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Tw yandere, hawks is in heat?
Would you care to share ?
Yandere hawks x yandere dabi x reader
Something about the villain/hero dynamic seduces me. Lol
I DON'T CONDONE THIS BEHAVIOR! THIS IS FICTIONAL!
Hawks has designated you as his personal secretary.
After that, the only one that was close to him almost the 24 hours of the day was you. Following him to photoshoots, interviews and some other non-dangerous activities.
Sadly Your free time was seriously compromised by his excruciating schedule.
Wishing for a personal life away from the hero, you've gathered all your courage and knocked his office door. But before your knuckles came in contact with the wood, you heard a male voice inside. it was deeper than your boss.
"I'm fxcking sick of the waiting! We should just take what we both want. " And his tone was quite rude too, you noticed as He kept talking:
"listen to me hero scam, I've a place where the three of us would be unbothered...And before you say anything the house is fully furnished and packed with a few fun things. If you get what I mean." He utter the last phrase with a chuckle.
But it didn't make sense, you've checked his schedule this morning. No one was supposed to be in the building till night time because of the water failure repair. Was this an urgent meeting of some kind...?
You couldn't dwell in your thoughts for long as you heard the conversation getting louder and louder. "Your plan is too reckless! All the flames must've fried your brain, Dabi".
You definitely are in need of a break, there's no way that the pro hero is talking with a villain. You read some time back about the long side effects of lack of sleep and hallucination was one of them.
"She is right here! Do you really think that someone could stop us? Come on hawks...you're being a selfish asshole" along with his voice you make up a stange noice... like paper burning up?
"You act like I dont want her to be ours too. Besides you already know why right now she is under my care" the hero said with a sight. Taking a big breath he continued.
"Self control Is not only hard for you, with every passing day my dirty thoughts about her are getting...harder to control. When I watch her I can't stop imagining how would she look on top of me, her breasts going up and down because of my trusts. The feeling of her in the verge of climax. Ahh..."
Was that a moan? You couldn't catch it completely. Soon you realized you weren't the only one with doubt as the villain raised his voice. "HA! Was that a moan? You're making me hard, baby" then you make up some steps inside the office followed by a sloppy kissing sound.
"And you know I can see when you're in heat. Do you want some release?" Dabi said in a seductive manner.
This was getting too real to be an hallucination and...She? Who were they talking about? This didn't look good for the only remaining person in the building. You.
Slowly you step back trying to not make any noice but your own body betrays you. "Hic-" a hiccup escapes your lips. You covered your mouth with your hands, even though is alredy too late and the door is being wide open by crimson feathers.
Inside you see your first villain up close, surprisingly his hand on hawks's pants grabs more of your attention than all the burns in his body. Dabi's face stitches move as he smirks and they even threaten to detach themselves as he opens his mouth.
"Hawks I know that right now she is your secretary, but given the circumstances...
Would you care to share?"
If you liked don't forget to give me a heart/reblog 🤗
Want more yandere? My masterlist
#yandere dabi#yandere hawks#yandere#yandere male#dark content#yandere mha#yandere bnha#mha#bnha#yandere hawks x reader#hawks#yandere dabi x reader#dabi x hawks
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Unexpected challenges welcomed on by heftiness resemble quiet attackers in that they represent no clear risk until they strike. Be that as it may, it's becoming harder to adhere to a fair eating regimen because of the relative multitude of promotions for scrumptious yet unfortunate food we're presented to in our day to day routines, from online recordings to our inboxes. Along these lines, keeping to a nutritious eating regimen routine turns out to be seriously invigorating. Food makers can presently not be relied upon to give precise data about their non-GMO and sans cholesterol contributions. The modest expense and absence of results of Elite Keto ACV Gummies make them a practical choice for the people who need to get in shape without forfeiting different parts of their lives, like their expert or individual job.
Patients who can't persevere through the torment of taking a great many compound-stacked meds might profit from the clinical purposes of Elite Keto ACV Gummies, which give various health advantages that might be useful to them recuperate from their sicknesses and stop their everyday difficulties. Both dietary irregularities and an absence of customary active work present serious dangers to the cutting edge person.
What Are These "Elite Keto ACV Gummies"?
The Elite Keto ACV Gummies are a BHB ketone and apple juice vinegar weight reduction item in sticky structure. Hard and fast Wellbeing, an industry veteran in the field of creating successful weight decrease supplements, makes the chewy candies. The feast works since it animates ketosis, the body's ordinary interaction for consuming fat and getting thinner. Weight reduction is an additional advantage of this technique for expanding energy and launching assimilation.
These Keto ACV Gummies are a phenomenal guide headed straight toward wellness and weight reduction. It has been noticed that customary eating routine and exercise systems need a sizable time responsibility day to day to find lasting success in consuming fat. We don't have areas of strength for a for it, so our bodies simply continue to heap on the fat. Nonetheless, that is all going to change rapidly. As indicated by the information given, you want to begin integrating more fat into your eating routine at the present time. You'll feel more joyful and have more energy as you get in better shape.
They improve your life and more splendid at the same time. Turn the stopcock to perceive how well they act in a rush! Something unprecedented is occurring at present. Outcomes from a considerable rundown of terrible things begin to occur. Keep a consistent progression of data without allowing things to go crazy. Elite Keto ACV Gummies give a new system to battling corpulence. As was recently said, an eating regimen's not entirely set in stone by its essential Keto Fixings.
What is the synergistic impact of the fixings in Elite Keto ACV Gummies?
With the assistance of the ketone salts remembered for Elite Keto ACV Gummies, your body might accomplish the metabolic condition of ketosis. The BHB keto salts supply the fuel that empowers ketosis, and the condition might be utilized to decide the cell-building up properties of squeezed apple vinegar. BHB keto salts are frequently managed intravenously to help the body when it is in a ketotic condition. Elite Keto ACV Gummies, then again, are made utilizing an exogenous type of the synthetic that produces result like those of endogenous ketones.
At the point when BHB keto salts are consumed into the circulation system, the body rapidly enters a condition of ketosis, exchanging its energy needs from sugar to fat.
By sticking to the ketogenic diet's suggestions for an eating routine high in fat and low in starches, you might utilize these Keto ACV Gummies for your potential benefit. Since fats are being utilized for energy while in ketosis, the remedial advantages of fats are as of now not adverse. Seldom individuals hear that their difficult paunch fat is reviled, or that they can't have a level stomach regardless of the amount they exercise and watch what they eat.
All things being equal, this progressive new item has made a total reconsidering of the standard methodology weight the board. It's more powerful than different methodologies and might be utilized by anyone without the need of rolling out radical improvements to one's eating regimen or gym routine daily practice.
Sale Live! - Buy Elite Keto ACV Gummies At Best Discounted Price Now!
How are the Elite Keto ACV Gummies made?
Utilizing a clove might help somebody with a quake reliance manage engaging conditions without setting off additional quakes. Assuming that you experience issues dropping off around evening time, you will view this as very valuable. Muscles in and around the burdened joint perform mechanical vibrations that might be eased by consuming concentrated ginger.
The main thing that can be utilized to accomplish this impact is Lavender Oil, a fair-minded rose, since the no one but thing can create the fragrance that is both durable and incredible. Like a great deal of different items out there the present moment, this one utilizes cannabidiol (CBD).
The eucalyptus plant might be midway made due, which will give a consistent stock of oil and make moving the joints to a lesser degree a problem.
Benefits of utilizing Elite Keto ACV Gummies include:
Utilizing Elite Keto ACV Gummies everyday has been displayed to work on mental clearness by reducing mental fogginess and stress. It assists you with getting in shape speedier and works on your psychological lucidity, consistent quality, focus, and strength.
Ketosis, actuated by eating keto chewy candies, helps energy by changing over abundance fat into usable ketones. Strength, essentialness, and endurance are totally supported accordingly. As well as being tasty, these Elite Keto ACV Gummies have medical advantages and provide you with an increase in energy.
Expanded metabolic rate (from eating keto chewy candies) prompts quicker weight reduction — these delicious ACV Chewy candies help in reestablishing a typical metabolic rate and lessening the side effects of metabolic deficiency.
Food fixation ought to be decreased on the grounds that dietary problems like pigging out are exceptionally predominant and the essential driver of unhealthful fat stockpiling in the body. Generally speaking, chewy keto ACV Chewy candies will get the job done to ease their side effects. The HCA in keto chewy candies makes it more straightforward to control desires and nibbling.
You'll feel full for broadened periods in view of the keto chewy candies' capacity to advance satiety. The high fiber content of keto chewy candies is one of their many advantages for assisting individuals with feeling full for longer. When followed accurately, the ketogenic diet can fight off strive after hours.
This is the way you can put Elite Keto ACV Gummies to utilize:
Ketogenic health food nuts have a more noteworthy capacity to bear heat in regions where they have put on weight. The enhancement Elite Keto ACV Gummies BHB Ketones is utilized here. Ketones influence both the body's metabolic rate and its muscle-to-fat proportion.
Since ketones are delivered during this interaction, almost certainly, your muscle versus fat's phones will be changed over into usable energy while you're constructing this design. Likewise, you might see an adjustment of your appearance on the off chance that you start consuming lipids. Models incorporate a smoother progress, a lower, more minimized butt, and more characterized stomach muscles.
You might be sure that Keto will deal with every one of the easily overlooked details for you. On the off chance that you're shifting focus over to both beef up and thin down, the clothes washer is the best approach.
For ideal outcomes, how frequently would it be advisable for me to take an ACV Very Thin Sticky?
Nonetheless, on account of their predominant strength and arrangement, clients are constrained to ingest Chewy candies. Settling the CBD condition with this technique will be a breeze. Along these lines, you stand to help much from the consistency of its variety conspire. Adhere to the proposals on the bundle, and have your advancement minded frequently.
Sale Live! - Buy Elite Keto ACV Gummies At Best Discounted Price Now!
Is it protected to utilize Elite Keto ACV Gummies, and do they have any sort of endorsements?
The energy needs framed in Keto might be depended on since they are upheld by solid wellsprings of data. These concentrates are results of homegrown horticulture, and they are plentiful in minerals or ketones that help the body all the more productively process fat and calories. The two vegetarians and carnivores could partake in various surfaces in their feasts. The "wash croakers," or experts nearby, have observed that utilizing this supplement is a protected and helpful way to deal with accomplish ketosis without modifying one's typical dietary propensities.
End:
Actually, the upsides of utilizing this supporter are a huge number. What's more, it's made in a GMP-consistent office, as ordered by FDA rules (Great Assembling Practice). These chewy candies are an incredible supplement to your normal weight reduction supplement routine. At the point when followed, the metabolic condition of blaze ketosis prompts further developed wellbeing and helps weight reduction. Before the day's over, you'll be full to the gills, so utilize your swipe to pick your fat of decision and exploit the unique proposal before it's gone. Since the ketogenic diet is the main underpinning of this weight reduction arrangement, the client of Elite Keto ACV Gummies will continuously be in a condition of ketosis. When your body shifts into ketosis and starts using fats for energy, greasy food varieties are as of now not risky.
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Elite Keto ACV Gummies:- Thin Down With Your Own Biology!
Outlook>> https://www.outlookindia.com/outlook-spotlight/elite-keto-acv-gummies-scam-or-legit-best-acv-keto-gummies-in-united-states-news-272600
Facebook >> https://www.facebook.com/EliteKetoACVGummiesShopNow/
Elite Keto ACV Gummies (Scam or Legit) Best ACV Keto Gummies In United States
Unexpected challenges welcomed on by heftiness resemble quiet attackers in that they represent no clear risk until they strike. Be that as it may, it's becoming harder to adhere to a fair eating regimen because of the relative multitude of promotions for scrumptious yet unfortunate food we're presented to in our day to day routines, from online recordings to our inboxes. Along these lines, keeping to a nutritious eating regimen routine turns out to be seriously invigorating. Food makers can presently not be relied upon to give precise data about their non-GMO and sans cholesterol contributions. The modest expense and absence of results of Elite Keto ACV Gummies make them a practical choice for the people who need to get in shape without forfeiting different parts of their lives, like their expert or individual job.
Patients who can't persevere through the torment of taking a great many compound-stacked meds might profit from the clinical purposes of Elite Keto ACV Gummies, which give various health advantages that might be useful to them recuperate from their sicknesses and stop their everyday difficulties. Both dietary irregularities and an absence of customary active work present serious dangers to the cutting edge person.
What Are These "Elite Keto ACV Gummies"?
The Elite Keto ACV Gummies are a BHB ketone and apple juice vinegar weight reduction item in sticky structure. Hard and fast Wellbeing, an industry veteran in the field of creating successful weight decrease supplements, makes the chewy candies. The feast works since it animates ketosis, the body's ordinary interaction for consuming fat and getting thinner. Weight reduction is an additional advantage of this technique for expanding energy and launching assimilation.
These Keto ACV Gummies are a phenomenal guide headed straight toward wellness and weight reduction. It has been noticed that customary eating routine and exercise systems need a sizable time responsibility day to day to find lasting success in consuming fat. We don't have areas of strength for a for it, so our bodies simply continue to heap on the fat. Nonetheless, that is all going to change rapidly. As indicated by the information given, you want to begin integrating more fat into your eating routine at the present time. You'll feel more joyful and have more energy as you get in better shape.
They improve your life and more splendid at the same time. Turn the stopcock to perceive how well they act in a rush! Something unprecedented is occurring at present. Outcomes from a considerable rundown of terrible things begin to occur. Keep a consistent progression of data without allowing things to go crazy. Keto ACV Gummies give a new system to battling corpulence. As was recently said, an eating regimen's not entirely set in stone by its essential Keto Fixings.
What is the synergistic impact of the fixings in Elite Keto ACV Gummies?
With the assistance of the ketone salts remembered for Elite Keto ACV Gummies, your body might accomplish the metabolic condition of ketosis. The BHB keto salts supply the fuel that empowers ketosis, and the condition might be utilized to decide the cell-building up properties of squeezed apple vinegar. BHB keto salts are frequently managed intravenously to help the body when it is in a ketotic condition. Elite Keto ACV Gummies, then again, are made utilizing an exogenous type of the synthetic that produces result like those of endogenous ketones.
At the point when BHB keto salts are consumed into the circulation system, the body rapidly enters a condition of ketosis, exchanging its energy needs from sugar to fat.
