#but I am not sure so hahahahahahahahha

[anxious-witch]

Hahahahahahah someone who knows this better than me, how can one differentiate between choker biught as accessories and those bought in an erotic shop?

I am asking for a friend. No current events happening that made me wonder

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Jujutsu Kaisen S2

Based on people's foreboding comments I have rarely been so certain a show was about to hurt my feelings. But here we are, ready to be hurt again LMAO

"No one else understands what cursed spirits taste like." Do you think Geto is obsessed with converting Yuji because he's the only other person in the world who eats curses

I wasn't expecting the Utahime and Mei flashback but I do enjoy it

"I don't need that, but you do, right?" Is the implication here that Mei's technique give her impeccable night vision. What is with all these Jujutsu Eyes

Are we going to see ALL the teachers' generation as kids? I have never been listening more in my life. TELL ME MORE:

However, the fact the subtitle of this arc is "Premature Death" probably doesn't bode well for my feelings

"Satoru, it's not nice to pick on the weak." "What kind of idiot picks on the strong?" A terrible but fair point, Gojo

I didn't really recognize Ieiri in the intro so I'm really, really glad to hear that the Female Teammate of Gojo and Geto is not Super Dead LMAO

"Jujutsu exists to protect non-jujutsu sorcerers." I know they're just playing basketball but I am giggling and kicking my feet. I loooove a backstory. Also: Geto you certainly had quite a turn, didn't you?

"You should be more polite and humble," said Geto to Gojo, in a lesson that the latter would never learn, ever, in his life

Given that someone has to die, I'm placing my bets on Star-Vessel-Gal-That-I-Bet-You-$5-Someone's-Going-To-Fall-in-Love-With

"I'm not a Zen'in anymore. I took my wife's name. It's Fushiguro now." YOU MEAN THAT GUY PEOPLE KEEP LUSTING AFTER IS MEGUMI'S DAD????? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA. OH NOOOOOOOO. THAT'S SO FUNNY FOR MEGUMI, HAVING AN EVIL, FUCKABLE DAD

"How's Megumi doing?" "Who's that?" ISN'T HE A TODDLER RN? What a terrible father kjnhgghg. We knew, but wow

"Tengen-sama is me, and I am Tengen-sama." I love that Tengen, Mysterious Keeper of Jujutsu Barriers, is in his mini-skirt era

"I wish I could share my senses with [cursed spirits] like Mei-san does." Well, that explains her impeccable night vision. I sort of forgot that she's also a human surveillance camera

Ahhhh so I guess Riko's like 13 to their 16? Maybe they won't fall in love after all

"Riko, you have a boyfriend?" HAHAHAHA this is the school drama shenanigans I was hoping for

"I failed!" There something endearing about Gojo learning how to control his techniques

HAHAHAHA they're not going to explain the cutaway to the beach????? Hello???????

"I still don't have much recollection of being attacked." Ah, so it was to resolve the kidnapping situation for Kuroi with immediate success

OH MY GOD, I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE NANAMI EITHER. LOOK AT HIIMMMMMMMMM. I did not peg him as a long-hair boy:

Also also also. Just based on his place in the OP, I like Nanami's little friend. I do think he must be Super Dead though

"You haven't released your technique since yesterday, have you? You haven't slept either. And you don't plan to sleep tonight, do you? Are you sure we don't need to go back to Jujutsu High?" This arc is I think what is going to make me love Gojo. I like him well enough, but there's a sincerity here that's getting me. Gojo who tries and fails at new techniques and runs himself ragged to give a dying girl her beach day

"Have we met before?" said Gojo, like Megumi's evil DILF father did not have a sword through his chest

"Never before or after that, had anyone noticed me standing behind them." Hey quick question. What the fuck does that mean?

Ohhhh, Maki and Megumi's Dad have the same No Cursed Energy Condition. It's like a reverse Kekkei Genkai

HOW DID BEING SLASHED THROUGH HIS WHOLE TORSO FROM THE NECK ON NOT KILL GOJO DEAD?

"No matter what decision you make, we will guarantee your future." Geto and Gojo deciding before even meeting her they'll fight Curse Wizard God to give Riko her autonomy!!!! That's the Jujutsu High spirit I know 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Update from two minutes later: Rest in pieces, Riko-chan

Geto said: You have actually activated my trauma response, which is unrestrained manslaughter

Ggjkglgjlgkjg Megumi's Dad said: Looks like you brought curses to a gun fight!

Not to poke holes in this monologue, but doesn't changing the size of a cursed spirit require cursed energy?? I feel like this is such a loosey-goosey structure for what is and isn't cursed energy

"I've already decided I'll only see you either for work or in Hell." I want this to be my email signature

Megumi 🤝 His Dad: Accusing your opponent of being high when they act weird

"One, the power to stop: The neutral application of the Limitless technique. Two, the power to attract: the amplified application of the Limitless technique, Blue. And three, the power to repel: the reversal of his cursed technique, Red." Thank you for laying it all out Mr. Megumi's Dad because I would've taken a long time to get there myself. Also does this mean Gojo is like a giant magnet

"Two or three years from now, my kid will be sold off to the Zen'in clan. Do what you will with that." RIP Megumi's Hot, Evil Dad, who I guess didn't sell him? Or pre-sold him? That part's unclear. Also I can't believe Gojo killed Megumi's Dad and then adopted him. And then DIDN'T TELL HIM HE WAS DEAD. GOJO, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

(Assuming this actually killed him, that is. He is missing like, a third of his body. Seems pretty fatal.)

Also, after all that, I have finally learned from the episode description his name is (was?) Toji. If they said it, I missed it!

"Does there really need to be any point to [killing people]?" "It's very important that there is. Especially for a jujutsu sorcerer." Geto being the constant voice of reason implies something incredibly drastic must happen to him

Also: I guess GOJO's trauma response is unrestrained manslaughter

"Are you Geto-kun? What kind of woman is your type?" You mean to tell me that the lady who turned Todo into whatever he is has been menacing people for generations??? LMAO

"Rather than hunt down cursed spirits, I want to create a world where cursed spirits aren't born." Tsukumo coming in with some hot takes on Jujutsu Society it seems

"If all of mankind were jujutsu sorcerers, curses wouldn't be born." Is Geto in the present trying to, force all of society to become jujutsu sorcerers by making a curse-dominant society, thereby eventually making everyone equipped to deal with cursed energy, and eventually starving the curses out? What a weird, terrible, backwards plan. Incredible. Tell me more!!!

