#but I sure didn't see it going around tumblr so you bet I'm going to be the right kind of pain in the ass

[titles-for-tangents]

"Apostles of Mercy" by Lindsay Ellis is out now! And she's going on book tour in the U.S. for the first time for the Noumena series!

Hey remember when the pandemic sidelined all her plans to go on book tour for Axiom's End so she did a ton of interviews instead, and then a book tour didn't really happen for Truth of the Divine? YEAH! "HOLY SHIT!" IS RIGHT!!

Via Macmillan:

BookPeople Wednesday, June 5, 2024 7:00 PM Book Talk & Signing in conversation with C. Robert Cargill 603 N Lamar Blvd, Austin, TX 78703

Schlafly Public Library Thursday, June 6, 2024 6:00 PM Book Talk & Signing in conversation with Ann Leckie 225 N Euclid Ave, St. Louis, MO 63108

Anderson's Bookshop Friday, June 7, 2024 7:00 PM Book Talk & Signing in conversation with Brad Jones 123 W Jefferson Ave, Naperville, IL 60540

Books Inc. (Opera Plaza) Saturday, June 8, 2024 6:00 PM Book Talk & Signing in conversation with Kaveh Taherian 601 Van Ness Ave, San Francisco, CA 94107

Mysterious Galaxy Sunday, June 9, 2024 2:00 PM Book Talk & Signing in conversation with Jessie Earl 3555 Rosecrans St, San Diego, CA 92110

Chevalier’s Books Monday, June 10, 2024 6:00 PM Book Talk & Signing in conversation with Maggie Mae Fish 133 North Larchmont Boulevard, Los Angeles, CA 90004

Malaprop’s Bookstore/Cafe Tuesday, June 11, 2024 6:00 PM Book Talk & Signing 55 Haywood Street, Asheville, NC 28801

Powell's Cedar Hills Crossing Friday, June 14, 2024 7:00 PM Book Talk & Signing 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd, Beaverton, OR 97005

Decatur Library, Dekalb County Public Library Wednesday, June 12, 2024 7:00 PM Book Talk & Signing in conversation with Becky Albertalli 215 Sycamore Street, Decatur, GA 30030

Third Place Books, Lake Forest Park location Thursday, June 20, 2024 7:00 PM Book Talk & Signing 17171 Bothell Way NE, #A101, Lake Forest Park, WA 98155

Bookshop Santa Cruz Wednesday, June 26, 2024 7:00 PM Book Talk & Signing 1520 Pacific Ave, Santa Cruz, CA 95060

I am posting this a day after the book premiered so I'm pretty certain each date will get removed from Macmillan's site from here on afterwards, because June 4th featured her at Barnes & Noble Atlantic in Brooklyn, NY with Caitlin Doughty! Caitlin Motherfuckin' Doughty!! AAAAAAHHHHHHH

COME GET FUCKED UP BY SPACE BUGS, PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY, MILLENNIAL ANGST, and more!

[kidasthings]

Noa and Mae: A Taboo Affair?

Hi, there! Kida checking in again with yet another controversy - you've been warned.

I see a lot of people on Tumblr and Reddit pointing out that a Noa/Mae (#NoMae?) pairing would be at best controversial, at worst beastiality.

I mean, he IS a CGI ape, right?

Not so fast.

I'd like to break down a few points, if I Mae (pun intended!), and address this argument. I'll be using a few of the comments I've seen on the web already to do so, on the part of the dissenters to the pairing.

1st Argument: "Planet of the Apes wouldn't show a kiss between a human and an ape. Ew."

Reply: Oh, they already have, my friend. Not in the full-blown sense, but they definitely did film Zira and Taylor kissing lips to muzzle in 1968. You can view that lovely bit here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEp7yunwVF8

I apologize in advance for impinging on your delicate simian sensibilities. #sorrynotsorry

2nd Argument: "Why would they even depict a human/ape couple? Humans and apes can't even reproduce in the franchise."

Reply: They can't? News to me. There was a Hum-Ape written into the early scripts and screen tests for Beneath the Planet of the Apes in 1970. Seems the Planet of the Apes franchise truly thought it was worth exploring back then. You can read all about that little guy right here: https://planetoftheapes.fandom.com/wiki/Hum-Ape

Aww, just look at that adorable lack of face-fur!

3rd Argument: "The audience of today isn't ready for that kind of thing."

Reply: And the audience in the 1960's/early 1970's was? I didn't know we became even more conservative 50+ years later. I'll be sure to adjust my high neckline and clutch my pearls in absolute horror at the thought of all of those deviant libertines living before me. Excuse me, I must go confront my parents about this.

BUT, before I do, I do want to point out we seemed to accept an on-screen kiss between Goliath (a gargoyle) and Elisa (a human) during a certain Disney children's cartoon show in the 1990's - anyone remember that?

Disgusting. I bet his breath smelled like rancid pigeon.

Additionally, we have more recent films such as Avatar, The Shape of Water - which won 4 Academy Awards, including best picture (not bad for a human and a fish-man pairing), and Beauty and the Beast.

And hey, if a living monster is not your thing, you could always opt for Warm Bodies. Think female human and male zombie. Necrophilia, anyone?

4th Argument: "Okay, fine, I see your point on the Taylor/Zira thing. But that only worked out because it was a human in a monkey suit, and we all sort of knew that. It didn't make it so strange. As for the other films you listed, well, those creatures don't actually exist so it's out of the realm of true possibility anyway. Noa is depicted as a real chimp, and him getting with Mae just makes it hit too close to home for comfort."

Reply: #Ishetho? Let's take a good look at what a "real chimp" looks like:

He's so damn Chimpy.

Okay, now let's look at our leading man--er, ape:

Looks like Chimpy had a love-child with Owen Teague. #shudder

As you can see, the two are pretty different. Chimpy has a true muzzle and a mouth that curves around it. Noa has a flatter, human face with an actual nose bridge and wider-spaced eyes.

And the EYES. My god. If you don't see the humanity in those baby-blues you might want to get checked for psychopathy. Besides that, Chimpy lacks eye-whites and has rounder eyes than Noa. Additionally, that pronounced brow ridge on Chimpy has thunder clouds gathering beneath it. Don't get me started on the ear comparison between the two, I'm sure it goes without saying!

Anyway, I think it can be safely stated that no chimp alive on this earth looks like Noa. He's too physically humanized to resemble an actual chimpanzee of the typical zoo variety. Thus, I would place him safely in the category of fish-man, the tall, blue cat creatures from Avatar, and those barbaric blue aliens that keep cropping up on certain ice planets in books #ifyouknowwhatImean.

---------------------

All that said, everyone can ship what they want. If you want Noa playing house with Caesar, never mind that trifling little timeline issue, you go with your fine self and write that fanfiction. Create an account on DeviantArt.com and fill it with their anthropomorphic babies who eventually grow up to be the first ape astronauts. Someone out there is going to love it and eat it up, I promise you.

For the points above, this is about Noa and Mae. They've got something, something tangible. Whether or not it becomes canon is yet to be seen.

For now, it lives on in our minds. With our inner eye, we can see it just fine.

[emphistic]

"Buttface"

Things Reader Should Acknowledge: I THINK IVE FINALLY GOTTEN THE HANG OF TUMBLR (hip hip hooray!), i plan on having yuuji being sukuna's baby brother, however, yuuji hasnt been born yet

Prologue: Ever since Sukuna moved in next door, you two have grown closer. Like, impossibly close. One might even call you two "friends;" albeit Sukuna would always shut that idea down. But one thing Sukuna wouldn't shut down? — is that he loves to see you smile. And he would do anything to hear your laugh, over and over again.

A/N: this is in the same universe as "I'm Lactose Intolerant", and while the ages of sukuna and reader dont really matter here, i wrote this with the idea of sukuna being 14 years old and reader is 13 years old (feel free to change that to whatever you desire), brownie points to whoever recognizes the movie that sukuna and reader are watching

Please REFRAIN from REPOSTING MY WORK (REBLOGS ARE EXEMPTED FROM THIS RULE)

"This movie is stupid."

"You think everything is stupid, Stupid." You quip back, flicking Sukuna's forehead.

"Touché." He scoffs, and crosses his arms over his chest before leaning further back into the couch. You put your legs on his lap.

You grin to yourself, wondering if he really didn't notice that you called him by the name "Stupid". Then you think, he's probably just in a good mood, and go back to watching the comedy playing on the screen.

"I mean, how can it take you so long to figure out that someone who looks exactly like you is actually your long lost twin sister?" Sukuna moves his hand around to somehow make his point seem more valid.

"Besides, isn't this supposed to be a comedy? Where's the humor in this? This isn't funny, at all," Sukuna drones on — until you decide that you've finally had enough.

"This isn't funny? Well . . . it's not like you're funny, either." You stick your tongue out at Sukuna, in a teasing manner — to which he does the same.

"That's just what you think. I bet you didn't even know that all your friends come to me during break just to listen to me talk. In fact, most of the time, I'm not even trying to joke around, I'm just that naturally funny," Sukuna wore a smug look on his face.

"Sure, 'Kuna. They're just laughing because you have such a funny face. Sometimes I even get you mixed up with a chihuahua, you know."

"Oh really?" Sukuna glares at you, and gets closer to your face.

You copy him, "Yes — really."

At this point, the tips of your guys' noses were just centimeters away from touching. You could practically feel his warm breath on your face.

Woah.

Now you could hear your own breathing quicken.

Since when were Sukuna's eyes so red?

Your cheeks felt warm.

Why are his eyes so, so—?

"Buttface." Sukuna interrupts the silence.

You get pulled back to reality. "What did you just call me!?"

"What, you deaf now? I called you 'buttface,' Dumbass."

"Seriously, someone needs to control your vocabulary."

"Pft, I don't need any controlling."

You laughed, "Sure, Sukuna. Sure."

The movie ended, and the credits rolled. Sukuna grabbed the remote and turned the TV off, before getting off the couch.

"Want something to drink?" He peered over his shoulder at you, raising a brow.

"Ah, sure. Lemonade."

"Too bad, I ain't getting it for you," Sukuna stuffed his hands into the pockets of his sweats and walked off — to the kitchen, you assumed.

You grumbled, and threw a pillow at his back. It just bounced off, though, and you sighed.

He returned minutes later, with a glass of lemonade in his hand. Which was a clear sign he was trying to aggravate you, because he's expressed multiple times his strong detesting of the refreshing drink. (You completely disagree with him, by the way.)

"Dude, seriously?" You frowned.

"Totally serious. I mean, I couldn't resist. This glass of lemonade was just calling my name." He took a sip.

"It is so good."

Another sip.

"Shame you don't have a glass yourself."

And another sip.

You were practically ripping out your hair at this point. "C'mon, 'Kuna. If you won't get me a glass, can I just have a tiny sip of yours?" You entreated him with all your might.

Sukuna rubbed his chin with his thumb and index finger, pretending to think about his decision. Finally, he said, "What's with that name you keep calling me? And — what's the magic word?"

You huffed, "Please?"

He gestured for you to go on.

You clasped your hands together in a desperate, beggar-like manner. "Pretty please, Sukuna? Just a teensy weensy sip? For poor ol' me."

"Hmm, let me think. How about . . . no."

You gawked at the pink haired boy.

"WHAT."

"You heard me."

"Aghhh!" You jumped on Sukuna, trying to grab the glass of lemonade yourself. If he wasn't going to share, you just had to take matters into your own hands — literally.

Your attempts were fruitless, however; Sukuna just kept on raising the glass higher and higher above his head, to the point you couldn't even reach his wrist. Damn him and his stupid growth spurt.

His hand starts to shake as you try to climb him like a tree. Next thing you know, your wish is answered. You got your lemonade. Except, not in the way you had hoped. The lemonade was everywhere. On your clothes, Sukuna's clothes, the couch, everywhere.

"Oh shit." This time, you didn't correct Sukuna's obscene language.

The room became so silent that you would be able to hear a pin drop.

"Sukuna!" You whisper-shout. (You had no idea why you were whispering.)

"Don't look at me, this was your fault!" His hand still held the now empty glass.

"Me? This was all you," you retorted, jabbing a finger into the older boy's chest.

"Sureee, Y/N. Let's just forget about the fact that you were practically climbing my body."

You blushed.

"You could've just gotten your own cup of lemonade, but no, you just had to spill mine."

You scoffed, "Well, you could've shared, but you didn't — because your shellfish."

Sukuna looked at you funny, "Do you mean 'selfish'?"

"Same thing, you know I make mistakes with pronunciation."

He shrugged. Then, a great idea popped into your head.

"Your mess," you exclaim, before pushing off of Sukuna and darting away, only to be pulled back by your hood.

"Hey!" You shout, falling back onto Sukuna's chest.

"This is your mess. You caused this, remember?"

You groaned, turned around, and tackled Sukuna. You guys ended up rolling off the couch altogether. Pillows were thrown, and the lemonade spread onto the carpet.

"Let go of my foot, you big oaf!" You yelled, shoving at Sukuna's face.

"Not until you admit this was all your fault." He continued to wrestle with you on the ground.

"In. your. dreams."

You guys continued to fight, which made the mess even bigger. It felt like hours had passed. Hours where you still didn't get even a sip of lemonade. Then, you heard the sound of keys, and next thing you know; your parents walked in.

Your heartbeat hammered in your chest.

Your mom and dad took one good look at the two of you on the floor, and your mom said, "Knock it off, you two. And clean up the couch. I don't want my living room smelling like lemonade for the rest of the year." They walked into the kitchen.

You turned back to look at Sukuna, just to find him already staring at you. You guys continued to stare at each other before bursting out into laughter. Tears were basically streaming down the both of your guys' faces at this point.

Your mom yelled from the kitchen, "Ah, young love these days. So different from us — right, honey?" Your dad responded with a loud chuckle.

Looking down, you realized the position you were in. Sukuna lying on his back beneath you, while you were sitting on top of him. The expression on your face immediately soured.

You and Sukuna pulled away from each other in record timing, both of your expressions clearly, visibly flustered.

[notsunnyowo]

Prom Dress

Gojo Satoru graduation party headcanon :>

Content: Just pure tooth-rotting fluff, Female Reader (AFAB)

Word Count: 606

"Satoru!! We're going to be late!" You called out to your date.

"Just give me five more minutes to finish up and I'll be right down!" You heard Gojo's voice coming from his dorm room.

"You said that fifteen minutes ago man!" You reprimanded. "My feet are killing me!"

The schoolyear had finally ended and you were over the moon with excitement. You had finally graduated from Jujutsu High and were now a full-fledged Jujutsu Sorcerer!

As the last day you'd be spending in the school, all your classmates, correction, every student currently attending the school had gotten together to organize a graduation party for your class.

