#I mean Ive made stupid jokes like that before

[nomairuins]

i unlocked a new voice earlier btw but i cant do it that much bc it requires me to be nervously laughing and breathing very heavily and it had me gasping for breath for like 30 minutes

[axelsagewrites]

Could you do a Roy or Jamie fic where the reader gets hurt? Even something silly like getting hit in the head with a ball at practice or something! They’re super concerned and want to take care of them! I also love angst…sorry if it’s a stupid idea. No worries if you don’t want to write it 💜✨

Jamie Tartt*Practise Mishap

Pairing: Jamie x f!reader

Word count: 1291

Warnings: reader getting hit by a football (which hurts a lot btw from experience), Jamie feeling guilty, fluff

A/n: i love this idea btw ive been wanting to write something like this for a while but i made this more fluff than angst

Masterlist here

You’d never actually seen Jamie at practise. There was the occasional time where you dropped him off or picked him up after, but you never lingered since he needed to concentrate. However today Jamie in all his genius managed to forget his phone this morning.

“Wouldn’t have forgotten it if you hadn’t have distracted me love,” he teased, a smirk toying on his lips that made you smack his chest.

“Can you not?” you said, nodding to where the coaches stood only a couple feet away.

Of course, Roy heard. A loud groan came from him before he barked at Jamie, “Back on the field Tartt,”

“You staying to watch Jamie in action?” Ted asked, far more politely than Roy who was sulking at the suggestion.

You looked between him and Jamie who seemed to perk up at the idea, “Is that allowed?”

“I don’t see why not,”

“Maybe he’ll actually put some effort in,” Roy mumbled.

Jamie just rolled his eyes at Roy before giving you a quick kiss, “Get ready to see the king in action,” he said before running back on the field as you laughed.

“How do you stand him?” Roy grunted.

Truthfully you found Jamie’s cockiness annoyingly attractive, but you didn’t think Roy needed to hear that. “What can I say? I’m a saint,” you joked.

Even though the practise was interesting at first it was just boys kicking balls around a field and the illusion quickly worn off. That plus you were supposed to get a bunch of things done at home since it was a rare day off. You turned to Ted to tell him, “I’ll probably shoot off in a minute or two,” you said at the same time as someone yelled “Watch out!”

Roy tried to grab your arm, pulling you out the way, but not fast enough and a ball planted right in the middle of your chest, knocking you off your feet. You hit the ground with a thud and all the air was knocked out your lungs.

You heard Jamie shout your name, but you were too busy coughing up a storm and trying not to be sick. Roy and Ted had crouched down beside you, Beard shouting for Nate to run for the first aider. “Are you alright love?” Jamie asked, dropping to his knees beside you.

“I think- “your attempts to speak was interrupted by more coughing and the urge to be sick, “Ow,” you winced.

“What the fuck were you doing Colin?” you heard the footballers begin to argue as they all rushed to your side.

“I was trying to pass to Isaac! I didn’t know he didn’t see me,”

“When I said improve your kick, I didn’t mean kill Jamie’s bird,” Roy yelled at him, standing up.

Ted tried to calm him, but it was Jamie who spoke first, “Oi! The lot of you move it. you’re crowding her now piss off,” his anger washed off his face when he turned back to you, “C’mon love let’s get you some help,”

“I’m fine,” you winced as Jamie pulled you to your feet.

“No, you’re not now be quiet and let me help you,” he said as he helped you over to sit on a bench at the side. The first aider came and gave you a once over and said it was all good but to be careful. So, Jamie naturally made them triple check. Colin also came over, apologising a million and one times to which you assured him it was okay, and Jamie tried not to death glare him.

Some water and painkillers did help but you still weren’t feeling amazing. Ted walked over with a guilty smile on his face, “How we are doing over here folks?”

“Better now,” you smiled, hiding your wincing as best you could.

“I’m gonna kill Colin,” Jamie muttered.

You rolled your eyes, placing a hand over his, “It was an accident babe. Let’s just let it go, okay?” Jamie didn’t say anything, but you knew he wouldn’t. “But I should defiantly go now,”

“Well Rebecca gave me a call saying to tell Jamie to take the afternoon off and take care of you,” Ted said and before you could protest, he cut you off, “Its doctors orders, okay? Now scamp you too. And try take it easy, okay?”

You felt bad making Jamie miss the end of practise but right now football was the last thing on his mind. after dropping you off at his place and surrounding you with pillows and blankets Jamie went on a Tesco run for snacks.

When he got back you laughed when you saw the almost overflowing bag. “We’ve got enough to survive the winter,” you joked as he sat it down. “You’re spoiling me,”

“Never,” Jamie said with a bashful smile as he pulled out the flowers from behind his back, “Got ye these as well,”

“Aw Jamie,” you gushed, standing up to take them from him but you winced slightly as you did.

Instantly concern washed over his face as he grabbed your arm to steady you despite you not actually falling, “You alright love? I knew that women missed something. What hurts- “

“Jamie,” you interrupted him, cupping his face with your hands making him pause in his tracks, “I’m fine baby I swear. Are you?”

“Yeah, course I am,” he said, wrapping his arms around you, “I just don’t want you getting hurt and that. I just feel bad’s all,” he said, mumbling as he hugged you tighter.

You moved your head to rest on his shoulder, hugging him back, “But why?”

“You were there to see me and then you got hurt. I know how hard those balls can hit,” he said before sighing, “Its all my fault,” he mumbled making your heart break.

You pulled back only to pull him to sit on the couch next to you, placing the flowers on the coffee table, “It was an accident. It was no one’s fault,”

“It was colin’s fault,”

“It was no one’s fault,” you repeated, rolling your eyes with a small smile, “Now are you gonna sit and mope all day or are you gonna take care of me?”

Finally, a smile cracked onto his lips, “Thought it didn’t hurt anymore?”

“I lied,” you said, sinking back into the couch in a dramatic display, “I am wounded beyond belief. You’ll need to do everything I need,” you joked with a hand splayed across your head.

Jamie leaned down to press a gentle kiss to your forehead, “Don’t I always?” he smiled. “Want me to put those in some water?”

“Yes please,” you grinned as Jamie got up to sort out the flowers, but you called out before he could leave the room, “Can we have a movie night?”

“If that’s what the lady wants, that’s what the lady gets,” he grinned, “Just try not pick a total chick flick,” he added with a smirk that made you roll your eyes.

By the time he’d returned with drinks and a takeaway menu you already had 27 dresses queued up, “Oh c’mon,” Jamie protested as he dropped onto the couch beside you.

“Please, I’m injured,” you teased making him roll his eyes but finally agree. Despite his protests Jamie was more into the movie than you were and made you pinkie promise to pause it when he went to get the food when it arrived.

Four chick flicks and an unholy amount of food later you and Jamie were curled up on the couch under a pile of blankets. “Feeling better?” he murmured in your ear though you could hear from his voice he was already half asleep.

“Feeling perfect baby, thank you,”

“Anything for you,”

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[velvateen]

pleeeasseeee can i get some more luffy? i love how you write him 🥺

ive grown so used to you somehow - luffy x reader fluff

YESSSSS i forgot how to read and write but im back!!!

fluff, gn reader!! no warnings, just luffy being sweet af, same old same old

Ripples of hushed laughter slipped past your split lips as you tried your best to keep hushed, two warm bodies against the dark backdrop of the night. Nighttime at sea was always eerily dark, which made the stars stark in contrast to the seamless meeting of sky and sea. It was late, the sweltering summer day cooled pleasantly by the setting of the sun. Occasionally a warm breeze would threaten the flame burning in the lanterns holding the blanket down below you, but you didn’t pay it much mind.

“Even when I do this?” Luffy warped his face into some impossible expression, causing you to slap your hand across your mouth as you fought another laugh.

You were breathless as you nodded, “Yes, I still think you’re cute when you do that face.”

“Hey, come on, I wanna hear it!” he reached to pull your hand down before you slapped his arm in protest.

“Okay,” you whispered, “Seriously, stop, we’re gonna wake everyone up,” your tone was hushed buy the sincerity of your words dampened by the laughter cracking through. It didn’t help that his smile was so infectious, his face so warmed by the soft lantern light.

You both caught your breath, lungs exhausted from hours of laughing, and a deeper silence filled the space as it always has the tendency of doing.

You sighed, and as you looked back at Luffy to catch the traces of laughter residing in his eyes, you found he was looking right at you too, gaze unwavering.

You cocked your head, “What?” He mimicked your action, smiling as you saw eye-to-eye again.

“You’re so pretty!”

You lolled your head to the other side. “So are you!”

His smile cracked his face in two as he giggled, “I mean it!”

You sat up straight, and he followed, “What makes you say that now, though?” You didn’t realize that he’d scooted closer to you until he started speaking again.

“I always say it, don’t I?” He leaned a tad closer, bottom lip tucked into his lips, the smile never leaving.

“You do, but I’m wondering what exactly do I do that makes you say it?” He’s getting really very close now, you think.

“Hmm,” he makes a show of putting his fist on his chin, scrunching his eyebrows. You laugh, touching his forehead to make the faux frustration ease away.

“You do that!” He grabs your wrist and pulls it to rest in his hand, gently lacing his fingers with yours.

“Do what!?” Your eyes widen, searching desperately to understand what exactly he’s gunning for.

“Little stuff, like just now,” his thumb starts to rub circles into your hand, “you make me smile when you laugh, and how you like when I’m making stupid jokes,” he presses into your palm, a motion that calls you to look into his eyes, away from where he’s holding you.

“I just like being around you, and how you make me feel, and I like to look at you while you do those things. You make me better.”

The heat in your cheeks is enough to tell you that you’re blushing like crazy and, with a sweltering smile, you look away.

a/n HELLO thank you for the request sm i loved writing this it was so damn cute!!! please send in more ideas and i will try my best to fulfill them! sorry for falling off the face of the earth (one year closer to my bachelors degree) 😼🏄‍♀️💪

ALSO title from the lyrics of “lovesick blues” by hank williams hehehe

[copias-girl]

To Catch a Cardinal: Chapter V

Song recommendation for this fic!

Chapter I, Chapter II, Chapter III, Chapter IV

A/N: Here’s another one for you guys! This is sooo high school cafeteria vibes 💀

•♥︎𖤐♥︎•

“He’s such a disgusting little rat.” Sister Emily growled, poking her spoon into her food, seemingly annoyed by the Cardinal’s mere existence.

“He’s such a disgusting little rat.” Sister Emily growled, poking her spoon into her food, seemingly annoyed by the Cardinal’s mere existence.

“I know right? He’s just… such a pathetic dork.” Lilith agreed.

You felt a scowl growing on your face as you took another bite of cream-of-whatever soup. Celery, you think it was. But who could pay attention to the soup with the vile conversation around you?

“Kinda creepy too. He seems like a weirdo, ya know?” Mable added, gesturing with her spoon.

“Yeah I totally get that vibe too! I mean, anyone who keeps rats as pets must be kind of weird, right? He’s like… one of those creepy loners.” Ava giggled.

“Exactly! I bet those rats are his only friends.” Emily laughed. “You know, he’s kind of like a car crash. Awful to watch but you just can’t seem to look away.”

“Why do you guys hate him so much? I don’t get it.” You interjected, setting your spoon down and looking at your friends expectantly.

They stopped talking, glancing over to you before their eyes flicked to one another.

“What, like you don’t? I mean.. come on.” Mable scoffed.

“No, I don’t hate him at all, Mable. He hasn’t done anything to make anyone hate him.” You responded. “I actually think he’s really sweet.” You added, earning a barrage of incredulous scoffs from the other sisters.

“Ew, don’t even say that! He’s disgusting and stupid!” Emily shook her head indignantly. “He’s so clumsy and honestly he’s just painful to be around, always dropping things and st-st-st-stuttering like a f-f-fucking idiot.” She scoffed. “I can’t believe you’re wasting your time being nice to him when you could be spending time with Rob. He really likes you, y’know.”

“Ugh, I know! You’re so lucky. Satan only knows what we’d do to be in your position. Rob is so hot!” Ava sighed dreamily.

“I’m not wasting my time being nice to Copia…” You scoffed, not even knowing what the reasoning was behind that. “And honestly? Rob is just a-“

“Hey, girls!” Rob’s flirtatious tone sounded above the chatter in the dining hall, causing you to roll your eyes as you cut yourself off.

He tried to pull out the chair next to you, but you placed your hand on the seat to stop him from sitting. “Sorry, I’m saving this seat.” You stated simply. Rob only shrugged, walking to the other side of the long table to sit across from you.

“Who are you saving it for? Seems like the gang’s all here.” He asked, not even hiding the fact that he was checking you out.

“Cardinal Copia.” You responded casually, causing Rob to chuckle, as if it was some sort of joke.

“Is something funny?” You asked, growing irritated.

“Oh, you’re actually serious??” He snorted. “You know, between you and me, I don’t think Copia needs a chair. More like a giant rat trap.” He said, causing your friends to burst out laughing.

“That’s a rotten thing to say.” You frowned.

“Aw, come on, sweet cheeks, don’t be mad. Rob smiled. “Hey, when are you gonna hang out with me, by the way? I’d like to get to know you better.”

“Um, we should all hang out!” Lilith suggested eagerly, the other sisters nodding rapidly in agreement.

“Don’t worry, ladies, there’s enough of me to go around! How about after lunch?” Rob grinned, but you only protested.

“No no, I’ll be busy, I have to work on Latin translations!” You made up an excuse. You were so preoccupied trying to avoid getting roped into hanging out with Rob, that you didn’t even notice Copia meandering into the dining hall with his little tray of soup.

He didn’t see you, instead going around to various tables to try to find a place to sit, but getting denied at all of them. Some of the siblings made up excuses like saving the seat for someone else, but others only gave him a dirty look and blatantly told him to go elsewhere.

“Sorry, no losers allowed.” A sister snapped, her whole table stifling laughter at Copia’s embarrassed expression.

“O-okay, eh, sorry..” He nodded timidly.

Your eyes widened as you recognized that pitiful little accent, immediately turning and spotting him.

“Cardinal!” You shouted, waving him over. “I saved you a seat!”

Almost everyone in the dining hall looked shocked that you wanted Copia to sit next to you, muttering amongst themselves about what someone like you could possibly want with someone like him.

A shy yet grateful smile found its way onto the Cardinal’s face as he began making his way to you. You sighed dreamily, gazing at him so fondly that you didn’t even catch what Rob was murmuring to Emily.

Just as Copia was passing Emily, she turned and stuck her foot out, tripping the man and causing him to fall forward, landing hard on the cold marble floor, soup spilling everywhere.

The poor man was stunned, barely registering what had even happened. After a few moments, he slowly picked himself up to sit on his knees, his gloved hands still firmly planted on the floor in front of him as his eyes were trained down at the spilled soup.

The whole dining room grew silent, except for judgemental whispers and hushed laughter.

The Cardinal felt tears welling heavy in his eyes at the humiliation, his heart aching as he heard the cruel comments and jokes from Rob and your friends. He always tried to remain positive and unfazed by the way he was treated, but in this moment he realized how much he was truly hated by everyone.

You were appalled; standing up so fast that your chair fell backwards as you knelt down next to Copia.

“Cardinal! Cardinal are you alright?” You asked, placing a hand on his shoulder, but he was unresponsive, still in shock.

You scowled at your friends with hellfire in your eyes. “He could be Papa one day, you know!” You shouted.

They looked surprised at your anger, but didn’t show one ounce of remorse.

“Yeah, I really don’t think so.” Emily replied, seemingly amused.

You shook Copia gently, trying to get him to snap out of it. He blinked a few times, swallowing hard as you brought him out of his daze. But instead of responding to you, he only rushed to his feet and began scurrying out of the dining hall as quickly as he could, shoulders hunched in shame, cheeks reddened from humiliation as tears glittered in his mismatched eyes.

“Cardinal!” You called after him, ready to chase him down before turning to your friends.

“How could you?” You spat, not waiting for a response as you ran after Copia.

You caught up with him just as he turned the corner, his steps growing faster and faster.

“Cardinal, wait!” You caught his sleeve, pulling him to slow down. He stopped just enough for you to push him up against the wall, caging him in so he couldn’t run away from you. It broke your heart, the way he refused to meet your gaze, the way slow tears began rolling down his flushed cheeks as his lower lip quivered.

“Cardinal..” You pressed yourself against him, getting soup all over yourself too but you could hardly care, not when you were pulling his trembling form into you, cradling the back of his head with your hand.

He sniffled into your shoulder, weakly trying to escape your grasp so you wouldn’t have to see him like this; a broken man.

“Please don’t cry, Cardinal. Just- Look at me. Please.” You cupped his face in your hands, caressing his tear-stained cheeks. He finally did, then, pulling away just enough to look you in the eyes.

“Everything’s alright, Cardinal. Are- are you hurt?” Your voice soothed him.

