#but I do believe Dean would talk to her and try to comfort her the best he could

[masakia]

A lot of feelings about this one episode in season 6 where Ben tries to get his mom and Dean backs together and when Dean goes talk to him about how he can't be around, he starts talking about how Ben will turn out like him if he stays and Ben can't understand why Dean thinks he is so bad, because for him Dean is just the dad he never had, who sure could be messed up at times but still, as far as we know Dean was his only paternal figure for a long time.

And thinking about this in the context of the babyfic, how Dean thinks he is setting up his daughter for failure with a hunter life, he would give everything for her to be able to have a normal life with school, friends and stupid school dances that he would drive her to, but he has no idea how to give her those things.

[deanbrainrotwritings]

— BOULEVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS

SUMMARY : sharing a room with sam when dean has the sex drive that he has usually means he has to be quiet when he’s doing the dirty with his girl.

PAIRING : dean winchester x fem!reader

CHARACTERS : sam winchester

WARNINGS : smut, nsfw (18+), fluff, alcohol, sub!dean, exhibitionism tbh, ✨saliva✨

WORD COUNT : 2.9k

A/N : title from green day’s song. I believe in subby dean and I love him! so, here’s the first dean fic I wanna share. I really appreciate y’all :’) Xx

Dean grunted softly as he moved his hand up and down his cock. He smirked beside him at his sleeping girlfriend, and then looked ahead at the silhouette of his hand beneath the sheets moving up and down, outlined by the street light shining through the thin curtains. The sound of the sheets ruffling was loud in the nighttime, almost muffling the sound of his cock, and he carefully shoved the sheets off himself while keeping Y/N blanketed.

He closed his eyes, bit his lip and started to picture Y/N sucking his dick. He pictured her awake comfortably naked between his legs with her hot mouth wrapped around him. It was more exciting knowing that she was sleeping next to him, that he was imagining her pleasuring him the way he knew she could if she were awake. He was so turned on, but he was mostly teasing himself, being quiet enough that Sam wouldn’t wake up, but loud enough so that Y/N would.

Sam had gotten drunk with Dean, but unlike Dean, he blacked out as soon as his overgrown body hit the bed. That meant nothing was waking Sam up anytime soon, not a monster, not an apocalypse, not even the way Dean panted trying to get himself off. He didn’t mind edging himself a bit longer, he was willing to wait as long as he had to before she woke up and gave him what he needed. And he needed her real bad, so he wasn’t gonna stop, but he wasn’t gonna let himself finish either.

After the hunt, a successful case of killing a pack of werewolves in the woods, Dean decided to take Y/N and Sam out for drinks. The thing was, when Dean got drunk, he became more clingy than usual and he would start acting cute. He remembered bits and pieces of what he did when he was drunk. From getting her into his lap while he talked to Sam and some random hunter in a green, leathery booth. To the way he clung to her the whole time, when he’d drunkenly gone and played pool with a bunch of idiot college students trying and successfully hustling them.

He remembered constantly kissing her cheek, holding her soft face in his hands to make out with her when he dragged her around the bar finding different things to do with himself. And he remembered flirting with her. He remembered that cute little smile on her face and the even more adorable blush that painted her cheeks when he gave her his famous smoulder.

He remembered that she’d stopped drinking after just one drink. She was taking care of him and Sam. She’d driven them back to the motel and she babied him into bed despite the fact that he was trying to seduce her. He blushed at the memory, the way he kissed her neck and groped her beautiful body, making it hard for her to take his clothes off so he could sleep comfortably.

He moaned softly at a particular twist around his cock, and he changed his fantasy, preferring to imagine all the dirty things Y/N would say to him as she fucked him. He could faintly remember how her walls felt around him, her sweaty body pressed against his, setting his skin on fire with her touch. Her name fell from his lips, spilled into the quiet room, and she shifted beside him at last. He whispered her name again and again, praying that she would wake up and make him cum herself.

He slowed the pace in which he jerked himself off when she nuzzled into his bicep, her soft lips still against his tense muscle. She mumbled something against his skin, but could only hear the sleep in her voice and was unable to decipher a word she said. He gazed down at her and squinted his eyes to make out her face, but he couldn’t see much as she was shadowed by his body. He only felt her hand move down his chest, warm and soft against his body. He gasped, squirmed when she brushed her fingertips against his tummy, and squeezed his eyes shut when she wrapped her small hand over his.

“You’re so loud,” she murmured, her voice thick with sleep.

“Y/N,” he moaned, letting her fingers replace his. She stroked him lazily, felt her little smirk against his arm when he moved his hips up in search of more friction. “Please,” he whined quietly. He turned his whole body to face her so she changed her hand’s position, squeezing his cock torturously and rubbing her thumb over the leaking slit of his cockhead. “I can’t,” he gasped, pressing his forehead against hers.

She let go of his cock and pressed her lips firmly against his, “I’ve got you, baby,” she murmured against his mouth. His fingers dug into her waist, pulling her closer to him. “What do you want? Tell me, Dean,” she teased, moving her lips along his jaw and neck, thrilled to hear his heavy breaths.

“You,” he whispered, “I need you, need to be inside you right now,” he moaned. He pawed at her hips and started to tug her underwear down impatiently. She giggled, helped him get them off her, and laughed when he hung them over the lamp. He smiled softly at the sound and moved on top of her, settling between her opened legs before he leaned down to kiss her.

He slid his cock through her wet folds, felt her wiggle her hips, and gasp against his mouth when he pressed the head of his cock against her clit. “I thought you were too needy,” she whined playfully. He felt her pout against his lips and pulled away slightly attempting to make her face out in the darkness, only the yellow glow from outside illuminated her. He chuckled at her and grasped her hip, pinning her down to the mattress as he panted against her parted lips.

“You’re such a little tease,” he laughed softly, smirking at her when he sat back on his legs, lifting her legs onto his thighs.

He used the streetlight to guide his cock to her slick entrance, his plump lips parting with satisfaction at the sight of her glistening cunt stretching around his cockhead. He slid into her smoothly and he stared—utterly enchanted, as she took every inch of him until he was buried fully in her warmth.

“Like that?” He asked smugly and she rolled her eyes, her hands flexing on her thighs, squirming from how big he was. Dean smirked down at her when he noticed, swivelling his hips tortuously just to feel the clench of her walls around him. He collected saliva in his mouth and watched it drip down to her pussy, right on her folds.

He licked his lips to clear the lingering spit on his swollen lips and brought his thumb to her clit to smear his saliva over the sensitive nerve. He gently moved his hips against her, turned on at the sight of the black shirt she wore haphazardly scrunched around her waist from the angle he had her positioned in.

He leaned over her, placed his arm by her head, and dropped loving kisses along her jaw. Her heavy breaths mingled with his, the only sound bouncing off the cheap walls besides the gentle sound of the bedsprings. He used various methods to massage her clit until she was squirming beneath him again. Her walls continued to pulse around him, wet, warm, and driving him crazy. “I’m not gonna last,” he whispered shyly against her shoulder.

She pushed up against him gently with her hips, her hands held onto his triceps, so he moved back a little to check on her. “Everything okay?” He asked softly, distractedly slowing down the circles on her clit to study her flushed face.

When she nodded, he kissed her forehead, and started to pull out slightly to thrust back into her again, but he didn’t expect her to shove him back slightly, forcing his cock to slip out of her all the way.

He looked at her with confusion, “wha-“

He caught himself with his arms behind him, stared at her as his shirt she wore slipped down and covered her naked body again. She climbed onto his lap again, “you’re so pretty,” she murmured. Holding his chin with her fingers, she swiped her thumb across his bottom lip and his breath hitched. His cheeks started to warm up at the tingling that followed her finger along his lip and he whined again. “Shh, stop being so loud,” she told him quietly, and leaned forward to silence him with a heated kiss.

He slid his hands between her legs, shoving two fingers into her without a care, pumping them in and out, moaning into her mouth at the squelch his fingers and her cunt made around him. She sucked on his bottom lip and he groaned, grinding his palm against her clit and adding a third finger, feeling like he could cum just from the wetness that started to cover his knuckles and wrist.

“I love it when you get needy,” she panted, moving his hand away by grabbing his wrist. She lifted his wet fingers to her lips and licked her arousal off them, keeping her eyes on his as his lips parted in surprise. “Are you gonna cum?” She teased, placing his hands on her hips under the shirt she wore.

“Stop teasing me,” he whispered, swallowing some saliva to moisten his dry throat. She laughed quietly and he bit his lip, becoming flustered with her confidence. “Please,” he begged softly, lowering her hips to press against his so her wet pussy could brush against his throbbing cock.

She let out a faint hum, letting him fuck himself with both amusement and fascination. He closed his eyes despite wanting to feel demeaned by the look on her face and got lost in the tiny fragments of pleasure he was feeling. He pressed his forehead against her shoulder, focusing on teasing her soaked entrance with the soft head of his cock until she gave in and shifted to let him slip inside her.

“Fuck… yes,” he moaned, gripping her hips tightly as her warmth and her slick coated his cock. She ground her hips against his, squeezing his cock until he whined and bucked his hips up into her. “Fuck, don’t do that,” he hissed.

She chuckled mischievously, then shushed him as she slowly rolled her hips against his, his mouth parting. A broken moan left his lips, but it was immediately muffled by him when he bit her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her waist. He thrusted his hips upwards, slowly moving in and out of her until she was pushing him onto his back and riding him.

He screwed his eyes shut, biting his lip so hard he thought he’d taste his blood soon. His fingers dug into the flesh of her hips, bruising her soft skin with his desperate touch. His eyes fluttered open to watch her lift herself up and down with her lips parted and swollen. He felt like cumming just at the sight of her and she must have expected a loud moan to fall from his now open mouth because she put her hand over it just as a groan rumbled in his chest, deep and hot.

Her walls spasmed around him, a quiet curse falling from her lips. She looked over at Sam cautiously, picking up the pace and keeping her hand over his mouth. He felt even more turned on, noting the way she shifted her hips to add friction to her clit. He whined against her hand, desperately meeting her thrusts as the bed springs started to squeak louder.

He didn’t even care if Sam woke up anymore, he tugged her hips forward, wanting her full attention on him. He felt his cock swell and twitch inside her, so close to spilling hot inside her. She was driving him crazy, especially with the way her walls squeezed his cock so tight as if it would shut her up.

It drove him over the edge and he came inside her almost involuntarily. Another moan from him heated her palm. She gasped from the unexpectedness of it, leaning over him, her soft hair tickling his skin. She moaned loudly into the bed, pressed her face into the sheets by his head as she trembled and came on his cock. Her warm walls quivered and dripped around him, her hips moving on his cock slower as she rode out her orgasm, his sweaty skin sticking to hers.

She turned her face slightly, her warm breath tickling his ear. He lifted his hand up to move her hair behind her ear and she removed her hand from his mouth, resting it over his thumping heart. They both laid there for a few moments, unmoving, panting in an attempt to catch their breaths and clear their hazy minds. He lovingly pressed kisses along her cheek, temple, and the tip of her ear, rubbing his hand up and down her sides under her shirt.

“That was so hot,” he said after a while, sounding breathless and hoarse. She laughed tiredly and she started to lift the top of her body off him, only to lean forward and kiss him deeply. He was smiling, his mouth readily open for her. His tongue slipped into her minty mouth, soft tongues rolling over each other languidly.

Both of them smiled into the kiss and he wrapped his arm around her waist, moving her onto her back and slipping out of her, careless about the mess he was making between their bodies. She hummed softly against his mouth, a little laugh making her part from his lips. He continued to admire her, fixing her sex hair as best as he could before he dropped a kiss on her forehead, trailing his lips down to her warm cheeks and neck.

“We have a long drive tomorrow, D,” she murmured, her nails gently scratching his scalp, “you should sleep now, I’ll take care of the mess.” He moaned quietly, agreeing with her, pressing his face into her neck and kissed the spot his lips were closest to.

“Mkay,” he mumbled, moving up off her. He looked around for his boxers and felt the bed shift as she made her way to the restroom to clean herself up. He grabbed her underwear off the lamp and grabbed his phone, using the lowest light level to check if they’d stained the sheets.

Despite having told him she’d take care of it, he didn’t listen. He shoved the clean sheets away, feeling both shy and prideful at the mess, and pulled the dirty covers off to hide them as best as he could and replaced them as quickly as he could with clean ones he always made sure to ask for beforehand when they got a room.

He moved out of bed when he was done, waddling to the bathroom with her underwear in his hand. He smiled fondly when he found her washing her hands with the water hardly turned on so it wouldn’t be loud and wake Sam up.

“Your underthings,” he said with a grin, holding them up for her. She turned to look at him and chuckled, drying her hands with a towel to take her underwear from him. “Allow me, my love,” he said dramatically, stopping her from taking them. She gave him a look but played along.

He squatted down in front of her and lifted her leg with his hand around her ankle. She held onto his shoulder for balance, allowing him to help her into her underwear with an amused and affectionate smile on her face that glowed in her eyes.

“Thanks, Dean,” she murmured. She pecked his lips when he stood back up to her face, after having pulled the soft cotton up her legs and comfortably in place around her hips. He squeezed her ass playfully, drawing a laugh from her.

She followed him with her eyes when he moved towards the sink to wash his hands with soap and warm water. She waited for him patiently, leaning against the doorway and playing with the hem of the black t-shirt. She admired him this time, took in the messy and soft spikes of his hair, his teeth pulling at his plump lip. He was gorgeous and he looked over at her, his eyes warm and loving as he took her in too.

“Let’s go to bed, my little flower.” Dean dried his hands with the same towel she used and reached out for her hand, seeing her roll her eyes and snort at the new pet-name he was trying out for her. “You know you like all the names I give you,” he smirked down at her, turning the lights off after her to make their way back to bed.

“I do,” she admitted after a while, biting her lip to stop her happy smile. He could see her thanks to the bright lights outside and the drawn curtains. A delightful feeling filled his stomach and made him feel warm all over. He took her face in his hands, giving her the type of kiss people would give each other if they were saying hello after missing each other their whole lives.

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[apocalypseornaw]

Comfort

You're hurting and Dean comes to the rescue

Talk of period stuff, fluff

Maybe it was internalized misogyny, maybe it was not wanting to look weak or maybe you'd been with the boys for so long you'd picked up on their self destructive tendencies but you hated admiting you were hurt. You'd argue injuries weren't that bad on hunts so you damn sure wasn't about to admit that your period had you doubled up in bed even after taking ibuprofen and having a heating pad tucked tightly against you.

You groaned as you attempted to find a position that meant the rolling cramps in your stomach and back would allow you to sleep but so far you'd been unsuccessful.

You must have dozed off at some point because you woke up to the unmistakable sound of Dean's knock at your door. "Come in" you called out, sitting up in an effort to make it seem like you'd simply been asleep instead of in pain. He walked in and was carrying two bags, one from the pharmacy and one from the grocery store.

He held up the pharmacy bag "I talked to that lady that works the front counter and she says this is the stuff that helped her daughter and now her granddaughter so I figured that was good. I got you more of your products too along with a new heating pad because yours is older than you are because you got it from Bobby" you blinked the tears forming in your eyes away as he held up the grocery store bag "and I got all your favorite snacks,plus a few of my favorite"

"How did you know?" You asked and he grinned "Come on sweetheart, I'm not that dumb. For one you barely sleep in here anymore besides when you want to be alone and you rarely want to be alone besides when you're on your period. And I can count weeks, I try to keep a track so we don't take on any cases that you feel like you need to help us on during this week so you don't overwork yourself" a few tears slipped down your cheeks and his eyes widened "Oh shit, baby did i do something wrong? Forget something?"

You shook your head "No baby. I just love you so damn much" his grin returned, bigger than it had been "I love you too sweetheart. Do you need anything?" "Will you lay down with me?" He nodded "of course" he laid the bags on the dresser and kicked off his boots before getting into bed next to you. He curled up to your back and wrapped one strong arm around your stomach. A moan left your lips when the cramp that had been starting in your lower stomach stopped from the pressure of his arm "Dean Winchester you are the perfect man"

He chuckled behind you and left a kiss on the side of your neck "I think you're a bit delirious from lack of sleep but I'll talk the compliment" you shook your head "nope, you're perfect. Gorgeous, strong, amazing hunter, bit of a dork, a god in bed and a sweetheart at your core"

Dean could feel his cheeks warm at your words "As much as I am loving this darlin, you need sleep. When you wake up you can continue showering me with compliments ok?" You yawned and nodded "I plan to until the day comes that you finally believe it"

You dozed off a little while later and Dean tucked himself a bit closer to you to make sure his arm didn't slip should he doze off. The position he was in had pressure where you needed it the most. He placed a gentle kiss to your neck and whispered "I love you" before getting comfortable on the pillow himself and closing his eyes.

[kaleldobrev]

Dean Winchester Masterlist

A rebloggable Dean Winchester Masterlist for your viewing and reading pleasure. All stories are Dean Winchester x F. Reader unless otherwise stated

Authors Note: Will update this as I post more stories

Come on Tiger (823) | You convince Dean to come to bed

You’re Not Normal (College AU) (556) | The reader and Dean become friends in a weird way

Happy Father’s Day (1.2k) |It’s Father’s Day, and the reader has some news to tell Dean

One Day (1.2k) | The reader and Dean talk about their dream life away from hunting

You Don’t Mean That (Demon!Dean) (2.3k) | Sam and the reader finally find Dean and bring him back to the Bunker. Sam says not to talk to Dean before they cure him, but the reader has other plans.

I Love The Way You… (2.9k) | Dean wants to propose to you but isn’t really sure how, so he asks Sam, Jody, and Donna for help

Nightmare Cure (1.6k) | You struggle with nightmares. So Dean comes up with a way to help you.

Autumn Vibes (1.2k) | Dean creates a new recipe in honor of the fall season.

A Date with Dean: Lucky Strikes (5.8k) | Dean and you go bowling for this weeks date night. But decide to make it a little bit more interesting.

The Comforts of a Winchester (2.2k) | Having a nightmare sucks, but at least you have Dean to comfort you.

I Dream of You (1.7k) | Dean dreams of a life with you, but do you?

Pizza, Beer & Zeppelin IV (1.2k) | Dean is surprised to find out what your ideal first date is; and he’s more than happy to oblige

You Deserve Love (2k) | Sometimes Dean needs reassurance that you love him

A Small Part of You (2.3k) | Although Dean is gone, at least you’ll always have a part of him

I Love Her, That’s Why (2.2k) | Dean thought that he was doing a pretty good job at hiding his feelings for you…until Jack started asking questions.

You Make Me Happy (2.3k) | With you doing what he believes to be an incredibly reckless thing on a hunt, Dean finally realizes how much you really mean to him

Old Man (3.4k) | Dean never had a problem with the age gap between you two; not until now any way

Without Hesitation, Yes (2.6k) | After all these years, Dean finally asks you to marry him.

Spitting Image (2.8k) | You think Dean looks like one of your favorite characters. Dean on the other hand…doesn’t see the resemblance.

Come Back Home (4.5k) | After a relationship ending argument that caused you to leave the Bunker, you and Dean haven’t heard from/seen each other in over a year. Are there still sparks between you two? The better question is: Did they ever truly leave in the first place?

Daddy in a Different Way (2.5k) | A simple misunderstanding leads an older woman to believe that you and Jack are together, not you and Dean. But Dean does a “very good job” at clearing things up…But maybe not in the best way.

Pumpkin Muffins (930) | You and Dean decide to try new nicknames for each other

Days Like These (1.4k) | You and Dean decide to spend the day in while it’s raining outside.

Mutual Pining (4.3k) | Dean and you are in love with each other, and it’s obvious to everyone but the two of you

Please Don’t Leave (2k) | Dean’s lucky to have you in his life and honestly doesn’t know what he would ever do without you

New Record (1k) | Dean and you set a new record

Pillow Talk (1.2k) | A common theme of yours and Dean’s pillow talks happen to be about having that white picket fence and apple pie life

Happy Anniversary (Non-Hunters AU) (2k) | You and Dean celebrate your 18-year wedding anniversary

It’s Okay (1.8k) | Dean’s a little jealous that Sam still talks to you and not him

I Finally Get It (2.7k) | Dean thinks he looks like a character from one of your favorite slasher films. You on the other hand…don’t see the resemblance.

Genuinely Happy (506) | You and Dean enjoy a nice car ride together while you admire how genuinely happy he looks

Coming & Going (1.8k) | You want Dean to stay, but will he?

What Are We? (2.1k) | Dean and you do a lot of couple things together but yet…you’re not a couple, and you often wonder why.

Stupidest Person Alive (1.7k) | After a near death experience in which you almost lost Dean, you tell him that you can’t risk losing him again.

