#but I don't think it was on a physical level

[custardkittyyy]

(NOTE: this particular ask is for when Leon and Diane are grown up, not teenagers or anything. Although some of the lighter asks of this post may apply across all ages, some more adult topics do not.) Is your OC romantic in the traditional sense? Do they enjoy giving or receiving gifts of flowers or confectionary? Or are there other courtship traditions from their culture of origin that are important to them? Leon is not romantic in the traditional sense. If he is/ever was, it's because he tailored his romance to what Diane most positively responded to. He has no framework of what true romantic actions are beside maybe innocent physical contact.

How important is sex to them in a relationship? Do they see it as something essential to their happiness? Would they be able to remain in a monogamous relationship with someone they loved without sex? I don't think Leon would be that down bad. What he's looking for the most is an emotional connection. That's what he's been after his whole life. He would be perfectly happy in a monogamous relationship with Diane with or without that level of physical intimacy.

How do they feel about public displays of romantic affection? Does it make them uncomfortable? How do they feel if a romantic partner kisses them in public? Leon hates PDA. Even with Diane, the most he'll do is hold her hand.

Do they believe in love at first sight? Have they ever developed a crush or romantic (or erotic) fixation upon a stranger based on their appearance alone? Unless it's toward Diane, then no.

How closely is their opinion of their own beauty (or lack thereof) linked to their confidence? Do they see themselves as more or less worthy of love or sex based on how attractive they feel? I think that since Leon already doesn't think too highly of himself, that it would bleed into this area of his life too. I think it's less about attractiveness and more of how he is as a person. He may not feel worthy of intimacy with Diane because of

Philia – Affectionate, Platonic Love.

Does your OC have a Best Friend? If they do then how long have they known each other and how did they meet? If they don't then do they have a close group of friends they love equally? Or are they more of a loner? Leon has never really had a 'best friend' outside of Diane. He's known her since they were both tweens, and they met at school for special children with superpowers (or the elite)

Does your OC find it easy to make friends? Or are there barriers to them doing so? If so then are these due to issues of inclination, communication, or something else entirely? Leon finds it hard to make friends with other people because not only is he quiet and 'weird' to other people, but also he doesn't really like other people.

What qualities does your OC most value in a friend? Loyalty? Shared sense of humour? Or something else? He absolutely values loyalty above all things.

Is your OC able to build close friendships with people very different from themselves? Perhaps in terms of culture, age or personality? No. Leon is an outcast in general.

What is their most fervent wish for their best friend(s)? How far would they go to make it happen? He wants Diane to love him. He would go so far to make it happen, even if he sacrificed what little personality he thinks he has.

Storge – Unconditional, Familial Love.

Did your OC's parents love them unconditionally? If so then has this helped them feel confident as an adult? If not then how has this affected them? What were the conditions their family attached to their relationship? Leon's foster parents don't even have a conditional love for him. What he is to them is something to show off; something to say 'look at how we took this poor child in, and turned him into a success'. As an adult, he carries part of this relationship over to his relationship with Diane. He wants to impress her, to make her proud of him. Even if they're already married and he does have her in a sense, he's afraid of losing that love.

Does your OC have children? If so then how fiercely do they love them? If they have more than one then do they love them all equally? If they do not have children then is this part of their future plans? Leon as an adult would have children with Diane. He loves them, yes, but not as much as his wife.

How far does parental approval (imagined or expressed) impact upon their current sense of self-worth? What might they sacrifice or attempt to achieve in order to ensure the approval of their parents?

Does your OC have any siblings? If so then did their parents have a favourite growing up? Has their relationship with their sibling changed in adulthood? If they don't have any siblings then do they perhaps feel they have missed out on an important relationship? Do they have any especially close friends who go some way towards filling that role? He does not have siblings, and he doesn't particularly care.

Ludus – Playful, Flirtatious Love.

Does your OC have any particular favourite chat up lines? If not for themselves then perhaps ones they have suggested to a friend? How effective do these tend to be? N/A, he doesn't know how to flirt.

Is your OC particularly skilled at flirting? Have they had to practice this or does it just happen naturally? Nope ☠️

How does your OC feel about one night stands? Have they ever enjoyed a night of passionate romance with a stranger? Is this something they are quite keen on recreationally? Or only something they might engage in under specific circumstances (such as the eve of a battle or after a difficult breakup)? Leon hates the idea of a one night stand. He wouldn't do it with anybody, but if he were to do that with Diane I think he would just feel empty. Maybe even kind of cheap for doing that. He would feel he had ruined everything and felt shame for going with base instincts.

Who was your OC's first crush? How do they feel about it now? Diane. And he's still obsessed with her.

What seduction techniques are most likely to be effective when it comes to your OC? Are there some things guaranteed to get them going? Or are they immune to such things? I can't think of anything because Diane isn't exactly a master at that stuff either. They would both just have to be frank with each other. Maybe Diane might be better at it (which isn't saying much. Leon is super awkward.)

Pragma – Committed, Long-Lasting Love.

Is your OC in a committed long-term relationship (or relationships)? If so then what has contributed to this relationship lasting so well? If they are not in such a relationship, then is this something that saddens them or which they regret? Depends on the Au. Sometimes he is, sometimes he isn't. When he gets lucky and he is, it's the highlight of his life and the reason why he does anything. When he gets *really* unlucky, he either takes out his anger on other people or takes his grief out on himself.

What is the biggest challenge that your OC has had to overcome in a long-term relationship or friendship? What helped them get through this? N/A

Are your OC's parents still together? To what degree do they look to their own parents as a model for their own ideal relationship? N/A ... (bio parents) his father is dead and he got taken away from his mother.

After the initial fires of passion cool to some degree, what would keep your OC engaged in a relationship? Shared goals? Similar values? Or contented companionship? N/A, he's always on fire.

What importance or value does your OC attach to marriage? Do they believe that it is important to make a public statement of commitment to another person (or persons)? Or are they more concerned about inheritance rights and security for their family? Or do they not see marriage as a necessary signifier of commitment and loyalty? Leon highly values marriage. The idea of becoming physically and spiritually bonded with Diane is something that holds him together as an adult. He would do mostly all he does now even if they weren't married, but then being married gives him an excuse. (I.e. "She's my wife, I have to.")

OC Questions on the Seven Forms of Love.

A little list of OC questions based on the seven types of love identified in Ancient Greek thought. Obviously this is a highly simplified presentation of some quite complex philosophical concepts from Classical History, intended more for the purposes of entertainment than education. I also left out Mania, which is arguably an eighth type of love (Obsessive), because I'm keeping it mostly positive in these tricky times!

Eros – Romantic, Passionate Love.

Is your OC romantic in the traditional sense? Do they enjoy giving or receiving gifts of flowers or confectionary? Or are there other courtship traditions from their culture of origin that are important to them?

How important is sex to them in a relationship? Do they see it as something essential to their happiness? Would they be able to remain in a monogamous relationship with someone they loved without sex?

How do they feel about public displays of romantic affection? Does it make them uncomfortable? How do they feel if a romantic partner kisses them in public?

Do they believe in love at first sight? Have they ever developed a crush or romantic (or erotic) fixation upon a stranger based on their appearance alone?

How closely is their opinion of their own beauty (or lack thereof) linked to their confidence? Do they see themselves as more or less worthy of love or sex based on how attractive they feel?

Philia – Affectionate, Platonic Love.

Does your OC have a Best Friend? If they do then how long have they known each other and how did they meet? If they don't then do they have a close group of friends they love equally? Or are they more of a loner?

Does your OC find it easy to make friends? Or are there barriers to them doing so? If so then are these due to issues of inclination, communication, or something else entirely?

What qualities does your OC most value in a friend? Loyalty? Shared sense of humour? Or something else?

Is your OC able to build close friendships with people very different from themselves? Perhaps in terms of culture, age or personality?

What is their most fervent wish for their best friend(s)? How far would they go to make it happen?

Storge – Unconditional, Familial Love.

Did your OC's parents love them unconditionally? If so then has this helped them feel confident as an adult? If not then how has this affected them? What were the conditions their family attached to their relationship?

Does your OC have children? If so then how fiercely do they love them? If they have more than one then do they love them all equally? If they do not have children then is this part of their future plans?

