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#but I don't know what it is cuz it's just pointing at everything.
bad268 · 2 days
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Love your writingg!!
Could you write a oneshot with ollie when reader couldn't make it to a race and she got sick while at home but didnt tell ollie cuz it couldve made him shit the race and he comes back home at takes care of herr??
+hiii!! idk if ure still taking request, but maybe an ollie x reader where she gets her wisdom tooth out and the aftermath is just her being chaotic and funny while ollie just goes with everything.
but yeah, i think it’s pretty cute. thank you!
Boyfriend Of The Year (Ollie Bearman X Reader)
Fandom: RPF/F2/F3
Requested: Clearly (I just did a sick fic, so i decided to incorporate these. Hope yall don't mind <3)
Warnings: Wisdom teeth surgery and recovery
POV: Majority Second Person (You/your), some Third Person (They/them)
W.C. 2301
Summary: A routine dentist appointment turns into a secret to keep Ollie sane.
As always, my requests are OPEN
MASTERLIST // HITLIST
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~~(^Pinterest)
Your phone was blowing up with texts from Ollie. He was probably wondering where you were at this point since you promised to be at the qualifying session, but due to a dentist appointment scheduled between the sessions, you had to split up. Ollie and his dad drove together, and you took an uber to your appointment. Well, at that dentist appointment, you found out that your chronic jaw pain was actually your wisdom teeth getting dangerous. They were growing inwards and pressing your teeth, so your dentist strongly encouraged an emergency wisdom teeth removal for the same day. Ollie was going to be pissed and you knew it.
“Hey, CareBear,” You greeted in a fake tone. You were still at the dentist, but you stepped outside to get a little bit of privacy. “What’s up?”
“Don’t ‘Hey CareBear’ me! Where are you? You said you were gonna be here,” Ollie asked. He was finally able to let out a breath after running around the paddock trying to find where you were. When he couldn’t find you, he started asking around, but no one had seen you. Then, he started calling you, and coincidentally, the calls were during your x-rays or consultation, so you were not answering. It was driving him insane. “Are you almost here?” 
“The dentist was short-staffed, so they haven't gotten me in yet,” You came up with on the fly. You knew he would hate that you lied to him, but he would also throw his entire race weekend away for you. Yes, it was adorable and it’s part of what made you love him, but this was not the time to be a loving boyfriend. This was the time to show everyone why he deserved the Haas seat. He could be boyfriend of the year afterward. “I can text you when I’m done, but I need to see them today. You know how bad my jaw has been hurting lately.”
“Oh?” Ollie smirked as he lowered his voice, about to make a joke but his dad walked right past him.
“Don’t even start, Oliver,” You pressed as you saw your dentist gesturing for you to come back in, so they could prepare you for the surgery. “Listen, CareBear, I gotta go. I think they’re ready to take me back. I’ll text your dad to pick me up when we start wrapping up. You need to get back for debrief or start preparing for quali.”
“Yeah, I should probably eat something,” Ollie said to himself as he scratched the back of his neck. He had never had to go into qualifying without you, so he was a bit nervous. However, he totally understood that this was something you needed to do. “I’ll get on pole for you.”
“I expect you in the top 22, nothing less,” You joked as you both said goodbye and hung up the call. You headed back inside as they started giving you the rundown on how the surgery would occur. For once, you were thankful for scheduling your appointment in the morning and not eating beforehand. Just before they would put you under, you decided to call Ollie’s dad. It didn’t take long for him to answer.
“Hey, Y/n,” David greeted immediately as he walked toward the back of the garage, “Need me to pick you up? That was awfully quick.”
“Actually no,” You chuckled nervously. “Don’t tell Ollie until after quali, but I’m getting my wisdom teeth out right now. If we tell him, he’s going to freak out.”
“Was this the plan the whole time?” He asked, quieting down as Ollie walked by nonethewiser. He was finishing up before he would be getting in the car, so he had enough on his plate, in your opinion.
