#but!! trying not to shoot myself down prematurely!! so HERE WE GO

[birlwrites]

hey! this is your sporadic reminder that i wrote a book!

it's called rainfall, and it's an original fantasy novel, about 70k so a quick read compared to some of my fic lmao, about a blacksmith's apprentice named aurie whose brother becomes the Chosen One and is gifted magic to save their kingdom from a recently installed ecofascist regime.

said brother immediately fucks off into the desert because he doesn't want to do it, so aurie decides she's going to save the kingdom instead, with the aid of a fugitive princess, a gremlin bladesexual, and a hammer. has she ever done anything remotely like this before? no. is she gonna make the ecofascists regret pissing her off? oh HELL yeah. is she gonna impress the princess--NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW AURIE

here's the official description:

Fate doesn't take kindly to broken promises. After an extremist group called the Spring overthrows the king and queen of Hiedos, Hiedean god Larai grants Silan Baridu magic to save the kingdom. Only the Chosen One can save Hiedos, but Silan refuses. His sister Aurie steps up and promises Larai that she will defeat the Spring instead. With the help of a growing rebellion, Aurie works to resist the Spring's regime, but how can she defeat them without Silan's magic? She needs to figure something out fast. Because if Aurie can't keep her promise, then she—and Hiedos—will be in even more danger.

if you're a fan of stga, i think you'll like this! it's faster-paced and more action-heavy than ttdl, with a less intricate plot, so if you're a ttdl reader trying to judge if you'd like this, just keep that in mind. that being said, i think it's a good time!

it's available through a bunch of different retailers, or you can request that your library buy a copy if you want to read it for free. you can get ebook or print copies here!

[lunajay33]

Where’s my Wife?

Summary: Being pregnant Daryl made sure you were always safe but when the wall of Alexandria fell you had no choice but to run, when Daryl gets back he’s stressed trying to find you

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x f!reader

•Masterlist•

“Are you sure you have to go?” I asked running my hand through his hair, feeling him gently lean into my touch

“I gotta go, I’m doin this for you and the baby, can’t risk them walkers gettin out and headin here” he said as he gripped my hips

“Okay but just….just be careful okay? Please come back to me…to us”

“I’ll be back sunshine” he smiled as he got on his bike, the smile that was reserved for me and me only

“I love you D”

“Luv ya too” and with that he was off following Abraham and Sasha

It took a long time for Daryl to be comfortable with saying I love you, I never pressured him I knew what he’s been through and that this whole relationship thing was new to him so we went at his pace, we met at the quarry first when the world went to hell, he found me in the woods alone about to get eaten by a walker but he was there in time shooting the walker in the head with an arrow, since then he’s protected me, first our relationship was quiet just spending time together in silence, but slowly he got more confidence and started being back little gifts from his trips, flowers, bracelet, my favourite drinks and snacks I had mentioned, eventually along the way I became his girl, everyone in our group knew it and didn’t dare do anything that could risk my life

Walking along the streets I made my way towards the communal kitchen craving some chocolate, hopefully Carol was there to let me have a whole bar

Walking through the door the cool air hit me, refreshing from the hot summer heat

“Hey sweetie, are they gone already?” Carol asked as she was rummaging through the food supplies

“Yeah I don’t know something feels off, I’m just nervous I can’t lose him Carol” I sigh sitting on a chair after taking the chocolate out of the fridge, my legs aching from the extra weight

“There’s always a risk going out there but it’s Daryl, he always comes back, just try to get your mind off of it…..how’s the baby?”

“Oh she’s good, kicking a lot, she loves when Daryl talks to her”

“Her?”

“Just a feeling, call it mothers intuition”

“I never would have guessed that thee Daryl Dixon would be having a baby, you’ve really changed him, he’s the happiest with you”

“Thanks Carol, means a lot…I should probably go watch the perimeter, Daryl told me to take it easy”

“Okay be careful hun”

I walked the back wall for a while everything was secure except a little opening at the bottom of one of the panels, it wasn’t too big, not big enough for a walker to slide through so I thought nothing of it, that is until screamed started erupting in the streets, seeing men dressed in black murdering people left and right, I didn’t have enough time to get to a house so I went to the opening in the fence, I kicked it a few times inching it open just a bit more, trying to crawl through desperately feeling the fence cut up my side but this was my only choice to live to protect both me and the baby, finally I got through running through the woods, dodging any walkers that were in the path, eventually I made it to a tree house Daryl had showed me a little farther out of Alexandria, climbing the tree as best I could being exhausted and 8 months pregnant

Slumping down in the run down tree house, feeling the adrenaline wear off, who were those people? Who did they hurt and kill? Where was Daryl and how was I gonna get back when I didn’t know when it was safe

Taking a few breaths to calm myself knowing all this stress and pressure on the baby wasn’t good and I couldn’t afford to go into premature labour, the sun was finally setting and the weather was becoming colder, thankfully there was a few blankets in the corner we had brought out here for when we needed a get away

The crickets eventually lulled me to sleep, hoping that when I woke in the morning everything would be okay again

Daryl pov

After getting shot and the walkers breaking off I just need to get home to protect the only one I’ve every truly loved, she gave me hope when I was finally giving up being pushed around by Merle, when I found her in the woods I knew she was special, never in my life did someone make me feel safe and loved, it was confusing but she never pressured me, then the day on the road she told me she was pregnant I was terrified, we were exhausted low on food and water and she was the only thing keeping me from going off the deep end but she never lost hope that we’d find a home again and like magic the next day we were in Alexandria

The three of us got back to Alexandria to it being run over by walkers, with quick thinking we set the lake on fire and finished off the remaining walkers, running everywhere i screamed for her, slowly the sun was rising when carol came up to me, thankful she was still okay

“Carol have ya seen y/n? I can’t find her”

“I don’t know she came by the kitchen and then she went to watch the perimeter she said then all those wolves came in and I tried to look for her but there was no time”

I ran to the back wall knowing that’s where she usually watched since it had the most shade, finally getting there I searched the wall noticing a break, looking closer there was blood on the ground and covering the edge of the metal, I smashed it open more throwing my crossbow out first before I pushed through, she had to be out her there’s no way I’ve lost her

Normal POV

The sun beamed through the opening of the tree house waking me from the half decant sleep I had, throwing the dusty blanket to the side I sat up groaning as I forgot about the jagged cut that littered my side

Gazing out of the opening making sure the coast was clear I slowly maneuvered my way down the tree cautious of the baby and my wound, my feet hit the ground and an immense pain shot through my belly as my legs became covered in liquid

“Oh no”

She had decided this was the perfect moment to come out, panicked I made my way back to Alexandria hoping everything has settled and the one person I need right now is back home

As I was making my way through the forest twigs snapped alerting me of something, rather it be a walker than one of those people, but when I approached the noise a shaggy haired man came into few and my heart leapt

“Daryl!” I sighed in relief right before a contraction ripped through my body, leaning against a tree groaning as the pain grew

“Angel what’s wrong?” He asked scared as his hand pressed against my back

“She’s coming Daryl, little Dixon is on her way, the stress must have triggered this”

“I’ll get ya both home and safe” he picked me up like I weighed a feather until we were at the gates

“I was so worried about you D, those men attacked and I didn’t know what was happening I just knew I had to protect myself and this baby”

“Shit happened I wanted to come back but couldn’t risk it, I was lookin all night fer ya” he said laying me down on the bed of the little infirmary

“I’m just glad you’re back”

Hours of excrutiating pain came to an end when the sound of little cries echoed in the room

“She’s here, ya were right sunshine” Daryl smiled as he held our little girl close, wrapping her in a little white blanket

He sat on the bed next to me showing me the most adorable baby I’ve ever laid my eyes on

“She’s beautiful D! What should we name her?”

“How bought Lexi?” His suggestion shocked me

“Really? Why Lexi?”

“Don’t know always liked it I guess”

“Then Lexi it is, our little baby girl Lexi!”

[cagemasterfantasy]

3rd Life Remastered IRL Segment 3 part 1/2

A note to all of you this story is ficitonal everyone portrayed in this story (save for Slimer) is real and is used in a fictitious manner. This story is entirely satire everything they say and do is fictional so please do not harass anybody for anything that is said and done in this story. It is recommended to read the other parts of 3rd life remastered before reading this part. This story talks about touchy topics mainly Suicide and Self Harm. The main purpose of this story is to raise awareness for those struggling with mental health. This story is not for the faint of heart. With that being said please enjoy.

Slimer has just became a red life and he is very angry about it the voices in his head telling him he's worthless and he should just end it all. In his mind he won't be ok he NEVER WILL be ok. To me I'm just not- "Hey you doing ok?" A mysterious voice asks. I look up and see that Martyn is standing in the entrance to my tent. "Session's over come on let's go talk to our fans. And hey maybe after we're getting on the public server for the life smp. You in?" I just stare at him for a few moments trying to shake the voices out before saying "S-sure I'm in." Martyn leans forward and whispers in my ear "Are you ok after what happened?" Y-yeah I'm sure it's just hard because it was so sudden there were so many Enderman there but we had to build the portal to get back and an Enderman just teleported right in front of me so I looked at it and-" Martyn interrupts me saying "It's ok it happens to the best of us. Hey I went and put all your stuff in a chest next session go back next to the portal and get your stuff back." I start to calm down a bit and say "Thanks Martyn I really appreciate that"

A few hours later after getting back to the hotel Scar is waiting for me in the lobby. Scar waves at me in his wheelchair and says "Hey buddy so how does it feel being the first to be a red life now?" I look at him with a not so nice face and say "Shut up it's not funny" Scar looks a little offended but regains himself saying "Hey you know tomorrow we have a episode of the Scar Wars Buddies in our discord and our guest star this time since it's been revealed you have Mental Health is you my friend" I look a bit shocked and say "Will that video of me be mentioned at all?" Scar looks serious and says "You remember what everyone agreed we aren't going to talk about that if you don't want to if you want to bring it up though that's on you." I nod and look as Jill enters the lobby with Rylee pulling her. For the first time since I became a Red Life I have a smile on my face. "Hey you think we should invite Jill onto the server? She is my editor after al-" That's when another coughing fit begins and I take a huge puff of my inhaler. "Shoot I'm going to need to buy more at this rate. Rylee is giving me Rubbies yet JIll is making me happier than him and he's all I have left." I think to myself.

Later everyone is on the server and I decide to help Jill out a bit by giving her some starter equipment and that's when I see Rylee sitting next to Scar. "Traitor" I say before heading back to my home base where Etho is already messing around with my chest. "Do I even want to know what you're doing here Etho?" Etho looks at me and says "This is both of our bases I have as much a right to be here as you do even if Jill is with you" I sound serious and say "I meant what are you doing with my stuff" Etho says "I haven't taken anything just putting some stuff in there" Doodl3 watches me look in my stuff sees me turn to Etho and scream "ETHO WHY DID YOU JUST DUMP YOUR ENTIRE INVENTORY INTO MY CHEST." Etho says "It's our chest too we both share this place" "YOU MAKE ANOTHER CHEST NOT DUMP YOUR WHOLE INVENTORY INTO IT" I prematurely take another swig of my inhaler before continuing "YOU KNOW WHAT ETHO YOU STAY ON YOUR SIDE AND I'LL STAY ON MINE" I say before storming off away from the Life VIllage. That's when Gem approaches me and says "Hey what happened?" I sigh and say "Nothing much Etho just dumped his entire inventory into my chest Jill's back there with him till I get back" Meanwhile Etho is Expanding our base so to say Jill is grinning as she sees Etho breaking our house down only to rebuild it much.........wider.

As soon as I come back with Gem and Scar I see a humongous pit in the center of the house. Scar and Gem begin laughing but after a few minutes I calmly ask "Etho.......why is there a humongous pit in the middle of our base?" Etho laughs and says "You said you stay on your side and I'll stay on my side. Now I fixed that problem" I sound furious and say shout "THEY DRAW LINES TO INDICATE SIDES NOT PUT HUMONGOUS CRATERS IN THEIR HOUSE" I then see the chest on the opposite end "HEY WAIT THAT'S MY STUFF IN THERE" Etho shakes his character's head before saying "Yeah too bad it's now on this side" "WELL I'M GETTING MY STUFF BACK" Etho pulls out a Trident and says "Don't do it" He says as I begin blocking my way over. Etho throws the Trident at me and I fall a long way before landing on crafting tables before I can water bucket clutch. Scar suddenly bursts out laughing and says "He's sitting on his bed in our hotel room and he's hugging his dog right now" Gem and Etho burst out laughing before logging out. Before I log off I run up to Grian and say "ANNOYING VOICE AS ALWAYS GRIAN" before logging out. I begin to head to bed and tuck Rylee under my covers before he goes to lay with Scar. "TRAITOR" I say before heading to bed.

I shoot my editor @doodl3 a text saying "Sorry for getting so mad. Etho has been my partner in that server for the longest time and he's always found a way to get on my nerves. Sleep well"

[princesscandijane]

Cucking Intern (Part I Outline Only)

This started from an inspiration from a quick caption someone made from pics of me wearing a diaper and lingerie under my work clothes @mayaswell987 said “What a cuckold wears to work when his wife’s Bull is also his boss… or even more humiliating, his employee!” I loved the idea, and I was looking at one of those pics thinking of making another pic set. It gave me an idea for a caption, which kept getting longer and longer, eventually turning into this rough outline of a story from beginning to end, with some parts going into detail and other areas passing over. I had so many things I wanted to get done at home that day, but instead found myself spending the entire day of over 12 hours writing this. I was in my diaper only getting up to refill my sippy cup with more juice. Maybe one day I will flesh out the details, but I don’t know. This took a long time and it wasn’t even a whole lot (only 12 pages), maybe I’ll create some pics inspired by it, so who knows. I went through with fresh eyes to try to make it coherent, and fix some of the errors, but there are still a lot. For now I will leave it here for the internet to do with it what it will.

Cliche first person story about a guy that has trouble lasting in bed. His wife convinces him to try chastity, which escalates to diapers. At his work they hire a new batch of interns. His wife meets them at a company social meet and greet. One she takes a liking to and they have an affair, she comes clean to him and tells the intern about his chastity and diapered state. The protagonist is clueless about a lot of things. The intern now openly cucks the protagonist. He goes further down with other things of humiliation.  This was written in one sitting, and I am sure there are lots of holes that needed to be plugged (pun intended) 

Wasn't aware of Tumblr's character limit so that's why it is weirdly broken up in 8 parts.

Cucking Intern

It started because I was having issues of being a quick shooter, at times even premature ejaculation. I have had to wash my cum stains off her panties because before her panties were off I was shooting my load on her sexy panties, her beautiful stomach, and luscious thighs. There were even times when I would blow my load in my boxers before my pants were off. Those were some of the extreme cases, caused partly by her wearing something very sexy, and while she is kissing me and I grab her ass, and I can feel my penis grind against her and before I know it I have creamed in my pants.  We would have sex, those were the extreme cases, but regardless my stamina was nothing to brag about. 

We tried using desensitizing creams, and it worked some, I was able to last a little bit longer, but not enough to satisfy her. She had me start by going down on her before I removed my clothes, even when she held my hands to prevent me from touching myself I would move my hips in a way to feel enough in which I would cum in my pants. Everytime I came I would collapse in tiredness and exhaustion, unable to continue and finish her off. Somewhere around this time she had a new shower head installed with several different settings and was removable.  Sense then she started taking really long showers a couple times a day, and after everytime we had sex, or attempted to. 

One day when I came home from work she was already home sitting at the dining room table. In front of her on the table was a small pink plastic tube and ring. Not sure what I was looking at she sat me down and explained that this is a chastity device. She said she read it will help with my ejaculation problem, and it will allow me to last longer in the bedroom. She explained that I was to wear it anytime were not having sex, that it keeps me from having an erection, and she will hold onto the key in a safe place.  I did not like this at all, but we made a deal, she said if I could last 5 minutes she would throw it away and never bring it up again. 2 minutes later she was already in the shower, her panties covered in my cum in the laundry, and a pink plastic cage locked around my now deflated penis.

It certainly worked, just not the way I imagined. It made me last longer because she would not unlock me until she came at least once. It also made me a lot hornier too, by the time she unlocked me I was so horny, the chastity was off for less than a minute before it was being put back on and my mess was there to be cleaned up. My wife left the deal of if I can last more than 5 minutes she will get rid of the chastity. She kept the key hidden from me, and there were times I did try to find it. My wife seemed a bit better with our sex life, I also noticed she was taking shorter showers and only once a day now. 

At first she would get the key and unlock me after I went down on her and she came once. Then it became two, until it became when she had enough, which would sometimes be over an hour. She came home one day with a strap on for me to wear with my chastity so she can fuck me. The dildo was so much bigger than my penis, I asked why she had to get one so big, she chuckled as she said 'sweetie, that is average size.' She would ride me, only on the dildo in so many different positions, I had never seen her like this. I would get so horny I would leak out of my cage onto our sheets. Sometimes she would see that and say 'it looks like you already came, you don't need to be unlocked tonight,' or she might say she is too tired to go get the key and roll over and sleep. I would beg for her to unlock me, or tell me where the key was so I could unlock myself. I would try to bargain with her, but she would say maybe we can talk about it tomorrow. I think she realized how much control those keys gave her. The times between her unlocking me were getting longer, she said the sex has been getting better the longer I go between. I found myself leaking out of my cage during the day soaking the front of my boxers. I mistakenly made that complaint to my wife as a reason why she should unlock me. Instead she found a 'solution' to my problem. I came home from work one day seeing her 'solution,' which was to get rid of my boxers and replace them with diapers. I saw this as I was wearing my last pair of boxers stained from cum. These were not discrete little pullups, these were thick, crinkly, diapers with baby prints. She said she picked out baby looking ones because of how much I have been whining about the chastity device. Now during sex she doesn't bother taking my diaper off, she puts the strap on over it. She said it is so I don't leak all over the sheets.

Going to work with a crinkling diaper was nerve racking, fortunately I had my own office, and there was usually plenty of noise outside my office, so the crinkling didn't stand out. I had to quit coffee and reduce my fluid intake at work, as going to the work bathrooms was out of the question. I tried to hold it the best I could through work, but near the end of the work day I could not hold it longer and found myself finishing the work day sitting in a wet diaper. Fortunately I never wet enough that it was noticeable at work. When I complained that I should at least have pull ups for work so I can use the bathroom there, she thought I seemed to be fine as is and bought me a pacifier to put in my mouth when I started to complain. I was complaining one time about being worried of the diaper getting noticeably full under my slacks, or worse leaking through. She put the pacifier in my mouth to quiet me, but I spit it out telling her I was serious and I should at least wear some type of discreet pullup instead of these baby diapers. She quickly had me over her knees spanking my ass black and blue until I was kicking my legs begging her to stop. She took advantage of me having a private office by sending me to work with an extra diaper to change into if mine gets full, as well as 3 baby bottles with instructions to have them finished by certain times of the day. I found myself needing to change my diaper a little past halfway through the day. I learned then that when she puts a pacifier in my mouth it was a warning to shut up because she will have a solution and I will not like it. I was able to get by at work without anyone noticing that I was wearing a diaper and chastity cage under my clothes by keeping mostly in my office and sneaking my soaked diaper out in my bag.

Every year at work we get a fresh batch of interns, some are hoping to get hired on full time, others happy to have something professional to put on their resume. The company has an after work social meet and greet at a nice bar to introduce the new interns to others in the company in a relaxed setting. My wife was with me as we talked with some of my colleagues and their spouses. Occasionally I would feel her hand sneak down to my diaper butt, feeling my diaper and once squeezed it. She would smile and whisper, 'don't drink too much, we didn't bring a fresh diaper' I was so scared someone would hear her or see her grabbing my diaper. I introduced her to all the new interns and we all chatted a bit with polite conversations. There was one intern my wife seemed a little fascinated with. He was tall and muscular, and used to play wide receiver in college. I never knew my wife to be that interested in football, but she seemed interested in everything he was saying. I even saw them chatting at the bar, shortly before she went to the bathroom. I didn't see where he went. 

My wife's mood was a lot better for weeks following the meet and greet with the interns, although she got really busy at work. She had a new client that kept her busy with work, working late nights, taking late meetings, exhausted and no interest in sex when she got home. Despite this she was smiling and cheerful when she was home. Unfortunately because we were having sex less I was getting unlocked less. I asked her if I can be unlocked on nights we weren't having sex so I can jerk off in the bathroom. She said no because she may decide she wants sex later and wants me to be ready.

One time I complained too much about how long it has been sense we had sex and I had cum that she thought it best I remember my true position and took away my big boy privileges at home. As soon as I get home I drop to the floor on my hands and knees as I take off my work clothes until I am in nothing but a diaper. From there my big boy privileges like walking and talking are taken away and I have to crawl around anywhere I go. My wife thought it looked strange for someone crawling around in a diaper to have so much man hair and had me keep myself as smooth as a baby's bottom. She started buying me little shirts to wear under my work clothes so when I got home I could remove my work clothes and instantly look like a baby. Things that said ‘I’m a baby’ or ‘pampered.’ The shirts were getting noticeably more girly, one even said ‘baby girl in training.’ We weren't having that much sex, and when I really started begging to be unlocked is when she would start making a list of things I needed to do first. It started out with simple chores, but everytime I wanted to cum, more things were added to what was called my to-cum list. As if she was seeing how far I would go, while making it gradual enough that I ultimately cave. More chores were added, she would add slightly more embarrassing things for me to wear around the house, like a onesie or a little baby dress. Something I didn’t want to wear, but if it meant I was going to be unlocked and get to cum it wasn’t that bad. My to-cum list grew to where it would take me a couple days to do them, and some were perpetual, such as doing the dishes, taking off her shoes and rubbing her feet when she got home from work.

One evening while my wife was working late I was so horny I was laying on the floor and when I started to move it started to feel good. I started grinding my hips on the floor, feeling some pleasure, almost as if I might be able to cum.  I got lost in humping the floor in my diaper. I didn't even notice my wife standing there looking down at me as I was doing this, I eventually gave up in frustration, turned and saw her standing there with a grin ‘was that fun? I think you lasted longer with the floor than with anything.’ Frustrated for not being able to cum and embarrassed for her seeing me like that I crawled to her and gave her her foot rub. When I was unlocked I was starting to get better at lasting longer, seeing me hump in my diaper gave her the idea I should be diapered when I cum so there isn’t a mess. She started untapeing my diaper to unlock me, put the tapes back on and let me hump or rub the front of my diaper. She would put the chastity back on and tape me back up in the same diaper leaving me to sleep in my cum soaked diaper. Though I was pretty sure I was getting to five minutes, granted in my diaper, but it felt like with this embarrassment I could last longer than 5 minutes. My wife did let me have sex with her to prove how long I could last, it was so embarrassing, she brought out a kitchen timer and set it to five minutes. ‘Ok baby, let’s see what goes off first, you or the timer.’ She guided me in her while she was on her back in basic missionary. As soon as I was all the way in she said ‘you are so big,’ without any enthusiasm as if reading from a cue card. After the sounds she made with the strapon, she wasn’t even trying to sound like she was faking. She said, ‘that’s it, right there, keep going, don’t stop I’m about to cum,’ even though I knew she wasn’t as soon as the words ‘don’t stop i’m about to cum’ left her mouth I felt myself go past the point of no return, my wife recognized my face, and started chuckling. I spurted inside her to the sound of her laughing and the ticking of the kitchen timer. She locked me back up, and put me in a diaper.  As she finished taping my diaper the kitchen timer went off.

[cryonme]

𝐈 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐁𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐕

PART FIVE- “Just Because They’re Not Here Doesn’t Mean They Stopped Being Wonderful.”

part one here

part two here

part three here

part four here

short series- jj maybank x kook!reader

word count- 4.3k

tw- guns, knives, mentions of weed, stabbing, swearing, mentions of death, fluff 😊, angst 👿, mentions of murder, fighting, drinking, mentions of stitches and hospitals. lmk if I missed anything

a/n- don’t u all love how I said this was gonna be a “short” series and now we’re at 19.2k words total and five parts? and not even done yet? lol. anyway, this chapter is a fucking rollercoaster of emotions and shit gets really real really fast so hold onto your hats, grab some popcorn, and happy reading!

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

“Wait, what the fuck?”

Your friends all stared at you with wide eyes, mouths agape. JJ’s grip tightened on your thigh, you winced a little but he didn’t let up, which you were glad he didn’t.

“Wait, your mom is dead?” John B asked, earning a smack on the back of the head from Sarah.

“You had a sister?!” Pope explained, confusion plastered on his face. “I thought that was just a ru- OW!” A smack from Kiara.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. “Yeah.”

“You think you know a person then all of the sudden she has a dead mom and sister who were killed by her step brother that you didn’t know about.” John B said, a hint of humor in his voice.

“This isn’t funny, John B.” Sarah scolded.

“It’s fine, Sarah.” You assured your friend. “Look, I know I’m a shit friend for not telling you guys things about my life. Tyler, the abortion, my mom and sister. And I’ll work on getting better at it but all of that isn’t important right now, okay?” You looked between John B and Pope, waiting expectedly before they both nodded and backed off.

“What makes you say that, (Y/n)?” Kie asked you, fully turning her attention to you.

“Well when- um, when Tyler showed up at my house that day,” You swallowed your fear, sitting up straight and taking a deep breath. “When Tyler showed up at my house that day, he said ‘I did everything I could to get my mom to marry your dad. My mom doesn’t know, but what she doesn’t know won’t kill her, and now you’re ruining everything with your fat fucking mouth.’”

The room was silent. Nobody really knew what to make out of all of this, all this time you had come off so unbothered, like your life was picture perfect and there was never a dark cloud in your sky. Everything that had happened the past couple of weeks came out of nowhere for the group of friends, especially JJ, John B and Pope, who didn’t even know you had a step brother. But when the three thought back on it, they never really asked.

After about a minute of everyone sitting in shock, Sarah spoke up, “Well, we need to tell your dad and Christine, right?’

You shook your head, “Not until I have enough proof. The entire island’s eyes are on me right now and if I’m wrong I make a fool of myself. I know this is gonna sound really stupid but, I need to find Tyler.”

“No.” JJ protested, his voice sharp.

“You’re right, (Y/n). That does sound stupid.” Pope agreed.

“Super stupid.” John B chimed in.

“I love you, but I have never heard more stupid words leave your mouth.” Kiara said.

“Guys, maybe hear her out.” Sarah said.

Kie whipped her head to the side, looking at the blonde girl in bewilderment. “Seriously? I’m not listening to you when all you seem to do is put (Y/n) in more danger.”

“I didn’t mean to! I didn’t know what the fuck to do!” “You tell someone, dumbass!”

