#but 1) it sucks ass that i have to buy a new one 2) no one will probably be interest enough in my art to buy anything

[perilegs]

every time i try to do something scary on purpose for my social anxiety the universe decides to add in unexpected situations 😔

[chaotictomtom]

head hurts so much I HATE YOU SUMMER I HATE YOUUUU :'(((((((

[caninecowboy]

god im so fckn burnt out fuck

[5sospenguinqueen]

Kiss My Ass | Kevin Magnussen x Mercedes! Reader

Summary: On track, Kevin is your fiercest adversary. Off track, he likes to have you at his mercy (and in his heart).

Warnings: 18+ after the cut. Female oral. P in V. Unprotected sex. Female reader

Requested: Yes and no. People wanted a part 2 and I wanted to give it to them! You can read this as a standalone but part 1 - Suck My Balls - adds to the fun!

F1 Masterlist

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f1 just posted

liked by lifeofsteiner, pierregasly and others

f1 kevin magnussen receives a one-race ban. magnussen will miss the azerbaijan gp as he reaches 12 penalty points in a 12 month period

3,323 comments

yn_ln ha ha

→ user she’s so messy 

→ user can you blame her? he made contact with her again, which is why he got a penalty point  liked by yn_ln

haasf1team we warned him this would happen

user kevin looks so good in that photo though. his arms 🤤

→ yn_ln are we looking at the same photo? 

georgerussell63 @/mercedesamgf1 she’s being problematic online again

→ mercedesamgf1 she’s just had a pr meeting. we’re not allowed to give one again for another week 

→ yn_ln @/georgerussell63 snitch 

olliebearman sorry, kevin, but it will be nice to be back on track again

→ yn_ln and we will be delighted to have YOU

user love how yn is acting like this is the best news she’s had all year

→ yn_ln even better than my contract renewal 

mercedesamgf1 we apologise but we have taken yn’s social media off her until baku. thank you for your understanding  liked by kevinmagnussen

yn_ln just posted

liked by kevinmagnussen, maxverstappen1 and others 

yn_ln how was everybody’s sunday? oh, mine? thank you for asking. mine was splendid

10,204 comments 

user see what happens when kevin isn’t around  liked by yn_ln 

mercedesamgf1 we’re running out of pr presentations to show you (but we’ll let you off because you’re a RACE WINNER)

→ georgerussell63 i’ll make some

→ yn_ln i don’t like you very much sometimes 

→ georgerussell63 and comments like that will be in the presentation

→ yn_ln why can’t you just say congratulations like a normal person

alex_albon that’s my girl! stunt on these hoes

→ yn_ln my only supporter on the grid 

alexandrasaintmleux that’s my girl 🥳 so happy for you

→ charles_leclerc mon coeur, no. we’re sad. she overtook me

→ yn_ln stay sad (i’ll buy you a shot later)

user not kevin liking this. they’re so messy 

→ user they’re actually the best duo on the grid. every race i look forward to the memes they’ll create together 

landonorris i did it first 

→ yn_ln why does nobody just say congratulations anymore. i won a race! 

→ maxverstappen1 what? like it’s hard

→ landonorris seems like it has been recently 

→ yn_ln and they say i’m problematic 

user she’s such a good driver when kevin isn’t deliberately trying to crash into her 

→ yn_ln thank you. everyone else calls me crazy

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mercedesamgf1 just posted

liked by georgerussell63, danielricciardo and others

mercedesamgf1 mixed emotions in the garage after singapore. well done george on the points but a disappointing end for yn once more

3,620 comments

yn_ln why don’t you just rub salt in the wound further, admin. thank you. thank you very much 

→ georgerussell63 points points points

→ georgerussell63 why have i just had notification from hr that you made a formal complaint about me?

→ yn_ln you know why

user i swear he has it out for her at this point 

user i acc fear our girl over these next 6 races. kevin has no penalty points and no seat next year 

user how to tell kevin is back on track

user it’s giving school boy crush. pull her hair to get her to notice you

→ user they just race each other hard. they’re both stubborn and yn gives as good as she gets. they both turned into each other 

haasf1team oops? 

→ yn_ln you and your driver are on my list 

→ landonorris don’t worry. it doesn’t take up much time. i’ve been on it since 2019 

yn_ln @/georgerussell63 stop liking posts about my dnf’s this season. i keep getting notifs 

18+ !!!!

Goosebumps rippled across your bare back as his breath tickled your shoulders. He sucked a spot under your shoulder blade, watching as the skin reddened. The material of his shirt caressed your skin as he trailed kisses down your spine.

“You’ve got too many clothes on,” you chastised, rolling your shoulders back when his beard tickled your lower back. He pressed a kiss to the two divots there, pressing his thumbs in them after and marvelling at how well they fit. Like you were made for him.

“Patience, lille kriger.” Kevin whispered against your skin. His hands reached for your hips, pulling your bottom half higher. “What was it you said after your Baku win? Kevin Magnussen can…”

“...kiss my ass,” you panted, body tense in anticipation. The sheets rustled as he shuffled down the bed. His lips pressed against your left buttock before a sharp sensation zapped up your spine. You wriggled away from him, rewarding his antics with the sight of your cheeks jiggling.

“Did you just bite me?”

His hands wrapped around your ankles, yanking you back down towards him. The suddenness of the movement had your arms collapsing beneath you; your body and face landing on the mattress with a bounce.

“I didn’t say you could leave.” He took a moment to admire the reddening bite mark on your cheek. “You do have a spectacular arse.”

You turned your head to look at him but he had already ducked between your thighs. Your breath hitched when he pressed a kiss to your inner thigh. His cool breath hit your wetness when he laughed at you. His beard tickled your thighs when you attempted to close them around his head. His hands forced them apart.

“Behave yourself,” he warned.

“Or what?” You said, aiming for bravado. Unfortunately, the breathy tone in which it was said ruined that.

“Or I won’t do this.”

His tongue pressed against your slit, lapping at the wetness pooled between your thighs. He flattened his tongue, dragging it up towards your sensitive bud. A strangled gasp tore from your mouth at the unexpected contact. Kevin traced circles on your clit, suckling gently and taking pride in the way you bucked against him. Your hands twisted into the sheets, fighting to stop the moans from spilling out of you. Refusing to concede to him, to let him know how much he was affecting you.

“Come on, min skat. Let me hear you,” he grumbled against you, tongue dipping between your folds as he feasted. Your thighs burned from where his beard rubbed against them.

Kevin sank a finger inside your heat. You writhed against the sheets, breath coming out in pants but refused to make a noise. Spurred by your silence, the Haas driver added another finger, curling them in the way he knew you liked. Your back arched off the bed, a curse leaving your lips. Kevin didn’t boast about his victory, just continued to ravage you like a man starved. If there was one thing that could erase the sting of a DNF, it was the way you cried his name as you approached the edge. Teetering on the precipice, your eyes snapped open when cold air hit you. His eyes twinkled as he sucked his fingers clean, aware of what he had denied you.

“You robbed me of a podium. Again. And now you’re denying me an orgasm.”

A cheeky grin took over his face as he clambered off the bed, taking in the sight before him. You lay completely bare, ready for him to take as he pleased. Turning on your back, you propped yourself up on your elbows. A small pout formed on your bruised and swollen lips.

“Take it off,” you demanded.

“As you wish.”

In one quick movement, Kevin whipped his t-shirt off, dropping it on the pile of your clothes at his feet. Your eyes roamed the broad expanse of his chest, lingering on his tattoo and trailing down to the strained fabric of his jeans.

“And those.”

“You’re bossy when you’re waiting to be satisfied.”

“You’ve not proven you can satisfy me yet.”

His eyes narrowed at you, even as his hands moved towards his belt. You arched your brow, feigning a picture of boredom. The rapid rise and fall of your naked chest gave away just how eager you were to watch him fully disrobe. Once he was bare, you shuffled to the end of the bed and pushed up onto your knees. Your arms wound around his neck, pressing your lips to his. You nibbled on his bottom lip, revelling in the moan he let out when your tongue brushed against his.

You managed to spin the two of you, pushing him down so that he was seated on the edge of the bed. Climbing into his lap, you connected your lips again, trailing down to the underside of his jaw. Sinking down on him, both of you moaned at the feeling of your slick walls enveloping him. His hands came up to grasp your hips but he didn’t move you, allowing you to adjust to his size. Your eyes fluttered shut before your hips began to rock back and forth.

“For a man so inadequate on track,” you started, voice husky. “you don’t do a bad job between the sheets.”

Before he could reply, you raised your hips before dropping back down on him abruptly. The air was knocked out of him and a strangled grunt spilled past his lips when you repeated the harsh action.

“Fuck.” His grip on you tightened, fingers digging in. “You turned into me. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you wanted my attention.”

He sucked in a harsh breath when your nails dug into him. Your pace never faltered. Your breasts bounced as you rode him. Kevin leaned forward, taking one in his mouth. His tongue flicked across your nipple.

“You talk a lot of shit for a man who’s never won a race.”

A yelp tore from you when his teeth clamped down around your nipple, and the rhythm of your hips stuttered.

“Almost there. Come on. Just a little longer for me, love.” Kevin begged.

Your hips stilled immediately, denying yourself the pleasure you’d been chasing. It was worth it for the look on Kevin’s face.

“What did you say earlier about me not being that good?”

Humour replaced the confusion on his face as he realised that you were punishing him for his harsh words during the post-race interviews. Triumph was written across your face and he couldn't wait to wipe it off. He pulled you to his chest, arms tight around your back and flipped the pair of you. You bounced slightly, head landing on the plush pillow. Gripping both your wrists in his hand, he pinned your arms above your head. You looked up at him with wide eyes, struggling against his hold.

“Feel this?” Kevin whispered, pressing himself against your thigh. “You know just how good you are.”

With his free hand, he guided himself in you, inch by inch. He didn’t allow you to adjust to the new position before thrusting into you, slow and deep. An intimate pace to contrast your previously frantic one. He lifted your leg, bringing it to rest above his hip, allowing him to hit that spot deep inside you. You cried out, hands sliding into Kevin’s hair and pulling him close. He allowed himself to fall against you, pressing you into the mattress.

“This okay?”

”Yeah.”

His head fell to the crook of your neck, beard tickling your skin. Whispers filled the space between you.

”Good girl. You’re taking me so well.”

He continued his slow pace, each thrust hitting deep inside you. Your stomach bulged from the thickness of him bruising your walls.

