#but Bonnie you have my heart
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lucabyte · 9 months ago
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[in the tone of 'randy your sticks'] ZA. YOUR SKIN!!!!
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lil-lemon-snails · 4 months ago
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Showing up very late to the party but I couldn't let it pass without offering something to celebrate!!! I can't believe it's been a whole 10 YEARS!! I feel old aksjfhsd
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reverieprince · 1 year ago
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YURI‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
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starcurtain · 3 months ago
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I do agree with all the stuff you said in your body language post about aventurine, but there was an instance in 2.3 where he was standing right next to boothill when you meet with him and boothill, and obviously boothill isn't close to aventurine at all. Do you think this is an exception just because they were in the same room together and devs had to make them stand together so trailblazer could converse w/ them both?
I think it's just because they're not actually in the same room together.
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In 2.3, Aventurine showed up only as a hologram. He's probably in his own room alone, actually. And I'm not sure that he could walk away as hologram, even if he wanted to. 😂
That said, it isn't that he never has any up-close conversations; it's just that he has way less of them than other characters do.
As another aside, I also think that Boothill is the kind of person who would absolutely go "The heck you tryin' to talk to me from the other side of the room for?!" And he would just walk right up on Aventurine with zero hesitation.
The space bubble does not exist for him lolol.
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iknowicanbutwhy · 5 months ago
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a question about full cast! when they're.. acting like the rest of the party??? who's who? (as in, 'the FIRST siffrin is odile, the SECOND siffrin is mirabelle,' etc - completely random picks there and not intended as actual guesses) what's up with bonnie-loop?
or is it just Rule Of Funny?
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OKAY so I forgot to tag a post, but like, This Post is very relevant to your questions!
GETTING ALL THE WAY UP TO 36 LOOPS IS LIKE. BOTH THE WORST CASE SCENARIO AND AN INCREDIBLY DEMORALIZING EXPERIENCE. It was just too fucking funny not to draw the Universe breaking under the strain of this Black Hole of a person.
Which is to say!! It's said it takes a village to raise a Siffrin but nobody there is playing any particular role at that point. There's no way to tell anyone apart beyond "A Loop" and "The Siffrin," "a New (hopeful) Star" or "an Old (jaded) Star." When you become one of the many, many failures, and the Universe won't let you walk away, you just. That's all that matters anymore. You can't even take yourself seriously, let alone those around you.
BUT!!! Say we keep it to Four Loops, a much more manageable number. I mentioned in the previous post somewhat about how they don't differentiate very well - except for mini-loop, who was fortunate enough to at least look different - until they all decide on what role they're going to take up in their silly little one-person play. They just Don't intrude on each other's lines, on each other's characters, too caught up in their own - unless they're being Siffrin, just to tease him. They're as happy as they can be, having found a way to be.. well, not themselves, per se. But not a group of failed Siffrins. Not all the same doomed narrative. And in a way, they get to experience the people they love again.
When they have the energy to keep up the act, they talk differently, they walk differently, they focus on different things, and it's enough to tell one from the other half the time. And they'll keep going with this until it inevitably gets to them, just how much they're still. Worse versions of someone else.
Oh, but mini-bonnie-loop was made that short both because they worded their wish weird trying to find a loophole (tee hee) and also because the Universe was like. I'm gonna make this really funny. And well if the Universe is making them out like they could replace Siffrin's entire cast, who are they not to follow?
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hopeinthebox · 4 months ago
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tagged by my beloveds @cordiallyfuturedwight and @aprylynn for the july list <33 i'm terribly afraid the glen powell of it all got to me this july and thus..
