#but I had this idea because I’ve been having a lot of thoughts about reo mikage

[pbear]

If your favorite isn’t here, then maybe they’re on @purplehairswagtourney. I just picked some of my favorites to put in this poll.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

OK CATCHUP TIME bro I fr thought you meant a HIATUS LMAOO GLAD YOURE BACK THO!!!!!! I fr was wondering if you’d be back for s2 maybe I was just primed by the usual tumblr hiatus sessions LOL

Tumblr the ultimate opp bruhhhhh someone come fix this site

ISAAC NEWTON AHAHAISHABAB bro what kind of poster is that…it’s FUNNY but aren’t you trying to encourage your students LMAOO??? It’s most definitely oaeu vibes coded

FR that’s the description I was looking for like he’s emo but that’s it. No other personality flavor. No you’re so real for megumi sae has no wit no sass it’s just flat emo and insults his insults aren’t even creative

BRUH I SAW THAT AND WENT ?????? Im ngl that ending felt like a whole load of nothing like huh??????? Idek what to say atp like yes gege give us NOTHING??? Whatever wars over ig truly the end of an era can’t wait to get my sanity back

SHAHSSH LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK sometimes I scroll through a tag and see a completely different character from a completely different fandom like WHAT are YOU doing HERE??

No because I usually look on the usual site likes bulbapedia or serebii but I didn’t find anything at first glance so I scrolled a bit to find something that was more formatted for fast looking ig that was my first mistake

Wait actually???? Wtf…ok wait BAROU how did I not think of that LMFAO anti-ginger campaign so real (I also don’t like the carrot juice aesthetic dw) but OMG can’t wait to see the manifestation of that Reo fic

LMAOOO real almost forgot that I didn’t even recognize some of those pokemon (Kunigami getting slandered and catching strays real wc Kunigami ESPECIALLY gives me scovillain vibes)

OOOOOOH wait the summoning concept slaps I’ve always found it really interesting but I haven’t read anything that uses that trope in awhile I’m very intrigued

Too real I think we have the same brain I LOVE CJILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS had to resist from adding fairy to mine because Wb already has that going on but yeah that’s also why I’ve always preferred rivals instead of enemies like something about the “extreme” of enemies usually ends up in a lot of wacky and cliche things that I don’t specifically enjoy

LMAOOOOO WAKT I’m excited and scared (only because of the swerve factor) KARASU MEDDLING WOULD BE SOOOO GOOD also wait on that note if you did feel like childhood friends would help you feel free to add it idm either way lowk I had some vague ideas about miscommunication but nothing concrete either LMAO I mean my first thought is always angst relating to his traumatic upbringing but that’s kinda a given…maybe his differing personalities (when he’s with friends vs parents) idk I’ll leave this in your capable hands and leave it vague so you can work your magic….i trust you’ll cook!! (No pressure though obv we will NOT be channeling Hiori parent energy) karasu fr about to come save hioris ass though HAHA

OOOOOOH I’m living for it I can sense a real work of art brewing here

AIKULATIONS anything with aikulations is gonna slap I can just feel those vibes

LMAOOOO dumbass Karasu we love to see it trip down memory lane to fwtkac vibes

“Sae number 2” has me crying (still not getting over the fact that there’s 3) LMAO sae would fit that trope perfectly like with the way he’s got his manager sweating HAHA

The love triangle is actually so exciting it’s been awhile since I’ve read a good one that combo of characters too is also such a unique choice many possibilities

The Isagi one is fr so isagi it’s hilarious but OOOH MURDER MYSTERY I see the vision

Sae number 3…ok wait Spanish tutor that’s kinda cute I also think when done well childhood friends with Rin has a lot of potential too excited to see what you cook

WAIT IM ON MY KNEES PLEASE USE THE SCATTERBUG IDEA LMFAOOAOOOOOOO especially with it being from Tullia I’m crying I’m so invested in the aiku Niko dynamic now (wait speaking of what vivillon variant do you think he’d get….lowk idr the mechanics of how you get different ones I just know they exist)

CRYING its kinda giving fwtkac once again this is so funny yuki is about to have a really good sense of smell at this rate if Karasu blows his eardrums out

RANDOMLY PASS AWAY (NOT THE HOLLYHOCK REF) he would just do a ninja despawn move and never come back

I forgot he liked owls I was fr like “bro what sparked you to think of this” now I see it HAHAHA wait you should use this for the Rin fic for the event it’s actually perfect (wait this would also be really funny in ref to the sae spanish teacher fic but sae likes seagulls)

NOOOOO omg hope your wrist gets better soon!!! Wait that’s actually crazy bro writing a whole PhD thesis paper in 36 hours or something and THE EYE omg manifesting a very speedy recovery!!!!

NAGI HATING MUTUAL SHAHSHSH but that’s so funny imagine no one ever caught it until pursuits full debut

REST AND RECHARGE TIME!!!! Yes omg a long kdrama binge session is in order! I think the most recent one I watched was “marry my husband” that was actually CRAZY although if you’re looking to not get mad maybe choose a different one because I was getting invested into that drama

SHSHSHS no because I kept debating how I should’ve perceived the way you worded it but the “come back stronger” made me think you were gonna go through a journey first not a 36 hour boot camp LMAOOO welcome back though HAHAHA I originally read it as “oh shit I have more work than I thought this is now going from 36 hours to indefinite” oops

- Karasu anon

SLDKJFHSK no i could not do a hiatus i fear…like yeah individual stories of mine go on hiatus all of the time because i start them and then don’t feel like writing until i randomly get motivation months later but me going on hiatus from being online is like antithetical to my character i NEED my phone time talking with my online friends hehe it was like actually terrible when i was gone for two and a half days i couldn’t even make it through the full 36 hours 😭 and omg you’re so right i could never be gone when bllk season2 is on the way!! just barely a week until it’s out AHH

HELPPP no he was such a silly teacher he did not gaf…i took calc 2 my senior year of high school and bro would make fun of us like i remember one time someone asked him what math he took in high school and he was like “i never took calculus in high school because i wasn’t a nerd like all of you” LMAOOO it sounds mean but he was really chill and funny (plus he was a really good teacher too) so i loved him…my friends and i made jjk ocs of some of our teachers (i wish i had a reason but it truly was that we had the free time) and i think his was my favorite he even features in the one megumi story i never talk about online because it’s so dependent on the high school teacher jjk oc lore that i could never post it but it’s SO special and dear to me even though i’m not into jjk much anymore

SAE A LOAF OF WHITE BREAD HAHAHA no because i would defend him but even giving him personality in oaeu made him feel like he was leaning ooc?? like wdym he makes a couple of sassy jokes and suddenly he’s not even himself?? that’s just not a character i fw i fear…yeah the jjk ending was. well. it was something!! idk like i said i wasn’t super impressed at all honestly i’m probably not going to engage with much jjk content for a while just because the ending was so…yk. anyways i saw a really interesting video on tik tok (during my self imposed isolation so sadly i didn’t save the link) that was talking about how animanga tends to rely on the visuals aspect of the storytelling which allows authors to get away with much more simplistic worldbuilding that doesn’t get explained as thoroughly and this also seeps into the plot/characters as well and i really think that that’s something that impacted jjk — there were definitely points where there was more flash over substance (in my opinion) and the magic system is definitely unique and well thought out in some ways but also unnecessarily convoluted in others?? it’s a story that would not at all hold up as a novel which again different medium of storytelling but if key elements of the plot/world like cursed techniques such as hollow purple fall apart when you cannot physically show them to the audience (just think about if you had to read gojo explaining his technique and then he just uses it on paper SKLJFHS it’s so anticlimactic lowkey) then that’s a marker that more groundwork needs to be done 😭 people who glaze relatively basic shounens like jjk for being peak writing and having amazing character dynamics etc etc (in my opinion and this is controversial hence why i’m hiding it in our chats) need to go read like…actual books (or even light novels) because if you think that gojo and geto is the most interesting dynamic conceivable then i fear you are cooked because number one craziest mira take they are NOT that special/compelling/appealing to me like i can see why people might like them but they are so normal and average to me in terms of writing 😰 READ ORV OR SMTH whatever kim dokja and yoo joonghyuk have going on is 10x more fascinating (superior white x black duo sorry not sorry)

BROOO EVERYTIME I SEE ONE OF THOSE PARAGRAPHS I CRASH OUT no because like i said it’s always such a random blend too like wdym sukuna and nagi are both in the “they would definitely cheat on you” category?? HELLO??? first of all WHAT do those two characters have in common and second of all NO THEY WOULD NOT?? ugh the mischaracterization is insane fr bro idk i was “off” of tumblr for like. two days. and now my dash is just going crazy (not about me it’s just like everyone is going through it atm for some reason which means a lot of negativity and complaining and whatnot from others) so i have a lot of rage in my heart for tumblr users rn SDLJFHSDK (not really but also like all i’m saying is if anyone ever tries to drag me into some dumbass conflict on here i’m fr just going to block them i don’t have time to beef w 14 year olds when i have characters to write fics about and actually enjoyable people [like you] to talk to)

NO WAIT WE NEED TO EXPAND ON THE BAROU VISION just like first of all i can so easily imagine him in a royal guard uniform holding a sword and being all stern but immediately caving as SOON as you bat your eyelashes at him and letting you get away with things like sneaking out of the palace as long as you take him to look after you but he starts falling in love with you when he realizes you’re not as stuck up as the rest of the royals (yes i did steal this from the megumi fic what about it…) imagine we get aikulations in here via aiku also being a royal guard to like. fucking sae or smth…omg wait yeah imagine you were sent to marry sae and barou’s your guard and aiku’s sae’s guard so he occasionally pulls up, says smth sassy/wise/meaningful/borderline insulting and then he just leaves (bonus points if niko’s his squire) AHHHH omg hold on imagine we throw in a little tullia and aiku subplot while we’re at it…i would say bring back elakshi but she’s deadass public enemy number one i’ve gotten so many comments on wattpad hating on her to the point that i’m abt to delete my work off of wattpad and be like “sorry but you all suck”…anyways so instead of elakshi we could have a may ducat comeback i suppose 🤔 if i didn’t have a bazillion things to be doing and a royal au following almost exactly the same plot for jjk already (which lowkey idk if i’ll ever finish given my motivation for jjk rn) i’d fr be attending to this but alas. pursuit and my requests are taking precedence rn

i def think the summoning concept is NOT what the requester had in mind but ykw i’m not basic so we’re going to do smth a little different hehe and honestly one day i want to write an enemies to lovers but to do it PROPERLY if that makes sense…like miraverse enemies to lovers where it’s not just stereotypical cold rude black haired male lead x idiot dumbass “perfect” badass female lead…however sae itoshi is NOT the one i would do that for (even though i’m fr in an enemies to lovers with him irl i think) i’m trying to imagine who in bllk i’d give that honor to 🧐 not nagi he has no enemies he doesn’t care enough…karasu’s too much of a lover at heart he fits rivals perfectly but true enemies no…barou’s the same he’s just a simp at heart despite his gruff exterior…otoya and yukimiya are too chill to ever give antagonistic vibes…kaiser and rin are too annoying and obvious for it it would end up being basic and cringy…reo is a sweetheart he can pull off angst well but not enemies…i’m stumped actually maybe just because i hate the trope HAHA

ooh vivillon colors…iirc it was just based on what country/region your ds was set to!! so like depending on where you lived irl you would get a diff vivillon but since pursuit obviously takes place in one region where the outside world has no bearing i’m going to say that it just depends on where you end up evolving scatterbug into vivillon (maybe like an evolutionary advantage thing in terms of camouflage??) i think niko’s based on vibes would be the jungle variant and tullia’s is either the meadow variant (which is like the really famous pink one) or the savanna one!!

LMAOOO yukimiya cannot escape the fwtkac menacing karasu role i think it’s so funny how in actual canon we honestly barely see him interacting with karasu (actually i cannot remember if we ever see them have even a single conversation it’s very much so tabieita + ken…bro’s fr just ken 😓) but in the miraverse he’s always pulling up and accidentally making karasu miserable by being too perfect 😭 PLSS otoya’s like “i was never even there baby i was an illusion” so hollyhock mysterious core of him

PLS i lowkey was looking through the account they’ve also made these gorgeous blue and gold rose dividers that would be PERFECT for kaiser i was going to reblog those too and be like “ok kaiser girlies come on now” and then i remembered that i actually also have to write for kaiser now…tbh i don’t usually use super embellished dividers those!! like i prefer to use plain lines and let my headers be aesthetic but lowkey maybe the move for this event will be no headers only ask response + pretty dividers because that’s less work for me SLDKJFHDS

AHHHH my wrist is feeling much better today!! i tried to write smth and my body took a screenshot so i’m giving my hand the weekend off but she’s feeling much better already and same with my eye!! i can use my contacts again on like tuesday ish so hooray for that (i actually don’t mind my glasses as much as i used to in the sense that i don’t think i look horrible with them anymore and everyone actually says i look really cute BUT they hurt behind my ears because i’m not used to wearing them for long periods of time so i cannot wait to retun to my beloved contacts and seeing how i like)

HAHAHA she’s a kaiser stan but she absolutely hates nagi it’s actually very funny to me plus i love meeting a fellow hater no matter who they hate so i love when she drops new haterism posts BUT omg agreed i can only imagine how many people would be in my inbox like “you linked the wrong master list 🧞” (<- sae itoshi emoji)

i feel like mentally and emotionally i do NOT have the space to start smth new so it’ll probably be one i’ve watched before…cloy was the first kdrama i ever watched (only last december!! i am very late to the kdrama game) so it might be time to revisit that one since i haven’t rewatched any of the ones i’ve already seen yet 😩 i also really really liked a time called you so i could def go for another watch of that one 🤩 and i can’t rewatch yet because i literally just finished it in july-ish but i watched this one on netflix with my mother about a vet that gets psychic powers and has to team up with this police officer (tbh reader and noel noa coded) and i wasn’t expecting much out of it but it ended up being really funny so i do think that’s one i’ll probably watch again when i’m bored or looking for something silly to lighten my mood

LSFJK no i’m just really dramatic it was still just a 36 hour “these are the consequences of procrastinating” grind session but i was being emo because i wanted to tap out (i didn’t though!!) fr glad to be back (although i wasn’t on tumblr as much today because i was working on a new pursuit chapter so it probably seemed like i had cut myself off again but in fact i was just working hard so i can please you 🙂‍↕️ you know what they say a win is a win or smth like that)

[jumukus]

A3! Translation: Chikage Utsuki’s SSR [Moonlit Rose Castle] - Refraining Chikage From Consuming Spices

For his role-building as a vampire at the upcoming Halloween event, the Mankai Company members suggest that Chikage should hold back from eating what he likes: spices.

Kumon: Sakuya-san, your devil costume really is adorable!

Sakuya: You too, Kumon. You look good in that Monster costume. It screams Halloween!

Muku: Citron-sama, no matter how many times I see you in that devil suit, I can't help but think you suit that costume so well…!

Citron: Bow down to me fellas! I'm the great devil Citron coming from the bottom of the hell!

Chikage: ...It sure is lively here.

Sakuya: Oh, Chikage-san!

Chikage: What are you all seeing?

Citron: Footage from the Tag Match Halloween!

Sakuya: Each of the costumes sure bring back memories.

Muku: What costume will you be wearing, Chikage-san?

Citron: If I'm not mistaken… A vampire.

Sakuya: I think you will fit the vampire costume well!

Citron: Role-building is important so that you will get into your vampire role!

Chikage: I've never thought that far.

Muku: Speaking of vampires…"Nocturnality" comes to mind!

Kumon: Azuma-san was super cool in that!

Sakuya: How the main character was torn by how he couldn't drink blood even though he wanted it…. It sure fits Azuma-san's vibes.

Muku: Right! And the fact that he had to endure his thirst for blood and how he could express that painful feelings…!

Citron: In that case, Chikage, you should also smile off something, just like Reo!

Chikage: Smile off? They sure are one cheerful vampire. I think the correct word should be, "swear off."

Kumon: In that case… Chikage-san, why don't you refrain from eating spicy food?

Sakuya: But stopping yourself from eating your favorite food seems hard.

Citron: But this is for his role-building! You heard that, Chikage? No spicy food for a while!

Chikage: …Well, I think it'd be great to try that if I have the chance.

Chikage: I'm home.

Izumi: Welcome back, Chikage-san.

Chikage: Are we having Arrabbiata for dinner tonight? It looks delish.

Omi: I've also prepared the spice you've been into these days.

Chikage: How thoughtful of you, Omi. I expected no less from you. Alright, I'm gonna change clothes and--.

Citron: ...Wait.

Izumi: Citron-kun?

Citron: Chikage is currently refrained from eating spices.

Omi: Oh, really?

Chikage: No, I've never said tha…

Kumon: Don't tell me are we doing the whole role-building thingy for real!?

Tsumugi: Now that you mention it, avoiding your favorite food sure is a good way for role-building, since vampires usually hold back from drinking blood.

Izumi: Yeap, I agree. I support that idea!

Citron: Good luck, Chikage! Treat it as a trial to be a cool vampire!

Chikage: …

...Guess I've got no choice, then.

Chikage: ….

Itaru: Nice work today, senpai.

Chikage: Oh, hey, Chigasaki.

Itaru: Are you on your lunch break?

Chikage: Well, yeah.

Itaru: Can you come with me, then?

Chikage: How rare of you to be asking me such a thing. I have a bad feeling about this.

Itaru: That's rude of you.

You're currently refrained from eating spices, right?

So I figured you won't eat anything spicy for lunch.

Chikage: That look… You're having fun, aren't you?

Itaru: I just want to have lunch with you, though?

Chikage: ...Fine. You pick the restaurant.

Itaru: Hm? I didn't think you'd agree this easily.

Chikage: It's for my role-building, after all.

Itaru: How about pancakes, then?

My female co-workers said there's a new delicious restaurant nearby.

Chikage: Two men eating pancakes… That'll be a whole different trial.

Itaru: Let's have one with lots of sweet syrup on top.

Chikage: You're really having fun with this, aren't you?

Chikage: ...phew.

Hisoka: Zzz…

Chikage: This sleepyhead is sleeping in such a place again…

Hisoka: ...I'm not sleeping.

Izumi: Oh, you're home, Chikage-san.

Chikage: Yep, I'm home.

Hisoka: …

Chikage: ...What?

Hisoka: …You're in a bad mood, Chikage.

Chikage: Huh?

Hisoka: Is it because the spice refraining-thing?

Chikage: ….

...You don't need to say it out loud.

Izumi: (Huh? Chikage-san is in a bad mood…? I didn't notice it at all…)

(That's Hisoka-san for you. He knows him well.)

Are you all right? You don't need to force yourself…

Chikage: I'm fine. Don't mind what this sleepyhead said.

Hisoka: If I were in your shoes, I couldn't hold back from eating marshmallows.

Chikage: In your case, you need to hold back a little bit. ...Good night.

Hisoka: ...He really is in a bad mood.

Izumi: (Is Chikage-san all right…)

Izumi: (Today is tiring as well… But!)

(My go-to curry restaurant is launching a new menu today!)

(I could work hard at work because I looked forward to it!)

(I can't wait to see what kind of curry it is…!)

???: --Director-san?

Izumi: Chikage-san!

Chikage: On your way home?

Izumi: Yep. You too?

Chikage: Yeah.

Izumi: So you didn't bring your car today, huh.

Chikage: Due to work's circumstances, I took the train today.

Are you heading somewhere?

Izumi: Yup! You see--.

(Wait. Chikage-san is currently refrained from eating spices.)

(Is it okay for me to tell him I'm going to eat something he can't eat even if he wants to…?)

Chikage: Are you perhaps going to try out that restaurant's new menu?

Izumi: How do you know?

Chikage: You looked troubled.

Izumi: ...As expected of you.

Chikage: Just go, no need to mind me.

Izumi: But…

Chikage: I'm planning to go eat them once this role-building thing is over.

Izumi: …

...On second thoughts, I won't go today.

Chikage: Why?

Izumi: Let's eat it together once your role-building period is over!

Chikage: ...You don't need to be that considerate of me.

OPTION 1: Food will taste more delicious if you eat it with someone else.

Izumi: Food will taste more delicious if you eat it with someone else.

And I want to talk about curry with you.

Chikage: --.

Fine. Guess I have no choice, then. I'll keep you company.

Izumi: Hey, what's with that tone!?

Chikage: You're the one who invited me, though?

Izumi: You have a point…

(I can't accept it, but… Oh, well.)

OPTION 2: It's because curry will never go away!

Izumi: It's because curry will never go away!

Chikage: Well, it'd be scary if a curry has feet and runs away.

Izumi: I don't mean it that way, though!?

Chikage: I'm joking.

Still, you don't need to hold back, Director-san.

Izumi: It's fine! As long as it can help you with your role-building.

Chikage: ...Thanks.

I feel like the food you have been holding back from eating will taste so much more delicious once you eat it again.

I guess this is how a vampire feels when they try to endure their thirst for blood.

Izumi: Ahaha, you're right.

(Looks like the whole refraining thing is showing its effect.)

Itaru: Ugh, I'm dead. Good job on overtime work, me.

(Come to think of it, senpai said he'd be going home quickly today.)

(Maybe he's eating some spicy food somewhere since his role-building period is over.)

Citron: …

Itaru: ...Hm? Citron?

Citron: Ssh, Itaru!

Itaru: What are you doing?

Citron: I sense something strange coming from this room…

Itaru: This room… It's my room, though.

Citron: I can feel a strong, evil sense…

Itaru: Evil sense…? Now I'm curious.

Citron: Try opening the door for now! Trust my intuition.

Itaru: Yeah, yeah.

Chikage: …

Itaru: !?

Chikage: ...Mixing these two spices together might be a good idea.

Citron: Ooh! What a strong smell!

Ouch, my eyes! Poisonous gas is generated!

Itaru: Senpai… What are you doing?

Chikage: Mixing death sauce.

Nothing beats a spice after you haven't had it in a long time.

Itaru: Please don't make it sound like you're drinking alcohol.

Citron: Don't do something rash, Chikage! You'll die if you eat that much!

Chikage: Don't underestimate how much I can endure spiciness.

That's right. Let's try adding ghost pepper powder.

I'm looking forward to seeing how it tastes…

Citron: That sauce is so red it looks like blood~.

Itaru: ...His role-building is a success in that sense.

[like-a-bag-of-potatoes]

Then and Now - Dear Diary

AN: It's been a while since I’ve written Supernatural, or Dean, but I'm back now with a new Series. Gonna be 10 parts in total with a lot of feels and fluffs. I've been toying with this idea since I started re-watching spn earlier this year (thank you quarantine) and then after reading a series by the amazing @percywinchester27​ I got inspired and started writing. Shout out to my awesome beta @thorne93​, you da bees knees. 