“No, I just found out that the jaw pain I thought was the start of TMJ was actually my wisdom teeth growing inwards,” You explained with a smile as you watched your dentist finish setting everything out. “Listen, David, I’ll need you to pick me up in like an hour. Maybe after qualifying break it to him? Or just let him figure it out when I’m loopy. I really don’t care.”
“I’ll take care of him, don’t worry,” David reassured as he saw Ollie gesturing for him to come over before he would get in the car. “Have them call me when you’re done, and we’ll pick you up.”
You thanked him before ending the call and heading into the back where the operation would take place. 
The qualifying session went by quickly for Ollie because it was basically a one-lap shot. Right after the first laps, it started pouring rain, so when Ollie was at the top of the timing page, no one was able to beat him. He tried to call you as soon as he got out of the car, but every call went straight to voicemail. It freaked him out a little, but he brushed it off, thinking you were still getting your cleaning. It wasn’t until his dad was ushering him to change and get to the car park almost as soon as he wrapped up media that he started thinking something was wrong. Ollie sat nervously in the passenger seat as his dad drove in silence, which was completely unusual for him, so he decided to try and break the tension.
“So, dad,” He dragged out as he looked over at his dad. They pulled up to a red light, and David looked at Ollie. “Where are we going?”
“The dentist,” David said simply as he moved the car into first gear when the light changed. “We need to pick Y/n up.”
“Shouldn’t they have finished up during quali?” Ollie asked before muttering to himself, “I thought they would have been in the garage by the end of media.”
“They had to get some work done,” David responded. It was light-hearted, so Ollie wasn’t too worried. When they pulled up, he parked the car but made no move to get out for a second, causing Ollie to look over confused. “They had to get their wisdom teeth out.”
“What? Why didn’t you tell me?” Ollie freaked out, immediately getting out of the car and trying to reach the front door before his dad. Unfortunately for him, his dad anticipated this and beat him to the punch by blocking the door. “Dad, let me in.”
“No, you need to understand why we didn’t tell you,” David pressed as he put a hand on Ollie's shoulder and sheered him back toward the car. “They didn’t want you to be nervous in qualifying. It’s getting to the end of your season, and next year, you’ll be in F1. Everyone’s eyes are on you, and the last thing they wanted was for you to get nervous and risk your position in the championship.”
“That makes no sense! I wouldn’t have thrown the session!” Ollie disputed as he threw his hands up.
“Oh, please,” David tsked, “You almost crashed the car when you found out they had a headache a few months ago. Of course, you wouldn’t completely compromise your qualifying session knowing they were getting surgery. That sounds totally believable to me.” 
“Maybe you have a point,” Ollie mumbled as he dripped his hands to his sides in defeat. He looked back over to his dad as he sighed, “Can we go in now?”
“Are you going to cause a scene?”
“No.”
~
POV Switch-Third POV
All the while, Y/n was just waking up. The team had wrapped up the surgery at the end of qualifying and called David, saying he didn’t need to rush since they still needed to ween Y/n off of the meds and they still needed to pass the memory tests.
Y/n didn’t remember even waking up, but they did semi-register people walking in, around, and out of their room. Most of them were dentists or nurses checking their vitals, but then two people walked in that didn’t look like a dentist or nurse. It was Ollie and David, but Y/n was still too out of it to recognize them (or what they were saying to be honest).
“So they’ll be a little loopy for a while,” one of the dentists said to David, causing him to nod. Ollie had already taken a seat beside you and was holding your hand. The dentist then took David out of the room to talk about how to help clean the wounds and give him a list of foods that Y/n could eat while recovering. Ollie wanted to say something, anything to Y/n but they ended up talking before him.
“Whoever is your significant other is lucky because damn you’re hot,” Y/n chuckled slightly as they fell back against the pillows and smiled sleepily as they looked at him. “They’re like really lucky.”
“Well, you’ll be happy to know that you’re my significant other,” Ollie chuckled with them as he brought their hands up to kiss their knuckles.
