his tip onto your entrance, “I’m all yours.”
Goosebumps erupt in your skin as he spoke those words, electrifying the feeling in your stomach as you positioned his tip at your entrance,
lifting your hips, you planted your forehead against his as you slowly started sinking down onto his cock.
Your eyes screwed shut and your mouth hung loose at the sensation as he did the same.
It was right then and there you realized that you’ve underestimated how big he was from the outside as his cock filled you to the brim of your walls.
Stretching you out oh so heavenly as he caressed the sides of your body as an attempt to sooth you while you adjusted yourself to his length.
“Shit.” you cursed as your eyes rolled back and nails dug onto his back.
“Holy fuck, you’re taking me so good y/n.” he spoke as his hands trailed down onto your waist, eyes rolling back and mouth opened the moment you started circling your hips around his dick.
Heavy breaths and strings of moans fogged the windows as you started to slowly bounce on his cock.
His dick filling you up to the brim every time you sank down fully onto him.
The way he was stretching you out felt so heavenly, you wanted more of it. You wanted more of him.
“Shit you’re big.” you whispered in between your moans as you buried your face on the crook of his neck.
The complement fueled his ego as he smirked with pride before being cut short as he groaned, feeling you starting to clamp down on his dick.
The hands that was once your waist, trailed down onto your ass as he gripped them gently making you let out a loud moan,
as his hands started to match with the rhythm of your hips.
His cock twitched at the feeling of your drenched velvety walls soaking his dick. Feeling your slick dripping down his balls.
“Holy shit Jay fuck.” you leaned your head back as your eyes rolled back,
His head dipped down at the sight of your pussy sinking down onto his dick as you lifted your hips,
revealing the sight of his drenched cock before taking him in you again rather eagerly.
“Shit, you feel so fucking good.” he groaned as he fondled with your ass making you moan his name as you continued taking in his dick like it was your last.
Where have you been all his life?
How could he have been stupid enough to not confess his feelings sooner?
A little part of him can only swirl in regret as he watches you bounce on his cock. Flushed. Dazed. And fueled with lust.
Wishing he could’ve pursued you sooner, knowing how good your slick walls felt wrapped around his dick.
“Look at me.” he whispered as you wince onto his shoulders from the overwhelming feeling of his dick stretching your walls,
picking up your pace as you moaned his name making him sigh as he relished himself on the overwhelming pleasure.
He cursed to himself before gently cupping his hand onto your cheek, forcing you to look at him.
“Look at me y/n.” he whispered a little louder as you looked at his hooded eyes.
Holy fuck he’s never looked so hot.
The strands of his hair laced with sweat as his eyes pierced through them like a knife through a curtain, looking into you like you were his favorite pornstar.
His mouth forming an ‘o’ shape as groans, murmurs and profanities slipped pass his lips as you were bouncing on his dick like there was no tomorrow.
He leaned his head back against the seat, bitting his lips as he feels your slick dripping down his balls.
The occasional ‘fuck’s and ‘holy shit’s slipped pass your lips as you rolled your eyes back, head leaned back while your palms were pressed against his toned chest.
The feeling of his length filling you in and out hits you like a tidal wave as you feel the knot in your stomach tighten.
His hands moved to caress the sides of your body, eyeing you lustfully. “So pretty for me,”
“so fucking pretty for me.” he groaned as he fondled your breasts making you moan his name rather loudly at the already overwhelming pleasure.
Your walls clenched around him as your thrusts started to fall out of rhythm, turning sloppier by the second as your sigh and moans grew heavier.
“Tired y/n?” he asked as he cupped your cheek, receiving a weak nod from you as you bit your lip.
“That’s alright baby, I’ll take it from here.” he spoke softly as his fingers trailed to your hips, guiding you to spread your legs a little wider across the seat as you leaned forward,
feeling your chest pressed against his and his lips lingering over your ear, he started kissing and sucking on your neck,
making you close your eyes in pleasure as you succumb to the feeling of his tongue lapping against your neck.
A string of moans and profanities lingered from your lips as you felt him thrusting upwards into your pussy in a slow rhythmic pace.
You feel the air around you grew impossibly thicker as you breathed heavily.
His name slipped from your lips like a mantra, feeling his cock graze near your spot as he place open-mouth kisses against your collarbone and your fingers gripped onto his shoulders for dear life as the sound of the ocean waves creeped onto the back of your ear.
You let out a loud moan as you felt his thrusts grazed onto your spot, your hand that was on his shoulder slitted upwards onto his scalp, tugging on his hair gently as he moaned your name.
“Fuck, Jay, right there.” you moaned quietly into his ear as a small smirk creeped onto his face.
“Right there huh?” he spoke lowly in a playful, almost teasing tone. Gripping onto your hips so tightly as he thrusted onto your spot repeatedly making you cling onto his shoulder,
whimpers and loud moans of his name being the only thing leaving your lips as you no longer cared about the world outside of his car.
Though it was unlikely at this hour, if someone were to catch a glimpse of his car, they would’ve caught on to what was going on inside pretty quickly.
The car was shaking, it was almost in the middle of nowhere and the windows were fogged from the inside shut, covering the both of you from sight.
Though the both of you didn’t seem to care anyways. Too lost in each others presence to care about the world moving along outside of your own.
