#bully bruno

[citronlad]

Petsmart au 🐩

[lethal-amigos]

something I'm working on for Bruno interaction.

[weirdagnes]

oh god oh my god i am not made to survive this i cant. pepa and bruno being bestjes then them drifitng apart oh gos

[nerdiel-has-no-braincells]

Idk why every time I see him I just get that valley girl flirty voice and just

OMG GOJO TWIRLS HAIR GIGGLING

[fiannans]

If I had a dollar for every time I loved a cute science nerd sidekick who’s violently hated by a large, vocal section of the fandom for the crime of having feelings for the main character, I’d have two dollars. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.

[actress4him]

The Shadow of Death - Highschool AU - New Kid

I actually wrote this piece quite a long time ago, but felt awkward at the time about posting teenage whump. Since then I've realized that there's quite a few people out there who don't mind it, and I do love this au, so here I am posting it.

Shoutout to @painful-pooch my love who owns Bruno and comes up with most of his dialogue and actions for these pieces

Brumaria taglist: @sssunshinebreeze

Contains: lady whump, minor (teen) whump, abusive parent, starvation, neglect, physical abuse, bullying, passing out, duct tape, prejudice, panic, foster care mention

“Alright everybody, pipe down. That means you, Hannah. Seriously. Stop talking. Do we need to go through this again?

“Okay guys, we have a new student today, go ahead and introduce yourself.”

Kamaria glances up from her notes long enough to take in the brown hair, the black eye, and the letterman jacket, then lets her frizzy curls fall back over her face.

“Bruno Skovgaard.” The name is mumbled so quietly it barely reaches her desk in the very back of the room. Not what she expected from a high school athlete, but it hardly registers, anyway. She’s too busy trying to make sense of the scientific jargon squeezed onto every millimeter of her notebook page to bother with yet another guy who will either ignore her or bully her.

It momentarily slips her mind that the only available desk in the room is the one next to hers, until said guy plops down into it. She can’t see him past her curtain of hair, though. If she’s lucky, he’ll take that as the sign to leave her alone that it is. 

He doesn’t. No surprise there, she’s never been lucky a day in her life. “Hi. I’m Bruno, what’s your name?”

The teacher has started into her lesson, but Kamaria keeps reading, eyes scanning the notes again and again as if it will all make sense if she goes over it enough times. She needs that much more than she needs to listen in this particular class. They’re covering the Civil War, and she already learned all of this in her last school. 

“Hey. Curls. What’s your name?”

Acicular, asymmetrical, cordate, cuneiform, deltoid… they’re leaf shapes, she knows they are, but she can’t call to mind what any of them actually look like. If she actually had room in her notebook, like she should, then she could have made real, decent notes that had sketches and details. But no, she’s stuck cramming everything in as tightly as possible because her notebook is almost full and her father refuses to buy her a new one. Maybe this weekend she can find some time to go back and erase the things she knows she won’t need again at this school, as much as it makes her cringe. 

“Is she deaf?” 

“Nope. Just a freak.”

Good, he knows now, maybe he’ll stop trying to talk to her.

Acicular, asymmetrical, cordate, cuneiform, deltoid…

Something slides onto her desk, and she jolts, head coming up to stare at first the object - a small, plastic package of two food items she can’t immediately identify - then the perpetrator. A smile spreads over his face. He holds up his own plastic package as if toasting her.

Kamaria’s confused stare turns into a scowl. What is it that he hopes to accomplish, giving snacks to a random stranger? Is he trying to buy favors? Poison her? Get her in trouble? Prove that he’s rich? The private school letterman jacket he’s wearing is proof enough of that. Why he’s now slumming in the public school, she doesn’t know or care. 

Turning the scowl on the snack - according to the picture on the front, some brown sticks that barely look edible and a pile of dark brown goop - she pushes it to the corner of her desk with her pencil eraser and returns her attention to her notes. She can hear him opening the plastic and beginning to munch, much to her aggravation.

Maybe she should work on math, instead. She’s hopelessly behind in that class, too.

When the bell rings, much too soon for Kamaria’s liking, she takes her time standing and stuffing her notebook back into her ratty purple backpack. There’s no need to run out into the halls with everyone else, she’d rather spend a bit more time in the relative quiet of the classroom and miss the worst part of the rush. 

Unfortunately, new guy is lingering, too. “Hey, do you know where Mr. Miller’s class is? English?”

Good, he’s not going to be in her next class. Why he’s insisting on asking her of all people, she has no idea. She shakes her head, tugging at the zipper and praying that this isn’t the time it breaks completely. 

“Hm. Guess I’ll have to ask the teacher.” He just stands there, though, watching her. “Do you not like Nutella?”

It takes her a second to realize he must be referring to the snack. She wrinkles her nose, glancing over at it, thinking about continuing to ignore him but letting her curiosity get the better of her. “What is it?”

“You’ve never had Nutella?” He says it as if this is the most shocking news of the decade. “It’s the most incredible spread ever. Chocolate hazelnut. Okay, I know I’m a stranger, but all you have to do is open the packet, take one of the sticks and dip it in the Nutella. It’s like…chocolate peanut butter. It’s so good.”

He’s so worked up over this little snack. Some…frivolous junk food. There has to be some reason that he’s so keen on her eating it, but she can’t figure out what it might be.

Thankfully, the teacher calls him up front, and she’s finally left alone. She finishes zipping her backpack, ready to sling it over her shoulder, but stops to stare at the Nutella one more time. She doesn’t get it. But it probably isn’t poisoned, and it’s food, tiny and frivolous as it may be. 

Snatching it off the desk, she stuffs it in the front pocket of her bag before heading to her next class.

.

.

Turns out her father still hasn’t put any more money in her lunch account, so the packet of Nutella and what are labeled ‘breadsticks’ is the only thing she has to eat. It’s…pretty good, actually. Nowhere near filling, but since there also wasn’t any food in the house for breakfast, she’ll take what she can get. It might have to hold her over for quite a while. 

Also turns out that the new guy is in another of her classes, math, but thankfully there isn’t an empty desk next to her this time. She can’t handle him distracting her with his stupid questions in that class, she’s failing as it is.

When school is over, she happens to look over and see him climbing into the passenger seat of some swanky, brand new car. She can just imagine his parent or whoever is driving him looking down their nose at the primitive surroundings, asking him if he managed to learn anything at all in such a place. 

Rolling her eyes, she climbs onto the bus, clutching her backpack to her chest as if it can protect her from the hateful words thrown her way throughout the ride. No one sits next to her or pulls her hair from behind, so it’s a good trip, overall.