The poor man shook his head no, his gaze flicking down to where your bodies were touching one another.

“Oh no, I… M-mi dispiace, I… I got soup all over you too.” He sighed in deep disappointment, as if it was his own fault; the lines on his forehead deepening with guilt and worry.

You lifted his chin with a gentle finger, shaking your head. “It doesn’t matter, I don’t care.”

“Leave me, Sorella, go back to your amici.” Copia leaned his head back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling before closing his eyes as more tears threatened to spill.

“Not a chance.” You shook him softly, getting the man to look at you once more.

“But-”

“Listen to me, Cardinal.” You brought your hands up to his face once more, wiping his tears away with your thumbs before they could streak his eye paint too horribly. “We’re going to go upstairs, get cleaned up, and change. And then we’re going to come back down here in time for dessert, alright?”

Panic flashed on Copia’s face as he began shaking his head and stuttering. “N-no, I… I-I can’t face them, Sorella.”

“I’ll be with you. I won’t leave your side, Cardinal, and we’ll act like nothing happened. You’ll see, it’ll be okay, I promise.” You reassured him, pulling him into a comforting hug as you pressed your cheek against his.

“Sorella, they-” He sighed, worrying his lower lip between his teeth. “Maybe they are right about me…” He pulled away just enough to look into your eyes, shrugging hopelessly before averting his gaze.

“Well, my opinion of you is very favourable, Cardinal. So you shouldn’t believe a word they say.” Your hands smoothed up up up his chest, finding purchase on his shoulders and causing his breath to hitch at your touch and your words. He almost couldn’t believe his ears, that you of all people would think kindly of him. You were such a wonderfully nice girl, so he heavily suspected you were just trying to cheer him up, too sweet to admit out loud that he really was just a pathetic loser.

But that’s where Copia was wrong; you did acknowledge the fact that he was a pitiful, unloved, strange little rat man. But that’s exactly what got you going. That’s exactly the thing that kept you up at night, writhing around in your bed with your hand between your legs as you quietly mewled out his name.

“So, what do you say? Dessert?” You prompted him, softly rubbing the tension out of his shoulders.

The poor thing only nodded, eyes wide and lower lip flushed from biting it too much. Now that he had calmed down, Copia was suddenly shy and overwhelmed at the close proximity between the two of you.

“Good.” You nodded, satisfied with his decision, taking his hand in yours as you walked towards the stairs together.

You refused to let the other siblings win. You refused to let them drive Copia out with their cruelty. If he gave in, letting their bullying chase him off, he would let them have their victory.

But you, well, you had your own brand of cruelty that you enjoyed inflicting on the man. You loved watching him squirm, looking like a deer in the headlights as you subtly drove him deeper into insanity. Satan, the more everyone made fun of Copia, the more you wanted him; his woeful paltriness igniting such a strong desire deep in your core. It made you want to fuck him in front of everyone; right in front of everyone who had ever called him names and laughed at him. Maybe you would. Maybe you’d beg him to bend you over the dessert table and fuck you dumb, taking his cock until you forgot your own name.

Deep in thought, the two of you silently made your way up the stairs, stopping when you came to Copia’s quarters.

“I’m gonna go change and I’ll meet you back here, okay? My room isn’t far.” You told him, earning a nervous nod and a timid “Okie dokie…”

•𖤐•

You stripped down, tossing your habit in the hamper before looking through your closet for another one to wear. Humming to yourself, you selected one that you had been meaning to wear more often, pulling it out and slipping it on.

It was tight, fitting you like a glove. The skirt was floor-length, flaring out slightly, with a ridiculously high slit on both legs. The habit itself had long sleeves and was low cut, but it had a crimson nun’s bib collar which covered your shoulders and neck, almost making it look like you had a peekaboo hole to show off your cleavage. On the neckpiece sat a diamond-encrusted grucifix, dangling from the collar. Also, this habit had red trim everywhere: lining the two leg slits, the hem, the cuffs on your wrists. Also, the whole inside of the skirt was red, so whenever you walked, the flowing fabric showed off the shock of gorgeous rich crimson.

It even had its own matching habit with red trim, and a red grucifix embroidered on the back, so you swapped yours out for that. It looked absolutely exquisite, you were a vision in black and red. You smirked in the mirror, almost fearing that poor Copia would suffer a heart attack at the mere sight of you.

Once you were finished dressing, you hurried back to his room, hoping he hadn’t changed his mind.

As if on cue, the Cardinal stepped out of the room, wearing his red cassock and biretta. A quiet little gasp tumbled from your lips. You had only ever seen him in his black cassock, so this was a real treat.

“Cardinal…” You greeted him, a lilt of flirtatiousness in your tone as you sauntered up to him.

He looked at you, mismatched eyes widening as he did a double take.

“S-S-Sorella..!” Copia gasped, his gaze darting all around, desperately trying not to gawk at you. But Lucifer knows it was hard; you were sex on legs. Looking at you without thinking sinful thoughts was an impossible task.

“Is something wrong, Cardinal? Do I look bad?” You feigned worry, batting your thick eyelashes innocently as you approached him.

“N-no, not at all…! You, eh, y-you look… very, very nice, Sorella…” He stammered, wringing his hands in front of him, heart hammering in his chest as you placed a dainty little hand on his arm.

“Thank you, Cardinal.” You were so coy, twirling a lock of hair around your finger. “You look quite… ravishing in red.” You bit your lip, looking him up and down while toying with the hem of his pellegrina.

“T-thank you…” Copia swallowed nervously as he couldn’t help staring at you, his burning cheeks deeply flushed to match his cassock.

“Ready?” You asked, taking his arm.

The Cardinal nodded, and together you made your way back to the dining hall.

•𖤐•

Before turning the corner to enter the hall, you felt Copia slowing down beside you, his anxiousness growing at the thought of facing the siblings once more. He felt like a rat reentering the serpents’ den.

You gave his arm a comforting squeeze, turning to look at him. “I’m right here.” You assured him.

Those beautifully odd eyes were so big sorrowful as they stared back at you. He was biting his lip again, looking like he had something to say to you.

“Sorella… Ehm.. You said that… You said that I could be Papa one day? What did you mean by that?” Copia asked, confused.

“You never know, Cardinal. I believe in you.” You replied, eyes soft and dreamy as you gazed at him.

After a moment of soaking in your words, Copia nodded, still not quite understanding why you were being so nice to him. However, he trusted you fully as the both of you finally entered the dining room once more, just in time for dessert like you had planned.

Every head in that whole damn dining hall whipped towards you, mouths falling open and eyes widening as they took in the stunning sight of you and your Cardinal. You hadn’t even coordinated your habit to match his cassock, but Lucifer below, the two of you looked like you stepped out of a delicious cherry and black liquorice dream.

The hall was silent, the clicking of your heels echoing as you strolled over to your seat. You could tell Copia was extremely nervous with the way everyone was staring, but you allowed your confidence to encompass the both of you, giving his arm another little reassuring squeeze to remind him that you weren’t going to let him drown.

The Cardinal may have been painfully awkward, but he was still a gentleman, pulling your chair out for you before sitting next to you.

“Well, don’t stop on our accord.” You looked to your friends, who were still in awe of you in that habit, and also surprised to see Copia having returned.

“Where… Um, where did you get that habit? I don’t think those are issued out by the ministry.” Emily asked. It looked like she wanted to be angry about how spectacular it looked on you, but she was just too surprised.

“Oh this? It was a gift, from Papa. He had it made for me.” You shrugged nonchalantly, grabbing two coffee cups for you and Copia.

Emily’s mouth opened to speak but no words came out at first. “R-really? He… had it made especially for you?”

“Yeah, isn’t that so sweet of him? He came into my room and even took my measurements himself.” You casually wove the image into her mind, leaving out certain details that would no doubt drive her mad later. Did he order you to strip so he could wrap that tape measure around you? And you know what they say about measuring the bust; nipple to nipple. Exactly how high did his hand go when he was measuring your inseam?

You hid your smirk, knowing these questions would surely plague her every time she looked at Terzo.

“Cream?” You turned to Copia.

“S-si, please.” He nodded.

“Say when.” You told him, beginning to pour.

And pour.

And pour.

“Eh… When.”

Sweet Satan, this man didn’t like cream with his coffee, he liked coffee with his cream.

“Sugar?” You questioned, to which Copia asked for two.

You popped two sugar cubes into his cup, giving it a stir and pushing it to him.

“Grazie, Sorella.” He shyly thanked you, taking a small sip while you fixed your own cup.

You could feel Rob’s eyes on you as you looked over the numerous tiered dessert trays, placing some little pastries onto your plate.

Knowing that he was watching intently, you just couldn’t help your next move.

“Mm, Cardinal, you need to try this, it’s one of my favourites!” You chirped, holding a little cream-filled peach pastry up to his lips.

The poor man’s blush was creeping to the tips of his ears as he leaned in and cautiously took a bite, accidentally brushing his lips against your fingers. Once he pulled away, you popped the other half into your mouth, humming at the taste as you licked your fingers.

The Cardinal felt weak, so dizzyingly weak from you; a shock coursing through him as you placed a hand on his thigh, leaning forward towards the table and reaching for another pastry. It didn’t help that you kept carelessly kicking your leg back and forth under the table, your foot brushing up against Copia’s leg each time. Any sort of contact with you flustered him to the point that it was nearly painful.

Soon enough, your group of friends began talking normally once more, neither being mean to Copia nor acknowledging him at all.

Rob was right in the middle of trying to be ‘smooth’ and flirt with you when your eyes drifted to Copia, grinning endearingly as he shoved another pastry into his mouth. He looked a bit sad, his kissable lips pulled into a frown, eyes flicking to Rob and the way he was so obviously trying to pick you up. Satan, the Cardinal didn’t think you actually liked Rob back, did he?

“So, since we learned all about lust and rituals in class, I thought that maybe we could-” Rob just wouldn’t shut up, despite you looking uninterested in his loathsome advances.

You bit your lip, eyes locking on the thick smudge of frosting gracing the corner of Copia’s mouth. Scooting your chair closer until your leg was brushing against his, he looked towards you just as you reached up to wipe it away, bringing your hand to your lips and sucking the sweet, creamy frosting off your finger.

Poor sweet little Cardinal. His breath hitched in his throat, the hot blush on his cheeks nearly glowing by this point. You could practically feel the scorching heat radiating off him.

“Yum.” You licked your lips coquettishly; your hand trailing from his shoulder, down his arm, and mindlessly settling on his thigh once more.

“Sorry, you were saying?” You asked, turning back to Rob and noticing the other sisters’ wide eyes on you.

“Uh.. well- nevermind…” Rob sniffed, trying to play it cool as he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms.

“Cardinal, are you feeling okay?” You cooed, returning your attention to the man and inching even closer. He was stunned, lips still parted in shock at your little stunt.

“Your face is the same colour as your cassock.” You giggled, brushing the back of your finger against his face. Your hands were always cold, so the sensation gave him some relief. However, the all-consuming fire of nervousness continued to torment him ruthlessly as you gently doted on him in front of everyone.

“O-oh..! Eh.. ehm- I-I’m okay, si…” Copia nodded, not quite convinced that he even was okay. How mortifying, that everyone could see the blush on his face.

“You’re so hot, Cardinal.” You remarked, biting your lip and pressing your cool hands against his cheeks, forehead, even lightly tugging at his collar for him. The poor timorous little mouse didn’t even realize that you meant it in both senses of the word.

“Enjoy this moment, Cardinal. Probably the only time you’ll ever hear those words being spoken to you.” Emily sneered, causing Rob to let out an amused snort, the other sisters covering their mouths to stifle a cacophony of laughter.

Copia flinched, looking meek as ever, her words cutting deeply into his gentle heart. But then you were looping your arms around his shoulders, giving him a squeeze as you looked toward Emily.

“Hm, I wouldn’t be so sure about that. He’s kinda cute.” You teased. The Cardinal’s eyes widened as he stiffened, looking so pitifully astounded that he almost seemed fearful.

“Well, if you think rats are cute then sure!” She retorted, words dripping in passive aggression.

“I actually think rats are very cute.” You responded simply, taking everyone- including Copia- by surprise. “With their big eyes,” your gaze flitted to the Cardinal’s eyes. “their pointy noses,” your eyes flicked to his nose, “their cute little whiskers.” you grinned dreamily, looking at his moustache.

Copia thought he was going to pass out. Were you trying to convey what he thought you were trying to convey, or was it just pure coincidence? No, no, it had to be a coincidence. No one as beautiful as you would ever be attracted to him, it would be impossible. Illogical. Nonsensical. Completely and utterly mad.

The Cardinal shuddered out a tense little exhale, his chest tight with anxiety as he inwardly scolded himself. He was going crazy, he just had to be. Satan below, he felt like such a dirty old man for even thinking of the mere possibility of you meaning anything by that. He was unlovable; he always had been and he always would be.

“Whatever you say, Sister. Perhaps you should schedule an appointment with the eye doctor.” Emily sighed, feigning concern for you.

“Yeah maybe you should, babe. How many fingers am I holding up?” Rob asked, holding up two fingers.

“My eyes are fine, thanks. How many fingers am I holding up?” You shot back with an amused smirk, flipping Rob off.

Your friends gasped at your actions before giggling, not taking it to heart as they found your quick wit and sassiness quite amusing, even when you were using it against them.

The Cardinal was absolutely shocked by your brazenness. You were this gorgeous goddess of a girl, so graceful and poised, yet borderline presumptuous in the way you kept people in line. And Copia greatly admired you for it; the way you were the exact opposite of him. Where he had no self esteem, you were bursting with confidence; where he was shy, you were bold. He always felt himself drowning in anxiety, being reduced to nothing more than a shy, stuttering idiot. It was a mystery how you always kept yourself so effortlessly cool.

“Anyway, I’ll have to remember how warm you are next time the heating gives out, maybe you can keep me from freezing all night.” You hummed thoughtfully, finally pulling away from Copia. You kept your voice casual and innocent as could be, as if you didn’t quite understand how inappropriate it would be to have him sleeping in your bed.

The Cardinal- who had relaxed considerably once you pulled away from him- stiffened sharply once more. It didn’t go unnoticed, the way his head shot up, mismatched eyes widening, mouth opening and closing as he tried and failed to speak.

“S-si, eh.. P-perhaps.” He bit his lip, staring down into his cup of coffee. It was ironic, usually the Cardinal was always a bit cold; it was just you who got him all hot and bothered.

You smirked at his torment, twirling a lock of hair around your little finger. But your hair wasn’t the only thing wrapped around your little finger. You had Copia all wound up too.

𖤐 to be continued 𖤐

Taglist: @sucharide @the-hole-in-terzos-shoe @rightintheghoulies @copiaswifey @youhaveahomeinmyheart @mister-girl @faeeeeh @rubyserpentine @ramblingoak @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @angelconservation @yourlocalghouleh @gh0sty6 @nikolaiology @thenick100 @mothsdraw @ivyanddaisies @gothdaddyissues @moonlight-fern @copiaslittleratty @nocturnal-birb @creepyalbatross @lightbluuestars @delta-is-here @1kirby1 @dawnghoul @kyberj @esmiephan @not-ya-girl @notmanagingmymischief

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N ::: Things are out of whack. So I'm writing ☺(smol-ey = smol smiley). This song has been on 100% repeat for the last several hours of my life and heavily inspired what is below. This is only Part I and I don't know how many there will be. But I've taken quite a few notes on it. I would just say be ready for more.

SFW ::: C/W ::: A-n-g-s-t & language. (aged up) ProHero!Katsuki x F!reader, things didn't turn out like either of them thought and they're doing their best to move on. But can they? Do they really even want to?

WC ::: Just under 700

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

Part VI

Part VII

He called you at 8:04 that morning. And while you didn't answer, you did do him the courtesy of listening to his voicemail.

Katsuki's voice was gruff and rough around all of the edges. He didn't like that you probably looked at the phone when it began to ring and you either flipped it over or pushed the volume button to silence the ringtone that you two had so sweetly picked out together when you first got together 3 1/2 years ago.

The sound took you back to that time when everything was new and fun and so simple that you thought it would be like that forever. But you were harshly reminded that if things don't change, they will most likely die. It would take a miracle to figure out where, along the way, did you both change so much that you couldn't live together anymore.

"Oi, I know you're sitting there looking at your phone, listening to that fuckin' stupid little song we picked out on our 11th date. Yeah, course I remember. Anyway, uh, whatever. I mean, you needa come by and get the rest of your stuff outta here. I -” You heard a muffled sound as he tucked the phone away and yelled at someone. “- hold the fuck on, can you not see that I'm on the fuckin' phone? Jesus. Uh, um, oh. Get the rest of your shi- uh, stuff today. P-please. I'm off today and won't be home between 9 this morning to about 6 or 7 tomorrow morning. That should give you more than enough time to get everything. Ok? O-ok. Leave your ... key, too, I s'pose. Well, that's it. I lo- fuck! Bye, y/n."

