#but I have also seen stories that treat his addiction as a very cut and dried thing and that is simply. not realistic

[rosieofcorona]

I know this is gonna get me thrown in the stocks but you can't tell me Cullen doesn't still crave lyrium after he quits taking it. Not just when he has nightmares and feels bad, but when he feels euphoric, too. He thinks about it when the Inquisitor goes down on him and he thinks about it after a victory and he thinks about it during a particularly invigorating training session. That's not to say he wants everything that comes with it, or even that he's tempted enough to go back. But that's how addiction works (especially with substances that make one feel powerful) and I think it's wild to pretend he'd never think about it in those contexts again.

[deadbeat-motel]

ᗩᑎGEᒪ ᗪᑌᔕT ᖇEᗪEᔕIGᑎ

Me going talky-talky below the cut

I wanted to redesign this guy the most because of so many issues I have with his actual design, namely:

The suit is a travesty.... for both his background as a hypersexual porn actor and a previous mafia member. It does not read well as a good design for an Italian mobster of the 1920s. Do you really not think he would rock a pinstripe? I mean come on, those three horizontal lines on his suit look really tacky to me. You should've taken that pinstripe suit from Sir Pentious and given it to him instead. and not only that but it doesn't even read well as a porn actor who has no qualms about being sexualized and pretty much even revels in it. why does the suit basically cover him up like a conservative politician? come on, let him show off a bit more.

WHY A BOWTIE??? WHY??? A SIMPLE GOOGLE SEARCH WILL SHOW YOU THAT A NECKTIE WAS MORE IN FASHION DURING THAT TIME RATHER THAN A BOWTIE. The bowtie was something that pissed me off so much about the design.

He's not a very good spider design. the only thing about him that looks remotely spider-like is that he has those eye dots under the eyes and the many limbs.... nothing else. not the very large abdomen or the actual 4 pairs of limbs a spider is supposed to have. Not even a web pattern on him like Spiderman who embodies "spider" more than him.

YOU TOOK THE FLOOF OFF OF HIM??? THE ICONIC FLOOF???? unacceptable. In retaliation, I'm giving it back bigger than ever you coward!

Anyways, here's the thought process I went through with this design:

He needed to embody his Mafia/porn addict themes through his clothing so I went with an outfit that looks like a slutty Halloween costume of a mobster. Plus it would have also differentiated him from his family who most likely would've had a stronger Mafia vibe than he did.

Gave him a tiny little hat too because i thought it looked cute.

I remember hearing that Angel Dust's most iconic part was his head's unusual shape, so I decided to keep it on him but tweaked it a little bit with his hair covering the other half of his face. (This was for some kind of lore reason, maybe he's insecure about his heterochromia, That's where he was shot and has an X over it, or his eyes are malformed on that side, still thinking about it)

Originally was going to have matching black gloves for his arms too but then it was harder to see what was his arm or leg so I let him have nothing instead to keep the pairs of limbs separated

Gave him some hoop rings too because why not let a bad bitch have one?

I've seen necktie cat collars go around earlier and thought it would fit well for Angel Dust considering I didn't give him a shirt and that i took off his choker as well.

Aside from a MASSIVE flooff, I also gave him a massive spider "butt" with the missing pair of limbs. I decided to make it legs because honestly, It's much harder to think of how he would emote naturally with 6 arms. Plus it was interesting to think about how a 4 legged bipedal would work. Immediately my first thought went to Squidward Tentacles from both the show and the musical but then it wouldn't work because of the complexity of the legs. It's main purpose now is to both hold up the large spider "butt" and be his self-defense when being approached from behind.

Originally was going to have those big ass claw things on his mouth (I'm most likely wrong but the 'chelicerae' thing?) but thought it would clutter the design too much and because there was a big possibility that Val probably ripped them off of him when he had bitten once, if not multiple times, in self-defense.)

I'll probably talk about him more when he pops up in an episode I'm going to go in-depth about or give him his own dedicated rant about how Vivziepop treated his story.

[gavin-reed-is-gay]

One subtle thing I like about Hank and Gavin’s relationship is that despite Gavin’s opinion and open disdain for Hank’s behaviour, Hank never retaliates.

We’ve seen Hank get physical with people who piss him off/talk shit to him (punching Perkins and grabbing Connor by the collar) so it’s well within his personality to assault or manhandle Gavin if he pisses him off but he never does.

Gavin’s main gripe with Hank is his drinking. We know from the story that his addiction has not been the norm for him and that it’s come with his grief from losing Cole.

Neil Newbon has said that he headcanons that that Gavin had once looked up to Hank and that Gavin fears that one day he may end up jaded like Hank so seeing someone he admired fall from grace would have cut Gavin deeply.

It’s not also just the drinking but the showing up to work as a police officer drunk, pulling his weapon on fellow officers as well (which Gavin has heavily implied wasn’t a one time thing) and being shown leniency through it all mostly because the Captain of the DPD is Hank’s friend that would also piss Gavin off.

Given all of this and Gavin’s tendency to be honest and upfront, it’s no wonder he treats Hank the way he does. Gavin’s dislike of Hank does not come from nowhere.

Now back to the original point.

That’s why I like the detail of Hank never telling Gavin to fuck himself because Hank is not stupid. He is capable of being very introspective of his thoughts and realises that him blaming androids, his behaviour and the way he handled his grief were all wrong and he wants to be better.

Hank never gets mad at Gavin cause he knows what Gavin says is true.

Gavin only brings up Hank’s negative actions, his constant drinking, being intoxicated at work and Fowler’s bias towards him.

If Gavin were truly an unrepentant asshole who just despised Hank, he would have mentioned Cole and mocked Hank about his death but that never happens. Connor is actually shown to be more mocking about Cole’s death (when he says little Cole didn’t make it)

Hank could tell Gavin to shove it or keep his opinions to himself but again, I think it shows that deep down, Hank knows how he’s behaving is wrong but he just can’t help it and that’s why he never says a word.

[the-paris-of-people]

Truly I need to talk about the under-appreciated gem that is Canaan Green. We talk about Lila, Kimberly, Leighton, Nico, Whitney, Jackson, Tatum, and semi-Alicia (I really feel like the Alicia underappreciation is REAL) but aside from the break-up with Whitney, I never see anyone talk about Canaan as a character and a love interest.

Our first introduction to Canaan is that he's incredibly funny. The way he flips the script on Kimberly when she asks him what it's like being black at Essex by fabricating a story about his crack-addicted mother is absolutely hysterical and the way he drags Lila into it as well makes it for an excellent scene, one of my favorites of season 1. I love his reactions to Kimberly's antics, like when she pulls the hard-boiled eggs out of her pocket, Christopher Meyer's comedic timing is just absolutely excellent and I feel as if not enough people appreciate those little moments in which he infuses Canaan's reactions.

Canaan is probably one of the most multi-faceted, well-balanced students we've seen at Essex so far, or at least a great example of one (Honestly they're all killing it at college). In s1ep5: That Comment Tho, he tells Kimberly to focus on her Econ homework instead of obsessing over the comment from Nico on her Instagram. We know that he works several jobs, including at Sips and on the side picks up catering gigs. At the beginning of season 2, we learn that he has a detailed ten year plan to become a hedge fund manager of an impact investing firm, then later we learn he founded a startup to off-set the cost of AD treatments. At the Econ banquet, we also learn he was in the top of THREE of the professor's classes, so clearly he takes his schoolwork seriously enough to perform well too. He also has an active social life at the KJ House, has time to date, and has several friends with whom he hangs out. He's incredibly ambitious, hardworking and balanced as a student, and what's shocking of all of this information, is that he's incredibly humble about it. He didn't want to go to the banquet to accept his Econ department award for whatever reason, and Kimberly, who worked with Canaan ALL YEAR, was shocked go hear about his accomplishments.

I always think it's telling if a person is kind or not by how they treat multiple people, and Canaan treats Kimberly, Whitney, and Lila really well throughout the series. He and Lila are clearly close friends at the coffee house and he sings her praises to the customer in the episode where Kimberly encourages Lila to interview for the manager position, and he takes Lila home when she's too sick at the Winter Underland party. Although I don't like that he didn't tell Whitney about Zoe's feelings for him, I thought it was really mature of him to call their relationship off before they could progress any further after she snooped through his phone. No one I ever knew from college, or even anyone I knew who is an adult now, could ever have the foresight or self-awareness to do anything like that. Even after their breakup, he's kind to Whitney when he sees her around, actually acknowledges and is civil to her. AGAIN, way more mature than any breakups I saw at that age. In general, I really thought Canaan treated Whitney well while they were together, he was really kind and encouraging and the "talking behind her back" he did was honestly just normal conversation to friends about the person he was dating and he immediately apologized and reassured Whitney when she brought it up. Canaan is also clearly so openly appreciative of Kimberly in several instances throughout the series, to giving her a cut of the tips they made when she helped him with the catering gig at the comedy gala (which was wholly unnecessary and a very kind gesture) to thanking her MULTIPLE times throughout the night for encouraging him to attend the econ banquet and deserve his well-deserved recognition. Just by the way he speaks to others, he's very kind and gentle even when being sarcastic or funny or firm. Lastly, we learn that Canaan cares deeply about his family and thinks it's his responsibility to take care of his mom's AD, which is incredibly sweet and something I would love to see in the next season with Kimberly.

Canaan is also... fucking hot, let's be real. I mean, that face, that body, that smile? His romantic looks? I adore him. We learn more about him with each episode he stars in and there's clearly more to learn which I think also makes for a compelling love interest. IMHO Canaan is by far the best love interest on the show and an under-appreciated character and he needs more love

[mwagneto]

Just saw your post about the many sherlock holmes adaptations and their problems and wanted to ask, what do you think are the worst and best adaptations + your opinion on the bbc show vs guy ritchie’s adaptation

PHEW okay big question. so in my personal opinion my favourite adaptation is the ritchie one and my least favourite is bbc. objectively speaking the worst ones are ... well there's a lot I'm ngl I'm very picky but probably Holmes & Watson, the absolute trainwreck that some cruel force allowed to be made and released in 2018 which is awful in every single way like it's genuinely unwatchable. Granada/the Jeremy Brett one is probably the most faithful, but i think Murder by decree and Without a clue are great takes on it, and of course The private life of SH is iconic and Russian Holmes is close to my heart because the locations and architecture etc look really similar to where i live so it's really special that way. (i actually have a tierlist of almost every adaptation I've seen, there's been more since but I've been too lazy to update it lmao)

putting this under a cut because it got LONG

i think there's several layers to what makes an adaptation great, like to ME the most important thing is that they nail the h&w dynamic, either by using the one in the books or by making it clear that they understood what the dynamic was and chose to put a different spin on it but like. if they're not obviously "can't live without each other" friends and (at least) a little bit gay then what's the point. also with modern adaptations there's smtg I've literally only seen done right ONE time, which is Holmes's drug use where everyone adapting it to the 21st century insists on keeping it cocaine or smtg similar? which, like, no????? like ppl don't seem to realise that when he was written, cocaine was like. perfectly acceptable. and Watson still worries about it because he's a doctor but that's in no way equivalent to someone NOW using cocaine and their doctor friend worrying. there's that super old post that's like "modern holmes should be addicted to energy drinks" and well yeah. absolutely that, or the way House md solved it by having him be addicted to painkillers that he gets in a kinda shady way sometimes.

n then obviously there's the cases. again this is an opinion but i think it's good when they're straight up adapted, and i think it's good when they invent a brand new mystery, but i absolutely cannot Stand when they take an existing case from the books but put their own ~special smart boy~ spin on it cough cough MOFFAT like the worst examples of this are probably the way he butchered Baskerville and ASIB because he thought he was sooo much smarter than everyone and couldn't just adapt these extremely iconic stories straight up, nonono let's make them a billion times worse.

as for Ritchie vs BBC, i don't really think i can compare them, simply because I can't be objective? like the rdj holmes movies are easily among my favourite movies of all time, not because they're so outstandingly good but simply because I'm so attached to them, while even a mention of BBC can send me into feral dog mode. not to mention my history w them is 1. complicated 2. inherently tied to each other so yeah i don't think an objective comparison from me is really possible, at least if i want to avoid making this response a 10 hour read. but umm if i wanna go by key points:

1. i think rdj absolutely nails the h&w dynamic while bbc completely butchers it

2. rdj kinda expands his drug use but i think it works rly well with the kinda person his holmes is, i fucking hate the way bbc treats his drug use and the only slightly nice moment about it was in the unaired pilot that. well. didn't air

3. i haaaaate the way rdj handles irene and i fucking. despise beyond words the way bbc handles irene. i dont think i have ever seen irene adapted well it's fucking miserable

