#but I don't think it was on a physical level

[penny-anna]

not to vague but when i was a teenager i really heavily internalised the idea that being bi/pan was on some level the most 'enlightened' sexual orientation bcos well u know everyone's at least a little bisexual and gender is made up and if you think about it having a preference is kind of like being prejudiced etc etc.

anyway then I went out into the world aged 18 and tried really really hard to be bisexual in practice and it turned out i was not bisexual. i tried dating a man and pretty much as soon as we got physical realised i just was not attracted to men.

i spent the next few years being fully aware that i was a lesbian but variously 1) declining to self-describe as a lesbian 2) telling people i was 'like, 90% gay' 3) being like well sexuality is fluid so im not one of those boring old-fashioned lesbians who's only attracted to women 4) saying well u know there MIGHT be a man out there for me. can't rule it out just bcos i haven't found one yet.

eventually i came across a blog post written by a friend of mine talking about a lot of the things i'd been feeling and describing them as 'internalised lesbophobia' and i remember sitting there is. is this not just what I'm supposed to believe? is this not the progressive way to be a lesbian?

i'd have been well into my 20s at the time and i think that was the first time i realised i was allowed to only be attracted to women 👍and don't get me wrong heteronormativity and compulsory heterosexuality were major factors in this but let me tell you the stuff i was picking up in LGBT spaces was not helping.

anyways no i promise you not everyone is bisexual, i have checked 🌈

[summertimesadnessirl]

I'm not tired. Like... sleeping doesn't fix it. It makes it worse.

Avoiding physical activities doesn't make me feel better.

What I am is...

I just don't believe that there is any future situation where I will ever be allowed to choose a life for myself where I am happy, safe, comfortable, not constantly worried about money, not particularly under anyone's thumb, and not particularly inhibited by any artificial structures that exist to slow me down just to slow me down. I am pretty sure my choices are literally death or other people forcing me into stuff that makes me want to die all the time just to get my basic needs met until I die.

I keep attempting suicide and then being like fine in two days.

What I want is suicide since I'm not able to be useful enough to earn other people being respectful to me and a comfy little middle class life. I thought I had found a path to get those things but it took years to build it up and someone destroyed it and told all my friends to go to mad at you island in the hatred of a minute and then framed me for it and I'll never be able to prove they did that.

I never was going to be able to do like... anything and everything forever but if I can't have the lifestyle I had in 2019 and 2020 and that level of freedom of choice and agency over my own life and the ability to pay for support and medical care when I need it and yes, that percentage of disposable income to expenses and debt ratio, I want to die. I don't wanna be a billionaire. I think I could do their jobs. Everyone probably could do a lot of their jobs. I think the computer does a lot more of their jobs than we all think. But I'm sorry, I deserve a savings for emergencies and to be able to rely on being able to pay off the debts I take out easily and to be able to buy a bunch of stupid books and shoes just as much as anyone else and I don't care if that means I'm "in my ego" or I'm "delusional" or "entitled."

I deserve to get paid to interact with othe people, too, because they all make it so draining and annoying. And I deserve to dictate the terms of who I interact with and make the rules about them not being allowed to forget important things about me or be mean to me. Why not? It's not me having those things that would prevent other people from having them, it's some kind of insane mutant beast from an ayn rand novel

"Are you ok?" I'm actually tired bro. From the bottom of my heart I'm tired

[tarotbyjam24]

What're your gifts and abilities ?

Likes and reblogs are very much appreciated :) thankyou for stopping by <3 🌷

disclaimer : Reading may or may not resonate . Take only what resonates leave the rest .🧚🏻

pile1. Pile 2.

pile 1 : Hi pile 1 , let's see what's there for you through this reading:) you're good at thinking out of box ,you've open mindset ,ready to accept new things , you've broad horizons , you're also good at praying so like in the sense of sprituality you can get your wishes granted by doing prayers . I'm also getting hopohopono prayer . You're also good at fighting be it verbal or physical means you just have a good body built or you could have air signs dominancy in your charts even mercury too . You also have a great gift of instropection which makes you shine among others . I also feel your throat chakra could be very active too if not you should work with that chakra . You also have the ability to come out of the saddest situations . No matter how much hurt you have been you alsways come out through it breaking all the walls and face it all with great responsibility without being embarrassed about your life's situations. I also feel you have an amazing ability of leading things innately . People may also get hypnotize by you when they see you . People may also like to do what you say without questioning it . You have ability of creating a mind map for the things in your brain like those people who will think it all in their brain first from zero to end and then put it down on paper . This is giving solving a biggg equation in your mind and then just writing a single line answer . I feel people may get happy after they see you like you've this vibe to yourself that changes the air of the room you enter in . It's your aura that does it . You're also the one who don't likes to take advice from others and just do whatever their heart truly desires . You don't run from problems . You fight them with the swords in both hands . When life throw lemon at you ,you make lemonade Outta them . That's all pile 1 I hope you enjoyed the reading . Bless you 🍪 see y'a soon🖤

