#but I never talked to them because we never actually met!!

[the-celestial-doll]

Some know the experiance of finding people at just the right time & knowing them brings so much joy and fulfillment. & sometimes those bonds break / & you have nothing to do with the breaking..

You are both alone with memories that used to mean the world -you showcased them proudly too, the world saw, even in the moment we always felt like our lives intertwining constantly felt like a tv show. Our own modern version of our favorite sitcoms bundled together but actually truly real. Happening live before our very eyes ✨-

I think that’s why my brain still thinks of you as an ally.. I never even got to say goodbye before I knew we were already strangers.

It’s in the eyes, stance, posture, your aura even.. like who I knew completely vanished. A facade! ha!

- but the pictures, videos, memories of the three of us, our vows together as a found family.. I felt selfish for taking time away, but it wasn��t very long & because of that I’ll blame myself forever! For where our lives could have been! If only my life didn’t have so much torment at home.. and to top it off I lost it all.

Not only did you dissappear but you two divided because I couldn’t mediate.. you broke off your friendship with him bc he was toxic to you.. you said you’d stay my friend and you loved me like your sister & confidant - then.. i was a ghost. It was like the current pulled me under, & when I came up for air -you were gone.

You & him talk now. It's odd how things happen, you even attended his wedding.. & i was a bridesmaid. We shared an elevator ride and i was so nervous- you didn't even acknowledge i existed.. then when brought to your attention later you looked heartbroken & like you wanted to talk to me? It's so odd when you try to hold a conversation as if nothing has happened.. but they don't say anything to you about what they did to you..

I even tried. Met you for coffee when you asked.. it was a mirror image of last time i saw you.. words of wanting to be around and catch up and know me again..

I had a feeling you needed me then. I missed being useful to you..but you just missed being able to use me as your therapist.

I know. it's hard to open up, & some connections you can feel in your soul.. I already knew his depths, fought his demons & cleansed his ghosts.. I could read his tells- I knew I was being used- I know you knew, I'd never hurt you. Even if I wanted to.

I just wanted to see my old friend again.. even if I knew it was all a lie.

sometimes i hate knowing all the looks in your eyes

— Trista Mateer, from “i still forget we’re not even friends”

[differentalpacafestival]

You know, something I just realized is actually kinda funny.

The sole reason I even know what transgenderism is, is simply because I started seeing transphobia.

"This is so wrong, this is disgusting" etc made me wonder why they thought it was so wrong, so I pursued knowledge.

RuPaul's Drag Race was one of the first queer and LGBTQIA+ friendly media I ever consumed. I was not, and still am not the biggest fan of the drama because I just simply don't like drama, but I saw so many contestants coming out during that show. Grown "men" crying as they admit to feeling ostracized from their childhood communities, their family and friends, saying they've come to realize they're not actually a man, but a woman. I watched a handful of them becoming so vulnerable and stripping (emotionally) completely in front of someone they adored, but also a huge camera crew, and thus essentially the entire world. I thought "How is this wrong? What's so disgusting about this?"

I was 10 when I sat in the school bus after school and talked with some younger kids I was friends with about transgenderism. I don't remember the conversation, obviously, this is like 13 years ago, but I remember telling them it was actually possible for a boy to get a surgery to remove his penis. I remember feeling proud to be the one telling them this, but also appalled that their natural reactions were so strong, because mine never was, and both my parents and my older brother were vehemently against self expression like that.

When I was like 13, I identified as bisexual. I became obsessed with the flag's colours and tried to coordinate my outfits to have a similar vibe.

When I was 14, someone in my class told us after a visiting performance group that the lead singer *wanted* to be confusing, gender-wise. Someone had tried to make fun of the lead singer after their performance, and were quickly shut down when no one followed. My friend explained what being non-binary meant, and I felt so outed, but in a good way. My friend said the singer's long, messy hair was purposeful, that their big clothes were purposeful, and that they never introduced themselves by anything other than name, nor talked about it because they didn't need to; their self expression said everything for them. I remember going to the bathroom that same day and looking at my own long [straightened] hair and baggy clothes and wondered for the first time if I was on the same wavelength, just not the same wave.

When I was 16 I met my first ever trans friend. I quickly developed a crush on him, which, in hindsight wasn't actually a crush, but admiration, and I wanted to protect him at all costs. Whenever our elder teacher misgendered him or used his dead name, I, fairly aggressively, corrected her in front of the entire class to the point that I was yelled at for interrupting and that "she" [referring to my GUY friend] knows it's not on purpose. He never told me to stop, so I never did. We also didn't have that teacher for many classes, and I noticed she started to avoid using pronouns or even his name because I didn't back down.

