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#thinking thinking about my youth#i used to roleplay and make stories with OCs w/ my friends#i really miss that sometimes#but I don't think I can do it anymore#same as dnd stuff#it seems fun but i cannot get in the vibe of roleplaying#mind is so wack fjskdj#anyways#ciervo rambles#zzzzzzz#back to work
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Born to shoujo forced to shounen
#GEGE WHEN I CATCH YOU GEGE#jjk#jjk spoilers#itadori yuji#besties i don't think I can do this anymore...#girl huh#jujutsu kaisen
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Squished🙂↕️
#ghostsoap#ghost x soap#call of duty#ghoap#call of duty mwii#this one is so old#i missed this style actually#don't think i can do it anymore...#but yeah i need to squeeze them#my art
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part one here. ze part two to touch-starved stevie that absolutely no one requested hehe <3 but i gots to let my boys have a wee kiss :")
So, hugs with Eddie become… well, a thing.
Not a thing. They’re not a thing, Steve and Eddie. It’s totally the same as when he gets hugs from Robin. Eddie’s doing him a favour as a friend. It’s got the 100% platonic energy of getting a hug from a friend — a hug that usually melts into some form of a cuddle, limbs all tangled together until they can’t tell whose are whose.
Except, Steve doesn’t really do that second part with Robin. Like he hasn’t done it ever with Robin.
So, it’s an Eddie thing.
But they’re not a thing. Not matter how much Steve would actually very much like for that happen. Okay, maybe Steve’s overthinking the whole thing a bit, but he just can’t tell.
Where’s the line? It’s infuriating not being able to discern between platonic and more, just because Steve wasn’t held enough as a fucking baby. Out of all the things he resents his parents for, Steve’s surprised that this is so near the top.
Because, sure, Steve’s had more than his fair share of hookups. He knows that sort of touch. He knows the shape of lust; the scrapes of fingernails down backs, the tight grips over skin, the push and pull of the heat of the moment.
And this thing with Eddie… is not that.
So, really, Steve knows that it’s all friendly. Eddie is just being nice. He’s being a decent dude and helping his friend out — by catapulting himself into Steve’s arms at every opportune moment.
(Steve’s only dropped 3 mugs of coffee because of this so far. It’s only because Eddie says good catch, big boy with a devilish grin every time that Steve manages to catch Eddie that Steve hasn’t completely told him to knock it off. Just yet, at least.)
And he’s different in other areas. He’ll always seem to choose the seat next to Steve on movie-nights now, content to snuggle right up to him. They get thigh to thigh, arm to arm — and Eddie only needs to get about 20 minutes in for him to do a big sigh, like an old dog, and slump over, resting his head on Steve’s shoulder.
Steve notices though. He always notices.
It’s impossible not to— the skin, even if there’s 3 layers between them, burns blazing warm. Eddie’s hair drapes over his arm, a curl inevitably tickling along Steve’s collar. He can feel the rise and fall of Eddie’s breathing, the little shake of when he laughs.
It drives Steve a little insane— insane in the way that makes him think about burying his fingers in those curls again, about pressing his lips against Eddie’s pretty mouth just to feel the smile against his skin, about digging into his chest so he can climb into his chest and live there.
Yeah, it’s— well, it’s safe to say that the effect of Eddie’s touchiness has sent what was once a fleeting thought of a crush into mind-melting levels of affection.
But he can’t fucking tell.
-
To Steve’s credit, neither can Eddie.
Which is not surprisingly considering sometimes he catches himself wondering how the hell he ended up here; in a close-knit friendship with band-geek Robin Buckley, princess Nancy Wheeler, and King Steve Harrington.
Okay, the Robin one sort of makes sense. He thinks that if no matter when their paths crossed, he and Robin would’ve always even some sort of strange friends - her snark complimenting his bitchiness. Also, the whole super queer thing helps too. Even the friendship with Nancy works, in its own weird way.
Steve though? He’s the fucking curve ball.
