#but GOD... THIS CONCEPT. so much horrors potential you know
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i've talked about this but i'm still kind of obsessed with the idea of peter either knowing or having a sense of Who Is Doomed By The Spider-Man Narrative bc of nwh and trying so hard to steer them away from that path in advance but it only ends up pushing them further towards it
#aware of the narrative but no matter how hard you try to change it they are still doomed RAHGHH...#and i don't just mean Death but like...he met some of spider-man's BIGGEST villains and i don't want to just?? Not give him#versions of those because of that...#give me peter working with his universe's otto octavius fully aware of the path he could slip down and trying so hard to stop it#only for things to STILL unfold probably in an even worse way#give me peter meeting his version of harry and the name osborn makes his heart SINK but that's exactly why he reaches out to him anyway#give me him meeting gwen and remembering how tasm peter talked about her death (which. i'm not in the business of#the fridging honestly but STILL. he's sure aware) and being extra vigilant so it stings all the more when he Misses something important#i know this probably isn't a plot the movies would explore for the sake of telling new stories which i understand#but GOD... THIS CONCEPT. so much horrors potential you know#🕸 ❝ i have nothing left… except spider man ❞ → ooc#anyway hi hello i'm gonna . get to dms i've missed oops and hopefully write somewhere??#trying so hard to not go get the stupid fucking spiderverse burger ngl LMAO
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personally i think it would be fun if michael got exposed to remnant pre scooping
#not saying i’m changing my main canon bc I’m Not but /any concepts to do with this makes me insane/#how? who knows! he can simply know things or it’s actually administered in some cursed circumstances-#would NOT like that. which is exactly why i wanna do it KSKDJD#that’s entirely dependent i just. why settle on one option for how he finds out about the horrors when there’s so much cursed potential in#all directions you know-#michael vc: god won’t let me die at freddy fazbears#⁂ ・゚: i was looking for a job‚ and then i found a job‚ and heaven knows i’m miserable now ➛ ooc
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Here's a thought involving SAHSRAU (you cannot escape this)
A Creator that's just like Yog-sothoth.
The idea that the Creator is everywhere, that the Creator is everything and everyone. That they know what has happened and what will happen, but won't do anything to stop these events whether good or bad.
I like to imagine that despite this, everyone loves them. I also really like the idea of the people of Amphoreus (the Heirs specifically) finding out about the Creator through the Trailblazer and Dan Heng and seeing them come to grips with reality that there is so much more to the universe than their world, that despite their struggle it is ultimately just a drop of water in an endless sea of chaos and strife.
Just the ideas of the Creator somehow becoming an Eldritch god, whether minor or major, in an AU like this, has so many good points of interest and plots that could be done!



This concept is deliciously terrifying and awe-inspiring at the same time.
A Creator like Yog-Sothoth—omniscient, omnipresent, but ultimately indifferent—is such a wild contrast to the usual perception of divine figures. They see everything, they know everything, and yet… they do nothing. Not because they can’t, but because they won’t. And somehow, everyone loves them anyway. That’s what really gets me. The sheer reverence, the devotion, the acceptance of something so incomprehensible—maybe even because they know they’ll never fully understand.
And then you throw the Heirs into the mix?? The idea of them realizing that their entire world, their entire struggle, is just a minuscule fragment in an infinite universe of chaos? That the gods they revere, the history they’ve fought for, the meaning they’ve built their lives around—it all pales in comparison to something so much bigger? Ohhh, the existentialism. The horror. The beauty of it.
And what really sells it is how much potential this has for different perspectives. Some would fear the Creator’s apathy. Some would find comfort in it. Others might be completely unbothered, because what else is there to do but keep moving forward? Maybe some even see it as a challenge—if the Creator won’t interfere, then they’ll force them to.
This kind of AU is ripe for so many insane plots. You could go cosmic horror, you could go philosophical, you could make it an introspective character study—hell, you could do all three at once. It’s perfect. I love it.

#x reader#honkai star rail#hsr#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#sahsrau#self aware au#self aware hsr#self aware honkai star rail#x you#x y/n#chrysos heirs#amphoreus
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DROP EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR BUTCHIE HEADCANONS!!!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🌩🌩🔥🌩🌩🌩🌩🌩
OMG since you asked so nicely...
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𝑩𝒖𝒕𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒇𝒐 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔 💀🧡
“𝑳𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒏' 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎, 𝑴𝒂𝒌𝒊𝒏 𝑮𝒊𝒓𝒍𝒔 𝑺𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎!”
Butchie ramblings! —–★–———————–
🧷Now to start with the first thing to come to mind, I think he'd some sort of unique voice. I think he'd have some sort of accent. Maybe a Californian accent or like something more rough. I was also thinking maybe a little southern?
🧷 I see butchie in so many ways honestly- so much character potential
🧷 I headcanon him to go to punk shows and be a total crowd killer. To add on to this, I think he's totally buff fat. I think he's a pretty fat/big guy and you could get knocked out by him
🧷he probably doesn't understand how heavy handed he actually is. I feel like he could tower anyone (like didn't you see how small he looked compared to Pete? I know he's small but goddamn butchie looks like a fucking tank)
🧷 I headcanon his real name to be Butch, and Butchie Mofo to just be a stage name more then anything.
-to add on to this, I think "Butchie" might have been a cute nickname he's been called by his family and friends and it kinda just stuck. No one calls him Butch
🧷random headcanon someone else made: Mandi and Butchie being siblings. Now this has NOTHING to do with this but I just remembered it and thought it was pretty funny and cute. Butchie and Mandi being siblings? Pretty funny concept
🧷 for a voice claim I was thinking maybe Chucky or Trent from Daria. But I do see him having a more tougher voice. DHHDHD GAH I honestly don't have a very clear image for butchie and his personality. I know he's supposed to be a dick, but he can be interpreted in so many ways. He can be a gatekeepy horror guy, a chill ass punk dude, whatever the fuck.
🧷 I think he's a little sunburnt on his shoulders and back
🧷 He likes pets! I think he'd have a fat bull dog or Rottweiler and he babies it but ofc loves showing it off to the office...
🧷 I think he secretly likes nu-metal but doesn't say because he doesn't wanna be called a poser (butchie lowkey looks like he'd be the singer for some stupid nu-metal band idk)
🧷 Yeah, he doesn't respect woman all that well but I think if he had a sister or a mom, he'd probably be the nicest to them. Still a total ass hole, but In a different type of way
🧷 oh god this is all over the place- I have so many headcanons for him but I just can't think of it rn
🧷 I think he's utterly loyal to his friends and would fuck up some guy in the pit for em (only certain friends)
🧷 I think he has a very good death metal growl that he practice's in the metal every morning
🧷 when he's bored/thinking he plays with his goatee or the strands of hair
🧷 he smells like leather, BO, Sweat, and shitty Cologne
🧷 if you were to hug him, he'd be really warm and sweaty
🧷 his hair is DEAD. super crunchy-
Anyways that's all I can say for now! But PLS DM ur headcanons anon...
Art by: @fukkajugg !!
#the eltingville club#welcome to eltingville#eltingville club#butchie mofo#evan dorkin#sick mofo productions#eltingville#pete dinunzio#butchie#bitch pit
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The sheer untapped angst of Jamil in the fyuuture au is haunting me so it's your problem now /hj. I'm trying so hard to be normal right now ugh take my thoughts please they need to get out of my skull so that I can articulate to others how much the fate of Jamil in the first timeline just haunts me. It's like a weeping angel I can't take my eyes off of it and the moment I do it just kills me to fathom the possibilities.
But god imagine being Jamil and you have someone who for the first time is solely on your side, no other reason than that they chose you because they like you and want to stand by your side. I imagine Jamil must have had reservations about potentially dragging yuu into the job of servitude but like hell that was gonna stop them. And then he's happy because he has an actual life outside of Kalim, they've matured over the years and Jamil has more freedom from him than he ever had. He once couldn't fathom condemning a child to share his last name but he is going to be a father and he's so excited.
