#burger imitations

[metellastella]

Get this. Today’s discount Whopper (including Impossible)(every Wednesday), National Veggie Burger Day, World Environment Day, AND National Aromantic Visibility Day. Green all the way around!!!!

[lakemichigans]

why have meat replacements been getting worse somehow

[gaybrahamlincoln]

Me and my dad will be watching bobs burgers together and be like 'lol look its totally us they basically based it on us' about bob and louise in the exact same way that bob and louise watch hawk and chick and are like 'lol look its totally us they basically based it on us' and i think thats beautiful

[nousiander]

I re animated a scene from Bigtop burger in the Rankin Bass stopmotion style.

This took a while but I think it turned out pretty neat, though not as good as Worthis imitations. It was my first time doing 3D animation so I learned a lot for my next project, as this was mostly a test to see if I could do the style.

(Edit since this got more than like 5 notes: if you like this kind of thing, consider giving me a lil sub on youtube, it helps me make better stuff and means the world to me! Also thanks for the kind words!)

[yandere-daydreams]

tw - mentions of kidnapping, controlling behavior, lyla is both Miguel's number stan and number one hater, and blood.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Hey, show a little faith. Have I ever steered you wrong before?” LYLA whispered, hovering just above your shoulder. You paid her a skeptical look, and she sighed, rolling her eyes. “Okay, whatever, but you know who programmed me! You cannot believe Miguel would be able to give me this shining sense of humor.”

That point, you couldn’t argue – even if you still had your reservations. With a deep, faltering breath, you slipped through the barely cracked door and into Miguel’s shell of a bedroom. It was dark, save for the faint red glow emanating from some half-finished electronic weapon he’d been revising and adjusting for as long as you’d known him, and of course, Miguel was still asleep. It looked like he’d made a half-hearted attempt to pull one of his thin sheets over himself before collapsing face-down on the center of his bed – which was, in all fairness, probably exactly what happened. You’d learned his routine, by now, knew that he’d likely only sleep for another three hours or so before dragging himself out of bed and back to his surveillance room. This might’ve been the first time you’d actually seen him in bed, rather than hunched over one of his many consoles or laid across a bench in one of the lesser-used hallways, having given into his exhaustion before he could make it anywhere more private. You didn’t like it. It reminded you too much of waking up in the middle of the night to Miguel looming over you, silently leering as you pretended not to notice him, even if there was a world of difference between what he’d done to you and what you dreamed of doing to him.

You stepped over the threshold, then paused. “Why am I here again?”

“Blackmail.” Miguel had mentioned off-handedly that LYLA couldn’t feel human emotions, just imitate them, but you could’ve sworn you heard a note of pure zeal in her voice. “You get the picture, I spread it around, and we both benefit.” Your phone buzzed, and you fished it out of your pocket. It was practically a brick (being locked inside Miguel’s spider-fortress meant you were blocked from contacting anyone outside of that fortress, apparently), but you still liked to keep it nearby. In the futile hope that you’d be able to call someone, anyone if you did ever make it out of Miguel’s reach, one day. “He still hasn’t gotten over the 2099-Burger. You’ve seen it, right? That was some of my best work, you should’ve seen—”

You shushed her, and LYLA flickered out of sight before reappearing on the foot of the bed, a polaroid camera now hanging from her neck. Slowly, carefully, you moved forward, only to pause when you actually reached Miguel. He wasn’t wearing anything, because he never wore anything aside from his nanotech and maybe a threadbare pair of sweatpants, if you caught him after a shower. It’d been too long since his last haircut. It was already splitting at the ends, fighting against his half-hearted efforts to comb it back and falling over his face, distorting part of his (relatively) peaceful expression. Even unconscious, he was frowning, but the dark circles under his eyes were less pronounced, his lips contorted into something that was more of a pout than his usual scowl. No wonder LYLA wanted a picture. There had to be more than a few Spider-People who’d want proof that their irritable leader could be something other than angry.

Half stalling for time, half trying to talk that better taste off of your tongue, you turned to LYLA. “Remind me why you can’t just take you own pictures, again?”

“Some of us are just a bunch of flashing light. Hot flashing lights, but y’know, lights.” She held up her miniature camera, and you looked away before the flash could blind you. “C’mon, you can’t say you don’t want to get back at him.”

Right. Getting back at him. This was supposed to be your way of getting back him. He kidnapped you, tore you away from your loved ones, locked you in a case of glass and metal, and you were going to help his AI assistant take a picture of him sleeping. The perfect revenge.

Digging your teeth into the inside of your cheek, you raised your phone, but before you could take LYLA’s picture and retreat back to your own room to sulk, an alarm you hadn’t set went off at full volume. You cursed under your breath, stabbing blindly at the screen in a panicked effort to shut it up before Miguel woke up, but an arm lashed out from Miguel’s heap before you could, catching you by the waist and dragging you into his chest just as the alarm mysteriously when silent. You clenched your eyes shut, bracing yourself for his claws embedded in your skin, for a growled threat, but nothing ever came.

You forced yourself to open your eyes and found that, despite everything, Miguel was still unconscious. You heard a camera shutter behind you – LYLA, her grin too smug not to be genuine. No doubt, you’d be able to see her handiwork on every screen she had access to by tomorrow morning - meaning, of course, every screen in Nueva York. “I thought you said you couldn’t—”

“He’s a deep sleeper. Very reactive, though – did I forget to mention that?” There was a pause, a wink. “Oopsies.”

You grit your grit your teeth. “Are you at least going to make him let me go?”

“Ah – flashing lights, remember?” Again, she flickered, reappearing an inch or so away from your face. “I’ll see you in the morning, lovebirds!”

You opened your mouth, but she was gone before you had the chance to protest. Still, you squirmed against Miguel’s vice-like hold, attempting to shove at his arm only for another to wrap around his midriff, only for him to pin you that much more tightly to his chest. There was a low, heavy grunt, then his nose nudging against the side of your throat, his lips ghosting over your skin. Slowly, instinctually, his fangs pushed into the curve of your neck, drawing out a pained whimper, a thin trail of blood. His teeth lodged in your throat, his body wrapped around yours, he settled against you, his breathing falling back into a steady rhythm. Making sure you’d stay where you were until he woke up – whether that was in one hour or eight.

It was all you could do to take a deep breath, close your eyes, and hope LYLA would lead you to a swifter death, next time.

[gothamite-rambler]

"You're my son and I will always love and support you," Talia said, surprising her son.

Talia picked up Damian from school, after showing proof she was his mother without using a weapon. She infomred Bruce of this after she had left the school with him and while he wasn't happy about it, Damian reassured his father he'll protect himself in case anything bad happens with his mother.

Although Talia wasn't there to convince him to join the league of assassins, she took him out for lunch, much to his surprise.

Damian and Talia sat together on the roof top of a random building eating vegetarian burgers.

Talia: This meatless burger isn't bad.

Damian (chewing): Told you. That place does a good job at making vegetarian burgers.

Talia (sincere): I'm so proud of you for sticking to your convictions on not eating meat and found good options like this.

Talia gave Damian a gentle pat on the head before returning to her burger. Damian focused on his feet, steeling himself as he prepared to ask his mother a question he had held in for years.

Damian: Mother... question.

Talia (turning to her son with a smile): Yes?

Damian: Do you see me as weak or inferior?

Talia (confused): Of course not, why would you ever wonder that?

Damian (hesitant): I... don't like killing, I don't eat meat, I like animals more than people. When I was living with you, you wanted me to be a better version of my father and Ra's definitely sees me as inferior. He sent it in a birthday card once.

Talia (rubbing her forehead frustrated): I knew I should've read that card before he sent it out.

