#but I always feel its bad jokes Id get hit for saying lmao

[quodekash]

FUUUUUUUUUUUCKing hell theyre gonna kiss today????

hes so grumpy already I love this so much

the silent conversations chain and toey are having with their eyes oml I cant

pls this is so funny

theyre both deeply in love with someone else so it's jsut so unnatural to them

BUT ALSO id like to mention that the first thing chain did when he had to pretend to be hitting on toey was put his arm around his shoulders and rest his hand there. which is what he's literally ALWAYS doing with pun, no matter when it is, he's always standing next to pun with his hand resting on one of his shoulders

its like he associates his time with pun as being in a romantic relationship 👀

THESE FUCKIN BASTARDS 😭

JUST KISS IM BEGGING YOU

theyre lost in their own little world 🥺

kiIIIIIS

this is too funny, the cuts from "chain. chain what happened next." to ✨soulful dramatic guitar music✨

im sad they didnt actually kiss but also im not surprised

LOOK AT THEM, DUDE

THEYRE SO NATURAL WITH EACH OTHER

I FUCKIN LOVE FRIENDS TO LOVERS SO SO MUCH

half convinced theyre already dating, they just cant be bothered saying anything so theyre waiting for others to ask them about it

PUN IS SO CUTE DUDE I ADORE HIM HES FUCKING ADORABLE

I LOVE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH THEYRE SOIMPORTANT TO ME

if I ever have a romantic partner, this is what I want

I cant explain it, I just wanna run up to them with pure joy and excitement, and for them to hold me back by just pushing against my skull

it just seems perfect, idk why

GB4JHERGB

THE FRIENDSHIP OF ALL TIME

genuinely think I might be more invested in their friendship than all the romantic relationships in this show

im fucking CRYING

my king matt, this was so unnecessary and I love everything about it

why does it suit him so well tho

they should kiss again I think

I feel everything about this image on a spiritual level

THIS ENTIRE AMUSEMENT PARK SEQUENCE BRINGS ME SO MUCH JOY AND DOPAMINE IM IN LOVE WITH THSI EPUSODE

NEW COMFORT EPISODE UNLOCKED

look its really funny but I do feel bad cos this day is not even a little bit fun for him

like q is having a complete shit time

poor chain doesn't love amusement parks but he has to go on the rides with toey to keep up the facade cos toey loves these rides 😭

and its even worse realising Q also seems to love amusement parks, so he would be having a fucking amazing time if he could just go on all the rides next to Q cos they both love it so much 😭😭

fuckin FINALLY

LMAO WHAT

THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY I JUST SCREECHED WITH LAUGHTER SO LOUD AND ITS MIDNIGHT

THE PURE COMICAL SHOCK AS HE REALISDE WHAT HE SAID, THE EXCITEMENT FROM EVERYONE ELSE AS THEYR EALISE WHAT HE SAID

I mean to be fair it was REALLY obvious

im surprised no one noticed earlier but also its a bl so im not at all surprised to find out theyre all fuckin dumbasses

SERIOUSLY THO TANFANG IS WHAT I WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP HOLY SHIT

a lot of the time watching bls ill be like "I want that" but its usually as a joke

but THIS?? the fucking adhd bastard (me) who just wants to be near their partner and compliment and always stimming and just having a swell fucking time while the other one loves them but is mildly tired but also in adoration? FUCKIN GIMME

also how the fuck has Q not realised, theyre all so fucking obvious

also also I cant explain it it just feels deeply as though pun and chain are for real dating they just havent told anyone yet

ill make a post about it all at some point maybe (I definitely wont)

PHYSICAL TOUCH IS HIS LOVE LANGUAGE 😭😭😭

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH HE DOESNT HAVE TO HOLD HIM SECRETLY ANYMORE THEY CAN JUST WALK HAND IN ARM NATURALLY NOW

hear me out tho, this gets even funnier if he's actually already in a committed relationship that no one knows about yet

I dont think it's secret dating, it's just 'not super obvious dating to try and see JUST how oblivious all our friends are. its been three years at this point and still no one's said anything. we're starting to lose all hope.'

I love tan so much, the little wave

what the FUCK

what the FUCK FUCK???

THE SOUNDWIN LINE????

HERE IT IS ITS FUCKIN COMIN GUYS

HE SAID IT

HE FUCKIN SAID IT

[insert that gif of the crowd of people in the bar going insane]

holy fucking shit dude holy fucking shit

my legs are literally shaking idk if I can do this

FUCK TO THE YES, FUCKING EXPLICIT ASK FOR CONSENT HOLY FUCKING SHIT

WHAT THE FUCK

AND THE FUCKING SONG IN THE BACKGROUND !!!!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT DUDE

im gonna be here all day

I dont even need to watch the rest of the episode now

I can just go to bed if I want and watch the rest later or smth

dude I cant wait for q to realise that toey is milk frappe guy

HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT JUST PROCESSED IN MY MIND THAT THEY KISSED

WHAT THE FUCK

omg making out in a haunted house, what a dream

the workers watching on the security cameras probably had a blast that day

how funny would it be if there'd been a scare actor in the shadows in that room with them and they'd been about to scare them but they were too shocked with that tender kiss to remember they have a job

he needs to lie on his bed and just stare at his roof and think about that for a while

tbh same

look at him 🥺 he's so lost in that memory

thEY FUCKIN MADE OUT HOLY FUCK

welp on that note I think im done for now

I might finish the ep with my silly thoughts+screenshots later but for now tis the time for sleep

[transzilla]

I think you hit on an idea for like, why it's so difficult for me to be sexual or talk about trauma. I Always feel as if "I'm ruining" a good situation or discussion by doing something or bringing up a certain topic. Is it always like this?? It brings a lot of unnecessary shame and stress by because I feel as if I've got to live by other people's rules.

It depends, some people really will like. react that strongly and IMO pretty unfairly. With sexual stuff like it is probably partially cus yr not cishet like if i was married to a woman i could joke about not getting much sleep last night wink wink nudge nudge or that oh my daughter was conceieved there or we're "trying for a baby" nd nobody would really say anything but ig even if theyre not overtly homophobic the hookupy nature of it and the fact that id have to teach a 101 in just how it functions has people clutching their pearls. Plus with trauma if people just haven't gone through the same thing they get scared LOL like people wanna make it seem like you're the bad guy and make all these social rules like oh youre TRAUMA DUMPING like.. is it trauma dumping with somebody ive known for years?? that i consider a close friend?? Are they really a close friend if they cant fucking listen to me on one thing? Like when you elaborate suddenly youre the one that sounds like an asshole lmao

Like dont get me wrong theres a time and a place like nobody wants to be that guy. Like I had to learn where to keep my mouth shut just because it was making people uncomfortable, even if sometimes its not my fault like with trauma youre really not a bad person you just need help and people arent interested in helping. Nd like thats their business yk you just need to move on some people are squeamish, thts fine they can go back to watching baby shark. With sex its like confusing cus people will make hints and innudendo but you talk about it like a fucking adult and all of a sudden you're doing something wrong dndjrjsn but like ok whatever guess I won't talk abt it anymore. Its hard to be like oh well this entire time and place of your life needs to be kept secret like a fucking underground witch coven or something especially when it takes up a pretty big part. But there are cool ones like there will be ppl who went through the same thing there will be people who actually have sex and you can actually have a discussion with like not everyone is annoying like that, let them lead like you might have to drop pins if you dont know the person that well but some people are bros! Youll find them.

[ffsg0jo]

izuku getting bakugo to sniff for peanuts LMAOOO putting his man to good use ig

OCHAKO THE LOML BEEN WAITING FOR HER TO TURN UP ASKAKALSJAKA I LOVE HER SO MUCH BEST GIRL FR FR

Denki fr wipes the smile off my face bro ruins everything but its also somewhat endearing? idk but maybe aizawa was onto something trying to fire him (im joking that's my king fr)

izuku not being able to say oil is fucking killing me redneck izuku inbound

you thought you were being subtle - hate to break it to you bestie but that man got you fucked up WHICH IS FAIRSS but i would've handed in my resignation by now.

im still screaming and throwing up over the fact that aizawa probably thinks she just used him to get denki rehired miscommunication is the worst and im really feeling it rn. my tummy hurts and all

that makes your gums ache, like a punch to the nose, and it makes you feel dirty, like the fall to the ground afterwards. - felt this so hard tbh. as an ugly girlie the amount of times ive looked myself and thought damn how could anyone ever truly find me attractive they were probably lying fr

'a collective glance' - so you're all chatting shit behind reader's back. okay i see how it is. jokes aside i think it's sweet they care about the reader and know she deserves better than touya. it's so easy to say 'oh you deserve better blah blah blah' but then in your mind you're thinking do i really? would better even want me? DAMN MY THOUGHTS ARE GETTING SAD

'like your dating toshinori' - that's reader's dad fr fr absolutely NOT

ochako proving why she's my fave. exactly the type of friend you need. she's reassuring and comforting but also really firm and stands her ground. i love you ochako forever no one can make me hate you

“Oh, I also think you should kill him,” he says, tone matching Katsuki’s. - i live for unhinged izuku thank you mint he'd absolutely agree with bakugo !!!

'his free hand guards it from denki' - someone put him on a leash or something bros a menace fr but im so here for it though

'i don't like blondes' - TELL AIZAWA PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BESTIE JUST HIT HIM UP AND LET HIM KNOE !!!!!

ochako i support you 100% fully please PLEASEEEE im right there with you tbh and i agree wholeheartedly 🙏🏾 really want a side story with ochako and hizashi/nemuri that would be so cool

yes girl love that energy !! be mean !! put yourself first and don't let any man hold you back queen

How does a man yoyo between yelling at you, sending you his weiner, then telling you that you’re embarrassing? The idea of ‘always wanted you’ goes flying out the window. - the duality of a man frrr. he's probably really hurt though icl if i thought i was being used id be heartbroken especially if it was someone i really always liked but at the same time he just jumped to conclusions. sigh someone sit them down for a coffee and mediate a convo pls i need them to just hurry up and get together

LMFAOOOO PEANUT OILLL LOVING THIS ENERGY

okay but lowkey i feel bad for aizawa whys that actually kinda sad. he doesn't help himself but i can empathise with him

he's such an old man lmao grumbling the whole time bless him

Oh, Katsuki was right. Being mean tastes good. - love this for reader, she's growing a backbone and that's great but im slightly worried and scared for the future chapters 😀

this really isn't good for my blood pressure im fr not okay about this im gonna scream and shout and cry and sob and i just want them to talk it out. ik it's not gonna happen any time soon and it'll probably get worse tbh BUT STILL UGHHHHHJ I WANT THEM BOTH TO BE HAPPY SO BADDDD

i have a love hate relationship with miscommunication trope because it makes me sad but i love the way it hurts so much. IM SO SO SCARED FOR THE FUTURR CHAPTERS ASJAHHAHHHHHHH

the thing is i can empathise with both characters and i feel like a child who's parents are going through a divorce trying to pick a side. obviously im on reader's though she's been through so much (and so has aizawa tbh)

SHE BETTER NOT GO BACK TO TOUYA YOU BETTER KEEP THE SAME ENERGY FOR HIM TOO MISSY IF HE TRIES WALTZING BACK INTO YOUR LIFE !! BE MEAN !!!!

Inevitable Things: chapter five

Aizawa x reader fic

cw: cisfem reader, no quirks, office au, miscommunications, slow burn. full tags available on AO3 (linked in masterlist)

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Fridays are the only day you carve out time for lunch. Less than coincidentally, Fridays are also the only day lunch is catered.

“Here-” Izuku jams his bowl of take out into Katsuki’s face. “Does it smell like there’s peanuts in here?”

Bakugo Katsuki, Izuku’s fiance, is only half as ornery as he looks. A premature wrinkle has formed in between his brows, a sign of his almost constant annoyance. His straw colored hair is a sharp contrast to his deep red eyes, currently narrowed in disgust.

“Get this shit out of my fucking face,” he groans. “I’m not a fucking allergy alert dog-- I can’t smell peanuts.”