“Jesus, you two! Shut the fuck up!” You interjected, standing up and stomping your foot, ignoring the shooting pain going up your leg.

“I came here because I need help, not to sit here and be judged and have you two fight with each other. Kie, lay off. I begged Sarah not to say anything until I was ready, and promised not to go home until I said something, okay? And you two.” You gestured to John B and Pope, “Telling me I’m stupid for something that I haven’t even explained yet is a little premature. Can we all fucking focus?” You had your time to cry and allow yourself to be broken, but now it was time to get shit done.

Kie shrunk in her seat, muttering a half assed “Sorry” under her breath and crossing her arms. John B and Pope nodded, both boys looking down at their shoes. You sat back down and JJ’s hand returned to its rightful spot on your thigh.

“Now, just, listen to me for a second. We,” You put the emphasis on that word so everyone would be a little bit more open to the idea, “Need to find Tyler so we can somehow record a confession from him. I’ll rile him up, and once I get the confession we get the fuck out. Got it?”

“How the fuck are you gonna find him? Even the Sheriff's department can’t find him.” Sarah said.

“Right,” You responded, “First thing to consider, the police are incompetent, especially here. They probably looked at my house and his job before giving up.”

JJ chuckled, shaking his head as he listened to you talk in awe.

“Second thing to consider, I have his number. I can ask him to meet up and talk it out.”

“The more you talk, the more I really don’t like this plan.” JJ muttered, raking his fingers through his hair.

“The more you talk, the more I wanna kick your teeth in.” You smiled sweetly, “This is the only way.” You tried pulling a joke, but JJ’s face remained concerned, so your face fell and you leaned into him. “I’ll be okay, JJ. I’ve been dealing with Tyler for years, okay?”

JJ nodded, taking a deep breath before pulling away from you.

“So what can we do?”

“Wherever I meet up with Tyler, I need you all to be on standby. Someone on lookout, someone hiding near me just in case things go south, and someone waiting in the vam.”

Everyone agreed in unison, nodding their heads. “Anything we can to get this asshole put away.” John B said, giving you an encouraging smile.

+

After going over a few details, and finally sending the text to Tyler that you wanted to meet up, the pogues dispersed around the chateau. Pope was talking Sarah’s ear off about the latest book he had just finished while she politely listened and even threw in a couple of her own thoughts, John B and Kie playfully jabbed long sticks at each other, and JJ stood on the porch, watching you swing by yourself on the hammock, lost in thought. He was trying to decide if he should approach you, or give you space. Just then you turned your head and made eye contact with the blond boy, a soft smile on your face, your signature red lipstick back where it belongs.

Fuck space.

He bounded down the stairs and made his way over to you on the hammock, plopping down next to you. Neither of you said anything for a couple minutes, there wasn’t much to say.

“I was 14.” You said, breaking the silence, causing JJ’s head to turn towards you. He stayed silent as you continued.

“Hit and run.” You laughed bitterly. “My little sister was 12. We were finally getting to the point where we didn’t fight everyday, we were becoming friends. She had just started asking me for advice about boys and was always asking to have sleepovers.” You smiled, remembering your little sister fondly. “It still hurts. It’ll always hurt, I think. But, I’ve learned I can’t change what happened, and I try to be thankful for the time I had with her. I would say she probably wouldn’t want me to be sad, but that’s not true, she loved attention.” JJ laughed with you this time.

“What’s her name?” JJ asked.

“Layla.” You responded, her name feeling weird on your tongue. You hadn’t said her name in years. “And my mom, gosh there was no one like my mom.” JJ wasn’t asking, but you were telling.

“She just always understood, you know? She’d let me stay home if my mind was taking over, she continued to buy the ice cream I told her was my favorite when I was 7, I didn’t have the heart to tell her I didn’t like it anymore.” You frowned, staring at your hands. “Christine is great, I love her with everything in me. But sometimes I wish she was in my life under different circumstances.”

JJ nodded in understanding, taking his hand in yours and pressing a lingering kiss to it. “They sound wonderful.”

“They are- were.”

JJ shook his head, “Just because they’re not here doesn’t mean they stopped being wonderful.”

You yanked JJ’s hand so his arm wrapped around your shoulder and you leaned into him, earning a sweet kiss on the top of your head.

“You’re sweet, princess.” You teased, using the nickname that you would use when the two of you fought.

“Tell anyone and you’re dead meat, baby.”

You laughed, resting your head on his chest. “What changed your mind about me?” You asked, biting your bottom lip.

JJ thought for a moment, mulling over his words to avoid saying the wrong thing.

“I never changed my mind.”

Your heart dropped as you began to pull away, feeling embarrassed.

“Uh uh uh, let me finish.” JJ pulled you back against him and you huffed. “I never changed my mind because I’ve felt this way about you all along. I’ve never had such strong feelings for a person before, so when you came along I mistook all of the signs as hatred. My mom left and my dad…” JJ trailed off for a moment, trying to put together his words in the least concerning way possible, “My dad takes his anger out on me. And I just never really learned how to receive love, or how to understand it.”

Your heart sank at JJ’s words. All those times he’d show up to the Chateau with bruises and scrapes, telling everyone to fuck off instead of boasting about how he “totally kicked that kooks ass”, it was his dad.

“JJ-”

“Mmm, let’s not do that now, yeah? Just know I’ve adored you this whole time, I was just too stupid to see it.”

“When did you change your mind about me?” JJ asked.

You pondered for a moment, thinking back on when you first started thinking of JJ differently.

“That night at the Boneyard, when Tyler showed up. I was dancing with Pope and all I could think was, ‘I need JJ’, and then there you were. I didn’t want you to ever leave my side again. When you took me back to the Chateau and sat me down on the couch, I was confused because I felt so safe and loved, more than I ever have. It was so out of the blue. Hours before we had just been screaming at each other and then I never wanted you to let me go.”

“You’re making this really hard, Red.” JJ huffed, running a hand over his face.

“What?” You asked craning your neck to look up at him.

“Not kissing you.”

You sat up from your position on his chest, turning your body so you were facing each other, your legs hanging off one side of the hammock and his off the other.

“Then kiss me.”

“(Y/n)...”

“What, scared?”

JJ didn’t say anything, he just looked at you. You had that striking red grin, and your eyes held that glint of mischief and joy.

“You were just inconsolable like, an hour ago.”

“But I’m not now.”

“I-”

“Please, JJ.” You pouted, your eyes big and your frown deep as you slowly reached for him.

And he couldn’t say no to that face.

He slowly brought his hand up to cradle the side of your neck, his thumb resting on your cheek as his face slowly leaned into yours, his hand softly pulling you closer by the neck. You brought one hand up to the back of his neck, burying your fingers in his hair as his other hand found its place on your waist. You stared at each other for a moment, noses barely touching. Your heart was beating so fast you felt like it was about to crawl out of your throat, the anticipation was driving you crazy but you were also cherishing every second of it, just being so close to him, knowing what’s about to happen.

His lips just barely brushed over yours and your entire body erupted in butterflies, goosebumps dancing all up and down your arms and legs.

“You fucker.” You teased and JJ giggled before fully planting his lips on yours. You felt like you had been on fire and had been dumped into an ice bath. The relief that covered your entire body and soul was something you had never felt before. You had kissed plenty of people in your lifetime, and nothing had ever compared to the feeling you had kissing JJ.

You pulled away for a moment to catch your breath, but JJ whined and pulled you back into him, bringing you to sit on his lap as he continued to kiss you. You both giggled and broke apart when you nearly toppled out of the hammock, JJ’s hands immediately steadying you. He looked up at you while stroking your cheekbone with his thumb before planting soft kisses to your arm, trailing his lips up to your shoulder, neck, cheek and finally one last sweet kiss on your lips.

“Well it’s about goddamn time!” John B yelled as the rest of the pogues whooped and hollered, jumping up and down. Both of you flipped off your friends and JJ kissed you once more, your middle fingers still in the air.

“You’re fucking incredible.” JJ muttered once you broke yet another kiss.

“I know.” You smirked.

Once JJ helped you off the hammock, with a lot of wincing and you telling him his kissing made your bruised lip hurt, you made your way back over to your friends, an unmistakable feeling of joy filling everyone’s hearts.

John B handed you and JJ a beer, which you had to decline because of your concussion, much to your dismay, but you gladly took the joint that Kie offered you, blowing out the smoke into JJ’s mouth before taking the hit for yourself. The sun started to set on the Chateau, so Pope and John B set up a fire and Kie brought out her ukulele, her and Sarah singing in harmony to Over the Rainbow by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole. Your heart swelled in your chest listening to JJ quietly singing along with his arm slung around your shoulders, his face was tinted the slightest shade of pink from being in the sun all day, making his eyes look impossibly more blue. You knew tomorrow brought troubles and anxiety, but you pushed them to the back of your mind, enjoying this beautiful moment with your friends. You rested your head on JJ’s shoulder, your hand coming up to hold his that was around your shoulder, placing a gentle kiss on his hand. JJ blushed and squeezed you just a little bit tighter.

“(Y/n), you staying the night?”

You smiled and nodded, your eyes a bit droopy from the weed. You had texted Christine already, telling her you were staying the night and assuring her that everyone was staying the night and you were safe.

“Yes!” Sarah exclaimed, getting up from her spot next to John B. “More beer?” Everyone apart from you nodded as Sarah made her way inside the house to grab more cold beer.

“Aw, well if it isn’t the goonies.”​​

That voice.

Tyler approached the Chateau, Topper, Kelce and Rafe hot on his heels.

Everyone stood up immediately, JJ pushed you behind him without a second thought.

“Heard my baby sister wanted to meet up tonight, thought I’d come to her, spare her the trouble.” Tyler said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

You were appreciative of JJ’s protectiveness over you, but this was your fight. “I know what you did, Tyler.” You said, trying your hardest to hide the shakiness in your voice as you pushed JJ out of your way, taking a couple steps forward.

“There she is!” Tyler exclaimed, gesturing his arms to you. “You don’t know shit, dumbass.”

“You killed my mom and sister.”

“Me?” Tyler raised a hand to his chest in shock and turned to his friends, who all shook their heads like you were crazy. “I would never do such a thing.” “You said-”

“Did you hit your head too hard the other day? Sounds to me like you’re making things up.”

He was trying to make you feel crazy, and you weren’t putting up with it.

“What was your plan, huh?” You asked, standing your ground. “Hit my mom and my little sister with your car, devastating my family so my dad could go running into your unknowing mother’s arms. Were you gonna kill all of us next so you could get the money? How exactly did you plan on doing that?”

Tyler’s chest was heaving up and down, sharp breaths coming in and out of his nose.

“Layla was 12 years old, you psychopath.”

“I never meant to kill your fucking sister!”

And there it was. Eerie silence fell over the Chateau like a heavy blanket.

“You motherfucker.” You shrieked, stomping forward and sending your hand flying across his cheek. Before you could even blink, Tyler had his hand around your throat and the barrel of a gun pressed to your jaw. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. You could see the pogues, Kiara with a hand over her mouth and tears in her eyes, hugging Sarah close to her, John B and Pope holding JJ back, his eyes wild with anger and fear. You could see Topper and Kelce with wide eyes, obviously unaware of the gun in your step brother's possession. You could see Rafe with a knowing grin on his face. Bastard.

You were terrified, panic surging through your body as you tried to stay still so you wouldn’t anger him with any sudden movements.

“Any of you even think about moving and I kill her!” He screamed.

“Tyler, put the gun down man, what the fuck?” Topper said, his voice calm, trying to talk him down.

“Fuck you!”

And suddenly Tyler was on the ground, the gun flying into the darkness. JJ wasted no time running to your step brother, grabbing him by his shirt collar and beating his face with his fists. You and Rafe made eye contact before both of you made a break for the gun, scrambling through the darkness. Rafe tackled you down and tried to reach for it, but you kneed him in the crotch, hoping to buy you a couple seconds. The Cameron boy groaned and held his area, toppling over and whining in a fetal position.

“Pussy boy.” You rolled your eyes and crawled toward the gun, smiling once it was in your grip before Rafe pulled you back by your ankle. You flipped over onto your back and pointed the gun at him.

“You don’t have the guts.”

“Self defense, bitch. Now get off of me.”

Rafe backed up with his hands in the air and you made your way back to the group, gun in hand, still pointed at Rafe. Tyler and JJ were going at it, both throwing punches and kicks, the rest of the group fighting off Topper and Kelce.

“Back off my friends or I'll shoot!” You yelled, and everyone stopped and turned to you with your gun pointed at Rafe. The three kooks backed off with their hands up in surrender.

“You won’t shoot me, Little Red.” Tyler said, walking closer to you.

“I will if you try anything.” You responded, taking the gun off of Rafe and shoving him forward so he was still in your eyesight, now pointing it at Tyler.  

“You stay away from her!” JJ yelled, charging towards Tyler but quickly being held back by Rafe and Topper.

Tyler got so close to you that the gun was touching his t-shirt.

Why was he testing you? He had to have something up his sleeve.

The motherfucker literally had something up his sleeve.

Tyler tore a switchblade out of his jacket sleeve and jabbed it into your collarbone, and in the same second you fired the gun.

Your brain felt fuzzy, you couldn’t even feel the knife in your collarbone, the only way you knew it was there was because you could see it sticking out of the corner of your eye.

You heard screams, multiple screams.

Footsteps running away.

Was someone crying?

Were you crying?

Everyone ran to you, JJ leading the group, so he got to you first. He immediately put his hands on your face, frantically searching your eyes before you dropped to your knees, JJ following suit.

“Baby, look at me.” He said firmly. Someone gently took the gun from your hands, why were you still holding it? You brought your hand up to touch the knife, crying out in pain from the smallest touch.

“No, don’t touch it, okay? Leave it alone, paramedics are on their way okay?”

You still didn’t look at him, your eyes were wide as you stared at everyone around you, their faces full of concern.

“She’s in shock.” Pope stated. He was crouched in front of you, next to JJ. “Try to bring her back to reality.”

“How the fuck do I do that?” JJ snapped.

“Chill, JJ! Talk to her, touch her, anything!”

JJ’s left hand continued to cradle your face and you leaned into his touch as his right hand threaded through your hair. “You’re okay, okay? Can you talk to me?” His voice broke, tears beginning to fill his blue eyes.

Your eyes wandered away from the group and landed on Tyler’s body, lifeless. You let out a gasp as if all of the wind had been knocked out of your body.

“I killed him.” You rasped.

JJ quickly moved in front of the body, blocking your view of him. Your breathing was shallow as you brought your hands up to your neck, trying to claw at the skin to make way for you to breathe. Pope’s hands gently grabbed yours, moving them away from your neck and holding them in your lap. JJ gave him a thankful nod and he situated himself in front of you.

“Christine-” Your body flooded with guilt and sadness for your stepmom, that was her son. He may have done unspeakable things to you and her family but that was her son. And you killed him.

“Hey, hey, hey. Shhh,” JJ was quick to stop the terrible thought. “You had to, okay? She’ll understand. Just focus on me, baby.”

You nodded and squeezed Pope’s hands, focusing your eyes on JJ’s.

“You’re doing so good, pretty girl. Just a couple more minutes, okay?”

You nodded again. The pain in your collarbone was beginning to worsen as your shock wore off and you whimpered.

Great, you thought, another fucking injury to make my life even better.

Really your whole body hurt, your concussion and bruises worsening and stitches ripping open from Rafe tackling you to the ground.

“It hurts.” You whine, a single tear escaping from your eye, JJ wiped it before it could run down your face. “I know.” He whispered. “I know, my love, I’m so sorry.” He rested his forehead on yours, trying his best to give you as much comfort as he could without pulling you against him and driving the blade further in.

“Fuck, you guys. We didn’t get a recording.” Kie said, slapping her palm against her forehead. You removed one hand from Pope’s and worked through your pain and brought your phone out of your back pocket, tossing it on the ground, not having enough strength to hand it to her.

John B picked it up and smiled, your phone had been recording the entire time, starting just a minute after Tyler made himself known at the Chateau.

“(Y/n), you magnificent kook.” John B said, giving your arm a squeeze. You had moved your forehead to rest on JJ’s shoulder, your body posed awkwardly to avoid the knife being touched, one hand still in Pope’s.

Everyone was relieved, but the dead body in their presence and the knife in your body made it hard to be completely relieved. Once the paramedics and police arrived, JJ had to release you from his hold, watching the paramedics put you on the gurney and load you in the back of the ambulance, by yourself, for the second time.

Kiara and Pope were talking to the police, showing them the proof on your phone and the gun and walking them through everything that happened while JJ watched the ambulance drive away, as soon as it was out of sight he broke down, John B quick to pull his friend into his arms, Sarah gently leaned her head on his back, her hand coming up to stroke his back

“She doesn’t deserve any of this.” JJ cried, holding onto his best friend. He knew you were gonna be okay, the paramedics said the knife would be easy to remove and they could stitch up the wound easily, but he was worried about you. You would never be the same.

“She doesn’t.” John B agreed.

“I just want her to be okay.”

“I know, bubba, me too.” John B replied, his own tears brimming in his eyes, “She will be.”

JJ could feel Sarah shaking against him, her tears wetting his shirt and he unravelved in arm from John B to bring her into the hug. “Get in here, kook princess.” JJ teased through his tears. Pope and Kiara soon joined the group hug, comforting their friends through touch.

“What did Shoupe say?” JJ asked once they all pulled away, wiping at his tears.

“They said (Y/n)’s okay, a very obvious case of self defense, but they’re still going to ask her a couple questions once she’s of sound mind.” Pope answered and Kiara nodded.

“Thank God.” Sarah breathed out and JJ’s shoulders relaxed in relief, one less thing to worry about.

“Well why are we all just standing here?” John B asked after a couple moments of silence. “Let’s go see our girl.”

+

“I am still meeeeee you are still youuuuu” I couldn’t get that damn song out of my head while I was writing this

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[thatiranianphantom]

This is a long one:

I forced myself to watch 517/518/519 again and I believe the time reset theory simply because those 3 episodes are the most inconsistent ones I’ve ever seen. Riverdale has always been inconsistent but the errors in these ones are from one episode to another. By 516/517 you could at least say the characters were falling into place (as much as you can say they were). Veronica and Archie were building their relationship because Veronica is finally divorced. She confronted her father. Betty and Jughead had that conversation about their trauma that didn’t do much but it was something. Jughead solved the Mothman case so they could move on from that. You had Tabitha being like "everyone told me there wasn’t a mystery you two couldn’t solve" and the smile with their song on the back so like at this point Jabitha being romantic was very weird when they had Tabitha pushing for them.

Like - the mines explosion happened and Cheryl started her magic thing. We had 518 with "next to normal" the musical that felt so weird and out of place. And I believe 100% this musical was going to be different with BH singing Hey #1 (because it was teased by the emojis and so many of the conversations between them) and if you think about it, Hey #1/Perfect For You fit the current story line with BH. Like – Betty singing the: "You say that right here. But then give it a year. Or 10 years or a life. I could end up your wife. Sitting staring at walls. Throwing shit down the stairs. Freaking out at the store. Running nude down the street. Bleeding out in the batht-" and Jughead with the "-Perfect for you. I will be perfect for you. So you could go crazy. Or I could go crazy, it's true." it would’ve been cathartic for these two characters that have showed so much instances of mental health and trauma because in the musical Henry is stoned and Natalie described her life as a disaster. Instated, they butchered and changed the lyrics of the song for Jabitha, which made not sense and completely removes the meaning of the song. I believe the rumors that while preparing to film 518/519, the network green lighted the special.

Again on 518, in one moment we have happy Veronica over the idea of moving in with Archie and then she’s breaking up with him (and while I understood the logic behind it, it wasn’t earned because their life in NY vs Riverdale wasn’t an issue they discussed and it could’ve been great if it came out later). Alright, so Betty is all sad mourning Polly with Kevin (because Archie didn’t even ask her if she was okay) but on 519 all of them are so happy and friendly. Betty got over the murder of her sister and wants to try officially with Archie (after they broke up because it didn’t work between them, after Archie confessed to still loving Veronica. Right after Veronica broke up with him, only that we are on season 6 and not even them know if they are dating). Jabitha is romantic suddenly after pretty platonic, non-reciprocated interactions and the writers have them copying the iconic BH 316 kiss (and overall episode) when they burn the trailer only with zero passion or narrative substance.

It seems like the characters did one thing on 517 and then changed their mind one episode after. Not only their minds but personalities. I believe they changed the finale prematurely so it looked that awful, but the 517 time resets is a good way to correct that mess.

Okay first of all my inbox is a mess but I am getting to it! I haven't gotten this many messages in months and yesterday (yes I saw the freakouts) I was Not In The Mood™ but I love answering questions so I am getting to them!

(also, to everyone's shock but especially mine, 90-95% of the messages in my inbox are not trolls?)

Anyhow, you said it, anon. The show has never been 100% consistent but they at least remembered the barest of plot points. 518 felt like entering another universe. Also, the event was announced around April of last year I think, around the time they'd be shooting 518. I think some hasty rewrites went into that.

Can't decide whether I want them to erase everything after 517 or not. It'd definitely make me feel like the last season was a waste, but hey, it was a waste anyway so 🤷‍♀️ . The only thing I'm suspicious of is if the mines are in 618 that's quite too early it seems?

But hey, it's Riverdale. It'll make no sense anyway.

[bodyswapmischief]

Carrying my Father's Weight

I can't believe the person I was looking at was me. I looked at myself in the mirror and I patted my beefy stomach. Although it might not seem like it, this was the fittest I've been, since puberty. I ended highschool weighing 280lbs. Coming into college I feared the freshman 15. But, I knew I couldn't let that happen. Now, I stand here weighing 220lbs. My first year of college completed and ready to go home. Even though I don't have abs yet, I can't wait to show off my progress.

However, I would be lying if I didn't say I dreaded going back and seeing my dad. He's not mean or abusive. In fact he was a really good dad. Growing up, it was just me and him. After my mom died, my dad's whole life changed. Instead of falling into a depression, he started working out. He transformed from average chubby dad body to hot as fuck personal trainer.

However his good genetics skipped me. As a kid I was skinny. But once puberty hit, my metabolism just went down the drain. And, I piled on weight non stop. It felt awkward being the fat son of a personal trainer. He tried hard to make me feel better about myself. We went to doctors but nothing worked. But, I still felt like shit looking at him walk around shirtless, get all the attention from my ladies, and be admired by my teachers and friends. Most people couldn't believe I was his son.

The worst part is that by the time I was a senior in highschool, we looked the same age. How is that possible, you wonder. I have know idea, and I would like the answer myself. It probably help he had me when he was young. He was 16 when he got my mom pregnant. But still, he looked like he was in his mid 20s. I on the other hand, probably, prematurely aged because how fat I was. Instead of looking 17, I looked like I was, also l, in my mid 20s. Most people thought we were brothers and a few people mistaked me for the older brother.

But, it wasn't all bad. Yeah, I did get made fun of, by my friends. But, looking older than my age made me popular. Having a full beard and beer belly was all the ID to by beer for all my friends to underage drink. Nonetheless, I enjoyed my time away from my dad. It was a nice break. But, in a way I missed him, too.

But, upon landing, I was looking at something I never expected to see. I saw my dad. But he was not the fit 200lb man of pure muscle. No, staring at me was as 300lb man of pure fat. His stomach is sagging. There are fat filled breast were his pecs once were. And, he begins to waddle his way towards me. His face looks aged ... more like a man in his late 40s. Yet, a smile on his fat filled face. I recognize that he is using my old clothes.

He tells me I look good, strong, and like I have been working out. But, I'm completely shocked. He ask me questions. And, I give mindless answers. For most of the ride home I stay silent. His tries to tell me that an injury caused him to have to stop working out. And, as soon as he stopped working out the weight just piled on. But, it doesn't make sense. And, after awhile I don't care if it makes sense. I'm finally the hot one. I start making some fat jokes. His face gets red, but he laughs. He tells me "I guessed I had those coming."

It was late when we got home and we both were incredibly tired. I took my stuff to my room and instantly lied on my bed. Ideas of hanging out with my friends and new fat dad filled my mind.

But, as the sun rose. I notice my body feels groggy and sore. My lower back is in so much pain. So, I tried to roll on my side. But, I struggle. My eyes shoot awake has I recognized the sensation. It like I am 280lbs again with a big belly in the way. I tear off the blankets and use all my energy to sit up. Ripped pieces of fabric, lay under my fat body. My belly hangs between my legs and my hairy breast sit on the shelf of my stomach. I look the fattest I ever have been. I look even fatter than my dad was yesterday. I start to notice that my body seems hairier and specks of grey are sprinkled in.

I waddle to the closest mirror and panic. I saw my face, but it looked older. I look like I was in my 40s. I went on the scale and it read 320lbs. This was in fact the biggest I have ever been. I squeezed into the biggest clothes, I had. But, now they are too tight. My sweat pants are skin tight. And my shirt doesn't fully cover my beach ball stomach.

I stumble through the hallway and down the stairs, in a hurry, calling for my dad. As, I enter the kitchen, I have to lean against a counter. My heart is beating fast and I am out of breath. A young man enters the kitchen from the back door. He looked no older than 20. He looks at me and smiles.

"Hey, Dad, you good. I just came back from my run. You should join me. But, by that tight sweat stained shirt ... It looks like coming down the stairs is exercise enough." He laughs as he rubbed his sweaty chiseled abs.

I immediately recognized him, although this is the youngest I have ever seen him. This new young jock infront of me is my dad. "Dad, what the fuck is going on..." I say between breathes, I can feel all this confusion and excitement affecting my heart.

My dad, in his new young body just laughs. "My memory charms never did work on you. Well, I guess your old enough to know, now. I mean you are my son after all. Our family are descendants of an ancient race. We have abilities that help us survive. But, I have been shunned and cursed. I have the ability to trade any aspect of a person body. I can steal everything if I want to ... to become them. But, I abused this power and my own kind cursed me to gain weight at an incredibly fast speed. I knew eventually I would have to leave this body and trade it for a completely knew fit body, like I have done a thousand time before. But, I grew tired of not having an identity to call my own. And, out of all my vessels this was the best."

The man talking to me was not the father I knew. There was evil in his eyes. My heavy body shook as he threw me from my seat onto the floor. My back in even more pain. He chokes me with one hand and caresses my face with the other.