How far does parental approval (imagined or expressed) impact upon their current sense of self-worth? What might they sacrifice or attempt to achieve in order to ensure the approval of their parents?

Does your OC have any siblings? If so then did their parents have a favourite growing up? Has their relationship with their sibling changed in adulthood? If they don't have any siblings then do they perhaps feel they have missed out on an important relationship? Do they have any especially close friends who go some way towards filling that role?

Is your OC able to love without necessarily needing or expecting reciprocation or reward? Or are all their relationships to some extent transactional? Have they ever loved another person unconditionally, whether a child or another adult?

Agape – Selfless, Universal Love.

Does your OC wish to make the world a better place? How far do they see that as being their responsibility? What lengths would they go to in order to help achieve this?

Does your OC feel a spiritual connection to the world around them? Do they have a particular love for nature or living things?

To what extent does your OC believe in the value (or even existence) of true altruism? Do they see an unselfish concern for the welfare of others as being naïve or foolish? Or as a moral quality to which people should aspire?

Does your OC have a religious faith which emphasises the importance of a love for all people? If so then do they try to follow these teachings authentically? Or do they just pay lip-service to them? If not then do they follow a more martial or mercantile faith? Or none at all?

Does your OC find it easy to empathise with their enemies? Or do they see it as important to dehumanise them in order to combat them with sufficient determination?

Ludus – Playful, Flirtatious Love.

Does your OC have any particular favourite chat up lines? If not for themselves then perhaps ones they have suggested to a friend? How effective do these tend to be?

Is your OC particularly skilled at flirting? Have they had to practice this or does it just happen naturally?

How does your OC feel about one night stands? Have they ever enjoyed a night of passionate romance with a stranger? Is this something they are quite keen on recreationally? Or only something they might engage in under specific circumstances (such as the eve of a battle or after a difficult breakup)?

Who was your OC's first crush? How do they feel about it now?

What seduction techniques are most likely to be effective when it comes to your OC? Are there some things guaranteed to get them going? Or are they immune to such things?

Pragma – Committed, Long-Lasting Love.

Is your OC in a committed long-term relationship (or relationships)? If so then what has contributed to this relationship lasting so well? If they are not in such a relationship, then is this something that saddens them or which they regret?

What is the biggest challenge that your OC has had to overcome in a long-term relationship or friendship? What helped them get through this?

Are your OC's parents still together? To what degree do they look to their own parents as a model for their own ideal relationship?

After the initial fires of passion cool to some degree, what would keep your OC engaged in a relationship? Shared goals? Similar values? Or contented companionship?

What importance or value does your OC attach to marriage? Do they believe that it is important to make a public statement of commitment to another person (or persons)? Or are they more concerned about inheritance rights and security for their family? Or do they not see marriage as a necessary signifier of commitment and loyalty?

Philautia – Self Love.

Does your OC have a healthy sense of their own worth and value? Or do they see themselves as failing to live up to their original potential? Perhaps they are convinced of their own sinful or inadequate nature?

Does your OC believe that it is important to love themselves in the first instance? Perhaps in order to be able to give and receive love authentically? Or because they believe first and foremost in "looking after number one"?

Does your OC judge themselves by the same standards as they apply to others? Or are they sometimes hypocritical in condemning others for faults they also possess? Or perhaps they find it easier to forgive others for things that they cannot abide in themselves?

Which of your OC's qualities makes them the most proud? Do they think more people should be like them in this regard? Or do they quite like being rare in possessing it?

Has your OC always had the same opinion of themselves or has this changed over time? Have they learned to love themselves - perhaps with the help of others - as their journey progressed? Or have the consequences of their actions only served to erode their sense of self-worth?

[serpentface]

SPIRITUAL POLLUTION, THE GESTURES AGAINST EVIL, AND ABLUTION: A POST

The concepts of spiritual purity and pollution are central to the Faith of the Seven Faced God (and similar takes on the concept predate it throughout and beyond the immediate Wardi cultural sphere). There is no clean cut distinction between physical and spiritual health in this belief system (these concepts exist as a heavily overlapping venn diagram) and many methods intended to cleanse spiritual pollution address both realms.

The word for the concept referred to as spiritual pollution is 'mesechitse', which can translate to 'blockage' or 'severance' depending on the context (its underlying meaning is a pathway that has been stopped in some capacity).

At its core, spiritual pollution is a corruption of the living spirit (which is carried by/IS the blood). It causes both physical and spiritual problems. Polluted blood flows improperly and does not maintain the body’s natural stasis or integrity, causing or allowing disease or other bodily dysfunctions to occur. Many ailments are seen as wholly physical and internal in nature, occurring directly due to polluted blood flowing improperly and affecting key organs. Other diseases (particularly contagious or infectious disease) are known to be caused by dagi, which are harmful spirits that enter the body through orifices or wounds. A limited number of ailments (most notably pronounced schizophrenia-spectrum disorders or cognitive disabilities, unfortunately) are thought to be caused by possession by more powerful evil spirits.

At its worst, severe spiritual pollution is thought to impact or sever one's connection to God. Summarized very basically, severe pollution = blockage of flow between one's own living spirit and the greater spirit of God, which deprives a person of God's blessings and protection, severs them from the natural cycling of life and death (and prevents their necessary participation) and can put their afterlife in jeopardy.

Some degree of corruption to the living spirit is seen as completely inevitable and managed by the body, which physically expels some polluting agents via urine and feces, as well as menstruation (thus all of these substances are themselves dirty and polluting agents). It is reckoned as impossible for any living body to exist in a Completely spiritually pure state. The goal of cleansing (and broader practices revolving around spiritual integrity) is rather to maintain stasis of the body's natural cycling (and by extension a connection to God's living spirit) and to keep pollution contained and minimized.

If one's immortal soul successfully reaches the afterlife, it is then reborn into a spiritually pure existence incapable of being 'severed' from God in any capacity. God Itself is a spiritually pure being, but Its body and living spirit (the world and its cycles, manifested as Faces) is vulnerable. The purity of God's living spirit (and therefore the life-sustaining functions of the world that all beings depend upon) must be sustained, protected, and restored through right practice, which is what much what the public religion revolves around.

Spiritual pollution is a separate but overlapping concept with:

-Metaphysical vulnerability, the word for which is 'namne couyibase' (literally ‘lacking integrity of Being’). This is a state in which the body and living spirit is considered vulnerable to great change, for good or for bad. These states can have vital and positive uses (they are utilized in many rituals, and it is what allows for conception and birth), but must be entered with caution and intentionality. Uncontrolled namne couyibase can otherwise leave one open to forms of spiritual harm. -Curses, which are targeted infliction of harm (of all sorts- bad luck, evil spirits, etc) onto a person, place, or thing. A spiritually polluted body is has less resistance to curses, and curses can intensify this pollution. -Possession, which is when evil spirits attach themselves to or inhabit the body. In the vast majority of cases, possession does not mean an evil spirit is Controlling the body, merely harming it. A spiritually polluted body has less resistance to possession, and possession can intensify this pollution. -Ritual uncleanliness, which is a state of intensified spiritual pollution that requires complete prohibition from a person from entering sacred spaces or participating in certain rituals until they are made clean. The most common reasons for ritual uncleanliness are active menstruation, being in the mourning period, or having performed a known dirtying action without its required ablution (see below).

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Multiple levels of religious-medical practice are centered around maintaining the body's stasis and cleansing it of mesechitse whenever possible. The methods are both active and passive.

Passive methods include the wearing of protective objects/amulets or having the motifs on household items or as decoration (the most ubiquitous are charms like the pelatoche (lit: '(ocean) eye') or odatochent (lit. 'Gods eyes'), the skimmer woman, or phalluses, and the wearing of gull feathers), in addition to other beneficial/protective iconography (guardian lions are most common, though physical representations of each Face of God have beneficial functions).

Active methods cover a broad swath of rites and behaviors (which is even broader in non-doctrinal folk practices). I'll be focusing here on the two main everyday methods of protection/cleansing (rather than more specialized rites) that are supported by core doctrine and may be performed by anyone, rather than being restricted to priests.

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Gestures against evil

These are the absolute most basic protection methods, comprised of three core gestures.