“To be fair-” Ochako interjects through a mouthful. She’s the opposite of Katsuki: dark hair, round eyes, a smile so sweet that it makes your teeth hurt. Her cheeks are always flushed, spots of broken blood vessels spattered like freckles. “Peanuts do have a smell.”

“Did you ask him to smell for penis?” Denki says, too loud to be genuine. “Kind of homophobic to ask a gay guy that.”

Both men give him identical deadpan stares.

“That’s just his fucking country-ass accent.” Katsuki brushes Denki off and turns back to the curly haired man. “Why would chicken have peanuts in it anyway?”

“The o’l.” Izuku stresses.

“The what?”

“Some places use peanut o’l.”

“Say oil.”

Izuku sneers a bit in return, smoothing out the curves of his accent. “Oy-I’ll.”

“Jesus christ, I’m marrying a hick.” Katsuki leans back in his chair and meets your eye with a jerk of his chin. “Can you believe this?”

You snap back into focus. Your own lunch is untouched, fork still in its little plastic wrapper. Hunger nips at your stomach, but nausea wins over today. The cafeteria isn’t very busy, but in the next couple minutes everyone will start pouring in. The lot of you arrived early to get the best seating-- a little couch and coffee table in the corner, a perfect place to eat and people watch.

“Oh, yeah, uh- Izuku, they have an allergen free option.”

“Well, yeah, but-” He tilts his head as he talks, watching you with those wide, green eyes, like he sees something just below the surface. “It doesn't have chicken-- are you good?”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you.” Katsuki fingers a piece of Izuku’s food and pops it into his mouth, much to the man’s dismay. “You’ve been making that sad little face all day.”

You pout a bit harder at that. Shit-- you thought you were being subtle. You haven’t been able to walk this whole Aizawa thing off yet, despite all of your attempts. No amount of emails, meetings, and other petty office bullshit managed to distract you from the absolute shock and humiliation of… whatever that was.

Embarrassment.

Embarrassment? You’re certainly not the prettiest girl in the office, but embarrassing? That makes your gums ache, like a punch to the nose, and it makes you feel dirty, like the fall to the ground afterwards.

“You’re doing it again.” Ochako points to your face and it’s apparently sadness. “What’s going on?”

You hem a bit, before condensing it the best you can.

“I’m having issues with a guy.” What an understatement.

A collective glance is shared between the group.

“Touya again?”

Again, Touya haunts a room he’s never been in. You debate what to say. If you admit to it being someone new, they might start sniffing around and jump to conclusions-- though Aizawa would certainly be the last assumption they would make, you still can’t risk it. Besides, you don’t need a gaggle of 23 year olds dissecting your every move. They’re going to jump to some stupid conclusion, like you’re dating Toshinori, if you aren’t careful.

“Yeah, it’s Touya,” you lie, as sheepishly as you can. “Oops.”

“Jesus Fucking Christ.” Katsuki rolls his eyes so hard that you imagine his brain must hurt. “Again?”

“Shh, just tell us what happened,” Izuku urges, elbowing his partner rather sharply.

“I don't know where I stand with him. It's so-- Ugh, I thought things were going to start going well and then it was just ice cold.” You press your palms into your eyes and sigh. The pressure feels good and helps with the remnants of your hangover. You need an electrolyte drink, stat. Maybe another fucking drink too. “And I’m not even sure why I’m surprised because it’s ice cold a lot.”

When you look up, Ochako is offering a hand, palm up and open. When you take it, she giggles a bit, squeezing gently.

“I think you need to prioritize yourself.”

Denki nods in agreement, cheeks stuffed with food. He’s finished his meal and started stabbing bits of yours. You just push the whole bowl towards him in defeat and slump down into the couch.

“Stop giving men who treat you poorly the time of day.” Ochako says. “When you let them in again and again, you’re basically, like, giving them permission to do this stuff.”

“Yeah!” Denki says through a mouthful. “Cut that fucker off! Don’t even talk to him!”

“Oh, I dunno--” You glance between them. “I think that’d be mean.”

Conflict makes your head spin. It’s so much easier to roll over and take whatever people give you, negative or otherwise. It’s what made your relationship with Touya work-- and it’s what’s allowed you to stay in this job for so long.

“Good!” Denki says. “He deserves it.”

“You deserve to be a little mean and a little angry when people treat you poorly.” She smiles again, wider this time. “Grow some balls. Stand up for yourself.”

“Yeah! Balls!” Denki agrees.

You suck on your bottom lip and turn the idea over in your head. Are you even angry at Aizawa? Or just hurt and confused? Right now, those things may as well be the same thing-- they certainly burn the same in your chest. Cruelty isn’t your usual indulgence…

But it’s someone else’s.

“What do you think?” You turn to Katsuki, who’s been scrolling through twitter for a bit now. His face doesn’t change when he speaks, locked into a general annoyance.

“I think you should kill that fucker.”

You turn to Izuku, the rational one of the couple. He shrugs, straw in mouth and completely unamused.

“Oh, I also think you should kill him,” he says, tone matching Katsuki’s.

Not helpful.

“Listen--” Katsuki leans forward, elbows on his spread knees. He uses a fork to articulate as he speaks. “I’m the expert on being a cunt-”

“-we don’t use that word!” Ochako grimaces.

“And it’s the most freeing and addictive thing you can be.” The tongs of the fork point directly towards you, as sharp as his gaze. “More people should be cunts more often. The world would be a happier place.”

Ochako gasps. “I don’t agree with that at all!”

“Oh please, miss goody-goody,” Katsuki sneers. “You wouldn't need to go to kickboxing five times a week if you let your anger out day to day like a normal motherfucker.”

The girl of the group puffs out her cheeks, but does not argue back. Izuku pats her shoulder affectionately. His food is still untouched, but his free hand guards it from Denki.

“I'm telling you. Try it out. You’ll like it.” Katsuki leans back into his seat. “Or don't. Your life.”

“Question-” The other blonde pipes up. “Did you, like, do something?”

“Kaminari!”

“I mean, like, was there a catalyst?” “A fight or a date or-?”

You know exactly what drives Touya away everytime, but Aizawa is a new beast. Did you breathe wrong or--

“Oh, I uh,” A realization hits you. “I ignored a couple texts, I guess.”

Suddenly, you’re very aware of the outline of your phone and how it presses into your pocket. If there wasn’t a chance of you flashing the group pictures of their boss, you’d check it immediately, but you can’t mentally handle the risk.

“What an overreaction,” Ochako sighs. “Dump him forever and move on-- Mr. Hizashi and his wife-”

“We aren’t like that.” Ugh. You love Hizashi, but the trio relationship isn’t your speed. “Besides, I don’t like blondes.”

The two toe-heads of the group roll their eyes in a practiced synchrony. Ochako’s smile changes a little bit, something tighter and brighter; is she excited that you aren’t interested? Interesting and a bit gross: she’s too young for that. They’re more than ten years older than her-

(How old is Aizawa? He went to school with Hizashi, so he’s at least 38-- but you could have sworn there were whispers of his fortieth last year. You’ll have to snoop.)

“We’re in agreement. Be a cunt, move on. The end.” Katsuki turns away from you, done with this topic. “Izuku, just fucking eat it already.”

The boy takes a deep breath and runs his fingers through his curly hair. “Well, alright, but if I get hives, you’re the one who has to deal with me.”

…

Be mean.

You’re written it on a sticky note and placed it under your computer monitor, like some sort of fucked up mantra. The mere idea of it feels antithetical to who you are at your core; you enjoy helping people, you love making the world better. That’s why you work like a dog for the company-- you know it’s improving the lives of its customers. If Toshinori wasn’t sick, you know he’d be doing even more too.

On the other hand, being nice has led to your own detriment many times. Touya has hurt you, your parents, and now even Aizawa. And you can’t even blame Aizawa, can you? Texting him was your mistake--

You rest your forehead against your desk. There’s still a sticky spot from when you spilled your coffee yesterday. God, yesterday feels so close and yet so far away. How does a man yoyo between yelling at you, sending you his weiner, then telling you that you’re embarrassing? The idea of ‘always wanted you’ goes flying out the window.

Just as you try and put yourself to work, you hear it. The familiar lopsided stomp. Fuck, it’s him, probably looking for his afternoon coffee. He’s been by much less than usual, a fact you’re very grateful for, so you haven’t even thought about the pot since before lunch. You glance over and see it’s empty. Crap.

As you start to get up, the sticky note catches your eye again. Be mean. That’s right. Why are you popping out of your chair for this, this, this--- total fucking cunt? Your chair squeaks with the force you sit down with. You try to embody Katsuki with your face - furrowing your brow and yet keeping your mouth unaffected-- and your worst nightmare turns the corner.

You keep typing and hope Aizawa doesn't notice that it's the same words over and over again, hit in the same rhythm. P-e-a-n-u-t-O-i-l P-e-a-n-u-t-O-i-l P-e-a-n-u-t-O-i-l P-e-a-n-u-t-O-i-l. He waits a long moment, then clears his throat louder. You don't gift him your attention until he grumbles something under his breath, shifting his weight on to his other leg. Just as he begins to say something, you interject.

“I had more important things to focus on,” you lie. “You can figure out how to brew coffee, Mr.// Engineer.”

You throw in that last bit without thinking, but the bite rolls so easily off of your tongue. It’s nothing like your usual tone, but it feels so, so right. From the corner of your vision you can see his literally reel back, blinking hard,

“That’s how it’s going to be?”

You don’t respond. P-e-a-n-u-t-O-i-l P-e-a-n-u-t-O-i-l P-e-a-n-u-t-O-i-l P-e-a-n-u-t-O-i-l. Your fingers shake from the adrenaline boost. Ochako was right; don't even give this man the time of day.

“It's going to be like that?” He yanks the pot from its stand. “Fine.”

You have to muster all of willpower not to grin as he starts slamming open the drawers and scrounging around for supplies. It takes a whole ten minutes before he presses brew, then another five before the pot is almost half full. The whole time he grumbles to himself, leaning his whole weight against the flimsy table.

This is good. Too good. The vindictive rush of power feels almost sexual in the way it satisfies. Teeth dig into your lip as you hold back a smile even harder.

Embarrassment? You'll show him what embarrassment really means.

Finally, he pours himself a cup. He doesn't fill his thermos nearly as much as he normally does, most likely trying to leave as quickly as possible. Just as he starts to turn, you get up out of your chair and walk over. You take one of the little disposable cups from the stack and take your time adding three sugars and two cream, each one at a time, as he lurks there. Then, you pour the coffee, thick and oddly gritty into your cup. You finally meet his eye when you take a swig.

Aizawa’s face is set hard, small eyes narrowed even tighter. His lips are screwed up with annoyance, wrinkling his low bridged nose. Pissed would be an understatement. Just as you brace for another yelling match, he turns away, marching down the hall.

“Enjoy the fucking coffee.”

Oh, Katsuki was right. Being mean tastes good.

….This coffee, however, does not.

[cryo-lily]

Lily is totally the kind of person to make stupid jokes when she's bored while out scavenging.

Lily: Hey, Hey Piper!

Piper: Hmm?

Lily: *Holds up pool rack* Nice Rack 😂

[imeverywoman420]

Ok i have to go work on my astrology readings but callout post for pisces bitch bc i like making lists. Feel free to commiserate with me in the replies or share similar stories.

1. Literally always facetiming me with her bf in the room/no boundaries. Im not besties with your boyfriend and i dont like his judgmental comments. I dont wanna censor myself when i talk bc your normie boyfriend is there.

2. Always bullied me and put me down in high school especially in front of other people “as a joke”/to “improve” me.

3. Did not ever come to visit me when my dad died despite her having a car. Her reason: “i dont like driving”. She drives Every day lmao. Its a 20 min drive. Not like id expect her to be there 24/7 but at least once come on

4. Refuse to engage with any conversation topics she deemed “low vibrational”.

5. Has a bad ass untrained dog that she hits. Yea she literally hits her dog because her logic is you have to discipline them BUT HE LITERALLY PISSES AND SHITS EVERYWHERE ANYWAYS. Yeah the last time i saw her irl and she did that i was like. Paralyzed. I felt like…. WHAT. like my FRIEND? Did that. I tried to shake it off so they wouldnt look at me weird for being “judgmental” but um. Idk i just kinda re evaluated everything.