4. i think the cases in rdj are... fine? they're not good tbh as in like if i was here for a mystery I wouldn't really like it BUT they're original and written in a way where they give you, the viewer, all the clues that Holmes has, so you have the ability to figure out the solutions along with him, which is crucial to any sh adaptation (and mystery in general). it's also camp and fun and ridiculous which i really like so yea no complaints from me. bbc on the other hand. god. jesus. well i mentioned this before but i fucking hate the way they adapt every story to be almost the same but way way worse because they think they're so much smarter than the books AND the viewers. and this segways into

5. aka their treatment of watson. i fawking love rdj watson i think he's one of the best watsons out there and i like him coz of his whole attitude and personality but i also think he's written extremely well in that so often adaptations fall into the trap i mentioned in the other post where they think holmes is the smartest specialest boy ever and they're just like him fr and he doesn't need anyone so watson is either just some useless guy trying and failing to keep up with holmes or a straight up punching bag. but here they actually make Watson not just competent but absolutely indispensable to both Holmes and the story, it's clear that Holmes both relies on him in things he doesn't know as well as Watson does (crucial!!!!!) and trusts him (watson) to figure things out almost as well as he (holmes) can which i think are incredibly good and important things to put in an adaptation because at the end of the day it's holmes and watson not holmes and some guy who's sometimes there to be talked at and not understand things. which of course brings me to bbc where . literally the only thing john does is get kidnapped like he's barely even there for the cases let alone HELP in any way. so yeah.

this could go on to be incredibly long because i am. absolutely insane about sherlock holmes but I'm gonna end it here, if you have any questions feel free to ask, i (evidently) really love talking about them so

[kaiokentimesten]

Hello! so you’re like one of the very few blogs I know that has a better understanding of c!schlatt- and I just kinda wanted to know what he’s all about! :D I don’t 100% trust the general understanding the fandom has for him (for the very reason that some people think vilbur is even accurate to canon) and I was interested in what you know! :)

Oh anon!! Tysm that's so sweet of you to say :D it's crazy to think I am one of The c!Schlatt Guys to some people. This rant gets p long so I’m putting it under the cut sorry this took so long lollllllll

It's pretty fair to not trust the fanon understanding of c!Schlatt because...well, it's not great. Generally, people see him as just a horrible, abusive monster and an absolute villain up until the end, which...isn't the full story, imo. c!Schlatt to me shows off some of the ugliest parts of humanity, and what happens when you refuse to better yourself and accept help

There's a steady decline to c!Schlatt. As the DSMP goes on, he becomes more unstable and a lot more paranoid, not even trusting the people in his own cabinet. He loses himself in his own addiction that he only relies on because he's in so much pain all the time, as seen in Fundy's "A Spy's Diary". Quoted directly from that:

"Schlatt has a severe addiction to alcohol and cigarettes to suppress his aching body. He is unwilling to get it checked due to his pride. If the symptoms progress, he might suffer fatal consequences." (Page 17)

"Schlatt is incapable of swimming. After further inspection it seems to be a form of muscle atrophy. He uses protein supplements to regain a viable level of strength. He seems to get weaker by the day." (Page 18)

He was too prideful to get any help for his illnesses, so he continued to spiral downward. His treatment of others led to him dying in a van, surrounded but alone since everyone at that point pretty much hated him. It's sad, tragic even, because it didn't have to be this way, but it was

Still, this isn't to say Schlatt doesn't do horrible things. The way he treats people—Quackity, Niki, and Tubbo in particular—is terrible. There's the festival where he executes Tubbo, but there's also his heavy taxation and singling out of Niki, and the abuse he constantly bombards Quackity with. There's this clip I always think of where Q is trying to propose to Schlatt, and Schlatt's ignoring him and brushing him off up until Q threatens to leave. Then, he puts on this sweet voice and goes "where are you going? come back!" only to call Quackity a flatty patty when he does. (clip here.) It's cruel!

Schlatt is such a fascinating antagonist because he knows just how to get under everyone's skin. His cruel pettiness is absolutely perfect for everyone involved (especially someone like c!Wilbur), and the best part about it is how he does everything in such a fucking funny way

That's the thing. c!Schlatt isn't this cold, unfeeling monster that just abuses everyone around him—nor is he constantly shouting at people and hitting them. He's calm, collected, and he's funny. He's able to make you feel like you're being unreasonable, and he's able to rally people against you because of his charisma. It's so cool! I love it. I love this guy so much even though he kind of sucks

But, like I said, to say that he's just A Villain does him a bit dirty I think. His addiction and chronic illness plays such an important part to his story, and I think it's a disservice to have it go unmentioned. He's a guy with a lot of problems that did some really shitty things, and isn't that just perfect for the DreamSMP?

TLDR: c!Schlatt did a lot of shitty things but calling him just a one note villain does a bit of disservice to his character imo. He’s my little bah bah blorbo etc etc

[juniperhillpatient]

I feel like over explaining my thought process behind aspects of happenstance, not because anyone asked just because I love rambling about my projects & hey - maybe if ur a reader you’ll find it interesting idk. I take a very specific approach to the “he would not fucking say that” vs “it’s fanfic that’s the whole point” dichotomy of fan creation & it’s “under what circumstances would he say that?” it’s all about pushing the characters to new limits & playing with them in new genres & with different backstories (that still take from their core canon backstories but change things slightly. changing it too completely defeats the purpose for me but that’s another post)

under the cut you’ll find me ranting & raving about my own character writing & psychoanalyzing Azula, Katara, & Jet the three most important characters lbr

let’s start with a question. I haven’t seen it recently but I’ve seen it before for this story & I like talking about the worsties a lot so - “why are Jet & Azula best friends when they’re constantly horrible to each other?” because they’re both the absolute worst next question <3 just kidding I’m going to elaborate. to understand this dynamic (which none of the other characters really do, side note) you gotta understand these 2 are not friends despite being awful to each other - the fact that they get to be awful is a big reason they’re such good friends.

Azula & Jet share some very unpleasant character traits that other fans might prefer to downplay or have them work on in fics but that contribute to my love for them - they’re both deeply manipulative & more often than not treat relationships transactionally based on what they get out of it. there’s exceptions obviously where each of their more endearing traits persevere in some relationships but they are absolutely not each other’s exception - the opposite. they get to be cruel to each other & sabotage each other & arguably each get a sense of satisfaction (or at least feel better about themselves) watching the other’s failures (Azula actively find’s entertainment in Jet’s lack of ability to have a stable relationship, the second Jet notices Azula’s relationship slipping he considers making a move, she used his horrible drunk driving accident against him & he mocked her for her lack of sexual experience & for her addiction etc etc)

I think there is something deliciously addictive to both Jet & Azula about a friend they can be their worst self around & toward hence why there is no boundaries to how nasty they can be & they will always forgive each other instantly because they both feed on letting their crueler tendencies reign free on a target that won’t flinch away & will be awful back validating them that they aren’t THAT bad because the other is Like That too.

so why did Jet almost kiss Azula in the latest chapter despite this clearly being a horrible idea? why did she act so flirty & practically invite a kiss? why did Katara not get upset about it?

let’s start with Jet. aside from being a slut, Jet has emotional intelligence mostly just when it’s convenient for him & right now it’s not. so. I don’t think he’s considering how much this would hurt Zuko & Jin, instead convincing himself there’s a scenario where it would be fine. I think Jet tends to view things from a selfish lens on a personal level. his politics are about helping people (…kind of. but maybe even more about hating the fire nation) & he views himself as a caretaker for people like Smellerbee & Longshot but he also likes to see what he can get away with at all time. this is totally based on brief canon stuff btw - Jet absolutely sees Katara’s attraction to him & uses it to his advantage so he can make his flood plan happen not caring if the truth would upset Katara even if he does seem to like her & want her approval. what he wants to see happen is more important. if Jet were forced to stop & think & empathize he wouldn’t want to hurt Zuko & Jin like that but the blurred lines within the friend group & Azula’s behavior are a cocktail for disaster already & Jet’s selfish desire to push boundaries has been awakened.

it may sound like I hate jet but it’s actually just that John mulaney meme like “my wife is a bitch & I like her SO much” <3

I will also say - jets tendency to view relationships so coldly even when it’s people he deeply cares about (in his own messy way) is a byproduct of being a kid who raised other kids. he HAD to develop a cynical & hard outlook because he saw his family killed & took on raising his friends - including turning to criminal activity at an extremely young age. that doesn’t happen without warping a person. Jet & Katara’s trauma is actually very similar in the sense of growing up fast but they react in almost opposite ways. more on my girl katara soon!

last thing - there’s a much more subtle note of self destructive tendencies with Jet risking sabotaging his own relationship. like it’s mostly that he’s a selfish jerk but also he’s never had anything good last in his life & he’s at a weird “I didn’t think I would get this far what now?” moment. the boys most stable long term relationships are his besties who he views himself as a caretaker for. Jet doesn’t think he deserves anything good for himself despite his grandiose self aggrandizement suggesting otherwise at all times & he has no idea how to handle a real stable relationship. this insecurity is worsened when he expresses it to Azula & she mocks him & validates that uncertainty. (this is going on long enough so I won’t ramble too much more but. well Jet hating himself beneath the false swagger & having a history of self sabotage hopefully isn’t a huge shock in a story where he wanted to ignore medical treatment after getting hit by a semi & shrank & became uncharacteristically apologetic & meek when Zuko called him out for it…)

ok now let’s talk about Azula. my girl is just as ready to use people like pawns as Jet (she’s actually mostly more self aware about this character trait than him I think though not in this specific instance). but she wouldn’t cheat, right? correct! still - let’s get into a psychoanalysis <3

Azula doesn’t just love Katara. she’s deeply unhealthily infatuated with her. the bestie broke away from her dad & said “who can I treat like a god next?” & didn’t wait for an answer. Azula is fully incapable at this point in the story of being an individual. She has lived her entire life as a tool serving someone else’s whims & she doesn’t know how to stop. her entire self worth hinges on Katara’s approval… & no amount of validation will ever be enough when u have exactly zero self worth. Azula would never dream of being purposefully disloyal to Katara but what she would do is desperately seek validation from other sources because no one, not even Katara in all her desire to take care of people, can give Azula what she’s looking for & it’s left her with a hollow sense of self hate & emptiness that is impossible to fill yet she has no choice but to try.

i typically think Azula is very capable of manipulation EXCEPT romantically or flirtatiously because she has no clue how to flirt but I think with Jet in this scenario it’s different for several reasons. 1. their history 2. their by now extremely tight friendship. the fact that they find each other easy company when they’re not at each other’s throats is the other cornerstone of this dynamic 3. she’s not fully self aware of what she’s doing & if she was she would stop & punish herself, probably harshly.

Azula would deny it vehemently both outwardly & to herself if anyone tried to accuse her of seducing Jet. but the brief high she gets from his validation leads her to continue to act the way she does. Azula NEEDS any form of positive attention she can get because she has nothing without external validation:

onto Katara - why didn’t Katara give a shit that Jet tried to kiss Azula? there are a few reasons. Katara wears her heart on her sleeve & she treats others like they do as well even when there is evidence to the contrary. Katara takes people at their word & gets extremely hurt when she’s wrong. Azula has admitted many times to being closed off emotionally but Katara still continually expects Azula to be more open & honest than she is & gets hurt every time Azula makes herself difficult to read. this is because Katara sees it as her job to be emotionally responsible for the people around her. she grew up practically raising herself & her brother because their father couldn’t be fully present. this was in the aftermath of the extreme trauma of losing Kya - something Katara blames herself for. & she also blames herself anytime someone close to her experiences something negative, especially Azula who she’s designated herself as fully responsible for. hence why it KILLS katara that she cannot always read Azula & in this instance, she’s misreading Azula badly & she doesn’t even know it.

Katara doesn’t realize that the almost kiss is something Azula invited out of insecurity because Azula hasn’t opened up about that (because she’s not even self aware about it herself.) if katara understood that missing context, everything would change. Katara would instantly sympathize & be upset (for a multitude of reasons, certainly jealousy being up there but mostly out of a desire to fix Azula’s broken mental state) & she would try to give even more validation to Azula (an impossible task that would only lead to more hurt & stress for Katara because she’s already giving so much of herself.) But, again, she continually expects Azula to just explain things to her in a therapy speak that Azula is mostly terrible at (although she puts in an impressive effort at times thanks to character development & Katara’s pushing.) So, instead of understanding that this was a moment of deep insecurity for Azula, Katara reads the comment as “Jet was being Jet, he’s such a jerk sometimes but whatever we’re all used to it.”

Katara is right about something with Azula - Azula would never cheat. Now that Katara understands Azula’s extreme worship of her she is deeply disturbed by it & aware that it is not healthy for either of them. So - that’s her main concern. Fixing Azula’s problems & reassuring Azula are Katara’s priorities. There is no insecurity or concerns about Azula having a wandering eye - & there shouldn’t be because that’s not the issue! Katara just should’ve realized this was indicative of bigger issues rather than pushing the whole thing off on Jet being a bit annoying & slutty which is the easy answer - & Katara is desperate for easy answers right now.

a bigger problem for Katara is that she’s run into these problems she can’t fix with Azula - like their disagreement on the future, like Azula’s unhealthy hero worship or Katara - & it’s driving poor Katara insane because what is she good for if not compulsively fixing things?