You could hear the upbeat music coming from outside. I bet everyone's having a blast out there.. You thought. You, too were supposed to be out there, having the time of your life with all your friends, but instead you were stuck waiting for your best friend and current date - Gojo Satoru.

"That's it- If you don't come out this instant I'm going without you Satoru!"

No response.

"Alright then, I warned you." You said, turning around and taking a step forward, only to be stopped by the unmistakable sound of Gojo's room door opening.

"About time! If you'd made me wait even one more second I would've-" You paused, jaw almost dropping at the sight before you.

Is that..? N-No way.. It can't possibly be-

Standing right there in front of you was your best friend, yet you couldn't seem to believe it.

Since when did Satoru become this hot?!

"Y-You uh.. Look good. I mean- The suit looks good! On you, that is!. What is going on with me today..?!" Letting out an awkward laugh you clear your throat before suggesting. "Shall we go now? I'm sure the others are waiting for us."

"Yeah." Satoru gave you a soft smile, making your poor heart almost leap out of your chest. "Let's go."

He took his arm out, gesturing for you to take it, and once you did, the two of you began walking down the hall in silence. You didn't dare to say a word, especially not after what just happened a few minutes ago.

What had even gotten into you back there? Why did you begin stuttering like a nervous wreck in front of Satoru? It wasn't like you to get nervous like that, especially not when it came to Gojo, your best friend of nearly four years!

You glanced at him, heart skipping a beat while doing so.

I always knew he had a good looking face.. But I never realized how handsome he actually was..

It didn't take long for Satoru to take notice of your staring and look back at you. His crystal-blue eyes locked with your own. Looking into them felt like gazing deep into a vast ocean.

His previously soft smile quickly morphed into his signature shit-eating grin as he then stated. "(Name), you're staring."

Feeling the heat rushing to your checks, you immediately looked away, hastily uttering out an apology to the boy.

"Sorry about that.."

"S'fine." Satoru replied. "If I were you I'd also get lost looking into my eyes. Since they are breathtaking."

His comment made you chuckle, instantly lightening the mood.

"Yeah, they really are beautiful."

This time, it was Satoru who went quiet and you instantly looked at him, afraid to have done something wrong, only to be met with Gojo's flushed checks.

Were you seeing things or was the Gojo Satoru blushing right now? It sure was!

It took the boy a moment to compose himself before turning to you and saying.

"You look beautiful tonight."

A/N: I was scrolling trough Tumblr when I saw these pictures of Gojo and knew I had to write something about them. And so- Here we are :'D

Hope you all enjoyed reading! <3

[gn4wz-0n-b0n3z]

ithink this is what tumblr would be like in the dogman universe: a simulator

😀 randomcivillian-956 follow

can those villain asshats get control of those goddamn monsters i have lost literally every single fucking thing thanks to those brainless pieces of shits last week a fucking T-REX SKELETON destroyed my fucking HOUSE and everything around it

🪻 inmylane-1999

how are you able to say those words

😀 randomcivillian-956 follow

what words?

🪻 inmylane-1999 the a word, f word, and s word

😀 randomcivillian-956 follow

oh i see you're one of the Collardale inhabitants. screw the fuck off your town is a CURSE

🪻 inmylane-1999

what did i do? :(

10 notes

🪰 greenweirdthingwithteeth follow

hnstly i dont get y Daryl hangs arnd that pig guy hes rlly mean & bad

🐊 piethrowingboss

didnt u help us go after him when he ditched us after the mini jail broke 2 bits?

🪰 greenweirdthingwithteeth follow

yeh butt hes still rlly mean & i was a lil moar concerned 4 Daryl

🐊 piethrowingboss

ohhhh kk

5 notes

🐕 zupabuddiezthezenutz

zomg did u guyz watch that new mini-documentary w/ Petey The Cat n Zarah Hatoff??? that waz tragickk..

#holy shart i have so much moar respect 4 him now..

6 notes

🔄 24hotdogsatyourdoorstep reblogged

🌆 icareforyou follow

still dont know why people are supporting Petey Duckhat just because of that documentary, didn't he terrorize the city for more than a month or two?? ntm he quite literally MUTILATED Officer Knight and Greg The Dog's bodies bad enough with that bomb to where they had to become that sick and horrible abomination i have to stomach through seeing on the news every week.

😀 randomcivillian-956 follow

i know right?? like hes genuinely a horrible cat but people are supporting him for no other reason other than "oh hes a victim!!" like shut the fuck up and grow up.

comicpanel-deactivated-98325749857

op i wouldn't say DogMan is sick and horrible, he seems to be in great condition despite such an accident and hard surgery to conduct, and looks perfectly happy. while i don't support Petey Duckhat either, you took it a step further and suggested that DogMan is currently in conditions horrible enough to render him an "abomination".

🌆 icareforyou follow

dont you post tips for fucking evil monsters on your blog.

#LMAOOO dude was SLAUGHTERED so hard they deactivated #redogs

1,509 notes

🌭 24hotdogsatyourdoorstep

walking on the street with a small can of living spray in my pocket and the nearest cop explodes into blood guts and viscera

10 notes

🦷 bigmonsterinyourheart

okay i get that Dr. Scum is a real and kinda sucky person and all that but his labcoat kinda fucks!!

0 notes

✨ lookatthestars

Hot take or whatever but I don't think we should trust a guy who gets really distracted by squirrels and balls and a kitten who could easily get hurt to protect our city. Lightning Dude IS one of the better options as they ARE a highly durable and strong robot, but The Bark Knight and Cat Kid maybe aren't our best bets, they could get hurt easily and aren't exactly professionals.

Don't get me started on the Friendly Friends, I don't think we can trust two guys who JUST left the same exact trio that was responsible for that marshmallow factory's destruction (which left many injured, some DEAD), what if they're pretending? Also the bugs could easily get killed, they're small and fragile, the most work they can do without a high risk of getting smashed is spying on villains.

Commander Cupcake's a different story, as I'm pretty sure that guy only helped out, like, 3 times.

#anti-supa buddies #anti-friendly friends #twinkle twinkle little star

15 notes

🪁 lalalalala89

dude imagine if we were in a book rn and ppl were posting on tumblr abt us

0 notes

🎠 supastarr

remember, calico trans toms are perfectly valid! even cis toms can be calicos, and fur pattern doesn't determine exact gender, especially with fur dying technology nowadays! :)

506 notes

[tactfullyinappropriate]

This is part rant, part sex advice so read at your own discretion. Also one of those posts I'll get a lot of flak for.

In lesbian nsfw content on tumblr dot com one of the most prevalent sentiments is 'I want to pleasure my partner' (insert any variation on it) which is fair and all, and there are a lot of service tops around so it makes sense really. But. For some of us who have difficulty experiencing orgasm or even enjoying sex at all, making our pleasure the focal point of the experience is the absolute worst thing you could do.

It's a nice sentiment, I guess, but if it doesn't actually produce pleasure, is it really that nice? And before you come at me with 'some people really are just service tops and they get their pleasure from pleasuring their partner' - I get it, I do. As a top (or dom/me) you have the right to your preferences and you may absolutely refuse to tell your partner 'Your orgasm is inconsequential, I'm gonna fuck you anyway'. Not to mention that approach is verging on kinky and getting near mindfuck territory, which not every top (as in the person doing the penetration in this case) is comfortable with. Heck, not every dom/me is comfortable with that either - pretending to disregard your partner's pleasure can be a particular flavor of kink not everyone is into.

Buuut.. a lot of what I'm seeing here comes across more as a lack of real-world experience rather than a self-aware preference to focus on your partner's pleasure. Like for example, the amount of 'overstimulation' posts I'm seeing is just wildly disproportionate compared to the amount of women who can be forced to orgasm again and again, and again. This has never been my experience on either side of the dynamic, nor the experience of any of my friends or acquaintances. More often than not, women have trouble reaching a climax and can't really be "forced" into it.

Orgasms are not just a bodily sensation triggered by a certain type of mechanical stimulation. They require you to be in the right headspace as well. So if you actually want to bring about an orgasm, dropping the pressure may be (I want to say usually is) your best bet.

Look, I get it. I've been with women who come from a 2-minute clit rub. I didn't feel particularly accomplished with them... but they do exist! How wonderful for them and the people who just love pleasuring them. The rest of us however? 'Your pleasure is my pleasure' is the worst approach with us. Like, thanks, now if I don't come not only am I bruising your ego but also diminishing your pleasure? That's A LOT of pressure put on my fickle mental focus and unreliable vagina.

All of this is to say: it's fine to have your fantasies of overstimulating a partner to the point of incoherence. But be prepared that the reality of sex may be very, very different depending on how your partner's body and mind work. And sometimes, if your partner's pleasure really is that important to you, pretending it's the complete opposite might be the key to the castle - if you can get with that of course. Nothing's done a better job at helping me let go and experience actual pleasure than a partner's response to my 'I'm not sure if I can come though...':

"That's okay, baby. I don't need you to come for me to enjoy your body."

Um. Yes, Sir.

*I use the word 'woman' here purely based on my actual real-life experience so far but I'm sure this is applicable to a number of different identities. Even for some cis men orgasms are not as easy and effortless as porn makes it seem, I've been told.

[veltana]

Highest bidder - Steve Rogers x virgin!reader

✦ Pairing: Steve Rogers/Reader ✦ Word count: ~5k ✦ Raiting: Explicit ✦ Warnings: AU, kind of soft!dark Steve, reader is in her mid-twenties, one shot, pwp, insecurity, loss of virginity, piv sex, condoms, cunnilingus, smallest hint of a daddy kink, fluff and smut, dirty talk, friends to lovers, small hint of possessive/protective!Steve. Let me know if I missed anything! ✦ Summary: Tired of being a virgin and out of money you travel to Las Vegas to auction it off. Little do you know your friend Steve Rogers won't let anyone else have you. ✦ Note: I think this is among the first times that I cross-post a whole fic to tumblr. This fic is also on AO3. I'll see what the response is like here and maybe I'll continue to do it in the future.

Masterlist | AO3

"So what are you up to this weekend?" Steve asks as you take the first sip of your beer. For a second you debate not telling him and Bucky, sitting across from you in the booth. "Me and Wanda are going to Vegas." "What? Without me?" Bucky’s scandalized voice makes you laugh. "You don't like traveling, or Vegas for that matter," Steve points out. And that is true, you much prefer to stay in your apartment, reading your books and drinking tea. "Also, didn't you say you could hardly afford to go out with us tonight?" Bucky questions. "Well," you begin, scratching at the beer label, not wanting to look at them. "The trip is paid for." The stunned silence from across the table doesn't bode well, you know you're in for an interrogation now. "Do you need help? Are you in trouble?" Steve's concerned voice makes you look up. He's always so sweet and caring to you, looking out for you all the time.

"No, I'm fine. I'm doing it willingly," you answer. "What are you doing willingly?" There is no hiding the curiosity in Bucky’s voice. Once again you're not sure you're going to tell them, but it also doesn't make sense to keep it a secret. It's not a big deal, that's the whole point. "I'm auctioning off my virginity," you confess and are rewarded with both of them looking at you like you've grown a second head. Before they can say anything you continue. "I'm tired of it hanging over me, I just want it gone. And I'm also tired of scraping by. What you two make in an hour, I make in a month and I just want to be a step ahead instead of a step behind for once."

Bucky's smirk is the last thing you expect. "How much are you starting at, I'll double it." "Jerk." You throw some of your nuts his way. He laughs in response. "Honestly, tell me. What does a virginity go for these days?" "I'm starting out at three thousand. It would be more if I didn’t put in a clause about condoms and I’m a little bit older than most others.” “Well, my offer still stands,” Bucky concludes. “I bet it does, perv.” “And you don’t think the people buying you are pervs?” Steve’s been quiet up until now and his accusatory tone makes you defensive. “I’m not fucking stupid Steve, of course I know they are. They are also filthy rich. If I get bought by some disgusting old man I’ll smile and think about how fucking good it will feel not being stressed about money.” He still doesn’t look pleased and you didn’t come here to get judged. Finishing your beer you get up and grab your jacket. “I’ll see you around,” you say. Before walking out.

Vegas is overwhelming and loud. Instantly you shrink down, pulling your shoulders up. You would be lost if it wasn’t for Wanda. She’s in her element, flagging down cabs and weaving through the streets while you do your best to keep up. Finally, you arrive at your room. It’s small but not cramped and the two beds are clean. “First, shower, and then we’ll get started on your hair and makeup,” Wanda instructs. “You’re the best, you know that Wanda?” you smile at her. “What are best friends for if not fixing you up for some old guy to buy your V-card,” she winks.

Maybe Wanda is a witch, you think as you look at yourself in the tall mirror backstage. Somehow she took your average look and styled it into something you would never in a hundred years be able to recreate. Instead of the innocent style many seem to prefer, she made sure you looked sexy. If this had been a regular night of going out, you’d feel uncomfortable that someone you knew would see you, but the two glasses of champagne and the knowledge that no one except you and Wanda would ever see this made your confidence high. The night moves quickly, both women and men going up on the well-lit stage to present themselves and then watching as the bids start coming in. The people bidding are not in the room, but in different hotels scattered across the city, typing in numbers. Some people do elaborate shows when they step up in front of the cameras. One guy deep-throats a large banana and at first, you giggle but then you see the digits on the screen. His bids are the highest all evening so far. You decide quickly that you will just go up, smile, and wave and wait. You aren’t expecting much, but your pride hopes at least one or two people will find you attractive enough to at least pay the starting bid.

Soon it’s your turn. With a pounding heart, you step up on the stage, your body warms not only from the light but from the nervousness coursing through your body. You concentrate on your breathing so you won’t pass out and when you smile you hope it looks genuine. At first, the monitors are quiet and your heart drops. Are you not good enough for even some old lonely pervert? Then it dings with an incoming bid. It’s just above the starting sum, but you’re instantly relieved and can’t help the actually genuine smile that cracks your face. A second later another bid comes in. You don’t know how many people are placing the bids, you just see the number rise on the monitor, to your utter delight. Quickly it’s up to four thousand and the tempo slows, so maybe some people dropped out. But a few steady bids keep coming in, until it’s starting to near five thousand and it stops long enough for an automated voice ring out through the room. “Going once. Going twice.” Before it can finish the monitor chimes again, your mouth dropping open when you see the sum. Ten thousand dollars. It must be a mistake. The counting starts again, but you hardly hear it over the pure shock you’re experiencing.

Then you’re shooed away, given a room number and a key, before being put into a waiting car to take you to the hotel. When it stops outside of the Palms Casino you think you must be dreaming. It gets even worse when you realize you’re heading to the top floor. Whoever is waiting behind the door won’t matter, because you’ll gladly do anything they ask you.

