#but I don't know when that will ever be and I hate him every day for taking that from me for taking so much of me from me all that time

[alhaithams-malewife]

I remember getting into a heated argument with him over this issue, actually. (Adding a cut because this went on longer than I intended)

I was struggling with a very condescending and belittling client for about five or so months and eventually what he (client) said got to me more than usual. I don't remember the exact comment, but it was something along the lines of "you force yourself to be perfect and yet you're never good enough." Needless to say, I was pretty devastated.

So anyway, I went to Lambad's, probably gave myself liver problems during the... four hours I was there, I think? Per usual, Lambad had to call Alhaitham to come pick me up because according to him I had drank so much I was talking to the chair across from me thinking it was Cyno. Why him, I don't know. Maybe because it was around that time that he was, contrary to popular belief, the first person in our friend group to figure out that I had a massive crush on him (I hate using such childish terms, though.)

I woke up the next afternoon with a searing hangover, and if anyone knows me, they know I get really, really cranky when I'm like that. I walked over to my desk and... this is embarrassing, but I threw everything off the desk in a fit of rage directed at the client, my inability to please clients, and myself. Haitham walked in thinking I had fallen out of bed and instead saw me breaking down. The conversation went something like this:

Him, standing in the doorway: "So, are you still drunk, or are you just unable to control your emotions even when sober?"

Me, sitting at the now-empty desk with head in hands: "Shut up. What does it matter to you, anyway?"

🌱: "Because one, you interrupted my downtime. Two, I heard your tantrum through my soundproof earpieces. And three, I had to see if I needed to have you pay for damages to the house."

🏛️: "Oh, boohoo. All you ever have to worry about is money this, annoyance that." (Why did I ever say that?)

🌱: "As if your career isn't drawing boxes and lines. You're the most famous architect in Sumeru yet you don't own your own home. How sad."

Then, for some stupid reason, I threw a pen at him and yelled, "You have no idea how hard I work every single day and every single night just trying to make the clients happy. But no, they go and tell me no matter how hard I work, I'll never be good enough! Then there's you, who makes a huge salary without ever hardly moving from your desk! So of course I'm angry. Of course I'm going to let it slip!"

🌱: "Well, do you believe them?"

🏛️: "What do you think?!"

I don't remember what he said after that, I just slammed the door and left. Then it started raining hard and he pretty much dragged me home. I asked why he even cared, and he said to use my brain. ("...or are you that dense?") Those were pretty much the conclusions I came to, except for the one about my father. @ags-haitham You did what?! /lh

He probably meant what he said in the best way, though. Either way, I'd rather have petty arguments like this than be without him at all.

"but what does he REALLY want with me?" my brooo, kaveh, Alhaitham does care about you just trust me, i'm the bedside lamp 😭

inspired by daikyto9

[spermeboy]

EWB!Rafe Cameron

ewb = enemies with benefits.

You hated his guts. He never cared for you one bit, he would throw you to the curb when if he had the chance. Yet somehow you ended up in his bed pretty much every night, Rafe didn't want to admit it but he hated you slightly less than before you started sleeping together, now your probably wondering how all of this even started well let me get into it.

You were both at the same house party that one of your mutual friends were hosting (I know, what a shock you share a friend) Everyone knew how much you both hated eachother so they did everything in their power to keep you away from him and vice versa. Ultimately, you both ran into each other while heading to the toilet. He walked in at the same time you did (two doors, it's an ensuite), and you started screaming at him to get out "I WAS IN HERE FIRST!" you yelled out.

He didn't listen, but what a surprise cause he never listened. You were both massively drunk, and you both just stopped and stared at each other, wobbling side to side slightly, and you both just started making out. You hopped yourself up with the help of Rafe and he practically ripped your jeans and underwear off and pulled down his jeans till they reached his knees and Rafe spat down on his cock and just started fucking you while you were both in your drunken state.

Surprisingly, even in his drunken state, he still managed to hit all the right spots. In the moment where he is fucking destroying your hole while making out with your neck you didn't really hate him, you still felt a strong sense of annoyance but not hate. Your eyes rolled back into your head as he continue to just fuck you rougher and rougher his tongue sliding up your neck past your chin and into your mouth. Your eyes widen in surprise, and his tongue enters your mouth, but you ain't complaining.

He at least had the good idea to pull out. He shot his load all over your thigh as you also shot your load at the same time feeling his cock slip out of your hole, after a moment of Rafe resting his face against your neck after finishing he clears his throat and silently cleans both of you up before zipping up his jeans and leaving the bathroom. Ever since that drunken night Rafe did try to avoid you till he couldn't anymore and he showed up at your door late at night, once you opened the door he barged in and started kissing you all over and then you were getting fucked on your stairs.

This happened pretty much every day, sometimes twice a day. You still hated eachothers guts but he loved your hole and you loved his cock, but you both won't ever admit that maybe you don't hate eachother...you just "dislike" eachother.

[katyawriteswhump]

Steddie Wiggly Wednesday🪱🐛🪱🐛

Thanks for the tag @wheneverfeasible and @medusapelagia and possibly some other lovely moots. Sorry, I move in ice ages!

CW for original character death. Don't worry, Steddie and all canon characters are safe.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

Steve has an older brother, Cal, less than two years older than him. He loves his brother and hates his guts because Cal is stupidly perfect.

Not just grade A student perfect and state championship tennis finals perfect. Cal is so ridiculously, effortlessly nice. He floats above the High School popularity monster on some cotton-candy cloud of perfection—so high above all the shit that he can play Dungeons and Dragons with Eddie ‘freakshow’ Munson every week and walk away untarnished.

Steve’s pretty popular too, but he’s laboring for it the hard way— hanging with the ‘right’ crowd, dating the ‘mean’ girls. He’s sweating it out on the basketball court, barely scraping through the classes that Cal aced. Of course, his parents are pissed, and he knows he’ll never emerge from Cal’s perfect shadow.  Cal secretly gave Steve all his old class notes to copy and offered to coach him, but Jesus, who’s gotten time for that shit?

So yeah, Steve hates Cal, and he loves him too. When Steve figures he might be bi, he’s in need of his brother like never before, though can’t find the right words. He’s got a dumb crush on Tommy H and… Ugh, it’s not like he can tell Tommy, and even when Steve gets over his crush, nobody in Hawkins is gonna accept that kind of shit.

Naturally, his perfect brother sees when Steve stops hanging with Tommy and the others. Sees when Steve stops dating. On that spring night, when it’s only the two of them and a sixpack at home by the pool, Cal knows. Even before Steve starts to inarticulately explain how confused and screwed up he is. Even before Steve tells Cal he’s over Tommy, but he’s definitely queer, and faking being the Steve Harrington the world wants to see is killing him. He’s failing his classes, and Hargrove is humiliating him on the basketball court. Steve’s got a totally messed up crush on Billy too, even though the guy treats him like dirt. Steve is scared Billy knows, and… Crap, why is his life such a mess?

He cries. He hates himself for it, but he cries, and it’s okay, because he’s got his brother, and he hates how perfect Cal is. But Cal is always gonna be there, and he’ll always have his back.

Cal is off to MIT in the fall. So yeah, that’s gonna suck, until… Cal doesn’t go. Instead, he gets sick.

Really sick. Steve’s worried, but this is Cal, he’s perfect. Everyone says that Cal is gonna ‘beat it.’ As if, because he’s a good person, he’s going to somehow exert his magic over whatever fucked-up biology is destroying his body.

Cal has three months to live.

Eddie is devastated. It was supposed to be Cal’s final campaign before he ascended to the higher plane of an Ivy League school. Now it’s simply final.

Suddenly, Eddie is moving Hellfire Club to Hawkins General Hospital, and then hosting it at the fucking Harrington’s. Nobody is shrieking or dousing him in Holy Water, and it would be hilarious, if it wasn’t so horrible.  Obviously, Eddie is determined to make it the greatest, most metal campaign he’s ever conducted. He’s crumbling inside. They all are. These are the last days he gets to share with the guy from the ‘right’ side of the rails who looked at Eddie and saw Eddie, rather than the con-supremo-spawn of Al Munson.

Cal’s a-hole kid brother, Steve, starts hovering around when they’re playing. For obvious reasons. He needs to cling to every last moment with Cal, too. Lurking in dark corners, Steve starts staring at Eddie so hard it gets creepy. Eddie knows he’s pretty magnetic when he’s in full-on DM mode, but this is weird. Obviously, Steve must want ‘in,’ so Eddie reluctantly offers to help him draw up a character card, and… shock horror.

Steve Harrington isn’t that much of an a-hole. Now, it’s just the two of them, laughing and sketching and conjuring with D and D ideas, and Steve’s oddly jumpy. He doesn’t seem to be able to look Eddie in the eye, keeps staring at Eddie’s mouth, then touching his own, licking his lips. Eddie is… confused. Steve Harrington is cute. He is also supposed to be a repellent jock—not this guy who swerves maniacally between hilariously bitchy sniping and self-effacing over-apologies.

Once Eddie gets Steve going in Hellfire, Steve is stupidly over-confident, almost back to dumbass-Steve-the-jock. Eddie has a billion chances to slaughter him, and he refrains. For Cal.

Oh, and because, Eddie’s got a stupid crush on his friend’s kid brother. He figures out there is barely a year age gap between him and Steve, though. Cal was old in his year group, and Eddie one of the younger ones.

Still irrelevant. Steve is straight. Eddie’s 100% sure. Well, he would be, if Steve would stop blushing and glancing away whenever Eddie seeks eye contact.

Then Cal calls Eddie one night, asks him to come over. Cal’s getting sicker, so he detonates the bombshell.

You’d be perfect for my brother, man.

What the fuck?

Okay, so he doesn’t press Cal for details. It’s implied that Steve is into guys, but… Woah! Too much! His sick friend wants him to date his younger brother? Like, a dying wish? Yeah, Eddie likes Steve, and now he’s starting to read Steve’s feelings into the way Steve acts around him. But no way are they perfect for each other.

He gives it a shot.

On their first date, Eddie takes Steve to a dive bar Cal used to love more that it deserved, and where Eddie sometimes performs with Corroded Coffin. They make out around the back, against some dingy brick wall. They’re slightly drunk, and the kiss is wet and messy, and they’re stupid happy and then both so stupid sad that they stop trying not to be. They can’t kiss away the pain, but they can kiss. They cry so hard.

Eddie has found another Harrington brother who actually sees him. It occurs to him, more gradually, that he’s the only person in the world, other than Cal, who actually sees Steve.

What the fuck AGAIN?

And then he’s the only person left in the world who sees Steve, and besides Wayne, Steve is the only person left who really sees Eddie.

Steve loves Cal so much, and he hates him. He was so fucking perfect that he couldn’t possibly ditch his little brother without setting him up with a soulmate.

🪱🐛🪱🐛

My ST fic on AO3

no pressure tags: @mugloversonly @tea42 @fuctacles @queenie-ofthe-void

[mammalsofaction]

A/N: Whoops, this came out a little more angsty than I originally planned.