"Just keep culling non-sorcerers and force them to adapt into sorcerers as a survival strategy." Why do all anime roads lead to metaphors for geno-[LOUD FOGHORN NOISE]

"But unfortunately, I'm not crazy enough to do that." Geto said: No problem, I am!!!!

I was correct, Nanami's Nice Friend Haibara is in fact Super Dead

It is funny that they make out Geto's descent into madness and [GUNSHOT NOISE] being triggered by people being violent towards the youth, considering he spent the whole first season plotting ways to torture teenagers

"So, you're just going to kill everyone who's not a sorcerer? Even your parents?!" "I can't allow my parents to be a special exception." Alright, Anti-Establishment Itachi, chill out

Ahhhhhhh, poor Gojo, unable to kill or reason with his friend:

Geto said: I will raise you adopting Megumi and ADOPT TWO TRAUMATIZED CHILDREN, GOJO. BEAT THAT!

"About this dad of yours. I ki--" "I don't care." OH MY GOD MEGUMI. ALSO. GOJO. HE'S FIVE, YOU COULD'VE TRIED A LITTLE HARDER TO TELL HIM

"If I go [to the Zen'in clan] will Tsumiki be able to find happiness? It all depends on that." MEGUMI HAS BEEN SELFLESS HIS WHOLE LIFE

I do love the very normal but realistic dialogue of Nobara and Yuji talking past each other to convince the other to do an activity the other isn't interested in (shopping and a movie respectively). Also Megumi the Homebody!

OH NOOOOOOOO NOT THE SHIBUYA ARC. THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE WARNED WOULD HURT MY FEELINGS

Ohhhhhhh my god. Nobara being asked advice from this gal about asking Yuji out and immediately bringing Megumi back to the restaurant. I LOVE SCHOOL DRAMA

"Someone who knows Itadori well is on his way here now." Megumi Fushiguro: Yuji Dating Consultant

"Did my heart skip a beat?" Nobara!! What does that mean!!!

Megumi takes his role incredibly seriously. Beautiful. Perfect. Beyoncé:

Also. I know it was just an omake, but the implication that it is understood on Team Gojo that Yuji is allowed to date but Megumi isn't is SO FUNNY. They're like, 'He's OUR special boy, leave him alone!'

"But the way she eats and her handwriting and stuff are super nice." Yuji, my sweet boy, who loves girls for their hearts AND their asses

The slice of life parts of this are really getting my heart <3 Give me fifteen more episodes of Team Gojo's dating troubles and going to see Worm Man movies

Jujutsu Kaisen said: Hey Mechamaru have you considered not being disabled, and being evil instead? It's a fresh new look!!

"I have to use any means necessary to get in contact with Gojo Satoru and tell him about the Shibuya plot." Muta-maru said he's only a pragmatic amount of evil, a means to an end

"I'll be able to see everyone," said Muta-maru, in what I'm sure wasn't foreshadowing of him immediately about to die

"But I want to be even closer to you, Mechamaru. So, one day, I will come see you." Oh, Miwa, I don't think you will

Team Nanami!!! While I am glad to see them, I don't like this for Megumi. That he's here, in Shibuya. Be safe, baby boy!

"Everyone who came up running up to the edge of the veil to escape cried the same thing: Bring Gojo Satoru!" How about we don't do that!

Are they making Maki go on a mission with her grandpa? LMAO

They have made this as OMINOUS as possible. I don't like it. I don't like it at all. STAY AWAY, GOJO!!

"They're making Gojo-sensei do this alone?" MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY!

Mei giving Yuji the option not to fight the people 😭😭😭 The teachers try so very hard to protect them in the ways that they can

"Mankind has long feared, hated and cursed such demonic pests." I am like the opposite of a bug person but I didn't have a specific fear of locusts going into this episode. They're doing their best to give me one though

"Are you clever? Or not clever? I'm clever." "Clever people wouldn't really go around calling themselves clever." There's something very Imperfect Cell about locust's vibes, and it does make me laugh

Yuji praying over the person who was killed 😭💞 HIM!!

"Nee-sama is praising you! Just accept it!" [Yelling] "Thank you! I'm honoured!" Yuji is very willing to accept constructive criticism

"Domain Amplification. It's the same principle as the New Shadow School's simple domain. They envelope themselves with the domain. While it reduces its guaranteed-hit effect, it ensures they neutralize any technique used. That would allow their attacks to hit me." Then why would people not use domain amplification and simple domain all the time?

The way Geto has thought of so many different ways to make sure there are civilian casualties to anything Gojo does!! GET GOT, GETO!

Them starting this horrifying scenario with an I Love Gojo video!!

"Technically, he's my benefactor," said Megumi, which meant, My Really Annoying Older Brother or Uncle or Dad Whom I Love

I do kind of love seeing Gojo go insane on these Cursed Spirits and reducing Hanami to smithereens. He can be a little vengeful, as a treat

"I'm sorry. I can't save everyone. So I promise to exorcise them instead." Oh, Gojoooo 😭😭😭😭

I KNOW THAT GETO KNOWS GETTING HIM TO STAND STILL FOR A MINUTE WILL BE EASY BECAUSE HE MISSES HIS DEAD FRIEND. I HATE THIS. I HATE IT! I WANT TO CRY AND THROW UP.

HEY! HEY! WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"I can pass from one body to another by replacing its brain with myself." WHAT DO YOU MEAN?????????????

It's NOT EVEN HIS FRIEND? IT'S A CURSE WEARING HIS DEAD FRIEND'S FACE? WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE HELL. WHAT ON EARTH!

"But it's time for you to wake up. How long will you keep letting it have its way with you, Suguru?" Geto's hand trying to kill the thing possessing him. For his own sake, or for Gojo's, I don't know

"I was killed on October 19th by the special-grade cursed spirit called Mahito." Rest in pieces, Mechamaru. Good of you to help!

"Well, it'll all work out somehow. I'm counting on you, everyone." Gojo thinking of his team of first years to save him!!!!!!!

OH IJICHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT'D HE DO TO ANYONE!!!!

Yuji dealing with the cell phone issue by yelling to all Shibuya a message for Nanamin ❣️ He is clever, and loud!

"Don't toy with Geto-sama any further." Mimiko and Nanako trying to get their surrogate dad's body back. Extremely fucked up and sad

Nanami asking Ino to look after Megumi and Yuji 🥺🥺

"The Gojo clan is currently a one-man team of Satoru Gojo himself." Where are all the other Gojos??????

Gojo being the one person who is safe-guarding specific people in jujutsu society with his existence 🥺😭 I do love him!!!