“Look how beautiful you are wrapped around me.”

Soft moans and sighs filled his ear, the melody of your pleasure. A loud groan tore from Kevin’s throat when he felt you clench around him.

“You gonna cum for me, sweetheart?”

He picked up his pace slightly, hand reaching up to palm your breast. His thumb brushed over your nipple as you barrelled towards your end. Your back arched off the bed, breasts brushing his bare chest as you came with a cry of his name. The feeling of your warmth hugging him tight pushed Kevin over the edge. With one harsh thrust, his teeth sank into your shoulder as he spilled himself inside you.

~

Head resting on his chest, you listened as his heart rate doubled in pace. His arms tightened around you, pulling you closer into his side as if he feared you would run from him. Even if your legs weren’t shaking, you’re not sure you’d want to.

“I told you we’d do this again.” Kevin murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“I don’t know why you sound so proud of that.”

“Maybe I like doing this with you.”

“Yes, well I like winning races but we can’t all get what we want.” There was no bite to your comment, only friendly teasing.

Kevin’s fingers traced patterns along your thigh, relaxing your body. Your eyes drifted closed, a soft hum coming from you. He sensed your sleepiness, wondering if approaching the topic in your content state would be easier.

“Would you still do this with me if you weren’t angry at me?”

“Huh?”

“This started as hate sex, right? But, what if there wasn’t any hate in it. I don’t mean to run you off the track. You just seem to be there when things go wrong.”

“So it’s my fault?”

“No, no, no. That’s not what I meant. I mean, you are distracting but… I want to spend time with you. Outside of this room. Outside of the track.”

Silence filled the room. His heart pounded so hard in his chest that you had to move away; the sound echoing in your head. At your movement, his arms went slack around you, preparing himself for the rejection.

“I’m still mad at you…” you started, feeling bad when his face fell, “…but, I’ll let you take me out for breakfast and we’ll see how it goes.”

The only response you had was a blinding smile, your back being pressed into the mattress once more.

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kevinmagnussen just posted

liked by hulkhulkenberg, charles_leclerc and others

kevinmagnussen jeg elsker dig (yes, we get along when we’re away from the paddock)

7,884 comments

yn_ln i love you too (but we only get along when you’re kissing my ass, not talking shit) 

yn_ln yes, ladies, the rumours are true. so just remember those arms belong to me now when you’re thirsting about them online. i see you

→ user oh god. she’s turned the energy she reserves for hating on k mag onto us

→ yn_ln no, he still gets it as well

alexandrasaintmleux okay but these are quite cute 

georgerussell63 crikey. i’m not sure the two of you pairing up is a good idea

→ yn_ln jiminy crickets! i’m not sure you commenting on my life all the time is a good idea

→ georgerussell63 you still mad about the powerpoint? 

→ kevinmagnussen she’s complained about it twice in the past hour 

landonorris did you let kevin stand in front so that he would look taller? 

→ kevinmagnussen new target acquired

→ landonorris shit

→ haasf1team kevin, no

mercedesamgf1 i think the pr team might’ve liked a heads up

→ kevinmagnussen i was told she wasn’t talking to them 

hulkhulkenberg finally. i was getting fed up of hearing you talk about her 

→ kevinmagnussen shut up, mate 

→ alex_albon she talked about him too

→ yn_ln alex! 

→ alex_albon i’m sorry but i’ve been waiting for you to admit this for months. i’m just happy that you’re happy 

user i knew that the pic in her spanish gp dump was kevin!

(Bonus)

haasf1team just posted

liked by yn_ln, hulkhulkenberg and others

haasf1team cooling off 🧊

5,879 comments

yn_ln be right back. making this my lock screen

yn_ln take this down. i can’t have other people catching onto what i’ve known all along! 

user is he looking at hulk or yn in that first pic? 

→ haasf1team yn. they shared

→ hulkhulkenberg i was kicked out

→ yn_ln i told merc to let you use mine!

→ user can’t be an ice bath when they’re both in there 🥵

user i don’t blame yn actually. i’d let him ram me off the track if he looked like that 

→ yn_ln didn’t really have a choice in the matter, love

user kevin magnussen. i was not familiar with you in that way 

→ yn_ln now make yourself unfamiliar 

user yn wasn’t joking when she threatened us on kevin’s relationship post

→ user girly is fighting these comments so fast

→ yn_ln back, i tell you 🤺 back

kevinmagnussen @/mercedesamgf1 she escaped again

→ mercedesamgf1 thank you. we’ll be revoking her social media rights again

→ yn_ln but you’re still a traitor

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Requests open

Tag list

Only includes those who requested a Part 2 as I don't know who is comfortable with consuming this content

@steamy-smokey @1800-love-me @suckerforoldermen @dying-inside-but-its-classy

[oval3000]

Chapter 2

Yandere Psych Patient König x Nurse Reader

Warning: Possesive, Obsession, Death, Gore, Blood, Smut, Toxic behavior, age gap.

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

(This story might suck idk)

-------------------------------------------------------

Jacob slammed one of the medicine drawers close after getting the bottle of pills from a specific patient. "I don't know what miracle came down here, but we haven't had an accident in a month." He said to a fellow nurse standing next to him.

"Don't jinx it," she said grabbing the pill bottle from his hands.

"You know," he stared at your section, watching as you typed what you needed into the computer," ever since she started working here, König hasn't bashed anyone's heads."

"Well it's only been a month since she started working here, I wouldn't be relieved yet." She said, popping two pills into a Dixie cup.

"Yeah well I'm very optimistic about this." He got up and walked away. "Oh if the drawer gets stuck again, just bang on it a few times."

"It would be better if they just get new ones," she sighed, walking away towards her row of patients.

He rolled his eyes, "please they're too stingy to buy new bed sheets."

You have been working here for a month and so far everything was okay. You do what you need to do and things go smoothly.

As for König, he hasn't said or do anything towards you. You honestly felt like they were fooling you by telling you all those stories about his past nurses and guards.

You learned more about the staff names on all floors. König's two guards are named Eli and Gabriel. They both make sure that nothing happens to you aswell as any other staff.

You met Dr. Smith. You first impression of her was a little stiff. Mainly because she was direct and serious. She doesn't really make small talk to any of the nurses only the administrator. She also doesn't really fond of you. Well it's not like she hates you, is more of she critics anything you do. From the way you gather the medical supplies to the way you check patients vitals. During her visit with König, you stay outside the room so you don't know what goes on in there.

You saw when she exited the room alongside Eli and Gabriel, taking König back to his room. You didn't need to look up to know that Dr. Smith was walking towards, her heels made it obvious. "He will no longer take his usual calming medication, he'll take this one." She gave you the doctors order.

"benzodiazepines?" He was fine with his usual one.

She looked at you with her eyebrows forward "Yes. Is there a problem."

"Wouldn't the short term use cause him more problems compared to how he is now. I mean, he's been doing good lately and his oth-'

"Are you a doctor (Y/n)?" She tilted her head as she gives you a serious stern look.

"No."

"Right, I call shots for what is good for my patients. So if I tell you to order his new medicine then you order his new medicine! Is there a problem!?" Her high pitch tone caused the other nurses to look at you.

You look around mentally slapping yourself in the face. Of course she knows more than you, you are just a nurse. "No, Dr. Smith. I'll order them asap."

"Good. Make sure that his primary physician knows about it too and next time you question me, go back to school to get a lab coat. You are a nurse, you do what I say."

She left leaving the echo of her heels scraping the white tile floors. You cursed under your breath while picking up the phone. Calling in orders for prescription is a pain in the ass. Well the hospital it is, you're not familiar with a psychiatric hospital. The last thing you need is to be at hold for three hours trying to get it through.

"We need medical attention at room #526!" You heard Eli. You quickly ran to König's room and saw Gabriel on the floor, holding his mouth as blood was coming out. You turned your head to take a look at König. He was standing there with blood on his nuckles. He's tall, you never got a good look on how tall he was. This man is a mountain an actual mountain.

"What happened?" Jacob entered in seeing the mess.

"I need gauze pads and bandages.' You said holding onto Gabriel. König saw as you attended him. You're his nurse not Gabriel's. You should be attending König not him. The other guards came in to help Gabriel getting up while the others trying to hold König down. Jacob came in with the medical tray. He flicked a needle, trying to get any air bubbles out. You got up as they took Gabriel out, "what are you doing?"

"Everytime he does this, we have to put him down" He made his way towards König while two other guards were trying to hold him down. Compared to the guards themselves they looked like little children against König.

You went in front of Jacob, "You don't have to do that. It will make him think more irrationally. Please he is my patient."

He lowered the needle down giving you a sigh, "Fine. I'll go make a report. But you still can't be here unless two guards are present."

"Okay." The two guards let König's arms go.

Eli and Jacob left to talk to the administrator. You picked up the gauze pads and bandage from the trey.

You haven't made eye contact with König. You've always been too nervous about that, but you had to see him to examine him. You saw him, you saw his face. He had stuble. His features are strong and sharp, his jawline looks like it can cut anybody. He had scars on his face one through his mouth and the other one through his eye. His eyes are blue a nice clear blue, which stood out against his dark under circles. He was probably the most handsome patient you have ever seen. No, not patient, the most handsome men you have ever seen.

You walk towards him, slowly. You looked up to him, your face aligned to his torso . His white t-shirt was snuged and hugged all his curves on his abdomen. You can see the outline of his perfect abs and chest area. His biceps make it look the arm holes of his shirt are going to pop open. His hair was a perfect shade of brown, almost golden. Like before, it wasn't long or short, it was a good length, enough to make a little lazy ponytail.

You stuck out your hand as he placed his on top of yours. Your hand looks barley visible compared to his. You took a peace of gauze and dabbed it on his bloody nuckle. He didn't have any wounds from the punch he gave grabriel. If anything, the blood you are wiping away is Gabriel's.

König stared at you. He saw how concentrated you are with him, how gentle you are with him and how carring you are to him. The fact that you stood up for him from getting sedated, it was a like a call for him that you are his officially.

I mean he did it for you. No one knows the other half the story, they always accuse of the one that looks guilty. When Eli and Gabriel went to take him back to his room, König heard the comments they made about you. All the comments made by Gabriel.