Talia placed her burger on her lap and wiped her hands.

Talia: I battled through the same concerns with my father, and for the time you were with us I made the mistake of wanting you to be what Bruce refused to be. I look at those days with regret now and I am sorry for instilling that mindset in your head. As for grandpa, there's a big difference between me dealing with him and you dealing with him. Want to know what it is?

Damian: I'm triracial?

Talia (giggling): Yes, but I'm your momma, all that matters is what I think of you! Not Ra's. That man is a strict, mostly unhinged man with a god complex and while I do love him very much, I wouldn't take what he says to heart, tifl. I like the young man you are... You've never given me a reason to be disappointed in you. He looks down on my son? I will deal with him accordingly and have in the past. I love you because I see that you aren't weak. You're making your own path. When I let Bruce keep you, it wasn't simply to get you away from my father, it was because even though I don't agree with Bruce's no-kill rule, he's a man that can raise you to be a good man. That man may be traumatized, but him and his family are a support system I knew would be right for you.

Damian: Is that why you keep stalking him and trying to get back with him?

Talia: That and I want to get rid of the no-kill rule. I'll admit I'm crazy in love with that man, but do you think if I keep trying he'll change his mind and join the league.

Talia playfully elbowed her son on the arm making him laugh.

Damian: Sorry to tell you, but you'll lose that battle.

Talia shrugged with a smile.

Talia: Then I still have you and he... has you. We love who you are. I will ask you one question though, do you see yourself as weak or inferior?

Damian (shaking his head): No, I can beat Superman if I get the right tools.

Talia: Then you're doing good in life and if Ra's says anything to make you doubt yourself, please go to me.

Damian nodded with a smile.

Talia: I am at a point in my life where I love you far too much to be upset that you make decisions I don't always agree with. My father hurt you, I hurt you, and you never got a say on who you wanted to become. Bruce may not be perfect, but he was the best man to take you in. But Damian, I never want you worry that I think of you as a weak imitation of either of us. Okay?

Damian (nodding with a small smile): Mm... um... mother?

Talia: Yes?

Damian: I... love you. Even when you're a smother mother.

Talia: And I love you more.

Talia planted a kiss on her son's cheek, and Damian leaned his head against her shoulder, bringing a smile to her face. She might be a villain, but her love for her son was unwavering; she would never do him any harm.

[thevoicefromanotherworld]

"IS THERE SOMETHING I CAN HELP YOU WITH?"

Another story with Sergei 🖤

I hope you like it! 😌🤍

Sergei watches as Dimitri takes another glass of whiskey while he sketches an amused smile. It's his birthday, and of course he's not going to let his bad relationship with his father ruin their evening. He should tell him to stop drinking, but Dima was already a grown man, so he knew when to stop.

The place he had chosen to celebrate his birthday was an elegant place, a restaurant with live music where he usually sings several times accompanied by the piano.

Sergei takes a long drink from his glass of vodka and looks around at the people, until he finds her.

He has been observing him all night, he doesn't know if it's because he had caught his attention, or because it was strange to see someone like him there.

The truth is that the hunter felt out of place in that kind of place. He preferred to be in a burger joint, whose health guarantees were questionable, but instead he was there. It was his brother's birthday, and if he wanted to celebrate it there it would be for a reason.

The girl held his gaze as she brought her lips closer to her glass to take a sip of the drink. Sergei didn't blink, his eyes locked firmly on hers. There was something familiar about her. No, familiar isn't the word he would use, more like special, something that made him unable to look away.

"Fuck, get a room," Dimitri laughed at his side watching the exchange of glances between his brother and the stranger.

Sergei looked away from her to smile half-heartedly at the birthday boy.

-You've had too much to drink, Dima - she said, taking the glass with the remaining alcohol away from him - I'll take you home

-It's okay, I can go alone - he said, standing up unsteadily-

-Dimitri… - Sergei murmured, holding him by the elbow so he wouldn't fall, he made a gesture with his hand-

-I'm fine, brother - he nodded his head in the direction of the girl - go talk to her

-Do you know her? - she asked, he shrugged his shoulders-

-Maybe so - a silly smile appeared on his lips - or maybe not

-It's very funny, let me take you home - she smiled, taking his jacket-

-No way, you stay. You have better things to do than take care of a drunk like me - he muttered - the driver will take me home

-Do you trust him?

-No, but our father hired him - he shook his head - and you know how he handles things when he wants to protect his investments

Sergei nodded and walked him to the door.

-Send me a message when you get home - he ordered -

-I will - he assured - thanks for spending the day with me - he added - I had no one else to call

Sergei felt his heart sink when he heard Dimitri say something so sad and deep. He put his hand on his shoulder, and made him look at him intently.

-I'm your brother, Dima - he whispered - I'll always be here for you if you need me - he assured her - don't hesitate to call me any other day to chat for a while - he gestured towards the place - I love this place

-It's not true

-Yes it is

-No - he said laughing - you're just saying that to make me feel better

-Maybe yes, or maybe not - Sergei replied imitating his phrase from before - see you later, little brother

-Goodbye - he said leaving the place -

Sergei went out and saw him get into the car. Then he turned the corner disappearing from her sight.

It was then that he re-entered the restaurant. He slowly approached the bar where she was sitting until he was next to her.

-I've seen how you were watching me - he said looking at her out of the corner - Is there something I can help you with?

A smile appeared on her red painted lips, before she turned towards him.

-Don't worry hunter, I'm not here for you -she whispered flirtatiously-

-Is that so? -he questioned- And why are you here?

-Can't a girl have a drink at the first fancy restaurant she sees?

-This isn't the first fancy restaurant you've seen- he repeated- on this same sidewalk there are three other more luxurious establishments. However, you decided to come here -she put her hands on her knees- I want to know why

She took a quick sip of her drink. Sergei could see how the vein in her neck was throbbing rapidly. She was nervous, although she hid it very well, he was able to see it due to his skills.

-I need your help - she confessed, he smiled triumphantly - don't make me regret coming

-Чем я могу помо��ь тебе, дорогая? (How can I help you, darling?) - he asked in his native language -

-Мне нужно, чтобы ты нашел мне кого-нибудь (I need you to find someone for me) - she answered in the same language, he smiled -

-You speak Russian - he observed, looking at her carefully - tell me, who are you looking for?

-Mikhail Savalenko - she answered - is a…

-I know who he is - she interrupted him delicately - a trafficker of weapons, animals and everything that could be of benefit to his pocket. The worst of the worst - he murmured, looking at her firmly, his eyes shining in an amber tone - What do you want me to do with him?

-Hunt him - she answered decisively - that's what you do, isn't it?

He watched her a few moments with a thoughtful expression.

-To finish off a criminal like him and therefore his entire network will cost you dearly - he warned-

-Money is not a problem - he assured her - I will pay you 600,000 now and another 600,000 when we finish the job

-Excuse me, we? - he questioned looking at her with wide eyes - you are not coming, honey. I work alone

-Not in this case - she retorted - if you want the money, you will do exactly what I tell you to do

-I am not good at following orders - he sketched a half-smile - it is not my style

-Do you want the money or not? - she asked, and for the first time the hunter was speechless- I thought so- she murmured, bending down to pick up a black sports bag that was under her feet, she gave it to him and when she opened it she saw that it was full of bills- you don't have to count them, I wouldn't lie to you- she said- besides I wouldn't like to get on your list like that

-Do you want to get on my list? - he asked, and the way he asked it made a shiver run through her body-

She smiled, finishing her drink

-It's possible- she added-

-For that I need to know your name- he murmured in a low voice-

-Vanya Ivanof- he introduced himself-

He took a leather-covered notebook out of his pants pocket and wrote his name with the help of a pen in a special place, separate from the names of his next victims. He also wrote the name of the drug dealer so he would have it written down.