Purity of intent: the hand is held with the palm facing upward, the pointer and pinky finger extended and the thumb and inner two fingers pressed together. This is the most directly ‘cleansing’ gesture, it attempts to bind uncleanliness within the body and thus to prevent inevitable background level spiritual pollution from the body infecting a pure environment or another person. You mostly perform this gesture while entering/leaving a protected or vulnerable space (literal or figurative).

Protection of spirit: the hand is held with the first two fingers pointed together, held upwards for generalized use or pointed for directed use. This is the simplest of apotropaic gestures, aiming to protect the body and spirit from outside harm. This is commonly used before or while entering contexts seen as physically and/or spiritually dangerous, or to un-aggressively counter an evil eye curse.

Dispelling of evil: The hand is held with the first two fingers pointing together, touched to the lips, and flicked away from the body. In practice, this is most commonly used to prevent attachment by malicious or otherwise harmful spirits that may have been evoked (you might perform this after you speak of someone believed to be an earthbound ghost or refer to an evil spirit directly, or immediately after touching a potentially contagious sick person (ideally followed by ablution)). This will not help you if evil spirits have fully Attached themselves to you, but can remove ones that have been attracted to you. Doing this gesture and flicking in the direction of another person is very rude.

These gestures have separate uses, but will often be performed in conjunction (usually in the order given) as a quick means of protecting oneself and the spaces around them. It is not considered a doctrinal replacement for ablution as it does not actually cleanse the spirit, but it attempts to reduce harm (both sustained and produced by the user).

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Ablutions:

Ablution is spiritually and physically cleansing the body with clean water. The metric for clean water is fairly expansive- ocean water, any flowing water, any clear lake, shallow water sources that are clear and free of (obvious) polluting elements such as animal corpses or unclean animal feces, any clear collected water.

The core requirement of an ablution is for the hands to be cleaned in all circumstances, and for other body parts to be cleansed in addition if the situation requires it. One must fully wet the hands/other affected areas and scrub thoroughly, and then use fresh water to rinse. If you have to clean other parts of your body, you save your hands for last (as they will be used for the cleaning).

It is appropriate to perform ablutions cooperatively, but the person assisting you should participate as well (ie- if you have someone washing your back, they should scrub and rinse their own hands after). Someone considered to be in a ritually unclean state that ablution will not immediately fix (the most common are actively menstruating or being in the midst of the mourning period) should not perform ablutions on others.

Note that there is no Hard distinction between bathing for spiritual cleanliness and bathing for physical cleanliness (there is a separate set of cultural standards for physical hygiene, but most hygiene expectations are Covered by ablution). In most circumstances, ablution is just a regular, sometimes tedious everyday activity rather than a solemn or special occasion.

The ritualized requirements denote that only the hands + any given affected body parts Must be washed, but ablutions will often be an aspect of a full-body bathing routine to meet other hygiene standards. (ie: someone performing ablution before making offerings or eating a meal is only Required to wash their hands, but will very often wash their whole bodies and clean their hair- offerings and a meal are (typically) daily activities, so this is a good time to just get a full bath in while you’re at it). It may additionally involve washing the skin with oil or soap, moisturizing the hair with oil, scraping away dead skin, and applying perfumes. This is not a ritual requirement and is performed because generally, people like to feel clean and smell nice.

The hard physicality of cleansing WITH WATER is KEY to this practice. Per core doctrine, there are no DIY cleansing methods that replace washing with water. If one does not have access to clean water for ablutions, they should not perform offerings whatsoever (but are allowed to pray) until they can be cleansed, and accept that they are receiving spiritual pollution by performing ablution-required tasks in the meantime. A blessing from a priest is the only doctrine-supported spiritually cleansing replacement for water ablutions. In practice many people will use the gestures against evil as a replacement (which is not supported by doctrine and is more common in folk religious practice), and virtually everyone will find ways to get physical contaminants off of their body either way (if you step in dog shit and don't have any water nearby, you're going to wipe it the hell off even if that doesn't make you ritually clean).

Times when such an ablution is generally considered a hard requirement:

Before bloodletting in prayer or making other offerings

Before meals

Before assisting in a birth

After menstruation ends

After receiving penetrative sex

After defecating

After urinating (this isn't as ubiquitously seen as a hard requirement, in a lot of cases people interpret it as 'only if you actually get pee on your hands')

After touching urine

After touching feces (many lines of thought make exceptions for the excrement of cattle and khait due to their clean and sacred status- this makes life a easier for the majority of people who have to use dry dung as fuel)

After touching a dead body (human or animal)

At the end of your mourning period for dead kin (traditionally as part of a larger ritual involving full body submergence in flowing water, rather than as a common ablution)

After touching someone else's blood (aside from rites that require it, in which the blood is expected to be clean and the cross-pollution of living spirit is intentional) (technically includes semen but this does not come up very often)

After touching most sick people (particularly with contagious diseases or any skin ailments)

After recovering from an illness (ablutions will be performed as an aspect of treatment as well)

Before entering most temple's inner shrines (and some temples altogether)

Also a requirement for participation in certain specific rites and/or festivals

The exact nuances on how hard these requirements are sometimes vary, particularly in instances revolving around touch. Official doctrine is that any unclean touch requires ablution, but in common practice this is sometimes reinterpreted as only a hard requirement when the touch occurs to the hands. Most practitioners do not perform an ablution immediately after an unclean touch occurs (if you're a field laborer and step in dung, you're probably going to wait to wash until you retire for the night), and not everyone performs ablutions every single time they 'should'.

Only drawing I have related to ablution under the cut (nudity)

This is one way to do it

[doctorprofessorsong]

I've been waiting to really have some time to type out my thoughts about the Ody3, and now I have managed to sneak away, so here you go.

Doctor Odyssey is not being presented as a love triangle, but instead as a throuple. A basic tenet of polyamory for a lot of people is: one person cannot meet all my emotional and physical needs.

And to be crystal clear, that's also something the show has expressly outlined. The captain said it. Out loud. About a throuple. So it's not like this is unintentional.

With that, here's why this throuple story is balanced and conveying clearly that they each meet separate and important emotional needs (physically they've all said it was awesome so let's assume the sex is good)

Avery - Avery is an interesting character because she is very smart and largely defines herself by academic accomplishments. In fact, she is considering med school but doesn't have a burning need to be a doctor. She just feels like it's what she should do. This wars with her nature to pursue pleasure. She wants to see the world. She isn't interested in settling down. And she has a fear of commitment that stems from being hurt while envisioning a future where she has "fixed" herself and has kids and a spouse. She also froze her eggs, which takes commitment, but didn't say kids as her bucket lost goal.

Tristan - Tristan is all heart. He's touchy and feels deeply and openly and unapologetically. He openly loves, appreciates being wanted, and tbh is a himbo (honorific). He also is terrified of being left because of his mother who love bombed and abandoned him over and over again. He craves something stable while also being absolutely terrified of getting it and either losing it or losing his taste for it. He wants kids but isn’t willing to risk his heart unless he knows his partner is all in on him which is basically an impossibility at the front end of a relationship.

Max - Max is smart and he knows it. He loves learning new things with an enthusiasm most people don't appreciate. But that's both an attribute and a drawback for him because Max hides behind his knowledge when he's scared or hurt. Rather than be vulnerable, he falls into a pattern of professionalism and authority (earned or not). He longs to let his hair down, but stepping out of his self-imposed role is terrifying.

So knowing all that, let's look at them ttogether.

Max and Avery - these two absolutely thrive in an academic or cerebral challenge. They challenge each other and push each other intellectually. They are attracted to the other in part by those sexy brains. But they have no idea how to cross the divide on an emotional level. Avery has no clue how to tease Max out of his rigid walls (something she seems to acknowledge when asking Tristan to help with the throuple idea). And Max also can't figure that out. Also, Max encourages Avery's instinct to define herself by academic achievements (not purposely so much as because they are too alike here)

Max and Tristan - Max and Tristan have similar life goals but it's the way they connect emotionally that is the key to the balance for both characters. Tristan can reach Max, like he did in the mid season finale. He breaks the ice around Max's heart. Max, meanwhile, gives Tristan and stability and maturity he craves. And Max feels like he's a constant. He may retreat behind his walls and rules, but you get the feeling that if he lets that guard down, he would be a steady partner.

