#buddie is endgame change my mind

[iced-coffee-jesus]

I have decided, I want canon Eddie realizes his feelings first, but I want Buck to confess first. So then they both lean in to kiss each other at the same time <3

[dadvans]

i am just so sad right now. like going into s8 i didn’t think bucktommy would be endgame, but the way s8 started changed my mind, so to have them be literally so in love for 5 episodes straight just to have them break up in the most abrupt way?? it just feels so last minute which is shocking because in the interviews this was apparently a planned thing but it doesn’t feel like it at all. Like if this was a concern Tommy had why didn’t it come up at all? like little throwaway lines of Tommy making jokes of Buck getting sick of him or wanted to explore other options or whatever. I hope the backlash makes them rethink, and Tommy comes back but for now it doesn’t seem like it. I guess my only hope is that Buddie goes canon, but even then i won’t be able to really enjoy it. I seriously don’t know if i’ll be able to keep watching the show, not solely because they broke up, but because of how they broke up. (srry for the long ask, just needed to vent)

no apologies needed!

at the end of the day, so many of us found joy in their story, their chemistry, the way even up until the final second tommy admitted that what he wanted with buck was something that would inevitably break his heart.

they were good together. tommy fit into so many intimidating parts of buck's life with ease. tommy is (as far as we know) still good friends with buck's best friend! tommy loved him anyway, loved him warts and all, road shotgun to buck's worst fears and weirdest conspiracies.

at the end of the day, we have a few things:

we GOT them. we got to see them together, we got the soft looks, we got the kisses, the foundation of them that is real and canon in a way we could strike like a match against the edge of a box to light them up for real all over again. i don't think "being canon" gives any credence or superiority to a ship, and have shipped people or characters that have never interacted/existed together in a tangible way, simply because it's FUN. that's how i'll always have fun with ships and fandom, BUT! what a wonderful thing to celebrate that we DID have them, that we have this as a foundation for whatever comes next, that there is never a door permanently closed to them finding each other again when it was already real from the start

for a lot of us, this isn't how their story ends. it's insane that so much fic and content was produced for a canon ship like this. so often fandom is chasing down the what-ifs and never-hads. a lot of us invested in bucktommy because they had the compatibility, the fit, the chemistry, the potential. that's novel shit! that doesn't just evaporate because they broke up in canon. it certainly hurts. the kind of hype we were surfing will crash and sink back in the oncoming months, but i know talking to a lot of people tonight that we aren't done with this ship. we aren't ready to say goodbye.

i'm sad. i'm angry. i felt a real sense of queer euphoria whenever i saw them together, even for 30 seconds, teetering on the edge of this new couple joy learning each other into something new and weird and fun that always lingered as a promise on the edge of their interactions. i was so excited for who buck could become with tommy as his home base. shifting that has rocked me in a bad way.

i expect people to inevitably step away from this ship and this fandom, but i'll mention that non-canon ships like arthur/eames or mcshep or social network rpf or short-lived shows from 1996 (hi sentinel) have had long-lived fandoms and left long-lasting impressions in other fandoms that have lasted for over a decade of zero additional content. this is a playground that, just because they've parted ways for now, we don't have to stop playing in.

and i'll be honest: i have several WIPs i'm like, well trash that! after watching the most recent episode. but i also have a dozen new ideas. new ways they could fall in love now or again, new ways they could meet, new ways they could be for each other.

i'll keep creating. i'll keep dreaming. they won't ever not have the spark that they had. the show could end tomorrow but we'll always have an open door to believing and shaping the thousands of ways they can and will find each other again.

[justchillandshipit]

More thoughts:

I linked a post below that has me thinking about Tommy's actions & Eddie's place in the narrative. In retrospect, I 100% believe Tommy knows and understands that Eddie is likely going to be Buck's last. (as much as anybody can know this sort of thing.) I know Tim and Oliver said Eddie had nothing to do with the obstacles in Buck's relationship, but I think that was a partial truth on their part. Technically, Buck does spiral because of Abby and #stagefoureddiediaz has talked about the way Buck is still stuck on the hamster wheel. I think both of these things are part of the obstacles mentioned in one of Oliver's interviews. However, if you look only at those things, you overlook the Pink Eddie in the room. While I agree that Eddie didn't interfere or try to stop Buck & Tommy from being together, his friendship with Buck has remained a constant. (see the link at the very bottom for more about Eddie in the narrative.) If you check out Buddielifer's post, several good points demonstrate the breakup was about Eddie. I'll try to avoid repeating what was said there as I explain. My opinion does differ on a few small points, but I'll get to that later.

Ok. I'm going to talk about Tommy a little but stick with me. This is a Buddie post. I promise, and I do have a point. I do believe Buck was attracted to Tommy, not because he had some great destiny to be the love of Buck's life, but because he did a few really cool things while helping to save Bobby & Athena's lives. Plus, Tommy did it in the coolest way possible. Helicopter pilots are cool, or they would be if they weren't dating one-half of your favorite ship. lol. Before the kiss, Buck wasn't self-aware enough to fully engage with his sexuality, I suspect that he handled his attraction to Tommy the way he handled it with other men before we knew him as a firefighter.

As we saw in a flashback, when Buck met a man he felt attracted to, he processed those feelings by befriending him. It was the same with Tommy. That is why he was at the hangar that day. When he offered to buy Tommy a beer, I truly think Buck thought he was making a new friend. If you think about it, you can see this was a pattern for Buck. He did have a meltdown over Eddie when they first met (but with Eddie, bigger things were and are still in play) It doesn't change the fact that once Buck got past his initial jealousy or whatever that was, he threw himself all in with Eddie. It was part of his pattern and part of #stagefour's hamster wheel. (Endgame will have Buck get off the wheel and look around. The person standing there was never part of the wheel, but the person waiting for him to stop and get off of it.)

The situation with Tommy is probably closer to how Buck reacted to his friend who wanted Buck as a sperm donor. Buck actually followed that 'friend' to Peru. I have a post from a while back where I discuss Buck sending mixed signals. In his mind, he is making a friend, but he is also unconsciously flirting. Tommy was the first to push through and just kiss Buck. I don't think this was nefarious so much as an attempt to interpret the signals Buck was sending. (I'm sure many see Tommy as having bad intentions but stick with me. I'm trying to put him into the context where Tim claimed he wanted him to be seen. Tommy was supposed to be a mentor or a more experienced man helping Buck navigate this side of himself.) As a teacher, Tommy did help him navigate, but he also let Buck set the pace. Although never shown, we know Buck is a very sexual being, and the deleted scene with Tommy, Hen, and Karen confirmed that Tommy was just trying to keep up with him.

But I digress. Buck's intention to befriend Tommy ended the exact moment that Eddie showed up at the hangar with a huge smile on his face. Stoic Eddie who does not show his emotions was smiling hugely. Even though this is from Buck's perspective and he is an unreliable narrator, it is plausible to me that Eddie would be excited to go to a live fight in Vegas. Oliver and Tim have talked a lot over the past few weeks about how Buck spirals. When Eddie left with Tommy, Buck began to spiral in a way that we have never seen before or since. He was absolutely unhinged with jealousy. There is no way that Buck, who didn't even ask about Tommy's dating history until six months into the relationship, was that insane to get the attention of a man he has known for a few days or weeks. Now that we are pulling in new material from the current season, it isn't even remotely believable that Buck's reaction was about Tommy.

