#but I need to info dump in a safe space!!
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Um guys? Guys? Why is there a tag limit?? Why is thERE A TAG LIMIT?? AAAAAAAAAAA
#tumblr#writers on tumblr#tumblr tags#but I need to info dump in a safe space!!#and then go through tumblr peer review!!!#what do you expect me to do???#talk less??????#actually make posts instead of using tags?????????#but tags are my safe place!!!!!!!!!!#autism#neurodiverse stuff#its the neurodivergency#neurodiversesquad#autism comedy#actually autistic
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Thinking about Buggy, and the Cross Guild specifically.
Like. The fanfkcs are good. But I have yet to find some that touch on some generalized headcanons and the byproducts thereof.
Autistic Mihawk? YES!! But give me Mihawk who has more autistic traits than just the generalized blank stare and monotone voice. Give me Mihawk who, when actually invested in something, struggles with volume control. Give me Mihawk who can and WILL info dump when given a chance - about the history of swordsmanship, maybe even gardening, give him hyperfixations. Give him some textures he will just touch and touch and touch, and some which he'll quite literally shrivel up and die if he has to touch.
Crocodile has all his Bananwanis and maybe even breeds them? Yes! But give me Crocodile being a Reptile Dad. Give me Croc who loves on and trains the 'Wanis, who is adamant on their care and knowledgeable about them. Give me Crocodile who is trans and occasionally has moments of dysphoria even after Ivankov's miracle hormone treatment. He passes as Cis, sure, but sometimes the KNOWING is the worst. Give me Crocodile whose safe space is with his pets, who loves them and is loved by them in turn.
Buggy being smarter than he lets on is always peak. But people often boil it down to selective intelligence, and give him no other skill sets. Give me Buggy who is sensory seeking, autistic and whose special interests are in chemistry, explosives, circuses, and the like. Buggy who LOVES bright, clashing colors because it makes his eyes happy, who stims using his Devil Fruit, and who is actually a very good cook - he thinks of it as chemistry and art. He's had a LOT of practice as well.
Now let's mix them. Give me kinesthetic stimming Buggy and Mihawk. Give me them sharing their favorite stims and finding new ones. Give me them sharing in stimming, give me Buggy dragging Mihawk to the aerial equipment and teaching him to use it. Give me them just finding a niche and enjoying themselves. Give me Buggy and Mihawk finding a new common ground that neither expected but they are so so so happy for.
Give me Crocodile learning their likes and dislikes. Giving me him throwing out one waist coat without hesitation bc Buggy huggy him once, snuggled close and gagged when it touched his skin. Give me him replacing all the velvet in his room because this one kind is bad for Mihawk, but this other one is absolutely bewitching to the swordsman. Give me him just wordlessly putting up these multicolored fairy lights and not saying anything when Buggy asks him why, just pushes the clown down into the bed, clicks them on, and says "you need to calm down, you've been up since yesterday."
Give me Mihawk and Buggy in turn Recognizing when Croc had bad days and learning to help massage his stump. Give me Buggy experimenting with herbs and lotions until he makes one himself that will help with the pain and fits all the sensory needs of everyone involved.
Just. Yes. Cross Guild Poly. But give me the behind the scenes domestic stuff because THAT is where the dopamine is.
#buggy#dracule mihawk#sir crocodile#one piece#cross guild#autistic Buggy#autistic mihawk#cross guild polycule#domestic pirate polycule#*kisses your forehead for reading this far*
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Loki x Autistic!Partner Headcannons
Please be aware these are based off my own experiences with autism as a late diagnosed, cis woman. No autistic person is the same. Don’t take this as advice.
You finally got the diagnosis, after years of feeling like there was something missing, something not clicking… And then finally, it made sense.
When you told Loki, well, he looked at you strangely. Confused. Sure, you were a little ‘quirky’ (what a classic descriptor used), had your… habits. Why did mortals have a word for everything?
“It doesn’t change anything.” Loki had told you. You knew he meant well, you knew how he meant it.
“But it does. In a way.” You’d told him. It meant you now had the chance to make changes, to adjust, set boundaries in your life.
You were getting ready for bed when you saw a book on the bedside table that you didn’t recognise. Loki had a habit of leaving his books lying around. But typically they were all old looking, massive ancient texts with the occasional modern novel. Moving towards the table, you picked it up, eyeing the title.
“I wanted to read up on it.” Loki spoke from the doorway, seeing you turn to look at it. “Understand. Help.” He said softly, slowly approaching. “Make sure that I can do everything that I can to make life easier.” He paused. “Which I know sounds ridiculous coming from the God of Mischief who is renown for doing the exact opposite.” He smirked, tone teasing.
You felt a warmth in your chest, seeing the genuine care in his actions, his words. Putting the book down, you closed the distance between you both, giving him a hug. Loki instantly wrapped his arms around you, holding you close, a small soft smile on his lips.
“I know it’s not the same…” He began quietly. “But… I know how it feels to be… on the outside.” He paused. “To feel like… you are always trying to find a place to fit in. Wishing you could be understood.” His hand soothingly rubbed your back. “But…” His lips tugged upwards faintly. “Then I found you and you made me feel like I belonged.”
And of course, he did the same for you. It was amazing how one person could make you feel that way.
Loki was a man who was both impatient and patient, but with you, he was always the latter. Sure, there were time when he got frustrated - but never at you. It was at himself, at the fact he couldn’t simply magic any problems you faced away (literally and metaphorically).
When you go quiet, he doesn’t force you to try to speak, or try to engage you in conversation, knowing that you just need time and space and quiet. But he will sit with you. And of course, give you plenty of hugs if that’s what you needed.
He feels a warmth spread through him whenever he sees you happy stim, it never fails to bring a smile to his face. If you’re happy, he’s happy.
Loki always laughs with you, not at you.
The first time he see’s you having a meltdown tears at his heart. He does his absolute best to help calm you down, but knows there’s boundaries and is always conscious of what he says or does in those situations. He doesn’t crowd you, even if his first instinct is to wrap you in his arms and hug you, make you feel safe - but he knows that isn’t always what you need.
After a while, he began to pick up on the small things, the tiny details that told him you were becoming overwhelmed or frustrated, instantly allowing you to take the reins and tell him what you need and want to ensure you didn’t get to the point of a meltdown.
Loki never treats you like a child. He’d read about how common it is for people to do that, and the notion seemed utterly absurd to him.
Oh, he loved hearing you info-dump and talk about your interests. He loved seeing the way your eyes lit up, the way you spoke so passionately and enthusiastically about them.
“Sorry, I was rambling-“ You’d say sheepishly, making Loki furrow his brows. “No, no, continue. Please.” He’d encourage, nodding with a small smile. “I want to know.”
And of course, you could listen to him speak about magic for hours. You loved seeing him be passionate about such things too, his facial expressions, the quips he’d make about how people didn’t know the difference between ‘duplicate casting’ and ‘illusion projection’.
“Honestly, it’s not that hard to understand.” “They’re clearly completely two different things.” “It’s insulting.”
He’d cast illusions of the night sky on the ceiling, fluttering butterflies, small fireworks… anything that made your eyes light up. He’ll bring you some form of calm.
When you got snappy or agitated, he’d bite his tongue. His instinct was to quip back - he was still Loki after all. But he understood that it wasn’t personal, it wasn’t him. And so over time, the defensiveness would wane, and he’d simply give you space or whatever you need.
You understood each other. As Loki had said, it was different circumstances, but he knew how it felt to be seen as the ‘outsider’, not feeling like he quite fit in but didn’t understand why - until he, of course, found out his true heritage.
But there was a kinship there. He knew how lonely and isolating it could feel to be seen as ‘different’. And he never wanted you to feel that with him. And you never wanted him to feel that with you.
He found you comforting. Calming even. Like a solace to the soul. Through the good and the bad.
You’d told him about your childhood, how you never felt like you fit in, couldn’t work out why other children weren’t as nice to you or wouldn’t let you play with them at break time. Even when they did, it never was what you wanted to do or suggested. Always playing by their rules.
Loki could relate to that. Growing up with Thor and the others… He always preferred reading and learning magic over the more… boisterous activities they would prefer. And he always felt like he was just there because of Thor.
You told him about how you went through your teen years being confused about everything and anything. The turmoil of emotions you had no understanding of yet, why you felt so tired, sad, angry and alone. It broke his heart to know you had gone through such things, to know you had ‘changed’ yourself to try and fit in with others expectations and ideals.
Yes, he also understood that feeling rather well too.
“You know you never have to do that with me, right?” Loki had asked, never wanting you to feel that way with him.
“Am I too much?” You’d once asked him, and the look on your face - the fact you’d even asked him - tugged at his heartstrings.
“Maybe.” Loki said softly, noticing your face drop for a moment before he quickly added: “But-“ Making you look up at him, brows furrowing. “You’re my too much.” He told you, eyes crinkling faintly. “And I know I’m quite a handful, so I do hope I’m also your too much.” He’d add playfully, making you smile. “Seems like we’re each others ‘too much’ then.” You mused lightly.
(Last quote is from/based on Heartbreak High)
#loki x reader#loki laufeyson x reader#loki headcanons#Loki#loki laufeyson#loki imagine#marvel loki#loki odinson#loki x you
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I understand if you’re too busy to answer this or don’t want to, but i was wondering if you wouldn’t mind telling us some of your non-explicit headcanons or just some traits you think wolfstar have in general? Your explicit ones are sososo hot but today I'm feeling low and need some comforting. Yiur blog is just a safe space for me but I totally understand if not! I love your work <3 all my love x
There are so many nondescript hc’s I have that this has the potential to turn into a formal essay with cited sources, so I’ll go for more of a generalised dump of info I have for each in a hope that it lifts some of your fog Anon. Maybe bullet pointed because it’ll be easier to read than my usual untidy form of communication. Hope you feel lighter soon.
Sirius
• will lick a yoghurt pot if there’s no clean spoons. There’s the option to go for fruit instead, but he wants the yoghurt and by god he will get his yoghurt
• is a fucking terrible driver, gives Remus and any passenger white knuckles due to speed issues and not using a lower gear when taking corners
• is however, in complete control when on a motorcycle; very hot, very controlled and will take his passenger’s safety very seriously
• professionally trained in ballroom and ballet, the latter which he is sometimes mocked in jest for, even by Remus, until he one time caught him stretching elegantly on the floor one morning with his upper body laid flat between long, toned, wide spread legs, ‘morning moony’, a healthy blush on his cheeks
• private crier, doesn’t cry easily
• goes quiet when angry as an initial defence but it doesn’t take long for him to start dropping breadcrumbs of sarcastic comments; can also be snobby and bratty, perhaps sometimes will get nasty and direct (bringing up things he shouldn’t to score points in the heat of the moment)
• suffers immeasurable guilt (helped by the point above) but is always masking a weighted feeling of guilt no matter what he’s doing, so much so it’s manifested into quite a serious anxiety problem in the wrong crowds
• he fidgets a lot, not in a chaotic way, just always has to have his fingers busy with something
• likes the smell of gasoline
• once had to talk himself down from throwing a child in a dustbin
• loves the colour red; blood red and cherry red to be precise but secretly loves dark blue even more because it’s what looks most handsome on Remus despite him not wearing it often
• sighs a lot
• pretended he couldn’t speak English to get away with jumping a queue
• hates the smell and taste of liquorice (unless heavily strawberry/cherry/raspberry flavoured)
• on one particular messy night out he got so impatient waiting at the bar, he reached over and grabbed a discarded bottle of alcohol the server had left open and swigged it
• digs his nails into his skin when anxious and is often reminded to relax the tension in his joints
• stargazes often
• once linked his pinky finger with Remus and asked him to pinky promise not to tell anyone what he was about to tell him, since which a tradition of trust was born where Remus will offer his pinky or the last two fingers for Sirius to hold or squeeze when he’s feeling unsure in public, or in any situation where verbal reassurance isn’t appropriate
• gets a weird thrill at the sound of cork popping from a bottle
Remus
• collects beer mats and keeps them in a drawer, thinks about making them into a display
• got tired of kids playing ball against the wall of his place (after repeat offences and him asking very nicely for them to stop) one day so went out, retrieved the ball and threw it so hard against of the cars it set the alarm off
• owner of said car came running out the house and Remus blamed it on the children. Never had the same issue again
• has a wildly sweet tooth and will always drop one or two packets of sugar into any warm beverage
• stares into space and gets involuntarily caught on someone’s face one too many times which makes them uncomfortable from the ‘Death Stare’ phenomenon when in reality, he’s lost in lala land
• can cook, is actually a proficient cook, but will not cook for anyone but Sirius, James or Lily
• will crack his knuckles, wrists and neck absentmindedly, all of which makes his company squirm because it’s often very loud and ‘pop-py’ but Sirius fucking loves it
• stays very calm during an argument but can shout louder than most and when he does, ears ring from the silence that follows
• prefers tea over coffee
• will eat liquorice any time he wants to piss Sirius off
• cries more than Sirius, but still a private crier
• always has to be the old boot in Monopoly
• loves words that are vowel heavy or double voweled because those are the ones where the scraps of Sirius’ lost French accent surface the most
• has a gentle touch, is aware of his size and nature of his lycanthropy, therefore always somewhat reserved
• loves socks, has a collection of ‘dad socks’
• has the messiest writing out of all the Marauders but loves handwritten things, owns three very different fountain pens for very different purposes
• is polite, but as he’s aged doesn’t tend to ‘fake smile’ a lot, feeling no need to fill uncomfortable silences for the sake of others
• has a chair he favours and often dozes off in it. Most of the time waking up to Sirius on top of him
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Steven Grant x Autistic!Reader
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Just some drabbles of what being friends/partners with Steven Grant would look like with an autistic reader since, I myself, am autistic. Autism is a spectrum so I tried to make it inclusive but some of the traits are obviously going to be more geared towards my experience since that's what I'm writing from. Also gender neutral!reader
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺
TW: talking about stimming, autistic meltdowns, cpstd, insomnia, DID
Steven Grant
Steven Grant has a lot of autistic traits, so I’ll be treating him like he is.