Avery and Tristan - these two like each other. They're close. They care about each other. Yet they didn't find a space without Max. I think it's because they are both too prone to having fun (Avery) and running away from commitment (both of them). Tristan has historically held Avery up as an idea while not seeing the person. Avery has either dismissed Tristan or recognized she isn't willing to give him the steady commitment he craves. They are GREAT for each other. They care about each other and support each other and connect so well. But neither of them is in a space where a healthy relationship can form on their own.

When you put them all together, you start to see both how they fulfill certain needs in each other but also how they fill in the gaps. No pairing stands alone. It's unbalanced. But together, they work so well.

Interestingly, we're shown that. They are best when they are together and on the same page. Things feel unbalanced when they aren't on screen together. Even when they work well together one on one, eventually coming together as a triad is like an emotional home base for them.

[helluvathings]

Satan and the Nature of the Deadly Sins

First note: Viv has confirmed that Satan is lying.

But I do have thoughts on where the lie here is, and what's being said or implied about the Sins. Because even accounting for the falsehood, I actually think this does strongly hint that the Sins aren't angels, and have been part of Hell from the start: presumably created when Eve ate the apple and humans gained free will, leading to sin, implicitly leading to "the Sins."

Note, Satan talks about an endless dark, "long before" Lucifer fell. He's making himself out to be a primordial entity that preexisted Lucifer and Hell's current system by a substantial margin. As if way, way back when, Satan was "in charge." If the Hazbin creation story is accurate, Hell existed without Lucifer for the duration of time it took him to be banished. We don't know how long this was, but presumably it wasn't that much time.

We also have Ozzie saying he knew Mammon "from the start of Hell." I've seen people theorize that this can fit the fallen angel theory, and he's referring to how they all met when Lucifer rebelled, but there's been so little indication that there was a big war/rebellion in heaven previously, as opposed to Lucifer getting punished for the sole act of the apple/trying to institute changes on an individual level, that there doesn't seem to be a lot supporting that there was a big coalition of angels that were punished. (In Hazbin, Sera warns Emily she might end up like Lucifer, citing him as an individual). It'd also be an awkward way to phrase it (something like "from before our Fall" would work better in that case). Ozzie's words in 2x07 imply, I'd argue, a common origin point/that they began at the same time in the same place. Which also fits the Hazbin story (Eve -> apple -> free will -> sin/Hell -> Sins). It also matches with Bee saying Satan is like a brother. Common origin, but not technically related.

In which case, there possibly was endless darkness like Satan mentioned. But also, likely not much to rule, or much time for Satan to do so before Lucifer fell, when Lilith took over and structured Hell into what it is today. Given there would've been confusion and a lack of order, it likely would've been chaotic and undeveloped (Lilith being the as-of-now-canonical reason things shaped up). Satan, implied as the strongest, maybe would've scrounged up a semblance of power, but a) not for long, and b) not over anything substantial. Hence, this look from Ozzie and Bee:

But what really stands out to me is the way Satan refers to Lucifer, and the way Lucifer is separated out from the other Sins on the whole. Calling him "the golden angel" and referring to "his fall" as a distinct event separate from Satan himself does make it seem like Lucifer was something foreign that came crashing in. Note how Lucifer still looks like his angelic self. Notably, the very distinctive angel's wings none of the other Sins possess. Being a fallen angel is a massive part of his character, his motivations, his actions and beliefs. It dyes every part of who he is. On the door to the courtroom, Lucifer's angelic wings and nature are dominant in his symbol's design, and he's placed above the other Sins, whose designs revolve around their sin/or prominent physical features.

It could be argued that the others got over the Fall better, or were different classes of angels (so look different after being punished). But it's a factor that's so absent from their backstory or characterization that it'd almost undermine Lucifer's struggle to have something that colors his whole existence be totally irrelevant to the other fallen angels, if that was their story. I get the impression more so that Lucifer's angelic nature actually stands out, and might be one reason he feels so isolated, especially after his divorce. If he had six people who'd gone through the same trauma, he'd have something. If he's instead forced to brush elbows and expected to work alongside six demons that symbolize his ultimate failure, and who resulted directly from his actions with the apple, that's more complicated. Again, Satan calling him "the golden angel" makes it see like he's separating angels as something other. And "the angel's fall" is another separation. Satan lying about that part doesn't serve much purpose; if anything, if he was a fallen angel too, he could assert himself as the one who stepped up while Lucifer crashed and burned.

Instead, Satan attempts to distinguish himself from Lucifer in this entirely different way, by framing himself as something far, far more deeply rooted in Hell, older and better. It's not just an 'I'm the strongest' bluff, but there's an attempt to establish himself as the one who's always been here. And I'm thinking, when Viv says Lucifer has always been "first," she means in terms of hierarchy. Where it leaves room for the Sins to have been created as part of Hell, but Satan's lie comes from asserting the "a long time" and that he'd ever been in charge. It feels more natural to assume that Satan is doubling down and exaggerating his past authority, but not lying about his origin.

Final note: it is canon that Lucifer inadvertently created Hell, and was thrown into the pit he created. Also, confirmed that Ozzie has known Mammon since the "start of Hell." While there's a chance Ozzie is using hyperbole: it's framed like Hell was, in some form, around at least a short time before Lucifer showed up. And that Ozzie and Mammon were present. Unless there are word play shenanigans involved, discounting Satan's words to the extent it butts against that established timeline is probably throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

Summing it up: I've seen a few reactions to Viv's post about Satan implying that it doesn't make sense with previous lore or that things aren't adding up, but I think it's just that people are overestimating how much of what he's saying is actually false. He's bullshitting being a primordial god-like being for sure, which fits Ozzie and Bee rolling their eyes. I think if he was lying about the whole creation story altogether, they'd have been less 'shut up, wtf,' and more visibly confused. Of course future episodes could disprove all of this, but my impression was that the way Satan referred to Lucifer and his presence in Hell actually solidifies that he (and the others) aren't fallen angels, and his "for a long time before" thing being untrue is actually a mark in favor of the Hazbin creation story being at least mostly canonical (since it wasn't a long time; he probably had like two weeks to try flexing), as opposed to proof against it.

Also maybe sets up Satan having a quiet rivalry with Lucifer or at least pushing his authority? I think it might be very relevant that Satan goes the route of I've always been here when he's trying to set himself above and apart, and that he points out Lucifer falling in as an outsider. That might just be speculation, but that framing feels intentional.

[crankydevon]

I'm taking this derailed post all the way to the end of the alternate route!

I stopped taking T when I was about 35, and I wish now that I had stayed on a low dose, at the very least. Estrogen has not been good for my mental or physical health, and testosterone can't undo all the permanent changes. (I went back on T almost a year ago, and many things are better for me.)

Bone density loss is a real problem, especially if you don't consume a lot of real (not vegan) dairy. Hot flashes were/are super distressing for my autistic senses, and even neurotypical folks hate them. Brain fog is real, crying all the time is real, and brief psychotic episodes can definitely happen if you already have PMDD when your estrogen levels fall. You don't need psych meds; you need a hormone (or 2 or 3.) Low dose T is still prescribed to cis women in perimenopause for low libido, so you can probably try out a micro dose to see how it goes, but it won't be enough T to replace all your estrogen later.

Bother your doctors over and over again if you do not get relief from the hot flashes, brain fog, painful/extreme periods, and other related symptoms of low hormone levels! Call their office or send a message to their web portal! Ask your GYN to refer you to a different GYN if they can't or won't help you get a good hormone balance. I had to "fire" 2 gynecologists before I found one who had any idea of what a normal, therapeutic dose of estrogen is. (They were giving me 1/20 of what I needed.)

Hot tip if you are at risk for uterine cancer: an IUD with progesterone in it will prevent uterine cancer. Mirena is one brand, but there are others. They were used during the shutdown in 2020 to help women with uterine cancer who were not able to get surgery right away. It stopped their cancer from progressing. (there may be exceptions, but this is what the good GYN said.)

Also, oral estrogen hrt does not cause breast cancer or heart attacks like they used to think. There's evidence that it improves cardio-vascular health for patients who need it, because having no sex hormones is just so universally bad for you.