If Buck had experienced some sort of love-at-first-sight moment with Tommy, then he would have asked Tommy about his past at the beginning of the relationship. In fact, people entering into something serious generally ask about past partners in the first few weeks of getting to know each other or before sex. The fact that Buck didn't, is a change in pattern for him. Buck typically throws himself all in and then when things go wrong, he doesn't know how he got there. (Also part of the hamster wheel.) However, I attribute the difference this time to the fact that, subconsciously, Buck knows what he's feeling. He can use his body. (borderline sex addict). However, he can't bring himself to share with Tommy what he already shares with Eddie, but you know our unaware cowboy can't see it yet.

At the hangar, Tommy didn't have a feel for Buck yet. However, by the end of the Vegas trip, I think he had picked up a good idea from Eddie that there was something there. (not because Eddie has made some sort of confession, but because I'm confident that Eddie talked about Buck nonstop. I'm hoping that we get some sort of confirmation of this in the current season. I don't want it to be forgotten.) At any rate, whatever conclusions Tommy drew from his time in Vegas with Eddie and the time they spent hanging out afterward didn't bother him enough to refuse to date Buck. I do think Tommy was longing for the family and support he could see Buck has with the 118, but I don't think he was ever planning a wedding in his head. In fact, I know he wasn't. That's part of why he broke up with Buck.

Sidenote: (Thanks to StageFourEddieDiaz, for pointing out how Buck failed to understand the mission from Josh's speech because this is what caused Buck to shift from not letting Tommy get too close to asking Tommy to move in with him.) Until the conversation with Josh, Buck was actively shutting Tommy out of anything other than sex and possibly learning the ins and outs of the LGBTQ community.

Again, in the beginning, this didn't bother Tommy. He knew what Buck needed, and as he stated a few times during the sixth episode, Buck was hot and fun. If you need examples of Buck shutting Tommy out, I point you to anything that happened in the Halloween episode. I'm not saying Buck didn't care about Tommy at all, but he was holding back. The look on Buck's face as Josh asked about his feelings really said it all. I think this is probably why Josh was a little shy of the mark when giving his speech about comphet. Josh had to give a long list of, "Do you feel "this or that" for your boyfriend of six months," before he finally hit on something that Buck did feel. I don't want to get off topic or repeat too much from the linked post, I just wanted to illustrate that the jealousy from Buck's coming out episode was 100% for Eddie and that it was something that Tommy realized before entering the relationship.

I know there will be some disagreement here, but I also feel like Tommy's feelings for Buck actually were on the verge of changing, and he hadn't expected that. When they were standing at the grave, Buck gave his eulogy directed to Billy Boils. Tommy's face went through a series of changes. First, he seemed annoyed or concerned. I couldn't quite tell, but the more Buck talked, the more you could see of our Buck. The guy with a huge heart who can empathize with the skeletal remains of a criminal. I'll link the clip for you to judge. What Buck had to say to Billy was more open and revealed more about Buck's character than anything he had been saying to Tommy over the past six months. It was a small scene, but one that probably came back to Tommy when Buck suggested moving in together.

It was scenes like this one combined with Tommy's exclusion from group chat, etc., that probably helped to remind him that Buck's feelings six months ago were not about him and nothing had changed despite Buck's suggestion that he move in. Tommy's insecurities took over and reminded him what the inevitable end was going to be for them. He was the first not the last.

For the past six months, he's known that Eddie was between them, but you could see how comfortable he was with it. He didn't seem annoyed by Eddie's presence at all. I disagree with either Tim or Oliver when they try to play up that Tommy was Eddie's friend and this was natural. Eddie and Buck met Tommy at the same time, and Tommy was trying to shoot his shot by taking Eddie to Vegas. I don't know what was discussed between Eddie & Tommy during those few weeks where Buck was being left out, but it is clear that whatever conclusion he had drawn from the Vegas trip had been solidified by what happened on the basketball court, so much so that he wanted to apologize to Buck in person. We all know how that went, and I still think that was a good scene.

This brings me to the breakup scene itself. In the end, when Tommy talks about how he didn't see it coming. I don't think he was referring to the breakup. I think he was referring to the feelings he caught close to the end. He thought he would help Buck, provide a safe space for Buck to explore that he personally didn't have, and have some fun with a hot young thing, but he let it go too far. (His reasons are pretty much part of what Tim has said in interviews.) I don't think Tommy realized how much he had gotten caught up in the fantasy of Buck until Buck asked him to move in with him. I do think he's sincere when he says his heart would end up broken because, despite his feelings, he still understands there is something between Buck and Eddie even if they don't.

(One side note. I agree with Buck that first and last can be the same thing. I don't buy into the belief that you have to be with dozens of sexual partners, but I also don't think that would have been the case with Buck. He is a sexual character, and he's openly curious. I know people were mad about the interview where Oliver talked about letting Buck F#ck, but I think that would be in character for an upset Buck who was just dumped. It is less about his sexuality than it is about his abandonment issues and neglect trauma. That's my take anyway. We'll see what Tim does with it. I do think the part of Buck that craves monogamy already belongs to someone else, and the di was cast before Tommy came into his life, and we are back again to the hamster wheel.)

If you stuck with me this long, thank you. I know there are few, if any, fans of Tommy around here so I appreciate that you were willing to objectively view him the way Tim kept trying to present him. I'm tired and I'm pretty sure I rambled a couple of times, but I do understand Tommy is a problematic character. I consider that to be a writing issue that never got a satisfying resolution. I'm equally aware some people hate him simply because he was with Buck. I'm not doing a lot of judging these days because I already know how unreasonable I'm going to be over Eddie being with another man. After seven seasons of subtext, they are already in love. These other relationships are like cheating. lol I'm not so secretly hoping that if Eddie needed a "first" he got it when he was a teenager or when he was in Afghanistan.

I can tell I'm going to be bad because when I see posts about Eddie sleeping with a priest, I want to scream into a pillow and pretend that I'm flipping over furniture and tossing chairs across the room. I just can't be reasonable. I would never attack the actors or writers though. That's not me. My jealousy is on Buck's behalf, and my bad behavior remains entirely inside my head. I don't know what they'll do with Eddie, but they are going to need a chat group to make sure Eddie's boyfriends do not meet with Buck's subconscious mind.

Click here to see the meta on Eddie Haunting the Narrative from #buddielifers.

[laz-kay]

Having analysed both Brad Bakshi and David Brittlesbee's characters so heavily over the course of the last few years, I can safely say that my theory of them being endgame has solidified.

Now, "endgame" doesn't necessarily mean they need to become romantically involved. I'm saying this as a diehard BradDavid shipper (maybe the BradDavid shipper), but there's a strong probability we have - in fact - been queerbaited with these two mfs. Shocking, I know.

We know there's a female character making an appearance in a later episode, and she's - supposedly - an ex lover of Brad's. I, for one, am thrilled we're getting an insight into Brad's personal life, and I think people are losing sight of that. There is every possibility Brad and David are two straight guys, and I still believe - with this theory - they belong together somehow.