I do miss the omake instead of this end-of-ep character commentary but the fact that someone insults Gojo with the phrase, "Acting like he was nothing but leg below his nipples," does entertain me 1) Because it really doesn't translate to me culturally as an insult jnghkghg and 2) It confirms Gojo has nipples, which is a real rarity in anime

"They won't be able to climb up here that fast." [Immediate cut to Megumi and Yuji dropping in via Megumi's giant shadow bird] I love physical comedy

"So, whenever I'm at a loss, I think to myself, 'What would Nanami-san do?'" Oh, Ino, that's very sweet

"I thought this wouldn't take long?" "No comment." Yuji and Megumi's friendship is my whole heart and soul

OH MY GOD??????????????????????????????????? THEY'RE POSSESSING MEGUMI'S FATHER???? WHAT IS THIS, THE MAKE TEAM GOJO SEE A BUNCH OF ASSHOLES WEARING THEIR DEAD LOVED ONES FACES ARC????????

Setting aside the egregious body horror, I love that Gojo has been a menace from birth. Good for him!

"If you're a man, be clear and decisive." [Megumi points at Yuji about to throw a car] "That stuff's not my role." Megumi said: Yuji is my man, actually 💖

Megumi's so smart!!!!!! Figuring out how to be both weak and strong at the same time to combat the Inverse technique

Nanami flashing back to Haibara's body when he sees Ijichi's. Ahhhhhhhhhh.

"Who the hell do you think you're ordering around, old hag?" I KNEW that Toji was not going to be silent. Even dead, he's just. A Very Big Presence. Also, poor Megumi's feelings when he sees him. And subsequently, mine

"I guess it just means that this guy's soul couldn't win against my body." "A soul losing to a body?! No! That's impossible!" There is some interesting world-building between the body and the soul with Geto and Toji having consciousness through body alone. I'd be so thoughtful if it weren't so fucked up

"If I die, you'll kill me, right?" Megumi said: Stay Safe, Love You The Sequel 🌸

Nobara trying to protect Nitta while fully concussed!!!

NANAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WIZARD ACCOUNTANT DAD'S HERE TO THE RESCUE!!!

I now have a new appreciation and understanding for everyone's lustful feelings for Nanami. I get it:

Ijichi's alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh thank god. Stay alive!!!!!!!!!!!

"You would hinder me, and be in the way." A harsh but fair verdict for Nobara

Of all the people fighting on the side of curses, Choso is the one whose motivations are most understandable

"This guy has beaten my brothers before. They wouldn't lose to some idiot." Lot of confidence in that statement, Choso. I'm not saying Yuji's an idiot, but he learns best on the job and with advice. Benefit of Mechamaru's wisdom, in this case

It's fun that when the sorcerers don't know what's going on, they have an omniscient narrator/mission reporter cut in with an explanation

Also, if I were Choso, I would simply leave the bathroom LMAO

"So even if I die, I'm taking this guy out! I don't have to be the one to rescue Gojo-sensei!" YUJIIIIIIIII

UNBELIEVABLE, IS YUJI, LIVERLESS, UNCONSCIOUS AND FULL OF HOLES, GOING TO WIN THIS BATTLE ON THE BASIS OF A FRIENDSHIP MONTAGE?

Are they suggesting Yuji is ALSO the manifestation of a cursed womb. Because I hope the fuck not!!!

It seems Nanako and Mimiko are going to save Yuji because they share a purpose: Getting-Sensei-Dad-Released-From-Horrors

"Ui Ui? Will you die for me?" "Are you sure that's alright? May I die for you?" This sibling relationship has unsettled me from the moment it appeared on screen LMAO

"I guess there's never been a case where I've been better off alone." Nanami's hard line for co-combatants is that he will not intentionally put first years at risk (fair, given his history)

It's interesting how the ocean spirit seems the least aware and battle-hungry, given that The Ocean Has Many Things to Fear

I said this, and the Ocean immediately exploded into a taller, buffer cursed spirit

"Projection Sorcery. The cursed technique of Naobito Zen'in. It splits one second into 24 frames from his field of view, and allows him to trace the actions created in those frames at the start." Do you think it's fun for the animators to animate a power that's based on animation?

So THIS is where the beach domain came from! What a throwback!

Shikigami really do make sense for the Ocean as an attack

MEGUMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!! He said: Hey Maki, I heard you were fighting shadows and hating old Zen'in men without me! What gives?

"The other two?" "Ino-san tapped out. Itadori's acting on his own." Nanami's first words to Megumi being about the other kids!!! I LOVE U

WHAT AN ABSOLUTELY HORRIFIC WAY FOR TOJI TO REAPPEAR

I guess that answers the question of if Megumi would be able to recognize his dad. The answer is no!

"His fangs were constantly directed towards the strongest." That doesn't bode well for Megumi later on

Update from 8 minutes later: I WAS RIGHT, IT DIDN'T BODE WELL

PLEASE TELL ME THAT NANAMI AND MAKI ARE FIREPROOF???

"Now there should be at least 15 fingers inside Itadori." Oh. Oh no Yuji. This is NOT good for Yuji!

Also also. Is that the BEST way to say it? Is it?

"Below us, there's a man in monk's robes with a suture across his forehead. Please kill him." I feel like Nanako and Mimiko's request will go over well, purely because they're deferential and they're women and Sukuna seems like the type to be entertained by women. Plus, they're asking him to kill, which he loves doing. Although he does hate being told what to do, so it's a toss-up

Well, I think holding the finger above Sukuna's head (metaphorically) turned the tables against them

Rest in pieces, Nanako and Mimiko (literally, unfortunately)

"You're true to your word, yes?" I thought the pact with Yuji involved Sukuna NOT killing any humans while he's running his body? I feel like that constitutes not being true to your word

Fhkjhkjhgkjhggh you know, fair on what's-his-face for just stalling. He's not strong enough to help Gojo, clearly!

I wonder at what point during getting his ass beat will Megumi learn that it is his father doing the beating

"What's your name?" "Fushiguro?" "It's not Zen'in? I'm glad." Evil Dilf wins one (1) dad point by killing himself in front of his son to prevent his evil instincts from murdering him????

Jogo said: My real desire was the very human experience of wishing for Daddy (Sukuna) to say he was proud

UNWILLING TO BELIEVE THAT SUKUNA HAS A FRIEND. UNREALISTIC. BLOCKED!

"Wake up, you shitty sorcerer!" said Blond Bitch, as if he were not wholly responsible for Megumi being unconscious by attacking him from behind

Ahhh Megumi thinking of Gojo, who has always believed in his strength, and who disapproved of his fallback of giving up his life

"Urgent business." Sukuna said: Team Gojo is incorrect. Megumi is MY special little man 💞🗡️👅 Bye Uraume!