By sticking to the ketogenic diet's suggestions for an eating routine high in fat and low in starches, you might utilize these Keto ACV Gummies for your potential benefit. Since fats are being utilized for energy while in ketosis, the remedial advantages of fats are as of now not adverse. Seldom individuals hear that their difficult paunch fat is reviled, or that they can't have a level stomach regardless of the amount they exercise and watch what they eat.
All things being equal, this progressive new item has made a total reconsidering of the standard methodology weight the board. It's more powerful than different methodologies and might be utilized by anyone without the need of rolling out radical improvements to one's eating regimen or gym routine daily practice.
Sale Live! - Buy Elite Keto ACV Gummies At Best Discounted Price Now!
How are the Elite Keto ACV Gummies made?
Utilizing a clove might help somebody with a quake reliance manage engaging conditions without setting off additional quakes. Assuming that you experience issues dropping off around evening time, you will view this as very valuable. Muscles in and around the burdened joint perform mechanical vibrations that might be eased by consuming concentrated ginger.
The main thing that can be utilized to accomplish this impact is Lavender Oil, a fair-minded rose, since the no one but thing can create the fragrance that is both durable and incredible. Like a great deal of different items out there the present moment, this one utilizes cannabidiol (CBD).
The eucalyptus plant might be midway made due, which will give a consistent stock of oil and make moving the joints to a lesser degree a problem.
Benefits of utilizing Elite Keto ACV Gummies include:
Utilizing Elite Keto ACV Gummies everyday has been displayed to work on mental clearness by reducing mental fogginess and stress. It assists you with getting in shape speedier and works on your psychological lucidity, consistent quality, focus, and strength.
Ketosis, actuated by eating keto chewy candies, helps energy by changing over abundance fat into usable ketones. Strength, essentialness, and endurance are totally supported accordingly. As well as being tasty, these Elite Keto ACV Gummies have medical advantages and provide you with an increase in energy.
Expanded metabolic rate (from eating keto chewy candies) prompts quicker weight reduction — these delicious ACV Chewy candies help in reestablishing a typical metabolic rate and lessening the side effects of metabolic deficiency.
Food fixation ought to be decreased on the grounds that dietary problems like pigging out are exceptionally predominant and the essential driver of unhealthful fat stockpiling in the body. Generally speaking, chewy keto ACV Chewy candies will get the job done to ease their side effects. The HCA in keto chewy candies makes it more straightforward to control desires and nibbling.
You'll feel full for broadened periods in view of the keto chewy candies' capacity to advance satiety. The high fiber content of keto chewy candies is one of their many advantages for assisting individuals with feeling full for longer. When followed accurately, the ketogenic diet can fight off strive after hours.
This is the way you can put Elite Keto ACV Gummies to utilize:
Ketogenic health food nuts have a more noteworthy capacity to bear heat in regions where they have put on weight. The enhancement Elite Keto ACV Gummies BHB Ketones is utilized here. Ketones influence both the body's metabolic rate and its muscle-to-fat proportion.
Since ketones are delivered during this interaction, almost certainly, your muscle versus fat's phones will be changed over into usable energy while you're constructing this design. Likewise, you might see an adjustment of your appearance on the off chance that you start consuming lipids. Models incorporate a smoother progress, a lower, more minimized butt, and more characterized stomach muscles.
You might be sure that Keto will deal with every one of the easily overlooked details for you. On the off chance that you're shifting focus over to both beef up and thin down, the clothes washer is the best approach.
For ideal outcomes, how frequently would it be advisable for me to take an ACV Very Thin Sticky?
Nonetheless, on account of their predominant strength and arrangement, clients are constrained to ingest Chewy candies. Settling the CBD condition with this technique will be a breeze. Along these lines, you stand to help much from the consistency of its variety conspire. Adhere to the proposals on the bundle, and have your advancement minded frequently.
Sale Live! - Buy Elite Keto ACV Gummies At Best Discounted Price Now!
Is it protected to utilize Elite Keto ACV Gummies, and do they have any sort of endorsements?
The energy needs framed in Keto might be depended on since they are upheld by solid wellsprings of data. These concentrates are results of homegrown horticulture, and they are plentiful in minerals or ketones that help the body all the more productively process fat and calories. The two vegetarians and carnivores could partake in various surfaces in their feasts. The "wash croakers," or experts nearby, have observed that utilizing this supplement is a protected and helpful way to deal with accomplish ketosis without modifying one's typical dietary propensities.
End:
Actually, the upsides of utilizing this supporter are a huge number. What's more, it's made in a GMP-consistent office, as ordered by FDA rules (Great Assembling Practice). These chewy candies are an incredible supplement to your normal weight reduction supplement routine. At the point when followed, the metabolic condition of blaze ketosis prompts further developed wellbeing and helps weight reduction. Before the day's over, you'll be full to the gills, so utilize your swipe to pick your fat of decision and exploit the unique proposal before it's gone. Since the ketogenic diet is the main underpinning of this weight reduction arrangement, the client of Elite Keto ACV Gummies will continuously be in a condition of ketosis. When your body shifts into ketosis and starts using fats for energy, greasy food varieties are as of now not risky.
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·
View note
Text
News Roundup: Welcome to the Anna Delvey Economy
IN NEWS, Anna Delvey had her hearing yesterday. Maureen O’Connor reports for The Cut:
Defense lawywer Todd Spodek said a plea deal of one to three years should suffice for Sorokin. The case had many “mitigating factors,” which he will argue later this month, after lawyers from both sides figure out whether a plea deal is possible. Should they fail, Sorokin’s trial will start “sometime this summer,” according to presiding Judge Diane Kiesel.
Photojournalist, Kathryn Lindsay, comments on her look for Refinary 29:
Followers of Delvey's story will be happy to know she was still sporting her trademark Céline glasses, but her free-flowing mane had been wrangled into two braided pigtails. You'll probably see for yourself sometime soon, since professional photographers were granted permission to take photos over Spodek's objections. This case, according to Judge Kiesel, had become of such public interest that photos were now warranted, just one of many ways Delvey's life has changed since she became infamous.
You hear that photos of Anna are coming!
We’re waiting. (Source: The Hollywood Reporter)
For now, enjoy this essay on Anna Delvey and Elizabeth Holmes and the hair that they had in common, as published in one of my favorite publications lately the Outline. Apparently grifter hair is split end hair? Or maybe the public is just now realizing that literally NO ONE has sleek straight hair, not even the white women who perpetuate the damaging trend? I find this essay extremely interesting!! <--- see that link to it again. Read. Amanda Mull knows what’s up.
Really love her long layers here and I think I might take this photo to the salon next time I go to get my annual hair cut. (Source: Anna’s Instagram)
I wasn’t expecting to keep this blog up for this long - honest. It started as a joke website shared with my friends on our mutual awe and fascination over namely Anna Delvey and other cult heroes and maybe it could evolve into a place to put my stream of consciousness dribble on cult film reviews or wither away on the internet. (It will still wither away on the internet). It’s been a week, and there’s been SO MUCH out there on the interwebs on just Anna alone and the grifting think pieces she’s inspired and more is being written and produced and inspired on pure grift. And everyone won’t stop scamming! Think of this as your encyclopedia to the scammer age. I don’t condone scamming. I am archiving the weird stories about it.
It’s strange when you find something relatable about scammers and thieves even though their job description is literally trying to take something away from others. Is this news telling us we’re in a scamming economy?
Tom Gara writes an essay for Buzzfeed News about the golden age of grifting and how our culture encourages it. We’re creating jobs out of it! The most obvious sounding scamming job that Gara mentions is “social media influencer,” but I don’t think it’s really that ubiquitous. Being an independent social media influencer doesn’t pay; 96.5 percent of all of those trying to become YouTubers won’t make enough money off of advertising to crack the U.S. poverty line and you’d have to sell merchandise to make money, according to some dope infographics on the Outline. If someone told you to work this job, would you think it’s a scam?
Alternatively, if getting to a million followers is too much work but you like to write a little, you could write fake reviews for Amazon. People do this and it’s becoming harder and harder to detect which reviews are real, reports Nicole Nguyen for Buzzfeed News. Honestly I can’t even tell anymore when ordering from Amazon what’s authentic or what’s a cheap knock off. Scammer economy is where you leave authenticity at the door.
Not a writer but still want to become a scammer? Become a court-appointed legal guardian for senior citizens and run their estates! I’m kidding! Please don’t do this! Watch Last Week Tonight with John Oliver where John Oliver Guards Against Elder Abuse instead! You can read a write up about the episode on Rolling Stone. The fraud Oliver unveiled is insane and unconscionable.
I haven’t even gotten to multilevel marketing schemes. If someone offers you Lularoe or wraps, run away. Like seriously why are we scamming each other? The earth isn’t round, it’s a pyramid.
#anna delvey#scam economy#grift reviews#scam#we all scam#wham bam thank you scam#social media influencer#building a non scamming life is harder
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Good Omens AU Part Four
It’s back. Original is here
Wilbur didn't expect to care about Tommy, but he accepted it pretty quickly.
---------
There wasn't much to bring with him the day he moved to town. After all, it wasn't like he'd actually need to renovate the house.
He stood on the curb in front of the remnants of the house that burned down a decade ago, suitcase in hand. A bit of a fixer-upper, but I can work with this.
After checking to make sure there weren't any nosy neighbors watching, he reached out to the debris.
The charred wood and scattered bricks twitched for a few seconds, before assuming the appearance of a lovely home.
A doorbell, a porch, windows in a shade of cobalt blue, and above all else the distinct feeling that Wilbur's house (and by extension, Wilbur) had been around on the block for ages.
Even if the neighbors didn't know who he was or what he did, they would have to struggle to think of him as a stranger.
And they had their own petty human lives, which didn't contain the time or energy to waste worrying about a charming new addition to the neighborhood.
Wilbur strolled into his perfectly average house, plans whirring in his head.
Showtime.
--------------
There were quite a few houses on the block, but Wilbur was only focusing on a group of three.
House #1: Tommy's home, three houses away. A simple house that contained the most important person in the world and his intimidating dad.
House #2: That Weird Guy's house, two houses away. Wilbur had no idea who That Weird Guy was, but he was apparently close friends with Tommy's dad, and even more intimidating. Wilbur wasn't sure why the kid was surrounded by people that made him worry for his life despite being immortal.
House #3: Schlatt's house, sadly next door. He didn't need additional proof that god hated him, but apparently they'd wanted to make it even clearer.
A week or so after he'd gotten settled into his new home, Wilbur decided to go outside to get a better look at the streetlamps and the night sky while trying to find his plan.
He was feeling surprisingly positive about the whole thing. Soon, he'd be changing the fate of the world.
If this didn't get him remembered after it all, nothing else would.
A hacking cough came from the porch next door, reminding him that he wasn't the only supernatural being on the block. Wilbur took a breath, trying to be civil.
Don't get distracted from the most important mission of your life because you want to murder a goat. Just walk on by. Just keep walking, and don't acknowledge his existence. You don't know him.
However, his unwanted neighbor had no qualms about acknowledging Wilbur's existence, and he'd only taken a couple of steps onto the street before Schlatt called out to him.
"Well, would you look at that: You’re finally out of the house! This is more of a miracle than anything I’ve done.".
Wilbur turned around, counting down the seconds until he could not be where he was, having this conversation.
"Schlatt, we're supposed to be undercover."
"Oh, my bad. Guess these random humans will never get to know our big secrets.". Schlatt raised his voice slightly, yelling to the deserted cul-de-sac.
"Would be a shame if someone found out that guy over there is a demon! Yeah, the jerk with the beanie's from Hell, and I'm an angel, and we're only pretending to be human because (get this) one of the little tykes on your block is actually the antichrist!".
Wilbur pinched the bridge of his nose. Was it possible to get headaches when his mind was only semi-corporeal?
"Could you kindly shut the fuck up?"
"Nope.". I mean, that's kind of on me for phrasing it as a question.
Schlatt took a break from the Annoying Wilbur Show (airs all times that he has the poor idea to go outside) to dig into more of his tomato sauce and meat wraps.
He raised the snack like it was a holy relic. Wilbur supposed that if Schlatt really wanted to, he could make it into one.
"These are Hot Pockets. I was actually planning on taking a few over to you-know-who's family as a housewarming gift, build up good favor, you know?". Suddenly, the plan clicked in Wilbur's head. He tried to keep his face neutral and concerned, with no hint of a smirk.
"Hot Pockets? I mean, are you sure?"
"What's wrong with Hot Pockets? And choose your next words carefully.". Wilbur leaned against a streetlamp, sighing in assumed pity.
"There's nothing wrong with Hot Pockets per se. They're fine, I guess.". Schlatt sputtered, offended beyond belief.
"Fine? Fine? You see before you the one thing that has made me reconsider starting the apocalypse, and you're like "eh. fine". Fuck you and your family and whatever you call taste buds. Fine? I'd tell you to go to hell, but that doesn't work, so go to New Jersey you son of a-".
This continued on for a while.
Wilbur nodded along to the tirade, maintaining a poker face. All the while, he telekinetically inched the tray of wrapped (?) Hot Pockets towards him.
The tray crept ever closer, past Schlatt's lawn chair, past Schlatt's nightmarish garden gnomes, past the freshly dug earth that definitely had a body buried under it, until it was finally within reach.
Without listening to another word, Wilbur grabbed the Hot Pockets and ran for the hills, easily outrunning the outraged angel.
Sorry, Schlatt, but you're going to have to try harder to win this game.
He sprinted to House #1 and rang the doorbell, trying to look non-suspicious. After about a minute, he got an answer from the selected father (Phil, his name was Phil).
Wilbur smiled brightly and walked into the house.
------------
The initial meeting went great, putting the whole "getting threatened with a knife" thing aside.
Phil seemed to appreciate the Hot Pockets and company, and Wilbur could confidently guess that he'd managed to secure a place in helping him out in the future.
Besides being good for the plan in general, he'd liked spending time around Phil and Tommy. Wilbur didn't get to talk to people a lot, and when he did it was normally trying to scam them out of their soul.
So, this was a welcome break.
And his heart definitely hadn't been warmed when Tommy had fallen asleep to the sound of his guitar. Nope. Absolutely none of that.
Phil evidently didn't see child raising as his first priority, and Wilbur found more chances to volunteer to watch his kid than he expected.
