#but I specially want the light novel and I can’t fucking find it

[daydreaming-nerd]

The Bonds That Break Us (Rhysand x Female! Reader) Part 4

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3, Part 5, Part 6, Final Part

Request: "Would you do a Rhysand x fem!reader series? Maybe fem!reader is Rhysand's mate and Tamlin's sister? So secret love?"

AN: food's ready, come dish up guys

Summary: It was almost as if the cauldron liked to play games, as if it had sensed years of boredom and predictability and begged to be entertained. Its method of absolving its melancholy? Mate the High Lord of the Night Court to the younger sister of the High Lord of Spring. 

Warnings (so far): SMUT (consensual), oral (female receiving), intercourse, dirty talking, unprotected sex, masturbation, mind speak sexting?, physical abuse, mentions of SA.

Word count: 6993

(all photos are from pinterest)

That night, after Rhysand reclothed me, we talked about the future and how Tamlin needed to know, before things got messy with Eris or before he finds out and flips. All I had to do now was wait for the opportune time, which never seemed to come as Tamlin and Tarquin had been having tension. It seemed that part of the Spring Court’s lands on the border were prime farming spots for some of the spices that the farmers in the Summer Court grew. Tarquin had asked Tamilin to purchase the land and of course when Tamlin said no things started to get messy. Tamlin would go out and negotiate daily, and everyday he would come home angry. 

Tonight was no exception.

 I was sitting in one of the tea rooms reading my book when I heard him come home. The front door slammed, shaking the house, and then his office door slammed even harder.

I flinched. 

It has been like this for three days now. I looked at the clock on the wall and figured it was better for me to retire to my room with my novel for the night. 

I barricaded my door just for safety and crawled under the covers lighting a candle so that I could pick up where I left off. The main characters had finally confessed their love for one another and things were starting to get steamy. My eyes flitted across a particularly hot line and I felt my toes curl without warning once again. I should’ve known I was going to feel a little tug at the bond, but I was unprepared for the taut pull Rhysand gave me. 

Up late reading your dirty books mate? 

“Yes, I just needed the distraction,” I replied.

Did you tell your brother yet? 

I felt a pang of guilt, he had been waiting so dutifully for me to do so, and yet another day had passed where I was too scared, “I didn’t, he came home slamming doors and breaking vases again. I’m sorry Rhys.”

There’s no need to apologize. I want you to be safe after all. 

“Thank you for understanding,” I say sweetly

Of course mate. Now tell me what in this book has you all riled up? He says and I can hear his smirk. 

“A lady never kisses and tells,” I quip back. 

Ahh yes but ladies also don’t let strange men eat them out in secret rooms at balls. He says coolly. 

“Rhysand you little shit!” I laugh down the bond.

Come on my love, I’m dying to know what gets you off… Besides my tongue of course. 

I roll my eyes and try to send the emotion down the bond,  It’s nothing special really, he’s just fucking her, but he’s waited a while to do it so it’s extra steamy. I laugh. 

Poor bastard, I know the feeling. Rhys chuckles and I feel arousal flood between my legs. 

I can’t help but let my hand drift between my legs. Since Rhys touched me at the ball it’s all I’ve thought about (not that I would ever let him know). But suddenly the need for him has been so much stronger, I chalk it up to the mating bond strengthening, needing to be consummated.  I let my hand dip between my panties and I try to keep my emotions from flooding the bond, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing I could get off on his words alone. 

“Subtle Rhys,” I chuckle. 

I don’t need to be subtle, I told you exactly how it was going to go down that night at the ball did I not? 

My heart races and I let my finger on my clit speed up. 

“I suppose you’re right,” I say. 

Are you touching yourself darling? He purrs. 

Shit. 

“No,” I lie. 

You’re a terrible liar and you always have been, he chuckles.  I can feel you, my mate. 

“Damnit,” I curse, pulling my hand from my panties. 

Oh don’t you dare stop now, not when I’m currently fisting my cock. 

The image of Rhysand laying on his bed, naked, glorious and pumping his cock sends a wave of arousal straight through me and I practically scramble to shove my hands into my panties. 

Now tell me, are you playing with that beautiful little clit? The one I licked at the ball? 

Oh I was so in for it with this man, I was so utterly and terribly fucked. 

“Yes,” I admit quietly. 

Then I am terribly jealous of those delicate fingers. 

“Rhys,” I moaned back. It was all I could think about, him. 

Slip a finger in that tight little cunt won’t you darling? 

As stupid as it felt I did it, and god it felt good. Not as good as his felt, but it would have to do. 

“It doesn’t feel as good as you,” I say, trying to play the game. 

I hear him chuckle,  No my dear they don’t and they never will. 

“Are you close?” I ask, feeling my own orgasm coming. 

Let me hear those little begs again and I will be, he drawls. 

I know exactly what he means. After he feasted on me at the ball and I nearly jumped his bones afterwards. When he said he wanted to wait I pathetically let out a whine. 

“Please Rhys, I need you.” I plead. 

Fuck y/n, I hear him moan and it’s enough to make me hit my climax. 

“Oh fuck!” I cry down the bond. 

His own string of curses followed as he came himself and I could picture him lying there, chest sweaty and heaving, the aftermath of his orgasm all over him. It was almost enough to make me reach my hands down my panties again, almost. 

“So mind sex? That’s your thing?” I taunt him. 

A loud chuckle reverberates through my mind, No you’re my thing darling. 

“I’m flattered,” I laugh. 

A moment of silence passes and my chest continues heaving as I crawl further under the covers and blow out my candle. Romance book long forgotten. I sit in the quiet for a little longer waiting for Rhys to say something, until I finally speak up.

“Are you still there?” I ask timidly.

Always, simply catching my breath. How was your day today? 

“Boring, I don’t really have any friends here except my ladies maids and they are all terrible snoops. Tamlin has them in his back pocket.” I sigh. 

Just wait till you meet Nuala and Cerridwen, they’re snoops too. He laughs. 

“I can’t wait to,” I say.

I’m happy to finally hear you say that. He muses and I can practically feel his smile. 

“Well I better get some sleep. If I plan on telling Tamlin tomorrow I’ll need my wits about me.” I sigh. 

Goodnight darling, I love you.

There’s a hopefulness in his words. One I can’t meet. That phrase, ‘I love you’. I knew I should say it back. But I didn’t know what love meant. Didn’t know how it felt. I couldn't bring myself to return the sentiment. 

"Goodnight Rhys," was all I could say.

The next morning I woke up and Tamlin had already left, which was a damn shame because I would’ve liked to have told him before he had gone to fight with Tarquin all day. 

I paced most of the day in the tea room as I was beginning to grow antsy. Last night proved to me just how much I needed Rhysand, physically of course because of the bond. My skin was nearly sweating with need. I tried to read my book but it didn’t do much to help. I tried to go out and pick flowers for the dining table and it got me nowhere. To make matters worse it felt like Tamlin was gone for longer than usual as the darkness slid in, the moonlight shone, and all the lanterns and candles magically were lit.  

I started pacing in the foyer waiting for him to arrive home. Maybe he was taking so long because he had finally reasoned with Tarquin. I thought to myself. But as the doorknob jiggled and a fiery looking Tamlin came in I knew how dead wrong I was. 

“How was your meeting with Tarquin?” I asked, trying to seem sisterly, like that had ever won his affections. 

“Awful! The stubborn brute wants to take part of my land and only give me 20% of its profits per harvest!” he yells storming through the hall. I follow him. 

“20% isn’t bad, maybe you could show him what a generous High Lord you are by accepting the offer,” I chirped enthusiastically. 

“Are you out of your mind?” he whirls to look at me. “20% is cheap sister, not that you would ever have the mind for money. All you know how to do is spend mine.” 

“Tamlin, that's not fair and you know it.” I reason. 

“What does it matter anyways,” he rolls his eyes and begins storming off again. “You’ll be worth your weight in gold once you marry Eris and become his consort.” 

Fire boiled in my veins, “I already told you Tamlin, I don’t want to marry Eris. God how fucking selfish and cruel do you have to be to sell your sister off to a monster?!” I scream and as the words leave my mouth I already regret saying them. I had never been so bold in my life, at least not with Tamlin.

I don’t even have time to react before I feel a harsh slap across my face knocking me to the ground. “YOU ARE MY SISTER AND A WOMAN IN THIS COURT!” Tamlin screams at me. He picks me up by my hair, “and you will not question how I rule it.” 

Tears prick my eyes as the skin of my cheek burns. Tamlin releases my hair dropping my body to the ground and I’m left in a heap of tulle and tears as he slams his door. 

Are you okay? My mate calls into my mind.  

I press my cold hand to my cheek, “yeah I’m fine.” 

No you’re not, you're hurt. 

“I’m fine Rhys, it’s not bad,” I say, pulling myself up off the floor and winnowing to my room. 

What happened? 

I sigh, knowing he’ll badger me until he gets an answer. “I tried to get Tamilin to make amends with Tarquin so that he would be in a good mood and he hit me.” 

He hit you? I could hear him growling, feel the anger down the bond. 

“It’s really fine Rhys, I’m in my room now and I’m safe.” I say trying to calm him down. 

I’m going to fucking kill him y/n. I’m coming to get you right now. I’m not letting you stay there another minute. 

“Rhys please! Stop and be reasonable. If you barrel in right now it’s going to piss Tamlin off even more. He could hurt me or worse. We have to be civil about all this.” I reason with him. 

Fine, but no more after this y/n. I can’t stand it any longer. It’s killing me from the inside out. To know you’re in that horrible place. When you could be safe and warm here. 

“I promise I will figure this out, I just need time,” I assure him. 

I know you will, my beautiful strong mate.

“Tamlin hurry up, we're already late!” Lucien screams from the foyer. It was another council day and I had hoped that Tamilin would finally be able to reason with Tarquin.

Yesterday I went into town to shop for a new dress, it seemed I had exhausted all my other purple ones and I wanted more. I picked out a dress that was a far darker purple than any I had worn before. But it seemed fitting, seemed more Rhysand. 

“Let’s go,” Tamilin ordered entering the room in a huff. He peered at the dress I was wearing, “Purple again? I’d think you’ve grown tired of it by now.” 

Was this really his method of trying to make up for hitting me and yelling at me? Giving me a somewhat backhanded compliment?

“Viviane said that it was my color,” I replied, not entirely a lie. 

He didn’t say anything, just grabbed Lucien and winnowed us to the Night Court. 

I had no clue what to expect from the Night Court. I had never been before today. I had only ever heard stories. Stories of its darkness and its monsters. When we arrived I almost couldn’t believe that this is where Rhysand lived.

The large city under the mountain had a darkness to it, while faelights bobbed all around, it didn’t hide the darkness in the shadows that lingered. The city under the mountain was a metropolis, and it was terrifying with its large spires all around. Every surface is carved with lovely, hideous artwork: figures dance and fornicate, beg and revel. I was surprised Tamlin even allowed me to come with him today. 

We enter into a dimly lit chamber where all the Lords are already seated and waiting for us to arrive, Tamlin apologizes and chalks it up to me taking too long to primp, a lie of course. As my eyes scan the room I see only two chairs open and one happens to be next to Rhysand. I try to hide the smirk on my face as I take the seat next to him, forcing Tamlin to take the other one. 

You look ravishing as always. Croons Rhyand.

“Thank you, the dress is new,” I smile.

New and purple? You flatter me mate. He smirks. 

I chuckle down the bond, “Don’t flatter yourself too much, Vivianne said she liked me in purple as well.”

Well then I’ll have to thank Viviane later. He smiles. 

The council begins and just like I figured Tamlin and Tarquin laid into one another right away. All the other Lords but Rhysand and Kallias chimed in to solve the issue, but the winter and night court Lords seemed content to watch it all play out and I didn’t blame them. It took everything in me to not turn to the side to look at Rhys. His presence was so commanding especially in his own court and I had missed his face, those eyes, so much.

I felt a large hand being placed over my own under the table. 

You’re going to get me in trouble. I gripe at Rhys but flip my hand so I can hold his back.

Shh no one can see, I just wanted to feel you. 

Eventually the fighting dies down as the Lords end up forcing Tamlin to accept the deal Tarquin has offered and I try not to smile as my brother’s pissed off face. Turns out I was right and 20% isn’t such a low number after all. Rhys lets go of my hand to stand and address the room. 

“I think we’ve had more than enough political talk, why don’t we disband.” he states, and it sounds like his voice booms off the walls of the room. 

A murmur of agreement fills the room as the sound of obsidian chairs scratch the stone below, signaling that the lords are getting up. I feel a hand on my shoulder and I feel my stomach pit, is Rhysand stupid? But when I turn around I’m met with the raking stare of Eris Vanserra. 

“Hello my little fox, I was wondering if I might speak to you for a moment?” He asks, and I can practically feel Tamlin staring daggers into the side of my head.

“Yes of course my Lord,” I smile taking his arm. 

We promenade outside the council meeting room and into the hallway. I look up to find faint faelight glowing from large chandeliers, the walls are filled with tapestries and statues of people fucking and begging just like in the rest of the city. Large pillars shoot up from the aisles supporting the large room and I still wonder how Rhys could possibly live here. 

“I’m sorry for taking you away so soon, I know that you love to talk to Viviane, but I just had to see you,” Eris says. 

“No apologies necessary,” I reply, still taking in the sites around me. 

“I know that your brother and my father are still negotiating the terms of our marriage but I couldn’t wait to give you this,” he says before pulling a long black box out of his pocket, and opening it up. 

Inside lies a rather large and beautiful necklace. A huge golden crystal is attached by a string of glittering diamonds. If it was given to me by anyone else I would’ve thought it beautiful, but I knew it’s true meaning, it’s true purpose. It wasn’t just a piece of fine jewelry, it was a collar, meant to show everyone I belonged to Eris now. I took a mental deep breath. 

“Oh Eris, it’s beautiful!” I gasp, running my hands over the chain. 

“I knew you would like it,” he smiled. “Here allow me to help you put it on.” 

I turn around and feel him place the heavy jewel around my neck. The weight of it already making me feel shackled. His fingers dust over the nape of my neck fastening the clasp. He kisses my shoulder when he’s done and I feel his hands gently turning me around so he can see it on me. 

“It looks beautiful on you, like it was made for you,” he smiles, hand caressing my face.

“I love it, thank you,” I say, trying to hide my discomfort. 

“I promise you that when we are officially engaged you will have even bigger jewels,” he smirks, stepping forward even closer, causing me to step back. “And when we’re married even bigger jewels,” He croons and my back hits one of the many pillars. “But I’ll save the biggest and most expensive ones for when you bear me our first son.” he smirks and there’s nothing I can do to stop him from crashing his lips on mine.  

Eris kisses me hungrily and needily as my hands fly to the pillar my back is pressed on, any little movement to keep him farther away from me. His hands drop to wander my waist and I feel the entire room shudder causing pieces of dust to fly up everywhere. Eris pulls himself off of me. 

“What was that?” I ask afraid. 

“I’m not sure, I’ll go check,” Eris replies and he leaves me to run back to the council chambers to confer with the rest of the Lords. 

  I step forward from the pillar and take a deep breath. I start to follow Eris back to the council room but then my skin starts to buzz again and I stop in my tracks. Rhysand’s hands graze up my arms from behind me as he leaves gentle kisses on my neck. 

“That was you wasn’t it?” I smirk. 

“Maybe,” he smiles into my skin. “He had a lot of nerve kissing my mate in my court.”

“To be fair he didn’t know,” I giggle. 

“I don’t care, he was lucky I didn’t rip his head off,” he says, continuing to kiss my neck.

“This place is terrifying, how do you live here?” I laugh.

“I don’t, this place is just where I entertain other Lords,” he explains, kissing my neck still.  

“Then where do you live?” I ask, reaching up to press my hand against his face, encouraging him not to stop. 

He smiles against my skin, “I want you to tell your brother that you’re staying with Viviane again tonight.” 

“Why?” I ask. 

“Because, I finally have you here, in my court. I want you to stay here with me, even if it’s just for one night.” he emphasizes his statement with a long lick up my neck that has my toes curling in my shoes. 

I turn to look at him, “are you sure my brother won’t find out?” I ask, finally looking into those violet eyes I had been missing. 

“I’m positive,” he smiles and his eyes glance down to the necklace. “You weren’t wearing that earlier.”

I roll my eyes, “Eris just gave it to me. He said it was a gift but it feels more like a collar.” I say straightening my shoulders in discomfort from the weight of it. 

Rhysand doesn’t say anything, he just reaches a hand around the back of my neck to unclasp the necklace. I immediately feel the weight fall off into his hand and he looks at it before chucking it somewhere in the room. 

“Rhys!” I laugh.

“Much better now we can see your pretty neck,” he smirks before leaning in to kiss me. I practically melt into his touch.

Because the rest of the Lord ganged up on him, Tamlin left early and just like Rhys asked, I told him I would be staying with Viviane tonight. Tamlin didn’t even bat an eyelash. It wasn’t long until the last couple, Kallias and Viviane, left.  I turned to see Rhys staring at me from across the room with that playful smirk I always wanted to kiss off his face. 

“Are you ready to go mate?” he asked, holding out his arm to mine. 

I took it eagerly, “To go where?” I asked earnestly. 

“To Velaris,” he smiled brighter than I had ever seen him smile before and before I could question further he winnowed us away. 

When the shadows cleared I was in a house. A lush, beautiful and homey house. Thick red wool carpeted the floor, and the walls were made of a rich wood. Comfy chairs and chaises were littered about and a warm fire sprung to life. It looked lived in and loved compared to the mansion in the Spring Court. 

“So this is where you live?” I ask taking in my sights. 

“Yes it is. The place we just were? We call it The Court of Nightmares, that’s where we conduct business to keep up appearances for other courts. But this is where I live, Velaris, the city of starlight.” he explains watching me take it all in. 

I look out a large window and see the golden fae lights of the village beyond. It sits below a large snow capped mountain. It’s the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen, and it already feels like home. 

“What do you mean we?” I ask. Before I can answer two large crashes come from the terrace outside causing me to jump. 

“I mean my cousin Mor, my second in command and of course Cassian and Azriel.” he says nodding to the doors where the two Illyrians from the ball are waltzing in. “Y/n this is Azriel, “ Rhysand nods to the one with the shorter hair and Azriel waves. “And this is Cassian.” he nods to the one with the longer hair. 

“Ahh yes the one that bites,” I muse. 

“Only sometimes,” Cassian chuckles. “It’s a pleasure to meet you y/n,” he says, holding out his hand. 

I shake it and my whole hand nearly disappears in his just like Rhysand’s. “The pleasure is all mine, I’ve never met an Illyrian before.” I say looking over his large wings. 

“Then you’re missing out for sure,” he says looking at Azriel who just rolls his eyes.

“Your wings are magnificent, would you mind if I…” my words fall short as I hold up my hand. 

“Touch them?” Cassian asks. “Go right ahead y/n,” he smirks, eyes flitting to Rhys. 

I reach my hand out to graze over the material of his wings, they feel like leather. They are rugged to the touch and I can tell that they have seen many years of battle. I hear what sounds like the snapping of leather behind me. I turn around and my jaw nearly hits the floor. There before me, Rhysand stands with his own Illyrian wings. 

“I have wings too you know,” Rhysand says  as  he tilts his head. 

Cassian erupts into laughter, “Feeling a bit jealous there Rhys?” he jokes. 

Rhys just rolls his eyes and pulls a hand out of his pocket and offers it to me. I take his hand, still too stunned to find Rhys with wings to even speak. 

“We’ll see you two later, I’m going to give y/n the rest of the tour,” Rhysand drawls leading me towards the stairs. 

“Goodnight you two,” Cassian drawls before taking off with Azriel. 

“I didn’t know you had wings” I say, still bewildered staring up at them. 

“It’s not really something I make a spectacle of. I only have them out when I’m going to use them, otherwise they tend to get in the way,” he explains, leading me up the stairs. 

“So you can shift back and forth between having them and not having them?” I ask. 

“Essentially, yes,” he says and shifts back to his wingless form just to prove the point.

“So what was the deal with me touching Cassian’s wings? Is that like taboo or something?” I ask, feeling my cheeks heat up remembering how Cassian smirked at Rhys when I asked. 

“Illyrians can feel through their wings and are known to attack first and ask questions later if they are touched without invitation. It was basically like if you ask if you could touch his abs,” Rhysand chuckles. 

“Oh,” I said, my heart stopping. “Now I feel bad.” 

“Don’t feel bad, Cassian loves teasing me. He let you touch his wings just to watch my face as you did so,” Rhys laughed again, opening a door to our left. “This is one of the guest rooms.” 