That same year I found out that a friend I had, but had lost contact with, had also come out. She had socially changed her name when she started a new school, and her appearance had drastically changed from when we went to the same school just a year or so prior. I messaged her, asking if it was true and told her I was proud of her for being herself and that I was happy she had found who she truly was. The next time we met, I slipped with her pronouns, but that was also the only time I ever did. I apologized and we continued our lives as friends again. The next year, after I, too, had started my own self discovery journey, she dead named me, and I dropped her instantly. As a trans person, how do you have the guts to insult someone the same way you have been, even if they're not actively trans? (at the time, I only thought I was gay) Another in the same friend group followed suit after berating her, and after nearly 20 years of acquaintance, she dropped her as well. Apparently, they were never actually friends, they just happened to be the only two who were left out and decided to stick together. Had me and my two childhood friends from a different school not entered the picture, they wouldn't have maintained contact after their last year at the same school. I've also minimized contact with her since, after finding out she blames the entire trans community for everything that's wrong in the world after I came out as enby to her. She has always been protective of me, and has, on numerous occasions said she admires me, but when I learned that she wasn't just not a big fan of the, prior, only trans person in our group, but actually had fundamental issues with her as a trans person, my view of her changed. We had a short discussion about being trans and what it meant, and she argued with the same point you usually hear, like "You can never change your biological sex" and how we're just mentally unstable [which really felt like a personal attack because she knows I am].

About a year after I came out to my friends as enby, I came out to my mom after we had been drinking. I remember my thoughts being so loud when she started her usual transphobic tirade, and just as I was about to tell her, my nose started bleeding. I cleaned myself up and started by saying I knew why that happened, and came out to her on the spot. She stammered when she realized every bad thing and every criticism she has ever slung at the trans community, were also indirectly thrown at me. We've tried talking about it since, but she stands firm on non-binary not being real and how it doesn't matter if one is trans during life because "iN onE ThOusAnD yEaRs-"

My point is that in my peers' attempt at keeping everything strictly conservative, they helped me figure out that I'm a liberal.

My transphobic family's comments made me pursue my own conclusions because they were too emotional about it and never talked about trans people as other civils.

And I find that kinda funny.

[lucysarah-c]

Hi there! How are you?

A question about MS popped up in my mind. If Levi brought her her cat... Does that mean he met her parents/brother/anyone? Did they get acquainted, did they talk? 🫢

Hi, pookie! I'm doing good, thanks for asking 😊 How are you?

ACTUALLY, yes! I wrote the scene but I didn't add it to the final cut! I thought it was overdragging the topic so I decited to cut it out. Ch.6 parts that didn't make it to the final cut:

“So, what’s the plan?” Hange asked as they walked down the street. With each step they took, the houses grew larger, the gates taller, the fences grander—everything seemed to increase in size and value the deeper they went. “You sneak through a window now that the sun’s setting and kidnap the cat?”

Levi didn’t break stride as the street sloped downward, though he shot Hange a frown. “We’re not kidnapping anything. I sent a cadet earlier to inform them I’d be picking up the animal.”

A loud hum of understanding filled the night as they continued walking, hands tucked into their pockets. But Hange still didn’t seem convinced.

“You sure about this?”

“About what?”

Hange gave a quick glance around before answering. “These neighborhoods are private.”

“And?”

“Let’s just say the people who live in places like this and… us? We’ve never exactly been longtime acquaintances.” Hange’s tone carried the weight of an unspoken warning, as if preparing for the worst.

But Levi couldn’t care less. Maybe it was the inner thug in him, the part that never gave a damn about the rich, the nobility, the king—or authority in general. This place reeked of something foreign, something he didn’t belong to. But like a lion crossing an open field, he walked through it like it was his to take. The Scouts held power now, but that wasn’t why he moved with such unwavering confidence. Levi was Levi, and even before the Scouts had led an uprising, he had been humanity’s strongest. Strength gives you a certainty in your actions that nothing else can. Especially when they reached the front door.

Hange, either fearing the worst or just aware of Levi’s absolute lack of social grace, wisely kept quiet.

The staff member who answered the gates frowned—not just in confusion, but perhaps in disgust. His gaze landed on the Wings of Freedom insignia on their uniforms alarmingly fast.

“Sir.”

“I came for the cat,” Levi said, blunt as ever.

The man’s expression barely shifted. “I thought we informed the cadet that if you came, you should use the back entrance.”

Levi’s eyes narrowed. He had no problem using the service entrance. But they’d received a mere MP cadet—barely fifteen years old—at their pristine front gates, and now he was supposed to go around the back like some beggar? Not a fucking chance.

“Are you going to let me in or not?”

The man—a butler? Or something like that. I don’t fucking know, Levi thought—stepped aside reluctantly, extending a stiff hand toward the entrance.

Once inside, Hange took a moment to admire the downtown manor, pressing their lips together, nodding slowly in appreciation of the place’s elegance. Levi, however, wasn’t impressed. He was already pissed off—because of Zackly, because of the MPs, because of the damn door. His hands remained in his pockets, deep-set eyes locked onto the stairs with not even a hint of friendliness.

“The cat?” His voice cut through the tension, sharp and impatient. If he’d given them advance notice, then they should have been ready by now.