It works though, the two of them. Surprisingly well, actually — the two of them get on like a house on fire, bitchy quips back and forth. Even better, is the quiet that they can share. Steve loves to come around and do… nothing. Do nothing with Eddie, though.
So, even though Eddie had noticed the tension in Steve with touch, little moments where he turned rigid when Eddie’s usual wandering hands got too comfortable — Eddie chalked it up to the usual. Guys bring too uncomfortable with him, too weird about another guy being touchy. It didn’t matter than Eddie wasn’t even out to Steve yet, he was still might be that type of guy.
Well, Eddie had certainly thought so. Sure, Steve might not be one of those jocks who smacked around boys who looked too long in the locker room, but if he knew a smidge of the truth, who really knows. It would explain the tenseness at least.
But then— ‘Can I… have a hug?’ There had been a dozen things Eddie was thinking that Steve could’ve asked for but that? Wasn’t even in the ballpark. It was so left-field it left Eddie speechless for a whole moment. And Steve had been staring at the ceiling, his hands curled up tight again like- like he thought Eddie might say no.
A ridiculous thought, honestly. Anyone who knew Eddie well enough knew he was touchy; loved giving it, loved getting it. Like an overly affectionate cat, Wayne had once called him, just 11 years old, because Eddie’s need for affection seem to never be sated.
After that night, Steve’s lack of touch became far more obvious. It’s always hair ruffles or high-fives, yet never hugs. Normally, Eddie would keep to that boundary; some people are less touchy other than others, he knows that.
But… “Sometimes I realise it’s been awhile, since I’ve had some touch.” That’s what Steve had said, his words. Eddie doesn’t even think he meant to say something so heartbreaking. In fact, the guy seemed embarrassed.
It had thrown Eddie for a loop— because Steve gets around. He’s nearly notorious for one-night stands and failed flings, as Robin loves to drone on about considering she’s subjected to all the flirting. What had originally been a point of envy for Eddie, just saturates the bleakness of Steve’s words. Sex but without a moment of intimacy.
So, while Eddie is miles away from being the person who gets into Steve’s pants — not for lack of want, mind you — he does try hike up the touchiness. Little things. Lingering when he taps him on the arm, hooking his chin over Steve’s shoulder to peer over it, leaning up against him when they’re side by side watching a film.
It’s good. It helps Eddie release the pressure of his stupid monumental god-awful crush he has. Yeah, yeah, it’s laughable, even to Eddie. It’s like Gay 101; don’t get crush on straight dudes, especially the ones you’re friends with. And yet…
Steve lets him. He lets Eddie give him touch, more than he lets anyone else. He still tenses; there’s still always a moment before he can remember to relax, like he’s trying to shake off bad thoughts but then he melts. He always melts into Eddie’s touch eventually — in a way Eddie knows Steve actually loves it, drinks it up as much as he can.
And maybe, Eddie is the biggest fool to grace the Earth to let that fact give him some hope. Sue his gooey heart, he’s a romantic. It’s a quiet hope but, it’s there.
Tonight, it seems relaxing for Steve is been harder than usual— several times has Eddie traced a quite long along Steve’s arms, a subtle point that they were far too tense for someone who was wrapped up in cuddles on the couch. ‘Cos that’s 100% what they are now. Eddie will still call them hugs, but usually, when it’s just the two of them, it becomes this.
Steve, tucked up into the corner of the couch, one leg flush along the back of the couch and one hanging off the edge. It’s the prime position for Eddie to crawl up, wind his arms around Steve’s middle and give him a good squeeze and then settle there. Head on Steve’s chest, lying in the cradle of his hips. Safe. Warm.
It makes him warm, oh very warm to know that he gets this. That Steve doesn’t give this amount of trust to many, if any, other people but Eddie — he trusts Eddie.
“Y’know,” Eddie says, cheeks smushed against the plain of Steve’s pec. It feels deliciously warm and Eddie’s fairly sure he can feel how toned it is just through his cheek. Hot bastard. “I’m actually real glad you asked for that hug all those weeks ago.”