AN2: I'm doing a thing where I raffle off a personalised drabble every month. How do you join? Easy, just hammer that reblog button. Reblog is one entry, reblog with comment is two entries. So you help spread my work and you might get a little sumpthin’ in return. Win Win

Pairing: AUDean x Reader

Warnings: Some grade A second hand embarrassment (it gets a bit awkward, yo!) There's some talk about sex in this. Italics are entries from her diary. 

Wordcount: 2070

CATCH UP HERE

Summary: It's 2010 and you’re back in Lawrence to settle your family’s affairs after your mom passed. You hope to be in and out of town before anyone really knows you’re there, but that doesn't go as plan. Will a certain green eyed mechanic convince you to come back to the life you once had in Lawrence? Or are you going to return to the real world as soon everything is settled. 

Three weeks had passed since that night by the lake, and the farm was back in pristine condition. You had worked tirelessly, day in and day out, with some help from your friends of course. It had been so great to reconnect with them all. Honestly, you were the happiest that you had been in a while. There still was a dull ache in your heart though, one that seemed to strengthen every time you were with Dean. It was hard to be around him, to be his friend when you knew that was all it was ever going to be. And now that there was nothing left to keep your days occupied, that old restless feeling had settled in your bones again. 

This life wasn't meant for you. Not on this farm. Not Dean. Not even your friends. It was an unachievable dream, just out of reach, and it was slowly driving you insane. Hope had ignited in you that night by the lake, maybe, just maybe there was a chance for you and Dean, but nothing had happened since then to tell you that that was the case. So now you were convinced you had put more meaning in his words than was really there. 

Some days you would stop by the pet shop and say hi to Red, which now was something you looked forward to. Donna told you that he had been a lot happier since you started visiting him, and at times he was a real chatterbox now. You would let him on your shoulder and walk around the store while you talked softly to him, treating him some sunflower seeds here and there. Red greeted you with a high pitched hello every time you walked through the doors, and when you left, he would reach his little foot out as if he was trying to stop you from leaving. At times you wondered if he would make a good travel companion. If he could come with you in your truck as you drove around the country, but those thoughts were quickly pushed aside. 

It was another beautiful Saturday morning, music was blasting from your old boombox as you cleared out your closet. It was an old mixed CD that Dean had given you way back when, filled with Metallica, Zeppelin, Skynyrd, and everything else Dean listened to. REO Speedwagon played in the background as you found the stacks of old diaries in the far right corner, hidden under some other junk. A smile played on your lips as you pulled them out, five of them in total, all with different covers around them. 

“This is bound to be awkward,” you mumbled to yourself as you picked them all up and carried them with you down stairs. 

After filling your cup with coffee, you brought it all with you to the front porch to start what would most definitely be an embarrassing trip down memory lane. 

June 1st 1995

Dear diary. 

I had a huge fight with Jo today. We were gonna hang out after my guitar lesson and she just kept houding me to play… IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. I asked her nicely to back off, but she wouldn't leave it alone. Then she said I was just scared of embarrassing myself in front of Dean and I was sooooooo mad at her. Like… I swore her to secrecy when I told her about my crush on him and now… God… I don't think I can ever face him again. 

She's such a BITCH sometimes. 

The word ‘bitch’ was spelled out in big red letters, and you couldn't help but chuckle at your fifteen year old self. Gone were the days when your troubles were this innocent. 

There was no entry for a couple of days, just some doodles of Dean's name over and  over again. 

June 5th 1995

So I made up with Jo. She apologized which I know is, like, super hard for her to do, so we’re good again. She told me Dean has been acting really strange the last few days. Been all quiet and stuff. She said that Benny told her that Cas had told him that Dean asked Cas if he thought I had a crush on him. 

Jo thinks Dean has a crush on me too, but I don't think so. The last girlfriend he had was Lisa Braeden and she's so beautiful. No way I can compete with that. I just need to get over these stupid feelings so things can go back to normal. 

You skimmed through a few more entries, stuff about tests at school and plans for the summer holiday, then some thoughts and ideas for your birthday. It was all very tame. 

But then… 

June 14th 1995

HE KISSED ME!!!! I can't believe Dean actually kissed me… and on my birthday. It was so perfect, and his lips were so soft. It was better than I could ever have imagined. I'm so happy right now I could just scream. He asked me if I would go with him to the lake tomorrow and I literally can't wait. I can't even stop smiling. 

It was the perfect first kiss with the perfect guy. 

Then there was a drawn heart with Dean’s name in it. Without realizing it, your fingers ghosted over your lips as you recalled the kiss. It was a bit frustrating that you hadn't written it down in more detail, but the butterflies that coursed through you told you that you remembered it just fine. 

Time didn't really register as you sat and flipped through the pages of your diaries, so when Dean pulled up, you didn't know how long you had sat there. The coffee had long been forgotten and was now too cold to drink. 

“What's all this?” Dean asked as he plumped down in the empty chair. 

“My old diaries,” you said with a smile. “I found them earlier in my closet. It's so awkward, but I just can't stop reading,” you explained with a chuckle. It was hard to ignore the uproar of butterflies in your stomach at the sight of Dean, but you did your best to push it aside. 

“Lay it on me,” he gently ordered with that cheeky grin of his. 

“You want me to read you my diary?” You asked in bewilderment. 

“Yes!” he exclaimed, laughing. 

“Brace yourself for some grade A second hand embarrassment, Winchester,” you warned and he made a point of getting comfortable in his seat. You opened the book on a random page and started reading. “June 21, 1995. It's been a week since Dean and I kissed for the first time, and I still can't believe he asked me to be his girlfriend. Like, for real-” Dean chuckled and you chanced a look up at him, but he urged you to continue. “I mean, I have never been anyone's girlfriend before so I'm not really good at it I think. Like, can I just hold his hand whenever I want now? Or kiss him? ‘Cuz I want to do that all the time. I just don't want him to feel like I'm too clingy or something like that.” Your cheeks burned with embarrassment. 

Dean just chuckled. “Why didn't you tell me?” 

“About my insecurities?-” he nodded -”I didn't want you to think I was a dweeb,” you said as if it was the most obvious thing. 

“That ship sailed long before that,” he said, erupting into laughter when you stuck your tongue out at him. “If it makes you feel any better, I wanted to hold your hand and kiss you all the time too,” he said in an exaggerated sweet tone. 

“Ha! Wish I knew that back then,” you mused. 

“Go on,” he said eagerly, pointing to the book in your hand. 

With a deep sigh, you opened to another random page. “August 7th, 1995. Dean took me to the lake today to watch the sunset. It was beautiful. We talked about ‘doing it’.” As you read the words out loud you giggled and hid your face behind the book. “Oh my god, Dean… It's so awful,” you whined behind the book. 

Dean found your embarrassment adorable, especially the smile that followed it, and the laughter. Your nose always scrunched up when you were embarrassed and it was nice to see that hadn't changed. “Go on,” he urged. “I wanna know if we ‘did it’.” Although he knew perfectly well that you didn't, not that night. 

“Really?” you asked, peeking up over the book. 

“Hell yeah. I'm invested in this now, don't leave me hanging.” 

“I told Dean I was scared because I hadn't done it before. He said he hadn't either. I was so sure he had done it with Lisa, but apparently that was just a rumor. I want to do it with him, though. I can't think of a better person to lose my ‘V’ card to. He said he would wait for as long as I wanted.” Even as awful as this was, it was very sweet in its innocence. 

“I remember that night,” he said, smiling. It wasn't that cheeky grin from a couple of seconds ago, though, it was the smile one had when recalling a fond memory. “It was a really great night.” 

“It was,” you agreed. It was nice to share this with him, even though it was embarrassing, it was a story that the two of you shared, and it was nice to have this reminder of how good things once were for you. You flipped the pages once more, now looking for a specific entry. “August 12th 1995. Dean and I finally did it. It was at the lake in the bed of my truck, but it was as perfect as could be. He was so gentle with me, and patient. It hurt a lot at first, but Dean went really slow and it got better. There was a little blood afterwards and I was super embarrassed, but he didn't care. I’m so glad Dean was my first, because I don't think anyone else would make me feel so safe. Dean always makes me feel safe.” The words trailed off and you looked up at Dean, the air suddenly thick around you. 

He cleared his throat before he spoke. “Well, there you have it.” 

“Sorry. I didn't know it would turn so… real,” you said quietly, closing the book and placing it on the table. 

“No - it's not - don't.... A lifetime ago, right?” 

“Right,” you agreed. Clearing your throat, you got to your feet and rubbed your clammy hands on your jeans. “Want a beer?” Now, you were eager to change the subject to just about anything else.

Dean looked up at you with apprehension as he accepted the bottle from you. He didn't know how much longer he could hold back his feelings. It was a decision made with his brain rather than his heart, to wait until he was sure you weren't gonna leave again. Every day was a new challenge, and he had to convince himself all over again that this was for the best, even though he desperately wanted you back in his arms. It was so clear to him now, why no relationship he’d had worked out, because no matter who they were or how happy they made him, they were never you. No one could take your place in his heart, not ever. “You know-” he cleared his throat and shifted in his seat, looking anywhere but right at you -”that night meant a lot to me too. And not just because I got laid for the first time,” he said with a chuckle. Typical Dean to add some joke into a serious conversation. “But because it was you.” 

The truth he spoke was clear in his emerald orbs and it damn near melted your heart. “I guess it was pretty great. Especially for two teenagers who were too immature to say the word ‘sex’ out loud,” you mused, a crooked smile on your lips. 

“You know what I think we should do?” Dean asked after a moment of silence. 

“What?” 

“We should grab some beers and head up to the lake to watch the sunset. Bring some blankets and stuff like we used to do, you know?” 

“I would like that very much,” you said earnestly. 

T&N Tags: @stiles-stilinski-24-dylan​ @jerkbitchidjitassbutt​ @capandbuckylvr​ @superapplepie​ @sandlee44​ @eliwinchester99​ @sunflowers-n-rocknroll​

SPNTags: @atc74​ @akshi8278​

AllThingsTags: @campingmonkey​

Want a tag? Send me an ASK

Want the chance to win a personalized drabble? Slam that reblog button, add a comment, and you'll enter the raffle TWICE! 

[thefakejeffreyazoff]

‘He’s our Satan’: Mega music manager Irving Azoff, still feared, still fighting

(x)PEBBLE BEACH, Calif. —  

This is not Irving Azoff’s house. Irving and his wife Shelli own houses all over, from Beverly Hills to Cabo San Lucas, but right now in the last week of October it’s too cold at the ranch in Idaho and too hot at the spread in La Quinta, so he’s renting this place — a modest midcentury six-bedroom that sold for $5 million back in 2016.

From the front door you can see all the way out, to where Arrowhead Point juts like the tail of a comma into the calm afternoon waters of Carmel Bay. More importantly, the house is literally across the street from the Pebble Beach Golf Links, where Azoff likes to play with his college buddy John Baruck, who started out in the music business around the same time Azoff did, in the late ’60s, and just retired after managing Journey through 20 years and two or three lead singers, depending how you count.

(Via LA Times) 

Azoff is 72, and this weekend he’ll be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame alongside Bruce Springsteen’s longtime manager Jon Landau. Beatles manager Brian Epstein and Rolling Stones manager Andrew Loog Oldham are already in, but Azoff and Landau are the first living managers thus honored. Azoff is not only alive — he’s still managing. As a partner in Full Stop Management — alongside Jeffrey Azoff, his oldest son and the third of his four children — he steers the careers of clients like the Eagles, Steely Dan, Bon Jovi and comedian Chelsea Handler, and consults when needed on the business of Harry Styles, Lizzo, John Mayer, Roddy Ricch, Anderson .Paak and Maroon 5. Azoff has Zoom calls at 7, 8 and 9 tomorrow morning, and only after that will he squeeze in a round.

The work never stops when you view the job the way Azoff does, as falling somewhere between consigliere and concierge. “My calls can be everything from ‘My knee buckled, I need a doctor’ to ‘My kid’s in jail,’” Azoff says. “I mean, you have no idea. The ‘My kid’s in jail’ one was a funny one, because the artist then said to me, ‘Y’know, I’ve thought about this. Maybe we should leave him there for a while.’”

Golf entered Azoff’s life the way a lot of things have — via the Eagles, whom Azoff has managed since the early ’70s. Specifically, Azoff took up golf in the company of the late Glenn Frey, the jockiest Eagle, the one the other Eagles used to call “Sportacus.” By the time the Eagles returned to the road in the ’90s they’d left their debauched ’70s lifestyles largely behind, but Azoff and Frey got hooked on the little white ball.

“Frey would insist on booking the tour around where he wanted to play golf,” Azoff says. “We made Henley crazy. Henley would call me in my room and he’d go, ‘Why the f— are we in a hotel in Hilton Head North Carolina and starting a tour in Charlotte? Is this a f— golf tour?’”

Trailed by Larry Solters, the Eagles’ preternaturally dour minister of information, Azoff makes his way down the hill from the house for dinner at the golf club’s restaurant. He’s only 5 feet, 3 inches, a diminutive Sydney Pollack in jeans and a zip-up sweater. In photos from the ’70s — when he was considerably less professorial in comportment, a hipster exec with a spring-loaded middle finger — he sports a beard and a helmet of curly hair and mischievous eyes behind his shades, and looks a little like a Muppet who might scream at Kermit over Dr. Teeth’s appearance fee.

His father was a pharmacist and his mother was a bookkeeper. He grew up in Danville, Ill., booked his first shows in high school to pay for college, dropped out of college to run a small Midwestern concert-booking empire and manage local acts such as folk singer Dan Fogelberg and heartland rock band REO Speedwagon. Los Angeles soon beckoned. He met the Eagles while working for David Geffen and Elliot Roberts’ management company and followed the band out the door when they left the Geffen fold; they became the cornerstone of his empire. “I got my swagger from Glenn Frey and Don Henley,” he says. “No doubt about it.”

Azoff never took to pot or coke. The Eagles lived life in the fast lane; he was the designated driver. “Artists,” he once observed, “like knowing the guy flying the plane is sober.” This didn’t stop him from trashing his share of hotel rooms, frequently with guitarist Joe Walsh — whose solo career Azoff shepherded before Walsh joined the Eagles, and who was very much not sober at this time — as an accomplice.

“This was a different age,” Walsh says of his time as the band’s premier lodging-deconstructionist. “We could do anything we wanted, so we did. And Irving’s role was to keep us out of prison, basically.” He recalls a pleasant evening in Chicago in the company of John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd, which culminated in Walsh laying waste to a suite at the Astor Towers hotel that turned out to be the owner’s private apartment. “We had to check out with a lawyer and a construction foreman,” Walsh remembers. “But Irving took care of it. Without Irving, I’d still be in Chicago.”

Azoff became even more infamous for the pit bull brio he brought to business negotiations on behalf of the Eagles and others, including Stevie Nicks and Boz Scaggs. He didn’t seem to care if people liked him, and his artists loved him for that. Steely Dan co-founder Walter Becker said they’d hired Azoff because he “impressed us with his taste for the jugular … and his bizarre spirit.” Jimmy Buffett’s wife grabbed him outside a show at Madison Square Garden, pushed him into the back of a limo and said, You have to manage Jimmy, although Buffett already had a manager at the time.

His outsized reputation as an advocate not just willing but eager to scorch earth on behalf of his clients became an advertisement for his services, a phenomenon that continues to this day. In August 2018, Azoff’s then-client Travis Scott released “Astroworld,” which debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard 200 chart, and occupied that slot again the following week, causing Nicki Minaj’s album “Queen” to debut at No. 2. On her Beats One show “Queen Radio,” Minaj accused Scott of gaming Billboard’s chart methodology to keep her out of the top slot and singled his manager out by name: “C—sucker of the Day award,” she said, “goes to Irving Azoff.” Azoff says he reacted as only Azoff would: “I said, ‘I’m really unhappy about that. I want to be c—sucker of the year.’” In 2019, Minaj hired Azoff as her new manager.

Most of the best things anyone’s ever said about Azoff are statements a man of less-bizarre spirit would take as an insult. When the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inducted the Eagles in 1998, Don Henley stood onstage and said of Azoff, “He may be Satan, but he’s our Satan.”

An N95-masked Azoff takes a seat on a patio with a view of hallowed ground — the first hole of the Pebble Beach course, a dogleg-right par 4 with a priceless view of the bay. He cheerfully admits that he and his partners at Full Stop are “obviously, as a management business, kind of losing our ass” this year due to COVID-19. In another reality, the Eagles would have played Wembley Stadium in August before heading off to Australia or the Far East. Styles would have just finished 34 dates in the U.S., Canada and Mexico. As it stands Azoff is hearing encouraging things about treatments and vaccines and new testing machines, and is reasonably confident that technology will soon make it possible for certified-COVID-free fans to again enjoy carefree evenings of live music together; he doesn’t expect much to happen in the meantime.

“What are you gonna do,” Azoff says, “take an act that used to sell 15,000 seats and tell them to play to 4,000 in the [same] arena? The vibe would be horrible, and production costs will stay the same.”

He knows of at least six companies trying to monetize new concert-esque experiences — pay-per-view shows from houses and soundstages, drive-in events and so on. But he’s not convinced anybody wants to sit in their parked car to watch a band play. More to the point, he’s not convinced it’s rock ’n’ roll.

“Fallon and Kimmel, all these virtual performances — people are sick of that,” he says. “Your production values from home aren’t that good. And they’re destroying the mystique. I mean, Justin Bieber jumping around on ‘Saturday Night Live’ the other night without a band, and then he had Chance the Rapper come out? It made him look to me, mortal. I didn’t feel any magic. So we’ve kinda been turning that stuff down to just wait it out.”

In the meantime, he says, Full Stop is picking up new clients during the pandemic. Artists with time on their hands, he believes, “have taken a hard look at their careers— so we’ve grown. No revenues,” he adds with a chuckle, “but people are saying, ‘We need you, we need to plan our lives.’”

“IN HIGH SCHOOL,” Jeffrey Azoff says, “I wanted to be a professional golfer, which has obviously eluded me.” He never expected to take up his father’s profession. “But my dad has always loved his job so much. There’s no way that doesn’t rub off on you.”

The younger Azoff got his first industry job at 21, as a “glorified intern” working for Maroon 5’s then-manager Jordan Feldstein. After a week of filing and fetching coffee, he called his father and complained that he was bored. According to Jeffrey, Irving responded, “Listen carefully, because I’m going to say this one time. You have a phone and you have my last name. If you can’t figure it out, you’re not my son.”

“Direct quote,” Jeffrey says. “It’s one of my favorite things he’s ever said to me. And it’s the spirit of the music business, by the way. There are no rules to this. Just figure it out.”

Over dinner I keep asking Irving how he got the temerity, as a kid barely out of college, to plunge into the shark-infested waters of the ‘70s record industry in Los Angeles. He just shrugs.

“I never felt the music business was that competitive,” he says. “It’s just not that f—ing hard. I don’t think there’s that many smart people in our business.”

It’s been written, I say, that once you landed in California and sized up the competition, you called John Baruck back in Illinois and said —

“We can take this town,” Azoff says, finishing the sentence. “Where’d you get that? John told that story to [Apple senior vice president] Eddy Cue on the golf course three days ago. It’s true. I called John up and said, ‘OK, get your ass out here. We can take this town.’”

In the ensuing years, Azoff has occupied nearly every high-level position the music industry has to offer, surfing waves of industry consolidation. He’s been the president of a major label, MCA; the CEO of Ticketmaster; and executive chairman of Live Nation Entertainment, the behemoth formed from Ticketmaster’s merger with Live Nation. In 2013 he and Cablevision Systems Corp. CEO and New York Knicks owner James Dolan formed a partnership, Azoff MSG Entertainment; Azoff ran the Forum in Inglewood for Dolan after MSG purchased it in 2012.

Earlier this year Dolan sold the Forum for $400 million to former Microsoft CEO and Clippers owner Steve Ballmer, who’s since announced plans to build a new stadium on a site just one mile away. Despite the apocalyptic parking scenario that looms for the area — two stadiums and a concert arena on a one-mile stretch of South Prairie Boulevard — Azoff is confident that the Forum will live on as a live-music venue. “People are going, ‘They’re going to tear it down’ — they’re not going to tear it down,” Azoff says. “It’s going to be in great hands. I have many of the artists we represent booked in the Forum, waiting for the restart based on COVID.”

The holdings of the Azoff Co. — formed when Dolan sold his interest in Azoff MSG back to Azoff two years ago — include Full Stop, the performance-rights organization Global Music Rights and the Oak View Group, which is developing arenas in Seattle and Belmont, N.Y., and a 15,000-seat venue on the University of Texas campus in Austin. Azoff describes himself as increasingly focused on “diversification, and building assets for the family that aren’t just dependent on commissions, shall we say.”

But as both a manager and a co-founder of a lobbying group, the Music Artists Coalition, he’s also devoting more time and energy to a broad range of artists’-rights issues, from health insurance to royalty rates to copyright reversion to this year’s Assembly Bill 5, which threatened musicians’ independent-contractor status until it was amended in September. (“That was us,” Azoff says, somewhat grandly. “I got to the governor, the governor signed it — Newsom was great on it.”) He describes his advocacy for artists — even those he doesn’t manage — as a “war on all fronts,” and estimates there are 21 major issues on which “we’ve sort of appointed ourselves as guardians.”

He does not continue to manage artists because he needs the money, he says. (As the singer-songwriter and Azoff client J.D. Souther famously put it, “Irving’s 15% of everybody turned out to be more than everyone’s 85% of themselves.”) Everything he’s doing now — building clout through the Azoff Co., even accepting the Hall of Fame honor — is ultimately about positioning himself to better fight these fights. “I’d rather work on [these things] than anything else,” he says. “But if I didn’t have the power base in the management business, I couldn’t be effective.”

The recorded music industry, having fully transitioned to a digital-first business, is once again making money hand over fist, he points out, but even less of that money is trickling down to artists. That imbalance long predates Big Tech’s involvement in the field, but the failure of music-driven tech companies to properly compensate musicians is clearly the largest burr under Azoff’s saddle.

“These people, when they start out — whether it’s Facebook, Snapchat, TikTok, whatever — they resist paying for music until you go beat the f— out of them. And then of course, none of them pay fair market value and they get away with it. Your company’s worth $30 billion and you can’t spend 20 grand for a song that becomes a phenomenon on your channel? Even when they pay, artists don’t get enough. Writers don’t get enough. Music, as a commodity, is more important than it’s ever been, and more unfairly monetized for the creators. And that’s what creates an opportunity for people like me.”