-Done –he announced putting it away again- nice doing business with you –he said- I just have one more question –he promised- I know there's something you're not telling me –he whispered- I won't pressure you to do it, but earlier when you looked at me, you showed your real eyes –he smiled- a beautiful red, by the way

-Shit –he growled looking to both sides nervously- What if someone else saw it?

-They haven't seen it –he assured-

-How do you know?

-Because I'm like you –he whispered holding her gaze- your eyes… -he murmured thinking out loud- What…?

-Robin –Vanya intervened- And you?

-Lion –he said while watching her- wait –he frowned- Does that mean that…?

-Yes I can fly, no I don't eat worms, I can hear and see things that are miles away –he interrupted, shook his head- sorry, it's the custom. People always ask me the same questions.

-It's okay, he reassured her, but I was going to ask how does flying work? Do you get wings or…?

-I turn into a robin, -he confessed, turning the same color as the bird- Shit, how embarrassing, it sounded better in my head.

-Don't be embarrassed, I've never heard of anyone being able to do that before, he replied, reassuring her. I wish I could turn into a lion, or any animal, he admitted, making her smile more relaxed.-When do we start?

-Tomorrow at eight at the Preacher polygon, he said, we'll go after that bastard.

-Okay, boss, you're the one in charge, he smiled.-Let's hunt that son of a bitch.

[lulublack90]

Prompt 6 - Trunk

@wolfstarmicrofic October 6, word count 317

“REMUS!!! REMUS, LOOK AT THIS!!!” Sirius yelled at his boyfriend as he scampered around the zoo. Remus sighed indulgently. He’d known Sirius would get over-excited if he took him to the zoo, but he’d promised after all. 

“Moony, Moony, come see, come see!” Harry babbled excitedly at him. He and Sirius had taken the small boy off James and Lily’s hands for the day. They’d accepted the offer immediately, kissed their son and bundled him and his change bag into his godfathers arms. 

Sirius and Harry were looking at an enormous fish, both with their faces pressed as close to the glass as they could get, pulling the same strange puffed cheek, slow opening mouth face, imitating the fish. Remus snapped a picture of the pair. Adorable imps that they were. 

The rest of the walk around the zoo was the same, Remus’s name being shouted excitedly while he trailed after the excitable pair. 

They got to the elephants and Sirius shouted again. 

“Remus!!! Remus, look at its trunk!!! Look, it’s picking up that entire log with its trunk!!!” Sirius bounced up and down with Harry in his arms as they both pointed at the Elephant. Sirius stuck his free arm out and waved it up and down, puffing his cheeks out again and blowing through closed lips to make a ridiculous imitation of the elephant. It had Harry peeling in laughter, his little face wide with joy at his silly Godfather. Remus raised his camera again and snapped another shot for his album. He watched them messing around and couldn’t think of any other way he’d want to spend his Saturday. 

“Hey, you guys hungry? Want to go get a burger?” He asked. Two wide-eyed faces turned to face him. 

“YES!!!” They squealed at him before rushing over, grabbing his hands and pulling him towards the exit. He started laughing uncontrollably. He loved them so much.  

[f1version]

ORDER NUMBER 16 ★ CL16

pairing: engineer!charles leclerc x scientist!reader (she/her)

summary: something about flirting with the guy you met at McDonald's at almost midnight.

warnings: fluff, meet-cute, probably unhealthy eating habits (aka mcdonald’s at midnight) because of work, the engineer and scientist thing is mentioned once, it is what it is (and it’s fluff)

word count: 1.2k

notes: originally wrote this in italian, like it made sense so it just happened, so have that piece of information!! also happy late birthday to this two baes @formulaforza & @strawberrysainz <33

“Welcome to McDonald's, what can I get you tonight?” The cashier said with a half-smile, they seemed tired, having the last shift of the day didn’t feel ideal anyways.

“Hi, can I have a six-piece McNuggets combo? Thank you,” you said, handing over your card, and Allison —according to the name tag— nodded, charging six and a half euros, handing it back with a ticket. Number 15. "Thanks again!"

A bar table, five four-seat tables, and the counter made the McDonald's a small place, a quick stop in small Maranello. You had the impression that you would be the only one there at 11 p.m. However, while you waited for your order, the door opened revealing a brown-haired man, his green —or blue? no— eyes finding yours for a couple of seconds.

"Number 15!" One of the workers called, making you look away.

Both of you reached the counter simultaneously, once again curious eyes stealing glances, there was something in him that attracted you. Maybe it was the fact that he was very handsome, or maybe it was the sheepish smile he gave you before greeting Allison.

"I would like a cheeseburger, thank you," you heard the stranger ask for and a slight smile left your lips, Cheeseburger, really?

You took your tray and headed to one of the tables, sipping on your soda. Order number 16 was called about two minutes later and you felt the movement a few meters away.

For the third time that night, green may be the only color available when the stranger sits at the table across from you, face to face with you. A small smile found it’s way to your lips, Was this guy serious? This is his way of flirting? Is it even intentional?

You watched him take the first bite of his burger and, as if it were a movie, the meat slid off the bun, his eyes turning away from yours automatically. A soft laugh left your lips, his cheeks turning crimson.

Suddenly the table in front of him seemed to be the most interesting thing in the world, his eyes following the pattern on it. This guy.

You softly tapped the table, the silence on the establishment enough to let him hear, his head shooting upward, giving you what you assumed was his ‘I’m embarrassed’ smile. You, confident enough in whatever this interaction was, tilted your head towards the chair in front of you, an invitation. 

He changed seats, both of you smiling, searching for the start of a conversation.

“So, is your burger okay?” you said. The man seemed a bit taken aback, yet he laughed. 

“I hope so,” he replied. He was smiling, pretty crinkles around his eyes as he took a couple of fries into his mouth, “That was a bit embarrassing”

You laughed, “Well, I think it was a good first impression,” you saw his cheeks flush again.

“Really? Then I’m the luckiest guy on earth,” he said and you laughed, taking a moment to tell him your name. His eyes widened, “Oh Right, mamma mia, I’m- I’m Charles”

You laughed and he followed, this was so awkward yet it felt right. Talking to him- Charles is very nice.

“So,” he imitated you, “How did you end up in a McDonald’s at almost midnight? And don't say because you were hungry,” Charles asked. 

“Oh, I had the fantastic idea of leaving my job a little late, forgot I had an empty fridge, and I was hungry,” you answered. "What about you? How did you end up in a McDonald’s at almost midnight?"

"I wanted to meet a pretty girl, of course," Charles said, a grin on his face. You giggled softly, he broke his little act, “Actually, my reason is not that different. I was working on a few blueprints and when I finished, this McDonald’s was on the way to my flat."

“Blueprints?” you asked.

“I’m an engineer for Scuderia Ferrari”

“You’re lying” You smiled incredulously, he shook his head. Of course, this had to be more perfect, “I’m a scientist for Ferrari, Charles,” You took out your nearly new ID, “I got the job a couple of weeks ago.”

Charles chuckled, bringing out his own ID, "Well, what a crazy coincidence, isn't it?"

“A rather pleasant one if you ask me”

Your eyes met, and both of you burst into laughter. 

This was such an unexpected thing, but in some way, it made sense. A lot of people living around Maranello worked for Ferrari, yet meeting one in McDonald’s wasn’t the most normal thing. 

Additionally, Charles is gorgeous, his hair brown and a bit messy, his shape soft but defined, and his green eyes. They were like walking through an enchanted forest and ending up at the beach, turning and deep but also bright and colorful. You couldn’t help but lose yourself in them. 