Perry hates having to go to HQ.

Oh, he's got nothing against the building itself, and his relationship with most of his coworkers is fairly amicable. Perry just hates having to go there, since he generally prefers spending his free time (spare enough as it were) around family, and other assorted loved ones. There's almost nothing he needs to do at HQ that he couldn't fulfil in the lair beneath his house, or the office in his room, anyway. And shit always, always goes down when he has to spend more than 5 consecutive hours in his assigned office cubicle.

Of course, they key word to the first statement was "almost."

And predictably, the aforementioned shit he was waiting for strolls into his space half an hour past lunchbreak, slapping a couple of polaroids on top of his desk by his elbow.

Pinky waits patiently for Perry to give a damn, and Perry looks up warily when Pinky Garcia-Shapiro stays suspiciously quiet for a whole minute. Pinky gestures to the photos, and Perry takes a look, goes back to his computer, before realization hits him upside the head like a steel pole and shoves itself down the back of his spine, sitting him ramrod straight in his crappy office chair as he picks the first photo off the top of the deck.

Pinky's waiting with his eyebrows raised when Perry swirls around to face him fully. It's not what it looks like, Perry signs, and flinches when the look he receives in return is less than impressed.

Does that matter? Pinky signs sharply in return, instead of speaking aloud, which was the biggest sign if ever that Perry's not only screwed up, but he's screwed up bad. It meant that they're keeping this conversation on the down lower than low, and he owes his Pinky big time. Clint found these on the carnival security footage two days ago, and I had to talk him down from reporting to HR. I made sure he knows you owe him your life, and then some. Pinky continues, uncharacteristically serious. It's the most off-putting thing in this entire scenario. He's not Carl, Perry, not every intern in this company's all too happy about keeping their mouths shut about your goddamned crush. You took him to the pop shop? What were you thinking?

I was thinking it was an accident. And it was barely a date. Perry retorts sharply, hands stuttering on that last little tidbit. Wait, screw that, it wasn't a date at all. We were just-we were technically stalking Vanessa on her outing-

I'm not the goddamned Colonel, Perry. Pinky interrupts sharply, slicing his hand through the air. You don't have to make your excuses to me. It doesn't matter what it was, unless you're standing by Francis' desk when he has to answer for the shit leaking up the grapevine. It matters how it looks like. Perry, you don't need me to tell you to be-to be careful.

Perry grunts, slumping into the back of his chair, hands slapped over his eyes as he attempts to calm himself down. I know, he signs, one handed. I know, Pinky, I'm sorry. Thank you.

And he is sorry. He is as much grateful that Pinky caught it first, being the Chief of OWCA's digital security division, as well as that he had enough weight to throw around to stop these photos from leaking onto Francis' desk. Pinky didn't have to, but of course he did, because they were friends, and Pinky cared about him.

These last few years have been...hard. Harder, knowing Heinz was getting so ready to hang up his labcoat (at least in the evil sense of the word), a growth in character proportional to this terrifying, unnameable thing growing between them, full of weight and wonder and meaning.

It's made him reckless. And everyday that passes them by without having Heinz in his arms, it's getting harder and harder for Perry to remember why that's a bad thing.

Pinky sighs, squeezing his shoulder. "Hey," he says, out loud this time, so that Perry takes his hand off of his eyes to peek. "On the plus side, I've never seen the guy look so happy."

Perry feels his ears burning in embarrassment, and Pinky laughs, low and sincere.

"You guys look cute together." Pinky teases, and laughs when Perry swats at him, shoo-ing him out of the cubicle. He does leave, eventually, and Perry knows he owes the man lunch for at least the next two weeks, and taking over his next spare mission, at least.

He leaves the photos behind, and Perry picks them up, his hand reaching for the lighter he keeps on his lowest desk drawer to burn them over his wastepaper basket. They are likely the very last trace of such damning evidence of Perry's...Perry's fraternizing, too risky to keep around, and he has to burn them. He has to.

Heinz was caught laughing, in one of them, his hair ashen-grey around the edges from the debris of his latest failed Inator, but there was no sign of bitterness and regret in his features. Perry remembers how the wrinkles by his eyes had started to curl down his cheeks, like paper folded down the same joy-filled routes. Laugh lines. The photo could not capture the light in his eyes then; The setting sun had painted the slant of the pier a blood orange, but looking into Heinz's darling blue eyes was like looking into an eternal summer, evergreen.

They shared one drink, because Perry wasn't hungry, but Heinz wanted something sweet, and there wasn't anything Heinz wanted Perry didn't want to pay for. The two straws were a compromise, and the bartender had given them both a sly, knowing look Heinz had not understood, but Perry had. It took him hours to cool down the blush from his cheeks.

Heinz had called him cute.

In another photo, their heads are bent together, conspiring over Vanessa's love life, and Perry does not mistake their fingertips over the tabletop, his palms curling over the back of Heinz's own.

I've never seen the guy look so happy.

Damnit.

DAMNIT.

Fuck. Damn. Shit.

Perry throws the lighter back into its drawer with a vengeance, clutching the stack of photos like a lifeline. He slumps over his desk, burying his face into the crook of elbow to muffle a frustrated scream. Is this really how he was going to repay Pinky's concern? By shutting his eyes and spelling out his own doom, tucking the evidence of his own sins into his fucking wallet? Was he stupid?

(Is Heinz worth it?)

Yes, Perry knows, because the one person Perry could never rightly lie to was himself. Yes, he is.

I got the inspiration from this post

[alsofoundinpeas]

I Don't Need To Know

Summary: Spencer Reid has no choice but to watch the love of his life fall in love with another man. 

CONTENT WARNINGS: 18+ MDNI!! This fic is intended for adult audiences. Major character death. HEAVY angst. Bittersweet ending? Graphic depictions of violence (for maybe two lines). Fingering (f receiving). P in v sex/unprotected sex (in terms of a condom, birth control is mentioned). Loss of virginity (both m and f). Creampie (god I hate that word ugh!!). Slight age gap (roughly five years). Argument scene that may be triggering for readers that have experienced SA or manipulation from a partner (nothing of that nature actually happens, but just in case).

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

A/N: This is inspired by Will He by Joji, so I highly recommend listening to it while reading. I cried several times while writing this, but I felt it needed to be done so here it is. :’) Please tell me what you think! If you enjoy it, please like, reblog, and share it with your friends! <3 Thank you and I love you all :)

I got knots all up in my chest… Just know, I’m trying my best…

Spencer had always found the saying “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If not, it was never meant to be” absurd. He couldn’t fathom willingly letting go of something he loved on the off chance that it would come back to him. Not after having everything he’d ever loved ripped from his clutches throughout his lifetime. To him, love wasn’t about releasing someone to see if they’d return. It was about holding on as though his very survival depended on it—like a feral cat finally finding food after days of hunger, sinking its teeth in and never letting go, no matter the cost. 

It wasn’t until today that Spencer finally understood the meaning of that stupid phrase. And he wished with every intricate thread of his being that he didn’t. 

Five years. Five long, agonizing years had passed. So why was he here now? Why, after what felt like an eternity of pleading for just one more moment with her, did the universe decide now was the time to give him what he wanted? 

Ironically, the timing only drove home another phrase he’d always hated: “Be careful what you wish for.” 

There she was, as beautiful as the day he’d met her, sitting in the corner of what had once been their favorite café. The sunlight streaming through the windows catches on her ring, the enticing glinting of the jewelry drawing his eyes away from her face momentarily. His heart is in his throat. She’s still wearing the wedding ring he’d given her, twisting it in the same nervous fashion she always used to. 

And there across from her is a man that isn’t him making her smile. 

‘Cause when you look… When you laugh… When you smile… I’ll bring you back…

Spencer Reid had never been a particularly angry man. He had his moments—who didn’t?—but he usually considered himself level-headed, patient. But now, watching Y/N hide a bashful smile behind the rim of her mug as she gazed at the man across from her, all Spencer could feel was rage. Raw, unbridled rage. It flared up inside him as her head tipped back, the sound of her laughter crashing over him like a tidal wave, stirring his veins with a violent rush. The same sound he’d yearned to hear again for five fucking years. And it was all because of him—Ben. 

That was his girl. His perfect, beautiful girl. The love of his life. His angel. 

All Spencer could do was stand there, feeling every broken shard of his non-existent heart pierce his chest. 

And now I’m sad… And I’m a mess… And now we high… That’s why I left… That’s why I left…

It wasn’t meant to be like this. Spencer had never wanted to leave her. But that choice wasn’t his to make. 

That cold, cruel September night six years ago had robbed Spencer of his very existence. 

Everything that could have gone wrong during that case did. The bullet wasn’t meant for him, but he took it anyway. He had traded his life in exchange for JJ’s. It wasn’t even meant to be heroic. It wasn’t done out of love. It was just instinct. It’s who he was as a person. 

Was. 

The word leaves a bitter taste in the back of his throat. Because that’s his reality now. He was a person; an agent, a professor, a son, a husband…

Now he’s… well, that he didn’t quite understand. As a man of science, Spencer was stumped by what he could even call his existence now. Calling himself a ghost felt silly—he felt as alive as the day he’d died. And yet, that was essentially what he was. A whisper of the person he’d once been. A soul caught between worlds. 

Spencer could still feel the exact moment his soul wrenched free from its physical tether to the world. Even recalling it sent a shiver down his spine. It hadn’t been peaceful, as so many people claimed in interviews. No… it had been agony in its purest form; white hot and searing as his very essence clawed its way out from his ribs. There was no light waiting for him to step into it and find peace.

Instead, he had watched helplessly as the team he called his family swarmed his dead body, uselessly screaming for a medic as the crimson puddle underneath him grew and smeared beneath their hands as they knelt beside him. He had watched Y/N swing open their door that fateful night, the excited grin on her face vanishing as she came face to face with a tearful Emily instead of the husband she’d been eagerly waiting for. And he had watched the guilt eat away at JJ as their eyes met at his funeral, the hatred on Y/N’s face so raw it made Spencer’s own stomach twist. 

Despite the Bureau's insistence, she took charge of every detail—planning his funeral in a way that honored everything Spencer would have wanted. Y/N held Diana as she wept over her baby boy's body. She delivered a eulogy that left even Spencer in shambles. She was the first person to arrive and the last to leave, waiting until everyone had left to sink to her knees beside his casket and howl her grievances. 

For that first year, Y/N was as strong as she could be during the day. She handled everything that needed to be done, as long as the sun was still up. But when night fell, and the suffocating silence of their empty home settled in… that’s when she’d finally let herself break. 

Spencer had never been a religious man, but the year after his death felt like an endless descent into his own personal hell. He would never escape the sound of those gut-wrenching screams. He cursed whatever force had condemned him to an eternity where he could do nothing but watch, powerless as Y/N crumpled to the floor night after night, her wails so desperate it seemed as though she thought breaking the sound barrier might somehow bring him back to life. 

All he could do was stay beside her, silently pleading for his touch to somehow reach her, his hands brushing over her again and again, unnoticed and unfelt. 

