#but I fucking love Lizardfolk and Clerics

[stevesaxetogrind]

The Spicy Six as a D&D Party

(as per my previous post)

[lunalikestowriteanddraw]

First impressions of EOM (after finishing episode 1)

Story thus far: ?????? How can I verbally express how much I love it so far????? The train???? The mystique????? The conductor (who may or may not also be the narrator)????? The fucking MOON???? I just. I can’t verbally express how much this campaign already has me hooked. This campaign got me hooked faster than Icebound did, and I thought that Icebound hooked me pretty quickly (since I was all on board for Icebound by the end of Ep 1). But EOM? I was on board (heh) by the time the train first appeared to collect Jericho. Oooohhhh I’m so intrigued.

Jericho: I love him. He’s, admittedly, the character I knew the most about going into EOM, and I still knew next to nothing about him. I just knew that he was a living scarecrow and I knew about Virgil. I did NOT know about the demon, holy fuck. I’m curious. Also…he’s just so…I wanna hug him. So much. Poor guy deserves it. Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, I think it was inevitable I’d immediately fall in love with him. I mean, the first clue should’ve been that I immediately fell in love with Torbek (to the point where he literally got me into LOA in the first place), who is also a sad character with…oof. Iykyk. But also Jericho was, admittedly, the main reason why I finally decided on EOM as I was done catching up with Icebound. With the mixture of the couple of EOM shorts I’ve seen revolving around Jericho in some way, the bunch of Jericho fanart I’ve seen on here, and the Jericho song they revealed during the anniversary stream? Yeah…it was inevitable. Idk why I’m even surprised (actually, I think I’m mostly shocked that I fell in love with him the moment he started speaking)

Lethica: when Andy said during their BG3 gameplay on the stream on Saturday, that he was surprised that Lethica and Shadowheart’s stories were eerily similar, with Mace then asking if Shart was a cleric of Shar, I didn’t even begin to wonder as to WHY Mace even thought that. I was just shocked that he was right on the money for Shart. Then comes my absolute bamboozlement when reading Lethica’s card, seeing that she was ALSO a cleric of Shar, that suddenly Mace’s question and Andy’s comment made sense. Character-wise, she’s interesting so far. I love that she was immediately just. Very kind to Jericho. I’m interested to see where her character goes.

Marius, Briggsy, and Farryn: don’t have much to talk about either of these characters so far, so I’m combining them. Like Lethica, I weirdly love the fact that he was immediately very warm to Jericho upon meeting him. Also that he’s a very…hopeful person? It’s hard to say what I’m trying to get here, I’m just intrigued by his standpoint, and his relation to Lathander. All I really knew about Marius before going into EOM was his ship with Lethica, and I find it kinda funny that it’s—quite literally—Light x Darkness, just because of their respective gods. Very fun. I like Briggsy’s personality so far. And also, if I had a nickel for every time Richie played a lizardfolk warlock with some relation to death, well…I’d have 2 nickels. That I know of, anyway. And Farryn…I’m sorry but I didn’t even know you existed until I saw you paired against Gideon in the “which is gayer” LOA polls that’s going around. You’re cool so far tho. Like the accent.

Tl:dr: the story has me hooked, I will die for Jericho if he asked (tho he probably wouldn’t bc he’s such a sweetheart), Lethica is really cool so far, and the others are there too, I guess.

[tsurugis]

i wanna write little short things on the side for all my other characters without losing focus on these fuckin novels with the 4 og ones

cause we got, in their original simple dnd forms but I've already talked about them:

fenriel the druid white dragonborn

ozadius the tiefling wizard

atreyu the drow/wood elf warlock

ithiliel the drow/wood elf draconic sorcerer

but i also got:

hadrey the non binary tiefling swamp druid who has a backstory weirdly similar to astarion (without the vampire thing) where he was found as an orphan kid and used to lure murder targets for this guy who he has the big stockholm syndrome with fjjfjf when he got old enough the guy is like you gotta start killing them yourself and he does for a while but then cant take it anymore and shit happens. larian and i had a similar idea for a twist on the charlatan backround haha uwu murder but he's the goofiest sweetest boi and he has a raven familiar named verity

kaitru the sad little absolutely feral goblin barbarian boi who hates and wants to fucking kill all goblins because traumatic revenge tm

suri the teeny feral water genasi girl great old one warlock who was raised by mermaids and like kills for fun while giggling and shit inspired by my old friend savannah jfjdjd who meets hadrey and he sees his old self in her and they becomes friends

barrick the color changing lizardfolk bard who plays feral music and hangs out with kaitru fjfj

mogi the kenku nature cleric who has big religious trauma

and g'loob the grung (fuckin frog people) artificer who sounds like the feral guy from titan ae jsjsjs he loves to cook weird shit for people and make experimental alchemical brews and test them on everyone and he and mogi are in love JSJSJ

[ike-mcswains-mortician]

OKOKOKO SOOOO!!

This campaign is gonna be set in fantasy/sci-fi, with machines and things but they’re all powered by magic which is supplied by the government. Apparently they get the magic from a big hourglass which nobody has ever seen.

The plot starts out with the party being summoned to the government’s crime unit and are told ‘hey we kind of have a LOT on our hands rn so can you track down these low class criminals?’ and a lot of the party has been sent to do community service and this counts as that.

So the low class criminals consist of Magnus, Bav, Reverence, and scales and tails who are twins. Soo a quick run down on each one.

Magnus is a human warlock who can be identified since he has a burn mark across his face, across his mouth. Like the stitches on zombies? And his crime is that he was accused of murder and he was found at the crime scene sooo.