I look around at the somewhat dark room, the same lush carpet coats the floor along with the same wooden paneling. It was quaint and perfect. Rhys continued leading us down the hall to show me another guest room which was much like the first just a little bit bigger. He explained that they were the rooms Cassian and Azriel slept in for Solstice. 

“And this is my room,” he explained before opening the door to the last room in the hallway. 

The room is much larger than the other two, the huge bed was made with dark black and purple blankets and pillows. I heard the door close as I continued to explore. The bed sat next to a balcony that had the same view of the living room, the village lit with fae lights and the snowy mountain. To the left was a large bathroom with a bathtub, large enough I realized, to fit Rhysand’s wings. 

“Your room is-” 

“Our room. This is our room now.” he says and I turn to meet his gaze. “I’ve waited so long to see you standing here. In Velaris, in the townhouse, in this room.” 

“And what is it that I’m normally doing in this room, Rhys?” I smile, faking my innocence. 

“Well,” he drawls, stepping closer to me. “It goes a little something like this,” he muses before placing a hand on my cheek and kissing me. 

This kiss is different, less heated than all the others we shared before it. It holds all the passion of what’s to come, what we both know is coming. His hands slide to my waist and I let out a small moan and I can feel Rhys trying not to smile. My hands tangle in his hair pulling him closer as I feel my legs hit the mattress. He pulls me closer to him so I don’t fall and I feel him turn me around so my back is facing him. 

“Normally I would use my magic to take your clothes off,” he says voice low, his hands unlacing the corset in my dress. “But I want to take my time with you tonight,” he continues undoing the last lace. 

I nearly melt at his words, but I feel the dress start to fall and I grab the top of it to keep it from falling down. The dress didn’t allow for any undergarments meaning I would be completely bare to him. 

Rhysand places a kiss on my shoulder, “You’ve never let a man see you naked before have you?” he asks. 

“No I haven’t,” I say shyly. I feel a moment of fear but turn around and let my dress fall to the floor in a giant pile of purple chiffon. Rhysand’s eyes rake down my body and I move to cover my breast with my arms as pink tints my cheeks. 

“Don’t you dare cover those perfect breasts mate,” he says gently, pulling my arms away. “You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I’m so lucky to call you my mate.” he kisses me again, absolving any fear I have as I feel his hands finally roam my naked body. I push him away lightly. 

“I want to see you too,” I say breathlessly looking into his eyes that are suddenly a darker shade of violet than they were before. 

“As my mate commands,” he smirks, standing back to take off his clothes. His eyes locked on mine, never breaking eye contact until he stood before me completely bare. 

I let my eyes rake down on him. His body ripples with strong and lean muscles, the upper part of his chest and shoulders are covered in swirling tattoos. My eyes dare to travel lower over his abs to his straining cock. All I can think to myself is there’s no way that’s going to fit inside me.

Rhysand chuckles, stepping towards me, “I promise it will fit mate.”

“Shit I said that out loud?” I curse ducking my chin in embarrassment. 

“No you didn’t, but your thoughts were so loud you might as well have,” he laughs tilting my chin up to meet his eyes. 

My eyes drift down to his chest again and I finally let my hands wander the muscles on his chest. His skin soft and smooth under my fingers, I run them up his abs, over his pecs, across his shoulders and down his arms earning a low groan from him. I take his hands and place them on my waist, throwing my own over his shoulders and as I look into his eyes the words just tumble out of me. 

“I love you Rhys,” I breathe. 

“You don’t have to say it just because I said it the other day,” he says almost sadly. 

“I’m not. I love you Rhysand,” I smile. 

A smile spreads across his face, “I love you too mate.” 

His hands pull me closer to him and I can feel my breasts pressing against his chest as he seals our lips again. This time the kiss is more needy as I feel my heart rate pick up. His frame backs me up and I can feel his cock pressing into me making me practically moan into the kiss. 

My legs hit the mattress again, this time he lets me fall onto the bed. I open my eyes and watch his eyes rake down me again, nothing short of a predatory gaze behind them. His knees hit the mattress and he crawls over me, caging me in with his arms. He kisses me deeply and begins to move his lips down my jaw and to my neck again. I can feel his restraint as he tries not to leave love bites all over me. His lips go lower and lower and my chest starts to heave in anticipation of what I think is next. 

“Your breasts,” he says, kissing the top of each one. “Are the most beautiful pair of breasts I’ve ever seen. I should’ve worshiped them the moment that dress hit the floor.” He smirked.

He started kissing the underside of each breast, then the sides and then the tops again purposefully avoiding the one place I wanted his mouth the most, making me squirm. 

“And these pretty pink nipples,” he says before finally taking one in his mouth and suckling. 

“Oh fuck,” I breathe having my back arch into him. His other hand comes up to draw little circles on my other nipple. 

“Dirty mouth mate,” he teases before resuming his menstrations.

My hands fly to his hair as I pull him closer to me needing more of him. Needing all of him. 

“Wouldn’t want this one to think I don’t love it,” he smirks before sucking my other bud into his mouth. 

“Rhys please,” I breathe tugging at his hair. 

“So eager are we mate?”  he says kissing down my body till he gets to my core. He skips over it and sits up, taking my leg and kissing my ankle. He draws a path of kisses all the way down my leg till he reaches the inside of my thigh. He gives me an evil grin before sitting up and beginning to do the same with the other leg.  

“Ugh Rhysand!” I groan, causing him to chuckle. 

“I told you I wanted to take my time mate,” he chuckles against my calf.  “Was there a certain body part you were hoping I would kiss?” he asks suggestively.

“Your favorite part,” I muse. 

“You cruel wicked thing. As if I could ever just choose one part of you to be my favorite.” he says, acting wounded, putting my leg down. He leans into my pussy and places a kiss there running a finger through my folds. “Though I will say that one of my top contenders is this pretty little clit.” he hums lowly before flicking his tongue over the bundle of nerves. 

“Ahh,” I scream, my hands going straight to his hair. 

“Precisely why I love it. I love the little sounds you make when I lick it,” he growls before diving in to feast on me. 

“Oh my gods Rhys!” I scream, grinding my hips into his face. 

That’s right y/n I wanna hear everything. We’re not in Beron’s office anymore, scream for me mate. He says into my mind and I do. 

I scream and writhe and moan. My eyes flit down to where his mouth is attached to my pussy. His darkened eyes look up at me watching the pleasure rake through my body. One of his hands comes from my hip and I feel his fingers tease my entrance before he slides one into me. His mouth continues suckling on my clit as his fingers curl to massage that spot inside of me that I didn’t know was there until he touched it at the ball. 

Gods your pussy tastes so good. After we’re officially mated I promise to spend a whole night between your legs eating you out until you can’t move. 

“Rhys!” I scream, his words my undoing as I cum on his tongue. He works me through my orgasm until my legs stop shaking and then he pulls his finger from me. He places a kiss on my clit one last time before moving up the bed. He watches me as he sucks all my leftover cum on his finger off. 

I grab his neck and pull him down to kiss me again. He slips his tongue into my mouth and I can taste myself on him. My hands run down his back feeling the powerful muscles there,  gods I could just sit here and touch him all day. He was as beautiful as I had pictured him that one night not too long ago. He was everything and he was mine. 

“That’s right mate, I am yours,” he said between kisses. Clearly my thoughts we’re projecting again. 

“And I am yours Rhys,” I breathe, and he takes a moment to study my face trying to read if I really mean it, like he thought the words would never leave my mouth.  

“Mine,” he grumbles, connecting our lips again. “Beautiful and perfect and all fucking mine.” 

I feel his cock nudging my entrance and I gasp. I want it, I want all of him, but I’m scared. 

“Rhys I’m scared, I’ve never had sex before,” I say. 

“Don’t worry darling I wasn’t going to push in yet. Do you think you’re ready?” he asks sweetly. 

“Yes I’m ready,” I nod. 

“Okay tell me if it hurts too much and I’ll stop right away okay?” He says, kissing my forehead. 

“I will, I promise,” I assure him, cupping his cheek. 

“Here we go,” he says and I feel the tip of his cock at my entrance and it’s enough to have a large wave of arousal flood between my legs once more. 

He pushes his tip in and I start to feel the burn but I don’t say anything as he slowly continues to push in. I feel him stretching me and the mixture of pleasure and pain starts to take over my body. Once he’s nearly fully inside me I wince and he stops. 

“Shh it’s okay, you’re doing so good my mate,” he coos, kissing my brow. 

“I’m good now, keep going,” I breathe. 

I feel him bottom out inside me and I scream in both pain and pleasure once more. 

“Fuck y/n,” he groans, but he doesn’t move trying to give me time to adjust. I relish how full I feel with him all the way in me and I look down at his arms. His muscles are taught and his veins are nearly popping and I realize it’s taking everything inside of him not to pull his cock out and slam it into me. The thought of him taking me so rough puts butterflies in my stomach. 

“Rhys please move,” I cry trying to rock my hips into him. 

He pulls out a little and thrusts back in and I hold back my cry as he does it again. He starts to build up a good slow tempo and after a while the pain disappears. 

“Fuck you’re taking me so good, you’re doing so good mate.” he groans trying to keep himself from losing control. 

“Harder Rhys,” I whine running my hands through his hair. 

“No I don’t want to hurt you,” he shakes his head watching his cock disappear inside of me looking for any hint of discomfort. 

He’s being gentle, trying to make sure I feel good. But all I can think of are his whimpers and moans from when he stroked his cock a few nights ago, and how desperately I want to hear them again. How desperately I want my pussy to be the thing that draws them from his lips. 

I grab his face and force him to look at me so that he can see how dead serious I really was, “Rhys I want you to fuck me,” I ordered him. 

“Fuck y/n,” his eyes widened and I could see all resolve has left exit his body. 

His hips thrusted into me harder and I strangled cry left my mouth as he continued to fuck me. The sound of skin slapping skin filled the room as my nails raked down his back, bringing those moans of his to the surface, I could’ve came right there. 

“Fuck Rhys it feels so good,” I say blissfully. 

“Gods mate how is your pussy so tiny and tight?” he groans into my neck fucking me harder. “You feel so good wrapped around me.” 

I feel his lips crash onto mine again, hips never faltering. I can barely keep our lips attached as he keeps pulling moans from me and all I can think is how utterly his I am. 

“Say it again,” he grits out and I know exactly what he means. 

“I’m yours Rhysand,” I hum. 

“Mine,” he grunts fucking me even harder. 

The new pace has me seeing stars as I grip onto his shoulders leaving crescent shaped marks in his skin. I feel the ever familiar knot in my stomach growing and I’m moments away from cumming with his name on my tongue. 

“Rhys I’m gonna cum,” I warn him and I can see the muscle in his jaw flicker. 

“Me too. Cum with me mate,” he grunts before flicking my clit. I crumble the moment he flicks the sensive bud. 

“OH GOD RHYS!” I scream digging my nails into his back again. 

“Oh fuck y/n,” he groans, hips stuttering as he spills his seed into me. 

We’re a heap of sweat and ragged breaths as he keeps himself propped up as not to crush me. My hands smooth back his hair and I leave sweet kisses on his brow. 

“I love you so much Rhys,” I whisper in his ear leaving a kiss there. I mean every word, my soul so full of love for him that tears prick my eyes. 

“I love you too y/n.” he smiles, pressing our lips together. 

He sits up pulling out of me and I feel a breath escape my lips, disappointed at the sudden emptiness. He sits on his knees and I watch as he stares between my legs. His eyes light up in amusement. 

“What?” I giggle sitting up a little on my arms. 

“I’ve waited forever to have this view,” he smirks. 

“What view?” I ask.

“You, naked, in my bed, with my cum dripping out of your pussy.” he muses, leaning over me again. “Totally and completely mine.” he smiles, kissing me again.

I hum in approval at his words and kiss him harder feeling his skin melt against mine. I try to pour every ounce of love I have into it. The way he kisses me has me seeing stars and I suddenly feel hot again, like I need more of him. 

“Rhys I want more,” I say between kisses. 

“I fuck you one time and you already want more?” he chuckles. “Don’t worry mate, I’m not done with you yet.”

Taglist: @crystalferret202 @heyyitsnat21 , @cheshire-salvatore-mikaelson , @randomperson1234sblog , @local-fangirl09 , @bleh-81, @annaaaaa88 , @cauldronboilmetakemetovelaris @tenaciousperfectionunknown , @judig92 , @aunicornmademedoit, @sharknutz , @slytherintaco , @isa1b2h3 , @nickishadow139 

[flowercrowngods]

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it?

hmm i don’t know about reading, but writing i can tell you: a the rest of us just live here-esque wayne munson/scott clarke story of how they find each other through the years of canon events

for context, the rest of us just live here is a beautiful YA novel by patrick ness in which the protagonists live in a city where The Chosen Ones kinda wreak havoc every now and then and they’re really just kids who don’t have special powers and who are just dealing with teenage angst and stuff, essentially shining a light on the lives of those who don’t get to change the world but have to live in a world that’s changed

all the canon events still happen, except we get an outsider pov that’s unaware of everything at best, and ignorant of it at worst.

for the sake of ✨hyper specificity✨ let me paint you a picture

the story would start in a little corner café, early enough in the day for scott to stop and grab a coffee because it’s something he used to do in university and then later as a teacher student and then when he started out, and he can’t shake the habit and at this point he doesn’t want to anymore, appreciating the extra bit of time in the morning taken to read up on the news or latest scientific breakthroughs or work on his children’s book series about a bunch of kids who investigate supernatural phenomena in their rural town and get help from their science teacher (he’s a sillyman and i love him)

wayne frequents the same cafe, either in the morning after he worked the graveyard shift and he just wants some good fucking coffee before going home and passing out just as eddie leaves for school, or in the mornings before he has to work the day shift. he almost always runs into scott, but it’s more of a polite nod situation than anything else because they never really have anything to say to each other and scott is always preoccupied while wayne is just dead to the world and here to enjoy the silence

but then one day will goes missing, and they both hear about it. when hawkins PD organises and mobilises the whole town to comb the forest for any traces of will, scott and wayne end up finding each other, spending the search together, and they get talking about will — whether scott knew him, whether he was a good kid, whether scott thinks the kid just up and left or if something terrible must have happened. they also talk about eddie, after an hour or two, about why wayne is here if he doesn’t even know will.

“that kid is someone’s boy. if anything were to happen to my boy, i’d want the whole town on its damn feet looking for him.”

they don’t find will, but with that first instance of talking, the two of them don’t really stop. they gravitate toward each other in the mornings; wayne finding a table with two chairs, inviting scott to take a seat even if they sit in silence as scott reads or writes or grades some tests. they instantly fall into a comfortable dynamic that shouldn’t work but it does.

at some point they like really get talking and sometimes when scott has a free first period wayne will stay as long as he can and they’ll just talk the whole time and scott finds that wayne is super smart but more in a practical way and wayne finds that scott is obviously smart in the hypotheticals and the natural sciences and explains things in a way that doesn’t feel too draining or too much. and sometimes when scott is writing or stuck at a particular scene or plot point, wayne helps him out. because eddie gets his storytelling ways from wayne actually. the man’s an avid storyteller if he wants to be; he just usually has a deadpan way about it now that eddie’s a teen, doesn’t make a big deal of the vivid imagination he has, but scott learns to appreciate it anyway.

and wayne tells stories about mysterious monster dogs living in the junkyard (bc the man sees shit that man is aware that man is nocturnal by trade and this town can’t fool him!!!!) — and it’s fine while it stays like that, but soon they’re talking about will again; about kids and teenagers dying in this town. first the holland girl, then so many others. scott knew them all, is haunted by it, gets oddly quiet and wayne wants to change the topic, but he knows something’s wrong in this town.

he talks about moving, too, wants to take eddie with him and leave, but then he ends up not doing it when things calm down in the summer of ‘85 and the mayor resigns and the police is more present. even though the chief is dead. and that hargrove boy. still he decides he’ll stay, knows eddie wants to try one more time even though wayne doesn’t care about shit like that, knows that eddie’ll fall through the system and still find his way — scott agrees every time, speaks of eddie in the highest praise, adoring the way he thinks and the strategies he has to turn everything he learns into some sort of story setting. scott feels for both eddie and wayne every time he hears that the boy flunked a test again, failed his finals, skipped school for a week. he knows how cruel it is, this system, to boys like eddie munson.

things are fine when eddie starts senior year again, wayne says the boy is determined that this time it’ll work out, this time he’ll make him proud and stick it to the rest of hawkins. scott believes him. believes in eddie. lays his hand on wayne’s and smiles, and wayne smiles back.

and then kids are dying again. one of them in his home. and eddie is gone and people don’t talk to wayne anymore because he’s the Devil’s blood, but scott finds him anyway and holds him and tells him that “i’m here.” and “i’m sorry.” and “let’s go look for your eddie.”

and then eddie is dead but not really, and then there are so many kids in that tiny hospital room who didn’t die but look like they’ve looked death in the eye anyway, and maybe this town is cursed, but eddie is back and he’s alive and scott never left wayne’s side, not even in this claustrophobic hospital room that’s posing a fire hazard — but they’ve learned that a fire hazard is the least of their problems, especially when it’s caused by people caring for his boy.

and when that harrington boy is holding eddie’s hand in the hospital bed and on the living room couch like he’s afraid the boy will disappear if he looks away, wayne reaches for scott’s hand, too, because he doesn’t want the man to disappear either. ever again.

and he keeps holding that hand when his kids disappear again to save the world, leaving him with haunted looks that pull up into teary-eyed smiles and the pale promise to come back. and he keeps holding that hand when they come back, when it’s the harrington boy who needs his hand held in a hospital room with eddie refusing to let go. and he keeps holding that hand when scott joins eddie by steve’s bed and takes over with the storytelling. and he keeps holding that hand when he joins in. and he keeps holding that hand when the kids start crying because it’s scott’s tale that makes them realise that they’ve won. that it’s over.

he pulls scott out of the hospital room into the dark and empty hallway and tells him, “i love you.”

because the man is more than ridiculous sweater vests and wholesome funny quirky stories and an ever sunny disposition and scientific tangents about aliens and their existence over his fifth cup of coffee that afternoon that makes wayne contemplate whether he should consider grabbing decaf the next time he’s out for groceries.

the man also makes him dinner and lunch and breakfast and coffee when his nephew is missing and presumed dead. the man massages his shoulders and scalp when wayne’s been on the brink of tears for too many hours now. the man will talk in quiet hushed tones when the police sirens are too loud, and he will shut up when wayne needs nothing but silence.

they have become attuned to each other over the course of 3 years without realising it.

and they can hold hands about it if they want to because the world ended and children died and the government screwed them all over, so maybe it doesn’t matter if two men in their late forties or early fifties decide that each other is what they want next in life.

scott kisses him for the first time in that dark hallway outside that hospital room, holding wayne to his chest as they wait for the kids to trail out of the room one by one so they can drive them home.

the world ended and then it didn’t, and scott and wayne fell in love along the way.

🤍🌷 come ask me questions for writers

[mydarlinginej]

read my full review of the villain edit by laurie devore here.

Emily Henry meets Fleabag …and The Bachelor! An irresistibly sharp and sexy dramedy about a cynical romance novelist who goes on a Bachelor-like reality show to revive her flagging career, only to discover that while she may have just met the love of her life, the producers have turned her into the show’s villain.

Good villains make good TV.

Romance novelist Jacqueline Matthis’s big career has gone bust and she’s ditched the bright lights of New York City for her more affordable South Carolina hometown. Desperate, Jac dreams up a comeback plan—she is going to be a contestant on the 1, the most obsessively watched reality dating show in the world.

After all Jac is a romance writer—she knows how to pull off a meet-cute and create a spicy plotline.

On set, Jac quickly establishes herself as a front-runner for bachelor Marcus’s heart, but she’s shocked to discover who’s actually pulling the strings. How was she to know that Henry Foster, her last one-night stand before the show, was actually a longtime producer on the 1? Henry is just as horrified…but they can’t seem to keep their hands off each other.

As Jac plays the game and the show unfurls, she slowly discovers that she’s getting the villain edit. They say there’s no such thing as bad publicity, but as Jac’s secret plan begins crumbling around her, she’s not so sure. What happens if Marcus chooses her? Worse, what happens if her affair with Henry comes to light? What if, in trying to save her career, Jac has ruined her life?

Heartbreaking, smart, and sexy, this novel is for anyone who has ever secretly rooted for—or felt like—the villain.

my review:

A friend brought this book onto my radar after we had a lengthy conversation about celebrity/fame books, and man am I glad she did. This is actually my second full five-star read of 2024, and I am just so genuinely obsessed with it. Spectacularly fucked up and messy, The Villain Edit explores what it means to be the villain in everyone’s story—and how to find your happy ending no matter the cost.

