#but I just saw that they want us to use a minimum of 20 sources!

[raspberrybluejeans]

:(

[bustedbernie]

I wrote this story about meeting Joe Biden as a reply to a comment a couple days ago. Several of you asked me to share this as its own status and given that he's accepting the Democratic nomination tonight, I'm happy to oblige. This is why I'm supporting Joe Biden and Kamala Harris for President and Vice President of the United States of America: --- I met Joe for the first time while he stood next to his son's flag-draped casket in Dover. I thanked him for raising a son with the character of Beau because when Beau as Delaware attorney general successfully fought to pass a trans rights bill, he was fighting for people like me. Despite being exhausted from spending hours greeting well-wishers, Joe rested his hands on my shoulders, looked me in the eye and said, "We mean that. *We* mean that.* He then kissed the back of my right hand and gave me a hug. Two years later in October 2017, when I was tied dead-even in the polls against a 26-year incumbent, Joe endorsed my campaign and donated from his PAC, which gave us a huge momentum surge right before our first GOTV dry run. On Election Night 2017, when 19/20 precincts had reported and I was just waiting on Prince William County absentees, my phone rang. I answered it and the person on the other end asked if I would like to speak to Joe Biden because he wanted to talk to me. He was the one who broke the news to me that I won and that we changed what's possible in American politics. He told me he remembered meeting me that day in June 2015 when he, as the sitting vice president of the United States of America grieving the loss of his son, was willing to tell a trans woman her rights were worth protecting. When I finally saw him again in person the following year in 2018, when Joe saw me, he walked directly over to me. He remembered who I was. He gushed over how proud he was of everything we had accomplished in Virginia, especially since we were able to expand Medicaid to now 452,000+ Virginians and counting, which was made possible under the Affordable Care Act that Joe was tasked with shepherding through Congress. Then in 2019, when everyone assumed my race was safe and I didn't need help, everyone started turning me down for help. It might not mean much the first few times it happens but after months and months and months of it, it starts to freak you out as a candidate when you're on the verge of not being able to afford to execute your full campaign plan for the final six weeks. Joe didn't forget me. He was the *only* national politician who endorsed my re-election campaign, the *only* one who took the time out to help down the home stretch. There is no national, state or local politician with whom I agree on every issue. I'm the only member of the Virginia General Assembly who shares my voting record, which is the way it should be. I could pick apart every single national presidential candidate who ran this year and identify their flaws and sins of the past -- all of them. Not one of them was or is perfect. But the thing is, I don't expect perfection. I don't expect to agree all the time and definitely know there will be policy positions taken, votes cast or statements made that are really, really hard to accept because they'll hurt people. What I'm looking for is someone who's learned, someone who's as close to honest as there is, and someone who's genuinely trying to do what they think is best while working to make our country more inclusive. With his platform that includes a $15/hr minimum wage, a genuine commitment to infrastructure, prioritization of the Equality Act and a Medicare public option, I'm not planning to settle on anyone when I cast my vote. I'm voting *for* Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, not just against Donald Trump and Mike Pence. I don't expect to agree with them on everything but I do expect those of us who want them to be bold to have a seat at the table. I expect them to default to doing the right thing to help people more often than to hurt people. I expect them to make progress, even if it's more incremental than systemic. I expect them to understand loss, to understand grief and to understand that we're counting on them to serve their constituents, so we have an administration that stops singling out and stigmatizing the very people they're elected to serve and starts figuring out how they can help us instead of hurt us. I understand if you feel differently and disagree with my rationale and how I personally feel. I respect you and your viewpoint and appreciate you sharing it. Warmly, Danica

Source

[rosy-wooyoung]

[11:39]

🎄 Day 12 of the Christmas project 🎄

Since it was almost Christmas and you were getting very stressed to do the last remaining chores before the end of the year, taking a walk in the park with your boyfriend during your lunchbreak sounded like the perfect idea to wind down and forget about work for two little hours. The park held a special place in your heart, it was the spot where you had first met each other with Seonghwa. Two years ago, you were jokingly chasing after your three-year-old godson, who couldn’t stay in place. Every time that you weren’t looking, or your friend was searching something in her bag, he would run to pet the dog Seonghwa and the woman accompanying him – his sister, something that you didn’t know at that time – were keeping. The two adults were understanding, but you and your friend couldn’t help but feel ashamed as your godson kept bothering them.

In the park, Seonghwa chuckled discreetly as you arrived in front of the spot where he had fallen in you for the first time. He remembered his sister urging him to get up and introduce himself to you as you were about to leave, and he came back with a smile plastered on his face and your phone number in his contacts lists. But now, there were a few small wooden houses that are only there when it's Christmas time, replacing the spot where you had exchanged your first few words.

Those cute houses were selling a bunch of random things related to Christmas, and you loved looking at the homemade, handcrafted things displayed in front of you. It could be mugs, teas, knitted accessories, even coats, you adored observing everything that was around you.

You had a paper mug from your local coffee shop in hand, the only source of warmth as you had miserably forgotten your gloves at home. You thought they were in your purse when you left your house, but you were wrong. They were still resting on the chest of drawers right in the entrance hall, abandoned on the side, waiting for you to pick them up. And because of your mistake, your hands were now cold since the morning, mentally cursing yourself for being so forgetful. They could get freezing, to the point of almost not feeling the tips anymore. Add to this the fact that you spent the entire day alone, sitting at your desk, typing on your computer as you fulfilled your tasks of the day. There could be a heatwave or a snowstorm happening outside, no matter the weather or the situation, your hands were cold. Even wrapping them around a cup of tea or placing them between your thighs would only be temporarily helping, but as soon as your fingers were back on the keyboard, they would freeze again.

You looked at some handmade cutlery, a cute set decorated by painted bees and two bear cubs trying to reach the beehive at the top of a tree, your heart melted at the design. It was adorable.

"How much?" you asked as you delicately placed the cup on the saucer. "45$ for the entire set, 20$ for two cups and the saucers," the lady said, and you looked around to look for your boyfriend.

He was at another stall, lurking for some warm Christmas food. You could see that the mulled orange juice and the gingerbread were tempting him.

"Hwa?" you called, and he turned around, questioningly looking at you with a smile. He excused himself to the seller, probably telling him that he'd be back in a while before coming to you. "Yes, love?" he asked after greeting the woman with a nod, his haze following your finger. "Look how cute this is!" you exclaimed as you delicately handed him a cup, smiling at the seller, who was slightly blushing at your compliments, "and it's only 45$!" "I have to admit that they're pretty cute," he stated as he reached for his wallet in his back pocket, "so, 45$ for the entire set?" "Yes, Sir," she answered, and your eyes widened as he handed her a 50$ bill. "Babe, wait, I-" you said as your boyfriend looked at you with slightly furrowed eyebrows. "What? Don't you want it?" he said, and you blinked. "Well, yeah, but I... I just wanted your opinion, not your money," you shyly said. Your true intentions were to show him your discovery, never calling him over to pay.

He chuckled at your words and let go of the bill, letting the seller know that it was hers now. She handed him the 5 dollars in change and took the set, wrapping it in bubble wraps before sliding it in a bag, carefully handing it to you.

"Thank you and Merry Christmas!" she said to you two as Seonghwa took the bag, placing his hand on your shoulder to walk away after bidding farewell to the lady. "Hwa, I-" "Y/N, stop," he laughed before looking at you, pulling you closer to kiss you on the temple, "just take this as a present for the promotion you've had back at the end of last month. It's okay."

Indeed, you had received a pay rise on your payslip, but due to your both hectic schedules, you simply couldn't find the time to celebrate together. Yes, you had popped open a bottle of champagne the day you had opened the envelope, but nothing else, despite your boyfriend's promise.

"Thank you," you timidly said, and Seonghwa was about to say that it was nothing when he grabbed your hand. “Y/N!" he said, surprised at the feeling of your skin touching each other, "your hands are freezing!” "Oh, it's nothing," you sheepishly said as you retracted your hands in your coat sleeves, but the coldness didn't subside, they were just sheltered from the wind. "You can't hang around with freezing hands and act like it's no big deal," he said as he handed you the bag, freeing his hands to search in his pockets. He got two hot packs from his inside pockets and placed them in your hand, the warmth slowly getting rid of this uncomfortable, cold feeling. They weren't even effective, but the fact that they stayed between the feathers of Seonghwa's coat and his chest were already doing a great job at keeping your hands warm.

He took the bag back in one hand, the other linking with one of yours, sinking them in his coat pockets. Because yes, he had pockets, those little bundles of warmth that were almost non-existent on women's winter coat, or they were fake. You truly cursed the designers for removing them for “fashion” purposes, you found the reason completely ridiculous. Why do you have to be cold to be fashionable? And yet, being on-trend was a bit of an overstatement. The hot packs started working, and it was something very relieving, even if the warmth sent goosebumps down your spine. Your boyfriend kept your hands linked in his pocket, his thumb caressing your cold skin.

Without a warning, Seonghwa stopped and pulled your next to him, his eyes catching the attention of something that could make you feel warmer. Knitted gloves!  

"Hwa, I promise you that the hot packs are more than enough! You don't have to spend your money on me-" you argued, but Seonghwa didn't want to hear anything, shoving the gloves in your hands as he handed another bill to the seller. "Keep your money for Christmas, please," you whispered through gritted teeth, your voice close to begging, pleading. You sighed but put the gloves on anyway as you briefly said goodbye, feeling guilty that Seonghwa was spending his money on gifts for you.

To be quite honest, you weren't used to people being this generous towards you. Your parents always gave you the strict minimum to survive, and you got used to living with what you had when you were a child. Now that you were a grown-up, earning your income, you didn't spend it as others would. You preferred to keep your money safe in your account, just in case something would happen, as you would always say. Some of your friends saw you as a stingy person, but you just felt guilty every time you took money out of your account. Whenever you tried to indulge yourself by buying things that you wanted or needed, you would feel remorseful for spending money on those unnecessary things the days following your purchase.

Seonghwa had noticed your attitude. He appreciated that you were careful with your money, but he thought that it was a bit too much. You were too suspicious, too strict with yourself. You earned enough money to allow yourself to splurge a bit from time to time.

"Love," he said as he cradled your face with his left hand, the other replacing a piece of hair behind your ear. "It's okay. I still have enough money left in my account for Christmas, you don't have to worry about this. I'm more worried about your well-being and your cold hands," he said as he softly pressed his lips to your cheek. You smiled and imitated him, going on your tiptoes to reach his lips as a thank you. He beamed as you ended your swift kiss. "My break is almost over," you pouted as you checked the time on your phone. Seonghwa tenderly looked at you and made you swirl around, already beginning to walk back towards your office.  "It's okay darling, we'll get to spend the evening together, one of my international meetings got cancelled before I came here," he said, and it was your turn to smile, snuggling yourself against him as you slowly got out of the park, now walking on the pavement to get to the bus shelter. "I'll wait for you at your company's reception," he said, and you nodded, your boyfriend softly pressing the back of your head to nuzzle your face in his chest while waiting for the bus to come.

"Are your hands still cold?" he said as his free hand reached for yours, which you did, and he hummed in content when he slid his finger between your hand and the glove. "Keep them until you come into the office and remember to drink something warm if you're cold. Don't neglect yourself, okay?" "I'll try," you said and looked up at him, giving him a kiss on the lips as you heard the bus pulling up. "See you tonight," you said as you got into the bus, sitting next to the window to wave at your boyfriend, only to have him sending you a flying kiss.

"I love you," he mouthed and winked, the bus departing as you smiled to yourself with burning cheeks.

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #130: Marie Antoinette (Caster)

The encores keep coming on Fate and Phantasms with today’s build, Marie Antoinette! A volleyball player in D&D is probably one of the weirder things we’ve done so far, but I’m sure we can set up something good for y’all. Charm everyone you can, and smash those you can’t in the face with your beachballs!

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet here!

Next up: Met a girl(s), crazy for me!

Race and Background

As a variant of Marie, you’re also a variant human, giving you +1 wisdom and charisma. You’re a bit more active than your rider counterpart, so you also get Athletics proficiency and the Fighting Initiate feat, which nets you the Thrown Weapon Fighting fighting style. Now you can grab and throw weapons in the same move, and you deal +2 damage with thrown weapons! Sadly, WoTC forgot to weaponize balls in D&D, but light hammers are the closest thing we have to work with. Yes, that does mean Tortle Antoinette is dangerously close to being a Hammer Bro.

Like always, you’re a Noble, giving you History and Persuasion proficiencies.

Ability Scores

If you know anything about Marie, you know her Charisma is pretty high. If we want to be good a sports we’ll need some Dexterity though, make that second. Your Wisdom isn’t half bad, you were a queen once. Your Constitution isn’t amazing, but hey that just gives you an excuse to order one of those umbrella drinks and relax. Your Intelligence is rather low by elimination, (again, no one wants to think in the summer,) but you’re not stupid so we’re still dumping your Strength. Surprisingly, beach balls aren’t heavy lifting.

Class Levels

1. Monk 1: Remember when I said not all of the summer servants were going to be beach ready? I’m starting to think that might not be true. As a monk, you get proficiency with Strength and Dexterity saves, as well as two monk skills. I’d grab Acrobatics for more volleyball skills and Insight for better rulings.

You also get Unarmored Defense, making your AC based on your wisdom as well as your dexterity, and Martial Arts. Now you can use dexterity instead of strength when attacking with monk weapons (light hammers are simple, so they count), and you can make an unarmed strike as a bonus action after attacking. Also, all your monk attacks do a minimum of 1d4 damage, which scales as you level up. The good news is it only gets better from here.

2. Monk 2: Second level monks get a number of Ki points each short rest equal to their monk level. They can use these to make two attacks, dodge, disengage, or dash as a bonus action. You also get Unarmored Movement, helping you get across the court thanks to an extra 10′ of movement speed that also increases as you level up.

3. Monk 3: They probably wouldn’t tell you this, but it turns out Way of the Kensei monks are super into beach volleyball. That’s why at third level you learn the Path of the Kensei, a totally not confusingly named feature that’s really four features in one. You get Kensei Weapons, a melee (Light Hammer) and ranged (Darts? It doesn’t really matter much) weapon that will be used by later features. One of those is an Agile Parry, giving you a bonus to your AC for a round when you make an unarmed attack with a kensei weapon in hand. Use the volleyballs for ranged attacks, hands for melee attacks, they’re pretty mutually exclusive. Another way to use your deadly weapons is a Kensei’s Shot, which normally doesn’t come up in these builds. Using your bonus action you can deal an extra 1d4 of damage each time you make a ranged attack that turn, effectively doubling your output. You also learn the Way of the Brush, which will be super useful when you’re stuck making manga over and over again in summer 3.

