#but I don’t have to listen to it to know it’s better than dear evan hansen

[irlwakko]

i have a confession to make. on that bestmusicalworldcup thing there are musicals in there that I haven’t even heard of, but I just hate whatever musical they’re up against SO MUCH that I vote for them by default

[cosyvelvetorchid]

Flu (Tommy being sick and Buck being his little nurse)

Please enjoy a little flu fluff 😊

*****

Tommy looked like shit. Buck didn’t tell him that, of course, but he thought it. His skin was clammy and sallow, bags under his eyes big enough that an airline would charge him extra to take on board, and glassy, red-rimmed eyes.

“I’m fine Evan.” He said when Buck asked him for the third time if he was alright. Buck wasn’t at all buying it.

“You’ve barely eaten anything on your plate.”

“I’m just not that hungry.” He replied.

“You sure?” Buck asked again causing Tommy to huff.

“Yes, Evan I’m-“ His eyes widened and his hand slapped his mouth. A guttural heave came from his throat as he stood up and immediately bent over the sink to empty his stomach of what looked like, by the volume of it alone, everything he’d ever eaten. Ever.

Buck ran to him immediately to rub his back, comforting him through it. Tommy tried to wave him away with his hand but Buck was having none of it. He continued to rub Tommy’s back until he was done.

Tommy stood upright , looking worse than before, and grunted. He had begun shaking and Buck was done respecting his insistence that he was fine.

“Tommy, you are clearly sick.“

“M’fine” he protested as he held on to the sink for dear life.

“No, babe, you’re not.” Buck argued. Tommy opened his mouth to protest but Buck got in there first. “Listen, I know that you’ve spent so long in your life having to take care of yourself, probably from far too young of an age than you should have had to. So I get that letting someone take care of you is difficult. But Tommy, taking care of you isn’t a chore for me. You’re not a burden, okay. I want to take care of you. So, if you can’t let me for your sake, then please let me for my sake. Because it would make me feel a whole lot better, and worry me a whole lot less.”

Tommy turned to look at Buck, his eyelids feeling heavier by the second. He reached out and cupped Buck’s shoulder.

“I’m sick.” He admitted in a meek tone that made Bucks heart hurt.

“I know, baby. C’mon, let’s get you upstairs to bed.” He slid an arm around Tommys waist as he threw his around Bucks shoulder. Slowly they made it up the stairs and Buck gently deposited him on the side of the bed.

He bent down and removed Tommys shoes and socks, then reached up and unbuttoned his shirt, sliding it off his shoulders and throwing across the room into the hamper. Tommy shivered and held onto himself.

“We’re almost done, baby, then we’ll get you warmed up. Can you stand?” Tommy reached out and held onto Bucks shoulders for leverage and slowly stood up. Buck unbuckled and pulled down his jeans then gestured for him to sit back down before removing them from his lower legs.

He pulled out a pair of sweats and a T-shirt and helped him into them, then pulled back the covers to let Tommy get in. He laid back onto the pillows and pulled the covers tightly too his chest in an effort to warm up.

“Where are you going?” He asked Buck as he walked to the door.

“I’ll be back in a second, I promise.”

He returned to the bedroom a few minutes later with supplies.

“Okay. We have water, asprin, electrolytes, and a bucket in case you need to be sick, so you don’t have to worry about making it to the bathroom.”

“But the sink.. I should have cleaned it.”

“Don’t worry about that, babe. I got it. I got you, okay? Just rest.”

“Will you stay with me for a little bit?” Tommy asked, his voice getting weaker but the minute.

“Of course I will.” He lifted up the covers on the other side of the bed and slid inside. He lifted his arm to allow Tommy to snuggle into him with his head resting on Bucks chest. Buck kissed the top of his head and traced lines up and down Tommy’s back with his fingertips.

“Evan?”

“Yeah?”

“I know it’s probably the least romantic setting to say it for the first time, but.. I love you. Thank you for taking care of me.”

Every corner of Buck’s body filled with warmth at hearing those words. Those 3 words had been on the tip of his own tongue for the last month, but he’d been scared to say it. He’d rushed into every other relationship he’d ever had and he didn’t want to do that with Tommy. So he decided to wait before saying anything; give himself time to feel it and allow what they had to develop.

But hearing those words from Tommy’s lips made him feel like he could just float away in a breeze.

He squeezed Tommy a little tighter and planted another kiss on the top of his head.

“I love you, too.” Buck spoke quietly into his hair. “Thank you for letting me.”

[quintessenceofdust88]

👵🏻👵🏻👵🏻👵🏻👵🏻👵🏻👵🏻👵🏻👵🏻👵🏻 (10 because i need a even number and i love her so much!)

Thank you sooo much for counting for me in advance hehe

But full disclosure: you got two bonus sentences bc I figured it was a better place to stop it <3 I hope you enjoy it, darling! --

Evan is adorably nervous all the way from the airport to Nonna's home; his leg is bouncing in the passenger seat of their rental car as he eagerly stares out the window, for once being the one to listen to Tommy’s rambling as he shows him places he used to go to as a child. When Tommy finally parks in front of Nonna's yellow house (it's been yellow all of Tommy's life, and he has renovated the paint job for her more times that he could count, both on summers off as a teenager and on his visits during his adult life), Evan bites his lip, looking at Tommy with eyes full of dread.

“What's wrong, sweetheart?” Tommy asks him, caressing his cheek gently, and Evan looks down at the paper bag full of bread loaves he insisted on bringing Nonna (even though Tommy coming back has toned down the baking, it hasn't stopped it entirely, to Tommy's own delight. Evan's baking is really good), claiming that 'Bobby said you can't meet someone's parents empty-handed, and that's what your Nonna is to you, isn't she?'. 

‘It’s just… What if she doesn’t like me?” He asks, and there’s a genuine fear there; in the three weeks since they’ve gotten back together, Tommy’s learned how deep Evan’s fear of not being liked runs, and constantly wants to kick himself for not noticing it before. “I know how much she means to you, and if she doesn’t like me…”

“Evan,” He says gently, stopping his spiraling. “You mean a lot to me too, okay? It’s not an either/or situation. And Nonna will love you, I just know it. Don’t worry, baby”

Tommy looks at him expectantly; they won’t leave the car and go inside until Evan’s ready, and he waits patiently for about a minute or two. Then his boyfriend takes a deep sigh, gives him a small smile and opens the door to the cold Indiana morning. 

He is practically giddy as he takes Evan’s free hand in his and walks the few steps that separate them from what Tommy considers his real childhood home (the house he lived with his father was just that: a house. Nonna was home; Nonna was comfort; Nonna was love) and rings the door bell. 

Nonna must have been eager for their arrival, because she opens the door in less than a minute. The sight of his grandmother in her bird-patterned apron, waist-lenght gray hair in a tight well-done braid that drapes over her shoulder and blue eyes sparkling with joy warms Tommy’s heart. 

“Tommasino!” She exclaims with a smile, beckoning him down for a hug, and Tommy bends over and wraps his arms around her small frame, closing his eyes in delight. God, he missed her. “I missed you so, bambino! Let me look at you!”

Nonna takes his face in her hands, and Tommy smiles at her as she takes his expression in. Something must satisfy her, because she hums pleasantly and gives him two affectionate slaps on the cheek. 

“You look well, tesoro” She says softly, and then her eyes travel to Evan, who’s standing shyly behind Tommy, his shoulders hunched as if he’s trying to make himself smaller. “And I can see why. You must be Tommy's Evanino, no? I’ve heard so much about you, my dear!”

Tommy takes a step back, letting Evan approach his grandmother. He looks shyly at her, and offers her the hand that isn’t holding his bag.

“Hello, signora Lucciola. It’s so nice to meet you; I’ve heard a lot about you as well” He tells her, and Nonna ignores his hand entirely, going for a hug instead. 

Tommy can see the exact moment Nonna’s hug works its magic; the tension that was on Evan’s shoulders seems to vanish away, and his smile grows bigger and relieved. Tommy has always named it ‘the Rosa Lucciola effect’, the uncanny ability his grandmother has of making people feel comfortable. Evan looks at Tommy from over Nonna’s shoulder, and Tommy gives him a small shrug, as if to say ‘I told you so’.

“Ohhh, Tommaso, he is handsome and polite! Don’t you dare let this one escape again, capsice?” She says cheekily, giving the same affectionate pats to Evan’s cheek, and both of them let out a surprised chuckle. "But you, Evan, don't let me hear this 'Signora Lucciola' non-sense again, you hear? It's Nonna to you"

-- Seriously, Nonna Rosa owns my heart so much! Again, I hope you like it, darling! I certainly loved writing it ♥ (Just a reminder that I'm taking emojis if you guys wanna make me write!)

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Semi Finals

Propaganda why Tony Stark is insufferable:

Super long, sorry lol

Thinking about how in Homecoming when Peter accidentally caused that boat to get split in half because the Vulture’s gun exploded and Tony was acting like as if Peter was completely in the wrong for going there just because he did it without his permission. He was acting like as if Peter was out of line and “disobeyed him”, trying to act like his father. And then I remember how in CACW he’s the one who scouted Peter in the first place just because he saw he might be useful against a personal squabble between him and Captain America despite knowing that he was a kid and he’s just now acknowledging how dangerous it is because Peter “acted on his own”

Completely hijacking Peter’s superhero story and trying to control his every move (Training wheels protocol and baby monitor thing he put in the suit), acting like Peter should’ve known that Tony would send someone in despite the fact that he’d been ignoring him for 2 months since Civil War and not keeping him updated on anything!!

How the hell is peter supposed to know Tony is going to listen to him when he treats him like a kid instead of a superhero when it’s convenient for him? And when Tony loses his temper after Peter says he’s 15 not 14 like “the adult is talking” bitch he could literally flatten you without your suit!!!

I guess in a way he is acting like a father but like the absentee kind. He’s more like a sperm donor father trying to act like he has any rights over Peter’s life smh.

It’s not that reprimanding Peter for the situation is bad, but the way he makes it seem as if Peter is irredeemable as if Tony wasn't a literal weapons dealer lmfao. He could’ve said what was the truth about it without completely invalidating him saying shit like “no thanks to you” after Peter asked if everyone is okay when it’s literally thanks to Peter finding a lead on those guys in the first place that they were even noticed and it’s not like the FBI being there could’ve in no way caused a similar situation.

And then near the end of the movie when he’s getting crushed by the building rubble screaming and crying for someone to help him where the fuck is Tony?? That scene just proved that he never needed Tony’s suit in the first place to be Spider-Man since he had to use 100% his own strength to lift it off of him. I know he would’ve found the motivation even if Tony hadn’t been involved in the first place to give him the suit, take it away from him and have the words “if you’re nothing without the suit you shouldn’t have it“ echo in his head. Why did Tony even take the suit away? Like as if he expects Peter to stop being spoderman without it??? Holy fuck. This is why you don’t make it out of endgame /j /srs.

When Tony took this suit away from Peter he was like “God I sound like my dad“ shouldn’t that be a red flag to him? Wasn’t he literally just saying that he wished his dad was better than he was?? Lmfao

Tony is so annoying. When they first meet he straight up bullies Peter into fighting for his personal bullshit, insults and objectifies Aunt May in front of him, spits into his trashcan and is in general being pushy af. He blackmails Peter when he doesn’t wanna come to Germany with him AND HE DOESNT EVEN EXPLAIN WHY HE WANTS HIM TO COME. Uncomfortable vibes lol.

Tony being the one to tell peter “if Captain America wanted to hurt you he would’ve” when Peter was trying to state his case, yet HE’S also the one who put Peter in harms way when he didn’t even want to go with him???

Telling Peter that he should stick to being a “friendly neighborhood Spider-Man” (stealing his thing once again) when that’s what Peter _was_ doing before Tony took him out of his zone and filled his head with grander things to be apart of….bitch? Die. Ohh waaaait (jkjk) but yeah

There’s the usual “he’s a war criminal who only felt bad about it when he realized his weapons were killing white Americans as well as Arab people” reason, and also he’s just super annoying. You had to be there for the original Avengers shitty dialogue a la “we have a Hulk” that had Tumblr in a vicious chokehold. Also he was supposed to FINALLY go away after destroying all his suits in Iron Man 3 but he just… didn’t! Which is bullshit.

Portrayed as a hero because? He chose to no longer mass produce war weapons and bombs after suffering the consequences. Huge hypocrite. Doesn't care about anyone but himself. Will backstab people if they believe in human rights when it's inconvenient to him. Seen as a hero while he's the personification of privileged people saying they're not privileged

Tony is so annoying. When they first meet he straight up bullies Peter into fighting for his personal bullshit, insults and objectifies Aunt May in front of him, spits into his trashcan and is in general being pushy af. He blackmails Peter when he doesn’t wanna come to Germany with him AND HE DOESNT EVEN EXPLAIN WHY HE WANTS HIM TO COME. Uncomfortable vibes lol.

Tony being the one to tell peter “if Captain America wanted to hurt you he would’ve” when Peter was trying to state his case, yet HE’S also the one who put Peter in harms way when he didn’t even want to go with him???

Telling Peter that he should stick to being a “friendly neighborhood Spider-Man” (stealing his thing once again) when that’s what Peter _was_ doing before Tony took him out of his zone and filled his head with grander things to be apart of….bitch? Die. Ohh waaaait (jkjk) but yeah

She’s a hypocrite who is ready to restrict the freedom of others when they make one mistake, but when he makes a mistake he figures he’s able to handle himself

Propaganda why Evan Hansen is insufferable:

just. oh my god. i cant put it into words. hes horrible im sure the rest of the world can find better ways to explain it than me

he lies to a grieving family about having been their dead son’s best friend. he does a bunch of patently awful things to either keep up this lie or benefit from it. he is portrayed as the good guy oh poor little guy he just has anxiety THE ENTIRE TIME

Lying creep

Lies about having been friends with a suicide victim so he can get in the pants of said victim's sister. The narrative excuses it and gives Evan no consequences for his actions because he's uwu anxious sadboi. What more is there to say? Other than the fact Ben Platt looked far too old to play a teenage boy so the film version is downright disturbing.

[thedvilsinthedetails]

What each marauder’s fav musical would be (in my opinion):

James - beetlejuice (chaotic af, funny and happy ending…)

Regulus - Jekyll and Hyde (thought provoking, sad ending also he’d find ‘bitch bitch bitch’ funny bc that’s lowkey exactly what the ppl at functions he has to attend are like. Also he loves ‘bring on the men’ and I won’t accept questions and if ur confused about the name, it’s exactly what it sounds like.)

Remus - Hamilton (he just…would love it.)

Sirius - Six (no question. And he would sing ‘Don’t lose ur head’ at the drop of a hat. He defo learnt the dance to ex-wives and six finale)

Peter - Dear Evan Hansen (he just gives me those vibes like he genuinely would love it and I love that 4 him)

Barty - Heathers (pretty sure this was in like one of my first posts too but he would LOVE heathers.)

Evan - Moulin Rouge! (OMG this one was actually hard icl I couldn’t think of one for ages but I actually think this is perfect for Evan. He definitely prefers like plainer style of stuff and shit and pretends not to like musicals but he goes excited like a puppy dog with proper heart eyes if you show him the absolutely over decorated stage they perform moulin rouge on. And you best believe he knows all the lyrics of ‘Firework’ by Katy Perry but no no my friend it’s not because he listens to her, in fact he’d probably be confused about the annoying pop song arrangement of ‘the song from moulin rouge’ also he loves the song mashup bit in ‘backstage romance’ that they dance to (if you don’t know what I mean then play this song but skip to 2:30 bc the start of the song won’t make sense without the entire plot detailed to you) because I say so because everyone does because it’s impossible not to.)

Mary - Anastasia (look I will not be accepting slander of this musical and neither would Mary. It is a masterpiece.)

Lily - Jesus Christ Superstar (fucking love this musical and only the best for Lily Evans. She would love it because I said so.)

Pandora - Hadestown (thought provoking, gorgeous music, based off a Greek myth. Just yes. Also I can picture her humming Orpheus’ tune but especially the extended bit in ‘wait for me’ )

Marlene - Les Misérables (ok so I know this might seem like an odd option for her but hear me out hear me out…Marlene attempting to perform all the parts in ‘one day more’ and blasting ‘Do you hear the people sing?’ from her phone as an attempt to scare people.)