The first thing she notices when she walks up to the house is that Roderick is over. It stops her in her tracks, heart pounding a little too fast. Everything in her aches to turn around and walk the other direction, to keep on walking until she’s too far away for anyone to find her. But she forces herself forward, up the steps and through the door.

The second thing she notices is the smell of fast food permeating the air. Her stomach simultaneously sinks and lurches, wanting whatever it is desperately but also certain now of the answer to whether there’s going to be any dinner for her. If they grabbed food from a restaurant, then there’s no way he also bought groceries. 

She goes to the kitchen to check, anyway, just in case. The cabinets and refrigerator are just as empty as they had been this morning. 

After taking her backpack to her room in the basement, Kamaria works her way through her list of chores. There’s no reason to approach her father until after they’re all done. While she sweeps and mops, she psychs herself up for the conversation. She just needs to ignore Roderick, speak up, and get it over with. This would be much better if he was alone, but it can’t wait.

Once the last of the laundry has been transferred into the dryer, she stands outside his office door, hands trembling slightly as she works up the courage to knock. 

“What?”

Deep breath. “May I…talk to you?”

The door is yanked open, and Roderick smirks down at her. “Look who’s home from school.”

Her father hasn’t even looked up from whatever he’s working on at his desk, but she steps into the room, anyway, purposefully moving away from Roderick. The fast food bag is still sitting on the corner of the desk. She knows there’s nothing left in it.

“Have you done your chores?”

“Yes, sir. All of them.”

He merely grunts in reply and continues working. 

“Sir…is there…anything for me to eat for dinner?”

He looks up, finally, green eyes boring into her. “If you mean this -” he gestures toward the bag -“then no. Roderick picked this up for the two of us.”

She swallows. “I mean at all. There’s nothing in the kitchen.”

Sighing, he turns his attention back to his papers. “Well, then, I suppose that answers your question, doesn’t it?”

Her stomach twists painfully. “There wasn’t anything for breakfast, either.”  

“You ate lunch at school, didn’t you?” Roderick pipes in.

“No.” A defiant tone automatically enters her voice when she talks to him, but she takes another breath and reels it in before continuing, glancing back at her father. “There’s still no money in my account.”

“As you can see, I’m very busy at the moment with much more important things than listening to you complain. You need to get out.”

“I just…” Kamaria clenches her hands into fists. “Could you please give me just a dollar or two, sir? I can walk down to the gas sta-”

“Please shut her up.”

“Gladly.” Roderick’s hand clamps down on the back of her neck and she automatically goes stiff, but allows him to steer her harshly out of the room. She’s shoved into the kitchen, stumbling a few steps before catching herself against the counter. 

“I’m sorry,” she breathes. “I’ll go to my room. You won’t hear another sound out of me the whole night, I promise.”

“Yes, both those things are true.” He yanks open a drawer and pulls out a roll of duct tape. Kamaria’s empty stomach turns a somersault. “But not until I’m done with you.”

“Please…please don’t.” She doesn’t know why she bothers trying. It’s never stopped him before. 

He huffs a laugh. “I don’t think you know how to be quiet. But don’t worry, this will help.”

The sound of the tape ripping from the roll makes her flinch bodily, but she bites down on her tongue and refuses to let the I can be quiet, I swear I will! escape. She doesn’t back away when he comes for her, either, just clenches the edge of the countertop until her knuckles ache and squeezes her eyes shut, allowing him to smooth the tape across her lips. 

He doesn’t stop there, though. He pulls it behind her head, loudly unrolling more and more until it’s wound twice around, tight and unmoving, pulling uncomfortably at her cheeks and plastering her hair to the back of her head. Kamaria just keeps holding on to the counter and gritting her teeth, desperate to keep the tears at bay as long as he’s there.

“Now you may go to your room.” He chucks the roll back into the drawer and slams it shut. “And next time maybe you think twice before interrupting your dad’s work.” 

She nods minutely, prying her hands from the counter so that she can turn to leave, trying not to move her head at all because it feels like she can’t, like her hair or her skin might rip if she does.

“Oh, and kid…” He points at her when she stops, looking at him out of the corner of her eye. “No one takes that off but him or me, got it?”

Another tiny nod. He waves her away, and she continues her slow, careful trek to the basement. It’s only once she’s sitting on her bed in the corner, knees pulled up to her chin, that she allows the tears burning her eyelids to fall. 

She quickly regrets that, though. Even though her nose is uncovered, she can’t open her mouth to gasp in air between sobs, and it feels like she’s suffocating. That feeling only makes her panicked, which makes breathing even harder. Kamaria pounds her fist into the bed. She’s angry at herself - for not being able to get her emotions under control, for doing something so stupid like approaching her father when he and Roderick were working to start with. She knows that’s the worst time. What kind of work they’re doing, she has no idea, but she’s fairly certain by now it isn’t legal. But she knows better than to interrupt it. She was just so hungry.

It’s not like this is the first time or the longest time she’s gone without food, though. This is normal life for her, has been for almost three years now - off and on, at least. Not all of the foster homes let her starve. There was always something else bad about them, though. Even the ones she thought would be good for once ended up bad in the end, if for no other reason than they kicked her out without warning after only a few weeks or months. 

When her actual, biological father showed up out of nowhere and wanted to take her in, she thought those days were over. She thought she’d finally have a real family again for the first time after losing her mom. 

But it’s just as bad here as everywhere else. Especially when Roderick is around. Her father isn’t nearly as cruel, just neglectful and impatient. Yes, he hits her sometimes, but it’s always done out of anger. Roderick is the one who seems to actually enjoy punishing her. 

It takes some time, but she finally gets a hold of herself, scrubbing all the tears away with her sleeve and forcing deep breaths through her nose. She has homework to do, she can’t sit here feeling sorry for herself all night.

Concentrating on school with a deep pit yawning in her center is always difficult. Concentrating on school with duct tape wrapped around her head proves even more of a challenge. It shouldn’t affect anything, really, but it’s distracting, pulling her attention to the discomfort of it over and over again. She keeps wanting to pick at the edge, but doesn’t want to be accused of trying to loosen it. 

There’s a math test tomorrow, though, so studying is a necessity. She stares at the numbers and letters until they’re swimming across the page, jolting out of her misery when the dryer buzzes. The clothes are warm against the chill of the basement. She holds the pile in her lap as she folds and continues to study. 

At one point, strangely, the new guy at school crosses her mind. She wonders how he’s going to do on the test, if he’d been learning the same things in the private school he transferred from or if this is all new for him. 