The tears welled up in your eyes like they had everyday this week. As soon as you opened them to take in the empty space around you, in your bed, your bleak little apartment was a fucking joke compared to the place you two once lived together. And while you're the one who, for all intents and purposes, asked for this, you couldn't lie to yourself any longer: You did not want to be without him.

You did not want to be away from the man you loved with every cell of your stupid body. Every breath. Every heartbeat was the beating of a drum sounding out his praise. Every smile and every flutter of your eyelashes was because of him. God, you miss him.

But to just leave it at this? To let go completely? That would be an admission that it's how things will be from here on out. And you're just not ready for that to be your final answer.

Texting him back, in response to his call, you said as little as you could, still getting the point across. "Yeah, thanks for the heads-up. I'll take care of everything and leave my key on the kitchen counter by the coffee maker." You choked back a sob as you thought about all the times he set up the coffee the night before and climbed into bed with you. Wrapping his arms around you. Snuggling his face into your neck and telling you that he made it extra strong, just how you like it. And that he picked up your favorite creamer flavor - it was 2 for $7, so obviously he got you 2 of them because it would be fuckin' stupid not to. 

It hurts to breathe. It hurts to walk. It hurts to be awake. You have all day and all night to get over there and clear out whatever is left of your lives together. To leave the one thing behind that could get you to him at any moment in time. 

So, you threw on a pair of his old sweats, an old favorite shirt of his, and a hoodie with his Pro Hero name on it. Fixed your face. Put your hair back. Grabbed your purse and headed to your favorite coffee place to get something to appease this godforsaken headache you had brewing in the core of your brain and drove to his place.

You drove home. 

Taglist ::: @darkstarlight82 @millennialmagicalgirl @arlerts-angel

[blitzyn]

petty secrets

alhaitham x m!reader

request : none

Synopsis: Alhaitham wanted to know where you were going when you decided to go out one day.

a/n -> sorry ive been gone again

wc -> 2.4k

cw -> anal sex, anal fingering, spit as lube like 1 time, spanking, rough sex, he has a big dick lol, crying just a bit, brat reader, doggy style, cowgirl, multiple rounds

You had a deep frown on your face. "Get out of the way."

"No," Alhaitham said, standing in front of your bedroom door. "Not unless you tell me where you're going."

"I don't see how any of that is your business," you walked up to him, trying to find potential gaps in the way he stood. You attempted to squeeze through from a hole on his side, but he covered it as soon as you made a move.

Knowing he would do that, you made sure to headbutt his chest a little more forcefully. He only gave out a slight grunt.

"It is my business because this is my house you're living in," he did have a point. But still – he was secretive, so why couldn't you be?

"So that automatically means I'm not allowed to have some privacy?" you rolled your eyes. "Didn't know you were like that."

"What's so private about where you're going?" He took a step forward. "What are you so hellbent on hiding?"

"None. Of. Your. Business," you said through your teeth.

"Is it because you offer yourself to more shady people down some alleyway?” he questioned with a slight smirk. You knew he wasn’t being serious, but, god, if you said that didn’t get under your skin you’d be lying.

“What? No!” you exclaimed, disgust written on your face.

“Really? You’re getting a little defensive, there.”

You let out an exaggerated groan before tossing your head back to look around. It was your average room, with a bed, dresser, closet, occasional plant, a window…

A window!

You casually strolled closer to it, casting an act akin to defeat. Your shoulders slumped forward as your hands carefully undid the hatches keeping it shut. You bit your cheek, surveying the drop. You could probably soften your landing with your vision. Somehow.

Falling on the bushes seemed okay, too.

You briefly made eye contact with him in the reflection before opening the window as fast as you could. It seemed he got the same idea as he — surprisingly — jumped over the bed just as you leaped out. You let out a pained wheeze as you were very ungraciously slammed against the wall of the house, the tight grip his arms had around your waist making it harder for you to breathe. Guess all his muscles weren’t for nothing.

He hauled you back inside and tossed you onto the bed, where you tried to make your escape again.

“Stop moving–” he demanded as he dragged you back to him by your legs.

“No!”

You squirmed and thrashed in his hold as he pinned you to the bed by your arms. Fuck, he was strong.

“You’re acting like such a child,” his eyebrows furrowed in frustration. 

“Yeah? What are you gonna do about it? Spank me?” you continued to writhe, tugging your arms in a futile attempt to free them.

“I might have to if you keep this up,” he responded, his words taking you by surprise. You froze and stared up at him in disbelief.

You rolled your eyes soon after. "You won't."

"Are you testing me?"

"I don't know. Am I?"

He watched you with an intense gaze for a moment before forcefully flipping you over.

"Hey– Wait– I was just joking!" you clawed at the bedsheets.

"I'm not stupid, [Name]," he paused momentarily. "I've seen the way you look at me. I've heard you touch yourself to the thought of me. You could have said anything else that could be considered punishment for a child. But you mentioned spanking."

You couldn't bear to face him.

"Do you know why?" he leaned close to your ear. "Because you want it."

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you muttered.

“So now you’re lying?” he hummed. “Liars must be reprimanded, you know.”

He moved your body so that you laid across his lap. Your stomach slightly ached in the position as you held onto the bed with one hand for stability. Your vision was upside down, and all you could see was the underside of his thighs and your legs.

One of his arms was draped across your torso to keep you close to him while the other rested on your lower back.

“You’re not actually gonna do this, a-are you?” you asked, face burning.

“I am,” he confirmed, the tips of his fingers sliding underneath the waistband of your pants. He went slow to make sure your objections weren’t true, and when he received no signs of rejection, he swiftly pulled them off.

You yelped, clenching your thighs together. His hand smoothed over the curve of your ass, his cold skin sending shivers through your body. And, without warning, he suddenly slapped you. Your feet pushed against the floor, but his arm kept you from moving too much.

The thin cloth of the sleeve that connected to his finger softened the hit somewhat, but the dull ache that came with it hurt more than you anticipated. He alternated sides rhythmically, each spank starting to hurt more than the last. You uncontrollably squirmed in a futile attempt to find a position that would make it hurt less.

He pinched your skin. “Stop moving so much.”

The demanding tone in his voice sounded a lot more threatening than before, which made you completely freeze in response.

“So this is what gets you all obedient, huh?” Alhaitham ran his hand over the welted flesh.

“No it’s–“ you cut yourself off with a pained groan when he hit you again. All you could feel was an agonizing, dull throb in the spots he aimed at; you knew you would be sore for at least a few days.

He raised his arm again and brought it down harder than the rest, literally making you jolt forward on his lap. You let out a surprised squeal at the burn. Your noises turned into ill-concealed whines and groans when he kept going, your skin feeling hot to the touch.

“W–wait! Not so hard!” you exclaimed.

“It doesn’t seem like you’re in a position to be making any demands,” he reminded you. “So just be good for once and take it.”

He spanked you as a way to finally let out all the pent-up anger he had because of you. He loved the way you were finally quiet — save for the noises you couldn’t help but release — and how your eyes began prickling with tears. It was better than your incessant complaints about everything that displeased you, at least.

He slapped you to his heart’s content, giving you exactly what you deserved. It wasn’t until you were trembling did he finally stop, the burning feeling quickly transitioning into something akin to tingling and numb.

“Y-You done?” you stammered, meekly peering back at him.

“Are you?” he questioned with a raised brow.

You kept quiet, hanging your head in embarrassment before muttering, “No…”

He hummed in acknowledgement before moving the hand that was holding your back to the underside of your jaw, holding your head up. He used his other one to push two fingers into your mouth, uncaring of the way you choked. He rubbed them along your tongue, gathering your saliva before taking them out to prod at your hole.

You sighed as he pushed one then the other in, quickly setting a scissoring motion. He pushed them as far as he could go in your position, whimpering when his palm lightly slapped your sensitive ass. You could feel his hardening cock pressing against your side, so you opted to reach back to gently rub him through his clothes. His breath hitched as he brushed his fingers against your prostate in return.

You whined when he suddenly removed them from you, feeling uncomfortably empty.

“Hands and knees,” he said, rising from the bed to rid himself of his clothes. “And take off your shirt.”

You complied with a nod, settling on the bed. Your dick throbbed almost painfully, and you couldn’t help but softly stroke yourself. You let out little sighs of satisfaction as you granted yourself the relief you so craved.

“I didn’t tell you to touch yourself,” Alhaitham spoke from behind you. The mattress dipped under your combined weight.

“But you also didn’t tell me I couldn’t,” you countered with a huff, positioning your body like he instructed. He briefly pinched your skin in response, so you lightly kicked him.

“I don’t suppose you have any lube lying around, do you?”

You lowly grumbled curses under your breath. “It’s in the dresser.”

He left your side momentarily to grab it, returning swiftly to pour a generous amount in his hands. He rubbed it around his cock for a few seconds before inserting his fingers inside you again — for good measure.

You decided to glance back at him, eyes unashamedly straying down to look at his cock. They widened; he was bigger than you thought.

“What?” he noticed your staring. “Nothing you can’t handle, right?”

“Obviously,” your voice sounded a little weaker than intended. Oh, well.

He had a small smirk on his face as he finally began pushing his cock into you, forcing you to stretch to accommodate him. The burn felt so good, and you were suddenly unable to think. It felt like you couldn’t breathe, and it didn’t help that it was still budging in, feeling fuller than you’d ever felt before. He lowly grunted as he fucked the rest of it inside with a snap of his hips.

You pitifully trembled as you felt the weight of his cock pressing against your stomach. You literally couldn’t believe it, and chalked it up as your imagination. He had a firm grip on you as he pulled out, only to drive his hips hard enough to make the headboard strike the wall rather loudly.

Each thrust ebbed away at your surroundings, jaw slack, releasing your moans without a care for whoever heard them. His hips slammed against your already sore ass, providing you with more sensations to overwhelm you with. It sent sparks behind your eyelids, your skin, through your veins.

He rammed his dick so far in you it had your throat clenching like your hole was, strangling your moans and cries. He fucked you with abandon, bruising you in the best way possible. It was as if he was using all the anger he dealt with when he had to put up with your bullshit to provide the power into his thrusts. He was frustrated, but satisfied he managed to bring you down like this, even if he knew it wouldn’t last long.

The bed creaked noisily, which only mixed in with your whorish moans and his deep grunts. You felt tingly all over as his cockhead pressed against your prostate, your dick weeping copious amounts of precum onto the bed. You sobbed into your pillow as you were brought closer and closer to your orgasm. You let out a choked moan as the coil in your abdomen snapped, spurting your fluids across the sheets.

Alhaitham groaned as you tightened around him, pushing himself as far as he could inside you as he came. You felt his cock throb and twitch, relishing in the feeling of his cum coating your insides.

It wasn’t until a few moments later did you raise your head to peer back at him again. His cheeks were flushed a pretty red as sweat rolled down his forehead. You wanted more.

“Is that all you got?”

He rolled his eyes with an annoyed expression on his face before switching positions. You lightly wobbled as you processed the change. His multi-colored eyes watched you expectantly, hands resting on your thighs. You placed yours on his chest to balance yourself as you slowly raised your hips to start fucking yourself on his cock.

You set a gentler pace, much unlike the one he had a few minutes prior. Some of his cum pooled around the base of his dick in a creamy ring as you continued.

He slapped your ass again. “Go faster.”

You looked down at him and swallowed nervously. You couldn’t. You were far too sensitive to start pushing yourself.

But, like always, you just had to run your mouth. “You think I’m trying to make you feel good?”

You could see his jaw clench just as he dug the heels of his feet into the bed, snapping his hips up into you. This position made his cockhead fuck your prostate with a bit more accuracy than before, sending a painful — but arousing — burn to your cock. His arms wrapped around your waist to squeeze you to him as he pistoned up into you.

Your arms couldn’t hold you up any longer as you fell on top of him. You buried your face into the crook of his neck to hide the tears in your eyes. From there, you could hear every noise he made, which, truthfully, sent electricity up and down your spine. Every breath and grunt and groan he made was engraved in your mind for the next time you touched yourself to the thought of him.

Panting hard, his thrusts slowly lost their rhythm.

With a strained cry, you arched your back and accidentally rubbed your sensitive cock against his abdomen, providing you with that final push over the edge. You tightened and spasmed around him as he came alongside you, squeezing you as close to him as possible as his cum filled your insides yet again. With his dick and the previous load already there, majority of it seeped through your hole and down his shaft.

With a tired grunt, his hips plopped back onto the bed with you flush against him. The two of you lay there in silence.

“I was just going out to eat,” you mumbled against his neck.

It took him a moment to process that.

“And you hid that from me because…?”

“Because you don’t need to know everything I do,” you sighed.

“You didn’t need to try to jump out of the window, you know,” he looked at you from the corner of his eye.

“Yeah, but I didn’t feel like paying you in case I broke something of yours,” you explained.

“You’re not that strong. Calm down, there,” he teased.

“What? I am that strong!” you huffed. “You just haven’t seen me fight.”

He nodded with an amused tone in his voice. “Right.”

cross-posted on ao3

[her-power]

Last Chance to Dance (Part Three: Rockstar! e.m. x fem reader)

🚨🛑🔞18+++ MINORS DNI - YOU WILL BLOCKED🚨🛑🔞 TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNING (For entire series): Rockstar! Addict! Sweet! Mean! Eddie, smut, unprotected p+v, fluff, fingering (f receiving), masturbation, oral (m+f receiving), heavy drug use, descriptions of IV drug use, swearing, talks of anxiety, panic disorder, mental illness, talks of suicide

Eddie Munson Masterlist

Last Chance to Dance Part One Part Two

Summary: Full Summary on Part One

Word Count: 4.9k

I feel your hands on my waist before I open my eyes, your fingers trace a line down my abdomen, stopping above my pelvis. I let out a soft gasp and smile into the pillow. I feel your lips graze against my shoulder, leaving soft kisses. I feel you press your breasts against my back and your hand slinks down, grasping my length in your hand, gently fisting up and down. A soft moan escapes me, and your lips press against my neck. Your hands are soft, delicate and you pump me faster. I groan, turning my face to you, pressing my lips to yours. I turn on to my back, holding your face in my hand to deepen the kiss. 

“Mmmm.” I moan against your lips. “What a way to wake up.” 

You smile at me, pushing your body into mine. I hook your leg around my waist, kissing you deep. You continue to pump me with your hand while grinding against me; I can feel the wetness between your legs. I move myself on top of you; bringing your nipple into my mouth, squeezing your breasts and you moan softly. I grip your ass, kissing you deeply and I rub my hand against your clit and your opening. I groan loudly and push my cock inside you. You let out a gasp and I smile against your lips. It had been like this since yesterday; the snowstorm had finally let up this morning, but the plows had yet to come down the streets. I planned on shoveling out your car, but ever since we made love, we haven’t been able to stop. It was Christmas Eve, and I don’t think I’ve been sober for a holiday in ten years. I feel a small ache in my chest, and I pull away from your lips for a second to look at you. Your fingers curl through my hair, and I run my hand along your face, your jaw. I slowly rock my hips and your head falls back in pleasure; I continue to stare at you. How could this be real? How was it possible that fifteen years later we had found each other again? Over a letter? My eyes flutter close, and I bury my face in your shoulder, thrusting faster, you feel so good. 

I remember us back then, how young we were, full of life. There was so much passion, even when we fought. It was always the little things we fought about, how you knew how to get under my skin, and I knew exactly what buttons to push.  We had left Steve’s house after a house party. Well, you had left, because I was an asshole, and I had chased after you. It was pouring out. It was the middle of summer, but the rain was cold. 

“Baby, come on! I’m sorry!” I chase after you, stumbling over my own feet because I’m a little drunk. You’re drunk too, but you know how to handle yourself because you are a fucking champ. 

“You’re sorry.” You scoff, you’re picking up speed. “Sorry, sorry, sorry. You’re always fucking sorry!” 

“Stop, stop, stop.” I’m able to catch up with you and stop in front of you. The rain soaks the both of us, your black dress stuck to your skin, I could tell you were shivering. “You’re shivering, come on. Let’s go home.” 

“I’m not going home with you; I’d rather sleep outside.” You push past me, and I groan. 

“You’re seriously making a big deal out of nothing.” 

“Nothing?!” You turn towards me so fast it startles me, and I stumble backwards. “You told Steve that I’m a better fuck when I’m high!” 

“Baby, I was kidding!” I say, trying not to laugh. “It was a stupid joke. I didn’t mean it, I meant to tell him when you’re high, you get wild. And the sex is great—"

“Oh, because that makes it better! Get away from me.” You scoff, shoving me away. “I know he’s our best friend, but it would be nice if you kept our sex life private, that shits embarrassing.” 