He continues, "That's were you coming in. Being my spawn, you also gained a gift. The more fat you have, the faster your metabolism becomes. And, you body naturally forms muscle. You have the gift of vitality. So, since you were young I drained you of your muscle. I fed you my fat. But, since you've been away from me our connection was weak. But, now that your back I dumped months worth of fat into you. I may have gotten greedy by taking some of your youth. But, don't worry I'll keep you as young as you need to be to stay alive. Oh, and I believe your college days are over. Now to the world, you'll be my over weight father and I'll be the all star son. It been thousands of years since I've been able to enjoy a body, with out the fear of gaining weight. No more jumping in and out of lives. Now that you know the truth, I don't have to hold back. All the weight that I gain will instantly go to you. No more careful planning like when you were just a boy. By my calculation. With my endless fat supply and your ability to burn off fat ... your weight will balance out at the good old size of 400lbs. So, 80 more pounds to go untill your at your permanent weight. So enjoy this size will you can big guy."

My dad stops choking me and pats my stomach. "Your gonna be one big fat daddy. But, I'll take care of you pops. Now, you should rush to a store and get fatter clothes, before nothing in this house fits you anymore. But, by the looks of it, it's already too late. Guess you gotta get creative, and remember all the credit cards are under my name. I'm going to break you boy. I'm going drill into to your head the you will for the rest of eternity be a big fat giant blob of walking fat. Living under you "son"s" shadow. Now, while you figure out how to adjust to your 400lb life. I'm gonna finally have some fun. And don't think of trying something funny becuase weight gain isn't even the worst thing I can do to you."

By this point tears are rushing down my face. My dad puts on a shirt, grabs the keys and walks out the door. I struggle to stand, as I feel my body very slowly gain weight. The shirt I was wearing rips off my body. Through the mirror I can see new roles of fat forming. I waddle to the scale. It now reads 233.56lbs and counting. The sweats and underwear have big rips do to my fat ass. I hold my gut in my hands. I wipe the tears from my eyes. And, I think "what the fuck just happened and what am I gonna do."

[odd-birds-and-booksellers]

“Alex…” Jo interrupts, her hand slowly curing round his, the one resting on her bump. He can feel his lips trembling as the tears he’d fought so hard to keep at bay begin to fall. 

"I put glow in the dark stars up.” He whispered. "So she can't be dead."

On one of the rare occasions, Alex and Jo’s days off don’t coincide, Alex finds himself wishing for a six-hour surgery, hell he’d rather be removing splinters than deciding between lemon sherbet and soft daffodil. To say he was excited about the impending arrival of their second child would be an understatement but completing the ridiculously long list Jo had left him to do this morning before rushing off with Robin felt more like torture.

He understood though, with only two months to go everything seemed to pile up on them, the quiet calm they had mistaken for panic when Robin was on the way paled in comparison when they were trying to juggle two full time demanding careers, a new puppy, a new baby and a toddler whose main goal in life seemed to be giving his parents a heart attack with the many hiding places he could find.

And this is how Alex found himself staring into the abyss of a million Amazon boxes that Jo had somehow managed to sneak by him, with various shades of yellow paint cans dotted around.

He understood Jo’s desire to make everything perfect, she’d been that way since she’d stepped out of the loft bathroom over two years ago, her hands shaking as she lifted the test towards him clearly displaying two lines. He swears they both had good intentions when Robin was born, he wouldn’t be spoiled, there wouldn't be gifts that make up for missing birthdays or missing bedtimes, they’d be honest about mommy and daddy having to work hard for everything they have and yet they couldn’t seem to stop themselves, because the luxury of giving their son and now their daughter everything they’d never had brought more happiness to Jo and Alex then maybe their children would ever understand. There could never be a single second their children doubted how loved and wanted they truly were, so it didn’t matter if their daughter would be in with them for the first few months, her room had to be finished before she arrived.

Their daughter...he smiles at the mere thought of her, their daughter, who likes to kick when their reading Robins bedtime stories, or plays the guitar on Jo’s rib cage until Alex sings along softly with her in the early hours of the morning, their daughter who’d refused to make herself seen for the first two scans.

It’s only when Alex finishes the last coat of soft daffodil that he hears the faint ringing of his phone above the radio. Shuffling down the ladder he wipes the back of his hand on his shirt as he hears the familiar ringtone sound again making Alex frown as he manages to navigate his way through the maze of boxes he's built around himself.

There’s a slight twitch in his chest as he begins down the stairs hearing his phone fall quiet only to start up again seconds later. He finds it still plugged in by the coffee machine where he’d left it, glancing at the screen to see he had twelve missed calls and three voicemails.

There's a definite twitch in his chest now as he clicks play on Jo's first voicemail, his lips twitching up at the sound of Robin's singing. They sounded like they were still in the car as Jo listed off a few more things she needed him to do.

"Hey, sorry I know you said not to go overboard but there are two more deliveries coming today so make sure to listen out for them and oh oh...if you get a chance to go grocery shopping we need...well we need pretty much everything but get me those cupcakes with the oranges on them and oh erm..." She paused after taking a slightly heavy breath. "I do not feel great today, maybe I can get someone to take over my surgeries. Oh and don’t forget to get the box of baby clothes down from the attic will you...okay... I love you, Alex, I’ll call you later."

He frowned quickly, bypassing the message Meredith had left, assuming it was whatever love triangle tragedy she had that day. He finds Jo's second message. There was no greeting to this one, only Jo's panicked voice.

"Why aren’t you answering the phone Alex? What’s the point of having one if you don’t ever answer it?”

His phone beeped again, signalling another message had been left, this time from Meredith again.

"Alex, where the hell are you? You need to be here now. I don't know if Jo is trying not to worry you but Carina is having her admitted so get over here before I leave work and drag you here myself.”

He felt his heart begin to drop in his chest as he hit replay, trying to piece together what was happening. Before he even knew it his feet were carrying him towards the front door, keys in hand as he rushed out. His entire mind had narrowed in on one simple need: to get to Jo.

He couldn't think of much else as he drove, he doesn’t even remember his route to the hospital he just remembers being at home and then bursting through the doors of Grey Sloan. He was severely out of breath by the time he caught sight of Meredith outside the maternity ward talking quietly with Bailey.

The best thing about Meredith, and what made her excel as a doctor, was that she was damn good in a crisis. So she knew the minute their eyes met that Alex just needed Jo. As soon as he’s within reach she wraps an arm around his shoulder—which felt way too much like condolences for Alex's liking and leads him through the doors where Carina was already waiting. This had to be a mistake. Jo was fine last night. Their daughter was fine last night. He’d felt her kicking as they’d talked. They’d talked about his mom's upcoming visit, and maybe going to see Amber and her family for Christmas or inviting them here.

"—I know. It's awful." Carina mutters her eyes on Jo's chart. The intern beside her nodded in agreement.

"I hope Dr Karev shows up before the ultrasound. She shouldn't have to deal with that alone." The intern responds.

“He’s here,” Carina whispers as she looks up, hearing Alex and Meredith footsteps as she tucks the chart under her arm. “If you can go set up the ultrasound while I talk to him.”

"Of course."

Alex gulps at the sorrow on Carina’s face as she steps closer, it's all too much for him as he averts his gaze down to the floor, his eyes catching on the silver band around his finger, splattered with yellow paint from earlier.

"What's going on?" Alex asks, hearing his voice crack as Meredith drops her hand from his back.

"Alex, you need to take a breath and pull yourself together because right now Jo needs you.”

He doesn't respond to Mer, doesn't even look at her as he raises his gaze back towards Carina, “What’s going on?” He repeats, his voice lower this time.

"Jo's in premature labour. She mentioned a couple of hours ago that she had some pretty bad Braxton Hicks, but then she timed them and they were too close together and too regular. So she paged me, and when I checked her cervix had already begun to open-”

Alex found himself nodding along but Carina’s words soon faded to quiet buzz in his ears. His fingers are already twitching to hold Jo. This couldn’t be happening, not to them. Not now.

"Okay." He whispers his voice dangerously low as he blinks back tears, desperately trying to pull himself together when everything in him was burning. Please don’t do this, please don’t take her from us, please don’t do this to her . He can feel his nails digging into the palm of his hand, the only way he's sure he’s still alive is the dull pain he feels as he takes a deep breath gathering himself slowly. Suddenly his doctor brain kicks in as he begins to ask what they are doing to fix this, listing everything he knew like he wasn’t surrounded by some of the best doctors he knew.

Carina nods, her words still buzzing in Alex’s head as she explains the past couple of hours, Jo’s contractions stopped an hour ago, her cervix hasn't opened any further.

“We’re just waiting to do an ultrasound...it really needs to be done right away.”

“Right...what's the problem then?”

“She’s refusing Alex, won't let anyone near her.”

Alex shakes his head, that's not true. Jo wouldn’t...she would never do anything that could harm their baby. She wouldn’t refuse medical care. He watches as Meredith shoots another look to Carina who sighs, tilting her head in a way that has Alex’s heart dropping into his stomach. “I tried earlier with the stethoscope to find the heartbeat...and was unsuccessful.”

"Alex, do you understand? We couldn't find a heartbeat. Dr DeLuca tried and I did too. Even Jo tried...now she’s refusing the ultrasound, she won’t let anyone touch her."

The childish reaction was quick and automatic. "Maybe you didn’t try hard enough, you didn’t do it right, okay? You know you should check properly.”

Carina took a deep breath. "Alex, I'm sorry. I’m going to do an ultrasound, of course, but…I don't know. It's usually easy to hear it with a stethoscope at twenty-eight weeks. Intrauterine deaths happen and there's not much—"

He felt like he couldn't breathe. His hand was clutching at his chest trying to feel the air filling his lungs but he couldn’t feel a thing as everything went fuzzy again. "Stop. Just shut up. You don’t know Jo. You don’t know our…"

"I'm so, so, s o sorry, Alex," Mer whispered. "I know how much you wanted her."

He felt his eyes burning. "I still want her. And you're wrong because I just felt her kick last night. She was kicking when I sang—she always does that. She does. So she can't be dead."

He chokes on his words. “She’s not...dead.”

There’s a quiet discussion mainly between Carina and Meredith who seems to be answering for Alex as they both guide him towards a door at the end of the corridor:

He has to stand outside the door for a full minute as he tries to get a hold of himself. He doesn’t want his face to show how truly scared he is at this moment.

When he does finally gather himself enough to step into the room he notices how the curtains were pulled, blocking almost all of the sunlight from the otherwise dark room. Jo was curled up onto her side, her entire body tucked protectively around Robin's sleeping frame. She hadn't even lifted her head or made a move to turn when the door shut behind Alex, and that terrified him so deeply that he couldn't even move. It had all suddenly gotten very real.

He walked slowly around the bed so he could see her face, he needed to meet her eyes or he’d never believe any of this was true. But as he rounded the bed he was met with her blank stare, blinking slowly as she took in his form.

"Robin needs to go home. I don't want him to have to see any more of this." She said quietly. She made no move to speak about what was going on. She was emotionless and it terrified him. Suddenly flashbacks of the first time he’d ever seen her look so shut down came to mind. When she’d first met her biological mother. When she’d shut down and left him out in the cold. He wasn’t sure he could survive it back then, he’d needed her so much but now he was certain he’d never survive without her.

Alex turned his focus to his son, who was asleep with his face scrunched up against Jo’s chest, his chubby hands resting on the swell of her stomach.

"I can get Mer to take him home with her." He told Jo quietly, he couldn't find any other words to say, it seemed neither could she.

Jo just nods in response but makes no effort to move. Alex could tell by her hand curling tighter around Robin's back that she wasn’t quite ready to let him go yet.

He’s not sure how much time passes next, as he takes a seat carefully on the edge of the bed. Reaching out gingerly to run his hands softly across Jo's cheek. And it’s in that moment when their eyes meet, his thumb tracing the already dried tear tracks down her face that they break. She lifts her right arm gathering a handful of his shirt tightly pulling him closer, pressing her cheek against his chest so she could hear his steady heartbeat. She doesn't say anything and for a second she’s silent before the sob she must’ve been holding back erupts from her and Alex can feel the tears begin to soak through his T-shirt. He feels powerless, all he can do is keep a steady arm wrapped around his wife holding her tightly to him. That was what hurt him the most about this. He couldn't do anything to take her pain away. He couldn’t fix this.

“Jo…Jo Carina is waiting to do an ultrasound…we need…we need to be sure.” Alex sighs trying to keep his tears at bay as she continues to shake in his arms. “Why won’t you let her help?”

"I didn't want anyone else." She finally admits, loosening her grip enough that he can see her face, her lips trembling as she speaks. The sight alone sends another sharp stab through Alex’s heart. "I didn't want anyone. I wanted you. I wanted—I wanted you to make it better."

Alex nods, wishing with everything in him that he could make any of this better. He lets out a shaky breath as Jo settles back down so her head was resting on his chest, her face pressing into his collarbone. He knows it is selfish, he knows it might kill them both but he can’t help reaching out over Robin's little body and pressing his hand to her stomach. He waits a moment…before pressing again, still waiting to feel the usual response. He hears Jo's breath hitch as she too waits for the little nudge of their daughter's feet, he knows she’s usually responded by now but he waits, he just keeps waiting. He thinks sort of him will always be waiting for that little kick…he thinks this moment might be frozen in time. Not us. This happens to people, but not us. Maybe it wasn’t fair to think like that, after all, every day he sees the worst card parents could ever be handed in life and yet he says the same lines about support groups and doing everything he could and not once did he think he’d ever need to hear those words.

He doesn’t know how long he keeps his hand there just waiting. "I just finished painting the nursery. I went with soft daffodils but if you prefer lemon sherbet we can change it…we can pick whatever colour you want, and I know I said we didn’t need a new crib but if you want that fancy one we’ll-“

“Alex…” Jo interrupts, her hand slowly curling around his own on her bump. He can feel his own lips trembling as the tears he’d fought so hard to keep at bay begin to fall.

"I put glow in the dark stars up.” He whispered. "So she can't be dead."

There’s no logic to what he said. There’s no truth to his reasoning but he believes it. Jo winces at his words or more likely one word in particular. He feels her drag his hand down to where Robin's tiny hands rest, a little reminder of what they still have.

Alex moves closer to them, pulling Robin gently onto his chest, sliding over and opening his arms for Jo. Letting her sink into him. She rests against him like she no longer has the strength to hold herself up.

“I'm sorry. I thought it was nothing more than Braxton Hicks. Can you believe that? I’m a freaking doctor and I couldn’t tell the difference between Braxton hicks and labour. I should have known better. I did this. This is my fault—"

Alex cuts her off, shushing her. "It's not your fault," he assures her. Life was unfair. He knew that. But this pain Jo didn’t deserve. Not his children. Not Robin. Not their new little girl with the stars on her ceiling. Not his family. They hadn't built this together for it to be broken.

"Please don't cry," she pleaded, her voice wavering. "Please don't, it terrifies me. I'm already so scared, Alex. I'm so scared."

Alex just nods, swallowing deeply as he pulls her tighter against his side. It was true that everything had changed once he'd had children. He no longer understood how he had lived without them. And he was realizing that everything he gained could be taken just as easily. He knew that, if this baby really were gone, there would be nothing he could do to ever fix the pain that would settle in Jo's heart or his own for that matter.

He feels Robin begin to stir against him and he forces a smile on his face and kisses his head, smiling genuinely when the little one lifts his arms, reaching out for his father in an instant.

"Daddy” He cheered, his little fists gripping Alex’s T-shirt as he shifted him higher up his chest. He settles his palm on the back of his head and kisses his head again.

"Robin, how would you feel about playing with Ellis, Bailey and Zola tonight?" He asks him carefully.

Robin is as stubborn as his mother. "Scout?" He suggests instead.

"Yeah okay, we can see if Uncle Link will take you. You can play with Scout and then mommy and daddy will see you when you wake up." He knows Robin has no real clue on what’s happening around him but he knew Jo had been right. He didn't need to be here.

Robin lifts his head and peers down at Jo. He seemed to be thinking hard about the proposition before shaking his head fiercely.

"No."

No was his new favourite word and Alex was already sick of hearing it. He strokes his hair back as he meets eyes with Jo. Her tears are still falling steadily. Her hands spread out over her stomach and he knew she was waiting to feel something still.

"No, I want mommy," Robin insists. His little face mustering up what Alex assumed was a scowl as he reached over to wrap his hand around one of Jo's curls hanging loose in front of her face. Alex didn’t have it in him to battle Robin today, it’s not like he wanted to let go of Jo either.

They were out of time to decide what to do about Robin because Carina was already wheeling in the ultrasound. Jo tensed beside him, her hand gripping his tightly as he rose from his place on the bed lifting Robin with him.

"I can't. Please." She whispers and if possible his heart cracked even more.

She was hanging on by a thin thread, but she was hanging onto him. They could survive this…they could survive it together. He lifts Robin higher up his chest, gently cradling Robin's head to his shoulder as the little one's legs wrapped around him.

Alex stared at the swell of Jo’s stomach, the same stomach he'd kissed just last night and singing old country songs much to Jo's amusement. There was no way…there was no way she was…he’d just finished her room…the paint was still wet. Her name is written in stars above her crib. She can’t be.

Alex didn't even realize he was crying until Carina flashes him a sympathetic smile. Robin lifts his head as he squirms in his fathers’ tight grip, peering up at him with a frown. Reaching out to touch his cheeks with his small hands.

"Daddy sad?” He whispers curiously. Alex was torn because there’s no way of explaining this to their toddler and he doesn't want to scare him. Instead, he settles for pressing him back against his chest, his little face squeezed against his neck because while he didn’t want him to watch he also couldn’t bear to let him go.

He watches as Carina helps Jo to sit up. It was too much to watch, the way her whole body shakes as her cries shook through her. He reached for her hand, laying limp by her side, his hand covering hers as he threaded their fingers together. She squeezes his hand back, gripping onto him like he was the only thing stopping her from coming undone. Her hand in his gave him a spark of hope that maybe no matter what happened next they’d make it together, as long they just kept holding on.

He almost dropped Robin in paralyzing relief when the familiar whooshing of the heartbeat filled the room. He lets out a cry of relief as he shakes his head. Alex presses his face back into Robin's hair and squeezes Jo's hand tightly, his heart still pounding away.

"Why wasn't she moving?" Jo asks, her voice hoarse. "I tried everything and she wouldn't move. And why couldn't you find it before?"

"Babies don't move much if at all during labour," Carina explained. "And I don't know. I listened for such a long time.” Once again Alex’s mind blocks out the surrounding noise until it’s a quiet buzz. Instead, he focuses on the image of their baby girl on the screen, the feel of Robin's hot breath against his neck and Jo's hand still clutching his tightly. His family. He’s had these images ever since they’d decided to try for a second…maybe even longer, before Robin, before he and Jo had even got married he’d had this whole dream…Jo, their kids and the house they’d live in and the life they’d live. “But you'll have to be on strict bed rest for the rest of this pregnancy, and even then there's no way to know how long you can prolong labour. If we can keep her from being born for at least a month she’ll be in a much better position."

He comes back down to reality when he feels Jo tug at his hand, she’s looking up at him expectantly. “There’s our girl,” He whispers, leaning closer, pressing a quiet kiss to her hair, not even glancing at Carina as she backs out of the room to give them a moment.

"What if I have to give birth soon?" She mumbled into his shirt. "What if we lose her anyway?"

He shook his head firmly. "We won't.”

He kisses her forehead and glances down at Robin before turning back to Jo. She was looking at him with that look. The one that communicated very clearly that she trusted him with everything in her.

Alex set his hands on her stomach and let out another relieved breath.

"God." He said quietly. She set her hand over his and caressed the back of his hand with her thumb.

Jo's expression twists with guilt. "I’m so sorry...this is all my fault. I've been overworking myself. I always think I can do so much more than I can and our girl is suffering because of it. Maybe I'm not fit to be a mother."

Alex shook his head. "If you're not fit to be a mother, Jo, no one is. Hell, you know what an unfit parent looks like and you are not one."

She opens her mouth to say something else, but abruptly she stops, her eyes widening slightly in surprise. Her expression goes from shock to joy in no time at all as she grabs his hands gently and moves them back to her stomach, pressing down lightly. Alex feels a familiar, returning nudge, gentle and soft, but definitely there. He laughs giddily and locks eyes with Jo, pleased when she laughs in return. He moves around the bed, leaning over Jo so he could press a kiss to the spot he'd last felt the nudge. He keeps his cheek pressed against her soft skin for a moment, whispering a quiet ‘I love you.’ before looking back at Jo’s teary gaze.

"Robin, come here. Come feel your sister." He tells the toddler. Alex tugs him up into his lap and helps guide his hand to the spot he'd just kissed. He applies slight pressure and laughs at the joyous giggle Robin gives when he feels the baby move underneath his hand.

"That's your little sister."

Robin looked up at her father and smiled but the tiny movements didn’t keep his attention for long as he began to climb out of Alex’s grip, into Jo's welcoming arms.

“It’s gonna be okay Jo. We’re gonna be okay.”

Jo looks up at him. Tears still trailing down her face but the sparkle missing from her gaze earlier was slowly making its way back.

He smiles gently, reaching out to cup her face in his hands, rubbing his thumbs softly over the wet trails her tears left. "Everything’s gonna be okay.” He promised. "You'll see."

And she did. A little over two months later their baby girl made her entrance into the world, a little less dramatic than her brother as she’d been monitored so closely, that it was no surprise when she decided to join everyone. With her brown eyes sparkling with the same warmth as her mother’s and a full head of hair she was every little bit perfect as Alex had imagined. A little taste of heaven.

“Hey, baby…welcome home.” Alex grinned as he pulled open the door to the nursery, ushering in Robin who proudly displayed the teddy he’d chosen for his baby sister as Jo slowly made her way inside. She’d been too afraid to step inside since the incident, she claimed it would jinx it.

“Oh wow…” She hummed happily looking down at the bundle in her arms, who as predicted was still asleep and had no understanding of the magnitude of the moment happening around her. “Aren’t you a lucky girl P?”

“Mommy… I see…you sit.” Robin yelps, pulling Jo from the bottom of her cardigan towards the new rocking chair set up in the corner. Jo is all too happy to take a seat, allowing Robin to catch sight of his baby sister.

“It’s perfect Alex…Thank you.” Jo mumbles after a minute, catching Alex’s eye who had taken the moment to settle against the door frame and just watch his family.

He smiles softly, before pushing up off the frame heading towards the window. “You haven’t seen the best bit.” He pulls the blinds down slowly, letting darkness take over the room leaving only the glowing stars for light.

Robin gasped as he looked around in wonder but Jo's eyes remained trained on Alex. “I love you.” She whispers.

“I love you.” Alex grins, kneeling down beside the chair as he runs his hand across their daughter's head. “I love you all…now look up.”

Tilting her head, Jo looked up at the ceiling and gasped. The stars trailed up the wall and right above the crib, they clustered together, spelling out their dear daughter's name.

Peyton.

-

Yes. This is a day late. But it's also very on-brand for me so.

This one-shot is part of the What Could've Been universe so if you haven't read them I would thoroughly recommend reading them, you find them all under my master post on Tumblr.

Also, I made all the medical crap up, so don't come for me with corrections...I don't care.

[aclosetfan]

Hug Prompts: 9. the hug that feels like home

Characters: Professor, PPGs

word count: 2466

Summary: there's nothing like a hug from a loved one to really tell you you're finally home!

a/n: Not a request, just one I wanted to do. I promised I'd have something up by the end of the week, and I didn't want to make myself a liar. lol it's a pretty mundane drabble, but maybe some of you understand the feelings I'm trying to convey here. Or maybe I'm just tired and projecting.

John Utonium—Professor John Utonium—had dark purple bags under his eyes. The longer he stared himself down in the mirror, the larger the bags got. Finally, with a grimace, he slapped his hands to his face, patting his cheeks until the color started to flood back into them.

"You're getting old, John." He told the crow's feet wrinkling his eyes and the laugh lines around his mouth before reemphasizing, "Old."

Had there ever been a time when he had been young? Eons ago, maybe. Now, it felt he was forty-five going on ninety. And the lack of sleep wasn't helping. He bent down over the sink and splashed water up onto his face—it was shockingly cold, and he sputtered, blind as he fumbled around for the paper towels. He quickly blotted the ice water off his face and sighed when he noticed the big wet spot on his shirt and tie.

He tried his best to soak the water up with a paper towel but quickly surrendered to the uncomfortable fabric sticking to his chest. It wasn't worth the fuss, he's students already thought of him as a kooky old scientist; what was a little water on his shirt? With that, he rolled his shoulders back, picked up his briefcase, and made his way out of the facility bathroom.

He still had two classes to teach today—a class for the undergraduate freshman (Physics 108) and his graduate seminar class in Biomolecular Mutations. When classes were done for the day, he had a good month or so of backlogged lab reports to grade. If he was lucky, he'd be able to work on his research article that his editor had needed, oh say, about two weeks ago, but it was likely a long shot he'd have the chance.

John let out a big yawn, the effects of the ice water wearing off quickly, as he tried stretching out the troublesome kink in his neck. He could hardly turn his head to the right without the pain shooting all the way down his back. A heating pad and some rest in bed would do him wonders, but bedtime seemed continuously postponed no matter how tired he became. There was always something to be done.

Ten or so years ago, he had thought being a new father had been the most tiring thing in the world. Now, he longed for those days. The constant adrenaline that he had needed to keep up with three superpowered little girls would have been very useful right about now, he mused to himself walking into the lecture hall.

"Good afternoon, class," He smiled, making his way to the front as the underclassman began settling down. He glanced at the clock and frowned; it was only just now 11:30 a.m. "Maybe afternoon is a little premature, hm?" He joked, quirking an eyebrow at a young lady, dressed still in her pajama bottoms, "I see some of you just made it out of bed."

The young woman chuckled and gave him a half-hearted shrug, "Well, Professor, we can't all be morning people, can we?"

He smiled back at her—Allison—the one who reminded him of Buttercup, "No, no. I suppose we can't, so let's see if a good healthy dose of science doesn't rejuvenate our spirits, yeah? We'll be covering some exciting stuff today!" He ignored the muffled groans of displeasure as he went about searching for a working dry-erase marker, "I expect you all looked over chapters 14 and 15, correct? Peter—" He nodded towards a young man seated at the back of the class, "—care to walk us through problem 1?"

Peter balked and shot him a sheepish smile, "Uh, um, s—sure."

John's smile dropped, noticing the tale-tall signs of someone who hadn't completed the assignment, and swallowed a sigh; he had a feeling today would be a very long day.

----

When John closed his eye, he saw incorrect math formulas and red pen swirling around the inside of his eyelids. When he opened his eyes, he saw the hours’ worth of traffic he had already been sitting in for the past twenty minutes. No monster was the cause of this traffic—just the usual Townsville rush hour. The car behind him was riding his ass, the car in front of him only knew how to slam on their breaks, and the car to his right was trying to edge their way into John's lane without a blinker.

To make matters worse, the radio kept playing the same three high-pitched pop songs.

John took a deep breath in through his nose and out through his mouth. The kink in his neck was still there—he must have slept on it funny last night—but he had managed to get done with his grading for the night. Of course, he still had plenty left to do, but he figured what he had done would placate his most…impatient students.