The Day Before (743) | Dean comforts you when you get a migraine

Once Mine (Michael!Dean) (1.3k) | Michael thinks him possessing Dean can be a win-win for the both of you

Knew You’d Come Around (Michael!Dean) (1.5k) | Michael’s happy you’ve finally come around

Comfortable? (516) | Falling asleep in Dean’s lap while he’s driving

Would You Like To… (978) | You and Dean have been dating for a few months, and now he’s trying to figure out how to ask you to move into his room

Midnight Confessions (1k) | You and Dean have a “heart-to-heart” conversation on the way to Stanford to pick up Sam

Hauled Up (1.5k) | Sam recruits you to try and convince Dean to stop hauling up in his room

When You’re Ready (1.8k) | A case hits you particularly hard and all you want to do is be alone

Never the Favorite (844) | You finally try and set the record straight

Screw Consciousness (410) | Taking a nap with Dean after a long drive

Things Overheard (2k) | Dean overhears a private conversation between you and Sam

I’ve Got Ya (162) | Dean trying to comfort you after a nightmare

Blush (389) | For the first time in your life, you can say you’ve made Dean Winchester blush

Taste (657) | Dean going down on you in the back of Baby

Under Control (2.3k) | Dean keeps reassuring you that he has everything under control in terms of the Mark. But does he really?

Just Right (1.9k) | Dean hates when you’re sick. Not only can he not kiss his best girl without the possibility of getting sick himself. But you also can’t make one of his favorite things to start off his day: his morning coffee.

Not the Same (Endverse AU) (4.7k) | Part One | Part Two

Coffee Kisses (3.3k) | Part One | Part Two

Old Man / Age Gap Universe

Shiny New Toy (Demon!Dean)

Supernatural: Purgatory Masterlist | 3/? parts done

My Hero Masterlist | ¾ parts done

Dean dressing up as a cowboy for a case and using Old West style pick-up lines

Introducing Dean to phone apps

Going to karaoke night with Dean at a bar

Pretending to be married to Dean for a case

Eating Halloween candy with Dean

Being one of the only witches Dean can stand

Getting Dean the perfect birthday present

Dean still worrying about you even though you’ve broken up

Dean still answering your calls even though you’ve broken up

Finding out you’re Dean’s soulmate from Apocalypse World Michael

Wanted Posters (Incorrect Quotes)

Dating Dean Poem/Moodboard

[winchestersisterimaginessss]

My Sister’s Keeper

Dean went to hell and Sam left his little sister (16/17 yo) to fend for herself. Dean gets back and he is pissed with Sam and they have to find her. Fluff

Warnings- swearing, angst, fluff lol

A/N- I kind of changed the way Dean was brought back. Instead of going right to Bobby he found Sam first. Let me know if you think I should do a part 2?

“She’s a fucking kid Sam,” Dean let out an angry yell. He couldn’t believe that Sam had ditched their baby sister when she needed him the most. His heart ached as he thought about the times he reassured her that when he was in Hell she would always have Sam and that he would take care of her. He knew that she still wasn’t convinced and it made leaving so much harder, but he had no choice. After all, Dean had raised her and Sam had left them both multiple times. His heart panged when he thought about where she could be all alone. The look of horror on his face when he came to realization, “A young girl at that!” Dean grimaced. God forbid someone touched a hair on her head, they would be dead and Dean would make sure of it. He couldn’t imagine his baby sister alone and scared fending for herself. Sure she was tough, but she was just a kid and he knew her better than she knew herself. He knows that when she claims she’s okay after a hunt, its clear she isn’t as her body betrays her words and she trembles until he or Sam rub her back and let her know that she’s safe. It doesn’t take an idiot to notice the flash of panic on her face after a door slams or a loud noise is heard. Or when they have to calm her down during a panic attack or comfort her in the middle of the night during a nightmare. Or the way she clings to Sam or Dean’s shirt every night when she falls asleep. She was tougher than hell, but at the end of the day she’s just a kid who was forced to live this life. Dean looked at Sam and saw the look of regret that filled his face. “You better fucking find her Sam or I swear to God,” Dean trailed off grabbing his phone to call Bobby, putting it on speaker phone. The phone rang a few times until Bobby picked up, “Hello?” “Hey Bobby it’s Dean, have you heard from Y/N,” Dean asked as he shot a look at Sam. Bobby replied, “I talked to her last week and she said her and Sam were getting close finding you a way out,” Sam’s heart panged as he realized that she told Bobby he was with her so no one would worry about her. She never wanted to be a bother to anyone and he felt even worse knowing she was trying everything in her power to get Dean back while he ran off with a demon. Something that none the less probably cost her her soul. He should have been with her and he will never forgive himself for leaving. But he thought he was doing the right thing in the moment. Now looking back at it he wasn’t sure how he thought that because right now he was terrified at the thought of her being alone or worse, hurt. Sam’s emotions were interrupted by Bobby speaking again, “And I can see that it worked. Welcome back boy.” “Thanks Bobby, do you have an address of where she might be?” Dean replied. Bobby hummed “No, but I have a town.” Dean let out a sign of relief. He grabbed the keys and turned to Sam, “You better hope she’s safe Sam. Let’s go.”

They got into the car and Dean took off. They were about 3 hours out from the town that Bobby sent over. Luckily it was a pretty small town and there was one motel that they could pretty much pinpoint where she could be staying. The car ride was agonizingly quiet and Sam was forced to be stuck in his thoughts on how awful of a brother he’s been. He was too worried about killing Lilith while she was too busy trying to find a way to bring Dean back. He was fucking selfish and he should have been focused on his only living sibling left that was trying to bring back their other non living sibling. He decided to break the silence, “Dean I’m so fucking sorry, I screwed up man and I screwed up bad. I’ll never fucking forgive myself.” Dean scoffed, “Yeah you shouldn’t be able to forgive yourself Sam. She’s just a kid, I don’t understand how you could EVER leave her like that. She needed you the most and you left her. We don’t even know if she’s alive,” Dean gripped the steering wheel and pressed the gas harder thinking the worst possible scenario. He continued, “She found a way to bring me back and we know how that story ends Sam.” Sam filled to the brim with guilt, “I’ll fix everything, I promise Dean, I won’t let anything else happen to her.” The car went back to silence as both brothers continued to hope their baby sister was alright.

It was around 1am when they finally arrived at the motel. The engine roared as Dean turned the car off. They got out and hurried to the front desk. “Hi. how can I help you?” The man behind the desk asked. They both pulled out their FBI badges and stated who they were looking for. The guy pointed them to a room and they rushed to what they were hoping was Y/N’s room. She’s always been a light sleeper so when Dean started to pick the lock to her door, she immediately heard it. Her heart dropped and she grabbed her knife to give her a fighting chance against her intruders. She quickly glided across the motel room and put her back against the wall. It was pitch black, but she could make out two figures. One was much taller than the other, but they were both pretty big which made her gulp. There was no one way she could take on the both of them and she knew that. They picked the lock with ease and started to make their way into her room. They took a few steps in and that’s when Y/N charged at them. The taller one of the two immediately turned around and just before she could make contact with him, he grabbed her. She immediately dropped her knife as he pinned her wrist back and slammed her against the wall. She let out a yelp and braced her head for impact, but instead of feeling the hard wall against her head it was the palm of a hand. She was confused, but she still whimpered terrified. “Please,” she cried, “please don’t hurt me.” As she pleaded, the light to the motel room flicked on and she was finally able to make out the person in front of her. “Hey hey it’s alright,” it was Sam. “Sammy,” she whimpered. Still clearly dazed, confused, and frightened. Sam loosened his grip on his sister and wrapped his large arms around her small frame, “Yeah, hey shhhh bug I got you. I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.” She cried, flinging her arms around him and holding him tight like he could disappear at any moment. To be fair, he could disappear at any moment and he did. They stayed like that for a few moments before rage took over her. She pulled away, crying and started hitting him. “How could you Sam,” she cried. Slapping his chest and hitting him over and over again, “How could you fucking leave me. I-I needed you Sam. I needed you and you left me,” she sobbed. She was weak with exhaustion, but Sam let her hit him because he deserved every single blow even if it barely hurt him.

Dean stood back watching his little sister. He was taken aback by how fragile she looked. She definitely lost weight as she was much skinnier. He noticed dark heavy bags under her eyes like she had been crying every single day for months straight. He couldn’t take it anymore, his sister was clearly suffering and he wasn’t around to help her. In fact, no one was around to help her. He couldn’t watch her crumble any longer so he came up behind her and embraced her. He pinned her frailing arms down with his and held her in a tight hug from behind. She fought against him, crying when Dean calmly spoke, “Hey hey hey Y/N/N I’m going to need you to relax for me alright?” She stood frozen, “De?” “Yeah, I got you sweetheart, I got you. I’m so sorry,” He released his hold as she turned around and launched herself onto him. Dean wrapped his arms around her and she gripped onto Deans shirt for dear life. She whimpered, “De I was so scared.” Dean felt his heart drop even further, “I know kid, I know. Shhhh it’s okay, I’m here. I got you.” Dean tightened his grip on her and rested his clenched jaw on her head shooting Sam a look. Sam watched them both, feeling sick to his stomach. How could he have done this to his baby sister? This is no life for a kid. He knew that too and that’s why the pit in his stomach only grew bigger. A sob interrupted Sam’s thoughts as Y/N’s emotions began to escalate. He watched as she collapsed, falling into their older brothers arms. Dean quickly sunk to the floor with her as her breathing hitched. He could feel her heart hammering against her rib cage and knew he needed to get her out of her panicked state before she passed out. “Hey hey hey hey Y/N/N breathe for me sweetheart, breathe.” She felt her chest start to tighten which frightened her even more. Her breathing was erratic at this point and she dug her finger tips into deans arms. “Hey kid, you’re having a panic attack okay? It’s alright. I’ve got you. You’re safe okay?” She nodded still trembling, still gasping. He repositioned her so she was sitting in between his legs with her back pressed against him to feel the rise and fall of his chest. “I need you to breathe with me. Can you do that sweetheart?” Dean felt her nod and continued “Yeah? Okay. We’re going to breathe out for 10. Come on bug 10…9…8…7…” She matched Dean’s breath which ended up hitching on 7. Dean reached down to rub her arms, “Keep going kid. You got it. 3…2…1…” He walked her through breathing in and out a few more times until he felt satisfied enough to where he knew she wouldn’t pass out. He sighed in relief, wrapping his arms around her and resting his chin on her head, “That’s it sweetheart, I got you.” He could still feel her heart pounding though so he pulled her onto his lap like he did when she was a child and ran his fingers through her hair. “It’s alright, I’m here now and I’m not leaving. You’re safe with me kiddo. I’ve got you.”

She sat on the floor with Dean for what felt like hours while he comforted her. Eventually Sam made his way over unable to see his baby sister hurt any longer. He sat down and brushed her hair away from her face, “I’m so sorry bug. You have every right to be upset with me. I let you down and I caused you so much pain. I just thought I was doing the right thing for all of us. If I could go back in time, I would change it. I’m so incredibly sorry for everything, but I’m here now and I’m not leaving you ever.” Sam let a few tears escape his eyes. Y/N reached to grab his hand, “I forgive you Sammy. I’m sorry for hitting you.” Sam chuckled. His baby sister was too nice for her own sake. “I deserved it,” he said. She shot her head back up and looked between her two brothers. “How did you get out?” She asked, not knowing if she really wanted to know the answer. She was scared that a crossroads demon finally took Sam up on his offer for his soul. Her heart rate picked up again while she waited for her brothers to give her an answer. “I don’t know how I got out. I thought it was either you or Sam who figured it out, but Sam didn’t,” he trailed off looking at her with worried eyes. She blinked, “No it wasn’t me. I tried Dean, I tried so hard to save you. I- I tried. I’m so sorry. I-I couldn’t figure it out.” Dean’s face softened, “Hey sweetheart it’s okay. Thank you, but I wish it wasn’t put on you in the first place. I would have never wanted this for you. I’m so sorry.” He could tell she was filled with so much guilt when she shouldn’t be. It crushed him and he rubbed her arm, “I’m here now.” Y/N had so many questions, but all she knew was that she was back with her brothers and that’s all that mattered to her. She was exhausted and eventually let the darkness flow over her. “Get some rest kid, we’ll be here when you wake up,” she heard Dean say. She could finally sleep peacefully knowing she had both of her brother back.

[morganwrites12672]

Abandon

Sam Winchester x Reader

Summary: After the worst fight he's ever had with his father, Sam goes to the only person he can for comfort.

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: ANGST. John is a piece of shit. Arguing. Crying. Daddy issues.

A/N: Have fun crying!

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Whenever Sam had finally gotten back from visiting her, he hadn't expected Dean and John to be waiting up for him in the small living room of the motel. He awkwardly shrugged off his jacket before tossing it over the back of the couch.

He could feel his father's eyes burning into his skin. John must be pissed off about something. It seemed like Sam couldn't do anything without upsetting the older man. His good mood vanished.

"You have something you want to tell me?" John asked, and Sam just knew. He knew exactly what John meant. There was nothing else that would have his father looking this pissed.

Sam swallowed thickly, he shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. He looked between Dean and John. John looked pissed, his fists clenched, his jaw tight. Dean looked different. He looked almost happy, he looked satisfied. A smug smirk tugged at Dean's lips.

Dean was convinced that John was going to fix everything. He thought that his father would be able to fix this. Once all of this was over, Sam would stay. Everything would work out. If only Dean didn't put so much blind trust into his father. Maybe then he would have realized what would actually happen.

"No sir."

Sam knew that his father wouldn't be satisfied with this response. No, the older man would be pissed off. Nothing Sam said would make it right. No matter what he did his father would still probably lose his shit. This was going to be an argument from Hell.

"Don't you fucking lie to me!" John growled. He pulled something out of his pocket, a letter. Not just any letter though. The letter. Sam's acceptance letter for Stanford.

"How-" Sam didn't get to finish his sentence.

"You applied for Stanford," John said. It was a statement, not a question. The evidence was quite literally being gripped in John's hand.

Sam's nerves coiled in his gut, ready to explode. He could feel his heart hammering in his chest. This argument was the very thing that Sam had wanted to avoid at all costs. He wasn't quite sure how he had planned to avoid it though. Telling John might have made it better rather than the older man figuring it out, or being told by someone else.

"I'm going," Sam blurted, standing up a little straighter. He wouldn't keep letting his father walk all over him. He would go to Stanford. After everything he had sacrificed for other people, he would do this for himself. Hunting could wait a few years.

"I just want to-" For the second time that night, John cut Sam off.

"Like hell you are! I won't let you abandon this family," John snapped as he stood. He slammed the letter down onto the table. He couldn't believe the way Sam was speaking. "Would you really do that? Would you really abandon your brother and I?"

"No. Dad listen, I am going to Stanford!" Sam shouted back at John. He wasn't abandoning Dean or his father. No, he was just trying to go to college.

"It's that damn whore," John sneered. It didn't matter that he was talking about his friends daughter, he was also talking about the girl who he thought had been a bad influence on Sam. "She's been putting all of these ideas into your head. She-"

It was Sam's turn to cut John off. Hearing his father talk about her that way made Sam's blood boil. He took a steadying breath. Just yelling at his father wouldn't do any good. He needed to be somewhat logical. Though, he struggled to think of anything decent to say after what he had heard his father call her.

Dean was watching everything go down. Now that he'd seen how this argument was going he might have a few regrets. He'd seen Sam and his father argue, a lot. It had never been this bad though. Hearing what his father had to say about her though, that made Dean regret everything. Being around her was the happiest Dean had ever seen his brother. He couldn't believe that his father would insult her like that. She wasn't a bad influence on Sam, not in the slightest.

"Don't call her that," Sam said through a clenched jaw. "She has done nothing wrong! It was my idea to apply for Stanford. I am not abandoning this family! I'm going to college!"

"Don't you fucking come back! If you aren't going to do the job, and be apart of this family, don't you ever come back," John snarled.

Sam's expression changed in an instant. He felt his chest tighten, panic spreading throughout his body. He knew by looking at johns face that his father wasn't kidding.

Sam grabbed his jacket, the letter from Stanford, and his laptop case before walking out the door. He had a lump in his throat as he walked down the row of motel room doors. Looking around the parking lot, he was thankful that it was empty.

"Sammy! Wait!" Dean yelled, running out of the motel room door after his younger brother. He was panicking at this point. Things weren't supposed to end like this. He couldn't believe that Sam would leave like this.

"Don't call me that," Sam snapped at his brother, not bothering to turn around. "Leave me the hell alone Dean."

The older Winchester brother stopped in his tracks. He had fucked up, everything had went wrong. It was too late now. Sam had clearly made up his mind. There was nothing Dean would be able to do to stop his brother.

Sam walked. And he just kept walking. His jacket protected him from the ice cold gushes of wind blowing. He walked towards the only place he had left to go; her house. She was his escape. He needed her, right now especially.

The disgusting words that John had spoke of her made Sam's blood boil. He walked faster. He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jacket, hiding them away from the brisk cold.

She was the best part of his day. Hearing his father call her that, and the way the older man talked about her made him sick. She deserved so much better. She didn't do anything wrong. No, the opposite. She made everything better.

The thought of her smile was only able to hinder the tears building up for so long. Sam only walked faster. His long, gangly legs could only carry him so fast though.

The walk to her house didn't take long. Sam practically ran. His eyes had long ago welled up with tears, he sniffled as he finally spotted her house. He walked up to the front porch and hesitated. It was late. What if her parents answered instead of her?

He didn't knock on the door. Instead, he sent her a quick text asking if she could open the front door for him. He prayed to anything out there that might listen to him that she was still awake. He wouldn't risk her parents coming to the door, even if he knew that they wouldn't be upset.

His tear stained cheeks glimmered in the moonlight. He wiped at his cheeks with the sleeve of his jacket, trying to hide some of the tears from view. However, he knew that the second she opened the door that she would know. It would be impossible for her not too.

She could take one look at Sam and read him like a god-damn book. It was nice to be understood like that. Dean and his father had never actually listened to him about anything. He felt like an outsider. He don't feel anywhere near like that around her.

His train of thought was interrupted as he heard the click of a deadbolt sliding open. The front door creaked open. Standing in the doorway, there she was. Her pajama pants hung low on her hips, exposing a small section of her waist before her tank top covered the rest of her skin up. She looked tired as hell, yet she still gave Sam a gentle smile.

She stepped aside wordlessly, letting Sam into the house. Her eye brows drew together in concern as she noticed his tear stained cheeks. As Sam stepped inside, she quickly (and quietly) shut the door. The dead bolt snapped into place.

As she turned around she noticed that Sam had already began walking to her bedroom. Her house was more like a home to Sam than any other place. He did spend a lot of time here. Not that her parents minded.

Her parents loved Sam. They had always welcomed him in with open arms. And, they ignored all of the times they caught Sam sleeping over. They just appreciated that their daughter was spending time with someone her age. Having such a an odd lifestyle made it difficult to maintain friendships.

Whenever she walked into her bedroom, Sam was already sitting on her bed. His head was titled downwards, his eyes seemed to be locked on her rug. She noticed that he had discarded his shoes and jacket already. His jacket hung on the back of her desk chair, and his shoes sat in the corner of her room.

She sat next to Sam and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He shuddered beneath her touch. More tears burned at his eyes and he fought to keep the emotion out of his voice as he spoke

"H-he found out," Sam whispered in a fragile voice. With anyone else he would have cringed at how vulnerable he sounded. He sniffled again, trying to prevent the tears from pouring down his cheeks again.

Her heart dropped. She was suddenly wide awake. That was the worst possible thing that could happen. She still remembered how excited Sam had been to show her his acceptance letter. All of that excitement had been ruined by John.

"Oh my God. . . Sam-"

"I'm still going to S-Stanford," He looked up at her as a few tears finally escaped down his cheeks. "My dad. . . my dad told me not to come back."

She didn't hesitate before pulling him into a tight hug. It was awkward since they were both sitting down but she didn't care in the slightest. Sam broke down in her arms. Hot tears poured down his cheeks.

"It's going to be okay, you're going to be okay." Her voice was gentle, the polar opposite to how his father had spoken to him earlier.

It was moments like this that made Sam realize how lucky he was to have her. He wouldn't know what to do without her. Especially tonight. His heart has been brutally ripped apart by his father, now she would work on helping him pick up the pieces.

They were always there for each other. It was something that could be so very simple that most people didn't notice it. The way that Sam would subconsciously reach for her anytime things went South, the way she always seemed to find her way into Sam's arm after a case or fight with her parents, the way she always made sure Sam had somewhere to go.

And yet, the two had stuck with the title of best friends. Neither one of them wanted to change it much, not yet anyway. There might have been occasional thoughts that definitely weren't the kind you thought about friends though.