He looked at you sweetly as both of you finished your meal, his eyes drifting to your last nugget. A question appeared on his mind.

“Why nuggets?” he asked.

“What? You don’t like them?” you giggled a bit, eyes widening when you noticed his hesitation. “No”

“Well, it’s not that I don’t like them!” Charles tried to defend himself, laughter escaping him.

“Oh mamma mia, no no,” you dramatized, “Charles, you can’t call me pretty girl and then tell me you don’t like nuggets!”

"I've never tried them!" he said, eating the last of his fries.

Your eyes widened again, “What? Never?” Charles shook his head, “How is that even possible? Are you allergic?” you continued, one hand resting on the table while the other grabbed your soda.

"No, my mum always ordered a cheeseburger for me and it just stuck," Charles explained, one of his hands reaching for yours.

“Well, now I will have to make you try them!”

“Well-”

“Hey guys,” the McDonald’s employee, Allison, interrupted “It's almost half past twelve and we have to clean the place, so if you could please wrap it up! Thank you!”

“Yeah, of course,” Charles was fast to answer.

You looked at him, and he was already looking at you, cheeks flushed and you knew you were as red. Without talking, you finished eating your nugget and he finished his drink, honey eyes locking with each other. Why does it have to end?

“It was so nice meeting you, Charles,” you rushed out, not wanting to say goodbye. 

He smiled knowingly, “You know, I would like to try some nuggets, maybe after work or on a weekend?”

And how could you say no to that? 

“I would really like that”

“Yeah?” You nodded and he beamed, “It’s a date then,” Charles rapidly grabbed a napkin and pulled out a pen from his pocket.

“Don’t you want to write your number directly on my phone?” you asked endeared, he was writing as fast as he could.

“For what?” he said standing up, and handing you the paper, “That takes away the cliché aspect!”

You chuckled, picking up your tray and dumping what was on it, Charles did the same. Both of you said goodbye to the —apparently very invested in your relationship— employees and left.

"My flat is one block that way," you said pointing to the right.

"Mine is one block to the left," he replied, "I guess not everything could be so perfect."

You smiled, "I’ll see you later, yeah?"

"Of course, see you soon," he said before taking your hand, squeezing it, and letting go.

3XX-XXXXXXX — Charles Leclerc ♡

Don’t tell anyone but I think I fell in love with this girl at Mcdonald’s!!!

[echantedtoon]

A Lovers' Circle (Poly Haishira x Reader) Ch22 Flashy Muse P4

(I waa asked what jobs the Haishira worked while attending college. Here's a rundown.

Shinobu: Works part time in the office. Don't know what kind of office. That's up for you to decide.

Kanae: She works at the local florist helping make arrangements, care for the plants, and making deliveries.

Rengoku: Hasn't been stated in the story yet but he works at the local nonprofit store mostly because he's the kind of good hearted guy who would help others less fortunate than himself.

Gyomei: Used to work at the local animal shelter but now works with Y/n in the daycare.

Giyuu: Part timer at MacDougal's. A made up burger chain I came up with for the plot.

Sanemi: Part time Telemarketer. Mostly the guy who tries to sell you stuff like magazine subscriptions over the phone, however he also tutors others in math as a side gig.

Tengen: It's complicated. He's estranged from his dad and only living brother who's wealthy so while he could choose to suck it up and get them to pay for everything, he chooses to work with his wives to support themselves at and adult host's club and does painting commissions on the side.

Suma and Makio works on campus in the campus cafe and Hinatsuru works at a coffee house just off campus.

Mitsuri: Works with Suma and Makio on campus.

Obanai: Not surprisingly he works in the local pet shop where he first got Kaburamaru.)

Taglist: @shadyd3ar @jcrml

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@artbyrebel @abaker74 @lunarluna9482

@rainbowidol

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How could you have forgotten about Obanai?!

Well to be fair out of all of Gyomei's partners/friends, he was the one whom you had the least interactions with. The most you've ever interacted with him was two months ago when Mitsuri dragged him along to watch you both bake Halloween cookies for Kyojuro's party. And he all but sat there silently watching other than thanking you for the drink you offered him. In group settings the man had also barely spoken a word directly to you so he was all but a mystery. 

You didn't know much about him outside of Mitsuri mentioning he worked part time at the Mall's pet shop and apparently he was on bad terms with most of his family because of his relationship. Oh. And then their was the 'reputation' Murata had warned you about. Something about him being as feared as Sanemi, but considering all the other rumors that you didn't believe, you doubted Obanai was bad too. Not with the way he stared at Mitsuri with puppy dog eyes or was the first to help any of the girls if they needed something. 

But you still felt incredibly guilty about just forgetting  him like that. 

"Hey, Sweet stuff." Tengen waved a hand in front of your horrified face in concern. "You ok there? You're like-... Imitating a statue. I don't need ya to pose for me right now."

"Huh?" You blinked at him. "O-Oh! Yeah. I'm fine. I just remembered something all of a sudden."

His brow rose as you continued down the stairs. "Nothing bad I hope."

You shook your head. "No. I just realized that I forgot to pick up a Christmas present for someone."

He perked back up in relief. "Oh. I'm sure you'll figure it out eventually-"

"Tengen, what does Obanai like?"

That caught the tall silver haired man off guard as he turned back to you wide eyed with a blink. "Huh? Obanai?" You nodded and he hummed again before shrugging. "To be perfectly honest with you, Iguro doesn't really have a lot of hobbies."

"There's gotta be something he likes."

"Oh sure there is. Mitsuri, getting kissed on the hand, Mitsuri's cooking, if he's really in the m-"

"HOBBIES, Tengen." You quickly cut him off with a stern look causing him to laugh at your lightly flushed face.

"Haha! Ok, ok. Let's see ..Well he loves snakes." 

"Snakes?"

"Oh yeah. LLLoooves reptiles, especially snakes. He even has a pet snake. Unfortunately every time it's his turn to pick a group movie it's always some cheap thriller involving snakes."

Snakes..Ok. You could work with that. "Anything else he likes?"

"He really likes poetry." He rolled his eyes as you blinked. "I know. He doesn't really seem like the type of guy who'd be into that but he gets it a lot. He also really likes amezaiku candy. Pretty expensive stuff though."

"Amezaiku. That's sculpted candy right?" 

Tengen nodded as you both entered the downstairs living room and could smell the delicious mixed scents of butter, garlic, shrimp, and spices. "Yep! I think they're VERY artistic!" He motioned with his hands as if sculpting a ball. "It takes time for an artist to sculpt something so small and then paint it, adding all those small details like a little glass statue. I get one every year for Christmas from Kyojuro. Hey!" He turned to you. "You're nifty with baking. Ever tried making it?"

"I have twice back when I was in highschool but that was a long time ago and they didn't come out so good."

"Hm. Too bad. If you made them I would've offered to pay you for some."

"You two can talk about buying things later!," Makio's voices called out from the kitchen, "Get in here and eat your food!" 

"Yes, Ma'am."

You slowly followed Tengen into the kitchen where you found the table already set up. Slowly sitting down, you were given a tight side hug by Suma as Makio placed a plate in front of you which..you felt awkward about. You knew that they were probably just being polite hosts and serving their guest first, but you couldn't help but feel a little bit weird at the set up. It was almost like you were having a family dinner with the four of them. You decided to brush aside the strange feeling and just eat. 

You were already planning on texting Mitsuri later that night when you drove home in the cold snow and got inside your home. You weren't expecting her to IMMEDIATELY text you back as soon as you typed out your message-

Y/n: Hey, Mitsuri. I was wondering if you had any pictures of Obanai's snake? Tengen told me he had a pet snake. 