Then it's just gone. Yuu isn't next to him when he wakes up one morning and the front door of the house is still open. It's a surprise he didn't wake up from the smell of the food burning in the kitchen but he can't think straight because something is so clearly horribly wrong. All of their things are where they left them, their phone is still on the kitchen counter and they didn't take their keys. Neither of them were working in the months leading up to the birth of the child, a gift from Kalim he hadn't refused. He's panicking and in his panic he does something he never would have fathomed himself doing, he reaches out to Kalim for a help.
By the time he gets a response it kills him. He will never know what happened to his spouse or child, Kalim will never get his message, the next time Kalim sees Jamil after the latter's baby shower and paternity leave, will be when his corpse is being dragged along by the sorcerer of the sands. It will ironically be, the last thing he sees.
There is a lot of tragedy in this ayuu, but with Jamil specifically it verges into horror in a way I didn't fully appreciate when I drafted it.
Jamil is essentially a feudal vassal who wishes for the freedom to be a normal member of society. He also, and this is so important to his character even though it often gets overlooked, wants his family to be respected. His parents, his sister, his first memory is them kneeling to a different set of parents and that kills him inside.
For you to come from a world where his situation is somewhat of a foreign concept and still choose him, choose to throw your support behind him because he is worth reforming the world for- it is everything to him. He got his happy ending through hard work and he deserves it, so why is it being taken from him? Why is Kalim's mess of a family taking from him again?
I don't think Jamil ever realizes it has nothing to do with him; the idea that he was collateral damage isn't really something that computes with how his life has been up until that point. The behavior of his phantom certainly doesn't help anyone realize that either, the way it hunts down the Al Asims and controls the people of his home you would assume that was all the corpse that birthed it wanted. That it would have been better off for everyone if there had been no baby shower planned, no paternity leave, no child to begin with. But that's not true. It was never about Jamil, he was just there and it was convenient to blame him for it.
Something that child will realize he has been doing too when he's forced to see just how happy his father really was, once upon a dream.
#<3 asks#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#future kid au#jamil viper x reader#you were right about cooking with this btw#it's real good *chef's kiss*
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Tormented Longing - Maximus Decimus Meridius x Empress!Reader
Gladiator (2000) Oneshot
Warnings: Reader is in love in a devoted, frankly delulu way ( not exactly like Commodus, but you will see.). This may not make sense with the movie, in the sense that it doesn't follow the events strictly, but I love drama lol. It's one of those " doesn't make much sense, but wanted to see it written. " scenarios @wildsaltair and I were talking about.
Summary: Fate grants you a reunion with the great love you believed lost when you consult the school of gladiators searching to buy protection from the schemes of the loathed husband it enforced on you.
Note: Somewhere I can't remember, because my browser is a mess of history entries, I read of someone who wanted to have gladiators as personal guard and that triggered in my mind this concept.
As it would be expected, your visit to the school of gladiators could potentially cause a scandall. Following the disorganised style of the ruling of your husband, you guessed one more excentricity could not make more harm. After all, he was shaking the values of Rome from their very own foundations. No one escaped him, and the need for appearances between you was running out.
As the wife that Marcus Aurelius had once chosen for him, Commodus accepted your marriage of convenience with the hope of pleasing him. Your wedding was the only moment in which he recalled any kindness from his father, his approbation of you feeling his by extention. ironically, the moment that ruined your life was the logical consecuence of the failure of one of his masterplans. Scheming against the lover of his sister, your friend, he digged his own grave when the crave to get him out of her way brought you closer to his.
He knew of your tormented love for Maximus and tried to encourage you of betraying Lucilla to keep him for yourself. That brief instant of temptation was paid with the highest price, some curse from the gods unleashed a chain of events punishing you equally with your enforced union. Not long into the marriage you found out that your sacrifice had been in vain, given neither you or the emperor's daughter got to keep the man you wanted. You also discovered with horror what kind of feelings pushed Commodus to that unfortunate alliance with you.
Depraved desires, not the logical concern of a brother.
In his sick mind, he believed to experience the same kind of longing you did, and the only reward of your marriage for him was dragging you down to share his misery. If he would never have Lucilla, you would never have Maximus. Promise that he accomplished to the cruelest extent as soon as he got rid of his father. Your noble general, faithfull as he was to the murdered emperor, refused an alliance with his killer and paid with his life.
Knowing that you would mourn him like a widow, Commodus taunted you with the news as soon as he got the chance. With the grudges of the past long forgotten, Lucilla was your only comfort. Touched by grief as you both were, she still managed to remind you of your priorities. With his brother in power having no more need to cather the opinions of their father, your life on itself could be in danger.
Of course, you still were a working facade for the most morally deplorable aspect on the disgusting side of him, but power could make him question your uses. You believed Commodus wouldn't be foolish enough to make of executing his wife one of his first commands of his rule in Rome, but that didn't mean you couldn't expect some unfortunate accident to happen.
What you needed was protection, and his praetorians weren't going to grant it. There was nothing the Senate could do for you, so you had to act on yourself. With the announcement of the games in honor of the deceased emperor, a demeaning joke made in private towards your husband that slipped from you as product of your ragefull grief for Maximus making you momentarily careless of death brought you the solution.
You told Commodus that watching the matches would show him a bit of what a real man was, as if you played to replace him with one of the gladiators, and that gave you the idea of buying your own commitive of protectors. Unusual, maybe, but desperate times needed of desperate meassures.
If you wouldn't be the Empress of Rome, Proximo would have laughed in your face when you explained yourself to him.
" Lady, this men aren't guards. They are entertainers. Doing business with your husband will make me rich, ... why would I risk that? "
" I'm only asking for a handfull of them and I'm not even demanding your best." You argued in return. " I need a protective escort that would answer to me, for safety measures. "
He was terminant to deny your excentricity.
" That is not of my concern. "
" Can I at least take a look at them? It's all I ask, for now. "
With reluctance, your wish was granted. Guided towards the cages you advanced in pridefull strunt and the slaves raised following your eyes. Only one remained in his place, careless or perhaps resentfull of your attention. For him you stopped, intrigued by his attitude and perhaps something more.
" That one is off limits, empress. " His owner warned you, noticing the sparkling interest he had awakened in you. " The Spaniard is the most expected novelty I have to offer. "
His words fell on deaf ears, marvelled as you were with the resemblance with your first and only lost love. An authentic ghost of the past haunting you. Could the gods have made two men so identical, or were they fooling you? Was that man like the phantom Helen made of cloud that some said had followed Paris to Troy while the real remained in hidding? Or had the men of Commodus killed a phantom?
" Forget our deal, I will give you whatever you ask for a moment to speak with him. "
The gladiator kept his cold demeanour, refusing to engage in eye contact with you, untill your almost broken whispers towards him forced the situation.
" ... A man I once knew was from Spain. He never knew, but he was the love of my life. "
Only then, he stopped staring angrily at the ground so he could show his face to you.
" Go back to your husband, Empress. "
The utterance of your rank felt as a spit of disdain landing in your face, but the surprise overcame everything. You were smiling with tearfull eyes, ready to jump over him as a wife that welcomes her brave husband home from war.
Maximus lived and fate had brought him back to you.
His attitude was understandable, even if it was a bit unfair to you. Not only you have played no part in the complot against him, you remained pointlessly faithfull to his memory like a pathetic lapdog. Lucilla had once married a good man that left her with a son after passing, but you were entrusted to a monster you could never love. You were still his in spirit, even if you accepted long ago he could never be for you.
" He doesn't command in my heart, he never will. "
In respect of your rank, the meeting was allowed in the most comfortable settling the place could grant you. By your specifical request, and ignoring the safety hazard that a very angry Maximus implied, you tried to keep him free from chains.
