#but I don't know what it is cuz it's just pointing at everything.
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Things I noticed in the broken tape
What is Amanda holding here? I can't really tell. Also I realized, in the background of this, you can hear the music of the "everything rots" iconic scene and the audio of Amanda saying "I can feel myself... rotting." in the background. But Wooly's "Amanda's" kind of drown it out. And Amanda looks like she's crying here. She seems like a sad child in a scary situation, but she doesn't look like she's afraid of Wooly. We've seen her "afraid" face before... this isn't it. She's sad. And instead of helping her, Wooly is bothering her. Calling her name over and over, drowning out her cry for help.
Then there's the whole sequence of scenes of Amanda and Wooly being merged together... I think this kind of symbolizes how their stuck with each other. When Wooly died he came back. Whether both of them like it or not, they are the only other person they have in this world.
Then there's the flashing images of the door... Idk what that represents but flashing images of doors seem to be a recurring theme. Maybe it's the entrance to their world? Or the exit? *shrugs*
Now this next thing I will admit I completely didn't notice until I read a bunch of youtube comments pointing it out. But in the scene where they are all sinking, both Amanda and the opossum try to fight it, and while Wooly seems surprised and a little panicked at first he just gives in.
Then there's the whole meatman scene... everyone talks about how Wooly looms over Amanda as she screams but I have seen no one mention how the meatman is the one who makes her scream in pain like this. Also when he says this line, did anyone else physically feel that feeling when the shot is definitely more than a pinch... but like... in their whole arm? I feel it every time and that's why I always try to speed past that scene when watching Amanda videos cuz I hate that feeling so much it makes the whole thing feel 10 thousand times more creepy to me.
I feel like this section of the tape seems to really show how Amanda sees Wooly. Or just represent their relationship in general. She's in pain, suffering, and he just watches with a smile. As if nothings wrong. Looming over her. She can't get rid of him. She's in pain and he doesn't even seem to care. He does nothing says nothing about it. Just stands there smiling without a care in the world.
Moving onto to the We Can Fix it portion (have I talked about this before I can't recall?)
First off, what's up with the whole, losing their eyes thing that happens throughout the tape? Do we think that could be symbolic of something?
Moving on, is it just me or are these the FRIENDLIEST interactions we've ever seen between Amanda and Wooly? Like they are literally just chatting with each other. No angry glares no passive aggressive comments. They disagree about throwing things away, but Amanda doesn't get nearly as angry at him about it as she has with other things. Also it's kind of weird to see Wooly annoyed with Amanda and her being weirdly patient with him. If you showed me this tape back when Amanda 1 came out I'd tell you it was fake.
Also, is it just me, or does Wooly act a lot more... I don't know... human in this tape? Like, I feel for most of the games he feels like... a static cartoon character. Everything he says and does (especially in the first game) feels SO scripted. And while he has moments where he breaks this, it's usually brief. But... this whole tape he just feels so... human. Like not just this cardboard cutout who smiles and waves and always acts the same. Like, throwing old stuff away is a normal thing to do. Wooly kind of feels like a parent trying to get their kid to put some of their unused toys in the yard sale bin. (except way less mature about it). His genuine surprise when they fix the first two toys. The way he rolls his eyes at Amanda when she says: "Just let me look" And like, his little snide comments he makes like: "I could've been to the dump by now." Feel so unlike him, but still so much like something an actual person would genuinely say. In general, he seems to be doing and saying things that feel like things he would usually never do, and yet still feel so in-character. He seems to act more genuine in this tape.
And then, Amanda's concern when Wooly's eye gets torn out. Like, she looks genuinely worried. Wooly actually freaking out over it... I mean, when have we ever seen Wooly freak out like this? Sure he seems nervous or scared around Amanda at times, but like that feels different. And Amanda, actually tries to comfort him! Like does no one else notice how weird this is for them?!
Not to mention Wooly saying he doesn't like this game anymore. Wooly never seems to object to adventures. I feel like this scene between them says a lot more than we realize.