Dorcas - Phantom of the Opera (the absolute dramatic theme is definitely her jam and she absolutely knows how to play it on every instrument. Like she doesn’t necessarily know how to play an instrument but you can bet she at least knows the phantom’s theme on it.)

my theatre kid side is rlly coming thru in this oops

also if anyone wants to know the specific albums (bc a lot of them have more than one recording) of the musical that I prefer and am thinking of as I write this then check below ‘keep reading’

beetlejuice/hamilton/anastasia all only have one - the original bway cast

Jekyll and Hyde - ‘Jekyll and Hyde: The Gothic Musical Thriller’ (the 1995 one with Anthony Warlow as J/H)

Six - ‘Six: the musical (studio cast recording)’ sorry to the Broadway cast lovers, I prefer the og Brit one bc it feels weird to hear them with American accents to me

Dear Evan Hansen - the original Broadway cast recording, not the movie one

Heathers - Original West end cast. Again sorry to all the ppl that prefer the off broadway one, west end heathers ver till I die, it’s just better like ‘never shut up again’? I say no? I’m sorry it’s just better, no matter how much u say ‘blue’ is better than ‘your welcome’

Moulin Rouge - original Broadway cast, as much as I love Nicole Kidman I just prefer the bway cast recording to the movie recs

Jesus Christ Superstar - ‘Jesus Christ Superstar (Remastered 2005)’ the one with the 1996 London cast, it’s just my favourite album of it because of the song arrangement

Hadestown - original Broadway cast recording (I feel like ppl don’t rlly listen to the concept album anymore bc it’s just so wildly different from how the actual show music ended up sounding, I do actually quite like it but the musical ver is better in my opinion)

Les Mis - holy shit there’s a lot of albums for this one, tbh I’m not thinking of a specific one but maybe the 2010 London recording - the live one(?) I just quite like it but tbh I listen to a diff album each time I swear 😭

Phantom of the Opera - the original 1986 London cast one bc I just prefer it to the movie

[dancingbpierces]

Para → Tea Time With Nana(I know it sucks but.. lol)

Mentioning of Chris Murray, Sam Evans, Arianna, Allison Young (Sam's sister) Flashback with Belle and Lauren. Time Frame → Wednesday night 7:00 PM Location → Brittany's and Chris' house. General Notes →  Brittany have some much needed time with her grandmother and got a job offer of an lifetime!!!

Brittany: was sitting at the kitchen table having tea with her Grandmother who had come to visit her and Ari for a few days. Honestly Brittany was so happy to see her grandmother. It had been almost a year since she saw her. They had made plans to go to Russia to visit. But due to her schedule at work and Ariana doing almost every after school activities it was hard to get out of town. “How is your tea Nana? Is it too hot?” she asked, taking a sip of her tea.

Rose: chuckled softly “It's fine Dear.. don’t worry” she assured her. “Where is my beautiful granddaughter anyways”

Brittany: smiled at the mention of her daughter, sitting her tea cup down. “Oh she is with Sam’s sister. Allison. Every time Allison comes to visit Sam. We can never pry Arianna away from her.” she said with a chuckle. 

Rose: chuckled “I remember when you and Sam were the exact same way. It amazes me how history repeats itself.” she sighed. “It’s okay. I will be here for another day. I will spend time with her then. Even if I have to take Allison with us. I’m gonna spend time with my great granddaughter.” she laughed as she stirred her tea a little. “How is your famous dance studio coming along?! You know I have girl friends that are always telling me when they see you in the newspaper on their tv..?” she asked softly.

Brittany: Nodded her head, “I will let Chris know. So he doesn’t have to worry about picking Ari up from Sam’s place then” she said.  She giggled softly at how excited her grandmother was as she started talking about Brittany’s company and how amazing it is and how she loves bragging over her. “Nana please.. It still needs time to grow more. But It’s getting there…” she chuckled while taking a sip of her tea. 

Rose: chuckled at the mention of Chris and sighed “Good and then maybe you can talk him into giving me his father’s recipe to that pasta sauce that he made last time we all got together.. I won’t rest until I have it” she said dramatically. If you are wondering if hell has frozen over and Chris and Rose are besties. No they aren’t. But they are at a better place than they were when Chris and Brittany were teenagers. She knew she was wrong the minute Chris slammed the door in her face when she tried to get Brittany’s rights over. And ever since  then she tried to stay in her lane and just support Brittany whenever she needed her. She was grateful that Chris was willing to be so forgiven toward her. So she tried to be more understanding and less judgmental when it came to Brittany’s and Chris relationship. Besides she knew Chris was a good dad. In fact she loved seeing them together. But with that being said she had gotten Brittany an opportunity that she knew Brittany couldn’t turn down. Which was why she was here. She knew that Brittany loved her job. But she could tell that Brittany was in a rut when it came to her career. She needed to get Brittany out of this rut she was in. Sure Brittany had her own dance studio and was working with big artists. But She wasn’t touring around the world like she wanted. Instead  It was her students that were getting to do it. “I know.. But I love rubbing it in how successful you are Darling.. They even try to bribe me into talking to you about letting their granddaughters come to your studio after college” she chuckled with a sigh. As proud as she was of Brittany and everything that she had accomplished. She felt like there was more that she should be doing with her amazing career and from hell to high water she was gonna at least try to make it happen. “Listen honey… I know you love your life and your career.. But.. I think you need to get out of her for a while! Experience life.. Arianna is older now.. And you have so many people that would help out if you would ever decide to leave for a while.” she shrugged with a smile. She already knew by the way Brittany raised her eyebrow that she was gonna argue and she just needed to get this out before she could “before you start acting like your old hard headed nana over here. Hear me out.” she said, grabbing her tea as she got up. She grabbed Brittany’s free hand to help her up, leading her toward the couch. “ Life is so short honey.. And you have to live every day as if it’s your last.” she said as she got up to grab Brittany by the hand leading her to the couch for them to sit. “Which is another reason why I had to come see you.”

Brittany: shook her head as her grandmother started asking her about Chris’ fathers recipe. “I am staying out of that. You know the only one who will get that is Ari Nana.” she giggled at her Nana’s dramatics. She  stared at her grandmother as if she lost her mind as soon as she mentioned something about leaving. “Na-” she tried to say before her grandmother stopped her. How could her grandmother possibly think she could leave her daughter? Besides, where would she even go? If she was gonna travel she was gonna make sure her daughter and Chris could go. She sighed softly as she let her grandmother lead her to the couch with their tea in their hand. They sat their cup down as they sat down. “What did you wanna talk to me about?” she asked.

Rose: she sighed taking a sip of her tea before speaking “Well I know someone who is looking for a dancer to tour around Europe for two months with Beyonce” she shouted clapping her hands together. She could see the excitement in Brittany’s face. Which was something she hasn’t seen in a really long time and she already knew Brittany was gonna turn it down due to Ari and missing her too much. “and before you say no.. Beyonce's agent said it was fine to bring your daughter and they even have teachers traveling with them so Ari wouldn’t miss any school work.”

Brittany: couldn’t believe her ears “Beyonce!” she gasped trying to comprehend that THE Beyonce wanted her to be her MAIN dancer! But as excited she wanted to be about all of this. Brittany already knew she couldn’t do it. She had Arianna and there was no way in hell Chris was gonna be okay with Ari missing School even if she would have her school work with her. “Nana.. this sounds nice.. Bu-” she trailed off “Chris would never be okay with being away from Ari that long. and I couldn't ask that of him" she said softly.

Rose: nodded “yes.. Yes.. I know.. But if that’s the case. I could come and get her and bring her back after a few weeks of being with you.” she suggested.

Brittany: thought about it. But she seriously couldn’t be away from Arianna that long either. “I can’t be away from her that long either.. And I-I would miss Chris too..” she admitted. “And I’m telling you Chris wouldn’t be okay with any of this.. “ she shrugged.

Rose: Sighed in frustration she knew Chris would be the biggest roadblock but she really thinks that Chris would be okay with it. Especially since he knew how much and how hard she had worked to get to this point. Chris was annoying but he loved Brittany and he would do anything for her. “Just talk to Chris Brittany… He loves you! He would LOVE this for you. I know I am hard on him. But I know he would do anything for you. Even going to a 10pm dancing performance after he worked a twelve hour shift..” she said, giving Brittany a stern look. “Give him a chance to think about it. Don’t just turn it down Brittany. You may not get this opportunity again.” she warned her.

Brittany: sat back in frustration not knowing what to do at this point. It was Beyonce of all people and in her mind she would be a dumbass to turn this down. And if she took it this would be a dream come true and prove people wrong when it comes to her not having a career even after becoming a teen mom. As she sat there her thoughts kept flashing toward when she had a big blow out with Belle over the fact that Brittany couldn’t find Belle any work. Not because of Brittany. But because no celebrity wanted to work with her because she was hard to deal with.

-Flash back-

Brittany was standing in the front of the studio as Belle was whining and complaining about how Brittany was sabotaging her and her career. Belle has auditioned for so many things and yet not one client has called her to offer or anything. Brittany being her best friend she expected to have the big perks of working with everyone that Brittany got to work with. Like TLC, Chris Brown, Justin Beiber, JLO, and even Taylor Swift. But yet here she was with nothing, while Brittany got everything. Even Lauren and Wendy were getting big opportunities and at this point she was over it. Belle was trying to be nice and understanding but she was done. So what does Belle do when she doesn’t get her way she hits her friends where it hurts. “Maybe if you get your ass out of Chris’ ass You could do your JOB!  News flash Brittany! Chris and Santana are fucking! Just deal with it.” she chuckled bitterly hearing Lauren telling her to shut the fuck up. “NO! She needs to hear it!” she smirked, “ Just because you have no career doesn’t mean you can just go around sabotaging me!.” she continued hearing Brittany’s phone ringing. Belle rolled her eyes and she seen Arianna’s name pop up on her screen

“Awww I guess it’s Brittany’s snot nose bastard child calling” she said ignoring Lauren telling her once again to shut up. 

Brittany stood there as Belle continue to go on and on about what a failure Brittany was and reminding her over and over again that she went to Juliard the best dance school in the country and yet had nothing to show for it but a few music video appearance, some choreography that she created and a dance studio where she was making everyone else’s dream come true but her own. She tried like hell to keep her head held high and remind herself that Belle was just upset because another artist refused to work with her and Brittany wasn’t gonna go out her way to help her. At least not when Belle was constantly screwing herself over. 

 Brittany was about to speak until Belle called Arianna a snot nosed brat and before she could stop herself. She slapped Belle as hard as she could across the face, leaving a red hand print across her face. She ignored the gasp from the other dancers, walking closer to a shocked Belle. “You can say whatever you want about me and my failed accomplishments. Or the fact that I’m not so happy with how close my friend and my boyfriend are right now!  but don’t you EVER! EVER! Talk shit about my child!” She said with tears running down her face. “You’re right Belle! Is that what you wanna hear? That I’m not out there on every stage performing like I have always wanted because I got knocked up at 16?!  How I literally had to give that dream up because being a mom was the most important thing to me?!” She chuckles bitterly, finally looking around to see her students staring at her. This isn’t how she expects her first day back in the studio to go. Brittany just got done sharing dance stages with the likes of TLC and even Chris Brown. But as soon as she got back to reality she was reminded that she still hasn't finished her dream and might not be able to because she is a mom. She thought her best friends would be happy to see her. Not them talking shit about her and she didn’t expect to be reminded once again that no matter what she does in her career she will never have the chance to fully live out her dreams due to the fact she became a mom so young in life. She could feel more tears running down her face and at this point she wanted to be anywhere but around Belle right now. Ignoring the ice cold glare that she was getting from Belle and the sharp pain running through her hand from slapping her. She turned around to wipe away her tears as Lauren gently patted her back.

Lauren felt so bad for Brittany and had enough of Belle. "That's it Belle! You know what Bitch maybe if you would open up your eyes and realize that people don’t like your dumb ass! Then all would be right with the world! Brittany has worked so hard to get you in dancing gigs. But guess what they don’t want to work with you” she gasped dramatically “Shocker right!” she chuckled hearing the students laugh. She could still see that Brittany was shocked at what she just did and felt so bad for her. “You know what.. Belle.. You’re done! Effective and immediately your contract is expired. And if you have a problem. Have your lawyer call ours. You have 2 minutes to get off our property or we will have you physically removed.” she shrugged. Belle Tried to say something but Laruen stopped her with her hand “GO!” she yelled, as she watched Belle storm out like a three year old.

Laruen turned around to comfort Brittany but before she could Brittany was already backing away from her. “Thanks for taking up for me Lauren.. But I-I can’t be here. I need another day.. I’ll call you” she whispered. She turned to her students and sadly smiled at them. They were all giving her comforting smiles and she appreciated them. But she needed some space for a moment.  “I-I got some calls to make.. there’s no classes today.. I’m sorry” she said before turning on her heel without even giving anyone a chance to stop her.

-Present-

Brittany was brought back from her thoughts with the sound of her grandmother telling her to make sure she talks to Chris about it before making a big decision.  She knew her grandmother was right. She needed to talk to Chris about all of this before she even thought about calling the number on her card. The good thing is she had 3 months to decide what she was gonna do. So she could actually think about it herself and then talk to Chris.  Besides she wanted to make sure she was here for Alyssa when she had her son.  “I will grandma..” she smiled sweetly.

Rose:  chuckled, taking a sip of her tea. “ Now enough of that… Can we please watch a movie like old times? I miss those days so badly.” she sighed a little and chuckled

Brittany: smiled brightly at the idea and quickly got up “Sure! I’ll even make your favorite Carmel popcorn and maybe order us some pizza...”

Rose: covered her mouth as she left out an excited laugh “Yes! That sounds so lovely.. “ she said, clapping her hands with excitement before gasping as if she forgot something “Oh and Please make sure they add extra pepperoni with jalapenos… and if they do not put hot honey on it. I will sue them” she teased but was dead serious. .

Brittany: giggled “of course! Of course! Can’t forget that.” she smiled brightly. IF she was honest she was so happy that her grandma was here. After everything that had happened with Belle and the whole Santana situation. She really needed this. She quickly made her way back to her grandma, giving her a big hug “I love you Nana.. Thank you for everything.” she sighed as she nuzzled against her grandma’s cheek forgetting all about Belle and whatever other problems she had in that moment.

Rose: was surprised by the hug but embraced it none to less. “Oh my sweet baby” she singed as she wrapped her arms around her granddaughter “I love you so much and I would move heaven and hell for you” she whispered, kissing Brittany on her head. 

Brittany: felt her tears filling up in her eyes as they embraced. “I know we need to order food and turn on the movie. But can we stay like this for a minute?” she asked.

Rose: laughed softly, squeezing her granddaughter a little tighter “We can stay like this as long as you like my dear.” she whispered.. “As long as you like..”

[starstwinkleplanetsshine]

Daughter of the Sea

Chapter Twenty-Two: The Conversation Canoe (Read on AO3 here)

But before long, dim lights appeared on the horizon and I knew it was time. 

“That’s camp.” I said to the others. The hippocampi got as close to the shore as they could, and after we all said our goodbyes and I thanked them for their help, we swam the rest of the way to shore. I emerged from the water completely dry, but the rest of my friends were soaked and shivering. We made our way to the Big House as quickly and quietly as we could, not wanting to alert the camp harpies. When we stepped onto the glowing porch, the door swung open. There stood Chiron, and as soon as he saw us, relief flooded his face. 

“Thank the gods!” he shouted, and then he saw the state my friends were in. “Oh dear! Come in, come in. Sit by the fire, I’ll get blankets, and then we’ll discuss.” We listened to him, and I followed down the hallway to help him with the blankets. As soon as I got to the living room, I collapsed on the couch. Now out of the water, a wave of exhaustion crashed over me, and I felt like I could sleep for days. 

“Tell me what you learned.” The centaur said. Cady began to fill him in on what happened, with Rosie and Evan interjecting to add anything they saw. I stayed silent. When my friends were done talking, Chiron was quiet for a few long moments before he looked at me. 

“Anything to add, Angie?” 

My friends shifted and stared at me. 

“I…umm…I saw Kronos.” 

The centaurs' eyes went wide. 

“You saw him?” 

“And talked to him.” 

“Oh.” He was trying very hard to not look nervous, but he was failing. His tail swished. “What did the Titan Lord say to you?” 

“He wanted me to join him. I said I wasn’t interested, and then I hit his ship with a giant wave.” I was trying to seem unaffected, but my voice was shaky. Again, Cady gave me a look like she knew there was more to the conversation. Chiron gave me the same one. 

“Anything else you should let me know?” 