Her warm touch brought Sam back to the present moment. It reminded him that things didn't have to be so bad. He might have lost his father, and maybe even Dean too, but he still had her.

"You can stay here until you leave for Stanford."

Sam' head jerked up. That was months away. He had planned to- he actually didn't know what he had planned to do. He would have figured something out though. No matter how hard it was.

Sam cleared his throat, "No, I can't ask your parents to do that."

"Too bad," She retorted. "You live with us until you leave for Stanford." Her voice was firm and left no room for argument.

Her parents would understand. They always did. Even if her father and John were friends, she knew that her mother would be able to persuade her father into letting Sam stay with them. Her mother was good at doing that. Nobody could say no to that woman.

"Thank you," Sam whispered. He then rubbed his eyes, wiping away the tear streaks. It would never make sense to Sam. He couldn't believe that she cared about him this much. He was a black sheep with his family. He was the one who caused problems and didn't belong. He didn't feel that way here. He felt just as much apart of the family as she actually was.

The two fell into a comfortable silence. She kept her arms wrapped around Sam. He felt like her arms were the only thing holding him together. His own father had just kicked him out! Sam couldn't believe that Dean had shown the letter. It hurt.

None of that mattered right now. He couldn't go back in time to fix things. He had to live with everything that had just happened. He had to figure it out.

Maybe things wouldn't be so bad. He could get through anything with her by his side.

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A/N: The biggest thanks to @tranquilitybasegrunge and @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles for beta reading parts of this for me!

Tag List: @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @aidansloth @jaredpadonlyyyy @zeppette @moonl1ghtsworld @tranquilitybasegrunge

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[gilverrwrites]

Heyy I was wondering if you could do a friends to lovers with Gabriel if you do write for him (if not just ignore this haha) I don’t really have any specific requests other than the friends to lovers haha :)

Aware Of Your Stare

AN: I do, I do! Hope this is the kinda thing you had in mind 💛

Pairing: Gabriel/GN!Reader

Words: 2K

Content: Friends to lovers, grumpy/sunshine, kissing, petnames, (mild) arguing, but mainly fluff.

Please remember: Your feelings are valid.

Ko-Fi || Masterlist || Request Info

You’re woken by the feel of something soft tickling the tip of your nose. You lean away and glare up through half-lidded eyes at the perpetrator. Gabriel, who is lounging beside you in nothing but his vest and boxers. Angels typically don't sleep, so they often find themselves trying to kill time. When there isn't an imminent threat or apocalypse on the horizon anyway.

Castiel patrols the bunker like a guard dog, watching its residents (mainly Dean) sleep. Michael lets Adam sleep to give him that sense of human normality. You weren’t really sure how that worked, but you assumed he found some kind of respite in it.

Gabe, however, despite being able to go anywhere and conjure anything with anyone, liked to set up shop for the night in your room, where he would binge-watch TV and get pastry crumbs all over your comforter.

“Quit it.” You mutter before shutting your eyes again and nuzzling back into your pillow.

“You quit is.” He responds, following your nose with his finger. “You’re too loud. Nick is trying to cheer up Jess after she broke up with her boyfriend at the holiday party, and you’re snoring right over it.”

“Ugh.” You reach up to bat his hand away, and he briefly retreats. With your eyes closed, you don’t realise he’s simply relocating his attack before it’s too late.

You kick and flail at him desperately, crying out for him to stop, but it’s no use, damn his archangel strength. You’re at his mercy until he lets you go. When he eventually subsides, you shove him away, and he plays along, rolling back to his side of the bed. “You’re the worst.”

“Nah, you love me really, sugar.” He replies, opening his arms wide and grinning at you.

You feign a glare before following his lead and crawling into his arms. With the snap of his fingers, he rewinds the TV, and you slowly fall back asleep under the gentle feel of him stroking your back.

“Hey, I don’t care what or who you do in the privacy of your own room, but could you keep it down? A man needs his sleep.”

You blink at Dean over your morning coffee. The caffeine must not have kicked in yet because there is no way he just said what he said. “What?”

“Don’t make me say it.” He shrugs at you, exasperated, as he pours his own coffee.

“Say what?” You push, irritated by the implication.

“You and Gabriel. You know….”

“No! I don’t know!” You stand from the breakfast table, too charged to sit still but too engaged to leave. “Nothing is going on between me and Gabriel. We’re just friends.”

The expression on Dean's face shows that he doesn’t believe a word out of your mouth. “The way you two look at each other. Nah, there’s nothing “friendly” about it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You rack your brain, trying to recall how you look at him and how he looks at you, but fail to find anything not ‘friendly’ about it. Sure, he was handsome, fun, and easy to be around, but that doesn’t mean anything. “How do we—I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The sound of wings fluttering makes you jump. Gabriel now sits opposite your spot at the table, and you can’t help but look at him now to examine his honey-tinted hazel eyes; they were beautiful. But they weren’t looking at you differently than you’d expect. Shit, were you looking at him funny? Like you wanted him?

Your skin tingled with embarrassment, and you forced yourself to sit back down and look away from him.

“Friends?” Dean wiggles his brows at you as he swiftly exits. Dropping a spanner in your brain's inner workings and exiting stage left. Asshole.

“What was that about?” Gabriel asks as he leans over to take your coffee. He sips, scrunches his lips, and proceeds to add an unholy amount of sugar. Old habits die hard. When you spend too long contemplating he nudges at you. “Hey, what’s up, hon?”

Hon. You’d never batted an eyelid at that or any other pet name he’d given you since becoming friends. So why was it making you feel funny now?

“Nothing.” You assure him as you stand once again and begin heading to the door. “I gotta go, I’ve got… stuff to do.”

“You want some company?” He swings around on the bench, ready to follow.

“No! No, thank you.” You shake your head as you leave without another word.

You didn’t see him again for a while, having taken off to hunt a pack of werewolves a few states over. You couldn’t deny that Dean had shaken something inside you. The fact that your instinctive response was to protest so adamantly was your first clue. The distance had given you time to clear your head. Enjoying someone’s presence and appearance didn’t mean you had to pursue anything more. He is your friend, and that’s all you need. You weren’t going to mess with the balance.

That’s what you told yourself as you entered your room to find Gabe inside. He’d clearly been making use of the space while you were gone. The trashcan was overflowing with empty candy wrappers, the bed was unmade, and a puddle of something fruity smelling seeped out from under your bedside table. One would think he didn’t have the power to clean all that up in a second. You might have complained, had you not also noticed that your laundry basket was empty, and your desk had been organised precisely the way you liked it. Priorities.

“You’re back!” He smiled as he crossed the room and engulfed you in a hug. He smelled warm and inviting, like mocha and malted sugar. Had he always smelled so good? You wondered as you melted into him. So engulfed, you almost missed the subtle way he sniffed in your own scent. You couldn’t help but hope he liked it. You’re not sure how long you stayed like that before Gabriel broke the silence. “Come on, get ready. The circus is in town.”

“The circus? Really?” You groaned as he released you. “I’m tired, I just want to chill.”

“You can chill later. We'll have a good time, I promise.”

“Why do you even want to go?” You ask as you dump your travel bag on the floor and dramatically collapse onto your bed. Trying to emphasise your tiredness.

“Why don’t you?” Gabriel approaches, standing over you and looking down at you sternly.

“Ummm, the crowds,” you lift your arm into the air, lining your hand up with his face as you count the reasons with your fingers: “the loud noises, the clowns…”

“I’ve seen your dating history.” Gabe bats your hand down before pointing an accusatory finger at you. “You love clowns.”

Usually, you would have laughed. That was a classic comeback, but he would almost certainly take your laughter as a victory, so you force a straight face and push back any creeping notions that maybe he was jealous of your exes.

“How long have you been on earth?” You ask him, readying your next argument. He shrugs, and you can sense his amused interest in where you’re going with this. “You could go to any circus, anytime, anywhere. Who gives a shit about some two-bit, washed-up roadside circus?”

You wonder briefly if you might subconsciously be comparing yourself to the circus. He’s an angel, after all, an archangel. Of all the beings on earth, why does he choose to spend so much time with you? Again, you shut down the thought process before it gets away from you.

Gabriel is looking down at you, brows furrowed. Instead of answering your question, he crosses his arms and asks, “Jeez honey, what bit you in the ass?”

“A werewolf.” You reply deadpan.

“Seriously?” He tilts his head, and you notice how his eyes wander down your body. He can’t see your ass from his position, but you’re pretty sure he’s trying. The thought makes you feel flushed.

“No.” Playfully, you kick your leg at him until he gives way, allowing you space to stand and face him. “Okay, fine, but you’re paying.”

As you watch the trapeze artists flying across the tent, you admit to yourself that you were, in fact, having a good time. The acts were good, the clowns weren’t that scary, and the atmosphere was lively. Everything smelt like popcorn, and the stands weren’t as sticky as you’d feared.

You glance over at Gabriel, who is on his third cotton candy cone (you are totally not jealous of his metabolism). You could never confess to having a good time; he’d never let it go. Besides, if the smug side-eye he's giving you is any indication, he already knew.

“Want some?” He offers you the cotton candy, and you can’t stop from grinning as you lean over. Your fingers brush against his as you steady the cone to take a piece, and your cheeks start to warm up. 

The candy is sweet on your tongue, and you let your smile grow to show your approval. Gabe laughs in response. You begin to shift back to your seat, but you’re stopped by the feel of his warm hand on your lower back, tenderly holding you close to him as he quietly speaks. “You have got to stop looking at me like that.”

Your eyes widen, and you must look like a deer in the headlights because he’s laughing again. Laughing at you, is he teasing you.

“Looking at you like what?” Your voice is quiet, nothing like it had been when Dean accused you of the same thing. 

“Like…” He tilts his head back briefly, searching for the correct words. “Like you want me, in the biblical sense.”

If your eyes weren’t about to pop out before, they were now.

“Tell me I’m wrong.” He continues, now tilting his head forward until his face is almost pressed to yours. He’s been this close before, closer, in fact, so why was your breath hitching now? “Tell me to stop, and we’ll forget this ever happened.”

Maybe you should have slowed to think about it, although your answer likely would have been the same. You answer quickly, instinctively. “Don’t stop.”

Clowns and acrobats forgotten, you initiate the kiss before you talk yourself out of it. His lips are soft and sickeningly sweet, his stubble itches at your skin, but you immediately want more.

Sensing your neediness, Gabriel pulls your body closer and deepens the kiss. You’re about to open your mouth, to try for more access, but the sound of someone deliberately coughing distracts you both.

Your heads turn simultaneously to see a rather unimpressed mother glaring at you, and you both laugh in response.

“Wanna get out of here?” He quirks his head to the exit, and you nod. He holds your hand and follows close behind as you lead the way, down the stalls, outside the tent. As soon as you’re free from prying eyes he flies you back home. The perks of having an angel best friend, a boyfriend, a lover, a something who still has their wings. It only takes a second, but it still gives you a brief stint of motion sickness. When you’re steady on your feet again, you look over to Gabriel, suddenly feeling shy and unsure how to proceed.

He’s smiling at you, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. It’s a smile entirely for your benefit. “If you’ve changed your mind, we don’t have to do anything.”

“No. No, I haven’t.” You assure him, reaching out and gently holding onto his upper arm as you step closer until you’re chest to chest. “I want this. I guess I just didn’t realise until... very recently.”

“Yeah.” The cheery glint in his eye returns. “I want you too.”

You initiate the kiss again, enjoying the now familiar sugariness of his mouth. This time he deepens the kiss without disruption, then your tongue brushes against his for the first time he lets out an involuntary moan that makes your brain go fuzzy. 

When you pull away to breathe, you watch his expression. Clearly aware of your stare, he darts his eyes over to the bed, then back at you, and gives his brows a suggestive wiggle. “Shall we?”

[shy-taylorsversion]

Lie To Girls - Dean Winchester x Reader

summary- y/n always knew dean winchester would be the death of her.

warnings- language, violence, hurt, and absolutely zero comfort. this is very very not happy and extremely sad, that's all I'm saying.

a/n- inspired by this song by the wonderful sabrina carpenter i was listening to short n sweet and i couldn't not write this when i heard lie to girls. i apolgize in advance. (not beta read either, oops)

Dean Winchester was a good liar, a professional one at that. He could get anyone to believe anything if he just talked for long enough and flashed that smile.

But since the beginning, he’d never needed to lie to her.

Her life had gone to shit in a matter of a few days. Her best friend was found dead, ruled a robbery-homicide but it never made sense.

Nothing was stolen, then he’d shown up. Claiming to be her best friend’s cousin but she’d seen right through it. It wasn’t long before she’d pieced it together on her own, monsters were real and he hunted them.

He didn’t seem to realize that she liked him enough that he didn’t have to pretend with her, she’d just do it for him.

It never stopped him though, spouting one excuse after another. Swearing he’d see her soon and call even sooner. He’d promise he’d only had one drink that night, that he’d left alone and was just thinking about her. Guilt crept in and he’d text her, talking like old friends.

When he’d go weeks without calling, he’d apologize and say it wouldn’t happen again, an isolated incident. He’d show up at her apartment after months of silence with some vague story, she learned to not ask.

She’d take his excuses at face value, accept his apologies like she hadn’t already. She forgave him every time walked out the door. He didn’t have to lie to her. She’d rationalized his indiscretions before he’d committed the act. Knowing what he was doing but letting him anyway.

She’d cry at the door of her apartment as she watched him drive away, telling herself that he’d be back to stay one day. Every time he’d come back, all smiles and laughs at her door. She’d call the ache in her chest for butterflies but it was more like cardiac arrest.

It was all lies she’d made up in her head, delusional fantasies of a shitshow she’d turned into forever.

– – –

Years later he was still everywhere she went. She’d been acting like a stupid girl so hung up on a man who didn’t care but she didn’t how to stop. All she ever did was wonder where he was, what he was doing, or if she ever crossed his mind.

There was a cavern in her chest when an old rock song was playing or when a brown leather jacket caught her eye, he was top of her mind at all times. For Christ’s sake, she’d looked at a fork one night and thought of the first time they’d gone out to a diner. Forks are fucking everywhere, they don’t belong to Dean Winchester.

She reminded herself of her mother and how she ignored the nights her dad didn’t come home or of her sisters who spent countless nights crying over facts they’d sworn were incorrect. The girl outside the strip club, makeup smeared as tears ran down her face and tarot cards clutched to her chest.

All the women she’d ever known were clever enough to see through their lies but stupid enough to let them get away with it.

---

From the first grin, all green eyes, and flirty remarks, he’d been shameless and she’d caught herself laughing, enjoying life in the middle of a living hell

She’d known in that moment, Dean Winchester would be the death of her. She hadn’t realized how true the sentiment would be.

It hadn’t hit her what was happening until the woman had thrown her against the wall. Someone had screamed her name. She’d caught a glimpse of black eyes before blacking out.

The world was hazy when she woke up, her head was light and the room spinning. Something hot and wet was running down her stomach, she shifted to try to check but she was held back.

A hand found her shoulder, pushing her back down. They were saying something to her but her ears were ringing. She dragged her gaze up, blurry. Every movement left her exhausted like she’d run a mile. Green eyes met hers and she couldn’t breathe. He was back and he was here, with her. A sluggish smile spread across her face when his hand found her cheek, warm and rough. She let her eyes close for a second before she was shaken, just slightly.

“No, No, No, Sweetheart. Eyes open, eyes on me.” Dean’s voice was muffled and rushed but she peeled her eyes back open, mumbling about being sleepy. He nodded and said something she couldn’t hear.

Her eyes fell to slits, she tried to keep the open but everything was so heavy. A bone-deep chill was running through her now, all she wanted to do was curl into him and sleep. She could see his face still, his expression was all wrong though.

There wasn’t any boyish smirk or teasing grin. He was frantic, eyes wide and mouth still moving.

She understood when a smear of red down his wrist caught her attention when his other hand found her face, wet and sticky like her shirt.

She was dying and Dean Winchester was scared.

It explained the way she felt nothing, other than cold and tired. Bloodloss would do that, she couldn’t remember where she’d learned that from. It was probably him.

“You’re gonna be fine, ok?” His words were panic, running over the top of others. “Cas, he’ll be here soon-”

She cut him off, dragging hang up to his face. Her hand was covered in blood like everything else seemed to be. He covered his hand with hers and leaned into it.

“You’re gonna be ok. You’re fine. You have to be fine.” He was still rambling, she let her thumb run over his lips and he stopped.

She knew by the glint in his eye that she wasn’t making it out. But he was here, holding her and telling her she’d be okay so she did what she’d always done for him.

“I believe you.” It came out like a whisper, not having enough strength for more. Warm streams of tears fell from her eyes, she didn’t know when that started. He shook his head. She wiped his own tears away and smiled. "it’s ok I believe you. I’m gonna be ok.”

Her vision was vignette now, corners fading into black and all she could still make out was him. He was a hazy shadow, clutching onto her. Her hand had fallen from him, at least she thought.

The white-hot cold had consumed her. She was limp in his arms, suspended into nothingness.

The world was filled with green eyes.

Then nothing.

[moon-lit-petal]

Believe Me

Neville Longbottom x Fem!Beauxbatons!Reader

Summary: 5 times Dean and Seamus don't believe Neville and the time He proved them wrong.

Warning: not proof read, possibly not so nice friends, Neville being totally in love.

Word Count: 5k

Notes: this takes place when they are much older, I'd like to think that moldy V doesn't exist and the triwizard tournament happens much later in their hogwarts career :) I tried to keep it as ambiguous

----------

The Gryffindor common room was a cozy haven, illuminated by the flickering flames of the fireplace that cast warm shadows on the maroon and gold walls. A rowdy bunch of Gryffindors lounged comfortably on the oversized sofas, laughter and chatter filling the air as they reminisced about their latest escapades at Hogwarts.

"Honestly," Ron said, a frown spreading across his face, "I don’t know what’s worse—having a crush or trying to figure out what to say when you actually talk to them!"

Harry chuckled, shaking his head. "Tell me about it. I thought I was doing well with Cho until I accidentally called her 'Hermione' in the middle of a conversation!"

Hermione rolled her eyes, a playful smirk on her lips. "That’s not going to help your case, Harry."

The boys erupted into laughter, the sound bouncing off the stone walls. Dean leaned back, his arms behind his head, a hint of frustration in his voice. "I can’t even get a proper conversation going. It’s like every time I try to flirt, I end up sounding like a complete idiot."

Seamus snickered. "Remember when you tried to impress that girl from Slytherin with your 'amazing' Quidditch skills? You barely made it through the first sentence!"

"That was one time!" Dean retorted, though he couldn’t suppress a sheepish grin.

Just then, Neville spoke up with hesitant confidence.

"I mean, dating isn't that hard when you're with the right person."

The room fell silent, a few eyebrows raised in curiosity. Ron snorted, breaking the stillness. "No offense, Neville, but what do you know about dating? You've never had a girlfriend before, right?"

With a half-hearted shrug and a giddy smile, he looks at his friends. “Well actually, I've been dating this girl for a little while now.”

"Wait, who is she?" Harry asked, genuinely curious.

"She’s from Beauxbatons!" Neville said, his voice gaining confidence. "Her name is Y/N. She’s really nice, we met over the summer when she was visiting some family”"

Seamus squinted skeptically. "A Beauxbatons girl? Come on, Neville, that sounds a bit too good to be true."

Hermione frowned, clearly disapproving of the boys’ reactions. "Guys, come on you shouldn't just dismiss him, I'm sure she's a nice girl Neville." She gave him a small smile, Neville could tell she too, didn't believe him

Ginny crossed her arms and chimed in. "Exactly. Just because you lot can’t seem to get dates doesn’t mean you should tear him down."

Ron raised his hands in mock surrender. "I’m not tearing him down! I’m just saying it’s hard to believe. Neville and a girl from Beauxbatons?"

Neville’s face turned a shade of crimson. "I’m serious! We’ve been writing to each other, and she even sent me a few drawings, she does portraits and sent one shed done of herself"

Laughter erupted around the room, the sound mingling with Neville’s embarrassed smile.

Hermione’s expression softened. "That sounds just lovely Neville. Maybe you could show us next time?"

Neville blushed even deeper. "I’m planning to! Well, I was… but they fell in the black lake the other day and got ruined..”

Seamus grinned. "Well, that's just a bloody shame, isn't it?”

"I swear! I'm not lying!!" Neville replied, sounding both desperate for someone to believe him and annoyed they would think he'd lie about something like this, to begin with.

Ginny smirked. "It's ok Neville, we believe you really."

The boys continued their good-natured teasing, but Hermione and Ginny shot them looks that conveyed they should ease off. Gradually, the teasing softened, and Hermione quickly sought to change the subject.

"So, what about that new potion Professor Snape was on about?" she suggested, her smile brightening, and at the mention of Professor Snape everyone groaned out a whine.