The butler barely reacted. “Please, wait here. The family is busy.”

Levi let the silence stretch, his patience thinner than ever. “I sent someone over four hours ago.”

Hange, sensing the storm brewing in him, reached out, placing a cautious hand on his shoulder. Their expression twisted into an uneasy grimace, a silent plea.

‘Let’s not make this harder.’

Levi had barely registered Hange’s silent plea when the muffled sound of hurried footsteps echoed down the grand hall. A moment later, a flustered servant appeared, carrying a wooden box with small air holes carved into its sides. The box wobbled precariously in his grip—not because it was heavy, but because a tiny pair of hands were clawing at it with desperate strength.

“Clauwy! Nooo!! Clauwy!!!”

The voice was shrill and thick with tears, and it belonged to a small, wild-haired girl stumbling after the servant in a fit of heartbreak. Her face was blotchy from crying, her little legs moving as fast as they could, though they barely kept up. She yanked at the box, nearly knocking it from the man’s grasp, her tiny fingers clinging like her life depended on it.

“Miss, please—” The servant tried to wrestle the box from her grip, his expression strained. It was clear he was struggling, not because she was particularly strong, but because she was the boss’s daughter—and he couldn't exactly shove her off.

Levi watched the scene unfold, eyebrows knitting together as the girl let out another wail, “Clauwy!!!”

‘Clauwy?’ He blinked.

Hange was biting their lip, either to keep from laughing or from making things worse. The servant finally managed to pry the girl’s fingers off, stumbling forward as he hastily presented Levi with the box. “Here, sir. The animal is inside. Everything needed and requested is included.”

Levi barely had time to grip the box before the little girl let out another sob and jumped, arms stretching toward it in a frantic attempt to snatch it back. Her high pitched scream made Hange go from entertainment to grimace in pain as the loud cry hurted the adult’s ears. LEvi clenched his teeth bearing himself to it but Hange whispered “Dear Sheena…” as if this was everything the commander needed to recall why they never had kids.

“Nooo, Clauwy!!” she howled, tiny hands grasping at the air. “Y/N is gonna never come back if Clauwy isn’t here!!”

At that, Levi stiffened. His sharp gaze flicked down to the girl, eyes narrowing slightly.

‘Y/N’s little sister.’

That was the only explanation.

The messy hair, the same teary eyes, the way her tiny fists balled up in frustration—it wasn’t hard to see the resemblance.

Levi exhaled quietly, shifting his stance. His grip on the box relaxed just a fraction as he crouched down, leveling himself with the child. She sniffled loudly, cheeks stained with tears, little lips quivering. The tears were not watery work as some kids did to get what they wanted, she was loudly and messily crying her eyes off.

For a moment, he wasn’t sure what the hell he was supposed to say.

But then, in a rare, softened tone, he spoke.

“Hey.”

The girl hiccupped, still glaring up at him with wet, accusing eyes.

Levi tilted his head slightly, nodding toward the box. “I’m taking him to Y/N. You don’t have to cry.”

The little girl’s breath hitched. Her brows knitted together, unsure whether to believe him. “Pwomise?”

Levi nodded once. “Promise.”

She sniffled again, rubbing at her puffy eyes with tiny fists. The violent wailing had subsided into shaky breaths, though doubt still lingered in her expression. "You… with Y/N?" she murmured, her voice small and filled with innocent curiosity.

Levi gave a short nod. "Yeah. She's with me."

Before he had time to react, the girl threw her arms around his jacket, clinging to him like a koala.

"I wanna be with Y/N!" she insisted, her tiny fists gripping the fabric tightly. She was so small that she barely weighed anything, but she nearly knocked him off balance in her desperation.

Levi instinctively steadied her with his free hand, his body tensing. "No, no. You’ve got your parents." He tried to pry her off, one hand awkwardly holding her in place to keep her from slipping. His voice carried an edge of unease—like this wasn’t the first time a child had latched onto him, looking for something he wasn’t sure how to give.

It all made sense when a commanding voice cut through the hallway.

"MAEVE!"

Levi turned his head, eyes narrowing at the elegantly dressed woman approaching from the corridor. She carried herself with an air of superiority, her gaze sharp, cold, and—more than anything—filled with contempt. A contempt Levi could barely understand but somehow reciprocated on instinct.

"Come here, this instant."

Maeve, still clinging to Levi as if he were her last lifeline, buried her tear-streaked face against his chest in fear.

Levi wasn't holding her back, but he wasn’t pushing her away either. A part of him reasoned it wasn’t his place to interfere with another’s parenting. Another part—something older, instinctual—bristled at the fear in the little girl’s eyes.

"Mae," the woman’s voice dropped lower, dangerously even, though the authority in it never wavered. "Do not make me come over there."

Levi remained in his crouch, though he wished he weren’t. Not because she intimidated him and neither was it that his height was towering—far from it—but because he wasn’t about to be ordered around like a misbehaving child.

She turned her glare on him. "You got what you came for. Don’t touch my daughter, and get out."