Y/n: oh and what's his fav food?

-and pressed send before you belly flopped onto the bed. Not two seconds later the rapid dinging of your phone startled you into shooting up blinking. It turns out Mitsuri had reacted immediately. She had sent you not one, not two, but at least twenty pictures of her boyfriend in different poses or doing different things while an albino white snake with red eyes was held by him or was otherwise wrapped around his neck or one of his arms. One was even a close up of the snake gazing goofily into the camera.

Mitsuri: AREN'T MY BOYS THE CUTEST?! :D HIS NAME IS KABURAMARU!!

Mitsuri: He really likes tororo kombu!!

Y/n: That's a pretty snake 

Mitsuri: DO YOU WANNA COME OVER TOMORROW AND MEET HIM?!?!?! 

Y/n:  Can't sry. M posing 4 Tengen tomorrow again.

Mitsuri: Pretty please? :(

Y/n: Sorry. Really wish I could but I still have to work and finish Xmas shopping. Plus I promised Tengen. But I can stop by the cafe after work on Monday. Ok?

Mitsuri: REALLY?!

Y/n: Yes

Mitsuri: OK!!!  :DDDD

Mitsuri: I'LL TELL OBI YOU WANNA SEE HIM TOO!! IM SO EXCITED!!

Actually you just wanted a picture of his snake but you weren't going to hurt her feelings and correct her, besides you'd be happy to see Iguro again as much as any other of your friends. For now you made a mental note to buy some seaweed and a special starch next time you went shopping for replies. Right now you could feel yourself slipping away to meet the sandman. 

******************************************************************

"You're here!!!"

That wasn't exactly what you were expecting to hear ring out when you entered the cafe late Monday afternoon and was greeted by an over enthusiastic Mitsuri bouncing in place behind the register ...Then again that's exactly the kind of thing that Mitsuri would do. You smiled at her from behind your scarf as many people in the cafe turned to Mitsuri or you holding Gyomei's much larger hand while holding a small Tupperware container in the other.

"Hi, Mitsuri!," you greeted, "It's been a while. How are you?"

She was practically gushing holding her cheeks with a pink face. Huh. You didn't think it was very cold in here with the heat on. "Fine! My dance class is performing The Nutcracker on Christmas and there's gonna be a Christmas fair in the park!  Oh it's gonna be so fun this Christmas!!" That's when she paused with a loud gasp and smiled at you. "YOU SHOULD TOTALLY COME WITH US!! WE'RE ALL GOING!! SANEMI'S EVEN TAKING HIS LITTLE SIBLINGS!!" 

A Christmas fair? That actually sounded really fun, and a good idea! You hadn't really had much time for fun between posing for Tengen all weekends, working and attending class(or bugging Murata for extra notes when you couldn't attend) all weekdays, finishing up your long list of Christmas shopping (finally got Murata a comic you knew he'd love and your aunt some incense she'd enjoy), doing chores, and paying bills- You hadn't had much time for fun. It always seemed like that things became much more busy during the holidays. 

"That actually sounds rather delightful," Gyomei added with a nod of his head and a smile on his face. "It could be rather fun to experience, and it has been a while since I was able to experience a performance. I haven't heard anything since I attended that Kabuki show with Kyojuro and his family."

Mitsuri again squealed. "You'll love it! You won't believe it but I got the star role in playing Claire!" You were somehow not surprised by that at all. You were sure Mitsuri was a great dancer! "Although Obi was a little mean towards the guy who's playing the Nutcracker Prince."

Your brows rose. "Isn't the Nutcracker Prince supposed to be Claire's love interest?" 

"Yeah. Why?"

OH. You think you had an idea for why he might've been upset making you chuckle. "Well it sounds like he's a little bit protective of you because you're going to be playing the actor's love interest."

She gasped covering her mouth. "Oh my gosh! I never thought of that! Oh no. It must've made him so upset when I told him."

"Im sure he's absolutely proud of you. Sometimes guys just get a little overprotective is all. Where is he anyways?"

Mitsuri pointed over towards a table. You turned and sure enough there was the black haired man sitting at the farthest corner table in the cafe. He was probably waiting for Mitsuri to get off work. At the moment Iguro was just reading a book and sipping what look like tea by poking the straw under his face mask. 

"Over there! Oh. Did you guys wanna order something?"

"Um yeah." You turned to your boyfriend. "Could you just get me my usual real quick? I'll be right back."

"But of course." 

With one last smile to him you slowly turned and detached yourself from them. With a few steps you approached the man whom was eagerly keeping to himself and reading the book he held in his hands. Not just any book. It was a chemistry textbook. Oh. He must've been getting some studying in before Christmas break. Smart. He didn't react to you at first when you stood next to his table too engrossed in his book.

"Hi, Obanai." His reaction was to immediately snap his eyes up and blink in surprise with a hum as you smiled at him. "Mitsuri said you were over here. I thought I should at least come over and say hi."

"...Oh." He slowly blinked mitch matched eyes at you. "Hello." He greeted you simply before slowly shifting back silently to his book. 

Ok. A little awkward but he wasn't being rude to you. F/c orbs glanced over the teacup with a straw strangely poking out of it. He must drink like that often to avoid removing his mask. "Aren't you hungry? You must've been sitting in class all day."

Again he briefly glanced up at you. "I'm fine. I never did have a big appetite anyways."

"Understandable but there's a fine line between not hungry and not eating."...His head fully looked up at you this time. "You never really ate anything you took whenever I saw you. You've only ever given it to Mitsuri feeding her more food. I've noticed Shinobu skipping meals too. It's not healthy."

"And why would that be any of your concern?" His eyes narrowed his a suspicious look directed at you.

"It's not and I'm not trying to butt into your private business." Obanai blinked as you literally placed the Tupperware container in front of him causing him to lift his book jumping as you did. "Here. Try this. Just return the container when you can."

Yellow-green eyes stared down at the tupperware still comically holding up his textbook like his tea had suddenly spilt on the table. He blinked before narrowing his eyes at it, then at you, then back to the tupperware, then back to you suspiciously. "What's that?"

"It's tororo kombu." His brows rose up so quickly that you thought they might've launched off his face as you gestured towards the braided haired woman talking to your boyfriend. "Mitsuri mentioned that it was your favorite food and I felt bad that I didn't talk to you more often." You bowed to him making him stare at you. "Im so sorry for forgetting about you, Obanai. I'll make an effort to talk to you more."

He didn't say anything at first just staring at you as you slowly stood back up like he had suddenly seen a ghost. "Uh-....................Ok?"

You smiled at him brightly. "Im so glad. Mitsuri showed me some pictures of your snake! It's a really beautiful snake. What breed is he?"

"Rat...snake?"

"He's beautiful. By how shiny his scales are it's obvious you take very good care of him. He's very s-"

"Don't insult me by calling him slimy looking."

"Actually that's a common mistake people have about snakes. They're not slimy, they're scales are actually really smooth feeling."

The look he gave you was one you couldn't pinpoint. It was mostly blank as you both stared at one another before you noticed a movement from him. Or rather something else under his thick scarf. His thick scarf moved here and there pushing up like someone was under it moving around. It wasn't until something pushed through the folds did you know who it was. Or what it was.

A small white head poked itself out from under the scarf and cutely settled itself under Obanai's chin. It's red slitted eyes slowly blinked at you as a little formed tongue stuck itself out quickly making you freeze up.

"Oh my gods." Your eyes widened as the snake stared directly into your soul- "He's so cute!!"

"......What? AH?!"

OBANAI dropped his book to the table with a clatter and freezing as you suddenly leaned towards him. A gushing tone and an awed expression on your face. 