" Claiming my life is not a suitable vengeance, you would be doing his work for him." You warned him as soon as you were allowed enough privacy. " He doesn't have the slightest care for me, I am only the facade of his sinister desires, but if it would please your rage I would gladly give my life for you. "
You exposed your neck, awaiting for some imaginary sword to slit your throat or his hand to squeeze your air out, but the confusion that your willingness to die upon him produced him was enough to make him desist of anything.
" How can you say such things so lightly, when so much between us has changed? You are not that sweet friend of Lucilla giving me lovely glances full of sorrow before I would follow her. My wife and son were tortured and murdered by command of your husband! "
His recriminations hurted you, but how could he had he reacted otherwise? He had no idea of what happened with you after life separated you.
" Can't you see it? Time stopped for me the day I married Commodus without facing your rejection for respect to my friend. The one thing we have in common is obsessive devotion, only never for each other ... I never stopped loving you, I would do anything in my power to make your suffering stop. I can't give back what he took from you, just as no one can return me the youthfull years of misery standing him, but before rushing into conclussions there is something you need to know. "
Falling on your knees before him, you exposed yourself completely in a heartfelt speech.
" You are my sun, the happy corner where my thoughts go hidding from the horrors of my life. Commodus lives frustrated on the impossibility to fullfill his horrendous wants, but all this time I had the comfort of knowing my love is pure. If i daydreamed of being your wife, I never wished any wrongs for the woman you have once chosen. "
The raw honesty left him with very little space for doubts. Fragility you have saved for years was tenderly left on sight for him to judge if your feelings for him were real.
Little did it matter to him at the moment, but that didn't mean it didn't give him new thoughts and couldn't yet inspire him any pitty.
" What am I supposed to say? Do you expect me to be myself or perform for your delusion now that I have no other choice? "
Having your ways get mistaken with Commodus' offended you, but you endured it.
" I want you to understand that all I ever wanted was your happiness. Nothing more, and nothing else. I want you to stop seeing me as your enemy, but can't find a proof of my sincere devotion to satisfy you. If of something I can be blamed, is of loving you more desperately than Lucilla ever did. She survived without you, but I made you a part of me. "
The part of him that felt your sorrow finally won. Lifting your chin delicately with a caress of his thumb, he granted you a first calm approach making you stare into his eyes.
" Keep this meeting as a secret and your loyalty will be proven. I need nothing else of you. "
It made you smile, hopefull to the small victory.
" That was already granted, my love. Nothing greater would you ask from me? If your presence in the arena wouldn't be so required due to the excellent fame you adquired, I would be already trying to buy you in order to find some way to release you. "
The extreme measure to save his honor was a considerable risk that would end bad for you, so a question wandering his mind came out of him without second thoughts.
" Is there anything you wouldn't do for me? "
The mockfull callout made you raise up, regaining only glimpses of your dignity.
" Do you want to escape? I would gladly run away with you. Do you want the head of Commodus, detached from his body? I have no idea of how that could happen, but I will find the way of getting it for you. I don't even need you to love me back, only to let me fill you with the affection I have kept for so long reserved for you."
He remained strictly indiferent to your provocations, but you left him few space for choice. Your hands were cuping his cheeks when you dragged him close enough to barely sense your lips against his. He kept his mouth closed, forbbiding you entrance for a full mouth kiss, but after three carefull pecks he realized you were about to cover his face with those short kisses and stopped you inmediately.
" What do you want us to be? The legendary tale of the gladiator that turned an empress into a slave? "
You wouldn't admit it, but you liked the implied epicity in his reprobatory replication.
" I endure Commodus the same way his father did: ignoring him and pretending you are mine. He wanted you for a son and I want you for a husband. Indulge me as you did for your emperor. "
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We know about your thoughts and opinions on Lolth, Vhaeraun, and Eilistraee, but what about the rest of the Dark Seldarine? Or Corellon themself?
: D
So. Starting with the Dark Seldarine in order of importance, then doing Corellon.
I don't have a lot of thought's on Kiaransalee and Malyk. I think Zinzerena is interesting conceptually, but needs just a little more going on to flesh her out further. I think she has potential. But she's firmly in the "Has Potential" category.
So. I have thoughts on Ghaunadaur, but my thoughts on Ghaunadaur have less to do with him as a character with a personality and more to do with him as a concept? Because I'm under the impression based on what they give us about Ghaunadaur that he's a force of nature more than he is a person.
Like, with a lot of DnD gods, they feel more like people with personalities and motivations and histories and desires. And I do think Ghaunadaur has that but he more than any DnD god I've read feels like if you gave a storm a personality. His personality is secondary to his what he is. If you're familiar with this series, he reminds me of the way entities in The Magnus Archives are portrayed? If you're not familiar, the horror of his existence to me is that He Is Rot. He doesn't have the element of Rot, he IS rot.
That said. What of his character exists is funny. Him leaving the Dark Seldarine because he was sick of Lolth is funny as fuck. I'm going to include his church and his worshipers in at least one thing I write publically, because he's so icky and gross and that is said with little hearts around my head.
==
Keptolo down here even though he's shorter, because of the emphasis put on the fact he might not be part of the Toril pantheon (It's not something I have a lot of dedication to pushing, but I think he maybe should be? If only because:)
He is interesting to me because, like Ghaunadaur, I don't have much thoughts in the way of who he is as a person, but I do think that his existence... makes sense? Like on a function and world building level. Like. Yeah, of course Lolth has an obedient man whore with his whorelette worshipers. When you look at real world ancient pantheons, gods are reflections of the state of society, they exist to explain why things are the way they are.
I'll probably include him in my writings once I've got him figured out a little more, because he makes sense.
===
As a secondary note, we're going on a mini tangent here, we're side tracking my stock standard discussion point. I have nowhere else to put this complaint and I'm sure other Vhaeraun fan's have expressed annoyance about this in the past, but I'm still unsure why DnD tried to change him to be on Lolth's side. For the sake of reference I'll put what I'm talking about here.
His church fully recovered as one when the Second Sundering was over. Lolth gave him a divine realm in the Demonweb Pits. Furthermore, praying to Vhaeraun in order to improve one's lot in life became an acceptable practice in main stream Lolthite drow society. Something that was formerly a clear violation of the Way of Lolth. Vhaeraun and Eilistraee were separate entities again, both holding their portfolios and titles of old, as well as their enmity. "The wizard Mordenkainen claimed that, after the Second Sundering, Vhaeraun had dramatically steered away from his previous stance of rebellion against Lolth's system, and instead assumed a position of subservience to the Spider Queen, even coming to embody the ideal of drow male according to the Lolthite matriarchy: "swift, silent, obedient". According to Mordenkainen, Vhaeraun's faith even became tolerable in Lolth-controlled cities.
I know given the group I've attracted I'm talking to my little peanut gallery, but I... want to know why? What's the logic and reasoning here. Keptolo and, to a lesser degree Selvetarm (We'll get to him) Already represent The Ideal Drow Male, in Lolth's image. Is it because he was marked as evil? Why not just CHANGE his ALIGNMENT. The whole point of his presence within the story is being one of Lolths primary antagonists, and existing in balance to Eilistraee. DND I'm going to fucking Get You. This was a bad choice. We're ignoring that choice around these parts.
==
Now. Selvetarm
Despite the fact that I make fun of him in my gag comics, of all the Dark Seldarine I don't speak about, he's the one I feel strongest about? I think he's more of a tragedy then DnD generally gives him credit for being. Like. I have actual character thoughts on him and his existence, what he says about the themes of drow pantheon, and elf pantheon at large
(Which is, if you ask me, at it's core a story about generational trauma and familial abuse, and the way people who are abused will echo that abuse whether they mean to or not. I think Vhaeraun is clearly meant to be the deity version of a neglectful and emotionally distant father, which is in itself a reflection of the fact that Corellon did that to him.)