I shook my head quickly. “No. Well, he already knew who I was. That was creepy.” 

Chiron nodded. “I’m sure most people in our world do. The second forbidden child of Poseidon in the last few years. Word gets around.” 

The second. The words rang in my ears. 

“Well, congratulations on a successful mission.” Chiron continued. “We’ll have another meeting tomorrow to go over the details of what you discovered. But for tonight, return to your cabins and get some sleep. I’m very proud of you all.” He made eye contact with all of us and smiled, and I squirmed under his gaze. “Oh!” He held up four golden rods that looked like rulers. “Don’t forget your hall passes, don’t want any of you getting eaten by harpies!” 

I opened the door to Cabin 3 slowly, not wanting to wake Percy if he had made it back to camp. I wasn’t sure what time it was exactly, but I knew it was past midnight. 

I had barely closed the door when I felt arms wrap around me and lift me into the air. 

“Thank the gods!” I heard the voice of my brother cry as he buried his head in my neck. “When I got back to camp Chiron told me about your mission. I’ve been worried sick all day!” 

I laughed and hugged Percy back just as tight. “Worried about me? I’ve been worried about you for a week!” 

He finally put me down and let go of the hug, but kept his hands on my arms. “My little sister going on her first big mission without me? Of course I was a wreck!” I wasn’t used to seeing Percy so shaken up, and now that I was getting a better look at his face, he did look rough. I guessed his mission had been pretty taxing, and I made a mental note to ask about it tomorrow. 

“I’m hardly your little sister. We’re the same age!”  

“I’m older than you!” 

“By nineteen minutes!” 

Percy shrugged and laughed. “It counts.” 

I knew he was joking, like we always did about this subject, but after what Kronos had said to me earlier something about his words stung. I had always been second to Percy, even in birth. My smile fell, and he noticed. 

“What’s wrong?” His face was suddenly deeply concerned. 

“Nothing!” I tried to lighten up. “Just tired, that’s all.” 

He gave me a look like he didn’t believe me, but didn’t push it. “Alright, let’s go to bed. But I want a full report on your mission tomorrow, every little detail!” He tried to ruffle my hair, but I dodged his hand. 

I smiled at him as I made my way to my bed, not even bothering to change into pajamas. My clothes weren’t wet, anyways. 

I looked over to where he stood in the middle of the room and held up my hands, ready for our nightly rock-paper-scissors ritual. “Ready?” 

He smiled and shook his head. “Don’t worry about it, I got the lights.” 

I broke into a wide smile as he sent the room into darkness. I think it was the first time Percy had turned the lights off in months. 

“Goodnight, Percy.” I said as I heard him climbing into his bed. “Thanks for waiting up for me.” 

“Of course, Ange. I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

Camp was buzzing the next day. With Percy and Annabeth returning from their super-secret mission and us coming back from ours all within 24 hours, the other campers couldn’t help but ask a million questions. Questions we couldn’t answer, of course, but everyone was glad to see us all come back safely and mostly unharmed. I tried to put on a smile and seem grateful to be back, but those closest to me could tell something was wrong, and they spent all day trying to get it out of me. 

Cady asked to go canoeing with me during free time, and I knew it was just because she wanted to get me alone. Cady didn’t like being anywhere near the water, let alone on it, but she knew it was my favorite place to be. Despite myself, I agreed and soon enough we were paddling out on the gentle waves. 

We were drifting in the middle, me waving and gossiping with some of the naiads, when Cady cleared her throat. 

“Are you okay, Angie?” 

I kept my eyes on the blue, leaning over the side of the canoe. 

“Of course I am.” I tried to sound chipper, but it just came off as fake. I could practically feel Cady rolling her eyes behind me. 

“Ever since we left the Princess Andromeda yesterday, you’ve been off. And don't pretend you’re not, because I can see through you.” 

I finally sat up and looked at her face. It was full of care and concern. Everything in me was screaming to lie and keep my defenses up, to not let her in. 

I decided to come clean. 

“Yeah, okay. I’m not alright.” 

“What happened on that boat?” 

“It’s a ship, actually—” 

“Oh whatever! You and Percy are the worst about that.” 

I cracked a smile at her and she cracked one back before getting serious again. “But really, what happened?” 

I took a deep breath, trying to figure out where to start. “Well, Kronos said some stuff that kind of got to me.” 

She nodded, giving me space to keep going. 

“He wanted me to join him, and gave some…interesting reasons.” 

“What did he say to you?” Her eyes were murderous. 

“He said…he said I could be the greatest demigod to ever live. That I could be more powerful than Percy, that I should be more powerful than Percy, but my father abandoned me. That Poseidon chose my brother instead and gave him the life I deserved. That I’m worthless in the eyes of the gods, but to him I could be great. He told me to turn my back on them, like they turned their back on me. He said that if I joined him, I would be able to become who I’m meant to be.” 

She looked at me for a long moment, like she was studying me. Then she broke her silence with a sigh. “I don’t know about ‘meant to be.’ I know I should put more stock in the Fates, but when you see what I see, I’ve learned it’s less about what's meant to be and more about what is. And what isn’t.” She looked out to the waves and then back at me. “Is that what you want? To become great? Is that what you believe?” 

I shook my head. “I don’t know.” I had never felt more lost in my life, and that was saying a lot. “I don’t think it is.” 

“Well, what do you think about all that?” 

I took a long moment to think, letting my hand trail in the water. I glanced down at the naiads, one of them taking my hand and using it to spin themselves like they were dancing. I smiled down at them, reminded of everything I had been given by this crazy family at camp. Everything I had been given by my father, all the wonderful things from his world. 

But at the same time, the sting of the abandonment I tried to push away persisted. There were also awful things that came from this world, horrible burdens I had no choice but to carry. I had tried to bury those thoughts for a year now, but hearing Kronos say them out loud tore open old wounds. I took another shaky breath and spoke. 

“I believe in my friends. I know that much. Deep down, if I’m honest with myself, I did feel abandoned. Sometimes I still do. My dad explained to me why he did what he did, assured me that he loves me and was trying to protect me. He tells me I have a great destiny ahead, and all my struggles are necessary in order to reach it. And all that’s great, but it doesn't take away all those years of feeling different and alone.” Tears were filling my eyes and spilling out faster than I could stop them. I sat in the canoe and let my sobs erupt out of me, not caring what anyone else thought. I had been holding in so much for so long, that once the floodgates were open, there was no closing them again. After a while I calmed down, and took another shaky breath. 

“I don’t know if the gods care about me.” I continued. “I don’t know if they care about any of us. I think they do. I want them to. But I know we are who we are because of them. And I know we care about each other. And I know that I never want to turn my back on this family.

“His voice has just been in my head all day, and I can’t shut him up.” I finally choked out. I felt so drained, and hopeless, and tired. I had never been that open with anyone in my life, and it left me feeling vulnerable, but strangely strong. Like something about sharing had made me feel a little less alone, regardless of if Cady understood me or not. It felt good to have someone else I could be honest with. 

Cady reached forward and took my hands, and I let her. Usually I pulled away from physical affection from anyone except Percy, since he was the only person I ever let see me struggle, the only person I let comfort me. But Cady and I had been through so much—she was there with me on my very first day of this journey. If anything made me believe in the Fates, it was her. 

She squeezed my hand gently until I looked up at her, only love and gentleness in her eyes. 

"Everyone here is going to tell you that the gods love us,” Cady began, “and that they do things we don't understand because they know more than we do. And that they're busy, but they’re watching us. And they're going to tell you about destiny, and prophecies, and struggle. And Kleos."

She shrugged and looked up to the sky, as if thinking of what to say next. When her eyes met mine, I had never seen them look so certain.

"And that's fine. And maybe it's true. I don't know about anyone else's parents, but I can tell you that I know for sure that my dad loves me. And he loved Lee, and when we saw them all at the winter solstice, and things were tense and horrible, he made a point to find me and Will and Michael and tell us that he cared, and he was watching. You know your dad loves you, don’t you? And he loves Percy. You can feel it.” 

I nodded, a tear rolling down my cheek. She was right, I did know that. 

She squeezed my hand again. 

"Replace Kronos’ voice, his awful voice, with one you know. With your dad’s, your mom’s, Percy’s. Telling you that you are strong, and capable, and powerful, but not because you were meant to be, in another life, but because you are. In this one.” 

I managed a smile, and then leaned forward and wrapped my arms around her. I held her tightly, not knowing how else to show my gratitude. 

“It’s just so hard sometimes. I don’t feel very strong.” 

“I know.” she said simply, holding me tightly. “But you don’t have to feel something all the time to know that it’s true.” 

We stayed there for a long while, just holding each other, until the dinner conch rang. We paddled back in silence and walked to the dining pavilion hand in hand. When we walked up the steps, I felt someone ruffle my hair from behind me, and I knew there was only one person alive who would dare to do that. 

“Where have you two been? I’ve been looking for you everywhere—” 

I whipped around and threw my arms around my brother, squeezing him tight. A few of the campers passing by gave us strange looks—usually the only time people saw me make physical contact with someone else was when I was pushing them down during sword sparring—but I didn’t care. 

“Whoa! What's this about?” Percy asked while laughing. 

“No reason.” He gave me a strange look, and then noticed how red and puffy my eyes were. I could never hide when I had been crying. 

“What's going on? Are you okay?” 

“I am now.” I shot a smile to Cady. “I’ll tell you tonight, don’t worry about it.” 

He raised an eyebrow, but let it go, slinging an arm around me and leading me over to our table. We ordered blue soda from the magical goblets and got in line to make our offerings. When it was my turn, I scraped the biggest, ripest strawberry on my plate into the fire. 

“To Poseidon. And Hestia. Thanks for everything.” 

The air around me smelled of salt and a breeze rustled my hair. I looked down into the flames and saw a face smiling back at me. 

The uneasiness in the pit of my stomach was still there, the words of not good enough and second-place and worthless still rung in my head, but I told them to shut up. I pushed them away. A part of me knew the pain of it all would never fade completely, but I could choose to not let it control me anymore. At least a little, day by day. 

As I was walking back to the table I heard a voice in my head, a familiar one I hadn't heard since my fifteenth birthday. A man’s voice, deep yet kind. Like an old sailors. 

“I love you, my daughter. And I’m very proud of you. Never forget that.” 

If anyone saw the tear that rolled down my cheek, no one said anything about it.

[sarahisslytherin]

Hey congratulations on the followers! May i request a young!remus x slytherin!reader where in they kind of hate each other bc of their houses and remus thinks she is selfish etc but then he sees the reader help someone or help sirius and regulus talk or something and his views change? Thank you so much! Have a great day!

wowza, that was harder than i thought it would be. i had to fiddle with this countless times so as not to plagiarize the entirety of 10 things i hate about you lmao. this was super fun to write, thanks so much for the request, zoya. hope you love it!

gryffindor vs slytherin // r.l.

Summary: You’d never quite liked Remus Lupin, and the feeling was mutual. That wasn’t about to change, was it? Contains: Enemies to lovers, but like, fluff. Featuring a background friendship with Regulus Black that kind of just wrote itself, I swear it wasn’t me. A/N: This one’s kinda long so to quote Samuel L. Jackson in the critically acclaimed Jurassic Park (1993), hold on to your butts.

You’d never quite liked Remus Lupin. He and his friends caused nothing but trouble. And you just knew that he was the brains behind every one of the marauders’ practical jokes. Practical jokes almost always aimed at your house.

You’d never minded Black. You got along well with Regulus and though you thought Sirius could learn a thing or two from his younger but much wiser brother, you didn’t mind him. In fact, sometimes he could be quite pleasant, making small talk whenever he popped by to speak to Regulus.

As for Potter, he was a typical jock, self-esteem blown out of proportion, and definitely more irritating than Black. But even so, he still didn’t push your buttons the way Lupin did.

Lupin was a know-it-all, always striving to be top of the class in every subject. Though your house was no stranger to ambition and self-preservation, it never failed to send your eyes rolling back in your head whenever his hand shot up in class.

The feeling was mutual, this much you knew. The hard glares he’d send you in the halls did not go unnoticed. You supposed you’d brought it upon yourself, really, scoffing when he’d go to speak or making the occasional unrefined joke about Gryffindor. But why shouldn't you? His disdain for Slytherin frustrated you more than you’d like to admit. Somewhere along the way, the two of you had gotten used to the tension, often exchanging snide comments, both eager to outwit the other. You’d never admit it but you knew you liked it.

But one thing was for certain, you’d remind yourself: you’d never quite liked Remus Lupin.

The last quidditch match of the season was to take place the following day and you knew you’d get no work done because of it. Which is how you found yourself slipping into the library to get at least most of it done before curfew.

You’d been partnered with Regulus for a Potions assignment and needed to find a specific book. Last you checked, Lily Evans had been hogging it for the better part of the week, so you resolved to finally get your hands on it before someone else did.

Your gaze trailed over every book on the shelf until you finally found it.

“About time, Evans.” You muttered to yourself as you went to reach for it, but soon realized it was up one shelf too high for your stature. “Shit.”

There you were, bouncing up and down, hoping to gain enough impulse to finally reach the damn thing. But it was hopeless, wasn’t it?

“Having trouble, dear?”

You didn’t need to look to know the voice belonged to a highly amused Remus Lupin. You could practically hear the satisfied grin.

“No, actually. No trouble at all. So run along now. Don’t you have a professor’s ass to kiss?”

“Always so crass.” you heard him tut. “Hm, if only there were someone taller around to help with your little predicament.” he sighed as he leaned back on the shelf opposite you.

“Piss off, Lupin.”

“And I should listen to you because?”

You turned to face him as you retaliated. “Because I’ll hex you if you’re still standing here within the next three seconds.”

“Oh, dear.” he feigned worry, “Would you look at that? I’m trembling.”

“You should be.” you hissed as you reached for your wand, but one ‘expelliarmus’ from Remus and you were left defenseless.

“What do you want from me, Lupin?” you threw in the towel with a roll of your eyes.

“Do you ever smile?” he asked, catching you completely off guard. “I know you can, I’ve seen you smile. Especially when you’re dragging Gryffindor’s name through the mud with your fellow snakes.”

“I smile all the time, Lupin.” you assured him, “And I’ll be smiling tomorrow when Slytherin wipes the floor with you lot.”

“Is that so?” he asked in faux concern. “You are aware James is the best seeker Hogwarts has ever seen?”

“Please, more like attention seeker.” you snorted, chuckling to yourself a bit. You could swear you saw him bite down a smile out the corner of your eye.

“You’re impossible.”

“Thank you.”

He reached up for the Potions book, and you feared that would mean it was as good as gone, but to your surprise Remus handed it over to you. Not without a pompous smirk plastered onto his face, of course.

“It wasn’t a compliment, dear.” he crossed his arms as he took in your unnerved expression.

After this less than pleasant exchange, you spun on your heel and began to make your way out of the library. You thought you heard him call after you once more but paid no mind to it.

The halls were pure chaos. Students raced down the moving stairs, dressed from head to toe in their house colors. Normally, you weren’t really one for sports, but Gryffindor vs Slytherin was a match you simply couldn’t miss.

You struggled to make your way through the crowded hallway, carefully weaving your path through a group of fifth years until you reached the Great Hall. You made your way over to the Slytherin table and sat by Regulus.

“You going to the game?” you asked him as you began to scarf down your breakfast.

“Not much of a choice, is it?” he sighed, “Biggest game of the season and all.”

“S’pose so.”

“Have you got that book for our Potions assignment?”

“Yep.” you nodded as you took a swig of pumpkin juice. “Got it last night.”

“On your own? I thought I saw it quite high up on the shelves.” Regulus mused, his lips quirking into a faint smile.

“I might’ve had some help. Okay? Now eat up. We’ve got a long day ahead of us.”

“Alright, Mum.”

The stands were packed, Gryffindor and Slytherin voices overlapping in support of their respective teams. The scores were too close for Gryffindor’s liking, and you watched as Potter and Black zipped across the quidditch pitch, eager to reach a more comfortable margin. James would have to catch the snitch to win this match, and had it been any other seeker, the game would’ve been as good as won for Slytherin.

You cheered on beside Regulus, noting the way he stood stiffly, eyes trained on his older brother’s every move. You knew he hated being put in these situations, where he had to choose between house pride and supporting Sirius.

“Lighten up, Reg!” you shouted, “He gets it! Don’t worry about it! Now, come on, where’s your Slytherin pride?”

You caught sight of the smirk Regulus quickly tried to mask.

