#but I sent my professor an email today
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i feel like my life is falling apart and then my friend makes tiramisu and gives me some and asks if i wanna come to the little gathering on wednesday i feel alone in the world and then another friend asks if i want anything i feel unloveable and then we gather in my room with candles and blankets to watch a film all together until midnight it all becomes so much warmer w friends
#i feel like it'll all be nothing and then over a call he says his friends are proud of me. it all feels too messy to fix and she says she#believes in me . theres a layer of seperation between everything and then she puts her hands through mine. we listen to music together#they drag me to the gym. he carries my bag when the groceries are too heavy. she says she has a special ringtone#for when i call her so she knows to answer. and she asks me for advice and tells me about the girl hes seeing and#were about to put a coffee table in the living room i ask if they want tea#we need to buy more throw pillows and blankets. the mattress we have for guests is used often#sometimes i get tunnel vision but i have reasons to be happy#and im rly grateful#i was in bed today feeling so horribly guilty about having to take an extention and my professor sent an email hoping that i was and to tell#him when i feel better etc. and said hed send a recording of the lecture for me . it like#moved me so much that i started remembering all the lovely thibgs#anyway i havent slept#im grateful for the extension but i alrdy pulled the all nighter djdh ok lecture at 4pm we can sleep until like...2pm
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collapses to the ground like a deflated balloon
#my god#stage one is finally complete . . . . . . . .#if you can recall that poll i reblogged about passing out#that important contact i received was mr. seto of the vocaloid team#who messaged me asking about a collaboration and quite literally nearly caused me to pass out#i read the message preview on my phone#stood up#saw stars#and collapsed onto my bed and had to lay down for like. 10 minutes before my body would stop feeling distant and weak w#i similarly felt ready to pass out today when i sent a message to ask when the announcement tweet would be#and they tweeted it. immediately after w#no joke rice and i were scrambling behind the scenes to get our act together and figure out what we wanted to say KHGJGSJKFHGKJ#all the while screaming because yamaha said they'd be posting it on valentine's day and we thought they meant our timezone w#because the whole point of this collab was to get the zolas more well known in the english-speaking sphere w#EITHER WAY#i am. so so tired and now i need to pass out so i can get enough sleep before more internship tomorrow w#which is heating up because my seminar professor wants a detailed plan of my final project goals This Friday#but my mentor won't know anything about where to fit that in until Thursday at the earliest#and my supervisor just hounded me over email to coordinate with the two other people at my station and choose an activity to lead#but that requires. planning. that our mentors won't have until thursday........#perishing . . . . . .
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once again screaming into the void like a feral possum
#i am nervous about today#i just sent the cringiest email to the professor to confirm i'll be there#i have no idea what bus to get there because the option is risking having way too little time to actually run to uni and go to the bathroom#before looking for whatever godforsaken classroom the seminar is in#or being there way early and waiting by myself#which means i'd have time to go broswe the bookstore to look for the last heartstopper graphic novel but also steeping in my anxiety alone#uuuuuuuugh i hate this#cris speaks#the---hermit
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im so stressed
#i have a 1000 word assignment due thurs and i sent my professor an email with questions a week ago and she still hasnt responded#despite me reminding abt it earlier today#and then sending a follow up email a little while ago#and i kinda need my question answered before i can really start#and she never responded to our discussion post she had us do where she had us plan our idea#like she said she would tell us whether we could actually use our ideas or not#and my physics lab partners are stressing me out abt our lab report that i already did last week and dont have the energy to go back to#and i have to catch up on my psych lectures#and my brain has just decided to make me extra anxious lately#i want to die
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being a student is mostly fine until you decide that your best option for a project is to cold email a massive player in the world of conservation and ask if maybe one of their zookeepers might want to answer some of your questions for a paper and have to hope that they don't think you're insane
#i feel like i'd be less nervous if i could email the cheetah department directly#i'd feel more comfortable going straight to the zoologists#but that contact info isn't public#so i have to go through guest relations#and i just dont know if they're going to bother going to ask the cheetah team if they want to talk to me or not#but whatever#email sent#it's not like they know who i am so worst comes to worst they say no#and i have to interview a professor or one of their colleagues instead#i'd just really like to talk to a cheetah caretaker#i got really excited when i had that idea#so fingers crossed#if i was a caretaker at a zoo i'd be stoked to talk to students about stuff i think#personal#this is but one cause of all my stress today and this week