Someone like him probably has all the luck in the world, though. He’s probably already learned everything and will ace the test, no problem. 

Eventually, she’s so exhausted she can’t stay awake any longer. She falls asleep on top of her covers, algebra book still open next to her and folded clothes sitting neatly at the foot of the bed, despite her empty stomach and despite the tape on her face. 

It doesn’t last, of course. She jerks awake some time later, groaning as she rolls over, clutching her stomach. It hurts. And the tape is suffocating, making her skin crawl, pulling at her hair. She needs it off. Kamaria digs her fingernails into the top edge, panting, half ready to just rip it off and deal with the consequences later. Maybe she could sneak into the kitchen and replace it in the morning before her father can notice. 

But she doesn’t. She’s too afraid of what he or Roderick might do to her. Instead she sits up, scrubs at her eyes with the heels of her hands, and goes back to studying until she can’t stay awake once again. 

Early in the morning, she wakes from another fitful doze to see sunlight streaking through the tiny window at the ceiling. Catapulting up off the bed, she takes the stairs two at a time, but slows enough at the top to open and shut the door quietly. She doesn’t need to get in any more trouble for making too much noise. 

The clock on the stove says it’s just past six. She has no idea what time her father will leave, though, or if he already has. Thankfully, a quick peek out the front window shows his car still in the driveway, and not Roderick’s. 

Kamaria lingers there for a moment, allowing her heart to slow back down, swaying slightly. The abrupt switch from sleep to cardio after very little rest all night is hitting hard. But she gathers herself and heads back to her room, slowly getting dressed for school while keeping an ear out for footsteps upstairs. She skips the shower, not wanting to miss him and unsure what the water would do to the tape, anyway, and gets in a few more minutes of studying before finally going back upstairs with her backpack and shoes on.

It’s getting close to time for the bus to arrive. If he doesn’t come out soon…she’ll have to miss school. She can’t go like this. If she skips, the school will call him, and he’ll be furious when he gets home tonight. But the only other option is to cut the tape off herself. She knows where the scissors are, could take care of it easily. But which would make him angrier? Cutting off the tape, or skipping school? What if he tells Roderick about the tape, and he’s the one to punish her for it, since he was the one to tell her not to take it off?

That would be worse. Missing school has to be the better option. Even though…wait, that means missing the math test, too. She can’t afford to miss the math test, she’s already failing. She doesn’t know what her father would think about her failing a class, he doesn’t seem interested in her education at all other than making sure she goes to school, and that’s probably just so he doesn’t get in trouble with the government. But she doubts he’d like it if she failed. She wouldn’t like it if she failed, not after she’s tried so hard to make it, not when it would give the bullies even more ammo to torment her. 

And somewhere deep inside her, she’s still holding on to the vague, impossible hope that she’ll be able to go to college someday. To study what, she has no idea, but it seems like the best way to get out on her own, to not be stuck with her father trying to force her into his criminal activities or working some minimum wage job in this same town with him.

It’ll never happen. Her grades haven’t been good enough for that since she first went into foster care. But if she fails algebra, it’s definitely not going to happen. 

She’s practically shaking with anxiety, trapped between the two choices and unable to determine which is worse. Her eyes are drawn to the drawer with the scissors inside over and over again, but every inch of her body screams against such deliberate disobedience. Maybe they’ll let her make up the test? There’s a really good chance that she’s going to get a horrible grade on it, anyway, so missing it might not even make that much of a difference.

Of course she could also go and knock on his door, but after last night that seems like the worst idea of all.

Somehow, miraculously, something actually goes right for once and she’s saved from having to choose any of it. Her father’s door opens and he comes down the hall, straight into the kitchen to make himself coffee. As he pulls a mug from the cabinet, he glances over at Kamaria.

She looks at him with wide, pleading eyes over the duct tape, cuts her gaze to the front door in an attempt to convey the urgency of the situation, then gets nervous and stares down at the floor, instead.

“I suppose it’s time for you to leave, and you’d like that off.”

She nods without looking up. 

“Come here.”

His tone offers no room for hesitation. She crosses the room as quickly as possible, stopping a safe distance in front of him.

“Have you learned your lesson?”

Another nod. It’s nerve-racking not to be able to add “sir”, but that’s not really an option.

He sighs as if this whole thing is such an inconvenience to him, reaching into his pocket for his knife. “Fine. Hold still.” 

There’s no need to tell her. She has no desire to be cut with that knife, and every desire for the tape to come off as quickly and easily as possible. Squeezing her eyes shut, she braces herself for the pain, trying to take deep breaths through her nose. 

He isn’t gentle with it at all, of course. Her head is shaken back and forth as he tears through the layers with the knife. After a pause for him to return the knife to his pocket, he grabs onto the torn edge and yanks, hard. It feels like several layers of skin must go with it. Kamaria grits her teeth tightly, trying to hold in the whimper that wants to escape, and wishes that she could tuck her lips in to protect them. It’s no use, though. He rips the tape off of them, then off the other cheek, but leaves the rest hanging from her hair.

“You can deal with the rest.”  He turns back to his coffee.

She’s been dismissed. She retreats across the room, trying not to panic over how she’s going to get the tape out of her already disastrous hair before the bus shows up. There’s no time to go strand by strand or even little sections, so she’s forced to yank at it just as harshly as he had, wincing at the pricks of pain all over her skull. 

A reflection flashes across the ceiling. The bus is here. With one final pull, she removes the last of the tape - and another handful of hair - and quickly wads it up and stuffs it into the pocket of her backpack.

“Thank you, sir,” she murmurs, quietly opening and closing the door before taking off across the yard to catch the bus..

The whole ride is miserable, not that there’s anything new about that. Her face is sticky and raw, her head hurts, she’s exhausted, her stomach is trying to flip itself inside out, and the usual boys on the bus are at their usual games.

“What happened to your face, freak?” 

“You look even worse than usual.” 

“Is that red all over your face your attempt at wearing makeup?”

“Don’t you know, she doesn’t have a mom to teach her how to wear makeup.”

“Even if she did, it wouldn’t help that face.”

Someone pulls her hair, jerking her already tender head back, and she comes so close to turning around and punching him. She can’t, though. It would get blamed solely on her, she’d get detention or suspension, and her father would kill her.

So she sits in silence and does her best to ignore them, just like always. Wishing that she could be like the other kids on the bus who plug in their ear buds and tune out the world, but if her father can’t even be bothered to buy groceries, he’s certainly never going to buy her a phone or ear buds. 