Katara doesn’t have the emotional energy to stress over a friend trying to kiss Azula when she’s not worried about Azula cheating & their friend group is just kinda Like That anyway. all her energy is being used on looking for simple solutions to complex problems. Katara HATES this fight about the future because she can’t just fix it so she’d much rather deflect. she’s insistent they move on because she doesn’t have an answer so thinking about it is like torture. there’s no time to waste on some dumb almost kiss she NEEDS to focus on what she believes is a solution to this bigger problem- discussing a distraction! (the opposite of a solution. we love delusional girlies)

Katara’s view of herself as Azulas caretaker also means she’s DESPERATE to not fight, something that causes them both negative emotions (not that Katara gives a shit about her own negative emotions, she only views herself as worth anything if people around her are happy so it’s really about shielding Azula not herself). from Katara’s standpoint the almost kiss is a potential reason to fight & when they’re already fighting so much lately of course she’s determined to blow it off. she reacts with completely fake possessiveness only when she realizes that’s what Azula wants. & it’s silly & kinky but also sad because of course she sincerely thinks Azula is hers of course she doesn’t want Azula to be with anyone else but it’s still an act - it’s not about that sincere stuff - it’s about reacting how she thinks Azula wants her to. Azula’s tendency to try & please Katara to unhealthy degrees is more blatant but Katara does the exact same thing when it comes to behaving however she thinks she should to please Azula - to keep her mentally healthy & clean because Katara views that as her responsibility. also don’t assume katara isn’t mad at jet at all, but she knows how possessive azula is of that friendship & wouldn’t want to cause more issues between her & azula by making it a thing. doesn’t mean shes not a bit pissed at Jet.

Azula believes herself functionally useless if she’s not serving at someone’s altar & Katara believes herself functionally useless if she’s not constantly solving every problem & acting as a caregiver for someone- they’re perfect for each other! but also they’ve both taken these tendencies to the extreme in a way that is unsustainable & hurting them both.

so - that’s why the almost kiss played out the way it did & why Katara reacted (or failed to react) the way she did based on my analysis of my own characters.

thank you goodnight xoxo

tldr: Azula & Jet are the worst most selfish people but it’s ok cause they have trauma so they can be awful ✨as a treat ✨ & Katara is losing her goddamn mind but I’m sure a foursome on a pirate ship will fix her

[rubydracogirl]

i hate to be annoying but i just LOVE IT!! the french is still easily understandable and seeing the alouette lullaby gave it a whole new feel to me!! i grew up hearing it, so to see it be used in such a dark setting made me so ODDLY EXCITED?!? it makes ink feel homely! like he's luring me in, and then BOOM EVIL!! i also love the way shattered is portrayed; he's the sweetest threat ive ever seen, as in he reeks of fake niceties!! and your swap is STUNNING!! I HAVE NO WORDS I JUST LOVE IT SOO MUCH AND THANK YOUU IM SORRY FOR SPEAKING SO MUCH BUT JUST AHHH💗💗💗💗💗💘💘

You're not annoying at all! I love talking about my work to anyone who will listen 😅😅😅 so finding your asks in my inbox today was an utter treat! Plus, it was really nice to hear from someone who does speak French!

Im about to ramble even more so ill put the rest below this cut 😂

I feel like Alouette is being slept on in terms of being used in a scary/creepy setting. I remember after finding out that Ink canonically speaks French, I loved the idea of him humming nursery rhymes like Alouette. The darker aspect of that came during a conversation I had with my discord friend S. We were talking about what the Star Sanses would be like if they went bad. We both agreed that Ink would be playfully twisted and unhinged.

I always had the headcanon that if Dream went bad, the nature of his magic wouldn't change. He'd still feed on positive energy, but instead of wholesome feelings, it would be more like fighting an addiction.

I have a very, very soft spot for Swap Sans. I like the idea that he took his training with Alphys very seriously, and that he's an extremely competent fighter. The way I see it, if Ink fights Error, and Dream fights Nightmare, that leaves Nightmare's entire crew for Swap to deal with.

So, that's the story of how I fell in love with the idea of Swap being bloodthirsty and violent in addition to being badass enough to keep three killers at bay. 😅

Lmao, anyways, I hope you don't feel awkward about sending a longer ask! Because I will talk about my headcanons all day long if given the opportunity XD

[memequeme]

thoughts on roy & oliver per my fic bc i just bought and read green arrow #1 and im in my roy feels:

(undercut bc this might be long, some spoilers not anything super plot specific but just in case)

i should probably preface this by saying that i’m not the biggest fan of oliver queen in general, he’s really just not my cup of tea tbh

and i know that he hasn’t been seen in the best light in the first couple of chapters of the fic which is purposeful and not just for plot

overall i think ive been very forgiving of bruce in general (although this is an au where batman doesn exist) and i also dont think i need to explain myself on this account for anyone but i do want to put my thoughts somewhere, and in general i like portrayals that treat bruce like a man who actually wanted to be a father, someone who saw himself in orphaned children and thought he could be of service

my treatment of bruce and his relationship with his children is not for his benefit or to cut him any slack, his characterization and character development is for the benefit of his children, bc that group of kids deserves to have at least one parent that gives a shit and keeps trying even when they do fuck up

and in the same regard, that’s how im choosing to treat oliver, not bc i particularly like him or i want to see him grow as a character, but bc i think roy deserves a father figure that grows with him, that he can learn to forgive, that take steps to earn that forgiveness (i’m ahead of myself here plot-wise, there’s a long way to go but that’s the direction the story is going, spoilers?)

If there’s one thing about addiction and recovery, its that a solid support system can make all the difference. (obviously your support system doesn’t have to be family but i digress) your support system can make you stronger, can give you something to fight for when you dont want to fight for yourself

bc bruce isn’t perfect and neither is oliver, and parents fuck up, some more than others ofc, but as you grow up, you reconcile that however you can and you either learn to live with it or you move forward in other ways

recovery requires a lot of forgiveness, forgiveness toward yourself, toward your own actions and mistakes, but also forgiving those you can for your own peace of mind, bc the causes for addiction are rarely just internal

the essence of this fic is to deal with the aftermath of trauma and addiction and how one cares for their relationships after the fact, the things they choose to hold onto and the things they choose to forgive. To look at yourself as a complete human being, flaws and all, to say I deserve to be loved and I deserve to let people love me, even those who have hurt me in the past, because I have changed and grown and so have they. To look at the people in your life with that same sense of grace, to acknowledge how someone hurt you and say i choose to forgive you because I value our relationship and the good that you do bring to my life despite the mistakes.

Some relationships with parents will never be easy or painless, sometimes they don’t grow or change, they don’t want to. Maybe its not the most realistic but this is fiction and i want to write a story where there are parents who realize their fuck-ups both in the distant past and recently, who decide they want to change and atone. That they want to have a better relationship with their children, that they want to be better.

[annyankers]

i will forever think that angel the series would be more interesting if they allowed angel to not be an obvious hero figure. if they didn’t try to make him the knight on the steed like in judgment or claim his heart is pure like in season 1.

if buffy is a subversion of the tropes in horror and action that make the woman the victim then ats should be deconstructing the man/monster dichotomy and tropes surrounding men in horror and noir. angel should be a much more introspective/thoughtful show and character. both because angel the character is older and has different issues and because it pulls in the mundane grimness of noir in to its world and tone.

angel the character should be personally dealing with issues around abuse and grooming-- both as the abused and the abuser-- or addiction since they talk about treating him in his writing like an alcoholic in s1 and treat his old behavior at times like one, or about being vulnerable, emotionality and toxic masculinity.

things like the angel/angelus split should be used to explore the difference between the angel that he’s trying to become -- a better man who’s more open and honest emotionally, who protects, who loves and is loved-- and the man he was -- a toxic, vile sadist, the very picture of all of man’s worst traits-- and then how little there really is standing between those two men and what that means for angel as a person/character.

he’s a vampire as angel or angelus and that means many of those same instincts exist in him at all times. he’s a monster from day 1 so then what does the difference between angel and angelus really mean? where do you draw the line between a man and a monster? 

part of the reason i use benjamin wadsworth, specifically in his role as marcus in deadly class, as a recast for angel is because i feel the writing around marcus’ character works very well as like, a template for what i feel makes sense for angel the show and the character.

you first meet marcus and he’s homeless, he’s an addict, he has nothing. nothing except a reputation for committing an atrocity that gets him into an assassin school and comical amounts of issues. he’s deeply traumatized by his life, emotionally closed off while also being deeply empathetic and desperate for love and affection and desperate for a purpose in life. there’s whole scenes that are just marcus having heavy introspective voice overs and he continually defends being emotionally vulnerable as a man. he has lines like “sadness is just rage turned inwards”, he thinks about this shit a lot. he hates bullies but he’s also kinda fucking manipulative and shitty at times. over the course of the series he does some fucked up shit and has to deal with it, literally and mentally. i think all of this has some thematic crossover with what would make a compelling story with angel in the lead.

i do also think that having angel look younger makes sense with him starting as the love interest in a teen drama but it also helps to highlight the power imbalance between him and Darla and add to his internal conflict. he’s old enough looking to be seen as an adult, but not visually old enough to be truly respected like one. he has to constantly validate his own worth which is exhausting or rely on his old angelus cred when that’s applicable which is toxic to his struggle to break from that identity.

I don’t necessarily think that it’s like, mandatory though, i just think it adds. to me, the major thing should be deconstructing tropes around men and monsters. let angel be a piece of shit, use more of his irish catholic heritage and really fucking dig in there and into his struggle against the sick urges that make him the monster angelus. let gunn play the role of the classic hero, something black dudes don’t really get to do much. stop doing the weird mystic pregnancy shit and also that billy episode is terrible cut that out. but more to the point of the post just like..... let angel explore his own internal life and don’t be scared of what’s gonna come out of it when you do.

[nightowlfandom]

Vampire! King! Ardyn Izunia!- Sadistic

Hey guys! Let’s kick off October with a bang!!! 

ANON ASKS (HEY FRIEND)

Sooo Ardyn is a guilty pleasure of mine. Feel free to do what you want with these prompts, I won’t judge lol. They are all from the prompt list.

7. You like when I choke you don’t you?

62. What a gorgeous dress…but it’d look better torn to ribbons don’t you think?

70. You know…it’s dangerous being out like this. A pretty little sla- I mean thing like you out here all alone.

Thank you for including the actual prompt in the ask!! I may or may not have made him slightly sadistic. Also I got a rude ask telling me to put a read more break...so on purpose I didn’t add one here. It pays to be polite.

CHECK OUT MY MASTERLIST HERE!!

X RATED PROMPT LIST| NON X RATED PROMPT LIST

Leggo!!

...

The hem of your gown was torn to shreds as you ran through the forest. You were barefoot running through the cold and wet dirt. Your feet were starting to itch from the scratching of small twigs against your skin. You were running away from your parents’ palace. 

You were to be married to someone. Someone you were disgusted by. You had two options. Marry or Be disowned. You chose to escape through your window and jump down. You almost hurt yourself on the way down, but it was worth it. 

You had been running for what felt like hours with the moon on your tail. You finally stopped as soon as your palace was nothing but a silhouette in the distance. 

“Guess I’m homeless now.” you sighed, sitting on a small log. “What am I supposed to do?” you groaned. It was dark and you could barely make out the moon amongst the smog. Lucky for you the wind was slightly picking up allowing you to feel the breeze on your skin.

“What’s this?” a low vibrating tone allowed you to come back to your senses. 

You instantly rose to your feet, turning to meet the face of tall man. He looked as if he was dressed for the middle of the winter time with his heavy trench coat and scarf. 

“A scared little lamb all by herself in such a place. You’re a long way from home aren’t you, young one?”

“Don’t speak down on me as if I’m a child, sir.” you narrowed your eyebrows at the strangers. “I’m far from it.”

“Hm.” he smirked. “My apologies.” he gave a slight bow. “What’s a young soul like you doing out in these parts so late in the night?”

“I don’t believe that is any business of yours, sir.” you took a step back. “Now I’ll be taking my leave now.” your voice wavered as you turned aroundd. But just as you turned to walk away, a man, the same man appeared before you.

“ You know…it’s dangerous being out like this. A pretty little sla- I mean thing like you out here all alone. “ he said with his hand held out. “If I may be so bold, I can escort you out of these parts.” his eyes practically glowed in the dark.

“No thank you.” you stepped back. “I know my way very well, thank you.”

Just as you turned around again, he appeared in front of you once more.

“Darling little girl-”

“Don’t call me a little girl!” you seethed.

“Hm, touchy are we. Young one doesn’t like being called a pathetic...little...girl.” he towered over you. “And don’t even think about grabbing the dagger I know is strapped to your thigh...you won’t get to use it.”

“What are you?” your voice slightly wavered.