Now. The long and short of my thoughts on Selvetarm is. Literally did nothing 👏 wrong 👏 in 👏 his 👏 life, nothing that happened to him was his fault 👏👏👏👏👏👏. He is an encapsulation of the way Lolth will destroy peoples lives with her manipulations, and the a further reflection of the way that drow are, if separated from the trauma of the society they're forced to be raised in, fine as people. He was fine until Lolth Did That (Which is the story of the drow.)
Which is all to say: Vhaeraun please try fixing your son instead of trying to fight him you dense deadbeat moron the only reason he sided with your mother is because she fundamentally changed who he was as a person by putting A DEMON in him and I know you see someone siding with Lolth and/or Eilistraee and lose all concept of nuance and empathy but she PUT A DEMON IN HIM of course he doesn't want to be fixed she DROVE HIM TO MADNESS.
Better yet. Just give Eilistraee full custody.
Even if your dad doesn't.
(Which - To be clear. This all Authorial Personal Feelings on the characters. The thing with the drow pantheon is that I think they're such a compelling tragedy specifically because these things don't get fixed and Lolth continues to have power she does. If she loses, the story ends. And I think there could be a world where that is the case. But that would is not the main canon.)
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Corellon..... Diversity win! This enby is a bad dad!💗
Okay. Less jokingly. Honest thoughts.
Again I need to start by saying. I think from a character with a personality, I think they're a good character and a GREAT dnd deity. ✋ I'm still going to talk though.
One of the things that strikes me reading through elf history and the way drow were treated that got them to be where they are now... Corellon and the rest of the Seldarine kicking an entire group of elves because their goddess, the one you gave them to as her domain, lied to them about you, was a weird choice. You doomed ALL Ilythiir because of your evil ex wife and your explicitly mentioned least favorite child? It feels like a lot of the way Drow (And Vhaeraun to a lesser extent) are talked about, there's this presumption (in universe) that they were always going to turn out evil, right? Like, that it was only a matter of time before they came to the dark side. Or that because they were able to be manipulated by an outside force, they are evil. When in reality, so much of the way they behave and function was in response to the way they were treated by other elves. People aren't Evil because they fall for cults. The only true evil in this story is Lolth.
I sincerely think Gold/Sun Elves hold the EXACT same flaws as drow, with the only difference being... they aren't drow, and so weren't targeted for this.
And it really comes across as winners writing history, rather than an actual account things that happened in the past. And I know part of that is DND being a fantasy game written in the 80's-90's and having the nuance of that era, but I know revisionist history when I see it. And I'M interested in playing that straight.
Am I making sense? I say all of this in Corellon's section, because that situation does make them something of a flawed god to me. Flawed (In universe as a person, not Flawed "There's something wrong with this characters writing) Like. Yeah. Lolth tried to kill you. Lolth did that. (And Vhaeraun, like we can't ignore that he did get convinced into murder by his mom but I forgive him. I think he's realized he fucked up ages ago.) Like my guy. You have a demigod in your pantheon who's whole purpose is Hating and Killing Drow. Your favorite daughter and her favored included in this (Even if he "tempers himself for her")
And again, I think this is all genuinely good world building. It makes sense in the context of the setting, and is a reflection of things I think actually happen in the real world.
Anyway. Have this picture I drew of Vhaeraun and Enclave encountering Corellon in the wild while I was at work that was never meant to see the light of day.
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A lot of terrible ideas have a nugget of a good idea in them. Of the terrible books you've read, which one stands out as the most, "if someone less insane and better at writing got a hold of this idea, it could be quite good"?
There's few books I've covered which I don't think this about! The more bombastic failures often are the ones I see more potential, as opposed to more commonplace sucking (we can't improve hush hush. let's just leave it)
REAPER'S CREEK! It haunts me how much potential there is to explore what the book almost does: what if you were 12, abused, and learned you could rewrite all of existence to be anything you wanted? That's the premise of the book, and it serves as a clear power fantasy for the author I'm not sure he ever separated himself from. The odd choices later made by the god-kid protagonist reflect the fact he Can't grow up- there's absolute horror there. He can have everything he wants, forever: how is he meant to grow or mature? He accidentally removes his mother's eyes and makes her love him anyway. He maybe forces a girl he has a crush on to love him. He removes his best friend's free will. The book (unfortunately) deserves more credit than I think it gets for engaging with these themes at all, but it does it so badly when it could be really good. Child abuse as a cudgel which traps someone perpetually in childhood even when it becomes detrimental to them becoming an adult
PERFECTED! A book about human pets is a really good idea and that's why it has existed before and will again. There's so many angles to explore this, whether it be the personhood of the inhuman or the dehumanization of the oppressed. The culture and history of how this becomes normalized could be fascinating social commentary. You could let Missy live. This one you'd need to scrap like, the entire plot and most of the concept, but you could still stick to the 'wealthy luxury humanoid pets for the mega-elite raised to know no other life' basis.
TENDER IS THE FLESH This is my most controversial review and look, I wish I'd gone into more detail too, but I still don't like the book. But it's obviously a great concept, like Perfected, about a world where eating human flesh has become normalized. Tender just really failed to execute the deeper themes of capitalism and dehumanization in my opinion but the concept is very solid. This is why it's a concept that exists in many other pieces of media. We love cannibalism.
THE COMMAND MENT! Okay, again we would be doing such radical change it wouldn't be the same thing, but the idea of 'we proved god is real so we invented a vaccine to keep his influence out of our brains' is really really funny and could be interesting. This could probably happen in FL.
FALLEN! The rare 'very generic para-ro' entry, but Fallen actually has potential it nearly explores about reincarnation horror. I've been really into the idea of a para-ro twist based on Fallen, where someone learns they're the reincarnated true love of an angel, destined to meet and be together... but then realizes (as she does in the book!) every time the angel meets her, he causes her death, usually at age 16. Suddenly his pledges to be together, the fact he remembers when she doesn't, becomes sinister. he loves her so much he can't stop killing her.
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Dracula Season Watch Party: Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)
The centuries old vampire Count Dracula comes to England to seduce his barrister Jonathan Harker's fiancée Mina Murray and inflict havoc in the foreign land. - Dir. Francis Ford Coppola
I haaaaaaaaaaaaated this the one and only other time I watched it because, for a movie calling itself Bram Stoker's Dracula, it sucks ass at adapting the novel. It hits all the beats but misses the themes and adds extra stuff, and Jonathan doesn't even go after the Count with a shovel, ffs. However, it is technically one of The Most Faithful adaptations we have to date, which is impressive considering how much story there is to adapt. And if I stop being such a purist turd.... *sigh* it's a good movie.
Like..... REALLY good. The costumes, the colors, the music, the camera work, everything has such a surreal vibe, and the scene transitions move with something like dream logic. Actually, I think "movement" sums up everything I loved. Shots moving around a scene, SO MUCH gauzy fabric moving in a breeze, Dracula and Mina moving through a crowd. It's ✨pretty✨
It's also horny AF. Jesus Christ.
That being said, I think the criticism I've seen saying this version turns Lucy into a slut is pretty unfair. She and Mina gossip about their relationships (and kiss in the rain, by god I ship it), and she's flirtatious with the suitor squad, big deal. She's never overtly sexual until she starts becoming a vampire, and that's nothing that doesn't already happen in the book. The two scenarios don't compare. One is established friendships that come equipped with camaraderie and intimacy, the other is a corruption. Like, that's literally what's happening, and that's where the horror comes from. As for this version's take on her sleepwalking, we are NOT calling that slut behavior. That's all I'm saying.
