#burnt some rice

[jazzums]

im a slut for dawn soap and a scrub daddy

[curiosity-killed]

Attempting to make adas polo and realizing a few important lessons

I don’t know how to parboil rice

If a recipe calls for 3 C of rice…use 3C rice

Big vibes of “this is intermediate, I’m a beginner”

I am a coward (see image below)

[ALT ID: A screenshot of a recipe that reads “Test by licking your finger and quickly tapping near the base of the pot.”]

[headphonemouse]

I may not know what I'm doing in the kitchen half the time but I sure am creating some interesting flavor combinations

[hunter-rodrigez]

My overall quality of life improved a stupid amount when I got a rice cooker that can also steam stuff while it's cooking rice...

[today-i-am-thinking-about]

the degree to which food shrinks when cooked

[foone]

I see a lot of people joking about the adhd thing of "I have a appointment/phone call at 3pm, guess I won't do anything all day!"

But no one seems to make the connection that it's a time blindness thing. One of the symptoms of ADHD is not having a good and accurate sense of time. And not doing stuff prior to an event with a hard deadline is an obvious coping mechanism for that.

Can I go to the store? It's 10am and the appointment is at 3pm. How long does going to the store take? An hour? Three hours? Five hours? I DON'T KNOW!

I get anxious trying to do things before appointments because I'm aware that I don't know how long those things take, and that if I think I do, I may be very wrong. Too often I've been like "hey I can walk to the corner store and grab a drink, that'll take like 15 minutes!" and then an hour later I get back and whoops my rice has burnt.

Plus there's also the fact that ADHD people know that motivation and focus is a two-edged sword.

Like, let's say you decide to play a video game. You've got time, you can pause/save whenever, so this should be a perfect fit to make good use of your waiting-time. So you start playing and WHOOPS you get really focused for some reason today (because people with ADHD do not get to pick when their brain decides to focus) and the next time you look at the clock it's 2:49 and you haven't showered or dressed and the appointment is 30 minutes away. Fuck. (you could have set an alarm, but now you're asking people with the forgetting-things-and-time-ignoring condition to remember it set alarms)

And with motivation, it can be almost worse. Instead of playing a game, you so something useful or creative. You clean your room or fix your plumbing or write a story or draw a picture. And suddenly it's great. Your brain is firing on all cylinders. You've got all the motivation you can ask for, and you are FLYING. the ideas are brilliant, your hands are nimble, you're getting stuff done you've been putting off for weeks or months. And then the alarm goes off. Time to go to your appointment. Fuck.

You drive there, your brain still full of ideas and plans. But by the time you get back, the motivation is gone. You may still have the ideas but you don't have the drive to write them down. You can't force yourself to do it. Your sink is still in pieces. Your room is half-cleaned, and you have to shove all the sorted clothes into one big bin just so you have somewhere to sleep. You've left things half finished again, in a cycle that has been repeating your whole fucking life. It seems sometimes that nothing ever gets finished.

So next time you don't even start. There's not time. You've been burnt too many times. Why add another half-completed project to your pile of shame?

My point is that people seem to be going "lol I can't do anything all day if I have an appointment at 3pm" like this is a quirky "oh I'm so scatterbrained!" weirdness they alone have, and not a major complication of a disabling mental illness.

(and that's not even getting into the secondary effects. If you know that having an appointment ruins your whole damn day, you're going to avoid them. Even when it's things like "going to that party" or "meeting your friends for a drink/game" or "going to a movie with that cute girl from your math class". Things you should enjoy. Things that'd help you be social. Things that make you feel human.)

[gyuzgrl]

Look at me ||kmg||

Summary- when your boyfriend surprises you with a new haircut, you can't help but want to jump his bones. You'd die before letting him know that though, ugh.

You were utterly fucked.

The moment Mingyu walked in, tired and sweaty from rehearsals, sporting a fresh haircut, you wanted nothing more than to grab him by the collar of his shirt and pull him into a kiss.

You were on the couch, as usual, reading some novel- now hastily discarded on the coffee table- when you heard your door open. It was Mingyu, obviously, and your face lit up at the realization. Like an eager puppy, you perked up at the sound of his keys jangling in the door frame.

"baby, I'm home" he called out, hanging up his coat as he walked in, eyes immediately finding your own. He donned a navy basketball cap, one you'd seen him wear very often.

You giggled, jogging over to him before burying your face in his chest- his arms came around to settle at your waist. "missed you"

"I know, I'm here now, hm?" His voice soothed its way into you, and suddenly the world was good. Nothing mattered except you and him, nothing mattered except home.

"whatcha readin' there," his eyes flickered briefly to the novel you'd flung onto the table in a rush, "same as last night?"

"hm, same one"

You pulled away from his embrace, arms settling around his neck now. Finally, you looked up at his face. Something was different.

"hold on-" your hand gently lifted the cap off his head when you noticed how his face stood out more than it did before, "oh my god"

"oh my god, good, or oh my god, bad?"

"good- so good" you mumble, staring at his now freshly cut hair. Mingyu had traded the long hair for a sleek French crop- a refreshing change. You loved his long hair but god did he look good with shorter hair. The faded sides brought out features that were previously hidden by his hair- his tan skin, his eyes, his jawline. You felt your skin heat up under his observing eyes. Had it always felt so intense when he looked at you?

"m'glad you like it" he grins.

You clear your throat. Your arms slip back down to your sides.

"yeah, uh- you should shower, I'll take care of dinner today, kay?"

"I thought I was sup-"

"you've had a long day gyu," you cut him off, ushering him to the bathroom to get him out of your sight.

"you're the best"

Nope. I'm a filthy, filthy woman who can't think past getting laid. If you knew what I wanted to do to you right this moment, you'd call the cops.

"pfft, damn right I am" you quipped, shoving your thoughts aside.

Alright, out of sight, out of mind. Mingyu had disappeared into the shower, and you made your way to the kitchen, grabbing a pot as you skillfully dumped a bunch of ingredients in. Nothing like a hot bowl of rice and stew to get your mind out of the gutter.

Or so you thought.

As you tossed the veggies around, spatula in one hand while the other rested at your hip, your mind drifted to Mingyu. Realization hit you like a truck and your eyes widened. He was naked right now. Naked and wet and probably soapy. His hair would be wet too. Fuck he probably looked sinful right now. You could practically see him standing in front of you- skin glistening, biceps flexing as he washed himself. The image had you weak, and an all too familiar heat spread between your legs.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck-

The hiss of kimchi- dangerously close to being burnt- caught your attention, snapping you out of your thoughts. You startled back to reality and added a dash of water to revive the spicy mixture. Diverting all your attention to cooking, you sped through the active parts of the recipe- chopping, stirring, frying- and sighed in content when all that was left was for the stew to come to a boil. As you carefully placed the lid over the now steaming pot, you felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around your waist.

"hi" Mingyu's voice was breathy and low. He dipped his head into your neck innocently, taking in your scent.

"hi" Your own breathlessness surprised you.

"thank you for making dinner," his hands squeeze tighter around you.

"c'mon you'd do it for me"

Trying to ignore the way his skin heated up your back, you made a lame effort to get him away.

"hey- uh, you should- you wanna put on some music?" you stumble over your words.

