#but! surgery went well i guess and i am now down four teeth

[pettydabblerconstantine]

Got my wisdom teeth out this morning and now that the anesthesia has worn off: what the hell was that

[fruitcoops]

Wisdom With Age

Follow-up to Leo getting his wisdom teeth out: it���s Loops’ turn! Hope you enjoy :) Coops credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for dental work, wisdom teeth removal, anesthesia, and surgery (mentioned)

Sirius carefully, but firmly, set his hand on Remus’ knee to stop it from bouncing. “Sorry,” Remus muttered, then immediately began worrying at the hem of his old t-shirt.

“Okay,” Sirius said under his breath, turning in his seat and taking both of Remus’ hands in his own. “Sweetheart, look at me.”

“I don’t like this,” Remus muttered as his eyes flickered up to Sirius’ face. “Honey, I really don’t like this.”

“I know, but you have to do it.”

“Why? They’re my teeth, it’s my mouth, and is it such a bad thing if I don’t want people poking around in it?” The leg started bouncing again. “I mean, humans survived for thousands of years with their wisdom teeth, and—and teeth serve a lot of very important purposes besides chewing. This could fuck up my ears, and my hearing—”

“Remus.”

He swallowed hard and clenched his jaw.

Sirius began tracing slow circles over his knuckles. “You know better than anyone why this is important, and it’s dangerous to keep them in any longer than you already have. I totally respect that you’re freaked out right now, but you’ve got to calm down. These guys do this all the time.”

“There are always exceptions.”

Yes, I know, I’ve been thinking about all those scenarios for the past two weeks. “And you won’t be one of them. How long did you spend finding this place, again?” There was a beat of silence. “Re.”

“Four hours,” he muttered.

“Exactly. You did your research.” Remus’ eyes wandered up to the clock and his grip tightened when he saw how little time was left until their appointment. Distraction, distraction—“Tell me why you chose this place.”

That got his attention. “What?”

“You spent four hours sifting through dentists’ offices online, right? Tell me why this one stood out to you.”

“Um. Well, I guess it was just a combination of things. They have really good ratings and this is where Leo got his out, which went well. He was on his feet within a week, which was impressive. The equipment is good quality and—”

“Remus Lupin?”

“Oh, fuck me.” The nurse raised her eyebrows at him, and he flushed deep red as Sirius hid a smile in his shoulder. “Sorry, sorry. Hi, that’s me. Remus Lupin. I’m…a little nervous.”

Her face softened as she walked over. “That’s perfectly normal. We have a little bit of paperwork for you to look over and then we’ll get started. Is this the person who will be driving you home?”

“That’s me. How long will it take?”

“Oh, an hour or so. Not long.” She handed Remus a pen before turning back to Sirius. “We do these procedures all the time, so there’s nothing to worry about. The surgery is quick and easy.”

Remus’ hand skidded across the page on the word ‘surgery’ and Sirius squeezed his thigh gently as he took a trembling breath. “Thank you for doing this on such short notice,” Sirius said with a smile while Remus read. “We really appreciate it.”

“Why does this have to be so important?” Remus mumbled as he signed the last page.

The nurse shrugged. “Human bodies are funny things.”

He snorted. “Tell me about it.”

“Are you a doctor?”

“I was a physical therapist for six years,” he said, handing the clipboard back to her. “Unfortunately, that means I know exactly why putting this off for so long was a bad idea.”

“I don’t know about a bad idea.” The nurse tilted her head to the side. “You still came in to do it before there were any problems, right? That seems pretty smart to me, and very brave.”

“She’s right,” Sirius said quietly, knocking their shoulders together. “You’ve got this, mon loup.”

The nurse waited patiently while he took a few deep breaths before standing up and hugging Sirius tight around the chest. “You’ll be here, right?”

“I’m not going anywhere.” He gave him a gentle kiss on the lips and the inside of his wrist. “Go get ‘em, tiger.”

The tension returned to Remus’ shoulders as he followed the nurse out of the lobby; Sirius sat down and grabbed a magazine to distract himself for the next hour.

------------------------------

Twenty minutes later, the nurse came back out. Sirius stood up immediately as fear bolted through his chest. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine,” she soothed, taking the seat next to his with a sigh. “There was a bit of trouble getting him to fall asleep, though.”

“Oh?” Sirius tried to keep his voice neutral as he sat down, but even he could tell it didn’t work that well.

She gave him an amused look. “Your boy is stubborn. We get nervous people all the time, but he seemed to have a personal vendetta against our anesthesiologist. The countdown usually lasts three seconds, maximum, but I made it all the way down to five before he was out.”

“But he’s okay?”

“He’s just fine.” She patted his hand.

“He’s been avoiding this for about four years now.”

“Really?”

“Yep. Hates hospitals and dentists, but still got a medical degree.” Sirius huffed. “His mom threatened to drive here from Wisconsin and drag him in by the ear if he didn’t schedule it soon.”

The nurse smiled. “You’d be surprised by how many young folks we get in here shaking in their boots. It’s really not that bad of a procedure, but all you hear about are the times it went wrong.”

Sirius hummed in agreement. “Is it normal to be nervous for him?”

“Yes.”

“That’s good.”

“Lots of people cry while they’re waiting, though I haven’t quite figured out why. Feel free to do some wailing if you think it’ll help.”

“I’ll pass, but thank you for the offer,” Sirius laughed. There were a few heartbeats of comfortable silence before he spoke again. “I don’t like the idea of him being in there all alone.”

“Oh, honey, nobody does.” She gave his hand a quick squeeze. “We always want to be there for the ones we love. Boyfriend?”

“Fiancé.”

“When’s the wedding?”

“This summer.” He smiled to himself. “I’m really excited.”

“How long have you been together?”

“We’ve known each other for six years or so, but we’ve only been dating for one.”

They chatted back and forth, and Sirius felt his nerves melt away as the conversation turned to Harry, then Regulus and Jules, until a tall man in a white coat poked his head into the lobby. “Do we have a companion for Remus Lupin in here?”

Sirius raised his hand. “That’s me.”

“Come on back, he just woke up.”

The dentist’s office smelled different than a hospital, which Sirius was grateful for. Remus wouldn’t like waking up with the scent of rubbing alcohol all around him. The walls were painted a cheerful yellow with various murals for the younger patients—each room had its own name tag with stickers.

“Remus?” The doctor knocked on the door as he opened it. “We’ve got someone here for you.”

“Hmm?” Remus blinked sleepily at them from the table; his face was puffy from anesthesia and gauze.

“Hey, Re,” Sirius said, taking his hand and rubbing it between his own. “Are you ready to go home?”

Remus squinted at him for a long moment. “Did it hurt?” he asked.

“Did what hurt?”

A smile twitched at the edges of his mouth. “When you fell from heaven. Hiya, handsome, I’m Remus.”

“Oh my fucking god.” Sirius looked back at the doctor, who was hiding his laughter in his hand.

“Here’s your aftercare sheet,” he said, pushing the wheelchair a little closer and handing Sirius a piece of paper. “Can you get him outside by yourself?”

Sirius nodded. “It might take some manhandling, but I’ll be fine.”

“Damn right, you’re fine,” Remus snorted.

“Merde,” Sirius muttered. “Alright, you shameless flirt, can you sit up by yourself?”

Remus winked at him, though it was more like a slow blink. “Might take some manhandling. What’s your name, angel?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

He shrugged as Sirius helped him clamber into the wheelchair. “I need something to yell.”

“Holy shit, Re!” Sirius spluttered, nearly steering him straight into the cupboards in surprise. “You can’t just say that in the middle of a dentist’s office!”

Remus frowned and glanced around the room. “Is that where I am?”

“Yes!”

“I don’t like dentists. Or hospitals. Super fuckin’ creepy.”

“Yes, I know.” The hall was mostly empty, thank god. “You’ve told me.”

“Have we met before?” Remus stared up at him and nearly went crosseyed. “You’re being so nice to me.”

“We’ve known each other for six years.”

“Huh. I really hope we’re dating, because there’s no way I’m passing up a chance to tap that.”

“You know, Leo was incredibly sweet when his wisdom teeth got taken out,” Sirius sighed as they went down the next corridor. “He called Finn ‘pretty’ and then only wanted cuddles for a few days. You, on the other hand, were apparently so stubborn that they had to spend twenty minutes putting you to sleep, and now you’re hitting on me like a drunk frat boy.”

“I can call you pretty if you want.” Sirius stopped walking as Remus reached up to trail a surprisingly steady hand down his cheek; some of the flirty mischief was replaced by awe. “You really are beautiful. What’s your name? For real this time, I want to know.”

“Sirius.”

“Like the star.” The corners of Remus’ eyes crinkled. “Brightest one in the sky. It fits.”

“Just for that, I’m going to let you in on a secret,” Sirius said as they neared the exit.

“Oh?”

“We’re engaged.”

“What?”

[onlydylanobrien]

Dylan O'Brien - NME Magazine Interview

Dylan O’Brien: “I was in this transitional phase – close to a quarter-life crisis”

From YA heartthrob to legitimate leading man – how the 'Maze Runner' star hit his stride after a whirlwind decade

Definitely!” hoots Dylan O’Brien when NME asks if he still has to audition. “I’m not Tom fucking Hanks, bro.” He’s clearly amused by our question, but forgive us for thinking the 29-year-old actor gets cast on reputation alone. A decade into his career, and he’s making an impressive transition from teen TV star and YA franchise hero to charismatic leading man.

New York-born O’Brien cut his teeth on MTV’s hit Teen Wolf series, before landing the lead in the Maze Runner film trilogy based on James Dashner’s hugely popular novels. Leading a band of bright young things that included ex-Skins tearaway Kaya Scodelario, Game Of Thrones’ Thomas Brodie-Sangster and Will Poulter, he honed his craft while racking up nearly a billion dollars at the box office. “My career is a constant acting class,” says O’Brien. “To be able to do the Maze Runner movies simultaneously with Teen Wolf was amazing in terms of getting in reps and working my [acting] muscle.”

Now for the sometimes tricky bit. Many actors struggle with the post-breakout period, but O’Brien is making it look easy so far. This year’s Netflix hit Love and Monsters proved he can carry an old-school family adventure, and new film Flashback (out next week) reveals an appetite for weirder, more cerebral work. He stars as Fred Fitzell, a young man reluctant to buckle down to life as a nine-to-fiver with a boring corporate job and a long-term girlfriend (Mindhunter‘s Hannah Gross). When he runs into a freaky-looking acquaintance from his teenage years, Fred becomes obsessed with finding an old high-school friend he used to drop a mind-bending experimental drug called Mercury with. It’s difficult to say any more without entering spoiler territory, but Flashback is a wild ride underpinned by the idea that we can exist in several realities at once. Even if you follow every plot twist, you might not fully understand the end. “Oh, it’s definitely a headfuck,” O’Brien agrees. “There’s not totally an answer to figure out. There’s a lot of different things that people can take from it.”

Speaking over Zoom from his LA home, O’Brien is bright, thoughtful and really good fun to talk to, especially when he relaxes into the interview, but he clearly knows where his line between public and private lies. When he first read the Flashback script, written by the film’s director Christopher MacBride, his “mind was blown” by just how much he related to Fred. “I felt like I was in this transitional phase of my life that was, you know, sort of close to a quarter-life crisis type thing,” he says. “For whatever reason, it was like me and this script were meant to be. I remember reading it and thinking: ‘I am this guy right now.'”

“There were a lot of things in my personal life that were neglected for a while”

When we ask why O’Brien felt as though he had reached a “transitional phase”, he gives an answer that’s vague but not exactly evasive. For understandable reasons, he doesn’t mention the incredibly traumatic motorcycle accident he sustained while shooting the final Maze Runner film in March 2016. O’Brien suffered severe trauma to the brain and said in 2017 that he underwent extensive facial reconstructive surgery after the accident “broke most of the right side of my face”. Tellingly, he’s never really revealed what happened on set or how it affected him.

Today, O’Brien dances around the details of the accident and other issues he was dealing with at the time, but doesn’t shy away from discussing his inner conflict. “You know, it was a lot of personal things combined with at-a-point-in-my-career things,” he says after a brief pause. He says he’d have been going through some of this stuff anyway, simply because of his age, but it sounds as though success intensified it all. “It was like this whole fucking storm of shit,” he continues. “I was simultaneously so fulfilled and happy about these, like, otherworldly and surreal things that I had experienced in terms of where my career had brought me. I had all this confidence and fulfilment and beautiful people [in my life] – such amazing things to experience at a young age. But at the same time, there were a lot of things in my personal life that were unchecked and sort of neglected for a while.”

O’Brien says that in time, he realised he had to “stop for a second” and “re-explore how I wanted my life to look going forward”. In fairness, you can see why he needed a breather: his career took off while he was still a teenager. After his family moved from New Jersey to Los Angeles County when he was 12, O’Brien contemplated a career as a sports broadcaster – his Twitter bio still bills him as a “no longer suffering Mets fan” – then began posting YouTube videos as moviekidd826. A funny, slickly edited skit titled ‘How to Prepare for the SAT in 45 seconds’, shared when he was just 17, shows he was a born performer and storyteller. YouTube success led to him getting a manager, but his breakthrough role in Teen Wolf still came out of the blue. At the time, he was treading water at a local community college and taking auditions on the side.

Still, he has since taken a rather fatalistic view of this career-making moment. “It’s totally weird because, when I think about it now, I don’t see how it could have happened any other way. I can’t picture myself doing anything else now,” he told Collider in 2011. “It was really sudden and a little random, and not provoked by anything. It was just out of nowhere. It wasn’t my intentional doing.” Today, O’Brien summarises his skyscraper career trajectory succinctly. “I guess I just graduated high school and started acting,” he says. “And then I felt like I was just flying by the seat of my pants and never got a chance to stop.” Thankfully, straight-out-the-blocks Hollywood success hasn’t taken away his sense of perspective. When I say how easy social media makes it to compare yourself unfavourably to others, O’Brien jumps in: “Yeah, that’s very true. I was watching the Billie Eilish doc the other day, and I was like, I’ve done nothing. I’m not an artist at all!”

“No one thought ‘Love and Monsters’ was going to be good!”

O’Brien is also self-deprecating when he talks about being cast in Flashback, suggesting it happened because he had such an intense connection with Fred. “I was honestly like, ‘Who is watching me right now?’ That is the best way I can describe how I was feeling when I came across this script,” he says. “Chris [MacBride, director] and I had this conversation that went so well in terms of [my] understanding this script that I think he’d sent around a lot and [that] very commonly wasn’t understood. I think Chris has even said that the night before shooting, he suddenly had this thought, like, ‘Wait, do I even think he’s a good actor?'”

Though O’Brien has firmly ring-fenced elements of his private life, he’s actually pretty frank about his acting vehicles. He readily admits he was expecting a snobbish response to Love and Monsters, a CGI-heavy hybrid of post-apocalyptic action and romcom that dropped on Netflix in April and topped the streamer’s daily most-watched list. “It means so much that Love and Monsters has gotten the response that it’s gotten,” O’Brien says. “No one thought this movie was going to be good.” His blunt honesty makes me laugh out loud. “No one did though!” he says in response. “And so, fuck that. You know, most of the people who say something to me about the movie, they’re like: ‘I watched Love and Monsters, and it was… good?’ And honestly, that just cracks me up.” For obvious reasons, we hastily decide not to share our response to the film – namely, that it was a whole lot better than expected.

In Love and Monsters, O’Brien plays Joel, a survivor of a so-called “monsterpocalypse” that has bumped humans to the bottom of the food chain. Though he’s known in his colony as a bit of a coward, Joel sets off on a treacherous 80-mile journey to find his high school sweetheart Aimee (Iron Fist‘s Jessica Henwick), which means evading the hungry clutches of various supersize grizzlies including a giant monster-frog hiding in a suburban pond. It’s a simple but pretty out-there premise that wouldn’t work if O’Brien’s performance was even slightly condescending. Instead, his unselfconscious sincerity really sells a film that has as much in common with the family-oriented Robin Williams movie Night at the Museum as darker fare like The Walking Dead.

His obvious affection for the project really comes across during our interview today. “When I read the script, I just thought it was so sweet and funny and smart and unique, but at the same time reminiscent of all these movies that don’t really get made any more,” he says. That’s a fair point: Love and Monsters is neither a fail-safe superhero movie nor a slice of classy Oscar bait. “And when they were talking about how to market this movie, it was so funny hearing all these conversations like, ‘How do we actually get people to watch it?'” he adds. “But that’s a big part of the reason I wanted to do this movie: because it felt like something I missed seeing.”

“I’m lucky to be surrounded by people who want to make something out of love”

So in a way, Love and Monsters was a risk for an actor seeking to establish himself outside of a bankable movie franchise and a hit TV show. O’Brien has only made four films since his final Maze Runner outing in 2018, and insists he hasn’t been tactical with his choices. “I don’t have anyone saying, ‘We need to get you in an Oscar vehicle’, or any of that kind of shit,” he says. “I’m really lucky to be surrounded by people who think like me: that you should do what you’re drawn to, and make something out of love.”

He’s recently finished shooting a mysterious crime thriller called The Outfit in London with Mark Rylance. Directed and co-written by Graham Moore, who won an Oscar for his screenplay to Alan Turing biopic The Imitation Game, O’Brien calls it “quite possibly one of the most special pieces of writing I’ve ever experienced”. He first read the script on a plane and says he “actually stood up and clapped” when he got to the end. Considering O’Brien probably wasn’t flying Ryanair, this reaction presumably attracted a few baffled glances.

Anyway, it must be pretty intimidating walking onto set with Rylance, a multi-award-winning actor revered by his peers – Al Pacino once said he “speaks Shakespeare as if it was written for him the night before” – but it sounds as though O’Brien took it all in stride. He says he’s confident in his abilities, but admits to having a slight wobble whenever he begins a new project. “I’m always sort of re-questioning everything – like, ‘Can I even act?'” he says. “But I think there’s something very natural about that. I think even Rylance could relate to that feeling. Acting is like starting a new year at school every single time.”

At this point in his career, O’Brien has made peace with the fact that some people will have preconceptions about him based on what he’s known for: Maze Runner and Teen Wolf. “People will put you in a box no matter what,” he says. “There was definitely a time when that would get to me, especially when it felt like somebody had a perspective on me that in my soul, I just felt wasn’t accurate.” Still, there’s no doubt he wants to show us what’s really in his soul with more films like Flashback. “If anything,” he adds bullishly, “it just makes me think: ‘Right, I’m really gonna show them now’.”

‘Flashback’ is out on digital platforms from June 4

[im-whatchamccallit]

You Get Injured During a Performance//ATEEZ

(A/N: I hate that I type the way I talk. I feel like it doesn’t make sense to other people lol)

Hongjoong

You laid on the stage with your arm covering your eyes as the lights were too bright for your liking, shaking and sweating as you struggled to breathe, your senses going into overload from the adrenaline pumping through your body. You were doing a performance for MAMA and obviously wanted your group to stand out, your company deciding an acrobatic-based performance would be the best way to go. Unfortunately, you allowed your hand to slip beneath you during your backflips, landing on your back with an audibly agonizing thud, any attempt at standing causing a bolt of pain to hit you, your body giving up as you remained still.

It took two minutes for everyone to notice you were immobile and still on the ground, the music ending abruptly and lights shutting off as your group members and staff scrambled to your side. You could hear all the concerned commotion, your lips trembling in an attempt to speak and finally mustering up a weak ‘everything hurts’. Your words echoed throughout the blacked out room before the staff hurriedly turned off your mic, not wanting to raise any more concern with the artist waiting in confusion, but their hopes were pretty much ignored as Hongjoong rushed from his seat and towards the stage, ignoring the few people attempting to stop him on his way to you.

It felt like a scene in a movie, but Hongjoong couldn’t tell if it was romance or horror, his eyes widening as someone rushed to place an oxygen mask over your face, informing everyone that she had called for paramedics. There was a strange feeling in Hongjoong’s chest, having seen you bedridden from the flu and your period, but this felt more extreme and the pressure was starting to weigh on him. But watching you cry and wince with each breath made the leader in him take charge, crouching down to your side and grabbing onto your hand, your arm trying to move from your face to see who was beside you.

“It’s okay, (Y/n), it’s me. You’re gonna be okay.”

“J-joong… I can’t breathe.”

“I know, but the paramedics are coming soon and they’ll get you to the hospital and you’ll be better.” He was lying through his teeth, uncertain of how this entire situation would play out. He bit his bottom lip to hold back all the emotions he truly felt when your hand squeezed his, knowing it’d be a matter of time before they spilled out.

“Are you going with me?”

“Of course I am. I’m staying with you until you’re alright.”

“Excuse me!” A female voice called through the commotion, three other people dressed in uniforms approaching before squatting down to your level.

Hongjoong reluctantly released your hand, allowing them to carefully lift you onto the gurney, replacing the studio provided oxygen mask with one of their own, your arm now at your side allowing you to glance around for the one person that said they’d be there with you.

“I’m right behind you, baby, don’t worry.” As soon as the words left his mouth, his cheerful and hopeful tone turned to desperation and fear, his gaze turning to the paramedic closest to him.

“Will it be alright if I ride along with her?”

The woman exchanged a few words with the others assisting you, turning back to him and nodding, Hongjoong not wasting a second to be at your side once more.

Seonghwa

You let out a breath of relief as the staff finally set you into a sofa backstage, adjusting your body so that your ankle was elevated with a pillow beneath it.

You were embarrassed that you tripped during your performance that required you to wear 8 inch stilettos, but applauded yourself for powering through, although your dance break was probably laughable considering you couldn’t put weight on your left foot, your ankle throbbing in agonizing pain before you collapsed just as it was all over.

Unfortunately, your mishap and pain didn’t go unnoticed, Seonghwa practically bursting through the door and rushing to your side, his eyes filled with worry as you tried hard not to roll yours. Seonghwa has a habit of being a bit overdramatic, his behavior making a somewhat minor situation go from manageable to unbearable and, right now, you were praying it’d stay manageable.

“Are you okay, baby? Do you need medicine? Pain killers? Water? Can someone bring her a wate-“

“I’m fine!” You snapped, trying to keep your voice at a low and calm level, glancing to the man sitting next to you that refused to relax his panicked face.

“I’m heading to the hospital soon, they’ll do an x-ray, let me know I’m fine, and I’ll be back in my dorm safe and sound.” You reassured him knowing he needed it more than you.

“Okay... but you should head there now. You know that what feels like a normal sprain could be something much worse?”

“Seonghwa...” You warned, knowing he’ll say something completely out of pocket that’ll make you just as scared as him.

“I think sometimes the bone completely breaks and can damage the nerves and tissue, then your foot will have to be amputated.”

“Seonghwa!” You cried, the idea that the sharp pain you felt was possibly your fragile bones no longer being functional, you attempting to dance on it causing bits and pieces of it to break off and pierce the surrounding meat. That didn’t sound logical or right, but you were a firm believer that anything could happen.

“But we need to stay positive. I’ll be the positivity we both need.” Seonghwa’s once scared demeanor shifted to a comforting, almost nonchalant one, wrapping his arms around you to soothe your now terrified form.

Yunho

Unfortunately, Ateez had to perform at the same awards show as your group, so when you suddenly dropped on stage in pain before your group members rushed to carry you backstage, he wasn’t allowed to aid you. It was even worse when you texted him you were at the hospital, Yunho feeling deflated considering you two were just feet apart as it happened but he couldn’t check on you then and there.

He didn’t even wait until the awards were over, leaving immediately after their stage to be by your side, not sure what to expect once seeing you. He could only picture the kind of distress you’d be in, the pained expression and yell you let out on stage replaying in his mind.

But, upon meeting you, you were sitting in bed with a cup of jello, almost four empty cups of the same snack on a bedside tray as you stared at the television in amusement, finally noticing the frantic boy’s presence.