“Ardyn Izunia...is what I am.”

Ardyn, where have you heard that name. The man seemed to laugh as the look of realization crossed your face. King Ardyn? The ‘Father’ of all vampires. He cackled at your fear struck expression. Your father had told you stories of his evil. 

“Ah the young princess Y/N knows of me?”

“How did you-”

“Know your name, love? Everyone knows of the, most beautiful, kindest and giving of her time. You should know better, how forgetful we are.” he raised an eyebrow.

“You stay away from me.” you warned. 

“Hm are you’re guards going to come and kill me, love?”

“I have no guards...not anymore.” you found yourself saying. You had your hand on your thigh under the slit of your dress. You wrapped your hand around your dagger. “Leave me...now.”

“Hm...anymore? Why? Was the little princess disowned?” he laughed. “Did their royal highnesses finally get rid of their problem child?”

You suddenly felt small and inadequate. “That’s none of your business.”

“Oh yes you have.” he took a step towards you. “You’re all alone, with no one?” he cooed. “Which means there’s no one to hear you scream.”

“Hear me sc-”

You were tackled to the floor, your weapon flying out of your hand. Ardyn bared his fangs towards you...” You like when I choke you don’t you? “ he cackled as he tightened his hands around your throat. You felt dizzy, very...fucking..dizzy.

”I must admit, darling girl...you look so delectable. It’s a shame I must kill you...but a vampire must drink.” he moved his hands from your neck allowing you to inhale sharply.

With his arm wrapped around your wrist and bought your shaky arm to his mouth. You were too frozen to even try and move. Adryn inhaled your scent, smiling sadistically down at you. 

You held in your pain as he sunk his needle like fangs into your skin. You wouldn’t scream or cry.

“...So...divine.” the man shuddered. “S-so...addicting.” Was that normal? 

You had no idea why, but feeling this. It was supposed to be painful, it was supposed to be what happened before you died a terrible death. So why were you seeing images...images you shouldn’t have seen.

...

“You look so beautiful in the sun, my darling.” the man beside you caressed your face as you both laid in the gardens. “You are the most beautiful of my fledglings.”

“I’d just better be the only one you treat like this.”

“Trust me darling, there are other people who will sire for me...my fangs will only ever touch your skin...when I’m not feeding or killing.” he smirked. “Come, it’s been a busy day. Lay your head on my chest...rest with me.”

You laid on his chest, the sun casting a glare over your naked bodies. “Can I ask you a question, Ardyn? Is this whole laying naked in the sun a regular thing?”

“Clothes are for humans with no free time...Now hush my dear...rest.”

...

and everything else went black.

...

You awoke on a plush surface. It was soft and velvety. A large, black comforter was covering your body. 

“Oh fuck, am I dead?” was your first thought. You swung your legs around the bed and planted your feet on the floor. Why were you so cold. You walked over to a vanity, standing in front of a mirror. Your arm was bandaged up. “No...I’m not dead.”

“You’re finally awake.”

You whipped around. Ardyn was sitting in an armchair wearing only a silk bathrobe. “I was beginning to think you’d never wake up.”

“W-what? What did you do to me?”

“I didn’t kill you, I know that much.” he rose from his seat.

“What?...Where am I??”

“My home...well. Our home now.” he walked towards you. “I know what you’re thinking-”

“You saw it too didn’t you?” you cut him off. “I know you know what it means...so tell me.”

“I’m not sure...all I know is that I couldn’t kill you. Before I knew it, I bit my own hand and made you take my own blood...I’ve never done that when changing someone.”

“Changing?!” you widened your eyes. “You...you PEICE OF!” you raised your fist when you realized just how clearly you could make out every crevice and divot on your hand and nails. “N-no this isn’t real!”

“Oh it is, my sweet.” he tiptoes his fingers up arm. You took a small step back, staring down at yourself. 

“ What a gorgeous dress…but it’d look better torn to ribbons don’t you think? “ he grabbed your hands in his. “Stop resisting and accept your new fate.”

“I feel strange.” you expressed honestly. “Is it supposed to feel like this?” you stared up at him.

He tilted your head up, staring at your innocence. 

“It can feel even better. Vampires are godly lovers...very few have laid with me...if you agree, you can be mine.”

(HAVE ANY MONBSTER REQUESTS? LET ME KNOW!!! IM TRYNA POST AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE THIS MONTH!!)

[soft-angelic-kiss]

We’re all  a little bit crazy (5)

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therapsit! Izuku x Patient! Bakugou x Patient! Todoroki x Patient! Shinsou x Patient! Reader

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Chapter 5 trigger warnings- Y/N gets into a small fight, mentions of taking pills, the use of the word psycho and mentions of suicide// lemme know if i missed anything

if that makes you uncomfy don’t read!

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chapter one here    

 chapter two here  

chapter three here 

chapter four here

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He woke up again on a plush bed after sleeping comfortably, his cheek slightly bruised and a dull pain running through it, he placed his hand on it and nothing felt swollen which was a very good sign. He let out a sigh and moved up to his elbows so he could look around. 

It was different from all the other rooms he’d been in, It had more color, drawings all the walls.. Comfort stuffed animals they sometimes give you at the hospital even bigger stuffed animals.. The room was comfortable.. 

He finally looked next to him and on the floor was Y/N, who was listening to music occasionally flinching from the headphones as she colored in a little book. He didn’t wanna disrupt the girl, so he sat up and carefully grabbed his clipboard looking for her file… 

 F I L E   4

(Patient Name) Y/N Yagi  (Patient #437)

 (Date admitted) 8-3-2009

 (Patient age) 19

 (Patient disorder)  Anxiety, Severe Depression, Sensory Overloading issues, and short temper, but never escalates, ADHD, PTSD, Anorexia, self harm and suicidal thoughts

(History/cause)  When she was 4 her family home went up in flames causing the death of her father (Okorashi) and older brother (Ekai) Which gave her an extreme fear of explosions and loud noises. From the ages of 4-7 her mother became an addict and an alcoholic. She took up abusive habits that left a few horrific scars on her body. When she was 7 her mother finally passed from an overdose that caused her uncle to have to take her in, He’s a kind man and treats her kindly, He sent them here in hopes of making her better, and more ready to come home. He visits often.

(Has patient...)

-attempted suicide?

-attempted homicide?

-attempted any act of self-harm?

-attempted violence on past employees?

-attempted escape?

 (Other). If she gets sensory overwhelmed she tends to scream, hot, kick and cry. They find comfort in the other patients, Bakugou, Todoroki, Shinsou and the boys downstairs. She tends to stick her nails into the skin of whoever grabs her, she needs to be sedated if she has a breakdown. 

(Danger level) 9/10

Izuku raised an eyebrow, the description of the person sitting down in front of him.He felt like it didn’t match her at all. He decided to take a gentle approach to greeting Y/N to make sure she didn’t have an “episode” as the paper put it. 

He gently swung his feet over the side and crouched down hoping to get into her sightline. He crawled to sit in front of her placing his hands on the floor in front of her coloring book. 

Y/N looked up, slightly startled but then took her headphones off, the change causing her head to spasm backwards before resuming her normal position. “Hi!” They smiled, placing her hands on the coloring book in front of Izuku’s. “Hi, Y/N right?” He spoke calmly, not wanting to put off the human infront of him. “Yeah! And you are...Izuku? Midoryia?” She tilted her head curiously and smiled, pumping a fist into the air when Midoryia nodded a smile being brought to his own lips. He was absolutely hooked by Y/N. Their backstory, their personality, they were such an interesting person and he couldn’t wait to learn more. 

“Yeah. You got it right, good job.” he chuckled when her cheeks turned pink with embarrassment from his praise. Izuku chuckled again and leaned forward slightly and watched as Y/N leaned back. 

Izuku shook his hands carefully and leaned back “Is this more comfortable?” Y/N nodded and smiled softly leaning forward again to resume coloring. Izuku smiled and decided to just watch her for a few moments.

The two hung out not moving position for at least half an hour, until Y/N looked towards the door and started cowering when the door opened and the men in white stood there with a medical tray full of many medical instruments he'd never seen before. 

Y/N jumped to their feet and tried to hide behind Izuku as one of them said “Y/N, Please I don’t want to have to repeat what happened yesterday.” He went to reach for her but she smacked his hand and continued standing behind Midoryia who was eyeing the men with a suspicious look. 

The blonde one who had spoke already finally went to grab them only to have his hands smacked away, but instead of a hand, he felt a clipboard against his wrist as he cried out “what THE-” the man went to hit Izuku but the greenette had blocked his second hit as well 

“She’s scared. I’m going to have to ask you to leave because you are not helping.” Izuku’s tone held dominance and authority as the man scoffed “Oh really?-” His words were cut short as Y/N lept towards him and started hitting him. 

she had gotten a few punches in before Izuku had interfered and pulled her back and away from him holding them, they cling to him. “She’s just psycho-” he started again but was cut off by Midoryia straight up shoving him out of the door 

Midoryia had shut the door and looked at the medical supplies and then at Y/N who was back on their bed. Midoryia hummed softly looking at them with a soft but concerned gazed “Are you alright?” They nodded timidly “U-um.. yeah, i think..” 

They kept eyeing the cart and rubbing their arms. Izuku was angry beyond belief but kept his cool for Y/N. “Do you know what these are?” he asked as he walked over to the cart. Y/N nodded “Those are what the use to sedate me and give me my medications..” Izuku nodded and looked at the cart, it had 4 different pills, a tiny box of apple juice and a needle filled with a liquid. He picked up the needle and watched Y/N flinch back 

Izuku shook his head “No, no.. i’m gonna dispose of it, not use it okay?” He went and wrapped it up throwing it in the hazard trash can in the bathroom coming back out looking at the cart. 

“Okay, do you have an order you need to take them in or can you just take them one at a time?” 

Y/N looked confused as they stood up walking to Izuku and the cart “I c-can just take them.. why are you helping? aren’t you supposed to..” 

Izuku shook his head “So far all of you have said that… No, i’m not supposed to be mean, i’m supposed to help you get better so can you take..” he handed Y/N two of the four pills and handed her the apple juice “these and then the other ones?” he smiled

Y/N nodded and took the two and then waited 30 seconds before taking the other two. Izuku nodded and smiled “Thank you.. Now I believe” He stopped and checked his watch “It’s almost dinner time, If you want you can go head down to the cafeteria?” He smiled at her

Y/N thought for a moment “Will you come eat with me?” She tapped her foot on the ground and looked away as Izuku chuckled

 “It’s not my dinner break,” Y/N had frowned and got ready to ask again.

“but I’ll still come sit with you?” Izuku smiled when Y/N’s face lit up 

Y/N gave a big smile and nodded “Okay!” they had opened the door and ran out with an excited yell of “KATSU! TODO! SHIN!” as she catapulted herself into the boys arms as they hugged her back. 

“Why don’t you go to the cafeteria and We’ll be right behind you okay?” Shinsou spoke caring and calmly and all three boys had a quirk of a smile as she smiled and ran off down the halls “GOT IT!” you could hear their laughter as they went down the stairs with a much kinder doctor.

As Izuku walked out of the door locking it behind him he was quickly met with the three faces he’s seen previously looking at him with glares. He gulped before speaking in a meek voice “Y-yes?” Bakugou raised an eyebrow and scoffed before nodding at him “Not a bad idiot.” and the other two nodding in agreement before the bell above them rang for dinner.

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tag list~  @buckyneedsplums @lazywriterfullofideas09 @notchittatenn @physco-101

for some reason it might not let me tag you also if I forgot you just lemme know!

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a/n: I’m so sorry for getting this out so late! I’ve been very busy recently and I’ve been preparing for BIG things in my personal life so chapters may be extremely short or non existent. I also didn’t plan to have so many supporters for this series so i didn’t really have a clue what to do with the story. I still don’t. I have one more chapter ready in my head but after that I’m not sure where this series will go. Anyways, as usual I hope you enjoyed and please feel free to reblog, like or say something in my inbox! I’m open to writing one shots if you guys are interested, I was thinking about writing one shots instead of continuing with actual chapters after chapter 6 

[bucky-at-bedtime]

Stucky Fic Recs

So basically I went through all of my ao3 bookmarks and collated a list of some of my favourites (I couldn't fit all of them on this list, so if anyone shows interest there might be a part two).

Please read tags and descriptions of the works before reading, some of them are pretty dark or extremely horny so just make sure you check that the fic is for you!!

Please please please send me your favourite fics in return! I am always happy to hear fic recs, headcanons and any other ideas/comments you all have!

