#but I am a little upset that you didn’t even offer to check on me afterwards or say you can call me or anything

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[hanjisungs-bigtittyg0thgf]

Aphrodisiac

rival!seonghwa x fem!reader

Trigger warnings: mentions of anxiety

Content warnings: oral (f receiving), names (baby, sweetheart, pretty), choking, spitting, a little bit of hair pulling, seonghwa is actually obsessed with you

Summary: your colleague-turned-enemy pulls a prank on you.

Word count: 6.8k

A/N: so i actually got this request like a year ago buttttt life happened and i'm just now publishing it. anyways i hope you all enjoy it and will continue to support this blog by reblogging my work and commenting your thoughts! much love, angels. <3

Tags: @bahng-chrizz

Smut below the cut

“I’m sorry, what?” You both said at the same time, eyes wide.

“Yes, unfortunately we only have one room left. We can prepare a walk letter for one of you to take to another hotel just a few minutes away and we will pay for your stay, but unfortunately we are fully booked.” The front desk clerk offered an apologetic smile.

“Okay…um…give us just a moment.” Seonghwa pulled you back from the desk as soon as you spoke, his expression dark.

“I’m not leaving, y/n, I’m fucking exhausted.”

“I wasn’t going to suggest you do. I’m more than happy to turn around and go back home.” You sighed, swiping your hand across your forehead. “Listen, if you’re staying here then I need the car. I don’t give a fuck how we do this, I just want to lay down.” Your lack of snark was concerning to him, given your usual form of communication was bickering.

He was silent for a few seconds before letting out a sigh. “Look, why don’t we both stay? You can cancel your reservation and save yourself the hassle of going somewhere else. I’ll get a rollaway bed and you can have the huge bed.”

Your cheeks flamed at the idea and you weren’t sure if it was due to indignance or something else. Even so, you caved quickly. “Are you sure?”

“We used to be friends, we can manage three nights together.” He rolled his eyes. The words ‘used to be’ hurt for some reason.

“Okay. But any funny business and I’ll hurt you.” You gave a warning glare before stepping back up to the desk. “You can cancel my reservation and give him the room.” You said before excusing yourself, making room for him at the desk.

That was how you’d landed yourself in your current predicament. “I’m a fucking idiot for letting you talk me into this.”

“You’re an idiot for less but okay.” He shrugged as he dropped his bag on the bed. “It’s not my fucking fault they ran out of rollaway beds. It’s also not my fault you’d rather eat rusty nails after having your wisdom teeth removed than share a bed with me.”

“Actually that last part is entirely your fault.” You snorted humorlessly as you rifled through your bag for your pajamas. A cold knot of anxiety settled in your stomach once more when you couldn’t find them. “Oh are you fucking kidding me?” You mumbled to yourself as you checked your bag again. Nothing. “Way to fucking go, y/n.” You sighed and held out your hand. “I need the keys.”

“For what?” Seonghwa asked even as he reached into his pocket.

“I can’t find my fucking pajamas.” You sighed again and he watched with concern as you raked a hand through your hair. “I’m pretty sure I left them on my bed when I was packing.”

Instead of the keys, a shirt landed in your hand. “I’ve got some basketball shorts too. They’ve got a drawstring so they’ll fit.”

“You’re being awfully nice.” You said cautiously. “What’s the catch?”

“No catch. I’m just not prepared to comfort you if you start crying - by the way, you look like you’re about to.” His usual sass was tinged with something else but you were sure it wasn’t concern.

“I am not.” You huffed before squashing your irritation as he handed you the shorts. “Thank you.” You mumbled begrudgingly as you made your way to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

Left alone, he heaved out a sigh. What was he doing? He never really hated you, he was just upset over being passed on for the promotion and was mad that you were offered the position when you didn’t apply for it. He was more mad that you didn’t take the offer. He could’ve gotten over his jealousy had you not turned down the position but it felt like a slap in the face that you wouldn’t take something that was being offered to you when he would’ve pounced on the opportunity.

Now he was faced with the uncomfortable reality that he still had feelings for you and would be in extremely close proximity to you for three nights but you couldn’t stand him. Had things not soured between the two of you, he likely would’ve made a move during a trip like this. Now he was left with his feelings and no hope of having anything more than a series of arguments with you.

His heart stumbled to a halt for a brief moment before kicking into overdrive when you came out of the bathroom, hair wet from a quick shower, his clothes dwarfing your frame. Part of him was dying to get his hands on you, to kiss and claim every inch of you. You looked absolutely delectable wearing his clothes and his possessive streak was about to rear its head.

Instead, he cleared his throat and turned away. “It’s about time. Do you always take forever to get dressed after a shower?”

“Well now I'm tempted to take even longer next time. Don’t play with me.” You gave a fake smile as you circled the bed to where your bag still was. You lifted it off the bed and placed it on the floor by the nightstand then turned the sheets back and grabbed the can of disinfectant spray from a shopping bag. The two of you had already stopped by the store and you’d grabbed a small can.

“Is this really necessary?” He frowned in annoyance even as he humored you and followed suit, moving his things and turning his side of the sheets back.

“Yes it’s necessary. Do you know how many people touch these sheets even after they’ve been washed? Or how dirty those laundry rooms actually are? And don’t even get me started on the duvets.” You cringed as you began to spray the bed down, lifting the pillows on your side before circling the bed and working on his side.

“And we’re about to make it dirty by sleeping here. What is your point?” He rolled his eyes and grabbed his clothes from where he’d placed them on the opposite night stand. “Whatever. Have your fun. I’m going to shower.” And with that, he left you alone.

Once you were satisfied, you placed the can back in the bag and crawled into bed, cutting the light on your side off. You drifted off before he was even out of the shower.

When he returned, still toweling his hair, you were fast asleep. He was quick to turn the other light off to keep from disturbing you, even though he wasn’t ready to bed down just yet. He stood over you and watched for a moment, taking in the planes of your face. You looked so worried, so fatigued. What had changed for you in the time that your friendship had fallen apart? He didn’t think too hard about it and got in bed as well.

————————————————

Your presentation had been a failure and you were currently nursing your wounds at the hotel bar, trying to avoid Seonghwa. You knew he’d mock you and you couldn’t handle that at the moment.

You let out a deep sigh when he found you, turning further away from him when he sat beside you. “Please don’t.”

“Don’t what? Remind you of how badly you fucked that up?” He paused before feigning apology. “Oops. Too late.”

“Seonghwa please just stop.” You felt a lump forming in your throat and reached into your purse for your wallet.

“Why? You’re the one who screwed up, not me. You can’t seriously expect me to feel bad for you.” He did but he couldn’t stop digging the hole deeper.

“Seriously. Stop.” You forced out, rifling through your wallet as pressure built behind your eyes.

“Listen, I'm sorry you’re not good at public speaking or whatever, but that’s not my problem. It’s not my job to be your bestie.”

“Yeah, fucking obviously.” You finally spat as you tossed down a twenty and stood. “Just leave me the fuck alone, Seonghwa.” Your face was red and your vision was starting to blur with tears so you hurried off towards the elevator, not wanting to let him see you cry.

It wasn’t your fault you bombed the presentation. Your anxiety had choked out every word you’d tried to say so you’d fumbled through each slide and he’d stepped up, covering the information in a more coherent manner. If he’d been anyone else, you would’ve found comfort in the support, but he wasn’t someone who did things because he cared.

You stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for your floor before repeatedly smashing the ‘door close’ button but it was too late. He’d managed to get an arm in the door before it shut and stepped inside, an unnerving amount of concern etched on his face. Why was he concerned? He loved seeing you pissed off.

“Y/n…” He reached a hand out but you jerked your arm away as the doors slid shut.

“Don’t fucking touch me, Seonghwa.” Your voice cracked and you turned away so he couldn’t see the tears starting to fall.

“Y/n, stop.” He grabbed your arm more forcefully this time and spun you around. You looked down so he couldn’t see you properly and he just sighed as he pulled you into his chest. “I’m sorry.”

Those two words broke something in you and your shoulders shook with a silent sob. He rubbed circles on your back as you cried into his chest, his familiar scent slowly seeping into your bones and calming you as you finally reached the tenth floor after several minutes. Why the fuck was the elevator so slow anyways?

As soon as the door opened, you untangled yourself from him and headed off towards your room without a word. You weren’t sure what to say.

The second the door was shut, he reached for you again. “Y/n, we need to talk.”

“We’ve needed to talk for two years. Why now?” You were tired of trying to figure out what he wanted. Tired of the fighting that only seemed to encourage his irritating ways.

“Because I'm tired of hurting you.” He sighed, gently squeezing your bare shoulders. His warm hands on your skin offered a measure of comfort you hadn’t realized you needed.

“Why? You hate me.”

“I never hated you. I was angry at you.” He corrected, urging you towards the desk chair and forcing you to sit before he propped on the desk. “I didn’t understand how you could pass up such an amazing opportunity and I was angry that you didn’t want it as much as I did. It pissed me off that you could want to miss out.”

“Seonghwa, I never wanted that position. I’m comfortable where I'm at.” You sighed and crossed your legs. “Have you ever considered why I didn't take it?”

“I just said that.”

You ignored his snarky tone and carried on. “Not only did I not want the job, I knew that you did. It was partially out of self-preservation and partially out of respect for you.”

“If you’d respected me as much as you say, you would’ve taken the job and not seemed so ungrateful.” He deadpanned and you felt more tears, this time from frustration.

“I just told you I didn’t want it!” You exclaimed, uncrossing your legs and leaning forwards. “You saw what happened today. That would’ve been every day if I’d taken the promotion. It’s embarrassing and anxiety-inducing, something I frankly don’t need more of. I’m not mentally strong enough for that humiliation. I didn’t want to take it because I knew I’d fail.” You said bitterly as you stood and kicked off your heels. “And for the record, I told them you were a better fit. So if you want someone to be mad at, be mad at them. Not me. I tried to get you the job.” You spat and then you stormed into the bathroom, leaving him sitting in silence.

It took you fifteen minutes to get ready for bed and when you emerged from the bathroom, he was sitting on the foot of the bed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think to consider the full reasoning behind you turning down the promotion. I was just so angry that you were chosen and still refused.”

“You’ve always been more ambitious than me. You’re more comfortable in your own skin than I am. More confident.” You shrugged and sat on your side of the bed.

“Which is sad, quite honestly.” He smiled humorlessly. “Listen, I know this is my fault. Can we agree to stop the feud?”

“That depends on you. I don’t instigate, I react. So we can only stop this if you stop trying to get under my skin.” You shrugged and laid down, pulling the sheets up to your chin when he stood. “Now go take a shower.” You hummed and flicked off your lamp.

It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep once he left the room but the next morning, you awoke to a strong arm wrapped around your waist. You realized your head was laying on his other arm so you tried to move away but he pulled you in closer. “Seonghwa.” A sleepy grunt was his only acknowledgement. “Why are you cuddling with me?”

“You’re warm.” He hummed, his voice deep with sleep. Holy hell… “Must’ve moved in my sleep.” He hadn’t. He’d been holding you the whole time.

“Okay but you’re awake now. So why are you still holding me?” Your cheeks were rapidly heating at the realization that he was shirtless this time. He made an unconcerned ‘I dunno’ noise and shrugged but made no move to release you. You tried to wriggle away again and his grip tightened.

“Well now I can’t let you go.” His voice was laced with amusement. “Solely because you want me to.”

“Unhand me!” You cried, a smile already on your face as you struggled to get away again. He laughed and pulled you further against him. “Come on, I thought we were gonna act like adults.”

“I never agreed to that. I just said I’d stop being mean.” He pointed out as his fingers dug into your side, earning a soft squeal as you jolted. “And in the spirit of being nice, I won’t exploit your ticklishness right now.”

“You’re such an asshole sometimes.” You rolled your eyes, still smiling even as he finally released you.

“Go get dressed. I’ll make us some coffee.” He hummed. You did as he said, padding to the bathroom after grabbing your clothes. As soon as you were gone, he shot out of bed with a grin, ignoring how perfect you looked in his clothes. Just because he was being nice didn’t mean he couldn’t still prank you.

He brewed the coffee and mixed in the creamer and sugar like you liked - he’d observed you making your coffee many times and knew how you liked it - then dropped in the chocolate. He knew how much you loved chocolate so you’d be thrilled to have it in your coffee. It was like a milkshake with how much creamer was in it.

When you came out a few minutes later, he handed you the cup. “I added something for you.” He hummed, waiting for you to sip the drink, which you did cautiously. Your face lit up at the sweet flavor and you thanked him, not catching the mischief in his smile as you drank in comfortable silence.

“You know, part of me isn’t sure I should trust you just yet.” You admitted a few minutes after finishing your coffee.

“I know. I’m sorry. I’ll do my best to change that, okay?” You nodded and bit your lip as you settled against the headboard. “We’ve got the whole morning free. What do you want to do?”

“Honestly, I kind of want to go back to sleep.” You chuckled as he gathered his clothes to get ready for the day.

“I mean, you could.” He shrugged as he padded to the bathroom. “I’ll be right back.”

In the short amount of time it took him to get ready for the day, you noticed something was off. You were warm and your breathing was picking up. You felt flustered at the memory of his shirtless form, sweats slung low on his hips, and your thighs squeezed together involuntarily. Why were you so turned on?

Your mouth went dry for a brief moment when he came back before watering as you took him in. He was in all black, his button down hugging his chest just right and his thighs looking powerful in his tight pants, and you wanted to pounce on him. What the fuck?

“You good?” He drawled, lifting a perfectly-groomed eyebrow.

“Yeah, why?” You responded immediately. That was far too quick for your liking.

“Because you look like a tomato and you’re eyeing me like a piece of meat.” He paused and made a show of moving closer. “Wait a minute…” He leaned down and examined you for a moment before grinning, faking shock. “Are you…turned on?”

“No!” You practically shrieked.

“You must’ve really liked that coffee.” He snorted as he righted himself.

Everything clicked at his words and your jaw dropped slightly. “What did you do?”

“Oh you know.” He shrugged as he went to his bag and reached inside. “Gave you a treat.” He grinned as he held up the pack of aphrodisiac chocolates.

“You motherfucker-” You chucked a pillow at him, indignation filling your words.

“Should I have one as well? Maybe we can fuck away the animosity.” He wiggled his eyebrows as he opened the box and pulled out the foil packet. When you hesitated to turn him down, his grin grew. “You want that? Want to fuck away all the bad feelings that ever existed between us?”

Your breath hitched as he broke off a piece of chocolate and lifted it to his lips. Finally, you nodded sheepishly. He quickly popped the candy in his mouth and let out a theatrical groan, both for your reaction and because it tasted amazing.

Your cheeks grew hotter at the sound and you averted your gaze, earning a laugh from him. “You’re too cute, y/n. You never struck me as the shy type.” He stalked towards the bed, lifting one knee onto the mattress as soon as he reached. “You wanna know what I think?” When you didn’t respond, he continued anyway. “I think that the second I get you naked, you’ll be a completely different person. You seem like a screamer. I bet you like it kinda wild.”

You hated how your body reacted to his drawl and you especially hated how quickly he figured you out but didn’t say anything to correct him. Instead, you simply accepted his advances when he moved closer and tipped your head back against the headboard. “Now’s your chance to back out.” He warned, his lips a hair’s width away.

Instead of verbally responding, you closed the tiny gap between the two of you. You felt a jolt of electricity when your lips touched. Immediately, something in him changed. He quickly lost his cool and began to devour your lips, his tongue delving into your mouth the moment your lips parted. You could taste the chocolate on his tongue and your pulse ratcheted up.

Your pussy throbbed when he let out a soft groan and you couldn’t stop your hands from moving to his chest. You deftly unbuttoned his shirt as his hands untucked your blouse and began to lift it. The instant you pulled back, your top was tossed aside and he urged you to stand. You didn’t want to move just yet, enjoying the feel of his lips on yours, but you complied quickly and a moment later he was knelt in front of you.

He pressed his forehead to your stomach as he took a steadying breath, then reached behind you to unzip your skirt. “This fucking thing has been taunting me for ages.” He growled as the material slid down your legs, revealing your already-soaked panties.

He pressed a kiss above your belly button, followed by one right below it, then another right above your panties. “How long?” Your voice sounded strange to you, never having been so rough in your life.

“Doesn’t matter. What matters right now is that I get a taste of your pretty pussy.” His gaze was heavy as his fingertips skimmed along your thighs, making your thoughts fuzzy. “May I?” He asked, fingers finally tracing along the edges of your panties.

You nodded quickly and he didn’t bother moving the material before pressing his tongue to you. The motion was meant to tease, as he quickly replaced his tongue with his nose and took a deep breath, groaning at the scent of your arousal.

Long fingers pushed your panties to the side a moment later, revealing your glistening folds to him. “Shit…” He hissed, his eyelids growing heavy as he zeroed in on your slick. Then his tongue was back on you, lapping at your mess. He locked eyes with you and his hands went to your ass, kneading the soft flesh there as his tongue worked you.

Seonghwa ate pussy like he’d been in the desert for days and your body was the first drop of water he’d stumbled across. Like a man starved. He was beyond enthusiastic and you were certain he’d wring you dry of orgasms before noon.

He sucked on your clit while pulling you impossibly closer and your jaw dropped, eyes fighting to stay open. “S-Seonghwa-” Your voice was a breathy moan as your hands tangled in his hair and he growled against you in appreciation, making sure you felt the vibrations.

You tugged at his hair in response and he gave a harsh suck, making your knees weak. You let out a soft curse and felt him smirk against you but couldn’t be bothered to be annoyed with his cockiness. He was too damn good at what he was doing for you to think about anything else.

Your head tipped back after a few minutes, soft moans flowing freely from your lips. You were doing well at keeping quiet so as not to disturb other guests but he’d change that. He was determined to make you scream and cry for him.

A soft nip to your clit had your spine straightening and your eyes flying open. “Oh fuck me-” You gasped at the pain that quickly gave way to pleasure as he soothed the sensitive bud with his tongue.

“Later, baby.” He teased before diving back in with renewed vigor, his tongue working faster as he felt you tensing under his touch. You shot him a glare but bit your lip hard when he laughed against you.

“Shit-” You whimpered, your grip on his hair tightening. He groaned at the sensation and you made another small sound. He knew good and damn well what he was doing to you and you didn’t want it to end, even as the knot in your belly began to unravel. “Oh- ‘m gonna cum-” You warned and he sucked on your clit once more, harder this time.

Your toes curled with the intensity of your orgasm. Your chest heaved and your head fell back as you let out a string of subdued moans and soft curses. Even as you came down from your high, he continued to lap at you and you felt a burning sensation under your skin. You could handle several orgasms but you needed a few minutes between each one.

“Hwa wait-” You whimpered. “Hold on.” You gently pushed him back and he reluctantly pulled away.

“The second I get you undressed and on that bed, my head is going back between your legs.” He warned as he stood, pulling you against him. His stiff cock strained against the confines of his pants, pressing against your belly, and you couldn’t help but reach out and palm him as he tipped your head back for a kiss.

You moaned softly at the taste of yourself on his tongue as he plundered your mouth, noticing the way his cock twitched at the sound. He wasted no time in unclasping your bra and tossing it aside, lightly pinching your nipple a moment later. You squeezed him through his pants in return and he nipped at your lip as he pulled you impossibly closer.

Impatient, you broke the kiss and began to sink to your knees but he stopped you. “Another time, baby. Let me take care of you this time, yeah?”

“But…”

He leaned in so his lips were right by your ear before whispering. “After all our meetings are done for the day, you can do whatever you want. We can come back here and you can have me however you’d like. How’s that sound, baby?”

You clenched around nothing, both at his words and the sound of his voice, rough with desire. “Anything I want?” He nodded. “You don’t know what you’ve just signed up for.” You grinned mischievously as he righted himself and pulled you against him.

“I’m more than happy to be your toy, sweetheart.” He hummed as he hooked his thumbs in the waistband of your panties. “Now let’s get these off so I can keep playing with you.”

He slid the material down your legs and you stepped out of the flimsy cotton only to be pushed backwards onto the bed. He crawled over you with a wolfish grin, one hand caressing your side. “You gonna let me go down on you again, pretty?”

“Please-” You nodded, your voice coming out as a breathy moan.

“Good girl.” He cooed, already moving down the mattress. He knelt beside the bed and hooked your legs over his shoulders, eyes locked on your dripping pussy. “God- you’re so fucking pretty, baby.”

You don’t bother trying to stop his praises, too focused on the way his lips seal around your clit once more. You never would’ve had a chance to respond even if you wanted to.

Instantly, the burn under your skin returned but in a more delicious way. Your hands tangled in his hair, guiding him this way and that. You knew you wouldn’t last long since you’d already had one orgasm so you decided to fully enjoy it and tell him exactly what to do.

Of course, he had other plans. He wanted to appreciate you in ways he’d only been able to dream of before. He wanted to take his time and drown in you. You tasted like Heaven, like he’d always imagined, and he couldn’t get enough.

After several moments of sucking and licking, he decided to try something else. Something he hadn’t been able to do while you were standing. His tongue pressed inside you and you immediately pressed against his touch, his nose bumping your clit at the same time. “Oh- Seonghwa, please-” You gasped out, pulling his hair hard.

He groaned against you at the sting and retracted his tongue only to plunge into you once more. In and out, in and out. He carried on like that for close to a minute before he retreated, tongue flicking over your clit once more. At your whine of dismay, he slid two fingers into you and curled them instantly, finding your g-spot in record time. It was as if he had studied your body for years and knew every inch of you. He’d wanted you for so long that he’d dreamt of doing so.

His impossibly-tight pants were constricting. They were getting on his damn nerves. But he wanted you to be the one to undress him so he didn’t dare try to shimmy them off. Not when he was finally able to bury his face between your legs.

You let out a loud whimper as he scissored his fingers and lapped at your cunt, your back arching off the bed. “Fuck- ‘m close, Hwa-” You warned, thighs beginning to tremble. He was too fucking good and you were too high strung to hold back.

As you clenched around his fingers, coming undone as soon as the words left your mouth, he let out a long groan against you. You felt him shift under your legs but didn’t bother trying to figure out why as you allowed wave after wave of white hot pleasure to cascade over your body, back still bowed off the bed.

He helped you through it, sucking and nipping at your clit until you were certain you’d gone up in flames. You gently pushed him away, chest heaving, and he stood between your legs. “I’m so giving you the sloppiest blowjob later.” You panted, smiling up at him as he moved over you.

“I’ll look forward to it.” He grinned as he leaned down to catch your lips in a messy kiss. You reached for his pants as you kissed and made a small sound when you found a wet patch across the front.

“Did you-”

“Yeah. You tasted too good and looked too perfect for me to hold back.” He admitted shamelessly as his lips trailed to your neck. He was careful not to leave any marks since you had another round of presentations you needed to look presentable for later in the afternoon.

“There’s no reason that should be so hot.” You murmured, slipping your hand inside his soiled boxers. You didn’t care if it was dirty, you needed to touch him. Lewd sounds quickly filled the room as you stroked his cock, pride swelling in your chest when he bucked into your touch.

“Wait.” He stopped you even as he rocked his hips once more. “I need to be inside you. Are you still on the pill?”