First period passes in a blur. Kamaria finds herself unable to focus on much of anything, much to her chagrin. All she can think about is how hungry she is, and how much she wants to just curl up in bed and never leave…when she’s not completely zoned out, that is. 

She manages to stumble to history class, glad, at least, that it doesn’t matter whether she pays attention in this class or not. She’d lay her head down on her desk if she wasn’t afraid of getting in trouble for it. Instead, she assumes her usual pose of propping her chin on her hand with her hair falling around her face, only with no notebook beneath her this time. 

The new guy strolls in just before the bell sounds, sliding into his seat. “Hey.” He pulls out his book, then leans over toward her. “You ever eat that Nutella? What’d you think?”

She doesn’t answer. 

The class is over far too soon. Kamaria pulls herself out of her stupor, forcing heavy limbs to cooperate so that she can grab her backpack and stand up. As soon as she straightens, though, her vision tunnels. She feels herself falling as if from a distance, and vaguely hears a muffled voice shout, “Whoa!”

Then she’s on the tile floor, staring up at fluorescent lights and the new guy’s face. “Hey, I think she’s back. Can you hear me?”

There’s a clatter of footsteps and the teacher appears above her, too. “Miss Greaves, can you hear us?” she practically shouts. 

It’s not the first time she’s ever passed out. It’s still disorienting, though, and it takes her a moment to realize that her head is resting in the guy’s lap. Immediately she starts trying to push herself up, to get away from him. 

“Don’t try to get up too fast!” he cautions, pressing her shoulder back down with one hand. 

“Don’ touch me,” she mumbles, swatting at his hand. A little louder, she declares, “‘m fine. Sorry. Won’t happen again.”

He pulls away, which would be surprising if she had the brain power to pay any attention to it. “Why are you apologizing for passing out?”

Because she made a commotion. Because people had to stop what they should have been doing to deal with her. And while she knows, logically, that won’t get her punished like at home, it’s an automatic reaction to feel guilty for it. 

She rolls sideways off his legs, and he lets her go with a murmured, “Take it easy.” She’s fairly certain she’s not going to drop again, though, despite feeling like absolute crap. 

“I’m fine,” she repeats. “Gotta get to my next class.”

“No no no.” The teacher wags her finger like Kamaria is a child or a dog. “You’re going to see the nurse, young lady. Mr. Skovgaard, would you mind escorting her there?”

“I can do that.” 

No, seriously? The last thing she needs is the rich kid walking her to the nurse’s station. “I don’t need the nurse or an escort.”

“Don’t be obstinate, Miss Greaves. You have to go see the nurse after an incident like this. Just cooperate and go with him.”

He jumps to his feet and holds out a hand to her, which she ignores, using her desk to pull herself up, instead. The room spins around her once, then settles into place. 

“Thank you, Mr. Skovgaard.”

As they start to leave the room, she can see him roll his eyes, mumbling something under his breath about Skovgaard. 

“You sure you’re okay? You can lean on me if you need to. Or I can carry you.”

She shoots him a sideways glare. “No.” What is this guy’s deal? No one else wants to have anything to do with her unless they’re bullying her. 

He shrugs. “It’s not like you weigh much. Oh by the way, you do know where the nurse’s station is, right? Because I definitely don’t.”

Kamaria just sighs and keeps walking. It isn’t far, and pretty soon she’s sitting on the nurse’s table. The woman looks like she’d rather be anywhere but here - a sentiment she agrees on.

“Did you hit your head when you fell?”

“No,” the new guy pipes in, “she didn’t. She would’ve, but luckily I was standing right there and caught her.”

Great. So that’s why her head was in his lap…and why he said she didn’t weigh much.

“Do you have any other symptoms?”

She shakes her head.

“Did you eat breakfast this morning?”

She looks straight ahead, purposely avoiding eye contact with anyone. “No.”

“Probably a blood sugar drop, then. You should always try to eat a good breakfast in the mornings.” Crossing the room, the nurse opens the door of a freezer. “What flavor do you want?”

Kamaria’s mind blanks on what she could possibly be talking about. She stares at her for a moment, trying to come up with a response, then finally asks, “What?”

The nurse sighs. “What flavor popsicle? It should help get your blood sugar up until you get to lunch.”

Lunch. Right. Which she also won’t be able to eat, because there still won’t be any money in her account. 

She still doesn’t know how to answer the question, even though she knows what the actual question is now. Popsicles. She used to eat those, on occasion, when her mom would splurge. All she can think of is the grape flavor that she didn’t like. Which ones did she like? It’s been so long.

“Um. Orange?” There’s an orange one, right?

The nurse reaches in and tears a plastic package away, thrusting the orange popsicle at her. “Eat this, then you can go.”

Kamaria fumbles with the packaging. “Can’t I go now? I need to be in class.”

“No, you need to eat that first. I’ll give you a note to give to your teacher.” 

She scowls and starts eating, trying her best to bite into the popsicle as soon as she can despite the way it freezes her gums. She’s missing biology. That’s one of the last classes she needs to be missing. Her mind is torn between panic over it, and the memories trying to tug her backwards in time. 

This was her favorite flavor. It tastes like summer afternoons on the front porch with her mom.

“May I have a popsicle?” rich kid asks, practically batting his eyes at the nurse.

“You can go back to class,” she replies sternly, pointing at the door.

He sighs. “Fine. Guess I’ll see you in math class, Curls.”

Why does she have a nickname now? No one since her mom has ever given her a nickname unless it was something insulting, like “freak”.

She gnaws her way through the popsicle, not stopping to let herself enjoy it and potentially get lost in the past, desperately wishing it was something actually filling. It does help her feel a bit more alive, though it’s hard to say how long it will last.

As soon as she’s done, she gets the note from the nurse and rushes through the halls to class, ignoring the stares and barely concealed laughter as she slides into her seat. The guy at the desk beside her leans over and whispers, “Don’t expect me to catch you if you decide to go all damsel in distress again.”

Of course this would become more ammo for people to tease her with.

Leaning over, she opens her backpack to pull out her textbook, but something else catches her eye. In the side pocket, where a water bottle should go, is another packet of Nutella.

[antvnger]

I'll be honest, Anon. I've only seen the movie one time, and that was with my sister and her little boy who is almost three. He only likes the movie for the music, so I mostly watched him dance and try to sing along which was really cute and really really funny. So as far as the plot goes, I know like 5 things.

I do remember they were really crazy and not all super duper like they made themselves appear to the rest of the village. And Mirabel has like a heart of gold despite being bullied from her own family. Like seriously? That's horrible.