The penthouse is stunning and it’s hard to take everything in. At the floor-to-ceiling windows, a figure is outlined. They’re backlit against the neon lights of Vegas and it’s hard to make out any details except the broad shoulders, narrow waist, and long legs. That feels promising. They don’t turn around as you close the door but you don’t hesitate to step into the room and begin to walk up to them. Stopping a a few steps behind you say “Hi. I am flattered by your very generous-” But you don’t get further because the person turns around and your words get stuck in your throat. “Steve?!” You quickly step back to get away. This must be some cruel joke he and Bucky have come up with. Before you can run out of the room he grabs your wrist. The usually soft eyes are hard and his smiling mouth is a line of displeasure. “Let go of me,” you demand. “No can do, I paid for you,” his hard voice makes you still. “This isn’t funny, Steve.” “No, it’s not. Now you’re going to go into the bedroom and take off those heels, then kneel on the bed and wait for me,” his instructions make it very clear that if you argue, you won’t like what comes next, so instead you bow your head and say “Yes, Steve.”

You’ve never seen a king-size bed before and it’s much larger than you could’ve imagined. The sheets are soft against your knees as you sit on your feet, waiting. There are too many emotions and questions running wild in your body, but the most prominent one is Why had he bid on you? There is no denying Steve is good looking and when Wanda had first introduced you, sure you’d had a crush on him. But you never thought about pursuing it. His life was far from yours, with luxury cars and expensive dinners, while you went out to eat once a year on your birthday. Both he and Bucky had offered you money on several occasions but you’d never taken it, because you’d never be able to pay it back and money being owed between friends always caused trouble.

You hear the steps nearing the room and you meet his eyes as he steps through the open door. He has left his suit jacket and rolled up the sleeves on his shirt, making him more desirable and more dangerous at the same time. Taking a stand a the foot of the bed he stares you down but you don’t cower. Even though you want to ask what the fuck this is, the tension in the air tells you not to talk back right now, just show him that you’re not afraid. Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise that Steve is here because he is someone you trust would never hurt you, or do anything against your will.

“Here is how this is going to go, sweetheart. I’ll do right by you and take this nice and slow like you deserve. Then when it’s over we’re sitting down to a nice dinner, and afterward I’m bending you over the dining room table and taking out all my fucking frustration on that cunt of yours until you can’t walk straight.” His words send lightning bolts of desire through you and you nod in understanding. “Use your words,” he demands. “Yes, Steve,” you agree. Then he crooks his fingers, indicating he wants you to come to him. You crawl the short way to the edge and sit back again. His fingers grip your chin carefully. “I’m going to kiss you.” “Okay.”

The second he presses his lips to yours it's like being on cloud nine. It's soft but not hesitant and you instinctively grab a hold of his shirt. Steve begins slowly, as if not to scare you but the more you meet his advances the more he takes. Then he coaxes your lips to part, slipping in his tongue and finding yours to play with. Kissing other people has been nice before, but kissing Steve is exceptional. When his hands land at your waist and pull you into him, you can't keep the moan in. His touch hardens and it makes you throb to be this close to him.

You’re a little out of it when he pulls away and you must look it too because he chuckles. "You like that?" A dopey smile splits your lips and you nod. But then his hands travel to the front of your dress, hooking his fingertips into the fabric and you can’t help stiffen. "Have you ever had your tits played with?" he asks. With a groan, you shake your head. "If you think kissing was great just wait until I get my mouth on the rest of you." He sounds so confident, but you’re not and either it’s blatantly obvious that you’re insecure or he knows you too well.

"How are you feeling?" You think about lying for a second but then decide against it. "I don’t understand why.” "Why what?" "I don’t mean to sound ungrateful but, why me Steve?" You find the courage to look up at him. Now he has that soft smile that you absolutely adore on his stupidly handsome face. His voice is just as soft when he speaks.

"Not only are you absolutely stunning, and I’m not talking about the way you’re dolled up right now. I love seeing you in your big sweaters while you go around the bookstore and help people with recommendations. I also admire you, because you follow your heart. Doing what makes you happy is important to you and I wish I were more like that. Even if you look out for yourself, that never stops you from caring about others. You cry when you see clips of rescue animals. And you're so so obvious that I've been in love with you since Wanda introduced you." "What?" you choke, your whole reality shifting. "Sweet, dumb little pet.” Steve’s hands cup your face and light squeezes your cheeks together for a second. “I've wanted you since you stammered out your name. Something so pure and precious deserves the world." "I didn’t know,” you whisper. "Of course you didn’t. When I got home that night, I jerked myself off to the thought of you and I swear I never come so hard in my life."

"Steve!" Heat rushes into your cheeks at his words. "I’ve had time to think about this a lot. I'm going to get you so wet and needy you will beg for my cock. I'm gonna make sure you're at the brink of insanity, deliriously begging for me to fuck you, even though you don't know what it feels like." "Oh god!" you moan, desire moving through your body. "Let me taste you, kitten. Let me make you scream,” his seductive voice rumbles.

Nodding you watch as his fingers pull the dress down, baring your breasts to his eyes. Instantly he cups them, thumbs brushing your nipples, making you keen. "Prettiest fucking tits I've ever seen," he whispers before leaning down and licking a nipple. The sensation makes you grab hold of his head to steady yourself. His tongue flicks it several times before sucking it into his mouth and you arch into him, clutching him, moaning out his name. Sure, you've been aroused in your life before, but the ache Steve creates is starting to feel painful. "Steve!" you plead when he switches to the other side, giving your other nipple the same treatment. He hums against your skin before pulling off you with a plop and immediately kisses you again. Nothing is really different from before but just knowing that Steve's tongue was just somewhere else on your body and now it's in your mouth makes you heat up even more.

It feels good when he takes charge, it keeps your thoughts from running in all the wrong directions. He gets you to lie down, crawling onto the bed after you, kissing every inch of exposed skin he can get to while you shudder under him. "How are you feeling?" he asks with a shit-eating grin, clearly knowing he's responsible for your state. "Goodgoodgood!" Is all you can get out while pawing at his clothed chest. "Want me to take it off?" Nodding vigorously you try to undo the buttons, but fail. He laughs and sits back between your spread legs, untucking the shirt and pulling it over his head. The bulge in his pants is very visible and you swallow hard at the sight of it, both scared and excited. He notices you looking. "We'll get to that later," he promises with another kiss. "First I'm going to get you wet and ready for me."

A hand hikes up your skirt and a finger follow the edge of your panties, down toward the juncture of your leg. It's like hot coal against your skin, burning you most sweetly. Even if you’re already soaked, his touch is sending pulse after pulse into your cunt and you're scared you're about to stain the sheets if he continues. A fingertip caresses over your core, touch so light it's almost not there but your sensitive skin feels it. Trembling you arch up, gripping the sheets. "Is that good?" Not knowing if you can speak you just nod and he continues. Down your thighs and back up, over and over again against your covered cunt, fingers getting firmer and firmer the more sounds you make.

A thrill you've never felt before has taken up place in your body, threatening to send your mind spiraling. To distract yourself you explore the plains of Steve's body that you can reach, stroking his arms and shoulders, but to feel him makes it even worse. You can’t wait to have him pressed against you.

Sitting back again he says, "I'm going to take these off now." He hooks his fingers at the top of your panties and starts to pull. "Lift your ass up." He instructs. Now your tits and your cunt are exposed for him. Steve is staring, but when you try to close your legs from embarrassment he quickly puts his hands on your thighs to spread them apart even more. "Don't you dare take that pretty pussy away from me," he all but growls and it sends another wave of pleasure into you. The air feels cold against your wet, warm skin. Then his gaze flicks up to you and with another smile, he leans down bending you almost in half, placing a kiss on your lips. "Last kiss before I devore you," he whispers and slides down your body. When his words sink in, you go rigid.

"No, you don't have to, we can just‐" you begin but the look he gives silences you. "Do you know how long I have waited for this?" He nips the inside of your thigh. "No," you whimper. "Been dreaming about how you would feel, and taste." He mouths at your skin. "The nights I can’t sleep I lie there and think of you soaking my beard when you come for me," he groans and moves down a little more until his face is right in front of your pussy. "Now I'm having my fill and when I'm done you'll be primed for my cock, I promise."

Not giving you any time to answer he dives in. His tongue feels nothing like your own fingers, or the vibrator you have in your drawer. It's sending you to heaven with every stroke. Steve takes notes of what makes you moan the loudest and in no time the unmistakable warmth of an orgasm begins to build. You do your best to keep still, but it's hard when it feels so good and Steve follows your every movement until your thighs are trembling heavily, breath coming out in irregular gasps, your fingers threatening to tear the sheets apart.

It climbs quicker than you expect and when the orgasm rips through you it’s with a cry, that leaves you almost boneless afterward. Looking down, panting, you notice you've basically crushed Steve's head between your thighs. With a "Sorry!" You spread them apart and he comes up for air, his beard glistening with you. "How was that?" "Incredible," you sigh. The ache that threatened to consume you has died down to a more manageable throb. "Great." He positions himself again and you stare with wide eyes. An amused smirk plays on his lips. "Did you think that was it?" You try to stutter out a response but he raises his hand and wiggles his fingers playfully. "Now you get these too."

After a second you relax into the pillows, trusting Steve with your body. He's gentle when he begins, now that your cunt is a million times more sensitive, but soon you're trembling again, and then the tip of his finger is at your opening. It slides in without resistance and the feeling changes. More nerves send sparks through you from new places. It's too much for your poor brain to decipher and you don’t fight it, just let it take you, like you’re floating down a stream. "Good girl, relaxing for me so well." Through bleary eyes you see him looking up at you. "Ready for another one?" You're not sure what that means but you nod anyway and are rewarded with a smile. He never looks away from you as you feel another finger press in together with the first. A high-pitched sound leaves you as your chest heaves. It's too much but not enough. You’re so full but in the best way possible. Then he moves them and you can hear just how wet he's made you.

His tongue comes back to play with your clit and soon you're at the edge of another orgasm. "Yes yes yes!" You chant over and over again. Everything he does feels so good. The sensation of clamping down on his fingers as you come is new and makes the orgasm much stronger this time, leaving you mildly disoriented for a second. "God, you look so beautiful when you come." Steve lays his head against your leg, still moving his hand and sending small aftershocks into your body. "You know what?" "What Stevie?" you ask, your voice a little hoarse as you reach down and place your hand in his soft hair, carding your fingers through it, just to feel him. "I don't think you noticed, but there are three fingers inside you now." You make a questioning sound. "Added another right after you came. No problem at all. Just need you to come one more time, then I'll know you're ready." He does something with his fingers inside you, making you whimper from the pleasure it sends through you. "Found your G-spot too," he looks smug as he says it. "Let's see what happens when I play with just that."

It’s another new experience that puts your body on edge in the best way. The pleasure never dissipates but it never builds either and finally you can't stand it anymore, deciding to beg for the relief he can give you. "Stevie, please! Use your mouth again!" "Of course, when you ask so nicely." When he sucks your clit into his mouth, it makes you see stars, and seconds later the built-up ecstasy reaches its peak. Gripping his head you grind against his tongue with a cry of his name because it’s so fucking good.

Afterward, you sink down with a relieved sigh and you're pretty sure your muscles have never been this relaxed in your life. "Such a good girl for me." Steve praises before pulling out his fingers, licking them clean, and moving off the bed. You instantly feel achingly empty. Not taking his eyes from you he undo his pants and slide them and his underwear off.

The sight of his hard, leaking cock standing out from his body is kind of mesmerizing. You've seen dicks in pictures, sent unsolicited to you on a few occasions, and a couple of times when you've tried to watch porn. Never before have you thought a dick could look pretty. As if something possesses your body you crawl over to the edge of the bed, settling on your legs and reaching out towards it. Steve watches, chest heaving slightly as you trace his cock with a fingertip, all the way from root to tip, dipping it into the leaking mess. Looking up at him you bring it to your mouth and lick it. The groan he lets out in response is delicious.

It doesn't taste bad, just different and you're about to ask if you can try to take him in your mouth but as if sensing your thoughts he leans down to capture your lips in a kiss. At first, you try to move away, knowing where he has just been, but he keeps a steady hand at the back of your neck, forcing you to taste yourself on his tongue, and just like him, it’s not bad, just different. "If I let you touch me more than that, I'll burst,” he explains before he grabs your dress and pulls it off you in one go. “Now be good and lay down again." "Yes, Stevie," you answer and fall onto the bed, spreading your legs. Instead of joining you right away, he walks up to the bedside table and opens a drawer, pulling out a square package.

Embarrassment fills you. In your post-orgasmic state, you forgot about your own rule. If he hadn’t gotten a condom you would gladly have let him take you raw. Lucky for you, Steve is not the type of person to take advantage of you like that. He rolls it on and you swallow hard. Just the look of it is big, you’re not sure how it will fit. "Don't be scared. With how wet you are, it’ll glide right in," he says with a smile, kneeling between your spread legs.

This is the moment, you think. After this, you won't be a virgin anymore. Even if it is just a social construct, you've never actually had a dick inside of you and that will be a new experience. Steve kisses you, helping the doubts slip away. The rubber feels weird against your lower lips, and then it's at your opening. The tip presses inside and Steve watches your face. "Does it hurt?" he asks. "No,” you assure him. “It's just different." "Tell me if you want to stop." "Just keep going."

Slowly he eases his way inside and once he bottoms out both of you are breathing heavily. With a groan, Steve's head lands on your shoulder. "Fuck you're like a vice around my dick. I'm going to try to move." You wrap your arms around his shoulders, caressing his back and he starts moving. You feel like you're filled to the brim and it's pressing against your G-spot, making you warm and high again. Experimentally you lift your hips, meeting his, eliciting a moan from him. "I'm sorry," Steve mumbles. "I won't last long." Before you can respond he continues. "You feel too good. So tight and warm. Fuck!" Then he lifts himself on one of his strong arms before grabbing the back of your neck and bending it until you're looking down toward where your bodies are connected. Steve slams his hips into you and you answer with a cry of pleasure. "Look at that unused cunt taking my big cock so well." "Steve!" you whine. His thrusts are too good, the pressure too much, and looking at it only makes you hotter. "It was made for me, right?" "Yes! Ah! Steve!" The throb in your clit is driving you insane and you reach down to relieve it. "Oh fuck. Are you gonna come on my dick your first time? That's dirty." You never expected words to be such a big part of sex, but the way Steve is talking is heightening your sensation.

"That's right. Rub your clit for me. Fuck you're clenching around me so hard. Tell me if you're gonna come." Nodding frantically you feel the climax building. Your whole body is a coil wind up tight and you're not sure what will happen when it snaps.