“IUD.” You said as you lifted your messy hand to your mouth and began to lap up his cum.

His jaw dropped as he watched you lick your fingers clean, eyes glazing over with lust. “Fucking hell…” He groaned, pulling back abruptly. He wasted no time in kicking off his pants and underwear, trying to clean himself at least a little before he rejoined you on the bed. “You’re going to be the death of me, y/n.”

“There’s worse ways to go.” You teased, pulling him down for another sloppy kiss. Your legs wrapped around his waist, tugging him closer in invitation. A string of saliva connected your lips when he pulled back, which you quickly leaned up and licked away, earning a soft curse. You leaned up once more to whisper in his ear as he lined up. “Fuck away all the bad feelings, Seonghwa. You promised.” Then you gently clamped your teeth on his earlobe, reveling in the choked noise he made.

“You’re a demon.” He hissed as he pressed in, gasping at how tight you felt. You whimpered at the stretch and tugged him closer, lip catching between your teeth. “So fucking tight for me, baby. So perfect.”

You moaned at his words, clenching involuntarily around him. You loved the praise and he knew as much now. He finally rocked his hips and you let out a soft whine at the friction. “You’re so big…” You moaned as you allowed yourself to fall back against the sheets, hair fanning out around your head in a halo.

Stars danced in his eyes as the sight of you beneath him. This was a religious experience and he was already in the clouds. And you were praising him? He felt like he might die if you continued to comment. Your approval was all he ever needed and to get the validation in bed too was enough to have him on edge. He was fighting hard to stay composed so was trying to distract himself with random thoughts but you were clouding his senses and he couldn’t focus on anything else.

He gave a deep thrust and you let out a reedy moan, guiding his hand to your chest so he’d thumb over your nipples. Instead of simply teasing, he pinched you and your eyes rolled back. “Harder.” You demanded, unsure of what you were referring to. Did you want him to pinch your nipples harder or did you want him to fuck you harder?

He couldn’t tell either but gladly did both, relishing the sound you made. “You like that?”

“So much.” You nodded enthusiastically. “Need more. Please?” You pleaded, gasping when he pinched your nipple again.

“So impatient.” He tutted. “I love it. You’re so desperate for me that you can’t wait. How cute.” He continued, his hand sliding up to your throat. “Don’t worry, I’ll train you to be patient.” His smile darkened as he began to apply pressure to the sides of your throat, cutting off blood flow. His hips slowed and you whimpered but he briefly tightened his grip in warning. “Be a good girl and take what I give you, yeah?” You nodded furiously and he snapped his hips forward, knocking the air from your lungs. “Good girl.”

You weren’t on this planet anymore. You weren’t even in this universe. The whole ordeal was so hot that you were in your own world, focused only on the pleasure and the oddly-comforting weight of his body on top of yours.

“Open.” He demanded suddenly and your jaw instantly fell slack. “So obedient.” He cooed as he leaned closer before pursing his lips. Oh god is he about to do what I think? Fuck. You gripped his wrist as he spit into your mouth, a pathetic noise slipping out. “Swallow.” You did so eagerly, your entire body spasming at how hot it was. His jaw dropped at the way you suddenly clenched around him and he quickly pulled out, cumming across your thighs. “Fucking hell, baby. You like it that much? Fuck.” He panted as he stroked himself through his high, groaning when you nodded and reached to rub tight circles over your clit to guide yourself through your own orgasm.

He looked stunning like that. His jaw hung slack, his eyes half-lidded from the intense pleasure. He looked fucked out. He looked so fucking beautiful. He was art.

“Please.” You whispered breathlessly. “One more. Need to cum one more time. Need you to cum one more time. Please?” You begged, vision whiting when he squeezed your throat again.

“So needy, baby. Want me to fuck you so dumb you drool? Is that it?” His tone was nothing but adoring even though his words were meant to sting a bit and your heart throbbed in your chest. Was this more than fucking away tension and animosity? “Flip over. Lemme see that perfect ass.” He pulled away and you quickly complied, wiggling your ass as soon as you were in position. “God- you’re so fucking perfect, y/n. So perfect.” He praised as he squeezed your soft flesh.

“Seonghwa…” You whimpered his name as you tried to push yourself back onto his cock. “I need you so bad. Please?”

“I can’t say no when you ask so nicely, baby.” He said as he lined up and pressed into you. “Fuck- this pussy was made for me, pretty. Feels so fucking good.” He breathed, setting a rough pace from the start. His hips slapped against your ass as he plowed into you, driving you into the mattress.

You couldn’t help but cry out when he slammed into you so hard he knocked you forward. Your knees would be so irritated from the position and the way the sheets rubbed against your skin but you couldn’t care less. You simply wanted to feel him. He was all you needed at the moment.

He suddenly pulled you up from where your face was buried in the sheets and wrapped his hands around your throat for leverage. “You take my cock so well, sweetheart. Like you were made for it. Were you made for me?”

“Yes!” You gasped, jolting when he brushed your cervix. “Yes, I was made to take your cock and anything you give me.”

Lewd sounds filled the air as he repeatedly slammed into you, your mess running down your thighs to mingle with his. You’d need new sheets brought in by the time you were done. You almost felt bad for the housekeepers who would service your room later this afternoon. Almost. You couldn’t feel too bad with Seonghwa balls-deep inside you.

“You’re gonna make me cum.” He warned suddenly as he released your throat and you bit your lip hard. “Where do you want it, baby? I’m already so close.”

“Everywhere.” Your request was simple and it drove him over the edge. He pulled out as he came, covering your ass and thighs with his release. His breathing grew ragged as he allowed the pleasure to overwhelm him and he let out what was easily the sexiest sound you’d ever heard a man make, his voice pitching low in a way that made you clench around nothing.

Before you could reach between your legs to finish yourself off, he was back inside you and working faster than before, even as he began to get overwhelmed from the pleasure. He could feel you tensing with your impending orgasm and he wanted to be the one to send you over the edge one last time before you had to go shower again. “Don’t you dare touch yourself, baby. I’m gonna make you cum. Understood?”

You nodded quickly, thighs beginning to tremble from the sensation overtaking your body. “Yes! ‘M so close, Hwa. Please make me cum. Please!” You begged and he immediately reached around to toy with your clit. Tears sprung into your eyes at the pleasure flooding your body and fire spread beneath your skin.

“I can feel you trembling, pretty. Why don’t you just let go? Cum all over my cock, baby.” He coached and you couldn’t fight it anymore. A cry ripped from your throat and tears began to roll down your cheeks as your final orgasm crashed into you. “That’s right. Just like that.” His deep voice spurred you on as he tangled a hand in your hair, pulling just hard enough for the most delicious sting to spread out over your scalp. “Good girl.” You let out a choked sob at the name, delirious from the pleasure and gratification.

As you slowly came down from your high, he gently released your hair and smoothed his hands down your back. “You did so well for me, sweetheart. So perfect.” You whimpered softly at the praise as you collapsed against the mattress. He slipped out of you and immediately laid beside you, still rubbing your back with one hand. “You okay?” He asked as soon as he saw your tears. You nodded weakly, utterly spent. “Words, baby.”

“I’m okay. That was just…intense.” You murmured, suddenly exhausted.

“It was.” He agreed quietly, reaching to brush your hair back from your face. After several beats of silence, during which he took his time admiring you and playing with your hair, he spoke again. “You’re beautiful, you know.”

Your cheeks heated up and you fought the urge to hide your face. “Can I ask you something?” He nodded so you continued. “Earlier you said my skirt was driving you crazy. How long? You didn’t answer me before.”

“Too long.” When you didn’t respond, he let out a soft sigh and began to explain. “I always felt like shit for it but I've wanted you since day one. The moment we met, I knew I needed you. And seeing you in that damned skirt week after week drove me absolutely insane.”

“Why would you feel like shit for that?”

“Because we were friends. I shouldn’t have wanted you the way that I did. They always say women can’t have male friends because they all wanna sleep with you and I felt like I was only proving that right and risking our friendship.”

“Well if it’s any consolation, I’ve always found you insanely attractive too and have had my fair share of untoward thoughts.” You grinned and he let out a soft laugh. After a few beats of silence you spoke again. “I have another question.”

“Shoot.”

“Why the fuck did you have those chocolates on this trip in the first place?”

“We should get cleaned up.” He hummed as he sat up, clearly not wanting to answer. He had a secretive smile on his face and you rolled your eyes.

“You’re such a pain.” You sighed in exasperation. “Just tell me.”

“Well I hadn’t anticipated being the one helping you with it but I did plan to inconvenience you a bit.” He laughed and you sat up to chuck another pillow at him.

“You’re such an ass.”

“I’m your ass though.” Your cheeks pinked at the thought and you nodded slowly, liking the idea more than you’d anticipated.

“Yeah. I guess you are.”

[agendabymooner]

SOMETHING DIVINE !!! TOTO W. X FEM!READER (18+)

summary: toto shows his appreciation for his pregnant wife. (part two-ish of something intoxicating)

💌 re:moony's planner request: "reader actually getting pregnant after toto fucked her out after a long neglect and him being really exited for this chapter in their life."

content warning: smut under the cut (minors dni!), use of explicit language, insecurities, pregnant!reader, body worship, breeding/impregnation kink, creampie, i did not proofread this lol

note: i am not sure if this was meant to be a fluff or a smut request so i decided to 🤷‍♀️ make it a smut 🤷‍♀️ enjoy xx (also! please don't hesitate to give me your opinion!!!)

something sinful (smut) masterlist

a - n masterlist // o - z masterlist

if you’d like to get on one of my taglists, check this post out

he didn’t think that she could get any sexier than she was before. but alas. 

here she was: her figure, her sweet sweet figure, had a small protrusion on her stomach that indicated a sign of life within her. she was the most attractive woman to have ever existed, and, when they learned that they were expecting, there was a growing sense of protection and primal desire within toto that he couldn’t even explain.

he couldn’t help it; his cock wouldn’t stop from making itself hard after looking at her body. she was growing a life, for fucks sake— and she was doing so in the most amazing way possible. it was making toto hornier than usual. 

but she wasn’t aware of it. in fact, she often voiced out how her skin continued to stretch and showed marks as the baby progressively grew.

her insecurities, ones that continued to grow as much as her baby did, were something she hid away from toto. she didn’t want to make them a big deal considering that he was already stressed enough during this season.

she often spoke to lewis’ physiologist, angela, about this kind of matter and hadn’t approached anyone else as she continued to spend her time at the paddock. if anyone else knew— they’d immediately tell toto. that would mean that she was burdening her husband with this matter. 

toto hadn’t meant to walk in the conversation, but he couldn’t find himself to refrain from listening when she and angela spoke while in the garage.

“the baby’s growing real fast,” angela told the woman with fascination, “i reckon he’d have long legs like his daddy.”

and instead of offering a happy laugh, the woman let out a small pitiful chuckle as angela then asked, “oh no. don’t tell me—?”

toto’s wife sighed, “i dunno. i’m supposed to be happy— and i am! ‘s just—“ she placed her hand over the stomach and rubbed the bulge soothingly. she continued, “i don’t feel like this is me. my body— dunno. it’s silly, don’t you think?” 

“it’s not,” angela reassured the woman. “it’s normal to feel that way. you have to understand that your body is growing a baby and that they require a little more space than food usually does.” 

“i shouldn’t feel bad,” the woman said with a solemn smile, “i’m very excited, really. this is my first kid— this is toto’s first kid. but at the same time i feel like i’d lose his attention the moment this kid pops out and i don’t have the body i used to—“

“hey, hey!” angela gave the woman a warning look, “enough with that. you look absolutely divine— toto would be stupid if he doesn’t appreciate your body and what it’s doing for his son.” 

toto stood behind the door and continued listening. he wasn’t sure if he was upset at his wife for not coming to him sooner to talk about her feelings. but he was certain that he was upset at her for thinking that she wasn’t worth being appreciated because of her body. 

he had to do something. he could still do something as a loving and appreciative partner while she did all the hard work. 

and that’s what he did. he couldn’t help himself when she came out of the bathroom with nothing but a slip dress on that night. the way her silk nightwear accentuated her curves made toto’s cock twitch in his trousers. 

he couldn’t help but sink down to devour every part of her. at first, she wondered what prompted him to act like this— to act so… primal and overly worshipful. but as soon as his mouth attached itself to her tender skin and fragile figure she was long gone, a gasp escaping her lips while she begged for him.

and who was he to deny his pretty, fragile wife? he would be damned if he hadn’t done anything to make her feel loved— he’d give her the world, should she demand it. 

she whimpered quietly as toto thrusted into her cunt gently, her eyes close to tearing up because of how toto treated her like she’s bound to break at some point. 

his hands travelled down her body as he groaned softly, rhythms of his hips slapping against hers were adagio as toto’s thumbs played with her stiff nipples. he hummed, “so eine hübsche frau.” such a pretty wife.

“you should see yourself, schatz,” he growled, his cock bottoming out in her as she let out a loud moan. “you’re growing my baby— our baby. haven’t seen something so beautiful before. fuuuck~ you are so sexy, it makes me want to fuck more babies into you.”

she sobbed desperately, “ngh~ i- toto.” her heels dug into his hips harder as she lifted her hips up to meet his halfway through. “want you.”

“‘m here, liebling,” he murmured, pressing a soft kiss on her forehead as his pace turned up to presto as they both let out endless sounds of pleasure. the tip of his cock reaching her cervix as he began pounding into her relentlessly.

“please fuck me harder,” she begged. “wan’ you to fuck me.”

“i will,” he shushed her, “but i can’t help it. this body of yours- fuck- makes me want to take it slower. you’re so beautiful like this- all pregnant with my baby.” he nipped on her tits as he hummed in satisfaction.

“makes me want to give you more after this one comes out,” he said darkly, kissing her hard as he began to fuck her harder. “gonna give you more and make sure these tits are full of milk.”

“mm, fuck- toto~” she cried out, feeling too overwhelmed by the pleasure and excitement she had gotten out of his words and his actions. 

her cunt clenched around his cock as he chuckled sweetly and said, “oh? you want more kids then? you want to be my pregnant little wife full of my babies?” 

she only nodded frantically. toto continued to fuck her until a loud strangled noise escaped her lips.

“o- oh, fuck. ‘m cumming,” she announced, holding him closer as his thrusts became harder and faster as they both reached their highs. 

“god— fucking hell, schatz,” he muttered hastily, groaning deeply in her ear as he said, “i’m gonna cum. where do you want me?”

“i- inside, toto- fuck!” she cried out, her body shaking as her walls throbbed around him. “cum inside me, please!”

toto’s hips stuttered for a brief moment as he let out a groan, shooting his cum inside her cunt as he thrusted slowly before stilling.

with a breathless sigh, he slowly pulled out of her and watched his cum escape her hole and drip down the mattress beneath her. he looked at her fucked out face lovingly as he gave her another kiss. 

god she really was fucking divine. he wouldn’t be surprised if she was pregnant again shortly after giving birth to their firstborn. 

♡ moony’s reminder 🅶 (general): @hiraethrhapsody @avaleineandafryingpan @topguncultleader @enhacolor @roseandtulips @woweewoowa @magnummagnussen @happy-nico @architect-2015

♡   moony’s reminder 🅴 (explicit edition): @glitterf1 @savrose129

[changbunnies]

All About You (18+)

♡ Pairing: Royal Knight/Bodyguard!Minho x Princess!Reader

♡ Genre: age gap, royal au, historical au, arranged marriage au (reader only), angst, kind of forbidden love? (maybe more than kind of), basically porn with plot

♡ Word Count: 7.5k

♡ Summary: You, the princess who ran away from the castle after finding out your father, the king, has finalized your arranged marriage. Minho, your royal knight and glorified bodyguard, tasked with bringing you back home at all costs. When found, you hit Minho with a very interesting proposition- for him to be the one you share all your "firsts" with, instead of your inevitable husband.

♡ Warnings: age gap !! reader is ~23 while minho is in his 40s, please don't read if this makes you uncomfortable!, uneven power dynamics, outdated traditions and views on women to suit the setting, brief reference to death by guillotine and death in general, mentions of injury and swordfighting

♡ Smut Warnings (contains spoilers): lowkey corruption kink, loss of virginity (reader), pet names (princess (mostly as a title), good girl), slight sub + dom dynamics, soft dom minho, a lot of kissing (should be expected from me atp), nipple play, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), slight overstim, unprotected piv, multiple orgasms, creampie

♡ Notes: at this point i am determined to write a royal au fic for every member, and my newest offering to you is minho <3 i was literally possessed writing this like once the idea hit my brain i had to get it out asap

♡ Disclaimer: please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people.

Fuck. Minho was absolutely fucked.

In recent years, he had one job, and one job only, and that was to take care of the princess. Make sure she’s safe, escort her to where she needs to be and watch over her at all times– that’s all. Not always an easy job, but one of vital importance that Minho took with utmost seriousness. In the 3 years it’s been since becoming your royal knight and glorified bodyguard, he never messed up this critically. 

You always had a rebellious streak and challenged authority, everyone in the castle knew that. And part of Minho’s job, apart from keeping you safe, was keeping you in check– and the king made it extremely clear that failing to do so was not an option.

He lost track of the amount of times he uttered the words “Princess, please think rationally,” or “please consider your responsibility to the kingdom, don’t do this,” in a near desperate attempt to get you to listen to reason. 

And today, he fucked up the worst he ever had. He knew you were upset tonight, but he was under the impression he successfully calmed you down, and that you wouldn’t do anything rash. He turned his back to you, thinking the storm had been quelled, and that you’d listen to your father, even if doing so felt like pulling teeth. He underestimated however, just how deep your sadness and anger truly ran, and the very moment you saw an opening, you took it. 

You fled from the castle with blind determination, nowhere to go and with little of value in your hands, fueled purely by the desire to escape your unfair circumstances, and live your own life by your own means. You may not believe it, but Minho understood, and felt for you– he really did. But that didn’t change what his duty was, and even if it made you hate him, he had to do his job to the best of his ability. 

So now here he was, roaming the streets looking for you, the hours passing in a blur. You must’ve done a good job of concealing your identity, because no one he asked had seen a young woman matching the princess' description. And as the minutes ticked by, and sunset turned to midnight, he was at a complete loss of what to do.

He made record time combing the entire bustling town, stopping into places full to the brim with people in the hopes he’d catch a glimpse of you in the crowd, and yet there seemed to be no trace of you anywhere. It was easy for someone to hide their presence in a crowd, or in the rowdy environment of a tavern, and you were more than intelligent enough to blend into a crowd and divert attention away from yourself.

It was entirely possible that Minho had seen you at some point, and simply didn’t realize it, though he liked to believe he’d recognize you anywhere, no matter what you wore. Minho scowled, clenching his teeth as he scanned the dark horizon of the treeline; should he check the outer walls of the town for a clue, or double back and check the streets again?

He doubts you made it out of the town easily, considering you likely had no money on your person and little experience with the realities of the world. You were intelligent, yes, but sheltered; he could easily imagine you quickly getting in over your head, thinking you could make it to the next town without issue, only to end up lost and in need of help, with no one for miles to hear your desperate cries. 

Fuck. If he couldn’t find you, his head would most certainly be meeting the cold steel of a guillotine. He had no family who would mourn his loss, but still, he wasn’t ready to face his mortality. And the king, despite being someone he could call a close friend, would spare no mercy if he failed to keep his one and only daughter safe.

But really, there was more to it than just the threat of death that kept him searching for you. Believe it or not, he genuinely wanted you safe and well, and he'd do anything to ensure you made it back home, even if it made you curse him for the rest of his days. 

As if God himself heard his prayers and decided to grant him a miracle, Minho sees you– there, on the outskirts of town, holding your cold hands up to your face and letting your breath warm them. It’s dark, the street barely even illuminated enough to discern your recognizable features, but he knows without a doubt that it's you standing there in the cold street, because truly, he knows you anywhere. 

By the time you realize you’ve been spotted and recognized, it’s already much too late to flee. Minho approached you with utmost haste, reaching out and grabbing your arm, lest you make the foolish decision to try to escape again. His hold, while not rough enough to hurt you, is firm, and it only takes one attempt at pulling your arm from his hold to know this is it; your escape attempt has failed, and you’ll be dragged back to the castle and reprimanded for your “temper tantrum.” 

Your father never listens to you, no matter how hard you try to make him understand and see your point of view. Maybe if you were born a boy, your opinions would be important to him, and he’d see you are more than an object to pawn off to whatever man gave him the most political power.

“Princess–” “I’m not going home,” you interject before he even has a chance, though you already know it’s in vain. There is no avoiding returning to your glorified prison now that Sir Minho has you in his grasp. 

He sighs, but his face changes to one of sympathy, his grip on your arm loosening ever so slightly. “Can we at least go to an inn room? It’s not safe for a young lady to be on the streets at night,” he reasons with you, as gently as he can manage.

Normally Minho is quite stern with you, but you get the impression that he feels being stern isn’t the right approach tonight. You’re known for expressing yourself very vocally, even when doing so is extremely ill-advised, and he is well aware of how opinionated and fiery you are. 

But treating this display as anything other than a genuine act of desperation, a culmination of years of perceived disrespect and conformity, would be another critical error– one he can’t afford to make. So he will be firm, yes, but gentle in his approach.

You frown as you look at him; you’re stubborn by nature, and part of you wants to fight against him until the bitter end, but he’s not wrong about the streets being unsafe for you at night. You know he won’t let you escape again come morning, but that’ll have to be a problem for later; for right now, you really should heed his advice and go to an inn for the night. 

“Fine,” you concede, much to Minho’s relief. He could’ve forced you to go with him if he really needed to, but he’d rather avoid doing something so unpleasant. He leads you to a nearby tavern, which is still bustling with activity even at the late hour.

He keeps you close as he pushes through the crowd of rowdy drunks to the dual innkeep-bartender, hoping that there is still a room available. The man departs, coming back with a key dangling in hand, “You’re in luck. Last room’s all yours.” 

Minho thanks the man and pulls out his satchel to pay him, leaving a few extra coins as a tip before stashing it back in his pocket, along with the key he was given, and the two of you go up the stairs together.

“There’s only one bed,” you comment as you step inside the room, though Minho doesn’t seem to care much about that fact. “That’s fine, don’t plan on sleeping anyways,” he says as he removes his leather scabbard from his back, resting it against the back of the chair in the corner of the room. 

You frown as you sit on the bed and watch him; he must’ve been in a hurry when he received word you fled from the castle, as he wasn’t wearing any of his armor, strictly in casual wear you’d very rarely seen him in. Probably for the best, you think, because if anyone saw a royal knight desperately searching the streets, multiple alarms would be raised.

He lights the fireplace, hoping to quickly spread some heat throughout the cold room, before he sits in the chair, crossing his arms and watching you carefully. Deserved, you suppose. How is he supposed to trust you’re not going to flee at the first available moment just as before?

You certainly don’t make his job easy for him; he can’t take his eyes off you for a second. The silence between you lingers for some time, the crackling of the fire the only sound either of you hear, apart from the muffled patrons enjoying their drinks downstairs. Minho, despite his relaxed posture, looks like he’d be ready to jump up at a moment's notice should he need to. 