It's tough to advocate for yourself in the medical bureaucracy, but it's easier when you have some information to take with you. Perimenopause can start much earlier than you think, so if you're over 30, I recommend doing some web searches now. Good sites include nih.gov mayoclinic.org clevelandclinic.org and reddit.com, really! There are forums there about hormones and menopause and more! Good luck. (p.s. feel free to Ask me about any of this stuff, although I am not a medical professional.)

Gather around, my young friends and fellow dinosaurs, let me tell you about some BULLSHIT no one ever tells you about. I'm talking about menopause and perimenopause. Now, menopause has a very stringent medical definition. You have to not have had a period for exactly 12 months and a day to be considered in menopause. All the bullshit before that day once you start going through The Change is considered perimenopause. Here's some bullshit you might experience that people actually talk about when you're in perimenopause:

- shorter time between periods

- irregular periods

- hot flashes and/or cold flashes

- fucked up sleep

- OMG NIGHT SWEATS

- Vagina as dry as the Sahara desert

- lighter periods and/or endless bleeding like it's The Flood but it's in your pants

- lack of interest in Adult Fun Times

This time of joy can last anywhere from a couple of years to a god damn decade and there's no medical way right now to predict it.

Here's some of the REAL bullshit they don't tell you about but your dinosaur aunt is here to let you know:

- You can start perimenopause in your 30s, don't listen to idiot doctors who tell you you're "too young" because they don't know your body like you do.

- Perimenopause will make you HELLA DUMB. Seriously, I'm talking Bigly broken brain. Brain fog? Check. Short term memory? Wave goodbye to it. Ability to make words form out of thoughts? Yeah, good luck to you.

- Perimenopause can cause horrible fatigue because in addition to losing estrogen, you're also losing testosterone. Oh and that also leads to muscle wasting, cool cool.

- Things might suddenly hurt more because estrogen is known to be neuroprotective.

- If you're super lucky like I am, and like to collect rare illnesses, you might even get Burning Mouth Syndrome 💀

- And meanwhile, while you're going through this bullshit, you'll be getting gaslit by doctors who are operating based on 30 year old debunked data about how HRT causes breast cancer (not really) and that they shouldn't put you on it until you're in actual menopause. (Data shows starting HRT early can potentially prevent Alzheimer's in later years.)

- There are entire online clinics right now (I use Midi Health) focused on providing care for peri and menopausal patients and they will happily prescribe you HRT even if your regular PCP or OBGYN do not (if you meet the criteria). I've been pretty impressed with how holistically they view the patient. For full disclosure, I learned about them from my integrative health doctor and they do not accept Medicare (yet).

I'm 46 years old right now and I've been symptomatic for perimenopause for the last 8 years, although it's gotten the most dramatic in the past 2 years or so, which I hope means I'm almost done, holy hell. Yeah I was on the early side, but if it can happen to me, it can happen to you, so it's never too early to think about these things. And I hope to at least spare some of you the mind-fuckery I've been through because no one told me about most of this stuff, including my own mother who just DOESN'T REMEMBER what happened to her and now I completely understand why. And because I also have a connective tissue disease, I used to just dismiss my pain and fatigue as being caused by that illness rather than the loss of hormones.

Anyways, this is why we need Elders in our lives, so they can do Grandma Story Hour like I just did and validate you when the entire medical field tries to gaslight you. I hope you've found some or all of this educational/useful. Please share with your friends because we really do NOT talk about this stuff enough. (Ewwww Moon Blood!)

Stay well, and don't let the bastards grind you down!

[witch-apologist]

'Catras scratched Octavia!!!!! That shows she's always been a violent abuser!"

You mean one of her abusers? You mean one of the many cruel adults who maintained and upheld the system she was abused under every single day? The horde soldier? That's who you're calling a victim of catra? The grown ass woman who helped hordak and shadow Weaver abuse all of the horde children and colonize etheria? Abuse victim of the 6 year old? Idgaf if she lost an eye for that shit catra should have taken both and shadow weavers and hordaks.

Also if she's capable of scratching an eye out at SIX don't you think that says something of the teensy scratches on Adora? How Catra never went for anything vital? How surface level scratches are all she did? No no nuance is dead so catras actually an abuser for hurting an abuser adult as a child and having a panic attack (which btw for those of you who don't understand physical abuse against children and only know abuse in terms of your toxic middle school ex, CAN INCLUDE OUTBURSTS OF VIOLENCE WHEN PTSD IS TRIGGERED) when her literal only reason she's alive is threatened (according to the perceptions of a ln abused 6 year old who has already been told in no uncertain terms that she's gonna be disposed of as soon as Adora doesn't want her around. )

I hope none of y'all ever work with abused kids, you're genuinely awful people the way you villainize trauma responses and survival instincts in children. You'd call a little girl an abuser for hurting a child abuser.

[aizenify]

[💌] AIZEN SŌSUKE RELATIONSHIP HEADCANNONS

[NOTE]: Aizen has a variety of character arcs, so this won't be limited to any specific one. I do plan to create a more detailed version covering the different Aizen arcs in the future, but you're welcome to request any specific one in the meantime.

[ ☕️ ] My ask box is open! If you have a specific prompt you'd like me to write about—whether it's relationships, everyday activities, or anything else—don't hesitate to ask! I encourage you to suggest whatever your heart desires.

TW: none!

This will be split into 2 sections

What does Aizen look for?

— If you were Aizen’s partner, you’d definitely be someone very special to him. Looks wouldn’t be as important; rather, it would be your personality and ideologies that matter most.

— For instance, Aizen values someone who enjoys challenges and is willing to take risks. He’s all for that, but, of course, you’d also need to be cautious at times.

— Aizen greatly appreciates a deep understanding of the world. I like to think that he and his partner would engage in philosophical conversations daily. He’d want someone to explore the world with, to venture into new places, and try new experiences. Aizen definitely strikes me as the type to enjoy travel.

— He would want someone who challenges him. Given who Aizen is, he wouldn’t be interested in a partner who is passive or follows the crowd. He wants someone who will challenge his ideas, his ethics, and his worldview. He seeks someone who is on the same intellectual level, someone equal to him, or perhaps even better. This is something he has always longed for.

— I believe Aizen is sapiosexual, meaning he is attracted to people with high intelligence, and also likely demisexual or somewhere on the aromantic/asexual spectrum. He deeply values intelligence and personal space. For him, the sexual aspects of a relationship would not be his focus; instead, he values the fundamentals. His understanding of "love" is more complex than that of most people.

— Building on what I mentioned about his view on love, you would also need to respect his needs and be patient. Trust is essential here. Aizen doesn’t easily trust anyone, so the idea of him loving someone would make him feel extremely vulnerable. While he views trust as a form of reliance, his approach to trust in relationships is different. His way of showing trust and love will likely be expressed through his actions. Perhaps after Muken, Aizen would become more open and free. Muken Aizen, after all, is much more carefree and relaxed.

I’ll keep this section as is since it’s getting long. I’ll leave the rest for another day!

What will Aizen be like with his S/O?

— Aizen would likely ask for your thoughts on his plans or if you have any alternative suggestions for execution. He enjoys the sound of his own voice, so don’t be surprised if he rambles on about his strategies or just shares his thoughts from time to time.

— He will shower his partner with gifts and words of affirmation. Aizen is incredibly attentive and will take note of even the smallest details about what you like, even if you haven’t explicitly told him.

— Quality time will be very important to him as well. Despite his preference for solitude, having someone by his side will be a refreshing change. After being alone for so long, it’s natural to crave companionship. Aizen will likely plan a variety of activities for you both to enjoy together, whether it’s shopping, cooking, or simply taking a walk. Every moment with you will be meaningful.

— Physical touch is something Aizen might find unfamiliar at first. He’s used to being cautious with those around him, especially with anyone who gets too close. However, I think he would offer hugs from time to time as a way to show that he’s there for you and cares for you. If he knows you enjoy physical affection, he’ll make an effort to meet that need, even if it takes him a while to become fully comfortable with it!

— Expect a lot of playful bantering. Aizen seems like He enjoys a bit of lighthearted back-and-forth.