“You came! Come here!” You said excitedly, Yunho confused as to why you weren’t in tears about your leg that was currently suspended by a sling, but he washed the bewilderment away to smile at you, telling himself that as long as you were alright, there was no need to freak out.

“I’m guessing you’re okay?” He questioned, moving closer to your bed while debating if he should lay next to you, opting to stand and just hold your hand once you placed your spoon and gelatin down.

“Yeah, they said it may just be a meniscus tear. Once they come back with the x-ray, they’ll let me know if I need surgery.”

“S-surgery?” Yunho reminded himself to stay calm, trying to find anything to say to keep the moment lighthearted for your sake.

“Uh.. well, all the best dancers get injured like this, so... good job on being the best.” He said as confidently as he could, mindlessly raising his hand to give you a high five in an attempt to seem normal and hide his concern, your palm meeting his with your usual bright smile as you obviously couldn’t read his emotions.

Yunho mentally slapped himself for making the situation relaxed to almost unimportant, his panic worsening now that you were even more at ease with your condition despite neither of you having any idea what the results would bring.

Yeosang

“I told you not to go out there when you told me you were already in pain, and what do you do?” Yeosang said bitterly, watching as you lied on your stomach in the hospital bed, avoiding his gaze.

“I went out there...” you muttered sadly, trying to turn onto your side to further avoid the obvious anger radiating from his body.

“Stay still.” You immediately stopped at the command, feeling like a child being scolded by their parent at this point.

You had told Yeosang weeks prior that you were having back pain, a stiffness that you relieved with an hour or two of yoga before continuing on to practice, only for the pain to return. It’s been like this for months and you thought it wouldn’t be an issue, that is until you were due to perform and the pain hit you with the intensity of a semi-truck, your body collapsing as you blacked out for almost an hour, awakened in a hospital bed with no real recollection of the previous events.

You knew Yeosang was worried about you and, even if his tone was stern and angry, he was honestly scared. He knew you were a hard worker and always pushed through your pain as if it were no big deal, trusting that you knew your body better than he did, but seeing you groaning that your legs and lower back hurt from the years of strain put on your clearly exhausted body, was the final straw for him.

“You won’t be promoting for the next comeback and maybe even the one after that. You need to rest.” He said in a definite tone, your eyes rolling at the sudden authoritative behavior.

“You know you have no control over that. Besides, we already recorded everything for the album. I won’t make them redo everything because-“

“They have time to re-record everything and you need to take it easy, because your group won’t last if the doctor tells you your spine is still as fucked up as it was last year!”

The once strict voice wasn’t strict anymore, but laced in concern and exhaustion, Yeosang tired of having to pretend you can handle this on your own knowing you were just on the verge of destroying your body. You swallowed hard and tried to ignore the heat rising to your face, slightly embarrassed from the admonishment but also now realizing you were selfishly causing distress to not only your group and yourself but to your boyfriend who could barely concentrate during his own practices because of his anxiety. Besides, a few months off work didn’t seem too bad, right?

“Can you at least tell them I’m sorry?” Your voice was small, head turned away to keep Yeosang from seeing your tear-brimmed eyes, but he slowly places his hand to your head and massaged your scalp gently to soothe you.

“Of course.”

San

They told you the performance would be so cool if you and your members arrived on stage from a rising platform, and it was, until the platform slowly sank back down in the middle of said performance, leaving an open space that caused you to fall down a 3-feet deep trap door and onto your knees, everyone’s eyes widening as they watched you disappear in the blink of an eye.

While the show kept going, everyone slowly starting to wonder what exactly just happened, San was looking to his members in panic, asking them if you’d be okay and if he should check on you. He knew how trap doors worked and how a harsh impact like that, even from a short distance, would hurt, and it only made him freak out more.

Because Ateez’s popularity was at an all time high recently, Hongjoong advised him to stay for the remainder of the show, not wanting to make a bad impression or cause an unnecessary and stupid scandal. So San stayed, taking deep breaths while forcing a smile and his usually hyped behavior for the cameras while his mind kept drifting to you, wondering if you were alright and the fall wasn’t as bad as it seemed. But then, a miracle came, a break for all idols and guest to head to the restroom if needed.

San didn’t waste a second before sprinting out of the area and towards the backstage rooms, not sure of where you were but not bothering to ask any of the staff either. His ears picked up on a familiar voice just next to him, the tone whiny and almost annoyed, the same voice you used whenever you couldn’t have your way.

“I was just trying to get an ice pack!”

“We’ll bring it to you but you can’t move! Your knee is really swollen!” The leader of your group said firmly, your eyes shutting to keep you from rolling them.

Sure, you were in pain since your left knee took most of the impact, but everyone crowding around you made you feel frazzled, almost like you needed to escape. It was unbearable. Your eyes opened to the sound of San’s hurried but gentle greetings to everyone, sitting at your side and carefully moving your legs to lay across his lap, the angle much more comfortable than you sitting upright.

“Are you okay?” San asked, his eyes scanning you before landing on your knee, bright red with yellow and blue undertones, an almost inaudible gasp leaving his lips.

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just swollen. But I’m kinda being held prisoner here.” You half-joked, eyeing your leader as she handed you the cold plastic packet, San grabbing it first to apply it to your bruise.

“How about we go back out to watch the rest of the awards? There’ll be enough space for you to breathe.”

“What? She needs to go to the hospital, San!” She said, seeing this all before and not dealing with it again.

“It’s only a swollen knee.” He defended, not listening to her as he scooted you further onto his lap and wrapped his arms around you, preparing to carry you back to the seating area, knowing he’s spent too much time there.

“And it will only get worse if not treated properly. You always give her what she wants when she’s whiny like this but it’s not what she needs.”

San thought over her words. He did always give you what you wanted when you were hurt or sick, knowing it wouldn’t heal you but surely make you feel better. But if he did what was best, you’d probably be upset with him, something he wasn’t very fond of. But he was running out of time and needed to make a choice now, for better or worse.

“Just text me when you guys leave the hospital, okay?”

Your jaw dropped in shock and anger while your leader smirked triumphantly, helping to move you from San so your manager could carry you to his car, your glare never leaving San’s while you left the room and headed in opposite directions. All he could do now was mentally prepare for the attitude you’d give him later.

Mingi

The lightening techs were positive they checked that the light fixtures were secure. They were POSITIVE they were secure. So why did one fall right next to you, hitting your shoulder in the process as it dragged you down? It was a miracle when you managed to get up, gripping your shoulder in pain as you tried to continue performing, looking up at each light and flinching as you stood beneath them, terrified that the next time it fell, you wouldn’t get up at all.

Your professionalism was applauded despite the fact a few staff members were probably getting chewed out for the mishap, your body dragging itself off stage as you ignored the sometimes dull but sometimes noticeably sharp throbbing.

Watching you rebound from that made Mingi believe you were fine, a bit shaken up but not too scarred, but he also watched as you clutched your arm as you hurried off stage, obviously not being as alright as he first thought. Some minutes passed before you were in your regular attire and heading back to your seat just behind and the rest of Ateez, his eyes finding yours as you gave a reassuring smile.

“Is your arm okay?” He asked, turning to give you his full attention as you looked to the exposed side of your one shouldered dress, a large bruise forming on the skin that was originally clear.

“I think it’s okay. Wanna touch it?” You smirked, leaning forward so he could get a better look at it.

You seemed fine but he was hesitant, looking between the purple and yellow blemish to your amused face. What if there was some internal damage and him touching it made it worse? What if a single touch managed to dislocate your shoulder? So many thoughts were running through his mind and you rolled your eyes impatiently.

“I won’t die, Mingi. Just touch it.” You insisted.

The frightened boy finally gave in and gently pressed it with his index finger, an alarmingly loud cry leaving your mouth and drawing the attention of people nearby, his face filling with horror and panic as he apologized repeatedly, a grin breaking out on your face as you laughed loudly, showing that you weren’t sore in anyway, having took pain killers as soon as you were off stage.

Mingi huffed, pouting angrily before turning back to the awards, no longer wanting to be bothered with your pranks. Even with you apologizing and admitting it did kinda hurt, he was unsure of what to believe, opting to not touch you at all.

Wooyoung

It was the most heart wrenching, blood curling noise Wooyoung has ever heard, his body bolting up immediately as you let out the pained screech before collapsing to the ground, hands gripping and clawing at your head, your group members trying so desperately to carry on but everyone was distracted by the scene, none of them sure of what had just occurred.

Your manager quickly rushed on stage to grab you, dragging you away as the others continued, your teeth gritting in pain from the sudden electric shock your earpiece gave. You were set into a chair just off stage, being offered water or anything else to calm you down but you were in shock (no pun intended), unable to concentrate on anyone or anything as your ear rang violently, and all you could do was try to bring yourself back to reality.

And Wooyoung was just the same as you. Your hands moved so fast to throw your earpiece away that no one seemed to notice, their final judgement that you had some breakdown mid-performance, the rumors and allegations already brewing and he could do nothing but sit by and listen. Where was the sympathy? Why was everyone more worried about whether you were crazy than if you were fine and not overworking yourself? It was beginning to piss him off and the boys were the ones to get an earful of his anger.

Instead of waiting to see if you’d be fine, he stormed out of the large atrium and made his way backstage, luckily running into you immediately to see you staring at the ground, your manager and group members at your side while staff occasionally stopped by to make sure you were fine. Wooyoung didn’t hesitate to approach, practically pushing everyone away as he kneeled in front of you, his hands holding onto yours as his concerned eyes bore into your distant ones.

“Baby, are you alright? What happened?” He asked softly, watching your eyes flicker to him and show the first sign of life since you were brought back.

“M-my earpiece malfunctioned and shocked me. I couldn’t really hear for a bit but I’m fine now.” You gave a small smile, hoping to reassure all of them you were fine but it wasn’t fooling anyone, your face dropping once again as you spoke lowly, admitting you thought you were deaf considering the silence lasted for five minutes.

Wooyoung didn’t bother to speak anymore, knowing the last place you’d want to be is here in front of so many people after something scary like that, his hands guiding you to stand with him before informing everyone he’d be taking you home, not waiting on their objections before leading you out, much to your relief.

Jongho

Going solo from your group was a terrifying yet exciting experience, even more so when you were set to perform alone for an awards show. You’ve dreamt of this moment ever since you were a kid, and now it was finally coming true, every thing you trained so hard for coming together. Until one of your back up dancers ruined it.

Considering you typically danced with eight other girls at your side, the eight dancers behind, a good mix of male and female, made up for the obvious absence. But throughout all the rehearsals and times you’ve done this routine with them, one of the men misstepped, the spacing between you and him way too close. You held the mic at an angle to capture your voice perfectly, somewhere between your nose and upper lip, his arms swinging outwards and knocking the mic harshly into your face. The impact was heavy, the shifting of your nose being felt as you stumbled backwards, clutching your face that was now leaking crimson.

Ateez were preparing in the backstage area to perform after the next few awards were given but all preparation stopped as staff and members alike watched as you bled out on the stage from the television hanging in the wall’s upper corner, the dancers rushing to your side to assist you as you tried hard to not cry, instead apologizing into the microphone to the various artist and fans that were in attendance.

You had worked so hard for that stage and it was ruined in a matter of minutes. Jongho’s heart clenched at the thought that you were probably beating yourself up over this, knowing you won’t get a second chance or a redo for something that wasn’t your fault. Everything happened so fast, that they didn’t even realize two MCs came to name the nominees for the awards. Jongho excused himself from the room, knowing he only had a few minutes before he had to go out.

It wasn’t hard for him to find you, following the sound of loud sobs that were just a few feet away, Jongho calmly approaching to see you leaning against a wall with blood stained tissue in both nostrils, your eye makeup running as your tears continued to flow, your already difficult and harsh breathing turning to hiccups. You were a disaster, and it was exactly what Jongho prepared for.

You didn’t realize it was him holding onto you until you looked up, only causing you to sob more, even more disappointed in yourself that he had to see your first award show performance go down in flames.

“I messed up!”

“It wasn’t your fault.” He reassured you, rubbing his hands along your back as you buried your face in his neck, potentially ruining his outfit but that was the least of his concerns.

Jongho slowly lifted your head to look at you. Besides the fact your nose was currently crooked, probably broken from the mic, he still thought you were beautiful. Although the moment didn’t seem appropriate for vain compliments, he knew he had to at least comfort you for the time being and this was just the way to do it.

“Hey, pretty girls shouldn’t cry. It’ll ruin your make up.”

“Why not? Everything else is already ruined...”

“But if it’s like your make up, we can fix it, it’s just gonna take some time.” He spoke softly, your eyes meeting his as he carefully used his thumb as to wipe away a few stray tears.

The sound of heavy footsteps in both directions alarmed the two of you, Seonghwa and Yeosang behind Jongho telling him they needed to hurry and apply their mics and earpieces before they went on, your manager behind you saying his car was ready to take you to the hospital. You looked at Jongho with an expression that silently begged him to stay with you, him being the only person to calm you down from your literal shitshow. But he knew better, wanting to be both a good boyfriend and responsible for his own career simultaneously. Again, he was prepared for this.

“I have to go, but you’ll text me when you get there and I’ll text you when I’m on my way. And no more crying, okay?”

His tone was firm but light. You gave a somewhat confident nod before he pulled you into another snug but gentle embrace, slowly releasing you to allow your manager to guide you out the emergency exit, turning on his own heels to catch up to his hyungs.

Jongho was fairly proud of himself for how he handled the situation, not certain that if the injury were much worse that he’d be as cool, but that was something he hoped he’d never have to face, especially with you.

[diaryofabeautyfiend]

Officially Nowhere

“Sam! Where are we going?”

“Trust me, Cap. I know a place. We’re going somewhere safe.”

“Nat, you still with us?!”

“I’m good.” she said. Her breathing was ragged but she was holding on.

“She needs a medic. Fast.”

“I know. We’re 2 minutes out.”

They pulled up to a gate. Sam sped up to drive through. He silently thanked heaven that it wasn’t rigged with explosives. He’d keep that to himself. He knew you wouldn’t be pleased to have all of this commotion dropped in your lap but you’d help anyway. Steve jumped out of the car and grabbed Nat rushing her to your door. He went to go kick it in thinking the place was abandoned. Sam shouted, “WAIT!!” but it was too late. Steve had a gun to his head faster than he was able to release his leg. He froze in place looking to Sam who was running to his side.

“Y/N! It’s me! Don’t shoot!” Sam said putting up his hands.

“Wilson? What the fuck is this?”

“I’m sorry. We need your help. Romanoff is hurt. Please.”

“Lower your weapon, soldier” Steve said in a rather commanding way. You laughed. “I will as soon as she does” pointing to Nat with your chin. Nat had her weapon pointed at you.

“Everyone lets calm down. Y/N they are friendly. I trust them.” Your face softened a bit as Nat raised her hands. You holstered your weapon and stepped aside. “ Put her on the kitchen table. I’ll get my bag.” “Where are we?” asked Steve. “Officially? I am no one. You are nowhere. I’m not helping you. Unofficially I’m Y/N. I’m a former combat medic and this is my house. Nice to meet you. Now please. The table.”

You grabbed some supplies from a hall closet. Nat was talking so she seemed to be breathing ok. “Let’s see.” Steve hovered at her side. “Captain you’ll have to move so I can evaluate her injuries.” He moved out of the way and you got to work. “You know who I am?” He asked still watching you work. “Of course. Everyone does. Romanoff was it?” Nat nodded. “You were hit. Through and through by the looks of it. I can patch you up but you’ll need surgery to see if you’re bleeding internally. She needs to get to a hospital, Sam.”

“No. No hospital.” Nat said through gritted teeth. You gave her something for the pain. She started to drift off. “What did you give her?!” Steve shouted reaching for his gun. “Relax. It’s for pain. I don’t think your girlfriend wants to feel me rooting around inside a bullet wound.” He relaxed a little. Sam went to the fridge to get some water for Steve and a beer for himself. You finished sewing up the wound and swabbed her skin with disinfectant. “That will do for now. I have a spare bedroom in the back. We need to get her there to rest.” Steve picked up Nat and got her to the room. You started an IV and hooked her up to a few machines to monitor her. “She’ll be out for a while, Captain.” You patted him on the shoulder and pulled a chair to her bedside. “She’s lucky to have you.” As you stepped into the doorway he looked back and said, “Thank you, Y/N. I really can’t begin to tell you how much I appreciate all you’ve done....and she’s not my girlfriend.”

You went back into the kitchen where Sam was already cleaning up. You opened a beer and got him another. “So. Wanna tell me what’s going on?” “Yeah. We’re fugitives. Hiding out from SHIELD, Hydra the US government. And, if that wasn’t enough, a brain washed super soldier who happens to be Cap’s best friend.” He sunk down onto the couch sighing heavily. You sat next to him laughing quietly to yourself. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. Just you. You always get mixed up in stupid ass shit. You’re like a trouble magnet.” He laughed half heartedly lying his head back.

“You have no idea. I’m glad I get to see you you know but not under these circumstances. How have you been doing?”

“You know me, Sam. I manage.”

“Have you been going out on jobs?”

“A few. Mild stuff. Search and rescues...assassinations. Nothing too strenuous.”

“What about the nightmares?”

“They are still around.”

You heard shuffling and saw Steve standing in the doorway. “Sorry. Nat’s awake.”

“Oh great. Let me go see about her.” Steve sat down in a big chair and let out a long tired sigh. “You hungry, man? Y/N has a big grill outside. I can throw something on.” With his eyes still closed he nodded and tried to will himself out of the chair to help. You came back with Nat at your side saying, “Look who’s back from the dead” Nat pressed her hand into her bandage stifling a laugh.

Sam jumped up to help her get situated. “Hey Y/N Steve and I are gonna get the grill going. What can I cook?”

“Oh I got it.”

“No, ma’am. You’ve done enough today. Put your feet up. We got it.” Sam said while he pushed you back down on the couch.

“Check the fridge. I have all kinds of meat in there. Grab what looks good.”

While they were rummaging through the kitchen you checked ok Nat again. “Y/N please. I’m fine. Take a load off.” And so you did. You sat quietly for several minutes watching the men out of the window. They seemed a little more at ease now chatting and laughing. You focused in on Steve. You wondered what he was really like when he wasn’t Captain America. He seemed worn out..worried. Nat was watching you watch him. You didn’t know it but you were biting your bottom lip. You did that when you were really thinking.

“He’s not bad to look at” she finally said. You startled at sound of her voice.

“No, he’s not. What’s his story? Girlfriend? Wife?”

Nat laughed, “he doesn’t date much. Kind of keeps to himself. You should see him on a mission though. The guy is a beast”

“I’ll bet he is.”

“What’s your story, Y/N? How many tours did you serve?”

“Three. Combat medic.”

“Is that how you know Sam?”

“Yeah. I saved his life a few times. Then he saved mine.”

“Can I ask why the Army thinks you were KIA?”

“Because they assumed that, when they left me on the side of the road to die, I actually did die. Thank goodness for Sam. He spotted me when he was out on patrol and took care of me. I owe him everything.”

“Whoa whoa whoa. Your own unit?!”

You chuckled “Yep. My own unit. I was the only woman. I had a nonconsensual run in with one of the guys. Asked to be transferred and swore I wouldn’t report. My last night on the base they took me out for a send off dinner. We never made it. A couple of them pulled me out of the Jeep. They took turns brutalizing and beating me. Pushed me down an embankment. I swear I have no idea how Sam saw me.” Nat’s mouth hung open and closed several times trying to find words. She was at a loss.

“I’m so sorry that happened to you. So you’re just hiding out here? All by yourself? What do you do for money? Physical contact with people?”

“I tend to avoid physical contact unless I have needs to fulfill.” You smiled to yourself. “As far as cash goes, when I was in the hospital I met some of the royal family from Wakanda. They were there on a good will visit meeting wounded civilians. They listened to my story and took me in. Put me to work. That’s why I can afford to stay in the lap of luxury.” You both laughed. She held your hand and squeezed. Giving you a shy half smile she said, “I’m so glad Sam found you.” You had tears in your eyes. You choked them back not wanting to give them any satisfaction. You don’t cry over that night anymore.

“Hey ladies! Soup’s on!” Sam shouted from the door.

You helped Nat out onto the patio. The four of you spent the evening talking and laughing like old friends. You and Steve were definitely flirting. You excused yourself to pick up the dishes. As soon as you were inside Sam an Nat pounced.

“Dude! You are totally flirting with her.” Sam said playfully. Steve waved him off.

“Come on, Cap. She’s flirting back. It’s adorable.” Nat teased.

Steve blushed. “She is isn’t she?”

“Get in there, man. Make a move.” said Sam as he nudged Steve’s arm. He shook his head “no” “GO!” they said in unison. He flushed crimson and sweat started to bead on his forehead. He went into the kitchen to help with the dishes. Steve kept looking out the window at the two of them who smiled like proud parents.

“Christ she’s going to eat him alive” Nat said still smiling.

“It’s hard to watch” Sam replied. The two of them went to bed leaving you two on your own.

“I’ll wash you dry?” You said as you threw Steve a towel.

“Yes, ma’am. So how do you manage to live off the grid like this? Must be lonely.”

“It can be. I work when I am asked. When I have needs to meet I take care of it.”

“I was under the impression that no one knew you existed.”

“I work for the Royal Family of Wakanda. It’s a long story. They’re the only ones.”

“What kind of work do you do for them?”

“I am a War Dog. Part of the central intelligence service of Wakanda.”

“So can you tell me what kinds of missions you go on?”

“Need to know, Captain.”

“I see. I hope you stay safe. And please call me Steve.” He rested his hands on the kitchen island watching you bend over to put away a pan. You could feel his eyes on you. You giggled to yourself.

“I’m the safest.” you say with a wink “And I rather like calling you Captain.” He cleared his throat and adjusted his pants to hide his arousal.

“Well I guess I’ll turn in.”

“Or you can stay up with me for a little bit. I don’t get much company I’m sure you can imagine. Let’s go out to the deck.”

You lit the fire pit and grabbed a couple of blankets. The air was crisp. The slight breeze felt good against your neck. You didn’t realize how warm you were. You pulled the blanket higher around your shoulders your skin shivering into goosebumps. You had a bottle of wine and a glass for each of you. “Red ok?” You poured way too much in his glass. “Red is fine. That’s plenty. Are you trying to get me drunk?” He laughed a little making your cheeks warm. “Me? Never.” “You do know I can’t get drunk? My metabolism is too fast. Alcohol burns right off. “ You plopped down next to him with an exaggerated hmph. “Well that puts a hitch in my plans.”

He smiled at you. This was not his Captain America smile. This smile spread on his lips very slowly like a cat that ate the canary. He rested his hand on your knee and said, “You don’t need to get me drunk.” You let out a small sigh and your eyes fluttered closed. You set your glass down and put your hand on top of his. You stared at each other for what felt like an eternity and you leaned in to kiss him. He was timid at first only softly pressing his lips against yours. “Is this ok?” you whispered. “Hell yes” he replied.

He bent his neck so you didn’t have to strain to meet him. You pressed your lips together slowly snaking your tongue inside his mouth. Your tongues met dancing together exploring each other. His fingers ran the length of your spine before settling at your hips. He pulled you on top of him without having to separate from you. You could feel how hard he was and you pressed down on him making him moan in your mouth. Your hands moved to his belt buckle removing his belt in one fluid motion. He unbuttoned your shirt pushing over your shoulders. You slipped your hand into his underwear stroking his impressive length the tip already dripping. Steve was horny to the point of pain. He moved his hips fucking your hand and was almost ready to cum then. “Wait....I don’t want to cum yet.” he said breathless dropping his head back. “Oh no, Captain, not yet.” Your voice was low and husky. Still straddling him you kissed the stubble on his jaw line down to the spot just below his ear. You felt his pulse racing against your lips. His skin was salty with sweat and smelled delicious. He was panting now. His hands were a vice grip on your hips silently begging you press down to give him release. You sat back on your heels taking off your shirt and bra giving him a little show. You stood up pulling your pants and panties down. He felt like you were moving in slow motion. You were back on him taking off his shirt. You trailed a finger over his abs marveling at the definition. The hair on his belly was sticky with his own juices. His cock looked like it was going to explode. You fisted the waistband of his pants and underwear in your hands and tugged them down. He lifted up a little to make it easier. Your eyes were locked on each other’s, Steve’s mouth open slightly breathing heavy. You slipped two fingers into his mouth and leaned down to whisper in his ear, “suck”. He obliged. Once they were wet enough you removed them and brought them down to your pussy. You leaned back so he could have an uninhibited view of your fingers dipping in. Your other hand was on your clit rubbing furiously. He steadied you with one arm at the small of your back. He wanted to touch you but you slapped his hand away. When you were almost to the point of orgasm you stopped sitting up abruptly. You lowered yourself onto his cock and rode him until you both exploded.