He sagged in his seat—tired, old, and homesick—wondering if the girls would be okay taking care of dinner themselves tonight. He had texted them all prior that he would be late. Only Bubbles had responded with a thumbs-up, a heart, and what he assumed was a professor emoji.

Okay, Prof! See you when you get home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Drive Safeeeee <3

He had sent her back a thumbs up and smiled despite himself. He had read online that he was lucky any of them bothered to text him back—teenage girls were much too cool for their nerdy dads—but Bubbles would always be Bubbles.

Stuck in the car and thinking of his three fifteen-year-olds, he pulled out his notebook agenda and scribbled down a reminder to call Blossom's orthodontist. Then, for this upcoming Sunday, he penciled in a family shopping trip. Family outings were the only way he could ever trick Buttercup into going to the mall with him, and she definitely needed a new pair of tennis shoes. Apparently, going to the mall with just your dad was "lame," but he personally thought that the hole forming on the bottom of her gym shoes was lamer.

John missed when Buttercup had been small. She had loved hanging out with him then, just the two of them without her sisters tagging along. But now, she hardly wanted a thing to do with him. John turned the radio down low and fought off another frown. He didn't like moping about his little girls growing up, but life had been simpler when they were younger. Their biggest issues had once been Mojo Jojo and bedtime. Now, every problem was coated in a layer of teenager hormones and drama.

Being a teenager was tough. Being a teenager with superhuman strength was tougher. When his girls slammed their door shut in a fit of rage, the whole foundation of their home suffered. It felt like he had replaced more doors in the past year than he could count.

He tapped the beat playing on the stereo out onto the steering wheel, pondering and daydreaming. He pretended he was young again, and his daughters still enjoyed hanging out with him. Ultimately, wished that time would slow down so he could really savor the precious moments he had left with his girls before they moved on with the rest of their lives. Then, he got lost in the fantasy that grading was nothing but a few minutes of his life, and he had plenty of time to devote to his research.

Behind him, the ass-riding driver laid on their car horn, and it snapped John straight out of his reverie. He shot straight up and then cringed as pain radiated from his neck down to his back. Ignoring the pain the best he could, he snapped his head around, looking for the potential danger they were in—the cause of why the driver behind him was laying on their horn.

John wanted to scream when he finally figured out the culprit was himself. The car in front of him had moved a measly two feet without him noticing, and the driver behind him was having a fit about it.

----

It took John a long time—too long—to get home that night, and he felt the entire day weighing on his shoulder. When he was finally able to push himself out of the car, his legs all but dragged behind him as he made his way to the front door.

He was fiddling with his house keys when he realized he had forgotten to check the mail and turned his head almost glacially around to glare at the offending object before shuffling his way down the lawn. The only mail they had received was a lousy coupon and four lousier bills. With a sigh, he lugged his way back up to his front door, fished around his pockets for his keys, retrieved his keys, dropped his keys, stooped down to grab his keys, set off his neck pain, dropped the keys and the mail in that fit of pain, and was near tears when he was able to organize himself again to actually open the door.

It had been a very, very, long day. It had started early and ended late—the sun was gone now, nearing 6:30 p.m. He had dinner to start, and then, maybe, after everything was cleaned up and he had argued with the girls to do their homework and go to bed, he would be able to work on his research in the lab. That was all he wanted to do—get lost in the beautiful biochemical engineering world he had structured for himself just below the ground he stood on, and it seemed the whole world was actively trying to deny him that today.

He entered the house with a heavy sigh, expecting a dark living room and muffled arguments upstairs, but instead, his nose was immediately assaulted by a delightful array of spices and herbs.

"Move it, brace-face!" Buttercup huffed, her voice coming from the kitchen, and John listened as Blossom scoffed in offense.

"Oh, real mature, Butterfingers! You're in my—Bubbles! That's too much cheese!"

"Just the way the Professor likes it!" Bubbles chimed in and then went back to humming to the music John assumed was coming from her phone.

"I told you, he doesn't like vegetable pizza," Buttercup argued, "he likes meat lovers!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Uh-huh!"

"Girls?" He called out, setting his satchel down and tossing the bills on the side table next to the door before making his way towards the kitchen, "Girls? What's going on in there?"

He was hoping they weren't making a mess, but he knew better than that.

"Professor!" Came three close-to-identical gasps.

Before John could make it to the kitchen, let alone blink, three flashes of light—pink, green, and blue—appeared before him.

"Professor! You said you'd be home late," Blossom gasped; at the same time, Bubbles squeaked, "Don't come in the kitchen yet! You'll ruin the surprise," while Buttercup yelled, "The microwave was like that when I got there!"

He blinked at them, taking in the pizza sauce splattered on their clothes and faces, and the stray cheese dust sprinkled in their hair, and tilted his head, "Surprise?" Then he narrowed his eyes, looking directly at Buttercup, "Microwave?"

"It was Blossom!" Buttercup blurted out, "She wouldn't get out of my way!"

Blossom gaped and sputtered, "No!"

"We were making pizzas!" Bubbles cried, then slapped her hands over her mouth.

"Bubbles!" Her sisters chided simultaneously.

"You weren't supposed to tell him—"

"—great going loud mouth, you ruined the surprise!"

"I couldn't take the secrecy! It was tearing us all apart!" Bubbles argued back, hands tugging at her hair.

"It was pizza!" Buttercup stomped, crossing her arms, "Not a murder!"

"It might as well have been!" Bubbles threw her arms in the air and then spun back towards him, "We wanted to do something special for you! And we had that pizza bread! We didn't think it'd be so messy! But then I wanted vegetable pizza, and Buttercup wanted pepperoni—"

"—and sausage and bacon! I made a meat-lovers, which is totally your favorite, right?" Buttercup interjected, shoving Bubbles to the side. Before he could answer her, Blossom hip-checked her away, taking his full attention.

"I did not have anything to do with the microwave! That was all Buttercup!"

Buttercup yanked Blossom back, "She was distracting me, being a know-it-all again, Professor!"

"I am not a know-it-all!"

"Professor," Bubbles wiggled her way between her arguing sisters with wide and teary puppy dog eyes, "your favorite pizza isn't actually meat lovers, is it? It's extra cheesy vegetable pizza, right?"

John watched the three of them for a second before breaking out into a broad smile, "You three were cooking me dinner tonight?"

The three girls stopped their bickering and shot him three identical smiles.

"Of course, Professor, we know how busy you've been," Blossom explained.

Buttercup nodded, "And we kind of figured it was our turn to make dinner anyway."

"So, we wanted to surprise you with some homemade pizzas!" Bubbles nodded eagerly.

"And not any of that frozen stuff." Buttercup continued, "You know, homemade—well, as homemade as you can get, we used canned sauce and stuff, but it's the thought that counts, right?"

Blossom smiled at him sheepishly, "Admittedly, though, we aren't very good at it, and we thought we'd have more time to get it all ready for you and clean-up."

He chuckled, wiping a glob of pizza sauce off of Bubbles' cheek with his thumb, "Aw girls, that's very sweet of you. I really appreciate that."

Bubbles beamed up at him, "You're welcome!"

"After the long day I had, it’s still a wonderful surprise!" He hummed, opening his arms up for a hug. Bubbles jumped into his arms first, followed by Blossom, who dragged Buttercup along into the middle of it by the wrist.

The four of them squeezed together, ignoring the way Buttercup bemoaned the situation. John didn't take her reaction to heart; he knew the arms around his waist didn't belong to either Bubbles or Blossom. He stood there contently holding onto his little girls, the stress of his long day seemingly melting away.

Finally, John was home.

----

EXTRA:

There was a beep from the oven, and the girls perked up, breaking away from the hug.

"That was the oven," Blossom ushered them into the messy kitchen, "we can put the pizzas in now!"

"Say girls, any of those pizzas have anchovies?" He followed after them, "That's my favorite!"

"Professor! No!" Bubbles squeaked in protest, her cheeks going green, as Blossom stuck out her tongue in disgust, "Gross!"

"So lame!" Buttercup groaned, hiding her face in her hands.

[mrvdocks]

Nightcall P.2

Summary: Kurt is obsessive over a model and kidnaps her, taking her along for the ride of the night. P.2

You feel the tiredness behind your eyes when they flutter open, your chest rises and falls slowly as you take in your surroundings. You were home. It was close to six now, but some light still came in through your shades and illuminated your living room sunset orange. 

You sit up in confusion, was the whole Spree a dream? More like a nightmare. 

Your head is killing you, almost as if there’s a jackhammer in your skull. 

You rub at your eyes tiredly, standing up too quick and needing to balance yourself on the arm of the couch you were just laying on. 

The apartment’s empty, save for some background noise coming from your laptop. 

That’s odd, you didn’t remember leaving your laptop on.

Your vision blurs for a moment but sharpens on the image in front of you. The chat in the live stream is going nuts with all sorts of comments ranging from “when are we going to see some gory shit?” to “bring back Bobby!” 

That’s when you realize the person on the live stream is you. 

The comments change to asking you if all of this is real and if Kurt is coming back. 

Your eyes widen as you read his name. 

That’s when you hear him. 

“Oh good, you’re awake. I was starting to get scared that I used too much of the stuff.” 

You don’t know how much tensing your body can take. You put the screen down, meeting a smiling Kurt who’s dressed in Bobby’s clothes. You know it’s his because of the sponsors you helped him get. 

You grab at the nearest thing on the table, brandishing a leftover metal fork at him. 

It merely amuses him as he puts your hand down with ease and takes the fork away. 

“Come on, did you really think I was going to hurt you? You, of all people? I have no reason to do that.”

“You’ve done worse for less,” you shudder, glancing behind you to find a way out. 

“You’re not in any danger with me. You’re safe, okay?” He takes small steps towards you, hands out in a gesture to relax you.

It doesn’t work, it only makes you more nervous. For every step he takes forward, you take one back.

“I bet you’re hungry.” He says, disappearing into your kitchen. 

You take this chance to run into your room, remembering there was a landline you never paid attention to there. Maybe you could get out of this still.

Much to your dismay, the line’s been cut by Kurt anyway. 

“I didn’t want us to be interrupted.” He says, bringing in his concoction of food. 

You don’t have the strength in you to fight and your stomach grumbles at the sight of the food. He holds it out in front of you, waiting. 

You stare at it, trying to figure out if anything’s wrong with it.

“I didn’t poison it or anything if that’s what you’re worried about.” 

When you don’t believe him, he takes a bite out of the sandwich and scarfs it down immediately. Nothing happens.

You take it from him slowly and bite at it before completely devouring it whole. 

“Good. You’re going to need energy for later.” He leaves you alone to go back into the living room.

You don’t understand what he means until you hear something drag against your floors. He reappears in your bedroom dragging the body of the same man from the earlier Spree. 

You instantly feel sick to your stomach, the food you just ate reaching your throat as you gag at the smell. 

You shudder lowly, feeling your shoulders shake and your chest heave as you clasp your hand over your mouth in an attempt to calm yourself.

The dead body in front of you was very much freaking you the fuck out and you didn’t know whether to scream or to cry about your situation.

Kurt makes quick work of the man’s possessions, pocketing them to probably discard them later. 

“People are just so rude,” He says. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

Kurt killing someone for demeaning you is something you didn’t see coming. Then again, you didn’t really see yourself being kidnapped on the list of things that would happen this week.

“This makes you worse than Bobby. No, worse than anyone.” 

You don’t know where the sudden fuel to comment on his actions came, you were still scared but somehow it came barreling out. 

He stops what he’s doing, looking at you in disappointment. 

He really couldn’t expect you to go along with this, could he?

“Bobby and I are different, you know that. This is different.” 

You didn’t know him. 

“So what? You don’t like how the world treated you so you just do whatever you like? Murder as you please?” 

He doesn’t argue back, he doesn’t need to. You’re right. 

“I’m not just doing this for myself.” He rubs at his temple. 

“Kurt,” you muster enough courage to look him dead straight in the eyes. “Do not do this and say that it’s for me. I won’t hesitate -”

“To leave? Go ahead, you’ve had all this time.” 

He renders you speechless. He was right, you could’ve easily overpowered him with anything in the room. But if he was so infatuated with you the right thing would’ve been to let you go without consequence.

“You said you trusted me.” He murmurs. 

“You ran a fucking light and now you’re a serial killer! It doesn’t apply to both!” 

“I’m - I’m not the bad guy here!” He huffs incredulously, as if everything he did wasn’t affecting him psychologically the way it was you. “If anything, I’m doing the world a favor! These are scum of the earth people!”

He calms down. “They get it.” 

He points presumably to the laptop mere feet away from you both. The sounds of the stream popped up one after the other.

“Really? Because as far as everybody’s concerned, they all think this is some kind of fucked up joke!” 

“Let them believe what they want to believe. They’re finally watching me!” 

It doesn’t matter to him that they’re insulting him in the comments, or that he killed someone he considered a friend. 

“So everyone has an expiration date for you.” You conclude. 

He was only going to use people up. That should’ve been common sense. You don’t understand why that fact made you feel a little dejected. You wish he could revert back to the Kurt you met. 

“Do I have an expiration date?” 

“No.” He assures. “But if this is going to work I need you to be okay with this.” 

“I’m not.” 

Fighting him was futile. You were forced into it. You wanted so desperately to warn these people and get the word out. But that's also what he would've wanted. He wanted you to give him exposure. The officer still thinks you did it all willingly, but the footage was more than enough to help you get off with a few repercussions. 

You wish you could forget the screams of the people in the car, a thousand washes with soap couldn’t get rid of the blood on your hands. Even if some of them really were assholes, shouldn’t they have also had a chance at redemption?

With each spree, Kurt only was egged on by the audience and those that found the livestream later. Many of them called for you to do something equally as horrifying but you couldn’t. Many suggested for him to get rid of you since you were being ‘boring’. He wouldn’t do it. 

And that’s when he set his sights on Jessie. After promptly kidnapping her and trying to convince her to join him to no avail, he takes both of you back to his house. You had enough. You wanted a way out and Jessie was it. You just didn’t know everything would end so bloody. 

There’s an ensuing fight, she strangles Kurt with the phone charger and knocks you back in an attempt to stop it. The back of your head collides with the passenger window harshly, forcing you to screech in pain.

Kurt doesn’t take it well.

She swindles Kurt, taking the gun he kept in the glove compartment and arming herself with it. This wasn’t how you wanted it to go. You just wanted her to scare him enough to turn himself in. 

But the crazed look in her eye suggested that wasn’t happening.

The final battle takes place at his home. Where all his dirty secrets are let out.

“I’ll shoot you both if you don’t move!”

You keep your hands up, shielding Kurt with your body. 

“Jessie please, let’s think about this.”

“And let him get away with all of this? He’s brainwashed you already.” 

“He hasn’t - listen he won’t get away with this. Jessie please, give me the gun.”

She wavers, the barrel pointed directly at you. Your heart is beating so fast you almost think you’ll die from a heart attack before the bullet even reaches you. 

“No! No, this has to end. He’s fucking crazy, can’t you see that??! This was always going to end with one of us dead anyway, and it’s not going to be me.” She points behind you and almost pulls the trigger but is stopped by you lunging at her. 

“No!” You yell.

You tackle her onto the floor, the back of her head bouncing off the leg of the pool table and knocking her unconscious.

You press your index finger against her neck, feeling her pulse. You sigh in relief. 

“Why didn’t you let her do it?” Kurt asks suddenly. 

“She was going to kill you. I don’t know how I’d feel about that.”

Kurt had no problem having these people on his conscience, but you did. Maybe killing him would be good, but him facing justice for what he did would be better. He could atone for all of this. 

“Even after what I did to you?”

You don’t answer and instead prop Jessie against the wall. You were honestly very sorry for it but you were optimistic about the outcome of all of this. 

Kurt bends to your level and takes you into his arms, squeezing you tight. 

“We did it!” He celebrates prematurely, Jesse’s not even dead but it doesn’t matter to him. He thinks you’re on his side, that’s more than enough. 

You smile nervously, his forehead touching yours in what he believes is a tender moment. 

“What are you going to do to her?” You’re afraid of the answer. 

Kurt’s mood shifts immediately, serious now. 

“I have to get rid of her now obviously. If she won’t join us then there’s no point to her.”

His quick response is enough for you to discard all hope that he would walk away from this. You grip the gun in your right hand, sure that he hasn’t seen it. 

“This is going to be great! We’re going to be even bigger than all these assholes. And you can finally be by my side, as it should be.” 

Your blood runs cold. He’s a dead man walking at this point. 

You say fuck it as you abandon all morals. With the free hand you have, you bring it to the nape of his neck and press your lips against his. He’s so distracted by it that he doesn’t feel the front of the gun pressed against his abdomen. 

It’s only when you feel your finger pull back the trigger that the shot startles you both and he opens his eyes to looks at you in shock. 

You unload another shot into him. He crawls away from you and applies pressure onto his wound, howling in pain.

He looks at you again, hurt and confusion clear on his face. He reaches for you, calling for you in between coughing fits and cries of pain.

You empty the last bullet into his shoulder, sending him backward. 

There’s a ringing in your ear that drowns out the sirens in the distance. You don’t know who managed to call them but you’re thankful to end this nightmare. You’re still holding the gun out but it only takes you a second to realize you’re screaming. Absolute guttural and gut-wrenching wailing. 

When they arrive, the paramedics have to sedate you to calm you down. Jessie is taken in the ambulance while an officer tries to get you out of the house while you’re still conscious. Kurt’s body lays limp in a pool of red, his hand still reaching and glazed eyes staring back at you.

It haunts you.

“People like Kurt needed a partner. We believe he was targeting Ms. Adams previously before his attention turned to you. Do you know why that is?”

You lie. “No.”

It’s easy to say you never knew his intentions. They were spur of the moment decisions. Everything was chance. You can't explain yourself or Kurt’s psyche to her, there’s no easy way to do it. 

She sighs. “Listen, whatever good you think you saw in him, whatever ramble about the real world you think you understood - was never there.” 

Her words should make you feel better, comfort you in the fact that you developing some sort of twisted attachment with your kidnapper wasn’t your fault. You don’t know how to feel, you just feel...empty.

“It doesn’t matter now.” You shrug. 

“You said Kurt told you something before he died. What was it?”

You let your heavy eyes close in exhaustion. You don’t remember why you told them that, but it must’ve slipped out in questioning. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t remember.” 

Unsure if she believes you or not but knowing there’s nothing else to keep you here, she dismisses you. You trudge out of the interrogation room and out of the station into the cold. You don’t bother with ordering a ride, it’s been ruined for you. 

Instead you walk it home, feeling yourself go into autopilot. You think you see his face in every driver that passes you.

You’re sure you look catatonic to people but you don’t care. You just want to rest.

As soon as you’re home you slip into the bathroom, turn on the shower until it’s steaming and let everything out. 

In the weeks that follow, you and Jessie are thrown into the stratosphere of fame. While she’s more content with her newfound trajectory and takes advantage of it, you decline every interview and prying noses that ask you to explain your relationship with Kurt. It’s all part of their circle jerk of tragedy, milking the victims for information and glamour. 

Kurt’s regarded as a loser by those who are saner than he was and a god by those on the internet. You’re not entirely surprised.

You think it’s all over when months pass without incident until one day your friends send you a link to something on Reddit, which you don’t think twice about. 

You regret it as soon as you see Kurt’s face in the thumbnail. Someone took all the footage from that night and was going to broadcast it later to show off their own documentary. 

You don’t use social media anymore.

[sintatae]

qn | part two

qn or quaque nocte: an abbreviation that nurses and other healthcare workers use for medications and interventions to occur every night // 3670 words

pairing: taehyung x reader

genre: nurse!reader, business analyst!taehyung, f2l, mild fake dating, neighbours, angst, fluff, breakfast dates and nighttime strolls

summary: …in which you love the night and he loves the day. you’re grumpy, shy, and keep to yourself. while he’s pure joy, fearless and outgoing. you have the makeup to be complete opposites of each other, but it’s in both of your favourite parts of the day, where you realize you’re a lot closer than you thought.

summary | part one | part two 

inspo | masterlist

Buzz. Buzz-buzz. Eyes fluttering open as if angry at the world, you reach under your pillow to find 2 missed calls from Taehyung and 1 (probably drunken) missed call from Bianca. Rubbing your eyes, you look at the clock above your bed to see that is it now 0900 in the morning. On your weekend off.

What in the world?

You open your phone to a flurry of text messages.

Bibi (1): okso ur gonna come out with us again right I miss u come hangout w me u_u [0345]

Jimin (1): So......what happened last night? Also any idea why I’m on the couch with Namjoon lol [0812]

You shake your head laughing at the memories of Bibi’s relentless ploys to get you out of the house and hauling one of Jimin’s listless arms around your shoulders while you dragged him through the backdoor.  

Shooting straight up in bed, you remember what happened the previous night and touch your fingers to your lips as the feeling of Taehyung’s lips against yours lingered.

There was never a considerable amount of time that you thought about Taehyung.  Truthfully, you didn’t spend a whole lot of time thinking about what he meant to you aside from the fact that he was becoming one of your closest friends in a city far from your own. Before you even realized it, he became a part of ‘home’ to you.  Because there was a comfort about Taehyung, almost like the feeling of sinking into your most comfortable pillow after a long day or night.  Almost like sitting next to a warm fire on the beach during summer, if you got too close, he shined brightly enough to make you forget your worries. He was chicken soup for the soul. Perhaps it had been the reason you suckered him into this position in the first place. Taehyung was comfort.

Perhaps, it was all starting to make sense to you, despite how oblivious you had been. The way that he always met you on your way home or made sure that you had something to eat. Always inviting you to come hang out with him and the boys or even the way he constantly teased you about sleeping all day, when being a hermit was all you wanted to do. You didn’t even realize how easily he could convince you to hang out, which was a feat that no unknowing person could do.

Taehyung felt the same way too. At first you were just the cute girl next door who didn’t know anyone apart from one friend named Grace from nursing school who made the move to the city years ago.  Something about you drew him in, whether it was your loud, bright laugh or the fact that you always got frazzled whenever someone paid more than enough attention to you. You always wanted to make sure everyone was taken care of before you were. It made him want to take care of you, not that you needed it. Despite your stubborn, at times type A personality, you were also oblivious to how magnetic you were. There wasn’t an uncaring bone in your body.  He’s heard how rough you have it at work sometimes, and wanted to make sure that you were taking care of yourself as well. He had no doubt that you were an excellent nurse.

Rubbing your eyes and shaking your head to rid yourself of the ????? panic in your head, you open your messages from Taehyung.

Taehyung (1): Wake up!! [0824]

Taehyung (2): Breakfast time, sleeping beauty! [0856]

Ignoring the rush of nerves in your stomach, you reply.

Y/N: hi [0901]

Y/N: You do know what time it is right [0901]

Ding!

Taehyung: Sure do, it’s 9am. Come outside I made grilled cheese.  And coffee as promised. [0902]

Getting up to brush your teeth, you reply.

Y/N: You made grilled cheese? Or Jimin made grilled cheese? [0902]

Taehyung: I sprinkled the cheese. [0903]

Y/N: A man after my own heart. [0903]

Taehyung: :) [0903]

You open another conversation.

Y/N: Thanks for the grilled cheese. [0905]

Jimin: ;) [0905]

After brushing your teeth and throwing on a large sweater over your sleeping shorts, you slide your feet through your house slippers and begrudgingly make your way downstairs. You smooth down your bedhead and grab a blanket from the couch to wrap around yourself, making your way to your backyard door. You see Taehyung bring out two steaming mugs of coffee as you pull open the door— trying your best to give him cut-eye for waking you up early (but failing miserably when you see the extra-large grey sweater he’s donning).

Hands hidden in sweater paws, he sets down the two mugs and glances up at you, grin stretching from ear to ear.

“Hi,” You say sheepishly, coming closer to where he’s standing near their couch on the patio. “I’m tired.”

Arms outstretched as you go near him, Taehyung engulfs you in a hug that smells very much like Taehyung- fresh linen and something sweet. Why do you even know this?

Suddenly feeling shy, you playfully shove him off and onto the couch. “You woke me up, jerk.”

“If you were actually upset, then why are you out here?” He says smirking, ends of his lips curled upwards. Plopping yourself down onto the couch beside you, you pick up your cup of coffee, eyes looking anywhere but his.

“Where’s everyone?”

“Jimin left early to open up the café since someone called in sick, Namjoon is in the shower and Jungkook is still sleeping.” Taehyung says in between bites of his sandwich. Elephant in the room. Balling up his napkin and pushing your plate towards you, he starts “So...”

“So...?” You speak while taking a bite, still avoiding his eyes. An awkward beat passes between the two of you, as you both eat in silence, occasionally glancing up at the other. The summer sun shining bright behind him and rising by the minute, you squint your eyes at him.

“About last night... I think I might have drank too much.” He says. There’s a slight sinking feeling in your stomach as the words leave his mouth, but either way, you make sure he doesn’t feel too bad for acting out of character.

“Oh, don’t worry about it at all, it happens.” You say, indefinitely avoiding his eyes. “You don’t have to have regrets.”

“Actually I do have regrets,” He says, hand reaching out to place on your forearm.

“No no no, you shouldn’t. Actually it makes more sense this way, and honestly I was the one that made you come out with me—”

Before going off on one of your nervous tangents, your argument is cut short when Taehyung runs his hand down your arm to place your hand in his. Stopping yourself, you furrow your brows at him as he laughs lightly to himself.

“What I meant was,” He stops to push a strand of hair behind your ear. “I only have regrets because I didn’t ask you out first. And because I ruined my own plan by kissing you prematurely.” Hearing him say he had his own plan makes you laugh, but you’re still confused.

“When did you…even start feeling this way about me? I had no clue.” Sitting up to grab your mug, “I always just thought you were looking out for me as a good neighbour. Or because you thought I was a loser, sleeping all day and not doing anything.” He laughs at this.

“Well, that’s partly true.” He says, laughing as he sees you giving him some side-eye. Leaning back to throw an arm around your shoulders, Taehyung says,  “It wasn’t until seeing you every morning on your way home from work and before I left for work myself, that I realized it was what I looked forward to everyday.”

You soften at this, but can’t help to throw in some self-deprecating humour since you’re still reeling from the confession. “You looked forward to seeing this sleep deprived grump coming home from what was probably a rough shift?”

Flashing his wide smile at you again, he says, “Precisely.”

You stop yourself when you almost check your wrist for your pulse, your heart rate must be over 100 at this point because you suddenly feel out of breath and nervous. Opting to just stay quiet, you lean your head against his shoulder.

A few beats of silence pass as both sit in each other’s company.