At times, he felt like he was just as much of a parent to Tommy as Phil, if not more.
Which wasn't to say that he felt any bitterness about that. Quite the contrary. Watching after Tommy was one of the best parts of his day.
Despite being a baby, the kid already had so much personality, and his little face would light up whenever Wilbur went home to House #1.
When Wilbur held the baby in his arms, he really did feel like a guardian.
The phrase "guardian angel" had stung, but he did want to shield Tommy from harm or becoming anything like him when he grew up.
Still, it's not like his heart was at all warmed when he held Tommy in his arms-Oh, screw it. His heart was warmed. He happened to care about the adorable baby that he spent a lot of time with. Go figure.
Caring wasn't interfering with his job as a protector, informant for Hell, and general influencer of evil. So, there was no purpose in denying it.
Besides the unexpected emotional attachment, nothing really changed about the general routine.
His days consisted of maintaining the glamours around his house, reading his books, writing (it turns out that an approaching Armageddon worked wonders for deadline motivation), staring at the ceiling and wondering why God had forsaken him, looking after Tommy, talking with Phil (and on occasion, That Weird Guy), giving the Lords of Hell their required project updates, and, occasionally, almost getting murdered.
One key example of the "almost getting murdered" thing happened when Tommy was around two years old.
----------------
He'd just gotten back from another meeting with the Lords (yes, Tommy is still alive. no, he isn't evil yet, seeing as he's two years old. no, that wasn't sarcasm. no, I'd actually prefer for you to not kill me for my insolence. Same old stuff.).
It was a cold yet sunny winter afternoon when Wilbur stepped out of the office building and back into the mortal world. As he made his way towards the bus station, his phone rang.
The call was from Phil, and he moved away from the middle of the sidewalk to take it, leaning against the brick wall of a building next to an alleyway.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Will, a job came up tonight without much notice. Would you be able to watch Tommy around 7-ish?"
"Sure, I can do that."
"Great, you're a lifesaver. One last thing: If Techno decides to question you about your motives and backstory, don't take it personally, he's just in one of those suspicious phases lately. Okay?".
Wilbur would have loved to agree, nonchalantly laugh it off, and quickly go over his backstory in his head again.
Unfortunately for him, there was a weapon aimed at him from the alleyway.
It would be a funny sight to the passerby to see a normal-seeming person cower in the face of a spray bottle.
Of course, the average passerby wasn't a demon.
9 times out of 10, when a spray bottle was pointed at a demon, the spray bottle was full of holy water and the demon was in for a bad time.
Wilbur stood there, frozen. The alleyway was shady, and he couldn't quite make out who was aiming the bottle at him.
Phil's voice echoed out of his phone.
"Will? Are you still there?". Wilbur tried to keep his voice steady, and he quickly responded.
"I'm here. I got it. I'll be ho-I'll be back soon. There is no need to call me back. Goodbye."
"What's that supposed to mean?". He tapped the screen, ending the call. Please, don't have me die right now. It would be annoying, not to mention narratively unsatisfying.
He looked into the alleyway, addressing whoever had seen fit to threaten him today.
"Hi there. I'm guessing that spray bottle isn't full of Sprite.".
A man in a blue onesie (Sonic the Hedgehog cosplay?) emerged from the shadows.
"Yep. I mean, it technically was Sprite until it went through the blessing process, but it's a lot holier now.". Wilbur blinked a few times in confusion.
"Connor?"
"Hey."
"What's with the outfit? Why are you threatening me in an alley? What's with the outfit?"
"Don't mock the outfit, I have it on good faith that this is the height of human fashion."
"Let me guess. Schlatt told you that.".
The onesie-clad angel stood there, realizing that taking the advice of that particular coworker probably wasn't the smartest decision he'd ever made. Eventually, he shrugged it off.
"Well, I feel resplendent, so this is a win in my book.". Wilbur tapped the bricks on the wall, almost playing a rhythm.
"Listen, Connor, if you were just going to kill me with that thing you would have already pulled the trigger. Why are you here?". Connor looked a little sheepish about the whole thing.
"The higher-ups thought that I should make you an offer you can't refuse. Basically, some intern had the bright idea that we should have Hell's guardian either agree to spy for us or die."
"You're suggesting that I become a double agent?"
"Yeah. Or die, whichever is your preference."
"I think your higher-ups underestimate my importance here. Killing me won't slow our side down by much. They'll just send another guy, and you'll have to spend more time in unpleasant alleyways."
"And someday they'll send a guy who takes our offer. Trust me, we've been planning this ever since we realized Schlatt was going to be useless down there.". Wilbur thought about it.
Killing god obviously matters more than prolonging my life. And I'm a good actor, but I don't have enough time in my life to be a triple agent.
"Come on, Connor. I thought you were one of the decent ones.". Connor half-heartedly kicked at a puddle.
His face was reluctant, but he still aimed the spray bottle with precision.
"Please tell me you're going to accept the offer?"
"You've known me for years. What do you think?"
"From what Schlatt has told me, you're too stubborn for your own good.". Wilbur laughed at that.
"Yeah. So the real question is: Can you murder me, Connor?". Connor shuffled, and the spray bottle wavered. Wilbur continued talking.
"I'm actually interested to see what you do next. You've got my full attention.". The two of them stood there, completely still. Finally, Connor pointed the spray bottle away from Wilbur and aimed for the sky.
"You've kind of made this whole thing weird, man. So, I'll give you a 15-second head start.".
Wilbur didn't waste time thanking him, and he sprinted away.
He fled through shadows and smoke, barely remembering to keep some trace of a physical body. He scrambled his way towards the bus station, reaching the glass doors.
However, that was where his luck ran out.
"Sorry, Wilbur. That's the power of the Sonic onesie: I'm really fast.".
I'm going to need to invest in a Sonic onesie. Except I can't, because I'm about to be shot. Fuck, those are terrible last thoughts.
Out of desperation, he grabbed the lid of the spray bottle and twisted it off, before punching Connor in the gut. The angel doubled over, and the holy water spilled out of the bottle.
Wilbur scrambled away from the spill, trying to keep from making contact.
He ran through the doors and into the bus station.
Some of the holy water had gotten on his coat, and he awkwardly shrugged it off in a corner, which was a shame. He'd really liked the aesthetic of having a trench coat. Sure, he could glamour another one in a few seconds, but it wouldn't feel the same.
Connor walked towards him, and Wilbur glared.
"You made me lose my trench coat!"
"Again, sorry about all of this, it was just business.". Connor held out his arm in an almost peaceful gesture.
And Wilbur, tired and overconfident, made the first stupid decision for the day. He took the peace offering and took Connor's hand.
The white-hot pain nearly knocked him to the ground.
There had been less than a drop of holy water on his hand, but it was more than enough to stop Wilbur from breathing for a few minutes.
In and of itself, that was fine. He didn't need to breathe to stay alive. All that he had to do was stay away from holy things, what had he done.
In the background, Connor was frantically apologizing and claiming that he "didn't mean to do that". Wilbur wondered distantly why he'd still be lying to him.
And here I was thinking that there were one or two decent angels. How laughable.
No one's decent 14 years from Armageddon. Not humans, not angels, and not me.
Wilbur shoved Connor away and walked up to the ticket counter.
His hands were shaking and his words all over the place, but somehow he managed to convey that he wanted to take a bus back to town and pay for it.
If I can get back to my house, I should be okay. Or, at the very least, not dead.
The bus ride was tricky. For one, part of the route was along Fundy's cursed highway (one of the demon’s more useless inventions), so things were significantly slowed down.
Also, everything felt far away and cold, and it was a bit difficult to keep focus on which stop was his.
It took far too much time to reach town, and even more to make his way back to his street.
On auto-pilot, he ended up at House #1 first, panicking slightly when neither Tommy nor Phil was inside.
Trying to keep calm, he checked House #2, and thankfully That Weird Guy (he knew his name was Technoblade, but that was a ridiculous name, and he'd been thinking of him as That Weird Guy for so long that it was hard to stop) was keeping watch over Tommy. Relief washed over him.
I don't know what I'd do if he got hurt.
That Weird Guy seemed fine with taking care of Tommy for a little longer, which Wilbur was secretly grateful for.
He also seemed convinced that Wilbur was going to pass out, which was hilarious, seeing as Wilbur didn't need to sleep or breathe unless he wanted to.
After a brief moment of rest in a bush, he made his way to his house.
He tried to unlock the door, but his hands were trembling too much to use the key, and he was seeing two locks instead of one, and he slowly slid to the ground.
Is this actually how it's happening?
I know I'm not long for this world, but I always expected a better exit. Something with fanfare and sacrifice and meaning.
Our so-called "immortality" is a conditional one. The instant we dare to touch something holy, it all goes, and there's no soul or afterlife for us castaways.
I wish I was human.
Wilbur struggled to look up at the sky.
It was still daytime, and the stars weren't out yet. That was a shame, he'd worked hard on those. He shivered.
I know we're doomed to fail come Doomsday. I know that there's no way out of Your ineffable plan. But I'm trying to make directorial choices with your script, trying to make a good story. This is a terrible ending.
It was quiet. That was probably for the best.
Do I deserve it?
Of course I do.
But I didn't always, and you're not blameless either.
I hope that Tommy's too young to remember me.
The world was cold, but peacefully quiet, and the pain was mostly beyond his reach. This wasn't bad, all things considered. Wilbur's eyes closed.
A few minutes later, he was rudely awakened by Phil shaking him.
"Are you okay? I mean, obviously you’re not, but can you stand?". He opened one eye.
"I'm fine.". Phil laughed at that. Part of Wilbur considered laughing along, while what was left of his common sense informed him that Phil sounded like he was laughing out of shock.
"Fine? Will, there were a few seconds where I thought you were dead!"
"Well, as you can see, I'm not. If you could just unlock the door, that would be great.". The door unlocked behind him.
He struggled to rise to his feet, and Phil caught his arm, supporting him.
"What the hell happened to you?"
"Minor business conflict."
"There is a hole in your hand.”
"That happens at my job sometimes. I'm in the mafia."
"Have you considered other career options?"
"The insurance benefits are too good.". Phil set Wilbur down on a couch and left the room. As was to be expected.
Wilbur reached under the couch cushions to grab a hidden cigarette lighter.
He had no intention of smoking while bleeding out, obviously.
The cigarette lighter had been modified slightly, another one of Fundy's inventions.
The fire of the lighter was no regular thing, but rather hellfire. Hopefully, that would be enough of a cure.
The warmth of the hellfire slowly and painfully chipped away at the ice and purity, and he took a few seconds to internally mock god.
Maybe a bit of a hubris-related thing to do, but Wilbur was glad to live another day, and that meant spite.
For whatever reason, Phil stuck around to make sure he was okay.
Wilbur hadn't quite expected that.
He wasn't in the best state, but Phil seemed to believe that it was better for him to be talking than unconscious.
So, in a half-delirious state, he rambled about mercy, and free will, and falling.
And when he whispered that he missed flying, he could have sworn that Phil agreed.
----------------------
Anyway, aside from dramatic moments like those, life was okay.
Wilbur was there for every milestone in Tommy's life, and he wouldn't have it any other way.
He was there for his first few words when Tommy was a baby (the first word was "kaboom", but the second was "Wilby").
He was there for his first steps, and once Tommy learned to walk there was no stopping him from running everywhere.
He was there for preschool graduations and first days of kindergarten and beyond.
-----------------------
Of course, Wilbur's job was to teach the kid to want to kill god, and he tried to do that too.
From the moment Tommy learned how to read, Wilbur kept trying to get him to read Paradise Lost. Sadly, he was six and Milton wasn't to his taste at the moment.
Wilbur wasn't sure how well he did on that front, but he tried.
Either way, he wasn't sure if he raised a suitably evil kid, but he raised a good one.
Not good as in morally, obviously. Tommy was still a rascal at times, but he was the rascal that Wilbur cared about.
-----------------------------
Wilbur was the one to teach him how to ride a bike.
Tommy was so determined to learn how to do it, and he kept getting up even when his knees were scratched up from crashing.
When putting on band-aids, sometimes Wilbur would slightly heal him. Not so much that he wouldn't know to be careful, but just enough to ease the pain a bit.
Wilbur also taught him other valuable life skills like lock picking, lying, good taste in music, and how to pick pockets. The stuff every kid needed to know!
His reports to the Lords of Hell became less clinical, and more chatting about Tommy finally figured out how to ride a bike, and he's getting good grades in language arts, and he likes musicals too, and he's such a wonderful kid.
They'd mostly stare in confusion, and awkwardly ask him how that was helping Satan.
--------------------------
And he knew that every birthday meant that the two of them were one year closer to Doomsday.
And he knew that he wasn't going to survive Doomsday.
Wilbur had a feeling since the moment he first fell that he'd have to redeem himself or go out in a blaze of glory. And, frankly, he felt too bitter towards his creator to aim for a redemption arc.
So, when Tommy turned eight, he knew that he had eight years left to live.
And when he was ten, he knew he had six, and so on.
That didn't stop Wilbur from baking a cake for him and singing.
He cared about Tommy quickly, and he later grew to care for Phil, and maybe even he would be vaguely upset if That Weird Guy died.
Wilbur couldn't call this place a home, and he couldn't say they were his family, but it was the closest he'd ever gotten to that sort of thing.
And sometimes, he could fool himself into thinking it could stay like this.
-------------------------
Once, he'd made the mistake of trying to taunt Schlatt about it.
They'd been talking, and Schlatt made one too many jabs about how he spent his days babysitting.
He'd mocked the patch that Tommy had clumsily sewed into his new trenchcoat, and Wilbur got a bit annoyed.
"At least I've been doing my job and spending time with the antichrist! You've been completely useless down here, just sitting around in that lawn chair and drinking. I mean, it makes everything easier for me, but the fact still remains that I've been getting stuff done while you've been treating this like a paid vacation.".
Schlatt looked him dead in the eyes, setting down his glass.
"You think that you were smart, getting close to their family? Turning up the charm, making friends, stealing my goddamn Hot Pockets (which I'm still mad about)?". He laughed in his face.
"Wilbur, you're a fucking moron. You say that I haven't spent enough time around the family? You've spent way too much, and it's given you a bleeding heart."