AZOFF’S FIRM NO longer handles Travis Scott, by the way. “Travis is unmanageable,” Azoff says, nonchalantly and without rancor. “We’re involved in his touring as an advisor to Live Nation, but he’s calling his own shots these days.”

I ask if, in the age of the viral hit and the bedroom producer, he finds himself running into more artists who assume they don’t need a manager. Ehh, Azoff says, like it’s always been that way. “There’s a lot of headstrong artists,” he says. “I haven’t seen one that’s better off without a manager than with,” he says, and laughs a little Dennis the Menace laugh.

We’re back at the house. Azoff takes a seat on the living-room couch; Larry Solters sits across from him, his back to the sea. Azoff recalls another big client. Declines to name him. Says he was never happy, even after Azoff and his people got him everything on his wish list. “He hit me with a couple bad emails. Just really disrespectful s—. I sent him an email back that said, ‘Lucky for me, you need me more than I need you. Goodbye.’”

He will confirm having resigned the accounts of noted divas Mariah Carey and Axl Rose. Reports that he once attempted to manage Kanye West have been greatly exaggerated, he says, although they’ve spoken about business. “Robert [Kardashian] was a good friend of mine. The kids all went to school together,” Azoff says. “What I always said to Kanye was, you’re unmanageable, but we can give you advice.

“A lot of people could have made a dynasty on the people we used to manage,” Azoff says, “let alone the ones we kept.”

But he still works with many artists who joined him in the ’70s — with Henley, with Steely Dan’s Donald Fagen and with Joe Walsh. Walsh has been sober for more than 25 years; it was Azoff, along with Henley and Frey, who talked him into rehab before the Eagles’ 1994 reunion tour. “Irving never passed judgment on me,” Walsh says. “And from that meeting on, he made sure I had what I needed to stay sober.” If he hadn’t, Walsh says, there’s no chance we’d be having this conversation. “All the guys I ran with are dead. Keith Moon’s dead. John Entwistle’s dead. Everybody’s dead, and I’m here. That’s profound to me.”

The first client Azoff lost was Minnie Riperton — in 1979, to breast cancer when she was only 31. Then Warren Zevon, to cancer, in 2003. Fogelberg, to cancer, four years later.

“And then Glenn,” says Azoff, referring to the Eagles co-founder who died in 2016. “I miss Glenn a lot. And now Eddie.”

Van Halen, that is. I ask Azoff if he can tell me a story that sums up what kind of guy Eddie Van Halen was; he tells me a beautiful one, then says he’d prefer not to see it in print. It makes perfect Azoffian sense — profane trash talk on the record, tenderness on background.

I ask if he’s been moved to contemplate his own mortality, as his boomer-aged clients approach an actuarial event horizon. Of course the answer turns out to involve keeping pace with an Eagle.

“Henley and I are having a race,” he says. “Neither one of us has given in. Neither one of us is going to retire.”

Henley was born in July 1947; Azoff came along that December. Does Don plan to keep going, I ask, until the wheels fall off?

“I don’t know,” Azoff says.

Do you ever talk about it?

“Yeah! He’ll call me up and he’ll go, ‘I really feel s— today.’ And I say, ‘Well, you should, Grandpa. You’re an old man. You ready to throw in the towel? Nope? OK.’”

Azoff says, “I contend that what keeps us all young is staying in the business. I’ve had more people tell me, ‘My father, he quit working, and then his health started failing,’ and all that. Every single — I mean, every single rock star I know is basically doing it to try and stay young. And I think it works. I really think it works.

“I have this friend,” Azoff says. “Calls me once a week, he’s sending me tapes, it’s his next big record. Paul Anka! He’s 80 years old. OK? And my other friend, Frankie Valli …”

“Do you know how old Frankie Valli is?” Solters says. “Eighty-six. And he still performs.”

“Not during COVID,” Azoff says. “I told the motherf—, ‘You’re not going out.’”

[cherryblossomflowers]

DDD Week #3

Pairing: AU Dean x Reader

Summary: Dean is having a bad day in school, but YN comforts him.

Warning: Slight cursing, Mega Fluff

A/N: This drabble kinda gives away my next series, but I thought I'd try it out and see what people think. Week 3 of the Dynamic Duo Drabbles! Make sure to check out @mlovesstories​ drabble this week and the previous weeks. We both also have Masterlists for our DDDs. Reader and Dean are both 17 in this AU drabble.

***ASK OPEN***

*LET ME KNOW IF YOU’D LIKE TO BE TAGGED*

Dynamic Duo Drabbles Masterlist

"They keep calling me 'special', but what's so special about me?"

It was late after school, and YN was leaving her honors club meeting later than usual. She was waiting for her boyfriend, Dean, to text her and let her know his baseball practice was over.

Dean would always text YN when he was out of practice and waiting outside the classroom where she had her meeting. Dean would wait as long as he needed to for YN's meeting to end. Then they'd walk hand in hand back to his car, he'd take the long way back to her house just to spend more time together, then drop her off just to talk to her on the phone for the rest of the night.

But this was currently not the case. Dean hadn't messaged her yet and when she locked up the classroom, he wasn't sitting outside of it waiting on her. She got out her phone to call him, but when she tried it went straight to voicemail.

Was he okay? Is there something wrong? Was it something I did? Questions were bouncing all around in YN's head.

Deciding to go look for him, YN starting walking around the empty walls. She looked in classrooms, knocked on bathroom doors, and even went into the gymnasium thinking maybe he would be working out or something.

But Dean was nowhere to be found.

As she passed the auditorium, she saw someone sitting on the stage. She walked inside and suddenly realized it was Dean.

"Dean? Babe, are you okay?" she asked as she walked down the aisle towards the stage.

When she reached the stage, she sat down on the edge next to Dean. Almost as soon as she sat down, Dean laid his head on her shoulder. YN wrapped an arm around his shoulder and hugged him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" YN asked.

Dean took a deep breath and sighed, "I really like baseball. I like hanging out with my friends and I know my dad enjoys it too, but I just don't feel like it's for me anymore."

YN was confused, "So wait, you like it...but you don't?"

Dean's face fell into his hands and he let his head hang, "I don't know."

"Did something happen?" asked YN.

Dean was quiet for a moment before he reached in his pocket and handing his girlfriend a flyer. YN looked it over before looking back at Dean with a confused shake of her head.

"The choir and drama teachers heard me singing in the hallway last week when I was waiting for you. They said I had a ‘beautiful tenor voice’ and ‘should audition for the musical’ they're doing. Auditions were today after school so I skipped baseball practice to come to them. After I auditioned, the teachers came up to me and said I would be in the musical without a doubt just because of my voice and being comfortable on stage."

YN hugged Dean, "Babe, that's great! I told you that your voice was amazing," she paused when she saw the look on his face, "But something tells me you're not that excited."

Dean crossed his arms and looked away from YN, "I am. But I'm afraid of what my coach will say. I don't want to tell him I auditioned and I sure as hell don't want him to know I like singing," he closed his eyes, "I can't even imagine what my dad would think about it."

"Well, did you enjoy being on stage singing today?" asked YN.

Dean smiled, "More than I've ever enjoyed being on that baseball field."

"Then that's how you know, Dean. Maybe singing is your thing, not baseball."

Dean continued to look away from YN for a while. All YN could do was comfort her boyfriend and try to keep him calm. They sat in silence for a bit.

Dean looked up at YN with tears in his eyes, "The choir and drama teachers keep saying the same thing. They keep calling me 'special', but what's so special about me?"

YN kissed Dean's nose, "Well for one, you're Dean Winchester."

Dean rolled his eyes and chuckled, "Come on, be serious."

"I am being serious. You're Dean Winchester. You're kind, loyal, trusting, honest, intelligent, thoughtful, loving, caring, and incredibly handsome to boot. You're very talented on the baseball field as well as on stage. Besides all of that, you're very special to me. We've been best friends since kindergarten, and dating for 3 years. And don't even get me started on your voice. I love when you sing. Whether it be in the shower, while you're driving, or just casually singing at any point. Your voice is very melodic, Dean. Now, tell me," YN kissed his cheek, "what makes you think you're not special?"

Dean shrugged, "I can't argue with your logic, YN. You're right, as always."

YN stood up and held her hand out for Dean, "Why don't I call my parents and tell them I'll be home later tonight. Let's you and I go take a drive. Maybe it'll relax you a bit more."

Dean smiled and took her hand, "I love that idea."

Dean and YN left the school and climbed into Dean's car. Dean drove out of the school parking lot towards an old back road. He rolled the windows down and turned up the radio.

He and YN recognized the song, Can't Fight This Feeling by REO Speedwagon and sang along to it.

In the middle of the chorus, YN turned the volume off and just listened to Dean sing. He was so lost in the song that he never realized the radio was off. When he stopped singing, he blushed and started laughing.

"You just had to do that didn't you?" he said while rubbing his neck nervously.

YN nodded, "Absolutely. Like I said, you're very special. Especially to me."

------------------------------

Masterlist

My Cherry Blossoms

@mlovesstories​ @adorable-minibot​ @chessurkait​

@desiredposion​ @idksupernatural​ @thevelvetseries​ @let-me-luve-you​

@obsessedwithfandomsx​ @mangueweaschester​ @starchildwild​ @deans-baby-momma​ @spnbaby-67​ @unicornmadness2444​

@emery--nicole--morrison​ @spnfamily-j2 @wecantgiggleitsafandom

[ponderingsofastudentteacher]

Developing an understanding of teaching English.

I am really excited to get into classrooms and get about the business of teaching English. Having worked in sport and recreation previously to starting my Grad dip in Secondary Education I already know that I am passionate about working with teenagers and sharing knowledge. I’m also passionate about English as a subject, I’ve described myself many times as a “word nerd”. I think a big drive for many teachers is the desire to pass on the joy that they’ve gained from their subject area.

 There are, however, plenty of things that I am apprehensive about. I recognise that I will be contributing to an institution and a structure that I don’t necessarily have control of. There may be aspects of what is expected of me and required from my teaching practise that I don’t necessarily endorse or agree with. Even just on a school level, I cannot reasonably expect to go in to a school with my ideas and ideals about education and shake the structure up straight away, and in the time I have to tow the line, I hope I don’t get too comfortable. Because English, the area in which I teach, has been used historically in Aotearoa as a tool of compulsory assimilation. I would argue that teaching the English language in schools has probably been one of the primary tools in colonization throughout the British Empire.

 This is the subject that I’m going in to teach.

 With this in mind, I feel its even more important for me to ensure that I’m working to decolonize my teaching practise. I also feel that as an English teacher, I have a duty to advocate for compulsory Te Reo Māori in schools as part of my developing understanding of what a genuine partnership under Te Tiriti might look like. Incorporation of Te Ao Māori and Mātauranga a Iwi into English teaching practise, a language that historically sought to displace Te Reo Māori, is as complicated as it is necessary. I think in a lot of schools, in my experience both as a learner in high school contexts and as a Student teacher on my TE 1, Te Ao Māori is simply tacked on rather than imbedded and engaged with. I feel that this kind of surface level engagement with Te Ao Māori, particularly in the field of English, contributes to the myth of a resolved colonial history. To engage deeply with Te Ao Māori in the English classroom, it should be acknowledged that the subject has been one which has been used to disempower Tangata Whenua historically. That deep acknowledgement needs to precede any kind of change that can be considered genuine in English teaching practise.

 That being said English as a subject, deals with a lot more than just English language teaching. A big part of the joy I derived from the study of English, was the ability it gave me to critically interact with texts I encountered and to develop my own world view relative to those interactions. I was able to interact with people, places and cultures that I would not, outside of the sphere of texts, have had access to in my life and it helped me to better understand myself and others. In this light, English is a brilliant medium into which to incorporate Māori content, concepts and Reo. By choosing texts wisely we can be engaging with texts which involve Te Ao Māori and stimulate discussion and reflection in the students on their positioning and New Zealand’s colonial history (and present).

We have done a lot of work on the relationality of teaching in English. I feel I have had an awareness of the fact that relationships and learning are linked but I am developing a deeper understanding of how this functions in an English teaching environment. I saw lots of teachers in my TE1 placement asking their students to write them letters as the first assignment of the year. Some of them had topics (their ideal holiday, etc) some of them were more open (introduction letters). I am coming to realize that these letters had a deeper function than simply introductions. In order to effectively convey learning to the students the teacher needs to have an understanding of them, these letters help to develop that. The teacher also, needs to have a deep understanding of their own skills so that they can match the needs of the student to a specific area in their skill set. That aspect, I am learning, comes from a reflective teaching practise.

 Another aspect of relationality is social learning. I used to think, that the most significant work done in English classes was done in the realms of silent reading and writing. The reading being the “making meaning” aspect and the writing being “creating meaning”. I am developing the understanding that discussion is equally important. Students, provided with engaging content, will form their own opinions on a text. Sharing those opinions with their peers is an action of creating meaning while listening to the points and counterpoints of their peers is a making meaning activity. People in general, though young adults especially perhaps, tend to get a lot of pleasure from conversation. We are social animals and feel rewarded by cooperation. I saw students on my TE placement who thought they were off topic talking deeply about things like why a character would do “X”. I know I would have been over the moon to have been asked to chat with my friends about what I liked and disliked about a text when I was at school. Putting an activity which includes making and creating meaning, formative assessment and critical reflection within the sphere of an enjoyable chat may well be one of the most effective tools for learning in English. Additionally, it is an opportunity for those students who have deeper understandings to develop them further while also supplying those understandings to students who may require more opportunity to understand.

 While I still have a lot to learn in terms of how to be an effective teacher in the field of English, I do feel that I am developing understanding of why and how, certain pedagogies work and I look forward to continuing to develop these understandings.

[sp00kworm]

April Rain (Chapter 5)

ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN LINK

Ch 1    Ch 2    Ch 3     Ch 4  

Pairing: All Might/Yagi Toshinori x Female Reader

---

The familiarity which Yagi approached the front desk gave you piece of mind. He gave his bright, sunshine smile as he approached and waved a large tanned hand as he stood over the desk, laughing as the owner spat out his tea and proceeded to choke. The girl behind the register cheered.

“ALL MIGHT ALL MIGHT ALL MIGHT!” She danced on the stool before jumping on top of the desk, grabbing for Yagi as he pumped his fist and laughed.

“Hina! Hina, please! Get down before your mother comes in here!” The man pushed his tea aside in favour of grappling his daughter from the counter, holding her under the arms as she continued to cheer wildly.

“Hina?! You better not be letting her on that counter again Reo! I just polished it this morning!”

“No, Akasuki! She’s just excited about our visitor is all!” Reo laughed awkwardly as he held his squirming daughter, scrubbing a hand through his dark hair as his wife opened the screen behind him with a scowl. Her eyes went wide at the sight before her.

“All…Might…” She stuttered before rushing to her feet, red in the face as she wrangled her daughter from her husband’s grip, “I apologise, Mister All Might. She simply adores you and oh gosh…” Hina squirmed again with a cheer.

“Mama! Let me see!” She tugged at her mother’s hair to twist around and get another look at All Might, her eyes bright and wide with glee, “All Might!” She cheered again as Yagi laughed and let her grip his fingers.

 “It’s been a while, Toshinori.” Reo observed with a laugh, “If you’d let me know I could have ordered in things for you in advance! I don’t know if we have many of what you usually buy left in stock.” Reo stood and wiped his hands on the bottom of his apron, tucking his net into the pocket as he pulled up the counter and stepped through before latching it closed behind him.

“Don’t trouble yourself, friend. I’ve brought…some company to help me choose something this time.” Yagi’s face went a little pink as he looked over to you by the door. You’d occupied yourself by looking at terrapin food, not really reading the packet in your hand, you’d just been pretending to look at it while listening in on their conversation. The sudden mention of you made you awkwardly put down the feed and turn to face the family with a smile.

Reo blinked, “You brought your girlfriend?” He asked with a sly smile. His fist met All Might’s shoulder, “I didn’t think you had it in you!” He cheered before laughing at his friend’s bright face.

Yagi brushed off Reo’s jeering before ushering him back behind the counter, reaching into his pocket to tug a photo free. He handed it to Reo’s child with a smile, “Here, Hina, was it? You can put this up in your room.” He offered the signed picture with a smile before moving to take your hand, “Don’t worry about us, Reo. Just…maybe don’t let anyone in?” Yagi asked politely.

“Sure thing, so long as you buy something.” Reo joked before locking the door behind the two of you.

 Yagi sighed when you made it into the shop, the warmth of the tanks making you sigh, blowing air up your face at the heat. It was humid and the tanks were extremely loud, the water bubbling loudly in the stacks upon stacks of rows of tanks, housing tropical fish waiting to be rehomed. The ones in tanks closest swam closer to the glass as you entered, large eyes following you as most shoaled and curved together. Yagi hummed, pulling at his sweater because of the heat as you looked around at the fish in the room. There was all sorts of breeds and different species.

“Which sort did you want for the tank again?” You asked hopelessly as you looked up the walls at the gallons of water and thousands of fish. You stepped over a puddle of water as you gazed at some great cichlids, their bodies a few inches across. They came in all colours and some variants had aggressive labels to allow for those with good natured tanks to avoid them.

Yagi chuckled, “Nothing like those. They are the sort you can only keep with their own species.” He took your hand in his own, the warmth radiating up your arm as the man pulled you past the various sizes of Cichlids, and towards the other species. Tetras in all shapes and colours shoaled as you glanced up at the wall, some thick, some fat some streamlined. Barbs sat in tanks on the next stretch of wall and Yagi smiled as you looked at the pink tinged, gold, Rosy Barbs with adoration. The barbs fluttered, pink gold scales glittering as they swam from end to end and back.

 “Did you see something you like?” The deep timbre of Yagi’s voice next to your ear made you jump, his breath hitting your skin as the giant hero extended back to his full height, stroking his chin as he glanced at the barbs, “Perhaps these?” He pointed at the pairs of electric blue striped Golden Rams. The stripe down the males’ bodies were striking, but they seemed to only enjoy the sluggish current of the small tank, living in pairs and gently bobbing around.

“They’re a little bit boring.” You lamented before looking back at the barbs. Green Tiger Barbs. Their upwards turned mouths plucked naughtily at the plants in their tank, “I still think the barbs are best.”

Yagi laughed, “They have spunk…But maybe the tetras would be best? They’re much easier to socialise depending on what we buy.” He hummed as he turned his bulk in the small corridor and looked at the tetras before pointing to a pretty set with long black fins, “These are pretty.” He commented, a large finger following one of the flowing males. You ignored his comment in favour of walking closer to a group of purple tinged fish. You looked at the tag. Yagi walked behind you with a hum and grinned over your head.

“Bleeding Heart Tetras?” He asked gently, “Are you sure?”

With a grin you nodded, “Look it says they get a little red blotch like a heart, come on that is adorable. You have to get them!” You persisted.

Yagi laughed and gently led you away with a hand at the base of your back, “Let’s get Reo to catch us some.”

 Reo was surprisingly efficient with a net. He caught fifteen of the small tetras quickly and rung up the price on the register as Yagi snatched a new granule feed and flake for the baby fish.

“That’ll be…” Reo clicked in the prices of the food and smiled, “Nine thousand five hundred yen.” He offered, watching Yagi roll his eyes and pull the cash from his wallet. Reo put the money in the register before smiling, “I put some oxygen in the bag to keep ‘em alive for the journey.” He moved back through the counter and unlocked the door, chewing a small wooden toothpick as he moved out of the way of you both.

“Thank you, Reo. I’ll take good care of them.” Yagi promised with a chuckle.

“You ought to with that tank. I set most of it up with the plants for you myself!” Reo scolded him before waving at you, “Make sure you don’t bore her to death with all your fish talk, Yagi. A girl needs a proper date you know!”

Yagi flushed pink as he shut the door to the shop, “I’ll keep it in mind. Bye, Reo!” He shut the door before he could be tackled by Hina again and sighed.

With a smile you linked your hands together again and tapped his chin, making bright blue eyes look down at you once more, “You won’t bore me with fish talk I promise, Yagi.” You teased as he turned his face away and chuckled awkwardly.

 This time he called a private taxi to get the two of you to travel in. Back to his home. The idea made your heart pound. He trusted you enough to allow for you to go to his home. His private home. The place he spent most of his time in outside of his jam-packed schedule. You wondered what it looked like only after being dazzled by the sleek, leather interior of the private hero taxi. Yagi looked out of place in his sweater and jeans against the fancy interior, more suited to the glamour of his hero costume and persona. Still, he made conversation until you reached his home. It was on the outskirts of the city, into the countryside and set back from many neighbours to avoid the press arriving on his door. He probably had a court order for most to remain away in exchange for regular interviews. You wondered how hard it was for him to have true privacy as the car came to a halt. Yagi clambered out first, paying the driver on his phone before offering you a hand to help you out as well. Placing your hand in his, you let him ease you forwards and out of the taxi before you gazed at the gated home before you.

 The place was modest in size, the heavy gates controlled remotely. The hero drew out his keys from his jean’s pocket and clicked a button on one of the keyrings. The gates beeped before trundling open slowly, revealing the home behind them. It was brick and western in design on the outside, but you wondered if the inside would have the screen doors many Japanese people still used.

Yagi smiled and gestured towards his house, “After you.” He ushered you inside before clicking the button again to close to gates, turning to observe them close before he caught up with you. The garden wasn’t large, yet it was looked after with obvious rookie hands. The lawn was mowed, and the flowerbeds recently, roughly weeded. Bright colours of flowers waved in the beds, and Yagi even had a section of bamboo screening a sitting area, shading it from the Spring sun. It wasn’t hot enough yet to sit in the shade, but you thought on how enjoyable it would be when the summer weather did come back around. You smiled at Yagi as he jogged to you by the door.

 “A ‘Plus Ultra’ doormat?” You asked with a laugh as you gently cleaned your feet off on the mat as Yagi took his door key in his hand.

“I get a lot of the merchandise for free in shipments.” He admitted before ushering you inside. The interior was pretty, but standard, decorated not too long ago, but without much of an idea about making it a home in mind. Cream walls and dark wood. Still, it was expensive, real wooden flooring. You admired the décor as you pulled off your shoes and put them by the rack.

“Here, I’ll hang your jacket.” Yagi eased the material off your shoulders, the fish still in his hand as he hung the jacket and pushed on his large slippers. He offered you the guest slippers before stepping up the step and into his house, gently holding the large bag of fish in both his hands, one hand under the bag and the other holding the top.