Jacqueline Matthis is a romance author whose career recently crashed after her publisher cancelled her books. After a few months of wallowing, she suddenly decides to go on the 1, a Bachelor-type dating reality show, as a means of improving her public persona. Once Jac arrives, she has instant chemistry with Marcus, the lead, but everything soon comes crashing down when she runs into Henry Foster, the only producer she hadn’t met prior to the show—and coincidentally the man she had a one-night stand with the day before filming started. As she navigates the complexity and toxicity of a reality show set, she soon discovers that she’s getting the villain edit and must decide what she actually wants.

Again, I cannot stress how genuinely obsessed with this book I am. I read maybe 20% in one day and was like, okay she’s good, and then somehow the next day I got so sucked in and read the rest of the book in one sitting over the course of some 7 hours. So yeah, it’s that serious for me.

I loved how complex Jac’s characterization is. Her voice is snarky and up-front and not afraid to get on your bad side, a self-admitted bitch. On the other hand, though, she’s so tired of being “too much” for every guy she’s ever dated; she just wants to find love, someone who will finally accept all of her. She wants so badly to be special and to be recognized for being special, and when her career came crashing down, she didn’t really know how to cope. Going on the show is clearly some amount of self destruction (and a lot of her actions on the show are too).

read my full review here.

[satashiiwrites]

Snippet Sunday

the muse has slowly been chipping away at this next chapter…..

Tagging for snippet sunday with no pressure @monsterrae1 @rosieposiepuddingnpie @outtoshatter @tkwritesdumbassassins @whimsyswastry @missanniewhimsy @quietborderline and anyone else who wants to play along/get their muse to work.

From: Choices and Regrets, Chapter 10: California Dreaming

Fandom: 911, Dark Matter (Blake Crouch novel/upcoming tv series)

Pairing: Buddie, background canon characters with slight focus on HenRen

Fic Summary:

If you could go back and change the choices in your life, would you? Would you love the same people, go on the same vacations, have the same career? Or would you have regrets? After the lightning strike, an unexpected visitor makes Buck question all the choices he’s ever made. From dropping out of the Seals to never making a move on Eddie because the time hasn’t been right. He’s going to get an up close and personal look at what could have been because another version of Buck is focused on taking his choices away from him—including Eddie and Christopher Diaz.

Tags/warnings: thriller/science fiction, not quite a straight up fusion, multiple versions of characters are encountered, mistaken identity, identity fraud, canon levels of violence but more swearing, traumafuckingolympics, whump, all the angst

Scrambling away from Daniel, he all but falls over another body that is cold. The body Buck stumbles over is wearing an Aperture Enterprises uniform jacket and strapped with weapons and extra pockets like a special forces soldier in a movie; a name badge over the chest says Morrison. In the dim lighting of the chamber, the eyes are sunken in but open and unseeing. 

Buck realizes that this man has been dead for a while. 

His distraction with the dead man has given Daniel time to recover, and he again tackles Buck. They land heavily on their sides next to Morrison’s body, the air forced from Buck’s chest with a painful “Oof!”  

“How did you do it, little brother? The drug makes me feel weird. How do you know? How do you choose where you’re going?” Daniel asks as he punches Buck in the kidneys, their legs tangling as they both kick at each other, aiming for tender areas.

“Fuck you,” Buck bites out, snapping his teeth at Daniel and twisting to break Daniel’s grip but still pinned underneath him. “I’m not telling you anything!”

“How did you do it? How the fuck did you do it? I can’t figure it out. You’re nothing but a dumb ass killing machine. I’m the genius. How did you fucking do it?” Daniel is enraged, spitting with each word as they struggle, blood dripping down his face from his nose that is bent at an unnatural angle, cartilage visible from where the skin is torn over the bridge.

They roll again, and Buck has something hard digging into the small of his back. Another furious round of punches are thrown, elbows finding purchase in tender body areas. Despite Buck’s bigger size, they are evenly matched. Daniel is more vicious, whereas Buck struggles to cause harm, even though Daniel has done nothing but try to hurt him.

The shape of the object underneath Buck finally registers.

It’s a gun.

Knowing he can’t let Daniel have the gun, Buck rolls again and grabs it. It takes three tries to get his hand around the butt of the pistol and bring it up to point the barrel at Daniel as his not-brother has continued to pummel him.

Daniel notices the gun immediately in Buck’s hand and backs off, hands in the air. “Hey now, there’s no need for that… put the gun down, little brother.”

“I’m not your brother. Why didn’t you leave me alone?”

Danielle licks his lips, eyes focused on the gun. “I knew you’d be back. I only had to wait for the right time.”

“Why?”

“You’re soft, Buck,” Daniel says, drawing out Buck’s name in a derogatory fashion. “Unlike my little brother, you couldn’t hurt a fly. You’re not going to shoot me. So why don’t you put that gun down, and we can chat?”

“No. I’m not doing anything for you. I’m going home.” His words are ruined by how much Buck’s hands are shaking. The cold metal of the gun feels like it’s burning his skin, but he doesn’t dare drop it.

“You don’t know how to get home, do you?” Daniel smirks, teeth, stained with his own blood. “See, I am smarter than my brother, and you are just like him.”

“First, you say I’m not like him, then you say I’m just like him. Make up your fucking mind,” Buck snarls, taking a step back to put distance between them. 

Daniel doesn’t let Buck step away, taking a forward step to match. He still has his hands in the air, but his smile is cocky and wicked. “Just tell me how you did it. Tell me, and I’ll leave you alone.”

“Get out,” Buck points with his chin toward the door. 

“No.”

“Get. Out.”

“Make me,” Daniel says with a smirk, not moving an inch. 

[punkrockisafulltimejob]

Bwuehehe. Writer questions 1, 15, 28, 32, and 46

1: What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting"

I use either Calibri or Ariel, depending. Basically any sans-serif font thats ADHD/Dyslexia friendly. Love reading/writing, hate when words don't stay put lol

15: Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

Good lord lmao.

I just recently started being okay with annotating anf highlighting books. I used to consider it sacrilegious to do so, and then I realized who the fuck cares? They're my books, and fuck it, if I'm gonna let someone else read it, they can have fun reading my thoughts while doing so lol. I do not dog ear, only because I have a tendency to either use scrap paper bookmarks, the fancy bookmarks I keep forgetting I own. I LOVE LOVE LOVE reading in the bath. Unfortunately my family hated when I would read in the bath for two hours. Something about there only being one bathroom for six people lol. I do not judge. Again, who the fuck cares lol. I will be friends with anyone, regardelss of how they treat books. Carry them around everywhere, hoard them on bookshelves, tear out pages, blend them into a smoothie, fuck if I care lol.

28: Who is the most delightful character you've ever written? Why?

Oh goodness, I don't know. I'll always have a special fondness for Cam and Maddie, but I think the most fun character to write has actually been Q Tomlin. They're a nonbinary genderfluid teen navigating high school, coming to terms with a lot of structural homophobia/transphobia, and also starring in a Shakespeare play!

32: What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic/etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

What, like in someone else's work?

I guess one of my favorite lines would be from a Dylan Thomas poem.

"Do not go gentle into that good night/ rage, rage against the dying of the light."

It's very much a line about not being complacent. I found it funnily enough in a trilogy I read as a teenager when I found the first book in my summer camp's lost and found. It was the last week of the year and we were encouraged to take things that weren't claimed, so of course I claimed the book lol. I've always been a bit of a rebellious thinker, so can you take a wild stab as to why I fell for that line?

40: Please share a poem with me, I need it.

See above poem, but also, here's one I wrote a while ago that I still can appreciate:

After Life

We walk across trails of light, endlessly winding through the night. A journey to the worlds beyond to find something that lets us bond and become something new, something true, something that we never knew we could be until we tried. Too many tears we have cried, and too many hearts were broken. All these words we left unspoken, a mark upon these hearts, torn apart, if only we had been so smart as to remember who we were together. Now we face the land of forever. Alone now, nowhere near close to that we fear, a different place to call home, our own. Draw me near, this place I roam. I want something as real as this, this glowing land of perpetual bliss. Let this be real, oh gracious god, for I can’t believe that I can trod upon these golden paths to salvation, in desperation, to something great, the blest creation of life in heaven. And now I know and can question how I came to deserve this afterlife, After all the pain and strife I have cause to others, to brothers, and those whose mothers names I cursed in frustration. Can I still receive re-creation of myself when I can’t be bothered to try to just be me?

We travel across these paths of light endlessly winding through the night. I guess I’ll never get it right. So let me fall, in ceaseless flight.

[shidoukanae]

Things about Paris the manhwa just does not fucking talk about:

-The thing he’s shown smoking in the beginning of the story is kava which apparently he’s using to treat insomnia. Which therefore makes his comments about how Helene's visage keeps him up at night in the manhwa very interesting in hindsight (and might also make sense why he feels maddened by her existence)

-One thing the light novel talks about that the manhwa doesn't do a very good job of is that Paris awakening as a dragon basically isolated him from the rest of the world to the point it's part of the reason why he was driven so mad. He's instinctually repulsed from humans as they're not part of the same species as him (which is!! very interesting worldbuilding!!! especially considering he takes on a human form!!) and has been left feeling alone for so long that it's basically made him unable to view humans around him as real people to care about

-Fian's existence in Paris's life is a REALLY FUCKING GOOD THING FOR HIM. You can just feel how much happier he is now that there's another of his species in his life and the overprotective big brother vibes he gives off towards Fian is actually stupidly cute.

Also really found it interesting too that he wants to keep away humans from Fian and shows possessiveness towards Fian because Fian is a dragon like him (and the fact he sends Lyla to where Fian is after figuring out that Lyla is Fian's "fairy" really speaks volumes of how much he cares about Fian)

-it's interesting to note too that Paris makes some interesting commentary where he laments why the dragons of Kylon want to get along whereas the siblings of Belliana want to kill each other. Him wondering if the instinctual bond dragons share can be broken is also interesting...

-Paris: I do not care for humans i only care for other dragons and will protect Fian if I have to from everyone but the fairy he adores

also Paris: so hey there's this really pretty elf descendant gal and i kind of maybe keep finding my thoughts straying back to her...pretty sure this won't be a problem though owO

-Paris’s first meeting with Helene (aka, the moment where he fell for her in the original novel ig) is when he goes to steal the Silver Dragon’s Heart Fragment. Considering him doing that is how he meets Helene in the manhwa, I can’t help but wonder if he’s the only character who gets to remain consistent with his OG!self in going insane in both the manhwa/LN plots

-Paris just,,, randomly helps Lyla out when Tyrone is trying to get back at her for insulting him,,, and i still think it's a crime that this scene got omitted from the manhwa (as well as scene of him following Lyla out of curiosity and then connecting the dots of who she is and leading her to Fian the moment he realizes how special she is to Fian). He's a fucked-up character but dear god do I find it impossible to hate him when he continuously shows the level of complexity that i crave seeing in characters

-”...his feelings for Helene were more of an obsession born of genuine possessiveness than love” 

*looks at manhwa!Paris*

Yep that’s certainly him to a T. Sure hope he gets character development in the novel so i have hope he’ll get it in the manhwa and actually fall in love with Helene instead of,,, that

-really love that Lyla is still canonically spooked by him (she should be!!!). All these additional details about Paris also makes me D: bc jfc she is not kidding when she says he’s a psychopath and i hope her timeline’s version of him is a lot better of a person (esp to Helene if he indeed is still on track to being love interests with her like in the manhwa!!)

-”male protagonist from a broken family” DO TELL MORE LYLA DO TELL MORE. I know his father’s treatment of him is kind of fucked-up from the manhwa but i wanna know more about his home life im begging!!

-also Lyla calling him the male protagonist is really fucking funny to me. Lyla dear I think you meant to call him the antagonist holy fuck

-not sure if Paris is on track to being lovers with Helene in the LN's timeline but the connotation is there that he will. really interested to see how their relationship will progress in this timeline because genuinely the chemistry between them in the LN is different from in the manhwa

[cartasmojadas]

It’s been nearly 15 years and I’m still looking for a copy of the Kino no Tabi -the beautiful world- light novel.

[babybluebex]

laszlo kreizler nsfw alphabet

so yeah this... Happened. the zemo version is coming soon, stay tuned! (probably tomorrow morning bc a bitch is tired lmao)

(gif credit to @lindir)

A = Aftercare.

Laszlo is such an aftercare king. He’s checking on you in every way he can think of: asking you if you feel alright, maybe massaging your hips if he had you in a weird position, offering you dinner or wine, maybe even a hot bath, if you’d like (and the bath would have special perfumed oils he had sent from Paris because Laszlo is SUCH a self care whore, he’s got soaps and perfumes out the wazoo).

B = Body Part.

His favorite part of yours are your breasts. No questions, hands down. He likes using your breasts as a pillow at night— just settling himself between your legs and resting his head on your tits is a dream he indulges in frequently. He also really loves seeing you in the new French-style of dresses that have a lower neckline, and, if you wear one of those dresses to dinner without telling him beforehand, he’s as good as gone. He’s staring the whole time and can only manage simple sentences.

C = Cum.

I think Laszlo likes to cum inside you, but he also wouldn’t mind cumming on your tits. If you’re on your knees, sucking him off, he’ll pull himself out of your mouth and almost rip your blouse in his haste to set your tits free before his orgasm rips through him. He only chooses to cum inside you if he can’t cum on your tits (for example, if you’re having slow, kissy sex and he can’t bear to leave your wet heat).

D = Dirty Secret.

Laszlo. Loves. To. Be. Degraded. From a psychological standpoint, he understands that his desire to be brought down and ridiculed is born from some sort of childhood trauma that DEFINITELY involves his father, but he just can’t help himself from getting so ridiculously turned on when you call him a dog for humping your leg while you try to sleep. Bonus points if you use his title while you do it: “Just like a little bitch in heat, aren’t you, Doctor Kreizler? You’re so aroused, you can hardly handle yourself. Are you too dumb to touch your own cock? Do you need me to do it? Oh, Doctor, what a dumb little thing you are.”

E = Experience.

Even Daniel himself has said that Laszlo has like NO experience. Laszlo got ZERO bitches (which I find hard to believe but ok whatever you say, writers of The Alienist), so, the first time y’all have sex, he’s more likely than not losing his virginity (let’s not get into the debate of “virginity is a social construct” because a.) IT IS and b.) Laszlo would lecture for hours about this). HOWEVER, these things come naturally to him. He is just Good In Bed. He figures it out very quickly, so, while you make fun of him for going a little stupid when he’s aroused, he makes up for it by bruising your cervix and apologizing later.

F = Favourite Positions.

Laszlo loves that soft, slow, kissy sex, so he’s into whatever position makes it possible for him to be inside you and to kiss you at the same time. Missionary is a go to, but sometimes he’ll have you sit on his desk and kiss your neck as he hikes your skirts up and fucks you all slow and nice.

G = Goofy.

Hardly ever? Laszlo is pretty serious most of the time, and the only time we ever see him Not Serious in the show is when he’s wasted after John’s bachelor party in season 2. So, maybe y’all went to dinner at Delmonico’s, then a ball for members of high society, and he had a little too much champagne and schnapps. He’s not like giggling and all, but his cheeks are red and he’s smiling more than usual, and calling you sweet names “Oh, mein Kätzchen” and “Meine kleine Prinzessin”. That’s Laszlo’s version of goofy.

H = Hair.

OK, my train of thought here is: LOOK AT THIS MAN’S BEARD. HIS BEARD IS NICE AS SHIT. If he treats his facial hair that good— regular trims, the beard oils we all know he uses, even if it isn't strictly canon— then his downstairs hair is nice too. Definitely soft, if maybe a little wiry sometimes (but tbh whose isn’t), and it’s a nice little cropping at the base of his cock. He also has a thin happy trail up his soft tummy, and a good amount on his chest (as we see in the show lol that much is canon).

I = Intimacy.

Laszlo is ALL ABOUT intimacy. You’ll know he’s in a ~mood~ because you’ll ask what’s being served at Delmonico’s that night, and Laszlo is like “I thought we might stay in tonight. John gave me his grandmother’s recipe for chicken soup”. He’ll light candles and pour you wine and play nice music on his gramophone, and he’ll romance you throughout dinner with little hand touches and sly smiles, until he’s kneeling in front of you and slowly kissing up your leg.

J = Jack-Off.

Honestly, he hardly does it. Of course, I’m sure he did it A LOT before he met you, but now he doesn’t need to pleasure himself anymore. He’s got you to do that. The only exception is if he has to travel for work and you can’t go with him. Even then, he’ll hold off until he absolutely can’t stand it, and then he’ll like read a letter you sent him or look at a sketch that John did of you while he whacks off; sometimes, he’ll just hold your letter to his face, and the faint trace of your perfume is enough to do the job.

K = Kink.

He likes impact play a lot (and perhaps a little roleplay wrapped up in it). On the rare occasion that his fucking is anything but soft and lovely, he’s gonna be hitting your ass and the backs of your thighs as you cling to him while he rails you stupid. Laszlo would try to hit your cheek, but he feels too bad when you wince at the pain of it. Spanking your tits is good to him too. His favorite though (and here’s where the roleplay comes in), is caning your ass. He’ll bend you over the desk in his home office and pull your skirts up past your hips, and he’ll make you count the amount of times his thick wooden cane connects with your soft asscheeks. The roleplay is, more often than not, you were his assistant who did something wrong and needed to be punished. If you miss one or forget to thank him accordingly “Thank you, sir”, he’ll focus the next hit on your thighs.

L = Location.

Either the bed or his desk. Laszlo is a little older (I don’t think we ever get an explicit age? But if we say he’s the same age as Daniel, then he’s 40 to 42-ish) so he can’t do it against a wall or anywhere too crazy (not to mention his right arm can hardly support much weight, so if he needs to hold you up, it’s probably not gonna happen). The bed is a special time for you two because of his arm; he’ll hold himself up with his left arm and rest his hand on your hip or wherever to give himself at least a little leverage. But the desk is usually easier because you can sit, or you can bend over and he can grab your hip.

M = Motivation.

He loves you and wants to worship you. It’s truly as simple as that. He loves you and thinks that you’re the most beautiful creature he’s ever seen, and he wants to show his reverence for you by making love to you.

N = No.

He can’t get into the role of “daddy”, nor can he call you “mommy”. Childhood trauma aside, he will be goddamned if Sigmund fucking Freud is correct about his bullshit Oedipus complex or whatever, so he just eliminates that whole thing entirely.

O = Oral.

He’s very good at it. He’s just… His lips are soft and his beard is good, and he’s not afraid to get a little messy with it. He’ll eat you out until he absolutely has to come up for air, and he’ll have a little bit of your wetness clinging to his mustache, but then he’s right back in it. His medical degree is also put to good use here because he remembers his female anatomy and he’s locked onto your clit the entire time. The first time you ever squirted, it was because Laszlo was nipping at your clit and sucking your wet little hole and pressing his thick fingers into you, and it was A Lot To Process, but you squirted and Laszlo came in his pants instantly because he’s like “I didn’t think women could actually do that… I thought that was a thing that penny novels made up”

P = Pace.

Again, he’s a little older, so he doesn’t fuck like some wild boy. He takes his time with you, touching you and caressing you and kissing you, and his pace is the same way. He’s slow and gentle, but has the capacity to go faster and harder if you ask for it.

Q = Quickie.

Hates them. Never. Never ever ever. If he can’t properly romance you and take his time with you, then what’s the point??

R = Risk.

Surprisingly, Laszlo is a little schemer, and he loves running a risk. He’s already looked down upon by other society members, so what’s the harm in squeezing your ass at a party? PERHAPS it’s inappropriate to get caught in a dark corner with your hand down his trousers and him kissing your neck, but it’s easy to blame it on the alcohol.

S = Stamina.

Once more, he is firmly middle aged, so he can do one round— maybe two, if he’s feeling particularly frisky. Usually, though, one is more than enough for both of you.

T = Toy.

HAVE YALL SEEN SEX TOYS FROM THE 1890S?? SHITS ARE SCARY. Laszlo does not like toys, but he understands their need for existing, so he may not like them but he tolerates them. That being said, he likes to watch you use them. LIke, he’ll sit in a chair by the bed and request you “put on a good show”, and he’ll watch you fall apart, and he’ll only come and touch you if you beg and plead for him to.

U = Unfair.

