#but I know it probably isn't good so 😔

[yoyomomiko]

omg you should definitely talk more about marking daisuke and the other way around 🙂‍↕️ i would love to mark him up

Pairings: Daisuke x F!reader

Warnings: BITING; marking, hickeys, SUGGESTIVE (nsfw but not fully, so I guess mdni??), praising kink, small mention of dirty talking, small mention of bottom, submissive and soft dom Daisuke, cringe, not proofread, probably contains grammar mistakes, english isn't my first language!!

(A/N): I was so embarrassed to write this but like UGH I'm obsessed with Daisuke so badly rn it's insane😣 Also I'm so sorry this is kinda short and rushed😢 -> m.list

★MARKING HIM

You have to hold a hand over his mouth, he won't shut up. He's whining and making so many noises❗

He's not really that much into you marking him, but he surely won't mind one bit

Leave a trail of hickeys and watch him PANIC.

He's so scared that somebody (Swansea) is gonna notice, and then scold him and also possibly you too😔

Imagine the look on his face while he realizes you left marks

IMAGINE PRAISING HIM WHILE YOU'RE NIPPING AT HIS SKIN THOOO

"You're doing so good for me," "Shit, mm, uh-huh..."

Sitting on top of him in one of your rooms and kissing him, leaving dark red marks trailing from his neck to his chest

He doesn't know how to cover them up, you gotta help him🥲

Like, he's gonna have something around his neck and when Swansea asks about it he's like

"Oh, you know, fashion."

He asks you not to mark him too high up because he's scared😔

Overall he enjoys it, not too into receiving from you but if you like it then he's all for it🙌

★MARKING YOU

Boy oh boy😍

When I tell you to get ready, to prepare yourself fully, then do it. Take a break, stare at the invisible camera for a second and then go back to reading.

UGH Daisuke is so fucking IN FOR IT

He loves loves LOVES giving them to you, he's so into it, it boosts his ego to see you all marked up by him🙏

Will gently kiss your skin before completely BITING into you, leaving so many dark purple marks over your neck and shoulders

Thinking about sitting on top of the desk in the utility room while Swansea is having his lunch break, making out with Daisuke, his lips all over your skin, leaving hickeys everywhere (might write a fic about this)

If you let even the slightest noise escape your mouth, he's gonna take it as a "go on"

Bottom Daisuke this, Submissive Daisuke that, WHAT ABOUT SOFT DOM DAISUKE??

Imagine just cuddling with him at night and he just buries his face in your shoulder. You think it's a cute gesture until you feel a slight sting and realize he's nipping at your skin (also might write a fic about this)

He's gonna gently kiss the hickeys he left on you to soothe you, he's just sweet like that😋

If you like it, TELL HIM.

"Am I doing good?" "Yes, very good-"

You can barely even talk because he's digging his teeth into you so much

He's gonna ask if he's doing good in between kisses just because🫶

Did I mention he's not big on dirty talking? I mean, he does it accidentally sometimes, but he just cringes whenever he tries.

BUT HE'S BIG ON PRAISING SO😝

CALL HIM A GOOD BOY WHILE AT IT

Will also leave full on teeth marks, just a heads-up, he's a vampire❗

Overall he likes giving marks more than receiving

"It's not accurate, that's not how Daisuke would be!!" idc these are MY headcanons so shoo😠

★yoyomiko ★miko

[doctor-disc0]

If this gets 50 notes, I'll work on 1 wip

If this gets 100 notes, I'll publish that wip to ao3 (and post a link here)

If this gets 500 notes, I will resume working on my ginormous wip that will be 20+ chapters, and I may even post snippets of what I have so far

If this gets 1k notes, I'll try fixing my sleep schedule

If this gets 5k+ notes, I will buy the medicine I probably need but have decided to live without for some reason

Watch as this gets 0 notes lol

[daz4i]

i know aging isn't the end of the world and 24 isn't that old and life isn't a race etc etc etc. however,

[satoruxx]

thinking about since canonically Geto is more popular with girls than Gojo he’s gotten used to them looking past him to get to Geto but what if Gojo and Geto are out for drinks with the other teachers one night and he gets approached by the reader but he thinks she’s just coming over to ask him for Geto’s number and so he prepares his ‘responsible best friend’ act and then SHE ASKS ABOUT HIM INSTEAD, ALL BLUSHY AND STUFF BECAUSE HE LOOKED LIKE HE WAS GONNA BRUSH HER OFF

AHH I LOVE HIM SM 😔😔😔

pairing: gojo satoru x reader | 1k words summary: fluff, pining, reader is a simp but same, satoru is a good wingman but he needs attention too, au ig bc suguru's alive LMAO, idiots in love? rheya's note: oh my god shut up this is so cute and YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT??? i can just imagine that he's gotten so used to judging whether or not the person is even worth suguru's attention before deciding to pass on his info...and after a while his brain just defaults to thinking that everyone wants suguru but he FORGETS that there are gojo girlies out there (me asf) !! thanks for the ask nonnie babes i love this idea so so much <33

OK SO

it's obvious that there are quite a few women at the bar eyeing the group. young, attractive teachers spending an evening trying to relax and take their minds off of the stress of jujutsu work. nanami is in deep conversation with shoko about something while ijichi quietly listens. further down the table utahime is quietly sipping her drink while mei mei orders another. shoko makes a comment and suguru bursts into unabashed laughter.

the flush of alcohol dusts over each of their cheeks, but satoru remans the only one who has barely touched his glass, the sting of the bitterness a little too harsh for him to enjoy. he opts for instead letting his eyes roam over the faces in the crowd, taking little notice of all the eyes and smiles sent in their direction.

well until he notices you anyway.

you're already looking in his direction curiously, face illuminated by the dim lighting of the bar as your friends giggle around you. when his eyes lock with yours, you immediately tear your gaze away, trying to play it off by immediately delving into conversation, though satoru can tell that there's a flush crawling up your neck now.

he doesn't look away though, too caught up in the crinkle of your eyes and the smile lines that grace your face as you laugh at something. a minute later you're looking back in their direction, and when you catch him staring, you turn away yet again.

satoru glances to his side, knowing that you're probably watching suguru take a sip of his drink and most likely falling for his charming smile.

typical and so predictable.

some time passes like this. you'll look, and turn away, and satoru will watch you do it over and over again. it isn't until a while later that satoru catches your friends pushing your shoulders and giggling, and he knows that they're urging you to come up and ask about suguru. you're shaking your head, the nervousness clear as day as your brows pinch. but eventually you succumb to peer pressure and stand up from your table, taking anxious strides towards him.

and usually, satoru will make a face or turn his back or do something to look as unapproachable as possible. because almost every person who comes up asking for suguru's contact info has been obnoxious as hell.

but you're quite pretty and you look sweet enough, and he doesn't think it'd be right to deter you.

suguru would probably like you too.

so satoru decides to let you try at least, and if you seem to be as nice as you look maybe he'd bridge the gap between you and his best friend.

you make your way up to him, and as soon as he finally gets a good look at you he's thinking you're a lot prettier up close.

dammit.

"hi," you say, face hot as you try your best to maintain steady eye contact with him. you look so nervous, fidgeting with the fabric of your clothes as you attempt to strike up conversation, and he doesn't have it in him to watch you struggle.

"yeah i can give you his number," he says, voice clipped as he tries to hide the disappointment in it. you watch him grab a napkin and begin scribbling something down, confusion clear as he hands you the digits.

"um…?" you look at the napkin and then at him. "sorry, whose number is this?"

satoru balks, lips parting as he mirrors your confusion. "uh…suguru's? the guy behind me?"

realization dawns on your face and you shift your weight from foot to foot.