pick a cards

pile 2 : Hi pile 2 ,let's see what's there for you through this reading :) you have this magical ability in yourself through which you can see through dark and be the light for others . You're also kinda magic stick that helps others to find the magic within themselves. I feel you may also have good physique without working out or you may have a strong gut with fast mukbang metabolism. You're the person who likes to be in their world . If you're alone it won't bother you at all but you're most likely to create something when you're alone like you can get mind-blowing ideas when you're in your own world. You're for real super innovative. You're also definition of live more lives dance more dances . You also got thid motherly nature to you regardless of genders .you maybe the mama bear of your friend group . You're also the one who can protect everyone . You're people's rock pile 2 .You're also super passionate. You've this constant fire to move forward in life doesn't matter if people stay with you or not . You're constantly levelling up all 4 seasons but you also take care of yourself which sometimes people forget . You're someone who doesn't get swayed away . You've very strong supportive system build for yourself whether it's you alone or people around . You can also be your strongest support system. It doesn't always need to be people around us . Sometimes they're the one who breaks it . That's all pile 2 I hope you enjoyed the reading . Bless you 🍪 . See y'a soon🖤

pick a cards

can you detect the minute difference between those 2 colours of piles ?

Thankyou so much for letting me read for you .I'm very grateful that I'm able to share my abilities with you all . It's been a great experience. Reading may or may not resonate with you since it's a general reading . Please take the reading lightly as nothing's set in stone until you believe so . If the reading doesn't resonate there were no messages for you through this reading ! 🤍🧚🏻I'm grateful if you read the reading . Wishing you all the great week ahead 🎀 and bless you all 🫶🏻🩷

💕 love ,jam

Dividers by @aquazero

[chaotic-archaeologist]

So to make a long story semi short; during fall term a couple unknowing found a set of mastodon teeth and brought to my anthropology professor at the college, since then they conducted some field work and found more bone. They obviously stopped because of winter but in summer the college will be offering a field work class to go help at the site. I want to do that, but as mentioned before I have Cerebral Palsy which means I don't have a lot of upper body strength or flexibility. But I can still do a lot. My I guess problem is my Professors respect me and that's hard for me to get with all the ableism and I worked hard these last two semesters to break out of my shell to get here , I guess I just don't want to 1. make a fool of myself 2. be a hindrance and/or mess something up

any advice?

This sounds like an incredible opportunity, and I would definitely encourage you to pursue it! I hear your concerns about embarrassing yourself and being a hindrance, but I think you should reframe your thinking around facts that 1) everybody deserves learning experiences regardless of their physical ability, and 2) there are things you can do that will be an asset to the excavation.

Some of these things include taking notes and photographs, documenting and storing finds, and working with any digital tools like GPS units. You may also be able to do lab work and different kinds of analysis, depending on what they find and how they run the program. A good supervisor (although not all are created equal) will be willing to work with you to come up with a plan for how you can participate and what that will look like.

Usually, classes like this have applications where students list their relevant coursework and write a brief personal statement about why they want to participate. There are a couple of ways you could go about this in regards to disclosing your disability and seeking accommodations. You can either:

Disclose early: this would entail including something about your disability in your personal statement, in an email to the professor running the dig, etc.

Disclose later: submit your application without mentioning your disability. Feel free to mention how hard you've worked to get where you are, and if you want to talk about vague challenges with your health as part of that, it's up to you. If you are accepted to the dig, ask for a meeting with the supervisor where you can then explain your needs and what you are able to do.

Generally, I advise erring on the side of disclosing later rather than earlier. As I'm sure you're aware, prejudice and implicit bias are unfortunately a thing, and sometimes the only way to protect yourself from those impeding your application is to withhold information (although obviously this isn't an option if the professor already knows you). Additionally, you have legal protections against discrimination that are much easier to enforce after you have been accepted.

That being said, I've been heartened to see that more and more people in archaeology spaces are thinking about what accessibility means in field settings and how to include people with disabilities.—perhaps this is also the case with whoever is running this dig. Archaeology is for everyone, and there are many roles in an excavation for someone who can't do physical labor.

Finally, I'll close with some resources that might be helpful.

The Disabled Archaeologists Network: while I don't think they have a ton of programming for undergraduates (yet), membership is free and can put you in touch with

Field Tested: an article about a disabled student who was able to participate in a geology field school (similar levels of work to an archaeology one). It discusses some of the accommodations the student needed, and what they were able to do.

Here's an article by Dr. Anita Marshall, the professor who ran that accessible field school. Its content isn't substantially different from the one I linked above, but at the end it also cites some good literature about accessibility in field work. You should be able to access a lot of those publications through your institution's library or @jstor's free (or institutional) service.

Good luck, -Reid

[tech-issues-apologies]

To be clear, I am not recommending keto, but one of the other things I would recommend is on top of the general good advice of paying more attention to what you put in your body is to consider the ratio of what you are eating. What kinds of fats and carbs are you eating? Are you eating enough protein? Are you eating protein and fats with those carbs. Are you drinking enough water? Are you eating the micronutrients you need? Getting enough sleep? Managing stress?