Until Sukuna actively does something to Megumi. I am kind of obsessed with how obsessed he is. He's evil, but he's got weird crush, it feels like. Grimdark Greedl!ngfan until proven otherwise

NOT MEGUMI MENTALLY APOLOGIZING TO YUJI FOR DYING!!!!!!!!! THEY ARE SO 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

"Don't die on me. There are things I need you to do for me." He is healing him! They make no effort to make this sound NOT like a weird crush:

Yuji is not going to be well when he finds out how many mass causalities Sukuna has caused in his body

"You might have defeated me, in the state I was in back then. Now you've fascinated me, Fushiguro Megumi!" OBSESSED

I suppose the implication of Shigemo not knowing of his miracle power is that he has been riding through life on luck alone

Sukuna dropping off Megumi to his teachers. What must they think?!

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YUJI. Throwing up is an incredibly fair response to speed-running the memories of mass murder

I don't know how Yuji will ever be able to live any kind of normal life after this:

THANK GOD Nanami's alive. It's like they give you just enough to hope for that you won't stop watching completely

Oh god. If Nanami dies now, I will lose it. WHY ARE YOU STILL FIGHTING!! I mean, I know why, BUT WHY

"I've been here the whole time." Mahito, I swear to FUCK

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Yuji cannot witness whatever Mahito is about to do to Nanami, he is already in the throes of PTSD

"You take it from here." NO, NO, NO NANAMI :(((((((((((((((((((((

I HATE THIS SHOW!!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL

You know, I just don't know what to do with this show. Like I don't see the benefit of continuing. A lot of shows have put me through a lot, but this is the one that I think is hardest to watch, because the deaths mean nothing. It helps nothing. You learn nothing. It's just like, "Enjoy getting to know these people and watch them die in extremely violent circumstances." What am I supposed to root for? That Nobara doesn't die in front of Yuji, like Nanami did? That Gojo gets out of his prison soon enough to see what hell on earth has happened without him? That Yuji doesn't completely fall to Sukuna? That Megumi doesn't end up with all of his friends dead and/or gone? WHAT DO VIEWERS GET FROM THIS

"Itadori Yuji wasn't my only natural enemy?" Honestly. Hard to do commentary now. But good for Nobara:

"You've let me believe that I'm not alone." Yuji <3

I'm back to hopeless. Unless Nobara has some sort of 'you didn't touch my soul, you touched my hammer's soul' trap card

Megumi 🤝 Nobara: Being a menace to bullies as a child

Ah yes, menstrual rice, the tradition we all know about

"Nobara-chan changed after she met Saori-chan." Awww, baby's first role model

Nobara crying for leaving her friend Fumi!!! Sweet girl

"I hope Nobara-chan's doing well," said Saori, before it cut to Nobara definitely not doing well

The visualization of Nobara's previous metaphor of the people with seats in her life, and the way Nobara also has a seat for her younger self. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH:

"Itadori. Tell everyone for me: Life wasn't so bad." NOBARA 😭

The way they all try to fix the shirt together 😭😭😭 Team Gojo

Megumi my boy always ready to take the hit for his friends 💕 Also LMAO @ Gojo, "What's the matter, Megumi?"

I don't blame Yuji for straight up giving up. Me too Yuji

"This is a war to determine which of those will be left standing a century from now." Call me crazy, Mahito, but I don't think people whose main life purpose is torturing people is a legitimate side. Like jujutsu sorcerers exorcise curses BECAUSE of what they do. If a curse's purpose were to make people play baseball or go to the movies, who would kill that?

Even if we buy into the premise of curses fighting for their own existence, it's sort of like, "Team A and Team B are fighting. Team A has killed a lot of Team B over many years. Team B has also done that, but also needs to kick eleven hospitalized children in the face for their enjoyment every day to keep going. What a dilemma!"

We interrupt this programming to say: Never in my life I have been happier to see Todo

"Sukuna killed so many. So I have to save... that many more people." Yuji 😟

"This is not a matter of sins or punishments. The moment we chose to live as jujutsu sorcerers, our lives were no longer bound by such karma." Todo said: Jujutsu sorcerers can do no wrong actually, and that is how I've decided to live my life

Todo said: The greatest punishment is being alive ❤️ Hope that helps!

"Todo-san's little brother doesn't look like him at all." Todo said: Who needs context! Bros for life

"I'm just saying that the chance [that Nobara survived] isn't zero. Please don't get your hopes up too high." Blond Kyoto First Year Baby Brother Nitta sums up energy of this show in a single sentence:

"I'll make sure I take on your share of suffering too, Nanamin." 😨

Ohhhhhhhh I'm glad Mechamaru and Miwa have their chance to talk. Poor Miwa

I honestly fully support Mechamaru manipulating his friends to not be in Shibuya. I wish nobody was in Shibuya, and I'm going through Shibuya this week

"Whatever shape it takes, as long as you're happy, my wish has come true." Romantic Bastard Behaviour

"And that's all thanks to that woman." Wild that Mahito is the first person to acknowledge Nobara's full strength

I appreciate how silly Todo's animations are. They're like, "Here, as a treat."

Back from my vacation in Japan after a couple of weeks and returning to to finish this season, and let me tell you, watching this show in the hours leading up to leaving made for a very harrowing first time at the train station. They use incredibly accurate building modelling in this show. Also, I did get a little Nanami keychain. In any case, I have returned to finish hurting my feelings

Opposite to my prior point, they make all of Mahito's animation as gross as possible

"Forgive me, you pitiful souls." Ahhh, Todo

Mahito using Gojo's split second domain technique to attack his student. GET GOT, MAHITO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Props to Todo for immediately getting rid of his own arm to prevent dying?????????????????????

"And he can't clap his hands anymore." I did wonder how long it would take for the clapping thing to come up. Mahito would probably have won this fight if curses (Hanami, specifically) bothered to tell each other anything. Maybe the real technique everyone needed was communication

Absolute, extreme regret to ever echo Mahito, but: Huh?

Todo touching Mahito just so Yuji could get an opening!!! 😭😭😭

"Instant Spirit of Distorted Killing." Why does the average special cursed spirit form simply look like a particularly sadistic, anthropomorphized tree?

[Narration slide] "There is no sorcerer who can unleash Black Flash at will." Then what's the attack chanting for? Just hoping it'll work?

