#but I also know that how they’ve treated me growing up has forever impacted our relationship

[nope-body]

.

[billiewena]

since I never made a post for these, here are all of MY ideal endings for sam (and how I would do them) that I spite-wrote after a coworker told me about how perfect his finale was <3

HUNTER NETWORK ENDING: Sam establishes an official network for the American hunters, leading a new generation of hunters as the antithesis of John Winchester. One of the final shots is a montage of all the hunters working and saving people all across the country, proving the Winchesters are no longer alone in the world.

SAMWITCH ENDING: Sam becomes a full-fledged witch thanks to all the magic supplies he inherited from Rowena and blends hunting/witch shenanigans. He can still be powerful but now he gets to choose where that power comes from. Okay this is basically Goldenrod Revisions, leave me alone.

SEPARATE WAYS ENDING: Sam and Dean both alive but living / hunting apart, going their separate ways like a parent and child who is finally leaving the nest. Sam gets the independence he always wanted while also getting to keep his brother in his life, because this is the ultimate proof that Dean trusts him. For the first time, they can move on without the reason being the other is dead. They no longer doubt they will always be there for each other even if they’re not living under the same roof anymore. The episode ends with Sam breaking into Dean’s [insert post-finale residence of choice here] in a callback to the pilot, saying he was in the area for a hunt. The last lines are Sam asking if he wanted to reunite for the hunt for old’s time sake and Dean saying “looks we got work to do.”

PODCASTER ENDING: Sam starts a podcast about the supernatural discussing urban American legends, myths, and mysteries that also helps viewers know what to look for and maybe even teaches them to defend themselves. Some take it as fiction, some use what he tells them to save their lives. It hits the top of the paranormal/mystery charts. The Ghostfacers, whose attempt to get into podcasting failed, ARE livid.

THEY BOTH DIE AT THE END: Sam and Dean both die in a blaze of glory, sacrificing themselves to defeat Chuck and bring back the rest of the world. They both get a moment to say an emotional goodbye to Jack and to each other. The two get a massive hunter’s funeral where all the past hunters come to mourn them and talk about their impact. Jody’s speech probably makes us cry. They get to Heaven at the same time, where they are greeted by all their past friends and family at the Roadhouse. On Earth, they live on forever as urban legends and heroes.

SAM & ROWENA ENDING: Sam says #FuckHeaven and spends his afterlife in hell as the consort to Queen Rowena, drinking margaritas all day, living his best life and stopping any demon uprisings in their tracks. Anytime they give him a hard time, he reminds them that he was Azazel’s boyking and they’re just Random Demon #489. What are THEY doing with their life.

SAM & EILEEN ENDING #1 - MARRIED HUNTER LIFE EDITION: Sam and Dean both survive and continue to hunt / live together, except now Eileen and Castiel are around and live in the bunker with them too after Cas was saved in [insert Empty rescue scenario of your choice.] Sam has some deja vu to the vision he had of all four of them living together in 15x09. He realizes that this is actually real and not a vision; that they are actually together, at peace and beat Chuck. The episode ends with them going to have the movie night that they never got to have in the vision. As Eileen takes his hand to go to the movie room, you see two engagement rings on their hands. Sam realizes that his journey may have started with losing Jessica but he found love again, and that while once upon a time all he and Eileen wanted was revenge, they’ve finally both found peace.

SAFE HOUSE ENDING: Sam starts a trauma center/safe house situation for hunters and ex-monsters to recover and heal, dedicating his life to proving that no one is beyond saving and everyone can redeem themselves and defy fate like he had. Mia Vallens, the shapeshifting grief counselor, is on payroll.

SAM IS THE AUTHOR NOW ENDING: Sam narrates the finale the same way Chuck did for the original series finale "Swan Song", further proving that they are now in control in their story. We get Sam's POV as he tells us what happened to all the other hunters and side characters, as well as him and his brother, with flashbacks from all fifteen seasons and young Sam & Dean growing up together. The episode ends with the reveal that Sam actually finishing the journal entries for the Winchester family's edition of the Men of Letters Bestiary, putting the finishing touches on some monster entries and his own personal anecodotes. He treats the Bestiary like a journal, in a callback to After-School Special where Sam almost became a writer and wrote about his and his family's hunting stories.

BABY JACK ENDING: Sam raises Baby!Jack after he is de-aged and “falls” to Earth in the same fashion the angel Anna once did. Baby!Jack wears overalls that don’t say his name in giant letters because Sam is a good parent who would never do that to his child. The two have a happy life as an adopted father/son duo who defied everything Lucifer and Heaven wanted them to be.

SAM & EILEEN ENDING #2 - EUROTRIP EDITION: Sam going on a year-long vacation around the world now that he has a cool Irish girlfriend who is not afraid of planes, leading to a fun exploration of the supernatural in foreign countries. Who is Dean.

DOG SHELTER OWNER: Sam owns a dog shelter and gets to walk at least ten dogs a day. Jack helps out and Miracle is the HBIC. Life is good.

CHUCK WINS ENDING: Sam lives and Dean dies, Sam throws a funeral for him that no one attends but him and a dog, and moves to the suburbs to live a generic white picket fence life with an unidentifiable wife. As a montage of Sam’s life plays, the camera pans away what looks like a computer and Chuck’s old office. A string of quotes can be heard in the background (“we’re just hamsters running around in a cage” “what would you rather have: peace or freedom?” “I can do anything...I’m a writer” “We will never give you the ending that you want / We’ll see”). The final shot is Jack, dressed in Chuck’s clothes and glasses and using his mannerisms, typing away at a typewriter. He writes “The End” but punctuates it with a question mark instead of a period. His computer screen and our TV screen both go black.

[elizabeethan]

Ripple

An Overboard addition

Emma gets Killian an anniversary gift, kind of

This is purely gratuitous fluff for @the-darkdragonfly because she deserves it

Rated T

~1500 words

Read on Ao3

Read the Rest

Read my Other Stuff

~~~~

There are few things that can make Killian Jones feel as alive as the sea does. The whipping wind that tousles his hair, the crashing waves that spray him with ocean mist and rock his boat from side to side, forcing him to counterbalance himself so as to not topple over. Very few things in this world make Killian feel as free as the sea does.

Among the few things that bring him to life are his boat. It’s something he spent years working towards, his title of captain a badge that he wears proudly each day. It’s a reminder that tragedy and hardship could not defeat him.

And then there’s the thrill that comes with catching monstrous Bluefin Tuna. It's a battle he’s won countless times, but he’s lost countless times as well, and each time he pulls one onto his deck, the pride that swells in his chest is almost painful.

Although there is a short list of things that bring him to life, nothing can compare to the way he feels when he’s with-- when he even thinks about-- his wife.

“There’s a special surprise waiting for you when you get home,” she tells him in a low, sultry voice when she calls him that day. It’s a strong reminder that it’s their first wedding anniversary, and the tone of her delivery sends impure thoughts through his mind and makes his cock do impure things while he’s at work.

“What is it?” he asks uselessly, knowing she won’t cooperate.

With the very giggle he expected, she answers, “I can’t tell you that.”

“Will I like the surprise?” he asks, voice matching hers.

“I think so.”

His wife is fire. She’s heat and passion and infallibility all rolled into one flawless, beautiful package. He maintains easily that he’s the luckiest man alive, the luckiest man to ever live again, because he has been given the privilege of marrying Emma Swan. There is nothing that will ever make him feel the way it feels to be with her-- not his boat, not catching a monster tuna, not the sea.

He’s almost tempted to call it a day, turn towards the docks and leave his mates high and dry and without much of a paycheck, but he knows he can’t do that. All he can do is think back to nearly a week ago, just before he’d left for this trip, when she reminded him very cleverly and very salaciously that their special day was up-and-coming by making him come in her mouth and smirking in satisfaction when she succeeded.

All he can do is consider what color his special surprise could be, how it will look contrasting against her creamy skin, how it will feel in his fingers when he peels it off of her.

~~~~

She’s not at the docks like she usually likes to be when he arrives home. She uses it as an excuse to visit with her father, and she also likes to tell Killian that her presence when his catch is weighed and appraised for quality is good luck. But today, she isn’t here.

He takes his check and helps his mates clean the boat, but they can tell that his mind is elsewhere. Will practically chastises him, claiming that he’s too horny for his own good and insisting that he go home to his fit bird of a wife, earning himself a slap upside his head.

The house is mysteriously quiet when he gets home, creeping through the front door and excitedly looking around every corner as he walks through. It becomes obvious that she isn’t inside when he gets to the kitchen in the back of the small cottage they share, and when he looks out the swinging porch door, he sees her.

She’s fully clothed, but she still looks beautifully irresistible, so he steps outside with a growing smirk. He isn’t sure what she could be doing in the backyard at nearly dusk, and he becomes even more confused when he watches her squat down on her knees and hold her arms out, excitedly cooing and cheering at something around the corner that he can’t see yet.

“Come on, baby!” she calls happily, grin bright and beaming in the setting sun. “Come on!”

“Emma?” he asks through his confusion, making her look up and greet him with stunning beauty. “What are you…?”

It becomes clear so quickly, the pieces of the puzzle falling into place suddenly when he hears the jingle. A small, clumsy creature flops its way across the yard that they share, nearly tripping over its too-large feet. She calls for it once more, shrieking and laughing when it bounds into her arms, knocking her onto her back.

A smile grows across Killian’s face almost instantly. He couldn’t even hope to fight it, Emma’s joy far too evident and far too impossible not to match.

“Happy anniversary,” she greets.

“Aye, happy anniversary, my love… What is this?” he asks, squatting beside her and delivering her a smile that she matches effortlessly.

“This is your surprise,” she explains.

“You got us… a dog?”

“A puppy! Isn’t she precious?” she asks, rubbing the pup’s belly and giggling as she rolls onto her back. “Her name is Ripple.”

He scrunches up his eyebrows in confusion, moving to sit all the way in order to save his old knees. “Ripple?”

“Don’t give me that look,” she chastises. “I think it suits her. One little doggy can impact our lives in many ways; like the ripple effect.”

“Aye,” he agrees, because he’ll agree with everything she says if only to see the look on her face when he does. “And how did Ripple find her way into our yard?”

The small, and admittedly adorable, puppy gives him a look that tugs at his heartstrings. Truthfully, if there was one breed of dog he could see Emma adopting, it would be a Rottweiler. Their Ripple is only a baby, small and soft, but he can tell that she’ll grow to be as fierce as Emma one day. Her big brown eyes stare into his and he knows with certainty that he’s made a companion.

“I adopted her, as a special surprise for you,” she tells him with a smirk, likely knowing that her explanation doesn’t exactly work in her favor. It’s not as if he ever had a desire to adopt a dog. Emma, on the other hand, has been wanting one for months. “She was wandering the streets, so I picked her up. I looked and looked for her owner, but she didn’t have a collar or a microchip, and no one came forward. I filled out some paperwork with the vet, and now she’s ours!”

He can’t help but to fall beside her, lying at her side and planting a brief yet deep kiss to her temple. Ripple wriggles between them, her bark small and high pitched but likely to become much more threatening in the next few weeks. “You’ve a very pure soul, Swan.”

“Yeah,” she agrees, making him bark out a laugh that’s met with one of Ripple’s. “She needs a home,” she says more seriously, rolling on her side to face him in the soft grass, her hand wandering from the neck of his t-shirt down to his waist.

“She does,” he agrees. He leans forward, awkwardly at this angle, to finally catch her lips with his. He can’t deny her of this. She grew up needing a home, and the least he can do now is support her in giving a home to another lost soul in need.

“So, can we keep her?”

“That’s funny,” he laughs, and she screws up her brows and cocks her head to the side. “It’s as if you’re under the impression that I could ever say no to you.”

He watches the smile grow across her face, reaching her eyes so easily as they catch the glimmering light of the fading sun. “Really?”

“Aye, of course, my love. Although, I will admit, this isn’t exactly the surprise I had in mind based on your phone call.”

Her giggle is contagious, and he thinks it must be in response both to what he had said, and the fact that Ripple has decided to clumsily sprint across the yard to chase her long tail. She pushes against his chest to stand-- he feels almost envious at her youthful ability to lift herself from the ground so easily-- and takes his hand in hers, hoisting him up as well. “I’ve been working on crate training her,” she explains once they’re standing side by side. She calls for the pup and she comes running, earning praise from her new, and apparently talented-at-behavioral-training, mother.

“Is that so?”

“Mhmm.” She guides them both inside, pulling his hand and holding her other one out to Ripple, offering a treat once they walk through the door. “And I plan on doing some crate training now, while I show you what other surprises I have for you under this dress. It’s good for her to practice.”

Their new companion is very well behaved, they’ve discovered. She listens to commands, snuggles with her parents at every opportunity afforded to her, and acts as a very talented deckhand on Killian’s ship, announcing the presence of a tuna on their line each time they hook up.