“No way!” Y/n said as loud as the gauze in their mouth could allow as their eyes almost fell out of their head. “You’re telling me I bagged you?!”
“You bagged me,” Ollie chuckled in disbelief. He was upset at first that Y/n didn’t tell him sooner, but he couldn’t find it in himself to be mad at them, especially when they said something like that. “If I tell you a word, can you remember it for me?”
“Anything for you, handsome,” Y/n shamelessly flirted as they leaned in a little closer to prop their head against Ollie’s free hand that was resting by their head. 
“The word is ‘pole’,” Ollie said, and Y/n repeated it a couple of times before nodding that they understood it. “Okay, how are you feeling now?”
“I’m feeling tired. I wanna sleep. I wanna eat. I’m hungry. I want someone to tell me what place Ollie is in for the race tomorrow,” Y/n ranted before gasping toward the end, remembering the qualifying session they missed. In the haze, Y/n’s brain never connected that Ollie was sitting in front of them as they went on a rant. “Ollie Bearman is my favorite driver, and I wanna know where he placed. Do you know Ollie?”
“I know of him, yeah,” Ollie said as he bit back a laugh. There was no way he was witnessing this. “I think I know where he placed.”
“Where?” Y/n gasped as they tried to sit up in the bed, but the vitals machine started going off, causing a few personnel to walk in, but Ollie was already pushing them back.
“What was the word from earlier?”
“Pole?” Y/n said confused before it finally connected, “Wait, pole position?”
“Yup, he’s on pole for the feature race,” Ollie smiled at their enthusiasm. “Now, what’s my name?”
“What’s your name? CareBear?”
“Well, yes, but what’s my real name?” 
“Oliver,” Y/n dragged out before the fog cleared enough for them to make the connection. “Wait! Ollie, my CareBear! You’re Ollie!”
“I am,” Ollie chuckled as he leaned over to place a kiss on Y/n’s forehead while the dentists started removing wires and needles from Y/n, so they could leave. Ollie wrapped an arm around their shoulder, knowing Y/n didn’t like needles. He took to whispering reassurance in their ear until they were cleared to leave. Ollie then asked, “You still sleepy?”
Y/n didn’t respond as they were already asleep, so when all of the paperwork was signed, Ollie picked Y/n up to carry them to the car.  The entire ride to the hotel, Y/n was asleep against Ollie’s shoulder until David pulled into the parking spot. That’s when Y/n woke up, stretching their arms above their head.
“I still wanna sleep,” Y/n whined as they leaned back against Ollie. “My legs feel like jelly.”
“I can always carry you again,” Ollie commented already getting out of the car and moving around to help Y/n out. As soon as Y/n stepped out, Ollie’s arm was lifting up their legs to carry them up to their room. Thankfully, David was already leading the way and opening doors for them.
“You’re really working for that Boyfriend Of The Year award, aren't you?” Y/n teased as they plopped their head against Ollie’s shoulder.
“I didn’t know I was in the running,” Ollie joked back as he left a kiss on their nose.
“You’re always in the running,” Y/n pouted before going on another tangent, “Y’know, I’d love to kiss you, but I can’t really feel my lips so I don’t know how that would go.”
“I’ll give you a kiss when you don’t have bloody gauze in your mouth,” Ollie said as he walked up to the door. “Does that sound like a deal?”
“Add some ice cream or smoothies and you’ve got a deal.”
“You can’t drink from a straw, so no smoothies.”
“Buzzkill.”
“Not a buzzkill,” Ollie said simply as he set Y/n down on the bathroom counter, so he could change their gauze. “We’re not risking you getting dry socket.”
“Kissass.”
“How does that make me a kissass?” Ollie chuckled as he helped Y/n down from the counter and to the bed. Ollie fixed the pillows around them to make them comfortable before grabbing an icepack from the freezer. 
“You know the judge of the Boyfriend Of The Year award, and you’re kissing their ass,” Y/n chuckled as they leaned back into the pillows and took the icepacks from Ollie, immediately pressing them against their face. “Let me say, you’re winning.”
