#but I have also seen stories that treat his addiction as a very cut and dried thing and that is simply. not realistic

[rosieofcorona]

I know this is gonna get me thrown in the stocks but you can't tell me Cullen doesn't still crave lyrium after he quits taking it. Not just when he has nightmares and feels bad, but when he feels euphoric, too. He thinks about it when the Inquisitor goes down on him and he thinks about it after a victory and he thinks about it during a particularly invigorating training session. That's not to say he wants everything that comes with it, or even that he's tempted enough to go back. But that's how addiction works (especially with substances that make one feel powerful) and I think it's wild to pretend he'd never think about it in those contexts again.

[deadbeat-motel]

ᗩᑎGEᒪ ᗪᑌᔕT ᖇEᗪEᔕIGᑎ

Me going talky-talky below the cut

I wanted to redesign this guy the most because of so many issues I have with his actual design, namely:

The suit is a travesty.... for both his background as a hypersexual porn actor and a previous mafia member. It does not read well as a good design for an Italian mobster of the 1920s. Do you really not think he would rock a pinstripe? I mean come on, those three horizontal lines on his suit look really tacky to me. You should've taken that pinstripe suit from Sir Pentious and given it to him instead. and not only that but it doesn't even read well as a porn actor who has no qualms about being sexualized and pretty much even revels in it. why does the suit basically cover him up like a conservative politician? come on, let him show off a bit more.

WHY A BOWTIE??? WHY??? A SIMPLE GOOGLE SEARCH WILL SHOW YOU THAT A NECKTIE WAS MORE IN FASHION DURING THAT TIME RATHER THAN A BOWTIE. The bowtie was something that pissed me off so much about the design.

He's not a very good spider design. the only thing about him that looks remotely spider-like is that he has those eye dots under the eyes and the many limbs.... nothing else. not the very large abdomen or the actual 4 pairs of limbs a spider is supposed to have. Not even a web pattern on him like Spiderman who embodies "spider" more than him.

YOU TOOK THE FLOOF OFF OF HIM??? THE ICONIC FLOOF???? unacceptable. In retaliation, I'm giving it back bigger than ever you coward!

Anyways, here's the thought process I went through with this design:

He needed to embody his Mafia/porn addict themes through his clothing so I went with an outfit that looks like a slutty Halloween costume of a mobster. Plus it would have also differentiated him from his family who most likely would've had a stronger Mafia vibe than he did.

Gave him a tiny little hat too because i thought it looked cute.

I remember hearing that Angel Dust's most iconic part was his head's unusual shape, so I decided to keep it on him but tweaked it a little bit with his hair covering the other half of his face. (This was for some kind of lore reason, maybe he's insecure about his heterochromia, That's where he was shot and has an X over it, or his eyes are malformed on that side, still thinking about it)

Originally was going to have matching black gloves for his arms too but then it was harder to see what was his arm or leg so I let him have nothing instead to keep the pairs of limbs separated

Gave him some hoop rings too because why not let a bad bitch have one?

I've seen necktie cat collars go around earlier and thought it would fit well for Angel Dust considering I didn't give him a shirt and that i took off his choker as well.

Aside from a MASSIVE flooff, I also gave him a massive spider "butt" with the missing pair of limbs. I decided to make it legs because honestly, It's much harder to think of how he would emote naturally with 6 arms. Plus it was interesting to think about how a 4 legged bipedal would work. Immediately my first thought went to Squidward Tentacles from both the show and the musical but then it wouldn't work because of the complexity of the legs. It's main purpose now is to both hold up the large spider "butt" and be his self-defense when being approached from behind.

Originally was going to have those big ass claw things on his mouth (I'm most likely wrong but the 'chelicerae' thing?) but thought it would clutter the design too much and because there was a big possibility that Val probably ripped them off of him when he had bitten once, if not multiple times, in self-defense.)

I'll probably talk about him more when he pops up in an episode I'm going to go in-depth about or give him his own dedicated rant about how Vivziepop treated his story.

[reedeemable]

One subtle thing I like about Hank and Gavin’s relationship is that despite Gavin’s opinion and open disdain for Hank’s behaviour, Hank never retaliates.

We’ve seen Hank get physical with people who piss him off/talk shit to him (punching Perkins and grabbing Connor by the collar) so it’s well within his personality to assault or manhandle Gavin if he pisses him off but he never does.

Gavin’s main gripe with Hank is his drinking. We know from the story that his addiction has not been the norm for him and that it’s come with his grief from losing Cole.

Neil Newbon has said that he headcanons that that Gavin had once looked up to Hank and that Gavin fears that one day he may end up jaded like Hank so seeing someone he admired fall from grace would have cut Gavin deeply.

It’s not also just the drinking but the showing up to work as a police officer drunk, pulling his weapon on fellow officers as well (which Gavin has heavily implied wasn’t a one time thing) and being shown leniency through it all mostly because the Captain of the DPD is Hank’s friend that would also piss Gavin off.

Given all of this and Gavin’s tendency to be honest and upfront, it’s no wonder he treats Hank the way he does. Gavin’s dislike of Hank does not come from nowhere.

Now back to the original point.

That’s why I like the detail of Hank never telling Gavin to fuck himself because Hank is not stupid. He is capable of being very introspective of his thoughts and realises that him blaming androids, his behaviour and the way he handled his grief were all wrong and he wants to be better.

Hank never gets mad at Gavin cause he knows what Gavin says is true.

Gavin only brings up Hank’s negative actions, his constant drinking, being intoxicated at work and Fowler’s bias towards him.

If Gavin were truly an unrepentant asshole who just despised Hank, he would have mentioned Cole and mocked Hank about his death but that never happens. Connor is actually shown to be more mocking about Cole’s death (when he says little Cole didn’t make it)

Hank could tell Gavin to shove it or keep his opinions to himself but again, I think it shows that deep down, Hank knows how he’s behaving is wrong but he just can’t help it and that’s why he never says a word.

[the-paris-of-people]

Truly I need to talk about the under-appreciated gem that is Canaan Green. We talk about Lila, Kimberly, Leighton, Nico, Whitney, Jackson, Tatum, and semi-Alicia (I really feel like the Alicia underappreciation is REAL) but aside from the break-up with Whitney, I never see anyone talk about Canaan as a character and a love interest.

Our first introduction to Canaan is that he's incredibly funny. The way he flips the script on Kimberly when she asks him what it's like being black at Essex by fabricating a story about his crack-addicted mother is absolutely hysterical and the way he drags Lila into it as well makes it for an excellent scene, one of my favorites of season 1. I love his reactions to Kimberly's antics, like when she pulls the hard-boiled eggs out of her pocket, Christopher Meyer's comedic timing is just absolutely excellent and I feel as if not enough people appreciate those little moments in which he infuses Canaan's reactions.

Canaan is probably one of the most multi-faceted, well-balanced students we've seen at Essex so far, or at least a great example of one (Honestly they're all killing it at college). In s1ep5: That Comment Tho, he tells Kimberly to focus on her Econ homework instead of obsessing over the comment from Nico on her Instagram. We know that he works several jobs, including at Sips and on the side picks up catering gigs. At the beginning of season 2, we learn that he has a detailed ten year plan to become a hedge fund manager of an impact investing firm, then later we learn he founded a startup to off-set the cost of AD treatments. At the Econ banquet, we also learn he was in the top of THREE of the professor's classes, so clearly he takes his schoolwork seriously enough to perform well too. He also has an active social life at the KJ House, has time to date, and has several friends with whom he hangs out. He's incredibly ambitious, hardworking and balanced as a student, and what's shocking of all of this information, is that he's incredibly humble about it. He didn't want to go to the banquet to accept his Econ department award for whatever reason, and Kimberly, who worked with Canaan ALL YEAR, was shocked go hear about his accomplishments.

I always think it's telling if a person is kind or not by how they treat multiple people, and Canaan treats Kimberly, Whitney, and Lila really well throughout the series. He and Lila are clearly close friends at the coffee house and he sings her praises to the customer in the episode where Kimberly encourages Lila to interview for the manager position, and he takes Lila home when she's too sick at the Winter Underland party. Although I don't like that he didn't tell Whitney about Zoe's feelings for him, I thought it was really mature of him to call their relationship off before they could progress any further after she snooped through his phone. No one I ever knew from college, or even anyone I knew who is an adult now, could ever have the foresight or self-awareness to do anything like that. Even after their breakup, he's kind to Whitney when he sees her around, actually acknowledges and is civil to her. AGAIN, way more mature than any breakups I saw at that age. In general, I really thought Canaan treated Whitney well while they were together, he was really kind and encouraging and the "talking behind her back" he did was honestly just normal conversation to friends about the person he was dating and he immediately apologized and reassured Whitney when she brought it up. Canaan is also clearly so openly appreciative of Kimberly in several instances throughout the series, to giving her a cut of the tips they made when she helped him with the catering gig at the comedy gala (which was wholly unnecessary and a very kind gesture) to thanking her MULTIPLE times throughout the night for encouraging him to attend the econ banquet and deserve his well-deserved recognition. Just by the way he speaks to others, he's very kind and gentle even when being sarcastic or funny or firm. Lastly, we learn that Canaan cares deeply about his family and thinks it's his responsibility to take care of his mom's AD, which is incredibly sweet and something I would love to see in the next season with Kimberly.

Canaan is also... fucking hot, let's be real. I mean, that face, that body, that smile? His romantic looks? I adore him. We learn more about him with each episode he stars in and there's clearly more to learn which I think also makes for a compelling love interest. IMHO Canaan is by far the best love interest on the show and an under-appreciated character and he needs more love

[kaiokentimesten]

Hello! so you’re like one of the very few blogs I know that has a better understanding of c!schlatt- and I just kinda wanted to know what he’s all about! :D I don’t 100% trust the general understanding the fandom has for him (for the very reason that some people think vilbur is even accurate to canon) and I was interested in what you know! :)

Oh anon!! Tysm that's so sweet of you to say :D it's crazy to think I am one of The c!Schlatt Guys to some people. This rant gets p long so I’m putting it under the cut sorry this took so long lollllllll

It's pretty fair to not trust the fanon understanding of c!Schlatt because...well, it's not great. Generally, people see him as just a horrible, abusive monster and an absolute villain up until the end, which...isn't the full story, imo. c!Schlatt to me shows off some of the ugliest parts of humanity, and what happens when you refuse to better yourself and accept help

There's a steady decline to c!Schlatt. As the DSMP goes on, he becomes more unstable and a lot more paranoid, not even trusting the people in his own cabinet. He loses himself in his own addiction that he only relies on because he's in so much pain all the time, as seen in Fundy's "A Spy's Diary". Quoted directly from that:

"Schlatt has a severe addiction to alcohol and cigarettes to suppress his aching body. He is unwilling to get it checked due to his pride. If the symptoms progress, he might suffer fatal consequences." (Page 17)

"Schlatt is incapable of swimming. After further inspection it seems to be a form of muscle atrophy. He uses protein supplements to regain a viable level of strength. He seems to get weaker by the day." (Page 18)

He was too prideful to get any help for his illnesses, so he continued to spiral downward. His treatment of others led to him dying in a van, surrounded but alone since everyone at that point pretty much hated him. It's sad, tragic even, because it didn't have to be this way, but it was

Still, this isn't to say Schlatt doesn't do horrible things. The way he treats people—Quackity, Niki, and Tubbo in particular—is terrible. There's the festival where he executes Tubbo, but there's also his heavy taxation and singling out of Niki, and the abuse he constantly bombards Quackity with. There's this clip I always think of where Q is trying to propose to Schlatt, and Schlatt's ignoring him and brushing him off up until Q threatens to leave. Then, he puts on this sweet voice and goes "where are you going? come back!" only to call Quackity a flatty patty when he does. (clip here.) It's cruel!

Schlatt is such a fascinating antagonist because he knows just how to get under everyone's skin. His cruel pettiness is absolutely perfect for everyone involved (especially someone like c!Wilbur), and the best part about it is how he does everything in such a fucking funny way

That's the thing. c!Schlatt isn't this cold, unfeeling monster that just abuses everyone around him—nor is he constantly shouting at people and hitting them. He's calm, collected, and he's funny. He's able to make you feel like you're being unreasonable, and he's able to rally people against you because of his charisma. It's so cool! I love it. I love this guy so much even though he kind of sucks

But, like I said, to say that he's just A Villain does him a bit dirty I think. His addiction and chronic illness plays such an important part to his story, and I think it's a disservice to have it go unmentioned. He's a guy with a lot of problems that did some really shitty things, and isn't that just perfect for the DreamSMP?