If one thing is for certain, it’s that Killian Jones’ wife knows exactly how to make him happy.

~~~~

~~~~

There’s a dog in Wicked Tuna named Ripple, and I’m addicted to The Ripple Effect, so Emma and Killian got a dog named Ripple. Hehehe

@courtorderedcake​​​ @kmomof4​​​ @stahlop​​​ @klynn-stormz​​​ @laschatzi​​​ @emelizabeth88​​​ @lfh1226-linda​​​ @kday426​​​ @elisethewritingbeast @timeless-love-story​​​ @captain-emmajones​​​ @gingerpolyglot​​​​ @ebcaver​​​ @ilovemesomekillianjones​​​ @teamhook​​​​ @superchocovian​​​​ @itsfabianadocarmo​​​​ @tiganasummertree​​​​ @gingerchangeling​​​​ @jrob64​​​​ @onceratheart18​​​​ @xhookswenchx​​​​ @winterbaby89​​​​ @swampmedusa​​​​ @ultraluckycatnd​​​​ @dancingnancyy​​​​ @love-with-you-i-have-everything​​​​ @shireness-says​​​​ @snowbellewells​​​​ @hollyethecurious​​​​ @ouatpost @daxx04​​​​ @the-darkdragonfly​​​​ @donteattheappleshook​​​​ @therooksshiningknight @eeteeaytay​​​​ @xsajx @itsfridaysomewhere​​​​ @alexa-fangirl-forever​​​​ @jonesfandomfanatic​​​​ @wefoundloveunderthelight @qualitycoffeethings​​​​ @rapunzelsghosts​​​​ @spaceconveyor @badcats-andmice​​​​ @batana54​​​ @sailtoafarawayland​ @deckerstarblanche​ @zaharadessert​ @xarandomdreamx @pirateprincessofpizza

[majorsoapfan]

Umbrella Academy Season 3 Wish list

This is a long one so buckle up:

Let Klaus and Allison take centre-stage this season in leading the plot. Both are incredible characters and deserve the chance to shine. And I can think of several reasons why they deserve the chance to take centre-stage: out of the whole Academy their powers are some of the most fascinating and in Klaus’ case he has so many that haven’t been revealed yet. They’ve both suffered and lost a lot as well, particularly in season 2 and their hardships tend to get ignored by others. Their relationship together is already really interesting and supportive and they would be an awesome team up. There’s more but I’ll be here forever if I tried to list them.

No Apocalypse. The world ending in eight days was a great plot driver in season 1 and again in season 2 with the reveal that the end of the world actually followed the Umbrella’s back in time. But if the same thing gets repeated over and over then I’m worried that the show will lose it’s edge as a result. In order for the characters to develop new crisis's need to take its place.

Let Five have a rest. Even if it’s just for an episode or two so he can get a solid eight hours sleep if nothing else. For the last two seasons Five has been running around non-stop trying to stop the end of the world and save his family. Without that Five can grow as a person and get a literal break that he really hasn’t gotten in 45 years.

Oh course that doesn’t mean I want Five out of the drama entirely and I do expect to see Reginald and Five scenes in season 3. Five is the only one of his original children that the bastard seemed to tolerate and he did seem to have some form of twisted respect for Five as well. And I wouldn’t put it past the monocle monster to have some twisted plans in store for the eldest member of the Umbrella Academy. He’s had fifty years to plan for the Umbrella’s return after all.

The Sparrows. I just saw the line up of the Sparrows for season three and I am honestly so interested. I can’t wait to see what their powers are like and I already have some ideas. They have so much potential and hopefully they’ll be done well. And so far they seem to be written as the Umbrella’s foils. Marcus is a natural leader who loves his family, while Luther forces himself into the role and alienated his family as a result. Both Ben and Diego long to be the leader but while Diego is more emotional, Ben’s more strategic. Five is driven by his love and desire to protect his family, while Sloane feels held back by hers. Vanya was treated as an outcast and betrayed her siblings trust while Christopher, a literal Cube, is said to be loyal and is treated as a loved family member 

That being said though, I don’t want the Sparrows to be the main focus this season or have the attention split between them and the Umbrella’s. Because while I do want to see the Sparrows and their family dynamic and how they interact with the Umbrella’s, I would prefer to see how the Umbrella Hargreeves’ cope with their existent and how this impacts them and how they move forward with this. Or a team up between Sparrows and Umbrella’s would be fine. Or multiple team ups, I’m not picky.

There is a really good fan theory out there about Klaus and Five being twins and while I know that in the comics it’s Luther and Five, the fan theory in season 3 would be so much better in my opinion. And in all honesty it makes so much more sense. Physically they are strikingly similar, especially as children. Their powers both concentrate in their hands and emit a blue glow when they use them. Their powers themselves are literally time and death, which are linked and they have additive personalities, which can be inherited between family members. And I can’t help but feel that this moment:

lends a new level to their relationship then what we see with them as adults. Look at how alike they are! And that fond smile that Five is giving Klaus? Making them twins opens up a wide range of possibilities for Klaus and Five both character and plot wise.

Give Luther a proper love interest. And I can’t believe that this even has to be said but his sister does not count! Literally all of siblings have have romantic interests, all of them so important in the Umbrella’s life in some way or another. It would be nice too to see Luther form a healthy romantic connection for the first time in his life.

While I’m on the subject of Luther and healthy relationships, it also brings me back to the Sparrows and how their number one Marcus seems to be Luther’s foil. And it would be interesting for the show to explore just how seeing the Sparrows and someone so similar to Luther might just affect him. He did spend thirty years of his life after all being Reginald’s little solider and believing that his position as Number One made him the family leader only to find out it was all for nothing. Only Marcus seems to be respected in his position as leader and loves his family dearly, while Luther was mocked and seems to have driven all of his siblings bar Allison away from him because of it. This has incredible potential for Luther’s character arc this season especially if it makes him acknowledge his behaviour to his siblings as they were growing up; particularly to Klaus and Vanya who probably got the worst of it. Allison after all was his closest companion, Diego was his rival (more or less), Ben seemingly got on with everyone and Five would have bitten Luther’s head off if he tried anything. But Reginald’s disappointments Klaus and Vanya? Luther, wanting to impress their dad and follow his orders probably didn’t treat them the best. And I want Luther to admit that and apologise and make the next step in becoming a better person and brother. He’s made incredible progress in season 2, but I don’t want his past treatment of his siblings to be swept under the rug. It needs to be acknowledged and Luther needs to admit it was wrong so he can grow. 

Can we get Diego’s season one hair back too? I wondered just how it got that long considering that he was only in the sixties for around three months. Klaus makes sense as he was in the sixties for years. Plenty of time for him to grow it out, not really for Diego. But I really prefer his season one hair so can it make a comeback please?

What I want to see for Vanya this season is for her to realize that she doesn’t need powers to be special. I kinda noticed that she seems to have defined her worth on her powers and that’s not healthy. So a potential scenario: Reginald seems to have made the power-suppressing drug himself, so he may still have it in season 3. Imagine Vanya getting a dose of it that knocks her powers out for a good chunk of time and in the meantime some of her siblings are in danger (I’m picturing Luther and Diego here the himbos) and she ends up saving them. Not with her powers but because of her intelligence and other skills that she has and she realizes that she doesn’t need her powers to be special or to save the day. A logical step in character growth.

Getting some closure on season 2 character like Sissy, Ray, Grace, the Cult (which I really didn’t like) and the Swede and what happened to them once the Umbrella’s left the sixties. And maybe finding out what happened to season one’s characters since the Umbrella’s didn’t exist in this timeline: Agnes, Patch, Leonard, Pogo, Claire.

For Klaus and Umbrella Ben to talk about their issues and make up. I know that our Ben is now up there with the little girl in the sky but that has not stopped Klaus from visiting heaven before. And I think that if Klaus and Ben do not get at least one final conversation to talk through their issues next season then I will sue. They both did crappy things to each other in season two but they both love each other dearly and they deserve the chance to get the closure they both need. I think that Klaus will definitely need it in order to move on completely.

I know I said no Apocalypse but I’m still going to be expecting some major crisis to happen during the last few episodes. An alien invasion or Sparrows trying to kill the Umbrella's maybe? But no matter what the problem is, I really want Klaus to get his moment to shine by being the one to save the day. Reginald said himself that Klaus has untapped potential and we know thanks to the comics what other powers he has. And thanks to Ben’s antics at the family dinner the old bastard has probably written him off as useless and not a threat when making plans to deal with the Umbrella’s. Which means nobody is going to be looking at Klaus or considering him a potential threat to their plans, leaving Klaus relatively safe to start exploring and enhancing his powers. He was supposed to be the one to have done it in season one with the moon and his abilities were brushed to the side completely in season two or used for Ben’s benefit so I think he’s long overdue his moment to shine. And maybe then will the rest of his siblings stop seeing Klaus as a joke.

Lila. I don’t think we’ve seen the last of her, her story felt unfinished and she does have a briefcase. She could pop at any moment in the story. She has so much potential and I did love her actress. Imagine her and Five forcing to team up or something? Or maybe her and Allison?

Another character I’d like to see return is Hazel. He’s someone who really grew on me. And there is a chance that he could return and maybe team up with the Umbrella’s this season. Potential scenarios: Five on the hunt for allies to help him restore the timeline hunts down Hazel who in this timeline is working with the Commission and because the Umbrellas don’t exist hasn’t met Agnes yet. Maybe something happened to her because of the Sparrows?

Finally Dave. I’m a huge Dave fan but I really don’t want him to show up in season three. Or if he does then for the smallest amount of time possible just to give Klaus some ‘closure’. Time travel is in the Umbrella Academy universe after all and it’s possible that by Klaus warning Dave about his faith and causing him to enlist earlier and in a different branch as a result he’s saved Dave and opened up the possibility of seeing Commission!Dave later. Which is the perfect storyline for season 4. Season three is only 10 episodes long and there’ll be a lot going on already so shoving Dave into what will already be a pretty packed season won’t give Dave the attention he deserves and will take away from the other focus. Not only that but Klaus’ motivation for the last two seasons is doing something for either Dave or Ben. I want to see Klaus train his powers either for himself or to help someone else. Also, Dave deserves the chance to grow as a character as well and making him a part of season 3 would take away from the main focus of the Umbrella’s and Sparrows. Making him a main focus in season four instead if we get one will give a great opportunity story-wise to develop both him and Klaus as individuals and as a couple.

[nawaazishein]

As always I am late to the game 'cause I took 4 pages worth of notes while watching and that took forever. Ama neyse – thoughts on Sen Çal Kapımı episode 8:

Generally: 

While I spent a good part of the episode incredibly angry at a very specific person (hint: this time it is not Selin or Kaan), it turned out to be one of my favorite episodes so far, I think. The angsty hoe in me was thriving. I’ve read that people would’ve wanted more “shippy” stuff, for Eda and Serkan to make up at the end of the episode, a lot more progression in their relationship but I couldn’t disagree more. To me, there’s been incredible progress for not just our main couple… Serkan:

The main theme in this week’s episode was trust; Melo somewhat blindly trust people too easily, Ferit mistrusting Selin, but most of all Serkan no trusting literally anyone except himself.

I was very angry at Serkan Bey all throughout the episode and wanted to shoot very different things in his head than Eda… 90% of my Serkan-related notes were “I WANNA SMACK HIM SO HARD!” or “Serkan looked like he was about to combust because of rage. YES, SUFFER!” but oh well…

We learned that his trust issues are related to his past and the way his parents raised him. Alptekin says that he is to blame for this, that he raised Serkan as a “protector” and that it lead to him being like that. Serkan mentions at the end that it has nothing to do with other people, it’s just the way he was brought up. All in all, we got little snippets of where these issues come from but not a lot more than that, which honestly makes me wonder how this is related to his past. I’m gonna go so far as to say that almost all the people close to him (his mother, Engin, Pırıl, Selin) have always stood by him, no matter how badly he treated them (e.g. the way he yelled at them in the “Git!” scene), so where does trust come into play? My guess would be there is a lot more emotional trauma to be unraveled and we’ll get to know more about that in the future. Anyway, while I was incredibly angry at the, I wanna say, “blind rage” this triggered in him, how he put up his walls again and mostly how he treated Eda seemingly without an ounce of regret, I think we also saw him working through a lot internally. I’m talking about the impact being away from Eda had on him. He was constantly reminded of her, he wanted to know where she was, wanted to hear her voice, found excuses to see her. Every look he gave her in the scenes they had together spoke volumes about what was going on inside him, the turmoil, the want to apologize but not being able to. I think at this point, there’s no doubt in his mind that Serkan cannot lose her and that he loves her.

Eda:

My girl, my çiçeğim, my strong little warrior. Almost all my notes regarding Eda this epi had “YEEEESS!” written at the end because I was rooting for her so much. We get to see two sides of Eda this episode. 

On the one hand she is absolutely heartbroken by what Serkan did. She’s as hurt over Serkan seemingly reconciling with Selin, as Eda is made to believe, as she is over him questioning her integrity and loyalty. Right from the start, no matter how much she hated Serkan Bolat, she has always opened up to her mistakes and has always wanted to fix them. She values integrity a lot, and for Serkan to believe she did this even though they’ve gotten to know and understand one another understandably hurt her way more than the Selin thing ever could.

On the other hand, we get to see Eda (once again) ready to stand up for herself, no matter what. She’s ready to fight her battles with her head held high and I love that so much about her. Of course she does falter, she does get overwhelmed by her emotions and tear up, she is so deeply hurt by all of this, but she pulls through and stands her ground. I love this duality we get to see.

So far we haven’t learned a lot about Eda’s past except for that her parents died and her relationship with her grandma is on the rocks but I feel like that’s not all there is to it. I can’t put it in words but the way she carried herself throughout this, always trying to keep her composure and self-respect, has my gut feeling saying there’s more to her story than we’re anticipating. The mother figures/the girl gang/the women:

Something that stood out for me this episode was the level of support all these women showed for one another this episode. Ayfer is a wonderful guardian to her “little ones”. She always supports them unconditionall. Even though she might not agree with their choices, she gives advice and let’s them make of that what they will (e.g. her telling Melo that something about Kaan is not right), and she will always try to protect them from who is hurting them (e.g. her talk with Serkan). Aydan, as I said, is growing on me sooo much! I feel we’ve already seen so much “character development” in such a short amount of time and I love it. As we know, her son is her world and she doesn’t like Eda but nevertheless she acknowledges that her son is not perfect and what he did was wrong, which I’m not sure she would’ve done at the beginning of the contract. She tells him that this is no way to treat a woman and I especially loved that she not exclusively talked about Eda, but a little more generally, this is no way to treat anybody. I feel like, as I said before, there’s more to Serkan’s issues than we know and Aydan hints are something here, too, possibly something more in the direction of anger issues? I’m not sure but what I wanna say, this conversation didn’t seem like it was just about “That’s not how you treat a woman”. 