Without any further ado, here are a few of my favourite Stucky fics:

‘Not Easily Conquered’ series by dropdeaddream, WhatAreFear

Rating: M, Words: 117,692

https://archiveofourown.org/series/115516

“I told you, you heard me: I told you never to follow me into Hell. Now I’m not vain enough to think that’s why you’re out here now — if there’s any person in what’s left of this God forsaken planet who’s part of a bigger picture, it’d be you. But I’ll keep saying it until it sticks. You got nothing to prove. I’m not worth much, I damn well know that, but I’ll ask you anyway: Stay for me. If you leave me alone in this world I’ll turn into something terrible. I’ll turn into the nasty creature that’s growing inside me. This war, it’ll swallow me whole”

[To me, this fic is like the classic Stucky 101 fanfic – if you're a Stucky fan and you haven't read this, I highly recommend it. The authors explore the Steve/Bucky relationship in such an interesting, tragic, emotive way and I cry every time I read it. I couldn't praise this work enough.]

‘Ain’t No Grave’ series by spitandvinegar

Rating: M-E, Words: 131,789

https://archiveofourown.org/series/426577

"Yeah, he never calls me by my name," Steve says. "It's always champ, ace, hotshot, that kinda thing."

"Man, that is flirting," Sam says. "That nicknames thing, he is flirting with you. He's just working his way up to calling you baby or something."

Steve goes redder than a damn coke can. Sam pumps his fist. "Yes, I am so right, I am wise as hell. He did, didn't he?"

"He called me sweetheart," Steve says grimly, "because he's a drug addict with brain damage."

"Or because he looooooves you," Sam says. Captain America throws a cookie at his head. Sam eats it, because he deserves a treat for being so damn wise.”

[I'm currently re-reading this fic and absolutely loving it. The way spitandvinegar writes Bucky's road towards recovery and Steve's entire characterisation – it's all just so good. It's another one that covers some pretty dark themes, so make sure you're checkin those tags!]

'Einherjar' by thecommodore_squid

Rating: M, Words: 71297

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7157024/chapters/16249814

But Steve was fine.

Sure, he hadn’t seen Bucky in months, and sometimes he was at the punching bag so long that his skin started to peel off to expose the bones of his fingers, and sometimes he couldn’t find the energy to drag himself out of bed, and sometimes he went weeks without sleeping, and sometimes he thought about throwing himself head-first off the nearest tall structure, but he was fine.

He was absolutely, perfectly, one-hundred percent, fucking fine.

AKA In which Steve learns how to deal with his shit, and Bucky learns how to stop leaving.

[basically the definition of a recovery fic, I absolutely adore it. This is tragic and amazing and makes me cry and smile. It’s got a bunch of fantastic cameos and It really just ticks so many of my boxes.]

‘Like real People do’ by 2bestfriends

Rating: E, Words: 67,775

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19887376/chapters/47103217

“"Ask me what?" demands Bucky. "I didn't hear a question."

Steve licks his lips. "Will you stay with me? Will you come back home, Buck?"

"Home," repeats Bucky in a small voice, and then he's crying for real.”

[Basically soft lumberjack!steve and lonely twink!bucky being horny and in love. This is a comfort fic for that’s really just about my favourite boys falling in love.]

‘This City Bleeds it’s Aching Heart’ by anonymous

Rating: E, Words: 34,537

https://archiveofourown.org/works/835829/chapters/1591736

“The one where Steve and Bucky pose as a happily married couple while on a mission for SHIELD, to catch an international arms dealer hiding in a suburban neighbourhood.”

[The plot in this one is just a good time and i think it’s just a really fun take on the fake relationship trope. Also some really great characterisation.]

‘Home is Wherever I’m With You’ by cydonic

Rating: E, Words: 88,570

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18868081/chapters/44783077

“Bucky kisses Steve and Emma goodbye before they leave for school, which is why – partway down the road – Amelia turns to him and asks, “why are you and Daddy kissing?”

Which is definitely a conversation Bucky’s been expecting since Steve just did it, but it still takes him by surprise. Again, he thinks he should wait for Steve, but Amelia’s not the sort of kid to let anything rest. Plus, Bucky’s taking her to school where she will undoubtedly share the story with anyone who’ll listen.

He also stops to think that Steve’s asked him to stay, which means Bucky must be trusted with their happiness and well-being, at least in some small capacity.

Bucky clears his throat and searches for some explanation that will help Amelia make sense of this sudden turn of events. “Because we love each other,” is all he comes up with.”

[Bear with me, this is a House Flipper!Bucky Au. And dad!Steve. I just love a found family trope I’m not gonna lie to you. Another comfort fic that warms my lil heart.]

‘Lucky Seven’ by BetteNoire (WeAreWolves)

Rating: E, Words: 94,364

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7033105/chapters/16002481

“Back from where--?” James says, the sentence ending in a distinctly undignified squawk as Steve sweeps him up in his arms, bridal-style, and starts carrying him upstairs.

James tenses momentarily then relaxes into Steve's arms and throws back his head and starts laughing. The laughter peals out of him, his body shaking, his amusement occasionally broken by little gasps of pain.

“What's so funny?” Steve frowns.

“You are,” James says, still giggling. “You're ridiculous, Steve Rogers.”

“Behave. Or I will drop you,” Steve growls.

[The shrunkyclunks modern AU of my dreams featuring Mechanic!Bucky and cap!Steve and some really beautiful writing.]

'Dishonor On Your Cow' by mandarou

Rating: E, Words: 111695

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10659162/chapters/23589582

“Sergeant Barnes?”

“Oh, hell no, don’t call him that, man,” Sam warned.

“Captain Fuck Off!” Barnes shouted over him. “Fight me!”

Steve didn’t know whether to laugh or just slink away. He managed to combine the two by pacing two steps and snorting instead. Like a bull.

“I’m gonna need you to calm your ass, Barnes,” Sam said as he went limp again, obstructing Barnes’s struggling under him. “This is so undignified. That is Captain goddamn America.”

“Captain goddamn America!” Barnes repeated, louder. And angrier.

Steve cleared his throat again. “I’ve been looking for you,” he told Barnes.

“I hope you brought lube this time!” Barnes shouted.

[I’m not gonna lie it took me a minute to get into this one but by the end I was crying with them, laughing with them, and just really in my feels. Some very insane things happen so here’s a few of my favourite tags: ‘Seargent Barnes is done with your Shit Steve’, ‘blatant disrespect of a man’s motorcycle’, ‘Steve you ding dong’ and ‘PR nightmares in the form of Supersoldiers’.]

Propietary Information by Notlucy

Rating: E, Words: 85141

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11964402/chapters/27054777

“Okay, so Bucky Barnes has a crush on Steve Rogers. The guy's gorgeous, talented and, oh yeah, the Chief Design Officer of the biggest tech company in the world. In other words: he's so far out of Bucky's league that he might as well be in a different stratosphere.”

[We were never gonna get through this list without a Sugar Daddy!AU (I have a weakness). This one is… saucy and sexy and sweet and uh pretty kinky so read the tags and all. I’ve read it a few times, and I love the way the author has written Steve in this one, he just makes my heart go '!!!']

‘Roots Have Grown’ by AustinB

Rating: M, Words: 17280

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6912451/chapters/15767941

“Bucky is a mildly agoraphobic veteran with funds to spare, who becomes enamored with the cute blonde guy in his building.

So when Steve mentions needing a roommate to cut down on rent costs, Bucky decides it would be a good idea to volunteer.”

[Another weakness of mine is Roommate AUs, and this one is phenomenal. I tend to go for post serum!Steve stories more often, but this is a pre-serum Steve that I just adore.]

‘The Cold Never Bothered me Anyway’ by icoulddothisallday

Rating: E, Words:75562

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11728869/chapters/26425530

“Bucky Barnes has spent his whole life in a state of mild hypothermia. Steve Rogers has spent the last 70 years in the ice. The two things aren’t related until, suddenly, they are. Shrunkyclunks soulmate AU (AKA the awkward bb au).”

[I think this is the only soulmate AU in my bookmarks? I would totally be down to read more though! This one is really fun and really enjoy Bucky’s characterisation here!]

'War, Children' by Nonymos

Rating: E, Words: 106615

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5373050/chapters/12409394

“After Bucky was released from the hospital, it only took him a couple of weeks to give up on himself. Difficult to believe in any kind of future when the simple act of staying alive was almost too big an effort.

Out the frosted window, across the street, there was a tiny homeless guy burrowing under an awning.”

[An interesting exploration of Bucky’s PTSD with a trans!Steve which was a cool take on his character too!]

'The Company You Keep' by orbingarrow

Rating: G, Words: 51191

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3468605/chapters/7613072

“Hurt, hungry, and on the run, the Winter Soldier doesn’t have a lot of safe options to go to for help. Figuring that any friend of Captain Steve Rogers is unlikely to be HYDRA, Bucky takes a chance and reaches out to the first Avenger he can find.

It works out better than anyone could have expected. Eventually.”

[hurt/comfort, recovering Bucky, protective Steve, found family and domestic avengers, need I say more? I absolutely loved this one]

[ravysu]

Sannin headcanons and thoughts

The last thing I would like to post for the sannin week. It is still 24.04 here! :D @sannin-central

This is long. Spoiler alert. Mostly Orochimaru, some Tsunade, a little of Jiraiya (because his story is pretty clear and spoken and idk what I can add). Also I recommend to read this meta about Orochimaru, it has influenced me a lot and has some good points. Sorry for any posible grammar mistakes. Also I really should put here a lot of references to the manga or anime but it was something that was piling up for a year and I'm soooooooo lazy. After all, those are just headcanons. Also: Im not excusing Oro's bad stuff here, Im trying to understand the reasons.

Ive already posted some hcs, here, here and here.

1. First if all, the chronology pic of sannin lifetime based on the info i found on naruto wiki and also some statements about wars from this post. It was tough considering what a mess naruto’s chronology is.

2. Sannin story shows what it cost to be a legend. They're like Team 7 but more realistic. Tsunade literally carried the war but left with nothing and developed a ptsd and have problems to just live on. Also anger control issues. I think she can be pretty bossy and stubborn which is not always nice. Jiraiya is the hero of the day but also very idealistic and can ignore some important details in the real word whether its the fight (he always injured during flashbacks maybe because each time he took too much to handle and on the one hand it's heroistic but on the other is a mistake that can lead your team to situations like in that Iwa cave) or your friends issues (I bet he saw what's going on but thought it's fine until Oro actually got red handed and left). He lives in his world and may have problems to get out to see it through someone else's shoes. As for Orochimaru, it seems like he was a normal guy for 20+ years (I mean, he didn't do crazy criminal shit and had something good in him and it was stated somewhere that it was his teammates influence. It is obvious they considered him as a friend, I don't thinks it was for nothing) but we mostly know his darkest side. Despite being a moster he is a human that have empathy and some ordinary human traits (man just decorates every bit of an environment he is in lol).

3. Tsunade was the leader of team Hiruzen.

4. Tsunade sometimes hit Jiraiya for some stupid things he did or said but never touches Orochimaru even if he did something same. Jiraiya complained about it once and almost got another hit.

5. Jiraiya had problematic parents that didn't care about him much and a lot of time he was wandering in the streets.

6. Judging by the look of Oro bangs and hair, he sometimes cut it off. A stress relief huh? And the fact that he doesn't do it now in Boruto..

7. It was shown that Tsunade and Orochimaru was acknowledged before they become a team. Maybe they did just before, or maybe some longer time before. I prefer the second option and hc that they met because both had no real friends - Orochimaru seemed weird and scary for everyone and Tsunade was Senju so everyone wanted to hang out with her but didn't really care. They weren't seen as what they were - people put the labels on them. But they didn't care about each other's labels and actually saw each other in true lights.

8. Tsunade knew it was an accident and it's not right but still she blamed Orochimaru for Nawaki's death for some time. It was something that seriously damaged their friendship and the team. Orochimaru was mad but also guilty, after all, he was responsible at least as a shinobi since Nawaki was under his watch. So he started to act cold and emotionless and was trying to distance himself from his teammates.

9. Jiraiya was in Ame while Dan died.

10. The whole his orphans mission was a bit irresponsible tbh. They already fought Hanzo and as he stated the conflict between Konoha and Ame is going to an end with Konoha's win. It's weird to stay here for three years in the middle of the war while there were other lands to fight. He left his teammates for some idea. Maybe that caused another crack in their team friendship.

11. If Tsunade would have find a way to live on with her trauma and follow the will of fire and stuff it would affect Orochimaru as well just as her grief affected him. It's like he would get an example that you can live on with this pain. So death isn't above human capability and we are not just the slaves of mortality (sounds stupid but i dont know how else to describe sorry). But as we know what he actually saw is that it broke her crucially to the point she couldnt be herself again. And so the death is above everything.

