#but I am sort of rereading it again as I annotate it so I can highlight even more lol

[givemebishies]

I’ve never annotated a book before and ABM is one of the first books I’ve been obsessed with in a very long time so I thought I’d give annotation a try with it 🪽🌹🕊️🍷

Also I’m using a tail feather my little birdie just lost today as my bookmark and I wanted everyone to see what a good job she did with making it :> 🦜

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

Books of 2024: September Wrap-Up.

Delighted to report I am VERY far behind on my NaNo prep reading goals, and now September is gone (oops). However! This month I did manage to carve nine (9) pages out of a behemoth scene, write a newsletter article for the nonprofit I volunteer at, and alpha/hype read a friend's manuscript, so I still had a fairly wordy month (I say, as if all of my months are not Wordy™).

Photos/reviews linked below:

THE HAUNTED BOOKSTORE, Vol. 1 & 2 - ★★★½ These were cute! I liked them enough that I went ahead and ordered the next two volumes, and I'm glad I did--turns out there are only four manga in the series, so I'll have the whole thing :) I plan on returning to these after November/as part of Driscoll prep again, because they match the vibe I'm trying to channel really well.

CITY OF SAINTS AND MADMEN - ★★★½ (rating subject to change upon series completion) So on my shelf, this book doesn't LOOK like a brick, but it's 704 pages (according to Goodreads, because the pages in the back half of the book are not numbered sequentially lmaooo). It's told in several novellas strung together and then An Appendix full of all sorts of (sneakily?) relevant bits and pieces--fascinating anthology of a book, very meta-textual. It grew on me! If you can get through the first story, it's worth sticking with, and the whole series is turning into a puzzle box. And speaking of...

SHRIEK: AN AFTERWORD - 135/451 pages read; will report back later. I definitely had to dual wield CITY and SHRIEK last night to compare passages that are, in fact, duplicated across books, and I feel like the calculus meme about it. This one is structured interestingly, too: It's written by a sister (first person) about her brother, but the brother is annotating her manuscript in his own first person (in parentheticals wedged into or tacked onto paragraphs, also first person). I'm very excited to finish this, and equally excited to see what's going on with FINCH after that, so. Back to reading I go!!

Under the Cut: A Note About ~*★Stars★*~

Historically, I have been Very Bad™ about assigning things Star Ratings, because it's so Vibes Heavy for me and therefore Contingent Upon my Whims. I am refining this as I figure out my wrap up posts (epiphany of last month: I don't like that stars are Odd, because that makes three the midpoint and things are rarely so truly mid for me)(I have hacked my way around this with a ½). Here is, generally, how I conceptualize stars:

★ - This was Bad. I would actively recommend that you do NOT read this one, no redeeming qualities whatsoever, not worth the slog. Save Yourself, It's Too Late For Me. Book goes in the garbage (donate bin).

★★ - This was Not Good. I would not recommend it, but it wasn't a total waste or wash--something in here held my interest/kept my attention/sparked some joy. I will not be rereading this ever. Save Yourself (Or Join Me In Suffering, That Seems Like A Cool Bonding Activity).

★★★ - This was Good/Fine/Okay/Meh. I don't care about this enough to recommend it one way or another. Perfectly serviceable book, held my interest, I probably enjoyed myself (or at least didn't actively loathe the reading). I don't have especially strong feelings. You probably don't need to save yourself from this one--if it sounds like your jam, give it a shot! Just didn't resonate with me particularly powerfully. I probably won't reread this unless I'm after something in particular.

★★★½ - I liked this! I'll probably recommend it if I know it matches someone's vibes or specific requests, but I didn't commit to a star rating on Goodreads. More likely to reread, but not guaranteed.

★★★★ - I really enjoyed this!! I would recommend it (sometimes with caveats about content warnings or such--I tend to like weird fucked up funny shit, and I don't have many hard readerly NO's). Not a perfect book for me by any means, but Very Good. This is something I would reread! Join me!!

★★★★★ - I LOVED THE SHIT OUT OF THIS, IT REWIRED MY BRAIN, WILL RECOMMEND TO ANYONE AND EVERYONE AT THE SLIGHTEST PROVOCATION (content warning caveats still apply--see 4-star disclaimer). Excellent book, I'll reread it regularly, I'll buy copies for all my friends, I'll try to convince all of Booklr to read it, PLEASE join me!!

[swamp-world]

Aaaaa thanks @void-and-virtue for tagging me!! Also I am so sorry I have just vanished off the face of the earth, but consider this a general update and “I’m alive” too. Also it gives me a chance to babble about so very many things!!! And I will do so at length!!!

Currently reading: an incomplete list of what I am reading and cycling my way through at the moment.

1.      Rereading The Queen’s Thief series for some levity and joy in my life; I’m currently midway through Thick as Thieves again and am loving it as ever, 10/10 would recommend to anyone who hasn’t read it. Also my partner studies classics and so I get to go and harass them with this book series and ask about how it reflects elements of actual Hellenistic life (I know MWT wasn’t going by any means for a one-to-one but I really really enjoy getting to learn what a lot of the probable inspirations were, and also how the metaphysics of the Geniad reflect neoplatonic philosophy).

2.      The Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler. It’s absolutely brutal and I’ve been going through it slowly because it…is rough. It’s really good, but also wow it’s heavy. Feels very relevant to mention that like…my roommates and I have been having long discussions about the climate crisis, wildfires, and just the approaching Crumbles, and it’s lovely as ever to see a book that actually approaches the community-focused approach to the Crumbles. Not just doomsday libertarian preppers.

3.      In Deeper Waters, actually on your recommendation Kylie! I started reading the book like a year ago and then dropped it, but found the audiobook again, and the audiobook is also narrated by uhhh. Kevin R. Free if I’m remembering right? Who also does the audiobooks for The Murderbot Diaries, which I love with all of my heart. Loving the book, have to be honest that I don’t necessarily love the voice that he does for Athlen, but I love him too much to not listen to this. (Also I just looked it up and apparently he’s the voice actor for Kevin in WTNV?????? Makes sense but AAAAAAA [kronk voice] oh yeah it’s all coming together.)

4.      Tractatus Logico-Philosophiscus by Wittgenstein. Trying it again, finally. But I found the centenary edition by one publisher that lays it out in a tree format of sorts instead of just linearly? Which is apparently how Wittgenstein originally wrote it. This is to say—the edition I’d been reading previously addresses points in an order of like, 2.14; 2.141; 2.15; 2.151; 2.1511; 2.1512; 2.15121; 2.1513 etc. etc. etc. but the tree format addresses all points before addressing subpoints, so it’s 1; 2; 3; 4; […] 2.1; 2.2; 2.11; 2.12; 2.13; 2.14; 2.15; […] which is very very neat and way easier to understand in my humble opinion. (See attached diagram. As you can tell I gave up before even finishing the tree for proposition 2.02123.)

ANYWAYS that’s a lot of words and half an hour of trying to draw this out to say—it’s a piece of logical philosophy which is extremely foundational for 20th c. philosophy in pretty much every way, and it’s also extremely funny to me. A lot of people find it extremely dry but I think that it’s hilarious. And not in a way of like, I’m laughing at Wittgenstein, or that in a lot of ways I don’t think he was writing intending it to be humorous, but I don’t think he’s totally unaware of it. It just feels so cheeky at times. Because the whole thing is written in these expanding propositions which build off of one another, and so the propositions themselves are often very simple and straightforwards. Ex:

2.012    In logic nothing is accidental: if a thing can occur in a state of affairs, the possibility of the state of affairs must be written into the thing itself.

2.0121 It would seem to be a sort of accident, if it turned out that a situation would fit a thing that could already exist entirely on its own.

And that’s just hilarious to me! That part of proposition 2.0121 I’ve just annotated with “cheeky” because I find it very funny. I’ve tried reading this twice now (each time on a plane) and I finally sat down to review my notes from the first two sections, so now I can finally get into the meat of it for propositions 3-6.

What I love about the Tractatus is that a lot of people will cite the part of “What can be said at all can be said clearly and what we cannot talk about we must pass over in silence” but treat that like it’s the only and final conclusion of the Tractatus, because it’s really more like “Look! I did it! I solved all of philosophy, and it’s done nothing!”

Wittgenstein is absolutely on the list of Top 10 Saddest Men Of All Time and he’s a bastard and a motherfucker and I love him. He’s hilarious.

5.      Mengele: Unmasking the “Angel of Death” by David G. Marwell. This one is also very heavy and extremely depressing.

6.      Silver Under Nightfall by Rin Chupeco. I’m kinda on the fence about this one, I don’t want to DNF it but it’s a bit too heavy on the horny romance for me and not enough on the geopolitical vampire plot (personal preference). But I had been enjoying it for a bit, wouldn’t not recommend I guess

7.      Gay Bar: Why We Went Out by Jeremy Atherton, which is about the history and disappearance of gay bars and physical spaces for queer community. This one hits hard personally, right now my city only has one designated “gay club” though there are a lot of other queer places in a less official way. There used to be so many and it breaks my heart, and reading this has been equally heartbreaking and wonderful.