Finally, you volleyball skills come in handy by teaching you how to Deflect Missiles. Using your reaction you can set a ranged attack to deal less damage to you, and if you mitigate it entirely you can spike it back at the attacker.

4. Monk 4: Your very first Ability Score Improvement will go towards Dexterity. Being able to aim your shots helps. You can Slow Fall to reduce sandburn from those dives, and you get some Quickened Healing for a bit of that sunflower power, spending ki and an action to heal yourself.

5. Bard 1: Despite everything, you’re still you. And You is still a bard! This means you get Performance proficiency to get the crowd on your side, as well as some Spells you can cast using your Charisma. You can also give Bardic Inspiration to your allies a number of times per long rest equal to your charisma modifier. This lets them add a d6 to one of their attack rolls, saving throws, or ability checks.

Speaking of spells, Light will make you the center of attention, either creating a light source out of thin air of turning an object into a free torch. You also get Friends, Charm Person, and Animal Friendship to wrap the world around your finger, because some things never change. If you have to get a bit forceful, you can also use Command, or Cure Wounds if you’re in a more merciful mood.

6. Bard 2: Second level bards are Jacks of All Trades, adding half your proficiency bonus to checks that don’t already use it. As a queen, you have to be well-versed in just about everything. You also get a Song of Rest, adding 1d6 to healing done over short rests. Finally, your Magical Inspiration augments your bardic inspiration. It can now be added to spell damage and healing. 

Speaking of spell damage and healing, Bane does neither of those things. However, it does force a charisma save (DC 8 + proficiency + charisma modifier) on a couple creatures, and the ones that fail subtract 1d4 from all attacks and saves they make for the duration. You’re pretty distracting.

7. Bard 3: Your bard levels aren’t changing things up much from your original setup- yes, you’re still going to the College of Glamour. As a glamour bard, your Mantle of Inspiration can be built using just a use of Inspiration and your bonus action, giving a couple of friendly creatures 5 temporary hp, and the ability to react to move without causing opportunity attacks. 

You can also put on an Enthralling Performance. After you play for at least a minute, you can try to charm a couple people who saw the entire thing, basically turning them into your groupies if they fail a wisdom save. You can use this once per short rest.

Finally, you get Expertise in two skills, doubling your proficiency bonus in Acrobatics and Performance. You’re good at what you do, and even better at making it look good while you do it.

You can also cast Calm Emotions to soothe enemies or friends alike. Like Guda always says, “An enemy is just a friend that’s still trying to kill you.”

8. Bard 4: Use this ASI to bump up your Charisma for stronger spells and more inspiration.

You can also cast True Strike this level for more accurate strikes, or Enhance Ability to inspire greatness in an ally, giving them advantage on one kind of skill check for the duration.

9. Bard 5: At fifth level your bardic inspiration grows to a d8, and you become a Font of Inspiration. That means your inspiration pops back up on short rests and long ones!

Being a queen isn’t easy. Even if you’re nice you still gotta punish people sometimes. Sometimes that punishment is curses. Bestow Curse can help with that. This is one of those open-ended spells- if your DM’s cool with creativity, you can probably do some nasty stuff with this spell.

10. Bard 6: Sixth level bards can waste an action on Countercharm, giving allies advantage against being charmed or frightened for the round. Alternatively, you can use your Mantle of Majesty as a bonus action, allowing you to cast command for free each bonus action and upon use. Any creature charmed by you automatically fails the save, but this feature uses your concentration, so it’s only really useful with teamwork or your Enthralling Performance. You can use this once per long rest.

We can duplicate the effects of your noble phantasm easy, but none of these really make you a giant glass jellyfish, do they? Major Image can help with that. This creates an illusion that fits within a 20′ square, and you can move it with you too!

11. Monk 5: Bouncing back to monk for an Extra Attack each attack action. You can also make a Stunning Strike, forcing a constitution save (DC 8+proficiency+wisdom modifier) or they’re stunned for the round. (This only works on melee attacks tho, boo hiss.) 

For something more useful, Focused Aim lets you spend 1-3 ki points to add 2-6 to an attack roll. Volleyball is all about that aim.

12. Monk 6: Sixth level monks get Ki Empowered Strikes, making your unarmed attacks magical against resistances. You also become One with the Blade, which makes your kensei weapons magical against resistances, and you can use a Deft Strike to add your martial arts die to your damage once per turn.

You also get another kensei weapon, but it doesn’t really matter what you pick bc we’re still volleyballing here.

13. Monk 7: Once again, you get the super useful Evasion, halving damage from failed dex saves and removing damage from successes. You also get a Stillness of Mind, letting you spend an action to shut down frightening and charming effects.

14. Bard 7: Bouncing back to bard again for some fourth level spells, like Charm Monster. Fish love you, women love you, basically everyone loves you.

15. Bard 8: Use this ASI to bump up your Dexterity for more AC and better attacks. Turns out, monks like dexterity! Who’da thunk it. Your glass dress also gets a bit scarier at this level, turning it into a Phantasmal Killer. If your target fails a Wisdom save, they become frightened, and at the end of each turn they have to make another save or take psychic damage. Technically this makes one of their worst fears, but I bet glass chafes something awful, so I’d count it.

16. Bard 9: Ninth level bards get a stronger song of rest, and you can cast fifth level spells! Dominate Person forces a wisdom save on a creature or they get charmed. While charmed, you can issue commands to the target or take total control of them. You’re a celebrity, you do what you want. And other people do what you want too.

17. Bard 10: Tenth level bards get a d10 for their inspiration, and they get Magical Secrets, two spells from any spell list. Also a cantrip, which makes introducing the spells succinctly a pain in the ass. You get a Thunderclap if you spike the ball hard enough, but the stars of the show are Conjure Volley (yes we got it entirely for the pun) and Find Greater Steed. Horses aren’t practical on a beach, but glass horses aren’t about practicality.

You also get Expertise in athletics and persuasion to truly master volleyball and the popularity that comes with it.

18. Monk 8: Use your last ASI to bump up your Constitution for 18 free hit points.

19. Monk 9: Your unarmored movement improvement lets you literally walk on water, for those dramatic Baywatch-style shots.

20. Monk 10: Your final level gives you a Purity of Body, making you immune to disease and poison. Not the flashiest way to end a build, but I def wouldn’t complain about that right now.

Pros:

Throwing hammers around gives you a range advantage on most melee enemies, and your monk mobility gives you plenty of speed to abuse it with.

Your high dex and kensei features make your shots accurate, and your damage consistent. 

Despite trading half your bard levels for monk, you’re still charming as all hell- literally. Fighting still isn’t your strong suit, but you’ve got plenty of ways to avoid them where possible.

Cons:

YOU ARE USING LIGHT HAMMERS. There isn’t even a stereotype about them in those “what does you favorite weapon say about you” videos because NO ONE USES THEM. Even with being a monk, you still won’t be doing much damage with them. Pulling out all the stops nets you 2d6+1d4+6 Bludgeoning damage at level 20. Let the fighters take care of the fighting, you’ll be a lot happier for it.

A lot of your abilities are tied to inspiration and ki, both of which are limited resources. 

Unless you’ve got an artificer in your group or a generous dm, throwing weapons are a pain to use. You’ve either got to carry around a lot of them (which might be an issue with your dumped strength) or get used to picking them up between attacks.

[princessmadafu]

37 bleedin’ pages!

I have condensed them for you and left out most of the bits that the nasty evil British Press have already covered. Feel free to skip any boring bits.

Dax Shepard: Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert's Experts on Expert. I'm Dan Shepard. I'm joined by Monica Mouse.

Monica Padman: Hi.

[...]

There follows some heavy marketing of towels and stuff...

DS: Now please enjoy Prince Harry. We are supported by Brookelinen. My favourite hotel quality sheets to get into and writhe around in the nude. [...] They're impeccable. They're decadent, they're soft, they're absorbent. Brookelinen was started to create beautiful high quality home essentials that don't cost an arm and a leg. They're so confident in their product, they come with a 365 day warranty. So give yourself that comfort refresh you deserve and get it for less. Go to Brookelinen.com and use promo code 'expert' to get $20 off with a minimum purchase of $100. That's Brookelinen.com and enter promo code 'expert' for $20 off with a minimum purchase of $100. That's Brookelinen.com, promo code 'expert'.

Pretty ironic really, as Harry wades into fake news and how advertising algorithms are ruining us...

DS:...It's like the algorithms on the internet. You can't compete with that, a human.

PH: You can't if you have the awareness of what it's doing to you. And the fact that it's learning, which is scary. And advertising has been going on for hundreds of years, but done really responsibly. The difference here is targeted ads. If ads have always worked for companies, you can put on the TV, you can walk away, you can come back, your involvement is switching on switching off or changing the channel. Whereas now with algorithms is there, it's just feeding your habits. And it's also reading through your emails and everything else. So it's getting to know you, like, it gets to know the decisions you're gonna make before you make them, then it creates this echo chamber of no pushback, of no context of nothing. It's just perpetuating and feeding the bias and the habits that you already have inside of you, which is terrible.[...]

Harry needs to learn about AdBlock and Ghostery and VPNs and Tor and DuckDuckGo and Smartpage and all the other clever little ways the computer-literate have of ridding their lives of unwanted advertising. I haven't seen an ad in years. The only person feeding my habits is me. It’s called personal responsibility. Maybe Harry still needs a Nanny but most grown-ups don’t. Oh wait, I forgot, the “Meghan&Harry Show” fans are all kids.

PH: [...] It's a computer. It's like, who wrote the algorithms? You guys did? Probably all male and all white.

Oooh, let's be sexist and racist, Harry! Did you ever hear of these women or are they too scary?

https://biztechmagazine.com/article/2012/05/mothers-technology-10-women-who-invented-and-innovated-tech

Then they discuss Naked Vegas (this guy Dax has a thing about nudity) and Harry in Afghanistan. And discuss a calendar of naked men that DS and MP put together - their favourite male bodies. What a good job it's only gloating over naked male bodies and not naked female bodies. It's apparently acceptable, for some reason. Harry doesn't know who the guys are.

DS: Monica makes this for me every year and it's a calendar of all my favourite bodies of friends.

MP: And they're all men.

DS: They're all men.

MP: And they're all gorgeous bodies.

[...]

And is Harry nervous talking about mental health? He shouldn't be, he's been banging on about it for years.

PH: Yeah. Was I nervous? No. Not so much nervous. But I guess on this particular subject around mental health. Yeah. For me, it's always a, unfortunately, today's world is quite a sensitive subject, not just for the people who are sharing. But ultimately, the subject matter itself has to be handled with care. [...] It ends up getting weaponized by certain people.

Weaponised by certain people? Like him and Markle, for instance. Neither of 'em has any talent so they weaponise their mental health. Big big mental health bombs loaded with word salad to lob at their own families and cause huge distress. Not nice, Harry.

PH: That's how I've always felt when it comes to projection. I mean, hatred is a form of projection, right? [...] We're not born to hate people. So it manifests itself over a period of time. And of course, it can come from unresolved pain, or being hurt continually, as a young kid or through adult life. But ultimately, there's a source to it. There's a reason why you want to hate somebody else.

Like his dad, his brother...

PH: And actually have some compassion for them. Which is really hard when you're on the receiving end of this, like, just vile, toxic abuse. But the reality is, is you say, flip it. [...] Every single one of us wherever we are, wherever we come from, there will always try and find some way to be able to mask the actual feeling and be able to try and make us feel different to how we are actually feeling, perhaps having a feeling. Right, because so many people are just numb to it. That was a huge part of the beginning of my life, which was like, I rejected. I said, there's nothing wrong with me. I'm fine.

And now he's moved on to promoting his new mental health stuff with Oprah, The Me You Can't See...

PH: So if you are making that conscious decision to say: You know what, it's not self serving, but I want to share my story. I'm being asked to share my story to hopefully help someone or loads of other people. I'm probably going to get trolled. I'm probably going to get attacked by the same people that were doing anyway. If I'm willing to make that decision, surely that comes from a place of courage rather than weakness?

Or possibly naivety. Harry is only wanted for his money-making title and royal status; he has no mental health qualifications, he's not a mental health professional, he's not an expert, all he brings to the table is the glamour of being a prince of the BRF. Which he quite clearly hates. Markle is lining her pockets from their self-indulgent mental health whinge fest and he's too dim to see it. There follows the bit about the spectrum of upbringing that the press is covering nicely so I can skip the next few pages - the bits where Harry says he doesn't see that talking about his own issues is complaining, and “it's the job, right”, how he never wanted the job of being royal, and his therapy and how “massively self-critical” he is (yet still can't see that he's not being honest with himself), ooh and sharing his hatred of the British press - that's a good bit, let's skip to page 18:

PH I think the biggest issue for me was that being born into it, you inherit the risk, you inherit the risk that comes with it, you inherit every element of it without choice. And because of the way that the UK media are, they feel an ownership over you. Literally like a full on ownership. And then they give the impression to some of their, well, most of the readers, that that is the case. But I think it's a really dangerous place to be if you don't have a choice, but then, of course, then people quite rightly will turn around and go. So what if you didn't have a choice? It was privilege? [...] Page Six of the New York Post, they took pictures of my son being picked up from school on his first day [...] But I guess my point is the way that I look at it, especially now living here one hour outside LA. Like it's a feeding frenzy here. We spent the first three and a half months living at Tyler Perry's house. You let us stay. And the helicopter helicopters, the drones the paparazzi cutting the fence like it was madness. And people out there -Their response was, Well, what do you expect if you live in LA? It's like, Okay, well, first of all, we didn't mean to live in LA. This is like a staging area before we try and find a house. And secondly, how sad that if you live in LA and you're well known figure, you just have to accept it. The first security we had, I said, Well, where's the safest place? Inside. Just because I'm a well known person, you can't go outside anymore. [...] it's really, really sad. And of course, their argument is - the paparazzi and everybody else - is like all if you're in the public space, then it's absolutely fine for us to do it. So what is our human right as an individual and as a family, you're saying that if the moment we step foot out of our house, that it's open season and free game? What? Because of public interest?. There's no public interest in you taking your kids for a walk down the beach. Nothing...

And on and on it goes... He should've stayed in the UK then. The Cambridges are managing very nicely, thank you. They take their kids for walks on the beach, and we'd never seen them until they released their anniversary video the other week. Harry's clearly envious of William; Harry's mad wife is vitriolically envious of Catherine. Oh and I’m pretty sure it’s the mad wife who keeps phoning her go-to paps when she needs to be in the news again.