You sigh; should you just try to sleep? It’d feel awkward and uncomfortable to try to fall asleep with someone's eyes boring holes into you, but you really didn’t give him much of a choice. “Do you want to tell me why you ran away from the castle?” Minho asks suddenly, breaking the tempered silence between you. “You already know the answer to that,” you respond, crossing your own arms now. 

“Is marrying Sir Jin really so bad?” he asks, and you scoff, rolling your eyes. “Yes, obviously. I don’t want to. Not that you or my father care about me or anything I think.”

Minho’s brow furrows, the frown on his face growing. “Princess, you know that’s not true. I do care about you.”

“Do you? I haven’t been able to tell in the slightest,” you counter a bit harshly, “and you could help me if you wanted to, you know. I’d be fine out there if I was with you.”

Okay, maybe you’re not being fair to Minho right now. You do know he cares, but realistically, what is he supposed to do? If he disobeyed your fathers orders, he’d be lucky if his only punishment was a swift death.

He was assigned to you because your father trusts him to do the right thing and follow orders dutifully, a trust that is usually not misplaced. But he has to admit, the more and more time he spends with you, the more he feels for you. 

Minho never knew your father, the king, to be an unreasonable or cruel man, but in your eyes, he might as well be the devil himself. And maybe he is cruel– because how do you strip someone of their freedom and choices for your own gain, and not see the harm it causes, the wrong in it?

You are more than a pawn, more than a subject, more than his daughter– you are a person. A person with thoughts, feelings, and opinions as real as any mans, who did not deserve to be treated lesser than for the simple crime of being born a girl. 

But what is Minho if not an upholder of the status quo? He was just a single man, and even if he recognized how unfairly you were treated in comparison to the golden child that was your elder brother, what was he supposed to do? He always performed his tasks dutifully and without question, and it wasn’t until he met you that he began to struggle with what he should do, and what he wants to do.

And maybe he could get you out of this town, help you live a quiet, modest life somewhere new, away from the watchful eye of your father. Where he could be your protector, same as now, but without the guilt, burden, or threats.

You know you shouldn’t take your frustrations about your life out on Minho, but he’s really all you have. You trust him with your life, and he’s shown you multiple times that he cares about you beyond the duty he has to you, or to your father. He's your only confidant, the only person in the world you can rely on. 

Your eyes linger on the scar across his nose– he got it protecting you, the other man’s sword barely missing his eyes and cutting just across his face, and it was only one of many scars he obtained in his service to you. He’d pick you up and run with you in his arms when you were injured, he’d fight off attackers without breaking a sweat, sustain injury after injury all to make sure you were safe.

You’d watch his back, always stunned and mesmerized at the ease at which he cut down your enemies, as if they were nothing but paper. When he’d turn back to you, breathing heavy and sweat only just starting to trickle on his brow, his eyes would turn from the harshest winter chill to the gentle warmth of a spring morning.

He was quiet, stern, but his care ran far deeper than one would think just by looking at him, and all you had to do to see the true depth of his feelings was look in his eyes. So you knew it was unfair to accuse him of not caring about you, to expect him to go above and beyond for you, to ask that he go against your father to give you what you want. But you were just so sad, frustrated, angry, that you couldn’t stop yourself.

“Maybe you’ll grow to love him if you give him a chance,” Minho suggests; you both know that’s never going to happen, but what else can he say? He never married, and had no children, dedicated to his duty as he was; he had no real advice to offer someone when it came to love, romance, and the like, but he imagined it wasn’t impossible to fall in love if you just met Sir Jin with an open mind.

But as stated, that’s never going to happen. You’re stubborn to a fault, and once you’ve decided something, there’s no changing it. The best Minho can ever manage to do is get you to reconsider, but even then, you’re still likely to go about things the way you originally wanted to, with no regard for consequences or keeping up appearances. You’re a fiery woman, there was no doubt about it, and you don’t let go of things easily. 

“The mere thought of giving that man all my firsts makes me sick, it’s vile,” you scrunch up your nose, making your distaste for the man very clear. Minho doesn’t even think you’ve actually met the man yet, but you’ve already decided you hate him– you don’t want to marry him, and so you’ll be firmly stuck in your opinion, no matter what anyone says. 

“Maybe this isn’t advice I should be giving you, but.. You don’t necessarily have to. To give him your firsts, or love him. Find someone you do love, even if you have to keep it a secret, and hold him with all you’ve got. It still wouldn’t be ideal, of course, but.. Well, it’d be something, at least.” Really, Minho is supposed to encourage you to be an obedient daughter and listen to your father without question, but he knows you well enough to know that’s a fool's errand. 

You’re never going to listen, never going to be obedient, never going to stop being opinionated. So what’s the next, most realistic piece of advice he can give? Lie, of course. Make your father and inevitable husband believe you’re a good, obedient wife and daughter, and then go live the life you really want behind their backs.

It's dishonest as all hell, and there would be consequences if you got caught, but if you’re going to be miserable no matter what you do, you might as well try, right? It’s what Minho thinks he would do if he were you, anyways. 

“What about you?” you ask and Minho raises a brow in question. “What about me?” he asks, and what you respond with makes him feel like the air has been punched out of his lungs. “What if I gave my firsts to you?”

Did he hear you right? There must be some mistake with his ears, there’s absolutely no way you said what he thinks you did. “You– what?” Surely you can’t be serious about this. You’re the princess, and he’s just the man who happens to be your guard; a man who is your fathers age at that. But the way you look at him, he can tell you’re not joking in the slightest.

“Princess, I couldn’t possibly accept that,” Minho says sternly, his arms no longer crossed but instead resting on the arms of the chair, hands beginning to grip tightly so he can ground himself and try to make sense of this insane situation.

“Why not? I’d be happier if I gave it to someone like you. I trust you,” you say so nonchalantly it makes his head reel. What the fuck is happening right now? 

And truly, Minho was the ideal man; at least in your opinion. He was handsome, mature, realistic and practical, knew how to reel you in without disregarding the root of what you feel or being disrespectful to you.

He never dismissed how you felt, made you feel over emotional or like a fool who overreacts; he’d ask you to see reason, sure, urge you to think more before acting, but he never, never made you feel like your feelings were invalid. And he genuinely cared about you, and you liked him, were attracted to him, so if the opportunity presented itself then.. Why not take the chance? 

Fuck. Minho was absolutely fucked.

You were just freshly 20 when Minho first met you and became your guard, and hard as he tried to never see you beyond the platonic, he’s always viewed you as an attractive young woman. He liked your fiery spirit, liked how you had the bravery and gall to challenge authority, a skill that in recent months he felt he was sorely lacking. Your attitude was refreshing, and despite your circumstances, you never acted like a damsel in need of his help. 

In a different life, in another world, maybe you two could have met as equals, not painfully stuck to the rules of an unfair, unforgiving reality. You’d be each other's foil; you, the impassioned dreamer with as many thoughts and ideas as there were stars in the sky, and he the realist, who didn’t dim your light but tempered it into a steady, sustainable flame.

You’d take him out on adventures, out of the strict box of his comfort zone, and he’d ground you more firmly to reality, never discouraging your dreams but making sure you took the necessary steps in the right way, responsibly. You'd match one another perfectly, complementary and meant for each other. 

But that’s not your reality, and you both know it. There would never be any coming back from this if you go through with it, and there’s no ideal, happy future for you two to share. “I’m not so disillusioned to think this would be anything other than sex for you,” you continue, and he swallows, mind still racing impossibly, “but it’d be much more meaningful for me with you than some bastard I don’t like in the slightest.” 

You’re wrong. So wrong, and you don’t even know it. It would never be “just sex” with you. You mean much, much more to him than you even realize. “You won’t regret asking a man like me? There’d be no taking it back once it’s done,” Minho can’t help but ask, rationality and reason desperately trying to gain control. 

Despite what your father may believe, you’re a grown woman capable of making your own decisions. And this is a decision you make with full knowledge of what it means for you, more than willing to accept whatever consequences may arise for committing such a sin.

In an ideal world, you’d be allowed to love who you wish, live where you wish, do what you wish. But this isn’t an ideal world, and if there is only one thing you can ever be granted in this life that feels as if it isn’t even your own, it would be this– to have one night, just one night, where you can be the person you want to be, with Minho by your side.

“You’re free to reject me if you’re not attracted to me, but.. My only regret would have been not trying. So I ask, are you not attracted to me?” He looks you over carefully following your question, grip on the armrests tightening.

Admitting that he’s attracted to you may as well be a death sentence. But he can’t lie to you, completely at your mercy. Fuck the king, it’s you he’s really loyal to. All he’s ever done, all he ever will do, it’s always for you. He’s always tried to act in your best interest, to do the right thing, to keep you safe and protected. But does keeping you safe even matter if you’re miserable? 

“I am,” Minho swallows, answering honestly despite his better judgment, “You have no idea how attracted to you I am.”

“So why hesitate?” you ask, fingers trail down your lap, over your knees, to where the very bottom of your dress lies. He watches you, eyes darting from your hands back to your face. You’re watching him too, carefully, considering his every reaction before you make your next move, impressively calculated. 

You take the hem of your dress in your hands, pulling it up leisurely, getting it halfway up your thighs before Minho rises from his chair. He's is in front of you in an instant, his hands grabbing your wrists and stopping you from lifting it any further.

“You’re playing a dangerous game, Princess,” he breathes, voice low and strained; he can’t lose control of his desires, but fuck, you’re making it so hard. You look up at him, meeting his gaze with the same fiery determination you always have, but there’s more there than just that this time. Desire, want, need– all for him.

Fuck it. He’s going to get burned, but maybe it’s worth it. You’ll be his funeral pyre, engulfing him in your flame until all that remains are the ashes of the man he was supposed to be. And what a beautiful way to end his life it will be, lost between your thighs, feeling your nails dig and claw at his skin.

He lets go of your wrists, one of his hands coming to cup your face, thumb tracing over your bottom lip. “Has anyone ever kissed you, Princess?” he asks and you give a slight shake of the head, breathing a soft “No..”

He hums, and there’s a twisted sort of pleasure he derives from knowing he’ll be your first in every conceivable way. You’re not “innocent,” he knows you’re not, but there’s something about being your first kiss, your first cock, your first everything that makes him crazy. 

“And you want me to be the first one to kiss you?” he follows up with another question, corners of his mouth threatening to twist into a smile when you nod, a soft, honest “yes” leaving your lips effortlessly. He leans down towards you, keeping your head tilted up so he can easily meet your lips.

He does so softly, treating you with care. His lips are softer than you expected, and the feeling of them against your own fills you with butterflies. He carefully tilts you back, and you let your body fall back onto the mattress, head hitting the surprisingly soft pillows.

Minho crawls over you, spreading your legs apart just enough to get between them, your dress now hiked all the way up your thighs. He’s hovering over you, looking down at you with so much love and lust and that it leaves you speechless. “I’ll need you to listen to me tonight. Can you do that for me?” he asks, pressing light kisses to your jaw, under your ear, your neck. 

You can, because it’s Minho. He’d never hurt you, never try to control you, never make you feel lesser than. So you can listen to him, because you trust him with your care; he’ll take good care of you, you know he will. He smiles when you nod, and you see him smile so rarely that it makes your heart skip a beat; his role always requires him to be so stern and straight faced, that seeing him smile down at you like this is enough to melt you into a puddle. 

“You’re a good girl when you want to be, hmm?” he hums against your neck, resuming his trail of kisses against your skin, and you can’t explain why, but the words and tone he says them in makes your stomach flip.

If you were in a different world, and didn’t have to return home to the castle tomorrow, he’d take his time marking your neck, filling it with pretty shades of blue, purple, and red, sinking his teeth into your soft, supple skin. He just knows you’d look so pretty like that, and the way you react when his breath tickles your skin and his lips linger, tells him you’d like it too.

His fingers trail down your body, finding the hem of your dress and pulling it up over your chest. You lift your back off the bed when he separates from your neck, pulling your dress off the rest of the way and discarding it to the floor. He kisses you as he fiddles with the straps of your bra, effortlessly unhooking it in the back and pulling it down your arms and off your body. 

He may have never married, but he’s no stranger to being with and pleasuring women. And he’ll make sure he makes this a night you’ll always remember for all the right reasons. Capturing your lips in another kiss, his hands take in your now bare breasts, gently kneading and squeezing.

You try to squeeze your legs together, but his place between your thighs stops the act from happening, and he chuckles against your lips when he realizes what you’re doing. “Be patient, Princess, I’ll take good care of you,” he whispers before kissing you again, and you let out a small whine, not knowing exactly what you want but knowing you want something.

You gasp when he takes your nipples between your fingers and pinches them, not too hard of course, but enough to give him the chance to slip his tongue into your mouth. Your body shudders, you feel dizzy with pleasure and excitement, and the feeling of his tongue circling yours is impossibly intoxicating. 

One of his hands travels down, over your stomach, coming between your bodies to feel your heat over your panties. He’s barely even begun and you’re already soaking the fabric, your eager anticipation for more of his touch palpable beyond all else. He nips at your bottom lip, gently tugging it between his teeth before soothing the sting with kitten licks, his hand slipping inside your panties to feel how slick you’ve gotten directly. 

Your body jolts when his fingers run between your folds, and he barely has to move them at all to get his fingers completely coated in your arousal. He pulls back to look at you, taking in the sight of your flushed face and swollen lips, pretty and perfect.

You’re panting, breathless, overwhelmed in the best way possible. You keen when his fingers rub over your clit in circles, your teeth sinking into your bottom lip as you lift your head from the pillows to watch. “Feels good, doesn’t it?” he asks, suppressing a grin when you whine and quickly nod your head.

“Want more, want you,” you mutter, the most timid you’ve ever been in regards to a man. He coos, giving you a sweet kiss as he continues his stimulation to your sensitive spot. “Remember what I said? Patience, Princess, you’ll get what you want. We can’t rush and have you getting hurt, can we?” 

You pout as you concede, and God, he finds that so cute; he’s never seen you actually act shy and pouty before, and it makes him want to give you the entire world. He’ll give you everything you want, anything you ask for, but he’ll have to remember to tease you first so he can see that cute expression on your face before he gives in to your whims.

“I’ll make sure you’re nice and ready for my cock, so just be a good girl and follow my lead until then. You can do that for me easily, can’t you?”Another shy nod, another adorable flushed look that makes his cock throb in his trousers.

It was a little intimidating for you, knowing how experienced Minho must be due to his age, and feeling like you must fall short in comparison to other women– women who knew what they were doing. But really, that was just your own insecurity talking. He didn’t mind at all that you were inexperienced; in fact, it excited him for reasons he didn’t entirely understand. 

Maybe it was the knowledge that he was the first to touch your skin, or maybe that someone as determined and fiery as you are is allowing yourself to concede control, to let him be in charge of your pleasure, trusting him to bring you to utmost bliss. What bigger display of trust could you ever show him? Your glassy, pleading eyes, begging him for more but still waiting for it just as he asked– you’re too good for him. He’s going to ruin you. 

He takes his fingers away, and you have to physically stop yourself from whining at the lack of contact, lest he remind you again about “being patient.” “Open your mouth for me,” Minho requests, and though you are a bit confused, you do as he asks immediately, obeying without question.

Fuck, that’s hot; the image of you, mouth open, tongue slightly sticking out and waiting to receive whatever he gives you is something he never wants to forget. Minho slides two of his fingers into your mouth, instructing you to lick, to get his fingers nice and wet.

Truthfully, you were more than lubricated enough to take his fingers without this step, but he couldn’t resist the urge to see you this way. He pushes his fingers in your mouth down to the knuckle, and you persist with coating them in your saliva even as you gag and tears prick the corners of your eyes. 

He showers you with praise, slipping his fingers out of your mouth when he feels satisfied with the work you’ve done on them, kissing your cheeks, feeling the heat of your face on his lips. Slipping his hand back inside your panties, he presses the tips of his wet fingers to your hole, and you instinctively suck in a breath, body unconsciously tensing from the anticipation.

“You have to relax, Princess, it won’t feel good if you’re tense,” he explains sweetly, shaking his head when you mutter a soft apology. “Don’t be sorry, not for that. Just focus on me, hmm? On this,” he whispers, his lips lingering on yours in a deep, impassioned kiss.

His fingers stay completely still until he feels your body start to release its tension, heeding his advice to focus more on his kisses than the motion of his fingers. He keeps kissing you even as the first of his fingers finally starts to push inside you, and you moan into his mouth, hot pleasure licking your skin. 

He moves his finger in and out slowly, making sure you’re well adjusted before he pushes in another one, hooking his fingers to find that delicious sweet spot he knows will have you crying his name in no time. You gasp loudly when he finds it, your hands twisting the sheets beneath you between your fingers, your entire body trembling.

It feels so good you almost can’t breathe, and when he picks up his pace, hitting your spot over and over as he brings his thumb to your clit, you know you won’t last long at all. “M-Minho, I’m– 'm gonna–” you try to warn him, but the words die in your throat, the pleasure too overwhelming to continue to try and form a sentence.

He simply hums, continuing his motions until your eyes are rolling to the back of your head, sharp, shuddery gasps and moans tumbling from your lips as your orgasm takes you. “That’s it, just let go, just like that, I’ve got you,” he praises, pressing kisses to your hot skin, helping you ride out your high.

Before you can even fully recollect your breath and get your racing heart back under control, he’s pushing a third finger inside, the trembling in your body intensifying from the addition. “You need more to get ready for me,” he tells you, and in your fucked out state all you can do is nod, taking his word as gospel truth, “need to stretch you good to make sure my cock fits.”

All you can do is lay there and take the onslaught of pleasure, unable to think of about anything other than how full and good his fingers make you feel. You don’t even register that he’s moved your down your body and tugged your panties to the side until his tongue is meeting your clit, swirling around it in expertly practiced circles, making you desperately cry out his name.

Your fingers tangle in his hair, tugging harshly as your hips buck up to keep feeling the delicious sensation his tongue provides you. He flattens his tongue and lets you grind against it as you want, the motions of his fingers not stuttering or ceasing despite the movement of your hips. 

You feel the familiar heat pooling your stomach, another orgasm approaching quickly, the sounds you release turning into desperate whines and whimpers as you chase the feeling. It only takes a few more rolls of your hips and thrusts of his fingers to have you releasing all over his face and gushing around his fingers.

He sits up and pulls his fingers out when your body falls limp, chest heaving and ears ringing as you try to recover from the mind-blowing experience you just had. Your eyes are closed, and you can feel his weight shift, can hear the soft clink of his belt unbuckling, followed by the rustling of clothes.

You open your eyes to see Minho’s cock is now out, his hand lazily pumping it and spreading the pre-cum that accumulated and dripped over his time focusing on you. You reach a hand out to touch it, to replace his hand with your own, but he grabs your hand before you can, instead making you intertwine your fingers. 

“Tonight’s all about you, Princess. Don’t worry about taking care of me,” he says, kissing the back of your hand and then holding it down right above your head. You’re not quite pinned, easily able to snake your hand out of his hold if you wanted to, but you have to admit, you like the feeling of his hand keeping yours held down.

He rubs his cock between your folds before he lines himself up with your entrance, though you didn’t miss the subtle smirk on his face when you whined from the feeling of his tip rubbing against your clit. “Squeeze my hand if you need to,” Minho tells you before taking your free hand and bringing it up to his shoulder, “and hold onto me.”

Your heart squeezes in your chest; the hidden romantic in you yearns to tell him you love him, to thank him for taking such good care of you, to express how you never want this night to end, but you know that would be a mistake. Neither of you can afford to let your emotions spill out, so you swallow them down the best you can, deciding to just live in this moment, to experience it for all that it is and all that it means for you.

The initial push is slow, and thanks to his diligent preparation, there is little physical pain or discomfort you experience from the stretch of his cock. A slight sting, sure, but nothing you can’t easily handle, and it’s barely even recognizable when compared to the pleasant fullness you feel. So when you squeeze his hand, and your eyes well with tears, it’s not because you are pained; it’s because you finally have something you want, a happiness you thought would forever elude you.

He takes his free hand and wipes away the tears from your eyes, a soft look of concern on his face. “Hurts?” he asks, but you shake your head quickly.

“Feels good, I just– I..” you struggle with the words, knowing you can’t express how you actually feel about him even if you felt you could. “I know. You don’t have to say it, I know,” Minho speaks to you softly, and the kiss he gives you very nearly makes you sob.

There’s still a few inches left before he’s fully inside you, and he pushes the remainder in slowly as he continues to kiss you, his free hand now rubbing soothing circles on your hip with his thumb. Minho does well at maintaining composure, staying firmly in control of himself and his body despite the way your walls squeeze and suck him in, despite the way you whimper when you feel him throb, or cry out against his lips when his tip kisses your deepest spots.

“That’s a good girl, taking all I give you, doing so well,” he praises you some more, and you love when he tells you how good you’re doing if the way you clench around him is any indicator. “Fuck, Princess–” he groans when he finally starts to move, pulling out and pressing back in much more slowly than he normally would, but the wet friction you provide him is delicious.

“Minho, I–” you start, interrupted by a sharp gasp when he finds your sweet spot with his cock.He looks at you as he stills his hips, patiently waiting for you to continue in case what you have to say is important, or a request for him to stop.

You swallow, face heating up but determined to get out what you want to say. “J-Just this once, I don’t want to be the princess. Call me by name, please–” Oh, that’s what you want? He can do that, easily; he’s already groaned your name countless times in the privacy of his room, stroking his cock to the thought of you.

The sound of your name falling from his lips as he resumes the thrust of his hips has you clenching hard, stars erupting in your vision as he picks up his pace, beginning to quickly and mercilessly hit your spot, over and over again. He takes one of your legs and props it up over his shoulder, allowing more of his cock to fill you up, the creaking of the bed and the sound of skin slapping beginning to overpower the noise from downstairs.

Taking his other hand away from yours, you’ll have to forgive him, he licks his fingers and then brings them to your clit, wanting nothing more than to see and feel you release on his cock. It only takes a few more thrusts and circles from his fingers to have you crying out his name as you cum, fingers digging into the sheets beneath you as your body shakes and legs tremble.

But Minho hasn’t cum yet, so he’s not quite done with you– not that you mind in the slightest. You’ll let him chase his pleasure as long as he wishes, even if it leaves you a drooling, fucked out mess in the end.

He pulls out of you, just long enough to sit against the headboard, and then he’s pulling you on top of him, guiding you to sink back down on his cock and sit fully in his lap. The new position has you rolling your eyes to the back of your head, Minho guiding the movement of your hips with his hands as he thrusts up into you.

He’s quite literally doing all the work, but that’s perfectly fine; this night is supposed to be about you, after all, and he doesn’t want you to lift a pretty little finger. Just let him use you a little until he cums, that’s all he needs.

You’re panting against his neck, head laid on his shoulder and nails digging into the skin of his back beneath his shoulder blades. The sting of your nails in his skin is just how he imagined it to be, and his head is falling back against the headboard, low grunts and groans of your name leaving freely as his cock throbs and twitches, getting closer and closer to his release.

He uses one of his hands to grab your face and lift it up to his, crashing his lips to yours in a desperate, impassioned display of love and lust. A few more snaps of his hips and you feel his cum spurting inside you in long, thick ropes, the sensation sending you forward into yet another orgasm of your own, your desperate sounds muffled only by Minho’s mouth on yours.