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Being an adult is so fun you get to tell TV licencing to fuck off, register for pension schemes, chase up IT issues, make returns, figure out what you're gonna eat this week so you can actually go grocery shopping an- *is laid face down on the floor*
#adulting#ace is grumpy bean#im having a great morning what about you? love spending my only day off catching up on chores and errands#tbf i did finally receive all of my packages that were being held hostage at reception so it hasnt been all bad#but one of my packages needs to be returned and i gotta exchange my hair dye before i buy groceries today cus i grabbed the wrong shade#i have sent more emails than i would like to have today had to email my professor cus of my student account not working chase IT services up#about that again email about sorting out a refund email the pension scheme i got enrolled in cus the registration wasnt working#then deal with tv licencing 'youre under investigation' shut up 🙄 as if anyone watches live tv anymore anyway#i also forgot to speak to my mum while tryna sort stuff out lately so she texted me worried that something had happened this was after shed#apparently called me while i was sleeping but i ignored cus it ended too quickly and i already got woken up by them testing the fire alarm#its felt like a lot of admin today and i still gotta get groceries but i dont know what im gonna eat or rather what i wanna cook this week#so my shopping list is slow going and i dont really wanna leave my flat anyway but the kitchen needs sorting too cus my flatmates are vile#anyway most of my stuff for Halloween came and lets just say im really glad to have next weekend off for it
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remind me to never ask ppl in college for favors ever again jessusssss...
#so i missed a week about two weeks ago bc i was knocked on my ass by an illness that literally... sent me to the emergency room for-#breathing treatments#and i emailed one of my professors asking for some info on like... what i missed and he simply never responded and then when he did he-#didn't answer my questions properly#so i asked my groupmates 'hello did i miss anything last week that i have to know about for when i come back?'#and they said 'no you didn't.. don't even worry'#and i was like COOL! DOPE!#come to find out today. my first day back in class#(we went on a field trip last week so we weren't in the classroom)#they text in the groupchat talking about a GROUP PROJECT??? TODAY???#DUE TONIGHT OR WEDNESDAY????#and so i ask 'uh hey... group project? since when?"#and they said 'oh yeah.. during the week you missed he assigned us groups and we have to make a still life collaboratively-#it's due either tonight or wednesday depending on what groups need more time'#like JESUS. that would have BEEN NICE TO KNOW????????? LIKE???? WAAAAYYYYYY EARLIER??? WHAT THE FUCK 😭😭😭#and my prof didn't PUT THAT SHIT ON CANVAS EITHER
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that's it my physics class is REALLY starting to piss me off
#so#last night i got an email from a professor because class was virtual#and all we had to do was do the activity for next class and watch the recording (no live zoom)#so i think 'great! ive been working for hours and it's 4am it'll be nice to sleep in!#and then today#i get up with just enough time to shower and get ready for my next class#and what do i find in my fucking inbox?#an email from my teacher sent WHEN CLASS WAS SUPPOSED TO START saying to make sure to turn in the assignment by the end of class#which by the time i was checking my fucking email before heading to calculus#was a little under two hours ago#fuck everything#like yeah sure i shouldve been up before noon and checked my email but STILL#also he worded it like 'please remember to turn in the activity before the end of class'#is if we hadn't gotten conflicting directions literally last night#oh my god this man has 'your award winning professor in his email signature'#he sent an email about how much absences won't be tolerated the day before spring break and signed it 'your award winning professor'#i can't
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Just three more weeks and I’m done with prereqs just three more weeks and I’m done with prereqs just three more weeks and I’m done with prereqs just three more weeks and I’m done with prereqs just three more weeks and I’m done with prereqs just three more weeks and I’m done with prereqs just three more weeks
#aghhhhhhhhh and I was really looking forward to my classes this semester#but I ended up hating half of them#and I completely didn’t understand/misunderstood my Spanish homework reading#and we had to do a discussion post about but I was the first one to do so and kind of half assed it#but now I’m looking at other peoples responses and I realized I completely misunderstood the reading#and now I look like an idiot and my response kind of reads like I’m a callous asshole#and also I sent the professor an email today about a different reading because it was transphobic#and all she sent me was: sorry for the confusion I will change it next time to eliminate the confusion#which is like#whatever#not what I was complaining about and also not the point but at least she’s changing it#but if she brings it up in class tomorrow I don’t really know how well I’m going to be able argue my point because she clearly#didn’t really understand my email or she just didn’t really care#and either way aghhhhhh#I am just so done with this class#also my physics class but for different reasons
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you have to be weird and stupid sometimes. you HAVE to.