The conversation shifted effortlessly as they delved into tales of misadventures in Potions class, leaving the topic of girlfriends behind, at least for the moment. Laughter filled the room once more, but Neville couldn’t help but shake his head at his friends. He knows they mean well, and as long as he knows he's telling the truth, then they'd eat their words eventually

----------

The greenhouses were buzzing with the sound of shovels scraping soil and the occasional screech from a particularly unruly Mandrake. Neville Longbottom, expertly handling a Venomous Tentacula with gloved hands, chatted absently with Ron as they worked together.

“I was talking to Y/N the other day,” Neville said, his tone casual as he patted down the soil around the plant. “She gave me some really good advice on how to deal with these sorts of plants. Apparently, they grow some massive ones in the Beauxbatons greenhouses.”

Ron looked up from his struggle with his own plant. “Oh yeah? Beauxbatons, right?”

Neville nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, she said they have this whole section dedicated to magical flora that we don’t even study here. She told me about this method they use to calm them down, so they don’t snap at you when you get close.”

Hermione overheard and looked over, curiosity piqued. “Really? I’d love to read up on that. Beauxbatons must have a fantastic Herbology program. Did she mention any specific techniques?”

Neville smiled. “Yeah, something about using lavender essence mixed with dragon dung fertilizer. It keeps them relaxed but still healthy. I’m thinking about trying it on one of the plants here.”

Ron gave him a sideways glance, his expression caught between amusement and doubt. “You’ve got an answer for everything these days, don’t you, Neville? Y/N’s always helping you out, eh?”

“Well, she knows a lot about Herbology,” Neville said earnestly. “We talk about plants all the time.”

Harry, busy with his own re-potting, chuckled softly. “Sounds like you two have a lot in common, Neville. It’s nice to have someone who shares your interests.”

Hermione nodded in agreement. “Exactly. And Beauxbatons is known for their magical plants, so it’s not surprising she’d know a lot. What else has she taught you?”

Before Neville could respond, Seamus, who was struggling with his own plant a few tables away, joined the conversation. “Wait a minute, are we still talking about the mysterious Beauxbatons girlfriend? You’ve got to admit, Neville, it sounds a bit too good to be true. A French girl who’s an expert in magical plants? What are the odds?”

Dean snorted in amusement. “Yeah, Neville, no offense, but you talk about her like she’s perfect. She’s beautiful, smart, loves Herbology… I’m starting to think you’ve been reading too many romance novels.”

Neville flushed, but he shook his head. “No, it’s not like that. She’s real, I promise. She just… understands me. We have a lot in common.”

Ron patted Neville on the back, grinning. “We believe you, mate. It’s just hard to imagine someone who’s basically a Herbology goddess and happens to be your girlfriend. We’ll believe it when we see her.”

Harry, who had been silent for most of the exchange, gave Neville an encouraging smile. “Well, I’m sure she’s real, Neville. It’d be great to meet her one day.”

Seamus, however, couldn’t resist another quip. “Maybe she’ll show up with a rare magical plant to prove it, eh?”

Neville forced a smile but didn’t push the subject further. He knew they didn’t mean to be harsh, but it was clear that, despite their friendly tones, his friends still had their doubts about Y/N. He returned to his work, focusing on the plants.

----------

It was a typical morning in the Great Hall, sunlight streaming through the tall enchanted windows, casting golden beams across the long tables filled with Hogwarts students enjoying their breakfast. The scent of fresh bread, eggs, and pumpkin juice filled the air. Chatter echoed from all sides, students murmuring about Quidditch matches, homework assignments, and weekend plans.

Neville sat at the Gryffindor table, absently pushing his scrambled eggs around his plate. His thoughts were far from breakfast. He had been waiting for weeks now—hoping for a letter or, even better, a package from Y/N.. Their relationship had been going strong, though the distance often made it difficult. But lately, he'd mentioned her so many times that his friends had begun to give him knowing looks, and their teasing, though lighthearted, always made him feel a little self-conscious.

“Oi, Neville! You alright, mate?” Seamus Finnigan asked, nudging him gently. “You’ve been staring at those eggs for ten minutes. Something on your mind?”

Neville smiled faintly, trying to shake off his nervous anticipation. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just… waiting for the post.”

At that moment, as if on cue, the familiar sound of wings fluttering through the air filled the hall. Dozens of owls soared through the enchanted ceiling, delivering letters and parcels to their waiting owners. Neville’s heart raced as he scanned the sea of wings, hoping to see something special. And then he saw it—a stunning, silvery owl with long, elegant wings gliding toward him, catching the light as it flew. It was unlike any owl he’d ever seen at Hogwarts.

The owl swooped down gracefully, landing right in front of Neville with a soft hoot. In its talons was a thick package wrapped in delicate lavender-colored paper, sealed with the distinctive wax crest of Beauxbatons. Neville’s eyes widened in surprise, and for a moment, he just stared at the package in his lap, hardly believing it.

“Blimey, Neville,” Ron said from across the table, his eyebrows raised. “That’s a fancy delivery.”

“Is that… from your girlfriend?” Hermione asked, looking at the package curiously.

Neville nodded, trying not to look too pleased. “Yeah, it’s from Y/N.”

His friends exchanged glances, but there wasn’t any teasing, just mild surprise. Neville had spoken about Y/N often, but she seemed almost like a mythical figure to them—this beautiful, mysterious girl from France whom none of them had ever met.

“That’s some owl she’s got,” Dean commented, leaning over to get a better look at the package. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen one like that.”

Neville nodded again, feeling a bit self-conscious under their gazes. “She mentioned it once. Said it’s a rare breed from France. She’s… pretty proud of it.”

Seamus grinned. “Well, go on then, mate. Open it! Let’s see what she’s sent you.”

Neville hesitated for a moment, feeling all eyes on him. He knew they weren’t trying to be skeptical or mean, but he could sense the curiosity behind their words. His friends had never outright doubted him, but it was clear that after months of hearing about Y/N and not seeing any proof, they were a bit… unsure. Still, there was no mockery in their faces—just genuine interest.

With a deep breath, Neville carefully broke the wax seal and unwrapped the package. Inside was a beautifully embroidered scarf in the deep blue and silver colors of Beauxbatons, along with a folded letter. The scarf was soft, clearly handmade, and it smelled faintly of lavender.

“Wow,” Hermione said, leaning in closer. “That’s lovely, Neville. She made this for you?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Neville said quietly, running his fingers over the delicate stitches. “She’s been learning how to embroider. I, um… mentioned I needed a new scarf for winter, and I guess she remembered.”

Ron nodded appreciatively. “That’s impressive. Not many people make things like this anymore.”

Harry smiled from beside him. “Looks like she really cares about you, Neville.”

Neville smiled, feeling a warmth spread through him that had nothing to do with the scarf. It felt good to hear that—not just because it was true, but because it seemed like, for once, his friends weren’t doubting him.

But then Seamus, ever the joker, raised an eyebrow and smirked. “You’ve got to admit, though, Neville—it’s almost too perfect. A hand-embroidered scarf? From a Beauxbatons girl who sends you packages by a rare French owl? It’s like something out of a storybook.”

Neville laughed, shaking his head. “I know it sounds a bit… unbelievable, but I swear it’s true. She’s real.”

Dean, who had been eyeing the letter, grinned. “Well, if she keeps sending you things like this, we’ll start believing in miracles.”

Hermione shot Dean a disapproving look, but Neville chuckled along with the others. It wasn’t mean-spirited—they were just having fun. He didn’t mind the light teasing, especially now that he had proof to show them. And even if they found it hard to believe, they weren’t questioning him outright, just amused at the unlikely situation.

“That’ll be the day,” Ron said with a grin, though he quickly added, “But hey, She sounds great.”

Neville folded the scarf carefully and slipped it into his bag, feeling a little lighter. “She is.”

As the conversation shifted back to Quidditch and schoolwork, Neville glanced down at the unopened letter in his hands. He could read it later, in private. For now, he felt content knowing that, whether his friends believed him or not, Y/N was real—and she cared about him enough to send something as special as this.

Even if they still found it hard to imagine, that was enough for Neville. And maybe, just maybe, one day soon, his friends would get to meet her and see for themselves that she wasn’t just a figment of his imagination. But until then, he’d hold on to the scarf, the letter, and the quiet certainty that she was thinking of him as much as he was thinking of her.

----------

The Gryffindor common room was quieter than usual, the usual hustle and bustle replaced with a mellow atmosphere as the school year drew to a close. Most of the students had already packed their things, their trunks neatly stacked and waiting by the fireplace. The chairs around the room were occupied by groups of friends chatting, playing games, or simply lounging around, savoring the last few moments before heading home for the summer.

Neville sat with Seamus, Dean, and a couple of other Gryffindors near the windows, gazing out at the grounds. The late afternoon sunlight filtered through the windows, casting a warm glow on the stone walls.

“I can't believe the year’s over already,” Dean said, leaning back in his chair. “Feels like we were just getting back from Christmas break.”

“Yeah, crazy,” Seamus agreed, his tone relaxed. “But I’m not going to miss the essays.”

Neville, absently fiddling with his wand, smiled. “I was telling Y/N about how busy it’s been. She’s had a lot going on too. The end of the year at Beauxbatons is apparently just as hectic as here.”

Seamus shot him a quick glance, his expression neutral, though Dean exchanged a brief look with him. “Y/N, huh?” Seamus said, not missing a beat. “Sounds like she’s got it rough over there.”

Neville nodded, completely unaware of Seamus’s inner skepticism. “Yeah, she’s been swamped. But we’re planning to meet up over the summer. She might even come to England for a bit.”

“That’s great, mate,” Dean chimed in, his voice casual though he raised his eyebrows slightly.

Neville stood up suddenly as if remembering something important. “Oh no! I forgot to pack my Astrronomy textbooks. I’ll be right back.”

With that, he hurried off to his dorm room, leaving the rest of them sitting there. The moment Neville was out of earshot, Seamus turned to the others with an exaggerated sigh.

“Alright,” Seamus said, leaning forward. “I like Neville, you all know that, but I’m telling you, there is no way Y/N exists.”

Dean grinned, leaning in as well. “You’re still stuck on that?”

Seamus shrugged, but the look on his face said he was convinced. “Come on, Dean. You’ve heard him talk about her for months—perfect French girlfriend from Beauxbatons who just happens to love magical plants as much as he does? I mean, sure, it could be true, but she’s never sent a picture, she’s never visited Hogwarts, and the only proof we’ve got are a few letters that could be from anyone.”

One of the younger Gryffindors, who had been listening in, piped up. “So, you think Neville’s lying? He doesn’t seem like the type to make something like that up.”

Seamus shook his head quickly. “No, I don’t think he’s lying, not really. I think he believes it. But I’m just saying—it sounds like he’s being catfished. It’s not like he’s met her in person since they started writing. For all we know, it could be some bloke from Durmstrang having a laugh.”

Dean chuckled. “You reckon someone’s really going that far to mess with Neville? That’s pretty dedicated.”

Seamus leaned back, his arms crossed. “Look, I’m not trying to be mean. I just don’t think she’s real. Or if she is, maybe she’s not exactly what Neville thinks. It’s just a bit… convenient, isn’t it? All these grand stories, but no one’s ever seen her.”

One of the girls nearby, who had been half-listening, frowned. “But Neville doesn’t seem like he’s making it up. He talks about her like she’s the real deal.”

“I know, that’s what makes me feel bad about doubting him,” Seamus admitted. “But you’ve got to admit it’s a bit suspicious. Every time she’s supposed to visit, something comes up. She’s ‘too busy,’ or ‘there’s something going on at Beauxbatons.’ It’s been almost a year and still no sign of her.”

Dean raised a hand to stop Seamus. “Alright, alright. But what if she is real and just… busy?”

Seamus snorted softly, though his tone was lighter. “Then she’s the busiest girlfriend in the world. Look, I’m not saying I’d tell Neville to his face that I don’t believe her. The poor bloke would be crushed. But between us… I just don’t see it.”

There was a brief lull in the conversation, and Seamus’s words hung in the air. The group seemed divided—some more skeptical, others wanting to believe in Neville’s story.

“Maybe she’ll surprise us,” one of the younger students said. “Maybe she’ll show up next year and you’ll all feel silly.”

Seamus grinned, though his expression remained doubtful. “If she shows up, I’ll buy Neville a drink. But until then… I’m betting we’re in for another year of stories about a girl we’ll never meet.”

As they laughed and talked, the door to the boys’ dormitory creaked open, and Neville came back down the stairs, his arms full of books.

“Found them,” Neville said, smiling as he returned to his spot by the window. “I almost forgot the Mooncalf studies Y/N recommended too.”

Seamus caught Dean’s eye but quickly smiled at Neville. “Glad you found everything, mate. All set for the summer, then?”

“Yeah,” Neville said, sitting down and looking a little wistful. “Just can’t wait to see her.”

Seamus nodded, his tone friendlier now. “Hope it all works out, Nev.”

As the conversation moved on to other things, the quiet skepticism lingered, but none of them had the heart to say anything to Neville directly. As much as they doubted Y/N’s existence, they couldn’t bring themselves to crush Neville’s enthusiasm. They just hoped, in their own way, that somehow, Y/N would turn out to be real after all.

----------

The Hogwarts Express rattled along the tracks, carrying its excited students back to school for another year. Laughter, chatter, and the occasional call of a vendor selling sweets filled the air as students reunited after the summer holiday, exchanging stories and catching up on the latest news.

In one of the compartments, Neville sat with Seamus, Dean, and a few other Gryffindors, a wide grin on his face as he animatedly recounted his summer adventures.

“… and then we went to this amazing garden in Kew! She couldn’t believe how many magical plants were hidden in plain sight. I’ve never seen her so excited,” Neville said, his eyes sparkling as he spoke about Y/N for the umpteenth time since they’d boarded the train.

Seamus leaned back in his seat, arms crossed, nodding along. “That sounds pretty great, Neville. So, you finally got to go on a proper date, huh?”

Neville beamed. “Yeah! We went on a few, actually. We had the best time. She was in London visiting her family for a couple of weeks, so we got to meet up almost every day.”

Dean raised an eyebrow, curious. “You said she was visiting family before, right? Didn’t she have plans to stay longer?”

“Yeah, she did,” Neville admitted, his tone dropping slightly, “but something came up. Her family had to leave earlier than expected, so she didn’t get to meet you guys like we’d planned.” He looked apologetic as he said it, clearly disappointed that his friends hadn’t been able to meet Y/N again.

“That’s too bad,” Dean said, sharing a glance with Seamus. “We were looking forward to it.”

“Yeah, me too,” Neville sighed, but then perked up again. “But we did take loads of pictures! I wanted to show you all, but… uh…” He scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “She took the photos with her by accident when she left. We were using her camera, and she packed it with all her stuff.”

Seamus blinked, his expression carefully neutral. “So, no pictures?”

Neville shook his head, he saw the clear skepticism beneath Seamus’s question but brushed it off. “No, but she’s going to send them by owl as soon as she can. She promised. There were some really good ones too—us in front of the Leaky Cauldron, at Kew Gardens, and a few near the Tower of London. I can’t wait to show you all.”

Seamus exchanged another glance with Dean, a small smile tugging at his lips, though he kept it from looking too patronizing. “Sounds like it was a great time, mate.”

“Oh, it was,” Neville said earnestly. “Y/N’s amazing. We even talked about coming up with ways to visit more often during the year. Maybe meet up during the Hogsmeade weekends. I’m going to send her a letter as soon as we get back to Hogwarts.”

Seamus nodded along, though his smile faltered slightly. “Yeah, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

Dean shifted in his seat, glancing out the window for a moment before leaning forward. “So, Neville, you said her family comes to London often, right? Does she have a lot of family here?”

“Her dad’s English,” Neville explained. “Her mum is French, so they stay over there most of the time but they come back to visit every summer, and sometimes during the holidays. That’s how we managed to spend so much time together.”

Dean nodded slowly, while Seamus leaned forward just a little. “And you didn’t think to borrow one picture, maybe a keepsake for yourself?” he asked lightly. There was no malice in his voice, but there was an unmistakable undertone of doubt.

Neville ignored it. “I didn’t need to. We’ve been writing so much, and she’s going to send the pictures soon. Besides, I’ve got her letters, and I brought back a few things we picked up together. Look.” He pulled out a small, intricately woven bracelet from his bag. “We got these matching bracelets from a little magical shop near Diagon Alley. Hers has a charm for luck, and mine’s for protection.”

Seamus studied the bracelet for a moment before leaning back. “That’s nice, Neville.”

Dean smiled at the bracelet, genuinely trying to be supportive. “Yeah, it looks great. You two must’ve had a good time.”

“We did,” Neville replied, relaxing now that he was surrounded by his friends. “She’s just… brilliant. I really wish you could’ve met her. I know you’d all get along.”

Seamus offered a friendly smile, though his eyes flickered with doubt. “Yeah, maybe next time, Neville.”

The compartment grew quiet for a moment, and the sound of the train clacking along the tracks filled the space. Outside, the countryside whizzed by in a blur of green fields and distant hills, and the feeling of excitement for the new school year was still palpable.

Dean, always the diplomat, broke the silence. “Well, I’m glad you had a good summer, Neville. Hopefully next time, the timing will work out better.”

Neville nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, I’m sure it will. She really wants to meet you all. She’s heard so much about you.”

Seamus shot Dean a look, and Dean just shrugged, his face carefully neutral. No one wanted to say it, but the story about Y/N was starting to sound a bit too convenient—another summer gone by, another set of plans that didn’t quite line up. And now, no photos to show for it, either.

But despite their growing doubts, Seamus and Dean weren’t about to crush Neville’s enthusiasm. Not after he had spent the entire train ride practically glowing with happiness. Still, once Neville got up to stretch his legs and grab some snacks from the trolley, Seamus leaned toward Dean with a raised eyebrow.

“So… still no Y/N, huh?”

Dean chuckled quietly. “Still no Y/N.”

“I swear, if she’s real, I’ll eat my own shoe,” Seamus muttered under his breath. “Every time he gets close to introducing her, something comes up.”

Dean glanced out the window again before replying. “I don’t know, Seamus. Maybe she’s real, but there’s just bad timing. Or maybe…”

“Maybe she’s in his head,” Seamus finished, his tone soft but resigned. “I just don’t get how one person could have this much bad luck when it comes to us meeting her.”

Dean shook his head, a small smile on his lips. “At this point, I just hope for Neville’s sake that she’s real. You can see how much he cares about her.”

“Yeah,” Seamus sighed, leaning back in his seat. “I hope so too.”

When Neville returned with a handful of Chocolate Frogs and a Butterbeer, his smile was as bright as ever, blissfully unaware of the quiet conversation that had just passed between his friends. And as the Hogwarts Express continued its journey, his thoughts were already on the letters he’d be sending to Y/N once they arrived at school.

----------

The atmosphere in the Great Hall was buzzing with excitement. The start of a new school year always brought surprises, but this time, there was something different in the air. The students were seated at their house tables, eagerly awaiting the feast, when Professor Dumbledore rose from his seat to address the hall.

“Welcome, students, to another year at Hogwarts!” Dumbledore’s voice echoed throughout the room, immediately capturing everyone’s attention. “I am particularly pleased to announce that this year, we will be hosting a most extraordinary event… the Triwizard Tournament!”

A murmur spread through the hall, rippling with whispers and shocked expressions. Neville, seated at the Gryffindor table with Seamus, Dean, Harry, Hermione, and Ron, exchanged confused glances with the others.

“Triwizard Tournament?” Dean muttered. “That wasn’t in the usual announcements.”

“Yeah, didn’t see that coming,” Seamus added, leaning in to hear more.

Dumbledore continued, explaining the rich history of the tournament, how it had been revived, and the prestigious honor of being chosen as a champion. Then, with a wave of his hand, he motioned to the entrance of the hall.

“And now, may I introduce our esteemed guests from Beauxbatons Academy of Magic and Durmstrang Institute.”

The heavy doors at the end of the hall swung open, and the students of Beauxbatons Academy entered. They moved with grace and poise that captivated everyone, wearing their sky-blue silk robes as they marched in perfect unison. Neville’s heart raced as he scanned the group, but he couldn’t spot Y/N among them.

“Who are they?” Harry asked, squinting to get a better look.

“I don’t know,” Hermione replied, intrigued. “But they look amazing.”

“They’re all so… elegant,” Ron said, trying to take it all in. “Do you think they’re all that good-looking?”

“Probably,” Hermione said, rolling her eyes playfully.

As the Beauxbatons students completed their entrance, Neville’s heart dropped when he didn’t see Y/N. Just when he thought he might be imagining things, she stepped forward, performing acrobatic flips and graceful spins, her hair flowing behind her like a cascade of river waves. She looked more stunning than Neville could ever have described.