He leaves it there ‘cos he knows Steve will ask. Eddie’s eyes stay on the buzzing tv-screen even as Steve’s head shifts, turning to peer down at the boy slumped on his chest. Eddie’s pretty sure he can see Steve’s mouth twitch up into a smile.
“Yeah?”
“Oh yeah,” Eddie affirms, giving a nod and his eyes flick up to meet Steve’s for just a moment. “Think I’ve had some of the best hugs in the world.”
Okay, that was maybe more honest and sappy than Eddie was going for. He is just letting Steve know he isn’t just doing it for Steve — that he enjoys these moments just as much. He lays it on thick, tries for a smarmy angle.
“Swept up in these pillowy arms?” He croons, giving Steve’s bicep a quick squeeze, making the other chuckle softly. “Who wouldn’t think so? I’m a lucky guy.”
Despite the joking tone, there’s no quick comeback from Steve. That’s alright. Eddie’s quite happy if this is one of the times Steve just takes the compliment; let’s the word sink in and hopefully, believes them, even if it’s just a little bit. He watches the film and doesn’t read into the silence.
Not even when Steve says, “Eddie?” all soft. Nearly shy sounding. It doesn’t quite register to Eddie’s ears.
“Mm?”
“Eddie.” Steve says again, a little firmer and that catches Eddie’s attention. He turns his head and rests his chin on Steve’s chest, his brows drawn together in silent question.
But the moment he makes eye contact, Steve’s doing that scrunched up face again. Is studying the ceiling instead of facing Eddie. And just like all those weeks ago, his hands clench up tight. Twists up the fabric of Eddie’s sweater in between his fingers and uses it to ground himself.
Last time, he asked for a hug. Considering he’s currently just about squishing Steve beneath his body weight, Eddie can’t fathom what he might be worked up to ask for. Unless he was going to ask for something more than a hug— which, well, just wasn’t going to happen, even if Eddie really wanted it to.
“Can I-” Steve starts. He sucks in a breath, almost like he’s gathering courage. But he’s not, because he’s not about to ask for what Eddie hopes for, he’s not, he’s—
Unless…?
“Can I… have a kiss?” Steve asks, barely audible. The sentence is murmured, soft words that hit Eddie like a gentle kiss in itself — imprinting right onto his heart. Steve Harrington wants a kiss — from him!
“Oh.” Eddie says, in a breathy delightful way. He’s fairly certain the little monkey in his brain is clapping its cymbals at double-speed as the words process; or maybe it’s his heart, which feels like it’s leapt up his throat.
“Oh?” Steve echoes, a smile already playing at the edges of his mouth, because he can see Eddie’s want. Because he knows him.
“Yes.” Eddie says suddenly, with a frantic nod, pushing up closer so their faces are aligned. “Yes, absolutely, you can.” He affirms.
Steve huffs a quiet laugh at the eagerness and then his arm that had been slung around Eddie shifts. It moves up til his hand caresses along the line of Eddie’s jaw, tilting him just how he likes.
Eddie holds his breath. Counts the freckles he can see this close. Tries to feel Steve’s heartbeat through where they’re pressed so closely together; can Steve feel his? Thundering and hurried, beating so hard Eddie thinks he might bruise the inside of his ribs.
Then Steve kisses him. And shit, Steve’s lip are better by ten-fold than every daydream Eddie’s ever had about them. They’re warm and so soft — plush and pressing against his own and Eddie is freezing. Fuck, wait, how does this go again? Right, Eddie’s never… well, kissed anybody before.
Steve pulls back and Eddie screws his eyes up — not ready in the slightest for the disappointment of his own shoddy kissing skills. Fuck, did he really just freeze? Steve — Steve Harrington — asks for a kiss and Eddie decides to stab himself in the back by not figuring out how to fuck to kiss back.