I don't think I enjoy Yuji's smile being slashed open Joker Style

"I'll just kill you. And if you're ever reborn as another curse, I'll kill you then, too. You can change your name and change your appearance, but I'll still kill you again and again. I don't need meaning or a reason for it anymore. Maybe there will be some meaning to be found from my actions several centuries after I'm dead. But I'm sure I'm just one big cog in the wheel. And I'll keep on killing curses until I rust away." Yuji said: New life philosophy unlocked: Murder your problems until you die 💖

I'm not sure I'm comfortable with HOW Yuji has found inner peace, but he does seem like he has an achievable goal

Fake Geto said: I haven't caused problems in a while! Hope you didn't gain any hope while I was gone.

"No matter what judgment gets doled out to Itadori later now that Gojo is gone, I won't be taking your side. I'm in favour of Itadori Yuji's execution." I can't say I blame Kusakabe for his position

I do wish they'd stop doing this with Mei Mei. Whoever wrote this said: I have feelings for my family that should only be discussed with a psychiatrist 😀

Choso said: Where one brother of Yuji's (Todo) falls, another one rises up (me) like a fucked up little tag team of camaraderie

I also should've known better than to think Mahito might actually die. That's hope! Stupid.

I have never been LESS happy to see the Kyoto School. GO HOME

The payoff for the forced pregnancy storyline they dropped last season is that Fake Geto is Choso's DAD? Disgusting. Terrible. Leave. Kick rocks. You will NEVER be the Evil DILF that Toji is!!!

Alright. Alright. I will allow the Kyoto students to be here for one moment, if only for the comedy of Choso yelling "KAMO NORITOSHI" and Blood-bending Teen Kamo pointing and going, "Watashi? (Me?)" It WAS funny.

"How dare you make me try to kill Itadori? My little brother!" said Choso, like he had nothing to do with that decision

If the payoff for Choso calling Yuji his little brother that Fake Geto is also his dad. I don't want it. I would rather just disintegrate.

"I strongly sensed the death of Itadori Yuji, right before my eyes. Which means that Yuji must also be my blood-related younger brother." 😷😷😷 I don't have words strong enough for how much I wish this episode had ended with 16 minutes ago (it's been 15:55 minutes)

I truly, truly don't want to believe this but does this mean that Kamo and Sukuna had a terrible threesome with Yuji's poor mother to create Yuji? I don't want that. I keep saying it. It's not helping

"Just asking, but you two are strangers, right?" "Worse than strangers. He nearly killed me once already." I like that Todo has set the premise for Yuji simply being called siblings by strangers who have beat the crap out of him, so he's just like, 'Well. It happens.'

"First it was Todo. Are you sure you aren't emitting dangerous pheromones or something?" Panda said: Maybe you just stink of brotherly love, Yuji

Tsukumo said: Me and Choso together will fill the void of Todo being gone

"Japan would practically have a monopoly on cursed energy. Other nations, especially that superpower, wouldn't stand by and allow that." HFFHFJHFKJJH the clouds and angle make the geography a little hazy, but I can only assume this is a shot at the U.S. Yeah, Tsukumo, the U.S. would be the problem with killing everyone who's not a sorcerer! Not anything else!

JJK really said: You thought Megumi was safe just cause he wasn't on screen? SURPRISE. WE ARE GOING TO KILL HIS SISTER:

They are going to elaborate on how the rest of Japan is doing, but NOT on how the Kyoto students get out of this situation

OKKOTSU!!!!!!!!! Resident Nice Little Guy coming to save the day

"That's bad, Rika-chan. Don't overdo it." Hey. Hey. What?

"He cut off Inumaki's arms in Shibuya." WHAT!!!!!!!!! WHEN!!!!!!!

"Satoru Gojo has been deemed an accomplice to the Shibuya incident and is hereby expelled from Jujutsu Society. In addition, any attempt to free him from his seal will be deemed a crime." This is most extreme form of victim-blaming for any one person in anime I've seen

Resident Nice Little Guy Okkotsu is now Resident Yuji Executioner

I can't imagine Megumi will tolerate any of this. He's going self-expel from Jujutsu Society

[Yuji claps] [Numerous cursed spirits emerge out of the water like he's now trying out a Cursed Manipulation Kekkei Genkai] HEY. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

I don't know what to say about this show anymore. I don't know what this was, except exhausting. However, that was more than enough for me. Goodnight.

[stargazerdaisy]

Tagged by @abedsmessedupmeta and @vesperass-anuna

How many works do you have on AO3? 40

What’s your total AO3 word count? 200,109

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I Get The Feelin’ That You Wanna Fall

I Want You to Stay, You Have to Go

Except Your Touch

Couldn’t See You Coming

The Moments In Between

Wow, I didn’t realize my three highest were all Chenford.  Nice!

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do my absolute best to reply to every comment left on my stories.  Interaction with authors was one of the things that got me more actively involved with fandom and led to me writing my own fic, so I try to pay that back.  

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

It’s a toss up.  The Fuse Is Lit, So Stand Back and Watch It Burn is one of the very few (might even be the only?) fics I’ve written that has a confirmed, definite angsty ending, because it’s basically a canon scene where I added in Ward’s inner thoughts.  And well...that didn’t end well for anyone.  But Don’t Go is probably the angstiest, despite it being an intentionally and very ambigious ending.  I think the ambiguity adds to the angst and I got a much bigger reaction from readers for it.  

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the strangest one you’ve written?

Not really.  I don’t have a lot of personal attraction to crossovers (they’re really, really hard to do well and serve all of the characters properly).  I applaud people who can do them well, I’m just not intrigued enough to try.  I’ve joked around with little headcanons and daydream ideas here and there that I discuss with friends, but nothing that I have sat down to actually write and publish.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Surprisingly no.  I actually haven’t really gotten any hate, either on fic or in anon asks.  Maybe I joined the fandoms too late or maybe I’m too boring to pick on.  Either way, works for me!

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Siiiiiigh.  This is a weird one for me.  No, I do not write smut.  I do however cheer on my co-writers to write the smut for our stories.  And I have definitely helped choreograph and beta’d smut (making sure everyone get their clothes off is harder than you think).  But writing smut myself is one of those lines that I drew for myself, whether it makes sense to anyone else or not.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of.  But it’s one of the things I’ve always been concerned about when people have asked to translate my fics (which is also incredibly flattering!).  

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Hahahahahahahahha.  Yes. I’ve done headcanon ‘verses with @vesperass-anuna and @agentramsey where we exchanged prompts and wrote stories for each other.  In those, the individual stories were each written by us, but all together, the whole collection was definitely co-written.  And then there’s @evieoh with whom I co-write a TON of stories.  Seriously, all of my best stories are the one we co-wrote.  And we really and truly co-write.  There are scenes that one or the other of us wrote, but there are parts where we literally alternated sentences or even words.  It’s a very enmeshed process.  Bless Google Docs!