TLDR: c!Schlatt did a lot of shitty things but calling him just a one note villain does a bit of disservice to his character imo. He’s my little bah bah blorbo etc etc

[juniperhillpatient]

I feel like over explaining my thought process behind aspects of happenstance, not because anyone asked just because I love rambling about my projects & hey - maybe if ur a reader you’ll find it interesting idk. I take a very specific approach to the “he would not fucking say that” vs “it’s fanfic that’s the whole point” dichotomy of fan creation & it’s “under what circumstances would he say that?” it’s all about pushing the characters to new limits & playing with them in new genres & with different backstories (that still take from their core canon backstories but change things slightly. changing it too completely defeats the purpose for me but that’s another post)

under the cut you’ll find me ranting & raving about my own character writing & psychoanalyzing Azula, Katara, & Jet the three most important characters lbr

let’s start with a question. I haven’t seen it recently but I’ve seen it before for this story & I like talking about the worsties a lot so - “why are Jet & Azula best friends when they’re constantly horrible to each other?” because they’re both the absolute worst next question <3 just kidding I’m going to elaborate. to understand this dynamic (which none of the other characters really do, side note) you gotta understand these 2 are not friends despite being awful to each other - the fact that they get to be awful is a big reason they’re such good friends.

Azula & Jet share some very unpleasant character traits that other fans might prefer to downplay or have them work on in fics but that contribute to my love for them - they’re both deeply manipulative & more often than not treat relationships transactionally based on what they get out of it. there’s exceptions obviously where each of their more endearing traits persevere in some relationships but they are absolutely not each other’s exception - the opposite. they get to be cruel to each other & sabotage each other & arguably each get a sense of satisfaction (or at least feel better about themselves) watching the other’s failures (Azula actively find’s entertainment in Jet’s lack of ability to have a stable relationship, the second Jet notices Azula’s relationship slipping he considers making a move, she used his horrible drunk driving accident against him & he mocked her for her lack of sexual experience & for her addiction etc etc)

I think there is something deliciously addictive to both Jet & Azula about a friend they can be their worst self around & toward hence why there is no boundaries to how nasty they can be & they will always forgive each other instantly because they both feed on letting their crueler tendencies reign free on a target that won’t flinch away & will be awful back validating them that they aren’t THAT bad because the other is Like That too.

so why did Jet almost kiss Azula in the latest chapter despite this clearly being a horrible idea? why did she act so flirty & practically invite a kiss? why did Katara not get upset about it?

let’s start with Jet. aside from being a slut, Jet has emotional intelligence mostly just when it’s convenient for him & right now it’s not. so. I don’t think he’s considering how much this would hurt Zuko & Jin, instead convincing himself there’s a scenario where it would be fine. I think Jet tends to view things from a selfish lens on a personal level. his politics are about helping people (…kind of. but maybe even more about hating the fire nation) & he views himself as a caretaker for people like Smellerbee & Longshot but he also likes to see what he can get away with at all time. this is totally based on brief canon stuff btw - Jet absolutely sees Katara’s attraction to him & uses it to his advantage so he can make his flood plan happen not caring if the truth would upset Katara even if he does seem to like her & want her approval. what he wants to see happen is more important. if Jet were forced to stop & think & empathize he wouldn’t want to hurt Zuko & Jin like that but the blurred lines within the friend group & Azula’s behavior are a cocktail for disaster already & Jet’s selfish desire to push boundaries has been awakened.

it may sound like I hate jet but it’s actually just that John mulaney meme like “my wife is a bitch & I like her SO much” <3

I will also say - jets tendency to view relationships so coldly even when it’s people he deeply cares about (in his own messy way) is a byproduct of being a kid who raised other kids. he HAD to develop a cynical & hard outlook because he saw his family killed & took on raising his friends - including turning to criminal activity at an extremely young age. that doesn’t happen without warping a person. Jet & Katara’s trauma is actually very similar in the sense of growing up fast but they react in almost opposite ways. more on my girl katara soon!

last thing - there’s a much more subtle note of self destructive tendencies with Jet risking sabotaging his own relationship. like it’s mostly that he’s a selfish jerk but also he’s never had anything good last in his life & he’s at a weird “I didn’t think I would get this far what now?” moment. the boys most stable long term relationships are his besties who he views himself as a caretaker for. Jet doesn’t think he deserves anything good for himself despite his grandiose self aggrandizement suggesting otherwise at all times & he has no idea how to handle a real stable relationship. this insecurity is worsened when he expresses it to Azula & she mocks him & validates that uncertainty. (this is going on long enough so I won’t ramble too much more but. well Jet hating himself beneath the false swagger & having a history of self sabotage hopefully isn’t a huge shock in a story where he wanted to ignore medical treatment after getting hit by a semi & shrank & became uncharacteristically apologetic & meek when Zuko called him out for it…)

ok now let’s talk about Azula. my girl is just as ready to use people like pawns as Jet (she’s actually mostly more self aware about this character trait than him I think though not in this specific instance). but she wouldn’t cheat, right? correct! still - let’s get into a psychoanalysis <3

Azula doesn’t just love Katara. she’s deeply unhealthily infatuated with her. the bestie broke away from her dad & said “who can I treat like a god next?” & didn’t wait for an answer. Azula is fully incapable at this point in the story of being an individual. She has lived her entire life as a tool serving someone else’s whims & she doesn’t know how to stop. her entire self worth hinges on Katara’s approval… & no amount of validation will ever be enough when u have exactly zero self worth. Azula would never dream of being purposefully disloyal to Katara but what she would do is desperately seek validation from other sources because no one, not even Katara in all her desire to take care of people, can give Azula what she’s looking for & it’s left her with a hollow sense of self hate & emptiness that is impossible to fill yet she has no choice but to try.

i typically think Azula is very capable of manipulation EXCEPT romantically or flirtatiously because she has no clue how to flirt but I think with Jet in this scenario it’s different for several reasons. 1. their history 2. their by now extremely tight friendship. the fact that they find each other easy company when they’re not at each other’s throats is the other cornerstone of this dynamic 3. she’s not fully self aware of what she’s doing & if she was she would stop & punish herself, probably harshly.

Azula would deny it vehemently both outwardly & to herself if anyone tried to accuse her of seducing Jet. but the brief high she gets from his validation leads her to continue to act the way she does. Azula NEEDS any form of positive attention she can get because she has nothing without external validation:

onto Katara - why didn’t Katara give a shit that Jet tried to kiss Azula? there are a few reasons. Katara wears her heart on her sleeve & she treats others like they do as well even when there is evidence to the contrary. Katara takes people at their word & gets extremely hurt when she’s wrong. Azula has admitted many times to being closed off emotionally but Katara still continually expects Azula to be more open & honest than she is & gets hurt every time Azula makes herself difficult to read. this is because Katara sees it as her job to be emotionally responsible for the people around her. she grew up practically raising herself & her brother because their father couldn’t be fully present. this was in the aftermath of the extreme trauma of losing Kya - something Katara blames herself for. & she also blames herself anytime someone close to her experiences something negative, especially Azula who she’s designated herself as fully responsible for. hence why it KILLS katara that she cannot always read Azula & in this instance, she’s misreading Azula badly & she doesn’t even know it.

Katara doesn’t realize that the almost kiss is something Azula invited out of insecurity because Azula hasn’t opened up about that (because she’s not even self aware about it herself.) if katara understood that missing context, everything would change. Katara would instantly sympathize & be upset (for a multitude of reasons, certainly jealousy being up there but mostly out of a desire to fix Azula’s broken mental state) & she would try to give even more validation to Azula (an impossible task that would only lead to more hurt & stress for Katara because she’s already giving so much of herself.) But, again, she continually expects Azula to just explain things to her in a therapy speak that Azula is mostly terrible at (although she puts in an impressive effort at times thanks to character development & Katara’s pushing.) So, instead of understanding that this was a moment of deep insecurity for Azula, Katara reads the comment as “Jet was being Jet, he’s such a jerk sometimes but whatever we’re all used to it.”

Katara is right about something with Azula - Azula would never cheat. Now that Katara understands Azula’s extreme worship of her she is deeply disturbed by it & aware that it is not healthy for either of them. So - that’s her main concern. Fixing Azula’s problems & reassuring Azula are Katara’s priorities. There is no insecurity or concerns about Azula having a wandering eye - & there shouldn’t be because that’s not the issue! Katara just should’ve realized this was indicative of bigger issues rather than pushing the whole thing off on Jet being a bit annoying & slutty which is the easy answer - & Katara is desperate for easy answers right now.

a bigger problem for Katara is that she’s run into these problems she can’t fix with Azula - like their disagreement on the future, like Azula’s unhealthy hero worship or Katara - & it’s driving poor Katara insane because what is she good for if not compulsively fixing things?

Katara doesn’t have the emotional energy to stress over a friend trying to kiss Azula when she’s not worried about Azula cheating & their friend group is just kinda Like That anyway. all her energy is being used on looking for simple solutions to complex problems. Katara HATES this fight about the future because she can’t just fix it so she’d much rather deflect. she’s insistent they move on because she doesn’t have an answer so thinking about it is like torture. there’s no time to waste on some dumb almost kiss she NEEDS to focus on what she believes is a solution to this bigger problem- discussing a distraction! (the opposite of a solution. we love delusional girlies)

Katara’s view of herself as Azulas caretaker also means she’s DESPERATE to not fight, something that causes them both negative emotions (not that Katara gives a shit about her own negative emotions, she only views herself as worth anything if people around her are happy so it’s really about shielding Azula not herself). from Katara’s standpoint the almost kiss is a potential reason to fight & when they’re already fighting so much lately of course she’s determined to blow it off. she reacts with completely fake possessiveness only when she realizes that’s what Azula wants. & it’s silly & kinky but also sad because of course she sincerely thinks Azula is hers of course she doesn’t want Azula to be with anyone else but it’s still an act - it’s not about that sincere stuff - it’s about reacting how she thinks Azula wants her to. Azula’s tendency to try & please Katara to unhealthy degrees is more blatant but Katara does the exact same thing when it comes to behaving however she thinks she should to please Azula - to keep her mentally healthy & clean because Katara views that as her responsibility. also don’t assume katara isn’t mad at jet at all, but she knows how possessive azula is of that friendship & wouldn’t want to cause more issues between her & azula by making it a thing. doesn’t mean shes not a bit pissed at Jet.

Azula believes herself functionally useless if she’s not serving at someone’s altar & Katara believes herself functionally useless if she’s not constantly solving every problem & acting as a caregiver for someone- they’re perfect for each other! but also they’ve both taken these tendencies to the extreme in a way that is unsustainable & hurting them both.

so - that’s why the almost kiss played out the way it did & why Katara reacted (or failed to react) the way she did based on my analysis of my own characters.

thank you goodnight xoxo

tldr: Azula & Jet are the worst most selfish people but it’s ok cause they have trauma so they can be awful ✨as a treat ✨ & Katara is losing her goddamn mind but I’m sure a foursome on a pirate ship will fix her

[rubydracogirl]

i hate to be annoying but i just LOVE IT!! the french is still easily understandable and seeing the alouette lullaby gave it a whole new feel to me!! i grew up hearing it, so to see it be used in such a dark setting made me so ODDLY EXCITED?!? it makes ink feel homely! like he's luring me in, and then BOOM EVIL!! i also love the way shattered is portrayed; he's the sweetest threat ive ever seen, as in he reeks of fake niceties!! and your swap is STUNNING!! I HAVE NO WORDS I JUST LOVE IT SOO MUCH AND THANK YOUU IM SORRY FOR SPEAKING SO MUCH BUT JUST AHHH💗💗💗💗💗💘💘

You're not annoying at all! I love talking about my work to anyone who will listen 😅😅😅 so finding your asks in my inbox today was an utter treat! Plus, it was really nice to hear from someone who does speak French!