[vaugarde]

should i edit castors profile w some info from his parents bc i dont wanna give off the impression that hes not the one who got dealt the worst hand in that entire ordeal

[unproduciblesmackdown]

being alive at the time i gleaned some general elements abt encanto but never actually heard we don't talk about bruno beyond awareness it existed popping off & i think i heard like the title recited off key off rhythm but in a way that indicates speak singing nonetheless lol so upon experiencing it it's like oh but it's the Verses? while the last refrain goes harder but prior to that it's comparatively underwhelming to said verses which feels appropriate like verses / pieces of a larger picture & that a "we don't talk about him" as a disappointing Lid on infinitely richer more characterful & dynamic "but: talking about him" instances. like well personally it'd be like um seven foot frame....anyway besides being able to firsthand go like oh damn Real (the kind of thing you know exists if alive at the time) it's like alright hang on lol. one thing when a core theme is yeah like "is it a refuge if 'especial' vulnerability ultimately gets pushed out rather than made safer" subset like the parties whose even observation of truths (problems) & drawing attention to them is seen as Ruining Things, like if you're painted as Making futures that aren't simply what's desired or reassuring rather than a guidance via just observing & sharing the truth. but then it's like whaddaya mean living in fear of bruno stuttering and stumbling you could always hear him sort of muttering and mumbling lmao like now that's just Association between the Truth Perceiving & Telling behavior & behavior that's just apparently distinctive of the same person. & like Not Accidentally when [what if people were magic] specifics are obviously primarily abt a metaphorical meaning & like, indeed it was made clear like oh this situation isn't Just b/c [boo we hate your prophecies] & that [an Ability that isn't directed towards what anyone Wants / is "weird" even by these magic standards] isn't Coincidentally given to someone who just so happens to already be "weird" in other ways & be set up to have a different perspective & be pushed away due to having the supposed "extra" vulnerability of unmet needs / insufficient support, same as someone who doesn't "correctly" have any kind of magic ability....like yeah banger and also like Oh Yeah Kind Of Devastating re: that metaphorical resonance allowing for like [set the metaphor aside] now hang on with this about this disabled family member lol. misinterpretation to The Ruinerrr / The Problemmm / The Maliciousss etc (i.e. the scapegoatinggg) despite their efforts likely entirely to the contrary. then despite like, efforts aside, Just Existing, always kind of muttering & mumbling like & what of it. & then like oh sorry weird pets. weird [auspicious for adaptable tenacious thriving surviving; either way simply creatures, existing] pets.

truly like As Is The Idea I'm Sure quickly becomes like hands behind back standing at the window Uh Oh Sisters musing on all the [disabled person] metaphorical & already literal elements there. blair witching it in contemplation like We've All Been There whether being so resented for the mere disruption of "existing in a group as the 'abnormal' odd one out" or like people talking shit abt anything associated w/you as soon as you've left the room, which is also made relevant like, this wasn't Only directed at this person when seemingly permanently gone, nor were they unaware / unaffected prior....pacing in the Musing parlor like things don't Have to be compared to billions but i only ever even see so many things & it's like billions sure is like "get scapegoated rword" & then said scapegoating is presented as only beneficial & we hate autists & even beyond that it's like, grabbing billions, Imagine If Things Meant To Be About Something Were About Something. quite a contrast when they are & furthermore like, deliberate thought & Care for [who gets scapegoated & why] & the truth of like, people getting pushed aside & out who have a key perspective & are primed / liable to come through for others similarly vulnerable & the supposedly Ruinous, Problems Generating disruptiveness is actually the strongest effort to make essential changes to a group. & come through with like, it'd be undermining thee point if it was "reassuring" us like oh haha people will be supportive b/c bruno will be more normal, so great that it Didn't like no, no Normality Reassurance(tm), presence of abnormalities(tm), Good, & everyone Can Deal b/c if you don't then it's pushing this person away, is exactly what happens, including even if they're still Around but are being mistreated b/c that is entirely part of that pushing away like anyone's victim blaming is ready to pounce at any time but if someone can't stand to stay / leaves b/c they can't see another option like that's not out of nowhere nor Regardless of what full support & flexibility they were getting lol. these Active Measures everyone loves so much, which are everywhere always & would include Staying & Trying To Make It Work & those efforts would be "disruptive" & resented & Bringing It On Oneself & etccc smh

that is to all say like. Woww when clearly basically the core thread was these beats of like, the crucial site of [thee scapegoated], & why that comes down on someone & how that plays out. endless ideas about how someone weird(tm) & disabled (&/or queer. but there's no Or here lol. & again like it's a Context like, to even be the one person without kids? likely not living up to "full" correct sexuality in that way alone; any oppression's logics of "inferiority" being logics of ableism, ready examples being that "inferior" race, gender, sexuality (& their experiences as people classed as inferior) all being pathologized as disordered) are seen & treated as someone Ruining Things & who cannot belong like whew. bracing. winding. which, i also recall like i was watching with headphones & during this one dialogue pause i was like "?? what's this Extra Sound i heard there" & had to go over it like twice before being hit upside the head like well it Was still the dialogue pause but it was also bruno Stuttering in a very quiet whisper for the duration of that pause before continuing like iiiiiiii x_x

[ugartecoco]

im delirious does ugarte look like a mixture of chiesa and willne

[jirsungs]

NO IDEA ☆ l.dh

pairing: loser!donghyuck x fem!reader

no idea synopsis: a story where both you and lee donghyuck seem to get what you want. he's the perfect pawn in making your ex-boyfriend jealous and the smarty pants tutor helping you pass your math class. donghyuck has it easy too, he's finally able to seek out and experience the world of dating through you, his long-devoted crush and surprisingly enthusiastic tutoring student. but then again, when meaningless tutoring sessions soon evolve into reciprocated feelings, is it really that easy?

genre: college au, nonidol au, fake dating au, social media au (includes written chapters), classmates to friends to lovers, he's a nerd & she's a popular cheerleader (you see where this is going), he fell first but she fell harder trope, kinda based off to all the boys i've loved before, fluff, crack/humor, angst, one-sided pining that turns into mutual pining

warnings: explicit language, unrealistic college partying, talks about family issues (this does NOT reflect any of the idol's families!), yuqi has an ex gf, some alcohol consumption, kys and sexual humor, bullying, hyuck and his buds are mistreated ☹️, hyunjin is a bad bf!!!, cheesy af, unrequited love, bad insults that sound like they're from the 2000s, HELLA miscommunication

no idea playlist: btr's no idea, taylor swift's you belong with me, the vamps + demi lovato's somebody to you, james arthur's can i be him, ariana grande's daydreamin, fitz & the tantrums' out of my league, shawn mendes' treat you better, bruno mars' just the way you are, lonely god's marlboro nights, the 1975's i'm in love with you, sam smith's like i can, arctic monkeys' wanna be yours

author's note: FIRST HYUCK SMAUU! how we feeling 😏 i needed to get this idea out of my system! plus, i love this type of trope, and haechan just fits the nerdy role 😭 I HAD TO! but happy reading :D <3

comment if you wish to be tagged for the story's updates!