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Skyeward.  Chenford is working hard to climb up there, but at the end of the day, Skyeward has my heart, my ass, and my soul.  Just the other day I was listening to random songs and having major feelings about them with Skyeward.  

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Alias AU.  It’s just too big for our brains to handle.  We have SO MUCH of it mapped out, but there’s a lot of mythology that needs to be detailed, and we’re just not gonna get there.  So we scaled it down to Blalias AU, as we nicknamed it.  Hopefully we’ll work our way through that.

What are your writing strengths?

Banter.  For sure.  I love writing dialogue.  

What are your writing weaknesses?

Action. Don’t think I can do it at all.  But then again a lot of my fics are in settings that don’t require a lot.  Also, slow burn is actually hard to write!  I just want them happy and comfortable in a relationship.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I don’t really do it, mostly because I don’t have a good reason to in the stories that I write.  As a reader, I like a little bit, like a sentence or two, where you can guess the meaning from context.  And I really love little terms of endearment (bless Darklina fic for all the Russian endearments) in other languages.  But if there are big blocks of dialogue, I just skip over them.  If there’s a translation, then it takes me out of the story, and if there isn’t, I’m not going to go look it up, so.... yeah.  As a writer, if I had a reason to use another language, 1) I would make sure I got the translation from an actual human that speaks it (i.e. not Google Translate) and 2) it would be just a line or two that wouldn’t need a separate translation to understand.  

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Very very very first, was Hanson.  Yup, that Hanson.  I even turned in a self insert fanfic as a Creative Writing assignment in high school.  I still can’t decide if my teacher knew what it was and died laughing at me or had no clue because he was an old grizzled English teacher who would rather listen to jazz than Mmmbop.  But like, as intentionally writing fic, it was actually Skyeward.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Hmmm.....that’s really really hard.  I loooove Couldn’t See You Coming (Skyeward Soulmate AU I wrote for Evie’s birthday a few years ago).  I think Finders Keepers is my best single fic.  And From My Hands, I Could Give You (Restaurant AU) might be the one I’m the very most attached to.  I haven’t updated it in 2+ years, but I still think about it and daydream plan for it on a near-daily basis.  

Tagging: @universallongings, @firstdegreefangirl, @inthemovingcastle

[kirishwima]

001- mysme? 👉👈

001:

Favorite character: It’s a tie between V and 707! It’s impossible to choose I love them both for different reasons

Least Favorite character: :-))

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): MC x all of them lmao, Yoosung x 707, Zen x Jumin, Jaehee x Zen, Yoosung x Saeran :D 

Character I find most attractive: ;-; V...he’s so handsome

Character I would marry: V!! He’s 100% marriage material

Character I would be best friends with: Yoosung, we’re so alike lmao but I’d probably tease him all the time poor bby

a random thought: i lov Baehee,,,sm,,,,,,babey,,,

An unpopular opinion: I think I shared a lot of those in the past couple of days lmao XD

My Canon OTP: 707 x Honey Buddha Chips ;)

My Non-canon OTP: mm 707 x Yoosung I guess-I like to think they end up together when MC’s on any other route!

Most Badass Character: ???? Zen??? He barges in a high-security apartment fists ready bc he saw a bad dream?? he’s ready to punch the life out of Unknown?? he was in a gAng?????? Zen’s badass my dudes

Most Epic Villain: .....Not Rika that’s for sure

Pairing I am not a fan of: There’s quite a few I’m not a fan of but don’t mind, but the one ship I genially dislike is Rika x V, or worse, Rika x Saeran. Like...no.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA Jihyun Kim.

Favourite Friendship: V and Jumin! They cherish one another sm :(

Character I most identify with: maaan 707.....we are way too alike lmao

Character I wish I could be: Jumin so i could know what it’s like to have m o n e y nah lmao, I guess being Seven would b pretty cool....that brain OwO -send me a fandom/ship/character-

[txeiii-blog]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

 Happy 19th Birthday loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!!! Sadly, this year will be our first birthdays without seeing each other since 2014 and im sure more will come ._. haha sad kaayo no? but okay lang hahaha daghan pa events na di ta magkakita haha ako na gi ready ako self slowly. PERO BISAN KATO NAA KA DRI DI MN GHAPON TA KITA HAHA GRR. 

This will be the last year of being a “teenager” 

hahahaha cherish your moment before you become twenty ^_^ thank you for always listening to my rants and problems in life hehe my venting machine :> pero usahay nlng karon hahaha busy naman. Thank you for coming into my life :> thank you for always coming back despite everything that has happened. Thank you for spending some of your time with me :> thank you for always letting me bite you, gitik you and stuff hehe... i am so grateful for staying despite my attitude and thank you for always making me happy. Daghan pa kaayo ko ipasalamat but haha taas na kaayo. Mura nanig anniversary message pod or unsa kay wa man tay monthsary na or anniversary HAHAHA uyab ta? haha mga birthday man pod to nato nagka okay ta balik hehe very nostalgic lol who would've thought you'd come back HAHA tho there are changes unlike the old alfred who;s very clingy, sweet, and cheezi haha nido ka ba? salamat kaayo sa mga memories na imo hatag haha bisan unsa paka karon hahaha sweet btaw ghapon ka usahayyy haha charot. Stay humble and kind baby!! :) I’m sure you’ll become a great person in the future. I’m sure you’ll be a great father in the right time hehe because you love your family so much. Thank you for always taking care of me when I need it charing. Caring kau ka I hope u know that. Thank you for all the silly things we did that made me laugh hahahaha cute jud nimo oy Amazing jud kayo ka because you've inflicted something in me since 2012 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA nadala sa "nido ka ba?" luul btw mingaw na kaayo ko nimo :( 1 week pa lang gani hahahaaha anyways let's just make ourselves better HAHA charot you work hard there while im here, lying my lazy ass and eating Sorry kaayo kay usahay wakoy klaro ka chat wakoy ma storya hehe sad jud kaayo ko ana promise di lng ko ganahan ishare ang sadness kay kaybaw ko mas sad dira wa imo family :) cheer up all the time ^_^  Sorry pod basta padong ko dug'on mangloud jud ko dayon HAHAHHA please sabta lng jud ma okay rajud ko ana :p daghan kaytag wa nabuhat naabot nalang ka dira sa uclm HAHA let’s laag more when we can and do more stuffs hehe i love you so much jud bweset ka hahahahhaahhaha kal

and you know what? I learned something after you tucked in yourself there in UCLM hehe and that is making the most of the time (even the shortest time) together while we still can ^o^ hehe dugay nmn ko nakaybaw but lahi ra ang feeling karon na we’d really have to do it in reality because of the career that you choose hehe sugod na di magkakita.