Bav is a half orc druid who was accused of murdering her younger brother. And she’s kind of like karlach from bg3

Reverence is a tiefling cleric and she was tossed out of her church because she’s actually a multi-class cleric/warlock (not sure if you can do that but uhhh yeah) and she committed arson

Scales and Tails are lizardfolk twins who wear identical gold bracelets on their wrists. Scales is more of an outgoing kid, kind of like lark and sparrow and seems to have no fear and tails seems to have only fear. (That’s because Tails died when he was younger and Scales sold his fear for tails to come back as a hologram in the bracelets but that’s a secret for later heheh)

The main villain is Songbird, an ex-singer (pop idol?) who murdered a group of government officials. He keeps his identity behind his porcelain mask. He’s a water genasi bard. And he actually dated and was engaged to Magnus at the hight of his fame and while magnus was still working for the government. Songbird has a origami bird tattooed on his neck and leaves origami birds at the crime scenes of his murders. Oh he’s a serial killer now i forgot to add

(Magnus’s soul is tied to the couple’s engagment rings and if he falls in love with anyone else, his heart will explode. Songbird cursed him lmao)

SORRY THIS IS SO LONG THIS HAS JUST BEEN FLOATING IN MY MIND FOR AGESSS

OH MY GOD. HOLY FUCK. I HAD TO TAKE A LAP AAAAAAAAH THIS IS SO COOL RAGHHHH I AM BITING EACH ONE OF THE SILLIES /aff

^live footage of me reading that btw

ok so!!!! coherent thought time!!! fantasy technology as a setting FUCKS SO HARD i always get treasure planet vibes and that is literally always perfect vibes.

reverence sounds sick as FUCK and also yes you can have a warlock/cleric multiclass!!! my beloved @lumi-lyn played a cleric in our campaign who multiclassed to warlock about halfway through!! and it was a great move so reverence is going to be SUCH a fun character i can already tell <3

so. listen. you didn’t HAVE to go for my throat with scales and tails like that /pos SELLING HIS FEAR??? FOR HIS SIBLING???? FUCK yeah that’s major lark and sparrow vibes and it hurts so bad but also like. in the best way

magnus being bound to the BBEG with the engagement ring got me REALLY good like i actually had to take a minute cause like?? that’s SUCH a good plot point?? the tension?? the toxicity?? eating that shit up nom nom

on that note SONGBIRD SOUNDS SO FUCKIN SICK AAAH— like ok the hiding his identity behind his fame ???? and it’s porcelain so like it’s fragile but beautiful and AHHH why do i want to write an analysis of a character that i only learned existed 5 minutes ago /pos

ok WOW that was long sorry!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LORE I AM GOING TO BE THINKING ABOUT THIS NONSTOP AAAAAH THIS IS SOO GOOD <3

[de-pointe-du-lioncourt]

Some things I’d like to see in BG3 (even though it will never happen)

Not saying anything new here but more animalistic races:

Smaller reptilian races like Lizardfolk or Kobold. Kobolds are already in the game like. Come on.

Firbolgs. Everyone loves them now that Critical Role has been using them a lot more. I love seeing things from previous D&D editions that have been forgotten getting the love they deserve. I also enjoy how they went from mostly human looking to Bovine-esque.

Shifters. I admit my vision for Shifters is probably way different than canon, I see them way less human than in the pictures I’ve seen. More feline or rodent like faces, furrier, etc. Great for lycanthropy which was going to be a thing considering the scrapped werewolf companion. Also apparently there’s a lot of them near Baldur’s Gate in the Werewoods.

Simic Hybrids. Yeah yeah they’re from Ravnica but you can make it make sense. The Gith can travel through different planes. There’s already cults and guilds and crazy wizards doing wacky science experiments so the Simic Combine making an appearance in Faerûn isn’t far fetched.

Other, not animalistic races:

Warforged. From Eberron, not the Forgotten Realms. There’s already robots in the wizard tower in act two and Sorcerous Sundries in act three, both of which use magic to pilot them. Then there’s the steel watch in act three which uses tadpoles brains to pilot them. I don’t think an explanation as to how Warforged (or at least a version of them) appeared in Faerûn would be very difficult to come up with.

Changelings. Also from Eberron and tbh… I don’t have a real case for them I just think they’re neat. I could see them be home brewed into another Underdark race though tbh.

Aasimar. Totally doable. We have Aylin already, we have Marcus who is like a fucked up twisted version of an Aasimar. They would be great.

Genasi. Technically we can make them in all but name. Skin, eye, and hair colors to match whichever element/subrace you want. Classes and subclasses and spells and even gear to give you a whole element theme. Might as well have just made them a playable race.

Classes/subclasses:

If I’m being honest I’m happy with what they picked. Except I don’t understand why they didn’t add Artificers. We have all these gnomes. The Guild Artisan background. All these robots that I mentioned earlier. Gortash being Gortash with all his designs and building and shit. Let me give Durge a gun.

I will never understand why they didn’t give us the Loviatar option for Clerics or the domain of Pain.

Also give Paladins the option to choose a deity so you can be a Paladin of whatever deity you want without having to dip into Cleric. But make it a choice because not all Paladins are followers of a god. Also I want more oaths.

Make Warlock patrons actually get involved more. Not like Mizora level but still… maybe I’m just not far enough into my warlock.

Backgrounds, character lore, etc:

Why can’t I have a Tiefling from Elturel when like 90% of the game’s Tiefs are refugees from there. Why can’t I have a character from Waterdeep or Candlekeep. One thing that kinda annoys me about the game is that other than brief mentions or some books about other places, it really feels like Baldur’s Gate is it. Which is funny because you don’t even actually reach Baldur’s Gate until act 3! And then Menzoberranzan is treated like it’s super close but actually it’s far as fuck and there’s totally other Drow cities that are closer. My point is I wish we could choose where our characters are from.