“Whooo!” he hollered, and you didn’t care whether it was for Slytherin or for Sirius.

James flew by with all that skill he so often boasted of. He was a talented player, you had to hand it to him. He’d caught sight of the snitch, according to the commentator, and was now picking up his speed as he began his pursuit.

The shouts from the opposite side of the pitch grew deafening, egging James on as he zoned in on his prey. It wasn’t until he was mere feet away that the shouts turned from those of excitement to those of concern, and James felt obligated to turn around.

“And the bludger knocks Black off his broom!”

You looked over to Regulus but found him already pushing his way through the Slytherin alumni on his way to the field, and you didn’t think twice about following suit. Bludgers were no joke. Sirius could’ve been severely injured from the fall.  

When you reached the field Sirius was already surrounded by the coach and his teammates. You watched as Regulus moved to stand by James and assess his brother’s state.

“Sirius?” Regulus asked.

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” Sirius assured him, rubbing his right arm to soothe the pain as he looked around and realized he was circled by concerned faces. “What, are you all here for little old me?”

A collective groan could be heard from every teammate at this and the huddle then dispersed, save for James, Regulus and yourself.

“Sirius, I was this close to catching the snitch!” James berated, running a hand through his wild curls. Sirius didn’t seem to mind. He knew how James got when it came to quidditch.

You extended your hand to Sirius and helped him up.

“You alright, Black?” you double checked with him once he was on his feet.

“Quite alright, love. Thanks for asking.” He gave you an uncharacteristically bashful smile. It was then when you peered over his shoulder and caught sight of a disheveled Remus Lupin making his way to his friends, no doubt after having to shove his way through the sea of red and gold before being allowed onto the grounds. You took it as your cue to leave.

“Alright, I’m gonna head back. Are you coming, Reg?”

Regulus shook his head. “I’m going to stay here a bit, you go ahead.”

And just as Remus had finally reached your little group, you took your leave.

You’d been holed up in your dorm room all evening. The rest of your housemates were throwing a party in the common room to celebrate their victory over Gryffindor.

But you weren’t having any of it. Merlin knows you were the last person to come to Gryffindor’s defense, but in your eyes, it simply wasn’t a fair win. So you decided to skip the festivities altogether.

That was when there was a knock at the door. You walked over hesitantly, not sure who would be on the other side of it, everyone you knew being at the party and Regulus checking up on his brother.

“Who is it?”

“It’s - it’s Remus.” came his quiet voice through the door. If anyone were to ask you, you’d say you opened that door out of sheer curiosity, but deep down you knew it was more than just that behind your actions. You pulled the door open a tad, just enough to get a good look at him.

“What do you want, Lupin?” you asked, but your usual snark was absent.

“Just wanted to congratulate you on the win.” he chirped, his voice a bit hoarse after cheering his friends on at the game. “I was a bit surprised when I didn’t see you downstairs. Thought you’d be celebrating with the others.”

“Yeah, well, it was hardly a fair win, now was it?” you chuckled, not quite used to engaging in niceties with Remus of all people.

“Well, it was technically fair.” he insisted, and you didn’t know whether to marvel at or be annoyed by his ability to turn everything into a debate.

“Oh, shut up, Lupin. You know what I mean.” you huffed as you went to shut the door once again, but Remus’s hand stopped it.

“Wait, that’s  – that’s not it.” he sighed, clearly flustered. “I saw you with Sirius on the field.”

“What about – “

“Just let me finish, dear.” he interjected, his tone unusually desperate, as if trying to recall a speech he’d rehearsed countless times before. As if he’d come down here to the dungeons with a purpose.

“At first, I thought you’d come to mock him or something like it. I don’t know. If I’m entirely honest, I’d gone onto the field with half a mind to hex you.” he snickered a bit at the thought and the further you two ventured into this unknown territory, the quicker you felt your heart beat.

“But then, after you left,” he continued, “Sirius told me that you’d been nothing but kind. That while James was busy obsessing over the game you and Regulus had gone down there to check on him. And – as much as it physically pains me to say this ��� I’m sorry.”

You weren’t quite sure how to respond to that curveball.

“You’re sorry? For what?”

That was when his cheeks began taking on a deeper shade of pink, similar to your own.

“For everything, really. For judging you. For being a pain. For constantly bickering with you. I don’t know why I do it, to be honest.”

“I do.” you offered, and he gave you a puzzled look in return. You weren’t sure where you were going with this, just as nervous as he clearly was.

“You do?”

“Yeah,” you said, stepping out into the dungeon corridor with him. “I think you fancy me, Lupin.”

At this, his eyes widened almost comically, and suddenly you weren’t so sure of your theory anymore. You hadn’t realized you had feelings for him until just now. Sure, you knew you enjoyed bickering with him more than you enjoyed getting along with anyone else. But you’d never read too far into it, certainly not the way you were doing just now.

After a few seconds too many of silence, you spoke again. “Sorry, I thought - Never mind. I have to go.” As you reached for the knob, his hand seized your wrist, and you couldn’t help but notice he was shaking ever so slightly.

“There you go again, my little snake.” he chided gently, almost cooing. “Slithering away every time I get too close.”  

You turned towards him and he brought a hand up to graze against your cheek.

“Would it make your ego even bigger than it already is if I told you that you were right?” he asked, tucking a few stray hairs behind your ear. “About me fancying you?”

“I don’t know.” you said, happily falling back into the banter that came so naturally to you when you were around Remus.

You draped your arms around the back of his neck and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, a stark contrast to the words you were both used to exchanging.

“Guess you’re just going to have to summon some of that Gryffindor courage and find out.”

[tenebraevesper]

Sonic the Hedgehog Analyzer, Issue #36: Chao Races and Badnik Bases (Part 4)

Welcome to the last Issue of The Chao Races and Badnik Bases Arc. We left off with Amy, Gemerl, Cream, Cheese and Belle fighting off Badniks and trying to save the Chao Clutch kept imprisoned, while Sonic and Shadow are given a choice by Starline to either save Tails and Rouge or everyone at the chateau from the avalanche.

So, we start off with Sonic mirroring my own reaction to Starline’s plan (gotta say, this panel is gorgeous). Starline admits that it is a bit cliche, forcing the heroes to choose between the masses and those they hold dear. I think that, while Starline does do well as an independent villain and while his threat might work on someone like Sonic... he obviously isn’t aware of how Shadow works.

Shadow is still pursing Starline, with Sonic trying to convince him to stop the avalanche, but Shadow refuses. Sonic is exasperated, but Tails tells him that he should go and they’ll be fine, with Sonic reluctantly leaving.

Tails asks Shadow to help them,... only for Shadow to step over them, focused on Starline, the latter being surprised that Shadow is going straight for him.

You know, I had been bitching a lot about how Shadow is written and voicing my grief over Team Dark not being a thing anymore. Regarding that, I had been accused of just being whiny that SEGA doesn’t write Shadow the way I want, which is... what? Just, what? I don’t understand where people pulled that conclusion. I mean, I’m already writing my own story, why would I need to demand that?

*shakes head in exasperation*

Listen... I saw and read how Shadow had been written before SEGA started enforcing their “guidelines”, especially in the comics. I also know that this is a soft reboot for his character, and I can accept that. As a matter of fact, I do accept that. I love whenever Shadow appears just to see into what kind of shenanigans he gets himself into. 

The reason I criticize some of the writing choices isn’t because I act like I know better, as if I know how he’s supposed to be written, but to try to find a better in-universe reasoning for his behavior rather than the out-of-universe “oh, he’s just a like Vegeta” explanation is being thrown around. I believe that Shadow can be written as a compelling character if put in the right circumstances and that the supposed “guidelines” SEGA have an effect on how he’s written, rather than placing all of the blame on the writers. I read how Ian Flynn and Evan Stanley write Shadow without the guidelines and it was genuinely good.

Now, SEGA does have the right to enforce how their characters should be written, and I respect that. Still, I have some trouble believing that, as shown in the panel above, Shadow would just leave Rouge and Tails just sitting there unless he made sure they could take care of themselves when in Sonic Heroes, the moment he awoke and Omega attacked him and Rouge, he first made sure that Rouge was fine before dealing with Omega. It just feels off and I want to know why.

It also appears that Rouge shares my sentiment, or at least knows Shadow well enough to be aware that he would go for the Final Boss, having managed to cut the ropes through earlier. She gives Omega the codeword, with Omega making enough noise to startle Starline, causing him to fall off.

Shadow looks over, seeing Starline escaping thanks to the Tricore. Before he can chase after him, Rouge stops him, reminding that, even if they both want to kick Starline’s ass for what he had done, there is still work to be done. Shadow responds that she shouldn’t tell him what to do, but Rouge reminds him that this is his choice and that he’ll be then one who’ll live with it.

We can see the conflict in Shadow’s eyes,... and I genuinely wish it was something Shadow had realized on his own. I know he tends to have tunnel-vision when it comes to completing missions, but it is painful to see having Rouge spell it out for him. Hell, maybe he and Sonic could’ve split off, allowing Shadow to free Tails and Rouge and the three confronting Starline. Even if Starline uses the Tricore to escape, Tails and Rouge can fly or let Shadow catch up with them while they warn the people at the chateau about the avalanche.

There were so many ways this moment could’ve gone about, but having a situation where Shadow has to choose between revenge and saving people makes me feel bitter about it. Unlike in Sonic Adventure 2, he isn’t being manipulated here and we know that he cares, yet he puts his pride above everything else.

Thankfully, Rouge has knocked some sense into him, picking Omega up and flying off with Tails to the chateau.

Meanwhile, Amy is still fighting the polar bear Badnik, while Gemerl and Cheese are holding their position. Cream and Belle are busy with the cage.

Gemerl is obviously pushing himself, with an E-1000 Robot resembling Gamma hitting him from the back. Belle is meanwhile working on the last lock, with Cream asking the Chao for help, all of which agree.

Nice!

Just as Gemerl and Amy get whacked by the Badniks, Belle finishes the last lock and Cream unleashes the Chao upon the Badniks. Honestly, it’s kinda badass to see them like this.

Cream quickly checks on Gemerl, who feels guilty for being unable to protect Cream, but the latter notes how they all do their best to protect each other. Gemerl quickly then goes to help Amy.

One good smash to the head, and the Badnik was done. However, the crisis is not over yet, as Rouge, Omega and Tails drop in, telling them everyone’s in danger.

We then cut to Sonic, who looks overwhelmed by the task at hand, namely stopping the avalanche from reaching the chateau, only for Shadow to show up. Looks like Rouge’s words really got to him.

Shadow tells Sonic that this is him repaying for what happened in Sunset City and the two quickly work together to cut down the trees to make a barrier, with Shadow even complimenting his idea.

At first, it looks like it would work, but anyone who knows about avalanches knows that this is a force that cannot be stopped. Shocked and desperate, the two quickly run down towards the chateau.

Meanwhile, Amy, Tails, Rouge, Belle, Cream, Omega, Gemerl, Cheese and the other Chao are stopped by Omochao, with Tails warning him about the avalanche. Omochao notes that they have a warning system, but before he can even end the sentence, Amy jumps in, telling him to get the people to safety or she’ll make a few new exists. 

Yeah, she had a bad day, don’t antagonize her further.

Omochao quickly agrees and tells everyone to evacuate, with Omega even helping out: “Run, pitiful tourist creatures. Or face certain destruction!”

Never change Omega, never change.

Then, Starline suddenly appears.

Okay, now I’m convinced that everyone took their stupid pills today (or at least, Shadow, Sonic and Starline did). What the hell are you doing here, you idiot?! There is an avalanche YOU had caused coming directly to the chateau! I get it, you want Tails, but is it really worth risking your life?!

*thinks back to Starline teaming up with Eggman, Zavok, Mimic, Rough and Tumble* Welp, at least he stays consistent with getting himself into danger.

Amy and Rouge fight him, with Starline activating the Tricore and going straight for Tails.

Starline grabs Tails’ twin-tails, so Tails response to it is to grab Belle’s tail. Cue Belle kicking Starline right into his face. He hears a strange noise, only to now remember the frigging avalanche as everyone else books it.

Do they hand out Darwin Awards in the Sonic Universe, because I would like to nominate a certain platypus.

So, while everyone else manages to make it out, Starline gets buried in the snow. Yeah, he deserved that.

Fortunately, everyone is safe, with Rouge looking around for Sonic and Shadow. Amy decides to help her, considering how she has a knack for finding hedgehogs and hears them from the underground. Sonic and Shadow then come flying out, both safe and sound.

Amy hugs Sonic in relief, who is glad to see everyone is fine. Shadow just walks away, calling the whole thing a waste of their time. Rouge informs him that Starline got hit, and I guess this does make Shadow feel a little better.

Sonic also notices Belle, surprised to see that she stuck around and hears from Tails and Cream that she helped him. He then apologizes for being tough on her. Well, I guess that is something. Tails then asks her if she can help him with something, with Belle agreeing.

Back at the workshop, we see Cream with the Chao on the outside...

...and Tails and Belle working on Omega inside, with Gemerl also being fixed. Tails suggests Omega and Gemerl could do a little sparring match (the results of which we’ll see later on), with Cream and Vanilla entering the workshop, and Cream proceeding to tell her mother everything that happened.

Meanwhile, Amy and Rouge are both sweating as they realize that they’re gonna get in trouble and Rouge immediately bails, leaving Amy to deal with Vanilla. Love it!

Back outside, Sonic is walking around with the Dark Chao, and we see that he’s actually talking to Shadow, who’s hiding behind a tree, apple in hand.

Sonic notes how things didn’t go as planned, but that it doesn’t matter and he was just glad Shadow was around to help. Shadow just tosses the apple to the Dark Chao, telling him not to overthink it, while Sonic just replies with a casual “yeah, sure”, knowing well that Shadow does care even if he doesn’t show it.

Honestly, these are moments I really love to see when it comes to Shadow’s character. He can stay the more aloof, rival character, but all he has to do is show from time to time that there is a softer side to him, that he actually cares rather than living up to the depiction of being an edgelord whose only emotion is anger and detachment (not even acknowledging Rouge and Omega as his friends). Hell, Evan Stanley even says that Shadow kind of adopted the Dark Chao, albeit more in the way of him checking up on the latter.

Unfortunately, as of writing this analysis, this is the last time we see Shadow. This is Issue #36 and the current confirmed number of Issues is #56, the current arc focusing on Surge the Tenrec (we’ll get to that one) and her making her own problems everyone else’s. He didn’t even show up in the Annual.

Here’s the thing - my greatest fear regarding Shadow is that due to the SEGA guidelines, he isn’t allowed to develop as a character. Sure, none of them are allowed to develop as characters (well, at least the game characters aren’t) unless SEGA approves of it, but Shadow had the most notes and restrictions tied to him. It is quite jarring, especially when we saw characters like Tails, Amy and Knuckles being re-railed. I don’t want him to just be an angry Vegeta!Clone (as it is implied that this is what SEGA wants), but a character who can stand on his own. He has a lot of potential and with some added depth, I’m sure we could get some amazing stories.

Honestly, I feel that if you had told me that Shadow would eventually dial back on his prideful attitude and arrogance, while retaining his aloof demeanor and strategic mindset, I would’ve absolutely loved the direction they took with writing him. I know he can be reckless and pursue his goals no matter what, even if he suffers the consequences, but I still think he’s smarter than this. Yes, even back in the Zombot Arc - I can accept Shadow losing due to his arrogance, but they still should’ve gone with Ian Flynn’s idea of him removing the Inihibitor Rings rather than continuing to fight the Zombots, as it would’ve made him look less like an idiot.

However, there is one more thing I have to say in the end.

No matter how much I criticize how Shadow’s character has been written in IDW (or blame the SEGA guidelines for how he was written), there is no way I would ever hate him as a character. The one thing I do is offer my opinion on the matter, but I nevertheless still care about him and I always get excited whenever he appears. Hell, my strongest negative reaction to how he was portrayed was in the Zombot Arc, so that should tell you a lot (and even then, it was just that one moment). I also apologize if my rants are too much to handle.

What I said for IDW!Shadow goes for any other media he appears in. For example, I absolutely adore Boom!Shadow and don’t mind him trying to destroy the world just because (admittedly, he did get humiliated by Eggman and then beaten up by Metal Sonic, so I guess that’s reason enough). I’m looking forward to Sonic Prime, just to see why the hell Sonic and Shadow are fighting now (because the teasers imply Sonic was the main offender) and I enjoy their rivalry.