PH: [...] I believe we live in an age now where you've got certain elements of the media redefining to us what privacy means. There's a massive conflict of interest. And then you've got social media platforms, trying to redefine what free speech means. Why - I wonder why you're doing that. And again - so this has been happening for 15 years now. And we're living in this world where we've almost like all the laws have been completely flipped by the very people that need them flipped so they can make more money and they can capitalise off our pain, grief, and this sort of general self destructive mode that's happening at the moment [...]

He doesn't get how hypocritical this is, does he? The Markles are the ones capitalising on their grief, pain and the rest of it. And no-one would be interested in them without the royal bits because they have nothing else to offer. Failed actress and used-to-be-a-soldier wrapped up in festering bitterness.

Blah, blah... went shopping in a supermarket... saw lots of chewing gum... blah, blah... Archie on the back of his bicycle... girls want to be princesses... You don't need to be a princess, you can create the life that will be better than any princess or it's something along those lines... she said she expected [the press] to be fair... Pages and pages of how he hates the British press...

PH: [...] And especially when you can't defend yourself so yes, I think when you marry into it, especially when it's one Princess Diana's sons there is a certain amount of 'okay what I'm actually letting myself in for?' But very few people actually know - apart from the Brits - how toxic that element of the of the UK press is.[...]

We're up to page 24 now, if you're still with me. Oh here it is, Harry's unconscious bias... What’s the betting the mad wife has scripted this bit for him?

PH: [...] So going back to the whole sort of travelling around the Commonwealth, I thought I knew, right, having been able to travel that much and meet so many and such a diverse group of people. I thought I understood life. Especially bearing in mind most of the countries I was going to were, most of the communities are going to were people of colour. But then I was really shocked once I started doing therapy. And that bubble was burst. And I started doing my own work, really - a lot of work - and started to uncover and understand more about unconscious bias. And I was like, wow, I thought since I screwed up when I was younger, and then did the work. I thought I then knew. But I didn't. And I still don't fully know. It's like a constant working progress. And every single one of us has it. [...] Everyone has biases, of all sorts. But I think it's a really important point, especially now, after everything's happened in the last year and a half, like the world is changing, the younger generation are driving it. And you've got to like a multi-racial, cultural sort of movement happening, which has never happened before. But unconscious bias is the way that I understand it, is, again, it's not something that's wrong with you. Right? And you don't have to be defensive about it. That's the thing. No one's blaming you. But the moment that you acknowledge that you do have unconscious bias, what are you going to do about it? Because if you choose to do nothing you're continuing to fuel the problem, which means that you're then heading towards racism. Whereas unconscious bias is actually something that is inherent, unfortunately, in every single one of us. But that it is possible to educate yourself to be more aware of the problems and therefore be part of the solution rather than part of the problem.

Markle's got him well-trained on this one, hasn't she. I wonder if he's read anything critical of the unconscious bias movement, or just repeating what he's been told to. Oh and then he goes off about being in the army...

PH: I loved it. I love wearing the same uniform as everybody else. I love being treated the same. I love the expectation of if you want to get that job, or you want that promotion, or you want to finish this race, it's all on you. There's no special treatment, you're not going to get any help. If anything, you're probably going to get treated the opposite because everyone thinks that you've had an easy life. And everyone's always helped you get to where you are.

But...but...but, Harry wasn't treated the same, there was special treatment, he was helped to get to where he was. He scraped a couple of poor quality A Levels and got admitted to Sandhurst because he's a prince. Good old Wikipedia says:

In June 2003, Harry completed his education at Eton with two A-Levels,[22] achieving a grade B in art and D in geography, having decided to drop history of art after AS level.[23] He has been described as "a top tier athlete", having played competitive polo and rugby union.[24] One of Harry's former teachers, Sarah Forsyth, has asserted that Harry was a "weak student" and that staff at Eton conspired to help him cheat on examinations.[25][26] Both Eton and Harry denied the claims.[25][27] While a tribunal made no ruling on the cheating claim, it "accepted the prince had received help in preparing his A-level 'expressive' project, which he needed to pass to secure his place at Sandhurst."[25][28]

PH: And then suddenly, like - while I was at school, I hated exams. And I promised myself I'd never do exams again. Then I joined the army of which is full of exams. I still promised myself I'm never gonna do it and then I end up flying Apache [...]

Gods, it's getting boring. Even the interviewers are zoning out. Still ten pages to go. Wish I hadn't started this, I could be out weeding. Weather's nice, not too windy... Do I deserve a quick G&T yet?

PH: Or worse, was they turn around and say, right, because last week, you're out the front. This week, you got to carry his bergan, I'm like - what, 30 extra pounds? Nooo. But it was, it was the most normalising experience or job that I could have ever hoped for. And then going to Afghanistan twice [...] And someone said to me very recently, from the moment that you're born into today's world, life is trauma, so the sooner that we actually acknowledge that but but [...]

A-a-a-a-and he's back on the mental health thing, PTSD or PTSI,

PH: Post Traumatic Stress Injury is like: Well, that makes sense, because I just saw my mate get blown out. But the other piece of this is, what we need to remember is, the lot of the recruiting that we do in the UK, comes from certain cities and certain homes, where there's childhood trauma. So what we collectively have already got inside of us, the trigger of seeing something happen in Iraq, Afghanistan can be the trigger. So everyone goes: Oh, it's because they were on operations, and because they saw their makeup blown up. It's like, no. [...] So that's what I've been working on for years, for the last five years, which is like, and it started in therapy of like, I don't want to lose this thing, because I think it's, I feel so connected to my mum. [...]

They move on to parenting, which the press is rubbing its hands over... Harry blaming everyone but himself and his saintly mother - Charles, HMTQ, PP... "They f*ck you up, your mum and dad". But not the mum bit. He can't push his mum off her pedestal.

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/48419/this-be-the-verse if you don't know Larkin's poetry. How much more? Nearly there. Monica loves The Crown and doesn't realise it's fictitious.

DS: [...]Well, Harry, I've really really liked talking to you. You're very charming. You're very intelligent. You're handsome, and I can't wait to see your torso.

MP: Thank you so much for coming.

DS: So I just want to remind everyone that May 21 on Apple Plus, you should check out Oprah and Prince Harry's 'The Me You Can't See'. I have to imagine it's similar to her book, which I just read, which is absolutely incredible 'What happened to you?' So everyone should check out 'The me you can't see' on Apple plus May 21.

And still Harry won't shut up... Shut up, shut up. Cut his mic. You don't have to read this last bit, they've already wound up the interview...He still won’t shut up.

PH: Yeah, we're moving from the physical to the emotional, right, physically. At the beginning of this pandemic, people were panicking. And there was that fight or flight like, ahh what do we do like lockdown, survival? Yeah. And now that the vaccines have been sort of, we're getting to the point where more and more people are being vaccinated, we're now in the emotional phase of what I read in the New York Times article was called languishing, which is really interesting. It's like the is the middle child between flourishing and depression. You just feel flat, and it's not depressed. It's definitely not flourishing. You lack the energy and the will, the motivation, all that kind of stuff. Because you're kind of sitting there going - Well, what happens next? And I think it's really important that we talk about languishing. And it was coined by someone I can't remember who but I think it was the journalist who wrote the story was Adam Grant. No, he didn't come up with it. Someone else came up with him, he wrote this, the most amazing article about languishing and the fact that how important it is to be able to talk about it because - look when it comes to mental health, we need to realise and accept that every single one of us have mental health. There's varying degrees, as we said, you've got the mental illness, and then you've got the sort of the awareness and the work that you can put in, like, Where do you want to be that we shouldn't just sit there and go: Oh, mental illness is once we are literally on the floor crawling around in the foetal position needing help. But for me, I don't think I need therapy anymore. But I wanted. And when I say therapy, I mean, actual therapy, sitting down having a discussion with someone. But I also mean like, nature, like going for walks, like throwing the ball for my dog down the beach and stuff like that. There are certain things around the world that are free, some you have to pay for, but ultimately go searching for the things that make you feel good about yourself. Like that's the key to life, get rid of the bad stuff, get rid of the hate, and just focus on the good. And your whole life turns around from that. I hate this idea. And I was one of them. I fell for it. Right? I didn't acknowledge that clearly what happened to me when I was 12 years old, losing my mom and all the other pieces that happened, the traumatic experiences that happened to me since then, I didn't acknowledge them, when perhaps - maybe I need to deal with this because if I don't, how the hell am I going to be a decent father to my son and my daughter? Like that awareness, I didn't have then. But again, we've got what - 40 experts as part of this series, and the Surgeon General, Dr. Nadine Burke Harris, she's absolutely fantastic. And she was talking about this concept of mental health being sort of public health, right. Because the services are so limited. There's not enough money. The problem is actually immense. How can we all help each other rather than this: 'Oh, once I'm broken, or once I'm suffering, I have to go here.' And there's not enough rooms or spaces for the amount of people or the for the need, when actually you can get ahead of it, and work on the prevention by sharing and being more vulnerable with each other, and being able to process this grief or this loss, or this trauma that every single one of us have experienced and will experience. So anyone who's sitting there going: 'I don't have a problem, and I never will have a problem.' Well, you probably are already contributing to the problem, because you probably got your blinkers on, you probably created your own echo chambers. So I think it's a that, that's certainly what I've experienced for my own process, my own journey, my family and my friends and everybody else is. Anyone who thinks, oh, we're fine. You're the one who's like, willing to talk about it. It's like, yeah, I'm willing to talk about it and talking about it. And the financial element as well. We're pouring money into on the downsteam, when it's like, Can we just focus upstream? Yeah, we focus on one thing, like to me listen to Oprah was what was one of the reasons that this whole thing started was two of the biggest issues that we're facing in today's world, I think, is the climate crisis, and mental health. And they're both intrinsically linked. Basically if we neglect our collective wellbeing, then we're screwed. Basically, because we can't look after ourselves. We can't look after each other. We can't look after each other, we can't look after this home that we all inhabit. So it's all part of the same thing.

DS: Prince Harry, I don't say this lightly. I love you. Thanks for coming. This was great.

M: Thank you so much.

PH: Thank you very much.

Wish I'd done my weeding.

[susieskinner93]

You took all the pillows, so I’m using you as one

Robert just wants to sleep, but there are certain factors making things difficult for him.

AO3

Robert tried to sleep. Tried was the keyword. He couldn’t. He felt extremely hot. The light breeze of the autumn wind was welcomed as a whole, not just for the nights. But to be fair he always loved this season. It was definitely better than the summer heatwave, and there was something about the fallen leaves and the change in the weather that he was just simply drawn to. Or maybe he just loved the concept of it because of his wedding. He was sentimental like that, but it was pretty obvious that he was glad he didn’t have restless nights because of the unbearable heat anymore. Or so he thought. Because right now it was difficult to drift back to sleep when he felt like he might be burning up. His sleepy brain couldn’t place the source of it first, but then everything got clearer.

“Aaron, what are you doing?” - asked Robert half asleep after feeling Aaron moving around like he was unable to settle in bed. He was basically covering Robert, getting comfortable right on top of him, creating a nice little sauna for his husband. Aaron didn’t seem to mind. Even more so… he didn’t seem to hear a thing from what Robert just said.  – “Aaron!” – groaned Robert a little louder this time, trying to turn around and shake Aaron off in the process.

“What? You took all the pillows, so I’m using you as one.” – murmured Aaron with his eyes still closed, not letting Robert off the hook. Okay maybe Robert did have a few pillows… maybe all of it… but to punish him like this? Nonsense.

“I’m gonna suffocate…. it’s hot… and not in a kinky way.” – he said. – “Plus I think you kicked my liver down with all this moving around.” – he added sulking.

“Me, kicking you?” – asked back Aaron lifting himself up a bit. – “Pff alright…. grump.” – he sighed as he put a little distance between their bodies. – “There… that’ll do.” – he said as he turned again, facing away from Robert. He knew how to make his husband feel guilty.

“Hey, come back.” – whispered Robert pulling Aaron’s shoulder within a second.

“No, you said you were hot. I don’t wanna disturb ya. Just gimme a pillow.”

“No, I can be your pillow.”– said Robert totally forgetting that it was his problem in the beginning.

“Why don’t you kick that duvet off? It’s not freezing cold just yet.”

“For you… but you know the little monster who just barges in here when he feels like to sleep with us…” - smiled Robert.

“Yeah and he always ends up in the middle of the bed and you always sleep through the agony, so after like 20 minutes of praying that he might… just might give me an inch of the bed so I can get back to sleep I give up and go downstairs.” – chuckled Aaron.

“Well, you could try taking him back to his bed.”

“Yeah, I did try remember? He woke up and demanded to go back to our room.”

“That’s why you’re never in bed when I wake up with Seb there?”

“Okay not never, but it’s rare when he lets me have that minimum amount of space.” – he laughed softly.

“He probably doesn’t even know what he’s doing.” – said Robert.

“Yeah I know, and it’s kind of amusing watching you lot sleep.” – said Aaron before he winced at his own words – “Not in a creepy way… it’s just you’re so alike.”

“Yeah? You know I could say the same.” – smiled Robert as he turned on his back pulling Aaron to his chest. He could feel Aaron’s confusion so he started to elaborate – “It’s just all the times you two have a little nap in the afternoon… on the couch… or… or watching footie… it’s scary how alike you two are.” – he said and he could immediately see Aaron’s blushing.

“Come on Robert that’s…”

“That’s the truth.” – said Robert not letting him finish. – “He’s always copying you. He always wants what you have… he adores you.”

“I never noticed.” – said Aaron thinking. He was clearly surprised. –“ I mean this was all… natural to me, I never thought…. what?” – he asked when he realized that Robert was staring down at him.

“Nothing, I just love you.”

“You’re being really sentimental tonight, you know that?” – chuckled Aaron before they heard their door creaking open. Seb didn’t say a word just stood there with his favorite teddy in his hand, looking at his dads from the edge of the bed. – “Hey little man, what’s wrong? You can’t sleep?” – he asked as he sat up to focus on his son. Seb shook his head and he even pouted, not like he needed to. Emotional blackmailing was in his blood, and Aaron could never say no to him.

“Come on, get in here.” – said Robert lifting the duvet up that he kicked off a couple of minutes ago. He had a feeling they’re gonna need it later. Because no matter how good the weather was still, Seb  - and Robert, comes to it – could only fall asleep with a blanket covering them from head to toe. Aaron just had to deal with it, but for those two he gladly did.

“Alright, but no kicking, okay?” – warned him Aaron, before he gave a kiss to Seb. The little boy snuggled up to him immediately and it filled Aaron’s heart with such happiness he never in a million years thought he’d feel.

“Alright buddy, if you close your eyes real quick and fall asleep, Daddy Aaron might make you his famous Sunday lunch.”

“But first cereal.” - said Seb pointing out the obvious. That breakfast came before lunch.