Sure, Gabriel is nice to you, but he looks like a jerk and he is one. He's nice to you, but behind your back he thinks you are an object. Talking about how he wants to take you, not for a date, but for a nice dinner so that he can fuck you later in his car and most likely never talk to you again afterwards...unless he's desperate for sex again

König couldn't let that slide. Talking about you like a sex toy. Talking about you like you don't have emotions. Yes, König has killed men and women that don't really deserve it, but you. Someone that stood up for him. That attends when he needs or wants something. He wanted Jell-O during lunch, but no one was giving him one. Then you came inside the dining room and saw that he didn't have Jell-O like the rest so you gave him one. It's like you read his mind. You don't deserve to be treated this way. It reminds him of himself when he was a kid.

Being bullied for just being nice, for being who he is. He wants to protect you that's all he wanted to do. So he punch Gabriel after hearing his plan to seduce and fuck you then leaving you alone for yourself without a care in the world. He was easy, just one punch and he was down on floor holding his bloody mouth.

You cleaned him up and sat him down on his bed. He wanted to grab your waist and pull you closer to him. To kiss you as a thank you.

He was never lucky with the women, who would be with someone who's a looser. He remembers the time in high-school when girls will ask him out only to laugh at his face when he thought they were serious. Before he left to go to the military he met a girl. The girl just wanted some free drinks so she talked into him for some free stuff. He lost his virginity to her and felt as if he found the one. But to her he was her wallet, a way to get free things and rides for her and her friends. He bought her flowers, teddy bears, chocolates. Took her out to romantic dates that he tried so hard to assemble. Only to walk in on her having sex with another men, in his bedroom on his bed in his place that he pays for. He hoped that she was just drunk or scared..maybe, but no.

"Seriously König, you thought that I cared about you? I mean you are not even good at sex. I was just using you for the free stuff. I just wanted free drinks jeez! It's not my fault you couldn't take a hint."

He saw how they both laughed at his face. How they both just sat there naked, laughing at him as if he was the punchline to a joke.

"Believe me I never wanted this to happen! Especially after getting that dam abortion. But it doesn't matter cause you paid for it."

She wanted money to buy a new dress. She used it to have an abortion. He felt tears running down his face. They didn't feel bad, no, they laughed harder at him at how pathetic he was.

"Why would I even be with a looser."

He remembered how those kids would push him down the slide. How they would rip away his comic books. How they broke everyone one of his toys.

"Looser!"

"Looser!Looser!"

his fist turned white, he felt his fingernails, cutting deep into his palm. The girl he thought was the one was taunting him along his boy toy. He walked up to them. They expected him to bawl like a baby and beg for an apology. Instead, he choked her. His hands gripped tight around her neck. He felt some punches coming from her boy toy, telling König to stop, to let her go.

He saw as the life of her eyes went away. He heard as her neck cracked and dropped her back on the bed. He turned the guy, choking him to death aswell.

He hid the bodies, ran away, joined the military and found a new way to live.

You heard other male voices coming from the elevator and the administrator coming in. "What happened!?"

"He attacked Gabriel." You said to him, you saw what was behind him, other doctors.

"Put him in a straitjacket." He pointed to König

"What no!" You said getting in between him and König.

"Excuse me!?"

"Putting him in a straitjacket isn't going to solve anything."

He crossed his arms while looking down at you "Doing nothing will solve nothing, (Y/n)!"

You turned to König who had a stoic expression "I know, but I'm sure there are oth-"

"What are you again, (Y/n)?" he blurted out.

You knew where this is going. Twice in one day, you wanted to crawl into a hole and die. "A nurse."

He gave you a small smirk, the same one Dr. Smith gave you. "Exactly. A nurse. I'm your superior, you don't get to tell me what to do. Your job is to take his vitals, and give him medication not to throw orders around! Do I make myself clear!" He stepped closer to you. You wanted to back away, but you felt frozen. He was directly infront of your face. "Now, move aside so we can our jobs!"

You looked down on the floor. You never felt so light headed as you did now. The other voices coming from them were echoes. You felt nausea and sweating. Your heart felt like it was pounding from your chest, but it sounded like a blur. "S-sorry.. sir." You always feel week when people yell at you.

"Next time you do something like that, you're out of here, (Y/n). " He said as you all watched König being put in a straitjacket.

The administrator, Ben, saw König. He was taken back a bit. The look he gave him. As if he was killing him right on the spot. König no longer had the stoic expression, he gave him a death stare.

Who does he think he is to yell at you for being nice to him. To threatened her. They are all the same. Everyone here is all same. The same kids that shoved him around the boys bathroom when he was 10. The same as those girls that laughed at him that laughed at his face.

But instead of him being the victim, is you. You're so weak and innocent, how can someone treat you like that.

But it's okay because you'll have König by his side. He'll make sure to save you.

To care for you.

To love you.

To make you his.

[holylulusworld]

Unworthy (2)

Summary: Thor doesn’t think you‘re a good friend to his brother.

Pairing: AU!Thor Odinson x fem!Reader, AU!Loki Laufeyson x fem!Reader (platonic/best friends)

Warnings: past addiction, mentions of drug abuse/addiction (Loki), angst, classism, Thor being an ass, BBF trope, mentions of spiked drinks

Catch up here: Unworthy (1)

Unworthy masterlist

“Stop her then, son. If she told you the truth, we should find out more about what happened,” Odin feels like he just threw his daughter out of his house. “I shouldn’t have listened to you. Why did I not double-check your information.”

“Husband, not now,” Frigga places her hand on Odin’s shoulder. “Do not make another mistake. Maybe she is innocent, but we need to investigate further first. Thor, follow her. She’s the best source of information.”

“Right,” Thor huffs but turns to follow you. “I’m not sure she told me the truth. Some people have the ability to sell you any lie.”

Thor walks away to follow you. He easily catches up on you with his long legs and determined steps. “Wait—” He calls your name. It’s more an order than a request.

You move toward the exit, ignoring Thor walks next to you. “I said wait.”

“What else do you want to accuse me of?” You stop for a moment to glare up at Thor. “Maybe I sold drugs to Loki, huh? Maybe I was the one getting him addicted. Just leave me alone, Odinson.”

“If the guy spiked your drink there should be a police report…right?” He cocks a brow. Thor is not as good as his father at reading people, but he can see the fear in your eyes when the memories of that night come back.

“My friend called the cops after bringing me to the hospital. I gave a statement, and they promised me that he wouldn’t get away with what he did to me. I believed them,” you laugh bitterly.

“What happened?” He steps closer to tower over you. Thor is intimidating, with his sheer size and figure dwarfing you, but you won’t cower in front of him.

“What always happens,” you shrug and try to balance the box in your hands at the same time. “He came from a good family with old money. My words against his. I was the outsider allowed to walk their holy halls because of a scholarship.”

“That’s awful,” Thor sucks in a breath. If what you’re telling him is true, he understands that you always despised him, the golden son having it all. He never had to work for anything.

“It didn’t matter that my friend, the doctor, and the nurse gave a statement too. They tried to pressure me into taking my statement back, but I refused,” you sniff, and look away. “I didn’t matter, though. He got away with it because his parents knew the right people. Suddenly my test results were gone, and the guests at the party didn’t remember shit. I was lucky to not lose my scholarship. If we are done here, I’d love to leave this shitty place.”

Thor doesn’t stop you when you walk away from him. He has a lot of information to stomach. Thor hopes you’re just a good liar, and he was right about you. But he has a hunch that every word you said was true.

“That’s all, huh?” Hela looks up from her laptop to glare at Thor. He thumbs through the papers and pictures on Hela’s desk. “You didn’t find more?” He asks.

“Stop nagging,” she snaps at him. “You should thank me instead of moping. I got the statement from her friend and the doctor. The nurse withdrew her statement right after she bought a brand-new car.”

“Sounds fishy,” Hogun grumbles. It wasn’t in his plans to sneak around your apartment and follow you around town. “I don’t think the sweet girl is a criminal mastermind. All she did was to buy groceries and look for a new job.”

“Hey, it’s still my turn,” Hela glares at Hogun. “We wanted to talk about her past before we get to the present and future. A shame I didn’t get the chance to interrogate her.” She smirks at her brother. “I bet the sweet girl would’ve been putty in my hands.”

Thor curls his upper lip. “What did you find out?”

Hela leans back in her chair and crosses one leg over the other. She takes her time to inform her brother.

“I found more questions than answers. But I can tell you that the guy spiking Y/N’s drink is a piece of shit. Over the years his parents tried to cover all the shit he pulled. Luckily, they did not succeed. He crossed one too many lines and they turned their back on him.”

“Interesting,” Thor grabs one of the pictures taken at the hospital. You look scared and his heart hurts seeing the tears run down your cheeks. “Anything else?”

“No well done from you?” She huffs. “Always the same with you and father.” Hela snaps at her brother. “I tried to talk to his parents, but they refused to talk about the incident with Y/N. If you ask me, their son did exactly what Y/N said.”

“Says who…?” Thor questions. He’s still not convinced that you told him the truth and that you are innocent. If so, he’d be the worst person ever for ruining your career and friendship with his brother.

“How is he? Where is he?” You pant heavily as you try to find Loki. “Duke, where is he?” You ask Loki’s sponsor. “Duke!”

“He’s in a bad condition,” Duke’s features soften at your worried look. You’re out of your mind because Loki’s AA sponsor called you in the middle of the night. What if Loki is relapsed or is injured?

“Did he have a relapse?” You clasp your hands together to silently pray Loki didn’t do anything stupid because of what happened. “Duke?”

“No,” Duke shakes his head. “He needs you. Loki asked for you the whole time. I didn’t want to call you, but he wouldn’t stop. He’s vulnerable, Y/N.”

“I need to see him.”

“Loki’s inside my office,” Duke gently pats your shoulder. “Take all your time, Y/N. If you need a ride home, I’ll drive you.”

“Loki?” You walk inside the office, heart lurching in your chest. Loki sits on the ground. His long legs stretched out, and his head hanging. “Darling?”

“Y/N,” he murmurs but doesn’t look at you. Loki believed you gave up on him. Thor, his father, and Frigga didn’t tell him the whole truth. When one of your co-workers told him that you got fired and showed him the pictures Loki knew, Thor did this to you to get you out of his life.

“Hey, beautiful,” you sit down next to Loki and wrap one arm around his shoulders. “How’s my pretty boy tonight?”

“Not good,” he leans his head against your shoulder and sighs. “I almost fucked up again, Y/N. I was bad tonight. I…I…” he sniffles and wrings his hands. “I almost bought the poison.”

“Did you buy it?”

“No.”

“Good. See, you’re stronger than you thought,” you peck his hair. “I knew you could do it, Loki.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about your job and my brother?” He murmurs. “I could’ve helped you.”