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you can find this country music for beginners playlist here and check out lizzy's guide to the delicate art of making a playlist for a breakdown from yours truly if you feel so inclined <33
tagging my musical favs if they haven't already: @thvinyl @kimtaegis @jihopesjoint @visionsofgideontheninth @hoseeok @eoieopda @monismochi <333 and your lovely self reading this also
#and now for the facts and figures:#charleston girl - some of my absolute fav childers. a lot of banjo from the offset so maybe need to work your way up to this one#chorus is so anthemic you find yourself beginning to think you were raised in west virginia#wondering why - it's fantastic. no notes. and if you're on this site i know you at least saw mr supernatural himself cover it#all your'n - it's a twofer for childers and this is perhaps one of the greatest love songs ever written but it's best not to get into that#you and i - this one's been here before and it'll no doubt be here again!! i can say with 95% confidence this is my favourite lady gaga.#jo calderone you will always be famous. it's a country song at heart#all the ways - i have loved this song all year. it's so soulful and feels a bit like early bonnie raitt. ray lamontagne feature is inspired#broken horses - another anthem of a chorus. whole song feels like a kick in the teeth it's exceptional#country's cool again - good lord. everybody do wanna be a cowboy#think i'm in love - was pronounced dead for 3 minutes after i'd heard this one.#luckily the song was on repeat and dua kept hitting those low notes which revived me#bodyguard - song of the summer honestly. i know i say this a lot but cmon#revival - love for this one was reignited after the maggie rogers / springsteen live feature. almost biblical#i think that's it. well. do check out all country music if you haven't had the chance yet. they're doing some wonderful stuff over there#receiptify#tag#MWAH
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nerdie-faerie · 2 years ago
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Thinking about how most of the times we see Kol in tvd he's acting as errand boy for his siblings, starting with Rebekah asking him to kill Matt at the ball. If he cared solely about killing someone to spit in the face of Esther's rules he could have killed anyone else after Rebekah changed the plan. The second time, he's in Denver with Jeremy and texts Klaus to let him know if there's anything else his brother needs from him. And later Klaus calls on him to use his presence with Jeremy to threaten Bonnie into undoing the linking spell. Then he's there again to kill Mary when he finds out from Klaus that the mfg are trying figure out who they're sired from after breaking his cover in Denver. He's not even in series 4 up until Rebekah gets undaggered and suddenly he's there to retrieve the professor for her
I just think it's interesting that he's characterised as the volatile and reckless sibling and in the originals we learn that he constantly feels like an outsider in his own family with Klaus, Rebekah and Elijah making up their own little trio with Finn daggered. And yet anytime they need something he's there, almost as though he's still desperately trying to endear himself to them until he inevitably lashes out and gets daggered for it, his efforts constantly unappreciated. The only time he asks them for a favour that I can recall is when he swears Rebekah to secrecy about the dagger he's working on against Klaus only for her to tattle and get him daggered
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chirpsythismorning · 1 year ago
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☎️🎲 🤼‍♂️ ✈️🚪 ➡️ 🫀🎮⌛️
What You Won't Do For Love by Bobby Caldwell
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previous ⏪︎ now playing ⏩ next back to playlist
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enobariasteeth · 2 years ago
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“The Bonnie & Clyde musical is problematic!! It romanticizes criminals!!”
Okay, but have you considered Jeremy Jordan with a southern accent?
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ajdrawshq · 1 year ago
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on that note. heyy wait no nvm what i was abt to say i think i just found the glitch in the matrix here.. OHHHHH I DID
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oceantornadoo · 9 months ago
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bad day (simon riley x reader, best friends to lovers)
honestly, you should have seen it coming. staying in a safe house with four men who have never ending stomachs? but today, it was the last straw.
“you ate my last cookie?”
soap’s face dropped, jaw open. your voice was on the verge of breaking, tears forming in your eyes. you never showed this much vulnerability in front of the team, and he was flabbergasted. he shot a look at gaz, who was equally as confused. “‘m sorry, bonnie, i didnae ken-“ you pushed your hands on the table, shoving your chair back and out. “it’s ok. gonna take a nap.” you were wiping your eyes furiously, feeling unstable. first you got your period four days early (asking price to add pads to the shopping list was something you never wanted to experience again), then you couldn’t find your heating pad, and now your cookies were out? maybe it was the hormones, but you were done.
“oof.” you had ran into a thick wall. scratch that, the wall was moving. your vision was blurred by tears you refused to shed that you didn’t even realize it was your closest friend ghost. “dove?” you hiccuped. why did he always have to be so nice to you? gruff and mean-sounding to everyone else, but an avid listener and sweet talker when it came to you. “jus’ trying to get to my room, didn’t see you. sorry l.t..” you tried to maneuver around him, but unfortunately a 6’4 machine of a man did not move easily.