Mhm, so, in Laszlo’s mind, sex and pleasure are not just a give and take, it’s a two way street. They can (and often need to) coexist. He doesn’t like to initiate something if you won’t be able to reciprocate, so he’s not too into teasing or things. At the aforementioned parties, he’ll only goose your ass if he knows you’re 100% down for it.

V = Volume.

He’s fairly quiet. His mouth is usually really close to your ear, and you’re the only one who gets to hear his pretty little noises. The loudest he’ll be is when he’s come home after traveling and it’s felt like ages since he’s made love to you, he’s gonna come inside you, and his little gasp and moan are louder than usual.

W = Wild Card.

He is down to be tied up. He doesn’t like to tie you up, but if he’s the one being restrained, he’s all over it. It’s nothing too intense, just using a ribbon for your hair to tie his left hand to the headboard, not super tight but enough to make his fingers a little tingly, but he loves it. He loves the switch of the dynamic, how he’s fully at your mercy and you can use him however you please; usually, you just suck him off and ride him, but the endless possibilities get him hard as soon as you pull out the ribbon.

X = X-Ray.

Laszlo has Big Dick Energy, so he has to have a big dick. The best example of this sort of energy is in the very first episode after he goes and interviews Wolf, and comes to speak to Teddy, and Teddy is like “you interviewed the suspect? On whose authority??” and laszlo is like “Mine” like OH HIS DICK IS BIG I KNOW IT. He’s got an above average length and girth, but we know our man likes to eat, so some of his weight goes to his dick, so it’s like,,, He’s got a fat cock, sorry, I don’t make the rules

Y = Yearning.

Constantly. Neverending. He’s at work and he’ll catch a glimpse of a pastel drawing that you commissioned from John for Laszlo’s birthday that sits in a frame on his desk, and his heart starts to hurt from missing you. When he comes home, he’ll embrace you and kiss you like he hasn’t seen you in years, and he’ll want to hear all about your day. You have your doctor so whipped for you, and it’s a different kind of whipped than being pussy whipped. He’s, like, feelings whipped.

Z = ZZZ.

He’s a sleepy little baby after you guys finish. His eyes will be a little heavy and sticky as he’s cleaning up and caring for you (and you definitely coo at him “Oh, Las, you’re so sleepy!”) but when you’re both back in bed, our little man is circling his arm around your waist and nuzzling his cheek into your shoulder. He’s so soft and affectionate, and he’s out like a light when you kiss his forehead and tell him you love him.

[mrpenguinpants]

Venti, Xingqiu, and Razor: Kissing HCs

It is always okay^^ I will never say no to anything. I was scrolling through my inbox and I saw this and said fuck it, I wanna write this. I’m writing this. Razor isn’t a predicted tag and I’m so upset Xingqiu doesn’t get enough love. Also venti?? You want me to speed write something? Ask for Venti. 

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Childe Ver: First Kiss HCs

Xiao Ver:  First Kiss HCs

Venti & Kaeya: Mistletoe HCs

[Masterlist]

—

[taglist]  <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

@mikeysbike @unionwitch @musekala @sunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @thicmitten @nonniechan @htnicayh @genshins1mpact @morthecreator @aanne2601 @aklxojjk @fulltimeventisimp @aetherazor​ @laic2299 @diesekimo​  @pineapple-panini19 @castinluckgamer​ @hanniejji​

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Venti, Xingqiu, and Razor: Kissing HCs

Venti

This Archon is such a playful tease. He’s fully aware of what he’s doing and isn’t stopping anytime soon. He’s always surprising you by giving you quick kisses to embarrass you in public. Or he’s suddenly dropping from the winds, giving you a quick cheek kiss, before he’s linking your hands together and dragging you off somewhere. He get’s a bit lonely and bored so please try and coddle him a bit because he’s wants some of your love and affection.

He has a lot of fun using his anemo powers to hoist himself above you and giving you an upside down kiss. No one else can do that which means his kisses are the most special. Perhaps it’s the blood that’s rushing to his head but he inwardly coos when he see’s you flush pink all the way up to your ears before you cover them with your hands, telling him to get down or else he might hurt himself. He’s giggling at your cute reaction but he’ll find any reason for a kiss. He even “borrowed” all of Mondstadt’s mistletoes as an excuse to sneak a few more in.

He really likes kissing the shell of your ear, right where he knows they flush the reddest. Leaning over as he blows on your ear to hear you shriek as he laughs at your reaction, before he’s smothering you in apologetic kisses. As much as you love Venti, it’s a bit embarrassing for him to do this in public where others can see so you quickly rush to cover his mouth when he dives for another.

The tips of his braids are actually really sensitive since his anemo powers filter through them, so if he ever get’s a bit too bold, you simply have to either kiss the tips of his hair to get him to shutter and break character. The one time you got drunk with Venti, you grabbed and yanked his face forward by his braids and kissed him deeply until he ended up stumbling and falling backwards. His braids were lit up like Christmas lights and his face was so red you weren’t completely sure if that was from him being drunk or embarrassed.

If he suspects someone is trying to flirt with you or is getting too close. His normal childlike and cheerful eyes seem to sharpen as he hmms to himself at the scene. He’ll claps his lyre away and strolls his way to you, sneaking behind you before wrapping his arms around your neck as he nuzzles into your cheek. While you’re stumbling at the sudden weight he tilts your face towards his with his hand and give you a soft kiss. He’s grinning smugly as he watches your face flare up as he links your hands together. Sticking his tongue out behind his shoulder as he drags you off. Be careful, he’s shameless.

Xingqiu

A gentleman first and foremost. He’s polite in his interactions with others and that extends to his relationship with you. That’s not to say he doesn’t like causing some mischief. When you both meet up to spend time together or go on dates, he prefers to kiss your hand first before leaning forward to cup your cheek. He may be polite but he has no self preservation and finds a lot of joy in watching you get shy. He takes a second to marvel at how your eyes dart from his golden amber eyes, to his lips, then back to his eyes. He chuckles a bit under his breath at your cute nature before asking if it’s alright for him to kiss you properly. You keep telling him that he doesn’t need to ask all the time but he wants to be sure.

He absolutely adores when you get embarrassed and try to hid behind your hands. While you’re screaming on the inside on how pretty Xingqiu is, he’s smiling gently with eyes full of affection as he crosses his hands behind his back and leans forward to press kisses in between your fingers. Gently trying to pull your hands away as he gives you one last peck on the nose before taking your hand and leading you off to your next destination.

He really likes kissing the tip of your nose. You always resemble a bunny when you scrunch your nose and try and bat him away. He finds a lot of amusement when he suddenly pulls you into a alleyway, pulls you forward and holds you against his chest, watches you slowly get more and more red, only to give you a small peck on the nose and walk back onto the streets as if he didn’t do anything.  

The kisses that get him a bit shy are the most casual ones. Perhaps it’s because he’s used to making grand gestures since that’s his nature in chivalry. But when you happen to see him in Liyue, run up and give him a quick kiss, only to go back to whatever business you had. It’s so casual and unexpected that Xingqiu has to take a second and calm his heartbeat down.

You’re always shy when Xingqiu brings you to the book store in Liyue. You and the lady that works there try your hardest to not make eye contact because Xingqiu loves bringing you behind the book shelves and giving you kisses while holding a book in front of your faces. You’re fairly certain that Xingqiu is reading too many romance novels and is acting out a scene but you don’t have the heart to stop him because it’s actually really cute.

Razor

The first time the idea of kissing was introduced to Razor, he didn’t understand what the big deal was until he had his first kiss with you. He always assumed it was just pressing your lips together and that was it. But being able to hold your hand, which was inherently the same idea, made his inner puppy bounce around. Then when you hurriedly rushed to kiss him before running off to save face, he had to take a second to realize what just happened, before he basically chased after you to get another. Now this man pretty much walks up to you, spins you around, plants a soft kiss on you, and walks off. Bennett is shooting you a thumbs up while you’re internally screaming on the inside.

Razor will not be shy. Hand holding or having a normal conversation? Feel’s like he’s being threatened by that scary purple lady who likes to read a lot. But when it comes to kisses? He’s used to play fighting and getting nips from his lupical so to him, this isn’t much different. When he’s pushing you down, staring down at you with dilated eyes as he leans in for a kiss, sometimes its way too much for your poor heart you have to quickly turn your face away and scrunch your eyes closed. It get’s Razor really pouty and his head seems to droop a bit but you offer him a small kiss to try and appease him.

This man is more of a biter. He has a bad habit of nibbling due to how his lupical show affection. He prefers tucking his face into your neck so be careful of getting marks. They don’t hurt at all but it does get a bit ticklish and you have to attempt to bat him away or you might end up hurting yourself accidently. It’s embarrassing to explain and Fischl has a lot of smug fun pointing them out to you. Razor likes being held, spoon him and kiss his forehead and he’s a puddle of love. He may not be an actual wolf but you can almost see an imaginary tail wagging. It’s even better when his lupical are with him and they all snuggle up to you. It makes you squeal a little on the inside because not only does Razor trust you to be beside his lupical, but they seem to like you enough to snuggle against you. It’s a big ball of fluff you’ve found yourself in. 

He really likes picking you up and holding you in his arms, there’s some kind of protective rush he feels having you in his arms. Seeing your feet dangle above the ground, your hands on his shoulder as you look down at him, makes him feel like he’s holding the world. He can’t explain it but it makes him feel proud of himself. He just wants to bask in the feeling and presses his face into your stomach, he can feel you lay your head over his and the gentle kisses you press into his hair, it makes him feel loved. 

[spencers-renaissance]

Emergency Contact

Summary: When Spencer ends up in the hospital again, his emergency contact — who happens to be his boyfriend, Luke Alvez — is called. Too bad he hasn't told the team about him yet...

Tags: whump, h/c, hurt spencer, broken ribs, coming out, relationship reveal, protective derek, team as family, fluff, au: different first meeting

Pairing: Luke Alvez x Spencer Reid // (heavy on the Derek & Spencer friendship, too)

Word Count: 2.6k

Masterlist // Read on AO3 // Bad Things Happen Bingo

Okay, so Emily was not in S11, but for this fic she is, because I wanted supportive Penemily and that's what I gave myself. Other than that, this fills the square "broken ribs" for my Bad Things Happen bingo card. Enjoy the whump mixed with fluff!

Spencer doesn’t mean to get hurt again, but he also isn’t exactly surprised when it happens. If anything, Hotch really needs to stop sending him out to scope places and suspects out by himself. Surely Tobias Hankel proved he’s a trouble magnet in that regard years ago.

The summerhouse the suspect rents is a nice enough place to lay incapacitated while he waits for back-up, he supposes, but he’s not exactly able to lie and enjoy the sunshine when his ribs have been smashed in with a metal baseball bat and he knows the suspect is currently hightailing it down the beach. Not to mention the fact that it’s worryingly difficult to breathe.

Still, it’s better than a dilapidated cabin in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere Georgia, pumped full of heroin while his feet are whipped. Small mercies.

“Goddamnit, Spencer, again?” Derek asks amusedly when he finally arrives and crouches down by his side, but the undercurrent of worry in his voice doesn’t elude him.

“Sorry,” he wheezes, still winded and in immense pain from the ambush. “I didn’t see him coming.”

Derek raises a brow, chuckling slightly. “Yeah, pretty boy, I figured that.” His hand goes to Spencer’s hair as his expression furrows in concern again. “Did you see where he went? I’ll send the others after him while I go with you to the hospital.”

Spencer smiles a little, relieved that he won’t be alone. It’s become a strange sort of tradition to sit in one another’s hospital rooms after the job kicks their ass, and he’s glad Derek isn’t about to break it now.

“I saw him turn right out of the backdoor, but that’s all,” he says breathlessly, before cringing at the effort and folding in on himself even more.

“Okay, Spencer,” Derek says soothingly. “Just relax. The ambulance will be here any second.”

He obeys and closes his eyes as he listens to Derek call Hotch on the radio and send the team in the right direction before coming back to sit next to him on the floor.

“This might be one of the nicer places one of our unsubs has owned, huh?”

Spencer nods, mirroring Derek’s morbid amusement. “Crime pays better than investigating it,” he manages, smiling up at his friend.

He snorts. “You can say that again. With the way the market’s turned in the last couple years it’s more like this is my hobby and my properties are my day job, rather than the other way round.”

Spencer tries to reply, but he moves involuntarily in amusement, and a fresh wave of pain has him wincing again, trying to will the tears away.

“You’re alright, Spence,” Derek says gently, his hand returning to his hair. “Help will be here soon, okay?”

Thankfully, the medics do show up in a semi-timely fashion, and both of them are loaded into the back of the ambulance as the EMTs check him over, Derek’s hand not leaving his person unless it absolutely has to.

“How many times were you hit, Dr Reid?”

He cringes. “Four.” It’s almost embarrassing that the unsub got four hits in, and the only reason there weren’t more is because he was fleeing the scene, not because Spencer was able to fight back. He tries to remind himself that there isn’t much you can do when caught-off guard by a furious arsonist armed with a steel baseball bat, but his ego is still bruised. Albeit not as badly as his poor ribs.

“I’m gonna fucking kill him,” Derek mutters under his breath, his grip tightening on Spencer’s shoulder minutely enough for him to know he isn’t doing it consciously.

Spencer smiles appreciatively, closing his eyes against the pain. The non-narcotic painkillers they’re feeding him through the IV really aren’t doing anything.

“I think you’ve managed to avoid internal bleeding,” the EMT says, all though he tacks on a pointed, “just. But I’m concerned about the possibility of a punctured lung. There’s a chance your trouble breathing is solely pain-induced, but I don’t like the way your chest sounds. The doctors will check everything out when we get to the hospital, and get you all patched up.”

“Hold in there,” Derek says urgently. “I really can’t have you dying on me, pretty boy.”

Spencer smiles as comfortingly as he can through the immense pain in his chest and his mangled breathing. “Trust me, I don’t intend on it.”

The x-ray reveals two broken ribs and confirms the paramedic’s suspicions of a punctured lung, although thankfully, minor enough to not require surgery. He’s set up with oxygen and regular nurse check-ups in a quiet room after the doctor is able to remove the excess air in his chest cavity.

“How are you doing, Spence?” Derek asks worriedly as he pulls up a chair next to Spencer’s bed as soon as he’s allowed to see him.

He pulls away his oxygen facemask to answer. “A bit better,” he says, but his voice is dry and raspy from the oxygen so he certainly doesn’t sound it. “The pain meds are actually working now.”

Derek’s tight, anxious expression relaxes slightly. “That’s at least something.”

Spencer nods tiredly, but before he can respond, a nurse is popping her head round the door. “Dr. Reid,” she says genially, “sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to let you know that we’ve managed to get a hold of your emergency contact, and they’re on their way.”

Spencer’s eyes widen. How could he have forgotten? Granted, he was a little preoccupied with the whole punctured lung, broken ribs thing, but how could he have let it slip his mind that this little accident would lead to the secret he’s been keeping under wraps getting out?

When he’d first met Luke at an FBI gala last year, he never could have foreseen the most intimate and special relationship of his life coming to fruition, but it had. They’d connected on so many different levels, and the chemistry between them felt like something out of one of the fantastical romance novels Penelope reads, and when he’d asked if it was okay for Spencer to put Luke down as his updated emergency contact, he’d been rewarded with a wide, beautiful grin and a firm, heartfelt kiss.

It was serious enough, sure, and they were coming up on having been together for a year, but besides Emily and Penelope — who’d met Luke and developed an amusing, playful rivalry with him — he hadn’t introduced him to anyone on the team.

“On their way?” Derek asks, raising an eyebrow in mild confusion. “Isn’t your contact Hotch? He already knows you’re in the hospital.”

Spencer just stares at him like a rabbit caught in the headlights, completely blanking on something to say. They’re working a local case, so it won’t be long before Luke is bursting into his hospital room armed with cuddles and comfort, and as much as he craves that, he’s too busy panicking about his team finding out to really look forward to it.

Eventually, after watching Derek’s face morph into even stronger, more suspicious confusion, he gives up. They’re going to find out anyway. “I’m dating someone.”

Derek’s face lights up. “Pretty boy!” he exclaims happily, playfully pushing his shoulder as gently as he can. “That’s amazing! Why didn’t you say something? What’s her name?”

Ah. That’s the primary reason he hadn’t told his team about Luke. He’s nowhere close to being ashamed about his sexuality, he accepted himself decades ago, but he’s still not worked up the courage to share that part of himself with his team. Excluding Penelope and Emily who have been together for years (he’s still baffled as to how the others haven’t caught on yet), everyone’s in the dark.

It had started as a basic survival tactic. He’d joined the FBI two years younger than the standard entry age in the early 2000s, and he was far too concerned with just getting by than living outwardly as a gay man. And then, as time went by and he knew his team was accepting and welcoming, he found it too awkward to try and correct people when they assumed he was straight. There just wasn’t ever the right time.

“I’m gay.”

Derek’s happy expression falls and for a split second, Spencer feels a flash of panic. Maybe Derek’s okay with gay people as long as they’re not his immediate friends, as long as he doesn’t playfully call them ‘pretty boy’ and play with their hair when they’re injured, maybe—

“Well, what’s his name, then?”

Spencer looks up from his panic, seeing Derek smiling again, eyes maybe even brighter than they were just seconds ago.

“Wait—”

“Spencer, if you think I’m gonna care that you’re gay — if you think any of us will care that you’re gay, then you have another thing coming,” Derek reassures him. “Wait, that isn’t why you didn’t tell us right?”

He suddenly looks distraught at the idea that Spencer might not have felt comfortable coming out to him, and Spencer rushes to correct him. “No! No, I know everyone would be fine with it, I just didn’t really know how to say it. Penelope and Emily know, but only by accident.”

Derek relaxes, chuckling a little. “I’m sure there’s quite a story there.”

Spencer blushes. “Maybe.”

“I’ll find out later,” he says confidently, winking at him, and something in Spencer loosens at the fact that Derek hasn’t changed his behaviour at all. “But I’m more interested in Mr. Sexy Emergency Contact Mystery Boyfriend Man right now.”

Spencer outright laughs at that, before wincing painfully as his ribs twinge, and he has to fit the oxygen mask around his face again and breathe deeply for a couple of breaths before the nasal cannula can suffice again.

“I met him around this time last year at an FBI gala actually,” Spencer manages. “Everyone on our team bailed except Penelope, Emily, and me. He’s called Luke and he works in the Fugitive Task Force. We just clicked as soon as we met, you know? We have this chemistry that I’ve never felt with anyone before, and we started dating pretty quickly. We actually moved in together last month when his lease was up, but we’re thinking of moving to a bigger, nicer place in Mount Pleasant. Luke’s actually had his eye on this one house that went up…”

He trails off when he notices Derek looking at him strangely, suddenly feeling self-conscious. “What?”

“Nothing,” Derek says gently. “You just look happy, pretty boy. When you started talking about Luke you got this happy, dopey smile on your face, and I’ve just never seen you like that. It’s nice.”

“Oh.” He blushes fiercely at the acknowledgement of just how soft he is for his boyfriend, but it’s not embarrassing, he’s just ridiculously happy and head over heels in love.

Still, feeling a little awkward at the attention, he raises the oxygen mask to his face just for something to do.

“Does he treat you well?” Derek asks seriously, suddenly looking like the FBI tough guy he really is.

Spencer grins and nods, pulling the mask away again. “So good. He’s one of those people that looks out for everyone before himself, you know? He listens to my rambles and tangents like he actually knows and cares about what I’m saying, and he insists on making me every meal we’re both home for. Every day off, he brings me breakfast in bed, and he’ll even suffer through my documentaries even though his favourite thing to watch is action movies. He’s the best boyfriend I could hope for.”

“Good,” Derek says fiercely, even though he’s smiling just a little at the thought of Spencer being taken care of. “But if anything ever changes, I won’t hesitate to—”

“Spencer?” Derek’s interrupted by the door flying over, and a very harried looking Luke Alvez rushing towards the bed, seemingly not noticing the man literally threatening his death right next to him. “Oh my God, Spencer, I was so worried, I thought—”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Spencer says, voice still a little weak. Can’t he at least sound convincing when he’s trying to tell these people that he’s fine? “I’m okay, I’ll be out of here before you know it.”

“Are you sure, baby? Do I need to get the doctor? Have they been looking after you, because I swear—”

“Luke,” he laughs, interrupting his worried tangent. “I’m fine, I promise.”

He watches amusedly as Luke sags with relief. “Oh thank God,” he breathes, and it’s then that he appears to notice Derek. “Oh, shit.”