8.      Not a book but it’s making up the majority of my reading right now so I’m putting it on here because I need to babble about it that I’ve been catching up on a lot of school readings to try to turn in some late assignments from the last (checks watch) two years, so there’s been a lot of essays by Hannah Arendt, Walter Benjamin, a bit of Heidegger, and a lot of critiques of Heidegger—I’m currently rereading the part of Being and Time on Being-toward-death and Mitsein, and then following it up with sections of critique by Luce Irigaray from The Forgetting of Air in Martin Heidegger, and then the chapter “With Being-With?” from Being Singular Plural by Jean-Luc Nancy (and then after that, Simon Critchley wrote some notes on that, and I’m really looking forwards to reading that too); and also then “On The Coloniality of Being” by Nelson Maldonado-Torres, and then after that Aporias by Derrida, who I’ve also been reading a lot of for classes.

ANYWAYS.

Favourite Colour: You know when there’s a massive storm with really dark clouds, and it then passes, but the clouds are directly across from the sun, and so they’re being illuminated in front of you from the sun behind you, and then you have fresh green trees against the clouds? It’s the color in between the clouds and the trees, at the edges, because they look so golden. (Vital note: I do not wear my glasses as often as I should.)

Last Song: The Man With X-Ray Eyes by Bauhaus. Absolutely adore this album, it’s so so so goofy and I get this song stuck in my head all the time. Next time there’s a karaoke night I’m doing either this or Of Lilies and Remains because “Peter has fallen to the old cold stone floor wheezing and emitting a seemingly endless flow of ectoplasmic white goo from ears and mouth” is just so goofy and great to throw people off-guard. Please please please go listen to this whole album I love it.

Last Show: Baccano! Incredibly fun, 10/10, need to go and rewatch to get the plot straight in my head because of all of the time jumps. Also, outstanding jazz soundtrack. Love it so much. The best kind of bullshit.  

Currently Watching: My partner got me watching The Owl House finally and I love it with all of my heart. Eda owns my soul. Hooty is great. Luz is my absolute beloved. I cried seeing on-screen queerness in this kid’s cartoon. Also Eda reminds me of my favourite professor. Identical energy, both absolutely deranged.

Last Movie: oh god. Uh. Literally the only thing coming to mind is Godspeed You! Black Emperor, which is a 1976 Japanese documentary about motorcycle clubs/gangs/movements in Japan in the ‘70s. A very uncomfortable watch, because it’s just…it’s very interesting, but watching bōsōzoku with fascist symbols plastered on their bikes, helmets, clothing, and skin, and their interactions with the cops and legal system, and the one kid’s interactions with his parents? It’s brutal. I know I’ve definitely watched other films since then but for some reason this is literally the only thing coming to mind.

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: Sour and/or salty. It can be sweet or spicy or savory but the important thing is that it’s either sour or salty.

Currently working on: One (1) extremely self-indulgent angst fic that I started ages ago, long-term WIP for when I’m feeling sad. A pile of papers for classes but one for fun on the digital location of (sub)culture and dark academia (in which the only real physical location for “dark academia” to exist is the academy, which is a fundamentally hostile environment that just sublates what “dark academia” considers itself to be); an essay on Benjamin’s Language as Such and the Language of Man and Arendt’s discussion of the inarticulate cry, both in relation to klezmer ornamentation as pure expression of language and/or grief; a piece that I might submit to a music zine about how Bowie’s song TVC-15 uses the stylings of surf rock in ways that create ambivalence about whether he’s singing about a bad trip and a TV (which he is), or a car that he loves deeply (maybe). Also the long-standing thing I’ve been writing about locutions of love, still an ongoing project. A history of my university, maybe? The line between projects for fun and projects for work have gotten a bit blurred.

Current obsession: beating the old Mortal Kombat arcade terminal at the punk bar down the way. It used to cost a quarter per game but now it’s a dollar so I’m very determined to get way way way better at it because otherwise it’s too expensive to play.

 Tagging mutuals: Kylie I think you got most people I know but uhhhh. @uppercase-disgrace @edgy-contrarian dragging y’all into this??? anyone else who wants to!

[mangoslixes]

Hello, Rey ✨️ Have you read any book this year that made you go "I need to reread this"?

(And I hope you're taking care of yourself during this finals season!)

Hi Cath! Oh definitely yes, a lot of them in fact.

Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones: it was so chaotic but also so soft at the same time. It was a buddy read with @appleinducedsleep at the very start of this year and it was one of the funniest books I read. It's a new comfort book so I'll seek it out again definitely. Cannot imagine not seeking out disastrous, dramatic howl and sophie "throwing weedkiller in the face of feelings" hatter.

Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia: this one had my favourite horror trope, and I always seem out this specific trope, so will definitely end up picking it up again if I need to go through all the rage and catharsis again.

Funny Weather by Olivia Laing: it's a good collection of essays that I stumbled upon and honestly I find myself going back to the Ali Smith, A stitch in time and David Bowie ones a lot.

Meet me at the Museum by Anne Youngson: I haven't finished this one as of yet (almost near the end), but it's immediately so full of tenderness, so full of love, of memories and of ghosts of people they love through letters, that I just know I'll end up re-reading it in the near future.

Piranesi by Susanna Clarke: this is one of the more bittersweet reads of this year. It's something I would end up re-reading on a gloomy night.

One Last Stop by Casey Mcquiston: I've already picked this up again once, and I have plans on taking this with me everywhere next month. Such a soft sapphic book with so many characters I love and see myself in, it's another add on to my comfort books list. I'm so glad I picked this up this year.

Kitchen by Banana Yoshimoto: okay so, this one is more of a cheat. This was not a new book this year, but I did end up buying the physical copy and reading it and annotating it, so yes, it sort of counts. It's comforting, it reminds me to be nicer to myself and that things will end up okay.

These are all I can remember so far, but still a longer list than I expected :')

also I am trying to survive, my university is hell bent on destroying me, but isn't that just all of us ;-; I hope you're well my love! Enjoy your break, I'll be there for our buddy read as soon as I can <3

[batcxves]

Reputation

a battinson pic, fem!reader, reader insert, riddler is conspiring against reader, reader has a budding relationship with b. wayne, as well as an established business-ish relationship with the batman, ongoing/not finished.

synopsis: A doctor of criminology, Y/N has been secretly conspiring with the masked vigilante of Gotham, the Batman. Despite her secret, she has rose to a sort of fame within the police department, and at a banquet honoring her success, she is shot. Bruce Wayne rescues her, and fights an ever-growing attachment to her. Meanwhile, she conspires with the Batman to catch the perpetrator that is targeting her. As tensions rise and she discovers that the shooter is much more dangerous than she previously believed him to be, she fights internal battles of complicated feelings towards the two banes of her existence: Bruce Wayne, and the Batman.

content warnings for this chapter: cliffhanger LOL

a/n: I am kind of publishing a little bit faster than I can write lol and I am so, so sorry but I think I’ll have to slow the roll of publications a little bit !!! I've been publishing a chapter every day or so so far, but apparently my chapters are longer than I thought and I haven't written as much as I believed I had. enjoy, xoxo

. . .

CHAPTER FIVE -

She had spent the next full week slipping in and out of dreams of him. She refused to get out of bed, refused to take any calls, and tried to fight off sleep as best she could to avoid seeing him when she drifted off. Each night, she saw the Bat Signal shining in the distancing, and knowing that he was calling for her, she would roll onto her other side, pull the covers over her head, and cry softly into her pillow. Her flat was littered with water bottles that she drank, and then threw onto the floor, heart too heavy to be able to stand up and throw it away.

Luckily, since she had just recently been shot, she was not expected to make any public appearances or meet with anyone. As far as anyone knew, she was on leave to heal from her injuries. The truth, however, was much more shocking than anyone could ever anticipate. She knew, deep down, that her bed-ridden state was completely overdramatic, but she didn’t want the Bat to see her, at all. And because he kept regular tabs on her whereabouts, that meant not leaving her house, at all. Where she went, he went, too, and so, she went nowhere. She spent her time in bed, rewatching the television recording of the banquet over and over again, analyzing every movement in the background, every unfamiliar and familiar face that one could see in the recording, and taking notes on all of her findings, of course. For a moment, she wondered if she should skip town, leave all of her dark times in Gotham behind her. Albeit tempting, she knew what was holding her back. Two things, for that matter.

Bruce Wayne. And the Bat.

Opening her eyes so that visions of the pair of them didn’t dance across the inside of her eyelids, she flipped through the journal of notes upon her lap, rereading every annotation for the umpteenth time now. A sudden knock on her door startled her, and she jumped, but did not reply or even move to look through the peephole. This was not the first time a knock on the door had rung out through her apartment; she had had multiple visitors over the week. She didn’t know if it was one person, or multiple, but she didn’t care. She wasn’t taking visitors, nor was she taking clients, nor was she accepting visits from business partners.

The sun was shining through the crack in her curtains, so she knew there was no way that it would be him. Wishful thinking, perhaps, told her that he was still keeping a close eye on her, despite her attempts at avoiding his presence. She heard a rattling at her door, an attempt at turning the doorknob, perhaps. She had all three locks secured on her door: knob, deadbolt, and chain. No one was coming in unannounced, she made sure of that. After a moment, a thump erupted in her entryway. No postmaster delivered mail directly through the slot in the door; it was all given directly to the doorman in the lobby. She waited for a solid five minutes to make sure that she was alone once again, heart pounding. Could it have been Bruce? Her mind was running rampant with possibilities, and suddenly, she found herself unable to wait another second. The sunlight in her kitchen hurt her eyes, and before all else, she drew the blinds to return to the comfortable solitude of darkness that she had taken refuge in in her bedroom. Finally turning her attention to the entryway, a manilla folder lay on the floor, fastened shut. It was rather thick, and when she picked it up, it was heavy, and definitely full of something.