Oh, and the girl gang. @mnmississippi​  wonderfully said “Yes, love love love seeing strong women support each other and there were so many examples in the episode. I also appreciate that the girls have different goals and dreams but will help each other out (no one makes fun of Melo for being a dreamy romantic, the girls are fine w/ not knowing what mysterious Fifi does, Ceren doesn't make a big deal about being richer than the other girls.” and I absolutely agree. We get so see so many multi-layered and distinctive female charactes all supporting one another, no questions asked. I especially want to mention the scene in which the girls find out Kaan did it because wow, my heart… the way Melo teared up and immediately started apologizing to Eda for not realizing he did it, the way Eda didn’t hesistate for a single second and immediately went to hug her and apologized herself. I teared up myself. 

Selin:

I’ma keep this short because I cannot stand her. Yes, that means Bige is doing a great job playing a villain but oh my God, do I hate her. Her character lacks depth and intention and I don’t know what her goal is here. I’m not sure she knows, tbh. We get to hear her say things like “If she even has a little pride, she won’t come back.” about Eda and “Serkan is not a man I can spend my life with.” because apparently she loves Ferit and wants to start a life with him, but a couple of hours later she runs to pay Serkan a visit at night and sucks up to him so bad??? The stable scene physically made me cringe so hard, like, just make up for mind and life with that. Stop running after your ex and focus on your fiancé, who is an actual good egg imo. Someone on twitter said that Eda needs to “punch that hoe in the boob” and I wholeheartedly agree. Pırıl/Engin/Ceren:

It's an up and down with this love triangle for me. I thought I wanted an Engin/Pırıl ship last episodes, but this episode had some ambiguous glances between Engin/Ceren and Pırıl once again being a workaholic nightmare that I’m going back and forth on this one. We’ll see. Alptekin:

Yeah, we got a liiiittle more information about him but I’ma reserve judgement until we get to see a little more. I don’t know what to make of him this episode tbh.

Scenes I loved/that made me scream:

The scene where Serkan looks at the pictures he’d printed of them and the mug turning from red to black. I honestly needed a break after that!

Literally every scene of Seyfi being so salty towards Serkan and Leyla’s “My executioner has returned”.

Usually I don’t like obvious product placements, but if it gets me more Serkan Bolat in a shower then give me all of them!

The scene where the girls find out about Kaan and Melo starts crying. That shit was beautiful.

Eda coming up with a mindblowing concept for the project – although the drawings we saw were way more than a couple of days or even weeks worth of work, there’s no way she did that in a day or two.

Her giving him the ring and leaving. “This game is over, Serkan Bolat!” which means that everything that comes next will be real and based on feelings. Sign. Me. the. Fuck. Up. 

Random things:

Bige’s eyes… I don’t think I have ever seen eyes that blue. It’s been eight episodes but they still make my take me off guard every time I see her.

Why did Erdem move in, though? Just for comic relief because of the proximity to Fifi?

Pırıl’s legs in that pink dress were… a lot.

Hande needs to share her eyelash routine asap! And God, she looked how in that white skirt... damn

Speaking of hot, the cinematorgraphy… we got a lot of nice side-profile shots and... How is it that perky?!?! Ok damn, Bürsin.

[gthisgthat]

Transcending Legacy

It’s devastating that it always takes a life or lives for us to be reminded of essential everyday values that are in the CORE of our beings. We should be loving on our brothers and sisters daily if not every minute we can because IT IS written that we all will leave here one day. We’ve forgotten the basics of life: love one another, forgive one another, never go to bed angry, never wake up without giving thanks, value and cherish our times and experiences together. Not only should we love our families, but our friends and every human we come across in hopes to make their lives better and their loads lighter to carry. If the dedication and tenacity of ONE man’s legacy can SHAKE UP an entire world then I THINK it’s time and it’s been time for us to look within, reflect, and step into our own power and do the same as the GREATS who have blessed us with their presence, gifts, and talents.

I often hear and I’ve often said, “the world is effed up” or “the world is sad” but the truth is the world can only be as good or effed up as the people who occupy the land, so what we’ve done is perpetuated a generational lie to cover up the fact that we’re content with being safe and mediocre or even too ashamed to say we’re afraid to spread our wings and fly in the realm of our biggest dreams. But I’m here to remind us IT’S TIME!!!

If we all would step into our powers and let love RISE and SHINE the world could and would become a better place day by day, person by person, gift by gift, year by year and it wouldn’t have any other choice BUT to reflect what is shown by its environments and creators just as we see in our own lives.

As a black person whose witnessed and been a part of many tragedies and losses I can boldly say it sucks to know our history and how we’ve been treated for no reason other than hate, but it’s an HONOR to see how far we’ve come, and I also know our present lives can make a difference for the future if and ONLY if we step into our GOD GIVEN POWER.

We ARE in a time where we have the power to do it scared if we have to and create space for change in our homes, our neighborhoods, our communities, our cities, our states, our world, our nation, and countries outside of the US.

If we need proof…ALL…we have to do is take the time to research and look at all the Legends here today and the ones who have left us that we STILL celebrate.

Last year when I heard Nipsey Hussle was killed...something inside of me shifted and I knew nothing about him besides the fact that he was a celebrity rapper and Lauren London’s boyfriend. What I found out after watching every interview on YouTube and diving into his life was the fact that he DEFINITELY was different and definitely left a GLOBAL impact that would LAST beyond his existence. In the words of his superwoman Lauren, “Forever and Even After That!”

We are usually saddened by the age of a person at their “untimely” death and begin to use that as a judging system on whether they’ve lived a FULL life. Kobe Bryant, Little Gianna Bryant, Sarah Chester, Payton Chester, Christina Mauser, Ara Zobayan, John Altobelli, Keri Altobelli, and Alyssa Altobelli all lived full lives in the eyes of God. If we judge it based off man’s view we could mourn all day, month, and for the rest of our lives about how they’ve gone too soon, but I think the real reason we often feel this way is because we’re here and STILL aren’t doing what we’re supposed to do to make the world a better place that is full of love and divinity FOR the generations to come. CHANGE takes time but it also takes STARTING. Let’s make our 2020 Vision about Action instead of watching from the sidelines. LET’s get off the bench and get in the game of life for KOBE!!

The world is loss because we are loss, so we must get back to our SOULS’ purpose and fulfill Gods divine creation for us. We should know by NOW that age does not determine anything: the youngest person in a room full of old folks can be the wisest and the oldest person in a room full of youngins can be the most immature.

Let’s not continue to confuse age with purpose or age with living a full life. Kobe, Nipsey, and many other legends are prime examples that if you follow the divine ordered footsteps and the ROAD less traveled with determination, intention, purpose, focus, light, love, joy, peace, and LIFE you can and will reach your goals before your ultimate transition and even then your legacy and instilled values will not only be placed upon your family and loved ones but the people you’ve had the chance to experience, your fans, people you’ve never met but lives you’ve still touched, and everyone you inspire along the way. It’s a great thing that this life we have is a true gift and testament that it is able to be bigger than us.

Death has been...is....and always will be the realest and most devastating chapter of the human experience for us who are left to witness the void in the world and Especially in our hearts without our loved ones, but I was once told “you will plant seeds for trees you may never get to sit under.” So I ask you all a series of questions TODAY: what kind of life are you living, what seeds are planting, what trees are you going to leave behind, are you growing fruits of labor, love, & legacy to exist beyond your existence or are you planting weeds that will die with you????

                                                                            -With Much Love,

                                                                             Geneva gee💞

[b-124a-p-224]

Thank you BAP for 7 Best Absolute Perfect years ♡ ~ January 26, 2012 - January 26, 2019

Today’s the big day! The day BABYz and BAP have all been waiting for: their contract expiration!! 

Although I know many of us are ecstatic, others are uncertain about BAP’s future as a group. However, we can’t forget that BAP are a group of 6 individuals; whether they choose to form their own agency, join a new agency, become soloists or sub-units, or even decide to pursue a different path in life, they gave us their all for seven (7!!!) years! Some fans are newer BABYz, many are literal babies (I can’t believe their are fans who are born after 2000 omg 😭), a lot of fans have been here since the beginning, and then there are those of us who joined somewhere along the way. It’s incredible to see how quickly these past 7 years have flown by, but no matter what point in time you chose to become a BABY, I’m sure you’ll never forget Yongguk swearing in Ta-dah (no matter HOW HARD BAP WANT US TO FORGET TA-DAH lol), Youngjae’s bubble tea and ice cream songs, Himchan asking what “hurricane” is in English, Zelo crying to distract from the fact that they completely messed up the prank in One Fine Day, Jongup’s voice crack when performing “Skydive” live on the radio, and Daehyun telling BABYz to be nice to TS and promptly getting laughed at for recommending something so stupid. 😂 I mean, we literally saw BAP grow: remember when they debuted they were all the same height? Yeah, didn’t last very long, did it! 😅 

Not only did they grow physically, but emotionally and mentally as well. Their lyrics and video messages also matured, and we were blessed enough to be fans of a group that openly discussed sensitive issues like racism, the societal pressures on today’s youth, corruption in our governments, and the stress idols face in their personal lives. They were also known for being the first K-Pop group to experiment in Trap music (”Badman”), the first group to debut with the “alien” and “warrior-like” boy group concepts (EXO also debuted later that same year with an alien concept), and became known for their lyrics criticizing issues that had previously never been discussed about in depth such as the music industry and government (all these things which are now staples in K-pop).

BAP have set so many records and have won dozens of awards, but the thing I think is impossible to count is their love for us. I mean, could you imagine going through life without BAP? I know for a fact that since I’ve become a fan of BAP, I’ve become a better person because they helped me understand that I’m a human that makes mistakes and that I live in a crazy world, but that I can be the change I want to see! They’ve shown me how to love and how to be loved in ways I never though possible! Their music, their way of life, and the way they treat each other and BABYz shows just how much they love us and how proud they are of us! I mean, did you ever realize that BAP love us unconditionally?? DID YOU EVER REALIZE THAT EVEN WHEN WE THINK WE ARE UNLOVABLE THAT BAP STILL LOVE US??? AND THINK ABOUT ALL THE BABYz WHO LOVE YOU TOO!! Can you imagine being so loved by so many people? Well believe it, because you are. 💞

Setting aside the music, videos, variety shows, and the boys themselves, the thing I think that was the most beautiful about being a BABY was...being a BABY. Can you imagine going through life not knowing the friends you had met because of BAP? The friends I’ve personally met are people I consider my very best friends. Even though we’re miles and timezones away, and whether we talk every day or once a year, I couldn’t imagine life without them. Sharing in times of happiness (aka comebacks) and sadness (aka lawsuit) is something we all know as fans of BAP, but sharing those moments with friends is something that I personally will always treasure. These past few years for me became really difficult at many points, and I don’t know how I would’ve coped emotionally had it not been for my BABY friends. I know for sure I would have been friendless if I didn’t have my BABY friends supporting me lol. 😅  

Although our fandom is small, sometimes I think we truly underestimate just how much of an impact we have; and sure, our influence on Twitter trends and chart rankings may be small, but our love and support of the people we love is the strongest I’ve ever seen and felt, and to me that means so much more (and I’m sure it means the world to BAP too!).

In these past 7 years, BAP has grown so much. But make sure to realize just how much you’ve grown right alongside BAP. And just because these past 7 years are over (and so is the contract with TS can I please get an AMEN and HALLELUJAH!!??) it doesn’t mean that everything is over. The end of one thing is the beginning of another. I can’t wait to see what happens in the future with both BAP and BABYz, and I sincerely pray that there are only good memories from here on out. Taking the time to really think about what BAP and BABYz mean to me would take forever to write out (and this post is already long enough lol), but I’d like to sum it up with a quote we often hear BAP saying: let’s always walk on a flowery path. 

Whether our path is covered in flowers or even if there are some thorns we have to step on along the way, let’s always look towards the future ahead. As six, BAP held their hands together and walked on an unknown path full of ups and downs, but they came out shining in the end. Let’s grab their hands and walk alongside them towards our new unknown with bright smiles and happy hearts.

Thank you BAP and BABYz, for the Best Absolute Perfect 7 years of my life. 💚

[codyboolman]

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[comicteaparty]

December 2nd-December 8th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from December 2nd, 2019 to December 8th, 2019.  The chat focused on Da Pukas by Pembroke W. Korgi. 

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Da Pukas by Pembroke W. Korgi~! (http://dapukas.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PDT), so keep checking back for more! You have until December 8th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. What aspect of the world-building in the comic caught your eye and why? Relatedly, what do you think happened to the older people who left all their technology behind, and how might this fact continue to play a role in the story?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 4. What do you think happened to the pukas who left the village 10 years ago? Can they be found, or are they truly lost forever? How do you think Lider will handle the answer emotionally regardless of which case you choose?

AntiBunny

1. Personally my favorite scene is the first encounter with Chacal the Jackal. This is their first encounter with the villain, and they throw every idea they can come up with into their escape to see what sticks, eventually bumbling their way out of trouble and establishing what will be an ongoing menace.

2. light is clearly a big deal there. While the saying "lords of light" is a classic cartoon reference on the surface, the significance of their lantern shows that to an underground dwelling people a light source is something that could be seen as a gift from the gods, and not simply something to be taken for granted. It's never exactly explained, but can be gathered.

3. Alegre is my favorite character. I love the enthusiasm with which she throws herself into everything. She tries it all, laughs off her failures, and keeps going.

4. I think they'll show up much later in the comic with some big reveal. Perhaps they found a way to the surface, but can't come back. Maybe there's a point of no return.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?

QUESTION 6. Do you think Lider and company will ever return home? If so, how do you think the journey will have changed them? Also, do you think they’ll ultimately be accepted back into their village, or will the council still exile them?