Speaking of the suitor squad (Lucy's potential fiances, for the uninitiated), I understand there is only so much you can squeeze into a two hour run time, but I wish they had more time to shine. I need more of Quincey being a manly man with the most golden heart of gold ever. I need more of Jack being the most lovesick and emo wreck of a human with a side of medical malpractice. Most importantly, I need Cary effing Elwes to have more to do as Art. Not that any one of Lucy's boyfriends loves her more than the others, but I feel like Art's devotion to her is given more weight because he was the one Lucy chose to marry, and ASDFGHJKL. You can't cast CARY ELWES, aka WESTLEY THE FARM BOY, of Thee Greatest Movie Ever Made The Princess Bride, and then NOT give him any room to work in that space. He could have eaten that shit up! You know it! I know it! The only people who apparently don't know it are the people who called the shots on everything from the script to the casting, because if we had spent more time with canon couple Art and Lucy and less with fanon couple Drac and Mina, WE COULD HAVE HAD IT ALL. *insert Adele gif because I couldn't actually find one*
While we're on the subject of Dracula and Mina as lovers doomed across centuries, YES, it's fucking romantic as shit and I've come across the concept in other stories and would have snorted that shit if possible, BUT. The addition here detracted from time we could have spent on Lucy, as mentioned above, and despite what I've said about that so far, I understand why you'd make that call. If there's going to be an epic Gothic romance, it might as well be the focal point of the story and therefore needs to happen between the leads. But.
BUT.
THAT'S ALREADY IN THE SOURCE MATERIAL. IT'S MINA AND JONATHAN!!!!! Jonathan Harker is peak Gothic wifeguy. Dude never stops thinking about how awesome his wife is and how much he loves her, and I can't even think about his refusal to let her be condemned to hell alone and his determination to damn himself with her if she became a vampire without getting in fits about it. He said "fuck God if he doesn't love Mina, he's not good enough for her and I love her enough for both of us," and you think ANY other love story can beat THAT??? They did my good friend Jonathan so so dirty.
On the subject of my good friend Jonathan, I know I'm not the only one who thinks Keanu Reeves would look so. Fucking. HOT. With gray hair. I don't know what they did to him in the back half of this movie, but rather than be disappointed in how fake it looks, I'm choosing to look forward to the day we finally get Silver Fox Keanu.
Other details I loved now that I'm done complaining include Mina's wardrobe echoing Elizabeta's gown in the prologue, red light reflecting off Renfield's glasses when he's talking about his master, red appearing more prominently in Mina's and Lucy's wardrobe as they fall under Dracula's influence, the zoom-in on the bite marks on Lucy's neck transitioning into the wolf's glowing eyes in the next scene, Dracula's shadow moving independently of his body, everything Anthony Hopkins is doing as Van Helsing, and the entire standoff between him and Mina and the brides.
I think I've said all I feel like saying, and it took a full 24 hours to stop talking, so in summary: I DO like this more than I used to, but I like it more when looking at it on its own merit and not as an adaptation. What I like, I really like. What I don't like, pretty much has to do with how it differs from the book. The most important part is that I had fun watching. Even if there aren't any flappy bats on a string.🥂
#dracula season watch party#dracula#dracula 1992#bram stoker's dracula#vampires#jonathan harker#mina murray#lucy westenra
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Hey so there’s this character who’s kinda like Blue Beetle, he’s called Max Steel and he had a show in like 2013? Frankly, he’s kinda a rip-off blue beetle, but I like him. The difference is that Steel (Khaji Da analogue) can pop off the suit (that is made of Steel’s body) for 8 hours if necessary, and is a snarky MOFO. Steel is an Ultralink, and they find hosts and weaponize them for their boss Makino. The difference is that Ultralinks are kinda cannon fodder, and not very powerful. (Steel is an exception bc Max is seriously weaponizable). The thing is that Ultralinks can’t link to another Ultralink, so Max Steel (their hero name) can’t be ultralinked, because they are already Linked.
So anyway. Imagine the horror of an ultralink invasion, and nobody knows max has a ride along partner named Steel, but everyone wants him around because even tho he talks to himself, the ‘links won’t touch him. The horror of being immune because you’re already infected, and if anyone knew they would hate you)
YES YES I FUCKING LOVED MAX STEEL AS A KID!! The movie was. Eh. But the effects looked so fucking cool I am absolutely in LOVE with the concept art. MOSTLY THIS COLLECTION!! LOOK AT IT!! ITS SO FUCKING COOL!!!!
God I love that idea. They deserve to be weirder on god frfr. Make them VERY OBVIOUSLY NOT HUMAN!!!! I mean the suit is already on Max permanently which is COOL but COME ON WE CAN GET WEIRDER!!!!!!!!! I love the power flare ups that mess with electricity so much. Come one make him a fucking cryptid come ON.
Permanently glowing eyes that become so very apparent in the flickering lights. Sometimes he moves erratically, like he's being pulled around on strings instead of actually moving himself. He talks to himself which is weird enough but sometimes if you pay close attention you can almost hear another voice that doesen't really sound like a voice. More like electricity humming through the air in bursts that are so so close to words but not quite.
God Max Steel has so much potential to be so so fucking weird dude.
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Tullius has so much wasted potential. As much as i absolutely adore Michael Hogan's voice, i wish Bethesda didn't hire a celebrity voice actor so we could have more Tullius content. He hasn't had a single update to him since Special edition (and even then i'm not sure if the lines they added were just unfinished voicelines or completely new ones)
The writers also seem to constantly be unable to decide if he should be a metaphor for the empire - a tired, old man with a heart of gold but far too much horrors seen to keep going, or a genuine person like Ulfric is (he hates speeches, despises the Thalmor, he comes to like Skyrim and appreciate it's harshness). So we get this amalgamation of symbolism and genuine character that doesn't seem go to anywhere
Especially after playing Oblivion, i wish his personality and views were explored more. He's like the first imperial General we see alive and in the flesh. There are only mentions of them in Oblivion (not sure about the other games). So seeing a man of his importance should be this monumental thing and it isn't
What are his views on the Talos ban? Talos, who is the literal founder of the Empire. Talos, who has a whole section of the Imperial City named after him. Talos, whose presence in Cyrodiil is even more prominent than in Skyrim. He's not just a God to imperials, he's the reason everything they know exists at all. What are his views on the Dragonborn? Where was he born? Is he Colovian or Nibenese? What made him a General? We get bits and pieces of his story and yet they never add up fully in the way Ulfric's backstory does
It makes me so sad that such an incredible concept for a character is completely omitted and reduced to fractions of what could have been. I wish his morality was explored more. I wish we had actual debates about his actions the way the game debates Ulfric. Hell, he didn't even get his own card in the Tarot set. Instead of him there's fucking ARVAK. As much as i love that good horse, goddamit the Chariot literally symbolises war, rebellion, leadership. COME ON
I am very frustrated by the lack of respect for this man. Tullius come here i will make up a backstory for you myself
#literally so mad#tullius my beloved#tullius i love you#general tullius#skyrim#trangenderstan ramble series#tes
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Nice to see that apparently we’ve all read it runs in the family. It was my guilty pleasure fic and i didn’t expect to see other people talking about it. I started reading it like a month after i got into bad and dsmp and i was /obsessed/. It’s one of those fics that changes your brain chemistry and makes you stare at a wall after reading it. To this day im still subbed to it on the off chance that it gets another chapter.
like genuinely its an enamoring fic it has an odd premise but like the author has so much potential in, like, being able to write genuinely engaging narratives. i'm shocked at how much setup is put into the work and you can tell where the narrative is going in a way that's like watching a trainwreck. You know exactly where it is going but the journey of getting there is so fascinating to watch.
anyway i want to ramble about what i liked and what i didn't like in the fic. so. huge reader discretion advised, go look at the other warnings i posted about this fic before reading this (also spoilers for the fic ahead)
like part of its most interesting facets is it is one of the few fics that tackles this sort of heavy subject matter of assault and kidnapping and doesn't really shy away from how genuinely negative it is and can be. like don't get me wrong ive enjoyed other psychological horror before, but it was, like, nice? to see the "pets" all be like genuinely upset and respond realistically to the situation they're in. no "they really like it secretly" undertone.