Sitting down at her table, she hesitantly unfastened the opening, and the flap sprung up due to the fact that the folder was so full of contents. The underside of the flaps presented a symbol to her, an unrecognizable one at that. In red ink, a question mark with four tallies on each side of it—top, bottom, left and right. As she reached inside, a piece of paper was the first thing that she felt. She pulled it out, heart beating intensely.

To whom that calls oneself justice, but turns a blind eye,

What is more important than life to those who lie?

Your dear friend,

The Riddler

With shaking hands, she dumped out the contents of the folder, feeling nauseous as hundreds of images of her working alongside the Batman tumbled onto her tabletop and flitted carelessly onto the floor.

“No,” Her voice wavered, heart beating so quickly that she thought she would pass out. “Please,” She was stuttering now, stammering out pleadings of mercy, which turned to incoherent ramblings before they could come off of her tongue.

As the last image floated out of the folder and onto the tabletop, her heart seemed to stop beating altogether. Placing a trembling hand upon the image before her, she wrapped her fingers around it, bringing it level to her face. Her hands upon the Batman’s chest, the image depicted something more horrific than her being shot. It was then, as she studied the picture of her and the Bat in the dark of the street the night previous, lips interlocked, that she realized the answer to the riddle.

Reputation.

[olivinesea]

Oooh fun! Okay, do you have any headcannons or thoughts on a dyslexic Hotch? I feel like I never see dyslexia with any characters really, and I like the idea of him with it. And if you do and you want to write something about it, a dyslexic Hotch with the team (and them being the supportive and protective family they are?) Thank you! ❤️

I hope you have fun, wherever/whatever you’re doing!!

I love this so much!! Thank you :) okay I don’t have much personal experience with dyslexia so hopefully I get this decently accurate. The biggest thing that surprised me when I was doing a quick search is that it isn’t actually a matter of reading words or letters backwards? It’s more an inability to connect letters to the appropriate sounds or to break words up into component parts; a general phonological awareness struggle.

So, as with many things, it seems to me to be a matter of slowing down, learning at your own pace. This ties in nicely with so many of my other Hotch thoughts, I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of it before. Idk what this is, it’s neither headcanon nor proper story but hopefully it’s something like what you were looking for:

When he’s a kid he gets called a slow learner due to his undiagnosed dyslexia. It was much less common to get that kind of diagnosis back then in general and I am sure his dad would have hated the idea of his son needing any kind of extra help. So he’s slow to speak, slow to learn how to read, has difficulty with numbers, absolutely hates being called on to read out loud because it’s actual torture and the other kids have no hesitation about laughing at him. So he becomes withdrawn, labeled a “bad kid,” stops trying because, fuck it, he never gets any kind of support, who cares right? It’s always a fight at home, he starts hiding his work, lying about his grades. This works for awhile bc his parents are distracted by other things. His problems are much bigger than grades by the time they do notice.

However, while he hates school and the way people talk about him and his struggles, like he isn’t even there, he discovers that he doesn’t hate learning. There’s a small library in town where he found he could hide out, no one bothering him for hours if he just sat still for with a book open. He was good at sitting still, at being invisible. But eventually a librarian notices that he’s always got the same book open, some sort of technical manual, that he is rarely turning the pages. She asks him if he likes what he’s reading. He’s just alarmed to be spoken to, afraid that being noticed means he will soon no longer have this sanctuary. He nods and tries to bluff his way through but it’s obvious he hasn’t read it, despite having looked at it for weeks straight. The librarian doesn’t say anything outright, just lets him be for now.

Next time she sees him she brings him a different book, a collection of Grimms fairy tales. He wants to complain that it’s for little kids but is too nervous to refuse it. She asks if she can read him her favorite story from it. It’s dark and twisted and fantastical and he can’t help but be drawn in by it. He’s sad when she’s done reading, wants to hear it again, to capture all the details to replay to himself later. She shows him where it starts, encourages him to read it himself. He doesn’t look at her bc he doesn’t want her to see how upset he is by that, already frustrated by the anticipation that he won’t be able to get through it. But she stays with him, helping him where he gets stuck, asking him questions about the story, making sure it’s making sense to him.

They slowly work their way through the whole collection over the course of months. They spend days on each story, repeating it until he’s confident, she never makes him feel like he’s taking too long or wasting her time. Sometimes has to reread a section multiple times, gets hung up on the language rather than the story but it’s okay, she gives him a notebook to copy down parts that spin too loudly in his mind, saving them and also releasing him from their hold so he can move forward. She lets him keep the book, tells him it was too old to stay in circulation anyway, they had a new copy on order already. She’s the first person who was patient with him, that showed him he could do it, he just needed a little more time, a little more practice than other kids.

In college this is part of why he spends so much time at the library. Part of it is his natural inclination to overwork himself, push until he’s given more than he can in hopes that it might be almost enough. He knows he’s never been enough, why would that change just because he’s in a new place? But the other part is he simply needs more time to get through the coursework, to make it through the excessive amounts of reading he’s assigned. Some other students don’t even bother to read but he would never do that, he makes sure that he not only reads every chapter assigned but he reads it again, takes notes, highlights, annotates, does everything in his power to be prepared. Sure he might work himself to the point of exhaustion, to the point where he makes himself sick (though he’ll try to deny that too) but he’s never caught trying to read something while others wait for his answer, the letters and sounds meaningless, slipping away from him faster the more eyes he feels turn towards him, wondering what could be taking so long. No one ever gets the chance to laugh at him for being slow in college, he never allows them to see that side of him.

As an adult, the leader of the BAU, he’s too well respected for anyone to dare laugh at him but he still hates feeling unprepared. This ends up looking like long nights in the office, reviewing case files to the point of memorization, so that he won’t have to read any of it in front of his team. He can if he has to, he’s developed skills over the years, ways to calm the panic that only makes it harder, can fake it well enough that no one would really notice. Until one day, distracted by a migraine and the fallout of some fight with Haley, he gets stuck. He can’t remember something and he tries to read the sentence that has the information but the stupid word just won’t resolve into sounds that make sense and he just stops talking. He’s glaring at the form like it might catch fire. No one says anything for a moment while he tries to refocus, tries to work around echoes of laughter, decades long past but always ready to jump out at him if he lets his guard down, allows a mistake, a tired moment to derail the image of perfect competence that he’s built around himself. Penelope jumps in, finishing the thought, completing the list of traits shared by the victims. He forces himself to smile at her because he really is grateful, it wasn’t her fault. She scrunches her nose at him, dismissing his silent thanks with a toss of her head. It was nothing, everyone needs a little assist now and then.

No one brings it up and he doubles his efforts not to let anyone see. But he’s so tired on the plane coming back from a case, he’s been staring the same forms for an hour at least. He can feel his ears turning red with frustration. There’s really no reason he has to do this now but the fact that his mind is refusing, almost seems to be teasing him, makes him dig in harder. Emily sits down opposite him, pulling the folder away without asking. He’s about to say something sharp, something he’ll regret saying to her when he really means it for himself, but the expression on her face is so odd, smiling with a frown between her eyebrows. It isn’t pity, she respects him far too much, but there is curiosity and something else, something soft.

“Drink with me.” She slides him a glass and they don’t talk, just look out the window, look at the light playing off the ice in their glasses. He doesn’t see the file again until it appears on his desk, every form neatly filled out, the places needing his signature flagged. All but the last spot, where she’s signed his name eerily perfectly, difficult for even him to see that it’s not his own. Just so he knows she can if she wants to. Equal parts offer and threat.

Penelope and Reid start a book club. Derek joins right away. Emily rolls her eyes when she’s invited, muttering something about spending her free time on more work but they know she will join. Rossi flat out refuses to read the books but offers his house for meetings. Hotch hesitates, wanting to say yes but nervous to commit to an activity like that. He loves books, loves to talk about books. He doesn’t love a time limit on books.

The next time they have to drive to a case, Derek puts on a copy of the audiobook. It’s the first time they make it to a destination without any bickering from the backseat. They don’t get through the whole thing but later he finds a copy of the audiobook on his desk, complete with a disc player and headphones.

A different month, Reid tells him about how his mother always used to read him books and somehow finesses an offer to read to Hotch without him even realizing he’s accepted it. So Spencer comes in to Hotch’s office on lunch breaks occasionally and reads to him whatever the book of the month is. He loves it, remembering the first person who read to him, how shocked he’d been to be treated with patience, with understanding and wondering how he got so lucky to be surrounded by people like her, so ready to support him, wanting him there with them rather than off alone, uselessly fighting with himself to prove his self sufficiency over some uncooperative letters.

Okay, that was so much more than I was planning on but here we are. I hope you liked it and thank you SO much for the idea. If you ever have any others you want to share I am totally here for it. :)

Send me requests!

[dalleray]

If I hadn't been very good interviewing [Patricia] Highsmith in Aurigeno, there was someone I was downright bad at, and yet it must have been the start of a surprising, singularly charming story: Edwige Feuillère....