After a few minutes you rolled off of his lap onto the couch. You slapped your hand down on his thigh and said, “ What do you say, Captain? Up for round two?” His lips split into a devastating grin, “I can do this all day.” And so you did twice more. Once was in the shower where you scrubbed each other clean. He pressed your back against the cold tile driving himself into you while he held your legs. The last time was bent over the foot of your bed. When you finished he collapsed his full weight on top of you. Your breathing mirrored his both sated and exhausted. He trailed kisses on the back of your neck slapping your ass as he stood up. You crawled towards your pillow. He stretched out next to you. You didn’t speak. He pulled you onto his chest and held you. As you drifted off to sleep he kissed the top of your head. That was the first night in ages that you were nightmare free.

The next morning Sam was the first one up. He walked to the living room glancing out of the door going out to the deck. Your clothes were scattered on the ground. He chuckled to himself. Alright, Steve. He made his way to the kitchen to make coffee. Nat wandered in next, “Did I see underwear on the deck?” Sam looked over his shoulder, “Our little boy is growing up, Nat.”

You woke up feeling way too hot. Steve was sleeping with his body curled around you. You freed yourself and slid out of the bed trying not to wake him. He didn’t stir. You got dressed and snuck out of the room. When you got to the kitchen Nat and Sam were at the table chatting. “Morning. Ooh thanks for making coffee.”

“Y/N, wanna tell us what happened last night?” asked Sam

“A lady doesn’t kiss and tell.”

“Is Steve still sleeping?”

“Yep. Or I killed him. Not sure.”

Nat’s phone rang. She stepped outside to answer. She came back in interrupting your conversation. “We have to go. That was Hill. We know what Pierce is planning for Project Insight. I’ll fill you in on the ride. On the road in 10.” Sam was on his feet gathering his things. You grabbed Steve’s clothes. Back in your bedroom Steve was awake but still lying on the pillow. He was thinking about Bucky. You opened the door peeking in. “Hey. Time for you to go to work, Captain. Nat just got a phone call. She said on the road in 10.” You sat on the bed next to him. He held your hand and brought it up to his lips to kiss your finger tips. “I don’t want to go.”

“Ah well. You have a job to do.” He kissed your palm and rested it on his cheek. His eyes closed and he sighed deeply. “Can I see you again?” “You know where to find me.” You smiled and got off the bed, “Now March, soldier”

You said your goodbyes. You told them to come back to visit. You couldn’t help but feel a little pang of sadness. Sam wrapped you in a bear hug. “Be safe, man.” “Thanks for everything, Y/N.”

“Cap. We have to go” Nat shouted.

“Be there in a sec. I’ll come back soon.”

“You’d better. Be safe, Captain.” He kissed you deeply. You hugged him around his neck. Nat beeped the horn. He kissed you again and then he was gone.

Later you saw on the news three Helicarriers were destroyed and crashed into the Potomac. The report said Steve was shot. You grabbed your phone and called Sam. It rang once, “He’s ok.” You hung up. You hadn’t realized you were holding your breath.

Once Steve was out of the hospital he said his goodbyes to Nat and Fury. He looked down at Bucky’s file. “You’re going after him.” “You don’t have to come with me. I have to make a pit stop though.” Sam smiled, “Where to?” Steve smiled back. “Officially? Nowhere.”

[give-me-back-my-rhodey]

There’s No Future Without You - AUgust Day 22

Title: There’s No Future Without You

Author: Purple_ducky00

Rating: Teen

Warnings: n/a

Square Filled: O5: RiRi Williams for @ironhusbandsbingo

Pair: Rhodey/Tony

Link: Read on AO3

Written for: @fightingforcreativity​

Summary: Rhodey gets sent forward in time by this week's villain. He is able to return home with the help of an AI and an avid fan.

+++++++++

Fuck. I wasn’t fast enough! Rhodey thinks as he tumbles through the portal. Falling out on the other side, he stands to catch his bearings. He’s on the same street corner, but things just look… different. People are walking the streets, but their faces look digital.

 He checks his suit’s availability. HUD is working, repulsors are working, GPS? Connecting to satellites. If this is New York, where’s Stark Tower? Why are there so many huge buildings in place of what he’s used to? Was he put through a time portal? Flying straight up in the air, he quickly locates Stark Tower. Landing on the landing pad, Rhodey walks toward the doors. The familiar whine of a repulsor makes him turn. He sees an Iron Man suit built for someone much smaller than Tony.

“Who are you? And how did you get a hold of the old War Machine armor?” The modulated voice sounds feminine.

 Rhodey holds up his hands and lets the helmet retract. “Hi, please don’t shoot? Can you tell me what year this is?”

 “2080. Who are you?” “This is going to sound crazy, but I am James Rhodes, the original owner of this suit. I was fighting a villain, and they sent me through a portal. I guess it was a time portal because I’m from 2019.”

 The suit lowers its repulsors, but the voice doesn’t sound convinced. “Follow me.” It says, then mutters. “If anyone would know, it’d be him.”

 Rhodey is led into a room that had definitely not been in the tower in 2019. “Hey T,” the voice in the armor says, “do you know this dude?”

 A hologram shivers into place, a direct replica of Tony. How the-. “Yes. That’s Rhodey!” The Tony-hologram crows. “I told you he’d find us.” He tells the suit triumphantly. “Rhodey, meet Riri Williams. She’s Ironheart. Riri, meet my bestest friend in the whole wide world, James “Rhodey” Rhodes.”

 The suit opens up, and a young black woman steps out. “Can I just say that you are like my hero?” She gushes. “We learned about you in school and everything. And then Tony has been telling me about you, too. You’re the reason I created this armor.”

“Uhm… thank you?” Rhodey scratches the back of his neck. “So, Tony, is this like your consciousness coded into an AI?”

 “Unfortunately, no.” The AI Tony replies. “Tony created me after you went through the portal. Using Extremis, he crafted me. I have many of his memories, but I am not him. He passed some time ago. I’ve been helping Riri ever since.”

 Rhodey’s heart sinks. He wishes that Tony were here with him.  Tony is his lifeline, just like he is Tony’s. He doesn’t want to be here; he wants to get home. “Can I get back to my time?” He questions.

 Tony makes that sound that he does when he sucks on his teeth. “Hmm, I don’t know. We’d have to figure out how you got here. I don’t know anything about time travel.”

 “You’re welcome to stay here until we figure it out.” Riri bubbles. “I’ll get a room ready for you.” As she walks off, Rhodey hears her squeal. “I met Colonel Rhodes today!”

 Rhodey turns to AI Tony, who shrugs. “Yea, maybe I got a little carried away, you know?”

 “Typical Tony?” Rhodey grins and hold out his fist to pump. AI Tony pumps back but his hand goes through Rhodey’s arm.

 “Sorry, don’t have a corporeal form.” AI Tony smirks.

 Speaking of corporeal forms, Rhodey remembers the people he saw on the sidewalk. “What is up with people’s faces now?” He asks.

 “Does my face look bad?” AI Tony’s hands come up to his face.

 “No, no, it’s just… everyone seems to have like a digital face.”

 AI Tony opens his mouth like an O. “Ohhh, you mean the face screens? A new inventor made them and sold them at a relatively good price. Basically, everyone has one now. Instead of wearing makeup or getting plastic surgery, you can just make your face look exactly how you want it. Large steps in the beauty industry.”

 “What else can people do?” Rhodey is intrigued by the technology of the future.

 AI Tony shifts. “Well, I can give myself a body, if I want. They found a clean fuel that powers all vehicles. Also, most people don’t drive anywhere anymore. Not sure why, but they say it’s a good thing.”

 Rhodey opens his suit and steps out. Walking around AI Tony’s hologram, he asks. “Do you want a body?”

 “Only if they could make me with my exact dimensions and everything. I don’t need to be seven feet tall; you know. I’m a bit fussy with my looks. You can’t blame me, I was HOT.”

 Rhodey nods begrudgingly. “You’re not wrong there. Where are the places that build bodies?”

 “Aw Rhodey, you’re so sweet.” AI Tony “cups” Rhodey’s jaw. “We can probably manufacture it right here. But how do you know?”

 “Other than dick size, I can give you adjustments for the old Tony based off of my height.”

 AI Tony claps his hands. “Excellent. Let me show take you to the room.” Rhodey is left to follow the hologram down the halls.

 Once he figures out Tony’s height and width and plugs them into the machine, AI Tony tells him that the process will take 24 hours. “In the meantime, how about you get some rest. I believe RiRi is finished with your room.”

 Rhode slept well in the bed, but it’s nothing like his mattress at home. His mattress at home is worn down. It also is more likely than not holding not only Rhodey but also Tony. Tony used to slide in when he had bad dreams, and Rhodey would cuddle him. Those nights were bittersweet, but Rhodey loved them just the same.

 Twenty-four hours later, AI Tony’s body is created. He spends a half-hour transferring himself into the body. When he’s done, he offers to take Rhodey on the tour of the city. He suggests showing RiRi and him the exact spot he portalled in case something would help figure out how he tine travelled.

 When they don’t find anything, RiRi tells them she has to go on a mission, and she doesn’t know how long it will take. AI Tony pats her shoulder and advises her that he and Rhodey will keep each other company.

 RiRi has been gone for a few weeks now, checking in nightly. AI Tony and Rhodey are spending all their time together, growing closer and closer daily. Rhodey knows that he’s definitely in love with his time’s Tony. When he mentions this to AI Tony in a moment of truth, the AI grabs his arms and says, “When you get back, tell that to him. His worst regret in life was not being able to save you.”

 Rhodey hugs the AI, holding back tears. “I really hope I can get back. I really miss him. You’re great and all, but…” He trails off.

“I’m not him.” AI Tony finishes sadly. “I get it, don’t worry.” Rhodey lays his head on the humanoid’s shoulder, and they sit in silence.

 RiRi returns two days later. “Rhodey, I think I can send you home!” She jumps up and down happily. “You don’t understand how awesome it is for me to be able to help out my hero. I had to go pretty far to get this type of crystal. My friend wizard is coming over shortly to send you back. Say your goodbyes quickly.” “RiRi, you are amazing. I am forever in your debt!” Rhodey pulls her in for a hug. “I just have to go find Tony.”

 Rhodey finds the AI in the server room, adding some lines of code. “Hey, RiRi found a way to send me home.”

 “I heard.” AI Tony smiles sadly. “I’m happy for you. I will miss you, but I’m happy.”

 “Can I try something?” Rhodey bites his lip. “I’m gonna tell Tony when I get home, but can I kiss you? I don’t want to be awkward when I finally kiss him.”

 AI Tony nods, and Rhodey leans in to kiss him. It’s tentative at first, but quickly grows deeper. When Rhodey pulls away, he doesn’t notice the AI wiping away a tear. “Thank you,” Rhodey says sincerely, “for everything.”

 RiRi’s wizard friend arrives, and Rhodey gets back in the War Machine armor. A few chants and the waving of the crystal, and a portal opens. Rhodey waves back at them, then steps through. He lands on his feet on the landing deck of Stark Tower. Walking inside, he finds Tony in his lab.

 “Rhodey! You came back!” Tony breathes. “I hoped you would!”

 “Tony. I love you. More than a friend. Like romantic love and all that. I should have told you long ago, but I was afraid my feelings wouldn’t be returned.” Rhodey stops for a breath of air.

 Tony takes the pause as an opportunity to jump into Rhodey’s arms and kiss him soundly. Rhodey chuckles. “I’m taking that as an ‘I love you, too.’”

 “Your deduction skills are perfect.” Tony laughs.

 ++++++

AI Tony stands alone in the server room. He had known from the very beginning that Rhodey was not his to keep. But Tony had hoped, foolishly human of him.

 Sighing, he turns, preparing to leave the room, his former home, behind to face the world. Except a panel opens which he hadn't been able to open before.

 "Hey Tones, be so nice and get me a body on my own," intones Rhodey's voice from the speakers, and AI Tony sees the code that make up his friend, his fellow AI, his lover. Finally, the last firewall preventing him to remember disappears, and he remembers how Tony got Rhodey back and how he as AI had been put to sleep with the promise of never have to be alone.

[kevv]

a goodbye letter- abandoning current social media

i'm not the best at writing out my thoughts. forgive me if this feels scrambled and scraped together. my best friend, Fox, once said in abridged words; "it takes two to play out an abandonment fantasy, one to have it, and the other to follow suit".

i've known several handfuls of people who fear abandonment, or more specifically, being the one abandoned; scared that one day everyone in their life will take leave. and sometimes, like a self-fulfilling prophecy, they do. they leave in mass exodus, set into motion by one person who wants to set-forth their own abandonment fantasy– abandoning everyone else.

for me, my own fear of abandonment is not anyone abandoning me, i'm unbothered by people entering my life and leaving of their own accord; i'm scared i'll be the one to abandon everyone in my life. because i have. several times. i still do, even. i'll meet people in my lifetime that i loved harder than the universe itself, a deep love so terrifying i feel that it'll demolish cities and townships, friends and lovers and found-family. my skin will buzz and blaze alight with such an intense fear, a fear that i will ruin them and everything they are so i must run. it's unfounded, but it drives me away, and i fight tooth and nail to get to that escape route for those who won't let me leave quietly, until it ends in disaster. it's my own abandonment fantasy. i recall once, an ex-lover wanted me to stay. tried to lock the door and toss away the key, and said it hurt that i wanted an out. so i caused problems until i could break out through the window. not being allowed an option to leave made me feel like a feral, caged animal; because in the end, that's all i am. i hadn't done it on purpose. the need to escape everything had been there months prior. the events leading up to it had been fuzzy at best, sickly at worst, and i had been spoonfed misinformation. not on purpose, not in malicious intent, but still it struck genuine fear in my heart. like a feral animal, i want the option to roam. to come and go as i please. i can't be kept, i just want the trust that i'll find my way back eventually. if i feel contained, i scratch and bite until i'm released. but if you hold out your hand and wait patiently, i'll come to you. but don't ask me to stay. please don't ask me to stay. there's a lot that lead up to this current migration. the inability to be allowed to stand on my own two-feet and exist as just purely Kevin, not adjacent to someone, was a big one. still to this day i am asked about a youtuber i am no longer affiliated with by my own choice. i don't like attention, it's something i've said to her, said to many, and why i chose to never appear in her videos. which seems contradictory for an artist who posts on social media and previously did all of her older channel art. but maybe now i'm realizing that truthfully, i wanted recognition for me, not for others or for who i made myself sick in order to create content for. it's inescapable. i harbor no hard feelings anymore, i understand i was in the peak of my codependency and was willing to ruin myself for the benefit of another. to run myself broke and dry because at 19 years old i was still a child who didn't know how to handle the extent of his emotions. i want to apologize to penny. neither of us are really blameless, but we were inexperienced and young– still young. it's easy to not know what we're doing, to unintentionally take advantage of someone who was willing to burn themselves to give you warmth, or to latch onto an unfounded rumor and bare my teeth. i hope you're doing well, and i'm sorry. i'd like to give you a proper apology one day, when i'm more ready. that day is not today. sometimes i feel like there are four people living inside my brain, all with dissenting opinions and voices that i can't tell who i am anymore. i feel like i'm constantly contradicting myself because i don't know what my own thoughts are. i don't know who i am anymore. i don't know who i am anymore because i'm several different people all trying to be "kevin", all with different beliefs that go against a previous one. i prematurely deleted my twitter account for this reason, i couldn't stand a second more of being in a toxicity cycle i had previously taken part in, because sometimes that's all social media is. it's very... Online. i want to be one, unified person. whose thoughts and feelings are unadulterated by others surrounding him. additionally, there's the elephant in the room. some have already guessed it, suspected it, saw something like it coming from miles away. but for others who have known me for the past decade, it might be a surprise. someone once told me that words have power, and while at the time i disagreed, i'm starting to understand what she meant now. i've been afraid to speak it into existence, because it means it's real, and coming to terms with this unavoidable truth is a terrifying experience, one i need to face and stop running away from. 

i'm detransitioning. giving life to this phrase doesn't make me feel any better. words have power, and that power is to make me crumble and break. since as early as 4 years old, i felt as if i was born a boy who was just being raised as a girl. at 12 was when i learned about and started identifying as transgender. at 18 i legally changed my name. for a decade, i lived as a transgender man. i've mentioned this before, but i'm intersex. i have an androgen insensitivity syndrome. what this means is that androgens, male sex hormones, have no effect on me. they instantly are reconverted back into estrogen by my body. this has been a reoccurring nightmare of mine since i was 14, and having it become my reality is.. heartbreaking, to say the least, crushing a lifetime of dreams and wishes. i've tried testosterone, self-medicated in my teen years, and "officially" more recently. it has no effect on me. a friend of mine says i shouldn't give up hope until i properly see an endocrinologist about HRT, but the reality is– i know my body, and i know my condition. i don't grow body hair, and my body cannot masculinize. these are unavoidable truths. i don't need to spend hundreds of dollars to be told what i already know. HRT will not affect me; i will never be able to transition. any attempt will become a scientific study in which i'm a guinea pig. i don't want that. i will never pass for male. my voice is high, my body is undoubtably female, my face is feminine, and i'm 4'11". it's disheartening and i've shed many tears over it. for what feels like my whole life, i've longed for SRS/GRS, top surgery, a deeper voice, and a couple inches of height. i ache for body hair, masculine fat redistribution, and male pattern baldness. all the good and the bad associated with testosterone is what i so desperately yearn for with such a soul-crushing depravity. i am genuinely heartbroken. maybe it's my punishment for all the bad things i've believed in or done. it's what i'd deserve, i guess. this punishment. it is for those reasons that i feel like i can no longer find comfort in identifying as ftm, to struggle seeing myself as a man. it's crazy, i've referred to myself as male since early childhood, and now that i'm coming to terms with my intersex condition am i feeling wrong in every conceivably way of identity. truthfully, i don't even identify as anything anymore. i'm not nonbinary, cis, or i guess trans. i feel as if i just exist. i just am. you can still call me kevin. it's my name, my legal name– which i love to point out. i'm not changing it. it's the first time i made a decision purely for myself, and went through with it. i love my name. i don't think i will love anything about myself quite like my name. i chose it when i was 12, it was my first choice. i never wanted another name. i still don't. but i like nicknames, particularly kitty and K-K. you can call me those too. these have always been options available. i reiterate– i really like being called nicknames. (: you can still use male pronouns for me. i never minded being "misgendered" because, well, i never passed, and i made peace with that years and years ago. while being called she/her or otherwise will probably always leave a stale taste in my mouth, i've learned to accept the reality of what i am a long time ago. biologically female. you can still use male identifiers for me, like husband or boyfriend or whatever other male terms there are...... actually you'll have to pry those out of my cold dead hands. i will not accept being called a "girlfriend" i will literally go feral and foam at the mouth and bite your ankles until you take it back. there's comfort in these things that i'm not ready to let go of, and frankly, i don't think i'll ever feel ready to. moving forward, i don't really know what i'm going to do. right now i'm taking a break from the internet, so i can soul-search and truly find myself, in all senses of the word and every iteration that it can be built upon. i'll make a new twitter account when i'm ready to, probably. there's a lot more i want to say, to add onto this in addendum, and pour so much of myself into this until it spills out the sides and trickles down into tiny cracks. but truthfully, i don't know how to say it. i don't know its relevancy to this eulogy of an account, and quite honestly, there are still some things i can't find myself able to say. to speak into existence. to give power to those words. admitting aloud to a 6-year long love that burnt like candles catching a home on fire was intense enough (hi Charlotte it's you, it's you and it's always been you and everyone knows this). so maybe i'd rather keep some things to myself, perhaps. preferably. so i guess that's it. i've bared my heart and soul and skin and bones to whoever will read this piece of myself. it's the end to katidoj, one that's been a longtime coming. i've never been very good at staying in one place for very long. please take care, i love you. and i'll miss you. a piece of my heart left with you, here buried deep in this account. (pressing the submit button has never been so hard in my life.)

[captain-kingliamsqueen]

Matter of National Emergency- Liam x MC

Pairing: Liam x Riley

Summary: Liam and Riley are in Isolation in Valtoria...and one of them may succumbed to the almightly Tik Tok! <-- can you tell im bored? 

Word Count: 1,667

Masterlist

 ASK IF YOU WANT TAGGED! SORRY IF I MISSED ANYONE!

I always notice every single spelling mistake or issue after I’ve posted…so apologies in advance! 

Tags aren’t working so I will be tagging in the comments.

Liam sighed as he entered his and rileys quarters at Valtoria, shutting the door behind him. It was just hitting seven o’clock when he returned from his last meeting. Liam and Riley loved coming to stay at Valtoria, it felt more like a home than the palace did, after they got married they stayed at the palace whilst they had some renovations at Valtoria done, they had the royal quarters basically  turned into a reasonable sized apartment.

“hey, how was your meeting?” Riley called from the en-suite, she was just coming out as Liam had walked into the bedroom, she made her way over to him, moving to her tiptoes to press a kiss against his lips.

“it was…stressful” He sighed as he placed his hands on her lower back, nuzzling his head into her shoulder

“so…what happened? What’s the decision?”

“Lockdown, as I assumed would be the result, people aren’t listening to how serious this is, they don’t understand that the more they go out, the more people are going to catch this thing and more people are going to die from it,  it’s really the only solution if people aren’t going to listen”

“I understand, so when are you announcing it”

“this evening, I’m going to shower and change then head to my office. ive sent everyone home, Bastian insists he is staying in Valtoria with us, so it’s just me, you and Bastian, he is currently setting up the camera for the live feed”

Once he showered, he dressed in a crisp white shirt and black dress pants with a blazer.

“I won’t be long my love” Liam smiled as he kissed Riley then headed out for his office.

Once Liam reached the conference room, he greeted Bastian then sat himself down at his desk across from the big camera sitting in front of the desk.

“is everything set up?”

“yes, your Majesty, you go live in just under a minute, your statement is written out for you, just in case you need it”

“thank you, Bastian,”

“alright, you go live in 10 seconds” Bastian informed him from behind the camera.

Liam quickly fixed his collar then straightened up. as soon as he seen the light change on the camera he began.

“Ladies and Gentlemen of Cordonia. This is an Emergency announcement from your King. As you all know the corona virus is sweeping the nation. last week I gave the orders to self-isolate if you are a vulnerable person, and many people did, but not all, a few days ago, I gave orders to shut all non-essential business’ and to stay home where possible but again not all listened so as your King, as your leader, I have decided that the best course of action is to go into lockdown, you must know, I hate that I have to do this but if people aren’t going to take this seriously then more people will become infected and more people will die. I am going to lay down some rules that every person in Cordonia MUST follow until further notice. Number one…you must only leave your homes if absolutely necessary, this means, if you need supplies such as food, essentials that you most definitely cannot live without! Number two, you may leave your homes for exercise, once a day for one hour! if you need medications, I have organised for all medications to be delivered to homes, if you need to see a doctor…call the helpline that is on the screen right now, you will speak to qualified nurses, if the nurse decides you should be seen in person, you will then be allowed to leave your home and attend a doctors surgery or hospital. All in all this means you should only be leaving your homes if absolutely necessary The sooner the public follow these rules, the sooner this will start to go away, I don’t want to see groups of kids walking around outside, meeting up with their friends, I don’t want to see people joining in groups for any reason what so ever. Queen Riley and myself are self-isolating along with you, we know it’s going to be hard, sitting in your homes, not able to go outside, when it’s lovely and warm or going to see your friends, but spend this time wisely, be with your family’s, spend time with your husbands, your wives, your children and your parents, time that you wouldn’t be able to spend with them if you were out working or at school, we have seen what this virus has done to other countries, please don’t let this vile virus take control, I wish you all the best, stay healthy.”