"Look at him! He's all cuddled up in your scarf like a blanket poking his head out! Aw! You're such a cute wittle guy aren't you?," you cooed at the snake that did nothing but stay huddled up and flick his tongue out again. "Do you just carry him everywhere?! That's so adorable!!"

"I-" He sputtered some other noises that might've been words but you couldn't tell from his shocked phase. "You're not....scared?"

"Why would I be scared of something so cute? You might want to keep him hidden though. The only animals allowed on campus are service animals." He froze more as you gently reached out to pull up his scarf more to better cover the cutie pie peeping lazily at you. "There. That outta keep him warm-"

"Y/n." You turned to Gyomei holding your drink with Mitsuri bouncing towards her boyfriend. 

"Coming! It was nice to see you again, Iguro. If the food doesn't taste good let me know and I'll make you something else. Ok?" 

He didn't get a chance to respond when you walked away from him, exchanged some words with Mitsuri promising to come see her show, and then walked away to allow her to go talk to her frozen boyfriend whom was staring straight ahead like he saw a ghost and his hand clutched the front of his sweater. She practically gushed over him as she squealed.

"Obi, guess what?! Y/n's coming to see me perform on Christmas. Isn't that great?!" ....She blinked when she didn't get a response noticing his tense form. "Obi?" She waved a hand in front of his frozen wide eyed face. "Baby, are you ok?"

"........I think I was just in the twilight zone."

[dynared]

Found this online (the name has been withheld to protect the innocent…and the correct from harassment) and damn if it ain’t true.

Apparently an Earthspark writer confessed to wanting to ape Brave Police J-Decker wholesale but at the same time getting rid of all the elements that made J-Decker “problematic” like super modes, heroic police, and a six-changing ninja, which was based on Sixshot’s original mode, so you’d figure that would be a perfect place for a reformed Sixshot or Sixknight.

You can kind of see the outward similarities with characters with the alterations done to be “less problematic”, like Thrash feeling like an incomplete GunMax, both personality and fighting wise.

Same with the idea of a rival to Twitch/J-Decker. Spitfire is there, but the characters are such nothing burgers that any rivalry feels trite and unimportant. And of course, with writers like Mae Catt on board, super modes are for weebs and will not pollute our wholesome character based story.

This might be why kids found the show so boring. It was an imitation of HALF of a good show. IDW-styled resentment of Japan strikes again.

[countdykulaa]

﹟ ⠀ ⠀ 𝟎𝟎𝟏 ⠀ . ⠀ ⠀ LOVE GROWS (WHERE MY ROSEMARY GOES)⠀ ⠀ ﹕ ⠀ ⠀ ❪ ⠀ babygay! reader x emotionally unavailable! ellie ⠀ ❫

cw : light smut , body image issues , switch!reader x sub! ellie

you meet ellie one drunken night at a random burger joint. your friends had decided to spend the whole day drinking and you being the designated lightweight was the happiest of the trio. your beads jingle with each drunken sway , a cheery smile decorating your features when you turn to place your order. you lock eyes with her , yours joyous and celebratory while hers remain sunken in a nonchalant annoyance and a switch in your drunken brain orders you to make her yours. your usual seductive cadence imitates a drunk horse as you gait to the counter. you repeat the chosen order , money in hand , intending to pass it over to ellie , only for you to lose your balance and push the money over the counter. somehow even after that flounder , she still gives you her number on your way out.

the first date is nothing short of a disaster. you arrive two minutes late, the apology dying from your lips when you see the other girl no where to be found. your text messages go answered , lips pursing as you wait for a response. five minutes go by before you call your friend abby, she tells you to wait ten minutes then leave. you wait fifteen. she arrives as you’re leaving, rushing an apology out and begging you to stay, promising it’ll never happen again. it does. again and again. and you get rightfully angry . again and again. all tension is usually cut through with humour , shallow conversation about overtly dramatized versions of yourselves being the star of the show. you prove your point by causing a scene at 6 am , demanding to know why she didn’t call you after 2pm the last day. you think that after that scene she’d take off running. she doesn’t. and you can’t fathom why.

you find that ellie is loud with pda where you are still hesitant. a hand is placed at the small of your back at all times , a kiss pressed to your forehead on random occasions. it scares you at first , to be liked so boldly. much too used to the secret advances shared by your “straight” friends . slowly , you start getting so used to it that you find yourself actively seeking her gentle touch.

each time she kisses you , you feel alive . hands gently moving down your moss green dress in a way so sensual , you can’t help the wetness between your legs that she expertly avoids. a way of teasing you , drawing out the control she knows you wish to exert . you respond to her advances , manicured hands shoving her on the couch and climbing on top of her . her skinnier frame shadowed by your curves.

hands desperately grab at the hem of your dress , pulling it over your head . each touch on your skin burns you , a shiver cascading down your back. her hands roam your now bare frame , a rogue hand cupping your right breast and eliciting a small gasp from you as you push your body into her eager hands. pruriency becomes you. patience is but a mystery as you grab her hand glued to your hand and move it to your sex. the next gasp you let out is louder. you buck your hips , eager to chase the feeling . your free hand grips the back of her neck and pushes her head towards your neck . the whimper she emits only spurges you on .

her mouth ducks down to kiss the side of your neck , her hips jutting up with each buck of your own. if it weren’t for the tracksuit pants covering her legs , you would’ve been able to feel the wetness gushing down her thigh.

she tells you you look beautiful as if it were the air she needed to breathe . each glance at your features seem to reaffirm her claims and revive her with a vigor . you thank her … bashful the first two times , but by the hundredth declaration you start to wonder if that’s all you’ll ever be to her. or anyone.

PLUTO SPEAKS : that was my first time writing smut so you guys are legally required to be nice to me

[sweethoneyrose83]

Murder Drones Recipe Ideas

1. Nori-Byte Bites

Ingredients: Sushi rice, nori (seaweed), avocado, imitation crab, sesame seeds, soy sauce

Inspiration: These mini sushi bites are designed to resemble small, compact "bytes" of data or power packs that Murder Drones might consume. The nori wraps give them a dark, sleek look.

Presentation: Shape into perfect squares or cubes for a robotic, mechanical feel. Top with small sesame seeds to resemble tiny data points or circuits.

2. Blackout Burgers

Ingredients: Black brioche buns, beef patties (or plant-based patties), cheddar cheese, grilled onions, lettuce, tomato, spicy aioli

Inspiration: A sleek, dark burger to mimic the ominous atmosphere of the Murder Drones universe.

Presentation: Serve with a side of fries shaped into jagged "energy" strips, and top the burger with a glowing-red ketchup swirl or spicy sauce to resemble glowing drone eyes.

3. Nano-Wire Noodles

Ingredients: Squid ink pasta, garlic, olive oil, chili flakes, shrimp or tofu

Inspiration: These dark, tangled noodles resemble high-tech cables or wires, giving a mechanical yet sleek vibe.

Presentation: Plate in a swirling pattern, and garnish with red chili flakes to resemble scattered debris from drone battles.

4. Plasma Punch

Ingredients: Blue curaçao, lemonade, sparkling water, edible glitter

Inspiration: A futuristic, glowing blue drink to resemble the plasma energy drones might use to power themselves.

Presentation: Serve in a clear glass with glowing ice cubes (LED-embedded ice cubes for an extra cool effect) and a sprinkling of edible glitter to give it a radiant, tech-like shine.

5. Techno Tarts

Ingredients: Puff pastry, dark chocolate, red raspberry filling, powdered sugar

Inspiration: These tart-like pastries resemble hard, metallic exteriors with dark, sinister cores, perfect for a Murder Drone-themed treat.