6. Invited me to her halloween kick back a few months after my dad died and i was still in rock bottom. I kept saying “im going to act weird. I dont know if this is a good idea. Like i promise you im going to behave weirdly i havent left my house in 7 months or spoke to anyone” and was like Just Come… then when i was getting anxious she woild just distance herself avoided me made fun of me in front of her friends.

[vlogsquadssquad]

Secure 2

summary: Charlie confesses his feelings and reader has to decide if that's what she wants, or if another guy has her *attention*

a/n: i’m honestly BLOWN away at part 1′s feedback. y'all really loved it so Ive been working on this all day, I hope its everything youve been waiting for! thank you to my new followers, ive been writing for a bit for fun and no one was reading my stories but after the reaction for the last story I was so motivated to write. I have A LOT more ideas and even an idea for a part 3 with smut and maybe even reader having to tell the boy she didn't choose the bad news, who knooowwsss. send me in suggestions! 

warnings: language, alluding to smut at the end.

mood board:

-- YOUR POV

my life has been the most fun lately. ive been hanging out with David and he really gets me to let loose. he's always trying to top his last video which is so fun to be a part of. even if we wait around the house all day. tonight im alone though. I told him I needed to get some writing down for the last song of my album. I want it to be about being happy with yourself and secure with who you are. that you don't need another person to define who you are. but im having trouble putting that into words that rhyme. maybe I should just see what David is up to.

- daveyy (:

hey, I know I said I was busy but my mind is too cluttered and im curious what the vlog squad is up to 😉 >

< hahaa nothing actually. im by myself at the house tonight. really boring. watching movies ive seen dozens of times.

oh no! your friends realize they were too cool for you? >

< probably lmao. what are you up to?

trying to finish this last song but I can't think straight >

hey would you wanna come over? its ok if you're too busy being alone watching 50 first dates lol >

< how'd you know? 😅 id love to. chipotle?

- end texts -

“hey, loser” I say as he walks in with our food and... is that ice cream? “wait, did you get ice cream?” 

“yeah, I got your favorite flavor!” he says with a smile. my heart aches at the kind gesture. “wow your house is so nice” he sets the food on my counter as he glances around. 

“thank you, im really into interior design... and nice houses” i joke as i examine the ice cream David got for me. he chuckles as he gets my food out of the bag and sets it up in my living room. I put on a movie to watch but we end up muting it and just talking instead. our conversations just seem to flow. “what's a memory that stands out to you from your childhood?” I ask him. “there's so many things,” he puts his arm around the back of my couch as we sit sideways to face each other. we finished eating forever ago. “probably just all of high school. I learned so much, from my friends and my teachers. nothing academically, obviously.” he laughs. I smile to him and run my fingers through my hair. he watches my movements and for a moment its quiet.

“I think you're really smart.” I say finally. “I love how you push me, you're always there for me, and you just come up with the best ideas. you're so creative.” 

“wow. what did I do to deserve your kindness?” he asks with a slight laugh.

“I can think of a few things.” our conversation became much lighter after that. after a while we went into my home studio and he helped me write. the night was filled with jokes and endless laughing but also had serious moments too. I shared very personal details about my life. but the best thing of all was that there was no camera in sight. it was just friends being friends. no clickbait. no underlying purpose for the long stay. it was perfect.

-- next day

“hey y/n could I come over and talk?” Charlie asked over the phone.

“sure, I don't have anything planned till tonight.”

“ok be there in 20.”

“what's the sudden emergency?” I ask as he walks in the door.

“there's just something I've been wanting to confess for a really long time and i’m not sure-”

“its ok Charlie, what is it?”

“I think I'm in love with you.”

my heart dropped. Im frozen in time. I don't need a relationship right now and I sure as hell can't lose my friendship with Charlie.

“I don't know what to say...”

“say you love me too!” he moves closer to me “I know you do! you always want to be around me, have me close to you, we talk all night. I know you feel it.”

I look at him with a blank expression.

“I honestly don't. I've never thought of you that way, and I'm really enjoying being single. for once in my life I'm not letting the pressure of having someone on my arm get to me, I don't need this right now, I-”

“what..? y/n. don't do this.”

“I'm not doing anything it's just the truth.” I look to the ground as his eyes fill with tears. “I think you should go.” I say.

-- DAVIDS POV, that night

- y/n/n 😋

you're still coming to my party tonight right? >

< I wouldn't miss it! so proud of you! ❤️

tonight was my party to celebrate my new show. I haven't told the fans yet but this vlog will be my announcement. we start filming for it on Monday and I've never been more excited. its exactly what I've been dreaming of all my life.

the party started to kick off and all my friends slowly started showing up. Charlie was going to perform his unreleased song tonight and everyone was already talking about it. 

“hey have you heard anything from y/n and Charlie? are they dating?” Ilya comes up and whispers to me.

“no man, I haven't heard anything. I was with y/n all night last night and I wasn't exactly begging her to give me details but we did talk for hours about random stuff and she never brought him up or texted anyone. I don't know they might not be.” I say with hope shining through the cracks of my voice.

“I can just ask Charlie?” Ilya offers. he's such a good friend when it matters.

I nod and then head to get something to drink. y/n still wasn't here and I was getting antsy.

just then I hear Natalie let someone in. I peak around the corner and see y/n. she looks drop dead gorgeous. i’ve never seen her dressed up like that. I think she saw right through me and asked if she had something on her face. 

“no, no, I just have never seen you dressed like that. you look great.” I look to the floor. no way she and Charlie aren't an item. they both love music and they're both flawless people. they're a match made in heaven. 

“well, thank you, cowboy.” she says in a funny southern accent. she was so weird. she came in for a hug and she smelled exactly like when I first met her. I put my hand on the small of her back and for a split second I felt her push more into me. 

“so where can I get a drink?” she asked as we pulled apart.

“a drink?” I ask

“yes, i’ve had a bizarre day and I need a drink.”

Im about to ask her what she means when I hear Charlie from behind me 

“hey, babe, you're late.” he says to y/n as he pulls her into a hug. she almost looks uncomfortable. “hey Charles, how are you?” 

“i’m great, i’ve had several drinks and im thinking much clearly-er now”

“I can smell that” she chuckles

I hand her her favorite drink and ask her if she finished the song. after a short conversation Charlie pulls her to the couch where some other friends are doing karaoke. she's basically sitting on his lap and laughing. I grab my camera and record a little outside trying to not think about it.

-- YOUR POV

I honestly think drunk Charlie has forgotten about our conversation from earlier. which i’m relieved because sometimes I just need good ol Charlie and not this new one that was in love with me. sure he's a little touchy but we were always close like that. 

“alright I promised David I would perform an unreleased song tonight. come on I want you to hear it.” he grabs my hand pulls me up. I have a gut feeling I don't want to be here for it.

David set up the mic outside and everyone found a seat. David sat next to me with camera in hand. 

“alright alright” Charlie starts. “hopefully I don't forget the lyrics since i’m a little buzzed.” the audience laughed. “but this song means a lot to me, and I wrote it with someone in mind. someone who has changed my life for the better and made me a better man.”

oh god, please don't say my name 

“y/n. you are everything to me. I wouldn't be able to be who I am today without you.”

everyone looks to me as the music starts. a love song. i place my head in my hands and David nudges me. “you ok?” he whispers.

“can you please get me out of here?” he nods his head and stands up. Charlie is looking down at his guitar lost in his music. I feel bad leaving but how could he not take no as an answer? I follow David out the door and my head is down in shame. he closes the patio door and turns to me. “what is going on? I thought you guys were dating?” 

“oh god, not you too.” I groan. “just please I need to be anywhere but here right now. fast.”

“okay. let’s go.”

we go to his garage and he looks at me. 

“you said fast!” he shrugs as he opens the passenger Ferrari door for me. I laugh with my head thrown back “true. but im going to need a jacket or blanket.”

“here, use mine.” he took off his hoodie and handed it to me. I hopped in the car and we were off.

“anywhere in mind?” he asks as we pull out of the neighborhood.

“nope,” I smile. “im kinda hungry though”

“alright,” he turns the car at the light. “then we’re gonna make this worth our while. I know an overly expensive place with great burgers.” 

I laugh at him as my hair blows in the wind “yes! lets spend all your money!” I lift my arms and scream. David just laughs at me. we speed down the highways. ive never felt so free. 

we finally arrive to the place and get seated.

“so do you wanna tell me why we left my party now?”

“i’m sorry by the way. I didn't mean to drag you from your party but...” I look down and pick at my napkin “Charlie confessed his feelings for me this afternoon.” David looked at me confused. 

“isn't that a good thing?” he asked.

“not if I don't feel the same way.” I sigh and David looks surprised. “I was very clear about my feelings- or lack of. but he had been hitting on me all night and then the song. I know he was drunk but im really worried for my friendship with him.” 

“I can't believe my ears.” he said almost laughing. “you, y/f/n, don't like the guy who seems like he was sent down from the heavens for you?” 

“nope. he just isn't my type I guess, I don't know. I never really thought of him that way and I don't want to.”

“wow, no one will be up to your standards will they?” David laughs as he takes a drink.

“the right guy will be.”

perfect timing. the waitress comes over with our food. we thank her and get eating. he was right. best. burgers. ever! 

I moan as I take another bite.

David looks me up and down with his cheeks full of burger and chuckles. “okay, y/n, calm down. it isn't no Charlie puth.”

I gasp and throw a fry at him playfully, laughing. “no... no it is not!” we both laugh harder. as we finish up David pays despite my best efforts and we head to my house so he can drop me off. the car ride was fun, we listened to all the hits and sang our hearts out. we got tons of funny looks, but nothing mattered. I grabbed his vlog camera he threw to the side and recorded him singing and then popped myself into frame and had the camera aimed at both of us. our hair was crazy and the night was wearing down on us but it didn't matter. we were just happy to be alive. 

as we pulled into my driveway and David put the car in park, I looked to him. “you wanna walk me to my door?” 

“already on it.”

he came around and opened the car door for me and walked me up to my door. 

“thank you for tonight. it was like out of a movie. I really needed it.” I was talking softly now since it was the dead of the night and the only thing heard was the crickets. 

“anytime, y/n.” David also said softly. he kept looking to my lips which made my heart beat faster every time. I know I said I didn't need a guy, but he just looks too good. 

“and congrats on your show, I'm really proud of you.” I step closer. 

“thank you, congrats on staying single another night.” he joked but had his hands gently placed on my forearm. 

“its still early.” I whisper closer to his face now. I can feel his breath and he can feel mine. my heart is going a million beats a minute and the butterflies in my stomach are in a tornado.

“I can't write a song about you, but I can buy you more expensive burgers.”

I laugh leaning my head on his shoulder. “that's all a girl needs anyways.”

he laughs too but gently. I look up at him and his eyes are locked on mine. he places a hand on my cheek and then lower to my neck. I take a sharp breath in and connect our lips. his lips are soft, sweet, and gentle. I pull my arms up around his neck and deepen the kiss. I feel his hands slide down my back to just above my ass. I move my head to the side and open my mouth gently. he knows what to do and opens his mouth too. I feel his tongue dominate my mouth. he retracts and I close my mouth only to bite his bottom lip and then pull away. I let go and we put our foreheads together breathing heavily. 

“I could do that again.” he says.

“wanna come inside?” I whisper, my hands now playing with his hairs at the end of his neck.

“best party ever.” he laughs and I pull him inside. I don't know what im supposed to tell Charlie. the heart wants what it wants?