“You call that a kiss?” Steve teases and Eddie’s well aware of the parallel — of the irony of Steve repeating his own words back at him. But he can’t make himself laugh even though it’s funny. Instead, a little groan wiggles out his throat.
“I’m sorry,” Eddie says, earnest. He forces his eyes opens — he needs to see what’s Steve’s thinking. Where he’s expecting disappointment or perhaps regret, is only patience. Maybe a touch of concern. Eddie continues, despite the humiliation that makes his throat sticky.
“I haven’t- I don’t do this often.” He coughs awkwardly clearing his throat and hoping it hides the next word. “Ever.”
There’s a jump in Steve’s eyebrows, a moment of surprise in his eyes that lets him know he did, indeed, hear that final word. It makes Eddie feel… well, it’s nice that Steve had expected him to have been kissed by now. Even if he hasn’t. He tries to take it as a compliment.
“That’s okay,” Steve assures. Absentmindedly, his thumb rubs soothing along Eddie’s jaw. It makes Eddie shiver, some outrageous amount of joy clawing into every nerve. Steve likes Eddie. He wants to kiss Eddie.
“Do you want to try again?”
Eddie nods before the questions even out of his mouth. Steve smiles, all sunshine. This time when he draws Eddie in, he notices the way Eddie holds his breath — the rigidness in his body.
Steve kisses him again, another short and soft one and then whispers against his lips, “Relax.”
‘Cos isn’t tonight just full of the parallels, Eddie thinks. He listens, tries to focus on how sweet Steve’s kiss is than his panicky heart, forcing out a breath between the kisses. His hands along Steve’s sides find a grip, grounding and good, and by the fourth kiss, he begins to feel a bit melty.
It’s good. It’s really good. Kissing Steve is top 5– nay, the top moment of his life so far. Somehow, it’s made all that much better knowing the build-up behind it. Knowing that Steve knows he isn’t just kissing him for a heat of the moment — that Eddie wants kisses here, kisses before bed, in the morning, on dates. Eddie wants Steve.
And with the way he kisses, Eddie’s pretty sure Steve wants him just as bad.
It doesn’t take long for Steve to reach what Eddie decides is an ultra pretty fuckin’ state; lips swollen from kisses, cheeks flushed, hair a little mussed up. He bets he looks no better. The thought makes him grin, enough they have to break the kiss ‘cos Eddie can’t stop his stupid happy grin ‘cos shit— he actually gets to have this Steve.
“What?” Steve asks, somehow half heart-eyed and half suspicious at the mischief in Eddie’s eyes.
“Can I... have a hickie?”
now with a part three !
#at this point call this the 'can i' series#sweet boys asking each other for things they most certainly would be given <3#but don't think they will <3#tried to flip it and make it so even tho eddie is used to touch. the romantic touch? he's got none! that's where he's touch-starved#ALSO EVERYONE'S TAGS WERE SO NICE ON THE LAST ONE#trust i am. not feelin so bad nowadays (me saying this like 4 days later lmao)#but <3 thank u all#gay ppl in my phone.... you know what to do#ruby writes steddie#steve x eddie#steddie#steddie fic#steddie ficlet#touch-starved steve harrington#not rlly anymore hehe#does anyone notice that it ends with yet another 'can i?" question? HEHE#yet again stib gets kisses where ruby doesn't but alas <3 dis is way fluffier this time#nearly went the angst route! and went hmmmm naur#ok ok i'll be quiet now
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Prompt 115
“Seriously old man?” the rumbling voice nearly caused Tim to jump, his eyes darting away from where Ras was sitting, the Al Ghul almost seeming to perk. It was kind of hard to miss the man… teen… being? It was kind of hard to miss the owner of the voice what with how their hair looked like it was on fire.
They motioned around at well, everything, crimson eyes looking exasperated. “Really?” They were definitely motioning towards him, interrupting Ras when he opened his mouth to talk. “No, I don’t want to hear it, I swear- Did he kidnap you?” That was definitely aimed at him.