Rigid routines, hyperfixations (Egyptology), always calling his Mom every morning, being visibly upset when his routine is changed, etc
CPSTD can exacerbate autism traits so whether or not Marc and Jake have autism in particular I’m not going to get into right this moment BUT
man has insomnia among other things he gets it he understands you better than most.
If you were cohabitating the both of you would have your safe spaces in the flat
On top of that the entire place would be sensory friendly, your little retreat
Overhead light never gets turned on when it’s with you two, Steven keeps the curtains open for some natural light
incense from his involuntary travels would be stockpiled
He definitely has some sort of trinket or keepsake that makes white noise of some kind
Might be a water feature or windchimes hung up by the window- Gus’ tank also emits some white noise from the filter and water pump
The flat will always have some sort of noise to drown out the busy streets outside
When the noises are overstimulating to the both of you though he’s got noise canceling headphones and earbuds- he misplaces them a lot so there’s always extra to go around
Though eventually he gets you your own pair for around the flat
If you use a cane or any sort of walker he invests in making sure you have a spot to put it while you’re around the flat and that there’s actually space for you to walk around with it if needed
While he loves his collections of books, if you can’t traverse the flat with all that stuff on the floor he’s going to find another spot for them. Shoved into a closet somewhere- a storage unit, whatever he can do to keep his books and you
You both definitely stay in a lot more than you do go out
The street just outside the flat is busy but in the quieter hours the two of you go on short walks under the moonlight
If you’re novelty seeking though Steven’s not going to be the best at helping but will do his best to tag along with you if it’s outside of the house.
Sometimes he’s right there with you ready to go out and other times he’s just wanting to stay home, you don’t always match energies
Novelty seeking at home though? Completely different story. He’s always happy to dive into a new topic with you, whether it’s related to his own hyperfixation or one of your own
Insomnia and DID affect his memory so even if he has come to terms with Marc he’s still going to be writing things down, taking notes on the subject you two are diving into
When you need to stim Steven has a TON of trinkets and stim toys around the flat if not already in his pockets
The only thing he wouldn’t share with you is his rubik cube, if that’s not already in his hands while the two of you are talking it’s in his pocket or misplaced on a shelf it’s definitely his most well loved stimming item and he has to fix it, often
Puzzles also! From old crosswords to literal picture puzzles he’s down to do them all with you and will probably be absentmindedly doing one while you info dump
He has a rocking chair somewhere in the flat that’s incredibly comfy and well loved for some full body stimming
I don’t think Steven would have a sensory swing and if he does he was to embarrassed to set up for himself
Like Steven doesn’t hate himself for being autistic
He never learned to mask but there’s still lingering anxieties, they just aren’t focused around his autism, more on his DID and just general trauma
If you or any or the other alters found the swing though there would be some questions and a lot of hesitance and excuses on Steven’s end
Well you bet that swing is getting set up now
Even if Steven doesn’t end up using it as much he’s glad that it’s there if you or him need it at some point
You both do parallel play/being alone together- you’ll focus on your task and he’ll do his while you both are in the same room
Whilst some tasks give Steven the ick he can’t offload all the chores to his alters
So when the dishwasher needs to be opened or dishes cleaned in the sink he has a whole process to try and make it easier on himself
He wouldn’t be good at helping you out with these tasks either but his presence is appreciated
If eating noises are triggering Steven will either fetch the noise canceling headphones or go eat out on the porch or off in another room
Safe foods! He has them written down if he doesn’t already remember them
The flat is stocked with both his and your safe foods
If you’re out of the house he keeps a backpack on him that would have snacks and trinkets
I don’t think Steven goes nonverbal often mostly because I think that version for him is probably just retreating back and forcing the other alters out so that at least someone is talking in whatever situation is happening
I think if it does happen in a safe space with you though he’s most likely writing down his thoughts to you over his notebook
When you go nonverbal he gets a little panicky, because he knows how he feels when that comes up so he’s much more fretful over that
He starts asking you a bunch of yes or no questions to things you may need which isn’t always entirely helpful as it can be a bit overwhelming
But after his anxieties are quelled he’s much more able to help out in whatever you need
Whatever communication device or tool you use he’s more than willing to accommodate and carries around cards in the backpack as well
When you have a meltdown for the first time in front of him he definitely isn’t entirely sure of himself, he doesn’t know exactly what you need so it takes some trial and error
After the meltdown though he asks what you’d like to have happen when another one occurs
Whether you need physical touch or instead a weighted blanket or touch sensation at all he’s ready to help
Whatever entertainment medium you like he’ll put on/grab to keep your mind distracted and calmed
If it’s in public he will probably let another alter handle it since that’s overwhelming for him too though I think he feels guilty about it despite it just being a defense mechanism on his end.
He wants to help you and himself, but part of that is accepting where he’s at and sometimes trying to push yourself is the opposite of what’s needed
#moon knight#steven grant#steven grant x reader#steven grant x gender neutral reader#steven grant x you#steven grant x y/n#autistic!reader#disabled!reader#moon knight fanfic#steven grant fanfiction
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Price confessing to you too soon
Masterlist Hurt/comfort Pairing: PriceXReader Summary: Sometimes it's just a right person, wrong time.
Your now ex was turfed down the stairs, your belongings were already in Prices car trunk - the worse was left behind. Yet you can't stop tears rolling down your cheeks.
He is tapping the steering wheel nervously, but keeps quiet, hoping, that you just need some space and time to calm down.
Sadly, it isn't that easy. As much as you try to control your mood - you are obviously worn out by the last days around your ex, all your fights, those ugly words, he threw you in the face. So tears keep rolling as you quietly sob, looking away from John, who couldn't take it anymore and helped you finally escape the place and person, that brought you so much pain lately.
But he isn't ok with you hiding from him. That's why Price pulls to the side at the next gas station, leaves you for a few minutes in the car, and then returns with a bottle of water and your favorite chocolates.
"Can't believe, you still remember, I like those." You brush away your tears and try to smile at him, as your old friend opens your door and hands you a treat.
This act of care should have cheered you up, but you suddenly remember your ex screaming, “You're just waiting for everyone to serve you!” And tears treacherously well up in your eyes again.
You are about to turn away once more, but he kneels to meet your eye level and catches your face. His hold is so careful and tender, It's hard to believe, these same hands threw your ex down the stairs as if he was just a toy.
"You remember, you told me about this thing, 'Raison d'être' a long time ago?" He cups your cheeks and leans closer, so that he can talk quietly and still remain heard despite traffic sounds and music coming from the store.
You nod. Of course, you remember. John is one of the very few people, who you could call in the middle of the night just to info dump him with this concept of "reason for being", you've just read about. It was so simple, yet elegant, you just had to share it with somebody. And Price was always there to hear whatever you had to tell him.
"Good." He looks you deep in the eyes for some time and then continues speaking. "I thought about it. A lot. And I think, you being safe, feeling safe is my 'Raison d'être'. I will do anything I can for you to feel safe around me. I will guard you, will fight for you. And I swear, you can be vulnerable around me. Be tired, angry, cry, shout at me, curl up in my arms if you want - I will never hurt you."
And that's when something inside you cracks and breaks apart. Not only John helped you escape, not only was he immediately ready to give you shelter in his home - he was ready to stay by your side, while you were at your lowest. You stop holding back and cry ugly.
"Let it out. Let it all out. You suffered so much. I was an idiot for figuring things out for so long. Should have stood up for the one, I care about so much, sooner. Cry, love, you're safe to do so now." He whispers, embracing you caringly and shielding you from prying eyes.
There are many things yet to come. Eventually you will calm down, tears will dry out. There will be quiet evenings, watching Netflix together, or cooking something, or just sitting on a coach beside him, talking about everything and nothing simultaneously. You will fall asleep, and he will bring you to your room.
John will never mention, what he said that day on the gas station. There will be no need, because one day the realization will come to you. 'Raison d'être', 'the one, I care about so much'... these are not exactly the words, one would use on just a friend.
You will still be healing, pick yourself up piece by piece, when a simple idea will appear: John Price loves you, have already for quite some time.
You will half lay on a couch under the blanket, he picked specially for you to never get cold, when he's not around, you will watch this man doing his magic in the kitchen. You will be full of gratitude for him not demanding anything of you, not making a move, not even trying to take any advantage of a current situation, you two are in. You will enjoy the feeling of security, Johns 'Raison d'être', all while new love will slowly but surely blossom in your heart.
#john price fanfic#cod#cod x reader#john price x reader#john price x you#captain john price#john price#captain price x you#captain price#captain price x reader#captain price imagine#cod modern warfare#cod mw2#cod x you#captain john price x you#captain john price fluff#john price fluff#captain john price x reader#john price mw2#price cod#price mw2#price mw3#price x you#price x reader#cod john price#call of duty mw2
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One step from you
Paring: modern!prosecutor!Aemond Targaryen x commissioner!reader
Synopsis: a surprise dinner invitation, forces closed off prosecutor Aemond Targaryen to start rethink his life.
Warnings: Aemond's social anxiety, dumbass to (maybe) lovers, reader's overbearing family.
What brings Aemond to dinner with your whole family is the botulinum outbreak in the county.
He means no disrespect, when he elects to interrogate your mum you, obviously, can’t; he would have never expected the woman in front of him to explain him, lengthy and with extreme precision, how to prepare: marinated vegetables, tomato puree and many complicated, traditional dishes.
After he was done with her, he had felt full, not unlike after a wedding feast and he had only had one espresso for breakfast!
You found him still at the precinct late that same night, you obviously working on other cases, him drinking that terrible, horrible, no good coffee from the vending machines in the corridor.
You’ve been meaning to talk to him, to say how sorry you were that your mother had dumped centuries of culinary history on him, while not answering the questions, but you were on the cusp of discovering the heads of a big drug ring, and had managed to come back to your office just half and hour ago.
Despite having worked with him countless times, you find prosecutor Aemond Targaryen to be aloof and difficult to talk to, even when it concerned work matters; not that he’s ever been rude with you, just that you find yourself unconsciously checking your posture and don’t really know how friendly you can be with him, even after years of working together. It doesn’t help that you have a crush on the man that forces you to act more distant with him, that you’d be with anyone else: you can’t risk rumors to spread.
Surprisingly enough, it’s him who starts the conversation.
“Commissioner, I thought I was alone with the night shift.”
“I’ve just returned, sir.” You stared at the vending machine for a second. “I’m sorry about my mother, she told me you interrogated her”
“She was more offended that I believed her a bad cook, than the botulinum outbreak accusations.”
“Sir, my mother is the best chef in the county.”
“I haven’t disputed that”
“By implying that her food might be contaminated, you basically did, sir.”
The way he stared at you made a smile break on your face. It’s safe, no one is around to see it.
“I’ve never said that. We have no idea where the botulinum comes from, let alone which hotel is the, metaphorical, patient zero” he said, stiff
“My mother has her own set of priorities, sir. She might not know much about accounting and how to run that side of the business, but in the kitchen? She’d be able to run the place blindfolded and with her right hand behind her back” you couldn’t stop smiling.
Despite how at odds you and your mother are, sometimes, you are proud of her and of the way she had carved her space in a male dominated world.
“I am merely doing my job” he answered, his face set
“I know sir” you tried to school your expression, but the smile didn’t want to go away (danger! Danger!). “And I will tell her how hard you are working to clean everyone’s name”.
After that the conversation abated, you tried not to gag while drinking your coffee, he stared at you, puzzled as to why you find what he’s just told you so funny.
Despite what Aegon tells him, Aemond is keenly aware of the complicated dance of social interactions, he just finds himself with two left feet, in a world where everyone else is a mix between Rudol'f Nureev and Carla Fracci. Take this moment with you: you two were chatting, you are being friendly and he couldn’t respond in tune, even if he wanted to because he had no idea how joke about your mother info dumping on him, who barely knows how to fry an egg.
“Oh, Gods be good!” You said. “I need some shut eye before we start interrogating the detainees.”
Someone else, anyone else, would have found a witty way to ask you how the investigation was going, what escaped his lips was a dry
“Do you think you will close it soon?”
“I hope so, sir,” the smile on your face less prominent. “We all want to see the results.” You answered feeling the easiness of your conversation abating
“Then good luck”
“Thank you sir,” You answered. “Good luck to you too.”
You bid him goodnight and left him to stare at your retracting back, telling himself what an idiot he’s been in being so awkward with you.