"sure, what do yo-"

"anything" you interrupt, too quickly for him to not get suspicious.

Mingyu raises a brow at you but decides to keep his mouth shut. Slowly, he walks over to the speaker lying on your table and connects it to his phone. You can hear his footsteps as he makes his way back to you- speaker in hand.

He sets the speaker on the kitchen counter with a soft thud, before tapping away at his phone. Soft r&b floods the kitchen and you wonder if you've done something to upset the universe. Mingyu's arms find their way back to your waist as he settles behind you.

You can't get upset. You can't. He asked you what to play. You said anything.

"anything I can do?" he asks, voice muffled by the skin of your neck.

"no I-" you let out a shaky breath, "I'm waiting for it to boil- it's almost done"

"so why're you staring at it like it'll burn if you look away for a second"

"I'm not sta-" Mingyu spins you around, caging you between his arms and the kitchen counter.

"c'monn, gimme some attention," he mumbles, eyes burning holes into you, "you haven't so much as looked at me properly today"

"I-" you start, feeling your throat close up at the sight of his freshly showered frame.

Grey sweatpants. No shirt. Wet hair. Smash.

"you?"

"I'm looking at you right now, aren't I?"

Your eyes dart between his face and the space between your bodies, unable to hold his gaze for longer than a few seconds. He scoffs, leaning closer,

"look at me"

He hooks a finger under your chin, tilting your head up towards him. You have no choice but to meet his gaze and boy does it burn.

"what's up with you today, hm?"

"nothing"

"puppy, c'mon you're so jittery, tell me why"

The name sends chills down your spine. A feather-soft touch ghosts over your cheek, the pads of Mingyu's fingers stroking free strands of hair behind your ears. His hand lingers around the shell of your ear for a while, before he sighs.

"I just," you whisper, "uh, the um- stew- oh fuck the stew's boiling"

He groans as you wriggle out of his touch, now turning back to the stove. Mingyu moves to scoop rice into two bowls while you bring the pot to the coffee table, settling on the warm rug below.

"thanks" he mumbles.

You eat in silence.

Every movement on his end has you jumping out of your skin. You're aware now, that he's caught on. He's been staring at you all this while. You've been too scared to meet his gaze. When he leans forward to nab the last spoon of stew, you jolt upright with a small squeak.

"I'll clear up-" you begin, desperate to cover up the sound you just made, but Mingyu was too quick for that. As you stood up to leave, Mingyu tugged you back down- right into his lap.

"stay"

"what are y-"

"stay here"

The scent of his body wash floods your senses and it's almost overwhelming how large his presence feels. He was everywhere. There was no escaping this, no escaping him.

"here's what I think is happening- you tell me if I'm on the right track, okay?" You nod, glancing down at the floor.

"I think you're a little flustered,"

You nod.

"and it's 'cause of me,"

You nod again.

"my haircut, specifically-"

Hesitantly, you nod once again.

"and," he traces his hand down to the crotch of your shorts between your crossed legs, "I think you need my help"

Your breath catches in your throat when his fingers tease your slit through the flimsy fabric of your shorts. Looking away, you can't seem to hide the red flush bubbling up your cheeks. It was embarrassing how easily he read you.

"am I wrong?"

You shake your head.

"so you do need my help"

You nod.

"how bad?" Suddenly his voice drops to a whisper and your eyes widen.

"wh-"

" how bad do you need me"

"I-" you feel your throat tighten. Words seem particularly difficult today, don't they?

You squirm in his lap, your back flush against his firm chest, but his hands hold you still. "this won't do, doll,"

"gotta use your words, yeah?"

He knew damn well how shy you got around him. He knew how you rarely initiated anything physical. He knew you couldn't bear the way he said such filthy, filthy things to you with a poker-straight face.

He knew, but still, here you are- sitting red-faced in his lap as he tries to coax pleas out of you. The bastard wanted to hear you beg.

"Mingyu please " Your voice is a whisper, meek and soft. It almost gets him to stop teasing. Almost.

"please?" he echoes, smirking against your skin. Mingyu presses gentle kisses along your shoulder, so soft you can barely feel them. The action leaves your skin tingling, goosebumps running across your arm.

"don't be mean gyu c'monn"

He grins, "just wanna hear you say it puppy," A hand slides its way down your body and into your shorts while his lips continue their assault. "you can do that for me, can't you?"

When his fingers find your clit and he toys around with it ever-so-softly, you can barely contain the whimper that threatens to spill from your lips.

"gonna be good for me, hm? gonna tell me how bad you need to cum?" he groans, "fuck you're dripping "

"Mingyu plea- oh" He slips a digit into you, pumping in and out so slowly you could cry, "fas-faster please" As the words leave your lips, embarrassment settles on you like a rain cloud. Mingyu, however, seems super satisfied.

"good girl, keep talking puppy, tell me what you need"

His finger picks up speed and your back arches away from him at the sudden change- "min- oh my god fuck you feel so good" His thumb rubs tight circles at your clit, and you feel your stomach tighten, an all too familiar knot threatening to snap with his movements.

The room feels hot. Hotter than it was a few minutes ago. Your shorts were still on, your shirt too. Clothed and writhing in Mingyu's lap, you wanted nothing more than to shed the suffocating fabric. He, however, still had his sweatpants on and didn't seem the least bit concerned. With his chest pressing into your back, you could feel the bare skin of his torso against yours, but it was a shame that you couldn't see his half-naked frame. His muscles tensed as his hands worked you up to your high, biceps flexing deliciously around you.

"please," You clawed at his hand- the one sitting snug in your shorts- nails digging into his forearm when he added a second digit into you. "keep- fuck keep doing that I'm gonna-"

"I know, puppy, I know, let go for me hm? can you do that? can you be a good girl and cum all over my fingers?"

His words sent you over the edge, and your head fell back in pleasure as you chanted his name like a prayer. You were a martyr for him- dying small deaths every time your bodies connected, every time he touched you, every time he lit you ablaze with his words. Mingyu always knew what you needed, what your body desired. It was eerie, almost, how well he read your mind.

"fuck-" a low groan on his end has you settling back to reality, and you realise his fingers are still moving. A cry leaves your parted lips at the overstimulation and your legs tremble when he holds them open. "you wanted to cum, didn't you? you can give me one more, doll, c'mon

"oh my god Mi- Mingyu"

"that's it puppy,"

His fingers slip out of you and trace their way up to your clit, coating it with your arousal. Two digits part you open, while his middle finger glides across the tender bundle of nerves, adding pressure when he hears your breathing grow shallow.

Your body spasms under his touch, cries bouncing off the walls of your living room, and he knows you're nearing another high. Mingyu flicks your clit, pulling a particularly loud moan from you, and quickens his pace.

"c'mon, sweetheart, cum for me, hm? I know you want to baby, just let go" And with that, you felt a wave of pleasure wash over you, stronger than the first, mixed with a tinge of pain- you didn't mind at all, though, did you?

Mingyu can't resist slipping his fingers back into you to coat them with your juices, and you jerk up. A smirk graces his handsome features and he pumps into you a few times, teasing just a little. Your body goes limp atop him, shoulders slumping, thighs quivering into him. It's adorable, he thinks. All he'd done was fuck you on his fingers, yet here you are, spent like you'd been at it all night.