“N-no?” Tim was feeling slightly unbalanced and may be on hour sixty without sleep at this point, if the hour long nap was counted. “I need help finding my not-dad who's lost in time.”
The being let out a strangled noise that Tim could nearly swear was almost another one, but couldn’t vocalize his slurred thoughts as the dude muttered something, motioning around as though he was tempted to strangle something or someone.
Ras cleared his throat, looking almost awkward which was how Tim knew he had to be dreaming or drugged. Probably drugged. “Jordan, how good to see you, it’s been so long-”
“Can it Pops,” the being-named-Jordan scoffed, finger pointing towards the Demon’s Head. “Moms still pissed and isn’t coming back any time soon with you still pulling this shit.”
Tim felt his brain stall, process for a moment, then process some more over what he just heard before his mouth ran before it could catch up. “Ras is married???”
#dcxdp#dpxdc#league of assassins#Are Danny and Ras married? Who knows#They did raise their kids together#Well technically Dan & Ellie got de-aged but still#They met during time shenanigans for Danny#Trained together for a bit and became a tiny bit of rivals#Ras missing his platonic or romantic partner: If I adopt-steal these teens/children I can pspspspsps them back#Jordan looking down at Talia: Hello demon child#Talia: Brother Damian isn't talking to me anymore and I don't know what to do T-T#Ellie: Would he like more siblings?? That made us feel better???#Talia: Of course I can make clones to send to him he shall surely call me back then!#Dusan: Sister I don't think that is what they were saying-#Talia: I have things to do out of my way Ghost!#Tim is so tired and has no clue what's going on#Jordan: Whelp I'm going to help you out because I'm always one to take Mom's side against pops#Tim: What#Jordan: Let's go bother the primordial being of Time he happens to find us amusing anyway#Tim: W h a t#deadly decisions
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the rise of AI art isn't surprising to us. for our entire lives, the attitude towards our skills has always been - that's not a real thing. it has been consistently, repeatedly devalued.
people treat art - all forms of it - as if it could exist by accident, by rote. they don't understand how much art is in the world. someone designed your home. someone designed the sign inside of your local grocery store. when you quote a character or line from something in media, that's a line a real person wrote.
"i could do that." sure, but you didn't. there's this joke where a plumber comes over to a house and twists a single knob. charges the guy 10k. the guy, furious, asks how the hell the bill is so high. the plumber says - "turning the knob was a dollar. the knowledge is the rest of the money."
the trouble is that nobody believes artists have knowledge. that we actively study. that we work hard, beyond doing our scales and occasionally writing a poem. the trouble is that unless you are already framed in a museum or have a book on a shelf or some kind of product, you aren't really an artist. hell, because of where i post my work, i'll never be considered a poet.
the thing that makes you an artist is choice. the thing that makes all art is choice. AI art is the fetid belief that art is instead an equation. that it must answer a specific question. Even with machine learning, AI cannot make a choice the way we can - because the choices we make have always been personal, complicated. our skills cannot be confined to "prompt and execution." what we are "solving" isn't just a system of numbers - it is how we process our entire existence. it isn't just "2 and 2 is 4", it's staring hard at the numbers and making the four into an alligator. it's rearranging the letters to say ow and it is the ugly drawing we make in the margin.
at some point, you will be able to write something by feeding my work into a machine. it will be perfectly legible and even might sound like me. but a machine doesn't understand why i do these things. it can be taught preferences, habits, statistical probability. it doesn't know why certain vowels sound good to me. it doesn't know the private rules i keep. it doesn't know how to keep evolving.
"but i want something to exist that doesn't exist yet." great. i'm glad you feel creative. go ahead and pay a fucking artist for it.
this is all saying something we all already knew. the sad fucking truth: we have to die to remind you. only when we're gone do we suddenly finally fucking mean something to you. artists are not replicable. we each genuinely have a skill, talent, and process that makes us unique. and there's actual quiet power in everything we do.