You don’t really see him, too overwhelmed with your drug ring case to go look for him and ask how the botulinum outbreak is going; you know that the people at the hospital are getting better, it’s the rest of the story that you are missing. You make a point of not asking your mother, whenever she calls you, not even when she mentions Aemond: it’s a slippery slope to mix work and family life together.
You stumble upon Aemond, again, late at night. You had foregone the celebrations with your team, after closing the drug ring investigation, to spend some time alone in your office to relax, since both your brain and body are still running high on adrenaline, and you’d rather not crash where your subordinates might see you.
The police station is eerily quiet, the echo of the steps of the night shift barely reaches your floor and the sky is dark outside, the moon hidden by a thick blanket of clouds: it might finally rain.
You jump out of your skin the second Aemond calls you from the shadows, you are positive your heart will explode with fear and adrenaline.
“Sir!” You shout, one hand going to your chest
“Commissioner.” He says, eyeing you
“What are you doing here? It’s late!” Comes out with too much emphasis and he winces inwardly
“I could ask you the same question.” He answers, tone clipped as usual
“Jesus weep!”.
Aemond feels sorry at having scared you so. He knows he is light on his feet, but he thought you’d be able to hear him coming: you’re a cop, after all!
In his heart Aemond knows he should leave before the silence becomes too awkward, he might have a handful of seconds before your breathing goes back to normal and he is forced to perform, badly, some sort of small talk.
Sometimes he hates this divide between him and the rest of the world.
He is getting ready to retreat, when you surprise him
“Have you already eaten dinner?”
He doesn’t know what to respond and why do you care?
“I have some food mother sent me and I don’t feel like eating alone.” You say with a brilliant smile on your face.
Aemond hesitates. You mother’s hotel has been cleared of any responsibility, still he has investigated her: it’s not proper to eat the food of a former suspect, he should politely say no and go home.
The idea of returning to the hotel room he occupies, even since he had to relocate for his first assignment, dampens his volition: the room service has already closed and he doesn’t have any food in the small fridge; on top of that, the idea of eating take out again depresses him when he knows homemade food is within his reach.
Before he can’t stop himself he accepts your invitation. You’re glad he’s answered immediately, or you would have lost courage yourself.
The walk towards your office is short.
Aemond misses the old location of the precinct: a Renaissance building, dusty and a bit moldy, but with character and beautiful frescoes on the ceilings. The new place is depressingly anonymous, all metal and white walls.
He appreciates what you’ve tried to do with you office: the plants and the frames on your desk give the room a spark of personality, whilst maintaining a professional atmosphere; the couch near the window looks comfy and, he suspects with a twinge of tenderness, that you might have taken more than one nap there.
There’s an exaggerated number of Tupperwares and jars on the desk you use for the meetings with your men, all the containers neatly wrapped, the contents written on the paper with a flowery handwriting.
“I told you, sir. Mother exaggerated, as usual.” You tell him with mirth in your voice. “Do you mind moving everything on my desk? I need to set the table.”
With that you head towards one the filing cabinets, open one of the drawers and extract a colorful tablecloth, plastic plates and cutlery, to his immense surprise. Gently you put everything on the top of the cabinet, in order to rummage so more, to produce a tube of plastic glasses.
Again, the divide he feels stops him from saying anything funny when you turn towards him with your arms full and stare quizzically at him. He elects to keep silent as he moves everything on your desk, while you set the table for two.
You two work in silence to unwrap everything and he marvels again at the sheer amount of food that’s on the table: various preserved vegetables, bread, savory pies and desserts.
He sits after you and waits until you’ve served yourself, before trying a bit of everything.
He suppresses a moan of appreciation at the way the flavors explode in his mouth; the food he buys doesn’t taste this good, even what the cook at home used to prepare can’t compare, the various ingredients and textures meld perfectly on his tongue.
“Do you like it?” You ask, after a while, to break the silence.
“It’s excellent” he answers.
“Do you understand why mother was so pissed that you thought she isn’t a good chef?”
Aemond stares at you, eye fixed into yours.
“I’ve never said that. Even the best professional might make a mistake which results in people developing food poisoning.”
“Not mother, sir. I’ve been raised by her side, in the kitchen. I know how precise she is with every preparation, the conserves mostly. She knows the dangers of food going bad. She’d rather throw everything out, than risk hurting someone. She’s so strict, that she only uses the food that she grows in the garden; everything she serves, she knows the origin. Even the juices are home pressed”
“You know how to prepare all of this?”.
He hopes his incredulity doesn’t seep in his words. You don’t look like the kind of person who would slave in a garden and in a kitchen to prepare traditional meals.
“I do, sir, and I would make my own food, if only I weren’t always here. It takes time and energy to organize your work and then prepare everything. Have you ever participated in making tomato sauce? You need a lot of people, time and space, it takes days!”.
Aemond focuses on your face: he’s never seen you this animated. When you are with him you are always serious and controlled, now there’s a spark in your eyes he’s never seen, the air around you vibrates with an energy he’s never experienced when you relate him the results of your inquest. You look alive in ways, he thinks, no one has ever seen here.
“I can’t say I have.” He answers, putting the fork neatly beside the plate. “My family doesn’t hold these kind of traditions”.
He grimaces inwardly, like every time he shares tidbits of himself with the outside world, waiting for his interlocutor to use the information against him.
“It’s fun, sir. You are absolutely destroyed afterwards, but seeing the fruits of your labor on the shelves, makes for it.”
You say with a smile that covers for no judgment, he realizes. You are merely chatting with him and he can’t detect any ill intention on your part; he’s not used at doing this, talking with people with the only intent to pass the time and get to know them.
“Will you tell your mother that I have appreciated everything she’s prepared?”
“I will, sir. Be mindful, though, she might start sending you food as well.”
“Why would she do such a thing? She doesn’t know me.” He is honestly surprised.
“Because she’s a feeder. She’s told me at least trice that you look too thin and she fears you are living off supermarket food. Unfortunately she comes from a generation where stating opinions on someone’s body is the norm, but she means well.”
“You can assure your mother I am eating healthy food. Not homemade, because I don’t have a garden, yet it’s not frozen meals.” he finds himself saying with a smile.
It’s not a lie, not the complete truth either, he hopes the cook at the hotel chooses the best ingredients, but he doesn’t have that kind of back knowledge to know.
“I’ll try my best, sir. Despite you having to investigate her and her hotel, she likes you. She’s told me what a gentleman you have been throughout the questioning, calling her ‘Mrs’ and listening attentively. She’s added something I shouldn’t say out loud, though.” You say, evading his eye.
“Commissioner, I don’t think anything your mother said about me warrants you keeping the secret. I don’t think she insulted me.”
He is intrigued now, and this is better than asking himself why he feels so at ease with you.
You play with the food on your plate, trying to find the right words.
“She said you reminded her of her grandfather. He was a farmer, but he had studied in a seminary, until his own dad had passed away and he was forced to quit to help feeding his mum and siblings. He was known to be well mannered, even when plowing the land, and well spoken. People noticed how lord like he was, they didn’t see the mud on his boots.” You take a sip of water. “I have never met him, of course, but all the tales about him focus on his bright intelligence and gentleness. He was wasted potential, but back in those times his family couldn’t do anything about it. All his neighbors used to come to him to solve their problems with borders, cattle and the like, because he was always capable of finding a solution that was good for all parties.”
Your eyes bore into his lonely one, your hands pick at the bread on the table with nervousness.
“I’m sorry if I have offended you, sir.”
“You haven’t.” He answers. “He sounds like the kind of man anyone should aspire to be. It is a great compliment to be compared to him.”
“Oh thank God!” You say, the breath you’ve been holding escapes your lips in a huff.
You didn’t know how he would have taken being compared to a simple farmer, when you know well enough how old and important his family is.
“Is there anything else your mother said?”
“No, that’s it”.
It’s not entirely the truth. She’s repeated you how handsome Aemond is and that you should find out if he has someone in his life, because he looks like the kind of man who is just perfect for you. He doesn’t need to know that and how much you agree with you mother.
“Would it be awfully impolite if we don’t finish everything?”
“Oh no sir! Those are my rations for at least a week. It is physically impossible to eat all!”
“You shouldn’t have shared it with me, if it was supposed to last you for so long!”
“Nonsense, sir. I offered because I was happy for you to have a meal with me. And I have other food at home, not homemade, but you will not tell mother, right?” The smile is bright on your lips.
He stares at you fondly. This is the first time in a long while, that he’s felt not so detached from the world around him, almost at ease with you.
“On my honor, commissioner” he smiles, without even realizing it.
He helps you put the food in the containers and throw out the trash.
You two argue on your way to the exit, because he wants to carry everything for you, it looks heavy and he is gentleman, after all, to which you answer that you are used to carry and lift more than this bag.
Outside, the first summer storm is raging, fat drops of water falling almost horizontally on the pavement.
“Is your car nearby, commissioner?” He asks, voice raised to make himself heard.
“It’s that one!” You answer, pointing at the beaten out Cinquecento parked on the corner of the street.
“Are you sure it will withstand the storm?” He has to ask, the thing looks ancient.
“It will. It’s more patches than everything else, but it still runs strong!”
With a huff you don your raincoat and fit the hood on your head.
“How are you going home, sir?”
“With that.” He answers, pointing to a car that costs like your annual wage. “Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you home?”
“I’ll be fine. I’ve driven that through worse conditions.” You stop for a second, unsure of how you should say goodbye. “Well, goodnight sir.”
“Good night commissioner.” He answers.
He stays on the door until you are safely in your car and the thing, miraculously, starts.
Few days pass; he has so much work he might drown in it, yet he has the time to focus on you every single time you two pass the halls of the precinct and of the courthouse. He doesn’t realize what he’s doing, at first, you’re there and he greets you, because his mother has taught him good manners, it’s when he is consciously looking for you, that he realizes what he’s been doing.
It’s strange for him to look out for someone who is not his immediate family: keeping and eye on his siblings has always been a sort of second nature, even though he’s not the first born, because they are his blood and he’s supposed to. You are a nobody, a subordinate, yet he realizes, as he’s pouring over some documents, that his subconscious has been focusing on you for a very long time, the change now being, that he wishes to see more of that spark you showed him during your improvised dinner, at least when you stumble upon him.
For your part, you try not to think about the dinner too much. It had been lovely to see a more human side to your colleague, the downside being that whatever interest you had been developing for him, now has more energy to grow. Your mother is of no help either, she keeps asking about Aemond, as if you were in any position to know any personal information and no, you don’t want to know if he’s single or not, it’s not like you have any chance with him, who has shown zero interest towards you, beside work.
You should have known better.
You mother has a tradition: Friday night family dinner, when she gives the reins of the hotel kitchen to her second in command so she can cook for her family only, and spend time with you all.
She’s been particularly pressing this week, you simply thought she wanted you relax with the people who love you, after the grueling months spent chasing the drug ring. You were wrong.
The first bell should have rang when the space in front of the family home is full of cars. The second when you spotted a car that looked suspiciously similar to Aemond’s posh one. The third the second your mother bear hugged you and then dragged you to the kitchen, chatting like a car salesman to stop your questioning.
“Mom, what the hell?”
You finally manage to interrupt her when you see your colleagues, and their families, helping setting the tables in the back garden.
“What?” She stares at you with fake innocence in her eyes.
“Why is my team here?”
“Oh dear. Didn’t I tell you? I wanted to celebrate your hard work!”
Your mum is many things, a good actress she’s not.
“No, you didn’t.” You say exasperated. “And you called me constantly the past week!”
“Oh, I am getting old and forgetful. I’m sorry dearest.”
You know she isn’t and you are certain she hasn’t forgotten about telling you. You almost start grilling her with questions, when she chirps amiably.
“Oh, look who’s managed to come!”
With horror you see Aemond with a casserole in his hand, your older sister directing him on where to put the thing.
“Mom!”
You think you are going to have a heart attack. You are positive it’s going to happen now, because your heart is beating too fast and you feel like fainting with embarrassment. If you die you don’t have to talk to him, to justify your family probably berating him.
If you’re fast enough you can run to your car before Aemond spots you.
You haven’t considered your mother’s grip on your arm, and your nephews’ sudden influx of love towards you, the three little monster screaming your name and hugging your legs: you are positively struck where you are.
If only the ground were to swallow you.
“Mom, do you have the slightest idea of the family he comes from?”
“Yes, of course I do. They all look dashing, but him? Absolutely breathtaking”.
God please take me now, you think, anything but this!
But God is nowhere to be found and is deafer than ever to your prayers when you see your sister talking to Aemond, who then turns and spots you.
You can’t run away now. Maybe a stray thunderbolt might hit you?
“Good evening commissioner”
“Good evening sir”.
You try to look dignified, pretty difficult when there’s a gaggle of children holding on to your legs and you want to die.
“Children, will you please let me go?” You ask.
“Are you going to run away?” Says nephew number one.
“Mum said to get you, so you would stay!” Adds nephew number two.
“She said you’d try to bolt!” The third one nails the last nail on your coffin.
If you longed for death before, now you wish to burst into flames.
“Why would you leave, commissioner?” Aemond looks sincerely curious.
“I will not. Children, please!”.
The three little monster seem to be happy with the damage they have caused and run away, to play.