Im about to ramble even more so ill put the rest below this cut 😂

I feel like Alouette is being slept on in terms of being used in a scary/creepy setting. I remember after finding out that Ink canonically speaks French, I loved the idea of him humming nursery rhymes like Alouette. The darker aspect of that came during a conversation I had with my discord friend S. We were talking about what the Star Sanses would be like if they went bad. We both agreed that Ink would be playfully twisted and unhinged.

I always had the headcanon that if Dream went bad, the nature of his magic wouldn't change. He'd still feed on positive energy, but instead of wholesome feelings, it would be more like fighting an addiction.

I have a very, very soft spot for Swap Sans. I like the idea that he took his training with Alphys very seriously, and that he's an extremely competent fighter. The way I see it, if Ink fights Error, and Dream fights Nightmare, that leaves Nightmare's entire crew for Swap to deal with.

So, that's the story of how I fell in love with the idea of Swap being bloodthirsty and violent in addition to being badass enough to keep three killers at bay. 😅

Lmao, anyways, I hope you don't feel awkward about sending a longer ask! Because I will talk about my headcanons all day long if given the opportunity XD

[animezinglife]

Trauma is an explanation for behavior, but never an excuse for it.

I'm once again going to be blunt towards Nesta, which I know does tend to upset some and make others uncomfortable. Please know that it's never directed at any fans personally, including those who love or adore her. Not agreeing about a character doesn't mean I like or respect those who do care for her any less. Above all else, I would love to see the fandom get to a place where we can agree to disagree about characters more openly instead of one side getting a voice over the other.

If people not liking Nesta bothers you though, I'd just advise not reading. Truthfully, I don't like her. At all. I tried very hard to for a long time. That again is not at all an opinion I share towards any who find kinship with her.

I'm still going to highlight her development, but this will not exactly be a love letter to her.

The longer I've spent considering her story and the time that's passed between me reading it and now, the more I've come to realize I don't have a high opinion of her or even respect her. I certainly do not like her. On a good day, I'm indifferent towards her, but it always leans closer towards not liking or caring about her at all.

It also infuriates me to no end to see people comparing Tamlin locking Feyre in a house and Feyre and Rhys "locking" Nesta in a house.

The last I checked, Feyre wasn't gambling, boozing, and fucking money that wasn't hers in the first place away, treating everyone around her like trash, and was still the only reason Nesta wasn't homeless in the first place. Feyre wasn't an addict needing help and mooching off her sister and brother-in-law's funds and treating their friends like shit.

Had Nesta done all of those things on her own dime, they would've left her alone. They still would've tried to reach out to her, but she could've refused a lot more freely instead of gracing them with her sour presence so she could be given rent money. All that binge did was prove how below rock bottom she'd sunk, and because they were funding her, Feyre and Rhys realized that the strategy of leaving her alone wasn't helping her at all. While I personally would've rather seen them cut her off completely (financially and otherwise), she was a dangerous liability to all of Prythian thanks to the power she took from the Cauldron. They really couldn't turn her loose or risk her being out of the city.

Feyre wanted to better herself. Feyre wanted to help people; help Tamlin. Feyre wanted the opportunity to heal and grow.

Tamlin locked her in the house because of his paranoia and increasingly controlling nature that he'd taken on after his own trauma from Under the Mountain.

Again, trauma is an explanation of a behavior, but never an excuse for it. We somehow as a fandom understand this when it comes to Tamlin, but the blinders come on with Nesta.

Nesta wasn't trying to help people.

Nesta wasn't trying to heal.

Nesta wasn't trying to better herself or develop any skill.

Nesta didn't want consequences or accountability for her actions.

She expected to continue being given money for her rent and be taken care of while she hid from herself and bit everyone's head off who tried to offer their hand.

Nobody was tiptoeing on eggshells around Feyre, and Feyre never expected them to.

Nesta expected it, just as she expected Feyre to bring food home for them all those years, keep a roof over their heads, and that the lavish lifestyle and manor that was then gifted to her again thanks to Feyre and Tamlin was simply the way it was supposed to be for her. Nesta was used to others shaping themselves to tolerate and digest her rather than ever even considering offering them the same consideration.

It always makes me sick when people talk about the "generosity" Nesta offer by allowing Feyre and the Fae to use "her" house.

The house that Feyre and the Fae funded and that they only have because of Feyre.

For whatever reason, expectations for Nesta are always significantly lower than they are for the other sisters and other characters in general. Nothing is ever expected from or of Nesta. Up until ACOWAR, she does nothing. She did nothing, even if it would've benefitted her because she just knew someone else would do it for her. She then did the bare minimum in ACOWAR that a random person you might've plucked off the street with no family connections to the cast likely would've done simply out of the goodness of their hearts and consideration for others.

I remember reading about Nesta going after Feyre and my first thought being that she must've needed more money or wanted something from her. Which, obviously, I was being a bit facetious, but not as much as one might think.

She had to be spurred to desperation and realize that nobody else would do something for her to safe Feyre's life. She did not try to help; didn't even have a thought of telling Feyre until Nesta could make it about Nesta and use it to hurt Feyre. She used it to drive a wedge between Feyre and Rhys.

We can argue all day about Rhys's decision to withhold that information from Feyre, but what can't be denied is how hard he was working to save her life and Nyx's to the point he seemed close to losing his sanity at time. He had employed the help of everyone he knew. Madja, the ancient, experienced healer, had told him the risks in confidence rather than Feyre--an odd move, though it could also have been why Rhys didn't jump to telling Feyre.

If Madja had thought the stress risk was great enough that it could make things worse for her and the baby, who was Rhys to argue otherwise? He's not a healer. This is the love of his life and his first child with her. He was terrified.

Do I think he was right to withhold the information from her? No, but I think it's worth being objective and realizing his reasons weren't out of cruelty.

Nesta, meanwhile, takes it upon herself to use this to hurt Feyre caring fuck-all about the consequences to Feyre and Nyx.

When Elain tells her a truth she doesn't want to hear? Nesta throws one of the greatest sources of Elain's depression and sorrow (Graysen) back in her face.

When Cassian asks Rhys why he can't believe a single good thing about Nesta?

Nesta has never shown Rhys a single good quality about herself.

All Rhys knows is the pain and trouble she's caused the people he loves: Feyre most of all, but Cassian by extension and likely even Elain. Nesta's already announced she doesn't see Rhys as her high lord despite living in his city under his roof and funded by his wife's/mate's money.

Nesta is not his responsibility.

Nesta's legacy is causing others pain without care beyond herself.

What about her father's trauma? He lost everything he'd ever worked for. He'd lost his wife. His leg had been shattered so that he could not longer provide for his daughters.

Did Nesta lift a finger to help even with her sisters? Of course not. She did nothing as usual because she had some twisted idea in her head that she was in any position to teach him a lesson (don't even get me started on that level of self-righteousness and narcissism) and make him realize they were suffering. She waited, as always, for someone else to do something and provide for her.

Did Nesta help Feyre clean and prepare her kills for eating? Of course not. Instead, she told Feyre she stunk and was dirty and waited for Feyre to do the work herself beyond what she was already doing to keep them alive.

Did Nesta say a single word to help Feyre when Tamlin came? Of course not. Nesta hid like a coward.

Did Nesta ever think to use whatever minimal skills she did have (dance) and think to use that to help feed her family? No, and while this is fully speculation, it wouldn't shock me at all if she was also the reason Elain wasn't growing vegetables.

Nobody ever brings this up, but I'd argue none of them would've been in half the trouble they'd faced in ACOWAR and beyond had Nesta not done her usual of taking something from the Cauldron. It may have been the one time she was justified in taking since a fate was being forced upon her, but it doesn't sit well either with her having been the one to do so.

Because that's all Nesta had ever done: take from others. She's been taken care of her entire life and has never bothered to take care of herself or anyone else.

She does some bare minimum of emissary work in ACOWAR, and she does a decent job of it. Credit where due. She does happen to call out to Cassian and keep him from being killed during battle. Credit where due.

But there's a reason part of her intervention included being given a job.

Nesta does nothing. Nesta has never done anything--getting attention is a skill an infant possesses should they scream at the top of their lungs. Nesta has never had to work with others.

The library job is great for her because while being significantly less labor-intensive than anything a child Feyre did to keep her family alive, it still put Nesta in a position where she had to actually do tasks herself. And what happened as a result of that? She realized that people responded well to her who she hadn't treated like dirt. Gwyn responded well to her, and Nesta even made her first friend at twenty-something years old by learning a skill most five-year-olds do.

She realized there was a connection between how she treated people and how they responded to her (genius!), and when she also didn't treat Emerie like dirt, Emerie ended up liking her, too.

Cassian simultaneously having a saint's patience and not taking any of her bullshit was productive, too. He didn't enable her like Feyre had unintentionally done out of her love and giving nature. He didn't go along with it out of love for Feyre like Rhys did.

Cassian was one of the few who didn't look at Nesta and believe the expectation bar should be so low it was buried underground. Cassian saw that this was a person who could be capable of something if she actually put her mind to it.

Is that something Nesta ever would've done alone? Of course not. Other people were capable of things and Nesta held her hands out for the benefits. Her "training" was to catch the attention of someone who could give her and her family things through dancing and surface-level politicking--the same degree of expertise required for your average job interview.

Note that Elain had no trouble at all doing that (and I could write an entire other post on how strongly I suspect Nesta is the key reason Elain has so little confidence and has been held back so much in her life). If anyone's comparable to Feyre being locked in Tamlin's manor, it's Elain. Maybe Nesta is controlling out of protectiveness, but given the rest of her behavior towards others, I think the protectiveness is significantly overestimated and generous.

It's not until Nesta finally acknowledges how (frankly) awful and useless she is that we finally start moving in a fulfilling, deeper direction. She starts to find a sense of purpose in her work, and that motivates her to actually have an idea to extend the resources that have been given to her to other women who have not had them.

This is wonderful and absolutely is credit where due: she is actively thinking of someone other than herself and makes a decision to offer her help.

The best part? It's one of the first things she doesn't make about her.

She allows them to sign up at their own pace and of their own free will. Doesn't push them or make snide remarks to bully them into it. She doesn't stare down her nose at them while doing nothing at work and I suppose attempting to telepathically communicate her personal wishes towards them like she did her father.

Nesta finally makes a choice to reflect on herself and her actions. She finally makes a choice how her past has impacted those actions and behavior. She finally makes the choice to better herself, develop skills, and become stronger.

She even becomes less self-obsessed and self-absorbed: she doesn't leave her friends in the woods to fend for themselves or to personally deliver her food like she would've done at every other point in her life. She actively seeks them out, fights for her own survival, and works together with them. Nesta stays back at Ramiel and risks her life to make sure Gwyn and Emerie make it to the top.

I wish that we would've been shown good and redeeming qualities in Nesta earlier on and more prevalently throughout ACOSF on her own accord. While I can acknowledge her growth in the story and that it's what makes her story worth reading, it would've been nice to see her think beyond herself beforehand. It would've been nice to see her not actively make everyone's lives worse by being the volatile deadweight dumped on them.

There's this very odd notion that there's some "parentification" of Nesta. Yet in reality, Nesta was kept fed and housed by her baby sister and the bare minimum of her Feyre ever asked in return was for some help preparing dinner after she was cold and exhausted from hunting. She only ever asked her why Nesta hadn't even bothered to notice Feyre couldn't read--which is something any family member, especially one as old as Nesta, should have noticed had she been looking outside herself at all. She made sure she could enjoy reading and still does, yet never bothered to consider whether Feyre could.

Nesta is the one who's babied, and in my opinion, Nesta is the weak link of the sisters. The bar is always lower for her. The standards are always lower for her. She's the one everyone feels they have to coddle and not upset, else she lashes out and ruins everyone else's time. The fandom doesn't coddle Feyre or Elain in the same way, either. For whatever reason, Nesta's always the one we have to go down 10,000 steps ourselves to reach the bar for.

Yes, it can be argued that Elain doesn't have a long list of "wins" to her name yet, but lack of consideration for others has never been her downfall. Lack of wanting more is also not it, and she's stated that she doesn't want others to resent her desire for more than the box they've shoved her into. Elain has been under Nesta's thumb--not Feyre's. More likely than not, Nesta was as much a roadblock to her as she was deadweight to everyone else.