Presentation: Cut the pastries into geometric shapes like triangles or hexagons, drizzling with raspberry sauce for a blood-like appearance. Dust lightly with powdered sugar to create a contrast between dark and light.

6. Circuit Board Cookies

Ingredients: Black cocoa sugar cookies, green royal icing, edible silver pearls

Inspiration: Decorate these cookies to resemble circuit boards or robotic components.

Presentation: Use a piping bag to create intricate green icing patterns mimicking circuits, adding silver pearls as connectors or "nodes" on the board.

7. "Oil and Gears" Spaghetti

Ingredients: Squid ink pasta (for that oily, dark look), ground beef or plant-based meat, black olives, and diced sun-dried tomatoes.

Instructions:

Cook squid ink pasta to give a "mechanical oil" effect.

Sauté ground beef or plant-based meat with garlic, sun-dried tomatoes, and olives for a savory, rich sauce.

Serve the pasta with the sauce and garnish with shaved parmesan resembling "metal shavings."

8. "Blood Battery" Smoothie

Ingredients: Mixed berries (strawberries, raspberries, blueberries), coconut milk, and chia seeds.

Instructions:

Blend berries and coconut milk into a deep red smoothie that looks like a "battery fluid" but tastes delicious.

Add chia seeds for texture, mimicking the look of tiny bits of circuitry.

9. "Broken Drone" Nachos

Ingredients: Black tortilla chips, queso, shredded chicken or beef, jalapeños, and avocado.

Instructions:

Scatter black tortilla chips on a baking sheet like "broken drone parts."

Layer with queso, shredded chicken, and jalapeños, and bake until melted and crispy.

Add chunks of avocado to represent the "core systems."

10. "Circuit Board" Pizza

Ingredients: Flatbread, pesto, mozzarella, black olives, cherry tomatoes, and basil.

Instructions:

Spread pesto on the flatbread as the "circuit board."

Arrange mozzarella slices to look like "wiring" and use olives and tomatoes as "buttons" or "nodes."

Bake until cheese is bubbly and garnish with basil leaves for extra "green circuits."

11. "Metallic Heart" Chocolate Truffles

Ingredients: Dark chocolate, heavy cream, and edible metallic luster dust.

Instructions:

Make classic chocolate truffles by melting dark chocolate and mixing with cream to form the ganache.

Shape into hearts and coat with edible metallic luster dust for a shiny, "robotic heart" look.

12. "Battery Acid" Lemonade

Ingredients: Lemon juice, blue curacao, club soda, and ice.

Instructions:

Mix lemon juice and blue curacao for a sour yet strikingly electric blue drink.

Add club soda for some fizz, and serve over ice in clear glasses to resemble "battery acid."

13. "Rust and Decay" Brownies

Ingredients: Dark chocolate brownie mix, cocoa powder, and red food coloring.

Instructions:

Bake brownies using dark chocolate mix.

Add red food coloring to some cocoa powder and sprinkle over the top of the cooled brownies to create the appearance of "rusty decay."

14. Drone Eye Cake Pops

Ingredients:

Cake mix (flavor of your choice)

White chocolate coating

Red candy melts

Candy eyes

Black gel icing

Instructions:

Bake the cake and crumble it into fine crumbs.

Mix the crumbs with frosting to form dough and shape into small balls.

Dip the cake balls in melted white chocolate and let them set.

Drizzle red candy melts to create a "bloody" effect and add candy eyes.

Use black gel icing to add details.

Inspiration: These represent the "eyes" of the drones, with the red candy melt resembling their bloodthirsty tendencies.

15. Oil Spill Ice Cream Sundae

Ingredients:

Chocolate ice cream

Oreo crumbs

Black syrup (chocolate or black food coloring)

Silver sprinkles

Instructions:

Scoop chocolate ice cream into bowls.

Top with crushed Oreo crumbs for a crunchy, "oil spill" effect.

Drizzle black syrup to make it look like spilled oil.

Sprinkle with silver sprinkles for a robotic touch.

Inspiration: A dark and delicious treat inspired by the idea of oil spills and machinery gone wrong in the Murder Drones universe.

16. Blood Orange Sparkling Punch

Ingredients:

4 cups of blood orange juice

1 cup cranberry juice

2 cups sparkling water

Fresh rosemary for garnish

Instructions:

Mix the blood orange juice and cranberry juice.

Add the sparkling water to give it a bubbly effect.

Garnish with fresh rosemary for an eerie, metallic touch.

Inspiration: The punch represents the "oil" or "fuel" that robots might run on, with the blood orange juice symbolizing the dark, ominous mood of the Murder Drones world.

[boatboysrowout]

my dear friend is distressed about the lack of martyn fics so although i am not clever enough to write martyn inthelittlewood i can offer you some situations i propose he be put in:

- overworked volunteer at an animal shelter. his favorite animal is a giant german shepherd named ren who never leaves him alone. his least favorite animal is a bird named grian who does nothing but imitate human screams and bite.

- amateur comedian. he does stand up every tuesday night and the instant he gets heckled he gets super defensive and starts saying shit like ‘you people don’t understand true comedy’ and ‘you’re just jealous you’re not on my level’ and ‘ren said i’m hilarious screw all of you’

- firefighter. he spends 90% of his shifts chasing down and extinguishing a very handsome man who has the unfortunate habit of setting himself on fire to prove his passion. no one asks him to do this. martyn is very distressed by this. etho and bdubs think it is hysterical that martyn hasnt noticed this only ever happens while he’s on duty.

- renaissance fair employee. i think its obvious where im going with this so instead of the obvious he gets way too into the roleplay and almost commits first degree murder bc someone cut in front of ren in line to get a funnel cake ill talk instead about how there’s a pirate themed booth for some reason at the renaissance fair and martyn hates it bc of the historical inaccuracy and also bc he is convinced joel and etho set his and ren’s tent on fire on purpose.

- burger king employee. there is a mcdonalds across the street and they hate each other’s guts. one day grian breaks in while scar is distracting ren and martyn and smashes their ice cream machine with a baseball bat bc martyn made one too many jokes about their ice cream machine always being broken. martyn’s manager ren takes this personally, dubs himself the burger king, puts on the shitty cardboard crown and declares war on the mcdonalds. by the end of the week every single employee of the burger king and the mcdonalds have been fired and their story is featured on national news.

update: that last one is now written. you’re welcome/i’m so sorry

[fortunatelyandrogynousheart]

Shadow Company Headcanons 4

-Phillip Graves does not tolerate bullies. Found out one of the Shadows was being bullied by a colleague and that colleague mysteriously resigned from Shadow Company.

-Graves is an avid Luke Brian fan. Gets drunk and starts dancing and singing along. Mostly to Country Girl (Shake It For Me.)

-Oddly good at mechanical bull riding. His hips barely budge. His record is a minute before he got bored and hopped off himself.

-Only drinks sparkling water and coffee. His Shadows don't know how he's alive and in such good shape.

-Takes good care of his skin, and encourages his Shadows to do the same. They need lotion? He has fourteen bottles for a reason. They need to relax and moisturize? He has a mask for that. Soft hands. No I will not explain.

-Wears a really woodsy, cowboy-esque cologne. I'm thinking pine or cedar mixed with a minty scent.

-Has the most rocking shower routine ever.

-Would probably enjoy forehead kisses. Will never admit it.

-Some of his Shadows hate it, but he blares country music whenever any foreign team comes to visit and feeds them burgers. Thinks it's hilarious to be aggressively American.

-Southern gentleman. Always holding doors, being polite (despite being the conniving little bastard he really is.)

-Makes fun of British people on TV. Tries to imitate them but ends up creating something that doesn't even sound like English.