“I would hope so,” Ollie retorted, “I should be the only one in the running!”
~~~~~
© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.
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elsecrytt · 3 days
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gojo only ever being needed and not wanted broke my hearttt noooo. i just love gojo x mundanity so so much. all he wants in life is a quiet peaceful life with someone who just sees him without his six eyes. there will always be something so bittersweet about that mostly cuz he'll never allow himself to have that life completely:/
i've seen that one post going around that's like "“if i cannot be wanted, i will be needed and if i cannot be needed, let me be used until there’s nothing left of me” and although i don't think gojo is actually that self-sacrificing, i do see a bit of him in there.
like, we know for sure he treasures "youth" and in particular his own "youth" very deeply. we see the s2 opening with him in high school with geto and the other students, doing just regular things, looking genuinely happy and having tons of fun.
gojo used to smile and laugh with people. people who were his peers. and maybe that was mostly possible because they were peers then, instead of him being the pinnacle of sorcerer society. when kenjaku shows up he gets a minute-long internal flashback of all those old times. it meant a lot to him.
on the other hand, though, gojo is absolutely a bit of a bully deep down. he was still a jerk sometimes in high school (though he DID have a good heart - hence the thing with riko) and he clearly has fun when he's fighting curses lol. he takes a lot of joy in his power, and why wouldn't he? it's kinda all he's got going for him. self-fulfilling prophecy and all.
ngl a bunch of the lines in that piece came from this yandere!gojo wip that's still in the drafts. basically gojo wants a non-sorcerer to play house with and he's ecstatic about this whole "relationship building" thing. he has no hobbies bc everything is easy for him, but his personality - and the circumstances - make winning your love an actual challenge that he can have fun with.
but internally his logic is actually kinda sad and understandable. gojo is worried he'll go insane like geto did. lose all sympathy for regular people, and for other sorcerers, too - maybe his own students.
and if gojo loses it, who's going to stop him?
if gojo loses it, and gives up on humanity like geto did, then what was the point of killing geto in the first place?
that can't happen if he has a non-sorcerer lover. and honestly? i do think gojo genuinely does like people, in the general sense. he likes getting specialty sweets and playing baseball. he takes his students out for meals. the memories we see of his youth? him in the arcade, walking home from school, eating out with his friends.
i think he likes ordinary, mundane things a lot, even if he loves the other parts of his life. he probably loves bugging baristas and fast food employees and passerbys in his life. he is lonely at the top, but with regular people, he can pretend he isn't.
it's tragic, but in a way, it's also an issue of his own making. i don't buy gojo's whole "you can admire a blooming flower, but you can't ask it to understand you" crap. gojo, loneliness and isolation are a part of the human condition. you are NOT the first or only person who feels this way. i'm optimistic that he could get through it if he tried... if gege didn't have it out for him LMAO
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cesium-sheep · 9 months
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something feels very bad and it feels like it's in my brain but my body's been shutting down for days so it's probably that. no telling if it's a proportionate emotional response to a terrible experience or a neurological symptom of being Precariously Ill.
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flamesignite · 22 days
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Tick tock, Tick tock, Tick tock.
The clock Is ticking, it won’t be long now. just a few more seconds that feel like almost hours.
It’s been three days since the magic hit him, and he had more memories that came back from the last two days of having this. Although things must come to an end, they always do, but some things come back to bite you.
Wonder why that is? Memories come back like clockwork, but they come back so fast that you see so much at once it overwhelms you.
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These memories roll so fast to the point where it hurts Roy’s head, it overwhelms him to the point where too much information processing at once causes him to wince. He grips his head as a headache starts to form, it's a throbbing pain the more memories that flash in his brain.
War, anguish, regret, guilt, those emotions hit him like a train. He can’t stop the feelings that make him feel ill. It’s too much to bear, the sins, the BLOOD stained on his hands.