“Taehyung, why do you sit out here so late after work?” You feel him tense beside you. Sighing, he says.

“Work… has just been kicking my ass lately.” Pulling you closer into his shoulder and staring forward at nothing particular. “I just have a lot of pressure and weight on my shoulders. So I just need to decompress sometimes.”

“Is it the promotion?”

“Ehhh. Among other things,” he says, nervously twirling your hair above your shoulder. “Hey! Does that mean you’ve been spying on me?”

“I can neither confirm nor deny.” Holding your hand up for a high five, you speak, “I’m here for you though.” Laughing, he reaches up to high five you back, locking your fingers between his. Just then you hear the sliding door open. Jungkook.

You make a move to pull apart but Taehyung stops you and says, “He knows,” while shoving some grilled cheese in his mouth.

“Of course I know,” Jungkook says, stealing the other half of Tae’s sandwich. “It was obvious to all of us after you moved in and all Tae could talk about was helping you with your moving boxes because he wanted to be a gOod nEighBour.”

“Jeeze bro, do you need more sleep or something?” Taehyung says beside you, glaring at his roommate.

“Oh another thing, back before we knew you were nocturnal, he’d always wonder when you’d be awake or if you were home. He always took out the trash at night in case he could see you, so we just let him make it his chore.” Jungkook says grinning.

“Alright, alright,” Taehyung says getting up, shoving the younger boy to the door. “That’s enough. There’s more food inside so go.”

Taehyung pushes a backwards Jungkook all the way until he’s inside the kitchen and pulls it closed. Before departing into the house, Jungkook flashes you two finger hearts while smiling.

All you can do is shake your head and smile, mind still reeling at all of these new revelations.

“Last night was fun though, thanks again.” You say, still avoiding his eyes. “You were a good fake boyfriend.”

“Don’t mention it,” The boy says, both of you making eye contact while a beat passes. “Any time you need me, I’m here.” And he was.

Two weeks go by and despite his confessions, you both fall back into your usual routine. Nothing needed to change, except maybe some flirting and a few stolen kisses here and there. Your schedules made it hard to see each other, especially when you were working but you could always find time to meet whether it was in the early morning sun or late at night in the moonlight. There didn’t need to be labels, you were having fun after all.

There was even one random Thursday night that you may or may not have kept him out longer than intended, not that he cared really.

It was 2330 at night and you were at work after picking up an extra few hours to help with staffing shortages on the unit. You had gotten a ride to work with Esther and completely forgot as you were leaving that you didn’t drive. You texted Taehyung after your shift and after learning your predicament, he called you.

“But Tae, it’s a work night! You don’t have to pick me up.” You nagged on the phone. “It’s late. I was just going to order an Uber.”  

“Exactly, all the more reason to pick you up.” Taehyung said on the phone. “I’ll be there in 2 minutes.”

“Fine,” You relent. “But let me treat you at least.”

2 minutes and not a second later, the lights of Taehyung’s car flash at the entrance of the hospital. Towing your work bag over your shoulder, you meet him, smiles donning both of your faces. As soon as you’re in the car, you smile sheepishly at him and thank him for picking you up.

“Hungry?” You ask.

“It’s 11:30 at night.”

“...And?” You say. Taehyung just shrugs. “Okay, well I still have to thank you in some way for picking me up.”

He smirks at this, eyebrows raising. As you reach over and smack him on his shoulder, Taehyung’s expression softens and he laughs. “Okay, okay just kidding.”

“Let’s get breakfast.”

And so the two of you do exactly that, stopping at the 24-hour breakfast place just down the road from the hospital. A staple on your nightshifts. You weren’t planning on dining in, but the two of you naturally slid into a booth and shared a plate of Nutella pancakes loaded with strawberries. An hour and a half had gone by without you even realizing, both of you debating over if sweet or savoury was superior. (Taehyung insisted it was sweet, but a savoury crepe was top tier.) You started getting sleepy since you weren’t able to get your pre-shift coffee.

After paying for your food, the two of you made your way back to his car. Hands in your sweater, you bumped Taehyung’s hip as he threw an arm over your shoulder.

While in the car, streetlights passing, you try to stifle a yawn into your arm.

“Tired?” Taehyung asks.

“Yeah, aren’t you?” You say, eyes drifting closed. “You have work tomorrow...”

Taehyung can only smile at you as he reaches over and threads his fingers through yours. You take his hand in both of yours as you lean your head against the seat, facing the window so he can’t see the blush that creeps on your face. Yep, no labels.

The next morning, Taehyung was late for work. You wake up to his footsteps in the backyard, trudging down the steps of your deck. Glasses perched at the end of his nose, you can tell from behind that he’s walking with his eyes closed as he waddles to his car. Wearing a maroon t-shirt and black jeans, he throws his shoulder bag into the front seat before driving off.

Well, at least it’s casual Friday.

To be honest, you couldn’t exactly pinpoint how you felt about Taehyung. There were definitely feelings there, but you guessed it was just you being cautious and wary as usual. That, and the fact that you weren’t expecting to fall or feel anything remotely of the sort for anyone while you were here.

This isn’t part of your plan.

The panic alarms go off in your head once in a while, but you’ve started to ignore them.

The clock in the nursing station reads 0645 on a Monday and as you sit down to finish charting on all of your patients, you get a text message.

Taehyung: Quick coffee date after work and before I work? [0645]

Taehyung: Or are you too tired? You’re off tonight right? [0645]

Always the double-texter.

Y/N: Yes, I’m tired and yes I’m off tonight. But yes, coffee. :) [0646]

Taehyung: Can’t wait.

You smile and shove your phone away to finish charting. Bibi sits beside you and scoffs, rolling her eyes. You eventually told her why Taehyung came with you that night, from the plan all the way to your walk with him.

“What is it, Bibi?” You say sighing, not even bothering to look up from your computer.

“Nothing, nothing…” Bibi says, twirling around in her computer chair. “Just that you’re a big liar.”

“About what?!” Still not turning to look at her. “When have I ever been untruthful?”

“Oh nothing, except maybe to yourself.” She says, smirking at you. “You know, even though we work in the cardiac ICU, you seem to listen to every heart except your own.”

“Ha ha. How long were you sitting on that one?”

A call bell goes off and she gets up to answer it, but not before shooting you a wink. Saved by the bell, you get a moment of solitude and don’t dwell too much on what she said.  

You practically run to your car after changing out of your scrubs (and brushing your teeth). Night shift breath is… no joke. Briefly you wonder if you need to touch up your makeup when you see the dark circles under your eyes, but decide against it –Taehyung never cared how you looked after work and you start making your way to the café.

Taehyung’s already sitting in your usual spot on the loveseat, two coffees on the table in front of him. He’s checking something on his laptop while you sit beside him, eventually nudging him in the arm with your elbow when he doesn’t notice you sitting there.

“Hi.” He says, “Sorry sorry, just finishing up this work presentation.” You wave him off, taking a sip of your coffee. “Okay, done. How are you?” He says, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

A soft blush creeps onto your face, and Taehyung grins. “I’m good. I had a fair assignment last night, but they made me charge nurse.” You frown at Taehyung. You didn’t mind being in charge, but you felt like it was the blind leading the blind when you were with your inch of experience. Thankfully you had a good team working last night.

“Aw, I’m sure you did a great job.” He says, an arm thrown around your shoulder. “Besides, we love a strong woman in charge.” He picks up one of your arms, poking at your bicep. “Well, maybe not that strong.”

You shove him back onto the couch, laughing while Taehyung’s hand comes up to smooth out the crease in his dress shirt. “Hey, I have a presentation to do today. I’m already nervous as it is, so be careful with the merchandise.”

“A presentation? With who?”

“Oh you know, the executives. The partners. The works.”

“I’m sure you’re gonna do fine, Mr. Promotion. Just be yourself.” You say, patting his head. “And I’ll be home tonight, we can decompress together. And maybe get some food.”

“I’d love that.”

“Speaking of food, do you want anything? Breakfast of champions to hype you up for your presentation?”

“I’m almost worried to find out what your version of breakfast means.”

“I’ll surprise you.” You say giggling, getting up to order at the counter. You stand and wait for your food—chocolate croissants (for you), a mini breakfast club and a double shot of expresso for Taehyung. Just as you’re about to send a message to Jungkook about working out later, your order is called out.

But as you make your way over to Taehyung, you realize he’s standing and talking to an older man dressed in a suit. You see the way Taehyung is hurriedly packing his laptop into his work bag, and you awkwardly interrupt to hand him his coffee and sub.

“Hello.” The older man says to you. “I’m Mr. Kim.”

“Hi, I’m Y/N.” You say, sheepishly reaching out to shake his hand and glancing at Taehyung sideways.

“Y/N, this is Mr. Kim, CEO of SunnyDaes.” Taehyung says nervously, shoving his hands into his pockets and looking at everything but your eyes. “And also, my dad.”

You were nervous at graduation, nervous about your maid of honour speech at your sister’s wedding, and you almost passed out writing your nursing licensure exam. But in this moment, it truly felt like your stomach dropped out of your ass.  

“Oh. Oh! Hi sir, it’s nice to meet you.” You said, unconsciously bowing before standing up straighter.

“It’s nice to meet you too,” Mr. Kim says, with a smirk on his face. “Nice to meet the girl who’s been making Taehyung late for work every day. Do you have work to get to, as well?”

“No, she actually worked last night, Dad.” Taehyung says.

“Oh, did you now? What do you do for work?” Mr. Kim says again, asking you directly, eying you up and down.

“I’m a nurse.” You say, fidgeting with the sleeves of your top, feeling suddenly self-conscious in your sweats.

“Oh, very nice.” He says giving you a soft smile. He adds, “Did you always want to be a nurse? How long were you in school for?”

“Dad, please.” Taehyung says, eyes closing in defeat. “Please don’t grill her. Besides, she needs to get home to sleep. Right, Y/N?”

“Oh no, it’s fine.” You say. “Yes, I always wanted to be a nurse. And I was in school for four years.”

“Ah! That’s surprising.” Taken back, you wait for him to finish. “I guess some young people actually know what they want to do.” Flashing Taehyung a wink, he pats him on the back. “Let’s go. The executives are looking forward to your presentation.”

You look at Taehyung and mouth a quick “good luck” to him. Though your smile says otherwise, he can see the panic in your eyes. You hated surprises and definitely needed time to mentally prepare for well, anything.

Smoothing out his shirt once again, Taehyung makes his way to the café door, his father following behind.

“Oh, and Y/N?” Mr. Kim says, looking back. You nod and he continues, “Would it be alright to grill you later this evening for dinner?”

His back to you, you see Taehyung freeze.

“Um, yeah- I mean, yes that would be alright Mr. Kim.”

“Excellent.”

As they both leave, you sit carefully on the loveseat, thinking about what had just transpired. Feeling numb to your fingers, you wipe your palms on the fabric of your jeans. Long forgetting the croissants in the brown paper bag, you place them on the coffee table in front of you, appetite non-existent.

You can’t ignore the panic alarms now.

AN: hi hi sorry this was long overdue like a year overdue oops, i wrote it and rewrote it so many times before i realized i just needed to post it!! i’m literally posting this before i have to work tonight sooo sorry to leave it on a cliff hanger, but maybe this will push me to keep going hehehe okay anyway i hope y’all enjoy!! 

chelsea 

[salt-warrior]

RISE FROM THE ASHES

A When Earth Turns to Ashes sequel

Masterlist

Chapter Fourteen: The Consequences of Love

Kai cried out as the warm caress of fire etched it way up his back. For one, there was the pain of it. And for another, there were the memories. The ones of burning to a crisp. The ones that felt like dreams he wasn't supposed to wake up from.

But almost immediately, the flames flickered out, leaving him panicked, but relatively unscathed. He could still feel the heat from where the conflagration had grazed him, but it was more of an agitating sort of pain— one felt after holding one's hands above a fire for too long. There had been no damage done to his person.

Cinder, on the other hand, had an expression that conveyed only her own personal destruction.

She stumbled away from him, hand clasped over her mouth as sobs began to pour out of her. Her back hit the wall and she slid to the floor, staring at Kai all the while, terror carved into her expression and horror engraved upon her soul. Cinder watched him from the floor in the seconds it took for Kai to regain his composure.

He made a move toward her, but she thrust her hands at him in a motion of warding off an attacker and screamed. He froze. She dropped her arms. They stared at one another.

"Cinder," Kai said, his voice low and hesitant. She flinched, dropping her hands to cover her face. "Cinder, please don't freak out. Nothing happened. We're fine. It's fine."

She didn't move. Neither did he.

"Cinder, please."

"You got burned," Cinder whispered.

"No, I didn't."

"You cried out. You screamed."

"I was shocked," Kai said. "I wasn't expecting it. It was only a startled response."

"And I caused it."

"No."

"Yes," Cinder said, eyes full of tears. Her nose twitched and she licked at her lips, as if trying to find words there. Her arms folded tight over her midsection. "I scared you, Kai." She leaned forward, her face turned up toward his. "I scared you. Me. I scared you."

"It's not your fault," Kai said, falling to his knees before her. He didn't touch her, but his face was inches away from her own. "You didn't mean to. It's not you—"

"Stars, Kai," Cinder spat, jerking away from Kai. "I hurt you, I scared you, and you're making excuses for me? Can't you see how unbelievably toxic this has become?"

Kai stared at her, stunned. They had their faults most definitely. Things had been more difficult than usual over the past month between his father dying and this new ghost haunting Cinder. But had their relationship become toxic?

Cinder continued, "You're making excuses for me hurting you, Kai. You're—"

"No, you're taking the blame for something out of your power," Kai said. "You're just scared. Too scared to stick this out."

"Scared to stick this out?" Cinder gasped, her face twisted. "Taking the blame for something that's not my fault? It is my fault, Kai. She's my mother. She's killed two of the people I love. Three, really. She killed you last year, Kai. She killed you." Cinder pulled her knees up to her chest. She looked small. Too small. More like a child waiting out a thunderstorm than a woman haunted by the ghosts of her past.

"We don't even know if it's her."

"But we do!" Cinder exclaimed. "There's no other explanation. The Lemuralia Phantoms can have human power sources. The ghost haunting me uses fire, and she only comes when I'm around."

"And me."

"What?"

"It comes when I'm around, too," Kai said. "Have you ever stopped to consider that it could be me? That Cress was right in her first assumption of a poltergeist?"

"You couldn't," Cinder snarled.

"And how are you supposed to know what I can or cannot do?"

"You just couldn't."

Kai grabbed at his hair, frustration taking over. "Why are you so insistent upon playing the victim?"

"The victim?" Cinder's voice dropped. "If anything, I'm the villain, Kai. The one who's screwed your life over too many times to count. The one that you should be running screaming from."

"But I'm not."

"So what does that make you?" Cinder spat.

Kai froze, cheeks coloring. He didn't know why, but the words stung. Almost as if she had called him something obscene.

She saw the change and shut her eyes tight, fists clenched. She inhaled deeply. He couldn't stop examining her— waiting for the moment that she would bolt. Because she was Cinder, and that's all she knew how to do: run. Run away from her problems, from the things tormenting her, from love. Because they were all frightening, and every ounce of her courage had been spent on existing.

"I can't stay here, Kai. You know that. Though you won't admit it to yourself, it's a relief, letting me go. It will hurt—" Cinder's voice broke, "—but it will be for the best. For both of us."

"No," Kai said, the ferocity of his love and his insistent stubbornness getting the better of him.

"Kai—"

"No," Kai repeated. "Cinder, you don't just get to call it quits here. You don't get to just run away from what's going on until we actually know what's going on. This ghost, or whatever the hell it is, we don't know if it's haunting you. It could be mine. Maybe it's my dad, or—"

"Your dad couldn't be a ghost. He didn't die a violent, unnatural death. You couldn't create a poltergeist either," Cinder cut in. "It's me. I'm the problem."

"Or maybe it's neither of us," Kai finished, shooting a glare at Cinder. "Maybe there's something else going on here and you're acting prematurely."

"You're acting like I'm going to go throw myself off a building."

"Maybe because you're acting like you just might."

Cinder huffed, then abruptly got to her feet. She began to pace the apartment, periodically bringing her hands up to her face or grumbling to herself. Then she turned to Kai, pointing down into his face. "Me wanting to get away from you does not equate to me wanting to end my life. It's just... distance might be the only thing that will keep whatever this is away."

"But if you leave, we may never discover what's haunting you," Kai argued. "And then you'd live the rest of your life on the run. Is that what you want?"

Cinder groaned. She put her hands at the base of her neck and pulled down, as if she could drag herself down to the very depths of hell. "We're running in circles here, and you can't seem to understand that there's a problem here that's bigger than our relationship."

"Nothing is bigger than the two of us."

"Your life is."

Kai sank to the floor. There was a terrible ache pulsing within him, as if his sadness had its own heartbeat. Or perhaps it was his heart, tapping out his misery, not wanting him to miss the horrible feeling it was to feel love slipping from one's fingers.

He knew that Cinder was right— of course she was. No relationship was worth one's mortality. But if that was so, then why did he care so little for his own life and so much for his love of Cinder? For her, he would die a thousand deaths, light up in flames a million times, take his final breath by her side every moment of his existence. Because she was all he cared for.

She was the girl he had saved— the one who had saved him in return. Because that's what they did— they saved one another. Only this time, it seemed that their only means of safety was separation.

"I don't know how to live without you," Kai whispered. He leaned his head back against the wall, unashamed as tears trickled from his eyes. "I don't know how to do it, Cinder. First my mother, then my father. Now... you. I can't do it."

"I know," Cinder said, crouching down beside him this time. She planted her hands on either side of his face. "It's not easy for me either, you know."

"Then why are you doing it?" Kai practically sobbed. He stared up into her eyes with earnest, the pulse of aching throbbing through his very soul. "Why are you leaving?"

"Because I love you."

"Is that why you leave everyone? Because that's the only way you know how to love?"

Cinder smiled bitterly. "No," she sighed. "I'm leaving because I know what happens if I don't. I understand the consequences of my love."

Kai searched her eyes for any regret, but found none. It didn't make it any easier to let her go. Because while she did not appear regretful, there was mourning in her gaze. There was sadness, and a sort of loneliness that only the abandoned could feel. It hurt her to leave him, just as it tore him apart to be left behind, but she would not regret it.

"What will I do?" Kai asked. "What am I supposed to do? I can't just move on."

"I know," Cinder said. "But you have to. At least try."

"Just give it more time," Kai pleaded, though he knew it was pointless. He wasn't going to give up on her without a fight, but he could feel the effort of trying to keep her from catching up with him. They'd been fighting this battle for far too long, and she was by far the more experienced warrior. "It hasn't hurt me. Really."

Cinder laughed, though there was no humor to it. "Kai, the back of your shirt is nearly gone. That's not escaping unscathed."

"I'm not hurt," Kai hissed. "Please."

Cinder dropped her hands from his face and stood abruptly. Her face twitched, presumably with the effort of trying not to cry, though no tears escaped. She simply stared at him, her face blotchy and her expression beyond destroyed. She was a woman who had given her all and found nothing left, no semblance of herself, not even a ghost.

Without hesitation, Cinder walked away from him and into their bedroom. He heard her moving swiftly, packing items she would need for wherever she went. It was dark outside, but he knew it wouldn't deter her from leaving. Nothing could stop Cinder.

Mere minutes later, she walked out of the room with her backpack slung over her shoulder. A lump rose in Kai's throat, and suddenly, it hit him. She was leaving him. Not just going to work, but leaving. Abandoning him perhaps forever. And he couldn't bear the idea.

He moved to stand in front of the door, like a pathetic child begging their parents to stay. Because he would fight for her until his heart stopped beating and his soul ceased to be.

"Kai," Cinder said, approaching him with her hands up. "You have to let me go."

"I can't."

A burst of light flared up between the two of them, causing Cinder's eyes to appear more gold than brown, as if she were a being not known to mankind. The flames made her look they way she had the first time Kai had laid eyes on her: like the Angel of Hell.

Kai fell to the ground, unable to quench the fear that burned within him at the sight of the flames. He stared at them in all their glory, watching the unnaturalness of them— the way they floated in the air, fed by nothing.

And when they vanished, Kai was alone.

Tags: @shellyseashell @cinderswrench @healing-winston-pratt @just2bubbly @silverstars21 @gingerale2017 @greasicookies  @the-wee-woo-rita @zephyr-thedragon @bookpapaya @cindersassasin @the-jewel-of-ketterdam

[edendaphne]

“Discordant Sonata” Chapter 16

New chapter of "Discordant Sonata"! (Feat. adorable art by @corgi-likes-chat​!) Here’s a cropped preview:

>>Read it here on Ao3<< >>Read it here on Wattpad<<

-------------------

CHAPTER 16: LEGATO

Legato: “tied together”; indicates that musical notes are to be connected, so they are played (or sung) smoothly

(Mood Music: Mamma Mia (Swing version) - Opa Tsupa)

[One month later]

“Alright, I’m gonna take the side door and rush upstairs to steal the elven artifact. You got these guys?”

Chat rubbed his hands together, then picked up his controller, adjusting his grip. “Oh baby, I'm itching to try out this new greatsword.”

Marinette nudged him with her elbow. “Don’t aggro too many mobs. Space ‘em out.”

“Did you forget I can stun?" he poked her back.

"No, but you often do,” she quipped. “One sec, buff refresh."

"Ouch, my masculinity! Too bad your regen got nerfed with the last patch.”

"I’ll manage; I bought some extra potions.” She shrugged. “Remember not to blow your rage too early this time. We don't want to pull out prematurely!"

Chat gave her an incredulous look, as if she’d grown a second head.

Marinette winked at him. "I've just seen how you handle that greatsword of yours."

Chat howled with laughter. “Double dagger spec? More like double entendre spec!” He squeezed her shoulder. "You've come so far.”

“Oh, I’ve still got a few tricks up my sleeve,” she replied.

He sniffled and dramatically wiped away a fake tear. “I'm so proud of you."

Marinette giggled and settled herself into a comfortable position, crossing her legs on the floor. Her fingers gripped her controller tightly in anticipation. “Alright, Minou. It’s go time.”

---

Several tense minutes of yelling and frantic button-mashing later, Chat wailed in agony as he plopped backwards, “NOOOO!!! We were so close!!”

Marinette turned around, frowning. “Dude! Why’d you have to go off on your own into that side corridor?! You should’ve known it would be full of stealth enemies!”

Chat’s arms flapped around as he sputtered incredulously. “Y’know what?? We shouldn’t even be here! You’re the one who wanted to two-man a four-person dungeon!”

“We would’ve succeeded if only you’d stuck to the plan, Mr. Curious Cat!”

Chat paused to shoot her a petulant glare. “Well, I guess that means you won’t be needing this epic leather armor you’ve totally been looking for all week, that I just happened to loot from said forbidden corridor! I bet it’ll fetch a high price at the auction house!”

Marinette let out an offended gasp. “You wouldn’t dare!”

“Wouldn’t I?”

“Give it!!” she yelped as she reached across for his controller.

“Nuh-uh! Nope, too late! You should’ve been nicer to me when you had the chance!” He clambered away, but she chased after him.

“Get back here!” she cried, catching him by the waist.

Chat continued to taunt her, holding the controller up high. “Gee, I wonder what kind of trinket I could buy with all the gold I get for this,” he remarked, tapping his finger against his chin.

Marinette grabbed one of the throw pillows from the chaise and thwacked it against him.

“I’m gonna tell Ladybug about your evil deeds!” she threatened.

Chat grabbed another pillow with his free arm and swatted her back with a laugh. “She won’t believe you! I’m her beloved partner, after all!”

“Wanna bet?”

Before he could reply, Marinette tackled him to the ground, grabbing at his belt to hold him in place. She reached for the controller, but his arm was still too long. She adjusted her grip at his side to reposition herself.

Chat squirmed at her touch and yelped, “ACK!! That tickles!”

Marinette’s eyes widened and she looked up at him, a devilish smirk slowly slithering across her face. She crawled on top of him, securing her legs on either side of his hips. And with that, her fingers went to work, mercilessly tickling his ribs and obliques.

Chat screeched and wiggled, desperately trying to scoot away from but failing every time.

“Surrender!” she commanded, continuing her onslaught.

He answered rebelliously between cackles, “Never! But I may scream.”

He thrashed and tried to squirm away, but she had him right where she wanted him. Chat laughed so hard that his eyes began to water, and he begged for mercy in between belly laughs.

Finally sensing her opening, Marinette got ahold of the controller, yanking it away from his lowered arm.

“AHA!” she cried, lifting her arm triumphantly.

Chat’s eyes grew wide and his mouth twisted into an indignant pout, then he used his enhanced strength to lift his hips off the ground, reversing their position so she was the one being pinned.

Marinette gasped in horror and outrage. “CHEATER!! You’re using your super strength!”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, I’m always this strong,” he quipped back, flexing his arm dramatically. He adjusted his position on top and tried plucking the controller away from her.

Despite being a bit disoriented now that she was on the bottom, Marinette maintained a death grip on the controller.

Chat grabbed her wrists and pinned them over her head and she grunted as she struggled. “Oh, how the tables have turned,” he purred as he trapped them both under a single hand. His other hand trailed down to her waist, poking experimentally, then extending his claws from his fingertips to amplify the sensation.

Marinette writhed and wriggled under his touch, shrieking and giggling uncontrollably.

“Do you yield?” he demanded impishly as he stared down at her flushed face a mere few inches away.

“NEVER!!” she replied tenaciously, defiantly puffing out her chest, as if straightening out her posture would somehow intimidate him, or grant her extra resilience.

“You are soooooo stubborn, Ma Minette,” he chided playfully, squeezing her sides hard and making her squeal some more. Marinette twisted and kicked vigorously, trying to escape, but to no avail.

Their antics were interrupted by a descending musical chime and agonized screams erupting from the laptop screen, which was propped on top of Marinette’s antique chest for easier viewing. The pair stopped, their heads whipping towards the source of the sound.

Their respawned characters had died while they were occupied with their tickle fight.

The pair looked back at each other, then busted into hysterical guffaws.

As they laughed and panted, Chat couldn’t help but notice the way Marinette looked with her long dark hair fanned out on the ground, her tiny freckles more prominent against her reddened cheeks. She really had become quite a stunning young woman after all these years. Despite spending their teenage years together, his attention had always been elsewhere, and he’d never really paid attention to how different she looked now, versus when they first met.

She seemed to notice him staring and smiled, and the rosiness of her cheeks seemed to intensify. Probably from the exertion, he figured. And yet, he couldn’t help but feel his own face beginning to feel hot under her gaze.

She looked like she was about to say something, but as she opened her mouth, a new sound blasted across the room; it was Marinette’s mobile phone.