"oh actually," you suck your teeth nervously, trying to hide behind an awkward little smile. "i came to talk to you."

satoru can only blink, cerulean eyes widening behind his glasses as he stares at you in surprise.

you take his silence as a bad sign, shoulders dropping and embarrassment settling in your frown as you look anywhere but his face. "s-sorry if that's weird. i don't wanna make you uncomfortable or anything so-"

he's grinning before he can stop himself, heart dangerously swelling with affection as he motions toward the empty stool next to him. "not weird at all."

the pleasant surprise on your face makes him bite back a chuckle, and you take the seat. "huh...i wasn't expecting you to be okay with it."

satoru raises a brow curiously, tilting his head. "why not?"

you shrug with a careless grin. "i had a feeling you were gonna brush me off from the moment i first looked over."

satoru winces, and he can practically feel suguru's knowing smirk on his back. he chooses to ignore that for now, eyes trailing over the mirth in your expression, and he can only smile helplessly. "no way in hell."

your laugh comes instantly, sweet and bright, and you take it as a sign to continue talking. satoru listens on, sipping his drink to hide his giddy smile and ignoring the sting of bitterness once again.

honestly, with the amount of sweetness he's just found, satoru would tolerate as much bitterness as he needed to.

[yeahxsurexokay13]

bragger, lando norris

summary: fans constantly tease yn for always bringing lando up and being a bit of a simp for her boyfriend - which only gets worse after his first f1 win - so she writes a song about how if they were her they'd do the same.

warnings: none i think??? but let me know if i missed any. the song mentioned is 'bragger' by kelsea ballerini!! (((:

IN HONOUR OF LANDO'S VERY FIRST WIN !! 🥇

y/n.updates

Liked by fan22 and 1.340 others

y/n.updates Y/n's interview with WIRED where she answers the web's most searched questions about her is now out! Go give it a watch 😄

view all 208 comments

fan1 she looked painfully beautiful in this

fan2 how was lando in the answer for questions like 'does y/n speak spanish?' or 'is y/n a good singer?' lol

fan7 she said she didn't remember much from high school but knew some words lando had been taught by carlos sainz and that her boyfriend tells her she is... it kind of isn't that weird if u think about it haha

user1 The more I see of her, the more I like her

fan7 i spy with my little eye 1.6K people with no taste

fan3 interview was everything I hoped for and more! she's hilarious and relatable as always

fan4 new drinking game: take a shot every time she mentions lando

fan5 I've watched it like 5 times already lol

fan6 we need a tally for how many times Y/n drops 'Lando' in her interviews. can someone make that happen?

y/n.y/l

Liked by carlossainz55 and 1.890.321 others

y/n.y/l the vibe i bring to the function (ugly crying on facetime) !!! so incredibly happy for you @/landonorris. you did it 🧡🧡🧡

view all 3.501 comments

y/n.y/l also congrats @/oscarpiastri and everyone else at mclaren for an amazing race ((((:

oscarpiastri thank you Y/n! 🧡 ❤️ by author

landofan4 ok this is very cute and nice of her🥺����

fan1 ARE YOU STILL CRYING ? BECAUSE I AM DEFINITELY STILL CRYING

y/n.y/l started crying on lap 54 and haven't stopped since

fan2 new post from my fave lando norris fan account yay (also go lando!!!!!!)

user1 Well deserved 👏🏼👏🏼

landofan3 soy lago

y/n.y/l same

lnfour LFGGGG ❤️ by author

fan3 How many times do you think Y/n's going to mention Lando's win in the next week? Taking bets now

maxfewtrell It's the messy hair and smudged mascara for me

y/n.y/l knew i should've gone for the 'perfectly composed while crying' look instead 😔

landofan1 rip lando nowins: 2019-2024 ❤️ by author

landofan2 "you were scared? i wasn't. i was ok (laughs). thank you. i love you" lando 🥹🥹🥹

fan5 when did he say that? omg

landofan2 f1 posted a reel on their profile and you can hear him talking to her!

mclaren LANDO NORRIS IS A FORMULA 1 RACE WINNER 🏆

y/n.y/l I AM SO NOT CALM ABOUT THIS ??!!?

user2 i could've sworn i saw her at the race? why are they facetiming?

fan4 they could barely speak after the win tbh! this is probably a call in between interviews

user2 today's bottle smash hit different ❤️ by author

landonorris I've said this like a million times already today but I love you so much

y/n.y/l i love you i love you i love you i love you

y/n.y/l

Liked by pietra.pilao and 1.809.896 others

y/n.y/l if he was yours, you'd do the same without apologising... new single 'bragger' out now!!!! 💋💋

view all 3.890 comments

fan6 WHAT HAPPENED TO HWLLO ?? HOW ARE YIU ??

y/n.y/l 🫢🫢

fan1 "he's just too damn good not to mention" .....................i mean she is right we'll give that to her ❤️ by author

landofan1 USING THESE SPECIFIC PICS OF LANDO TO ANNOUNCE THE RELEASE OF A SINGLE ABOUT BRAGGING ABOUT HIM IS WILD !!!!

landofan5 that last video is doing things to me.........

landonorris i'm confused does anyone know who this is about?

y/n.y/l no idea 🤷🏽‍♀️ but let me know if you find out xx

landofan4 apparently about some guy named bob?? I'm not sure

fan8 HAHAHA I LOVE THEM

fan2 she really wanted to make sure she'd made her point clear with this dump omfg

fan3 her point: she has a hot bf and we don't

user1 Well played, Y/N. Well played. 🥸

fracisca.cgomes On repeat ❤️❤️

y/n.y/l lindaaaaaaa ❤️

landofan2 knowing all she's saying is about lando makes the song x1000 times better

fan7 so she saw the tweets... 😐

y/n.y/l i saw everything 👀 they were actually hard to miss hahaha

user2 "i understand why you would want him (i don't mind)" queen behaviour !!!!!! 👑👑

fan4 So this is how she gets back at us for all the teasing lol not complaining at all

landofan3 I can't believe this new song is actually inspired by the fans' teasing about Lando!!🤣

fan5 we joked, she delivered!!! bragger is actually a banger👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[cxffecoupx]

cheol as a girl dad

girl dad! seungcheol fluff, a little smut (i tried) warnings: reader has a womb (obviously), mentions of pregnancy, body insecurity, sex (only a little) word count: 747 author's note: a little late but I had to do it for daddy cheol😔✊ very self-indulgent, not proof-read, made very hastily cause again, daddy cheol😔✊ hope you enjoy!! do lemme know what you think of it :) check out 'cheol as a boy dad' here.

girl dad! cheol who absolutely melts in the hospital room when he sees his baby girl. who combusts into a puddle when he gets to hold his beloved baby in his arms. who pats your head and kisses you in your tired, exhausted, post-delivery state, murmuring how proud he is of you and how thankful he is that you gave him his most precious baby.

girl dad! cheol who whenever she cries at night, calmly tells you to go back to sleep and rushes over. you think he's allowing you your rest, and while that's true, it's mostly cause he gets to spend more time with his baby.

girl dad! cheol who spends so much time with his baby, it's concerning. you end up wondering if you even exist, but the simple truth is he just can't get enough of his babygirl.

girl dad! cheol who you find making out with you at the most random of times. when you're in the kitchen, cooking dinner. when you're working from home. when you're folding your baby's clothes. you both end up all over yourselves, he's kissing every inch of your body. the same body you cried over during and after your pregnancy. the same body you'd end up being so insecure about, about the belly, the extra fat, the breasts and hips, the stretch marks and the mood swings.

he kisses you to make up for all the time you couldn't because you both were taking care of your beloved baby. he kisses you to let you know how much he still loves you. he kisses you to tell you how he still finds you attractive, even with the stretch marks and extra fat and the lot. he kisses you, and you feel every emotion and every message of his that's being communicated silently yet surely.

girl dad! cheol who loves and hates it when his little babygirl starts to grow. watching his daughter start crawling, then standing and later walking, it suddenly dawns on him that she's growing up fast and isn't his baby anymore. that doesn't stop him from smothering all his love though.