"I don't have a-"
"Tommy's going to die in six years, you know. Kid's cute, but he's not going to survive the end of the world. He's a child, and God is God, and he's going to get smote like burnt chicken. It's just the facts.". Wilbur recoiled from him, hissing his next words through his teeth.
"Shut up."
"Did you even think about anything besides your own stupid martyrdom? Or were you too busy playing house and getting attachments? Face it, Wilbur: It's lunchboxes today, graves tomorrow.".
For once, Wilbur had nothing to say. No clever response, nothing. Just pure panic.
He touched the patch on his trench coat covering his heart, looking to the sky.
Please. I know you're a bastard. I know you hate me, and I hate you, and that can't change. But if you gave me some sign, some promise that you wouldn't hurt Tommy, I'd do anything.
As always, there was no response.
-----------------------------
Wilbur cared about Tommy, and he knew, and even if it was a weakness he couldn't stop.
All of Tommy's family cared about him, wanting him protected and alive.
But Schlatt?
Schlatt didn't give a damn about Tommy, and he never would.
There was no care weighing him down. And that meant that he had infinitely more options than everyone else.
#dream smp#dsmp#good omens au#beware the drafts of march#c!wilbur#sbi#sbi family dynamic#writing#fan fiction#wilbur soot
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Be Prepared Nightmare Edition
Horrortale!Sans was standing next to his brother and Undyne. While the Empress wouldn’t be able to step within ten feet of the brother normally, this was a special occasion. They had gotten a job offer from a man named Nightmare, kill the target and he would deliver food to the Underground. Desperate and starving, they accepted. However they underestimated the strength of the target, and had their asses handed to them.
“Man, that lousy Dream. I won’t be able to sit for a week.” Sans said, and Undyne burst into laughter.
“It’s not funny Undyne.” Sans said, and she only laughed harder.
“Hey, shut up!” Sans screamed, and he tackled her.
They punched and tried to tear into each other until Papyrus stepped in.
“Will you knock it off?” Papyrus said, dragging the two off each other.
“Well, she started it.” Sans said, pointing to the growling fish monster as he bared her teeth and snarled.
“Look at you guys. No wonder we’re dangling at the verge of starvation.” Papyrus said, he was exhausted.
“Man, I hate dangling.” Sans said, he had to work non-stop to keep himself and Paps from starving, and even more so to stop himself from getting killed by other starving monsters.
“Yeah? If it weren’t for those humans, we’d be living like kings.” Undyne said, growling at the memory of Frisk.
“Man I hate humans.” Sans said, and Papyrus nodded slightly.
“So pushy.” Undyne grumbled.
“And sadistic.” Sans said, he was itching for a kill at this point.
“And tasty.” Papyrus finished and the two had a laugh.
“And, man, are they” Sans began.
“Ugly!” They cheered, Papyrus joining in on the laugh.
“Oh, surely those humans are not all that bad.” A deep and velvety voice said, and a dark yet short figure emerged from the shadows, the trees rustling as he walked past them, causing them to wilt.
“Oh.” Undyne said, rolling her eye.
“Oh, Nightmare. It’s just you.” Sans said, he kinda liked the guy, aside from his handsome face, he was a ruthless hunter and didn’t waste time.
“We were afraid it was somebody important.” Undyne spat, smirking.
“Yeah you know, like Dream.” Sans said, Papyrus was looking at the two as he took a generous step back. He had seen Nightmare mad once, he didn’t want to be on the receiving end of death.
“Yeah.” Undyne said, chuckling as Nightmare grimaced.
“I see.” Nightmare said, his own devilish smirk appearing on his face,
“Now that’s power.” Sans said, looking at Undyne.
“Tell me about it.” Undyne said, recalling her beat down.
“I’m surrounded by idiots.” Nightmare said, looking at their bruises and scars from recent and past fights.
“Now you, Nightmare, I mean, you’re one of us. I mean, you’re our pal.” Undyne said, grinning wider at Nightmare’s disgust and discomfort.
“Charmed.” He said glaring at her.
“Oh, I like that. He’s no emperor, but he’s still so proper.” Undyne said, giving a small giggle as Sans snickered, Papyrus still praying for their safety.
“Yeah. Hey, did you bring us anything to eat, Nightmare, old buddy, old pal? Huh? Did ya, did ya, did ya?” Sans said, getting close to him as he did puppy-dog eyes.
“I don’t think you really deserve this.” Nightmare said opening a viewing portal to a buffet of food, cooked to perfection. It made the trio’s mouths water.
“I practically gift-wrapped those skeletons for you, and you couldn’t even dispose of them.” Nightmare said, sighing in disappointment as he opened the portal and Undyne began to collect the food to disperse.
“Well, you know, it wasn’t exactly like they were alone, Nightmare.” Undyne said, counting off the plates as servants came and carried the food off to be rationed.
“Yeah what were we supposed to do? Kill Dream?” Sans said, taking a bite of a chicken leg, chewing on the bone. Papyrus gagged at the sight.
“Precisely.” Nightmare said, bringing the trio to Undyne’s balcony in New Home.
“I know that your powers of retention,” Nightmare said, walking around the group. “are as wet as the dark riverbed.”
“But thick as you are, pay attention!” Nightmare said, smacking the bone out of Sans’ grasp, he whined as he lost the bone as there were still scraps of meat on it.
“My words are a matter of pride.” Nightmare said, running his fingers on Sans’ skull.
“It's clear from your vacant expressions,” Nightmare waving a hand in front of Sans’ eyes. “the lights are not all on upstairs.” Nightmare pouted as he flicked Sans’ nose hole.
“But we're talking kings and successions! Even you can't be caught unawares!” Nightmare said, using his tentacles to propel him onto the roof.
“So, prepare for the chance of a lifetime. Be prepared for sensational news~!” Nightmare said, announcing his words to the crowd.
“A shining, new era, is tiptoeing nearer.”
“And where do we feature?” Undyne asked, and Nightmare laughed.
“Just listen to teacher.” He said, using a tentacle to pet her head.
“I know it sounds sordid, but you'll be rewarded.” Nightmare declared, making illusions of food from all walks of life, fresh and ripe. The crowd’s mouths water as their hands fly through the illusions.
“When at last, I am given my dues. And injustice deliciously squared.” The Lord of Darkness announced, raising his hands as the crowd looked at him in awe.
“Be prepared!” He cried out with the crowd, smiling darkly as he rejoined Undyne, Sans, and Papyrus on the balcony.
“Yeah, be prepared! We'll be prepared! For what?” Papyrus said, earning him a glare from Undyne.
“For the death of Dream!” Nightmare cried out, snarling.
“Why? Is he sick?” Undyne said, making her voice high pitched and innocent as she sneered.
“No, fool, we're gonna kill him. And Ink, too.” Nightmare said, his smile demonic.
“Great idea! Who needs joy?” Undyne said, hypocritically as she did agree to attack him.
“Idiots! Stick with me, and you'll never go hungry again!” Nightmare screamed to the crowd Everyone cheered and praised Nightmare. “Yay! All right! Long live Nightmare! Long live Nightmare! Long live Nightmare!”
“Nightmare, Nightmare, Nightmare, Nightmare, Nightmare, Nightmare! It's great that we'll soon be connected,” They cheered as Nightmare propelled himself above the crowd, dragging Undyne, Sans, and Papyrus along with him by their waists.
“With a king who'll be all time adored!” They cheered, a dark grin on Nightmare’s face.
“Of course, quid pro quo, you're expected,” He said, resting on top of a large building, resting the three people behind him on their knees.
“To take certain duties on board.” Nightmare drew a line across his neck as he gave a sadistic grin to the trio of former friends.
“The future is littered with prizes,” Nightmare illusions of food appearing over the starving monsters. “And though I'm the main addressee,” Most came over to him but they didn’t care, what they got looked so good.
“The point that I must emphasize is,” He snapped his fingers.
“You won't get a sniff without me!!!” The food turned to knives as they nearly hit the crowd, vanishing before they hit.
“So prepare for the coup of the century!” He said, beckoning the crowd to chant.
“Be prepared for the murkiest scam!”
“Oooh... la, la, la!” The crows sang, Undyne, Sans, and Papyrus now huddling together.
“Meticulous planning!”
“We'll have food!” The crowd cheered, many crying.
“Tenacity spanning!” Nightmare lifted himself higher above the crowd, nearing the top of the cave.
“Lots of food!” The crowd announced
“Decades of denial.”
“We repeat!” They were cheering.
Is simply why I'll "Hyena Clan: Endless meat!"
“Be king undisputed,” Nightmare was smiling widely.
“Respected, saluted,” He was cackling.
“And seen for the wonder I am!” Nightmare was uncontrollably laughing.
“Yes, my teeth and ambitions are bared.”
“Be prepared!”
“Yes, our teeth and ambitions are bared!” He said in unison with the crowd.
“Be prepared!” They all screamed, Undyne regretting meeting Nightmare.
BE PREPARED!!
I love this song.
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#personal
I guess tomorrow will be a month since I was let go from work. The severance finally deposited along with the payout for my paid time off. The way unemployment works today would have been the earliest I could have applied. As everyone reads in the news about America, the extra benefits expired this week. My situation is very unique but it’s not without precedent. I’m simply not eligible. Which means I have to adopt the term “self-employed.” The CARES act did have some less than obvious help for my situation though I had to do the digging. The last four weeks I’ve had little or no help from anyone other than the counsel of my parents and here. So the good news was that I spent the last four weeks trying to work through the financial ambiguities. I learned a lot about tax law. I set up a brokerage. I divested my entire life from the last twenty years of my career. And nobody said anything. I’m sure people wanted to say things.�� Yesterday I had to narrowly avoid two interactions with some people who haven’t talked to me in over a year. It was obvious that someone wants me to talk out in public. It was also obvious enough to avoid altogether. Like someone is always trying to set up these quasi “magical” encounters with people who could literally just reach out and call. They don’t. That’s a clear sign of either social engineering or a flat out scam on my public identity. I’ve travelled around the world at this point and had hundreds of such street interactions. It’s not worth my time to play catch up about something that I’ve already started healing from. It’s baggage to me. Just like the tax burden I’m facing making sure I don’t get caught up in an election year spectacle. Everybody is talking about people “like me” but nobody bothers to address my situation by name. If all I were was my job then I’d be a failure right now. But I spent the last week building an investment portfolio after rolling out of bed sleeplessly at three thirty in the morning. I ended the week twenty five dollars down. Blizzard leading the top of my modest leads. I invested in both AMD and Intel. Throughout the research on the Internet I read about these companies and products I purchase. Stocks are supposed to be fun. No one would know because everyone talks over each other just like in real life. But investing in these times is a lot more. Savings accounts don’t yield near anything due to the interest rates. Money is held onto all the time which doesn’t really help the liquidity of the markets or the economy. Greedy companies don’t help either. Intel was the market leader. Also had one of the highest paid CEO’s. Also has a processor delayed a year in a market surrounded by wolves. Apple has the ARM. AMD has the Ryzen. The computer I built does too. The laptop I’m currently on is a coffee lake i7. Matched with the 144hz refresh on the display, it plays Overwatch on a clip I’ve never experienced. It’s butter. AMD is affordable. AMD is also making the jump from hobbyist darling to OEM distribution. I invested in both because of a simple fact. Both companies are now led by women. AMD is led by Lisa Su. Intel’s Ann Kelleher will lead the initiative for the future to bridge the industry gap and opportunities for women. These are the things I’ve been connecting my money with after twenty years of maturation. And mostly how I’ve been “wasting my time” the last four weeks.
Not that anyone would know other than from what I’ve written. People are friendly enough. I’ve been out on my bike trying to clear a path in my life for the next six months. I’m in a situation in which incurring any more income this year makes things more difficult. And when I skim the jobs on LinkedIn I see more of me sidelining my life to make other people money. Stability is a weird thing. In America, you think it’s your job. But it really is just money. The way things work out I have amazing health insurance for a year at a price. I also have the option to add a spouse and child at any time during that period. It’s expensive. I could have shopped around. Skimped on dental or vision. But in the end, I could afford to sit things out. And in a time of complete and utter desperation, I come off cool and calm to a point. The reality is I could just sit here and play games at the kitchen table. I could write to my friends. I could keep following the same love in my heart that I’ve been following for a few years. I was more impressed that I could broadcast where I wanted to work on LinkedIn more than what opportunities are out there. I selected Chicago, New York, Los Angeles and China. I’ve been treated as human capital for years without my consent. I’m worth more than this. I’m sick of listening to people talk about themselves and do nothing about it. They compare and contrast. They plot and they scheme. They gossip and backstab. And every year they’re more and more buried. In their emotional baggage. In the problems they won’t dare face head on. In the debt they accrue. Silently yesterday I ended all my credit card debt in a series of transactions. I still have a small loan which will be paid come September. I have never sat quietly and never had to owe anyone money I didn’t have. I spent twenty years at a salaried job weighed down by lifestyle creep. When you aren’t happy in a job, you spend more to compensate. This happens to medical students often. They get great jobs out of school but are also in debt from loans. They burn out on spending. The debt piles up. And there is no escape other than to work harder. The same goes with student loans, home mortgages, and whatever else ties you down to revenue generation for someone else. I’m not there anymore. And I don’t really have any interest in going back. The brokerage account was a late night brainstorm. I talk less about politics now. The politics don’t help me. I talk to myself about tax law and investment. I write about it here but I would never talk about it in public. Just like I’d never discuss magic the gathering strategy with a person who wants to talk about celebrity gossip instead. I see change in my life when I act for myself. And excuses don’t pay the bills.