There have been far too many circumstances where David and Brad have found comfort in each other, have shown vulnerability with each other, and have shared interests. The parallels between their characters - despite them being completely juxtaposed versions of the other - are stifling.

Being together doesn't automatically constitute a romantic relationship. Maybe these two trauma-filled individuals deserve to have someone who listens to them, who helps them become a better version of themself, and makes their life that little bit easier.

Brad and David are opposite ends of the same spectrum. The spectrum here being "fear of rejection and getting hurt". They go about hiding this phobia is completely different ways. David - being the open book he is - forces us to think nothing else is going on underneath his surface. He lays it out for all of us to see so we needn't ask about his mental health or his greatest fears, because we believe we already know everything there is to know.

Brad, on the other hand, is ambiguous as fuck. He's an aloof guy who's masquerading as a sociopathic capitalist in order to keep people distant. Keeping people distant - and somewhat frightened of you - means there'll be no questions. No questions means no opportunity for vulnerability, hence no reason to get hurt by any of his colleagues.

Analysing from the first season, it's apparent how much the two have changed; how much they're moving along the spectrum towards each other. Evolving, if you will. David has become more closed off, and Brad - miraculously - has opened himself up to helping people without any ulterior motive/self-gain.

It’s almost as if their job roles have shifted too. David becoming more corporate based and Brad leaning towards creative because of Dana. All David seems to talk about right now is monetary value and how COVID was great because it gave the video game franchise so much revenue. And Brad, despite having money at the back of his mind at all times, does have the creative team at heart. Every financial decision Brad has forced down the team’s throats has somehow benefitted creative more than corporate. Battle Royale? The Casino? Playpennies?

It's as if they're closing in on each other somehow; becoming more like the other because it makes them a better person? Their initial plans of hiding their fears haven't worked, so why not try the mirrored response?

Look, they both come from abusive households, have a crippling fear of losing people close to them, and hate showing vulnerability. There's a lot that is different too, but it's become increasingly obvious that these two dorks need each other in their lives. As friends and companions.

When David asked Brad to help him move, I'm convinced he thought he and Brad were already best friends. Hell, they'd worked together for the better part of a decade, still shared an office at that time, consistently called each other during lockdown to play a dumb video game for a bet, and Brad even helped David find a girlfriend. I'd believe we were buddies if I were David.

Brad is never seen without a long sweater/shirt on. During "Quarantine" when he's on a solo call with David, we see him for the first time in a short sleeved shirt exposing his arms. Almost like a subliminal way of letting Brad express vulnerability without meaning to. He's very slowly becoming softer and more "David-ish", and that's probably a good thing.

Idk, man. I just think these nerds need to get a shift on and move in together or something. Sit and have wine nights and talk about their shared trauma because societal norms suck and men should talk more and have more friends. They need to look after each other, because it's quite clear no one else is/will for a while.

[its-not-nothing]

I have to say that Tommy himself is, for me, one of the worst relationships they could have put in, either for Buck or even for Eddie (because in the original idea Tommy was the plot device for Eddie and his sexual orientation, not Buck). All of Eddie and Buck's previous interests were, overall, good people or had something that made them likable at the time, for example I liked Ana, she wasn't to blame for how the relationship ended and Eddie's own feelings on the subject. On the other hand, despite everything, I also liked Taylor, personally it was Buck's relationship that in certain ways truly made me nervous, since you could see how it could become an endgame for Buck. But Tommy? the whole situation is kind of gross, like he wanted to get into Eddie's pants (because let's be real that's what he wanted, I don't see him being the understanding and concerned type of partner, also it would never have worked because Chris will always be Eddie's option 1 and Tommy would never understand that, so he would probably leave him shortly after sleepong with him), even so going from a guy to his best friend, I don't know but it seems so disgusting to me, maybe because this situation never happened before, Buck and Eddie's love interests or temporary partners were always interested in them and never like "this didn't work out, I'll go for the other one". So all this makes Tommy a character, if we can call him so empty of content and like someone disgusting and above all who wanted everything that the 118 (found family) had built with years and effort without doing anything to earn it.

Yeah, I basically agree with this. I think the original idea with Eddie was to use him as a way to get Eddie out, but not as a love interest. There probably would've been one kiss only, Eddie kinda spirals and starts his sexuality arc, and that's it, no more Tommy. But they changed the plan last second, and then decided to extend Tommy's stay in the show when they rewrote 7B. So they were basically "stuck" with him as a LI for Buck. It's pretty clear they never wanted to develop him, because they always knew he wouldn't last, and so he got the Marisol treatment. Taylor, on the other hand, could've been an endgame love interest for Buck if bi Buck was blocked by fox, so she was written with that in mind. And Ana... oh my god. I love the Ana arc so much. She was literally perfect: beautiful (the actress is so fucking pretty?!), smart, understanding, great with Christopher... And then they really made Eddie have panic attacks because he didn't LOVE her. That's insane. If that wasn't the start of a gay Eddie arc, I don't know what that was. She didn't even have big flaws or some incompatibility with Eddie, no, the only reason he broke up with her if because of lack of romantic feelings. That's just crazy.

Anyway, back to Buck, I agree that the relationship with Tommy didn't work because we simply didn't see what Buck even liked about him (or what Tommy liked about Buck). Masks is the biggest evidence of their lack of chemistry: they're just awkward, and we don't understand why these two people even are in a romantic relationship. Sometimes I wish we could've had another guy to be Buck's first boyfriend because I wish I could find them cute and ship it too while waiting for buddie... but alas, Tim decided to bring back that one racist character from season 2, thinking it would just be for 4 episodes max. So yeah, Tommy was never supposed to be a real love interest, and he was previously a character who just wasn't a good person, that's why he's underdeveloped and kinda sucks. Hey at least Tom knew better than to pretend he was this great changed person now! The fact that he has character flaws and doesn't make the best choices just... kinda tracks with his "past". He's just a shitty person. What doesn't make sense is why Buck would want to be with a guy like that, but we got bi Buck out of it, so... I guess it's not all bad. I actually like him more now since the "competition" line and the scoffTM, more of this please!! Also I would die for a Eddie/Tommy conversation now, come on Tim do this for me!

[lover-of-mine]

Hi, hi, hello, here I am again to sound insane about buddie. First, is this speculation? A meta? A canon adjacent fic idea I don't have the skill to execute? Wishful thinking? All of the above? I'm not sure, I just saw a pattern and my brain came up with something very elaborate that I will now tell you about. Also, maybe read this first because that connection is the one that pushed this into place, and if you want more thoughts on Buck and death.

So, if you're new here, I live in a delusional land called they casted Ryan with a plan that recently added a neighborhood called did they tell Ryan Eddie is Buck's endgame? so I'm always looking for something to prove me right because I refuse to believe someone accidentally set up what could be the slow burn to end all slow burns, and I found an interesting pattern after watching Abandon ‘Ships and things escalated. 