I’m getting annoyed now, I was wet, cold, I felt like a drowned fucking rat. “Oh, but it’s okay for you to tell Robin I like getting fingered in the ass?” 

You stop walking and turn towards me. “She wasn’t supposed to say anything, and I was drunk when I told her that.” 

“I’m drunk now!” I almost laugh. “Baby, do you hear yourself? This is so stupid.” 

“You told Steve I was better at fucking when I was under the influence! That is not the fucking same! That’s YOU saying that I’m boring when I’m sober. That’s fucked up.” Your wet hair is sticking to your face, the rain is getting heavier, and I can see how cold you are. I’m able to grip your upper arms and you tense under my touch. 

“Sweetheart, you are the girl of my fucking dreams. Sober, not sober, you rock my fucking world.” You stare at me, your eyes darting from my eyes to my mouth. You lean in like you’re about to kiss me. 

“Liar.” You whisper under your breath and pull yourself out of my grip, turning away from me. I roll my eyes and groan. You’re walking faster away from me but still talking. “You can’t get shit past me. I may be fucking you now, but I’ve been your best friend since diapers, so I know when you’re full of shit.” 

“So, this is just what we’re doing? Just fucking? Nothing else?” I’m angry now, how dare you think that. 

You turn towards me, walking backwards. “I don’t know, you tell me Eddie. I feel like you have a fucking magnet to my vagina everytime you see me since we started having sex! I feel like that’s all you want from me.” 

“That’s not all I want from you, are you being serious right now?” I stare at you with my mouth open. “You’ve known me your whole life and you think it’s just the sex for me?” 

“What else could it be?” You sneer at me, and I shake my head, I’m pissed now. 

“Fine, think that. I’m not fucking stopping you.” Thunder booms in the distance and you storm away from me. We go opposite directions; you head towards your house, and I go to my trailer. Wayne was working another overnight and I was grateful I didn’t have to have a conversation. The rain was hard against my face as I run the few steps to the trailer. I run inside, the screen door slamming behind me. I pull my wet t-shirt over my head and toss it towards my room and light up a cigarette. My hair drips onto my skin and I grab a towel, squeezing out the wetness from my curls. The cigarette dangles from my lips and I almost choke on the smoke when I hear the screen door open and close, and you’re standing there, soaking from head to toe; your hair all over your face, your skin damp. You’re glowering at me, your chest heaving like you ran here. I put out the cigarette in the sink as we stare at each other. I walk towards you slowly and your eyes are still fixed on me like a wild animal. I grip your upper arms, and you try to move away from me, but I hold you in place. My mouth is inches from yours, and you sneer at me. 

“I really can’t stand you.” 

“Then why are you here?” I whisper to you; I tease my lips over yours and you groan. You pull me towards you by my hair, and we end up crashing into the kitchen counter. I hoist you up by your thighs and you kiss me desperately, wrapping your legs around me tight. You pull away from me again and are still glowering at me. 

“I really hate you.” 

“Yeah? Why don’t you show me how much you hate me?” I crash my lips against yours again, and your hands find my waist, pulling me closer. My hands go in between your legs, and you moan loudly. I push your underwear to the side; they were soaked from the rain and from you. You push me away by my chest, your hands in a hurry to undo my belt. I lean my palms against the cabinets next to your head, watching as you unzip me and pull down my pants, exposing my hardness. You kiss me again, pulling me towards you by my ass. I can see your nipples through the wet fabric of your dress, they peaked so nicely, I lean down and nip them through the fabric. You gasp and hold the back of my head, my fingers tickle your clit, and you moan against me, grabbing my dick. I scoot you towards me, holding your face in my hand. Your head falls back as I push myself inside you, and I groan. I fuck you against the cabinets, feeling every inch of your walls and feel your fingers claw my back. 

“I hate you.” You moan. “Fuck-I…” 

“Ungh, you feel so fucking good. Hate me all you want, baby, you’re not stopping me.” I moan when you grab my ass, pushing me deeper. You kiss me hungrily, opening your mouth wide, fighting my tongue with yours. I slam into you harder, your body thumps against the cabinet. “Mmmmm, like that baby?” 

“Fuck…yes…ohhhhh…” you bite my shoulder and I gasp, rolling my hips faster. The squelching of your wetness and the sounds of my balls hitting your cunt as I slam harder sends a blaze of euphoria through my entire soul. 

“Ohhh, fuck. Oh fuck. I’m gonna cum.” I groan against your shoulder, and I feel you move your hips with me. “Fuck yeah baby, just like that…unghhhh.” 

“Cum inside me, baby. I want my pussy to swallow you whole.” You say, staring deep into my eyes. I smile at you, my thrusts getting sloppy and I feel your pussy clench around my cock and you’re screaming. And I mean SCREAMING my fucking name and it sends me into a fucking spiral of madness and lust that I explode my entire load into your pussy, still fucking you. Not stopping for breath, your nails cut up my back as another orgasm cries out of you and you’re holding on to me while I hug your waist tightly. Our sounds loud and pornographic and it feels like the entire trailer is shaking. I pull myself back to look at you, moving your wet hair from your eyes. Your lips are parted as your breath comes out in waves. I hold your chin with my fingers, gently grazing my lips over yours.   

“Do you still hate me?” I whisper. 

“Always.” You say, licking my lips. 

I groan, smiling. “Good.” 

Down, down, down… I can hear them outside my door listening. They think I can’t hear them but I’m smarter than them. They’re trying to taunt me. They’re trying to break inside my head and feast on my brain. 

Both my arms sting as I crawl on my hands and knees underneath the windows. 

They try to mock your voice, getting me to open the door. You wouldn’t be here. You don’t even know where I live. What would you think of me right now? I wonder. Crawling on all fours, hiding from these imaginary creatures that are trying to feast on me. 

It’s not real. 

I’m not real, so they’re not real. 

We have two weeks off before we hit the last five cities of the tour. I’m in my cabin, in upstate New York. 

I bet these creatures followed me from the woods after my walk. 

What if Gareth sent these things? He hates me now, I’m just a junkie in his eyes, who still knows how to put on a good show so he can suck my dick. 

I had met my dealer yesterday; I was low on cash, he was willing to give me a discount if he could suck me off, so I let him, and then he wanted me to fuck him, so I did that too. 

Men, women, it didn’t matter anymore. If I got something out of it, I didn’t care what I put my dick in. 

They’re chatting outside my door now. I need to stop the noise. I crawl to my coffee table, blindly searching for a needle. 

I find one, and my stash, loading up the chamber with the drugs. I go to the bathroom to look in the mirror, my veins in both my arms are fucking sore, so I find a good one in my neck. My eyes flutter close, and I smile, awkwardly stumbling back to my living room. I couldn’t even feel the sweet burn anymore, it was almost like the burn was just built into my now. 

I sit on the couch. 

It’s quiet again. 

Thankfully.

I can’t handle the noise again. 

“Generals gathered in their masses…just like witches at black masses, evil minds that plot destruction…” I sing the beginning of War Pigs by Black Sabbath under my breath as my head lulls back against the couch. My phone buzzes in my pocket; I slowly take it out of my pocket and put it to my ear. 

“Eddie?” It was Ted.

“Did I miss curfew again?” I say and a stupid laugh escapes me.

“Jesus Eddie.” He says quietly. “Are you by yourself?”

“Nope, they’re outside my door. I think they’re asleep, they’re quiet now.” I tell him, curling my legs up to my chest.

“Who? What are you talking about?”

“I think Gareth sent them; they think I can’t hear them.” 

“Eddie, I’m coming to you. I’ll be there in an hour.” He says, he sounds panicked, then I begin to panic.

“No! Teddy! If they see you, they’ll hurt you! I can’t let them hurt you.” I feel tears spring to my eyes. “Please, man. I can’t lose you too.” 

“Just stay put, buddy. I’ll be there soon.” 

“Okay, okay.” I nod into the phone, and he hangs up. Part of me knew that whatever those things were weren’t real, and it was just my mind playing tricks on me, but they felt real to me. I know I didn’t just do heroin tonight; I think ketamine too. Cocaine? I had to protect Ted; he has done so much for me. I get up from the couch, taking the metal baseball bat I keep near my door. I swing open my front door, the hinges squeaking, and I stare out into the darkness of the woods. “Come on mother fuckers!” I yell out. “Think you can fuck with me?!”

I hear my voice echo around me, and all that talks back is the silence. I laugh, twirling the bat in my hands. “That’s what I thought, pussies!” 

I hear something skitter on the grass in front of my porch and I yelp, falling back on my ass, the bat rolling away from me. I scramble to my feet and run back in the cabin, shutting the door and locking it. I slide down to the floor, pulling my knees up to my chest, I keep my eyes on the window, I have to look for Ted’s headlights, to make sure I can get him in safely. They weren’t gonna hurt him, I’d rather die than have something hurt him. 

I see the headlights reflect off the window, and I quickly stand up. I hear his footfalls go up the wooden steps of the porch and I open the door. “Get in, get in!” I say, grabbing his arm and pulling him in, he stumbles into my living room. 

“Eddie, what the fuck?” He says, staring at me with wide eyes. 

I turn to him, and I whisper. “They’re out there.” 

“Eddie, there’s no one out there.” He tells me gently. 

“There is, there is.” My eyes are wide, I can feel it. I can also feel my tears on my cheeks. “They live in the woods.” 

Ted grasps me by my forearms. “I think…I think you’re gonna have to take it easy the next few days.” 

I stare at him, and nod. “Yeah…yeah, I need to rest. I need to…I feel like I’m going insane. They’re not out there?” 

“No, son.” He tells me quietly. “Where is your stuff?” 

“B-back bedroom and there.” I tell him, pointing to the coffee table where my needles were, my empty bag of drugs, and a few loose pills. He takes everything off the table, and I shiver, watching him walk away. “Where are you going?” My voice sounds younger, childlike.

“I’ll be right back, buddy. Just sit down. I’ll fix us something to eat.” I nod at him again and sit on my couch. Was this what my life was now? Constant paranoia, fearful of what walks outside. I look down at my arms, even with all my tattoos, you could see how black and blue my arms were. The track marks went all the way up towards my wrists, my arms looked skeletal. When was the last time I ate? 

Did people really still enjoy our shows? How could they not tell how fucked up I was every show? We were still up on the charts; Rolling Stone wanted another interview after the tour. 

I run my hands through my hair and shiver. This was madness. I was a fucking madman. 

The next morning, I wake up, feeling an ache in my stomach. No no no no. I try to move from the couch but every single muscle in my body feels stiff. I groan loudly, was I dying? Was this death? 

I look at the coffee table, none of my stash was there. I grit my teeth, trying to sit up. 

“Ted!” I yell, my throat was raw. 

I see his form come into the living room; his hair was tied up in a bun. I try to sit up but a wave of a nausea hits me. 

“You’re finally awake.” He says, putting a mug of coffee in front of me. The smell alone makes me dry heave. 

“What?” I hold my stomach, and grimace. “Fuck why is it so cold in here?” 

“You’ve been sleeping for two days.” Ted tells me and my eyes snap to his. Realization hits my gut, and I start to remember a few days ago. I told him to get rid of my stuff, that I needed a rest. 

No. No. No. No. 

“Where did you put it?” I ask, my teeth grind as it feels like my stomach is being clawed at. 

“It’s gone, Eddie. I did what you asked me to do.” He stares at me, and my eyes narrow. 

“Well, I was fucking lying!” I groan out in pain, my body folds back on the couch. “FUCK. This hurts, Teddy this hurts so bad.” I feel sweat pool behind my neck and my joints feel locked in place. “I need it, man. It’s the only thing that will make this pain stop.” 

“It’s gone, Eddie. I’m sorry.” He tells me, leaning back in his seat. 

“Fuck you!” I growl and tears spring to my eyes. “Why did you come here?!” 

“Because you were fucking losing it!” He yells at me. “Saying there were these things outside, taunting you, that Gareth sent them. Eddie, you’re rotting your brain with this shit!” 

A painful groan and sob escape me, and I gag. He brings a large cooking pot over to me and I vomit into it. My insides felt like they were on fire, nothing I did was making me comfortable. I clench my fingers against my stomach, my body was trembling. 

“I’ll give you Motrin for the pain.” 

“Fuck that!” I scream at him. “Ughhhhhhh. Fuck. Teddy, please, please I need something stronger.” 

“No.” He says, no emotion in his tone. 

I grit my teeth. “Fuuuuck you! Please, please man. I just need it to stop.” 

He leans back in the chair, lighting up a cigarette, just watching me. I wanted to fly off that couch and strangle him, but everything hurt. I was stuck there. 

I had passed out, the pain getting to be too much. I had taking off my clothes in the middle of the night and was just in my boxers. Ted was sitting in the recliner chair; some stupid fucking show was on the television. I had slid off the couch on my hands and knees, grunting as I crawled towards him. “I need…the fucking drugs, Teddy.” My voice is hoarse, and my muscles feel stiff. My head pushes against his thigh and he holds me back by my shoulders. I groan angrily; my palms were sweating as I tried to force my way through him. Tears pool from my eyes as another wave of pain hits my joints. 

“Please.” I sob. “I’ll do anything…I just want this pain to stop.” I feel his eyes on me, and I gaze up at him. 

He holds my face in his hands. “No.” 

I collapse onto my back, my chest heaving with sobs. “Fuck you, man. Why are you doing this to me?” He doesn’t respond. “Answer me!!!” 

I don’t even know what day it is. 

But I want to die. I want these withdrawals to take me out. I almost shit myself tonight. Ted had to drag me to the bathtub. I couldn’t stop crying; it was too much. 

I think I was saying your name in my sleep. Ted kept asking me who you were, and I finally said, “the girl that I loved and lost.” He said he never remembers me ever talking about you, and I tell him that it hurts too much to talk about. 

The shaking has stopped, my bones don’t feel like they’re breaking anymore. I still want to die, I’m feeling everything. 

“Get up. Take a shower.” Ted tells me, nudging my shoulder. I turn away from him, curling my legs up to my chest. “Eddie. Get. Up.” He shakes my arm again; I slap his arm away. 

“Get the fuck away from me.” I grumble. 

“You’re acting like a child. Get up, man.” He says, sighing loudly. I don’t answer him, and before I know it, he’s throwing me over his shoulder. I’m kicking and screaming all the way to the bathroom. I’m surprised he can carry me. Well, I’m sure I don’t weigh much. He plops me down in the shower and turns it on, the water bites my skin and I scream at him. 

“You’re a fucking asshole!” I scream at him, trying to get out, but the warm water against my skin feels good and I stop. 

“Clean yourself up. You’re starting to stink.” He tells me, throwing a washcloth at me. 

“I could fire your ass, you know.” I snap at him, standing under the stream, my hair soaking. “Are you gonna stand there and watch me like I’m a fucking mental patient? Get out of here.” 

“Fire me all you want, I’m not leaving.” He says, closing the shower curtain and I hear him sit on the lid of the toilet. 

“Stubborn prick.” I grumble, squirting shampoo onto my hand and putting it through my hair. I could feel how gross and greasy my hair was, it felt stiff. 

“I may be a stubborn prick, but you should feel lucky that I’m here.” 

“Yeah, so lucky.” I scoff. “Once we’re back on the road I will find a way to get high again.” 

“Okay, that’s your choice.” He sounds like he’s flipping through the magazine. 

“Yeah, it is my choice. This wasn’t.” I peak my head behind the curtain to glare at him. 

“You told me you needed a rest. Probably a good thing, wouldn’t want you worrying about little creatures crawling into your bed at night.” He says, meeting my eyes and smirking. 

“Oh, fuck you.” I close the curtain forcefully, washing my body until it was raw. I’m able to actually look at my arms. They were scabbed over; the bruises had a yellow tint to them. 

“Who’s the girl?” Ted asks me. 

“What?” I wipe the soap from my eyes. 

“The girl you’ve been moaning about in your sleep.” 

I pause. I feel my stomach clench and my heart ache, I let the shower rinse the shampoo from my hair. “No one.” I snap. 

“Doesn’t sound like no one.” He says, and I hear him light up a cigarette. 

I sigh. “Someone I knew, back in Hawkins.” 

“Girlfriend?” 

It takes me a minute to answer him. “More than that.” I mutter. 

“What happened?” 

“Jesus, Ted. I don’t want to talk about it.” I turn off the shower and open the curtain, squeezing the water out of my hair. “Hand me a towel.” 

“Say the magic words.” I hear the arrogance in his voice. 

“Hand me a fucking towel, please.” 

He pulls a towel off the hook and throws it at me. I dry myself off, wrapping the towel around my waist and I walk towards the adjoining bedroom. I toss on a long-sleeved t-shirt and pull on a pair of dark jeans. It was early spring, but up here, it still felt like winter. I throw on some thick socks and take my cigarettes off my dresser. The smell of bacon hits my nostrils and my stomach rumbles painfully. I really don’t remember when the last time I ate was. I walk to the kitchen, seeing Ted with a dish towel over his shoulder, and plates of bacon, sausage. He was making eggs now. 