My theory is that the whole Broken Tape sequence caused some sort of change or realization in the two of them. Wooly suddenly saying "I can't take this anymore!" after whatever the heck that opening sequence was would make quite a bit of sense. Like that was probably horrifying for the both of them. The whole "getting merged together" thing?! The whole meatman showing up thing?! The whole, sinking into the ground thing?! Like while it looks clearly worse on Amanda it is probably horrifying for them both nonetheless. Between the opossum, the meatman, and Hameln maybe they silently agreed that there are much worse things to deal with than each other, so maybe they became slightly more tolerant towards each other? This behavior seems to continue on into the Do You Feel Safe? tape, somewhat. There's a clear change in their behavior. Amanda seems to directly call out Wooly's "nothing's wrong" attitude when he says the neighborhood feels "safe".
Then Amanda asks: "Does it Wooly?" and... once again we don't see Wooly's "Everything's Fine" mask on. I mean, how could it after the whole "Broken Tape" incident? Well I mean, it's kind of there. He still says, "Yeah, most of the time." But he sounds SUPER unsure this time. Almost like "I thought it was..."
Also I just love the face Amanda makes at us here. I don't know something about it is so funny to me. it's giving a sarcastic "yeah sure, most of the time Wooly." kind of vibe but also like she's look to us like we totally agree. Or even like a looking to us with a "Look at this idiot." vibe. I know I've already talked about this tape but I wanna talk about it more in the context of the continuity between this one and the last one. I really do think that Wooly tries to go back to his, "stay on script" mode.
I also just noticed here that Amanda doesn't seem too annoyed at Wooly's lecture... UNTIL
He flips back to the whole "Having Adventures with your friends!" thing. And she flat out ignores him, the way she used to in the first game. I think between these two tapes, Amanda seems to be more... comfortable and less annoyed around Wooly when he ISN'T playing a caricature of a cartoon character. Like, obviously, she says in this tape that she still doesn't trust him. This whole alley scene interaction seems very much like their first game interactions. Like Wooly is clearly trying to fit back into the whole "everything's fine" skit and Amanda isn't having it. This could why she doesn't like him in the first place. He acts like everything is fine when it very clearly isn't. And Amanda... flat out IGNORES him. She straight up tells him to shut up, and he looks kind of afraid of her, the way he used to in the first game.
Also I find it really interesting how Wooly suddenly switched back from talking about the show and how they should act to saying "but I really don't-" don't what? Don't like it? Cuz I feel like that's what he was trying to say here. I personally think the whole "playing along with the show" thing is not even about what Hameln wants. It feels more like a way to cover up the fact that Wooly doesn't seem to like all this. It's almost like he's reflecting the blame onto Amanda for their situation rather than acknowledging Hameln's role in all this. Which ties into my favorite Amanda theory:
Basically, I think Amanda and Wooly have very skewed perceptions of each other and both believe that the other has bad intentions. I think on Wooly's part, he's a lot more selfish than Amanda. Though, I feel like Amanda would be a lot more tolerant of Wooly if he was actually honest about how he feels about this situation. Because as much as he tries to hide it and pretend to like it here, he clearly doesn't. Of course he doesn't, he isn't stupid. But I guess it's easier to pretend nothing's wrong and play a part than to actually process what the hell happened to you. (or rather, the hell you went through). Honestly, I think Amanda is actively trying to process and overcome her trauma while Wooly is avoiding it, burying it. Though both are doing it at the other's expense.
However, in the good ending version, the opossum appears and creates a common enemy between the two. And they work together really well. If you help them beat the opossum, Amanda suddenly agrees with Wooly's sentiment that sometimes strangers can be scary. Then when Wooly asks if they could go home, Amanda teases him, asking if he's scared. What I find interesting is that he doesn't actually refute this. Which while it isn't admitting it, it isn't denying it either which is definitely a start. (and then there's the alternate scene where they beat up the opossum in complete sync with each other what the heck).
Whoops that got REALLY off topic. My point is, their relationship has changed, and they seem to be STARTING to communicate more with each other. Amanda still doesn't trust him, but I think this is a start. Yes she tried to kill him at one point, yes she hated him... but I don't think Wooly is as terrible as some people make him out to be. He's selfish and he actively ignores Amanda's feelings in favor of what HE wants, but I don't think he's doing it for Hameln.