RebelVampire

1) My favorite scene so far is probably when Quetz makes good on the friendship and comes and saves everyone from Chacal. For a decently comedic, somewhat light hearted comic, that was a rather gruesome fight and it made me cringe (but in a good oh no way). I also liked that Quetz didn't magically fade into the background and there was immediate consequences for friendships being made. 2) The aspect of the world that interests me the most is the whole underground thing itself. I like how its treated as this natural thing by the characters, but as the reader I have so many questions. Like where did this huge underground network come from? How is it nobody has explored things to the point most places seem isolated? Etc. But I like how the story works with the underground in unique ways, like the issues of light, how they get food, etc. As for the people before them, I'm just going with common denominator and assume they destroyed themselves.(edited)

3) My favorite character is definitely Apocado. I like that Apocado is kind of the reluctant heroine with a lot of self esteem issues that are flat out addressed a lot throughout the comic. At the same time, though, I like it's balanced by the fact she actually does have talent and can come through for the group when it counts. Mostly, though, I just find her and Lider adorable together. 4) As for what happened to the past explorers, I feel its a combination of they got lost and didn't know the way back plus where they wound up needed their help a lot more. I do think they're gonna be found, but I think it's gonna be not good for Lider. I feel like Lider is gonna have this expectation that they never returned for some noble heroic reason, only to find out that they kind of chose just to ditch their old lives to a degree after a point. Even if that's not the case though, I do think happiness will turn to anger and resentment for a while about why they couldn't go back. Alternatively, everyone is dead, and Lider will fall into depression because life is hopeless is and bleak.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?

QUESTION 8. Given the story’s focus on themes such as friendship and forgiveness, what event related to the themes impacted you the most? Overall, what is your take away from the story in regards to these themes?

5) My favorite illustration is definitely this page http://dapukas.com/?comic=belmontsville. I love the amount of colorful detail in the image. But what really sells it for me is the perspective and angle. It really captures that feeling of feeling like a stranger in a big city and really puts you in the character's shoes. I love when illustrations work with the story, so definitely a great one in my book. 6) I do feel like Lider and everyone will come home. Probably with a lot more people and with fanfare. However, I definitely feel like they won't stay. I get the impression the journey will make them see there's more to their underground life than their own little village. And I feel they'll want to help more people or something like that. As for whether they'll be accepted back, I think yes and no. I think the council won't want to, but that their hands will be forced lest they earn public ire.

RebelVampire

7) I enjoy seeing Apocado and Lider interact the most. I love how opposite their personalities are in a lot of ways, so it creates lots of friction. Yet they still care about one another. Plus, their relationship is just adorable. Like how Apocado just basically jumped down a hole after Lider. XD Just precious and funny. 8) The one that affected me the most was when Artifice forgave Rumi. I think in life we often forget that accidents are a thing. And that people can hurt other people will out ill intent, and that it's easy to become wrapped up in the blame game. At the same time, sometimes that anger is a bit justified, since some accidents are bigger than others. All in all, forgiveness is hard. But I think the takeaway is that it's still good to do since focusing on what were mad at the person about rarely fixes anything.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?

QUESTION 10. Do you think we’ve seen the last of the jackal Chacal, or will they continue to hunt Lider and group? If the latter, what do you think it will take for Lider and the rest to be free of Chacal?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.

QUESTION 12. What do you think the device Lider was given is? Can it be fixed, and if so, what role will it play in Lider’s quest? Additionally, will Lider be able to get the lantern repaired as well?

AntiBunny

7. Right now I'm loving the interplay between Artifisk and Malo. They haven't interacted that much, but having a scene alone together shows that Artifisk is the one who's a questioner. Most people just accept that Malo is the way she is, but Artifisk actually shows curiosity about Malo's personality.

8. Probably the moment they left the village. They treat it as a grand adventure, but they also know they can't turn back. It's not unlike the moment in Lord of the Rings when the Hobbits realize that one more step will take them further from home than they've ever been.

9. Certainly the element of danger. There are villages that are safe, but it's treated like leaving these villages is a major risk. A few individuals live between, but in general the caverns are very much a sort of death world filled with hazards and dangerous creatures. It sort of reminds me of a Metroid game in that way. Isolation is the name of the game. This small crew on their journey become a small party in strange and hostile world. You really see that contrast in their behaviors in and out of a town too. Outside they're always on edge, always in danger, never able to relax. Inside a town they relax more and you see their personalities in a different light.

10. Chacal certainly will be an ongoing threat. What I wonder is if the Pukas will become better at outwitting and evading them, or if Chacal as we saw with Qwetz will continue to grow as a threat.

11. A well balanced core cast. The personalities are all just right to play off of each other. Sometimes complimenting, and sometimes conflicting. Everyone has a role to play in the character dynamic.

12. Some kind of tracker I think. When it starts working it will probably give them a direction to go in.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

QUESTION 14. How do you think Bimmy will try to scam the pukas out of their gold? Will Bimmy succeed, and if so, what will the pukas do? Further, do you think Ali will get involved again somehow?

RebelVampire

9) A detail I've really liked in the comic is the just the comic's abilities to keep plot threads relevant. For example, Rumi. It would've been super easy for the comic to just kind of drop it for 50 chapters and then bring it up again. But the comic is super good at remember to involve these plots from time to time before you forget them. And I think that's a real merit. 10) Nah. Chacal is definitely gonna show up again. I feel like Chacal is the sort of character who becomes easily embittered and revenge filled. So even if it takes a while, Chacal will always remember the offense and only become more desperate and violent. As for how Lider and them are going to be free...honestly...probably murder. Or at least imprisoning Chacal for life. I don't think theres anyway else out of the mess. 11) I think the comic's strength are its characters. They all have these kind of exaggerated personalities that are just enjoyable to read for both comedy and dramatic scenes. At the same time, though, the story is able to take a step back and show the darker sides to the characters and their kind of personal traumas and inner conflicts. And I always like when theres a good balance of that. 12) I think the device might be some kind of knowledge base. Maybe like a mini-version of Wikipedia with a little bit of GPS thrown in. And it will inevitably prove vital to their navigation I think as they get farther and farther away and start having to rely on more random tech. Which yes, by that implication, I think it will be fixed. I think the lantern will be fixed as well, though I think Lider will have to give it that extra push to get it working.

13) I am looking forward to Lider and Apocado's further relationship development cause they're just so gosh darn cute together. And I'm interested to see what sort of tests they'll face since the further they delve into the caverns,, the more dangerous it will be. 14) I feel like Bimmy is gonna intercept the tech somehow and say "Hey pay me and I'll help." and then whoops, money is gone. However, I doubt Bimmy will succeed longterm. More likely Bimmy will be hunted down, probably with Ali's help, and defeated. But defeated in a way there'll be an eternal grudge.

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Da Pukas this week! Please also give a special thank you to Pembroke W. Korgi for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Da Pukas, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: http://dapukas.com/

Pembroke’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ArtificialOrangeStudios

Pembroke’s Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/pembrokewkorgi

Pembroke’s Teepublic Store: https://www.teepublic.com/user/pembrokewkorgi/albums/13501-da-pukas

Pembroke’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/pembrokewkorgi

[renaroo]

Wednesday Roundup 5.7.2017

So I think in the year-ish that I’ve been doing the Roundups, this is an actual literal first for me. This is the first time I have one “entry” from all my major publishers at the same time and not more. I mean one’s cheating since Monstress is a collected trade, but yeah, I have one from Dark Horse, DC, IDW, Image, and Marvel. 

I could not have planned this if I tried.

In any case, fascinating coincidences aside, how did this week end up stacking up? How good were any of the issues? Lllllets find out!

Marvel’s All-New Wolverine, Image’s Monstress, DC’s Superman, IDW’s Transformers: Till All Are One, Dark Horse’s Zodiac Starforce: Cries of the Fire Prince

Marvel’s All-New Wolverine (2015-present) #22 Tom Taylor, Leonard Kirk, Cory Hamscher, Erick Arciniega, Michael Garland

I’m not sure how many more times I can compliment this comic without it sounding repetitive but where we are, All-New Wolverine actually is making me, by force, enjoy a deep space story featuring the multitudes of Marvel alien species that I struggle to care about normally but really do here and now because GAAAAABBBY.

The relationship between Gabby and all the people around her is really one of the main driving forces. There’s of course the joy that’s her and Laura interacting and Laura growing into the mentor she never would have thought herself capable of (true daughter of Logan if there’s ever been), but this issue is wise in expanding on that during the first half of the story.

Gabby and Wade basically lampoon it from the start with Wade repeatedly expressing to Laura how special and unique Gabby is, and then Gabby working her magic on Laura, forcing her to grow up and move out of Logan’s old apartment into her very own (so on the nose and yet I love it oh so much). And of course there is the hilarity of bringing Jonathan into space. 

All so that the cliffhanger at the end would leave you as emotionally destroyed as I feel at the moment!

Tom Taylor’s great, and I love how dedicated this comic seemingly is to staying out of Secret Empire and even more so to how dedicated it seemingly is to progress its own greater narrative -- namely with our mysterious hooded watcher who sees the departure of the Wolverines and cryptically moves their plans to Daken. To which I say nooooooooo our siblings were finally getting alonooonnnngggg

Great issue, on the edge of my seat for what’s to come! 

Image’s Monstress (2015-present) Volume Two: The Blood Marjorie Liu, Sana Takeda

So like Descender and a few of the other Indie titles I’ve picked up in the last year, I had Liu and Takeda’s Monstress come to my radar thanks to suggestions from people on tumblr! And what can I say? Those of you who recommend stuff to me really know my tastes it seems like!

This is a beautiful fantasy story with a very dark and unseemly look at the idea of fate and inheritance by blood. There is a weight to everything and the gorgeous style of the world hides the secret of the inner ugliness behind each and every corner. 

To put things even more simply, this book is fascinatingly dark and is not the gentle Chosen One narrative that fantasy so often falls into at least in Western tropes. You can feel the influence of mythologies beyond Western, and really other than inverting the idea of a By Blood Chosen One you could argue that Western fantasy ideas do not really play much of a role within the narrative at all.

I think that’s what’s so fascinating to me. There’s a dense story with a lot to unpack, so those surface elements come off all the stronger and fascinate me into wanting to see even more of them. 

Again just a very good read overall. Much approved. 

DC’s Superman (2016-present) #26 Michael Moreci, Mike Godelwski, HI-FI

This is a very pleasant, very nice one-off read. 

I’m not sure how much impact this issue will have on the greater story being told about our titular Kent family, but it was refreshing to have a look at especially Jon’s character from a different writer. As much as I have enjoyed Jurgens, Tomasi, and Gleason, Jon being naïve and near perfect has been a criticism I’ve thought deserved its dues for sure. And it’s interesting to see him feeling more his age in this issue and being a bit more stubborn and in the wrong and just flawed in the ways that kids are.

I loved that the lesson here was two-fold -- a lesson about Clark learning how to allow children to make their own mistakes and be there to comfort them when they fall, and about Jon learning to, in Clark’s terms, “flex muscles above the neck.”

The art was quite good and while Lois didn’t receive a lot of time here, she was Clark’s rock. I’m hoping that we will get more of the feisty and tenacious Lois who needs Clark holding her back from time to time sooner or later. 

It’s a decent issue, and I’m glad Moreci is proving that people outside the usual team can tackle this new-old take on classic Superman and on the all-new Jon Kent. 

IDW’s Transformers: Till All Are One (2016-present) #11 Mairghread Scott, Sara Pitre-Durocher, Joana Lafuente

I knew we weren’t close to seeing the end of Windblade! And not at all because I cheat and looked at next month’s cover back when the solicits for it came out like forever ago. 

Rather than jumping around POVs which TAAO has made a habit of doing (well might I add!) with its ensemble cast, the continued narrowing of focus down to Starscream, with a short interlude showing Windblade’s internal mental battle, really worked for this issue. It’s so fascinating to get all the facets of Starscream’s perspective that we do here, and especially how the scars of being a Decepticon and being abused by Megatron still affect him greatly.

As the one Cybertronian who seemed the easiest adjusted to the new world of post-world Cybertron, it’s both expected and yet very shocking to see that it was a ruse. He has been as badly effected as nearly all the other Autobots and Decepticons have been by what they’ve lived through.

And I’m usually exhausted of the hallucinations about Bumblebee which I know are going to eventually be revealed to not be that much of a hallucination but it worked to great effect here. Mostly because Bumblebee left lol With that ominous ending silhouette and the subtle parallel between Starscream’s years long hallucinations of Bumblebee with the struggle Windblade is undergoing with two minds at once. 

Reminds me of certain elements of Transformers Prime and Scott is a fan of bringing in elements of the Aligned universe into the IDW fold...

I really loved this issue, and especially loved the art. It breaks my heart knowing this series is coming to an end.

Dark Horse’s Zodiac Starforce: Cries of the Fire Prince (2017-present) #1 Kevin Panetta, Paulina Gancheau, Sarah Stern

Ever since I read the original Zodiac Starforce comic, I was really hoping we would be getting more of a follow up because my love of this genre and my love of how clever this comic was and how good it was with building this complicated world was too much for the tasty treat we got out of the original. And I couldn’t have been happier to hear we were getting just that!

We’re picking up a few months since the ending of the first volume and it’s really interesting to see how much our girls have grown in their various roles since then. I’m also getting the sense that this new storyline is going to be taking the opportunity to focus on the characters who didn’t get so much attention the last go around, like Kim and Molly and Lily. 

Kim’s home life really strikes close to home for a lot of people, I’ve got to say. I’ve seen these situations play out, and I have to really applaud this comic for showing how important and defining it is for a supportive boyfriend/husband/etc. for a young woman in such a bad situation can be. It both helps women in the situation to feel as though they can seek support, and tells young men in the world that they can and should be the type of partner who is this supportive.

It’s interesting to see how the events of last time have played into everyone’s relationships months later, and it’s for better and for worse, especially for the scorned girls and boys who got a taste of the dark powers of Cimmeria. I’m so interested to see where all of this goes!

So this is going to seem incredibly strange but I would almost be willing to call each and every single issue that came out today a tie because I just genuinely enjoyed reading each and every one of them that much. It was such an amazing and unexpected variety this week for me and it just hit all the feelings I needed them to fit. But, as always, twist my arm and I can offer a real answer. 