You nodded as you bit your lip, earning a groan from him as he leaned his head back onto the seat, fondling your ass as profanities slipped pass your lips.
“Shit, Jay!” you cursed as his thrusts grew rougher, hitting your spot over and over again, feeling the knot in your stomach grew impossibly tighter as he fucked you harder.
“Fuck y/n, you feel so good.” he moaned, feeling his grip on your hips tighten as you were certain that there would be bruises afterwards.
“Fuck, Jay.” you repeated his name as your nails tugged onto the blades of his shoulders. Feeling yourself growing closer to your high.
His sharp gaze pierced through the strands of his hair as his mouth hung opened and his eyebrows furrowed, completely lost in the feeling of chasing his own high.
“Tell me what you want.” he groaned lowly as his lips ghosted over your ear. The tone of his voice grew desperate and needy, almost whiny as he felt himself inching closer to his orgasm.
His words were only met with your moans and whines as he felt himself left unsatisfied.
You gasped as you felt his hand suddenly coming down onto your ass rather harshly, feeling your slick drip further down the base of his cock as a result.
“I said, tell me.” he reprimanded as his hand came down onto your ass again, but this time in between his sentences.
You feel yourself becoming flustered at his words, almost too shy to answer his lewd request.
It wasn’t until you felt his dick completely leaving your cunt that made you widen your eyes.
Whining at the loss of your orgasm.
All of a sudden, his lips latched onto your neck as he started sucking and bitting rather harshly making you let out a whine.
“Jay, don’t-” you whined as you tried to position his cock at your entrance, until his hands gripped your hips, completely halting you from reaching your high.
“I’m not letting you,” he whispered in your ear as he licked a stripe up your neck making you let out a moan. “if you don’t tell me what you want.”
At this point you were desperate. Almost too desperate to reach your high. You were willing to do whatever he wanted, just so that you can cum on his dick.
“Shit, I want you Jay.” you whispered as you caressed his toned abs, resulting in him letting out a groan.
You let out a whine as you felt his thumb caressing your slit, fueling the knot in your stomach that was bound to snap at any given moment.
“Please, wanna cum on your dick.” you practically begged, succumbing yourself to his touch.
A smirk plastered on his face as he looked up at you from your neck before positioning his cock at your entrance.
A moan left your lips as you felt his hands guiding your hips to bounce on his cock.
“Tell me again y/n, what do you want?” he asked as you moaned out his name, feeling his cock thrusting into you deeper as he synced his thrusts with your bounces.
Circling your clit faster, hitting your spot rougher and deeper, that you can only moan out in pleasure and desperation.
“Wanna cum, fuck, wanna cum on your dick Jay, please.” you whined as your high came closer and closer with each given thrust and bounce of your hips.
You yelped as his thrust grew faster, animalistic almost. His eyebrows knitted in concentration as his mouth hung opened and his eyes closed shut,
too focused on getting you to cum, too focused on the feeling of how good your pussy was clenching around his dick.
“Shit Jay, gonna cum, wanna cum on your dick.” so close, you felt so close to reaching your high as the knot in your stomach was bound to snap at any moment.
“Cum for me, cum for me y/n.” his words were your undoing. Your mouth hung opened as you feel your orgasm hitting you like a tidal wave of pleasure.
Your head leaned back as you moaned out his name, back arching at the intensity of the feeling as your bounces grew sloppier and sloppier.
He sighed as he pulled himself out of you before pumping his dick in front of you, trying to reach his own orgasm.
You didn’t know what came over you as you’re hand swiped across the foggy glass before pinning both of his arms behind his head,
leaving him to look at you speechless as one of your hands trailed down onto his cock and you positioned him on top of your entrance.
”Fuck y/n, what are you doing?” he asked as he looked at you bewildered, you bend down onto his ear as you whispered to him sensually.
“Want you to cum inside me.” he can only moan at your words as his chest breathed heavily. He smiled tiredly as he looked at you.
This was definitely better than any wet dream he’s ever had of you.
"Shit y/n are you sure?" he asked as he raised his eyebrows at you, his eyes widening, second guessing your actions.
"I don't want you to feel like I'm forcing you to do any-" his words were then cut off by your lips as you closed the distance between your lips and his in abandon.
"I want you to." you spoke as you pulled away, smiling softly at him making him sigh, a grin plastered on to his face.
“Go on then, don't let me stop you any longer.” he spoke softly as he moaned, eyes rolling back as he feels you sinking down onto him once more.
Your hand was still pinning his hands down as you started bouncing on his dick faster as he relished on the feeling of your pussy clenching on his dick.
“Oh fuck y/n I’m gonna cum.” he moaned out as his eyebrows furrowed. “Fuck wanna paint your fucking insides so fucking bad.”
You felt so fucking incredible around him. Clenching around him in all the right places with his dick buried into your hilt.
His eyebrows knitted at the sensation. Already so close to his edge.
The feeling of you alone could make him cum.
“Cum in me then, give it to me.” The way you were already pinning him down and the way you were riding him so good was enough to make him oh so close to reaching his high,
but your words sent him over the edge as his back arched and his thrusts met your bounces.
You moaned his name rather loudly as you felt his cum filing up your pussy.
A string of curses and moans followed as you both rode out his high.
The thrusts that were once harsh and rough, soon turned sloppy as you felt his cum painting your walls.