“Yeah, that’s right.” – smiled Aaron – “And Daddy Robert will make you hot chocolate as well, won’t ya?” – he asked looking at Robert.

“Only if you’re gonna sleep now.” – said Robert poking Seb’s nose, and they both saw Seb shutting his eyes at once. They had to chuckle at the scenery of it. It was too adorable. Their son was too adorable.

“Oi.” – whispered Aaron carefully, not to wake Seb. – “I have to cook now, I want a reward for that.” – he said with a mischievous smile.

“Don’t worry, I have plans.” – grinned Robert, before they all drifted off to sleep. Maybe he would’ve wanted to get closer to Aaron, maybe he had the urge to do unspeakable things to him, but having this moment, with Seb being there… yeah it just warmed his heart like nothing else. And after all, he did indeed have plans for Aaron…. later.

[wcamino-confessions]

Firstly, the new theme looks great! Just wanted to put that out there. I like using my computer to say stuff here since I'm less likely to make mistakes, so it's nice to have the font bigger and more readable!!

Anyways, I saw people asking about when to post and all that, and I've also noticed the whole commission struggle thing. 

I'm gonna make a more indepth post sometime in the coming months, but what I can quickly say right now is that advertising and marketing comes into play when making adopts and selling your artwork.

Selling your art? Some quick tips:

- Don't bug your page down with a ton of reposts/reblogs

If people have to search for your art, they may not have the energy or interest to! But if you don't have to look too far for your creations, they're more likely to follow and stay interested! Positive impressions are super important.

- WIP shots

Don't worry about "not being good enough," WIP shots are really nice to show people your process, or even give them a glimpse into the previews of your works! Builds up suspense, since people will be excited for the finished product! (Can ALSO be applied to writers!!)

- Don't be afraid to use hashtags

Hashtags like "#SmallArtist" "#SmallWriter" exist to be used! There's no shame in it! Same can be done with "#Commissions" "#Points" "#Paypal" "#AminoCoins"

- Similarly to Hashtags, use keywords

You'd be surprised how well keywords work. If you drew fanart of Firestar? Make sure to put "Rusty, Firepaw, Fireheart, Firestar" Somewhere in the post (I suggest the bottom in a little section labeled "Keywords/hashtags") It will lead to far more people seeing it!

Selling adopts?

- If your account revolves around selling adopts, also don't bug down your account with reposts/reblogs

This one isn't AS big of an issue as it would be with selling art, but it's still recommended! Just like with art, it doesn't mean you can't repost things, just don't have a stream of 10 in a row, y'know what I mean?

- Polls are your friends

Not sure what your audience is into? Do a poll! (Make sure to follow the 20 word minimum rule, even if that means you just go into depth.) I did this a few days ago, and I got feedback that genuinely really helped me, and after that my adopts sold REALLY fast. 

Example of a description to avoid getting hidden: "Hello! I've been looking at my adopts and realizing certain types sell faster than others, and would appreciate some feedback on what types of adopts my followers are looking for."

Some poll option ideas could be "Light colors, dark color, vibrant colors, realistic colors" "no accessories, a few accessories, a lot of accessories" etc. It may not sound like a lot but it really does help.

- Speaking of polls, don't be afraid to delete them

After your poll ends (I suggest having it just run for 1-2 days) document the results with either a save screenshot or just writing it down, and then get rid of the poll to avoid it bugging down your page.

- Do popular/trending challenges/themes

Y'know the 3 emoji challenge? Yeah, don't be afraid to use it! It's a great way to get inspiration from recognizable imagery! 

Another popular trend for the past few years has been "themed adopts" using appealing names! (Ex. "Fall's call" "Summer sunset" "midnight rain") which can also be a decent source of inspiration. 

I made a simple generator for those who need help coming up with ideas https://perchance.org/adopt-theme

The biggest word of advice I could give is not giving up. There is no such thing as a bad artist/designer, only one with room to grow.

So what if someone else has their adopts/commissions selling a lot? That doesn't take away from your chance to shine, so get out there!

And if you ever need help with boosting, PM me at Mouri on WA, and I'll gladly boost your stuff ^^ I've done it before, and had positive outcomes and I enjoy making others happy, so don't feel like you're being annoying or anything like that!!!!

Have a nice day everyone.

[l0chn3ss]

l0chn3ss update

I feel like the last time I ever really active on tumblr was in the year 2016, so i want to address my absence between 2017-2020. Part of it is because I feel like I owe it to my friends and mutuals who I just basically left on read and another part is because I’ve always treated this blog as a personal blog that documents my life and my growth. I put off writing this for a long time but now that I have a huge paper due, now is definitely the time.

You are welcome to skip but I will address a few hard hitting questions I feel should be answered, especially since I feel like I departed like an anti-hero of a bad tv show.

Where I am currently: I am in grad school to obtain a master’s in library and information science. I have a full time job at different middle school libraries, though I work from home now. I also tutor kids on the side to pay for my tuition because I basically make minimum wage. Quarantine messed with my head at first, but now I’m feeling much better and I’m trying to reconnect with friends and close a lot of loose ends.

TLDR: I took an extended break because tumblr mobile sucks and my laptop needed serious repairs. I made a huge migration away from social media in 2018. I prioritized my education and in-person connections, which fell to shit because of my fandom involvement in the past. I did not like the direction of the main fandom I participated in and knew that many of the people I once respected did not respect me in return/ Us versus them mentality. I recognized that I treated my life on tumblr too seriously and took petty drama personally. I am sporadically on tumblr now because I genuinely enjoy the social connection and because I still like running fandom events.

Yes, you can reblog this. I’d love for this narrative to be heard.

Long version: To preface this, this post is being written to give myself closure and because I really am procrastinating on my final big paper of this semester. I’ll be tackling on the points in the tldr in a longer narrative that will appear to be in an expository fashion, which I recognize will be a source of contention, but my intentions are to throw it onto the table so that I can be freed. I can let it go and move on. I’m no longer a 20 years old who cared too much of what other people think and will think; I think differing perspectives are important and I want to give myself a chance to say my piece. That and I recognize that I lost the audience that I once had, so I doubt this will be an issue at all. It’s been 4 or what ever years, let’s just not.

Back in 2015-2016 there was a huge back and forth between three groups of people in the SE fandom. The reason why I’m not listing out the name is because I don’t want this to show up in the tags. I’d say that the three groups could be seen as quite literally the soma shippers (mostly white, demi sexual girls), lgbt centric bloggers (very kid or star oriented, very fed up with soma), and the people who were deemed as alright to soma shippers (c r ona, ste inm arie, jac k im centric people). There was a constant (and understandable) tension between the first two groups while the third was like the weird cousin that everyone in the social circles liked because they sprinkled in soma for the masses. Don’t argue with me on this-- this was literally how the fandom was in 2015 and you know it.

The main issue was that one group felt that they were being inclusive towards identities and sexualities while the other felt that they were not. I remember that one of the arguments was that soma WAS an LGBT ship because people headcanonned the members to be demisexual. However, the other side of the argument was that it wasn’t good representation of a gay pairing. Now that we can look back at this 5 years later, I have two things to say: 1, I now very much understand why the argument broke out because of how heated the topic is, and I do believe that I lean more towards the “other side” now that I’m not wearing rose tinted glasses, but 2, I need to make it clear that demi people are lgbt, but a headcanon is not fact and ship diversity was the main question at hand, not the ship itself. This argument lasted for weeks, destroyed my friendships, and no matter what I felt I did in the moment (which was to mend the fandom), it was taken as an insult.

(Side note: Somethings that I remember was being in someone’s DM’s to encourage them to participate in the large fandom events more, but once they twisted my intentions and rallied their friends, I became their enemy. I also became the mods’ enemy but then again, when was I not? I was made fun of for saying “queergender,” a term that is now currently being widely used, quite openly by someone I wanted desperately to be friends with. I was outwardly mocked by popular users who only apologized behind closed doors but didn’t bother to clear things up with their followers. Adults who were in their 30s quite literally attacked a 19 year old. It was in that moment that I realized I would never become friends with either side, and not because I didn’t want to.)

I bring this up because as I begun to stop writing soma fics, I also begun to see and understand why people moved away from it. It wasn’t the ship itself, it was the culture surrounding it. However, on tumblr we have the ability to connect intensely with the content we produce. Therefore, the ship itself began to be connected with the shippers and their attitudes towards outside pairings-- that attitude being tied into elitism.

I say this with every ounce of love I can because I once had the exact same mannerism. When you become so tied into one pairing to the point where other ships appear to threaten the existence of it and you react negatively towards it, you become rancid. The popular tag “everything is soma” takes a very dark turn. Even if readers consume another pairing’s work, they will be obliged to say “I ship soma more BUT that was cute.” They will read an entirely different topic and wonder why soma wasn’t inserted into it in the background. They will reject pairings that separate the two as if breaking them up is sin and an insult.

The only reason why I stopped writing my soma fics in 2016 was because I saw a real need to fill in the gaps of other pairings. I took what people were saying to heart and I wanted to change my ways and my perceptions. I saw the animosity of the ship culture and rejected it. I wanted to use what little influence I had to make the fandom just a bit more accepting. In 2016, I don’t think the fandom was ready for it. In 2017, they still weren’t ready for it. In 2020, I see hope, but I wonder sometimes if it’s masqueraded pity because of previous treatment.

In the middle of it all, I went from being the soma angst master to becoming the weird person everyone once knew. I was the friend that people excluded from group chats and I just “wasn’t the same.” Cliques grew extremely large in power in 2017 and exclusion hurt like a bitch.

The straw that broke the camel’s back and completely shut me down was in 2017 when I was graduating as a bachelor. There was a fandom event that I decided to go all in to. For context, there used to be a huge debate on how many times a person should enter in an event, but in my mind, the more exposure the better. My graduation and the event took place at the exact same time, which was cool, but what hurt me was what happened after.

I was lucky enough to be accepted into field school (when you travel to do outdoor excavating) for my major. I’m an anthropologist-- it was an honor. I didn’t plan in advance for it, and if anything, I thought that I would be committed completely to the events and my 5 or what ever entries at the time. I’ve always prided myself in communicating with others, so I made sure to let my partners in the event know what was going on. I was so excited to be going on my first ever excavation and no one at the time said anything otherwise, in fact, they all seemed incredibly supportive. 

What I didn’t know was that I would be called out by name in the event feedback response by one person who felt that I didn’t take the event seriously enough and that I should’ve prioritized my time accordingly. Two of the mods let me know because it referred to me directly, though the name of the submitter was not included. It was not only a slap in the face, but a dumbfound moment that reminded me that wow, fandom content really is someone’s life out there. My enforced silence because of lack of internet in the woods actually upset someone and made them believe that I wronged them, because I put my real life ambitions first before a fandom event.

It was then when I woke up and I remember very clearly thinking to myself: I don’t want to be like them. I don’t want to treat my fandom life seriously. I want to participate in fandom for fun, not out of duty. I don’t want to prioritize this life because in the end, if I am hated for putting my work and education first, then I don’t want it.

(For context, I suspect that it was the same person who made a 200 note call out on me during the fandom tension. I respected this person immensely, but I also treated them like the flawed person I believe everyone is. I’m sure because of this, I’m pretty much trash in their eyes, which is totally fine. They have really cute cats so they can’t be all too bad. Don’t look into it too deeply.)

Once my month long field school was up, I was already used to not being on the internet or any of my social media accounts. I didn’t play my mobile games for a month. I didn’t read the news for a month. It was like going cold turkey on the internet, which reshaped my habits entirely. The only time that I had online within that time span was during the weekend, but I spent my time working on my projects and catching up with friends instead of being on apps.

I was also completely fed up with tumblr’s mobile app at the time, so one by one, I deleted my apps. Good bye to tumblr, snapchat, what little I used of instagram, twitter, everything. The only thing I kept was facebook, which was because it is the main platform that I use to message my boyfriend. That meant that any friends I retained from the fandom (who I still contact now) were also friends who had the chance to add me on facebook.

This was the cause of my 2 or 3 year hiatus on tumblr, and therefore the fandom. I occasionally checked back every 6 months to do a few fandom events, but I have several unopened messages and notifications that I haven’t been able to get to. I open my instagram for a few days once a year, and I only go onto twitter if my friends tell me (through facebook) that they dm’d me a post there.

When I left my online persona behind, I quickly strengthened my in person connections. New drama that erupted every other day became replaced with starbucks and boba runs. Reality TV shows replaced fanfiction. Text messages replaced the tumblr activity feed (which still doesn’t work on mobile BTW). I study at cafes unironically with friends instead of typing alone in my room. Overall, it opened my world considerably.

I still like making fun of myself and I try not to take myself seriously. I still make self depreciative memes to send to friends but then double up with kermit heart pics. I’m still a plot bunny, I still write my fics, I still watch my anime, I still play video games, I still sleep at 4am, I still take my depression medication, I still love potatoes, I still use my voice for people who can’t find theirs yet. But I think I’m in a much healthier mindset now, even if I still make stupid shifty posts calling out bad behavior.

Nowadays, I’m working on my Master’s degree in secret. My parents don’t know about it because my mom doesn’t like that I want to go out and do unladylike things like getting an education. I tutor kiddos and I’m really good with younger children, but I’m not going to do anything with kids because I just don’t want to. Instead, I want to work at an archive or a museum to bring my library interests and my anthropology background together. If I had my dream job, I would be a marine archaeologist; however I love my boyfriend of 8 years whom you probably all remember and I really came to terms with my grandeur dreams. I’m extremely happy with living in a small town with loved ones now, and I don’t need to move somewhere far away from my parents to be content. It’s a huge realization.

From 2018 to 2020 I got into actual drama in person while I was job hunting. Adult people suck and honestly it’s kind of embarrassing how ill equipped some people are. Even so, I currently work in middle schools as a media assistant. One of those realms is the library, and honestly it’s like fulfilling a prophecy. As much as I love the social aspect, public schools are an absolute train wreck.

I’m going to wrap this up now. This post is meant to help me close the past and move forward because the fandom culture feels different now. Things from several years ago don’t need to resurface. I want to enjoy my life fully, and fandom life is one of those aspects that I truly did enjoy. I’m going to keep using my voice and act like a fool, but I’m also not going to be losing sleep because of this. People are going to talk about you no matter what, whether positively or negatively, and it’s important to not take it personally.

Idk, go enjoy yourselves. Do things for yourself. It’s more fun that way.

[prorevenge]

Got an asshole fired and helped a co-worker get a job they wanted.