Your body collapses against his when the moment slows to a stop, both of your chests heaving and breaths heavy as you lie against him. His arms wrap around you snuggly, and keep you upright against his chest. You can hear the quick, erratic beating of his heart as he catches his breath, looking up at him to see his eyes closed and sweat trailing down his brow towards his cheek.

He looks beautiful like this, you think; you hope he thought the same of you. Even as his cock starts to soften, neither of you move, and though your legs protest and beg to be stretched out, you refuse to leave your spot on Minho’s lap.

“Are you alright, Princess?” he asks once he’s collected himself, pushing your hair from your face and wiping the sweat from your brow.

“Mhm, just want to stay like this,” you reply, and Minho smiles softly, rubbing over your shoulders and down your back in a sweet gesture of comfort. You’re silent like this for some time, just simply enjoying the feeling of him, the sound of the crackling fire, the warmth he and this room provides you.

“Does my happiness really have to end here?” you can’t help but quietly ask, and Minho is quiet for a moment, carefully considering before he speaks.

In a different world, in a different time, in a different place, maybe the two of you are meant to be. There’s comfort in imagining yourself there, truly happy with Minho, letting him care for you while not snuffing out the flame that is your pride, ambition, and spirit.

It’s not meant to be, you both know that to be true. To be with each other required great risk, sacrifice, hardship. But again he has to wonder, is being safe worth the cost of happiness? Would you even truly be “alive” if your every moment was spent miserably?

He doesn’t want to see the very core of what makes you you be snuffed out by selfish, idiotic men and their expectations of what you should be. You’re much younger than him, and it would be impossible for him to be there for you for the rest of your life, but he can be for the rest of his, at least.

“Maybe not,” he answers, unsure of what the future holds for the two of you, but not entirely ready to give up so easily. He could accept his fate, accept that love is something out of his reach, but it’s your happiness on the line that makes him want to fight for it. 

There’s a lot he could lose by helping you escape this life you feel trapped in, but he’d rather see you happy than wasting your days away in the castle, subservient to a man you loathe. Your love isn’t meant to be, but that’s okay; he’ll help you all the same.

He’s loyal to you, and only you, he’s decided– so if you make your future husband, your father, or even the entire kingdom your enemy, then they’ll be his enemy too. And it’ll all be worth it just to see you smile for a little bit longer.

[too-much-tma-stuff]

Neither Gone Nor Forgotten

sequel to No Body to Bury. This isn’t edited, if you find any errors feel free to let me nice, just be nice about it.

------

Planning a funeral for Danny turned out both easier, and harder, then Batman had anticipated. Easier because he wasn’t deep in grief the way he had been when planning previous funerals, and harder because, well, the person the funeral was for was still around to have opinions. Not that Danny was hard to please, he seemed happy with just about everything, but he was struggling with whether he should tell his human family and friends. He really wanted to, but he was scared.

“I don’t think they’ll understand,” Danny said, his legs dangling over the edge of the tall building he and Batman were currently sitting on, holding a milkshake Bruce had bought for him. “Sam, Tucker, and Jazz all supported me while I was still only half dead and knew. I haven’t kept entirely out of the news since starting to work with you guys and I know they’re upset I abandoned them, I’ve seen it when I check on them. There’s no way they can understand how much changes when you die, I watch over them, but Ic an never go back.

“I can’t be what they want me to be, I’m not really Danny anymore at all, and they’d want me to be what I was. They’d want me to be human, and I’m just not anymore. I would want them to think I was completely dead and gone, but they’ve seen me in the news so there’s no chance of that.”

“Hm,” Batman said helpfully. “Write them a letter, I’ll make sure it’s delivered and then they can come on your terms, or not,” He suggested, he’d found writing letters to be a lot easier. “Like a will?”

Danny cocked his head to the side as he thought about that and then nodded slowly. “That’s a good idea, thanks Batman. You’re not nearly as bad at emotions as everyone says,” The young ghost said, bumping his shoulder against Bruce’s. It made the older hero smile. He wasn’t surprised to find that Phantom was gone when he turned back towards where the boy was sitting, his small smile remained as he threw out the abandoned milkshake and went on with his patrol.

It was two days later when the letter appeared on his desk, not yet folded or in an envelope which Bruce knew was permission to read it. He appreciated that because he would have had a hard time resisting the curiosity even if it was already sealed.

Dear Sam, Jazz, and Tucker

First of all, I want to say I’m sorry. I loved you all and I didn’t run away, I didn’t want to leave you. It was the GIW, remember when I said I was a ‘who’s who of who can’t catch ghosts’? I guess I underestimated at least one of them because they finally got me. Of course it was Phantom they were trying to kill, but is anyone surprised that they failed? It was Danny who they ended up killing, and now I can’t go back.

I didn’t realize what a big difference there would be between being half dead and all dead, a little humanity goes a long way I guess. Don’t worry I’m not going to become Dan, but I can’t be Danny anymore either, just Phantom left now and while I still love you and watch over you as I am, it’s not like I can just ‘live my life’ anymore. It hurts too much to try and pretend to be alive now, and ghosts are creatures of instinct, I can’t go against the natural order of life and death and come back to you, no matter how much I love you or how much you miss me.

Batman and some of the other heroes have offered to arrange a funeral for Danny, this time there’s actually a corpse to bury after all. I won’t be there, but it’s important for both the living and the dead that the dead have a grave, a place to grieve lost life. You don’t have to come if you don’t want to, if it’s too hard or you’re too mad at me still. But if you do come or ever visit I’ll feel you there and it’ll make me happy, and maybe it’ll be some closure for you? I never meant to hurt you.

I’ll still be around to protect you, I’ll protect everyone I can. That’s been my obsession since the start hasn’t it? And Jazz don’t you start, ghost’s obsessions are what keeps us here and in one piece, I don’t need therapy. And I guess that’s the heart of it isn’t it? I’m not human anymore, and I can’t pretend to be, and we wouldn’t understand each other anymore. Not really. Ghosts don’t change much though so I’ll always love you and when you die maybe we can be friends again, if you can forgive me for this.

Forever young and yours,

Phantom

 Batman read the letter and sat quietly with it for a few long minutes, thinking about it and also questioning some parts, like who Dan was. It was sad of course, but it was sweet too, and he didn’t think that Phantom’s friends would be nearly as upset with him as he thought they would be. Finally he sighed and folded it up, finding a envelope and address it to Danny’s sister since she seemed like the best one to make sure they were all there when it was opened and read. He put it in the folder to be sent out and then leaned against his desk.

“Are you really not going to come?” He asked the empty room, and after waiting for a moment wasn’t surprised when Danny stepped out from nowhere. He’d started to get a sense of when Phantom was there, untouchable and unseen.

“No, I’ll be there, but only the way spirits usually are. I won’t be there physically, just in spirit,” He said, smiling at his own pun. Batman chuckled a little and nodded.

“I understand why you don’t want them to know that, I won’t let on,” He assured. “I think you’ve done the right thing letting them know.”

Danny nodded and then vanished again, this time out through the window, properly leaving the office and Batman alone again.

Batman had the discussion with the rest of the Justice League without Phantom present so they could avoid accidental offense. Not everyone would come, not everyone could come, Batman banned a few of the more literal heroes who would not understand why they were having a funeral when Phantom was still here, even though he had actually died. But a decent amount did come, and Batman had a feeling that the ones Phantom would care about most was Bruce himself, and Diana, who was coming.

-----

When the day of the funeral came Batman and Diana stood outside the little chapel to welcome people. They weren’t technically family of course, apparently Diana was distantly through an ancestor of hers and adoption, and Bruce thought of himself as a paternal figure to Danny, besides they’d been here early setting everything up. The nice coffin was already at the front of the room, closed since it was empty with while lilies placed on top and decorating the little building along with some roses and candles.

He wasn’t particularly surprised when the first person who showed up was Danny’s big sister Jasmine Fenton driving Danny’s two friends. His parents weren’t there but Phantom had mentioned it might not be a good idea for them to come because they would probably be disruptive. Both Jazz and Tucker’s eyes were rimmed red like they’d been crying and Sam’s jaw had a stubborn set to it like clenching it was the only thing keeping her lips from trembling.

They reached the steps, Batman nodded to them and Diana gave them a sad smile. Jazz looked through the open doors, her breath hitching. “Is he in there?” She asked, pointing to the coffin.

Batman shook his head, voice soft and rough as he responded. “Phantom said he’d bring the body later, Less chance for something to go wrong and… I don’t know if it would hurt him, but I think it’s easy to see why he’d be protective of it.”

Jazz’s lip trembled and she took a deep breath, behind her Sam had wrapped an arm around Tucker who had started to cry again, turning to hide against her shoulder. “When you see him again tell him we’re not mad at him, please?” Sam said, her voice hard with repressed emotions, it almost sounded angry but there was a subtle difference.

“He’s right that we can’t understand everything,” Jazz said, biting her lip for a moment before continuing. “But after something like this he needs space, and we won’t rush him. If he needs to start a new life, we get it, everything must remind him of trauma right now, but if he ever wants to get back in touch with us. Well, I’ll love him forever too. But also tell him that he should have been more careful in that letter he wrote if any of us had been feeling suicidal his comment about being friends again after death might have been the last push we needed over the metaphorical edge-”

She was taking a deep breath to continue her lecture when Sam wrapped her other arm around Jazz’ shoulder and pulled her away. “Well we’re not, it’s fine, let’s go sit down before Tucker collapses from dehydration from all these tears.”

“I’m not going to collapse! I’m not even crying that much!” Tucker insisted, his voice audibly wet.

Batman and Diane kept their faces straight while Sam dragged them all into the little building and to seats in the front row. Then Batman’s lips twitched up in a slight smile and Diana gave a weak laugh. “I knew they wouldn’t be as angry with Phantom as he feared,” Batman said, trying to keep his amusement under control.

“What a precocious girl, a big sister through and through,” Diana agreed and sniffled a little, it seemed their grief had gotten to her a little. He understood.

Slowly more people filtered in, just other heroes now, and one young woman called Val. Sam said to let her in even though there was clearly tension there, the heroes didn’t ask.

The scheduled time of the funeral Diana and Batman went inside, closing the door after them and, since Danny hadn’t wanted a priest so Batman started to make his way to the front to start things off.

“We’re here today in remembrance of Danny Phantom, a brave young man lost to soon in the line of duty. He never should have had to join the fight so young,” Batman stumbled a little when he saw Jason slip in at the back of the chapel. He had sort of though Jason wasn’t coming, but there he was, dressed in his Red Hood get up, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. Batman could tell that he was on edge, but he was here, and it would make Danny happy. He took a deep breath and carried on with his planned remarks.

When he was done he stepped down off the little podium and Jazz stepped up, pulling some queue cards out of her pocket, taking a deep breath and launching into a planned speech. She was a good public speaker, she managed to keep it together through her speech but her words were clearly very heartfelt.

It went well, a few more people spoke, by the end Batman was actually having a hard time keeping his feeling under control, he maybe should have came as Bruce Wayne so he could have cried. He kept it under control though and eventually it was time to bring the coffin out to the prepared grave. They hadn’t fully planned who would carry it because they hadn’t known if Danny’s friends and sister were going to come, but now that they were here of course they were invited to help carry the coffin.

Batman and Diana took the majority of the weight of course, but all three of them took the offer to help carry the coffin the prepared grave. They lowered it in and Superman placed the specially made vault over top that would protect Danny’s body from, well, the usual stuff super heroes had to deal with, bodies being stolen for experimentation, attempted cloning’s, resurrection but wrong, all that jazz.

Jasmin through in the first handful of dirt, then Sam, then Tucker and then the heroes joined in. When the grave started to be filled properly a lot of the heroes started to wander away, Batman approached Jason who was hanging back.

“Please stay,” He murmured to his estranged son, seeing Jason’s shoulders tense, his arms were still crossed defensively. “Phantom will be bringing his body one most of the people clear out and he’d really like to meet you. If you don’t mind, he just died, and it’s been hard on him, I think meeting you would be a comfort.” He watched with bated breath as Jason’s fingers twitched and tightened on his own arms before he nodded. Bruce breathed a subtle sigh of relief and nodded, turning back towards the grave.

Once the grave was filled and basically everyone else had either left or gone back to the little chapel to socialize, Danny finally arrived. He faded into view, seemingly almost shy, watching them both closely for their reaction. Bruce understood why, he had to carefully school his expression when he saw the state that Danny’s body was in. It wasn’t that he was dead obviously, ashen and limp, passed the stage of rigger it seemed, it was the visible injuries. He was littered with cuts and bruises, there were stull cuffs around his ankles and wrists which had clearly burned into his skin. The wound that had killed him was, well, it looked like an autopsy had been done, his chest was fully open, but Batman knew it had been done while he was still alive. It was horrific.

Batman managed to keep himself under control though his breathing sped up, Hood’s mask completely hid his face but he rocked back like he’d been struck. Danny hesitated, licked his lips a little and stepped forward.

“I can’t touch the cuffs, but I don’t want too bury him with them still on. Will you take them off for me? They shouldn’t burn you,” Danny asked Bruce.

He was about to say yes when Jason cut in, “I’m better at picking locks then him, I’ll do it.” He practically growled, stalking forward and pulling his lock picking kit out of one of the pockets on his suit. “Who did this to him,- You?” He asked softly as Danny knelt, cradling his own corps close to his chest, letting Jason kneel in front of him and take one of the limp arms to start on the cuffs. Jason hissed when he touched it, it burned a little but he breathed through it and started to pick the lock.

“It was the GIW, the ghost investigation ward. I killed the ones who did it, and the justice league helped me disband the rest of the organization and overturn the laws that enabled it,” Danny responded, his green eyes locked unblinkingly on Jason, watching him as he watched Jason work on the locks.

“Good, I’m glad their dead. That must have felt good,” He chuckled vindictively.

“I am too, but I’m more glad they won’t get to hurt anyone else. They might have gone for you if they were still able.”

“Me? Why?” Jason asked, his fingers twitching, he cursed softly when the lock pick slipped, he grumbled and started again.

“Because you died before didn’t you? The cuffs burn you because you’re not… completely alive anymore I won’t ask anything about it, I know that’s private but if you ever want to talk about it, or if you need help with the… side affects, I’d be happy to help you,” Phantom offered softly. Jason only hummed in response, he needed to process and consider that.

When the final cuff fell to the ground Danny took a deep breath and curled around himself, resting his forehead against his body’s hair. From the way his shoulders were shaking they could tell he was crying, Jason rested a hand on Danny’s shoulder, just being there for him until Phantom was ready and finally sunk into the ground. He was down there for a long time before he surfaced again, flying over to hug batman, burrowing against his chest a little while Batman patted his back gently, Jason standing by awkwardly.

“Thank you so much for doing this, and thank you both so much for coming. This really means so much to me.”

“Of course kid,” Jason said, reaching out to ruffle the boy’s soft white hair.

Batman nodded, giving Danny a gentle squeeze, “No one deserves to be forgotten.”

Tag list: @kikkobara @phlebocuffs @spikethecrazycat @spookytragedyshark @thatonegaybitch68 @stargazer-luna @fangirlnerd001 @seraphinedemort @yjfk @rosieparker1856 @battlebunnyteardropsinthesun and thank you too @your-local-idiot-savant for giving me feedback on some parts

[cameronspecial]

I'm Here

Pairing: Dad!Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings:  N/A

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 0.7K

Summary: Taking care of kids can be stressful, especially when running on low sleep. Good thing Rafe is a supportive husband.

Masterlist

Y/N had been home all day with three-year-old Mila and newborn Parker. It had been a stressful day for the mother with the former refusing to eat anything her mother made and the latter refusing to stop crying her little head off. She is on the verge of crying and she wants to call Rafe for backup, but she knows he has important meetings today. “How about a nice plate of dumplings? Mommy can order some,” Y/N offers her three-year-old. Mila shakes her head defiantly and crosses her arms, “NO!” The shout triggers her younger sister into another round of screaming. Y/N squeezes her eyes shut and rounds the corner to go pick up her crying daughter. “Mila, please don’t shout around Parker. You know it upsets her,” she chides her eldest. This causes Mila to start her own crying and this stresses Y/N out even more. The mother starts bouncing the baby up and down to see if it will calm her. 

At that moment, Rafe enters through the front door wearing his dress shirt with the sleeves buttoned up his forearm, his tie untied and hanging from his neck, and in black dress pants. His hair is devilishly run through by his fingers. This sexy business look is the reason why Parker was born. Y/N can’t admire her husband’s handsomeness because the newborn baby in her arms starts wiggling like crazy. Y/N’s face contorts to stress, which doesn’t go unnoticed by Rafe. “Are they going through another phase?” he asks, coming to give her a kiss. Y/N relishes in the feeling of his lips, “Yes. One doesn’t want to eat anything and the other won’t stop crying. I don’t know what is going on.” Tears start to swell in her eyes as her frustration starts to creep to the surface. Rafe sits beside her on the couch and gives her back a reassuring rub. He places a kiss on her temple and takes Parker into his arms. 

“It’s okay, I’m here. Why don’t you let me take care of the kids? I know you can handle it, but I also know you didn’t get a lot of sleep last night because you were taking care of Parker so that I could get to work on time. I am very grateful for that, so why don’t you take a nap while I take care of the kids,” he suggests, walking over to Mila and placing her on her chair at the table. Y/N closes her eyes and takes a small nap. When she wakes up, she can’t help but notice the silence and gush at the sight before her. Rafe is in the kitchen cutting strawberries into a star shape. Every few cuts, he would move Parker’s bassinet back and forward. Once all of the strawberries are cut, Rafe moves on to flipping the grilled cheeses on the stove. He plates the sandwiches and cuts them into a heart shape. He makes sure to eat any of the excess food so it doesn’t go to waste. 

He puts the strawberries onto the plate next to the sandwich and adds some square-shaped cucumbers too. He takes one plate over to Mila, who is watching Bluey while she patiently waits for her food, and brings the other one over to his wife. He checks over his shoulder to make sure that Mila is eating her food and gives Y/N a kiss on the lips. “I know you haven’t eaten, so please eat,” he whispers against her lips. Y/N gives him a relieved smile and takes the plate into her hands, “Thank you. How did you get Mila to eat and Parker to stop crying?” Rafe sits beside her and brings her onto his lap. “It took some bargaining to get Mila to eat. She would eat whatever I made her if I cut it into a pretty shape. And to get Parker to stop crying, I found blankie and it made her stop crying,” he tells her. 

Y/N ahh’s in understanding as to what she did wrong. She doesn’t feel like a bad parent for forgetting those details about her daughters, she knows her tiredness was the reason behind it. She is just thankful that Rafe was there to help support her. 

[avatar-saiki]

Beel's Takeout

Beelzebub/reader, 2.2k words

CW: Suggestive, public scene

Summary:

Inspired by a tweet by HarmlessGhosty:

"Just wanna run soft fingertips up the inside of Beel’s thigh and see how easily it distracts him from eating his snack."

It was so hot.

Beelzebub sat down heavily on the bench and took off his helmet to wipe sweat from his brow, starting to feel a little dizzy. The heat wave rolling through the Devildom was more intense than he’d last remembered, but it hadn’t stopped him from playing until today. When a few of his teammates began collapsing in the heat, the coach finally decided to call off practice for the day and sent everyone to the showers. 

But it was still so hot.

Even as the icy water ran down his back, the dizziness in his head wouldn’t go away. To make matters worse, he’d already eaten all the snacks he’d packed for practice and dinner was still a few hours away. As if on cue, his stomach grumbled at the thought and he groaned under his breath. This wasn’t good. Dizzy, lightheaded, and starving? That was just asking for trouble.

Maybe he could stop by Madame Scream’s for a quick bite? He’d heard they were selling all sorts of frozen treats, but he hadn’t had time to check it out yet. Another roll of hunger answered the thought for him, and he smiled to himself, getting dressed quickly. 

It wouldn’t hurt to invite you along too.

He’d sent you the message, hoping you’d be free but offered to bring you something back if not. He hoped you’d say yes, not just to see you but also because he… wasn’t so sure he’d be able to resist eating whatever you might ask him to bring home. It didn’t happen every time, and the few times it had you weren’t that upset, but he still hated seeing the disappointment on your face when he wasn’t able to bring you back something tasty.

Especially if it was too tasty.

But you agreed to meet him, your smile so refreshing when your eyes met. The line was already out the door, but it was moving fast.

“How was practice today?” you asked when he reached your spot in line.

“It was okay,” he said, reaching up to touch his forehead. “I wasn’t able to run as far, but I still managed to stay up whenever someone tried to tackle me.”

“I’m surprise you all still played,” you said with a soft hum, “It’s so hot out I would’ve thought it’d be cancelled.”

“I think that’s why they couldn’t bring me down,” he agreed, “we might be able to tolerate extreme temperatures better but even demons can get overheated.”

You grinned up at him. “Is that why we’re on a little ice cream date?”

He blushed a little and looked down. Your feet were so much smaller than his. “I… thought it might be nice. Food usually tastes better when you eat with someone.”

“Well I’ll never say no to ice cream!” You said with a cheerful laugh, reaching for the door when it was finally your turn to enter.

The inside of the shop was nice and cool, a sharp contrast to the harshness of the outside, but the dizziness in his head wasn’t ready to leave just yet. But the scents… the scents that wafted in the air so sugary and sweet…

“Beel, you’re drooling,” you teased, and he blinked, bringing a hand to touch his lips.

“I am?”

You laughed and shook your head. “Almost. Did you not eat lunch today?”

“No, I did. I had a roasted hellhog sandwich with extra fries.”

“Well no wonder you’re hungry if that’s all you had!”

He smiled sheepishly, “Well, I did ask for seconds and thirds, and then my snacks…”

You grinned up at him. “You’re really making me jealous, Beel. I wish I could eat like you.”

His face warmed, but it felt a little different than the heat of outside. It was something that only seemed to happen with you. Something about you made him feel… warm.

“I don’t think it’s something you should be jealous of,” he said quietly, resting a hand on his stomach. “It’s… not always fun, especially for those around me.” You’d even seen it before, the few times when his gluttony was too much for him to control and the beast he’d become when hunger devoured his senses.

“What’re you talking about? We’re getting ice cream! That’s more fun than anything I can think of!”

There it was again. That… warm… comforting feeling.

“We should probably eat it before we get home. Lucifer usually gets mad at me for eating too many sweets before dinner.”

“Why?” you stepped up to the counter and looked over all the different options. “Sweets have never ruined your appetite, have they?”

“No… but,” he tilted his head in thought. “I guess I don’t know why he gets mad about it.”

“He gets mad about a lot of things,” you said, pointing at the flavor you wanted while the demon at the counter scooped and placed it into a bowl. “If it’s not you, it’s Mammon. Or Belphie. Or Levi. Or I don’t know, someone. Someone always has to be the hard ass and he embraces it with joy, I think.”

He chuckled and ordered a double scoop of blood strawberry and hell raspberry, but when he moved to pay you swiped your card too fast. 

“Hey I was going to—”

“It’s okay,” you said, picking up both bowls with a wink. “You can pay next time.”