He looks to Spencer with an alarmed look in his eyes, knowing full well that he isn’t out to his team yet, but before apologies can start dripping off his lips, he rushes to fill him in.

“It’s okay. I told him.”

Luke’s face brightens in an illuminating smile, his eyes wide and happy. “You did? I’m so proud of you, cariño.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Derek says, rising from his chair to shake Luke’s hand. “I’ve heard a lot about you in the last ten minutes.”

Luke grins. “All good things, I hope.”

Derek winks teasingly at Spencer. “Oh, better than good. Spencer here seems quite gone for you.”

He blushes again, but Luke just sits on the edge of his hospital bed and takes his face in his hand. “Well, I’m just as gone for him as he is for me. Probably even more so.”

“No way,” Spencer protests as vehemently as he can with an oxygen mask glued to his face again. “I definitely love you more.”

His words are half swallowed by the mask, and half muffled by the gaggle of FBI agents pouring into his room, all talking over one another loudly.

Luke jumps off the bed and stands to attention as they all quieten down, three of them in complete shock, one of them — Emily, recognising Luke — in anticipation of what’s about to happen.

“Uh,” Spencer starts unsurely, eyes flicking between his boyfriend and his team. “Meet my boyfriend?”

There’s a brief pause before everyone jumps into action again: Emily greeting him warmly, JJ introducing herself, and Hotch and Rossi giving him firm, threatening handshakes as a warning that no harm is to come to their pseudo-son.

Spencer knows they don’t have to worry about that, though, not with Luke, and they’re quickly shown that when he takes his rightful place sat on the edge of his hospital bed again, hands smoothing his hair gently.

“Thank you,” he says to Derek, voice soft and sincere as everyone’s sat leisurely around the room, doing their own thing now they’re calmed down after the initial meet and greet, “for taking care of him. I worry about him, you know, and it’s good to see that he has so many good people looking after him.”

“We all do,” Derek replies, looking over at Spencer fondly. “We’re all incredibly overprotective. Residual effects from him joining the team so young, probably.”

“I can see that,” Luke smiles, looking over at Hotch and Rossi, who still have their eyes trained on him, despite having warmed up to him quickly.

“Well between us all,” Emily interjects diplomatically, “I think we have Spencer covered. He has a lot of good people looking out for him.”

Spencer knows they all think he’s asleep, but he can’t help but say something. “I definitely do,” he slurs tiredly, causing Luke to quickly turn his attention to him, pressing a tender kiss to his forehead as he runs his fingers through his hair with the hand not intertwined with Spencer’s. “Love you.”

“I love you too, baby,” Luke murmurs. “And so does everybody in this room.”

Smiling softly and feeling safe as anything, Spencer finally gives into the heavy pull of tiredness, and lets himself drift off to sleep.

I'm such a sucker for coming out fics omg, I hope you didn't mind that element! But God, I've missed writing Ralvez fics. If anyone has any Ralvez prompts then please send them my way because I want to write them so badly but I really find it hard to find plot for them! <3

taglist: @criminalmindsvibez @suburban--gothic @strippersenseii @takeyourleap-of-faith @makaylajadewrites @iamrenstark @hotchseyebrows @reidology @spencerspecifics @tobias-hankel @goobzoop @marsjareau @garcias-bitch @oliverbrnch @im-autistic @anxious-enby @kuolonsyoja @ropoto

[atruththatyoudeny]

Happy 28th! Here are the fics I read and enjoyed this month + a little special mention for the Advent fics that made the Christmas time a little brighter this year:

🌟 In A Twinkling by jacaranda_bloom Louis’ Nan just wants him to be happy, to settle down with a nice boy, and bring him around for Christmas. Louis is too busy with his career to bother about relationships, but in an attempt to appease his Nan, he sends her photoshopped pictures of him and his pretend boyfriend, Harry. The fact that the man in the pictures is none other than Harry Styles, world famous Gucci model—and recurrent star of Louis’ fantasies—is irrelevant. It’s not like their paths will ever cross… So it comes as somewhat of a surprise when Louis returns home for Christmas and walks into his Nan’s sitting room only to find the real-life Harry Styles happily chatting away with the grey-haired ladies of his Nan’s Crochet Circle. Featuring Niall and Liam as Louis’ childhood friends, Harry as the painfully perfect man of Louis’ dreams, Zayn as Harry’s very protective best mate, Louis’ Nan as a well-meaning matchmaker, and Louis as a guy who thinks he’s happy with his life, until a certain someone shows him what he’s been missing.

🌟 like cranberries on a winter evening by 4ureyesonly28 Louis hates Christmas. With good reason, too. And no, he doesn’t want to talk about it. When research for his next novel leads Louis to the website of a quirky little hotel in Northumberland, there is exactly one room available for the two weeks that Louis really wants to get away from his family. Will the fairy lights, kind smiles, homemade pastries, and genuine friendships awaiting him in Harry Styles’ hotel be enough to cause Louis a change of heart?

🌟 On Christmas Day (In The Morning) by lululawrence  Louis was on his way to get his weekly fancy coffee and pastries for breakfast when he once again came upon the piano. It was finally a day off, and Louis was not going to chance missing the piano again. Not when luck would have him passing it three times in less than two weeks. He was clearly meant to have the piano. Louis sat himself down on the bench and immediately sputtered a laugh. The largest sign yet, it was a ripped piece of cardboard and on it in all caps were the words, “HAUNTED PIANO! FREE!” “How exactly do they know the piano is haunted?” Louis asked with a chuckle. Or an advent fic following Louis and his adventures with a free piano and the ghost that comes with it.

🌟 All Your Mates Are Here by LadyLondonderry "The pack is... It's folding, Harry." Like every werewolf does when they get to a new town, Harry joined one of the many local packs when he started university. Now, three years into his program, he's hit with the news that his pack is giving up, going their separate ways. In the wake of the holidays, the three single wolves from the Majestic pack are pointed in the direction of a new pack to join; one that's got struggles of its own. A new pack, a new house, and two new roommates with personal space issues... Plus exams, of course. Happy Christmas, here's to many more.

🌟 Christmas Always Finds Me by lovelarry10 Harry blinked slowly, realisation dawning on him. “Gemma, no…” “Keira can’t stay. Her sister just had a baby, and she’s got a train booked. Harry, I wouldn’t ask if I had another choice, but I need you to take Logan…” “Gemma! My fucking holiday… you know I’ve been looking forward to it, and so has Lou…” “I know, Harry, I really do. And I’ll pay for another one, I promise. You can pick anywhere you like, somewhere better than bloody Magaluf, but believe me, I wouldn’t ask if I had an alternative. I’m so sorry.” ══❆❅══╡°˖❅❆❅˖°╞══❅❆══ Harry and Louis have big plans for Christmas. Neither is into the idea of celebrating, so they book a holiday to sunnier climes. However, fate has other plans in the form of Harry's ten month old nephew Logan...

❆ ❆ ❆ A Christmas Kiss | parmahamlarrie | Christmas - fluff - kid fic - hospitals - minor character death in the past - 8k Harry never expected to spend Christmas in the Emergency Room, but it might just be the (second) best thing to ever happen to him, after the birth of his son, of course. Because while in that hospital waiting for his son to be discharged, he met the most beautiful pediatric nurse he’s ever seen. Or the one where Harry is a single dad, Louis is a pediatric nurse, and Arlo needs to stop eating hazelnuts.

Slip into Your Arms | ohpleaselarry | Christmas - fluff - hospitals - 4.5k “Am I too old to ask for a cast that isn’t just plain white?” The nurse laughs easily, shaking her head fondly as she continues to scribble on her little clipboard. Louis sets his free (non-broken) hand under his chin and sighs, peeking at the clock for the fifth time in the last minute. Waiting for doctors sucks. Waiting for doctors to come and fix up your throbbing hand while your head pounds and it’s Christmas- that really sucks.

Twinkle Lights | mission2feelike | Christmas - established relationship - fluff - implied/referenced homophobia - smut - 20k It's a whirlwind romance from the moment Louis meets Chef Harry Styles. But when they start planning for their biggest event of the year, a New Years party for Selley Inc., Louis finds it harder to try to ignore the secrets Harry keeps. Especially when everything falls apart on Christmas Eve. Should Louis listen to his heart and trust Harry? Or is everything exactly as it seems? I definitely took a lot of liberties with the prompt, but I promise if you squint you'll find it in there. Also, I think it's important to say that it's sweeter than the synopsis makes it sound. I promise there is sweet Christmas fluff!

sun rise in your eyes | loubellies | Fae and Fairies - mythical beings and creatures - royalty - spells/enchantments - smut - 22k AU where Harry is a human prince that Louis, the fairy prince, has always admired from afar. One day, Harry notices Louis and Louis offers him some berries. Harry, forgetting the age old rule that you shouldn’t take food from fairies, eats the snack and is immediately shrunken to Louis’s fairy size and is now subject to live in his world while trying to figure out a way to return to his human form.

Someone to come home to | Thingssicant | strangers to lovers - famous/not famous - cowboys - fluff - angst - 19k “I thought I was just doing the usual: getting coffee, picking up lunch, driving him around…” “He prefers to drive, actually.” Niall offered. Harry scoffed at that, throwing the contract down. “Then what am I even there for?” Niall seemed to be at a loss, but he shook himself of it and dropped his legs to the floor to pull the contract up himself. “I don’t know. The dude demanded someone with him at all times. It was the only way to secure him for the role, and he was perfect for it.” “So I'd have to live with him for the next 3 to 4 months then?” Harry asked. “And you still won’t tell me who it is, or for what movie even.” “Exactly.” Niall said, leaning back in his chair again. “And you knew I'd take it, because I need the money.” Harry said flatly with a frown. “Already packed your bag.” Niall grinned, wheeling it from under the desk. Or, Harry will do anything to up his career in the film industry, even becoming Country Boy Louis Tomlinsons full time assistant

Bless the Day Our Heartbeats Aligned | GuiltyPleasureIsMyPleasure | a/b/o - friends to lovers - friends to strangers to friends to lovers - royalty - arranged marriage - childhood friends - feminine Louis - smut - 97k Beside his mother, Louis was still frozen in place. He was vaguely aware that Doris was getting crumbs on his clothing, but he was far too concerned with overthinking. Harry knew now that he was an omega. There was no way he couldn’t know. Would he be disappointed? Would he think less of Louis? What if he didn’t even remember Louis? Louis sucked in a breath when Harry turned towards him, his green eyes locking on the omega and he regarded him carefully. He was used to being constantly under the watchful eye of the court, his every move being critiqued and judged. But the way Harry was examining him had his hair standing on end and his breath caught in his throat. Slowly, Harry bowed before him and looked up at Louis with an unreadable expression in his eyes. He rose to his full height once more and one dimple sunk into his cheek as he quirked his lips into a smirk. “Hello, Cricket.” ~ Or the one where after years of being gone, Knight Harry returns to his best friend only to find out that Louis is betrothed to another.

noisemaker | absolutehly | soulmates - college/university - ambiguous/open ending - no smut - 4.2k An au where songs get stuck in people’s heads and guide them to their soulmates. It’s finals week at college and Harry’s neighbor, Louis, won’t stop playing music off his Bluetooth speakers. Because of this, Harry gets a song stuck in his head. Harry hasn’t met anyone new lately so he blames it on Louis and his music. Turns out, the problem might be the solution.

some evening in springtime | delsicle | farm/ranch - age difference - hurt/comfort - disabled character - sexuality crisis - Coming Out - kid fic - 21k Fresh out of veterinary school, Louis moves to a sleepy small town in Texas to take over the local animal clinic. But his new life is quickly interrupted by a middle aged rancher with a bad leg and a mysterious past, who really needs Louis's yoga skills.

It's Been Ages | 2tiedships2 | a/b/o - scenting - nesting - friends to lovers - mutual pining - fluff - angst - 13k “We need to talk,” Niall said as he plopped down on Louis’ bed. “It’s you and Harry. You like him, he likes you, it’s a match made in heaven and you will one day be mates,” Louis shook his head in exasperation. “If you’ve been watching, you would see that Harry is interested in, like, alpha alphas. Not me.” “What the fuck is an alpha alpha?” Niall asked with furrowed brows. “You know what I mean,” Louis said, giving Niall a pointed look. “I literally have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Ever I Saw | dandelionfairies | kid fic - past domestic violence - toxic relationship - therapy - healing ranch - anxiety - insecurities - smut - 58k Daisy Road Ranch. A place for those in need to receive the help they deserve, even when they may not believe it. A place where they don’t have to fear what, or whom they left behind. A place where they can find themselves, or find a different way of coping with their issues. Daisy Road Ranch. A therapy ranch for those who’ve been abused. Louis needs to find himself again. Harry wants to help. Can they find their way?

Meet Me On The Forest Floor | taggiecb | Angels - fallen angels - friends to lovers - emotional - no smut - 15k Louis is an angel, and one day he does something that causes him to fall from heaven, and into the arms of Harry Styles, forestry officer, who cares for him until Louis can get back on his feet again.

fake it till you make it | falsegoodnight | a/b/o - college - enemies to lovers  - fake/pretend relationship  - humor - jealousy - smut -  29k “I think you should ask Louis,” Niall interrupts, furrowing his brows when Harry immediately lets out a sharp laugh. “Louis,” he repeats in disbelief. “Louis, as in your roommate? The same Louis that hates me?” “He doesn’t hate you,” Niall protests, shaking his head adamantly. “He just doesn’t like you very much.” Harry rolls his eyes, leaning back in his chair. “Oh, my bad.” - Or, after a serious error in judgement causes Harry to lie to his frat brothers about being in a relationship, he begrudgingly enlists his best friend’s omega roommate to help keep up the charade. There’s only one small issue…

Strong Enough To Get Us Wrong | thinlines | a/b/o - soulmates - famous/ not famous - angst - hate to love - enemies to lovers - childhood friends - smut - 24k Should Louis just come clean and tell Niall? Fuck, maybe he should. Hell, he hasn’t even shown anyone in the last seven years his damn etching. But then again, he knew that if he were to lay it all on the table, his omega friend would surely understand his predicament. “Ni, it’ll never work coz… Coz that bloke out there, Harry Styles, he’s my fucking soulmate.” OR Omega Louis have always considered the soulmate etching on his left thigh to be a curse. It takes a world tour, the bustling city of Tokyo, a hike to see Mt. Fuji, some hidden feelings, sea urchin sushi and the alpha he hates most in the world to change him.

Wasn't Looking | berzerkshires | soulmates - strangers to lovers - smut - 10k It is well known that the first time soulmates touch they leave a vivid mark on their partner’s skin. Well one morning Louis wakes up with a bright stripe across his cheekbone and no idea what happened.

Only | allwaswell16 | soulmates - royalty - remote island - enemies to lovers - famous/not famous - misunderstandings - humor - smut - 34k Although Louis Tomlinson lived most of his life on the most remote island in the world, now he’s ready to leave home, attend university, and maybe have a chance at finding his soulmate. Prince Harry Styles reluctantly leaves London for yet another diplomatic visit, this time to the tiny island of Tristan da Cunha. Or the one where the electric touch of Louis’ soulmate isn’t enough to discount that he's a bit of a dickhead.

Unraveled | allwaswell16 | bodyguard - government - politics - secret relationship - violence - closeting - cheating - minor character death - smut - 18k Harry Styles, recently retired UK Secret Intelligence Service agent, had not yet had time to become accustomed to civilian life when he was tapped by MI5 for a high profile assignment. They had reason to believe that Prime Minister Louis Tomlinson might be in danger, and they’d like Harry to act as his personal protection. Whilst Harry was prepared to protect the PM with his life, he wasn’t prepared for Louis’ secrets. As Harry helped investigate the attempts on Louis’ life, he found a tangled web of political rivals, possible terrorist attacks, and family secrets as well as an undeniable attraction to the man he has vowed to protect.

[emjee]

MG has read...a lot of TOG fanfic this autumn: a rec list

Hey y’all, @morallygreywaren asked if I’ve done a fic rec list yet, and I think I’ve done bits and pieces but not a full list. Fortunately, I just put one together for a friend who watched the film for the first time on Sunday, so I’ve got something close at hand! I’m keeping the category divisions I used for my friend, because I like them. I’m gonna star the E rated stuff for your avoidance/exact opposite of avoidance needs. Off we go!

Joe and Nicky (historical)

Ars Poetica by superblackmarket. Actually read everything by superblackmarket, they’re amazing. (*)

The Other Matter by survivah. Sometimes I lie awake at night staring at the ceiling thinking about this fic. If you like your Joe/Nicky get-together stories with a tall glass of pining/idiots to lovers, run don’t walk.

Salt and Harvest by @hollybennett123. Joe and Nicky + bread through the ages. Literally what more could you want.

for all hearts torn by stonecarved (figure8) (@lgbtmazight on tumblr). Joe and Nicky + pilgrimage. Len is one of the greatest gifts this fandom has.

The Gold of Your Body by @azephirin. This contains the tag “Catholicism as a gateway drug to BDSM” and it is. Incredible. (*)

The Subtle Approach by survivah. The great thing about this fandom is that your Regency AU doesn’t actually need to be an AU.

The Profession of my Fingers by mellyflori (@werebearbearbar on tumblr). 5+1, Nicky’s Hands In Joe’s Curls Throughout The Centuries (*)

Joe and Nicky (modern)

My heart as green as weeds by KatStratford (@katrinastratford on tumblr). In which they have to peace out to Scandinavia for Lying Low purposes and Joe Does Not Vibe with how cold it is. It’s a huge quarantine mood. (*)

While we’re young by hyb (@h-yb on tumblr). *pinches bridge of nose* listen they are IN LOVE

Stop, listen, feel, believe by Tam_Cranver. This is my favorite fic set almost immediately post-film. Hot as hell. Emotional intelligence off the FUCKING charts. (*)

Joe and Nicky + Nile + being immortal family

Three Immortals and a Puppy Walk Into a Bar by survivah. What it says on the tin, a fucking delight

A nice story and The art of remembrance by @sixth-light. Joe, Nicky, Nile, and discussions of war crimes.

Straight up Joe/Nicky smut, you are WELCOME (these are all E)

Taking instruction by @sixth-light. feat. light dom/sub, in a really sweet way.

Literally everything @bakedapplesauce has ever written, special shoutouts to:

The present is nothing but an interruption of the past 

Hora somni

There is no “I” in “team” (but there is one in “vibrator”) 

You want some Joe/Nicky AUs? I got you

Explaining is Losing by @sixth-light. Academic nemeses to lovers. I have read this fic an EMBARASSING number of times.

Good Enough to be True by @sixth-light. Modern AU, super soft fluff/healing where Joe’s gotten out of a terrible relationship and Nicky’s the first guy he’s dated since

sine qua non by mellyflori (@werebearbearbar). Modern AU friends to lovers with all the trimmings. (*)

Extremely niche genre of Nicky Bitches About The New English Mass Translation:

third for a word and the song keeps going by Macremae

INAIED gets its own heading

If Never Again, If Every Day by @gallifreyburning and @takiki16 is the light of my Thursdays. 2021 Nicky ends up back in 1099, 1099 Nicolo ends up in 2021, we all lose our minds over the emotions that ensue. Someone once described the 1099 plot of this fic as “Yusuf: I truly hate this and I’m annoyed that killing you doesn’t work. Nicky: You want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid.” I think about that description every fucking day.

Book of Nile (I know one of the rules of this ship is that you have to say you hate it here and were forced to ship it against your will but LISTEN these fics are so good that I can’t bring myself to hate it here at all)

The Last Man on Earth by survivah. Five times Booker and Nile find themselves in a romance novel trope. Delicious.

son rêve d’opaline by stonecarved (figure8) (@lgbtmazight​). Sleepy. Sexy. I’m obsessed. (*)

everywhere on earth you go (you’re gonna have me)  by nondz (pinkjook). There is a swing dancing scene in this one that I lost my fucking mind over. (*)

This is by no means comprehensive, and I encourage you to check out all the fics of all the authors mentioned here. I’m having a great time reading in this fandom.

[zintranslations]

Kaleidoscope of Death, Ch. 117

Kaleidoscope of Death by Xi Zixu Link to Chinese / Novel Updates

Chapter 117: Are You Angry?

"So what about my stethoscope?"

Xiao Ji didn't seem scared at all of Lin Qiushi's suspicions, asking his question sharply in return.

"You used the stethoscope this morning, right?" Lin Qiushi asked.

Xiao Ji didn't answer yes or no; keenly, he'd detected that Lin Qiushi's question was a trap, so he didn't speak.

However, Xiao Mei sat beside him spoke up calmly: "Yes, he used the stethoscope to open a chest this morning. Someone else saw it too."