“Shit.” you cursed as you breathed heavily, finally spent.
You settled on his lap for a moment before slipping yourself out of him, his arms guiding you to lay on top of him comfortably.
Your heavy breathes mingled with each other as he snook a glance at your cunt. You sighed as he guided you to lean back, exposing your pussy to him.
“Fuck.” he cursed as he saw a bit of his cum oozing out of you.
Using his thumb he pushed back the cum back into you, a small sigh left your lips as he did so.
“Wouldn’t want that to go to waste.” he spoke as he smiled at you. You smiled back at him as the both of you started to chuckle at your disheveled states.
“You look handsome.” you spoke as you pushed some of the strands of hair on his forehead, before cupping his cheeks as he chuckled,
the blush on his face prominent as ever post-sex.
“You look beautiful y/n.” he smiled as he hugged your waist earning a giggle from you, before taking your lips in his as the kiss soon melted into passion.
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greengoblinswifey · 4 hours ago
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Trust— Rafe Cameron x Pogue!Reader
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summary— based on season 4 episode 9, slight spoilers. rafe is convinced he can help you relax, take your mind off the drama on the ship and make you trust him.
warnings— manipulation, oral, praise kink, degrading kink, bondage, unprotected sex, creampie, breeding kink.
Rafe looked up as you entered the small, cramped bathroom, his blue eyes narrowing before softening a bit as he registered your expression. “Come to check on me again?” he drawled, his voice low and rough after days of confinement. Despite his irritation, there was a hint of something else in his tone, something that felt almost, relieved.
“Yeah,” you replied, sighing as you slid down to sit on the floor next to him, finally giving yourself a break from the chaos upstairs. “I needed to get away from everything. JJ's out of control, everyone’s on edge, and it’s just—it's all a lot.”
Rafe raised an eyebrow, shifting a bit to get more comfortable despite his tied-up position. “Sounds like a mess,” he said, a glint in his eyes. “But not surprising. I’d be losing it, too, if I were up there. Though, you don’t seem the type to lose it.”
You exhaled, glancing away. “I don’t know, sometimes I think I'm just about at my limit. It feels like I’m the only one who, I don’t know, tries to keep it all together by being civil.”
Rafe smirked slightly, his gaze unwavering. “You don’t have to, you know. Keep it together all the time,” he murmured, his voice taking on an edge. “Sometimes, you just need to let off some steam.” His voice dropped, a bit huskier. “Maybe even relax a little.” His eyes locked onto yours, and you felt your pulse quicken.
You frowned, glancing at his wrists, still bound. “Rafe…”
“Come on,” he coaxed, his tone almost too smooth. “Untie me. I’m not going to hurt you.” He held your gaze with an intensity that made you falter. “Let me help you relax.”
Hesitating, you chewed on your lip. There was something, different about him right now, and you couldn’t quite pin point it. But, against your better judgment, you reached forward and undid the ropes around his wrists, slowly freeing him.
Before you could process what was happening, his hands were on you, and he pulled you in close, pressing his lips to yours. The kiss was both rough and gentle, catching you completely off-guard. You melted into it, the tension you’d been carrying washing away under his touch. Your mind went blank, and you felt yourself leaning in closer, craving the connection.
“You’re so needy,” he murmured against your lips, “So naughty for letting me loose like this.”
Flustered, you pulled back slightly, breathless. “Rafe…”
He only smirked, his fingers trailing along your jaw. “It’s alright,” he whispered, holding your gaze with a soft, challenging glint. “Now that I’m out, maybe I can return the favor and help you feel a little better.”
You slowly nodded. You couldn’t deny the way he was making you feel.
Rafe’s hands moved slowly over your bare stomach, his fingers tracing delicate patterns across your skin, sending shivers up your spine. His gaze flicked up to meet yours, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “So responsive,” he murmured, watching your breath hitch as his hands continued their slow exploration.
Your cheeks warmed under his gaze, feeling vulnerable but completely unable to pull away. Rafe’s fingers hooked under the waistband of your skirt, and with a quiet confidence, he slipped it and your thong off, leaving you feeling even more exposed. He let out a quiet chuckle, his hands never leaving your skin.
When he pulled off his own shirt, his eyes never left yours, and then he moved closer, his presence between your legs grounding you in the moment. “Trust me,” he whispered, voice low as he leaned in, and before you could fully process the warmth of his breath, he began to press soft, deliberate kisses along your inner thigh, drawing a gasp from you.
“You’re so—” you managed, words slipping away as he looked up at you with that familiar smirk, his gaze unrelenting.
“So what?” he teased, “I haven’t even started.”
Your breath grew shallow, anticipation building as his hands traced along your hips, grounding you in a way you hadn’t expected.
His mouth attached to your clit and it sent a spark through you, his touch patient yet undeniably intent, and you couldn’t help but give in to the sensation, letting yourself relax under his steady hands. His tongue was precise, lapping up every part of your pussy that was soaked with your juices.
“Don’t hold back now,” he murmured. His constant sucking and flicking over your clit made your orgasm wash over you, leaving you completely captivated, and all you could do was let yourself melt into the moment, trusting him entirely.
“I’d say you were my good girl and you are but fuck, you’re such a slut just letting me make you cum like this, I thought you and your friends didn’t trust me?” he chuckled, sitting up til he was beside you. You buried your face into his chest, embarrassed that he was right.