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He remembers it, the Ishval massacre, it all comes back to him so fast that he feels like he’s reliving it all over again. It hurts, the pain, the guilt that he went through, through it all. He couldn’t handle it the first time living through it, why would he handle it this time?
He didn’t, it caused him to fall to the ground, holding his head with both of his hands as flashes of blood, fire, buildings collapsing thanks to his hands. He remembers each face of the people he killed. He could NEVER forget those faces; they never forgot his.
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He remembers all his friends he had once forgot, he remembers Hughes, every single memory, all of the time they spent at the academy, the time that they spent together in Ishval, the moment he got shot by Heathcliff, up until the final moments where Hughes died.
He came back? Wait, that doesn’t make sense! Everything is a blur, he remembers Riza, everything they’ve been through together, Havoc, Breda, Falman, Fuery, Edward, Alphonse, Miya, Lily, Lelouch, Yugi, every single person he had come to contact with in his own world.
He remembers his childhood back when he was a kid again, spending time with Miya as they play and spend time together at their usual spot, going on adventures, there was a promise that he remembers they made and then a flash.
He remembers Lily, her feelings for him were more than friendship, his own feelings were still confusing, but he wanted to be there for her and spend more time with her and get to know her deeper, then a flash.
He remembers Lelouch and the time that he helped him and let him stay with him, his true name, then a flash.
He remembers Yugi when he found him outside his home, taking him in, letting him stay till they catch the muggers, the memories of Yugi living with him, them spending time together and then Yugi admitting his feelings to him, and then another flash.
More memories, flashes of all that he went through up until he made it into a new world. Where he met his newfound lover Atem and his friends, Yami and Mana. He met them both by chance and got to know them a little better, getting better acquainted and becoming close friends with them both another flash.
Memories of the first meeting with Atem, spending times together, learning about each other, starting to fall for each other.
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Then Roy sees flashes of the other pushing him away when Roy admits his feelings for him. The images show Atem, but it’s not actually him, it’s someone else entirely, he kisses him, telling him that this is what Atem really feels for him.
He tells him what the one known as the SNAKE did to Atem, tells him every little detail, nothing was left out. He’s finally done telling him what needs to be said and kisses him again, before Atem comes back from being trapped inside his own mind. He doesn’t even realize they are kissing till he’s opened his eyes.
He asks what was going on, Roy says what happened, and he watches as Atem flees from the scene with Roy running after him. He takes a bit to find him till they are at the point where they are at the park, he remembers that scene from the other night, he see’s it fully happens, just as he imagined before, he rewatches it again in his head.
Watching him bawl from when he said I love you, Atem. Four words the other would never get back.
Fast forward to the moment where Roy buys him a camera and the scrapbook, Roy watches as Atem smiles so happily, and they take their first picture together on the couch with a wine glass in each of their hands with the blankets covered with them.
All of the memories up until now, return in a flash, he's still on the ground in pain. It feels like his heart is going to be burst, he can't breathe. He coughs, gripping his chest as his heart race increases.
He remembers the fact that he had no memories before, but the old memories all flashing through his mind cause way more pain than he had expected.
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All of the flashbacks are too overbearing and he hisses in pain. "What's going on..? I can't.. I can't.." He chokes softly, eyes are shut close. He can't think or breathe, that's what he's trying to word out, but the words can't be finished.
He was suffering, suffering through his regrets and memories again.