“why you cryin’, baby?” shit, simon did not mean to call you that. he did not want to have this conversation right now, especially when you looked like you were about to break down. you were always so strong, having to work ten times harder as a woman in the military, and he was always careful to not undermine you or your struggles. unfortunately, that landed him firmly in the friendzone for the past year, unable to confess his feelings without breaking your trust. he maneuvered you to the closest room, which happened to be his. he sat down on the bed, intending to sit you down next to him, but instead you still stood, walking in between his parted legs.
“‘m sorry, just on my period and everything hurts and it’s all hitting at once.” your eyes were red, avoiding his. he could see you were in pain, and as someone who had endured enemy torture and the hardest forms of training, his heart never hurt as much as it did now. he reached a gloved hand towards your face, brushing away your tears. his other hand came to your lower belly, rubbing circles over your clothes. “shhh, ‘s okay. you wanna sit down?” you shook your head in disagreement. you felt like a child, but you were never allowed to be weak outside of your own room. for some reason today, you let simon riley see you weak.
you walked around his body and laid on top of his covers, curling into a fetal position. he let you get comfy, finding a way to lay down that lessened your cramps. finally, you were done moving. “si?” you never called him that unless you absolutely needed him. he got up and locked the door, not wanting to disturb your peace. “yeah, baby?” might as well use it now, you hadn’t complained. if anything your face softened when he said it, and simon riley would die a thousand deaths just to see a moment of relief on your face. “will you lay with me?”
he eagerly stripped out of his gear, climbing on top of his bed to lay down with you. he placed a hand on your arm, letting you choose where you wanted him. you dragged his hand under your sweatshirt, using it like a heating pad for your cramps. you let out a soft moan of pleasure and he answered it with a low growl, pulling you into him by the stomach. his thumb caressed your bare skin with small circles, memorizing every dip and valley. he strived to commit the moment to memory, not knowing if you’d ever be this vulnerable again. “feel better, dove?” you nodded, finally succumbing to sleep that had evaded you the past night. he smiled under his mask, placing a small kiss to the back of your head.
finally you were at peace, and all because of him.
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swordsandholly · 5 months ago
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Cherry Bomb - tattoo parlor au anthology
MDNI | poly 141 x fem fat reader | masterlist
Part 2: Piercings and Puns
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“Pleeaaasse?” Johnny whines, pressing his hands together and giving you the biggest, sparkliest puppy dog look you could imagine.
You roll your eyes. “No.”
“Please! My two o’clock cancelled an’ I’m so bored!” He flops over the counter, arms dangling right above the appointment books. You pointedly ignore the size of his biceps.
“I’m not letting you pierce me just because you’re bored.” You scoff. “Now shoo, Simon’s got an appointment coming in soon.”
“But ye barely have any!” He argues. “All I’m askin’ fer is a wee ear. No��� even a nipple!”
A shocked amalgamation of a bark, laugh, and scoff forces it’s way out of you at that. “It’s still a no!”
Johnny groans, but at least moves away from the counter. Unfortunately, he takes the opportunity to circle around behind you, pinching the cartilage of your ear. “C’mon, ol’ righty’s beggin’ fer a conch.”
The intercom buzzes before you can respond. You swat Johnny away with one hand while pressing the speaker button with the other. “Hello?”
“I’ve go’ an appointment with Ghost.” A man’s voice drifts through. You blink dumbly for half a moment. You still haven’t gotten used to Simon’s social media and booking moniker - he doesn’t like giving his real name out much, apparently.
You buzz him in. Johnny is still hanging around the desk even when you leave to get Simon - making your way down the shirt hall to his studio. The large man stands in front of his stencil maker, back turned to you.
You knock on his door frame quietly. “Your guy’s here.”
“Be out in a moment.” He mumbles, focused on whatever he’s doing. You don’t really know the steps by heart, but you do know that there’s something so special about watching artists perform this repetitive song and dance. This rhythm they know by heart. Skilled hands enacting each step with careful precision.
He’s so hard to read. Big and bulky but calm as the night sea. You want him to like you, but you know badgering him certainly won’t get you there. So, you turn on your heal and head back out. When you return to the front, Johnny’s disappeared back into his room.
You suck your teeth and lean back in the desk chair, rolling your earlobe between your thumb and index finger. It’s not a bad offer, really. You only have two earlobe piercings on each side. Wouldn’t hurt to add a helix… you’ve also wanted to get your thirds done for a while. Work your way up. You glance at the clock. Simon won’t be done with his client for at least an hour or so, and you’ve balanced the registers for the moment. Both Kyle and John are out today, so they won’t need anything.