“Bloody hell, who is that?” Dean whispered, eyes wide in disbelief.

Seamus was staring, frozen in place. “No way…”

When the introductions were done, Neville leaned closer to his friends. “That’s her! That’s Y/N!”

Harry raised an eyebrow, glancing between Neville and the group. “Wait, who’s Y/N? Which one?”

Neville pointed toward Y/N, who was beaming with joy alongside her classmates. “The one in the front! I didn’t know she was coming!”

The others turned to look, their expressions shifting from curiosity to disbelief. “No way!” Ron exclaimed, glancing at Neville. “You weren’t joking about her being real?”

Hermione clapped a hand over her mouth, eyes wide. “She’s absolutely brilliant!”

Before anyone could say another word, a voice called out from across the hall.

“Neville!”

Neville’s head snapped up, and there she was, weaving through the crowd, her face lighting up when she spotted him. “Y/N!” he breathed.

The next thing he knew, Y/N was rushing toward him, a wide smile on her face. “Neville!” she called again, and in an instant, she was there, throwing her arms around him.

Without hesitation, she began planting kisses all over his face—on his cheeks, forehead, and nose—her laughter bubbling up as she clung to him. “I’ve missed you so much!” she said between kisses.

The entire Gryffindor table stared in stunned silence. Seamus’s mouth was hanging open, while Dean could only blink in disbelief. All around the hall, students who had been casually talking or laughing stopped to watch the unexpected display. Whispers started spreading like wildfire, but Neville didn’t care—he was too overjoyed, too caught up in the moment.

“Y/N!” Neville finally managed to say, his face flushed from the attention. “I—I missed you too! I didn’t know you were coming! Why didn’t you tell me?”

Y/N giggled and pulled back just enough to look into his eyes, her hands still resting on his shoulders. “I wanted to surprise you, silly. You should’ve seen your face when I came in!” Her eyes sparkled with mischief.

Neville was too overwhelmed to respond properly. His heart felt like it was about to burst from happiness. “I can’t believe you’re here,” he said, grinning ear to ear.

“I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere,” Y/N said softly, wrapping her arms around him again in a tight hug.

The Gryffindor table was still frozen in place, watching the entire scene unfold with wide eyes. Seamus finally found his voice and leaned toward Dean, whispering, “Well… that is not what I expected at all...”

Dean shook his head in disbelief. “You’re not the only one, mate.”

Y/N finally pulled away from Neville, her smile never fading. She glanced around at his friends, who were still recovering from the shock. “You must be Neville’s friends,” she said brightly, offering them a cheerful wave. “It’s so nice to finally meet you all!”

“Y-Yeah, we’ve heard… a lot about you,” Dean stammered, offering a friendly, albeit awkward smile.

Y/N laughed, completely oblivious to the lingering disbelief. “I hope all good things!”

“Definitely,” Seamus managed to say, shooting Neville a look that was a mixture of awe and apology. “Welcome to Hogwarts, Y/N.”

As the rest of the Great Hall resumed their chatter, Neville stood there with Y/N by his side, his face glowing with pride. After a year of doubt, teasing, and skepticism, here she was—real, vibrant, and wonderful.

For once, Neville didn’t need to say anything. His friends finally believed him.

[reigningqueenofwords]

You'll Be Back

Pairing: past Dean x Reader, Reader x Mitchell (OC) Word count: 2,651 Warnings: Physical abuse, mentions of verbal abuse Request:  @arrowenchantress could be like, husband does something stupid leading to reader and son moving in with Winchesters, Dean helps reader and son, reader reluctantly lets him back in, they start to fall in love, find out Dean started to have a crush on her after prom that’s why he was being so weird, then sweet and fluffy family together ending? 🤣 just a thought

Read on AO3

Part 2 of It’s Not Mine

You hung your head, letting out a sigh. “Babe, I can’t just tell Dean to stay away.” You told your husband. “I’m not rushing to be friends with him, but I won’t be rude.” Mitchell currently hated the idea of Dean being near Daniel. John had gotten hurt, and couldn’t work anymore. Dean moved back home and got a job. Which meant that when you brought Daniel to see your dad and John, you’d see Dean. 

“I just don’t like it.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “Dean walked away from you when you were pregnant. Didn’t even come around to find out if the baby was his, and I don’t feel he deserves to be anywhere near him.” There was no way that he was backing down from this. 

“If Dean happens to be at John’s when I bring Danny over, then he’s there. It’s his house, too. He lives there. What, do you want me to tell him to get out of his own house when Danny sleeps over there?” Did he not see how wrong that was? “Danny loves those weekends at John’s.” 

Mitchell rolled his eyes. “I know he does, but I’m not comfortable about any of this.” 

You stared at him. “What’s this really about? It doesn’t make sense that you’re getting so annoyed about Dean possibly being around Danny. Is this because I didn’t change Danny’s name when we got married?” You asked.

“That doesn’t help matters any.” He shrugged. “You changed your name, but not his. Are you attached to it?” 

“You’re joking, right? I didn’t change it because I want that to be Danny’s choice when he’s older.” You defended yourself. “Nothing more.” 

“Are you sure you don’t still have feelings for Dean?” 

“Where did that even come from? We went to his senior prom as friends and slept together once. It’s not like we had an actual relationship.” He knew exactly what happened, so you couldn’t understand where this was coming from. 

Mitchell shook his head. “I don’t want him thinking that he can try anything with you when you’re near him. I don’t want to get told that you’ll be having another kid with him, especially when we haven’t even gotten to the point where we plan to have one.”

“Do you not trust me? We’ve been together 2 years, married for one of those.” Hearing him say this hurt you. You’d never given him any reason to not trust you. Then something clicked. You schooled your features. “Is this one of those things where the actual cheater is super worried about their partner cheating?” You asked calmly. When he looked away quickly, it was like a slap in the face. 

“We’re talking about you and him.” He pushed. 

“Don’t you dare try to get out of this.” You seethed, thankful Daniel was at your father’s. “Who is she?” You couldn’t believe this. “Mitchell…” 

He sagged. “Kendra.” He told you. 

“The Kendra you work with?” You asked, knowing exactly who she was. “How long has this been going on?!” How long had you been blind? How long had your husband been cheating on you? It felt like you could literally feel your heart breaking. What about you attracted men that would hurt you like this? 

“Almost a year and a half. She’s pregnant, and due in a month.” 

“Jesus Christ.” You blinked away the tears. You couldn’t believe this! 

When he saw you walking towards the backdoor, he looked confused. “Where are you going?” He asked, angry that you would walk away from him. 

“To get some fresh air. I want a divorce. I’ll talk to my dad about me staying with him when I go get Danny in the morning.” You sniffed. 

“Let’s talk about this.” He stopped you, gripping your arms. 

You tried to pull free. “You’re hurting me!” You were used to him calling you names, or making remarks, but he’d never put his hands on  you. “Mitchell!”

He glared at you. “Sit down, now. We can talk about this.” 

“No!” You snapped. The last thing that you wanted to do was sit down and talk to your husband about him cheating on you. His hand met your face, and you tasted blood. 

John was confused to see you calling him. Most of the time you just called to talk about Danny. “Hello.” He answered. 

“John?” You snuffed, making him sit up in bed. 

“Y/N? What happened? What’s going on?” He felt his heart hammering in his chest. 

“Can you come get me? I’d call my dad, but he’s got Danny.” You told him, your voice low. “Please?” 

You were breaking his heart. “I’ll be there as soon as I can. Where’s Mitchell?" “He’s in the living room. I locked myself in the bathroom.” You explained quickly. “Use your spare key to get in.” You’d worry about getting your things while he was at work the next day. You and your son would not stay one more night in that house.

Dean was confused when he was woken up to thudding on the stairs. Getting up, he went to see John pulling on his boots. “Dad? What’s going on?” He yawned. 

“Y/N just called me in tears asking me to go get her. I’ll be back.” He told him, grabbing his coat and keys. 

It was like he got cold water dumped on him. “Wait, what?” He asked. “Is she okay? Is Danny okay?” 

“I don’t know, and he’s next door. Safe. Make a run to the store. Get her some fruit candy, some Sprite, and some wine. Moscato is her favorite.” With that, he rushed to his truck. That would keep Dean busy, and it would be something for you to have when you got that. Maybe help you relax a bit. 

Dean stood there, wondering what happened to you. Did you and Mitch have a fight? But why would you need John to go get you? Could you not drive? Shaking his head, he went to get dressed to get you what your dad suggested. Clearly John knew you well.

“Y/N?!” John called out, making you quickly unlock the door. Rushing out of your downstairs bathroom, you went right to him. Mitchell shot you a look as you hugged the older man. “Jesus, sweetheart.” He felt like either ripping Mitchell limb from limb or crying. 

“Can we just go?” You wanted out of that house. 

“Let’s go.” He put his arm around you gently. 

“You’ll be back.” Mitchell said, sipping a beer. 

“No, I won’t.” You said softly. “Thanks for coming, John.” You said once you were outside. 

John opened the truck door for you. “You’re welcome. I’m glad I could be there for you.” Once he was also in the truck, he waited until he was driving before talking again. “Has he ever hit you before?” He asked, hoping like hell you hadn’t been dealing with this for long. 

You shook your head. “No, tonights the first time. Usually it’s just name calling and stuff.” You gingerly wiped under your eyes. “He was pissed about me and Danny being near Dean. I couldn’t understand what his issue was, why he wouldn’t trust me.” You explained, heart breaking all over. “Turns out he’s been cheating for almost a year and a half, and she’s due with his baby next month.” You sobbed. “What is wrong with me that I attract men that will just break my heart?” 

His stomach sank. “There’s nothing wrong with you. Not a damn thing.” He said gently. “I’m not making excuses for Dean, either. I think he’s kicking himself for what he did and how he acted. Mitchell had us all fooled.” He had liked Mitchell. Thought he was a good guy, and was good for you and Danny. 

“Apparently Mitchell thinks I have feelings for Dean because Danny has his last name.” You leaned your head back and closed your eyes. “He couldn’t understand why I didn’t change Danny’s last name when I changed mine.” 

“Did he even ever ask to adopt Danny?” 

Sighing, you looked out the window. “No, he didn’t.” You were beyond thankful for that now. “At least Danny won’t ever see him again, and Danny is young enough that this won’t really effect him much. Or, I hope it won’t.”

“Kids are tough.” He assured you. “Dean was 4 when Mary died.” You knew who Mary was, but hadn’t heard all that much about her. Neither Dean nor John spoke of her that much, and you could understand why. “I did my best to raise those boys while mourning her. I made mistakes, which you know. You were there for some of them. And, even with Dean being an ass to you, he’s turned out okay.” He knew he wasn’t perfect, and never claimed to be. “Danny is young. And he has you as his mom. He’ll be okay.” 

You gave him a small smile. “We also have you, my dad, and Sam.” You didn’t want him to think he wasn’t having a positive impact on him. “We’re lucky.” Even if Sam was away at school, the pair of you were still friends. You texted, and often sent him pictures of Danny.

Dean was sitting in the dining room with a cup of coffee when he heard the front door open. He got up and rushed to the hall, stopping when he saw you. “Y/N…” 

“Hi, Dean.” You said awkwardly, slipping off your slippers. 

“What the hell happened?” He asked, moving closer to you. He could see the split lip, the start of a shiner, and some bruising on the side of your neck. “Who did this to you?” 

“Let’s get you a drink. I’ll talk to him.” John spoke up, not wanting you to have to repeat everything. “I had Dean get you some stuff while I was getting you.” He explained, leading you towards the kitchen. 

You nodded, following him. Sitting down, you watched him open a bottle of your favorite wine. “Thank you.” You said softly as you took the glass he handed you. 

After he slid a bag of your favorite candy to you, he went to tell Dean what happened in the living room. “Apparently, he thinks she has feelings for you because of Danny’s last name.” He sighed, running his hand over his face. “He didn’t like the idea of her and Danny near you. Didn’t trust her. Turns out he’s been cheating on her for almost a year and a half, and the other woman is pregnant. Due next month.” He shook his head. “They’ve only been together two years, married one.” 

Dean clenched his jaw. “Has he always beat her?” He asked. 

“No, tonight was the first time. He was verbally abusive, though.” He sat down, hanging his head. “I had no idea. She blames herself.” 

“What?” How could you blame yourself for your husband hitting you? 

“She asked me what was wrong with her that she attracts men that will break her heart.” He hoped that in time you’d heal, but he knew that would take time. “I’m just thankful Danny wasn’t home to see that. I don’t know if he heard the things Mitch said to her, though.” He hoped like hell he hadn’t. 

Dean felt sick. He was part of the reason you blamed yourself. He didn’t think you’d want to see him right then, so he sat on the couch and leaned back. “I’m glad she had you to call.”

“Me, too.” He nodded a bit. 

Hearing movement, they looked over. “Do you mind if I take a shower before crawling into Danny’s bed?” You asked, wanting to wash that night off of you. 

“Of course.” John agreed. 

“Do you want a pair of my sweats and a shirt to sleep in?” Dean offered. “This way you can be comfortable?” You were in jeans, and knew from experience those weren’t the best to sleep in.” 

You thought about it for a moment. “Sure. I plan to go mine and Danny’s things tomorrow. I’ll wash your shirt and sweats to give back when we get back to my dad’s.” 

“Want me to go with you, sweetheart?” John offered. “In case he’s there?” 

“He has work tomorrow, but I think I’d feel safer that way.” Like you’d turn down having a bodyguard as a just in case. “Go about lunch time? He usually has to be in about 10 in the morning.” It rarely changed. 

Dean handed you the softest sweats he owned and a shirt. “No rush getting them back. Worry about getting out of that house first, okay?” He didn’t want you to worry about something as trivial as getting his clothes back to him. “Does your dad work tomorrow?” Would Danny have to go with you to get your things?

“Yeah, he does.” 

“Want me to take a sick day? I can watch him here while you and dad do that.” As much as he wanted to offer to take you, he didn’t want to risk setting Mitchell off with you around. If Mitchell had an issue with him, there’s no telling what he would do. 

You glanced at John, who gave you a comforting smile and nod to let you know he felt it was okay. “Sure.” You agreed. “I’ll bring him over after he eats lunch. He might nap, he might not. He hasn’t napped consistently since he was a toddler.” He’d been so small and squishy. You missed it some days, but loved the little boy he was growing into. 

“Is he allergic to anything?” Dean didn’t want to risk anything. 

“No, he’s not.” You shook your head. “But, thank you for the clothes. I’m going to go shower and crawl into bed. Night.” You said softly before disappearing upstairs. 

Dean watched you go and let out a breath. 

You shut the bathroom door gently before leaning against it. You’d fought the tears so hard, but couldn’t any more. At 22, you had a 5 year old with a man who didn’t even claim him, and your marriage of just a year was over. This was not where you expected to be! You couldn’t, and wouldn’t, regret your son. He was your whole world, but when you were 16 you’d dreamt of college. Of finding your passion. Of finding lifelong friends. One day getting married and having kids. 

Moving to turn on the shower, you hoped that this crying wore you out enough to sleep. You didn’t want to lie awake, the events of that night repeating over and over in your head.

John made his way to bed a few minutes after you went to shower, and hated hearing you cry like that. It wasn’t fair at all. 

While he did that, Dean was lying awake on the pullout couch. One hand was behind his head, the other was on his stomach. He felt guilty. Had he not said what he did, had he not taken off, had he stepped up to be a dad, and had he not been a complete ass…you would have never been in this spot. You wouldn’t have married an abusive prick. You wouldn’t have bruises on you. If he could go back in time and slap himself upside the head, he would. That just wasn’t possible.

Once you’d dried off and pulled on the borrowed clothes, you made your way to Danny’s room. You were thankful John opted to get him a twin bed and slap sides on it so he didn’t roll off. You left the door cracked and shuffled over to the bed. Looking around, you smiled softly. There were a few pictures of Danny and John around the room, a couple of Danny and Sam, and toys your son loved. It didn’t take you long to fall asleep once your head was on the pillow.

[supernaturalistthings]

Season 4 Dean Winchester Headcanons

Lazarus Rising- Having a reunion with Dean after hell. You wouldn't believe it's him at first but after reassurance from Bobby and Sam you’d run into each other's arms. He'd be holding back tears while holding you like he needed you to breathe, and THE KISS? The kiss is magical and mixed with tears because you just can't believe you got the love of your life back. The relief you both feel is top tier. “Don't worry baby i got you” But really you'd have him and you know this is the start of a hard road of recovery for him.

Are you there God? It's me Dean Winchester- comforting and reassuring him after his fight with the ghosts of Meg and Hendrikson. Slowly running your hands through his hair and singing his praises because he deserves that. 

Monster Movie- You’d accompany the boys on this case and actually be the one to get taken by the “vampire”. Once Dean fights to get you back safe you'd laugh at the shifter together after everything is said and done and just be in awe of your lives and the things that happen.

Yellow Fever- You'd also be on this case with the boys. You'd comfort Dean about his ghost sickness and promise to keep him safe from any angsty teenagers that come your way. He really believes you and clings to you for any comfort he can get. You and Sam do the heavy lifting on the case, sharing the load of your worries about Dean together. You can't help but giggle a little when he gets scared of the cat jumping out of the storage thing. Vowing to tease him for it later, and you do when he's okay. “I had freaking ghost sickness okay?! Let that cat try it now and see how little I care…” he'd say.

Wishful Thinking- He wishes for you to be right there with him which results in the sudden urge for you to drive for hours to get to him. The downside of the curse is that you were not happy about the drive or being mind controlled by a coin so you're livid when you show up. Of course when the curse is broken you both laugh at the whole thing together and needless to say he’ll do ANYTHING to make it up to you;)

The Monster at the End of This Book- You’re shocked to learn that you and your boyfriend are full frontal in a book “youve got to be kidding me” was all you could say. You'd be even more shocked to learn that you have fans and they are “shipping” you and Dean. You'd be grossed out to find out that people also “ship” you and Sam. “Ewww” you'd both let out in unison. “Yeah it better be eww” Dean would huff out in disgust with an added eye roll.  Dean would secretly re read the chapters where it talks about your feelings towards him, he secretly loves that its written by a prophet how much you love and care for him. It's a huge reassurance.

When the Levee Breaks- You help him try to detox Sam and are there to calm him down when he's alone. He doesn't tell you that he gave himself over to the angels wanting to enjoy his last moments with you. You constantly have a hand on him and just hold him through the whole Sam demon blood detox telling him it's going to be okay no matter what happens.

Lucifer Rising- You're on Dean's side with the whole Ruby thing of course, you always saw through her and got the feeling she was just trying to manipulate Sam for some reason. You were with Bobby when Dean was teleported to the angels and you both were freaking out knowing there was nothing you guys could do. You sat with him panicked, waiting on any signs of life from either of them. Cas pops in to reassure you guys that Dean is somewhere safe which does nothing for the both of you and you freak out telling him to bring him back which then Cas just vanishes with no answers. Eventually Sam and Dean turn up pretty beat up. You're beyond pissed at Sam when you hear the whole story. You're beyond worried when you hear Dean say the devil is out and it's their problem.

[roeyliteratiforever]

So if your looking at things from Jess' pov his mom just kicked him out to live with his uncle he barely knows, he has a lady he's just meeting for the first time talking to him about how she knows what he's going through and to him it feels condescending even if it wasn't meant that way by Lorelai. He doesn't want to be in Stars Hollow initially so he starts acting out to test how quickly he could get sent back such as stealing garden noms...etc, then he meets a girl who shares the same interests as him and the only person in town so far that doesn't automatically treat him like a preconceived opinion about him and she makes him feel comfortable so he proceed to impress his crush with writing notes in her book margins (that says I want you to know me) and pulls pranks that would make her laugh to then learn she has a boyfriend and learn that he is beloved by her mother that loathes him.

Dean does all the "perfect boyfriend things" while being a possessive, explosive, and an emotionally abusive control freak. Jess only wants to then spend more time with her, but the whole town already thinks he is trouble because of the reputation he set for himself.

He gets into a car accident with Rory and people then act like he's the spawn of Satan. He becomes so anxious and feels so bad after the accident that he leaves town because he doesn't want to cause Rory any harm or get harm from the weirdo townies. When she comes for him in New York he gets this burst of hope in him which is why he decides to move back for the possibility of being with Rory.

After Rory kissed him the first time he was so gone for her and in that moment that was all he wanted. He genuinely thought she was going to break up with Dean and choose to be with him, but when she didn't and left instead (my boy who already has deep abandonment wounds) is hurt because she didn't outright choose him and left. He then was alone without the one person in that town that he wanted to be around and so he met Shane who didn't want anything serious so it was a perfect way to try to mask his pain with her. He mysteriously gets a car, and people are going nuts thinking he stole it, and he's thinking I can't even get a second job without people thinking I'm a criminal, and I can't get a second job without people accusing me of being a drug dealer or a stripper.