“Come on in. We need to float these quickly.” He smiled and gestured for you to follow. You followed closely as he walked you into the open plan living space. The fish tank was large, stationed in the back room with floating live plants waving in the current. Yagi smiled as you looked at the tank with a great smile.

“This is amazing, Yagi. Reo did an amazing job setting it up for you.” The hero sighed at you teasing before carefully positioning the bag in the top of the tank, held in place by the lid as you both glanced at the discoloured fish.

 “Will they be okay?” You asked gently as you pressed a finger to the tank, observing the discoloured little tetras. The other fish in the tank gently moved over to poke at the bag curiously before Yagi turned off the lights.

“They will be fine in a little while. I’ll let them into the tank in fifteen minutes and turn the lamps back on tomorrow. Stressed out, maybe, but fine by tomorrow.”  He stood by the tank for a moment, scuffing a slipper over the floor before coming up with an idea, “Well, would you like to stay for a while?” He asked gently.

“Really?”

Yagi choked on his own spit, “Do you not want to stay? If s-so that is fine! I can arrange you a private taxi home!”

“No no no!” You grabbed his fumbling fingers from his phone and shook your head, “I want to stay!” You clutched his hand and pushed his phone back into the front pocket of his sweater before pinching his chin, “What do you want to do?”

Blushing, Yagi gently wrapped his hand around your own before playing with your fingers, “How about we cook dinner together? I have stuff in.” He let your hands go before gesturing, with his thumb over his shoulder, towards his kitchen, the islands open towards the dining room. With a grin you took his hand and tugged him back towards the kitchen, “Lets do it!” You cheered as you rushed to the sink, leaving Yagi by the islands to think on what the both of you could make.

 As you washed your hands, Yagi hummed and tapped his chin, thinking on what you both could make, “What about Gyudon? Beef bowls aren’t too difficult.” He offered with a smile as he walked over to also wash his hands. You moved to the side as Yagi leaned over the tall counter to wash his hands as well.

“Beef bowls sound great!” You offered before walking back to the middle island and pulling Yagi’s chopping board free from its holder among the others. You pulled a knife out as Yagi dried his hands and moved to the large double door fridge. With a heave he plonked a great bundle of fatty beef steaks on the counter and smiled.

“Are we really going to eat all of that?!” You asked in disbelief as you pulled a knife free from the block.

Yagi laughed brightly, “I eat a lot, but you can take some home and I can keep some. Maybe you can take it to work tomorrow for lunch?” He suggested with a soft look in his blue eyes.

You blushed as you sharpened the knife, “Sure. Give me the beef, you big lug.”

“Sure thing, peaches.” He teased gently as he rolled up his sleeves and cut open the packaging.

 Later, Yagi released the fish into the tank with a coo as the beef sizzled in the pan.

 Rice never tasted so good. You pushed a piece of sticky, soy sauce covered beef into your mouth as Yagi laughed at your eating. His own portion was twice the size of your own, yet he ate a little more reservedly as you chowed down on the fruits of your labour.

“I had no idea you could cook so well, Yagi.” You grumbled after your mouthful of rice, onion and sticky sauce. The sake was starting to get to you. Yagi sipped his own cup of the alcohol as he reached the bottom of his bowl and sighed with satisfaction. It didn’t take you long to finish as well.

“Did you enjoy it?” He asked with a chuckle as he finished the last of his drink and took your plates in hand with a satisfied murmur.

“Mhmm.” Your eyelids fluttered as you downed the rest of your alcohol and yawned, “I’m exhausted though.” Smiling sleepily, you opened your eyes when Yagi came back into the room. The yawn was infectious, and Yagi yawned as he returned to the table.

“I think your sleepiness is contagious. How about some television, peach?” Yagi asked as he leaned next to your chair.

“Mhmm.” You whispered again, making grabby hands at him, “I can’t walk there.”

“Come on, peach.” Yagi uttered as he wrapped an arm around you back and hefted your legs with his other, easily pressing you against the strong muscles of his chest as he took you weight and walked you over to his large, cream couch.

 For a moment you shifted, expecting Yagi to plonk you on the large quirk couch in the corner. No such thing happened. With a heave, he held you tighter and sat himself in the corner before kicking his slippers off and pulling his body up on the entire length of the couch. It groaned under his mass of muscle and Yagi smiled down at you, the horns of hair flopping over to tickle your cheeks as he settled into the cushions with another large yawn. You settled against his chest and laughed softly as you crossed your arms and settled your chin against them, humming at the warm arms wrapped around your back, hands pressed to the bottom of your back.

“This is nice.” You cooed up at him before leaning up to kiss the end of his nose, smiling at the blush burning bright on the large hero’s cheeks. You closed your eyes and wrapped yourself tight around Yagi as he reached to turn on the television. An old black and white movie dramatically played quietly in the background.

“Are you comfortable, peach?” He asked, playing with your hair as his hand rubbed at the base of your back, not paying attention to the movie in the slightest. Nodding, you turned your head and rested against his chest, listening to his strong heart thump hard in his chest.

 “Are you nervous, big guy?” You asked with a sleepy smile, humming pleasantly as Yagi continued the soothing motions of his hands over your back. His fingers dipped under your shirt to rub gently, never moving upwards, but just sitting, continuing their calming motion as he yawned again.

“I was…But you’re not as scary as I thought.” He joked as you reached to play with the long strands of his hair, other hand pressed against his pec as you tugged and kissed him. Yagi’s eyes opened before he floundered, fingers clenching before he pushed back gently, eyes closing as he breathed out a long sigh from his nose. You pulled away with a smile as he coughed in embarrassment.

“Thank you for inviting me out Yagi.” You confessed with another soft kiss to his cheek before settling back against his chest.

“You’re welcome, peaches.” He returned your gesture by pulling you up his body, tucking your face close to his neck as he kissed the top of your head and hummed in comfort.

 Neither of you remembered falling asleep as the stars of the movie kissed beneath the Eiffel Tower.

[nerianasims]

Billboard #1s 1981

Under the cut.

Blondie -- "The Tide Is High" - January 31, 1981

I have problems trying to figure out what to say about Blondie. This song is reggae-ish, as it's a cover of a 1967 rocksteady song. The song itself is really good, and Blondie do interesting things with it without changing it much or being disrespectful. Of course, it has a lot more icy determination and a lot less vulnerability than the original, because Debbie Harry. It's enjoyable, but now that I've heard the original, I prefer that one. Nothing against Debbie Harry, but I usually prefer more warmth in music, especially when it comes to love songs.

Kool & The Gang -- "Celebration" -- February 7, 1981

I've heard this song way too much, and it's not a song that particularly rewards hundreds of listens. It's a good party song and all, but I'm never going to listen to it again if I have a choice.

Dolly Parton -- "Nine to Five" -- February 21, 1981

Having a steady 9 to 5 job that makes you a living sounds like a dream in the gig economy. But it did suck. They had no idea how much worse things would get, though. It's still a rich man's game, and you spend your life putting money in his wallet. As it's been since Babylon at least. This is a really good song, and the music is upbeat, and Dolly Parton is a world treasure, but my current 2020 mood means it depresses me too.

Eddie Rabbitt -- "I Love A Rainy Night" -- February 28, 1981

I'm trying to remember all the songs about rain I can. There's "Here Comes the Rain Again", "Purple Rain", "November Rain", "It's Raining Men", "Have You Ever Seen the Rain", "Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head", "Rainy Days and Mondays", "Set Fire to the Rain" -- they're always about something else. Rain sets the stage, or it's a metaphor. This song is more like "Laughter in the Rain," which is simply about enjoying walking in the rain with someone you love and nothing more. But this is even less than that. He loves a rainy night. That's it and all and entire. And he is going to tell you he loves a rainy night 24 times. I counted. There's no musical variation either. That's the bulk of the song. Other than that, he loves lightning and thunder. It's no wonder I'd never heard this song before, because it is deadly dull.

REO Speedwagon -- "Keep On Loving You" -- March 21, 1981

It was the thing to denigrate 80s power ballads when I was a teenager because we'd had more than enough of them as children, thank you very much. We'd had more than enough of the 80s generally (they sucked, actually, no matter what those day-glo colors tell you. Reagan was an atrocity.) But power ballads didn't deserve the ire, and so they've been embraced again. This is one of the classics. It's about the narrator -- and the singer Kevin Cronan, in reality -- forgiving his wife for cheating on him. I didn't know that until now, because I never really listened to the song. It's far from my favorite power ballad, as how hard Kevin Cronan hits the consonants bugs me. Yeah, I'm from Michigan, I say "r"s like a pirate too, but not to that extreme.

Blondie -- "Rapture" -- March 28, 1981

Debbie Harry sort of raps on this. I dunno, I'm too distracted by the lyrics. The singing part makes sense, as it's about dancing causing rapture. But then the rap (?) part starts. "And you drive all night and then you see a light/ And it comes right down and lands on the ground/ And out comes a man from Mars/ And you try to run but he's got a gun/ And he shoots you dead and he eats your head/ And then you're in the man from Mars/ You go out at night, eatin' cars." It goes on like that. They're some of the weirdest lyrics I've ever seen, and I was a teenager in the Beck "Loser" era. They're probably supposed to just be weird, but... what? That's my opinion on this song.

Daryl Hall and John Oates -- "Kiss On My List" -- April 11, 1981

This is another 80s song I've heard a ton but never really listened to the lyrics. It is a love song, but I'm not quite sure what the narrator's getting at. "If you want to know/ What the reason is I'll only smile when I lie/ Then I'll tell you why." He says it's because your kiss is on his list, and he misses it when he turns out the light. He also seems to be hiding you from his friends. Is he cheating with you? Or maybe he's not with you but wants to be? I don't know, and I'm putting too much thought into what's really a slight but enjoyable pop song.

Sheena Easton -- "Morning Train (Nine to Five)" -- May 2, 1981

What a boring, repetitive beat. This is the opposite of Dolly Parton's "Nine to Five." The narrator in this one stays home while her husband goes to work on the morning train. The whole day, all she does is sit around thinking about him. Nothing else at all. I've nothing against one partner staying at home while the other goes out to work -- I'd be a hypocrite if so, because that's what I do. But I do have something against pretending any woman's brain is so utterly empty that literally all she can think about is her husband. She's not even trying to make a nice home or anything. She apparently just sits around obsessing over her husband. Maybe they've been married for two days, but even so. Also Sheena Easton doesn't hit the high notes she goes for, so that was an unpleasant nails on a chalkboard surprise. Terrible song.

Kim Carnes -- "Bette Davis Eyes" -- May 16, 1981

I love Bette Davis. I do not like this song. In fact, I hate this song. It's Kim Carnes' voice. She sounds like she's been smoking 3 cigars a day for 40 years. Worse, the way she chooses to sing is completely off the rails. She sounds like a cartoon character. I like Jackie DeShannon's original. I can't stand this version.

Stars on 45 -- "Stars on 45" -- June 20, 1981

Baby Boomer nostalgia is the most powerful force in the universe. Which doesn't mean all, or most, baby boomers are drowning in nostalgia, but the ones who are (like my father) are sure a profitable demographic. This "song" is a medley of a bunch of hits to make them go "I recognized it so I clapped." Incredibly bad.

Air Supply -- "The One That You Love" -- July 25, 1981

It's an almost power ballad song that sounds vaguely Broadway-ish, or would if Russell Hitchcock were a good singer. He's about as good a singer as me, except with a weaker voice. That is not good. He doesn't give me a headache or anything, and he does manage to hit the notes right (barely) and to put emotion into his voice, but the guys who sang the leads in our musicals in high school were better. Anyway, he's trying to get his lover not to break up with him, insisting over and over that he's "the one that you love." The lyrics aren't exactly great, but they're not horrible either. But this guy does not have a strong enough voice for power ballads. Yet again, I am wondering what Barry Manilow would have done with this.

Rick Springfield -- "Jessie's Girl" -- August 1, 1981

I remember people going kinda nuts for "Jessie's Girl" some years back, and being like... really? It's fine, but nothing special. He can't even seem to remember the name of the girl he wants. I dunno, whatever, I have no real problems with it, and it does have a nice beat, but it comes and goes without making an impression on me.

Diana Ross & Lionel Richie -- "Endless Love" -- August 15, 1981

Drowning in glop, send help.

Christopher Cross -- "Arthur's Theme (Best That You Can Do)" -- October 17, 1981

The movie Arthur is rom-com about a man who was born rich, has never grown up, has never faced any consequences, and treats women like garbage. Fuck aaaalllll the way off. We have reason to be particularly intolerant of this stuff nowadays, and we never should have tolerated it. Romance novelists are smart enough to give their rich heroes some trauma in their pasts, and nowadays the heroes rarely treat women badly either (Christian Grey being an exception. And even he at least has a tortured soul.) The song basically lays out the main character's personality, or lack thereof. There is the neat line, "When you get caught between the moon and New York City." And I woke up with that line -- and nothing else from the song -- in my head, so I can understand why it became a hit. But if I want a movie about the moon and New York City, I'll take Moonstruck.

Daryl Hall & John Oates -- "Private Eyes" -- November 7, 1981

This sounds like Scientology's theme song. Except the "private eyes" are metaphorical. He means he can tell you're hurting even when you try to hide it. "Why you try to put up a front for me/ I'm a spy but on your side, you see." Still, boundaries dude. It's musically fun enough, but the lyrics... eh...

Olivia Newton-John -- "Physical" -- November 21, 1981

This is an aerobics song. Technically it's supposed to be about sex, but Newton-John's in aerobics gear on the single cover, the music video is at a gym, and the beat is for exercising to. Not even dancing. It's not seductive in the slightest. Aerobics in the 80s led to a lot of hip replacements in the 00s. As a song, all I hear is background music for a workout, so... yeah, not interested.

BEST OF 1981 -- "Nine to Five" by Dolly Parton. WORST OF 1981 -- "Stars on 45" by Stars on 45

[reddielibrary]

The Dream During Halloween

Written by @heknewwellenough

Gift for @reddieforlove

Pairing: Richie Tozier x Eddie Kaspbrak

Word count: 3852

Rating: Teen

A/N: HAPPY HALLOWEEN BRI!!! i hope you enjoy this, and that it’s what you had in mind!!! mwah mwah

Richie doesn’t really believe in God, well, at least not to a certain extent. Okay, scratch that. He believes in something, he’s just not sure if it’s a God or a superior entity or some stupid shit like that. 

What he does believe though, at this exact moment, is that angels are real, and he just witnessed the king of the angels. Maybe that means the god of the angels or whatever, but he doesn’t exactly care about the correct terminology because he’s pretty sure this boy is a real life angel.

REO Speedwagon’s I Can’t Fight This Feeling is thrumming lowly through the speakers by the fireplace, and Richie really needs to find Bill to congratulate him on his music taste. I'm keeping you in sight is right, Richie muses indistinctly. 

“Rich.” He hears from his left, moving limply as he’s shouldered softly. 

“Yeah?” He mutters, keeping his eyes tracked on the boy across the room. He’s sitting by himself on the couch, painted light blue hands gripping a red solo cup weakly, lifting every once in awhile to drink. 

Bev shoves him a little harder, and Richie finally tears his eyes away from the angel on the couch. “Come on man, you’re being creepy. Stop staring at that poor kid. And you haven’t even seen his full face; his mask is covering part of it.”  

“Yeah, no shit Bev. You’d be surprised with what I can make do with having only half a face,” he says, his brows doing a little dance as he grins down at her. “Also,” he continues, reaching towards her headband, “can you start warning me when you want to talk to me? I’m not used to— this—“ he gestures to the dark hair curling right above her shoulders, making a grab at it, but Bev shoots his hand away from where it’s getting dangerously close to her headband. “I always think you’re someone creeping on me.”

Beverly grabs a black curl resting right above her shoulder, almost absentmindedly, and tugs on it loosely. She’s dressed as Snow White, and had dyed her hair with Richie’s own help two days ago. He’s still not used to it though, and it struck him this morning while doing his own hair how much they look like siblings now. 

“I can barely understand you,” she lifts her own solo cup to her mouth, taking a sip of what is presumably something non-alcoholic. “Take that stupid mask off and face me like a woman. Or go talk to the guy on the couch.”

Richie wriggles uncomfortably. God does he want to go talk to the boy with probably the best Halloween costume here. Better than Princess Diana and Prince Charles he’s here with, for sure. But he’s nervous. He only came to terms with this whole I-want-to-kiss-boys-like-a-lot-thing only recently, and even then he hasn’t even come to terms with it super well. The only reason Bev knows is because she’s Bev. His ride or die, his best friend, his platonic life partner, yadda yadda yadda. Same deal with Stan. He knows stuff about them that he’ll take to the grave, and vice versa. 

“I like the mask. It’s gives an air of… sexy mystery.” Richie slouches against the wall, turning away from Bev. His eyes make their way to the boy across the room, trying to pretend he’s not staring. He knows he’s not doing an entirely good job, but he thinks he has the right to stare when someone’s costume looks like that on them. 

“Not really— definitely not sexy. It’s kind of creepy. I can’t really tell where you’re looking at.” Stan remarks, saddling up next to them. He leans against the wall too, bumping his shoulder against Richie’s. His fancy blue prince pants look funny next to Richie’s black and white pinstripe pants.

“He’s looking over there— at zombie boy.“ Bev nods towards the couch across the room. “Where were you?” She adds, leaning to look over Richie towards Stan. 

Richie turns to Beverly, staring down at her sable head, astonished. “Do not just tell me you called him a zombie—”

“Getting water,” Stan says, lifting up the water bottle in his hands to show her, promptly cutting Richie off. Probably to save himself of a stupid argument. “Why don’t you go talk to him, Rich?” He suggests, loud enough to be heard over the music but not enough for the people around them to hear. He reaches over to Richie’s face and lifts his mask to sit on top of his head. 

Richie shakes his head vigorously, his mask flopping over and onto his face again. “Fuck no, Fresh Prince of Derry. I’ll just stare at Himeros for now.” 

Beverly snickers, but Stan looks at him, probably judging him. Richie sees his brows draw in the middle, and it sounds like he’s smiling when he says, “wouldn’t he be Anteros—?”

The sound of a shriek makes its way to Richie’s ears, and he gets the inkling that it’s probably a little more important than some girl getting teased or tickled or whatever the fuck off in the corner. He’s right, because when he looks over, Anteros is laughing at something Bill Denbrough is saying to him. “Oh my God. Did you guys hear that?”

“No? What?” Stan says, looking around, intrigued. “What is it, Richie?” 

“I think I just heard an angel sing.” Richie sighs dreamily, slumping against the wall even further. 

“Actually, I think you mean a god sing—“

“Oh, just go talk to the guy!” Bev gestures to the boy on the couch with her drink, some of it sloshing out of the cup and onto the floor, splashing Richie’s chucks lightly. 

“And it’s not sing, dingus. It’s laugh. Maybe he shouldn’t go talk to him,” Stan continues, “he’ll embarrass himself.” 

“I don’t have to listen to this abuse,” pushing himself off the wall, Richie turns to the royalty behind him. “I’m going to get another drink! Is there anything your highnesses would enjoy from the area of feeding?” He pretends to bow, and snickers when he hears Stan mutter no, thank you, asshat.

Bev does what Richie could only describe as a soft karate chop on each shoulder— the name escapes him— and she giggles also. “I’d like an orange juice.”

“Even though I just suffered some verbal abuse from you not even five minutes ago—“ he calls, walking away, “I will get you your juice of orange. With bubbly water, you freak!” He calls, finishing her sentence before she even begins to start talking. 

“Fucking— bubbly water. Fucking disgusting,” he mutters, walking up to the makeshift bar in the kitchen. 

“Hey, man.” He nods to Mike Hanlon in the kitchen, smiling. He always liked Mike. And Bill, too, when he had been on the lacrosse team last year. The rest of the team fucking sucked— and so did the sport in general, if he’s being honest. He can’t count how many hallelujahs he said the last day of practice.

Mike tilts his head, squinting at him. He raises his hand in a slow, confused wave. 

“Oh,” Richie laughs, pulling his mask up and over his head. “Sorry, man.”

“Oh!” Mike chuckles, walking up next to him. He bades goodbye to the girl next to him, sliding up next to Richie and leaning against the counter. “I thought it was you, Rich. You know— cause of the hair—“ he gestures to the mess of curls on Richie’s head, “— but it looked shorter so I wasn’t sure. Also, your neck is super white.”

“You mean whiter than usual?” Richie cracks, mixing Bev’s monstrosity of a drink. 

Mike gasps out a surprised laugh.“Yeah. Okay, whiter than usual.” 

Not quite what he was expecting, a similar laugh makes its way out of his throat. “I got a sexy haircut, dude, that’s why you didn’t recognize me in my sexy costume.” He says, still chuckling. He punctuates his sentence with a pop of his hip, grinning over at Mike briefly before turning back to the mouth-sore in front of him. 

“Speaking of, I like your costume. That movie’s pretty cool.” 

“I know, but do you know how many oh, are you Beetlejuice’s? I’ve gotten tonight? You think the mask would be a dead giveaway. Or that Bill wouldn’t have invited such dumb fucking people to his party.” Richie rolls his eyes, smiling at Mike’s nice rumble of a laugh. “I mean— I knew half the lacrosse team had zero brain cells, but you'd think at least some of the art kids would be smart. This movie only came out a year ago.” He scoffs. He grabs a half-filled Coke bottle in front of him and the Fanta next to it, pouring them into a solo cup, stirring them together with a straw. He lifts the cup to his mouth and takes a sip, turning fully to look at Mike, from feet to the top of his head. “What’re you supposed to be, anyway? Wait— no! Let me guess, let me guess.”

Mike shrugs, gesturing at him with his own solo cup as if to say alright man, go ahead. 

Mike has got on a yellow blazer, a red scarf around his neck, and a toque. Richie has literally no idea what he is. 

“No-fence man, but what the fuck are you? I’m trying to come up with something funny but I’m coming up short.”  

Mike laughs, like he’d been expecting that, and says, “I’m one of the boys from the Rice Krispies box. You know? It’s a group costume, with Bill and Ben.”

Richie nods. He knows Ben; he’s in his Humanities class and was in his SAT prep class last year, and he thinks Friends is funny, but never mind that little drawback, because he’s also probably the nicest fucking person Richie has ever met. He’s been meaning to ask him to hang out or something, but it’s not quite something he’s gotten around to yet, for whatever reason. In short, he’s just cool, and he makes Richie feel good. Same deal with Bill, and Mike. He smiles. “I was wondering what the fuck Bill was. I thought he was the little Nutcracker boy.” 