It wouldn’t hurt… well, not metaphorically.
With a sigh you stand, wandering your way to Johnny’s space. The door’s wide open, and his head snaps up the moment you step close like a sixth sense. “Takin’ me up on my offer, bonnie?”
You roll your eyes. “Guess I am.”
“Whit d’ye want?” Johnny practically skips around his station, pulling out wrapped, sanitized tools and placing them on a rolling tray. He pats the center of the padded table in the middle of the room.
“Uh, been wanting to do my thirds for a while.” You shrug. “If you have time for two.”
“Och, I’ve got all the time in the world fer ye, hen.” Johnny grins, pulling up in front of you and grabbing a marker.
He’s so close as he places the marks on your ears, warm fingers feeling for the best spots. A thumb traces the back of your left ear down just to the beginning of your jaw briefly. Fuck, he smells good. Warm musk with hints of citrus around the edges. The way he tucks your hair back, hands framing your face as he lines up the dots, is so oddly intimate compared to the other times you’ve gotten pierced. He chews at his lip in concentration, pulling at the scar on his chin while turning your head back forth a couple times.
“Think I’ve got it.” He grins and steps back. “Have a look.”
You take the mirror, casually checking but not paying too much attention. You trust him to do right by you. “Looks good.”
“A’right. Now the fun part.” He grins, tearing open the pack of tools and a two new needles.
“Is this fun?” You frown, squirming a little at the size of the needle.
“It’s always fun t’poke a pretty girl.”
You roll your eyes, a growing theme between you two it seems. “Oh, you thought that was real clever, didn’t you? Had that in your pocket a while?”
“Why donnae ye reach in an‘ check?” He murmurs, leaning close to clamp your left ear. You’re half tempted to tell him it’s mean to tease a fat girl like this - but you don’t think he means anything like that by it. He’s just a flirt by nature.
Before you can answer, he shoves the needle through your ear. You stiffen, a strained noise bubbling up out of your throat.
Johnny coos as he slips the earring into your ear. “One doon.”
“Uh-huh.” You sniffle. Not that it hurts badly, just a basic physical reaction. Johnny still gives you an empathetic smile.
The second goes quicker, Johnny locked in on his work. It’s interesting, seeing how intense they get. You Is it odd to wish someone would look at you like that? With that much focus and passion?
“There ye go…good girl.” He murmurs in that deep rumble that would have you squirming if you didn’t still have a needle through your ear. “Doin’ so good f’me...”
“You’re a devil, MacTavish.”
Johnny just chuckles, knowing full well exactly what he’s doing. He steps back to look at the final result after slipping the second stud into your ear. They feel hot - like two small ovens on either side of your head.
“If it weren’t for the piercings I’d think ye were blushing, hen.”
“You’re gonna get yourself slapped one of these days.” You scoff, sliding off the table.
“Wouldnnae be the first time.”
You find yourself rolling your eyes for the millionth time.
You grunt, squatting low in an attempt to pick the last of the parlor trash. It’s not that you mind, trash was part of your duties from the start, but holy shit do these boys put bricks in their bins? You’d think tattoos would make light trash. Especially after the sharps are disposed of separately.
“Solid?” Simon appears in the hall, eyes flicking over you. You still can’t tell how he feels about you. Neutral, you suppose. At least that’s all you can glean from behind his seemingly permanent black surgical mask.
“Ya.” You sigh, letting the bag drop and leaning back to stretch. “Just heavy. Swear y’all aren’t throwing rocks in these just to fuck with me?”
You give him a grin. Simon just cocks an eyebrow - exaggerated by the small piercing lining it. You think, maybe the slight shaking of his shoulder is a laugh. In combination won’t he crinkles in the corners of his eyes. Maybe not.
“‘ere.” Simon grunts, closing the short distance between you quickly before snatching up the bag like it weighs almost nothing.
You stutter, following after him toward the back exit. “You don’t have to-“
“Not a problem.” He grunts, tossing the thing over the side of the bin. He quietly leads you back inside, locking the door behind you “Johnny go’ you already?”
When you frown in confusion he points to his ears.
“Oh! Yeah.” You shrug, leading the way back to front desk to finish up your closing duties. “He’s insistent. I’d wanted them for a while anyway so I figured there’s no harm.”