Stay positive (charot ako pa ingon ani noh haha) and always look at the brighter side for all of your sacrifices will result to greater and wonderful things in life. Always take care of yourself their in your painintheass school zz. Stay strong and dont get sad like me hahahaha :p study smart not hard klase na baya mo this monday ^o^ im always here if you need me :) but i know usahay rako ma need hahahahahahahahaha charot be happy there pero seriously, if you need me ill always listen and I’d gladly appreciate it. You can share your problems with me love  ^_^ see you by the time God will let us see each other hehe. Always remember that I love you so much and I will always wait for you :> ...here in the Philippines.. Cebu, Naga, Tina-an, Tapon, Luyo sa Iglesia, Unahan sa manggahan HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY AND I LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER :*

p.s. my thoughts are random because im a random person HAHA bogo bya ko hehe love u im sorry

[daniellathemermaid]

hi tumblr may kwento ako for this week hahahahahaha kase ang funny and very unfortunate at the same time hahahaha so last sunday, may sipon me and sore throat tapos nung sunday night na nagkaron ako ng bara sa ears parang may liquid sa loob ganon eh bothered ako edi di ako nakatulog naiyak iyak pa ko ganon so monday na first thing in the morning nagpunta kami ni mommy chinese gen para magpacheck up I'm dating someone kase so akala nya naconfine ako visit nya daw ako sa hosp sabi ko hindi check up lang tas nung nasa bahay na ko magisa puntahan nya daw me kase kawawa naman ako dalan nya daw ako food tas sabe ko ok lang kaya ko naman papasok ako kase need na matapos ng approval sheet for thesis tapos pumasok na me kaso wala naman nangyari kase Tuesday na daw ipapasa ung dinrawing kong 20 insects kakairita pumasok pa ko sayang energy tapos eto na hhahahahahahah sabe ng bebe ko sunduin nya daw ako school sabi ko wag na punta ko bambang bibili ako ng lab materials for thesis tapos hahahahahaha sabe nya puntahan nya na lang daw ako sa bambang if ayaw ko pasundo tas sabe ko ok ikaw bahala tapos edi yon nauna me bambang tas nagulat ako paglabas ko sa reman ((store yon)) nandon na sha uber who hahahaha so edi pagpasok ko sa kotse nya, sabi niya can I check your temp tapos nilagay nya back of hi hand sa neck ko then sabe nya lika na hatid na kita sa inyo or kain tayo? kaso tumunog bigla ung sa gas wala na daw shang gas hahahahaha nagexplain pa sha kase daw late na sha nung umaga kaya hindi na sha nakapagpagas lucky him meron ng petron sa may kanto tapos nagpalagay pa siya ng something sa break after non, kain daw kami ano daw ba gusto ko sabi ko gusto kong matulog tapos si gago nagpark sa gilid ng mga store tapos lika na daw tulog na kami :(((((( tapos sabe nya can I hold your hand :c gagong to I'm soft hahahahahaha char tapos gusto ko daw ba mmakita city lights sabi ko sige y da fuck not tapos papunta kaming roxas sa binondo kami dumaan e traffic don so kung san san pa kami napunta para makaiwas sa traffic pero traffic sa lahat tapos everytime may traffic lights hinahawakan nya kamay ko :c bitch I am weak tapos nung sobrang traffic sabe nya can I kiss u hahahahahahahahha eh diba mga mare may sakit ate nyo gurl so sabe ko sure ka ba kase may sakit ako baka mahawa ka tapos sabe nya okay lang tapos edi nag go na tas traffic lights ulet tas sabe nya please tas sabe ko bahala ka mahahawa ka sakin tas sabe nya okay lang daw oh lika na magshoes ka na tapos nagkiss kami sa lahat ng traffic lights papuntang roxas gago uwi na kayo hahahahahahhaha tapos nagpark kami sa may seaside :c ala lang nanuod lang kami ng stars habang nakacuddle bahala kayo isipin nyo pano kami nagcuddle sa shotgun seat huhu goodbye baka mattacht na q charot tapos nung otw na kami sa bahay ko, sabe ko feeling ko wala na kong sipon hahahahahahahaha tas sabe nya feeling nya may ubo na sha :c bitch that was fast tapos Wednesday nagtext siya sakin mga around 10 pm sabi nya guess what tas sabe ko y sowi jwu tas naadmit daw sha sa Makati med :cccc pota ung bebe ko naover fatigue daw :((((( nahawa na, nahospital den hahahahahahahhaa goodlord kakalabas nya lang hospital kaninang umaga eh anong araw na ba today sabado three days shang nakaadmit :c huhu di q na sha kikiss hanggang di pa ko magaling hahahhahahaha yon okay lesson ditto is wag magkikiss kapag may sakit kahit okay lang sa ikikiss mo okay goodnight mahal ko kayong lahat sana gumaling na ko tbh last time may dugo sa sipon ko :c

[arthurflecksgirl]

Up on stage /Arthurs POV

My version of Arthur stand up comedy scene at Pogos

I`m standing at the corridor at Pogo`s, checking my journal. The dim, green light should calm me down but it doesnt. The guy upstage is telling some lame jokes about sex. People approve.They always do when it comes to jokes about sex. I`m not sure why they do, I barely understand the punshlines myself. But I guess I have to work on that. I barely listen to him because I´m up next and my mind is all over the place, trying to focus on what to do as soon as I pass that doorway, telling myself that I practiced this the best way possible.

My hair looks fine, I wear some decent clothes, put two  sleeping pills in my mothers oath meal. And cologne.The expensive cologne I stole a couple of days ago is for Sophie. She must be sitting in the audience already, waiting to see my show. Thats what makes me most nervous. Everyone`s opinion is important to me but hers hits different. I really want to be that special guy to her. The funny one that makes her laugh on a cloudy day. And it`s cloudy outside. And inside and inside of me. But I bet inside of Sophie the sun never sets. I imagin her at a beach. Sun kissed skin, the smell of salt and the wind in her hair. I`ll play her some songs. taking her hand, walking barefoot through the sand.....Another daydream palying in my head.

I cant wait to see her beautiful eye lightening up, whileshe is laughing at my jokes. She never heard one of my jokes and I`m pretty nervous about it, but I guess thats the whole point.  I gotta get through this to suceed . The funny thing is... I WANT to be onstage.  But at the same time I get so nervous and all sweaty because I want to get it right. I always put pressure on myself when I want to get it right. But I need it to be a perfect experience for everyone in this room. I want them to remember me and go like "Wow, this Artur guy, he really made me laugh. His jokes are the BEST." That would make me proud of mysef.