girl dad! cheol who loves loves LOVES to tie your child's hair in ribbons and dress her up in cute dresses and make her wear sparkly shoes. who accidentally ends up taking away from you the joy of dressing up your child, but you don't mind as long as you get to watch them giggling and joking during those times.

girl dad! cheol who comes up to you at the most randomest of days and continues to thank you for bringing into this world someone who he cherishes so much. and although he apologises for not spending as much time with you, he promises to make sure you realise that there's no one else he'd rather do all this with.

girl dad! cheol who cries when your daughter has to go to school for the first time. probably more than the girl herself. you end up having to kiss his pout away. whether things escalate from there is upto how he feels at the moment.

girl dad! cheol who fucks you dumb some nights, a desparate need to put another baby in you. he moans stupidly about how proud he is of your first pregnancy and how he'd love to see another one too. you definitely don't mind cause the sex is obviously too good.

girl dad! cheol who swears he heard his heart shatter when his babygirl tells him about her crush. sure he understands, but to realise that she now has another man in his life??? he's speechless (and dramatic).

but he's also the one who loves to hear the little tidbits and gossips about her school, and who gets giddy along with her when she tells him how her crush finally noticed her. he's also the one who buys a tub of icecream in the middle of the night, when she's heartbroken. her best friend and her protector, all in one.

girl dad! cheol who's happy whenever he thinks about his two favourite girls. who's thankful for all that him and you went through, and for his little bundle of joy, who made him a thousand times happier, if that was even possible. who's forever proud of you for your struggles and of your daughter for basically everything. who realises with every father's day wish by his daughter and his partner that he wouldn't have this any other way.

[mclqren]

UNFORGETTABLE ★ CL16

PAIRING ✦ charles leclerc x fem!gymnast!reader

SUMMARY ✦ after attending one f1 race, you simultaneously manage to embarrass yourself in front of and impress a certain f1 driver [ SMAU ]

WARNINGS ✦ cursing

REQUESTED ✦ here!

NOTES ✦ for the purpose of this fic, the reader is going to represent america in the olympics for gymnastics. i made the reader have a private insta account for this fic & a main, just to fit in with the 'private life' aspect. the fc i've used is isabela juliana, but feel free to picture whoever you want! my requests are open so feel free to leave a request :)

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liked by yourbsf, simonebiles, and 237,901 others

yourusername flowers are the key to my heart 🔐💌

view all comments

user1 STUNNERRR!!

user2 if the whole gymnastics thing doesn't work out, you could literally have a career as a model because damnnn!!

user3 the flowersss 🥺🥺

user4 is she going to the olympics this year??

user5 yess!! can't wait to see her 💗💗

simonebiles my girl wowwww 😍😍

yourusername my lover fr 💓💓

yourbsf GORGEOUS

yourusername LOVE YOU!!

liked by yourbsf, simonebiles, and 124 others

yourfinsta sushi night & trying to figure this f1 shit out before this weekend 🍣😱

view all comments

yourbsf SINCE WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO WATCH F1

yourfinsta HAVE I NOT TOLD YOU

yourbsf NOOO???

yourfinsta FERRARI INVITED ME AS A PADDOCK GUEST SO I GUESS IM GOING

yourbsf you better message me ALL ABOUT IT

yoursibling you're the luckiest bitch alive.

yourfinsta yeah except i know NOTHINGG about f1 pls drop by my apartment and teach me ☹️

yoursibling fine fine im on my way

yourusername

( caption one: about to moveeee ✈️ | caption two: i apologize in advance for my limited formula one knowledge 😔 )

liked by yourbsf, yoursibling, and 201 others

yourfinsta third slide is me after embarrassing myself in front of one of the most good-looking guys alive?? i swear i knew his name i just panicked when someone asked me 😭

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yourbsf HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW WHO CHARLES LECLERC WAS

yourfinsta YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND IT WAS SO EMBARRASSING ESP WHEN HE BROUGHT IT UP AGAIN LATER??

yourbsf he brought it up AGAINNN?? oh he likes you.

yourfinsta NO HE DOESNTT HE WAS PROBABLY JUST AS EMBARRASSED AS I WAS.

yoursibling the caption??

yourfinsta it's a long story. i'll tell you when i get home

liked by charles_leclerc, simonebiles, and 301,121 others

yourusername i had such a good time w ferrari this weekend: thank you sm for having me!! (ps. yes i do know who both drivers are 🤣)

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user9 the caption 🤣🤣

user10 you have to praise the girl for owning her mistake!

user11 STUNNERRR

user12 so why isn't she training then...

user13 ppl are allowed to take breaks - leave her alone!

user14 the flowers are so on y/n's brand

user15 righttt!! she's so spring i can't explain it

scuderiaferrari it was lovely to have you with us, y/n!

yourusername thank you for having me! ❤️❤️

user16 okay but why couldn't they have chosen someone who knows about f1 instead of someone random girl off the street?? like at least pick someone who's WATCHED the sport, and knows the drivers names.

user17 tons of people who haven't watched the sport get invited all the time. she said when she was there that she didn't have too much knowledge on the sport, but wanted to learn more about it, hence why she accepted the invite. she said she forgot their names momentarily because she was panicked by the larger crowd, so maybe leave off her for a minute! 💓

yourusername

( caption one: back again 😴 | caption two: thanks for the gift 😉 )

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, and 292,102 others

yourusername another crazy weekend later...🏎️

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user22 she's so luckyyyy wth!

user23 TWO F1 RACES IN A ROW?? WOWWW SOMEONE'S POPULAR

user24 AND THE HAT? it's def charles asking for her

user25 the outfitttt wow 😍

user26 she's literally so pretty

user27 STAY AWAY FROM CHARLES

user28 girl what.

charles_leclerc the bag 😉

yourusername yes yes you bought it for me thanks babe 🤣💓

user29 A GIFT? 'BABE'? WHATTTT

user30 WOAH WHAT IS THIS

liked by charles_leclerc, yourbsf, and 280,111 others

yourusername back to training at last 🤸‍♀️

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user31 back to your rootsss!!

user32 my fav gymnast

user33 WE'VE BEEN WAITINGGG i can't wait for the olympics

user34 SAME!!

user35 wowww she's stunning!

user36 is this charles' girlfriend then or-

user37 nope! nothing's been confirmed right now - they might just be good friends!

simonebiles YOU ARE EVERYTHINGGG!!

yourusername I LOVE YOU 💗

charles_leclerc i could do that 🤣

yourusername fighting talk from someone who drives around in a car all day!

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 1,894,012 others

tagged yourusername

charles_leclerc turns out the key to heart is to actually just buy her flowers 🤷‍♀️❤️

view all comments

user42 MAMA Y PAPA

user43 UR SO REAL FOR THISSS

user44 DAMN Y/N IS BEING SPOILTTTT

user45 AS SHE SHOULD BEEE!!

user46 POWER COUPLE ALERTTT

user47 gymnast x f1 driver is NOT a trope i was expecting but i love it!!

yourusername the flowers are the only reason we're together.

charles_leclerc WHAT

yourusername wish i was kidding, i'm just a sucker for nice flowers 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

yourusername ALL JOKES ASIDE im so grateful 💗

landonorris barf 🤮

yourusername call me when you get a girlfriend x

user48 SHE'S FRIENDS W THE PADDOCK TOO??

liked by charles_leclerc, simonebiles, and 381,229 others

tagged charles_leclerc

yourusername it's no longer acceptable to forget your name anymore ☹️💓

view all comments

user49 MY NEW FAV COUPLE ON THE GRID

user50 im OBSESSEDDD

user51 pls call me if he fumbles you ☹️

user52 NO REALLL im always here y/n ❤️❤️

user53 THE THIRD SLIDE PLEASEEEE

user54 love a woman who's obsessed w her man 🙏

simonebiles if he hurts you im always here (to date you)

yourusername my ACTUALLL wife 💍💍

charles_leclerc im so lucky ❤️

yourusername you mean you're lucky i liked the flowers.

charles_leclerc you're still on about this??

yourusername YOU THINK IM JOKING?? flowers are my life. i would die for flowers. it's the only reason we're together 🤣💗

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[headcanonenthusiast]

Valeria Garza NSFW headcanons. 