“You know how kids are, sir. Minds full of wonder. God only knows what they’ve heard!”
“I think we can use our first names tonight, we are not at work, after all.”
Engrossed as you are in your embarrassment, you don’t hear the insecurity in Aemond’s voice
“Yes sir.” You catch yourself .“Aemond. I hope my family wasn’t too berating.”
“They aren’t. A bit loud, but it calls for the occasion.”
Inwardly he lets go of the breath he was holding. He knows it’s stupid but, like every time he takes a step out of his comfort zone, he feels himself preparing for the worse, for his little attempt to be crushed by the outside world.
“Are you two going to stand there and look pretty, or are you going to help?” Screams your brother in law from where he’s minding the barbecue.
“You do your thing.” You shout back. “And I’ll do mine!”
“He is right. I think there’s more that needs to be set on the table.”
You agree and desperately try not to notice how good Aemond looks.
At work he wears conservative suits, tonight his slacks look comfy and soft, the neckline of his white shirt deeper than the ones you are used to see him wear. His gorgeous hair is in a complicated braid that enhance his beautiful face.
Yes, you need to busy yourself.
Your mum has overdone herself. For the usual Friday dinner, she just sets the table, tonight the whole area is illuminated by strings of light and there’s flowers and plants everywhere. The tablecloths are the finest she owns, the ones she uses only for important occasions. You are moved by the hard work you see here, knowing full well how demanding the hotel is, yet you are pissed that both your mother and sister have ambushed you so; you wouldn’t have refused to come, if you’d known that Aemond would be here!
“What were you two thinking?”
You have managed to snag your sister and drag her in a hidden corner of the garden.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about”
“I am going to throttle you”
“You are worse at lying than mom is! You have any idea of who Aemond is?”
“I perfectly know who he is. He’s the man who’s making me regret I am married and loyal. He’s so dreamy.”
“What for? You work with him!”
“It’s not the same. We don’t have that kind of relationship!”
“But you’ve eaten with him.”
“How do you know that?”
Whatever high ground you thought you had, disappears from under your feet.
“He thanked mum for the food and complimented her, when she called him to invite him tonight.” Your sister says nonchalantly
“How, in the name of God, does she have his phone number?”
At this point you are beyond flabbergasted
“You should ask her! Now come, it’s time to eat!”
Your sister grabs your arm and your nephews appear out of nowhere to help her drag you to your chair which is, lo and behold, next to Aemond’s.
“I’m going to kill you!” You manage to whisper in your sister’s ear
“Enjoy your dinner!” She says with so much saccharine in her voice, you are afraid her teeth will fall off.
Aemond had to prepare himself for tonight, telling himself that being social for one night would be fine, even fun. He knows your men, his consideration of them is almost positive, considering they are cops. Compared to most of their colleagues, they are bearable and not corrupt, which is a first. On top of that, he has already had dinner with you and the experience had been lovely, you were lovely and he couldn’t say no to a mum, his own mother would kill him, but his heart had beaten a tad too fast while he was driving here, the idea of having to deal with so many people, in an unknown context, scared him.
At the courthouse or the precinct, he has a script in his head he can follow, here? He’s left to his own devices and that rarely ends well.
Surprisingly enough, for him, the welcome he received from you family was warm and made him feel like he had always known all of them. Even being, gently, bossed around by your older sister, felt right, not like she was overstepping.
But he can still feel the glass divide between himself and the rest of the world.
It is a strange feeling, to be somewhere, with nice people, and knowing that there’s this distance he can’t overcome. That he can talk with people, break bread with them and yet know that he’s seeing the whole scene from the outside, instead of being part of it, as if he’s the spectator to a play.
Even you, sitting by his side, chatting and laughing, the delicate scent of your perfume in his nostrils, barely manage to breach the gap that had always distanced him from the rest of the world.
Your mum, for her part, tries to make him participate in the conversation, as if she’s aware of the way he’s feeling. But she can’t know, he tells himself, no one has ever been able to, why could she?
And she seems to be intent to feed him like a pig. Aemond can’t say no to her, not when she puts food on his plate and tells him to try this dish, which she had made especially for him; Alicent would kill him if she’d ever knew he had caused grief to a fellow mother, who has worked hard just for him.
“Do you want to get a breath of fresh air?” You ask him during a lull between courses.
“I wouldn’t mind it.” He answers, hoping the relief is not too noticeable.
You hope no one notices you two slipping away to go to the roof of the house. On your way there, you stop in front of an ancient daguerreotype.
“That’s him.” You say.
Aemond behind you hums, his eye admiring the old face staring back at him.
The man looks nothing like him, the huge mustaches occupy his face, giving him a serious look, but that’s not why he understands your mother’s reasoning: it’s the aura he can feel exuding from the daguerreotype, the power that only knowledge gives you, the one Aemond had always felt during his studies, what truly made him feel strong and capable, against a world he rarely understood.
“Thank you for showing me his picture.” Aemond says, meaning it from the bottom of his heart: our family, our roots, it’s all we have, when everything is said and done.
“And this one is my granddad, his son. He’s the one who started the hotel, from his literal home”.
The photo he looks at is yellow with age, a man staring at something just over Aemond’s shoulder, the typical pose for pictures of that time; you look a lot like him, he realizes, in the shape of your eyes and mouth.
“Let’s go, before my sister sends her minions from hell!” You laugh, making your way up the staircase.
The night is warm but a gentle breeze moves your hair, as soon as you and Aemond arrive on the roof.
Like many houses in this region, it is flat and had been used for centuries to store rain water and hang the drying clothes; Aemond notices your family has comfortable garden furniture here and a closed beach umbrella.
Ignoring everything, you head for the edge of the roof, where you can feel the breeze more; Aemond follows you, taking the time to observe you.
You look like summer in your pretty dress and wedge heels, your hair styled and not up in the conservative bun you wear at work. Yes, you are pretty, not that you aren't in your usual clothing, it's just that these illuminate you, make you look happier and livelier. He understands your fashion choices at work. He once heard another female police officer saying that she would have dressed more feminine, but then, where keep her gun? And the field is still so male dominated that showing any other kind of traits, would immediately mean becoming laughing stock.
“Are you enjoying yourself?” A tinge of anxiety marks your voice
“I am. It is different than my usual Friday night, but a good change”
“I’m glad. My family can be hard to handle, even for me.” You say, shielding your face with your hair
“They are a peculiar bunch indeed, but nice and welcoming.”
Silence falls between you two again, broken only by the music coming from downstairs; it’s not heavy, though, Aemond muses, he doesn’t feel the need to either leave or try to awkwardly fill it with words, before the other person decides it has been weird enough. In his life, he only felt like this with his beloved sister Helaena: she never minded sitting by his side, just quietly enjoying life.
“This is my family’s ancestral home. It had been expanded and changed, but my family has been living here since centuries. My grandfather used to rent out all the rooms he could, that’s how the hotel started.”
“It must have been hard.”
“Yes. Many sacrifices were made, but he didn’t want his daughter to slave in the fields all her life.”
“She still decided on physical labor, instead of a managerial position, though.”
“The key is that it was her choice. She wakes up every morning and still wants to do it. It is a luck not everyone has.”
“Do you still have it?”
Aemond doesn’t know where the question comes from, he’s usually mindful of someone else privacy, but with you that invisible, glass divide with the world, seems to become thinner and thinner and he deludes himself with thinking he might truly reach through it and touch you.
“I do, and I don’t sometimes.” You admit, eyes not meeting his. “I love my team and what we do, I just miss how exciting my life was undercover, and after, at the internal affairs.”
“Do you want to go back to that?”
You don’t answer immediately, you let the wind blow through your hair and the lights from downstairs dance in your eyes.
“No, I don’t think I want to. It’s just that this job sucks the life out of you, sometimes. All the violence and the filth and having to shield the people I love from that makes me feel. I think I miss more the person I was, the way I used to look at this work, like a source of a better change for this world. Now that I am older and wiser, I realize that, at best, we try to empty the ocean with a spoon, at worse, we are protecting those who have reduced the world into what it is.”
If he were another person, Aemond would have reached for your hand, to give you comfort, but he is who he is and doesn’t know what to do.
He doesn’t expect your question.
“What about you, Aemond? Do you still wake up with the same drive you used to have?”
“I do.” He is surprised by how fast he answers, but this had been a surprising night, it’s OK. “I see all of it and it makes me what to double down on my work. But I understand: you are supposed to protect, but whom, truly? The poor person who steals out of hunger, or the company they steal from?”
“You’re lucky then.” You say with a sad smile on your lips
“I probably am.” What you don’t know, it’s that it’s the glass divide he sometimes despises, that helps him keep a distance between himself and the ugly parts of his job.
“I feel like my mind is always there. I cook and clean, play with my nephews and chat with my mum, and a part of me is always pouring over the files. It’s never ending.”
“I have a bike.” He blurts out “We can go on a trip, take you away from your routine.”
He truly doesn’t know where the invitation comes from. Not that he wouldn’t like to go on a spin with you, but when did his brain decide to unlock like this?
“You don’t look like the kind of person who owns a bike.” You are so surprised that you’ve forgotten the sadness of the conversation.
“It belonged to my family for years. It even has a name: Vhagar.”
And I lost my eye for it, he thinks, but doesn’t say.
“I very much would like to.” Your mouth says before the silly embarrassment caused by your crush can stop you.
“It is lovely plan, then!”
Your sister’s voice makes you and Aemond jump in surprise. How long was she listening? You suspect long enough, judging by the way she puts her arm over your shoulder to hug you sideways.
“I hope you have space for the desserts!” She says, dragging you towards the stairs.
“Desserts?” Comes, a bit strangled, from Aemond
“Oh, mum has overdone herself tonight!” She gleefully answers.
By the time the food is finished, Aemond feels like he could easily roll home: he is full like he had never been before. He jumps up and offers his help, when it’s time to clear the table, maybe a bit of exercise might help him and clear his head as on why it’s so easy to reach to you, of all the people in the world.
Aemond finds himself with a carton of food, near the trunk of his car. He had tried to, politely, refuse, but your mother simply ignored him and put even more food in it.
Aemond is closing the trunk, when your mum arrives with a bag of conserves and trusts it in his hands.
“I cannot accept. It is too much!” He says.
“Oh, nonsense.” She answers. “I am happy to give these to you.”
“But you’ll need those for the hotel.”
“I have more than enough stored in the kitchen there. These are the ones I use at home.”
“I can’t!”
“Yes you can.” She gently puts her hands over his. “I know how hard it is, accept a stranger’s kindness and reach out of what comforts you. But it’s worth trying.”
Aemond doesn’t believe in coincidences, but you appear in his line of sight and make a beeline for him.
“Mum? You are needed. I’ll help here.”
Your mother bids Aemond goodbye, who answers with a strange expression on his face that makes the alarm bells explode in your head.
"Aemond?" It is so strange to use his given name so freely. "Is everything all right? Or were we too much?"
His eye focuses on you, he doesn't look like a deer caught in the headlights anymore, yet his face is more animated than what you're used to see.
"Everything is fine." He says, your name follows, his voice pensive. "Your mother possesses far more insight than I thought."
You don't really understand what he's implying, it feels like he's talking more to himself than to you.
"She is an extraordinary woman."
And she truly is, to see him, for who he is, without making him feel naked and defenseless.
"Yeah-." You answer without really understanding the topic.
In silence you help him put the food in the trunk of the car, making sure nothing will be broken.
The air feel pregnant, of what you don't know, but you feel like he's going to say something and he's looking for the right words.
"About that little trip." He finally says.
"Yeah?"
"Do you still want to go?"
You don't know it, but his heart is beating so fast he's afraid it might explode.
"I can't wait. I've never ridden a bike in my entire life."
Another man would have probably said something crass about first times, he simply closes the hood of the car.
"It is the closest thing to flying you'll ever experience. You'll have fun, I promise."
"Good." There's a smile on your face. "I love fun!"
Aemond is driving home. He feels emptied by all the social interactions, yet happy, like he's not going to need to recharge, and it's a first.
His mind drifts off to Helaena and the cryptic words she's told him when he moved here, about strange twists and turns that lend to where one least expects it.
Was she talking about you? Only time will tell and, this uncertainty, doesn't scare him, for the first time in his life.
Everythig taglist: @hightowhxre
Aemond taglist: @phantoms-main-blog @fan-goddess
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Da rules
I go by Monst and I guess I’m writing again: I do read faster than I write so enjoy all the reblogs lol
I like the color orange it's not relevant, just thought I'd put it out there
Uh the bnha master list is definitely not up to date and needs a revamp (I will probably get to that eventually, someday...soon...) Speaking of it Here's the DC one
Here's the BHNA one.
Here's the Kinktober2024 one
Anyways if you're interested below is basically the what's what. Stick around if you want.