[bunnyriviere]

my god i cant get my head out of this mess so imma rant, then MAYBE i can focus on my assignment like damn babe i thought your passion is stats, why are you obsessing over a guy that doesnt care enough. huh? care about stats instead babe!!!!!! i just want to only have to care about maths but i know my life is ruined if i dont have relationships, so i try. but i must suck at it so bad if everything just ends in flame like this, im so tired im teary eyes.

im on my phone and honestly dont know how to do the uh line to cut short the post so if anybody unfortunately see this im sr :(

this is not even about a romantic relationship, i dont even know why i just couldnt like a person like that but damn fine. this is about a male friend i made in grade 11 i guess. i have never liked men. im afraid of them and dont want to have to interact with them ever. i know its bad and i should change but i just really want them away from me im sorry..... so i wasnt even friendly with him, but i was polite, i know how to be a decent person. he was friendly and nice and friends to all which only made me think aw geez just stop being friendly i know this is not because you like me. but i was eating the snack he brought to class anytime he brought it without much thought cause he offered i aint gonna say no. all the while still not consider him a friend. not until a friend said im not being nice if im eating his food while still not seeing him as a friend. and i have always feel bad about not being friendlier towards men in general and he made the 1st move which made it easier for me to just go along. so i did and thats how we became friends.

hes really nice and i mean it. i think really highly of him. maybe its just me having bad luck so i havent met many that are nice?? i really believe they are just myth tbh, im about to settle for that thought. and this guy is really how i wish is the standard for all men. hes just that good, i have no complain. i truly like him and glad that my friend said something cause otherwise we probably wouldnt be friends.

again no romantic feeling. i just have to, remind the invisible audiences of this post i guess.

now we all know covid. and because of it, i couldnt come home and wanted to lay in bed even more than normal. so i didnt push for it when he said he couldnt meet anybody in the summer because he didnt want to accidently give somebody it. just saying that cause this is a 2 ways road right, nothing is ever only his fault, its also mine. i want to rant about my feelings but i dont want to dismiss any mistakes i made yk. so we didnt meet up then.

christmas came and before then we were talking about christmas gift and i didnt wanna any so i didnt prepare anything also. this person is too nice and i dont want him to feel bad. but anw i just thought maybe we can still meet up even if its not for gift exchanging. but i didnt ask or anything at all cause well, hes from here, he has family and friends that are definitely closer to him, and he had work. i know hes busy and if he wanna hang out he know where to find me. i just dont want to accidentally add something more onto his list of to do. he would be too nice to say no. and we are not that close i dont want to add more work for him. i dont have relatives or friends here other than him so im free anytime if he wanted to meet up. but that didnt happen, i dont think we talked at all. which fine i hate to admit but i was hurt. ugh hate showing how vulnerable i am. yuck. yikes. -100/10.

i just didnt think about it? i didnt try to reach out either so that was my fault too but just, if he didnt care then i wont either. so i really didnt think about him anymore.

came reading week! it really was 1 year from the last time i saw him honestly. he asked to meet up and if i want to go somewhere and tbh no im in the countryside rn is that the corect word so there are no place to go. but i remembered this 2ndhand place i like to go sometimes and i hadnt gone in a while so why not. so we agreed on that. and i know he was probably just tired, and there are people who sigh a lot, its not uncommon. but not seeing him for a long while and knowing this is a place i suggested, him doing that really made me feel bad. i probably shouldnt, but couldnt get the thought that he was probably doing this just because hes friendly not because hes friend with me. it fucking sucked. when we got out and he dropped me back at my home i still felt so bad he didnt get to enjoy himself so i asked if we could watch jojo together. yeah he loves jojo. i dont really care for anime im so sr i prefer realing manga lmao sr.

now ok maybe im still being dumb, probably. but tldr i truly believe people can be friends and affectionate even when they are from opposite sex. it didnt work out so well cause i got molested lmao cause some other guy thought that was cool to do. so that honestly worsen my uh wariness of men. but like i said, i think ive said it, i trust this person. honestly i do, we hug a lot and i had never felt afraid of it. i believe he wont do anything. im just really comfortable around him. so we cuddled while watching anime, that had happened before im really sr if you think thats wrong, i still believe that could happen.

but maybe its because i was tense from thinking he really didnt enjoy hanging out with me that much. i kept connecting remembering what the molester did and while i just knew i swear i knew he wouldnt do anything like that, i couldnt get it out of my head. i felt bad for that but there were just 2 things that happened so similar to what happened with the molester. haizz he kinda laced our fingers together but it wasnt handholding, same thing happened once before with m-dude and it felt weird but i didnt want to question that friendship so i didnt. and at some point of jojo i kinda jumped and he held me back, not pulled me back or anything but was holding me in place, and it was probably to make me feel safe but honestly if anybody even use a little bit of force i will just think of when i finally got the courage to turn around to confront the other dude for touching me, he held me back and i couldnt move at all. i think i froze a bit.

argh back to the main story. see how i totally suck? hahaha just blaming this friend for something somebody else did. im so sorry, i suck.

well after that we picked up talking again but idk! was it me overthinking? was it? because it felt like he didnt want to talk to me at all. it was, how to say it. he was friendly yes he talked hmm. damn how-- it felt like he didnt care for what i said. its a feeling idk how to put into words. and that sucks. he didnt seem interested in me before, felt happy enough when we cuddled, then back to being uninterested. i knew i know he doesnt want me romantically. damnit am i only good now for hugs. are we friends? what i meant is not sex but am i only good for physical stuff? i dont fucking know, the m-dude obviously just want a fwb and i was to trusting to notice. is this my gut feeling or my anxiety idk!

another side story. another guy suddenly expressed interested in me right when covid hit but it was because he couldnt get over his ex so i stopped talking to him for a while and picked it back up when i thought he was no longer idk being annoying about it. i thought he had to at least like me as a person to even express he liked me romantically. but apparently not. he looked so uniterested suddenly and denied when i asked, then stopped reading my texts.

so you see. i just cant if haiz ok do- do anybody like me? just as a person? idk.

god i knew i fucking suck for being so sensitive and anxious and im sr for wanting stuff but maybe i want you to look like you care a bit when i said you are reminding me of the m-dude, instead of saying ok we can talk less then. i already felt like you dont want to talk to me, you dont have to say that...

officially crying heyho.

just saying no you dont dont like talking to me when your actions were saying the opposite is not cutting it either... i also thought highly of the covid confession guy too but what happened now. im sorry for comparing you to others! but i learn from experiences... and this was sus... (yah its a joke i cant help it.)

and if i just agreed and stopped talking to him right it just, felt like a confirmation that yeah its true hes just letting me hug him not because im his friend and he knows i like hugs so he lets me. but its more like its convenient that a girl is hugging him so he wont say no. something like that. that sucks. thats all im good for. if i were his friend, it would include the talking too.

ah!! i know we are not close, we are both casual friend. he is definitely not on my top list to tell stuff to but damn i still like him enough to hurt. and to not asking for too much.

so anw i kept talking with the anxiety that never got solved and that made me frustrated and i picked at his insecurity to made him hate me enough to stop talking to me cause i couldnt bring myself to stop, id feel so bad. this is really toxic and i admit this is not the first time ive done it, to a different person but its the same thing.

hahaha act like i hate him while just want him to see how i feel so bad. yeah im a tsundere.

it worked so i stopped talking to him for a week and focused on talking to my other friends. friends i know without a doubt love me and want me because i really didnt feel that with him at all. sorry i know you were tired with covid.

that made me felt better and i was not in panic mode anymore, i can calmly assess things now. and before, i felt bad because i truly believed i was just seeing things, i couldnt see pass my anxiety and was blaming him for what, nothing. he did want to talk to me. but my mind was clearer after that one week and yeah i cant really make more excuses? yes i was sensitive and made things worse, but there must be something for me to pick up first. it didnt just come out of thin air.

so i sent him some texts saying that, because just leaving without a word is bad communication. i have to tell him and at least give him a chance to change i guess? did he need change? im doubting myself.

i- hm he just said yeah his look and way of talking really make him look like hes tired and uninterested, and laughed at my marie kondo joke. you know the one. idk! all i saw in that was yeah thats how it is, accept it. and i-- i, cant? i dont want to... i dont want to :(

but my mindset for just about anything is value the process, not the result, like as long as you put work in! thats great! and he- he was, talking... he put work in..... i would feel so bad to deny it. but at the same time, it was not enough... i hate! to say you need to do at least this and that! but it didnt feel like enough..... im sorry :(((( i am.

ive talked about my tendency to lash out. last time i didnt want it but i had to get away quick so i didnt mean it but i still did it. but this time i was truly angry. because i just wished there was more care for me but i know that was all there was, and i couldnt do anything about it. couldnt even ignore him. he was even drier then, and i got it, i lashed out at him, ofc he wasnt going to be friendly. but just why were you trying so hard... no, no it was not trying hard, you were answering texts at the speed of once every 2 days. why were you answering at all? you clearly didnt want to. but again so was i. did i really have a say.

so i sent angry texts at him. about how fake his friendliness was, did he really consider me friend, why did he keep saying no it was not that he was uninterested while it was obvious that he was. also that i want to fight him. i really do want to. hopefully he will beat me up hard enough that i can be in a coma and die in 9 months idk. (listen 9 months is enough time to make a new human, if im not awake by then, you need to let me go, thats my wish.)

he said that no he doesnt like to fight and thats the last text i got from him.

because ofc i dont hate him him, the whole him idk what im saying. just angry and hate that hes not matching me on how we value this relationship i guess. not besties like how he likes to joke, but eh, was hoping more than what i was sensing. i still sent a text being like ok fine do you still want to talk and if so how do you want me to do. but he didnt answer it in time so i decided for him that nah we wont talk anymore.

heyho i was sad, i am sad. and ok hear me out, HEAR ME, i dont use tarot for future but just for my feelings and how to deal with them, and my deck said ok babe this is the end, you will have to move on now. so i will.

tbh lmao for every relationships that i emotionally invested in. i always make an essay on my feelings because thats how i conclude things, and so i wont forget that my feelings are legit. so the moment i started this post, hes dead to me i guess.

wow this post is long. but i did really like him so.

im moving to uni city next month but i know he will leave in the summer so i wont have to worry about seeing him then. and probably not further in the future either, we go to different uni and are quite far away and our common are not gonna question things i dont think. dont think they would even notice, we are not in a group or anything. and even if i do end up meeting him. my feelings while was anger, but it stemmed from sadness and disappointment so it wouldnt be too bad. on the other hand... m-dude..... i am afraid of meeting you, lets please please please not meet damnit.

[nad-zeta]

Match up! (◠‿◠✿)

hiya!! can i pls get a matchup for ikesen, if its ok? 💞

bi girl i prefer guys! ambiverted intp, gryffindor, n true neutral. i have an older twin sis n i love/hate her sm lmao!!

i have medium-length straight-ish black hair (w/ a side bang to the right) & dark brown eyes!! im 5'5-ish, fun fact: im a filipina!

sooo im a complex daydreamer!! i NEED attention/affirmation or ill feel unwanted/sad. emotional scorpio, im quite sensitive. anxiety, i overthink too much! quiet w/ people im not close w/. easily annoyed but guilty after ‘cause im soft-hearted. im like half funny/playful/kind & half deep/mature/awkward- hopeless romantic! i have a way w/ words, sorta poetic? i wanna be the best! sorta socially anxious, i have a fear of judgement. im not innocent but ppl think i am at first. i look fine but deep down im a big mess. rlly smart & knowledgable. vv passionate, big nerd actually! im like a kid w/ my twin but w/ others im more mature. im the type to do fun stuff and loosen up but would also just cuddle and have long convos. im vv good w/ technology! very imaginative, i come up with stories a lot- around others im very quiet because i literally have no idea what to say. actually a big history fanatic, hehe. i act confident but im not rlly, actually vv insecure and i regret a lot of things.

a habit of mine is that i tend to drift away and just… think? i also tend to care a lot abt my appearance! i get competative but there are also times when im just chill. i get vv embarrassed when i lose control tho n i regret it sm :(( i have loads of trouble asking for help even if i like to help others a lot! i like being organised but i tend to be… chaotic.

hsjsh- fun fact: there are times where im just,, super hyper n say the weirdest things? im good in school but,, im lazy yknow- i love math (surprisingly, i got a natural talent?), science (esp abt stars n space), history, and english (actually my 2nd languange but im very fluent) the most. bilingual but im also learnin french! wanna learn latin too tho but id break down- i have the fear of the unknown, failure, n loneliness! im scared of the future cause its beyond human ability to know,, the only guys ive rlly talked to r family members so my awkwardness goes 100x hsjsjs

oh, i rlly love affection, but i need a lot of space too, tho! girls gotta have privacy- games r a hUge part of my life, so is technology and the modern era! i actually like sports too- not very good at em tho :((

some likes: gaming, jokes (esp corny/stupid/puns), space, stars, weapons (esp swords/guns), philosophy, psychology, testing myself, affection, animals, doing exhilirating things, music, movies, books, writing, astrology, astronomy, learning new things, & mythology.

some dislikes: too much heat, school presentations, creepy dolls, being under pressure, dirty things, blind faith, & annoying people.

tysm! omg i hope this isnt too long- i think this is too long?? yIkes i hope that this is ok!! love ur writing btw! stay safe 💞

Hi hi love! thank you so much for the request! You sound like a wonderful person and omw it soooo cool that you have a twin! I actually think she sent in a request right after you did lol! Anyways sorry for making you wait sooooo long and i hope you enjoy it! @x-joie-x

 So i match you with...................... Mitsuhide

The first time you meet this sneki boy, you were quiet and reserved. War council had just ended and you were named as a princess of the Oda forces. You were super socially awkward, and anxiety was slowly starting to creep in, as the curious warlords started to surround you. It wasn’t until Mitsuhide had pulled you away in a teasing manner to save you from the crowd that you finally started to calm down. He had noticed this new little mouse had been on edge since arriving. However, he didn’t suspect you of being an assassin or spy as, during the whole council, your hands shook, and you could barely speak up against Nobunaga’s demanding and commanding tones. 