Some of this is to address general health, and some of this is about healthy fat storage management and managing insulin sensitivity(which are interconnected). Some are about managing the hunger response. Some of this is just to help not feal shitty and crash part way through every day. And yeah, exercise is vital for health, too. It literally is bad for your brain to not exercise enough. I took garbage care of myself and felt like shit for solid chunks of my adult life until I took my health seriously. And I don't want to pretend this is trivial. Especially if your health is already bad, you're not going to be in the best head space to solve the issues you are having. It is constant trial and error, and some of it's going to change as you age. For me, a huge component I was struggling with relates exercise. I love exercising. I find it genuinely enjoyable. But I wasn't eating enough to sustain that level of activity. On top of that, I constantly have to be careful about not exercising too much or i would hurt my self. A lot of this is just going to be figuring out what your body needs and what it can do. And often it's going to be less than you'd like.

And to be clear, this is useful Info regardless of what your health or "weight problem" is, under, or over. I don't think we should shame people or make people feel unatractove for what their body looks like, but things can get out of hand in either direction and cause health issues, and I think that pretending otherwise just undermines the credibility of body equity advocacy. I wish it was not the case, but those issues have caused multiple family members of mine to need constant and significant physical assistance from me as a result of those issues.

Me: Exercise does not cause weight loss. This is a fact that has been demonstrated so robustly in research that even doctors, who hate and fear evidence, are grudgingly starting to admit this.

Someone reading that post: Cool, but have you considered that exercise leads to weight loss?

Me: I am going to eat you

[signanothername]

I do agree with it being a genuine issue that people can't fathom relationships that aren't romantic or sexual but as equally devoted to each as those ones.

It's an issue in fandom and also in real life.

I'm very very close with my best friend and I have the same level of devotion towards them as one would a romantic partner. I'd buy a house with them or raise a kid, stuff like that. But we aren't romantically/sexually involved with each other and don't ever want to be.

Also because we are physically affectionate with each other people are always asking if we are having sex or if we are dating or when are we going to date.

It's aggravating because somehow our commitment for each other is viewed as lesser because we aren't doing all that.

I do think it's how we are socialized as we are growing up that makes this an issue.

(Excuse me while I stand on my soap box about platonic physical affection) People like to forget that we are a species that not only craves physical affection but we also Need it to some degree to be healthy, like human babies will straight up perish if they aren't held enough. We don't exactly grow out of that.

(This is, of course, excluding people who don't want to be touched and such. Works the same way as a healthy food, tho it's good for you not everyone is gonna like that food or eat it.)

OH ABSOLUTELY

Unfortunately, the social norm is that romance/sex is superior by default (which is absolute bullshit), all sorts of love are of the same importance, whether romantic or platonic

I think it also comes with the lack of understanding that we have different social needs, for example, I personally can’t even understand the concept of crushes at all, (like wait, people getting romantic feelings for someone they don’t know is real?????? Love at first sight isn’t a bullshit movie thing and people actually fall in love at first sight?????)

My understanding doesn’t matter as much as my behavior does, just because I don’t understand how someone can fall in love with another person who they don’t know doesn’t mean I’ll go and tell someone with a crush that their love is invalid just because I don’t understand it personally

People on the other hand, are very comfortable telling people who aren’t romantically involved to “get on with it” or to ask invasive questions such as “when are you going to date” cause they lack the understanding that people can be just as devoted platonically as people who are devoted romantically

The difference was never the devotion, it’s just the type of love you share, and how you share it

As for physical affection, you’re absolutely right, we are social species by default but with different social needs, some people need physical affection to function, others don’t, some only need it at certain times in certain circumstances and so on

These differences between us is what makes us human, but alas, the majority think that their norm must be the norm for everyone else

Anyway, it’s so sweet to know you have your best friend, hope you guys live long happy lives, take care of yourselves, your love is just as valid and true <333333

[utilitycaster]

something that struck me from some of the really good tags on this post (specifically the "tall kings") one is that most arguments against the gods or for the benefit of Predathos rely on real-world metaphors that just...don't really fit very well, and it might just be that this isn't something for which one can draw a real world metaphor, but might actually have to conceive a world that is fundamentally different than ours. The gods aren't tall kings; "destroying the throne" does not mean a coup. It means their deaths; and yes, to state the obvious a coup against a monarchy frequently involves assassinating the monarch, but it's telling that the language is carefully skirting around that. You cannot destroy the throne or remove the crown or have the gods step down in any peaceful manner; both the Matron and Arch Heart agree this only happens if the threat of Predathos is unleashed.

And Predathos. Setting aside the connotations of assigning the idea of wild deer to sentient beings, the "reintroduction of the natural predator" metaphor collapses on several points. The first is that equating "became deities, who, as the post linked above points out and per general lore, are explicitly not able to run rampant anymore". The second is that Predathos is not a wolf that once lived on Exandria but is just as foreign to the world as the gods themselves. While I reject the metaphor entirely for the initial reasons stated, it is worth keeping in mind that if you do need it as a scaffolding on which to hang foreign concepts, Predathos is less the wolf population and more a family of tigers or cheetahs: just as much an invasive species, with an impact on the environment

I think these are two major issues that need to be addressed in any conversation:

Predathos has been adopted and mythologized by several party members who are actually much more concerned about the titans, who are dead. Killing the gods will not bring back the titans. I feel this metaphor is sort of falling into that same trap; this is not a return of something native to this world.