#also pay plumbers more. and electricians. and other devalued occupations#idk that this makes sense#but im like#people being so fucking pleased with themselves about the fact they can ''fake'' art#n im like#sure#but what if we stop making things for you huh#what if we stop giving u this stuff anymore#what happens to ur ai art? does it keep growing? does it keep making choices?#why do u need to see us as machines?#''i want X to exist but i don't have the skill to do it''#okay spend literally years of your life studying#''i don't want to do that''#okay pay someone who DID do that#''no i don't think it's a real skill''#okay so. YOU can't do it. and a LOT of people can't do it. but you think WE should be able to?#FOR FREE?#either it has value or it dont baby make up ur OWN mind#btw studying here is not used academically. i think if ur like. constantly knitting.#thats studying#do u spend hours reading and find urself taking notes and learning about writing#ur studying#do you follow other artists and spend a lot of your time trying new things (even unsuccessfully)#that's also studying#etc#was weird to write this thing about choices and then be like. wait why DO i like that
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I actually had to stop and take a moment because. Holy shit where do I even start here
Elita's so desperate to keep Optimus on Cybertron that she'll actively sabotage his way of escape (not just his way either, Cliff is still badly wounded and he's now cut off as well). The war has been HELL on her and the planet, we've seen this every time we've seen her on Cybertron. Everyone she's ever loved is either in a constant state of survival, tortured, missing, or dead. She has gone through hell and back to keep it all together, and finally she's found Optimus again, someone who can lead them all, who knows what to do, who can help her keep it together.
But from her view, he doesn’t want to stay. He doesn't want to stay and defend his home, he wants to go back, he wants to leave. Leave behind everything they've worked for, making all of Elita's sacrifice pointless, making the deaths of all their loved ones meaningless. And not just that, but they can use what Shockwave built to save them. It's cruel and disgusts her, but sacrifices have to be made for their survival, even if it means harming another planet. But they have to use it, it has to mean something, because if not, then what was any of this for?
And Optimus, on the other end, is in pain over this choice. No leader wants to make a choice like this, but Optimus has seen what damage his people have done. The damage that his war has brought to them, how they've been killed and wounded at the hands of ones who still remain on Earth. Earth's destruction can't be at their hands, they can't force their losses onto people who never asked to be a part of this, who never had a chance at stopping the decepticons on their own. They can't kill another planet in the name of saving their own. The cycle can't continue.
Even while Elita is holding onto Optimus, screaming about how much she needs him, his other hand is spasming, the weight of what he's doing and what will come from this action very clear, but still painful. And in the end, he choses to protect Earth.
#there's even something that could be said about how Optimus could also think the war on cybertron is outright lost#that there's nothing they can do for it anymore#I FUCKING LOVE THIS COMIC THIS IS SO BRUTAL BUT I GET WHAT THEY'RE THINKING HERE#they don't deserve this aaaaa#transformers#transformers skybound#transformers 2023#transformers spoilers#optimus prime#elita one#my post
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Being a doctor must be hard maaaaaaan, the patientsssss.
Also apparently nicotine can kill horses really easily, which is wild so you know I gotta project that onto Mango lmao, this man will have one (1) cigarette and then immediately have to go to the hospital, good thing he works there at least.
#mango art#smg4oc: mango#no I don't smoke. and neither does Mango. he used to before becoming part horse but he can't anymore lol#I love drawing him sad/melancholy okay. he's been THROUGH it#him being in the SMG4 universe is probably the happiest he's ever been in a long time like!!! DUDE!!! YOU'RE STILL SAD!!!#mr puzzles is there because he's the only other character i can think of that smokes and he wouldn't do it alone
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#poliwhirl#i feel like i need a new angle type for this. looming??#we'll call it a#muncher#for now. anyway this motherfucker i remember for being in the one episode of anipoké that i caught like Half a glimpse of#where i think ash learned about evolution stones and he was trynna make pikachu evolve or some shit. and they used this guy#as an example for a water stone. and i swear that's where i got the idea in my head that#1. you can use the stones on any pokémon you want as long as it matches their type (false‚ made up)#2. the pokémon do not Like it when you use the stones on them to make them evolve sooner than they should (probably spurred by#pikachu obviously not wanting to evolve and my brain thought that applied to every pokémon ever)#obviously i don't believe these things anymore. i know how evolution stones work. but i believed them when i was a kid#and was very confused when i couldn't evolve prinplup using a water stone
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companionship and understanding happy pride from my beloveds!!