But the thing is that Buck and Eddie's relationship is tied with the concept of death. Both of them have very intricate relationships with death individually, but together too. I was thinking about the “we might end up real close” as the very dark joke Buck was actually going for, with the way if that grenade had gone off, there would be no telling them apart in the blast, but it got me thinking about the way Buck is signing up to die with Eddie. They both walk into that ambulance knowing they might very well not walk out, and the fact that they did, is what makes them bond. The wording of “you can have my back any day” is very interesting to me because Eddie is not saying “I will take care of you” he is saying “I trust you to take care of me” and that's a real intense thing to say to the coworker who was picking a fight with you half an hour before. But they bonded over a promise of keeping each other alive that they were forced to keep over and over again. 

And a lot of major changes in their relationship start with a deadly situation. They could have died pancaked on that building after the earthquake, and after that Chris got introduced into their dynamic. The truck explosion had Eddie reversing into being a medic to treat Buck even though it made more sense for him to be using his strength to help lift the truck. The tsunami started the realization that Buck loves Chris like he is his kid, and also had Eddie explicitly affirming the trust he has in Buck. The well made Eddie change his will. That warehouse fire on Buck Begins, Eddie is the first one to Buck's line and he's also waiting for Buck after he gets checked out. Buck saved Eddie's life during the shooting, the will reveal also established how well Eddie knows Buck. They got held at gunpoint together and Buck's automatic reaction to the gunshot is to run towards it because Eddie might be in danger. Buck broke Eddie's door down to help him after his breakdown that was triggered by death, and Buck also had a moment where he thought he would be finding Eddie's body. And Buck actually gives Eddie hope after it all by giving Eddie a good thing about the situation that led him to get shot. 

We established this pattern, but I want to talk about the lightning in more detail because, unlike any situation before, Buck actually died. Eddie doesn't hesitate to go up what's basically a wet lightning rod to get to Buck after the strike even though he had been thrown off the truck, Eddie also performs CPR even though he was driving the ambulance, and it is Eddie shocking Buck that gets his heart beating again. It's almost as if he was, I don't know, welcoming him back to the world of the living? (Ba dum tss lol this is mostly a joke but please keep this in mind)

So we have Eddie literally bringing Buck back from the dead. But Buck is not ready to deal with the consequences and implications of what happened to him, which is understandable, I guess, with his relationship with life and death, but Buck not dealing with it makes it so Eddie won't fully deal with it either. 

Buck is a passively suicidal savior baby and Eddie is a widower. If Daniel didn't get sick Buck wouldn't have been born and Eddie is the last one standing. And that's a lot about how they deal with death. Buck acts as if he's not looking for death but doesn't mind if death finds him and Eddie is burdened by the people he couldn't save. And the thing with Buck's death is that Buck realized that he does care if death finds him and Eddie thinks that since Buck is alive, he doesn't get to feel the grief for the time Buck was dead, not fully at least. 

So they were at a very interesting point where Eddie is constantly around Buck, and is the place Buck runs to when he gets overwhelmed, and Buck is extremely off balance over the fact that he did die this time and he's not sure how to feel about it. But since Buck wasn't ready to look at everything about his death, how he felt about it, how it affected the people he loves, how it took away his coping mechanism when it comes to being in danger since his reaction was always “but I didn't die” or “I didn't get the worst of it” because he did die and he did get the worst of it, so Buck finds a safe place to hide where he can look at his death through the eyes of someone who wasn't affected by it. 

I was always curious about why the cemetery scene happened in a cemetery. Why Buck and Eddie are visiting the grave of someone who didn't die on their watch. Why a conversation about Buck's feelings about death and wanting to forget it happened, happened in a cemetery. And the location of the conversation ties the conversation to the concept of death in the broad sense that keeps tying Buck and Eddie together. Not considering the breakup aspects of the conversation, the cemetery scene is actually about Buck running away from the way death made him feel, he is drawn to this person who thinks death is cool, so he won't have to see his death as a tragedy and now I also think there is a layer about making Eddie realize he needs to let Buck accept what happened before he can help Buck past it. 

In the locker room, Buck is talking about death as something that got boring since it was all Natalia ever wanted to talk about. We will never know the original plan for that relationship, but considering the focus on her being a death doula, I feel like that was always the point, put Buck in a space where he can look at death as something that's not scary anymore. But the scene also ends with Eddie welcoming him back to the world of the living. Eddie has ridiculous survival skills, Buck survived a lot, yeah, but Buck always ends up in these life-or-death situations by accident. He choked on bread, the bomb wasn't aimed at him, the blood clots were a very unlikely complication of the surgery he had on his leg, the odds of getting caught in a tsunami are ridiculously low, and he got struck by lightning. Eddie was out at war, he was targeted by a sniper, he saved his own life on the well, and he tries to pull people out with him. He has now learned to live with the way everyone he saved on that chopper died, but he even blamed himself for the one guy he couldn't save that time. Eddie is not afraid of death, but he is afraid of being the one left alive. Buck on the other hand is almost afraid of what it means that he is alive. So Buck's passively suicidal tendencies, something that Eddie deeply understands about Buck “you act like you're expendable” are something that scares him. Because pre-lightning Buck doesn't really care if he is alive. And since Buck wasn’t ready to talk about what dying did to him, Eddie doesn’t know that Buck now may want to actually live. He doesn’t know that Buck chose to come back, that he fought for it. 

But if death is now something boring, Buck can actually do something about being alive because he wants to. He can actually be in the world of the living because he wants to be, because he believes he has the right to be. He can actually find a place where he doesn’t believe his life matters less. 

And when it comes to Eddie, with the focus on Shannon that we got recently, he can also find a space where he’s not trying to find her. Accept that she was a big part of his life, accept he will always miss her, and find something new. 

Oliver and Ryan have been talking a lot about vulnerability and Buck and Eddie leaning on each other, and with the locker room conversation, their relationship with death individually and together, the fact that the cruise disaster is on the horizon and while we know Buck and Eddie were filming in cruise and out in the sea they are barely in the promo of it, my own Buck will drown speculations (you can read about that here), and the general they will be in danger on the cruise feelings, I think that could mean Buck and Eddie are moving to a place where they could be a couple that works. There’s a lot of talk about the friendship aspect of their relationship and we’ve seen that a lot in the first episode already, but they are chilling in this space where they can talk to each other freely, and getting Buck to a place where he wants to be alive for himself not for what he can offer other people and Eddie to a place where he accepts the people he couldn’t save without it narrowing the way he deals with his relationships. I talk a lot about how Eddie overcorrects, and one complaint Shannon had was that he wasn’t all the way in with her, so he goes too fast with Ana and might be doing the same with Marisol because he’s trying to fix that mistake with someone else, but accepting that what he has with Buck is its own thing that works, and all he needs to do is be open about what he wants could be the push that puts him in the path of loving Buck fully, the same way Buck just goes along with things because he mostly believes he shouldn’t be alive, so why should he want things, so to have Buck get to the place where he realizes that he has what he wants right on his reach, he just needs to ask for it is ideal. 

I made this edit not that long ago, and it’s almost a poem, about how Eddie doesn’t think what he has to offer is enough, so he won’t say what he means, and Buck thinks he needs to settle for what he’s offered, so he won’t ask for more, and how that’s an immovable object meeting an unstoppable force, and they need to move off that impasse for that relationship to work. And being in the world of the living together and finding the little things that make them happy along with all the tragedy that surrounds them, can put them on that path. 