Mitsuhide had found you incredibly amusing from the first moment you walked in, you caught this foxes eye. He didn’t know if it was the innocence or naïve purity that just seemed to radiate from you, but for some reason when he was looking at you, he found that he simply couldn’t look away.

It took all of one day for all the warlords to officially drop all suspicions of you. You were just such a sweetheart how could they not instantly love you and feel the need to protect you. You had started helping a few of the maids that first morning after you were named princess. You didn’t want to be a freeloader, so you worked hard to earn your keep and soon, the maids were fighting over who would get to work with you cause all of then just loved and adored you so much. 

You got annoyed with Hideyoshi when he first found you helping the maids, as he was 100% started micromanaging you. You lost you cool and raised your voice at him, TBH Hideyoshi didn’t think anything of it, but it wasn’t until you had pitched up at his manor an hour later to apologize for being so rude to him that he realized what a sweet and sensitive person you truly were. Of course from that moment onward you had gained yourself a big doting brother.

All the Oda forces agreed that you were too sweet and naïve for your own good, so Mitsuhude was assigned to give you princess lesson to prepare you for your new life as Oda princess. You were super excited when Mitsuhide had told you that he was going to teach you a variety topics such as economics, politics, history and self-defence. You even managed to impress the sneki boy, by getting all the questions correct on the first test he had handed you. You had found that first test incredibly easy as you were a bit of a history buff, and all the questions had been based on Nobunaga’s history. This low key shook the sliver kitsune a little bit, as this proved that not only were you pure and naive but you were also super smart. You kind of reminded him a little bit of Mitsunari, a cleaver professor with their head in the clouds. 

Mitushide praised you for your ability to pick up on concepts quickly and work diligently as a student, “I dare say little one, you are the best student a teacher could ask for.” You spend masses amount of time with sneki boi, and through that time you realized just how sweet Mitsuhide truly was, although he was a massive tease leaving you a blushy mess almost every day after lessons with his teasing comments. And naturally, the more time Mitsuhide had spent with you, the more in love he fell. It was also noted by the fellow warlords that, Mitsuhide always wore a soft gentle expression when it came to you, and in your experience he had been a kind gentle patient teacher. SO naturally you found yourself more and more drawn to this mysterious man.

Through all the time spent with the kitsune, you found yourself opening up more and more. He was one of the few people that got to see your playful side. You now would make the puniest, corniest jokes he has ever heard, leaving this kitsune in a fit of laughter mid-way through a lecture. Not only that, but he loved loved loved your competitiveness side. 

This side of you slowly started to surface after the 3rd or 4th self-defence lesson when you started challenging the kitsune to rematches whenever he would pin you down, ultimately beating you in your little makeshift sword fight. Boy oh boy, don’t even get me started on the shooting lessons, once you were able to fire the rifle, you were straight-up challenging this boy, the best marksmen around to a shoot-off. “Come on Mitsuhide, the first one to get 100 bulls-eyes in a row wins, and the loser has to buy tea.” Needless to say, you always lost and even though every day you would make that exact bet, Mitsuhide would always insist on sticking you for tea and lunch as reward for being such a good student. 

He really enjoyed spending time with you and would absolutely insist on holding your hands whenever the two of you were on your way to the tea house together after your lessons. “I can’t have my clumsy little mouse tripping and falling now can I.” Every day without fail, he would say that to you as he wraps his big hand around your small one, while leading you to your favourite tea house.

The two of you would talk about everything and anything over tea, these topics ranged from you making stupid jokes, to talking about random topics such as philosophy and psychology. Either way, Mitsuhide loved to spend time with you. He would always listen to and hang on to every word you said, storing every word in his memory. 

You were his precious little mouse, and he knew you were an extremely sensitive creature. If anyone dared say a single bad word to you or make you sad, they would face the wrath of this very protective kitsune. Like one time, one of the visiting daimyos had talked down to you for accidentally bumped into him. You were busy cleaning the windows when you accidentally lost your balance and bumped into him. He was so disgusted that a mere maid had touched him. He started yelling at you and insulting you, this escalated to such a point that he even had his hand raised ready to hit you for getting dirty window water on his shoes. That’s when sneki boi decided to intervene. Mitsuhide legit stood protectively in front of you with his rifle pointed at the man’s heart, with the full intention to shoot. “Golly me it appears like you are quite the troublesome little mouse, my dear.” He then turned his sharp gaze towards the daimyo “I do suggest you apologize to the Oda princess, lest you want to answer for your crimes directly to Nobunaga.” The man simply scoffed and walked away. Mitsuhide then turned to you and enveloped you in a warm hug while kissing the top of your head, “Are you alright, my dear little mouse?” Mitsuhide looked into your beautiful eyes and gently took your hands in his, “Come little one, I have something I wish to show you.”

The two of you walked hand in hand to Mitsuhide’s manor, Mitsuhide led you out into his garden, where you saw something so beautiful you could cry. The garden was filled with flowers and candles and in the centre was a table set up, with a feast laid out op top of it. 

Mitsihide had told you that night that he was hopelessly in love with you. He was overjoyed when he had discovered that you like him, was also a hopeless romantic and that you had an incredibly poetic, romantic way with words. You handed him a letter in which you had expressed your feelings for him in the form of a beautifully written poem. You were actually intending to leave the poem on his desk as a way of confessing your feelings. This instantly melted sneki bois heart into a giant puddle and he couldn’t help but pull you in for a sweet kiss. 

After diner Mitsuhide had led you deeper into the garden where a fluffy blankie was sprawled out on the grass, he guided you to sit down and the motioned for you to lookup. Above you, a thousand stares were shooting across the sky in a big meteor shower. Mitsuhide pulled you into his arms and kissed your cheeks as the two of you watched the sky. He always remembered every detail you had told him about yourself, so when you revealed that you loved the sky and the stars, he knew he had to incorporate this rare meteor shower in your date somehow. 

This had sparked a new tradition between the two of you, to stargaze and spend the whole night in deep conversation. These nights were full of love and affection as Mitsuhide would pull you into his lap and just hold you there for hours and hours as the two of you talked and watched the sky

Of course sneki boi also had a bit of a spontaneous side, and would take you on exhilarating trips around Nobunaga’s territories. They were mostly missions but after you had nagged Nobunaga to give you permission to go along on the missions, you and Mitsuhide would finish the official work asap so that the two of you cuties had plenty of time to enjoy yourself in the new environment.

Mitsuhide loves everything about you from your slight messiness, to your love of learning new things. He also knows that his sweet little mouse sometimes needs some space and alone time and will be sure to give you as much alone time as you need to recharge. He knows that you will seek him out when you have had enough of your own company. He will always welcome you back with outstretched arms when you have had enough alone time, and shower you with endless amounts of affection.

Whenever you are feeling insecure or worrying about the future Mitsuhide is right there by your side, whispering words of affection and reassurance in your ears. He makes sure to remind you every day just how perfect you are and just how much he loves you. 

Often you can be found in sneki boys lap with your head resting comfortably in the crook of his neck as he soothingly strokes your hair. Don’t be surprised if this sneaky kitsune drops a few kissed on your nose, cheeks or lips during these quiet and peaceful moments, just as a way to convey how much he loves and adores you.

Other potential matches……………..Masamune 

I hope you enjoyed it dear and i hope you have the best day! 

[minimenace]

Felix live thoughts:

i still don’t get why gabriel, who is known to wear his ring, is polishing both his and emilie’s rings

nathalie smiling at gabe aww

WAIT DOES ADRIEN SHIP NATHALIE AND GABE???

WAVE WAVE

its been a year???

cat song from chat blanc

sitting together, bonding time??

gabriel: i need to tell adrien im hawk moth and its for the greater good - the greatest good id ever get - emilie’s ass

adrien: oh dad i know

gabe: wHAT??

adrien: yeah...you and nathalie  👀 im cool

gabe: YOU FUCKER DONT DISGRACE YOUR MOTHER LIKE THAT

not that adrien knows his mom is even alive smh

gabe, you can’t expect your son to be all hopeful when there’s nothing he knows of to be hopeful for

gabe: bitch get ready cousin you is coming

1 year since emilie ‘went for cigarettes’

adrien: healing  😌

gabe: 

marinette’s first act as class president: class meeting!!!! (plus luka and kagami) we need to cure adrien of his depression

adrien is hallucinating his mom isn’t he

wait it’s his mom’s twin isn’t it

IT IS

amelie and emilie huh

gabe is not “NO get out”

grouch kitten time!!!

felix getting hugged: bitch...fine ok

so felix and adrien’s favorite game as kids was Parent Confusion huh

gabe: how dare you shake my hand

felix: how dare you not shake my hand

so gabemilie wedding rings were from her family

emilie’s maiden name was NOT agreste...bitch no im DYING with this headcanon

felix whats to know what the FUCK is up with kyle gabriel

marinette...no...do not tell your crush you’re in love with him when you’re trying to console him about his missing mom

ok slightly better

bitch you’re still recording

is this gonna be another copycat where marinette tries to get the phone to delete the message

wait this is LITERALLY another copycat

YES TIKKI GET ANGRY

“I’m really sorry I didn’t come to your dad’s funeral” OH BITCH NOW I GET WHY HE HATES YOU

explains why they’re wearing black

felix with bryce’s voice hits bad

he needs kousei arima...max mittelman...pLAGG

“you do everything your dad tells you to” “oh well yeah you know”

do do do do-dUUHN

adrien and felix used to challenge each other in chess...nerds

plagg: “you’re cousin is being sus BUT HE TOUCHED MY CHEESE THAT UNFORGIVABLE”

plagg: *points out adrien’s mother is* adrien: *gets sad* plagg: oh baby fuck im so sorry

felix i know adrien is complete dumbass but you cannot call him an idiot!!!