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keeps-ache · 8 months
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hm. i do not remember the screenshot being this big hfvsh
#wip#i like this one the best and also.. it might be the best one Lmaofhvs#[points] its the He#this is also very nearly the final product hvfhs#i'm just gonna colour them a bit and then leave it at that :)#(i'm doing an expression sheet again :3 :D)#i'm drawing each of these individually unlike how i did with the bl.s ones cuz his funkin Hair likes to catch me out hbvfsh#//anyway i've been working on this thing for nearly a week ???#'keeps why' i have been. writing#i do So enjoy infodumping about this project hvfhs#plusss putting it in a little booky means people don't have to be bothered with me looping back and over myself lol :>#i just dunno where i wanna put it lol#wattpad makes the most sense.. but also mm i dunno hfhsh#i haven't really used it in forever...#oh i should update it though fr fr#/also Geeeeez what is happening to my writing HFH#like one day i can't stop overusing the world 'occasionally' and then next i sound sort of obnoxious overusing synonyms and stuff lol#though you know what it Has gotten easier to just get stuff down (even when my brain is pretty much dead !!) when i just ignore everything#i forget about hfvhs :D#cuz i forget like every 15th word and it screws w/ the flow but if i do [this] with a similar word for later it's so good :DD#/also why can i Never remember the word Conscience lmao#that's a little bit of a funny one to always be losing hvfsh#//anywho... woo.... :33#i'm gonna go do my stuff now... and prolly sneak a soda.... and if i do i'll prolly be back ranting because that's what caffeine does to me#Loll#have a very empty brain recently. it Has been full of lovey doveyness tho so not bad not bad hfvhs :D#okay bbbye now toooodles ciaaaoo see ya .u./
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naomiknight-17 · 11 days
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My brother said something the other day about how no-one could prove if the current anti-Israel boycotts are actually making an impact cuz there could be other reasons people aren't eating at McDonald's or whatever
But besides the fact that there are many articles easily find-able online saying that the companies are aware of and feeling the impact of such protests, and some are even making some changes, I needed to make a point to him about why I participate in boycotts whether they're successful or not
But my brother tends to get annoyed and stop listening whenever I talk real politics, so I tried to make a really simple analogy
Let's say there's a man outside our house, and he is just beating people to death with sticks. Not people from our neighborhood, but still, people. We can't call the cops to stop him, because they think he's doing a great job. And we can close the blinds and ignore him, but he's still there and we know it.
And he has a big pile of sticks, so when one breaks he can get another to beat the next person to death with
So one day you have to go outside and the man turns to you and says, "Hey. Can you pass me a stick?"
And maybe it doesn't matter if you do or not. Maybe someone else will give him a stick anyway, or he'll get one on his own, or he'll start punching people
But I don't want to give him a stick.
And maybe I can't stop him, but I at least don't want to help him
At this point my brother tried to make a joke (because that's what he always does in every conversation) and he said something like "What if you don't give him the stick and then he beats YOU to death"
And I was like, "That's a great point, actually, because the Yemeni wouldn't let weapons shipments through their waterways so Israel bombed them."
And the analogy was broken but. I hope I made my point
Maybe I don't have the power as an individual half a world away to stop a genocide. But I at least want to not contribute to it
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kittlyns · 23 days
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One of my sweet younger clients made me cry today cuz she just broke up w her girlfriend and she started sobbing when she told me and I just couldn't handle it
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thinking about my childhood fandoms. will promptly be exploding.
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aberooski · 4 months
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I love my gx winx au and I love that it's just bits and pieces of me being like oh that's fun and not having any semblance of lore or plot. It's purely contained to the character designs I've drawn for the girls.