Okay cool! Let’s get to it:
All characters for nsfw stuff are aged up 18+ (If you’re one of those (Can't separate reality from fiction/fantasy) then the unfollow/block buttons haven’t moved from their location and you are free to use them at your discretion )
If you're a minor while I can't stop you from reading I will block you if I catch you interacting with any of my 18+ content posts. As a matter of fact for my peace of mind and your safety I would prefer you didn't reblog/comment on my sfw stuff too, they're are dangerous people on the internet so please understand and don't take it personally-Thanks💕
Moving on-
I’m cool with:
Requests- Hcs, Scenarios, thirst posts, Ya sending ideas and recommendations👀
For requests I might not get to all of them in a timely manner and I might not do some I’m not feeling. I write for F. Reader, GN. reader and M. Reader. Ships are cool too so you can request Character x character or poly reader- character x character x reader.-Genre: all of them tbh
I’m okay with dark content- (Dubcon, noncon, yandere, somno, etc.) and everything should be labeled appropriately. You can always ask that I tag something if it is missing. I do like a challenge/learning so even if I'm not personally into something I'll definitely give it a whirl (Kinks and or tropes)
Sfw- Fluff, angst basically anything that tickles my fancy and isn't risque or full on smut.
* In regards to requests the things I do fuck w might be prioritized 👉👈
I’m not cool with:
Scat
Underage/PDF
I'm generally cool w being uncomfortable, especially in regards to what I read or write whether it be by being grossed out or scared. I've always been ridiculously curious mostly to my determent but fiction is a safe way to explore shit so I'll give most things a fair shake in other words the sky's the limit but use your discernment⁉️
Extra:
Random shit- You telling me about your day, thoughts, opinions on whatever ig. ask for advice (trust me bro I got you✌️) or info dump👀 I love to chat.
Music! Tell me what your listening too! (Yes I'm one of those 'I listen to everything' I need new stuff to listen to)
Also! I miss the whole deviant art/Quizzilla shit so I might do a whole seven minutes in heaven thing lmao (This doesn’t belong here but scream at me about it cause I need it to happen for nostalgia’s sake)
Also, I'm kinda using this space as a chill/fun mostly nsfw diary? lmao so it's just mostly gonna be vibes :p That being said keep your fandom discourse and weirdo hate bs to yourself cause I will clown/ignore you if you come at me w some sideways ass energy. I'm just as nice as I am mean so don't try me ☯️❤️
So here’s the fandoms&Characters if you wanna request:
Mha-
Shocker, but I do have some old asks that are too good to just let’em go ya know?
Shinsou (I started this blog cause of him so.. yeah)
Villain/Yandere Deku sorry
Bakugou
Endeavour
Dabi
Hawks
Tokoyami
Shoto
Dc-
Please, please, please send me shit about Tim Drake. (Need him biblically) Literally hopped back on for him.
Jason Todd
Dick Grayson
Bruce Wayne
Selina Kyle
Poison Ivy
Joker (Nothing good is coming out of anyone requesting this I just know it)
Constantine
Diana (Wonder woman my beloved)
Amanda Waller
Cheetah
Slade Wilson…
JJK-
Nanamin
Gojo (He's like crack to me istg)
Inumaki
Invincible-
Mark Grayson
…Nolan...
Debbie
Alan!
Naruto-
Kakashi ‘blow my back out’ Hatake
Itachi
Shisui (My love)
Madara
Tobirama’s messy ass
Ask for more but these are my faves
D- gray man-
Yuu Kanda!
Tyki Mikk
Kingdom Hearts-
Riku
Vanitas
Most of the organization tbh
FF7-
All of them.
But especially Sephiroth
Any type of monster lmao
Kenji Sato lmao
You can ask for others not listed in different fandoms I just think this has gotten a bit too long
And Yeah, Let’s have fun! ^^
New Tags:
This bitch is yapping - Any asks answered or just general shit
Thirsty bitch juice - Small scenarios, thirst,
Pretty things- Art
Oh la la that’s some good shit right there- Fic recs & reblogs
On my monster fucking bs - Monster fucking lol
Lock that shit up in the basement pls- cursed asks and stuff
Uh random bullshit go! - My newer writing
And if you made it this far down here's a cookie 🍪
#Da rules#This bitch is yapping#uh random bullshit go!#Thirsty bitch juice#Pretty things#Oh la la that’s some good shit right there#On my monster fucking bs#Lock that shit up in the basement pls#ship🤌
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DPXBNHA
Aizawa uses Erasure on Danny but he just splits in two, Fenton and Phantom, like in the Identity Crisis episode. Sorry, plot vomit again
Once they're split, Aizawa's quirk works normally on both of them, but Phantom doesn't have a second form to change into. So it doesn't effect his appearance/give away his identity. And he's more ghost-like post-split. He doesn't eat, sleep, breath. (No pulse, just justice)
Queue confusion cause now everyone thinks they're supposed to be two separate people.
They think Danny was being possessed by Phantom.
I kind of think it would be fun if their powerset was more connected than it was in the show. Like: Phantom's using intangibility, so Fenton can't. And goddamnit, Phantom, that's the only power Danny registered for a quirk. He can't use anything else in front of the teachers.
Fenton is taken into protective custody by Aizawa, and ultimately enrolled in UA's hero track
With only Intangibilty registered as his quirk.
Aizawa takes Fenton in pretty quickly after the split. Phantom is considered a villain. And the pros think Danny needs protection from him. But fresh from the split, he notices a lot of things wrong with the teenager in his care. His reactions to everything seem pretty strange. Some things he should react to, don't make him upset.
So there's still a personality split.
Phantom is considered a villain
(Unfortunately, Fenton got his love of astronomy, but he knows nothing about space. Phantom's the one with all the facts and could care less. Danny didn't know he could be this annoying. In UA, after Danny admits how much he loves space. Izuku tries to bond with him about it. It doesn't go well. He thought he'd just bring it up and let Danny rant at him like he wishes people would let him do. But Izuku ends up info dumping more. Some of the facts he dumps about end up being inaccurate, cause he's a hero nerd, not a space nerd. But Danny can't explain it right to correct him. He just knows it's wrong.)
The personality split should be a little more subtle in this au than in the show. So, kinda crack taken seriously, I guess. When bnha characters finally meet both halves, it's like there's a sense of deja vu. The two are similar, but different at the same time.
Like Danny's need to protect, for example. Phantom's still the more heroic between the two of them. But both halves feel a sense of duty and responsibility.
Fenton is the one who embodies Danny's self-preservation. He gets separated from Phantom, and makes every decision he can to keep them both safe and not arrested until they can fix the disconnect caused by Aizawa's quirk.
Phantom on the other hand, has no sense (of self-preservation.) He throws himself into vigilantism without a care to the consequences he could face. And this leaves Fenton scrambling to pull some string somewhere in the background that'll get Phantom away from the heroes, or keep the heroes distracted until he can trap Phantom in the thermos.
Fenton doesn't feel the same duty to protect other people that he did before. Meaning he will pull some reckless stunts to lure heroes away, or to lure Phantom somewhere so he can trap him. And actually fix this.
So Phantom's assumed to be the villain, but Fenton is the morally ambiguous one between the two of them.
Fenton protects himself (and by extension, Phantom) while Phantom protects everyone, except himself (including Fenton. Fenton is the one person Phantom won't go out of his way to protect. He's the loophole in Phantom's obsession. Which doesn't help the misconception that he's a villain who's targeting Fenton)
Aizawa is proud of Fenton's self-preservation skills. The student who's most likely to survive and potentially retire from hero work. Or at least, that's the starting point of his view of Daniel James Fenton. He gets around to the idea that Fenton, like some students he could mention, might be pursuing hero work for the wrong reasons.
No one in UA knew what to make of the new exchange student.
On the surface level, he seemed like a perfectly average, normal kid with a lucky quirk. Bakugou fumed when he heard the new guy had a quirk that mimicked one of UA's Big 3. Intangibility.
Danny's skills with it weren't as finely polished as Mirio's...
But at the same time, Danny's intangibility didn't have the same drawbacks as Mirio's did. Whether or not that was a good thing was still up in the air. Mirio did find ways to turn his weaknesses into strengths in his time at UA. And he would make a first-class hero when he graduated.
Maybe it wasn't completely fair. But most people couldn't help but think this kid would show up and show out in ways that were just as impressive.
No one knew exactly what kind of trouble the new kid was in. But the idea that he was in some kind of trouble was obvious in how closely he was watched by the teachers.
Izuku, fresh out of the Hosu Incident, just wants to help the transfer student being hunted down by a villain. He knows he's not supposed to get involved. He's not even supposed to know how seriously this guy was in trouble. But how is he supposed to just stand aside? The guy absolutely refuses to so much as acknowledge he's being targeted. And he refuses to follow any of the safety measures their teachers put in place. He sneaks away constantly. Izuku doesn't think he's spent so much as one full night in his dorm room.
He has a sick feeling in his stomach that Fenton's rejecting any help from heroes to solve his problem alone. As a vigilante.
Just like Iida.
Fenton and Phantom still merge back into one person at the end, but before they do, Phantom will be tempted when the League shows up. Particularly when the offer to make Phantom a body, his own body (a Nomu, unbeknownst to him) is set in front of him.
This is especially tempting considering how reckless Fenton is with other people. Phantom starts getting the idea that Fenton is his dark side, and he's a better hero when they're separated. (This would contrast Aizawa, who's goal is to raise up good heroes with good self-preservation instincts. So self-preservation being a necessary skillset for young heroes would be a big theme here)
(Though, I'm kinda split on the idea of them merging back together, or saying they grow into their own people and Aizawa adopts twins. On the other hand, I like the idea of using the Phantom/Fenton split as a device to explore Danny's character, aka trauma boy. Danny has a whole host of self-esteem issues. And post-split that presents as a deep dislike of his counterpart. On both sides of the split. So, kind of a journey of self-love/learning to love the parts of himself he hates kind of thing)
Maybe Fenton even gets a little bit involved with the GIW in this au. So, they'd exist in bnha. Whether they followed Danny there or ghosts do actually exist in bnha, I'm not sure yet.
He doesn't join them. But in the same way that Phantom doesn't join the League. Danny doesn't set off the GIW's sensors unless he uses their powers. And after failing to catch Phantom for so long, he gets the idea that he needs better ghost hunting equipment.
So, his actions kind of mirror Phantom's in a way.
Phantom wants his own body to make his separation from Fenton permanent. And he's tempted with help from the League. Danny's primary goal is to find Phantom so they can merge back into one person. And he needs access to equipment the GIW has.
So I guess that would make this another "stranded in the bnha verse" kind of au. Starting to feel a little one track minded about that 😬 oops.
I like the drama of Phantom pursuing his humanity in any way but merging with his human half again. While Fenton just wants to go back to being one person.
There would probably be a scene where Danny uses cryonkineses against Endeavor in a way that leaves the man hospitalized. It's the first time Fenton does something to protect someone else. And he does it because he knows Todoroki, and knows all the trauma Todoroki has because of his father.
Phantom's never met Todoroki though. All he sees is Fenton going overboard against a pro-hero. And this would probably be the scene that cements Fenton as Phantom's darkside, in Phantom's mind. And out Fenton as someone with multiple quirks, to Aizawa and class 1-A.
If we go with the idea that Fenton and Phantom remain separated in the end, that would probably also mark the point where they start growing apart/into distinct individuals.
#danny phantom#dp x bnha#dp x mha#dpxbnha#dpxmha#my hero academia#crossover#dp crossover#boo tag#aizawa shouta
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Welcome to my blog!
Hello!! Welcome to murruspins :3!
This is a special interest blog, however it also kind of acts like a diary. I write down what I’m thinking or hyperfixating on, same goes with my regular interests! This blog will also have alot of alterhuman content, as it’s a big part of my identity!
About the owner of this blog…
My name is Murruyu! I’m a transfem enby, and would prefer if you used they/it/xe on me aswell as fem + neutral terms! If you don’t respect my pronouns, I’ll simply block you, no biggie! 🤍
My special interests are mcyt (hermitcraft & life series specifically), horror, metal music and bio! When I say bio and horror, I mean all aspects. I love horror games, movies, shows, etc. And I love all biology paths/subtypes! (Eg: wildlife bio, botany, palaeontology, and more!)
I’m the host of a minor bodied DID system, however I won’t get into that much on this blog, as this is my personal blog! However, I will talk about our physical disabilities because they impact my everyday life, and this is a diary blog after all! [I will mainly talk about my EDS and CFS]
As I said before.. I am an alterhuman! More specifically, here is a link to all my kintypes!
This list may be updated/edited in the future, but for now, these are all of my (known) kintypes! Some stronger than others. More specifically, I have a super strong connection to the feline clade, more so than my other kintypes. Obviously, due to being alterhuman, I do not identify as human. I instead identify as my kintypes, I may post about my alter-humanity frequently 🫶
I am ALWAYS looking for moots/friends!! Click here to see my interests + adult mutuals are okay, just no dms!
DNI/BYI
DNI:
• People who hate on ANY of my special interests. No offence, but you’re not welcome here, this is my safe space! [PS: being afraid of horror or animals is not the same as hating on them, if you have a phobia of something that’s completely fine! Just don’t insult my spintrest on my page 🤍]
• Anti alterhuman, Anti Age regression, Anti pet regression
• Endogenic systems, Profic/Proship/Darkship/anything that fits into that category.
• FURBY BLOGS!!!!! Furby centred blogs/Blogs with furbys as their theme/pfp dni. Moots r okay but please add a warning whenever you post them 😭🫶. I’m terrified of those little things.