Elain never once actively made her family's lives worse. She has never done that to anyone she loves, because she sees the impacts it makes. She also had actual skills and hobbies she was interested in even if those for whatever reason were not portrayed as beneficial to her family's wellbeing (and they could've been).

Elain has also not had the benefit of us being inside her head, and I would argue being inside Nesta's hurt some opinions of her more than they helped.

I strongly suspect in particular, victims of narcissistic abuse will have an extremely hard time supporting Nesta or even having empathy for her character (especially if they have a narcissistic mother). Victims of verbal and emotional abuse will also struggle with her, because Nesta has historically been an abuser of the same nature. I suspect too that people who have been providers or have been held to higher standards by those who don't exhibit them themselves will also have trouble with her. Daughters who've grown up having to tiptoe and/or regulate/dodge their mothers' moods, sisters who've worked their asses off to survive while another sister is handed everything, etc.

There are many readers who will not like Nesta. It's not always easy to separate personal experiences from what we read, especially when we're in Nesta's head and hear so many of the same thoughts and phrases--see so many of the same behaviors--that have contributed or added to our own, larger trauma. I wish people could understand that much at least.

I suspect it's hard too for those readers to go along with the idea she's grown or changed--even if it is fantasy--because the Nestas of the world do not in real life. Those experiences with them can take a lifetime to heal from, and those victims' trauma and hardship because of a Nesta are valid.

Those people who do call her on her behavior have every bit as much right to a voice or to express those opinions. I know had I been in Feyre's or Elain's shoes, Nesta would not have gotten a cut of the food back in that little cabin until she could learn to treat others better.

Her behavior is constantly downplayed, and I'm including that too in stating how much lower the bar is for her than everyone else. Her cruelty, her abuse, and her troublemaking is not something we should feel like we have to dismiss because of external pressures.

Pressures of those natures only ever do benefit abusers in real life, and not everyone's willing to tolerate it.

You cannot promote ideas of listening to and believing that abuse occurred only when it fits your narrative.

Do I understand Nesta better?

I understand the psychology behind it and the trauma responses. This is something I do in fact have a lot of training in in real life, and it's something I could actively partner with mental health professionals in writing about from an objective, academic standpoint.

I can acknowledge that abuse is cyclical and generational in nature. I can understand Nesta has endured hardship in how her mother treated her, but unlike Feyre and Elain, Nesta then turned around and actively contributed to furthering that cycle in her treatment of her sisters.

She didn't reflect on it. She didn't stop it. She did it: to their beaten-down, depressed, and crippled father and to Feyre most of all, and likely to Elain as well.

Nesta did what Nesta does best: she made everyone's pain, hardship, and trauma about her.

I understand SJM's goal. I see clearly what she was trying to do with Nesta's character (even though I don't agree with her message of everyone deserving love at the end--loving a lifelong abuser is never a victim's responsibility no matter what the recent changes, and that mentality is both stupid and dangerous).

I understand why Nesta's family forgave her. I understand that Nesta learned valuable lessons, and that because this is fantasy, she will remember those lessons and continue to take them to heart. She will, because this is fantasy, not resort back to her old ways.

That said, I'll admit that if I ever read these books again, I will likely skip ACOSF no matter how much I love Cass, Gwyn, and Emerie. I don't know that Nesta deserves any of them even if she needed them. In every way. they're stronger than her and kinder. They have a more realistic grasp on the world around them and clearer perspectives of themselves.

As for her depression, I don't think it's a particularly healthy outlook to allow that as justification of her treatment of others, either. Yes, that could be the root of her drinking, her shutting down, and her gambling, and it does negatively impact the mind's ability to rationalize present situations and how events are reflected on. People are right when they say you can't compare trauma responses or how people process their mental health conditions, but there still has to be some guideline of human decency.

We acknowledge that Tamlin has trauma and what he did was wrong. Fans go after Feyre and Rhys all the time for their wrongdoings. Nobody argues Beron's verbal or physical cruelty. Nobody argues the Archeron mother's lack of empathy and cruelty towards her own daughters.

So why is Nesta alone spared that objectivity and truth?

We can acknowledge her PTSD from the father she treated cruelly being murdered right in front of her eyes after coming to her aide and her depression.

We can acknowledge her trauma.

We don't have to put up with her treating others like shit because of them or pretend like that's not exactly what she did. We don't have to pretend she wasn't all about Nesta even before that and that those conditions only amplified her worst qualities. We can be relieved that she made the decision to be better and was finally willing to do the work to be so.

Trauma is an explanation for behavior. It's never an excuse for it.

Including for Nesta.

Most people do more for co-workers they don't even like in one day than Nesta ever did in 20+ years for her own sisters simply because they're decent people.

There's also this reach that comes up a lot: what if Nesta were a man exhibiting all the same behaviors?

If he were a man boozing, abusing, and fucking his life away on survival money his sister had gifted him, the fandom would've thrown him in the trash from the start. They would have never been quiet about him being an abuser.

Some found relief in Nesta's "healing" journey.

Others find it in her breaking down, acknowledging what a wretch she was, and finally apologizing to the people she mistreated (and meaning it). To those, that's the most authentic sign of her healing and growth. That's what I respect above all else.

I have a hot take and it might piss some people off specially the ones who believe Nesta didn't need a redemption arc (???) so please don't read this if you have this mindset

You saving your sister at death bed doesn't have redeeming quality. Because anyone in that room, specially Rhysand, would've jumped to help her without hesitation if they had the power. Nesta herself would've helped even if she hadn't finished her healing journey and was still distancing herself from everyone.

I'm not talking about how in those 12 days she didn't help the IC to find a solution, I'm talking about her seeing her baby sister at death bed. Because she didn't helped Feyre for 5 years and let her put herself in danger because Nesta knew she would survive. But the moment Tam/in took her, Nesta goes after her and searches for her. And this is exactly what happened, Nesta thinking IC would find a solution so she didn't even bother to offer a little help. Or even think about it...

In both situations the moment Nesta sees Feyre in absolute danger and is sure there's a huge chance that she might not make it alive, she makes a move to help/save her. I don't want one single person to come here and tell me it's not her job or responsibility- just shut it... don't embarrass yourself

You know what would've been redeeming?

The moment she realized Feyre might die during the labor, she should've started searching alongside the IC, she was literally working in a library at the time.

She should've talked to them and convinced them to let Feyre know of the danger.

She, talking with her sister, properly apologizing and try to bond with her and mend the bridge that's been broken between them.

Not sucking your trainer's d*ck the moment you find out. Not climbing down 10000 steps because you were so "angry" of the injustice you were facing and tell your sister she's about to die and made it about yourself. Because you wanted to show her that IC doesn't "respect" her as much as they don't respect you. And put her in danger in the process because you knew how the stress might hurt the baby but again you were thinking about your own hurts and pains.

I love Nesta and her book helped me to understand her so much better and realizing how similar we are and how much I share trauma with her. Not my trauma response tho.

I just hate the way sjm wrote her healing journey because she made it about herself lol. She projected her trauma and her experience during her process of healing and wrote it into Nesta's story and never cared how it might look at the end. Now Nesta saving Feyre, her blood sister, sounds more like a favor she gave and give *some* people the opportunity to make what Feyre did for her sisters a chore, a responsibility, something she enjoyed to do because she wanted to hurt herself. (and that's definitely not true) Don't even try to deny I've seen it many many times and I have proof.

And that's my problem with her book. I love that she made friends along the process and had her own found family, it led us to meet two beautiful characters. Her book gave us context of the reason behind some of her actions. We get to read how ashamed and hateful she is toward herself for neglecting Feyre. But the rest? No.

Sjm could've give us Nesta, fixing her relationship with the people around her and making new friendship with her found family at the same time but instead she wrote so many smut scene that has no purpose and doesn't help the plot moving. I'm throwing hot takes after hot takes jeez

In conclusion acosf didn't help people to forgive Nesta. Understand her? Yes. But forgiving her and give them the opportunity to considee her as their favorite character? No. I'm not talking about all but the majority, because as you see even now people can't seem to forgive her even tho they understand her much better.

To be honest acosf is one of the weakest book sjm has ever written and she hasn't wrote one single good book ever since... I wanted to make all these takes in different posts but fuck it, we ball<3

[memequeme]

thoughts on roy & oliver per my fic bc i just bought and read green arrow #1 and im in my roy feels:

(undercut bc this might be long, some spoilers not anything super plot specific but just in case)

i should probably preface this by saying that i’m not the biggest fan of oliver queen in general, he’s really just not my cup of tea tbh

and i know that he hasn’t been seen in the best light in the first couple of chapters of the fic which is purposeful and not just for plot

overall i think ive been very forgiving of bruce in general (although this is an au where batman doesn exist) and i also dont think i need to explain myself on this account for anyone but i do want to put my thoughts somewhere, and in general i like portrayals that treat bruce like a man who actually wanted to be a father, someone who saw himself in orphaned children and thought he could be of service

my treatment of bruce and his relationship with his children is not for his benefit or to cut him any slack, his characterization and character development is for the benefit of his children, bc that group of kids deserves to have at least one parent that gives a shit and keeps trying even when they do fuck up

and in the same regard, that’s how im choosing to treat oliver, not bc i particularly like him or i want to see him grow as a character, but bc i think roy deserves a father figure that grows with him, that he can learn to forgive, that take steps to earn that forgiveness (i’m ahead of myself here plot-wise, there’s a long way to go but that’s the direction the story is going, spoilers?)

If there’s one thing about addiction and recovery, its that a solid support system can make all the difference. (obviously your support system doesn’t have to be family but i digress) your support system can make you stronger, can give you something to fight for when you dont want to fight for yourself

bc bruce isn’t perfect and neither is oliver, and parents fuck up, some more than others ofc, but as you grow up, you reconcile that however you can and you either learn to live with it or you move forward in other ways

recovery requires a lot of forgiveness, forgiveness toward yourself, toward your own actions and mistakes, but also forgiving those you can for your own peace of mind, bc the causes for addiction are rarely just internal

the essence of this fic is to deal with the aftermath of trauma and addiction and how one cares for their relationships after the fact, the things they choose to hold onto and the things they choose to forgive. To look at yourself as a complete human being, flaws and all, to say I deserve to be loved and I deserve to let people love me, even those who have hurt me in the past, because I have changed and grown and so have they. To look at the people in your life with that same sense of grace, to acknowledge how someone hurt you and say i choose to forgive you because I value our relationship and the good that you do bring to my life despite the mistakes.

Some relationships with parents will never be easy or painless, sometimes they don’t grow or change, they don’t want to. Maybe its not the most realistic but this is fiction and i want to write a story where there are parents who realize their fuck-ups both in the distant past and recently, who decide they want to change and atone. That they want to have a better relationship with their children, that they want to be better.