12. Oro wasn’t just acting as a cold pragmatic bitch in that cave but also tried to save Tsunade. Jiraiya knew it and that’s why he showed this sign to him like "I see what youre doing here" and that stunned Oro because he would prefer to look rather like a cold pragmatic bitch hehe

13. Just a thought. People in the village probably treated Oro as a foreigner or just wouldnt accept him because he looked so differently and had a weird attitude. That's why he sometimes didn't feel that Konoha is his home. After the wars where people were treated as means and tools, even the children, he himself developed this view on people - he dehumanized them and used as the means to his goals, just as his village did. Funny thing some people were straightly dehumanizing him too like Ibiki thought that he was a demon (tho he was a child). And he probably weren't the only one. Anyways the point is that it's logical that Orochimaru don't care about anybody but some few people, he's the product of his era. He's like Naruto that would chose the hatred way. But naruto had some good and understanding people around him and.. Orochimaru had them too, but match how Iruka treated Naruto and this Hiruzen's "I sAw tHe mAliCe in This cHiLd fRoM tHe BegGinNinG". And oro didn't even have a big ass evil fox in him. sry i hate hiruzen

ANYWAYS the moral of the story is not "go criminal if they hurt you" but always treat people like people. Waving my hand to Kant.

14. The reason why Orochimaru didn't pick some good morals to stick with through the hard times no matter what (like, idk, Jiraiya or Naruto) is because 1) I think he is/was pretty depending on people around him 2) the war fucked him and his friends up too much (Nawaki incident + Tsunade) 3) twisted addictions (though I don't think he's that sadistic, we never saw him torturing randoms just for fun, it was always some science experimental shit. He tends to get fun out of cruelty only when it's personal) that maybe developed as a way to sublimate anger and sadness caused by his parents loss (that's what they share with sasuke - unlicke naruto, they knew their parents and it's other kind of pain. Sasuke developed a revenge issue and Orochimaru - cruelty pleasure which... is kinda the same but less epic and more occasional lol).

15. Speaking of that, Orochimaru cared for Sasuke because he saw himself in him.

16. Oro hold grudges against Hiruzen for not choosing him to be Hokage not only because he was ambitious and/or egoistic, but also because Hiruzen was some kind of a father figure for him and his approval was important tho i doubt he was aware of that. He also probably could tell that Hiruzen was suspicios about him when he was a child and that led to many conflicts and was hurting as well.

17. Tsunade knew things weren't pretty with Orochimaru after the wars but she never expected them to be this bad. During the week that she was given in her arc she thought not only about how much she wants to see Nawaki and Dan again despite how wrong would it be but also was trying to bury all the good memories she had left of Orochimaru so it would be easier to kill him.

18. She poisoned Jiraiya exactly because she knew he would not let her do it. Jiraiya was always hesitant to kill and inclined to forgiveness, while Tsunade, as mentioned by Orochimaru, could be merciless (so much so that he was not surprised when Kabuto suggested that she wanted to use Jira for Edo Tensei).

19. That was one of her traits that scared Jiraiya and fascinated Orochimaru.

20. Remember how Oro grabbed Jiraiya's neck when the latter was trying to cover with hair jutsu? On the snake, in Tsnade's arc. Orochimaru could have easily kill Jiraiya by pulling the sword out of the mouth (arteries are right there) but he didn't. As well as he could kill Tsunade when she was still shaking - just aim for the neck or the heart. Instead, he just injured her lung and kicked her which is not a big deal for the kind of shinoby like her at all.. Also he helped Anko not accidentally kill herself but it would be way much profitable to let her do it. "Orochimaru has no feelings".

21. The reason he suddenly wanted to kill Tsunade instead of forcing her to heal his arms as it was planned (which is weird since it will not going to get him heals and he kinda said that he wouldn't want to kill her just minutes ago) is that not only she refused to help him (he thought he could work it out) but she also prefered the village over him (from his point of view). Out if everyone she was the closest to being able to understand him since the village caused her painful losses too but nevertheless she agreed to be on it's side.

22. He wasn't fighting her back in the end partly because he thought he deserved that. Somewhere deep inside hahah.

23. Tsunade got a fear to develop deep bonds so they probably weren't very close with Shizune (also the way she knocked her down in this hotel.. oh).

24. Orochimaru will be here when she'll die.

25. Orochimaru's eng dub to Tsunade: "I often wondered what it would be like to ring that pretty neck yours". No comments.

26. Orochimaru is either bi/pan or ace. Anything or nothing lmao

27. Hiruzen knew about at least some of the Oro’s illegal experiments and was okay just as he was okay with the Foundation all the time. Because it’s useful. Then he has discovered he went too far OR he knew everything and oro just became too inconvenient because of his methods. The way Orochimaru tells Sasuke about reasons they are well treated as the criminals is based on in his experience with Hiruzen.

28. As you may know the lyrics in Orochimaru’s music theme goes “don’t talk with the silence of the heart”. It was taken from one Indian song that also had lines like “don’t question life too much”, ”pain arose somewhere in the chest”, “don’t speak to the wounds of the heart”. Though I’m not sure 100% because I was translating it with some hindi dictionary with like zero knowledge of hindi

29. I like to think that this “silence of the heart” theme and the fact that he called his village a hidden sound village are somehow connected. The hidden sound is the possible explanation of all things waiting to be listened to but the truth is silent and you know it deep in your heart and it bothers you. The world is silent just like the life is meaningless but people can only hear. *Sigh* anyways

30. Orochimaru’s journey is the one about accepting death. When he saw Karin released her chains while was trying to get to Sasuke he understood that the death is a part of human’s strength.

Can’t wait to feel that everything I wrote is wrong or not enough or stupid and obvious lol. Anyways, it’s something that I wanted to share until I move to some other fandom.

[luv-leni]

Vampire!Cravity with a human s/o

Authors Note: Hey guys so listen the inspiration for this one hit me like a semi-truck. Which means this one is long(especially minhee’s) I mean like 2k words long. I’m very sorry 😭 please let me know if having this all be one reaction kills your eyes and I’ll edit it and split it into two separate posts.

Warnings: blood, dark themes, suggestive in minhee’s part if u squint, violence, death, and overall angst. There is fluff in here too I promise. This is all fiction!

Enjoy!!

Reaction under the cut.

Serim

A gentleman but a gentleman in a high position

He probably works for a big company

He wasn’t turned too long ago so his age isn’t a problem

He has literally no clue what he’s gonna do when his age does become a problem

Anyway this businessman is very friendly

He is charming and acts like he’s got nothing to hide

U meet him outside of his workplace maybe in a coffee shop

He’s dressed to the nines and super cute so u can’t help but stare at him

Of course he notices so he offers to pay for your drink

Correction he insists on paying for ur drink

This sparks a conversation, mainly about why he’s out in public in a three-piece suit

He talks about his work and meetings and stuff u aren’t really interested in

Before u can completely lose interest tho, his eyes capture ur attention

They almost look like they’re glowing

U interrupt him to ask about his eyes and he shifts uncomfortably and brushes it off

U being perceptive notice that maybe this well put together businessman isn’t all that he seems

He on the other hand thinks u are amazing for a human and he is attracted to u very quickly

look at you heart-stealer 😉

U two start dating for completely different reasons, u want to see the skeletons in his closet and he is falling helplessly in love with u

While snooping through his personality and life u find urself starting to fall for him too

Soon his secret won’t even matter to u

Serim is very good at keeping his secret so u aren’t going to find out unless he wants u to

So whether u find out about it or not is up to him

But he is a great boyfriend so u can’t complain

Allen

Ancient vamp

Allen would be the vampire who’s been around for like 400 years

When u meet he’s reluctant to be friendly with u

He’s old enough to have seen all the people he loves leave him

So he doesn’t want to get hurt :(

It would take some persistence from u but he’d eventually warm up to you

You’d fall in love with him and all his cool vampire features

His cold skin and glowing eyes

And he falls for u hard

He’s soft to u through the whole relationship because he doesn’t want u to think he’s dangerous

Even though out of all the boys Allen might be one of the more dangerous vampires

One thing is for sure he will protect u fiercely from anyone or anything

Jungmo

Jungmo lives as if he was still human

He’s been alive(well as alive as a vampire can get) for long enough to know what he’s doing but not long enough to lose his innocence

He still loves human activities

He exercises even though he doesn't need it and eats the foods he loves even though he doesn't need to eat

He goes to the park and plays with dogs

He meets u while playing fetch with a German shepherd

U just think he’s a normal guy who is very active

When u find out he’s a vampire u don’t really believe him

And then u see his fangs

He suddenly becomes much more intimidating

He does his best to reassure u he’s still the same guy u fell in love with he just drinks blood sometimes

now u get why he volunteers at the blood bank so much

Woobin

Sweet boy

Ruby blends into society very well as a vampire

He hangs out at coffee shops and bookstores he probably even works at one

U meet him there and he is an amazing gentleman

He doesn’t want u to know he’s a vampire because u are so cute and sweet and doesn’t want to scare u

he also doesn't want to confront the fact that he is going to live forever and u won't :(

But then u find bags of blood in his freezer

When u confront him about it he is so gentle and sweet that u really aren’t that freaked out

And he shows u his cool vamp powers and promises to never hurt u

A better love story than twilight

Wonjin

Flirt flirt flirt

He thinks if he’s gonna live forever he is gonna make it worth it

So he flirts with anybody and everybody

But when he meets u

He notices that u make him feel different than everybody else

Ur different, special

U make his undead heart race and he becomes addicted to u

He still flirts with u but he does it differently

He means everything he says about u

When u agree to date him he feels alive for the first time in a while

When u find out he’s a vamp the world gets 10x more exciting

U get a boyfriend who’s basically invincible and has cool powers

Jinnie is so relieved that u aren’t scared he wraps u in a big hug and picks u up with his vampire strength

A super exciting relationship with a very exciting boy

Minhee

Ooh mysterious~

Minhee is barely noticeable in everyday life

He rarely goes out during the day and works somewhere private so he doesn’t have to meet many people

When he does go out he blends into the shadows and is so sneaky that he could get away with almost anything if he wanted to

It’s lonely but he prefers it that way

He wouldn’t talk to u unless he absolutely had to

So maybe he works in a private office and u get hired as his assistant

He doesn’t want an assistant but being a big strong vampire doesn’t mean he can do everything by himself

Ur first day u notice how closed off and dark he is

But u are determined to be his friend

As time goes on minhee becomes intrigued by how determined u are (bonus points if ur good at being his assistant)

All the tension that has been building between u two comes to a head when u confront him in his office and ask him why he’s so cold to everyone

He gets this intimidating look in his eyes and says “people aren’t worth my time anymore” or something dramatic like that

You get upset because like?? Ur obviously worth his time 🙄

So to prove it u kiss him

He’s surprised but he wants it as much as u do so he doesn’t push u away

He thinks that maybe just maybe ur the one human he can let his guard down for

Then u guys make out on his desk

Hyeongjun

I think being a vampire would dull hyeongjun a bit

He used to be this cheerful happy boy but living forever can really take a toll

So he’s a little shyer and a little quieter as he moves through daily life

He never stays in one place too long because he doesn’t want anyone to suspect him

So he doesn’t have friends or partners for very long

Then he meets u

Ur kind and friendly and u remind him of who he used to be

So he immediately becomes ur friend

Something about u is different compared to the people he usually meets it’s like he’s drawn to u

Hyeongjun comes to trust u very quickly and ends up telling u his secret himself

U don’t believe him because vampires?? real?? uh huh sure.

Hyeongjun still has the same personality deep inside so he has to show off to u so he picks up ur couch with one hand to prove he’s telling the truth

Ur rightfully shocked and he is visibly nervous

He wants u to accept him so u think over all the good memories you’ve had with him while he stares at u with wide eyes

U love him so eventually u decide to accept him and keep his secret and he couldn’t be more grateful

U accepting him definitely bring out more of his cheerful personality

U two probably move away from the city into the countryside where no one can find u

It’s peaceful and beautiful and u get to spend the rest of ur life with the one u love

Taeyoung

That last one was so sad let’s move on to the cheerful stuff

Tae is a helpful boy!

He’s gonna live forever so he’s like ‘might as well make the world a better place since I’m gonna be here forever'

He volunteers literally everywhere

He does community service and works at nursing homes

The type to go around and pay for people’s parking meters in his free time

Like jungmo he volunteers at blood banks to get his blood because he doesn’t want to hurt anybody

He does all of this under fake names that he changes every once in a while so that way no one questions why somebody who should be like 90 looks 18

He meets u while helping out at an animal shelter

U come in looking for an animal to adopt

(If u don’t like animals then u come in looking for work)

Tae helps u out with the cutest smile on his face

He’s so cute that u ask him for his number

He agrees and everything goes smoothly for u two for a while

Once ur further in the relationship tho, tae’s secret starts to eat at him

He loves u and thinks u deserve to know the truth and he hates hiding things from u

So, like hyeongjun, he tells u his secret

He does it sweetly and holds ur hand so u don’t freak out

Accept this boy and his secret and he will treat u like a queen

He doesn’t like using his vampire powers but if it makes u happy then he will

He will keep u happy for the rest of ur life if u let him

Seongmin

My babysitters a vampire incarnate

He’s a baby vampire who got turned while in high school

He can’t really control himself so he stays away from people as best he can

U see him while in class and in the hallways and u think the poor boy is just shy

He doesn’t sit with anybody during class and eats lunch alone

U find him one day outside the school eating lunch and ask to sit with him

He hesitantly agrees and u notice how cute he is

U talk to him for a while and he isn’t very responsive or talkative so u ask him why he sits alone so much

Ur expecting usual answers like maybe he doesn’t have any friends maybe people make him nervous but no

He says that he has a secret 👀

Now ur interested so u ask him what it is

He says he's a vampire and ur like damn the cute boy is crazy this sucks :((

But then he offers to prove it so u say sure and he

Has fangs???