not a criticism but my favorite part of this story is the random ass normal human names they try to give everyone. they made skeppy have a white ass last name. bbh's name is Bad Halo. purpled doesn't even show up but his name is mentioned to be, like, "nolan purpled but he goes by purpled because his cheating whore of a mom named him nolan and he hates her" genuinely funniest line of the whole fic one of my favorites i can never ever forget it. i need to find all the human names in this theyre so fucking funny.
also badboyhalo? while he IS woobified and made much more demure and defanged, he's still like... that IS badboyhalo. his moments of complete suspicion at every encounter. his doubting. refusal to break the mould and rock the boat out if fear something bad would happen. VERY badboyhalo sentiments. also the fact the writer knew about skephalo divorce. going to be honest, looking at how their other work contains a6d, i think the writer was/is a bbh watcher. and then the schlatthalo. the fact they made schlatt ask to curse? and then bbh laughed when he did? this person understood both of these guys. they did their homework. schlatt isn't a megalomaniac evil villain one note. i don't know if i'd call both of them "in character" per say, but i can definitely say they had consistent characterization and i could understand how their characters got to these versions.
also the technohalo multifaceted concept? techno seeing bbh as too innocent? putting bbh on a pedestal and denying his humanity in that way? WILD. the setup and writing was all there for, like, bbh using his body and manipulating techno to turn against phil.
like the good parts of this fic are such crazy highs and peaks it makes the lows look so much worse.
speaking of which: wilbur soot.
by god is wilbur soot not a character, he is a force of nature and just continuous digging deeper on trying to fix a problem the writer accidentally started. none of sbi really are fleshed out or rounded characters, but wilbur soot is like by far getting the worst treatment. im not even a wilbur fan LOL.
he's supposed to be a schizophrenic serial killer which already isn't a great start, and then you watch the writer realize the issue and try to fix what they've started. this is when schizophrenic medicated slimecicle comes in. followed by badboyhalo looking at the camera and going Not All Mentally Ill People Are Bad. which was just really funny in such a morbid way. but then the writer DOES go in an interesting direction with phil denying his condition and refusing to help him get medicated. however with the slimecicle medicated moment it comes off as a medication = The Good Mentally Ill Person narrative. genuinely i dont know how id solve the wilbur issue without extensive rewriting. he's just a mess.
phil i think is one of the most interesting of sbi, being made into a central antagonist and a genuinely good villain. his scenes have well made tension and poses actual threat and stakes to the narrative. he's a good villain! techno has an interesting arc with bbh but just isn't given enough screentime and doesn't have much beyond "brute to be manipulated" which sucks a little. tommy is tommy. only one of sbi i could see not dying in a fire at the end. wilbur, despite his other issues is a narrative driver with his capriciousness, but the schizophrenia plotline is such a mess that he just is not a person here, he's a plot device more than anything.
more abstractly i do wish they committed and, like, had sex scenes or were blatant about sex happening. like they keep dancing around it but so much of the fic does not make sense if sex isn't what's occurring here. like i get subtlety if the avoidance of sex is what they're aiming for! but its okay to, like, maybe make it more clear whatever techno and bbh have going on is obviously sexual, because that can be used to advance the narrative and make it more clear bbh is using his body to manipulate here, because that'd be a good plot point to continue the themes and motifs of the story. i also just do not know how else to interpret the relationship lol.
my other biggest criticism is make it less misogynistic. the only three named women are the dead samsung smart fridge (who is now a dead mom named samantha), minx the alcoholic witness, and puffy, who is somehow ranboo's mom. like the ableism is horrific here but its so over the top stupid in the ableism, while the misogyny is subtle and just reeks. genuinely why is puffy ranboo's mom that sucks so fucking bad. make her be his aunt or guardian or something. but mom? c'mon.
i rambled way too long lol there's more i can say but this fic is my roman empire. the writer has so much potential but just needs more life experience to understand mental illness and misogyny. also a beta reader to fix their formatting. and maybe make their dialogue more human. shoutout to ranboo giving his name and phone number to tommy after tommy literally fucking tells him he'd "make a beautiful corpse" CRAZY exchange. no human would do that.
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Please tell me about prophecy and the seventh sign and any other movies/media that explores the dynamics you're talking about I wanna hear!!
WALL OF TEXT!
For anyone reading this who doesn't know what this is about, I am recommending movies with religious themes that are not like... NICE religious. These are more along the lines of "Angels do not have free will and exist to do God's bidding - God's will frequently involves horrible, horrible things. Source: the Bible." My mother, who was raised to be devoutly Protestant and is now a devout atheist with religious trauma, loves movies like this. She calls them "nasty angel movies" but in general she likes things with religious themes that aren't preachy - and in fact might be the opposite. She likes media with the premise that God (of abrahamic faiths, particularly christianity) is real, but not benevolent. i'm struggling to define this genre because it's late lol
so, The Prophecy (1995)! fucking great movie. it's told mostly from the perspective of a detective who was previously training to be a catholic priest but lost his faith because of horrible visions. Christopher Walken portrays the angel Gabriel who has come to claim an extremely evil soul as a weapon for a second war in heaven. he is NOT a nice angel. i THINK the angels are upset that God has focused all His energy on humanity? but i may be misremembering. anyway this evilest soul ever has been placed temporarily in the body of a little native american girl who immediately becomes ill and is looked after by her teacher mostly, and Gabriel is looking for it and he's the villain of the movie, basically. it does have potentially uh,, slightly 90s ideas of Native American spirituality? possibly problematic/stereotyping? but i'm british and know almost nothing about native americans so i can't tell you if it's egregiously bad, or if its just a bit cringe. but the movie itself is really really good imo. also, Viggo Mortensen as Lucifer. Can't really go into that too much without spoilers, but he's INCREDIBLE. He makes the entire film.
I personally loved it because Gabriel is the angel who told Mary she would be giving birth to the son of God, right? most children raised in Western Christian nations are familiar with the Nativity and angel Gabriel above all others. But he's not a nice guy here - he's a servant of God, and he's mad about it. He uses humans as tools, kills, he's horrible lol. Interestingly, wikipedia seems to suggest that most people thought it was bad but it's gone on to become a cult film? idk i think its great.
Seventh Sign (1988) I didn't enjoy as much (personal opinion, my mum loves it) but the concept is really good. Basically, signs of the biblical apocalypse are happening and mostly being explained away, but they're happening. Leans a little bit into Hebrew theology too. A woman (demi moore) is pregnant with a baby, but there were a limited amount of souls in heaven, and now the first baby without a soul is soon to be born, and it's hers.
My mother also recommends Devil's Advocate (1997) which I've not seen myself but the main actors are Keanu Reeves and Al Pacino so I reckon it must be good lol. From the wikipedia it seems to be more of a horror, so if you have triggers I'd search on "does the dog die" (i've heard it's good for spoiler free trigger warnings) but according to wikipedia: "Based on Andrew Neiderman's 1990 novel of the same name, it is about a gifted young Florida lawyer invited to work for a major New York City law firm. As his wife becomes haunted by frightening visions, the lawyer slowly realizes the firm's owner, John Milton, is in fact, the Devil."