Anyway I'm tired. I'll talk about the rest of the tape tomorrow. We cool with that? IDC I'M GOING TO SLEEP BUH-BYE!
#amanda the adventurer#amanda the adventurer 2#maddykpost#ata 2#wooly the sheep#amanda the adventurer wooly#amanda the adventurer theory
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Nosferatu spent 2 hours trying to explain how count orlock is not someone who should be romanticised because he is a creepy ass pervert who does not understand consent. Now people are out there making hear me out posts for him, media literacy go brrrr
Attack on titan spent FOUR seasons trying to convey the message that there is no right or wrong in war, and that innocent lives are lost on both the sides and that you support the one whose side of the story was more accessible to you. Then aot fans made thousands of posts on how gabi was bad and eren was good, and vice versa. Media literacy again go brrr
The author of hunger games literally word to word explained how the people of Capitol were selfish pieces of shit who were consumed by superficial things and that led them to ignore the atrocities that were being committed in the name of "games". Then people made thrist traps of snow, saying they would join him in all the things he did since he was so hot. Media literacy AGAIN going brrrr
The author of Lolita literally saying that a young girl shouldn't be on the cover and that it's a story about pedophilia. The people romanticising the Lolita aesthetic and calling it a romance book. I'LL BANG MY HEAD ON A WALL
It's so incredibly heartbreaking when a piece of media does it's best to make a point and it completely goes over people's heads. We were just having a debate about this in the class and the opposition team made such dumb points like 😭 "let people enjoy things in the way they want to" NO, if a person reads a book from back to the front we call him dumb, because it's MEANT to be read from front to the back. The creator is explicitly stating their intention to make that piece and then people go, " well, actually.." IT'S SO ANNOYING
What's the point of reading and watching and studying if you MISS THE GODDAMN POINT. Every revolution In this world was caused by people reading and UNDERSTANDING, authors wrote stories in such a way that it didn't directly insult the monarchy but the message was there, a story about animals working together to drive away hunters from the forest, subconsciously the message was received by the people. If you don't understand and take the message seriously, then you're not even reading or watching anything, you're just looking, HUGE DIFFERENCE. You're looking at the words, but you're not understanding anything cuz BRAIN NO WORK 😭
So annoying Bhai so annoying, our team was so pissed with the opposition like what the fuck are you saying bro, it's not even...... IT'S INSANE. We need a better education system because this is simply not it. Do they even teach anything in schools anymore or what?
Or leave everything else, the comment section of a basic astrology post makes me want to cry, asking the same questions again and again, like bro, the person literally clarified what they meant in their post, JUST READ. They're so used to being spoon fed all the time, you have to direct people, "do this, do that, see that post", or when people are not able to connect dots, there is information available to you, combine that information, take points that match with your circumstances and create a new point that is applicable for YOU. "I don't resonate with this" OKAY, IT'S ONE FUCKING POSITION GOD 😭😭. I have seen such negative observations about my placements and THAT'S FINE, maybe they met people with those placements who exhibited such traits. Not every mars In 1st is going to be athletic, not every moon in 6th will have a weak immunity, you may have other placements to balance it out. The worst part is that they'll list down their placements and be like "what does this mean" LIKE I DON'T KNOW BRO, YOU SHOULD PUT SOME EFFORT AS WELL 😭 atleast TRY to reach a conclusion.
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something feels very bad and it feels like it's in my brain but my body's been shutting down for days so it's probably that. no telling if it's a proportionate emotional response to a terrible experience or a neurological symptom of being Precariously Ill.
#cuz it feels like my brain Desperately Wants Something#but I don't know what it is cuz it's just pointing at everything.#it wants to make it wants gifts it wants attention it doesn't actually know it just wants Something#but. I've been awake for over an hour and I finished all my morning phone things but I'm still just laying here#cuz taking my meds and going to lay down on the couch instead sounds exhausting.#it's really stressful to be so sick you physically cannot articulate how sick you are anymore#especially since that makes it even harder to fix.#it wasn't as big a deal when arin was theoretically available to do little fill in tasks like giving me food and water#but now I'm home alone for big chunks of the day again#and it becomes immediately obvious once more that I need Serious Care.