profiles: "ncu freaks" + jeno 🤔 | gal pals & two men

intro. #manifestationiskey 🩷

ep 1. but a FAILING?

ep 2. i guess i'm her tutor

ep 3. WHY IS HE ATTRACTIVE

ep 4. COUGH y/n bag him COUGH

ep 5. i know i can treat youuu bettterr

ep 6. YNHYUCK PLOT IS FINALLY SAILING!

ep 7. bro texts with his 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 𝓪𝓵𝓹𝓱𝓪 mode on 🐺👅

ep 8. bro fumbled HARD 🤦‍♂️

ep 9. LET THE BOY LIVE!! HES IN LOVE!!

ep 10. THE HARD LAUNCH GOES CRAZY

ep 11. lemme guess, fake boyfriend responsibilities? (written)

ep 12. jeno got me up... plotting

ep 13. AMAZING fake boyfriend

ep 14.

ep 15.

ep 16.

ep 17.

ep 18.

more to come. . .!

started: 09/06/24 finished:

© JIRSUNGS. ANY TRANSLATIONS/REPOSTS/PUBLISHES OF MY WORKS ON ANY PLATFORM ARE STRICTLY PROHIBITED! ALL COMMENTS, REBLOGS, LIKES, & FEEDBACK ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED! THANK YOU SO MUCH! I LOVE YOU, MWA! <3

[wiser-girl]

Goodnight everyone but SPECIFICALLY the little dog curled up at my feet rn 🥹

[thousand-winters]

Loving how everyone is immediately like "Bruno, why are you half naked?"

[insomniactic-daydream]

Beside You...

Pro Hero Bakugo ♡ Pro Hero Reader

Friends to Lovers

Summary: Bakugo always held victory close to his heart, but he held you closer.

From being kids in the playground, to freshly new homeowners talking about marriage, and til you both took your last breaths with a smile... you were the thing he held closest.

(This is Bruno Mars and Lady Gaga's fault for cooking up Die With A Smile. Had me in my feels.🫠)

TW: ANGST !! and some suggestive writing but no smut. Read at own risk.

Age 6

Bakugo knew from a young age who he's supposed to be. Even as kids change their future occupation to astronauts to doctors, he never had doubt. He was meant to be a hero. He was meant to protect you.

"Hey! Stop pulling my hair it's not funny!"

The young blonde hears your cries from a mile away as two of the older kids from the playground tug your hair and take your toy away.

"Or what? you're just a pathetic weakling who can't even fight back." The two kids laugh as they continue to torment you.

Suddenly, a big explosion was directed at the two bullies sending them flying. Bakugo had never had such perfect precision with his quirk before. It was his first perfect and biggest shots he's had since his quirk manifestation.

"Die you extras! If you even think about bullying her again, I'll blow you to bits!" He barked like a high squeaking chihuahua standing in front of your body that was thrown down from the blast. Safe to say you never saw those bullies again.

"Get up. Your dress is going to get dirty." Bakugo huffs, sounding angry but still holding his hand out with a blush.

Your eyes widen as you take his hand to get up, and you give him a big hug, causing him to be taken aback.

"You're my hero!"

Bakugo never went to the park without you after that. Not if both of your parents wanted to deal with constant crying/yelling from the two of you...

Age 14

After the U.A. exams, you and Bakugo sit in his room as you hold your head in your hands in defeat.

"Stop sulking. You don't even know if you got rejected yet." He says in his usual huff but still holds your hair back.

You mailed your results to his house so you could open it together.

"Easy for you to say. You had the highest points. I swear it took me forever to get one robot when I was too busy saving others from getting mauled by theirs." Y/n sighs as she reflects on the exams.

"I don't know Kats, I think I did better in the Shiketsu exam than I did U.A. I'll probably only be getting the acceptance there." You groan as you wipe some tears from your face.

"Shut up. You don't know shit yet." He said earning a scoff.

"I know I did dog shit at the exam, and that's enough. Sorry to say, but I don't think we'll be in the same class, or even the same school."

"I'll go to Shiketsu then."

You let out an audible laugh before looking at his face, dropping you smile instantly.

"Holy shit. You're serious?" You say before shaking your head. "No, you can't. Your dream is UA. Don't be switching shit up just because of me." You say before turning your body towards him.

"I don't care where I get my license at. I'm still going to be number one. No matter what. Beside can't be training if your ass is getting into trouble the whole other side of town",He said, rolling his eyes as he looked away from your widened gaze.

"Katsuki-," you say before getting cut off.

"Don't make a big deal out of it, princess." He quips, signaling to you that's the end of the discussion. He's going where you go.

Silence falls between the two of you until the sound of a car is heard right after. You both rush to get the letters and begin to open them. Revealing two holograms of All Might congratulating them on their acceptances to Class 1-A.

You grab him and jump up and down from excitement.

"See you idiot. You were overreacting." He says with his usual smirk. You roll your eyes. Maybe you were being a bit dramatic.

"Yeah, but still.." You say before kissing his cheek, causing him to freeze up. You smile at him.

"Thank you for wanting to cheer me up and wanting to stay by me."

His stares at your beautiful smile before looking away.

"Tch. Always, you big baby." He says before pulling you into his arms as you laugh.

Your romantic relationship didn't wait long after that moment.

Age 22

"Last fucking box." Bakugo grunts putting down the box down in the empty living room filled with the rest of the labeled boxes. While your slumped body lays on the couch, you just assembled.

Something about wanting to make the house feel more homey for the time being or procrastination for unpacking Bakugo calls it. Still, he takes the opportunity to lay next to you.

"Why didn't we just keep our apartment." You groan as you look at him. He glares at you.

"You were the one that suggested buying the house in full, princess." He said. They both earned quite a bit the last year and had money to spare.

"Besides, that place was getting too cramped for all our shit. You know this already." He says before grabbing your face as you pout.

"Ugh, but now we have to unpack all of this." You say as he smushes your cheeks. You wrap your arm around him.

You both lean in for a kiss, embracing the comfort of the couch. You both pull away and sit up, looking at all the boxes.