About 20 years ago, I got a job at a warehouse/ delivery place, pulling and delivering windshields. When I started, there were 6 drivers - 1 old white guy who'd been there since humanity existed, 4 young black guys, and me (white female). I mention this only because, unfortunately, it does become important later. There were also 4-5 people in the office running sales/ admin, including the only other female at the company. She'd wanted a delivery job, but had been told "that's not a woman's job" so was stuck in the office. The guy who hired me made a big deal about how he'd stuck his neck out for me, and was getting crap from his buddies for hiring a woman. There was some undertone about equal opportunity, but I've never counted on that and made sure I went above and beyond.

At the time, it was a locally-owned place, and rules were not really standardized about most things. In theory, each driver was supposed to take orders for the next route scheduled, load up the next available truck, and head out. In reality, there was an unofficial pecking order, and each driver had "their" route/s and truck. As the new guy, I got the less-than-great pickup truck with an open-air rack and various problems; most of the other trucks were box trucks (think small moving trucks) so the windshields wouldn't get wet as they were delivered, and the driver could rearrange things inside the truck if the route got switched around for whatever reason. I also got the furthest-away route with the latest delivery times, so I usually got stuck in rush hour on the way back. I know the rules, though, so I shut my mouth, sucked it up, and waited for turnover to make me not-the-new guy and get a better truck/ route.

Surprisingly, turnover didn't happen. There were the usual problems with 2 of the workers not pulling their weight, but... no one ever got fired. The worst offender was, of course, the guy at the top of the unofficial pecking order, we'll call him Mike. Dude was huge - easily a foot taller than me (I'm not short), I'm pretty sure all he did was work and workout, and he constantly bragged about doing steroids to get bigger. He would only take the shortest run with the fewest deliveries and spend the rest of the time talking sh!t with the other drivers or just randomly vanishing. A couple months after I started, I got some big orders for my routes all in a row, and asked for help so I could gather everything, load up, and head out on time. This was not uncommon - there were several machines used for pulling the stock, so if you finished your orders early, you helped others who were behind. Not Mike, though - you'd think I'd asked him to skin a puppy. Got in my face, yelling about how dare I ask him to do anything, I'm just the new guy, get out of here and don't let him see me again, etc., you get the picture. One of the other guys I'd become friends with pulled me away and helped me get loaded up and out the door, but that never really sat right with me. Mike had never been friendly to me, but after that day, he'd go out of his way to be an ass - nothing big, but enough to seriously irritate me and intimidate the other guys to not talk to me when he was around.

A little while later, I mentioned the outburst to the lady in the office, and she told me why nothing would ever be done about Mike or anyone else. Apparently the personnel guy, we'll call him Tony, had gotten fired from his previous job over a complaint about racism. He'd used the phrase "Black Friday" to refer to, well, Black Friday: the day after Thanksgiving, when sales are supposed to get companies back in the black/ financially solvent. Apparently one of his employees claimed he used it as a racist remark, it got taken to court and somehow, Tony was found guilty and fired. Basically, that meant that he couldn't take any actions against a black worker ever again, because he's got a prior judgement against him. The drivers knew that, and Mike (and one other but he's not important here) absolutely used it to do the bare minimum required to stay employed. That didn't sit right with me either, but I was just a driver, and the new guy, so nothing I could do about it.

Until...

A couple months later, the owner did some necessary maintenance around the place, and one of the things done was getting rid of "my" old truck and buying a new-er one that was half-enclosed/ half open-air racks. The owner apparently said it should go to "whoever had driven the old truck" as an apology for not having heat/ ac in the old one, but I'm not super picky. Offered it to the old guy, because seniority, but he turned it down in favor of "his" truck that he was used to and was fully enclosed. I offered it to the two black guys who actually did their jobs and were pretty decent to me (when Mike wasn't around), but same thing - they wanted their own, enclosed trucks. Ok, cool. Newish truck for me! Spent the first day getting used to it, and stayed late off the clock getting it sparkling clean, inside and out. The only thing it lacked was the new car smell, everything else was polished, cleaned, buffed, shined, etc.

Well, apparently, the fact that I didn't bow and scrape to Mike pissed him off even more, and seeing the "new" truck out back all shiny and pristine was too much to handle. He was already out on a run when I came in the next day, so I loaded up and headed out as per usual. Got back about 5 minutes before his second run of the day was supposed to leave and he came storming out before I could even get out of the truck. Screaming profanity, "how dare you take my truck, get tf out of that thing, get your sh!t out, that's my truck, I'm gonna take it 'cause it looks good and I deserves it, you're just a bitch, you don't deserve anything nice, I'm gonna f**k you up," etc etc.

Side note: I don't tolerate bullies at all, and I don't back down easily. I was always the little kid, growing up, and I learned just how far I could push it, mouthing off and calmly standing up to kids bigger than me because "oh, you're so tough? You're gonna pick on a little girl?" As I grew up, I tended to work in "men's jobs," so I was used to taking some sh!t but also drawing a line firmly in the sand and defending it. I am occasionally surprised I haven't gotten decked a time or two, but I've gotten pretty good at reading a situation.

Back to the story: I'm sitting in the newish truck with Mike standing outside the door screaming profanity and threats at me. For all the sh!t that Mike talked, though, I got the feeling he was used to getting his way without actual violence. I calmly opened the door and got out, but left my personal belongings in the truck and locked the door behind me. He was doing his damnedest to intimidate me, getting up in my space, finger in my face, personal threats, etc. I started walking toward the office, which was all the way on the opposite end of the warehouse, and he followed me the whole way, still screaming, threats getting worse and worse, apparently ignorant to the fact that literally every single employee had stopped what they were doing and was watching us. I walked into the office and just stood there for about 4-5 minutes, staring at the owner while Mike just kept going off. He finally realized I wasn't reacting to him and ran out of steam, and you could see the realization of where he was register on his face, but he glanced over at Tony and smirked, probably figuring he was still untouchable.

In the silence that followed, I calmly said to the owner, "You have four black guys working in the warehouse." He nodded. "And you have one woman working out there." He nodded again, and I saw the light come on. Without looking at anyone else, I said, "I do not want to pull the gender card here, but if something is not done about this situation, I will have to take steps to ensure my safety." I grabbed the tickets for my next run, turned around, and walked back to the warehouse to start pulling the orders.

I'm not really sure what happened next, because all the other guys had mysteriously gotten loaded and left on their runs in record time, and I followed not long after. When I got back, Mike was no longer there, and one of the other guys was training the admin lady to be a new driver. Over the next week, I got quiet "thank you"s from her, Tony, and the other drivers who actually did work. The other slacker guy got fired a while later for possession with intent to distribute, I believe. I left about a year later to drive bigger trucks, but by then we had a pretty solid crew of drivers who helped each other out.

TL;DR: I worked as a warehouse/ delivery person with 4 black guys and an HR guy who'd been fired as a racist for using the phrase "Black Friday," so he couldn't take any action without being accused of racism again. One of the black drivers who thought he ruled the place didn't like that I got a newish delivery truck that no one else wanted, screamed and threatened me as I walked into the office so everyone could see; pointed out there were 4 black drivers and one female. Guy was fired.

​

Sorry, that was WAY longer than I thought it'd be when I remembered it. Let me know if anything's unclear or this isn't where it belongs.

(source) story by (/u/Manarelle)

[unscharf-an-den-raendern]

Interview with Ralf from 2005 (translated from German)

Read the original German version here: http://www.electroempire.com/index.php?thread/1755-ralf-h%C3%BCtter-kraftwerk-interview-2005/

They’re the most influential German band of all time, for a third of a century they advanced and shaped electronic music like no one else. During that time, they only gave about one hundred interviews worldwide, the living legends are considered to be media-shy. Now Arschmaden-rave-magazin managed to be the first German magazine since 2001 to get an exclusive interview with the Düsseldorf sound pioneers Kraftwerk. Hauke Schlichting was allowed to spend almost an hour on the phone with Ralf Hütter and found out that music gods are also completely normal people sometimes.

Hauke Schlichting: Are there many pre-order of the notebook edition of “Minimum Maximum” already?

Ralf Hütter: I think so. Kraftwerk is not just music, we also create the lyrics, the pictures and the entire visual concept. I’ve been doing that with my partner Florian Schneider since 1970. This notebook edition enables us to put a lot of ideas into effect that we had for a long time. And now that it's finished, it's a liberating moment.

Hauke Schlichting: I once saw you in the audience of a talk by Oskar Sala. I suppose that pioneers like Sala, John Cage and certainly Karlheinz Stockhausen were a source of inspiration for Kraftwerk...

Ralf Hütter: Especially in our living environment in the second half of the sixties. Our friends and we were involved in the art scene. Electronic music was not foreign to us.

Hauke Schlichting: In an old interview from 1976 you said: "The world of sounds is music.” The first thing that came to my mind was whether the members of Kraftwerk listened to and liked music by noise musicians or even industrial music? Is that a similar approach?

Ralf Hütter: I can only speak for myself now, but I definitely see a spiritual kinship there. Definitely.

Hauke Schlichting: You called your music "Industrial Folk Music" once...

Ralf Hütter: Yes, but not with an F. It was about "Industrielle Volksmusik", the English translated it. It was an idea of the electronic Volkswagen. That's a concept. We have always reported on everyday things. "Autobahn", for example, was an attempt to make everyday music.

Hauke Schlichting: Is there any electronic music from - let's say the last 20 years - that inspired you?

Ralf Hütter: Yes, especially this spiritual kinship between the two cities starting with a D.

Hauke Schlichting: Düsseldorf and Detroit!

Ralf Hütter: Right. We know the creative heads of Detroit like Derrick May, Mike Banks and Kevin Saunderson. And that's what we consider to be a real inspiration, alternating, which finds its sound in this language. The dynamic that's in there, like in here. This electric funk or whatever you want to call it, that's a spiritual kinship.

Hauke Schlichting: Were the first Cybotron records of Juan Atkins things that you already noticed back in 1981?

Ralf Hütter: We were also in New York earlier, where the record company took us to some afterhours in non-authorized clubs.

Hauke Schlichting: They already existed back then!?

Ralf Hütter: Yeah, sure, at the end of the seventies. Then we had the experience that Afrika Bambaataa played our song “Metall auf Metall”. I thought, oh, fine, and then more than a quarter of an hour went by and I started wondering, because the song is not that long. Until I realized that he combined it with several record players.

Hauke Schlichting: A live remix with turntables, so to speak...

Ralf Hütter: That must have been in '77.

Hauke Schlichting: Mr Bambaataa is definitely a pioneer as well.

Ralf Hütter: Definitely.

Hauke Schlichting: There are an infinite number of songs nowadays which obviously sampled Kraftwerk. You were once described as "the most sampled artists besides James Brown". Are you annoyed when this happens without being asked?

Ralf Hütter: In the right music it is mental communication. Creative feedback. But if they appear on any “cucumbers” (Translator’s note: Ralf means bad musicians) or purely commercial products, then our publishing house will take action.

Hauke Schlichting: Do you collect your own records? If you want to own all the Kraftwerk records, including all the different pressings, you’d have to collect several thousand.

Ralf Hütter: I think that's materialistic nonsense. It's like collecting beer coastes. That’s totally uninteresting. It's about music, not about some pieces of plastic.

Hauke Schlichting: But they say that you collect old synthesizers.

Ralf Hütter: Our studio has been changing constantly since 1970, there are always new things being wired, installed or programmed. Improved. So often some equipment is put away, first in the warehouse, because you might need them again. At some point they were standing there, nobody wanted them, then they got dusty, then reactivated in the Kling Klang Museum. Ten years later we restored and repaired them all to the latest state of the art. Now we have been asked if we could make them available for an exhibition, but at the moment we can't give them away because they are actually in use. Over the last twenty years, we have transferred all the original Kraftwerk sounds to the digital level. Together with our electrical engineers Fritz Hilpert and Henning Schmitz.

Hauke Schlichting: You used to take a lot of equipment weighing tons with you on tour.

Ralf Hütter: Yes, the Kling Klang Studio is our instrumentarium. It has been like that ever since the first concerts. At that time they were still single instruments or single racks with many cables. Then at some point we assembled them in multi-racks.

Hauke Schlichting: The live equipment was always identical to the studio equipment. Is that still the case now? The things you carry around with you now are much more compact.

Ralf Hütter: Now we play with the virtual Kling Klang Studio with laptops at concerts in real time and mobile. That's why we have been able to travel all over the world since 2002. Today we have complete access to the entire audio-visual show, which also changes a bit from concert to concert. That's what makes it interesting. We no longer have to build it up every day to reach a fixed status, we can work with it live. In the past we were on tour rather reproductively, a lot of things didn't work, that was actually a torture, these concerts back then. That's why we only did one tour, in 1975 ("Autobahn"), then for years almost nothing and in 1981 ("Computerwelt"), when we did another tour, we also used many tapes in addition to my analog sequencer, because our music was actually not playable live at that time.

Hauke Schlichting: The live DVD you’re releasing now gives the illusion that it is the complete recording of one concert. If you take a closer look, you will see that it has been put together from many concerts. Was there no concert that was great from front to back?

Ralf Hütter: We recorded and documented everything. We then selected the recordings based on quality and intensity. That was then put together. That is also our concept of electronic mobility. "Tour de France" should definitely be from Paris, "Autobahn" from Berlin, "Dentaku/calculator" from Tokyo. We had a lot more material available later, but we couldn't put that in. In Santiago de Chile, for example, the audience has the best timing in the world when clapping along. I've never experienced anything that synchronous before.

Hauke Schlichting: When Kraftwerk is in the studio, do you sometimes make music just for fun, just playing around a bit?

Ralf Hütter: We once said that the music composes itself.

Hauke Schlichting: That means constant trying out and jamming around?

Ralf Hütter: That's where we actually come from, we've been doing that since the late sixties. For more than a third of a century we've been walking on the same electronic path. We just try to be open for ideas. They come when you cycle, like “Tour de France”, they come when you drive, like “Autobahn”. Some things also arise from texts, from books, from all kinds of things. We use all mental ideas, we do not work according to one principle. The freedom lies precisely in the fact that all art forms are open to you today. It is a gift that we live in a time where you don't need a large orchestra and where you don't need a nobleman who puts gold ducats at your disposal. Now there is an autonomy that can be realized through the man-machine Kraftwerk.

Hauke Schlichting: Your studio seems a bit like a fortress against the outside world. But you have emphasized several times that you are not isolated at all, that you meet a lot of friends and actually lead a very normal life. But  we know relatively little about that. Does that mean that private life is the super important compensation for an artist's life?

Ralf Hütter: No, we see ourselves as scientists, as music workers. We do our work, we drink a cup of coffee in the morning, on weekends we ride our bikes. We go to clubs because the lively scene of electronic music is important to us. And that's where it takes place. We have been connected to club culture since the sixties.