Time was no longer a concept to Spencer. 

The limits of his existence perplexed him. He couldn’t roam freely, couldn’t go where he pleased—he could only follow where Y/N went. It was as if his very soul was bound to hers, linked by some invisible string that kept him tied to her even in death. It brought him both joy and sorrow: joy in the fact that he could still watch her, still admire the way she carried on, and sorrow because she would never know he was there, silently urging her forward, so incredibly proud of her strength. 

The longer he lingered, the more control he gained over his abilities. It started with the smallest things—a strand of hair lifting with the brush of his fingers, a faint chill against her skin as he cradled her face while she slept. But soon, it became more. Doors creaked open as he stepped into rooms behind her, and objects shifted ever so slightly from their places when he pushed with just enough force. 

There were times when she seemed to sense him—moments Spencer cherished more than anything. In those fleeting instances, it felt as though she could see him, even though he knew she couldn’t. Every day, rain or shine, she visited his grave, and when she spoke to him, her gaze would drift forward, as if she were looking into the honey-colored eyes she once loved. Her hands would rest open in her lap, as though she knew he was holding them. When she was home, she’d speak aloud every thought that came to mind, as though she knew he could hear every word that fell from her perfect lips. And he always responded as if she could hear him in return. That was their new life for the first year after his death. 

After a year and one day, he was gone. 

That’s where his understanding of the phrase “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If not, it was never meant to be” came from. It was because she had set him free. 

One whole year had passed. The hardest year of Y/N’s life. She had knelt by his grave, laying fresh flowers with trembling hands, her tears falling freely for hours. When she finally stood to leave, her legs unsteady beneath her, she pressed a soft kiss to his headstone. Through her tears, she whispered how much she missed him, how he never left her thoughts, and how she’d never stop loving him—but above all, she wished he could be at peace. And on the night following the anniversary of his passing, her wish was granted. He had faded into nothingness, existing only in her dreams and memories for five long years. 

But now, he was back. Because he had always been hers. 

Will your tongue still remember the taste of my lips? Will your shadow remember the swing of my hips? 

Spencer remembered their first time like it was yesterday, though he wasn’t sure if he could thank his eidetic memory or the fact that it was because of how remarkable it had been for the memory lingering so vividly...

“You’re lying! You’ve really never had sex before?” 

Y/N squawked the words incredulously as she sat atop Spencer’s lap, grinning down at the stammering mess of a man beneath her. Spencer’s hands flexed against her hips, unintentionally squeezing as he took a deep breath to calm himself. 

They were inside Spencer’s apartment, having enjoyed the museum and dinner but still craving each other’s company too badly to end the night there. What started as sweet, innocent pecks pressed up against the kitchen counter had quickly devolved into ravenous, passionate kisses that had them stumbling towards the couch. It was going so well… until Spencer panicked after Y/N had whispered into his ear asking how far he wanted things to go. 

That resulted in him spewing out the fact that he, at twenty-six years old, was a virgin.

“No, I haven’t! Why is that so hard to believe?” Spencer huffs, his small smile belying his annoyed tone. 

It was their sixth date total in a span of four months, but it was their first date as an actual couple. Spencer had reluctantly agreed to let Penelope set him up on a blind date after his failed attempt at taking JJ out had shattered any of the confidence he’d built up, leaving the man petrified of taking his chances romantically again. He suspected Penelope’s pity for him was why she was setting up said date to begin with, but he quickly found himself grateful that he went. 

Y/N had been friends with Penelope for years, having bonded online over some indie punk rock band that was no longer around and developing a close friendship from there despite their age difference. When Penelope found out Y/N had moved to Virginia and was single, she couldn’t resist setting the two up. 

It’s Y/N’s turn to stammer as she quickly thinks of a response. “I, uh… you’re just so handsome that I naturally assumed you’d had sex before.” 

Spencer blinks up at her skeptically, trying to detect even the faintest clue that the otherworldly woman in his lap was lying to him. All he found was nervous adoration as she stared back down at him, her cheeks flushed a beautiful shade of pink. It suited her. He wanted to cause it more often. 

“I had, um… I graduated super early from both high school and college, so I didn’t do much dating.” 

Instead of the judgment Spencer expected to see spread across her face, Y/N simply just hummed in understanding, her eyes curious as they watched him. He’d elaborate more on his unfortunate (for lack of a better term) adolescence later. For now, he just wanted to keep from scaring the poor girl off of his lap so he could taste her sweet chapstick again. 

“I see…” Y/N murmurs before continuing, shifting forward slightly with a smirk. “I’ll let you in on a little secret. I’m also a virgin.” 

Spencer’s eyes widened almost comically as he gawked up at her. His heart stutters in his chest, his mouth going dry. His tongue pokes out in a meek attempt at wetting his lips, his voice cracking as he responds. 

“Et tu, Y/N?” 

Oh fuck. Spencer hadn’t meant to let the lame reference slip from his mouth. She just made him so nervous that he couldn’t think straight, and Rome had been heavily on his mind since she had perched herself in his lap. Specifically Roman goddesses, because she looked like she should be amongst them on their thrones. Surely she was going to leave now—-

Loud, genuine laughter bubbles from Y/N’s lips, the noise startling Spencer as she tips her head back and her hands grip his shoulders to stabilize herself. She thought it was funny. She thought he was funny. 

“That’s, like, the last thing I expected you to say,” Y/N managed once her laughter had simmered down into giggles. “But, to answer your question… I too have really never had sex before.” 

Spencer knew that it wasn’t due to a lack of suitors. The woman was sex personified; the archetype of beauty and seduction wrapped into one perfect being. The twitching in his pants brought his attention back to the situation at hand. He could ask her later why that was. For now, he brought his focus back to her. 

In an uncharacteristically bold move, Spencer tilted his head up to brush their noses together. “Would you… would you want to?” 

It didn’t take a profiler to notice the hitch in her breath or the almost imperceptible squeezing of her thighs around his hips. Her pupils were already blown, her lower lip trembling from what Spencer prayed was anticipation and not regret as his question settled over her. The silence stretched between them, the seconds feeling like hours in Spencer���s overly anxious mind. 

He’d done it now. He’d gone off and opened his stupid mouth and frightened the one woman he could actually see himself having a future with because the head straining against his zipper overruled the head housing his supposed genius level IQ. The apologies were already forming in the back of his throat, but they weren’t needed because she— she was kissing him? 

“God, yes. Please,” Y/N murmured eagerly against his lips, effectively clearing every cohesive thought from his brain. 

If Spencer thought her words were enough to bring upon his undoing, he was sorely mistaken. The grinding of her hips against his erection ignited something inside of him that he had no idea existed. It was feral, drowning out all of his other emotions and replacing them with one thing: primal, unfiltered desire. 

Spencer understood now why men used to start wars over women. 

With each gasp that fell upon his ears, Spencer pledged his allegiance to her. Every stuttered moan that came into existence from his hips rutting up into her clothed core fueled his devotion to her. It was animalistic, the way his hands gripped her ass and pulled her tighter against his body as his mouth devoured her now, every cell swimming through his veins screaming for more. More of her touch, more of her taste, more of her sounds... God, those heavenly sounds that had Spencer finally believing in salvation, if only in the form of her skin against his.  

Tongues danced together as layers were hastily stripped away. Layers of insecurity. Layers of self-doubt. Layers of uncertainty. Their clothes fell to the ground as though the fabric burned them, clumsy hands fidgeting with buttons and tugging at zippers with a vendetta. 

Those layers that had crumbled so easily were replaced instead with the firm knowledge that this was exactly where they were meant to be: in each other’s arms, trembling and panting as their world’s trajectory tilted so violently it uprooted them from their upright position, knocking them down against the leather cushions as their bodies attempted to mend their separated souls back into one. 

Spencer choked on the words he wanted to worship her with, so instead he used the most primitive sense he could to get his message across: touch. His lips sucked purpling reminders into the crook of her neck of what they both knew to be true now: He is hers just as much as she is his. Lithe fingers tugged the soaked fabric of her lace panties down until they landed in a heap with their other clothes. Those same fingers pause at the crest of her most intimate spot, his eyes meeting hers with a silent plea. 

Y/N found herself in the same position, her words failing her as they were strangled in her throat by the overwhelming adoration she felt for the man hovering above her. Instead of chanting her desire for Spencer to please touch her, she canted her hips up in approval. 

Her moans were swallowed by swollen lips that claimed the sound straight from her body as nimble fingers dug themselves into the deepest parts of her. Their rhythm was clumsy but steadfast, her hips bucking against his hand in jerky movements as the palm of his hand pressed against her clit. Spencer’s own hips ground against the bare skin of her thigh, shielded only by the immature fabric of his equation-covered boxers. 

Spencer hadn’t for a second thought the night was going to go like this. If he had known he’d have the definition of art itself clawing at his shoulders and panting into his mouth while he made her legs tremble beneath him, he wouldn’t have worn what he deemed his lucky boxers. At least they had done their job, he supposed. 

Their lips separated completely as a guttural moan wrenched its way from Y/N’s throat, her body beginning to thrash wildly underneath him as the tension in her lower belly coiled tighter. Spencer wouldn’t allow her first time to happen on his couch. She was much too precious for that. But he’d already made the decision to unravel her at least once while they were there, to bring her over the edge before taking her into his bedroom so that he could experience the glorious sight of her falling apart more than once tonight. 

Spencer was a virgin, not a prude. He’d seen porn before. He’d read erotic novels. Anything he could use to try to prepare himself for the real experience, he did. But nothing could have prepared him for the downright visceral reaction Y/N had as his fingers curled and brushed against the rough patch of skin inside of her that caused the tension building in her body to snap. Her cries of pleasure tore through him as her pussy clenched around his fingers, his free hand leaving its place beside her head to keep her thighs pried open. He quickly shifted up onto his knees to watch her taking his fingers as she came, taking the pleasure he inflicted upon her. 

He sang her praises while slowing his pace, cooing softly at her as he stroked her hair and worked her through the aftershocks of her orgasm. Only when she was squirming and whining beneath him did he finally remove his fingers, sucking them into his mouth greedily. Y/N’s mouth gaped open as her chest heaved, her eyes locked on Spencer as his tongue lapped over his fingers, enjoying her essence with a groan. Her body sagged into the couch, a delighted laugh spilling from her exhausted frame as she smiled up at him, her eyes twinkling in the dim light of his living room. 

“Do you still want to keep going?” Spencer breathed as he gazed down at her, his cheeks flushed and eyes full of something that made Y/N's heart flutter. “B-because we can stop there if you want. I just… I want to do what makes you happy.” 

Above her was the man she’d recognized, soft and timid, but now with a newfound air of confidence in his eyes that hadn’t been there before. Above her was the man that she wanted more than anything. Above her was the man that she knew, without a shadow of doubt, would be her husband. 

“Spencer… if you don’t fuck me right now, then I’ll die a virgin, right here on your couch... and it will be all your fault.” 