And that answer is Transformers: Till All Are One. It has so quickly become my favorite Transformers title from the entire IDW line and I just was enraptured in each panel. It’s a definite win from me, even in a week as fantastic and tightly held as this one.

So how was everyone else’s Wednesday pull? Agree with me? Disagree? Think I should be picking up something I’ve missed? Please feel free to let me know!

[toyahinterviews]

TOYAH ON THE DOMINIC KING SHOW WITH CHRIS ADDISON BBC RADIO KENT 26.5.2021

CHRIS: I catch up now with musician, actress, TV presenter and film director Toyah Willcox in a career spanning 40 years. She’s had 8 Top 40 singles, released over 20 albums, written two books, appeared in over 40 stage plays and ten feature films not even to mention all the TV shows she’s presented. Cherry Red Records have remastered her 1980 album The Blue Meaning which includes a really early version of It’s A Mystery. Toyah! Hello! TOYAH: Hello! Are how are you? CHRIS: I’m really well. You’re looking fabulous! TOYAH: Since lockdown I’ve created a whole new life online and I’m permanently on camera! CHRIS: I’m really enjoying these kind of Sunday sessions with you and Robert – they’ve been amazing! TOYAH: I hope you enjoy them as much as much as we do (laughs) CHRIS: I love the fact that a recent one I saw was Scorpions "Rock Me Like A Hurricane"  and wow! Such choreography going on - right into the camera! TOYAH: (laughs) Well, you know I’m very hungry for the camera. It’s what my job entails me to be CHRIS: But what I love about you is you just go for it! You’re going to go for the full make-up, costumes, they’re all there, you guys are on it

TOYAH: Well, we realise the kitchen is the star of the show, we’d be absolutely misdirected if we thought it was us. The kitchen is the star. I think with so many people in lockdown stuck in their kitchens it’s a pretty great place to do what we do normally on stage and to bring it into the context that here we are We’re in the same place as you and let’s have some rock. As there is such an eternity of great rock songs! I like to think that we can keep going on forever! Show me a camera and I’ll find it. I just work with cameras so it’s a joy. I absolutely love it I love the irony of what we do and especially with the Scorpions because the lyrics was one of the most outrageous lyrics I’ve ever sung especially when you take it out of context from when it was originally written and put it into today. And I have utter respect for these acts but it is very interesting how culturally we are changing so quickly. You re-visit lyrics and you think hmm ... CHRIS: Do you let a song go or do you continue it with a knowledge that we’re in a different place? TOYAH: I think with me I treat the generations that knew me forty years ago with the truth of who I was and what I wrote forty years ago. I keep to that truth. I don’t think there’s anything offensive in my lyrics … I mean with "The Blue Meaning" that’s coming out it’s very much part of kind of  cultural presence of forty years ago. You can’t disguise that, you accept it     I know some artists where the lyrics have been idolising women of a certain type and they’ve changed the lyrics and I encourage them to change the lyrics because I just think it’s totally unacceptable to value and idolise women on one level only, purely as a physical body With me my writing was very very aggressive as a punk rocker. It was beyond feminism. It was confrontational. I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately and I’ve decided to stay with it. When we’re performing it on stage it’s just saying this is who I was forty years ago, it’s certainly not who I am today   CHRIS: It’s almost like a time capsule in a way because we obviously all grew up with the music so for us it’s a part of our shared memory

TOYAH: Absolutely. My first album "Sheep Farming In Barnet" is an absolute joy and I actually think today it’s so present in the zeitgeist of today. "The Blue Meaning", which critics are very kindly saying is the kind of embryonic beginnings of goth, I think really firmly belongs in 1980. Where as "Anthem" (1981) which is coming out at Christmas, being reissued, I think again will sit well today   And it’s just to do with what I, as a woman, was up against forty year ago. I was the only female on the team, we were touring a country that was a terror with the Yorkshire Ripper, I wasn’t allowed to walk alone anywhere on any street around the UK and you know - that affects you creatively. When I listen to "The Blue Meaning" and hear and see something that is groundbreaking but also I just think people need to know that belongs forty years ago CHRIS: The album as you mentioned, "The Blue Meaning", out on the 28th of May and of course on there "It’s A Mystery", an original version. Is that right - it was with Blood Donor? TOYAH: Yes! Wonderful wonderful experimental synthesiser band Blood Donor and Keith Hale, who is the key creator of Blood Donor, also was one of the producers with Steve James on "Sheep Farming In Barnet". Steve James produced  "The Blue Meaning" with a pink vinyl (the 2021 reissue) and Keith Hale submitted a song called "It’s A Mystery" which the record company liked But "It’s A Mystery" at that time was something like a twelve minute intro vocal and then another twelve minute instrumental. So Keith and I rearranged it into an actual song and I wrote the lyrics for the second verse. And that of course went onto "Anthem" and became a massive hit      

CHRIS: Incredible. I’ve enjoyed having you in the studio with us for the Kent Sessions (May 2019) and it’s been really great having you perform and I know with our friend Chris Wong, your guitarist, just a lovely experience. It was such an intimate space, wasn’t it? It almost felt, when we brought some of the team down - when we could actually have a group of people in the same room … It was just chill out session it felt  - TOYAH: Yes, I remember, you had ten people in the room that sounded like 200 (Chris laughs) They were working very hard indeed. What’s lovely, with any song, if it works acoustically you know it’s a good song       CHRIS: Yeah   TOYAH: And songs do tend to hold out acoustically really well and for me it’s a great way of learning even more about the song. It really informs me as a performer CHRIS: You mentioned "The Blue Meaning" – that’s (on the cover of the album) Wykehurst Place in Sussex, isn’t it? So gothic TOYAH: Very gothic and very unusual at the time to use it in a photo shoot. I’m tied to the opening gates and my band are all in the windows. Then this (the back cover, below) is an iconic shot by Gered Mankowitz. I absolutely adore it. Gered photographs everyone from Freddie Mercury to Mick Jagger   right through to Blondie, Patti Smith And this is, as you say, coming out and it’s coming out on pink vinyl in celebration of my hair which I think is wonderful. Everyone loves vinyl. It’s tactile, it’s artistic, it allows people to feel that they own the music. They own the moment. Vinyl is incredibly popular  

CHRIS: Toyah, one of the loves I know looking back at certain parts of the career and a stones throw away from where I’m speaking to you now is Derek Jarman’s cottage, Prospect Cottage in Dungeness. What kind of impact as a film maker did he have with you? TOYAH: With me it was huge. I did my first ever movie with Derek Jarman and was "Jubilee" (below). At the moment there’s a movie being made about about The Sex Pistols where Jordan, who was a part manager of The Sex Pistols and Adam And The Ants - she features heavily in this movie. Jordan was the star of Jubilee alongside me, Jenny Runacre, Little Nell from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show"   Derek Jarman was someone that never compromised and he was always struggling for money. I remember with "Jubilee" it was made for £360 000 which is extraordinary because I made a cult hit (the film "Aaaaaaaah!") four years ago with Steve Oram for £20 000 and I’ve just shot and directed ten videos for my new album "Posh Pop" for £5000 ... so technology is shrinking budgets in a good way But Derek made "Jubilee" for £360 000 and it was a struggle. I remember we lived of sandwiches and water but he was a wonderful wonderful man to work with and what I loved about him he never compromised the picture for anything. John Marbury was the set builder, it was an astonishing artistic experience and then I went onto make "The Tempest" with Heathcote Williams playing Prospero and I was playing Miranda And again just saw Derek grow. Each movie he grew as an artist. And he was a visual artist as well as a physical artist. He designed sets for Ken Russel, he did the sets for the movie called "The Devils". He was a hands-on artist who influenced me incredibly

CHRIS: I walked into his cottage the first time when the art creative of Folkestone (Creative Folkestone) had got hold of the property and walking into that space, which I’d never been in because as a local I’d always seen it and as a kid we used to do art sitting in that space and you know I never got the chance and I know sometimes people talk about this but you felt that the sprit of Derek was there in the walls, in the floor, in the seats - TOYAH: In the garden - CHRIS: In the garden, obviously, so it was kind of an amazing experience and I know you’re talking about - Danny Boyle has been doing lots of filming locally, Folkestone and in the area to bring that together as well. You talked about a new album and the last 48 hours I guess you’ve been putting that together before chatting to me? TOYAH: Yes, I started the album in lockdown, it involved myself, my co-writer and producer Simon Darlow and my husband regularly testing so we could all be together. We finished recording the album a month ago, all the artwork’s being done, I’ve directed and shot ten videos that will be released alongside the album and that was all done in lockdown but you wouldn’t guess. We finished the mixing probably an hour ago. It’s a deliciously beautiful album called "Posh Pop"   And because of the experience we all had in lockdown and the increased communication with humanity and compassion towards humanity in this exceptional past 12 months I think this is one of my most connecting albums I have ever done in my entire career CHRIS: Wow! When do you think it will be out? TOYAH: The first single "Levitate" comes out on the 26th of June. We will be releasing singles every two weeks. The album is available on the 27th of August and that will be available in vinyl and in CD format and then just before Christmas you can buy all three of those formats along with the DVD of all the videos CHRIS: Toyah, it’s always brilliant talking to you. Thanks so much for being with me on the show tonight and reconnecting with all the music that you’re making and such great videos! People should go and watch you and Robert together! Brilliant! TOYAH: And I will be in your area gigging. I’m doing Let’s Rock Kent … I believe (laughs) … There’s so much going on! And I’m in St Mary’s (Magdalene Church) in Cobham (2.12.2021) so we are coming down to your area to play 

[unixcommerce]

Rodney Clark of Microsoft: COVID-19 Creates Opportunity to Massively Change Healthcare System

COVID-19 has stretched the American healthcare system to its limits, and beyond.  And things are changing in real-time in order to deal with a pandemic that has already cost more than 87,000 people their lives in a span of just over two months.  And technology is at the heart of that change as IoT and mixed reality devices are enabling telemedicine to dramatically increase, and the manufacture of ventilators to ramp up to produce numbers in months that typically take several years to push out.

Microsoft has been involved in developing IoT and mixed reality technologies for years.  And during a recent LinkedIn Live conversation with Rodney Clark, VP of IoT Devices and Mixed Reality for Microsoft, I had a chance to learn how these technologies are being used during the pandemic to help the healthcare system meet the needs of patients and caregivers fighting the virus. Rodney also gives us a glimpse of how IoT and mixed reality devices will change other industries well after the pandemic is over.

To hear the full interview click on the embedded SoundCloud player.

And below is an edited transcript of our conversation.

Small Business Trends: How has IoT evolved over the years?

Rodney Clark: For more than 30 years now, we’ve been providing and supporting these fixed purpose devices with our Windows Embedded operating system. You go back to the early days of CE and some of the HP handhelds. You go back to some of those industrial scenarios with Beckhoff and Siemens that we’re really looking for runtime or near runtime scenarios to actually manage and to control some of their industrial devices. Well that business matured over years. When I stepped into the role, what we started seeing is that more and more of those embedded systems were talking to each other machine to machine, communicating critical data and information. Sensor Fabric started to develop and we started getting into heavier compute gateways that can aggregate a lot of that data and information.

When we saw that we said, look, if machine to machine is now, because of connectivity, a reality, then we should be in a position to extend data platforms with the same customers and partners that we’ve been building these embedded systems with. At about that same time in our company, we developed something as part of our Azure core services called the intelligence system service, which was as simple as an SDK on an Edge device that facilitated machine to machine that then got you into a broader set of data services.

From there, Azure IoT was born and we started investing and accelerating the set of services, getting to Ingestion Engine, things like Azure IoT hub, getting into IoT Central, Simple Device Management, scenario and solution cloud-based. From our perspective, with simple machine to machine as cloud and connectivity, businesses started to grow and accelerate; we started to see that specific need for data rich, data intensive environments coming from the Edge, and then building a set of solutions and capabilities that can help you interpret and analyze that information.

And so that’s, what’s happened over the last six years. And in that same time, we’ve gone from selling bits and pieces to partners and customers to building solutions with them.

Small Business Trends: What’s mixed reality? Where does that fit in?

Rodney Clark: For us, it is a way to accelerate and enhance human capabilities. It’s a way to visualize data and enact and interact with the environment in ways that feel extremely human, extremely natural. This isn’t a virtual setting. This is you’re in, and you’re manipulating objects. You know, things like object rendering, object recognition, we have a service in spatial anchors where you can really create a space and you can go back into and you can anchor objects in that space and you can go in and you can manipulate them with dexterity with one hand to hand. So this notion of mixed reality and then everything that HoloLens brings on top of that as a hero device has in essence created this business opportunity that we see. And again, there are peer definitions of mixed reality, but for the sake of this conversation, I’ll stop there.

Small Business Trends: I’ve seen where a smart thermometer company was able to use the data coming from their customers to locate potential Covid outbreaks by identifying spikes in temperatures in geographic regions.  How is Covid-19 impacting the adoption of these technologies?

Rodney Clark: Let me start with the thermometer example. And then I’ll tie it in even to the mixed reality solution in scenario. I think in every case, COVID has created an opportunity for massive change in the healthcare system. We’ve seen ventilator production in the last three, four months that is worth traditionally seven, eight years in terms of volume. There was this ventilator challenge in the UK, which is a consortium of major UK industrial technology and engineering companies across all sectors like aerospace automotive, including medical. The HoloLens was actually used along with a set of absence scenarios to create and capture training. This guided workers and had an instruction set on how to basically produce the ventilators and then ultimately install them through the use of something like guides or PTCs, euphoria expert capture.

Tying it into your mixed reality statement, Dynamics 365 Remote Assist, is a big part of that. Dynamics 365 Guides in terms of training modules is a big part of that. What it did is it enabled those tools, as well as this mixed reality device, the manufacturing or the acceleration of these ventilators. Now, if I connect that to the thermometer solution and scenario, what you will see and what we have seen in working with partners, GE is a great example, another one where we accelerated ventilator production and then we also through a cloud and data platform enabled them to better see and monitor patient data and information. So they could start to aggregate trends, they can start to recognize some of those anomalies and they can treat more effectively in the hospital that extends and will extend into telemedicine.