— Aizen will take you out on extravagant dates or to fancy venues. He is undoubtedly classy and chivalrous, he will treat you with the utmost respect and make sure you always get the best of everything!

That’s all for now! Thank you for reading!!! This is my first published hc 🧡🤎☕️

[destroyed-void]

Reblogging w thr most devastating comment someone left on here-

i like a combination of the two ideas - on one hand, yes this is just a husk Viktor's controlling. I wouldn't be surprised if *most* of Jayce is gone - at the very least, he has been stripped of all agency and autonomy he has to make Viktor feel less crushingly alone, and any will he could possibly have does nothing to help him.

On the other hand... I don't think Viktor would need to move the eyes in their sockets when all he really has to do is have husk!Jayce let go of the hammer after moving it forward a little. it's... not a process that requires that much hand-eye coordination, so there's no need to access line-of-sight.

instead, I like to take a third, secret, more fucked up option:

*jayce's consciousness is stuck helpless in that body.*

I think this could work narratively for one particular reason; for as much as Viktor wishes to assimilate Jayce, the thing that makes him love Jayce so much is that he's himself. Not just a will Viktor bent to his control. So, on a *subconscious* level, he wants Jayce to say as his own unique person that will always be at Viktor's side.

...The problem with this. is that, on a *conscious* level, Viktor is trying to assimilate everyone under his control into their absolute perfected selves who will never cause conflict or harm or suffering ever again. All bodies and beings within the Arcane are *entirely* subsumed as part of his network, no longer unique or special or separate from him. Meaning that, in all the ways that matter to Viktor, Jayce would no longer be around.

and, as such, he tries to have both things at once without even realizing it. Jayce's mind is left intact, but his physical form and presence in the Arcane can only follow Viktor's will. So Jayce's mind is shunted out of the Arcane and sealed away helpless inside his old form, that he can only move at all when he doesn't go *against Viktor's will* as Viktor actively controls it (thus shifting eyes). Viktor never realized this.

Omg guys??? The eye movement??? Are you telling me Jayce is alive in there??? And are you telling me this means Viktor chills with him so he won’t be alone for eternity???

[pixie05love]

Wow, okay, after reading chap 285 and this post, I think I have a new and more positive perspective of the Kaisagi team up and Isagi's development.

(Please read the post I've linked. It was very insightful, and it helped me a lot to get to this conclusion. Also *points a gun to your temple* Go follow @mvrdermeharder She's the best, ty)

Now, from that post, I agree a lot on the positive impact the kaisagi team up had on Kaiser.

Back in chap 279, it was revealed that Noa was using Isagi and agreed to join the NEL only to evolve Kaiser, so he'd have someone who'd boost him higher to help him beat his current opponent, Loki:

Look at Kaiser's expression when Noa agrees to all of his questions and realises that Noa was using him to his own benefits:

Mild disappointment and acceptance are written all over his face. He had just witnessed how his mentor admitted using him (just like with Isagi) for his personal benefits and... he could do nothing about it. Kaiser had been used by Noa, and he could only accept it.

Now It is not like Kaiser liked or cared about Noa in a way but, someone like him, who was privated of his childhood, who had gone through abuse and has to experience and see how all these events still have an effect on him (remember the scene where he chocked himself as a trauma response) must have been extremely frustrating for him to know that, even now, he still doesn't have full control of his life, not even in soccer.

The thing is, Kaiser is not alone here. Isagi was also "betrayed" by Noa. It wasn't in the same level of traumatic as Kaiser because Isagi does not have a troubled past like him. But, hey, a betray is a betray. Isagi wants to win just like Kaiser, and Isagi doesn't have to go through Kaiser's past to understand what he must have felt after hearing Noa's words.

Isagi was used by his idol and mentor, the same person who inspired him to play soccer, so it had to have some level of effect on his psyche, too. Just look at his expressions when he talks to him. He was definitely hurt by Noa's words:

What Isagi feels here is not only frustration for being used by his mentor and idol but frustration for being used by a "genius"

This arc is about geniuses vs non geniuses, and Isagi felt hopeless against Noa because he saw how geniuses were toying with non geniuses to "take the spotlight from them."

Loki, Noa, Rin, they are all praised by everyone, outshining non geniuses who are the ones who have more complex plans but need the support of others to make them happen.

Geniuses are also non logical, so you cannot explain or understand why they did x or y, whereas non geniuses' strategies, once they are figured out by geniuses, have little to no chances against them because physically, geniuses tend to be way better than them (it's in their genes, dude. We've all met someone who is very good at something without trying)

It's frustrating when every effort you make is completely futile against the natural advantages of talented players.

So it's here when Isagi and Kaiser connect:

Yes, Isagi teams up with Kaiser because he wants to win but he is only able to have Kaiser agree to do so because they both share the same objectives:

Surpassing Noa and Rin, two geniuses that are both the wall Isagi and Kaiser have to overcome in order to discard their previous egos (what I believe Isagi calls "personal feelings") and create a new ego that not only will redefine this match but the current perception soccer has of non geniuses.

And also proving that non geniuses can win against geniuses by themselves [This one is more on Isagi's side since it doesn't seem like Kaiser is interested in proving such thing]:

Isagi, ironically, is being "considered" of Kaiser's feelings/situation here. This is why I don't think he discarded his empathy. That's his best weapon after all. He knows using Kaiser for his own goal won't make him cooperate because Isagi already knows what it feels to be used as a tool, so he won't do the same thing again with Kaiser.

This explains why Isagi let luck decide who scores the last goal. If is Isagi who scores, it won't be because he used Kaiser, It was luck who chose him. The same goes for Kaiser. None of them will use the other one. They'll cooperate to get both what they want -> It's a mutual agreement where both recognise each other as an individual with an ego to fulfil:

They are "healing" together from Noa's betrayal while also fulfilling what their egos desire without using each other as a tool.

That is, if you ask me, very considerated and empathetic of Isagi (for Kaiser, since Isagi is the first person to take in consideration his feelings and not only use him for his skills), but also very egotistic of him for doing all that to achieve his desire of winning.

So I don't think Isagi stopped being empathetic (maybe I just don't want to believe so idk), because that's what differentiates him from the rest -> His capability of making someone work with him, of changing fate by using his understanding of his surroundings and the opponents/teammates' mental state to his own benefit (while still taking them in consideration so he makes them work according to his plan).

I believe that's what Isagi meant by "becoming a machine" and "leaving his personal feelings aside" to focus even more on the rest so he has control over them.

It's like a symbiotic relationship between being empathetic and being egotistic/?

His weapon is his empathy which he pushes to its limits thanks to his ego, and it's what will lead him to achieve what said ego desires (winning for the sake of winning).

.

.

.

or at least that's how I understood it lol

[hispanthicc]

Sex As A Guy Who Got Fat On Purpose

I like sex. I enjoy sex a lot. I haven't always "gotten off" during sex but that wasn't really a priority for me because I just liked the act of doing it. I think mostly I enjoyed getting my partner off. I used to have a lot of sex, or at least a lot in comparison to now, but since i've gained weight I haven't had much sex or any at all really.

I didn't realize how much this lack of sex was affecting me. I think having sex and being able to find people to have sex with me made me feel attractive. So the lack of it has made me feel unattractive, at least to locals. Online people seem to still find me attractive. I know that just because I haven't had it doesn't mean that I am unattractive. I know there are also a lot of factors that play into it. Anyways I went from having it regularly to not having it at all.

Gaining is hard for me so for the first few years of me trying to get fat on purpose I was basically just skinny, toned, and had a slightly rounded tummy which would completely disappear if I flexed. I could pass as skinny for a while. Then COVID hit and my physical activity levels became non existent. I very quickly went from being stuck at 130 lbs all the way to 220 lbs at my highest during 2020-2021. I also had a serious surgery which meant I couldn't do anything for about a year. So I got pretty chunky for a bit. then I lost like 40 lbs after going through a break up. which btw was not a sexual relationship, and I think that also affected me a lot in a negative way. Especially because of some of the things he said in the end which made me feel really unattractive.

I'm not really the type of guy that chases anyone or initiates anything and this has nothing to do with my weight because i've never pursued anyone that isn't already pursuing me. I am really shy and the very few times i've tried, i've been rejected. So I don't. This usually just leads to me talking to a bunch of guys that i'm not attracted to which definitely doesn't lead to sex.