She also likes Constantine and Legion but i've not seen either nor talked to her about them so can't say anything about those lol
also this is a series and not a movie but I NEED you to watch Midnight Mass. it's by the same director who did The Fall of the House of Usher and the Haunting of Hill House and it's just absolutely incredible. It's a single series and it's about a village of like, a hundred or so people that's dying because small village. it's quite a religious town, the centre of the community is the catholic church, and the aging and senile priest has gone on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem. He doesn't return, and instead, a younger, unknown priest returns with new enigmatic sermons and then he performs actual miracles - he heals a girl in a wheelchair, for example. I don't want to spoil this but weird shit starts happening and it's a horror series again. My mum particularly liked (hated) a character called Bev Keane, she said she reminded her of her mother. The most miserable, awful, religious zealot, who never actually says anything cruel - she hides her awfulness behind scripture and religious quotes and is impossible to argue with or accuse of anything because she serves god! she's awful in such a hard to define way. Honestly the whole series is fantastic, and it's so well done. its one of those series where its impossible to make a sequel because its done perfectly. can you tell i liked this one
Also i think everyone on tumblr knows this one, but Good Omens. Obviously not a horror show like the others, and the "bad angels who are meant to only do god's will" thing is taken much more lightly here, but still worthy of inclusion imo. The book and the series are different, but not hugely. Humorous take on the apocalypse, and a demon and an angel who've been watching over earth for 6000 years and have decided actually, they like earth, and they dont want it to explode because heaven and hell are actually full of pricks and they dont want to deal with them, theyre too busy enjoying earth. so they decide to stop the apocalypse. they're not very good and it all goes a bit wrong a few times.
Final "religious themes" rec is Small Gods by Terry Pratchett, who also cowrote good omens and it's not actually about christian religion or angels but I think it's worth a mention because it's about a young monk called Brutha who is training in the city of Omnia, a religious city state on the Discworld that is devoted solely to the worship of the Great God Om. The church of Om run the entire city and everyone is a believer, the church is ultimately powerful, and everyone lives in fear of upsetting the church. And then the Great God Om is dropped from the sky from the talons of an eagle, and lands in a garden in the main church citadel - because he's a tortoise. He's been stuck in the form of a tortoise for years because he has no power anymore, because in Pratchett's discworld, there are many many gods and they only have power if someone believes in them. Om has just one believer - Brutha. Brutha is the only person in the ENTIRE CITY who actually believes in the god they claim to worship - the rest just believe in the system, in the religion and in oppression, because that's very real. Brutha knows more about Omnian religion than Om does, because to say Om was an absentee god is putting it mildly. it was the first discworld book i read and it's what got me into the series, it's absolutely great. Also really, really funny as well as reorients your worldview a bit. Pratchett is good at that
okay i need to stop, I have work in the morning, but hopefully this enormous wall of text wasn't too much for you!
#religious themes#ask#religious trauma#the prophecy#the prophecy 1995#the seventh sign 1988#good omens#small gods#midnight mass#movie recs#film recs#movie recommendation#movies
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Can I ask what it is that bought you into the books? When did you first read them and why they’ve stuck with you for so long? ♥️
oh god, I'll try to make this as succinct as possible because it has the potential to be long and rambly ;; lol
my parents named me after kirsten dunst in iwtv (long, tom cruise-centered story behind that) and I knew this most of my life. I thought it was so cool that I was named after a 'vampire' and finally at age 15 I decided it was time to read the book my name (kind of) came from. I didn't know anything about iwtv, but I had looked up a movie trailer for it and was a little put off by all the blood - yes, I know/knew they were vampires - but ! I decided to persist. I got my hands on a shitty 1990s copy of iwtv, got it just in time for october, went to a park by my house to read it for a bit, and ended up sitting there for 6 hours and read the whole thing in one go.
I was so obsessed. did I understand it all? no. but I had loved it.
got my hands on a copy of tvl, started reading it, hated it, put it down with no intention of reading it anymore. had an older friend from a fandom I was in at the time learn about me reading AR and she was like, 'Kirsten, you have to keep reading tvl. just read until the wolves' so a couple months later - now 16 years old - I reread iwtv and then finally read tvl. and I loved it. of course. read QotD soon after and then stopped reading the series, and I think ?? looking back at it, I quit because there were too many characters in QotD that I didn't care about and I didn't want to keep reading lol but I have reread iwtv at least once every single year since I read it at age 15.
in 2018, when I had just graduated undergrad, anne announced on her facebook page that 'blood communion' was coming out in october. I decided then and there that I wanted to read it so I had to read the whole series. over the span of 3 months, I read the entire vampire chronicles in anticipation for 'blood communion' and was ready for it come october
after reading the whole series, I've read them all at least once more, most of them a couple of times more, and ??? I have a lot of complex feelings on the series tbh (especially after getting older and continuing my literary degrees and, to be hoenst, with the show's existence) but I think a huge reason they have resonated with me, a huge reason I was so looking forward - for YEARS - to a television show of this series, and to have a show that exceeds all expectations mean so much to me, is because of grief, perseverance, and love.
I know the book iwtv gets a lot of flak and I won't ever say that it's undeserved because. well, I've read it. I get it. but one thing about the novel iwtv that is so important to me, one thing that makes it my favorite of the whole series, is that it is so raw in its sadness, in its grief; the feelings of that novel can never, nor should ever, be replicated. anne's grief at the loss of her daughter is so palpable and it's incredible how she came up with this concept of an immortal child who should never die but inevitably dies as an equivalent to that. it's incredible how the death of claudia does shape the entire series to come, even if she wrote this first novel in the 1970s and wasn't done until almost 2020.
and tvl is so good because it is a story of persevering through suffering, of finding happiness even when it shouldn't be possible, of making the most of moments. the whole series really is, as a whole, persevering through suffering, especially as louis does, eventually, in the books find peace. even if it takes a while.
the rest of the books are questionable almost fully, but each one has at least one moment of something beautiful, whether it's beautiful love, grief, horror, etc.
when anne sold the books to make a tv show in 2016/2017, I was !! so ecstatic. I hadn't read the whole series by that point, ofc, but I loved louis and lestat, I loved them so much, and the idea of seeing them was everything, especially because they DO kiss in tvl and their romance is so important to tvl and QotD. I waited for years for the show to make it to tv, and had definitely lost hope sometime in 2019. I remember talking to a friend about how 'I'll believe it when I see it' because it just kept getting delayed.
and I'm so glad it did. because it getting delayed for whatever reasons meant rolin jones got to showrun it and meant sam reid and jacob anderson got the roles of lestat and louis and meant that a combination of all of that, plus the knowledge of how the series ends, made them center loustat as the only couple for each other, as this undeniable and beautiful and all-consuming thing. the show is more than anything I ever dreamed of, and it makes me appreciate the existence of the books in a lot of ways because without them we wouldn't have the show that we have now. like yes, a lot is different, but if they weren't written at all this wouldn't be here to improve drastically on the source material.
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Okay I don't know if you're still looking for feedback about which AUs are our faves, but I'm most interested in It Takes A Squadron and the Corruption AU. I love found family and I love horror.
Here I thought I was weird for actually plotting my AUs into hypothetical "seasons" like a show format. Mine is about the revival of the Saiyans (I know that's a very controversial concept but I try to address the main criticism of this by introducing new OC species who have similar potentials so it's not too Saiyan-centric) and over time morphs into an exploration of how corrupt the gods of the DB universe are.
Season one is about rescuing Bulma from Planet Vegeta and subsequently going around and clearing up the mess that resulted from nobody actually realising the Saiyans are back for months after it happened. I've written the first half with the Bulma rescue plotline into a full fic which is all I've publicly produced so far.
Season two is a complete rewrite of Tarble (my pookie) set on one of my OC planets, introducing the villain and new heros who continue through the rest of the AU. I also want to write this one as a fic, but I'm having trouble because I'm worried the people who liked the first fic for being centered mostly around canon characters will be put off by the new setting and cast.
After that I'm having more trouble plotting out the remaining seasons because I know the main events but not what goes in between them to get the time jumps I need. But by the end of the story Goku has two wives, someone is revealed to be the ACTUAL reincarnation of the super Saiyan god, Frieza gets married and divorced twice to the same person, Cell and Cooler become allies, and the Saiyan crown goes to two lesbians one of whom isn't Saiyan.