This was made with fem readers in mind.

Also quick note, I apologize in advance if this isn't as detailed as my headcanons on some other characters. It was definitely harder for me to come up w/ stuff for Val, especially bc girlie is nowhere near one of my favorites (I'm sorry 😔) but what better way to expand on writing then doing headcanons of characters you rarely think about? So, without further ado, I hope you enjoy! 

(I completely understand that this type of content is not everyone's cup of tea, and that's ok! But, please scroll and ignore if this type of content isn't your thing as opposed to leaving any sort of negative comments.)

NSFW under the cut.

-THE brat tamer.

-Absolutely will not take your shit if you disobey her in any way, shape or form. 

-"What did you just say to me? Do you have any idea who you're talking to?" 

-Gets this look of absolute disbelief on her face if you dare to act like a brat, then her eyes turn dark and she's suddenly dragging you to bed. 

-"I'm the woman who decides whether or not you get to cum every night, querida. And if you're gonna keep acting like a fucking brat, then it looks like you won't get to cum for the rest of the week." 

-Her favorite forms of punishment include anything to do with orgasms. Whether it be edging you, overstimulating you or even denying you the right to cum entirely, she loves making you squirm and beg to release. 

-Shakes her head and clicks her tongue, as if you begging to cum is the most ridiculous thing she's ever heard after you've misbehaved. 

-"Oh, so now you're sorry? Chica, a sorry isn't going to cut it. I warned you about acting like a little brat, but you didn't listen. You never fucking listen to me." 

-Proceeds to lecture you and switch between degrading you in English and Spanish as she either forces a strap down your throat or harshly plays with your clit. 

-"Perra estúpida. Never listening to me and then acting surprised when I don't let you cum." 

-Will also partake in bondage, cuffing up your wrists to the headboard before she runs a vibrator painfully slow over your pussy. 

-As rough as she is when it comes to sex, if you're genuinely feeling upset about something, her gaze will turn more sympathetic (which she refuses to show to anyone besides you.) 

-"What? What's wrong, amor?" 

-And you're welcome to tell her about all of your troubles while she gently eats you out. 

-Probably has multiple straps. Prefers buying the thickest one possible but she does have one that's much longer for when you really piss her off. 

-Is very willing to spoil you with new sex toys and lingerie. Anything to make her pretty girl happy. 

-Also, I feel like she'd switch between wanting to see you touch yourself and not letting you at all. 

-When she's not there with you, she probably encourages you to masterbate and send her tons of videos of you doing so.

-But, if she's actually there and catches you touching yourself, it won't be pretty. 

-"Oh, can I not satisfy you enough anymore? Is that it?" 

-Then she fingers you so well your legs are shaking as she rants. 

-"Look at you, cumming just from my fingers. What a slut."

-"And you really thought you could make yourself cum the same way I do? No, no, estás loca por pensar eso, querida." 

-She wants anything sexual to be completely dependent on either her or toys she picks out for you. 

-In other words, very dominant. 

-In other other words, if you ever asked or God forbid tried to make her submit, you're a dead woman. 

-"Thats it. You're getting too fucking bratty for your own good. Get over my Goddamn lap right now if you know what's good for you." 

-And when you are on her lap, she'll switch between spanking your ass and spanking your pussy. 

-Leaves hickeys on the most visible spots on purpose. 

-Smirks when you get all shy about it, gently brushing your hair away as she chuckles. 

-"Don't worry, amor. I won't make the marks too visible." 

-But then she does, so she buys you the prettiest necklace with her name engraved on it as an apology, and another reminder of who you belong you. 

-Some translations for the Spanish stuff, chica = girl, querida = darling, perra estúpida = stupid bitch, amor = love and "no, no, estás loca por pensar eso, querida" = no, no, you're crazy for thinking that, darling. 

(Also I apologize if anything in Spanish is incorrect, online translators can only get you so far 😕)

Look at me go, writing about a character I don't even like and am not even attracted to because I'm straighter than a wooden ruler 🙃

This was honestly fun to write though! Valeria takes up like 0% of my thinking space, so coming up w/ headcanons for her when I barely remember she exists nor am attracted to her at all was a bit more challenging. Hoping y'all enjoyed this! 

Rudy NSFW headcanons r coming up next, so be sure to lookout for those in the near future 🤭

[tizeline]

Giggling at the fact that Donnie probably has a lot of only child habits like only getting food for himself and eating it Infront of them and getting genuinely annoyed if they try to steal some. Astonished when they borrow anything of his without permission (WHO MOVED MY PENS?!). Being genuinely perplexed when one of his chores gets done randomly 😭

Poor Donnie isn't in on any of the inside jokes probably 😔

LMAO yeah I've been thinking about Only Child Donnie a lot XD

For example, Donnie having no idea how to differentiate between normal sibling bickering and genuine fights. After Raph starts hanging out with Donnie and Leo, he'll get to see way more of that classic sibling bickering in action. And considering Leo's tension with the rest of his family during this time because of the whole Dark Armor incident, he'd worry that Leo and Raph still feel some actual resentment towards each other. Leo and Raph are arguing with each other to the point they start play-wrestling and Donnie is all like "shit shit what do I do they're gonna hurt each other" and the next second Leo and Raph are laughing at random some joke and Donnie is just left confused over the whole interaction because what even was that?? Weren't they mad at each other just a second ago??

I will say though, me and my sibling weren't the type to just share each others stuff freely. Well, we did when we were young, most of our toys we both played with. But maybe because of that we got a bit possessive over our own stuff as we got older (we also shared a room until I was like 10-ish, so we were probably both a bit desparate to become separate induviduals at that point). Point is, if my bastard of a sibling even DARED to step foot into my sacred abode (my room) without my express permission, they would be forced to face my unbridled fury (I'd gently beat them up with pillows)! And if they were to steal as much as a single pencil from my treasury, my wrath would lead me to even more drastic measures (I'd snitch to our parents)!

That being said, I have no idea how The Drax Bros behaved regarding this when growing up. IF they were the type to just yoink each others stuff constantly (which I definitely think is possible) you are completely right that it would drive Donnie up the wall if they did the same to him XD

In my experience and from what I've observed with others, when you have siblings close in age to you, you tend to develop a very intense obsession with everything always needing to be 100% fair and equal. For example, if you're cutting up cake and your siblings piece is as much of a millimeter wider than your own piece, it's basically the end of the world. I can see Leo and Donnie sharing a pizza and afterwards Leo's all outraged over Donnie getting more pizza than him. Donnie's confused cuz they each got an equal amount of slices, but then Leo accuses Donnie of getting all the SLIGHTLY bigger slices and as such got a LITTLE bit more pizza than Leo! Completely unfair!

Actually, Donnie being a math nerd would be good at measuring food in this scenario, his brothers would constantly try to get him to divide any food they're sharing to make sure it's as even and equal as possible. Donnie quickly gets tired of this, but the alternative is the other turtles all arguing with each other over who gets which piece which is even more annoying so he just goes along with it lol.

And oh yeah, Donnie definitely feels quite left out whenever his brothers joke about or even mentions something they did growing up that he did not get to partake in (little does he know that his brothers feels similarly whenever he and April do the same thing and references stuff from their shared childhood that they did not get to be part of)

[yoyomomiko]

AAAA we seriously need more Daisuke x reader fics (|||´Д｀)

May i request something fluffy for the boy? (-ε- )

Drift to Sleep

Pairings: Daisuke x F!reader (gender isn't mentioned)

Summary: You've been having trouble sleeping properly, maybe your boyfriend will help out with that.

Warnings: a bit cringe, not proofread, probably contains grammar mistakes, english isn't my first language!!