Mike bursts out laughing, slapping Richie on the arm. “I can’t wait to tell him that,” he mutters, small hiccups escaping his lips as he continues to chuckle, “he’ll love that—“

“Hi, Mike. Can I get by?” A soft voice says behind Richie. Both him and Mike turn around concurrently, and Richie chokes on the drink he unluckily lifted to his lips only a moment before, because there he is. The Himeros. Or Anteros. Whatever it is, or was, Richie can’t focus, or remember. He feels as if his brain has melted straight out of his ears and onto the floor, or into his drink, or something. He has no idea. None of it really matters right now, anyway. 

Mike says something that Richie tunes out accidentally, and he slides easily out of the way. They start talking, but Richie has no idea what they’re saying. The thoughts in his own head drown out their talk, and the loud talking all around him, and the sound of the opening chords of Witchy Woman starting up, all to a dull murmur as he stares at the back of the boy’s head. He feels like he should be listening to what him and Mike are talking about— to maybe pick up on a few things or something— but he’s too far gone now, his thoughts wrapping around his mind like a telephone cord around a finger. 

Richie cannot understand for the life of him why he has never seen this boy around. He’s a fucking senior this year, for Chrissake, and their school isn’t even that big like one of those schools up in Portland or Bangor. About six or seven hundo kids, give or take. And it’s not like he’s an observant person. He typically likes to think of himself as pretty observant, actually, and there’s not a chance in hell this kid would not catch his attention. He hasn’t even had the honor of having this kid’s face grace his shitty vision, but he already knows it’s going to be an appealing face.

“—Richie?” 

“Huh?” Richie’s head snaps up from where he was staring at Himeros’ feet toward whoever said his name.

It was Mike, and he’s smiling crookedly, like he’s waiting for Richie to answer. “See you later, Rich?” He says, and Richie figures he’s repeating it by the way he’s smiling and the tone of his voice.

“Oh. Yeah, see ya later, Snap.” He nods, a grin splitting his face as Mike returns it, turning to leave.

And then it’s just him and the angel, he realises a few seconds after Mike’s trodden off to go talk to Ben in the corner of the kitchen. It’s quiet, and it’s funny because everyone around them is talking, and Richie has always hated quiet. He opens his mouth to say something, pretty much anything that comes to his head first, but the boy beats him to it. And it’s perfect for two reasons. 

“Hey, Bone Daddy,” the boy says to him softly— like, to him, directly— and he kind of smiles, laughing to himself.

It’s perfect because Richie had absolutely no idea what he was going to say, so pretty much anything could have run out of his mouth, which doesn’t always fly so well depending on who he’s talking to. That greeting knocks the wind out of him though, promptly knocking whatever embarrassing thing Richie could have said out of his mind, too, which he’s entirely grateful for. 

It’s also perfect because by the minute he’s being proven right about this boy being an angel. 

“Get it? It’s from the movie.” Himeros continues, almost uncertainly. Richie wishes he could see his face— the mask is partially in the way, and he’s ducked over his own drink that he’s making. 

“Yeah, I get it,” he says in a rush, voice cracking. He takes a deep breath, continuing, “I’ve seen it like a billion times, so.” He trails off. “It’s my favorite,” he adds after a moment. The word fuck bounces around his head, feeling like he’s embarrassing himself or being especially awkward.

“Mine too.” The boy responds, turning to smile at Richie briefly. “When I chose my costume, I thought it was weird not having a Jack to go with, but Bill told me it looked fine.” 

“It does!” Richie blurts, and okay, yeah, he doesn’t exactly have a filter, but there are times when he thinks maybe he should work on that. Like right now. “I mean— it does. Look fine. I mean— I went as Jack without a Sally, and it’s not weird, right? So a Sally without Jack is not weird.” He’s rambling, and the boy is giggling, and most of the anxiety drains from his body because this— laughter, making people laugh— this is easy. Laughing makes him easy. The tension drains from his shoulders, from his brows, the anxiety flooding his body evaporates as he continues, a smile spreading across his face as he says, “your costume is definitely the sexiest one here. Excluding the cheeseburger playing beer pong, of course.” 

Richie watches as a flush coats the boy’s blue cheeks, and it’s probably the most endearing thing he’s ever seen. “Of course. Naturally.” He agrees, nodding along with Richie. He’s finished making his drink, and he turns to lean against the counter to face Richie. “And we— well we found each other, so now there’s no lonely Jack and Sally.” The boy says, and he smiles again. He sounds kind of nervous, and it further confirms Richie’s idea that yeah, this boy is his dream boy. 

Richie grins down at him, and the brief thought of how short this boy is crosses his mind. He finally takes in the boy’s full appearance now that he’s standing right in front of him, face and all. Everything about him just screams cute to Richie, from the sewn patches all over his pants and shirt, to the black boots he’s wearing. Richie notices that his hair is spray-dyed a vivid red, and it’s done really well. He probably went through at least two bottles, Richie muses. His drawn on stitched smile is curved up even more so than it already is due to the boy’s smile, and it makes Richie smile. 

The boy is looking him up and down—checking me out, Richie thinks nervously, Gee-zus— just like Richie was a second ago. The boy can’t see his face— when did I put on my mask again?— and that is both a shame and a blessing. 

“Do you— um—” the boy starts nervously, looking down into his cup and then back up again, “do you want to go up to Bill’s room, or something? To talk more? I feel cramped in here.”

Richie nods, and then realizes it might look like he’s saying no because of the mask, so he clarifies verbally with a loud, “yes! Let’s go. Do that. Lead the way, Sally.”

Himeros-Sally laughs, shaking his head, and leads the way out of the kitchen and up the stairs right outside of the kitchen. Richie follows, not seeing Stan or Bev anywhere. He mentally thanks whatever deity out there is throwing him a bone, and climbs the stairs two at a time, lifting his mask as he reaches the top step. 

“So,” the boy starts, leaning against the door once it closes. He sounds nervous again, and it drives a lot of the remaining anxiety Richie is feeling out of his chest. “Can I um— can I do something?” He shakes his head, looking down at the floor and frowning at his feet. “Sorry. That came out wrong. Can I try something, I mean.” 

“Like— like what? Like smelling Bill’s underwear, or looking for his porn mags? Because I bet they smell like—“ 

“Shut up,” the boy says, and it’s not very serious, as he makes his way slowly to Richie, who’s standing in the middle of the room, feeling silly all of a sudden. He places his hands on Richie’s shoulders, and does this thing that Richie really likes where he smooths them over the expanse of his shoulder softly. He rises up on his toes and his face suddenly becomes a lot closer to Richie’s. From behind his mask and through the peepholes, his eyes are telling Richie that he can tell him to stop. Richie does not tell him to stop.

And then suddenly there are soft lips on his. Uncertain, but not unstable. Richie’s eyes are open the whole time, and now he definitely feels like a fool. 

The boy leans back slightly, and one of his hands comes up to take off his mask. He tosses it onto Bill’s bed, and then makes eye contact with Richie again, and Gee-zus, this boy is the definition of cute. He’s the end-all-be-all of cute boys. Freckles smattering his nose and cheeks. Crinkles next to his eyes from smiling at the moment. Long, pretty lashes. Thick, bushy brows.

 “I don’t know your name,” is what he says after a few moments of just staring at Richie, also. 

“Richie. It’s Richie.” Richie breathes out, “and yours—“

“It’s Eddie.” He says softly. 

“Well, Eddie-Spaghetti. I thought you just wanted to talk?”

The boy— Eddie— frowns for the first time tonight. “That’s not my name,” Eddie argues. His frown is almost as cute as his smile. 

“Not anymore. It’s Eddie-Spaghetti. Or if you don’t like that, I can call you Spaghedward. And if you’re not into pasta at all, Eds can work.” Richie rambles, and then Eddie is pressing his lips to Richie’s again. 

“I guess I didn’t come up here to talk. You sure did though,” Eddie retorts when he leans back again, and Richie can feel him smiling, and that is something he’s definitely into. 

Richie’s eyes are closed this time as he replies with a breathless laugh. “Where have you been all of my life?” 

“Here and there,” he responds vaguely. It’s very obviously a joke, and Richie can’t help but laugh again. After he stops chuckling, Eddie answers honestly, telling him that he’s just quiet, and points out that they obviously have had very different schedules.

They end up laying down on Bill’s bed on their sides while Eddie talks, Richie’s mask thrown up by Bill’s pillow next to Eddie’s. Richie realizes Eddie’s probably as much of a talker as Richie is himself as he rambles on about the organization of classes. “I guess the people who organize classes just hate us. You know, since we seem to have never shared a class together. You’re not taking any AP classes, right?”

Richie shakes his head. “No.” 

Eddie frowns, “me neither,” he mumbles, biting his lip. “I don’t get why we’re not in any of the same regular classes, then.”

What he says goes in one ear and out the other. Eddie’s bitten lips have captured his full attention, and he wants to kiss them. Bad. So he leans over quickly and does.

Eddie splutters, seemingly caught by surprise, blush coating his blue cheeks again. “I— um— oh. Okay.”

“Sorry,” Richie hastens to say, shaking his head again, glasses getting pushed against his face and his hands under his head feeling uncomfortable. “I didn’t know if—“

“No! It’s fine,” Eddie shakes his head too, soft smile reappearing on his face. “It’s fine,” he repeats, softer this time. “I probably should have asked first, anyway. So I’m sorry.”

Richie scoffs, dramatic. “It’s fine. You’re fine. You did kinda ask, anyway. Besides, I wanted those cute lips on me, anyways,” Richie grins, laughing at Eddie’s bashful smile and the roll of his eyes. 

When Eddie doesn’t say anything for a few moments, Richie fears he made it awkward, but then Eddie looks into his eyes and cracks a smile, a laugh escaping his mouth. He starts to laugh even more, and then Richie starts to laugh, and then suddenly they’re laughing together on Bill’s bed in their Nightmare Before Christmas Halloween costumes at nothing. This is the best Richie has felt in a long time. He feels as if he’s known Eddie for years, and not just for two hours. 

Eddie wipes away a few tears from his eyes, rolling onto his back and staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars Bill has on his ceiling. “I’m glad I met you,” he says softly, in the Eddie-way he does that Richie is grown accustomed to in the past couple of hours. 

“Same here, Eds.” Richie whispers back. 

Eddie’s hand reaches over and threads through the hand Richie has resting by his face. Still on his side, and staring at Eddie’s face poised up to the ceiling with his eyes closed, Richie can’t help but think for the hundredth time that night yeah, definitely an angel. 

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Teamwork makes the dream work fr!! Always happy to throw out some ideas o7

LMAOO yeah idk I think there was a lot of missed potential with the galaxy dragons (also the required island habitat thing kinda pissed me off but wtv I guess)

Truly nothing is happening each chapter….speaking of it feels like it’s been forever since the last one?? Or maybe my perception of time is just awful LMAO but dude this is like my dream I used to cheer for fics that were above 1k hit the jackpot FR i can’t wait to unravel the layers!!!

It truly is just the fanon brainwashing echo chamber…it’s kinda crazy how often this happens in like every fandom but I guess not completely unexpected…

WILL DEFINITELY RETURN FOR COMMENTARY idk how im gonna do this ill probably binge it all and leave like a mega commentary ask LMAOO or maybe ill split it up by section?? Im inclined to do just one big one but at the same time I don’t wanna like forget my thoughts as I read or maybe I’ll actually follow through annotation live reaction style LMAOA (also autocorrect is NOT my bestie it’s so inconsistent in capitalizing and fixing my punctuation so if anything looks goofy in my writing that’s also why like I’ll leave these here as an example by why are half my “I’ll”s properly punctuated and half not???)

YOURE SO RIGHT Karasu #1 truly…he’s THE MAN

FR like now im like wait so which is it like is he secretly a bully or…/j hoping the light novel gives more insight…but YEAH I think if he had like a fwtkac y/n he’d probably just brush off her insults and banter respond maturely I can’t really see him participating in that sort of banter…I feel like yuki’s probably one of the ones I’d say friends to lovers fits well with..? Or some type of strangers to lovers but specifically in like a form of pining from a distance maybe (since he likes ethereal things idk, also I never understood what that meant in terms of his “fetish”??? First of all kinda random fact to throw in but also how….? I can’t tell if I’m being crazy or not but)

LMAOO i remember watching it a long time ago and it was definitely entertaining HAHAH but TAKE A HINT IS SOOOO ICONIC!! I love it sm have the lyrics literally memorized and it’s so perfect for karaoke too LOL but YESS ADDED TO THE LIST o7 honestly im just excited for whatever you throw out next it could honestly even be a fic for shidou and id read it too there’s just no misses on account >>> ok but seriously now im super hyped for the best friends brother idea too so much potential!!! And honestly we probably read the same fics with otoyas younger sister (since the tag is so barren </3) I’ve also definitely seen a fair share of Reo’s younger sister dating nagi!! We love mold deviations >>> but I’ll admit some of the chatacter’s sister works I’ve read were pretty entertaining when done well!

I somehow read that wrong at first and thought it said that YOU shyed away from female characters and I was like….are you sure about that?? LMAOAO but FR I’ve definitely noticed that too….especially in other fandoms the only time I’ve seen another female character is usually when she’s acting like a plot device villain to create some drama or something and I’m like oh…. THE CENSORING LMAOO I’m gonna admit the plot device villain women side characters was definitely most prevalent on said website LMFAO I think specifically in using them as a tool for like jealousy or cheating or wtv I remember reading some and I was like oh. Ok then. Closed the tab and didn’t look back because sometimes it doesn’t make sense either like you can tell they’re really just there to be used in your typical jealousy trope

Also the gymnastics my brain did for no reason reading brothers best friend and best friends brother LMAOAO I got it now though so all good

I definitely think that it makes sense who has siblings and who doesn’t! Like it fs fits their characters but I remember flipping through the Bible and being like “man I wish there were more content in yours/aka family crumbs” LMAO ok Kunigami is definitely a rare breed of middle child…like the ideal middle child LMAO his sister raised him right (before wild card eek) to this day I still don’t know what I imagined otoya to be it is NOT middle child though…I guess the closest would be youngest sibling maybe?? I was kinda surprised he was sandwiched between two sisters though (especially since he’s a cheater but we’ve already had this convo HAHA) LMFAOO PARTICULAR BRAND OF SHITHEAD that’s so real I think I also partially felt that just because he was on the older side of BLLK? But I can definitely say he’s the younger bro who probably gets bossed around lightly by his older sister but has enough respect for her to let her do so and just goes with what she asks(I can imagine her sending him on like errands or asking for favors like pick up some tea on the way home or pick up this lipgloss for me) LMAO

I’m laughing so hard yeah if I spawned shidou into the world I would be done after one too LMFOAOA

Ok off to read pomegranate ink!! Get ready for a lot of commentary LOL

-Karasu anon

in general i feel like dragonvale had a lot of missed potential…i wish there was a way you could interact with the dragons?? like pet them or smth idk LMAOO ik it’s supposed to simulate a zoo so realistically you wouldn’t be petting them but they’re so cuteee like let me cuddle w them!!

i think the leaks have been dropping earlier and earlier so it seems like a lot of time has passed since the last chapter maybe?? the last one i can remember is 269 i believe where rin starts going a bit crazy 😭 but i forget when that came out

yeahh i think it’s just to be expected from fandoms atp!! once one person characterizes a character in a certain way everyone tends to follow that (especially if that fic gets popular) at the end of the day it is what it is 😩

HAHA dwww autocorrect is so unreliable i get it!! and either way i look forward to hearing your thoughts 🫡 even if it’s literally just “cool story 👍” LMAOAAO

i feel like fetish must be some weird kind of lost in translation thing?? like maybe it means preference or smth that they find attractive but not necessarily in a strictly sexual way (because if it is sexual then what is going on w yuki…how are you turned on by ephemeral things?? like he gives cherry blossoms as an example which doesn’t even makes sense 😭 does he bust every time he goes out during the spring)

PLEASEEEE OMG NOT SHIDOU i feel like now i have to write him just to see if i can do it in a way that’s appealing LMAOAO that would truly be the greatest challenge ever…haha i agree idm character’s younger sister when it’s done well!! i’ve been in some fandoms though where especially for long fics people will just make their “character’s younger sister” characters exact copies of the older sibling because they can’t come up w something of their own (jjk is notorious for this…the amt of gojo’s younger sister characters that exist in this world is crazy)

i NEVER shy away from a good female side character 😤 i think it’s come to the point where so many people just use female characters as obstacles to the main relationship that readers automatically expect it and jump to hating on female characters just for existing in a story or even daring to BREATHE near the male lead even if they’ve shown no interest in him. i have one story where i have a character who’s kind of the reader’s adopted sister?? and at one point she’s sick so the main love interest helps her back to her room…the death threats that poor character received for that are INSANE!! the whole point of the scene was to show how the main love interest is a generally caring guy too and she at that point already has an established love interest of her own so the hate was truly unwarranted but people were just unable to see beyond the love interest daring to interact w a girl 😒

otoya gives me only child vibes or like i can see him having a younger brother!! def not being stuck between two sisters given his interesting dating habits…LMAOO kunigami was raised well though 👆🏻 needs to be studied wtf ego did to him in wildcard because how did his entire personality change like that?? was my man in there getting tortured or smth tf 😭 and yess i do think karasu being one of the older ones in bllk and teasing isagi/rin/shidou (who’s technically older than him but wtvr) for being immature made it seem as though he would be an older sibling but agreed i can see him being the younger sibling who has to go get a glass of water for his older sister every time she asks and whatnot

see this is why i need to know what shidou’s parents are like…like are they like him?? or is he completely an anomaly amongst his family?? LMAO truly top ten greatest mysteries of bllk

I AM READY FOR THE COMMENTARY 🫡

[theydontknowaboutusimagines]

Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore - Harry Styles One Shot

*Based on Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore by REO Speedwagon

Harry sighed as he tossed and turned in his bed. He looked over at the clock on his bedside table and saw it was only two in the morning. Harry hasn’t had a good night’s sleep in over a week and it was really taking a toll on his body and mental state. He got up from his bed and went down to his kitchen to make some chamomile tea. 

As he waited for it to steep, he grabbed his phone and scrolled through social media. He liked a few photos here and there, but found himself stopping when he saw your most recent photo. It was of you on stage from your show that night. You were standing on the smaller stage with only your guitar and nothing, but the spotlight shinning down on you. 

He smiled clicking the heart icon on instagram. He thought about typing in a comment below, but he knew the chaos that would ensue if he did. He took the tea bag out of his cup and threw it in the trash before heading back up to his bedroom. Seeing the photo of you brought these feelings into him. 

The same feelings that always erupted whenever he thought about you or was around you. And it was those feelings that kept him up at night. He’s had feelings for you, for a while, but it never seemed to be a good time for either of you to be dating. 

He was either on tour or living in a studio, or you were doing the same. You two have been friends for awhile and it was only recently that you two started developing a closer friendship. And with that, Harry knew he was falling for it. 

Except he would never admit it to himself. He’s had his heartbroken before and he was scared of it happening again. So, he pushed those feelings away and kept them locked up. 

But then he saw the pictures. The pictures of you and another guy out and about and him attending your concert after. And then there’s the rumors that were written alongside the photos. 

He’s experienced this countless of times himself. The guy could have easily been a friend or someone your team wanted you seen with for publicity. Either way, it most likely meant nothing romantically. 

But the thought of you being with someone else, hurt him. The moment he saw those pictures, his heart dropped into his stomach. His palms grew sweaty and his heart raced as he scrolled through more pictures. His breathing quicken slightly and he tried to calm it the best he could. 

Ever since then all he could think about was you and the feelings he felt for you. He had no idea if you even saw him as anything other than a friend, but he knew he couldn’t hold back his feelings anymore. Knowing there was a possibility of losing you to someone else without him every telling you how he felt, was something he would never be able to live with. 

**

You were currently on tour and while you loved it, exhaustion from being on stage almost every night and traveling every other day was starting to take over.  Today was an off day for you, and you made sure you enjoyed it. You slept in, did some yoga out on the balcony of your hotel room, and ate breakfast before heading down to the pool. 

You were reading a book in your cabana by the pool, when you saw someone who looked familiar walking towards the gate to the pool area. You pushed your sunglasses down and saw it was Harry. Both confusion and excitement filled you as you sat up, not even bothering you mark your page, and you walked over to him. 

“What the fuck! What are you doing here?” You smiled wrapping your arms around him. 

“Well, I needed to get out of the studio, so I decided to a take a little holiday. I figured I haven’t seen you in a while and now I’m ere,” he smiled. 

“Holy shit,” you smiled. “I can’t believe this. It’s been ages since we’ve seen each other in person.” 

“I know,” he said. “I wasn’t sure about crashing like this, but I’m happy you seem happy I’m here.” 

“I am,” you smiled. “It’s nice to have a friendly face here.” 

“As apposed to everyone else you see everyday?” He joked. 

“A new friendly face,” you rolled your eyes. “You knew what I meant.” 

“I did, but you know I love to fuck with you,” he said. 

“That’s always been your speciality,” you laughed. “Come on, I’ve got a spot over here we can share. We can get some more drinks, too.” 

“Sounds good,” he said following you over to the cabana.

** 

About an hour as passed, you and Harry were currently laying in the cabana enjoying some lunch and a few cocktails. You two were talking about all sorts of things and laughing about stupid shit. This was something you really needed. You forgot about how tired you were and how you just wanted to go home and sleep in your own bed. 

Whenever you were around Harry, you were always happier. If you had a shit day, just hearing his voice made whatever the issue was, not so important anymore. He always made you laugh, even though the majority of his jokes weren’t even funny. He was always there for you whenever you needed a shoulder to cry on or person to vent to. 

It also helped he was in the industry too because everything you felt about touring, traveling, and working on new music, he understood. Both you and One Direction debuted in the same year, under the same label, which meant you two crossed paths a lot in the first few years of your careers. You were invited to the same events, the same awards, and sometimes you even had the same interviews on talk shows the same nights. 

So, naturally, going through practically the same career milestones, you two bonded over that. But it wasn’t until Harry started his solo career and had a little more time off, that you two really started connecting. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t have feelings for him. 

You’d be crazy not to, to be honest. 

But your friendship with him was so amazing, you were scared opening your big  mouth about how you felt would ruin it. Because there was no way he felt the same way as you. There just couldn’t be. He never showed any interest as liking you as more than friend. 

Plus, there was the whole dating other people thing, too. 

But him flying here to see you and spending this time with him, made you realize that you couldn’t hold your feelings in anymore. You weren’t sure how you were going to tell him how you felt, but you knew you were going to have to or else you’d regret it. 