“I… okay,” he said, following you outside. You looked around at the tables all set outside the shop and frowned, all of them already filled with patrons enjoying their frozen treats. 

“Why don’t we go to the park?” you suggested, turning on your heel to walk backward while he followed. “There’s some benches we could go sit on, right?”

“We could also eat while we walk home,” he said, the mixture of cream and fruit serenading him and making his mouth water. 

You giggled and shook your head, turning around again and setting off toward the park. “Nope! If we do that the date’ll be over way too soon!”

He groaned inwardly, feeling his stomach gurgle and your scent mixing in with the sugar and cream was not helping.

“Okay,” he said softly, following after you. Just focus on the good warmth he felt inside every time you smiled. That warmth that always hit in his chest but somehow made him feel a little fuller.

“Ugh,” you groaned and plopped down on the first bench you saw and spread out your legs. “How is it so hot when there’s no sun?”

He tilted his head slightly, “Does the sun make your world hot?”

“Well, yeah?” You raised both bowls of ice cream to the sky. “It’s a massive fireball beaming light and heat on us where I’m from.”

He looked up at the sky filled with countless stars. “Aren’t all stars like that?” He knew Belphegor would talk about the life cycles of stars sometimes, but he couldn’t remember all of it. “Maybe all the stars are like your sun?”

You laughed and held his bowl out to him. “Yeah, maybe? Who knows. I still can’t wrap my head around it always being night here.”

He took the bowl and sat down beside you, glancing down at you kicking your feet while you happily ate your ice cream. Were all humans always this small, or was he large?

“I didn’t think about that… do you miss your sun?”

“Sometimes, but lately I- oh—!” You squeezed your eyes shut and pressed your lips together. “Agh! Brainfreeze!”

Somehow that made him smile and he turned his attention to his treat, scooping up a bite and moaning when the first cooling relief touched his tongue. The berries were tart and sweet, the cream luscious and silky, and the texture so soft as it slid down his throat he couldn’t help sighing contentedly. 

“I needed this,” he said, scooping up another spoonful. Then another. Soon the ache and dizziness from Fangol practice began to ebbe away and he looked down at you. “How’s yours?”

You bit your lip, still holding your bowl but it didn’t seem like you’d eaten much. “Oh! No, it’s good!” you smiled sheepishly up at him, noticing his disappointment, “Sorry, I think it might just be a bit too cold for me, I have to eat it slower.”

“Oh,” he frowned a little. “I didn’t know… maybe I should’ve tried to find something from the human—”

“No, no! It’s great!” you shook your head and shoved another bite in your mouth, nose crinkling adorably when you shivered. “Be-Besides—” you stuttered, shivering again. “I-I’m pretty sh-sure anything from the h-human realm would’ve melted b-by now.”

“I can finish yours,” he said, taking the bowl from you. “Next time we can try an ice cream shop in the human realm?”

You sighed and leaned back to gaze up at the stars. “Yeah, that could be fun.”

He stacked the bowls together and dipped his spoon into yours, curious of the flavor you’d chosen. “It’d have to be further in the future. I know Mammon and Levi will be excited to go, but it still takes a lot for all of us to travel together.” The fact that you had a pact with all seven of them wasn’t helpful either. A shiver ran down his spine. Lucifer would not be happy about all the paperwork that would take.

“Yeah…”

The spoon clinked against his teeth and he tensed, looking down to confirm it was in fact your hand resting on his thigh.

“It could be fun with all of them,” you said with a wistful smile, eyes still dazzled by stars. The look in your eyes was always something that made him feel all sorts of things inside, like hunger but…

It didn’t hurt.

“But I think…” you continued, thumb caressing his leg absentmindedly while his heart raced in his chest.

“… It could be fun to go just the two of us.”

A new shiver ran down his back as your hand drifted higher, and he shoved a massive spoonful in his mouth to cool the rising heat inside.

“Don’t you think?” you asked, tilting your head to gaze up at him with a smile.

Your eyes were so bright and innocent, but your hand was not supposed to be there! Didn’t you know what your touch could do?

“Beel?”

He swallowed thickly and your smile brightened.

“How’s the ice cream?” You asked, fingers drifting down along his inner thigh as you leaned onto his leg for support. “Is it good?”

“Yes…” he said, unable to speak above more than a simple breath. “Did you… want some more?”

You shook your head and he took the opportunity to distract himself with another spoonful, trying to focus on the flavors on his tongue but everything melted when your pinky grazed his balls.

“It’s too cold for me,” you said, rubbing across his leg to not so subtly stroke your finger against him, that smile turning coy. 

“Oh… right,” he tried to take another bite, but it must’ve dissolved on his tongue because he couldn’t taste anything at all. “I forgot you said that.”

You chuckled and knelt up, placing your free hand on his chest, making him swallow a second time.

“That’s okay…” you said softly, eyes focused on his mouth. Was he drooling again? He really tried to not think about how good you smelled, but it was so hard when you were this close. Usually if he had food nearby it wasn’t so bad, but this. This was—

You leaned in closer and licked the corner of his mouth with a gentle hum. “Mm~ booberry.”

A jolt ran through his spine and he sat up stalk-straight, feeling no less cooled than before.

“What was that for?” he asked. “If you wanted some I could’ve—” 

Your hand drifted higher and he dropped the bowls, ice cream splattering on the ground while he grabbed your wrist, face feeling like it was on fire. 

“Don’t touch me there,” he said under his breath. “Not here. I can’t… I won’t be able to stop myself.”

You cupped his cheek and kissed him, slipping your tongue into his mouth and filling it with the spiced sweetness of your lust. He groaned, unable to help himself as he reached up to cup the back of your head, deepening the kiss and sucking on that sweet, sinful tongue. Any time he managed to sneak a taste of your soul it was all he could think of for days, but now? Now all he wanted was more.

A little nip on his tongue drew him back, giving you space to breathe. “Careful, Beel, we’re still at the park…”

“I don’t want to let you go,” he murmured. 

“Yeah, it would be a shame to stop so soon after just getting started,” you mused, sitting back down with your chest nestled close to his arm. “Maybe we could sneak in a little dessert before dinner back home?”

“No,” he frowned, “my brothers will all be home by now, there’s no way we’d find time alone.”

“Oh… well then, maybe we...” you shifted and palmed over him, stilling his breath when you felt along his hardening cock, “…find a room to stay in and order some takeout? And then I take you out~”

He shivered again and held your wrist firm. “That could be dangerous… just you and me.”

“I know,” you whispered, words so soft and light on his neck. “It’s worth it for a taste~”

[and-claudia]

His Heir pt. 41 (Darth Maul x pregnant! reader)

Hey long time no see. Life is a shit show for me, but here's the next part of His Heir. It's not super edited, die like men, IG.

Wordcount: 3334

Taglist sign up

gif not mine

The next morning was a whirlwind of chaos. I got dressed in my everyday clothes after I got up and ate the breakfast that was brought to our room for us before heading out to attend to the list Totin had given me. He was busy with last-minute stuff and had me to check that everything and everyone was prepared for the dress rehearsal that evening. It wasn’t too long of a list and was definitely manageable, even being as pregnant as I was. 

First on the list was to make sure that the ceremony space was set up correctly. I loved Totin to death, but he was very particular about things that he has envisioned in his head. This would be no exception, and if a single thing was out of place it would upset him and that was the last thing I wanted to do. 

“This one, it’s missing a flower.” I said, pointing out one of the displays placed at the end of one of the rows. 

“Yes, we know, that’s why we placed it further back, so it was less noticeable.” One of the decorators that was with me explained. 

“No, it needs to be fixed. Nothing can be out of place or missing.” I said, continuing to look around, trying to see if anything else was wrong. 

Everything else seemed to be okay, so I sent the servant droids to round up everyone who would be in attendance for the rehearsal dinner to give them the information they would need. We were meeting in the great hall. Since the palace was so huge it took nearly half an hour to get everyone rounded up and to the meeting location. Once everyone was there and was sitting, I rose from my seat and cleared my throat to get everyone’s attention. 

“Okay, thank you, everyone, for meeting me here. I am just going to give you a rundown of how everything is going to happen for today and tomorrow. Today, after lunch, if you are in the wedding party, meet in the pre-disclosed getting-ready area for hair and or makeup for tonight.

As we all know, Totin and Dasar do not do anything small or simple and everything must be photographed and or recorded. So, please be sure your attire does adhere to the dress code for each event. I highly recommend eating at least something, because once hair and makeup are done, everyone will get dressed and then head to the ceremony space for the rehearsal and who knows how long that will take,” everyone laughed a little at that, knowing how Totin can be about his events, “Dinner will be after the rehearsal. Then tomorrow will look very similar to today but the getting ready process will start after breakfast and not lunch because the ceremony is early in the afternoon.” 

Everyone nodded along as I gave all the details. Once I was finished I allowed them to ask questions to clarify anything, then once everything was settled, I dismissed everyone to continue their day until it was time to get ready for the rehearsal. 

The next big thing on my agenda was to check that everyone’s gowns and suits were ready for them in the getting-ready areas. Maul tagged along to keep me company. 

“Okay, there should be…38 different suits in here.” I said, checking my datapad. 

“38?” Maul asked, shocked. 

“Yup… they know a lot of people. I have all their names and a picture of what they submitted to wear. I just have to make sure they match up and are labeled for the right person. And that the servant droids have pressed and steamed them.” 

“Here, give me the datapad. I’ll call out the names and what they should have and you can check them.” He offered. 

“Thank you.” I said, handing him the datapad.

I didn’t mind that he was getting the easier part of the task. It was my task to do after all, and I was fully capable of doing it alone. I was just happy to have help. 

We had gotten about halfway through the suits when there was a knock on the door. I looked at Maul with my eyebrows furrowed before calling out. 

“Come in!” 

The door opened, and in rushed Totin. He was clearly frazzled. 

“Have you seen the servant droids?” He asked. 

“No. Last I heard, they were supposed to be prepping all the dresses… why what’s wrong?” I asked calmly. 

“I can’t find my suit… Dasar has his, but mine is missing. I told them to steam and press it with all the others, but now I don’t know where it is! Dasar pressed his own and offered to do mine, but I didn’t want him to worry about it but now I am thinking I should’ve let him do it because now mine is gone! I can’t walk down the aisle naked, Yn, I can’t! Well, I could, I would look great, but this isn’t the time nor the place for that…” 

As he continued to spiral, Maul subtly flashed me the datapad. At the very bottom of the list, Totin’s name was there with what he should be wearing as well. 

“Totin,” I took a step towards him and carefully grabbed his arms, “deep breath.” I did the same to get him to do it with me, “Now, did you tell the droids to bring all suits to this room?” 

“Well, yeah. Are we missing another one?” He asked, clearly missing what I was trying to get him to realize. 

“No. Totin, all of them are here.” I said, emphasizing all. 

The relaxation and relaxation was visible all over his body. 

“It’s here?”

I nodded, “It’s here.” 

He sighed heavily, and I released his arms before leading him to the last suit hanging along the wall. 

“You’re a lifesaver. You know that, right?” 

I smiled, “I try. Now, do you want to take this with you now or do you want to send for one of the droids?” I asked. 

“I think I’ll just take it…” he said, carefully reaching up to take it off its hook. 

I continued to get everything else ready that I needed to. It was then a little over half an hour before lunch. Perfect timing. 

“Maul, I arranged to have lunch brought to the room, care to join me for a quick nap? Maker knows I’ll need one to make it through tonight.” I joked, already starting the journey back to the room. 

“It would be my pleasure.” He said with a slight smile. “Just so we’re clear, I mean an actual nap, not a handsy leading to more type of nap.” I said with a small laugh. 

“You’re no fun.” He teased, but I knew he wasn’t really disappointed, he knew I had a lot to take care of both today and tomorrow, and this rest was needed. 

Once we got to the room, we just at half an hour for me to close my eyes before the food got there. After we ate, Maul escorted me to where the ladies were getting ready before heading off to get ready himself. Although he wasn’t actually in the wedding party, he was my date for lack of a better term, so he had to get drug to all the preparations.

Since I had to go double-check that everything was running smoothly, I had to get hair and makeup done first. It was nothing fancy, just some light, natural makeup and a nice touch-up on my hair to keep it out of my face. 

Then, I had one of the girls there help me put on my dress. I used to be able to get into and out of dresses without any assistance, but being pregnant threw me way off balance, so it was nice to have an extra set of hands to help with the zipper. Then last thing to do was to put on my shoes. Tomorrow, for the wedding, I would wear actual heels to match everyone else, but I knew that if I wore them tonight as well, my feet would be beyond sore tomorrow, so with Totin’s approval, I opted to wear flats for tonight. 

Once I was ready, I made sure everyone in my dressing area was good to go and did not need anything from me before I left. Then, I made my way to where those wearing suits were getting ready. I knocked and made sure everyone was dressed before entering. Things were understandably going quicker in here. There weren’t as many needing makeup done in here, so most of them were just getting their hair touched up or fixed for the evening. In Maul’s case, he was doing a quick touch-up on his horns at one of the far mirrors. I smiled to myself, remembering the times I’d gotten to help him. I wanted to go over and offer my help now, but I knew I couldn’t. I had to make sure everything was on track. I made a few quick announcements to everyone and when there were no questions in response, I left with the handful of people that were ready and walked to where the rehearsal was taking place. 

I had a datapad once again with me. This one gave a detailed list of who walks when. It didn’t take long for more people to trickle in and so I began lining everyone up. I called out names and got them in line and told them whether they would stand on Totin’s or Dasar’s side when they got down the aisle. Dasar showed up and stood at the front of the line. It took about 10 minutes from when the last few people arrived for me to get everyone where they needed to be. Luckily, though, instead of walking individually or splitting at the end of the aisle to either side, they had decided that each pair would stand together, alternating which side they would stand on. My name was last on the list, right before Totin, which was a huge honor. I got into my spot and asked Totin if I was good to tell those inside to open the doors and begin the rehearsal. 

“Yes, that’s fine, but why isn’t Maul here?” He asked glancing to where the Zabark in question stood off to the side. 

“He wasn’t on the list…” I said, confused. 

“Well, I thought it was a given that he would be walking you down?” He said as if it were obvious, “Everyone is walking down with their partners if they have one.” 

It was only then that I realized that everyone here was a couple. 

“Oh…” was all I could say before excusing myself to go get Maul. 

He was just as confused as I was for a moment, but regardless, he came over to join me. Once we were back in line, I used the comlink to tell them to start, and soon, the huge double doors opened in unison, and music began to play. Luckily someone was at the doors telling people when to walk, so I wouldn’t have to do that as well. 

I felt a tap on my shoulder as Totin leaned down, “You didn’t really think I would let you walk down the aisle without the man of your dreams did you?” He said right before it was our turn to walk. 

I felt heat creep up in my cheeks as Maul and I walked down together. I was holding onto his arm, stealing glances up at him from time to time.

“What?” He asked quietly. 

“Nothing… I just hope the next time I am walking down an aisle after this wedding is at ours.” I said. 

Maul very rarely smiled genuinely, especially in the public eye, but upon hearing my words, he had the biggest smile out of anyone in that room. 

“It will be, I promise.” He whispered just as we got to the end of the aisle. 

We turned to go stand on the side that Totin would be on and waited for him to walk down as well.

Surprisingly, the rehearsal of the ceremony only took about an hour. They didn’t say their actual vows, wanting to save them for tomorrow. We all practiced our exit, and then it was time to head to the dinning hall for dinner. I was getting really tired as the night drug on, and after eating, my tiredness only grew. I had scooted my chair closer to Maul and had been resting my head on his shoulder. I hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but the next thing I knew, Maul was nudging me slightly. 

“I’m so sorry.” I said quickly, glancing around to see who had seen me asleep. 

“It’s okay, Totin wanted me to come tell you that you can leave. We both know you have been on your feet all day, making sure everything was running smoothly. Which we thank you for, so much. Go get some rest. We will see you tomorrow.” Dasar said gently. 

“Tell him I said thank you.” I said before turning to Maul. 

He stood up before helping me do the same. He bid Dasar a goodnight before leading us out of the hall. The walk to the room felt like it was taking ages. When we finally got there, the moment we were in the door, I was already turning my back to him to get him to help take my dress off. He undid the zipper and carefully helped me out of it. Then he took the garment over to the wardrobe to hang it until the housekeeping droids came to get it. He brought me a tunic to sleep in, as I sat down on the edge of the bed. 

The next morning was a whirlwind of getting ready. I allowed myself to sleep in a little later and just get ready in my room instead of with everyone else. The golden dress fit perfectly and complemented Maul’s tan suit nicely. 

“That’s a good color on you.” I commented as he fixed the jacket in the vanity mirror. 

He hummed in response. 

“I am almost ready. I was just going to repolish my horns one last time.” He said, grabbing what he needed from his toiletry bag. 

“May I help?” I asked. 

“Of course.” He said, moving to sit down in the chair, which I had used to do my makeup earlier. 

I admittedly took longer than I needed to with the task, wanting to soak up every moment of calmness before the inevitable chaos of today started. 

“We need to get going, love.” Maul finally said gently. 

I nodded, “I know…”

Without a word, he stood up and walked me back to the bedroom to help me with my shoes. Then, before I knew it, we were watching Dasar walk down the aisle for real. Their vows were absolutely beautiful. You could really tell how much they loved one another. I slightly cursed my damn hormones as my eyes began to water when they kissed. Maul subtly pulled out a small handkerchief and passed it to me so I could wipe my eyes. 

After the ceremony, there was about an hour lull to allow everyone to change into the reception attire. This dress was a lot more fun than the one I had worn to both the rehearsal dinner and the ceremony. It had sequins that were sure to catch the light and shine and sparkle all night long…or as long as I would last. 

Maul didn’t really change, instead, he just removed his suit jacket, leaving him in just a tan vest over a white button-down. 

Once we were both dressed, we made our way to the grand ballroom, where the reception was to take place. Once again, we were lined up in the same order we were in for the ceremony; however, now, both Dasar and Totin stood behind Maul and me. Someone with a datapad was going down the row asking everyone how they would like to be announced upon their entry. I was a little shocked when they stopped before they got to Maul and me but Dasar told me to just trust him. 

It wasn’t too long before we were next. I was a little confused by what Dasar had said… how were they going to announce us? 

“Now welcome, Lord Maul, Lady Mand'alor Yn, and their heir to Crimson Dawn!” The DJ said, causing a huge uproar of applause as Maul and I walked in. 

I was a bit embarrassed that he included our titles, but everyone here knew of those titles, I just didn’t want to take away any attention from them. Also, under different circumstances, the mention that our son was the heir to a crime syndicate wasn’t something I wanted to be announced; however, again, everyone here already knew that. 

Within no time the party was in full swing. The formalities like cutting the cake, the first dance, and parent dances were all over and now it was time to have fun. I found a few old friends of Dasar and I and danced with them as much as I could. And I must say, despite my center of gravity being completely thrown off, I held my own pretty damn well and was still able to get down. Unfortunately, one aspect of the pregnancy I couldn’t work around was the fact that I get winded much faster now. Unfortunately, I had to take frequent breaks between dancing to catch my breath. 

Maul was dotting over me the whole time, though. Anytime I came off the floor to sit down to take a breather, he was right there with a glass of water for me. However, eventually, I couldn’t keep going much longer and I knew my night would be coming to a close soon. 

I walked off the floor to sit down again and was surprised when I couldn’t find Maul anywhere. Regardless I took a seat, figuring he may be off getting himself a drink or something and would return soon. Which he did. He sat next to me in his chair and grabbed my hand.

“You doing alright?” He asked over the music. 

“Yeah… getting tired, though. I think it may be time to call it quits.” I said with a laugh, though I was very serious. 

“Do you have the energy for one more dance?” He asked. 

“For you, always.” I said with a smile. 

The song that was playing ended, fading into a much slower song. One that I recognized quickly. It was one of my favorite slow songs. Maul stood up and offered me his hand. I took it and he helped me stand before leading me to the dance floor. He held me close to him, and I leaned into him, cheek resting against him. I had slipped off my heels earlier in the evening so he was quite a bit taller than I was now. 

“I love you.” He whispered mid-song. 

“I love you too, Maul.” I said, pulling back just enough to look up at him. 

“I had the housekeeping droids pack our things already. They left us both something to sleep in and something to wear tomorrow to depart in.” Maul said quietly. 

“What? We’re supposed to stay a few more days.” I said, confused and slightly hurt. There was still more celebrating that would happen. Admittedly, they would be much more of a party atmosphere with drinking and even possibly some spice, I wanted to be here for it, for my friend. 

“I know you wanted to stay, but I have arranged something for us, with the help of Dasar and Totin. They said we could return later after the baby to celebrate with them again.” He explained. 

“Okay… what are we doing?” I asked still confused. 

“That is a surprise.” He said with a small smile. 

@fan-g0rl @mxkyrie @onceuponanightmareisawme @lothiriel9 @wordsfromshona @kgbtardis @wondermia69 @mh073099 @ktrivia @fifithexeno @perseny @justalittletomato @pomiotszatana @ameliachastain @lune-de-miel-au-paradis @its-me-meg 

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[prentissluvr]

two mugs, half empty — luke alvez

pairing : luke alvez x bau!gn!reader (can be read as platonic or romantic) ➖⟢ genre : hurt/comfort ➖⟢ cw : feelings of guilt and shame, nightmare mentions, talk of canon typical violence, crying ➖⟢ wc : 2.8K

“you look like hell.”

“wow, thank you, luke. way to compliment somebody,” you deadpan, even though he said it with a voice full of empathy. he gives you a good-natured roll of his eyes before his face returns to that concerned look you opened your apartment door to.

“but seriously, did you sleep at all over the weekend?” you want to hate how much he cares about you, but the sincerity of his voice has you nearly ready to cave. 

“come in,” you offer, completely ignoring his question because the answer is “no, not really.” he raises his eyebrows at your lack of response, but steps in after you anyways. he can guess the answer well enough from the exhaustion evident in your whole figure.

you sit down with him in the kitchen, grabbing him a glass of water before he can say no to it. his gaze on you is heavy, but you ignore it in favor of examining the wood of the table in front of you. since you won’t say anything, he goes first.

“i came to check on you,” he states the obvious, “i’m– we’re kinda worried about you, you know? like, you haven’t responded to any of my texts all day and you never call in sick, even when you probably should, so i figured you’d probably be bedridden for you to make the choice to stay home.” he pauses for a long moment, as if inviting for you to explain why you’re, in fact, not bedridden, and not really physically sick at all. you don’t say a word. “so,” he prompts, “what’s up? why’d you turn down drinks with the rest of the team on saturday? kinda feels like you’re avoiding us.”

“i am avoiding you guys,” your voice comes out far quieter than you intended. you had wanted to sound nonchalant, and all you got was exhaustion. you sigh before continuing, “because you’re profilers and i don’t want to talk about it.” he sighs too.

“if it’s so bad that you went to the lengths to call off sick from work to avoid talking about it, it seems to me like it’s something you should talk about.”

you turn your head even further from him because you know he’s right. you’ve been holed up in your apartment, agonizing over what happened three nights ago, desperate to scream and cry about it to someone else. god knows you’ve done enough of that with yourself, but you’re reverting to old habits and it feels like you’re back to only knowing how to avoid, avoid, and keep avoiding.