His voice was calm, but firm. “I’m married to your daughter.”

He let the words sink in. He knew the comment was about Maeve, but he wanted to remind her why he was here. “And you’re living in this house thanks to that. So next time, have the decency to receive me at the front door. And maybe bring a tea set."

The silence that followed felt like a battlefield.

The woman clenched her jaw, her pride clearly wounded. Levi, on the other hand, was holding back the urge to tell her a few things that would make the situation irreparable.

Eventually, the little girl loosened her grip just slightly, uncertainty still clouding her face, but her wobbly legs found the floor again. She pouted up at Levi. "Y/N...?"

Levi blinked. The words were mumbled and choked between sobs, but he caught enough of them to piece together what she meant.

“You draw too? Like your sister?” he asked.

The little girl nodded hesitantly.

He exhaled and adjusted the box under his arm. "Why don’t you give your drawings to your grandmother? She has my address. I bet Y/N will love them."

The idea seemed to ease something in her little mind. Her expression brightened just slightly—a wobbly, tear-stained smile forming.

"Okay..."

Then, as if remembering something urgent, she gasped and reached for the box. Levi lowered it just enough for her to hold it against her tiny chest, where she planted an exaggerated kiss on the top.

“Bye-bye, Clauwy,” she sniffled, waving at the wooden crate as if the cat inside could see her.

She then stepped back, allowing a nearby servant—who was no doubt assigned to escort her away without much fuss—to gently guide her down the hall.

With only adults left in the room, the woman stepped closer, lowering her voice to a venomous whisper. "Do not drag my daughters into this."

Levi barely batted an eye as he stood, shifting the box under his arm. He spat back, just as low, "Then don’t bring your daughter into this."

—

By the time they were making their way down the cobblestone streets, Hange finally broke the silence with a drawl of pure sarcasm. "Your in-laws adore you."

Levi scoffed, adjusting his grip on the box. "They fucking should. They’re out of jail thanks to me."

Hange hummed, amused. "Ahh, the foundation of every strong family bond."

They walked in silence for a few moments before Hange, who had been keeping an eye on the cargo, squinted. "Uh… Levi?"

"What?" Levi barely glanced at them.

"The box is leaking something."

Levi stopped dead in his tracks. "What."

His head snapped down, and sure enough, a suspiciously watery liquid was seeping through the bottom of the wooden crate. With a sharp sigh, he lifted it slightly, peering through the holes.

Inside, a pair of terrified cat eyes stared back at him—so wide, so frozen in fear, that it was almost comical.

Levi’s nose wrinkled. "Oh, for fuck’s sake."

Hange took a cautious step back. "Is that—?"

"The damn thing pissed itself." Levi scowled, glaring at the cat. "Tch. It’s gonna be fine, you idiot. Don’t shit yourself too."

Hange let out an obnoxious cackle. "That’s it! Use your daddy skills on the cat!"

Levi shot them a deadly glare. "Who do you think I am? Erwin?"

That only made Hange laugh harder.

[alpacaradio]

There really is no excuse. Taken with much generosity, its constant discussion of transmisandry is coming from a place of hurt - but as soon as it's talking about trans women, you can immediately tell that OP has never really understood one.

I've never met a trans woman who hasn't grappled deeply with the expectations of masculinity on her and indeed often that very thing led her to identify her own womanhood. I found my own way to recognizing who I am through grappling with the expectations on me and how uncomfortable I was with them!

It was a role that I always implicitly rejected and was uncomfortable with. This story is so common I think it more likely than not you've heard it if you know even a single trans woman. To know many and not be deeply familiar with it seems ... almost impossible. I can only conclude that the OP hasn't really listened.

And in all of this, "if transmascs need to sit for hours and unlearn transmisogyny, fine. but" but nothing at all, because you clearly haven't done the work to put anything after that sentence making demands of a community. You're talking about us like you've done the work to really know and understand trans women, and you've even appealed to multiple evil tranny behaviors, behaviors I've literally never seen from any trans woman, to the point where I think the problem is mostly you.

It is so easy to see that so much of what is in genderqueerdyke's response is specific issues with specific trans women being projected onto an entire community, including so many things which are obviously a consequence of simply not listening to or refusing to believe us.

Yes! I know sex workers, too! Yes, our bodies are constantly fetishized for our maleness even though we are not male. And yes, there are clients who seek out trans women specifically seeing us as men. We're surrounded by chasers. What I find surprising is not that a sex worker you knew had clients who told her they were attracted to her for her maleness, but that you refused to believe her, because I'd say it's more likely than not that any trans woman who's ever done sex work has been told that very thing. But you refuse to believe the things women have told you, and so you put doubt on that part of our experience too. You had to make our lived experience sound impossible, so that describing our experiences sounds like bigotry rather than fact.

I'm so annoyed I popped into second person, but I do not really want to talk to it at all. I don't want it to talk to me or anyone else; I want it to stop talking about trans women entirely until it can fucking believe even one of us and not talk over us and decide our experiences for us.