“Your brother is an asshole, you know that” you try to cheer Loki up while your world still lies in ruins. “He tried to find something to hold against me and succeed. It’s not the end of the world to lose a job, darling. I’ll find something soon.”

“Hmmm…” Loki thoughtfully hums. “Maybe I can lend you some money.”

“I got spared money, Loki. I’m not your friend because of your money, darling.”

“You are my friend because of my good looks, right?” Relieved that you are not angry at him for the things his family did, Loki sighs.

“I’m your friend because I love you, darling,” you pat his thigh. For a moment you are both silent. “So, you came here for a meeting?”

“Three,” he says. “I’m sorry Duke had to call you.”

“I told you a long time ago that you can always call me, Loki. Day or night,” you softly say. “Did you eat today, darling?”

His growling stomach answers your question. “Not much,” Loki admits. “I wasn’t in the mood for food.”

“That was the most awful rhyme I ever heard,” you laugh. “Come on, darling. I’ll take you home and we can eat my leftovers.”

“You want to take me home?” He purrs. “You can’t wait to get your hands on me, huh? I bet you waited for me to call.”

“You’re a little bitch, Loki Laufeyson.”

“I love you too, Y/N…”

You watch Loki’s chest rise and fall. Still worried about your friend you didn’t leave his side.

Finally at peace after hours of suffering and self-hatred, he sleeps peacefully on your bed.

He greedily stuffed your leftovers into his mouth and even burped because you wanted him to eat dessert too.   

You talked for half the night, assuring him that his father and brother can do whatever they want to. You will stand by Loki’s side. Whether they like it or not.

“If you don’t stop yelling at me I’ll hang up,” you snarl into the phone. “I only called to tell you that Loki is safe and didn’t have a relapse. He’s asleep and I’ll drive him home after he had breakfast.”

Thor yells into the phone. He throws profanities at you while his sister watches him with amusement. She chuckles and listens to your explanation. “Thor, calm down. She took good care of him.”

“You don’t have a say in this,” Thor grunts. “She gets fired and then…” He growls and grunts while you listen to his rant.

“Are you done?” You ask. “I’m going to hang up now. I don’t want to wake Loki. He needs his sleep after everything he’s gone through last night. If you need to know more, ask his sponsor who called me, knowing I’ll be the one getting Loki out of the hole he fell into once again.”

You hang up, already regretting that you called Loki’s family. All you wanted to do was make sure they won't worry all night because he didn’t come home.

You harrumph and walk back inside your living room to switch through the channels. Sleep is out of the question after the call. Thor once again made you furious, and you hate the feeling.

Next time he dares to show his face, you’ll knee his balls and give him a piece of your mind…

Part 3

Tags in reblog.

[simplyholl]

Out of My System Pt 2

Summary: Loki doesn’t understand Thor’s attraction to Midgardians. Until he meets you.

Pairing: Avenger Loki x F Reader

Warnings: Smuttish thoughts. 18 + Only. Minors DNI. Eventual smut.

W/C: 1K

See my Masterlist here

Part 1

Summer was finally here, and you couldn’t be happier. You basically lived outside when you weren’t training or on a mission. You went shopping with Natasha and Wanda earlier in the week.

They convinced you to buy the skimpiest bikini you had ever seen. It was made of small scraps of red fabric that barely covered anything. You had protested that it was too revealing. But Natasha had talked you into it. She said you could just wear it around the compound. You had to admit, it did look amazing on you.

She was a bad influence, you decided as you look at yourself in the mirror. Most of your teammates were gone on a mission, so you thought today would be the perfect time to wear the barely there bikini.

You looked out your window and saw Loki sitting by the pool. His dark curls were mostly contained in a low bun. He was beautiful. There was no denying that. Sometimes you thought he had caught you looking at him a little too long. But he never mentioned it. You were sure he would tease you with a cheeky comment about it if he did.

You hurried down to the kitchen, grabbing two popsicles. One for yourself and one for Loki. You walked over to him, leaning down to give him the cold treat.

Loki had looked forward to the Summer. Thor had told him how the men would host a competition to see who was the best on the team when the new season started. He couldn’t wait to prove he was immensely better than all of them. What he didn’t take into account was your wardrobe.

It hadn’t bothered him at first. The other women dressed similarly to you. But he didn’t notice them, the way he did you. Then came last weekend when everyone had a picnic outside for some team building thing Tony came up with.

You were wearing a dress that moved up your thighs when you sat down. Your cleavage was on full display, and he knew the others were sneaking glances. He hated that he noticed. He hated that he wanted to rip their throats out because of it. He was becoming quite territorial when it came to you. He had no right to be. You weren’t his. You never would be.

The dress wasn’t the worst offender either. You owned one article of clothing that barely contained your ass. He finally worked up the nerve to ask Wanda what in the nine realms you were wearing. She called them booty shorts. A fitting name he decided. He was sure he would have to spend the rest of the season on Asgard for reprieve.

Now here you were, running up to him practically naked. He hungrily gazed at your body as you settled in beside him. He opened his snack trying to distract himself. But it was pointless. The sticky blue juices from your popsicle ran down your chin onto the swell of your breasts.

He watched as you sucked the treat into your mouth swirling your tongue around it, collecting the juices. You swallowed and Loki released the shaky breath he didn’t know he was holding. The way you licked the popsicle made Loki think of how it would feel if that was his cock inside your mouth instead. That was something he shouldn’t be thinking of, not with you.

Sam who was running around the outside of the pool stopped dead in his tracks to watch you lick your fingers clean. That was it! Loki had enough. He stood up, pulling you with him.

Before you could say anything, you realized you were in Loki’s bathroom. A bathtub full of warm water was waiting for you. “Loki, what are we doing here?” He brushed a loose curl away from his face. “We were both getting so messy. I thought we could take a bath to clean up.”

“I can’t take a bath with you!” You laugh awkwardly, wondering what he was thinking. He steps into the tub settling in with his back pressed against the side. “We will keep our clothes on, darling. Unless you would rather we be naked.” He winks at you, that mischievous gleam in his eye making him impossible to resist.

You take his outstretched hand, and sit across from him. Your favorite thing about the private bathrooms in each Avenger’s rooms was that the bathtubs were big enough for multiple people. You reach for the cloth Loki had set out, but Loki grabs it instead.

“Allow me.” Loki tells you while pressing the warm cloth to your neck. He takes his time gently moving it down to your chest. He washes over the curve of your breast. You arch into him, feeling a little embarrassed. But it feels so nice to have his hands on you this way, the only thing separating you is the cloth.

His long fingers tug the bottom of the bikini top, cleaning the popsicle juice that gathered there. Your nipples harden from his touch, even though the water is warm. Your breath hitched. If he pulled on the top with a little more pressure, it would fall off you.

“Loki, Stark has prepared us a feast as reward for completing - “ Thor’s loud voice echoes off the walls as he flings the bathroom door open. You and Loki pull away from each other. The huge smile on Thor’s face is a dead giveaway that he thinks he’s interrupted something he shouldn’t have.

“So sorry, brother. I didn’t mean to intrude. You always lock your door when you have company. I assumed you were alone.” Thor glances from you failing to cover your barely clothed chest with your hands to Loki relaxing against the tub.

“I’ve never seen this much of you before, Y/N. My brother is very lucky indeed.” He stares at your cleavage one last time before he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively at the two of you. “Get out!” Loki shouts at him, the green glow of his seidr dancing in his hands.

Part Three

Tags (as always if you want to be added or removed let me know)

@lokisgoodgirl @fictive-sl0th @lokidbadguy @ozymdias @cindylynn @potter-puff007 @cakesandtom @eleniblue @muddyorbsblr @marygoddessofmischief @coldnique @mochie85 @goblingirlsarah @lokisninerealms @wheredafandomat @peaches1958 @xorpsbane @freegardenbanananeck @chantsdemarins @lokidokieokie @anukulee @sheris532 @multifandom-worlds @lokixryss @javagirl328 @assemblingavenger @lilibet261 @lemonadygirl @joyofbebbanburg

[cowbok]

Character Analysis on: Narinder (The One Who Waits)

Where we try to analize what really drove Narinder to betray the bishops of the Old Faith in the first place.

As a warning, the game leaves a lot to interpretation so a lot of gaps here and there will be filled with some theories and headcannons but you're welcome to ignore that and just take the pure analysis!

Alrigthy, lets begin!! (Rambles below)

He who lays a soul to rest...

But before we can talk about the time he was a God, we need to talk about the time before the red crown sat upon his brow.

We need to see the time when he was a mortal. As we know, all gods in COTL were once mere mortals, ascended by the power of the crowns.

This is the part where i mostly play with some headcannons so feel free to jump to the next tittle.

Before Godhood.

Now, we know Narinder is a black cat. This is one of the things that make his design so attractive. The god of death is a black cat and he has all the mysticism and mythology of this kind of cats attached to it. It's a great design!!

The thing is, before godhood, Narinder was STILL a black cat, without his god status, he was subjected to the whim of the mortals. And we now our dark furry friends don't have the best reputation...

This is mostly headcannon, but i think Narinder as a mortal had a pretty bad time. Everytime something went wrong in whatever village or place he was, he was quickly the first one to be accused, shunned out and despised. Seeing as a omen of bad luck and death himself, he could never find a place to call home.

We know the devs used the lamb as their main critter because lambs were one of the prefered animals to use as sacrifices for gods. But you know black cats are ALSO sacrificial animals?

Have you ever seen those PSA in halloween were it will say things like "If you have a black cat as a pet, please take care of it. Weirdos at this time of the year kill black cats for their weird ass rituals" or stuff like that?

Well, with this i mean that cats like Narinder, their blood was not even worthy to be spilled in the name of the gods... But in the name of demons or other kind of bad spirits...

Heck that must suck.

I know the game itself never gives us an indicative to say that black cats or any other kind of critter faces discrimination. But the only thing i have to defend this theory of mine is Forneus!

We all know sweet ol' Forneous. Cute shopkeeper, mother of Aym and Baal. Sweetest thing but have you noticed she never stays in the same place for too long?

We have a lot of NPC's we can find during crusades but that they also have a place where thay stay mostly and call home. Think of Plimbo, Midas, Sozo, Ratau and his friends.