open for better quality | no reposts
#kaveh#alhaitham#kavetham#genshin impact#fanart#myart#doodle#at first i was like 'i hope yall don't get tired of me posting so often' and then i remembered this other artist whose art i enjoy-#and they post often too but i love having so much of their art to scroll through so. i'm not worried anymore hahaha#i actually struggled so much w/ the composition here!! but i let it sit for a day and came back to change the frame and now it's fine#and i know i've drawn angst before but when i draw smth like this i always make it a point to depict a kaveh that is exuding happiness#it can be hard to accept yourself and your identity and at least in these pieces i want kaveh to be proof of queer joy#or more specifically. aromantic joy#bc sometimes it can be hard to believe it exists but maybe seeing it can help you believe it's out there#i also don't think i've ever went into detail about my kaveh and why i hc him as arospec? maybe i should do that sometime
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We need to talk about the worst thing about making AUs....
The fact that then when you inevitably think about crossovers you don't want the crossover with the canon you want it with your specific AU. Your brain worms, your circus, but THEN WHAT?
Oh, yeah, to understand this crossover you need to go read this entirely different fic/series? Girl help 😭 you can't do that
#high-key this post is about the genrex x dp crossover I started way back when and how I don't think i'll ever be able to go back to it#bc fae and I have literally put such a massive amount of work into f.h:s and fleshing out the world and how everything works and#the characters personalities and development that I genuinely do not wanna write something in the canon universe anymore#like f.h:s has become my default way of thinking about Rex in a creative capacity#we're here just to suffer but also experience untold amounts of joy you know#we're really lucky here in the phandom bc fanon is so prevalent that people are willing to get in on the ground floor with any#wacky crazy fun hcs you can dish out#and i love it here for that#but for the smaller fandoms its... you cant expect your readers to already have an understanding of your specific au and bible length hcs#anyway#in a low-key way this post is also about how#last month Fae and i went insane for several days about our gen rex AU version of Rex ina crossover with Murderbot and it was so fun but al#It was just for fun and for us YES but I keep thinking about and it's objectively hilarious to write something that is for a max of 4 ppl#When you really get to it tho it was actually for a max of 2 people and those two people are named Kei and Fae
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[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]
Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?
[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*
–
Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.
Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!
Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.
* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.
#Pactw#QSMP#Pac#March 18 2024#As much as I love keeping people updated about Pac / the other Portuguese-speaking creators#I think I might not make as many transcribed posts for their clips anymore#I just don't think I'm qualified enough to be transcribing things for a language I don't know#like yeah we have the Qlobal Translator and Aypierre's translators to rely on#And I'm always upfront when I'm not 100% sure about a translation#but I've been thinking about it a lot and it kinda makes me feel a bit icky. Idk.#I might be overthinking this but I just I don't want to spread around translations I'm not super confident about#esp. since I know a lot of people cite my clips in analysis posts or link them to other people as resources#and 90% of the time I'm like ''Hell yeah I love seeing people getting a lot of use out of the archive''#but sometimes I get a bit anxious like ''Did I do a good enough job translating this''#''Am I ruining someone's entire perception of a conversation or character because I left one word out or mistranslated something?''#And like I said that's normally not a HUGE concern since if I'm not certain about a translation I just won't post a clip. but you know#idk it might just be the anxiety talking but I really really don't want to spread bad info#Happy to hear other folks' perspective#I'm really grateful for people like Bell and Pix and others who translate clips and I always try to reblog those#but we don't have a ton of people posting clips & translating things on Tumblr since we're so English-centric#which is part of the reason WHY I like sharing clips of the non-English-speaking CCs#but at the same time I want to do an accurate job representing what they're saying#Maybe I'll just start posting things and give a TLDR context of what they're talking about but not a transcript#that way native-speakers can hop in and add translations if that's something they're comfortable doing#and if not then well. at least I'm not sharing something that isn't super accurate#idk I'm just thinking out loud a bit in the tags#But I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts on the matter#Anyways giant rant aside. q!Pac is NOT doing ok rn
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Underneath the suit, Human Guy is more of an abstract concept. I mean, yes, he is a real guy under there, but he doesn't like to acknowledge that too much. He's got plenty of other stuff going on to make up for that though, like wires replacing his organs and blood on his hands and a certain pinkish infection that claimed his legs and eye that may or may not come back to finish the job.