“Oh that’s okay baby, don’t be embarrassed,” he laughed, “you know what would make it all better? Me doing to you what they did to me.”
Your head shot up, confusion etched across your face.
“Not like that baby, you’d be willing wouldn’t you? Would you let me tie you up and use you? Gonna be a good girl for me?” he asked huskily.
Slowly, you nodded. You couldn’t deny his words made you throb. You’d let this man do anything to you. He smirked at your obedience and took up the rope, beginning to tie you in the same position he was before. The rope was tied firmly, but not firm enough to hurt or bruise you.
“Is that okay baby? You like being all tied up for me?”
“Y-yes Rafe,” you muttered, eyes big and full of need.
He slipped down his boxers and your eyes went wider, gasping at the size of him. He was so thick and leaking for you. You needed a taste.
“Open up that whore mouth,” he growled.
Immediately, you did what was told and he shoved his cock straight to the back of your throat making you gag.
“Breathe baby, breathe, I know you can take it, you seem like you’d be such a good cock sucker.”
You wanted to prove him right, you wanted to be exactly what he thought of you. As he slowly thrusted into your mouth, your tongue went to work, swirling over the base and the tip, getting it as sloppy as you could. He moaned deeply above you, as his thrusts grew faster, your lips suctioned around him, making the sweetest little sounds.
You would’ve played with his balls if your hands weren’t tied and so, you leaned your head down, slurping and sucking on his balls as he threw his head back and shivered.
“Fuck, I knew you could do it, I knew you were a little whore, what a fucking mouth.” He slipped back into your mouth, his hands now going to your curls as he held you down on his cock, but before he could shoot his load down your throat, he pulled out.
“I know you’d swallow every last drop of my cum like the whore you are but I’d rather your pussy swallow it,” he chucked.
Heat rose in your cheeks as you thought about him filling you up. You weren’t on any form of birth control and you knew for a fact him or anyone on the ship did not have a condom in their possession. He’d definitely get you pregnant, just like his sister was at the moment. Ironic.
“Now, I have an idea.” You looked up at him curiously then gasped as he lifted your lower body, your hands in a slight awkward position as he held you up to fuck you mid air.
“Think you can take it— oh who am I kidding, you’re going to fucking take it,” he muttered, rubbing the leaking tip of his cock up and down your pussy lips.
“Your pussy is so wet and pretty, so happy you just gave it up to me.” You both moaned in unison as his cock slowly penetrated you. In that moment you partially wished your hands weren’t tied so you could’ve placed it on his abdomen, halting him from any further movements.
“You’re so fucking tight,” he moaned. Your eyes squeezed shut as he began pounding into you, your tits spilling out of the skimpy top you had on. His cock was deep inside you due to the angle, the feeling making your pussy quiver.
“Who’s making you feel this good huh?” he asked, his hands squeezing your hips harshly.
“You are Rafe, you,” you cried out. Your friends had definitely heard your screams.
“Good girl, trust me now?” he chuckled, breathlessly.
“Yes Rafe, I trust you. Faster, please,” you pleaded.
His rough thrusts sped up and the sound of your sloppy pussy and your loud moans filled the bathroom, possibly alerting your friends above.
“I need to feel you cum on my cock baby, you can do it,” he urged.
He went faster and deeper, hitting that spongy spot inside you to draw the orgasm out. Before long, you screamed his name, your pussy squirting all over the bathroom walls as he continued fucking you through your high, pulling everything out of you.
“You’re so fucking hot, good girl,” he cooed.
He began chasing his own orgasm, his hand wrapping around your neck and his other skillfully holding under you as his thrusts grew more sloppy.
“Clench around me baby, I’m gonna pump this sweet pussy full of my cum. Gonna get you fucking pregnant, have you carry my babies inside this sexy body.”
You couldn’t protest even if you wanted to and your walls clamped around him, milking him of every ounce of his cum as he slammed into you. His thrusts grew slower and slower and he held you with one hand, the other unbinding your hands and when he did, he held you close to him, his cock still deep inside your pussy.
You both shivered under each other’s touch, panting slowly subsiding.
You shifted off him, the feeling of his big cock slipping out of you making you wince and whimper at the loss and you sat beside him.
“You look so beautiful and relaxed,” he smirked, pushing your curls behind your ear.
“Well you were right, you could help me relax,” you giggled.
“I’m always right. I meant what I said by the way, you’re gonna carry my babies inside that sexy fucking body,” he smirked, rubbing your stomach.
Before you could respond, there was a pounding on the door, it was your best friend.
“Y/N, what’s all that noise? What’s going on in there?” Cleo called out.
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dizzibell · 2 days ago
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right, okay. it's the people who didn't vote, and not the people who Did vote for trump alongside every corrupt politician who's propped him up for their own slice of the despotic pie throughout the past decade. the people actually doing harm are incidental when compared to those who did not step in to prevent it. because you can't scold republicans into acting right, but you might be able to guilt some tumblr users into accepting personal responsibility for how badly this is going to affect you, and that feels powerful in a moment of utter hopelessness.
i'm afraid this is not a unique experience you're having. i would strongly advise taking time away from the internet and spending time with the people you care about, as well as setting up a therapy appointment ASAP. this isn't condescension, this is a genuine recommendation from someone who also felt like you do after my first election in 2016.