He felt her twitch underneath him, and for the first time, they both realized the position they’d put themselves in. Anyone who walked in on them at this moment would surely have... questions.

Face feeling red hot at this point, Chat released Marinette’s wrists and got off of her so she could get up and check her phone. Giving him one last cheeky smirk, she stood up to see what the commotion was all about.

She gasped as she checked the screen. “Oh my goodness! I’d totally forgotten, I have a study group in fifteen minutes! I have to get ready!” She turned off the alarm and pocketed her phone, then scrambled to her desk to get her school materials prepped.

Chat’s ears twitched in response. “Oh! It totally slipped my mind as well. Good thing you set a calendar alarm. Otherwise, your classmates would’ve walked in to Chat Noir just casually playing video games at your house.”

Marinette darted to her full-length mirror to look herself over, then dashed over to her vanity to grab her hairbrush.

“Do I look alright?” she asked as she fixed her hair.

“My darling, you look positively radiant,” Chat replied theatrically, taking a seat on the chaise.

“Is my outfit okay?” she continued harriedly. “Should I change? Is my shirt wrinkled? Do these shorts make me look short? Is my hair sticking up in the back?”

Chat grinned at how flustered she was. “Helen of Troy would pale next to your indescribable magnificence, Mademoiselle.”

“Chat,” she jokingly reprimanded, but failed at containing an upwards twitch of her lips.

He shrugged feebly. “You look totally fine. But why? It’s just your classmates.”

Marinette hesitated. “Well… Just… no reason!”

She received a skeptical eyebrow in reply. He knew her better than that (not that she was very good at hiding her feelings in the first place). Giving up any further pretense, her posture drooped in response.

“Alright, alright, the truth,” she conceded with a resigned sigh.

Chat leaned forward imperceptibly, raising his eyebrows in silent query.

“My old crush is gonna be there–”

Chat gasped loudly despite himself.

“–And I wanna look nice!” she continued. “But not like, sizzling ‘I’m tryin’ to steal you from your girlfriend’ kinda hot, ya know? I’m just trying to get past him. I wanna move on. I wanna prove to myself that I’m doing okay. He's still one of my best friends. I need to show that I'm happy for him.” Then she added with a weak smile, “Plus, Alya knows what my wrestle-hair looks like, so I'd have to answer some awkward questions if I don’t look at least somewhat put together.”

Chat closed his mouth, which he hadn’t realized was in “fish gape” mode until just then. He looked down towards the floor, now understanding why she would feel so apprehensive.

Marinette was doing her best. He felt his heart swell with affection and sympathy. He had to help somehow; he always tried to be a source of extra confidence whenever she needed to face challenges. It was the least he could do for her.

Chat stood up, cleared his throat and approached her desk, swishing his tail back and forth as he pondered her words.

“I know exactly what you need,” he offered with an air of authority.

Marinette quirked an eyebrow. “You do?”

He retrieved something from her vanity and, with a flourish, he presented a tube of shiny pink lip gloss. “Ta-da! For the ‘I still look cuter than everyone in the room without even trying’ look.”

Marinette accepted the tube of lip gloss, and she couldn’t help but giggle at his sweetness and sincerity. “Sounds good to me! Thanks!” As she looked into the mirror and applied the lip gloss, she continued, “Sorry to kick you out of the house. Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

Chat waved it off. “Of course, don’t worry! I have somewhere I need to be this afternoon anyway, so take your time.”

“Alright. I’ll text you when we’re done, but it shouldn’t take longer than a couple of hours.”

“Okey dokey!” He stood behind her and gave her a quick parting squeeze, then walked over to the floor hatch to exit her room, giving her one last wave. “Later, Maribug!”

Marinette smiled after him as he descended the stairs, amused as always at his unintentionally accurate nickname. If only she could tell him.

Someday, she told herself. Someday there will be no more secrets.

She dearly hoped that that day could come soon.

-----

(Mood Music: You Don't See Me - Safetysuit)

A short while later, Nino and Alya arrived together at the Dupain-Cheng residence. At the door, Marinette greeted them with a smile and invited them inside.

From across the street, a certain tall, blonde, bespectacled figure peeked from behind a tree, deciding to wait a few minutes before making his own entrance.

“It looks like your girlfriend was able to tame her Wrestlemania hair after all,” Plagg whispered from inside Adrien’s pocket.

Adrien poked him gently with his finger. “Hush, she’s not my girlfriend,” he admonished.

“Oh that’s right, I forgot,” Plagg replied. “You already have a secret girlfriend, according to everyone’s favorite international celebrity, Lila Rossi.”

He rolled his eyes. “Ladybug’s not my girlfriend either,” he corrected him again.

Plagg poked him back. “And how did you know I meant Ladybug?”

“W-well, I-I just…” Adrien stammered, his body growing hot in spite of the crisp autumn weather. “It was implied. Anyway, we’re not in a relationship.”

“Not yet, you mean?” Plagg inquired with a quirked brow.

“Plagg! That’s not– I mean… not that I’d mind –AUGH, wait! That’s not what I meant to say!!” he whisper-shrieked as an even more intense wave of heat traveled down his torso. “Let’s just go. I can’t spend a bunch of time trying to figure out what kind of relationship we have, or we’ll be late.”

“You could always ask her tonight during patrol,” Plagg suggested with an eyebrow waggle. “Unless your mouths find something more ‘fun’ to do instead.”

Adrien let out a choked whine, covering his face with his hands. Instead of answering, he scurried down the sidewalk, trying his hardest to ignore the muffled cackles emerging from his clothes.

He rang the doorbell and waited. A few moments passed and the door opened to reveal Alya, who greeted him with a smile.

“Hey, buddy! Glad you could make it! Come on in!”

She led him upstairs to the family room, where everyone’s study materials and textbooks were already spread out onto the dining table.

“Hi, Adrien!” Marinette called from the kitchen area as they walked past. “Make yourself comfortable, I’m just getting us some refreshments.”

Adrien greeted her back, making sure to compliment how pretty she looked today (to which she replied with a small “EEP!!” and a flustered, stuttered, “Thank you”) then he walked over to join Nino.

“Dude! Long time no see!” he said excitedly, standing up to welcome him and give him a tight hug.

Adrien chuckled as he squeezed back. “I know, right? It’s been almost twenty-four hours! I was starting to go through best bro withdrawals!” He set his backpack down and began laying out his own notes and textbooks.

A few minutes passed as they chatted and got situated, but Adrien couldn’t quite focus on the conversation. He was too busy casting (apparently not so furtive) glances towards the door, curiously awaiting whoever else would be attending their study group.

Sensing his restlessness, Nino asked, “Hey bro, you looking for something?”

Adrien shrugged. “Oh, I was just wondering–”

A loud clatter of pots and pans interrupted their conversation, punctuated by a loud “EEEEEK!!”, and the group’s heads whipped towards the kitchen in alarm.

“Marinette?” Alya asked, a worried crinkle appearing between her eyebrows.

“I’m okay!!” Marinette cried from within. “Just bumped into something and uhhh, knocked over some other stuff, no biggie!” she explained sheepishly.

Adrien turned back towards Nino and Alya. “I’ll go help,” he reassured them with a smile.

He walked towards the kitchen, watching Marinette as she put away the kitchenware she’d accidentally knocked out of a cabinet.

He rounded the corner of the bar countertop and called out cheerfully, “Heya!”

Marinette whirled around in surprise with a sharp yelp, accidentally stepping backwards onto a stray metal platter. Adrien watched as if in slow motion as Marinette fell backwards towards the hard tile floor.

“Mari!!”

Adrien reflexively darted forward and managed to catch her just in the nick of time, her body nearly parallel to the floor. He pulled her up gingerly, his arms firmly wrapped around her waist and back, their chests barely touching. They stared at each other as they panted, their breaths mingling together.

Marinette blinked, her cheeks a deep crimson, and she let out a small, nervous laugh. “Nice catch,” she said, almost as a whisper.

Adrien let out a deep, relieved sigh. “I got lucky. Sorry I startled you.”

“No, it’s okay,” she said as he pulled her closer and helped her stand up. “I really should pay better attention to my surroundings,” she continued, rubbing her arm with a rueful expression on her face.

“You’re just trying to do too much all at once, that’s all. Let me help,” he replied. “I can reach all the high shelves!” he offered, flexing his arms theatrically, trying to add some silliness into the awkwardness.

She blinked, then let out a small giggle, cheeks still red. “A-alright,” she replied. “Uh… Why don’t you pour some water into these glasses while I finish cleaning this up?”

“Sure!” he chirped happily.

Marinette smiled and resumed her task of cleaning up the fallen pots and pans. Adrien opened the refrigerator to fetch the water pitcher, then began to fill the glasses.

As he did so, he noticed there were only four glasses on the countertop. Odd. They’d need an extra one for Marinette’s (former) love, wouldn’t they? Were they coming alone or would there be extra people? His chest tingled with curiosity as he wondered who it could be.

Turning back towards him, Marinette said, “By the way, the water pitcher’s inside the refri— oh nevermind, you already found it.”

Adrien chuckled nervously, continuing to pour. He cleared his throat and changed the subject. “So how many glasses do we need?”

Marinette looked back at him with a perplexed look. “It’s just the four of us today, as usual. Unless you invited someone else?”

“Uhh, no, I didn’t. I just thought…”

He trailed off and froze.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Marinette had said–

...but if no one else was coming, then that meant...

No.

No way.

Was Marinette in love with Nino?? He’d had a small crush on her ages ago, but he and Alya had been together for years now. Marinette would never try to wedge herself between them, not in a million years!

Her crush couldn't be Alya either, right? Marinette had mentioned that her crush was male.

But… But that meant–

“Adrien, the water!” Marinette cried, her voice jolting him back from his thoughts.

Horrified, he realized he was still pouring water into the already-filled glass, spilling it all over the countertop.

He gasped as he realized his mistake, and set the pitcher down. “Shoot! I’m sorry, Marinette! I'll clean it up!”

He turned around to open a drawer across the way, bringing out a couple of kitchen towels to soak up the liquid.

“I kinda zoned out,” he continued, wiping up the mess. “I’m really sorry, it looks like I’m only doing more harm than good in here.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. But, um...” Her face scrunched up in confusion, “How did you know that’s where we kept the towels?”

Adrien’s eyes grew large. Oops. Why was he so full of blunders today??

“Uhh, I’ve just… I’ve seen you open that drawer before. O-on a different day,” he deflected with a shrug, obviously unable to divulge the true reason he knew his way around the Dupin-Cheng kitchen.

Marinette let out a short hmm . “Yeah, that makes sense. You must have a great memory!” She smiled with a blush and added, “Although that shouldn’t surprise me; I’ve always known you're really smart.”

Adrien forced himself to smile at the compliment, yet a cold chill ran down his spine.

“Not as smart as I should’ve been,” he muttered, speaking about more than just spilled water.

He should have noticed. He should have known. He should have realized sooner that the sadness in her eyes was because of him.

Marinette patted his arm, which tingled under her touch. “No worries, it’s just water. No harm done!” she said sweetly, her kind smile growing even wider.

But I hurt you , he thought to himself. Their conversation from that day rushed back to the forefront of his mind. An indirect and cruel rejection before she ever even got the chance to confess.

He thought back to all the times they’d hung out together as civilians since that fateful day when she came home in tears after school. She’d never treated Adrien any differently after he unknowingly broke her heart. Was she that amazing an actress, or was she just that strong?

Marinette finished putting the drinks and snacks onto a serving tray and bid him to follow her to the living area, where Nino and Alya were eagerly waiting. But how would he be able to concentrate on studying after knowing he’d been the focus of Marinette’s unrequited affections?

No, not affections. She’d used the word “love”. She was actively trying to fall out of love with him.

He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Nevertheless, that nagging feeling stayed with him for the remainder of the study session. -------

(Mood Music: Que reste-t-il de nos amours? - Avalon Jazz Band)

[Later that day]

Marinette squinted suspiciously.

Chat had been acting weird. Or rather, weird for him, which was saying something. He’d been in a somber mood ever since he came back that afternoon after her study session. What had happened during that brief time while they’d been separated?

Speaking of which, she recalled that poor Adrien had been acting out of sorts as well. She’d asked him if everything was alright, but his face went red and he waved it off, saying it was nothing, claiming that he was just a little tired. She hasn’t pressed the issue, especially knowing that he had a difficult home life and busy schedule. She dearly hoped he’d come to her if he ever needed someone to talk to.

In any case, she’d been surprised to find Chat just as morose and out of sorts. She’d asked him what was wrong and he instantly dismissed it. Then he promptly excused himself to his bedroom, which was unusual. Normally he was chatty as can be during dinnertime, then he would hang out with the rest of the family during the evenings, playing videogames or board games, or engaging in conversation over some tea.

But tonight, he’d hardly spoken a word. He had only answered briefly when spoken to, and it was like he could barely look her in the eye. And whenever he did, she could’ve sworn she saw something like… guilt?

She wasn’t sure. But she knew she didn’t like it.

Something was wrong. She was sure of it. Perhaps he wasn’t able to share what it was exactly due to his secret identity, but she was determined to help him fix it. She wanted to know the truth.

Tikki had lightly chastised her, saying that maybe Chat Noir had a good reason why he couldn’t share his problems, and that she shouldn’t pry or be too nosy. But this wasn’t nosiness! They were friends! And not only that; it was her duty as Ladybug to look out for his well-being, right??

Speaking of Ladybug...

They had patrol scheduled for later that night. Should she ask him again, as Ladybug? She pondered it... but no; he’d probably act tough and pretend it was nothing again. They were still working on being more open with each other, but progress was slow. Though not for lack of trying. Chat just… didn’t always know how to relax around Ladybug. He didn’t verbalize it, but it was as if deep down, he was always bracing for imminent rejection. Almost like he expected everything to be a dream, and any day now he’d wake up back at his father’s house, all alone.

Despite being allies, there were still many obstacles that stood in their way, as they both navigated through their partnership trying to find their unique dynamic, still somewhat guarded in their words and actions, to avoid hurting the other. There were invisible walls between them, and every time they’d succeeded in tearing one down, it was only to find that there was another wall behind it.

He’d mentioned before that he would never want to do anything to jeopardize their partnership. So he had a tendency to keep quiet about a lot of things, and not rock the boat, so to speak. He’d mentioned before that he trusted her implicitly. But it was like he didn’t trust himself. Or trust his luck.

He tended to be more open with Marinette, most likely because he didn’t feel that he had to watch what he said as closely for fear of rejection. Thankfully, he’d always been able to confide in her.

That is... until today.

She sighed.

Maybe he just needed an evening where he could be himself and be a normal person, as the guy behind the costume. But how to do that without revealing his identity?

Her eyebrows scrunched deeply as a tiny idea planted itself in her brain, slowly blooming into a full-blown scheme.

“I know that look,” Tikki remarked warily. “You’re up to something, aren’t you, Marinette?”

“Maybe,” Marinette replied with a sly grin. “I think Chat needs to get out of the house and spend a night on the town.” With that, she hopped off her desk chair and walked to the large, antique storage chest in the corner of her room where she kept all her current sewing projects. She rummaged around, searching for something.

“How are you going to do that?” Tikki asked with a concerned furrow of her brow.

“I’ll explain in a minute,” she replied as she found the item she was looking for, then set it down on her chaise.

She then opened her phone’s contacts and dialed Mylene’s father's number.

Tikki peeked over her shoulder. “I’m not sure where you’re going with this, but I hope it helps Chat Noir cheer up,” she remarked.

A few seconds later, there was an answer on the other side of the phone.

“Monsieur Haprèle? It’s Marinette Dupain-Cheng. I have a quick favor to ask, if that’s alright.”

A few moments later, the phone call ended, successfully putting the next part of her plan into motion. Monsieur Haprèle had graciously offered to stop by and drop off the items Marinette had asked for, since he needed to be in that part of town anyway for an errand.

“I think we have everything we need.” She winked at her kwami. “And now, Ladybug needs to make a phone call. Tikki, spots on!”

----

Chat closed his communicator and plopped onto his bed with a groan. Ladybug had cancelled patrol at the last minute, postponing it to the next day. He ran his hands down his face dejectedly. He supposed that was just as well. As excited as he’d been to meet with her tonight, he probably wouldn’t be very good company, since he’d been in such a crummy mood all evening.

Still… he’d really wanted to see her. Her presence always managed to do wonders for his morale.

He settled for pulling up a candid photo he’d taken of her with his staff’s camera on a different day. She was breathtaking; smiling softly while looking into the distance, the sunset a golden halo behind her, making her look like the angel she was. He smiled at the memory, and he felt his stomach fill with butterflies as they always did when he truly looked at her.

He swiped to the photo he’d taken right afterwards, when she realized he was taking a picture, her eyebrows raised in mild surprise. Then the photo after that, where she’d let out a bashful giggle, bringing her hand to her mouth, looking adorably shy. And the last photo from those few precious moments: Ladybug striking a dramatic pose, with an exaggerated pout that would put any supermodel to shame; a reminder of her sense of humor and willingness to be vulnerable and silly around him.

His smile broadened, his heart now thumping loudly in his chest. She really was so extraordinary.

A sudden rap on his bedroom door jolted him out of his daydreaming. He sat up and put his staff away as he answered, “Come in.”

The door opened, revealing a sharply dressed Marinette. He almost didn’t recognize her at first, since she’d changed out of her clothes from earlier and her hair was up in high twin buns.

“Hey Minou! You busy tonight?”

“Uhh, actually, no. Patrol got moved to tomorrow.”

“Then I have a proposition for you,” she said, her voice high and chipper. Without waiting for a reply, she took his hand and practically dragged him up to her bedroom. “But first, I need to give you something.”

They arrived at her room and she let go of his hand, then knelt by a large cardboard box he’d never seen before that was labeled “Backstage”. She unfolded the top, then started bringing out a myriad of fabrics and materials so hastily, that her movements were practically blurred. She took out a large pair of sunglasses that resembled vintage aviator-style goggles, an almost ninja-esque facemask, and set them aside.

She stood, holding something else behind her back, and walked up to him with a shy grin, her legs doing her trademark nervous shuffle.

“First of all, I- uh… I made you something. I started it a little while back and finally finished it today.” She tucked some hair behind her ear as she averted her eyes timidly, her cheeks dusted with a lovely shade of pink. “I hope you like it.”

She revealed the item behind her back, holding it up with both hands. It was a black zip-up hoodie, with muted, subtle detailing as an homage to his Chat Noir suit, but the main feature was the cat ears sewn onto the hood itself.

Chat’s jaw dropped, and his eyes practically bugged out of his head. This was the cutest, most considerate thing he’d ever been gifted.

He was at a loss for words, but thankfully Marinette interrupted, “I made it for you so you could hang out at home without having to be transformed all the time. ‘Cause I know that can be exhausting for Plagg, and it’d probably be more comfortable for you to be dressed in casual, loose-fitting clothes. Also–” she gestured towards the box behind her, “–my friend’s dad, he’s an actor, and he gave me a box full of masks and other costumes. You can mix and match, so you can have fun with it while still protecting your identity.” She extended the hoodie towards him hesitantly. “Uhh… anyway, obviously I didn’t take your measurements because it would’ve ruined the surprise, but it should fit you just fine. Cotton-polyester blend fleece is pretty forgiving like that.”

Chat gingerly accepted the garment, slowly and carefully running his fingers across the soft fabric as he admired the attention to detail his friend had lovingly crafted into a piece of clothing that would hardly ever be seen by anyone else.

He gaped at her, throat feeling quite dry. “Marinette… I don’t know what to say. Just… Thank you. This is such a thoughtful gift. I… wow.” He brought his hand up to his face, still in total disbelief. “I wish there was something I could do to show you how much I appreciate that you’re always looking out for me. There’s gotta be a way for me to thank you. Y-you’re always so… you’re just… I’m...”

Marinette stepped closer to him, their toes almost touching. The sudden proximity got his attention instantly, and she booped his nose with her index finger. “Well then, this is your lucky day. I know just the thing you can do for me.”

“Uhh, sure! A-anything you need, just ask,” he stammered, slightly confused.

She began, “Sooo, here’s what I was thinking…”

She continued to speak as she paced around the room, sort of beating around the bush, the speed of her words steadily increasing until she was talking a million miles a minute, so rapidly that he could barely understand what in the world she was talking about. Although he distinctly heard the words “movie theater”, “chaperone”, and a pleading, “You wouldn’t want me to go all by myself, would you?”

“Uhhh–” he tried to interject, still deep in his confusion.

“And before you turn me down and say, ‘But I, the dark and mysterious Chat Noir, cannot be seen in public with a civilian!’ don’t worry: I got you,” she interrupted.

She handed him the sunglasses and face mask, and said, “Detransform and put these on, along with your hoodie. You can wear these to the movies and be totally incognito!”

Chat let out a high-pitched “WHAT?!” his voice cracking once it couldn’t go any higher.

“No one will recognize you with the costume! It’s really not that conspicuous! Lots of people wear special blue-light blocking glasses when they watch movies or use their computers. And face masks have become a pretty common way to keep germs from spreading, so nobody will spare you a second glance. You’ll totally blend in with the crowd. And it’ll be my treat! Please??”

Chat rubbed the back of his neck, eyes darting around nervously. This was all so sudden and he was unsure how to respond. He’d never done anything like this before.

“I-I dunno…”

Marinette continued, wringing her hands anxiously as she spoke, “I know this is totally out of the blue, but there’s this one movie I really wanna watch that’s only gonna be in theaters for this one weekend. I’d ask Alya and Nino, but it’s pretty last minute. And even if they’re available, they’d probably just make out during the entire movie anyway, and God knows being the awkward third wheel gets tiresome after a while,” she added with an eyeroll. “Adrien always has to be booked months in advance, all my other girlfriends are busy, and I really don’t wanna go alone; it’s not safe to walk around a big city all by yourself at night, y’know. So, what do you say??”

Chat looked back at her, her big blue eyes silently begging him to come along.

He suppressed a sigh, biting his lip instead. She wouldn’t want to hang out with him if she knew who he really was and what he’d done to her. She’d always been absolutely wonderful to him– to both sides of him– and he’d repaid her by being a crappy friend who’d been totally oblivious to her feelings. He truly didn’t deserve her.

He was about to decline and try to make up some excuse, but just then, her words from earlier in the day popped back into his head: “I’m just trying to get past him. I wanna move on.”

He paused. All day, he’d only been thinking about his own feelings and feeling sorry about himself, wallowing in guilt. But right now, this was about Marinette, and her needs. And at this moment, it sounded like what she needed was someone to just be with her. He could set aside his own apprehensiveness and insecurities to help her out, instead of pushing her away. After all, she always went out of her way for her friends constantly, at the cost of herself. She’d always been so selfless… to the point where she tended to neglect her own needs. He couldn’t let her keep doing that.

Determined to make things right and treat her the way she deserved for once, he nodded and smiled. “Alright, Mari. I’d love to go with you.”

Marinette let out a delighted squeal and resumed doing her excited wiggle-dance, but Chat interrupted, “On one condition! It’ll be my treat instead. After all, what good is a paycheck from the best bakery in Paris if I can’t use it to spoil my absolute favorite roommate?” He squeezed her shoulder with a wink.

Her mouth popped open in shock, then twisted into a pout. It looked like she was about to argue, but in the end, decided not to press her luck and accept his terms.

“Deal.”

[riasei]

Softly

pairing: todoroki shouto x fem! reader

warnings: smut, cursing

words count: 4,266

note: Quarantine has me fucked up and this is the only way I can gain any serotonin anymore. This is purely self-indulgent. I have no regrets.

summary: After another encounter with his father gone wrong, Shouto is in need of some comforting.

The sound of doors slamming startles you awake.

With a jolt, you sit up from the couch and blink the sleep away from your bloodshot eyes. A cold hand rests on your exposed shoulder where your t-shirt has draped down, revealing your skin. Immediately, you recognize who it is. With a small smile, you turn your head to see Shouto regarding you with displeasure evident in his eyes.

“Shou?” You question softly, placing your hand atop his, which is still pressing comfortingly into your skin.

The boy quirks his head to the side, frowning. “Why are you still down here? It’s late.” He observes, brows furrowing slightly.

“I wanted to wait for you.” You explain confidently, the corner of your mouth perking up in slight amusement.

“But I told you not to wait for me before I left. I didn’t want you staying up late.” Shouto murmurs.

You slide your hand up from its place and trek it up to his forearm, pulling your boyfriend closer to you. Shouto’s arm twitches slightly at the contact, but he doesn’t retract. “But I wanted to wait for you. It’s worth staying up if I get to see you, Shou.”

Shouto pulls away from you and pulls you off the couch. His grasp is gentle and soothing. His abnormal temperature envelops you with a comforting sense of familiarity. “Let’s just get to bed, Love.” He mumbles, the nickname causing your face to flush a brilliant red.

The two of you reach Shouto’s room, still hand in hand. As soon as the door closes, your boyfriend lets go of your hand -albeit hesitantly- and rakes his digits through his hair, musing the bi-colored strands and disrupting the once-even border between red and white.

Sitting down on the boy’s bed, you peer up at him. “Is something wrong?” You ask, beckoning for him to sit with you.

It takes a moment before Shouto moves. He surprises you slightly when he instead lays down on your lap rather than sit next to you. Your boyfriend closes his eyes and rests his forearm across his forehead. You begin to play with Shouto’s hair, smoothly massaging his scalp while you’re at it. Your boyfriend shivers in response and exhales slightly at the feeling of your fingers.

“I had dinner with my father today.”

You raise your eyebrows in surprise. “Oh,” You respond, watching as Shouto shifts beneath you. “How did that go?”

Shouto removes the arm resting on his face and opens his eyes to look at you. “I don’t know.”

For a moment, you stay silent, continuing to mess with your boyfriend’s hair.

“We didn’t do much talking. I ended up arguing with him before leaving early.” Shouto continues, his eyes now trained on the ceiling. “He didn’t do anything wrong, He’s trying to change. But I just blew up on him…”

You say the first thing that comes to mind. “Well, are you okay?”

Shouto’s eyes shoot back to yours, mild surprise etched on his gorgeous face. However, he is soon to relax, a small smile playing on his chapped lips. “We’ve been together for some time now, and we’ve known each other for even longer, and yet I still find myself surprised when you show such blatant concern for me.”

Sliding your hand from his hair, you cup the boy’s cheek. His breath hitches the tiniest bit, and he leans into your touch. “I love you, Shouto. I will always care and show concern for you.” You respond smoothly, taking your hand away from his form.

The bedsheets rustle under you as Shouto moves from his place on your lap to sit next to you. A soft pink blooms on his cheeks due to your confession.

“Shouto, are you really okay?”

The boy hums softly. “I’m not too sure.” He admits, watching your concerned face through his peripheral vision.