Hauke Schlichting: Does that mean that you now travel more often or specifically to performances by live artists or DJs?

Ralf Hütter: Mostly that happens when we are on the road. If the travel plan allows it, because otherwise it can happen that you can't concentrate at concerts in the evening due to lack of sleep. Working at the screen, with the mouse, they’re very fine movements. Minimal movements with maximum effect on sound and images. Again a mental reference to this work "minimum-maximum".

Hauke Schlichting: Can you imagine working with other musicians?

Ralf Hütter: We already worked together with different musicians, especially with music engineers. For example with François K, with William Orbit, with Etienne de Crécy, with Orbital, with Underground Resistance.

Hauke Schlichting: The revision of your back catalogue is now finished...

Ralf Hütter: Yes, finally. It is also about clarity and now for the first time everything is as it was intended.

Hauke Schlichting: Can you release more albums in the future that way?

Ralf Hütter: Yes, also because the technical development has changed in our favour. We now have the right tools at our disposal, so we don't have to spend so much time on wiring and installation.

Hauke Schlichting: The teen newspaper Bravo quoted you in 1975 with the sentence: "One day they will imitate our music. Could you have imagined back then that this would really happen?

Ralf Hütter: Yes, we thought so at that time. We played the album to them in my old Volkswagen. We had a big loudspeaker in the back, we didn't have the kind of equipment we have today. And then my friend Florian and I drove on the motorway with our poet and painter friend Emil and Bravo. At the beginning of the seventies our music was mostly only played in special radio programmes, e.g. by Winfried Trenkler. Before "Autobahn", Kraftwerk only existed in this art and student scene. And then live, we come from this live music scene. That we now play electronic music all over the world again is something where the circle closes. Now it takes on the shape we imagined in our imagination at the time.

Hauke Schlichting: Thirty years ago you also said: "In twenty years, in our opinion, there will hardly be any groups with guitars and drums any more. For us these instruments belong to the past already today."

Ralf Hütter: Right.

Hauke Schlichting: But that didn't quite come true.

Ralf Hütter: There are many antiques. But that is still true. There are also still symphony orchestras. In our opinion, the thoughts or essence of the present can only be realized with adequate means.

Hauke Schlichting: You have very few concrete political statements in your music...

Ralf Hütter: Rather socio-political, from our everyday life.

Hauke Schlichting: You only find a concrete one in the new version of "Radioactivity".

Ralf Hütter: Yes, we inserted that because there were endless misunderstandings. We simply wanted to clarify these misunderstandings with one word ("Stop").

Hauke Schlichting: Because of the last album the topic of cycling was once again massively brought into the picture...

Ralf Hütter: I had written this lyrics in 1983 with my French friend Maxime Schmidt. Florian was experimenting with sounds at the same time with his first sampler. This resulted in the album concept "Tour de France". At that time we released only that one single under time pressure and then the ideas fell a bit into oblivion. However, this practically slumbered as a film script in a long version in the studio under the heading unfinished projects. And we just finished that now.

Hauke Schlichting: You have been active as cyclists for a very long time...

Ralf Hütter: Yes, since "Mensch-Maschine". The concept of "man-machine" has brought an awareness, from the pure sound field of music a dynamic physicality man-machine has conclusively emerged. We tried that out and the fascination has remained.

Hauke Schlichting: The unity of man and bicycle is still the man-machine.

Ralf Hütter: That's how it is.

Hauke Schlichting: The man-machine motif has always been a dream of mankind. It already existed with the Greeks, it played a major role with the alchemists, in E.T.A. Hoffmann's "Sandman", in the film "Metropolis" - there are countless examples.

Ralf Hütter: That had become reality for us. There was often the misunderstanding of the machine-man, but we were always concerned with man-machines. We are interactively connected with the machines, that has remained so until today, that is actually a synonym for Kraftwerk.

Hauke Schlichting: Was Kurt Schwitters' "Schmidt-Lied" from 1927 the model for the album "Radioaktivität"?

Ralf Hütter: I've never heard it.

Hauke Schlichting: May I quote from it?

Ralf Hütter: Yes, of course!

Hauke Schlichting: "Und wenn die Welten untergehn, / so bleibt die Welle doch bestehn. / Das Radio erzählt euch allen, / was immer neues vorgefallen. / Und funk ich hier ins Mikrofon, / hört man im Weltall jeden Ton. / Und bis in die Unendlichkeit, / erfährt man jede Neuigkeit. / Wir funken bis zum Untergang / ins Weltall kilometerlang." ("And if the worlds go under, / the wave will still exist. / The radio tells you all, / whatever new happened. / And if I radio here into the microphone, / you can hear every sound in space. / And to infinity, / you'll hear every news. / We'll radio until the end / to space for miles and miles."

Ralf Hütter: A spiritual bond!

Hauke Schlichting: It only remains for me to say that we all hope not to have to wait that long and we are looking forward to new material. You will be turning sixty next year, I hope that Kraftwerk will continue to produce music for a very long time and present it live. But if you've been cycling for 25 or 30 years, like you do, then you should probably be fit.

Ralf Hütter: Yes, we are.

Hauke Schlichting: Wonderful, good luck for the future and thank you very much.

[latesummernights]

WHAT. A. STRANGE. YEAR.

-is what I think when I look back on 2020. Today is 31 Dec'20 & I feel like I wanna write something. Not really sure about what to write but I think I'll just take this moment to be honest & vulnerable, pouring my thoughts & feelings about 2020 - the strangest year ever.

Let's start with something cliche: what I'm most grateful about. As you might have known, I've been working on Peach Over Berries, a business I started back then in mid-2019, and been focusing more during pandemic due to more free time. Still remember last Dec'19 we hit 1K followers (took me ~6months!!! Super slow) However this year it's growing really well, much more than I expected (P.S I'm the type that always set achievable goals for instant gratification lol) Never thought I'd think that I'll be able to live from Peach Over Berries, even tho my 9to6 job is still my main source of income. I used to think Peach Over Berries is my happy space. A playground where I could pour out my creativity & idealism, as well as try & fail & try again in many things. I have this weird urge of wanting major control in things that I do, which I can't really find in my 9to6 job. But as I’m getting more serious about it, somehow, sometimes, it begins to feel like a burden. I saw it coming tho. I expected it. I know when we consider something as our career, as something that could feed us, it’s not gonna be entirely a happy space. It’s going to feel like a burden at some point. I think I’ve said it somewhere in this blog that I’m naturally & raised as a competitive person and as I started to keep track of the numbers: followers, revenue, profit, engagement, etc - the burden starts to feel more & more real. Now the next step is, which is also something that I need to seriously think about: how to make peace with the burden & keep moving on. Anyway despite the negative feeling, I’m still tremendously grateful. Without the pandemic I don’t think it would happen this soon.

Moving on to something more personal… Prior to pandemic I’ve mostly been living apart from my family for years. I used to dislike being at home cause of some things I don’t think I’d share here. Turned out after ~9months of living together with my family again, actually it’s not as bad as it was before…and I kinda enjoy it?! I used to hate when people change as if I forgot that it could be for a better direction but now I’m happy to see our personal growth. However, I still feel like something is missing. I once read that we can never really relaxed & rest assured unless when we’re really alone - and I resonate with these words extremely well. Living with my family still feels like I need to be available all the time & I’m not sure how to explain but saying “don’t disturb me” won’t be a great help. Also, have I told you that my room has no window & there’s a hole for shared air-con with my brother? R.I.P privacy lol. I enjoy me-time a lot when I’m just doing my things with minimum distraction or just getting lost in my thoughts. Besides, when I’m completely alone I feel like I could be more honest with myself. I hesitate a lot in showing my hardships/crying in front of other people & as this pandemic brings a lot of negative feelings - it’s not easy to release them when I’m not alone. Well I hope by sharing this I don’t come off as if I don’t love my family cause I love them & I care about them. Heard it somewhere that distance is the 6th love language and I think if it’s included in the test it would be in my top 2 list lol. (#1 would still be act of service, I believe…or not?) Anyway I’m considering to rent a room next year & see how to balance my time alone while still connecting with my family. Finger crossed!

Despite my need of being alone, after all I’m still a human… and humans are social creatures lol. My family is quite strict about the pandemic (me too). Me & my brother are both working from home. We don’t really go anywhere, only eating out sometimes (MUST be outdoor & not too crowded so we could still apply social distancing) or rent Airbnb in town. We spray alcohol over everything that we touch. We limit interactions with other people and we do voting every time a family member wants to meet others. That being said, I rarely meet other people... and the pandemic makes me realize that my virtual social interaction capacity is actually pretty limited. Even with my closest ones, responding to text often feels heavy as well as initiating or joining calls. I desperately miss “real connection” with my closest ones and I truly hope next year will be better. I’ve shared about this before in my previous post so I won’t talk too much about it.

Talking about closest ones, I only have a very few of ‘em & I’d like to keep it that way. However, I love meeting new people and being inspired by their different ways of living. I constantly think that we’re only one decision away from a totally different life - but that one decision needs to be considered carefully, don’t you think so? There are consequences of each of the decisions that we make, and by knowing “real” people who take similar decisions, I believe I could make better assumptions of the consequences. I have some ideas in my mind on how to connect with more people but then…. the pandemic came. I guess for now I’ll just stick with watching Terrace House.

Lastly…I would like to share about the familiar feeling that I’ve been feeling all my life, which is getting more obvious during pandemic: emptiness. I feel like it’s becoming more often for me to suddenly pause when I’m doing something, questioning why the hell am I doing this. Then the circle of questions comes: okay I do this for this objective - but then what, then what, then what? I’m not a religious individual but I understand the main goal that I should aim according to my religion, but feels like I’m getting even further from it. I constantly find myself easily demotivated, it could be even just a few seconds away after the burning motivation that I felt. The thought of wanting to disappear also comes more often than ever. Can’t believe there’d come the day when I’d say this - but I miss joining intense meditation retreat. I think I’ll sign up for one after the world gets better.

—

Wow what a long post! Just realized that I shared lots of personal struggles (even tho not in detail). Actually one of my main sources of insecurities this year is that almost everyone around me seems to be doing just fine despite the pandemic, meanwhile I often feel that I’m not fine. The ones who share their struggles are usually the self-help accounts that I follow on social media, or people I don’t know personally. Thus I hope if in any way you’re experiencing similar feelings like mine, this writing could comfort you that you’re not alone. Also hope the world will heal soon & 2021 to be a better year for us!

[concealeddarkness13]

WHG Skylar Post Games Part 6

Tagging: @ratracechronicler (also thanks for Jaden and Rat!), @nightskywriter, @merigreenleaf, @maple-writes, and @onmywaytobe!

I was dressed up for the party with my sunglasses, and Tash escorted me to the party, but then they disappeared. At least they wouldn’t be following me everywhere.

But as soon as I thought that, President Poison On His Lips appeared in front of me with a small smile on his lips. “It is good to see you here, Skylar.” He held out his arm for me to take, and I had to swallow back bile before I took it. I was still being watched.

I smiled back. “Oh, I didn’t have much of a choice, did I?” I flinched as the machine gave me a small shock. Yep. They really were still watching.

He laughed. “Come now, my dear. I know you’ll enjoy this party. I have a special announcement that I wish for you to hear.”

And I’ve got a special presentation I can’t wait for you to see. I kept the smile on my lips. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

He escorted me to my seat and walked off to talk to other stupid Capitol people. I just sat there, munching on my food and staring at the people milling around. I didn’t have much of a chance to sit, though, because people crowded around me too quickly.

After about an hour of BS, someone in an elegant dress with sunglasses of her own shoved her way through the crowd and pulled me on the dance floor. I just automatically started dancing as my fake smile stayed on my lips.

The woman smirked. “Hello, my name is Rat, and I was the mentor for Absolon and Jaden. It was so unfortunate to see that they died. Even more unfortunate that I was in a hospital room while it happened.” She sighed dramatically. “The Capitol really needs to watch their food. I had such a bad case of food poisoning. Emphasis on the poisoning.”

My smile slipped a little. I had been watching to see if they would do anything before the party, but this was when they decided to try to rescue me? When President Poison On His Lips was right there? “That is unfortunate. Are you sure you are well enough to be here?”

She scoffed. “Oh, hun. I’m in the perfect condition to be here. Thanks for your concern, though. It’s appreciated. I’ll be sure to return the favor.” She winked at me, and I smirked, even though I really wanted to frown. I didn’t want to show to anyone that was watching that anything was wrong.

Someone in the crowd cried out, and I was about to look around to see what was going on, but Rat clicked her tongue, and I looked back at her. “Rude. Am I not pretty enough to keep your attention?” She laughed and started guiding me around the dance floor to the other side. “And you probably won’t be happy about this, but we’re doing this for your own good.” She paused. “Well, they are. I’m just here for the thrill of it.” Her expression was too hard to read to tell if she was being serious.

Crap. But I couldn’t try to stop them, or they really would get caught. I just had to hope that they had a good plan. Rat leaned close with a smile, as if to say something just to me. “Boondoggle. Look it up. It’s a word.” She smirked at me and pulled me off the dance floor, and people glanced at us with knowing smirks as she brought me to a secluded corner with a curtain up around it.

I couldn’t help but smile when I saw Jaden inside. He smiled back at me and held up what looked like a flashlight. He ducked his head. “This—this is the Disruptor. It will disable the machines they’re using to control you and track you. It won’t hurt. I just need to tap it over the machines.”

I nodded and held out my arm where the tracker was. He poked my arm and then moved over and poked the shocker. Nothing seemed to happen, but that didn’t mean anything.

I smiled at him. “Thank you. And be careful. I don’t want any of you getting caught.”

He smiled back. “Of course. But that means you too.”

I was about to respond when a voice boomed over a microphone. “Skylar Tresting. You are requested at President Snow’s side.”

Crap. Jaden bit his lip and put the Disruptor in one of his pockets, and I walked out of the enclosure, trying to keep as neutral an expression as possible.

Rat didn’t help matters. She sighed loudly. “But we were just getting started!” she whined.

I walked up to the table where my seat was and stood by President Poison On His Lips. He smiled down at me. “I apologize for pulling you away from your fun. I just want to make sure you hear this announcement.” He turned to the audience. “The Hunger Games has always been a source of excitement and entertainment for everyone in Panem! In my quest to always strive for a more exciting Hunger Games every year, I have found the perfect solution! Four tributes from each district will now be chosen to participate in the Hunger Games from now on, and the minimum and maximum ages have been changed! Tributes will be chosen from the ages of 10 to 20 years old now, and anyone who participated in the Hunger Games in the past but did not win can still be chosen to participate again!” He pointedly glanced at me, and I kept the smile frozen on my lips. Crap. He was guaranteeing that I would be chosen next year. And anyone else who escaped. Would we be able to escape a Reaping?