She pointed at a person in the crowd.

The person Xiao Mei was pointing to nodded, indicating that Xiao Mei wasn't lying.

"When I passed by the living room today I saw Xiao Ji opening a chest. He also used the stethoscope."

"Ah, so that means your stethoscope is currently operational?" Lin Qiushi said. "If there are no problems, may I have a look at it?"

With a scoff, Xiao Ji took the stethoscope from his neck and tossed it to Lin Qiushi.

"I'd like to see what you're trying to sell here."

Lin Qiushi took the stethoscope.

"Xiao Mei, you haven't eaten, right?"

Xiao Mei nodded, and spoke with indifference: "Yes. Xiao Ji heard a Hakobito yesterday, so I didn't eat anything."

This wasn't a strange turn of events, in fact was quite normal. The number of Hakobito had gradually increased, after all. It would be odder if, from the start until now, Xiao Ji had never encountered a Hakobito.

"Mh, if it can hear the Hakobito's movements, that means this stethoscope definitely works," Lin Qiushi said. "Let's give it a try then."

He put on the stethoscope and picked a random person beside him, pressing the stethoscope to his own chest[1]. As expected, the stethoscope that should've allowed him to hear something did not pick up any sounds; the end that went into the ears was completely silent.

"I can't hear anything," Lin Qiushi said. "You all can try it too."

He tossed the stethoscope to somebody else.

Another person picked up the stethoscope, and after carefully listening, confirmed that there was nothing audible inside.

Xiao Ji's expression went cold. He said, "you want me condemned based on just that?"

Lin Qiushi shrugged.

"Your stethoscope's broken, so how did you hear sounds from inside the chests?"

Xiao Ji lifted his chin.

"And here I thought you'd have some way to prove I'm guilty. Well sorry, but I've already tried it before. This stethoscope is special. It can't hear human heartbeats at all."

Lin Qiushi's lips curved up.

"Oh? You sure?"

Xiao Ji, "props inside the door are different from stuff outside to begin with. Yu Linlin, you're not thinking of besmirching me with this in order to take my stethoscope from me, are you?!"

He banged on the table violently, seemingly on the verge of a fit over being so wrongly accused.

Lin Qiushi asked, "you're sure that this stethoscope can't hear heartbeats, and that it's just a special item?"

"What? You saying you know my item better than me?"

Xiao Ji was locked in on this answer. After all, the stethoscope's always been on him. He could say whatever he wanted about it and nobody could do a thing.

But Lin Qiushi took the stethoscope back in hand with a sigh.

"What a shame. If you hadn't said that, I really don't know what I would've done."

And as he spoke, he began taking apart the stethoscope.

The earpieces on the stethoscope had metal rings that could be twisted off, with special sound-amplifying discs installed inside. However, when Lin Qiushi twisted one of the rings apart and removed the disc, everybody looking at the stethoscope grew shocked—because the space behind the disc had been stuffed with a wad of solid cotton, firmly blockading the path of sound transmission. Of course it hadn’t been able to hear a thing.

When Xiao Ji first saw the cotton, he froze. Then, expression drastically changing, he roared, "who said you could take my stethoscope apart—"

He lunged in front of Lin Qiushi, trying to take the stethoscope back, but Sun Yuanzhou, already standing ready beside him, held him back.

Xiao Ji saw that he could no longer get his hands on the stethoscope and began to cuss. It wasn’t difficult to see that the intensity of his reaction was weird.

Faced with Xiao Ji's threats and insults, Lin Qiushi remained impassive. He calmly removed the cotton and put the stethoscope back together. This time, with the stethoscope's amplifier placed on his chest, a heartbeat could be clearly and readily heard.

Lin Qiushi laughed, "this is what you used to distinguish whether a chest contained a box person? Very impressive."

Xiao Mei joined him with a sneer. Since the death of her lover, an irreversible change had taken place in her body that had completely expelled the awkwardness and timidity of a newbie and made her incomparably cold.

When he saw such an interaction between Lin Qiushi and Xiao Mei, Xiao Ji finally cottoned on, shooting Xiao Mei a vicious glare.

"You betrayed me?" he spat. "Fucking bitch—you stuffed my stethoscope with cotton?!"

Xiao Mei's arms wrapped around her chest as she watched Xiao Ji coolly.

"And what if I did?"

"Why the fuck did you sell me out??" Xiao Ji asked. "I'm the one who helped you kill Wei Xiude—"

At this, Xiao Mei began to laugh, loud and hard enough for tears to fall. She wiped the corners of her eyes and said, "are you that simple? You helped me? Weren't you just helping yourself? Besides…"

Her voice grew brutal, and her tone was like it wanted to tear a piece skin off Xiao Ji's body itself.

"The Hako Onna killed my lover, and you're working with her?! You deserve to die!!"  

Xiao Ji was panting, so angry that his eyes went red.

In order to prevent him from getting away, someone else fetched ropes and tied him down. Lin Qiushi put the stethoscope back together and set it on the table.

"Anything else you'd like to say?" he asked.

Xiao Ji gritted his teeth, and sneered.

"Hah, so what if it was me? Kill me if you can."

He truly hadn't been relying on the stethoscope to determine whether or not there were people in the chests, because he was required to open three chests per day and could only listen to the Hako Onna's directions when doing so in order to avoid any errors.

If he hadn't told them that the chest Xiao Mei wanted to open yesterday contained a Hakobito, he might have been able to make an argument for himself. The way things looked now though, these people seemed to have suspected him for a very long time.

"What a shame. You really think I can’t kill you?" Lin Qiushi stood up and walked in front of Xiao Ji, head down and staring. "There will be plenty of ways."

Xiao Ji first shivered at Lin Qiushi's gaze, but then grew angry at his own reaction. Teeth bared, he laughed,

"Hahahah, you're pathetic too! So what if you kill me? If you kill me your lover's going to come back to life? She's already dead—she died last night, the Hako Onna killed her—didn't you want to ask where the fire extinguisher is? Let me tell you, I was the one who hid it. I hid it in a chest, and so none of you will ever find it!"

Before Lin Qiushi could even move, Xiao Mei's foot came flying in from the side. She kicked Xiao Ji straight to the ground, and then ground Xiao Ji's hand viciously underfoot.

"It's all your fault," she screamed, "it's your fault he's dead. You're the monster, you're the monster who sided with the demons!! Die!!”

"Xiao Mei, calm down!" Sun Yuanzhou rushed to grab hold of her, worried that she was going to do something out of control. Though it'd be a way to get the anger out, she'd pay for it with her life.

"I know." Xiao Mei halted, and spoke icily: "I know. I won't die. I'm going to live. I'm going to live for him."

Reaching up, she wiped away her tears, and her tone went quiet.

"I was supposed to be the one who opened that chest…"

When he heard her, however, Xiao Ji only started laughing—big hearty hahaha’s. He turned to Lin Qiushi with malice in his gaze and horrible words at the ready, planning on further provoking these two about their dead lovers, when there came the sound of light footsteps at the door, followed by a laughing voice that said:

"Who told you I was dead?"

Everyone jolted and looked up toward the door—they saw that Ruan Nanzhu, who should have died the night before, had appeared before them. Ruan Nanzhu looked back at everyone with a smile, slowly trodding before Lin Qiushi before saying: "Honey, I'm home."

Lin Qiushi looked at him and didn't speak.

While he didn't answer, Xiao Ji began a piercing scream: "No way, no way, how could you have survived—No way!!"

Killing Ruan Nanzhu had been his most successful move. Not only had he buried the key, but he had also destroyed an item that could kill the Hako Onna. But this person who should've died had suddenly appeared before him, whole and hale!

"Kiddo, you want to know why veterans don't like jumping newbies through too many doors?" Ruan Nanzhu was watching him with eyes full of pity. "Because only by passing the previous doors do us veterans get the cards up our sleeves. You really think all those doors are for nothing?"

Lin Qiushi stood next to Ruan Nanzhu, sizing up the person beside him. He spotted a red circle newly marking Ruan Nanzhu's wrist—it looked as if it had been tattooed on, and made for a particularly piercing sight on the pale skin.

"Take a look. Aren't I perfectly fine?" Ruan Nanzhu spoke to Xiao Ji. "Are you surprised? Is your mind blown?"

Xiao Ji trembled, so angry he could pass out.

"Holy fuck Zhu Meng, how the hell did you survive!" When she saw Ruan Nanzhu, Liang Miye too was astonished. Now she was asking the question everybody wanted to ask. "You, weren't you…"

"I told you, I've got cards up my sleeve," Ruan Nanzhu said. "No need to worry…"

He peered at Lin Qiushi as he spoke, but found Lin Qiushi utterly expressionless and ignoring him completely—and in his mind he began to curse.

"Let's get the fire extinguisher's location out of him first," Lin Qiushi said. "That's more important."

"Let me do it," Xiao Mei spoke warmly, twirling at a strand of hair by her ear. "I guarantee that when I get the answer from him, he'll still be alive."

"What are you going to do?!" Xiao Ji was terrified by the look in Xiao Mei's eyes, and began to cuss again, a whole series of really bad words. When Xiao Mei seemed unmoved, he tried appealing to pathos once more: "Xiao Mei, I really do like you! Or I wouldn't have helped you kill Wei Xiude!"

But Xiao Mei only laughed.

"Hah, kill Wei Xiude?" She spoke without much emotion at all. "Of course a dumb newbie would be easier to control than a wily veteran. Plus, I don't believe you would've let me go."

Since Xiao Ji and the Hako Onna had come to an arrangement, he definitely would've killed everybody else inside the door in order to prevent the Hako Onna from going back on her word, so he'd be protected by the rule of the doors. Xiao Mei would've really been stupid if she'd believed his nonsense.

This, Xiao Mei was quite clear on. It was also why she chose to cooperate with Lin Qiushi.

After that, Xiao Mei looked toward Ruan Nanzhu.

"I really thought you were dead."

Ruan Nanzhu just smiled, noncommittal.

After that, other people began interrogating Xiao Ji about the location of the hidden fire extinguisher. Lin Qiushi sat at the side, not saying much. As a matter of fact ever since Ruan Nanzhu returned, Lin Qiushi hadn't said anything to him at all.

Ruan Nanzhu was still smiling and teasing Lin Qiushi at first. Only a bit later did he realize something was wrong, and quickly called Lin Qiushi outside for them to speak alone.

Lin Qiushi followed Ruan Nanzhu impassively out to a side room and said, "go ahead. What did you want to say?"

"Linlin, are you angry?" Ruan Nanzhu made that pretty face of his all sad and pitiful as he whimpered, "don't be angry with me, please?"

Truthfully, on any other day, Lin Qiushi's anger likely wouldn't have lasted after seeing Ruan Nanzhu like this. But today, he only huffed once, unfeeling and equivocal.

"Linlin, Linlin…" Ruan Nanzhu said. "Don't be angry anymore, I feel so bad when I see you’re upset."

He took Lin Qiushi's hands and carefully pecked at the corners of Lin Qiushi's mouth.

"Please?"

Lin Qiushi was unmoved.

"Let me just ask you one question."

Ruan Nanzhu, "mh."

Lin Qiushi, "were you sure you'd survive?"

Ruan Nanzhu said, "of course I was s—"

But before he'd even finished speaking Lin Qiushi cut him off—and with suppressed rage on the brink of breaking through the dam, Lin Qiushi called out Ruan Nanzhu's full name.

"Ruan Nanzhu, after all that, you're still going to fucking lie to me?!"

"Linlin, I really did have a way out," Ruan Nanzhu said. "Remember the 'Humans as Mirror" door, when I gave you that red bracelet inside? That bracelet can offset three supernatural attacks…"

He held out his wrist, showing Lin Qiushi that bright red mark on his arm.

"See? Aren't I perfectly fine?"

As he spoke, he smiled cajolingly at Lin Qiushi. But at this explanation, Lin Qiushi only scoffed.

"If you really knew you were going to live, would you have put the key and wooden stake together?" He grew angrier and angrier, until his last words were basically suppressed shouting. "You're just going to play me like I'm some kind of idiot?"

Ruan Nanzhu wanted to explain further, but Lin Qiushi was done listening. He said, "we'll talk about this more outside. I'm not in a good mood right now, if we keep talking, I really will get angry with you."

After that, he turned and left, giving Ruan Nanzhu no further opportunity to explain himself.

Ruan Nanzhu groaned without sound.

Back then, Lin Qiushi had really thought Ruan Nanzhu was done for. It wasn't until he heard Ruan Nanzhu's farewell—"Yu Linlin, I love you"—that Lin Qiushi came to knowledge. He'd understood in a split instant.

If Ruan Nanzhu really thought he was going to die, then when he gave his last confession, he would've at least called out Lin Qiushi's real name, not "Yu Linlin."

Lin Qiushi, once he understood everything, had steadied his crumbling emotional state. He also took all his fury for Ruan Nanzhu and buried it deep within himself.

On the other end, the interrogation had yielded results—Xiao Ji told them where the fire extinguisher was hidden. As for what method Xiao Mei used, Lin Qiushi didn't ask. He wasn't kind enough to forgive somebody who almost got Ruan Nanzhu killed; not taking care of Xiao Ji himself had been his last act of tolerance.

Xiao Ji confessed to everything. He said that immediately after he got here, he'd made a deal with the Hako Onna. He’d gotten a lot luckier than the dead Tian Guxue; the moment he entered the door he'd received the item set on the table and also the hidden rulebook.

Of course, to prevent other people from suspecting him, he'd hidden the item in one of the chests in the living room. Then, after reading the rulebook, he'd put the rulebook away in a corner of the dining room.

After that, Xiao Ji opened three chests in a row before everybody's eyes. He'd opened up the item and one of the Hako Onna's powers to boot.

As for Tian Guxue, she was entirely a smokescreen that the Hako Onna cooked up. Back when Ruan Nanzhu was having suspicions about Tian Guxue, he'd felt something was off, because Tian Guxue hadn't seem anywhere clever enough to be a competent partner. Sure enough, right behind her had been the better player Xiao Ji, who'd been so much better that nobody even suspected him.

But when the unexpected happened to Ruan Nanzhu, it prompted Lin Qiushi to start thinking about all this. He contacted Xiao Mei in private and got her to tamper with Xiao Ji's stethoscope. Then he'd gotten quite lucky—Xiao Ji immediately exposed himself and allowed Lin Qiushi to confirm that he was the mole.

Everything had gone smoothly, aside from the person who'd lied to him.

Ruan Nanzhu—he must have already guessed there was a second mole. He'd even predicted that the second mole would target him, and in order to leave Lin Qiushi out of danger, he’d hidden everything and directed two of Hako Onna's powers onto himself. The reality was that everything Ruan Nanzhu did bore risk; even if he'd been eighty percent sure the bracelet could weather damage from the Hako Onna, there was still that twenty percent uncertainty. That was why he decided to leave behind the key and item, shutting himself up alone in Tian Guxue's room.

Lin Qiushi understood all the logic, but he still couldn't control his anger. The moment he thought about Ruan Nanzhu dying alone in that room without even a body to recover, he found it so damn difficult to bear.

"Are you two alright?" When the two came back out, the peculiar atmosphere between them was worrying, so Liang Miye asked a quiet word or two.

"We're fine," Lin Qiushi answered coolly. "What could possibly be wrong?"

Liang Miye, "…" Y'all sure don't look fine. And this was the first time she's seen such an ingratiating expression on Ruan Nanzhu's face.

"Baby are you hungry?"

"No."

"Baby are you thirsty?"

"No."

"Baby—"

"Don't call me baby."

"Linlin…"

"Shut up."

The above was their dialogue, and everyone around them listening in began to look queer; Sun Yuanzhou forced down a laugh and cleared his throat a couple of times before saying you two sure are cute together, but this was no time to flirt. Let's talk about the matter of the Hako Onna first.

How to get the items, how to kill the Hako Onna and get out of here—these were the most important matters at hand.

"We have at most six days," Ruan Nanzhu said. "After six days, the Hako Onna can probably activate 'I'm Behind You' again. If we're not out by then…well, we might never get out."

"The item we have right now that can kill the Hako Onna is the wooden stake. Once we figure out the Hako Onna's location we can hit her with it, and for her to use a power, she has to cry." Sun Yuanzhou too had straightened out his thoughts. "As long as we wait…"

"That's right," Ruan Nanzhu said. "But the stake can only be used once, and if we use it in the wrong place, we'll have lost a critical opportunity." The wooden stake had to be used prior to opening a chest. He continued, "I haven't used the gasoline we put through the door either. This is also a key item."

"Mh, we just don't know if there's any notable difference between the Hako Onna's chest and the Hakobito’s," Lin Qiushi said. "If the stethoscope can tell the difference between those two, that's for the best. If it can't, then things will be a bit more difficult."

By the current look of things, when the Hako Onna cried, they could only confirm which room she was in, not which specific chest.

So there was still risk in it for them.

"Finding more items would be safer," Ruan Nanzhu said, "but time isn't waiting for us."

Everybody began to ponder the matter.

Today, the Hako Onna seemed to have realized that things weren't looking good, and so didn't use a power or cry aloud. Lin Qiushi could only confirm the Hako Onna was on the first floor, but didn't know a more concrete location.

If the Hako Onna didn't cry, then they could make no progress. They could only wait.

While they waited, Ruan Nanzhu brazenly kept trying to make conversation with Lin Qiushi. At first, Lin Qiushi answered on and off, but after he grew annoyed he didn't even bother replying, just kept his head down and played with his phone.

A resentful expression appeared on Ruan Nanzhu's face; he wanted to be the thing held in Lin Qiushi's hand.

Liang Miye spectated their interactions and held back laughter from the sidelines. Obsidian Leader Ruan Nanzhu was so austere and cold outside the door—who knew he'd be like this inside? Of course, she didn't dare laugh out loud, because if she irritated Ruan Nanzhu and got him truly angry…She wasn't about to get the same treatment as Lin Qiushi.

Lin Qiushi was clearly still angry, and it wasn't just any small upset.

Seeing him like this, Ruan Nanzhu was troubled. He thought that if he couldn't even get Lin Qiushi to come around with an advantage as huge as Zhu Meng inside the door, then it'd be even harder outside the door.

And so going to sleep at night, Ruan Nanzhu crept his way into Lin Qiushi's bed.

"Linlin, I'm scared." The person before him stared with big, dark, beautiful eyes, watching Lin Qiushi all innocently. "Will you sleep with me please?"

Lin Qiushi was impassive: "You're scared?"

Ruan Nanzhu, "yeah."

"That's great. I'm scared too."

With that he got up, leaving Ruan Nanzhu on the bed, and switched over to Ruan Nanzhu's bed.

Ruan Nanzhu, "…" Oh crap, oh crap, his dearest Linlin was actually angry, and of the type that couldn't even be sweet-talked.

Author's Note:

Ruan Nanzhu: Are you angry?

Lin Qiushi: No.

Ruan Nanzhu: Are you angry?

Lin Qiushi: No.

Ruan Nanzhu: Are y—

Lin Qiushi: Ask me again and I will kill you.

Ruan Nanzhu: _(:з」∠)_

The Daily Life of Popuruan and Pipilin[2] hahahaha

Translator’s Note:

That’s definitely what the Chinese said so I’m wondering if there’s a typo. LQS grabbed someone in the group, but put the stethoscope to his own chest and listened to the stethoscope himself.

“The Daily Life of Popuko and Pipimi” is the Chinese title of Pop Team Epic

[Ch. 116] | [Ch. 118]

[captnjacksparrow]

I just got into the fandom and I love it so much. However, there are parts where I just cringe. I’m going to be completely honest when I say I can’t see SS being a thing, a healthy one at that. A rumor said that Sasuke always had feelings for Sakura but he didn’t know how to show them because hatred blinded him. I just... find it utterly bullshit. Hell, even I do ship narusasu, I tried to be open minded and not fall too far off canon or the characters. I don’t understand how Sasuke had those feelings for her when all he did was shown the opposite and it felt genuine. He seem always annoyed and pushes her away. She kept forcing her feelings on him when he makes it clear that he’s not interested. I don’t hate the ship because it’s not my ship but because it’s extremely toxic. It feels one-sided (Sakura’s side) more than anything and it’s makes it hard to believe he had those feelings for her. I mean, on the second episode of season five, she confessed and poured out her heart and he blew it off. I cringed hard and was beyond disappointed because she’s making it about herself. That’s literally how I feel about their damn “relationship”. She made it about her and her only. When he’s hurting, it’s about her. It’s so annoying and it makes me see how self-centered Sakura. When she said she understood Sasuke, I wanted to scream (I nearly did but my family is sleeping and I don’t need a lecture.) She doesn’t know Jackshit about Sasuke besides he’s the only survivor of his decease clan, he’s a loner who cares only about himself, and he’s attractive. She’s just like every other fangirl expect she’s on his team. I’m trying my best not to hate her but Damn she’s really pushing it. Anything that annoyed me was that she made it seem like they were dating, again making it about herself and her feelings. She sent Naruto to get Sasuke for her benefits, so she can keep him. Again, disregarding Sasuke’s feelings and what he wanted. Naruto should’ve said “I’ll bring him back because HE wants too, to keep HIM safe, not for you.” I just can’t with this ship. I’m still wondering why the hell is it even a thing? Also find it beyond pitiful how she stayed with Sasuke in Boruto when he left for 12-13 years?! No note. No checking up. Nothing. Hell, Sarada doesn’t know how her own father looks like or the truth of her mother. Both of them were miserable and I find it absolutely ridiculous when SS shippers still say “they’re in love” or they’re OTP. If that’s what true love looks like (good thing it’s not), then I’d die single. I can’t be the only one who thinks this ship is just as bad as Harley Quinn x Joker.