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one of my favorite persona things i've learned is that like. the "present" point in the timeline for p3d and p5d is at somepoint during p5. so elizabeth has to go back in time to grab sees. which, given shinjiro not being there (outside of dlc), means she specifically chose to go to a point in time before the p3 mc's death but after shinjiro's. extremely hilarious to me honestly-
#rambearling#persona 3#p3#persona 5#p5#persona 3 spoilers#kind of#side note but i really question the existence of p3d and p5d like#they're basically the same game? just with different characters#they have the other game's characters and songs as dlc-#everyone forgets everything at the end also?#which i mean i know that also applies to pq and pq2#but p3d and p5d aren't even that good apparently-#what is the point. is it just cuz p4d sold well???#cuz i have a feeling that's not entirely because of the dancing part sdflkjsfdkfjdsjklsfdjkl-#i don't know it's just weird to me-#though also i saw someone say p3d implies yukamitsu's canon so it has that going for it ig#was a youtube comment that just said that and didn't elaborate though so#idk i haven't played p3d. and don't plan to#i don't even know if i'll play p4d yet either i'll probably just watch a playthrough-#wanna get the story but unlike arena i don't have that much interest in the gameplay-#my only rhythm game experience is rhythm heaven and i'm only good at that cuz my adhd made me memorize every game#i haven't played it in months and i still have most of them memorized-
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Before I went to bed I saw the Youtube notif that TADC was going to Netflix and it INVADED my dreams so vividly I have not had such an episodic sequential serialized cohesive dream in months it was literally its own chapter its own short story
#I was Pomni it was literally Pomni POV#Caine had cooked up some sporty adventure and I was like Ummm...... no#So I found a glitch where I could hide in a technically out-of-bounds area#I had a theory that if I stayed super close to the ground I wouldn't be in the range of Caine's mod powers or whatever#Some random girl was w me I don't think she was important#Anyways I started thinking “This could hurt. When they leave#the map will not have to exist.”#I'd be crushed by the nonexistence of the area I'm in. When they come back I'll load in somewhere slightly different#and be stuck in the walls."#DIDN'T HAPPEN everything was OK#But at some point I was like man... sure is boring and scary. Sure wish my friends were here.#So I ended up finding them anyway LMAO#I told them what happened cuz they were obviously concerned and Caine got his feelings hurt???#Like. surprising moment of clarity. Everyone was shocked and uncomfortable.#Bro was like “I try so hard for U guys 🥺 I just don't get it. Why didn't you just tell me you wanted to stay home??”#Most everyone was like IDC UR OUR JAILER!! CRY ABT IT!! but me and Ragatha were coerced into pity...#Like yeah whatever. Sorry man. I'll be honest next time and not do things that could make me die. I think we were just caught off-guard.#Exchanging glances like “Wow... didn't know he could feel anything!” Like imagine if ur Furby just had an emotional outburst#and felt remorse abt it. WYD.#I think we held his hands or sum cuz all my dreams end like a Barbie movie#Episode ended and I was like Wow :) Great show#Sorta off-topic but the cafeteria today started playing very quiet carnival music for Hoco and I literally felt chills up my back cuz#I had been thinking abt Pommy all day...#I used to be enraptured by clown motif what happened#Did I throw it up#For the best...... for the best.
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Fuck.