Once Liam finished, he bid Bastian goodnight then headed back to his and Riley's quarters. Once he entered, he shut the door behind him, making his way towards the kitchen where Riley was getting herself some water. Liam walked in, wrapping his arms around her from behind.

“hey, I was thinking we could go to bed and put a movie on?” she smiled sympathetically as she seen how tired he was.

“you know I think that’s the best idea ive heard all week” he smiled

The two made their way to the bedroom, they done their usual night-time routines of washing their faces, brushing their teeth and such then the two took themselves to bed. it didn’t take long before the two of them were out cold.

Liam woke to a giggle coming from beside him, he opened one of his eyes just enough to see the time on the alarm clock on his bedside table. 3:00 am. He groaned as he turned over to be blinded by the light from Riley's phone.

“what are you laughing at? Its 2am Riley.”

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t sleep” she laughed as she carried on watching the video on her phone.

“are going to sleep at all tonight?”

“yeah I’m just putting it down.” Riley pressed the screen off then placed the phone on her bedside table then shuffled over to Liam, she yawned as she cuddled into his chest causing him to instinctively wrap his arms around her. “I’m sorry I woke you up” she whispered before placing a kiss to his skin.

“It’s alright, sweetie” he placed a kiss on top of her head before the two fell into a deep slumber

The next morning Liam awoke to an empty bed, he frowned at the empty space that his wife should have been in, she had no reason so be up this early as the country was currently on lockdown, they had no meetings or obligations, they would have the odd conference call but that was it. He stretched as he removed the duvet and climbed from the bed, pulling a pair of lounge pants on before heading towards out of the bedroom.

“Riley sweetie?” he called when he didn’t see her in the living room.

“I’m in the kitchen”

“Morning beautiful what are you doing up?” Liam asked as he made his way to her wrapping his arms around her from behind as she finished fixing the mugs of tea she was making.

“I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep, I hardly slept a wink all night.”

“oh really?” he asked as he nuzzled his head into the crook of Riley's neck.

“yeah, hey I’m sorry I woke you up this morning, I feel awful.” She sighed as she passed him one of the mugs of tea

“I told you this morning and I’ll tell you again now, it’s fine, don’t worry about it” he replied as he gently pressed a kiss to her lips. “I love you” he added

“I love You too” she smirked, the two made their way into the living room where they curled up on the sofa whilst catching up with the morning news on the television.

“I don’t know who pissed 2020 off but whoever was I hope karma comes around and kicks them in the ass!”

“I’ll toast to that!” Liam chuckled as he tapped his mug against Riley's.

“hey…I heard a joke on tiktok last night, when I couldn’t sleep oh my goodness…what was it again?” Riley went quiet for a minute then started laughing “oh god that was it…”

Liam smirked at how funny she found the joke; he sipped his tea as she went on to tell him.

“so little johnny’s sitting in class and the teacher says she has a math problem for him, she says, if there’s 5 birds sitting on a wire and little johnny shoots one how many’s left? So little johnny says none, the teacher says no, the answers four and johnny says no, the answers none ‘coz If I shot one the rest would fly away, the teacher says, I like the way you think.”

Liam looked at Riley confused but laughing at Riley trying to get her words out in between laughing.

“okay…” he smirked

“little johnny says, I got a question for you, if there’s three women sitting in a store eating ice cream cones and one of them is licking it, one of the is sucking it and the other is biting it, which ones married…so the th-the teacher HAHA the teacher hesitantly replies, well I guess the one sucking it and little johnny…oh my god…” just as Liam took a drink of his tea Riley finished the joke, “little johnny goes no, the one with the wedding ring, but I like the way you think.”

Liam spat his tea out as he went to laugh, he chuckled as he wiped his chin where his tea ended up.

“is that why you were laughing this morning?”

“yeah” she chuckled

“that’s hilarious”

“what times your conference call?” Riley asked him

“1pm”

“okay, do you want to have lunch out on the balcony before your meeting, it’s supposed to be really nice out today”

“I would love to”

By the time half 12 hit Liam and Riley had just finished their lunch and were sitting outside on the balcony, just getting some fresh air.

“y’know even though the reason the countries on lock down is bad, I’m so happy we get to spend some time together and it’s not rushed or last minute, we can just sit and be together” Liam smiled as he took Riley's hand across the table.

“I totally get it, the reason behind it is bad, but the time we’re gonna get to spend together is a blessing and we can’t take it for granted.”

When it was time for Liam to go, they both headed inside, he placed a gentle kiss on Riley's lips then headed down to his office, whilst Liam was at his conference call Riley curled up on the sofa scrolling through her phone.

It was just a short 45 minutes later that Liam returned to the apartment, Riley had fallen asleep on the sofa, with Bash, their protective corgi, curled up sleeping at her feet. Liam decided to get some paperwork out of the way whilst, Riley was sleeping.

It was just after 5 when Riley woke, she heard Liam in the kitchen, so she got up and made her way to him. when she walked in her was stood boiling the kettle to make some tea. Riley approached him from behind wrapping her arms around his torso and cuddling into his back.

“I love you Liam” she whispered tiredly

“I love you too” he smiled as he turned into her hold, placing a kiss on her lips. “do you want a cup of tea?”

“that would be great” she smiled

“did you sleep well?”

“I did! Better than last night anyway”

Once Liam made the tea, he passed Riley one of the mugs then the two sat at the kitchen table with them.

“I found another funny tik tok” Riley grinned

“alright, hit me with it” Liam smirked

“so…there’s a family with a little boy, driving behind a trash truck on the highway, suddenly a vibrator flies out and hits their windshield. To try and save their sons innocence the woman goes, oh that was a huge bug! And the little boy goes, damn mom how does a bug fly with a dick that big!”

Liam nearly choked on his drink; he slapped his hand on the table as he threw his head back laughing. “damn, who do you even follow on this thing” he laughed

 Riley climbed out of the shower, wrapping her towel around her, she dried herself off just as she went to lift the nightgown she had brought into the bathroom with her, she remembered she seen a trend of people walking out in front of their wife or husband naked to see what their reactions would be on tik tok, now of course, she wouldn’t be filming it but she knew it would be a lot of fun for the two of them, she smirked knowing what it will result in after Liam sees her. she walked out of the bathroom with her towel around her, she walked out of the bedroom and stood on the other side of the living room, Liam was sitting on the sofa with his back to her just about to finish up his call. Riley smirked as she unwrapped her towel, she slowly walked over towards the kitchen throwing the towel at Liam as she walked causing him to turn around. She smirked as she seen his face go from confused at the towel to his jaw dropping and nearly hitting the floor “damn baby” he mouthed as he watched her bare behind walking into the kitchen. She grabbed a glass of water to quench her thirst then as she turned around she seen Liam leaning over the end of the sofa so that he could see into the kitchen, Riley smirked with a wink as she headed into the room, swaying her hips as she walked past him, Liam stuck his arm out to stop her from going any further, he wrapped his arm around her legs gently pulling her closer to the sofa, he ran his hand up and down her leg.

“i-im…I’m sorry…I have to cut our conversation short” he quickly spoke into the phone. “I know but…it’s a matter of national emergency” he replied as he stood from the sofa, eyeing Riley's chest.

“ok…goodbye” he hung up then flung his phone onto the sofa with a grin on his face.

“are you ready?” he asked putting his hands on her waist as he leaned his head down, placing kisses along her jaw.

“ready for what, baby?” she sighed contently as she ran her fingers through his hair.

“for the wildest night of your life” he smirked as he reached down, hooking his arms at the back of her legs as he lifted her over his shoulder, receiving a happy squeal from her. He gently slapped her backside as he made his way to the bedroom with her.

[13-reasons-ideas]

Can’t Go Back Part 5

A few hours later, Dr. Marcus came out and let us know the surgery was successful. “Depending on how his body reacts to coming off the anaesthesia, you may be able to go home tonight. I’ll send him home with a prescription for pain medication. He will be in recovery for a while, but you can see him after he is back in his room.”

“That sounds great. Thank you, doctor.”

Scott and I sat and talked while we waited. He had refused to go to school or leave my side while Monty was in surgery or recovery. I sent him home when Monty was out of recovery and we knew everything was okay. Dr. Marcus called me into his room again to discuss things.

“Everything went well and I am confident you will make a full recovery if you stick to our recovery plan.”

“That’s great news. What is the plan exactly?” Monty asked.

“You will need to take it easy for the next little while. It's important to keep your leg elevated, apply ice to your knee and rest as much as possible. I would like you to be on crutches for anywhere from one to two weeks, if you have discomfort after two weeks, continue with crutches on and off for about two more weeks. Or until your discomfort has lessened. Around two to four weeks you can try to begin bearing weight on your leg but do not go too hard too fast. It’s about baby steps. You will also begin physical therapy around this time. Your therapist will recommend multiple times a week in the beginning to try and get as much range of motion back as possible. With continued therapy and care, I see no reason as to why you would be unable to return to playing sports in the time you would like. But that is only if you are careful and not ignoring what you are supposed to be doing.” “So in other words, my life will be PT and maybe walking at some point, for the next four to nine months?”

“Essentially, yes. I recommend ibuprofen or an anti-inflammatory for the pain, in addition to the icing schedule we discussed last night. Additionally, I understand you are newlyweds, but physical intimacy is going to have to take a backseat to healing.”

I squeezed Monty’s hand. I think that is the part he is going to take the most issue with. He looked at the doctor with sad eyes. It’s not like you’ll die of no sex dearest husband.

“I understand that may not be the best news, I was a newlywed once too. But once you have range of motion and can bear weight on your leg, we can discuss clearing you for that as well. I see no reason that it would be a four to six months before clearance item. Plus, do you really want to be the guy who re-tore his ACL having sex?”

Monty smirked. “No. You do not. It sounds cool, but it’s really not. Your friends will laugh at you.”

“Coach Kerba would kill you. Besides, we have the rest of our lives for that.” I added.

“I guess that’s fair.” He grumbled.

After some practice with the crutches, he was cleared to go home. I wasn’t really in the mood to cook anything, so I ordered us pizza when we got home, and Monty was situated on the couch with his leg elevated on a few pillows on the coffee table. I had a feeling he was going to make good on his vow to “annoy me for the rest of my life” in the coming weeks. I went to our room to change into pyjamas and put my wedding set on while we waited for the pizza to arrive.

It arrived shortly after and he made a face at my vegetable pizza, “don’t worry. I got you pepperoni. You don’t have to eat vegetables today.”

“Good.” He smiled and I plopped myself down on the couch. After arguing about what to watch for a while, we settled on a rerun of Law & Order: SVU. This one seemed less intense as some of the other episodes.

“So, everyone knows now.” I said, placing my fork down after finishing a slice of pizza.

“Yeah, they do. I still don’t understand why you eat pizza with a fork by the way.”

“You said you would stop giving me crap about it you jerk. And it’s only certain kinds when they’re hot. This one just happens to be one of them.” I laughed, poking his arm.

“Hey, I’m injured.” He protested; feigning being affronted.

“Your leg is injured. Your arm is fine.”

“Whatever.”

“Does this mean I can wear my set to school now?” I asked, pondering the idea as I twisted my engagement ring around.

“I was going to wear my ring, so I don’t see why you couldn’t wear yours.”

“Okay.” I kissed his cheek and cleared the dishes into the dishwasher. We spent the rest of the evening cuddled on the couch, arguing playfully about what to watch when one show ended.

I woke up the following morning wrapped in Monty’s arms. I don’t think I will ever get tired of this. I watched him sleep, snoring softly for a few minutes before our alarm went off. “hhuummggg.” Monty groaned.

“Babe, it’s time to wake up.”

“Nooo. Sleep.”

“I know but we need to go to school.”

“No.”

I sighed, “fine, I’ll tell you what. I’m going to go brush my teeth and make coffee. By the time I’m back in here, I would like you to at least be sitting up. Preferably, you would have pants on.”

“Mhmm. Yes dear.”

Shaking my head and throwing back the covers, I got up and went about my business. I decided to give him a couple more minutes to get himself up so I got dressed and grabbed a slice of pizza for each of us for lunch. When I got back in our room to check his progress, he was still snuggled up under the covers. “Montgomery. You need to get up.”

He let out a long sigh, “fine. If I have to.”

“You do. I’m not facing the music on my own. Leftover pizza okay for lunch?”

“Yeah that’s fine.” He grumbled, sleepily. I’m not entirely sure he knows what I asked him.

“Do you want an Advil?”

“No, I think I’m good for now. Thanks, though babe.” I watched him sit up and begin to get himself ready. I knew it was going to take him longer than usual, which is why I insisted he get up now. Once he had some coffee and toast in his system, he was a lot more personable. Before we left for school, I made sure to put on my wedding set. It felt odd to wear it in public, but also incredibly satisfying.

I drove us to school early to meet Scott and Justin for some moral support. “He let you drive the Jeep?” Scott asked as soon as I had parked, and we were out of the car.

“Well considering he physically can’t drive right now and the fact that if it gets in an accident, it’s also my problem, yes. He let me drive.”

“Even still. I’m surprised. How’re you feeling, man?”

“Eh, it hurts but it’s not like I can’t manage it.”

“Do you want an Advil?” I asked quickly.

“No Addy. I’m fine. And I can administer my own medication, I am an adult after all.”

“I know. I just don’t know how else to help is all.”

“I know. You make good coffee though. That helps.”

“Right, right. Coffee. That’s why you married her.” Justin laughed.

“Well if you really want to know why I married her….” Monty teased.

“La la la la la. I’m not listening.” Justin exclaimed, covering his ears.

It was still early, but we decided to make our way inside to our lockers anyway. The few people in the halls stopped to watch us with curious eyes. I was nervous to make eye contact with any of them, so I kept my head down. We were almost at my locker when a student got up the nerve to stop us and say something. I think his name was David or something. I recognized him from my ninth grade French class. “Hey. I was at the game and saw that hit. I’m sorry you got hurt.” He said to Monty. He blinked in surprise, none of our group expecting that kind of response. The kid turned his attention to me, and Monty moved in front of me slightly. “Use your wifely influence to make sure he’s on the sidelines at every game. Maybe then he can talk some sense into the team.” He looked down at my left hand, briefly examining my ring. “Good choice. See you guys around.” He nodded and waved as he walked away. The students around us stood silently. We were all stunned. After we broke out of our shock and shared amazed looks, the four of us made our ways to our lockers. Chatter had resumed once again but grew eerily silent as I gathered my books. They’re here.

Justin spoke up when he noticed my friends approaching, “she’s had a long couple of days guys.” Monty sucked in a breath, likely preparing to tell them to fuck off.

“We just want to talk to her.” Clay told Justin. They still hadn’t acknowledged me or Monty.

“I think you said enough the other night Clay.”

“Addison?” Alex prompted.

“Hmm?” I responded.

“Can we talk? Alone?”

“Depends. I’m pretty sure whatever you want to say to me can be said in front of them.”

“We’d really rather not….”

“I’m not sure if you realize this, but I’m injured. I can’t even stand up on my own. It’s not like I can hurt you or anything.”

“Still.”

“Fine. But just know that I’m going to tell him what you say anyway.”

“That’s fine.” Jessica said.

The boys took that as their cue to leave, but not before Monty leaned down to kiss me softly. “I’ll see you at lunch.” He muttered against my lips. I nodded. My friends looked uncomfortable and I heard Scott talking to Monty as they walked away.

“You smug bastard.”

I hadn’t noticed that Justin stayed behind until I felt his hand on my shoulder, causing me to jump. I was too focused on the impending explosions from my friends. Before they began, Tyler came up to our tense little group. Great. “Hey guys. Hey Addison.”

“Hi Tyler.” I greeted. “How are you?”

“I’m alright. How are you doing?”

“I’m alright.” My friends watched our exchange with their breath held. This is so awkward. Will somebody please mention the elephant in the hallway?

“You guys really did it?”

“Got married?” He nodded. Thank you. “Yeah. It’s all legal. New last name and everything. Publicly at least. Still waiting on all of the changes to be processed everywhere. Some places take longer than others.”

“Huh. Explains why he’s been so mellow lately.”

“You haven’t experienced getting him out of bed in the morning. But yes, for the most part he is pretty mellowed out.”

“Interesting. I have to go meet Mack in the dark room. Bye guys.”

“Bye Tyler.” We all said. There was an awkward pause.

“Did… that really just happen?” Clay asked.

“I think so?” Jessica replied.

“Maybe he realizes he doesn’t have a say in who I spend the rest of my life with.” I muttered.

“Well he’s not exactly your best friend in the world Addy.” Alex said. I shrugged and saw Zach coming towards us. Hopefully he takes this okay.

“You got freaking married and didn’t tell anyone?” He asked, immediately after arriving at my locker.

“She told me.” Justin offered. I shot him a glare. Thanks for the help dipwad.

“Yeah.” I said, lamely. It’s not like I could deny it at this point.

“Why? I mean, he’s Monty.”

“Thanks Zach. I hadn’t noticed the identity of my husband.” I replied.

“That’s not what I meant. I mean, you married Monty Addison.”

“And your point is, what exactly?”

“He’s nothing like you.” Clay said.

“Which brings me back to, your point is…?”

“He isn’t the relationship and marriage type.”

“Well, evidently, he is. I have the diamond and the paperwork to prove it,” showing them my ring to prove my point. I was slowly growing tired of their loosely veiled distaste for my choice.

“He’s an asshole to like everyone. He doesn’t like any- did he pick that?” Jess stated.

“Yeah, he did. I was there. He saw it and knew it was the one.” Justin replied.

“It’s so… nice. And big.”

“Thank you? And it’s not that big. Its only point seven five carats. He said she said something about the setting making it look bigger than it actually is.”

“Wow. I didn’t have him pegged as a guy who knew diamonds.”

“I don’t think he did. But he knows how to pick ‘em.”

“I’ll say. Anyway, as I was saying. He’s an ass. To everybody. All the time.”

“Not to me.”

“Well you’re apparently married to him.” Clay grumbled, haughtily.

“Even before we got together, he wasn’t an ass to me. We weren’t friends by any means, but he wasn’t really that much of an ass.”

“Lucky you.”

“Clay, lay-” Justin started.

“Okay. If you’re just going to be a dick about this, then we don’t need to have this conversation Clay.” My friends blinked at me in shock. Clay looked at me harshly for a second before coming to his senses and looking at me like a dog with his tail between his legs.

“I’m sorry Addison. This is just kind of a big shock. You got married and didn’t tell any of us. Yes Justin, we know you knew.”

“I told you not to be an ass to her about this the other night. I told you she wouldn’t take any of your crap.”

“How did this all happen?”

“It’s a long story.”

“When did this all happen?”

“One of Bryce’s parties in tenth grade….” I trailed off.

“You’ve been together for almost two years and never said anything to us?

“Yes?”

“Don’t ever let us tell you you cant keep a secret again.” Zach said.

“I still don’t understand why Addison?” Alex asked, trying to be civil but I could hear the undercurrent of anger in his tone.

“I can’t really explain why I chose him Alex. Sometimes there is no explanation. I didn’t start dating him at sixteen like ‘I’m going to marry this guy.’ It was just fun in the beginning. The forbidden-ness of it all was thrilling. And then the longer it went on, I started to think that maybe this was right for me. For us.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

“I mean, I wanted to. Until we told Justin I had every intention of telling you. But then I was hit with a reality check. Realistically, Justin only took it as well as he did because I’m his best friend. I knew you guys would be mad and freak out, just like you are now. Don’t even try to deny it. You would have.”

“Even still. We would have been mad, but we would have come around Addy.” Clay said.

“Really? It took like eight years for you to like Justin and he literally had to live with you for that to happen. You expect me to believe that you would have been okay with me dating Monty?”

“Maybe…?” He squeaked.

“Exactly. So it was just easier not telling you guys. Or anyone aside from our parents and select people.”

“You told his parents?”

“Yup.” I said, checking my watch. “But that is a story for another day, I’m afraid. I have to get to class.”

“It better be a story for another day. I want to hear how that went.” Alex said, excited by the prospect of that story. That wasn’t the exciting one yet, bud.

“So does this mean things are okay for now?” My friends nodded.

“Yeah. I take it you’re sitting with him at lunch?”

“Yeah.”

“We will see you around Mrs. de la Cruz.” Zach smirked. I rolled my eyes at him.

“Not my mother-in-law. Addy is fine.” With that, Justin and I walked away. It wasn’t the best conversation and it certainly wouldn’t be the last, but it was better than I think any of us were anticipating.

People stared at me in class and I heard a couple of comments that weren’t worth repeating about various aspects of our relationship, but it could have been a much worse few hours. When I arrived in the cafeteria and made my way over to where Monty and the rest of the team had congregated, I could tell something was up. Monty was sitting, his leg elevated on the seat across from him, wearing a very displeased look on his face. The group looked up at me and back to him.

“What?” I asked.

“I think he grabbed your lunch by mistake.” Charlie chuckled.

“What are you talking about?” I asked again as I sat down and pulled out what I thought was my lunch. When I opened it and saw a slice of pepperoni, I understood what the problem was. “Oh, I see. I’ll trade you if I can have your fruit snacks.”

“You don’t like fruit snacks. And technically they’re our fruit snacks.”

“Exactly why I said your fruit snacks. You hide them in the cart and think I don’t notice until I make lunch. Here.” I said as we traded lunches. I smiled as a pulled out my leftovers.

“What is that?” Garrison asked, staring at the slice.

“Vegetable pizza.”

“And he looked like you tried to feed him wet dog food because, why exactly?”

I turned to Monty, “would you like to explain why you don’t like it? Or shall I?”

“No. It’s fine. I just don’t like it.”

I laughed out loud at his response, “it’s because it has vegetables on it. He doesn’t like vegetables.”

“I like vegetables. Sometimes.”

“It wouldn’t kill you to eat them once in a while, you know.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know.” He sighed and chucked a fruit snack at me. I turned to his friends.

“I married a nineteen-year-old child.”

“Yes. Yes you did.”

His teammates and I chatted for a while pleasantly until Bryce showed up. They seemed to take a very quick liking to me. “Hey guys. Addison.”

“Walker.” I replied as the kids around table chimed in heys of varying tone.

“So, it really wasn’t Justin. Didn’t think you would let Monty here get within ten feet of you by yourself, let alone be close enough to have-.”

I squeezed Monty’s hand tightly to keep him in check and he winced. Michael opened his mouth to step in, but I beat him to it, “wasn’t your business then. Not your business now. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’re only so interested in my sex life because you wish it was you.”

Garrison choked on his water and coughed while the other boys around him watched our interaction with various looks of shock and amusement on their faces. “Interested in sex… with you?”

“You heard me.”

“I’d think long and hard about your next comment Bryce.” Monty told him, darkly.

“Oh really?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m your brother.”

“And she’s my wife.”

“Dude what about bros before-.”

Once again, he was cut off, this time by Charlie. “Are you that fucking dumb? Are you trying to get your ass kicked?” Bryce simply looked at him, his head tilted slightly.

“He can’t do anything to me. His leg is screwed. Sorry you got hurt by the way.”

“Awe Scotty. He thought I meant Monty. Isn’t that sweet?”

“The sweetest.” Scott replied, holding his hand to his heart.

“No. I don’t mean him. I meant her.”

Bryce looked at me, sitting sweetly slowly eating my granola bar. “Uh huh. Her. Right.” My gaze turned dark and my brow arched, threateningly.