The "if you voted for Trump unfollow me" posts are returning, but given then general makeup of your average tumblr user I think there's a different message I'd like to give.
If you didn't vote because "both parties are the same" or "it won't make a difference" or because Kamala wasn't the pure and perfect leader that you wanted or you "didn't want blood on your hands", honestly whether or not you follow me doesn't make a damned bit of difference. But I want you to look. Take a good look at the despair around you right now. And every godforsaken thing that follows I want you to fucking look. Look and know that you could have helped prevent it. We still haven't recovered from his last four years, the world hasn't fucking recovered, and now we're staring down the barrel of god knows how many more years and a river of fucking blood to come along with it.
But your pride and your principles were more important to you than the actual real fucking world we live in.
I hope, if nothing else, that you can take this in. I hope you learn. I hope you grow. I hope you find it in you to realize that in this country they soak our hands in blood the second we take our first breath and the only thing that matters then is what you fucking do with them. What you fight for. Who you fight for. Who you defend.
I hope you wake up. And you step up. And you fucking fight.
But until then. Don't you fucking dare look away.
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quantum1mmortality · 1 day ago
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Rubatosis;
The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat
•Captain Curly x reader
Chat bare with me I'm trying out a new aesthetic because I'm sick and tired of my blog being UGLY and CHAOTIC so I'm using dividers and sticking to a color scheme for the first time don't judge me pls
Summary; Winter storm, blackout, no heater; the worst things that could've happened on your only weekend off. Luckily, your boyfriend Curly knows how to keep you warm.
Tw/cw; Afab!reader, pre established relationships (you guys are dating), cursing, the word 'radiate" is used like 20 times don't mind that chat, no use of y/n just curly calling you various pet names, no prep like at all(slight fingering????), curly whimpers, the smut is actually really unnecessary but ignore that too, piv, pwp??, unsafe sex, cumming INSIDE!!!, praise kink, curly talks you through it (I think)
Not proofread
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You curl up with as many blankets as you can, shivering and watching your breath become visible from the cold. You can feel your body go numb as all you can do is wait for your power to come back on. It's been out for the past hour, and with the awful snow storm that just rolled through your town, you can tell it isn't coming back on anyime soon.
Sounds come from outside your window, sounds that you can barely hear over the cold chattering of your teeth. A car parking in your driveway, a car door opening and closing, and heavy feet making their way to your front door, shaking the doorknob while trying to open it.
The door creeks open, followed by the sound of heavy winds. You can hear footsteps walk into your house, closing the door, and walking towards the bedroom you now reside in.
"Sorry about the wait, love. I tried to leave work as soon as I heard about the power outage, but thought it would be best to stop somewhere to get some things to warm you up." It was your boyfriend, Curly, who you had no idea was coming over. Yet here you are, shaking in a cold bed as he roots through the bags he brought with him.
As he digs through the bags, seemingly looking for something specific, he throws miscellaneous items on your bed. Chocolates, a candle, a box of matches, more chocolates, and a bottle of wine. "Since we're basically trapped in here till the storm is over, I thought we could make the most of it. Have a romantic weekend or something.. I tried getting things I knew you'd like."
Just then, he finds what he was looking for; hand warmers. Ripping open the packaging, he walks to your side of the bed, handing you all that was in the box. The heat radiating from them was almost hurting you, but burning doesn't feel so bad when you're freezing.
Curly leaves the room for a moment, coming back with two wine glasses in hand; placing them on your bedside table. He takes off his work uniform, leaving him in only an undershirt and pants. You hold out your arms to him, signalling that you want him to be in bed with you. He smiles, lifting up the blankets and laying next to you.
You shiver, feeling his warm hands touch your cold body. "Poor thing.. I wish I could've been here sooner, maybe prevent you from getting to this state." He says softly, kissing your forehead as he raps his arms around your waist, pulling you into his chest.
"I'm glad you're here.." you say, dozing off. The warmth Curly radiates was more than enough to make your body become less tense. Your hands make their way to his chest, pressing gently as you bury your head in the crook of his neck.
"I know you are, love, and I'm glad to be here, too." He whispered softly, hands traveling from your waist to your hips. He lifts your shirt up slightly, moving his fingertips to your now exposed skin. "Fuck, you're freezing." You could hear the concern in his voice, switching from just his fingertips to his whole hand. "Does that feel better? Are you warmer now?"
You nod. Everything about him was warm, a stark contrast from how cold you currently are. Any part of him that was directly touching you was doing wonders for your current state. "Use your words, love." Even when you're freezing, Curly will still find a way to tease you. This world is so cruel.
You sigh, "yeah, that feels better. Thank you." He smiles, happy with your answer. He pulls your body closer to his, your chest flush against his own. His fingertips move in a circular motion, trying to keep you calm. Which, to his credit, is working.
With the warmth of your beloved boyfriend mixed with the light musk scent of the cologne he always wore, you were falling asleep quickly. He could feel your eyelashes flutter shut against his neck, followed by your soft breathing hitting his skin. He presses a small kiss on your forehead, pulling you just the slightest bit closer to himself before dozing off.