Spencer’s hearty chuckles filled the room, his nose twitching as he grinned down at the dramatic woman. He simply couldn’t let that be her fate, could he? 

Shaking his head, he stooped down to press a gentle kiss to her nose before standing from the couch, offering her his (clean) hand. Y/N’s face twisted in confusion as she stared up at him, still reeling from the earth-shattering orgasm surprisingly given to her by the same man who’d eagerly rambled about the lore behind Doctor Who on their first date when she’d mentioned she hadn’t seen it. 

“Not here, silly girl. The bedroom,” He whispered. 

He guided her down the dark hallway as though he were escorting the most priceless treasure known to man to his bed, and in his eyes, he was. His hand stayed steady on her hip as she swayed lightly, her body pressed into his side as he opened the door with shaky hands. Any confidence Spencer had managed to muster throughout the night vanished as they crossed the threshold into his bedroom, his teeth gnawing at his lower lip gently as his courage began to crack. 

In an almost startling display of being seen, something Spencer had never experienced before, Y/N looped her arms around his neck and tugged him into a kiss that simultaneously stole the breath from his lungs and filled him with the air he needed to breathe again, effectively calming his nerves.

“It’s okay,” She reassured him against his lips. “It’s just me.” 

She walked them backward until the backs of her knees pressed into his cool comforter, taking over where Spencer so willingly handed her the reigns while he regained his momentum. She sat on the edge of his bed, her hands pressed into his hips to keep him from following after her. Her eyes met his, the moonlight streaming through his bedroom window illuminating her as though she were a vision, a figment of his imagination that he’d conjured up in the dead of night, ready to haunt his every waking moment once he inevitably woke up to an empty bed. She was too good to be true. 

Spencer’s hands fell to rest on her shoulders, just to give himself proof that Y/N was real and that he hadn’t dreamed her up or somehow followed in his mother’s footsteps and succumbed to early onset schizophrenia. 

She was real and she was here, eye level with the tent in his boxers and naked as the day she was born, her warm breath fanning across the smattering of hair trailing down from his belly button to below his underwear. His muscles tensed and twitched as she smirked up at him, pressing a tender kiss to the head of his cock through the thin fabric. His entire body flinched from that one touch, his brows furrowing together as he hissed quietly. 

“N-not that I wouldn’t love to feel your mouth on me—“ Spencer’s pitch raised as her hands found the elastic of his waistband, pulling his boxers down his legs. “But I… I won’t last if you do.” 

The fondness in her eyes quelled any humiliation he felt from having uttered those words. 

Placing a kiss to his hip, she nodded in understanding before shuffling backwards to lay in the middle of his bed, with him kneeling onto the mattress after her. The sight of her— stretched out and languid and looking at him as if she wanted to ravage him— had him sending up a silent ‘thank you’ to whatever in the universe had deemed him worthy enough of having this divine of a woman in his life. 

As Spencer reaches for his nightstand to grab a condom, Y/N stammers, grabbing his attention. He watches for a moment as she flounders over her words, his brow furrowing in concern at her sudden diffidence. 

“Are you sure you still want to do this?”

“I’m on birth control if you want to skip the condom!” 

Spencer inhales sharply at the same time she smiles sheepishly up at him, her blurted words almost making him finish before they’d even started. He holds her gaze, tracing her irises for any hint of hesitancy. When he finds none, he nods once, swallowing hard. 

“I— uh. Um...” 

It was rare that Spencer Reid was rendered speechless, but Y/N had managed to do it with just eleven words. He clears his throat, trying again. 

“Yes. Yes, I would like to skip the condom. Only if you’re absolutely sure that’s what you want.” 

“Yes. It is. I pinky promise.” 

Y/N holds up her pinky for him, the sight so endearing he can practically feel his heart melt away, dripping in a sticky mess inside him. He just grins, linking his pinky with hers before he moves to settle over her once more. 

Her fingers tangle themselves in his hair as his elbows dig into the mattress beside her ribs. The flushed head of his cock bumps against her clit as he reaches down to line himself up at her entrance, a small whine leaving her lips at the sensation. He repeats the action, dizzy from the sound of her soft noises. She was still soaked from their time on the couch, a small feeling of pride welling in Spencer’s chest at the knowledge that not only did he make her cum, but he’d kept her wet while they made it here. 

His lips meet hers in a searing kiss, the both of them quivering with anticipation at giving themselves so intimately to someone for the first time. He was happy it was her. And she was happy it was him. 

Spencer couldn’t remember a time where his mind had ever been quiet. All he knew was incessant thoughts and worries, unable to put a halt to the chaos jumbling around his brain. But as he pressed forward and sunk into Y/N for the first time, his entire mind went blank. White static crowded the spaces where various facts and tidbits of information had been stored, the only thing he was able to focus on now being the sheer ecstasy coursing through his body from being inside of her. 

His mouth hung open as his eyes rolled back into his head, his hips stilling as they pressed flush against hers. She mirrored his response, squeaking out an “oh!” as her walls fluttered around the intrusion instinctively. He throbbed in response, his head dropping to rest in the crook of her neck, unable to stop the pitiful whimper that escaped from behind clenched teeth. 

She was so tight. So wet. So warm. 

Sparks of pleasure zinged up and down his spine as he remained still, waiting patiently for Y/N to adjust to both his size and to the feeling of being filled for the first time in general. He’d wait as long as she needed him to. All he wanted was for her to feel good. To enjoy this as much as he was. 

He was a humble man, truly. But even he wasn’t too shy to admit he’d been gifted with a size that was bigger than average. Not necessarily just in length, falling just shy of seven inches, but in girth as well.  

Spencer peppered soft kisses up and down her flushed skin, feeling her rapid pulse beneath his lips. He was sure she could feel his own heartbeat pounding against his ribs from where their bare chests were pressed together. Her nipples were taut, pressing into his skin enticingly. He wanted to touch them. Taste them. But he’d wait until she was ready. He didn’t want to overwhelm her. 

At her gentle nod, Spencer lifted his head to press his forehead against hers, their lips brushing together as he pulls his hips back. The sensation of her grip tightening in his hair as he pushed forward does more to him than he’d care to admit, but he still lets her hear just how affected he is by her. With a shaky moan, Spencer repeats the motion, easing out of her before gently rocking back into her. He keeps this up for a few minutes, her sharp breaths dissolving into muted moans of her own. 

“You can— you can move faster if y-you want.” 

Spencer’s eyes flutter shut at her words, and he’s pressing a fervent kiss to her lips before he begins to really move. The sound of skin smacking together begins to fill the air as he ruts his hips into hers, his walls bearing witness to every pleasured noise that spills between them. His pace is frenzied, his rhythm stuttered, but it feels so good that neither of them really care. 

Y/N’s nails roamed his body now, alternating between dragging harsh lines into the planes of his back and burying into his shoulders to leave little tender half moons in their wake. Spencer yearned to pull every single noise that he could from her throat, planting his hands beside her head and hefting himself up for better leverage before his lips wrapped around her right nipple. He sucks harshly at the pert bud, reveling in the desperate whimper it causes. 

Spencer grunts when she clenches around him, letting his mouth glide over to her neglected breast, his hips hammering into hers now as she cries out his name over and over. He was close… so, so close. But he needed to make her cum one more time before he’d allow himself to. He needed to know what it felt like for her to fall apart around his cock. With every ounce of willpower he had, Spencer slows his hips to a stop inside of her. 

Y/N whined her discontent at his sudden pause, her eyes opening to blink hazily up at him. “Why’d you… why’d you stop?” She panted, her fingers finding and twisting her own nipples as if she couldn’t help but to touch herself. 

Spencer muffled a curse at the sight, sitting back on his haunches as he stared down at the woman beneath him with reverence. 

“Flip onto your stomach for me, angel.”

She does as instructed, wiggling her hips coyly as Spencer grabs a pillow from the head of the bed and stuffs it underneath her hips to prop her up better, ensuring she’d be comfortable. Once she’s settled on her front, Spencer wasted no time in pressing himself back into her, both of them releasing a moan so loud he’s surprised the walls don’t shake. Thank God he didn’t have neighbors right now. 

He eased himself down so his chest is pressed to her back, lavishing her neck and shoulder in open mouthed kisses while his hips drilled into her. This angle was deeper, allowing him to plow directly into her g-spot as she writhed and begged incoherently beneath him. He laced his left hand with hers, shoving them into his mattress. His other hand stuffed itself between the pillow and her wriggling body until the pads of his fingers found her clit, his breath coming out in sharp pants into her ear. 

Y/N felt delirious with pleasure, bucking her hips back in a feeble attempt to meet his. He began whispering into her ear about how good she felt around him, thanking her for allowing him to fuck her, praising her for taking him so well… 

His words paired with his fingers circling her clit have her second orgasm ripping through her body with so much ferocity that tears begin to fall down her cheeks, her eyes squeezing shut and her hand clutching his so tightly her knuckles whitened as she wailed into a pillow, gushing around him. 

Spencer let out his own guttural moan at the feeling, spilling into her with a shout as he planted his head between her shoulder blades, his hips weakly thrusting into her as they rode out their climaxes. 

He held her until her tremors stopped. He kissed her forehead before he darted off to the bathroom to get a warm rag to clean her with. He thanked her in soft whispers as her eyes began to drift shut before he’d even finished cleaning his mess between her thighs. 

And he knew, watching the gorgeous woman before him sleep so soundly in his bed after they’d just defiled each other’s innocence, that he was looking at his future wife. 

Will your lover caress you the way that I did? Will you notice my charm if he slips up one bit? 

The air was thick with tension as Y/N stared at Ben, her chest heaving and eyes watering at the hurt look on his face. Spencer watched from the corner, his concern for his wife outweighing the jealousy he had previously felt when he watched the couple slip into her— though he still selfishly thought of it as their— bed. Y/N had been dating Ben for three months now. That made for three months that Spencer ached so heavily he’d sometimes wish he could fade back into nothingness if it meant he didn’t have to watch the love of his life with another man. 

The furthest Ben and Y/N had gone physically was a few pecks here and there, with Y/N always being the one to draw away and cut the kisses short. Ben had played the nice guy act, reassuring her that he understood her hesitance and that he’d be okay doing whatever she was comfortable with. Spencer despised him. He could see right through Ben’s facade, and if he could do more than nudge a door open, he’d make that hatred known. But he couldn’t. 

Spencer watched on with furrowed brows as Y/N reached a shaky hand over and turned the lamp on her nightstand on, illuminating the dark room in a soft glow that contrasted with the dark energy that began to cloud the small space. Spencer could see it all on Ben’s face: hurt, betrayal, anger. He could see the fear, guilt, and shame on Y/N’s. 

This was the first night Y/N had tried to push past her discomfort so that she could offer Ben more than just false promises of physical intimacy. It started slow, with soft kisses that dissolved into hungrier ones as they laid together in the dark. But the second Ben went to roll on top of her, sliding a hand down her body to pull her hips against his, she panicked. Her body jolted, and her hands had shot out instinctively to shove him off of her, leaving them where they were now in some sort of silent standoff. 