When you don’t respond, your boyfriend continues to speak. “I get that he wants to be better, and a part of me is thankful that he’s trying. But, the other part of me still resents him. He wants us to have a good relationship, but I’m sabotaging it for both of us because I just can’t seem to let go of the past.”

Shouto refuses to look at you. You try calling his name softly, but he doesn’t budge. “You can’t blame yourself for this, Shouto. Your father did so many horrible things to you, some things that you will never be able to heal from completely. You can’t expect yourself to forgive Endeavor in such a short amount of time. Please, love, be patient with yourself.”

Your boyfriend stills at your words, and still makes no move to look at you. “Shou?” You ask after a beat of silence, hoping to gain the boy’s attention.

When he still does not move, you reach out your hand and turn his head towards you. Even though his hair is shadowing most of his face, you manage to see Shouto’s heterochromatic eyes watering and filled to the brim with conflicting emotions.

It pains you to no end to see the person you love in such a state. He’s been through an unbelievable amount of heartache, and yet he still can’t seem to catch a break.

Softly, you murmur your boyfriend’s name before leaning in to press a soft kiss against his slightly chapped lips. Shouto’s eyes widen, and he stiffens somewhat. He couldn’t fathom how in the world you would want to kiss him while he was in such a pitiful state.

You pull away long enough just to press down on his stiff shoulders and to whisper to him, “Relax, Shouto.”

He tries his best to calm himself while responding to your soft lips that are so deliciously moving against his own.

“That’s it,” You giggle as your boyfriend finally begins to respond to your ministrations.

The feeling of Shouto’s cold lips moving gently against your own was heavenly. He was a bit timid, but that wasn’t too unusual. It was no secret to you that your boyfriend lacked experience with most forms of intimacy. The first time you two had kissed, Shouto was mortified. He hadn’t the faintest idea what to do, and ended up ending the kiss prematurely.

While you have reassured your lover time and time again that his inexperience was no problem to you, he always seemed to put himself down.

You separate yourself from Shouto and lean your head against his. He exhales shakily, and gingerly lifts a hand to the side of your head, caressing you. “Fuck, I love you so much.” He groans, cursing quietly.

At his admission, you immediately press your lips against Shouto’s once more, fervently moving against him. You nudge against your boyfriend’s closed lips with your tongue, and soon you are exploring his mouth—Shouto tastes of spearmint, which lights a small fire within you.

Shouto’s movements are adorably clumsy as he attempts to copy your actions. As soon as you feel him getting insecure, you wrap a hand around his neck, pulling him closer into you. Shouto groans, your touch feeling like fire against his already burning skin.

You deepen the kiss and use your teeth to bite against his lower lips gently. Your boyfriend moans quietly, and you smirk. As you pull away to breathe, you get a good look at Shouto. His lips are painted a bright crimson, and his whole face is flushed a beautiful pink. The sight makes you groan. He is so effortlessly beautiful.

With a soft nudge, you push Shouto down onto the mattress and climb over him. You give a small peck to his lips before moving down to leave a trail of searing kisses along his jawline. The boy brings up a hand to push his hair back as he watches you ravish him.

To his embarrassment, Shouto was already excited, his arousal prominent through the hero costume he never got the chance to change out of. You can feel him slightly on your thigh, but pay no mind to it as you continue to assault your boyfriend’s porcelain skin.

Moving to his neck, you bite down lightly and lick at his burning hot skin. Never have you done something like this to him, and the jolt of pleasure that flooded Shouto was utterly foreign. “Oh, fuck,” He moans, pressing his head back into the mattress as you continue to leave marks along his neck.

Shouto reaches up a trembling hand and rests it along your now-exposed waist. From the angle you were leaning, your shirt had ridden up. His touch only encourages you, and soon you are peering up at him with questioning eyes. “Shouto, can I take this off?” You ask, pulling at the shirt of his hero costume.

Your boyfriend’s eyes widen slightly, and you can see the uncertainty that’s plaguing him. “You don’t have to, Shou.” You reassure him quickly, cupping his cheek. “I just want to make you feel good.” You confess, absentmindedly trailing a finger down his neck and over the bruising marks you had made.

Shouto sits up and looks the first thought that comes to mind is that you’ve gone too far. However, Shouto is quick to quell that worry when he takes off his shirt, revealing his toned body to you. Unconsciously, you groan out loud and begin to reach for him.

However, Shouto doesn’t let you. Instead, he remains seated upright and shifts to where his back is resting against the headboard of his bed. You stay in your position, slightly confused until Shouto grabs you and places you on his lap, straddling him.

The boy dives to your neck, kissing you lightly. He hesitantly opens his mouth to lap at your skin, and he uses his teeth the tiniest amount. Your breath hitches and you reach your hands to bury them into your boyfriend’s hair, pulling him closer to you. “Fuck, Shouto, that’s perfect.” You whimper as he bites into your supple skin. Upon hearing your praise, Shouto snakes his hand around your waist and gathers you in his arms, pulling you as close to him as possible.

He licks a long strip up your neck, sure to go over all of the marks he bit into your skin. Shouto releases his iron grip on you and leans back to see his work. The sight of his marks on your beautiful skin makes his arousal twitch within the confines of his pants. With the position you’re in, you can feel him pressed against your clothed core.

Shouto knows that you can feel him, and hides his face. He found it shameful, how quickly he was getting aroused. Instantly, you could tell what your boyfriend was thinking. Rather than verbally assure him that everything’s okay, you opt to show him physically.

Slowly, take your hands from his hair and trail them down his muscled chest. You had seen him bare-chested quite often, considering Shouto often ended up burning the top of his hero costume when he used the left side of his quirk. However, despite seeing his body regularly, you had never had the chance to explore it quite like this.

With hunger in your eyes, you lean down to press kisses to his exposed chest. Shouto’s eyes flutter shut, and you pay close attention to his reactions. Whenever you find a spot he seems to particularly like, you make sure to pay it close attention. The soft pants and groans that leave his perfect lips are music to your ears, and they only add to the desire beginning to coat your thighs.

By the time you approach his belly button, Shouto’s thighs are trembling underneath you. As you near his pants, you reach to finger the hem. Shouto stiffens as he feels you messing with his pants. He looks down to see you staring up at him, silently asking for permission. Shyly, the boy lifts his hips up to allow you to remove the rest of his clothing.

With one smooth gesture, both Shouto’s pants and underwear are disregarded on the ground. Your boyfriend’s length slaps his lower stomach as it is finally released from its confines, the tip a prominent red and coated with precum.

You curse at the sight, and swiftly take him in your hand. Shouto immediately whimpers at the feeling of you grasping him. He finds himself unconsciously bucking into your hand, desperately seeking any sort of friction. You moan at the sight of your boyfriend. He looks absolutely perfect.

You drink in the sight of him. His entire body is flushed, covered in a thin sheen of sweat, and his upper body is marked with dozens of love bites. You can tell that he’s trying to control himself in your hand, but every so often, he’ll give a small thrust accompanied by a strangled breath.

Teasingly, you drag your hand up his length and pump him painfully slow. He throbs against you, and you are quick to notice that he is practically drenched in his own arousal. “Shouto, you are so fucking perfect,” You worship, leaning down to take him into your mouth.

“Wait,” He pants, gaining your attention. “You, you don’t have to do that.” He cries, unable to keep his voice steady as you continue pumping his length at a teasing speed, every so often swiping your thumb across his tip.

You smile deviously at your lover before shaking your head. “Trust me, Shouto, I want nothing more than to do this for you.”

You give your boyfriend no time to respond before you lick a long strip up the underside of his cock, right over a prominent vein. Shouto’s eyes nearly roll into the back of his head, the new sensation of your tongue overwhelming.

For a few moments, you continue giving small kitten licks to erection, languidly stroking him at the same time. You haven’t even taken him into your mouth yet, and your boyfriend already looks absolutely fucked. His cries of pleasure are intoxicating, and only fuel your desire for him.

Glancing up as you continue to rub Shouto, you meet his hungry eyes. You smirk at him, maintain eye contact as you finally take his member into your mouth. Your boyfriend whines and grips the bedsheets at his side, desperately trying to control himself.

Lightly, you suck on your boyfriend, hollowing out your cheeks. You use your hand to pump whatever you can’t take. With every bob of your head, you drag your tongue on the underside of Shouto’s cock, swirling it around the tip whenever possible.

Loud grunts and curses stream out of the boy under you as he relishes the feeling of your mouth. When you take your hold off of him and envelop his whole length in his mouth, Shouto nearly sobs in pleasure. He takes a hand that was clenching his bed and rakes it through your hair. Unconsciously, Shouto thrusts his hips into your mouth as you deepthroat him.

You groan at the feeling of your boyfriend fucking your mouth, and take a hand to stroke his balls while you eagerly continue to suck him off.

Shouto continues to thrust gently into your mouth, his actions somewhat clumsy and lacking rhythm. When you hollow out your cheeks as much as you can, Shouto tugs at your hair and emits the most sinful moan you have ever heard.

Encouraged by his reactions, you continue even faster, desperate to get a taste of your boyfriend. Shouto pulses inside of your mouth and his thrusts become sloppier.

You continue to caress his balls while assaulting the underside of his cock with your tongue. With a loud cry, Shouto aggressively grabs at your hair and pushes your mouth down to the base of his cock. You gag slightly and swallow around him, which ends up ruining him.

Growling, Shouto empties himself into your mouth. Thick silky ropes of come grace your tongue, the taste of salt apparent. When you swallow your boyfriend’s load with him still around you, he groans, before pulling you off of him and releasing his hand from your hair.

You lean back, and Shouto stares at you through half-lidded eyes. Once he comes off of his high, do his eyes widen in slight horror. He pants your name in worry. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I, I didn’t mean to do that. I’m so fucking sorry. Did I hurt you?”

You furrow your brows at him before realizing what he was referring to. He had thrust your mouth down onto his cock, forcing you to take all of him while he was mixed in the throes of his pleasure.

Before Shouto can worry anymore, you climb up and straddle him, pressing a searing kiss to his lips. Shouto groans, tasting himself off you. When you separate, and a thin string of saliva connects your lips.

“Shouto, I fucking loved that. You did so well. Don’t you dare feel sorry.” You demand, looking at him through hazed eyes.

Your boyfriend moans at your praise and quickly attacks your collarbone, harshly biting down. When he resurfaces, he’s toying with the hem of your shirt. You nod at him and lift your arms to make removing it an easier process.

Once your shirt is thrown to the floor, you unclasp your bra and sit back to shimmy out of your pants and underwear. When all of your clothing is successfully removed, you return to your place on Shouto’s lap. His cock is once again hard, pressing deliciously against your unclothed core.

Shouto tilts his head back to get a good look at your bare form, and he marvels at your beauty. You start to become self-conscious when Shouto continues to stare, and move to cover yourself. However, before you can, Shouto is leaving hot, open-mouthed kisses along the swell of one of your breasts, kneading the other in his right hand. He murmurs sweet nothings into your skin as he ravishes your body.

Shouto takes a nipple in his mouth, experimentally swirling his tongue around the delicate bud. When he hears your soft whimpers and muffled moans, your boyfriend grazes you slightly with his teeth. At the feeling, you arch your back, leaning into his touch.

Your boyfriend releases your breast with a ‘pop’ and switches to do the same to the other. In your boyfriend’s grasp, you are reduced to a mumbling wreck. When Shouto finally removes himself from your chest, he leans up to kiss you lovingly.

As your lips are interlocked, Shouto moves his hands around your body, exploring. Soon, his fingers are caressing your inner thighs, trailing dangerously close to your throbbing sex. Shouto groans as he feels your thighs coated in slick.

Hesitantly, the boy drags a finger up your folds, and you immediately grind down onto him with a breathy pant. Shouto becomes bolder, and continues to stroke you, coating your wetness around your heat. When he comes into contact with your clit, the boy notices how your eyes seem to roll back into your head, and he continues to circle it, applying an incredible pressure.

Your wanton moans fill Shouto’s bedroom, and they only become louder when he slips a teasing finger inside of you. He curls it inside of you, using his thumb to stroke your clit. The feeling is so overwhelming you can’t help but bury your face in the crook of your boyfriend’s neck.

Heat begins to coil in your stomach, and you can feel yourself teetering so close on the edge of your orgasm. Desperately, you whine out to your lover, “Please, Shouto, I want to come around you, please.”

Shouto retracts his fingers, and you groan at the loss. However, the sensation of Shouto stroking his thick cock along your folds is enough to make you lose your mind all over again. Before he enters you, your boyfriend looks at you, eyes filled with adoration and love. “Are you sure you want this?” He asks.

You nod your head, pressing your forehead against his. “Yes, Shouto. I need this.”

Slowly, Shouto guides himself to you, and you sink down onto his cock. The feeling of his member stretching you out stings slightly, and once he’s seated fully within you, you have to pause a few moments before moving. As you wait to get used to the feeling of being so stretched out, Shouto rubs soothing circles on your hips and thighs, kissing your body tenderly.

After several moments, you begin to move, riding Shouto’s cock. The stretch of him still brings some pain, but it soon morphs into an indescribable pleasure. Shouto hisses as you roll your hips against his, and he thrusts sloppily to match your pace.

“Shou, ugh, you fill me up so well,” You mutter, reaching to claw at Shouto’s toned forearms, which hold your waist tightly.

Shouto gasps in pure ecstasy as your walls tighten around him as if begging him to release himself inside of you. It was all almost too much for him. The way your tightness clenches around him so good, and how unbelievably warm, and delicious your pussy is.

You continue to ride Shouto, shrieking as the boy reaches a hand down to rub at your sensitive clit. At the same time, he latches his lips onto an unmarked spot on your neck, further adding to your pleasure.

Passionately, you continue to grind down onto your lover, rolling your pelvis against his, and feeling him reach the deepest part of you.

With a squeal, you are forced to stop riding Shouto as he forcefully grabs your hips, preventing your movement. He holds you with bruising force and lifts you up and down on his cock at an inhumane speed. His moans echo off the walls of his rooms, and with whatever sense you have left, you silently pray that no one else in the dorms can hear the two of you.

“Fuck, Shouto, please don’t stop,” You plead, closing your eyes as your boyfriend continues to move your hips on top of him.

Shouto growls at your words and stills your hips. You almost cry at the loss of his pace, but the thought is soon lost as Shouto instead begins to thrust up into you himself, his cock hitting your cervix with every buck of his delicious hips.

Your body nearly turns to jelly as Shouto continues to roughly fuck into you, his brutal pace causing you to collapse into his chest. You plea to your boyfriend mindlessly to please, for the love of God, don’t stop, and he is quick to comply, returning his nimble fingers to your clit.

This time, Shouto uses his right hand to stroke you, and he has your eyes rolling back into your head when he drops the temperature of his hand. His hand feels like ice on your clit, and you readily embrace the incredible sensation.

With every thrust, Shouto was pushing you closer to your climax, and you could feel that he was also approaching his own release. His thrusts have lost any sense of rhythm, and he pants harshly at the feeling of you around him.

Suddenly, Shouto drops the temperature of his fingers circling your clit even further and turns to dig his sharp teeth into your neck, sucking harshly. Just like that, you are pushed off the edge, succumbing to the sweet euphoria of your climax.

Your back arches and your mouth opens in a silent scream as Shouto continues his ruthless pace, chasing his climax while fucking you through your own. You whimper slightly, sensitive, but with one particularly powerful thrust, Shouto stills and releases himself into you with a sinful groan. Thick streams of come spill into your core as Shouto empties himself into you.

The two of you stay still for a few moments before Shouto lifts you off of his member with a low hiss. A dull ache emits from in between your legs, and you can tell tomorrow will be worse. You can only hope that Aizawa doesn’t have anything too rigorous planned for tomorrow’s class.

Shouto takes you in a warm embrace, circling his hands on your back. “I love you so much,” He murmurs into your skin, softly kissing you.

“I love you too, Shouto.” You respond, breathing in the scent of him.

Before long, your boyfriend is peeling himself off of you and returning to you with a wet cloth to clean you up. He is gentle and caring with your form, softly massaging you in the areas he was a bit rough.

“As much as I want to stay here and fall asleep with you, I think it’d be best if we both clean up in the bathrooms. I don’t want you to get an infection, and we’ll rest easier after showering.” Shouto, whispers, gazing at you affectionately.

You nod at his words and begin to rise from the bed, quickly searching for your clothes. “I’ll race you to the showers!” You challenge, frantically trying to gather your things,

Your boyfriends chuckles deeply at you. “I don’t think you’ll be racing anyone anytime soon, considering you can barely even walk right now.”

A furious blush spreads across your cheeks. “Well, it’s your fault!”

Shouto comes up to hug you from behind, his broad chest pressing into your back. “So it seems,” He hums, kissing your temple before leaving to gather his own clothes.

“Asshole!” You retort, trying to force the evil blush away off your face.

“You know you love me.”

You don’t even hesitate before responding. “Yeah, I love you.”

[starshine583]

Crossing a Line

(SUPER late to do this, but I finally decided to name the fic lol anyay, here’s part 16 of Le Paon! Sorry it’s a day late, but I hope you all enjoy!)

Part 1 / Part 15 / Part 17

Le Paon landed on a chimney top and frantically searched the city streets. The akuma was probably being formed at that very minute. He needed to find Marinette and get her off the streets before the battle started. If something happened to her because he was floundering around for some pieces of jewelry-

“PEOPLE OF PARIS!”

Le Paon jerked in the direction of the booming voice, where a woman stood in the middle of the street. Or, at least, he assumed it was a woman. The person’s figure was too covered in a dripping, green slime to really tell.

“YOU ALL WANTED A MONSTER.” They bellowed. Yes, that shrieking was definitely on the feminine side. “I GAVE YOU ONE, PUT MY HEART AND SOUL INTO IT, BUT DID YOU ALL THANK ME? NO! YOU TOLD ME IT NEEDED TO BE SCARIER, MORE REALISTIC!”

The green slime ball aimed her arms towards the sky. “HOW’S THIS FOR REALISTIC?!”

The akuma thrust her arms forward, causing slime to shoot off in random directions. The slime covered the building and the cars, sticking to them like glue. A few people tried to escape, but within seconds, the akuma had them pinned to the cement with her goo. So far, struggle appeared to be futile.

Le Paon started looking faster.

He passed over the alleyways of the entire street, then jumped to a few other streets and searched through those too. Panicked citizens were running and screaming everywhere, but Marinette was nowhere to be found. Where could she have gone? Why couldn’t he see her? What if she’d gotten hit already, and he missed it?

In a newfound panic of his own, Le Paon rushed back to the akuma, only to find Ladybug and Chat Noir fighting it head on.

The heroes were using their weapons to avoid the slime balls, while the akuma kept shooting. Underneath the akuma’s feet, though, slime was slowly seeping off of her body and climbing up the building wall that the heroes were on. A trap.

She looks like she’s got this. Le Paon thought, continuing to look around for Marinette.

It was then he spotted her. Well, not Marinette, but Allegra. She was filming him from behind a slimmed car not too far away. Le Paon ran towards her. The two girls had run off together, so Marinette had to be close by.

Allegra gasped slightly at his sudden approach, but didn’t back up. She merely stared at him with a mix of awe and a slight bit of worry.

“Where’s Ma- uh- your friend?” He asked quickly. There was no time to play games.

Allegra blinked. “You mean Marinette? I don’t know. She said we’d get better coverage if we split up.”

Le Paon let out a frantic laugh. Of course she did. Of course she did.

“Alright, alright, um..” He looked around for a moment, before pushing the camera until it was facing down. “First of all, no pictures. Second, get to safety and tell your friend to do the same.”

Allegra went to reply, but Le Paon spun on his heel and sprinted back towards the fight. He didn’t have any more time to look for Marinette. So he’d have to win- or end -this fight swiftly to make sure she didn’t get hurt. (If she wasn’t already.)

Ladybug threw her yo-yo at the akuma, easily tying them up to stop the blasts. Le Paon used the akuma’s excess sludge to slide forward and grab the yo-yo string. He caught a glimpse of Ladybug’s surprise before he yanked on the yo-yo, causing the hero to fly forward.

Unfortunately, Chat Noir managed to grab her arm in time, but the yo-yo did slip off the akuma when Ladybug lost her balance, so Ladybug’s being saved wasn’t a total loss. 

With the akuma free, Le Paon took off towards another alleway. They needed to surround the heroes, make them sweat. If he could coax their powers out of them prematurely, he might be able to figure out Ladybug’s identity when her time ran out. 

Le Paon jumped back and forth between the alley walls until he was back on the rooftops. Ladybug and Chat Noir were fighting two roofs away. What the heroes didn’t see, however, was the sludge that was ever so quietly creeping onto the rooftop. Le Paon didn’t know how they were missing it, since it was almost covering the front of the building they were standing on.

Pushing that thought aside, He charged forward and spread out his fans. It didn’t matter why they missed the sludge. The point is that they did miss it, and it would be their fatal mistake.

“Incoming!” Chat yelled as Le Paon landed on their rooftop.

Ladybug glanced behind her, briefly catching Le Paon’s gaze. “I see him! Cover me-”

Her orders were cut off with a gasp when the slime finally crawled around their ankles. 

“C-Chat!” She yelped, foolishly trying to pull herself out of it as it continued up her legs.

“I got it!” Chat Noir said, raising his hand in the air. “Cataclysm!” 

Le Paon watched the familiar, dark magic swirl around his brother’s palm. As soon as he thought about stopping the use of the power, though, Chat Noir already had his hand on the slime, and it was disintegrating.

Along with the rest of the roof.

Le Paon stumbled back as the black decay spread across the plastered rooftop. He’d seen Cataclysm a few times in action, but he’d never dared to get so close. His paranoia was proven justified too when the roof caved in on itself, bringing Le Paon with it.

A shocked cry escaped him as he grappled at the air. Debri smacked him from all sides, and his vision clouded with the dust of it. 

When his back hit the top floor, he couldn’t even gasp a second time, as the hit ripped all of the air from his lungs. He did, however, find the time to shield himself with his forearms in the two second span it took for the rest of the debri to fall on top of him.

That’s when the floor caved below him for the second time.

~~~~~~

Ladybug tried not to gag as she dug through the akuma’s slime to grab the akumatized object. She thought that cinema monster was bad, but now she almost missed him.

“There!” Chat Noir spoke up, pointing towards a small object around the akuma’s neck.

Ladybug yanked it off and promptly smashed it to the ground. As expected, an akuma fluttered out of the object.

She used her yo-yo to catch it and stood up with a relieved sigh. “I’m glad that fight’s over. I’m pretty sure I still have some slime left in my ears.”

“I couldn’t agree more, M’Lady.” Chat Noir commented. “Mind using your miraculous cure so I won’t have to take five showers when I get home?”

Ladybug chuckled and threw her Lucky charm into the air. It burst into a million, tiny ladybugs before sweeping over the city- them included -and putting everything back to the way it was.

Chat Noir shuddered. “Oh, finally! That goo was starting to find its way into uncomfortable places.”

Ladybug scrunched up her nose with a laugh. “Ew! Don’t tell me that.” 

Chat Noir gave a shrug. “It’s true.”

Ladybug rolled her eyes playfully. “Anyway, where do you think Le Paon went?” Her eyes swept over the city street they were on. “Usually, he’d come out to fight some more or we’d see him running away.”

Chat looked around as well, but he obviously wasn’t as interested- or worried -as she was. “He probably ran back to his little boss, the coward. As long as he’s out of our way now, I don’t care.”

Ladybug frowned. Chat Noir had always been more firm in his belief that Le Paon was pure evil, not that she could blame him. She’d thought the same thing until he saved her, until she found out he was actually Felix. She wanted to help him give up peacefully, but would Chat Noir allow it? 

“Chat..” She began hesitantly. “Do you think it’s possible to end all of this peacefully?”

Chat furrowed his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“Well, what if Le Paon decides to surrender? What do you think we should do?”

“Le Paon? Surrender?” Chat Noir snorted. “Come on, M’Lady, we both know that’s not going to happen. Le Paon is an incompetent criminal with no remorse. He’s not going to ‘surrender’ until he’s gotten the miraculous or we have him in handcuffs.”

Ladybug held back a grimace. That didn’t sound like a good start to Felix’s redemption.

“But what if he did? What if he decides to stop working for Hawkmoth and turn himself in?” She prompted.

Chat stared at her for a moment, then sighed. “If he really had a change of heart and decided to give up his miraculous, then maybe I could see myself being fine with him. But the fact is, that’s never going to happen Bugaboo.” 

Ladybug’s miraculous took that moment to start beeping.

She touched a hand to her earrings. “Yeah.. maybe..”

Chat Noir offered her a smile and patted her shoulder. “Hey, everything’s gonna be alright. Even if he doesn’t surrender, we’ll catch him.”

Ladybug bit her lip and nodded. What was she going to do if they did catch him? Would she have to convince Chat Noir to let him go? She couldn’t see him letting a terrorist run off without consequences if he didn’t know them.

She threw out her yo-yo, letting it wrap around a nearby chimney. There was no use in worrying about something that might not happen. “I’ll see you later, Chat.”

Chat gave a small wave and pulled out his baton. “Later, Lb.”

The two ran off in opposite directions, Chat Noir in the direction of the school, Ladybug in the direction of Master Fu’s Massage Parlor.

~~~~~~

A gasp tore itself from Le Paon as his eyes snapped open. He jolted upright and gripped his chest, hard. Where was he? Was the battle over? How did he get back onto the rooftops? Le Paon was sure he’d been…

He shook his head. The miraculous cure must have healed him, which meant the battle was over. Ladybug and Chat Noir must have taken out the akuma while he was- ahem -out. 

Le Paon started to scramble to his feet. He had no way of knowing where the heroes were now. They might have left, or they might be searching for him. Neither situation sounded pleasant. 

Just as he was wondering whether he should go home or back to school, Ladybug’s yo-yo strung out across the air, and she sailed forward a second later, her earrings beeping the whole way.

Le Paon’s eyes widened, even more so when he saw Chat Noir using his staff to volt off in the completely opposite direction. This was it. This was his chance. He could finally figure out who Ladybug was.

Le Paon was on his feet and running in moments, his thoughts of what just happened during the battle lost in the back of his mind. If he could figure out Ladybug’s identity, he could take her miraculous and convince Adrien to give up his. The battles and endless fights would be over, their mother would be alive again, and, most importantly, Marinette would be safe. 

It only took a good minute for Ladybug to land in another alleyway, as she was clearly out of time. Le Paon slid up behind a chimney from the rooftop across the street, holding his breath. Any sudden movements and this whole plan would fall apart. He couldn’t let that happen, not when he was so close. 