"I think most woman look at sex like buying a car.You know like, can I see myself in this long term? Is it save? Is it reliable? Could it kill me? "....

I try not to concentrate on the comedians voice. His freaking jokes are distracting me. I don`t think he`s funny at all.

Is my hair still okay? I check it. Ran my fingers through it carefully as I make my way to the doorway and wait for my name to be called. I take a deep breath. Sweaty palms and all. A scratchy feeling in my throath. Calm down Arthur, this is what you want in life. Right? This is your dream. You can make it!

"Alright this next comedian describes himself as a lifelong Gotham resident, who from a young age was always told that his purpose in life was to bring laughter and joy into this cold dark world...."

I notice that he holds in for a second "Um...okay....." .I dont like the sarcastic undertone in his voice. He acts like I made too much of a deal out of this. Like the world isnt even THAT dark. Let me tell you it is. It is for people like me.  Nevermind this guy. I just spotted   Sophie sitting in the back. Beautiful as usual. I wonder if my name is echoing in her head. ARTHUR.

"Please help me welcome Arthur Fleck, Yàll. Arthur Fleck".

Alright. Thats my call. The applouse feels good but bittersweet. Like a summer rain at the end of a hot day.  I wave at Sophie and smile at her. Disctraction. A good one but I stumbe, tryng not to let it show how much this was setting me off.

Smile Artur. Smile. You practiced this a thousand times at home.

I place myself in front of the mircrophone and take a look at the audience. Its my job to make them happy now. They are waiting for me to make them happy. All that weight on my shoulders. But I know I can do this. I`ve got my journal with me and some jokes to tell. I try to breathe but its hard. Like the breath itself got stuck in my throath and transformed into something else. Manifesting into a bundle of fear. My forehead feels hot. I guess its glimmering from sweat. The spotlights will make it show. People will notice how nervous I am. Thats no good. Not at all. But I can do it. and I will. I just have to tell them...

"Hello....."

Fuck! My voice is nothing but a whisper that cracks under the weight that is shadowing my heart. I`m short of air and I know what this means. Its the first sign of the laughter trying to get through. .

Why Arthur? You are where you supposed to be. On stage!”

I`m talking to myself in my head. Which makes it even worse. Having a conversation with myself never managed to calm me down before. Why do I even try? Its hot. Its all so hot. This room, the spotlights, my skin,... And tight. I`m trapped in a little box. This room is the box and my body is another and my mind is another. And my breath is filling all the boxes and it can`t escape. I can`t breathe.

Funny when you think about how much I wanted to be here.

I giggle to myself. Swallow a quiet laugh. My eyes searching for something to focus on.There is nothing. "Hm hm hm hm hm..." I hear myself chuckeling. I havent even said  another word. This is going to be harder than I thought. I try  to hold thats smile. For them. For Sophie. Maybe they all think this is part of my act.

"Hello, good to be here....."

Hearing myself trying to make it though is painful and hilarious at the same time. I feel the pain but this other part of me? Makes nothing but fun of it. Maybe this other part is right after all. Maybe this part is the better comedian. Tragic comedy was always my favorite. Its so close to real life. Whatever that means.

I crack up, turning my back on the audience so  can`t see my face. I dont want them to see my pain. They would be so irritated. Not sure if this works as a part of my act anymore. This has already gone too far.

They`ll think there is something wrong with me. I know it. They now realize. They will think I´m a freak. Proof them wrong, Arthur! You`ve got some jokes in your pocket and they will work so well ! I lean forward, laughing  hard covering my mouth with my hands. This never works. My lungs start to hurt.

C`mon . tell that joke you just figured out. Its a good one. They will love it. And if they`ll love it, they will love you.

"I hated...."  hm uurg... I  need some air.

My heart is pounding  in my chest. I thought I would feel like a big star up on stage but the world gets bigger and I am small. So small. I dissappear for a second and i keep coming back.

I cant keep up with it. My hand grabs my throath . Painful laughter. I close my eyes for a sec, trying to imagin empty seats. Only Sophie being left. Does it help? No. I need my audience. I need people to see me.

The world gets smaller. All the world is being trappeed in this tiney room right now. And I get bigger. I grow out of myself.Like a plant towards the spotlight.

Thinking about Alice in wonderland.

One pill makes you smaller. The other one makes you taller....

A cough.

"I....I hated scool as a kid....." hahahhahahahahah.

Flashbacks torture my mind. My teacher yelling at me to stop laughing. He looks like Hoyt. Me hiding behind the trash cans after scool so the other kids wouldnt find me and call me a freak. My small body filled with tears but not one comes out. Only laughter. Their voices when they found me. "Do you think thats funny, Arthur? Do you really think thats a joke?"

I bury my face in my elbow, hoping the laughter wouldnt be as loud. Trying to avoid standing in front of the mic.

For god`s sake Arthur, just tell your joke.

I stand up straight and look at the people sitting in their seats. I cant really see their faces or reactions. But its quiet. Too quiet. They dont know what to do. Just like me. Just like me. Just like me.  What should I possibly do to save the evening?

"I hated scool as a kid" ...hahaha....

"My mother would say * You should enjoy it. One day you have to work for a living*"

Oh I did a great job imitating her voice. I`m finally on the right path to do this.

"No I won`t Ma. I`m gonna be a comedian"...... hahahahahahahahha.....

..

No laughter? Its so quiet. Too quiet.

I look up to Sophie. She`s smiling and I´m proud of myself.

Time for the next one...

Oh my god.

Whats up next? I can`t remember.

I nervously turn the pages with shaky hands and sweaty palms. All i can find are pornographic cut outs. People notice and the`re laughing. More than they did at my joke. Shit. I dont want this to get out of hands. This was just getting better.

."Um...." I go through some more pages. This is for Sophie. She smiled once and I will make her smile again.

"Here`s one....! You know...I was just thinking the other day: Why are the rich people so confused all the time?"

My journal says POOR people but I dont notice because all I can think of is Sophie.

Rich or poor...poor or rich... Its people in general that doesnt make any sense.

But then suddenly...I do!

I`m starting to make sense right now. Here up on stage with smiling Sophie looking at me with her dark, shiney eyes.

The music starts playing. What a perfect timing.

"Because they dont make any cents!"

I spread my arms and people start laughing.

What a great punchline.

The spotlight kisses me softly.

I killed it tonight.

Finally.