Once him and Rory get together he is so happy he doesn't want to mess it up with her and he gets nervous because he wants everything to go right. She's the one he's been waiting for and now he has her. Then her ex boyfriend starts stalking and harassing him in secret and he feels like he can't do anything about it, and can't even tell his girlfriend about it because he thinks she won't believe her if he told her, so he bottles it up. When he gets attacked by the swan and she thought he got in a fight with Dean and didn't believe him it really hurt him. (I don't blame Rory for this she had no way of knowing and Dean was being manipulative with his "nice guy" and shitty behaviors but it still hurt Jess none the less.) After that he begins to put up his walls again.

When he realizes he's been messing up after not calling he then starts trying to do better and set dates and plans to be with her. All he wants to do is make her happy at this point. Then he gets the news that he's not graduating and in that moment it feels like everything everyone had always said about him came true, he felt like a failure and knowing that he wasn't going to be able to keep his promise to Rory that he would take her to prom crushed him. He wanted so badly to be there for her and do all the boyfriend things and he was so afraid of telling her he wasn't graduating and so upset he couldn't keep his promise to her. His smart girlfriend was getting into an ivy league school and he wasn't even going to graduate highschool and the thought of telling her that was horrible to him.

He could feel he was losing her and he thought once he told her that it would be over, and ended up messing things up with her anyways. He felt like he was doing her a favor by leaving because he figured she would want him gone. He didn't think she would want him to stay, even though that's all she wanted. He was battling his demons alone and was used to everyone shipping him off when he messed up that he thought he was doing her a favor by leaving after he messed up so bad.

His father that left him as a baby showed up in his life for the first time and he didn't know how to handle that. Once Luke kicked him out he ran to his dad that left him because crashing on his couch or floor was better than staying with his neglectful deadbeat mother.

He finds out his uncle was hiding his car from him and felt double betrayed he was already feeling abandoned yet again after Luke kicked him out to then find out he took something he worked so hard to get from him he was more betrayed. He comes back to Stars Hollow to get his car and everyone still wants him gone. Luke tells Jess to stay away from Rory so he proceeds trying to avoid her while he is there and he knows how badly he messed up with her and he wants to talk to her but when he sees her at the firelight festival he wants to explain to her but she is still so mad and all he could get out was that he loves her. He just wanted her to know he then leaves because he doesn't expect her to say anything he just wanted her to know. Jess is deeply hurting at this point inside and his pain is at it's peak. He just keeps digging a deeper whole and doesn't know how to fix it at this point.

Luke convinces Jess to go to his neglectful mother's wedding and goes to a bachelor party where he is assaulted by his stepdad to be at a bar and he naturally goes into defense mode. He was so used to his other abusive step dad's that he was constantly in defense mode and fought back. He goes to his mother's wedding anyways and walks her down the isle despite everything his mom put him through. Luke gives him the self help book that he had been reading, and Jess reads it and tries to better himself as well, meanwhile Lorelai scoffs to Luke about it. (I love Lorelai but that was extremely uncalled for by her and it just makes me think no matter what he does or how better he becomes he will always resent him, and it just makes no sense that she has this one sided grudge with a kid that was deeply in pain.) He makes up with Luke and thanks him for everything he did for him, and then he goes to try to apologize and tell Rory how he feels, but then he sees Dean there and he is thrown off and he just wants to make things right so in the spur of the moment he asks her to leave with him because he just wants to fix what they had. (He wasn't thinking rationally, but he meant it when he said she could count on him now and so he went out and turned his life around and made something for himself and came back to show her how much she could count him now even if it meant as a friend. He would still be there for her and he showed her that he could be the person she always knew he was. He still didn't expect anything from her he just wanted to show her his book, and let her know he couldn't have done it without her.)

He was so badly traumatized while him and Rory were together and it couldn't have possibly worked out at that time. He was battling so much pain internally, and everyone in that town was against him and actively hating him 😭 and I just feel for what he was going through, and I'm just so proud of who he turned out to be. I'm not sure what this rant was anymore but I'm just thinking about Jess' perspective and his pain right now. He was in so much pain while him and Rory were together and he didn't know how to properly express that or tell her that, and I just want to hug him and I'm so proud of him for how far he came and how much he overcame his pain and trauma and ugh I just feel so much right now. (Also I had a lot of coffee today and my autistic/ADHD brain is just going with thoughts right now.)

[stayevildarling]

not sure if you take requests atm… but if you do, could i request an angst, mina x cordelia x billie x reader fic where reader is struggling with like depression and/or sh, but tries to hide it from her girlfriends. i know you’ve written a few stories just like this one, so please feel free to add anything or twist the story however you’d like. idk im just thinking some kind of argument but a fliff ending

thank you! have a good day

Wilhemina Venable x Cordelia Goode x Billie Dean Howard x Reader- Confessions in the dark

A/N: honestly I considered making this even longer but I have no idea whether people enjoy reading very long fics anymore. But I can easily make a part two with this as I don't believe it would end there and like this because let's face it- life isn't all sunshine and rainbows 🤷‍♀️

word count: 7k

tw: mention of depression (very mild), mention of self harm (mild), mention of troubled eating (very mild), mention of being sick, cursing, smoking

taglist: @lunaticwhittaker, @billiebeanhoward @lanawinters-ily, @kenzbro, @minaslittleone, @httpfiftyshadesofgay @whitelotus00 , @ninaahs , @vintagepaulson , @isle-of-earle, @paulsonsratched, @stepintomyworld, @grilledcheeseandguavajelly, @lucyintheskywithxanax, @fanfics4world, @mymiraclewitch, @hazard-to-myself, @awritersometime, @ohrwurm26, @wastdstime

As the day slowly winds down at the academy, the atmosphere shifting from a busy morning filled with classes, errands and working, to a cozy and relaxed one. Wilhemina had been working, Billie as well but having a more quiet day, only some meetings on her usual busy agenda. You had spent your day moping mostly, trying to focus on teaching your classes and helping out your students, eventually collapsing on your bed as the responsibilities tired you out, causing you to retreat to the comfort of a nap, sleep drawing out all the thoughts that had been lingering on your mind lately, shushing the battles you had been fighting in silence for the last few weeks.

When you eventually awaken, your usual darkness surrounds you and clouds your thoughts but as you almost lazily scroll through the academy, you find her. Medium to your heart. Billie arrived home earlier than usual, her presence bringing a sense of warmth and comfort to the spacious living room. She settles onto the plush sofa, kicking off her heels and letting out a contented sigh as she sinks into the cushions. Not expecting either of her girlfriends to have finished with their days yet, she is surprised to find you lingering by the doorway, chuckling seeing you so comfortable in an oversized hoodie and looking adorable as ever.

You join her, snuggling up beside her on the sofa, grateful for the chance to unwind together after a long day. The two of you share easy conversation, laughing and joking as you catch up on each other's day. Billie's presence is like a soothing balm, and you find yourself relaxing in her company, feeling safe and cherished.

,,How has your day been babydoll?'' she asks as she presses a gentle kiss to your forehead, her nails comfortable settling on your back, creeping underneath your hoodie and scratching over the skin ever so gently in a soothing way, the way you loved it most.

,,It's been fine, how about yours?'' you muster up your best smile, trying to avert her eyes as you knew she could see right through you. As she begins to share some details about her day, her manicure appointment and some meetings today, you notice Wilhemina lingering in the hallway, having returned from work a few moments before. She moves gently around the room, with a sense of quiet grace, her presence adding an air of sophistication to the space. She joins you both after a little while, giving you both a gentle smile before settling in her armchair besides you and listening to Billie talk about her day, the redhead usually enjoying some quiet rather than sharing details about her day, very much like you but at the same time very much unlike your other two girlfriends.

Cordelia on the other hand, has been out running errands, her day filled with tasks and responsibilities. At first the was doing some work in her office, going over some council things, replying to some emails, checking for any new applications. Briefly, she made an appearance in one of the classes run by you and Zoe, smiling contently as she noticed everything was running smoothly. After lunch, she decided to head out, doing some errands, including shopping and also visiting the doctors office to pick up Wilhemina's medications and prescriptions. Usually the redhead did these things herself but she had asked Cordelia as she knew the supreme needed to head out today and Wilhemina couldn't make it in time. During her visit and conversation with the receptionist, knowing the four of you and especially the supreme quite well by now, she however, received some unexpected news.

And as she finally returns home, her mind racing with worry and concern, the tension is very noticeable as she enters the living room, taking a deep breath, as her eyes lock with your own. Almost ignoring Wilhemina's and Billie's presence as the medium stopped talking when noticing the supreme's presence and greeting her with some warm words. All three of you notice, the tension and the concern written across the blonde's features and so Wilhemina is the first one to take over, sensing yours and Billie's hesitation and the flick of fear in your eyes.

,,Honey, what is it?'' she asks gently, trying to make eye contact with the supreme. And despite the flicker in the blondes eyes, acknowledging the redheads statement, her eyes can't help but leave yours.

,,I stopped by the doctors office today to pick up some of Wilhemina's medication'' she begins and instantly you shiver in Billie's arms, the blonde noticing the shift from you comfortable and safe in her arms to being able the feel the tension so clearly.

Wilhemina's eyebrows furrow in confusion, not understanding what any of that has to do with you, before her eyes travel towards you and noticing your state.

Cordelia takes a moment to gather her thoughts, her mind racing with how to broach the sensitive topic, doubting whether she should have talked to you alone, however her worry not being able to delay this conversation any further. ,,Sweetie'' she addresses you directly, her tone gentle yet a little firm. ,,Why haven't you been picking up your medication for quite some time now?''

The room falls silent as Cordelia's words hang in the air, the question not being answered, as all you can do in response being shivering in Billie's arms. The medium's brows furrow with concern, as her hands try to keep you calm, trying to reassure you as she is sure there is an explanation for this, despite the flicker of guilt in her brown orbs. Wilhemina's expression remains neutral, though her eyes betray a hint of worry. All eyes are on you now, awaiting your response and what they are sure may just be a simply misunderstanding.

As Cordelia's words sink in, you feel a knot form in your stomach, your thoughts racing as you realise they had caught on. The weight of their gazes on you, Billie's hands on you, hit you like a ton of bricks. You guessed they would eventually catch on, despite your best efforts at hiding your emotions and state, however you didn't expect it to be today of all days, now, in-front of the other two as well.

Billie's hands travel towards your cheeks, trying to give you some comfort as she meets your eyes, noticing how your chin begins wobbling, tears lingering in your eyes, the tension in the room growing with each second. ,,Babydoll, is everything okay?'' she asks softly, the concern evident in her voice and features.

Wilhemina watches you intently, her expression unreadable as she waits for your response. Though she remains silent, her gaze holds a silent plea for you to open up, despite knowing you are very much like the slightly older woman, having a hard to time lay your feelings out like that. Her eyes eventually find Cordelia's, both questioning her choice of bringing it up like that, at the same time giving her an understanding nod, sharing the blonde's concern over you.

And as time flees on, the seconds slowly turning into minutes, you try and think of something. You could easily lie, making up some sort of excuse for not having been able to pick it up, or even blame it on the doctors office, making some kind of mistake. You despised it, lying to them, but you couldn't share how truly bad you had been feeling. For a moment it does cross your mind, whether to be honest, tell them about the battles you had been fighting, how you had really been struggling with sleeping, eating, often making excuses and how an all too familiar friend, the blade, had come to greet you again some time ago.

And then the room begins spinning a little, the lack of food mixed with your anxiety slowly bubbling inside you, threatening to spill out any moment and cause for panic to win over. Billie's hands still linger on you, but you can't feel them, their gazes blurring together as one, mixing in with the walls and furniture, the orange and yellow from the sun setting in the background. And then your ears begin ringing a little, fading out the sounds of Cordelia's words, begging you to fill them in on what's been going on. But somehow, Wilhemina notices, how your eyes are fixed on a point somewhere, staring into nothingness, how your hands are shaking, your legs bouncing up underneath the blanket ever so slightly, how your face turned noticeably pale.

,,Y/N, I need you to talk to us'' Cordelia begins again, ignoring your state as her thoughts of concern and worry win over.

,,Cordelia-'' Wilhemina begins, slowly drawing her eyes away from you and towards the redhead. And when the blonde notices the expression on her girlfriends face, she instantly stops, her mouth closing as she stops the words that were about to follow. Wilhemina's eyes plead with her to stop, to notice your struggling state and to focus on helping you rather than interrogating you right now.

Cordelia fights back some tears, internally scolding herself for pushing you and not noticing she was pushing too much, not noticing your vulnerable state, still sitting in Billie's arms. And then, they just let you sit in silence, waiting for this little storm to pass as your breaths become a little more erratic, your chest rising and falling quickly. Wilhemina composes herself, reaching for your hand, as Billie lets go of them. And when you feel a slightly firmer grip on your hand, your eyes snap open, her brown eyes drawing you towards her.

And as you look up at her, meeting her brown steady and safe eyes, the little reassuring smile and feeling her thumb rub little circles on your hand, your breathing finally returns to normal, the colour slowly finding it's way to your features again. And just like that, her safety guides you back to reality, your vision much less blurry, the panic slowly subsiding. She simply gives you a proud little smile as you return the favour by mouthing the words ,,Thank you''. And then the room is quiet again, Billie glancing at Cordelia, who still stands in the room, almost frozen, watching the exchange between you and the redhead.

,,Are you tired little one?'' your girlfriends asks, noticing how you are trying very hard to blink the sleep away. Glancing at your other two girlfriends, you simply nod, feeling a little shy and embarassed, also guilty for never answering their questions. ,,Let's get you upstairs, shall we?'' she asks before balancing on her cane and holding out her hand to you. You hesitate then, glancing at Billie who simply forces a smile and nods, allowing you to go and reassuring it's okay to get some rest.

And so you take her hand, not daring to glance at Cordelia, feeling horrible and guilty for ignoring her like this, but at the same time not being able to help it as sleep and a sense of fatigue washes over you, almost drowning you in it. And so carefully, you balance on Wilhemina, quickly up on your shaky legs and following her upstairs. Billie and Cordelia watch as the two of you leave, the only sound to be heard, the sound of Wilhemina's cane as the two of you ascend the stairs and eventually make it into your shared bedroom. Cordelia sighs heavily as soon as she hears the faint sound of the bedroom door opening and closing, almost with a sense of defeat walking over to the sofa where you had sat and sitting down next to Billie, rubbing her temples in annoyance and distress.

,,I'm sure it's nothing, darling'' Billie tries to reassure her, noticing the supremes state, knowing her words wouldn't give much comfort to the blonde, but wanting to try nevertheless. ,,I'm sorry'' Cordelia whispers, the guilt weighing heavily on her mind. ,,I shouldn't have brought it up like that'' she apologies, more to you and herself rather than Billie Dean. ,,I understand love, but you're worried and it's okay'' the medium reassures as she reaches for the supreme's hand and giving it a gentle squeeze, her girlfriend simply responding with a sad smile.

Meanwhile, Wilhemina had guided you upstairs, with so much love and gentleness, it almost makes you cry as you sit on the bed where she had sat you down. As the room turns darker and darker by the minute, you watch as she walks over to your wardrobe, carefully opening some draws until she finds your pyjama one and looking for some comfortable ones. Once she is content with her choice, she reaches for a hairbrush and scrunchie before returning to you. Neatly, she places the clothes beside you, before ushering you to turn around. ,,Mina- you don't need to'' you begin to protest but she shushes you quickly with a gentle smile and shaking of her head.

And so you comply, sitting crossed leg and turning around, before you feel her fingertips slowly brush over the top of your head, before leaning her cane on the bed, brushing through your hair gently, removing some knots, before braiding your hair for you. Usually, Cordelia would do these things for you, without ever asking for it, but your Delia loved taking care of you and so there is something so special about this encounter with your Mina that again it almost brings tears to your eyes. Her hands feel so gentle on your scalp that it almost makes you fall asleep, yet the braiding keeps you awake a little as she has to apply a certain amount of pressure to make your hair stay in place. Once she finishes, she reaches for her cane, putting the hairbrush back neatly in place, as you turn around and reach for your pyjamas.

,,Let me help you with those little one'' she tries, but you protest then, reaching for them and heading towards the bathroom. ,,Thank you but I'll do this'' you reassure. And she brushes it off then, knowing if anyone tried to dress her, she would be furious, Mina especially struggling with accepting help, even if it was with you three. And as you stand in the bathroom, smiling at first, noticing how much gentleness and care she had put into the braiding, your smile quickly fades as you noticed what pyjamas she had chosen for you. You didn't mind the trousers, however the matching shirt was unfortunately short sleeved as it was the middle of summer and her choice was more than valid.

However, as you take off your hoodie, the red marks another reminder of your foolishness lately, adding another pang of guilt to your features, almost causing your heart to sink in your chest. ,,Shit'' you think to yourself, knowing Wilhemina was perceptive, maybe not as confronting as Cordelia but after the encounter downstairs, you knew you had to be careful from now on, at least if you want to continue the hiding and keep the perfect facade up. And so you opt for the only thing you can think of, putting on the shirt but quickly putting back on your hoodie, easily being able to explain that, simply saying you are cold. And after quickly brushing your teeth, you find yourself back in the bedroom, Wilhemina waiting patiently for you, as she sits on the bed, smiling seeing her little one so comfortable and adorable.

A little unsure what to do next, you simply abandon your clothes in a nearby washing basket, before walking over to your side of the bed, crawling underneath the covers, before Wilhemina gently tucks you in, sitting beside you. ,,Are you cold, little one?'' she questions, noticing how you are still wearing your hoodie. In response, you simply nod, not wanting the subject to be adressed further and despite her being able to tell, she simply tucks you in a little more. Yawning, you glance at her before mumbling ,,You can go back down... mm.. tired'' and she smiles then, loving to see you so sleepy and adorable. ,,It's okay little one'' , she whispers before watching your chest slowly rise and fall, much more comfortable than before as sleep slowly greets you, her hand rubbing little circles on your forehead, lulling you into a soft slumber.

After a while, the redhead carefully gets up, walking towards the door but making sure you are still asleep. And when she leaves, walking down the stairs, she can hear both Billie and Cordelia in the kitchen. Her mouth watering a little as she smells the supreme's cooking, hungry and tired from her busy day, the concern about you still lingering on her mind. She finds Cordelia walking back and forth from the kitchen island to the fridge, gathering ingredients for a quick meal, while Billie is leaning against a counter, nervously fidgeting with her nails. And as the redhead finally joins them, she can't help but notice the guilty expression on the mediums face and how it had been there already when the four of you were in the living room.

,,Is she okay?'' Cordelia asks, noticing Wilhemina's return, her eyes locking with the redheads. ,,Yes, she's asleep'' she states, her eyes wandering towards Billie again.

,,What's wrong with you Howard?'' she questions, noticing the blondes unusual fidgeting and nervousness.

,,Have you also forgotten your medication or do you just need a cigarette?'' she almost mocks, Cordelia giving her a disapproving glance, before Billie chuckles nervously and reaches for a cigarette and lighter out of her handbag, before disappearing to the garden. The other two watching from the kitchen window ,,Something is up'' Cordelia remarks before adding the last ingredients to a pan while Wilhemina nods in agreement, before reaching for some plates and cutlery and placing it on the kitchen table, opting for three, unsure whether you would wake up any time soon.

And while Billie smokes her nervousness away, she can't help but think back to an encounter with you a while ago. How she had assumed that the other two already knew by now but given their lingering concern and Cordelia's discovery today, she worries whether she should have said anything, should have shared what she saw. And despite taking a deep breath, as soon as she returns and takes a seat, she can't help the shaking of her hands or averting their gazes.

While Cordelia serves the food, almost absentmindedly, her thoughts still with you, Wilhemina can't help but feel annoyance towards the mediums behaviour, never usually seeing her high energy girlfriend like this. ,,What is it Billie?'' she asks again, her tone mirroring her annoyance, Cordelia not paying much attention as she sits down and begins taking some bites of the food. ,,It's nothing'' Billie reassures, shakily reaching for her fork and forcing down some food. But Wilhemina couldn't just brush it off, knowing there was something wrong by the way Billie's behaviour shifted as soon as Cordelia filled them in on her discovery and how that same guilty expression had been on the mediums face ever since.

,,Why do you look like you just broke one of your newly manicured nails then?'' Wilhemina jokes, trying to lift the mood a little and hoping the medium might share then. And when Billie stays silent then, dropping her fork and not responding with her usual sarcasm, Cordelia picks it up, her attention now on Billie, equally abandoning her food as she notices the mediums unusual behaviour.

,,Billie darling, what's wrong?'' Cordelia questions, reaching for the mediums hand and placing her warm steady hand on her shaky one.