[mwagneto]

Just saw your post about the many sherlock holmes adaptations and their problems and wanted to ask, what do you think are the worst and best adaptations + your opinion on the bbc show vs guy ritchie’s adaptation

PHEW okay big question. so in my personal opinion my favourite adaptation is the ritchie one and my least favourite is bbc. objectively speaking the worst ones are ... well there's a lot I'm ngl I'm very picky but probably Holmes & Watson, the absolute trainwreck that some cruel force allowed to be made and released in 2018 which is awful in every single way like it's genuinely unwatchable. Granada/the Jeremy Brett one is probably the most faithful, but i think Murder by decree and Without a clue are great takes on it, and of course The private life of SH is iconic and Russian Holmes is close to my heart because the locations and architecture etc look really similar to where i live so it's really special that way. (i actually have a tierlist of almost every adaptation I've seen, there's been more since but I've been too lazy to update it lmao)

putting this under a cut because it got LONG

i think there's several layers to what makes an adaptation great, like to ME the most important thing is that they nail the h&w dynamic, either by using the one in the books or by making it clear that they understood what the dynamic was and chose to put a different spin on it but like. if they're not obviously "can't live without each other" friends and (at least) a little bit gay then what's the point. also with modern adaptations there's smtg I've literally only seen done right ONE time, which is Holmes's drug use where everyone adapting it to the 21st century insists on keeping it cocaine or smtg similar? which, like, no????? like ppl don't seem to realise that when he was written, cocaine was like. perfectly acceptable. and Watson still worries about it because he's a doctor but that's in no way equivalent to someone NOW using cocaine and their doctor friend worrying. there's that super old post that's like "modern holmes should be addicted to energy drinks" and well yeah. absolutely that, or the way House md solved it by having him be addicted to painkillers that he gets in a kinda shady way sometimes.

n then obviously there's the cases. again this is an opinion but i think it's good when they're straight up adapted, and i think it's good when they invent a brand new mystery, but i absolutely cannot Stand when they take an existing case from the books but put their own ~special smart boy~ spin on it cough cough MOFFAT like the worst examples of this are probably the way he butchered Baskerville and ASIB because he thought he was sooo much smarter than everyone and couldn't just adapt these extremely iconic stories straight up, nonono let's make them a billion times worse.

as for Ritchie vs BBC, i don't really think i can compare them, simply because I can't be objective? like the rdj holmes movies are easily among my favourite movies of all time, not because they're so outstandingly good but simply because I'm so attached to them, while even a mention of BBC can send me into feral dog mode. not to mention my history w them is 1. complicated 2. inherently tied to each other so yeah i don't think an objective comparison from me is really possible, at least if i want to avoid making this response a 10 hour read. but umm if i wanna go by key points:

1. i think rdj absolutely nails the h&w dynamic while bbc completely butchers it

2. rdj kinda expands his drug use but i think it works rly well with the kinda person his holmes is, i fucking hate the way bbc treats his drug use and the only slightly nice moment about it was in the unaired pilot that. well. didn't air

3. i haaaaate the way rdj handles irene and i fucking. despise beyond words the way bbc handles irene. i dont think i have ever seen irene adapted well it's fucking miserable

4. i think the cases in rdj are... fine? they're not good tbh as in like if i was here for a mystery I wouldn't really like it BUT they're original and written in a way where they give you, the viewer, all the clues that Holmes has, so you have the ability to figure out the solutions along with him, which is crucial to any sh adaptation (and mystery in general). it's also camp and fun and ridiculous which i really like so yea no complaints from me. bbc on the other hand. god. jesus. well i mentioned this before but i fucking hate the way they adapt every story to be almost the same but way way worse because they think they're so much smarter than the books AND the viewers. and this segways into

5. aka their treatment of watson. i fawking love rdj watson i think he's one of the best watsons out there and i like him coz of his whole attitude and personality but i also think he's written extremely well in that so often adaptations fall into the trap i mentioned in the other post where they think holmes is the smartest specialest boy ever and they're just like him fr and he doesn't need anyone so watson is either just some useless guy trying and failing to keep up with holmes or a straight up punching bag. but here they actually make Watson not just competent but absolutely indispensable to both Holmes and the story, it's clear that Holmes both relies on him in things he doesn't know as well as Watson does (crucial!!!!!) and trusts him (watson) to figure things out almost as well as he (holmes) can which i think are incredibly good and important things to put in an adaptation because at the end of the day it's holmes and watson not holmes and some guy who's sometimes there to be talked at and not understand things. which of course brings me to bbc where . literally the only thing john does is get kidnapped like he's barely even there for the cases let alone HELP in any way. so yeah.

this could go on to be incredibly long because i am. absolutely insane about sherlock holmes but I'm gonna end it here, if you have any questions feel free to ask, i (evidently) really love talking about them so

[annyankers]

i will forever think that angel the series would be more interesting if they allowed angel to not be an obvious hero figure. if they didn’t try to make him the knight on the steed like in judgment or claim his heart is pure like in season 1.

if buffy is a subversion of the tropes in horror and action that make the woman the victim then ats should be deconstructing the man/monster dichotomy and tropes surrounding men in horror and noir. angel should be a much more introspective/thoughtful show and character. both because angel the character is older and has different issues and because it pulls in the mundane grimness of noir in to its world and tone.

angel the character should be personally dealing with issues around abuse and grooming-- both as the abused and the abuser-- or addiction since they talk about treating him in his writing like an alcoholic in s1 and treat his old behavior at times like one, or about being vulnerable, emotionality and toxic masculinity.

things like the angel/angelus split should be used to explore the difference between the angel that he’s trying to become -- a better man who’s more open and honest emotionally, who protects, who loves and is loved-- and the man he was -- a toxic, vile sadist, the very picture of all of man’s worst traits-- and then how little there really is standing between those two men and what that means for angel as a person/character.

he’s a vampire as angel or angelus and that means many of those same instincts exist in him at all times. he’s a monster from day 1 so then what does the difference between angel and angelus really mean? where do you draw the line between a man and a monster? 

part of the reason i use benjamin wadsworth, specifically in his role as marcus in deadly class, as a recast for angel is because i feel the writing around marcus’ character works very well as like, a template for what i feel makes sense for angel the show and the character.

you first meet marcus and he’s homeless, he’s an addict, he has nothing. nothing except a reputation for committing an atrocity that gets him into an assassin school and comical amounts of issues. he’s deeply traumatized by his life, emotionally closed off while also being deeply empathetic and desperate for love and affection and desperate for a purpose in life. there’s whole scenes that are just marcus having heavy introspective voice overs and he continually defends being emotionally vulnerable as a man. he has lines like “sadness is just rage turned inwards”, he thinks about this shit a lot. he hates bullies but he’s also kinda fucking manipulative and shitty at times. over the course of the series he does some fucked up shit and has to deal with it, literally and mentally. i think all of this has some thematic crossover with what would make a compelling story with angel in the lead.

i do also think that having angel look younger makes sense with him starting as the love interest in a teen drama but it also helps to highlight the power imbalance between him and Darla and add to his internal conflict. he’s old enough looking to be seen as an adult, but not visually old enough to be truly respected like one. he has to constantly validate his own worth which is exhausting or rely on his old angelus cred when that’s applicable which is toxic to his struggle to break from that identity.

I don’t necessarily think that it’s like, mandatory though, i just think it adds. to me, the major thing should be deconstructing tropes around men and monsters. let angel be a piece of shit, use more of his irish catholic heritage and really fucking dig in there and into his struggle against the sick urges that make him the monster angelus. let gunn play the role of the classic hero, something black dudes don’t really get to do much. stop doing the weird mystic pregnancy shit and also that billy episode is terrible cut that out. but more to the point of the post just like..... let angel explore his own internal life and don’t be scared of what’s gonna come out of it when you do.

[nightowlfandom]

Vampire! King! Ardyn Izunia!- Sadistic

Hey guys! Let’s kick off October with a bang!!! 

ANON ASKS (HEY FRIEND)

Sooo Ardyn is a guilty pleasure of mine. Feel free to do what you want with these prompts, I won’t judge lol. They are all from the prompt list.

7. You like when I choke you don’t you?

62. What a gorgeous dress…but it’d look better torn to ribbons don’t you think?

70. You know…it’s dangerous being out like this. A pretty little sla- I mean thing like you out here all alone.

Thank you for including the actual prompt in the ask!! I may or may not have made him slightly sadistic. Also I got a rude ask telling me to put a read more break...so on purpose I didn’t add one here. It pays to be polite.

CHECK OUT MY MASTERLIST HERE!!

X RATED PROMPT LIST| NON X RATED PROMPT LIST

Leggo!!

...

The hem of your gown was torn to shreds as you ran through the forest. You were barefoot running through the cold and wet dirt. Your feet were starting to itch from the scratching of small twigs against your skin. You were running away from your parents’ palace. 

You were to be married to someone. Someone you were disgusted by. You had two options. Marry or Be disowned. You chose to escape through your window and jump down. You almost hurt yourself on the way down, but it was worth it. 

You had been running for what felt like hours with the moon on your tail. You finally stopped as soon as your palace was nothing but a silhouette in the distance. 

“Guess I’m homeless now.” you sighed, sitting on a small log. “What am I supposed to do?” you groaned. It was dark and you could barely make out the moon amongst the smog. Lucky for you the wind was slightly picking up allowing you to feel the breeze on your skin.

“What’s this?” a low vibrating tone allowed you to come back to your senses. 

You instantly rose to your feet, turning to meet the face of tall man. He looked as if he was dressed for the middle of the winter time with his heavy trench coat and scarf. 

“A scared little lamb all by herself in such a place. You’re a long way from home aren’t you, young one?”

“Don’t speak down on me as if I’m a child, sir.” you narrowed your eyebrows at the strangers. “I’m far from it.”

“Hm.” he smirked. “My apologies.” he gave a slight bow. “What’s a young soul like you doing out in these parts so late in the night?”

“I don’t believe that is any business of yours, sir.” you took a step back. “Now I’ll be taking my leave now.” your voice wavered as you turned aroundd. But just as you turned to walk away, a man, the same man appeared before you.

“ You know…it’s dangerous being out like this. A pretty little sla- I mean thing like you out here all alone. “ he said with his hand held out. “If I may be so bold, I can escort you out of these parts.” his eyes practically glowed in the dark.

“No thank you.” you stepped back. “I know my way very well, thank you.”

Just as you turned around again, he appeared in front of you once more.

“Darling little girl-”

“Don’t call me a little girl!” you seethed.

“Hm, touchy are we. Young one doesn’t like being called a pathetic...little...girl.” he towered over you. “And don’t even think about grabbing the dagger I know is strapped to your thigh...you won’t get to use it.”

“What are you?” your voice slightly wavered.

“Ardyn Izunia...is what I am.”

Ardyn, where have you heard that name. The man seemed to laugh as the look of realization crossed your face. King Ardyn? The ‘Father’ of all vampires. He cackled at your fear struck expression. Your father had told you stories of his evil. 

“Ah the young princess Y/N knows of me?”

“How did you-”

“Know your name, love? Everyone knows of the, most beautiful, kindest and giving of her time. You should know better, how forgetful we are.” he raised an eyebrow.

“You stay away from me.” you warned. 

“Hm are you’re guards going to come and kill me, love?”

“I have no guards...not anymore.” you found yourself saying. You had your hand on your thigh under the slit of your dress. You wrapped your hand around your dagger. “Leave me...now.”

“Hm...anymore? Why? Was the little princess disowned?” he laughed. “Did their royal highnesses finally get rid of their problem child?”

You suddenly felt small and inadequate. “That’s none of your business.”

“Oh yes you have.” he took a step towards you. “You’re all alone, with no one?” he cooed. “Which means there’s no one to hear you scream.”

“Hear me sc-”

You were tackled to the floor, your weapon flying out of your hand. Ardyn bared his fangs towards you...” You like when I choke you don’t you? “ he cackled as he tightened his hands around your throat. You felt dizzy, very...fucking..dizzy.

”I must admit, darling girl...you look so delectable. It’s a shame I must kill you...but a vampire must drink.” he moved his hands from your neck allowing you to inhale sharply.

With his arm wrapped around your wrist and bought your shaky arm to his mouth. You were too frozen to even try and move. Adryn inhaled your scent, smiling sadistically down at you. 

You held in your pain as he sunk his needle like fangs into your skin. You wouldn’t scream or cry.

“...So...divine.” the man shuddered. “S-so...addicting.” Was that normal? 

You had no idea why, but feeling this. It was supposed to be painful, it was supposed to be what happened before you died a terrible death. So why were you seeing images...images you shouldn’t have seen.

...

“You look so beautiful in the sun, my darling.” the man beside you caressed your face as you both laid in the gardens. “You are the most beautiful of my fledglings.”

“I’d just better be the only one you treat like this.”

“Trust me darling, there are other people who will sire for me...my fangs will only ever touch your skin...when I’m not feeding or killing.” he smirked. “Come, it’s been a busy day. Lay your head on my chest...rest with me.”

You laid on his chest, the sun casting a glare over your naked bodies. “Can I ask you a question, Ardyn? Is this whole laying naked in the sun a regular thing?”

“Clothes are for humans with no free time...Now hush my dear...rest.”

...

and everything else went black.

...

You awoke on a plush surface. It was soft and velvety. A large, black comforter was covering your body. 

“Oh fuck, am I dead?” was your first thought. You swung your legs around the bed and planted your feet on the floor. Why were you so cold. You walked over to a vanity, standing in front of a mirror. Your arm was bandaged up. “No...I’m not dead.”

“You’re finally awake.”

You whipped around. Ardyn was sitting in an armchair wearing only a silk bathrobe. “I was beginning to think you’d never wake up.”

“W-what? What did you do to me?”

“I didn’t kill you, I know that much.” he rose from his seat.