There was coffee in the pot, I move past him to grab a mug and pour myself a cup. I poured half the sugar into the mug; I still felt shitty, but the shower had helped some. 

I sit down at the table, lighting up a cigarette, pulling my leg up to my chest. The Eagles played softly on the radio, and I close my eyes, inhaling on the cigarette. I jump when Ted places the plate in front of me and I glare at him. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, was that too loud?” He asks me sarcastically. “Why don’t you stop glowering at me and eat the damn food.” 

I scoff, sipping my coffee and biting into my meal. The taste and aroma of the breakfast fills all my senses and I have to control myself from shoving all of it into my gullet. 

Fuck. 

I forgot he could cook. 

I mean, breakfast was easy to cook but he used to be a chef so, he puts his own twist on it. I was full once I was done, and Ted had given me two Motrin which I reluctantly took. The rest of the day went by surprisingly smoothly, I had written a few songs with the acoustic while Ted sat in the recliner chair, watching his dumb television show. 

I decided to fuck with him the following day, to pass the time. I had some coins in my pocket, his opened coke can was in the cup holder next to him. I put the coin in between my two fingers and lined it up just right, launching the coin right into the mouth of the can. It splashed a little on him and he glares at me. 

“Lucky shot.” 

I take another coin, and the same thing happens, I smile at him. He shakes the soda drippings off his hand. 

“Don’t fuck with me, kid.” He grumbles and I launch another coin into the can, and I laugh. He throws his shoe at me, and I laugh louder. I’m able to get a smirk out of him, and we go back to sharing the comfortable silence. 

Evening approaches, and he had made us some steaks on the grill. It was a warm night, so we sat out on the back porch, the fire pit going as we smoked cigarettes. I lean back in my seat, staring up at the stars. My body still hurt, but this was the first time in a long time I felt content. 

“The girl you heard me talking about was my first love.” I tell him quietly. “And my only love.” 

“What happened?” He asks me gently, inhaling on his cigarette. 

“I happened. Well, my stupidity happened.” I sigh, letting the smoke billow from my nostrils. “We grew up together, did everything together. Her dad had died when she was a baby, her mom was a drunk. My mom was dead, and my dad was in jail, so we only had each other. And Wayne. Wayne made sure we were taken care of the best he could. We got older, and we fell in love.” I stub out the cigarette in the ashtray and I light up another. “This was a fucking insane kind of love. A lot of passion, a lot of arguing, a lot of laughing. She drove me crazy, but not as much as I drove her crazy. When I started to realize how deep my feelings were for her, I got scared. So I left.”

“Why?” He asks me. 

“I ask myself that every day, man.” I chuckle. “Doesn’t matter now. She’s probably happily married with kids somewhere. And I’m here, detoxing from heroin in a cabin in the woods.” 

“She sounds like she was one hell of girl.” Ted says with a smile. 

“Yeah, she was.” I smile back at him. 

That was the first time in a long time I felt at ease with myself. That was also the first time in a long time Ted, and I had sat down with each other and just shared comfortable silence. 

Should’ve known that I was going to fuck that all up again. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* a/n: hi! I know it's short, but I'm just preparing you for the next couple of parts. Fair warning it's...well, you'll see. *insert evil laugh here* My son is having surgery on Thursday to get tubes in his ears so I will leave you with this, and maybe about a week for the next installment, maybe sooner. Who knows?! Again, I love you guys. <3

[endcrman]

Allostasis

(Chapter 2)

As a general rule of thumb, Grian doesn’t do public servers for a multitude of reasons. This one hadn’t even made it onto the list.

TW for implied sexual assault, PTSD symptoms, Self-Neglect, and minor Disordered Eating

Read the whole fic here.

-

Grian woke to more messages. Some from hermits, but he didn't bother looking at those too closely, too preoccupied with the hours-old notification in the universal chat.

samgladiator: griannnnnnn

samgladiator: i know you havent blocked me grian cmon

samgladiator: are you mad about the redstone thingy? i was just goofing and gaffing you know what im like lol

Grian laid his head back against his pillow, eyes closed as he tried to figure out how to respond. His eye hurt. He didn't want to get out of bed. He didn't want to build, he didn't want to fish, he didn't want to work on anything right now. He was tired.

His comm buzzed again.

GoodTimeWithScar: hey grain, how are you doing after yesterday?

Grian: bit tired, but just fine! thanks for checking in

He was tapping out a lie before he could even think about it, not wanting to worry Scar. He had enough to concern himself with even before Grian was involved, he didn't have to add any more stressors to his plate.

Scar said something else, but Grian had closed his messages already, opening Sam's again, staring at them. What was he even supposed to say to that? Call him out on his bullshit? Laugh along with his shitty excuse of a joke? A voice in the back of his head was telling Grian to block him, but that would just make Sam mad, he reasoned.

Grian: what do you want sam

He regretted the message the instant he sent it, flinching as he turned off his comm again. Why was he so stupid? Why couldn't he leave well enough alone?

Grian turned over on his side, pulling a pillow over his head with a groan as the communicator buzzed. If only he hadn't just woken up, then he could fall asleep again and ignore all of this for even longer. 

Of course, Grian had no such luck. Instead he laid there, staring at the blank wall in front of him.

His comm buzzed yet again and Grian let out a bitter laugh, he could almost imagine Sam staring in anticipation at his own comm, waiting for Grian to get back to him after all this time. It was kind of pathetic, if that was what he was doing. How lonely was he?

And yet, Grian was reaching over to read his messages anyways.

samgladiator: i'm sorry.

samgladiator: like for real. no jokes. i know we were really messed up as kids and ive been working on it i promise. i guess i saw you and it just felt like we were kids again. fucked up but still in it together. i didnt mean it

He was still trying to process the words when another message came through, automatically populating the chat.

samgladiator: you can keep ignoring me if you want, i get it :( but if youre ever willing, i wanna make it up to you. text me whenever

He was going to throw up. There were a few panicked moments as he dug through his chests, silently pleading to anyone listening that he actually had a bucket up in his base, not just lost in his chest monster down below. His wishes were answered luckily, however unneeded, as he curled over the metal bucket on the floor, retching and dry heaving. His stomach was already empty, bile burning his throat, but that wasn't enough to curb the ill piercing it's way through his entire being.

Grian wasn't sure how long he sat there, bucket in his lap as his body tried to evacuate his stomach's non-existent contents. He was trembling when he finally managed to stop gagging, the bucket empty aside from a couple stray tears that had made their way down his cheeks. He was so tired again.

Shakily, he set the bucket down on the ground, easily accessible just in case. The sound of metal meeting the wooden floor was so, so loud in his ears, echoing around his base, making him flinch. Grian took a deep breath, carefully getting up on two wobbly legs before rolling into bed again. He should eat. 

He didn't get up, falling asleep again.

-

I'm sorry. Sam might as well have written those words on the inside of Grian's eyelids, as often as he was stuck thinking about them. Sam didn't apologize, that was part of what made him so insufferable to begin with, always convinced that he was in the right. So what the hell was this?

Grian wasn't sure how long it had been since he received those last messages from Sam, not really bothering with the passage of time. He'd spent most of said time thinking, turning over what had happened and what Sam had said in his head, picking at pieces of food he had laying around the base, and making up excuses to not have to see any other hermits.

He knew he was in a sorry state, and he knew he had to pull himself together before anybody saw him. Unfortunately, the universe seemed to have other plans.

“Grian!” Joel's voice was loud, Grian almost didn't recognize it as his own name, directed towards him. He pulled a pillow over his head, squeezing his eyes shut. Maybe if he ignored him, he'd go away.

That was too much to hope for though. Why would Joel ever go away when he could cause problems instead?

“Grian! It's Sunday!” His voice was getting closer, and all Grian could think to do was hold the pillow even tighter over his head. “It's Sunday and you're not at the permit office! Get your butt out here! Or else I'll come in, and drag you out of your birdhouse by your scrawny little ankles, I swear to-'' Joel's voice peaked in both volume and proximity the same time it petered off into uncertainty. Then, it was quieter again. “Grian?”

Grian just groaned in response, holding the pillow even tighter over his head, maybe he could suffocate in it. Then he would respawn, Joel would laugh it off, call him some names for being stupid enough to do something like that, and everything would go back to normal instead of whatever else was about to happen, whatever lecture he was about to receive.

No such luck. Instead he felt a touch on his forearm, something he instinctively rolled away from which left him looking up at the other, wide eyes meeting even wider. He opened his mouth to say something, but couldn’t force anything to come out. He noticed too late to stop just how tightly he was clutching the pillow to his chest, he must look like a mess.

Joel slowly withdrew his hand, and judging by how his brows furrowed and ears flattened against the top of his head the mess part was definitely true. Without wasting another moment, Joel schooled his expression into something more neutral— as if his tail flicking back and forth didn’t give him away— and sat bodily onto the foot of Grian’s bed, bouncing on the mattress.

“You seem busy, the permit office can wait,” he said with a shrug, not looking directly at Grian. He sat cross-legged, pulling his tail into his lap to brush the fur into place, pulling out a leaf and dropping it on the floor without even checking if Grian would care. His wings itched at the reminder of what could be. “Impulse’s wall is starting to get some graffiti on it, have you had a chance to see? Gem’s got a real good tag up there, I think you’d like it.”

Grian was silent, pulling his legs up just a bit so they weren’t in Joel’s way and shifting onto his back to look up at the ceiling instead of the tanuki in front of him. He couldn’t tell if this was better or worse than if the other had just confronted him about what was going on.

“I’ve actually been thinking about what I want to put on it,” Joel continued after a moment, as if the other actually had responded. Grian’s muscles ached from the sudden movements after what felt like days of disuse, leading to him stretching his legs out again, around Joel this time, but he didn’t seem to mind. “I need to put something up over by my base, I couldn’t stand it if it didn’t match my build, even if it was undeniably fantastic.”

He just kept talking, filling the empty air with his voice. Grian wouldn’t admit it, but it was sort of soothing, having somebody else around instead of just jumping from thought to thought, getting lost in them and feeling worse and worse.

It did start feeling awkward after a little, having Joel sit while he laid in bed, so Grian forced himself to sit up even as his muscles protested, at least a little, leaning back against the headboard of his bed.

“Thought you might have fallen asleep or something,” Joel joked once Grian had settled, making him look away in embarrassment. “I wouldn’t have blamed you, you look blummin’ tired, huge bags under your eyes. Something bothering you?” He asked, as if the answer wasn’t obvious. Grian only shrugged, not trusting his voice after so long, thankfully Joel didn’t push for an answer beyond that, coming to the same conclusion. “Stupid question, sorry. New question, when’s the last time you got out of bed?”

Grian must have made a face at that, because Joel laughed before managing to catch himself, snapping his mouth shut, which pulled the quietest huff of laughter out of Grian in turn. Just that by itself made his throat hurt a bit.

“Don’t laugh at me, I’m trying to be a good friend here.” Joel’s tone was light, and his smile made it clear he considered the small noise a success. “Hey, bed boy, let’s get you up and clean, how’s that sound? You go shower, and I’ll make you some real food.”

He wanted to protest, but his throat felt all closed up, and his traitor of a stomach growled at the thought of something other than stale bread for the first time in forever. Instead he pouted, petulant, and held his hands out.

“Yes!” Joel pumped his fist, making Grian roll his eyes. This was so stupid. “Sorry, come on, let’s get you moving again.” He slid off the bed first, taking Grian’s hands and helping him stand up. He almost fell at first, leaning far too much of his weight onto Joel, his legs wanting to do nothing but lay down again. “Careful, can you stand by yourself?”

It took a couple hundred ticks for him to stop swaying, and a couple more for him to finally stand on his own, wings spread just a bit to help him keep balance. He took a deep breath, trying to think of anything but said wings.

“Good job, you’re doing great,” Joel murmured, and it didn’t sound mocking at all, but Grian couldn’t help himself from ruining everything good that happened to him.

“I’m not a child,” he croaked out, voice rough from disuse, it almost didn’t sound like him.

Joel must have thought the same, because he looked shocked, though he quickly gathered himself again. “I know you’re not,” he scolded gently, too kind, “but you look like you’ve been through hell and back, and I want to make this as easy for you as possible."

And now he felt bad, guilty, for ever considering anything different than that. “Sorry,” he managed, even quieter, but Joel shook his head.

“Go get cleaned up, alright? I’ll make some food for you.” He brushed Grian’s hair out of his eyes, brows furrowing again, and he only pulled away when Grian nodded, throat hurting too much to say anything else at the moment.

He didn’t think Joel was going to find anything to make in his base right now, having neglected to actually fill many of the chests, Grian was lucky to have had enough bread to last him as long as it had. Regardless, he made his way to the tiny shower he’d managed to cram into the base, cranking the water heat up as high as it could for now and carefully pulling his t-shirt he’d been wearing for void knows how long off over his wings. He crinkled his nose, imagining the smell he’d become blind to and immediately feeling grateful that Joel hadn’t said anything about it.

Grian kicked off his pants without much fanfare and immediately dove into the shower, melting under the hot water. Now that he was made aware of it, he could feel the layer of grime that was surely there covering his skin, burning water finally melting it away. He carefully sat on the floor of the shower, barely managing to fit in the small space, especially with his wings. He took a deep breath, resting his head on the wall behind him, and just soaked it up like a fish left out of the river for too long, he chuckled softly to himself at the comparison.

He must have dozed off or something, because he jolted awake at the sharp knock on the door, and Joel's voice coming from just outside of it. “You alright in there Grian? Food’s almost done!”

“Y-yeah!” He called back before even thinking about it, regretting it immediately, voice scratchy. His throat hurt, but he didn't have time to worry about that, fumbling for the shampoo among the other bottles in the shower with him.

He definitely spent too much time just sitting under the water, so he tried to properly clean himself up as quickly as possible, so Joel wouldn't be left waiting. It wasn't long before he was out again, towel around his waist, hair and feathers dripping as he peeked out the door into the rest of the base.

“Joel?” He tried not to speak too loudly, not wanting to irritate his throat more, but he needed the other's attention. It seemed the other wasn't wandering far though, with how quickly he reappeared. “Can you-” He coughed. “Can you bring me clean clothes?”

Joel brightened up the more he spoke, nodding quickly as his tail swished behind him. “Of course! Be right back!” And he was off again.

He was back just as quick, and Grian didn't have the energy to ask him how he managed to find everything so easily, and whether or not his closet was left in decent state. Instead he closed the bathroom door again, pulling on clean clothes and already feeling a bit better. The sweater topped that feeling off, covering him like a security blanket. He shook the water out of his hair and wings before padding out into the main room again, catching a whiff of something that smelled amazing.

“Hey,” Grian's gaze fell on Joel, who was setting up a place for him to sit. “Your hair's a mess still.”

He blushed, shrugging his shoulders. He sat down before Joel even suggested he did, feeling tired.

“I can brush it for you,” he offered, setting down a grilled salmon in front of Grian, whose mouth was watering already. “I've done it for Lizzie before, I promise not to pull.”

“Did you catch this?” Grian asked instead, forcing himself to slow down before he ate the whole thing immediately.

“Borrowed one of your poles, figured you wouldn't mind too much,” Joel explained, setting a steaming mug down in front of him too.

He hummed softly in response, forcing himself to slow down after a couple bites and taking a sip of the tea Joel had made him. Far too sweet.

“I added some extra honey,” either Joel was reading his mind, or he'd made a face without realizing. “Your throat sounded pretty rough, it'll be good for you.”

“Thanks,” he mumbled, truly meaning it, whether it sounded that way or not. Joel was pretty quiet while he finished eating, puttering around the small base, occupying himself. Eventually he finished, pushing the plate away for later, and he heard Joel coming up behind him.

“I found your brush, mind if I take care of your hair?”

Grian sighed, a little smile creeping onto his face. “I guess, you promised not to pull though,” he reminded the other, head tilting back a bit.

“And I meant it!” Joel sounded offended, though he snickered after a second. “It'll help, you'll feel more like a person,” he murmured, and Grian felt him starting to work his fingers through his hair.

“You've been helping a lot already,” Grian admitted softly, relaxing easily into the touch. How long was his hair now? It couldn't be too much longer than he usually kept it.

“Glad to hear,” for once Joel didn't sound smug or full of himself, just genuinely glad. “How long have you been out of it?” The brush started working it's way through his hair.

“Dunno,” Grian mumbled, taking a deep breath. “Since… Since I last went off server,” he felt himself tense a little at the reminder, wings twitching.

“With Scar and Mumbo?” Joel kept his tone even, non-judgemental for once. “They mentioned your eye, was that what happened?”

A hand suddenly flew up to his eye, gently touching the skin near it. “P-part of it. Is it still there?” He'd been avoiding looking in the mirror since.