I arrive one afternoon at rue de Longchamp in Neuilly. Rather banal building. I get on the elevator, my throat a little tight: I felt her authoritarian. They open the door for me and show me into the living room, I find it a little too pink, a little too sweet. She enters. Not very much makeup on; she wears a funnel neck sweater. Her body no longer has the firmness of my memories. Still, there is the way she carries her head. It's her, but she's an old woman.

Today, I'm sure she saw it all in my eyes in a second. So, she pulled out all the stops. She offers me a seat on a couch and sits next to me, almost thigh to thigh. I move back. She raises her eyebrow and just says: “You are sitting very badly. Lean on the cushions.”

“Sorry, but I can't work like this.” “Okay, I'll take the cushions away.”

And we start. She responds, but very quickly interrupts me and brings her face closer to mine. "Ah, now that I see you with my glasses on… But you have very pretty green eyes," with that voice that makes all screens shudder. I do not know where I am. I pick up the thread as best I can.

“You read my book! You are indeed the first journalist who comes to see me for this book to have read it.”

I stammer. I am getting worse and worse. I bend down to turn on the tape recorder. She lifts my face, touches my hair, on the forehead, to the right. "But you have a strand of white hair. Is it natural or are you doing it on purpose?" There, I feel that I am confused, maybe even that I blush, I flounder, I sink. That’ll teach me to betray that, in her sweater, I couldn't find the one I had placed on a pedestal at all. I'm mad at myself, but at her too. Now she wants me to eat chocolates. And tell me that she is a great reader. As if! I wonder what literature she likes, but I don't feel like digging. I want to go. She goes to get my item of clothing, a black leather jacket and helps me put it on. She runs her hand all the way down my back and says, still her voice, "I love the feel of leather.”

Okay, she's seventy-seven, I'm thirty-three, but she took over and covered me with the ridicule I deserved. Let's run away together.

I was not at the end of my punishment, though. I listen to the tape. I am lamer than lame: I don't raise the right questions, I don't push her to explain, I say totally incongruous things. Nothing to get out of it. Unreliable. And, to make matters worse, she wants to reread before publication. What to do? Meet with close friends to whom I dare not even speak out. Common sense advice, but easy to say: "Try to remember what you wanted to know, what she started to say when she stops and you forget to start her again. Rewrite everything: there will probably not be a word of what's on the tape, but we'll see what she says about it." A whole weekend, for an interview page in Le Monde. And a close reading by my friend Monique Nemer. Questions at last intelligently formulated and answers reconstructed, but perhaps just a bit “off.”

On Monday, the interview is printed. Two hours later, Feuillère on the phone: "My little one, it's absolutely perfect...I've never read an interview so true to who I am.” That’s when I realized she was extremely intelligent.

She offered for me to see her again. She told me about what she read. A very sure taste for literature, the classics—she had not forgotten Claudel's lessons. She was very attached to her hand-annotated edition of Dante's The Divine Comedy in Italian—her father's nationality. She gave it at the end of her life to Hector Bianciotti, whom I introduced to her. But she had a curiosity for everything that was published—I brought her my favorite recent books—and the eclecticism of avid readers. She happily returned to Claudel's side, but discovered with the same interest Philip Roth, who made her want to reread Joseph Roth. Dante would bring her back to Philippe Sollers' side, and she would go back to the Italian side to read Svevo and Elsa Morante. She read the ones I told her about: Eudora Welty, Anna Maria Ortese, Annie Ernaux, Danièle Sallenave. But Highsmith's murky tales seemed too worrying to her. When we went to dinner, I always tried to convince her, to make her love this "black queen” without much success.

When she played at the theater at night, we used to go to lunch. She seduced me in every way—because she liked to seduce, because her conversation was brilliant, humorous, her language sometimes deliciously old-fashioned. One day when I was talking to her about a man, she said to me, “Alors, vous êtes éprise?” (“So, are you in love?”) with a sort of ‘h’ sucked in front of "éprise.” She lunched “en chapeau” (“in hat”) as it should be if you arrive in a restaurant wearing a hat, but nobody knows how to do it anymore. After coffee, without using a mirror, she reapplied her lipstick. She would sometimes use an indignant grandmother's voice to say, "My little one, stand up straight. This is an absolute rule.” When I complained about a married man who liked neurotics—those who harass you to snatch an evening, a weekend—and I told her that I hated these behaviors and that, asking for nothing, I did not get anything, she punctuated with a laugh: “But my little one, this is the story of my life! Men, if not burdened with recriminations, give nothing."

I loved going to see her at the theater. The presence on stage of a person with whom you have a form of intimacy is always moving. Anguishing, too. When, at the Théâtre Montparnasse, she took over La Maison du lac with Jean Marais, I went there almost every evening. Marais-Feuillère, for the last time, you had to see and see again. One day when she invited me to lunch in a restaurant near the theater, whose old-fashioned and provincial character, like the clientele, amused us, she reproached me: "Stop coming to the theater!" Seeing my crestfallen face, she added, “But this is not a good play! How can you listen to these banal lines over and over again?” “Of course, it's not Claudel, but I'm not coming for the lyrics, I'm coming for your shoulders and for the melody.”

“Cheeky and incorrigible, that's what you are. So, come on tonight, I'll introduce you to Jean."

Juliette Gréco, who laughed at this improbable friendship and imitated Feuillère so well, would sometimes call me, mocking her voice. I hesitated for fear of saying to the real Feuillère: "Stop your stupid jokes! " One morning, I hear Feuillère's phrasing on the phone, too over-played for it to really be her: “My little one, I had a great time last night.” And Juliette Gréco tells me, with her own voice and the tone of a kid delighted with her triumph, that she was at a party the day before, and that seeing Feuillère at a table she approached silently, passed her arms around her shoulders, and leaned over say to her ironically: "So, are we seducing the same young woman?"

Despite my protests, I admit that I was rather entertained by imagining this scene between these two. The tastiest was yet to come. Call from Feuillère, the same afternoon: "My little one, we mustn't tell Juliette Gréco that we are seeing each other, she is very jealous"

I joked: "No, she knows very well that we have incestuous loves.” “Incestuous, perhaps, but not Sapphic.” There is no one left to utter such phrases!

Talking about her relationships with women, one day, when once again I had just passed a passionate admirer on her doorstep who was chasing her and whom she received, while remaining aloof, even disdainful, I joked: “You are a tease.”

“At last, my little one, how dare you?”

“Sorry, but it's the truth!”

She didn't comment. I thought of Sartre telling Sagan, who was cutting meat badly, that he could no longer cut himself: “Respect is lost."

I was a little ashamed: I had crossed a line—thin, barely perceptible, and yet very present, beyond which she wanted to safeguard her unalterable dignity. More than Claudel, it was Mallarmé's Hérodiade that she made think of: "Who would dare touch me, a respected lion?”

- Josyane Savigneau on her friendship with Edwige Feuillère in Point de côté

[exciting]

As requested, books / series I read in 2020 in the order I read them, with a few brief thoughts. (This took me a hot second because there are a few and also I moved cities) Should I keep a consistent goodreads? Yes I should but I didn’t think of that at the time, so bone apple teeth & sorry if I offend you abt your faves x

P.S. I can’t figure out how to do a read more on mobile so long post ahead!

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas - This is one of the most vivid published fantasy books I have ever read... I read it twice in rapid succession. The fandom POPS off. I must say I have issues with certain aspects e.g. fae lore completely ignored à la Twilight, all love interests 500+ years old and technically a different species, etc (I’m not going to deconstruct the entire series here but just know that I could... Nesta deserves better)

Cruel Prince by Holly Black - This fucking slaps, HB clearly has done her research, the lore is near immaculate, and it explores the Fae in such a unique way, tying it to the modern world subtly and seamlessly. My only qualm was that the books felt quite short; truly wish there had been more content.

Throne of Glass by Sarah J Maas (6/7) - So basically I read this in one single, hyperfixated fit which meant I literally locked myself in my room for three days straight and read all six books back to back in a row from morning to the wee hours. Which is not to say it was spectacular; although it was a VERY rich world, sometimes it was too much... this felt like 6 stories in one. Ik she was young when she wrote this but it is my humble opinion that SJM needs a better editor & I personally think Rowan is a grade A asshole / straight up abusive (& personally think the ACOTAR Tamlin plot was born from that?). It’s good but not as good as ACOTAR. Skip-read the last book. 

Grishaverse (Shadow and Bone) by Leigh Bardugo (3) - This is essential to read before SOC but was very much simply a YA fantasy book, although the world was cool and the way the love plot played out was, imo, a subtle middle finger to the fantasy trope. Felt very much aimed at younger readers though? Really liked the sandwhich structure of the Proluge and Epilogue, especially in #2

Six of Crows series by Leigh Bardugo (2) - INCREDIBLE continuation of Grishaverse, better than the original series by a mile. It has the range, the diversity, the representation (the male lead is a disabled asexual and still the most cunning of the entire cast of characters), the plot is phenomenal, and it manages such a well rounded plot in only two books which means nothing is stretched out or squeezed in more than need be. Deserves all the praise it gets.

King of Scars series by Leigh Bardugo (0.5/1) - Personally I don’t consider this book canon, and while it’s nice to see the rest of Nina’s journey & the world again & everyone else, I don't like it. I will, however, be reading book 2 when it comes out, so shame on me, I suppose.

Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo (1/1) - this was incredibly cool although it went off in a completely different direction than I thought it would based off the first few chapters? One of my favourite YA-author-debuts-New-Adult novels in 2020 though!

Crescent City by Sarah J Maas (1/1) - This was supposed to be SJM/s New Adult debut, although personally I would put her other series in New Adult, and I can’t say a remarkable amount was different with this except they said “fuck” and “ass” a lot. WHY is the romantic interest 500 years old AGAIN. I just... don’t... I just don’t think it was necessary... the world was cool though, and the last half of the book was riveting, but the beginning was quite slow and I thought the sword thing was predictable. I am interested to see where this goes though.

A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab (3) - This world is so fucking cool... four Londons aka parallel universes & the one in ‘our’ world is set in industrial era London. Magic, girls dressing up as boys, thieves, pirates, royalty... it all just slaps. Schwab is an incredible writer & I was completely immersed.

Midnight Sun by SMeyer - I didn’t think anything could possibly detract even further from the Twilight story but I was sorely mistaken... seeing the stalking from Edward’s POV - and it was worse than depicted in Twilight, for the record - completely obliterated any sort of romance the first half of the original book may have portrayed. I still hold the opinion that the entire series would have been better if some kind of vampire lore had been abided by, if only to see all of the villains thwarted by someone dropping a bag of rice on the ground, forcing them to have to count them all.

An ember in the Ash by Sabaa Tahir  (3/4) - This was just a very stereotypical ya fantasy series, emphasis on the YOUNG... it wasn’t anything to write home about but I remember quite enjoying it at the time. 

The Power by Naomi Alderman - This book is FUCKING incredible and EXCEPTIONALLY thought provoking... essentially women alone develop a power of electric shock etc. and then take over the world from men, and it explores feminism and the balance between equality & tipping the scales in the other direction. Written by a friend of M.Atwood in a similar tone to handmaids tale, I would say? Content warning; there are some exceptionally graphic scenes in the latter half of the novel. 

Hamlet by Wllm Shksp - I can’t believe it took me this long to finally read it but Ophelia is my favourite name in the entire world & we love to see a woman go batshit (although she didn’t deserve that). 

Catherine House by Elisabeth Thomas - this was unsettling in the best sense of the word... it was a little slow & honestly more of a concept than a big reveal, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it after I finished it? A Secret History vibes but make it blurry like the memory of all those dystopian novels you read when you were young?

The Invisible Life of Addie La Rue by V.E. Schwab - This is without a doubt my book of the year, and probably the best book I read in 2020? I stayed up all night on a friend’s couch reading it, got a book hangover and reread the ending, and then thrust it upon my mother who doesn’t usually read but read this, and loved it just as much. HIGHLY recommend and you HAVE to read it, it’s beautiful and endearing and just plain wonderful.

Captive Prince by C.S. Pacat (3/3) - I went into this knowing it was going to be terrible, because I had received a blow by blow telling me as much; although I must say that it did learn a remarkable amount of new words, the books did get better as the series went on, and it did have a rather charming ending? BIG content warning for almost everything.

Sapiens by Yuval Harari - mind-expanding & must recommend for everyone, there is everything in this and I daresay everyone should posses this kind of knowledge? I listened to it as an audiobook (which I recommend because it’s rather hearty) but will be buying this in hardcopy & rereading it with annotations. 

Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller - Without a doubt, one of the most beautiful novels I have ever read, and certainly the most beautiful portrayal of the story of Achilles and the battle of Troy I have ever seen. Patroclus deserved the justice that was given to him in this book; indeed, all of the characters were written with justice and grace. Highly recommend.

Trials of Apollo by Rick Riordan (3/5) - Apollo is my favourite Greek God, and the sexiest greek god, and Rick Riordan’s writing slaps, as always. It did pain me to see Apollo, the sexy immortal, have to be forced back into a 16 year old’s body but everything else? Whimsical & wonderful, as expected. 

These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong - a retelling of Romeo and Juliette, except it’s set in Shanghai in the 1920′s, and the protagonists already have a history. Very well done, characters are incredibly diverse in race, sexual orientation, gender, and ability / disability (and honestly, representation has never appeared so effortless and elegant). Also it includes a monster and possible magic. Incredibly underrated and highly recommend.

The Once and Future Witches by Alix. E Harrow - this was such a unique concept, and truly captivating, the story was charming, and felt like the kind of beautiful fairytale you would read as children but with more grit? ABSOLUTELY recommend this one

The Pisces by Melissa Broder - I hated this so much, not my vibe at all. Mermaid smut x therapy but make it cynical and judgemental (I know there was a moral in there but that’s not my point) also the dog dies.

Library of the Unwritten by A.J. Hackwith (1/2) - really interesting & unique concept (all unwritten novels / ideas reside in a special library that is part of Hell and then sometimes the books can come to life) however, my first thought upon reading this was “this reads as if it’s stemmed from one of those writing prompt tumblr posts” bc of the tone and whatever and as it turns out I was somewhat correct, it did stem from a short story (not bad just obvious). It did kind of settle down as it went on but I found reading it kind of a drag, and I don’t think I will read the second one.

Abandon by Meg Cabot - 1. Meg Cabot’s writing always fucking slaps 2. Hades and Persephone but make it modern & very 2000′s & somehow kind of unique 3. I literally loved this, sue me

Medusa Girls (Sweet Venom) by Tera Childs - Like Percy Jackson except they are descendants of Medusa so they are Gorgons and have fangs & venom (hence the title). Gave me very 2000′s vibes? Quite cool but tbh I found the books quite short (like two hours each, if that)? Do NOT read the GoodReads description of the book before you read it, you will spoil it for yourself.

Bring me their Hearts by Sara Wolf - In my opinion, this is one of the most underrated YA series I read in 2020. The heroine is endearing, self aware, witty, and loves to look pretty even while kicking ass which in my opinion is an incredibly underrated trait. Also, immortality without being hundreds of years old? VERY sexy. HIGHLY recommend. 

A Deal with the Elf King by Elise Kova - High commendation to be given for the fact that it is a standalone and yet manages to fit in the plot of what would usually be a full fantasy trilogy without cutting corners or being a million miles long? Also sweet storyline & beautiful ending? If you liked ACOTAR you should read this as a “what would have / could have been had SJM had a different editor” (No shade I promise).

The Iron Fae by Julie Kagawa (4/4 + novellas) - Incredibly detailed faerie set around the modern world & our current use of technology & iron in it. Very neat adventure-style series, by the time I read the last novella I was well and truly done with the world (aka provided enough content to be fulfilling). Was definitely aimed at a younger audience though, NO smut / smut was brushed over.

The Modern Faerie Tales by Holly Black (3/3 SS) - This is technically the prequel to Cruel prince, set in the modern world, but with the fae world inside it as it traditional? All I have to say is that it is excellent & I highly recommend it.

Bridgerton series (The Duke and I) by Julia Quinn (9/9) - I read this after watching the Netflix show twice through and I am obsessed, although the books were not quite as elegant as the show, and some parts that made me cringe either by their portrayal (it is very firmly set in the 19th century and thus some things are not handled with tact or grace), the characters were exceptionally loveable and I am so excited to see where the show takes them! Lovely language & an abundance of words I had never seen before (always a plus). 

[septiembrre]

just reread So I Come To You My Love and i am soft!!! they're awkward, smitten teens trapped in the bodies of adults

Awwwww!!!!! THANK YOU for rereading!!!! So I Come To You My Love was so softtt and so much fun to write. To start off this post, here's the song I listened to a bunch when I wrote it.

I love thinking about Beth and Ruby on the plane. I had this fantasy of them away together on a trip and finally having rest and non-stressful adventures. I figured they'd be typical Americans and want to go somewhere romanticized like Paris (especially bc it seems like a place that American Black folk have identified is a relatively comfortable and safe place to travel). Like can you imagine them doing all the cute touristy things in Paris? Walking about looking gorgeous and eating bomb food? MY HEART.

One day when I have more time, I want to do a vacation series where everyone gets to take a break. They deserve it. I also really want to write Brio on a beach.

Lmao, I'm just going to quote an enormous, self-indulgent passage now:

But, historically it had unfolded the other way around. There had never been a precedent of Beth being the one to smoke bomb out for a few weeks...

Of course, she wasn’t smoke bombing anywhere, slipping away into the ether. This was a long-planned vacation, months in the making, decades in the dreaming. There had been careful plotting to adjust the slack in the printing schedule and there had been deliberate calendering with the children’s summer activities. And well, Rio knew where to find her -- both where her rental was in Paris and where she more permanently lived (with him).

And it’s not like they hadn’t talked every morning and every night and sometimes in between of these past three weeks

God, she feels clingy and codependent and too much like her teenagers. Ruby had called Stan half as much.

And she’s still itchy.

…And kind of oily now?

She keeps scratching at a spot on one of her shoulders, at her palms, blotting at her face.

The people around her are going to think she has some sort of disease.

Except for Ruby, who knows.

So, Beth sits there, tapping, scratching, sighing into the void of time.

And it shouldn’t be so much of a surprise when a little more than halfway through the flight, Ruby’s hand emerges from its blanket cocoon to clamp down on Beth’s jiggling leg. Regardless, Beth all but levitates a foot into the air, gasping.