"I'm - I'm… I think I'm going to come, Steve," you moan. The pressure in your lower stomach is excruciating and delirious. You just need a little more. Letting go of your head he meets your eyes. "Good girl, I'm right behind you. Squeeze me dry. Come for Daddy." The last words enter your brain and sweep you off. The orgasm takes over your whole body and drowns you in pleasure. The edge of your vision blurs, your body shuddering violently. You hear the blood pumping in your veins. Feel your heart drumming in your ribcage. On some level you're aware of Steve above you, chanting your name as his hips pump into you and he fills the condom.

The weight of him is nearly crushing but also makes you feel safe. For the first time, you have the presence of mind to take in his body as you caress down his sides and his back, down over his ass as far as you can reach. It makes him sigh happily and you feel so content. After a while, he raises himself on his elbows and pecks your lips, nose, and cheeks until you giggle, before getting off completely and disposing of the condom. As soon as the warmth of him leaves, small, cruel thoughts about this once again being some kind of joke start forming in your head. Despite what he’s said, you find it hard to believe that it would be true.

Before you have time to think more about it he is beside you in the bed again, leaning on his arm and looking down at you. "So, how was that?" He’s curious, there’s no hiding it. "Better than I could ever dream of," you answer honestly. "Well, that's an ego boost," Steve laughs. "How… How was I?" He kisses you before he whispers, "Best I ever had." You can't help but snort at that. "Don't fucking lie to me."

With a growl Steve rolls onto his back, taking you with him and making you lay on his chest. "It's the fucking truth, and unless you want a spanking to go with the next round, you're going to believe me." That tone of voice. The threat of pain and pleasure combined sparks something inside you, and Steve notices. "Oh, does that make you horny?" Hiding your face in the crook of his neck you say "Yes, Daddy." Steve groans and crushes you into his chest. "If I could fuck you again right now, believe me, I would."

Several hours later you're in bed again, pressed against Steve’s warm chest. He did what he promised and you’re sure you won’t be able to walk tomorrow. But something is weighing on your mind. “I’ll pay you back,” you say. “If you do, you’ll wish I spanked you.” “But-,” “No. I told you that you deserve the world, that money is a drop in the ocean to me.” “I can’t believe you bought me.” “I can’t believe you sold your body.” Even if you can’t see him, his voice makes it clear he’s not happy. “The thought of someone else touching you, fucking you. I’m not a violent man, but that makes me want to kill.” “I’m glad it was you,” you confess with a smile and kiss his skin. A moment later he’s on top of you, kissing you sweetly and you feel him stirring against you, growing hard. An answering wetness pool at your core. “I need you again,” he murmurs against your mouth. With a nod, you reach between your bodies to guide him inside. Pulling back, he says “Condom.” When he reaches over to the bedside table, you shake your head and lift your hips. “Oh fuck, are you sure?” “I want to feel you,” you reassure him. It’s a bit sore when he presses inside but the movements are slow, and the kisses quickly take your mind off it. Afterward, he doesn’t pull out, and you fall asleep with his cum and cock between your legs, happy he was your highest bidder.

[explorevenus]

ride the lightning - steddie x reader

nsfw (18+) - minors dni !!

word count: 7k+

tags/warnings: reader is afab and uses she/her pronouns, daddy steve, master eddie, sub/brat reader, praise, degradation (includes use of slut/whore a couple times), spanking, threesome, thigh riding, edging, orgasm denial, restraint (reader gets handcuffed for a min), mild dacryphilia, oral (m+f receiving), fingering (f receiving), anal (m receiving)

(^^^ i got carried away heheheh)

a/n: not new to the fandom but this is my first stranger things fic so i'm incredibly sorry if any of this reads ooc !!! i'm also not,,,, the best at writing in second person so this was originally written in first person and then gradually converted over, i hope it doesn't sound awkward ;w; last apology of the day is for formatting, i haven’t posted to tumblr in years so be patient w me lol

for the record this takes place in an au where eddie never d*ed-- u and eddie and steve share an apartment ♥ aka the best au

my ao3 ♥

masterlist ♥

fic under the cut !! thanks so much for reading !!

  It was fun to push Steve's buttons sometimes. Of the three of you, he certainly had the shortest fuse.

  It was fun to pick little arguments with him about meaningless things until he'd reach his wits end and scold you for being difficult. It was fun to wear short skirts around him, to watch his strong hands tighten around whatever he's holding as he'd look up the length of your legs with his lip between his teeth. It was fun to tease him in social settings, like parties, for example, with 'accidental' lingering touches to the front of his pants, and suggestive whispers right into his ear when no one was watching. Or when his friends were watching, so he'd have no choice but to swallow his reaction.

  Sure, it was all fun and games, until you were being escorted out of said party by Steve himself, dragging you along by your bicep with his fist closed so tightly around you that it felt like a blood pressure test, and he was seething so strongly with annoyance that he wouldn't even look at you. Under normal circumstances you might not have felt so confident, but this was the first outing you'd attended in quite a while, and your tolerance for alcohol had tanked considerably in that time, it would seem. Just two strong drinks had you stumbling, and for that you were oddly thankful that Steve was holding you strictly upright and moving, even if he was seething.

  You couldn't stop giggling as he dragged you along. "Steve, come on, don't be mad," You teased. "I said I was sorry!"

  But he didn't say anything in response, his cold stare unmoving as he walked you through the chilly, sobering air-- it was a short distance to the car, though, and once you were inside with the doors safely shut, all bets were off.

  "'Sorry' doesn't even begin to cover it, princess," Now he was the one laughing, but it wasn't jovial and light-hearted like yours, no. It was devilish, patronizing, like he knew something you didn't. It sent a shiver throughout your body, and your thighs shifted in response. Observant as ever, Steve noticed your movements almost immediately, and he swatted at your knee. "Stop that," He demanded lowly. "When we get home, you are so dead."

  In your anxiousness the drive felt dizzyingly short, and as he turned into the parking lot of the apartments, your eyes caught sight of a certain big brown van parked by the stairs-- a vast majority of that confidence you felt earlier was sucked out of you in an instant. Eddie's home from rehearsal early. You knew that Steve was going to use this to his advantage, and when you looked over to see him grinning widely at the van like he'd just won the fucking lottery, you figured he was way ahead of you. 

  Oh, you were dead alright. You were doomed.

  "S-Steve," You reached for his hand, eyes pleading up at him. "Don't--"

  He parked and got out so quickly that it seemed like one smooth motion, and before you knew it he was opening your door and grabbing you by the wrist. Thankfully there was no one around, but still you felt your cheeks and the tips of your ears burning hot already. "That's not how this works, (Y/N)," Apparently you weren't keeping up with him well enough, as he jerked your arm forward to pull you along with him once you reached the top of the stairs. "You don't get to poke the fucking bear all night and then act innocent when you decide you don't want to face the consequences."

  Steve threw the front door open carelessly, like it was just another puny thing in his way, kicking it shut once again as soon as you'd made it through the doorway. Eddie startled at the sound, looking up from where he sat on the couch. Music sheets and pages of notes were scattered around him, and he added what was currently in his hand to the pile before raising an eyebrow, "Uh oh, what did I miss?"

  "Someone I know has been a needy fucking brat all night," Tossing his keys on to the counter, still gripping your arm hard enough to leave a bruise, probably, Steve began to walk you over to Eddie, and your heart retreated further into your throat with every step you took. "I am sick and god damn tired of it!" Steve shouted, letting go of your arm just to flip up the back of your skirt, striking your ass so quickly and unexpectedly that you stumbled forward at the force of it, nearly losing your footing. You couldn't help the shrill yelp that came from you, and as the sting radiated outward you couldn't bring yourself to look at either of them. It was dawning on you that perhaps you'd dug yourself a much deeper hole than you'd originally thought. It was like a switch flipped, and you went from damage control mode into fight or flight mode, an internal battle which 'flight' won instantaneously.

  But, Steve knows you all too well, of course-- you didn't even have a chance to dash to the other side of Eddie before Steve hooked an arm around your waist, pulling you back into him with a level of ease that served all too well to remind you of his strength. Eddie was stunned as he watched this unfold before him, brown eyes widening further when Steve took you by the hips and forced you into Eddie's lap, straddling his right thigh. You sucked in a breath as your center made contact with his ripped jeans, the thin seat of your panties being the only barrier between your sex and the rough denim. Face burning, you let your eyes wander the many patches and buttons on his vest as a means to avoid eye contact as his guitar-weathered hands slyly took the place of Steve's over your hips.

  Steve cupped your throat from behind, cradling your jaw between his thumb and forefinger so that he could redirect your gaze straight to Eddie. Your heart was pounding in your chest, that familiar warmth growing between your legs as you struggled to keep your composure, but Eddie was drinking in the sight of you like you were the best present he'd ever been delivered, big red bow and all. Steve came close to your side, lips brushing the shell of your ear as he gave you one simple order, "Ride him."

  Stunned, you whimpered, "D-Daddy--"

  "I am not going to ask you again," He squeezed your throat, just for a quick moment, a reminder of his strength over yours, before growling in your ear, "Ride. Him. And don’t even think about finishing unless I tell you to."

  Eddie's fingertips pressed firmly into your hips, rocking you back and forth gently, like he was encouraging you to move on your own. "What's the matter, princess?" Eddie teased with a handsome smirk that bared his teeth. "Sounds t'me like this is what you wanted."

  He wasn't wrong, but that was precisely why you couldn't trust it. It felt too easy, too good to be true, and that made you insanely suspicious of Steve's intentions. Still, you were desperate for the friction, and you couldn't help yourself from beginning to follow Eddie's movements, however hesitantly at first. Your mouth fell open in a soft gasp, but you quickly rectified by biting your lip and allowing your eyes to fall closed. Steve always treated humiliation like a sport he was determined to win, which made you want to deny him the satisfaction that much more. Your shaking hands found purchase clutching at the waist of Eddie's denim vest, and you flinched a bit, peeking your eyes open when he took your cheek in the palm of his hand, cool rings resting along your jaw. 

  "Hey," Eddie spoke softly. "Use your words."

  But how were you even supposed to answer him without admitting defeat? Frustrated, you let out a sigh and found yourself subconsciously grinding harder into his lap-- it was much easier, and much more alluring, to focus on the feeling. Still, Eddie was waiting on an answer, and it was a known rule of theirs that you were expected to respond when spoken to. 

  It wasn't a coincidence that they also happened to be great at talking you into walls, and loved doing so.

  "Master, s'not fair," You slurred, once you'd finally found the words. "I-I wanted to ride more than your thigh..."

  Eddie shivered, grasp on your hips tightening, but Steve could only laugh. "Not fair, huh? Isn't that a shame?" He taunted in your ear. "You were acting like such a brat all night, clinging to my arm like a needy fucking slut, bending over in that little skirt and flirting with other people right in front of me, because you're just so starved for attention at home, aren't you? Fucking pathetic."

  Now Eddie was laughing along with him as your ears burned, and he gasped lowly in mock offense, "And here I sat all night thinking you were out there being a good girl for your daddy. Sweetheart, how could you?"

  Fuck. I should've known that Steve was gonna rat me out. Every last bit of hope you had for getting Eddie on your side was dwindling away before your eyes. Your gaze fell to his lap, the need inside you only growing with every movement, every pass of your hips over his warm thigh. "I said I was sorry..." You tried to rectify.

  "Not good enough," Steve was quick to interject, his hold on your jaw tightening again so that he could correct your line of sight. "Eyes forward, baby. Don't make me ask you again."

  Your cheeks burned red with humiliation as Eddie met your eyes with such smug pity. "There you go, sweet girl," He hummed, cradling your cheek with one hand and your hip with the other, pressing you down just a little bit harder against his thigh, grin widening as you quivered. "So you can follow directions." He teased. Steve let out a breathy chuckle in response.

  "Master..." You whined, doing your best to resist every last part of you that wanted so badly to avoid eye contact.

  "What, not funny? Daddy thought it was pretty funny."

  Suddenly, and very much without warning, the palm of Steve's hand came down hard against your ass, making you cry out both in pain and surprise, bucking forward into Eddie's lap in a way that sent a jolt of white hot pleasure through your core. Your eyes rimmed with a thin barrier of tears. Steve spoke into your ear, "I'm getting pretty sick of your attitude, (Y/N). I think you need to lighten up."

  Your knuckles whitened around the sides of Eddie's thick leather vest, your pace quickening as you rutted desperately into his thigh in search of that feeling again. Nuzzling into Eddie's palm for comfort in the wake of your spanking, you responded to Steve in the best way you knew how, "I'm sorry, daddy."

  He took a moment, as if he were pondering whether or not to accept your apology, but ultimately his grasp softly withdrew from your throat, and he pressed a kiss to your temple. "Thank you, doll."

  But there was something... off about his tone. Under normal circumstances you would have turned to look at him, but you couldn't chance taking your eyes off of Eddie if you wanted this to go even slightly your way. Thankfully Eddie was the one to break the eye contact first, glancing down to where your clothed cunt met his thigh. He smirked, glancing back up at you through his messy curls. "That feel good, baby?" 

  "Yes, master," You answered obediently, resisting the urge to look for yourself, as you had a feeling he was trying to trick you into getting yourself into more trouble. No matter, you could certainly feel what he was probably talking about-- the seat of your panties was thoroughly slick with arousal, your heart threatening to beat out of your chest. "It feels good. S-So good."

  "Looks like it-- you're makin' a pretty fuckin' mess all over me."

  Your trembling hands travelled lower in place of your eyes, until the palm of your right hand slid over the front of Eddie's jeans; you felt his cock twitch at the contact, stiffening beneath your touch, but still, you waited a second to test whether or not he'd stop you-- or if Steve would, for that matter, who seemed awfully quiet.

  But they didn't.

  Your heart leapt into your throat with excitement, and you began to palm him through his jeans. You felt him shiver beneath you, and watched as he drew his bottom lip between his teeth, oak wood eyes darkening almost to black. He would never admit it, but his cheeks had a rosy glow, too.

  But you should have known it couldn't be that easy.

  You flinched as Steve's hand came down on your shoulder from behind, and you froze in place, the pace of your hips faltering for a second. "Did I say you could touch him?" He asked.

  But your brain was becoming rather fuzzy with lust, and you knew you were slipping further and further into subspace with each passing second. You knitted your eyebrows together, tilting your chin just enough to look at him. Steve's hard-handed approach was starting to get on your nerves. "You never said I couldn't." You sassed.

  Steve scoffed, tugging gently at your hair just to throw you off that much more. "I shouldn't have to," He scolded. "Good girls don't just get whatever they want because they want it. Tell me, (Y/N), what do good girls do?"

  You continued to massage Eddie's stiffening cock through his jeans, mouth watering as you couldn't seem to get enough of the feeling of him growing hot and hard under your hand. He gripped your hips, taking control of your movements until you were nearly back where you'd left off, and when you realized in a brief moment of clarity that Steve was still waiting on an answer, you sighed in frustration. You could hardly remember what he'd even asked. "Daddy..."