Think about the edge points, the ability to collect and leverage that information and data, share it in a secure way that incorporates all the elements and aspects of privacy. That’s what IoT is bringing and delivering from the manufacturing of those devices and making sure we have the secure, connected endpoint along with the patient experience, be it an app on the phone or some other tool that you would log into from the hospital, and then ultimately that care provider being able to manage that information and data while protecting privacy. Those are the types of scenarios that are being accelerated because of COVID-19.

Small Business Trends: What do you think the other side of the pandemic is going to look like after we get through it?

Rodney Clark: Again, I’ll do a healthcare scenario. We have a partnership with PCL construction company and also data company. They’re now a software company in addition to what they’ve done traditionally, as well as Insight, it’s a portable care unit. And today it’s used in healthcare, which has basically an old shipping container. That’s retrofitted into a station where they can test people securely. And so think of a line forming and being able through thermal sensing to detect temperature of someone in line and being able to have kind of a pre diagnosis before they actually get up to the window that could also manage social distancing so that they can record and take information on whether or not that’s a potential cause.

So take that solution and just extend that to entertainment venues. What’s a large stadium? when you go and see your beloved Rams and you go and walk into the stadium where there are thousands of people, wouldn’t you want to see in the future, some type of scenario where they are doing some level of monitoring of that minimum temperature. So that that portable solution actually extends into entertainment. It might extend into retail scenarios. That forever changes how we do things.

Retail also will just forever be impacted and affected by this, that traditional retail. We are getting asked questions on, “Hey, how do we take that same in store experience and create data rich environments online?” Now there are companies who have mastered this as it relates to analytics, but now how do I personalize that to Rodney Clark or Brent Leary? Because now that’s the opportunity that I have and how do I leverage if a consumer opts in their information that they’re able to share with me to create that experience? That’s another significant change.

I’ll do two more really quickly. Cashless. Oh my gosh, half of the world is cashless and we’re not, we’re going to see an acceleration of cashless as well as no touch retail. And so you have a stores like Kroger or Target that have relied for years on the NCRs, or you have ATMs that will just be different experiences now that allow you to engage and interact with voice with gesture through coding and IoT is at the foundation of all of that, because it’s that interaction with an end point and it’s the management of the data, the analytics and the information.

There are other really impactful scenarios. One last one I’ll talk through is a smart city and ultimately how we will manage ourselves in this post COVID world. Now, this one is tough because there’s a lot of privacy concerns with it, but you do want to manage how crowds gather and where they gather over time. And you want to be able to create safe spaces for people to do that. And one of the ways to do that, there are two… There’re many ways, but one of the ways to do that is just to is through data and information and using data and information to create more of those spaces and spreading out where maybe there’s one park in a two kilometer radius, maybe it provides the traffic flow that’s being collected from cameras.

Maybe it provides the city an opportunity to put in another park in that same 2k radius. Smart grid and smart energy management. Hey, we’re all at home and I am tapping the heck out of my grid. Right? Right now and I’m not sure if we lost connectivity on wifi, because this is a popular time in my house. Everyone’s online but look the lights are on AC is going to be on for longer during the day. And so we’re getting a lot of requests as well from cities around how to basically manage their grids and some of the technologies that we use to do that. So there are a number of areas that will forever be impacted and affected by this.

Small Business Trends: Give us what you think companies should be doing now in order to prepare for when we do get past this and be in a position to take full advantage of some of the things that we’re talking about.

Rodney Clark: I’m going to answer this, Brent, from the two points of view and perspectives. One is from a Microsoft perspective and when I say Microsoft in this case, I mean companies that can help small businesses and other enterprises and overall communities kind of snap back to normal. And then I want to give some guidance to those companies. If I think about a company’s responsibility, there’s a community support that we all have to lean in on, there is remote working support. We’ve got to make sure that we are supporting our families who have a burden on educating children. And again, this notion of work from home doesn’t mean work all the time. There’s a ton that we can be doing to lean in on these data systems and solutions and providing that tech expertise that allows these companies to take the next step.

Rodney Clark: I think that acceleration out of this is about digital transformation. We already have a shortage of data scientists because of these nontraditional tech companies that have taken on this notion of being software and services companies on their own. We have a lot of companies out there that need help through this DT, this digital transformation journey, and then where you can, and you’ve seen a lot of companies lean in on the research aspect and really getting behind cures be they preventative or diagnostic. And so we’re companies can do that we should do that. So, those are kind of like the super high level, like how we come out of this together.

I think we also, and this is now kind of guidance and advice to those who were in the retail space to those who are in manufacturing to those who are planning the smart cities. You have to think beyond where we are currently. And if you want to differentiate, you have to think about the experience that you want to provide your consumers, your customers, that stadium experience is a great example, we’ve got the Seahawks stadium here, I won’t mention it because it would be a plug for a brand.

They need to be thinking about how they are going to make every single participant, every single customer that comes through those Gates feel safe. If you’re in a retail environment, you’ve got to think about this cashless, no touch experience. Our commercial real estate companies have to think about how they manage their tenants and their business portfolios and profiles moving forward.

So the thing that every company can do, and by the way, these… I really have been impressed with a lot of these event management companies. You and I were talking a little earlier about how much you spend on… time, you spend on the road and going to these live events. Wow. Has it not forced these traditional experiential companies to get really focused on online and virtual, that’s seeing around corners. And if there is not a natural process to slow down and do that planning for companies in all industries, especially for those who are small and midsize, who probably think they don’t have the time to do it, this is the time to do it. That’s how we come out of it.

When you get to a point where you’re asking questions and you don’t have the answers, then that’s when you turn back to the Microsofts of the world to help you with the kind of four or five things that I laid out previously. So super lofty answer, but it’s not a simple one. I know and I want your audience and these companies to know that we’re here to help. rodneyc@microsoft.com. If there’s anything that I can do, any way that I can put you in contact to help you be successful on this new wave, this next wave, then I’m all in.

This article, “Rodney Clark of Microsoft: COVID-19 Creates Opportunity to Massively Change Healthcare System” was first published on Small Business Trends

https://smallbiztrends.com/

The post Rodney Clark of Microsoft: COVID-19 Creates Opportunity to Massively Change Healthcare System appeared first on Unix Commerce.

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[businessreviewguidenow]

Rodney Clark of Microsoft: COVID-19 Creates Opportunity to Massively Change Healthcare System

COVID-19 has stretched the American healthcare system to its limits, and beyond.  And things are changing in real-time in order to deal with a pandemic that has already cost more than 87,000 people their lives in a span of just over two months.  And technology is at the heart of that change as IoT and mixed reality devices are enabling telemedicine to dramatically increase, and the manufacture of ventilators to ramp up to produce numbers in months that typically take several years to push out.

Microsoft has been involved in developing IoT and mixed reality technologies for years.  And during a recent LinkedIn Live conversation with Rodney Clark, VP of IoT Devices and Mixed Reality for Microsoft, I had a chance to learn how these technologies are being used during the pandemic to help the healthcare system meet the needs of patients and caregivers fighting the virus. Rodney also gives us a glimpse of how IoT and mixed reality devices will change other industries well after the pandemic is over.

To hear the full interview click on the embedded SoundCloud player.

And below is an edited transcript of our conversation.

Small Business Trends: How has IoT evolved over the years?

Rodney Clark: For more than 30 years now, we’ve been providing and supporting these fixed purpose devices with our Windows Embedded operating system. You go back to the early days of CE and some of the HP handhelds. You go back to some of those industrial scenarios with Beckhoff and Siemens that we’re really looking for runtime or near runtime scenarios to actually manage and to control some of their industrial devices. Well that business matured over years. When I stepped into the role, what we started seeing is that more and more of those embedded systems were talking to each other machine to machine, communicating critical data and information. Sensor Fabric started to develop and we started getting into heavier compute gateways that can aggregate a lot of that data and information.

When we saw that we said, look, if machine to machine is now, because of connectivity, a reality, then we should be in a position to extend data platforms with the same customers and partners that we’ve been building these embedded systems with. At about that same time in our company, we developed something as part of our Azure core services called the intelligence system service, which was as simple as an SDK on an Edge device that facilitated machine to machine that then got you into a broader set of data services.

From there, Azure IoT was born and we started investing and accelerating the set of services, getting to Ingestion Engine, things like Azure IoT hub, getting into IoT Central, Simple Device Management, scenario and solution cloud-based. From our perspective, with simple machine to machine as cloud and connectivity, businesses started to grow and accelerate; we started to see that specific need for data rich, data intensive environments coming from the Edge, and then building a set of solutions and capabilities that can help you interpret and analyze that information.

And so that’s, what’s happened over the last six years. And in that same time, we’ve gone from selling bits and pieces to partners and customers to building solutions with them.

Small Business Trends: What’s mixed reality? Where does that fit in?

Rodney Clark: For us, it is a way to accelerate and enhance human capabilities. It’s a way to visualize data and enact and interact with the environment in ways that feel extremely human, extremely natural. This isn’t a virtual setting. This is you’re in, and you’re manipulating objects. You know, things like object rendering, object recognition, we have a service in spatial anchors where you can really create a space and you can go back into and you can anchor objects in that space and you can go in and you can manipulate them with dexterity with one hand to hand. So this notion of mixed reality and then everything that HoloLens brings on top of that as a hero device has in essence created this business opportunity that we see. And again, there are peer definitions of mixed reality, but for the sake of this conversation, I’ll stop there.

Small Business Trends: I’ve seen where a smart thermometer company was able to use the data coming from their customers to locate potential Covid outbreaks by identifying spikes in temperatures in geographic regions.  How is Covid-19 impacting the adoption of these technologies?

Rodney Clark: Let me start with the thermometer example. And then I’ll tie it in even to the mixed reality solution in scenario. I think in every case, COVID has created an opportunity for massive change in the healthcare system. We’ve seen ventilator production in the last three, four months that is worth traditionally seven, eight years in terms of volume. There was this ventilator challenge in the UK, which is a consortium of major UK industrial technology and engineering companies across all sectors like aerospace automotive, including medical. The HoloLens was actually used along with a set of absence scenarios to create and capture training. This guided workers and had an instruction set on how to basically produce the ventilators and then ultimately install them through the use of something like guides or PTCs, euphoria expert capture.

Tying it into your mixed reality statement, Dynamics 365 Remote Assist, is a big part of that. Dynamics 365 Guides in terms of training modules is a big part of that. What it did is it enabled those tools, as well as this mixed reality device, the manufacturing or the acceleration of these ventilators. Now, if I connect that to the thermometer solution and scenario, what you will see and what we have seen in working with partners, GE is a great example, another one where we accelerated ventilator production and then we also through a cloud and data platform enabled them to better see and monitor patient data and information. So they could start to aggregate trends, they can start to recognize some of those anomalies and they can treat more effectively in the hospital that extends and will extend into telemedicine.

Think about the edge points, the ability to collect and leverage that information and data, share it in a secure way that incorporates all the elements and aspects of privacy. That’s what IoT is bringing and delivering from the manufacturing of those devices and making sure we have the secure, connected endpoint along with the patient experience, be it an app on the phone or some other tool that you would log into from the hospital, and then ultimately that care provider being able to manage that information and data while protecting privacy. Those are the types of scenarios that are being accelerated because of COVID-19.

Small Business Trends: What do you think the other side of the pandemic is going to look like after we get through it?

Rodney Clark: Again, I’ll do a healthcare scenario. We have a partnership with PCL construction company and also data company. They’re now a software company in addition to what they’ve done traditionally, as well as Insight, it’s a portable care unit. And today it’s used in healthcare, which has basically an old shipping container. That’s retrofitted into a station where they can test people securely. And so think of a line forming and being able through thermal sensing to detect temperature of someone in line and being able to have kind of a pre diagnosis before they actually get up to the window that could also manage social distancing so that they can record and take information on whether or not that’s a potential cause.

So take that solution and just extend that to entertainment venues. What’s a large stadium? when you go and see your beloved Rams and you go and walk into the stadium where there are thousands of people, wouldn’t you want to see in the future, some type of scenario where they are doing some level of monitoring of that minimum temperature. So that that portable solution actually extends into entertainment. It might extend into retail scenarios. That forever changes how we do things.

Retail also will just forever be impacted and affected by this, that traditional retail. We are getting asked questions on, “Hey, how do we take that same in store experience and create data rich environments online?” Now there are companies who have mastered this as it relates to analytics, but now how do I personalize that to Rodney Clark or Brent Leary? Because now that’s the opportunity that I have and how do I leverage if a consumer opts in their information that they’re able to share with me to create that experience? That’s another significant change.

I’ll do two more really quickly. Cashless. Oh my gosh, half of the world is cashless and we’re not, we’re going to see an acceleration of cashless as well as no touch retail. And so you have a stores like Kroger or Target that have relied for years on the NCRs, or you have ATMs that will just be different experiences now that allow you to engage and interact with voice with gesture through coding and IoT is at the foundation of all of that, because it’s that interaction with an end point and it’s the management of the data, the analytics and the information.

There are other really impactful scenarios. One last one I’ll talk through is a smart city and ultimately how we will manage ourselves in this post COVID world. Now, this one is tough because there’s a lot of privacy concerns with it, but you do want to manage how crowds gather and where they gather over time. And you want to be able to create safe spaces for people to do that. And one of the ways to do that, there are two… There’re many ways, but one of the ways to do that is just to is through data and information and using data and information to create more of those spaces and spreading out where maybe there’s one park in a two kilometer radius, maybe it provides the traffic flow that’s being collected from cameras.