I used to be really open sexually. i've found thing i've written and posted from years ago that I would probably be too shy or too embarrassed to say now. But being with my ex he kinda made me feel a lot of shame for the things that I liked sexually or was attracted to. Since then I find it hard to connect with people sexually.

I think i'm also afraid that if I am too open sexually it'll attract the wrong kinds of people, which is something I unfortunately have experience with.

Most of the guys that are attracted to me are usually not locals and unfortunately means that a lot of the communication is all talk. They usually want me to send nudes or they want to send me nudes and sometimes looking is nice but I am not always in the mood to take pics for someone especially when they're probably just gonna disappear when they cum. Online sexual communication doesn't really do it for me. I want it in real life, the online barrier is frustrating and it honestly feels no different than jerking off to porn, which is fine but the real thing is so much better. There seems to be a lack of a real personal connection with it and it feels like i'm like mentally turned off by it. I never ask for nudes because I don't want anyone asking me for nudes. I genuinely hate when I’m talking to someone and they're so nice at first and then they say "Can I see more of you" because then it feels like they didn't mean any of the compliments they were just trying to soften me up to get nudes out of me. I usually only send stuff like that to friends.

It also seems like guys are more focused on what they want instead of what I want and many of them say things like "I want to do this to you" and never "would you like it if I did this to you" which maybe isn't that big of a deal but it comes across as less caring,

I don't know how I appear to others but I would say currently I look pretty chubby all over and I don't think I would be mistaken for skinny even when I suck in. Sometimes I shock myself when I see my reflection or see a pic someone else took. My body is bigger all over and it's still very new to me to actually be a fat guy. I like the way I look and I like the way being fat feels. I feel sexually aroused by it and I keep trying to make myself bigger and bigger but I know that isn't a common thing for people to be into IRL. So it's kinda like "do I lose weight so that I can be physically appealing enough to have sex irl" or do I just keep gaining cuz it makes me happier in general even if it is killing my sex life. I also think about how a lot of people in the gainer community are Asexual-ish or their sexuality is so tied to the fat that if I did lose weight i'd probably lose the affection of those people too. So many times I see "so-and-so lost weight and now I’m not attracted to them anymore" which is extremely hurtful even if it doesn't apply to me at the moment.

I wish I wasn't so shy but I’m not sure that it would matter. I feel like everyone has an idea of what they want in a partner (sexually or romantically) and I’m not sure that I fit, no pun intended, what people want where I live, and I hate knowing that eventually i'll probably have to move just to find someone.

I also know that my tragic dating life and non existent sex life are my fault. I'm not an easy person to get close to or be with but I’m trying to learn how let people in and be the best I can be for someone whenever I do actually connect.

[the-femboy-yapper]

I love characters that have spawned into the world one day rather than being born. Who started existing at a teen/adult age and were never able to have an actual childhood. Who's physical and mental age are not the amount of time they've been on this world, but something someone came up with one day. Who feel alienated from other people as a result of this. Who don't even have parents. Who are doomed to a life of misery for no other reason than their mere existence. Who have never been told "I love you," because even the people who do care are too busy dealing with their own shit to properly express themselves. I love characters that barely count as human, if they count at all, because they weren't created naturally. At their simplest form, they're not blood and muscle and bones, but a sloppily put together pile of low-level supernaturals or words in a book or I can't think of any other examples off the top of my head but feel free to put some in the reblogs.

[kittenwriter]

Cure narratives: when fiction depicts a disability being cured. Because no one on the internet has nuance, it wound up getting overwhelmingly presented as "you should never depict curing disabilities because that's ableist." This rested on the fact that for neurodivergence-type disabilities, "curing" the disability means fundamentally changing the person; you're born neurodivergent and it's an integral part of who you are. (And also this slides really, really easily into eugenics.)

But disability is a broad umbrella! Even with the social model of disability (and if you want a beautiful fictional examination of the social model, look up The Fledging of Az Gabrielson; the author thought through every detail of what it would mean to not have wings in a world where everyone has wings), chronic pain is disabling no matter how well society accommodates it. The vast majority of people with chronic pain would like to not have chronic pain.

There are also some things that exist on a spectrum. I'm not qualified to give an expansive discourse on Deaf culture, but there is a schism between the people who are culturally Deaf and see that as worth preserving and the oralists who lean into cochlear implants and seeking to eliminate it. (For that matter, while it's highly taboo to talk about it and I don't think it's common, neurodivergent people who want a cure do exist. I'm not going to get into all the complications and controversies of John Elder Robison because that's an essay in itself, but look at his book Switched On for something adjacent to that perspective.)

So you wind up with a lengthy set of discussions about what is and isn't acceptable to depict-- and it's a lot like every other diversity discussion in that market-level generalizations wind up getting held against individual authors. It's a problem if every depiction of disability shows cures (and then you get the related things like the "not really blind" trope where you have characters who are supposedly blind but magic or technology allows them to function as though they weren't with no problems)-- but that got turned into (because no one on the internet has nuance) "you should never depict cures and if you do you're ableist," which in turn sparked backlash from the people for whom the cure narrative is wish fulfillment. (I have myself joked about being a Bad Disabled because my own desires as regards cure do not align with the "You must be proud of your ENTIRE DISABILITY" narrative.)

There's also the fact that even among the wish-fulfillment people, sometimes you want to read about someone who is suffering what you're suffering the way you're suffering it without it being magically cured at the end! Or what's desired is fantasy assistance devices that function like actual assistance devices in that they have drawbacks and trade-offs and assist without making the character functionally not disabled.

So I feel like the people in anon's fandoms probably got into the "it is ableist to depict cures" thing with the same level of nuance typical of People On The Internet (which is to say, none) and then mangled it even farther. There's probably also some influence here from a related conversation, that of using fantasy substitutes instead of giving your character real-life actual disabilities, but again, that's a spectrum and depends a lot on how well you do it, and I see it happening more frequently with people wanting to write Stereotype Neurodivergence without considering whether it has any resemblance to actual neurodivergence than I see it with physical disabilities. (See also Sheldon Cooper.)

So now that we've gotten to the end of my essay (this is probably a bit more than you thought you were getting when you asked the question), further reading if you're still so inclined:

"The Trope of Curing Disability" at Disability in Kid Lit

"Disability Tropes 101: The Magical Cure" at Dis(abled) Embodiment

Brilliant Imperfection by Eli Clare

The Disability Visibility Project

"The Complexities of Curing Disabilities" by Emily Ladeau

And finally, a bunch of people having a conversation on Reddit.

(And now we have proved once again that you can take the girl out of the library but you can't take the librarian out of the girl.)

Tagging question! In canon, a character has a magic-induced health problem. Basically, every so often, he has days moving his back in any way causes staggering amounts of pain and he has severe fatigue. He can't get upright under his own power during severe episodes. Painkillers do not work. The frequency of episodes starts off once every few months but by this point in canon has become a once or twice a week problem. It can hit right out of nowhere even if he was fine all day today or he can wake up with it.

Fandom wank being what it is, people keep insisting to me that this is not a disability. I tagged the fic with Disabled Character because since he's the main character of the fic and this... look, I'm not disabled? I could be wrong. But to me this feels like a disability. If I met someone with this IRL with a non-magical cause I would go, "I 100% believe this qualifies as a disability" without question. But oh, wow. The fandom does NOT agree with me on this. I've gotten several annoyed remarks by people informing me that this is belittling the pain actual disabled people have because disabilities, unlike curses, can't be lifted. And I can see that there's a difference. Thing is, he can't canonically afford to pay to have the curse lifted. He's stuck with it.

Because every single person in this conversation is abled, though, I feel like they're not who I should be listening to. OTNF, I know your readership includes disabled people. Do you/they have any suggestions? Does he qualify as disabled, or am I too attached to my headcanon-y idea of him as being a metaphor for disability?

--

I don't think that's a metaphor. I think that's a canonically (magically) disabled character.

What say you, readers?