“listen, i don’t want to push you, but i need you to know that i’m here for you.” his hand hovers over yours for a moment, silently asking permission before gently wrapping his fingers around yours. you clench your jaw and bite the inside of your cheek to keep tears from forming in your eyes. honestly, you didn’t think you could produce anymore, but here you are, trying not to cry in front of your coworker turned close friend whom you’ve probably upset by ignoring him.

luke gains a little bit of hope when you squeeze his hand. he squeezes back, hoping you feel the love and care that he puts into it. you do, and it doesn’t help your case with the whole crying ordeal.

“thanks,” you whisper. the thickness in your voice completely gives you away. tilting your head up to try to stop the flow of tears is plain old silly at this point, and he watches with a weight heavy on his heart as they overflow and fall down your cheeks. the tears catch in the light of the only lamp that’s turned on in the room. “fuck. goddammit,” you curse through the tears, well aware they won’t stop anytime soon. “luke,” you cry.

“i’m here,” he replies so earnestly without missing a beat that you begin to cry harder. that’s the last straw for him. quickly, he stands and wraps you up in his arms without a second thought. with you sitting, your face barely reaches his chest, and your arms reach around his lower torso. he’s got one hand rubbing up and down your back, the other cradling the back of your head into him. the way you hold onto him is desperate and breaks his heart, but he’s glad to give you something that you so clearly need. comfort.

“i–,” you try to explain, but you can’t get anywhere before choking on your own sobs.

“shhh, it’s okay. just let it out. i’m not going anywhere.” and he sticks to that promise, standing strong and unwavering, even after your tears run out and you can’t find it in yourself to pull away from him just yet. he doesn’t force a thing, just strokes the back of your head gently as a silent reminder that he’s there.

when you finally pull away, it’s only by a few inches, and he keeps his hands right where they are. he looks down at your face as you stare at the maroon fabric of his shirt and the tear stain you left behind. slowly, as if to not startle you, he bends down to be closer to your level. at first, you avoid meeting his eyes, but when the hand on your shoulder shifts up to your cheek and he gently wipes at the leftover tears, you let your gaze meet his. he gives you a smile, small and comforting, before speaking softly.

“i’m gonna make you some tea, alright?”

when you nod, his hands slide away from you, hesitant to let you go. your gaze follows his form as he turns and walks to the counter behind you, first grabbing your favorite mug from the cabinet and taking the liberty to grab one for himself too. then he’s at the pantry for the tea bags and he can feel your eyes on him. once the tea bags are on the counter, he’s by your side again. he gives you another soft smile as he grips the sides of your chair and turns it and you to face the counter. somehow luke just knows that him staying in your line of sight is a comfort to you, proof that he’s right there. he doesn’t want you to have to strain your neck in order to feel safe.

his silence as he fills and turns on the kettle, then sits back down beside you to wait for it to boil is a comfort too. it makes a difference that he’s not making you explain anything.

with him, the passage of time isn’t so horrible, and it’s easy to wait for the tea to be ready. when he sets the mug down in front of you, he tells you to be careful since it’s hot, even though you already know it. that’s when you make the decision that you will tell him what’s kept you holed up in your apartment for three days straight, what made you cry into his arms and skip work today.

it takes you four minutes of failed attempts to open your mouth and force a sound out of your throat before you finally get any words out. four minutes of sipping tea and thinking about how to start or how grateful you are that he’s here.

first comes a big, deep breath and another long moment of quiet. and then you realize you can’t just get into you, so you do your best and start by skirting around the actual problem.

“i know this job–” you have to clear your throat, “i know this job is really hard.” that sentence is kind of stupid purely because of how obvious it is, but you’ve at least started to tell him what this is all about. “and we’ve all learned ways to cope with that. i just– the way that, uh,” you pause to try and collect yourself a bit, but it does nothing to keep your voice from getting quiet, “the way that this last case ended? it, um, it…” suddenly you’re unsure what to even say. luke places his hand over your own, easing its shaking. you take another deep breath.”i can’t– i can’t get it out of my head. i can’t get her dead body out of my head and i can’t shake the feeling that it’s my fault.” 

he’s about to say something, assure you that it absolutely was not your fault, but then everything comes tumbling out.

“i know, logically, technically, that it’s not. i know that, i’ve rationalized this whole thing in my head, even out loud, over and over and over again for the past three days. i know, we didn’t profile him to be so paranoid. i played into his narcissism like i was supposed to, like anyone of us would have, but fuck! it was still my words that set him off, the shit i said got a bullet through her brain.” he squeezes your hand in support. “and when i wake up from the nightmares, i can still hear her whimpers as he held her at gunpoint, even worse, arguably, is her mom begging me to bring her home alive that same morning. you know what i told her? that we were doing everything we could to find her and bring her back, i promised.” the tears start up again. “i told her not to give up hope because the people i work with are incredibly good at their jobs. then i see her sobbing in the corner of the police station after rossi told her that her daughter was fucking dead. and you know what i fucking did? i put my head down and walked in the opposite direction with the excuse that reid could use some help taking down the evidence board.” 

your voice gets even shakier and the furrow in his worried brow deepens as you continue talking. “and i’m so ashamed, i’m so fucking ashamed, luke. i got her daughter killed and i couldn’t even tell her that–” a sob cuts you off, “that i’m sorry,” you cry. “i couldn’t face her. i couldn’t bear to see her crying about it or try and comfort her about it because i was too goddamn guilty to even look her in the eye. and now i see her and her dead daughter everytime i close my eyes.”

the silence after that is colossally heavy. to hear his softest voice calling your name as you stare into your half empty mug is enough to send more tears rushing down your cheeks. he sounds so heartbroken for you, like even he’s choked up by hearing your longwinded confession.

the way he moves is both careful and purposeful as he stands and urges you back into his embrace. this time your crying is quiet, just tears without sobs because you don’t have that left in you. it’s more short lived because it seems like your body’s finally run out of tears to give too. with one side of your face pressed against his shirt and his hands holding you there, it does feel a bit easier to breathe.

when he starts to talk, his voice is as soft as it has been all night. “i don’t want to tell you to just not feel ashamed or guilty. i wish you wouldn’t have to feel that way, really. but i want you to know that i understand. i don’t want to invalidate those things because they are real and they hurt and i understand why you’re feeling them. but it is not your fault. not for one second is it your fault. i’m sure you’ve reminded yourself this already, but we can never forget that it is only ever the fault of the people who pull the trigger on innocent lives.” 

you nod because he’s right, you’ve told yourself that many times. but you realize it makes a difference to hear these things out of his mouth, not just from your mind that was only desperate to ease your guilt. you suppose that’s what he wants too, but it’s somehow better.

he pulls away from you, and positions the chairs so that you’re sitting knee to knee as he holds both of your hands in his. he looks you in the eye as he speaks, every ounce of sincerity visible in his face and easy to hear in his voice.

“and we just can’t be perfect, we can’t be expected to be everything for everyone every time. dealing with family members who have lost their loved ones is one of, if not the, hardest thing that we have to do for this job. rossi was there for her this time, and it’s okay if it was too hard for you. what you did is completely understandable and completely okay. throughout this whole case, you followed procedure and you followed the profile. we all did. so if any of us stood where you did, with the mother and with the unsub, the same exact same thing could have happened. would you blame me for it if i were in your place?” he gently wipes a stray tear from your cheek. 

slowly, with his hand still cupping your face, you shake your head. “and would you forgive me for it?” it takes you a long moment of holding back more cries to answer, silently and slowly again. up and down, just once, you nod your head.

“there’s your answer. you’re allowed to not blame yourself and you’re allowed to forgive yourself. you are allowed to feel okay because we can’t fix this world, but we are making it better and we certainly deserve our own happiness. there will always be people who die and the people they leave behind. we just have to keep going because we are still saving lives. even more, our lives deserve to be protected as much as anyone else’s. we do that by allowing ourselves happiness, a life outside of all of the pain and gore and monsters of the world we work in. i’m sorry, and the things i say can’t make this all just go away. but i’m here for you and i think that being reminded of these things is a must for all of us. today’s one of those days where you deserve to be reminded.”

you don’t even think you could really cry again, even if you wanted to, but you certainly feel like it. only this time, it’s out of relief. your guilty conscience still tries to fight with his words, but the part of you that knows he’s right is holding onto his comfort with all it’s got and it’s making you want to burst into tears again. being reminded of your right to let it go is something you’ve needed, not just for this case, but for months. you didn’t even realize, but you’ve holding onto little things here and there and letting it build up until it all blew up in your face last friday night. so to let that all out and feel comforted is a relief far stronger than anything you’ve felt before.

“thank you.” your voice is back at a whisper, but you hope he can hear how much you mean it. you think he does when he smiles.

“of course. you’ll always have me, and you have everyone else on the team too, you know that.”

you nod and do your best to smile back. “thank you,” you repeat. you don’t even know what else to say. “and um, i’m always here for you too, luke. you know, just when i’m not a complete hot mess.” the lighter tone in your voice as you attempt a joke is luke’s relief, the relief that you’re on the way to feeling better.

“thanks,” he chuckles lightly. the sound makes you glad.

“hey luke?”

“yeah?” he replied in earnest, eager to give.

“can we order some thai food and watch movies until we fall asleep on the couch?”

that really makes him happy, and he grins like he always does to show it. “you know it.” so, he buys you food and tells you to pick all the movies. he lets you lean on him when you get tired, then carries you to bed and tucks you in when you fall asleep halfway through the first film. he stalls in your room by fixing the hair the falls onto your face and pressing a light kiss to your forehead. then he leaves the door cracked, just in case, and takes a while to fall asleep on your couch after putting the leftovers in the fridge. he cries a little, because he hates that it’s so hard for you, and it’s hard for him too. 

at the end of the day though, he’s just glad you’ll be okay.

[loveandmurders]

Oh my God I love your writing. Can you do like a young Sinclair daughter!reader story where a group tourist have a kid about her age and she begs the brothers not to kill them so she can have a friend. (Kind of like a little kid ask for a puppy or something.)

Hello there, thank you so much for your kind words and request!

I hope you'll enjoy this little one shot <3

LET ME KEEP HIM

Warnings: no proof reading, mentions of killing adults and children, violence, loneliness, child abuse (not you)

“Why am I the only kid in Ambrose?” you asked your parents at breakfast this very morning. Lester wasn’t there yet, so the twins had to deal with this on their own. They exchanged a look. They had told you your story, and you knew they were killing people as a living. It was a good enough reason for them.

“Ya know why, love” Bo finally said and you put your fork and knife back on the table, to stare at him.

“But ya could have adopted someone else.” you argued back

“One daughter’s more than enough” Bo tried to gently tease you as Vincent was silently thinking about your words.

“Alright…” you pouted as you resumed eating. Vincent gently stroked your hair to comfort you.

“You’re feeling lonely here?” he signed to you.

You were aware your parents were trying the best for you because they loved you more than anything. You didn’t want to upset them, but the truth was you wanted to socialise with other children of your age. Imaginary friends weren’t enough for you anymore, and your heart was bleeding whenever you were watching TV. You wanted a best friend or even a sibling you could bond with, like everybody else. You wanted someone in your life who wasn’t your parents, no matter how much you loved them.

“A little bit” you finally admitted and both the twins hummed in thought and sadness.

They had no solution to offer you for the moment but they were going to think about it with Lester. They understood why you felt that way. At the same time they weren’t too sure what to do, but they always figured out something when it was about you. They needed their daughter to be happy and to be certain they were good fathers to you.

After breakfast, you started to study the school manuals they got you. The twins were checking on you from time to time, and when you needed something or an explanation, you were asking Vincent for help. When Lester arrived in Ambrose, Bo told him about what you said, and it broke the man’s heart. Lester couldn’t believe they had been so stupid to not realise that you would necessarily need to be around kids of your age to grow up well. He had noticed the way you were looking at the few children who were in the House of Wax. He felt sadness coming from you and he had thought it was because you were feeling empathy toward them or because you were afraid. He had reassured you that you were loved and that nothing could happen to you. You had nodded but you hadn’t seemed to feel a lot better. He understood why now. However, like his brothers, he had no idea what to do to make things alright for you.

When Lester led tourists in Ambrose that day, he saw they had a little boy of your age. Now he had a daughter, Lester always noticed kids around. It had been a while he hadn’t brought any of them to Ambrose. But he didn’t really think about him as a solution. He wasn’t planning on adopting anyone else for you. He thought more about getting you to a school near Ambrose or something like that. He didn’t want your first friend to be made in a very violent and brutal context.

The twins were always a little bit more reluctant to kill children now they had you. Already before, but now it was worse. They always made it quick and painless. They had no other choice but to kill them, but they really took no pleasure in this. Even less when it was a little girl of your age. They rarely turned them into wax statutes anymore either, because they didn’t want to upset you. And because it was making them question their business.

When Bo saw the little boy, he almost groaned. He didn’t want to kill a child, especially after the conversation he had with you this morning. He hid those thoughts with great talent, like always, but his smile flattered when he saw the bruises and little wounds, including cigarette burns littering the boy’s body. Bo knew what it was to be abused by his parents so he instantly picked on the signs. Fuck, he really didn’t want to kill that child. He was even thinking about letting the parents go. But at the same time, he tried to convince himself that by killing everyone, it would be a way to punish the parents and to bring peace to the poor boy. He seemed so scared, so desperate and so angry at the same time. Bo could see himself in the little boy.

Lester warned Vincent about the presence of a child. That way the masked twin would know it needed to be an even quicker and cleaner kill than usual. Both you and Vincent heard the boy crying when his mother slapped him after he asked for her attention when she was chatting with Bo and her husband. Vincent didn’t have time to react; you were already leaving the house. You wanted to see that child.

You ran and then walked to the garage. You hid behind the building and you saw the little boy who was trying so hard to keep his sobs silent to not annoy the adults surrounding him. He thought he should have known better than grabbing his mother’s hand. He hated himself for wanting her when she clearly despised him. Both his parents made him do such awful things to please adults he didn’t know. Bo was trying to shush him as his parents were apologising for the terrible attitude of their child. They explained to Bo that he was like that since the beginning of their journey to go see his uncle. The little boy’s tears fell even quicker at the mention of his “uncle” . The abuse was always even worse at this place. 

Bo felt your eyes on him and he turned towards you. He wanted to ask you to leave, but he saw the curiosity and the interest in your eyes, but also the concern you felt for the child. He saw you wanted to come closer. It was the first time you were so close to a child of your age. He knew it was a bad idea, especially because the kid was going to die, but he couldn’t deny you that. He opened his hand out for you and you came closer. You hugged him from the side as he kept you close and introduced you to the tourists. The boy stopped crying the instant you appeared. You both started to look at each other.

And something happened.

You both instantly liked and wanted each other company. You just knew it. There was a bond between the two of you. The boy was usually clingy to his mother who hated that, but he completely forgot about her as he tried to remember every feature of your face. You were usually very talkative, even with the tourists, but you were completely silent as you were doing the same with the boy. Bo noticed it and he wasn’t too sure what was going on. He kissed the top of your head. 

“How ‘bout ya go back home, love?” he asked you. He didn’t like you to be so close to abusive people. You never argued back when there were tourists, so you nodded.

“Do ya wanna come with me?” you asked the boy who instantly smiled at you, and you both looked back at your parents for them to agree. The boy’s parents were happy to have a break from him so they nodded. Bo was a little more reluctant, but he couldn't say no to your pleading eyes so he finally agreed as well. He sent a quick text to Vincent to let him know though. He hoped it would mean that Vincent would be the one to kill the child.

When you came back home, you brought the boy into the bathroom and you started to take care of him. You had seen the bruises too, and you had wanted to make him feel better. It was natural to you because you always took care of the people you loved. He was shyly letting you do it. He wasn’t used to being treated so kindly and he quickly knew he would do anything to stay in Ambrose and to also take care of you. You were like an angel to him. You started to talk together, and it was like you had been best friends forever. You were giggling as he was showing off how strong he was to impress you, despite the state of his body. 

The nice moment was stopped when you heard his mother scream in fear and call his name. You quickly grabbed his hand and asked him to stay with you. He had shared feelings about it but he finally followed you in your room. You had decided you were going to keep him and you were going to convince your parents to let him live here. You didn’t care if they never truly “adopted” him like they did with you, you just wanted the boy to stay by your side or you would lose your sanity. He seemed worried but he didn’t ask questions. His parents taught him to never ask questions. In a way, he trusted you with his life. And it wasn’t like his parents ever were kind like you were to him.

After a little while, the town was silent again and Vincent knocked at your door before opening it. He had a bloody knife in his hand. Bo killed the father, Vincent killed the mother. And he was now here for the child. The boy’s eyes widened at the sight and you were quick to stand up and to place yourself in front of him to protect him. You asked him to stay where he was and he obeyed even if he wanted to be the one to protect you. His parents never valued his life and he wasn’t sure he was valuing it himself. But he felt that the man in front of you didn’t want to hurt you. Vincent gestured for you to move to the side but you shook your head.

“Don’t kill him! He’s my friend! I want him to stay here with us, please, dad” you begged and the little boy was completely confused. He grabbed your hand, silently asking you what was going on. You didn’t answer and turned back toward Vincent who wasn’t too sure what to do anymore either. Your parents never killed in front of you and they were planning on keeping things that way for quite a while. Vincent didn’t want to do anything that would make you fear him either. He loved you way too much for that.

Bo was worried about you so he came back home and called for you and his twin. You answered and when Bo entered the room, he quickly understood what was going on. 

“Y/N, don’t make things harder than it has to be” he started, hoping he would be able to convince you to keep things the way they used to be

“I just want a friend! I won’t feel lonely anymore if he stays. I’ll take care of him, ya won’t have to worry ‘bout him” you promised and you looked back at the boy before your attention was on your fathers once again.

“He could run away…” Bo started

“No he won’t!” you exclaimed “Right?” you asked him. The boy was lost but if he could live with you, he was going to grab the chance.

“I’ll be good.” he promised like he always did to his parents and it almost made Bo want to vomit. He knew those words way too well too.

“See?” you insisted

“I can be useful too” the boy offered “I’ll protect your daughter when you are… working” he added. He was coming from a pretty dark family, so he knew that business could imply doing bad things. He was pretty certain his parents were dead or at least in a very bad situation. At the same time he wasn’t even sure they could be considered as his parents; they never loved him.

He definitely touched a sensitive cord with his last words and the twins exchanged a look.

“If anythin’ happens to her while she’s under your watch, we’ll kill ya” Bo warned him and your eyes widened in surprise and horror.

“Father!” you exclaimed

“Good to me” the boy nodded and both the twins left your room, leaving you with your new best friend and protector.

[gunilslaugh]

Best Of The Worst Pt.2

Han Hyeongjun Summary: You spilled the queen's secret. Now what will Hyeongjun do with that information? (non-idol au) WC:~1k Warning:none

part 1 part 3 epilogue!

photo not mine credits to owner.

“Good enough?” You checked. Hyeongjun runs his tongue across the inside of his cheek.

“How did you get this information?” he asked. 

“Very unfortunate timing,” you answered. Hyeongjun looks at the dejected look on your face and chuckles. 

“Keep talking,” he tells you.

“I was doing my daily chores. I was heading out to take in the laundry, but instead I walked right into the blacksmith talking to the queen about how he has the right to see his son,” you explained. 

“You call that unfortunate timing? Knowing that secret gives you so much power,” he says. 

“No, it got me locked in a wooden crate and thrown off a waterfall. The queen ordered to have me killed!” you ranted angrily. 

“Oh honey, you should have threatened her with the secret before she could even think about disposing you,” he mocked you. 

“Sorry I’m not an evil person like you, so I don’t know much about doing stuff like that,” you sassed him back. 

“Should I teach you then?” he offered. Your brows knitted together in confusion. 

“Teach me?” you questioned. 

“Yes, teach you. You must want some type of revenge right? She did try to kill you,” he notes. 

“As upset as I am about that. I really just want to live my life peacefully. I’m free from the castle, so I should take the chance to start a new life,” you state.

“You’re so boring!” Hyeongjun leaned back dramatically. “The queen tried to take your life! Scare her a bit!” He said manically. You could literally see the crazy in his eyes. 

“You can scare her if you want. I should get going now,” you say. 

“Go where exactly? You lived in the castle as a maid didn’t you? You have nowhere to go.”

“Why do you care? I’ll figure it out,” you tell him. You started to walk in your way. 

“Let’s go see the blacksmith.” Hyeongjun swung his arm around your shoulder . To which you smack his hand. 

“Let go of me.” You walk out of his grasp. “Why would I go with you anyway?” You continued to walk. Once more Hyeongjun came up to you, but this time he linked his arm with yours instead of putting it around your shoulders. 

“You don’t have anywhere else to go anyway. Come with me.” He pulled you along by your linked arm. 

“We had a deal,” you reminded, pausing your footsteps. 

“Yes we did and you said if I didn’t think the secret was good enough I could kill you or whatever I fancy,” he pointed. 

“So? You were clearly interested in it. That means I can go on my way.” You tried to pull your arm from his, but he held it in place. 

“I never said it was good enough.” He tauntingly turned his head to the side. “But I don’t feel like killing you, which leaves whatever I fancy,” he smirked. 

“And you fancy me seeing the blacksmith with you?” you say. 

“Quick catch.” He winked at you. “Now come on.” He pulled you along again. 

The journey to the blacksmith was weird to say the least. It was mostly quiet, with little words exchanged between the two of you. However it was still very unnerving. You felt as if at any second Hyeongjun could turn around and kill you. Not to mention the fact that his arm never left yours. The whole way your arms were linked at the elbows. Everytime you tried to slip yours out of the hold, Hyeongjun would hold your arm tighter. 

When you arrived at the village Hyeongjun finally let your arm be free of his grasp. Only to then be covered in his long coat. 

“What are you doing?” you questioned. 

“You’re dressed like a maid. You stick out too much,” he justified. You would never admit it, but he did have a point. You being spotted when you're supposed to be dead certainly wouldn’t be a good thing. 

“Let’s just hurry and find the blacksmith,” you grumbled, pulling Hyeongjun’s jacket closed to hide your apparel. You can’t help but smell the waft of Hyeongjun’s scent from his jacket. It was woody with a bit of ash and something you're not quite sure of.

Soon enough you arrived at the blacksmith’s shop. Once you entered the shop Hyeongjun pulled the big double doors closed behind the two of you with a loud bang. 

“Hey, what do you think you’re doing!” The blacksmith yelled.

“Do you want to see your son or not?” Hyeongjun got straight to the point. The backsmith looked at Hyeongjun perplexedly before his eyes fell onto you. 

“You’re the maid from this morning right?” he asked you. 

“Yes.” You let go of the fabric of Hyeongjun’s jacket, revealing your maid outfit. 

“What are you doing here?” he questioned. 

“The queen tried to kill them for knowing about the prince’s real bloodline, so I’m gonna show them how to get revenge,” Hyeongjun answered. 

“I never agreed to-”

“Whatever I fancy.” Hyeongjun cut you off. 

“Wait. You can’t keep-” 

“I’ll just kill you then,” he cut you off again. 