"still with me, puppy?"

You nod, dazed. Your mouth feels dry- throat hoarse from all the screaming you'd done minutes before- and your limbs feel like jelly, but god did you want more. No matter what time of day, no matter how tired or upset or distracted you are, if he was offering, you were game. Just like you are now.

"are you sure? you're- fuck you're shaking " A soothing hand smooths over your exposed thigh, tender like he didn't just rip two orgasms out of you in succession. It's almost ironic how he switches from being an overwhelming tease to a gentle little lamb. The same hands that labored to work you up, to break you, are now rubbing your skin softly to bring you down and settle your frenzied nerves.

The two of you sit in place for a minute, with him whispering sweet nothings in your ear as he calms you down. When he feels you relax completely Mingyu is quick to scoop you up in his arms and place you on the couch, settling himself between your thighs on his knees. He looks up at you in silent permission, eyes practically begging for you to say yes. To say something.

So you do.

"please- please touch me " It's embarrassing the way your voice comes out all soft and wobbly but neither of you mind. Fuck, Mingyu thinks it's the hottest thing he's heard you say. And of course, since you asked so nicely, who was he to disoblige?

Seconds after, you found yourself sobbing into your arm- draped over your face- at the way he lapped you up. The sheer wetness of you was intoxicating. He couldn't help but be a little selfish. He'd wanted a taste ever since he saw how hard you tried to control yourself all night.

"so good for me," you heard him mumble against you, "so fucking sweet". You could've sworn he was getting more out of this than you were, but with the way your voice gave way to the most lewd sounds you've ever made, it was anyone's game.

Mingyu licks a fat stripe up your folds before plunging his tongue into your hole, fucking you with the wet muscle. You cry out in pleasure, feeling the way he forces his way in. The wet squelches of your sex coupled with the borderline pornographic moans you made were enough to make a sailor blush. It was so raw, so carnal.

His hands pry your thighs apart when you start closing in around him, and he pins them open, merciless in his assault. "be good, baby" he warns.

And you want to be. You really do. But with the way his tongue works into you, you can't help yourself. It's too much. You feel your legs strain against his hands, flesh giving under the force of his grip. His brows crease with effort and he groans into you, shoving your thighs even further apart. The sudden force earns him a yelp on your end, and he smirks in satisfaction.

"you're gonna keep these open for me aren't you, puppy?" Mingyu withdraws his tongue and kisses his way up to your clit. He places a few wet pecks at your clit before stimulating it with his tongue, using your wetness to trace back and forth.

Your back arches against the couch, head falling back- "ye-fuck- anything you want". Mingyu seems satisfied with your response and within moments he brings you to your third orgasm of the evening. His name leaves your lips in a high-pitched cry as you cum, hands flying to grab at his hair and drag him away from your sensitive heat.

It makes him chuckle, your sensitivity. You were so fucking cute like this, ruined for him, by him. He did this. He did this and he knew no one else could.

"baby," he coos, now standing in front of you, "where'd my pretty girl go, hm? thought you wanted to cum on my cock but if yo-"

"n-no please daddy, please- want your cock so bad plea-" The urgency in your voice is evident as you scramble up on wobbly legs to keep him close, knees giving way so quickly you can barely process what happens when he rushes to support you.

"oh puppy," Mingyu feels something stir within him at your panicked desperation, "shh baby, I got you hm? whatever you want from me is yours, I'm yours- always will be"

That's how you end up in his arms, carrying you to the bedroom with his eyes locked onto yours; wordless and intense. He lowers you onto the plush surface of your bed, making sure your head rests comfortably on the pillows behind. In a swift motion, he sheds his sweatpants, leaving himself completely bare for you.

"please," you whimper, "daddy please-". It's painful how badly you need him. He seems to be able to tell as well, seeing how his limbs drag him back into bed, parting on either side of your hip. You feel the way his cock ghosts over where you need him most, and your eyes begin to well with tears. "please"

He complies, wordlessly.

The head of his cock- angry and red- slips between your folds, lubricating his length with your slick so he doesn't hurt you when he pushes in. It's a simple action, but it makes your back arch prettily under him, begging for more.

"colour?" he asks, looking into your eyes.

"green" you affirm.

Slowly, he pushes into you, hips meeting yours as he bottoms out. Mingyu groans at the tight fit, you sob at the stretch. Your walls stretch deliciously around him and he finds himself getting lost in your heat right away. The sounds you made, that blissful fucked-out look on your face, the way you tried so hard to keep your eyes open- failing almost always- he was weak for it all. Weak for you. He draws his hips back before thrusting in again and again, until tears stream down your cheeks and all you can think is 'mingyu mingyu mingyu'.

His eyes never left your face for a second and he drank in the sounds you made, muffling his own by biting down into your neck. The tender skin vibrated under his lips with every moan, every sob he drew out of you.

You were alive under him.

Feverish hands trailed around his shoulders up to the sides of his neck, pulling him closer, feeling his skin, his weight, his breathing against your body. The slow, sensual drag of his hips was intense. More than it usually was. Thus far, you'd always had a great time with him, always been fucked right, but now? Now with the way he cradled you in his arms, inhaling your scent as he rocked his body desperately into yours, you were certain this was more than just fucking. He was making love to you.

Perhaps it was the way you so earnestly needed him. Perhaps it was the desperation in your eyes. Something, something, had struck a chord within him because now, he looked at you and made you feel like you were made for him. Like you were the only two people in this world and nothing else mattered. Like he had maybe- just maybe- fallen in love with you.

"gonna c- daddy, fuck don't stop," you moaned, tugging at his hair, nails digging into his back.

He groans in response and you know he's cumming right with you. "so good for me- made just for me- fuck"

A few more thrusts before his movements lose precision, growing sloppy and strained. Mingyu rips his head from the crevice of your neck and looks at you. You're on the brink of coming undone, nearly there, and he could swear he's dreaming. You're so pretty, always are, but something about you now has him losing himself faster than usual. The pink tinge on your cheeks that glows when you drink yourself nearly to death pales in comparison to the burning hue now, your pupils are blown wider than he'd ever seen, and your lips- fuck your lips- they were swollen and bruised and glossy- he can't get enough.

He watches as you break under him, his name flowing from your mouth along a stream of sobs and whimpers, and follows suit, releasing his load into you.

Reality hits soon after, and his exhaustion catches up to him, as does yours. Mingyu crushes you under him, laying on top of you for a minute to catch his breath.

"that was-" he starts before breaking off into an airy scoff, "christ "

All you can offer in response is a weak laugh, and he kisses the skin under his lips in pity. "m'sorry puppy, I dunno what got int-"

"don't be. really. I uh, I liked tonight. a lot."

Mingyu pulls himself up to kiss you, softly, gently. It made your stomach churn. 'oh.' you realized, 'I'm in love'

What you don't realize, however, is that Mingyu feels the same.

For now, all you can do is lean into his touch as he picks you up and takes you to the bathroom to clean up. We'll save confessing for another day.