Going back to my Genasi point, pretty much we can already make them. They could just. Add some flair options. Could also work for my Paladin point, give us flair to choose from to label your character as “Paladin of *whatever deity*.” I’m sure there’s other flair options that people would enjoy, even if it doesn’t have any effect on the game. I think it would be good for role playing purposes. What if I wanted to label my high elf as a sun or moon elf? Or have a Shadar-Kai elf? Or say that my wood elf is a wild elf? Literally just having it in my character description would make me happy.

Okay I’m done. For now.

[b0nelessdoodles]

Harrixon, that’s not what she asked you you brilliant idiot.

I’ll never be over their interactions through this whole night. Sometimes you just gotta stick a goddess in your companion whose relationship with you is tense and then use her juiced up flaming goddess feathers to stop a floating city from falling! 

[lorspolairepeluche]

SUPERLATIVES!! 11, 15, 24, andddd 50!

WHO...

11. ...is the biggest flirt, or has had the most romantic stuff going on?

Biggest flirt is definitely Halla. Will hit on anything hot and mildly intelligent. Sammy's a close second. As for most romance going on? In an actual campaign, probably either Noa, who fell in love with the daughter of a tribal chief after saving her soul from being trapped in an inanimate object, or Daga, who had a sweet budding mututal-crush thing with Mirik, a lizardfolk cleric in the party, until Mirik sacrificed himself to ensure the death of someone who would have handily killed the entire party, thus plunging Daga into grief, depression, and rage. I think Noa wins.

15. ...lies the least?

Dring. They often don't see the point. People will find out anyway. They grew up in a large, close family unit of kenku where anything overheard could be perfectly repeated, so someone always found out your secrets. But also they don't like lying all that much. They're just a very honest bird.

24. ...would win a battle royale with all the others?

OH JEEZ. Honestly? Probably Sammy. Assuming level 20, Sammy's resistant to all damage but psychic while raging (double-resistance to fire damage), and also, uh, they're kind of the favorite of a goddess. A minor goddess, certainly, but she's very much still a fuckin' deity, and she loves her Samsam.

50. ...is or was your favorite to play in combat?

HMMM. Toss-up: either Daga or Cohr. Daga because they did all their attacks singing, and Cohr because as a knowledge cleric they were pretty fucking versatile. Only thing they couldn't really do was stealth.

character superlatives

[draayder]

On a scale from “dignified ethereal being” to “feral trash gremlin”, where would you put your D&D characters?

oh hell yeah

0 is completely dignified, 10 is completely feral

Zarillian

They/Them air genasi bard, avid shawm player, compulsive liar, excellent gambler, unexpected champion for warforged rights, and all around morally dubious person. Might have been flirting with some kind of very very powerful fae

Zarillian is a 2 because they keep their shit together and are beautiful but they quickly give away their pettiness

Foxglove

He/Him warforged open palm monk, built to be a sexbot but his creator fucked up and rolled his standards over in her attempt to make him have 0 standards: he's got impossibly high standards now and an extreme repulsion to sex. He can only speak in a sexy monotone and can produce oil of slipperiness from his mouth once per day. My longest running DnD character! His campaign was like, 2 years!

Personality-wise he's a solid 8.5 but if on first impressions he'd probably come across as a 0. He's very romance novel cover until he starts stealing things for no good reason

Tokunaga

He/Him half orc (half tiefling) storm herald barbarian. A big beefy yakuza-type guy with a big gay crush on his crime boss. Dumb gay asshole supreme. Sick tats, likes so """"hide"""" his flail down the front of his pants

He's not afraid to get dirty and cause problems but I don't think he super revels in that sorta thing, I'll put him at 7

Amara

She/Her Necromancer wizard, unrepentantly evil and uses an army of skeletons for fully automated gay luxury hedonism. Got into a competition with a fellow party member for the affections of a hot lady who turned out to be a ghost qq

She is a 0, no question

Saul

genderfluid lizardfolk hextech warlock, he's a big purple gator crimeboss with an eldritch tommy gun and is here to talk to the CEO of racism. He also is working to unionize maids

he literally lives in the sewers but he's trying to get OUT of that so I think he's like a 5 he will 100% bite you no matter what he claims about being civilized

Jugg

She/Her Bugbear grave cleric that I love with my whole heart. She eats bugs (because she figures bugbears are named like anteaters), she's not very good at learning things, loves to drink and swear and gamble and fuck, she's built like a tank and she uses a polearm along with her bugbear reach to have a fuck off huge threat radius, and she's surprisingly serious when it comes time to actually do clerical duties. Calls herself Jugg because "she's great at holding liquor"

a perfect 10 in terms of feral trash gremlin, she's just a very large one

[xilienmultiverse-archived]

DnD Masterlist

Because I fucking love those Dungeons and Dragons Monster X Race: Dragonborn (Bronze) Class: Storm Herald Barbarian, Level 8 (Sea), Samurai Fighter, Level 10, Monk, Level 2  Gigan Race: Lizardfolk (Possible Half-Aarakocra?) Class: Eldritch Knight Fighter, Level 20 Gigamoth Race: Aasimar (Scourge Aasimar) Class: Death Domain Cleric, Level 10, Oathbreaker Paladin, Level 10 X Race: Mindflayer (not a playable race i know, but... come on) Class: Way of the Sun Soul Monk, Level 11, Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer (Bronze), Level 9 The Controller Race: Mindflayer (Ulitharid) Class: School of Enchantment Wizard, Level 15, College of Whispers Bard, Level 5 (Instrument is his voice) Gabara Sr. Race: Lizardfolk Class: Storm Herald Barbarian (Sea), Level 14, Circle of Spores Druid, Level 6 Mothra Leo Race: Aasimar (Protector Aasimar) Class: Circle of Stars Druid, Level 20 Berserk Race: Warforged Class: Artillerist Artificer, Level 15, Mastermind Rogue, Level 5 Beelzemon Race: Tiefling, Bloodline of Baalzebul Class: Sharpshooter Fighter, Level 10, Hexblade Warlock, Level 10 (Pact of the Blade) Battra Race: Aasimar (Fallen Aasimar) Class: Divine Soul Sorcerer, Level 14, Circle of Wildfire Druid, Level 6

[just-binch-thoughts]

I sent myself this ask because I'm bored. I will reply to this ask, because, I'm bored. I will most likely do something stupid in the response, like show one of my favorite gifs, or say "fuck" a lot, or show a meme I made in the last few days, because I've been making memes. They're mostly dnd memes about my party and DM but I'm really excited about my character so I might just ramble about that. Yeah imma do dat.