"Cmon, get your ass up and help me unpack." He says, trying to reach for a box before you blurt out.

"Let's get married today."

Just as he thinks you can never surprise him, you say shit like that.

He was planning on marrying you, like hell he would buy a house just for a girlfriend. You were his first and only, no doubt. But he didn't expect how this would play out.

"What?" He says in a shell-shocked tone.

"The court house doesn't close til 9. We still have time to make it over there. So what do you say." Going up to him with a sheepish smile.

"Fuck no." He says to you while you pause, smile dimming while thinking you misinterpreted his goals with you.

"Oh. Okay. Yeah, it was stupid ide - "You say before getting interrupted.

"Fuck that's not what I meant, Babe." He says before grabbing your pulling away figure.

"I wanna marry your ass, but I'm not doing it at a courthouse just because you're trying to avoid moving into our damn house." He says before peppering you with kisses. His grip on you tightening.

"I just needed to make sure that meant moving into a home meant what I thought it meant." You mumble between kisses. Wrapping your arms around his neck.

"Of course it does, dumbass." He says, deepening the kiss as he walks and pulls you down to the couch. Falling into each other's embrace.

It's definitely a creative way of getting comfortable in the new home.

Age 45

"Fucking shit" Bakugo groans after the building collapsed on the two of you by the villian you both were trying to stop for months now.

"Katsuki." You weakly groan beneath him as the raging headache ensued from the collision of the building.

Bakugo look around them, sighing in relief as he realizes his wife is okay, and so is he. He tries to get but stops when he hears you yelp in pain.

"Stop, don't move, Katsuki!" You breathe tiredly. Only then does Bakugo look down and see the large metal bar piercing the two of you together. It's shocking the two of you are still alive.

Bakugo looks into your eyes as you whimper in pain. His adrenaline is beginning to stop as he winces in pain, too. But he puts on a brave face.

"Shh.. Fuck. It's okay, baby. We're going to get out of here okay, rescue shouldn't take long." He now says breathlessly holding you close.

You smile weakly at him, grabbing caressing his face.

"You're no liar, Katsuki. It's okay." You say while your voice cracks with emotion. He grits his teeth as tears spill out of his eyes.

"I'm sorry... I can't save us this time, baby " He says, choking on tears and blood. Your tears beging to spill, too.

"There was still so much I wanted to do with you." He sobs out as you listen, sobbing too.

"Fuck, we should've stopped ages ago, our stubborn asses. Should've retired early, go on a vacation, fuck maybe even had a child or two." He huffs out in a sad laughter as you both realize just how different your lives could've been if you had stopped being heroes year before.

Maybe your guy's death would have been more peaceful; one with old gray hair and wrinkles.

You give out a weak laugh. Your vision starts to get smaller, so you try to soak up every last detail of your husband's face.

"I don't regret this." You say choking on your blood. He stares lovingly into your eyes. His vision too slowly giving out.

"I loved that I got to spend every moment with you, Kats. I fucking love you're annoying ass so much. I couldn't imagine breathing without you next to me." You say with a weak smile, gasping for air with each pause.

Bakugo weakly smiles back at you as he brushes the debris off your face. Taking your beauty in for the final time.

"Good thing we don't have to" He says his final comeback as he pulls you in and puts his lips on yours.

Taking each other's final breath...

[If] our time on Earth was through, I'd wanna hold you just for a while, and die with a smile.

If the world was ending, I wanna be next to you~♡

Alternative Happy Ending

Shut up, I'm not crying you are 😭.

It's literally one of the most emotional pieces I've ever written in my life.

Blame Bruno Mars and Lady Gaga. 😭

[onlyangel4]

why. mv1. smau.

max verstappen x actress girlfriend!reader

in which opposites really do attract

written: this takes place from summer break onwards so obviously race results are all fictional

faceclaim: rachel zegler

sabrina carpenter series masterlist

y/ninsta posted a story tagging maxverstappen

written: guys i promise max does like bruno and i am not forcing them to be friends

maxverstappen posted a story tagging y/ninsta

written: bruno is currently looking at jimmy and sassy like they are food, it's a good job i love his mum

y/ninsta posted a story

written: bruno needed cuddles because his step dad called him a little shit on international television

redbullracing posted a story

written: look who is joining us in the paddock today (shhh max doesn't know)

y/ninsta posted a story tagging maxverstappen

written: he has to go race but he won't leave i think christian might kill me

y/ninsta posted a story tagging maxverstappen

written: bet you are glad i forced you to go race now. p1 babyyy

mv1y/nfan

liked by user1, user2, user3 and 43,829 others

y/ninsta: can we just take a moment to appreciate how grumpy x sunshine max and y/n are. it is actually the cutest thing in the entire world. like we all know max has resting bitchface but y/n is always smiling. they are opposites but they just work so well together

view all 3,292 comments

user1: i just love mum and dad

user2: i feel like y/n evens max out well she is always so cheerful it stops him from being so hard on himself

user3: the best f1 couple for sure

y/ninsta

liked by maxverstappen, danielricciardo, alexandrasaintmleux and 1,782,829 others

tagged: maxverstappen

y/ninsta: happy halloween from our family to yours (yes i had to force both of them to do this)

view all 65,239 comments

maxverstappen: you are the only person i will ever put a halloween costume on for

y/ninsta: i feel honoured

danielricciardo: this is going to haunt him forever

y/ninsta: if you bully my boyfriend i will get heidi to yell at you

alexandrasaintmleux: no fair my one refuses to put a costume on

y/ninsta: i trained mine well

user4: guys i don't think they are talking about bruno and leo

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[elysiumblue]

Pick a card - Loki's advice on how to improve your life 😬

I'm finally back to this blog. Shit happens in my life, so I took some time to deal with it, and I failed, so I walked away from the situation, which not only allows me to take care of myself but also gives me time to take care of you with some general readings. I feel Loki wants to provide you with some advice to improve your life this time.

As this is a general reading, please remember to take what resonates and leave the rest behind. If one pile doesn't sound right to you, you can pick another one, or more than one pile if you feel called to.

Also, this is just a tarot reading giving you some advice that can help with your situation. You're the one that has the control over your life.

👇🏻 Pick a color that you feel drawn to 👇🏻

(It may be a coincidence, but the randomly generated colors this time match the box of the tarot deck I am using for this reading, which is The Somnia Tarot by Nicolas Bruno 🥴)

And find the corresponding reading for you below!