#it will stay contained to art too it's not something I'd ever write#like I know absolutely nothing about this au of mine but I'm obsessed with it all the same#like I learn something new about it every time I've drawn something#I don't draw a lot for it yall have seen everything I've done and it's usually just a drawing of alexis cuz I love her design lol#but like I'm doing panels for it rn right? and like it's just coming together like the story of what's happening atm#and that's like the only story there actually is rn but it's just falling into place#so I can actually make something of substamce out of this tiny concept I had for a drawing I wanted to try because I had an itch and it grew#that doesn't really happen to me anymore like I haven't felt a spark like that since I wrote OUAD#nothing I've written since has felt the same#and like I said this isn't something I would write into a fic or anything it would just be too much but it's really everything to me rn#something I can come back to and dip my toe in whenever I really feel like I need a spark again and it just makes me happy#I grew up with 4kids winx club so another reason I'd never write anything for real is because I refuse to watch any other version#like I've tried I just can't do it my mind rejects any other version so I only know the universe to a point anyway and but that was my thin#it made me so happy as a kid and it still does now like those are my girls and they mean the world to me and being able to play#within that space with other characters I'm obsessed with and combine into something that miraculously works is amazing#I need to draw more stuff for this au I guess is my whole point#I need to see what other things can..... bloom....... (heh) within that space and what will just manifest before me#I need that something to make me feel that spark again because I don't want to lose it forever and I think I'm starting to find it again#life has just been knocking down over and over lately and it's destroyed so much of my mental state and honestly randomly deciding to try#and actually draw actual stuff for this au has been so healing. I almost feel lighter#it feels stupid amd silly to say but it's true#abby's just rambling don't mind her
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ifyougoillfollow · 2 years
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real talk tho i know there's exactly zero (0) chance of romantic erasermic ever being canon, but i'd just like to put it out there right now in no uncertain terms that if it ever somehow does happen i'm FUCKING suing
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killuaisaprincess · 9 months
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happy new years to the person who stalked and bullied me with their 1,000 plus twitter followers while I had like 30 lol
Stillll was the best thing that ever happened to meeee NOT JOKING
THANKS FOR HELPING ME BECOME MY TRUE SELF ALMOST THREE YEARS BABY OF BEING TRUE ME
AND HAPPY NEW YEARS FOR EVERYONE ELSE LOOK AT THE PRECIOUS BABEY PRINCESS 🥺🥺🥺🥺 I AHHHHHHHH
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#personal#AND THIS WAS MY OG ACCOUNTS#Where I had more followers in the span of a few months vs now where it’s been years#it really proves the numbers aren’t everything#I’m so much happier here as I am now#And it’s so funny it’s thanks to some hater lol who’s account that I know of doesn’t exist anymore#though for all I know they’re dedicated to their cause and was one of the guest anon haters on ao3 till I turned them off#At this point I've spent more time as Qutie than Q by a long shot#I'll always be grateful for her getting me started but I love who I am now#I wouldn't be confident happy me without that asshole it's so funny how they tried to get rid of me but oopsie poopsie#They just made me stronger#It genuinely brings me so much joy to do what I love so much#CUTE KI IN DRESSES GONKI#AHHHHHH#And not have that anxiety loooming over me of wanting to fit in but not fitting in cuz I don't like kg I don't like main fandom#and praying my tag blocker saves me and I will keep silent on some things I like and believe in and#yeah I should apologize in my authors tag for writing too much of my niche of G carrying Ki and yeah#I'm so scared of antis and oh no ect ect I look back at her like whooo#Like whooo are uuu all that anxiety? Now my only anxiety is hate comments and that’s cuz of RSD BUT I WILL NEVER STOP WHAT I LOVE#I'll always be grateful for her but it's funny how in three years I went from no confidence me to someone who I AM MY NUMBER ONE FAN#DAMM I LOVE MYSELF not that that happened overnight but! Was a slow crawl but at the least! FULLY Since 2022 esp end of year! I LOVE ME DAM#And this no confidence thing it goes much further back then my blog too so anon changed my life#It's funny how just one person made me course correct and now I'm the person I am today and I love me I don't know how much time I have lef#But I'll spend it doing the things I love I still get depressed and sad from time to time and think everyone hates me but it's like RSD and#Depression it can't always be perfect but I'm so happy and confident most the time I just love what I do#Anon hate is never right I hate shit with my whole being and I've never once thought hmm let me send hate it doesn't make sense to me#And I still get harrasssed by these antis and some bad apple kg people and they don't offer me shit but a headache so I don’t want moreeee#But it's kinda funny how grateful I am towards this hater literally changed my life thank u if your out there man my lady non binary pal#So yeah I unironically sit back and thank them sometimes#IM SO HAPPY I GET TO DO WHAT I LOVE AND LOVE MY KI AND MY GONKI AND AHHHHHHHH