(A/N): I'm sorry this is so short!!😔 Btw just to throw this out here I wish Jimbo didn't exist. -> m.list

You dragged your feet on the ground, rubbing the exhaustion from your eyes as best as you could. Your eyelids drooped down, threatening to shut completely over your eyes and lead you to sleep.

You can't remember the last time you've had proper sleep ever since you stepped foot on the Tulpar. You've had trouble staying awake, yet you couldn't even take a nap.

You don't understand why you can't sleep for more than two hours. Seriously, you keep waking up in the middle of the night, either by nightmares or simply because fate has other plans for you.

At least you had Daisuke.

The way his smile would click something in your brain and instantly power you on, matching his energy. He could easily brighten up your day, even when you felt dull.

"Good morning!" Daisuke beamed, immediately grinning as he saw you entered the room.

"Morning..." You muttered, forcing yourself to smile back, barely managing.

"Not 'good'?" He tilted his head to the side, noticing your tired expression.

"If it was good I would be sleeping." You mumbled in a flat tone, taking a seat next to him.

"What's wrong?" He asked, genuinely concerned at the way you were so drained out.

"It's hard to sleep... I don't know why or how, I just can't." You explained, furrowing your brows. "I'm tired, but I just can't..." You added, gazing in front of you as you zoned out.

Daisuke only gave a head nod in response, smile faltering for a bit. He didn't like seeing you in such a state, he just had to figure out how to make you feel better.

"Maybe you can get Anya to check on you." He suggested, gently wrapping an arm around your waist loosely to keep you closer to him.

"It's not worth it... I'll just waste her time." You replied, closing your eyes but to no avail. You knew you had work to do, had to force yourself to stand up and do your chores. It was just so hard...

୨୧ • ★ • ୨୧ • ★ • ୨୧

You turned in your bed from side to side, forcing your eyes closed as you tried to control your breath and count sheep, hoping that you'd fall asleep that way.

You tried every sleeping method you could think of, but none of them have worked so far. You figured out you could just give up and walk circles around your room to exhaust yourself even more.

Just then, you heard a soft click, and then a creak coming from the door. Light came in through the crack, revealing Daisuke's smiling face.

"Daisuke? What's wrong?" You asked in a hushed tone, sitting up on your elbows to look at him. You squinted your eyes due to the blinding light as Daisuke made his way into your room and shut the door silently.

"I can't sleep either." He shrugged with a big, dorky grin on his lips. He started walking towards you with light steps, just so that he's not being too loud to alert any other crew member.

"So... Why not try to fall asleep together?" He suggested, silently making his way over in your bed as it shifted under his weight.

You chuckled at him, watching as he layed down with open arms, waiting for you to throw yourself into him so he can cuddle with you.

You shook your head, pulling the blanket over the two of you as you placed your head on his chest, throwing one of your legs over him as his arm wrapped loosely around you.

His body was so warm, the embrace you two were in felt heavenly, and you certainly didn't want to pull away from it.

You felt your eyes close themselves, feeling Daisuke's chest rise up and down from his soft breathing.

You could hear the way his heartbeat was increasing, his hand gently rubbing circles on your back while you were slowly drifting to sleep under his touch.

If you knew it was this easy, you would've done this from the start.

★yoyomiko ★miko

[pilfappreciator]

Been seeing lots of Bruce x Reader content which is fine! Great even! But I've seen absolutely NOBODY acknowledged the existence of his fine ass muppet wife so I went ahead and DID IT MYSELF 😤😤😤

Bruce/Brandi x Reader

Includes: GN! Reader, polyamory, lots of MILF/DILF appreciation (as there should be), Vacay Lovers

🧡 Chances are you first met them while visiting Vacay Island. Bruce welcomed you with open arms and that charming attitude of his, got you nice and situated for your stay. Eventually he introduced you to his lovely wife Brandi and the kids

💜 The couple warm up to you pretty quick. You've got a great personality, you never hesitate to help them out around the island, their kids adore you (not to mention you're pretty cute)

🧡 These two are honestly couple goals. Literally soulmates. They're super devoted to one another and its pretty obvious to everyone around that they're meant to be. I mean they literally have a gaggle of kids so yknow they're in it for the long run

💜 THAT BEING SAID!! It'd probably be a while before you three actually got together

🧡 Bruce and Brandi only have eyes for each other (at least at first). Introducing someone new into the relationship probably wouldn't even occur to them unless they got to know that person really well, and even then there'd still be long discussions between the two about whether they're really ready for that kind of change. What it would mean for the relationship, how it might affect them, their family and business, ect.

💜 These two never half-ass things. Both are the type to pour their entire souls into what they deem important so if you're gonna be with them, then you bet your ass that it's gonna be for the long haul. The three of you WILL retire and grow old together okay they will PERSONALLY see to it

🧡 But eventually, after you've known them for a year or two and once they've both come to terms with how they feel about you?

💜 BABES PREPARE TO GET SWEPT OFF YOUR FEET

🧡 These two are the perfect team (comes with co-owning a business and running a family ig)

💜 After years of being the heartthrob of BroZone, Bruce is an expert at putting his natural charm and good looks to use. This man is constantly making time to come over and strike up a conversation. And I think it's universally agreed that the guy is not shy or subtle once so ever, so expect a lot of compliments/winks/charming smirks thrown your way. This man is fully leaning up against the wall beside you, giving you that signature Casanova Smoulder(tm), all while telling you how he and Brandy are planning to add french fries to the bar menu

🧡 "But it's supposed to be a surpise until then so let's just keep this between the three of us. Okay, beautiful?" He says with a wink, raising a finger and briefly pressing it against your lips

💜 You probably shouldn't get so flustered over French fries... unfortunately Bruce is sexy and knows it 😔

🧡 Brandi isn't as on-the-nose as her husband but that doesn't mean she's any less effective. She managed to snag someone like Bruce afterall so you KNOW she's got game

💜 Definitely gives you just as many compliments and praise but she's very like... very nonchalant about it?? Like the two of you will be mid convo and she'll just randomly go "wow you are literally so gorgeous haha. Are you sure you're single?"

🧡 You have about five seconds to respond before she's moving on and telling you all about how one of her sons keeps getting stuck in ketchup bottles

💜 It's kinda hard to tell if she's actually flirting with you. She's pretty laid back compared to her husband and at certain times she seems like a bit of an airhead, so whenever she says something nice, it tends to come off as a casual compliment...

🧡 But then there are times where she'll like? Brush a strand of hair outta your face, or wipe some food from the corner of mouth unprompted, or point out a piece of jewelry you have on by running her fingers over it?? Her skin grazing your own just the barest amount??? All while she's giving you that look??????

💜 This woman is sneaky as fuck ngl

🧡 Expect to hear these two gush about each other on the daily. They are CONSTANTLY hyping each other up whenever they're apart (they're in love what do you expect?), but when you've got the BOTH OF THEM in front of you??

💜 They are a well-oiled machine. You are absolutely getting tag teamed by this duo. By the time you leave their company expect to be red in the face and your heart skipping a few beats

🧡 You get invited to a LOT of family meals. Mostly dinners, but sometimes lunch and even breakfast too. And believe me, there is no such thing as a quite meal with this family. They have 13 chaotic kids who are always getting into shit so expect to come outta the whole ordeal with a few food stains on your clothes

💜 look out for Bruce Jr. cuz that kid will for sure try to start a food fight

🧡 Bruce and Brandi are always super apologetic about any messes that occur (they know first hand how exhausting their gaggle of kids can be), but then you just smile and seem genuinely unbothered? Maybe even amused by it all??

💜 "Babe what's their ring size?"

"Brandi, honey, pretty sure we have to at least take them on a date first."

"I'm just asking for a friend!"

"...Am I the friend?"

"You know you are, babe."