“What?...Where am I??”

“My home...well. Our home now.” he walked towards you. “I know what you’re thinking-”

“You saw it too didn’t you?” you cut him off. “I know you know what it means...so tell me.”

“I’m not sure...all I know is that I couldn’t kill you. Before I knew it, I bit my own hand and made you take my own blood...I’ve never done that when changing someone.”

“Changing?!” you widened your eyes. “You...you PEICE OF!” you raised your fist when you realized just how clearly you could make out every crevice and divot on your hand and nails. “N-no this isn’t real!”

“Oh it is, my sweet.” he tiptoes his fingers up arm. You took a small step back, staring down at yourself. 

“ What a gorgeous dress…but it’d look better torn to ribbons don’t you think? “ he grabbed your hands in his. “Stop resisting and accept your new fate.”

“I feel strange.” you expressed honestly. “Is it supposed to feel like this?” you stared up at him.

He tilted your head up, staring at your innocence. 

“It can feel even better. Vampires are godly lovers...very few have laid with me...if you agree, you can be mine.”

(HAVE ANY MONBSTER REQUESTS? LET ME KNOW!!! IM TRYNA POST AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE THIS MONTH!!)

[soft-angelic-kiss]

We’re all  a little bit crazy (5)

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therapsit! Izuku x Patient! Bakugou x Patient! Todoroki x Patient! Shinsou x Patient! Reader

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Chapter 5 trigger warnings- Y/N gets into a small fight, mentions of taking pills, the use of the word psycho and mentions of suicide// lemme know if i missed anything

if that makes you uncomfy don’t read!

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chapter one here    

 chapter two here  

chapter three here 

chapter four here

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He woke up again on a plush bed after sleeping comfortably, his cheek slightly bruised and a dull pain running through it, he placed his hand on it and nothing felt swollen which was a very good sign. He let out a sigh and moved up to his elbows so he could look around. 

It was different from all the other rooms he’d been in, It had more color, drawings all the walls.. Comfort stuffed animals they sometimes give you at the hospital even bigger stuffed animals.. The room was comfortable.. 

He finally looked next to him and on the floor was Y/N, who was listening to music occasionally flinching from the headphones as she colored in a little book. He didn’t wanna disrupt the girl, so he sat up and carefully grabbed his clipboard looking for her file… 

 F I L E   4

(Patient Name) Y/N Yagi  (Patient #437)

 (Date admitted) 8-3-2009

 (Patient age) 19

 (Patient disorder)  Anxiety, Severe Depression, Sensory Overloading issues, and short temper, but never escalates, ADHD, PTSD, Anorexia, self harm and suicidal thoughts

(History/cause)  When she was 4 her family home went up in flames causing the death of her father (Okorashi) and older brother (Ekai) Which gave her an extreme fear of explosions and loud noises. From the ages of 4-7 her mother became an addict and an alcoholic. She took up abusive habits that left a few horrific scars on her body. When she was 7 her mother finally passed from an overdose that caused her uncle to have to take her in, He’s a kind man and treats her kindly, He sent them here in hopes of making her better, and more ready to come home. He visits often.

(Has patient...)

-attempted suicide?

-attempted homicide?

-attempted any act of self-harm?

-attempted violence on past employees?

-attempted escape?

 (Other). If she gets sensory overwhelmed she tends to scream, hot, kick and cry. They find comfort in the other patients, Bakugou, Todoroki, Shinsou and the boys downstairs. She tends to stick her nails into the skin of whoever grabs her, she needs to be sedated if she has a breakdown. 

(Danger level) 9/10

Izuku raised an eyebrow, the description of the person sitting down in front of him.He felt like it didn’t match her at all. He decided to take a gentle approach to greeting Y/N to make sure she didn’t have an “episode” as the paper put it. 

He gently swung his feet over the side and crouched down hoping to get into her sightline. He crawled to sit in front of her placing his hands on the floor in front of her coloring book. 

Y/N looked up, slightly startled but then took her headphones off, the change causing her head to spasm backwards before resuming her normal position. “Hi!” They smiled, placing her hands on the coloring book in front of Izuku’s. “Hi, Y/N right?” He spoke calmly, not wanting to put off the human infront of him. “Yeah! And you are...Izuku? Midoryia?” She tilted her head curiously and smiled, pumping a fist into the air when Midoryia nodded a smile being brought to his own lips. He was absolutely hooked by Y/N. Their backstory, their personality, they were such an interesting person and he couldn’t wait to learn more. 

“Yeah. You got it right, good job.” he chuckled when her cheeks turned pink with embarrassment from his praise. Izuku chuckled again and leaned forward slightly and watched as Y/N leaned back. 

Izuku shook his hands carefully and leaned back “Is this more comfortable?” Y/N nodded and smiled softly leaning forward again to resume coloring. Izuku smiled and decided to just watch her for a few moments.

The two hung out not moving position for at least half an hour, until Y/N looked towards the door and started cowering when the door opened and the men in white stood there with a medical tray full of many medical instruments he'd never seen before. 

Y/N jumped to their feet and tried to hide behind Izuku as one of them said “Y/N, Please I don’t want to have to repeat what happened yesterday.” He went to reach for her but she smacked his hand and continued standing behind Midoryia who was eyeing the men with a suspicious look. 

The blonde one who had spoke already finally went to grab them only to have his hands smacked away, but instead of a hand, he felt a clipboard against his wrist as he cried out “what THE-” the man went to hit Izuku but the greenette had blocked his second hit as well 

“She’s scared. I’m going to have to ask you to leave because you are not helping.” Izuku’s tone held dominance and authority as the man scoffed “Oh really?-” His words were cut short as Y/N lept towards him and started hitting him. 

she had gotten a few punches in before Izuku had interfered and pulled her back and away from him holding them, they cling to him. “She’s just psycho-” he started again but was cut off by Midoryia straight up shoving him out of the door 

Midoryia had shut the door and looked at the medical supplies and then at Y/N who was back on their bed. Midoryia hummed softly looking at them with a soft but concerned gazed “Are you alright?” They nodded timidly “U-um.. yeah, i think..” 

They kept eyeing the cart and rubbing their arms. Izuku was angry beyond belief but kept his cool for Y/N. “Do you know what these are?” he asked as he walked over to the cart. Y/N nodded “Those are what the use to sedate me and give me my medications..” Izuku nodded and looked at the cart, it had 4 different pills, a tiny box of apple juice and a needle filled with a liquid. He picked up the needle and watched Y/N flinch back 

Izuku shook his head “No, no.. i’m gonna dispose of it, not use it okay?” He went and wrapped it up throwing it in the hazard trash can in the bathroom coming back out looking at the cart. 

“Okay, do you have an order you need to take them in or can you just take them one at a time?” 

Y/N looked confused as they stood up walking to Izuku and the cart “I c-can just take them.. why are you helping? aren’t you supposed to..” 

Izuku shook his head “So far all of you have said that… No, i’m not supposed to be mean, i’m supposed to help you get better so can you take..” he handed Y/N two of the four pills and handed her the apple juice “these and then the other ones?” he smiled

Y/N nodded and took the two and then waited 30 seconds before taking the other two. Izuku nodded and smiled “Thank you.. Now I believe” He stopped and checked his watch “It’s almost dinner time, If you want you can go head down to the cafeteria?” He smiled at her

Y/N thought for a moment “Will you come eat with me?” She tapped her foot on the ground and looked away as Izuku chuckled

 “It’s not my dinner break,” Y/N had frowned and got ready to ask again.

“but I’ll still come sit with you?” Izuku smiled when Y/N’s face lit up 

Y/N gave a big smile and nodded “Okay!” they had opened the door and ran out with an excited yell of “KATSU! TODO! SHIN!” as she catapulted herself into the boys arms as they hugged her back. 

“Why don’t you go to the cafeteria and We’ll be right behind you okay?” Shinsou spoke caring and calmly and all three boys had a quirk of a smile as she smiled and ran off down the halls “GOT IT!” you could hear their laughter as they went down the stairs with a much kinder doctor.

As Izuku walked out of the door locking it behind him he was quickly met with the three faces he’s seen previously looking at him with glares. He gulped before speaking in a meek voice “Y-yes?” Bakugou raised an eyebrow and scoffed before nodding at him “Not a bad idiot.” and the other two nodding in agreement before the bell above them rang for dinner.

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tag list~  @buckyneedsplums @lazywriterfullofideas09 @notchittatenn @physco-101

for some reason it might not let me tag you also if I forgot you just lemme know!

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a/n: I’m so sorry for getting this out so late! I’ve been very busy recently and I’ve been preparing for BIG things in my personal life so chapters may be extremely short or non existent. I also didn’t plan to have so many supporters for this series so i didn’t really have a clue what to do with the story. I still don’t. I have one more chapter ready in my head but after that I’m not sure where this series will go. Anyways, as usual I hope you enjoyed and please feel free to reblog, like or say something in my inbox! I’m open to writing one shots if you guys are interested, I was thinking about writing one shots instead of continuing with actual chapters after chapter 6 

[bucky-at-bedtime]

Stucky Fic Recs

So basically I went through all of my ao3 bookmarks and collated a list of some of my favourites (I couldn't fit all of them on this list, so if anyone shows interest there might be a part two).

Please read tags and descriptions of the works before reading, some of them are pretty dark or extremely horny so just make sure you check that the fic is for you!!

Please please please send me your favourite fics in return! I am always happy to hear fic recs, headcanons and any other ideas/comments you all have!

Without any further ado, here are a few of my favourite Stucky fics:

‘Not Easily Conquered’ series by dropdeaddream, WhatAreFear

Rating: M, Words: 117,692

https://archiveofourown.org/series/115516

“I told you, you heard me: I told you never to follow me into Hell. Now I’m not vain enough to think that’s why you’re out here now — if there’s any person in what’s left of this God forsaken planet who’s part of a bigger picture, it’d be you. But I’ll keep saying it until it sticks. You got nothing to prove. I’m not worth much, I damn well know that, but I’ll ask you anyway: Stay for me. If you leave me alone in this world I’ll turn into something terrible. I’ll turn into the nasty creature that’s growing inside me. This war, it’ll swallow me whole”

[To me, this fic is like the classic Stucky 101 fanfic – if you're a Stucky fan and you haven't read this, I highly recommend it. The authors explore the Steve/Bucky relationship in such an interesting, tragic, emotive way and I cry every time I read it. I couldn't praise this work enough.]

‘Ain’t No Grave’ series by spitandvinegar

Rating: M-E, Words: 131,789

https://archiveofourown.org/series/426577

"Yeah, he never calls me by my name," Steve says. "It's always champ, ace, hotshot, that kinda thing."

"Man, that is flirting," Sam says. "That nicknames thing, he is flirting with you. He's just working his way up to calling you baby or something."

Steve goes redder than a damn coke can. Sam pumps his fist. "Yes, I am so right, I am wise as hell. He did, didn't he?"

"He called me sweetheart," Steve says grimly, "because he's a drug addict with brain damage."

"Or because he looooooves you," Sam says. Captain America throws a cookie at his head. Sam eats it, because he deserves a treat for being so damn wise.”

[I'm currently re-reading this fic and absolutely loving it. The way spitandvinegar writes Bucky's road towards recovery and Steve's entire characterisation – it's all just so good. It's another one that covers some pretty dark themes, so make sure you're checkin those tags!]

'Einherjar' by thecommodore_squid

Rating: M, Words: 71297

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7157024/chapters/16249814

But Steve was fine.

Sure, he hadn’t seen Bucky in months, and sometimes he was at the punching bag so long that his skin started to peel off to expose the bones of his fingers, and sometimes he couldn’t find the energy to drag himself out of bed, and sometimes he went weeks without sleeping, and sometimes he thought about throwing himself head-first off the nearest tall structure, but he was fine.

He was absolutely, perfectly, one-hundred percent, fucking fine.

AKA In which Steve learns how to deal with his shit, and Bucky learns how to stop leaving.

[basically the definition of a recovery fic, I absolutely adore it. This is tragic and amazing and makes me cry and smile. It’s got a bunch of fantastic cameos and It really just ticks so many of my boxes.]

‘Like real People do’ by 2bestfriends

Rating: E, Words: 67,775

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19887376/chapters/47103217

“"Ask me what?" demands Bucky. "I didn't hear a question."