Not to mention, I enjoy the fact that IDW!Shadow is still better written than King Shadow from the infamous “30 Years Later’’ story from Pre-SGW Archie. Seriously, that one wasn’t just character assassination, but character massacre.

As Shadow said, don’t overthink it. If he ever returns to the story, I will try to focus more on his in-universe behavior rather than on what is happening out-of-universe, because frankly, I’m completely done with those guidelines as the sheer mention of them brings nothing but misery. I might mention some stuff, but at this point, I have enough of it.

Also, if whoever reads this wants to discuss Shadow’s character with me, I’m game.

So, moving on, we check on Belle and Tails. Belle is happy that she can fix stuff again, while Tails notes how confused he is that Belle decoded the files only someone like Eggman could decode... or someone he created. Belle replies how Eggman didn’t create her and the conversation ends in awkward silence.

Yeah, at this point we know that her creator is Mr. Tinker.

We then check in on Starline, who survived the avalanche, complaining how the heroes didn’t follow his plans. Still, despite the hurt bill and ruined perm, he notes how he had won, having managed to grab some of Tails’ fur.

Yeah, I have a bad feeling about this.

Links:

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[berberriescorner]

I posted 8,853 times in 2022

That's 1,173 more posts than 2021!

304 posts created (3%)

8,549 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sheabuttahwrites

@phoenixhalliwell

@bakarilennox

@breanime

@dreamgirlvibes

I tagged 658 of my posts in 2022

#berberriescorner - 174 posts

#spotify - 96 posts

#i love my mutuals😍 - 60 posts

#mayans mc spoilers - 51 posts

#asks open - 48 posts

#chris evans - 48 posts

#berberries asks - 46 posts

#are you listening? - 35 posts

#fic inspo - 31 posts

#beyoncé - 29 posts

Longest Tag: 113 characters

#he’s literally me! christopher let’s get married and adopt 1000 puppies 😭 omg this made me fall in love with him

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

"Keep Me Posted"

Characters: Rio x Black!Reader.

Summary: Oh, you know, just Rio being an attentive, caring, flirty, and nurturing boyfriend😍. 

Warnings: The reader has a chronic illness. There are brief descriptions of what it’s like dealing with an autoimmune disease. If you have knowledge of or can relate to the topic it may or may not make you a little sad. Being the emotional ass gangsta I am, a thug tear was definitely shed in the making of this😆.

Word Count: 900+.

Personal Note: This drabble (not even sure what to call it) is very near and dear to me. Yes, it’s self-indulgent AF, but I had a disappointing doctor’s visit earlier this week😔 (which inspired me to put my feelings into my writing). I figured why not write something for not only myself but other beautiful readers who deal with the struggles of having a chronic illness? Even if you don’t personally know what it’s like, I hope you still read it and enjoy the fluffiness that Rio’s dishing.

See the full post

443 notes - Posted August 12, 2022

#4

Gang Friend and a Gentleman

Characters: Rio x Black!Reader x Black!OC (older woman of color).

Summary: Not even gon’ hold you, this is random AF. That’s what happens when my imagination runs wild and free. It’s cute, fluffy, and funny. Hope you all enjoy it. Reblogs and feedback would be greatly appreciated💖.

Warnings: Tiny bit of expletives. I’m trying to be a better me, but I just can’t stop cursing 😆. Y’all knew that was coming 😂. Oh, also, if you are a “Karen” please don’t take it personally, it’s just a damn story. That’s about it for the warnings.

Word Count: 1,400+.

See the full post

605 notes - Posted January 4, 2022

#3

“Here We Go”

Characters: Chris Evans x Black!Reader.

Summary: Chris lands himself in a bit of hot water on his birthday. How can one little interview question spark a heated exchange between him and his lady?

Warnings: Profanity, daddy kink (when is there not), angst, fluff, and a smidge of the smut. My usual recipe.

Word Count: 3,200+.

A/N: There will probably be a part two to this. Not sure when though. Listennn, it may seem a bit lengthy, but I had ‘thots’ running through my head over this man, that interview, and it being his birthday🥰. I had to get these random thots out😂.

See the full post

693 notes - Posted June 18, 2022

#2

"Are You Listening?"

Part Two: "The Breakdown"

Characters: Rio x Black!Reader.

Summary: It's part two, so I’m not tellin’🙈😏!

Warnings: You’re about to experience a plethora of emotions. Profanity, you all know I got a mouthpiece on me, especially when I’m passionate 😂. There is a brief mention of fertility troubles.

Word Count: 5,000+.

A/N: I just wanted to thank my lovelies again for showing this story so much love. I had no idea people would love it this much. Thank you for all the sweet, hilarious comments and asks💓. I hope you all enjoy the roller coaster you’re about to take a ride on 😂😏😈.

Read Part One Here.

See the full post

969 notes - Posted August 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

"Are You Listening?"

Characters: Rio x Black!Reader

Summary: After months of being neglected, your anger reaches its boiling point. Time is money, and you know that Rio is all about his bread. If you want to be the king, you gotta stay busy. What’s more important, love or money? Can you have both? Is it possible to be both a cold-hearted businessman and a loving partner? Showing emotion can be a sign of weakness in Rio’s world. How does that work in a marriage? At the same time, you chose to be with him. Shouldn’t you be used to it?

Warnings: Profanity (are you surprised😂). A smidge of daddy kink, with a tiny spot of degradation (again, no surprise there🤣). Angst (quite a bit). A little fluff…it’s there I promise. Sprinkled it with some smut, too (it’s giving a bit of praise kink and dom vibes😈).

Word Count: 3,800+.

A/N: Italicized sentences are the reader's thoughts (in case you were confused and/or curious). It’s kind of lengthy, but the reader had to pop her shit…and Rio popped right TF back👏🏾😆. Part two, yeah can’t tell you when it’s coming, but I’m working on it.

Inspired By:

See the full post

1,547 notes - Posted July 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[keijislove]

Pureblood Mania: Sirius Black X Reader

A/N: Warning: toxic mother-daughter relationship. Mentions of drinking.

Sirius Black was one of the most arrogant, thick and inconsiderate prats anyone would have the misfortune to meet. He found his pleasure in staying with random girls who truly fell for his charm all while he didn’t even look back once he got what he needed. Which is why to say that he was furious at the moment was a complete understatement.

His ‘beloved’ mother had decided to pounce upon him this very morning and Walburga Black was not one to beat around the bush. Authoritatively, she stormed into his room and snapped her fingers in front of her face, saying, “We’ve got to talk.”

Sirius supressed a massive groan – this couldn’t be good.

“I can see your future is going nowhere, boy!” she snarled, “You shall, under no circumstances, besmirch the ground that my forefathers have bestowed upon me by ending up to be a – a street dweller!”

Sirius rolled his eyes. Trust her to say something dramatic like this.

“Therefore, to improve our situation and get rid of you,” she added nastily, “You will be getting married at the end of this month.”

If there was anything Sirius was expecting, it definitely wasn’t this. He got up so fast that his chair crashed to the ground. He did not care.

“Wha- married?!” he sputtered, “To whom?!”

“You shall see this evening,” his smother snapped, “She’s a lovely girl. They will arrive at around five. Wear something respectable. And fix your hair!”

She stormed out of the room, leaving Sirius mouth agape.

Married.

She would probably be some swotty pureblood. The very thought disgusted him. Though, deep down, Sirius always knew he would be married this way, he wasn’t ready for that level of commitment. He was used to variety. Now he’d be stuck with some dull girl for the rest of his life. This day could not get worse.

------

“I’m ready, mum,” you spoke in a monotonous voice.

This morning, your darling mother had announced that you’d be getting married at the end of this month to a ‘charming’ young man. You knew she didn’t care who you married. Pureblood was the word.

You were wearing a F/C dress and your hair was styled neatly – very unlike you.

Your mother came bustling into the room saying, “Good. We should leave now, they’re expecting us. And don’t embarrass me.”

She glared threateningly at you.

You rolled your eyes.

As you stepped into the car, very much aware of what you were signing up for, it drove ahead through the beautiful town you’d once called home. Your car stopped in front of a handsome manor – one you’d never seen before.

As the front gates opened to reveal a scrawny house elf, you followed your mother inside. The moment you reached the living room, something felt off.

“Ah, Y/M/N!” a richly dressed woman greeted, “And dear Y/N! How lovely to see you!”

It was at that moment that you spotted one of your oldest friends, Regulus Black. Your eyebrows rose. This was better than any random pureblood, however, you were quite incapable of thinking of Regulus that way and you were sure he was too.

You looked at him and he looked back. You pointed to yourself and then him and mouthed, “Seriously?”

Regulus looked sickened and shook his head in disgust, mouthing, “Not me.”

You frowned slightly. Regulus didn’t have a cousin, did he? After all, the only other person in the house was –

Oh. Oh, OH.

Your face morphed into an expression of absolute horror as you registered the other person who had just entered the room, mirroring your expression.

Realising you were gaping, you cleared your throat and spoke, “Sirius.”

Your voice was three octaves higher than usual and you hated it.

“Y/N.” Sirius breathed, still in shock.

“Oh, you two know each other?” Mrs Black clapped happily, “How lovely.”

“Yes,” you muttered, “How lovely.”

You glared his way as a pang of immense guilt welled in Sirius’ stomach, eating at him like termites as he relived his only memories of you at Hogwarts.

A girl was laughing and chatting animatedly to an otherwise quiet boy, who reciprocated her actions. Y/N L/N and Regulus Black were almost inseparable.

“Oi, Y/N!” a dark-haired boy with a handsome face called, “Is it because you pity my idiotic brother that you hang out with him? Or is it just that you’re so pathetic that no one else wants to hang out with you?”

His mates howled with laughter as you blushed furiously. Regulus threw a disgusted look their way and tugged at your sleeve, muttering, “Let’s leave.”

-

The same girl was now attempting to carry a large pile of books to the library to help Madame Pince with her work, when they tumbled out of her hands and she fell to the floor with a thud.

“What’s that, L/N?!” Sirius Black yelled from nearby, “Bite off more than you can chew?”

James and Peter positively roared with laughter as Remus suddenly became interested on one spot in his book, his brows furrowing into a frown slightly.

You gathered your books in embarrassment before practically running to the library with them.

-

As he relived these moments, he realised how much you’d actually grown. You weren’t the same old dorky girl from Hogwarts. You were now a quiet, reserved and admittedly extremely attractive young woman who looked ready to burst into tears.

“Sirius dear, take Y//N up to your room, will you?” Mrs Black gave a nasty fake smile.

“Yes, uh, okay, come on,” Sirius stammered.

You walked up the stairs in silence, not daring to look at each other. The house was indeed, very beautiful. As you reached Sirius’ room, you clambered inside before he finally spoke.

“So,” Sirius awkwardly began, “H-how are you, where’ve you been?”

“Do you really care or are you just being polite?” you muttered, upholding a deadpan stare out the window and on the handsome garden.

“Listen, Y/N, I know we got off on the wrong foot-”

“Yeah, we damn right did!” you snapped, pouring out seven years’ worth of feelings at once, “You never had the right foot when it came to me, Sirius, and I doubt that you have it now.”

“Look, I know you don’t want to do this,” Sirius desperately said, “I don’t want to force you into anything but-”

“Oh yes, there’s always a but when it comes to you, isn’t it?” you spat, “I can’t call off this marriage because my mum will kill me, you understand? Kill me. And I’m not like on of the many girls you screw every night-”

“I never said you were,” Sirius angrily spoke.

“Thank Merlin, you’ve finally done something wise, Black,” you snarled in his face, “We’ve got to grit our teeth and do it. Will you please try not to be a complete and utter arse and make it harder for me than it already is?”

At that moment, your mother burst into the room, “Y/N darling, we’ve got to leave now, and get your dress picked.”

Trying not to gag at the fake ‘darling’, you threw one last nasty glare in Sirius’ direction before following your mother out of the room.

-------

DAY OF WEDDING (A/N: sorry 😉)

“Bleurgh,” you blankly stated to your friend Lily Evans, who was getting you ready for the wedding alongside another girl called Marlene McKinnon, to whom you’d never really talked but she seemed nice anyway.

“What’s wrong, you look gorgeous!!” Lily gasped.

“Spiffing, Y/N,” Marlene grinned at you, “Let’s get your hair done, Sirius is a lucky man!”

She hastily added, “Joking!” as you glared murderously at her.

Soon your hair was styled and your veil perched on top of your head along with a bouquet of roses in your arms.

As you walked alongside your father down the aisle, you fought the urge to turn and run on the spot. Sirius was gaping at you from the front. He looked quite nice, you had to admit.

His face formed a cocky smirk as you fought another urge to throw the bouquet at his face.

You didn’t register any vows the priest made, your mind wandering over to glimpses of the future you were signing up for.

The word that caught you by surprise was, “You may kiss the bride.”

“Oh shit,” you thought, trying not to panic.

Sirius threw an anxious glance at your face, as if asking for your permission and you closed your eyes and nodded slightly. You could feel his minty breath on your face as his lips captured your own. They were gone the moment they appeared.

You flushed. How foolish of you to think Sirius Black would ever like you. You were looking anywhere but his face, refusing to fall for his charm. As the guests congratulated you and the food was eaten, the speeches delivered, it was finally time to go home. You were to go to a honeymoon destination your mothers had chosen and Merlin you were going to regret this.

The moment you stepped inside your bedroom; something was off. The whole room smelt like flowers and there was this tiny ass bed in which the two of you would have to squeeze.

“Ugh,” you moaned into your palms, grabbing your clothes and heading off to the bathroom to change out of this awful wedding dress and into your nightclothes.

By the time you washed off your makeup and brushed your teeth, your new ‘husband’ was already sitting on the bed, changed into his own nightclothes.

You sat warily on the bed, as far away from him as possible. Sirius threw a questioning glance your way before speaking, “Don’t flatter yourself.”

Ignoring this mildly hurtful jibe, you spoke, “You don’t care how attractive the girl is, as long as she’s ready to shag you.”

“Nice,” Sirius sarcastically muttered, “I can see why Regulus liked you. You’re a bloody psychopath.”

“He’s a damn sight better than you are,” you retorted.

“I’m the handsome one,” Sirius cockily stated.

“I’d rather marry Severus,” you coldly spoke, “At least he knows his manners.”

“You really know how to wound a man.”

“It’s midnight, go to sleep. And no funny business, Black,” you warned.

“Can’t make no promises,” Sirius chanted as you threw a pillow at his face before turning the other way and falling asleep.

------

Married life didn’t suit you at all, especially when your husband was such an arse. He would leave early morning and go out with his stupid friends and sometimes even bring them over. Let’s just say you didn’t fancy quietly sitting in the corner, watching James Potter and Sirius Black taking turns shoving pencils up their noses while Peter cheered them on and Remus sat with his head in his hands, continually apologising to you.

You drew the line when Sirius returned one day, apparently been out with his friends.

He silently hung up his coat before turning to walk to the bathroom when you shut your book and spoke, “Enjoyed ourselves, did we?”

Sirius turned around to face you, confused, “Huh?”

“We need to talk,” you spoke, struggling to keep your voice even.

“’Kay, but first I’m going to-”

“NOW.” you spoke with such a ringing force in your voice, Sirius was surprised at himself for not recoiling several steps.

He cleared his throat, “Yeah, OK. What’s up?”

“I’ll tell you what’s up,” you fumed, “Where do you get to these days? I go to bed and you’re not there; I wake up and you’re still not there and you turn up for lunch then disappear again to wherever you go!”

“So?” Sirius shrugged, “’Smatter with you?”

“For Merlin’s sake, Sirius, I’m your wife,” you spoke, “I have a right to know where you go-”

“You’re not my wife,” Sirius frowned slightly.

“I – what, sorry?!” you sputtered.

“I thought we just married for namesake,” Sirius’ frown grew deeper.

“Yeah, but that still makes me your wife, git!” you yelled angrily.

“Why do you care where I go?” Sirius furiously asked you, “It’s not like you like me any better when I’m around-”

“If you’re married, I hope you realise that you can’t sleep around anymore, namesake or not,” you coolly stated.

Sirius looked taken aback, “I don’t sleep around.”

“A likely story,” you snarled.

“You know what, you’re being ridiculous right now,” Sirius huffed in annoyance, “I’ll see you later.”

“Wait, no,” you hurried forward and made to seize his forearm but he roughly shook you off before slamming the door in your face.