I frowned, though, when a hovercraft appeared from the mansion and started ascending. A few servants, which at second glance turned out to be Margot and Logan, were ushering people away from a spot in the middle. They were planning something. And President Poison On His Lips was frowning as well. Well, as good a time as any to show them my presentation.

I hacked into the projector (again don’t ask me how) and pushed my creation to play. The booming voice of a recorded President Poison On His Lips echoed through the party, but he wasn’t saying anything that he would really say.

“People of Panem, I am an idiot, part of the rebellion against my own country. I want to overthrow myself and then have myself executed.” It continued on, but I slipped away from him before he could try to grab me. And the shocker didn’t work and I didn’t see the mutt anywhere. They must have done something with that one too.

Just as Rat grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the hovercraft, I glanced back to see the mutt tackle President Poison On His Lips to the ground. Absolon whistled, and the mutt followed us onto the hovercraft, and everyone else worked on closing the doors before the Peacekeepers could get to us. I just stared. They had actually done it, and Holt was here, smiling slightly at me. I hadn’t seen him in so long. All the emotions pushed to be felt at once, and I didn’t even know how to feel.

[aminocasino257]

How to optimize yor windows 10 i5 pc for gaming

50 Finest Gaming Websites To Stop by In 2017

It really is time to recognize the very best gaming blogs of the year. EDIT:I used to watch the Feedback video over at G4 every single week, but it is gone down hill the last couple of occasions I watched it and now that Adam Sessler isn't on it and they have that girl from IGN that every person hates in just about every episode I just can't be bothered to watch it any much more. Nevertheless worth going back and watching some of the older ones though. Klepic employed to be on that show and back then in the early days was when it was the greatest. Back when they truly talked about gaming news with some semblance of intellect as an alternative of just gushing about whatever game they are told is cool this week.

Green Man Gaming , a global e-commerce technologies enterprise in the video games market, nowadays announced that gaming business veteran, Paul Eibeler, has joined the business as Board Advisor. Paul brings a wealth of know-how to Green Man Gaming by way of his practical experience of working at major game publishers, distributors and platforms in the interactive games sector.

The gaming industry saw a number of exciting developments in 2016 touching on distinct elements of the sector. Gaming technology is establishing in quite thrilling methods. The long promised revolution of virtual and augmented reality moved closer to realization. The mania around Pokémon GO with its mass industry appeal and utilization of mobile phones introduced untold millions to the potential of augmented reality. With its launch in India and South Asia it has turn out to be the poster child for the potential of mobile games offered its advanced technologies and the enormous eeee2.site Mobile gaming blog international smartphone penetration.

Right now is the day! I will be progressively releasing the names of the leading ten gaming blogs of 2014. Searching more than this list, I am positively blown away. So a lot of awesome posts this year! If you were disappointed by the Ennies… if you assume that the genuine deep thinkers in gaming commentary never get the focus they deserve… effectively, folks, we are going to repair that.

Green Man Gaming is a global pure play e-commerce and technologies business enterprise in the video games business fuelled by an unhealthy obsession with bringing the magic of games to everyone. The company's geeky expertise, data and IP sit at the core of the organization and is what drives it to develop into a technology leader in the video games ecosystem.

Why Some People Almost Always Make/Save Money With MATCHING

You can have your personal special Gaming Internet site and impress your online players with this totally functional WordPress Theme for On the net Games. Take a appear to our cool characteristics list beneath and you will see that the Gameleon theme will be a excellent choice to your projects and will convince you to acquire it in a minute! Also, if you are not hunting to establish gaming internet site, that is fine as well. Considering that most up-to-date update this theme functions none-gamer edition with similar functionality but noticeably various style.

The stereotypical image of the geeky gamer, sitting alone in his room, playing video games all night extended, is long gone. Gamers have come to be the real stars of social media. No other niche has grown so immensely with the age of social media than the field of gaming. Supported by social media like YouTube and the reside-streaming platform Twitch, the numbers of gaming channels boomed. No wonder that brands recognized the prospective that these gaming influencers bring with them. We have put with each other a list of some of the biggest gaming influencers you have to have to know.

Paul: Green Man Gaming, like numerous information driven technologies marketplaces, was born in a spreadsheet and continues to this day to be heavily data dependant. The business utilizes historical evaluation of correlated data to generate forecasts of buyer behaviour, as nicely as real-time information streams to augment those forecasts in genuine time.

Travel into a virtual world with a VR headset , where all of your senses will be treated to a barrage of stimulus from numerous sources. With the Oculus Rift + Touch Virtual Reality System , you'd have to prepare yourself for much more intense gameplays, more immersive action, and a entirely new and exhilarating gaming gift expertise as the package already comes with 6 VR games that will maintain your heart pumping through your chest. The Oculus Touch controllers are ingeniously made for optimum and unparalleled interaction with the many elements in the virtual world. You will need to have to meet certain method specifications on your pc, although. This also tends to make a great gift for nerds in your life.

The Game Fanatics brings to you accurate evaluations, podcasts, gadget articles, gaming articles, and weekly YouTube videos about good on the internet games. The internet site is devoted to displaying the planet some of the greatest games launched and the developers of the same. As a user reaches a gaming web-site, they expect to locate loads of visual content material and media files. So, give them what they want. In order to provide a well-structured presentation of your content material, use galleries on your site's pages and posts.

It is February! In 2017 that indicates that we get six extra weeks of winter AND your yearly dose of video game statistics and trends. We're taking a look at big events and shifts in the gaming sector and thinking about the current state of gaming. Take a peak, or keep for a week! All statistics are completely researched. See sources at the bottom of the page for additional information.

Gaming content on YouTube is some of the stickiest. Additional than 20 of the top rated one hundred YouTube channels with the most subscribers worldwide are gaming associated. Who's the most subscribed? That would be Let's Play creator PewDiePie , with over 32M subscribers. His loyal following now outnumbers the population of Canada. To give you some perspective, Google Trends shows that searches for PewDiePie on YouTube are on par with stars such as Eminem and Katy Perry. He's even made a cameo on South Park.

Alia Lia” Shelesh, much better known as Sssniperwolf is the initially female gaming influencer on our list. She began her YouTube profession by playing very first-person shooter games like Contact of Duty, Halo, and Far Cry. Her account currently consists of vlogs and different video games that she plays and has additional than 7 million subscriptions.

The HyperX Cloud Stinger is the very best sub-$50 Pc gaming headset you can present. It has a lot of attributes, but possibly most vital is the good quality audio and a mic that has a seriously good audio pickup. It also has a steel slider, an straightforward-to-adjust volume controls located on the bottom of the right ear cup, a swivel-to-mute noise-cancellation microphone, and flexible 90-degree rotating ear cups.

The essential piece of the cloud gaming puzzle is latency. A data centre can have the most highly effective, cutting-edge hardware running the most current titles at ultra-higher settings and framerates - but the user's knowledge will always depend on the speed of their connection. Games rely on true-time interactions, so any lag between a button press and the action playing out is detrimental. Tolerable latency varies across genres, but for quickly-paced shooters and action games, it needs to be kept to an absolute minimum to make certain a playable expertise.

[gdwessel]

Wrestle Kingdom 15 Night 2 - January 5, 2020; Tokyo Possibly Entering Another "State Of Emergency” This Week

The second night of the biggest date(s) on the NJPW calendar, Wrestle Kingdom 15, was held earlier today, and you can see it now on NJPWWorld or FITE TV. As expected, a lot happened here.

- January 5, 2021, Tokyo Dome (NJPWWorld, FITE TV)

STARDOM Offer Match: Utami Hayashishita, Saya Kamitani & AZM [Queen’s Quest] d. Maika, Natsupoi & Himeka [Donna del Mundo] (Kamitani > Natsupoi, Phoenix Splash, 9:48) (Untelevised Dark Match)

STARDOM Offer Match: Giulia & Syuri [Donna del Mundo] d. Mayu Iwatami [STARS] & Tam Nakano [Cosmic Angels] (Giulia > Nakano, Glorious Driver, 12:49)  (Untelevised Dark Match)

Provisional KOPW2021 4-Way Match: Toru Yano [CHAOS] d. BUSHI [Los Ingobernables], Bad Luck Fale [Bullet Club] & Chase Owens [Bullet Club] (Yano > BUSHI, Pinfall, 7:34) - Yano is the Provisional KOPW2021

IWGP Juniorheavyweight Tag Team Championship: El Desperado & Yoshinobu Kanemaru [SZKG] © d. Ryusuke Taguchi & Master Wato (Desperado > Taguchi, Pinche Loco, 13:20) - Despy/Kanemaru succeed their 2nd defense

NEVER Openweight Championship: Shingo Takagi [Los Ingobernables] © d. Jeff Cobb [The Empire] (Last of the Dragon, 21:11) - Shingo succeeds his 1st defense

SANADA [Los Ingobernables] d. EVIL [Bullet Club] (Moonsault Press, 23:40)

IWGP Juniorheavyweight Championship: Hiromu Takahashi [Los Ingobernables] d. Taiji Ishimori [Bullet Club] © (Timebomb II, 25:31) - Ishimori fails his 1st defense - Hiromu is the 88th champion 

IWGP Heavyweight & IWGP Intercontinental Championships: Kota Ibushi ©© d. Jay White [Bullet Club] (Kamigoye, 48:05) - Ibushi succeeds his 1st IWGP Heavyweight defense - Ibushi succeeds his 1st IWGP Intercontinental defense

Making his first defense of the Double Gold a mere 24 hours after winning the belts from Tetsuya Naito, Kota Ibushi defends the titles against Switchblade in what has to be the third-longest IWGP Heavyweight title match since I started this blog (the other two being the Best 2 Out Of 3 Falls match at Dominion 2018, and the 60-minute time-limit draw at Dominion 2017, both featuring Kazuchika Okada v. Kenny Omega). Ibushi was victorious, and was immediately challenged by SANADA, who vanquished his former partner EVIL earlier in the show, for the belts, which was met with a handshake. Backstage, Ibushi swore he was going to unify the titles, which puts a nice little bit of confusion as to whether or not these are still separate titles, or a situation like AJPW’s original Triple Crown. Certainly in the Naito era, they were defended as if one unified title. But as Naito himself complained, NJPW have never been clear about this at all. There certainly are arguments both for, and against, the Double Gold being a unified title. We’ll have those arguments soon enough.

Jay White, in the meantime, cut one HELL of a promo, claiming he is “done,” and he was speaking not as Switchblade, but “Jamie,” and how much he sacrificed in the midst of a pandemic, and still his New Era has not come to pass. He claims he will be at New Year Dash!! tomorrow, but not after that. The going theories are:

He is quitting NJPW and going to either AEW or WWE

He is either quitting, or getting kicked out of, Bullet Club, which will lead to a babyface turn

This is just Jay being the fragile edgy edgelord that the Switchblade character always has been, and this is all a ruse.

I would say the latter two are the most likely, as I don’t think Jay White is quitting NJPW. Kenny Omega said this same line after failing against Okada at WK11 too. He was back soon enough. I don’t know about Jay as babyface at this stage; certainly, when he was a Young Lion and on excursion at ROH, he was a good baby. (My partner certainly wants him to be that again!) Switchblade became the top heel in NJPW, with such an unorthodox promo style, some very sneaky cheating offense, and got the crowd to absolutely hate him the way he should be. That’s a very rare talent nowadays in modern professional wrestling. Either way, tomorrow’s show maybe will shed some light.

Hiromu Takahashi, by virtue of winning BOSJ27, beating the Super J-Cup 2020 winner, AND regaining the IWGP Juniorheavyweight title, is now the unquestioned Ace of the junior division, taking that particular vacancy left by KUSHIDA. And really, we always could see that coming. This match being the semi-main of a Wrestle Kingdom shows what kind of power Hiromu has as a performer, and how much of an absence there is when he is not there.

Shingo v. Cobb absolutely banged, and you need to see that match for sure. Master Wato does not have a title as yet. He will get one soon I am certain. Toru Yano begins 2021 the way he left 2020, by being the Provisional KOPW2021, even tho it was at the cost of BUSHI. The two STARDOM matches went off very well from what I am told, but we won’t ever know for certain, as STARDOM even confirmed these matches won’t be on STARDOM World either. Alas.

The announced attendance today was 7,801, which is a lot closer to what the government had in mind. Even so, that is a 5,000+ drop from yesterday. Last year’s shows, which were not in a pandemic, saw a 10,000 or so drop between Night 1 and Night 2 as well. Certainly the pandemic and the limited amount of seating allowed played a part, but also, I have to think that the crowd is still more in tune with the traditional January 4 date for this show that’s been in effect since 1992. This year’s attendance really shouldn’t be any sort of measuring stick, due to the pandemic, and everything surrounding it. The two-night WK may not be necessary next year. But it may be. 

On that note, there is talk of Tokyo going into a state of emergency (read: lockdown) as soon as the end of this week:

The Japanese government said on Monday it was considering declaring a state of emergency in and around Tokyo as coronavirus cases climb, casting fresh doubt over whether it can push ahead with the summer Olympics and keep economic damage to a minimum.

Citing government sources, Kyodo News reported that preparations were being made for a state of emergency that would take effect by Friday and last about a month.

Tokyo and the three surrounding prefectures, which have requested an emergency declaration, asked residents to refrain from non-essential, non-urgent outings after 8 p.m. from Friday until at least the end of the month, and said eateries must close by that time.

Economy Minister Yasutoshi Nishimura, in charge of coronavirus countermeasures, said the government would make a decision on an emergency “as soon as possible” after listening to experts.

Quite a bit of this has been foisted into the spotlight internationally as sumo yokozuna Hakuho has tested positive for COVID-19, as well as other rikishi not in Hakuho’s stable, and there is talk that the upcoming year-opening basho, due to start Sunday at Tokyo Ryogoku Kokugikan, may not happen at all. Nothing has been decided yet as far as I can see. This won’t affect New Year Dash!! happening tomorrow. This may definitely affect the New Beginning cycle of shows, the vast majority of which take place at Tokyo Korakuen Hall, with another at Tokyo Ota Ward Gymnasium. Things can change very quickly.

Wrestle Kingdom 15 is now over. Tomorrow’s New Year Dash!! card will give us some idea at how the NJPW year will start to take shape. Jay’s promo definitely put the cat among the pigeons. The show will be on NJPWWorld, and maybe on FITE TV although I can’t find that for certain. As is tradition, this is a mystery card, not revealed until the show starts.

Hope you enjoyed both nights of Wrestle Kingdom 15, and here’s to a thrilling 2021 for New Japan Pro Wrestling.