,,So you don't know then?'' Billie questions, her eyes locking with Cordelia's.

,,Know what honey?'' the supreme asks dumbfounded before Wilhemina joins in.

,,You knew about the medication?'' she questions, almost a little sternly but Billie is quick to shake her head.

,,No, I had no idea about that'' she confesses, only adding to the confusion on her lovers features.

,,What is it then?'' Cordelia asks, anxiously, not understanding what Billie was implying.

And when an uncomfortable silence falls over the quiet kitchen, Cordelia's and Wilhemina's concern grows with each second passing, never knowing Billie to be so quiet, to not share with them. And while the blonde thinks back to her discovery a while ago, she is hurting inside, her heart beating angrily with guilt. It was a quiet day, just you and Billie as the other two worked late, the two of you carelessly strolling through the gardens, Billie clumsily dropping the cigarette she was about to light, when you picked it up for her. A split second of carelessness, you bending down and your sleeve lifting up ever so slightly. But the split second was enough to see the fresh cuts and her mouth opened after taking the cigarette you held to her but then some girls joined you two and she couldn't say anything. And since then she had thought about bringing it up everyday with you, however she never had the chance as the two of you barely got any time with just you two. In fact, she had thought about bringing it up tonight, as the two of you sat so comfortably on the sofa, knowing about your past struggles with mental health and you taking the medication, but then Wilhemina joined and she couldn't ask about it then. She had hoped silently, that the other two already knew, Wilhemina ever perceptive and Cordelia just Cordelia and always knowing and in control of things. However the evening made her realise they had no idea, that she was the only one who had seen you struggling and the thought of not helping sooner killed her, causing for her to sit in silence, Wilhemina's impatience growing by the minute.

,,Spit it out Howard'' Wilhemina tries, pulling the medium away from her thoughts and flashbacks but she remains quiet, growing a little pale.

,,Have you forgotten English?'' Wilhemina pushes, her own anxiety betraying her.

,,I just assumed you knew being the supreme and all and you.. you wear glasses'' Billie finally speaks, pointing at Wilhemina, unsure how to ever say the words lingering on her mind.

,,What do you mean darling?'' Cordelia tries gently, her eyebrows knitting in confusion, not understanding what Billie was implying.

,,You know...'' Billie tries, stopping herself from putting those words in her mouth, the thought too painful.

,,No we don't, what do you mean Billie?'' Wilhemina tries again, softer this time, noticing how much her girlfriend is struggling with this.

And then after taking a deep breath, she finally fills them in ,,Harming herself'' is all she says, Cordelia instantly knowing what Billie means, her eyes closing as the pain of Billie's words sink in, remembering your struggles in the past and the faded scars on your wrist, despite them being barely visible when she had last seen your arms anyway.

However, Wilhemina didn't know as much as Cordelia as you never wanted to burden the redhead with your past, her own way too painful for you to ever be selfish enough to burden her with your pathetic attempts to rid you of the pain you endured. ,,What do you mean?'' she asks a little dumbfounded, not understanding how you could be harming yourself. But as she meets Cordelia's form, seeing how quiet she had gotten, how she never questioned it, how she simply sits there with her eyes closed, tears forming in Billie's vision, she knows and the realisation almost kills her, much more painful than the pain her body gave her on a daily basis due to her scoliosis.

,,Why on earth didn't you say anything?'' Wilhemina argues, now dropping her fork in annoyance as it clanks on the plate. Cordelia's eyes snap open, startled at the sudden noise and her girlfriends raised voice. ,,I assumed you both knew, I'm so sorry'' Billie apologises, the guilt gnawing at her insides. ,,Why would she do this to herself? I don't understand- Cordelia?'' Wilhemina tries reasoning with the blonde, hoping she could make this any less painful.

But Cordelia doesn't say anything, as a wave of concern and anger washes over her, concern for you and also anger at herself of how she didn't pick this up, only now realising how she hand't seen you in short sleeves in ages, how you had often not been in bed at night when she sometimes woke up, how you had often made excuses about meals. How she hadn't really seen you all that much, thinking about it now and how you had seemed so tired and sad and how she never picked it up until now, as if Billie's words only now wake her up and make her see. And so with one swift motion, she almost jumps out of her chair, startling the other two in the process before she sprints upstairs, Billie and Wilhemina looking at each other with both shocked and concerned expressions, before they are quick on their feet and behind their girlfriend.

,,Cordelia.. Cordelia'' Billie tries but it's hopeless as by the time they are both upstairs, the supreme is already by the bed, tugging at your sleeves. You jump from sleep, confusion washing over you as you try to yank your arms away from your girlfriend. ,,What are you doing?'' you ask confused and angry, just having woken from sleep.

,,Show me'' the supreme demands, her voice firm and lacking her usual gentleness. Billie watches in shock, while Wilhemina is already in the bathroom, searching through absolutely everything, trying to find some evidence, knowing you wouldn't show them, at least not like this.

,,Show you what?'' you ask confused, jumping from the bed and holding onto your sleeves, backing away into a corner as Cordelia continues to take steps towards you, her concern lingering on her features.

The blonde sighs in frustration, seeing you back away like this, before Billie takes over, taking gentle steps towards you, wanting to show you she has no intention of checking, no intention of scaring you further. ,,They know honey'' she whispers, tears lingering in her eyes as the realisation suddenly dawns on you.

Moments later, Wilhemina returns with a little makeup bag and you sigh heavily, knowing what she had just found. She holds the bag in her trembling hands, giving it to Cordelia as they pass each other. Inside the supreme finds a pack of razors, some tissue and wipes, shaking her head in disbelief, not understanding how she could have missed this, fighting back her tears as guilt and concern wash over her. ,,Are there any more?'' Wilhemina questions sternly, searching your face, searching your eyes but you remain silent, shivering as you stand in the corner under their gazes.

,,Y/N'' she tries again, banging her cane once in frustration, causing you to flinch. But this time Billie is quick to interject, positioning herself in front of you and stopping the redhead. ,,Wilhemina- enough'' she scolds, pleading with her to notice your state now.

,,No Billie, you do not get to do this'' Wilhemina argues ,,You knew all along'' she counters, causing the guilt to fill the mediums features again.

And then the room fills with silence, as neither of you can find the right words to say. Billie simply standing frozen, facing Wilhemina, still protecting you by hovering in front of you. The redhead holding onto her cane for dear life, the anger very visible on her features. Cordelia having abandoned the bag by now and sitting on a nearby chair as her legs felt like giving out, sighing in frustration as she watches the confrontation between Billie and Wilhemina unfold.

It doesn't take long before the confrontation triggers your anxiety again, causing you to shiver even more, your stomach twisting and churning before you eventually grow pale. Seconds pass until a small gagging noise escapes you, the panic growing in your eyes before you run towards the bathroom, brushing past your girlfriends. Wilhemina sighs, the guilt of this whole encounter weighing heavily on her, Cordelia and Billie sharing knowing glances and sighing in defeat, knowing they could have prevented all of this, by Billie speaking up sooner and Cordelia not addressing this in the way she had earlier this afternoon.

And as you empty the very small contents of your stomach over the toilet, tears stream down your cheeks, not from this whole encounter but more from being sick. You absolutely hated being sick, and so you can't help the hot tears escaping you. With a few deep breaths it's over and you quickly compose yourself, flushing the toilet, before brushing your teeth, wanting to rid all the evidence of what just happened. And as you stare at your pale complexion in the mirror, your brain races with thoughts, thinking what you could do to make all of this go away, to go back into hiding and them not knowing as this was exactly what you wanted to prevent. And so, the only thing your brain can think of in this moment, is make it all disappear, rid you of the scars and cuts so you could lie, go back into hiding and make this all go away.

You begin by closing your eyes after abandoning the toothbrush, rolling up your sleeves and focusing your magic on your wrists. If you were in a clear state of mind, you would know this could never work, especially not on the healed ones, or to begin with. You knew it needed healing potions and swamp mud to even remotely make it go away but your magic could never make them disappear like that. Still, you pathetically try, growing annoyed at yourself as you open your eyes and they are still there. Eventually stumbling backwards and sliding down the side of the bathtub, trying over and over again to make your magic help you out.

Meanwhile the three of them remain frozen, each of them contemplating whether to go in and help you but they knew you prefered to battle everything in silence, including being sick and they all breathe out in relief once the retching stops and the sound of a toothbrush can be heard. However, Cordelia is quick on her feet when her supreme senses alert her of something else. For some reason, Cordelia could quite literally smell your magic. It always lingered in the air whenever you used magic around her, the smell of strawberries. Ever so slightly and ever so subtle and it doesn't take long for her to connect the dots and figure out what you are trying to do. The other two watch in silence and confusion as she bursts through the door, sinking to her feet as she takes in your shivering form. And despite your best attempts to roll your sleeves back down, she had already caught a glimpse of it, knowing you are trying to make all of this go away.

,,Sweetie'' she tries, holding your hands back ,,No, No, No'' she tries to stop you ,,It doesn't work like that sweetie'' she reminds you, taking your sobbing form into her arms. ,,Shh'' she coos as you finally fall apart in her arms. The blonde is quick to sit on the floor, lean on the bathtub herself before pulling you into her chest, you holding onto her shirt for dear life, for some support to guide you through this storm. Billie and Wilhemina watch the scene unfold in confusion, not understanding what you tried to do in the first place, not being able to do much beside watch and frown, seeing their sunshine in so much pain, all the guilt and anger subsiding from their features slowly.

,,You're okay darling, it's all going to be okay'' Cordelia reassures as she holds you closely, grounding you by guiding you through your breathing, her perfume and smell calming you further as you listen to her steady but slightly quickened heartbeat. And so the two of you sit on the cold bathroom floor, neither of you caring about that as of right now. And after a while, your sobs slowly subside, the only sound to be heard your quiet breathing, as you close your eyes and continue holding onto your darling Cordelia. ,,Come on sweetie, let's get you to bed'' she tries gently but your eyes remain closed. With a worried glance, she looks up at Billie and Wilhemina who remained frozen in the exact spot, the medium quick to support Cordelia by helping her lift you up and gently take you to bed. And as you lay there, you still don't move, simply curled up, with your eyes closed before Billie tucks you in.

,,We need to let her rest'' the medium announces as she glares at the other two, getting ready to head to the bathroom to get ready to join you in bed. Wilhemina and Cordelia simply look at each other, a questioning look on the redheads face. ,,She-'' the blonde begins but quickly gives the redhead a signal to follow her. The two of you stand a little away from you before Cordelia explains ,,She tried to get rid of it with her magic'' and Wilhemina simply nods, understanding now what the supreme had sensed before and with a worried glance taking in your exhausted form.

And as the night wears on, the three of them join you in bed, Billie opting for the space next to you as she snuggles into your side, holding you close as she wraps her arms around you. As if she could make it all go away by holding you closely to her. Wilhemina in her usual spot but not able to sleep a wink, so in the end opting for simply sitting comfortable on the bed, a book in her lap, watching over you, Cordelia and Billie sleeping softly while holding you. And her thoughts can't help but trail off, why you hadn't told them, why you hadn't told her specifically, also about the medication. She worries then, that there was something about her that made you not feel safe, whether she was too strict or intimidating with you at times, despite a little voice reminding her that you hadn't shared with the other two either and that after all she managed to calm you before when panic was rippling through you.

It's about 3am when you wake, the only noises being heard the occasional car outside, the moon illuminating the coven and your bedroom, however another light source coming from another side of the bedroom, assuming it must be Wilhemina's nightlight. And then you hear a quiet noise, the sound of a book page flipping and you can't help but turn, being able to feel both Billie and Cordelia beside you but not your Mina. And as expected, she sits there, reading glasses on her face, her hair down which was a rare occasion, a lilac nightgown keeping her warm and comfortable. And it both made you sad and content, knowing she was awake because of you but also appreciating not being fully alone. You consider turning around again, hoping the soft arms of your girlfriends would coax you back to sleep but also knowing there was no way your racing thoughts would allow that.

And for some reason, the previous evening caused those all too familiar thoughts back, you felt guilty wanting to punish yourself, you felt pain wanting to make it go away, you felt fear hoping the blade could rid you of those. But you know they wouldn't have kept your things anywhere close to you and you also knew with Wilhemina awake she wouldn't let you brush past her, especially not now. And so the only thing you can do is cry, ever so quietly, trying to contain the sobs and simply letting the tears flow. But Wilhemina notices, despite your back faced to her right beside her. Cordelia and Billie beside you on the other side of the bed. She notices how your breathing was a little different and when the first sobs wrecks through you, she is quick to abandon her book on her night table, her hand reaching for your shoulder in an attempt to turn you around.

Shivering into her touch, you pretend you can't feel it, pretend you aren't crying and sobbing but it's useless as her hand taps your shoulder again, begging you to turn around. And when you do, her face crumbles seeing you in so much pain and wanting nothing more than to hold you, to comfort you, to fix all of this, to make her little one happy again. ,,Little one'' she whispers, her face filled with concern. ,,Come here'' she offers, moving her legs a little so you can get comfortable on her lap. You don't even hesitate, moving closer to her, settling on her lap, checking her expression whether it hurt her back. And for a while she holds you, her hand rubbing soothing circles on your back, helping you through each sob, wiping your tears in between with her thumbs, trying to make all of this go away.

It takes a while, but you settle in the end, finding your breathing as the sobs had stopped, as your Mina had wiped most of your tears, only leaving your damp cheeks. ,,Little one?'' she tries, softly, causing you to look up and meet her eyes. ,,Are you alright?'' she asks, unsure what to say at this moment as you really hadn't said all that much to them yet, and it worried her. ,,Hmm'' you simply nod, unsure what to say, your tired eyes locking with her worried ones. Silence follows before you feel her fingertips travel from your back towards your arm, beginning at the top before ghosting over your hoodie and stopping by your wrists. ,,Can I see, little one?'' she tries, her eyes still locked with yours. But you flinch, not really caring about Billie or Cordelia seeing them now but Mina, you simply couldn't.

And so, you shake your head no, feeling terrible as she was so kind, gentle and loving right now but you couldn't, not with her. ,,Why?'' she questions, not sternly or angrily but curiously, wanting to know why you couldn't let her see. ,,I can't Mina, not with you'' you whisper before doubt fills her features. Her earlier concerns and voices returning, telling her you had no trust in her and you can tell, by the way her eyes avert yours and how her expression turns into a pained one. ,,I can't show you because I feel terrible'' you admit, tears lingering in your eyes again. Her eyebrow furrows in confusion, before she looks at you again with a questioning look. ,,Why little one?'' she tries, brushing a strand of hair from your face.

,,Because.. you have to go through so much pain Mina'' you whisper, the truth spilling out of you a little bit. ,,Everyday and I'm so stupid for doing this to myself, I'm sorry'' you confess, biting your lip anxiously as more tears pour from your eyes. Once the realisation hits her, her face scrunches up in pain, all the doubts and self consciousness leaving her, unable to believe that despite all the pain you had been going through, her still your main concern and caring more about her feelings and pain than your own. ,,Little one'' she tries, her eyebrows knitted in concern, her eyes filled with heartache. ,,This is not the same'' she begins ,,You are hurting and that's just as valid my darling'' she reminds you. You falter then, glancing at your wrist as she gently lifts your sleeves, her eyes landing on the healed and cuts from a few days ago.

It brings tears to her eyes but Wilhemina knows how to fight them back, knowing she needed to be there for you now. But she hated it, the thought of you so sad to do this to yourself. ,,I'm sorry that we didn't see this little one, I'm sorry we didn't help'' she apologises, gently pulling your sleeves back down, to make you feel less exposed, internally grateful that you showed her, her heart swelling a little at your honesty with her in this moment. ,,You aren't mad?'' you whisper, a little anxiously but seeing no shame, no disgust in her features. ,,No little one'' she reassures, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. And somehow she makes you feel so safe and loved that you feel confident enough to confide in her in this moment, the truth about the past few months and weeks spilling out of you.

,,I stopped taking my medicine a few months ago'' you admit, meeting her eyes as she listens contently, her expression remaining calm, loving and understanding. ,,I thought that- that maybe I didn't need it anymore'' you admit before adding ,,I don't know what I was thinking'' and Wilhemina understands all too well, herself having tried some experiments with her medication in the past before. ,,And honestly I was better Mina'' you begin nodding your head to make your statement more believable. ,,But the last few weeks have been awful'' you admit to yourself more than herself really. ,,It all came back badly and I didn't know what to do'' you finally admit, all the truth finally out there. And Wilhemina simply looks at you, feeling content after understanding your reasoning, not for a second mad or upset with you as she understood all too well.

,,It's okay, come here'' she coos as she watches your face fall apart again, knowing this must have been a lot to admit to her, and so she simply holds you again, getting you both comfortable as she lays you down and holds you tightly on her chest. ,,It's okay little one, it's all okay now'' she coos. Wilhemina tries her hardest to coax you back to sleep and despite it taking a while for the sobs to stop, your breathing to get slower and sleep to eventually welcome you, she holds you through it all. And once you are finally asleep, she sighs, not in frustration, never in frustration but in pain, wishing she could help fix this, wishing this never happened in the first place.

And when morning arrives, Cordelia wakes first, finding Billie still asleep next to her, however she wasn't holding you anymore and she gets scared then, quickly turning around, only to see you cozily asleep on Wilhemina's chest, the redhead watching over you protectively, getting some sleep but waking as the first cracks of light flooded their bedroom. She exhales, the panic leaving her features, before a soft content smile spreads across her features. ,,You okay honey?'' Cordelia mouths and Wilhemina meets her eyes then, knowing she would have to fill the supreme in on this eventually but for now simply nodding and forcing a smile. Cordelia notices the way your fist was gripping onto Wilhemina's nightgown despite being asleep and how your sleeve was exposed ever so slightly. The blonde isn't sure what to do and so she simply does what her heart tells her to, move a little closer and snuggle up to Wilhemina, one arm protectively around you as she seeks in the warmth of her two lovers.

Eventually, you wake as well, opening your eyes only to feel that you are still in Wilhemina's lap, Cordelia and the redhead smiling at you as they notice you waking. ,,Good morning sweetie'' the blonde greets you with a warm smile, Wilhemina's features matching the supreme's softness. Remembering the previous night, you can't help but wonder what Cordelia already knew, what Wilhemina may have already shared with her and they can tell by your expression before the blonde cups your cheeks, brushing over them softly with her thumbs. ,,Sweetie it's okay, I understand now'' she explains and Wilhemina's face grows a little anxious, hoping you wouldn't be upset with her but your face is filled with relief, grateful that you wouldn't have to tell them again as last night had drained you enough. ,,I'm sorry'' you whisper guiltily, tugging at your sleeves a little nervously. ,,Sweetie'' Cordelia tries softly ,,You have nothing to be sorry for'' she reassures.

Meanwhile, Billie finally wakes, having heard muffled and whispered conversation, only really picking up the last parts of it. ,,Good Morning Howard'' Wilhemina greets her, noticing her rolling over and moving closer to the three of you. ,,Morning'' Billie mumbles, still a little sleepily smiling at seeing you three so closely. ,,Someone going to fill me in?'' she asks as she presses a kiss to your cheek. Glancing up at Cordelia, she gives you a reassuring smile. ,,How about we do that over some breakfast sweetie?'' she asks, as you stare at her a little anxiously but seeing both Wilhemina and her comforting and reassuring glances you can't help but nod, knowing Billie equally deserved to be filled in.

And somehow today felt a little more manageable, knowing todays conversations would be unpleasant and painful but also knowing you wouldn't have to hide it all, being able to just be yourself in front of them again, which you hadn't been in the longest time. And in their embraces all you can feel is safety as of right now, as Billie scoots a little closer, also wanting to feel her little babydoll close.

[samwinchesterswifu]

Desperado (Dean Winchester x Reader)

Requested: No

Bunker is mentioned...so around season 10 ish?

Song Inspo: "Desperado" by The Eagles

Warnings: Dean..UGH

MINORS DNI

A/N: I uh, I dunno how much I really like this one, but lmk if you do

<3

Word Count: 600

Summary: The master of breaking hearts.

The rain peddles hard above her as she walks quietly by herself against the streets of some random town. She had gotten into an argument with Dean in the car when he suddenly pulled in next to a gas station and told her to get out. She reluctantly did grabbing her bag from the trunk. Watching him speed off into the night. Her heart broke into pieces watching the headlights of the Impala disappear. She was somewhere in Kansas, but to far from the bunker. She’d much rather take the time to herself to walk then to steal another car.

Tears swell up in her eyes thinking about the argument that broke out.

She was making fun of Dean as his hand laid of her thigh. He only did this when he needed comfort. The two of them weren’t official, but they had messed around a few times in the bedroom, and her heart grew fonder of him every day.