[regal-bones]

SWORDTEMBER DAY 6: ENTANGLED

The Red Eye of the Cosmos, of galactic prophecy and some stuff that got caught on it when it was in my tote bag ⭐️💀 A distant echo of thunder rolls over the Infinite Plains. There, in the distance, a speck of blue light stares you down. The so-called “hero”, a name chosen by the feeble Uprising. You spit on the ground, and watch as the saliva sizzles to steam on the hot rock below. Do they not know that under your watchful eye, the galaxy will flourish? That this Uprising sows nothing but chaos and contempt through your perfect, unified kingdom? The speck of blue grows closer, a bright blade illuminated in the dust storm. They only listen to one language - one of burnt flesh, cauterised muscle, and clashing sabers. Wait, you did remember your saber right?? You put your hand to your belt and feel your heart skip a beat as you notice it’s absence at its sheathe. You do a little emergency pat down of your outfit before you remember how you spilt that sauce on the sheathe - the sticky red one - and that it’s back at home drying from the wash. That means… The saber, you sense its presence. It’s in your little tote bag, aaah, okay. You reach in and feel many things in the bag, your phone, water bottle. There’s so many old receipts and bus tickets in here why don’t you just throw them away, and, no way, there’s a rice crispies square in here. How did you forget about that? That’s a little mid afternoon pick me up is what that is. This is such a small bag how could you lose an entire energy saber there’s only so m- there it is!  You pull it up and grimace. It’s all tangled in your headphones and - oh my god no it’s your embarrassing pink hair bobble with the knock off plastic sanrio charm. Your keys are caught up in the whole thing too, the key ring is snagged on the wires of the saber, oh my god this sucks. This sucks absolute ass. You're about to duel for the fate of the galaxy and, yeah, these headphones are really stuck on there, huh. You’re gonna have to unknot them before you can even begin to untangle the rest of this. There’s no time, you’re just gonna have to own it. This is your vibe now. You feel your face flush hot red as the hero begins his monologue, while side eyeing your bedazzled blade. You shift your stance, ready to strike, and take solace in the fact that least nobody will be left to tell this story.

A silly one for this prompt :3c featuring real life accounts of what’s in my bag

Yesterday’s sword!

You can support me on Patreon for £1 and help me make stuff like this!

[tvhsleb3ww]

NEW IDEAS - MIYA OSAMU

short bf samu drabble 🍚

"whaddya think?"

he asks and wipes his hands with a small handkerchief as he leans on the spot on the counter next to you. his eyes gazing at you as he awaits your response.

"is it too salty? does it taste weird?"

he bombards you with questions and you muffled out something.

"mmfh, iwts- dhwood hmmf"

he chuckles as he puts a hand on the small of your back, leaning down to your height.

"sorry, love. finish it first then answer ma questions, kay?"

you nodded and continued to bite down the new onigiri recipe he had created. he smiles as he sees you enjoying his new onigiri recipe that he has been experimenting for the past couple of days.

you swallowed the last part of the onigiri.

"tastes amazing, samu!"

you exclaimed excitedly as he just grinned. his arms crossed as he looks at your messy lips.

"ya say that to everythin' i make. how am i supposed to know if i should sell it or na?"

he chuckles and wipes the rice stuck on your lips with his thumb, making you snicker at the sudden touch.

"can't help it, everything you make is good"

you grinned up at him and he just cups your cheeks with his hands.

"a might actually just make a new menu specially for ya"

he grins and presses his lips against your forehead to which you just smiled and enjoyed his lips on your skin.

"but i'm bein' serious ere'. a need some new stuff for ma shop. can't let it go bankrupt, yeah? or else ain't no one gonna spoil ya rotten"

he brings his calloused hand to your cheek and pinched it, making you yelp. you laughed and smacked his chest playfully before rolling your eyes.

"maybe you should sell all of those onigiris you did. i think your customers will love it"

"ya think so? bet they won't love it as much you love it"

"i know so"

you said proudly and crossed your arms with a small huff escaping your lips. he chuckled and wraps his strong arms sround your waist, pulling you close.

"am gonna put yer name on the menu. so the customers can thank ya for the new stuffs"

"what an honour"

he laughs at your words. he loves this atmosphere. the one filled with love. he loves seeing you enjoy his food and spend time with him like this. there's nothing else in this world he can ask for.

"should i make dinner for tonight?"

he scoffs at that, playfully rolling his eyes at you.

"an' let ma precious kitchen burn down? ain't no way that's gonna happen"

he presses a kiss on your pouty lips before turning away to grab some ingredients from the fridge.

"i only burnt it one time!"

he snickers and places the ingredients on the counter.

"yeah but you burnt water, honey. i didn't even think that was possible until you showed me"

you groaned at his tease and watch him roll up his sleeves to get ready to cook.

"don't forget to kiss the chef for a good meal"

his words were teasing as he looks at you with a toothy grin. you rolled your eyes and pressed a kiss on his cheek. he then started cooking as you played some music using your phone. he glances at you from time to time with a lovesick smile on his face.

and that was all he ever wanted in his life.

[p0lyn3sian]

Slashers with a chef reader? Maybe they'll teach the slashers how to cook or bake? :)

OMGGG YESSS!!!

Slashers: Carrie, Chucky (Charles) & Tiffany, Sinclair Brothers, Thomas & Bubba, Norman, Billy & Stu, Billy Lenz & Brahms, The lost boys, Jason, and Michael!!!

Teaching slashers how to cook/bake!

Carrie:

Carrie's favorite thing to do is baking! For cooking not a lot actually, because she accidentally burnt the food she was making, almost cutting her fingers off for making the vegetables or meat, and a lot of messes everywhere!

But that's okay! After Carrie tells you why she doesn't love to cook as much as baking, you wanted to try and help her! So, first off you showed her how to cut properly, what temperature for certain food when it's ready, etc!

After a few days or so, she'll be like a cook in no time! She made Chicken Alfredo, Fried Rice, etc.. She's so happy that you taught her how to cook, and whenever you come to her house, she'll have some dishes for you to try! You'll also be giving her recipes that are easy for her to make, until she gets used to all the cooking! She is so grateful for you showing how to cook!!

Chucky (Charles) & Tiffany:

Chucky isn't really a cook or a baker, he just orders food... But for Tiffany she can cook and bake, but she thinks that some of her stuff is mostly bad.. That's why you are there at their house, showing how to cook and bake!

Tiffany is a fast learner doing things after what you do, but for Chucky he's just a slow learner (a really slow one). Tiffany hits Chucky with the wooden spoon on the head, telling him to do it or else.. So he had to, because he does not want to make his wife mad.

After teaching both of them cooking and baking for a few days, they've invited you to come again! They've made so much food, and a lot of sweets too! Tiffany gave you a big hug for helping her and Chucky learn to cook and bake more! Chucky just said thanks, but that's okay! You are so glad that these two wanted your help, and they're glad that you helped them too!

Sinclair brothers (Bo, Vincent, & Lester)

All three of them can't cook or bake.. So you taught them how to, of course! Bo doesn't want to bake, because he thinks it's only for the women so you had to throw a metal cooking spoon at him for that.. Vincent wants to do both and Lester just wants to do what you do!