**

Later that night, you and Harry decided you were going to out for dinner and some drinks. Being with you for only a few hours had already calmed him a little and it just felt right. The only thing he felt a little unsettled about was finding the courage to tell you how he felt. During your poolside conversations, he almost let it out a few times, the words were even at the tip of his tongue, but he never could get them to come out. 

While he got ready in his hotel room, he looked at himself in the mirror. He felt stupid and a bit cheesy for what he was about to do, but he’d seen enough rom-coms in his life that he felt this was the kick in the ass he needed. 

“Okay,” he sighed looking at him his reflection. “This is what you came here for. To tell her how you felt. Yes, you might make a complete ass of yourself, but needed to get this off your chest. And who knows, maybe she feels the same way and you get your happy ending. Just like the movies.” 

“I feel like a complete wanker,” he mumbled running his hands over his face. 

The guy you had been seen with never made it as a topic of conversation. Harry didn’t know if that was a good or a bad thing. You not talking about him or even bringing him could mean one of two things. Either, there was nothing going on, so there was no point in bringing it up. Or there was something going on, but you didn’t feel the need to bring it up yet because you didn’t want anyone to know. 

Even Harry. 

He tried to push the latter out of his mind, but he also wanted to mentally prepare himself in case that was the reason. He could open up about his feelings to you and you could give him a look of pity and say, “Harry, I-I’m flattered, but I’m seeing someone right now. I’m so, sorry, I should have told you, but it’s still pretty new.” 

God, he hoped you didn’t say that. He didn’t know what he wanted you to say exactly, but as long as you felt the same as he, he didn’t care. 

Once you both were ready, you headed out to a restaurant bar. 

“So, I’ve got something to tell you,” you smiled to him as you walked inside. 

Harry perked a bit, wondering what it could be. Deep down he was hoping you were about to declare your love for him, but he knew this wasn’t exactly the moment. You weren’t just going to blurt it out here in the entrance of a restaurant, surrounded by a bunch of people, especially when you two weren’t even really have a conversation right now. 

“What is it?” He asked. 

“Tonight just happens to be Karaoke night,” you smirked. 

“No fucking way!” His eyes widening with excitement. 

“Yep, I saw it online and knew this was something we had to do!” You smiled. 

“You’re the fucking best, did I ever tell you that?” He laughed. 

“All the time, but it’s a few more times won’t hurt,” you smirked. 

“Are they serving humble pie for dessert tonight, too?” He joked. 

“Fuck you!” You laughed sitting down a table. 

He laughed sitting up in the stool across from you. You both took a menu and read over it before ordering when the waitress came over. A few people had already started singing and they were beyond awful, but that’s what made it fun. 

“You know, one thing I’m always worried about coming to these things is someone singing one of my songs,” you laughed. “I’m always afraid they’re going to either butcher it beyond repair or sing it better than me.” 

“Bold of you to assume you’ve ever written a song worthy of karaoke,” Harry smirked. 

“I could say the same for you,” you smirked. 

“Oh, come on, What Makes You Beautiful? Best Song Ever? One Thing? Kiwi? Sign of the Times? All worthy,” he defended. 

Instead of responding, you simply took a sip of your drink, “If that helps you sleep at night,” you smirked. 

He laughed, “Actually, I haven’t really been sleeping much recently.” 

“Ah, studio time?” You asked. 

“Some, yeah, but most of it is from not being able to sleep,” he said looking down his drink. “I’ve had a lot on mind, which is another reason why I flew out here. I thought being in a different environment would help.” 

“And seeing me,” you added. 

He laughed, “Of course, seeing you always makes me feel better.” 

“Same here,” you smiled. “I’ve hit that time of touring where I just feel worn out, you know? I just want to go home and sleep in my bed. I don’t want a schedule. I want to just do whatever the fuck I want to do and when I want to do. Of course, I say that and as soon as tour is over and I go back to that, I’m already itching to get back on stage.” 

“I’ve been there plenty of times,” he said. “With One Direction, I felt like my entire life was just sleep, eat, interviews, recording, show, and repeat. So, once I didn’t have that anymore, it felt weird. I was grateful to just have a life that didn’t revolve around a schedule or a to-do list, but at the same time, I felt lost. Which is why I got back into the studio, and then Dunkirk happened, but it was nice to do something different.” 

“It doesn’t matter how many other people in my life do what we do, but they don’t always get what or how I’m feeling,” you said. “But you do.” 

“Well, I guess it helps that we’ve sort of “grown up” in the industry together,” he laughed. 

“Yeah, I guess it does” you smiled. 

“Um, Y/N,” he whispered. 

“Yeah?” You asked looking over at him. 

“There’s another reason why I came to see you,” he said. “I-” 

“Harold Smith,” the DJ said into the microphone. 

“Oh! That’s you!” You said looking over at Harry. 

“Harold Smith?” He raised an eyebrow. 

“Well, I couldn’t exactly write down Harry Styles, now could I?” You said. 

“Good point,” he laughed. 

“I know you wanted to say something, but you can tell me after,” you smiled. 

Harry nodded, making his way up to the stage. He had finally got enough courage to tell you and then it was interrupted. When he looked through the song list, there was one that quickly caught his eye. It was now or never. This was his in... and he had to do it. 

**

You watched Harry get on the stage and take the microphone into his hands. He closed his eyes before reopening them and looked directly at you. You were a bit shocked when you noticed the opening chords were for a slow song. 

“Oh, I can't fight this feeling any longer And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow What started out this friendship has grown stronger I only wish I had the strength to let it show,” he sang softly. 

You swallowed as you stared at him. Not only was this one of your favorite songs, but the meaning behind the song was exactly what you were feeling. 

“I tell myself that I can't hold out forever I said there is no reason for my fear 'Cause I feel so secure when we're together You give my life direction You make everything so clear,” he sang never taking his eyes off you. 

By the time he finished the song, your emotions were all over the place. When Harry made it back, you could tell he was nervous. Your food had arrived, but you hadn’t touched one bite of it. 

“Y/N-” Harry whispered. 

“I think we should head back to the hotel,” you whispered. 

Harry’s heart sank as he nodded, “O-okay. Yeah, let’s go.”

[taehyungiestummy]

Blood, Sweat, and Tears -- Chapter Twenty

Masterlist     Previous     Next

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 7026

         I rapidly blink, focusing in on Reo with his annoyingly attractive smirk gracing his face. This is the bastard that I have been stuck on for breaking my heart, and no one had the guts to tell me to stay away from him.

         “I can’t fucking believe you,” I snap, doing my best to keep my voice low. My jaw clenching as I stare at the boy who acts as if he has no shame. “You are the one who hurt me so badly all those years ago. Who made the biggest fucking mistake by doing one of the dumbest fucking things you can do. My heart shattered over a piece of scum that is you.”

         Reo chuckles, staring at me with no emotion. “Oh, you think that you are the one who experienced the most pain? Did you even remember what you did to me?”

         “Physical pain, all that I did to you, is temporary,” I roll my eyes. “A broken heart can never be pieced back together the same. It’s because of you that I had such a bad view on men.”

         “Oh, you poor baby, with your broken heart,” he mockingly pouts. “Would you like to see the scars that scatter my body because you got a little mad and took it out on me?”

         “Are you trying to say that you didn’t deserve what I did to you?” I pick up my pencil, twirling it in my fingers like I would a knife. “I held back on you. I could have killed you, but I thought better of it. You hurt me, so why should you get off so easy.”

         “Don’t worry, sweetheart, I don’t hold it against you. I should have never gotten so careless.”

         “You are disgusting.” I grip onto my pencil, pointing it at him. “What do you want me to say? Huh? What did you come to tell me?”

         “There’s nothing that I would force you to say, Areum. I’m on a mission, and you are my target,” he leans forward. “I’ve never stopped loving you, and I made a mistake. We both made mistakes. I tried to make my amends with you, but you never would forgive me.”

         “Once a cheater, always a cheater,” I scrunch my nose in disgust. “You’ve come all this way, turned into this boy that I can’t recognize, so that you could take me away from my family? So that you could take me to a group of people that I know nothing about? You sit there, thinking that all you have to do is act cocky and apologetic to get me back.”

         His eyes slightly widen in shock, but his mouth stays shut.

         “I’ve spent years wondering why someone would hurt me like you did, and I have shed so many tears over a boy whose face I could no longer imagine. You’ve been taking over my nightmares,” I sigh, slamming my pencil down on the table. “Man, I am so sorry.”

         “That’s it, baby,” Reo grins, reaching his hand out to me.

         “I am so not sorry towards you,” I mechanically laugh. “I am sorry that I had to waste two years of my life with you. I am sorry to my current boyfriend for having to watch from the sidelines when I went through so much hurt. Fuck you, I would never be sorry about what I did to you.”

         He snarls, pulling his hand back, “You think that you are some big shot acting like this towards the man who will have you in the end.”

         “I have a group of men standing behind me every second of the day, and I can act however I want. Especially towards a bitch like you,” I scoff.

         “You’ll change your mind about us eventually. It’s only a matter of time. You are destined as the princess of the Red Wolves.”

         “Why would I ever consider going to the enemies side to drop in rank when I am already the Queen of Bangtan?” I tilt my head to the side, doing my best to portray that I think he’s an idiot without words. “I am leading the country’s biggest organization with my brother, and you think that I would throw all of that away to be some bitch on the side. Get the fuck out of my face.”

         “It isn’t always about what you want, sweetheart. This was planned way before you were born. I’m just following orders.”

         “What are you going to do? Kidnap me? The whole city will be in an uproar, and you will have some very pissed off guys looking for me. The Red Wolves would be no more if you did that.”

         “Kidnapping won’t be necessary. We always have our eyes on you, so we will figure out the best time to strike.”

         “I have the best protectors in the world. I’d like to see you try and get me.”

         “How are you sure that each one of those in the mansion isn’t actually a rat that is sending information back to us?”

         I feel my heart stop for a second; my breath catching in my throat as I consider the possibility that someone would give crucial Bangtan information to the enemy. The feeling is gone in a split second as I realize how ridiculous that sounds. “Impossible. Bangtan saved each of the people that has come through the mansion doors. If anyone was betraying us, we’d know about it. We’re a close-knit group, and I know everyone within those walls.”

         “I didn’t think that you would catch my bluff,” he nods a few times. “There used to be someone among your precious organization that was sending information back to the Wolves, but they returned to us years ago. They’ve moved up in ranks since those years, and is now a vital cog in the machine.”

         “Why now?” I find the words slipping through my lips before I can stop them.

         “You haven’t figured that out yet? Do you really believe that your father’s death was a random event?”

         “I fucking knew it.” I am seething. “You assholes never know when to stop, and I can’t wait to be the one to end you forever.”

         “Oh, but sweet Ari, he’s the one who approved of it,” Reo chuckles as my eyes widen. “You think a man as powerful as your dad would drop his guard in order for a group like us to kill him? Oh no, this goes a lot deeper, and we are not going to stop until we accomplish what we set out to do. We will do anything to reach our goal. Anything.”

         I feel a cold wash over me as Reo’s smirk turns from annoying to taunting. It is dripping with evil as his eyes scan over me, looking for some kind of sign that his words have an effect on me.

         “Leave me alone!” I can’t help the rise of my voice as I shove away from the table. My chair falling to the floor with a clatter, and then I am rushing off into the library to find Jimin. To feel safe once again.

         My mind is a blank slate as I try to remember what book I sent him off to find, though I doubt that will help me in a library this big. He doesn’t know the layout of this place, so he could be anywhere. I’m in no state to have to fight against people, even if Reo said that they weren’t going to come and kidnap me. I don’t trust a word that comes out of his mouth now that I know what he did to me.

         I will thank him for unlocking part of my memories. He’s good for one thing, and now I hope I’ll never see him again.

         “Jimin,” I gasp, frantically looking down aisles for the boy who has so graciously become my bodyguard.

         My head is beginning to pound as too many thoughts are running about the Red Wolves and my memories. Everything has just been thrown on me in the past few months. I don’t think that I can keep brushing it off and acting like nothing happens.

         “Jimin!” I whisper-yell at the boy standing in the middle of an aisle with a book in his hand. His eyebrows are furrowed as he looks at the cover, trying to decide if this is the book I sent him to retrieve. “Jiminie,” I cry out, rushing at him as tears well up in my eyes.

         “Hm?” Jimin turns to look at me, surprise exploding on his face as he drops the book and opens his arms for me to fall into. “Areum, what are you doing here? Why are you crying? I was just going to come back with the book. Are finals that bad?”

         I shake my head as I grip onto his shirt. “Reo, doctor son, bad guy, my memories, father, fucking dickheads,” I choke out, knowing that the words mean nothing to Jimin, but I have to say something.

         “Okay, as much as I want to laugh at how crazy that sounded, I know that you are in a panic state, which is not good.” He pulls me off him by my shoulders. Concern has taken over the surprise of just moments ago. “Take some deep breaths, like I always tell you to do when fighting, and focus on me. Whoever scared you, they can’t hurt you with me right here. I can take a lot of guys at once, and I never leave the mansion without a weapon.” He gently smiles, running a few fingers over my cheek.

         I feel my heartbeat in my ears as I lock my gaze with Jimin. My breathing begins to match his even one as we stand in silence. If I can’t calm down, then I can’t explain what happened, and Jimin can’t help me if he has no idea what is going on.

         “I can feel your heartrate going down. You didn’t run through the library looking for me, did you?”

         “Yes,” I breath out, letting my grip on his shirt loosen.

         “It’s a good thing you didn’t have a panic attack while running. Now, can you tell me what happened?”

         I take a deep breath, trying to get all my thoughts in order. “When you left, Reo, Dr. Sato’s son, came over. I knew he went here, but I have never really seen him. He started talking to me, and then I noticed he had a tattoo. But not any normal tattoo, a Red Wolves tattoo,” I whisper the last half of the sentence. “That bastard is part of the gang that keeps calling me their princess.”

         “Damn it, I knew I shouldn’t have left you,” his jaw clenches. “He didn’t do anything to you, did he?”

         “He helped me get my memories back.” I feel a sharp pain exploded in my skull, causing me to grimace.

         “Oh, baby girl, I am so sorry,” Jimin sighs. “I know that there are holes in your memories that hold bad times.”

         “He’s the cheater,” I shake my head. “He’s the one who broke my heart, and now he is trying to get me back because the Red Wolves promised him. He said my father’s death was planned,” I choke out, feeling the tears pricking my eyes once more. My head now throbbing like a sinus headache, but I doubt that is what is happening.

         “Oh, so he’s the little shit,” Jimin grins, shaking his head. “The next time I see him, I am going to punch the fuck out of him. You already had to live through that terrible time once, and then to remember it must have been horrible.”

         “No need to punch him, I already hurt him back then,” I take a shaky breath, closing my eyes for a few moments in hopes that it will relieve some pressure in my head.

         “Let’s get back to your stuff, and you can sit down and compose yourself,” he steps away, reaching down to pick up the book he dropped. “We can decide if you can get through your last class then.”

         I nod a few times. “What if he is waiting for us?”

         “I’ll kick ass,” Jimin shrugs, a teasing smirk on his lips. “That’s what I have been trained to do, and I will fight anyone who tries to hurt you.”

         “Thank you,” I take a slow deep breath to give me strength.

         He slings his arm around my shoulders, leading us back towards the table. “Are you feeling better?”

         “Enough to push through the day,” I offer a smile even through my head feels like it is going to explode.

         “I’ll be on high alert from now on, so that will never happen again.”

         “I want my memories to come back, so even though he is a massive jackass, I am okay with him showing his true colors.” I let out a shaky breath. “I just want them to leave me alone. This warped view of me being their princess because my mom was the daughter of their leader is fucked.”

         “We’ll get to the bottom of it soon, and life will return to a new normal.”

         We reach the table where not long ago Reo and I had our standoff. Reo is no longer seated across from my stuff, and it doesn’t look like any of my stuff was touched. My chair is still on the ground, which is not surprising.

         “Here, take a seat,” Jimin picks up the chair. “That boy is smart to not stick around when I’m here. Those bastards know how to train them in the basics at least.”

         I plop down in the chair, “They make me fucking sick.” I push my laptop screen up to see if Taehyung messaged me, but I am met with no chatroom at all. “At this point, I just want to go home. I don’t want to be here right now knowing that he’s out there.”

         “I’ll have to call Yoongi and make sure that is alright, but I think it would be a good idea to get out of here.”

         I close my laptop, “Can you help me clean up here?”

         “Of course,” Jimin steps closer, crouching to help me put items in my backpack.

         “I’m so glad you were here, Jiminie,” I run my fingers through his hair. “I’m so glad that we are friends.”

         He giggles, “The adrenaline running low now?”

         “I’m starting to feel sick, actually,” I slowly stand up, gripping onto the edge of the table. My breathing has become quick once again as I try not to throw up. “Fuck, Jimin, I need to get out of here. I can’t come back here ever again. It has become unsafe for me, and I can’t live my life in constant fear that some fuck boy is going to come up to me and drag me off. My head is going to burst,” I squeeze my eyes shut.

         “Areum,” Jimin places a hand on my shoulder. “I’m going to call Namjoon to pick us up, and then we can deal with professors afterwards.”

         “That sounds great,” I groan, forcing my eyes open to look at Jimin.

         His eyes are slightly widen as he must be freaking out with how I am acting, but he’s holding it together, so I don’t fall deeper into whatever panic state has taken hold of me. “We’ll make sure that you get enough rest after this.”

         I open my mouth to answer, but anther bolt of pain crash through my skull. Flashes of all kinds of memories with Taehyung or Reo are running through my mind. Memories that have been locked up for years bursting through.

         I reach out for Jimin as I feel darkness closing in, and then the whole world falls away.

********

         My brain slowly drags me from the sleep I don’t remember lying down for. A dull heat pulsing on my right side that has me wondering what I fell on. Regardless, the pain in my head is no longer making my brain want to explode, so I can take a small pain in my side for now.

         I slowly open my eyes; the lights of the room blinding for the first few seconds. Though I know that I am not in my room based on the smell, and the fact that the bed I am in is a lot smaller.

         My eyes drift down to see an IV in my left arm, meaning that I must be in the hospital wing. Oh yeah, I passed out in the library because of the worst headache I have ever experienced. Jimin must have called for some guys to come and get me to take me here.

         I slowly move my head in fear of causing another headache, and I spot Taehyung right next to me. His fingers are flying across the keyboard of a laptop as he’s probably been hacking for hours waiting for me to wake up. His natural brown hair a mess from his fingers running through it. I can’t believe that I wasted two years with an asshole when Taehyung was right there all along. If only he wasn’t stolen from me.

         “Tae,” I choke out; my throat burning for water.

         Taehyung’s head snaps towards me. “Areum!” He places his laptop on the side table next to him before jumping up to lean over me. “Oh, babe, I was so worried. I saw you with Reo and tried to warn you, but you just shut your laptop so you couldn’t see my messages. God, and then I saw you pass out, my heart fell.”

         “Water,” I smile, reaching up to pat his cheek.

         “Oh!” He steps away, looking around the room. “I should have had something ready for you, considering you’ve been out for about sixteen hours.”

         I let out a surprised squeak.

         He giggles, “Don’t worry about school. Yoongi talked to your professors, and you’ll take your finals in the comfort of your bed as soon as you feel up to it.” He snatches a water bottle from off a table, turning to step back up to me. “Can you hold out your arm?”

         I reach for the bottle with my right hand, “What happened?”

         He unscrews the bottle’s cap, “I think that Doc and Boo will be able to explain it better than I will ever be able to. I’m Mr. Hacker, not a doctor, you know,” he grins.

         I take a few sips of water before handing the bottle back to Taehyung. “Have you been sitting right there this whole time?”

         “I promised your brother that I wouldn’t leave your side,” he plops back down in his seat. “With a job like mine, I can do it anywhere as long as I have a computer. I was so worried about you, Areum, I needed to be with you.”

         “I’m so glad that I woke up to see you,” I tenderly smile. “Sixteen hours, huh?”

         “A long ass sixteen hours for everyone in the mansion. Sooyoung was in hysterics in the beginning, but Jungkook calmed her down. Your brother went into an angry fury looking for Reo, but that was a lot of dead ends. There’s also been a deep look into everyone who works here, on the off chance that someone is giving away precious information.”

         “I am guessing nothing was found.” I shift around, remembering what Reo had told me.

         “Nothing,” he sighs. “Which is a good thing. The people within these walls should be loyal to the Min’s.”

         “To Bangtan,” I run my right hand through my hair. “I’m just happy that I don’t have to go back to that campus. There’s too many bad memories, and I don’t feel safe anywhere but here. Even though I can kill a man hundreds of different ways, the Red Wolves will stop at nothing to bring me into their group.”

         “We’ll keep you safe, babe,” he reaches over and grabs my hand. “I’m doing my best to figure everything out. This is one big puzzle.”

         “I think I am ready for Doc and Boo to come in and explain what the hell happened to me,” I softly chuckle.

         “I’ll be right back then,” he stands back up. “Before that, though, there is something that I have been itching to do since you got back.” He leans over me, gently cupping my face. “I love you so damn much, so stop making me worry about you so much.”

         “I love you too, Taehyungie, and I will do my best,” I poke his stomach.

         His lips press against mine in heart-skipping kiss, and before we can truly enjoy the action, he’s pulling away and leaving the room.

         “Rude,” I pout. “And now I have nothing to do. I’m gonna have to ask for a handheld console if I’m going to be in here for a long time.”

         The door to my room opens a few moments later, with Taehyung leading the way for Minho and Boram. It’s been a while since I’ve seen the sibling doctors, which usually is a good thing, but not when they are close friends.

         “How are you feeling, Areum?” Minho asks, walking over to check the fluids in my IV bag.

         “Well, my head doesn’t feel like it is going to explode, so I can only imagine that is a good thing,” I answer.

         Taehyung returns to his seat, reaching over to place a hand on my leg.

         “Since we weren’t able to ask you, where would you have placed the headache on a pain scale?” Boram asks from the end of the bed, hugging a clipboard to her chest.

         “A ten without a doubt,” I nod. “I’ve had sinus headaches, but this one was a lot more intense and all over. I thought I was going to throw up, or start crying, or rip my hair out, but in the end I just passed out.”

         “Jimin told us that you had just remembered some of your past thanks to a certain boy coming up to you,” Minho returns to be next to his sister. “Yoongi approved for us to look at the file your therapist had on you, and you have a lot of traumatic events under lock and key, which have started to trickle back to you. Taehyung says that until recently, you would have nightmares that most likely were linked to memories that were pushing to break free.”