“Barely,” Joel assured him, and the motion of the brush through his hair started relaxing him again. “I only noticed because I knew to look for it. You said part, what else happened?”

He felt like his throat was closing up, eyes watering a little. “My- my wings,” he managed out, taking a deep breath. “Something happened.”

“Something,” Joel repeated, hands never stopping. “Are they alright? Nothing broken at least? They don't look broken.”

“N-nothing broken,” Grian confirmed, feeling them tremble, just a little. “Don't really wanna-”

“That's fine,” Joel murmured, and it was quiet for a moment. “With me? Or with anyone?”

He didn't know how to answer that, opening his mouth to begin speaking, only to close it when he couldn't think of anything. No, not Joel specifically, but he wasn't sure who, if he would anyone.

“I usually braid Lizzie's hair when I'm done,” Joel said nonchalantly, the brush regretfully leaving Grian's head, “but yours is pretty short. We could try a little ponytail if you want, I think it'd be fun.”

Grian shook his head, reaching for the mug of tea again. Knowing Joel, he'd gather up all the hair in front of his head, pull it all together right on his forehead… Though maybe not today specifically.

There was silence for a bit, comfortable, until Joel decided to speak again. “Would you tell Mumbo?”

Grian froze. Would he? He could. Mumbo knew the kind of stuff he went through when he was young, even if just vaguely. He was scared though, there was always the chance, no matter how small, that Mumbo would scold him when he found out just how deep that rabbit hole went.

“Careful, you'll shatter that,” Joel warned him, moving to take the mug from his white-knuckled hands, setting it down on the table again. Grian hadn't even noticed how tightly he'd been holding onto it. “Not Mumbo then, what about Scar?”

Scar. Scar didn't know any of it. At least, he knew less than Mumbo, he'd have less context clues to put it all together, he'd be reliant on the details Grian told him, and only those.

“... Maybe, I don't know,” he answered honestly, tracing the grain in the table with his finger.

“Maybe is better than no, or trying to shatter a cup of boiling tea all over yourself,” Joel was being dramatic, it wasn't even steaming anymore. “Why don't you take a nap? I'll get him over here in the meantime, I think he'll help, even if you don't tell him.”

Grian hadn't even realized how tired he was again, the thought of a nap sounding much more pleasing to him than it usually would. He didn't even think to argue, nodding as he carefully got up from the table, a yawn escaping him.

“Careful now,” Joel warned, helping him to bed. Grian would have taken offense at that were he not so exhausted, and the second he was laying down again he was out like a light.

[vigilskeep]

thoughts on handersbela? just in general, since you’re so good at thinking about dragon age

this is VERY good timing... i have been thinking lately of Them

i read a little snippet of andersbela fic the other day that wormed its way into my brain... theyre so interesting. putting them in a terrarium to study. with isabela’s avoidance of causes and anders constantly dwelling on his, they’re natural foils who can be lighthearted with each other and also have genuine discussion that brings out a unique philosophical side in isabela plus anders’ humour and slips of i think mixed frustration and admiration at the life she leads. their approach to relationships would create so many sparks (and not just in the bedroom. okay ive made my obligatory joke about them canonically having sex) with anders’ desperation for attachment while he can get it and isabela’s desperate avoidance of the same, and isabela’s need to take care of herself first and foremost and anders being self-sacrificing to the point of self-destruction. with my preference for red hawke i like hawke as a fierce solid support for anders and isabela as someone to lighten and distract; hawke to defend and stand by isabela as no-one has and anders to be gentler and affectionate with her as no-one has but also to challenge her to be everything she’s capable of. but with other hawkes there’s so much you can do too. the POSSIBILITIES

the idea of hawke holding onto them and them both convincing themselves they can risk having this one thing just for a little while... um some assorted thoughts. i think the classic arishok duel aftermath with anders desperately trying to save hawke’s life afterwards and isabela with her heart in her throat knowing it’s her fault is peak drama of all time. i think anders moves in and isabela always leaves in the morning and one time she can’t move because the stupid great big dog got in and laid down on top of her and she likes waking up with them so much and the whole day is full of light and she doesn’t come back for weeks after. i think isabela insists on anders’ terrible lute playing. i think anders doesn’t wear a hawke favour bc he has malcolm’s honour but one day he finds a hole in his coat skilfully patched with a square of blue and gold that doesn’t match at all. i think isabela never fights with as much brash cackling confidence as when she knows anders will heal her before she even stops to realise she’s taken a hit (obligatory “my hands look like this (glowing spirit healer magic) so my girl can look like this (sexy armour)” joke) and anders never feels as safe as when he knows he can count on her to appear out of nowhere to watch his back. i think she’d fascinate justice. i think anders is so bitchy abt her act break disappearing act and isabela snaps right back and that they always make it up to each other repeatedly. i think anders doesn’t understand why isabela keeps leaving and she doesn’t understand how he can bear not to keep moving

they both love hawke so much and they’re both so terrified of what it’s going to do to hawke, is the thing. i was vividly imagining them the other day (i really do mean it when i said this ask was good timing) and there was this rough wistful act 3 dialogue in my head that went like... isabela out of nowhere tells anders he should marry hawke and get out of kirkwall and have a dozen glowing children who talk too much. and he’s vaguely amused and disbelieving as they chatter through the hypothetical (“who’s going to marry us, then? the chantry?” “ship’s captain! right here! you get any old revered mother instead of me and i’ll scratch her eyes out”) but eventually he shakes his head, and says quiet, tired, “if only i could run away anymore.” and then he raises an eyebrow, and says, you should marry hawke. yeah? yeah, marry hawke, get out of kirkwall. have a dozen pirate children with no manners. win each of them a dozen ships to sail. and they laugh through the hypothetical and she says, “it’s almost a shame i’m not the marrying type.” and they both kind of sit there with the knowledge that hawke has lost so much and they’re inevitably going to leave them alone

and then because i’m a sap the last straw is isabela’s chance to step up and fight for what’s right and what’s hers without running away, and anders isn’t cast aside like he always expected but fought for no matter the odds, and hawke gets out of kirkwall and onto the open sea, sailing off with their loves to free the rest of the mages and to learn how to laugh again. and then corypheus rises and hawke is the one to leave them behind after all

also the champion of kirkwall and their bf and gf who can’t stop getting kirkwall burned down is, like, so funny. can’t you three do this at home.

those are my thoughts sorry it got long and silly and embarrassing its late and i love them both so much

[im14andivebeen14foramonth]

NO BC IVE BEEN THINKING SBOUT THIS SONCE STARTING THE BOOK AND IM GONNA HAVE A STROKE.

This book, just Alaska reminds me of a somewhat older ponyboy

In episode 6, Alaska Young disappeared into the night, crying as she drove away. She had just made out with Miles, and so — even with a hangover — Miles practically bounces awake, eager for the “to be continued.” (Umm, Miles, you still technically have a girlfriend, remember?)

But the Eagle is at their door, and instructs them to go to the auditorium. The Colonel (like in the book) hypothesizes that Dr. Hyde has passed away. But when they arrive at the auditorium, hungover and confused, Miles’ instincts kick in. He immediately recognizes that Alaska isn’t there, and some part of him knows. It alarms him so much that he even shouts at the Eagle in a very much not-Miles-like fashion.

That’s when the Eagle reveals the terrible news: Alaska died in a car crash last night after having a breakdown and driving high.

It’s kinda stupid ig but what do you think the gang would react, with them being older too, so everyone’s aged up about 2-3 years.

ooo i remember i started this book but never made it far, maybe ill go back and read it some time!

this does seem like a very possible thing for pony post-novel. he had been through so much trauma both mentally and physically, and there's no way that it wouldn't have messed him up a little bit, and seeing as he already has problems with addiction, i think him breaking down and trying to drive away while high is totally something that could happen

Darry

oh god, the sound of darry's body hitting the floor when he hears the news is deafening

he thought pony was finally starting to get better. he thought that maybe, enough time had passed, and pony's life was starting to look up again

he goes ballistic. furniture is being thrown across the room, glass is being shattered, and he just can't stop screaming

he asks himself over and over again how he didn't notice sooner. the bags under pony's eyes, the way pony's smile only ever stuck around for a second or two at a time, the way his body had been getting smaller and his once rampant imagination had seemed so dull lately

there's not a day that goes by that darry doesn't blame himself for what happened to pony that night

Soda

the sound that left soda's mouth didn't even sound like one he was capable of making

at first its just a back and forth of wide-mouthed silence and loud groans of pain, until eventually, he starts crying louder and harder than he ever has before

for days after, everyone can see the bruises all over his body from when he got down on his knees and began smacking his own head, torso, any inch of his body he could reach

he screams just like darry does, but rather than rage, his screams are filled with gut-wrenching sadness (and in the moments when they screamed at the same time, the mix of anger and despair sounded so similar that it was hard to tell whos voice was whos, their pain forming an ear ringing harmony)

soda was just beginning to picture his life on his own; now an adult, and with his youngest brother being so close to adulthood, he looked forward to maybe having his own money, space, relationships. now, the thought of leaving the rooms that his brother once occupied feels like a knife to his heart

Two-Bit

two-bit always had a bad habit of laughing no matter how serious the situation was. he found a joke in everything, and could always find a way to laugh

when he hears the news, the laughter just sort of rips out of him. he can't make it stop, his mind in too much shock. eventually, the sound stops sounding like laughter, and turns into a guttural choking noise. he can't get enough air in his lungs, can't get past the idea that ponyboy, the kid he saw as a little brother for as long as he can remember, is gone

for weeks after that, two-bit simply can't find the means to laugh at anything

all he can do is drown himself in drinks

and sometimes, late at night, he'll go into his sister's bedroom (and god, she's beginning to look so old now) and just watch her. and he wonders, now that it seems she's becoming all grown up, will she begin to nurse bottles of beers in the same fashion he had his entire life? will his addictive ways rub off on her? will he one day hear the news that his little sister suffered a fate like pony had?

he decides to keep a closer eye on her from then on

Steve

why didn't he let pony hang out with him and soda more often?

he knows the answer; it's because he thought pony was a little kid, even when pony had gotten to be as tall as him, had started showing signs of a beard, had been getting ready to start college

he was still just a little kid. that's all steve can think about

and what he wouldn't give to hold that little kid one more time; to rustle his hair, to fight a rumble with him, to bicker over the stupid little things

steve's knuckles are bloodied and bruised by the time the news has really set in

he sits in his home, surrounded by holes punched in walls and shattered furniture, thinking about how much that little kid really meant to him

for weeks to come, steve is, for once in his life, quiet. he can't muster up the energy for sarcasm or quips; not when there's no (not so) little kid around to banter back with him

oh boy this was a long one oops

[rrenzwrld]

i love eren angst omg pls pls pls make it extra angsty i wanna end that fic with a puddle of tears on my bed🫶🏾

everybody’s fool III + IV

pt 3-4 from my notes, pt 1 + pt 2

warnings!! could get a lil sad (i got sad while writing this so beware + mention of blood, fighting, and drugs

“Where are you going?” You questioned as you watched your boyfriend get ready to go out. He was dressing a bit nicer than he normally did so you assumed it was a party or something. You just didn’t know why he didn’t ask or tell you about it.

“It’s an assembly thing.”

“Vampires only?” You giggled, joking a bit because there was no such thing as a “vampire only” party, right?

“Um… yeah, basically.”

“Are you bullshitin me, Yeager?” You walked up behind him and wrapped your arms around his torso. He took your arms from around his waist and turned to look at you.

“I’m not.” He kissed your cheek before grabbing his coat from the bedpost.

“Can I go?” His body froze. The whole reason he tried to sneak this event past you is because he didn’t want you to ask about going. He knew how dangerous those parties could be and he’ll be damned if you got caught up in the midst of that.

“No.” He said in a stern tone that warned you.

“Why not? I could keep you company~” You tried smiling but it was having no effect on him.

“It’s not a place for you, Y/n—“

“But I don’t wanna be in here by myself.” You pouted and your cat, Milo, came and rubbed himself on your leg.

“See? Milo says he’ll keep you company.” You rolled your eyes. You didn’t know why you wanted to go to the party so bad, you just didn’t wanna leave Eren’s side now that you knew some things that you didn’t know in the past 48 hours.

“Let me go with you, please? I promise I won’t do anything stupid.” You practically begged as you put your puppy eyes on him. Eren knew he couldn’t resist you even if he wanted, especially when you were being all cute right now.

He glossed over his teeth with his tongue and glanced away from you before looking at you again. Eren really hoped he wasn’t making a mistake.

“Fine,” A bright smile appeared across your face. “Just really don’t do no stupid shit, okay? You slip up, you die. And neither of us can afford that, got it?” He didn’t mean to get so harsh with you but he just really didn’t want anything to happen to you all because you didn’t take it as seriously as you needed to. It’d be his fault if you got hurt or anything and he knew he couldn’t live with that or without you.

The excitement subsided inside you and was replaced with a bit of fear. Whenever Eren got serious with you, there was no room for jokes so this vampire assembly party thing must’ve been mighty important.

“What should I wear?” You asked your boyfriend timidly. Your softened tone made him feel bad for being so hard with you.

“Anything you want.” You rushed upstairs to your wardrobe to find something to wear

When the both of you arrived to the event, it looked like a regular party. People were drinking, smoking, there was music, and some were even playing games. So you didn’t see why Eren made such a big deal about you coming with him.

“I thought you said this was ‘vampire’s only?’” You raised a brow.

“It is. Look at everyone.” You looked closer at the people who occupied the space. They all had weirdly colored eyes, pale skin, and prominent red veins that scaled their bodies, just like you saw Eren that day. But when you looked at him, he looked as normal as you did and you wondered if you were the only human in there.

Eren examined your fresh face of fear and laughed a bit to ease your nerves. “It’s okay, Y/n. They won’t touch you if I’m here.” His large hand squeezed yours reassuringly.

“Eren!” Connie came up to dap Eren up with you between them. You recognized Connie from elsewhere but you didn’t know he was one too. “I see you made it.. and you brought Y/n! Hey, Y/n—“ He was coming in for a hug until Eren stretched out his hand in from of you to stop him.

All Eren did was shake his head and Connie backed off, but still had a warm smile towards you. Not like you really felt safe getting a hug from anyone in the room anyways…

“Want something to drink?” Eren offered and you nodded. The both of you headed to the basement part of the building where there was a couple coolers on the concrete. The party downstairs was almost as jumping as the one upstairs, just less people to do more things in the presence of no one but themselves.

“Water?” He handed you a bottle of ice cold water while he held one for himself. He lead you to sit down on the couch.

“Why didn’t you want me to come? Doesn’t look like much is going on outside of a regular college party or something.” You went ahead and popped the question to him.

“It may seem calm now, but eventually something almost always pops off and someone gets hurt,” He looked around before leaning into your ear. “And if they figure out you’re the only human here, it can get ugly.” You gulped at his sentence. Although it was scary to think about, this was your reality right now.

“I probably shouldn’t have came..” He didn’t wanna make you feel bad for wanting to be with him.

“No, it’s okay. You can sit and watch people do dumb shit like that guy over there, see?” He pointed to somebody in the corner of the room sniffing cocaine out of a random girl’s navel. While Eren laughed his ass off, you sat disgusted.

“Hey, Rennn~” Sasha stumbled over to the two of you and it was clear that she was drunk or had something else in her system.

“Hey, Sash… you alright?” He tried holding back a laugh and you pinched him.

“I’m good, it’s just..” Sasha came and plopped herself down next to Eren, smelling of weed and booze. “you smell something funny?” He looked over at you and then back to Sasha. You prayed to god that girl was only smelling her own stench and not the stench of your conspicuous strawberry shortcake spray. If you knew that you smelled delicious, they’d figure that out too.

“Anyways, Y/n come dance with me!” Sasha grabbed your arm and pulled you up out your spot. Eren took off his jacket and gave it to you before he watched you migrate to the dance floor with Sasha. While you were thinking that he was giving you his jacket to cover up your arms in case you were cold or something, he was giving up his jacket to throw off the scent if you were going to be dancing around everyone. Giving you his jacket made him feel a lot better about you being there and safe.

“I love you!” Eren called after you as you were being dragged away.

While you were dancing with Sasha, one of the few people at the party that be trusted with you, he went upstairs to talk to the rest of his friends in the kitchen around the island.

“You actually don’t look like a hobo today,” Jean commented as he took another swig of beer from his bottle. “Good job.” Eren glared at Jean.

“And you still look like a—“

“Can y’all cut it out? Yall been having the same insults towards each other for the past ten years. Aren’t yall pushin thirty?” What Mikasa said made Connie snicker a bit, receiving a hard shove from Jean.

“It’s called having fun, baby. See, you’d know that if your head wasn’t stuck so far up your ass all the time.” Jean clapped back.