Steve licks his lips. "Will you stay with me? Will you come back home, Buck?"

"Home," repeats Bucky in a small voice, and then he's crying for real.”

[Basically soft lumberjack!steve and lonely twink!bucky being horny and in love. This is a comfort fic for that’s really just about my favourite boys falling in love.]

‘This City Bleeds it’s Aching Heart’ by anonymous

Rating: E, Words: 34,537

https://archiveofourown.org/works/835829/chapters/1591736

“The one where Steve and Bucky pose as a happily married couple while on a mission for SHIELD, to catch an international arms dealer hiding in a suburban neighbourhood.”

[The plot in this one is just a good time and i think it’s just a really fun take on the fake relationship trope. Also some really great characterisation.]

‘Home is Wherever I’m With You’ by cydonic

Rating: E, Words: 88,570

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18868081/chapters/44783077

“Bucky kisses Steve and Emma goodbye before they leave for school, which is why – partway down the road – Amelia turns to him and asks, “why are you and Daddy kissing?”

Which is definitely a conversation Bucky’s been expecting since Steve just did it, but it still takes him by surprise. Again, he thinks he should wait for Steve, but Amelia’s not the sort of kid to let anything rest. Plus, Bucky’s taking her to school where she will undoubtedly share the story with anyone who’ll listen.

He also stops to think that Steve’s asked him to stay, which means Bucky must be trusted with their happiness and well-being, at least in some small capacity.

Bucky clears his throat and searches for some explanation that will help Amelia make sense of this sudden turn of events. “Because we love each other,” is all he comes up with.”

[Bear with me, this is a House Flipper!Bucky Au. And dad!Steve. I just love a found family trope I’m not gonna lie to you. Another comfort fic that warms my lil heart.]

‘Lucky Seven’ by BetteNoire (WeAreWolves)

Rating: E, Words: 94,364

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7033105/chapters/16002481

“Back from where--?” James says, the sentence ending in a distinctly undignified squawk as Steve sweeps him up in his arms, bridal-style, and starts carrying him upstairs.

James tenses momentarily then relaxes into Steve's arms and throws back his head and starts laughing. The laughter peals out of him, his body shaking, his amusement occasionally broken by little gasps of pain.

“What's so funny?” Steve frowns.

“You are,” James says, still giggling. “You're ridiculous, Steve Rogers.”

“Behave. Or I will drop you,” Steve growls.

[The shrunkyclunks modern AU of my dreams featuring Mechanic!Bucky and cap!Steve and some really beautiful writing.]

'Dishonor On Your Cow' by mandarou

Rating: E, Words: 111695

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10659162/chapters/23589582

“Sergeant Barnes?”

“Oh, hell no, don’t call him that, man,” Sam warned.

“Captain Fuck Off!” Barnes shouted over him. “Fight me!”

Steve didn’t know whether to laugh or just slink away. He managed to combine the two by pacing two steps and snorting instead. Like a bull.

“I’m gonna need you to calm your ass, Barnes,” Sam said as he went limp again, obstructing Barnes’s struggling under him. “This is so undignified. That is Captain goddamn America.”

“Captain goddamn America!” Barnes repeated, louder. And angrier.

Steve cleared his throat again. “I’ve been looking for you,” he told Barnes.

“I hope you brought lube this time!” Barnes shouted.

[I’m not gonna lie it took me a minute to get into this one but by the end I was crying with them, laughing with them, and just really in my feels. Some very insane things happen so here’s a few of my favourite tags: ‘Seargent Barnes is done with your Shit Steve’, ‘blatant disrespect of a man’s motorcycle’, ‘Steve you ding dong’ and ‘PR nightmares in the form of Supersoldiers’.]

Propietary Information by Notlucy

Rating: E, Words: 85141

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11964402/chapters/27054777

“Okay, so Bucky Barnes has a crush on Steve Rogers. The guy's gorgeous, talented and, oh yeah, the Chief Design Officer of the biggest tech company in the world. In other words: he's so far out of Bucky's league that he might as well be in a different stratosphere.”

[We were never gonna get through this list without a Sugar Daddy!AU (I have a weakness). This one is… saucy and sexy and sweet and uh pretty kinky so read the tags and all. I’ve read it a few times, and I love the way the author has written Steve in this one, he just makes my heart go '!!!']

‘Roots Have Grown’ by AustinB

Rating: M, Words: 17280

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6912451/chapters/15767941

“Bucky is a mildly agoraphobic veteran with funds to spare, who becomes enamored with the cute blonde guy in his building.

So when Steve mentions needing a roommate to cut down on rent costs, Bucky decides it would be a good idea to volunteer.”

[Another weakness of mine is Roommate AUs, and this one is phenomenal. I tend to go for post serum!Steve stories more often, but this is a pre-serum Steve that I just adore.]

‘The Cold Never Bothered me Anyway’ by icoulddothisallday

Rating: E, Words:75562

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11728869/chapters/26425530

“Bucky Barnes has spent his whole life in a state of mild hypothermia. Steve Rogers has spent the last 70 years in the ice. The two things aren’t related until, suddenly, they are. Shrunkyclunks soulmate AU (AKA the awkward bb au).”

[I think this is the only soulmate AU in my bookmarks? I would totally be down to read more though! This one is really fun and really enjoy Bucky’s characterisation here!]

'War, Children' by Nonymos

Rating: E, Words: 106615

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5373050/chapters/12409394

“After Bucky was released from the hospital, it only took him a couple of weeks to give up on himself. Difficult to believe in any kind of future when the simple act of staying alive was almost too big an effort.

Out the frosted window, across the street, there was a tiny homeless guy burrowing under an awning.”

[An interesting exploration of Bucky’s PTSD with a trans!Steve which was a cool take on his character too!]

'The Company You Keep' by orbingarrow

Rating: G, Words: 51191

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3468605/chapters/7613072

“Hurt, hungry, and on the run, the Winter Soldier doesn’t have a lot of safe options to go to for help. Figuring that any friend of Captain Steve Rogers is unlikely to be HYDRA, Bucky takes a chance and reaches out to the first Avenger he can find.

It works out better than anyone could have expected. Eventually.”

[hurt/comfort, recovering Bucky, protective Steve, found family and domestic avengers, need I say more? I absolutely loved this one]

[ravysu]

Sannin headcanons and thoughts

The last thing I would like to post for the sannin week. It is still 24.04 here! :D @sannin-central

This is long. Spoiler alert. Mostly Orochimaru, some Tsunade, a little of Jiraiya (because his story is pretty clear and spoken and idk what I can add). Also I recommend to read this meta about Orochimaru, it has influenced me a lot and has some good points. Sorry for any posible grammar mistakes. Also I really should put here a lot of references to the manga or anime but it was something that was piling up for a year and I'm soooooooo lazy. After all, those are just headcanons. Also: Im not excusing Oro's bad stuff here, Im trying to understand the reasons.

Ive already posted some hcs, here, here and here.

1. First if all, the chronology pic of sannin lifetime based on the info i found on naruto wiki and also some statements about wars from this post. It was tough considering what a mess naruto’s chronology is.

2. Sannin story shows what it cost to be a legend. They're like Team 7 but more realistic. Tsunade literally carried the war but left with nothing and developed a ptsd and have problems to just live on. Also anger control issues. I think she can be pretty bossy and stubborn which is not always nice. Jiraiya is the hero of the day but also very idealistic and can ignore some important details in the real word whether its the fight (he always injured during flashbacks maybe because each time he took too much to handle and on the one hand it's heroistic but on the other is a mistake that can lead your team to situations like in that Iwa cave) or your friends issues (I bet he saw what's going on but thought it's fine until Oro actually got red handed and left). He lives in his world and may have problems to get out to see it through someone else's shoes. As for Orochimaru, it seems like he was a normal guy for 20+ years (I mean, he didn't do crazy criminal shit and had something good in him and it was stated somewhere that it was his teammates influence. It is obvious they considered him as a friend, I don't thinks it was for nothing) but we mostly know his darkest side. Despite being a moster he is a human that have empathy and some ordinary human traits (man just decorates every bit of an environment he is in lol).

3. Tsunade was the leader of team Hiruzen.

4. Tsunade sometimes hit Jiraiya for some stupid things he did or said but never touches Orochimaru even if he did something same. Jiraiya complained about it once and almost got another hit.

5. Jiraiya had problematic parents that didn't care about him much and a lot of time he was wandering in the streets.

6. Judging by the look of Oro bangs and hair, he sometimes cut it off. A stress relief huh? And the fact that he doesn't do it now in Boruto..

7. It was shown that Tsunade and Orochimaru was acknowledged before they become a team. Maybe they did just before, or maybe some longer time before. I prefer the second option and hc that they met because both had no real friends - Orochimaru seemed weird and scary for everyone and Tsunade was Senju so everyone wanted to hang out with her but didn't really care. They weren't seen as what they were - people put the labels on them. But they didn't care about each other's labels and actually saw each other in true lights.

8. Tsunade knew it was an accident and it's not right but still she blamed Orochimaru for Nawaki's death for some time. It was something that seriously damaged their friendship and the team. Orochimaru was mad but also guilty, after all, he was responsible at least as a shinobi since Nawaki was under his watch. So he started to act cold and emotionless and was trying to distance himself from his teammates.

9. Jiraiya was in Ame while Dan died.

10. The whole his orphans mission was a bit irresponsible tbh. They already fought Hanzo and as he stated the conflict between Konoha and Ame is going to an end with Konoha's win. It's weird to stay here for three years in the middle of the war while there were other lands to fight. He left his teammates for some idea. Maybe that caused another crack in their team friendship.

11. If Tsunade would have find a way to live on with her trauma and follow the will of fire and stuff it would affect Orochimaru as well just as her grief affected him. It's like he would get an example that you can live on with this pain. So death isn't above human capability and we are not just the slaves of mortality (sounds stupid but i dont know how else to describe sorry). But as we know what he actually saw is that it broke her crucially to the point she couldnt be herself again. And so the death is above everything.

12. Oro wasn’t just acting as a cold pragmatic bitch in that cave but also tried to save Tsunade. Jiraiya knew it and that’s why he showed this sign to him like "I see what youre doing here" and that stunned Oro because he would prefer to look rather like a cold pragmatic bitch hehe

13. Just a thought. People in the village probably treated Oro as a foreigner or just wouldnt accept him because he looked so differently and had a weird attitude. That's why he sometimes didn't feel that Konoha is his home. After the wars where people were treated as means and tools, even the children, he himself developed this view on people - he dehumanized them and used as the means to his goals, just as his village did. Funny thing some people were straightly dehumanizing him too like Ibiki thought that he was a demon (tho he was a child). And he probably weren't the only one. Anyways the point is that it's logical that Orochimaru don't care about anybody but some few people, he's the product of his era. He's like Naruto that would chose the hatred way. But naruto had some good and understanding people around him and.. Orochimaru had them too, but match how Iruka treated Naruto and this Hiruzen's "I sAw tHe mAliCe in This cHiLd fRoM tHe BegGinNinG". And oro didn't even have a big ass evil fox in him. sry i hate hiruzen

ANYWAYS the moral of the story is not "go criminal if they hurt you" but always treat people like people. Waving my hand to Kant.

14. The reason why Orochimaru didn't pick some good morals to stick with through the hard times no matter what (like, idk, Jiraiya or Naruto) is because 1) I think he is/was pretty depending on people around him 2) the war fucked him and his friends up too much (Nawaki incident + Tsunade) 3) twisted addictions (though I don't think he's that sadistic, we never saw him torturing randoms just for fun, it was always some science experimental shit. He tends to get fun out of cruelty only when it's personal) that maybe developed as a way to sublimate anger and sadness caused by his parents loss (that's what they share with sasuke - unlicke naruto, they knew their parents and it's other kind of pain. Sasuke developed a revenge issue and Orochimaru - cruelty pleasure which... is kinda the same but less epic and more occasional lol).

15. Speaking of that, Orochimaru cared for Sasuke because he saw himself in him.

16. Oro hold grudges against Hiruzen for not choosing him to be Hokage not only because he was ambitious and/or egoistic, but also because Hiruzen was some kind of a father figure for him and his approval was important tho i doubt he was aware of that. He also probably could tell that Hiruzen was suspicios about him when he was a child and that led to many conflicts and was hurting as well.