“But our deal is over-”

“It’s over when I say it’s over. You should have made the conditions on ‘whatever you fancy’ more clear.” Hyeongjun smirks at you. You sigh. For a second you momentarily forgot that Hyeongjun wasn’t a good guy either. You should have expected that he would find a way to screw you too. Although you guess it’s better than someone actively trying to kill you, but it still sucked. 

“Oh come on honey, don’t glare at me like that,” he said with a pout.

“Hate to step in on your little moment, but you asked me if I wanted to see my son,” the blacksmith interrupted. 

“Ah yes that. Well the whole village will know that he’s not the king’s blood soon, so he’ll probably want to know who his real dad is,” Hyeongjun discloses. 

“Hyeongjun no. The queen will really have me dead if word gets out,” you refused.

“She already thinks you’re dead. All you have to do is watch her go insane over the news and enjoy it.” You can see the crazy light up in his eyes.

part 1 part 3 epilogue!

Taglist: @purplelady85 @gingerjunhan @chewednails @ezlynkisses @mon2sunjinsuver @mxlly143

[sammyluvr]

two mugs, half empty — luke alvez

cw : bau!gn!reader, can be read as platonic or romantic, hurt/comfort, feelings of guilt and shame, nightmare mentions, talk of canon typical violence, crying, 2.8K words. requested !

summary : luke comes to check on you after you call in sick from work, suspicious that there's something more going on.

“you look like hell.”

“wow, thank you, luke. way to compliment somebody,” you deadpan, even though he said it with a voice full of empathy. he gives you a good-natured roll of his eyes before his face returns to that concerned look you opened your apartment door to.

“but seriously, did you sleep at all over the weekend?” you want to hate how much he cares about you, but the sincerity of his voice has you nearly ready to cave. 

“come in,” you offer, completely ignoring his question because the answer is “no, not really.” he raises his eyebrows at your lack of response, but steps in after you anyways. he can guess the answer well enough from the exhaustion evident in your whole figure.

you sit down with him in the kitchen, grabbing him a glass of water before he can say no to it. his gaze on you is heavy, but you ignore it in favor of examining the wood of the table in front of you. since you won’t say anything, he goes first.

“i came to check on you,” he states the obvious, “i’m– we’re kinda worried about you, you know? like, you haven’t responded to any of my texts all day and you never call in sick, even when you probably should, so i figured you’d probably be bedridden for you to make the choice to stay home.” he pauses for a long moment, as if inviting for you to explain why you’re, in fact, not bedridden, and not really physically sick at all. you don’t say a word. “so,” he prompts, “what’s up? why’d you turn down drinks with the rest of the team on saturday? kinda feels like you’re avoiding us.”

“i am avoiding you guys,” your voice comes out far quieter than you intended. you had wanted to sound nonchalant, and all you got was exhaustion. you sigh before continuing, “because you’re profilers and i don’t want to talk about it.” he sighs too.

“if it’s so bad that you went to the lengths to call off sick from work to avoid talking about it, it seems to me like it’s something you should talk about.”

you turn your head even further from him because you know he’s right. you’ve been holed up in your apartment, agonizing over what happened three nights ago, desperate to scream and cry about it to someone else. god knows you’ve done enough of that with yourself, but you’re reverting to old habits and it feels like you’re back to only knowing how to avoid, avoid, and keep avoiding.

“listen, i don’t want to push you, but i need you to know that i’m here for you.” his hand hovers over yours for a moment, silently asking permission before gently wrapping his fingers around yours. you clench your jaw and bite the inside of your cheek to keep tears from forming in your eyes. honestly, you didn’t think you could produce anymore, but here you are, trying not to cry in front of your coworker turned close friend whom you’ve probably upset by ignoring him.

luke gains a little bit of hope when you squeeze his hand. he squeezes back, hoping you feel the love and care that he puts into it. you do, and it doesn’t help your case with the whole crying ordeal.

“thanks,” you whisper. the thickness in your voice completely gives you away. tilting your head up to try to stop the flow of tears is plain old silly at this point, and he watches with a weight heavy on his heart as they overflow and fall down your cheeks. the tears catch in the light of the only lamp that’s turned on in the room. “fuck. goddammit,” you curse through the tears, well aware they won’t stop anytime soon. “luke,” you cry.

“i’m here,” he replies so earnestly without missing a beat that you begin to cry harder. that’s the last straw for him. quickly, he stands and wraps you up in his arms without a second thought. with you sitting, your face barely reaches his chest, and your arms reach around his lower torso. he’s got one hand rubbing up and down your back, the other cradling the back of your head into him. the way you hold onto him is desperate and breaks his heart, but he’s glad to give you something that you so clearly need. comfort.

“i–,” you try to explain, but you can’t get anywhere before choking on your own sobs.

“shhh, it’s okay. just let it out. i’m not going anywhere.” and he sticks to that promise, standing strong and unwavering, even after your tears run out and you can’t find it in yourself to pull away from him just yet. he doesn’t force a thing, just strokes the back of your head gently as a silent reminder that he’s there.

when you finally pull away, it’s only by a few inches, and he keeps his hands right where they are. he looks down at your face as you stare at the maroon fabric of his shirt and the tear stain you left behind. slowly, as if to not startle you, he bends down to be closer to your level. at first, you avoid meeting his eyes, but when the hand on your shoulder shifts up to your cheek and he gently wipes at the leftover tears, you let your gaze meet his. he gives you a smile, small and comforting, before speaking softly.

“i’m gonna make you some tea, alright?”

when you nod, his hands slide away from you, hesitant to let you go. your gaze follows his form as he turns and walks to the counter behind you, first grabbing your favorite mug from the cabinet and taking the liberty to grab one for himself too. then he’s at the pantry for the tea bags and he can feel your eyes on him. once the tea bags are on the counter, he’s by your side again. he gives you another soft smile as he grips the sides of your chair and turns it and you to face the counter. somehow luke just knows that him staying in your line of sight is a comfort to you, proof that he’s right there. he doesn’t want you to have to strain your neck in order to feel safe.

his silence as he fills and turns on the kettle, then sits back down beside you to wait for it to boil is a comfort too. it makes a difference that he’s not making you explain anything.

with him, the passage of time isn’t so horrible, and it’s easy to wait for the tea to be ready. when he sets the mug down in front of you, he tells you to be careful since it’s hot, even though you already know it. that’s when you make the decision that you will tell him what’s kept you holed up in your apartment for three days straight, what made you cry into his arms and skip work today.

it takes you four minutes of failed attempts to open your mouth and force a sound out of your throat before you finally get any words out. four minutes of sipping tea and thinking about how to start or how grateful you are that he’s here.

first comes a big, deep breath and another long moment of quiet. and then you realize you can’t just get into you, so you do your best and start by skirting around the actual problem.

“i know this job–” you have to clear your throat, “i know this job is really hard.” that sentence is kind of stupid purely because of how obvious it is, but you’ve at least started to tell him what this is all about. “and we’ve all learned ways to cope with that. i just– the way that, uh,” you pause to try and collect yourself a bit, but it does nothing to keep your voice from getting quiet, “the way that this last case ended? it, um, it…” suddenly you’re unsure what to even say. luke places his hand over your own, easing its shaking. you take another deep breath.”i can’t– i can’t get it out of my head. i can’t get her dead body out of my head and i can’t shake the feeling that it’s my fault.” 

he’s about to say something, assure you that it absolutely was not your fault, but then everything comes tumbling out.

“i know, logically, technically, that it’s not. i know that, i’ve rationalized this whole thing in my head, even out loud, over and over and over again for the past three days. i know, we didn’t profile him to be so paranoid. i played into his narcissism like i was supposed to, like anyone of us would have, but fuck! it was still my words that set him off, the shit i said got a bullet through her brain.” he squeezes your hand in support. “and when i wake up from the nightmares, i can still hear her whimpers as he held her at gunpoint, even worse, arguably, is her mom begging me to bring her home alive that same morning. you know what i told her? that we were doing everything we could to find her and bring her back, i promised.” the tears start up again. “i told her not to give up hope because the people i work with are incredibly good at their jobs. then i see her sobbing in the corner of the police station after rossi told her that her daughter was fucking dead. and you know what i fucking did? i put my head down and walked in the opposite direction with the excuse that reid could use some help taking down the evidence board.” 

your voice gets even shakier and the furrow in his worried brow deepens as you continue talking. “and i’m so ashamed, i’m so fucking ashamed, luke. i got her daughter killed and i couldn’t even tell her that–” a sob cuts you off, “that i’m sorry,” you cry. “i couldn’t face her. i couldn’t bear to see her crying about it or try and comfort her about it because i was too goddamn guilty to even look her in the eye. and now i see her and her dead daughter everytime i close my eyes.”

the silence after that is colossally heavy. to hear his softest voice calling your name as you stare into your half empty mug is enough to send more tears rushing down your cheeks. he sounds so heartbroken for you, like even he’s choked up by hearing your longwinded confession.

the way he moves is both careful and purposeful as he stands and urges you back into his embrace. this time your crying is quiet, just tears without sobs because you don’t have that left in you. it’s more short lived because it seems like your body’s finally run out of tears to give too. with one side of your face pressed against his shirt and his hands holding you there, it does feel a bit easier to breathe.

when he starts to talk, his voice is as soft as it has been all night. “i don’t want to tell you to just not feel ashamed or guilty. i wish you wouldn’t have to feel that way, really. but i want you to know that i understand. i don’t want to invalidate those things because they are real and they hurt and i understand why you’re feeling them. but it is not your fault. not for one second is it your fault. i’m sure you’ve reminded yourself this already, but we can never forget that it is only ever the fault of the people who pull the trigger on innocent lives.” 

you nod because he’s right, you’ve told yourself that many times. but you realize it makes a difference to hear these things out of his mouth, not just from your mind that was only desperate to ease your guilt. you suppose that’s what he wants too, but it’s somehow better.

he pulls away from you, and positions the chairs so that you’re sitting knee to knee as he holds both of your hands in his. he looks you in the eye as he speaks, every ounce of sincerity visible in his face and easy to hear in his voice.

“and we just can’t be perfect, we can’t be expected to be everything for everyone every time. dealing with family members who have lost their loved ones is one of, if not the, hardest thing that we have to do for this job. rossi was there for her this time, and it’s okay if it was too hard for you. what you did is completely understandable and completely okay. throughout this whole case, you followed procedure and you followed the profile. we all did. so if any of us stood where you did, with the mother and with the unsub, the same exact same thing could have happened. would you blame me for it if i were in your place?” he gently wipes a stray tear from your cheek. 

slowly, with his hand still cupping your face, you shake your head. “and would you forgive me for it?” it takes you a long moment of holding back more cries to answer, silently and slowly again. up and down, just once, you nod your head.

“there’s your answer. you’re allowed to not blame yourself and you’re allowed to forgive yourself. you are allowed to feel okay because we can’t fix this world, but we are making it better and we certainly deserve our own happiness. there will always be people who die and the people they leave behind. we just have to keep going because we are still saving lives. even more, our lives deserve to be protected as much as anyone else’s. we do that by allowing ourselves happiness, a life outside of all of the pain and gore and monsters of the world we work in. i’m sorry, and the things i say can’t make this all just go away. but i’m here for you and i think that being reminded of these things is a must for all of us. today’s one of those days where you deserve to be reminded.”

you don’t even think you could really cry again, even if you wanted to, but you certainly feel like it. only this time, it’s out of relief. your guilty conscience still tries to fight with his words, but the part of you that knows he’s right is holding onto his comfort with all it’s got and it’s making you want to burst into tears again. being reminded of your right to let it go is something you’ve needed, not just for this case, but for months. you didn’t even realize, but you’ve holding onto little things here and there and letting it build up until it all blew up in your face last friday night. so to let that all out and feel comforted is a relief far stronger than anything you’ve felt before.

“thank you.” your voice is back at a whisper, but you hope he can hear how much you mean it. you think he does when he smiles.

“of course. you’ll always have me, and you have everyone else on the team too, you know that.”

you nod and do your best to smile back. “thank you,” you repeat. you don’t even know what else to say. “and um, i’m always here for you too, luke. you know, just when i’m not a complete hot mess.” the lighter tone in your voice as you attempt a joke is luke’s relief, the relief that you’re on the way to feeling better.

“thanks,” he chuckles lightly. the sound makes you glad.

“hey luke?”

“yeah?” he replied in earnest, eager to give.

“can we order some thai food and watch movies until we fall asleep on the couch?”

that really makes him happy, and he grins like he always does to show it. “you know it.” so, he buys you food and tells you to pick all the movies. he lets you lean on him when you get tired, then carries you to bed and tucks you in when you fall asleep halfway through the first film. he stalls in your room by fixing the hair the falls onto your face and pressing a light kiss to your forehead. then he leaves the door cracked, just in case, and takes a while to fall asleep on your couch after putting the leftovers in the fridge. he cries a little, because he hates that it’s so hard for you, and it’s hard for him too. 

at the end of the day though, he’s just glad you’ll be okay.

[bwabys-scenarios]

Reunited

Part 17

Illumi x Reader x ??????

Part 16

Part 18

warning: Hisoka is actually smart and knows about relationships(SCARY)(/j) Illumi is horny for reader

taglist: @tsukilover11 @mercyboluthecrazychicken @merinfawleygoestohogwarts

if you want to be tagged in the next update, comment a red heart❤️ make sure you’re able to be searched/tagged or I won’t be able to mention you!!

“Good morning, (Name).”

(Name) nearly jumped out of her skin when she woke up to the sound of someone right next to her in bed, the feeling of thin fingers in her hair.

The man next to her chuckled, using his hand to grab her chin and turn her face towards him.

“Miss me?” It was Illumi(again), smiling at her. He thought that this was the peak of romance, but…

Illumi paused when her eyes met his. Instead of her usual bright and cheery eyes, they were red and puffy and he could see tear stains running down her plump cheeks.

“… were you crying last night?”

She sniffled, refusing to look him in the eye.

“Why do you care? We’re not even friends.”

That hit him in straight in the heart. Had his words from last night affected her that much? He frowned at her, letting her go. She turned away from him and pulled the blanket over her head, scooting away as far as she could.

“I don’t want to talk to you right now. You can’t say things like that to me then act like everything’s okay.”

Illumi stood up, letting the comforter fall off his shirtless form and stepped off of her bed. He’d crawled in with her at around 3 am when he’d arrived home, nearly forgetting about his little blunder hours before.

The manor was quiet. It was still early, only 6 am, so this was to be expected. Although he hadn’t gotten much sleep that night, Illumi couldn’t allow himself to catch up on his rest.

He padded down the stares, stopping when he spotted Kalluto pacing at the staircase.

“Kalluto, what are you doing here so early?”

Illumi’s younger brother paused, giving him a greeting before answering.

“I heard (Name) crying last night, so it’s been hard to sleep. I’m not sure what got her in such a bad mood, but whatever happened was enough for her to fall asleep in tears.”

The boy seemed upset, maybe even angry. Illumi had never seen his brother care this much about another persons well being, and a small part of him was beginning to feel guilty.

She’d been kind enough to be friendly with him despite his strange behavior and bad attitude, yet he’d scoffed at her offer of friendship, like he didn’t crave some kind of a relationship with her.

The sun was taking its time rising, and so was (Name). It was nearly 8 am and she had yet to leave her room, which Kalluto informed Illumi of it being unusual.

He knew she was awake, he could sense her walking around and practicing Ren.

“She knows Ren already?” Illumi asked, a bit surprised. Kalluto gave him a nod, not paying much attention to the question. The youngest Zoldyck grew more and more concerned by the minute.

When it reaches 9 am and (Name) still hadn’t left her room, Illumi decided to go and check on her.

He had the common decency to knock, calling out to her.

“(Name). It’s time for breakfast.”

No response.

Illumi waited another hour before he tried again.

“(Name), you can’t stay in your room all day, you know.”

Again, no response. Frustration was beginning to build in Illumi’s stomach. Surely what he had said wasn’t bad enough to get the silent treatment. He began to pace outside her door, hands on his hips.

Illumi left once again, this time telling Kalluto to try.

He watched his younger brother approach the door and knock from the shadows. Kalluto carried a tray of food with him.

“(Name), it’s Kalluto. I brought you some breakfast.”

The door creaked open, (Name) glancing around the hallway before opening it enough for Kalluto to slip in. Illumi watched this with an ever deepening frown.

Kalluto did not stay for long, but when he left his expression was that of intense worry. After (Name) shut the door, he approached his brother timidly.

“She says she’s not coming out, that she isn’t feeling well. I’ll have a physician come and check on her once she’s finished her breakfast.”

Illumi nodded, folding his arms over his chest. He wondered why she had lied about her reason for staying holed up in her room to Kalluto. Did she not want to make him look bad?

Guilty, guilty, guilty. Illumi’s mind raced with bad thoughts, imagining her never wanting to speak with him again. He’d never though women were such fragile creatures!

The eldest son didn’t know much about relationships, his only friend had been (Name) ten years ago, and he’d NEVER had a girlfriend. The assassin would need to ask for advice, but from who?

—————

Illumi scrolled through his contacts, most of them being clients or his own family. He only had two contacts besides that, (Name), and…

He clicked on the contact, hitting the call button with a sigh.

“Hello?~”

“Hello, Hisoka.”

The magician chuckled at Illumi’s monotone voice, causing him to frown.

“Listen, I need to ask you something.”

“If you’re calling me this early in the morning, it must be important. Ask away.”

Hisoka may be annoying and an weirdo, but Illumi knew the man had had various lovers. Despite his strange personality, both men and women seemed to flock to his side, so he had to at least know something about Illumi’s little… problem.

“… you know (Name), right?”

“Why yes, I know her quite well. Intimately, you might even say.”

Illumi decided to ignore that last remark.

“Well, last night I seemed to have… upset her.”

“Oh? How did you accomplish that? Isn’t she just a way of sunshine that seems impervious to insults? You must’ve really messed up.” Hisoka teased.

Illumi bit the inside of his cheek, looking down at his feet.

“She told me if I was a mindless killer, she wouldn’t want to have me as her friend, and I replied ‘who said I even wanted to be your friend?’. I climbed into bed with her when I got home, and when I woke her up I discovered she’d been crying last night. Now she won’t speak to me.”

“Climbing into bed with her? Naughty Illumi.”

“Stick to the point Hisoka, or I’ll hang up.”

Hisoka laughed at Illumi’s embarrassed tone, causing the latter to angrily tap his fingers against his arm.

“Illumi, darling, women are sensitive. When you say things like that, she’ll assume you don’t want to be around her, or dislike her. That would be confusing to her, considering you crawl into bed and caress her randomly. She probably doesn’t understand what you want from her, and why you’re being unkind all of the sudden.”

That actually made sense to him. He’d been handsy with her since the exam had ended, constantly caressing her and holding onto her.

Of course she’d be confused about his intentions when he said he didn’t even consider her a friend. What was a girl to think having a man all over her, then say he wasn’t interested in her friendship or romance?

“She may think you are trying to pursue a more… sexual relationship. After all, you have been in her bed when she wakes up.”

It’s not like he didn’t want a sexual relationship, god just thinking being with her in that way was enough to make his head spin.

“… but I’m not after just that.”

“I know, dear. Maybe try getting her a gift and apologizing? What’s something she likes?”

He thought back to their childhood, going through each memory he had of her until present time. Throughout these memories, one thing remained present through all of them.

“I know the perfect thing.”

——————

(Name) pulled the blanket off of her form as the doctor walked in, carrying a bag of equipment. As he examined her, she couldn’t take her mind off of Illumi.

She couldn’t understand him. One moment he’s caressing her and being so sweet, the next he’s cruel and then back again. What did he want from her? If he didn’t want her friendship, what else could she possibly offer? Why was he being so kind to her, if he didn’t want to be friends?

“Hmm, it seems your body is healthy considering your injuries, but you are exhausted. I’ll inform Master Kalluto that you’re training is cancelled for today. Get some rest, your meals will be delivered to you.”

She nodded, pulling the cover back to her chin. (Name) thought back to her childhood, remembering when boys would be nice to her. Their intent was never friendly, either looking to take something from her or humiliate her. ‘Illumi has everything though, there’s nothing he could take from me… except…’

Her face heated up. Of course, why hadn’t she thought of that earlier? If a man doesn’t want your friendship or romance, what other reason does he have to have his hands all over you?

She felt sick. Had she allowed this man to touch all over her just to fulfill his sick desire? Kurapika and Leorio had been right, he was a creep!

Or… he was doing this as some sort of prank. His kindness was a sham, a way to mock her naive mind. That made a lot more sense to her. She’d always been on the insecure side. Why would a man like him want anything to do with her? She was kidding herself if she thought he would want her, even just sexually.

But why did she care if he wanted her? He was an assassin, a person that killed for profit. Why should a man that didn’t care about human life’s opinion matter to her in the slightest?

Still, her heart thumped painfully against her chest when she remembered the way he looked waking up next to her, the way he caressed her so gently…

‘Ah, just go to sleep, (Name) there’s no reason to think about him like that!’

Drowsiness began to take over the girls mind, her being teetering between the edge of sleep and consciousness.

She fell over the border of sleep, sighing softly into her pillow.

—————

Kalluto visited (Name) a few times, bringing her lunch and sitting on the edge of her bed to chat. She seemed even more depressed than before, covering herself in her blanket completely.

When Illumi walked in, (Name) didn’t even bother to look up. Kalluto told him that she’d gotten worse, and wouldn’t even peek her head out of her fluffy cocoon.

“(Name). Will you please come out of your… cocoon?”

“No.”

The man lifted an eyebrow. He thought about just yanking the blanket off, but remembered Hisoka’s words.

‘Women are sensitive.’

He strolled over to her side of the bed, staring down at the lump that was (Name), and sat next to her.

“… I’m…”

He bit his lip. Illumi hadn’t said a genuine apology in years.

“I am sorry.”

An eye slowly peeked out of the blanket, blinking at him. “Sorry for what, Illumi?”

He frowned, a groan leaving his lips. “I’m sorry I said what I said. It wasn’t how I actually feel.”

The cover slowly slid from her form, revealing (Name) in a white top and shorts. He tried not to stare at all her exposed skin on display for him, turning his head to look out the window.

“How do you actually feel?”

She was sitting up now, her leg nearly touching his. She peered at him from her seat, her eyes curious.

“I…”

He was glad he was facing away from her, because his cheeks were starting to turn a light shade of pink.

“I wouldn’t mind being your friend.”

When he was finally able to meet her eyes, his breath caught in his throat.

She was looking at him with a sweet smile, her eyes bright again. The way she looked at him with such love and kindness made him feel… soft. Like he was easily pliable, ready for her to mold him into whatever she wanted.

“I’m happy. Let’s be friends then!”

She leaned against his shoulder, reaching a hand behind his back to wrap around him in a half-hug. He did the same, pulling her by the waist closer to him.

Right now the only thing he wanted was for her to be close to him. He couldn’t think of anything else he wanted more than that.

“Illumi, I’m feeling a bit better. Will you walk with me to dinner?”

————

Illumi waited outside the door for (Name) to change out of her pajamas.