“Try me. I may be small, but that just makes it easier for me to hit you where it hurts.”

He gulped. “O-okay. Sorry. Comments will be kept to myself.”

Monty turned his attention to me and smiled lovingly. I smiled brightly back at him and watched as he picked up one of Michael’s grapes and chucked it at me. I barely had time to move to catch it in my mouth to avoid being hit in the eye. “Why you little….”

“You love me.”

“I do.” I sighed, dreamily. While I had him caught off guard, I threw his fruit snack back at him. I hit his head and landed in his lap. He turned and looked at me, a look of fake shock and anger on his face.

“And she calls him a child.” Garrison muttered.

“You should see them when they try to decide on a movie or tv show to watch. It’s literally like watching five-year-old kids argue over their favourite toy.” Scott muttered back.

“Or when she tries to get him out of bed in the mornings. She has to literally bribe him sometimes. Calls me other times to physically remove him from the bed.” Charlie added.

“Almost called you this morning actually.” I said.

“I wasn’t that bad. And you were asking a lot of me Addy.”

“Montgomery. I asked you to sit up and put pants on.”

“I had surgery on my leg Addison.”

“And yet, you had no issue putting pants on when we left the hospital darling.”

“That was different.”

“How?”

“It wasn’t the morning then.”

I looked at his friends, a dumbstruck look on my face. “Everyday. The only time he didn’t object to getting up was the one day on our honeymoon I wanted to sleep in.”

“I was promised Curio Coffee waffles. The way you and your parents raved about them, I assumed they were something special. They were by the way.”

“I said nothing about waffles at five in the morning on a Saturday.” Monty grumbled unintelligibly in response as the bell rang.

“Fuck. If I knew lunch with you two was going to be this entertaining, I would have made you tell people a long time ago.” Scott laughed.

“You’ve been keeping a gem from us Monty. You’re welcome to sit and share stories anytime Addy.” Garrison told me.

[colbylover99]

CHAPTER TWO/ ‘just like you’ series

We were all on the plane sitting quietly while we waited to land. I had my favorite book in my lap reading it for the third time this week. ‘’Besides you being a nerd genius like Spencer, tell us about yourself’’ I heard Derek asked me I raised my eyebrow looking at him ‘’There isn’t much to tell about me at all. I mostly kept to myself’’ Morgan chuckled shuffling in his seat ‘’so does Pretty boy here’’ he teased Spencer he looked up from the case file eyeing Morgan he looked over at me once more then turned back to the file. I sighed, shaking my head, not going to say one word towards him I knew Spencer inside and out we both once loved each other so much, but the one thing I know about him is to let him come to me.

‘’When we land I want fresh minds on this case’’ Hotch announced as the plan started to land softly. I gently put my book in my bag that was around my shoulder following the team out the plan towards some black cars. ‘’What I don’t understand is why burn a family in their own house?’’ JJ asked with disgust on her face. ‘’Well the unsub probably has family issues that would cause him to harm families and probably has a history of playing with fire that would probably explain that’’ I pointed out looking through the case.

‘’She isn’t wrong. But that’s probably all we got until we talked to the mother’’ Gideon pointed out.

‘’I want Emily, and Nevaeh to come with me. While Reid, Derek go with Gideon’’ Hotch gave us strict instructions. I looked at Emily smiling. She halfway smiled looking back out the window. When we arrived at the hospital the head surgeon of mrs. Adams surgery. ‘’Listen this lady has been through alot. Smoke has gotten into her lungs and she has severe burn injuries. I tried telling her when she woke up that her family didn’t make it but she passed right back. I would consider not telling her she isn’t going to live long’’ the surgeon told us honestly.

I put my hands on my hips looking through the glass door at Mrs. Adams had burns on her right side of her body; parts weren't as burnt as the rest but I couldn’t imagine her pain. ‘’She wants us to lie to her?’’ Emily shockingly said as we entered the room .

‘’I mean the doctor did say she isn’t going to live much any longer. I mean most burn patients that serve burns doesn’t live that long at all 10% out of them survive, so we don’t have much longer to get as much out of her as we can.’’ I Stated to them Hotch nodded his head walking in Mrs. Adams me and Emily right behind him. ‘’Mrs. Adams I am agent Hotch, this is Agent Emily and Doctor Agent Wood’’ he told her gently showing her our badges. She slowly opened her eyes, wincing in pain. ‘’My baby’’ she whispered, turning her head gently, probably trying her hardest best not to cause her anymore pain. ‘’Ma’am we would like to ask you a few questions?’’ I asked her gently she nodded her head looking at me ‘’What did you do before you go to bed, was there anything out of the ordinary happened?’’ I asked her to bring out my little notebook and write down some notes.

‘’Before I went to bed I was going to go brush my teeth but the water wasn’t running so I told my husband’’ she breathed heavily ‘’After he fixed the water we all went to bed’’.

Emily moved closer to her giving her a warm smile making her feel as comfortable as possible ‘’A little bit after that my son walked in our room shouting fire. We tired to make it out the door but it was jammed...before I passed out I saw a guy...in a suit’’ she huffed ‘’is my family okay?’’ she asked us once more her eyes became heavy. Hotch sighed’’they are in the waiting room’’ he lied straight through his teeth. Mrs. Adams smiled weakly before she shut her eyes, falling eyes, falling back asleep.

Hotch motioned for us to walk out of the room. I looked at her one last time and then followed them out of the hospital “I don’t understand why we had to lie to her?” Emily asked Hotch he brought out his phone looking at her “she was dying she didn’t deserve that kind of news” he honestly told her He held up a finger walking away talking to Gideon on the phone about some information we have gotten. “Mrs.Adams said she told her husband that the water wasn’t working right?” Emily nodded her head looking at me “well as far as we know none of the family has caused the fire, she said she saw a guy in a suit. As the husband was walking outside to check on his water that’s probably when the unsub snuck inside” I said turning towards Hotch he nodded his head looking at us.

“So we have to head to the station, that's where we are going to meet everyone” he told us. I nod my head writing down a few ideas and information that would be very important, as I was following Emily and Hotch to the car.

When we got to the police station Spencer was already looking over the evidence everyone has already gotten. ‘’I have a theory, when we were talking to Mrs. Adams told us that the water was cut off when she was trying to brush her teeth, so she sent her husband outside to check on it so that’s when the unsub sneaked inside. They waited till the family was asleep, then bam! Fire” I announced. Morgan nodded his head looking at everyone.

“So this guy would have had a bad history with family since why he is only picking families. So either something happened to his family to cause him killing them all” Spencer said as he examined the board more. I agreed sitting down in a chair. “Okay chief get everyone together so we can announce what we have so far” Hotch told the chief he nodded his head leaving the room finding the rest of his team. I sighed taking down my hair running my fingers through it “you grew out your hair” Spencer said. Behind me I turned around smiling gently at him. ‘’I guess I needed some change, Spencer, we do need to talk later I want to explain. Please.’’ I whispered to you. He looked around to make sure no one was around. He sat down looking at me ‘’Hilly...you were supposed to meet me there. But you didn't. I thought something bad happened to you but after you sent me that letter. I never loved anyone else.’’ he honestly told me.

I remember everything that happened 6 years ago between us but I never wrote him a letter at all. That's what made me more curious I was about to say something back to him but everyone finally came back.

‘’Okay since everyone is here we are looking for a male that is in his 30 to 40 years.’’ Hotch started.

‘’He really isn’t good around families he keeps to himself a lot. So please keep out for anything like that’’ every cop, detective finished writing down notes and got back to work.

‘’Agents there was another Fire!’’ The chief announced towards us ‘’it’s on Hamptons street, we better get there fast’’ Hotch said I stood up in my seat grabbing my hairband putting my hair up in a ponytail following the team out to the cars.

*************************************************************************************************************

We finally pulled up to the crime scene Firemen was putting out the fire that surrounded the house. I got out of the car taking off my sunglasses shaking my head ‘’It was just a father and their kids. From what we were told they were stuck in the car’’ Chief told us.

‘’Was there a wife?’’ I asked as I looked around the crime scene trying to find some kind of evidence to help us. “Not that we know of,” they answered back.

“Okay well why change the pattern now?” Morgan asked me to shrug my shoulders, not saying one word. ‘’Call Gracia to ask if she can find any case about a house fire in this town before the killings started’’ I looked at Derek he nodded his head pulling out his cell phone walking away.

‘’You’re onto something?’’ Spencer said I shrugged my shoulders walking back to the vehicle leaning against the door ‘’I was thinking this unsub obviously has family problems, and he only likes to kill family of fours. So what I was thinking this killer was in some kind of accident to get him to just kill innocent families’’

Emily walked towards me crossing her arms ‘’you’ve been here for a whole day and you’re already on top of it girl’’ I chuckled shrugging my shoulders.

‘’We got something.’’ Morgan announced to everyone.

[whumphoarder]

Viral Wisdom

Summary: When Peter’s dentist decides the kid’s impacted wisdom teeth need to go, Tony offers to have the surgery done at the compound. Honestly, Peter is looking forward to it. After all, he’s seen the viral videos—he’s pretty sure he knows what to expect.

What could possibly go wrong?

Word count: 2700

Genre: Hurt/comfort, whump, minor surgery, fluff

A/N: Thanks to @sallyidss and @xxx-cat-xxx for beta reading!

Link to read on Ao3

“You’ve gotta video it, Mr. Stark,” Peter says between bites of the pizza he’s currently wolfing down as part of what he and Tony have jokingly dubbed ‘The Last Supper’. The kid will be getting all four of his wisdom teeth removed at eight o’clock sharp the next morning, and being a teenage boy with an absurdly fast enhanced metabolism means Peter has decided the twelve-hour mandatory fasting period before surgery will be the worst part of the whole procedure.

Tony raises his eyebrows in mock offense. “Oh I’ve gotta, do I?”

Peter grins. “Yup,” he says, popping the ‘p’. “It’s gonna be awesome. Ned’s cousin got hers out last December, and when she woke up she was so high from the anesthesia that she started accusing the dentist of stealing her teeth and selling them to the tooth fairy on the black market.” He sticks the last bite of his pizza slice in his mouth. “Her mom filmed it and the video went like, viral.”

“You know,” Tony remarks. “Hate to burst your bubble, kid, but I got my wisdom teeth out during my senior year at MIT and I don’t remember anything like this happening. Just a lot of eating applesauce and mashed potatoes while resembling Alvin the Chipmunk.”

“No, no it’s a thing,” Peter insists. “These videos are like, everywhere. I saw this one where this lady woke up and forgot she was married but suddenly noticed her wedding ring and started freaking out, thinking her husband had just proposed. But they had been married already for like, three years.”

Shaking his head, Tony huffs. “You are literally a superhero with a secret identity and you think it’s a good idea to get wildly high on medication and then have me film whatever crap comes out of your mouth so you can post it on, what, Facebook?”

“Ha, Facebook,” Peter snorts as he reaches for another slice. “Good one, Mr. Stark. No one uses Facebook anymore.”

X

The next morning, Peter’s not looking quite as excited as he was the previous night. He sits beside Tony in a plastic chair just inside the compound’s Medbay, anxiously texting back and forth with Ned as they wait for the SHIELD appointed oral surgeon and his assistant to finish prepping the procedure room.

When Peter’s dentist decided several weeks back that the impacted teeth had to go, Tony and May agreed it would have to be done at the compound. Peter’s enhanced physiology means that the dosage of anesthesia required to put him out could also take down a moderately-sized elephant. HIPAA protection or not, Tony would rather not have any raised eyebrows from standard medical professionals.

“You hanging in there?” Tony asks casually. The kid’s foot hasn’t stopped tapping once since they sat down and he’s wondering if Peter’s beginning to regret telling May he’d be fine doing this solo while she’s at work. “Ready to make, what is it then, Vine history?”

That remark elicits a short laugh from Peter. “Vine’s dead, Mr. Stark,” he informs. “It was the true tragedy of this generation.”

Tony sighs, exasperated. “Is it YouTube then? Reddit?”

Peter just shrugs. “Something like that.” His gaze lowers back to his lap and he fires off another text to Ned.

FRIDAY’s voice comes over the speakers, so sudden that it startles the kid and nearly causes him to drop the phone: “Dr. Jacobson is ready for you now, Peter.”

“Oh. Already? Wow, okay,” Peter babbles. “Not even 8:00 yet, no need to rush...” he complains as he pockets the phone.

Tony checks his watch. “It’s 7:58, kid,” he scoffs, getting to his feet. “Perks of being the only patient in the building.”

After a second’s hesitation, Peter stands as well and Tony frowns at the shakiness he observes. “You good?” he checks, lightly gripping the kid’s elbow just in case he decides to channel his inner Victorian lady. “I know your blood sugar’s gotta be low, but I promise, as soon as this is over, it’s all the ice cream and pudding you want.”

“Oh, yeah, that’ll be good,” Peter says half-heartedly.

Tony gives his back a little prod to encourage him toward the door. “C’mon kid. Let’s get a move on. Upward and onward and all that jazz...”

Swallowing hard, Peter begins shuffling forward with Tony guiding him along. “So, I’ve never, um, actually had anesthesia before,” he admits. “And, like, what if something… goes wrong?"

Tony softens, for the first time seeing the actual fear lurking beneath Peter’s façade. “Don’t worry—these guys know what they’re doing,” he assures, giving the kid’s shoulder a squeeze. “You’re gonna be fine.”

Lips pursed, Peter nods a few times. “Yeah. Yeah of course. Okay. I guess I’ll just, go on back there and, uh...“

“Do you want me to stay until they put you under?” Tony offers.

A look of relief instantly washes over Peter and he nods vigorously before stopping to quickly add in a tone of forced nonchalance, “But like, only if you don’t mind.”

Tony chuckles. “I think I can swing it.”

X

The IV placement is a little rough. Peter’s never been a fan of needles, but Tony distracts him by telling him to close his eyes and recite the second row of the periodic table. Once the saline is flowing, the assistant places an oxygen cannula under his nose.

Peter glances up at the dentist. “So, have you ever had someone say something, like, really inappropriate when they wake up?” he asks.

Jacobson chuckles drily. “Oh yes. I actually have a very amusing anecdote about that.”

Both Tony and Peter look at him expectantly, but the doctor just continues preparing his instruments.

“So, uh, what happened?” Peter asks finally.

Jacobson’s eyes narrow. “That is confidential information.”

Peter blinks at him. “Oh. Uh, of course.”

While the surgeon moves over to grab something from the counter, the assistant—a woman probably in her early thirties whose name badge reads ‘Megan’—gives a small laugh. “Don’t worry,” she says. “It can’t make you say anything you weren’t already thinking on some level.”

Peter gulps. “Great.” Turning to Tony, he says, “Uh, you know, on second thought, maybe we don’t need this on video…”

Tony huffs out a laugh. “Oh no, no take backs. In about an hour, you’ll be trending on Twitter. Or wherever the hell this is going.”

Before Peter can say anything, Megan gives a warning of, “Alright, here we go.” Then she injects the anesthesia into the IV port.

The effect is nearly instantaneous. “Whoa…” Peter mutters, shooting his mentor a nervous look. “Feels… weird.”

“You’re fine, Pete,” Tony promises. “I’ll be waiting right outside until you wake up.”

“Yeah…” he breathes out, eyelids drooping. “And ’s’goin’ on Instagram, Mr. Stark…”

A few moments later, the kid is out.

X

“Boss, the surgery is complete,” FRIDAY’s voice comes over the speakers in the waiting area. “The extractions went well. Peter has just regained consciousness and has been transferred to the recovery area.”

“Thanks, FRI.” Getting to his feet from the plastic chair, Tony closes out of the Minesweeper app on his phone and opens the camera one instead. “Guess it’s showtime…”

Already filming, Tony pushes open the door and makes his way back to the small room off to the side of the procedure area. Peter is sitting propped up on a cot as Megan drapes a blanket over him. Tightly rolled wads of cotton are sticking out of his mouth and his eyes are droopy and unfocused.

The assistant gives Tony a small smile. “He did great,” she assures in a quiet voice. “We’ll be right in the other room cleaning up if you need anything.”

“Thanks,” Tony tells her before turning his attention back to Peter and pulling up one of the stools to sit on. “Hey kid,” he greets. “How’s life with four gaping holes in your face?”

“Uhhh… M’s’r St’rk?” Peter manages to mumble, blinking a few times.

“The one and only,” Tony replies, his camera still trained on the kid. “Any dental conspiracy theories you wanna share with the audience? Declarations of affection you care to make?”

Peter’s face screws up into a weak sort of frown. “Wha…?”

Tony shakes his head slowly, chuckling to himself. “See, what’d I tell you, kid? Anesthesia just isn’t that exciting.”

“Uhhgg…” Peter groans, blinking again. The kid’s expression of utter confusion coupled with his already swelling cheeks is honestly adorable. “I-I don’t… I feel weird, I…”

Smirking, Tony focuses the camera a little closer on Peter’s face, ready to film whatever drug-induced ramblings pour forth from the kid’s lips.

But then all of a sudden, he’s watching tears well up in Peter’s eyes.

Tony’s grin falters. “Pete?”

“Oh god…” Peter draws in a shuddering breath, which comes back out in a choked sob. “I-I didn’... I can’t… I don’ like this...”

All traces of humor immediately dissolve from Tony. ��Whoa, hey, you’re alright,” he says. As Peter continues to cry, Tony turns off the camera and shoves the phone back into his jacket pocket. Scooting closer to the bed, he takes the kid’s hand. “You’re fine, you’re okay.”

“I-I don’ feel... I, uh...” Peter chokes out between sobs. A bloody wad of cotton falls out of his mouth, which only causes him to cry harder. “Wh-Why ’m I bleedin’?” he cries.

“You just had a few teeth out, no biggie,” Tony assures. He grabs a fresh cotton roll from the table and sticks it in the kid’s mouth. “You’re fine, bud, I promise.”

Still crying, Peter manages to spit out, “Am I... is this… real?”

Tony’s heart clenches, going back to Titan, back to Peter being trapped for five years in some kind of altered state of consciousness. He’s kicking himself for not having realized sooner that something like this might freak him out.

“Ah, kid…” Tony sighs. “Yes, this is real. You’re real. You’re right here with me,” he promises, rubbing his hand up and down over the kid’s arm.

Suddenly Peter’s breath hitches in his throat. “‘m gonna throw up,” he chokes out.

The warning is immediately followed by an unproductive gag. Tony mutters a curse, jumping up and grabbing a plastic emesis basin from the counter. He barely manages to get it under Peter’s chin before the kid makes good on his threat.

“Hey, hey, easy, easy...” Tony says, switching to hold the bin with one hand and place the other on Peter’s back. He winces in sympathy at the bloody cotton and red-tinged strings of bile Peter is spitting out between sobs; he can only imagine how much that has to hurt. “FRIDAY, can you get the doc back in here?” he asks in a low voice.

Pulling in a shuddering breath, Peter glances up from the basin, eyes wide and fearful. “I th-threw up b-blood,” he whimpers, horrified. “...’m I dyin’?”

Aw fuck. “No, no of course not. It’s just from your mouth,” Tony explains, much more calmly than he feels.

The door reopens and Megan is the first to enter. She gives Peter a sympathetic smile as she steps into the room. The surgeon appears a few steps behind, looking totally unfazed by the teary, vomiting teen in the chair before him.

“Ah,” he says with a nod. His tone is factual, though not unkind. “We have a crier.”

“This just happens sometimes, nothing to worry about,” Megan quickly assures. She takes the bin from Tony and hands him an empty one before carefully wiping the tears and vomit off Peter’s face with a paper towel. “Anesthesia can have all kinds of different effects on people.”

Jacobson hums in agreement as he checks Peter’s mouth to ensure his stitches are still holding before giving him fresh gauze to stem the bleeding. The tears have stopped now and embarrassment seems to be rapidly replacing fear as the kid’s primary emotion. Unsure of what else to do, Tony just continues rubbing Peter’s back.

“Everything looks fine,” Jacobson concludes after a moment of looking him over. “You can take him back upstairs now. He’ll probably feel calmer once he’s in a familiar setting.”

Tony doesn’t need to be told twice. “Sounds good,” he says, grabbing the paper Megan hands him with the discharge instructions as he helps Peter to his feet. “Alright bud,” he says quietly. “Let’s blow this popsicle stand.”

X

After getting Peter situated on the couch in the common area, Tony heads to the kitchen and returns with a tray of soft food selections to offer the kid.

“What are you feeling?” he asks, pointing to each food in turn. “Yogurt? Ice cream? Applesauce? Pudding?”

Peter blinks twice at him. “...Butterscotch puddin’?” he asks hopefully.

Tony scoffs. “No, because I’m not eighty. I’ve got chocolate or vanilla.”

“Oh.” Peter’s face falls. “Don’ want anythin’ then…”

“Nope, not an option,” Tony declares. “You have to take your super spidey-kid painkillers soon and I don’t want them to make you sick.”

“But I ‘ready got sick…” Peter moans.

“And it wasn’t fun, was it?” Tony reasons. “Which is why we’re trying to avoid that.”

“But ‘m not hungry…” Peter whines, turning his head away from his mentor to face the cushion, causing the ice pack to side down from his cheek. “Jus’ wanna sleep…”

Tony peels the lid off one of the vanilla pudding cups and scoops up a spoonful. “C’mon, Pete.” He says, holding it in front of the kid’s closed mouth. “You’re not gonna make me do the airplane thing, are you? Because I will definitely be filming that.”

“Uhhh… no...” Peter groans, finally taking the spoon from him. “No more internet…”

X

It’s been several hours now since Tony managed to bully the kid into choking down enough pudding to take his meds before letting him fall asleep. Aside from the obvious swelling, Peter’s looking far better for having had the nap.

“How are you feeling now?” Tony asks, handing Peter a fresh ice pack.

Peter accepts it from him and presses it to his comically large cheek. “Mortified,” he mumbles. “This is so not going on Instagram…”

Tony huffs out a laugh. “I don’t know, maybe it should. Like a PSA of sorts for all the kids out there looking to be the next viral sensation.”

“Wonderful,” Peter mutters, rolling his eyes.

Tony pats him on the shoulder. “You know, while you were out, I was looking up some of those videos you mentioned. I see the attraction. Did you watch the one where the black med student called pickled eggs a ‘hood snack’?”

Peter nods.

“Or the red-haired teenager who woke up thinking he was a gangster in Dubai?” Tony goes on.

“Classic,” Peter mutters.

“Or the girl who wanted to go swimming in the painting on the office wall so she could see the fishes?”

Peter waves a hand dismissively. “Yeah, yeah…”

“I’m telling you kid, I think there’s a market here…”

X

It’s two days later that Tony finally breaks down and shows the kid the video Rhodey took of him back in ‘87, burned directly off the VHS into FRIDAY’s archives:

A teenage Tony Stark sits on the floor of his dorm room, slumped against a twin-sized mattress. His cheeks are swollen to twice their usual size and drool is running down his chin onto the graph paper notebook he’s scribbling feverishly into.

“Tony, you gotta eat something so you can take your meds, dude,” Rhodey’s voice comes over the recording from off-screen.

“Go ‘way…” Tony groans, waving him off irritably. “‘m busy solvin’ th’… prob’em…”

Rhodey breathes out a heavy sigh. “Okay, for the last time, you can’t ‘solve’ the second law of thermodynamics.” He pauses for a beat. “Especially with a purple crayon.”

Tony looks up at him, eyes unfocused, and gives an almost evil grin. “Maybe you can’t but… I’m… ‘m’ really smart…” He blinks twice, then giggles. “m’ Tony Fuckin’ Stark…”

“Yeah, yeah, and Tony Fucking Stark needs to take his meds...” Rhodey mutters. “So what’s it gonna be, dude? Yogurt or applesauce?”

Tony’s face screws up in apparent thought before he mumbles, “A cheese’urger,” he decides. “Then I solve… gravity.”