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Your eyes slowly open, groaning out as you realize it's still cold in your room. You try to back away, but Curlys grip on you tightens. He shifts slightly as he begins to wake up, hands moving from your waist, to his eyes, to your waist again. "Good morning, beautiful.. lovely seeing you here." He says in a raspy tone, indicating he just woke up.
You smile, curling back into his grasp. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up." You say in an almost hushed voice. He chuckles, placing a small kiss on your cheek.
"No worries, love. Just more time I get to spend with you." He chuckles, burying his head in the crook of your neck; kissing every bit of exposed skin he could in the process. You laugh, squirming in his arms, but his grip on you only tightens.
"Curly- stop-" you get out between giggles.
He lays one final kiss just below your ear, letting out a heavy sigh; now out of breath. He places one of his hands on your chest, just below your collar bone. His fingertips trace up the skin of your neck, stopping to grab your chin, lifting it up slightly.
Your eyes meet with his and he leans in for a kiss. It was soft, gentle, everything he was condensed into a simple act of affection. It was perfect. His hands fully cupping your face, pulling you in so he can deepen the kiss further.
Your hands their way to his scalp, his hair curling between your fingers as you gently pull. His mouth opens for a split second, letting out a small whimper at the new sensation. His kisses become slightly sloppy as he begins to sit up, flipping you so your back is now pressed against the bed. He places himself between your legs, breaking the kiss so he can trail small kisses and nibble down your neck.
As his hands wander down your chest, to your waist, and eventually to your hips, he sings small praises to you in-between each mark he lays on your neck. His fingers go under the seam of your panties, slipping them off of you with ease. With one hand keeping your legs open, the other traces up your inner thigh, slowly inserting one of his digits into your aching heat.
"Curly~" you gasp, your hands locking behind his neck as a way to ground yourself. Just then, he slips another in. The feeling of his cold fingers curling inside of you sent shockwaves through your body.
Curly takes his fingers out of your cunt, lifting his head from your neck to lick off the slick that remains. You whine at the empty feeling, small tears forming already. "Crying already, love?" He says with a smile. He lines his cock to your entrance, the tip prodding at your hole. He lowers his body back down to yours, "forgive me, dear. Sorry if this hurts." He whispers in your ear.
Your hands go back to his neck, going up to grab his hair again. You cry out as you can feel him stretch your insides, pulling at his hair even more in the process. Curly grips the sheets beneath him, his hand quickly moving to your waist to hold both you, and himself down.
As he can feel you reach your limit, he stops, holding still for a moment. "Are you alright? You're not too hurt, are you?" He says, raising his head to look at you.
"Y-yeah.. it just hurts a bit.." you trail off. He sighs in relief.
"I know, love. It's going to. I wish there was more I could do, but I promise it'll be worth it. Alright?" He smiles, kissing away the small tear lines on your cheeks. You smile back, coming your fingers through his hair gently before moving your hands to rest on his back instead.
He takes a deep breath, slowly moving his hips backwards before meeting with yours again. His steady thrusts help you adjust to his size better, but it only leaves you wanting more.
"I'm gonna go faster, alright?" He says, nearly out of breath. You nod. He increases his speed, going faster than you had anticipated. You cry out his name, digging your nails into the skin on his back. "I know, love, I know." He whispered.
More tears stream down your face as the pain quickly turns into pleasure. You moan with each thrust, nails still digging into his back. Curly whimpers at the feeling, "fuck- just like that, you're doing amazing, love~" he says in a soft, out of breath tone.
You can feel yourself getting closer as your legs instinctively close around his hips, inadvertently pushing him deeper inside you. You try to speak, but the words just won't come out. "Curly- I-" you stutter, not being able to think straight because of the pleasure.
His pace doesn't falter, though. His hands move to your thighs, holding onto them with force in an attempt to not go any rougher than he already is. Your cries and moans become louder, chanting his name as if it were a prayer. You feel the knot in your stomach come undone, your back arching and head thrown back. With one final moan, you can feel a wave of pleasure wash over you, followed by your slick soiling the sheets beneath you.
"Just a little longer, love. You've done so well for me this far, I'm sure you can hold out a bit more." Curly praised, continuing his pace. His hands grip your thighs tighter, leaving crescent shaped marks on your flesh. With one more deep, rough thrust, he moans out your name, releasing inside of you. He collapses on top of you, his head resting on your shoulder as you both try to catch your breath.
"Are you.. still cold?" He whispered softly.
You smile, "no. Not at all."
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A/N; this would've been out two days ago but the new stardew valley update came to console and I've been GRINDING that shit. Also, the title was supposed to make an appearance in the fic. Right before the smut starts, when curly puts his hand on YOUR 🫵 chest, I was gonna add some dialogue like, "your heart is beating fast.. do I make you nervous?" But I thought that was cringe and cut it out.
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couldeatthatgirlforlunch · 3 days ago
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a day in the life where everyone tries to win reader over, maybe they heard reader mention something like how they can't stand an annoying relative asking them about a relationship over the holidays, or trying to get her the best gift?
ps i love your writing, i read it like my morning paper
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A Day in Life: Christmas, Presents and Revelations
Synopsis: A day in your life full of good Christmas presents, propositions and secrets.