Spencer knew as soon as it had happened just why it did. She had thought of him. His guilt overruled the smug pleasure he’d felt as he watched it unfold. As painful as it had been watching Y/N move on with her life, all he ultimately wanted was for her to be happy. Spencer had been barely thirty-five when he passed, and she had only been thirty. That left almost an entire lifetime ahead for her, and even though he so desperately wanted to have lived that lifetime with her, he had to accept that that wasn’t what fate had in store for them. 

“I-I’m sorry-”

“What the fuck is your problem?” 

Spencer’s jaw tightened at the same time Y/N’s dropped. 

“Excuse me?” Y/N leveled Ben with a narrowed glare, rage flashing in her eyes in place of the shame that had just been there. 

“I get that you have a dead husband. I’ve tried to be patient with you. But fuck! It's been six years, Y/N. It’s time for you to move on,” Ben seethes, his face reddening with a mixture of embarrassment and anger. “I can’t even touch you without you flinging me off of you!” 

It’s as though Y/N is the exact physical embodiment of Spencer’s own emotions, physically reacting in the way that he can’t. She was out of the bed before Spencer could even blink, marching over to the bedroom door and yanking it open. Ben watches in bewilderment, his mind clearly not catching up with what was happening. 

“Get out of my fucking house.” 

Y/N’s voice is cold as she stares menacingly at Ben. When he doesn’t move, she speaks again, her voice louder. “Get out of my fucking house, Ben!” 

Ben stammers, standing from the bed and attempting to plead his case. “Babe, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that, I just-”

“I don’t care. Get out of my house,” Y/N repeats herself, cutting off his pathetic excuses. 

Spencer smirks proudly from beside her.

 That’s his girl. 

Ben sighs, hanging his head and scrubbing his hands frustratedly across his face. 

“If you kick me out over some guy that’s been dead for six years, then we’re over. For good.” 

Spencer cackles at Ben’s proposition, though it can’t be heard by either party in the room. That was his attempt at fixing things? Seriously? Good riddance. He’d drag the guy out of there himself if he could. 

“If I haven’t made myself clear, we’re already over. No one talks about my husband like that. Now get out before I call the police and have you escorted off of my property.” 

It doesn’t take long after that for Ben to tuck his tail and leave, slamming the front door on his way out. Y/N’s steam runs out the second his car pulls out of her driveway, tears streaming down her face as she curls up on her couch. 

Spencer’s own chest twinges uncomfortably as he sits beside her, stroking her hair despite her inability to actually receive the comfort. He didn’t know what hurt more; watching his beautiful, broken girl sob and not being able to stop her tears, or being the cause of the tears himself. He had to do something, anything to let her know he was still there and that he still loved her beyond death. 

The same time Spencer stands is the same time Y/N’s tears pause, a hiccup rocking her frame before she glances up. 

“Spence?” Y/N calls softly. Spencer’s heart would have stopped right there had he not already been dead.

Spencer turns slowly from his place at the end of the couch, his eyes wide and hopeful as he responds. “Yes, angel?” 

His hope fades as he realizes she isn’t looking at him, rather her eyes are just darting around the room. 

“Spencer I… I know it’s been awhile since I’ve talked to you. And for that, I’m so sorry,” Y/N starts, her voice cracking. “I don’t know if you can even hear me. Or if you ever could. But I miss you. I miss you in my bones. I just… you were— are my everything.” 

The lump in her throat grows as the tears begin to stream down her face again. Spencer’s own eyes sting with tears that she’ll never see drip down his face. He swallows hard, making his way over to their— yes, their— bookshelf. 

“I’d give anything to have you back in my arms… I should have begged you to leave the BAU and just teach full-time if it meant I could still have you here, safe and at home. It’s not even a home without you.” 

Y/N sobs freely now, tucking her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them before she buries her head into them. 

Every ounce of grief, guilt, sadness, and anger from what his death has done to his precious girl fuels Spencer to do something he deemed impossible: he yanks the leatherbound notebook holding their vows inside of it off of the bookshelf, sending it tumbling to the ground in a desperate attempt to show her that he’s still there and that he still loves her. 

The noise causes a yelp to slip from Y/N’s lips, her head jerking up as the book hits the hardwood floor with a loud thump. It had fallen open exactly to where Spencer wanted it to: the page starting his vows to her.  Y/N crawls from the couch to the book, her trembling hands lifting the journal so that she can read the words her husband wrote to her ten years ago. With a deep exhale, she sits cross-legged on the hardwood floor, reading Spencer’s chicken scratch he called handwriting with a heavy heart. And for the first time since his casket closed, she feels a sense of peace wash over her. She was going to be okay, despite it all, because he was hers just as much as she was his.

Continued A/N: Ahh!! Ghost!Spencer my beloved. :') JUST TO CLARIFY: I am not a JJ hater!! It just fit better for the story to have her be the one this all happened for. I hope you guys enjoyed reading this fic just as much as I enjoyed writing it. I look forward to sharing more in the future with you as my blog grows <3

K <3

[swiftiethatlovesf1]

Familiar face

Heyy guys, I hope you enjoy this Franco one-shot, if you want to read more stories of mine here's my masterlist.

What happens when you can't get your ex out of your head, even worse what happens when you stumble into him at the club

It feels like the universe has a cruel sense of humor. Ever since Franco's move to F1, his face has become impossible to escape. It’s there on billboards, interviews, and splashed across social media feeds. The once subtle ache of his absence has sharpened into a dull, constant thrum of irritation. It’s maddening—how someone who once belonged to your past can suddenly become omnipresent, invading your carefully constructed world.

Tonight, you’re out with your friends, the music pounding in rhythm with your heartbeat as you try to lose yourself in the pulsing lights and laughter. The topic turns to Franco, as it so often does these days. “Did you know he’s back in town?” someone says, their eyes lighting up with gossip. “Spending time with his family. He’s probably coming here tonight.”

Your stomach clenches, a mix of annoyance and something more insidious. You hate that he still has this effect on you, that his name alone can send a rush of memories through your mind—the good ones, the tangled limbs and shared laughter; the bad ones, sharp words and the silence that followed. You roll your eyes and laugh it off, masking the way your pulse has quickened.

But as the night deepens and the club grows wilder, you find yourself scanning the crowd more often. Just in case. You catch a glimpse of familiar hazel eyes from across the room, and your breath stutters. He’s here. And he’s looking right at you, that smirk that once made your heart race now taunting you from a distance.

He makes his way over, effortlessly weaving through the crowd, and your friends exchange knowing glances before fading into the sea of dancers, leaving you alone with him. “Didn’t think I’d see you here,” he says, his voice deep and familiar, edged with something teasing.

“I could say the same, Franco,” you respond, your tone laced with sarcasm. You want to play it cool, but the heat in his gaze is disarming, pulling you back into a shared past neither of you has fully let go of.

“Aún tan guapa como siempre,” he says, his eyes sweeping over you with that infuriatingly charming smile. “¿Sabías que he estado pensando en ti?”

Still as beautiful as ever. Did you know I've been thinking about you?

“Oh, I’m sure you’ve been too busy with your new glamorous life to think about anything else,” you shoot back, trying to ignore the warmth creeping up your neck.

“Nunca tan ocupado como para olvidarme de ti,” he counters, stepping closer so you can smell the familiar hint of his cologne. His voice drops, a playful challenge sparking in his eyes. “Dime, ¿todavía piensas en nosotros?”

Never too busy to forget about you. Tell me, do you still think about us?

Your heart hammers in your chest as you try to keep your composure. “No seas tan presumido, Franco,” you reply, forcing a laugh. “You’re not that unforgettable.”

Don't be so arrogant, Franco.

He chuckles, the sound low and knowing. “Ay, ¿así que no me extrañas ni un poquito?” His fingers lightly brush your arm, sending a shiver down your spine.

So you don't even miss me a little bit?

“I wouldn’t give you the satisfaction,” you say, but your voice lacks conviction. The space between you feels charged, every shared look and teasing smile fanning the flame of old memories.

“Mentira,” he whispers, leaning in so only you can hear. “Siempre fuiste mala para mentir.”

Lie, you've always been a bad liar

You roll your eyes, but there’s no hiding the small smile that tugs at your lips. “You think you know everything, don’t you?”

“De ti, sí,” he replies, his eyes searching yours. “Por ejemplo, sé que tu corazón está latiendo rápido ahora mismo.”

Of you I do, for instance, I know your heart is beating faster right now

“Confident, aren’t you?” You arch an eyebrow, trying to regain the upper hand, but the way his gaze holds yours makes it difficult.

“Sólo cuando estoy contigo,” he admits, his tone softening, laced with sincerity. “Desde que me fui, no ha pasado un día en que no pensara en ti.”

Only when I'm with you. Since I left there hasn't been a single day that I haven't thought of you

The weight of his words makes your breath catch, the noise of the club fading into a dull roar. His eyes search yours for the briefest second before he closes the distance, his lips crashing into yours with a fierce intensity that steals the air from your lungs.

The kiss is searing, demanding, as if making up for all the lost time, the missed moments, and the longing that never quite left either of you. His hands find your waist, pulling you closer until there’s no space left between your bodies, the heat radiating off him igniting a fire that spreads through you. Your fingers slide up to tangle in his hair, tugging just enough to draw a low growl from him. The world around you blurs and spins, but you don’t care—not when he kisses you like this, as if he’s afraid to ever let go again.

In this moment, nothing else matters—not the fame, the distance, or the questions that will come later. It’s just the two of you, reclaiming everything unsaid in a way that words never could.

[kurokawaia]

THERE GOES MY BABY~ 彡 Feitan Portor

WC; 500+ | !MDNI! | TW/CW : x fem!reader

REQUEST :: HIIIII! I was wondering if you could write a Feitan x reader where every time he leaves for to long to do a mission or something she becomes that usher meme where he’s sliding in the floor with the song there goes my baby it doesn’t have to be long or anything I just want something funny I really like your work I hope you have a good day (btw idk if a specified it a lot but if you could can you make the reader fem) ❤️- ANON

m.list | hxh m.list

Every time Feitan leaves on a mission, you tell yourself, "This time, I am going to be normal." And every time, without failure, you manage to prove yourself completely wrong. You have always greeted him with the same gesture ever since you saw that one Usher clip. You have decided to do this for a while now; this is your first shot.

Feitan has been gone for a couple of days and he should be back soon, today hopefully. YOu'll be able to detect his presence before he enters your shared apartment. One of your favourite things about you and Feitan's relationship is that you're the sunshine and he's the big grump, and he also doesn't know what you're going to do next.

You go crazy when Fei isn't home for too long, you need him in more ways than one, in bed and just for the daily comforts, and you love snuggling up to him (he says he hates it but he's effectively lying). 

There goes my baby You don't know how, good, it Feels to call you my girl

You're on the verge of slamming your head onto the coffee table, you so desperately wanted the song out of your head but you only. And you wouldn't, not until you get to slide on the floor to your man. 