Their whole relationship is about keeping each other alive, Eddie straight up offers Buck a reason to live, why can’t they just find a way to make each other feel alive?

I said up there about how Buck signed up to dying with Eddie by going in that ambulance, and with everything about Buck, Actually (i recommend you read this for Buck actually thoughts about buddie) and how he latched on to the way Thomas and Mitchell died together after hearing about the life they had together, it's important for Buck to realize that point is not to die together, but to have the life together, and I feel like Buck is in the path to understanding that, and Eddie is ready to be happy, this could be it.

They could be learning to be alive together and finding out they want to be together.

As always, if you read this, I love you 💜

[whineandcheese24]

tbh I'm honestly really glad that buck's first kiss with a man, wasn't with Eddie. I feel like there are so many queer characters, (especially bi characters) that come to terms with their sexuality because of their endgame relationship. Alex's (rw&rb) bi awakening was with Henry, the guy he ends up marrying, Nick's (heartstopper) was with Charlie, his first and only boyfriend, even other queer characters in the 911verse like Hen, TK, and Carlos, only have their one main love interest (I know Hen had Eva, but she was really just there for drama). and that's not to say that there's anything wrong with a character only having one love interest, or that you're not actually bi (or whatever sexuality) if you end up with your sexual awakening. but I like that Buck might get to actually explore his sexuality with more than one person. this is truly a revolutionary thing because you have a main character who has historically been shown as traditionally masculine and a womanizer, and seven seasons into the show (and 32ish years into his life) he's been given a bi awakening, and he might actually get to be with more than one guy, or get to be with another girl after. obviously, I hope he does end up with Eddie, but I really hope we get to see him dating or being with a few other people, because I feel like we never see that

Edit: because I just realized I said in a previous post that I didn't think Buck and Eddie needed to date other people before each other, I have quite obviously changed my mind, but I don't think I realized how much I wanted buck's bi awakening to be it's own thinkg separate from buddie until this episode, and I'm really glad I was wrong, and they did it this way

[oldfashionedmorphine]

okay so i’m just getting this out of my brain…it makes sense to me, and it’s a lot but hear me out

tommy saw eddie as his competition for buck’s attention in one of two ways and both ways scream buddie canon to me…

scenario 1: tommy sees eddie as his competition, in which eddie is a possible threat to his romantic relationship because he actually sees the potential for buck and eddie to be romantic/sexually attracted to one another—meaning he doesn’t, or never has, seen eddie as “straight” (he scoffs when buck uses that line as a defense 👀) and therefore this whole time, in the back of his mind, he believed eddie would eventually someday steal his man (which makes sense when his main reasons for breaking up with buck were that he thought he would break his heart and how he knew he wouldn’t be buck’s last—and this is again reinforced in the latest episode when buck tries to figure out why tommy is willing to try again by throwing his reasoning back out there “you’re not scared i’m gonna break your heart anymore?” and tommy admits he’s not as worried because eddie, his competition, is now 800 miles out of the way) and basically, at the end of the scene it’s become clear to tommy, that even though eddie is in el paso, he still can’t compete with eddie. it’s always going to be eddie. he was right the first time. eddie being out of the picture doesn’t change anything.

scenario 2: tommy views eddie as competition, but he doesn’t see him as a threat to his relationship in a romantic way. in this scenario he’s been competing for buck’s attention yet he’s always coming up short because buck always puts eddie first—now the reason this scenario still screams buddie canon to me is because of how buck reacted to the idea of eddie being tommy’s competition—it only further shows that, no, it isn’t just platonic and that tommy was wrong and that maybe what made him insecure enough to break up with buck is finally being put into words, out in the open (because again, tommy scoffs at buck when buck claims eddie is straight, so if he didn’t have doubts before, he does now) AND there are ways buck could have shot the idea down that eddie is “competition”; he could have said “whoa, that’s crazy, he’s my best friend, i see him more like a brother, but yeah, you know what? you’re right. i did spend a lot more time with him than you, but i’ll work on that. trust me, you don’t have to worry about eddie�� BUT THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN! buck’s only defense to the idea he could have feelings or be in love with eddie were that he’s straight (aka: if he wasn’t straight, then yes, he would want to be with eddie) and buck also tries to lessen the significance of living in eddie’s former house by saying eddie was just a renter, but he’s still leaving out the part where he sacrificed his lease/loft (the place he asked tommy to move into only a few episodes back) in order to help eddie get back to chris, which is a pretty grand gesture—of course, he puts a nail in the coffin when he says “I don't have to sleep with everyone I have feelings for, and I don't have to have feelings for everyone I sleep with” hello?!??!!!!!! bit of a freudian slip if you ask me. ANYWAY it’s buck’s reaction that makes the competition with eddie in scenario 2 go from platonic to romantic, ergo it just screams buddie endgame 🤷

[blazinghotfoggynights]

Random possibilities for 9-1-1 based on nothing more than my wandering, weird mind. These are just random thoughts:

What if Tommy is going to become a permanent cast member and he and Buck will last for a while, if not be endgame? Tim Minear seems to love Tommy and BuckTommy. I could see a proposal or marriage by the end of the season to complete the Tommy Kinard redemption arc.

What if Gerrard's return will be used to reinforce how Tommy is now a good man and "good people"? Tim Minear will use it to solidify Tommy's redemption arc and bring him in as a main character.

What if Eddie has a major emotional upheaval and moving back to Texas is a serious possibility? If they have him turn to his Catholic roots for guidance and comfort, I can see him choosing to leave LA and be what he was raised to be. That effectively gets rid of Ryan Guzman and puts all Buddie talk to an end, opening the door to a BuckTommy focused fanbase with no more distractions.

What if Bobby never comes back to the 118 and Gerrard is it? That is an easy way to send that character away.

What if with Bobby cut out, Athena decides to follow him? It wouldn't be difficult to remove Athena, who may decide that Bobby's new career is much more attractive and it's time she retired anyway.

What if with Bobby gone and Gerrard in permanently, the 118 becomes too hostile for Hen and Chim to finish their careers there? Hen could return to school to complete her medical degree (What happened with that storyline anyway?), Chimney could easily transfer, we have seen him training, and that would open the door for Buck to follow Tommy and Tim to create a show following them.

Buddie? There will always be fanfic. It is clear Tim loves the Tommy Kinard character and working with characters who can be hateful. (If you think it is normal to minimize racist, sexist bullying as just "fitting in", keep bringing back characters to infuse that element of hate, have the targets of the hate forgive and befriend their terrorists, then tell everyone how good they are, there is something wrong with you. Tim Minear loving those characters and redeeming them is a tired trope that has been dragged for decades and extremely sus.) Even if BuckTommy is not endgame, I feel the endgame will keep Eddie hetero and whoever Buck ends up with will be lily white and probably male, with that couple becoming the focus of the show. I still believe that right now, the plan is for BuckTommy to endure and end the series together.

Eddie? I think his character is going to be done very dirty. If he caves to his parents wishes for him and becomes the good son, it'll be one of the biggest disappointments ever. I could see him going to church, praying to be guided back to the fold, and deciding that LA is not the place for him if he wants to be a good, devout Catholic man with a son and, very soon in the future, a wife, so his parents will be proud.