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i am so loved. i am so so loved.
#one of my best friends who is also one of my roommates made me dinner tonight#didn’t ask if i wanted dinner. just said what she was thinking of doing and then made it happen. i didn’t need to make a choice or do it#my tutor friends took all the writing tutees tonight. one did it with me barely having to ask#he just made eye contact with me and i said ‘please?’ and he said ‘of course’#and then he made me laugh a lot later#my professors have all sent me really nice emails back#last night when i said it out loud—‘my grandma died’—my roommates hugged me immediately#just. immediately. they held me.#my favorite high school english teacher texted me today for the first time in like a year and a half#to say she’d heard and to say she was sorry#so yeah. grief sucks. i hurt a lot right now. i’m weirdly better in some ways than i thought i might be#but it’s not linear and it’s hard in other ways i didn’t think it would be#and also like she had dementia and she’s been in decline for a long time and it wasn’t totally unexpected#it was unexpected specifically yesterday. i kind of figured there would be a few more months at least. but no.#ouch. ouch ouch ouch.#but i have so many people who love me#and i am so grateful for them#personal#hannah does college
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Everybody WATCH the FUCK OUT the Spanish Department has learned to send emails
#I'm going back and forth on if this is too mean to post#I LIKE my spanish professor but she sent like 8 emails today#and while they're all the NICEST people the foreign language professors are not known for being the most tech savvy
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before people get vicious i want to remind you all of a few things, starting with the fact that third party voters are not to blame for the results of the election, but rather that (1) the democratic party refused to end their genocide at every opportunity and, most influential in this specific case, (2) there has been a substantial rise of right-wing sentiment in this country that is what contributed most directly to the Republican victories we have seen in Congress and in the executive office.
regardless of who entered office, there would have been a substantial need to organize, and we are seeing that now more than ever. this is obviously horrifyingly scary shit, but queer people are resilient, Palestinians are resilient, the Black and Brown and Indigenous people of this country are resilient, the colonized people of the world are resilient. we will be able to organize until every last one of us is dead, so know that there is always something you can do. and that hope is a stronger thing than something one tyrant can end.
this is an interconnected struggle and at no point does our work stop. we don't owe candidates or politicians shit. volunteer with a hotline. call/sign petitions. go out into the streets. create art. form connections with people you may not have talked to before. cook for your friends. connect with unhoused people in your area. talk to the elders in your community. find sanctuary online if you cannot find it in person. politically educate, starting from the absolute basics because that is what is most lost in discourse sometimes. take everything one painful step at a time. maybe you got out of bed, maybe you brushed your teeth, maybe you ate breakfast, maybe you changed clothes-- these are all substantial things, and the movement suffers without you so keep doing them.
this is a terribly scary time in the world for all of us, but it has been a terribly scary time for a while across the world. don't let hopelessness stop you from fighting for the end of the genocide in Palestine, Congo, Sudan, and many other places in the world. know that if you are queer, we have survived worse shit throughout our history, and there are so many more options now for us. we need mutual aid for queer people but also and especially for our siblings of color and our disabled siblings and our poor siblings and our altogether marginalized siblings, from here to Palestine, from Sudan to West Papua, from Tigray to Kurdistan, from Armenia to Congo, from the world to the world.
i don't take a second of my time on earth for granted and i haven't for a few years. i am really fucking scared right now, i have been for months and months but it's taken a new form. but, today, the sun is out and shining on my bedroom floor. i brushed my teeth and i'm going to eat some grapes now. my professor sent a kind email. i have a lot of work to do. i have to get busy loving a lot of people.
eat what it takes to survive. sleep what it takes to survive. talk what it takes to survive. learn what it takes to survive. love what it takes to survive. live where it takes to survive. these are our fundamentals. and know that from there, we organize and we fight for something better than survival.
i am not losing my family, my found family, my friends, my peers, my professors, my roommates, my community like this. we gotta get busy.
take as long as you need to grieve. i have been grieving for a long time (this past year, for Palestine; my lifetime, for Iraq) and will grieve these results for the next four years. but understand that no matter who wins any presidential election, we have to organize. we can learn from our past here. i don't care if it's a bush in office, an obama in office, a trump in office, a biden or a harris in office, we have work to do because they won't do it for us.