Any time someone says, "I need to unlearn X? Fine, but" your hackles should be raised. This is someone that really should not be trying to speak about the community of trans women.

I guess this is something the community has generally known about Equinox, but damn, this isn't a mistake or something you can just apologize for; this is evidence of an entire way of thinking that underlies every rant I've ever seen about transmisandry. How am I supposed to believe any differently when I've only ever seen it post through all of this and never really actually grapple with it? How are we supposed to get "solidarity" when solidarity means putting up with the abuse of being bombarded with this belief system the moment we let our guard down? the moment we're comfortable with ourselves? @genderqueerdykes is not someone who can truly be in community with me, and I think not someone to feel comfortable around as a trans woman. If I were its friend I would hold my cards damn close to my chest.

Pretend you didn't see that.

This is a level of transmisogyny that is somewhat hard to comment on because the things that one would normally point out as transmisogynistic implications are said so brazenly that there can be no pretense about any of the involved parties being unaware of it. The authors know, the readers know, everybody understands that this is pure transmisogyny. There is no plausible deniability.

It's an attempt to establish proximity between transfems and cis manhood in every way possible. Their bodies, their histories, their "socialization", the way they are treated by others, the way they treat and view others, their ways of thinking, even their self-conception. Every aspect of their being is cast as essentially male. Transfems are being called "men" in all but name - and not just any "men", they are made into embodiments of the worst aspects of hegemonic manhood. Not just male socialized but continuing to benefit from male socialization. Not just engaging in abusive behaviors stemming from male socialization but being afforded the freedom to do so because they continue to be treated as men. (Suffice it to say that this does not align with reality)

This is unadulterated sex-essentialism and it's intentionally being used to delegitimize and devalue the standpoint of transfems in feminist discourses. It's clear that the author is projecting transmisogynist ideas onto transfems and simply assumes that these ideas must be correct without considering any alternative. (The fact that transfems do not internalize "male socialization" has been reiterated many times over and should not have to be continually reasserted. This is a baseline level of understanding that we should be able to expect and demand from members of our community.)

Misogyny is framed as being contained within the realms of sexed bodies and gendered socialization in such a way that it allows for the casting of transfems as people enacting misogyny without being primary targets themselves - like cis men.

The claim that the animosity some transfems exhibit towards men comes from wanting to "prove" their womanhood serves the double purpose of casting their womanhood as inauthentic and denying the misogyny they suffer at the hands of men. One would be hard pressed to find a more cruel mischaracterization of transfems' experiences than this.

The cynical misappropriation of the standpoint of the people this screed is directed at by the use of "we" despite making it abundantly clear that the behavior that is being criticized and its supposed causes exempt people such as the author from the possibility of engaging in it should also be noted as an attempt at weaponizing a compromised version of standpoint epistemology against transfems.

The only plausible target audience for this kind of rhetoric are those who carry extreme ressentiment towards transfems and are susceptible to softened formulations of TERF ideology. These are the same kinds of ideas that TERFs have tried to push into trans spaces numerous times, e.g. under names like "sex-conscious feminsim".

A formulaic "retreat" from this post consisting entirely of platitudes has been published after the author received backlash for it but nobody is under any obligation to accept it and they absolutely should not. A person who was very obviously attempting to promote TERF ideology in trans spaces and in the same stroke accused transfems of being uniquely prone to making false accusations is not trustworthy, even if that person backs down upon realizing that the reception is more uniformly negative than anticipated.

@genderqueerdykes @gateway-2000 is a transmisogynist, beyond a shadow of a doubt. Its entire worldview is permeated by transmisogynistic assumptions, ideas and biases at a fundamental level. It has straightforwardly expressed an understanding of transfems' interiorities, their experiences and their social positions that is so incorrect that one has to wonder how someone holding these views could have navigated trans communities for a considerable amount of time without encountering the many transfeminist rebuttals to all of its demagoguery. How could someone with even a passing level of familiarity with TERF ideology or "gender critical feminism" read and espouse these ideas without recognizing them? It's completely unthinkable. It's not unreasonable to assume that it simply misjudged the consensus within its audience as being sufficiently anti-transfeminist for ideas such as these to fall upon fertile ground and it is now going back to waiting until the time is ripe to reintroduce them and to expressing them in more subtle ways until then.

But you can't un-ring a bell.

We can and should assert boundaries against reactionaries engaging in obvious subversion such as this. Refusing to do so is a deleterious error in judgement. This is very far beyond the limits of what any trans community that wants to consider transfems a part of itself can be allowed to tolerate.