What if Buck, who has been desperate for love and acceptance since episode one, changes to be more like Tommy and more like what Tommy wants in a partner? Since Buck is the fan favorite, having him mirror Tommy could support Tommy being a good guy and gain support from the fanbase.

Where the hell are Hen, Karen, and Ravi? Hen is a main. Karen has been around for years, as has Ravi. Why aren't we getting more of them?

I said this last season and I am going to say it again this season, I think the endgame now is for this to end as the Buck and Tommy hour. It looks like the other characters are possibly being set up for phase outs, with their stories being left underdeveloped on purpose in order to tie them up easily.

I could see a spin off in the works focused on Buck and Tommy.

No, I don't have inside information. I am no psychic, although I have ESPN. (Dad joke. Or is it a mom joke since I'm a woman? Whatever.) I'm just throwing random could-be's out there.

[no-goodbyes-no-regrets]

To be honest with you, I never was and still am not a "Buddie shipper" per se, in the sense that I don't have an active desire to see them be boyfriends or husbands, like you know I want Robron to find their way back to each other.

My thing is, from the time I started watching 911, it was very clear to me from Season 2 Episode 1 that Buck and Eddie had a connection and they meant to each other more than friends....and it wasn't as much as Robert and Aaron mean to each other, but it was definitely more than say Sheldon and Leonard (the Big Bang Theory) meant for each other.

And for me, it is the show that keeps pushing it rather than me "wanting it". (I wish it was like that with Robron). But since I "see Buddie" in the episodes and have so from the start, in my head, that's where the SL is going. 🤷‍♀️ 😂

And bcoz that's stuck in my head, most of the time I worry that if you and others get too invested in Tommy and Buck it might lead to 💔

However , from what I can see, it is a pretty even split between Tommy+Buck Vs Buddie shippers, so the creative directors of 911 have a real choice here, especially if they want to break beyond the original format and expand the show with other units.

And Ryan Guzman makes A VERY VALID POINT in his interviews. Buck and Eddie have a very special relationship and Eddie has involved Buck in his family. And yes, Buck has had his bi awakening, and Eddie has maintained that it won't change his relationship with Buck. Irrespective of what happens in the future, if you keep watching Buck and Eddie IN THE PRESENT through the lens of whether they will get together or not, then you miss out on some of the nuances of their relationship.

Also, Eddie is not romantically interested at the moment canonically. So, there is no scope of Buddie per se! 😂 While Buck and Tommy are sort of one-off bfs. 🤷‍♀️

Anyway, not sure if you have seen this..... doing rounds on TikTok to keep Impossible dreams alive 🥲

Well I think I like our chances loving Tommy and Bucktommy - I think we're very much in the will they/won't they stage of the romcom. With the outcome of it being that they will. They didn't have to bring Lou/Tommy back for 8B - hell they could have just ended things after the failed coffee date in season 7 - BUT THEY DIDN'T. There was no real reason to have Tommy fly the getaway helicopter last ep, they could have hired some random extra, they didn't have to get Lou back for that. I mean they had a kid with a hyperfixation help Athena land a plane at the beginning of the season, they could have brought that kid back to help her fly a helicopter. Surely he would have cost less than Lou.

But to have Tommy there for Bobby's last shift and Bathena's last goodbye, when he was there for Bobby's first shift and Bathena's first meeting was certainly a choice. As was showing Tommy crying watching Buck break down on the monitors while Bathena were saying goodbye. And then having Tommy be one of the people carrying the casket at the funeral. That's a huge honour - they wouldn't let any randomer do that. He's part of the firefam.

I'm not saying bucktommy is endgame (because who knows where things go next season) but... I think they'll definitely get back together.

I've always just seen Buck and Eddie as friends - you know how sometimes you just meet people you *click* with, but not (necessarily) romantically. They are each other's person - but not in the way Shannon was to Eddie or Tommy is to Buck.

But even if Ryan suddenly changes his mind on playing queer Eddie and Buck decides he's actually in love with his best friend, and Buck and Tommy broke up permanently, they would have to pry Lou/Tommy and Bucktommy from my cold, dead hands. I'm not going to stop shipping them or writing fics about them even if the show decides they're done. I mean I started watching SWAT during the winter hiatus for Lou and I have a few terrible films on my computer because he's in it, even if he's never coming back to 911 after 8x16, I'm going to keep following his career. Just like with Ryan and Danny (And Natalie Ann Jamieson because she deserved better than Amy getting killed off on emmerdale!!)

And yeah Kenny seems to be really struggling with losing Peter/Bobby. Same here Kenny! You think you want Bobby back? Kenny is the biggest Bobby fan out there - he'd probably pay Peter's wages himself if that meant Bobby could come back!

[hockybish]

Bedtime Blues

l West Winds au l dad!trevor l masterlist l blurb l

"Do you trust me?"

"No Trevor, not when you don't-"

"Stop, Tallulah, just stop" Trevor cut her off

There was pause in the conversation. The couple looking anywhere but at each other, both not wanting to break the silence.

"I um, I think I should go home tonight"

Bean replayed the argument in her mind. It was stupid really a simple breakdown in communication that lead to her questioning him and him angrily leaving for the night.

If only he had talked to about the thing and maybe -

"Mommy! Daddy! I'm ready!" Zephyr's voice rang through their home.

He had been doing his nightly routine, which included a bath tonight. And now he was done and ready for his parents to read him a story and give him hugs and kisses.

"Hey baby" She kissed the top of his head, sitting in the bed next to him, pretending nothing was different from any other night. "What book are we reading tonight?"

"This one. I want Daddy to do the funny voices." The child proudly held out the book he chose.

"Is it alright if Mommy does them tonight?" Bean knew she was no where near the story reader that Trevor was, but she hoped and prayed that for one night, it would be okay.

"No, you don't do it right, only Daddy."

"I know baby, but Daddy had to leave, so Mommy has to do it."

"Daddy gone?" Bean nodded at her confused child. She could see the gears turning and a meltdown coming.

"But he didn't tell me goodbye." Zephyr's face turned from confusion to sadness when his lip started quivering and tears started flowing from his eyes.

"I'm sorry"

"No!" Zephyr started to get upset, throwing his favorite book and pushing his mother away before tossing himself on the floor crying. "I want my Daddy!"

~

Trevor knew leaving probably wasn't the best idea and most definitely wasn't going to solve whatever issue they were having. He just needed a moment, so spending the night in his own home was the best solution.

He was almost home when his phone went off, Bean's name popping up on the screen. He almost declined it by letting ring, but a gut feeling told him to answer it.

"What?" His voice came off a little more harsh than he intended.

"You never said goodnight." There was a lot of commotion in the background he could hardly understand what she was saying.

"What?" Trevor asked again, this time his voice changing becoming a little softer.

"You never said goodnight, you weren't here to read the story and do the funny voices." Bean's voice cracked over the phone. "He won't stop crying for you."

That's what the noise was. Zephyr crying.

"Please come back"

Bean didn't have to ask him twice. Once it was safe, Trevor turned the car around and sped off back towards his family.