wait is felix gonna find out marinette is ladybug because she was recording for so long

wAIT IS FELIX GONNA TRY TO SET UP MARINETTE AND ADRIEN BY DRESSING UP AS ADRIEN AND SEDUCING LADYBUG SINCE MARINETTE IS SUPPOSEDLY LADYBUG

probably not lol

felix fuck you im the only one allowed to make fun of nino’s dudebro accent

felix bby youre not building a good case for yourself by making fun of my babies

also bryce is trying to do a lower voice and he just sounds dudebro

wait is felix gonna rip chloe a new one

YES felix and chloe knew each other

the one time chloe is being genuinely nice for no discernable reason and felix is like “fucker”

well with the season finale we know it doesn’t matter

...annoyinG

FUCK

marinette time bitch lets see what happens im scared

ok thats mean

the writers are trying very hard to make me hate felix but joke’s on them, i’ll never hate anyone on this show

no joke i used to hate theo and call him a pedo and now i’m like “aww poor baby”

wait where is theo i havent seen him around

ok he deleted the videos so immmmmmmmmm hmmm

felix getting ready to cause havoc

ok luka is kind of a joke

*strums guitar* im supportive. this is my personality.

i cant really be mad about felix sending that mean message but adrien deserves to be a feral kitty

fel-ien: i renounce all my friends y’alllll SUCK

me: ...

calls out chloe specifically: NO THATS MEAN but true

marinette: there’s no way adrien can be mean he’s an absolute...aNGEL (how does that meme go)

i mean she has a point because he’d never call chloe out like tHAT

lila spying for gabe seems to be a good thing but im concerned about what gabe will be doing with this video

oh ok they knew it was felix

nathalie: so uh...sir...now’s a good time to um...akumatize some vulnerable kids...

gabe: ok amelie lets see how you feel about THIS akuma attack

gabe getting people to go chase down your “son” is still going to inevitably hurt your son

im fairly certain that max and kim know marinette is ladybug at this point 

*announcer voice* and in the confusion, reflekta, lady wifi, and princess fragrance were deakumatized because they couldn’t figure out who to be mad at

WHICH ONE OF YOU IS THE FAKE ADRIEN they all shout. “idk what do you think” says adrien 1 to adrien 2

adrien: *starts acting all mean*

punishers: IT MUST BE HIM

nathalie: STOP IT ADRIEN

punishers: wait who

adrien: muwahauwah i wonder who I could BE AJAHAHAHA

felix: bro why the fuck are you covering for me

nathalie get your grove on

hawkie: bitches Y’ALL THAT FUCK ASS IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU

felix: ha...no?

felix: oh well...KONO FELIX DA- LET’S FIGHT

istg if felix has his own miraculous

ladybug saves fel-ien

fel-ien: i love you

activates “smooch”

marinette: *has flashbacks to spook-drien* uhhh no

felix you’re being very menacing about this kiss

ok... i feel like marinette going “NO MEANS FUCKING NO” is a brownie points moment just the entire structure of the scene...also she has no reason to suspect adrien is not adrien, so the punching is just...intensely weird to me

this also feels like astruc trying to be like “FELIX IS THE OPPOSITE OF ADRIEN WHO IS A PERFECT GENTLEMAN AND RESPECTS WOMEN AND THEIR BOUNDARIES” when like um i dunno, adrien ALSO tries to kiss women (ladybug) without their consent but those moments are always treated as comedy so you’re not being very slick with this scene

side note; idk why when a male morally dark end character gets into a fight or something with a girl very one goes “THAT’S SEXIST”, like basically what you’re saying is “you can’t hit girls” which in itself IS sexist. everyone can be punched. don’t fucking hold back.

side note; you shouldn’t punch ANYONE

“You’re not Adrien, he would never be so pushy!” *looks at chat noir* uhhh....

i mean good deduction skills tho? i still think it’s pretty hastily and badly written

adrien is fucking OUTING his cousin lmao

i feel like there was pre-existing tension

felix: is actually ashamed for once

FELIX VISION

lb: great!!! now break the tablet felix: bitch this is some good fucking money i aint breaking it

felix and lila are the moth gang

hawk moth: why felix: uncle give me your fucking jewelry

felix: manipulate the situation...and profit

that has got to be the GREATEST defeat ever...truly lucky

felix looks like he thinks that he’s going to jail

adrien: dude wtf amelie: ...his dad- felix: no dude that was pretty fucked up, ill own up to it

“i hope to become a better person and see you again soon!” this was one concentrated bad incident but yeah ok

FELIX GOING FOR THE HUG

the tone is making me think this is supposed to be inauthentic and he doesn’t mean it but im hoping this isn’t the case.

but if it is genuine, it sounds like there’s a tacked on “learn to be better- from you” which like, yeah adrien is better than felix we get it but you don’t need to emphasis adrien as a model dude when he’s like tier 1 good guy. he’s decent. lmao.

wait felix has always been wearing a ring i didn’t notice

awww felix and gabriel made up.

wait

what even happened between them to begin with.

huh

adrien: aw sHIT CUZ WAIT gabe: nO DAVIC

adrien: if you need to talk in here felix: thanks

astruc: see he’s morally superior

did felix just gift adrien some expensive cheese lmao

felix: hey i feel bad, i replaced your cheese

adrien : *records message to thank everyone and says “i love you”* marinette: *obsessively plays back the “i love you”*

marinette: ill take what i can get

FELIX DID YOU UST FUCKING STEAL THIS MAN’S WEDDING RING I MEAN I KNOW HES MORALLY QUESTIONABLE IF NOT DESPICABLE BUT YOU’RE NOT MUCH BETTER YOU KNOW

so felix really is a magician huh

i feel like him and jean duparc would get along

oh so there’s history behind the rings?

“where it belongs” everyone hates gabe huh. wuh happened

gabe why are you taking your wife’s ring

it’s like he needs that thing to function

the ring: why you so obsessed with me

is it like an anti-nathalie charm or something

gabe: bitch get it together yOU’RE MARRIED, YOU’RE WIFE IS DOWNSTAIRS

the beef is, probably like all things, related to the miraculous

HAPPY END OF THE SEASON!!!!!!

[driftinghereandthere]

BUKU RANT AHEAD

Okay so Chaitlin and I went to Buku this year with the hope of it being an incredible experience, but it was fucking wack. First of all, the people in NOLA are fucking  r u d e. I have never experienced such dirty stares or loud shit talking in my entire life, and it didn’t get much better once inside the festival. I’m not a ~rave queen~ by any means, but what I do love about going to festivals is the overwhelming amount of loving energy that courses through the air. That was NOT the case for Buku. There was such an angry and aggressive energy permeating the entire place that Chaitlin and I couldn’t even find one little sanctuary of our own. No one smiles when they look at you, they aggressively try to cut in front of you, and they were all so focused on themselves! Out of all the people I met, only one was a decent human being and we didn’t say more than two words to each other. At one point, a man was butt ass naked getting a shot in his ass because he was practically DEAD and the people trying to walk around the scene were breaking out into a fight because they didn’t want to follow the security’s orders!

Now the first day wasn’t as bad as the second, in my opinion, but they had most of the top artists sets stacked right on top of each other (on opposite sides of the venue of course) so we were rushing to see bits and pieces of people we love. We missed Spag Heddy because the parking situation was wack (they said it was free, but it was $20 so we ended up driving around NOLA to find free street parking), and luckily we got to hear Ganja White Night + Boogie T but only because we were in this BULLSHIT water line that was right outside of that stage. Sidenote, we stood in that water line for the entirety of Ganja White Night’s set because the water was trickling out so slow and the girls next to us were trying to shove their way past us. At this point, I’ve popped like two points of molly so all I want to do is vibe peacefully. We made it to MGMT (which was fun but we only stayed for a couple songs because their music got a little weird) and then we hauled ass to go see SNAILS. That was the best time I had at Buku because SNAILS always comes through with the beat drops and the vibe, but we had to leave 30/40 minutes in because SZA was on at the other side of the festival and I was NOT going to miss that angel. So we get to SZA and I am having the time of my life. I’m rollie, she’s angelic, and I got to hear my favorite song. But BOOM, out of nowhere the stage is black and she is MIA 15 minutes before her time is up. What happened, you ask? She fucking fell off the stage and sprained her ankle. You can’t tell me that was a coincidence because she had the most loving energy radiating off of her and I swear to god Buku just fucked it up because after that happened things really started going downhill. One news article even joked that the stage she was on might be cursed and I wouldn’t doubt it. So SZA has to leave early and now we still have an hour until Migos. Well, like the trash they are, Migos ends up being 45 MINUTES LATE. I’ve seen them once before and the pulled the same shit, but their performance made up for it. Not this time though. They didn’t apologize for the delay, they mumbled their lyrics, and they only played 30 second previews of each song!!!!! I’m not making this up!!!!! People were fucking p i s s e d (well I know some were, but there were a lot of sorority/frat people who were like “oh my gooooooddd Migos was soooo gooooood”). Not to mention, they didn’t even play Bricks which was the whole reason we even sat through that trash set. So day one is coming to a close, but there was still Virtual Self and Flatbush Zombies. Well as we’re trying to get to that side of the venue, security has to close down the walkway for a good 35 minutes because a train was on its way through! I’m sure you can imagine everyone’s piss poor attitude during that hold-up. But we finally make it and long story short, Virtual Self was not our cup of tea, and Flatbush Zombies took 15 minutes longer to come on than expected so we just dipped because neither of us could be surrounded by those people and that energy any longer. 

So now it’s day two. We’re thinking, “hey, maybe it’ll be less people because most of the really hot artists were day one.” Wrong. It was twice, if not three times as packed and people were even RUDER.  We missed Noname because of more parking bullshit, and the next person we wanted to see didn’t come on for another four hours. The good part about day two is that we actually had time to look around at all of the little intricacies and we ended up buying cute rings and some food. Doing so though, we missed Illenium (who I wasn’t even trying to see, but watching footage afterward I wish we had seen them because they sounded good as hell). At around seven we end up finding our way to Emo Nite LA with the hopes of getting lit to some throwbacks, but it was just “eh.” I mean, they played some bops for sure, but they were literally just a group of 19/20 something year old fuck boys who take pride in not being dj’s and just pressing random buttons. Every song they played had annoying air horn and dolphin sounds playing over them. Not to mention, the people at that set were flailing their limbs around and just jumping up and down. Actually, it wasn’t just at that set, but the whole festival itself. Chaitlin and I are headbangers, but we can get wavy to some other stuff for sure, and then there are typically people who shuffle or do light shows. This place didn’t have any of that. It’s like all of the people there didn’t know how to dance, couldn’t find the beat, and they were doing this weird jump/lunge move while swinging their arms??? And no one could do a proper light show!!!!!!!!!!!! We had three different people with gloves offer to give us a show and they were all  t r a s h. Anyway, the time finally comes for Borgore, the daddy of filth if you will, and we LOVE Borgore because he gets dirty with his beats and his adlibs are fire. So we get in there and it’s packed as all hell, but he starts off with some good shit. However, the people standing next to and in front of us were all doing that body flailing shit! And they didn’t know any of his songs! So Chaitlin and I are sweating balls, people are blindly running into us, and we’re barely even rolling because we were so uncomfortable. And to make matters worse, Borgore pulled some snake ass shit and started playing BULLSHIT tracks I’ve never heard him perform before. Out of nowhere he starts playing uppity, jumpy, house tracks and the crowd fucking ate it up. The look of horror that spread across our faces was priceless and we ended up sitting down during his set because we just couldn’t do it. (It should be noted that while I’m not a lover of house, I can fuck it up on occasion but we were so excited to hear his usual shit and desperately needed to headbang out all of the anxiety we’ve been feeling the past two days). We ended up getting pretty close to the exit because we were fucking over it, but luckily he switched back to his trap/dubstep ways. Interestingly enough, the majority of the crowd bailed when he switched back and people that were coming in were asking if this was Borgore. Not to sound snobby, but how do you not know who Borgore if you’re at Buku? It’s like everyone was there to just say they were there, you know? We have this theory that the artists were told to play certain things because that’s what the crowd wanted. Borgore didn’t even do adlibs! He was silent through his whole set! Which is so unlike him because he is usually interacting with the crowd and constantly asking to see some titties lmao. After a very disappointing Borgore performance, we made our way to Bassnecter. We decided to avoid the giant crowd and chill in the grass under some pretty light structures, but boy was that a huge mistake. At this point, we’re on five points and can barely feel anything because the music and the people have been trash. But we get settled, Bassnectar is killing it, and the roll starts hitting. Well, we notice these girls smiling at us so of course I’m like, “Oh my god, hi!” because that was the first time in two days that someone actually smiled in our direction and I’m feeling lovey dovey rollie. So we go and sit next to them and that was the worst mistake we could have made. 