         “That’s definitely what those nightmares were, but I don’t have them much, if at all, anymore. Mainly because of Tae, but also because I have remembered whatever was haunting my dreams. I was able to overcome various events recently.”

         “That is quite possible,” Minho nods. “It is also the reason for your intense headache.”

         “Because I have been remembering things too quickly?”

         “That’s what we think,” Boram answers. “Your brain couldn’t hold all that input of information, and because it was traumatic experiences that were taken from you, it exploded with pain. That pain was so intense that the only thing your body could do to fix the problem was to knock you out.”

         “For sixteen hours,” I shake my head. “What now?”

         “We want to keep monitoring you for a few more days at the least,” Minho flashes a smile. “We don’t think that anything bad will happen, but we want to be safe. You’ll stay here, rest up, get enough to eat, and relax. The most important thing that we want you to do is to not trigger any more memories.”

         “I know that he makes it seem easy,” Boram hip-checks her brother. “Considering you haven’t gone out and triggered memories on purpose the other times, but I believe that staying in this room will keep you from finding the key to the locks. The only people you’ll see are those you see every day, and all you will do is tasks that help your brain shut off.”

         “What would happen if I were to remember anything else?” I nibble on my bottom lip.

         “We don’t know,” Boram sighs. “It’s not like people have their memories taken from them every day, so you are the first person we have come into contact with that is like this.”

         “We don’t want to find out what will happen if you were to have those last chunk of memories returned to you,” Minho says. “That is why we are going to be super careful these next few days, and really the next few weeks.”

         “I trust you two,” I tenderly smile. “I accept that I have to take it easy for a little bit, and I accept the guidelines that you have laid down. Too much has been going on since my father died, so I could take a break.”

         “Oh, Bambi,” Boram’s face shows a wave of sadness.

         “You’ll be surrounded by friends and those who love you, so I think that this will end up being a good thing,” Minho nods. “We’ll let Seokjin know that you are awake and to get a nice big meal sent up for you.”

         “Thank you, both of you, for all that you have done for me,” I do my best to bow.

         “Do you think she can have her IV removed?” Taehyung speaks up.

         “Almost forgot about that,” Minho chuckles. “I checked to make sure you still had enough fluids, but I think with you awake and basically back to normal, you won’t need it anymore.”

         I hold my left arm out, “I’ll let you guys do it, and not rip them out like all the crazy people do in movies and what not.”

         “I always get so mad when they do that,” Boram chuckles. “Preference who takes them out?”

         “Well, since you did my stitches, Boo, would you please?”

         “Told you,” she slaps her clipboard into her brother’s stomach. “Girls stick together.”

         “It’s just an IV,” Minho groans, rolling his eyes.

         Boram steps up to my bedside, “I promise that my hands are cold, and that this will hurt.”

         “Perfect,” I look at Taehyung. “I’ll just talk to keep my mind off it.”

         “What are you looking forward to while in here?” Taehyung gives my thigh a gentle squeeze.

         “Watching all kinds of shows with you, and playing all kinds of video games. I’m just excited to have a break and to be with you. I need to do some Christmas shop-Ow!” My head snaps to look at Boram who has the biggest grin on her face.

         “Come on, it wasn’t that bad,” Boram chuckles, grabbing a cotton ball and some tape, quickly bandaging the small holes. “We’ll be in periodically to check on you, but all you need to worry about is resting.”

         “Don’t try anything,” Minho smirks, pointing at Taehyung.

         “What am I?” Taehyung raises his hands in shock. “Do you think I am some dirty minded boy?”

         “Yoongi told him to say that, I just know it,” I roll my eyes.

         “Come on, idiot,” Boram grabs her brother’s arm and starts dragging him out of the room. “Glad that you are awake, Bambi!”

         The door shuts behind the siblings, and I am relieved to be alone with Taehyung once again. He’s the only one that I want to be with right now. The only one that I know won’t ask too many questions and will just let me be.

         “Seems like more people know about my past than I do,” I force out a chuckle. “Damn, is my report extensive?”

         “I actually was tasked with retracting information before they could read it over,” Taehyung reaches over to grab my hand. “Areum, I need you to know that I will never be like Reo. I am going to be so much better than he ever was. You are the most important person in my life right now, and I am determined to make sure that you are safe. I am going to love you with all of my being, and you will never question that I love you. God, you should have never gone through what you did with that jackass. I should have made my move at the party all those years ago before him. You’ll never go through that kind of shit ever again; I promise you that. You’re the Queen of Bangtan, and you are also my queen.”

         I place my hand on top of Taehyung’s, “I know, Tae. I know that you will never be like that prick. I trust you, and I never want to be away from you. He played me like a fucking fiddle, which makes me even more furious. That I couldn’t see the evil within him. I just hate that I ever went out with him when you were so close. When the red string of fate was pulling me to you, and I wouldn’t listen. You’ve always been my soulmate. We just had to get over some bumps.”

         “I wonder why he became a part of the Red Wolves when his father is entangled with Bangtan. They also are still quite close, so that means he keeps it hidden.”

         “I’m surprised that Dr. Sato didn’t bring it up when we saw him at Halloween, but I’m sure my father got together a team to wash our entire relationship from the earth.”

         “I was actually one of the hackers that helped with that job,” Taehyung awkwardly smiles. “There was quite a bit out on the internet about you two, and I was tasked to erase it all. I had a bit of fun doing it, actually.”

         “I’m sure you did,” I chuckle. “I just don’t understand why he has to get with me, or how come he didn’t move on after I literally tortured him. He’s not in love with me. He’s obsessed.”

         “I wonder if he came to the Red Wolves or if they came to him with the proposition to have you and rule the organization together. It makes sense that the seat would be reserved for you, since your mother was the boss’ daughter, but he doesn’t have to be involved at all.”

         “The Red Wolves definitely came to him after I caught him cheating with the opportunity to not only run a large gang, but to get me back. He’s a fucking sick bastard.”

         “They are really giving us great reason to take them out. There’s never been a chance like this.” Taehyung brings my hand up to kiss my knuckles. “We’ll figure it out when we get there. Right now, you need to stop thinking about all that. You need to relax. What do you want to do?”

         I am about to answer when the door to my room slams open, making us instantly look over to see my brother in the doorway with the traces of a smile on his lips.

         “Bambi!” Yoongi’s smile grows, but once his gaze spots Taehyung, he does his best to lose all emotion.

         “Yoongi, I was wondering when you would come and see me,” I widely smile. “Come to make sure that I am awake and good?”

         “I was so worried about you,” Yoongi shuffles over to stand on the side that Taehyung is not. “I keep thinking that those bastards hurt you in some way, and I guess they kind of did by making you remember.”

         “No need to worry anymore. I’m doing fine. I feel so much better after all that sleep, and I’ll be relaxing right here for as long as Doc and Boo say that I need to.” I make the move to get up, so I can give my brother a hug, but a lightning bolt of pain shoots down my right side. “Ugh,” I groan, settling back into the bed in hopes that the pain will subside.

         “What? What’s wrong?” Yoongi’s eyes widen as he searches all over, probably looking for blood.

         “I don’t know,” I tenderly touch my side, feeling for a bandage that would tell me if I have a wound. “I remember waking up to a dull pain in my side, but moving really made it hurt.”

         “She’s fine, you’re fine, babe,” Taehyung runs a hand through my hair. “You got a nasty bruise on your side when you fell from passing out, and it’s going to make moving a little hard until it heals. There’s nothing to worry about.” He presses a quick kiss to my lips. “You have to relax, babe.”

         “I’m trying,” I giggle, pressing my lips to his for a few seconds. “It’s been a long few months.”

         “As cute as that was, and as happy as I am that you are with V, I am going to have to ask you to not do that again until I have truly wrapped my head around this whole relationship,” Yoongi firmly states.

         Taehyung’s cheeks redden as he settles back into his seat. “Sorry boss,” he mumbles, bringing his laptop back to his lap to get back to hacking.

         “Thanks Yoongi,” I tap my feet together as my cheeks heat up. “Could you do me a favor brother?”

         “Anything,” Yoongi runs a few fingers over my cheek.

         “I’m gonna make you a list of things to grab from my room since I’m going to be here for a while, and I would love if you could go collect it all,” I flash my best gummy smile and bat my eyelashes.

         “Anything for you, brat,” he pinches my cheek. “Anything for you.”

********

         “Thanks for coming and hanging out with me while Tae is with my brother, Hobi,” I swirl noodles with my chopsticks before bringing them up to my mouth.

         “Always a pleasure,” Hoseok flashes a big smile. “What are Tae and your brother talking about?”

         “Tae’s going over all of our dates that lead to Red Wolves’ coming up to me, and then all the information we have gathered before Yoongi knew about us dating. He’s also explaining the team I put together that was going to tackle the problem by ourselves, but we don’t have to do that anymore.”

         “No more sneaking around your brother’s back, I see,” he teases.

         “Well, it was that or have him ground me for life and kill Tae,” I shrug. “Love makes you do crazy things. I can now remember when we were little, and we spent so much time together, and I loved him then. I couldn’t understand it, but looking back on it now, I was deeply in love with him.”

         “You are the cutest, buttercup.”

         “Have you ever been in love, Hobi?”

         “It’s been awhile, but there used to be someone, before Bangtan, that I think I was in love with them.”

         “Do you know where they are?”

         “I’ve been searching, hoping, and I am sure that one day we will meet again. If not, then I am content were I am at, and I don’t need anyone to complete me. I’ll just keep living life and thanking some higher power from bringing me here.”

         “That’s very sweet, Hobi.”

         He shrugs, “I didn’t mean for it to get all mushy, but it did. Tell me what you’ve been doing since you woke up.”

         “Well, they don’t let me do much but lie in this bed, so I have just been playing video games, coloring, reading, or watching shows with Tae.” I skip over the detail that Taehyung has helped me take a bath once, and how I was shocked at the bruise that covers my entire right side. “No schoolwork until I leave here, so I have been trying not to worry about that. No worrying about the business either, which has made me a bit more antsy than I thought it would.”

         “You were wired to lead. We’re doing fine without you, though. We keep working hard so that you don’t have to worry while you rest up.”

         “How much does everyone know?”

         “Only your inner circle knows about your memories and all that. Everyone else thinks that the Red Wolves sent some asshole to scare you, and then gave you some drug to make you pass out. It’s been a great motivator in our fight against them. We all understand how precious you are to Bangtan.”

         “Precious,” I turn the word over in my mouth. “That’s what my mother used to call me when I was little. I’d like to think that I have grown since then.”

         “You have,” Hoseok nods. “Precious is more than being weak and needing others to protect you. Without you, Bangtan would spiral into madness.”

         “Well, I can’t argue with that,” I chuckle.

         “You’re the best fighter I know, buttercup, so never think that anyone looks down on you. That we think you can’t protect yourself. We know that you can, but there are things that you need help with, and you can’t go through life alone.”

         “I know. That’s why I am thankful that I have all of you by my side.”

         A small knock comes at my door, with a voice calling out, “Dessert!”

         “Come in!” I call back.

         The door slowly opens to reveal Seokjin and Namjoon with a plate of brownies.

         “Hell yes,” I grin, tapping my chopsticks on the edge of my bowl. “That is just the kind of treat I have been craving.”

         “Well, you’ve been locked up in here for a few days, so I thought this was the least I could do,” Seokjin grins, stepping up to place the brownies on my bed tray.

         “Did Joonie help?” I tease.

         “He watched and that was it.”

         “I can cook simple foods,” Namjoon huffs. “I’m not that clumsy.”

         “Sure, sure,” Hoseok says. “Just because you can drive a car without any trouble doesn’t mean you didn’t once set the laundry machine on fire.”

         I burst into laughter, “I haven’t thought about that in forever. We had to redo that entire room because of all the smoke and water damage. I’m still trying to figure out how you could have started a fire in there in the first place to this day.”

         “Shut up,” Namjoon pouts, grabbing a brownie off the plate.

         “How have you been holding up, pumpkin?” Seokjin takes a seat in one of the chairs around my bed.

         I shrug, “No headaches, which is good. My side still keeps me from doing a lot, so I am just doing my best to let it heal. It has been a while since I have been able to relax like this, so I have been enjoying it a lot.”

         “She loves spending all her day with her boyfriend too,” Hoseok teases, reaching over to pinch my cheek before snatching a brownie.

         “I mean, yeah,” I take a deep breath to stop the blush from spreading across my cheeks. “He hacks a lot, so we don’t do a lot of talking, but just having him in here with me calms me down and makes me feel safe.”

         “I remember you talking to me about the red string tied around your pinkie a few years ago,” Seokjin says. “After that one boy hurt you, and you wondered who was on the other end of your string. I’m so glad you found him.”

         “The string never breaks, though it may tangle, and the two people are destined to get together no matter what,” I take a bite of a brownie.

         “That boy made sure that he always had an eye on you,” Namjoon speaks up. “He would send me updates so that I knew when you would reach the car.”

         “I’m surprised he didn’t talk about you more to me when he came to the kitchen for meals,” Seokjin adds.

         “He’s the one who suggested the job of watching over me to my father, and I couldn’t be happier,” I let the small smile edge onto my face. “What about you two?” I point at Seokjin and then Namjoon. “What are some of your dreams?”

         “I’m still hoping to get back to running a restaurant,” Seokjin answers. “Even though the kitchen here has the same atmosphere, I just want to leave a legacy like that behind. There is also someone from my past that I would like to talk to again.”

         “Like a special someone?” I tilt my slightly.

         “You could say that,” he somberly smiles. “Namjoon, what are your dreams?”

         “Oh, hm, I don’t know,” Namjoon shrugs. “Street racing is a thing of my past, and I only have a degree because Bangtan payed for it. I guess, it would be nice to show my parents that I did something with my life. To ask for their forgiveness, but I don’t know if that will ever happen,” he sighs.

         “We’re kind of like a group of misfit toys,” I giggle. “I believe that we can accomplish our dreams if we try hard enough, so never give up.”

         “And what is your dream, buttercup?” Hoseok questions.

         “I have a lot of dreams, but I guess right now I just want to be happy. I want to figure out the puzzle that surrounds my parent’s deaths, and then finally move on.”

         “She wants to spend the rest of her life with me,” Taehyung’s voice perks me up in an instant as he enters the room. “She’s already got it all figured out.”

         “Taehyungie!” I happily squeal, bouncing a few times. “How was your meeting with Yoongi?”

         “Went well,” he nods, walking over to me. “We have a plan now, or at least we have begun to develop a plan.” He cups my face, leaning down to press a few pecks to my lips. “You have to get better before anything moves ahead, though.”

         “Ah, look at the couple being all cute and kissy,” Seokjin teases.

         “Leave them be,” Namjoon gives Seokjin a shove.

         “I love you,” Taehyung pulls back, walking over to the couch where he’s set up a place to work.

         “I love you too,” I gummy smile.

         “Look at you being all cute,” Hoseok chuckles. “Forever and always the cutest.”

         “And forever and always mine,” Taehyung has a boxy smile gracing his face. “And I couldn’t be happier about it.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Holy shit, I think this may be the longest chapter, and I think it deserves it. There was so much information that needed to be told in this plot turning chapter with Reo and then Areum’s memories causing headaches and giving some of the other minor characters their time. It’s been a while since the last chapter, and I am sorry for that. I will try to do better. Anyways, hope you enjoyed! Please let me know what you thought, as that means a lot to me. Now, I’ll get working on the next chapter! :D (This is a repost from earlier, some chapters were deleted, and I wanted it to make sure that everything was in order).

[thepureblooded]

A/N: I haven’t posted anything in a month but I really wanted to finish this akafuri fic. I wrote dialogue first which is not my usual writing method but eh, it was fun.

Summery: Uncrowned Kings try figure out who Akashi is dating, with great speculations and misplaced indignation. Akashi is confused by his starters but is mostly focused on his phone. Mayuzumi is there for the voice of reason that everyone ignores.

Full version here, which contains a bonus scene.

OoO

Reo watched Akashi walk out of the locker room, her eyes narrowing at the almost bounce in his step. “Have any of you noticed Sei-chan has been acting weird?"

Nebuya gave her a dubious look. “You know this is the same person who did offer to gouge out his eyeballs and give them to us if we lost a game, right?”

“But he’s a lot less insane now since we lost the Winter Cup!” Hayama was quick to defend, head pocking out of his t-shirt. “We’re allowed to check our cell phones during breaks now!”

Reo nodded. “And last week he lessened our training regimen when I asked him to.”

“Yesterday he helped me study for the science test,” Nebuya added.

“And that’s exactly my point.” Reo snapped her fingers. “He’s been calmer since the Winter Cup, true, but these past three weeks he’s been nice.”

This gave them all a pause.

“Didn’t just last month he confiscated a third year’s phone, saying he would drop it from the school roof if he saw it again?” asked Hayama, remembering that terrifying incident. The poor boy looked like he was going to cry.

Reo looked over at Nebuya. “How was your tutoring session?”

“It was pleasant and helpful,” Nebuya said, in growing horror. “He even brought snacks.”

They all began to panic.

“Is he sick? What if he’s dying?” Hayama frantically asked.

“Do you think the pressure of being captain at such a young age has finally broken him?” wondered Reo.

“Maybe aliens have laid eggs in his brains and are messing with his head.”

Nebuya joined in the conspiracy. “What if he's been replaced by an alien?”

“I mean; I’ve been telling you guys from the beginning that Akashi isn’t human,” Hayama said, exasperated. “His eye changes colour.”

“Trick of the light, I’m telling you,” Reo dismissed.

“They glow during game time!”

“Adrenaline.”

“Maybe he’s dating someone?” Mayuzumi threw in, wondering why he was joining their, frankly, ridiculous conversation. He was going to put it down to vague curiosity.

“What?” This suggestion threw the Uncrowned Kings.

“You said he lifted the banned on phones, right?” Reo nodded when Mayuzumi looked at her in confirmation. “He did so he could check his. Simple.”

“The lessen training time?” Hayama hesitantly asked.

“To spend more time with his partner.”

“Being nice while tutoring me?”

Mayuzumi shrugged. “Good sex?”

There was an awkward pause as the idea of their captain have sex became a possibility.

Reo grimaced and quickly asked the main question, “But who would Sei-chan date?”

“And more importantly,” Hayama added. “Who would date Akashi?”

“Do you think he would make a good boyfriend?” Mayuzumi asked, honestly just to see what the Uncrown Kings reactions would be. Nebuya face was still frozen in discomfort from his earlier comment and it was pretty amusing.

Reo hesitated. “I… don’t know. I can’t imagine Sei-chan liking someone to that degree.”

Hayama nodded. “It would have to be someone special. Someone from Rakuzan?”

“Can’t be, or we would know.”

“So someone from another school. A cute manager? Maybe it’s the one that was also with the Generation of Miracles!” Hayama excitedly said, looking like he cracked the code.

Reo shook her head. “She’s in love with Kuroko, remember?”

Hayama waved his hand dismissively. “Aren’t all the Miracles in love with Kuroko?”

Reo froze, staring widely at Hayama. “You don’t think…?”

“But isn’t he with Kagami?” Hayama asked in alarm, catching onto what Reo was implying.

“But Akashi could still…” Reo made a vague hand movement that somehow explained everything she refused to say.

“It could be another basketball player that isn’t Kuroko?” Nebuya hesitantly offered, seemingly coming back from the dark place he went off to. Mayuzumi honestly wasn’t surprised by their easy acceptance of Akashi possibly dating a boy, but it was pleasantly nice to confirm it.

“I guess,” Reo dubiously agreed. “But who?”

“Oh!” Hayama exclaimed suddenly. “We can steal his phone and see!”

“Or we could ask him?” offered Mayuzumi, the only sensible person in this conversation.

He was ignored.

OoO

Getting Akashi’s phone proved to be a bit more difficult than just grabbing it while he was busy.

“Because Akashi sees everything,” Hayama hissed, sending quick looks at Akashi who was, coincidentally, on his phone.

Reo rolled her eyes. “My God, you make him sound like a super-villain.” And wasn’t that a terrifying thought, because there was no doubt that Akashi would make a very successful villain. He already has the tragic backstory for one.

Hayama, in a panic way to create a distraction, challenged Akashi to a one-on-one. The match itself was like watching a car accident, nothing was going to turn out well but you couldn’t look away. It was short and brutal. The phone was forgotten in favour of watching the carnage.

The closest they came was when Akashi was taking a shower. They managed to locate the phone in his bag, after way too long rummaging. However, it was password protected, which was a low move on Akashi’s half. It made snooping very hard.

Hayama peered over Reo’s shoulder at the phone. “Try 1234.”

Reo scoffed. “That’s dumb. Maybe his birthday?”

“Do aliens even have birthdays?”

“For the last time, he’s not an alien.”

“Felt that way facing off him.” Hayama leaned back, pouting.

Before they could even attempt to break the code, Nebuya waved his hands frantically from his lookout position as they heard the shower go off. Luckily for them, a message came through the same time, appearing on the front screen. In their panic, they could only see the letter “K” in the contact name before the phone was shoved haphazardly back into the bag.

Akashi walked in and gave his starters weird looks. That was probably because their idea of acting natural was to pose like they were on the front cover of a style magazine. Reo was lounging on a bench as if to seduce a lover. Akashi was rightfully suspicious and not seduced at all.

OoO

“I’m telling you that it’s Kuroko,” Reo hissed, walking down the street while still doing her tie.

They left the changing rooms as soon as they could. Reo and Hayama are buzzing from their new-found knowledge, while Nebuya less excited but still curious. Mayuzumi was there because this was his way home and it seemed more effort to try and ditch the three idiots than to walk behind them.

Hayama was still doubtful on their leading suspect. “I don’t think Kuroko is one to cheat on his boyfriend.”

“But it’s Sei-chan,” Reo shot back. “Who wouldn’t cheat on their lover for Sei-chan?”

“People who actually value their lives?” Hayama’s voice went up a few notches because no one could be that suicidal, could they? He quickly added, “Also, I don’t think Akashi would take it too kindly to being a side chick. He would want to be the main hoe.”

Nebuya groaned. “Can we please stop putting our captain in sexual scenarios?”

Reo ignored Nebuya. “Does this make Sei-chan a homewrecker?”

Hayama eyes went wide, as he never thought of his captain like that. “He really is a villain!”

“We have to stop him!” Reo slammed her fist in her hand in righteous declaration.

“Yeah!” Hayama said with the same enthusiasm, fist in the air.

“But how?” Nebuya asked, confused but determined to help his captain in any way.

“By confronting him of his bad ways!” Reo exclaimed, a steely glint in her eyes.

“And help him find a better, healthy relationship!” Hayama was now visibly vibrating.