Those must be fake right??

U lean forward and touch them and prick ur finger on one

Nope they’re real and now ur bleeding 😃

Seongmin’s eyes go wide and he scoots away from u while u search ur bag for a bandaid

When the awkwardness subsides and seongmin stops looking at u like ur dinner, u start talking about this very unique situation

He tells u that he’s literally been starving since he was first turned and needs blood badly

And u just so happen to volunteer at a hospital

So u offer to get him blood if he promises to not eat u..he agrees obviously

And that marks the start of ur very strange high school relationship

Despite how strange he can be he truly loves u and takes care of u throughout school

U two are now inseparable

[amphtaminedreams]

Why Ethical Fashion Doesn’t Need to be Boring (In the Words of a Shopping Addict): Lookbook no.14

Hi to anyone reading,

Arghhhh.

I never know how to start posts when I literally just uploaded the other week because I tend to follow the very formulaic approach of summarising what I’ve missed due to sporadic posting…I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m still posting sporadically, it just so happens I’ve had more content to get up recently-sometimes lightning strikes twice, ya know, and I have a brief, if chemically fuelled, reprieve from the permanent state of exhaustion. It’s not like there isn’t stuff to talk about- the last month has seen a horrific murder and public outcry in response. There are a lot of important conversations going on about women’s safety and misogynistic violence that I really cannot do justice to in a paragraph and feelings that have been brewing for a long time that I can’t articulate yet and will not attempt to offhandedly do so in this post. Right now I just wanna say that I stand in solidarity with all those with histories of experiencing violence at the hands of men, those who aren’t here with us anymore as a result of that violence such as Sarah Everard, and those marginalised women whose stories don’t make national news. It’s very telling the way Sarah’s vigil was responded to by the same police force that have allowed mostly male anti-mask protests to go ahead with protestors unscathed, and solidarity with the women who were treated with such an unjustifiable amount of force at the vigil too.

That being said, women’s rights are something I wanted to talk about in this post, with regards to the way it ties into ethical fashion. None of us are perfect and it’s easy living in a first world country to detach yourself from the issues stemming from fast fashion, especially when you don’t have the time or money yourself to be selective about where you buy from. Don’t get me wrong, I do treat myself to some new clothes from fast fashion companies like ASOS and Urban Outfitters a few times a year so this is NOT coming from a place of preaching, but I have drastically reduced that to buying about 90% of my new clothes either second hand from Depop or charity shops or clothing stores that are upfront about their outsourcing practices. I love putting outfits together and updating my wardrobe and I don’t want to abandon that as a medium of self-expression because it does bring me joy, but to continue to update my wardrobe with the frequency I do by buying from fast fashion retailers on such a regular basis I accepted was going against the things I care about; around 80% of textile workers on poverty wages in developing countries are girls and women (opensocietyfoundations.org), and whilst fast fashion companies in the West continue to outsource manufacturing to said countries to cut costs and there is little regulation enforcing employers to pay women the same amount as men or even adhere to a minimum wage, they will continue to be forced into these roles where they are subjected to horrific working conditions, impossible production targets and frequent abuse (according to an article published in the Guardian in June 2018, 540 incidences of abuse, often of a sexual nature, were reported by women working in factories supplying the retailers GAP and H&M when they were interviewed on the subject). There is no denying that the fast fashion industry depends on and perpetuates the subjugation of women and systematically prevents them from making steps towards gender equality in their countries, be it through greater financial independence or the freedom to pursue higher education; the popular current practice by western fast fashion companies of outsourcing manufacturing to factories unhindered by workers rights and gender equality laws by association condones the sexual and physical violence that occurs as a means of punishment for not meeting targets, the exploitative pay which affords women little independence from husbands and families dominated by patriarchal values, and the long, exhausting hours which women have little choice but to take in order to avoid their contracts being terminated and to put food on the table. No, one individual completely abandoning fast fashion isn’t going to put an end to these unethical practices but if all of us make a conscious effort to reduce our consumption at least a little and make it clear why we’re doing so, we put greater pressure on fast fashion companies to act in a more responsible way. There isn’t going to be any kind of miraculous change of heart, so to force them to change we have to hit the industry and the people at the top who benefit from such practices where it really hurts: their profit.

SO, for this post I thought I would highlight some of my favourite more ethical online clothing companies to buy from; the more popular these more socially responsible brands become, the more apparent it becomes to fast fashion companies relying on an exploitative business model that how they treat their workers is of growing importance to consumers. It’s all very well and good Missguided and PLT talking about empowering women and making “girl boss” slogan tees but we need to make it clear that we’re aware of the hollowness of the gesture, and that we want less hypocritical talk and more action to actually enhance the lives of the women that work for them, not just the ones they show in their flashy offices on TV. I’ve included my favourite Depop shops too, because if you can shop second hand, that’s even better; though I like to treat myself to new clothes now and again, I’m aware that the impact the manufacturing process in general, whether or not the company acts in an ethical way with regards to their employment practices, has on the environment is more often than not detrimental. Depop has really been my saving grace this past year-if you know what you’re looking for and have the time and patience, you can find so many gems, and at this point the balance of my wardrobe is tipped firmly in the favour of the reuse and recycle approach to shopping. In the vein of reusing fashion, I thought I’d also include a mini lookbook for a cardigan I got from one of my favourite online retailers, The Ragged Priest, just as a reminder that 1). The best way to be sustainable is to rewear and 2). That with tweaks, one piece alone can give you multiple completely different outfits. Like honestly, outfit repeating doesn’t have to be a literal repeat. Sometimes it’s worth spending a little bit extra on something that looks good with everything, and making that investment into your ability to fool people that you’ve got your shit together by wearing something cool as fuck.

Quickly before I get into it, I’m aware that some ethical companies are a bit out of the average consumer’s price range, and so I wanted to sort them into price point categories which will work as follows:

£= most of their stock is £40 & under ££= most of their stock is between £40-£100 £££= most of their stock costs upwards of £100

Now, in no particular order (and starting with online retailers before moving onto Depop shops), here’s the list!

1. THE RAGGED PRIEST

PRICE POINT: ££

Using recycled fabric to construct their pieces where possible and releasing clothing in small drops designed to sell out rather than following the typical fast fashion model of outsourcing the production of vast amounts of clothing overseas, the Ragged Priest is my absolute favourite clothing brand out there. It’s *semi* affordable and because they are all about those bold, in your face, your-grandma-will-probs-think-it’s-ugly kinda pieces, just one can do SO much for your wardrobe.

I recently bought this cardigan from their The Simple Life drop and had so many outfit ideas for it that I thought I’d put a few of them together for this post just as an example of how you can take the same piece over and over again and still make it interesting, even when you don’t feel like straying too far from your personal style preferences. While we’re at it, I also wanted to use this mini lookbook to point out how fucking great Depop is! Literally everything in these outfits is from there apart from the shoes and the jewellery, the leather blazer on the right I bought a few years ago and then the top and skirt in the outfit from the far left which are both from Ebay. The shoes with that outfit are from Koi Vegan footwear-I didn’t include them in this list because I wanted to keep it consistent and focus on ethical clothing companies rather than retailers that focus on one specific thing such as shoes or jewellery, but they are my favourite place to buy shoes from and focus closely on ethical production too so definitely recommend.

2. MINGA LONDON

PRICE POINT: ££

Towards the lower end of the ££ price point, Minga is probably the closest you’re gonna get to an ethical version of the Dolls Kill Deliah’s range. Their focus on being a socially responsible business is a huge part of their ethos and their pieces are put together in Portugal, where they're based, by a small in-house team; the majority of their fabric is sourced from local Portuguese businesses and even more amazingly, they recycle the fabric of the pieces they don’t sell in new designs. They are just a generally amazing company and I wish more people knew about them because their pieces are fucking adorable and wouldn’t be out of place (or overpriced) in your local UO.

3. ELSIE & FRED

PRICE POINT: £

A small, black owned business set up by 3 siblings from Coventry, Elsie & Fred have earned themselves a reputation as a staple provider of the festival season wardrobe. Being an independently owned business, they have strict standards that their manufacturers must adhere to and a close working relationship with the owners of the two factories who oversee production in Guangzhou, China, to ensure fair wages and a safe working environment. On the environmental side of things, Elsie and Fred are working to incorporate recycled fabric into their designs as much as possible and have this year introduced compostable mailing bags.

4. HOUSE OF SUNNY

PRICE POINT: £££

Follow enough British instagram fashion influencers and you are bound to have heard of House of Sunny in 2020-snagging what is probably my all time favourite coat from there in 2019 before all the hype is a humble brag I will allow myself on the basis that I haven’t been able to afford anything since, lol. Along with kooky, one of a kind designs, being decidedly anti-fast fashion is a huge part of their branding; HoS only drop 2 collections of limited stock a year, thoroughly screen suppliers and on their website you can find a tonne of information on how they’re working to offset their environmental impact too. If you can treat yourself to a piece from there at any point, the quality of the garments truly make the price point worth it.

5. JADED LONDON

PRICE POINT: ££

Similarly to The Ragged Priest and House of Sunny, Jaded London go the route of dropping limited collections on a less frequent basis intending to sell out (particularly popular pieces are occasionally restocked) rather than needlessly manufacturing vast quantities of garments to flog for whatever they can get and cutting corners with fair employment practices to offset any losses. By employing independent staff in the manufacturing plants with which they liaise to ensure fair, dignified working conditions and also by working closely with charities such as the Trussel Trust and Stand Up to Racism, Jaded London demonstrates a level of commitment to corporate responsibility that set them apart from a lot of similar online retailers. They are at the top of their game when it comes to daring and experimental yet wearable pieces and so it’s cool that they recognise the need to conduct their business in a considerate way too.

6. THE HIPPIE SHAKE

PRICE POINT: ££

Owned by UK based bohemian queen Naomi Hession, the Hippie Shake is not only a great small independent business to support but is also the definition of slow fashion. With a limited number of opulent 70s style pieces, I have always wanted to purchase something from here. I’ve yet to do so but I’m gonna make it my mission eventually.

7. VINTAGE HEARTS

PRICE POINT: £

An affordable, gorgeous array of quirky handpicked vintage pieces that would probably take you forever to find in a charity shop or that you’d be charged a small fortune for if you found it in a high street second hand store, Vintage Hearts is where you should go if you want a timeless statement piece that may have otherwise ended up in a landfill. The added benefit of vintage clothing is that it is, by its nature, great for the environment, but you can also look fab and groovy as fuck as you do your bit for the planet<3

8. WE ARE COW

PRICE POINT: £

Offering both original vintage pieces and reworked pieces using recycled fabrics, We Are Cow has both basic branded second hand items but also handmade streetwear style original designs all for a fair price. You can tell that it’s all high quality stuff consistent with their modern, functional aesthetic and it’s clear that the team behind the shop has a real vision in mind when they’re designing. 

9. OUT OF THE ORDINARY CLOTHING

PRICE POINT: £

In the words of Corrie Davis, founder of OOTO "I start with the belief that fashion will be always be worn differently by the individual that wears it. Every collection from Out of the Ordinary is different to the last but undeniably Out of the Ordinary. I champion flamboyancy and embrace the cultures I've experienced around the world, merging the two and creating popular style trends in exciting textiles, prints and techniques to bring to you something a little Out of the Ordinary." That pretty much sums up the vibrancy, vivacity and bold elegance of the brand’s aesthetic perfectly, which is reflected by Davis’ commitment to ethical manufacturing based on relationships forged between the founders and family artisans and the sourcing of fabrics from textile markets around the world. Everything you need for a boujie summer holiday in the Mediterranean-when leaving the country is finally allowed again, lol, EVERYBODY GET YOUR FUCKING VACCINE-is here.