  "Tell me," Steve tugged at your hair again, a little harder this time. "Come on, baby, I know you know it. Tell me what good girls do when they want something."

  So that's where he's going with this. You huffed quietly, "A-Ask nicely..."

  "I can't hear you," He taunted. "Speak up for me, please. Use your big girl voice."

  "Good girls ask nicely," You spoke louder this time, making sure to enunciate, letting yourself tip backwards into Steve’s chest as that coil in your stomach began to tighten, trying at least a little bit to hold yourself accountable and withdraw your hands, but you just wanted Eddie to feel as good as you felt. Shakily, you continued, "G-Good girls say please."

  With a wicked and devious grin, Eddie began to bounce his leg, watching smugly as you arched and whined in pleasure, breaking your promise to Steve just for a brief second as your eyes fluttered shut, though you quickly corrected. Eddie hummed, "That's right, princess, you know better, don't you?"

   You nodded lazily.

  Reaching around you, Steve grabbed your arms and propped you upright, forcing them behind your back-- you didn't have a lot of time to wonder what he was doing before cool, familiar metal settled around your wrists, tightening with a few clicks.

  So he wasn't just being quiet earlier, he was grabbing our cuffs from the bedroom. Sneaky.

  "Y'know, since you can't seem to follow simple directions," His words were cold, but you could practically hear Steve grinning through his tone. "It's a shame, really. I know how badly you wanna touch your Master, but naughty fucking sluts don't get that privilege, do they?"

  You shivered, finding it increasingly hard to focus on his questioning as you slipped closer and closer to the edge, but never close enough. You wanted more, needed more, but at this point you had no chance in hell of gaining their permission. It would be embarrassing to even ask now. Instead you bit your tongue, shaking your head softly in defeat as you answered Steve, “No, daddy, they don’t...”

   He gave you a patronizing pat to the head. "Now you're getting it."

   Eddie was eating up every last second of this interaction, though it was evident that his own arousal was becoming... dire. He continued to bounce his leg beneath you, cradling you so closely toward the edge, but equally so he was shifting where he sat in what you guessed was an attempt to alleviate the pressure. Maybe I can work with this...

   "Master," You panted, knuckles white behind your back as you gazed deeply into his round, soul rendering eyes, humping his thigh as fluidly and artfully as you could manage in your state of pleasure. "Please... may I please suck your cock?"

   His lip upturned into a grin, his hot body rumbling beneath you as he shivered at your words. Quickly, he glanced over to Steve for input-- after all, it really was up to Steve-- and then he turned back to you, and you could hardly read the look on his face. You wanted so badly to shed him of his clothes, to feel every inch of his hot skin on yours, to do him the kindness of relieving that ache. Suddenly your own clothes felt that much more confining, and you huffed softly in frustration.

   Finally, Eddie answered lowly, "Sorry, princess, daddy says no."

   Your face twisted into one of confusion and annoyance. "What?" You turned to look at Steve, uncaring of the fact that that technically meant defying him-- he looked infuriatingly proud of himself, arms crossed casually as he flashed you that famous smirk. He should be glad my hands are bound right now. "I asked nicely! I said please!"

   "Yes you did, honey, and I'm so proud of you for that," He said, tone dripping with amusement at your reaction. "I just don't think you've learned your lesson. What do you think, Eds?"

   You quickly turned back to look at Eddie, who looked equally pompous. "Gotta agree with ya there, Harrington," He declared, and your jaw dropped in offense. Eddie then continued, "Can't just let her get away with whatever she wants."

   Now that was the nail in the coffin. You'd lost Eddie to Steve's cause.

  By now it was becoming highly difficult to hold yourself together-- you hadn't even finished and you were beginning to feel the bittersweet start of overstimulation, every bump of your clothed clit against Eddie's thigh resulting in a sharp jolt. A fat tear tumbled over your cheek, soon followed by another. You took your lip between your teeth and dug your nails into your palms, shifting in your restraints. "D-Daddy, please, it hurts..."

  "I know it does, princess. Maybe it'll teach you a thing or two."

  You groaned, hips stuttering-- even a break would have been nice. Of course you had a safe word, and you knew that if you used it they would stop in a heartbeat and dote on you to no end, but you were determined to see this through, to prove to them that you could be good. You would do almost anything to get back into their good graces at this point, and you knew Steve liked a challenge. It wasn't going to be easy, but good behavior must hail a good reward, right?

  Your head felt light, fuzzy and borderline mushy with bliss, and as much as you wanted to beg them to ease up, it was probably fair to say you shouldn't hold your breath on that, as if you could even find the words to speak if you tried. It was sort of embarrassing how easily they managed to toy with your brain and body, to walk you right where they wanted you with a level of prowess that reminded you well just how deeply they knew you, sometimes in ways you didn't even know yourself. Eddie's calloused hands smoothed upward from your hips, rings cold on your burning skin as his touch passed slyly beneath your shirt. After so much anticipation, it felt truly divine, and you found yourself arching into him eagerly. He simply chuckled, letting his palms slide over the globes of your breasts, thumbs toying with your already hardened nipples-- he squeezed softly, eyes raking up the length of you as you squirmed.

  "So pretty and soft," He whispered to himself, though the praise was not lost on you. "Our sweet little princess... if only you could behave yourself, hm?"

  With a frown you sighed, "I can behave, master, I promise... m'trying to be good for you..."

  "Oh, you are now, aren't you?" He teased. "Tell me what you want, baby, and maybe I'll give it to you."

  A flurry of butterflies swept through your stomach, and you rutted deeper into him. "Master, please, m'so close, need to cum, please..." 

  "Hm... what do you think, Stevie?" Eddie asked, glancing over your shoulder to your superior. "Think she's earned it?"

  The palm of Steve's hand came down softly on your shoulder, caressing the junction of your neck and shoulder with a featherlight touch that only made your body burn hotter. He hummed in thought for a moment, always a fan of dragging things out just to torture you, but surprised you with his response. "Actually, I have a better idea," He said, taking advantage of both yours and Eddie's surprise to pull you up suddenly from where you sat, tossing you over his shoulder like you weighed nothing. You whined pathetically at the sudden loss of stimulation, shivering as the cool air hit your soaked panties, and as Steve turned the two of you around to walk you the short distance to the bedroom, you caught sight of Eddie eyeing the considerable wet patch you'd left on the thigh of his ripped jeans before snapping out of it quickly to follow you.

  As you entered the bedroom, you could hardly stop your mind from running wild pondering over what Steve's 'better idea' could possibly be. He could be very hard to read when he wanted to be, one of many devilish tools in his box. When the three of you first began seeing each other you could hardly believe that Steve had it in him, let alone in comparison to Eddie, but it would seem he was more and more determined to prove you wrong by the day.

  Not that you were particularly complaining.

  Steve delivered you unto the bed somewhat unceremoniously, and as you squirmed to reposition yourself upright with limited use of your hands, you looked up to be met with the sight of the two of them joined at the mouth before you. They had wasted absolutely no time going in on each other, lips colliding in a saccharine display of tongue and teeth, saliva changing hands every time they connected. 

  Steve playfully took hold of Eddie's bottom lip in his teeth, teasing him with the little bite to catch him off guard so he could nudge his jacket off of his tattooed shoulder. Eddie gave him a curious look but said nothing, opting instead to take it upon himself to disrobe-- slowly of course, after all he was providing a show for two-- and as the last of his clothes were discarded to the floor you were captivated by the extravagance of his naked body. Steve's sly hand travelled lower from where it began at the nape of his neck, releasing a bouncy coil of Eddie's messy hair from around his index finger as he felt over the expanse of his chest, fingertips brushing over Eddie's sensitive nipples, feeling over his soft stomach until he began following his happy trail down to where Eddie really needed him. 

  You and Eddie both let out a soft gasp as Steve's hand closed over Eddie's woefully hard cock, teasing him with a few lazy pumps of the hand before Steve turned to look at you, thumb rolling over the reddened, weeping head. "You said you wanted to blow him, didn't you?" Steve asked.

  Your face burned at the pointed accuracy of that question-- after all, you did indeed say that-- and you nodded eagerly. "Yes, daddy, pretty please," You begged. "Want it so bad--"

  "Then go ahead, sweetheart," He finally relented. "Suck your master's cock for me, like a good little whore."

  He wouldn't have to tell you twice. You scrambled clumsily to your knees, scooting as closely to the edge of the bed as you could manage, heart racing with excitement, and every beat throbbed through your core. You could hardly wait to take care of him. Eddie stepped toward you at Steve's command, cradling the back of your head so lovingly as he threaded his fingers into your hair and scratched. It took a conscious effort not to start dozing off at his affection-- there was a much more important job to be done, of course. But now you were really wishing you could use your hands.

  Your master shuddered at your touch as you lapped delicately at his hard cock, and as you licked a coy stripe from the base of him all the way up to the tip, he scratched your head affectionately again before he gathered your hair away from your face, holding it firmly at the base of your neck-- a favorite look of his on you, communicated all too well by the look on his face. Eddie smirked handsomely down at you, "Open wide, doll, just like I taught you."

  Practically on cue your mouth fell open to receive, knuckles whitening behind your back as you took him slowly, thankful that despite your active punishment, Eddie was still forgiving enough to allow you to pace yourself in adjusting to him. With a shaky breath from your nose you sank almost all the way down, savoring the familiar taste of him on your tongue for one final tranquil moment before he could no longer restrain himself, his hips rutting forward to force himself deeper down your throat. Your eyes slipped shut with a muffled whimper at the force of it, suppressing a gag to the best of your ability-- he'd been teased just as much as you had, to be fair, so you could empathize with how he felt.

  He soon found his rhythm, letting out a satisfied groan as he held you in place to fuck your mouth. Your head swam with lust and, well, lowered oxygen intake, concocting an oddly blissful feeling that was somewhat akin to being choked-- you moaned softly around his thick cock, becoming wetter at the intimate pleasure that was allowing him to use you as he pleased, though you could hardly believe that was possible by now. The vibration of the sound you'd made only served to spur him on, drawing a shiver from deep within him. His grip on your hair tightened almost painfully.

  You felt the mattress dip just behind you, and you couldn't help the way you spooked at the unexpected nature of it-- both of them chuckled at your response. Steve's familiar touch began to toy at the insides of your thighs. If your mouth weren't otherwise occupied you might have said something, but alas... He knew you were hanging on by a thread already, this was just cruel. No matter, you didn't have the option to protest this time-- you felt the ghost of his fingertips sliding upward beneath your skirt, until his palm closed around your cunt through your panties. You let out a quiet whine, inadvertently attempting to rock back into his touch, but the more you followed him, the more he pulled away.

  You were met with a harsh swat to the ass, making you yip, tears threatening to fall again-- Eddie was not letting up with his bruising pace on your throat, and you were already way too sensitive. This wasn't going to be easy. Steve chided with a click of the tongue, "So greedy tonight, aren't you? Be patient, honey, and if you're good I'll let you finish."

  Excited at the prospect of this, you shot him a sideways glance, eyes wide and practically spelling out, you promise?

  As if he could read your mind, he rolled his eyes and smiled, "I promise, okay? Just trust me."

  What other option did you have but to trust him anyway? You obediently refocused your attention to Eddie, reveling in the sight of his inked body towering over you, fucking ruthlessly into your throat, and you hummed contently, tearful lashes fluttering in awe of him. You flinched when Steve's touch returned to you again, this time tugging at the buttons at the front of your crop top, freeing your chest for them both. You whimpered in pleasure as he tugged and pinched at your nipples, forcing yourself not to arch into his touch, and it would seem this pleased him enough, as he continued to grant you his attention. 

  This continued for a moment until you were finally able to relax into it, to succumb to the cards you'd been dealt for now. With one hand Steve kneaded at your breast, feeling every shaking breath of yours under his palm, while the other snuck back down between your legs. You jolted when the tips of his middle and ring finger dragged over the seat of your panties, from your slick hole to your aching clit-- you moaned around Eddie's cock, making him shudder and draw his bottom lip between his teeth, a rosy blush settling over his skin. Still, Steve continued.

  He rubbed gentle circles over your clit through your panties, careful to give you just enough to reignite your arousal and nothing more, as if he were testing to see whether you'd break his rules-- you didn't, though your legs were starting to get a bit shaky. 

  "Fuck, princess, love fuckin' your mouth," Eddie moaned, pace stuttering just for a moment as he lost himself in the feeling, but he was quick to find his composure again. He let out a breathy chuckle. "Feels like a fuckin' dream."

  You hardly had time to revel in how hot that was before Steve pushed your panties aside and sank a finger inside you. You keened beneath his ministrations, gagging briefly over Eddie's cock as you sucked in a breath the wrong way-- Steve laughed, letting his forehead fall forward to rest on your shoulder, teeth nipping at your skin. He replied to Eddie, "You should feel her pussy right now. So fucking wet."

  You fought against every instinct in your body to keep still, tears dripping freely down your face. Steve quickly found that soft spot within you and withdrew his finger, only to return with another one at a measured pace. You let out a muffled sob, eyes rolling back in bliss as electricity rolled over your body in waves. Eddie's thrusts began to slow gradually, chest rising and falling with unequal breaths as he pulled himself from your lips, allowing his hot seed to spill out in thick ropes over your chest with a final few strokes of the hand.

  Now that he wasn't holding on to you, however, it became immediately apparent how much you had been depending on him in your attempt to follow Steve's directions. You wobbled pathetically, cock drunk and boneless beneath Steve's skilled hands, and you were lucky that Eddie was quick to catch you as you fell forward.

  "Aww, look at you," He mused, catching his breath, petting your hair as he held you to his chest. "You still with us, sweetheart?"

  You nodded lazily, arms squirming in your cuffs. Your wrists were starting to burn where the metal bit into you, but you were nervous to ask if they would take them off-- you had gotten so far with Steve by now that you really didn't want to ruin it, especially with such a promised reward for good behavior. But, then it occurred to you--

  Eddie, on the other hand, is much easier to convince.

  Tilting your head just enough to gaze up at him through your lashes, you tugged at your cuffs again and sighed softly, "I wann'em off, master," quietly enough that you hoped Steve wouldn't notice. 

  But of course he did. He used his free hand to tug at them right back, regaining your attention as he continued to pump in and out of you. "What do you say when you want something, (Y/N)?"

  Dejectedly, you hung your head and mumbled, "Please."

  "That's right. Good girl," He praised, reaching into his back pocket to hand the key to Eddie. "I expect you to be on your best behavior once we take these off."

  You nodded with an excited grin, "I'll be good, daddy, I promise."

  Eddie scratched your head softly before letting go just long enough to unlock the cuffs, a freedom which felt divine now-- you quickly rid yourself of your open shirt, then your sore arms sealed around Eddie's waist like a magnet, and you peppered his tummy with soft kisses both as a thank you, and in pure adoration. Steve was ushering you nearer and nearer to the edge again, so you were grateful for the stability. Your heart hammered beneath your sticky chest as your peak drew closer.