This is one of my favorite gifs.

I don’t feel like saying fuck

My character is a kenku (bird person) named Cure. Kenku don’t have their own voice, don’t have creativity and were banished to the land of DnD by their god, who didn’t like them collecting shinies. Which, shame on you god, birds are meant to collect shinies! It’s in their fucking nature! Fuck you god! please keep in mind that this asshole god who banished my babies is not at all a god that people actually believe in except if... you believe in dnd gods....

Anyway, Cure has a whole plague doctor outfit, which is incredibly funny because kenku have BIG BEAK. + plague doctor mask, how the fuck does that fit. HOW. They’re a divine soul sorcerer, which is magic dude that heals, which funnily enough didn’t develop because of the VERY OBVIOUS part of him being a PLAGUE DOCTOR. He introduces himself by saying “I am the cure” which is not at all a reference to a certain SCP I forgot the number of. He’s gone adventuring because his sister, Remedy, (Fight me fuckers, her name is Remedy) is sick and he’s looking for a.... he’s..... his name. It’s not hard to understand. fuck. So she’s the reason he’s gone and focus on the healings madjiks. Which I realized a few sentences ago also fits with the whole plague doctor thing. Also, since he’s a sorcerer, he’s got mainly charisma which I rolled a fucking 18 for. Which is HIGH. So I’m going to abuse that charisma to seduce, and my pick up line is “You are my cure”, and I’ve got no idea where he heard that but I like it. just think of a big bird with arms and no wings and a plague doctor outfit looking you deep in the eyes, leaning slightly forward and saying seductively in a preferably deep voice “You are my cure”. Now I’m not a furry nor turned on by that but it’s funny so I’m definitely doing that. Fuck the DM. Don’t fuck the DM he’s my friend and also creepy. But fuck his plans for the game! So, since it’s an aberration campaign apparently, and I had to pick a language, I picked deep speech as one of Cure’s languages, and I’ve made a meme that explains his predicament with that, so I’m going to place that here.

Poor Cure. I’m laughing at you and am not at all feeling empathy towards your situation. You are a joke made when I was stuck on the question of what my character is and everyone agreed that it was a good idea. You are a mistake. I love you, you piece of shit. Good boy, have some bread. *throws the crows some bread*

I’ve thought about making Cure family of my other kenku character, Hoot, (yes I’ve made a crow person and named them Hoot, this is DnD I will fuck with names whenever I want) but I don’t think that’ll be a good idea since hoot is a fucking basic binch. Her motivation is “getting wings”, which is so basic and lame for a kenku like wtf binch get your shit straight. Hoot is also fun, she hates the gods for what they did to her people and she’s a druid trying to mix her crow form with her normal bird-person form and give herself wings. Which is very different from Cure, who is a sorcerer that’s got “favored by the gods” which is funny because kenku, and apperently sorcerers can get magical wings late-game? That’s what my DM said, so Cure has more chance to actually get wings than the one who’s goal it is to get wings, but damn if his sister doesn’t die she’s going to be my next character and you bet she’s going to be a bard. Or a cleric.

I’ve formed a deep love for kenku the moment I heard of them, but it’s better than being a goddamn tabaxi lizardfolk because you can’t fucking choose between the 2 *glares at very specific party member*

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Great Evil For the Greater Good.

[Context: Most of my on-again-off-again group got back together to try and wrap up a few loose ends, and have just finished a killing a recurring lizardfolk antipaladin who has had a tendency of not staying dead. Party consists of a LN dwarf cleric (DC), LG aasimar paladin (AP), N half-orc ranger (OR), and NG kobold rogue (KR). Of particular note: These guys, especially the cleric and paladin, are notorious for taking down anything dealing with the undead.]

AP: This will not be the end of him. We know this to be true, his death at our hands has never kept him dead.

KR: Can we burn the body and scatter the ashes?

OR: We tried that before you signed on. It didn’t work. I think a druid on his team actually collected enough of the ashes to reincarnate him because he was a hobgoblin the first three times we saw him.

AP: Is there nothing we can do to end his tyranny?

DC: [Flipping through spell list] I have an idea. I don’t like it, [AP] will like it even less, but I see no alternative.

AP: Do tell?

DC: No. I’m going to advise you to leave once I begin, you’ll be compelled to try to stop me otherwise. We’ll need to rest here overnight so I can refresh my spells, though.

OR: [To DM] What’s it like out there now, are his flunkies still prowling around?

DM: You have no idea, you’ve been stuck in here with the antipaladin. You haven’t heard anything from outside since he dropped, though.

AP: I know not what you intend, [DC], but I shall stand watch at the door once you begin.

DC: Outside of it, please.

AP: As you wish. [OOC] So, we camp here for the night and [DC] does his whole magical plan thing? What are you doing, anyway?

DC: [OOC] Trust me, [AP] won’t like it.

DM: Okay, camping out? [General assenting noises.] Okay. I won’t bother asking about watch shifts, nothing comes in to bother you. Next morning happens. What do y’all do?

DC: [OOC] I prepare spells.

OR: [OOC] I get breakfast started.

AP: [OOC] I deliberately withhold preparing spells for the moment and get armored up.