Maybe it provides the city an opportunity to put in another park in that same 2k radius. Smart grid and smart energy management. Hey, we’re all at home and I am tapping the heck out of my grid. Right? Right now and I’m not sure if we lost connectivity on wifi, because this is a popular time in my house. Everyone’s online but look the lights are on AC is going to be on for longer during the day. And so we’re getting a lot of requests as well from cities around how to basically manage their grids and some of the technologies that we use to do that. So there are a number of areas that will forever be impacted and affected by this.

Small Business Trends: Give us what you think companies should be doing now in order to prepare for when we do get past this and be in a position to take full advantage of some of the things that we’re talking about.

Rodney Clark: I’m going to answer this, Brent, from the two points of view and perspectives. One is from a Microsoft perspective and when I say Microsoft in this case, I mean companies that can help small businesses and other enterprises and overall communities kind of snap back to normal. And then I want to give some guidance to those companies. If I think about a company’s responsibility, there’s a community support that we all have to lean in on, there is remote working support. We’ve got to make sure that we are supporting our families who have a burden on educating children. And again, this notion of work from home doesn’t mean work all the time. There’s a ton that we can be doing to lean in on these data systems and solutions and providing that tech expertise that allows these companies to take the next step.

Rodney Clark: I think that acceleration out of this is about digital transformation. We already have a shortage of data scientists because of these nontraditional tech companies that have taken on this notion of being software and services companies on their own. We have a lot of companies out there that need help through this DT, this digital transformation journey, and then where you can, and you’ve seen a lot of companies lean in on the research aspect and really getting behind cures be they preventative or diagnostic. And so we’re companies can do that we should do that. So, those are kind of like the super high level, like how we come out of this together.

I think we also, and this is now kind of guidance and advice to those who were in the retail space to those who are in manufacturing to those who are planning the smart cities. You have to think beyond where we are currently. And if you want to differentiate, you have to think about the experience that you want to provide your consumers, your customers, that stadium experience is a great example, we’ve got the Seahawks stadium here, I won’t mention it because it would be a plug for a brand.

They need to be thinking about how they are going to make every single participant, every single customer that comes through those Gates feel safe. If you’re in a retail environment, you’ve got to think about this cashless, no touch experience. Our commercial real estate companies have to think about how they manage their tenants and their business portfolios and profiles moving forward.

So the thing that every company can do, and by the way, these… I really have been impressed with a lot of these event management companies. You and I were talking a little earlier about how much you spend on… time, you spend on the road and going to these live events. Wow. Has it not forced these traditional experiential companies to get really focused on online and virtual, that’s seeing around corners. And if there is not a natural process to slow down and do that planning for companies in all industries, especially for those who are small and midsize, who probably think they don’t have the time to do it, this is the time to do it. That’s how we come out of it.

When you get to a point where you’re asking questions and you don’t have the answers, then that’s when you turn back to the Microsofts of the world to help you with the kind of four or five things that I laid out previously. So super lofty answer, but it’s not a simple one. I know and I want your audience and these companies to know that we’re here to help. rodneyc@microsoft.com. If there’s anything that I can do, any way that I can put you in contact to help you be successful on this new wave, this next wave, then I’m all in.

This article, “Rodney Clark of Microsoft: COVID-19 Creates Opportunity to Massively Change Healthcare System” was first published on Small Business Trends

source https://smallbiztrends.com/2020/05/iot-during-coronavirus.html

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[siliconwebx]

How Writing a Mission Statement Can Keep Your Freelance Business on Track

“Mission statement” is sort of a buzzword, isn’t it? Pithy sentences that convey what the CEO wants customers to believe, even if it’s not an accurate reflection of how they’re treated.

My favorite example of this is Planet Fitness. Their mission statement starts out with, “At Planet Fitness, we’re here to provide a unique environment in which anyone – and we mean anyone – can be comfortable. A diverse, Judgement Free Zone® where a lasting, active lifestyle can be built.” I don’t know about your Planet Fitness, but mine is run by the judge-iest people in town; they also serve bagels and pizza every week.

Then there are the brands that hit the nail right on the head, like the Walt Disney Company. And for anyone who feels that Disney is just a money-making machine, they’ve even included the idea of profitability right in their mission statement:

Now, you probably don’t ever read a brand’s mission statement. It’s usually buried in the website a little, on the About page or a subpage of the About section. Maybe it’s in the description part of a social media profile. Sometimes it’s referred to by the head of the company or the marketing manager. The point is that even if you have heard a brand’s mission statement, you can’t repeat it verbatim like you can their slogan. “America runs on Dunkin'” is Dunkin’ Donuts’ tagline, not their mission statement.

The fact that mission statements aren’t in your face isn’t an accident. Brands express their values in many ways, and while their mission statement clarifies and guides those values, brands know that consumers don’t care what they have to say – they care how they show it.

Mission statements are necessary, but they’re for you – they reflect what you stand for and inform the decisions you make; they’re a starting point that will guide everything else you do that is customer-facing. Without one, it’s easy to get off track and start making decisions that won’t lead you to your best freelance life.

Freelancers Should Have Mission Statements

Mission statements are what drive brands (in theory), but freelancers don’t always realize they can and should have their own, too. I wrote mine a few years ago, at a time when I was weeding out not-so-great clients and wondering who I should pull in to replace them:

I provide tailored ideas, polished articles and trustworthy editorial support for creative brands and professionals. Elevated writing endures, and I work to create the type of warm, unforgettable copy that’s always charmed me.

This helped me clarify who I wanted to work, who I wanted to be as a freelancer and what type of work to take on. It also guides me when I’m getting off track – when I’m about to say yes to that red flag of a client or I’m debating if I feel like changing my voice to suit their style.

This is Not a Vision Statement

A mission statement is not the same thing as a vision statement. A vision statement is a description of where you see yourself upon achieving what you laid out in the mission statement. The Alzheimer’s Association has both their vision statement and their mission statement on their website, and it’s an excellent illustration of the difference:

Your vision statement reaches for the stars; it’s already living its best life. Your mission statement is the actual work that’ll get you there.

Creating Your Freelance Mission Statement

Warning: This part is messy. Creating a mission statement, like creating anything, starts with a bunch of balled-up pieces of paper, red pen, maybe some tears, a good half hour questioning why the Hell you chose to be a freelancer, and then it magically turns into three perfect, glowing sentences.

My point is that there isn’t one way to do this, which is why this section will skip around a bit.

Elements of a Mission Statement

Your mission statement has to be actionable. It can’t laze around in the sun, sipping a mojito, celebrating accomplishments it hasn’t achieved yet. Here are a few things you want to convey in your mission statement:

The actual products or services you deliver.

Inspiration for you and the people on your team.

The problem you’re solving for…

…your audience.

No? Okay, try this.

Let’s break it down even more. Simplify it by answering the old standards: who, what, why and how. Some people will tell you to do this in a specific order, but I don’t think you have to make it complicated. Answer the questions in whatever order the answers come to you.

Who?

Who are you serving? Hopefully, you know who your audience is. If not, you’ll need to figure that out. Create a brand persona based on who your clients or customers are right now or who you ideally want to work with.

What?

What are you giving your clients or customers? Which products or services are you delivering? Then, get into the value you’re giving your customers. What demands are you meeting, what problems are you solving? A gas station supplies gas through a gas pump, their most basic “what.” But what they’re giving you is fuel for your car…for that road trip…to win back the love of your life…

Why?

Why are you producing the work you’re producing? What pulled you into the freelancing world? Now, keep going – every time you answer one “why,” ask another “why.” Do this until you’re ready to punch yourself in the face. You’re getting down to the heart of your freelance life, finding the passion and maybe even remembering why you started in the first place.

How?

This one’s a little tricky. You don’t want to lay out your business processes here. Instead, the “how” is about how your business incorporates your values. For example, maybe you provide a higher value service than your competitors; you only sell products that are beneficial for the environment; or you encourage innovation in everyone from your team to your customers.

Still drawing a blank, huh.

I know from my experience as a writing tutor that, for some people, as soon as you say, “What? Just tell me. Just tell me, in any words you want, what you’re thinking,” they instantly clam up. If that’s happening, I have another exercise for you.

Pretend that tonight, when the clock strikes midnight, you’re out of business. Maybe you’ve chosen to be out of business or your computer dies and takes everything you’ve done along with it. Whatever. Your business is no more.

What would happen? Who would be affected? How much would they care and what would they care about specifically? What problems were you solving that your clients will now have to deal with again? How would other freelancers be impacted – would they get your clients now? Would the team you built have to scramble to find work?

By answering these questions, you’re discovering the ingredients that drive you and your business. You’re evaluating your worth as a freelancer and figuring out why you carved out this niche for yourself.

Finishing Up (and then Starting Over)

Your mission statement should be pretty short. A few sentences, tops. If you can’t blurt it out as an elevator pitch, if the sharks on Shark Tank would cut you off midway through, if you can’t memorize it, it’s too long.

Here’s a writing secret: 500 or 5000 words are easier to write than a compelling 50. Take time with this. Read and reread it, then don’t look at it for a week before you read it again. If something is nagging at you – a punctuation mark that looks out of place, a word that doesn’t quite flow – keep brainstorming and revising until it’s perfect. You’ll know when you get there.

Change Your Mission Statement as Your Business Changes

Your current mission statement isn’t going to be with you forever. With any luck, you’ll grow out of it as your business evolves. You could also realize that your mission statement no longer reflects who are you, who you serve and what you bring to your business and your clients. Maybe you can’t evolve until you get a better handle on your values. Updating your mission statement will help.

Your mission statement can act as a signpost when you’re starting to waver. It will point you in the right direction so you’re always making the best decisions for your freelance goals. It tells you what you should do and shouldn’t do, and it tells you all of that quickly. Use it as much as you need as a visual reminder of what you’re doing, why you’re doing it and where you’re going.

This isn’t simple stuff. If you’re having a hard time figuring out why you’re freelancing, check out our article about finding purpose in your work and life.

The post How Writing a Mission Statement Can Keep Your Freelance Business on Track appeared first on Elegant Themes Blog.

😉SiliconWebX | 🌐ElegantThemes

[pisati]

I know what you mean by I want no part of this. sort of. I’m sure I told you in a voice clip at some point in the last few weeks; I get that feeling when I think about my future sometimes. just, if this is how it feels forever, if my health never improves, if I never do anything that makes me happy... what’s the point? I don’t think I’ve been directly affected by anyone’s cruelty, necessarily, but I’ve definitely looked at the world in a macro sense and thought the same. I don’t want it. that feeling makes me want to run off to some tiny village in Iceland and live out the rest of my life away from everyone and everything. 

you still have a lot of love in your heart, though. that is a little confusing. you enjoy life but want it to be gone and done with, in a sense? I mean, I think I get it. there are still beautiful and wonderful things in the world. there are certainly things that feel worth it, sometimes. but I also know that feeling so dulled makes everything else feel dulled too. it would be a relief to be away from all of it and not have to feel anything about anything at all.

I know that what happened was absolutely awful, and I know it wrecked your perception of everything up til that point. it’s completely understandable that you numbed out and kept everything in. it breaks my heart, though, to hear that literally everything in your life has been affected by this. I’ve felt it in your interactions with me, and I hear it in your tone. and you try to cover it up with humor sometimes, but, like... I do the same thing. it’s not fooling me. you’ve got so much more to offer in life, and it really does make me sad that you feel like you’re just kind of waiting until your time is up so you can dip out. I feel like that sometimes too, and that’s no way to live. it’s not fair that other people could have this much of an impact on your entire life. they don’t deserve to have clear consciences while you deal with the aftermath of their actions.

I do think that you got caught up with some of the few truly terrible people in the world, though. what they did was unconscionable. at the very least they could have listened to you, leveled with you person to person, but they chose not to. they seem like heavily distrustful and manipulative people, and you even know that you’re not the only one they’ve done things like that to. and I know you know this, but not everyone that goes to church on sundays is a Christian. to be something, at least something that isn’t inherent to your existence, I think you need to embody it wholly and not just performatively. say you’re Christian all you want; go to church, wear a crucifix. but if you treat people cruelly and aren’t loving and understanding, you don’t embrace Christian values. plain and simple. people put on façades and say things they don’t mean, and that is also cruel to anyone who is affected by it. you weren’t in the wrong to love as you did and to treat people with the same kindness you expected them to have.

I don’t think this is “the nature of people”, necessarily, though. you really did just happen to run in with some of the really bad ones. people are fucked up in many different ways, but a lot of the time it just affects themselves. I understand your distrust, though. one experience really can be enough to ruin the rest of them. I was actually thinking on my way back from my guitar lesson tonight: I remembered after that really bad car accident I was in, I was terrified of being back on the road. when I first started driving, I expected people to have learned the rules of the road as I did. I expected them to watch and wait and be careful. my dad taught me that if I messed up on the road, missed a turn or something, I needed to maneuver as safely as I could to get back on track, even if that meant a big detour. my accident happened because the man that hit me didn’t look up when he gunned it back onto the through-lanes out of a turn lane and flipped my car on its side. I went into actual shock while I was sitting there, still strapped into my seat and pressing myself back with the steering wheel. I remember unbuckling myself, pawing uselessly at the sunroof, squeaking help. I remember a few men pulled over, helped me get the passenger door open over my head, and lifted me down. once the reality of everything set in, the fear set in too. who was to say, if this man could break the rules and almost kill me, that literally every other person on the road couldn’t do the same? this was so far out of what I expected. that’s not how you drive. if you’re in a turn lane you’re supposed to turn. if you say I love you you’re supposed to mean it. you learn instantly that you can’t trust anyone. and it really can take one big thing to ruin your trust entirely.