BYI:
• I’m autistic, I need tonetags! If you’re going to ask anything, I’d appreciate you using tonetags so I can understand you better! :3
• Adults may not ask to be my friends, No offence, just for boundary and comfort reasons, I am a minor after all. Mutuals are fine!
• I generally do not engage in discourse, if that’s something you’d like to know before following! This blog is focused on being diary, alterhuman and interest themed!!
• This is my main blog! If I’m active, it’s probably here. But my side blogs are…
> @liostims , my stim blog
> @lovesicksyndicate , our sys blog
> @faunafeature , my animal info dump blog
… Please keep in mind many of these blogs may be inactive, as this is my main!
MOOT SPECIFIC:
• I would appreciate if you tag your posts to do with war, guns & etc to do with tw war or war. I grew up in a situation that causes these to be big triggers for me. Thank you 🫶
• If you post dead animal imagery PLEASE add a tw or cut off or SOMETHING. I know this is specific but I’ve had a moot do this before and it was actually insane. I admit I’m a bit sensitive but I still don’t want to see that
Finishing up/Extras…
. . . Emoji games!
How these games work; ask via the ask option, and write an emoji + any other info you’d like, and I’ll answer! Just a small game for fun!
🐾 , info dump about a random animal I’m fixating on at the time! (Please include if you don’t want a specific animal due to a fear, for example: bugs).
🐈 , song of the day! ask and I’ll give you a song that’s been stuck in my mind recently, or just a random song off my playlist!
🐍 , daily check in! I’ll give you a small rant about my day so far, and tell you how I’ve been recently! (I’ll try to keep it positive.)
"(Therian/biology/metal/anything related to my blog) culture is…" asks are also always appreciated!! I love seeing them, and I love interacting with people!!
Blog tags . . . !!
#murru mews 🐾 | my general tag! Diary entries!
#murru hisses 🐍 | vent posts
#murru’s asks : replies to my asks!
#murru’s rants : rants!! Either in response to the emoji games, or just to infodump :]
#murru’s playlist : anything to do with music!
#murru’s toybox : anything to do with my collections!! I collect a lot of things, so this tag will be full of things in my collection :]
#murru’s games : an additional tag, just for my emoji games!
PS: blog creation date.. Jan 30th 2024!
Thank you for reading !
. . . Enjoy your travels, dear friend!
#murru’s toybox#murru’s playlist#murru’s asks#murru’s games#murru’s rants#spintrest blog#autistic community#autistic#actually autistic#actually disabled#physically disabled#disabled#ehlers danlos#hypermobile ehlers danlos#ehlers danlos awareness#chronic fatigue syndrome#chronically ill#cfs#alterhuman#therian#otherkin#sysblr#biology#metal#music#diary#digital diary#animals#horror#horrorblr
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Wanna Join My Discord Server? :3c
If you're interested, here's all you need to know about my discord server before joining! It will be divided, but neat! This will be updated occasionally to make it accurate to the time. The link is at the bottom.
The server is safe for pet regressors, age regressors, dreamers, caregivers, flips, and little alters!
Dividers by @/softandsleepyboy
Questions Are Okay!
What Does It Have To Offer?
It has many channels, emojis, and a growing community! There are voice channels, and we sometimes watch things on there! You can also request things there, too.
It has a good support system, plural bots and plural options for systems, proper rules set up, and a good community.
What Are The Rules?
There is a strike system from 1-5, but you'll learn more when you join. It's the punishments system. Strikes can be appealed and revoked.
No homophobia, transphobia, racism, sexism, etc. at all.
No slurs. Even if you can reclaim them, this is a safe place and could make me or others uncomfortable.
Swearing is okay, just nothing over the top. (Like every sentence)
If you are caught being creepy and making someone uncomfortable, it is not okay. Especially if the person told you to stop many times.
This is a system friendly place, but please no syscourse.
No NSFW/18+ material. There are minors here!
Please use trigger warnings when using the vent channel.
Radqueer and trans-IDs aren't welcome here.
No discourse here unless in specific situations. Venting, ranting, etc.
Please be nice to anyone using screen readers.
It is okay to look for a caregiver in my server, but it is not a core aspect.
What If I Don't Know If I Regress?
That's okay!
There is a role for people to say that they are unsure or questioning if they age regress or not or simply a supporter of it.
There are still spaces for you to use even if you don't regress. ^w^
What Do I Do Since It's New?
There's many things you can do! There are channels, media and art channels, info dumping channels, and more!
I, Kitty, the owner, always take suggestions and listen. At least to the best of my ability. And if my server isn't for you, that's okay.
> Something To Keep In Mind <
I am a minor and severely disabled, I can only do so much. I do my best, but I can't do anything.
Currently, I am the only staff member. If you come in and try to get verified, I can't promise that you will immediately get seen. But I will do my best to check you out and help. Please be patient with me. ^w^
The Invite!
#discord server#age regression#sfw agere#age regressor#agere community#agere blog#agere little#sfw littlespace#little space#sfw age regression#agere
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Hello :3 i have come with yet another info dump about my OL2 OC, Mei Mei! This time in step 2! I don't have a drawing of her in step 2 YET but i'll make one soon enough, i'm still learning and i try to take it slow to not tire myself too much, but i still love to share stuff about my oc, because this is such a beautiful fandom and i love to be part of it 💕 with that said, i'll get into it.
But first, i made a playlist for Teen Meiling in spotify, if you want to, you can check it out whenever you please.
— As you can see in the image, Mei still goes by a more femenine leaning, she is sure and proud of being a girl, but she tries to keep her mind open to make sure to support all her friends during their own journey to discover themselves.
— She goes by Mei instead of Mei Mei, she thinks that only one 'Mei' makes her look more mature.
— Mei started learning chinese and german to surprise Tammy and Qiu, she likes to explore and learn about different cultures and languages, and what's better to start than with her best friends cultures? It also helps that she decided to explore her own roots, since she has chinese heritage.
— She sometimes asks Qiu's parents for cute nicknames in chinese and sneaks them into conversations just to see Qiu's reaction, even if sometimes even they get confused with the meaning.
— Just reciently, Mei discovered that she likes people regardless of their gender
— Mei changed her berets for bows! And now uses her hair pulled up or braided instead of just let down.
— She is still not a fan of noise, when she listens to music she makes sure to set it in a low volume so she can be comfortable, because despite everything she loves music a lot.
— She got into baking and cooking, so Opal taught her how to use the stove and the oven safely, now Tammy and Qiu are always the firsts to taste whatever Mei tries a new recipe
— Lately, her heart starts beating faster whenever she's near Tammy, tee hee :3
— She noticed that her two best friends have drifted off from each other, and though she still likes to hang out with both of them at once, she gives each of them their own space and doesn't force them to be together when they don't want to be.
— She likes going on silent walks with Tammy, but the forest still scare her, so she uses two of her fingers to hold onto Tamarack's clothes when she allows it.
— Mei never says it outloud, but she's content with the way her friends have changed into more reserved and calmed people, she still misses their enthusiasm, but now she feels like she can keep up with them.
— Mei is still over the moon for Qiu, but she's worried that they might not feel the same for her, same case with Tammy, so she decided to keep her feelings in control and not let them be too obvious.
— She's still a little shy, but she feels more secure about herself and has opened up a little bit thanks to Tammy and Qiu.
— Mei enjoys making little braids in Qiu's hair when they allow her to, she can play with their hair for hours non-stop.
— When she's alone, she writes love poems and letters for Qiu and Tamarack, but they always end up stuffed in a shoe box in her closet, not even close to be read by the person they're meant to.
— She spents a lot of time daydreaming, she likes to stay in home more than being out there, loneliness is a feeling she have long forgotten.
— Her relationship with Opal has turn a little complicated, she still loves her mom with her whole heart, but she doesn't see Opal as someone she can go to unless there's no other choice, Qiu and Tammy are the only people she trusts completely to keep her secrets and worries.
— Mei now gets along better with Baxter and Ren, and feels silly for having resented them as a kid, though she still gets a little jealous when Qiu hangs out more with them.
— When Mei needs quick advice, she pays granny a visit to have a little talk, she feels her as her own Omi 💕
— Mei still doesn't like school not even a little bit, but she does her best to pay attention and learn a lot so she can help Autumn later because she knows they can get distracted easily during class.
— Mei enjoys singing a lot, and has a little bit of talent with it, so sometimes she starts humming without even realizing it until someone points it out.
— Mei has a new bike, but she prefers walking, she only uses her bike when she needs to be somewhere as soon as possible.
— She likes playing minecraft, and sometimes asks Qiu to sit with her to watch fnaf gameplays because she gets scared easily (this is historically accurate i just googled it ☝🤓) she also turns down the volume of those videos.
— She still wishes she could be a cloud.
Idk if i'm missing something, i feel like i do but this is all i have for now xP thanks for reading 💕
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FairlyOddParents: New Wish OC
A Fanfiction that I'll never Make including more Art 🎨 of these Lovely Characters.
Here's the Size Different Between a Grown Up Fairy and the Kids all together ❤️
WARNING ⚠️ INFO DUMP!
Know here's the Random Info Dump of Each Character you see here 👀
Species
Fairies - Has inherent their notoriously fast healing & free-spirited and whimsical Personality including the abilities to touch Clouds.
[Left Round Fairy Wing]
Pixies - Has inherent their Square-Shaped Wings & Good with hiding their Emotions by talking in a dry, boring, and monotone voice.
[Right Square Pixie Wing]
Genies - Has Unlimited Wishes with Rule Free Magic & has inherent their Flight Abilities without needing Wings.
[Has No Legs unless she Transforms]
Elves - Got their Round Head & Short Stature while inherent their Knack for Building or Creating Anything including Fixing.
[Smaller than other Kids]
Leprechauns - Inherent their Pointed Ears & Dangerous Strength & their Extremely Protective of their Stuff & Territory including People.
[Sharp Ears]
CONDITION
• Autism - A developmental disorder of variable severity that is characterized by difficulty in social interaction and communication and by restricted or repetitive patterns of thought and behavior.
• Alexithymia - Lack of emotional awareness or, more specifically, difficulty in identifying and describing feelings and in distinguishing feelings from the bodily sensations of emotional arousal.
• Insomnia - People with autism tend to have insomnia: It takes them an average of 11 minutes longer (Or didn't get any sleep at all) than typical people to fall asleep, and many wake up frequently during the night.
Some people with the condition have sleep apnea, a condition that causes them to stop breathing several times during the night.
Sleep in people with autism may also be less restorative than it is for people in the general population. They spend about 15 percent of their sleeping time in the rapid eye movement.
• Mild Germaphobe - (It depends on the situation and what type of Germs she does not like. For example, a Classmate coughed into their hands instead of in their Arms and she offered hand sanitizer to them but they said no thank you. And now I they don't feel safe and gross out at the same time including being worried.
• Memory Difficulty - Autistic people experience specific difficulties with memory and memory strengths. While memory difficulty is not part of the diagnostic criteria for autism spectrum disorder (ASD), it is a common symptom experienced by many autistic people.
• Birth Defects - Basically structural changes present at birth that can affect almost any part or parts of the Body (Heart, Brain, Foot). They may affect how the Body looks, Works, or Both. Birth defects can vary from Mild to Severe Depending who has it.
• Speech Impairment - Has Fluency Disorder & does Stammer Occasionally.
• Trypophobia - Trypophobia is mainly visual. If you have this phobia, you might feel anxiety, disgust, and discomfort when looking at things. goosebumps, chills, or the sensation of your skin crawling. a strong desire to get away from the image or object.
OCCUPATION
• Merchandise Creator
• Street Vendor
• Mailer
• Influencer (YouTube)
• Owner Of An Entertainment Business & Hygiene Products.
(Video Games/Bored Games/Comics/Manga/Cartoon/Anime/etc. Shampoo, Hand Sanitizer, Conditioner, Lotion, etc.)
POWERS/SKILLS
• Shape Shifting - Can Transform to any Objects or Animals.
• Reality-Bending Magic - Basically Brake Physics & Logic with this type of Magic.
• Teleportation - Basically can Transport anywhere in the World or Universe.
• Accelerated Healing - Their Body heal themselves very Fast but they still can die.
[Good Thing she has Plot Armor.]
• Flight: Can defy gravity and float in the air.
• Space Survivability: Can evidently survive in the vacuum of space without any sort of protective equipment.
• Rainbow 🌈 Magic - Instead of Farting Rainbows like Leprechauns, they use it to make Magic Runes or Marks.
• Extream Luck Magic - Use this Magic to be extremely Lucky or to Protect themselves from Danger & turn bad days into good days.
• Supper Strength & Good Stamina - Extremely Strength & Run or Fly Very Fast.
• Choas Magic - Since their Bloodline is from 5 Magical Being, their Magic is Very Strong, but also it can Easily Kill themselves as well.
[She have to be Very Carful when using Magic.]
• Crafts & Builds - Their really Good at Creating or Fixing Stuff.
• Acting - Their Very Skillful of Acting so their very good at Manipulating & Tricking People, they mostly use this skill for Good & their Shows & Games they are creating.
• Immune to Magic Influence - Yup, Don't have to worry about getting mind controlled or etc.
Weaknesses
• Armadillos: The armor of an armadillo is immune to magic.