“Damn.” Everyone else said in unison. But they knew that Jean and Mikasa were married so they were allowed to joke with each other like that. Their relationship was simple. Eren couldn’t exactly say the same about yours.

“Anyways, Eren where did Y/n go?” Connie looked all around the room.

“Dancing with Sasha downstairs. Where’s yours?”

“Oh, mine? She at home.” He looked proud to say that.

“She didn’t wanna come out?”

Connie shook his head. “Nah, she said we be doin too much in here but it’s pretty calm right now.” All of them could collectively agree but they knew that there was a possibility they were speaking too soon. “Anyways, do yall smell something weird? Like I’ve been smelling it but I didn’t know if it was me or not.”

They know. Eren thought to himself and prayed to God the conversation went somewhere else.

“Y’know what? me too. It smells really good though—“

“Nah, whatever it is smells like shit..”

“Smells like human.” Eren froze and internally panicked as his eyes scanned the room for you and Sasha until realizing that you might’ve been downstairs still. He excused himself and left his friends to look for your downstairs. He began to visibly panic when he couldn’t find you but he found Sasha knocked out on the floor next to the couch. He tapped Sasha but she was knocked out cold so he couldn’t ask her where you were.

“Fuck…” Eren nearly lost his mind as he rushed through the building looking for you. He could feel his blood rising to the surface of his skin and painting his veins as he began to think about someone hurting you.

“Whoa, Eren,” He nearly ran slam into Reiner before hands gripped his forearms tightly. “You alright?”

“Get the fuck out my way Reiner—“ Eren tried to go around the burly figure that stood in his way but he was stopped.

“What’s goin on? Can I help?” He took a deep breath so he wouldn’t snap at Reiner for trying to help him out.

“I-I’m looking for a girl with a black dress. She’s got long braids done up in a high ponytail and she’s wearing a necklace with a red gem on it.” The necklace was a gift from Eren a few months into your relationship. He told you that the gem that sat within the silver necklace represented the love he’d always have for you and the bond that tied you two together forever. You thought it was kinda weird at first because of how early it was but he knew he’d love you from the moment he saw you.

“Oh! I just saw a girl with really long braids come past here with a weird necklace,” He pointed. “but she was with some guy—“ That’s all Eren really needed to hear.

“Thanks, Reiner.” He wasn’t even sure if the girl that Reiner was talking about was you but he wasn’t taking any chances. He followed where Reiner thought you went and his adrenaline took him outside where the pool was. He saw you sitting by the pool talking to some weird redhead guy who he recognized as Floch. If he wasn’t infuriated before, he was definitely infuriated now.

People around watched as Eren aggressively grabbed Floch by the collar of his shirt.

“Eren! What the fuck are you doing?” You screamed as you saw your boyfriend attack this seemingly innocent boy in front of you. But when you looked closer, you saw a slight smirk on his face that left you confused.

The smirk on Floch’s face warranted the hard punch Eren sent to his nose.

“Eren!” You got up and tried to pry your boyfriend’s fists off Floch’s face by yourself but you were soon helped by a few of his friends as bystanders stood idly by the pool. All Eren could see was red as he blew his hands into Floch’s face. He didn’t even care about what he didn’t know, he knew the type of person Floch was.

Once five people were able to get Eren off of Floch, the smirk stayed on his bloody and disfigured face. While Eren was trying to calm down, you were slowly but surely losing the energy that possessed your being. With every blink of your eyes, your heart was beating slower and slower. One of the only things you could definitely feel was the strong and stinging pain on the side of your neck. You grazed your fingers across it and they became almost doused in blood. At first people really didn’t pay you any mind but now all eyes were on you and noses were stuck up in the air as you were looked at with hungry eyes.

Mikasa noticed how weak you were and came over to you with one arm covering her nose so she wouldn’t hurt you.

“Mi..Mikasa..” You could barely finish her name or see her face as your vision became blurry and fuzzy.

“What did you do to her?” Eren’s voiced made an impact that silenced the area but it was cold.

“Well,” Floch tried to pull himself to his feet as he wiped blood from his nose. “I had a little snack, that’s all.” He laughed. He laughed and this made Eren wanna lunge at the boy again but he was stopped. Even though his friends held him back with one arm as they tried to resist the scent of your blood, they were just as strong.

The other vampires in the area inched closer and closer to you as they realized your smell, but Mikasa held them back as long as she could, your body laying limp in her arms.

Floch lost consciousness at the same time, which gave Connie, Jean, Armin, and Jean time to let Eren go. As soon as he was let go, he made his way over to you.

“Y/n..” He pulled you from Mikasa’s lap and into his own, trying to tap your face but you were unresponsive. He held his hand against your cheek softly, not even paying attention to the fact that his hands were covered in not only Floch’s blood, but your own blood as well. Your soft plump skin felt cool against his hands. “Talk to me, baby. Please.”

“She’s losing blood, Eren. Fast.”

[nerves-nebula]

Hi um terrible sorry to bother you rn with a maybe loaded question but what would be each turtles biggest concern(?) issue(?) once they leave splinter and like move to the hidden city? I have a decent idea for donnie and leo but have barely have any for raph and absolutely nothing for mikey

This may or may not turn into something im working on for this tmnt iteration

not entirely sure what you mean by concern so I'll try to wrap my head around "issue." but even that's pretty broad, since they have a lot of overlapping issues.

so like, they've all got PTSD. just to get that outta the way. i think ive talked about this before but i cant find those posts sooo here's to hoping i dont contradict myself!

Raph: Raph mostly struggles with figuring out his identity outside of being a protector. he also focuses a lot on trying to remain present (not dissociate) and being more in touch with his bodies needs, as well as his emotional needs. it's hard for him to pick up new hobbies because he can't really tell what he likes?? so that's what hes doing in therapy, trying to figure himself out and learn how to better take care of HIMSELF instead of others. and like, see himself as a person haha.

Mikey: Mikey gets a bit high off of freedom and kind of goes crazy throughout his twenties, lots of sex, parties, magic drugs, normal drugs, he's down for whatever. he's kind of all over the place and he loves it at first but then he realizes it might not be a great way to live for him. he wants to have something to show for his life and work and like, find a community (while still being insane sometimes :>) and he ends up doing a lot of charity work, painting murals, and a bunch of other stuff. eventually he stumbles his way into a tattoo apprenticeship. His whole thing is basically figuring out how to be his own impulse control, with a side of guilt because he feels like he's the "least traumatized" of his brothers (he still has PTSD it just usually shows up differently than in his brothers)

Mikey also really, REALLY hates being called stupid (not as a joke, like if he fucks something up and someone says hes dumb or something). Splinter always said he was the dumbest one of them all and he acts like he doesn't care, BUT HE DO. it really gets under his skin.

Leo: a lotta self hatred on his end tbh. he spends a lot of time as the hidden cities protector trying to atone for his past mistakes. he feels both fragile and like he's walking on eggshells around his brothers because he knows that he's made most of their problems worse. he also feels like what he went through isnt as bad, because splinter liked him the most. so he's got a similar guilt thing going on as Mikey, with the added pressure of feeling like he has to "earn" his place with his brothers, the way he had to "earn" his place as Splinters favorite.

Donnie: Donnie goes to college pretty early into moving into the hidden city, which he's super excited about! he gets into a really bad relationship for like a year or two with Adelaide, and after that just kind of becomes more and more suicidal until he attempts to kill himself. im not actually entirely sure about the timeline here but yeah, he deals with a lot of sexual & relationship trauma as well as self esteem issues (literally only conceives of himself as pathetic and weak), intrusive thoughts, and suicidal ideation.

donnie doesn't feel like he'll ever be good enough for anything, and he resents the people around him for disagreeing because he thinks they're lying to him.

hope that wasnt all too rambly for ya!

[iheartyouyou]

SWEETHEART | Jeremiah Fisher

Summary: After your parents file for a divorce, you’re forced to move in with your mom’s friend until the divorce is finalized. You wished you could stay with your dad and your friends, but when you meet Jeremiah Fisher, that changes. And now you’re wanting to stay in the Cousins. Too bad things don’t last forever.

Word Count:

Part: 5

previous part series masterlist next part

Authors Note: I’m so so so so sorry it has taken me this long to get part 5 now. Ive been pretty busy and haven’t had the motivation to write, but i’m slowly getting it back!! Not proofread (like always) but please let me know if you want to be on the taglist or if I missed you! (it wouldn’t let me tag some ppl for some odd reason.)

You pressed your lips into a tight line, opening the door wider for Jeremiah to come in. He does, placing the slushies on the nightstand. He throws all the goodies on your the bed.

Taking a deep breathe in, you close the door before hesitantly turning around. There he stood— looking hotter than ever, his cheeks ever so slightly pink and a small smile on his lips. It turns into a frown, noticing the look on your face.

“What?”

I was supposed to be getting over my dumb little crush on you even though I’ve only known you for a few days and instead you decide to come over here with your kissable lips and perfect face and enough snacks to make me gain three pounds and now i’m mentally trying to prepare myself for either the worst or best night of my life and i really need to get over you because you have that girlfriend from the other night and you probably just see me as a charity case. You wanted to say that, but instead you forced yourself to smile.

“I’m just not really looking forward to watching a stupid movie about time traveling.” You joked, collapsing next to the pile of his snacks and grabbing the first thing you see— skittles.

Jeremiah scoffs, rolling his eyes. “C’mon! You’re being dramatic— look, if you get bored by the hour mark we can stop and you’ll get your” he brings his fingers up, using them as quotations, “free slushies for the rest of summer.”

You pop a few skittles into your mouth, nodding your head. “Free slushies. I’m making my childhood dreams come true.”

“Except you’re not because you’re gonna love the movie!”

“Whatever.” You mumbled, sitting up as you made your way to the Headboard.

-

Jeremiah was right.

You LOVED, the movie.

And you were only 30 minutes in. 30:16 to be exact.

But you didn’t want him to win, so you stared at the TV with crossed arms and flushed face.

The two of you were sitting on the bed. Pretty close to each other. Like, your thighs were less than an inch away from touching.

“Can you hand me my water?” Jeremiah asked, eyes glued to the TV as he bumped his thigh with yours. You didn’t know if it was on purpose or if it was on accident, but you did know that all these touches were making you flustered.

“mhm.” You grabbed his water, handing it to him as his fingers brushed against yours. Your eyes widened, turning your head quickly to stare at the movie.

Why are you overreacting? He didn’t mean to. He was just grabbing his water. And all the other times his thigh brushed up against yours or his hand brushed up against your hand? Accidents. Or maybe they weren’t— maybe he was just doing it in a friendly way.

Your body felt like it was on fire.

But you SWORE you saw him smirk at you after his fingers brushed along yours. Or maybe it was a smile? Maybe he was thanking you?

You were so caught up with your feelings that you didn’t even realize that it was the end of the movie, AND that Jeremiah was closer to the point where your guys’ thighs were touching.

“So, what’d you think of the movie?” He asked excitedly, a grin on his face. You eyes lingered on his thigh before turning to stare at him. And gosh— his face was closer, inches apart from yours, you could smell his blueberry slushie and all the other junk he had.

“Uhm…. what?”

He softly chuckled, “The movie?”

“What about it?”

“Did you like it?”

“No.” You deadpanned, looking back at the TV. You can still see him staring at you from your peripheral vision.

“That’s such a lie!” He stated. “I saw you! You were all smiling and shit… it’s cause of Michael J. Fox, huh?”

Yeah he’s cute, but you’re cuter….

“Yeah, yeah. I was only paying attention to him, didn’t really like the movie.”

Jeremiah hummed, “Looks like I lost the bet.”

You turn to look at him, smiling. “Yup. Free slushies for the rest of summer— how many flavors do you have again? I know there’s blueberry, blue raspberry— oh! How does the strawberry lemonade taste? I might visit tomorrow to try that. Or what about th…” Your voice trailed off as he brought his hand up, moving some of your hair behind your ear. You freeze.

It felt like your heart was beating in your ears, you’re pretty sure he could hear it too. Oh gosh, was he gonna kiss you? What if you had something on your face and he was just trying to tell you? What about in your hair? Does your breathe smell?

“Can I—“

“Oh my god, Y/N! You will NOT believe what Con—what are you doing here?” She shoots a glare towards Jeremiah. “Anyway, you will NOT believe what they did! They totally crashed my date!” Belly rambled, storming into your the room without warning.

You guys jump away from each other, putting more distance between each other than you guys have all night.

“Really?” You ask after a moment, of awkward silence.

Belly looked between you and Jeremiah skeptically, before taking her shoes off and plopping herself in the big space between you guys. “Yeah! It was so fucking embarrassing, I cant believe you would do that, Jeremiah. I never crash any of your dates.” She grumbled, grabbing a Laffy Taffy from the pile of junk.

“We were just messing around, Belly!” Jeremiah spoke, looking at you quickly.

“No! You guys are so annoying, ugh! Hey— I love Back to the Future!” She said, grabbing the remote and starting the movie over again.

“It’s like, everything was going so well! We were about to kiss-“

Jeremiah chuckles, “ironic.” What did that mean?

Belly didn’t seem to hear him, so she continued rambling, “Im so going to drown you first, then Steven, then Conrad!”

“Mhm.” You mumbled, slouching into your spot. What the hell just happened? Was he going to kiss you? Maybe it’s a good thing Belly came in.

Taglist: @mindflay3r @lexi-2004 @buckys2thicc @agoodmansaid @jeremiahfisherslover @yourfavoritefangirl @leslienjazzy @natsgaygf @justkayleighhere @puptails @simp4jackharlow @yobabygirlally @flyingkangaroo @oohbowie @whenmypartysover @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @medusaslilsister @maexxc @siriuslysmoking @obxstiles @pariahsparadise @wh0reforstefansalvatore @theyallhaveluv4lryicb @eevee0722 @totallynotkaibiased

[nicklightbunny]

been meaning to ask for awhile now and now I feel brave enough to, can I hear about the fanverse incident

claps my hands together . so this might get long you’re just going to have to bear with me . some details may be foggy in my head because it’s been probably a year since ive cared or really paid much more attention than what my friends told me to it but this is , essentially , what i remember the most and what makes the fanverse a fucking disaster

so the fanverse predates the Republican donation stuff by about a year . when it was announced i think the games that stood out the most to people were the joy of creation , popgoes , candy’s , flumpty’s , and the fnaf 1 remaster ( that i’ll spend so much time on . there’s so much stuff on phisnom alone ) . TJOC and candy’s don’t really have a lot to say on them , because the creators are normal people ( ? ) who just wanted to make fnaf fan projects , and if they could make some money via assistance from Scott by means such as selling on steam and possible merchandise , of course they were gonna take it

i don’t wanna say that the cracks started to show when the creator of flumpty was outed as a pedophile and openly admitted to it and banned himself from any online space to go better himself or whatever , but i will say that you could probably guess things were only going to go downhill from there when Scott made no public statement . i guess if you’re a dick rider you can argue that fnaf has an audience of children who don’t really need to be hearing a lengthy statement from the series creator about how pedophilia is a bad thing because Obviously , but he Has made statements about that before . he cut ties with pinkypills ( supposedly ) because of her comics that portrayed william as a pedophile . this isn’t meant to come off as a defense of pinkypills because she’s a genuinely terrible person , but one would think that a real life human person grooming a minor and admitting to it would be worse than possibly having someone read a comic that would have others perceive your fictional character as a pedophile . moving on

popgoes is being developed by kane carter who’s his own brand of something . he has such a bad tendency of saying stupid shit on his Twitter and then when someone goes ‘hey man this sounds a little stupid’ he will bug out and post some heated rant before going nuclear and locking his account , rinse and repeat for however many years it’s been . <- that’s why i joke that i have beef with him . because he did that to me circa 2020 when i made a joke about his old sister location theory about it being an underground sex dungeon or something He just had to make sure i knew at 14 years old that he wasn’t serious ! and it was a product of lack of knowledge of the time or whatever . i don’t hold that against him btw i just think it’s objectively a little funny . i think in terms of fanverse reception popgoes is still held in a really high regard because it seems to be one of the only projects that’s still actually being fucking worked on . if kane carter wasn’t such a fucking bizarre guy on his Twitter im sure that he’d still have a crumb of good faith left to anyone other than the people who have been following him since he made popgoes as a one off thing and probably feel some sort of obligation to keep going

Stares At You . and phisnom . phisnom is a special guy . he was the one who was assigned to remake fnaf 1 but make it Scarier or something . i feel it’s important to say that phisnom has gone on record saying that redesigns ( such as the ones in analog horror ) that just take the base design but make it grimy and ‘scarier’ are lazy and don’t actually add anything to their base design . i don’t inherently disagree with his take but seriously look at this

yeah man you’re really dodging the ‘making it scarier just because’ allegations with this one . i honestly think that aside from the joy of creation which is just like a really impressive fan game this was probably the second most hyped up one because it was being sold as a remake to the first and it was being funded by Scott’s money . objectively for the time it felt a little bit cool and i drew fan art for it ( which i still think is cute . i wish that phisnom didn’t suck so much fucking cock and balls so that i didn’t feel bad about looking at it but it’s whatever )

where the problems with phisnom reach a head is that he’s a cunt . like really just a cunt i don’t know how else to put it . there’s nothing wrong with someone wanting to have an audience of adults or whatever especially if the thought of having an audience of children makes you uncomfortable there is Nothing wrong with that , but when you sign on to make a remake of FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDYS you need to know what kind of fan base you’re signing up for .