So the first thing you did was baking! There were a few mistakes here and there for baking, like how Lester accidentally mixed some of the dry ingredients with the wet ingredients. After telling them why you don't mix dry ingredients with the wet ingredients, you guys then started baking different sweets! After baking all those sweets, you then moved into cooking, and again there were mistakes, so you had to teach them again.

After all the cooking and baking, there was a lot of food, and they hadn't been fed this well in a lot of years! They all said thanks and we're really happy that you wanted to help them cook and bake! Luckily while going to the store you remember about jonesy's food, so she ate too!

For the dog, people call the dog 'jonesy', and I think most of them said she's a female dog, unless I'm really wrong about the name and the gender, so please tell me if i made a mistake!

Thomas & Bubba:

These two wanted to learn how to bake, since their family are cooks but not much of bakers, except for Luda Mae! So you went to the grocery store that was a few miles down from their hometown, and got all the baking stuff they needed, even with the cooking since Drayton needed some seasonings and other stuff..

Once you arrive at home, you then start unpacking a lot of foods from the plastic bags! You told Mama (Luda) that you'll be coming back with a lot of stuff, and she was really confused as to why there's more baking instead of cooking ingredients. You then told her it was for Thomas and Bubba, that those two wanted to learn how to bake, and Mama wanted to help too since her boys wanted to learn! (She's so proud of them!!)

You and Mama taught them what to put in certain stuff, dry ingredients with dry ingredients and wet ingredients with wet ingredients, etc! Mama wanted pie for dessert, so you all made 4 big patches of apple pie! Making the pie was really fun with these two and especially funny, Thomas always tilted his head by the way he's confused with the stuff, and for Bubba he always shows you and Mama if he did the stuff right every few seconds or so. After all your hard work, you all sat down and ate drayton's famous roast dinner (ahem definitely not made from human meat 🌚, jkjk you already been eating human meat staying with these people). Then, you all ate the apple pie, and it was so good that Hoyt said who made these, and you answered it was Thomas and Bubba. Hoyt did a surprised face that these two baked the apple pie?? Which laughter then erupted around the table, just laughter and chattering filling the air of the Hewitt's home..

Norman:

Norman wanted to learn baking and cooking, just to help around your shared home! You asked him what he wanted to do first, and he wanted to do cooking first! Teaching him what to do with the cooking, you guys decided to do frying food! There were some hisses and ouches heard from Norman, but nothing too serious since he's getting used to the oil popping everywhere and going onto his skin.

So after all that frying, you guys went onto baking! Baking was really fun and also messy with Norman! You guys decided to make a chocolate cake for dessert after all your hard work! While the chocolate cake is being baked in the oven, you decide to turn up the radio to listen to some tunes. One of those tunes was playing Norman's favorite song, and he held out his hand for you to take, and so you did. Slow dancing to Norman's favorite tune for a little bit, until the cake was done!

Now dinner was set with all the frying foods you've done and the chocolate cake! Everything was beautiful to Norman, even with you he thought it was even more perfect than before! Both of you sat down from across from each other, and luckily you brought wine for this special occasion! And you popped open the cork and started pouring the wind into both your glasses. Just a nice romantic dinner with Norman..!

Billy & Stu:

These two mostly order out, which causes all their money to disappear almost everyday! You then talked to them about cooking and baking! Stu wanted to bake, since he loves sweets and for Billy he just doesn't want to do anything.. So you put Billy as the cook, he complained about it, but you ignored him for that.

Stu checked if all the stuff was measured correctly and ready to be mixed, and surprisingly everything he did was correct! He wanted to make brownies, and for Billy he needed lots of help from you! You then asked him what he would want for dinner tonight, and he looked through the recipe book that you bought, and pointed at Alfredo. You then told him to get out what the recipe book says and do it, and he got everything out. You then helped him with the cooking too, so that he doesn't burn down the Alfredo.

After everything was ready, Billy & Stu were ready to eat! You all sat down and started eating, Billy's Alfredo tasted really good which brought Stu almost eating the whole pot! And that's okay, you and Billy were full anyways, and after that Stu took out the brownies from the oven and gathered plates and cups for the milk. Stu then gave you and Billy brownies and a cup full of milk, and then started eating! Stu decided to make jokes and just laughter filling the air..

Billy Lenz & Brahms:

(decided to put these two together, since they're like a couple, attic rat and wall rat, wait whattt who said that??)

These two are like the biggest babies, whining for you to make food and sweets for them. You didn't have the energy to deal with all their baby attitudes, and grabbed both of them by the hands and dragged them downstairs to the kitchen. You then told them that they had to learn how to cook or bake.. Both of them looked at you and then at each other, and shook their heads telling you that they don't want to.. You forced them to.

They kinda hate for you to force both of them to help you with the cooking and baking. You had to pick baking, because it was kinda the easier one to do for both of them. You got the ingredients to make sour dough bread, and told them which ingredients need to be together or not together. Once those two were done, brahms put the sour dough bread into the oven.

Then those two wanted to cuddle right now, but you told them they had to wait until the bread is done. Then, the bread was done, it smelled heavenly for Billy and Brahms, and then you got the bread knife and started slicing the bread! (You didn't trust those two since they probably do something stupid with the bread knife 💀.) You gave each of them four slices of the sour dough bread, you walked to your chair and sat down and noticed that Billy and Brahms ate the four of their slices in just 5 seconds. They then dragged you upstairs after you ate your pieces of bread, just to cuddle with them..

The Lost Boys (David, Dwayne, Paul, & Marko):

You came up to your vampires and asked all of them if they wanted to learn cooking and/or baking! All of them chose baking since they really loved sweets, and they all wanted to try and make Twinkies! Luckily they had a box of Twinkies in their cave, and you grabbed the box from their secret hiding spot and looked at what you need for the ingredients.

Since they don't have a kitchen in their cave, you invited them to your house, but under one condition is that they all don't make a huge mess.. You all then arrived at your house and you gave all of your boys jobs just to make Twinkies. Paul and Dwayne are going to mix the ingredients and David and Marko are going to mold it into a Twinkie! (Or whichever shape they want!)

After making the Twinkies, you all then went to your couch and turned on a movie to watch as time passed by for the Twinkies to be done in the oven. Eventually it was done, and you then grabbed the pan from the oven using your kitchen glove and placed it onto the stove. You started counting how much there is for everyone and started splitting it up fairly. These vampires loved how it turned out, kinda crispy and warm after it was out of the oven! You all then bring your Twinkies and go over the couch and sit, you then unpaused the movie you all have been watching. Just snuggles and cuddles from your boys while watching a movie..

I literally don't know how to make Twinkies, so this was probably not really accurate at all..!

Jason Voorhees:

Jason asked you about teaching him about cooking and baking because he feels bad for you doing all the cooking! You were so glad he wanted you to teach him how to cook and bake, you then asked him what he wanted to cook and bake! Jason wanted to cook spaghetti with meatballs, and for dessert strawberry pie, because it reminds him of his mother's baking!

Luckily you two had enough ingredients to make spaghetti and strawberry pie! Jason wanted to do baking first, because his mother tells him that it takes longer than cooked foods! So you and Jason then worked on making strawberry pie, mixing in ingredients and you then put the pie into the oven. You and Jason then worked on making spaghetti with meatballs!