• Sensitivity - Blake's body reacts to the environment they are in Including drugs, chemicals, or other substances. For example, a person who is sensitive to the sun may have skin that burns easily or get a rash when exposed to the sun.
• Magical Build-up - Blake will explode & turns into Magic Dust if they don't use there Magic for 3 Months of Time depending on what they do, since Blake use their Magic Offten they don't have to worry plus. If they Explode that Leftover Magic could Knock Magical Being Out or make them Dizzy or a state of Confusion which is not a good idea.
(Since they don't want to get Captured or People Finding Out about their Existence & try to use them. Also the Part that they don't want to go to Magic School since the School System in their Past Life is SMOOF UP!)
Hot 🔥 & Cold 🥶 - Blake gets Extremely Weak & Tried in the Heat while the Cold they are very Active & Strong depending on what they do & the temperature in the environment.
Laziness - Blake is Extremely Lazy & Does not want to Work Hard 😑 so they usually Hire People to do it for her unless it's something she wants to do & Enjoy or Motivated.
HOBBYS
• Reading 📚 Fanfiction or Manga & Comics
• Creating Fanmade Food
• Story Telling & Cosplaying
• Creating or Listening 🎶 to Music 🎵
• Creating Video Games & Acting
• Creating Shows & Movies 🎬
• Creating Educational Shows & Video Games
• Role-playing
• Eating Snacks From Different Countries & Shows that Exist in The Fairly OddParents Universe including Plants.
• Helping Characters to have a Happier Life & Character Development to be a Better Person In The Future.
• Doesn't care what people think of them, she just loves to be themselves, & Hopefully survive from any Toxic Stereotypes.
• Having Multiple Identity & Creating New Invention With Magic.
(Made Sure That their the Only Once, who has access to their Invention including their most Trusted Friends who is their Counterpart.)
GOALS
• To Have Good Security on Everything.
• To Live a Happy & Confortable Life.
• An Extremely Clean & Safe Environment.
• Healthy Body With Good Hygiene.
• Make a Safe Workplace for Staff.
• Destroy Gender Stereotypes.
• Create Badass Female Characters & Feminine Male, characters can relate to while slowly Influenced the new Generation of Kids not not make the same mistakes from the old Generation.
• Secretly Be Extremely Rich while Having All My Money Safe 💰 In a High Quality Bank 🏦
• Make Friends While Creating My Fake PERMANENT RECORD for my Backstory.
• Change The Past & Future for the Better.
• Make Sure any Wish Timmy or other Kids make won't Effect themselves and their Friends at all just to be Safe.
DESCRIPTION
No Magical Being or None-Magical Beings knows about their Existence and only a few select people knows. ✨️ Florian Blake Harper lives in their Fanmade Country that became Reality once she got Reincarnated into their Merge AU Universe they wanted to Live in.
Blake's Home Country is called "GenvesFepre"
It kinda works Similar like "Hogwarts" we're Magical Beings are allowed to know their Existence while Muggles are ignorant.
But in this Reality, Magical Being who are Born in that Country are not allowed 🚫 to tell people outside of their Home Country. Only a Few Select People are allowed to know and can visit this Place 🏡 and Experience their Culture.
It's a Country we're Magical and None-Magical Beings are Living Together in Harmony like Humans, Fairies, Pixies, Genies, Elves, Leprechauns and Surprisingly Anti-Fairly live Among them Perfectly Fine without Causing Trouble and Living their own Lives.
If a Foreigner somehow got Accepted into "GenvesFepre" is literally a Utopia to these people because how Perfect it seems, but the problem is... it is Perfect! Since the System in Place is Flawless. NO WONDER why these people who are Born in GenvesFepre are Perfectly Happy and Content with their Lives.
Of course there's a Few Bad Apples and People who are not Content with their Lives, but Lucky the System deals with these type of People Perfectly Fine, after all "GenvesFepre" made sure the that these People who are Born in their Country are Unaware of their Perfect and Flawless System in Place, to help them Grow and Learn and Find their Purpose in Life.
But it really depends on the Person because the System can't Reform every Bad Apple or Save People who doesn't want to get Saved, since it's there Lives and Actions they Decide to make. And they have to Deal with the Karma Bitting them Back or be Sented to Death.
INVENTORY
Blake made their own Magical Phone 📱 since they don't want to pay any Bills or have anyone tracking them down, please they can change their phone to Camera Mode to take better Pictures 📸 while being able to print 🖨 Stuff Out.
It also Works like a Magic Wand, even though she doesn't need a Wand in the First Place to make Wishes come Ture, but she can use her Phone as a Wand if she wants to.
Sapphire is Lively, Vivacious, Intelligent, and Affectionate. They can make for great service dogs with adequate training and are best suited for mental and intellectual disabilities rather than physical ones.
Blake legit Befriended Star Stial because it's Cool to find another Hybrid other than themselves.
Flake's Help Deal with Yugopotamia Customers since Blake is too Germaphobe to Deal with them.
#FOPANewWish#fop a new wish#FairlyOddParents#fairly oddparents oc#FairlyOddParentsOC#fairly oddparents: a new wish#FairlyOddParentsArt#fairly oddparents art
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Waywardtale seems really interesting so far, can I get some more details?(please info dump if you have time I love it when people infodump)
OK THIS MIGHT BE A BIT MESSY BC IT'S AN INFODUMP
Also I have the designs for a lot of characters! Still working on them 💔💔
EXPLANATION!!!!!!:
So this whole au revolves around Charlie, and she falls into the mountain instead of Chara, so it's like, if Chara never fell
And she's totally freaked out by the whole situation with the monsters because she was one of those homeschooled kids where their parents won't teach them things they don't want them to know, so she has no idea who or what the monsters are. Sooo she kinda kills a few monsters out of panic-- smaller ones like froggit?
But Toriel takes her in because she feels bad and also because that's just what she does
Charlie gets used to it a bit, but still has a weird grudge, especially for the people outside of the ruins? But she also doesn't exactly know who they are, not really
So flash forward a bit, they're now angsty teens and the Dreemurrs leave to New Home because the ruins are getting way too out of shape
However, Chalrie and Asriel had a huge fight, and turns out she's developed some sort of small agoraphobia? So she ends up staying in the ruins. They would've taken her with them but she didn't wanna go because she was worried about what else might've been out there
And so Charlie ends up being the new Toriel, taking care of the ruins and what not. Yknow knock knock jokes the whole shabang, but she doesn't exactly have the same bond as Toriel and Sans. Every time she hears a knock knock joke she's like "your jokes fucking suck" and Sans is like "I think they're humerous" ba dum tss and then she's like "that was awful....tell me another". Just more of Charlie needing someone to keep her company so she doesn't go absolutely insane
But the difference in this is, humans aren't really interested in the monsters rn since the whole Asriel and Chara thing didn't happen
So no one's coming down to the mountain
And Error is like "this is a waste of space???? They're literally doing nothing it's so boring" and so he starts messing up stuff in the universe to be like "oh, whoops looks like it's defective and it's totally not my fault"
Ink ends up visiting the au one day in the ruins when he's fixing whatever Error had done and Charlie finds him and she's like "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU" and he's like "NOO NO NO I'M SAFE I PROMISE LOOK" and draws some stupid looking doodle, which is probably the worst way to plead your case
They talk for a bit, be it begrudgingly, but he has to calm her down somehow. And then he finds out she's been alone all this time and decides to become her friend to keep her company. Error finds our and is like "YOU'RE RUINING MY WHOLE PLAN ARE YOU SERIOUS" His jealous rage gets the best of him for sure, but also just normal rage, and he attempts to destroy the universe
Again
And again
And again
And it's not really working
And that's all l've got
Just Ink being friends w her and distracting her from the fact that Error is probably trying to blow up that au
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❀ ° • • • ╮ 𝖂𝖊𝖑𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖊 ╰ • • • ° ❀
18+ 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐤(𝐬) | 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭
The name's Xani, and welcome to my blog where i push out all the delusional scenarios/stories—both sfw and nsfw—my maladaptive daydreams like to stir up...
i'm not really sure how this goes, but if you guys have an idea you'd like to see written, send it, and hopefully my delusions will work in overdrive to complete them...
um, what else? i guess all i can say is hold on because i tend to bounce from fandom to fandom due to my attention/dopamine span-some range from a few days-weeks, others months, but right now i'm hooked on anime ❤️.
also, don't hold back! though i may be new to this posting stuff, i've had my fair share of experiences, so whatever you think of, i most likely dabbled in it...
and if i do a good enough job on something and have more spunk in the gunk, i'll do my best to do a continuation on whatever...
also, don't be afraid to reblog/like either! it let's me know i'm doing a good job (not that i like being praised or anything hahahah, unless 👀)
i guess that's all. bye!
other useless info: ╰┈➤ ✨ 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐞 ✨
𝐬𝐡𝐞/𝐡𝐞/𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 | 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐩-𝐭 | AuDHD / neurodivergent | 04 / 18+ | 𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗹𝗼g𝗶𝘀𝘁 | support me on ko-fi (i accept commissions/requests) other accounts: archive of our own / wattpad / quotev
check out my sister's page for more writing's like this; she does a multitude of fandoms just like I do, so it you like my writing style/fics, you'll adore her's ❤️😩: 🇰-🇳🇦🇾🇪🇪
FANDOMS I WRITE FOR **
Recent Fic: 𝐈 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞, 𝐑𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐭 ~ Install 5 | 🇨🇭🇦🇵🇹🇪🇷 🇮🇳🇩🇪🇽 | Yandere!Andy x Fem!Reader / Alien!AU
Top 6 Recent One-shots:
Resonance | various!bnha / bnha!au
Damned Devotion 🔞 | father charlie / grotesquerie!au
Father, Forgive Me 🔞 | father charlie / grotesquerie!au
Second, Servitude 🔞 | incubus!gojo (ft.geto) / non-sorcerer!au
Divine Corruption 🔞 | father charlie / non-grotesquerie!au
Scarlet Chains, Golden Riddles | kurapika / hunterxhunter!au
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And just a friendly reminder, if you prefer not to see certain types of content or are under 18, it's best not to proceed further. While I cannot fully control who accesses my work, if you so happen to be a minor who ignores this warning, and honestly, can't shame 'cuz I did the same when I was younger💀 I encourage you to read at your own discretion.
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NOTE: I do NOT have a set writing-schedule! This is just a space for me to dump my self-insert writings, but feel free to ask questions/leave comments, they make my day 😊❤️❤️.... (though if you want something specifically done/requested faster, you can support me on my ko-fi.)
Also, I will NOT be responding to malicious Anonymous/Anon asks or posts; if you do, you will receive 1 reminder of this before getting ignored. It's nothing personal—I just prefer to respond to someone whose intentions are to criticism/expect me to change to their desires. If you have genuine questions, thoughts, or feedback, please reach out so we can have a real conversation, as well as get your questions fully answered and see more about what my mind is coming up with!
If not all, the majority of my work(s) will be written with the heavy intentions of poc!reader/black!reader but can be read by any ethnicities/races. Also, please understand that anything I write is solely for my enjoyment—if anything, you guys are just tagging along witnessing my delusions come to life in real-time; if you don’t like what I create, scram and make your own…like I did 😁
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Also, and I can't possibly stress this enough, please refrain from stealing/plagiarizing ANY of my works! I am passionate about sharing my creations on this platform, but I must emphasize that I am the sole legal owner and author of any of my works posted. Any unauthorized use or plagiarism of my work will result in immediate takedown and legal action taken. Respect for copyright is essential to maintain the integrity of my original storyline and the characters within, and if not, I have zero-problems with taking them down indefinitely! Enjoy~😊
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𝐚𝐥𝐭 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: lulu-4-u | Lusion
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Daniel Jackson & Why Stargate SG-1 is the Best Show in the World
Here we go again. Listen, my obsession with this show knows no bounds and I’m going to simply have to take you through my thoughts on every character.
Strap in. It gets long.
Daniel Jackson. Linguist and ancient aliens believer (Daniel. It really is your worst quality. Even worse that YOU WERE RIGHT HOLY MOLY) and he figured out how to dial the Stargate and get it to work. A character known for his intelligence and empathy, his moral compass and being petty as fuck. A man who pushes those around him to be better people, and to think outside of themselves. Also he has allergies which plays into a very cute intro to his character in the show where Jack literally tosses a tissue box into the Stargate to make contact with Jackson. Let’s get into it.
We open season one with the SGC traveling back to Abydos where they left Daniel Jackson in the og movie after disaster struck (that disaster you may ask??? ….. I have no clue I haven’t watched it yet BUT I DIGRESS). There’s a problem. Aliens came through the Stargate and took one of their own. They need to talk to Daniel, to the Abydonians, and what follows is unfortunate.
You see, they defeated Ra in the movie, a parasite pretending to be a god, and thought they were done with this villain. Unfortunately they’re facing a new one, same shit different name: Apophis - brother of Ra. And it turns out they aren’t finished with stealing and enslaving people. Now, the genre of villain they’re against is swift, cunning, technologically advanced, and ruthless. The Goa’uld. They attack Abydos and take a young boy named Skaara and Sha’re, Daniel’s wife, captive along with the SG team member.