#just#fuck everything really#i guess it all doesn't fucking matter#I guess all i did wasn't enough#i guess i can just get fucked cuz apparently the place that's offering me exactly what you say isn't offering me the right things#just let it all go to shit#I don't give a fuck#let it all collapse#i might as well just give up#I know I'm just upset but really that's all i want currently#just let everything collapse and stop caring#fuck de gemeente#fuck all of this#i just want to#sleep#close my eyes and let it all collapse without needing to care#there's no way this “different way” will do what they want but if this is what it's going to be#I give up#I'm not giving up yet i still feel like there's room to fight it#but really i just want to give up right now#just stop caring and let it all fall down#cuz it doesn't feel worth it#i dont know where I'm going with this I'm just sad and angry and upset and confused and tired and#i thought this was going well#i thought this was going to be the way forward#and i dont see how this other thing can possibly be#so#what's the damn point anymore
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hm. i do not remember the screenshot being this big hfvsh
#wip#i like this one the best and also.. it might be the best one Lmaofhvs#[points] its the He#this is also very nearly the final product hvfhs#i'm just gonna colour them a bit and then leave it at that :)#(i'm doing an expression sheet again :3 :D)#i'm drawing each of these individually unlike how i did with the bl.s ones cuz his funkin Hair likes to catch me out hbvfsh#//anyway i've been working on this thing for nearly a week ???#'keeps why' i have been. writing#i do So enjoy infodumping about this project hvfhs#plusss putting it in a little booky means people don't have to be bothered with me looping back and over myself lol :>#i just dunno where i wanna put it lol#wattpad makes the most sense.. but also mm i dunno hfhsh#i haven't really used it in forever...#oh i should update it though fr fr#/also Geeeeez what is happening to my writing HFH#like one day i can't stop overusing the world 'occasionally' and then next i sound sort of obnoxious overusing synonyms and stuff lol#though you know what it Has gotten easier to just get stuff down (even when my brain is pretty much dead !!) when i just ignore everything#i forget about hfvhs :D#cuz i forget like every 15th word and it screws w/ the flow but if i do [this] with a similar word for later it's so good :DD#/also why can i Never remember the word Conscience lmao#that's a little bit of a funny one to always be losing hvfsh#//anywho... woo.... :33#i'm gonna go do my stuff now... and prolly sneak a soda.... and if i do i'll prolly be back ranting because that's what caffeine does to me#Loll#have a very empty brain recently. it Has been full of lovey doveyness tho so not bad not bad hfvhs :D#okay bbbye now toooodles ciaaaoo see ya .u./
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My brother said something the other day about how no-one could prove if the current anti-Israel boycotts are actually making an impact cuz there could be other reasons people aren't eating at McDonald's or whatever
But besides the fact that there are many articles easily find-able online saying that the companies are aware of and feeling the impact of such protests, and some are even making some changes, I needed to make a point to him about why I participate in boycotts whether they're successful or not
But my brother tends to get annoyed and stop listening whenever I talk real politics, so I tried to make a really simple analogy
Let's say there's a man outside our house, and he is just beating people to death with sticks. Not people from our neighborhood, but still, people. We can't call the cops to stop him, because they think he's doing a great job. And we can close the blinds and ignore him, but he's still there and we know it.
And he has a big pile of sticks, so when one breaks he can get another to beat the next person to death with
So one day you have to go outside and the man turns to you and says, "Hey. Can you pass me a stick?"
And maybe it doesn't matter if you do or not. Maybe someone else will give him a stick anyway, or he'll get one on his own, or he'll start punching people
But I don't want to give him a stick.
And maybe I can't stop him, but I at least don't want to help him
At this point my brother tried to make a joke (because that's what he always does in every conversation) and he said something like "What if you don't give him the stick and then he beats YOU to death"
And I was like, "That's a great point, actually, because the Yemeni wouldn't let weapons shipments through their waterways so Israel bombed them."
And the analogy was broken but. I hope I made my point
Maybe I don't have the power as an individual half a world away to stop a genocide. But I at least want to not contribute to it
#i don't want to put this in the main relevant tags because i don't want to attract the ire of certain folks on this site#iykwim#mod post#family stuff#and i know i am oversimplifying massively here but i just wanted to get a point across to my brother without getting too granular about it#because he was only gonna listen for so long#i guess i am posting this in case someone else has a family member who disparages them for participating in a boycott#and maybe this analogy might help a bit#i already feel really helpless in the face of what's going on in the world so tbh it really upset me when he implied#that the boycotts may not be doing anything. maybe starbucks profits are down cuz they suck and are expensive he says#i need to believe that it is doing something. i need to believe my actions are making some tiny miniscule difference#cuz i can't donate much. i can't go over there and help people. i can't evacuate them or heal their wounds or save their families#but i can at least avoid giving my money to some of the companies that are supporting their oppressors#i wish i could avoid giving money to everyone who supports israel but unfortunately#some companies own half of everything and i can't keep track#and also i'll get in trouble if i don't pay taxes#i am babbling now sorry. it's nearly 2 am. i'm gonna... leave this here
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One of my sweet younger clients made me cry today cuz she just broke up w her girlfriend and she started sobbing when she told me and I just couldn't handle it
#I've known this kid for like. 5 or 6 years now. she's basically my kid at this point#and this is the first time I've seen her cry. my heart just shattered.#I dropped everything and was like oh baby noooo I'm so sorry!! pulled her into a hug and she cried on my shoulder for a few minutes#I stood there and cried with her cuz I didn't know what else to do#I didn't want to say the wrong thing. cuz she's young and this will probably feel like the end of the world to her for a while#and I don't really have experience w that kinda thing cuz the only relationship I was ever in fucking sucked and I wanted it to end#so I just stood there and hugged her and tried to think of something I could say that would be comforting.#didn't come up with anything tho. just kept saying it would be okay and I was so sorry.#I'm emotionally drained now. I feel like I should've handled it better. done something more.#idk what. but I wish I could think of something.