First off, Thanks for this lovely ask @larrycherry04 ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I've always wanted to write about this and your ask is the perfect timing.

Disclaimer: SS shippers, Sakura fans!!! Don’t read  this post!!

Me being an SNS shipper, I am just going to write this from a non-SNS perspective. Meaning, I am going to consider Naruto and Sasuke are just friends or rivals. 

Bear with my lengthy answer.

Where do I even begin?

A rumor said that Sasuke always had feelings for Sakura but he didn’t know how to show them because hatred blinded him.

I think this rumor is from a light novel called Akatsuki Hiden or whatever shit. But for me, it looks like a pathetic attempt to convince those horny women shippers who would pay any money to read a romance which mirrors their own love life where they desire an ‘unreachable & handsome’ man who has this ‘cool & overbearing’ aura and carries this ‘bad boy badass’ vibe. They would do anything to get the attention from this boy. Until this point is where the reality ends. 

What they really wants to happen and fantasize is somehow that handsome man, one day, will look only them and recognize their love and becomes a ‘soft’ guy who would bring the heavens for them and treats her like a princess. That fantasy led them to buy these novels and believe everything while completely disregarding the canon material. And those novels are aimed at these type of women.

You must have been wondering now, ‘I have seen these type of shit somewhere’!!!!!

That’s right.

50 Shades of Grey, Twilight, Beauty and the Beast, 100′s of K-Drama, C-Drama follow this shit romance trope and it’s regrettably fucking popular. 

In other words, Don’t believe anything apart from the canonic resources. 

Let’s dissect the canon materials about SS.

TEAM 7 

This is how it all started

Does anyone see anything positive here???? 

Well, I am not.

Sakura wanted to impress Sasuke. Since, Naruto always picks fight with Sasuke, she badmouthed Naruto in the hopes that Sasuke will recognize some common ground with her which may develop into a friendship. But she shot her own foot. 

[Regardless, I hated her here and she never redeemed herself, for her being completely insensitive & oblivious towards Sasuke’s life, the boy she loves]

Technically, Sasuke should have said ‘You’re Annoying’ towards Naruto for kissing him before the class and tying him up later. Here, Sakura is simply badmouthing another guy. He, somehow, find this very annoying than anything Naruto did earlier. 

Sasuke always had feelings for Sakura but he didn’t know how to show them because hatred blinded him.

Am definitely not seeing any feelings here.  

ZABUZA ARC

Alright, much later, somehow Sasuke started to integrate into team 7 and started to see them as a Family. No denial here. He started to care about everyone in his team at some point. Which was evident from the way he thought to himself, ‘That was Sakura’s voice... What is Kakashi doing?’

But does it means he hopelessly fell in love with her??? Nope. 

It’s just a team camaraderie where he was worried about his teammate. If he has special feelings towards her, he should have said ‘I must go save Sakura’ or something along the line. 

But, later in that episode, he went on to die for Naruto and even at his dying moments he didn’t think about Sakura or Team 7. It was all about someone else.

Even seconds before falling into Naruto’s arms, Sasuke was smiling with no regrets. 

It was funny very later that after he got up from his temporary death, rather than consoling her like ‘Sakura, Don’t cry. Am alright’ or anything, he was asking ‘Where’s Naruto?’. LOL.

Even much later, when Sakura was asking him about a date, he bluntly said ‘I refuse’.

So, you’re telling me, throughout this arc, a boy blinded with hatred can able to pout, play childish games, train and die for a boy but when it comes to Sakura he can’t show his feelings???

Sorry, I don’t see romance here. Not in this arc.

Whether you agree or not, every parent has their favorite child, every child has their favorite parent. Even within your family, you always have a special person.

For Sasuke, Itachi was that person in his real family. Sakura was not that person in his Team 7 family. It was Naruto.

CHUNIN EXAMS ARC

This arc is where those SS shippers celebrates a lot and I know why. Remember earlier I talked about that shitty 50 Shades of Grey romantic trope??? The following scene vaguely falls under that pattern.

A guy loses his control because of a cursed seal and beats up the guys who hurt one of his teammates which happens to be a girl and calms down after seeing the girl. 

That Infamous back hug. 

I understand why SS people lose their mind with that scene. And I don’t blame them. I am going to throw their own proof at them.

So, this First databook, tells us that he finally sees both Naruto and Sakura as comrades and his heart softens from the path of revenge, a little bit.

Definitely, Sakura’s tears or love towards him stopped his rampage. But nothing says about whether Sasuke loves her back.  

Much later, Sasuke also stops his cursed seal on his own after thinking about worried Sakura and a screaming Naruto (Who don’t know about this seal thingy at that time). 

Well, whatever. That databook has another funny fact, that too in the same page. 

LOL. Weird!!!! This accidental kiss unravels Sasuke’s heart ❤️❤️???? 🤣🤣🤣

So, influencing Sasuke’s heart can be attributed to both his teammates,according to this databook. Atleast upto this arc. There are no special feelings for Sakura alone, guys. 

Proof?

If Sasuke really considers her in a romantic light (this is after that back hug), he doesn’t have to do this at all. Believe me, Love is all about subconsciously or purposefully enjoying or feeling little touches. Those touches can be through eyes, memories or physical. Sakura is delighted with his touch because she loves him but Sasuke just see her as a comrade and keeping his distance but this time very politely.

If Kishi really likes these couple, he doesn’t have to make this scene at all. It’s not just this one instance, he rejected her twice very bluntly before this saying ‘Don’t cling to me!!!’, ‘Sakura, you’re heavy!!!’. 

If you say her back hug is a token of romance, then I can say ‘this’ kiss is also a token of romance. You can’t ignore one while keeping the other.

Anyways, at the end of the arc, Orochimaru is the best judge to identify who can change Sasuke’s heart. And that person is not Sakura.

DEPARTURE

she confessed and poured out her heart and he blew it off. I cringed hard and was beyond disappointed because she’s making it about herself. That’s literally how I feel about their damn “relationship”. She made it about her and her only. When he’s hurting, it’s about her. It’s so annoying and it makes me see how self-centered Sakura. When she said she understood Sasuke, I wanted to scream (I nearly did but my family is sleeping and I don’t need a lecture.) She doesn’t know Jackshit about Sasuke besides he’s the only survivor of his decease clan, he’s a loner who cares only about himself, and he’s attractive.

You know what, Larry??? You are 1000% right. 

But, atleast, I thought she was genuine in the first part of the proposal, like saying ‘Revenge is not good’.....bla bla.. Because, Revenge will never satisfy a person completely and I agree. Then she took a 180 degree by saying ‘Take me with you, Sasuke-Kun. I’ll make you happy’. This is where I lost it entirely. ‘Alright Bitch, So you really don’t care about his revenge or health. As long as you have the chance to get inside his pants, you are okay with it. So you are okay with Sasuke going to Orochimaru as long as you are with him..... Fucking Shit!!!!’  This is not okay at all. 

How did Sasuke respond?

“Why should I have to tell you anything”

“I’m telling you to keep your nose out of my business”

“Stop bothering me over everything I do”

Ummm..... where I come from, this screams ‘Irritation’ to me. Added to it, throughout the whole conversation he never saw her face. There was evidently no pain or anything from his face. On top the cake, here comes the cherry

“You really are...annoying”

This is where he saw her face throughout that painful confession before knocking her out. Umm... When you love someone or atleast feel for someone, you will look in their eyes and speak some farewell words before you leave. Or atleast show some pain??? There’s visibly nothing from Sasuke’s face. 

Alright, I know what SS wankers will pull out here. That Databook 2 with some vague words. I am going to throw this at them. 

Again, like I acknowledged before, he considers her as a comrade and part of a family. So, her existence also eased his loneliness. But you have to look at the word choice here. “The one that filled his lonely existence was Sakura”. It’s not the ‘Only’ person. Before he left he said ‘Thanks’. Meaning, Thanks for all these days. That’s all between us. 

This piece was about the Team 7 picture. So he acknowledges, he was not alone during his genin days because of his companions and Kakashi (so it’s not just Sakura to ease his loneliness). Whatever he said to Sakura was real. 

So can we safely confirm “You’re annoying” is real????

But what’s really interesting is the way Sasuke projects himself before Naruto. I am going to refrain myself from attaching all those rollercoaster of emotions flowed throughout the fight in VoTE 1. Otherwise, it will become an SNS post. 

However, this particular scene caught my attention.

Ummm.... Initially Sasuke walks without looking at Naruto. Then he looks back and answers him. 

Naruto was pretty much asking the same question as Sakura. “Why does it come to this?”

But Sasuke pauses and surprised for a moment and asks him pretty much “Why do you care about me?”

Why couldn’t Sasuke do the same with Sakura???? Kishi can pretty much make a panel or two rather than making some insulting panels.

Anyways, If they throw the databook, then I can also throw the same.

Alright, can someone explain the highlighted sentence for me???? Because I want to confirm whether I have a blurry vision.

Here, Sasuke is trying to punctuate Naruto as a different person from the rest of his companions. ‘his companions as well as that with Naruto’, I mean, Come on!!!! Naruto is also one of your companions along with Sakura. Why differentiate????

‘The village, companions, Naruto,....’ . Again....He is differentiating his home (village), companions (his friends), and Naruto. So who is Naruto for him? What is the need to make exception for Naruto? It’s very clear he is placing Naruto at a high pedestal for some unknown reasons.

Before this Databook dissection, remember I said something about saying Goodbye, ‘ When you love someone or at least feel for someone, you will look into that person’s eyes and speak some farewell words before you leave‘

Sasuke is doing exactly that here in this scene without saying anything.

Am sorry SS shippers, you can scream all you want about Sasuke knocked her out and left her on the bench. But there was no emotional distraught when he left her. Sasuke seemingly spent a longer time staring at Naruto than looking at Sakura when she confessed. 

OROCHIMARU HIDEOUT

Well, there is nothing I can say about here for SS. He pretty much saw her and said, “Sakura, huh?”.. And that’s all. He didn’t give two shits about her. 

His attention was completely on someone else. 

UNDER THE BRIDGE

She sent Naruto to get Sasuke for her benefits, so she can keep him. Again, disregarding Sasuke’s feelings and what he wanted. Naruto should’ve said “I’ll bring him back because HE wants too, to keep HIM safe, not for you.”

Naruto pretty much said the same thing in this arc, Larry. Naruto, in part 1, was happy for Sakura feeling the same about Sasuke as him, that is ‘To bring him back’. And also sad that his crush really loves someone else. But after Sakura gave up on Sasuke and faking her confession, Naruto decided, ‘Alright, I want to save him personally. I don’t care about our promise anymore”. 

This is where, SS ship goes into a crazy ride and it’s not a positive one.

Sasuke was on a rampage. He lost the ability to differentiate between his friends and foes. He stabbed Karin. And when he find her alive, he was about to Chidori her. 

And then comes the pink princess, full of lies and deceit. And Sasuke being impatient and disgusted with her lies, he does this

Well, in part 1, she had a degree of power to change his heart. But not here. He, instead, got riled up more and even tried to kill her without a warning and that too by not looking at her face. Pathetic!!!!

This scene screams ‘Trust issues’ from both sides. 

Did it stop here???

Fucking Shit!!!!!! Is there any people who still ship this nonsense?. If you are a Sakura fan, you should hate her for the lack of trust and backstabbing the person she loves, 

If you are a Sasuke fan, errrrmmm.....I have nothing to say. You know what to do. 

There is nothing positive here, that can make me ship them. He is killing her like a Mosquito.

If you truly loved someone in the past, even in your darkest moments, you will be honest and you cannot fake before that person.   

Proof??

Here, Sasuke had a clear resolve to kill his brother, Itachi. He lived for this moment for about 8 years and immersed himself in Darkness for 3 years with Orochimaru. He could have run away, dodge or look away from Itachi. But Sasuke simply couldn’t!!! You know why?? Sasuke loved Itachi once more than anything in this world. At this moment, he is letting all those defense loose and embracing the moment and see what Itachi was about to do. Because somewhere in his heart he trusts Itachi. 

But killing Sakura doesn’t make Sasuke feel anything. She is just another victim like Danzo or Karin or all those Samurais or a fucking mosquito!!!!

So you are telling me that Sasuke had feelings for her but kept it hidden all along and still tried to kill her like a pest???

Give me a fucking break!!!!

And you all know, who changed Sasuke’s heart here in this scene. It was not Sakura. There’s absolutely no reason for Sasuke to listen to that person and what’s more, Sasuke even made a promise (despite being in darkness, he had it in his heart to listen to that person) to destroy Konoha only after killing that person .. 

WAR ARC

Well, this is the arc where Sakura behaves like a rabid dog on heat waiting for Sasuke and shamelessly trying to wag her tails. But Sasuke didn’t give two shits about her, not once or twice but multiple times.

MOMENT 1

An explosion was about to kill the whole shinobi alliance and this dude wants to save Jugo, his companion and Naruto, the person who will challenge his Revolution, his rival and the one whom he wants to kill. Why only Naruto??? Why not Naruto and Sakura???

Pink cherry Queen doesn’t even crossed Sasuke’s mind.  Because he already threw her away in part 1. 

MOMENT 2

Alright Bitch!!! The entire shinobi alliance was dying on the other side of the battlefield. And this asshole is doing a clownshow before Madara just to get inside Sasuke’s pants????

I mean, Come On!!!! 

Well, if Sasuke truly likes her, he should be the one to have catched her or atleast should have asked her, ‘are you alright??’ 

I am sorry, where are the romantic feelings???

MOMENT 3

ROFLLLL🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

For the first time, Kishimoto is trolling those Sakutards through Sasuke’s words, what we, readers were right about all along. He is calling her useless here. And still these fake feminazis trying to ship her with him???

Don’t you guys have any self respect??? If so, this should be the moment to jump out of this trash ship.

MOMENT 4

Geez!!! You are still on this ship????? 

He clearly doesn’t want to save her at all. The hawk can clearly lift 3 people. Sasuke is not even making an effort here. 

And you are still yapping that he is blinded by darkness??? 

MOMENT 5

This is the moment SS calls it as ‘eyesmex’... While in reality, he was just looking at her and silently thanking her for helping him out. Do you know what is a real ‘eyesmex’??? I will attach it at the end.

If you guys pull this as true love, then he should have stayed in the same love till the end. But Sasuke has other ideas. 

This is the one of the funniest thing in this arc. LOLLLLL

Instead of being relieved that Sakura was saved, Sasuke was wondering about Kakashi’s Susanoo.....and Sharingan. 

Do people still think he cares about her????

MOMENT 6

Am cackling here, while dissecting the sorry state of this ship guys 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣!!!! If something good happens to me because of SS , it’s just the way you guys are making me laugh by making a clown out of yourself!!!!

Do you guys know something? There was a man named Itachi. Before massacring his clan, the very first person he killed was his ‘supposed’ Girlfriend, named Izumi. I wouldn’t say Itachi loved her like a lover boy. It was just one sided on her part. He just talks to her when he finds a spare time and considers her a good friend. 

Do you know how he killed her? 

By putting her in a ‘Tsukuyomi’. And what kind of Tsukuyomi, you ask?

Can you see how he fulfilled her dreams gracefully before he was going to kill her???

Why didn’t Sasuke do this???? Why particularly select a murdering genjutsu????

MOMENT 7

He said it, finally.

He don’t love her at all. There was no hidden feelings. He admitted from his own mouth. 

One day later, after the final VoTE battle ends.... After exchanging some intense feelings and even crying tears of happiness with Naruto....

Sasuke tells Sakura, ‘Sorry’....

Ummm.... That’s all???

All those negative shits happened before cannot be solved by just simply saying ‘Sorry’ and ‘Thank you’. If someone has an ounce of self-respect, they should know this is not OKAY at all...🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️

Am Sorry, but Sasuke was just being politely blunt, kind of insincere towards Sakura and turned his attention somewhere else in a matter of minutes. He was not even bothered by Sakura’s tears here. Instead staring at someone on his left. Remember I talked about touching the person physically and visually?

Sasuke is subconsciously or purposefully touching someone on his left through his eyes. Definitely it’s not Sakura. You know who it is. Remember SStards’ infamous ‘eyesmex’... I seriously believe this is a perfect example of ‘eyesmex’.

All these intense looks and feeling pain still doesn’t serve Sakura, even after pulled out of darkness. If there is a moment, where SS wants to shine, then this is where it should be. He should have told her, how he missed her all along, how he felt about hurting her, should have wiped her tears and some corny shit. But instead, Sasuke went for a long ass monologue for his friend and talking about sharing his pain. 

What about your kween’s pain???? 

You don’t have to ship SNS. But you should know where Sasuke’s priorities are. 

It’s not Sakura. 

Sasuke said ‘Sorry’ to Karin too. ‘Thank you’ to Kakashi as well. 

And what’s even more pathetic is, still Sakura wants to get inside Sasuke’s pants by accompanying him. Bitch, you can help your village, console your best friend Ino who lost her father, try to surpass Tsunade, improve your skills or whatever... Why bother him???

So, if you really think ‘Thank you’ as a token of love, then I can’t help it but term Sakura as a rabid dog who waits for her master to come home and throw some bones whenever he finds time. Your standards for a romantic love is piss poor and you will suffer just like Sakura in Boruto with just emptiness. All Sasuke did was poke her forehead just like Itachi which symbolizes keeping someone at a distance. He also said the same words to her just like Itachi said to him many times ‘Mata kondo da’ meaning ‘Maybe next time’. And we all knew that next time never came for Sasuke. 

Now all we see is a Sasuke as an absentee father in Boruto for which I don’t blame him. He was never a marriage material in the first place. Sakura and the Manga Editors forced him and she is paying for it. 

Hell, Sarada doesn’t know how her own father looks like or the truth of her mother. Both of them were miserable and I find it absolutely ridiculous when SS shippers still say “they’re in love” or they’re OTP.

All I want to say to SS shippers is, Your Ship Has Sailed Already. You cannot expect Sasuke to go lovey dovey towards Sakura with a 12 year old daughter around and for fuck’s sake, this is not a romance manga, it’s a battle manga. So stop dreaming about this kind of non-existential romance and pull yourself altogether.

[theskywaslookingback]

tma fic recs please ? 🤲🏽

Oooooo yes! I never get asks like this, thank you!

[my tumblr fic recs tag is here for browsing]

I had to put it under a cut because it got...entirely too long barely half an hour into making it, sorry.

Under 5k

means of cartharsis by orphan_account [G] [965]

“You’d think – you’d that at this point nightmares would be second nature for me, hm?” Martin says, forcing a smile even as he tugs the blanket tighter around his trembling shoulders.

It’s meant to be a bit funny. Instead of laughing, though, Jon frowns.

“No,” he says simply, and matter-of-factly wipes the moisture from Martin’s cheeks with a tissue like he’s a crying child.

A Proper Sleepover by Goodluckdetective (scorpiantales) [T] [1.4k]

In a different world, one where Elias is not waiting for them outside the Lonely, everyone has a chance to savor a moment of respite. As much as they can get these days. If only to talk about things that long need to be spoken.

“Basira says we should all sleep in the same room tonight,” Jon says without looking up. “Safer. So we can keep an eye out for intruders and also each other.”

“So we’re having a proper sleepover then?”

Jon scoffs. “Technically we’ve been having a proper one for months.”

where i go, when i go there by rainny_days [T] [1.7k]

Martin wants Jon to hold his hand. Martin doesn't want Jon to hold his hand.