#i had fun with this one#i have so many thoughts about this guy#do i tag this as speculative biology?#idk#he has so much going on instead of being a normal guy that he doesn't really think of himself as one anymore#not that it matters since he's the only human living on confibula so palindromes don't know the difference#my number one rule with human guy is that he can only be depicted without the suit if he's also depicted without skin#because the two have become synonymous to him#scopophobia#maybe?
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I—I cannot go on—words—and—v-voice—f-fail m-me!
Mina listens to him sobbing again, she must in order to eventually transcribe this too, right? But this time, he's crying for her.
That must hit really hard to hear. The intimacy of her listening to his audio diary really hits home once again...
#dracula daily#mina murray#jack seward#i wonder WHEN these parts get transcribed because that could change the context of her feelings about it quite a bit#i feel like she'd probably want to do it before they leave. so they can all have the latest version of everything in case they need it#but at the same time she is officially not in on the secret anymore for now#so either they just don't for now or they DO which raises the very interesting possibility of someone ELSE transcribing these few days#jonathan for instance would be fascinating#but then mina wouldn't get to hear him crying for her and i want that to happen#it would be a neat echo for her in the same way quincey calling her 'little girl' like he did lucy was#i don't remember if art has any such echo though i don't think so
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Bow problems (+ other nonsense)
#saroart#dead cells#the beheaded#the collector#they just wanted a nice bow#the collector can do a lot of stuff but i don't think he's good at bows#i was drawing a lot of antagonistic beheaded/collector content so i wanted to do some more cute junk#okay a lot is an exaggeration. still#need some guys being buds content sometimes#weird monster guys doing domestic shit is my favorite genre#i got a bonus at holiday time and im tempted to buy a tablet i can use portably#esp because holy fuck i don't know how to draw anymore#but also i just spent stupid money on tickets to live podcasts so i probably shouldn't#unrelated im very upset today because fucking UPS didn't ring my goddamn doorbell and so “”missed me“” and couldnt deliver my specialty meds#why must i get my meds through ups#because the us is a hellscape and i am beholden to my health insurance company#ups who has literally never managed to get a package to this apartment#tbh im stressed as fuck about having to go through this every goddamn month
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I don't feel very well
I feel upset and confused and disappointed
and kind of scared for the future... I don't like when people suffer. i dont want more suffering to happen in this community
I'm still going to try to finish my batch of emote redraws, I think... I only have one more to get done.
I'm trying to distract myself, but it's difficult... I feel like I finally stopped thinking about it entirely the other day and now I can't stop thinking about it again
Please don't harass others, for any reason. it never helps anybody. (i don't think yelling at people on anon is going to do any good either; it's not particularly productive. you should think very carefully about what you say to people and what good you believe it will accomplish.)
and please all be more critical of information you come across in the future... it can help avoid this sort of thing repeating
#yes this is referring to what you think it is#what do i tag this with? i don't know#i dont have any great statements to make about anything#i just feel bad and i don't know what the right thing to do is anymore#im not sure what i should be doing. i dont know#nonspecific nonsense#luna's broadcasts#serious#vent#pansear-doodles#you can ask me about it if you want i guess#idk if ill respond
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