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thinking about my childhood fandoms. will promptly be exploding.
#thinking about the book of life again. WAUGH the book of life my absolute beloved <333333333#that shit was the epitome of Story to me#and you know what it still is#it was everything#and ever after high too. i saw a post yesterday that reminded me how insane i was as a kid abt ever after high.#GHGGFSFSGSHDJS#i wanna watch maya and the three but im not sure#recently when ive tried to watch kids shows- even really good ones- ive found myself appreciating them#but not enjoying them as i know i would have when i was actually a child#bc now im more mature and now i like more complicated things so a lot of kids shows don't explore those things in detail or at all#so while i can appreciate that the show is good i can't really sink my teeth into it#i could when i was a kid cuz thats all i really had and was able to understand at that point#and i DID get really into them then. but idk. im scared i'll like it but won't love it.#:/#bluebird.txt#uf anyways. manolo save me diego luna save me#i wasn't even In those fandoms as a kid cuz no internet really but i was just as insane as things im in fandoms for now sooo
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I love my gx winx au and I love that it's just bits and pieces of me being like oh that's fun and not having any semblance of lore or plot. It's purely contained to the character designs I've drawn for the girls.
#it will stay contained to art too it's not something I'd ever write#like I know absolutely nothing about this au of mine but I'm obsessed with it all the same#like I learn something new about it every time I've drawn something#I don't draw a lot for it yall have seen everything I've done and it's usually just a drawing of alexis cuz I love her design lol#but like I'm doing panels for it rn right? and like it's just coming together like the story of what's happening atm#and that's like the only story there actually is rn but it's just falling into place#so I can actually make something of substamce out of this tiny concept I had for a drawing I wanted to try because I had an itch and it grew#that doesn't really happen to me anymore like I haven't felt a spark like that since I wrote OUAD#nothing I've written since has felt the same#and like I said this isn't something I would write into a fic or anything it would just be too much but it's really everything to me rn#something I can come back to and dip my toe in whenever I really feel like I need a spark again and it just makes me happy#I grew up with 4kids winx club so another reason I'd never write anything for real is because I refuse to watch any other version#like I've tried I just can't do it my mind rejects any other version so I only know the universe to a point anyway and but that was my thin#it made me so happy as a kid and it still does now like those are my girls and they mean the world to me and being able to play#within that space with other characters I'm obsessed with and combine into something that miraculously works is amazing#I need to draw more stuff for this au I guess is my whole point#I need to see what other things can..... bloom....... (heh) within that space and what will just manifest before me#I need that something to make me feel that spark again because I don't want to lose it forever and I think I'm starting to find it again#life has just been knocking down over and over lately and it's destroyed so much of my mental state and honestly randomly deciding to try#and actually draw actual stuff for this au has been so healing. I almost feel lighter#it feels stupid amd silly to say but it's true#abby's just rambling don't mind her
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real talk tho i know there's exactly zero (0) chance of romantic erasermic ever being canon, but i'd just like to put it out there right now in no uncertain terms that if it ever somehow does happen i'm FUCKING suing