Go ahead and play the tune in your head; it's always that song. "There goes my baby… Oooooh, girl, look at you…" You sing out as you fall to your knees, sliding on the waxed floor like some movie star in a music video, arms outstretched as you could feel seitan playing and unlocking the lock at the door.  And then on cue, the door opens. Feitan stands there, wrapped in his dark cloak, one eyebrow arched higher than it has ever been. For a moment, he's silent, his brain processing the utter sight of it all, his hard assassin's mind almost short-circuiting at the absurdity. "You.... are... so... strange," he finally mutters, his lips twitching as if in a fight against a smirk. You freeze, looking up from his torso, your eyes meeting with his own, your chin placed up against his cloak, a smile wide on your lips. Your cheeks are flushed pink. God, you missed him so much. 

"Took you long enough to realise, Fei," you tease while hugging him tighter.

He shakes his head, "I always known," he scoffs, "You make it obvious now."

Your jaw drops agasint him as you loosen your hold around his torso. "You love me!" you pout.\

"That I do," he says quietly with a sigh because he knows that no matter how odd you are he won't ever leave you because he does love you 🥺

Do not copy, steal, modify, etc. Relogs and like are appreciated.

m.list | hxh m.list

[the-froschamethyst4]

Time Of Death: Dawn

𖤐Pairing: Vampire! Alex x Werewolf! F! Reader

𖤐Pronouns: She/Her

𖤐Warnings: Smut, fluff, language, fake marriage, kissing/making out, eating out, P in V, enemies to lovers, Victorian Era, sexism,

𖤐Summary: Vampire Alex Keller and his so-called wife Y/n L/n-Keller had to be perfect but they're not. Alex is the future of Vampires and Y/n was the future for her wolf kind, but this so-called marriage was to keep the peace between both worlds of Vampires and Werewolves.

————

————

The sun peaked through the curtains leaking into the bedroom shared between Alex and his wife Y/n. Y/n every night when going to bed would open the curtains just slightly for the sun to come in to let the sun try to burn Alex.

But before the sun could reach him. Alex would use his powers to shut them.

"Asshole," Y/n says, whipping her head around to look at her husband who was just bring his hand down.

"Coming from the woman who tries to kill me every morning."

"Not like you do the same," she says, kicking the covers off her body and grabs a shirt off the floor and puts it on. Y/n slept naked because she gets hot at night, while Alex sleeps pajama pants and a shirt.

The two had a agreement to do a fake wedding, mainly to keep the peace between Vampires and Werewolves, they were both the future them all, Alex going to be King of Vampires and Y/n going to be an Alpha. But they could not stand one another.

In public people saw them as two lovely couple who didn't let their differences stop them, but behind close doors, they hated one another, trying to kill one another.

Why kill each other, because when one dies the other gets their fortune.

Y/n stood on the balcony looking down at the people, Alex hissed when seeing the light seep in just a little bit.

"Close the door, you damn woman."

"Make me," she says, not even looking at him instead at the boy passing flowers out to couples on the street. She leans on her hand as she watches him pass them out, she loved seeing him, he was always so kind, gentle, and soft spoken, something about him that Alex wasn't.

"Him again?" Alex came out with his cloak over his head. "You know damn well if they see an affair going around-"

"They'll hang me, I know, drive a sliver nail through my heart, I get it, I can still dream, can't I?"

"No, you cannot, you are married to me-"

"Fake married, mind you," she says. She walks away from him. "I'm going to the market...care to come?" She felt like she was going to regret that answer.

"I would," he says with a smirk.

They both get ready dressed in their usual attire to match everyone else. They walked arms linked trying to look like a 'normal' couple. Y/n carried a small lace parasol over her shoulder, and Alex made sure his top hat covered his face.

"You could have stayed home," Y/n mumbles.

"And what let you have your way with the flower boy?"

"I would never, who do you think I am?" She teased.

"You are a woman, that I don't trust," his hand gripped her wrist.

"Mr. and Mrs. Keller what a lovely surprise," they stopped and looked at the person coming towards them.

"Mr. Wilson, how long has it been?" Alex jokes.

"Only a few days," Mr. Wilson laughs with Alex. Mr. Wilson didn't really like Y/n, refuse to speak to her, acknowledge her, or even look at her to even ask how she was doing. He acknowledged Alex like they've been best friends for years.

They haven't. Alex just can't stand the man, but doesn't know how to to tell Mr. Wilson to leave them alone.

"I'll be at the bread vendor," Y/n says, looking up at Alex dismissing herself from the men's conversation.

"Didn't think she'd ever leave," Mr. Wilson says, hiking up his pants.

"Easy there, Mr. Wilson. That's my wife remember that," Alex warns.

"Ah yes I know, but I wanted to talk to you. I'm opening up a brothel and I was wondering if you'd like to come, drink, hang out, get the good ol' whistle wet. I know you and that...whore probably don't do it often, I mean if she was my wife, I'd never be home, I'd be out," he chuckles, but Alex didn't, Alex wanted to get away from this creep.

"Haha," Alex sarcastically laughs. "With respect, my wife and I do quite often, and I would like it if you don't EVER call my dick a whistle ever again-also...do leave my wife and I alone," Alex walks away from the fat man.

He sees Y/n looking at the bread and paying the vendor some money for the loaf she picked up, she turns to see Alex waiting for her, she walks to him looking down and linked her arm with his.

"I heard everything you know."

"I figured, you and those ears," he says, he moves a piece of her hair behind her ears. She slightly winched and pushed his hand away. Almost letting him know 'don't touch me.'

"You could've gone-"

"What did I say about them catching us have an affair?"

"Only me, they don't care what you do, you're a man, I'm a woman, people care more what I do versus you."

"Yeah but if they find out what we are, they'll kill both of us no matter what," he says.

"I need some fruit, I'll be back," she says, walking away. Alex stood back letting her shop, but he went to the boy passing out flowers.

"Good day, sir, care for some flowers?"

"Do you have orchids?" Alex asks.

"Orchids?" He looks around. "Ah! I do, my last one," he says, handing them to Alex.

"How much?"

"5 pens," Alex gave the boy the money and heads back to find Y/n she was also paying, once she turned to see Alex with the flowers in his hands.

"Orchids?" She smiles, while taking them from him and smelling them, Alex took the basket she carried and let her carry the flowers, showing them off to the other women.

"Your favorite," he says.

"Thanks...but why?"

"You seem down today...I don't know why, but...I want you to be happy today," he says.

"What's the catch?"

"No catch," he says. "Just you."

"What's your game, Alex Keller?" She warns taking her arm out of his.

"No game..." She still looked at him confused. "You just haven't received flowers from me in such a long time, so I figured I'd give you some," he says.

She stares at the flowers and hides her smile from Alex, they walked back to their shared mansion, she walks to the kitchen and pulled out a vase, filling it with water and sticking the orchids into the water.

She then places the vase into the window above the sink, that's where the most sunlight comes from, so it only fitted to place it there.

She walks up to her bedroom where she saw Alex remove his clothes. He sits on his side of the bed and looks at the sun peeking through the curtains. He then feels eyes on him and looks at Y/n who was removing her dress.

"I need a bath..." she stops in front of the bathroom door. "...C-Care to join?" She asks, looking at him over her shoulder.

"You want me to join you in the bath?" He asks.

"Sure-but you don't have to-"

"I'll join," he says.

-------------------

Alex had watched Y/n as she washed her body, he watched as her skin had water dripping off her body. She looks like a Goddess. Alex looks at her bare back as she stood up, some scars on her back some freckles here and there, he stood up behind her moving behind her and kissing her neck.

"Alex!" She squeals. She tries to push off him but his arms wrapped around her waist to hold her against his body. "Hey, s-stop," she says.

"Y/n...please," he stops and looks up at her, his face was a bit red and he was slightly giving her a pouty face.

She turns to him and kisses his forehead, Alex stood up while also picking her up, her legs wrap around his waist, while she still placed kisses on his forehead and then his lips. Alex steps out of the bath and sets her on the counter and kissed her neck and then her chest.

Y/n let's out a soft moan, as Alex's kisses started to trail down, going from her chest down to her stomach and then just above her pelvis. He slightly pushes her legs open getting a small glimpse of her wet pussy.

He smirks while he was on his knees kissing her inner thighs. It was a while since her and Alex have done it, Alex would be busy and Y/n would be out or handling business within her community. This is the only time were they both can be with each other.

"Take it slow." She says.

"Of course," he says, licking his lips and kissing her wet clit, his tongue going between her wet folds, the sound of sucking and wet noises filled the bathroom.

He started eating her like she was his last meal, Y/n then squeezed her thighs around his head, he groans as he loved the feeling of her plush thighs around his head. He looks up at her seeing her leaning back on her elbows.

"F-Fuck," she moans, her hand going to his hair, slightly pulling and pushing him to make his tongue go deeper inside of her.

"You taste so sweet," he mumbles against her folds. Alex then stood up between her legs, aligning himself up at her entrance. "I'll be gentle," he says, close to her ear and kissing her shell of her ear.

Alex starts moving slowly, slowly grinding as well, her legs were resting on his waist, and her palms resting on the sink counter, her head back as she looks down at her stomach slightly bulging because of his dick.

"Fuck, Alex," she looks up at him, her arms going around his neck and kissed his lips, he starts moving a bit fast.

Alex smirks into the kiss, he picks her up and moves out of the bathroom, he placed her on the edge of the bed, her legs up and rested on both of his shoulders, he starts going a bit fast, balls slapping on her ass.

Her hands go from gripping the sheets to resting on his lower stomach, touching his toned chest and stomach feeling the ripples of his 6-pack under her fingers and palms.

"Ah!" She moans when feeling herself about to cum, she looks up at Alex almost telling him she was close. Alex smirks and chuckles at her.

"Come on, wolfie."

"D-Don't call me t-that," she says with a bit of a growl.

""Awww~ don't like my teasing?" He says, bending down close to her head.

"Don't you k-know not to tease a-a dog?"

"A dog?"

"Shut it," she says as he chuckles at her again.

Y/n puts her head back as Alex gave her one last thrust before she ends up coming on his dick. He pulls out and watched as cum leak from her lower half, he chuckles and bends down to use his fingers to kind of shove it back into her.

"AH Alex! W-What are you d-doing?" She asks.

"I don't want anything spilling from you," he says, now just placing his fingers inside of her.

She looked embarrassed, grabbing a pillow and hiding her red face behind it. Alex smirks and loved seeing her embarrassed.

-------------------

Alex sat on his bed, Y/n was next to him asleep, he looks down at her sleeping naked figure, her face buried into her pillow and the blanket just resting on her waist. Alex stood up and walks to the window making sure they were shut. He heads back and pulls Y/n close to his chest, he kissed her forehead and rubbed her waist.

"Alex?"

"Hm?"

"...When we both become King of Vampires and Alpha of Werewolves...will we have to leave each other?"

"I don't know, baby," he says.

"I don't want to leave," she says.