[katzenkrieg]

Headcanon - Cam’s Thoughts on Emet-Selch and Emet-Selch’s on Cam

Obviously all spoilers for ShB and 5.3! Read at your own risk.

Also, wow, this is 5 pages long. I knew it felt like it took a long time to write >_>

TL;DR - after 5.3, Cam is like “WHEEEE I’M FREEEEE” and running around happily being a dork and feeling good about everything for the first time since the Empire invaded Eorzea (he was somewhere between 20 and 25 then; he’s 35 now). And Emet-Selch is like, “Oh, fine. :shrug.”

Cam’s thoughts on Emet-Selch and the events of ShB and 5.3 are the first 3/4s; scroll down about 3/4s for my take on Emet-Selch’s perspective.

Emet-Selch/Hades (canon, Unsundered Ascian from the Source, founder of the Garlean and Allagan Empires, and member of the Amaurotine Convocation; likely thousands of years old) - Prior to arriving in the Tempest and defeating both Emet-Selch under his true name and, later, Elidibus (though Elidibus never revealed his true name--it’s possible he no longer remembered it), Cam’s feelings toward Emet-Selch were incredibly straightforward--he wanted an excuse to punch him in the face and be done with him. Despite Emet-Selch’s willingness to aid the Scions in the First, including bringing Y’shtola back from her second self-imposed exile in the Lifestream, Cam saw absolutely no reason to trust him. Emet-Selch showed up when it was convenient to him, took the minimum action possible to ‘prove’ his good intentions towards the Scions, and dropped just enough information to unsettle the Scions but not to truly help them. It’s not hard to catch on to manipulation that obvious, and Cam had had enough experience with manipulation by the time he arrived in the First to call a spade (or an Ascian) a spade. If Lyse had been summoned to the First instead of Y’shtola and Urianger, Cam, Alisaie, and Lyse would have attacked and subdued Emet-Selch the instant he showed up; in retrospect, as is often the case, Cam regrets not listening to himself and choosing instead to assume Y’shtola and Urianger had more of the knowledge and expertise required to make decisions surrounding near-arcanic entities.

Still, some of Emet-Selch’s behavior did genuinely unsettle Cam. Cam might have expected Elidibus to approach him and try to make a deal with him, offer him support, or direct him towards a course of action--that’s what Elidibus seems to do, after all. But Emet-Selch was something new; he didn’t seem to fully be engaged in playing the part of the Ascian manipulator. He repeatedly invited Cam to engage with him, despite a surface veneer of disinterest and contempt, without any clear motivation for doing so. He didn’t seem to be seeking friendship or to ingratiate himself to Cam; whenever Cam *did* choose to take Emet-Selch’s invitation to talk privately, Emet-Selch would quickly push him away again, dismissing anything Cam had to say or simply pulling back into apparent boredom and apathy. Eventually Cam decided this must be another manipulation technique--something intended to keep Cam unbalanced and to play on any curiosity he might have about Ascians generally or Emet-Selch specifically. By the time they reached Mt. Gulg, Cam had largely decided not to engage with Emet-Selch; Emet-Selch’s asking whether Cam remembered Amaurot and hinting at his own memories of it and grief at its loss earlier had actually managed to get under Cam’s skin, and he wasn’t interested in letting the Ascian relate to him individually any longer. Being offered a chance at ascension and survival of all future Calamities at the cost of standing aside to let whole worlds die wasn’t something Cam wanted to hear more about.

Mt. Gulg sealed Cam’s belief that he should have trusted himself and attacked Emet-Selch when the Ascian first revealed himself. It also left Cam as angry at himself and the other Scions, and as determined to go off on his own and somehow finish *everything,* as he has ever been. Cam’s not a lone wolf or someone who believes he has to do things himself to protect others or preserve his ego; in fact, he’s more apt to think he *can’t* do things entirely on his own and doubt his abilities unless he has more scholarly or politically-savvy support at his side. Urianger and the Exarch’s secret plans, the Exarch’s being taken prisoner, and Cam’s own imminent full transformation into a Lightwarden, though, meant Cam felt the end coming. If he was going to end up as a monster, something that could never again be part of the world(s) he cared about, then he wanted to end it on his own terms. And that meant rescuing the Exarch, pushing aside the Scions (especially Urianger, who, once again, had kept secrets and been complicit in enabling others’ possibly unnecessary sacrifices), and destroying Emet-Selch. And then finding some way to imprison himself so that others would have the opportunity to kill him before he could do harm.

The Scions and the Crystarium’s residents as a whole brought him up short, of course, and checked his desire to dive headfirst into self-destruction. As he worked together with the other Scions to reach the Tempest, Cam’s anger began to give way to similarly uncharacteristic despair and distancing of himself from his friends--internally, in large part, though he did also begin holding himself physically apart from them whenever he was able to, always keeping a small ways ahead of the group or off to the side, often out of sight ‘scouting.’ Rescue the Exarch, destroy Emet-Selch, find some way to imprison the Lightwarden he would then become--Cam had stopped seeing anything beyond that. It would save his friends and possibly the First--or at least give them time to save themselves. And that was all Cam could hope for.

Reaching the Tempest and the recreated Amaurot made those feelings more intense, rather than less so. While the other Scions felt the sense of loss associated with being Sundered and close to reminders of Amaurot, Cam felt it with an almost crippling sharpness--enough so that he assumed it had to be related to his growing aether hunger and impending transformation and largely just tried to force himself through it rather than stop to examine it. Hythlodaeus’ revelation that Ardbert and Cam originated from the same Amaurotine--and one Hythlodaeus had once known well--didn’t really register around all of that pain. (Ardbert, on the other hand, did pay close attention to the news and drew his own conclusions from it, leading to his offering to Rejoin with Cam later.)

When Cam and the Scions finally confronted Emet-Selch and learned the full story of Amaurot and its fall, Cam still really didn’t have much emotional energy left to care. He’d fought people twisted by grief and the desire to re-create and relive the past before; this was just more of the same on a larger scale.

Only after Rejoining with Ardbert, surviving the fight, and having time to recover back in the Source did Cam actually start to think about who Emet-Selch and the Ascians were (or had been) and about the way Emet-Selch had related to him and how Cam himself had felt around the remembered city of Amaurot. He tentatively concluded that Emet-Selch--or, more accurately, Hades--had been testing Cam the whole time, both wanting and not wanting him to be whomever Hades and Hythlodaeus had once known. Maybe being able to contain the Light of all of the Lightwardens combined would somehow have convinced Hades that Cam was enough that person to be seen *as* a person and brought directly into the Ascians’ plans as an equal. Cam also suspects that Emet-Selch’s final reveal of his true name was a last-ditch attempt to see if Cam would suddenly “wake up” to being his Amaurotine ancestor if Emet-Selch revealed a name and form that person would have been certain to know.

In any case, Cam was relieved to have failed all of those tests. Whoever his soul (and Ardbert’s) might have been in the ancient past, those people had died long ago and passed their aether down to others who went on to live their own lives and be their own people. Escaping transforming into a world-devouring monster was good; escaping the attempts of ancient demi-gods to awaken a fellow demi-god in Cam and erase the significance of his own life and existence was *also* good. Cam was mostly left feeling frustration and regret that Emet-Selch, whether due to being Tempered or due to jaded bitterness (or both), couldn’t bring himself to just *tell* Cam about the person he saw in Cam and was trying to prod him into being. If you hold grief in for millennia and feel it’s impossible to share your memories and your sorrow with anyone else, of *course* it’s going to destroy you. Cam would have been happy to listen, as long as it didn’t come with the expectation of being or becoming the person he was hearing about.

Prior to Elidibus’ reemergence in Ardbert’s body, Cam hadn’t really talked about any of this with Cid, the Scions, or any other friends or family members. Following his first fight with Elidibus in Ardbert’s body in the Tempest and Hythlodaeus’ revealing the Convocation’s memory stones--including the stone of Azem, created by Hades out of love for his friend--, Cam felt resignation creep back in. Though he’d been given the stone, he didn’t use it; it was obvious to him, though, that he would almost certainly be forced to use it to defeat Elidibus. Which meant that the fate he thought he’d escaped--his existence being erased to give way to something inhuman and immortal--was still impending. In a way, Hades was going to win and get what he wanted even in death.

Contrary to Cam’s expectations, though, the final fight with Elidibus as the Warrior of Light incarnate and finally being forced to draw on the stone of Azem and play into Hades’ plans for him *lifted* those fears from Cam entirely. When the moment came when Cam finally had to draw on Azem’s stone to survive the Void, it didn’t overwrite his own personality or memories or change his feelings towards his family and friends or towards the Ascians he had fought for so long. Instead, he only felt a conviction that who he was and the path he was walking and continued to walk were in keeping with the path walked before and that whatever the past had been, it would stay in the past and do no more than help him continue to assert the right to forge his own way forward. Even feeling Azem’s voice within him was no stranger than speaking in Ardbert’s voice immediately after their Rejoining. 

And whatever or whoever it was that appeared to lend Cam the power he needed to return from the Void and defeat Elidibus--whether it was Hades’ own stored version of a previous self, like his re-creation of Hythlodaeus, or the actual soul of Hades, lingering before finally passing into the Lifestream--it *did* significantly change Cam’s feelings about Hades. Together with Hades’ final request to remember Amaurot and the lives of those who had come before (but not to re-create and *become* them), Hades’ shade in its final appearance felt different from the Ascian Cam had hated. Instead of saving Cam *as* Azem, Hades brought Cam back to finish the fight as himself. 

Following Elidibus’ defeat and the Scions’ triumphant return to the Source, Cam has had time to ask Cid, Y’shtola, and Urianger about Tempering and how and when its effect ends upon a soul’s physical death. They’ve all told him that no one, scientific researcher or arcane researcher/scholar, knows for certain, but Tempering does seem to end when a soul passes into the Lifestream and returns again. This has left Cam uncertain--was the Hades he’s now seen twice after the Ascian’s physical death finally free of Tempering? Even before returning to the Lifestream? Or was the specter that saved him from the Void the memory of a younger Hades--someone who still had some faith in his friends and in the future and some ability to change?

Regardless, defeating the last (to his knowledge) of the Unsundered Ascians *and* the incarnation of the Warrior of Light in primal form; freeing Elidibus to remember, grieve, and move on; putting Ardbert’s physical existence finally to rest; realizing that he would never actually have to *become* Azem; and receiving Hades’ blessing, from whatever version of the man it was given, have left Cam almost euphoric with relief. He’s survived, as himself, everything he’s most feared--the threat of ascension, whether as primal, Lightwarden, or Amaurotine--and everyone invested in pushing him towards any of those transformations is gone--and gone having accepted Cam’s existence as himself. Of course, having defeated the Warrior of Light as a primal concept doesn’t ensure that that primal can’t be resummoned and reembodied--but, psychologically, having defeated it, Cam *feels* as though that threat is gone.

Still riding the high of finally feeling secure in his own continued existence, Cam actually feels gratitude towards Hades--and towards Azem, whomever he may have been. He’s added the Tempest to the places he visits every year to honor people he knows and cared about who have fallen, and has begun very tentatively (and always with accompaniment, in case he *does* run into any threats of being overwritten) working with Azem’s memory stone and exploring the Tempest for records of the lives of the Convocation. He’s also talked with G’raha about whether the other memory stones’ records might still exist within the Crystal Tower in the First. None of these have been things he’s pursued urgently, but he is open to learning more about Amaurot, Hades, Elidibus, Azem, and the Convocation in a way he wasn’t before. They seem very securely like people in the past now, people it would be safe to learn about and who, like Ardbert and the First’s Warriors of Light, might have a story worth hearing and one different from the tale told either by common memory or by themselves.

On Hades’ part, he *did* see Azem in Cam, and Cam was correct--that drove his hot-and-cold opening up to and pulling away from Cam. After the Sundering, Hades had run into shards of Azem several times. Hades approached his first encounter with a shard with some hope that the shard might remember being Azem and remember Hades; discovering that the only thing the shard had in common with Azem was his tendency towards not listening, making friends with and helping everyone and his brother, and undermining other people’s plans, Hades’ bitterness and resentment towards any future shards he might encounter solidified. Meeting any of these shards felt like meeting a stick figure drawing of a lost sibling; just enough of the broad strokes there to suggest the person Hades missed, but none of the substance and detail that had made that person someone who had been part of Hades, in the way a close sibling is part of someone. Eventually, Hades disengaged from anything to do with shards of Azem and deliberately kept himself from learning anything about them; the other Ascians could do what they wanted with them. 

Irritated by Elidibus’ insistence on pulling him back into the struggle to force the Rejoining, Hades was more irritated by having to work again with a shard of Azem--with *many* shards of Azem, essentially, since Cam was partially Rejoined many times over. And especially since Cam was the closest any shard had yet come to looking like Azem, even down to having the Amaurotine’s mask markings as facial tattoos--and clearly had no clue about the significance of either those markings or his appearance. (It was also incredibly irritating that someone *not* an Ascian could pull a shard of one of the Convocation members across the rift between worlds; Hades wouldn’t have admitted it to himself or anyone else, but *that* degree of ownership/influence over Azem was something he considered appropriate only if *he* had it.)

Watching Cam, Hades had to deal again with the hope that maybe this time a shard would *remember* something. Along with his appearance, Cam’s behavior was incredibly similar to the Convocation member’s, to the degree that Hades kept initiating conversations with Cam to test this and then withdrawing when Cam’s answers sounded uncannily like Azem but showed no self-awareness of that fact. 

Cam was also correct that, had he been able to contain the Light without transforming, Hades *had* promised himself that he’d see that as a sign the man was worth working with and had the potential to become Azem in full, even if he seemed worthless at the moment. Cam’s failure increased Hades’ disgust and anger--not just at Cam, but at himself for allowing himself to hope at all. Still, Hades would have the satisfaction of using the twisted remnants of Azem to destroy the First and hasten the eventual full reincarnation of Azem.

Again, Cam denied him that pleasure when Cam showed up in the Tempest still in human form and still in (fading but there) control of himself, with the same barely-human barely-sentient friends by his side. Hades still gave him one last chance, exposing him to the fall of Amaurot and then showing one of his true forms and sharing his true name with Cam, moments after the man’s soul suddenly became even *more* like Azem’s. 

Nothing. 

But Cam still won. And the weight of Tempering and the long fight could finally be set down.

Whether Cam was Azem or not, Hades had to accept that Cam was carrying on the legacy that Azem had begun--and that Hades no longer had the power to deny him the right to claim and walk that path. Whether the version of Hades that appeared in the fight against Elidibus was a memory or Hades’ actual lingering soul, Hades had accepted, before fading entirely, that the only way to honor Azem’s past existence was to allow Cam to continue his own.

[gambinocasino973]

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