🧡 Yeah if these two catch you hitting it off with their kids and showing a genuine interest in their hobbies/interest/lives?? They are SWOONING, vows are being MADE, rings are being CHOSEN—

💜 If at any point you recognize Bruce from BroZone, or if Brandi brings it up in conversation in an attempt to boost her man's rep, then prepare yourself because Bruce will most definitely start putting on a show

🧡 Under normal circumstances he'd be wayyyy more hesitant. Performing anything from his past doesn't bring up the best memories... but he's willing to bust out a good bop if it earns him brownie points in your book (and it better considering that his wife is always telling him how hot he looks whenever he's doing his "boy band thing" lol)

💜 OUTINGS WITH BRANDi!! This woman is taking you shopping or out to the nearest cafe/restaurant that just so happens to serve your favorite, what do you know! Sometimes she brings you along to meet her friends, all of whom are well aware of your existence wink wonk

🧡 Will swoon and fan herself whenever you offer to pay for things, but like as a joke!

💜 (not)

🧡 Chances are the kids already know what's up with the three of you. Maybe it doesn't click immediately but Bruce Jr. notices that how his parents treat and act around you is the same as they treat and act around each other, he goes blabbing to his siblings and soon enough they're all in on it. They don't entirely understand the complexity of the situation... but they're aware that one extra parent potentially means more presents for christmas sooooo

💜 These little shits are mischievous as hell. They are asking you what your favorite color is just to subtly drop the answer while Brandi is out shopping for trinkets. You mention what kind of music you're into and suddenly Bruce is looking up playlists

🧡 You better believe all 13 of them have started a betting pool going about who will confess first, you or their parents.

💜 Brandi's friends might be in on this betting pool. The other vacationers too

🧡 Eventually (after lots of pining and a fuck ton of patiently biding their time), Bruce and Brandi decide to take the leap and invite you into the relationship

💜 They invite you to dinner. It is a WHOLE ordeal and they've been planning months in advance. The kids are off being babysat by one of Brandi's friends (both parties were suspiciously cool with this sudden course of action). Their business is put on pause with little complaint from their customers (again, suspicious)

🧡 You're immediately drowned in compliments the second you show up at the door. You could legit just be dressed in your pj's and they're like "wow those sweatpants really make your eyes pop 😀" sjsjskakaka

💜 You are being waited on hand and foot the whole time. Bruce is manifesting every ounce of romanticism he can— flower petals everywhere, candles are lit, he's got a ukulele tuned and ready for when he eventually serenades you. Meanwhile Brandi has cooked you a feast made entirely of all your favorites and is tucking little flowers into your hair every now and then. At some point she hands you a cute piece of jewelry she saw while out shopping the other day. Just a little somethin somethin that immediately made her think of you <33

🧡 Overall, dinner is going great! The three of you are having a blast in each other's company and it's refreshing to be able to have a conversation without worrying about rambunctious kids or another pink eye outbreak. The atmosphere is quite yet intimate. Their hard work is not going to waste. You are thoroughly wooed

💜 And just when dessert is about to be served—

🧡 "We think you're really hot."

"Wha— BRANDi! My song!"

"Hmm? OH, was I supposed to wait till after—?"

💜 Yeahhh they kinda fumble the confession ngl. You'd think they'd be smoother but they are both: 1) very excited, and 2) very nervous

🧡 Nevertheless, their point gets across. For a moment they kinda panic because of how quite you are afterwards, but really you're just? Absolutely flabbergasted?? These two hotties wanna date YOU??? FR??????

💜 Of course once you manage to form a coherent response (hopefully a positive one), the couple is literally over the moon

🧡 Brandi's flapping her lil muppet hands all excited like "OMIGOSH THEY SAID YES?!"

💜 And Bruce is just smirking and all like "of course they did, honey, did you seriously think they'd say no to the two of us?" all while simultaneously releasing the death grip he had on his ukulele (this man is a fraud)

🧡 Victory dessert follows shortly after. Your hands become absolutely useless for the next few minutes because these two are DEFINITELY TAKING TURNS SPOON-FEEDING YOU AJSHAKAKAKA

💜 The night ends with the three of you hanging out on the couch, either with Bruce serenading you and Brandi or the three of you just cuddling in a pile (probably both ngl)

🧡 Cue the next morning. The kids come back just to find you all fast asleep in the living room, you in the middle with their parents on either side

💜 Pictures are 100% being taken

I love these two a lot, could you tell?

Thinkin about doing a PART TWO!! Lemme know what you guys think 👀

[ne-nene-ne]

♡ How to gain the dragon's affection ♡

-> things you can do to make this handsome fae weak in the knees

malleus x reader (fluff!)

Wear or carry the things he's gifted you!

Whether it's a necklace, bracelet, or even a mini gargoyle statue, have it on you! Malleus will beam with pride when he sees it on your person. I feel like he's a bit of a possessive person, so he'd love seeing you dressed in the things that he, himself has chosen and gifted you.

Indulge him in his passion for exploring ruins and his love for gargoyles!

If you show even the tiniest bit of interest in gargoyles or ruin exploring, you will see Malleus' eyes light up immediately and he will begin talking about it for hours. Please allow him to do so. Not many share his passion or are interested in these types of things (if at all), please listen to him ramble on. Heck, join the Gargoyle Studies Club! Give this dude some company because he's pretty much the only member there. 😭 And look, he's aware that not everyone is interested in the same things he is, but if you at least put in the effort to listen and try to understand, he'd be a happy fae

Include him in your activities!

We already know how much of a complex he has towards being invited/uninvited, so if you constantly make it a point to include him in whatever you're doing, he will feel loved. I don't think he'd be picky about what kind of activity you'd be doing. He'd be open-minded to whatever it is. In fact, he'd try to find possible ways to make it easier on you if it's a difficult task. If it's an artsy/creative activity, like painting, there's a chance he'll either be pretty good at it at first try, or he'll end up making a bit of a mess. I also don't think he'd mind much of this either, even if he did end up looking silly. He would laugh it off heartily and probably be like, "How interesting...!" He's curious about your ways and is very much willing to learn. His adoration for you will just increase if you try to teach him

Help him raise his tamagotchi!

He absolutely loves his Roaring Drago and so if you offer to help him "raise" it or offer to watch over it whenever he's busy, he'll fall more in love with you. Not only will he feel closer to you as you both nurture the little creature, he might even begin to see a future with you and your own little ones (if you ever had that in mind) and oh, how he knows how much he'd love that life dearly if it was spent with you.

Share that full-sized cake with him!

This one is oddly specific but as seen in his profile, Malleus dislikes full-sized cakes because he tried eating one entirely by himself 😅 (ofc he wouldn't feel great afterwards). You might be met with a resistant attitude or sour face from him (out of instinct) when you bring out that whole cake, but show him that it isn't as bad as he thinks when he shares it with someone. Maybe he'll like it! And if he doesn't, well then you guys can smear the leftovers on each other's faces and have a bit of fun!

This poor boy has just been left out on a lot. Make him feel welcomed, wanted, and loved and he will adore you forever 🥺❤️

a/n: not really proofread tbh but it was a fun one! I might just turn this into a series and do the same for other twst charas. I'm thinking of Azul or Leona next, hmm

And OKAY so I originally posted this on @lyneira (my brand new writing blog) but my posts on there aren't showing up in the tags yet so I guess I'll still be posting some of my writing here until tumblr allows them to be seen 😭 somebody pls interact with my new blog so that tumblr doesn't think I'm a bot 😔

[tan1shere]

Please please pleaseeeee (literally begging) make a drabble of all the ways Miko enjoys fucking us 😭 i just know she puts it downnn

How Miko Fucks You

A/n: Sure thing nonnie 😁 I hope you enjoy this, sorry if it isn't the best 😔

Warnings - smut ! || masterlist

◇ I feel like her love language is definitely physical touch, so she has to be holding you in some sort of way while she fucks you. Whether it's your waist, your tits. Just anywhere on your body.