Pile 1

I see that you may be dealing with tough situations that make you feel extremely isolated right now, or just left one recently. It can be tough family situations that leave you no choice but to be independent from them, or an extremely toxic workplace where you are being bullied. I don’t want to go into details of the situations because it's a general reading, and I also don't want to trigger people. You know what is going on if this pile is resonating with you.

Now, you see nothing good in the past situation, or the one you're dealing with right now that makes you feel you're stuck. All you want to do is fast forward to the future to see what the future can offer you. Loki admires that you have the clarity to see that the situation is indeed shitty, and have the honesty to admit it. Loki will be with you, offering you support in getting rid of the situation. However, Loki also wants you to be more grounded.

For some of you, I see that you're betting a lot on your partner, or a very trusted individual, to take care of you, and to create moments of joy in the future. Loki thinks that it's great for you to enjoy your life with someone you love, but at the same time, he wants you to be cautious and make sure that you're not building your whole life around them. Loneliness is caused by not having someone that knows you, and you have to take time to understand yourself, instead of spending all the time and energy orbiting that person. Their company can give you comfort, but it is never enough to fill the void inside you, if you're not putting effort into fixing the hole in you.

For another part of you, Loki wants to remind you to take time to discover yourself, instead of merely reacting to situations. For example, it's great that you have the idea to leave your toxic family. However, it shouldn't be your sole purpose of existence. You have so much potential, so much more than just the victim of the circumstances. You can develop hobbies, find your philosophy of life, create a network of people that can support your future, and more... You may not be able to see what you can do with yourself right now, but just believing in the potential itself is good enough to open yourself to receive more blessings from life. Otherwise, being too focused on the negative stuff will cause you to attract more negativity into your life, as the universe feels that all you want is more problems to solve.

Overall, Loki's message to this pile is to ground yourself and regain control over your life so you can be the main character in your own life. You are the only one that is able to build strength within yourself. Everyone else in your life is just capable of providing you with the assistance you need. Stop indulging in what others have the potential to do with you, what others are doing to you, or what you can do for others. It will burden you to a point that it can break you down. You can never fully control what others do. All you can do is focus on yourself.

Start acknowledging that you are strong, and it is just as important as any other person in your life. The past was screwed, and the future is never guaranteed, unless you have a clear enough idea yourself. Take time to think about what you truly want to happen in your life. Loki wants to remind you again that you are more than things that happened to you, so it is time to let things happen in your life for your own enjoyment.

Pile 2

First, I feel that someone who's reading this pile is actually considering if you should start working with Loki or not, and you may be looking at this reading to see if Loki is vibing with you. Loki wants you to take this reading as a sign that he wants to work with you.

I see that you are losing hope for life, because it seems that everything that has happened to you is terrible, and it feels like it will continue spiraling. For this pile, I see betrayal, and a fight with someone you care about. It may be a group with a really immature, aggressive leader, with mindless people that can do nothing better than following the leader like an NPC. The vibe I've got from it is a very stereotypical high school mean girl/boy bully type, like you have to please the "boss" or you get no friends at school, but it can also just be an indicator showing me how immature those people are. I also get a vibe of being stuck in a religious group, that has ideas you just cannot agree with, or even harmful for your mental health or sense of identity. Although you feel that what they've done to you is wrong, you don't want to leave them as they mean a lot to you. For example, your whole family, and even the whole community, is following that religion. Letting them know what you actually think, feels like a social suicide.

Loki acknowledges the suffering you are going through right now, and he agrees that those people have done you wrong. He wants to remind you to stop making excuses for those people, because it's a fact that they've done you wrong, and you're hurt by them. Also, Loki sees no reason why you have to limit yourself, or mold your thoughts for the sake of others, because theirs are not better than yours. To be honest, theirs are probably worse than you.

You're being put to a community that does not match your frequency, and it sucks. Still, it's a test to see if you're brave enough to be honest to yourself and support your own decisions, or waste time to become one of the NPCs following random rules. Loki suggests you leave that group, but in a peaceful way. It can be slowly disengaging from the group, fading away from their life, or just straight up stop showing up, because sometimes, people care less about you than you think, as they don't really care about you at all.

Loki ensures that you will find a better friend group that will be supportive of you and does not intend to hurt you if you start being honest to yourself and your own feelings, because there's a saying that your energy will match the energy of people who surround you, and vice versa. I can see that they may even have the potential to be your lifelong friends or even partners. For those who want to get rid of your existing religious group, Loki invites you to work with him. Loki ensures that he will help you bring better people to your life, as well as helping you to restore honesty to your life. He will make things better in your life.

There may be lonely times that you have to face if you start distancing yourself from the group. However, Loki wants to remind you that he is always here for you to go through the tough times. All you have to do is ask for him to be with you. He also wants to remind you that you are always surrounded by your spirit team, that are constantly protecting you and guiding you to a better path. Use the period of silence to stay tuned to them, review what you want in your life, and ask for their blessings.

Pile 3

For this pile, I feel that you are always the one who takes responsibility and leads others. You can see value in doing so, and you really want to continue guiding others to the better path. However, recently, I feel that you have a feeling that you cannot keep doing this anymore. It can be that the value of the team or company you work for doesn't match your vision anymore, or finding out that people are actually not appreciative of your efforts, or it can just be the stress and effort you have to bear is too much for you to keep doing this.

You question if quitting this position is the best option. It can be you worrying if you can get better pay from elsewhere if it's a job you're thinking of quitting. It can also be you worrying if it's too selfish for you to take care of your own feelings, sacrificing the potential of others staying on a better path. If this is the case, Loki wants to tell you that what you think is the best thing for others, may not be the most suitable thing for them. Some people just lack the energy to stay in a better place, and it's not your responsibility that they're not good enough. Attempting to go through others’ lessons for them, is the worst thing you can do, because not only will they not learn anything from it, now you have to bear the "karma" of screwing up their own lesson. If you don't believe in karma, then I still want to remind you that it's a waste of time and energy to try to make someone become a better person, when they don't have the intention to do so. If you're not the "fated one" to serve them the lesson, then you just cannot do it, no matter how much you care for them, and how much time you spend on them. Also, spoiling them will lead them to keep asking more from you, which probably explains why they're not appreciative of your efforts.

Loki wants to remind you that you're not born to just nurture others. You have to nurture yourself as well. Ironically, if you start taking care of yourself and caring less about how or what others are doing, it helps you to achieve your goal of being a better leader and taking care of others faster. It's because you've been blessed with a great vision that provides you with the charisma and leadership skills to be a leader. What you're worrying about right now is limiting your vision, and it's time to release yourself from it. As soon as the fog is cleared, you will see a new path that leads you to your destination.