I’m curious though; did you see M blocking and deleting you multiple times as red flags? was she unstable as well? were her parents influencing that or did she really get upset with you over trivial things and try to cut you off? that coupled with the fact that you still, after two years, have no apology or explanation... I don’t know, man. I still have to wonder why you keep her close. I understand that being manipulated can make someone into a person they’re not. I know you two have a long history, and a whole relationship full of nuances that I’m not privy to. I don’t know her or hardly anything about her, and I want to believe that she really is a sweet girl who was just in a terrible situation. maybe it isn’t my place at all to say anything, and I’m not asking you to do or change anything, by any means. but it still seems to me like it’s not a healthy thing to keep around, you know? imagine if this were me, if the tables were turned here. if I were holding on to someone who hurt me like that, absolutely wrecked who I was as a person, even though I had a long history with them and still cared about them. what would you say to me?

maybe you’ll never be the person you were before, but I think that’s okay. life changes us, though some of us are changed in drastic and unfortunate ways. maybe this wasn’t how it was supposed to be, but I think there’s a way you can work with yourself as you are now. be the best version of this you. or, at least, better. we’re still changing; life is still changing us. it’s been two years now, but soon it’ll be four. and ten. and further and further, and so much will happen in that time. you don’t have to pressure yourself to change and grow, or take it to heart if you feel stagnant, but I think in time you’ll find you’re doing better, looking back. I wouldn’t expect you to be "back to normal” after two years, god knows. this was heavily traumatic; I hope you know that even I can see that from an outsider’s perspective. I don’t even know the full scope of it, but I don’t need to. I understand that it’s changed you drastically and permanently and I don’t expect you to be any kind of way, least of all for my sake.

I understand why you push me away. I absolutely get it. and I don’t want to force myself closer to you than you’re comfortable with. but I’m also not any kind of “emotionally innocent”, so please don’t worry you’re going to hurt me like that. maybe I’m more trusting than a lot of people, and maybe it’s a little naive to want to believe that people are mostly good and want to do good (but sometimes go about it in awful ways to line up with their perception of “good”). but I’ve accepted that if I get hurt, it’s because someone took advantage of my trust. so far getting hurt hasn’t changed that in me, it’s just made me close myself off so I don’t put my trust in anyone else. I’ve also been hurt by people I care very much about. in different ways, of course, but I’ve done my fair share of numbing out and pushing people away. I’m more cautious now. you’re not putting anything on me, though, promise. I don’t feel burdened at all by the darkness you carry. I don’t worry that you’re going to take advantage of my trust, which is why I’ve opened up to you as much as I have. 

but I do think the only good basis for any friendship, relationship, whatever, is communication. you’ve already been really good about it. I appreciate your candor with everything, more than you know, and I feel really privileged that you’ve allowed me close enough to know these things about you. I try to be as communicative as I can too, and I apologize again if I’m ever too abrasive or if my tone comes across as harsh. no matter what I’m upset about, if I get upset: I do not want to hurt you. ever. I don’t even know if I’m capable of having any kind of malicious intent towards someone I care about, lol. even the people that have hurt me the most... the worst I’ve ever done was leave them be; cut myself off from them. we’ve had our arguments, I’m sure, but I’ve never lashed out. if I make you uncomfortable or you think I should take a step back and cool off, please tell me. even a few weeks ago, we were still able to talk it through after things got heated. that’s the kind of communication I really value, and I hope that we can continue to have that kind of relationship: where we try to talk through it, whatever it is. that’s what I want to embody, and that’s not changing. I may not be the best at it yet, but you have to learn somehow.

on that same note, I also can’t make you trust me. I refuse to make any promises I can’t keep, so I can’t say I will never hurt you no matter what. but I can promise to try my damndest not to. you’ve been honest with me, which I really appreciate, so I at least have a clearer picture of what I’m up against, so to speak. I don’t have any expectations of you. what healing you have to do, you have to do it yourself, though of course I’d like to see you improve and help if you need it; if you’ll let me. I know you’re afraid of letting anyone close for fear that you’ll hurt them as well, but from where I’m at I just can’t see that happening. you’ll hurt me if I let you hurt me. I said it before and I’ll say it again: I’m not scared. I’m sure you think I underestimate it, and maybe I do. maybe I still don’t know everything there is to know about this darkness. but I empathize with the parts I do see, and it doesn’t scare me. it’s not a disease you can infect me with. what I see is someone who’s carried a lot of pain and who’s had to deal with it by learning to feel nothing and push everyone away, not unlike myself. I’m still genuinely curious to know what you think you’re capable of, that you’re afraid of doing to me. it seems to me you think I’m just not registering a threat, or that I think I’m above the possibility of being hurt somehow. 

I don’t see you as someone who would ever set out to hurt me intentionally. you’ve never seen me stick my hand blindly into a cage full of rats at the animal shelter, but there’s a reason I’ve got the most injury forms in my file, lol. it’s less that I go in blind, and more that I don’t mind getting bit. I know those rats aren’t out to hurt me, they're just scared. yes, they bite sometimes. yes, it hurts all the same. but it’s not the worst pain I’ve ever been in. I show them I’m not a threat, take them home to foster if I need to, give them love and treats, and eventually they warm up to me. I’m not saying that’s analogous to you, or what I expect from you, lol. like I said, I don’t have any expectations, and I know you’ve already said I can’t just warm you up like that. and that’s fine! but that’s my MO, with or without you, you know? I’m here. I’m glad to offer a hand to hold if you’re willing to take it. you’re not going to turn me cold. I want to show you as much as I can that I’m safe. you can nip at me all you want, or close yourself off, or do whatever else it is you’re afraid you’re gonna do, but I somehow doubt you could ever do close to the damage that’s already been done. I want you to know you can feel safe with me, but all I can do is say it. how you feel about it is up to you. 

that goes back to the communication thing: if you’re scared something bad might happen, or unsure about how you feel, or literally whatever else, we can always talk about it before anyone gets hurt. I take pride in being good about allowing time for getting thoughts together as well. no leaving each other hanging, or wondering what the other did ‘wrong’. ok? I’m not going to do that to you either. and if I do unintentionally, you’re welcome to call me out. I don’t see it as bending backwards for you; this healthy communication thing is work. but I think it’ll be really, really helpful for both of us to be able to call time-out and talk.

anyways, now that’s more you have to read and possibly reply to, lol. sorry. I’m still really looking forward to planning a trip; I think it’ll be fun! I know you’re kinda concerned about me having a good time, but I don’t think I’ve ever been out of the country and absolutely hated it, lol. I want you to have a good time too. no stress, just a mini vacation at home with a pal who’s never been there before. I can already see us goofing around making breakfast, going on adventures, settling in for the night with a standup show or something on netflix. just, genuinely a good time, ya know? I’m looking forward to it.

[mubal4]

Roadtripping – 5th Leg, Fairplay, CO to Phoenix, AZ, & Wrap Up!!!

 It took me a few days to get back at this since it has been a bit hectic.  Bright and early Saturday, we said goodbye to Fariplay, CO, and our dear friends, the Shane’s.  However, not after having a sweet hike up Goat Mountain and a great night out with them and some other, fantastic people, the Fifield’s and Kusamato’s.  It had been many years since we seen both and we were so grateful to reconnect with them.  It was a four-dinner filled with great Mexican food, awesome conversation, reconnecting with terrific people, and enjoying simple things in life. Saturday morning came quick and Robin and I got on the road before 6am for our eleven-hour drive down to Phoenix. It was an uneventful experience, except for a monsoon through southeast Colorado that had some roads flooded. The drive did have some epic scenery and cool landscape; much of what attracts me to this part of the country.

 In northern Arizona, there is the town of Flagstaff, which is home to the San Francisco peaks, and Mt. Humphries, the tallest peak in AZ at 12,000 + elevation.  During my 100-mile race last year we ran up the western shoulder of it and that provided some fantastic views of northern AZ.  The picture below is a shot as we entered Flagstaff from the northeast; really like this part of AZ and feel that I will be spending a lot of time up in these hills, only about 90 minutes from our house.  And, if we ever get homesick for snow or the fall colors, we can visit as well to get our fix 😊.  

 We had a hotel room for Saturday and Sunday night since the movers were not coming until Monday morning and, well, we didn’t want to sleep on the floor in our new home; so, we had a little bit of a vacation if you will.  Sunday, we got up early, went for a run and headed over to the new house to see what type of work we might have to do over the next few weeks to get it ready for the girls to arrive.  We were pleased to see how clean it was and that it was in pretty great shape.  The work we have ahead of us is mostly cosmetic, with some landscaping ideas for an area of the backyard.  We know it won’t be ideal, but we also know that we want to put in this work, must put in this work, to get this house to be our home!! Robin did have some fun picking out our living room couch (it was fun for me too) and a desk for my office. Still working on patio furniture and other elements for the yard area but made some great progress on Sunday and ended that night with some of our wonderful friends in Phoenix, treating us to a delicious dinner – Thanks ladies & Brent 😊!!

 Monday we were up early again to meet the movers and then the process of getting our stuff moved in and starting to unpack began. The last several days, being transparent, have been stressful for me.  With the moving in, unpacking, getting stuff purchased for the house, meetings, calls, and other responsibilities, it has been a challenge, and being honest, I haven’t been the best version of myself at times.  Robin has been my rock and has kept me from losing my shit at times; and for the most part, she has been successful 😊. Looking back on this entire process and reflecting on it, I realize, as I write now, that the challenges are going to come, and this type of endeavor will be hard.  There will be many moments that are not ideal, just like everything in life.  Just because it is your vision and mission, doesn’t mean you will go through it without inconvenience.  Hell, if the process is convenient, are you really testing yourself? Are you getting uncomfortable?  As I wrote a few weeks back, much of the process leading up to the physical move felt natural.  Things seem to fall into place, with effort, but I felt that God was lining up the stones to step on throughout the process. The last few days, I feel the devil is taking stones away as I step to take me off course; or, God’s way of helping me realize how bad I want this vision to come true?  Well, it has come true!!  We are living where we feel we are supposed to be.  We have the opportunity to create the life we want to live, living in the house we believe is to be our home, surrounded by opportunities for us to thrive. It is supposed to be difficult, challenging, not-ideal, had, frustrating, aggravating………humbling. Right now, I am completely out of routine; my commitments, nutrition, training, all the things I got comfortable doing the last several years have taken second priority to getting our life, home, and mission in place.  That makes me extremely uncomfortable right now.  It is hard for me and I will be truthful, Robin and I talk about it daily. We are both aware of some tension, both of our stress is having on us as individuals and us and a couple.  It is not easy, and I believe it is also a test to see how bad we want each other……. Yes, after almost 17 years.  You are always going to be tested, specially with relationships and marriage.  

 I guess we moved past the last leg and into the wrap-up 😊.  As I write this I am on a plane to Portland, OR for work.  Prior to me getting on the flight, Robin and I had a deep discussion about how the next 36 hours will be good for us.  We spent, roughly, the last 20 days together in stressful circumstances, albeit, ones we decided to create, the last two weeks, away from our daughters, driving 3200 miles, and really not spending a moment away from each other.  I do believe Robin will agree with me on this, we love each other to infinity and beyond, but any relationship is going to need a break after that.  The hard part for me there is breaking that habit!  Over the last few weeks we created a habit of seeing each other every day. Before all this really hit, we didn’t spend all that much time together because we were always running and creating life.  We created a new habit of spending almost every minute together.  Now, the first time away from her, is hard for me I guess. That said, and this is directly from her during our conversation today, we will be much better after the next 36 hours. And she is right.  Absence makes the heart grow stronger.

 As each day goes by, we will continue to make progress; progress unpacking, progress with our careers, progress with our businesses, training, being parents, growing, learning, being better, and progress toward fulfilling this mission……….and then, we will get comfortable in our routine, and find another mission to create, another dream to fulfill, another life to impact, another challenge to stretch ourselves.  There are moments, along those paths, that are not ideal and sometimes they suck.  For me, it is much easier to provide guidance and thought to others as they grow through it. It is much tougher for me to listen to and take in that same guidance.  

 Betting you didn’t think this entry was going to take this turn huh? Well, neither did I.  That is the great thing about this writing stuff, you just start typing and your mind begins to take over; never know where the end is going to lead us. Just like life, however, with life, we try to control so much of what is happening and what could happen.  This is where I failed the last few days. I have been trying to control the outcome rather than just living in the process, being grateful of the fact that everything that I’ve been working for the last few years is here and happening.  I lost my focus and my awareness of the journey these last few days and I got caught up in an outcome.  Robin, as she does many times, brought me back to being me and looking at things in a different perspective.  We all need that, and the reminder is appreciated!!!  

 We have come such a long way from almost two years ago that this all started, and we are really just beginning a new part of our journey.  Hell, our daughters are still back east enjoying their summer.  And, they are enjoying their summer.  They are being kids and we believe that is what they deserve at this time.  We know it will be a big sacrifice for them, leaving friendships they’ve built the last 11-years.  We are so proud of them on taking on this mission and being so mature in being, to a degree, on their own back in PA.  We want to thank so many families back east for helping in watching over, caring for, Ubering, and loving our girls during this time.  We are so grateful for everything you are doing for them and us while we making this happen.  For all those in AZ, that have been so instrumental in helping, we thank you for what you have done, and what you will be doing for us in the coming weeks. We’ve been blessed by so many that have put things on hold to help us realize this and we are forever grateful. At dinner in CO, this wise soul, Tara K., said something that really is continuing to surface in my mind; after we told her our story about the why in this mission, she said, “you put this out there as your dream and the Universe is conspiring to make it happen.”  As I reflect on this process to this point, how the last few days have gone, I can’t be anything but grateful because that is exactly what happen.  So many great, amazing, and wonderful people, and things have helped us build this and we are so, very fortunate to have you all.  So, thank you to all of you that have been there for us and will continue to be there for us.  We’ve been blessed by you in our lives and love you all very much.  

 They physical journey is complete.  We knew where those travels were going to take us. This next part, we have now idea where this road will lead and where we will go.  Candid, that scares the shit out of me a bit and, as I shared, I think that fear came out a bit over the last few days.  But, after some meditation, deep breathing, some time to think and reflect, it is an exciting time, it is a challenging time, certainly not ideal and, at times, very inconvenient, but that is where dreams take us and that is reality.  

 Whatever your ride may be, enjoy it, and be grateful. It is YOUR ride!!  Talk to you all real soon as my intent is to get the blog and podcast going soon.