[lightgaswaterelectricityrent]

one time I took in this stray dog and it only had a rabies tag from the pound so I had to wait for them to call me back and tell me what they knew about the dog and it had to go spend the night with my parents and then when I found the owners they were like one block and six houses down from me but they said they had covid so we couldn't really meet up and they took the dog back through the crack in the door without showing their faces like cartoon vampires and then it got out like three more times and kept getting posted on facebook and I basically became in charge of organizing its return every single time because it still didn't have a real tag

[egophiliac]

don't think I'm not still obsessing over 7-12

[wizardlyghost]

thing about deltora quest that only occurred to me in hindsight is not only just how much jasmine carries the entire party on this quest but also how genre-defyingly brutal she is lol. like, this is a kid's series that hinges on riddles and puzzles far more heavily than combat - even when deaths occur, they're often the result of cleverness in some way rather than straight up combat ability. that said, let's look at the villain kill count at the end of book five of eight of the first series:

- lief: 1 - even there it's with a well-thrown bottle of cursed water rather than his sword.

- barda: 0 - i'm not counting that one unnamed sand beast, that's an animal not a villain.

- filli: 0 - he is a squirrel, this is unsurprising.

- kree: 1 - killed an invincible sorceress all by himself, good bird best friend.

- jasmine: 5 - dropped a tree branch on a mf, drowned two cannibals in quicksand, cut a giant snake's throat, shoved a dude down a pipe full of toxic mold (after having to be told not to cut his throat while he slept jfc).

idk it just suddenly struck me as really funny how this one character who isn't the protagonist is almost from a different, far more brutal story, and uses that fact to consistently be the mvp and save everyone else's asses. i need to read this series again it's been too long.

[officeobject]

(Half-related vent to Tumblr, no need to read, not recommended to read, nothing personal, etc):

Why am I still being recommended an account of a person I'm never gonna meet anyway, when I thought my interests (aka myself), and my fears (aka teens), were made very clear, as well as what triggers my addiction. It's great that this person is having birthday, but I wouldn't know that, if Tumblr would stop recommending them. I'm not gonna block them, as that's extreme, and I have no reason to, and they're welcome to talk to me, I just expected this to go away on its own. I know how this person is, coming back isn't a welcome - it's like coming back to school, aka an arena full of teenagers - as they have, like, a BILLION notes every time, especially compared to me, and, what, I'm supposed to praise them as well?! What am I supposed to do?! You want me to see their posts?! FINE, I'll SEE their posts, but don't come YELLIN' at ME when I vent in them or whatever! I have a hard time enough ignoring things as it is, and then there's half this person's posts, which are presumably about some other hormone-having thing - and as blockable as I am, I don't wanna be RUDE or anything (even though romance and other stuff should be tagged and I don't tag all my posts almost every single time, just to end up reading stuff that makes me side-glance my damn addiction), and like, good for them ... what now though? And WHAT ABOUT ME? Isn't my ACCOUNT, about me? Like, PLEASE, can we focus on the one I have regular contact to (aka ME), who DOESN'T have a thousand MILLION notes at my feet at each vent or each unfunny post, and who I NEED, to focus on, because "just don't think about things that trigger your addiction", and, "think about things that make you happy, not scary teens!" - and like, I didn't WANT, to be back - TO A PERSON WHO REMINDS ME OF PEOPLE I WISH I NEVER MET BY THE WAY - but anyways, in order for this to not just be a roasting session (that's later today, with marshmallows, and not with the flesh of some hormone-container), I do wanna add some compliments, because I don't hate this person, but I do fucking hate my fucking life, right now: they seem nice, nice positivity or whatever when they're being happy and positive for no reason, nice cohesive memorable Picrew, grammar not bad except for lack of capitalization, points for honesty, paragraphs are nicely spaced out (not relatable LOL - shit I didn't even space THIS one out) - pretty Picrew person, and that's all I guess. I don't wanna come off as rude (after I just came off as very rude), and yes they don't need to know that, but like ... actually, it's not like my choices in life always make sense, or are always nice or anything - I don't know why I just don't or what is wrong with me or why I just DO, but it's in my personality, and I have a weird tendency to follow that, which contrasts with what my addiction even is.

i dont know why im doing this, but

hi, my name is rin.

you might know me already, seen me in passing, hate me or know nothing about me.

you may also know me as batman, or ria, or ren or even sometimes raf.

i like a lot of stuff, like music and poetry and writing.

I love my partner. a lot

i do some sports, like archery and rock climbing, but thats not really my thing. i also write songs, play flute and ukulele.

i like math, and design, i enjoy reading and writing essays, i got gifted kid burnout but i love doing stuff too much to stop.

sometimes, i feel rather old. but im just a kid in this fucked up world and sometimes that makes me sad.

im depressed, and have anxiety, and a slew of mental health issues. i'm also probably neurodivergent.

im not very normal, in a lot of regards, but i think that adds to my character.

im trans, specifically genderfluid, but im getting to a stage where im starting to not give a shit.

im aroace, aroflux technically. but as far as im concerned i like my partner and i dont really know what else.

i do a lot of stuff, i consume a lot of media, you will never catch me lacking cus im really chronically online and just a little bit insane.

my birthday is soon, which i suppose is why im writing this, but i thought i should reintroduce myself to me. as i age i've managed to be the same person, in a lot of different ways. i dont always recognize the person in the mirror, but i think thats ok.

i hope its ok.

and ive come to realize maybe i dont need to be fixed. im definitely not normal but i've never wanted to be either.

id like to be someone who does cool shit, and someone who makes and advocates and does what i love. but normality is simply not for me and i really rather be a crazy bitch in the middle of the woods than a normal bitch in the suburbs.

so yeah, i'm rin, welcome or welcome back to my shitshow of a brain.