[siringadev]

Guys, when I rewatched DoC once again, I found one detail that turned my entire understanding of Nero's ending upside down. The thing is, we all collectively believed that Nero was mortally wounded by Weiss under Hojo's control, that Nero left his physical body and then appeared before Weiss in his astral form, banished Hojo, etc. However, there is a short moment that I and we all missed. When dark Nero appeared before Weiss, Hojo looked at the place where Nero's body lay and noticed in a panic that the body was gone. What does this mean?

Nero did not die? And never was? It seems that either he pretended to die to fool Hojo (like in the remake he pretended to be destroyed in the battle with the Wutai warriors to then stab him from behind), or he absorbed his physical body and transformed it into an astral body of darkness, or his body was always this fluid, something between physical and metaphysical. He can teleport, pass through objects, his body is obviously not human-like, but demigod like. He is immortal.

In the remake, Nero's body is constantly changing, disappearing and reappearing, I noticed how there was no one in the tanker, just a cloud of darkness, then Nero's silhouette appears. Can he really be contained, or is he fooling Shinra, giving them the illusion of control like that meaningless restrictive suit and restrictive code that Nero could easily break?

When Nero attacks Sonon, he is invisible, he turns into a stream of dark energy, and only his wings are visible. Perhaps he can materialize in parts like the Cheshire Cat.

Does this mean that Nero is physical in this scene when he hugs Weiss and then merges with him?? Although we do not know the exact nature of his body and his dark power. Darkness/Void is described as a mysterious bioplasm, a stagnant lifestream, accumulated from the negative mental energy of souls. From this stagnant energy, Chaos was born too. So, on a divine level, Nero, Weiss (born from pure lifestream energy, hence his nickname Immaculate) and Vincent are brothers.

And after Nero merged with Weiss, Nero's like dark energy can be seen when Vincent fights Omega Weiss.

Before After

I don't think Nero is omnipotent, he also shows weakness, he suffers, he feels pain. But he is also strong and immortal like Sephiroth. In DoC online mod Nero was kept in the basement in such terrible conditions. Could he escape or did he voluntarily stay there so as not to subject Weiss to suffering, because Weiss could not escape because of the chip with the virus in his brain.

Here he is in agony screaming Weiss' name and crying when he learns that Weiss will die in three days if he kills Restrictor.

What do you think about this?

[3416]

okay none of this is coherent bc i'm on the verge of sleep at 9pm rn but that right hand man as dog post literally has my gears turning bc that's mitch fucking marner bro. that's mitch and there are so many levels to it. mitch who has made his whole career being the assist guy... takes pride in the fact that he can help the team even if that results in his point accumulation seeming lesser bc they're not goals. taking advantage of the skills and iq he possesses to try to make the people around him better and literally set them up for success...always the first one there to congratulate them on it too.... literally naming his whole foundation the marner assist foundation bc he embraces that role on a team with a generational goal scorer who's made it clear he wants to play with MITCH and appreciates mitch's talent and communication. like. actually his right winger... his right hand man. okay and even happy with being the second best, as he's been for large portions of his life w an older bro who's good at everything right on into a stacked draft class.

and mitch personality wise gets the dog description sometimes too. loyal, happy go lucky, wants to be around his guys all the time, and it's where he's the happiest and thrives the most. he's energetic, he's buzzin, he's willing to entertain, he's the life and love in that room in so many ways that are loud.... that bark but don't necessarily bite (THOUGH THEY CAN BITE. criticism can be doled out and taken as long as it's from the right places with him) but like. especially when he was younger too, he was literally the team emotional support puppy who loved cuddles and attention and with age comes protection from the outside a little bit..,. dialing back what he's willing to show or admit to people on the outside but it's still there and what keeps the camaraderie alive despite an ever rotating roster. and i kNOW. i know. so much dog imagery and symbolism has to do with being protective and fierce, and in hockey for mitch that doesn't necessarily translate on the ice the same way bc he's not big and rough and physically forward the way some people wish he was, but he probably would take a bullet for most of those guys. and in ways, he has taken on the shield or become the punching bag... he was with babcock, he's taken on the scapegoat with media so a lot of critique is thrown squarely at him for group failure. he's the martyr even if that's not exactly what he signed up for.

he's grown more guarded but he's LITERALLY. literally. a dog. a dawg. auston's dawg.... their dawg. the epitome of lots of good things about hockey culture (and i'm sure some bad too), but he embodies so much of the loyalty.. the side kick.. the best friend energy in some ways.... it makes me emo. and....... and to think of him with his own dog trying to recreate unbridled joy from his childhood (cut to those pics of him as a kid w his chocolate lab vs him now w zeus).... like he's desperate for love and recognition of his loyalty and companionship. he's gotten used to being second fiddle, not necessarily in any resentful way but like. these past few weeks he's kind of gotten to step up and be the guy™. he's the heartbeat...... the dog's not usually meant to be the main character but maybe he is worthy of it.

[patrice-bergerons]

I know jfj has a patological need to be loved, but I think francis is the most touch-starved (and emotionally scarred against romantic love) after sophia (who had every right to refuse him imho)

Send me terror/fitzier asks!

You are spot on, I think. Although I would venture further and say that I don't think James wants love as much as approval and validation. He wants to be useful and to be liked, because on practical terms it's how he ensures his place and standing in the world and on a more subconscious level- I can't see him having grown up with a lot (or even a little bit) of love. He knows he is a bastard, that his name was made up for his baptism, that they had to find people to raise him, which means someone told him all that, and given the baggage he carries, how he says he always believed he deserved more and the whole brother im a fake speech, I can't imagine that being told to him with any real level of care. Which then makes you wonder about the people who raised him. My sense with him is that he has perhaps never known real love in his life and thus love is entirely outside his orbit. He wants glory and recognition. He wants to be seen. But love i think was always too out of reach and unknown for him to even bother with or strive for.

Francis, on the other hand, knows love. Somewhere on tumblr there is a devastating gifset of Francis in one panel stroking his thumb over Sophia’s arm and in the other over James’s hand as James lies dying. That man thrives on physical touch. With Sophia too, she says she has seen his dresser, which like, there is no proper circumstance in which a Victorian lady should have been to his bedroom, which tells me perhaps they have gone well above and beyond the parameters of proper courtship. To know and to lose such a thing must be infinitely more painful. And she has refused him twice. There would be something wrong with him if he wasn't scarred. 😔 (on a side note i adore it when fics explore this!!)

I also agree with you re Sophia being well within her rights to refuse him. It is no crime to want to have a husband who is around, who can provide for you and who wants broadly the same things from life as you— and triply so if you are a woman in 1840s England and your wards are against a match. The only thing I do fault her for is that she after refusing him still asked him to go on the expedition to look after sir John. Even there though, it is such a human thing to do and we deserve to have female characters who are allowed to be flawed without being instantly condemned for it.

[crownedwithstars]

I wonder about this idea of Lúthien as an incredibly powerful demigod, too, because I don't think that's what the text is saying at all? There are multiple moments when she is threatened or overtaken by (physically) more powerful characters, and in some of the pivotal moments like her confrontation with Sauron, she's backed up by Huan and he is the one who overpowers and pins Sauron down. Only when Sauron is restrained can Lúthien make her own threats against him. IMHO there really isn't anything in B&L - or the Silm - that implies the kind of power level Lúthien is nevertheless assigned by fandom. Her strengths don't lie in direct physical attacks or aggression. Her powers are more in stealth, enchantment and in some kind of metaphysical influence of the world (or, specifically the Music of the Ainur) that links with her powers of song. She does achieve the impossible with her actions, but like it was already said, it's not because of her powers, it's because she's a Tolkienian heroine whose courage, estel and perseverance carry her through. If Lúthien has equivalents in the legendarium it's Sam and Frodo, and there are a lot of implications in the text of both the Silm and LOTR that indicate that's the context her story and character should be understood in. 

as blatantly misogynistic as the "luthien enchanted celegorm" theory/headcanon/whatever they call it is, i do think an interesting concept is a celegorm who convinces himself that luthien enchanted him to explain his own abhorrent behavior, because even he can't quite accept how low he's gone -- i.e. he tells himself that the lust and desire to possess luthien that at least significantly motivated his actions toward her was a result of some maiarin enchantment on her part. it doesn't quite align with my personal reading of the character (though it's not wholly incompatible with it either), but celegorm with his own hellfire-adjacent musical number would be a hell of an aesthetic