And then there’s the awful reality that people still think they know better. This is a dangerous time in that respect. People forgot about me the whole last month. I literally had no real human contact via email after the 15th. I missed the window to clear out my office waiting for this laptop. People really expected me to use all my psychic powers to read into what they want me to do with my life. I’d rather save the telepathy for the girl I like. In that respect, not really trying to change my agenda. My agenda isn’t hidden or anything. People just don’t ask me the right questions. People don’t ask questions at all. In the last month, I’ve felt the most human and been treated the least humane. And that is just life. Would the girl of my dreams really want to see me break down and cry for help? Or would it be better to see how no matter how hard I get thrown I always land on my feet? I’m more than on my feet. I’m on stable ground and a little tired of the world and its bullshit. I’m also not really mad about it anymore. I’m just me. I have some time to organize my life for a change. I got new glasses. They are Versace. I have time to take care of myself. I have a monthly and yearly cash forward budget. It is very necessary to know your expenses first when looking for a job. It is the key to negotiating a salary and benefits. Ironically LinkedIn solved the problem for me. It thinks I should be making 10k more than I was. And more in New York. Nobody told me that outright. I had to figure it out for myself. Because the difference between what you want to do and what you can afford to do is a real line. I worked for a non profit for years and barely got a raise or promotion. The salary wasn’t industry standard at all. And now the position just doesn’t exist. I can’t comfortably say I can even work until I consult a tax lawyer. That was a decision that I made for myself. There’s a lot of decisions I make for myself that nobody gives me a warm hug in public for. Nobody is privy to them because they either are afraid to treat me like a human being or they don’t read these journals. This is to say that I realize nobody “really” cares. If they did I wouldn’t have gone through any of this. I wouldn’t feel forgotten. I wouldn’t have taken that rage and moved on. Being angry is dumb. You saw it on my face for years. I was stressed. I was strained. I listened with genuine concern and intent to the feelings everyone had. I accepted everyone face value. I worked to make people feel included. And in the end I was excluded for whatever reason. I didn’t fit in. I always had to surrender my identity to the “discourse” that was more interested in using me a punching bag than an ally. I don’t have to be the beacon for a lawsuit anymore. I don’t have to raise my blood pressure for people who would rather see me drop dead. I can just stay out of the way completely. And in a time when American politicians on either side have no real answers, I’d rather rely on myself to get through. I’d rather wait for people to recognize how utterly horrible I’ve been treated in terms of my value as a person. I am not human capital. I am a fucking person. And the one thing I know is that my value over time here is not wasted. And the time I’ve spent writing to you has made me who I am. Impervious to hipster bullshit. <3 Tim
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How all my failure turned into major Success ?
This is a short story of my life covering a “ journey from age 18 to 19 ”
What happened in 2nd year of Diploma ?
Perceiving second year of college in Diploma. It was already ruined because at our time it was a huge rally going on and we were shutting down the college for several times. What resulted was a backlog for 3 semesters in Maths. When you are in first year of diploma, you get excited and you top the semester. All the same enthusiasm decreases when you are introduced to more complex subjects. Complex is not appropriate but you can call it as “theorein” meaning “ to look at ” same as deep theoretical subjects. And there is a sudden change in graph of your success. A major depression takes place over here and you suddenly feel it. Even harder it is when you have backlog and you start losing hope to study to pass the subject (specially maths). Once you start exposing yourself to history, you can get that what I am learning is the things which were invented in 90s. You start feeling this dilemma when you think - why I am spending time in this ? while I can learn Python and create some AI bots transforming HCI. Now what’s HCI ? It’s Human-Computer Interface. It’s pretty interesting when you learn something latest in market and pretty vintage when you learn from late 90s. Only difference is you get surprised by seeing all the old machines. You get stagnated seeing how big they were and how dumb it feels to punch holes in a punch card and rotate it million times. So spending time in riots, enjoying holidays every day, feeling college life. I thought of going for a course of iOS App Development. It was from April to July 2018. I remember working on those Windows computers which were installed with MacOS. I used to sit on the chair with a low-key attitude and waited 5 mins so that the computer can open XCode and start running. Worst thing of all I learned Objective-C which was mostly obsolete and the course was not complete. They charged ₹ 20K for the course teaching all basic things. I was feeling a total disgrace going for it and the end result is I am unable to make a payment option working on my app. Whom should I blame ? I moved on. I came to know, that all the things running with this “ private ” institutes if fake. Seeing a big banner of full placement is a trauma happening to me. Real time experience was that I was not even closer to becoming iOS App Developer. After that I came to know that if you don’t clear your backlogs then you will be YD. YD ? it’s Year Down and means you can’t attend next year until you complete the backlogs first. I worked hard and cleared my semester.
Habituated minds must be thinking that I have a year break ? no off course not. I attempted the subject and got 32 marks still in need 8. In MSBTE board we have a rule of condolence that “ you can pass if you are near to passing and you have only one subject to fail ”. So, failure was my friend as giving mathematics-3 for all 1 and half year. It was fun and a crying moment. I was a total failure till that. I got scammed once. I didn’t pass in maths. I was a shy person. I didn’t speak much. I was caring about what others think. Then I passed and got around 71 (I don’t remember but it was First Class) for clearing backlog. Wait… 71 % ? Yes, I was intelligent. I was interested in upgrading myself but kept downgrading myself. Then I travelled and saw different people in the world. One who were hard workers and one who were working mentally. What’s the difference ? Can you tell if that person can work like hell ? Can you determine his ability to do the hard work ? Then I came to Mumbai once and went to a EB-5 business counselling. EB-5 ? yeah, it’s like a green ticket for you to live in America. Just invest 5 Crores. I felt like why I am here ? I earn ₹ 0 and went to see 5 Crores investment deal. I felt bad and came out. Walking down the road I saw Ferrari Showroom. Got happy seeing it. Then walked around 20 Kms to local station. Took a train to Karjat. Then again a train to home. All my struggle felt like I am wasting my time in this all non-related things to my background.
Do you understand the flow of failures ? Did you understand how my failures lead me to more exposure to real life truths ? Now I am in my third year and doing well in it. I pass out with 73% overall aggregate. Still 2 marks remaining for First Class Distinction. Now, when I see my certificates, I literally have 3 certificates of 3rd semester. You can laugh no one will see. What life teaches is totally different than what schools/colleges teach. I realised that whatever I do, I need to put all of my efforts to succeed. Here we are at the 3rd quarter of 2019. I am planning to get admission in international college. I went on myself filled all forms and had to decide if can pay that much fees or not. Then I had discussion with my family. Finally I landed with a admission letter to my degree in CSE department. I got exposed to people and got to know much more things I didn’t thought in my whole life. It was fun and I participated for getting into semester exchange. Got selected for it, left it due to not having enough funds. Started realising that world is not what I see in my dreams or what I see in movies. I started growing myself. I expelled all my talent which was hidden. Enjoyed a little. But didn’t partied because I know rich people don’t spend there money in parties and motivated people don’t spend their time wasting in unwanted things.
So, I am having a PHD
PHD which represents the “ real life truths ”. Didn’t understand ? See above starts of the paragraphs. Building up a great foundation for my future steps. No matter what, Keep Moving. Keep Hustling. Keep Smiling!
“Value” is the little brother of “discipline”, so start valuing things and you will automatically achieve discipline — Bhavesh Patil
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Monthly Reads | September 2019
Happy belated 28th! This month I managed to read 29 fics so all of them are under the read more. Among others you'll find fics from @hlmpregficexchange, @hlmusicalsficfest, @1dtwistedtropesficexchange and @1dridicficexchange! Thank you so much to all of these authors for their hard work! Happy Reading!
Smokey vanilla | louisnights | mpreg - a/b/o - trans character - threats of violence - 25k Louis is the sole guardian to his younger siblings, and he's fallen pregnant. A new neighbor moves in next door, Harry, and they become good friends. Harry is kind and beautiful. Louis can't help but fall for him.
Hooked on a Feeling | dandelionfairies | mpreg - famous/not famous - 37k Louis is a famous actor. Harry is not. He also has no idea who Louis actually is. After a one night stand, Harry ends up pregnant. Louis finds out the day he walks into the bakery that Harry owns. From that moment, he makes it known that he plans to be in the baby’s life. Over a short time, their own friendship builds into something more. How will Harry handle knowing who Louis actually is? How will they handle it all when the paparazzi get a hold of the story?
Going My Way | jacaranda_bloom | mpreg - strangers to lovers - fluff - banter - 20k The one where Harry gets a replacement LYFT driver, Louis is just trying to earn some extra cash before the baby arrives, and they both end up with way more than they bargained for.
Love Me Like Tomorrow's Never Gonna Come | stylescantstop | mpreg - exes to lovers - past breakup- 20k Harry and Louis are broken up but run into each other at a mutual friends wedding. What they don't know is that night will change their lives forever.
Another One For The Road | reminiscingintherain | mpreg - famous/not famous - established rlationship - 15k The one where Louis' on tour when he finds out the hard way that men can get pregnant too....
Sowing the Seeds of Love | ShapeOfLou | mpreg - established relationship - fluff - 18k When Harry finds out that he's pregnant, he worries that Louis might not be ready to take on a task like parenthood. To prove himself, Louis buys a potted plant to keep alive—only it's much harder than he ever imagined.
I Get To Love You | lovelarry10 | mpreg - strangers to lovers - One Night Stands - friends to lovers - friends with benefits - famous/not famous mutual pining - 83k A one night stand leaves Harry with a permanent reminder of the night he spent with a stranger. Louis has no idea who the handsome stranger he took to bed is... until his friends make a shocking discovery. A baby is on the way, and Louis and Harry have nine months to get to know each other before they become a family...
The Long Way Round | yourpricelessadvice | mpreg - friends to lovers - slow burn - breakup - 44k 2002 is going to be Louis’ year. He’d said that about the departing 2001 as well though, after declaring the first year of the new millennium ‘a trial run’. But this year will be different.
Race You to the Stairway | Chelsea Frew (chelseafrew) | mpreg - angst - fluff - 6k Harry. Louis. A stalled lift. Labour. Will the first responders get there in time?
Falling For You | Halos_Boat | mpreg - homelessness - light angst - fluff - 28k "I'm Harry," he extended his hand out for Louis to shake but quickly retracted it as if he were ashamed. Louis frowned, pushing out his own hand, "I'm Louis." Harry's lips twisted up slightly, accepting Louis' handshake happily, "thank you so much for your kindness, Louis."
Silent Night | Snowy38 | mpreg - 14k Louis is a shepherd who’s resigned to spending Christmas alone when his flight home is cancelled because of snow.When he hears a caroller out in the cold he plans to pay them and send them on their way.He didn’t plan for that caroller to be so mesmerising. And he certainly didn’t plan for Harry to be heavily pregnant!
A virgin to that money | eversincewefellapart | college/ university - sex tapes - love/hate - 7k Harry and Louis are broke university students who hate each other and make a sex tape. (In which Louis gets fucked a lot, Harry can't find the camera, and the road to falling in love is different for everyone.
More Than You Know | brightlyharry | miscommunication - fluff - funny - 64k The one where Louis is a doorman for a luxury apartment building and Harry is the newest resident of the penthouse. Timing fails to be on his side as he tries to catch a glimpse of the building's newest occupant and prove he's a call-boy. When he finally does see Harry in the flesh, he's more captivated than ever. Featuring Liam as a mailman and Louis' trusted friend and no one knows what's going on with Zayn.
Perceive with your mind | rsadelle | college/ university - invisibility - 5k Harry grabs a piece of paper and scrawls a note: Freshers think a ghost lives here. I told them to stop bothering you even if you are a ghost. If you are, you're probably lonely. You're probably not a ghost, so maybe you have loads of friends and we haven't met because you're busy with them all the time. If you are a ghost, maybe you can knock on my door, or leave a message in the bathroom mirror. Wouldn't want you to be lonely! - Harry (35A) He adds his mobile number to the bottom of the note so whoever's in 35B can text him if they want, then opens his door, crosses the corridor, and slips it under the door of 35B. He waits for a moment, then shakes his head when of course there's no immediate response because of course there isn't a ghost living in 35B. That would be ridiculous.
Ain't We Proud | yeehawharry | WW II - minor character death - PTSD - period-typical homophobia - slow burn - 20k Louis Tomlinson returned to Manchester in 1945 with survivor’s guilt, no job prospects, and a promise to check on the brother of his wartime best friend who didn’t make it home from the front. Things began looking up when he heard a radio advert for the Tribute to the Troops Song Competition and decided to put together a band of fellow vets, combine their talent and experience, and hopefully rocket to stardom. A Bandstand AU.
Symptoms Of The Culture | alienharry | college/ university - video/computer games - fluff - 14k Harry's fraternity has become obsessed with the newest online game, and they'd like to think they're getting pretty good at it. Only, they keep getting killed by The Rogue, an online player who has no connection to the Frat, but seems to have a vendetta against them.
Up For It | jacaranda_bloom | OT5 - lads holiday - secret relationship - banter - 18k Each year, the five friends take a lads holiday; it’s tradition, and this year is shaping up to be a jam-packed, fun-filled trip with their best mates just like all the rest... or is it? OR the one where Liam is Mr Organised, Zayn is too perceptive for his own good, Niall is a compulsive matchmaker, and Harry and Louis might just have the surprise to shock them all.
Laundry Room | beautlouis | flirting - banter - pining - slow burn - humor - 10k Louis and Harry are both students living in the same apartment complex. They end up having the same laundry night and time. Louis can't stop staring at Harry and he can't figure out why Harry consistently points out Louis’ inside-out shirts, and his untied shoes, and messy hair. Enter slow burn-ish flirting, banter, awkwardness, and a lot of laundry.
Right Side of the Wrong Bed | eyesofshinigami | humor - fluff - 11k The one where Louis wakes up on the wrong couch only to meet his future husband (even if Harry doesn't know it yet).
Never Been Knotted | allwaswell16 | a/b/o - non traditional a/b/o - fluff - strangers to lovers - 9k Harry doesn't mind that he presented as a beta. It mostly just makes his life easier and more convenient. There's just one small problem: he'd really like to be knotted.
Small Doses (Loving You It's Explosive) | QuickedWeen | boxing - light angst - dom/sub undertones - 38k Louis Tomlinson finds himself at Vitality Fitness to try and turn his life around after having left his cheating boyfriend of four years. The gym's owner, Liam, quickly becomes a good friend, but his right hand man is rude and dismissive from the get-go. Louis and Harry continue to clash all while Harry is trying to move his way up the ranks in Manchester's amateur boxing circuit, but they can't seem to stay away from each other.
Everything I need I get from you | jaerie | a/b/o - mpreg - strangers to lovers - emotional/psychological abuse - sexism - 10k In a world where music and sound are just as vital to health as food, Harry is stuck in a town that thinks professional music is a scam and a relationship he never wanted. One chance event changes his life.
Sweet and lowdown | wreckingtomlinson (karasunonolibero) | 1920s - prohibition era - 13k Harry is about to be married for the fourth time, Louis’ never been kissed, Niall can’t cook, Liam can’t dance, and none of them are very good at acting.