Palestine and the occupied nations and people of the world will be free. they will not make martyrs of all of us. the struggle will continue so long as we are all free. victory is assured so long as the struggle continues.
i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you as hard as i hate the empire. this hate and this love forges what we need to keep this struggle alive, until victory and liberation for us all.
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Let Me Handle It, Angel
Pairing: Frat!Rafe Cameron x Reader
Warnings: Blackmailing, Being Sick, Threatening to Kill Someone, Mentions of An Affair
Pronouns: She/Her
Word Count: 1.0K
Summary: Y/N stresses about not being able to take a test after missing it because she is sick, but good thing Rafe is here to help.
Masterlist
He can hear tiny sniffles coming from inside of his room. He opens the door to see the wet globs coming from her eyes and the tiny shrivel of her nose confirms his assumption that she is crying. Her hand tugs at the opposite sleeve of his oversized hoodie that she wears. As soon as their eyes lock, he rushes to sit on the bed and pulls her onto his lap. “What’s wrong, my sweet angel?” he coos, unsticking her hair from the wet trail on her face it attached itself to so that he can look into her eyes. She takes a second to steady her breathing, “Y-you kn-know how I had that test today, but I’ve been puking all week so I couldn’t go?” He nods his head for her to continue. “Well, I emailed my professor at the beginning of the week asking if I could do it another day. He said that I would need to show him a doctor's note before the end of the day for that to happen. I tried telling him that I tried everything all week to get one, but my doctor doesn’t have a free appointment, the clinic can’t give me one because they aren’t my regular doctor and the hospital won’t even see me. So, now, I’m going to lose 20% of my mark because I was sick.”
Rafe listens carefully to her little rant, growing angry at each hoop his sick girlfriend had to go through just to get something as trivial as a redo test. She had been studying every chance she could get, even through her sickness. Rafe knows how serious Y/N is about her grades and school. After all, she needs some great grades to get into grad school. He would never think twice about losing 20% of his grade because all he wants to do is pass the class, which is perfectly doable without that. However, Y/N, especially with her anxiety, needs every percent she can get and Rafe wasn’t going to let some old shit with a stick up his ass stop her from doing so. “It’s going to be okay. Let me handle it, angel,” he assures, kissing her temple.
——
The line to the professor’s office is three people deep. All of them are waiting to enter for his office hours, but Rafe is not going to take the chance of not talking to him. He stares down the first guy in line and walks to the front of the line. From the guy’s smell, he must be an engineering major. No one says anything about Rafe’s actions because he has a well-known reputation on campus. The door opens to the office and Rafe doesn’t wait for the student inside to walk out. The wrinkles on the professor’s forehead crate a v, a frown falling onto his face. “I don’t believe you are in any of my classes,” he states, trying to pinpoint if he has seen Rafe in any of his lectures. Rafe shakes his head in a low chuckle, “No, I am not, Professor Smith. But my girlfriend is. You may remember her from the email you sent her, Y/N Y/L/N.” “Ah, yes. I do remember her. Unless you have the doctor's notes or are a doctor, then I am afraid I can’t do anything. It’s not my fault she didn’t plan accordingly,” Smith comments, not looking up from his laptop.
Rafe closes the teacher’s laptop. This causes the man to look at him and he gives him a threatening smile. “I’m sorry to say that I don’t have any notes. But my angel won’t be needing one,” he sings, running his finger along the desk. The elder’s head tilts, “Really? And why would that be?” Rafe’s grin turns almost psychotic.
“Because I know a little secret about where you like to spend your Sunday nights. I have a lot of photographic evidence that I’m sure the university and your wife would love.”
“I have no idea what you are talking about.”
“Let’s not play this game. My frat brother also likes to visit the little lady you like to have a dalliance with and he told me everything she told him. If that doesn’t convince you, then maybe the piece in my nightstand drawer will.”
The bob of the professor’s Adam’s apple is very evident, “Are you trying to blackmail me?”
“Nice to see you finally caught up on what is going on. Now, are you going to do what I asked?”
Smith looks at Rafe with wide eyes and the points of his lips stretch. He can see the seriousness on Rafe’s face. His head gives a small nod, “Y-yes. I think I can do something for Ms. Y/L/N.” “That’s great. Let’s type her a nice apologetic email. And if you even think about telling anyone about this, then you might just find yourself six feet under,” Rafe intimidates, reopening the laptop for the professor.