While the spaghetti and meatballs are cooking, the pie was done! Jason grabbed it out of the oven and placed it on top of the dish cloth, to let it cool down a little. Now the food was done, so you grabbed bowls and plates with forks and set them on the table, and Jason grabbed the food and the pie. You had some strawberries that were in the fridge and placed them on the pie, and sat down with Jason. Jason then took off his mask, and smiled at you, happy that he made food with you!

Michael:

You had to make Michael look at how you cook, baking is off the list because you have a feeling that he'll be eating the whole bag of sugar.. Michael didn't want to watch how you cook, he wanted to go out there and kill his victims! You told Michael that he'll have to learn to cook, because some days at your job they'll probably want you to work overtime. So, you decided to make the easiest one for him. Which is hotdogs..

You grabbed the pot from underneath the cupboards and poured in water from the sink and placed it on top of the boiling stove. You then grabbed sausages out of your fridge and plopped 6 sausages. You then explained to him that it'll only take about 4 to 6 minutes, since you already turned on the stove to the boiling point.

After the sausages were done, you then asked Michael to get the bread that was in the storage and put it on the table. And so he did, you then walked to the table and placed a dish cloth on the table, just to not burn the table. Since Michael is a picky eater, you got ketchup for him and other sauces that you like to put on your hotdogs. You then told him to grab a fork and stab at the sausage and place it on the bread. He did what you said, and you then told him to drizzle the ketchup in a straight line or in a squiggly line, and he drizzled into a squiggly line and he took off his mask and ate the hotdog. You then did the same to your hotdog and bit into it too, you asked Michael if he wanted to do this again. Michael didn't move a little, until he looked at you and nodded his head..!

[amathslutsguidetofandom]

This is what I think living with Beefy!Bucky would look like:

THERE ARE TWO PARTS, SFW AND NSFW (please read the warnings before you start reading, and lemme know if I missed anything!)

Warnings: allusions towards sex, allusions towards unprotected sex, shower sex, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, spitting on v and Beefy!Bucky being hot (yes that's a warning). Please feel free to DM me if I missed anything :) SFW:

Bucky would walk around only in sweatpants (of your choice, obvi🤭). His muscular chest and back are on display 24/7, and he'll only wear a Henley (you bought one in every colour for his birthday) during the winter.

You would only wear either one of his T-shirts or Henleys around, with a pair of underwear and that's it.

Ya'll cook dinner together every night. Bucky bought an old record player so, he could play all the old records you got him for Christmas. And while dinner is cooking, he'll pull you to the side by your waist then slow dance with you to either Ella Fitzgerald or Frank Sinatra.

"C'mon, doll. The rice is not going to get burnt. It's jus' one dance. F'me?" He smiles, as he pulls you in by your waist. You smile at your man begrudgingly, and place your palms on his bare chest, "fine. But just one song." You say in your playfully stern voice. Bucky laughs and presses a kiss to your hairline, "anything for you, doll."

You sweep and dust, Bucky mops and vacuums.

He'll let you get any household accessory for ya'll's apartment, whether it be a trinket, a fake cactus, or a picture frame.

"Are you sure?" You ask, holding onto the snow globe with a little glass dachshund inside of it. Bucky laughs and rubs your back, "s'fine doll, I think it'll look great next to the record player," he gives in to your want to buy the snow globe. You squealed when you first saw it, and Bucky knew he had to get it immediately.

You'll be singing a song with headphones on, making some coffee in the kitchen, and just dancing wildly. And Bucky would just lean against the wall of the hallway, just staring at you lovingly.

Laundry day is actually fun, you would fold the cleaned and dried linen and clothes. While Bucky would put them back in their drawers and shelves (using his astonishingly tall height).

NSFW(alright here we go):

If you're bending over the counter to wipe a specific mark that won't go away, Bucky won't be able to hold himself back.

You bite your lip in concentration and scrub at the mark with a wet sponge, but it doesn't go away. Suddenly, you feel two large hands grab at your hips and pull you back. "Fuck me, doll. You can't do that," he growls into your ear, slowly shoving your underwear aside. You giggle and ask what does he mean. "You can't be bent over the counter and then not expect me to fuck you," he shoves his own sweatpants down. You roll your eyes, as you feel the tip of him at your entrance. "Bucky," you whine, slightly pushing your hips back in his direction. "Yes, sweetheart?" he smirks, pressing his lips against your neck. "Buck, I need you," you softly moan and throw your head back against his shoulder. "Oh I know baby, me too," he whispers in her ear.

When he comes home after a long day, and hear's you in the shower, he will not hesitate to jump in with you.

He drags himself to your shared bathroom and hears the creaky pipes of your shower being used. He smiles and walks into the bathroom. You smile when you see him, "Hey, love. How was your day?" He smiles as he starts undressing before hopping in the shower with you, "better now that I'm here with you." He kisses you passionately before pushing you up against the wall, he slightly bends and grabs the back of your thighs. "Jump" is the only word he growls against your lips. You giggle and jump slightly, and your legs are wrapped around his waist as he uses his godly strength to hold you up against the wall. You moan, as you feel him rub his tip on your sensitive button. "Bucky, baby, please," you whine as you grip onto his broad shoulders. "Oh doll, you don't have to beg me. I going to fuck you either way."

Morning sex is an everyday thing that happens at y'all's apartment. He'll either wake you up to the scene of him in between your thighs. OR. He'll wake you up with his cock inside of you. Either way, you're not complaining.

You stir at the tingly feeling between your thighs, and you open your eyes groggily to see Buck (and his beefiness) wrapping your thighs around his head. He winks and smirks at you, "mornin', doll." He licks a thick strip up your slit, and you arch your back at the sudden sensation, "ah! Bucky!" Bucky continues to swivel his tongue over your clit, knowing how much you love it. Your moans slowly get louder, as Bucky soon pokes at your hole with his thick fingers. Soon you're wailing in pleasure, and grabbing at Bucky's hair begging him to make you come. "Come f'me, princess," he says before spiting harshly on your pussy.

🎀🎀🎀

Please lemme know what you think, this is my first piece of work 😊.

If you have any feedback, feel free to DM me.

Thank you for reading lovelies!!

Stay Coquette-y,

Anya 🫶🏽🕊️🎀

[icarusredwings]

What things smell like according to Logan Howlett/ The Wolverine. A series of smell based headcanons. Do with these whatever you want :)

People:

Ororo: burnt marshmellows, rain, chunky chocolate chip cookies, protien shakes, spansih rice, chillies, and cocoa butter. She always smells great.

Scott: cucumber shampoo, the remaints of a bonfire the next day, fresh dry cleaning, axe shower gel, lavender sheets

Jean: caramel latte, lavender sheets, vanilla spiced chai, books, mint ice cream, fruit smoothies, stinky hair product, lemon poppy seed muffins, sassafras

Hank: Books, sanatizer, various chemicals, a very specifc fur dander, kinda musky but in a 'im covered in fur and sweaty' kind of way.

Rouge: "Dolly Parton", brick and concrete dust, cherry blossoms body spray, freshly engraved wood, strawberries and milk conditioner, spicy gaucamole and freshly sizzled sausages.