“Tikki, spots off.” The magic words tumbled from her lips, and Le Paon peeked a bit further around the chimney. His nerves were buzzing with anticipation as the shimmering magic melted off of her body. He’d never thought much about Ladybug’s identity, but now he couldn’t help wondering who it might be. This girl had been spoiling his Father’s plans for months, after all. She must be special somehow. 

The flash of light faded.

Le Paon’s heart stopped.

Though her pigtails had remained, the light replaced Ladybug’s spotted suit with an outfit of pink capris and a white t-shirt under a black, half-sleeved jacket. An outfit that Felix would recognize anywhere.

Oh no.

All hopes of him seeing things was dashed away when a red kwami zipped around the ravenette, chirping, “That was a close one, Marinette!”

Marinette- why Marinette?-chuckled, giving a small nod of agreement. “That it was, but I made it just in time.”

Le Paon hid behind the chimney again as she turned to jog out of the alley. Of all the people in all of Paris in all of the world- it just had to be Marinette. Then again, who else could it be? The cleverness, the strength, the agility- of course it was her. Felix honestly couldn’t imagine anyone else being Ladybug, and that made him sick to his stomach.

They were on opposing sides. Not only was he fighting his little brother, he was also fighting the woman he’d fallen in love with. Gosh, what kind of sick joke was this?

Le Paon sank to the ground, thumping his head against the chimney bricks. Marinette’s pleas to talk with Ladybug made sense now. She wanted him to talk to her as Ladybug, but she couldn’t say that outright without giving her identity away. What would she have said as Ladybug that she couldn’t as Marinette? Their positions were the same either way. Felix needed the miraculous. She wasn’t giving them to him. That was it.

Le Paon blew out a sigh, rubbing his hands over his face. Maybe.. Maybe this wasn’t so bad. If Ladybug was Marinette, he could get the miraculous easily, right? All he had to do was visit her again and take them. It’s certainly something she wouldn’t expect.. He would have the earrings. Then he could talk to Adrien and get the ring. Father would make the wish, Mother would be returned to them, and Felix could give the miraculous back to Marinette in one piece. No harm done..

Except Marinette would be betrayed.

Le Paon finally stood. Doing this might make her hate him forever, but it was necessary. Even if Felix decided to give up and surrender, he couldn’t say that his father would share the sentiment. Then what? Hawkmoth gets a new partner, and Marinette is still in danger, probably more than before? He couldn’t stand that, yet he couldn’t fight her himself anymore either! Getting the miraculous was the only option. It would hurt her, yes, but it was in everyone’s best interest. She would have to find it in herself to forgive him, and if she didn’t.. well.. 

Le Paon started the run home. 

If she didn’t forgive him, at least she’d be hating him in the safety of her home, without the heroic duties that he and Hawkmoth currently gave her.

~~~~~~

Marinette closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath, silencing her thoughts. She needed to focus on healing, on life, on every breath she took that represented both.

“Your connection to your kwami is sacred and rare.” Master Fu explained, sitting across from her. “Many wear the miraculous, but few are completely compatible with them. When one is compatible, though, they are able to unlock unique abilities, with practice.”

“In this case, you are connected to the miraculous of creation. That means you have extended abilities towards life itself. If your powers are nursed properly, you will be able to heal others by restoring life to them, or, in other words, recreating their life force.”

“So.. I can bring people back from the dead?” Marinette asked curiously.

“No.” Fu answered. “Bringing people back from the dead doesn’t work, because there is no original life force to restore or recreate. If you did manage to bring someone back, they wouldn’t be the same.”

Marinette cracked open an eye, worry flickering across her face. “Then what happens to the people that don’t make it during akuma attacks?”

Fu gave a small smile. “Tikki’s powers can bring others back to life, or rather, recreate them properly, under the proper circumstances, such as akuma attacks. Right now, we are talking about your powers.”

“Right, right. Sorry.” Marinette said, closing her eyes again.

Master Fu continued. “Now, to access this bond, you need to concentrate on the connection with your kwami, along with magic that has now been infused with your soul. You need to feel it glowing from within and transfer it to the object you are hoping to recover. Clear your mind of everything but Tikki and try to heal this plant.”

Marinette nodded and inhaled. Healing.. What did that mean? Restoring the health of a living being, she supposed. Fixing things that are broken. But it also meant washing away all of the bad that rotted the thing in the first place. 

Marinette touched a hand to the drooping plant in front of her, focusing on the magic within her, feeling it wash away the corruption in the stems and leaves. 

She didn’t have to open her eyes to know that a soft, pink glow was spreading over the plant, but she opened them anyway to watch the wilting leaves slowly rise and regain their bright green color. 

“I’m doing it!” She exclaimed. “Look, it’s being healed!”

Unfortunately, the excitement at her success caused her to lose her concentration, and the pink glow faded, which in turn left the plant drooping again. 

“Don’t worry.” Master Fu told her as her shoulders dropped with disappointment. “This was an excellent first try. I have no doubt that you’ll get the hang of it with more practice.”

Marinette bit her lip, staring down at the lifeless leaves.

“.. What if.. What if I can’t heal her.” She asked, her fingers tangling together nervously. A human being had to be immensely complicated compared to a small plant. How could she revive Emilie if she could hardly hold up a fern for more than three seconds?

Master Fu put a comforting hand on hers. “You can do it, but even if you can’t, I’m sure Felix will understand.”

Will he though? Marinette couldn’t help thinking. She’s always known Felix as a sensible person, but would he give up his mother for a random person he might not even know? Further more, will he betray Hawkmoth to surrender?

“Let’s try again.” Master Fu spoke up, taking her from her thoughts.

Marinette nodded her head and closed her eyes to clear her mind. No Felix. No Hawkmoth. Only life and healing.

She held out her hand to restart the magical process.

~~~~~~

The familiar clang of metal resonated across the secret garden with each step Felix took. He’d come down here a scarce few times since he accepted the peacock miraculous to help his Father. Most of the time it was to grieve, or to restore his determination to get the miraculous. Today, it was for courage.

Marinette was Ladybug. Adrien was Chat Noir. The two people he held most dear were against him and Father. Now he had to choose what meant more to him: Their opinion or Mother’s health.

Felix touched a hand to the glass of his Mother’s coffin. It was cold against his skin, the same way he imagined her to be during her current, sleeping state.

“Duusu, can you heal her like you did me?” He asked.

The kwami shook her head. “I’m sorry, but the peacock miraculous doesn’t work like that.”

Felix sighed. “So, I do need the wish to heal her.” 

Why was he hesitating? Wasn’t this the thing he’s been working towards for months now? Adrien had the ring, and Marinette had the earrings. They were both so close that Felix would barely need to do anything to get them. The wish was at his fingertips, right there in front of him. All he had to do was act.

Felix took his hand off the glass. “Duusu, spread my feathers.”

It will be the coward’s way out to hide under his mask while taking her miraculous, but at least the betrayal will be quick.

~~~~~~

The greenish brown leaves of Master Fu’s plant swayed mockingly as Marinette set the pot on her table. She’d managed to heal it somewhat during her training session, but it was still susceptible to illness. So Master Fu sent her home with the plant and advised that she practice during her free time. 

“You did a great job today!” Tikki praised beside her.

Marinette smiled. “Thanks, Tikki. I’m gonna get this healing magic down if it’s the last thing I do.” 

She pulled up her rolling chair and took a seat in front of the plant. Her eyes fluttered closed, and she drew in a deep breath, the same way Master Fu taught her. 

Clear your mind. She reminded herself. Focus on the bond with your kwami.

Marinette reached out to touch her plant again when-

Tap. Tap. Tap.

A knocking sound came from the trapdoor above.

Marinette’s heart skipped a beat, recognizing the knock instantly. 

“Felix.” She whispered to herself. “Coming!” 

Marinette stood from her chair and swiftly hid the plant under her desk. He probably wouldn’t think anything of a half-dead plant being in her room, but it felt natural to hide something related to Ladybug.

She climbed the ladder and opened the trapdoor, and Le Paon dropped down into her room. 

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” He said in greeting.

Marinette smiled. “No, not really. I was just.. Uh.. sketching.”

Le Paon offered a small smile. “Oh? It wasn’t a picture of me again was it?”

Marinette pursed her lips, a soft blush swirling across her cheeks. “Well, no.. not this time.”

Le Paon’s smile widened slightly, and Marinette felt her heart rate pick up. The last time they were in her room along like this, they kissed. Would he kiss her again? Was it okay to admit that, despite the stress of him working for Hawkmoth, she really wanted him to?

“So.. what brings you here?” She inquired, horribly hoping he would simply say her name, that he would admit to missing her too.

Le Paon’s smile faltered. Not exactly the response she was looking for.

“I..” His gaze flicked to the left of her a moment, and his expression twisted with confliction. “Uhm..”

Marinette’s eyebrow knitted together. “Le Paon? Is everything okay?”

Le Paon met her eyes again, swallowing thickly. “Of course. I just.. I wanted to see you. You know, after last night.”

Marinette frowned. She might be wrong, but people don’t normally look conflicted when talking about a kiss.. unless..

Marinette’s stomach twisted. 

“Do regret it?” She hated to ask the question- What if he did regret it? Where would they go from there? -but she also needed to know. The last thing Marinette wanted to do was pressure Felix into spending time with her on a romantic basis. 

Le Paon’s eyes widened. “What? No, not all! I mean, I regret not asking permission first, but..” 

Relief flooded Marinette’s chest, though his answer still didn’t explain why he looked so conflicted a second ago. “But?”

Something flickered across his expression, but she didn’t have time to decipher it as he took a step forward. “But I could never regret kissing you. In fact, I..” his hand came up to cup her cheek again. “I was hoping to do it again.”

Marinette held back a smile as butterflies fluttered through her. “Is that your way of asking for permission?”

“Should I be on my knees begging instead?” He replied teasingly.

A giggle bubbled up her throat. “Maybe.”

Her leaned forward, capturing her lips in a soft kiss, and the rush of euphoria that came with the contact left her absolutely giddy. She should probably be practicing with her magic right now, or convincing Le Paon to go talk to her alter ego, but all she could think about was the touch of his lips on hers and the gentle strokes of his thumbs on her cheeks.

“I love you.” Le Paon mumbled against her lips, sending Marinette through the roof. He loved her! Albeit, he confessed to it as Le Paon, but still-

“And I’m sorry.”

Wait, what?

Marinette opened her eyes, only to wince when Le Paon quickly yanked out her earrings. As soon as he had them, he jumped back and started climbing up the ladder.

“Wait!” She yelled, pure, icy fear shooting through her veins. How did he know? When did he know? 

Le Paon threw himself out the trap door and slammed it shut. Marinette shot up the ladder after him and swung the trapdoor open again, but he was already two rooftops away. Without her miraculous, she had no way of going after him.

Marinette started hyperventilating. How was she going to explain this to Master Fu? Did Felix already have the ring? What if he made the wish? What if Hawkmoth decided to make a different wish? With both miraculous, they could do who knows what!

“Felix!” She shouted desperately. He didn’t hear her. If he did, he didn’t turn around.

She could only watch as he disappeared into the night.

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[twilitty]

Moonlit ch.3

This is the third chapter in my new fic Moonlit, it will be posted on Tumblr, ao3, and ffnet. New chapters uploaded every two weeks. Message/comment to be added to my tag list.

3.4k words

previous chapter

This chapter was not read over by a beta reader, so if you notice any mistakes please let me know in a private message. If you are interested in reading my chapters early and having a hand in the editing process, please let me know via direct message :)

Charlie arrives home from the new doctors household in odd condition. Bella becomes acquainted with a new friend and gets her first driving lesson.

Chapter Three

There’s something oddly comforting about the loud, thunderous engine of my new truck. It successfully blocks out all the thoughts I hope to escape from, and it does so in a way that does not involve the incessant pattering of rain. In fact, it completely eliminates the sound of rain, a miracle I hadn’t thought possible. I can’t imagine I’ll ever manage to repay Jacob for this gift, it means so much more to me than a couple thousand dollars and a way to get around. It’s my escape. 

Charlie had gotten back from the new doctor's household late last night, his eyes bleary with sleep and arms hanging limp by his sides in what can only be described as a dead mans walk. I was used to the posture he held, all slumped over and distracted, as if he had gone on a three day long bender and returned empty of adrenaline and a will to stay awake. Renee had come home from too many “spa-retreats'' with that same form. Dead mans walk, that’s what her friend had called it when I brought it up. “Dead on the outside but more alive than you’ve ever felt on the inside,” she had explained with a distant smile, “awful to watch but beautiful to live out.” 

It was strange to see my father, the stoic police chief, in that position. Perhaps he enjoyed his time at the new doctors house more than he thought he would, perhaps he enjoyed it enough to come in looking prematurely hungover and drained of energy. I wonder if he was drinking, or dancing, or maybe the new family- I blink my eyes hard, squeezing out all the muted light coming from the kitchen window. Stars dance in front of my vision once I open them again. Don’t think of what Charlie was doing there, I tell myself viciously. Please, I add on as an afterthought, as though my subconscious was privy to social niceties. 

The clock on the microwave reads noon hour and my heart stutters. Charlie is still upstairs, dead asleep. He’s the one that wakes me up in the morning, always dressed and with a cup of coffee. But, no, he’s probably just tired from his long shift yesterday and maybe a little hungover. Only a little. In fact, maybe less than a little, maybe he isn’t hungover at all.

Soon, by which I mean no less than two hours after my initial worry over my fathers condition, he emerges from his bedroom and I can hear his footsteps lead into the bathroom. Good, I think, he’s awake before three in the afternoon. That must count for something. Perhaps- My thoughts, aimlessly trying to convince my subconscious that there is no reason for me to worry about the state of my middle-aged father, are interrupted. 

“Bella?” Charlie calls quietly from the top of the stairs. He sounds like he just woke up from a long night out. Hangover voice is something I am very familiar with, although not from first hand experience. Any solace I had reached seconds ago comes crashing down into a pile at my feet.  

I clear my throat, “Down here!” He comes down, feet stepping lightly on each step so as to barely make a noise. He enters the kitchen with a weary look on his face, as if I’m the one acting out of character. “Yeah?”

“What are you doing up so early?” He asks incredulously. I look at the time in the bottom corner of my computer, nearly two in the afternoon. I look back up at him with my eyebrows pinched. 

“Char- Dad, it’s after noon.” My fathers eyes go wide, the whites showing prominently before squeezing down into a harsh blink. He turns to the microwave and his eyes blink violently again. “Dad?”

He doesn’t say anything, but his hands come together at the top of his head, interlacing over the brown hair he passed onto me. “I- I’m getting to work. I’ll see you for dinner.” He mumbles his words, the syllables pouring out into the air without any order. He retreats back upstairs with little more than a squeak on the floorboards, his eyebrows thick over his eyes with worry. The shower turns on quickly and I look back to my computer screen. I have to do some school work, Charlie is a grown man who can take care of himself. 

I brew him a fresh pot of coffee, putting the creamer out on the counter even though I know he takes it black. 

One of my favourite things about Forks, besides my new truck, is the ever present gloom that seems to permeate any mood you had prior to stepping outdoors. It’s like living in a depressive gothic novel written in nineteenth century England. Obsessively torturing the protagonist with dramatic metaphors and the blatant use of personification with inanimate objects like lampshades and tea kettles. I walk outside and my brain fills with run-on sentences about the state of my personal emotional evolution or the true crime of humanity being the amount of introspection that we would require to understand it. Almost compulsively, I assess my morals and the ethical value of my actions as if the rain draws out my inner philosopher. It’s dramatic and moody and unpleasant to experience. 

Yet, I find myself drawn into this trance of deep inner thought and revel in it.

This is what I am doing when I park outfront of The Diner and walk through the front doors. My mind is occupied with drawn out thoughts that sound closer to Shakespeare than a girl who is barely passing her summer courses. My footfalls seem to almost perfectly fall in tune with my thoughts. I wonder if I’m walking funny, I think suddenly with a pointed look at my awkward steps. This is an issue with spending so much time alone in such a gloomy town; you forget other people exist. I pick up the pace of my footfalls and try to let my legs work naturally, but now that I’m aware of my walking I am incapable of walking naturally and feel like an oaf. 

It is while I am walking like an oaf that someone calls out, “Isabella Swan?” My shoulders tense up to my earlobes and suddenly my feet are capable of walking without direction and almost steer me back through the front doors. Instead, I look up from my rough boots and meet the smile of the girl standing behind the counter cutting the large room in half. I try to ignore the stares of the other patrons. 

The girl standing behind the counter looks to be about twenty and has brown hair just past her shoulders, similar to mine except for the fact that hers is shiny with the indication of product and care. A wave of self consciousness rolls over my shoulders, my dull, limp hair is suddenly as bright as a neon sign in the dead of night. “Bella,” I correct her, forcing myself to step up to the counter. “Everybody calls me Bella.” 

She nods knowingly, as if she’s heard this before but just wanted it confirmed. Another wave of self consciousness crashes over me as the possibility of small town gossip arises. Does everybody already know who I am? I don’t like the thought of Charlie telling the town his eccentric ex-wife's daughter is coming to live with him, even if he said it politely. 

“Yeah, that makes sense. Isabella is kinda a mouthful and takes like three whole syllables just to say it.” She shoots a hand across the laminate countertop and exposes a line of white, straight teeth. “I’m Jessica, not Jess,” She clarifies with a sarcastic eye roll. I take her hand, warm and soft, in my own and give it a polite shake before letting go. “Nobody calls me Jess, it sounds like it’s short for Jessie and when I think Jessie I think either golden retriever or blonde surfer dude and I am so not either of those things.” 

“Jessica’s pretty,” I say with possibly a little too much enthusiasm. I haven’t spoken to someone as bubbly as this girl since Phoenix and I am poorly out of practice. 

“She is, isn’t she?” A male voice calls from my right. It’s as if Jessica had spoken it into existence, because suddenly a blond surfer dude- minus the surfer- is sitting only three stools over. 

“No, no,” my face flames and I quickly raise my hands in surrender. “I meant her name.” Then, looking at Jessica I see she’s chewing on her bottom lip and her dark eyebrows are scrunched down. I wonder if she practiced this expression in the mirror, it looks too perfect to be impromptu. “I mean, not that you aren’t pretty,” I clarify and her eyebrows shoot up as the blonde boy snorts. “I mean-” But Jessica raises a hand to stop me from torturing myself any further and drops the lip from between her teeth. “Listen, Bella, I know what you mean you don’t have to run in circles.” She says it in a way that insinuates I’m not the first person to fall into this situation with her. “You aren’t the first girl I’ve wooed with my tragically good looks.” This is not what I expected. The blonde boy snorts again but it sounds more like incredulity than a laugh. I open my mouth to interject, though I’m not sure what I will say, and Jessica widens her eyes at me. “Bella, girl, I’m joking.” 

My mouth widens into an uncomfortable smile that likely looks closer to a grimace. She shakes her head at me with an expression that reads oh Bella even though we’ve only just met. I get the impression that Jessica is an easy person to be friends with and also decide that I will be coming to The Diner more often. “Now,” She says, “What did you order?” 

I recite my order and she pushes open the swinging doors adorned with old license plates and bumper stickers to retrieve it. 

“I’m Mike.” This is from the blonde boy, and he says it with a small wave that very much so indicates that he has lived in this town his whole life. People in big cities, people in Phoenix, don’t wave like that. It’s too small and kind and friendly, there isn’t enough neutrality for him to be from a big city. He’s inviting me into a conversation with the impression that I want to be invited. Small towns and sickly rom coms are the only places where this happens. 

“Bella,” I respond, although he must already have heard me introduce myself to Jessica earlier. “It’s nice to meet you.” I tack on the last part in a likely failed attempt to come across as if I belong. It’s not that I want to be nice or friendly like Mike, it’s just that this will be far less awkward if I at least try to fit in. 

“Likewise.” We lapse into a comfortable silence, or at least he appears to be comfortable in the silence. I am not. My blood seems to have congealed in my veins and is refusing to pump itself into my heart. Am I getting enough oxygen? Yes, yes, I am getting enough oxygen. I know this, but my body does not know this and so instead of trying to formulate some clever comment I try to level out my breathing and suck in as much as possible without seeming weird. 

Three uneven breaths later and Jessica pushes out of the kitchen doors holding a large brown bag with a receipt stapled to the folded lip. She places it in front of me and I take a deep breath, suddenly grateful that my lungs are working and for the delicious smelling food. “I’ll pay with debit?” I don’t mean for it to sound like a question but it does. I can almost hear my mother scolding me, you need to be more assertive. You get stepped on if you’re too polite. I know she’s right but I ignore her anyway. 

“No need, already paid for,” she says with a wide smile. “The cook says hi.” I take it, then, that the cook is the one who paid for my dinner.

“Oh, really that wasn’t necessary.” I produce my debit card from my pocket, holding it out as if it’s perfect evidence of my ability to pay. “I have money.” 

“If you really wanna make it up to me I can take your number.” Renee would like Jessica, she’s assertive. I shake my head a little but still take out my phone and hand it to her. She punches in her number quickly, perfect nails tapping lightly on the screen before handing it back. Her own phone beeps. “Have a nice night, Bella! Text me whenever.” 

I say goodbye to Mike and he waves kindly, almost immediately afterwards turning to talk to Jessica. They wave as I leave and I can feel the eyes of The Diner on my back as I leave the building and enter my truck. 

It’s almost two days until I get a chance to talk with my mother, and within those days I accomplish more than one would expect of a girl who is so well acquainted with procrastination. Namely, I received a text message from Jessica. We conversed lightly, her with heavy use of emojis and me with improper use of punctuation and perhaps not enough enthusiasm. I know this because almost immediately after I send her my reaction to a movie she watched she calls me. 

“Bella,” she says in a tone that insinuates both exasperation and light humour. “I swear, girl, you are so hard to read.” 

“I know, my grammar-”

“No, no,” she cuts me off. “I mean I have no idea if you even wanna talk to me or not.” I’m shocked into silence, of course I want to talk to her. I enjoy talking to her. It seems I’ve been severely lacking in the friends department and it’s no recent issue. Ever since Phoenix I’ve remained forcibly independent, it’s nice to have people my age to talk to. 

“I- I can use more emojis?” It comes out a question and my mother is back in my head, assertive assertive assertive. Jessica gives a triumphant laugh and I get the impression that this was her goal all along. “Okay, okay, I get it. I’ll try to communicate better.” 

She just laughs and we hang up and continue texting, but not before she informs me that we will have to set up a schedule to meet in person. Apparently even with emojis in my armoury I am “more fun” in person. Who would have thought?

Within the two days before I call my mother I also get my first driving lesson with Jacob Black. He drives over in his fathers old truck, which he can no longer use due to the wheelchair. Jacob informs me of this with a smile that tells me he’s inherited the truck.

He bounces out of the vehicle with a giant grin on his face and his hands clasped excitedly behind his back. I could all but feel the excitement radiating off of him in waves. He had come prepared too, as I later found out, when he inserted a CD into my cars radio system. Soft rock echoed sweetly throughout the cab and Jacob drummed his fingers over his knees. “You gotta love ‘em, right?” He asked redundantly. I nodded, not knowing who I had to love or why, but just enjoying sitting next to him and listening to him talk. 

He walked me through the gear shift. It sticks when you move directly from park to reverse, so I should always pause on drive for a moment first. We practice this in the driveway a few times before taking to the residential streets. We mostly talk during the drive, him giving me all the Rez gossip and me providing him with the meek details of my online school experience and my conversations with Jessica. 

“She’s really nice,” I tell him as the trucks engine growls loudly at the stop light. “Loud, but loud in a nice way.” He nods in the passenger seat as if he completely understands, which I do not find difficult to believe. I wouldn’t be surprised if everybody in town was his friend. 

“Yeah, I know a few people like that.” I’m proven correct. “Like there are just so many things going on inside them they can’t contain it.” I nod absently but my mind shifts to the first part of Jacobs comment. I wonder how many friends he has? I can’t imagine he’s unpopular, or even shy, he’s just too exciting and fun. His smile makes me want to smile. 

“What?” He enunciates slowly with a slow head turn. I look away quickly, my eyes steadily focused on the bumper in front of us. I didn’t mean to stare at him. 

“Nothing.” 

“No, what?” I pull into the next lane, making sure to check over my shoulder twice. Maybe if I don’t pay attention to him, maybe if I just ignore- “Is there something on my face?” 

I look over, baited into meeting his eyes. A big palm runs over his mouth and he pulls it back as if to inspect it for markings. “No,” I assure him. “There’s nothing on your face.” Then, my lips widen as if with a mind of their own, and suddenly I’m grinning. “I mean other than-”

He guffaws out a laugh before I can finish my comment and looks over at me with a smile mirroring my own. “Bella Swan, were you about to make a joke?” I shoot him a half-hearted glare and realize that this is all too easy with him. Jacob is like an overactive puppy, so easy to excite and quick to make you smile. I also realize that I seem to really enjoy the company of this particular overactive puppy. 

“I make jokes plenty of times,” I retort with a quick glance in my rearview mirror. The houses have transitioned into a tree line and the previously residential road boasts a higher speed limit. “You most definitely do not. I remember being kids, you were always the sensible one.” My heart skips and my field of vision narrows to the space above the steering wheel. The road is slick with rain, I doubt I’ll ever see it dry. “You used to ask Charlie to put bandaids in your little backpack, just in case…” his words continue, detailing how mature I was for a first grader. I made decisions way past my age and was the first one to disinfect surface cuts and scrapes. I was the only one to disinfect bloody knees and palms, even though the sight made me sick. “It was like you just had to take care of everybody else.” 

He looks over to me, I can see him in my peripheral vision, but instead of looking back I force my lips into an open smile. I hope it comes across as genuine. “I had a thing for first aid.” It’s a poor response. Anybody could see through my shallow sentence and many people would call me out on it. Tell me that for a girl with such a large vocabulary it’s odd for me to suddenly have nothing to say. For a girl who claims to enjoy this boys company I seem to be going out of my way to deter him from ever calling me again. 

“Take a left up here,” Jacob says and his hand juts out to point at a beaten gravel road. It cuts into the forest at a haggard angle which makes it nearly impossible to maneuver, but I do so with more than minimal effort and release a heavy breath once we are on it. “Okay, now try to merge back onto the road.”

“What?” The odd, and clearly impossible, request pulls me out of my self-pitying thoughts. “Jake-” 

“If you can’t do it that’s fine, just switch seats and I’ll drive.” The devilish glint in his eyes provokes some deep, hidden piece of me that craves competition. 

“You just miss Betty,” I say with perhaps a little too much vindication. He doesn’t seem bothered either way and simply shrugs his large shoulders, the russet skin reflecting the light of another car's headlights as it passes on the main road. 

“Yeah, I do.”

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