The main girl was the biggest narcissist I’ve ever met and wouldn’t stop talking about herself and probing us to ask her questions. She lured us in by complimenting us, but as we sat with her the compliments began to sound so ingenuine and she wasn’t listening to anything we had to say. Her friends were just as bad too, one of them was in there with a fake ID and the other one was so fucked up that she was talking over everyone and couldn’t stay steady in one place. However, we did find out through them that apparently, Lil Uzi didn’t even show up for his set! (Neither did Dex or Ski Mask the Slump God). For some reason though, we didn’t leave and just tried to keep it chill. I made the mistake of offering them a hit off my dab pen because next thing you know it’s getting passed around to who knows who and people are taking multiple fucking rips off of it. One girl needed a sip of water and next thing you know our water mug is empty. That continued to happen with the gum and lotion we brought as well (and later we put it together that they stole our pack of cigarettes). So by now, we’ve stopped rolling once again because this bitch is yapping about herself during Bassnectar’s set, my dab pen is empty, and we start getting antsy. We finally decided to just get the fuck out of there and go see Little Dragon. Now I’ve only really heard Little Dragon as a feature on other people’s songs, but I like her voice and from what I understood she had a wavy vibe. Nope. We couldn’t even sit through more than two songs because she didn’t say one word and she was playing trancy music! We bailed on that and made our way to Rezz, who went hard on the first song, but the rest was just more of that jumpy bullshit, and the crowd was horrendous. People were flailing and screaming all over the place and getting out was like something out of a nightmare. The people in the crowd looked so dead in the eyes and none of them moved out of the way, but instead stared us down as we were leaving. Rezz’s debut album is called Mass Manipulation and I swear to god it felt like that entire crowd was a group of angry, brainwashed zombies. Fitting, huh? At this point, the molly isn’t even working and we both start having lowkey anxiety attacks, but Isaiah Rashad is closing the festival and I’m a fan of his stuff so we head over there. Pfffffffff, first off, he’s a talker. He just talked, talked, talked, and took forever to actually play something. And when he did, it was terrible! His voice was overpowering the beat, and it was so heavy and rough. It sounded nothing like his recorded songs. We decided to just call it quits and head the fuck home because the anxiety was getting out of control.

So basically, my review is a 3/10. The concept was great but the execution was horrible. The crowd consisted of so many rich kids all wearing the same, overpriced “I Heart Raves” outfits or Hawaiian shirts, and everyone was so wrapped up in themselves. At one point, this guy next to us snapped at his girlfriend and was like, “the whole point of being here is to experience it, not take it” because all she was doing was getting her friends to take pics of her while artists were performing. The people were literally Energy Vampires. So many people came up to us asking if we had molly, and I’m convinced that the group of awful girls could sense our nurturing energy because they literally sucked us dry. I’ve never been to a festival where people at the back of the water line started arguing with the front because they think they deserve water first. I’ve never been to a festival where everyone is shoulder checking you, looking down on you, stealing shit from you, or bragging about their handmade, artisan, face jewels they bought for $30. It was a fake woke, commercial bullshit, evil energy environment that I don’t care to go back to. Thanks, but no thanks Buku. 

[5hineesback]

feel korea fanacc 2017 (exid biased)

this is going to be a very detailed fanacc of the full day, including the bad events which took place before the concert

first off let me say that kpop fans are honestly such lovely people. i came across a few bad eggs during the day but overall everyone was amazing. i arrived earlier than my friend and i made friends so quickly with the people who were in front of me in the queue, and i ended up spending the whole concert with them

secondly let me say that the organisation of this concert was an absolute joke, specifically the queueing. it was terrible, the worst organisation i’ve seen in a long time. they originally had one queue for everything, then created a ‘concert’ queue and made people move, then when the daytime event queue had died down we got moved back to where we originally were - except there was no guidance. everyone just ran for it. people at the front ended up at the back and people who’d just arrived got to the front. there was also a severe problem of people pushing in at the front - there was no barrier to block it and when we complained the security didn’t even try to do anything about it. 

i got to the venue at around 12:15, joined the only queue there was, was then moved to the ‘concert’ queue at around 12:45, was very near the front and managed to stay in basically the same place when we got moved back to our original line. then waited for about 6 hours, filled with events such as, as ive mentioned, people pushing in at the front and pretending they were there the whole time, the barrier being widened to such a degree at the front that there was no order at all

then came the worse part. we were lining up around the back of the building, and they wanted to move us to the front doors. so they stood back, and told us to go. everyone ran, again. i got pushed into walls and an open door, girls were falling over or hurting themselves on the barriers as everyone tried to get through. we had been asking them throughout the day how they were planning to get us in - we suggested sending us in groups of 10 or 20, or just making sure we all got to the doors one at a time. instead there was hundreds of people running to the doors, filling up the street because there was no barrier there to meet us. again, i managed to keep my place, pretty much, but a lot of people lost theirs, including girls at the front who had been there since 6am to queue. then despite the street being full of fans, they then told us to get in single file. which was fucking stupid because it wasnt possible. not unless they moved everyone forward enough, past the doors, to make enough room to move everyone against the wall, or move people backwards from the back of the queue, which literally went around the whole block. we eventually got in by them just giving up and letting us in one at a time with as little pushing as possible

but anyway, thats enough of that, although i will be complaining officially online lmao

okay the actual concert. by some miracle, i just got to the barrier, i got the last space. but myself and a couple of girls to my left were in the worst place to be at the barrier - in front of us was a camera man officially recording for the tv screen above, so during the concert idols would often be blocked by the camera which will be shown in my exid fancams lmao. but hey, i was at the barrier, i can’t complain. the distance from the barrier to the stage was about 10 feet i think, it was pretty large tbh so im rly glad i got to be there. we also got given water by very nice security thank u security

they were showing mvs for about an hour while we waited. if you were there, the first scream @ jeonghwa’s appearance in any mv was always me jsyk dklfjhdskj

when the concert started, there was a taekwondo performance which was a m a z i n g, they were breaking wood with their feet and at one point i was scared the broken wood would hit me lmao

after that, hani came on mc’ing, along with two other guys who i don’t know. the moment she appeared i Died. she was wearing such a pretty white dress, shes so angelic and cute and beautiful. she came out to mc after every performance, except it was just the guys when exid was about to perform. she spoke about going to see the disadvantaged kids yesterday and one of the guys was like “hanis not just beautiful, she has a beautiful heart” and hani said “the most beautiful is everyone here!” jdksa shes honestly a Dream

knk was first to perform, then snuper, then exid, then highlight. i’m not gonna pretend i was really there to see anyone but exid, because i wasn’t. but i did hearts to all the idols and i really enjoyed all their performances. knk sang knock first which is the only song i like by them so to hear it was so great. they’re such good dancers and they’re all very pretty

after knk, hani and the guys introduced a “special performance because london has gone through some hardships recently”. it was hyerin singing “you raise me up” and it was so beautiful i would have cried if i weren’t so focused on filming haha

then it was snuper’s turn to perform. i only know platonic love, so i enjoyed that, but i was pretty clueless about the rest of the songs. i still liked it tho. during one of their songs they brought a fan on stage to sing to her and also threw roses to the crowd. according to my friend who was a bit further back one of the members aimed one at her but a girl in front of her caught it lol. one of the members was so funny idk his name but fans threw a signed uk flag at the stage and he put it on like a cape and he came over to our section loads. hes my bias now but who is he

after that (i think??), knk came back on to perform a cover of an ed sheeran song which i don’t know the name of. everyone sang with them and it was rly Nice

then my girls!!! arrived and i screamed So Loud it was too much. they’re all so beautiful, but u kno i love my girl jeonghwa and omg... pictures and videos dont do her justice at all shes honestly Ethereal i went into shock and i almost teared up. i saw a girl so beautiful i started crying???

they started with hot pink and i could kinda feel how empty it was without solji but it was still amazing to see the four of them. then they moved onto night rather than day, then ah yeah, then finally up and down. i was trying So Hard to get interaction, i made eye contact with jeonghwa a few times and every time i was givin her hearts... she just kinda glanced over me tho.... its ok i still love u

the girl next to me got So much interaction, from l.e especially. she had a homemade exid fan sign and l.e seemed to love it haha. i probably should have made something too

exid’s performance seemed to go so quickly, i filmed most of their songs and some of their talk. i haven’t even watched the videos yet i’m gonna die

after exid, there was a performance with snuper and a group of girl dancers who i think won a competition during the day? they did dance covers of a few bts songs

then highlight came on and performed two of their new songs, before two of their old ones. i rly enjoyed the old ones, the new ones... they were okay but i liked being reminded of their old image as beast. i think this was when one of them motioned for us to clap, i was one of the first to start so he looked at me was he was walking our way and nodded at me which was cool lol. i think it was highlight anyway.... and i think it was that time... honestly the boy groups... kinda mushed together for me i could even begin to tell you which member it was. i made eye contact with a few guys of the various groups so i cant rly remember specifically

during highlights performance this annoying girl came up behind me and was literally pushing against me, trying to move my hair, touching my arms and back before eventually asking if i could move over. i did, but i later found out that the girl had literally somehow managed to get to the barrier from the back. she was rude as hell. also there was fireworks during the performance which scared the crap out of me i was like that compilation vid of chanyeol

after highlight, there was an encore where all the groups came out and threw balls and balloons. knk was in front of our section and exid were next to them more towards the middle. i feel bad for saying it but i ... rly wanted exid in front of me lmao. i did hearts towards them and here is where i might have got interaction from hani but im not sure???? she looked in my direction as i was looking at her and making a heart with my hands and she grinned and did a thumbs up but im not sure it was at me it might have been someone near me. i like to think it was at me tho. people around me got a lot of interaction with different idols but i didnt?? thats going back to diy stuff tho, ppl around me had created signs and written messages on paper and stuff so i guess thats where that came from. i rly would have done something too for exid but i didnt think id be that close, never mind at the barrier so i didn’t see much point

there was also confetti flying from a machine right in front of me and i accidentally dropped my exid fan sign i was given in the queue over the barrier so i caught confetti in my bag to take home instead lol. the annoying girl was still there and still annoying, she threw something at knk she’d made and one of the members got it and she started screaming and crying and yelling i love u which i wouldnt mind but... after the way she was so rude to me (and as i found out later, other ppl) nah why does she deserve that lmao. she also ended up getting a ball since security came over with two that had dropped and she said the yellow was hers... it wasnt she even asked me who signed it lmao

overall it was a really good concert and i cant wait to watch the videos back. it had ups and downs but despite having to miss london pride for it i dont regret going. i got to meet some great people and ofc i got to see my Special Girls in the flesh... they said they’d come back soon i hope so. ive drunk so much water tonight and im about to go and drink more also i can’t walk

[levelfivegay]

so literally nobody asked but heres how my day went 

wwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttttttt the fuckckcckckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk  honestly. started normal. got my tired gay ass outta bed at 5, went to school at 6. 0 hour went by fine. took a quiz on heart of darkness, died a little inside, but about halfway through i was hit by Fucking Waves of the McDepression(tm) feel. So again, started normal.

 first hour tho,,,,,, jesus fuck???? hate that class. Its AP calc AB, so its fucking hard. I get by, i understand pretty much everything we do though. I get good grades on the mock tests we take, but i do no work. absolutely nothing. i rarely do any work at all if im being honest. im always out of it, im literally constantly consumed by the urge to jump in front of a car, i cant force myself to do anything. ive convinced myself nothing i do is important anymore because i wont be alive long enough to benefit from it (yikes lmao i know).

 so i do nothing and have a solid fucking F in that class. we took a quiz and worked on a packet. along the way i get asked a problem about fucking derivatives and i had the right answer but i stutter when explaining it and i literally get fucking sympathy pats (actual physical pats. they may not have been that passive aggressive but i hate physical contact and overanalyze everything and get mad) because poor stupid fucking jillian right?  