◇ she gives off the vibes that she is really passionate so I feel like sex is more intimate than anything, but she can definitely fuck your brains out. And she does it good.

◇ her favorite position is probably missionary, going back to that more intimate statement, that's the best way she enjoys fucking you. Her second close favorite would definitely have to be doggy tho. Seeing it all from behind drives her truly crazy.

◇ shed most definitely talk you through it, her accent peeking through from time to time, even speaking to you in Spanish. You didn't care if you couldn't understand her alot of the time. The way she spoke to you just got you wet regardless.

◇ she's definitely a tits girl, so when you guys fuck thats one thing she gravitate towards. It be either squeezing, sucking, biting. She loved them, loved worshiping them.

◇ Miko's forever giving you hickeys in visible places and in secret places. She adored the thought of everyone seeing you as hers, but enjoyed the secrecy of those special ones littered on your lower stomach, your thighs, under your tits.

◇ when she fucks you softly ~ its always after a cute date, or whenever you guys are in a softer mood. Everything's so delicate when she touches you, kisses you. Her kisses are passionate still carrying the softness with them. Her thrusts are delicate but definitely powerful sending you crazy. She definitely takes her time, but not to tease you. To savor the moment making it just that more special.

◇ when she fucks you hard ~ she has no mercy, she will rail you til your in tears. I have a feeling she's a soft dom, but if you rub her up the wrong way she won't stop til you're a shaking mess. She is definitely into restraints, keeping you from doing anything as she fucks you. I just know this woman is a choker. Her sexy hand around your neck as her strap slides in and out of you. Watching your face contort into pure pleasure. I think she'd degrade you in a way that's mocking but soft || "awh baby are you crying like a little bitch." - "come on Mami, don't be so slutty." - "you'll get what you want, but only good girls beg huh? ... are you a good girl?"

◇ with aftercare she's incredibly affectionate. Bringing you closer, treating you with such care, cleaning you up. Making sure you drink water and get some sleep. She truly is a sweetheart and will think of your needs before anything.

[softenkiss]

breakin their heart (pt 1)! yandere knights of favonius ଓ

tw. yandere, obsessive + posessive behavior, delusional behavior, clingyness, stalking, kidnapping, drugging, rumors & being pressured into things (reader)!

notes. rewritten based on the old post (which has been DELETED,, rip 😔 dw though the others are still privated) enjoy loves (and i hope you like this style of my writing!!) ♡

jean:

oh boy. she does NOT take it well. she's literally like :(( the whole time.

girl is trying her hardest to stay calm but it's hard 😔 the love of her life is literally leaving her,, how can someone not expect her to freak out?? she's trying her damn hardest to convince u to stay. it's her busy work schedule isn't it? she'll make time for you, she swears!! you can even stay in her office as she works if it's not possible. just don't go...

(jean doesn't come to the conclusion that no, her work is not one of the main reasons why you're trying to break up with her. it's her freakish obsessive behavior. and no, she probably won't ever come to that fact either. definitely gaslights herself and goes right back to thinking that her load of work is the main and ONLY reason why ur trying to leave).

when the words leave your lips, she's shaking. blunt and icy, jean's not used to u sounding so cold! her hands are trembling and she can't bear to look at you, drowning your words out because archons...she bear to look at you right now. she already knows that she'll break down into tears and start sobbing pathetically.

keeps quiet and most likely let's you leave with only a few pleading words. you deserve someone better, someone that actually has the time to love and care for you, but by the gods...she couldn't (and wouldn't) let that happen! you both belong together, even if you don't seem to see it.

(which is totally understandable, she gets it, she gets u! she'll be better just for you <3)

overloads herself with work, paperwork mostly. duties related outside remind her too much of you. she'll pass by windrise and literally start bawling (that tree over there was the same one where u both had you're first date!). the other knights are extremely worried about her, and it's not too hard to put the pieces together.

(lisa walked into her office once to her literally sobbing while holding a picture of you in her arms,, her sadness is very easy to see)

some of the knights try (maybe even forcefully hint at it too? they're desperate) to get you back with jean,, coming into ur house and informing you of her behavior. if that doesn't work, jean will...eventually take things into her own hands.

gifts and a overwhelming flow of letters sent to you are her ways of getting you back! ur door is practically loaded with stuff and you always end up tripping over something when you walk out the door. her gifts are sentimental and always (attempt) to alick a memory back into ur head.

(the pink roses she leaves you brings up the time she made a whole garden just for you, or the fancy set of jewelry u once mentioned that you wanted. she has a good memory and writes anything you mention you want down in case she forgets <3)

if you even show the slightest bit of fondness in her gifts/letters, jean immediately takes this as you wanting to get back together. and boy,, does she start amping her efforts up to 100%. i can see her also starting to act a little better and the other knights are just like 'jean seems to be getting better! we should try to help out so she's feeling better again!' and start pressuring you again. they, along with jean, are very persistent and won't stop until you get back with her :))

amber:

thinks ur very silly and just kisses your cheek! just another silly moment from her darling partner, you're hilarious! it'll take a while to convince her otherwise that no, you aren't being 'silly' right now and that you want to break up with her because she's an obsessed weirdo.

(and to stop trying to tickle u in an attempt to make you laugh. because she will definitely bounce on the fact as soon as she sees you start to crack a smile. she knew you were joking! you're smiling and everything!)

and even then, after showing her that you actually mean it, she's...laughing. it's strained and slightly nervous, but she's laughing. her lips twist into a (fake) smile and she justs itching to grab you. ur arm or anything! you have to be joking...right? her smile will widen into a grin that makes you uneasy, though u stay quiet.

opposite of jean completely, doesn't even try to hide how upset she is. just starts clinging into ur arm and begging and pleading for you to stay. oh archons, you can't leave her, please! please, don't go! please...? she begs of you...

you'll literally have to drag yourself back home with her clinging onto ur leg /hj. she will NOT let you leave omg 😭 on a serious note though you could probably just push her off (u gotta use your muscles her grip is tight as hell 😔) and just leave her there sobbing. she'll get over it, amber always does! it's for the best for both of your sakes (...mostly for ur sake though).

amber comes to work looking a MESS. eyes puffy and hair all frazzled. everyone's worried for her and wondering what happened, and soon she just starts sobbing again. she's misses you so much and will literally start crying in the arms of whoever embraces her first 😭

once the knights are informed of the situation (because unlike jean, amber can't help herself and spits out everything),, they're going RIGHT to u. you think you're about to be arrested one day when two knights are at your door but they're literally just there to get you back with her lmao

girlie is a mess without u. she can't eat, sleep, work, nothing. all she can think of is you and it's just so hard to get out of bed 😔 she will...someday with the pursuit of getting you back! yep, that's what she'll do and she'll do it well!

boy,, she does NOT leave you alone for even a second. she's all over u and literally acting as if ur still dating. she's buying you gifts, food (tons of food, lots of food), and even writing you letters (even if she's not...all that good at it- she's trying her hardest, okay??). the knights are also helping her too because seeing the energetic outsider so depressed is not something they want to see :(( ...atleast they care??

give her a inch she takes a fucking MILE. thanking her for paying for your food? you obviously want her back omg,, it's a sign!! she's squealing and literally so happy and ur just trying to enjoy the food and just 😐🍕

(she knew you wanted her back!! she just needed to court you again and gain ur love back! she promises she'll never make the same mistake again, she swears!! she knows how much u hate her popping into ur house unannouced and stealing your stuff so she won't do it! ...as much)

kaeya:

woe is him and he is woe... 😔

he's just so hurt, heartbroken even. the love of his life is breaking up with him, just leaving him as if the relationship between you both wasn't anything. he's just so sad,, sniffle sniffle...