Zephyr launched himself into Trevor's arms the moment he saw him. He wasn't too happy with his mother right now and just wants his daddy.

"What's wrong Zeph?"

"I don't love Mommy right now. Hate Mommy. Want you." Zeph rubbed his blanket over his tired eyes.

"Hey now, that's not very nice. Mommy loves you very much. She's trying okay buddy?"

Trevor could tell he didn't mean it, it was the sleep deprivation talking. In the morning after a good night sleep he could change his mind.

"Do you want to come home with Daddy?" He could feel Zeph's heading nodding against his chest. It was decided they'll have a little sleepover.

~

Zephyr fell asleep at some point in time on the drive to Trevor's. Exhaustion finally taking over and lull of the car convincing him to close his eyes.

Trevor laid him in his bed and snapped a photo, sending it to Bean, letting her know that they got to their destination and someone was already asleep.

tilly bean: im sorry about the fight Z: well talk about it tomorrow

tilly bean: i love you z Z: i love you more bean

They were going to be alright. She's his endgame after all.

[ryansbabygirloliver]

Yeah same :) I never judged anyone for shipping them, I multishipped too for a while because I believed well this is what we get and if tim says they're gonna make it work as a romcom and we're crazy for thinking it was about eddie... (all lies, we know that now)

But I think even in canon it's very clear that nobody will ever mean as much to buck or eddie as the other does. There's no way they can establish another love interest after all this. And people who NOW after the third time tommy dumped buck and after he said OUT LOUD that buck and/or eddie have feelings for each other still insist that bucktommy has to be endgame then yeah... I have to judge a little 😭 like.. what?

i don't really mind if people keep shipping it or even think it's endgame or whatever. i do think for me that's part of the fun. i love to clown a bit and get a little unhinged about buddie and i don't feel like i'm ultimately gonna break my own heart if (big if) it doesn't happen. it's fine if they wanna do the same.

my problem starts to become when they wanna call us stupid or delusional or say that we have no media literacy because we're interpreting the show in a way that's fun and enjoyable for ourselves. people have different tastes and that's fine! i ultimately realized i don't really get bucktommy in the long run and that's why i don't hang out over there anymore (among other reasons that i won't so much get into). because i don't call anyone names. (i realize other people will! i realize there are buddies who give as good as they get and honestly after the way my 'friends' over there treated me when i stopped being interested in bt ...good for her dot gif sometimes you know).

i also still v much have some multishipping friends who can see either thing happening and i love them dearly and get where they're coming from. it's just not how i see it and i don't really want it to happen and i don't feel like that makes me any less intelligent or sane or whatever other insults they wanna hurl at us.

because honestly besides that, throwing around accusations of homophobia and other things is something they just do and it's exhausting. it's actually also really harmful. and i feel bad that at one point i *bought into it*. because now i look at some of the things they call homophobic (like simply...not shipping bt just because it's canon and apparently that means you HAVE to like it which has never been true for any ship in the history of the world btw you can simply not like something because it's not your thing) but aside from things like that, they can like what they want. if that's their taste and they really think ultimately tommy is The Guy. Go for it.

BUT FOR ME, I agree with you. How is anyone gonna measure up. At the end of the day, Buck and Eddie are always gonna be what they are to each other. Talking 24/7, always in each other's orbit, and it's like. Who can even compete with that. Even if they ultimately decide it's not romantic - they are life partners in some capacity, and that's just a fact. there is no way they are gonna convince me that either one of them meets someone who changes their role in each other's lives, not at this point. and this means that any romantic partner would have to take a really massive backseat, and not to say your romantic partner always has to be The Most Important In Your Life or whatever, but this is a fictional story and it just feels like they're telling us a very specific one.

Anyway, sorry this was probably longer than you expected, anon.

[rookinthecrownest]

DESPERATE to hear your fenrook thoughts what are the vibes do they have a soundtrack or song, do they have longterm endgame plans, what do they feel for each other early on and do u have an arc in mind for how that changes for them both?

HELLO HIII

OkOk so I'm working on building a playlist for them now and the only two songs I have right now are Daylight by David Kushner and Once Upon a Dream by Lana Del Ray, not necessarily for the lyrics but for ~ the vibes ~

I have to do a bit more research on this, because it has been SO long since I read Fenris' Blue Wraith/Dark Fortress comic series. From what I vaguely remember, since the time of DA2 he doesn't seem to fuuuully trust mages but he's more chill about them than he was in DA2 (someone who's read the comics more recently please feel free to chime in because it has literally been YEARS). The Hawke in this universe was not a mage (they were a rogue) but sided with the mages.

So early on I imagine, even knowing that Varric trusts Rook, the fact that she's an assassin who kills people for money and uses her magic to do that puts him off/makes him distrust her at first. Mages doubling as assassins is probably not a very common occurrence outside of the Antivan Crows/Antiva. I don't think he'd very much approve of anyone who uses magic to kill for profit.

But, as Val explains her story (eventually), maybe he comes to realize that it was either join up with the Crows and work within that system as much as she could (trying to minimize the death of innocents, much like her buddy Lucanis), or live as a prisoner in the Circle. Not sure he'll ever really be fine with it, but he at least understands why. And if Varric vouches for Val/Rook, then he's willing to give her a chance and work with her.

Early on I think Val wants to know more about Fenris, more than Fenris wants to know about Val. She's been alone most of her life and her closest friends in the Circle were.... the rats, tbh. And she mostly kept to herself in the Crows, mostly interacting with Viago (king of the social butterflies). But Fenris has a certain je ne sais quoi about him that makes her curious about him in way that she's not really experienced with anyone else. I am so certain Fenris thinks she's weird as hell at first. He's convinced she can't actually understand animals like she claims and she's just fucking with him. But maybe seeing the way she cares for her lil animal pals? Well, once you've seen a girl go on a side quest to help a bird rebuild its nest after it was knocked down during a fight it's over for you buddy....

The arc, in my head, is like...

Okay, she's a mage. Will keep my guard up, but Varric trusts her so she must be ok.

Ok, she's a mage... kills people for money, don't like that, but we need to find/stop the Dreadwolf so I'll put a pin in that for later.

Alright, this weirdo thinks she talks to animals. She's rebuilding bird nests. She's talking to the rats. Why is she talking to the rats. Ok, she's a rat now. Where the fuck did she go. I have to find the rat-girl before Varric accuses me of killing her and dumping the body.

Why does she want to know about me. Fine, I'll tell her. Oh no, she's not just weird, she's cute and weird. And off-putting. Why do I feel like I can tell her my entire life story and she will actually care.

Oh no, I love this pathetic wet rat girl maybe. And said wet rat girl who previously didn't show much interest in human companionship, who's been alone for most of her life, is curious about the guy who's also spent the last 10+ years alone fighting for what he believes in and is drawn to that.

But like..more drawn out than that obviously. That's the vibe the pairing gives me. It's reluctant at first. There's distrust. She's a mage who kills for money, he's a mage-killer. They form a tenuous connection at first, and for long time they don't really know how deep that tenuous connection really is.

Long term goals... I don't now if I've gotten that far. Like, one idea I was floating around was Lucanis, as first talon, coincidentally giving Val contracts for evil mages/venatori remnants in Tevinter so she can stay and help Fenris.