“He’s obviously trapped in some situation and he needs to be broken free!”

“Shown the error of his way and lead down a path of redemption!”

“God help us all,” Mayuzumi deadpanned from the back.

OoO

“Sei-chan!” yelled Reo, storming towards him. She wasted no time and decided to confront him the next day before morning practice. Nebuya and Hayama approached at a slower pace but both looking just as unwavering. Akashi raised one eyebrow at them.

“You must stop your harmful ways right now!”

“What-”

Hayama jumped in before Akashi could complete his baffled question. “We know about your little secret relationship.”

Nebuya nodded coldly.

Akashi’s eyes lit up in recognition. “Oh, you know about-”

“And honestly, I’m appalled” Reo was so wound up that she even went as far as to stab Akashi in the chest. Hayama and Nebuya quickly lost their resolve in favour of staring at Reo in horror. No one dared to get close to Akashi, not for a friendly slap or high-five, and especially not to poke him in disapproval.

Akashi looked down at the offending finger before fixing Reo with a look that sent goosebumps down Hayama’s arms. “Excuse me.”

Nebuya visibly flinched at Akashi’s tone. “Uh oh.”

“Maybe we should stop.” Hayama was bouncing from foot to foot in nervous energy, literally feeling the air get colder as Akashi glared at Reo.

Reo clearly had a death wish, for she pushed on regardless. “To be involved with someone like that is honestly a disgrace. I thought you had better taste, or at the very least better tact.”

“Really.”

“Is his eye glowing?” Nebuya whispered to Hayama in fear.

“Told you,” Hayama hissed back.

Both of them took a few cautious steps back, leaving Reo to her suicidal mission.

Let it be said, if Reo felt passionate about something, nothing stood in her way. “We are all aware how emotionally stunted you are, but that does that excuse you’re behaviour. To go ahead with the relationship, where the long distance is most likely already a strain but to also be with someone who would stoop so low as to agree with it as well, is ludicrous. Sei-chan, you can do a lot better than him. You don’t need to settle for a vile bastard like him.”

“You do not get to speak about Kouki like this,” Akashi spat, looking ten seconds from murdering Reo.

Reo jaw dropped in disbelief. “You’re dating another person? Sei-chan, you’re no better than Kuroko!”

“What does Kuroko have to do with any of this?!”

Reo frowned at the frustrated confusion on Akashi’s face, finger dropping. “What do you mean?”

“For God’s sake,” Mayuzumi muttered, having entered the court around the middle of Reo’s rant and was fully done with the Uncrowned Kings’ shenanigans. “Are you dating Kuroko or not?”

“Of course not,” Akashi grounded out through clenched teeth.

Reo squinted at Akashi. “Then who are you dating?”

“Furihata Kouki.”

The Uncrowned Kings blinked in baffled union. “… Who?”

“Serin’s point guard.”

“I never thought Akashi would be into older men,” said Hayama.

“Not that one,” Akashi said with very little patience. Mayuzumi was honestly amazed that he had any. “The other one.”

Hayama blinked in surprise. “They had another point guard?”

“Oh,” Reo exclaimed. “They had the first year, right?”

Nebuya frowned. “The really scared one? But Akashi, why would you date someone so weak and-”

Hayama was very quick to jab Nebuya sharply in his sides as the murderous look came creeping back onto Akashi’s face.

“And very lovely,” Hayama rushed to continue, loudly over Nebuya’s pained wheezing. “And kind, and great in bed-”

Reo smartly stepped back onto Hayama’s foot before he did any further damage, a bright smile on her face as she smoothly finished, “And we’re really happy for you Sei-chan. We should meet him sometime.”

Akashi narrowed his eyes at the suggestion. “Over your dead body.”

“Isn’t the dead body supposed to be yours?” Hayama asked absently, more worried about his foot then what he was saying. That is until he looked up and saw Akashi’s irritated expression and hastily corrected himself, “Right, never mind, over mine.”

A/N: And that's basically it done. If anyone has some helpful criticism, it would be much appreciated. I don’t know if I should have a bonus meeting where they actually see Furi but I’m not too sure what to write for that. Suggestions?

[blahehblah]

Dancing with Danger - Part One

I made a new thing... I hope you all like it. Also, there are some words/sentences in French, and I’ve put the translation of the words/sentences after every paragraph. Monsieur and Mademoiselle will be used a lot as well. Enjoy! 

Adrian Reo walked up to her brother’s office with a calm confidence. She had a flicker of an idea why she was needed in his office. A new bodyguard, she supposed. 

Adrian’s last bodyguard died throwing himself in front of a bullet that was racing towards her. He was an idiot, she didn’t much care for him. But then again, everyone was an idiot in this business. Her brother’s business. 

Chance Reo was the leader of Chicago’s most notorious mafia. Their father, Walt Reo, had two different mistresses while he was married to his only wife. Thus resulting in the two half siblings. Chance was the spitting image of their father, brown eyes and blond hair. But Adrian took on her mother’s traits, blue eyes and red hair, the traits of Walt Reo’s favorite mistress. 

She climbed the stairs that led to the main room, where he did most of his dealings. She opened the door with a bang, and shouted at her brother sitting at his desk on the phone. She flopped into one of the chairs sitting across from her brother’s desk. 

“Hey squirt,” he said as he hung up the phone. “How have you been?” 

“Alright I guess, sprained my ankle in class a week ago,” She told him while picking at her nails. “Monsieur Delonchre wants me to take it slow so I don’t injure myself further.”

“Smart guy.” He sighed. He looked at Adrian through his lashes. “You know why’re here don’t you?” His arms crossed against his chest. 

“Yes Chance,” she sighed and straightened her back. “Sending one of your goons to come and protect me.” Adrian was fed up with this whole situation. She hated every single bit of it. She blamed her stupid father for getting him mixed up in all of this bullshit. 

“You know you need it.” He condescended. 

“Fuck off. I’m a ballet dancer, what kind of trouble can I get into?” Adrian got up from her seat, and walked over to the window, ignoring the pair of eyes that followed her along the way. “I just want to live my life the way I want to live it. I don’t need you to send someone with me wherever I go.”

“But I need you safe.” Chance sounded from behind Adrian, and his chair squeaked as he stood up from his desk. He grabbed Adrian by her shoulders and turned her to face him. “I need you out of harm's way, that way you can keep dancing.”

“I wouldn’t be in harm’s way if you just ignored our father when he asked you if you wanted to join.” Adrian avoided her brother’s gaze. 

“Yes you would. We both know that you’d still be on every gang’s hit list because of dad.” His grip on her shoulders tightened. “I’m the one keeping you safe.” 

Adrian wiggled out of his grip. “I don’t want you to keep me safe.” 

“Then you have to have someone else keep you safe for me.” Liam’s brown eyes clashed with her blue. “And he’s my best, which takes a great burden off of my shoulders.” He tried to pull Adrian in for a hug, but she pushed him away. “He’ll keep you safe.”

The guard entered the room with soft steps. “Sir,” he said, his low voice striking Adrian. 

She turned to face him. The man was tall, and dark. His face gave away no emotion, his dark hair was slicked back off of his face. His eyes scanned every inch of Adrian. Her face flushed, and her skin felt as if it was on fire. 

He was undeniably attractive. This was something Adrian was irked by. Why couldn’t he have been plain and boring? Now it was going to be harder for her to ignore him, especially when he was supposed to have his gaze locked on her at all times. 

“Adrian,” Chance turned to face his sister, and smiled slightly. He saw how she reacted to him. Chance locked eyes with the guard quickly, warning him not to start anything with his sister. He knew the consequences if he did. “This is your new guard.” Chance gestured to him. The man in the corner stood straighter, avoiding eye contact with Adrian for long periods of time. “His name is Calum Hood, and he’s the best of the best. He’ll keep you safe squirt.” Chance wrapped his arm around Adrian’s shoulder and pulled her closer to him. 

“Fuck off Chance,” Adrian escaped from his grasp, and walked toward the double doors that she walked through when she came in, for the fourth time this month. “C’mon bodyguard. I’m going to practice. Tired of seeing his face.”

She sauntered through the doors, Calum following closely behind her. She didn’t even need to look behind her to know that he was there. His stare on her back was enough to know that he was there. Once again her face flushed, and her skin felt like it was set ablaze. 

“You shouldn’t treat your brother that way.” His voice coming from behind her, made goosebumps appear on the back of her neck. “He’s trying to protect you. Wouldn’t you do the same for him?”

“Obviously. But I’m not the one who got into this business, that was his own choice, just like it was yours.” She tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “I don’t have to explain anything to you. I’m sure you understand this business more than I do.”

He didn’t say anything more after that. He just kept walking behind her. 

***

“Adrian, who’s the new meat?” Christina asked from the mirror bar. “Someone I can snack on?” She giggled and the rest of the girls followed with their snickers.

“He would chew you up and spit you out Chrissy.” Morgan snapped back at Christina and her ridiculous possy. 

Morgan was her best friend. The only person Adrian trusted with the secrets swirling in her brain. Morgan was tall, nearly five inches taller than Adrian. She had bright green eyes, and long blonde hair that trailed down to her waist. 

Morgan already had her tights and leotard on along with her ballet shoes. Adrian cursed herself for being underprepared, but the bodyguard meeting took longer than expected.

“Is he the new one?” Morgan asked when the two girls were far enough away from Christina and the others. “He’s kind of cute.”

Adrian only shook her head. Morgan was only saying that to be nice. “We both know you don’t think so.” She said to her friend with a smile.

“Yeah, yeah.” Morgan waved Adrian off. “I mean, not for me. He’d be cute for you.” Morgan did not fail to notice the slight blush on Adrian’s cheeks. “Yeah, definitely cute for you.”

“No way. Chance would have his hide.” Adrian paused, so she could pin her hair up. “Literally.” 

“C’mon! Live a little!” Morgan threw her hands into the air. “You don’t go back into Chance’s office for another month anyway. Fuck him. Then you won’t have any other thoughts about him.”

“You’ve tried that tactic M.” She looked at her best friend. “And look where it got you.” Morgan flushed. 

“Hey, don’t blame Ericka.” Morgan looked at Adrian pointedly, and Adrian looked back at her. “Yeah, you’re right. We’re too in our feelings for something like that. Besides, he looks really closed off to me.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Adrian stole a glance at Calum’s back. “He told me not to be so hard on Chance after we walked out of his office.”

“Really?” Morgan was bouncing on the balls of her feet. “What’s he sound like?”

“Kind of heavy, and dark. He’s got a slight accent, it’s too muddled to tell where he’s from though.” Adrian sighed. “I wish he wasn’t my bodyguard.”

“Good wish or bad wish?” 

“Both.” She looked wistfully at Calum’s back again. “It’s always both with the attractive ones.”

***

When the instructor entered the room, all of the girls who weren’t already on the bar rushed over so that they weren’t on the wrong side of his wrath. “Good Morning girls.” His thick accent ringing throughout the room.

His name was Monsieur Delonchre. He was the most famous ballet dancer in France. He traveled all through Russia and through Germany, he was only 25. Most of the time the girls did not understand a word he was saying, other than the basic terminology. But what he lacked in the correct pronunciation, he made up for in godly good looks. 

“Good Morning Monsieur Delonchre.” Christina said from her corner of the room. “Looking good today.” She wasn’t very sly, as she winked at the instructor from the other side of the room. 

“Flattery will get you know where Mademoiselle Christina.” His thick voice cutting through the room. “Where is my star pupil Adrian?” He could never pronounce his r’s correctly, so he tended to over roll the single r in Adrian’s name. 

“Here, Monsieur Delonchre.” Adrian stepped out from the line, and turned her body slightly to face the instructor. 

“There she is,” he walked towards Adrian, and she suppressed a shudder that ran through her body. His hands touched her shoulders, and she couldn’t have felt more uncomfortable. 

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask that you remove your hands from Miss Reo’s arm.” Calum’s voice rang in her ears. Adrian wanted to shudder again, but this time she wished she could welcome the feeling that was pulsing through her veins. 

“And who is this?” Once again, the instructor’s accent making it hard to understand what he was saying. 

“I am Miss Reo’s boyfriend.” His voice ran with such authority that even she didn’t want to question him. “She invited me to watch her practice.” The smile that appeared on his face, was so close to being a genuine smile that Adrian nearly believed him. 

“Mademoiselle Reo, is this true?” Monsieur Delonchre turned to Adrian with accusatory eyes. “Il est ton petit ami?” (He is your boyfriend?)

“Oui Monsieur. Nous venons juste de commencer à sortir.” She bowed her head, as a sign of respect. (Yes Sir. We’ve just started dating.)

The instructor huffed. “Assurez-vous qu'il n'interfère pas avec nos séances d'entraînement. Tu te souviens de notre affaire?” He sneered at Adrian, ignoring her attempt at peace. (Be sure he doesn’t interfere with our training sessions. Remember our deal?) 

“Oui Monsieur.” Her voice was quiet, and soft. Afraid of making the instructor angry with loud words and defiance. 

“Oui,” The instructor started. “Let us begin.” 

Calum didn’t take his eyes off of Adrian the entire time. 

***

“Drinks?” Morgan asked once they were out of class. “Logan’s is probably open.” 

“Logan’s is always open for you M.” Adrian laughed. “You’re their best customer.” Adrian was painfully aware of how close Calum was to her. The hair on the back of her neck stood up as his eyes scanned the area, all the while keeping an eye on her.

“Yeah, yeah.” Morgan said with a wave of her hand. “It’s not my fault they have good chicken strips and fries.” The two girls looked at each other and laughed. 

“I can’t tonight.” Adrian had informed Morgan once their laughter had died down. “I have to make sure Calum gets comfortable in his new room.” 

“Is he staying with you now?” Morgan asked with a shake of her head. “That’s ridiculous. Chance never made any of the other dipshits stay with you!” She looked at Calum briefly. “No offence.”

“None taken.” But his eyes flickered over to where Adrian was standing. “Why am I staying with you?” His dark orbs piercing into hers. 

“Chance texted me when I was in class. He said as an extra precaution he wants you to stay at my place because of the incident last week.” While she never wanted to look away from the eyes that held her attention, she couldn’t help but feel like he was hiding something in them.

“Yes of course,” he straightened his suit jacket, and looked to Adrian again. “Did he say anything else?”

“Only that he’d have someone deliver your things.” Her voice once again became soft, and delicate. She dared to peak at him from underneath her lashes, and saw he was already staring at her. 

“Good,” he then turned to face Morgan again. “We should be going. It was nice to meet you.”

Calum grabbed Adrian by her arm, and a shock was sent throughout her core. Goosebumps were rising on her arms where his hand was touching her skin. 

His ring clad fingers were rough and his hands were warm as Calum continued to drag Adrian away from Morgan. She let out a soft gasp at the skin to skin contact. She barely heard Morgan in the background shouting if they could do drinks the next night. 

“Keep up.” His voice rang through her ears and she realized she was tripping over her feet. She couldn’t do anything but nod. Her feet tried to keep up with Calum’s, but her mind was being slow, and she couldn’t make her mind get out of the haze that Calum had created. 

She ended up falling. But naturally Calum didn’t catch her, this wasn’t a romance novel. He just scoffed, and rolled his eyes. “I told you to keep up.”

The haze in her mind disappeared. She looked up at him. “Yeah, well I wouldn’t have fallen if you hadn’t dragged me across the concrete.” She stood and walked at a faster pace than he was originally walking at.

“It’s not safe for you to me without protection.” He told her, easily keeping step with her. “I am your bodyguard, I am supposed to protect you.”

“I don’t need it.”

“Clearly you do. You almost got shot last week.”

“Yeah? What does that have to do with anything?” Adrian asked him, throwing her hands in the air, nearly hitting his face. “I almost got shot because my brother is in a gang,” She stopped in her tracks. “But I bet you know everything about being shot at yeah? Bet you get shot at as much as I do.” Adrian sneered at him. “I bet you’re just as high up on a hit list as I am. Want to know why?” She took one step closer to him and pointed at his chest. “Because you’re my brother’s best man.”

Calum stepped toward Adrian. The fire in his brown eyes scorching her. “I’m up on a hit list, because I’m good at my job little girl.” He grabbed her wrist. “Don’t speak of my boss that way.” He started pulling her away. 

Adrian yanked her wrist out of Calum’s grasp. “I’ll speak about my brother however the fuck I want to.” She spat. “He’s my brother. And you’re nothing but a simple guard, doing his bidding.”

“You’re going to regret that.” He turned to face her once more.

“How? Because you can’t touch me without getting into trouble with Chance.” She took a brave step towards him. “You can’t do anything but stand there.”

Taglist: @rosesfromcth @calssunflower @rosegoldquintis @calumsnatchedmyheart @i-am-just-trash-sorry @findingliam-o @calum-uncrowned @vintagehoods @opinionatedpisces-official and @cakesunflower because she was really excited for this idea. 

[unrighteousbooks]

Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey

This is the third part of a long story. What follows was told to me by a customer, and the issues he discusses -- art and character -- are things that I, too, have been thinking about. I have been thinking about them enough that I went on what could be described as a pilgrimage, and I will discuss that in the fourth part of this story.

This, however, is his story. After he told me, I asked him to put it in writing. It is about someone named Bill and someone named Ted, and although I once met two men by those names (see the previous post) I am unfamiliar with the individuals he discusses here.

* * * * *

I grew up in the age of 8-track tapes. Remember 8-tracks? I saw one in your shop once, you know. One 8-track tape, just sitting on a shelf. Not important, I guess, but yeah. The great thing about 8-tracks was that you could play them in your car. I started buying 8-tracks long before I even had a car, just because I was looking forward to the day, when I'd be sitting there in my own car, looking cool, popping in a 8-track and cruising around town, and probably I'd have a really cool car, like a Plymouth Barracuda, or an AMC Javelin.

Anyway, 8-tracks: I had a whole cabinet full of them. Bachman-Turner Overdrive, Kansas, REO Speedwagon, Nazareth. But you know who I really loved? Ted Nugent. He was a fantastic guitarist. He was precise and lightning fast, and his songs had fun, catchy rhythms. Lots of the lyrics were crass and sorta vulgar, but you didn't care, because you knew it was all just a little silly. I mean, how can you get all worked up about a song called Cat Scratch Fever? You didn't expect anything thoughtful or eloquent from Ted Nugent. You just expected lots of energy and good guitar. That was Ted. You didn't take him seriously, because hey, he was just being Ted.

Meanwhile, there was also Bill.

Bill was Bill Cosby. He was a brilliant comedian, and the ironic thing is that great comedians are serious. Underneath all the jokes, there's something genuine. Good comics point out the strange things that we do without thinking, and they remind us that we're all kind of nuts. I had an 8-track tape of Cosby, too. Can't remember the name of it now, but he talked about the Revolutionary War, talked about Superman, talked about Noah getting instructions to build the ark... all kinds of stuff. Cosby was hilarious. He had these wonderful stories about his brother, and his parents, and then later on he had brilliant routines about being a father. A while after that, in the Eighties, he had a TV show. It was warm and funny and thoughtful. In the Eighties, TV didn't get much better than that show.

Now, I've never been particularly interested in celebrities, beyond the thing that made them celebrities. By that I mean, if someone was a good musician, I was interested in their music, but nothing else. I couldn't care less about what kind of exotic sports car they drove, or their supermodel spouse, or whatever. If I had paid a little more attention, maybe I wouldn't have been so disappointed later on. All I knew about Ted Nugent was his music. I started to lose interest because he started to get repetitive, and when the guitar didn't hold your interest, you noticed the lyrics more. And once you've heard the words to "Wango Tango," you can't unhear them. You're gonna wonder if the guy singing them has regressed to a mental age of 12 or 13. Even so, the crappy music he did later didn't erase the good music that he did earlier, right?

Here's the weird thing, though: Somewhere along the way, people started listening to what Nugent said, even when he wasn't talking about music. He was babbling nonsense about how war was coming to America, and how he'd would wind up dead or in jail if Obama got re-elected... weird, batshit-crazy gibberish. But apparently a lot of people thought he made sense, and conservatives started trotting him out for rallies and conferences. It was weird as hell.

And meanwhile, there's Cosby: Cosby, who seemed like the polar opposite of Nugent, until we found out that he'd been drugging and molesting women for decades. We'd been looking at his work as a comedian, and we thought we knew him. We felt betrayed when we found out that the actor had only been acting.

Bogus, right? Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey. The short trip from being respected to being reviled. But that brings us to an important question: Can we separate their work from everything else? And is that even something that we should do?

Maybe we have to realize that art and artists are separate and distinct, and they have to be judged differently. A work of art -- whether it's a song, or a painting, or a monologue about giving your kids cake for breakfast -- that work can stand alone. You hear two songs by the same artist, and you love one and hate the other. That's OK. The existence of the lousy song doesn't change anything about the great one. Every work of art succeeds or fails on its own merits, and in that sense, art is simple.

Artists, on the other hand, are complicated. People are complicated. We have to judge artists the same way we judge everyone else. We'll find that they have virtues and faults, just like the rest of us. But once we've seen someone's dark side, it's not easy to ignore. I still have an old CD of Nugent's first album, but I can't listen to it anymore, because it just makes me sad to think about what he's become. The same with Cosby. I remember laughing so hard at some of his old routines, but if I listened to them now, knowing what I know, it wouldn't be the same.

What makes this even harder is that there's this little voice in the back of my head, asking: Is this fair to them? To Bill and Ted, I mean. See, when you admire someone, you don't want to know about their flaws. And when dislike someone, you don't want to know about their virtues. Once you decide you're ready to write someone off, the last thing you want to do is to admit that there might still be some good somewhere inside them.

That little voice keeps reminding me: You're not perfect either. I'd love to be able to say that I'd never done a bad thing in all my life, but I can't. If I'm going to be judged, I want to be judged on everything. Take the bad into consideration, because yeah, sometimes I've fucked up. But I think I've done a few good things, too, and if your verdict is going to be fair, you need to consider as much evidence as you can.

I don't mean that everybody gets a free pass, so long as they did something good at some point in their life. But I do think that if you want to know where someone stands, you need to be able to trace all their steps. The good, the bad, the ugly, and all the stuff in between... it's all part of the same journey.

* * * * *

After he told me this, I realized that there were certain ideas that I had been struggling with for a very long time. I began thinking about a particular story, and a particular person.

One reason that I love bookstores is that they are the perfect place to ponder ideas. Being surrounded by books inspires us to think beyond the here and now. In this instance, however, I realized that there would be a better place to think about the things I needed to consider. In this case, I needed only one book.

I grabbed the book, closed the shop, and headed out the door. I needed to visit a place called Graceland.