On some level, while I understand the use of real-world metaphors to comprehend a fantasy world from a lens of familiarity - I do this as well! - I think if we cannot have a discussion that starts with "what if Predathos is in fact the embodiment of a cosmic, unending, merciless hunger that cannot be changed and cannot be swayed and can only be sealed, killed, or given free rein" we cannot have a discussion at all. I think it's necessary to acknowledge we're talking about a game that gives you a space to explore an idea as if it were physical, and which might not be able to be told within the bounds of real-world experience.

This of course also doesn't address the ongoing issue of "whether or not Bells Hells actions towards Predathos and the outcome ends up being in the moral right, the road to get here was structurally unsound and the party did not go in with the intent of doing anything specific whatsoever and indeed faltered for the most part when asked by the main villain what they wanted." Again, I don't care if Bells Hells are heroes or villains or something in between, but they don't seem to be anything or have any shared intention as a group, which I've discussed already here. But if you do want to argue that releasing Predathos could be good, I think it's necessary to have a coherent argument there, and be able to address "what if it's really fucking bad" if we're moving into the realm of the speculative. "What if this change that comes at the end of mass death might be better for the world but I have no proof" is not a very convincing argument. It is, in fact, one of the only ones Bells Hells has made a compelling case against.

[hillbillyoracle]

Chronic illness is hell don't get me wrong, but I don't necessarily envy people without it.

I've experienced such powerful blissful states from meditating with my pain that outstrip any drug I've ever taken - with no side effects once I'm done.

It was through working with my pain that I first got some glimpses into non-self and emptiness and the peace that has come from that really cannot be overstated.

I have this aspect of me that demands I come back to the body and be mindful of it, it is non-optional. This has deepened my relationship with my body and with sensing itself. It continually calls me back to my path.

I'm deeply DEEPLY aware of how temporary everything is. People who think they can eat or exercise their way to controlling their health are often the folks who handle the reality of illness the worst. I'm thankful that when things are good, I'm very aware that it's borrowed and it's as not personal as the pain is.

It's expanded my empathy so much. Because I'm always suffering on some level, I interact with people with an assumption that they're suffering as well. It's lead to many nice moments of connection.

Through meditation and chronic illness, I'm intimately aware that my happiness does not lie outside of me but rather inside of me. I've been able to release a lot of the striving that I see plaguing other people. I can access that happiness even in some dire circumstances and that capacity is growing all the time.

People will look at me with this expression of pity and gratitude that they aren't me but I look back at them and I don't really wish to be them in all honesty.

I've lost a lot of my physical independence but I've grown my spiritual, intellectual, and emotional independence exponentially. I pity the folks who don't have that.

[obsessioncollector]

Okay gather round for storytime. When I was a kid a boy used to make fun of me for "looking Jewish." I am not Jewish and I'm pretty sure he always knew that. It would be absurd for me to characterize myself as a victim of antisemitism or antisemitic bullying, or say that I was discriminated against, because I'm not actually Jewish. And because I'm not actually Jewish, his taunting had absolutely no psychological impact on me—I knew he intended it to be insulting, but little me didn't understand why it was supposed to be a bad thing, because I was very oblivious to the history of antisemitism (to the extent that I have trouble imagining an actually Jewish child would be). And I had none of the underlying insecurities I might have had if I were actually a Jewish kid growing up as a minority. It completely bounced off me. Other teasing and insults I experienced as a child stuck with me, but I only remember this because it seemed weird and random, not because it had any actual power.

I think about this often when people try to argue that they've experienced transmisogyny, for example, because they've been confused for a trans woman. On both a material and psychological level, being discriminated against, rejected, or assaulted for something you actually are is a very different experience than for something you aren't. Your physical safety isn't as jeopardized, because you have the option of retreating to "but I'm not actually like them." And psychologically, you don't sustain the same damage, because there's no kernel of real insecurity or vulnerability that the person is getting at (you may have plenty of real insecurities or vulnerabilities, but not the one they're attacking you for.)

[the-californicationist]

Do you have any tips or suggestions on how to make smut better? I know that your writing in general is levels above mine but I feel particularly like my smut is never good, and I love how you write smut. I've tried to improve but it usually feels bad. Not intimate or something? Sorry, if you don't want to you can totally disregard this, I just wondered if you had anything to share that might help a fellow writer improve? :)

I can really only say that I try to write smut that I want to read. It’s why I started writing in the first place lol 😂 I wanted (selfishly) to generate my own literary porn. And I like smut that uses all five (or “six”) senses. I like to hear how his finger sounds in your hole. I wanna know how it smells and tastes when he brings his finger to his lips. I wanna know how it looks on his hand in the dim light of the room. I need to know how it feels to be touched by him in that gentle, single-digit, exploratory sort of way. I need to know how I feel, emotionally, shamefully, to see myself gleam across his mouth.

I think people focus a lot on feeling. The physicality is the primary stimulus, so it makes sense. But, to me, in my real life life, good sex is about almost everything else. The sound of him struggling to breathe. The sound of our skin slapping against one another. The words that can’t help but crawl out of his throat and fall into my ear. For example.

And honestly, I have been pushing myself to take a chance on highlighting the negatives as well. The kitchen countertop is cold on my ass. All of his friends are in the next room, just a few feet away. His gunshot wound in his shoulder makes him wince when he tries to throw me over the couch. The little moments of reality break through the realm of fantasy/ecstasy that we’re creating, and to me, those imperfections make it good just as much as the three back to back orgasms are. Better even, sometimes.