"But Boku! There are other NPC's that are only found in Crusades and don't have another place where we can find them!" While yes but that's because those NPC don't have neither of this 2 characteristics:

1. They play a part of an important mechanic (Like selling seed, followers, teaching us new things, etc)

2. They have some kind of lore relevance

If an NPC doesn't play part of a game mechanic like fishing, or have a bit of lore to them, then why would they need a place to stay where we can find them besides crusades? The thing is that Forneus has these 2 characteristics.

She's a shopkeeper and the only way we can find the little gifts, some blueprints, follower forms, and even gold! And she has lore relevance as the mother of Aym and Baal and (Alledgedly) one of the few followers of the One Who Waits before the Lamb started the cult.

Heck she's all done! She could have her own little shop at any of the locations of the game where you can go to buy things (Maybe even have a "trade" kind of mechanic) where we can get more gifts for the followers, collars, and etc.

But she doesn't! And that's weird! She doesn't seem like the kind of NPC that deserves the treatment of "It has only 1 gimmick and that's it".

So, unless there's something that keeps her from having here own very shop at a specific place and instead has to be always traveling, Always moving around...

That's just a theory, tho!!

Going back to Narinder, as a summary, he had a pretty bad time as a mortal. That until Shamura found him and he was bestowed the red crown. Narinder had finally found a family, a place to call home, and on top of that was granted the blessing of godhood!! Things were meant to go swell for our favorite wet cat, right.....

Right....?

During GodHood.

Now Narinder was the god of Death in training, what an honor!! It is said that the bishops we know were kind of around before the purge of the gods ocurred (Shamura was there, called "A young god of war" by the ancient tablets).

So, things are going well for your found family, you're enjoying your time with your spider sibling and squid bro, helping to raise up a little frog and a squiggly worm who are also meant to be crown bearers.

All goes well until BAM! The purge begins. We don't have information on how it happened, or what incited it. We just know it was the biggest bloodshed ever seen, leaving only the bishops we know as survivors.

Narinder was still quite young when this happened. He saw how gods that were supposed to be friends or family betrayed each other during this war. He saw that not even goodhod was truly eternal.

Shamura and Kallamar were old enough to not be as affected by it. Leshy and Heket to young to remember all the details. But Narinder? Narinder was at an age, as an infant god, to be deeply affected about what war meant, and the things, horrible things people are able to do to get atop of a power struggle.

But at least he has his family. He had the bishops. They would never do such a thing! They were brothers in arms, there was nothing they couldn't do together, they would never turn their backs on each other! There was nothing they couldn't understand.

And so, the years went by. The purge of the gods transforming more into a myth, no longer considered history to be told. Things were calm but...

Narinder noticed something that deeply worried him. Things were not fair between him and his brothers...

Never say his name.

Shamura, Kallamar, Heket and Leshy... They were loved, adored by the mortals.

Narinder?.... Narinder was feared. Every mithology in this world has always being a little to afraid to even speak the name of the gods of death outloud, fearing them more than they loved them. Think of Hades.

"The Greek god Hades was the lord of the underworld, which actually gave him more authority over maintaining the balance of the universe than nearly any other deity. Still, the Greeks greatly feared him and saw it as unlucky to draw his attention. To avoid saying his name, they often used epithets for Hades instead."

It wouldn't be to crazy to think Narinder was given a similar treatment by the mortals, considering HE was the BISHOP OF DEATH.

For Lamb sake, he's literally the ONLY BISHOP WHO USES A VEIL. He was so freaking feared, mortals couldn't even bare to see his face.

It must be hard, seeing your brother be showered in adoration, love, affections, and prays that elevate their names. While all you receive is fear, wails, and prayers that beg to keep you away...

It must be hard, to be a god. And yet, feel as unloved as you once did, when you were nothing but a little kid.

This, my brothers in Lamb. This is what incited that first spark of jealosy, that would later develop into something nastier, that would end in the fall of the Old Faith all together.

End of the Part 1.

That's it for the first part of this character analysis!! Bare with me because part 2 will come very soon!! Your bovine brother in lamb says bye for now!

https://www.tumblr.com/cowbok/752997791785189376/character-analysis-narinder-the-one-who-waits?source=share ----> Part 2!!

[auorafics]

Perv!SKZ- Part 1 (M)

Warning: Contains mature content. Readers discretion is advised. This is pure fiction and is in no way related to the actual idols. This is just a point of view

Pairings: OT8 x female!reader, perv!skz, perverted thoughts

Note: This is the beginning of 2 new series: The "Most To Least" series and the "Perv!skz" series. Requests are open

Word Count: 1K

MTL: Perverts among Stray Kids

Jisung

Felix

Hyunjin

Chan

I.N

Lee Know

Changbin

Seungmin

You can’t tell me Jisung isn’t the biggest perv out of the boys. The second he laid his eyes on you, your curvy figure in a short sundress, your floral perfume, your wavy hair was all he could think of. But that's what he’s complimented you on. What he didn’t tell you about was his gaze on your jiggly boobs, the small peeks at your pastel blue panties whenever you moved to cross your legs, and the tiny bulges at the top of your chest, when your nips hardened due to the cold. It didn’t mean much at the beginning, but as you grew closer and closer to him, his habits grew too. They grew to the point where he couldn’t spend a single day without wafting in your smell. He felt that his day was incomplete if he didn’t “accidently” brush over you from behind, or if he didn’t see your boobs bounce as you ran to him, excited to show him something. 

Whenever he is over at your place, he loves to sneak into your room to smell your freshly washed hair on your towel. He sometimes peeks into your bathroom to take a good look at it, so he could imagine seeing you in there when he gets off. Definitely steals a panty from your discarded clothes to sniff at as soon as he gets to his room. He has imagined you in all positions, both under and on him. And as much as he loves being with you, he can't wait to get back home and imagine them once again.

Felix would be the softest perv of them all. He would not be subtle with it though. You are giving him a hug, would hug you harder so he could feel your boobs squish onto his chest. If you are sitting beside him, he will pull you towards him by your waist and rest his head on your shoulder. Some of his actions might seem innocent, but his motive behind them is definitely not. For instance, when you are baking with him, he will purposefully dump flour on you so he can wash it off your chest later. When you give him a head massage, he turns around and places his head right on your breasts and pretends to fall asleep. But all he can think of is pulling your shirt down and sucking on your boobs, leaving red and purple marks all over. 

Felix has a thing for your neck. Whenever he sees your bare neck, he feels his cock get hard. His life’s goal right now is to make you sit on his lap and kiss your neck. He would love to see your neck covered with hickeys, like accessories. The dominant side of him would love to have a chokehold on your neck as he pounds into you

Hyunjin, though ranked at the top, would be very subtle with his actions. Maybe because he acts like that too often, it became a routine for you. Hyunjin, as the remarkable artist he is, asked you to be his “inspiration”, aka, model for him. So every weekend, you modeled for him at his art studio. At first, it was innocent. He made you hold onto a basket of flowers, made you sit on a stool for a portrait, etc. But one day, he told you he wanted to paint you as a ballerina. He even went as far as to buy a ballet dress for you. You thought it looked cute on you, until you lost balance while posing and fell face first, revealing your ass to him, as your tutu rolled up. Since that day, Hyunjin has made you wear different types of clothes, including one of a maid. Maybe it was a coincidence that most of the outfits he made you wear either had a deep neckline or a short length. Or maybe not. Whatever it was, you enjoyed modeling for him, so you continued

When you fell down with your ass in the air, all exposed to him, Hyunjin wanted more and more. So he kept buying short and revealing clothes for you. If by using modeling as an excuse he could see you in all the clothes he'd wanted, why would he say no. Even if you figured that out, he was confident that you would never find out how he peeks in when you were changing, stealing glances at your bare ass, the curve of your waist and the outline of your tits. 

Chan is the pervy but respectful guy. He had never, even in his wildest dreams, had thought that he would act like this. Especially towards his sister’s best friend. Whenever you used to come over, he would make up excuses of having to work downstairs or in his sister’s room, or wherever you were, only to stay closer to you. Typical big brother behavior. Well, that's what he had thought at first too. But as time passed, his perverted thoughts on you started to get out of hand. If you wear a skirt or dress around him, he will definitely take a few pics of your boobs and some underskirt pics. He tries to control himself till the breaking point but whenever you wear something a little too low from the top, especially when you pair it with his favorite perfume of yours, he loses it. He becomes a lot clingier, always trying to hold you and scoot closer to you to get one whiff of you. 

Once, when you were staying the night over at his place, he happened to see your perky nips through your flimsy tank top. Later in the evening, you bent down to pick up the remote, your ass was right towards Chan’s face. And your shorts did nothing to cover up your ass. That night, Chan thanked the universe that you and his sister fell asleep downstairs. He now had the entire upstairs to himself and he could be as loud as he wanted as he fucked his fist, imagining that it was your cunt.

[thegirlwiththeninjaturtletattoos]

-You're Mine-

Part 2

Part 1

Leonardo x f! reader

MINORS DNI NSFW CONTENT

Leo's in his thirties, written with bayverse in mind but can apply to any iteration (it has Rise F! Leo vibes for sure)

Tags: exhibitionist, smut, no plot, swearing, spanking, hair pulling, Dom Leo, rough sex, p in v

this is baby's first smut, so hopefully it's ok! sry lol but I hope y'all like it! I had fun writing it heheh

I think I’m going to open up requests for one-shots or head cannons and stuff after this so lmk if you want smthn or want to be tagged in future works

Oh, no. You'll have to pay for disobeying a direct order like that, Kitten. You know the rules."

Leo pulled your head to the side, exposing the skin at your neck. With a smirk, he bit and licked a slow, agonizing trail from your collarbone to your ear, pulling another whine from your throat as he left hickey after hickey on your tender flesh. You could feel the heat pooling in your abdomen, desperate for his touch and growing every second.

Leo could smell your arousal grow stronger as he continued his torment, and as he dragged his tongue over the shell of your ear, he let out a low chuckle.

“So... what do you think your punishment should be, darling?”

You were so horny you couldn’t think straight. He had driven you to the brink of madness, and the only thing that was keeping you secured to Earth was the slight feeling of cold from the windowpane in front of you. You searched for an answer, but your mind was blank.

He gave a light tug on your hair and spoke in your ear again, his voice growing husky with his own desire.

“I’m waiting.”

You bit your lip, biting back a moan that threatened to betray just how wet he was making you. The slick in your panties was threatening to overflow, your clit throbbing with how desperate you were becoming.

“I-ahh..Le-I..”