[trekkele]

anyways if your reaction to a woman speaking about harassment or assault is “well i don’t like her very much so she’s probably lying” i think you should be banned from sharing your opinion about it forever

[girlivealwaysbean]

pata hai last kuch din i was very busy with my project kyunki final dena tha and binding karni thi etc to wo karwayi then i went to the bookfair bekaar tha then parso submit karne jaa rahi to subah accident hogaya (bhai ki bike skid hogayi and we fell down) and now i have a big ass blue bruise on my upper thigh and my parents don't even know lmao and kal ek science conference thi to i had to sit in an auditorium for 6 hours listening to accomplished people speak. that's what you missed now your turn

omg i knew everything in this except for the accident cause i stalk your blog vigorously everyday are you okay!!!!!!!!!! did you get tetanus shots!!!!!!!!!! also on your upper thigh oh no that's where future jiju is supposed to write MINE na as per our beloved song guilty as sin?

[egglygreg]

Ok, so I had this dream last night right? And it was mostly nonsensical and weird and silly, but there was this moment...

[lilacella]

Okay there's more:

So. How will he get out of that? Because the woman (Lily, apparently) claims that Remus would have told her if he had someone new! And the man (James) shows obvious befuddlement about the fact that Sirius has already moved in.

Remus doesn't know the answer to any of their many questions so he keeps throwing Sirius looks, asking for help, because he knows, right? Tell them, babe! (Also. How did we get together actually? You didn't tell me that yet.)

Sirius is, to say it mildly, a little overwhelmed. He has just returned from murdering Peter and he really needs to take a shower and make sure his clothes don't have any blood stains on them - but now he has to have tea! And answer questions...

Luckily, Sirius has always been a quick thinker. He says that he is currently on the run - from his family! They are very wealthy and wanted to marry him off to some rich daughter for better business relations but he cannot stand that life any longer so he fled. [This is only partially true because Sirius has in fact murdered his immediate family during aforementioned flight - it was an unfortunate accident, really! He only wanted a little fire as a distraction for the guards in the yard... well, what's done is done right?😊]

He met Remus moping around the ice cream aisle at the grocery store (thank you @nocturnal-phantom I am taking that idea hahahaha) and they started chatting. Remus told him how lonely he was and Sirius needed a place to stay.

They started of as roommates but very quickly they developed a... more profound bond 🌝😊 That too, happens to be partially true.

As to why Lily and James didn't know any of this? Remus was a little unsure in the beginning and didn't want to put labels on anything! [James nodding here, that does sound like Remus] So shortly after the break up and all...

"So you were just a hookup then?," Lily asks.

"For Remus?," James asks with open disbelief.

Well, what can Sirius say, he has a soft spot for nice lanky men with dimples [horrifyingly this is also in fact true...Sirius doesn't know what to think about this new revelation about himself] and is also not opposed to having hookups at all -

"But now, we are not anymore!," Remus interrupts and grabs Sirius arm with a smile. He just wants to make really sure that Sirius is not leaving anytime soon. Not like Peter apparently did. Remus doesn't remember Peter, not even what he looked like, but from what he has been filled in again he was really mean to him!

To cut this short: James and Lily are sufficiently convinced. In fact they are glad that Remus has found someone new who seems to take such good care of him! The house has never looked this good and Remus seems to actually eat a balanced diet for once in his life so that's great news! Also...this Sirius guy is really charming and James has never met someone who he gets along with so well 😊 When they go home Lily and James keep talking about him and James even considers maybe getting Sirius a job, since he's still out of one. He's so tall and fit and seems to be quite intelligent, he'd make a great Profiler 😊😊😊😊

Hello, I have slept and have further thoughts about the Amnesia Chaos AU:

Back to where Remus hit his head.

At first, Sirius just wants to get him home and leave. He cannot take him to a hospital because there's too much chance he'd get caught (I have settled on the "broke from prison" agenda - or on parole but he kinda just murdered people so, he needs to be a lil careful you know 😊😇). But when he arrives at the house (checked Remus' pockets for the keys) he is absolutely horrified of the state of Remus place.

He barely has any furniture (Bedframe? Don't know her!), all his houseplants are dead and rotten, his fridge smells concerning and is basically empty, everything is kind of a huge mess. What is going on?

From observing Remus for the last weeks, Sirius knows that he does have some money - he's not rich by all means but he works as a teacher and should be able to live somewhat comfortably! So... why doesn't he??