Sorry that this is so confusing. I hope this maybe inspires you even if it doesn’t help much.

Cali Conclusion: write smut that you wanna read!🩷

[beomiracles]

reader is a coroner / pathologist and taehyun or yeonjun is a dead body they have autopsy but they come back alive and they fuck idk

ouuu this one's fun hehehe

tw, does this count as necrophilia? I mean he comes back to life but he's physically a corpse still, hm. penetrative sex, masturbation, reader thinks she's hallucinating (which quite frankly she might be)

working late hours, deep into the night; enveloped in complete and utter silence as you embalm the dead. ― lack of sleep was not uncommon, and it was not the first time you'd caught a glimpse of something through the corner of your eye.

tonight was a slow night, the only thing keeping you at ease being the knowledge that this was the last body of the night. he was young, probably his early twenties. your fingers brush over his hard and toned chest as you prepare to make an incison.

your gaze flickers to his his unmoving face, twisting it to the side as you study his sharp jaw, his long and dark lashes resting by the top of his cheeks. ― a shame, he was very handsome. you glance toward the identification band around his ankle. peering down at it as you read his name; Kang Taehyun.

turning around to fetch a scalpel, your attention diverts from the corpse momentarily. but when you spin back, your heart drops to the same level as his. ― for what you find is not a lifeless body, but what must've been a figment of your wildest imagination.

he's staring right back at you, dulled and bleak eyes, zeroed down on you solely. you think you might be seeing things, that this time your sleepless hallucinations ad finally caught up to you. but it only gets worse when he suddenly props himself up on his elbows, his brows furrowing as he studies your unmoving frame.

the corpse, no, the man chuckles, a low and breathy laugh, rumbling deep within his chest. then he moves to fully sit up, his muscles flexing as he pushes himself off the stretcher. ― "you're pretty", he exhales, his voice raspy.

the scalpel has fallen from your grasp, hitting the floor with a screeching sound, echoing off the mortuary walls. ― this wasn't happening, you had drank one coffee too little and now you were paying the consequences.

his fingers are icy cold as they grab a firm hold of your wrist, yanking you forward. you barely register the hard crash against his firm and naked chest. the towel that previously covered him had fell to the floor and you didn't dare look down as you swallowed a gulp.

imagination surely was good. there was no way he was actually alive, and there was no way you were actually straddling his lap now. perhaps you had dozed off by the supply table. then this dream was bound to be a good one..

perhaps you could just play along with whatever fabricated images your mind conjured, even if they felt scarily real.

the corpse man, you remind yourself, looks to you with dark and gleaming eyes. a smug smirk stretches across his pale lips and before you know it, he's leaned in to kiss you. his body is freezing against your flaming hot one, but you don't pull back.

in fact, you find your hand mindlessly wander between your bodies, slipping past your white robe and inside your pants. ― the low moan you emit as your fingers dip within the fabric of your panties echoes off the sterile walls.

this was wrong. yet you can't seem to stop. your other hand grips onto his shoulder, nails digging into his bare skin, easily bruising the pale hues. ― you feel him smirk into the kiss, his hard cock nudging against your thigh as you helplessly grind onto your hand.

"more", your soft whine takes you by surprise, the demanding rolling off your tongue without as much as a second thought. ― he hums, cold hands gripping at your waist as he urges you closer. you oblige by hastily unbuttoning your robe, letting it fall from your body and pool on the cold and hard stone floor.

his fingers twist the zipper of your pants, impatiently tugging them down as your bare skin is exposed to the cool air. ― "warm", he hums when he aligns his cold but hard cock against your soaked cunt. you whimper as you tremble above him, hastily nodding as you beg for him to do more.

the man just flashes you the same smirk he had been since he awakened, burying his lifeless self inside of you with one quick thrust.

[aggieharkness]

I haven't slept yet today so sorry about the time and if my datalogy is wrong. I have to say that today I read your story about Lilia with the reader who was overloading herself and this showed me how I have this self-destructive behavior more present in me than I would like or what would be healthy to be honest, and because I don't have or let anything stop me as I continue to tire myself physically and psychologically, I end up in this loop of knowing that I should slow down and not being able to slow down without feeling guilty. I feel like every day I'm trying to fill a glass of water that's overflowing, and because I think it's all because I can't be good enough, I try to fill the glass even more. Honestly, I don't know what came over me to want to share this with you, I even apologize for that, but I think it came because deep down I think I might end up reaching the same level as the reader, and for the first time I worried about this habit that I have. Above all I must say that I really liked the story, really a lot and know that I can't wait to get to the next ones, and thank you for real.

First off all, as soon as you read this or even before you do so, go to sleep. Lilia says it and I'm saying it, you need rest dear. Second of all, don't apologise for needing to vent, everyone needs to say the things that they keep deep in their chests and I'm honoured to have read your words. I understand you perfectly, I know how it feels to not be able to stop due to guilt, to push through when you are about to collapse but know that stopping, sitting down and simply breathing won't make the world fall apart. It will keep on spinning, yes, but you can make life wait for a moment, as much time as you need. This society has taught us to never stop working or studying and that is just wrong. Dear, leave the glass on the counter and let it rot, you need to rest so that you can give it your best the next day and if people don't let you, walk away. It's hard, I know, but like Lilia said you need to say no and take a step back. I'm also really glad that you liked the story and I hope that it's brought you so level of comfort and grounding and if you ever need to talk, know that even though I don't know you, I'm here, Lilia’s here, always.