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devil-changmin · 9 months
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again, in tags, and dec 18 tw
#i know ppl sensationalize 'let me out' way more than 'elevator' because its much more on the nose#even in the title#and like it has 2x as many listens on spotify so i know ppl are just listening to it cuz theyre like oh what is this#but bro#if depression is part of ur life experience and u listen to elevator#its like#shit#and like ive had depression for so long and it was untreated for SO long that i think it rly rly hits in my personal experience#and like jonghyun was so honest with his emotions and he felt everything so strongly#and i think a moment like let me out is much more like#thats when youre angry and fed up with yourself and with everything and you just want to be DONE youre just tired and youre like fucking le#take a break from this#but elevator is so poignant because it feels so much like the bottom of the well#like when you dont really feel anything#youre on your back in a dark whole staring at the pinprick of the sky#to the point that he's even detached from the self#he is seeing his reflection as if it is someone else#and saying how long have you been that tired? how long have you been that sad?#and to look at yourself and say 'i don't know you' but also 'you know you cant go on like this anymore right?#like bro#i wish i could verbalize like how insanely like#i mean hes an artist he encapsulated the thought in a very poignant and concise way#its just so insane to think how many people listened to those words and were still surprised by what happened#idk#anyway#i miss him
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Kamen Rider Geats episode 30 poorly summarized via memes with as little context as possible:
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wrecking · 1 year
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edit: i ended up just ranting abt like the current vibe™ in the tags... sorry abt that but like also whatever i don't care anymore
#d#my food therapist really said the most real thing on planet earth when she said i'm meeting me at the same time everyone else is#i feel like a cringey overzealous emotionally dumb teenager who's a total embarrassment to everyone around me while i'm trying 2 say fuck i#cuz like this is the first time in my entire life i feel like i get to actually explore my identity and do like normal young people things#and i feel just. so so exposed in the sense that everyone is watching me make a fool of myself without a single shred of self-awareness#and it makes me so fucking mad cuz like i'm finally happy with myself!! i'm finally starting to feel like a fully formed person#instead of a 2d projection or an object or something monstrous hiding in the shadows because that's how i've spent until now imo#and like. it's hard to emotionally make peace with the fact things in my social life are changing because like. there's some part of me#that thinks that maybe if i stayed in that miserable place that maybe i wouldn't have any of the problems i have now#and like my life is a lot better. and i know that and i wouldn't change a thing. but like emotionally i guess i'm just#processing it as a fault of mine to have changed bc it's changing my relationships to others#and this isn't about any one specific thing like i've been having lots of small growing pains with a lot of ppl in my life rn i just am lik#there's a lot happening to me rn emotionally so i feel like everything i do is a fuckup and i'm just bracing for more people to go ig#which might happen or it might not and tbh either is ok at this point. i need to do this in order to live i think#idk why i'm even rambling about this i just have a lot of thoughts and i want to share them i guess. not like it does anything but like#what else is this app for at this point lmfao i barely even want to talk on here anymore because i feel like everything i say on here is#just pointless. i'm thankful i have a strong support system rn cuz genuinely i don't know what i'd do if i didn't like#i feel like everything is so much more emotionally Big to me on E and it's kind of hard trying to figure out how to manage it#like i'm basically finally getting to be me. for worse AND for better. and i just am like. insecure on some level i guess#not even over my appearance tbh i've kinda made peace with that. moreso my personality and what things i share with others#this whole post is so wholly unnecessary but i feel like i'm going to go insane if i don't get this out of my head#i've genuinely been avoiding talking about my emotions or my private life on here because i don't exactly feel safe on here anymore#which is like great. love it when my primary outlet for like. socially interacting with people casually gets compromised i love it#i literally softblocked like 30 ppl off of here so i could talk abt my weird sex stuff and my body and my deeper thoughts with ppl i trust#and then i still am too conscious about it! this always happens when i make a blog for myself to talk on#maybe i'm just not meant for talking abt things
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livingprophecy · 1 year
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bruh what was sab s2
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indig0trolls · 1 year
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