You had tried to answer him, but as soon as you spoke Leo bit into your neck again, licking and sucking at the skin so deeply that your eyes closed and the moan you had been holding back escaped.

Releasing your neck, Leo looked down at his work and grinned. The hickey you’d have later was definitely punishment enough for having started without him tonight, but for now he’d keep that little secret to himself.

“Sorry, Kitten. I didn’t quite understand you. Care to try again?”

You shook your head no.

“All right, then. Are you going to behave now?”

You nodded.

“Use your words, baby.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Good girl.”

Leo released your hair and arm, but did not let you move from the window. He remained behind you, hands running over your body and admiring the meal before him. He ran a finger under a bra strap and snapped it against your skin.

“Did you buy this for me?”

“Oh, uh, yeah. I thought you might like it, with the lace and all.”

He smirked.

“Oh, I do.”

Leo gripped the fabric of your panties and ripped them completely in half, tearing the lace off of your frame.

You yelped in surprise, heart racing but excited. He chuckled to himself and tossed the shredded underwear aside, and then turned back to you. There was a dark look to his eyes as he spoke.

“Hands on the window.”

The glass was cold to the touch compared to how hot your skin was. It felt good, but made you incredibly aware that you were very much exposed to the streets of New York should anyone happen to look up.

Leo undid your bra and let it fall to the floor, your nipples immediately hard as the cold from the night seeped through the glass. He ran his hands over your ass, squeezing and grunting low with approval as your taut flesh molded against his hands.

“Since you were so eager to put on a show earlier, how about I take over and help you out?”

He reached around your front and dragged a savoringly slow graze over your core. You could feel Leo's body tense behind you, and a low, appreciative growl escaped his lips.

"Fuck, Kitten. You're so wet."

He gently eased a finger past your folds, circling over your clit. With his other hand he gripped your breast, squeezing and rolling your tender nipple. You whined and arched against him, so incredibly sensitive to every sensation he gave you.

His breath was hot against your ear as he whispered, "You like putting on a show, baby?"

You could only moan in response, the intensity of his touch rendering you speechless. His fingers moved with deliberate, teasing strokes, building the tension within you. He kissed down your neck, his lips trailing fire as they went, while his hand on your breast continued its torturous play. Every movement, every touch, sent waves of pleasure coursing through you, making you crave more of his relentless attention.

Leo swept his thick finger over your clit again and plunged it deep inside your center as you let out a strangled cry, the pleasure incredible and overwhelming. You felt the familiar stretch around him as he withdrew and entered you again, pushing two fingers inside your aching core. Another filthy moan escaped you as you struggled to stay standing, lust fogging your brain. The wetness from your core gushed over his fingers as he fucked you with his hand, adding to the incredible sensations of his palm grinding against your clit. As he deliciously ground into you, Leo started talking into your ear.

"You're such a dirty little slut, aren't you? So wet, you thinking about what'd I'd do when I came home and found you?"

He twisted your nipple between his fingers when you didn't respond immediately, ripping another pained mewl from you.

"Y-yyes, ssi-ir."

"It was hot, watching you from across the street. But I couldn't believe how disobedient my little Kitten was, she couldn't even wait a few minutes."

He audibly tsk'd, and pulled his hand away from your dripping pussy. You felt him shift to the side as he lifted his fingers to your mouth, your slick glistening on his skin in the glow from the city lights outside. Knowing what he wanted, you opened your mouth reflexively and took his fingers as deep as you could, swiping them clean with your tongue. Leo's eyes were dark with want as he watched you.

"Touch yourself."

As you continued to suck on his fingers your hand trailed down to your core, your own fingers sweeping needy glides over your bud. The aching hunger began to build again, your clit throbbing with each pass of contact. Leonardo let out a low churr as you sucked on him, gagging against his knuckles. There was a wicked look to his smirk as he watched you choke on his hand.

He took his hand from your mouth and shifted behind you again. You moved your hand from your clit to return it to the window, but he growled in your ear.

"Did I tell you to stop?"

"I'm sorry, sir."

You continued teasing yourself, but as the ache grew it was harder to focus; Leo would not be happy if you came without permission. Looking out the window, you tried to distract yourself with the city skyline as you slowly drew closer. You were so focused, you almost missed the sound of Leo's pants hitting the floor.

"Oh, you're gunna be, Kitten."

Leo grabbed your hips and thrusted deeply into you, ripping a guttural wail from your throat. His hips pounded into you at a brutal pace, fully sheathing himself to the hilt with each stroke. His thick cock stretched you so tight it was almost painful, but it felt so fucking good.

Your hand still swirled against your nub, the arousal and pleasure coming in waves and threating to crash over you. As if he could read your mind, Leo grunted between slaps of flesh against plastron.

"Don't cum- until I tell you to."

You were so fucked-out, all you could do to respond was moan in ecstasy.

"Mmm-ahh-yy-"

Whap.

Leo smacked your ass again, this time hard enough to leave a nice, three-fingered red mark. You keened again, feeling more slick gush around his cock as he continued to ravage you.

"What was that?"

"Yy-yee-ess..ss-irr-"

"Say my name."

He shifted his hips slightly and thrust into you again, this angle somehow even deeper than before. Your head fell against the glass with a scream, your body practically pressed onto the cold pane for anyone to see. You didn't care, all you could think of was Leo. Leo Leo.

"Yy-es Leo," you choked out.

He picked up his pace, pounding into you harder and harder.

"Say it again, baby. I want to hear you beg."

You wailed against the glass, every thrust from Leo causing your sex to vibrate with pleasure. You were seeing stars. If he didn't let you cum soon, you were going to pass out.

Focus.

Your cries were wanton and hoarse as you summoned all the remaining braincells you had left to obey his request.

"Fu-ck yes, Leonardo. Pl-ease baby, plea-se fuck me-e. I n-need you, Leo."

His grip on your hips tightened, and you could feel his thighs start to shake against yours. As he came, you felt his white hot pulse shoot through your body, thrumming and buzzing in your veins. Still thrusting, he spoke through gritted teeth.

"Come for me."

Your release was intense as you finally let yourself go, the feeling of his cum dripping down your hand as you swirled over your clit sending you over the edge. Your vision started to blur as the pleasure enveloped you, your moans needy and languid. Leo continued to fuck into you, groaning into your shoulder as you clenched around him. You were both shuddering with pleasure, muscles shaking from exhaustion.

As you came down from your highs, he stopped his movements and pulled you both from the window. He laid down on the couch, draping you over his plastron. Leo lovingly moved your hair from your face as you looked at him. You smiled.

"What?"

"Nothing," he smiled back. His eyes were full of adoration and something else in the light, but it was too dark to tell. "I was just thinking that I should catch you misbehaving more often."

You both laughed, settling in to snuggle for a little while longer...or at least until you could walk again.

[ace-reviews]

WINTER 2024 ANIME RECOMMENDATIONS

I counted and there are 8.5 blonde ladies in either a lead or primary love interest role this season (8 if you count the one whose hair is sometimes black as half of one). Do what you will with this information. I only share it because it’s something that was ticking me off that I noticed.

Anyway, we’re trying out a new format this season: Instead of only recommending anime we’re not familiar with, we’re each picking one we are familiar with and one we went into completely blind.

ACE’S RECOMMENDATION #1: MR. VILLAIN’S DAY OFF

After the deluge of isekai that try to teach the importance of having a healthy work-life balance by having the lack of one kill off it’s main character in the first five minutes of the episode, it’s really nice to have something that teaches the same lesson by choosing to model what one looks like rather than killing anybody. It’s also got a lot of pandas in it, which is always nice.

ACE’S RECOMMENDATION #2: SENGOKU YOUKO

Satoshi Mizukami seemingly can’t catch a break with anime adaptations of his manga: Lucifer and the Biscuit Hammer sucked and this one is being seriously overshadowed by all the other really good and/or long-looked-forward-to adaptations this season. (Planet With was an anime first so it escaped the curse.)

Anyway, please watch this and have your friends watch this and buy the Blu–Rays and have your friends buy the Blu-Rays so my dream of a (good!!!) Spirit Circle anime can someday come true.

---

CHARLIE’S RECOMMENDATION #1: SOLO LEVELING

(for the sake of our more sensitive readers, actual screenshots of the anime cannot be shown at this time)

If you like Cheat System anime, and don’t mind “a bit” of graphic violence (read: so much. There’s just so much violence.) , give this a shot. It’s based on one of the Korean manhua that made the genre what it is today, and as far as I’m concerned, they’ve done a good job being faithful to their source so far - they didn’t even give them Japanese names, you guys.

CHARLIE’S RECOMMENDATION #2: A SIGN OF AFFECTION

(adorable)

It’s cute, and disability rep is always a bonus. I like how they animated the sign language, which seems fairly realistic to me, someone who speaks no sign languages.

---

FEN’S RECOMMENDATION #1: LOOKING UP TO MAGICAL GIRLS

This is a series I’ve been following since there were only five chapters out in the manga, so I would like to preface this recommendation by saying I’m the only one who’s actually right about it. I’m a veteran, a true soul who’s stuck with it for the past x years since it first released, and as such everything I say about it is valid and correct and anything people who aren’t as familiar with it says is complete horseshit pulled out of their ass. This is a factual statement.

Mahou Shoujo ni Akogarete, which has been translated for the manga as “Looking up to Magical Girls” (correct) and by vile HIDIVE as “Gushing Over Magical Girls” (bad and wrong) is a trashy, over-indulgent yuri series for weird perverts that is good, actually, (genuinely), and if the adaptation manages to capture Onanaka Akihiko’s remarkably deft hand in weaving the series’ fetish gags with the story’s genuine moments of pathos and surprising character depth then the anime will also be good, actually.

Dude trust me.

FEN’S RECOMMENDATION #2: METALLIC ROUGE

This is an anime original series about super fighting robots on Mars doing a hitman shit on android rebels for the government and also yuri, maybe. ACAB includes Rouge Redstar, watch this show.

---

BONUS RECOMMENDATIONS: DUNGEON MESHI AND ‘TIS TIME FOR “TORTURE,” PRINCESS

A recommendation to watch Dungeon Meshi is the most redundant thing on the planet this season, but even so you should still watch Dungeon Meshi. Also, Fen and I had a bit of a back-and-forth over who would recommend Torture Princess since it was something she was familiar with and something I had only heard of and I wasn’t going to recommend it because I thought she would and she apparently chose not to recommend it because she thought I was going to so take it as a recommendation both from someone who is and someone who isn’t familiar with Torture Princess to watch Torture Princess.