Now go to sleep or I'll find your address and tuck you in myself! 😉😊

[justjesse116]

Can I pester you for your thoughts on Dabi and Hawks' respective canon endings (if you haven't posted em somewhere already and I've just missed it)

Oh yeah, I did say I'd touch on that and sure never did huh. I got so fed up that I just ignored the ending and didn't feel like acknowledging it with a post anymore.

But I do have an answer for you. It's gonna be a long one, buckle up buttercup.

As for Dabi's 'end'.

Ah yes, fantastic message Horikoshi, if you're not a perfect victim and don't shrink away and make yourself small and hide away from your abuse/abuser - if you get mad and lash out then you should just fucking die. Your ABUSER gets a second chance, but you can just go fuck yourself.

(For a better understanding on how I feel about Dabi's story as a whole I got, what, 2 sentences in and had to pause because I'm sick as hell right now and a little fucked up on cold medicine, and I got so mad my hands started shaking and my heart tried to do it's best impression of a wildebeest stampede in my chest. (Emotional regulation who?))

Dabi is my ride or die, because I came from a home where my sperm donor terrorized me my whole life for the crime of being alive and having the gall to take after my mother. I have an unfortunately personal understanding of how he feels, at least in part, and his end in the story is what bothers me most, and will continue to do so.

Did he go about it the best way? No, I'm not a fan of the murder (arson I couldn't give 2 fucks about, destroy that government property babey) but I can't blame him for turning out the way he did. He went through literal hell and came out the other side torn apart physically and mentally. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't fantasize about killing my sperm donor for all the ways he fucked me up every once in a while, so I can't blame him for that either. I think it's a natural reaction to want to eliminate a perceived threat, especially one as traumatizing as one of the people who are supposed to be guaranteed to love you turning on you the way Endeavor did.

But anyway, I'm rambling at this point so in a nutshell; FUCK Horikoshi and his wishy washy writing and bitchass cop out. The end to Dabi's story is insulting at best and harmful at worst. It's very obvious that he was over My Hero, since he bulldozed over anything that would resemble a satisfying ending in regards to multiple parts of the story, but his handling of Dabi as a character is the most egregious in my opinion. I have well and truly had enough of this man (derogatory).

So now I shall move on to the man, the myth, the legend, the love of my life - you get it. Hawks. And if I'm being honest I'm not very keen on his ending either.

First of all, what ever happened to giving heroes more time to kill?

Ahem. Excuse me, getting a little heated.

Fucking give me that man, he needs to be sat down in a plush fucking armchair, with a mug of actual coffee, not that canned shit, bundled in the softest blanket money can buy, just relaxing and reading or watching a show. LET THAT MAN REST. HIS ASS HAS NO BUSINESS BEING THE PRESIDENT OF AN ORGANIZATION THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABOLISHED AT THE END. THAT'S WHAT IT FELT LIKE HORIKOSHI WAS HINTING TOWARDS THE WHOLE TIME. GET RID OF THE HERO SYSTEM. BUT NOOOOO.

To be a little more coherent (hopefully) about it. It's not to say I don't think he could do it, I just think it was one fuck of a leap. That was some Olympic level stretching, at least in my opinion. I just think that man deserves to rest. He belongs in a quiet little house in the countryside and he has a part time job at like, a local farm or something and in his spare time he volunteers all over town and preferably Dabi is there as well 🙄. Give him peace and quiet, let him rest.

I honestly don't know what would have satisfied me canon wise for his ending, but HPSC president just ain't it. Again, I feel like it was Horikoshi catching the cooties for his own work; he just wanted to be done with it so he slapped together what he thought was the most likely of scenarios and just left it at that. In a word; disappointing.

I see a lot of people saying he should have died, because out of everyone of the heroes his death would have made the most sense and had the most meaning or whatever, and I can agree with that, but I'm still glad he's not dead. It absolutely is fucked up how disproportionate the deaths were when it comes to heroes vs villains, no one can deny that. But dammit I need a win, I need a fave who ain't dead.

I think that about wraps up my thoughts without me writing a god damn dissertation. Thanks for the ask, it was a nice distraction.

[msexcelfractal]

I don't think it's ever the same thought. Their thought is a physical pattern in their head, and your head is arranged differently from theirs. Your brain contains a physical network of associations between ideas, and since we know that this web is built from experience and not innate, no two persons' webs will be arranged the same.

"We need to go grocery shopping." The parallels between their thought and yours are strong enough to coordinate useful action, in this case a trip to the store. But what does grocery shopping mean to you? The level of similarity from their thought to yours depends on the answer to that question: the answer is the sum of all your experiences visiting, talking about, and reading about grocery stores.