Fic Masterlist

For more soft Irondad fics, try:

Dad Level: 3000

You Broke Tony

Sweet Potatoes & Stitches

[avengerscompound]

The Unicorn - Chapter 27

The Unicorn:  A Pepperony Fanfic

Series Masterlist PREVIOUS  //

Buy me a coffee with Ko-fi Word Count:    1747

Pairing:  Tony Stark x F!Reader x Pepper Potts

Warnings:  birth stuff!

Synopsis:  Tony Stark finally gets his happy ending.

Chapter 27

It was a weird sensation bringing you home from the medbay and not the twins.  That’s the way these things went sometimes.  They were very small and needed extra care.  You, on the other hand, recovered from the surgery pretty quickly and could go home within the week.  You were struggling with it.  The babies not being there was an obvious missing piece.  You had been pregnant and now you weren’t but there were no babies in your arms or waking you at four in the morning for changing.

Thankfully they were close.  The medbay wasn’t the same as most parents who had to drive to the hospital and back.  It was a walk.  Not even a long one.  So the three of you would see them regularly.  You’d go down multiple times a day and attempt breastfeeding.  You’d all take turns holding them until the nurses told you the needed to go back in their incubators.

Tony was counting down to the day he got to bring them home.

Not that this was home.  The house was ready for the six of you to move into.  It just was not happening while the twins were in intensive care.  Even if he wanted to move in there without them, there was no way he could convince you or Pepper to leave.   Not that he wanted to.

So now the only question was, which would happen first?  The twins coming home, or Morgan being born.

The answer came at the twins two week birthday.  You had been told they could go home the following day.  Pepper’s first labor pains hit just before dinner.

“Is this it?”  He asked as he jumped up and began to rub her back.

She shook her head.  “Don’t know.  Probably Braxton hicks.   It’s still a little early.”

“Yeah.  I guess so.”  He said and kissed her stomach.  “You be patient, Morgan.”

“Yeah, like that’s what you really want.”  You teased.

He smirked up at you.  “I want him to be healthy.”

“I know you do.”  You said.  “And?”

“And here.”  He admitted.  “I want them all to come home.”

“We know you do.”  Pepper said and kissed the top of his head.  “But we’re gonna be patient.  The twins will be home tomorrow.”

“Yeah.  I guess they will.”

You punched his arm.  “That’s all the enthusiasm you can muster?”

By eleven it was clear Pepper was well and truly in labor.  The pains weren’t anywhere regular yet, but they were becoming more so each time and more painful.  She tried to sleep between them but by one in the morning, it was proving impossible.

You and Tony took turns either pacing the room with her or rubbing her back.  By two she had retreated to the shower where Tony held the shower head against her lower back and she just leaned on your stomach dozing between contractions.

She moved to the bath at three.

Even as exhausted and as much as he hated seeing Pepper in all this pain, he was excited.  It wouldn’t be much longer and Morgan would be in his arms.

By seven they had decided to take Pepper down to the delivery suites.

A medical team met with her, though Doctor Singh was not among them.  She wouldn’t arrive until closer to delivery and according to the nurses, that was still several hours away.

So she went back to pacing.  Sometimes Tony supporting her.  Sometimes you.  “You aren’t weak if you need drugs you know?”  You said gently.

“I don’t need drugs.”  Pepper snapped not breaking her stride.

“Okay, honey.  You’re the strongest person I know.”  Tony said rubbing her back.

“Damn right I am,”  Pepper said.

It was six more hours of labor.  You had had to go feed the twins 3 times in the total time Pepper was in labor.  By the time it reached the transition Pepper had stripped off naked, her clothes just dropped where she decided they were annoying her too much.

Doctor Singh came into the room as Pepper doubled over leaning on the side of the bed.  “I think he might be coming, Ms. Potts.”  She said.  “Did you want to get more comfortable.”

“No.  I am comfortable.”  Pepper snapped.

Doctor Singh chuckled and moved behind her crouching down as she did an examination on her.  “You’re sure this is how you want to deliver?”

“Yes.  Get him out of me!”  Pepper cried her hands digging into the mattress of the bed.

Doctor Sing sighed.  “Okay.  Well, you need to listen closely.  Only push when I say.”

Pepper nodded and gritted her teeth and you and Tony wiped her brow and rubbed her back.

“Push, Pepper.”  The doctor ordered and Pepper groaned and bared down.  The nurses cleaning up the mess of her strain as Morgan’s hair became visible.  Tony felt his heart stutter at first sight of the baby head.

“Oh my god, Pepper.  I can see him.”  He said.

“It’s so gross, Pepper.  Oh my god.”  You added.

“That’s not helpful.”  She groaned as she pushed again.

“It’s true though. So weird.  Like an alien.”  Tony said.

“Tony.  I will kill you right here.”  Pepper groaned.

Tony chuckled and Pepper grabbed his hand and squeezed as she pushed again.  It was four more bone breaking pushes before Morgan’s head was out and Tony stared at disbelief at the sight of it.

“Okay.  Hold on a second.”  Doctor Singh said and started moving Morgan around.  Pepper started panting through her teeth.  “Alright.  One last one.”

Pepper pushed, groaning hard and Morgan Stark entered the world.  The doctor lifted him up and Pepper crawled up onto the bed, collapsing on her back in exhaustion.  “Who’s gonna cut the cord?”

You and Tony looked at each other and he smiled.  “Together?”

You nodded and both of you took the scissors.  The doctor clamped the cord and you cut it as one.   Morgan had started crying.  That quiet and yet somehow powerful squall of a newborn.  He was placed naked on Pepper’s chest.  He was small and wrinkly but already Tony could see the fine tuft of red hair he’d inherited from his mother.  It was like they had gotten one of each.  Two boys and a girl to balance them out.

“Look at what you made, Pepper.”  You said, kissing her brow as the doctor and nurses went to work.

She gave a tired smile.  “We did it.  Tony.  We got our family.”

He smiled and pressed a kiss to her brow.  “Yeah, we did.  Now rest, honey.  We’re all here.”

It was only a few days that Pepper stayed in the med bay.  She recovered quickly from the birth and given that all three babies were now cleared to go home, it was home you went.  Your home.  The home of the family that Tony had built with you and Pepper. The one on the river, where it was just the three of you and not the Avengers.  Where the nursery was set up with three cribs and three bassinets sat ready to go in the master bedroom at the foot of the king sized bed, that looked out over the Hudson.

The three of you carried the babies in.  One baby each.  You held Ada in your arms, telling her every little thing about the house as you walked through it in relation to her future life.  Here are the stairs you’re going to slide down the banister on.  Here’s the couch you’ll fall asleep on when we let you stay up too late.  Here’s where you’ll most definitely bump your head.  Here’s where your daddy will teach you to tie your shoes.

Pepper held Edwin.  The little boy chewed on her knuckle as she chuckled and shook her head as you spoke.  Behind you both, Tony carried Morgan.  His pale red hair already had the curl of his own natural hair.

He felt a curious mix of peace and excitement.  He was in his fifties now and yet, his whole life felt like it was laid out and ready for him to live.   He was a dad now and he had so much to do.  So many things to teach them and show them.

It was weird.  He’d grown up believing no one really loved him.  That he would never know what that felt like.  That maybe it wasn’t even real in the first place.  Then he had met Pepper, and slowly, so very slowly he allowed himself to fall in love.

Yet even then, he couldn’t seem to stop.  He kept having to fight and fight and fight and he never had the chance to just feel like he deserved the love and chance to stop that Pepper had been offering him.

Then one day, Pepper had wanted to explore her sexuality and it was like everything had finally fallen into place.  They had gone unicorn hunting and brought home the one thing Tony thought he would never get.  A complete family.

“And here’s your parent’s bedroom.  Here’s where you’ll almost definitely walk in on us one day and everyone will be scarred forever.”  You said carrying Ada into the bedroom.

“You can’t say that.”  Pepper squawked, making Edwin startle and look around the room.

“You know the statistical likelihood that will happen is really high, Pepper.”  You said.

She shook her head.  “FRIDAY you're on ‘stop the kids walking in on us’ duty.”

“Yes, ma’am,”  FRIDAY replied.

You sat down on the bed and started to tickle Ada’s tummy.  “I could really go for a shower right now.”

Pepper hummed.  “Mmm me too.”

Tony looked from you to Pepper and back again.  “Give me the babies.  You can have a nice long one together.”

Pepper narrowed her eyes.  “Are you sure?  You can handle all three at once?”

“It’s what?  20 minutes?  And I am their dad.”

“Alright,”  Pepper said putting Edwin in his arms opposite Morgan.  “You asked for it.”

He sat down on the bed and you put Ada in next to Morgan.  You kissed his forehead and took Pepper’s hand.  “Have fun, daddy.”  You said leading her into the bathroom.

As soon as he heard the water go on Morgan started to cry.  He was quickly followed by Ada and then finally Edwin.  Tony bounced them smiling to himself.  “It’s okay, little ones.  Daddy’s got you.”  He said.  Even with them all crying it couldn’t dampen that contented feeling.  He’d been unicorn hunting all this time, but for him, his unicorn had been this.  Family.  Kids.  Love.  He was going to take the time to enjoy all of it.

~ END ~ 

[recurring-polynya]

Hey, remember that metapost I did a week ago, when I joked that I was charmed by the idea of Renji and Rukia getting together immediately after the Soul Society arc and making out in the waiting room of the Coordinated Relief Station while waiting for Byakuya to get out of surgery?

Uh, welp, some fanfic fell out.

Fast Times at the Coordinated Relief Station [AO3][FF.net] (leave me some kudo/favs, you animals!)

Quality Assurance by @diademchiofthetripod

Rated T for salty language and make-outs.

Everything about this is just extremely disrespectful to Byakuya.

Rukia glanced at the clock over the nurse’s station. 1:17p.m. 

A little later than planned, but that was Ichigo's fault, as usual. She had wanted to check in with him and make sure he was actually resting and not destroying any beloved cultural institutions before she got tied up for the afternoon. He was not, as it happens, resting. He was mostly shouting, as was his way, but at least he seemed to be staying in his bed down in the recovery ward. She felt she had left him in good hands, between Chad and Orihime. Uryuu was there, too, although he appeared to be the proximate cause of the shouting.

“Has my brother been taken into surgery, yet?” Rukia asked the harried nurse on duty.

The nurse flipped through some papers. “Who is your brother?”

“Kuchiki Byakuya? Captain of the Sixth?”

The nurse didn’t seem to care whether he was the Soul King himself. She unhurriedly located the correct chart. “Yes. He was deemed well enough to have the surgery today, and they just took him in. It should be two hours at least. If you’d like to stay, go down to Waiting Area 4C.” She pointed down the hallway without looking up.

Byakuya’s head retainer, Seike, had offered to come down and wait, in case anything went amiss during the surgery, but Rukia had insisted on coming herself. It was probably the first time she had insisted on anything since she had come to live with the Kuchikis. Byakuya had been injured saving her, though, and this was something she wanted to do. To her surprise, Seike had seemed almost...charmed by her insistence.

Was it only two days ago?

Two days ago that Rukia had nearly been executed. Two days ago that Ichigo and then her captain and then Renji and then Ichigo again had come to her rescue. Two days ago that Captain Aizen had betrayed Soul Society and escaped with two other captains in tow. Two days ago that Byakuya had taken a blade through the heart meant to take her life. 

Byakuya’s condition had been dicey the first day, Captain Unohana hovering over him casting kaidou after kaidou, hesitant to do anything more disruptive that might tip him toward the worse. He had stabilized somewhat the next day, and Unohana had declared that, unless he took a turn overnight, he was well enough to undergo surgery to repair the damage and get him back on the real road to recovery. 

Brother will be okay, Rukia kept reminding herself as she walked down the hallway, eyes scanning the hallways for Waiting Area 4C. He’s so strong, he can survive anything. This was a bit of a new feeling. She was used to thinking of her brother as "intimidating" or sometimes "downright terrifying." Being proud of him was a nice change.

Ah, there it was, the placard proclaiming "4C". But as she slid open the door, she was surprised to find the room wasn’t empty. The first thing she noticed was a pair of long legs in black hakama stretched halfway across the little waiting area. The face of the other visitor was hidden behind a copy of the Bulletin.

“Oh, pardon me,” Rukia said, ducking head. “I didn’t realize anyone was--”

“Rukia?”

 1:28pm

Rukia blinked as the copy of the newspaper lowered to reveal a face that had once been more familiar than her own, now a little older and bearing significantly more tattoos than it did in her memories. “Renji? What are you doing here?”

Her old friend rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, a familiar gesture that flooded her heart with nostalgia. “Uh, same as you, I imagine. Waitin’ around to hear how the captain’s surgery goes.”

Rukia twisted her hands together. “Oh. That’s nice of you.”

“I’m his lieutenant,” Renji scoffed, as if this explained everything. 

“You’re still going to work for him?” she asked. “After all that happened?”

Renji pursed his lips thoughtfully. “Was plannin’ on it. If he’ll have me.”

Rukia glanced around the room. It really wasn’t very big. There were two banks of seats, almost like couches, on either side of the room, with a low table against the wall opposite the door, covered in out-of-date periodicals. She could either sit next to Renji or opposite him. His outstretched legs reached most of the way across the room. Self-consciously, he pulled them in, sitting up a little straighter. Gingerly, she sat down facing him. 

Why was this more awkward without a set of cell bars separating them?

He folded his newspaper and tucked it neatly in his lap. 

“How're you feeling?”

“Me?” she asked, surprised. “Fine. Tired, I guess.” Hanatarou had been by to see her the day before, and said that it looked like her body was finally starting to replenish her depleted reiryoku, which was a good sign, but it was also somewhat exhausting. “How about you? You were, uh, kinda busted up the last time I saw you.”

Renji laughed. “No kidding! All flesh wounds, though. I got to go home yesterday morning. It’s been over twenty-four hours now since I’ve been in a fight, it’s like being on vacation.” He paused thoughtfully. "At least until Captain Zaraki hears I made bankai. Then I'm really in for it."

Rukia swallowed. He'd made bankai, something only the most elite shinigami could do, and was sitting here talking about it as though it barely rated notice. Perhaps that was true, compared to everything else that had happened, but surely it was important to him. Abarai Renji, a boy of her acquaintance who once got a newt stuck in own hair, was now, strictly speaking, qualified to become a captain of the Gotei 13. She'd always known he'd be good at this.

She should say something. He helped save her life. He’d risked his career and his life for her. He’d...said some things, as well.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” she said cheerfully, as though he had merely strained a muscle instead of being slashed into large chunks by Aizen just a few hours after being shredded into small chunks by her own brother. Flesh wounds, indeed. "And congratulations on bankai. I'm sure no one's made the proper fuss you deserve over it, but it's a big deal." She wanted to say more. "I'm proud of you", maybe? But what right did she have, being proud of someone she wouldn't even talk to for forty years?

He looked at her curiously. "Thanks."

Rukia swallowed.  “I didn’t mean to interrupt, you certainly don’t need to entertain me.”

He looked at her, confused, then remembered his newspaper. “I’d rather talk to just about anyone than read a three-week old newspaper. And you’re not just anyone.”

Rukia’s cheeks colored. “I’ve been in jail. I don’t have anything interesting to talk about." She drummed her fingers on her knee. "You could do the logic puzzle.”

Renji laughed again. “I’m sh-- crap at those things.”

“Don’t!” she snapped.

“Huh?” He was taken aback by her sudden vehemence.

“Who do you think I am, Abarai Renji, that you would need to watch your language around me?”

He raised an eyebrow. “The lady of the Kuchikis maybe. The sister of my captain.”

“I may be those things, but I was your friend long before that, I don’t recall you ever holding back for the sake of my delicate ears. I would much prefer you continued to afford me the same respect.”

Renji’s mouth quirked up in a pleased smile. “Arright, m’lady. I’m shit at logic puzzles. You happy now, asshole?”

“They’re very simple if you have any brains at all.” She got up from her seat and sat down next to him instead, poking at his newspaper insistently. “Come on. I’ll show you how it’s done.”

 1:52pm

"There! Complete! I told you these were easy, when one is capable of basic reasoning."

She had spent a good ten minutes leaning over his arm and trying to explain how you used the numbers on the borders of the grid to determine which blocks should be blackened and which left blank, before realizing that he wasn't actually listening, just making approving noises and funny faces at her. Then she had stolen his newspaper and done it herself.

He scrutinized her work.

"What is that, a rabbit riding a skateboard?"

"It's very cute, I think. The author of the puzzle obviously has some real artistic talent."

"I think you gave up on trying to solve it and just drew a rabbit riding a skateboard."

Rukia gasped and made a shocked face. This was, of course, exactly what she had done. No one could solve these things, they were impossible. "Well, there's no solution in the back, so we'll never know shall we?" She tossed the newspaper to the side.

"Mmm," Renji agreed noncommittally.

Rukia sucked her teeth and put her hands in her lap. It occurred to her that she was sitting rather close to him.

She wondered if she should move back to the other side of the room.

There was a clock on the wall above the magazine table. They both looked at it at the same time.

 1:58pm

“Do you carry a spirit phone?” Renji asked, out of the blue.

Rukia looked back at him. “What? Of course I do. Why?”

“Well, if you didn’t want to wait around, you could just give me your number, and I could let you know if we get any news.”   

Rukia snorted. “He’s my brother and he got injured saving me. I know I’m not actually helping in any way, but it… I want to do this." She frowned. "You could go and I could let you know.”

He shook his head. “Nah, same. Also, he confiscated my keys, so I can’t get into the office, it’s not like I could get any work done.”

“He confiscated your keys?”

“Yeah. He kinda fired me. I don’t think he got any of the paperwork filled out, though, so I’m hoping he’ll either reconsider or forget about it. It was on the basis that I started a fight with Kurosaki Ichigo and lost and I feel like he doesn’t have a lot of high ground there.”

“Was this before or after he tried to kill you?” Rukia still hadn’t gotten most of the details of what Renji went through leading up to her rescue, although she'd heard about that part from Hanatarou. She supposed she could ask. They were going to be here for a while.

“Before, actually.” Renji sighed. “I probably should give you my number, in any case.”

“Why?” Rukia asked, suspicious of his motives.

“‘Cause your brother doesn’t carry a phone, so if you need to get a message to him when we’re out in the field, you can send it through me.”

“He doesn’t?” Now that he mentioned it, she had certainly never seen Byakuya with one. He also tended to use Hell Butterflies for even the most trivial communications.

“You didn’t know that?”

“He doesn’t talk to me. At least he didn’t used to. Things might be different now.”

“Mmm,” Renji agreed. He started reciting numbers.

“Hold on, hold on!” Rukia exclaimed, pulling out her phone. She had already started making a new contact before realizing that she hadn’t actually agreed to this. Not that she objected, his rationale made perfect sense. It just wasn't right, Renji tricking her into doing things. She glared at him over the top of her phone.

“1-1-3-8,” he repeated the last few digits, his face a portrait of innocence.

“Okay, I’m going to text you now, so you have mine. In case you need to reach him when he’s at home.”

“I wouldn’t do that.”

“He would love it. ‘Oh, my devoted lieutenant, Text Messaging me in his Leisure Hours,’” Rukia intoned over her typing.

Renji rolled his eyes, and glanced down at his phone. He blinked.

“Thanks for not giving up on me,” she had sent.

He looked back up at her and smiled. “No problem.”

 2:10pm

“They have tea down by the nurses’ station. I’m gonna go get some. You want me to get you one?”

“Yeah, sure,” Rukia agreed. 

She watched him stretch his back as he left, accompanied by an array of painful-sounding pops and cracks. Served him right for being so stupidly tall.

She wondered if he had ever learned how to make tea properly.

 2:16pm

“One tea bag makes one cup. They’re portioned that way.”

“We're not poor anymore, Rukia. We don't have to live like that.”

When he had returned, Renji had sat back down on the other side of the room, so they were facing each other once again. He took a sip of his tea, even though Rukia knew it was still brutally hot. 

“No. That’s not how it works," she tried once more. "More tea bags do not make it better.”

“If it’s bad, it’s because they don’t keep the water hot enough. Maybe you should leave the bags in a little longer to make up for it.”

“That’s not-- you know what? It’s fine. Thanks for the tea. It’s great.” Rukia blew on hers, icing her breath just a bit before she took a sip. It tasted the way a shakkahou smelled. This was exactly like being in jail again.

 2:24pm

Renji appeared to be checking his texts. “So, what are the rules for texting you?” he asked without looking up. “Byakuya pass-through only, or can I hit you up when I’m looking for someone to go out for a drink with?”

“I don’t go out much.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

He was no longer looking at his phone, but watching her with a look that she had never seen on his face before. It was appreciative, but nonchalant, with just a hint of Rukongai swagger. Was he… flirting with her? Impossible. The Renji of her youth had zero game. Had he acquired game? It had been forty years, he must have been doing something with his time besides lifting weights and getting tattooed.

“You can text me if you want. I can’t promise I’ll text back. I’ll tell you if you start getting obnoxious.”

“Deal.” He thought for a moment. “You aren’t seeing anyone these days, are you?”

She almost choked. “Me? No. Not even a little bit.” The only people who were interested in her were thirsty nobles trying to get into her brother’s good graces and Ichigo’s gross friend Keigo. She stared back at Renji, and very blatantly looked him up and down, keeping a stony scowl on her face the whole time. He’d always been good-looking growing up, but now he was downright hot. He’d finally filled out all that height with muscle, accented by those little glimpses of his tats you got around the edges of his shihakushou. “How ‘bout you?” she threw back.

He seemed to find all this very amusing. “Naw, not right now.”

“Why not?” She leaned forward and narrowed her eyes. “Look at you. Any girl in the Gotei would go out with you. Half the guys, too.”

He shrugged, and gave her a look that positively smoldered. “There’s someone I’m a little hung up on.”

 2:26pm

Rukia fisted her hands into the cloth of her kimono. “What the hell, Abarai Renji?”

He blinked and sat up abruptly.

“You are flirting with me, aren't you? Or is this just how you are with everyone, now? With all your… your… tallness and good delts and… and... strong jawline?”

"I dunno! You've been flirting with me this whole time!"

"What?! I most certainly have not!"

"Are you kidding?" He started ticking off on his fingers. "You showed off at something you aren't actually good at and then bragged about it, you invaded my personal space, and you criticized me when I did something nice for you. Just now, you checked me out in a weirdly aggressive way. I mean, that's obviously not how normal people flirt, but you might've well handed me a note that says, 'Do you like me? Circle yes or no.'"

Rukia took a deep breath and screwed up her face.

Renji leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees. “And before you start stammering out excuses, I'll just tell you: Yes. I. Do.”

They sat in a hospital waiting area, across from one another, leaning forward, in absolute silence. 

 2:28pm

“Um. Ummm,” Rukia managed. 

This wasn’t a surprise, not exactly. She could pretend that they hadn't said those things to each other as he carried her away from Soukyoku Hill, that she hadn't ended up crying all over his kosode like a dumb baby. That she hadn't noticed the hitch in his voice when he promised, to her and her alone, that he would never let her go, right before he tightened his hand on his sword and used what he thought was his last breath to scream his defiance at Aizen. These things had happened though, and they both knew it.

That's how things went between Renji and Rukia. They had a long history of keeping their feelings jarred up and left to ferment deep in the basements of their souls. Sometimes, one of them would say something just a little too heartfelt or there would be some physical contact that lasted just a bit too long and they would ignore it and go on with their lives , because what else were you supposed to do?

Talk about it, apparently, although Rukia didn't recall agreeing to this.

“I wasn’t real honest with you about my intentions when we were younger,” Renji was saying. “And I don’t think it turned out too good for either of us. Maybe this is a good chance to start things off on a different foot. I think you’re real cute and cool as hell and I can’t imagine anything better than being with you, if that’s something you’d be up for.”

Rukia’s mouth fell open. “You...and me?” she managed, trying to sound skeptical. It was a little bit difficult with her idiot brain flailing, 'He thinks I'm cute?' in the background.