Like electricity | cupcakeL | Billy Elliot AU - ballet - 1980s - period-typical homophobia - mentions of dementia - mentions of alcohol abuse - 17k The one where a 12-year-old Louis Tomlinson, an orphaned coal miner's son in Northern England during the strikes of 1984/85, stumbles upon a ballet class during his weekly football training. Soon he finds himself in dance, demonstrating the kind of raw talent seldom seen by the class' exacting instructor, Madame Malik, who starts pushing him towards making use of his abilities while Louis struggles with feelings he doesn’t quite understand.
'Sup | MediaWhore | fluff - awkward flirting - meet-cute - silver fox Louis - 6k Gemma really wants her little brother to sign up for a dating app and get back in the game after a messy divorce. Harry thinks he’s way too old to swipe. They compromise to devastatingly embarrassing results. Meanwhile, all Louis wants is to finish the play he’s been commissioned to write, but one of the regulars at his local coffee shop keeps distracting him. ft. older larry, pushy gemma, harry being a disaster gay and silver fox louis.
Adore You | isthatyoularry | courtship - age difference - love/hate - fluff - angst - 67k “We invited our new acquaintances from uptown. You’ve simply got to meet their oldest son!” said his mother with a flourish, and suddenly it became abundantly clear as to why his parents had so adamantly demanded he join them in Deansville for the entirety of the summer. Against his wishes, Harry spends the holidays at his family’s summer estate, and is reluctantly pulled into a courtship he didn’t ask for. Harry doesn’t want to get married, but Louis does. They don’t fit, but then again they really, really do. Vaguely set in the 1920’s. Headpieces, jazz, fashionable canes, and flapper dresses, and that.
I Wanna Be Alright With My Baby Tonight | graceling_in_a_suit | college/university - trans character - football/soccer - mentions of transphobia - anxiety - insecurity - fluff - humor - 18k Harry Styles' university football team (Go Queers!) is on a losing streak, and so is his love life. Louis Tomlinson—a fellow trans man and the team's new co-captain—might just be able to help with both.
We're not who we used to be | louistomlinsons | exes to lovers - road trips - slow burn - 30k “Harry…” Louis’ voice catches in his throat, thick with tears threatening to fall out, so he coughs to clear it before trying again. “Harry is Liam’s best man?” “You didn’t know?” Harry is standing at the entrance of the garage, mouth slightly open and face pulled together. He sets his bag on the ground and puts his hands on his hips. When he does that, he looks just like the Harry that Louis remembers (and loves, he thinks with an aching heart). “I’m sure I mentioned it,” Liam says, but Louis can tell he’s lying by the way he chews on his lower lip and twists his fingers together. “You’re all a bunch of dick heads, I’m getting in the car.” Louis isn’t sure if he’s being unreasonable. He has no idea what the protocol is when your ex-boyfriend shows up after three years and nobody bothered to give you a heads up. He’s pretty sure he’s allowed to be upset about it, even if it’s only for a bit. or an exes to lovers canadian roadtrip au
Tan Lines and Some Memories | twoshipstiedup | fluff - humor - summer romance - 11k It’s summer in California and blockbuster movie star Louis Tomlinson is looking forward to a break and spending his days lazing away at his beach house. Harry Styles is the indie movie darling he’d been avoiding ever since Louis saw his movie at Cannes and harbored an unreasonable grudge against him. A unicorn t-shirt finally brings them together in person. Summer romance ensues.
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Sofía, Bulgaria - June 2019 🇧🇬
The second last day of my journey was ready to start. It started once more early but not as early as intended to at first. My original plan included a coach trip from Thessaloniki to Sofía, but as lucky as I was on this trip, I got adopted by two fellow fans who invited me on their ride on a more comfortable car. While I did know tiny bits of Greek, I didn't know a single thing about Bulgaria. Well, not 100% true - I knew they're part of the European Union, they don't have the Euro and they use the Cyrillic alphabet. That's it. I didn't know they were not part of Schengen and I also didn't know a single thing about their fascinating long history.
Once being dropped of in Sofía, I fell in love with the city. Its different, it's full of history - you can tell by just walking around for five minutes - and it's super green and full of parks. I head to my hostel, ring the bell and after a couple of minutes an old lady appears, telling me in broken English there's something wrong with my room and hands me a phone. The man on the other end explains me that they have anogher building down the road, the woman will bring me there, and they will upgrade my single hostel room to a studio for the same price. Alright?!? I follow her and we have a nice and brief talk in English. I tell her I'm from Germany and it's my first time in Bulgaria, I'm here for a concert, but not to play myself - to watch a band. She's charming and welcoming as she's trying her best in communicating with me.
She drops me off with her colleague at the studio house. This new woman doesn't speak any English, so she hands me her telephone and I talk to the guy I talked before. We discuss the final details and then I have a super huge studio with a kitchen and sofa and a large bed all for myself. I charge my batteries, check the nearby restaurants and download the local Taxi App. It works like Beat in Greece, you can pay via credit card and so you don't have to withdraw too much money from the next ATM. I'm craving something fresh and healthy so I get late lunch at a close by fusion restaurant that serves an amazing poke bowl. As I have a full day left for sightseeing, I decide to head down early for the venue. I'm totally on my own this time and you never know how crazy the Bulgarian folks are about gigs. On my way getting there I have the best and cutest old taxi driver you can imagine. She talks English, shows me some sights of the city while passing them, tells me to definitely use the app after the show to not get scammed by another cab driver as the venue is in a students area and he hands me a tourist info in English about the most famous sights. He also changes the radio station to the rock channel once I told him about my plans for the evening and in just that moment, the gig gets announced on the station and Dropkick Murphys are played on the radio...
Boy, was I wrong about the audience. Nobody shows up until 30 minutes before door. The first person I get in contact with is G. from the UK. He tells me he came down as DKM and FT are his favourite artists. Well once more - I'm not alone at a Frank Turner gig and I guess I never will. Doors open, and about 6 people head into the venue, an ice hockey stadium. Once the six of us are in, nothing happens for an hour. I walk around, get me a coke and water and some caramel popcorn as apperently this is what you can buy at a gig in Sofia. Franks set is moved back by 20 minutes and once he enters the stage there are some hundred people inside the venue while the rest is still out front smoking. (For the first time of this tour, the promoter made actually sure that nobody is smoking indoors! It's a blessing!)
Once more some Frank Turner fans gather around close to the front. I can hear them singing both on my left and my right side, which makes me smile like a nutter and sing even louder. It's once more utterly insane to whitnes Franks first gig in Bulgaria. I guess it's pretty hard regarding the size of the venue and the small amount of people who do know him. But it doesn't stop him. No, he tries even harder, chats his bits through the Bulgarian language and he even managed to sing "Eulogy" in it. It's like his magic trick, everytime he does that, the crowds starts to respect him a tiny bit more. He tells the crowd how crazy it is for him to finally play a show in Bulgaria and says its pretty special to him as he wrote his university dissertation about British-Bulgarian relationships. This evening I sing extra loud during "I still believe" - as it somehow became the song of my trip to the East. I would never had thought that I would travel all the way down to Greece to see my favourite artist opening up for an American band. Well in the end I travelled to those places and the shows were the red cherry on top of doing the trip.
Sofia was finally the gig where I was able to witness a FULL Dropkick Murphys gig. I got me a seat on the side and enjoyed the non smoking environment. From the very first start about 2700 people went nuts. While looking around I saw so many happy faces and I once more realised how lucky I am living in Berlin with 5-10 gigs every day. These people had to wait more than 20 years to see Dropkick Murphys play in their city - in their country. And the guys from Massachusetts showed them what Punkrock was about. At one point singer Ken stopped the band as he saw someone in the crowd doing Nazi salutes. Ken was all about to jump into the crowd and fight that guy. Everything happened at the other side of the room, I didn't see anything besides a raging singer. But in this moment Ken earned a lot of respect from my end.
Luckily the show was ready to continue and I wandered a bit around until a friend of the band invited me to come up sidestage to become part of the final stage invasion of my tour. I've been side stage for many shows in my life, but to see this wild and happy crowd from up there made my heart jump with joy. It was beautiful and being part of the stage invasion some minutes later felt absolutely unreal. Do you know this feeling when you just think you're dreaming? That was me, dancing and singing around on a stage in Sofía, Bulgaria. Even when I look back to it now, I can not really believe this did actually happen to me.
Sometimes life is full of big surprises and I'm still so happy I decided to do this trip when all my fellow gig buddies said they wouldn't join. Traveling and going to my gigs on my very own made me learn a lot about myself but also a lot about those foreign countries and their people who react differently to you if you actually interact with them. When you're travelling in a group you tend to keep to yourself and turn around to keep chatting in your group conversation. This wasn't possible for me, I had to get in contact with people and I loved it! One more day in Sofia ahead...
#traveling#always on tour#solotravel#frank turner#fthc#Sofia#Bulgaria#Bulgarien#Dropkick Murphys#Dkm
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How I Learned the Importance of Cardio the Hard Way
When I am training clients the first time, I often hear this one sentence: “I don’t want to go jogging today, I don’t want to lose my muscles!” This is a deadly misconception. It is completely irrational, unhealthy and unscientific.
As Will Smith said, cardiovascular endurance training is one of the keys to a great life,
The keys to life are running and reading. When you’re running, there’s a little person that talks to you and says, “Oh I’m tired. My lung’s about to pop. I’m so hurt. There’s no way I can possibly continue.” You want to quit. If you learn how to defeat that person when you’re running, you will know to not quit when things get hard in your life.
While jogging might not be the most fun activity to do. At least for most of us. It is nonetheless crucial to implement cardio training in your workout schedule. Not doing cardio is an excuse, to not deal with the pain of running long distance. The fear of losing your muscles is simply an excuse to not go for that hard, yet so important activity.
More often than not, cardio training can actually improve your prospects of gaining muscles. Partly by helping your body build muscles faster but also by increasing your life span. Increasing your life span is a big part in achieving muscle growth. Because one thing is for sure: If there’s a person that definitely can’t build muscle mass, it’s a dead one.
Learning The Importance Of Cardio – The Hard Way
I was never a big fan of doing cardio training, until I felt an unexpected and grave urgency to start doing so. Let’s go back two years.
At that time I was at a seminar for cardio training. We were asked to do a lactate test. This is a test where you run on a treadmill while getting your blood tested several times. After a certain period of time, about two minutes, the speed of the treadmill gets increased. The goal is to find out how much lactate your body is producing at a certain speed. The more lactate your body is producing, the more stress your body is currently dealing with. Also the more likely you are for having problems with heart disease or other underlying diseases.
We were starting out at about 7 kilometers per hour. This is an easy jogging tempo considered from today’s standpoint. But back then, this was exhausting. I was starting to sweat heavily after only three minutes of running with that speed. After the first blood test, we had to reduce the speed on the treadmill. I was expected to have a lactate level at about 0.8mmol/l. My lactate levels were about 2.5mmol/l. My stress levels were already going through the roof.
At that time I was also founding my business and my youtube channel. Sleep loss, tons of stress, plus my complete neglecting of cardiovascular training has taken its toll. Me, a fitness trainer, completely healthy looking and muscular, was at a risk of heart disease. I felt like a scam-artist.
While it’s true that most of the top long-distance runners are really thin, cardio training is nonetheless important for many other key aspects of your life. Such as dealing with stress and improving your heart health. It even improves your blood circulation of your brain, which has been linked with increased intelligence.[1]
Don’t be penny wise and pound foolish. Cardio training is important to live a long and healthy life and performing at your highest level, both professionally and in your private life.
The Benefits For Muscle Growth
The number one reason I was afraid to go jogging or ride a bike on a continuous basis, was that I was afraid to lose my muscles. This meant that a completely biased and unscientific belief was preventing me from living my life to the fullest.
Just recently I ran 26 kilometers straight for fun. I think at this moment, I’m at one of the best shapes of my life, both physically and mentally. I am able to work long hours as a facility manager, online coach and content creator, plus I’m still able to train hard.
While it’s true that a calorie surplus is needed to gain muscles and cardio training is burning calories, this is an easy shortcoming to make up for. Having to eat more is a privilege. Most people in this world struggle to eat less.
Doing cardiovascular training on a regular basis can even help you to improve your muscle growth. Cardio training can reduce the time needed for recovery. Endurance training improves your blood circulation.[2] Blood circulation is important for transporting nutrients to your cells and removing toxins. Put cardio training in combination with a vegan diet and you’re absolutely boosting your results in the gym.
The downside of cardiovascular training for muscle growth is therefore easy to manage. The downsides of not doing cardio, are harder to deal with.
Not Doing Cardio Is Slowly Killing You
A professor of mine once told me that while weightlifting helps you deal with stress, cardio training helps you to relax. Low intensity cardiovascular training is crucial when it comes to increasing your vagal tone.[3]
An increased vagal tone, the measure of the activity of the longest and oldest nerve in your body – the vagus nerve, is linked with better control over your emotion and less likelihood to acquire stress.
Cardiovascular disease is the number one risk factor for death and disability in the US. While multiple factors are playing a role in the creation of this disease, such as nutrition. Cardiovascular endurance training is a good way to prevent and even cure that sickness. Jogging or even walking on a regular basis can improve your blood cholesterol and triglycerides level, indicators that help you live a long and healthy life. Doing endurance training seems to be a good price to pay then.
If exercise could be purchased in a pill, it would be the single most widely prescribed and beneficial medicine in the nation. – Robert H. Butler
How To Implement Cardio In Your Schedule
To combat my high lactate levels, I was implementing sprints into my workout schedule. This is not good. I did not know that this form of high intensity training can even lead to more stress.
If you’re already an avid weight trainer, make sure you’re training cardio at separate days of your workout programs. Try to put as much time between your weight training and cardio training. This way your body has enough time for recovery and can focus on the build up of the two different training entities, increased muscle growth and blood circulation.
Implement cardiovascular training in your schedule, by following this exact order. Following this scheme is crucial for your long-lasting success:
Train as often as you can.
Train as long as you can.
Train as fast as you can.
Implement cardiovascular training in your daily life. Walk to the grocery store instead of taking your car. You don’t have to go for a jog if you can’t do it. Instead just go for a walk. There’s nothing to be ashamed of if you can’t – you’re still beating everyone that is sitting at home on the couch. The duration or the speed of your training don’t matter at the beginning. Try to do this for 3-4 times a week, you’re trying to create a healthy habit. I recommend doing cardio in the morning, when you’re still uninterrupted. The before or after breakfast discussion is trivial, you have to see what works for you. The most important thing is, to just get into the habit.