“I love you,” She blurts out looking at him deeply. Barely able to see his face, just a shimmer of his side profile as they passed under street lights.

The air between them reminded silent for a few moments before a groan was heard from Dean and he took away his hand where it had rested.

“We’ve had this talk.” Dean says through gritted teeth.

“But-“ She tries to get a word in before Dean’s pulling over.

He was never one for love. Or so that what he lead her to believe. She knew deep down that he wanted to love someone, and wanted them to stay, and she was more than willing to be that person for him.

A crash of thunder is heard above her as the rain began to pour. She was already soaked, pulling her jacket tightly to her body to try to keep her body heat trapped in some form. She wondered if she would make it to a motel soon.

Suddenly behind her she heard the familiar roar of the Impala. Taking a brief peak behind her, Dean had stopped the car and gotten out. She felt the need to keep on walking, she was to angry at him. But, rough hands grabbed the back of her arm, forcibly turning her around. He was silently for a few moments. His eyes roaming all over her body in an attempt to make sure she was okay.

“I’m sorry,” Dean says over the thunder.

“This job is just so difficult for me to fully allow myself to love someone. I have tried and tried to get myself to stop loving you, but I cant Y/N,” Dean sighs deeply.

“I love you too,” he whispers quietly. She heard him, but thunder crashed right at the same time. She grins.

“What was that?” She says loudly.

“I love you.” Dean practically yells. Making the grin on her face turn into a smile.

“I thought so,” she says, pulling on the mans collar and crashes her lips against his.

They two of them stand there in the rain, and Dean pushes into the kiss deeper. His hands travel up her soaked shirt, playing against the bra straps. He breaks the kiss for a moment, taking a look at the Impala’s back door, and then back to her. She knew what he meant. Nodding, the two of them reunite their lips and Dean leads her to the door. Opening, he gently lays her down the seats. He climbs in with her, closing the door behind him. Preparing to show her any way that she needed that his heart, was true.

[monstermoviedean]

i’ve got a list in my head of moments in spn where i think it would’ve been the perfect moment to bring in a secondary character, and there’s one in particular that i think is just. so, after the rupture, cas meets up with claire. she finds out about jack, she finds out about mary. and yeah idk i just think claire would have a really interesting perspective about it all. about dean. i don’t think she’d be completely on dean’s “side” (i don’t like calling them on diff sides but i think you get what i mean) and yell at cas or guilt him or whatever, nor would i want that(!), but… after all, claire knows what it’s like to care about, to love, people who have hurt her family. 😕

oh this one hurts. this one hurts. you're absolutely right though and my god is this a good fucking take. like. okay so first off this made me realize that jack and claire never met. and while i don't think claire would be like "you stole my dad" (because of course she wouldn't) i think there could be some really really interesting feelings to work through in term of cas having another kid who is dead now, and how hard he's taking it. i think claire would have to initiate this meetup, not cas, because cas is trying to isolate himself and would not want to look at another child he believes he failed.

absolutely 100% agree that there's not really "sides" but i also don't have a better term for it. i think claire would see cas' "side" and could give cas some real comfort, if he was open to it. she knows what it's like to lose people and to feel like you failed. she believes that cas is good, and trying to be better. and she's a living, breathing symbol that not everything he touches goes wrong. i think she could represent healing to cas, and just talking to her could nudge him towards reconciliation.

(side note: i would have liked to see their relationship develop further past season 10. i feel like it was a really promising start and then just. nothing. it felt like once she had jody they were like 'okay she's being parented cas doesn't need to do it anymore!')

i also think claire could easily see and sympathize with dean's "side." her dad abandoned her and her mom was absent from her life for a long time. her mom literally died in her arms. i could see why the pain of losing a parent would resonate with her. i can also see why, if she talked to dean, she would sympathize with feeling abandoned by cas (talking about seasons 4 through 10 here). and last but certainly not least, claire is going through a widow arc of her own. she's still reeling from having lost kaia. while she didn't see dean during his widower arc, jody did, and i'm sure jody mentioned that dean really wasn't doing well. and that might be on claire's mind too - that dean is in serious pain from losing a parent, a child, and a friend who could be something more.

like you said, i don't want claire to yell at or guilt either of them. i'm not sure she would, either. but i think she could sympathize with both of them in a way not many others in their lives could. and i would also like to see her again :)

[winchestersisterimaginessss]

Imagine: The aftermath of your best friend, Charlie’s death and the effects that MoC Dean’s words had on you.

Part 1

Pairings: Sam and Dean x Sister!Reader

A/N: I wanted to go deeper into this and show the different stages of grief/the effects of the trauma/ how deans words would end up effecting the reader… idk how to feel about it ugh so lmk if you like it. Also requests are open!!!! I love all of the ones I’ve been getting and am working on all of them, but keep requesting!

Warnings: violence, language, suicidal thoughts, eating disorder, angst

The days without Charlie were tough. You were grieving your best friend while also feeling like you weren’t allowed to because you got her killed in the first place. It was haunting your every move and you constantly felt sick to your stomach. You were sitting in the library with your brothers when your stomach growled so loud that it filled up the whole room.

“Go eat something.” Dean said without taking his eyes off the computer.

“I’m not hungry,” you mumbled. The truth was that you really weren’t hungry. You had absolutely no appetite and thinking of food made you feel nauseous. Dean rolled his eyes at you and Sam looked at you concerned.

“You’ve gotta eat something bug,” he said softly. He knew you hadn’t been taking care of yourself and it was extremely prevalent. Dean’s words rang through your ears reminding you that you got Charlie killed and it made you feel even more nauseated.

“I’m really not hungry Sam.” You said as your stomach growled even louder. He looked at you sadly before getting up and leaving the room.

He came back in with some crackers on a plate and put them in front of you.

“You’re not leaving this table until you eat something.” He said giving you a sympathetic look.

“But Sam I’m really not hungry,” you said on the verge of tears.

“You’re not taking care of yourself Y/N/N, you need to eat. I’m sorry.” He said, sending you a look.

A tear fell down your cheek. You just felt so sick and you didn’t even feel like you deserved to eat in the first place. You didn’t deserve to do anything. You didn’t deserve to live. Even Dean knew that, he was the one who confirmed it for you. You looked at Sam and he gave you an encouraging nod. You exhaled and picked up a cracker with your shaking hands. You squeezed your eyes shut as more tears fell and put the cracker in your mouth.

You choked back a sob as you chewed it and Sam rubbed your back. You swallowed it and started crying.

“I know sweetheart, I know.” Sam said softly. He talked you through eating the rest of the crackers before he sent you a sad smile.

“Let’s work on eating everyday alright?” He asked and you nodded.

——-

You looked into the bathroom, spotting Charlie in the bathtub. She was stabbed and her blood was everywhere. You let out a gasp and fell to the floor, scrambling over to her.

“NO!” You screamed, grabbing her. You couldn’t believe she was dead. She couldn’t be dead.

“CHARLIE?!?” You cried, trying to shake her awake. She didn’t respond instead she was limp in your arms and you knew.

“NO,” you sobbed, “NO CHARLIE.”

You felt someone shaking you.

“Wake up Y/N!”

“NO CHARLIE! NO! IM SORRY, IM SO SORRY!” You screamed, shooting straight up in your bed. You looked around confused and still sobbing. You were in your room, in your bed. Sam had his hand on your shoulder, sending you a sad look and Dean was in the doorway with his gun raised. Your heart was racing as you recalled your dream.

“It was just a dream Y/N/N, it was just a dream!” Sam said reassuring you and trying to snap you out of it.

“No,” you sobbed, “it was real.” You cried into Sam’s chest.

“Shhhh it’s okay, it’s going to be okay,” he tried comforting you, but it wasn’t okay and it never was going to be. Charlie was really dead and it was all because of you.

——-

Dean’s words continued to haunt you. Weeks had gone by, but you were going to carry the weight of her forever. You knew it should have been you who died instead of her and you also knew how you could make that happen. You weren’t completely suicidal until Dean’s rampage with Death over the mark of Cain.

——-flashback

You showed up to the abandoned bar that Dean sent you to with Sam. He was on a suicide mission and he told you to come say goodbye to him. You ran into the room seeing Dean standing there with Death.

“Wha-“ You started, feeling panic strike over you.

“What is this?” Sam asked frantically.

“We need to talk.” Dean said.

“Whatever you are thinking of doing, don’t.” Sam pleaded. Your heart was pounding.

“Dean, there is another way! You don’t need to go with him and you don’t need to die!” You begged. You couldn’t handle another death and you sure as hell couldn’t handle it being your eldest brother.

“Funny you say that. Truth is when I left, I thought the only way out was my death.” He started. You looked at him confused.

“Well I was wrong kiddo, it’s yours.” He said. “Both of yours.” He finished, looking between you and Sam. You felt like you couldn’t breathe.

“What!” Sam shouted.

Death stood up walking towards the two of you.

“Your brother can’t die and if I whisk him away to where he can’t hurt anyone else, we’re still left with you two.” He said, sighing annoyingly.

“His loyal brother and sister who would do anything to free him from the mark which simply can not happen unless you set the darkness free.” He finished, alluding to if the darkness is set free, it would be worse than imaginable.

“You traded our lives?” Sam asked in shock, walking up to Dean.

“I’m willing to live with this thing forever as long as I know that I and it will never hurt another living thing.” Dean said.

“This isn’t you!” Sam shouted.

“This doesn’t make any sense Dean!” You cried.

He snapped his eyes to you and you felt the anger radiate off of him.

“No this makes perfect sense,” he trailed off and got closer to you.

“If you stopped THINKING ABOUT YOURSELF FOR ONE DAMN MINUTE.” He screamed in your face. You flinched, suddenly terrified as Sam stepped in front of you.

“It’s for the greater good, I’m sure once you consider that then it’ll make all the sense in the world.” Death stated.

“Remember when you were both willing to die for the greater good before?” Dean asked walking circles around the both of you.

“But Dean we all pulled each other back.” You said weakly. You were trying to hang on to the slightest bit of self destruction you didn’t have, but every time Dean spoke it drove you closer to it. It terrified you, it really did. You didn’t want to die, but you knew you didn’t deserve to live.

“And I was wrong, you were right Y/N.” Dean stated coldly.

“Dean!” Sam shouted.

“You both know that this world will be better without us in it.” He said. You felt your last wall crumbling.

“No wait Dean, you’re twisting our words.” Sam pleaded.

“Why? Because we track evil and kill it? The family business?” He sighed. “Look at the tapes, Evil tracks us!” He shouted. You jumped as he spun around to face you.

“And it nukes everything in our vicinity. Our family. Our friends,” he said staring you into the eyes. “It’s time we out a proper name to what we really are and deal with it.” He finished.

“Wait a second Dean,” Sam said. “We are not evil!” He said walking up to Dean. “That thing on your arm is evil.” He motioned to the mark of Cain. “But not you, not Y/N, not me!” He yelled.

“I know what I am Sam.” Dean said. “But who were you when you drove that man to sell his soul?” He asked Sam staring into him before he snapped his attention back to you. “And who were you when you bullied Charlie into getting herself killed?” He asked you. There it was. He knocked down the only wall you had left standing. Truthfully, now you didn’t care if you died, you just wished it would’ve been to bring back Charlie, but if this was how it had to happen right now then you were fine with it.

“That sounds evil right Y/N/N?” He asked you, knowing he cracked you.

“Yeah,” you whimpered.

“No Y/N, don’t listen to him! You’re not evil.” Sam pleaded.

“I have this thing on my arm and you’re both willing to let the darkness into the world!” Dean shouted.

“You were willing to also summon death to make sure you could never do any more harm. You summoned us because you knew that we would do anything to protect you! That’s not evil, Dean.” Sam said. “You’re a good man, crying to be heard. Searching for some other way!” He pleaded. You knew Dean was a good man and he didn’t deserve this. You also knew Sam was a good man too and didn’t deserve to die either. Your brothers were heroes and you knew that. But you? You deserved it. Dean was right about everything he was saying about you.

“There’s no other way Sam. I’m sorry.” Dean replied.

Sam stepped towards Dean and hit him with a blow to the face.

“Good,” Dean said, unwrapping his knuckle, “Good.” He stepped closer to Sam. “Fight.” He said and punched Sam across the face.

“Stop!” You yelled. You didn’t want this to be one of your last memories of your family. They ignored you and continued fighting until Dean knocked Sam down. He was repeatedly punching him in the face over and over again. You ran up to Dean panicked, “Dean please stop! He’s down!” You cried and jumped in front of him to protect Sam. He grabbed you and threw you across the floor before giving Sam another punch.

“Dean!” Sam gasped in pain and shock.

You whimpered in pain and crawled your way back over to them to put yourself back in front of Sam.

“Y/N no! Dean, that’s enough.” Sam groaned, rolling on the floor in pain.

Dean stopped hitting him and looked down on both of you.

Sam wiped blood from his face before looking up at Dean. “You’ll never ever here me say that you— the real you—is anything but good.” He said coughing and spitting out blood.

“But before you hurt anyone else, you have to be stopped at any cost.” Sam said.

“But so do I Dean. I have to be stopped at any cost too. I’m evil just like you said so kill me. Let Sammy live though he deserves to move on from this life just like he’s always wanted.” You cried.

“No Y/N/N what?!” Sam asked frantically. “That doesn’t make any sense!“ He shouted before turning to Dean, “You’re not killing her! She’s still a kid Dean. She deserves a second chance at this life. Let her live, she still has so much to offer the world. She still has so much to live for. She won’t bring you back! With us gone, this is her chance to get out of the hunter’s life.” Sam pleaded. No, you didn’t deserve to live.

“Do it Dean! Kill me right now or I’ll kill myself.” You stated, looking straight into Dean’s eyes.

Dean nodded and grabbed Death’s scythe, “close your eyes kid.” He said softly and you closed them. You heard Sam screaming for Dean to stop.

“Forgive me,” you heard him mumble. A tear slid down your cheek and you heard the scythe stab something. You snapped your eyes open and saw that Dean had hit Death with it. Dean looked shocked and you watched as Death crumbled to dust. You couldn’t comprehend what just happened as you stared ahead in dismay. Before you even had another second to think you felt the ground rumbling and a beam of light shot down onto Dean’s arm. It sounded like electricity as it pulsed through him and then it was gone in an instant. Dean looked at his arm and you saw the mark of Cain disappear from it.

_______end of flashback

Dean was free of his mark and none of you had to die, but you were ready to. The only reason you didn’t kill yourself in that moment was because you figured you could die to bring Charlie back instead. You couldn’t shake the memory of Dean blaming her death on you and telling you that it should have been you instead. You also couldn’t shake the memory of Dean telling you that you were evil and that the world was better off without you in it. He tore down the last wall of strength you had and now you didn’t care to live. You didn’t deserve to. You knew what you had to do and that’s why you were at a crossroads. You were going to sell your soul to bring back Charlie.

“Baby Winchester!” Crowley smirked, “to what do I owe the pleasure?” He asked as he walked towards you.

“My soul to bring back Charlie.” You stated looking dead into Crowley’s eyes. He stared at you in disbelief before bursting out into laughter.

“You know me, I can’t help, but to take up an offer on a soul, but yours?” He scoffed. “I don’t need your brothers up my arse trying to get you out of your deal soooo no deal.” He said and started to walk away.

“No wait Crowley please you don’t understand!” You screamed, feeling helpless.

He turned around to face you, “No actually I do understand, but I don’t need to give Moose and Squirrel another reason to kill me off!” He huffed and turned around to walk away. “Goodbye baby Winchester!” He sung before disappearing.

You fell to the ground in complete despair and started sobbing. You couldn’t take it any longer. You cried for Charlie. You cried for all the people you lost because they got too close to you. You cried because you were evil. You cried because you didn’t deserve to live and you cried for yourself. You mourned who you could have been if you weren’t evil, but you knew what you had to do now. You grabbed your bag and took out the knife. You were good for nothing. You knew so, Dean knew so and it was about time you put a stop to it all. You brought the knife to your wrists before slicing over them. You wanted to feel the pain you deserved to feel before you ended your life. You hissed in pain as you continued to slice your skin. You stared at your bleeding wrists and cried tears of frustration. You were unable to comprehend that this was who you ended up as. You were so distracted with your thoughts and pain that you didn’t hear the roar of the impala. You didn’t know your brothers were running to you until you felt the knife being ripped out of your hand.

“NO!” You screamed, flailing your arms. You had wild eyes as you looked at your brothers and your blood was seeping out of you.

“What are you doing!?” Dean shouted as he threw the knife across the gravel, away from you. Sam brought you into his arms and held you against his chest trying to console your trembling body.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey, shhhhh it’s okay, it’s okay.” He whispered into your ear as you sobbed on the hard gravel. Dean grabbed two rags and made his way back over to you. Sam grabbed both of your elbows to hold out your cut up forearms for Dean. He wrapped both of your arms and held steady pressure on them. He looked into your eyes with complete sadness.

“Hey kid, what’s going on?” He asked softly, not even knowing where to begin with the situation.

“You were right Dean!” You cried. He shot you a confused look before you continued. “I don’t deserve to live. I’m evil!” You choked on your tears. His face fell and he opened his mouth to say something, but you cut him off. “It should have been me who died, not Charlie! De, I tried to bring her back, but Crowley wouldn’t make me a deal!” You sobbed, motioning to the crossroad. Dean’s heart dropped and he felt sick to his stomach. “I need to die Dean! You said so yourself, but I couldn’t die to bring Charlie back so now I just need to do it myself!” You cried, feeling your veins popping out of your neck. You tried to break out of Sam’s grasp, but he just pulled you closer into his chest. He was terrified of you hurting yourself and he knew only Dean could break through to you so the only thing he could do in the moment was hold you tighter so you couldn’t do something yourself.

“No Y/N/N sweetheart-“ Dean’s voice cracked, thinking about how mentally unwell you were at the loss of Charlie and the words he spoke to you. He clenched his jaw and looked away for a second to collect his emotions before turning back to you.

“You’re NOT evil! The person I was with that thing on my arm made ME evil and I said EVIL THINGS to hurt you.” Dean said firmly. Before he could continue you cut him off, “but you’re right, I got Charlie killed!” You cried and darted your eyes to the ground, afraid to look at your brothers face. It was probably so disappointed and angry.

“Sweetheart I need you to look at me. Can you do that for me please?” He asked gently. You were surprised by his tone and glanced up at him. His facial expression was soft and his eyes were filled with worry. “You did not get Charlie killed. It was not your fault and it will never be your fault. It was the Styne’s. They were what real evil is and you? You’re the furthest thing from it.” He said staring into you. “You’re good kid. You’re so good and you’re so far from evil. You have so much goodness in that heart of yours and it’s what keeps me fighting every single day.” Dean said with tears in his eyes. “You deserve to live and I am so sorry I made you think otherwise. I’ll never forgive myself for that.“ His voice broke as a tear slid down his cheek. Your lip quivered and you leaped into his arms. He embraced you and wrapped his arms around you. He held the back of your head to his chest as you cried.

“I got you, I got you, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Dean whispered as he held you close to him.

It was like you could finally start to forgive yourself for the things that were haunting you since Charlie’s death. Deans reassurance was all you needed to feel like you could finally breathe.

“It’s going to be okay kid, we’ll all get through this together.” He promised.

——-

You were on your phone and stumbled upon one of the funniest videos you think you’ve ever seen. You were dying of laughter when Dean interrupted you.

“What are you laughing at kid?” Dean chuckled.

You looked up at him laughing harder, “this video is so funny!” You said between breaths.

“I have to send it to char-“ You trailed off and your smile faltered. You saw Dean’s face fall slightly and he looked at you concerned. You relaxed your fingers causing your phone to drop slightly in your hands so the screen was facing upwards and you stared blankly ahead. You just couldn’t understand that this was your new reality. You couldn’t send the video to Charlie because she was dead and you were never going to see her ever again. You blinked slowly a few times before bursting into uncontrollable tears. Dean immediately rushed over to you.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey, it’s alright kid.“ Dean said, taking you into his arms as you sobbed.

“I just miss her so much,” you whimpered into Dean’s chest.

“I know you do, I know.” He whispered, rubbing your back. He continued to hold you until your cries calmed down.

“Well, you can show me the video.” He suggested lightly, trying to get your spirits back up and trying to fill in Charlie’s absent role for you.

You wiped your tears and pulled your phone back out. You got the video up and showed it to Dean. He burst out laughing and clapped his hands.

“Yeah she would have thought that was pretty funny,” he chuckled and you laughed through your tears.

“Yeahhhh.” You said softly, thinking about her. He sent you a sad smile and put his arm around you.

“You’ll see her again some day, trust me.” He said, giving you a squeeze. “Not any time soon, I’ll make sure of that, but you’ll see her again kid.” He finished and planted a kiss on the side of your head.