“We used to be a pretty incredible team.”

Well, there was no denying that. 

“Things are different now. You’re a vice captain. I’m, uh, noble. I guess.”

“You guess,” he echoed, rolling his eyes.

“How would it even work?” she grumbled.

Renji shrugged. “I’ve thought about that. I’ve thought about that a lot, as it happens, over the years. It’s intractable. Nearly impossible. And in the last week, a human kid busted his way through Squad 11, your brother, and one of the most powerful magical artifacts in Soul Society. I committed treason. Three captains defected to Hueco Mundo. So my definition of 'impossible' has shifted a little, and uptight people bitchin’ about who I smooch doesn't cut it anymore.”

“Oh, you want to smooch now?”

Renji leaned back, stretching his arms up and resting his head on his interlaced fingers. "You act like you've never smooched anyone before, which I know ain't true. There's no reason to make a big deal outta this. It's not like I suggested we start coming up with combination zanpakutou attacks, I just asked if you'd like to get a maybe-more-than-friendly drink sometime."

"That's bullshit," Rukia snapped.

 2:32pm

"Excuse me?" Renji replied coolly.

"I know you, Abarai Renji! You don't even know what my sword does and you've thought about combo attacks, admit it!"

His ears turned a little bit red, and Rukia was pleased to finally have him on the ropes. "I do so! I read your file when I got sent to arrest you and your zanpakutou sounds rad as hell, do you blame me?"

"That's--" she started to exclaim, "--kind of sweet, actually."

Renji smiled hopefully.

"Ichigo says your bankai's big enough that a person could reasonably ride around on it?"

"Yeah, he was too busy to try, though, so you can have first crack if you want it."

"Stop trying to sucker me in!" Rukia protested, but it was clear from her voice that her heart wasn't quite in it.

"I'm not," replied, leaning back on his hands again and closing his eyes. "I just like you. When you're done being defensive and decide if you like me back or not, let me know, okay?"

Rukia was silent.

She considered some facts.

Fact #1: Young Renji, at his best, was one of the most excellent people she had ever had the privilege of knowing. 

Fact #2: Renji, in his Academy days, had been a real shit.

Fact #3: Rukia had recently had occasion to spend a bunch of time with some teens. It turned out that a lot of teens were real shits. Some teens even managed to exist as both a real shit and an excellent person at the same time.

Fact #4: Shithead Academy Rukia would have been absolutely over the moon if Shithead Academy Renji had told her he liked her. Utterly ecstatic. 

Fact #5: Vice-Captain Renji seemed to be a marked improvement over Shithead Academy Renji.

Fact #6: Rukia had spent a long time closing herself off from other people. Frankly, it had sucked.

Fact #7: Some jerks, some real shits, had recently wormed their way past her defenses and tricked her into being friends with them. Frankly, it had ruled.

Maybe it was time to let someone in again. Maybe Renji was a really good someone to start with.

 2:35 pm

Rukia stood up and strode across the room, which took all of four steps, even for her.

"Listen up, dumbass," she announced. 

He cracked open one eye.

"Here's how it is: I might like you. I haven't decided yet. You're kinda hot, and I respect that. You used to be a pretty good guy once in a while, so I'm giving you a chance, but that doesn't mean you get a free ride on past good behavior, you got that?"

He'd opened the other eye by this time, and they'd both gone a bit wide. He dropped his arms to his sides and sat up a bit straighter.

"None of this is because you rescued me, is that clear? You didn't even rescue me, really, more like ruined what was shaping up to be a pretty good execution."

"Technically, Ichigo ruined your execution."

"That's absolutely correct, and I expect you to stick to that." She put one hand down on either side of his head, looming down over him as much as her four feet, nine-and-a-half inches would allow. "We are absolutely coming up with combo attacks, starting immediately. When we fight Aizen, I get to stab him first. I will never make you come to noble stuff, but I'll get you in if that's something you're interested in. I can't speak for what Brother makes you do. I get veto power over all nicknames. You will let me wear your pink bathrobe whenever I want." She thought for a moment. "I reserve the right to add more things later."

She stared into his eyes, waiting.

"Is that it?"

"That's it."

He nodded. "I accept."

 2:38pm

She kissed him.

 Still 2:38pm

He kissed her back.

 2:41pm

Rukia had expected to surprise him and then tease him for getting flustered.

She had not expected to kiss him long enough for her neck to start to get stiff. This was not a problem she usually encountered.

She certainly could have stopped kissing him. 

That seemed extreme.

Instead, she hitched up her kimono and hefted one knee and then the other up onto the chair on either side of his legs and settled down in his lap, moving her hands to a less threatening position on the back of his neck. Renji sighed contentedly and slid his hands to her hips.

 2:43pm

Rukia placed her hands onto his shoulders and slowly pushed herself backwards, until she could see Renji's face again.

The first time she had ever kissed him, under the old dead tree outside their squat in Inuzuri, he'd made a face like he'd just been whacked over the head with a tree branch.

The last time she'd kissed him, drunk, around the burned down coals of a bonfire celebrating the end of their first semester at school, he had gazed at her with such longing and affection in his eyes that she almost didn't recognize him.

He'd gotten some practice since then, that much was obvious. She liked the look in his eyes right then: It had a little of that boyish longing and affection and a little bit of being hit over the head with a tree branch, but it had a number of other things in there she didn't quite recognize, too. A little Squad 11 ferocity? The rampant self-esteem of a newly minted vice-captain? Just a dash of stone-cold lust, the look that a grown-ass man gave a woman he was enjoying having in his lap?

"I don't even know you anymore," she murmured. "How am I supposed to know if I like you or not?"

"I'm mostly the same," he promised.

"I might be into the new you."

"I'm very different. Whole new guy."

"I think," Rukia said, tilting her head to one side, "I might be interested in finding out."

 2:43pm

Kissing again.

 3:18pm

Whack! Whack!

"Ow!"

"There is no--" Whack! "--making out--" Whack! "--permitted in the Coordinated Relief Station!"

"Isane--ow!--stop!"

"Oh, Rukia, is that you?"

"Yes."

Kotetsu Isane, lieutenant of the Fourth Division, tapped her rolled up newspaper in the palm of her hand as the two disheveled shinigami before her sat up and adjusted their clothing. "Rukia, I would have thought better of you! Then again, you do hang out with my sister, whose bad habits-- Lieutenant Abarai?"

"Present," he groaned.

Isane looked at Rukia with wide eyes. "Well done," she mouthed, before clearing her throat. "You will both be happy to hear that Captain Kuchiki's surgery went very well.”

“Great!” Rukia chirped, casually fishing something out of her sleeve. She stared at it in befuddlement for a moment before recognizing it as Renji's bandana and thrusting it at him.

“Can we see him?” Renji asked, trying to grab the bandana back without actually looking at it. He kept missing.

“He’s still heavily sedated,” Isane explained. “It will be a while before he’s ready for visitors.”

“Gosh,” said Rukia. 

“How long we talkin’?” asked Renji.

 7:40pm

Rukia listened very carefully, nodding at appropriate times, as Captain Unohana explained Byakuya’s status and the details of his recovery regimen. Occasionally, on the topic of restricted activity, the gentle doctor would glance back and make steely eye contact with Renji, who would take over on nodding duty. They paused outside of Byakuya’s room. “One last thing. Due to his unusually high spiritual energy, we had to give him a...lot...of painkillers.”

“Ahhhh,” said Rukia. 

Renji looked confused.

“He may act a little strange,” Unohana clarified.

“I’ve been on a pretty heavy load of those a time or two myself,” Renji frowned. “Never had a problem.”

Unohana’s eyebrows shot up into her hairline and she rolled her eyes so hard that in another part of the Seireitei, Zaraki Kenpachi sat up a little straighter. Renji did not appear to notice. “Of course, Lieutenant.”

Rukia looked at Renji as Unohana went into Byakuya's room to check some of his vitals. “This is good actually. I’ve seen him on these a time or two before. He’s utterly cuckoo, but he thinks he’s fine, so if we can get him to agree to anything--like not firing you--he’ll remember it later and think he made the decision rationally.”

“That sounds...underhanded.”

“It’s how I got him to sponsor that Gotei 13 Eurovision thing the Women's Association put on last year."

"Squad 11 got robbed in that, by the way. You need to never mention it around my friend Ayesegawa."

It gave Rukia a bit of a warm feeling in her stomach, that he was already thinking about introducing her to his friends. She couldn't imagine how terrible his Squad 11 friends were. She couldn't wait to meet them.

 "I will remember that. But in any case, these are rare opportunities. We're basically obligated to take advantage of them. Trust me.”

Unohana reappeared, having finished her business. "He's all yours," she said, gliding down the hallway.

Byakuya was sitting up in bed, poking at a tray of food. His face was pale and drawn, his hair uncharacteristically non-silky, but he was most definitely making a very Byakuya facial expression.

“Helloooo, Brother!” Rukia said cheerfully, walking into the room. 

He looked at her, slightly lost for a moment.

“It’s me. Rukia. Your little sister.”

An extremely non-Byakuya-like smile spread across his face. “Kuchiki Rukia! My beloved sister!”

“How do you feel, Brother?”

“Horrid,” Byakuya replied. “Also, they have given me this slop. I would like to throw it out the window, but I cannot reach. Could you do that for me?”

“I’m sorry to say that you should eat as much as you can. You need to regain your strength.”

Byakuya made an extremely petulant face.

“Guess who else came to see you!” Rukia waved at the doorway.

A little hesitantly, Renji stepped into the room. “Hey, there, Captain. Glad to see you looking bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.”

“Abarai Renji! My loyal lieutenant! You may have forgotten, but I do not have a tail!”

“I did not forget, sir.”

“Kuchiki Rukia! Do you see this? Abarai Renji, my indomitable second, a man who fought by my side in the War for the 79th Bridge--”

“That was 800 years ago, neither of us was alive then.”

“--has come to see me! During his Leisure Hours!”

Rukia gave Renji a Look.

“Abarai Renji! If you are still the man you were when we stormed the Demon Realms together--”

“We definitely didn’t.”

“--you will throw this tray of food out the window for me!”

Renji walked over, grabbed the tray of food, opened the window, and hurled it out. There was a far-off thump and an indignant shout. Renji shut the window again.

“Renji!” Rukia hissed.

“He’s my captain," Renji shrugged. "It was a basically reasonable request. In the grand scheme of things."

“Truly, I chose wisely when I named you general of my armies and proclaimed that your family shall heretofore be a branch family to my own!” 

“You don’t have any--” Renji gave up. “To be honest, Captain, I really just want to know if I’m still fired or not.”

Byakuya lowered his voice to a stage whisper. “I will never fire you. You are my favorite.”

“That’s great news, sir. Thank you. At some point, I would appreciate it if you would give me the keys to the office back, but no hurry on that.”

“How fares the Manor, Rukia?” Byakuya asked grandly.

“Oh, it will run smoothly without you for a few days more, but everyone has been worried, Brother. They will be very happy to hear how well you are recovering.”

“I am counting on you to fill in during my absence,” Byakuya informed her. “If anyone does not afford you the proper respects, write their name down, and I will kill them once I am recovered.”

“That’s--" Rukia paused suddenly. "Do you mean servants, or other nobles? Because Lord Noragashi was by yesterday and he was very salty to me about you not being at home.”

“I will kill him,” Byakuya swore.

“Or you could… just not go to his next party or something.”

“Or I could attend and be handsomer than he!”

“Sure. Sure, that sounds good.” Rukia licked her lips and glanced at Renji, who nodded slightly.  “We have some other news for you, as well, Brother,” Rukia said gently.

Renji sucked in a deep breath and held it.

“Renji and I are seeing each other.”

Byakuya looked at Rukia very seriously, his eyebrows beetling. Then he looked at Renji. Then back at Rukia. “You are not seeing Kurosaki Ichigo, then?”

Rukia looked vaguely stricken. “Uh, no, Brother. Certainly not.”

“But you are seeing Lieutenant Abarai Renji? Vice-Captain of the Sixth Division?

“Yes, that one.”

“My faithful adjutant! Who has served me without question for over fifty years!”

“Six weeks. Sir.” Renji elected not to mention the treason.

“Come here, Abarai.” He tried to motion with his finger, but couldn’t summon the fine motor control. Renji came over anyway. “Closer.” Renji leaned down, glancing briefly at Rukia. “Attend me well, Abarai Renji,” Byakuya said in the same loud whisper that Rukia could hear perfectly clearly from across the room. “I have not always done right by my sister, but I have resolved to do so in the future.”

Rukia’s cheeks colored.

“It seems that she likes you.”

“She’s giving it a go, sir.”

“And it is self-evident that you like her.”

“That’s very true, sir.”

“And you are very much not Kurosaki Ichigo.”

“That is also very true.”

“So I shall accept this development and not require you to best me in combat. I suspect that, at this exact moment, you might actually be capable of doing so.”

“It’s possible,” Renji speculated.

“But I shall require your regular attendance at Sunday dinner.”

“With all the aunts?” Rukia asked, eyebrows raised.

“Withstanding the aunts is what it means to be a Kuchiki!” Byakuya proclaimed.

“For Rukia’s sake, I will do it,” Renji promised.

“Welcome to the family, my beloved son-in-law!”

“I’m not--”

“Let’s just count this as a win,” Rukia suggested. 

Renji smiled hopefully at her. It was, in Rukia's opinion, a very cute smile.

Rukia smiled back. She couldn't help it.

This was going to be an adventure.

 ~ end

[homosexualearthworm]

Never thought I’d end up writing a chaptered fic for tyrus, but here we are! Next update is on Monday and then every Monday after that.

Summary:  TJ's eighth grade year is completely turned on it's head after he breaks his leg and is no longer able to play basketball. Luckily Cyrus is more than willing to keep him company.

Ao3 Link

Dwell In Possibility

Chapter One

It was Tuesday, which meant Cyrus was sitting on a bench in the park as he watched TJ and Buffy’s weekly one on one game. What had started as a scheme to get TJ and Buffy on good terms ended up becoming a weekly tradition for the trio. This was mostly due to the fact that TJ and Buffy were both equally competitive and equally matched. Their win rate was nearly 50/50.

Today TJ was in the lead. At least, as far as Cyrus could tell. He was there to keep score but honestly he had no clue what was going on half the time. He just loved cheering on two of his best friends.

“Bam!” Cyrus heard Buffy exclaim as the ball swished through the net. “That’s another point for me, Cyrus!” She gave TJ a gloating smile as she jogged past him to get the ball.

“Oh, so I guess that only makes you 4 points behind me now.” TJ swiped the ball from Buffy’s hands and made another shot. “Actually, looks like you’re back up to 5. You got that Underdog?” He nodded over to Cyrus.

Cyrus smiled and gave TJ a thumbs up. He knew they knew he wasn’t actually keeping score but he appreciated that they included him in the banter. He sighed contentedly as he watched them play, thinking about how nice it is to have two people he cared so much about get along. It was so important to him that Buffy liked TJ.

“Hey! Cy-guy!” The familiar voice broke Cyrus out of his thoughts and he looked up to see Jonah, accompanied by a large golden retriever on a leash, jogging towards him.

“Jonah! Hi!” Cyrus’s grin practically took up his entire face as he beamed at the dog. “I didn’t know you had a dog! What’s his name?”

Cyrus got off the bench and crouched down on the ground to get eye level with the dog, letting it lick his face as he stroked it’s head and scratched it’s ears.

“Yeah, her name’s Stormy. We’ve had her forever.”

“I guess you’ve just never mentioned her.” At that moment Stormy jumped on Cyrus, knocking him down. He yelped as he fell but then laughed when Stormy stretched out across his lap.

“Stormy, no! Get off” Jonah tugged the leash slightly but Stormy didn’t budge.

“No, it’s fine Jonah, I don’t mind! I actually like it.” he chuckled slightly while rubbing his face in Stormy's soft fur, “I wish I had a dog. Three of my four parents are allergic though.” He scratched Stormy under her collar. “And she’s just so beautiful! Yes you are! You are such a pretty puppy! Oh who’s a good girl?”

TJ and Buffy were so into their game they hadn’t noticed Jonah or the dog. But Cyrus’s baby voice caught TJ’s attention. As he was dribbling the ball away from Buffy, he looked over to Cyrus to see what caused him to talk like that and the sight was almost too much. Cyrus’s face radiated pure joy as Jonah’s dog wagged her tail in response to Cyrus’s pets. TJ had never seen a more adorable sight in his life.

He was so distracted by Cyrus that he didn’t notice the large crack in the asphalt he was headed towards. As he melted over the sight of Cyrus, his foot got caught in the crack, lurching his body forward. He hit the ground hard. He fell at a weird angle and all his weight landed on his right leg. His stomach dropped and panic coursed through his veins as he heard the unmistakable snap of a bone breaking. He had never broken a bone before but there was nothing else that sound could have been. It made his skin crawl. Immediately he was hit with a wave of the most excruciating pain he had ever felt in his life.

“Aaarrrrrggaggagghhhhh” he gritted his teeth trying in vain not to scream. His hands clenched around his thigh, trying desperately to will the pain to stop but there was no letting up. “Aaarrgghh FUCK! Shit.” he hissed through his teeth.

Stormy whined as Cyrus threw her off his lap and ran onto the court.

“TJ! Oh my god. What happened? Are you okay?” Cyrus bent down next to TJ, frantically waving his hands around, trying to figure out how he could help.

“He doesn’t look okay.” Cyrus looked up to see Buffy and Jonah also hovering around TJ, their faces looking almost as panicked as Cyrus felt. “TJ you’re sweating. You look like you’re going to be sick.” Buffy continued.

TJ did feel nauseated from the pain. God please no, he thought, if I barf it’s going to land on Cyrus. He swallowed hard, trying to maintain as much dignity as he could in his current position.

TJ inhaled sharply. “I think my leg’s broken.” he said through gritted teeth.

“Can you move it at all?” Cyrus asked

“No.” Even just the thought of moving it filled TJ with dread.

“Okay that’s it, I’m calling 911.”

Cyrus ran back to his backpack at the bench to grab his phone. TJ considered for a second protesting, but he knew that he probably needed an ambulance. He was not about to move from where he sat on his own, and although he trusted his friends he definitely didn’t want them to try to move him either.

Cyrus ran back a minute later, still clutching his phone and typing something. “Okay TJ, an ambulance is on it’s way. And I’m texting your mom to let her know what’s happening so she can meet us at the hospital.”

“No, Cy- sh-she’s at work. She can’t miss a- a shift.” He said, panting through the pain. He felt tears leak from the corner of his eyes as he groaned in pain again.

“TJ! Look at you! Work can wait! Your mom would kill me if some EMT called her after the fact instead of me right now.”

TJ didn’t try to argue again. He knew Cyrus was mostly right anyway. His mom would want to know immediately. And she would drop anything for TJ. But work couldn’t wait. He knew his mom was on thin ice at work and missing a shift could be detrimental to their family.  

He couldn’t think about that right now though. He just kept trying to reign in his pain and keep his groaning and whimpering to a minimum. Embarrassment washed over him as he sat on the asphalt with his three friends all staring at him, concern and pity lacing their faces, while they waited for an ambulance.

Buffy leaned against the wall in the hospital waiting room, talking on the phone with Jonah. She promised to call him with updates since he had to take his dog home and wasn’t able to accompany them to the hospital.

“Yeah, he’s in surgery now. … Well, because they needed to screw the bone back together so it heals properly.” She paused a minute more as Jonah spoke on the other end and as she did she looked across the room at Cyrus.

Cyrus sat anxiously in one of the waiting room chairs, staring absentmindedly at the wall across from him and chewing on his thumbnail.

“He hasn’t said much since we got here. He’s just spacing out. I’ve never seen him this anxious and we’re talking about Cyrus, here. So that’s saying a LOT.”

Buffy nodded into the phone at Jonah’s response. “Yeah they are close, but this is taking it to a whole other level. Cyrus is acting like TJ could die or something, like reckless teenage boys don’t break bones all the time.” She looked back over at Cyrus, his eyes still trained on the same spot on the wall. She sighed. “Honestly I’m more worried about him than I am about TJ… Okay, well, I’ll text you when he’s out of surgery… Okay… yeah, bye.”

Buffy plopped down next to Cyrus after hanging up.

“Hey, you okay?” She bumped his shoulder with her own.

“Hm?” he glanced over at Buffy for a second before turning back to face the wall, still chewing on his thumb nail. “uh, i dunno.”

Buffy grimaced. “You really shouldn’t do that.” She reached up and grabbed his hand, gently yanking the nail out of his mouth and then squeezing his hand lightly between her own. “He’s okay, you know. It’s just a broken bone. People break bones all the time.”

“It’s surgery, Buffy!” his head snapped back up towards hers, eyes wide and brows furrowed. “He’s back there somewhere being cut open and prodded and they’re putting screws in his body and what if it was worse? What if he landed on his head instead of his leg? What if-”

He was cut off by the sound of shoes clicking down the hallway towards them. They both stood up as TJ’s mom approached them.

“Well kids, he’s out of surgery now and resting. The good news is the surgery went well. It was a clean break and they were able to reset it nicely. They’re hopeful it won’t cause any long term problems.”

Cyrus let out the breath he was holding. “Thank god.”

Buffy squeezed his hand she was still holding. “That’s great news, Mrs. Kippen! See Cyrus, I told you a broken bone is not big deal.”

The soft smile Mrs. Kippen gave them fell slightly. “And… the bad news is that this is one of the worst bones TJ could have broken. Femurs take a long time to heal. The average recovery time is six months.”

Cyrus’s mouth hung open. “He won’t be able to walk for six months?”

“What about basketball?” Buffy interjected.

“Unfortunately, there’s no way he’ll be able to play this season. Maybe not next season either. He’s going to need a lot of physical therapy to regain use of his leg. And he’s definitely going to need his friends by his side. I know TJ likes to act tough but this is going to be a really hard time for him.”

Cyrus nodded emphatically. “Of course. We’re going to be there for him.”

Mrs Kippen smiled. “Thank you. But for now, he just needs to rest. No use in you kids staying here any later than you need to on a school night.”

Buffy nodded and turned to Cyrus. “Ready to go?”

Cyrus seemed to hesitate for a minute. He really did not want to leave even if he couldn’t see TJ yet. “Er… yeah, I guess. I’ll be back tomorrow. Can you text me his room number?”

Mrs Kippen nodded. “Of course. Now, let me drive you home.”

It was a little after 11pm when Cyrus got home. He let his parents know that TJ was okay but dodged all their other questions, telling them he was really tired and they would talk tomorrow. In actuality, he just didn't know how to answer their other questions. His head was swimming and he couldn’t seem to parse together a clear thought.

He got in bed and stared up at the ceiling, trying to will his body to relax, to go to sleep. He looked over at the alarm clock on his bedside table. 12:36am. Five and a half hours before he had to get up tomorrow. He sighed, knowing that he was never going to fall asleep at this rate.

He got out of bed and sat down at his desk, turning on his laptop. Working on the book report he had due next week always seemed to make him want to go to sleep so he figured he’d try that for a while. Instead he just found himself staring blankly at his computer screen as opposed to the ceiling.

He shut his laptop in frustration, rubbing his hands over his face and groaning. This is hopeless , he thought, I’m just not going to sleep tonight and that’s that .

When he looked up from his hands, he noticed a black notebook laying on the corner of his desk. His stepdad had given it to Cyrus when he started sixth grade. The transition from grade school to middle school was particularly challenging for Cyrus. He got bullied pretty frequently that year. He never told his parents about it but they noticed a spike in his anxiety nonetheless.

Cyrus’s stepdad pulled him aside one day and handed him that notebook. “Look, son. I know something is going on. I understand if you’re uncomfortable talking to me about it, but I want to make sure you’re processing your feelings somehow.” he said to him. “I’m not going to force you to talk to me or one of your other parents when you’re upset, but if you don’t want to talk about it, I want you to write about it. Just whatever is in your head. Stream of consciousness. It will help, I promise. Can you do that for me?”