Pairing: Yandere!Justice League X Assistant!Gn!Reader
Tw: Implied stalking; Calling someone a manwhore; Karens in the family with traditional and conservative ideals and miserable lives; Mentions of past cheating; Mentions of past Bucky Barnes X reader; Is Hal Jordan slowly getting his redemption arc?; Slightly implied horny Reader; English is not my first language.
Word count: 2,2k
Requested? Yup.
General masterlist | A Day in Life - Series masterlist
— And it's just so annoying, like, sometimes I literally don't want to show up on these things, but I don't want to leave my mom there alone with my dad’s family. — You huffed. — My auntie’s too concerned about my romantic life, like her husband didn't get other three women pregnant at the same time she got pregnant and only married her because he would have to marry one of the four girls. — You shook your head while your co-worker laughed. — And you know what's worse? I told everyone I had a boyfriend, but Bucky cheated on me, and I didn't tell them that yet, so she's gonna think I lied and mock me like the middle-aged Regina George she is!
Unknown to you, certain people were listening, and silently, each one of them made a decision.
Your last day at work before Christmas, you were getting ready to go home, pack and take the road, when someone knocked on your office door. You looked up, seeing no other than Martian Manhunter at your door, holding a present.
— How can I help? — You hid your gritted teeth behind a polite tone.
— I came here to follow the Earth tradition of Christmas and give my loved one a present. — He stopped in front of you with a soft smile and extended the gift in your direction. You hesitated.
— You didn't have to… — You cautiously took the present from his hand.
— I also have a proposition for you. — And there it comes. — I couldn't help but overhear earlier that you were in need of a partner for a meeting with your family. — You wanted to facepalm. — I could be that person. — You sighed.
— I can't show up with an alien superhero. — You crossed your arms with a pointed look.
— As you know, I'm a shapeshifter. — You watched as he changed his appearance to look like multiple different kind of people, one moment he was a tall blonde man, the next, a black girl with braids, then an asian young guy, and so on, meaning he could look however you wanted him to. — And you can call me by whatever name you choose, even the name I adopted here on Earth… J’onn J’onnes. — He settled for his usual green alien appearance. — You widened your eyes at his confession, thinking “oh, shit”.
— Uhh…
— While you think about it, open my present, darling. — He gently pushed the present in your direction again and you, still wordless, obeyed, while mentally searching for a way out of this.
You cleared your throat and teared the paper. The feeling of destroying the wrapping paper of gifts always made you feel a little embarrassed, as if the beautiful wrapping itself was the present and you were being rude by tearing it apart. It was a silly thought.
As you finished, you found out he gave you a comic book from your favorite hero. It made you excited, but you couldn't show it much.
— Oh wow, thank you… — You coughed. — Can't even imagine how you knew it was my favorite… — You internally rolled your eyes. — Anyway, about your offer- — Another knock interrupted you, and you both looked at the door. Aquaman was there with another present in hand.
He looked suspiciously from you to the other hero and stepped forward, then focused on you.
— Whatever offer he gave you, I give you one better. Take a king to meet your family, darling. — He smirked and offered you his present. You ignored what he said, settled the comic on your desk, and opened his present. It was a necklace with charms related to the beach, like some shells, pears and fishes, all made of your favorite metal. You pursed your lips, not waiting to admit to yourself that it was pretty and you liked it more than you thought you would, just like the last gift.
— Thank you. And about your offer, I can't exactly do that. You can imagine why. — He shrugged.
— Well, you can simply take me as your completely human lighthouse keeper, Arthur. — He smirked and wrapped your shoulders with his left arm. You shuddered, thinking “God, no”. — We’ll even invite them to our beach house, darling. Right on the shore. I also have a boat. Let's impress them. — He grinned proudly, as if he was sure you couldn't deny him.
You shrugged his arm off and before anything came out of your mouth, you remembered about your auntie and her shittalking right now. She always wanted a beach house, but everyone knew your uncle prefered to spoil himself and his side-pieces than her or the kids, and yet, she felt superior to every member of the family who was single because at least she had a husband and she didn't need to work, including you.
Rubbing a beach house, a boat, and a blonde hunk himbo on her face could be nice… Even if you just offered to take only your immediate family there one day and then just pretend you broke up with him later, he and the league would still get the wrong idea.
— Knock knock, oh- What’s everyone doing here? — Flash was there and pursed his lips while looking at the three of you. You groaned internally.
— You can go, Flash, (Y/N) won't choose you. — Aquaman, or Arthur, weaved him off. Flash narrowed his eyes for a second and then turned to you, ignoring him and beaming at you, extending a gift in your direction.
— I bought you something! — You discharged the necklace behind you and took the new gift, it was a bracelet with a lightning symbol in your favorite metal. It was also pretty, you were getting tired of it.
— Thank you, Flash…
— Please, just call me Barry. — He grinned brightly. — Please ignore the stinking ugly dressed fishman and the alien still learning to act like a normal human. You can take the funny and smart forensic chemist to meet your family. — He reached up and took his mask off, you widened your eyes, at seeing his real face. Huh, you didn't think he was blonde.
You stuttered, too shocked.
— Oh God… — You thought knowing their name was worse than their faces, secret identities and all, but something about seeing a real face that was kept hidden all the time felt like a heavier burden. To make matters worse, Green Lantern showed up. — No.