KR: [OOC] I check the room for loot. Can I take 20 on that while they’re getting setup for [DC]’s magic trick?

DM: Go ahead. You find [looong loot list, punctuated with calls of “Dibs!” “Mine!” “…Ewww…” “Sweet!” etc.]. After all of this happens, [DC], you’re up.

AP: If it is time, I shall wait outside and ensure that no one, not even myself, can interrupt your efforts. Know that I wish you well, regardless of the outcome.

DC: Thanks, [AP], you know how much that means to me. I can only hope that sentiment remains once I have finished. [OOC] I shake his hand and make sure the door is closed behind him.

AP: [OOC] I’m going to AFK for a few, I’m not there right now anyway.

KR: [OOC] We’ll fill you in!  Meanwhile, I find a good spot to watch. I’m curious as hell!

OR: [OOC] Me too, on both accounts! Just what is our Lawful Anal cleric up to?

DN: [OOC] I take out my Staff of Earth and Stone and spend a charge to cast passwall into the floor, then throw the body in.

DM: Okay, that happens.

KR: [OOC] That’s not…

DC: [OOC] Not done yet! I climb down and dig out an area big enough to fit the body.

OR: [OOC] Can we look down over the edge to see this?

DM: You can do that, it probably takes fifteen minutes to dig the grave.

DC: [OOC] I drag the body into the grave and look up. [IC] Step back. I want none to see this.

OR: [OOC] Awww. Okay, I step back, and I drag [KR] back with me by the tail if I have to.

KR: Ow! Hey!

DC: [OOC]I cast animate dead.

DM: [Sputters] You what!?

KR & OR: [Bluescreen]

DC: I order the skeleton to stay in the grave and attack any who approach it after we’ve left, then climb back up and dismiss the passwall to cover it all up. [IC] We are done here. Do not ask what I have done, that burden is mine to bear and is between me and my god. I can only pray that He understands that while I have done a great evil, it was solely for the purpose of furthering the greater good.

DM: [More sputtering] Okay, um… yeah, it lays in the grave and doesn’t move while you climb up. Your god is extraordinarily not happy with you right now.

KR: [OOC, looking up spells] No reincarnation… no raise dead… no resurrection until the skeleton is destroyed… Clever! …[AP] is going to murder the ever-loving fuck out of [DC] if he ever finds out what he did; you know that, right?

OR: [OOC] …I got nothin’. Literally. My brain needs to reboot before I can even try thinking in character again after that.

DM:  …Aaand so much for that character sheet; farewell Gurak, you will be missed…

AP: [OOC] Back, guys. So, what did I miss?

[obsoletesystem]