phisnom’s twitter is 18+ , but he would get interactions from minors all the time . whether or not you blame the minors is up to you i guess but Again , when you’re posting about your five nights at Freddy’s project unless its just straight up porn it’s kind of absurd to think that everyone here is going to be a strong hearty adult . like let’s be so for real we all know the adults in the room aren’t funding your fan game .

what you probably heard is that after he played the ruin dlc he didn’t like it . since the dlc had just come out it had its recency bias and a kid replied to his tweet about it and then phisnom quote retweeted them and inadvertently sent his audience who aren’t stalking him for fnaf over to this child and send him gore and porn . obviously a person can’t control what their fan base does but when people were like ‘hey dude your community is sending a child gore and porn’ instead of making a tweet like ‘i don’t want you guys to do that’ he posted an ‘apology’ that just led back to a rick roll . obviously at this point he kind of just looks like an edgy child and people go to their lord and savior Scott Cawthon to get something done

by the way , i didn’t mention this yet , but this phisnom stuff happened in like July-august of last year , so it’s not like this was that long ago . that being said you also have to wonder Hey . where’s fnaf+ by now . because that was also the question that a lot of people ran back to . so you’re getting funded by both Scott cawthon and an audience of fans who are expecting a project that the creator himself managed to shit out in about a month , while you’ve been given three years to recreate some source material and you’re not done yet ? what’s taking so long ?

all of this combined into one melting pot led fnaf+ to getting canceled . go figure . scott never released his own statement on it because he’s off doing god knows but phisnom did , which basically said he’s done with fnaf and don’t ask about it or fnaf+ as a project anymore because he’s not completing it and he would like to do other project .

im sure there’s stuff i missed because of the aforementioned brain fog all the way at the start but yes . the fanverse is a fucking disaster . the joy of creation and candy’s are pretty good though

[moonjxsung]

STAR IM DEVASTATED so i have a priv twt acc right w some irls and this stay from stayville req-ed me a long time ago and i was soooo happy that i was mutuals w someone from stayville and i THOUGHT everything between us was cool? but today they unfollowed me and removed me as a follower and im devastated i dunno why they did that :((( i don't think they had a problem w me saying nsfw stuff cuz they previously tweeted things like "cancelling someone over saying smth nsfw abt an adult is stupid" and also ive seen them interact w nsfw minsung posts so i dunno if me tweeting smth like "i wanna suck flxs cock sooooo bad" couldve made them wanna break the mutual??? i dmed them too and i was like "heyy is there a reason you don't wanna be moots w me anymore </3" and not even minutes later they turned off their message perms and im devastated. its STUPID bcs they'd barely interact w me Sure but it felt nice to have a stay be my friend on my priv twt that's usually just for my irls and i </3 it's ironic that they did that too bcs just earlier today (before they broke the mutual) i noticed that my followers went down (i have a very low amt already. like. 25. not even joking) and i tweeted "yall dont wanan be friends w me anymore </3" bcs like. my followers are QUITE LITERALLY only my irls + a skz writer so i was (i think rightfully??) alarmed that the number went down!!!! man im just Sad about it and SIIIGH i know i shouldnt care so much bcs at the end of the day they're just a person online but the least they could've done was dm me back and explain why and GHFSDDSJHFKJADDSDSAAAAA you get me!?!! also im sorry i dropped this on you randomly feel free to ignore LMAAOOAOAO can i be 💫 anon? thank yew <3

(Adding 💫 to the anon list!!! Also fun fact that’s my favorite emoji of all time. Slay)

I feel like I’m the LAST person who should be giving advice abt this bc one of my mutuals and a very good friend of mine who I’d been talking to every day randomly blocked me on everything this week after me literally being there to console this person for every little thing and playing into this pretend homoerotic friendship we had even though she was clearly looking for another boyfriend and would get mad if I even called another girl pretty (???) I wish nothing but the absolute best for her but like…. The double standard is WILD. to not provide closure to a months-long friendship is just genuinely a very mean spirited thing to do imo.

(If she’s reading this, best of luck with everything and I hope you know I cared for you a lot more than you think I did. I distanced myself because you were clearly looking for someone to fill a void in your life that I could simply not fulfill, and I didn’t want to lead you on, nor be kept around like I wasn’t allowed to talk to other girls either. Regardless, I hope you know I used to sleep with my phone on full volume in case you called, and I deleted a page worth of poetry in my notes app for you I meant to deliver on your birthday. I also deleted your number so I have zero way of contacting you, but I will always be here if you need me. Take care and I love you always, I hope you still see me when you look up at the moon)

It’s not the first time I’ve lost an internet friend to the magical world of blocking, but fortunately the attitude I’ve developed towards it is that none of this is real!!! These are people on the internet miles away you’ve never met irl and they have no real impact in your life whether they remain following you or not. I’ve lost internet friends nearly a decade ago that I don’t even remember anymore. Better ones will come along!!! Especially stays! This fandom has so many beautiful remarkable people who are actually worth following and they wouldn’t cut you off like that. Sending so many positive vibes your way and I KNOW that the universe will send you some better mutuals. In the meanwhile I will be your internet bestie and I would never unfollow you for nsfw content or without some form of an explanation. And I also want to suck Felix’s dick. 🩷🫶

(I love you, don’t be so hard on yourself!!!! You’re wonderful, angel 🩷 anyone would be lucky to be moots with you)

[kawaii-butt-crust-core]

Rise of the TMNT headcanons because I feel uhhhsodk emotions or something

Warnings: anxiety , gore mention, trauma/PTSD mentions, kidnapping, yelling mentions, claustrophobia mention, if I missed any please lmk ‼️‼️

Donatello ( my favorite hands fucking down )

LOVES "it's always sunny in Philadelphia" and relates to Dennis wayyy too much

( also made a joke about how splinter is frank and he was actually cool with it )

Likes those HYPERBOP and songs like that

At 5am and raph is waking up for the day and he finds Donnie in his room fully awake

"Ive been up for 3 days everything is haunted everybody's evi-"

He also likes twentyone pilots

House of gold, taking my time on my ride, and car radio are his favorites

Actually hates monster ( like the drink ) but he has a can in his room from 2020 that he just poured out for decoration

( honestly I can't even really hate on it I think 2020 just ruined it LMAO )

Has no blankets. Sleeps with a single sheet and a unwashed unsheeted pillow.

Is one of those people that people mistake for way older

Yokai thinks he's at least 18-20 and get so freaked out finding out he's actually just 14

( he loves the attention )

He actually likes HOMESTUCK 😭

( this is based on my friend who likes Homestuck and they remind me of Donatello to some degree )

Has a fan that hasn't had a break since 2016

Maybe longer

Has seasonal depression

He likes to be with April or doing something during the winter because of it to distract himself

April and raph are good with helping him

Leo knows but he knows to just stay out of his way and leave him the fuck alone

And Mikey hasn't really been told because Donnie feels like he's burdening people with his problems ( he didn't even want Leo to know but he just caught on )

He even feels guilty for dragging April and raph into it

Him and Mikey LOVE LOVE LOVED spiderverse

( Donnie got the movie illegally before it even came out )

This mother fucker definitely fell to his knees for spider punk im so sorry

This same mother fucker also probably loved Danganronpa...

He doesn't really like southpark but some episodes get to him

LOVES GHOSTFACE

TO ANOTHER LEVEL

NO ONE CAN LOVE GHOSTFACE AS MUCH AS HIM

Actually probably has purple injected into his veins

"yeah my veins bruise in the blink of an eye and I can't move my body sometimes but so what? It was worth it??"

hates on dream so hard....

DONT HUG ME IM SCARED AKWNWJJF

ALL OF THE BOYS WATCHED IT ( maybe not raph tho actually )

He actually made discord ( idk if I'm even joking or not )

Would this be a good time to add a picture of what I think human Donnie would look like?

Uhhh yeah

Yeah I think so

Ok next

Leonardooooooooo

Just fyi this shit is gonna be so angsty

It will dip I promise

He can't get enough of those "drake the type" memes

But also low-key he is drake

Has a hello kitty clock in his room that actually works for him

He was that annoying ass kid who would say "I can scream like a girl" and then scream to the top of their fucking lungs

The ADHD was tooo muuchhh

So he just basically climbs walls who cares

He's on the ceiling? What's new.

Ok so spieerpunk had don to his knees but Leo was all for Miguel

" NOOOO MY SPIDER PAPIIIII- " *splinter right fucking there*

Daddy issues just crawling out of all of their skin ANYWAYS

Can't draw for shit but loves art

The way he words things makes him sound like a complete gaslighter but he's just stupid

"?? I don't gaslight?? HUH no seriously what did I do?"

The Mario movie possessed him for a while tbh

DIP!

even hours after him returning from the prison realm he was dissociating so bad he was crying to feel something

Just a few weeks later, he isn't better yet by any means he's just ok enough to function

Someone dropped a plate or something ( I probably need to rewatch the scene before I make headcanons for it LMAO ) or dropped a pot, something loud

And he practically went down with it

He fell to the floor and stayed there for a bit

He didn't cry or say anything

Then Mikey tapped his shoulder and he fucking SNAPPED

He will never forgive himself

🫶🏼

The CRUCIAL NIGHTMARESS

*rubs my hands in evilness*

He could feel the same AIR as the prison realm at times

He smelt the same scent

Raph, draxum, and Casey had to sleep in the same room for a while so they would hear him

But sometimes he didn't loudly jerk himself awake

Sometimes it played through and he woke up and didn't make a peep

Sometimes they knew and sometimes they didn't

Most of the time one of them would just wake up because of instinct and see him just frozen

Can't handle gore now

He used to but can't anymore

It reminds him of 1

The kraang

And 2

Seeing his brothers eye all fucked up like that was too much

There were times he didn't even know who he was anymore

He was scared to leave his room for a while and felt such bad guilt for it

While they're out on a mission and Leo's just curled up in his room blowing up raphs phone

Raph wishes he could say something like "oh how the tables have turned" but this isn't what he wanted at all

Uhh ok sudden switch up

HE LOVES BO BURNHAMMMM

Him and Don and Mikey listen to Will Wood

SHAYFER JAMES TOO

JUST THOSE TYPES OF ARTIST

Mixed with late 90s to early 2000s

"erm.... what da flip ;-; NO STFU IM JUST KIDDING STOP BULLYING ME ITS A JOKE-"

Him if he was a hummmaannn

+ maybe some scars on his back

Raphael

Blind in his one eye and low-key has bad eyesight in his other one

He can still see decently but it's pretty much fucked

He likes squishmellows but he knows Mikey LOVES them so if he buys/ finds one, he'll give it to Mikey

He's more of a "childhood stuff animal nostalgia" anyways

Doesn't like to cuss but if he's REALLY scared, he'll let a loud and quick "FUCK -" slip out of his mouth

Or if he's angry hell mumble "this bitch-" or something like that

He feels like he's not doing enough as a brother but genuinely forgets that he needs to take care of himself

Not physically but more so emotionally

He beats himself up when making a mistake even if it was out of kindness

He doesn't think things all the way through and just immediately jumps to "I wanna help people!"

And ends up making a bigger mess so he feels like a bad person

( people have reassured him he's not but he plays back how people get mad at him when he messes up and he doesn't know how to forgive himself if someone got THAT mad at him )

He sometimes just gets this burst of love and just hugs one of his siblings or friends

I think he doesn't develop feelings easily ( infact it's kinda hard for him to, not in a bad way )but one time there was a yokai, about his size, and they really enjoyed each other

He didn't tell anyone but he got her number and they still talk and he might have small feelings for her

The reason he hates being alone because it's a PTSD thing ( that only got worse after the kraang thing )

( he was alone and in danger for most of the movie, the only reason he wasn't freaking out because he knew if he did he was fucked )

And he got possessed before he could even lose his shit

But basically I think he got kidnapped by a hunter and held him captive ( either chained, or in a cage ) for 2 days before splinter found him

( yes they searched for him for 2 days )

The hunter would shoot his gun next to the cage ( or restraints ) he was in to purposely mess with him

And if he cried he would get in his face and start yelling until raph forced himself to stop crying because of fear

It was traumatic

Splinter has his own trauma from losing his fucking kid for 2 days, but it still fucks with raph badly

He still remembers it so vividly that it feels like it had only happened a week ago

So add that in top of the kraang doing what they did to him.....

He was only holding it together for Leo tbh

He can't go to certain areas or he'll start to hear the hunter yelling in his face again, like a hallucination

It's gotten a little bit better over time but the kraang set him so far back

He was also already claustrophobic, but if anyone tries to hold him down now he just immediately throws them off

And hard

Anything that really reminds him too much of the past he just starts freaking out

So he doesn't like to be alone :)

I could do a separate post for this maybe

But moving on

Any early 2000s song from anyone or any 2000 themed song is his SHIT

They did a karaoke night and he did Brittany spears ( yes I know that's like late 90s but yk THAT CATEGORY )

He put on a blonde wig tho and was actually kinda feeling it at some point

He LOVES walking around at night

Just strolling

He loves food. He eats everything

There is nothing he won't eat

He just loves everything

I forgot his scar sadly but here 😔‼️💔

( the nose piercing is fake he's too scared to get one HELP )

Mikey:

This lil shit STEALS

HE USES HIS INNOCENCE TO HIS ADVANTAGE

And I sleeps fine at night with all of it in his room.

ADVENTURE TIMEEE

he loves cartoons

Adult cartoons, children cartoons

If it's animated he wants it injected into his spinal fluid

His music taste is everything

But he really likes indie / indie rock songs

Has all of his art and drawings hung up on his walls

There's maybe one or.two posters he actually bought the rest is his art

Loves spiderverse but he couldn't even enjoy it because he kept looking at Leo crazy with this out of pocket comments

"I wanna pick him up like a baby lion and wash him and feed him milk and release him back into the wild"

"*deadpan* Leo. What the actual hell."

Draxums favorite. Only Mikey knows he's his favorite. If anyone asks drax who his favorite is he says he hates everyone equally and looks over at Mikey

Speaking of drax I think they're vent buddies

Drax vents to him Mikey vents to drax

Drax was very helpful with all of them during the time they were all fucked up from kraang

He even got them into therapy but I'm gonna make a draxum section because I love him ( I lied he's my favorite character, then Donnie)

( God I love drax and Mikey so much let me go on a rant rq )

Apart of draxs training he could definitely pass as a licensed therapist

So if really anyone has some sort of mental thing going on he's there

Even for Leo ( even tho Leo didn't really want his help, that quickly changed tho, again I'll just put this in his section✨ )

But Mikey has these really bad panic attacks that even his brothers don't know about

Only splinter and drax

Splinter is there to comfort him and drax is there to let him talk about it

Mikey doesn't want his brothers to know because he's technically the "therapist" so splinter and drax will never tell anyone

Watched MSA just to make fun of it

Also says cringe shit because he thinks it's funny like Leo

"GYATTTTT....... Y'all know I'm joking right-"

Loves Lilo and stitch

Has an art Instagram with over 1000 followers

LOVES SPICY FOOD

He ate the spiciest chip and then asked for another

Loves spooky month

Fought leo for that damn hello kitty clock

Then stole it

" I'm in your walls :3"

He ate a like 2 handfuls of orbeez when he was 5 before splinter caught him

HUMAN

Draxum:

MY ACTUAL FAVORITE FUCKING CHARACTER AAAAAAAAA

YES I absolutely believe he could qualify as a therapist and he absolutely uses that to his advantage

Leo was still "ish" about draxum but he became a lot more appreciative of him during the times that raph and Casey couldn't be there ( like missions )

He even took time out of work to be there

If he called? He's already almost there

He absolutely a mom IDC he even has the messy mom bun

Mikey calls him dad and that's part of the reason he's his favorite

"honey, it was ruined when she bought it *snaps*" ( I'm sorry ) ( I have to draw this now)

LOVESS BLANKETS

Like all the blankets

The resting bitch face is so real

He has to be leaping for joy happy to maintain a happy face

Goes to Donnies room and tells him to lay his ass down ( he doesnt )

Sends millennial memes to the boys....

*insert a cat smashing on a piano* he's wheezing.

Him and Mikey paint together sometimes

Because he can actually paint super fucking good

Scars all around his body

HUMAN FORMMM

Thats all ill probably make more for April and Casey and splinter