Gambit: tv static, a fresh deck of cards at the casino, spicy jumbo, gin, lime jello, hair gel, "suprisingly good actually"

Kurt: brimstone, smoke from franckinsense, myrrh, a less smelling dander then hank, Holy chrism oil (olive oil and Balsam made by catholic priests), metal, and blue raspberry. Fur/ beard pomade sometimes for special ocassions.

Morph: even when changed he can smell is sandlewood shampoo, he smells like how "Jack Outta smell", latex, pine and cedar, clear nail polish, "that ugly quilt that your grandma kept on the back of her couch that was the warmest, softest thing you've ever slept with."

Charles: Old man fart, metal, chalk, shoe polish, nutmeg, wool, "a trusting hug", books, mahogany, expensive champagne.

Laura: "teen spirit", a shitty cheap "girl power" deodorant that doesn't do well hiding the sweat, apples and peaches, kinda woodsy.

Wade: Cancer, gun smoke, citrus dish soap, blood, oranges, taco sauce, infected skin once in awhile, red dye 40, slight over cooked and crispy apple pie, sugary cereal

Puppins: wet dog, dog dander, oatmeal senstive skin puppy shampoo, chicken, "the dirtest trash she can find to roll in on her walk"

Althea: Old lady, way too strong perfumes, butter biscuits, tea, peppermint candies, more cocaine, "baby powder", lanvender linens, cotton and daisy's Landry detergent.

Feelings/emotions:

Big/serious lies: smell like Gasoline and salty sand near the sea.

Small fibs/playful/ teasing lies: smell like Anise

Lies with decent intentions/are bent truths: smell like honey

Those two are easily mixed up.

Innocent (the person truly believes it. Ex. A child saying dinos are real) truth: smells like thick vanilla creamer.

Filling, whole truths (the person knows for a fact its a truth) smells: like fresh baked rolls/buns

Cancer smells vary like: urine, nail polish remover, some people have a pungent semi sweet smell like rotting fruit, and tar is another smell, depending on which part of the body. If already in late stages, one can smell like cadavers. Even spicy almost.

Pregnant people vary in scent but he can smell the rise of different hormones: Some hormones sweeter then other. If you asked him he would say cinnamon or dying roses. If you're later in your term the scents are more soft like lotion or custard. Lemon ussually.

Serotonin; cheese, lemon cakes, fruity, a bit light, and flakey like a pastry. Marshmellow fluff.

Dopamine; sweet fresh coffee, doritos(?), cocaine. Don't ask why he knows what cocaine smells like. He was alive during coke cocaine.

Endorphins; Sweaty Sex, mint, dark chocolate, violets, chemicals, varies by persons pheromones

Oxytocin; "playful cherries", freshly washed cotton pillows, the warmth of a bath, skin on skin hugs, strawberries

Joy/relaxation/relief: Jasmine, vanilla sugar cookies, fresh soup.

Anger/disapproval/hurt: smoke, the back end of a cigarette, spicy curry, iron, blood, "spoiled raw chicken left out too long"

Fear/excitment/anxiousness: Adrenaline smells like oil, paint, salty pretzels almost.

Tears: Oceans, lillies, fresh water lakes

[isadelusions]

Captain Curly One-shot! From Mouthwashing

| modern au | gn reader | married | fluff |

related to the married hc ;)

☆꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷☆

Comforting Porridge

You felt a presence placing a tray on the small table right beside your shared bed while a hand is carefully combing your hair to the side of your face. The aching pain from your sickness, slowly taking over your senses causing you to not care about your surroundings and continue your sleep.

Sounds of curtains could be heard shuffling, the blinding light through the windows filled up your dark vision which was previously covered by the thick bedsheets. You let out a small groan, your annoyance slowly rising ,your hands rubbing your eyes.

“Now you’re finally awake, love”

The voice of your significant other fills up the room, you lift your arms in midair, allowing him to help you sit against the bed frame, arms around you.

You shifted around your seat to your comfortability, rubbing the side of your forehead.

“Still hurts?”

“Mhm..”

Curly leans closer to you, removing your hand from rubbing and replaces it with small kisses.

As he does that, your eyes landed on the tray. A bowl of warm soggy porridge along with a slightly burnt fried egg on top. ‘Very thoughtful of him’ thinking to yourself.

Your eyes now back at him, a small smile displayed on your face.

“How long did it took you?” indicating the food tray beside you.

“Took a while but I don’t mind” lifting the tray towards you,placing it on your lap.

“Careful,it’s still quite hot”

You nodded while you took a spoonful of porridge towards your mouth, gently blowing it before being insert into your mouth.

It tasted very…watery. You could still feel the shape of every grain of rice, not too soft for a nice porridge texture? It’s giving rice soaked in water. Well the egg…the taste of sodium from the salt and pepper overpowering the egg flavour. But it’s not so bad if you pair it with the porridge together. Overall, it wasn’t the worst. After all, it was made with lots of love.

Curly just stood there, looking down at you for a reaction.

“Mhmm, it’s comforting..” you took another bite

“..mhm..would it be alright for you to hand me the soy sauce and sesame oil bottle..? I love the taste with it..if you don’t mind?..” you say with a soft tone, slightly afraid that it would hurt his feelings.

He immediately gave you a sure and went to grab the ingredients. You started to cut the fried eg into small bite size chunks, mixing with the porridge to kill time.

Footsteps could be heard getting closer and your now greeted by your lovers presence with a smile on his face,

“Here you go, hun” handing you the two small bottles.

“Thank you curls”, as you took them away from him and gently pour a perfect amount on your porridge. You then placed it beside the small table.

You took a full bite of your porridge feeling satisfied, curly sat on the side of the bed watching your reaction which he found cute. He loves to admire your face a lot.

“How’s the sickness, still there love?”

“I mean it’s still there but you totally made me better”,giving him a reassuring smile.

“Well I could go grab some errands for you before I head to work-”

You cut him off by your action, you placed the spoon aside and used your hand to cupped his face, squeezing gently. He slightly tilts his head, a little vibration could be felt from his face as he gives you a “hm?”.

“Im seriously fine okay? Thank you for all of this curls.”

“Alright hunny, anytime.”, He returns the smile and leans into your touch. He really adores moments like these,so do you.

However he still has a job to go for so after a few more minutes of having a sweet conversation with you he then gets up to prepare for work.

He gives you a tight side hug before leaving.

“Don’t miss me too much alright? I’ll get going now, see you later my love.”

Your partner can sometimes be quite sarcastic too, it’s just a part of him.

“Yes yes, just get back home safe darling”

He gives you one last huge smile which you returned the favor as well and with that he’s off to work with a good mood, one of the best feelings as he felt like he have shown you a larger action that he cares about you dearly and knows that you’ll be fine.

Oh and the porridge, you took your time to take every sip until the bowl is clean. This also made you decide if you should teach him on some basic cooking skills lol.

☆꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷☆

honestly I think I could’ve wrote this better but I’ve been sick for almost the whole week *sad. Hope you guys enjoyed this! I also do take requests so if you hv any, pls don’t mind to hit me up lol(I would like some ideas). Rmb to take good care of your health and if it’s midnight rn, pls head to sleep now >:| I’m under ur bed /j

Ngl craving for some daisuke ffs lol

[toomanythoughts2]

Here's some miscellaneous Metalocalypse headcanons. I'm gonna put them here just to get them down.