 but anyways  at the end in the idle 3 minutes the teacher gave us, she came up to me to confront me about my grade. she told me its an... Issue and she thought i knew more than my grade reflected which... i guess. she asked what was going on and of course whenever someone asks whats wrong i go into Breakdown Mode, like somebody drilled a fucking hole in a shitty dam. i look away from her and say i “just have a lot going on right now and i cant focus on that” and she asks me to try harder (this was when i started tearing my nails off and holding my breath so i wouldnt actually cry in front of the entire class) and to come in after school next week. so i agree and  before i can fucking book it she tells me she has to call my parents. so the bell rings and i grab my shit and fucking motor, going blue in the face holding back a breakdown.

the walk down that hallway out of the building has literally never been harder. i left my friends behind and turned my music as loud as possible to catch my breath and clear my face before i go outside to walk with another friend. i... kind of succeeded? bc he didnt say anything. so we went to class and i was distracting myself with shitty jokes and bad coloring and he says we should leave after that hour, so i get my mom to call me out and we leave and get food.

and when i got home, i immediately checked the receiver and deleted the teachers message.

but god damn.

i was such a wreck when she was talking to me. how the fuck do you lightly say that the reason you didnt do your math homework was because you were curled up thinking about all the ways you could kill youself in the next three minutes and who youd have to address in your suicide note????? what the fuck????

honestly im this fucked up mixture of angry and depressed. ive asked my parents three times now for fucking therapy. i need someone to talk to. i fu cking need someone to actually talk to who i wont be paranoid about worrying with all my shit. someone who actually kind of wants to hear what i want to say to help or is at least a little obligated to. what kind of parents three times dont help their kid get help? what the fuck. if my kid could work up the courage to ask me for an appt with a therapist or psychiatrist, id hop all over that shit real fast. lists of therapists in the area covered by our insurance, discussions of what they want out of it, schedules, get them set up asap. but here we are. seven months later. wow. 

lmao life just that way isnt it tho lol. crazy innit. someone hit me with a car. 

[survey1000]

78. Being alone has a power that very few can handle.

When was the last time you cleaned out a bath tub? A few days ago I think. Have you ever had an encounter with the paranormal? I think so, its been quite a few years ago though. Does being in love make you nervous? Yes, been hurt too many times to be at ease with something like that. Would you do your own surgery so keep yourself alive? (Ex. stitches) If I absolutely had to, but I don’t think I would know what I would be doing though lol.

Would you rather read poetry or write poetry? I used to do both when I was in middle school, but I haven’t really had an interest since then.

Have you ever had any really infected injuries? I don’t think so, I’ve had infected areas but nothing too serious. Is racism for losers? Absolutely. Have you ever gotten so discouraged with something that you gave up? Whenever I try to get in shape. Is there any band out there that you like every song by them? I don’t think so, for example; I love Eminem but there’s a couple songs that I don’t really like.

Do you prefer long surveys or short surveys? I like long ones, as long as it’s all different questions. Would you ever work for Google? Yeah probably lol. Do people that are ungrateful for everything bother you? Yes, I’ve been depressed for more than half my life but there’s always things that I have been grateful for. Have you ever related yourself to a ‘fallen angel’? No lol. Do you text people from a cell phone or from the internet? Both, but usually my phone. Are you popular on any websites? Nope lol. Have you ever cussed/swore in front of younger children? Yeah lol wasn’t on purpose I’m just so used to swearing lol. If so, did they eventually imitate what you said? Once lol. If you ruled the world, what is the first law that you would make? Ban all wars. Do you think politics are evil? Yes, very much so.

Do you have any friends that you almost always joke around with? Oh yeah, all of my friends I can. Will you go to your high school reunion? Maybe, a lot can change from now till then lol. Have you ever beat up someone because they had different beliefs than you? No, I’m completely against hate crimes. Have you learned any new words today? Not that I know of lol. If you hair never got greasy again, would you still wash it? Even though that would be amazing, yes I still would because I can get really bad dandruff if I don’t wash my hair at least every other day. What was the last song you listened to? Nowhere Fast - Eminem. Are you currently texting anyone right now? I’ve been Facebook messaging Ashlee for the past little while now. If you could meet one famous person, who would it be? Eminem. When was the last time you played jump rope? Oh my, that’s been quite a few years ago. If I tried now I would get hit in the face by my boobs lmao. If you have ever jump roped, did you ever trip over the rope? Yeah I was a clumsy kid lol. Do you hate it when people look over your shoulder? Depends on who it is and what I’m doing. Do you give good advice? For certain things I would think so. Would you rather help people or hurt people? Help obviously lol. If your enemy lost almost everything, would you be willing to help them? The only ‘enemy’ I can think of is the guy that bullied me for years, and I honestly can’t answer this. Have you ever prayed for your enemies? Yeah, cause I really hope that he’s doing better for himself now than he was back when we were teens. Do you lie in order to tell people what they want to hear? Only the customers lol. Or are you honest and tell the truth, good or bad? I don’t like hurting people, especially my loved ones, but I don’t like lying to them either. Would you consider yourself hypocritical? I have been. What would you do if you found a suitcase with a million dollars in it? If there was no ID in the suitcase or on it, I’d keep it but I would also keep an eye out to see if there was any post about it missing, especially if it was from the police lol. Are you addicted to any energy drinks? I drink them every now and then, but not addicted. Do you know anyone who had had a heart attack under 30 years of age? I don’t think so. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you were never born? I’ve thought about that way too many times. Something tragic just happened, does your facial expression show it? Always, my face can be like an open book to how I’m feeling. Currently are you relieved about something? Yes and no. Are you angry about something? How about sad? Both. Are you considered popular at school? No, never was and never wanted to be. I was always in the background in school. I hated being center of attention, still do to be honest lol. Who was the last person you offended? Fuck knows lol. Do you feel sorry for kids who have celebrity parents? No, I feel sorry for the kids who have shitty or no parents. If you could invite ANYONE to your house, who would it be? One of those house building people, but only if they would fix up my house for free lol. Is there something that you absolutely can’t wait for? Yeah, I can’t wait to get my full driver’s license. If you could host your own talk show, would you do it? Maybe, probably not though, I’d rather be a producer of the show. Do you have a phone right next to you? Yeah. If you were starving would you eat food out of a garbage can? If I was desperate, yes. Have you ever told anyone ‘get back, jack!’? (My Mom says that) Not that I can remember lol. Have you ever seen something you wanted in a store but didn’t have money? All the time lol. If so, did you want to steal it or did you actually steal it? I’ve never stolen something, but I think everyone has had the thought of stealing something, and I think most people would if they knew they weren’t going to get caught.

[stardusstt]

Oasis, nirvana, blur, RHCP, manic street preachers, elastica ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Do you wear sunglasses often?  most of the time when I’m driving during the day.

Are you a beer, wine, or liquor person? LIQUOR

Do you prefer the stars or the moon, the land or the sea?  i love both the stars and the moon, but i guess if i had to choose id say the stars. They are so beautiful and trusting. Im afraid of deep bodies of water so ill say land lmao. like i like the ocean (never seen it lol) but its pretty and everything but like the really deep parts. I honestly just looked up “fear of deep water” and literally tensed up at the photos. it scares me so much omfg. drop offs are the worst fuckkkk

Do you have a lot of regrets?  i have one really big one lol, i previously discussed it in another ask, my disgusting af ex… i have another one that I’ve never have really told anyone, that involves my dad, but i won’t put it on here cause well lmao idk

Would you ever want to be famous? yes i think so.

Nirvana:

Do you belive in God? i haven’t fully truly believed in God since my dad died.

Are you a flannel or sweaters person? both but i really love my vintage 80s sweaters soooooooo.

Where’s your happy place? rock concerts. everyone there at least kinda understands why i love these fuckers so much, even though they hit on me and shit. its nice to be around people who get it a lil, even though they’re all way older than me lol. even though, even though. like last weekend i saw Dokken and Dee Snider and after the show they were just playing music from a mix and Cum On Feel The Noise by Quiet Riot played directly after Dee’s set, and EVERYONE was singing along and i really felt at home. I’m never truly as happy as when I’m seeing live music. Like I’m happy other times but its different. its hard to explain man.

Do you like your family? i love my family

What stereotype were/are you closest to in high school? i have no idea lol, i was really different all the time.

Blur:

Do you like sunny weather? yes, and i also like rainy weather!

Do a lot of people know about your sexuality? i think everyone knows I’m straight. but i don’t talk to a lot of people so idk, not a lot of people know I’m attracted to older men, i think they think I’m joking. but like no I’m not i can’t see myself being w someone that isn’t at least 10 years older than me. like when i realize someone is like 25 ill be kinda grossed out lmao, ill take 55.

Are you a city or country person? city

Favorite brand of athletic wear? tredstep ireland

Do you like your smile? no, its kinda crooked i think idk

Red Hot Chili Peppers:

Are you a go-with-the-flow person? sometimes.

What’s a dream you’ve had that you’ll never forget? i have a lot of really bad dreams that were so terrifying ill never forget lol, but like I’ve had really great dreams too. I remember the first dream i had about Axl when i was like 15. it was amazing and wonderful and seeing him in person was everything i ever thought it would be because of the dreams I’ve had of him. he’s just like a dream; i cannot wait to see him again in literally two weeks oh my god.

Are you spiritual at all? i really believe in astrology and i know a lot of people think its bogus, but idk. also like spells and healing crystals are the real deal imo.

What was the saddest point in your life? when my dad got sick, and i watched him get more and more sick and couldn’t do anything about it. and when he broke his back and it healed but his back still hurt so he thought it was that but it was actually the pain from his liver failing. talking to him on the phone and him not being able to answer because he was pretty much a vegetable. telling myself the whole time that something like that could never happen to me and thinking it would all be okay, so when he could talk and the last time i ever talked to him was on the phone and i didn’t want to talk on the phone so  i kept trying to get off the phone because i thought ill be able to talk to him when he’s home. he said he couldn’t wait to come home and see his baby girl, and i really believed he’d come home but he didn’t. oh yeah theres the other regret. sorry for the depressing mess

What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done? i had sex in my high school lmaooo gross.

Manic Street Preachers:

Do you believe that humans are good? some of them. not a lot though

What’s your signature makeup or fashion statement?  I’m very much so 80s inspired

Are you a books or a movie person, and what are some of your favorites?  movie definitely, ahhh thats a long list. Wayne’s World, Sing Street, Back To The Future, Batman, Ghostbusters, Rain Man, This Is The End, Superbad, Purple Rain, Vanilla Sky, Guardians Of The Galaxy, One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, Edward Scissorhands, Spiderman: Homecoming, Mr. Mom, The Truman Show, Star Wars (4,5,6 and 7), every marvel movie lmao god, Pretty In Pink, The Joker Is Wild, Jersey Boys, Beetlejuice, Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, Lego Batman Movie, Little Shop Of Horrors, The Three Amigos, Mars Attacks!, It’s So Easy And Other Lies, Gremlins, ahhh theres so many lmao, Horrible Bosses, The Burbs, What About Bob?, A Nightmare On Elm St…..so many more but we’ll leave it there for now omg.

Do you see yourself as an outcast? kinda, no one my age likes the same things as i do, like they don’t even know half the bands i listen to. I relate more with people that are older than me because lmao they actually know what I’m talking about. I dress different than everyone so theres that, i literally wake up wishing its the 80s so i dress like it is and a little part of me believes it is until i walk out of my bedroom lmao then I’m just the odd one out.

Are you nostalgic? lmao yeah! I’m always reminiscing about things and like i said i love the 80s so theres that.

Elastica:

What’s your dream car? A pink cadillac from 56', 59'. and an 85' corvette.

Favorite card game? lol i don’t play card games often

Do you consider yourself cool? yes

Vinyl, cassettes, CDs, or digital? ahhhh def NOT digital! probs vinyl, but i love cassettes too and cds.

What’s a haircut/style you’ve always wanted to get? i need someone to actually feather the fuck out of my hair man.

This was a long one, i commend anyone who actually reads it lmao. thanks anon!!💖💋