-Favorite thing to do is to pretend like he straight-up is the Shadows father. Dropped one of his Shadows off at a volleyball game (it was for fun and old time's sake)

-Hates popcorn. No one knows why.

-Really likes expensive wines. Makes him feel fancy. And he thinks the bottles are pretty.

-Walks around in a shirt that's buttoned just a little too low on off days. Gets stares. Is very satisfied knowing he's still got it.

-Absolutely adores babies. You can't tell me he doesn't. He'll hold one of his Shadow's babies and be cooing at it all sweet.

"Hi there, darlin'... ain't you just the sweetest little thing?"

And his voice will get all soft if the baby falls asleep in his arms. Has babysat for his Shadows. Will do it again.

-One of the Shadows made Graves a godfather for their daughter and Graves went back to his room and cried.

-Sometimes, if it's a visit day, Graves will be swarmed with kids, ranging from just barely walking to college aged, greeting him with bright smiles and excited voices. They all grew up knowing who he was.

-Got extra cocky the day he spotted his first grey hair. "Damn, I look good even if I'm going silver." (He won't call them greys, uses silvers because he likes it better.)

---------------------------------------------------

I love, love, love when you guys add your thoughts under reblogs! It warms my heart to read them. Thank you for the love <33

[psychedelic-charm]

Murder Drones Recipe Ideas

1. Nori-Byte Bites

Ingredients: Sushi rice, nori (seaweed), avocado, imitation crab, sesame seeds, soy sauce

Inspiration: These mini sushi bites are designed to resemble small, compact "bytes" of data or power packs that Murder Drones might consume. The nori wraps give them a dark, sleek look.

Presentation: Shape into perfect squares or cubes for a robotic, mechanical feel. Top with small sesame seeds to resemble tiny data points or circuits.

2. Blackout Burgers

Ingredients: Black brioche buns, beef patties (or plant-based patties), cheddar cheese, grilled onions, lettuce, tomato, spicy aioli

Inspiration: A sleek, dark burger to mimic the ominous atmosphere of the Murder Drones universe.

Presentation: Serve with a side of fries shaped into jagged "energy" strips, and top the burger with a glowing-red ketchup swirl or spicy sauce to resemble glowing drone eyes.

3. Nano-Wire Noodles

Ingredients: Squid ink pasta, garlic, olive oil, chili flakes, shrimp or tofu

Inspiration: These dark, tangled noodles resemble high-tech cables or wires, giving a mechanical yet sleek vibe.

Presentation: Plate in a swirling pattern, and garnish with red chili flakes to resemble scattered debris from drone battles.

4. Plasma Punch

Ingredients: Blue curaçao, lemonade, sparkling water, edible glitter

Inspiration: A futuristic, glowing blue drink to resemble the plasma energy drones might use to power themselves.

Presentation: Serve in a clear glass with glowing ice cubes (LED-embedded ice cubes for an extra cool effect) and a sprinkling of edible glitter to give it a radiant, tech-like shine.

5. Techno Tarts

Ingredients: Puff pastry, dark chocolate, red raspberry filling, powdered sugar

Inspiration: These tart-like pastries resemble hard, metallic exteriors with dark, sinister cores, perfect for a Murder Drone-themed treat.

Presentation: Cut the pastries into geometric shapes like triangles or hexagons, drizzling with raspberry sauce for a blood-like appearance. Dust lightly with powdered sugar to create a contrast between dark and light.

6. Circuit Board Cookies

Ingredients: Black cocoa sugar cookies, green royal icing, edible silver pearls

Inspiration: Decorate these cookies to resemble circuit boards or robotic components.

Presentation: Use a piping bag to create intricate green icing patterns mimicking circuits, adding silver pearls as connectors or "nodes" on the board.

7. "Oil and Gears" Spaghetti

Ingredients: Squid ink pasta (for that oily, dark look), ground beef or plant-based meat, black olives, and diced sun-dried tomatoes.

Instructions:

Cook squid ink pasta to give a "mechanical oil" effect.

Sauté ground beef or plant-based meat with garlic, sun-dried tomatoes, and olives for a savory, rich sauce.

Serve the pasta with the sauce and garnish with shaved parmesan resembling "metal shavings."

8. "Blood Battery" Smoothie

Ingredients: Mixed berries (strawberries, raspberries, blueberries), coconut milk, and chia seeds.

Instructions:

Blend berries and coconut milk into a deep red smoothie that looks like a "battery fluid" but tastes delicious.

Add chia seeds for texture, mimicking the look of tiny bits of circuitry.

9. "Broken Drone" Nachos

Ingredients: Black tortilla chips, queso, shredded chicken or beef, jalapeños, and avocado.

Instructions:

Scatter black tortilla chips on a baking sheet like "broken drone parts."

Layer with queso, shredded chicken, and jalapeños, and bake until melted and crispy.

Add chunks of avocado to represent the "core systems."

10. "Circuit Board" Pizza

Ingredients: Flatbread, pesto, mozzarella, black olives, cherry tomatoes, and basil.

Instructions:

Spread pesto on the flatbread as the "circuit board."

Arrange mozzarella slices to look like "wiring" and use olives and tomatoes as "buttons" or "nodes."

Bake until cheese is bubbly and garnish with basil leaves for extra "green circuits."

11. "Metallic Heart" Chocolate Truffles

Ingredients: Dark chocolate, heavy cream, and edible metallic luster dust.

Instructions:

Make classic chocolate truffles by melting dark chocolate and mixing with cream to form the ganache.

Shape into hearts and coat with edible metallic luster dust for a shiny, "robotic heart" look.

12. "Battery Acid" Lemonade

Ingredients: Lemon juice, blue curacao, club soda, and ice.

Instructions:

Mix lemon juice and blue curacao for a sour yet strikingly electric blue drink.

Add club soda for some fizz, and serve over ice in clear glasses to resemble "battery acid."

13. "Rust and Decay" Brownies

Ingredients: Dark chocolate brownie mix, cocoa powder, and red food coloring.

Instructions:

Bake brownies using dark chocolate mix.

Add red food coloring to some cocoa powder and sprinkle over the top of the cooled brownies to create the appearance of "rusty decay."

14. Drone Eye Cake Pops

Ingredients:

Cake mix (flavor of your choice)

White chocolate coating

Red candy melts

Candy eyes

Black gel icing

Instructions:

Bake the cake and crumble it into fine crumbs.

Mix the crumbs with frosting to form dough and shape into small balls.

Dip the cake balls in melted white chocolate and let them set.

Drizzle red candy melts to create a "bloody" effect and add candy eyes.

Use black gel icing to add details.

Inspiration: These represent the "eyes" of the drones, with the red candy melt resembling their bloodthirsty tendencies.

15. Oil Spill Ice Cream Sundae

Ingredients:

Chocolate ice cream

Oreo crumbs

Black syrup (chocolate or black food coloring)

Silver sprinkles

Instructions:

Scoop chocolate ice cream into bowls.

Top with crushed Oreo crumbs for a crunchy, "oil spill" effect.

Drizzle black syrup to make it look like spilled oil.

Sprinkle with silver sprinkles for a robotic touch.

Inspiration: A dark and delicious treat inspired by the idea of oil spills and machinery gone wrong in the Murder Drones universe.

16. Blood Orange Sparkling Punch

Ingredients:

4 cups of blood orange juice

1 cup cranberry juice

2 cups sparkling water

Fresh rosemary for garnish

Instructions:

Mix the blood orange juice and cranberry juice.

Add the sparkling water to give it a bubbly effect.

Garnish with fresh rosemary for an eerie, metallic touch.

Inspiration: The punch represents the "oil" or "fuel" that robots might run on, with the blood orange juice symbolizing the dark, ominous mood of the Murder Drones world.