“Chill out.”

I loved writing this part!!!! Ha, and now I have it as a personal writing headcanon that I like for Beth to startle, and i always have it in the first drafts of everything (and then i write out bc i have control!!!) and I love writing her children startling just like her.

Oh my god, I'm direct quoting the whole thing now. I tried to argue to sothischickshe a while back that AO3 should allow us to annotate or endnote fics to be able to add like a director's comments feature on it. Oh well!

“So… message him again?”

Beth cants her head low, letting her hair fall to obscure her face.

“He’s being… you know how he is.”

“I… do but I’m not sure I want to know what that means.” Ruby pauses, sitting with it. “Oh my god.” She clamps her hand down again, this time on Beth’s wrist. “Does he want you to take naked pictures in the bathroom?”

Beth tries to snatch her arm away, flailing in the seat.

“What if Delta sees your nudes?! Please, tell me you did not do that in that sardine box ten feet away from me, Elizabeth. Marks.”

“I didn’t. I would never.”

Someone a row over shushes them.

Ruby relinquishes her grip to press at her eyebrows. “Y’all are too much.”

Beth shrugs. “He really liked those caftans we bought at that boutique.”

Ugh, they're CUTEEEEE!!! I love the lead trio, but damn if just wouldn't love more one-on-one Ruby & Beth bff scenes. Beth has a particular type of emotional vulnerability with Ruby, and I love them being the same age and having come up together.

And, in regards, to Brio~~ like you know our guy was like mad texting the whole time they were apart. He tried to play it kind of cool for the first few days, wanted to let B have her space, but they end up getting all itchy sleeping apart and it just ~d e v o l v e s. He's like already thinking about when they would get to have their own vacation together, looking up the plane tickets.

I don't imagine them being ridiculously unboundaried about the calling but they're navigating a more clingy relationship stage and they finally have reason to not be immediately near and they miss each other. Beth is having this really wonderful time with her friend, but during her downtime she wants to call the person she's romantically in love with and eagerly share all the details. I enjoyed imagining a Beth who is slipping into the territory where she has the comfort-level of being able to pick up the phone without overthinking it and call Rio (ala her sister and Ruby). And Then starting to realize that she has that comfort and being like O H. D:

And of course, I loved writing the kiss. My partner and I used to do long-distance at the beginning of our relationship. Even now that we have lived with each other for many years, when we're apart, I really look forward to that first kiss and I liked sharing that with Brio. Especially, as a couple that has historically~~ textually~~ not done much kissing.

I'm a sucker for the Big Romance kiss.

Oh, god. Sorry for talking your ear off but let me know if you have any questions about it! I'm also very happy to take prompts in that universe.

[paraphernaliawagon]

right now i am obsessively rereading and annotating/creatively destroying the “Green Anarchy” anthology i bought sometime around 2011-12 (from someone who hosted an event at my college.) i am highlighting every place where they start sounding like fascists and there’s something on every page. the whole thing is complete eco-fascism. and though i never fully believed in their ideas, i gave them serious consideration i never should have. i was young, but i was old enough to have known better. i just trusted ANYBODY who claimed to be an “anarchist.” even when they started talking about the “limitations” of the left and the need to build a “post-left” anarchism. i just completely failed to put 2 and 2 together. i could read stuff about returning the world to small bands of hunter-gatherers and COMPLETELY fail to realize that means “most of the people alive today will have to die, and that’s acceptable and necessary.” it would mean I would have to die too, because i’m weak and “domesticated” (read: degenerate) and disabled and need civilization to keep me alive.

and that is exactly how these people fooled well-meaning anarchists and environmentalists and gained a dangerous foothold in the mainstream leftist scene in the Pacific Northwest in the 2000s.

i have never been more disgusted and horrified than i am right now. i don’t want anybody to ever again be fooled like i was.

when i am done with the whole book, i should put it in a google docs or something so people can see it. but i write in cursive and my notes are probably pretty hard to read and i should provide some sort of transcription alongside it.

[mizeliza]

So, I’m reading Jane Eyre for a class and was wondering why you like the novel? Currently, I’m struggling to get through it, finding the language to be almost disorienting and alienating and Rochester to be unlike able.

You’ve opened a can of worms here because I truly do love Jane Eyre but I am also painfully aware that it is my problematic fave - there are a lot of things that are morally unacceptable by today’s standards in it and yet. And yet. 

I’ve tried to mostly keep this spoiler free, because you seem to be in the middle of the book, but the book has been out for 173 years, and many of the things I have say have to do directly with it’s major plot points and eventual ending. For the most part I’ve tried to be vague, but that isn’t always possible, if you care about spoilers, consider yourself duly warned. And if anything is too vague and you need a better explanation with more details, feel free to message me or send in another ask! As you’re about to see I love talking about Jane Eyre lol

Addressing your issues first:

If the language doesn't work for you, unfortunately you’re just going to have to struggle through it. It’s old and that was the style. I first read Jane Eyre for my 11th grade English class and to this day all my friends from that class refer to long, long sentences as Charlotte Bronte sentences. I don’t mind them, but I am also prone to long, long sentences in both my personal and academic work so. But I can definitely see how that could be a barrier for people. If you don’t have to go too deep into annotations or tracking for the class, it’s okay to skim a lot of the longer paragraphs in order to get to more of the action.

Rochester is very unlikeable, but I think that’s sort of the point, he’s one of the original brooding older men that don’t get on with anyone but that somehow has eyes for the young heroine - he sees in her what no one else does and falls in love with her for it. It’s a trope I associate a lot with 2000s/v early 2010s YA novels, and at this point it’s tired and admittedly creepy, but this was part of the origin of it, and I think that’s why it works for me. 

Side note - If at the end of it you want to really hate Rochester, read Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys, which is about colonialism and feminism and Bertha Mason and Rochester, during which he definitely comes off worse than in Jane Eyre and she gets to be more than the originator of a very different trope, but make sure to get a version with footnotes or you will be very lost 

There are a ton of other problems with it, which I won’t go into, simply because it would take lots of time and lots of space and that isn’t what you asked for.

So back to why I love Jane Eyre:

I once saw it described as the first YA novel and I think that’s a pretty succinct way of looking at it. It’s definitely a coming of age story - from Jane escaping her abusive family members to an even worse boarding school, to her entering into the wider world for the first time, eventually leaving even though she’s in love because she refuses to compromise her morals - more on that later, getting to explore herself and her purpose in life outside of having to worry about her physical, mental, or moral survival, standing up for herself and again refusing to compromise her beliefs, and then, finally, upon realizing what she really wants in life - with the obstacles conveniently removed by fate - she returns on her own terms and gets to live happily ever after. Upon first reading it, as I mentioned above with Rochester, I noticed a lot of aspects that were very familiar to me - several of my annotations in the copy I read for school are just “wow this is just like in harry potter” - but again, they were new at the time. Anyway I just love narratives of women growing up and discovering themselves and chasing after what they want, I just think they’re neat.

I much prefer the first half? 2/3? of the book, up until she leaves Rochester and goes walking across the moors (so dramatic! and yet, what an absolute mood, if I had a moor to wander across in a forlorn state after leaving the person I love because I refused to compromise myself for them I would also go for it and end up half-dead on the doorstep of strangers) than afterwards, when she’s living with the Riverses, simply because I find them boring, especially St. John (whose name is pronounced Sinjin, which infuriated half my English class). Even though I am too afraid to watch or read true horror, I love the concept of a good ambiguously haunted isolated gothic mansion, and Jane Eyre delivers that. 

Which brings me to one of my favorite things about the book, I gave a presentation on it in my English class, which I am now realizing was four years ago which is terrifying, what I call the “almost supernatural.” Jane Eyre is filled with things that could be supernatural that aren’t - the Red Room, where Jane is filled with fear at the thought of a ghost, when she first meets Rochester and at first mistakes Pilot the dog for a gytrash, then thinking the house is haunted when strange things start happening, when it turns out to have been a person all along, if not the one everyone told her it was, and even arguably Jane herself, who Rochester refers to as a fairy multiple times. She wants so badly to believe in the supernatural, and strange and interesting things keep happening around her, and even though they’re terrifying, I’ve always gotten sort of an air of disappointment from her when it’s revealed that they’re just normal things. And then, at the very end of the book, something supernatural actually does happen to her, and it’s glossed over like the fact that what happens is physically impossible doesn’t even matter to her, after wanting things to be supernatural the whole book, because she finally knows what she really wants and has the capacity to chase after it. 

Finally, I will always take the chance to talk about how I think Jane Eyre is a feminist narrative, and am always willing to argue my point. 

By the middle of the book, Jane is in love with Rochester, and he is in love with her, he’s proposed and they’re somewhat happy together, but the situation always feels a bit off to Jane. She still doesn’t really value herself at this point, and he wants to give her nice and expensive things, and she also still feels the power dynamic - she’s an 18-year-old, possibly 19-year-old at this point? I don’t remember all the dates/times, adult but v young, governess and he’s her what, mid thirties at the youngest? rich, land-owning employer. There’s a huge power dynamic there on multiple levels, and unlike earlier, during their talks in the library where she openly calls him ugly and teases him back, at this point because of the changed social dynamic between them because of their engagement and her feelings of inadequacy because of their positions in society, made very clear by Miss Blanche Ingram (another trope that Jane Eyre helped make popular - the single father marrying the governess), Jane no longer feels like she can criticize him. While before, especially while alone, they were on more or less equal footing, she is now all too aware of how unequal they are and she shrinks a bit because of it. Somewhat ironically, Jane has very little agency between her assertion of her agency - “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will” - and her leaving Rochester, during that time she basically lets things happen to her while being somewhat bewildered about them. 