——
Wind passes through her hair as she makes her way towards Rafe. Her smile rivals the sun and she jumps into his arms. Her legs wrap around his waist. He grips the back of her thighs to keep her up. “What has you so happy, my angel? Only I’m allowed to do that,” Rafe complains, peppering kisses all over her face. She giggles at the assault of his lips, “Professor Smith let me redo the test without a doctor’s note. I got a 100%.” Rafe lets out a cheer, spinning her around. “That’s so great! You work so hard. I’m so proud of you, angel,” he praises. She gives her his thanks as she tells him in detail about her test, talking about how she figured out a question she got a little stuck on. He nods and listens, spotting the professor out of the corner of his eye. Professor Smith becomes frightened and he quickly looks away from Rafe. He smirks at the professor’s reaction, returning his full gaze to his girl.
#let me angel#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#outer banks#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron x y/n#outer banks fanfiction#outer banks imagine#rafe fic#rafe imagine#rafe x reader#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe x y/n#rafe x you#outer banks x you#outer banks x reader#rafe outer banks#outer banks rafe#outerbanks#obx fic#rafe cameron one shot#rafe obx#obx#obx imagine#obx fanfiction
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30|10|2024
Today was an organizing and planning day. I spent the entire day writing down lists of materials, downloading stuff and getting it on my tablet so I can read and annotated it more easily. Now I really have a good idea of how much I have to do to study for these exams. I also sent the last couple of emails to professors to make sure I have the right materials. I am still not sure whether I'll be able to take two or three exams, but it's okay, now I plan on doing as much as I can without burning myself out, and then when the exam dates are released I'll plan out how the exam season will be. The goal for November is to finish all the materials for my history of the Sabaudian states course, I'd like to do that in a week and a half at most, and then do as much as I can for another course called "spaces and places of knowledge: history, landscapes, contexts". For this last class I have about twelve recordings, and 8 articles. It's going to be intense but I think I can manage to get more than half of the material done before the end of next month. If the recorded lectures aren't too intense I could get them done in about a week, and then I feel like most articles will be quite easy to read and annotate. We'll see. I still haven't decided if I want to post an accountability list of everything I must do, but since they always work quite well I might post it one of these days.
productivity list:
read first thing in the morning
emailed a professor and made sure I can take the exam and that my materials are okay
organized the materials a uni friend kidly gave me (basically he printed out all the articles for an exam when he had to study for it, and then lent me all the photocopies)
wrote down detailed lists of all the materials I have to study for for three classes (I am prioritizing two at the moment but I also included an additional one in case I make progress quicker than planned)
planned the few things I want to get done before this week ends
downloaded all the online materials I could find and got them on my tablet
made a very handy and organized "study pile" to keep near my desk so I have all the physical materials near me (this includes, books, photocopies, and notebooks)
duolingo
#studyblr#studyinspo#uniblr#university#historyblr#bujo#bullet journal#student life#studying#productivity#journal#journaling#knife gang#mine#the---hermit
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There's just something about you – Professor!Austin Butler (smut)
Well well well, ofc I {as somebody who has a massive prof!crush} had to give in and write this. I think this has potential for a part 2, so please tell me how you feel about that. Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this, your comments keep us writers motivated! Enjoy my loves. xxx
Summary: The reader works as Professor Butler's teaching assistant. The two are about to take a trip with his class when she gets sick. While staying with him for the weekend the two finally give in to the pull keeping them chained together.
Warnings: 18+, smut, piv, oral (f), professor x TA relationship, quite fluffy
Pairing: prof!Austin Butler x fem!TA!reader (3k words)
picture credit to the original owner
“Alright, listen up!“ Professor Butler’s voice echoed through the room. His words were followed by instant silence, forcing all eyes towards the handsome professor. She stood close to him, not enough to feel his body heat clashing against her, though just enough to hyperfocus on the scent of his expensive cologne – a scent she’d always pick up on, no matter where she was at.
“As you all know, we’re leaving for our trip next week. (Y/n) was kind enough to take over the bookings, but we need you to find one or two people to share a room with. Please send (y/n) an email til Monday, so we can avoid any confusion when we check in. If you have any further questions about the trip or concerns, feel free to reach out to one of us.”