She’d decided to go with something comfortable, throwing on a soft pink seater and white pleated skirt. She pulled on a pair of white and pink striped thigh highs and slipped on the pair of black Mary Janes from before.

Illumi couldn’t help but swoon a bit when she left the room. (Name) looked good in anything she wore in his eyes, but the cute oversized sweater and skirt combo was quickly becoming one of his favorite looks for her.

He offered a hand to her, which she took gingerly. The two made their way to the dining hall, Kalluto joining them halfway through.

Before they reached the dining hall, illumi stopped.

“Kalluto, go ahead. I need to speak with (Name) for a moment.”

“But I-“

Illumi shot him a look, causing the youngest Zoldyck to scurry away. (Name) raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms over her chest.

“What is it you need to say to me, Illumi?”

The tall man was quiet, his hands reaching into his pocket. He seemed to hold onto something there, hesitating on pulling it out.

“What are you hiding, Illumi?”

She waited for him to answer, rocking back and forth on her heels.

“It’s.. it’s a gift.”

He opened his hand, revealing a palm sized (fav Sanrio character) plush.

(Name) stared at the tiny plush, her eyes glued to it. Illumi motioned for her to put her hands out, and she did.

“Here.”

He placed the plush in her hands. She looked up at him and back to the plush, pulling it to her chest and squeezing it tight.

“Thank you, you’re very sweet.”

She gave him that big smile he loved so much, her cheeks pink/darker. Illumi just nodded and held out his hand.

“Let’s go to the dining hall now.”

—————

The entire Zoldyck family(minus Killua and Alluka) watched with bated breath as the two strolled in. (Name) seemed much more comfortable with Illumi’s touch, holding his hand because she wanted to, not for comfort.

Illumi pulled out her chair for her, pushing her close to the table before taking his own seat. His eyes never seemed to leave her, almost as if he did she would disappear.

This didn’t go unseen by the oldest son’s parents, who watched the pair with growing interest.

“(Name), I’m so glad you were able to join us for dinner! Are you feeling well?” Kikyo asked, not a hint of concern or care in her voice.

“Yes, I am feeling much better.” (Name) replied, placing her plush in her lap. Kikyo watched this with a grin growing on her face.

“Where did you get that cute little doll, (Name)? Did illumi get it for you?”

(Name) only nodded, the blush returning to her face.

Kikyo exchanged a look with Silva, the latter nodding in thought. “Illumi, that’s so sweet of you. I’ve never seen you give a gift to someone before.”

Illumi glanced at (Name) before replying. “… an acquaintance told me that giving gifts to someone is a good way to apologize.”

(Name) leaned against Illumi’s arm, looking up at him with her pretty (e/c) eyes. “Well, that’s not wrong, but I don’t need gifts. It’s appreciated, but just being around you is enough for me.”

Illumi couldn’t help but slip a hand to the small of her back, keeping it there as she laid her head on his shoulder. His hand was cold and a bit clammy, but (Name) didn’t seem to mind.

Kikyo watched the interaction, a happy squeal leaving her throat.

“(Name), you’ve continued practicing Ren, correct? Kalluto informed me you weren’t feeling well today.”

Zeno interrupted the conversation, taking a bite of his food in between sentences. The girl nodded, sitting up. Illumi’s hand slipped away from her, settling in his lap.

“Yes, I wanted to keep practicing Ren while I rested. I made sure to take plenty of breaks, i promise.”

“(Name), how long are you able to maintain Ren?”

This time it was Silva asking the question. (Name) visibly froze, not used to speaking with the head of the Zoldyck family.

“Right now it’s 2 minutes.”

Illumi blinked, staring down at her in awe. “2 minutes, already? That’s a major development, (Name). They say it takes a month to get to 10 minutes, with your progress it may only take two weeks!”

He cupped her cheek, looking her over closer. She didn’t seem much different, even her aura was the same, but her eyes told a different story. They were determined, shining brighter than the morning star.

“I want to finish training as soon as possible. The faster I do, the faster I can accept jobs and support my family.”

He’d forgotten about her goals. Illumi had been so busy with his own feelings and motivations that he had put hers on the back burner. This was no ordinary girl, she was a woman on a mission.

“That’s very honorable of you, (Name). What branch of Hunter do you plan to go into?”

“I don’t have any plans on doing anything specific, just whatever pays the best.”

Illumi stiffened.

“I see. Even if the job is dangerous?”

“Danger has no bearing on my decisions. If it pays well, I’ll do it.”

This seemed to excited the elder Zoldycks, though Illumi was quiet next to her. He hadn’t thought about her doing jobs. Him bringing her to his estate to return a favor had just been an excuse to keep her around. Was he sending her to a death sentence?

“… we’ll, you won’t be taking jobs anytime soon. You’re much too weak.” Illumi stated, setting his fork down. He didn’t have much of an appetite at the moment.

“Oh nonsense, I’d say she should be able to accompany someone on a job within the next week or so! She’s progressing so fast, it would be a shame to not let her experience battle first hand.”

Illumi glared at his mother for her suggestion. Didn’t they understand that she wasn’t ready for that yet? (Name) wasn’t like them, she was just a weak girl, barely able to hold a blade without shaking.

“Oh, that would be nice! Illumi, can I accompany you on your next job?”

“No.”

(Name) paused. She looked up at the dark haired man, wincing at the intensity in his eyes. “My jobs are much too dangerous. You’d be better off training here.”

A huff escaped her lips, her arms crossing over her chest defiantly. “Well I can’t learn if I never get to go on jobs!”

“You just started training four days ago, (Name). I’m not saying you can never go, you just have to be…”

He pushed her hair out of her face with a soft sigh.

“Patient.”

———————

(Name) slowly undressed herself, quickly putting on a pair of pajama pants and a sweater. The moon had risen outside, and she was tired.

Illumi’s parents had requested her to perform Ren for them, and were thoroughly pleased with the results. She however, was now exhausted due to straining herself too much. Kalluto scolded her harshly after dinner, but Illumi shooed him away saying that he should be kinder to women.

Her eyes slid to her nightstand, where the plush sat. Illumi had been kind enough to help her to her room after dinner, and sat it there after leaving. She made him promise not to sneak into her bed that night, as she didn’t feel like being jumpscared in the morning.

Speaking of jumpscares, (Name)’s ringing phone nearly made the girl jump out of her skin. She looked down at the caller ID, smiling when she saw Kurapika’s contact.

“Kurapika, what’s up?” She answered the phone, lying down on her bed.

“Mm, nothing much. We heard through Zebro that you were feeling unwell today, so I decided to call after training and see how you’re doing.”

Kurapika was a sweet boy, always making sure she was okay. (Name) giggled.

“If you want we can FaceTime and you can see for yourself.”

Once she accepted the FaceTime call, she saw the three boys gathered together to fit into the screen, all waiting for her to show up. When she did, their expressions brightened.

“(Name)! How are you? We just got done with our baths!” Gon exclaimed, his hair still wet.

“Oh, me too. I’m doing alright. I happened to make a new friend today!”

Leorio raised an eyebrow. “Who did you befriend this time, (Name)?”

She scratched the back of her head sheepishly. She didn’t know how Gon would react to her message, but she wouldn’t lie.

“Illumi.”

The three shared a look, Kurapika frowning deeply.

“You mean the man who basically kidnapped you, has been randomly touching you, and made you cry last night?”

Oh dear, she’d forgotten she’d told them about that.

“Ah, yeah. He apologized though…”

She twiddled her thumbs, not making eye contact.

“You’re an adult, so I won’t tell you who to associate with, but you should be careful.”

Kurapika crossed his arms, Leorio grabbing the phone from him.

“(Name) that man is bad news! Friends don’t sneak into your bed and caress you! He’s a creep that’s only after one thing!”

“And what is that?”

Leorio glanced at Gon before sighing. “You know what I mean, (Name). You shouldn’t trust men, they’re wolves!”

“You and Kurapika are men, but I trust you!”

“Yeah, well we wouldn’t-“

Kurapika hit him with his sheathed weapon. “Let’s try that again. I wouldn’t do the things Illumi has done. It is strange to sneak into a woman’s bed without telling her.”

A light blush was on Kurapika’s cheeks. Was he embarrassed of this topic? That amused (Name), a small smile on her face.

“I trust you, Kurapika. You’re too much of a sweetheart do do anything like that.”

Kurapika turned away from the camera, hiding his face. “Y-yes. Thank you, (Name).”

Gon watched the scene with an unreadable expression.

“(Name), I won’t judge you for your friendships, but I don’t think he’s a good guy. He said all those mean things to Killua and…”

He paused. “I’m afraid he may hurt you. Physically or emotionally.”

He didn’t give her time to speak, quickly putting his hands up in surrender. “It’s your decision though, but just keep in mind that he’s willing to hurt people to get what he wants. I don’t want that to happen to you.”

—————

(Name) had a lot to think about after her phone call ended. Something about Illumi pulled her towards him, maybe it was his good lucks or his strange personality, but there was something in him that felt familiar. To be by his side felt soothing, like hanging out with an old friend.

She didn’t want to believe he had the capacity to hurt her, even knowing he’d kill if it meant furthering his goals(whatever those were).

‘He may not be perfect, but I don’t think he’s awful either. I… I want to be his friend. I can’t even understand why, but I want to be near him.’

Sleep didn’t come easy to her that night, spending hours tossing and turning. Her restless mind kept replaying Gon’s words.

If for some reason, in the future, (Name) became an obstacle to his goals, would he strike her down with no regret?

So many questions, but no answers. When sleep finally took her, she could only dream of her childhood friend.

She missed him more than anything.

—————

Illumi pulled his legs to his chest and stared out at the midnight sky. His dark eyes took in the sight with little reaction.

Something about being in bed by himself when (Name) was so close by felt wrong. He craved her touch, craved the little sounds she made as she slept peacefully.

Before he could realize it, Illumi found himself at (Name)’s door, cracking it open. He promised her he wouldn’t get into bed with her, but said nothing about watching her sleep.

His large, dark orbs observed her every movement, glancing from her slowly rising chest to her lips where a light drool pooled from. Illumi held back a snicker, using his sleeve to wipe her mouth.

‘She’s so cute when she’s sleeping. It’s much easier to watch over her when she isn’t aware.’

(Name) shifted in her sleep, her face scrunching up in displeasure. “N-no… Illumi, please don’t go.”

His heart pounded against his chest. Was she dreaming about him? (Name) whined out, feeling the air for something that wasn’t there.

“Stay… a little longer… til I gotta go back home… for dinner.”

Oh. She was dreaming about him, but not the current Illumi. In her subconscious, she remembered her childhood friends name. This confused and frustrated him to no end. If she could remember him in a dream, why couldn’t she remember him when she was awake?

The smell of salty tears shook Illumi from his thoughts, his eyes drifting from her outstretched hand to her face.

“Miss… you… please…”

He leaned down, grabbing her hand and pressing it against his cheek. It felt nice to feel her warm palm caress his face, his lips meeting her fingers in a tender kiss.

“Shhh, I’m right here. Don’t cry.”

They stayed like that for a while, (Name) slowly calming down enough to sleep peacefully.

He let go of her hand, laying it down to rest on her chest. His eyes caught sight of her pouty lips, barely restraining himself from stealing a kiss.

‘This girl is going to be the death of me…’

He left her room and walked back to his, curling up under his blankets. He held his face, smiling to himself.

Illumi would be able to sleep now, with the ghost of her touch on his cheek.

[harmlessghosty]

Okay...hear me out domestic life with mhin☺️🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛

Domestic life with Mhin is relatively quiet and peaceful. There’s not much outside of what’s expected from a typical couple…sort of. Well, if you exclude all of the bloodstains in their clothes and the messy footprints on the floor every time they come home. They need time to unwind when they come through the door—at least half an hour of changing clothes and bathing, or a wet cloth to the face. Even better if you offer to do it for them, though they’ll fight tooth and nail to do it themself. Still, they want you to help, even if they shy away and try to snatch the wipe from your hand.

If you have a meal ready, they roll their eyes and cross their arms before grabbing a plate. “You didn’t have to do this, you know,” they say, but they’re clearly grateful no matter what the meal is. It could be slop for all they care; it’s the thought that counts, really. In fact, they know how hard it can be to speak appreciation and love, so they adore every single action you make to help them feel better. Life is hard. Life is really hard. They get it. Even the smallest of gestures make them fight a blush or a smile.

While they’re home with you, they’re glued to your side almost all of the time. If you’re cooking, they’re sitting on the counter reading, polishing their dagger at the table, or helping chop vegetables. They purposely brush against your waist when they cross your path, but they pretend it’s not happening. In fact, they scoff. “You’re always in my way. This kitchen isn’t big enough for two people,” when it could be the size of a whole apartment and they’ll still be touching your shoulder.

When you’re bathing, they constantly want to check up on you because they just never know what might happen. They’re concerned you’ll slip or fall asleep in the tub and drown. You’re always so tired, you moron, so make sure you’re quick, all right? If you’re down for it or you’re particularly achy or wounded, they’ll insist on bathing you themself. “You’re clearly incapable of doing it yourself. Am I supposed to let you hurt yourself worse?” They’re very cautious of hurting you more, and they’re upset that they can’t wash your arms, but the least they can do is run their hands along the rest of your body. It’s nice to give of themself, though they feel like it’s not enough, and maybe they’re being a little too gentle if you look a bit bruised. They really don’t care for seeing marks like that on you.

Grocery shopping is nice together too—though between the two of you, it’s hard to scrounge enough cash to get too much at a time. You’re lucky they get contracted through Leander often because you’re not really able to do much with whatever skills you have. Survival doesn’t exactly make the big bucks. Because Mhin makes most of the income, they control the meal plan, but that doesn’t mean they do it with an iron fist. They often walk through the market with you and point out things you may not have tried before, explaining the ingredients in fairly…rude ways. “You’ve never heard of roasted hellhog? Where did you say you grew up again? That’s insane. We’re buying it. No, I’m not arguing, I’m just saying you need to expand your horizons. I’m surprised you’ve survived this long on such a bland diet.”

[spookshollow]

Secrets

Jonathan crane x reader

Warning: angst but fluffy at the end

Masterlist

Jonathan crane was late again going back home, for the two weeks he had been coming home late whenever you are sleep and then goes off to work before you even wake up, you do understand the importance of his work at Arkham Asylum but this was getting ridiculous.

I decided to woke up a little early to talk to Jonathan, when you went to the kitchen he was surprised by you awake, "my dear? Why are you early up?" He then offer you coffee which you accepted "well apparently this is the only time to see you" I stated drinking the coffee that was quite too bitter for me, I heard him sigh for a bit as I went to add some sugar into my coffee.

"My dear you know how it is like working at a place like arkham, you would expect days I be gone for a long time at work" he began to explain his reasons but stopped talking when he see me upset by the lack of time we spent together, "look Jon.. I know this job takes a lot of time from us to be together I understand, but...I just like to see my boyfriend, from time to time" I replied placing my cup down on the kitchen counter and talking to him directly "but I have patients I have-"

"to work with and need you're upmost attention but don't you think you're girlfriend need just a small bit of attention too" I felt tears stinging my eyes as I try to hold them back.

I don't want to be like that's girls that are desperate for attention but now I started to act like them, Jonathan then held my hand in his and his other hand held my cheek as I look into my lovers eyes, "I'm so sorry, I made you feel this way, I try to be back home early as I can" he kiss me softly on my forehead as I relish in the feeling I had missed for so long, but it ended all too soon as he had to get to work, let's hope he kept his promise.

Timeskip

(Jonathan Crane Pov)

I promise (Y/N) that I be back early this time around but I don't think I won't be able to keep my promise if this Batman give ups, But is just wishes that will never come through.

But maybe my wish did came true as I had the chance to give him some of the fear gas, which in turn worked as it startedto take effect on him, and it was my chance to get away and run back to my home, I just hope (Y/N) isn't too mad.

The house was dark I check down on my watch and seen it was 11:35, weird she would be awake at this time, she must be tired, I unlocked the door and slowly got in and close the door behind me, I only realised I still have my scarecrow mask on so I need to get to the bathroom and remove my mask and hid my briefcase before she would find it in the morning.

I care for her too much to lose her now, "Jonathan you were late again" I suddenly heard for the living room 'shit!' I mentally said to myself  "I'm sorry my love I was late, I am just going to the bathroo-"

"No! Jonathan, you are going to explain to me what have you been doing that you are always late home?" She said and I can see in the dark, tears in her eyes and it hurt me seeing her like this.

"Are you cheating on me Jonathan?" My eyes widened as I look over to where she was in the living room "My darling would never, ever do that to you," I softy said to her hoping it will calm her, "then let me see your face so I know it's not true" she went over a switch the light on as I think of how do I explain this.

((Y/N) pov)

I turn the light on and saw my boyfriend with some sort of mask that would resemble some sort of scarecrow, I stood there confused as my boyfriend hung his head low, "Jonathan why do you have a scarecrow mask on? Are you- Uh.. you" I stumble over my words as I slowly go over to him as I lift the mask from his face, he didn’t had his glasses on as he looked sad 'is this what he was hiding from me? That he is the scarecrow?' I place my hand on his cheek and he nuzzled into my touch.

"Well at least I can say one thing...is that you didn't cheated" I softly spoke as he smiled very softly as he finally looked into my eyes "but this is a lot to take in" I said as I see the sadness in his eyes, I walked over to him and caress his cheek softly smiling to him

"but I am willing to accept for who you are and what you do and would stay by your side" his eyes brighten with happiness as he held my hands "thank you, and you should know I would never hurt you, your too precious to me" he said kissing my hands.

My heart began to rapidly beat and butterfly's appeared again inside me like the first time me and Jonathan met and I feel in love with my man even more "oh! Jonathan I know you wouldn't hurt me. I trust you very much" he then finally kissed me as he held me close, with this kiss it was feel with love and care for me, as I melted into the kiss leaving all the worries for another day.

[clickerflight]

Voltober 15. The Ones Who've Hurt You - From Dust to Ashes

Author's notes: Welcome to me playing with a man's trauma for all of our enjoyment!

Challenges Masterlist - Voltober 14

Content: human whumpee, traumatized whumpee, fear, seeing whumper in public, caretaker protecc!

@voltober

Seeing Whumper on the Street | “This is for __” | Whumper Turned Whumpee

Kyle allowed himself to be cajoled out to the store with Joseph more and more these days. It was getting bad for his wallet and he had no idea how Joseph managed to keep up his own funds, but he wasn’t too upset about it. He had finished his degree and had a good position in anthropology circles. He could always find a place willing to pay him to speak if he needed some extra cash.

Joseph was chatting at him as they pulled up to the grocery store and Kyle checked his shopping list to see if he needed anything. He had already bought everything he needed on Monday, so this would mostly just be a snack run for him.

“And I’m thinking of doing this whole roast like my grandma used to do. Thing is, Muir doesn’t really like beef, but I think there will be plenty of sides to keep him happy, and if he’s still hungry he can make himself a sandwich because I’m getting my roast dang it! Would you like to join us for that?”

“Sure,” Kyle said, putting his phone away.

They got out of the car and walked toward the store, Joseph planning out loud what they would need.

They got inside and Joseph was immediately distracted in the juice section.

Kyle looked around, feeling a little out of his body. He had spent all day reading a book written by an ancient vampire about life and the things she had seen and was still feeling a little unreal as Joseph had stirred him out of his book very suddenly before whisking him off to the store.

He tried too bring his mind to the present, shaking his head a little and murmuring to Joseph that he was going to look at the snacks.

The store was pretty quiet as it was a bit too late in the evening for humans to want to be going to the store but still too bright and warm for most vampires to want to be out and about either. Not that Joseph cared either way.

Kyle walked into the snack aisle, looking over the cookies and candies the story had to offer.

He picked out a couple packs and then paused and put one back. He should probably find a healthier snack. Maybe baby carrots?

He left the aisle and rounded a corner to the vegetable and fruits section, glancing over the crowd.

His chest gave an involuntary pang where he had been shot about three years ago and he rubbed at it nonchalantly until he realized what had brought the memory back.

There was a woman, her hair much shorter than it once was, older, sadder, and wearing baggy clothing picking through the fruit.

Joanna. Joanna was standing there in the same store as Kyle. The woman who had shot him was OUT OF JAIL! He knew that she had gotten a light sentencing because people didn’t take the pain of vampires that seriously so they didn’t really punish her much for what she did to Esial, but she’d also shot him! And Kyle was human. Why was she out so soon? Why hadn’t he been notified? Had she escaped from prison? There was no way she’d be here just looking through the apples if she’d escaped prison. Was there?

She looked up and her eyes locked with Kyle’s wide ones.

Kyle didn’t even see her reaction to him, turning and bolting, dropping the cookies he had grabbed in his desperate search for Joseph. Joseph had the keys. They needed to get out and drive away very very fast. He needed to get away from here and call the police.

He awkwardly tried to get his phone out of his back pocket while sprinting through the store. He found Joseph and practically crashed into him, grabbing his arm. “We have to get out of here,” he gasped, shaky fingers trying to dial 911.

“Woah, calm down! What’s going on-”

“Joanna!” Kyle croaked. “She’s here!”

“Here?” Joseph asked, a rare look of rage darkened his face. “You’re sure?”

“I am! Let’s go please!”

Joseph nodded and, after a regretful look at his cart, abandoned it. Kyle felt rather touched by the gesture. Joseph would never abandon his cart for anything he didn’t consider serious.

Joseph and Kyle made their way toward the entrance, pausing only to apologize to an employee for abandoning the cart, before they made it to the exit.

The only issue was Joanna had the same thought.

The three froze and Kyle stood stunned as Joseph got in front of him, baring his fangs at Joanna. “What are you doing here!?”

The people nearby froze, surprised by the sudden aggression from a vampire in public.

Joanna put her hands up quickly. “I’m leaving.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be in jail?” Joseph snarled, drawing the attention of more customers. Security would likely be there soon.

“I’m out on probation for good behavior,” she said quickly. “I’m leaving. I’m going. I’m sorry.”

“You should be!” Joseph practically spat.

He watched as she darted out and he relaxed with a sigh.

He turned to Kyle and put a hand on his arm. “Are you alright?”

Kyle nodded numbly as security got there.

Joseph explained the situation to the men and was given the permission to keep shopping so they wouldn’t have to go out and maybe see Joanna in the parking lot.

As they returned to the cart, Kyle stared at the items Joseph had collected inside for a long moment before he asked, “Do you think Muir would be annoyed if I stay the night at your guys’ place?”

“No, not at all. Especially after all that,” Joseph said, annoyance in his tone for the situation, not at Kyle.

Kyle relaxed a little and nodded. “I’m not sure if I’ll get much sleep.”

Joseph’s expression softened and he stepped around the cart, pulling Kyle into a hug.

Kyle hesitantly hugged him back, embarrassed about doing so in public, but relieved nonetheless.

“We’re always going to have your back, man. Don’t be afraid to ask,” Joseph told him before leaning back and smiling up at him. “Now, do you want to help me with my list?”

Kyle sighed, smiling shakily. “Yeah. I’d love to.”

VTB Part 16

FDTA Masterlist

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@why-not-ask-me-a-better-question @thecyrulik @gt-daboss @currentlyinthespiral @pigeonwhumps @not-a-space-alien