And then. And then the truth about Rochester and Thornfield is revealed, and they can no longer be married. And he offers to go away with her, to where no one knows them, to live in sin as husband and wife even though they can’t be actually married. And Jane sticks to her principles. She believes that that’s wrong and she refuses, and rather than be tortured by either the betrayal of her principles or the knowledge that he’s there and loves her and she can’t have him, she leaves. She takes only what she already owned, leaving behind everything he gave her. She finally exerts her agency again, and from then on, she keeps exerting it. 

While with the Riverses, she makes her own choices, and her own money, and again refuses a marriage that she feels isn’t right and that doesn't align with her beliefs - this time, she chooses not to marry because neither of them are in love. She rejects what St. John sees as her duty, including what can be seen as rejecting a closer relationship to god and god’s work, when god was the reason for her rejection of Rochester in the first place. Even though I think this part of the book is the most boring, Jane stands up for herself a lot more here, and she asserts herself as a person who values herself, and maybe I should reread it lol. And then, after refusing St. John and asserting her value outside of marriage, and with herself now financially secure and able to be on equal footing, socially, financially, romantically, with Rochester, then she returns to him so that they can have an equal relationship - which it would not have been before. 

I hope this was satisfying to you, even though (like Jane Eyre) it is very long and somewhat rambley, and I hope that I manage to improve your experience of the book! Please feel free to send me any responses or other commentary that you have because as shown I really do love to talk about it :)

[thereal-linh-cinder]

Cinder’s Notes on Harry Potter & the Sorcerer’s Stone

Hi I’m a walking Harry Potter encyclopedia and I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve read the books, but I do know that I first read them in 4th grade and by 6th grade I had read them 9 times. I’m now in my first year of college and I know I’ve read them more than 15 times and Im rereading them again! 

Like the nerd I am, I’ve been annotating and taking notes. Here are mine for book 1. (I read it about a year ago and ended up taking a break because I just wasnt in the mood)

****spoilers for the ENTIRE HP series. Obviously.

Can you read in animagus form? Do you gain every feature/trait of the animal? (this got answered, yes u can read)

How does the deluminator know when you want to take a light or put it back? 

“Perhaps it had something to do with living in a dark cupboard, but Harry had always been small and skinny for his age.” or it could be the years of abuse and malnourishment, but sure yeah cupboard

Did Harry’s magic influence his reaction to the years of abuse? Is that why it seems undervalued? 

Hagrid says he “flew” to the hut on the rock, but there was no broom. Did he fly the same way Voldy did in book 7?

17 sickles to a galleon. 29 knuts to a sickle. This means that there are 493 knuts to a galleon.

IMAGINE if Harry had actually gotten the gold cauldron omg

I always forget that Ron has Charlie’s old wand. What did Charlie do?

the sorting ceremony is so stressful, that’s so much pressure on 11y/os

no wonder the Fat Friar is the Hufflepuff ghost. Also I wonder what his real name was.

WHY weren’t the Sorting Hat’s songs in the movies bruh

reminder that this group of first years is unusually small bc this is the post-war lot

Harry joining Gryffindor does NOT help their ego

the alphabetical order during the sorting ceremony is the most organized thing at the school

Hagrid is literally the best (dont remember what this was about but facts) (probably when he sends Harry the letter to tea)

I wonder if Hogwarts counts absences and tardies like public muggle schools? Do you need a doctors note from Pomfrey? Do tardies add up? 

is there a recipe for rock cakes

JKR and her weird eye colors. She sounds like a 12y/o fic writer

“Perhaps brooms, like horses” did Harry learn that in muggle school? Did the Dursleys take him horse riding? Huh???

Harry is really good at almost getting expelled

Why is the Trophy Room always unlocked

If Gryffindor has Quidditch practice 3x a week, whendo the other houses have time to practice? (I suppose at different times of day but still. Geez, Wood.)

10 points is nowhere near enough points for two 11 year olds taking out an entire mountain troll by themselves.

“Harry was very lucky that he now had Hermione as a friend” oh buddy u have NO idea

Honestly I’m glad Hermione doesnt let the boys copy her work and this was where I started to wonder if she influenced me 

The whole Snape complex.Is this book big foreshadowing for it? Snape seems evil but turns out “not” to be (i don’t like Snape or his sad excuse of a redemption but..)

Angelina Johnson, feminist icon

Lee’s Quidditch commentary is still one of the best things

Never forget that the Twins pelted Voldemort in the face with snowballs. Quirrell must be a pretty damn good actor...

Hogwarts is just the same as any other school, bullying is fine but physical fighting is not

If Ron grew up in the Wizarding World, why doesnt he know about Flamel? Especially if he has like 7 of Dumbledore’s chocolate frog cards? 

And why isnt Flamel in any of those books if he’s such an important and influential alchemist? 

Isnt an invisibility cloak just a cloak with a disillusionment charm on it? (not Harry’s obvs) Why are thy so “rare and valuable” if theyre so easy to make? 

Why so much food at Christmas if half the school is gone

Dumbledore says he sees himself holding socks in the Mirror of Erised, but we know he really sees Grindelwald his family just like Harry. Socks set House Elves free. Is this a metaphor for wanting to be freed from the guilt he faces about Arianna? 

Hermione really is kinda evil. This flattery? Slytherin potential (again dont remember what part this is referring to) 

these kids dont live in 2019 where its possible to just fake a mental breakdown to get out of class lol 

Why do the Gryffindors get 50 points taken each and Malfoy only gets 20 taken? Also, 10 is STILL not enough for taking out a troll. McGonagall needs to sort out her priorities...

Hogwarts knows how to do detention.

Firenze is the Legolas of centaurs

...how did the boys not notice the Devil’s snare

what is up with hand magic? I keep noticing it in the Fantastic Beasts movies and now Quirrell just snaps his fingers and ropes bind Harry??? huh????

Dumbledore definitely set up this entire obstacle course for Harry, which is....questionable.

FIFTY POINTS FOR CHESS BUT ONLY 10 FOR TAKING OUT A TROLL??????????

I love the irony in “trying to remember how to make a forgetfulness potion.” Also, could that potion be used in place of Obliviate?

[temnurus]

Reader Tag Game

I was tagged by the amazing @blue-rose-smalls. Thanks for including me! I love tag games. 😊

Hardcover or paperback - I prefer paperback because they’re lighter, easier to store and carry around while reading, and cheaper. I rarely buy books these days, though.

Borrows or buys - I used to buy books like mad. I’ll still buy a physical copy of one I really love that I’ll read over and over, but for the most part I’ve come to rely on the library for any published fiction I consume.

Annotations or pristine pages - I feel physically ill at the thought of writing in a book, so this one was easy.

E-books or physical copies - Again, I rarely buy books anymore, but when I do it’s an even toss up as to which format its going to be. I like e-books for ease of access and space-saving purposes, but having a physical copy is just so satisfying for some reason that I can’t entirely give them up.

Dog ears or bookmarks - People who dog ear books deserve to be drawn and quartered. Horrifying.

Mismatched series or complete set - It bothers me when they’re not matching. I like order in some things, I suppose.

Lend books or keep them to yourself - There’ve been too many instances where I’ve lent someone a book and had it returned damaged or not gotten it back at all, so now no one gets to borrow my books.

Enjoys lit classics or despises them - I love some books that are considered classics, and I outright loathe others. I think it would be rare for this to be a clear cut decision either way.

Browses shops or orders online - I’ve done both avidly in the past. More often than not now it’s browsing online and then seeing if the library has a copy, though.

Unreturned books or clean library records - Hermione would be appalled, but I am terrible at returning things on time.

Rereads or once was enough - I’ll reread my favorites until they’re falling apart, honestly.

Fanfic enthusiast or stickler for canon - People who nitpick about canon compliance in fanfic irritate me, to be honest. It’s fanfiction. None of this is canon compliant, y’all. That’s kind of the whole point.

Deep reader or easily distracted - When I get into something I’m the sort of person you have to call three times to get my attention. The only exception to this is if I’m reading something that I’m not really vibing with. Then I might be a bit easier to pull out of something.

Must read the book before seeing the movie or order doesn’t matter - It really doesn’t matter to me. Sometimes if I’ve read a book before seeing the movie it ruins the movie for me because I’m so annoyed about things they leave out or whatever. If I don’t know ahead of time I can usually at least enjoy the movie for what it is.

Has neat bookshelves or messy bookshelves - I hate clutter, so yeah, my bookshelves are alphabetized by author’s last name and neatly organized.

Skips ahead or resists temptation - I’ll often succumb to impatience and skip ahead, but I nearly always read the whole thing anyway. I don’t care about spoilers.

Guesses the plot twists or never sees them coming - Sometimes I guess ahead of time, and other times I’m just as surprised as anyone else.

This was fun! I’ll tag @triggerlil, @bronwenackeley, @withgreatelan, @sunnyeclipses, @eletriptan, and anyone else who wants to play!