She had joined the faculty as Professor Butler’s PhD candidate and teaching assistant a while ago, slowly having to adjust to being around a man like him. At first, (y/n) had struggled to focus, fighting against the urge to stare at him at any given chance, but slowly she had gotten more and more relaxed around him, actually getting to enjoy her interactions with the young professor.
“Please don’t forget your homework, alright? I’ll see you all next week.” The room was filled with loud noises as he ended the class, forcing the students to their feet and out into the hallway. (Y/n) busied herself with his notes, rechecking them before she allowed her gaze to find his bright eyes. “You did good today, (y/n), if you feel comfortable enough you can gladly do next week’s class on your own.”
“I don’t think I feel ready to do this without you yet.” His big hand found her shoulder, leaving her torn between focusing on the feeling of his thumb softly stroking the fabric of her blouse, and the intense eye contact he now held with her. For a second, neither of them spoke, leaving (y/n) to wonder what he was thinking about.
“Alright, but you’re by far better than me at catching their attention, I hope one day you’ll realise that.” Professor Butler’s raspy chuckle had an addicting effect to it, leaving her to avert her gaze as he took a step away from her. “Chinese takeout while we grade the essays?”
……
She woke with a pained whine as her hand reached for her phone, trying to read the time. It was Saturday morning, two days before they’d go on their short trip, but her body was clearly fighting against all plans, making her suffer from a sore throat and a blocked nose. Curses wanted to claw through her, cursing fate for pushing her into her misery.
(Y/n) had been looking forward to the trip for a while, excited about spending some more time with Professor Butler outside of his office and the room he was teaching in. Secretly she had hoped for some more calmer moments where they could go back to sharing information about one another that had nothing to do with their research or their university work. Hopes that were now evaporating into nothing but cold air.
For a moment, (y/n) pondered over her choices, but her fingers had already started to move before her mind could protest, opening the email app. With a few quick words she sent her professor a small warning, telling him that she was sick and would most likely not be able to join on Monday. She felt pathetic for the wave of hurt and exhaustion flushing through her, leaving her trembling body to search the warmth of her bed.
It didn’t take long for her phone to go off, forcing her glassy eyes to read his reply. Simple words told her to give him a call with his added number to the email. Perhaps it was the fault of her cold, perhaps it was the fault of her hazy thoughts, whatever it was, it stopped (y/n) from overthinking, clicking on the number before her anxiety could get the best of her.
“Morning, (y/n).” His raspy voice shot shudders down her spine, momentarily letting her eyes flutter close. She repeated the greeting while internally cringing at the raspy sound of her voice. “Oh sweetheart, you sound horrible.”
Heat rose to her face at the pet name, having to forcefully stop herself from gasping. She could only let go of a hum, not trusting herself to speak coherent words he could easily pick up on.
“Are you still living alone?” A while ago (y/n) had told him about her struggles to find a roommate, unsure who to pick as she had high priorities she didn’t want to let go of. Once again she hummed, wondering where he was taking this conversation. “Alright, I want you to pack a bag. I’ll pick you up in a few, you’re spending the weekend with me, I can’t go on that trip without you. We’ll get you back to your healthy self in no time.”
“Professor,” she sat up as she tried to protest, having to drown out the sinful thoughts instantly flushing through her mind. “I don’t want to take up any of your space, and you could also get sick. I’ll be alright here, don’t worry.”
“No, you’re staying with me. I won’t accept any protests, (y/n). What’s your address?”
It hadn’t taken long for them to end the call, for her to take a quick shower and to pack a bag. Her heart kept racing in her chest, urging her to move, to be smart about the things she packed. She barely got any time to overthink as he had arrived at her place rather quickly, but now as she was sitting on his couch, wrapped in a blanket, (y/n)’s thoughts finally caught up with her.
Austin – as he had asked her to call him – was all too gentle with her, tending to her every need with worry tugging on his features. (Y/n) could only guess that she looked as horrible as she felt, tired eyes barely managing to stay open, and yet she didn’t want to miss a thing, cherishing the chance to be so close to him.
“How about we watch a movie before I make some soup, huh?” Austin plopped down next to her, tugging on her legs to place them in his lap. (Y/n) allowed herself to study him for a few seconds, his blonde hair had that slightly unruly touch to it, blue eyes focusing on his TV. He wore a simple white shirt that perfectly stuck to his muscles, paired with blue jeans that gave him a different touch to the version of him who always wore suits in class.