Ugh. Sha’re. Daniel is so sweet to her. They’re so clearly in love. Daniel Jackson has my favorite quality in a man which is that one of his primary personality traits is that he loves his wife. Ugh. It kills me that the Goa’uld took her away and he spends the next few years desperately tracking her down. The Goa’uld end up possessing both Sha’re and Skaara and it leads to Daniel Jackson rejoining the SGC and joining Jack O’Neill and Sam in SG-1.
It’s important to note a few things about Daniel here that inform me about why he is the way that he is. He was orphaned as a child, he lost his wife whom he loved very much, and he is extremely empathetic. He basically imprints on every being he comes across that doesn’t have a family and that kills me. He’s desperate for connection and he tries to understand the motives and meaning behind everything. He cares about people. He cares about culture. He cares about respecting things you don’t understand.
While we’re on the subject of imprinting, let's talk about Daniel and his friendships. We’ll start with Sam and Daniel. True science besties. I love every interaction between these two. It's like they found their platonic soulmate that they’ve spent their lives looking for. They info dump with each other, bask in each other’s intelligence and value it even when they have zero clue what the other is on about. Their friendship is pure and quick and beautiful and I can’t talk about Daniel without touching on how he quickly latches onto his friends and makes them important and how it makes his life fuller to have them. He does the same with Jack. They clearly care deeply for each other and Daniel finds a safe space in Jack. A space where he can push and be angry and ask questions and share how he feels and never receive rejection from Jack. Yes, they fight and argue and disagree but it is (typically) a safe disagreement where they’ll mend anything they hurt. Then there’s Teal’c. Teal’c, the man who is… kind of responsible for taking Sha’re from him. A man that Daniel wants to hate but can’t. Because Teal’c is a changed man. A man who had little choice. A man who Daniel has come to recognize as a friend and ally. This. This is big for Daniel.
Imagine. Your wife is taken from you. The man responsible for choosing her to take is now saying he is going to help you defeat your enemies. He lives on earth with you. He is treated as an honorable man and warrior. He is part of your team. Your everyday life. And you forgive him. You forgive because it’s the right thing. You forgive because you know it’s not his fault. You forgive because your heart is big enough to do so. To not assign blame where it’s unfair. That is Daniel Jackson. That is who he is. And fuck do I admire this in him. If it were my partner taken, life stolen from them, parasites taken over their body and using them to harm people. If I had to look at the man who chose her every day I might not be so forgiving. I might not have it in me to see a difference. This quality is something I admire because it is something that would be excruciating for me.
Speaking of excruciating things: watching Daniel’s face when someone he loves is in danger is like getting stabbed through the heart. One of the moments that sticks out in my mind is when Jack and Teal’c are trapped on a submarine that is being overrun by Replicators. Their only hope at not letting these bastards take over the earth is to blow it up, with both of them on it. Jack tells them to prepare to do it and Daniel is immediately against it. Jack takes his helmet off so he can hold the camera up so Daniel can see his face, can talk directly to him, and tells him to do it. When Daniel, in desperation, pushes again Jack reiterates that he does not want to die by the replicators. He doesn’t want his life to be over that way. Daniel has to let him and Teal’c go. Daniel eventually gives in but he refuses to look away while two of his friends die. (Spoiler alert is that they get saved at the last minute, thank fuck.)
We watch this despair each and every time one of his loved ones is in danger. We watch his expression, his heartbreak, his feelings of powerlessness. He’s desperately done everything he can to keep them safe. Daniel is not a soldier. He is an academic. He doesn’t have the training that the rest of them do. He hasn’t been taught how to handle battlefields and death and loss like they have. Watching his friends get hurt or die is so devastating for him. They are his family. Losing them is like losing everything he has left, especially since losing Sha’re and leaving everyone on Abydos. His heart holds all of them so dear.
We know he values his friendships, but what about the times he makes friends with beings from other planets? One of my favorite times is with an Unas who kidnaps him to sacrifice him. Now, Daniel spends a lot of time trying to communicate with this Unas. He shares food with him, talks, they play games. All while he’s being dragged through the wilderness to be slaughtered. He starts to understand the Unas, to learn that he has a connection with this one. Eventually this connection is what saves him in the end. Daniel even goes on a rescue mission to save this Unas when he gets captured in a later season.
Then we have Reese. Oh, Reese. I liked her. She was an android responsible for creating the Replicators, a dangerous villain in later seasons of SG-1. Daniel spends time bonding with her, learning about her, and figuring out why she made the Replicators. She was lonely. She spent her life being told she was ‘made wrong’ and that she needed to be ‘fixed’. She was sad and emotionally uncontrolled. I’m about to be annoying about this but this is why Daniel bonds so well with her. She was lonely. She wanted friends. She wanted kinship. Daniel so desperately wants these things. He’s so lonely, has been since childhood. He sees himself in her. And when she dies he’s heartbroken. It’s the first time you hear him cuss at Jack, a line that will live in my head forever: You stupid son of a bitch. Now, Jack isn’t stupid. Daniel knows this. Daniel is angry. But Jack was just trying to protect him, doing the thing he does to show his love, and it was rejected. This moment stings. It stings because of the context. It stings because of when it happens. It stings because of what happens only a few episodes later.
Daniel dies. Daniel dies because of his empathy and action. He dies protecting people. He dies. And it’s heartbreaking. Watching everyone say goodbye to him is one of the most tear-inducing moments so far. (I cried for… a long time.) Teal’c honors him in a way culturally significant to him with tears in his eyes. A man that is usually stoic and a strong silent type letting himself mourn a friend he’s grown to love. Sam cries and reminds him that she loves him and she wishes she could do more for him. He can’t even respond to her at that point but she sits with him and takes in what little time they have left. And Jack, well, he makes a joke. He tries to be serious about it but it’s too uncomfortably close to talking outright about his feelings so he makes some joke about how Daniel has been a pain in his ass for five years and despite all of that he has grown to admire the man that Daniel has become. It’s so painfully Jack O’Neill that it’s charming and gets Daniel to smile. (CAVEAT Daniel is not like… dead dead… I’ve been informed that he returns and my sadness over it is only temporary since the character will be back soon… and yet I still cried for over an hour over him.)
The worst part is that there is a chance for him to be saved. But he stops them so he can ‘ascend’ and ‘do more’. And how does he stop them? Well, he talks to the one person he knows will respect his decision, the one person he knows will let him go, the one person he knows he can trust to have the responsibility to take care of it. Jack. He tells Jack to let him go, to make them stop, to let Daniel move on. And Jack, despondent and unhappy as he is to do it, does. It is horrible to watch. Daniel standing in front of Jack, crying, telling him he’ll miss everyone while Jack says ‘yeah. Me too.’ and lets Daniel go. Ugh. It kills me. He says at some point during the episode that his life is worth no more than anyone else’s. That he hasn’t done much. He’s not done enough to help. Oh boy. He’s so wrong. He’s so unbelievably wrong it hurts. He’s an idiot. Not enough? Daniel, sweetie, you’ve given your life to this. You’ve saved civilizations, saved earth, saved Skaara, what more do you need to know that you have done miraculous things? His low self esteem hurts me here. He doesn’t believe he’s done good, that he is good. How does a man who has given his life to this cause think so little of himself? Well, I think it stems back to his parents.
Goodness. I believe his parents loved him more than the moon and all the stars. I believe they raised that boy with attention and affection and love and care and it is a damn shame that they died. It’s a damn shame they died at the same time. It’s bullshit that Daniel watched it. He watched both of his parents die when he was around 10-12 years old. He became an orphan in an instant. He went from two loving parents to the foster system in seconds. Now, he didn’t have to go to the system. He had a grandfather that could have adopted him but the man didn’t. He had a career more important than Daniel. I wouldn’t make the same choice if it were me. Hell, this little baby lost everything in a day and he needed someone. He needed love. He needed a home that was familiar. And instead of taking on the responsibility, instead of working through his anger and helping him cope you left him. My sympathies lie with Daniel here because I love him so deeply so I get angry when I think about little Daniel having a family member that could take him and instead being given up because of… what? A career? Some things are more important. (Sidenote that I am not condemning people for prioritizing themselves instead of having children… I am not ever going to have children and that is completely of my own free will and choice and wants and needs. What I am saying is that Daniel’s grandfather chose to leave him for the sake of himself and I think this rejection is where Daniel’s low self esteem comes from.)
His grandfather’s rejection is the start in a long line of rejections. Rejection from his peers, rejection from superiors, rejection from society. He finally finds somewhere he feels he belongs (Abydos) and that is gone too. In the blink of an eye. He thinks he isn’t good enough. And I think that blows. (Another side note that I think Daniel has at least ADHD if not also Autism and since I have both of those things I get really fiery about Daniel so… I’M BIASED OKAY.) He spends the rest of his life searching for connection, community, love. Hell, he even tries to infodump to Jack in episode one and faces yet another rejection of his skills and interests and I can’t help but feel like that hurts. Now, Jack does this song and dance often throughout the show with Daniel but it starts to feel more like they’re purposefully winding each other up and not like Jack is trying to hurt him. But… a different post for a different day.
Now, I won’t lie. I am super drawn to characters like this. I had a huge crush on Milo from Atlantis as a kid and Daniel is very very close to that character in a lot of ways. The floppy hair, the glasses, the nerdiness, the excitable way he talks. So… I’m a little biased… but this character… this character rules. He’s sweet and kind and sometimes so petty it makes me laugh. He’s funny and charming and GOSH I JUST LOVE HIM OKAY. HE’S STUPID CUTE IT MAKES ME MAD. But. He has flaws. Flaws that make me like him even more but flaws nonetheless. He can be one track minded. He takes things into his own hands and puts himself in danger and puts his team in uncomfortable positions because of it. He lets his emotions get the better of him. He compartmentalizes by throwing his all into things like working and solving something. He’s a great man. But he’s confused and scared and has such low self-esteem it hurts.
His flaws are on full display when he puts himself in immediate danger to stop Jack from destroying a ship that is about to wipe out a civilization that they helped get a new home for. Daniel has talked to this person, knows that he can prevent two civilizations from being destroyed, but Jack is focused on helping the one they’ve already connected with. Daniel disobeys Jack’s order. He puts himself in the path of an explosive in order to convince the other person to cease unintentionally destroying the planet in order to find another solution. While Daniel does succeed and it is the right thing he still puts Jack in a situation where he has to choose to sacrifice Daniel if he is to complete their mission and save a whole group of people. It isn’t fair. It hurts Jack, pisses him off, but Daniel isn’t putting that piece of it as his top priority. He’s putting saving two whole civilizations of history, art, and passion as his top priority. He doesn’t think past the consequences of what he’s doing.
Another case like this is in season one, The Torment of Tantalus, where they find a device that contains information well beyond our wildest dreams. ‘Meaning of life stuff’ as he likes to say. He values this preservation of history and knowledge. Even more than his own life. His one track mindedness here almost gets him killed. Jack begs him to go, tries to force him, but Daniel refuses and again forces Jack to make the choice to leave him behind and get everyone else to safety. Now, Daniel does end up following and getting out of there but it does take him a little bit of time to come to the conclusion that he does have to leave. He can’t just give up his life to stay behind on a planet about to be destroyed by a storm.
I want to touch on his pettiness for a moment because it is damn entertaining to watch him get… petulant for lack of a better word. I have never seen a man more willing to mouth off to high ranking government officials or question his bosses or down right taunt someone holding him captive. He will say some stupid joke in the driest tone I’ve ever heard and all I’m thinking is: yep this is the day he gets punched in the face. This is it. They’re going to do it. This man does not know when to shut up. My dear, sweet boy sometimes you have to SHUT UP!!! Self preservation, Daniel! Ever heard of it?!?! By far the best part of his pettiness is the looks him and Sam share when someone says something stupid. Some high ranking officer saying something stupid or derogatory? Sam and Daniel are sharing a ‘do you hear this guy?’ look. Someone being a bit too mouthy for their liking? They’re side-eyeing each other. They are true best friends. Having silent conversations with one another while everyone else in the room argues. I love their very first meeting. Sam geeking out over the dialing device while Daniel watches her like ‘who is this and why is she literally the most amazing person I’ve ever met’. Them interacting that whole first episode is just the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. They are best friends, your honor. I cherish them.
Daniel, above all, is the definition of what it means to have a found family. His was taken from him and he spends his life finding a family again. The great thing is that he does find it. He finds it and he holds on so tight. I’m still working through the seasons of Stargate but Daniel is an interesting and beautiful character. He’s traumatized and sad but he’s also wonderfully complex and still learning.
If you haven’t watched Stargate consider this: the found family trope runs rampant here. There’s plenty of content to watch, plenty of relationships to explore, and plenty of things to be said about this show. Plus, you could write some damn good fic about it if you wanted to :)
#Daniel Jackson#Stargate sg1#sg1#Stargate spoilers#this show was released the year I was born#I am the age that Michael Shanks was when he did season one of Stargate SG-1#just think about that for a second#also all the gifs of daniel are cute#i didn't even SCRATCH THE SURFACE OF THIS CHARACTER HOW IS IT 3000 WORDS LONG#anyway watch stargate sg-1#i have a slight crush on daniel jackson shut up#i like them smart and opinionated#I could go into a whole other thing about how he's never afraid to push back but another post another day#this is already too long#ily ok bye#i have raging adhd#Stargate Analysis
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