"I know...I-I don't either," Alex said, holding her close, kissing her forehead, and then kissing her lips.

------------

The next morning Y/n woke up first, the room showed no signs of light in the bedroom to hurt Alex, she looks down at Alex, touching his chest and moving her hand down to his stomach, her hand then slowly moves down to the blanket.

"Hey now...what do you think you're doing?" He says.

"Oh nothing," she says with a giggle, she leans down and kissed his lips. The kiss soon became something heavy, his tongue slipped into her mouth, she moans when she was pushed onto her back, her arms wrapped around his neck and his hands touched her soft thighs.

"Fuck, your lips...they taste so...so good, did you put something on?" He asks.

"I put some ChapStick on before I went to bed," she says.

"Taste good," Alex says, hiking her up to sit on his lap. Their bare bodies against each other, Alex was always so cold and Y/n was also so hot but with them two against each other it was a perfect warmth.

"I love your body," he says.

"Perv-"

"For what?" He chuckles. "I'm allowed to say I love your body."

"Shut up," she snuggles closer to his body and they both landed on their shared bed.

They are suppose to hate each other, why are they acting like this? Are they finally loving each other like a husband and wife are suppose to? Y/n looks up at Alex and pushed him on his back.

"What are you doing?" He asked as his hands rested on her ass now.

"Nothing just looking at my husband."

"Husband huh? When's the last time you've ever called me that?"

"Now," she says.

"You're being a tease."

"And you aren't?"

"When did I tease you?"

"Literally last night," she says, crossing her arms.

"Guess wife's are always right." She just chuckles at him and kissed his lips.

[quaranmine]

Re: your 2000 word fic

Jimmys relationship to the watchers is so interesting, especially compared to Martyn’s, because they’re in the same realm of thought with different means of approach (doubly if Martyn wasn’t born into the cult like Jimmy was).

Martyn’s realm of thought: God is real and hates me and I hate it back

Jimmy: God is real and everyone seems to hate that, and I’m not sure if I do

And like. Jimmy as a character is so [synonym of interesting] because he’s sort of a sheep. He has his own personality and opinions of course, but they are largely formed off of others and how they perceive him. Jimmy works well in group situations, but when he has to be alone, he flounders. So of COURSE when left in a high stress environment and isolated because of his red life, he’s gonna go back and try to find comfort in the gods that had a community. And Martyn, in turn, is going to see this and go “what the fuck are you doing, this isn’t good, the watchers are evil remember” to which Jimmy goes “they’re the only thing that loved me at face value”

Normal about this excited to see where this goes 👍

oh this ask is making me EXCITED again!

So, we're pretty close to the same page on this. Also this story is super duper AU to Evo. I'm keeping the same major story beats of things like 1) Martyn attempting to leave 2) the Listeners contacting them 3) the dragon fight & all of that 4) Jimmy being given a mission from the Listeners and 5) the Evolutionists leaving with the help of the Listeners. But the setting itself is very altered and the day-to-day life of the series is way different. (I.e. cult-commune.) It also won't be totally compliant with Martyn's eyesandears life series AU, just in the sense that I don't care enough to meticulously adhere to all the details. It'll just be kind of loosely influenced by all of the above.

You've also hit the same idea as me on Martyn not (fully) being raised in it. For what I wrote last night, Martyn was brought in to Evo with his family around age 12 ish, and allowed to continue outside education (Jimmy is very very homeschooled.) This basically means Martyn was old enough when introduced to the Watchers to not ever really be a true believer, and also a bit of a bad influence on Jimmy. Well, a good influence in this case. So Martyn definitely grows quite bitter about it as he gets older.

And in this case, when I say "true believer" I mostly mean that they believe in worshipping the Watchers and that they're a force for good. There isn't really much of a "are they real" for any of the Evolutionists because they demonstratively are. Now, for Life Series members who are not former Evolutionists, they may not realize Watchers exist at all. And for later in life, the Evolutionists may question if the Watchers are truthful in just how god-like they really are.

Anyway. Yeah Martyn's very much like "God is real and hates me and I hate it back."

Jimmy, at least in the backstory part I've written, is a lot more like "God is real and hates me because I'm a bad person, and I hate myself because I can't figure out how to be a good one." In this case, he feels super trapped in his incredibly sheltered life and questions a lot of stuff. But he knows he shouldn't question this. Doubting the Watchers is wrong. So he wants to be good. But he can't shake all of his, like, existential anxiety about being trapped. And then he hates himself more for that. He's kind of killing himself from the inside out with cognitive dissonance. He's finding it harder and harder every day to believe but he thinks that's his own personal shortcoming.

Martyn has kind of arrived at a "I need out because the Watchers suck." He has more anger about the situation and less self-hatred. Jimmy is not there yet and is instead more like "the Watchers are right and good and I'm the problem."

(This is also pretty in line with your comment of Jimmy being kind of a sheep--he is struggling much more than some of other former Evolutionists to put aside how he was raised.) (I haven't mentioned Grian much but I think he was also raised in it like Jimmy, but unlike Jimmy he's pretty defiant of the Watchers. Which gets him nothing good in the end.)

It doesn't help that being constantly literally watched is like psychological torture? No wonder the guy's mentally ill. Which I think feeds into the eyesandears concept of Watchers feeding on negative energy. Jimmy's general existential distress is like catnip to them.

And like, he DOES join the Listeners. They DO leave Evo. He does leave, and live normally. But that doesn't mean that he comes out of his choice to turn his back on the Watchers unscathed, and that he doesn't feel guilty. I think the "I'm the problem" mindset leaves him vulnerable to going back to worshipping the Watchers again later. He still carries this deep seated sense that they're right.

So when the Watchers strike back, and he's placed over and over in horrible circumstances like death games, at some point it's all got to snap right?

"they’re the only thing that loved me at face value” - it's completely untrue and exactly the type of thing he still believes. He's the one that left, after all.

[callme-dickmaster]

Basket Case

Ch. Three - Fine

summary: Jonathan returns to school and you answer a call for a ride home cw: this may be v long, afab! reader, minimal use of y/n, bullying, language, Lonnie Byers and his bad parenting author's note: hullo

Tuesday, November 8th, 1983

You stomped into school with the biggest scowl you could muster. You were still angry about the day before. You punched your locker, earning a stinging hand and snatched your books out of your locker.

"Don't! Not today, man," you snapped when Eddie trotted up to your locker. He put his hands up in surrender and back away. He knew when someone was not having it. You huffed, deciding to skip second period to avoid snapping at Carol and sat in the library to draw. It passed faster than you were used to, but that was fine as long as you didn't have to look at the back of Carol's head any more than you had to.

You made your way to the front of the school to try and use the payphone to call Jonathan and tear him a new one for missing so much school.

"Hey, y/n!" you stopped with a sigh. For fuck's sake.

"What?" you sighed, keeping your eyes to the floor. Steve jogged up to you, wearing a stupid all blue outfit. You hated blue.

"Hey, uh...I feel bad...A-about yesterday. But I'm having a party tonight and I was thinking you could come?" Steve sputtered. This boy had clearly never said a genuine apology in his life. "I could come?" you asked slowly.

Steve smiled and nodded, "Yeah! To the party?" he said, sounding unsure now.

You glanced behind him and saw Tommy and Carol not far behind. You gave him a blank stare, "No. Eat dirt."

Steve opened his mouth to speak but no words came out as you walked away. He sighed, putting his hands on his hips. "Fine. Play it that way, Henderson," Steve said. He was bound and determined to get on your good side. Even if he wasn't entirely sure he was ever on it in the first place.

You continued up to the front door of the school and almost completely passed Jonathan himself hanging up posters on the bulletin board.

"Jonathan Byers! Where the hell have you been?!" You grit, hitting his arm with every word. Jonathan flinched away from you, "Okay! Okay! I'm sorry I didn't call! I was looking for Will!" he said, handing you one of the missing posters. You furrowed your eyebrows, scanning the poster. Since when had Will been missing? You just saw him Sunday!

"Will is missing? Wait. What?! How long has he been gone? How did I not notice this? I'm sorry I was so mean with you just then; I had no idea!" you said, putting a hand on his arm. You looked behind Jonathan when you noticed Steve and his friends standing there watching you both. "Do you guys know anything yet?" you asked. Jonathan shook his head with a shrug.

You sighed, turning your focus to glare at Nancy walking up to you and Jonathan as she gripped her bag. "H-hey..." Nancy stuttered. Her gaze flickered from Jonathan to you and back again. "I just...I wanted to say, um...I'm sorry about everything," she said, making sure you knew she was talking to you too.

You, however, didn't care. "Thanks. Bye." You snapped, glaring as harshly as you could at the brunette. Nancy flinched but she couldn't walk away just yet. "Sorry...um, everyone's thinking about you..." she tried, "It sucks," she gave Jonathan a sad smile. You rolled your eyes, grabbing another poster from Jonathan to hang up around town.

"I'm sure he's fine. He's a smart kid," Nancy added, throwing another cautionary glance at you before the bell rang and she had to leave for a test.

"What are you doing now?" you asked.

"I-I'm about to go to my dad's to look for him," Jonathan sighed.

"I'm coming with you. Let's go," you said, pulling your bag up on your shoulder. Jonathan started to protest, but you were already out the door. "Okay then," he sighed. You were standing by his car pulling impatiently on the handle. You drove silently for a while until you couldn't stand the music he was playing anymore. You grabbed the tapes out of his backseat and rifled through them with a scowl.

"Dude, seriously? No Metallica?" you sighed, dropping a Talking Heads tape.

Jonathan chuckled, shaking his head, "No! I told you I like the calmer stuff," he replied.

You rolled your eyes, digging around for some other tape and settled on a mixtape. "Calmer stuff," you scoffed. Jonathan started up the tape which was thankfully one you could bop along to.

Both teens stopped when the first bars of Should I Stay, Or Should I Go? started. It was Will's favorite. You smiled comfortingly at Jonathan and nodded along to the song.

You stared out the window as you neared Lonnie's neighborhood. You sighed, twisting your hair around your finger while Jonathan parked a few houses down from Lonnie's. "Look, stay in the car, okay?" he said, reaching into the back for his bag.

"No way! I can help look for him. Do you think Lonnie is just going to hand him over if he is here?" you asked, staring at him with big eyes. Jonathan sighed, giving in. You climbed out of the car, staying close to Jonathan and hissing at a neighbor who looked her up and down. Jonathan gently pulled you in front of him, glaring back at the boy as you ran up to the door.

He frantically knocked on the door until a woman opened up, obnoxiously chewing her gun. "Can I help you?" she asked rudely.

"Hey. Is Lonnie around?" Jonathan asked, not really looking at her. The lady furrowed her eyebrows, "Yeah, he's out back. What do you want?" she asked.

"To look around," Jonathan said, pushing past her with you in tow. You called Will's name, opening doors and bumping into each other when Lonnie ran up and pushed Jonathan against a wall, getting a yelp from you. Jonathan shoved his father off him, "You've gotten stronger," Lonnie said, punching Jonathan's chest.