------------

“I’d make fun of you right now,” Regulus was trying to control his laughter, “But you seem pretty miserable already. Care telling me what’s wrong, brother?”

Sirius scowled at his younger brother. Trust the little shit to try and get back at him for possible blackmail material.

“I need something to drink first,” Sirius stated.

Regulus snorted before summoning a bottle of firewhiskey and two glasses with a wave of his wand. He poured some out for himself and gave the other glass to his brother.

Sirius took a swig before speaking, “It’s Y/N. She’s acting weird.”

“You always found her weird,” Regulus coldly stated.

“Nah, now she’s weirder than usual,” Sirius shuddered, and with a deep breath, began to explain.

By the time he finished, Regulus was staring at him with incredulity and exasperation.

“Are you really such an idiot?” he asked disbelievingly, “You’re supposed to be smarter than this, Sirius, dogs are smart!”

“What’s intelligence got to do with this?” Sirius asked, confused.

Regulus rolled his eyes, “You’ve no idea, have you? Imagine, brother, my situation at Hogwarts when she used to burst into tears in front of me after you’d teased her, telling me that she was no good and how Sirius Black would never like someone like her back!”

Sirius’ look of confusion morphed into one of comprehension, followed by horror.

“She-?” he asked.

“Yes,” Regulus nodded, staring at him in disgust, “Now go apologise to her, or I’ll hex you so bad you’ll shoot flames out of your-”

“No, okay, no,” Sirius made a disgusted face before proceeding to down the entire bottle of Firewhiskey.

--------

A knock on your door around midnight told you that your delightful ‘husband’ had come home. Scowling, you got out of bed to open the door to reveal and extremely drunk Sirius standing there.

“What the-”

“I’m sorryyyyy Y/N ieeeee,” Sirius sobbed, flinging himself onto you.

“Uhm,” you awkwardly patted his head, “What’s going on-?”

“All the time I thought you – hic – fancied my – hic – brother, when you were really – hic – oh, I’ve been a complete – hic – arse to you and – hic – now I’ve – hic – ruined everything,” he rambled.

“Sirius, what-” you got cut off as his lips sloppily grazed over your own. You closed your eyes for a brief moment before realising he was drunk. He probably didn’t know what he was doing. This was wrong.

“Sirius,” you muttered, pushing him off slightly, “You don’t mean this, trust me, you don’t.”

“I do, I do,” he howled, still sobbing, “I wanna be your husband – make lots of little kids with you!”

“OK,” you spoke, this was where to draw the line, “Tell me this when you’re sober, with a straight face, and I’ll believe you.”

His face morphed into a dorky grin and his head lolled over to your shoulder as you practically carried him inside before the both of you fell asleep.

When you woke up, you were surprised to see him leaning impatiently over you, showing no sign of a hangover whatsoever.

“Ready to make those little kids?” he asked cheekily as you gasped, a realisation hitting you.

“I’m going to kill Regulus.”

[thefanficmonster]

Few Too Many

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing, In-game violence and death, Suggestive comments

Genre: Protective fluff, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Jealousy is a dangerous thing, especially when the jealous person is armed with a gun....in a game of Counter Strike. At least Y/N’s friend will now know not to mess around and flirt with her, especially not with Corpse around.

Requested by 🐐 Anon. Hi dear! Thank you so much for your request! Sorry it’s taken me so long to complete and post your request but here it finally is! I didn’t want to make it IRL violence to avoid triggering anyone while I also felt it’d be very ooc for Corpse to beat someone up but I still hope you enjoy the fic if you come across it and read it! Love, Vy ❤

“Hey everyone!“ Y/N greets her squad as they all customize their characters while I sit there, observing and unknowing of what I’m supposed to do. “I invited Corpse to play with us today, hope y’all don’t mind.”

“Of course not! Nice to finally meet you, Corpse. We’ve heard a ton about you from Y/N, thanks for making our girl the happiest she’s ever been.“ One of her friends says, the tone of his voice suggesting he’s only half-joking with the dad like comment he made.

“Nice to meet you too, man. Glad I’m the one she gave the chance of making her happy. That’s all I ever wanna do.“ Though it may sound cheesy, as guys, her friends can probably read into how genuinely I mean what I’ve said.

Dating a girl with only guy friends has it’s pros and cons. Which outweigh which is still up for debate since I’m still researching, but so far so good in my opinion. This is the first time I’m interacting with them directly so I’ve still got a long way to go in terms of getting to know them and the details of their relationship with Y/N better. Regardless, I at least know they can easily understand me and put themselves in my shoes if I ever ‘mess things up’ with Y/N and she goes to complain to them - something that will most likely never happen. I’d never dare make this girl upset. Chances are, if I do, her friends won’t get to me on time - I would deliver my own punishment just the way I think I deserve it. However, there’s also the chance of them getting super protective of her and ganging up on me over something as small as a fight. By the many things and stories Y/N’s shared with me about them, I believe they wouldn’t think twice about kicking someone’s ass for her. They’re not massive dudes - I’ve seen pictures of them - but I for one don’t ever wanna see em angry.

“Ay bro, what’d you do to score our best girl? You must know what she likes. If so please, by all means, do tell.“ One of them, not the one who was previously talking, speaks up, his words making me furrow my brows in both confusion and irritation.

I open my mouth to complain as I slowly start cracking my knuckles when Y/N and her friends beat me to it. Thing is, Y/N’s friend group consists of three guys and her and yet four voices scolded the guy that made that suggestive comment. That being said, this guy probably isn’t considered to be one of her friends, at least not one that’s a permanent part of her friend group.

“Seth, cut it out!“ The guy I was previously speaking to says sharply before softening his tone to refer to me, “Sorry about my brother, excuse his lack of brain cells, please.“

Just then, I also receive a message from someone. Checking my phone, turns out it’s Y/N who by the way is currently in the living room while I’m in the recording room. Her text reads:

Y/N ~ Ignore Seth. I told Leo to not invite him but he’s still here somehow

I send her back a quick reassuring text before answering the guy I now know is named Leo, “No worries, it’s fine.”

“See? The guy can take a joke, you’re all just freaking out over nothing!“ Seth laughs, reminding me and the others of how loud he is compared to us.

Despite acting like it’s no big deal, I can’t help but admit to myself that this behavior of Seth’s has awoken a deeply buried suspicion of mine that’s not only mine but also arises in every guy whose girlfriend hangs out with a lot of guys. It’s not that I don’t trust Y/N - she could literally blindfold me and tell me to walk through a pool of lava, promising it wouldn’t hurt and I’d do it - but we all know about that saying that every guy in a group with one girl has liked said girl at least once.

Disturbing to think these four, including Seth five, dudes could’ve possibly been my competition at some point. It’s nice that they’re all super chill about it, mostly cause some of them have girlfriends as I was told.

Nevertheless, we get over that hiccup and carry on with the small talk and preparations for the game. Since it’s my first time playing CSGO, Y/N, Leo and her other friend Clancy explain the mechanics to me in detail to avoid me getting confused mid-game and getting myself killed. When they finish, we start the round and wait for the game’s algorithm to separate us into two teams which Y/N jokingly refers to as cops and robbers. Unfortunately, the end result of that separation ends up being me getting put in the terrorists’ force with Leo and Clancy while Y/N’s with the FBI, partnered with Seth and her other friend Evan.

“Alright, team, we shall now disperse. Corpse, remember, if you see more than one of them, radio in and lay low, we’ll be with you as soon as possible.“ Leo informs me as he runs off in one direction, Clancy going in the opposite. I confirm I understand and go along my way too, heading for this ancient looking structure that looks like it could belong in an old-timey movie. 

Walking in, I realize the place is way bigger than it appeared on the outside. A quick look up confirms that there are three fucking floors above, not to mention that the ground floor is huge. Luckily, there are many crates and barrels to hide behind if I come across an FBI agent. I sure as hell hope it’s Y/N, I could maybe even try talking her into giving me a second chance at life and pretend she never saw me. Come to think of it though, I’d probably prefer getting killed by her rather than her friends - especially Seth.

Given that we’re in a Discord call, I can hear all the conversation going on. They are all quiet though, I can just periodically hear the mumbles of someone muttering to themselves as they navigate the map cautiously out of fear of running into their opponent unprepared. The silence is put to an end though when Seth speaks up, addressing Y/N.

“Yo, your boyfriend’s with the terrorists, ain’t he? That’s like the universe giving you a sign that y’all shouldn’t be together.“ The fucker laughs at his own joke while I can literally hear Y/N rolling her eyes.

“Have you heard of Romeo and Juliet, Seth?“ She asks sarcastically, almost getting a chuckle out of me but I suppress it to avoid getting caught listening in.

“Yeah, they both die at the end. Fucking boooriiinngg.“ Just then, I spot two silhouettes entering the building. Aiming my gun at them reveals their names - just the people I’m currently involuntarily eavesdropping on. Seth and Y/N don’t notice me though so I quickly duck behind a crate and prepare to radio in when Seth continues verbally torturing Y/N and dancing on my last nerves, “I personally think the friends-to-lovers trope is far more interesting...“

Did this guy just- no, he’s gotta be fucking kidding me

I’m left with my jaw hanging in disbelief at this guy’s audacity. I have no doubt Y/N’s about to put him in his place herself but I just gotta have my own chat with this guy. And by ‘chat’ I mean I mindlessly rush out from behind the crate towards where I saw him and Y/N and open fire on him.  I hear his startled and upset screams with Y/N’s laughter in the background. She doesn’t try to stop me as a teammate of his should and would, instead she just observes the scene unfold, laughing her ass off.

“Yo man what the fuck was that for?!“ I hear Seth’s yell but only faintly since the sound of gunshots is still echoing through my headphones. Yeah, I’m not done shooting this fucker.

“Corpse...Corpse, buddy...“ Y/N manages through fits of laughter she cannot tame, “That’s a few too many bullets, he’s already dead.”

“And that was a few too many comments for him to be let off the hook.” I answer as sharply as I can with the new-formed smile on my face. What can I say, her happiness is contagious.

“Well, you got your first kill in CSGO. Good job, babe! I’m super proud of you!” She cheers for me, clapping her hands excitedly. 

“Nah that was my first overkill.“ I quickly add, with a more threatening tone: “And it won’t be my last.”

“Let’s just hope there aren’t few too many of these overkills either.“ She snickers.

“That doesn’t depend on me, babe.“ I say smugly, suggestively enough for Seth to pick up the dropped hint. Mother fucker’s officially been put in his place and I couldn’t possibly be happier - with the added bonus of getting a ton of laughter out of Y/N who also decides to walk away, leaving me unharmed but promising to shoot to kill next time she sees me.

I’m ok with that. She could kill me anyday.

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[imagination-is-key-in-my-world]

Awkward Encounters

Authors Note: At first, I was going to write this as the reader being in Tessa’s perspective but then I thought that it would be too much of a copyright. There may be some similarities to the story but I have written Tessa in as a separate party. Tessa is still with Noah in this. Also, I will be referencing parts from both the movie and the novels. In this particular fanfiction Tristan is a girl, like the movie.

Summary: You are a freshman at college and your life there started pretty normally. Your best friend is Tristan who is dating Steph who is roommates with Tessa. That was until you went to a party with Tristan and the girls. You had no idea that the mysterious British boy was going to intervene when you come face to face with the Bitch that is Molly.

Warning: Swearing

Pairing: Reader x Hardin Scott

Word Count: 4,423

“Come on Tristan, I told you.” I moan. “I can’t go to another party; I am still recovering from the last one.” I cling to a cold compress, trying my best to shield my eyes from the light that is seeping in through the open door.

Tristan threw a pack of Ibuprofen onto my lap that she snooped around in my bag for. “If it’s that bad, take one of these and get your butt out of that bed.” I groan at the impact from the small box just for the effect. “Don’t be a baby and get up.”

I roll over on the bed to face the wall. “Can’t you just go with Steph?”

“No!” She abruptly spat out. “I want to go with you. Steph is bringing Tessa and I don’t want to show up alone.”

“But you will be with her when you’re there. What’s the point in me getting out of this lovely cocoon that I have made, just to walk you to the party?”

Tristan had her head bent over, pulling her hair into a high ponytail on the top of her head. “You know that what you just said was the whole point.” She sighed. “Everyone is going to stare at me when I walk in there all on my lonesome.”

I eyed the short revealing dress that she was pulling onto her petite and envious body. “You know everyone will be staring at you no matter what if you wear that.” I laugh. “Those legs are going to be the headliner for that party.”

Tristan winked at me and continued adding more accessories to her ever-growing ensemble. “That my dear naïve British friend is the goal of this outfit.” She dropped to her knees faster than I could pry open the antibiotic wrapper. Gripping onto my hand she pulled me away from my mission to rid the world of the swirling furniture before my very eyes. “Y/N, if you do not go, I will literally never talk to you ever again.”

I raised my eyebrow at the sight before me. “Is that a promise.” I bravely say.

“Y/N! Please!”

“Fine alright. Give me five minutes.” I surrender, using every ounce of strength that I had left to lift myself from my comfy nest. “But you owe me, big time.” Tristan’s arms were around my neck faster than I could respond. Her soft lips that I am sure Steph adores, pressed against my forehead.

“I love you so much Miss Y/L/N!” She squealed.

I let out a stiff laugh as I saunter off to the bathroom to sort whatever state I currently appeared to be in.

***

“You know, when you said that this was going to be a cool night for us both? When did I factor into the equation?” I scoff, lifting the red solo cup to my lips. The bitter taste made my stomach curl, but what was worse was not drinking around all these over-the-top drunk people.

Tristan was straddling Steph on the sofa by the side of me. These two did not understand the true definition of PDA and why some people may find it uncomfortable. Including myself.

I inch further down the sofa that was unsurprisingly very sticky. If I wasn’t feeling queasy when I turned up, I certainly felt it now. I try to distract myself from the fact that I had to peel my legs from the leather material just to cross them. The sound was very unflattering.

“Why are you in my seat?” I roll my eyes the minute I recognised the irritating voice that filled me with angst and hatred from across the room. Molly Samuels. Her whole presence just irritates me, and it appears that I am not the only one with this response. I gaze over to my left to see Tessa shaking her head at the general distaste she had for the girl. I lift my cup up to Tessa who shyly mimics. ‘To stuck up bitches, ay?’ I say to myself, quietly so that she couldn’t hear.

Molly pushed Zed Evans and his girlfriend for the night out of her shitty throne causing his date to land hard on her arse. I am sure it wasn’t the first time that Molly has done this to declare her ‘power’ to the whole room. “Who the fuck do you think you are?” The blonde cried as Zed attempted to pick her up from the floor which was soaked in alcohol.

“Does this brat literally think she can talk to me right now?” Molly scoffed, flicking her hair over her shoulder. Turning to her so-called friends for approval of her comment and actions.

“What did you just call me?” The poor young girl shook off Zed’s protective arm and stepped right in front of Molly’s nose. Probably not the best move, but I have always found that Molly needed taking down a peg or two.

“You heard me, loud and clear” She popped her tongue on the letter ‘l’ in loud. “A little slutty brat who thinks for a second that Zed will call her back after he fucks her tonight.” Molly’s teeth were snarling almost like a wild animal.

“At least I’m not a bitchy whore who thinks that everyone here is her friend.” There were a couple ‘ohs’ and ‘ahs’ almost as if we were at a panto and not a college party after Zed’s girl’s response.

The second Molly let the words register her hand was leaving that poor girl’s cheek, along with a bright red handprint in its place.

“What the fuck, Molly!” I heard the words clear as day, but I never in a million years imagined that they would come from my mouth. But there I was, standing right in front of Molly, shielding the young girl from another blast to the face.

I could hear people whispering behind my back. ‘What is she doing?’ ‘Is she stupid or something?’ ‘Does she not know what Molly is like?’ Despite being close friends with Tristan, I never would have expected her to step up to defend me, especially when Molly Samuels was involved. She stayed on Steph’s lap; eyes bugged open. Utterly frozen.

“Wow Y/N? Get involved in other people’s business much? Just because your life is too sad, you feel like you can insert yourself into other people’s.” I roll my eyes at her pathetic attempt to rattle me. “You’re just a sad little virgin that no body wants around. Tristan only invited you tonight for her own benefit. Just look around, you don’t fit in here.”

I stay silent. I may have only spoken up once tonight, but that was enough for me. Frat parties are my least favourite place to be. The only reason I came here tonight was for Tristan. I should have left the minute she started making out with the red-haired beauty.