It's complicated.

all the other ways by AptlyNamed [G] [2.2k]

Jon loses his first soul mark when he is eight years old.

a palace from ruin by bibliocratic [G] [2.2k]

"What're you sorry for?” Martin asks.

“I should have asked,” Jon says finally. “I'd never.... you were always so private about him, so I mean, at first I wasn't sure he was even yours, but then – when you, when you went with Peter, and I – he was so small, and I thought he was h-half-dead. S-so I picked him up and I carried him. And I'm sorry.”

interiors by doomcountry [T] [2.7k]

In the doorway, he fumbles with his keys. Their sound is loud in the silent stairwell. You don’t remember getting here.

searching for a light (for a right) by Kalgalen [T] [2.7k]

Some people make the mistake of assuming he's naive about sex, for the simple reason he hasn't dated in a while. Tim has called him a prude, at one point, and implied that he was somehow afraid of the intimacy required by the act; he wasn’t entirely wrong, but this definitely isn’t the reason for Jon's disinterest and general bafflement toward what most people seemed to consider as "what makes them human".

Jon simply hasn't found the right person. That is all it is: high standards, and a reticence to let people in.

(In which Jon finds out society is wrong about what a romantic relationship should be.)

how to plant a garden in rocky soil by treeprince [T] [2.9k]

Sometimes you just need a good pair of hands to work out all the kinks in your life.

Good thing Martin has two.

A Weather In The Flesh by cuttooth [G] [3k]

"There is a span of years where Jon doesn’t touch anyone other than the occasional hand shake. It’s not so bad. He’s never been someone who’s needed physical affection."

*

Jon has never been any good at making people want to stick around.

I'll bring the motion by callmearctus [T] [3.1k]

A long series of kidnappings and international flights leaves its own special mark on someone. Before the Unknowing, Jon is a mess.

Martin helps.

A Bread Made In Heaven by Againstme [G] [3.3k]

Martin moves over and watches how his boyfriend handles the dough. He's awkward with it, tentative and gentle, as if he's scared of hurting it somehow.

"Is this, uh, am I doing this right?" Jon asks, still slowly stretching out the dough and folding it onto itself.

"Well," he says shifting closer to Jon again, "you could be applying more pressure. Here, let me help you out, dear."

Martin moves fully behind Jon, and reaches around him, putting his hands on top of his boyfriend's. Jon inhales sharply, but doesn't say anything else, just lets Martin's hand rest on top of his.

Martin's hands are bigger, but not big enough to entirely envelop the other's hands, and Jon's hands are much, much warmer than his own are. To see what they're doing, Martin moves his head to look over Jon's shoulder. Though he can't see his boyfriend's face from this angle, he can see how it is slowly growing red at the edge of his vision. He decides not to tease him on it, instead content with letting a smile spread across his face and slowly guiding their joined hands in the proper motion.

Or, Martin teaches Jon how to make bread.

stumbling and spinning by lady_mab [G] [3.3k]

“Things happened,” Jon says demurely, trying to untangle Gerry’s fingers, but it only results in him getting pulled in so Gerry can kiss him properly. “It’s not all that bad.”

“I suppose not,” Gerry says with a sigh, sitting back upright. “You somehow managed to snag an incredible boyfriend out of it.”

It takes a solid few seconds before realization clicks in Martin’s brain. “You mean me?” [...]

“You have to admit, Jon has great tastes,” Gerry teases.

nothing sweeter than local honey by beeclaws [T] [3.4k]

So Tim is content, one arm leaned into the spray, waiting for the water to warm, enjoying the feeling of homecoming underneath the gentle fuzz of jetlag, when he hears gasping, panicked breaths coming from the other room.

Tim and Jon, in the aftermath, relearning how to be okay.

When Words are Inadequate by Mugatu [T] [3.8k]

Meals and the preparation of are, for want of a better word, informative. Fact gathering. A place where they can fill in the gaps of their knowledge of the other.

Jon cooks for Martin, and they learn more about each other.

go softly by doomcountry [T] [4k]

And there is nothing else besides this.

Imago by cuttooth [T] [4k]

“Jon?” he asks tentatively, tightening his grip around the poker as it slips against his sweaty palm. The antennae twitch, and suddenly Martin knows that it’s Jon, the knowledge sliding into his mind in a surge of desperate affection, the same profound love he felt that first time he truly saw Jon in the fog of the Lonely.

“Oh,” he whispers. “It really is you.”

*

Jon changes, but he’s still the same to Martin.

shoreline by bibliocratic [G] [4.1k]

“Martin," Tim says kindly, tipsily, only mildly slurring. "Dearest, dearest Martin. You're wankered, babe. Last train to Stockwell fucked off hours ago because it is now piss off o'clock in the morning, and there's a sofa with your exact name on it at my place. Thought you said you wanted some handsome fellow to take you back to his tonight?”

Or: The OG Archive crew go drinking, Martin comes out, and gets some well deserved TLC. In that order.

get your epitaph right by bibliocratic [G] [4.2k]

Martin's daemon has tried on the shape of dogs and lizards and snakes and horses, and even – once, when he was younger and Mum took him to the seaside, a fish.

Martin's never seen his soul in the dressing of a spider before.

i've known the warmth of your doorways by beeclaws [T] [4.2k]

'I’m always in pain, Jon wants to say, even as he dismisses the thought as melodramatic. Between his growing collection of old wounds and scar tissue, the supernatural hunger for statements that hasn’t been truly satiated in months, and the unpredictable aches and strains his body threw off day by day long before he ever set foot in the Institute, some level of pain and discomfort follows Jon wherever he goes now. He is used to being in pain. He’s not used to someone holding his hand as he suffers through it.'

Jon catalogs the comforts he receives, and wonders how long he will be allowed to keep them.

lay down your weary head by Zykaben [T] [4.6k]

Jon has been running himself ragged, searching for every scrap of information he can possibly find about the Unknowing. He's exhausted and sleep-deprived but he can't bring himself to take a break, not now.

Luckily, Tim and Martin are there to make sure that their boyfriend gets the care and rest he needs.

only the sweetest words remain by bluejayblueskies [T] [4.6k]

This isn't how things are supposed to go, right? Jon remembers those ratty paperbacks from the charity shops, dime-a-dozen romance novels with broken bindings and yellowing pages and words that spoke of love and passion and sexuality in prose that was more than a bit too mature for someone whose age hadn’t yet reached double digits. Stolen glances turn into dinner dates turn into passionate kisses turn into…

Well, he’d never actually read those parts of the books, because it had all seemed so deeply uncomfortable and gross. But he got the picture.

Or, Jonathan Sims, on being loved

5k-20k

and they keep not letting go by Marianne_Dashwood [G] [5k]

It’s an electric feeling, something strange and new and familiar all at once, even though he has been holding Martin’s hand for most of the day. His stomach swoops, like he is standing on the edge of the precipice of realisation and staring into the void of unknowing. But at the same time, he does know. In this instant of contact between them, the last few years of cups of tea and small smiles and momentary glances, of panic and fear and only feeling safe with Martin’s solid presence in the room, despite his paranoia, rush into him, and oh, oh oh.

ready to call this love by yewgrove [G] [5.6k]

How is Martin supposed to tell Jon that he panicked, stupidly, when the lovely old lady down the village asked him what they were doing in this part of the world? Got the shopping! Oh, by the way, we're married now! Whole village thinks we're on our honeymoon, hope you don't mind!

Prenons-nous la main by luftballons99 [T] [6k]

They still haven't talked about it, any of it, not even to pass the time on the long train ride to Scotland. Instead, Martin fell asleep in the seat next to him, pressed into his side from shoulder to knee, and Jon thought about love confessions and verb tense and how the two fit together when you think you're dying.

or: Good cows, mediocre poetry, and other crucial topics of discussion.

This Must Be The Place by cuttooth [T] [6k]

“You said – you said we were going home,” Martin says softly.

“I did,” says Jon, and is grateful that Martin doesn’t comment on him calling the Archives home. “I – I don’t really know where to go. I, uh, I don’t have a flat anymore, I don’t think. We could find a hotel?”

“Let’s go to my place,” says Martin. His hand squeezes Jon’s, more gently than before. Most importantly, Jon notes, he doesn’t let go.

*

Jon and Martin go home for a little while.

Small Things, Simple Acts by ZaliaChimera [T] [6.6k]

Even after leaving London, Jon and Martin are not free, not really. Maybe they never will be.

But for now they can be themselves, and maybe in the end, that's enough.

house by tomatoes [G] [9k]

Martin can take care of himself.

roses, roses, roses by acetheticallyy (judesstfrancis) [T] [9.3k]

Rose scented laundry detergent. Running into Jon in the breakroom. Running into Jon on his way back to his desk. Rose scented detergent. Running into Jon. Roses. Jon. Roses, roses, roses.

a deeply annoying child by ajkal2 [G] [9.6k]

Jon is hiding under the desk.

----

There's a child in the Archives, who shouldn't be there.

Inseparable by voiceless_terror [T] [10.3k]

“You can stay.” The voice interrupts his internal panic, and he looks over to find Jon studiously avoiding his gaze, staring hard at a neighboring bush. Martin wonders what caused his sudden change of heart. “But you have to sit on the other side. And don’t talk to me.”

Jonathan Sims and Martin Blackwood meet as children. Some things change, others do not.

i'm almost me again, you're almost you by gruhukens [G] [12k]

After a second Jon steps in towards him, close enough that Martin flinches, but all Jon does is put two fingers under his chin with his free hand and raise it until Martin can’t duck away. Jon has never touched him so casually before – at least, not until today, and it raises a lot of thoughts and feelings that Martin is trying very hard not to process.

Much like a lot of other things that have happened, he thinks. Not that it’s horrible or terrifying or numbing like everything else has been: it’s just another thing on the list of things he doesn’t have the capacity to deal with.

---

In the wake of the Lonely, there's a lot that Martin doesn't really want to think about.

hello my old heart by firebirdsuite [T] [15.8k]

Peter’s wrong, of course. When it’s all over, Martin does still want to tell Jon everything. It’s just—well, there’s a few things they need to work through first before they can get there.

Martin and Jon find each other again in Scotland.

Over 20k

The Kindness of Strangers by TheOestofOCs [M] [23k]

It was easier to treat Jon like a monster when he wasn’t shivering against his back, brokenly humming—wait, was that…

“Are you trying to do ‘Hey, Jude’?” Tim demanded.

Jon stopped, stiffening. “Mm hrmh mm mmh hm,” he said defensively.

“You really can’t hold a tune, can you, boss?”

*

It was just an ordinary walk to a restaurant. Tim had insisted that if they were going to talk, there would be no tape recorders or weird Archives ghosts listening in. A bit of fresh air wouldn’t kill him, Tim had said. What could go wrong?

By the time Jon spots the white delivery van, it’s much too late.

The Stranger kidnaps Jon. Tim comes along for the ride.

Misjudged by ShastaFirecracker [T] [36.5k]

Martin's been a longtime listener of What the Ghost, so when Georgie gives a shoutout to her flatmate's Twitch channel during a Q&A, he checks it out - only to discover that her flatmate is also his most terrifying coworker at his new job. The first time they crossed paths, Jon yelled at him for incompetence. But on the streams, Martin sees an entirely different person - someone fun and relaxed, engaging and unfairly attractive. Over time, Martin begins to find that Jon buried inside his dour, awkward coworker. He also learns to live with the fact that his crush is painfully one-sided... or is it?

if we make it through the night everyone is gonna hear us (Series) by skvadern [Ratings Vary] [42.4k]

In which Sasha survives the NotThem (with a little help from a certain Distortion) and she and Jon spend s2 working together to try and make sense of everything that's happening to them. It goes...interestingly

the garden of forking paths by bibliocratic [T] [49.7k]

Whatever he had predicted might happen, Jon wasn't expecting to survive upon demolishing the Panopticon. He certainly wasn't expecting to be rescued.

Instead, he wakes up in an alternative universe where he's never been the Archivist, and Martin Blackwood doesn't exist.

Martin Blackwood wakes up somewhere else entirely.

it's only forever by lady_mab [T] [50.9k]

“The castle at the center of the labyrinth,” Jon breathes, recalling again the words from one of the past conversations with Martin. “He’s there.”

“Turn back, Jonathan,” the Goblin King says, and Jon is surprised to hear a slight edge of desperation in the tone. “Turn back before it’s too late.”

“I can’t,” Jon answers with the same tone. “You know that I can’t.”

The Goblin King’s grin is gone completely, and he regards Jon with a degree of pity before that melts into resignation.

Yesterday is Here by CirrusGrey [T] [53.3k]

"Who the hell are you?" Jon could feel his hands shaking. The man laughed, taking a step forward and raising a hand to point at him. "I'm you, from the future!" he said, then swayed, eyes going unfocused, and collapsed to the floor in a dead faint. -------- Post-season-four Jon and Martin time travel back to the season one Archives.

A Home For What Loves You by TheWrongShop [T] [151k]

It was completely fine that Jon was following up on this very normal, non-supernatural statement at midnight on a Friday. He was going to find nothing at all, and then he was going to go home and sleep for fourteen straight hours and feel absolutely no qualms about moving case #0150409 directly into the filing cabinet marked "discredited".

Or; Jon and Martin end up investigating Carlos Vittery's basement and finding the entity formerly known as Jane Prentiss together.

RATED E *MINORS DNI*

A Look And A Voice by cuttooth [E] [6.9k]

“Do you want to have sex with me?” Jon asks bluntly, and for a second Martin can’t breathe.

“It - it doesn’t matter what I - ” he begins valiantly, before Jon interrupts him.

“Because I want to have sex with you, and frankly it doesn’t matter if you think it’s for the wrong reasons. I’m an adult. I can make my own decisions. The only thing that matters is if you want to as well.”

*

Martin meets a guy in a bar and takes him home.

Warms The Coldest Night by cuttooth [E] [11k]

"Flame that warms the coldest night Bring to us the waxing Light, Be with us on Solstice Night." Gypsy - Bring Back The Light

There is mistletoe hanging in the doorway to the Archives when Jon gets in.

Curiosity by ShastaFirecracker [E] [11.6k]

“You know that conversation we had the other day about how one of the most important things for queer youth to learn is that it's okay to change their minds, because identity and self-discovery are always fluid?”

Behind him, Martin slipped oven mitts over his hands and pulled open the oven door. The scent of garlic and rosemary flooded the kitchen. “Yeah?” he said.

“I, um... I'd like to revisit the topic of sex.”

At the Interim (Series) by Rend_Herring [E] [41k]

A Measure Outside the Lines and The Residuum

triptych (Series) by Stacicity [E] [44.9k]

A collection of Jon/Tim/Martin fics

a steady hand, a delicate man by callmearctus [E] [52.8k]

Martin is the proprietor and manager of a very discrete and fairly exclusive brothel situated between Belgravia and Chelsea. Blackwood House excels at special requests and pleasing any client.

Except for Jon, who probably has never been pleased a day in his entire life.

Despite that, he still comes back. It eventually begs the question: how do you solve a problem like Jon Sims?

[thunderheadfred]

🤚Shigaraki HC's🤚

Part 1 of my Shigaraki Thesis HCs. The Second Worst: 1 - 2

This was rough because even though Shigaraki is one of my favorite characters of all time, I have nothing sexy to say about him canonically.

that's a lie, i'm lying. i had to break this post into parts, that's how much of a liar liar pants on fire i am

Warnings for quite possibly everything. Minors do not interact.

- - - - -

Okay first of all:

You know it. I know it. We all know it. This man is not boyfriend material. He disintegrates boyfriend material for fun.

You don’t want to date this man.

Frankly, you can’t date this man.

Seriously. Run.

If you’re a villain, you’re his underling. Maybe, if you squint, you’re kind of like his... um... least-hated workplace associate. What do you want, a trophy?

If you’re a hero, good luck not dying horribly. Maybe you’d make a cute hostage. Hope you can escape cuz he is NOT letting you out alive.

If you’re a civilian, perhaps that’s the best case scenario. He stalks you a little before he becomes infamous. You go on the worst date of your life but luckily you don't tell him where you live. Later you see him on the news standing in a pile of rubble and you just think, “ohhhhhhh.”

If he somehow, impossibly, against all odds, manages to develop a single affectionate feeling toward you, AFO is going to hunt you down for sport. You are NOT getting in the way of world domination. Again, good luck with that.

If somehow you managed to clear all those hurdles and kiss Shigaraki Tomura square on the lips, I can see one of two things happening.

1) You’re his body pillow now. Goodbye sunlight. You live in his room. He doesn’t have to chain you to the bed, because you know escape is pointless. Congratulations, the end is nigh.

2) Total mind break. At the first sign of genuine human affection, his trauma vault is instantly unlocked. Memories come rushing in, his quirk goes nuts. There’s like a 99.9% chance he’ll accidentally kill you and it will destroy his soul forever. But let’s say you’re the lucky 0.01% - then it’s time to fuck off together to a foreign country. He’s terrified, traumatized, and possibly broken beyond repair, but I guess he’s not a villain anymore? Have fun nursing him back to... semi-sanity.

Moral of the story: you’re better off getting hit with a quirk that takes you to an alternate universe where the worst thing Shimura Tenko ever did was throw a Playstation controller at his sister’s head. He’s an aspiring video game journalist with zero charisma and severe self-image issues. He has no earthly idea how hot he is. Please, for the love of God, fall for that guy instead.

haha just kidding

join me in hell, fellow Shigaraki fuckers:

- - - - -

Scenario the first:

so apparently you enjoy living in a cage?

Listen. He does not smell right. He doesn’t need to bathe much because his skin is constantly annihilating itself. So he’s not exactly dirty, but every instinct in your body is screaming in confusion, unsure if he’s alive or dead.

Breath of the damned. Sweet as moldy lemons. Whatever he eats just... rots. He doesn't produce enough spit.

He will kiss you very deeply. Until you choke. Forget the cold, chapped lips because they're the least of your problems. He's got those skeleton hands caging your face and you're trapped against a wall and his gigantic biting teeth are prying you open. He licks inside your mouth like he's trying to steal your soul. He'll probably succeed.

His hair is exactly as soft as it looks. Too bad you'll never get to touch it.

He’s either got no sexual impulses at all and will laugh at you for trying, or he’s a full-on incel. I don’t know which one. I don’t want to find out. Apparently you do, and I salute your resolve.

You will be lucky if Shigaraki treats you like a pet. He loves his Nintendo DS more than you.

Consent is not applicable. You showed interest in him once, now you're his plaything forever. There's a power imbalance between you so wide you could chuck a planet in there.

Safewords? lol

Doesn't want to break you, because what would be the point? He's already broken enough things. He wants to keep you around for a good long while. He'll take good, good care of you.

Unless you disobey.

Obsessed with making you cum whether you want to or not. Yes, this IS a high score thing. It's just so flattering. Say hello, orgasm torture. Was that another one? Aww. You barely moved. Oh, what's that? You're begging him to stop? Haha. He won't.

Don't cry. He'll drink your tears.

He'll touch you everywhere with bare fingers. Slow, feather-light strokes, like some kind of demented ASMR artist. This is not a trust exercise. He knows exactly how much it terrifies you.

Oh yeah. You're getting finger FUCKED. Do you fantasize about having a loaded gun shoved inside you? Same difference.

Will eat you out like nothing else, but not in bed. That's the kind of shit he does on a boardroom table where anybody could walk in and see you writhing. Spreads you WIDE open and sucks on you. Makes out with your asshole. The whole nine yards. It's wet and loud and nasty.

Only time you're out of his sight (and not locked in your room) is when he shoves a remote control vibrator where the sun doesn't shine. Operates it through an app while he calls you and jerks off. Wants to make your knees fail on a crowded train.

Come here. You get to sit on his lap like a dog. Four fingers on your throat, dick hard under your ass. He'll dry hump you in front of God, the Devil, and everyone else.

If he's playing video games, you're cock-warming. He does not care which hole. He won't even look at you.

He might get hard but he does not get naked. You do not know Shigaraki Tomura on a personal level. You have only the vaguest idea what his dick looks like. It feels long and thin, almost sharp. Maybe he's actually been fucking you with an ice pick this whole time. His hip bones dig into you and bruise. He likes to kiss and bite the marks he leaves.

He mocks you for being so fucking pathetic. Have you always been a such a needy slut or is he really that special? What is wrong with you? Even he thinks you're crazy.

Shigaraki won't kill you, but All For One will.

- - - - -

The Second Worst Scenario:

The half-mad ghost of Shimura Tenko is in love with you, and your life is about to become a tragic wreck.

(this half of the post went completely off the rails and turned into like... a whole-ass Victorian Novel)