  It certainly was tempting to just let it happen, though you felt a responsibility to respect your dues. Shyly, you whimpered, "Daddy, I'm so close... please let me cum, please..."

  "Aren't you a quick learner?" He teased, brushing a finger over your clit. "I guess you've earned it."

  Your heart swelled instantaneously, your core burning white hot as the evening's worth of pent up frustration finally paid off-- your entire body shook as your high washed over you, and you gushed over his thick fingers with a sinful cry. He was sure to drag it out a bit, of course, pumping his fingers slowly just a few more times to get a rise out of you, and then he pulled them out.

  You slumped into Eddie's chest, catching your breath, and he rubbed your back softly for a moment before taking you by the shoulders to lay you properly down on the bed. Taking note of your exhaustion they began to shower your face and body in feather light kisses, attentive hands caressing and massaging and loving. You felt so precious, so special, you couldn't help but melt into their affection. Steve smooched your shoulder, teasing you with a soft bite to your dewy skin, one hand kneading your breast and the other palming your cheek. His eyes fell to yours, and you were taken again. "Aren't you a pretty little thing, hm?" His thumb brushed over your nipple and you shivered, taking your lip between your teeth. "We should get you some pearls."

  You nodded into his palm, doe eyes hooked on his, shivering as Eddie's lovely tongue slid across your breast, savoring a drop of his own cum. They were truly unbelievable. Steve stood to finally undress himself, while Eddie, distractible as he is, settled on his stomach between your legs and found himself wandering your trembling body with his mouth. He started with your breasts, of course, careful not to deface any more of his art with his inkling to taste, instead focusing his attention on your nipples. Taking advantage of your freed hands, you threaded your fingers into his hair and basked in the feeling-- he sucked and swirled his tongue over the sensitive buds before traipsing lower, dusting your ribs and tummy with featherlight kisses, passing over your most ticklish spots with his lashes.

  He made his way down to your hips, dragging your skirt down along with him, peppering you with smooches and little bites before gazing up at you with his handsome puppy eyes, "Lemme return the favor, baby, please?"

  You shuddered-- there was absolutely no way you could say no to that face, and he knew it. You nodded with a soft giggle, granting him your permission.

  Eddie's eyes lit up with excitement, and his broad hands slid down to your thighs to nudge them up over his shoulders. His teasing continued only briefly to your inner thighs, only until he'd left you an adequate number of stinging little marks to admire later, before he succumbed to his own need. His tongue slipped teasingly inside you before trailing upward to flick at your clit, and you drew in a sharp gasp, yanking at his thick hair. The motion only seemed to encourage him.

  He dragged the flat of his tongue all the way up, teasing you with a quick swirl over your aching jewel before he steadied his grip on your thighs, locking you in place so that he could truly devour you. He moaned with satisfaction, presumably at the taste of your arousal, and the vibration of his deep voice resulted in a sinful whine of your own. You rocked your hips into him in an attempt to chase the feeling, shuddering deeply with every bump of his nose against your overstimulated clit. You felt Eddie jump a bit, and you peeked your hazy eyes open to catch the sight of Steve, newly naked, taking his place at the end of the bed, just behind Eddie. His strong hands had come down to caress Eddie's back as a gentle way to alert him of his presence there-- Eddie tensed just for a moment, suckling your jewel up into his mouth before he relaxed into Steve's touch, tongue fluttering against you.

  You watched in awe as Steve kneaded tenderly at Eddie's flesh with one hand, stroking himself with the other, his cock hard and drooling with precum. With a shaking breath, he let go of himself to take hold of Eddie's hips, a lock of hair falling in front of his pretty face. You're not entirely sure you were breathing.

  Eddie recaptured your attention as his fingers traced lightly up the length of your thighs, careful not to catch you off guard, which was sweet of him. He drew his fingertips through your folds, slicking himself with your wetness before pushing two slowly inside. After all, he was well aware of your sensitivity, and you got the feeling he wanted to drag this out a bit. He brought his face into you again to lap at your swollen clit, and you quivered, thighs closing around his head, to his apparent delight-- you could have sworn you heard him chuckle with pride.

  Taking advantage of both yours and Eddie's distraction, Steve sheathed himself within Eddie at last, and the way they moaned in sync sounded just as sinful as it did heavenly. His hips stilled for a moment, allowing Eddie to adjust to his length before before he gradually began to rut into him. With every collision of their bodies, Eddie's divine mouth and hand rocked deeply into your cunt, making you cry out in pleasure.

  Steve's pupils were blown wide with lust, leaving him with an expression that was absolutely carnal, and it was undoubtedly purposeful that his gaze was trained on you, like he was just waiting for you to notice. Shivers rolled over your body and you clutched Eddie's hair just a bit tighter, captivated by the complete and absolute intimacy of it all. You were experiencing such an intoxicating mixture of things, pleasure, need, electricity... your breaths were uneven and accompanied by shaky moans, your muscles tight but weak and your core burning hot with desire.

  You were right to trust Steve-- he had a way of settling things in a way that worked for everyone.

  Try as you might, there was no possible way you could continue to maintain eye contact with the way your lids begged to fall halfway, vision blurring with ecstasy, eyes rolling back-- but it didn't seem that Steve was worried about that right now. Through your fluttering lashes you couldn't help but admire his face. His tongue flicked out to wet his pink lips which were upturned in a proud grin, cheeks flushed while his hazy, coffee colored eyes traversed the bodies beneath him. His hair was dewy with sweat and falling in front of his face. Steve truly looked like a king.

  Your mouth moved before your brain could stop it. "I-I love you, daddy."

  Eddie hummed sweetly against you as Steve chuckled softly, not to make fun of you, but because it was so unexpected. That proud grin grew even wider. "I love you too, baby."

  Whether he was encouraged by your statement or just chasing his own high, the pace of Steve's thrusts picked up noticeably, fingertips boring deeply into Eddie's hips as he lost himself to the feeling. Your head spun as you experienced the shockwave of it, the way Eddie groaned, his long, skilled fingers reaching so deeply inside of you that you were seeing stars. Your mouth fell open in a string of unintelligible mewls as your second orgasm of the night snuck up on you. You clutched his curly hair at the roots, thighs closing tightly around his head as he savored every last drop of your arousal like he'd been starved of it.

  Eddie's lips pulled away from your throbbing clit with a soft pop, resting his cheek against your trembling thigh for brief moment of reprieve as he continued to rock back and forth at the pace of Steve's hips. You gently played with his hair, watching his big brown eyes, glazed over with pleasure, as they spaced out and focused in on nothing. If your muscles didn't feel like they were made of jelly at the moment, you might have repositioned yourself to kiss him, but would have to make do with what you could reach with your hands. You scratched his head softly, heart swelling as he leaned into your palm, and then you let your hand fall lower to brush the backs of your knuckles over his cheeks. He almost looked like he was falling asleep, until he peeked an eye up at you and chided lowly, "What, I don't get an 'I love you?'"

  You rolled your eyes with a smile, laughing breathlessly at his absurdity before relenting, "I love you, almighty Dungeon Master."

  He lazily nipped at your inner thigh with his teeth, his speech and breathing stilted with mind numbing pleasure as he replied in a blissed out whisper, "I love you too, dollface."

  Soon Steve's chest was heaving with uneven breaths and glistening with sweat, a peachy blush settling over his dewy skin. Pulling his bottom lip between his teeth, his eyes fell closed and his grip on Eddie grew even tighter, hips stuttering as he neared his own end. Finally he found it within himself to pull out at the last possible second, pearly cum spilling out over Eddie's back in ribbons. Almost precisely in sync Eddie shivered, teeth sinking into your flesh as his own seed drooled out into the sheets. 

  Bringing a hand up to fix his hair, Steve let out a quiet chuckle as he looked over the two of you on the bed, spread out completely boneless, covered in cum with twitching legs. "Look at you two," He joked. "What a mess. I just washed the bedding."

[darkwitchingflower]

ITS BEEN A WHILE but here's things me and my friends have said as pjo character pt 4/5???

Annabeth: That's not very feminism of you (@wraith--2)

Hestia: maybe build like a life size bread bloke (@carpcranium)

Leo: Feels like my toes are bleeding but it's just cause they're defrosting (@wraith--2)

Percy to annabeth: Nooo pookie don't leave ill get her a spider abortion (friend not on tumblr)

Annabeth: I thought I'd die before seeing common sense in this gc (friend not on tumblr)

Jason: It's not boring to want money and to not be even more mentally ill (@indecisivenb)

Leo: Sure bud (me)

Piper: Jesus was not straight (@wraith--2)

Some random camper in the dining pavillion: Hes staring into my soup (@wraith--2)

Leo: Everyone needs a piece of Leo (friend not on gc)

Leo: Me dehydrated: must not drink sex juice (@wraith--2)

Jason: Me and Percy cockfight like 3 times (@chefchennan)

Piper: Harry x hermione

Ron x jesus or smth

Luna x whoever tf she ended with? (Friend not on tumblr)

Mr D to someone being given a quest: You don't have a choice

They don't have a choice

It's equality all around (me)

Piper: Im not a people pleaser, im a woman pleaser (friend not on tumblr)

Jason (idk why but i instantly thought Jason): saggy balls? (@chefchennan)

Thalia: From your local asexual xx (@wraith--2)

Thalia: Homicide on Pinterest is an interest (@wraith--2)

Chiron: oh that's nice to see! A camper with a smile! (My criminology teacher)

Annabeth: ye I made percy smile by telling him I didn't like him in greek! (Friend not on tumblr)

Apollo: Will! Thoughts on be crime do gay?! (@carpcranium)

Thalia about Frank: Me and him are still friends we shoot kids together yesterday (@chefchennan)

Will doing some form of doctor test idk: I'm gonna skedaddle into your scrotum (@wraith--2)

Thalia: I f**king love garlic bread yummers. Its gotten so bad that I eat is everyday. I sweat garlic butter and shit out logs of bread. It's an endless cycle and I remake the garlic break with what I unleash (friend not on tumblr)

Percy to Annabeth (leo helped after frank found them in the stables): Thine eyes are blessed with the sight of her. Her.

Who I wake to every morning and think of

Who I dream of at night

Aphrodite has forsaken me yet she is my light

The waves will roar and crash

And I know, she is always up for a smash (@wraith--2)

Leo to literally any girl with a pulse: When I see her thoughts are gone

And all I can do is simply long

She could never be mine

Yet still I pine (@wraith--2)

Rachel thinking abiut percy: Days will pass and the sun shall set

All the while I'd place a bet

That I'm still there

Twirling my hair

Dreaming of something that was never fair (@wraith--2)

Thalia: is is the most fun I've had in ages, I'm trying to teach the bot aromanticisum (@wraith--2)

Thalia: As a matter of fact I am definitely aromantic but thanks for the suggestion (@wraith--2)

Leo, he meant to say floppy disks: Have you ever seen one of those floppy dicks-...🤏 (friend not in tumblr)

Mr D: Anyways orgies (@wraith--2)

Will to Nico: She's like nah, no love hearts have an onion were like Shrek now (me)

Percy: When I go to sleep I'm going to dream about gay sea creatures aren't I? (@wraith--2)

Annabeth: It's okay I'm a big girl I cry into my pillow (@wraith--2)

Annabeth: ohhh right in the trust issues (@thatonelazyghost)

[jiyansthesis]

THERE'S ONE ☆ BED?!

MICHAEL ☆ AFTON

x reader (gender neutral)

summary: not only did you and michael have to run in the rain to the nearest hotel after missing the last bus, there was only one bed and one blanket

I LOVE ENEMIES TO LOVERS

yall do not know how unbelievably mad I am bc tumblr won't let me reply to your comments smh I SEE THEM N I SWEAR I'D RESPOND IF I COULD

not proofread

you scowled, water dripping down your hair and creating a small puddle on the floor. shivering, as you paid the person at the front desk.

michael was also in the same boat as you, clearly annoyed as he strung out the rain from his jacket.

"think you could pay faster? I'm not getting sick today," michael scoffed.

"hey, dipshit, tell that to her," you pointed at the woman taking her time looking for a key to give you.

he rolled his eyes, and as soon as the lady held the key out, he snatched it and made his way to the hallway of rooms.

you thanked the attendant and rushed after him.

michael hurridly unlocked the door and swung it open, only to stand there in confusion.

"what's wrong?" you asked, and then you saw it once you made it to the door.

"oh, for fucks sake."

☆

the two of you had took hot showers, but only after arguing who would go first. you had decided you were just going to take the clothes that the hotel had graciously offered you and make a break for the bathroom.

he definitely was pouting by the time you came back, jacket and shirt discarded.

you jumped in surprise at him being shirtless and turned around.

"hurry up and get into the shower," you tried to not look at him as you hung your wet clothes in the closet.

he laughed and only when you heard the door shut did you let out a breath of relief and sink onto the bed.

"man, he really does work out," you said to yourself.

"I heard that!" michael called from the shower.

"heard what?" you yelled back, embarrassed.

he needs to stop laughing.

☆

"I can sleep on the floor," he offered as the two of you sat on opposite sides of the bed.

"as much as I hate you, I'm pretty sure this floor is super dirty." you flung you legs onto the bed, laying down. "we'll just put a pillow in-between us."

"why? can't handle yourself?" he smirked.

you raised an eyebrow. "you wish. I couldn't handle myself when I was with your dad."

you let out a snicker as his eyes widened.

"maybe you should be the one to sleep on the floor." michael grabbed the blanket and pulled it over himself.

"I'll think about it," you said as you took the blanket from him.

he whined and tried taking it back.

"turn off the lights first, and I'll let you have it back." no you weren't.

he furrowed his eyebrows and got up, walking over to the light switch like a kid putting back something they really wanted.

the room turned dark, and michael jumped onto the bed.

"now give me the blanket."

"never," you rolled yourself up in the blanket so he couldn't take it from you.

"I will personally throw you on you the floor," he threatened.

"I bet you-" you let out a screech as michael grabbed onto you and began unrolling you.

"THIS IS MY BLANKET!" you tried getting away from him.

"psh, we both paid for this room. it's whoever keeps it." he kept unraveling the blanket.

you began thrashing around until michael crawled on top of you and straddle you so you wouldn't be able to stop him.

"this is going to be my blanket."

you tried to stop him, but he successfully managed to get the sheet and cheered.

and that's when the two of you noticed the position you were in.

"oh shit, my bad," he scrambled off of you as you felt your face heat up.

"it's alright," you responded, flipping over to look at the wall, back to him.

the next few minutes were silent until michael threw a bit of the blanket onto you, scooting closer.

"you looked cold," he mumbled.