Now, Sirius' interest is peaked and he decides to stay - once again - and just clean up a little while Remus comes to and then maybe ask him "What the hell is wrong with you, do you need any help?"

But when Remus comes to, he doesn't seem to remember anything. Not why his house looks like that, not why his head hurts so much - not even who Sirius is. But since Sirius is in his house, cleaning his kitchen and hands him a cup of tea as he carefully sits up on the sofa, Remus just assumes Sirius might be... a friend??

Remus doesn't remember if he has any friends. He can't even remember his own name. But Sirius remembers his name. Sirius remembers a lot about him and he is in his house taking care of him. So maybe Sirius is more than just a friend?

When Remus asks him so, Sirius has to make a quick decision. He can tell the stranger the truth and then probably get the police called on him or... or he can just smile and comb his fingers through that confused guy's wispy hair and wipe his thumb over his cheek as the stranger gives him a shy smile - and aww he has dimples! Sirius has a soft spot for dimples 😊

So he stays. Once more. Only this time he gets to see more of Remus' face. And of the rest of his body, as the days pass.

Sirius makes up some very elaborate lies about him being away for work for a while and Remus must have been robbed (hence the headwound and the state of the house) and that he already talked to the police so there is nothing to worry about! He makes Remus call in sick for work for a bit so he can recover (and to keep him from telling anyone about Sirius) and this all goes well until there's a knock on the door...

I'M LIVING THE BEST LIFE GETTING INCREDIBLE FICS DELIVERED TO MY INBOX THANK U FOR THIS TREAT SLOTHY BUT ALSO WTF WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME ON THAT CLIFFHANGER WHO IS AT THE DOOR??????

part 1 for people wondering what's going on

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

I can’t believe my parents haven’t taken me to more Indian weddings. I feel robbed

[titsthedamnseason]

YOURE WELCOME FOR THE REMINDER BC I THINK ABOUT THAT POST AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK (and the mbobhft + lilo post) 🫡 i am patiently waiting for the parallels :)

oh yes even when i try i can never think of anyone but lilo during the bridge of that song it’s actually just so fucking perfect (and heart wrenching??? it always gets me teary)

but yeah the day i made the connection with coballoway and so high school something shifted for me. like it’s so fitting that it’s insaneeeee

[odetolovers]

hello 💃

[sunnygalaxyfox]

Over the course of my short time in the fandom, I've talked about what could possibly happen at the end. We've theorized about Ciel's death, with Sebastian's survival, about a possibility that Sebastian gets his reward and moves on. But the one that honestly sticks with me the most is the potential for Sebastian's death in defense of Ciel.

We see the parallel in Sebastian the dog, and with Agni and Soma, just two instances where the loyal protector gives their life, tho I'm sure if we analyzed and dug for more we could find others. We see how much attention she (ms. Toboso) brought during the climax of the Luxury Liner arc of how injured Sebastian actually was after fighting Undertaker, and even going before that, when Grell is first introduced, where Sebastian nearly loses his arm when he had to put aside his own safety and defend Ciel.

I also think it would tie nicely in with his own character arc of this literal monster being the most human, loyal, and caring protector Ciel finally had after surviving all of these tragedies with the monstrous humans in his life. You can argue that the contract made him that way, but honestly, if anyone reads the manga from chapter 1 to the current one (chapter 213), and still thinks Sebastian hates and wants Ciel dead, you're reading with your eyes closed. He goes from resenting his "misfortune" of being saddled with a traumatized brat of a child, who he attempted to trick into breaking the contract, to serving faithfully for three (almost 4 by the end of where the story is currently at) because Ciel has time and time again pleasantly surprised him with how tenacious and unbreakable he is. He is like no other human he has met in his long lifetime.

Now will a Sebastian death be a perma-death, I can't say for certain. He says fairly early on (like in volume 1) that even if his body is destroyed, he will never leave Ciel.

So for now I am just patiently waiting and enjoying the carefully crafted story we're being given. My inner Sebaciel would love to see them have a happily ever after, even just as servant and master, demon and human, solving mysteries and snarking at each other until Ciel's inevitable death. But my inner Sebaciel also knows that this story is about tragedy, and anyone in this story who has loved, has lost the one(s) they cherished the most. Ciel's family, Snake and the circus troupe, Soma and Agni, just as a handful of examples. Honestly the only ones we've seen had a true "happy ending" with their relationship, is Sullivan and Wolfram (which we could argue are foils for Ciel and Sebastian, and likely why they also may not get a happy ending).

I've honestly never read such a tragically beautiful story as Black Butler, and I'm really excited to see the end of the story, even if it rips my heart out.

I’m actually really curious on what kind of ending people want Kuroshitsuji to have; should Ciel die young? Should it take decades before he achieves his revenge? Would you rather the manga ends with Sebastian eating Ciel, Ciel escaping that fate somehow, or an open ending where the manga ends without ever confirming whether Sebastian gets to have his meal?

I’m personally rather undecided but I love romanticizing Sebastian eating Ciel; so there’s that.