“Give ‘im an inch...” He sighs, pointing to the black bar bridge piercing at the apex of his nose. “Somehow talked me into this shite.”
You tilt your head. “Yeah? I think it suits you.”
It really does. You can’t see most of his nose form under the mask but the arc of it leading up to bridge is strong, the piercing settling into the space nicely.
Simon breaks the silence. “You about done?”
“Almost. Just gotta check the ATM against the book real quick.” You nod.
He stares down at you for a moment, glancing out the semi-opaque window, now black with the night sky. There aren’t many street lamps on this side of town. You can only see a very faint glow from the one down by the car park.
“I’ll wait.” Simon settles his wide frame into Kyle’s usual chair.
“Oh! No you don’t have to! I’m sure you’re tired-“
“Wouldn’t feel right leavin’ you alone in the dark.” He cuts you off.
“It’s not a far walk-“
He scoffs. “Definitely not leaving you to walk alone.”
You sink your teeth into your lip, debating briefly on arguing. Based on his comfortable lean and crossed arms, it’s probably best to just let him walk you home. He looks so wide like that, veins prominent across his forearms. Fuck, you gotta find a boyfriend or booty call or something in this city. Anything to stop the temptation to stare at your hot coworkers.
It doesn’t take long to finish up your final chores. You turn all but one light off, wiring down from the bright overheads glaring at you all day. You glance over at Simon a few times while locking up the ATM, his covered face lit up by the light of his phone.
He leads you out of the shop once you’re finished, locking the door behind you and trying it a couple times to be sure. “Which way?”
“Uh, down here. It’s only twenty minutes.” You murmur, feeling guilty that you’ve kept him out extra late. You shove your hands in your hoodie pockets as you walk, the only sound on the street made up of your footsteps and some distant cars.
“What falls but never gets hurt?” Simon asks suddenly.
You frown. “Huh?”
“What falls but never gets hurt?”
You squint at him, trying to decipher anything from his face in the low light. You get nothing but a calm, warm gaze resting on you.
His eyes crinkle in the corners again. “Rain.”
“Pffft-“ You choke, caught off guard. “That’s such a lame pun.”
“Oh? I’ve got a better one.” Simon says, a smirk in his tone. “Why’d the mother clam scold her children?”
You chew your lip. God, you’re too literal to be clever enough for stupid puns and riddles. It doesn’t help that your head is spinning from this brick shithouse, incredibly attractive and intimidating man spitting popsicle puns at you.
“They were being shellfish.”
“Oh fuck off!” You shove at his arm playfully without thinking. He gives, let’s you push him slightly before you stiffen. “S-sorry! I don’t-“
“Nothin’ to apologize for.” The corners of his eyes crinkle deeper. Yeah, definitely a smile. You answer it with one of your own.
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devil-in-hiding · 3 months ago
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this weather is messing with me because it makes me want to write ANGST and i don’t WANNA RIGHT NOW (bare with me because this IS in the works in my google docs and i have made some changes for this story)
But all i can think of is neighbor!Simon and virgin!reader who has fallen head over heels, but tries to shake him off because Simon still brings home his weekly bed warmer, and it breaks your heart more and more to the point that you decide distancing yourself a tad would be better, the night he hardly looked in your direction when leading his bed mate through the door, closing it without sparing you a glance
tears burn your eyes as you enter your apartment, hands shaking as you pull out your phone, scrolling through your contacts until johnny’s goofy face lights up your phone as you hit call
“was starting to believe i’d have to go a wellness check lass” Johnny’s teasing voice answers, and you respond in kind with a pathetic little sob as you grip your phone
“Hey, hey what’s wrong lass? What’s happened?”
“C-can you come over? I-I just w-want some company.”
“I’ll be there in thirty.” and then the line clicks
He makes it in 15, pounding on your door and you rush to open it before he alerts anyone
But as you open the door, Johnny swoops you up into his arms, concern swimming in his eyes “oh bonnie, what’s the matter?” His voice reaches your ears, but you can only focus on the pair of eyes over johnny’s shoulder
staring at you through that god damn Balaclava
you look away, grabbing johnnys hand and dragging him through the door
Simon is still staring when you slam the door.
i am still half asleep so i know this is shit but it’s been stuck in my head
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shotmrmiller · 10 months ago
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I like to think that Simon has no game. He's large, he's unapproachable, his stare alone scares away the women. Which was totally fine, until one day, he saw you as Johnny's screensaver on his phone. He was entranced, mesmerized. He's seen more than enough beautiful women on the orange youtube (his hand being his only source of relief for years) but there was something different about you. Maybe it was the tender smile you had on your face, or maybe it was how you glowed with happiness.