Skwisgaar has flat feet, which will result in leg problems later in his life.

Toki has nerve damage to his back and he can't feel it in places. He has to go to massage therapy for it every week so it doesn't get too bad.

Murderface has long hair, his fro is just so dense. It's as long as Skiwsgaar's hair.

Stella Murderface is William Murderface's paternal grandmother, so his mother is Stella's Daughter-In-Law and his father is their biological son. Murderface's looks skipped his father, so his father and his mother were average looking individuals. The idea that Murderface's looks were the catalysis for his father's mental break were probably intensified because of the paternal skip.

Murderface's mom was very excited for William's birth. She spent a long time getting ready for his arrival. William was a wanted, planned child, whose mother was fully encapsulated in being a good mom. She took so many photos of her pregnancy and had a baby book prepared. Mama Murderface was fully ready to be a mom. When William was born, she fell in love with him. William is probably less than a year when they died, but more than 4 months. Up until their death, his mom obsessed over him, loved him, cared for him. There are so many baby photos of him up until their death, and his baby book ends at the same age of when they died.

Murderface has multiple photos of his mother tucked safely in his room. He looks at them when he's feeling particularly sad and lost. He'll look back over the home movies she took, listen to her voice, listen to how much she loved him and how she was waiting for him. He blocks out his father in the video as much as he can. He hates him more than he hates himself.

Toki has a hobby grave yard. However, he is not afraid of any hobby and will at least become competent in them.

Pickles still doesn't really understand the internet. He's got the concept but it alludes him for the most part.

Toki's family is actually the black sheep of the majority of the family and Toki is the black sheep within the black sheep.

Toki was on his way to becoming the next Reverend after Aslaug, but the family at large was very wary of this possible development. They avoided Toki at all cost due to his presence with death and his possible future position in the family.

Everyone has neck pain from head banging and windmilling, so they have physical therapy on their necks to keep them strong and to stop any further deterioration.

Nathan has back pain. Like really bad back pain. Him and his father, since they are larger men, have consistent back issues that make it hard to stand for long hours.

Rose is Nathan's biggest supporter. She co-signed on the apartment, she helped get him his first van, she helped pick out stage clothes, she painted his nails. He would read his lyrics out to her (and his dad) at the dinner table and she would help him with lyrics and support his direction. Rose knew that Nathan's life was not leading him to college, but to something else, and she fully believed that he could do anything he set his mind to.

Skwisgaar is double jointed and can pop and crack his knuckles. Murderface and Pickles DESPISE it.

While there are many "Deaddy Bears", there is only one true, original Deaddy Bear. It's the one that got burnt up in "Dethkids" but it came back afterwards. Why? BECAUSE IT'S POSSESSED! ITS A POSSESSED DEADDY BEAR KINDA LIKE THE VELVETEEN RABBIT! TOKI MADE IT BE ALIVE WITH HIS LOVE AND THE TRUAMA! TOKI NEVER QUESTIONS IT AND THE BAND IS VERY WORRIED ABOUT IT!

Murderface has gotten himself stuck in the Iron Maiden before.

There's a lot more wholesome/domestic moments within the band dynamic than their fans or even the label knows about. It's regular shit, like a routine they have worked out with themselves about how to live with each other without going crazy.

They do the "Do you want my broccoli?" "I can take your rice." "Here, take the pepper, I dont want it." kind of switch with their food when they go out. It's just a choirs of plate scraps from one plate to another.

[seabeck]

My pumpkin pie tricks I’ve learned through over 13 years of making pumpkin pie:

One egg and a splash of vinegar make for amazing crusts don’t ask me to explain it but I stumbled upon a crust recipe calling for them and it’s the best.

Chill your dough before rolling it out and then chill (or slightly freeze) your dough before baking. This makes it easier to roll and helps it maintain it's shape when baked

Use parchment paper to roll out your dough and grab the ends of the paper to place said rolled out dough in the pie tin. That rolling it around the rolling pin thing looks super cool but may result in holiday homicide

Blind bake your crust! I do 15 minutes at 425f with special pie weights but rice or dry beans work too. Use aluminum foil to line the pie don’t put the weights in there by themselves!

The pie recipe on the back of the pumpkin purée is actually fantastic but 1.5x the amount of spice and add nutmeg. It doesn’t call for it for some reason

Replace half of the white sugar with brown sugar (or all!) for a “warmer” taste.

Slowly warm up the filling of your pie on the stove, stirring frequently because it will burn very quickly. Instead of having cold filling going in, the filling will be warm and reduce cooking time thus saving you from burnt crust. Supposedly it helps with the taste too.

Very optional but some fresh ginger is lovely in pie

[literaila]

lol why am I crying before work reading how satorou proposes… THANKS 😪

Now we gotta know how the honeymoon goes. I feel like it would be equal part shenanigans and romantic.

honestly, no honeymoon :(

they’re both so busy and gojo can’t be away from jujutsu high for very long, plus you don’t want to leave the kids, and a bunch of other reasons that travel isn’t feasible at the moment.

but there’s definitely a week—or more like a month, let’s be honest—that is your “honeymoon” (as satoru says).

it starts the day after your wedding. megumi stayed overnight at school and tsumiki was at a friends house so it’s just the two of you.

and, without fail, you’re waking up to at least seven (7) bouquets of flowers all around your room and burnt breakfast.

satoru is bringing it into your room, smiling all the while, and you just blink at him.

how he managed to do all of this (burnt eggs, burnt rice, terribly brewed tea) without waking you up, you’re not sure.

“am i supposed to eat this?”

satoru pouts immediately. “i did all of this work, wife,” he tells you, handing you a mug and putting the tray down at the foot of the bed. “i shed blood, sweat, and tears for this.”

you grab his hand, inspecting it. it’s soft and without callouses because satoru knows no hard work. “did you cut yourself?”

“making eggs?” he retorts, dubiously.

“who knows with you.”

“i can cook, you know. my wife should know this.”

“should we call megumi and ask?”

satoru sits down, pinching your cheeks. “no. i am enjoying only being tormented by one person.”

“weak,” you fake cough out, and he pulls your hair in retaliation.

but then he smooths your bed head, moving you down to kiss your forehead. he leans back and grins at you, his eyes particularly bright. he hasn’t bothered to put on a blindfold, or glasses, or any clothes besides his underwear. “we’re married, you know?” he murmurs, like it’s a secret.

“are we?” you tilt your head and grin back. “i didn’t realize.”

satoru reaches beneath the covers to grab your hand, inspecting it. “yup. there’s the ring.”

you grab his hand too, squinting. “look, you have one.”

“mines prettier than yours,” he tells you, intertwining your hands easily. it fits, feels almost right.

you scoff, leaning your forehead against his. “you’re just insulting yourself.”

“blame megumi.”

you laugh and kiss his cheek, and then his jaw, and then his eyelids. satoru allows this, his face twitching.

“are you going to call me your husband now?”

“i’ve been doing that.”

“publicly?”

you giggle, still kissing down his neck. “i think im legally obligated now.”

“yup.”

at that point, breakfast is forgotten, for some very… strange reason.