“Cat got your tongue now, bitch.” Molly’s face was inches from mine and I choked on the strong aroma of alcohol on her breath. “Oh, wait I forgot, the girl doesn’t own a backbone.” There were a few stifled laughs here and there. Zed stayed silent, as did Tristan and Steph. None of them making the effort to stand up for me. “Let me guess. Tristan batted her big eyes at you and begged you to come tonight, didn’t she? Then ditched you the moment someone prettier came into the picture.”

I gulp back the bile that I knew had risen to the back of my throat. “Why don’t you go back to your dorm. Oh, better yet, get on a fucking plane and fly back to shitty England. We could only get lucky and hope the thing crashes with you inside it.”

“That’s enough Molly!” The voice behind me held a British twang similar to my own. A voice I had only heard about but never actually seen. The bad boy, Hardin Scott.

Hardin Scott was attractive. Since I got here, I knew he was the talk of the college. Everybody knew who he was and that he wasn’t good news. His white shirt displayed his various tattoos clearly through the thin and tight fabric. His black hair was pushed back to show his piercing eyes and anger set eyebrows. His eyes never left Molly who was stood behind me.

“Oh, Hardin you know I am only messing with the virgin.” She forces a small laugh. “It’s not like I can control the planes is it.” Her head tilts to the side as her gaze locks onto mine, only to intimidate. “I mean I wish I could.” She muttered so that only the people stood around her could hear.

“Do you ever know when to stop!” Hardin barks, not acknowledging me physically. “Do you ever think that you’re the one that people don’t want around?” He questions, moving slowly across the room. I hadn’t noticed but the volume of the once booming music had been lowered to a slight hum in the background.

Hardin was now stood right beside me glaring down at Molly who mimicked his stance. “Ding Ding. Come on guys let’s just drop it!” Nate calls over when he noticed their glares on each other were far from breaking.

Molly was the first to move. “You’re right Nate.” She coos. “Let’s play a game.” She scans the room of her so-called posy who all appeared to be done with her shit for the night. “It’s Friday night. We need to play a game. I will even let the little virgin here play along, too.”

I am very aware that all the eyes were now back on me.

This wasn’t something that I wanted to be a part of. It took me what felt like an eternity to move my feet across the room to where Tristan was sitting. “I am going to head back to the dorms.” I declare quietly to her, but I can tell that they are all listening.

“No please stay, it won’t be the same if you go.” Tristan reaches for my hand which I pull away.

I don’t know why I am letting Molly’s words sink in so much. Everybody who knows her knows that she is full of herself and couldn’t give a shit who she hurts.

“No, it’s late.” It was only nine. “And I have assignments that are due.” I lie, they are all finished. “I’ll see you back at the dorm.”

I start towards the door but I can hear Tristan calling after me to stay.

As I reach the front door to the frat house, I hear Molly’s voice loud and clear. “So, Hardin truth or dare?”

***

The walk back to the dorms was anything but peaceful. The cars were loud and honking at me as they passed. Classy.

I reach for my phone in my bag. I could do with tuning out the world for this half hour walk back in the dark. But my fingers only find a vibrant red lipstick that I couldn’t pull off in a million years.

I stop dead in my tracks. This was Steph’s bag; I grabbed the wrong one during my never-ending embarrassment.

I couldn’t go back, but I couldn’t go further either. Where was I supposed to go, Steph’s key wasn’t in here so it’s not like I could sleep in her room for the night. No cash, key or phone meant that I had no other choice. I had to suck it up and go back.

“Fuuuck!” I shout, not caring that I startled an elderly woman who was placing a rubbish bag in her bin just outside her front door.

“Not a very ladylike thing to say.” I hear a mocking chuckle behind me causing me to jump out of my skin.

When I turn around, I am greeted by the tall British bad boy covered in ink standing about 6 foot in front of me.

His head cocks to the side when I don’t answer him. “You don’t say much, do you?” My eyes scan over his attire, black ripped jeans, white top, and a jet-black leather jacket. “But you do stare a lot, don’t you?” That British chuckle makes it’s second appearance tonight.

“What do you want?” I blurt out, shaking my head at the fact that I was indeed caught staring at the boy.

He steps a little closer to me, closing the gap between us ever so slowly. I watch in amazement at how sexy he makes walking look. “You left this at the party.” I hadn’t realised that he had extended his hand to reveal a clutch bag. My clutch bag.

“Oh!” I speak. “Thanks.” I take the bag from him and prepare myself for the walk back.

“Don’t take any notice of Molly. She is a bitch.”

“Yep.” I chip in, turning to walk back towards the college dorm rooms.

I only get a few steps ahead when I feel a cold sensation wrap around my bare arm. Why the fuck didn’t I bring a coat? I gaze down at the hand that is pressed to my skin. “Where are you going?” He softly says. His tone and action were not at all forceful but something about him made me shiver with fear deep inside the pit of my stomach. I was warned about Hardin Scott. Tristan said that he wasn’t exactly good news around her group of friends. Acting with his fists before connecting his words, that’s what she said at least.

“H-Home.” I stutter, half from the interaction, half from how fucking cold it was. I straighten up. “I am going home.”

“Alone?” He jumps in straight away.

I don’t answer. I just look back at his hand around my arm.

“S-sorry.” He stutters, removing his hand from my arm. “It’s just it’s a long way back to the dorms and it is late.”

I shrug my shoulders at his declaration. “I know.” I simply say and start to walk again but I am blocked by the gorgeous boy standing in front of me. “Oh fuck, you’re not going to kill me, are you?”

“No of course not!” He blurts.

“Good! Now could you” I gesture to the fact that he is stood directly in my path. He catches on to my hint and steps aside.

“You’re not going to walk there alone, are you?” His voice sounding desperate.

I spin and mockingly look around for people, lifting my hand to shield my eyes as I continue my search. This provokes a choked sigh from Hardin. Once I am satisfied with my ‘search’ I say “yep” and continue to walk.

“But it is late.” He chimes in again walking backwards trying desperately not to break my gaze as I try desperately to avoid his. “And you’re alone.”

“Yes, we have established this.” I mock, glaring at the stoned pavement or sidewalk ahead of me.

Hardin reaches both hands out in front of himself creating a wall which stops me from taking another step. “What is your problem?”

I take a step back, alarmed at his outburst. “My problem. You’re the one who has continuously blocked my way for the past ten minutes.” I bark. I try to move around him but he doesn’t budge, copying my actions to stay ahead of me.

“I am trying to offer my services.” Hardin exclaimed but then scowled at his choice of words. I too have a hard time accepting the word ‘services.’ Just as I go to argue he opens his mouth. “Fuck that’s not what I meant to say.” His hands instantly dart to push his hair back out of his face. A nervous tick I assume. What did he have to be nervous about? He is the one stalking after college girls at half 9 at night.

“Look can we start over?” He offers shoving his hands into his jacket. My arms promptly raise to cover my bare arms where goosebumps have started to form. Why didn’t I bring a jacket? “Could I possibly walk you back to the dorms?” His eyes dropped to the ground to stare at a pebble that he toyed with his shoe. Was he anxious?

“Why?” I question fairly quickly.

“I just want to make sure that you get back safe!” His tone wasn’t very friendly. I cock my head to one side. “Sorry, that came out bad.” His tone softening. “I just didn’t like the way that Molly spoke to you earlier and I also hate the fact that you would be walking back in this sketchy neighbourhood alone.”

“Fine.”

***

We walk all the way back to the dorms in silence. Hardin looked uncomfortable the entire time as if he were being forced to be here. I sure as hell did not make him.

I pull the key from my bag and slot it into the lock on the door. Pushing the door slightly open I stand with my arms still draped across my shivering body in the doorway. “Well, thanks for walking me back and bringing me my bag.”

Hardin didn’t budge. His eyes were locked on my body, traveling from my legs to my face. His face turned a shade of white when his eyes caught up to mine. “Fuck!” He announced.

“What!” I jump at his sudden change in demeaner.

“Your lips.” He gestures to my trembling lips that haven’t stopped shaking since I stepped outside of the frat house. “They are fucking blue!” Panic surges over him as he rakes his hands through his hair. “Why didn’t you say you were cold?” He started passing back and fourth in front of me.

“There wasn’t much you could do.” I counter. “My own stupid fault for not bringing a coat.”

I walk inside the room and grab a jacket and throw it on over my shaking body. Hardin enters after me and grabs my hand carefully. “Fuck lot that will do.” He picks up a towel and drags me back down the hallway.

I try to pull my arm back but it is no use. “Where the hell are you taking me?” I say a little too loud. Silently cursing myself if I may have woken up any of the other students living down this dorm.

“The showers now come on.” He tugs a little harder as his feet guide me towards the shared bathroom just a few floors down from my own.

As we reach the bathroom, Hardin throws the towel over the railing and reaches in to turn on the water. I couldn’t help but watch his every move. “Get in!” He cries. Gesturing to the box that was filling with tempting hot steam.

I hesitate. “Y/N, get in the fucking shower.” I jump, not at his tone. But at the fact that he used my name. How did he even know it? Oh right, he was at the party when Molly was insulting me. “If you don’t start undressing now, I will have to start doing it for you.”

I raise an eyebrow but decline his offer, stepping into the box and pulling the curtain across to shield my naked body.

***

Hardin was right, I needed that shower. I hadn’t realised how cold I had gotten from that walk home. I stood in that shower for what felt like half the evening.

I shut off the water and begin to pull the curtain slightly across so that I could reach for the towel that Hardin had placed on the rail when Hardin’s hand slips through holding the towel between his fingers.

“Thanks.” I mutter, draping it around my soaking body.

I step out to find that Hardin’s hair has dropped and started to stick to his forehead in places from the steam. His eyes dart up and down my body, quietly.

I am the first one to break the silence as we stand there in the shared bathroom. “So, I should um, probably get back to my room.”

I watch as Hardin lets my words break him from his still stance. “Yeah, um, after you.” He holds his arm out and follows me out of the bathroom. Something has shifted in Hardin. Tonight, I have seen him; angry, intimidating, shy, solemness and lost for words. It was a lot to take in during a short period of time.

I open the dorm door and step inside. When I hear the door shut, I jump and almost drop the towel. “Shit, sorry I didn’t mean for the door to shut so loudly.” He curses under his breath.

“It’s okay.” I mutter. I cling to the towel as I stare back at Hardin who hasn’t moved or made any effort to leave.

“Y/N?” Hardin’s voice softer than ever tonight, bringing my eyes to meet his. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“What do you mean?” My words coming out slowly. His head dropped to face the floor. Was he trying to count the flecks of glitter on the carpet from Tristan’s body butter or something?

“Why didn’t you say that you were cold?” I roll my eyes, this again. Crossing my arms over my stomach.

“Like I said, there wasn’t anything you could have-”

“I could have given you my jacket.” He interjects. Taking a step closer to me. His body was merely a foot away from mine.

“But then you would have been the one with the blue lips.” I counter. Tilting my head to the side in a modest challenging manner.

This stirred something within Hardin, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I know that he isn’t used to a woman not agreeing with every word that comes out of his mouth.

I suddenly shake my head as I feel a slight chill spread up my back. I am still in my towel and now I am very much aware of that. Quickly I turn away from his locked-on gaze.

“Can I have some privacy please.” I mumble, not able to turn around to face him. “I need to, uh, get changed.” I add.

Hardin lets out a small grunt but eventually I do hear the click of my dorm-room door close. I don’t know why but I feel a shed of disappointment at the fact that he listened and actually left.

It takes my hands what feels like hours to release the tight grip that I held on to the towel. Allowing it to fall onto the floor.

“You know what-” I hear the click of the door and his voice fill my ears. I jump from my spot in the middle of the room. He doesn’t finish the sentence, instead Hardin slams the door behind him. “Fuck!” His eyes firm but glued on my body.

I quickly try to grab the towel up off the floor, but it is no use. Hardin instantly placed his foot over the soggy material. “Don’t.” He lets that one word fall from his lips as he slowly continues to decrease the distance between us.

“Hardin!” I shout. “Give-” I can’t finish my argument as I find his finger is placed over the top of my lips.

Hardin doesn’t speak, he just shakes his head. His soft hand moves from my lips and trails off to my cheek, holding me in place. My eyes locked onto his own, frozen in place. I watch as his eyes bounce from my own to my lips, seeking permission. His other hand snaked its way around and laid itself on the small of my back, pulling my naked body closer to his.

I was completely thrown off by the audacity of my body responding to his touch, bringing me to him. Everything happened in slow motion from the second we were back in my room. I knew that Hardin was trouble, everybody did. But no one actually prepares you for a moment like this. Where you are stood in front of a gorgeous guy whose whole attention you own. Did I say he was gorgeous?

I shake my head breaking the eye contact trance I was in. “Har-”

“You’re so beautiful.” He interrupts, breaking right through the barrier I was desperately trying to build. Correction, he shattered the wall to pieces and I find myself pushing my lips aggressively against his, hungry for the contact.

It takes him a second to return the haste in my actions within his own. Moving his lips to mimic the speed that I had set for him. It took no time at all for that jacket that he kept holding over me for not taking since we got back to the room to be thrown onto the floor, revealing the crisp white T-shirt underneath.

His hand wandered lower to lay slightly above my bare arse. While my hands slithered up underneath his shirt. Desperate to feel the skin underneath and to trace the ink that it held. The hand that rested on my cheek now held tightly to the back of my neck making it impossible to break the kiss, not that I wanted to.

I could stay like this forever, kissing Hardin has awoken something inside me that I didn’t even know existed. This overwhelming hunger for his contact. I tug a little on the hair on the back of his head which in response summoned a deep growl from Hardin that I didn’t think I was prepared to hear. Any sense of doubt that we should stop kissing left my mind the second I heard that sound.

“Y/N? You would not believe what you missed after-” Tristan stood in the open doorway, her mouth held open just as wide.

Fuck. I jump back from Hardin and scramble for the towel, concealing my naked form from my roommate. I look over to Hardin who didn’t look at all affected by the events in the last ten seconds.

“I can tell your busy so I will just, yeah.” Tristan steps back and shuts the door behind her.

I run into the closet and quickly throw on a set of underwear and a long-oversized shirt that came down to lie just beneath my arse. “I think it’s about time I start locking that door.” I joke as I step through the closet door.

My eyes roam the room for the handsome boy I was just making out with only to be greeted with an empty room. My shoulders fall, “I guess that’s goodbye.” I mumble, trying my best to hold myself together. Locking the door before falling onto my bed.

Part 2?

[mrs-march-ahs]

How would the evans react to the reader being insecure? thank you😊

What Would The Evans Do If You Were Insecure

My 300 follower special gave me so many requests! They are all incredible and I am trying to do as many as possible! I may not do them all, but all of your requests were incredible thank you for helping me celebrate this amazing achievement :) This is for @tatestripedsweater and anybody else who (for some reason) doesn’t feel like a work of art today, this is an Evan Peters reminder that you are a gift to this world and I love you.

Enjoy:)

----

Tate

-Would definitely check for self-harm marks -If they were there, he would kiss them or lick the blood off them if they were fresh -Hold you while you cry -Would carefully listen to your insecurities and would try to tell you how beautiful you are to him -It wouldn’t matter how much you hated yourself or how much you felt like the world hated you because to him you were perfect and you always will be -Kiss your tears away -Suggest cuddling or watching a horror film so you can sit between his legs and he can wrap his arms around you to protect you

Kit

-You wouldn’t tell him you felt insecure, but he would be able to tell - “I’m not sure I’m doing the best I can” - “You’re the best wife, the best mother, the best person I’ve ever met, you’re everything we want and need and so much more” -Would carefully whisper everything to do, and would touch you ever so softly -Constantly tucking your hair behind your ear as he listened to you -Kiss your tears away -If you started explaining something in a panicky way, looking down, eyes filled with tears, then he would cup your cheeks in his firm hands and would put his thumb over your lips to shush you, then wipe your tears -Constantly hold you and place little kisses everywhere - “Isn’t mama the most beautiful lady alive?” -The kids would learn by example and would start giving you and each other compliments - “I love the way you can bake so well mama” -Kids are brutally honest so when they tell you you’re pretty, you legally cannot be insecure

Franken Kyle

-He would come up behind you and put his hands on your stomach, and when he squeezed it, you’d get pissed -Push his hands away and he would get the message -But later that day when he was spooning you and put his hand on your stomach again, you pushed his hands away and tried to explain that you didn’t want him touching it, which would make him sad -He would constantly be trying to squish your stomach or your thighs and you’d hate it -Until one day you couldn’t handle it anymore and snapped - “I constantly have to take your hands off me, what is your obsession with my fat? Can’t you tell it upsets me when you touch it?” -He would be really upset but also incredibly confused how you can not love it - “I love… tummy” - “Well I don’t, so stop touching it, please” -He would be upset but nod, until later than day in bed he would beg you to feel it - “I wanna… squish… please” -No Kyle, you would insist, because you felt like even though he didn’t know what he was doing, he was reminding you of your insecurities and flaws - “I love… so much”, he would say, laying his head on the bottom of your tummy and putting his arms around your thighs -You couldn’t help but run your fingers through his hair and understand that he can’t comprehend why you’d be insecure about something so soft and squishable -If a man not burdened by society’s rules and regulations loved you so much, why did you worry about the way you looked?