"thanks," you turned over to face him. you didn't realize how close he was. your lips were almost touching, and you could see a few freckles dotting his cheeks.

"think you need that pillow now?" he teased.

you hmmphed, "I think we both know what's about to happen. just kiss me already."

he acted like he was thinking about it.

"and why should I?"

instead of answering him, you closed your eyes and pressed your lips against his for a second before turning back around.

"because now I won't kiss you for longer than that."

"hey, I'm sorryyyy," he shook you, but you were fake snoring.

"pleaseeee," he begged.

you looked towards him to see him giving you puppy dog eyes.

"who could say no to that?"

[cleolinda]

Creepypasta: The Dionaea House (2004-2006)

I wanted to post a few of my favorite creepypasta/Weird Internet Fiction stories this month, so of course one of the first I looked up was "The Dionaea House." Dated somewhere back around 2004-2006, it's one of the earliest entries in the genre; I’m not sure how many people know about it now, but Back in the Day, it was one of the creepypasta classics. Then, while researching all this, I discovered to my utter astonishment that it was written by Eric Heisserer—who wrote the Oscar-nominated screenplay for Arrival and is currently best known here, I'd bet, as the show runner of Netflix’s Shadow and Bone.

Years ago, the story was at dionaea-house.com (now offline), and it was the kind of thing you'd stumble across somehow—maybe on a friend's recommendation, maybe from a forum discussion—and then lose yourself in for a whole afternoon. It starts out as the story of a fictionalized Eric posting the emails of an old buddy, Mark, who's trying to figure out why their friend Drew... snapped. And "Eric" is posting these emails because Mark now has disappeared. And before too long... someone else has to pick up the story. Because it turns out that, at the heart of the mystery, there is a house, and going to that house is a mistake. I would describe it a little like House of Leaves, except also smelling like cake, and projecting out to multiple locations rather than pulling you into one infinite labyrinth. Also, a shit ton easier to read.

Relatively speaking, at least. "The Dionaea House" started out as “emails” posted on a blog at that original URL [unofficial mirror], then spun out into a Blogspot, an AIM chat, two separate Livejournals, and multiple commenters interacting on them. Some of them seem to be strangers walking in off the street, as it were, but the trick is, we don’t know which commenters are part of the story, which gives the “flesh puppet” comments, for example, a weird jolt of realism:

(I would like to think “TELL THE HOUSE TO FUCK OFF” is one of the in-story commenters, honestly; I like to think this is who I’d be in a horror story.)

So while "The Dionaea House" doesn't have the single-minded realism of "Ted the Caver," the blog-and-comment format—a found document subgenre for the 21st century—also allows for multiple perspectives. (I’ve lost count of the number of protagonists the house consumes, but it’s at least three, maybe four.) Tumblr is currently in year two of the Dracula Daily read-along, and I’ve always argued that Dracula was a techno-thriller for the nineteenth century: correspondence, newspaper articles, diaries, and even audio journaling on a phonograph. Emails, blogs, chats, phone messages, comments, and an article about the murder-suicide that starts the story—“The Dionaea House” is pretty much in the same multi-perspective, multimedia genre. Unlike Stoker’s bound novel, however, “The Dionaea House” wanders the physical space of the internet, and it trusts that either you'll see that the story has a new branch, or you won't, and that's okay.

In fact, I'm not sure if Eric Heisserer didn't know how to bring the story to a conclusion, or he got busy and couldn't keep going—or maybe there is an ending and I just never found it. (The Loreen Mathers blog doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me and seems like one giant loose end, although the mention of engineer-occultist Jack Parsons adds a new dimension at the last minute.) But as with "Ted the Caver," the lack of a concrete ending makes sense for a shaggy dog story like this, as frustrating as it might be. Maybe Loreen got got, just like everyone else! Isn’t “disappearing before explaining what the hell she’s talking about” exactly what that would look like? We don’t know! If there's a scary house and you manage to burn it down to the ground in a complex denouement, that's a story. If there's a scary house out there, somewhere, and we'll never know how it came to be or what happened to the people who tried to take it on—that's a creepypasta. That’s a legend.

[emojellyace08]

Hiya been long time no ask and I am sure I gonna be gone for a long time since my college day gonna start on Monday huhuh but I still look and heart around in tumblr.

So here a requesti, since today update of lookism we been granted by ptj of Gun on with bath towel. "I just thought damn does abs and muscles". I am curious what is the headcannon of y/n being muscle enthusiasts.

Basically they are a character of (Dumbbell Nan Kilo Moteru?) Name Souryuuin Akemi.

(Bet Gun recuirt her as his assistant and tracker of his health diet and muscle density lol)

Gun Park x Female! Reader (Do you want to see it closer?)

A/N: SHEESH This is actually a great idea xD. Since you asked for some somewhat spicy Gun x reader, I'm going to give you some and Idk if this can satisfy you but I hope you still like it and sorry for the late reply (good luck on your college day!) Genre: somewhere between fluff and slight lemon (not too explicit) Slight warnings: slight nsfw post reader is female (and is in an established relationship ; character x reader)

It's been months since you have seen your boyfriend. You tried to contact him but you've received voice mails instead which can be irritating for your part. You've been really worried about him getting into crazy shit again. No video calls, no messages, heck you haven't even received a single greeting like "hello" or "good morning". It really makes you worried a lot about Gun. You know he's strong. You know that he's a one man circle, but your girlfriend instincts always gets the better of you. You want to convince him to quit his job since it might put him more into potential danger in the future, but getting to know him better made you realize that even he is a masochist. He really has the passion and lust for fighting so you couldn't really stop him no matter how times you wanted to. It can also ignite a really bad argument so it's better if you just let him be. But he promised that he will take care of himself though.

It was 8 in the morning when you woke up early again in your gloomy and dark apartment. You encouraged yourself to slump yourself on the cozy and soft bed of yours. But no matter how many efforts you tried you thinking about that bastard again just makes you groan, you're craving for caffeine again.

Fixing the blinds, you winced as the sunlight made it's way to shine your eyes. It's not particularly sunny, but the sky and atmosphere is not too dreadful either. In fact it's the perfect weather for you. You got up to prepare and fix the coffee mixer and make your drink. It took minutes of you tapping your finger on the marble table humming your favorite song while you watch the machine, you being lost at your own thoughts. After minutes, you were mixing the hot drink on your mug before you heard the door open, you seeing your mentally exhausted boyfriend. Fucking bastard didn't even knocked on the door.

"Where have you been?" you asked in a concerned tone as he focuses his attention on you making eye contact. His black sclera were still intimidating to look at, but they weren't exactly too threatening. "Business" he bluntly replied not intentionally being rude, Gun was just like that all the time. You were about to ask more questions before he approached you while hugging you back and leaving wet pecks on your neck while caressingly touching your waist pulling you closer to him. "I'm sorry that I don't have time for you." "Hmm." you hummed as you drank the mix of sweet and bitter mixture. "You're not angry?" "Umm no? Why would I? It's your job to work for Charles." you playfully denied as he pulled you even closer, he knows that you're lying behind that pretty face but he understands and you have a point though. And hearing that old man's name really pisses him off at some point, but it coming from your pleasant voice makes him a bit calmer. "I'm going to take a shower" he mumbled as he buries his face on you even more. "Aren't you tired?" you asked as he chuckled, "Never have been."

Tapping your shoulder you watched him as he walked on the corridor and into your shared bedroom. It's his daily routine for him to go home and wash up first before cuddling and chatting with you on the bed. You went inside to prepare his clothes before seeing your half naked boyfriend, his scars showing up into his back but you couldn't care less. In your eyes, he's perfect.

"Looking at something?" you snapped at your own thoughts as you can see Gun's teasing grin as you laughed at him, your voice being gentle with a mix of tiredness on it. "Yeah" "You want to see it closer?" he teased you even more as you approached him as you hugged him from the back, you being obviously smaller than him. "You still look pretty even if you got lots of scars." "I know." he replied as you stayed like this, cuddling with him for a few minutes. He turned around to face you as he leaned in to give you a kiss, your tongue getting entangled from each other. The kiss wasn't really aggressive, but the way his tongue gently danced with yours is enough to make your underwear wet again. His hands were travelling to your face, slowly making it's way to your waist. Your clumsy ones are doing the same, it's playfully teasing his chest up into his abs. You weren't exactly that person who only relies on looks. But seeing your boyfriend properly taking care of his health makes you appreciate the effort he's doing to get stronger.

"Wow, you're getting more sturdy." you half joked as your eyes trailed down to his body. It wasn't necessarily in a lewd way, but it's just you being appreciative. And with this, Gun can't help but to be proud of himself. He managed to make himself physically pleasing so you also don't have to worry about his health. "Do you want to go to the gym tomorrow?" he asked as he leans closer to you with his hands still clinging on your waist. "Hmm... Sure, I got nothing else to do and it's best if we can check our BMI together." you liked his offer as both of your mouth curl into a smile as he pecks your soft cheeks making you chuckle. You got to enjoy your loves holding and kissing you like this.

A/N: Sorry if this is not up for your standards and it's so late (I'm doing my homework while procrastinating lol :)

[sing-you-fools]

Hi, I saw your post that Neil liked. I am sorry but I haven't read Terry's works and I'm curious, how do his themes in works connect to your post? Because you started the post saying you were thinking about his themes. So how exactly does it connect to what you have realized? I didn't quite understand. Thanks!

so i finally figured out how to access my inbox. sorry if it's been a little while!

i definitely wasn't expecting more than ten or so people to see that post, and i'm very much on the Discworld Side of Tumblr, so i didn't bother explaining. then person number 8 to like the post was @neil-gaiman himself, so...it went differently than i expected. so, sure! i'll do my best.

my first piece of advice is to read Terry Pratchett. and if you specifically want to understand what i mean in my other post, read the Witches books starting with Wyrd Sisters, or skip straight to Witches Abroad (Discworld books typically stand well on their own, though the more you've read, the more you'll pick up on). look up the Discworld Reading Order Guide 3.0 for further instruction. (it'll tell you to start with Equal Rites for the Witches, and you can, but it's less the first book in the Witches series and more the book the Witches series spun off from. personally, i like to treat it as a standalone prequel.)

in the Witches series, cackling is what happens to witches when they're too isolated and don't talk to other witches enough. they start to get a little unhinged. it shows in small ways at first, but it can get dangerous if it goes too far. specifically, the one time we actually see a cackling witch, she's forcing the world around her into literal fairy tale plots (sound familiar?). so when i said Aziraphale is cackling, i was drawing a connection to that specific book - i don't think Aziraphale is that far gone, but he's desperate and he's pushing things into a shape they're not supposed to be. he's so desperate for his happy ending, and i can't really blame him.

now, drawing this out to Pratchett's larger body of work - the thing to understand is that he was a master of archetypes. you know Aziraphale's "not just a southern pansy, the southern pansy!" line? that's all Pratchett's main characters. Vimes isn't just a bastard cop, he's the bastard cop. Moist is the slippery conman. and the witches, they're the three witches. the maiden, the mother, and...the other one. (there's always a twist, of course. archetypes without a twist would get boring.)

and he works with these archetypal plots, too - again, especially with the witches. and an overarching theme is that the characters need to work with the narrative they're in to bring it to a conclusion. if their solutions try to fight the shape of the story, they don’t work. the most common element on the Disc is narrativium, which serves to ensure that stories follow the narrative. stick to the proper shape. it, for example, forces Granny Weatherwax to be the good twin when her sister went dark side even though she wanted to be the evil one, because there has to be a good twin, because that's how stories work.

(as a writer, i can only imagine this was at least partially inspired by how hard it is to get your characters to do what you want them to.)

so, taking it back to Aziraphale. he's fighting the story they're actually in so hard, forcing it into another shape entirely. that was never going to work, because Good Omens is a Terry Pratchett story. it's a Neil Gaiman story, too, obviously, and Pratchett may not be here to help write it anymore, but Neil knows how to write a Terry Pratchett story, and he's not about to let his friend's spirit disappear from this world they created together. narrativium may not exist in Roundworld (Earth), but i'd bet it exists in heaven and hell, and probably Aziraphale's shop.

QUICK SNEAKY EDIT: if you're wondering if you should read more Pratchett, the humor in Good Omens is very much reflective of his writing

[fluffyhare]

Like Real People Do, Part 5! ♡ (Casper x Avery)

☁️ Summary: Avery is curious about tickling, which he's never experienced. Casper can hardly contain himself. Both are a bit nervous -- can they find a way to break the ice?

☁️ Warnings: Ler!Casper, Lee!Avery, VERY SUGGESTIVE, LOTS OF TEASING, SUPER SUPER GAY, NO MINORS!

☁️ Author's Note: This is probably the most self-indulgent thing I've ever shared with Tumblr, and if you can believe it, I didn't even go as far as I wanted to, and I am planning on continuing this scene ahh-

This is a series now!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5 *you are here

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

If you just got here and want to know more about my characters, you can read my comic starting right here!

“So… how do you want me?”

We were standing at the foot of my neatly made, queen-sized bed. Avery was so tall that day, I wondered if his feet would hang off the end; it was going to be close. Biting my lip, I was helpless but to imagine him lying on his back, arms over his head as I straddled his waist, his boisterous laughter filling the room. How did I want him? How did I not? 

I turned to look at him, still dressed in his cold-weather day clothes. He hadn't even taken off his sweater, yet. 

“Well, you won't be very comfortable wearing that outfit. You might… get a bit warm. Did you bring anything to sleep in?”

“Warm, huh? You must have big plans for me,” he quipped, catching me off guard, and then added with a giggle before I could respond, “just playing; I’ll go change.”

As clothing shuffled on the other side of the bathroom door, I was grateful for the hum of my AC unit to cushion the silence. Just listening felt intrusive, but my apartment was so small, there was no way to give him more privacy. Leaning against the wall of my bedroom, I looked down at my socked toes flexing against the carpet. I’d never seen Avery's bare feet before. I'd never seen most parts of his body; in the few months I'd known him, he'd never worn anything more revealing than his standard short sleeve button-up and slacks, even in the summer. Sheepishly, I wondered what his belly looked like; I bet it was as soft as the rest of him, maybe even softer. I wondered if I'd be able to see the mysterious storm inside of him more clearly on a bigger canvas. I imagined his ribs, his sides, his underarms… how ticklish was each spot? Was he squirmy? Squeaky? Was he the type to hold his giggles in until he couldn't stand it anymore…? 

I whimpered, fidgeting impatiently as I tried to resist the urge to imagine him further; I was beginning to sweat, and we hadn't even started yet. Graciously, I did not have to wait long – hearing the bathroom door open, I peeked around the corner. 