D&D Ask Meme

@wisdom-fangs​ asked me to do all the questions of this D&D ask post. So I did. 1. A favorite character you have played. I really like playing monstrous characters. Currently in Adventurers League, I play Frattek Venvaris, bugbear rogue/barbarian, who is a delightfully goofy character. But I also miss playing Bajur Mashoir, a very charismatic lizardfolk "voodoo" shaman, whose catchphrase was: "As you can see, I am an alligator, sir..." spoken in a thick southern brawl. 2. Your favorite character that someone else has played. During a one shot the guy that played an evil halfling warlock sacrificed himself to blow up the big bad with a block of dynamite. The true MVP. 3. Your favorite side quest. Idk. 4. Your current campaign. I DM a homebrew campaign, in which the party is stuck between sides in a war between the local Jarl and a fey duchess who has taken over a part of the woods. I also participate as a player in a slight homebrewed Salt Marsh campaign, in which I play a tiefling cleric of Pelor. She's got a Sad Backstory. 5. Favorite NPC. The Loathesome Gribble, an NPC in the game I DM, who is a very small tiefling sorcerer with an immense knife collection and a four-armed aasimar monk girlfriend. He is found in the most of unlikely places and his signature spell is "Gribble's Hand of Sand", which may or may be not magical, as it blinds a creature with sand, but the material component is just a handfull of coarse sand. 6. Favorite death (monster, player character, NPC, etc). The druid in our home game charged into giant stag form at a huge burning construct (The Burning Man from Burning Man, but moving), missed his attack, upon which the Burning Man rolled nat 20's on BOTH ITS ATTACKS. No advantage, no nothing, just two straight 20's. He grabbed the stag by its antlers, turned its head 360 degrees, and dropped a flaming, mutilated dwarf to the ground. 7. Your favorite downtime activity. I always like to do something that tells a little bit about the culture of the creature I play. When I was on haitus because of school, I described how Frattek had spend some time with his little bugbear niece, and had just returned from a fun little war (seeing as bugbears love to fight). 8. Your favorite fight/encounter. We had to fight a vampire spawn in a dank, dark basement, but it was light outside, and Frattek is incredibly good at grappling creatures, so we dragged the vampire out from his basement into the sunlit street, and then made a run for it as we had broken into a house. 9. Your favorite thing about D&D. Coming together with friends and not drinking (a lot) or smoking weed. I like doing those things too, but it is also fun to just hang out and play games where heavy drinking is not really handy. 10. Your favorite enemy and the enemy you hate the most. Dragons are the best, spellcasters are the worst. Spellcasting Dragons are the bees knees. My players, however, are going to hate a certain spellcaster very much. Once they find out... 11. How often do you play and how often would you ideally like to play? Usually once a week, but I'd love to be able to balance twice a week. One day as player, one day as DM. 12. Your in game inside jokes/memes/catchphrases and where they came from. "Name and occupation, please" comes from when we played Pathfinder, and one of the characters died, but I didn't want to get rid of him yet or he was set up to be reincarnated or some shit idk. Anyway, his soul arrives in purgatory, which turns out to be this bureaucratic office, where he has to stand in line for a long, long time, before arriving at a booth/desk type situation, in which an Ophanim angel (one of them burning wheels full of eyes) floats that asks with a bored sigh "Name and occupation, please". The player answered, and was set up for reincarnation, which involved shooting his soul from a cannon/drop tube into the unborn baby of a local woman. The child grows up unnaturally quickly, and because it has the soul of a mature orc barbarian, it is more than a little trouble. Nephertheless, the "Name and occupation, please" gag remained forever. 13. Introduce your current party. My Homeboys, the Lords of Okab Volal, are Nazreen, a wood elf ranger who missed her wolf, played by @tabula-wasa​, Tophr Thanestone, the previously mentioned dwarf druid who was murdered by a giant flaming effigy and subsequently reincarnated/put into the body of a frost elf woman (something he hasn't come to terms with) played by our bearded friend Glenn, and Adelon Vrena, half-elf bard/cleric/divine soul sorcerer a.k.a. Healer Supreme, who is really righteous but not above torturing a captive githyanki, and played by Arnaud. The Schadestenen (meaning "Damage Stones", as in dice), which is the OG Adventurers League group in the Spellenhoorn in Hoorn, consist of Aiden Rainbowscale (Albino orphan wood-elf monk/barbarian), Fjorgyn (dwarven cleric of Moradin, who died last week and still suffered from the Death Curse. RIP.), Frattek Venvaris (Bugbear barbarian/arcane trickster and gladiator/luchador, played by me), Gideon Thornton (cowardly Half-Orc Hexblade), Grommash Hellscream (Stereotypical Half-Orc Barbarian. Great guy.), Ruldra (disgraced Hobgoblin undead-hunting Ranger), Cadence (Powerful but stupid Half-elf Grave Cleric/Divine Soul Sorcerer who never learned how to read), Ullr (Arnaud's Gloom Stalker and Human Machine Gun), and Darin (half-elf ranger and Master Of Backflip). The Peeps from Salt Marsh, DMed by the guy that plays Darin, in which Arnaud plays William Wisenose, The Awfully Lucky Halfling Build (halfling wizard/bard/whatever), Cadence's player plays Sylver Ravenstar (half-elf bard/hexblade/run away princess), her friend plays Samm Enoch (Aasimar Bard and Very Handsome Man), Aiden's player plays Ankis (Aasimar Celestial Warlock and very secretive about both these facts because Back Story), and his friend plays Vena Malum (Human Bloodhunter, who is really buff and does that swirly thing with her falchions, and oh my...), Grommash's player plays Morgain of Astora (human paladin of Pelor, and companion/boyfriend/substitute son to my character), and I play Paytsarra Avèry (winged tiefling cleric of Pelor). Praise the sun. 14. Introduce any other parties you have played in or DM-ed. We had one party consisting of a drider, a very evil dwarf, a fire genasi, a gnome psychic, and a kenku ninja at one point. When the evil dwarf died, and I introduced the guy's new drow "medic", I knew I lost all cohesion of the group. 15. Do you have snacks during game times? My players do. I don't like snacks that much. 16. Do you play online or in person? Which do you prefer? In person. I tried playing online, and I think I would do again, but only if I'd have a really good headset. 17. What are some house rules that your group has? In the Salt Marsh campaign you double the value of the dice on a crit, which I think is disappointing. I just wanna roll a lot of dice :( 18. Does your party keep any pets? @tabula-wasa​'s ranger has a dire wolf...somewhere...

19. Do you or your party have any dice superstitions? Not that I know of. I do know some of my dice seem to roll better than others. 20. How did you get into D&D? How long have you been playing? I found a d&d character creation app on the web ages ago, and that sparked my interest. Later I joined a warhammer fantasy role play group with a friend I had been rp-ing online with a lot, but this was the real deal, at Arnaud's house. He dmed number of campaigns for us, and later he joined my pathfinder group which turned into a D&D 5th edition group. 21. Have you ever regretted something your character has done? Yeah. Frattek decided to be a hero and tried to assassinate an ogre torturer. He failed his shot. We had to fucking run. 22. What color was your first dragon? The first dragon I fought as a character was a young Red Dragon. Even at 5th level, we whooped its ass. He found himself in a cave, surrounded by fools, and we beat him to pulp. The first dragon I put in front of my players was a young White Dragon. It kicked their asses. 23. Do you use premade modules or original campaigns? I usually homebrew my own campaigns, but I have dmed some AL sessions. 24. How much planning/preparation do you do for a game? Not an incredible amount, but for my home game I prepare ideas months, even years, in advance. For DMs 25. What have your players done that you never could have planned for? A lot. The most notable was casting Dispel Magic on the demiplane-item the cultists were in... and then opening the demiplane underwater. 26. What was your favorite scene to write and show your characters. I had these zombies that always repeated the last thing they said before they died, which was cool and creepy. But the thing I really wrote out was the description of how an Astral Ship warps space around itself, and what that looks like from the people on the deck of the ship. 27. Do you allow homebrew content? If it's well written, absolutely, but there is a lot of shit out there. 28. How often do you use NPCs in a party? When it makes sense, but I try not to do that too often. 29. Do you prefer RP heavy sessions or combat sessions? I prefer RP sessions, but I am leaning more toward combat. On the other hand, I don't think it completely excludes each other nor should it. I am of the opinion that 30. Are your players diplomatic or murder hobos? Rather diplomatic, but they can definitely kick ass. For Players 31. What is your favorite class? Favorite race? I like casters, and I will always have an affinity for wizards, but arcane tricksters and eldritch knights are cool too. I like elves, and I like monstrous races; goblins, hobgoblins, bugbears. I like things that are pretty and scary, or creepy and goofy. 32. What role do you like to play the most? (Tank/healer/etc?) I usually mix a bit of tank and dps. I don't like being very frail, but I do enjoy doing a lot of damage in one shot. 33. How do you write your backstory, or do you even write a backstory? I tend to write a character from a concept, and then build out the backstory. How did this person become the person they are today? Even if you have something of a bugbear, or a hobgoblin, or a yuan-ti. They have had a childhood, they have role models, they have culture. But what is that? What defines a character? What makes them they way they are? I don't like playing monstrous races that have been adopted by a "better, nobler race" like humans and elves and dwarves. I get the appeal, but I also think it is a little trite, and a little condenscending, almost. I think a lot about what defines a monstrous identity, and being a Cultural Anthropologist, I think a lot about the way culture shapes the values and morality and thus also behaviour of a creature. Do hobgoblins tell their children bedtime stories? What are they about? How will a bugbear struggle in regular humanoid society, where his violent urges -natural to him- are equally, or even more excessively violently repressed and punished? Is this just for bugbears? Will they then look for each other, and find each other in their shared cultural/natural tendencies? Are there goblinoid lawyers or activist groups, that seek to protect other goblinoids from unjust treatment under laws that aren't theirs? How will your life be if you are a second or third or even fourth generation inhuman creature in a human society? Do they dream of returning to a society that is 'theirs'? And is there even such a thing? And if there is, will they actually fit in, or forever be an outcast, neither hob nor man? I tend to poke at such questions with my character backstories. 34. Do you tend pick weapons/spells for being useful or for flavor? Everything is useful, since everything is always situational. If you plan only for situations in which you are going to kill every living thing, then you shouldn't pick something like Rope Trick, or Magic Circle. But you do you. I very much dislike decoupling "flavour" from functionality. This is a game of make-belief, so everything you do is flavour. The mechanics are an abstraction of a fantastic reality, and though inherently important to the working of the game (without rules, it would merely be improvisation, which is also a kind of game, but schwa), it is all flavour. People that brag about how much average damage they can do with this or that specific build tire me. 35. How much roleplay do you like to do? All of the roleplay! But please let me punt goblins into the garbage sometimes!