“Sure, I’m good with whatever.” He shot her a quick smile that left her trembling, having to calm her racing heart with her grasp on the blanket growing stronger. She barely managed to pay the opening sequence of the movie any attention, getting lost in her thoughts as his thumb stroked the soft skin of her ankle, holding onto her as if he was scared she could slip right through his fingers.
For the first time in years, she felt an unfamiliar kind of safety wrapping itself around her, clinging to her like a second skin made to protect her, to cherish her, to perhaps even love her.
……
Quiet steps carried her towards the big kitchen, engulfed in darkness as (y/n) started the kettle, hoping that another cup of tea could finally lull her to sleep. She was too deep in thought to notice his approaching figure, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed in front of his naked chest.
“You alright, sweetheart?” (Y/n) jumped at the sound of his raspy voice, pressing her hand to her chest as she turned towards him. A laugh clawed through Austin, guiding him closer to her with slow steps. “Sorry, I didn’t want to scare you.”
(Y/n) had to turn from him, trying to focus on the almost boiling water as he came to a halt behind her, reaching for another cup. His naked upper body was pressed against her back, one of his arms found its way around her waist to keep her close to him. Goosebumps covered her limbs, silently whispering to her, guiding her hand to find his.
No words were spoken between the two as she poured the hot water into the big cups while Austin reached for the teabags. He loosened his hold on her as if he was begging her to turn around, to get lost in the bright eyes that reminded her of warm summer mornings spent at the beach, getting lost in daydreams that felt more real than memories of things she had lived through. Her body urged her to move, to lean against the counter with her eyes finding his features, wandering over his handsome face.
“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours, (y/n)?” She didn’t trust her voice, knowing that she’d most likely make a fool of herself, but the two hands finding her waist, keeping her caged between his tall frame and the counter, encouraged her to part her lips. (Y/n)’s eyes focused on his neck, on the golden necklace he wore, dangling from his neck like a pendulum about to give her a glimpse into her future.
“I,” a shaky exhale left (y/n), trusting her mind and heart to guide her. “I keep thinking about how comfortable I feel here. Thank you for letting me stay with you, Austin.”
She expected him to shoot her his signature smile, to pull away from her to reach for his cup. But he kept close to her, hand slowly moving up to her face, cupping her cold cheek. He forced her to look up at him, making her breath hitch in her chest as she watched his gaze flicker between her eyes and her lips.
“I tried to stay away from you, but you’re not making it easy for me, sweetheart.” (Y/n) got no chance to reply, silenced by the feeling of his lips finding hers. Ever since she had joined his team, (y/n) had imagined this very moment, wondering how his lips would feel pressed against hers, how he’d hold onto her as they got lost in their kiss. But this was so very different to all these daydreams, more intense, more exciting even. With his hands finding the back of her thighs, he helped her onto the counter, allowing himself to stand between her thighs as they kept kissing.
“Now you’re definitely getting sick for sure,” (y/n) mumbled the words against his lips as they parted to catch their breaths. Austin’s raspy laugh echoed through the kitchen, bright eyes burning her skin as if she was caught in a wildfire, about to burn to the ground.
“For you I’ll gladly take on the struggles of being sick.” His words left her heart roaring, lips finding his once again. Their tongues met in a teeth clashing kiss, wordlessly managing to communicate their longing, the desperate need they had fought against these past months. “I need you to be honest with me, do you want this? I don’t want to pressure you, sweetheart.”
“Take me to bed, professor.” (Y/n)’s smirk grew wider as his pupils dilated, picking her up without another warning. She had her legs wrapped around him, face buried in the crook of his neck. Within seconds they found themselves in Austin’s bedroom, he didn’t give her much time to take in the big room, the pictures gracing the walls, fully focused on him as he pressed her down on the mattress.
Austin kissed his way down her throat as if he was following the trail of a treasure hunt, high on the adrenaline of the search. (Y/n) trembled beneath him while her fingers tugged on the hairs at the nape of his neck before moving down to his muscular shoulders. Somehow it felt as if they had done this numerous times before, knowing exactly how and where to touch one another.
He parted from her to pull her shirt over her head, focus instantly drawn to her naked chest. The way Austin was staring at her made (y/n) feel as if he was marvelling at a masterpiece, a creation of old times the human mind barely managed to understand. Carefully he cupped her breasts, groaning at the feeling of her soft skin pressing against his. They held eye contact as he brought his lips back to her skin, sucking on both nipples before kissing his way down her stomach.