[half-oz-eddie]

You swore 💔

Part 1

Half socmed half fic where Steve gets more than he bargained for when he starts cheating on his girlfriend with the hot cashier from the boutique near his job. inspired by this post

18+

Part 2 -> Part 3 -> Part 4 -> Part 5 -> Part 6 ->

Read On Ao3

Everyone in town knew Billy Hargrove, the part time lifeguard at Hawkins Pool. Steve never expected to get up close and personal with this guy before learning he also worked at a small denim boutique near Family Video. 

Steve stopped in on payday to buy a new pair of jeans and spotted the hot lifeguard as he was folding some bootcut jeans. 

It was a small boutique, so only one employee was necessary, and it just so happened to be Billy. 

“Hey, welcome. Need some help?” He smiled, a strikingly charming smile. 

“Just looking.” Steve responded with a soft grin of his own, shopping around the boutique to find the perfect fit of jeans. 

He found a pair in his size, lifting them to examine them more closely. 

“Oh, you don’t want those.” Billy mentioned. 

“No? Why not?”

Billy set down the pair he was folding, approaching Steve. “Pretty boy like you should get a pair that hugs that ass just right, y’know? You don’t want anything loose and unflattering. The wrong fit could ruin your whole ensemble.”

Steve’s heart skipped a beat. Pretty boy? Did he just call him that and mention his ass? 

Now, Steve had yet to realize his admiration for attractive men was more than admiration. It took him being infatuated with Billy to learn this about himself. 

He let Billy select the perfect pair of jeans for him and he tried them on, looking at his ass in the mirror. 

“See? That’s what I’m talkin' about.” Billy gave a nod of approval. “If you’re happy with them, I’ll ring you up.”

“O-oh. Yeah. Sure.” Steve agreed to buy the pair and left that boutique shaking like a leaf. 

What really did him in was the way their hands briefly touched when Billy placed the receipt in his hand and asked him to come again. 

Steve took it as an invitation and did just that the following week. 

He walked in, deciding he suddenly needed a new shirt. What he really needed was another interaction with Billy. 

“Back again, Bambi?” Billy smiled as the new pet name rolled off his tongue.

Steve smirked and nodded, trying to avoid looking at Billy’s glistening, muscular arms in that lifeguard tank top and the sexy, messy bun his curls were tucked into. 

“I’m just here to buy a shirt.” Steve answered. “Any suggestions?”

“We have some cotton polos on the wall.” He pointed. “Those look good on you under your work vest.” 

There was that smile again. 

“You think so?”

“I know so. I’ve got an eye for that. Unless you wanna try something different?” He took a step towards Steve, closing the distance between them. 

Billy was the something different Steve wanted to try. 

He glanced down at Steve’s jeans, smirking at his hardly concealed bulge. “They look good on you. Show off all your assets.” They locked eyes as Billy bit his bottom lip. 

Steve could feel his body heating up, stupidly unaware of the face he made as his mouth hung open, drool nearly dribbling from the sides of his mouth.

“I uh…I’ve got something in the back you could try, but only if you’re interested.”

Steve pushed his bangs off his forehead, nodding without a second thought. He knew what Billy was implying. He wanted to try something new for sure. 

Billy locked the door and put a “Back in 30 minutes” sign in the window, then led Steve to the back room.

He pushed Steve against the wall, kissing his neck as he unbuttoned his jeans and slowly unzipped them. 

Steve’s entire body trembled as Billy made his way down to his cock, taking him into his mouth and sucking him like there was no tomorrow. 

Billy’s blue eyes stared into Steve’s soul as he slurped on his cock and Steve was in disbelief. 

He grabbed hold of Billy’s bun, bucking his hips and gently thrusting into his hot, wet mouth. 

“Oh…shit.” He whispered. 

This had to be a dream. It had to. He hardly knew this guy, but the amount of sexual tension between them was insane. There was no way he would have been able to go home and forget about him. 

If his cock wasn’t down Billy’s throat, he would be back home right now jerking it. He pushed the thoughts of Billy and his pretty smile away until he just couldn’t take it anymore. 

This was the most exciting, most exhilarating experience of Steve’s life. His cock hardened and swelled in Billy’s mouth and he moaned so desperately, like it’d been months since he had sex. 

He was only with Nancy 2 days ago, and yet, he couldn’t stop himself from craving Billy. 

“I’m gonna cum…ah, shit.” He spilled into Billy’s mouth, whining and shaking as he swallowed it all up, continuing to suck until there was nothing left. 

Billy slowly pulled away and looked at him. “Still need a shirt?” He asked, only to be answered with a small nod. 

Billy picked out a shirt for Steve and asked him to come again, but more demanding than last week. 

So Steve did return the following week, and the week after that. 

And each week they’d go into the back room and do something nasty that Steve could never do with Nancy. 

“You should come to my house.” Steve suggested in a whisper as his hand was wrapped around their cocks, jerking them together as they sucked each other’s tongues. 

“Oh yeah? What’ll happen if I come to your house?” Billy asked. 

“All kinds of stuff.” Steve smiled. “We’ll be all alone, just like we are now, except in my nice, comfy bed.”

“Can I spend the night with you, pretty boy?” Billy asked softly, moaning as his orgasm grew nearer. “Ride you til the sun rises?”

Steve knew it was risky, but one glance into those pretty blue eyes, and he was willing to risk it all. “Course you can, baby.”

“Mmm…gonna cum.” 

“Me too.”

They shared a kiss, one more gentle than lustful as they shared an orgasm. 

Steve knew keeping this up was a bad idea, but he didn’t have any idea how bad it would be until it went on for a little too long. 

Steve started inviting Billy over on days he knew Nancy would be too busy, which was a lot of days, but still risky as hell. Steve kind of liked how dangerous this was, but eventually he started to kind of like Billy, and his feelings were all mixed up in a mess. 

For 2 months, Steve and Billy were fucking and texting regularly, and when they cuddled after sex the last time, Steve knew he had to come clean with Billy before he got the wrong idea. 

The night before they planned to see each other again, Steve texted Billy, deciding to tell him the truth. 

It’s a small town. Steve just assumed Billy already knew about Nancy.

“Shit.” Steve said aloud, throwing himself onto his bed. “No. No. I gotta tell him.”

He didn't want to fuck this up. In all his years with Nancy, he never felt anything quite like what he felt with Billy, and he just didn't want to let that go.

That was Steve’s mistake. 

Steve had yet to learn how spiteful Billy was. And, oh, was he about to fucking learn. 

[blorbofrommyshows]

ok so when i said in the tags insert the that’s enough slices meme i really meant it

fun fact! I cannot cope :)

[aoharushiyo]

the recipes for... | track 1 — chocolate pudding

Translation: en Proofreading: aca, dimi, kimi, myun, jay, jelly

Content Warning: light jokes about death

PatiBattle is my life. A masterpiece containing the quintessential element, the character that gives meaning to my very existence— yeah, you heard that right: his name is Chiyoda Reito.

PatiBattle is my life. A masterpiece containing the quintessential element, the character that gives meaning to my very existence— yeah, you heard that right: his name is Chiyoda Reito.

---

"Come the hell on, if I don't get there soon, it might all be gone…!"

I was held back after school for ages by the teachers today. Some lecture about my behaviour in class or something. Stuff like my attitude being all over the place, or reading manga under my desk in class… But why today, of all days? Of course, I just had to run my mouth and say that I'd listen any other day, please let me off just for today… but that just ended up adding oil to the fire and I got held back even longer.

[ Next Restock TBA ] "…"

I flew into the anime shop I frequented and stopped in front of the display case for newly stocked merch. I hadn't been able to pre-order, so all the merch I wanted had all already been snagged.

"Seriously… I wish this would stop happening…"

And it's just my luck that I don't have any friends I can ask to buy merch for me.

"'Restock TBA'…? The very concept of this should fuck right off."

Student life may as well be slavery. Sure, pointing and laughing at the working class and calling them corporate slaves has been a thing since ages ago, but isn't being a student pretty much the same thing? At these places called 'schools', you're physically limited to what you can do, you're forced into doing club activities after school, and even once you get home, you've gotta do homework or chores… All that takes up a shit ton of time. Adults always overestimate the amount of free time we kids have.

"Fuck…!"

Despite all of that, somehow I'm making do with the little free time I have. Attending events, making shrines, exchanging official and blind box merch, buying out merch stocks[1], nui outings, birthday pilgrimages…

"Aah… my life has no meaning anymore… Just end me already…"

I just couldn't take it any longer. I stumbled out of the store, and, after sparing only a glance to make sure no one was around, started hitting my head against the wall, over and over. Over, and over, and over. I failed. I'm a failure. I'm sorry, Reito, I'm so sorry that I couldn't bring you home.

The theme for the acrylic standee set this time around was 'Training Camp - First Year, Winter ~Wedding Cake~'. A set that dressed every single character in exquisite bridal attire. Not being able to get something like that on the day of its release is absolutely unforgivable. I might as well just die.

The way back was freezing cold. The weather sucked ass, too.

---

Today, I decided to go home instead of returning to the dorms. Here, I can do whatever I want without anyone getting in my way.

"…Yeah, I guess it'll do."

My feelings of frustration needed some kind of outlet. All of the love I was so ready to shower on my new standee had to go somewhere, too — so I eagerly channelled it into something else.

"Aren't you looking pretty good now?"

I held up my apron, extremely pleased with the crooked rows of can badges and pins that covered its entirety. Naturally, the apron was in Reito's image colour. And right over the chest, where my new merch should have been, shone in its place a new, extra-large aluminium standee.[2] That's right. In this patisserie kitchen, we don't have ita-bags — we have ita-aprons, obviously.

"I've gotta finish this before Reito's birthday…"

I guess you could say it's like a way of measuring love. If this weight is the weight of my love, then even if it's heavy because of how many things I've slowly added to it, I can't get enough. I just can't get enough of the insanity of wearing it. Merch of Reito is in ridiculously high demand, so it's really not great for my wallet, but… I'm fine with that. Because only then does it feel like I'm giving up even my soul for Reito.

"Now then…"

Finally satisfied with my sparkling, gleaming rows of badges, I moved onto the next part of my daily routine — checking socials. After all, numerous new fanworks are being created every day.

"Searching for… 'PatiBattle!'…" With great enthusiasm, I searched for every single keyword that I could think of. 'Patissier Battle', 'Chiyoda Reito', 'ReiOu', 'Rei0u', 'ChocoPudding'…[3]

"Damn, this person's art is so good… wait— wait, they drew this!? This is insane! Fuck, oh fuck… I can't take it, it's so radiant that I can't even look at it properly…!"