If you’re walking 3-4 times a week, you can increase the duration. Aim for 30-60 minutes each time. Day by day, try to walk a little bit longer each time. I like to use an audiobook or listen to good music. You can also find a good workout partner, this will even make it more likely for you to stick to the schedule.
If you manage to walk 3-4 times a week for 60 minutes, increase the speed of your exercise. Try to incorporate small jogging intervals in your walking. Don’t push yourself too hard. Make your training sustainable and enjoyable. At least for the beginning. With some time you will learn to appreciate the pain, in a non-masochistic way of course.
Featured photo credit: Pexel via pexels.com
Reference
[1]^NCBI: Be smart, exercise your heart: exercise effects on brain and cognition.[2]^NCBI: Effects of exercise training on coronary circulation: introduction.[3]^NCBI: Improvements in heart rate variability with exercise therapy
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Stacking Your Tech Stack for Mobile App Growth
Giulia is the VP of Marketing at TelTech, part of IAC’s Mosaic Group. In her role, Giulia leads the marketing strategy for RoboKiller, the best-in-class robocall blocker app (yes!) that fights back against spam calls using robots and machine-learning. Her background is colorful with roles at Harvard, Deerwalk (healthcare and data analytics), and marketing automation giant, Hubspot. Giulia has a passion for automation, branding, and data science.
Learn more from her Mobile Hero profile.
If building a best-in-class mobile tech stack is a challenge for your organization, you are not alone.
Many mobile marketers struggle to develop integrated data systems to support testing, user acquisition, and marketing automation at scale. Consequently, app marketers fail to capitalize on the competitive edge a strong tech stack can offer.
When we were first getting started with RoboKiller, our team built a solid multi-channel marketing strategy but faced limitations because we had not yet built the necessary tech systems to support it. By leveling up the tools we were using to support our growth, we were able to drive a 40% increase in revenue year-over-year.
So, whether you are just getting started with mobile app marketing or just looking to level-up marketing tools, I present to you… the four must-haves of your mobile tech stack.
1. A Solid Database of Your Own
This may seem straightforward, but getting your app’s internal database up to snuff is critical to the success of your marketing strategy, and to any third-party technology you use to support it.
What does this involve?
Developing a data taxonomy. Inventorying your app’s current events and data points that are and are not being collected and implementing a categorization and naming system for all teams to understand. Working with a data analyst and/or engineer for this exercise can be helpful to understand what can and can’t be tracked or analyzed.
Addressing your database structure. Ask your team; Do your data tables make sense? Is the structure of your database making SQL queries slow? How can you make your database more user-analysis-friendly?
Prioritizing data integrity. It’s not enough to implement events and start tracking. Ensuring that events are properly firing and the data that is collected by those events is accurate is critical to KPI tracking – especially for monetization events.
It’s critical that all teams in your business, including leadership, understand the importance of investing in data engineering resources to improve the structure and setup of your database to optimize. Doing this will provide your business with critical insight into KPI’s and user behavior. Plus, it will make your life easier when integrating with your third-party marketing tools.
2. A Mobile Measurement Partner
The growing mobile landscape of competitive user acquisition, demand for personalization, and increasing mobile fraud makes integrating a mobile measurement provider (MMP) essential, not optional, to your tech stack.
Mobile measurement partners determine which marketing channel or campaign is responsible for driving a mobile app install or in-app action for your app. Each MMP has an attribution model or a set of rules used to determine how to credit the appropriate channel with credit for an install or in-app-action conversion.
Source: AppsFlyer
MMP partners such as AppsFlyer and Adjust offer a suite of attribution and measurement tools, primarily:
Mobile marketing attribution: Attribution for app installs or post-install actions to the marketing campaign and media source responsible for it.
Deep linking: Custom universal tracking links that reduce friction in the user experience by sending users directly to the place they need to be within your app.
Fraud protection: A suite of tools designed to protect your marketing campaigns from known and emerging fraud trends.
At RoboKiller’s launch, we had the frankensystem of attribution tools. We used Google Firebase for product stability monitoring, we used Self Reporting Ad Networks (SRNs) to monitor paid install trends, and monitored events directly from the App Stores. The systems were disjointed with limited visibility into post-install actions. Oh, and none of our data matched.
Onboarding AppsFlyer immediately unlocked visibility into how different cohorts of new customers were driving key performance outcomes, and where we were most vulnerable to fraud. It was the source of truth we needed to stop spinning our wheels on mismatched data and focus on campaigns that were driving business results. In our first month, we were able to increase ROAS by 30%!
3. A Mobile-First Marketing Automation Platform
Mobile performance marketing can be so fasted-paced that it is easy (and exciting!) to focus on the new customers you’re generating. It is much harder to focus on the customers you want to retain – unless you have a marketing automation platform.
Marketing automation refers to tech that helps marketers more effectively market on multiple mediums and automate redundant tasks. According to Salesforce, 67% of marketing leaders say they use a marketing automation platform to fuel their strategy. Though there are over 30 vendors in the United States available to partner with, it is important that you chose a mobile-first marketing automation platform. Most standard services, such as HubSpot and Marketo, have limited app integration functionality that is designed for mobile marketers.
Mobile-first marketing automation platforms give you two very important things as a mobile marketer:
Seamless visibility into how your user base is retaining and responding to their customer experience post-install.
The ability to reach and influence customer action via communication; push, email, interstitial.
For RoboKiller, integrating Leanplum into our tech stack was integral in developing the customer retention initiatives that have driven our bottom line. Leanplum complimented AppsFlyer because it connected the dots between pre-install attribution and post-install customer behavior.
For example, using Leanplum data, we were able to identify that users in RoboKiller’s 7-day free trial were more likely to convert to subscribers if they interacted with our call feedback feature, which allows our customers to report details about a scam call and flag it for other RoboKiller users. To increase performance outcomes, we implemented push messaging campaigns that drove more cohorts of trial users to use this feature. As a result, we lifted trial conversion rates by 10%.
4. A Business Intelligence and Data Visualization Tool (That You Don’t Need SQL to Use)
So, you’ve cleaned up your internal data systems. You’ve onboarded a mobile measurement provider and are hard at work improving channel performance. You’ve found a mobile-first automation platform that helps you improve retention. How do you piece it all together?
Data visualization. The ability to centralize data and KPI’s in one location that is accessible to all stakeholders can not only help improve performance management, but increase buy-in on your growth strategy across the entire organization. This can be achieved by onboarding a business-intelligence (BI) platform.
There are a lot of BI tools out there that can help your business, the right decision ultimately depends on your objectives. If you are similar to our marketing team, your goal is likely to improve data visibility, KPI management, and collaboration. If so, choosing a business intelligence tool that prioritizes accessibility is key. If you are still data-soul-searching, consider asking the following questions:
Can this platform support the primary KPI’s every team needs to measure success? What about leadership?
Can this platform integrate with the platforms I need it to? If not, can it easily integrate with our database? How long will it take to integrate?
Can a “non-data-person” use this tool? Will data experts like using it?
Following TelTech’s acquisition by IAC, we inherited Looker as our BI platform. Looker quickly became our new favorite tool, because it quickly unlocked all the data points needed to measure team-level and business-level success. For marketers, this immediately removed the headache of requesting SQL queries from our data team, or manually updating marketing reports. A dream come true!
Wrapping it up
If you noticed a theme, aggregation, automation, and integration play a key role in the four most important tools in your tech stack. Making the right tech investment decisions at the right time for your mobile app can jumpstart marketing performance and improve collaboration across teams.
By translating our learnings into the context of your mobile marketing strategy’s needs, you too can build a world-class tech stack that will secure the long-term success of your mobile app.
The post Stacking Your Tech Stack for Mobile App Growth appeared first on Liftoff.
Stacking Your Tech Stack for Mobile App Growth published first on https://leolarsonblog.tumblr.com/
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How a Non-Native English Speaker Made An Affiliate Website That Earned $847 per Month https://ift.tt/2MeOVdN
Note from Spencer: As a heads up, this is guest post success story. I love a couple of things about this story from Erfan Uddin. First is the fact that he knew nothing about niche websites when he first got started. He shares his journey from total “newbie” to a site that made over $1,000 a month.
Second, he’s from Bangladesh; proving that it doesn’t matter where you live in the world…you can do this! (As a heads up, his English is pretty good, but not perfect. I’m leaving some of his grammatical mistakes in this post because I think the lessons he shares are more valuable than having perfect English). This also proves that a non-native English speaker can write and rank articles in English – Google isn’t concerned with perfect English, as long as you meet the searchers intent.
Finally, I should mention that my team and I over at MotionInvest.com bought Erfan’s site at the beginning of October and we are happy with the purchase! If you are looking to either buy or sell a content site, check us out at MotionInvest.com.
When I first started my niche blog website, two years ago, I had only $135 in my pocket. Believe it or not, it took me a little less than 1.5 years to hit the $1k earning in commissions.
Here’s a quick look at the total sessions of 2019.
And here’s the commission of the year 2019 till September:
Before I share my story let me introduce myself first.
This is Erfan Uddin, a mechanical engineer in the profession, an online enthusiast. I’m currently living in Bangladesh. Also, trying to create some online income stream so that I can quit my 9 to 5 job.
The only reason that pushed me into this industry is to live a comfortable life financially. I was completely broke when I started this website.
Back then I kept searching on Google typing “how to make money online with no money”! This might look hilarious now, but this was what I did. I was looking for a legit income source rather than jumping with a scam.
Somehow, I learned the term “passive income” and later stumbled upon this process of Amazon affiliate. Finally, I decided to take the course of Khalid Farhan as that was legit and affordable for me.
First, I went through the course and started implementing it. From the very beginning, I had a tough time working with the process as I was completely new with this area.
I had to learn keyword research, article writing, WordPress, SEO. Keyword research was the most crucial part and the hardest. In the end, the KW that I choose created this site. If that same KW is shown to me right now, I would leave it. It was hard back then and even harder now.
My suggestion here would be not to go after a keyword that is in the niche you love. Go after a keyword that is quite easy to rank for if only you have a tight budget.
After selecting a keyword I quickly generated some more keywords for supporting articles. On top of that, I found nichepursuits.com and followed their success stories and podcasts regularly. This helped me a lot in generating keyword ideas and article structure.
Right away, I bought a domain on 01 November 2017 from Namecheap and used their hosting as they had a great offer back then. Quickly, I set up WordPress and installed a free theme. Later on, I used a group buy process for the Genesis theme. Genesis themes are truly minimalist and fast.
WordPress setup was done and I ordered my first article to a writer. The quality of the article was not good but acceptable. That article never ranked as I said the keyword was too hard for me.
As the cost of article writing was not affordable for me I started reading about article writing. This cost me some time and the growth of the site came to a halt before it even started!
I quickly learned about the long-tail keyword and wrote a couple of articles based on it. This strategy worked for me. Following this strategy, I quickly published 08 posts within January 2018.
I added a couple of more content over the month of February and March 2018. Till then the traffic was not even mentionable. You can see that in the screenshot of my analytics:
See that? This tiny amount of sessions demotivated me already. I was ranking on the first page only for a couple of very low volume of easy keywords. I was about to lose hope and then came the first sale on Amazon. It was 31 March 2018 when I got the first sale!
This was when I planned for some real strategies. I am going to share those strategies and show you how I scaled it to $1K in commission.
Keyword Strategy
After the first commission, I decided to laser focus on a specific topic. As my domain selection was for an authority website, I niched them down. This was my first approach to building AUTHORITY on a topic.
I could not go after my primary keyword anymore as it was extremely competitive. Having said that, I jumped into long-tail keywords.
I’ll take “rangefinder” as an example here. Suppose, I found a keyword “best rangefinder”. This is super competitive and there’s some big fish on the first page. So, I would go for a keyword like “best rangefinder for hunting” which is way less competitive.
Well, yes, the search volume will be low like 250 p/m. But, normally those big sites do not target these laser-focused long-tail keywords. If you can find 5/6 keywords like this and rank on the 1st or 2nd spot, you can easily manage a minimum of 2000-3000 traffic per month only with these keywords. Believe me, this worked for me like a charm.
And for the informative keywords, I had great affection for these kinds of keywords. I love writing informative contents and most of the cases they are easy to rank for. I used google’s “people also look for” and “search suggestion” for finding these kinds of keywords.
However, you have to go in-depth for finding these kinds of keywords. I sometimes scraped my competitors for finding these keyword ideas.
Content Strategy
I really could not afford to hire a writer back then, in 2018. All the content was written by me. It took some time to get in shape but I put so much effort into learning article writing.
My concept was to fulfill the “searcher intent” of a keyword. I typed a keyword on google and looked at the “people also ask” and the “search suggestion” closely. It is like Google itself is telling you what users are looking for. And I tried to write as detailed as I can on those topics.
I am not going to talk about the format of an article as I really do not agree that there is any specific kind of format for “buying” or “informative” articles. All it matters is to give the user what he/she is looking for.
Going after this method worked well for me. The traffic started picking up from June 2018 till December 2018. You can see that in the screenshot.
And the earnings were like these in the last three month of 2018:
I know I know. The income is poor regarding the traffic. I’ll talk about it later.
Till December 2018, I had only 22 articles. 60% of those were informative content.
I wasn’t happy at all with the site performance. Then I decided to look for keywords that are:
“easy to rank”,
“has a search volume above 1000”,
“missing super informative content on the first page”.
I found some and wrote a super informative and detailed article on those. I was writing more informative articles than money articles. This process brought great traffic and increased my site authority.
For example, A keyword like “best time of the day to hunt deer” is the potential candidate for super information-rich content.
You can see the traffic in the year 2019 until September. It kept rising and was stable.
I published about 2/3 articles each month of the year 2019. As the earning increased I started sourcing articles from freelance writers. The site had a total 40 posts!
The only thing that I focused, was publishing content for the user. I tried to serve a user what he was looking for.
Backlink Strategy
This is the one area I had trouble with progress. Managing good quality backlinks were tough. Moreover, I had to start and learn about SEO from scratch.
I started with blog commenting and social profiles. Made some forum comments too. That did not bring any results at all.