Avery emerged wearing a sky-blue tank top and matching plaid flannel pants. Like some Victorian-era aristocrat spying an uncovered ankle for the first time, I blushed at the sight of his smooth, white shoulders and biceps. His skin had the appearance of marble, albeit with a slight translucency; like thick smoke trapped in a bottle, I could barely make out the billowing, swirling texture beneath.

“Ah… I stole these clothes. It was before we met,” said Avery, bashfully.

I took a moment to gather myself. “Oh, th-that’s okay. Walmart has enough money, you know? And, that blue looks very nice on you.” 

A much lighter shade of blue colored his pallid cheeks. “Oh, thank you! You told me before that you liked when I wore this color, so… I thought you might like it.”

A brief silence passed between us.

“So, dewdrop… do you want me to just lay down?” 

The tension was palpable. I was desperate to break the ice. 

“Sure, just get comfortable. And, geez… don't be so tense!” I paused, exhaling a held breath, and appreciating the irony that I was also very tense. I summoned my strength to say the next few words out loud: “T-tickling is supposed to be fun, you know? You're not nervous, are you? It's just me… little pipsqueak Casper,” I reassured him, offering a shy smile. “I'm not gonna torture you, okay? We'll go slow.” 

Avery smiled back, but I was still sensing a bit of trepidation. “Ah… I guess I am a little nervous. I mean, I'm excited, too! I just know this is important to you, and… I'm worried I won't… meet your expectations.” He trailed off, growing quiet at the end as he looked away from me. 

Avery's expression crushed me like a piece of hard candy. I closed the gap between us, placing my hands on his bare shoulders. 

“You worry so much about disappointing me, and yet you never have, not one time. Avery, there is no way you could react that would change how I feel about you. Even if it turns out that you hate being tickled. Hell, I'm… I'm grateful you're even willing to try this with me,” I comforted, gently stroking my thumb along his skin. “If you don't like it, nothing will change. We'll just get some ice cream, watch another movie and cuddle until it's time for bed. Okay?” 

He smiled at me, then; a real smile, and he seemed to relax a bit, too. “Thanks, dewdrop.” 

“Anytime, cutie. Now go get comfortable, and we'll see if this pipsqueak can give you a giggle or two.” 

+++ 

I inhaled deeply as a stream of cool vapor filled the room. Keeping a humidifier in my apartment was a necessity when Avery was around, especially during the dryer months. He liked when I used scented oil, too; today it was lavender, but I could still detect the scents of old books and wet stone on Avery's skin as he laid beside me. I sat at his hip on the bed, legs folded pretzel-style as I placed my hands on his tummy, over his shirt. 

“I’m just gonna rub a bit first, okay?” I didn't want to catch him off guard – I'd never touched Avery like this before. Sure, I'd rubbed his back or arms occasionally while cuddling, but I'd never intentionally touched a “classic tickle spot” with intent, the way I was about to. 

“Ah, okay…” He relaxed a bit, sinking into the bed as my hands rubbed his belly, over his shirt. Through the thin fabric, his skin was cool and soft against my palms. I felt a slight vibration as he hummed; he seemed to be enjoying it. As I caressed near where his belly button would be, Avery’s face scrunched a bit, and he shifted slightly against the bed. 

“Holy shit, already?” I thought. My heart was going crazy. 

“What's wrong?” I asked, the faintest lilt in my voice. 

“I, ah, felt something… different…“ He said, a little breathlessly. I watched his blush deepen, soft blue spreading across his face. 

“Hehe, if this is already making you squirm, you're probably super ticklish,” I said, and then grew a bit bolder, “you ready to try a real tickle, now?”

It seemed he mustered a bit of confidence, himself, because his response caught me off guard:

“Do your worst, dewdrop.” His eyes were teasing; even a bit challenging. Where did this come from?! 

Despite my furious blush, I did all I could do: respond in kind. 

“Oh, my worst? Alright, you asked for it, Nimbus!” 

With that, my fingers went from flat to clawed, and I began to wiggle them into Avery's soft tummy. It was far from my worst; I knew he didn't even understand what he’d asked for, and I didn't want to overwhelm him. Nonetheless, his response validated my suspicions. 

Avery's back arched off the bed, his fingers splaying out as his hands rested at his sides. His cheeks puffed up as his face scrunched even more, and I could see him fighting a smile that threatened to break into a laugh at any second. His blush was so vibrant now, his glasses were fogging up. Noticeably absent, though, was any effort to stop me. 

My god.

Something awoke inside me, and I let it take control. 

“What's wrong, cupcake~? I thought you wanted my worst, and this is still far from it. Doesn't look like you're handling it too well, are you? Are you just a little ticklish here? Why don't you tell me~?” My words were saturated with teasing. Though I wasn't inexperienced with tickling, I'd had very few opportunities to be the tickler in the past, and that side of me clearly ached to come alive. Despite practically trembling with nervous energy, there was no reasoning with the demon; it was hungry, and Avery was the first meal it’d had in years. 

“I- kehehe… I c- ahahaha!” He tried to respond, his words both laced with and interrupted by laughter at each attempt. My fingers jumped around to different spots on his belly – scribbling below his navel, gently pinching his sides, wiggling all ten into his softness at the center, never letting him adjust to the sensation. It was immediately clear just how uncontrollable his giggles were; Avery laughed as though he didn't expect to, and was being ambushed by just how ticklish he was. 

“Awwww, who knew clouds were this ticklish? C'mon, I know you've got a big laugh in there… let's hear it, hm? Do I need to try a different spot, maybe?” I taunted, moving my hands up to his chest, my digits now formed into wide claws as I gently dug my fingertips into his ribs. 

“PFFFff hehehehahaha!” He cried, and for the first time, he moved his hands. I was expecting him to grab my wrists – instead, he used them to cover his now wildly-flushed face. My heart melted. How was he this cute?! 

“Aww, don't hide from me! I want to see you laughing up a storm!” I joked, unable to resist giggling along with him; his unrestrained laughter was infectious. It seemed my weather-related wordplay had quite the effect on Avery as well, as his laughter spiked significantly.

“Don't sahahahahay THAHAHhahahat!” he whined through his cackling, hands still firmly covering his blushing face. He squirmed beneath my fingers, which still randomly and playfully spidered along his ribcage. Considering his laughter was practically bouncing off the walls, he stayed remarkably still as I tickled him; I wondered if it was because he enjoyed it? 

“Hehehe, aww, what's wrong? Was the weather teasing a little too close to home? Listen, being this ticklish is snow laughing matter,” I continued to taunt, twisting the knife as my fingers switched to dancing up and down his plush, unguarded sides. Avery roared with laughter. 

“AHAHAHhahah! STAHAHAHAP!” He begged, and I instantly stilled my fingertips. Still hiding his face, Avery's chest heaved as he caught his breath, exhales fluttering with soft giggles. I tenderly stroked the curves of his head, and as I did, I felt a curious tingle in my fingers – then, I noticed for the first time that tiny sparks of electricity were shooting off from his skin. 

“Are you okay? I didn't mean to overwhelm you,” I said, afraid for a moment that I had gone too far. 

I watched as he lowered his hands and looked at me. He was beaming; the edges of his flushed face practically glowed with humming electricity. 

“That was so much fun! I can see why you like it so much.” His huge grin revealed a row of delicate, round teeth.

“I am so glad you liked it! Gosh, Avery, you are so ticklish. In fact, I bet you're ticklish everywhere.” 

“Ooh, can we find out?”

I stared at him. I had never said it out loud, but in that moment, I was sure I couldn't possibly love him more. 

“Oh, don't worry – the night is young, and I've got lots more weather puns I can't wait to try on you.” 

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Do you people ever go through comedycv.co.uk? Because going to that link and just clicking through has become one of my regular hobbies. You know how there always posts going around Tumblr about how it's sad that the old internet is lost? Well did you know there's some old internet that's very much still online, and it has summaries of comedians' careers, frozen in time at the exact point when they became too successful to need to keep updating it?

I enjoy clicking on random pages of comedians I've never heard of, to find out what was going on back then. But it's even more interesting to look at the pages for comedians I know about, and see what was the most recent accomplishment listed, at what point they stopped worrying about this website. In many cases, it's when they became famous enough for it to not matter. In the cases of younger comedians, it's when time moved on enough for this bit of the old internet to become irrelevant in the face of social media. But the website's still up. One of those things that it seems like should be gone, but everyone's forgotten it's there so no one's remembered to take it down. I love finding things like that. Though I do have an occasional track record of sharing those things on Tumblr and then someone involved in it comes across my Tumblr post and then it gets taken down as a result of me sharing it. Okay that only happened once but it was enough to freak me out, hopefully this one Tumblr post doesn't get an entire website taken down. Pretty sure I don't personally have the power to bring down an entire website.

I mean, obviously there have to be exceptions to people whose Comedy CV page stopped updating when they got too famous to need it, and people whose page stopped updating when the rise of social media made it irrelevant. And that would be the person whose Comedy CV page kept getting updated while he was with an agent who made him do things like that, and then dropped it the moment he was allowed to have one of those public entertainment careers where you get really angry about members of the public knowing you exist:

The quotes about his comedy, all of them praise and not a single bit of the Lee-esque ironic self-deprecation that I'd expect in a situation like this, continue for almost a whole other page. It's significantly longer than most of the other ones.

Not a single mention of Mock the Week, that's how old this one is:

"Alex Horne and his assistant Tim Key"

Here's a less fun thing about comedy advertising pages that are so old: defining women in a male-dominated environment by their competition with other women. That's something you still see today and it sucks, but it doesn't happen constantly anymore the way it used to. Like Danielle Ward being "one of the few female satirists", rather than just a very good comedian who performs satire. Not that I'm blaming Danielle Ward for this, I assume she didn't write that herself, and it's the way marketing was encouraged.

And Josie Long, on the other hand is, "unnaturally far from girlie adolescence". Don't worry, she's not shit like all those other female comedians (again, not Josie Long's fault, I can't imagine this was her idea). Her page must be really old, as it doesn't mention winning the Perrier Newcomer Award in 2006.

When I first started clicking through these, I saw Ahir Shah's name and thought, I bet that'll be weird, since even the older comedians - as in, the Chocolate Milk Gang-era ones - have much younger pictures of themselves on here. Ahir Shah is young (at least I hope he is, at least compared to some people, since he's my age), so a younger picture of him will be really young. I thought that before I opened his page for the first time, but I still wasn't remotely prepared for what I saw there:

On the subject of small children who were born in the same year as me, did you know that Daniel Sloss met Frankie Boyle once?

Long list of credits, even with no Thick of It yet. Not even Gash. God, imagine a world without Armando Iannucci's Gash. What a sad world.

Awww...

Sorry, why has Roisin Conaty never mentioned her Monopoly Woman character in anything I've seen?

Love that highly rough around the edges comedian Rhod Gilbert has a professionally written essay in his description, and a picture of himself in business attire.

Oh, sorry, Stewart, I thought you were all counterculture and don't do mainstream advertising? What are you doing here looking like a movie star and with not a single ironic self-deprecating quote?

A couple of years ago now, in a journey somewhat similar to the Comedy CV one, I went through all these old Edinburgh programs, and I learned that there are an amazingly large number of terrible pictures of Russell Howard that got used in official promo between about 2004 and about 2009 (there are not just in old programs, also in old articles about him, it's remarkably consistent). I don't know why, but for some reason Russell Howard did not give a single good picture of himself to any official sources during those years. This was one of those terrible pictures, used in the Edinburgh Fringe 2005 poster for his show Skylarking, which is something I know off the top of my head because I have spent too much time reading old Edinburgh programs. Again, no mention of Mock the Week, so this is older than his start on that. But newer than his 2005 show, so that dates it pretty specifically.

"Russell has twice toured as the special guest of Perrier Award Winner, Daniel Kitson." Amazingly grandiose way to refer to doing tour support.

On that subject, I'm going to stop pretending I didn't primarily use this to look up Chocolate Milk Gang members, and show you the main ones from that. Zaltzman has a page that's so long I had to cut a little bit of it off even by spreading it across two screenshots:

There's a quote praising him by Dominic Maxwell in there, then a humble Metro reviewer, who many years later would be with The Times and call Andy John Oliver's "left-behind sidekick". What a dick.

Andy's page has gone beyond just a curiosity to me, and has helped me a bit with some of my completism. You get things on these pages that, once they got bigger, seemed to small to ever mention again. So you might only know the comedian had done those things if you find stuff that was written when they were small enough for those little things to seem like a bigger deal. I've been trying to track down his episode of Live Floor Show ever since reading it on there, which I've never seen mentioned anywhere else. Andy Zaltzman's page is written like a genuine CV, which is helpful.

And at this point I should stop pretending this whole post has been anything besides an excuse to show you this picture of John Oliver when he had long-ish hair and the career of a baby:

John Oliver's episode of People Like Us is 2x05, from 2001, and that description calls it "the new series of People Like Us", so that tells you when that was written. This page was also helpful for the completest in me, when I did things like make a compilation of John Oliver's scenes from the early 00s when he appeared in one scene of one episode each of several different sitcoms:

I haven't even scratched the surface with this post of the amusing things on that Comedy CV site, everyone go look at the adorable old picture of Joe Lycett. I promise, mindlessly clicking through the links is a great way to spend an afternoon.

[buddiebeginz]

It's Pride month. They were always going to post that scene at some point during Pride, it's Buck's coming out moment. What surprises me is they left the dialogue intact, which is 100% Eddie centric. I thought for sure they would remove the dialogue and just play a song over it. It's actually odd they didn't do it that way. Also, re the BT shippers "flooding' the comments, it's the same 300 names that comment on each post. I promise you the show knows that. They're aware that sect of the fandom is small. We should absolutely make Buddie comments, and plenty are, but I promise they're aware they're only seeing the same names over and over again. If we noticed it, they've definitely noticed it.

The real question is...which pro Buddie post is Oliver's burner account? You know he's there 😂

I know what you're saying anon though I'll still keep making posts trying to get people out there talking about Buddie. Even though I think Tim and ABC know how popular Buddie continues to be I still think it's important people see more of us than that part of fandom. Plus it's not just people involved with the show but also people who are new to the fandom too. I've seen newbies to 911 asking B/T stans about the show and I really want to message them and be like these are some of the worst people to introduce you to 911. I've seen B*mmys say that season 1 doesn't matter and you can just skip it when you start the show. Which to me just further proves how little they care about Buck. You can't really know him as a character if you don't watch his whole journey at least once.

Oliver said recently that he has a secret twitter so I definitely think he probably has other accounts we don't know about. I bet he even has a tumblr although I'm scared at even the possibility of him and Ryan seeing some of the headcanons on here. 😱 But Mr. Oliver "I cry over Buddie fanwork in the shower" Stark is definitely going around checking out the stuff we make of them. One thing for sure his blog isn't a B*mmy blog cause I think he hates that ship even more than we do. 😝