Jimmy

- “What do you have to be insecure about doll?” -Make sweet love to you -Kiss every inch of your body for days after your sad conversation -He would run you a big bubble bath and insist to wash you - “I’m not a child Jimmy, I can wash myself” - “Shhh just let Daddy take care of his princess” -It would make you blush and you would hesitantly let him run the sponge all around your body -The softness in his touch would give you shivers -He’d let you relax for a little bit but stay in the room to make sure you don’t cry -Might even carry you to the bed -Would insist on putting lotion on you -He would kiss every inch of your body as he rubbed the cream in - “You know what I love about you? You don’t care what people think, that’s why you’re okay being out with a freak like me in public” - “Jimmy I don’t care about your hands, I love you the way you are” - “Ironic, ain’t it babe?” -He’d laugh against your skin as he kissed you and it’d give you goosebumps -He’d start kissing your neck whispering compliments in your ear about how good you are at certain things and how gorgeous you are doing certain things - “Want Jimmy to cheer you up? The Jimmy method?” -If you need cheering up with a Jimmy smut, click the link here.

James

-Would be genuinely confused -Can’t comprehend that somebody as incredible and beautiful as you could be insecure ­- “I just feel so ugly” - “But you are fully aware, that you are not, right dear?” -Would buy you lots of new outfits and dresses to make you feel better -Would convince you to try them on for him and would tell you how immaculate you look in all of them - “Printed fonts aren’t as beautiful as true calligraphy, wouldn’t you agree?”. You hesitantly nod, unsure of what the link is to the current conversation you’re having. “It’s the imperfections… the little man-made details are what elevate an art piece, to a piece of art”, he explains, sliding his finger down the stretch mark on your thigh. - “The stories that your body tells darling… and you would prefer to have plain porcelain skin”, he says, almost mumbling, and clicks his tongue a couple times. -Incredible eye contact as he told you how beautiful you are -These headcannons closely link to the ones I wrote about the Evans cheering you up, if you want more detail on this James scenario, click here.

Kai

-If his softer side didn’t come out, he’d act like you’re stupid - “And how exactly is crying going to solve your issues?” - “Insecurities are what make you weak, it’s easier to manipulate you when you show your soft spots” -But if, somehow, his soft side did show, he would be a lot sweeter -You’d be curled up in bed sobbing your heart out -And he would come up and sit on the edge of the bed quietly, and listen to you cry for a bit, waiting for you to notice that he’s there -When you noticed you’d nervously ramble about how insecure you are and he’d tell you to stfu - “You don’t fit the cookie cutter? You make your own fucking cookies” - “Stop worrying. From now on, you walk like you are a gift to this world” - “If somebody questions your confidence, you show them why they’re wrong and you’re right” -He wouldn’t even realise how sweet the tough love was

Mrs March Ahs

-That’s me -I’d sit and listen carefully to you rambling about how insecure you are -I’d nod as I listen so you know I’m savouring every word and take in everything you’re saying -Let you rest your head on my big ol’ boobies as I stroke your head -You’d be automatically relaxed from sniffing me -I usually smell like oranges -I don’t eat them I just have a perfume that smells like oranges -Before you know it you’re drifting off to sleep forgetting about your insecurities as I sing one direction songs to you -Give you 143 compliments a day

[nitpick7]

Ayo anyone wanna see my essay on why removing Anybody Have A Map made the Dear Evan Hansen movie worse? It is slightly long

Disclaimer: I did like the movie (I cried three times), but I think they made some stupid decisions with it.

Dear Evan Hansen movie + musical spoilers under the cut, plus a fair amount of DEH neg/crit

Instead of Anybody Have A Map, they just have Evan's mom say "Hey are you writing those letters to yourself? Also you should ask the kids to sign your cast" before he goes to school and sings Waving Through A Window. They ignore every other part of the song and quickly insert the only thing from the song that's absolutely needed to understand the story so Evan can go be angsty at school. We don't even meet the Murphys until they meet Evan in the principal's office to tell him about Connor.

Disclaimer part 2 electric boogaloo: I complain about Evan a lot here. It's not because I think his experiences aren't valid and it's not because I'm trying to demonize people with mental illnesses or something. I know that his own struggles influenced his bad decisions. That doesn't mean they weren't bad decisions. He still did shitty things and he wasn't justified (listen to Words Fail), but I know it was influenced by his mental health.

On with the complaining!

First of all, the movie opens with Waving Through A Window? It feels like they're putting the most popular song first as a desperate grab for your attention to convince you the movie is good and like... they really didn't need to do that. Waving Through A Window is right after Anybody Have A Map, it's not like anyone's gonna walk out of the theatre after one (really good) song.

Anybody Have A Map establishes a few things: it shows us that both of these families are struggling so that we know immediately that the Murphys' perfect facade is fake, it shows us that Connor was a dick to his family (this is very important), and obviously it tells us why Evan was writing letters to himself. It also introduces us to the two main families at the same time so we know this story isn't just about Evan.

By starting the movie with an Evan solo song instead of the group song, they frame Evan as the one main character, the only person whose perspective we need to understand. But Evan is incredibly flawed, just like everyone else, and by making us think the story is only about him, it immediately makes us (the audience) more inclined to believe that Evan is always in the right and less inclined to consider everyone else's side of the story. Evan is an incredibly unreliable narrator, he's always going to frame his actions as correct, or at least excusable, even when he's actively hurting/lying to other people.

All of the Murphys get introduced through interacting with Evan instead of interacting with each other. This makes it seem like the Murphys only exist for Evan, but the entire point of the climax is that everything doesn't exist just for Evan! Evan is not part of their family, he can't just use everyone around him for his own benefit, and all of the Murphys have lives outside of him. When they're introduced through Evan, they're introduced as existing for Evan. Anybody Have A Map introduces them separately from Evan instead of attached to him.

Without Anybody Have A Map, we never actually see Connor being mean to Zoe, so she just looks like an asshole for not being sad about her dead brother. To make up for it, she's constantly having to tell the audience why she hated him, tripping over herself to talk about all the shitty things he did to her because we don't have Anybody Have A Map to show us their interactions. Zoe ends up complaining about her brother the entire time, so when it gets to Only Us and she says that she doesn't want everything to be about her brother, it seems out of character for her.

And with the removal of Anybody Have A Map, we don't ever see Connor interact with his own family in the movie. Anybody Have A Map is the only time we get to see Connor with his family. It shows us that Connor really was an asshole to his family, it justifies Zoe hating him, and it gives his mom more dimensions by showing her struggling to keep her family together even with everyone fighting against her. Without that, the writers ended up ignoring the most basic piece of writing advice - "show, don't tell" - to fill in the missing information from the song.

In the movie, all we get of Cynthia Murphy is... her being sad about Connor and refusing to admit that he ever did anything wrong. She's just boring and annoying in the movie, but in the musical, we get that bit at the beginning that shows her as an actual person with actual motivations! By cutting Anybody Have A Map, they made her into a more one-dimensional character.

So in a bit of a conclusion: Anybody Have A Map establishes the Murphys as main characters separate from Evan and shows us Connor's relationship with his family instead of telling us about it. It sets the scene for the story before just jumping into "Evan is sad and alone uwu anxious depressed soft boy" and makes everyone a better, more three-dimensional character. Getting rid of it meant that they had to do backflips to justify everyone's decisions during the movie instead of setting everything up at the beginning.

I do think the movie could've benefitted from Disappear but then again, it could've benefitted from the whole "Connor being the visual/vocal representation of Evan's justifications for why keeping up the lie is helping people" thing in general, but they got rid of that so Disappear wouldn't have worked. (I am salty that they got rid of that thing but whatever) The Anonymous Ones worked instead and it was a good song, so sure, why not I guess? /neutral

I could also complain about how they got rid of To Break In A Glove, Disappear, and Good For You, but none of those decisions actually impacted the story too much. To Break In A Glove and Good For You both got replaced with some tell-not-show cutscenes that gave us the same information in a less interesting way (and Larry got less character development without To Break In A Glove), and Disappear got replaced with an Alana song which was honestly pretty good so i'm fine with that one.

Now for some good changes that the movie made!

The Anonymous Ones was a good song, I actually really liked that. I'm disappointed that they got rid of Disappear, but they replaced it with another song that served the same purpose while also giving Alana more screen time and character depth! And it was a genuinely good song, I really enjoyed it and it made me like Alana more!

I really liked the ending of the movie. In the musical, there are literally no negative consequences for Evan, Zoe even forgives him at the end. She fucking forgives him for lying to her entire family about their dead son and and taking advantage of them because it "brought them closer together". And the internet never finds out what he did! He does all this terrible shit, lies to the entire fucking world, and gets away scot-free. And he never learns anything real about Connor. The movie changes all of that.

Connor's song was also a great addition! Every time we saw Connor in the musical, he was either being a dick or he was a fantasy version of himself made by Evan and/or Jared. Seeing that Connor can, in fact, be a nice person, that Cynthia's belief in him wasn't misplaced, was so satisfying. He really was just a meaner version of Evan a troubled kid lashing out at the world in self-defense. He wasn't an entirely bad person.

The Murphys still decide not to tell anyone what he did, but then Evan decides (on his own!) that he needs to own up to what he did. He records a video of himself admitting to what he did, shifts all the blame to himself, and then goes out of his way to fix his mistakes in any way he can. He says that his biggest regret is not getting to know Connor while he had the chance, so he goes online to find anything he can. He reads Connor's favorite books, tries to find anyone who might be able to tell him what Connor was like, and when he receives a video of Connor playing his song in rehab, he takes the time to send the video (through the mail, on a flash drive) to the Murphys, Jared, and Alana.

Evan doesn't contact Zoe at the end, she contacts him instead. She doesn't forgive him, and he doesn't ask for forgiveness. He knows what he did was wrong and he owns up to it and tries to fix it as much as possible, knowing full well that it could ruin his life. He does the right thing for the first time in the entire fucking movie (that's hardly even an exaggeration) and it's such a good ending. It makes more sense and is more satisfying than the musical.

The Dear Evan Hansen movie was not nearly as bad as the reviews say it was. It wasn't as good as the musical, it had its own problems, but it also made some good changes that I think made the story better. It wasn't perfect, but I enjoyed it and most movies aren't perfect anyway. It really could've benefitted from Anybody Have A Map, though.

[lesbianbuck-archived]

EVAN BUCKLEY WEEK DAY THREE - “I NEED YOU TO TRUST ME” + HURT

He had posted the pictures on Facebook. He had been expecting the phone call. He just hadn’t thought it would come in the middle of dinner with Bobby and Athena while Eddie and Christopher are there with him.

Buck excuses himself from the table and walks out into the backyard, sliding the door shut behind him. He holds his phone up to his ear. “Hi, mom.”

“Evan, what is this?”

Buck sighs. Proposing to Eddie had been the easiest decision he’s ever made, even though he had been terrified to actually do it. He had known the shit storm from his parents was going to come as soon as he put the pictures up online, but he’s decided that he’s done living his life in fear of what other people might think. It just hurts a little more when the judgement is coming from the people who raised him.

Well, that might be an overstatement. They were at least in the same house.

“I thought the pictures made it pretty clear,” Buck replies, faintly hearing the door slide open and shut behind him and feeling a hand on the small of his back soon after. Eddie. “I’m engaged.”

“To a man, Evan. I mean, is this some kind of cruel joke?”

Eddie inhales sharp and angry next to him, no doubt able to hear his mother through the phone. They share a look before Buck answers. “No, mom. Why would I post something like that as a joke?”

“Why would you post it at all? You don’t need that kind of attention, all those people looking into our lives—”

“I’m pretty sure it’s my life, not yours.” And just like he had in Maddie and Chim’s kitchen, Buck feels like a twelve-year-old again, fighting to deserve a place in the family. A place that had existed once, but not for him. He feels a little braver this time though. He attributes it to the gentle way that Eddie’s hand is keeping him steady. “I’m thirty-one. I’m more than capable of making my own decisions.”

“That’s clearly not true if these are the ones you’re making. Evan, we didn’t even know you were seeing anyone, and now you’re deciding to get married out of nowhere? You have no idea how big of a commitment—”

“I’ve been in love with him for almost five years, mom,” Buck retaliates, and he can’t help the soft way that he says it. He looks over at Eddie and he’s looking at Buck in slight disbelief. Buck assumes that Eddie had guessed that, but Buck has never confirmed it out loud. “It’s not out of nowhere.”

There’s silence on the line for a moment. “We didn’t know.”

The lights click off in the dining room as he shuffles from foot to foot. “That was on purpose. Because I knew you would react exactly like this.”

“And what’s wrong with that?” His mom sounds like she always does, like she can’t believe she could ever be in the wrong about anything. It makes Buck want to crawl into himself and hide as much as it did when he was a kid. “We’re worried about you. You don’t call, you don’t text, and you don’t ever come home for the holidays. What kind of parents do you think that makes us look like?”

Buck holds himself back from being brutally honest in his answer, instead reaching out and holding onto Eddie’s bicep for dear life. “You’re not worried about me. If you were, you would have come to the hospital when I almost died. Twice.”

Eddie whispers next to him. “Buck, you don’t have to have this conversation if you don’t want to. You can hang up.”

Buck shakes his head. He’s not going to win this conversation, but he’s at least going to say his piece. “Listen, mom. I forgave you and dad for the way you treated me growing up. I’m trying to move past the way you hurt me and do better, and it’s working. And sure, part of it is therapy, but another big part of it is Eddie. I need you to trust me and my ability to make decisions for myself, so if you want a place in my life, then you have to be okay with Eddie having a place in it too.”

“Evan—”

“It’s Buck.”

His mother sighs through the phone. “Buck. This… this man, you’re sure you’re ready to commit the rest of your life to him?”

“His name is Eddie,” Buck seethes, gripping Eddie’s arm harder. “And yes, I know, and I’m sure. I’ve never been surer about anything.”

“A marriage takes work, you know.”

“It’s not work to me. Not if it’s him.” His mother doesn’t respond to that, but he hears Eddie’s breath stutter. Buck slides his hand down and Eddie moves his off Buck’s back so they can push their fingers together. “I gotta go. I’m in the middle of dinner with Bobby and Athena, and I’d like to get back to it if you don’t mind.”

A beat of silence. “I just hope you aren’t making a mistake.”

Buck hangs up.

He stares down at his phone in his hand, the screen dark. “Love you too,” he mutters sarcastically.

Eddie turns to him and places his palm on Buck’s cheek, rubbing his thumb soothingly against his cheekbone. “Well, it could have been worse. You spoke very highly though, which I appreciate.”

Buck huffs a breath out. “Well you won’t do it yourself, so I have to do it for you.”

Buck isn’t really expecting it when Eddie leans in and kisses him softly, lingering until Buck feels the itch under his skin he didn’t even realize was there dissipating. When Eddie pulls back, his eyes are shining. “Kinda wish you would have mentioned my stellar ass, though.”

“You’re right, maybe that would have changed her mind.”

The sliding glass door opens and Athena calls out to them. “You boys still hungry? Dinner is cold now, but dessert just finished up if you want to come inside.”

Eddie laughs as Buck tugs him back into the house for dessert, and yeah, Buck never doubted for a second that this man is it for him. Bobby calls Eddie and Christopher into the kitchen to help serve dessert and Athena pulls him aside. “You okay, Buckaroo? I know your family can be frustrating.”

He looks at Athena with her casual concern, at Bobby who is staring at the both of them from over the kitchen island with worry and love on his face, at Eddie who somehow got chocolate frosting on his nose and is making goofy faces at his son. At their son, soon.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” he says, and for once he means it. “I’ve got my real family right here.”