[koboldburrow]

1, 2, 11, 24, 32, and 34?

34. Do you tend pick weapons/spells for being useful or for flavor?1)  A favorite character you have played.

I’ve got a special place in my heart for Eska, being 1: a tortle and 2: babby’s first D&D character. Coming from a place of love and support makes them a lot of fun to throw at the party for “tell me your tragic backstory and let me comfort and protect you” purposes and THAT’S THE GOOD SHIT I LIKE 

(Mechanically, I really enjoyed Possum, my lizardfolk Tempest Cleric. Support classes are a lot of fun to play, and him running around clocking things with a shovel was just a really quality image.)

2) Your favorite character that someone else has played.

AW JEEZ HOW DO I EVEN PICK JUST ONE? I’ve got, like, the biggest soft spot imaginable for the party I DM for. The Rainspire party are my Children and I want them to be happy and flourish (I say, while plotting their collective demises constantly). I would Die for Ondory in a heartbeat. (They’re a tengu Phoenix Soul sorc and A GIFT AND A BLESSING)

11) How often do you play and how often would you ideally like to play?

Most of the campaigns I’m playing in have pretty consistent “this day of the week, this time, every two weeks/twice a month/whatever” schedule set up, and I really appreciate that because establishing a routine makes scheduling so much less painful. I’ve found that every other week is a pretty ideal play schedule; doesn’t pressure the DM too hard to cram in desperate amounts of prep, keeps things fresh and recent enough that the party’s super enthused, leaves some breathing room for the between-session text RP or voice interludes or however the party likes to do their “we want some one-on-one party dynamic development or a bunch of shopping or something” stuff.

24) How much planning/preparation do you do for a game?

As a player and not a DM? I’m not playing anything that has to prepare spells each long rest, so usually: 2 minutes to get the Character Voice down pat lol

32) What role do you like to play the most? (Tank/healer/etc?)

I REALLY REALLY LIKE MOBILITY A LOT, so I tend to play a lot of Rogues and Monks. I also tend to like playing the support classes. I live to slap Guidances or familiar-Help-actions or Fuck-This-Enemy-It-Has-Bane-Nows all over the place. 

34) Do you tend pick weapons/spells for being useful or for flavor?

A bit of both, I guess? I’ll sometimes go for Less Effective choices like having Eska ditch all their weapons and go pure Unarmed, or I’ll aim for certain Aesthetic Themes with spell choices (both my Lizardfolk somehow ended up with lightning/storm themes and I don’t know how, Eska is very “sunlight and water” with the aesthetic flavouring of their abilities, etc), but I don’t wanna nerf the squad by not picking anything that’s still effective, right? 

[womanaction]

Do you wanna word vomit about your favorite dnd PCs? I wanna hear all about them please!

Omg, anon…bless you. Of course I do!

So right now I am playing two characters in different campaigns, and then I have another character for some upcoming campaign (maybe this year, maybe not). These are the three I have aesthetic-y blogs for, and they are probably my favorites, although I have a special place in my heart for my first character and she is involved in one of my current campaigns as a bit of a legacy.

Elysia (@la-elysia) is the character I’ve now been playing for the longest time, and I’m continuing to play her for probably another year. She is a grave cleric, and specifically a priestess of Hades. She’s a half-elf, and both her parents were good-aligned clerics (and their parents before them, and so on!). She was raised by the elf half of her family, and resents humans even though her parents parted on amicable terms. She also wanted to choose her own path in life, and so she chose to follow Hades. She thinks life is more complicated and dark than her families have always taught her, and that the most important thing to honor is the thin line between life and death.