When you get close to someone and amass a great many experiences together, the parallels between your minds grow stronger than what language alone can create. that's one of my favorite things about love :)

one of my favorite things about language is the way that if someone is having a thought they can send you a string of words which represents that thought (through a systematic network of correspondences) which will then cause you to have the same thought

[serpentface]

SPIRITUAL POLLUTION, THE GESTURES AGAINST EVIL, AND ABLUTION: A POST

The concepts of spiritual purity and pollution are central to the Faith of the Seven Faced God (and similar takes on the concept predate it throughout and beyond the immediate Wardi cultural sphere). There is no clean cut distinction between physical and spiritual health in this belief system (these concepts exist as a heavily overlapping venn diagram) and many methods intended to cleanse spiritual pollution address both realms.

The word for the concept referred to as spiritual pollution is 'mesechitse', which can translate to 'blockage' or 'severance' depending on the context (its underlying meaning is a pathway that has been stopped in some capacity).

At its core, spiritual pollution is a corruption of the living spirit (which is carried by/IS the blood). It causes both physical and spiritual problems. Polluted blood flows improperly and does not maintain the body’s natural stasis or integrity, causing or allowing disease or other bodily dysfunctions to occur. Many ailments are seen as wholly physical and internal in nature, occurring directly due to polluted blood flowing improperly and affecting key organs. Other diseases (particularly contagious or infectious disease) are known to be caused by dagi, which are harmful spirits that enter the body through orifices or wounds. A limited number of ailments (most notably pronounced schizophrenia-spectrum disorders or cognitive disabilities, unfortunately) are thought to be caused by possession by more powerful evil spirits.

At its worst, severe spiritual pollution is thought to impact or sever one's connection to God. Summarized very basically, severe pollution = blockage of flow between one's own living spirit and the greater spirit of God, which deprives a person of God's blessings and protection, severs them from the natural cycling of life and death (and prevents their necessary participation) and can put their afterlife in jeopardy.

Some degree of corruption to the living spirit is seen as completely inevitable and managed by the body, which physically expels some polluting agents via urine and feces, as well as menstruation (thus all of these substances are themselves dirty and polluting agents). It is reckoned as impossible for any living body to exist in a Completely spiritually pure state. The goal of cleansing (and broader practices revolving around spiritual integrity) is rather to maintain stasis of the body's natural cycling (and by extension a connection to God's living spirit) and to keep pollution contained and minimized.

If one's immortal soul successfully reaches the afterlife, it is then reborn into a spiritually pure existence incapable of being 'severed' from God in any capacity. God Itself is a spiritually pure being, but Its body and living spirit (the world and its cycles, manifested as Faces) is vulnerable. The purity of God's living spirit (and therefore the life-sustaining functions of the world that all beings depend upon) must be sustained, protected, and restored through right practice, which is what much what the public religion revolves around.

Spiritual pollution is a separate but overlapping concept with:

-Metaphysical vulnerability, the word for which is 'namne couyibase' (literally ‘lacking integrity of Being’). This is a state in which the body and living spirit is considered vulnerable to great change, for good or for bad. These states can have vital and positive uses (they are utilized in many rituals, and it is what allows for conception and birth), but must be entered with caution and intentionality. Uncontrolled namne couyibase can otherwise leave one open to forms of spiritual harm. -Curses, which are targeted infliction of harm (of all sorts- bad luck, evil spirits, etc) onto a person, place, or thing. A spiritually polluted body is has less resistance to curses, and curses can intensify this pollution. -Possession, which is when evil spirits attach themselves to or inhabit the body. In the vast majority of cases, possession does not mean an evil spirit is Controlling the body, merely harming it. A spiritually polluted body has less resistance to possession, and possession can intensify this pollution. -Ritual uncleanliness, which is a state of intensified spiritual pollution that requires complete prohibition from a person from entering sacred spaces or participating in certain rituals until they are made clean. The most common reasons for ritual uncleanliness are active menstruation, being in the mourning period, or having performed a known dirtying action without its required ablution (see below).

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Multiple levels of religious-medical practice are centered around maintaining the body's stasis and cleansing it of mesechitse whenever possible. The methods are both active and passive.

Passive methods include the wearing of protective objects/amulets or having the motifs on household items or as decoration (the most ubiquitous are charms like the pelatoche (lit: '(ocean) eye') or odatochent (lit. 'Gods eyes'), the skimmer woman, or phalluses, and the wearing of gull feathers), in addition to other beneficial/protective iconography (guardian lions are most common, though physical representations of each Face of God have beneficial functions).

Active methods cover a broad swath of rites and behaviors (which is even broader in non-doctrinal folk practices). I'll be focusing here on the two main everyday methods of protection/cleansing (rather than more specialized rites) that are supported by core doctrine and may be performed by anyone, rather than being restricted to priests.

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Gestures against evil

These are the absolute most basic protection methods, comprised of three core gestures.

Purity of intent: the hand is held with the palm facing upward, the pointer and pinky finger extended and the thumb and inner two fingers pressed together. This is the most directly ‘cleansing’ gesture, it attempts to bind uncleanliness within the body and thus to prevent inevitable background level spiritual pollution from the body infecting a pure environment or another person. You mostly perform this gesture while entering/leaving a protected or vulnerable space (literal or figurative).

Protection of spirit: the hand is held with the first two fingers pointed together, held upwards for generalized use or pointed for directed use. This is the simplest of apotropaic gestures, aiming to protect the body and spirit from outside harm. This is commonly used before or while entering contexts seen as physically and/or spiritually dangerous, or to un-aggressively counter an evil eye curse.