(Let me know if I'm infodumping too much- just excited because you're the first person I've seen to do this format other than me)
My current favorites are my Overhaul. The series? Apparently HFIL MANSION. It's a loose rewrite of Hazbin that deals with redemption. It has an audiobook series on YouTube and Voice Acting and the jokes are hit and miss. Sometimes I range from writing fire to shit immediately.
The Demon Realm and The Otherworld (Includes Heaven which has a different name in line to HFIL.), and Land of The Kais are all entwined. The storyline is every single year demons from the demon realm come exterminate residents of HFIL and Orion recently fell down tries to expidite a redemption plot.
I also have a chart of characters in the Overhaul AU.
Oriel is Zeno's mom. I have a story on who Void is (The real father of Zeno whose quite literally and I'm not joking Anti Matter, you can say she banged tf out of it.)
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I love loona
Loona was my life but I've lost the same passionate feeling I've had for them years ago, I'd fill notebooks with details about them, I'd imagine in my head designs for their performances/stages/outfits and sub-units, I'd plan out stories on their lore... nowadays I've stopped but still I'll share what descriptions I use for them:
Heejin:
Passionate on the outside pretty much a dork on the inside it's Loona's dangun (founder), Heekkie <3
(Heejin mentioned how the company (FUCK BBC) always told her to look soft, innocent and natural (its a shame because she looks good with the contact lens), nowadays she has a more charismatic and i'd say 'sharp' public image especially the heejin in ARTMS, I think the closest she's ever come to this during loona era is the Not Friends MV) and about expectations... she's always done the best of whatever concept that the company would throw at her so i shouldnt be that surprised at how well she's doing now)
Hyunjin:
The girl who will one day tilt the world on its axis, by being sheer impossible to figure out, it's Loona's barking Aeongie <3
(I'll admit out of everyone I've always thought she'd be the first one to leave and pursue an acting career but then again she had the longest trainee time if im not mistaken so maybe this shouldn't be a surprise (she will sing no matter what), to me in Loona she'd always been this mischievous weird character but nowadays i think she has a bit more soothing quality to her that matches her voice maybe after she became a leader she mellowed out slightly. Her voice in 'Lady in the Rainy Night' on King of Masked Singer is my favourite ever pls pls sing an ost pls)
Haseul:
She's the woman god told you to fear, with a swish of her wand the mighty would tremble, it's Loona's momseul <3 #Always_With_Haseul (please this is so cringy)
(omg who is this sexy woman wowwwwww again public image of her that ive had before was cozy... mum but elegant... but cozy idk? again ARTMS totally changed the 1/3 girls,,, she looks sharper? nowadays but you know she's always been described by the rest of moon girls as the one that'd wear high heels to the salon even if there was nothing on their schedule and she's always had a rich girl feel to her so i think this side of her isn't new at all, still waiting for her to showcase her opera skill on an official song though)
Yeojin:
Loona's very own Syupeo Ulteura Pingping Pongpong Gwiyeopgo Kkamjjikan YeoJinie <3
YEOJIN THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE (she's always been my bias and when she was in BBC I was so glad that they let her open her ig acc because she slayed like pose, face card, body ATE anyhow the difference between her now and her then is she is expressing her more sensual (like that sunmi's full moon cover)? side which is something i know BBC wouldn't have let them do)
Vivi:
A deer, shy and reserved but oh so powerful, her potential untapped, its Loona's adorable matnae, Hwang Ara <3
(Viviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii I have to be honest i never understood other people's obsession with her while she's in loona but I get it now lol she's so.. chill? and effortlessly funny, but out of the 12 her image I'd say is the most constant thing ever since loona days I'd like to see her do a spooky concept or what and completely shed her innocent soft image that she did since predebut girl like do some horror concept or what (i think she wants to as well) and maybe like... youtube channel? pls vivi)
Kim Lip:
Tsundere and chic but you can hear her pterodactyl scream from a mile away it's Loona's meme Lippie <3
(I think kim lip as well haven't really changed as much? or maybe it's because I don't pay attention to artms as much as loossemble my bad but anyways even during loona era I noticed she's very very ambitious and determined that i thought maybe she'd release another solo song? or go solo but she's a good team player and even when she's considered as like main vocal in loona (considered by fans because they didnt have official titles) I've always thought her voice was underutilized, thank god she's free)
Jinsoul:
Her voice is like a pattering of rain as it calms your soul, her humor impossible to ignore, it's Loona's Jindori <3
(Jinsoul... wow where do I start, I love her voice, I'm glad Odd-eye is still going strong and I love love the idea of her self-composing, producing writing and all that on an entire album and maybe releasing a song like 'As Time Goes On' ...pls? and whoever is styling the artms girls... chef's kiss to every single stylist coordinator wtvr because they've looked great since debut also i m glad she chose tiger now as her representative animal instead of continuing with the blue betta fish bs cuz thats too specific lol)
Choerry:
She's the sun, so bright you can't really approach her, giving you warmth it's Loona's Choili <3
(Choerry has always been portrayed by BBC as this very bright, very cheerful girl and she is,, but in ARTMS we get to see a more sentimental poignant image of her AND IM GLAD because she kills it, i wish loona was given the chance to explore darker concepts like this but anyways she's one of the reason why i was okay when Loona split up because I'll be honest outside of the stage she doesn't attract my eye at all, loona has some really big personalities and with 12 people it's hard to pay attention to each individual, she shines more in ARTMS)
Yves:
Known as the bellybutton thief, she has the world in her grasp, it's Loona's comedian Yves <3 (wtf sheprobably did 1 random thing but idk why ive attributed that fact to her thats so weird)
I JUST NEED SOME SPACE (I love her song!! I love the creative direction she's going!!! I love it all and she's so good at it, I love the dancing skills she showcase! Her song is so her and idk how to describe it any other way, if you notice the kind of pictures/selfies she posts on insta, the vibe of those pictures are like the songs she's releasing, so everything she releases feels so authentic and I wouldn't trade it for anything else (diorama remains as my fav))
Chuu:
Winning everyone's hearts one by one, one at a time, it's Loona's lesbian icon Chuu<3
(I knew she'd go solo at some point and I'm glad she did I absolutely love her songs and especially the fact that she's singing a full song instead of just the high note or the random rap added in (Chuu's howl has a special place in my heart). it's kinda crazy how she's able to feel so... sincere? and after the whole boycott fiasco I see a new side of her, I thought she's this cutie pie, harmless and entertaining and she's that but she's also fierce, protective and steadfast. I never doubted her ability as a singer but I kinda want to see her release an album that mixes howl and strawberry rush vibes)
Gowon:
Her voice shakes you to your core, her rap even more so it's Loona's kind, crunchy, godwon <3
(This photoshoot with mu_gung shook me to my very core Idk how to explain it but when you have someone that looks incredibly doll-like do a concept like this it's so... beguiling? enchanting? It's like seeing an ethereal being in a forest luring me in. Anyways Gowon's got potential, she's so charming and she has what it takes to succeed but even in loossemble I've never seen her tap into her potential? so to speak, I think she needs a change in approach to the idol stuff since now there's an oversaturation of cutesy idols, I want her to do something like babymetal)
Hyeju:
Assarabia, columbia, don't raise up, don't put down Loona's boss baby and watermelon-carver, Hyejoo <3
(gosh where do i even start with Hyeju? From the very start she has been one of the most popular, most well-liked but BBC photoshopped her so many times that if I only judge her from their social media back then i'd have thought she's least-liked. She talked (publicly) about her hardship as a trainee the most I think, I wondered how badly they treated the girl. Anyways my most lasting impression of her was near her debut where she stuck her head out of acar and said "Look at me! Look at me from now on! Don't look at anyone else" and honestly yeah it's hard to tear your eyes away from her especially now)
I honestly don't know what to say I miss them and I miss the me that was a fan of them, writing this actually reignited my love for them but unfortunately I can't dedicate my time actively watching and cheering them on anymore and it's a shame, I hope the girls thrive for a long time after this,,,
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