“Austin,” (y/n) choked on his name, begging him to keep on moving, to touch her where she needed him the most.
“Talk to me, sweetheart, what do you want?” His voice grew lower with every spoken syllable, pushing heat down to her core. She felt her walls clench around nothing, begging him to finally fuck her.
“You, all of you. Please, I need you so badly.” Without speaking another word, he ripped her panties from her hips, letting his fingers explore her arousal-covered folds. His name rolled off her tongue, she arched her back at the careful touches, trying to shuffle even closer. Austin could do whatever he wanted to her at that very moment, she was putty in his hands, his to toy with, his to use for his own pleasure. Whatever he wanted, she’d do it, if he kept on touching her like this.
“Will you let me taste you? I’ve been wanting to do this for a while.” (Y/n) could only nod her head, letting go of a breathless gasp the second his rough tongue brushed through her folds. Austin moaned at her taste, he wrapped one arm around her thigh, keeping her pressed to him while the other hand found her clit, rubbing the bundle of nerves with his fingers. Within the first seconds of him touching her, (y/n) had known that she wouldn’t be able to hold on for long, overstimulated by his touches.
No longer could she spare her hurting throat any attention, no longer did she struggle to breathe on, all she could do was focus on him, on the way he dipped his tongue into her tightness, how he added more speed to his movements, pushing her closer and closer to the edge.
“You taste so sweet, I could stay like that forever, if you’ll let me.” She moaned at his praise, fingernails scratching at his skin to try and hold on. Her legs were trembling from the strength she used to curl her toes, unsure how much longer she could stop herself from giving in to an intense orgasm.
“It’s alright, cum for me, show me how pretty you look when you cum for me.” Austin’s words pushed her into the open arms of her orgasm, calling out his name as he kept circling her clit with a smirk glued to his lips. He watched her every move, every micro-expression he could pick up on, fully mesmerised by the beautiful woman he had wanted to pull closer for months.
“Oh god,” (y/n) panted the words, drawing gleeful chuckles from Austin as he let go of her. Her glassy eyes watched him undress, gaze wandering down his muscular upper body, past his six-pack to his sweatpants. His cock sprang free as he stepped out of his clothes, a sight that pushed heat straight down to her cunt, needing to feel him buried inside of her. “I need you to fuck me now, I can’t wait any longer, Austin.”
“Mhm, such a desperate girl, we should teach you some patience one day.” He reached for a condom, rolled it down his cock and positioned himself between her thighs. With her hand finding the back of his neck, (y/n) pulled him back down for a kiss, distracting herself from the slight pain as he pushed into her, having to adjust to his size. For a second, they held still, clinging to one another to let go of a few deep exhales, fingers interlaced to try and keep themselves grounded.
“Move, please, professor.” Austin let go of a growl at the use of the title, building a comfortable rhythm that allowed one another to get used to the sensation. He was careful with her, not daring to hurt her when she was still sick, not fully able to guide her body. But the blissful expression tugging on her features was enough to calm his racing heart, finding enjoyment in the way she clung to him, how she seemingly felt the same pull he did.
They were a mess of tangled limbs, of moans blurring together, of hearts beating in sync, a match so perfect neither of them wanted to break out of their very own bubble. Their bodies met with every thrust, bringing them closer and closer together, while their eyes found back together.
“My pretty girl, I don’t want to let you go again.” He murmured the words against her lips, luring a soft chuckle out of (y/n).
“Don’t let me go, don’t you dare.” Her head rolled back as his cock nudged her swollen spot, leaving him grinning in success. Austin kept staring down at her, trying to burn every passing second into his mind, praying that he won’t ever forget about this night.
“Touch yourself, make yourself cum on my cock, sweetheart.” With a gasp leaving her, her fingers found her pulsing clit, moving quickly to give her the needed push. He fucked her through her second orgasm, letting go himself as she relaxed beneath him.
Austin clung to her as they both tried to catch their breaths, only parting as they managed to break through the hazy fog wrapping itself around the two lovers. He threw away the condom before he returned to her, cupping her now warm cheek to pull her in for another kiss.
“How about a bath?” She could only nod as he picked her up and carried her into his bathroom, while making the silent promise to cherish her for as long as she’ll let him.
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