Or your eyes. Your eyes twinkled with affection, you looked at the camera with love. Love. That's it.
He can't remember the last time someone aimed a fond look his way. And whenever he stares at your photo, it looks like you're lovingly gazing back at him— and it gets him fucking hard.
Johnny once left his phone behind, for whatever reason, and Simon waited a solid minute, (60) seconds, before he picked it up, and took out his own phone to take a picture of you.
Simon wanked himself raw that night, his thick cum splattering over his screen, over your face. His refractory period that night was nonexistent.
And when Johnny one day was on the phone with you? When Johnny said, "Simon's here too, hen. Say hello." The way your melodic voice said his name? His cock was achingly hard within seconds, and he shifted around uncomfortably, willing for it to disappear.
It didn't. Simon walked with a wide gait, legs stiff, straight to the nearest bathroom and took himself in his hand. He gripped his long, thick length tight, and when he closed his eyes, he squeezed even harder, almost painfully. His tip was an angry red, from how tight he held himself, and that's how snug he imagined your undoubtedly pretty pussy would be around him.
He had to clench his jaw— grit his teeth hard, to keep the pathetic whimpers from escaping. Simon leaked pre-cum like a juvenile, stringy like egg whites, all over his knuckles and he hadn't even started pumping yet.
When someone knocked on the door, the snarl he let out was feral, a "Fuck off" so nasty, no one disturbed him again until he came with his head tilted back, and the vision of you riding him behind his closed eyes.
And then in the comfort of his own quarters, he pulled up your picture again— a blurry, too zoomed-in photo of a photo, and rut into one of his pillows, again imagining it was you. He thought of you on your back, legs open invitingly and waiting for him to fill you. He imagined the delicious moans you'd breathe out in his ear, your nails digging into the expanse of his broad, scarred back. He imagined your walls fluttering around him, the tell-tale sign of your upcoming climax, and you'd squeeze him so bloody tight when you finally did come, he'd move to pull out because there's no way he's not finishing with you. But you, you'd wrap your legs around his waist, and cross your ankles— effectively keeping him inside of you.
He'd cum on the spot, because you were effectively giving him your permission to finish inside. You'd rhythmically clench your walls to milk him dry, to take all of his seed.
And when his warped, fucked mind imagined you whispering an 'I love you' on his lips, he actually came, and he whimpered.
Simon's hips stuttered as his cock twitched and spasmed, spurting thick globs of cum all over his pillow, his bed. His breath came in shaky pants, his heart slamming against his ribcage.
After he stopped shaking, and was able to move his limbs, he cleaned his mess up shamefully, the post-nut clarity hitting hard, and as he switched bedsheets, he saw his phone light up with a notification.
Bonnie just sent this picture. Doesn't she look cute?
It was you holding a cup of iced coffee, and what stood out to him the most was your brightly colored nails.
He touched himself to the thought of those manicured hands wrapped around his cock, as you took him in your mouth 10 minutes later.
this was my inspo for this simon
@pieckyghost i really only have porn on my mind :( pussy on my mind, tighter than a headband.
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all-purpose-dish-soap · 4 months ago
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if the military wanted you to have a wife, they'd issue you one. Soap's heard that saying once or twice.
and here you are. claiming to be his... issuance.
you tilt your head. "you don't remember signing up for the program?"
no. no, he doesn't. his eyes dart down to your lips for a fraction of a second before returning to your eyes. he'd remember that. more to the point, he'd remember whatever he did to deserve this. he looks you up and down again, disbelief and desire flashing across his face, and not in equal measure.
you’re like if someone wrung the starry slurry of thoughts constituting what makes a perfect woman directly from his brain matter, let it ferment and clarify like honey wine, put marriage papers in her hand, and dressed her in a… in a fucking… are those stockings stretching up under your skirt?
hell’s bells. you’re one part girl next door, one part muse—the one his hand can never quite shape on the page to match what’s in his head—and several shades of his favorite porn star. an old-fashioned pin-up doll in the flesh.