10. WILD THING

PRICE POINT: ranges from £-£££ depending on the brand

Probs the closest thing you’ll get to an ethical ASOS, Wild Thing brings together a host of sustainable and independent clothing brands and puts them all in one place to present to us all a collection of the sickest festival style fashion out there. Whilst it’s super cool that this already exists and a slice of humble pie for myself to remind me that I am not in fact the revolutionary marketing genius I thought I was, I’m bummed to know that my idea of said ethical ASOS style website is already out there. Fingers crossed for the next grand money making scheme that comes to mind that I can use to distribute some wealth (yeah, there probably won’t be any because very few original thoughts enter my head, clearly, tehe) xoxo

11. SHOPFLUFFY

PRICE POINT: ££

I know it’s 2021 and we all kind hate the idea of girl boss feminism and the connotations of privilege and exploitation that come with it but can we bring it back when we’re talking about women who embody what it was actually all supposed to be about? Because the owner of ShopFluffy, @lulutrixabelle embodies everything good about the term. Somebody who genuinely does (cue Ramona singer voice here) empower other women through her celebration of powerful female friendship and free spirited sense of personal style that should inspire every one of us to wear whatever the fuck we want (clashing patterns and over-accessorising be damned), Lulu handmakes all the designs on her site and very much places an emphasis on slow fashion by releasing only a few collections a year which you can clearly tell a lot of painstaking effort and talent went into. ShopFluffy is on the pricier side but the adorable crocheted coords LuLu specialises in, reminiscent of carefree childhood days and picnics in meadows picturesque enough to be the backdrop of a Jacquemus runway presentation, are a bold and beautiful expression of playful femininity worthy of departing with a bit more than you’d usually spend. After all, if you are gonna spend that money on a piece of clothing, supporting an ethical, independent woman owned business clearly built on carefully honed skill, passion and authenticity is the way to go.

12. SHOPEASYTIGER

PRICE POINT: ££

It feels correct to follow up the ShopFluffy mention with ShopEasyTiger given the friendship between the former’s owner with Tigerlilly Winfield (is that not the most wonderfully storybook character sounding name of all time?), owner of Easy Tiger. Up there with my most revered style icons, Tigerlilly’s designs are as flamboyant and glamorous and daring and dramatic as her own personal style, and again, they are ethically made! If you want to get that psychedelic rock n’roll groupie that’s actually way cooler than the band itself kinda energy too, her shop is the place to start.

13. HOTTTRAMP 

PRICE POINT: ££

Founded by the incredibly hot Belle_hott_tramp on Instagram, HottTramp is a collection of both handmade pieces and carefully selected vintage finds that blur the lines between 90s Courtney Love style grunge and 70s summer of love hippy that make me want to start my own all girl rock band and hire a camper van to paint black and road trip through the American desert. Given my complete lack of hand eye coordination, I’ll most likely never have the instrumental skills to do that but I never said it was a realistic fantasy, okay?

14. LAZY OAF

PRICE POINT: ££

Is it just me that always thought Lazy Oaf was within the same kind of price range as The Ragged Priest? Because it’s a lottt more expensive than I thought. That being said, if you’re going for a playful, toned down Molly Goddard kinda look, anything bright and youthful, Lazy Oaf’s clothes 100% fit that brief. You are paying more, but part of that markup is reflected in their transparency when it comes to their ethical code, which includes ensuring that statutory minimum wage laws are adhered to in the supply chain as well as that all workers are of the legal working age for their countries and that their working hours do not exceed the legal limit. They are also steadfastly committed to donating a portion of their profits to charities dedicated to improving mental wellbeing such as Mind, Rethink Mental Illness, and Young Minds, something that is hugely important to me given my own experiences and the line of work I want to go into.

15. NEVER FULLY DRESSED

PRICE POINT: ££

Similar in their aesthetic to Out of the Ordinary, Never Fully Dressed is big on colour, print, and elegance. They have both specially selected second hand pieces on offer and original designs too and the about us section of their website clearly states how passionate they are about their ethical manufacturing process, which takes place both here in the UK and in China.

16. TUNNEL VISION

PRICE POINT: ££

Offering the dreamiest, one of a kind vintage 90s pieces, Tunnel Vision could just as easily be a grunge girl band come the craft themed moodboard as it is an online retailer. If the 90s isn’t for you-I mean, I don’t wanna question anybody’s taste levels but…-they also have the option of shopping by era, which I think is a really cool feature I wish a lot of irl vintage shops would incorporate.

17.  LOVE TOO TRUE

PRICE POINT: £

Everything on Love Too True is fucking gorgeousss and it is no surprise that they manufacture their garments here in London because I feel their brand totally encompasses that stereotypical 90s East End punk vibe perfectly with a shit tonne of chunky boots and show stopping plaid pieces that makes my heart ache for a riot grrrl renaissance. Yes, when it comes to feminism’s place in mainstream culture, making sure the political goals and structural changes we’re aiming for are visible to all is by far the most important, but let’s have a resurgence of the grunge girl’s armour along with that and PLEASE let’s leave athleisure in the 2010s. No more Kardashian nude leggings, I beg (I AM being lighthearted, wear whatever you want! We’re not policing women’s clothes in this neck of the woods).

18. NINE LIVES BAZAAR

PRICE POINT: £££

Eurgh. Nine Lives Bazaar. I want it ALL. Their clothes give me all the Etro, Zimmerman, Torey Burch, modernised Stevie Nicks vibes on a slightly more realistic budget, though unfortunately for me said budget just isn’t realistic enough. You would think pieces being ethically produced is just a given when it comes to clothes within this price range but that’s not necessarily the case and Nine Lives Bazaar is one of the ones you can trust to actually be considerate of their employees needs when it comes to their approach to business. To anybody who can afford to shop here, I am insanely jealous. The rest of us, for now, can just browse the website n feel the fantasy, channel a Valentina level of delusion and pretend it’s just the import taxes from Australia that’s holding us back from making a purchase.

-DEPOP SHOPS-

1. @HOUSE_OF_EROTIQUE

PRICE POINT: ££

Everything handmade and latex and form fitting to make you the baddest bitch in the room, I’ve got myself a few pieces from this shop over the past couple of years. Customer service is a bit hit or miss and there’s been times when I’ve had to wait a while for my purchases to get to me but because they’re all one of a kind and custom made to fit, it’s worth it, and when they have messed up they were kind enough to add something to my order for free.

2. @SACREDHAWK

PRICE POINT: ££

If you picture raiding the wardrobe of a biker gang, snatching the Coachella bound suitcases of the Revolve ambassadors at Palm Springs airport, and then jumbling all those clothes together, that’s probably your best bet at getting an idea of Sacred Hawk’s aesthetic. Formerly an ASOS concession, the brand is now available on Depop and is a collection of the most lavish glam grunge pieces, all vintage or reworked vintage. Some things are a bit on the pricey side but I would say they are all priced fairly considering how unique and ornate a lot of the pieces are, and I reeeeally wanna be able to say I own something from there one day.

3. @IDENTITYPARTY

PRICE POINT: £££

I struggled with how to categorise this Depop shop in terms of price point because although there are some fairly low-priced pieces, the standouts are the vintage coats which are understandably a lot more expensive-if you want to fully immerse yourself in the Almost Famous Penny Lane fantasy, you’re gonna have to fork out a little bit.

4. @RETRO_RAIL

PRICE POINT: £££

Retro_rail is of a similar vein to IdentityParty, in that the standout pieces are the vintage coats which are usually upwards of £100-if you’re looking for one-of-a-kind statement outerwear to invest in, I can’t recommend this shop enough. If you’re like me and you’re looking for something more within the £ to ££ price range, Retro Rail is still worth a browse as inspiration for the kind of styles you might wanna try and find elsewhere on Depop.

5. @5THSEASON

PRICE POINT: £

Most of the quirky vintage pieces you’ll find on offer on this Depop shop are within the £25 to £40 price range and though you’ve got coats similar to those you’ll find on Identity Party and Retro Rail and they are sill slightly more than the tops and trousers and dresses on sale etc., they are more modestly priced than the other 2 listed.

6. @DREAMERSREBELS

PRICE POINT: £££

Another v pricey one, dreamersrebels specialises in the daintiest, most whimsical 60s style co-ords I’ve ever seen. Handmade upon purchase, which in turn guarantees little textile waste, you can find the kind of pieces you’d expect to see on a 21st century incarnation of Audrey Hepburn, all the soft pastels and timeless, retro silhouettes you could possibly wish for. I mean, wishing is pretty much all I can do rn but anyone with a near minimum wage retail job knows you need something to aspire to, lol. I managed to budget enough to treat myself to a Selkie dress so I’m manifesting that same level of self-discipline to get me a dreamersrebels piece next.

7. @AWKWARDPHASE

PRICE POINT: £

Very affordable vintage pieces that range from cutesy mid-century style dresses and coats to grungy 90s jackets, perfectly styled and presented too in a way that will have you wanting to order something for yourself to replicate that modern spin on old staples and give them a second life.

8. @EVIEHALLOWS

PRICE POINT: £

Another Depop shop where the clothes are styled so well, it’ll have you thinking you can make anything from a floral 1950s housewife style cardigan to a lycra jumpsuit look very intentionally on trend.

9. @JAHOOLI

PRICE POINT: £

There’s also Jahooli, which I will just say ticks all the same boxes as the other two aforementioned stores to avoid repeating myself.

10. @LOVELYANDLOVELESS 

PRICE POINT: £

In terms of price, I would put Lovely and Loveless into the same category as Jahooli, Awkward Phase and Evie Hallows, the difference being that the clothes available are more on the dainty, classically feminine side. People who have a Pinterest board dedicated to the cottagecore or light academia aesthetic (whew, the gen Z is showing), this one’s for you.

11. @CHLOESTJOHN

PRICE POINT: £

Finally, we have the ChloeStJohn Depop shop and it’s definitely a good one to end on; picture the wardrobe of Carrie Bradshaw if she’d lived in Camden instead of New York in the 90s and hung out with a slightly edgier crew than Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha and there you have it, the vibe of the pieces on offer. Does it belong to a girl who probs lives near Primrose Hill and has access to all the boujiest second hand clothes shops available which she most likely routinely raids to resell on Depop? Potentially, but hopefully not because I am very here for this whole red wine in one hand and a cigarette in another back when people were allowed to smoke inside bars aesthetic. I’m sorry that the gen Z part of me once again jumped out in such an aggressive fashion with that last sentence, but I know you know what I mean.

And that’s everything! 

I did wanna close off the post with a reminder of how nuanced a discussion this is-having the time and money to be more conscious about your ethical footprint when you’re buying clothes is in itself a privilege; fashion shouldn’t be an interest reserved for only those who have the means to pay extra or spend time scouring the internet. It’s also important to be aware of the lack of size inclusivity-a lot of the “trendy” sustainable fashion brands tend to not stock anything larger than a size 14 and attempt to deflect attention away from this by categorising clothes as either XS, S, M, or L, which is in itself a bit of a pisstake considering that 12-14 is the average clothing size here for women in the UK, and so in no way large. Shopping from Depop and Ebay is hard too when so many brands fail to understand how to fit a non-straight size body which in turn necessitates trying stuff on before you buy it, something that isn’t possible when you’re shopping second hand. A lot of Depop shops fail to offer returns and even with those who do, chasing up that return can be a time-consuming and generally all round frustrating process.

Basically, when we’re having these kinds of discussions it’s important to consider everyone’s situations and avoid sitting on some kind of high horse. I feel like things have become even more complicated lately- with the recent closure of once popular high street stores such as Topshop and Miss Selfridge, it has got me thinking a lot about just how many people’s income here in the UK is dependent on fast fashion retailers too and their popularity. The job scarcity resulting from these kind of closures, which are often all that is available to a lot of people with the demands of the job market seemingly becoming more and more impossible each day even for those who have been in higher education, is clearly an issue when the kind of support you can expect from the government as someone out of work is so woefully inadequate and likely to become even more so as the conservatives push for further cuts to UC and PIP. The past year has really shown us just how shaky the ground that an intensely capitalist society stands on is and how quickly everything can go tits up when we don’t invest in a safety net for those who are struggling. People seem to have realised more than ever the extent to which those whose jobs we deem “low-skilled” are actually the backbone of society, and yet even here, whilst the situation may not be quite as desperate as it is elsewhere, we still haven’t seen pay rises that reflect that. Turns out all the clapping WAS an empty gesture, who’d have thought it (for fuck’s sake)? Fair wages really are a global issue that starts with paying people enough for them to comfortably live on and in time should lead to a shift in consciousness away from the concept of profit before everything else and towards an equal playing field for everyone, something we should take every opportunity to speak up about and demand from our “leaders”, however shit a job so many of those leaders do. It’s frustrating how the focus on making ethical purchasing choices is so often on the overconsumption of things that women historically are more actively interested in such as clothes and accessories and make up when the reality is that the wealth of every industry titan on this planet, NOT just the ones who dominate the fast fashion sphere, depends on them continuing to get away with exploiting people-we should be looking at how we can show our dissatisfaction in all areas. Maybe I’m perpetuating that with this post, since a lot of the online retailers I mentioned only sell women’s clothing, but that being said, I’m not about to do men’s work for them, lol-they should make the effort, if possible, to research into sustainable clothing alternatives too.

Anyway, that’s the end of this post! If you read to the end, thank you so much! If I’ve made any errors in my research or there are more sustainable clothing brands that I could’ve mentioned, feel free to inbox me them too, and I can add them to this post if Tumblr allows. It’s usually a little bitch when it comes to editing long posts but I’ll try my best:) Again, thanks for reading! And if you are, I hope you are safe and well!

Lauren x