Cyrus flipped through the blank pages of the journal and nodded at his stepdad. “Yeah, I’ll try.”

His stepdad ruffled Cyrus’s hair. “Good, kid.”

Now, two years later at 1am in his bedroom, Cyrus flipped through that journal. He did use it when he was upset that year and it helped him a lot. It made him feel less alone and more in control of his thoughts.

It had been about a year since he’d written though. He stopped using the journal when the bullying eventually died down. But now he felt the urge to use it again. He flipped to the first blank page and rested the tip of the pen on the top left corner. He didn’t know where to start or what he even wanted to say.

Just whatever’s in your head. Stream of consciousness. He heard his step dad's voice play in his head.

Cyrus took a deep breath and began to write.

He’s hurting. He’s somewhere in that huge hospital alone in a strange bed with his leg cut open and stitched back together. there’s screws in his bone and i didn’t even get to see him after he got out of surgery. I wish i could have seen him. I’m trying to imagine if he would smile at seeing me there or grimace in pain or maybe embarrassment because i’m too concerned and i think it’s hard for him to accept that people care about him. But i do care about him. so much. Too much. I just need to know that he’s okay. I mean. I know he’s okay as in he’s going to live and be fine but how is he feeling? Like emotionally? Does he even know how he feels emotionally? What if he needs to talk to me to figure out what he’s feeling, to work through what’s going on in his head? No. stop it Cyrus. Stop trying to fix everyone’s problems and make everything about you. It’s not like TJ needs me or anything. He’s smart and independent and confident. He can handle anything. But. I want him to need me. Is that bad? I think I need him too, though. Is that bad too? Does that make me codependent? No, it’s not codependent if it’s one sided. Then it’s just dependent. Just pathetic. I’m pathetic. God. I act like i have some silly schoolgirl crush on him. I don’t though. He’s just one of my best friends. I would never admit this to andi or buffy but he’s become one of the most important people in my life, right up there with the two of them. God, i just want to see him right now. I want to know he’s okay, I want to stroke his hair, I want to grab his smug face and just kiss him.

Oh.

I don’t know why I wrote that. It’s not true.

I mean, it’s a little true.

Damn it. I do like him.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #225

“i tried to write your name in the rain, but the rain never came.”

How many times a day do you check your cell to see if you have a text? Considering my dumb phone doesn't let me know I have texts half the time, I do multiple times throughout the day. Ever wonder if the person you hate will become the person you marry? HA HA YOOOOOOOOOOOO SARA AND I DID AND NOW I DEADASS WANNA MARRY HER TOMORROW How many times a day do you wash your hands? It varies. After I use the bathroom or if I'm about to touch food. You walk in on your parents smoking pot, what do you do? lol h u h How old were you when you had your first crush? Hell if I know. I do remember as a young kid though, I was very much "ew boys no thnx." Maybe like... 5th grade? When was the last time you asked God for something? A long, long time ago. Your opinion on smoking: Just don't, dude. It's money going towards gradual suicide. No one likes the smell. You sure won't like how it affects your body. It's an addiction/it's stressful to stop. I'm not gonna like, judge you if you smoke, but nevertheless, I'll tell anyone it's an awful idea. Make love or fuck? It depends on the mood. I was more into the former mood back when that even applied to me, though. Have you ever cried so much over something that later felt like nothing? Oh, I can assure you I have. The last time you were afraid of the dark was: I'm not really scared of the dark, but one time I got up semi-recently in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and after one incident, I was so, so careful and nervous to step on Bentley's tail. He lost his fucking mind on me when I did it once, of course on accident. The TV was off by this point, so I couldn't see well at all. I love having a dog that fucking scares me. How often do you say I love you to your parents and mean it? A whole lot. Your boyfriend/girlfriend say they can’t hang out & it’s been two weeks. You? I mean sure, it sucks, but if they're legitimately busy, they're busy. Have you ever wanted a wild animal for a pet? If yes what animal? I had a phase where I really wanted a fox, and now I am DEAD serious about fostering opossums at some point. When you go to sleep, do you have to have white noise or silence? SILENCE. Though I don't really get /total/ silence 'cuz I have to have my fan on. My room's always hot. Have you ever gotten in a fight with a teacher? No. Ever had a creepy dream about a teacher? No. Where were you when you had your first sleepover? Your house or a friends’? I believe I was at my then-best friend's house. I had suuuuch bad separation anxiety from my mom that I know I was older than most kids who did. What are you limits for doing stuff for money? I'd never do sexual favors or seriously hurt someone for it. Is there someone you are mean to all the time for no reason? No. I'll admit I'm typically rather short with Bentley, but Jesus, do I have reason. When you think of love what’s the first that comes to mind? Sara. How do you calm your mind and find peace when you are stressed? My best bet is going to sleep; that's pretty much, usually, my reset button. Have you ever given someone flowers? I gave Jason flowers once or twice. I gave my mom some for Mother's Day as a kid. How often do you get on Facebook? A couple times a day... mainly just to see memes lmaoooo. What day of the week is usually your busiest day? Good Lord, Tuesdays. I'm at school for 13 hours. Mostly sitting in the library waiting for classes, but. I do study a whole lot, though, and it's when I get a bunch of schoolwork done. Is there a place that you will never return back to? Idk. When was the last time that you created a PowerPoint? I'm actually working on/off one for FYS 'cuz we have to do this "Lifeline" thing where we introduce ourselves and give our stories. Guess who's not fucking ready. Do you like group work? NO. NO. Particularly if it's with people I don't know. Do you have any stickers on your laptop? No. Is music or the TV on while you complete this survey? I'm listening to Chase Holfelder's cover of "Kiss The Girl" rn. Does your grass need cut currently? No. Do you listen to Nirvana? Occasionally. What color are the doors in your house? White. Have your friends ever not wanted you to be with someone? Probably. What is your favorite use for whipped cream? I hate that stuff. What is your favorite flower? Orchids. And your favorite nut? Ew no thanks. Can you curse in a foreign language? Of course I know "fuck" and "shit" in German lmao. Are you fond of spaghetti? Hell yeah man. Have you ever played in the mud? I sure did zoom through it on my bike as a kid. Do you remember what your first real relationship felt like? That relationship ultimately led to PTSD, how could I possibly forget. Who can make you happy no matter what? Sara, Mark, and Game Grumps are particularly good at that. How tall are you? 5'4.5'' Are there any animals near you? No, I'm at school rn. Do have a lot of lists? No. Are you a godparent? No. Do you sleep too much or not enough? Eh, it depends on the day and my mood. Have you ever gone a full day without interacting with another person? Yep. How many relationships have you been in that lasted less than a year? Four. Where were you going the last time you were on a train? Never been on one before. Do you think having a bad temper is a sign of immaturity? I mean, no? It's an interesting question and I guess a "maybe," but. I feel this depends on the trigger. Have you ever been significantly more physically fit than you are now? I was a fucking yoga master babe in 9th grade, fuckin fite me. When growing up, did your parents keep the house very tidy? I guess? It wasn't dirty. How many watches do you own? Zero. Are there any ways in which you greatly differ from everyone else in your family? Political views, I guess? Or the fact I'm bi? I only know of one person in my extended family that's gay. Should teenagers be allowed to have their cell phones with them in class? No shit? Emergencies are a thing? BUT, respect the teacher, please. I cannot stand people using their phone in class, especially here in college. You're paying a shitload to learn. Spend that time as you're supposed to. Take education seriously. If your phone's on vibrate for said emergency situations, that's cool. Do you have any gay relatives? Lol oh. Yeah, Mom has a cousin. Have you ever had to have a pet put down? Yeah. Have you unfollowed, deleted, or blocked anyone on social media recently? I deleted my sister's mother-in-law in fury over her homophobia because I've seriously had it, then just a few days ago actually I went through my Facebook list deleting people I just didn't really feel connected to/didn't really care to follow their journey anymore. How many cups of coffee do you typically drink per day? Zero. Do you know what your vocal range is? It's not broad. I'd say I'm probably in a rank slightly lower than most women. What’s the biggest financial mistake you’ve ever made? I've never really been in the position to be capable of that. I've never had a source of income. If so, what sub-genres of metal do you like the best? Probably heavy. Or symphonic, though I haven't found too many artists in that sub-genre that I really enjoy. But BOY, when I do? I will BINGE that shit to the ends of the earth. Have you ever turned down someone who didn’t handle the rejection well? Ha ha oh man, I remember in 4th grade, this kid Nick was desperate to date me. It was endearing and cute, but he asked kinda obsessively. Then jfc, when I broke up with Tyler, you would've thought I was Jason and he was me, holy shit. How large is your largest scar, and what is it from? Well, I can't see it, so I actually don't know. I guess kinda long, but not wide. It's from a cyst removal surgery. Who was the last person you sincerely thanked? Omg, my Writing teacher. She really liked my writing on my essay. I was so flattered. When was the last time you went for a walk? Like, just a casual walk for the sake of walking? Not since I was at Sara's last. That was when my muscle atrophy was starting to get extremely bad though and I was very close to death omg. Have you ever been in a relationship where there was a large difference in maturity levels? I don't think so. When cooking a meal, do you clean up as you go or wait til you’re done? I don't know how to cook. Do you develop crushes easily? NO. I am soooooo romantically picky. What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed as a guest at someone’s house? A month or more with Colleen after we were evicted. That was a really good time, honestly, regardless of how we feel about each other now. I don't think anyone's done something so selfless for me, and we really did have fun. How bad was your acne when you were a teenager? I'd say it was normal for someone that age. Do you like salsa that has fruit in it? NO. Do you think stained glass windows are pretty? Hell yeah. That was my favorite thing about the church I grew up with; Catholic churches tend to truly have incredible stained glass. Are you scared of snakes? Nope, snakes are Baby. Have you had your wisdom teeth removed? No; I only have two, and I just slightly have enough room for them. Do you like hard or soft pretzels better? I strongly prefer soft. Have you ever been carded when buying something? Yes. Do you eat meat? Regretfully. Can you sleep with the light on? NOOOOOOOOOO. I have to truly be exhausted. Have you ever broken a bone? No, but I did fracture my wrist as a kid. Have you ever made ice cream in chemistry class? Bitch I wish, tf. Do you use the microwave often? Considering a bitch can't cook, yes. Microwavable meals are the reason I am alive. Have you ever painted a room? No. What’s in your copy and paste? This survey. Do you know anyone that’s painfully, socially awkward? Fuckin ME JFC. How do you usually pose in your pictures? With the left side of my face facing the camera (bc my hair kinda swoops over the right side), and I'll usually smile with my teeth or do a :D face bc at least I look happy instead of high with my squinty-ass eyes. :') Do you know anyone that absolutely freaks out if you try to take a picture of them? um????????? me?????????????? Do you pick on them for it and attempt to take loads of pictures anyway? If someone doesn't want me to take a picture of them, I absolutely don't push them 'cuz I totally get it. How’s your posture? Bad. Have you ever had to take care of a fake baby in family ed? Thank God in Heaven no. I. Would. Have. Raged. ^ were you a good mother/father? N/A What’s your favorite way to wear your hair up? My hair is too short for that. But I generally find french braid buns SO pretty. Have you ever read a ‘banned’ book? Uh, I don't think so. What does your screen name mean? Favorite animal, meerkats, + favorite artist, Ozzy Osbourne. Have you ever had to take a sobriety test? N- no wait. They were mandatory when I've gone to the ER for suicidal thoughts. Do you like movies more if they’re based on actual events? It doesn't really matter to me. What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done with your cell phone? Idk, dropped it? What’s your opinion on gold diggers? Selfish, or smart? Both? Uh, I don't think it's exactly debatable to call it selfish... I mean, you're dating for the sake of monetary gain...? What would you do if your bf/gf was hitting on someone else right in front of you? I couldn't even try to picture her doing that, but obviously I'd be uncomfortable and jealous. What’s something you’ve done that you’ve sworn you’d never do? Idk, multiple things. Which ex of yours do you talk to the most? I only talk to Girt. Can you recall the first person you ever drank/got drunk/high with? I drank with family, probably, but I've never reached the point of being drunk, and I've never been high. ^ are you still friends? I mean, I love my family. Have you ever taken someone else’s vehicle without permission? No. What were you doing the last time you were videotaped? *shrugs* Is that something you’d be comfortable uploading and sharing? I don't know what it would be. Which friend wears the same size clothes as you do? Probably none? I don't have many friends to compare to. Is there anyone’s wardrobe that you’d like to steal? UM Suzy Hanson is a B A B E? ?? ? ? ??? I adooooorrrrre her clothing line (Psychic Circle), too, and so wanna buy something. Have you ever been lost in the woods? DARLIN I've watched The Blair Witch Project 2 much for that shit. What did you last stretch the truth about? Idk. Have you ever had withdrawals from something? Caffeine, and then WoW for quite a few months after I stopped playing for like, a year or more. Is there anyone on your friend’s list you know next to nothing about? I know at least one of Mom's friends that I've only met once, and briefly. How old is 'too old’ for you to date? I wouldn't date over 30 (I absolutely stg that has nothing to do with H I S age being 30 lmaoooo). How do you feel about guys in tight jeans? Skinny jeans look good on like, anyone. Favorite hour-long show? Uhhh idk. Well, at least out of the shows I used to like and would be most interested in watching, The Good Doctor. Favorite half-hour show? Meerkat Manor. Most people who’ve slept over at your house all at once? My current house? Just one, I think. Steak or chicken? Chicken. I'm piiiiickyyyy w/ steak. Is flirting really cheating? Yes, if you're clearly not just teasing. What’s something you own that’s /only/ of sentimental value? My pebble from my partial hospitalization program. What’s your choice of chips? Girrrrrllll gimme Cool Ranch Doritos. What song would you use to torture someone? i t ' s  f r i d a y  f r i d a y What is the weirdest compliment you have ever received? Probably that my nose was cute? If someone REALLY fat was upset, and saying how FAT they were, what would you say? First off, NOT say "you're not fat omg ur beautiful." I'M overweight and don't like when people say that. I'm perfectly aware that you're lying "for my own sake," which is sweet, but it's not helpful. Motivate me/the person to improve without being an asshole. Let them know I believe in them, which I do for ANYONE. If I could lose 60-70 pounds in a year, anyone can. What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever heard a kid say? So when I was very little and my mom gave me orange juice, I freaked out because it had pulp in it. And what did I say? "I CAN'T DRINK THAT IT HAS NIPPLES IN IT" look idk don't ask but boy does Mom love sharing that story. A random stranger walks up to you and says 'you’re hot’. You say: Most likely "go away." Possibly "thank you, but please go away." Actually yeah, that's more likely. Like it's flattering to know someone finds you attractive, but yeah, that's just uncomfortable for some stranger to do that. I also wouldn't want to really piss the person off. Do you send messages on Facebook a lot? Definitely not. Almost the only person ever would be Girt. Have you ever gone to a strip club? No. Not my kinda scene. Like I absolutely will not think less of someone who does this, but I just don't like but moreso feel bad for men or women who reduce themselves to their sexual capabilities. Do you like Chinese food over pizza? Hell nah man. Pizza is supreme. What color is your watch? I'm not wearing one. I never do. Do you believe in love at first sight? Absolutely not. Visual attraction, of course that's real, but I promise you dear, you don't love someone upon looking at them. When you eat Frosted Flakes, do you add sugar in it? I hate that stuff. Who’s the biggest hugger you know? Ashley's father-in-law's mom. ... At least I think that's what she is? Do you want to change your name? Nah, it's fine. Have you ever tried to erase someone from your memory? Of course I have.

[danishprince]

redid this 92 questions meme from 4 years ago for Fun and Profit because i like seeing how much i’ve changed over the years. not tagging anyone, but if you want to answer the questions, go wild

what was your…

last beverage? woter

last phone call? a confidential call to a research lab at my university because they’re studying alcohol use in young adults and wanted to know if i fit the criteria to be in the study (i do, so i get money for it fuck yeah)

last text message? i told my dad that our neighbors got two of their trees cut down and his response was “Wwwow”

last song listened to? currently listening to “evening prayer aka justice” by ezra furman!

last time you cried? maybe like saturday or sunday? not really sure

have you ever…

dated someone twice? nah

been cheated on? don’t believe so

kissed someone and regretted it? eh i’ve had a few kisses that i look back and kinda cringe at because we were really drunk or i was Not Into Them or whatever, but actually, truly regret? no. 

lost someone special? it’s been awhile since anyone close to me died. my maternal grandma (and step-grandpa) are getting pretty old/less healthy though so i’m like starting to already feel weird snatches of anticipatory grief for that which :/

been depressed? i’d say so yeah, on occasion

been drunk and vomited? fun story i briefly thought i was allergic to alcohol freshman year because i’d throw up every time i drank. TURNS OUT however i just was a dumbass who didn’t know how to hold their liquor

list three favourite colors: hot pink, teal, black

in the last year, have you…

made a new friend? yes indeed

fallen out of love? cannot say that i have

laughed so hard there were tears? oh constantly. though i do that regularly because of the dumbest shit, so that’s not, like, an anomaly

met someone who changed you? YES the professor of my psych lab whom i ADORE

found out who your true friends are? yeah, or at least i feel way more comfortable and grounded in my friendships than i did. which is cool!

found out someone was talking about you? i overheard my coworker at our (drama-filled, my god) orientation leader job bitching about some other coworkers, but then what she said about me was “yeah katie’s pretty cool” so i was like :) :) neat

kissed anyone on your facebook “friend list”? hell yeah babey

general questions.

how many of your facebook friends do you know in person? the vast majority. there’s a few Spelling Bee Kids who’ve just added me for Spelling Bee Clout that i don’t know irl, but otherwise i don’t really add people i don’t know

how many siblings do you have? 1 (one) 16-year-old bröther

do you have any pets? 1 (one) very old round guinea pig named hamlet

do you want to change your name? eh not really. i’m not, like, obsessed with it, but it’s a decent name and i have no urge to change it

what did you do for your last birthday? i turned 21, but it was a monday, so i went to a restaurant with three of my friends and ordered 1 (one) Alcoholic Beverage. then later that week i went to a coffee bar that serves alcohol later at night with some of my other friends and had more Alcoholic Beverages there

when did you wake up today? 9:30ish

what were you doing at midnight last night? being asleep lmao

something you cannot wait for: going to arizona and later going back to kentucky for senior year of college (holy fuck)

when did you last see your mother? like 15 minutes ago, she’s doing laundry or something

what is one thing you wish you could change about your life? where 2 begin. uhh i wish i was more naturally outgoing instead of having to consciously turn on my Extrovert Persona in certain scenarios and end up getting super drained from it. i also wish i knew what the fuck i was doing with my life but i think that’s just, like, The Eternal Twenty-Something Mood (at least i hope it is dear god)

what are you listening to right now? the song “rodeo” by lil nas x, which PERSONALLY said gay rights

have you ever talked to a person named tom? yes multiple, and every tom(my) i have hated (sorry if you’re a tom and you’re a decent human bean)

what’s getting on your nerves right now? i have to do a bunch of important life and school stuff but i am procrastinating it! so i guess...my brain

most visited webpages: twitter, tumblr, discord, instagram, the dear prudence advice column on slate dot com lmfao

blood type: o+ i believe, but i am too smol to donate blood so i do not know for sure :(

nicknames: some of my friends refer to me over text as k8e and i love it tbh. also katie itself is a nickname

relationship status: single but like, kind of a thot

zodiac sign: virgo sun cancer moon cancer rising 

pronoun: they/them but she/her is also fine

primary school: private lutheran school

middle school: the same private lutheran school

high school: public school

college: university of kentucky for undergrad and also a concurrent grad program (long story). maybe more grad school???? somewhere else??? or not???? I Don’t Know

hair colour: honey blonde

long or short: hair? just got it cut short in january and it was the best decision i ever made

height: 5’6"

do you have a crush on someone? define “crush”

what do you like about yourself? i’m a good listener and writer and also sometimes my Funney Joaks land

do you have any tattoos? nah. i am afear’d i’d regret it

are you right- or left-handed? right-handed

first surgery: some ear procedure thing in kindergarten. if that doesn’t count i got half my wisdom teeth out the summer before college and the other half the summer after freshman year (but was technically awake for both) 

first piercing: ear piercings when i turned sixteen

first best friend: uhhhhh my friend stephanie from home-preschool? or this girl named grace who was my kindergarten best friend but then moved away

first sport you joined: i believe dance classes when i was but a little peanut

first vacation: idk? we went to san diego when i was two i think? don’t remember it though

first pair of trainers/sneakers: good question. had some boss-ass light-up shoes once 

right now i am…

eating: popped corn

drinking: woter 

about to: hopefully write this [bernie sanders voice] damn email, but who is to say : - )

listening to: my liked songs on spotify (currently “i think i’m going to kill myself” by elton john)

interested in having children? if that’s how the proverbial cookie proverbially crumbles, yeah. that idea seems really far away even though i know high school classmates with kids.

interested in getting married? yes, but if and only if i meet the right person

ready for a career or have one? [sobbing]

which is better…?

lips or eyes? eyes generally, but lips are also Good

hugs or kisses? k i s s e s. i lov to kiss. love hugs too though if it’s with friends

shorter or taller? actually being a similar height to me is optimal! 

older or younger? mmm i tend to subconsciously lean older, but younger is fine too

romantic or spontaneous? the wording seems to imply that “romantic” and “spontaneous” are opposites which just isn’t true. both?? 

nice stomach or nice arms? arms i guess?

sensitive or loud? my first impulse was “loud” but like....loud in that i tend to gravitate to people who are more extroverted than me, but not in terms of being overtly annoying or demanding.

hook-up or relationship? :^) judging by my History(tm) it’d be committed hook-up, lol. but like either is good. am not about sex with a stranger though.

troublemaker or hesitant? troublemaker ~vibes~ but not actually, like, a danger in any way. being hesitant can be cute, but i myself am often pretty hesitant so it can become an Awkwardness Standoff more often than not

have you ever…

kissed a stranger? no, but came damn close in greece

drunk hard liquor? oh yeah lmao

lost glasses or contacts? i’m sure i’ve lost a pair of contacts somewhere in there

had sex on the first date? depends on your definition of “sex”, and also on your definition of “date” really, but also Yeah

broken someone’s heart? i hope not, but i think maybe :/

had your own heart broken? ....ish?

been arrested? nope

turned someone down? yyyyyyep

cried when someone died? not in my memory? though i might have

fallen for a friend? :^) haha oh yeah

do you believe in…

yourself? i try oh my god do i try

miracles? i think

love at first sight? nah. i think intrigue at first sight is a thing, or lust at first sight, or even just a bizarre extraterrestrial sense of Knowing, but real genuine love? nahhhh son you gotta know someone deeply for that. mortifying ordeal of being known and all that

heaven? mm yeah i’d say so

santa claus? no, and i haven’t for a hot minute there

kissing on the first date? lol yeah kiss away

angels? fuck yeah sometimes they’re circle things with 56879879677 eyes and they’re cool af

well in review i have indeed changed quite a bit from myself four years ago! in summary i am more of a thot and also drink alcohol. idk. my answers then ~seemed~ more sure of myself in terms of, like, this façade of being chill all the time, but less sure re: how i related to other people. all my angst on those questions was about school instead of general personhood. 4 years ago i also definitely /remember/ being insecure (at the time) about the fact that i’d never kissed anyone/etc., but my answers themselves don’t look that way. (sidenote being insecure about that kind of thing really isn’t worth it, everyone does life at their own pace.) whereas now i feel more open actively discussing my insecurities (see above re: future plans/etc.) instead of just boxing them down and pretending they don’t exist. as a high schooler i thought i was bad at being a person, and i feel like i’m a lot better at being authentic with myself (and ergo, being a person) now. though of course there is no right way to be a person which is something i still frequently have to remind myself.

ANYWAY yeah that was a fun waste of an hour feel free to use these questions for yrself