...

seriously, though. he's just :)) throughout ur whole breakup speech. you'll be going off on how u noticed he's been stalking you and the way hes been distancing you away from ur loved ones and he's just grinning and shit.

obviously this pisses u off because he's just taking this so...nonchalantly?? archons,, you can't stand him! u walk out steaming and he can't help but grin and watch you walk away. he's confident, that's for sure. like he knows you'll come back.

but how wrong he is, because unfortunately (for him) you don't! he watches you even before the 'break up' and he's watching you now,, and you seem so...relaxed. happy, even. better off without him in your life.

(this won't do at all. don't you know u mean so fondly to him? don't you know he can't live without you? your disregardment for his feelings really breaks his heart, y'know?)

has a very particular plan on winning u back up his sleeves,, just you wait :)) it'll all start with him being so kind and gifting you things you know you want (or need), and being a corny lovey dovey letter writer (shakespeare wannabe). this'll last for a good month or so and if he sees no sign of process,, it's time for the other part of his plan!

(he obviously has layers to this. this is you he's trying to win back, he's gotta put in all the stops!)

this...is the part where things get a little messy for u 😬 he necessarily doesn't want to,, but his other plans revolve him doing worser (hint! hiding you away is one of them!), so this is for the best for both of ya, okay?

people are going to start avoiding you. with some, it's sudden. with others, it's slower, but it's not unnoticeable. it's strange, because you don't remember doing anything wrong to anyone, but everyone's avoiding you! ...except your little secret admirer (who really isn't so secret,, he signs all the shit he's get you proudly 😇)

and who's behind all this weird behavior from the people in mondstadt? well give it up for ur ex, kaeya alberich! he's a snotty little weasel,, and you have a inkling feeling who the perpetrator was (and ur right!! kaeya thinks your a very smart cookie!!). confronting him won't get u anywhere honestly because he won't admit to it, he has nothing to admit! ...unless you get back together, of course :33

it's all up to you really. facing the rumors with ur head up high and avoiding him won't get you much anywhere as he'll just end up snatching you away after a while (he loves and hates how mentally strong you are sometimes!). and giving up will just have you back in his arms, which was he wanted from the start! he won this little game of urs fair and square!

lisa:

she's drugging your ass lmao

joking...kinda. she's not going to start pleading and begging for you to say, though she's obviously going to be upset. she has emotions, can't you see? she's frowning so deeply 😞

lisa doesn't want you to leave her. she loves you! if that wasn't obvious with how keen she is of having you all to herself and throwing off potential rivals in pursuit of u, then she doesn't know what is! won't you atleast share a cup of tea with her first, just before you go?

(DON'T drink the tea. it's drugged and you will fall asleep before even finishing the cup)

and hey, even if you don't wanna relax with her for the last time, then you both can still be friends right? or atleast hang out possibly? she's rather persistent but it doesn't come off as clingy/pathetic because she's just rather calm about it all. and unlike kaeya, she's not faking dramatics and just let's you leave.

(obviously,, this is all just ruse to get u back into her arms. she's saddened, really. she truly is. she truly didn't expect for u to see her...darker behavior but she always knew you were a smart cookie <3)

will give you a week or two before she's slowly inching back into ur life. she'll give you a small wave, a quiet hello, etc etc. it's little things really. short conversations soon start happening again and she'll just ask u how ur days going, that sort of thing. she just wants to see how her favorite person is doing! nothing wrong with that, hm?

it'll slowly come to the point where she's offering you to share a cup of tea with her, just like when she tried to break up with u. you can obviously say no, but she'll still want you to take this special batch she has!! it's rather tasty and it's good for calming the drinker down <3

...

liar.

you'll end u stuffed somewhere. it's cold, so extremely cold and ur night clothes aren't much help (she did say the tea was for calming, and u really couldn't sleep that night!). ur obviously scared, but that immediately turns into frustration as soon as lisa appears and tells you her whole plan. tell her that she lied about the tea being for calming and she'll literally just tell you that it wasn't technically a lie! you were still relaxed in your last moments in your home, weren't you? 🙂

(situation will end up the same even if you don't end up taking in the little baits she set up so perfectly for u to take. she didn't expect you to be so smart! she'll just have to go into your house with the key u never took back from her and put something in ur drink, easy peasy :))

[sashayed]

"why would king charles commission this portrait" listen man idk but as someone born inside the spiked crown of the death machine, as someone whose kindergarten classmates were the heirs to the american empire, i suspect that the very privileged cannot imagine how to take responsibility but DO want to tell you that they know they should. sometimes powerful people want to believe that acknowledgement is as good as atonement, or that recognition is as good as reparation. the "sry 😔" of royal portraiture. i think plenty of the old men who pilot the dragons gnawing the heart of the world are HOPING to dissolve into a fine red mist. i think they know that fading into their own bloody ancestral legacy is probably the kindest fate they can ask for. they are glutted and exhausted and full of flesh and they know it's their turn to be eaten, but still, they'd really rather you do it symbolically. "look at this painting, isn't that enough? isn't that what you wanted? will you please stop being so angry now?" edit of course also he might simply be very stupid

[copperbadge]

Hey Sam!

I recently purchased a second hand bread machine, and I know you like to bake! (I got King Authur's Flour per your recommendation.) I was wondering if you have any recipes or tips and tricks for bread making? I don't have an oven in my apartment so sadly that's not an option for me 😔

Without an oven, a bread machine is a great acquisition! You can often also make rice, oatmeal, and sometimes even yogurt in a bread machine, depending on the model. If the machine didn't come with a manual, try googling for it, or googling the model name and "recipes" to see what else people have done with theirs. It's great you bought KA flour, because materials really do make the difference -- good flour and yeast are key. Freshness can matter with yeast so buy something with a long expiration date, and keep the yeast somewhere cool, dry, and dark.

For bread making, there are two main things I always think about: you are nurturing yeast, which is a living thing, and you're forming gluten (presumably, if you're not cooking gluten-free). The yeast wants to have food and be warm, so you want to use pretty warm water (most machine recipes say something very specific like 115-125F or similar, but it should be warmer than your skin and not so hot it hurts your skin, that's how I measure it). Sugar helps feed yeast, so often there will be sugar or honey in a recipe even if it's not a "sweet" bread. If you're using older yeast, adding a bit more sugar can help it work. Meanwhile, protein helps support gluten formation, so milk or milk powder are common ingredients often listed as optional but which are very helpful. If you have a stove, you can even make milk bread, which is one of the best, fluffiest kinds -- google "hokkaido milk bread" for recipes. Nearly any bread recipe that doesn't have a super long rise or need to be shaped can be made in a bread machine, but often (especially on the King Arthur site) a recipe will include special tips for adjusting it for a machine.

Specifically for bread machines, the bread can stay warm in the pan for a bit, but the longer it cools in the pan the more likely it is to form condensation, which leads to moisture on the surface of the crust in contact with the metal. That dries out pretty quickly if you leave it out for a bit, but moisture reduces the shelf life of homemade bread a LOT (moisture feeds mold). Your best bet is to remove the bread as soon as it's cool enough to handle -- it used to be the hardest part of making machine bread was getting it out of the damn pan, but they may have gotten better since I had one -- and wrap it in a tea towel or leave it out to cool completely before putting it in a package of some kind. I used to keep mine in the fridge because without preservatives it can mold quickly. These days most breads I bake included a few spoonfuls of King Arthur Bread and Cake Enhancer, which is a mild preservative and worth every penny -- it makes the bread softer, with better crumb, and it stays good for longer. There are other brands you can get cheaper on amazon, probably, but I've only ever used KA so I can't speak to their efficacy. It's generally not sold in stores.

Okay, two last things: one, I always put the bread machine on the floor when I was making bread in it, because it rocks back and forth a bit when kneading and I have had machines "walk" off the counter before. The floor or a wide table are best. Two, bread is difficult and even a machine for making it isn't perfect, so you may fail when you first start out. Even if you don't fail the first time, you may not get a good loaf at some point, and that's the nature of yeasted breads. Don't take it personally -- and don't give up! After a while, you start to notice if something seems "off" but it takes time to learn that sense.

Happy baking! I hope it goes well for you.