When I started out playing her, she was fresh out of her (required) time as a soldier, so she was a little rough and edgy. She’s still quite young, and at first it was obvious how much she chose to worship Hades more as an “identity” choice than as a religious calling. But after visions and actual encounters with him over the course of the past campaign, her fangirl-y obsession has evolved into genuine devotion. She’s still kind of edgy, but she has learned some more restraint, and she has started seeing more of her decisions in the light of her deity. She’s also softened on humans a bit, after Hades seemingly marked another party member (a very messed-up human bard) as important for the coming battles.

I’m looking forward to finding out what her sexuality is, lol. She’s certainly somewhere on the ace spectrum, but I think she might be bi as well. It’s tricky for me to figure this out because her greatest devotion will always be to Hades, and she doesn’t like to really get close to others. She is uninterested in sex generally, but not sex-repulsed; if the proper context arises, I think she might be interested in sex for ritual purposes, which sounds like a fun thing to explore.

Then there’s Remi, @remi-wtmadir​. She is a very shy wizard who is beginning to come into her own. She is Dragonborn, but is no longer in contact with any of her family (a prominent dynasty of warriors and leaders) due to her more eccentric interests. She’s in her mid-40s and has spent the last couple decades in academia - studying magic, of course, but also researching her great love, Infernal poetry. She has a small collection and hopes to start her own library.

Remi is quite awkward and is uncomfortable with using her size and apparent fearsomeness to gain any benefits. However, she has a very analytical and strategic mind, which has led her to an interest in war magic and especially battlefield control. She is very attached to her party members, but is not sure how to appropriately express it.

This has only come up a little bit so far in the actual campaign, but she finds religion a bit distasteful. She enjoys the beautiful art, architecture, music, and poetry produced by religious fervor, but in general she thinks it tends to be mindless and that the so-called deities worshipped by others (yes, even her friends) are undeserving of such praise. Her upbringing was religious, and she’s uncomfortable in overtly religious spaces (shrines, temples, etc.) as a result, although she is not intolerant of religious people. She is also a lesbian, but has had very little chance to connect romantically with anyone because she felt especially othered by her race and background. I am hoping she finds someone who would be interested in sharing her life’s work!

Finally, there’s Margana, @marganathered, who is brand new but I find exciting so I wanna talk about her! She’s a human warlock, with a fiend patron (details not yet worked out). She was quite wealthy for a while as she made a living as a famed and beautiful dancer. She loves nice things, but her greatest love is actually for her husband, who is a very gentle, kind, and simple sort of man. Unfortunately, she had a bad injury and was unable to dance. They quickly fell into poverty, and she watched her husband suffer doing long hours of work he loathed. So she sought out a way to repair her injury. She’s not the most patient or learned, so there were some unintended consequences - in regaining her ability, she lost her husband. Her new patron told her she could recover him if a certain quota of destruction was met. If it were up to her, she would probably have few qualms about anything standing in her way, but she knows he would lose his love for her if he found out she had slaughtered innocents to get him back, so she has to be a little more thoughtful about how she meets this quota. Also, her wedding ring is her focus, which I just think is fun.

Other characters I’ve played recently or have in the wings include Matilda (the OG monk who makes terrible decisions and loves kids), Fryryn (genderfluid lizardfolk druid who spent way too long in isolation), Elas (Elysia’s nerd brother who would probably die immediately if I had to actually play him), Buddy (totally normal paladin bro, the best guy you will ever meet), Angelique (dwarf barbarian who really wants to explore her feminine side), H (man? woman? nb? human? elf? two gnomes stacked on top of each other? who knows but they’re a warlock and hella cool), and Issmi (weird human fighter/rogue/monk, would fuck you up as soon as look at you).

[starshipsandsuperheroes]

My camel centaur started flirting with an assassin who was trying to kill us. She got polymorphed into a chicken. We found a bunch of letters, and it turns out that she's our lizardfolk's boyfriend's mom. We go through the whole dungeon with my character cuddling the chicken. We fall in love. We have a joint wedding at the end of the campaign with me and my chicken assassin and her son and our lizard. Our cleric officiated it with members of our respective cults: a sheep and a rat.

This genuinely looks like somewhere between a physics homework problem from a textbook and the weirdest ass Noah’s arc I’ve ever seen holy fuck

This started in a fairly normal place for D&D and went down a rabbit hole I don’t think I’m fully capable of comprehending.

Come tell me your D&D stories!  I want to hear them!

[weatheredlaw]

best thing that happened in d&d last night:

we went to a temple of helm that was used as a prison for big ugly monsters (for the most part. there was a dryad there and we helped her and she owes us a favor now, which adhara finds annoying.) and we fought a young black dragon. 

no one in the party speaks draconic except for adhara, my lizardfolk cleric, so i’m kind of trying to figure out who imprisoned it, and our bard rolls a nat 20 on her nature check. back against the wall she just starts whisper screaming, “beg. beg for your life.” at me.

fun fact about adhara: she fucking begs to no one.

but it’s a black dragon, it’s pissed, so she does the most half-assed begging routine ever. like my DM knows my character and has me roll a persuasion check at disadvantage, which is fine with me. i roll a six, wind up with a nine, it’s not enough. 

i hit it with a guiding bolt. our rogue dispatches it, eventually. i use my short rest to make our fighter a dragon bone shield. he owes me a favor. adhara will likely never cash in on that. she despises favors, especially from people she views as equals in terms of strength, combat prowess, wisdom, etc. stran, our fighter, is someone adhara actually respects which is why she gave him the dragonbone shield in the first place. 

ANYWAY. i cut into the dragon. i take out its heart. i walk over to our bard who adhara has some complicated feelings for (love, romance, sex -- these are concepts adhara understands on a surface level, doesn’t understand why they’d be important to her, but she recognizes the bard is flirting and isn’t sure how to deal with it). i have adhara look our bard dead in the eyes and says, “I beg for nothing.” and take a bit out of a black dragon heart.

anyway later she made me dragon sushi because cooking your food is gross.