— Just hear me out, please! — Everyone turned to him with annoyed expressions. — I changed, I swear! And I apologized like, a thousand times. — He cleared his throat. By your face, he knew it was the worst thing to say. — Anyway, here’s your gift. — He bit his lip while you took it from his hands and opened it with hostility. They were tickets for the next concert of one of your favorite artists, that made you feel a little bad for the way you treated him, but it didn't change what he did to you in the past.
— I… Thank you. — You were trembling with nerves at this point from all the surprises you were having.
— I heard you needed someone to bring home for the holidays…
— Uhuh.
— And your dad is a big fan of the army, right? — You blinked. It was true, but you never told them that, yet, you weren't surprised they knew that.
Where was he going with it…?
— Please, not you too.
But he took off his ring anyway, and after a moment, he was wearing civilian clothes, along with a military jacket and dogtags.
— Who better than a charming ex-air force member to present to your family? Test pilot now, I can take them flying. Actually, I can take you flying. — He winked. — Call me Hal Jordan, beautiful. — He winked and saluted you. — Also, I fought in the war.
— Dude. Just give up. They're not gonna pick you.
— I will never give up, I'm a green lantern, strong will is kind of my thing. — He looked at you again. — So, darling?
While you were staring blankly at him, someone cleared their throat.
— Be reasonable, you don't have to be humiliated today. — Wonder Woman catwalked into the room confidently. She was holding two bags from a clothes store in her hands. The amazon pushed Hal Jordan aside and stopped in front of you. She looked you up and down and smiled charmingly. — Take me with you, darling. This is for you. — She extended one of the bags to you. You took it and looked inside, then reached in and pulled it out. It was a beautiful outfit, completely on your style, and clearly of good quality. But when she pulled out what was inside the other bag, it took your attention and you looked curiously at the red wine satin dress she was holding up. — And this is what I will be wearing. — She smiled seductively. — Diana Prince, pleasure to meet you.
You couldn't help your jaw from dropping while imagining her wearing that. While some family members might not admire the sensual outfit as much, you definitely would. Secretly. Your ego would too.
Damn it, why couldn't she be more normal and less yandere?
You swallowed, looking away from her and the dress. It was finally too hard to say no, but not for the mature reasons.
At your silence, Diana’s eyebrows rose up and she tilted her head to the side, with a pleased small smile. The other men in the room groaned and started arguing loudly, but she was untouchable in front of you.
Unstoppable force, meet immovable object.
— I think I should just go home, it's getting late… — You rapidly shoved your gifts inside the bag, took your things and squeezed your way between them heroes, not even realizing how trapped you were previously, but just as you got to the door, you hit a brick wall, or Superman, as people usually call him.
You groaned and he looked at you sheepishly.
— I guess after all of that I can't offer you something much better, but I can try… — Superman took a deep breath and before you could blink, he flew away, changed clothes, and came back. One second, Superman was in front of you, the next, just a regular cute guy wearing glasses and a suit. You took a second to recognize him and understand what happened and what that meant.
Damn, who knew glasses were a good disguise.
— I'm Clark, Clark Kent. I grew up on a farm in Kansas and I work as a journalist at the Daily Planet. — He smiled shyly and gave you his gift. — I hope you like it…
You blinked and catatonically looked at the thing he gave you. Differently from the last gifts, it wasn't neatly wrapped and it had a weird shape, but by how it felt in your hands, you guessed what it was.
You expected the sight of a Superman plushie to greet you, but instead, it was a plushie of your favorite fictional superhero. The same hero from the Martian’s comic.
Well, it was cute. You would probably fall for him if you didn't know better. You held back an awed sound that wanted to spill from the back of your throat.
Suddenly, the silence was broken by all the Justice League groaning a collective and loud “GET OUT”, you looked up, confused and curious by what caused all this, surprised by seeing it was just Batman entering the room.
Huh, why did everyone react like that?
He stared at you, then at every single one of them, silently, almost disapproving, or disappointed, but then, he smirked when he looked at you again.
Batman was smirking? You flinched.
— This is for you. — He gave you a big box. It was surprisingly heavy. When you opened it, there was a very expensive and beautiful pair of shoes, something you only dreamed of having and was always on your Pinterest board. Only digital influencers and celebrities wearing it, making you jealous. But that wasn't all. There was also jewelry and a very expensive bottle of wine. You will definitely take it to the holidays to impress your family. Or maybe keep it to a very special occasion. — And there’s more from where it came from. — He reached for his cowl and your breath hitched. Never in your wildest dreams you thought this day would happen.
He took of the cowl, and in front of your was…
Bruce Wayne?!
While everyone deflated, knowing they lost, you just had to hold back your laugh, but a snort still escaped. That took everyone off for a second, including the always stoic hero in front of you, who was clearly bewildered when you couldn't hold back anymore and laughed to his face.
— You think I'm gonna show up to my family with the nacional manwhore? HA! Yeah, that's gonna impress them for the first five minutes, then I will be the dummy who’s gonna be traded for the next top model. — You shook your head, still laughing. Bruce frowned deeper. You slightly feared for your job after you bluntly called him a manwhore.
— I would never do that to you. My affairs are all to deceive the public and keep my job a secret.
— And that might be true, but my family doesn't know that! Or are you gonna tell this to everyone? Funny. Billionaires are so delusional and out of touch… — You shook your head and walked out.
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