#as an erasermic shipper i say this with love#if erasermic goes canon i'm ending it all#my faith in hori when it comes to this is nonexistent#i just Know he'll do it in a way that either breaks my heart or pisses me off or lbr probably both#like seriously let's be fucking real at this point it'll feel unearned/unsatisfying no matter what#esp with how close the manga is to ending#idk maybe i'm just old and bitter#but hori already burned me with nem's death and how utterly inconsequential it has been to the rooftop gang saga#(yes i'm still salty af about that i'll literally die mad about it)#so like if he even HINTS at any sort of romantic entanglement between any and all remaining parties i am OUT#please for the love of everything leave the shipping to the shippers i am on my knees#anyway ofc all this rambling has been for naught because as i said there's 0% chance of it ever happening#just had to get this off my chest cuz the latest leaks struck some Real Fear into my heart for a hot sec#anyway#don't mind me just ramblin'#erasermic#bnha leaks#just in case lol
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happy new years to the person who stalked and bullied me with their 1,000 plus twitter followers while I had like 30 lol
Stillll was the best thing that ever happened to meeee NOT JOKING
THANKS FOR HELPING ME BECOME MY TRUE SELF ALMOST THREE YEARS BABY OF BEING TRUE ME
AND HAPPY NEW YEARS FOR EVERYONE ELSE LOOK AT THE PRECIOUS BABEY PRINCESS 🥺🥺🥺🥺 I AHHHHHHHH
#personal#AND THIS WAS MY OG ACCOUNTS#Where I had more followers in the span of a few months vs now where it’s been years#it really proves the numbers aren’t everything#I’m so much happier here as I am now#And it’s so funny it’s thanks to some hater lol who’s account that I know of doesn’t exist anymore#though for all I know they’re dedicated to their cause and was one of the guest anon haters on ao3 till I turned them off#At this point I've spent more time as Qutie than Q by a long shot#I'll always be grateful for her getting me started but I love who I am now#I wouldn't be confident happy me without that asshole it's so funny how they tried to get rid of me but oopsie poopsie#They just made me stronger#It genuinely brings me so much joy to do what I love so much#CUTE KI IN DRESSES GONKI#AHHHHHH#And not have that anxiety loooming over me of wanting to fit in but not fitting in cuz I don't like kg I don't like main fandom#and praying my tag blocker saves me and I will keep silent on some things I like and believe in and#yeah I should apologize in my authors tag for writing too much of my niche of G carrying Ki and yeah#I'm so scared of antis and oh no ect ect I look back at her like whooo#Like whooo are uuu all that anxiety? Now my only anxiety is hate comments and that’s cuz of RSD BUT I WILL NEVER STOP WHAT I LOVE#I'll always be grateful for her but it's funny how in three years I went from no confidence me to someone who I AM MY NUMBER ONE FAN#DAMM I LOVE MYSELF not that that happened overnight but! Was a slow crawl but at the least! FULLY Since 2022 esp end of year! I LOVE ME DAM#And this no confidence thing it goes much further back then my blog too so anon changed my life#It's funny how just one person made me course correct and now I'm the person I am today and I love me I don't know how much time I have lef#But I'll spend it doing the things I love I still get depressed and sad from time to time and think everyone hates me but it's like RSD and#Depression it can't always be perfect but I'm so happy and confident most the time I just love what I do#Anon hate is never right I hate shit with my whole being and I've never once thought hmm let me send hate it doesn't make sense to me#And I still get harrasssed by these antis and some bad apple kg people and they don't offer me shit but a headache so I don’t want moreeee#But it's kinda funny how grateful I am towards this hater literally changed my life thank u if your out there man my lady non binary pal#So yeah I unironically sit back and thank them sometimes#IM SO HAPPY I GET TO DO WHAT I LOVE AND LOVE MY KI AND MY GONKI AND AHHHHHHHH
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again, in tags, and dec 18 tw
#i know ppl sensationalize 'let me out' way more than 'elevator' because its much more on the nose#even in the title#and like it has 2x as many listens on spotify so i know ppl are just listening to it cuz theyre like oh what is this#but bro#if depression is part of ur life experience and u listen to elevator#its like#shit#and like ive had depression for so long and it was untreated for SO long that i think it rly rly hits in my personal experience#and like jonghyun was so honest with his emotions and he felt everything so strongly#and i think a moment like let me out is much more like#thats when youre angry and fed up with yourself and with everything and you just want to be DONE youre just tired and youre like fucking le#take a break from this#but elevator is so poignant because it feels so much like the bottom of the well#like when you dont really feel anything#youre on your back in a dark whole staring at the pinprick of the sky#to the point that he's even detached from the self#he is seeing his reflection as if it is someone else#and saying how long have you been that tired? how long have you been that sad?