You glared daggers at him from the hall, "Jonathan this is Cynthia. Cynthia, this is Jonathan. My oldest," Lonnie said.

"Who is she?" Cynthia snipped, pointing at you. "Oh...that one. Your crazy friend," Lonnie said, "Don't call her that. Her name is y/n, Lonnie. And I'm here for Will," Jonathan said, pushing him back to run out back. Cynthia glanced from the yard to the teenager in her living room and tapped your arm.

"You want a drink or something?" she asked. You stared at her silently. "Okay..." Cynthia trailed, walking away. Jonathan eventually walked back inside, and you left quickly and quietly. Jonathan drove back into town with you sitting quietly beside him.

He drove up to your house, noticing your mom wasn't home. "She's probably out helping look for Will. I'll see you tomorrow," you said before walking inside.

No more than a minute after you walked into the house did the phone ring. "Henderson residence." you sighed. "Uh, h-hey, y/n!"

"Steve?" you frowned, "How did you get my number?" you asked. Steve shrugged on the other end, "Yellow pages." you rubbed your temples.

This guy is going to give me grey hairs.

"Okay, well, throw that page out. I don't really feel like dealing with you and your shitty friends outside of school too," you said, slamming the phone on the wall. There was no reason for King Steve Harrington to call you. Especially to call your home phone when your little brother could answer. He gets picked on enough at the middle school and high schoolers were way more ruthless than twelve-year-olds. Most twelve-year-olds.

You made a late dinner out of the food your mom left and sat in bed to try and get some homework done. A few hours in you heard the phone start ringing again. You sighed, dropping your head back on your shoulders. "Yeah?" you answered, leaned up on the wall.

"Hi! y/n, hey, it's-it's Nancy," Nancy stuttered on the other end. You sighed, letting your head hang.

"Dude, I swear to God, if this is some, like, initiation thing to mess with the weird kid to date the popular guy, don't waste your time. Just go ahead and tell them I cried like a baby, okay?" you said, going to hang up when Nancy hurriedly stopped you.

"No! No! No! It's nothing like that at all! I'm really sorry about the other day, I didn't know what I was supposed to say...I was kinda surprised is all," she mumbled.

You sat quietly for a minute, deciding to hear her out. "Well, I guess it's okay. You didn't do anything. Anyways, what do you want?" you asked, "Um, I'm at this party at Steve's...and Barb left. And I could really use a ride home? Or could I stay at yours? If you don't want to or you can't that's totally fine!" Nancy spluttered, really trying not to disturb Steve upstairs.

You sighed heavily into the receiver, also trying hard to show how much of a bother this was. "I guess... Gimme fifteen minutes," you said and hung up without waiting for an answer. Everyone knew where Steve lived, so you didn't have to ask. You slipped on some shoes and grabbed your keys before making the drive to the Harrington house. Nancy was already outside waiting. She jogged up to the car and hopped in, smiling nervously at the girl driving.

"Hey! Thank you so much! You didn't have to do this," she said. You nodded and drove off while Nancy was buckling in, "I know." Nancy pursed her lips and looked out the window. She listened to the Iron Maiden album playing quietly in the background and glanced at your white-knuckle grip on the steering wheel.

"Um...hey, I'm really sorry about yesterday. I-I should have said something and defended you. I know we're not really friends, but I know you enough to be nice and keep people from treating you like that. I'm really sorry," Nancy said, twiddling her thumbs.

You shrugged, "It's really fine, Nancy. I was just pissed at everyone else, and you were just trying to help...'M sorry too..." you said, pulling into your own driveway. Nancy looked at the house in confusion.

"You can stay here tonight so you don't have to get in trouble with your mom. Just tell her you're here and you lost track of time and forgot to call," you said and got out of the car. Nancy got out and followed you inside, shutting the door softly behind her. You were sitting in your room, making sure Nancy would have enough room to sleep.

"If you don't wanna share a bed that's fine. Couch is out there if you want it," you said, pulling the blankets back and crawling into the fluffy oasis. Nancy shook her head with a small smile, "That's okay! I don't mind..." she said, taking her jacket off. "There's pajamas in the top drawer if you want them," you mumbled, starting to fall asleep. Nancy said "thanks" and changed into an oversized Def Leppard t-shirt and some shorts. She wandered into the kitchen and quickly called home.

Her mom was upset, but happy she was safe and back somewhere "on time" as Nancy used your lie. Nancy turned out the light and climbed into bed. "Night Nance..." you trailed off, "I guess you're alright," you added with a snicker. Nancy smiled, "Goodnight, y/n. Thanks."

<3

[tvuniverse]

Listen i just want to preface this by saying I don't even personally hate Tommy, but that's not really the point i want to make so here goes nothing.

The way a lot of people act as if it's impossible to dislike him because the characters have moved on so so should we, right? and that's the thing right here, as poc we're always being told to move on. We can't express our feelings, we can't hold grudges, we can't complain about issues without making it something more than it is, we always have to just... move on.

I know people are going to say it's just a show, it's not that serious, but the issues it touches on and the way fandom speaks on those issues are.

I've seen a lot of comparisons between Tommy and other mains, how each of them are flawed and have screwed up one way or another, and you're right, but it's still unfair to compare him to them. We've seen each of the main characters experience guilt, or be ashamed of their action, we've seen them apologise, put in the work to actually grow, and they have. There's not enough time in an episode for us to see that for side characters. In this case, Tommy didn't do any of the above and that's normal, he was a plot device to show some very real societal issues, and especially what people of colour/women might go through in the workplace, and once he served his purpose he didn't get much more beyond a few scenes where it seemed like everything was fine between him and chim/hen. It would be more appropriate to compare him to the buckley parents, (who appeared in more or less the same amount of episodes) like if people suddendly started saying no one is allowed to hate them because they got their redemption, their kids more or less forgave them, they more or less tried to be better parents. And yet it's still not enough for a lot of people, because how they treated their children, the shit they've said to them, hits a little too close to home for a lot of people and so no matter what the show says or does, they'll still be mostly hated by the audience, and that's more than okay. But if margaret buckley is your favourite character than by all means be my guest. And listen, i love this show, it's all about hope, and it means everyone gets a redemption arc, as short as it is (sometimes even just a sentence lol), but we won't always be satisfied with these arcs, especially if they don't feel proportional to the hurt the characters may have caused to our mains, so we'll all have different reactions to them.

I swear liking a morally ambiguous/grey character says absolutely nothing about you, but making excuses for them, antagonising people who might dislike them (for good reasons) or acting like suddenly triggers don't exist for people, does say something about you. One of my favourite characters is literally the worst person ever, an actual bigot, but i won't ever write essays about why people are not allowed to dislike him actually because he's my babygirl.. i very much understand why people would.

All of this to say, everyone will have different opinions about Tommy. Some might love him, some will be completely neutral or at worst slightly uncomfortable/bothered by him, and some will straight up hate him, and all of these are fine. Live and let live, love whoever you want to love, and hate whoever you want to hate, but please stop trying to dictate how others should feel, i'm begging. And this really does go both ways.

[running-in-the-dark]

a short list of 'fun' things my mother has done, for the next time I forget what she's really like

the one time she was supposed to pick me up from a friend's house (less than 20 minutes away), my friend and I were a little late getting back to her place because our train was late. I would've been 13 or 14, and I couldn't call my mother because neither of us had money/credit on our phones. when we arrived at my friend's house, her parents told me that my mother had been there and waited a few minutes, but then said she had a toothache so she left. we were maybe 20 minutes late. it was a Friday but we had school every second Saturday, so it was a school night.

I was supposed to go to her friend's wedding with her when I was 11 or 12. she was supposed to pick me up at my dad's place where I lived, and I was alone, so I walked our dog before she was supposed to be there. I was in a hurry, so I forgot my keys, but I thought it was fine because she was supposed to be there any minute. she showed up three hours later. it was winter, there was snow. I think I eventually broke a small part of a window at the back of the house so I could get in because I got really worried about my dog - that was right before she showed up though, so we'd been outside in the snow for hours and it was already getting dark by that point.

her, my brother and I were on the way to a dentist appointment, I think I was maybe 13. she stopped somewhere to run an errand. my brother got out of the car and kept shaking the car really hard the entire time she was gone. he didn't stop when I asked him to and eventually I got upset. when she came back, I told her what he had done and that he wouldn't stop. she told me to be quiet and stop being difficult, I was upset and said that's not fair, she slapped me in the face. my lip was bleeding. we were driving through the village where my dad and I lived, but she refused to stop the car and let me get out. I refused to go to the appointment because my lip and shirt were bloody.

didn't take me to a doctor when I fell on my head and most likely had a concussion

didn't take me to a doctor when I twisted and probably sprained my ankle falling down some stairs and couldn't walk for over a week

once pretended she left me and my brother behind in a small town because we were walking too slowly (we were maybe 3-5 years old) and actually got in the car and drove off (she came back after a few minutes but it still terrified me)

yelled at me when I didn't immediately understand how to knit when she tried to teach me (I was about 6)

made me copy 4 pages of text into the about me section of my friendship/poetry book (that you let your friends write stuff in) because what I wrote wasn't good enough

explained to me that I didn't need to be scared of airplanes because of crashes because those are rare - no, I should be scared of them being kidnapped by terrorists instead (I was 4 or 5)

immediately after that: explained what prostitution is and that it's important so that men don't rape women and children (again, I was like FIVE. the news were on the radio and I didn't know what the word meant so I asked.)

one time my art teacher told her at a parents evening that she (my mother) was just jealous of me because I was young and so different from her and that's why she treated me that way and didn't like me. she thought that was hilarious and immediately told me about it when she came home. she just found it sooo funny and ridiculous. I'm still not sure if she made it up, but tbh both options (it really happened or she made it up) would be weird as hell.

[piplupod]

are you the most annoying person in the world or do you just need to eat something: a memoir by me

[pyrriax]

ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏

[skullzy20]

I am not exaggerating when I say I live with one of the worst cishet men I've ever met in my life and its horrible

Pretty big vent incoming in tags, just a warning. Feel free to scroll past /gen

[undermostcorgi]

the media which consumes your entire soul at age 12 will forever be a part of you. this is an unavoidable consequence of living and you have to accept this fact. no matter how old you get, no matter how long it has been since you last saw its smug face peeking out from the bushes as it follows you, no matter if you think you have outrun it for good and that you're finally finally safe and you hardly even remember it exists anymore and your brain knows a few brief moments of true peace, it WILL catch up to you in your moment of weakness. and listen you don't want to hear this but sometimes this is necessary for your mental health. you will on instinct want to reject it and run away again but sometimes. sometimes you just need to watch that old show or listen to that silly song or read that weird book again as an adult and it will hurt you a little bit in various little ways but it will also heal you a little bit. you can call it nostalgia you can call it connecting with your inner child or whatever you want but just listen to me it WILL HAPPEN TO YOU TOO AT SOME POINT AND YOU HAVE TO BE PREPARED FOR THIS (i am forcibly dragged off the stage by security)