Over the full year of 2018, I only did guest posting. It was hard and I really hated this part. Still, I was super afraid of PBN.
However, I managed to avail of some moderate quality guest posts on some decent sites. Good sites were asking sky-high prices!
In the year 2019, I focused on only two types of backlinks. Forum commenting and niche edits. In my opinion, having a link from an old post is way more effective than a newly published guest post.
Oh, I tried some Web 2.0 also in the middle of 2019. I was inspired by this as my competitors were doing it. And that worked for me too!
On-Page SEO
This was my most favorite part. It was the only place for me where I could play around by my wish. Yes, Google has its own theory. But, I played with the keyword density, H tags, internal linking to find out what works best.
I followed the instructions of famous SEO guys on this. My site had Yoast SEO plugin installed and I never waited for the GREEN signal to light up for on-page SEO. This GREEN signal is the silliest mistake that most newbie makes.
I created some extra notes within the content, like a featured area, targeting the featured snippet. For some it worked, for some, it didn’t.
Final Income Status
I worked hard and prayed. The results were satisfying. The income shot up in April and kept growing. Here’s what my income looked like:
March 2019: $215.81
April 2019: $505.21
May 2019: $1170.59
June: $911.59
July: $855.09
August: $836.66
September: $849.13
I setup Onelink in June 2019 for Canada and UK. UK did not bring anything at all. But, Amazon Canada brought about $100 per month since July 2019.
Final Thoughts
This income might not be even a dime for some people but this was huge for me!
Finally, I sold the site to Motioninvest.com on October 01, 2019. This was a great experience with them. No brokerage fee, super fast deal.
If you want to take something from this story I would say, focus on your content then backlink. Understand what the user is searching for and find the gaps in the top 10 results of the first page. Write content that fills the gap and sneak in that space!
One more thing I must mention, please use a table on your money pages for great conversion. My conversion rate was nearly doubled right after I used a comparison table plugin.
In a nutshell, the best way for achieving a goal is to start working hard right now. Learn and take action.
The post How a Non-Native English Speaker Made An Affiliate Website That Earned $847 per Month appeared first on Niche Pursuits.
from Niche Pursuits
Note from Spencer: As a heads up, this is guest post success story. I love a couple of things about this story from Erfan Uddin. First is the fact that he knew nothing about niche websites when he first got started. He shares his journey from total “newbie” to a site that made over $1,000 a month.
Second, he’s from Bangladesh; proving that it doesn’t matter where you live in the world…you can do this! (As a heads up, his English is pretty good, but not perfect. I’m leaving some of his grammatical mistakes in this post because I think the lessons he shares are more valuable than having perfect English). This also proves that a non-native English speaker can write and rank articles in English – Google isn’t concerned with perfect English, as long as you meet the searchers intent.
Finally, I should mention that my team and I over at MotionInvest.com bought Erfan’s site at the beginning of October and we are happy with the purchase! If you are looking to either buy or sell a content site, check us out at MotionInvest.com.
When I first started my niche blog website, two years ago, I had only $135 in my pocket. Believe it or not, it took me a little less than 1.5 years to hit the $1k earning in commissions.
Here’s a quick look at the total sessions of 2019.
And here’s the commission of the year 2019 till September:
Before I share my story let me introduce myself first.
This is Erfan Uddin, a mechanical engineer in the profession, an online enthusiast. I’m currently living in Bangladesh. Also, trying to create some online income stream so that I can quit my 9 to 5 job.
The only reason that pushed me into this industry is to live a comfortable life financially. I was completely broke when I started this website.
Back then I kept searching on Google typing “how to make money online with no money”! This might look hilarious now, but this was what I did. I was looking for a legit income source rather than jumping with a scam.
Somehow, I learned the term “passive income” and later stumbled upon this process of Amazon affiliate. Finally, I decided to take the course of Khalid Farhan as that was legit and affordable for me.
First, I went through the course and started implementing it. From the very beginning, I had a tough time working with the process as I was completely new with this area.
I had to learn keyword research, article writing, WordPress, SEO. Keyword research was the most crucial part and the hardest. In the end, the KW that I choose created this site. If that same KW is shown to me right now, I would leave it. It was hard back then and even harder now.
My suggestion here would be not to go after a keyword that is in the niche you love. Go after a keyword that is quite easy to rank for if only you have a tight budget.
After selecting a keyword I quickly generated some more keywords for supporting articles. On top of that, I found nichepursuits.com and followed their success stories and podcasts regularly. This helped me a lot in generating keyword ideas and article structure.
Right away, I bought a domain on 01 November 2017 from Namecheap and used their hosting as they had a great offer back then. Quickly, I set up WordPress and installed a free theme. Later on, I used a group buy process for the Genesis theme. Genesis themes are truly minimalist and fast.
WordPress setup was done and I ordered my first article to a writer. The quality of the article was not good but acceptable. That article never ranked as I said the keyword was too hard for me.
As the cost of article writing was not affordable for me I started reading about article writing. This cost me some time and the growth of the site came to a halt before it even started!
I quickly learned about the long-tail keyword and wrote a couple of articles based on it. This strategy worked for me. Following this strategy, I quickly published 08 posts within January 2018.
I added a couple of more content over the month of February and March 2018. Till then the traffic was not even mentionable. You can see that in the screenshot of my analytics:
See that? This tiny amount of sessions demotivated me already. I was ranking on the first page only for a couple of very low volume of easy keywords. I was about to lose hope and then came the first sale on Amazon. It was 31 March 2018 when I got the first sale!
This was when I planned for some real strategies. I am going to share those strategies and show you how I scaled it to $1K in commission.
Keyword Strategy
After the first commission, I decided to laser focus on a specific topic. As my domain selection was for an authority website, I niched them down. This was my first approach to building AUTHORITY on a topic.
I could not go after my primary keyword anymore as it was extremely competitive. Having said that, I jumped into long-tail keywords.
I’ll take “rangefinder” as an example here. Suppose, I found a keyword “best rangefinder”. This is super competitive and there’s some big fish on the first page. So, I would go for a keyword like “best rangefinder for hunting” which is way less competitive.
Well, yes, the search volume will be low like 250 p/m. But, normally those big sites do not target these laser-focused long-tail keywords. If you can find 5/6 keywords like this and rank on the 1st or 2nd spot, you can easily manage a minimum of 2000-3000 traffic per month only with these keywords. Believe me, this worked for me like a charm.
And for the informative keywords, I had great affection for these kinds of keywords. I love writing informative contents and most of the cases they are easy to rank for. I used google’s “people also look for” and “search suggestion” for finding these kinds of keywords.
However, you have to go in-depth for finding these kinds of keywords. I sometimes scraped my competitors for finding these keyword ideas.
Content Strategy
I really could not afford to hire a writer back then, in 2018. All the content was written by me. It took some time to get in shape but I put so much effort into learning article writing.
My concept was to fulfill the “searcher intent” of a keyword. I typed a keyword on google and looked at the “people also ask” and the “search suggestion” closely. It is like Google itself is telling you what users are looking for. And I tried to write as detailed as I can on those topics.
I am not going to talk about the format of an article as I really do not agree that there is any specific kind of format for “buying” or “informative” articles. All it matters is to give the user what he/she is looking for.
Going after this method worked well for me. The traffic started picking up from June 2018 till December 2018. You can see that in the screenshot.
And the earnings were like these in the last three month of 2018:
I know I know. The income is poor regarding the traffic. I’ll talk about it later.
Till December 2018, I had only 22 articles. 60% of those were informative content.
I wasn’t happy at all with the site performance. Then I decided to look for keywords that are:
“easy to rank”,
“has a search volume above 1000”,
“missing super informative content on the first page”.
I found some and wrote a super informative and detailed article on those. I was writing more informative articles than money articles. This process brought great traffic and increased my site authority.
For example, A keyword like “best time of the day to hunt deer” is the potential candidate for super information-rich content.
You can see the traffic in the year 2019 until September. It kept rising and was stable.
I published about 2/3 articles each month of the year 2019. As the earning increased I started sourcing articles from freelance writers. The site had a total 40 posts!
The only thing that I focused, was publishing content for the user. I tried to serve a user what he was looking for.
Backlink Strategy
This is the one area I had trouble with progress. Managing good quality backlinks were tough. Moreover, I had to start and learn about SEO from scratch.
I started with blog commenting and social profiles. Made some forum comments too. That did not bring any results at all.
Over the full year of 2018, I only did guest posting. It was hard and I really hated this part. Still, I was super afraid of PBN.
However, I managed to avail of some moderate quality guest posts on some decent sites. Good sites were asking sky-high prices!
In the year 2019, I focused on only two types of backlinks. Forum commenting and niche edits. In my opinion, having a link from an old post is way more effective than a newly published guest post.
Oh, I tried some Web 2.0 also in the middle of 2019. I was inspired by this as my competitors were doing it. And that worked for me too!
On-Page SEO
This was my most favorite part. It was the only place for me where I could play around by my wish. Yes, Google has its own theory. But, I played with the keyword density, H tags, internal linking to find out what works best.
I followed the instructions of famous SEO guys on this. My site had Yoast SEO plugin installed and I never waited for the GREEN signal to light up for on-page SEO. This GREEN signal is the silliest mistake that most newbie makes.
I created some extra notes within the content, like a featured area, targeting the featured snippet. For some it worked, for some, it didn’t.
Final Income Status
I worked hard and prayed. The results were satisfying. The income shot up in April and kept growing. Here’s what my income looked like:
March 2019: $215.81
April 2019: $505.21
May 2019: $1170.59
June: $911.59
July: $855.09
August: $836.66
September: $849.13
I setup Onelink in June 2019 for Canada and UK. UK did not bring anything at all. But, Amazon Canada brought about $100 per month since July 2019.
Final Thoughts
This income might not be even a dime for some people but this was huge for me!
Finally, I sold the site to Motioninvest.com on October 01, 2019. This was a great experience with them. No brokerage fee, super fast deal.
If you want to take something from this story I would say, focus on your content then backlink. Understand what the user is searching for and find the gaps in the top 10 results of the first page. Write content that fills the gap and sneak in that space!
One more thing I must mention, please use a table on your money pages for great conversion. My conversion rate was nearly doubled right after I used a comparison table plugin.
In a nutshell, the best way for achieving a goal is to start working hard right now. Learn and take action.
The post How a Non-Native English Speaker Made An Affiliate Website That Earned $847 per Month appeared first on Niche Pursuits.
October 14, 2019 at 03:31PMhttps://https://ift.tt/33zd70p https://ift.tt/2Mypzq4
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Why offer 24 hour locksmith service?
24 Hour Locksmith Services?
The 24-hour locksmith service allows Alibaba Locksmith to always be available to its customers. In case of emergency, you cannot wait until morning. If you are locked out of your home, car or office, your day does not stop due to inconvenience. If your house is stolen, then you need new locks immediately. Coverage 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, is the only way we can offer assistance when people need it.
Why do I need a 24 hour locksmith?
If you have an emergency that requires a locksmith near your area, outside normal business hours, you will need a locksmith 24 hours a day. If you do not have an emergency, you may still require the services of a 24-hour locksmith. Non-emergency calls can be scheduled in advance. When the hours you keep make it more convenient for a night date, a 24-hour locksmith is the best option.
Does a 24 hour locksmith cost more?
This is a tough question. The short answer is not necessarily. The long answer is that certain times of the day are more likely to cost more. Very early in the morning and very late at night are the times when the locksmiths will charge more. For business owners and technicians, this is one of the incentives to manage a 24-hour locksmith. Anything in that gray area where you would have to think if it is sooner or later are the premium hours. At any other time of the day, the cost should be based on more tangible parts of the job. Make sure you are not scammed. Find out the price before starting work, and do not agree unless you are satisfied with the cost.
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What does it take to be a 24 hour locksmith?
You need a person at a certain time in your life, in a certain area, with a wide variety of skills. Usually this is a youth game. There is a desire to work harder to gain experience and money. Young people also have the energy to work the long and erratic hours. Then, at the other end of the spectrum, there are empty nesters. Older members of the locksmith community who are in a position similar to the younger crowd. More than the incentive to earn extra money, this kind of cheap locksmith is more in the sense of purpose. It's about staying busy and keeping the business. In addition to age, it also takes the correct location (see: How often does a locksmith leave 24 hours a night?). Finally, it comes down to locksmith's skills. An emergency locksmith must have a wide range of tools and a wide range of knowledge. Beyond that, they must also be able to solve unique and challenging problems. It is a high stress job that requires training, preparation and ingenuity.
Do 24 hour locksmiths turn down work?
Usually not. Being a 24-hour locksmith means you are committed to helping the public in times of emergency. The business model of the company, or individual, could also hinder the rejection of any job. Some exceptions include when the locksmith suspects that work is a joke. Similarly, if the locksmith suspects that the job may be a configuration, he may refuse it. It is known that mobile technicians are retained for their work vehicles, tools and cash. Most of the time, even if some kind of foul play is suspected, a locksmith will continue to take the job. They can take another technician to accompany them, or simply be more cautious. Even if a locksmith refuses the job, professional courtesy will have him refer it to another company or technician. When the locksmith is currently in another job, or is too busy, he may also be forced to refuse the job. If you are using a company like Alibaba Locksmith, all this drama will happen behind the scenes, so the only news you will get is that your locksmith is on the way.
What type of work does a 24 hour locksmith do?
A twenty-four hour locksmith does the same tasks as a standard locksmith. The difference is only in the hours they maintain. However, due to these hours, the probability of some tasks is greater than others. Daytime hours are the standard rate because that is when most locksmiths are open. The night and the first hours of the morning are those that a locksmith takes advantage of 24 hours. Mainly these are blockages. Locks are when someone has forgotten or lost the keys to a house, office or vehicle and requires immediate access to your property. This may also include removing a broken key, Lost car keys, Car key, Car key cutting, Master lock, Key fob, Shops near me, Key cutting, Key cutting near me, Services near me, Door lock, lock, Home security, Window lock, Cheap Locksmith near me, Commercial Door Locksmith, Key worker housing, Key house, lock and key, Key copy, Key copy near me, Keyless door lock, Electronic door lock, making a new key, etc. Other nighttime emergencies may come from law enforcement who request help entering a building. A house that has been stolen may also need new locks immediately. Security consultations and evaluations rarely occur at night.
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