Dispelling of evil: The hand is held with the first two fingers pointing together, touched to the lips, and flicked away from the body. In practice, this is most commonly used to prevent attachment by malicious or otherwise harmful spirits that may have been evoked (you might perform this after you speak of someone believed to be an earthbound ghost or refer to an evil spirit directly, or immediately after touching a potentially contagious sick person (ideally followed by ablution)). This will not help you if evil spirits have fully Attached themselves to you, but can remove ones that have been attracted to you. Doing this gesture and flicking in the direction of another person is very rude.

These gestures have separate uses, but will often be performed in conjunction (usually in the order given) as a quick means of protecting oneself and the spaces around them. It is not considered a doctrinal replacement for ablution as it does not actually cleanse the spirit, but it attempts to reduce harm (both sustained and produced by the user).

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Ablutions:

Ablution is spiritually and physically cleansing the body with clean water. The metric for clean water is fairly expansive- ocean water, any flowing water, any clear lake, shallow water sources that are clear and free of (obvious) polluting elements such as animal corpses or unclean animal feces, any clear collected water.

The core requirement of an ablution is for the hands to be cleaned in all circumstances, and for other body parts to be cleansed in addition if the situation requires it. One must fully wet the hands/other affected areas and scrub thoroughly, and then use fresh water to rinse. If you have to clean other parts of your body, you save your hands for last (as they will be used for the cleaning).

It is appropriate to perform ablutions cooperatively, but the person assisting you should participate as well (ie- if you have someone washing your back, they should scrub and rinse their own hands after). Someone considered to be in a ritually unclean state that ablution will not immediately fix (the most common are actively menstruating or being in the midst of the mourning period) should not perform ablutions on others.

Note that there is no Hard distinction between bathing for spiritual cleanliness and bathing for physical cleanliness (there is a separate set of cultural standards for physical hygiene, but most hygiene expectations are Covered by ablution). In most circumstances, ablution is just a regular, sometimes tedious everyday activity rather than a solemn or special occasion.

The ritualized requirements denote that only the hands + any given affected body parts Must be washed, but ablutions will often be an aspect of a full-body bathing routine to meet other hygiene standards. (ie: someone performing ablution before making offerings or eating a meal is only Required to wash their hands, but will very often wash their whole bodies and clean their hair- offerings and a meal are (typically) daily activities, so this is a good time to just get a full bath in while you’re at it). It may additionally involve washing the skin with oil or soap, moisturizing the hair with oil, scraping away dead skin, and applying perfumes. This is not a ritual requirement and is performed because generally, people like to feel clean and smell nice.

The hard physicality of cleansing WITH WATER is KEY to this practice. Per core doctrine, there are no DIY cleansing methods that replace washing with water. If one does not have access to clean water for ablutions, they should not perform offerings whatsoever (but are allowed to pray) until they can be cleansed, and accept that they are receiving spiritual pollution by performing ablution-required tasks in the meantime. A blessing from a priest is the only doctrine-supported spiritually cleansing replacement for water ablutions. In practice many people will use the gestures against evil as a replacement (which is not supported by doctrine and is more common in folk religious practice), and virtually everyone will find ways to get physical contaminants off of their body either way (if you step in dog shit and don't have any water nearby, you're going to wipe it the hell off even if that doesn't make you ritually clean).

Times when such an ablution is generally considered a hard requirement:

Before bloodletting in prayer or making other offerings

Before meals

Before assisting in a birth

After menstruation ends

After receiving penetrative sex

After defecating

After urinating (this isn't as ubiquitously seen as a hard requirement, in a lot of cases people interpret it as 'only if you actually get pee on your hands')

After touching urine

After touching feces (many lines of thought make exceptions for the excrement of cattle and khait due to their clean and sacred status- this makes life a easier for the majority of people who have to use dry dung as fuel)

After touching a dead body (human or animal)

At the end of your mourning period for dead kin (traditionally as part of a larger ritual involving full body submergence in flowing water, rather than as a common ablution)

After touching someone else's blood (aside from rites that require it, in which the blood is expected to be clean and the cross-pollution of living spirit is intentional) (technically includes semen but this does not come up very often)

After touching most sick people (particularly with contagious diseases or any skin ailments)

After recovering from an illness (ablutions will be performed as an aspect of treatment as well)

Before entering most temple's inner shrines (and some temples altogether)

Also a requirement for participation in certain specific rites and/or festivals

The exact nuances on how hard these requirements are sometimes vary, particularly in instances revolving around touch. Official doctrine is that any unclean touch requires ablution, but in common practice this is sometimes reinterpreted as only a hard requirement when the touch occurs to the hands. Most practitioners do not perform an ablution immediately after an unclean touch occurs (if you're a field laborer and step in dung, you're probably going to wait to wash until you retire for the night), and not everyone performs ablutions every single time they 'should'.

Only drawing I have related to ablution under the cut (nudity)

This is one way to do it

[agnesandhilda]

I am a strong supporter of the "kaiser fixates on his mother as an actress/on other troubled female celebrities" concept on the basis of him having mommy issues as well of him being flamboyantly queer and drawn to femininity