17. Tsunade knew things weren't pretty with Orochimaru after the wars but she never expected them to be this bad. During the week that she was given in her arc she thought not only about how much she wants to see Nawaki and Dan again despite how wrong would it be but also was trying to bury all the good memories she had left of Orochimaru so it would be easier to kill him.

18. She poisoned Jiraiya exactly because she knew he would not let her do it. Jiraiya was always hesitant to kill and inclined to forgiveness, while Tsunade, as mentioned by Orochimaru, could be merciless (so much so that he was not surprised when Kabuto suggested that she wanted to use Jira for Edo Tensei).

19. That was one of her traits that scared Jiraiya and fascinated Orochimaru.

20. Remember how Oro grabbed Jiraiya's neck when the latter was trying to cover with hair jutsu? On the snake, in Tsnade's arc. Orochimaru could have easily kill Jiraiya by pulling the sword out of the mouth (arteries are right there) but he didn't. As well as he could kill Tsunade when she was still shaking - just aim for the neck or the heart. Instead, he just injured her lung and kicked her which is not a big deal for the kind of shinoby like her at all.. Also he helped Anko not accidentally kill herself but it would be way much profitable to let her do it. "Orochimaru has no feelings".

21. The reason he suddenly wanted to kill Tsunade instead of forcing her to heal his arms as it was planned (which is weird since it will not going to get him heals and he kinda said that he wouldn't want to kill her just minutes ago) is that not only she refused to help him (he thought he could work it out) but she also prefered the village over him (from his point of view). Out if everyone she was the closest to being able to understand him since the village caused her painful losses too but nevertheless she agreed to be on it's side.

22. He wasn't fighting her back in the end partly because he thought he deserved that. Somewhere deep inside hahah.

23. Tsunade got a fear to develop deep bonds so they probably weren't very close with Shizune (also the way she knocked her down in this hotel.. oh).

24. Orochimaru will be here when she'll die.

25. Orochimaru's eng dub to Tsunade: "I often wondered what it would be like to ring that pretty neck yours". No comments.

26. Orochimaru is either bi/pan or ace. Anything or nothing lmao

27. Hiruzen knew about at least some of the Oro’s illegal experiments and was okay just as he was okay with the Foundation all the time. Because it’s useful. Then he has discovered he went too far OR he knew everything and oro just became too inconvenient because of his methods. The way Orochimaru tells Sasuke about reasons they are well treated as the criminals is based on in his experience with Hiruzen.

28. As you may know the lyrics in Orochimaru’s music theme goes “don’t talk with the silence of the heart”. It was taken from one Indian song that also had lines like “don’t question life too much”, ”pain arose somewhere in the chest”, “don’t speak to the wounds of the heart”. Though I’m not sure 100% because I was translating it with some hindi dictionary with like zero knowledge of hindi

29. I like to think that this “silence of the heart” theme and the fact that he called his village a hidden sound village are somehow connected. The hidden sound is the possible explanation of all things waiting to be listened to but the truth is silent and you know it deep in your heart and it bothers you. The world is silent just like the life is meaningless but people can only hear. *Sigh* anyways

30. Orochimaru’s journey is the one about accepting death. When he saw Karin released her chains while was trying to get to Sasuke he understood that the death is a part of human’s strength.

Can’t wait to feel that everything I wrote is wrong or not enough or stupid and obvious lol. Anyways, it’s something that I wanted to share until I move to some other fandom.

[luv-leni]

Vampire!Cravity with a human s/o

Authors Note: Hey guys so listen the inspiration for this one hit me like a semi-truck. Which means this one is long(especially minhee’s) I mean like 2k words long. I’m very sorry 😭 please let me know if having this all be one reaction kills your eyes and I’ll edit it and split it into two separate posts.

Warnings: blood, dark themes, suggestive in minhee’s part if u squint, violence, death, and overall angst. There is fluff in here too I promise. This is all fiction!

Enjoy!!

Reaction under the cut.

Serim

A gentleman but a gentleman in a high position

He probably works for a big company

He wasn’t turned too long ago so his age isn’t a problem

He has literally no clue what he’s gonna do when his age does become a problem

Anyway this businessman is very friendly

He is charming and acts like he’s got nothing to hide

U meet him outside of his workplace maybe in a coffee shop

He’s dressed to the nines and super cute so u can’t help but stare at him

Of course he notices so he offers to pay for your drink

Correction he insists on paying for ur drink

This sparks a conversation, mainly about why he’s out in public in a three-piece suit

He talks about his work and meetings and stuff u aren’t really interested in

Before u can completely lose interest tho, his eyes capture ur attention

They almost look like they’re glowing

U interrupt him to ask about his eyes and he shifts uncomfortably and brushes it off

U being perceptive notice that maybe this well put together businessman isn’t all that he seems

He on the other hand thinks u are amazing for a human and he is attracted to u very quickly

look at you heart-stealer 😉

U two start dating for completely different reasons, u want to see the skeletons in his closet and he is falling helplessly in love with u

While snooping through his personality and life u find urself starting to fall for him too

Soon his secret won’t even matter to u

Serim is very good at keeping his secret so u aren’t going to find out unless he wants u to

So whether u find out about it or not is up to him

But he is a great boyfriend so u can’t complain

Allen

Ancient vamp

Allen would be the vampire who’s been around for like 400 years

When u meet he’s reluctant to be friendly with u

He’s old enough to have seen all the people he loves leave him

So he doesn’t want to get hurt :(

It would take some persistence from u but he’d eventually warm up to you

You’d fall in love with him and all his cool vampire features

His cold skin and glowing eyes

And he falls for u hard

He’s soft to u through the whole relationship because he doesn’t want u to think he’s dangerous

Even though out of all the boys Allen might be one of the more dangerous vampires

One thing is for sure he will protect u fiercely from anyone or anything

Jungmo

Jungmo lives as if he was still human

He’s been alive(well as alive as a vampire can get) for long enough to know what he’s doing but not long enough to lose his innocence

He still loves human activities

He exercises even though he doesn't need it and eats the foods he loves even though he doesn't need to eat

He goes to the park and plays with dogs

He meets u while playing fetch with a German shepherd

U just think he’s a normal guy who is very active

When u find out he’s a vampire u don’t really believe him

And then u see his fangs

He suddenly becomes much more intimidating

He does his best to reassure u he’s still the same guy u fell in love with he just drinks blood sometimes

now u get why he volunteers at the blood bank so much

Woobin

Sweet boy

Ruby blends into society very well as a vampire

He hangs out at coffee shops and bookstores he probably even works at one

U meet him there and he is an amazing gentleman

He doesn’t want u to know he’s a vampire because u are so cute and sweet and doesn’t want to scare u

he also doesn't want to confront the fact that he is going to live forever and u won't :(

But then u find bags of blood in his freezer

When u confront him about it he is so gentle and sweet that u really aren’t that freaked out

And he shows u his cool vamp powers and promises to never hurt u

A better love story than twilight

Wonjin

Flirt flirt flirt

He thinks if he’s gonna live forever he is gonna make it worth it

So he flirts with anybody and everybody

But when he meets u

He notices that u make him feel different than everybody else

Ur different, special

U make his undead heart race and he becomes addicted to u

He still flirts with u but he does it differently

He means everything he says about u

When u agree to date him he feels alive for the first time in a while

When u find out he’s a vamp the world gets 10x more exciting

U get a boyfriend who’s basically invincible and has cool powers

Jinnie is so relieved that u aren’t scared he wraps u in a big hug and picks u up with his vampire strength

A super exciting relationship with a very exciting boy

Minhee

Ooh mysterious~

Minhee is barely noticeable in everyday life

He rarely goes out during the day and works somewhere private so he doesn’t have to meet many people

When he does go out he blends into the shadows and is so sneaky that he could get away with almost anything if he wanted to

It’s lonely but he prefers it that way

He wouldn’t talk to u unless he absolutely had to

So maybe he works in a private office and u get hired as his assistant

He doesn’t want an assistant but being a big strong vampire doesn’t mean he can do everything by himself

Ur first day u notice how closed off and dark he is

But u are determined to be his friend

As time goes on minhee becomes intrigued by how determined u are (bonus points if ur good at being his assistant)

All the tension that has been building between u two comes to a head when u confront him in his office and ask him why he’s so cold to everyone

He gets this intimidating look in his eyes and says “people aren’t worth my time anymore” or something dramatic like that

You get upset because like?? Ur obviously worth his time 🙄

So to prove it u kiss him

He’s surprised but he wants it as much as u do so he doesn’t push u away

He thinks that maybe just maybe ur the one human he can let his guard down for

Then u guys make out on his desk

Hyeongjun

I think being a vampire would dull hyeongjun a bit

He used to be this cheerful happy boy but living forever can really take a toll

So he’s a little shyer and a little quieter as he moves through daily life

He never stays in one place too long because he doesn’t want anyone to suspect him

So he doesn’t have friends or partners for very long

Then he meets u

Ur kind and friendly and u remind him of who he used to be

So he immediately becomes ur friend

Something about u is different compared to the people he usually meets it’s like he’s drawn to u

Hyeongjun comes to trust u very quickly and ends up telling u his secret himself

U don’t believe him because vampires?? real?? uh huh sure.

Hyeongjun still has the same personality deep inside so he has to show off to u so he picks up ur couch with one hand to prove he’s telling the truth

Ur rightfully shocked and he is visibly nervous

He wants u to accept him so u think over all the good memories you’ve had with him while he stares at u with wide eyes

U love him so eventually u decide to accept him and keep his secret and he couldn’t be more grateful

U accepting him definitely bring out more of his cheerful personality

U two probably move away from the city into the countryside where no one can find u

It’s peaceful and beautiful and u get to spend the rest of ur life with the one u love

Taeyoung

That last one was so sad let’s move on to the cheerful stuff

Tae is a helpful boy!

He’s gonna live forever so he’s like ‘might as well make the world a better place since I’m gonna be here forever'

He volunteers literally everywhere

He does community service and works at nursing homes

The type to go around and pay for people’s parking meters in his free time

Like jungmo he volunteers at blood banks to get his blood because he doesn’t want to hurt anybody

He does all of this under fake names that he changes every once in a while so that way no one questions why somebody who should be like 90 looks 18

He meets u while helping out at an animal shelter

U come in looking for an animal to adopt

(If u don’t like animals then u come in looking for work)

Tae helps u out with the cutest smile on his face

He’s so cute that u ask him for his number

He agrees and everything goes smoothly for u two for a while

Once ur further in the relationship tho, tae’s secret starts to eat at him

He loves u and thinks u deserve to know the truth and he hates hiding things from u

So, like hyeongjun, he tells u his secret

He does it sweetly and holds ur hand so u don’t freak out

Accept this boy and his secret and he will treat u like a queen

He doesn’t like using his vampire powers but if it makes u happy then he will

He will keep u happy for the rest of ur life if u let him

Seongmin

My babysitters a vampire incarnate

He’s a baby vampire who got turned while in high school

He can’t really control himself so he stays away from people as best he can

U see him while in class and in the hallways and u think the poor boy is just shy

He doesn’t sit with anybody during class and eats lunch alone

U find him one day outside the school eating lunch and ask to sit with him

He hesitantly agrees and u notice how cute he is

U talk to him for a while and he isn’t very responsive or talkative so u ask him why he sits alone so much

Ur expecting usual answers like maybe he doesn’t have any friends maybe people make him nervous but no

He says that he has a secret 👀

Now ur interested so u ask him what it is

He says he's a vampire and ur like damn the cute boy is crazy this sucks :((

But then he offers to prove it so u say sure and he

Has fangs???

Those must be fake right??

U lean forward and touch them and prick ur finger on one

Nope they’re real and now ur bleeding 😃

Seongmin’s eyes go wide and he scoots away from u while u search ur bag for a bandaid

When the awkwardness subsides and seongmin stops looking at u like ur dinner, u start talking about this very unique situation

He tells u that he’s literally been starving since he was first turned and needs blood badly

And u just so happen to volunteer at a hospital

So u offer to get him blood if he promises to not eat u..he agrees obviously

And that marks the start of ur very strange high school relationship

Despite how strange he can be he truly loves u and takes care of u throughout school

U two are now inseparable