[notmoreflippingelves]

Reading Asks

I was tagged by @saemi-the-dreamer

hardcover or paperback --Depends on the book but unless it’s one I plan on re-reading multiple times, I go paperback

 rent or buy  --Depends on the book; I use the library a lot but for certain books or vacations/other times when I know I’ll be doing a lot of reading, I’ll buy

reads in silence or reads with music 

standalone or series (Depends; when I was younger I was more into series, but now that I’m an adult with less time to read, I tend to read more standalone but I love it when I find a series I like.) 

annotations or pristine pages --Are we talking like professional annotations like footnotes, etc, or like someone just writing in the margins on their own? I never write in or highlight my books, but when I’m reading a classic, I do prefer to find an edition with copious footnotes by academics

ebook or physical copy  --Depends on the book. I used to be a complete book snob about kindles. But then I got one and now I’m obsessed with it.  I still like to have hard copies of certain books ( especially ones that have illustrations/maps/lists of characters) so I can easily consult them. But otherwise, I’m fine with eBooks especially for books I’m not planning to re-read.

dog ears or bookmarks  --I almost never dog-ear but I have been known to do it when I can’t find a bookmark. I also tend to lose nice bookmarks easily and end up using receipts/random scraps of paper, etc as bookmarks

mismatched series or complete set  --unfortunately both; sadly a fair few of the series I enjoyed growing up abruptly decided to change the cover design in the middle of the series; why would they do that? and usually the new covers were less good overall; so I sort of got stuck with the mismatched volumes as a result.  *le sigh*)

cover matters or you don’t judge -- It depends. Naturally, I’m more drawn to books with attractive covers, but honestly the title and the blurb itself matter far more to me than the cover image itself. 

 lend books or keep them to yourself-- Depends on the person and the book (i.e. how likely I am to re-read it, if it’s part of a series I like, etc) , but overall, I’m less likely to lend out books unless I’m sure I’m done with them. 

 enjoys lit classes or despises them -- I miss my lit classes so muuuucch. I even miss the papers. Sometimes I find myself randomly doing complex “literary analysis” type takes randomly (and often on non-book forms of media), because the urge to analyze the *symbolism* and themes will never leave me.

 browses shops or orders online-- Both. I mean to be honest, I’m more likely to actually buy the book online  (or receive it as a gift), but bookstores are a great place to scout out what’s out there and be aware of things. Especially old and quirky ones that aren’t a chain.

reads reviews or goes in blind-- Depends on the book. I have recently become extremely addicted to goodreads, so I tend to consult their user reviews for a book I’m curious about than scout out formal professional reviews. But often if I just come across a book in a store or library that I like the sound off enough to start reading right away, I don’t necessarily feel the need to check public opinion before I start. 

unreturned books or clean library record -- As of right now, I am in the clear. Granted I have lost a handful of books over the years, but really not that many and I am pretty reliable about paying late fines right away.

rereads or once was enough-- Depends on the book, but unless I really didn’t like it, I will probably pick it up again at some point. 

fanfic enthusiast or a stickler for canon -- Depends on the book.  There are a lot of books I’ve loved that I’ve never felt the need to seek out and/or create fic for, and others (even ones that I objectively like less) that I’ve read multiple fics.

deep reader or easily distracted-- Is both an option?  I read multiple books at once semi-regularly in order to keep my mind fully engaged. But I also often get “in the zone” when reading and am capable of intense hyperfocus. I also tend to be a speed-reader overall, and when properly focused, I can devour like 400 page books within like a day or less. 

 must read the book before seeing the movie or order doesn’t matter-- It depends on how well-known the book is--relative to the movie.  Like there are several films that I was not aware were books until later (The first example that comes to mind is The Princess Bride)   But if a book is well-known enough in its own right and I’m consciously aware that both film and book versions exist, I usually make a point to seek out the book first. Interestingly enough, the times when I’ve seen the film before reading the book, I’m more likely to enjoy them both--whereas reading the book first can sometimes “ruin” the movie for me. 

 has neat bookshelves or messy bookshelves -- bold of you to assume anything of mine is neat. (Although to be fair, my bookshelves are much more put together than my desk, kitchen table, etc). 

skips ahead or resists temptation -- If it’s a big enough book with a lot riding on it, I have been known to read at least the last few pages--just to give me a little hint of what I’m getting in for. Surprisingly spoilers have never been a dealbreaker for me, and I’m often more likely to enjoy something if I have a sense that it’s coming. (Obviously, I don’t do this with mystery/crime novels as so much of the enjoyment of the work as a whole depends on the ‘surprise’ ending.

reads aloud or in your head

I’m tagging @quitequiteblue, @moocowmoocow, @combefaerie for now--as I am pretty sure you are all readers.

[coelenterata]

aflamethatneverdies replied to your post: Dracula ch III

Yeah same. I am aware of Dracula in pop culture and reading it finally is such an experience. Also the annotations you shared have been very helpful in learning what was part of the book and what has become popular memory about vampires. For instance I did not know that vampires do not burn in the sun in this book and I was so amazed to read Dracula walking in the morning, I had assumed it must be so.

I’ve never even seen a Dracula movie (I have seen that ridiculous Van Helsing movie, but that doesn’t count) so my knowledge is really not even second-hand, it’s that weird thing of, oh sometimes there are drawings/posters/whatever of Dracula and he’s being Dangerous Romance with some woman, and then all the pop culture Vampire Facts, and absolutely none of it aligns with what the book actually is, and even on a reread that’s astounding. But I know enough of what came before and what came after Dracula that I can sort of see how vampire lore developed, and it says so much about so many things, like, there’s enough there to connect everything? I was 12 when the Twilight movie happened, I’m not gonna talk about Carmilla the novella or the webseries but that’s a whole topic, I’ve read a handful of older folk stories about vampires and they’re a whole different ballpark, I’ve read newer books for adults and newer books for kids, we both know Romanticism has done vampires many different ways, and Dracula is where all of that connects and I get uh. Really excited about that.

Anyway also pop culture makes people believe Dracula is a way less interesting kind of story than it actually is. I’m not gonna tell you any spoilers but I’m so excited to read this story again.

[historyy]

If you have any finished writing projects - how do you tackle editing? It always seems as the post intimidating part. Also are there scenes in your wips which you loved but had to delete ?

YES this is such a good qu! i have one finished novel, SOLAR ORBIT, which went through seven drafts (oh my god…). i did query it last summer but was rejected by all the agents and decided to work on my craft instead, including having a published sff author friend of my parents read it and feedback which was scary. 

now, this is really long but i hope its helpful. i’ve decided to split it up a bit.

general advice

i actually really enjoyed editing solar orbit because i’m a bit of an obsessive about getting things perfect and i liked fixing the bad bits, but i agree it is an intimidating task especially when starting off with that all important second draft and there were times when i just wanted to abandon it all. 

for me, the first draft is about getting it down on paper. the second is about fixing big things - like worldbuilding problems or cutting characters (i lost a super unnecessary side character called hiroko who i only put in because i wanted a girl with green hair. she’s in my heart.). then third draft is about fixing smaller problems - for me this is the words ‘and then’. i am cursed by ‘and then’ i use it so much. i just checked and in my first draft i used it 92 times and in my final draft only 42 times. then the drafts after that are for fixing sentences and grammar and little niggling things which damage your story. 

the internet is your buddy

i remember, before starting editing i watched a lot of videos (check out katytastic, i love her vids), and read lots of articles about editing. nanowrimo must have some! i also did a bit of work with critique partners when i got to the fourth draft. so do seek help online. my pinterest might be useful for this. here are a couple diagrams i just picked off there which resemble more or less how i edited. 

so, second draft

the first thing to do if you’re just starting a second draft is print it all off. i know, its a lot of paper, and you can do this on pdf if you want but its a lot harder to spot things. i read solar orbit back to back, then, feeling cringey and disenheartened, cracked out the good ol color pens. i think i had pens for character, world, plot, writing skill, and then a general black pen to cross out things i knew needed cutting. i read through again, marking edits i needed to make, then rewrote the whole thing from scratch.

yeah, rewrite it. i know. scary stuff. opening a blank document AGAIN? have the two documents next to each other and rewrite using your annotations and notes, changing what you want to change and adding or cutting as you go. this makes it easier to see pace, tone, and plot balance when making your big picture changes.

third draft

sort of the same here - i think i did the blank document thing here again, although rather than printing i’m pretty sure i just reread the second draft again. this for me is like a mini second draft to catch what you missed first time round. maybe get critique partners in here.

fourth and onwards

this is the ‘fine toothed comb’ stuff! looking at sentences and grammar and dialogue and paragraph breaks etc. do not do the rewriting from scratch here, just duplicate the doc and read through it. i’m pretty sure with my last but one draft i used pdf highlights or google docs (w my critique partners) to make notes, and then incorporated those edits into the document.

finally, leave it to sit and then read it all with a fresh eye. and then voila. your fully edited novel is READY TO BE READ. 

anyway i hope this is helpful and not just SUPER rambly but i really do love editing so hmu off anon if you need more help! ok to reblog of course, if you want this trainwreck post on your dash. hope it goes well, let me know!

(this is too long to add the scenes bit, but suffice to say YES)

ask me about my writing!