"you're not John MacTavish, then," you say, peering down at the papers in your hand with a small frown. "so sorry to bother you—"
“no, hold on.” he takes a step closer. “i’m him, aye. but the program...” the application questionnaire. filling it out was nothing more than a drunken bet with Gaz, but yes, he dimly remembers it. doesn't recall turning it in, but maybe he was drunker than he thought. “it's real?"
“completely real. i was selected for you based on the preferences you specified,” you tell him. you shift the clipboard into your other arm, pleasant smile turning into a frown. "but i couldn't possibly ask you to sign a marriage certificate sponsored by a program you don't even remember applying for."
oh, that is rich. you don’t seem to see the humor here. it’s absurd. have you not seen yourself? he'd be daft to pass on someone as bonnie as you.
not to mention you seem more than a little disappointed at the idea of being turned down. that fuels his ego even more.
 "you're sayin' you're a part of that military partnership program, aye? and you were handpicked as my spouse based on a few questions?"
you helpfully produce a copy of his responses in pink triplicate. sure enough, he recognizes his own drunken scrawl.
none of the questions have anything to do his preferences looks-wise. career aspirations, communication preferences, hobbies, his ideal saturday night. his sleeping habits. this is a psychological profile. CIA shite, as Gaz would say.
he doubts his drunken self read more than a few lines of this paperwork while he was constructing his dream girl in the survey blanks.
as he studies the page a little too closely, your small frown turns into a frustrated scowl. "john? um, i mean."
it instantly pulls his eyes back to your lips.
you twirl a strand of hair around your finger. "it’s nice to meet you,” you say in a tone that makes it clear what you’re really saying is ‘hey, stud, i'm looking forward to the honeymoon.’
that’s your attempt, at least. but Soap sees more than you mean to show. the way you play that card--the way you twirl your damn hair--is the clumsiest, most blatant attempt to flirt. somehow, that's what catches him off-guard the most. It makes his heart squeeze. god, are you nervous? you?
he runs over the back of his teeth in the split second before his signature lazy smirk slides back across his face. "happy you got paired up with a bloke like me?"
he hands the paperwork back to you. you take it back with great relief and nestle it securely into the crook of your elbow. you’re certain he didn’t sign every single blank he was supposed to, but he won’t remember that. you’ll check the signature lines later and forge his handwriting to finish it.
you smile prettily at him. then you make it a little more coy. you should be bashful--he's handsome. "i'm lucky. you're special forces. i’m a nobody, really. if you want, you could try filing for a spouse upgrade. if you want a really good fiancée..."
“fiancée." Soap rolls the word around his tongue. "is that what i should call you?”
"well. you saw my name on the paperwork," you point out. you know very well he didn't.
before he can ask any more questions, you press a chaste kiss to his cheek and pull away, walking down the hall with documents in tow. his gaze is heavy on your back.
the documents in your arm are real enough. Soap really did complete that questionnaire, just like how he remembers. getting the application turned in is what required a little creative effort.
but as long as nobody looks too closely at the military ID photocopied in the application file, they won't notice that the mostly-obscured face of the soldier who turned the application in doesn't look much like Soap at all.
...
more Soap / masterlist
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galaxywarp · 1 year ago
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Princess Bubblegum's "You think I'm nice?" in that Stakes scene always stood out to me, and after my official rewatch I know how to explain why:
PB expresses several times over the course of several years that she is trying to be a better person. It is heavily hinted at from the very beginning, but in season 5 with episodes like Rattleballs, the show comes right out and tells us that Bonnibel Bubblegum has a cruel and violent past. But it's a past that she regrets, and that she wants to move away from.
And it takes years! It takes multiple plot heavy disasters, some near death experiences, some scolding from her loved ones, and a lot of mistakes for PB to genuinely begin to change, and to change the perception that others have of her.
And I think Marceline's seemingly innocent little offhand comment about her being nice is so meaningful. Especially coming from Marceline!
Someone who she once broke her heart and who hated and resented her. Now when Marceline thinks of Bonnie, one of her immediate thoughts is simply "she's nice."
And PB can barely believe her ears. She's nice? You think I'm nice? My attempts at self improvement are actually real and noticeable and the people I love aren't afraid of me as much anymore? You think I’m nice?
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