#and to look at yourself and say 'i don't know you' but also 'you know you cant go on like this anymore right?#like bro#i wish i could verbalize like how insanely like#i mean hes an artist he encapsulated the thought in a very poignant and concise way#its just so insane to think how many people listened to those words and were still surprised by what happened#idk#anyway#i miss him
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Kamen Rider Geats episode 30 poorly summarized via memes with as little context as possible:
#kamen rider geats#kamen rider geats poorly summarized#i was actually surprised at how well neon's mom handled everything cuz her mental state in the other world was Not Good#the fact she recovered and was all 'Neon don't go' was actually nice?#idk im more sympathetic to her than her bastard husband#ftr the cleaver hand is from alton brown's (OG) hand washing psa#also ty to the people who are making kamen rider collar grab comps#they are valued members of our society#i was watching this ep and was immediately like 'oo a reverse collar grab! double points!'#so that tells you everything you need to know about me#yes this is extremely late (by my standards)#no i will not promise to do better#cuz i know for this upcoming one im gonna be watching late for Reasons#so ep 31 will also be late#its fiiiiiiinnnneee#this is niche af content anyways#kamen rider geats ep 30#oh also previews lead me to believe that michi just straight up#tells ace what he learned#which ngl would be baller and funny as shit#michinaga .2 seconds after dramatic reveal “yo ace are you in the headspace to receive potentially devasting news”#drops info without waiting for an answer#immediately gets back on his bs
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need to be exploding something but i Can't for some reason. just Can Not. my ability to do is just. Nay
#just me hi#GOUHHH#okay so I can't go back to bed rn cuz I was So tired earlier I went to bed at 7#Bad move !! But I also didn't have anything to do so kind of the only one lmao#So I slept for 4 hours and here I am now. At 2 am. Vibing [<- this is untrue]#I have Energy that I Need to dedicate to SOMETHING but I can't figure out what so I'm just vibrating really aggressively and pacing kfvshf#I could funkin writeeeee but I don't know what and i don't think I'll be able to focus so lmaoo 💥#// 💥🎶NONSTOP AUTOMATIC LIVIN IN DELUSION🎶💥#anywho loll--#//i could draw but that's Slow and Caramalizing work. Like when I want to evenly toast my thoughts you know what I'm saying kfshf#Or when I'm just trying to be Thourough. Or just rotating shiz so fast I gotta slow down lol#And then if I draw what should it be? The things in my brain ??? God forbid#What I'm just sposed to pick between the 3+ projects I have blasting at full volume in my head rn ?? That's crazy talk man#//mnm i want. a Snack#Snack tiymeeee#If only we had those kfshvfh#Ik where to get marshmallows (thought they could hide them from me. Impossible) but that's not a good choice for the hour or the craving lo#//what's the point !!! What's the pooooint !!! 🎶#i love you music hfvsh#/speaking of i took my mp3 player w/ me to skate w/ and played oldies and you know that was pretty good man I gotta do that again#Meant to do it last time but I didn't charge her :( and I don't want to stress her battery by killing her so </3#//oh also we went to the movies today !! Part of the reason I'm tired lmao#I always forget to bring smth to plug my ears (it's so funkin loudddd man oTL) but you know what I Didn't forget? Mp3 player w/ the noise#Canceling earbuds. Which worked insanely well I had Zero discomfort :D#Usually the theater experience starts to suck hard at abt the 2/3rds point cuz everything gets loud ;w;#but i forgot abt the sound thing w/ my buds in so :D yay yippee !!#We watched gladiator 2 :) watched the first one the night before so full context let's go 💥#It was good! I think anyway! I'm not sure i was completely clocked in kfshfh#//ooou I'm running out of tag space..#I'll say ciao right here loll :> toodles !!
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