This must be what it means to be happy. Being able to see the masterpieces being born every day is happiness. While happily wading through my feed, I spent hours lost in the online world.

"…Ah."

There it was: Reito/Shouta. And… blocked. It's like I never saw it in the first place. It really was a shame that they didn't understand the better dynamic. But staying in your own lane makes the world go 'round, so never having to see it again was good enough.

And finally, after checking everything else, I'd left the best for last:

"Sanseiu-sensei…!"

Sanseiu-sensei, the god of ReiOu. Even if they hadn't uploaded anything new, I could spend hours rereading all of their older works.

"What's wrong? Could it be… is that embarrassment I see?" "H-hey! I still can't believe it… What would someone like you see in me…?" "If you keep saying things like that, I'll just go ahead and eat you up." "Mmph…!?" "…Delicious." "R-Reito-kun!" "Aren't you so sweet? Maybe… even sweeter than chocolate."

"Aaah, it's still this good every time I read this!? Even though I've read it before? This flavour never gets old no matter how many times I reread it! Seriously! What the fuck! I'm gonna go insane!"

After rolling around on my bed, I grabbed my pillow and screamed into it while writhing in glee. How was I supposed to remain sane after reading that!?

"It's so cute! It's so cute that I'm gonna die! Killing me directly would be less painful, Sanseiu-sensei!"

Throwing my emotions into this much disarray… that was the power of the great Sanseiu-sensei. I'd heard that they tabled at a large convention a few months ago, but…

"I wanna meet them and thank them…!"

I wanted to go so badly, but…

"…I can't deal with crowds…"

---

[1] 無限回収 mugen kaishuu refers to the act of buying the same merch over and over without caring about the cost. If you've ever seen one of those huge birthday shrines with a million of the same pins? That's the energy.

[2] アルミ arumi basically is a shortened form of ‘aluminium’. This could refer to a can badge, but it could also be an aluminium standee, which is a cutout of an artwork from an aluminium can. Since Ushio is saying that instead of the acrylic standee, he got an arumi, and also that he mentioned can badges earlier, I've gone with this option.

[3] 礼王 is Ushio's OTP, Reito/Ouji. He'll explain this later! After this, he searches for 礼玉. Note that 玉 looks like 王; it's pretty common to use something to censor part of the name so that it doesn't appear in searches. I've replaced the O with a 0 to replicate the same effect since it wouldn't make much sense to literally transcribe it. 'ChocoPudding' is another version of their ship name (which he will also explain later).

---

masterlist | next →

[whataboutsimple]

Okay, guys, one more minute please.

The clothes in MCSM should be like.. hella expensive. Especially the shoes I think.

Not the armour, but regular normal clothes. Nowadays we have factories making those, and yet it still expensive. They don't have those in MCSM.

So each piece of clothes is a handiwork, requiring lots of wool, dye and leather. The leather is especially expensive part, since you actually need to kill the cow in case to get it.

There are probably big ass farms producing leather, since you need it not only for clothes, but also books, which should be expensive as well. There are probably also different types of cow farms, like those who keep cows for leather only and those who keep cows for meat only. Since they need a lot of leather, they keep a lot of cows and try to grow them faster, which decrease quality of meat, meanwhile farms that keep cows for meat actually "care" about animals, so the meat will be in a good quality.

Cheap stores probably bye meat from leather farms too, since.. well, it's cheaper, though the quality sucks, I bet most of people actually bye this type of meat, than high quality from meat farms.

Due to that, cow meat should be the basic food people eat, since pig farms produce nothing but meat, meaning it usually is high quality, but also expensive. Of course there should be farms, that do low quality, but they will never reach the same amount of production, as leather farms with their "cheap meat".

Chicken should be the second cheapest meat, since the only other product they give you is feathers, that can be used either in making arrows, which are not the most needed product, or pillow stuffing. Still, chicken farms are a bit easier to keep, than cow farms, since chicken need less food and space. Chickens also produce eggs, which is quiet useful in cooking.

So let's put it clear:

1. Cow meat is the cheapest.

2. Chickens meat is the second cheapest.

3. Pig meat is not too expensive, but not cheap either and probably "rare" as well.

4. Sheep meat should be the most expensive, since you don't actually need to kill the sheep in case to get the wool.

Getting back to clothes train, let's talk about dye. Yeah, it probably the cheapest material you need in case to make clothes, but we don't actually think that flowers grew everywhere around 24/7, do we?

After settling in new area, of course for sometimes there will be enough flowers to just pick them up and dye your clothes, however the longer people are there the less amount of flowers grew around. Not talking about the fact, that some flowers have specific area where they grow.

So there should also be flowers farms, meaning the dye will also have it's own price, and depending on the colour, the price can be cheap or expensive.

No wonder the gang keep their clothes almost the same, changing it maybe a bit. Modification of old clothes should be cheaper, than buying new pair.

Let's also remember there are different ares, like desert or taiga, that don't have dye or needed amount of animals. Leaving there would be quiet difficult, especially in desert, since animals just don't spawn there, besides maybe, rabbits.

Clothes out of rabbit leather should be the most expensive, since you can get those only on desert and they are hard to kill. So maybe desert towns produce things like glass, lava, rabbits leather and meat to keep themselves loaded with money. Lava is a good recourse of fuel and since people don't go constantly in nether to get it, the second best place besides caves is desert. You also can't constantly grab sand in rivers, since it will destroy the system there, meaning that eventually you will go to the store and buy desert glass.

Also! Lava as a source of fuel is an interesting moment. Those people, who descover lava lakes in caves, should be hella rich. Though eventually lava will end and you'll need to find another source or invest into coal mining. Can be both.

I actually lost the track of what I'm even talking about.

[familyabolisher]

can you elaborate your thoughts on 'the bear' show? i keep seeing it all over my dash and it looks interesting but i wanna know what to look out for since you said the politics isn't handled well.

having now watched all of the second season—a major problem sticking out to me is that the show can’t quite decide what tone it wants to strike. in season one, you had these dream sequences intended to communicate carmy’s [in]ability to process his feelings about michael, spliced with an otherwise v realist tone—but the show never really leant into either consistently using a surrealist external world to represent something internal to a character or going straightforwardly realist. season two has, eg., a moment where syd sees the text on the rapidly generating tickets change from table orders to like ��fuck” over and over, and, like—it’s the same thing again, it’s the use of an obviously not ‘literal’ physical space communicating the mental headspace of the character whose perspective we briefly occupy, but, like, the show can’t quite commit to the tone that this slightly trickier technique demands, so it just feels awkward and clumsy and like a cheap way of communicating a character’s internal state. i thought the bit in season one where carmy dreams he’s on a cooking show that goes horribly wrong was really tonally effective and an excellent segue into the rest of the episode, but, like, they just kind of pull this conceit out when they need it and ignore it when they don’t. and i wish they’d try to do more with it! shit or get off the pot.

the dialogue is also just … pretty weak at points. there’s a lot of like, characters launching into anecdotes as a technique of exposition, which … i can put up with once or twice, but when it just keeps happening, i can’t help but think of it as lazy writing. season 2 also seemed to spread itself far too thin; we have different episodes dedicated to different secondary characters, which if handled well could be effective—the idea is that they’re a team, that everyone contributes something and everyone has to pull their weight, and we spend time with each individual before seeing how it all comes together at the end. that did kind of half-land in the final episode, but on an individual level, the episodes just weren’t tightly constructed enough for any one storyline to feel complete. tina and marcus in particular felt … underused, underdeveloped, i feel like i barely have more of a sense of their characters than i did at the end of season 1. marcus’ episode especially felt incredibly flat; we learnt (through Dialogue Exposition) about his relationship to his terminally ill mother, which i think worked well enough, but other than that, the process of learning new baking techniques felt half-assed and lacked any real tension, will poulter’s character was completely forgettable. glad we got some pretty shots of copenhagen, but like, what was the point.

ideologically it sucks lol. there’s a chef who’s fired for doing drugs which the narrative is v much fine with, there’s pithy comments about people coming into the restaurant in groups and buying one thing so they can sit around, there’s … just no real sense of the ways in which restaurants are classed spaces, service work is a denigrated form of labour, hospitality is a v abusive industry … richie’s episode in season 2 focuses on him learning some nauseatingly bootlicky hospitality shit as a barometer of Character Growth to the point that i was laughing when i watched it because i couldn’t take it seriously at all. (there’s a line where a manager says that serving fine dining guests can be compared to looking after people in hospital in terms of the level of care you bring to the job … i guess that’s why they call it … Hospitality … and i was just sat there cackling. like, be serious.) there’s just no drive to interrogate the hospitality industry & how the impression of servitude and deference is built into the world of fine dining and what that means, no serious criticism of restaurant work beyond carmy’s flashbacks to chefs being abusive to him that become a discursive dead end when the show doesn’t develop them to tackle the nature of fine dining itself.

my final big problem is that it’s very thematically flimsy. the conceit of the show is that carmy has to interrupt his career as a fine-dining chef to come and work at michael’s v modest sandwich shop whilst emotionally processing his suicide—so it seems pretty clear to me that this would play with tensions between the culture of fine dining and that of a failing sandwich shop, right? like, clashes when the fine dining chef tries to bring fine dining techniques to the new place, in the end we all learn a valuable lesson about what we can all teach each other or whatever? and season 1 does do this, but even at the points where it seems to want to criticise the fine dining industry, by season 2 it seems to have pretty definitively joined the war on fine dining on the side of the fine dining. there’s not really a drive in season 2 to interrogate what it means to turn a neighbourhood sandwich shop into a fine dining establishment; how do regulars feel about this? what about the locals who might now be priced out of it? what about the question of gentrification? none of these are ever really brought to the forefront. in season 1, we got the sense that carmy’s fine dining world was sterile and alien where it wasn’t actively abusive, and the sandwich shop allowed him to escape that world—so why aren’t we asking questions about what kind of restaurant culture is really valuable, what really makes for good hospitality? even in a show that obviously doesn’t want to ask serious questions about restaurants under capitalism, there are all these little channels of negotiation that season 1 seemed to set up only for season 2 to let them drop.

so, yeah. i’m not convinced the show really has a strong sense of direction. season 2 felt very all over the place, and seemed to want to juggle so many things at once that it ended up not really landing any of them.