That's all I have so far but I'm going insane over it lololol

[coal15]

My opinions on the whole multi-shipping Buddie and Tevan situation. But first, [steps up on soapbox and yells into bullhorn] HAVE NO BEEF WITH ANYONE WHO FEELS DIFFERENTLY THAN ME SO I'D REALLY APPRECIATE NOT GETTING ANY "YOUR OPINIONS ARE STUPID AND PROBABLY SO ARE YOU" COMMENTS IN MY REPLIES. **If any such comments do appear in my replies I would ask the rest of you to please simply ignore them. You won't change their minds so confrontation will do nothing but further poison the waters.

Ahem. Carrying on. Warning, this post is LONG. Like, practically a novella.

I'm still a multi-shipper at heart in the sense that I will always love my memories in the Buddie fandom and how vocally we showed our support over the last six years--yes there was a SUPER PROMINENT contingent among us who directly engaged with and verbally disemboweled every actress who played a li on a regular basis, (and who harassed Oliver to the point of him quitting twitter) but most of us had the sense to direct our ranting at the fictional character or writers/showrunner/network with varying degrees of anger or indignation. Now speaking just for myself, in my time as a Buddie fan I never commented on the physical appearance of any li, so seeing a lot of buddie-or-bust folks now referring to Lou as "ugly" "rectangle-faced" "gross looking," etc has been disappointing. I hope they represent the minority. So far it looks like they do.

On to my reasons for and/or role in shutting down non-Buddie romances: While I never took to engaging her personally, I voiced harsh criticism of GW over her "honorary latina" comment, likewise EG for her transphobia and non-apology apology ("I'm sorry if you felt offended). And while I wish bucktaylor had stayed besties (preferably bi besties since there was no reason Buck couldn't have his bi awakening with a woman), my issue with them dating was at first just a lack of romantic chemistry and the fact that Taylor never apologized for what she did to Bobby or even admitted it was wrong. But as the relationship dragged on I watched the life drain out of Buck. They were stagnant as a couple and the look on Buck's face when he said ily back to her was . . . laughably unromantic. The only growth his character got from that relationship was him being the one to end it. As for eddieana, on top of lacking chemistry they were just plain dull. The end.

Moving on to Buck's kiss w/Lucy: I actually like AK and was excited to hear about her coming to 9-1-1. She was fun af as Lexi on VD so I was looking forward to seeing her play a different character. Aaaaannnnnnd then KR immediately ruined her by making it abundantly clear that she was created for one sole purpose: to complicate a man's storyline and spark off a love triangle--and she did so in the most offensive way possible. It was appalling, negatively affected Buck's character, and thankfully KR's response to the intense backlash was to pivot so the love triangle never manifested. But the damage was already done. No one had any interest in watching them poke/flirt for the rest of the season. I was deeply offended by such a misogynistic use of a female character and it still boggles my mind that a woman created her.

Anyhow, all this was a long winded way of saying that my reasons for wanting those li gone went well beyond my investment in Buddie. Though I did strongly believe no romantic narrative for either of them could ever compete w/the Buckley-Diaz Family, at the end of the day those romantic arcs were ruined for me by writing mistakes, problematic actresses, and lack of chemistry (which is admittedly subjective and something we all approach with shipper goggles to some degree--if you think you 100% absolutely don't you're lying to yourself). I stand by a lot of the reasons Buddies were so opposed to those li being endgame. Yes, plenty of us took things waaaaaaay over the line re: direct personal attacks against actresses and/or non-buddie fans, but I think far more of us than not did argue in good faith and toward the right people. We just didn't stand out as much or get as much engagement because . . . well, toxic behavior is rewarded on sm with more clicks, shares, likes, quotes, etc. Attention seekers gonna seek.

As for why it's so hard to ship happily on sm: in my experience a handful of problematic or outright unhinged fans (on both sides) will go around stirring shit, provoking arguments, and soon the dog pile effect kicks in because everyone wants to defend their tribe. Arguments go in circles, spin off, get more and more petty, until most of "us" end up discussing amongst ourselves about how "they" are a bunch of [insert string of negative attributes here], which then in itself provokes a reaction from "them." Lather, rinse, repeat. Eventually way too many of "us" are hissing and snarling at "them" more often than theorizing about or celebrating our ship . . . the thing we enjoy . . . and it's really hard to detach from that cycle, especially when things get personal. I recommend total non-acknowledgement, but even I struggle to hold that line when I read something I think is terrible. I'm making an effort these days to just keep scrolling thru my feed until I hit something happy, and if there's a negative comment somewhere in the thread to give it ZERO engagement of any kind. Not. Easy.

Which brings me to where I am today. During my time in the Buddie fandom I assumed that for most of us the actual queer rep mattered more than any one ship. Hell, if Taylor had been the one to wake Buck up to his bisexuality--and admitted what she did to Bobby was wrong--they might have grown on me as an endgame couple. I've accepted "meh" endgame couples before as long as everything else on a show stayed solid. I also thought that Buck could never, ever look at anyone with bigger hearteyes than the way he looked at Eddie, but . . .

. . . Enter Tommy. As soon as they kissed, and in their albeit limited screentime afterward (thanks a lot shortened season!) I learned a lesson: there are different kinds of hearteyes. In my opinion Buck looks at Eddie with complete adoration and love, yes. Total hearteyes. But the way he looks at Tommy is . . . "Oh, that's what Buck looks like when he's absolutely smitten, that's how he acts, that's what a romantic crush looks like on Buck. Wow." It wasn't better or worse than his hearteyes or vibe with Eddie, just conspicuously different. It re-framed the way I see the Buckley-Diaz Family as well, and the way I read their chemistry. As I mentioned earlier chemistry is subjective, and once I actually had something queer to compare with Buddie's chemistry, I stopped rooting for romantic Buddie. I wouldn't exactly be furious if they went canon since I did spend all those years rooting for them and it would still be a high profile queer storyline, but I would rather see the Buckley-Diaz Family and Tevan coexist. I think they can, and I think it would be beautiful.

So here's where I stand with my preference and opinions today:

Falling in love doesn't mean everyone else in your life gets demoted. Feelings aren't like pie. Maddie doesn't love Buck any less since she fell in love with Chimney. Athena didn't love her daughter any less when her son came along. There's not a finite amount of love and you're serving out pieces of it. You can love more than one person with all your heart. And that's how I feel about Buck and the Buckley-Diaz Family. He and Eddie are more than friends, different than brothers, they just . . . have their own dynamic. It's unique, special, and vital to both of their identities. And those facts will not be altered by either of them falling in love w/another person. If anything, the Buckley-Diaz Fam has become more special to me since I started rooting for a Tevan endgame.

Queer rep matters more to me than Buddie. Buck coming out as bi wasn't and shouldn't be seen as a step on the road to "winning" the ship I wanted for years. It is completely awesome progress for us whether they're endgame or not. Ditto for Tevan. Also, at the end of the day I ship Buck+Happiness and Eddie+Happiness, and right now Buck seems to be falling for Tommy. What happens with Eddie remains to be seen.

Looking at the whole picture, I will always love Buddie and kinda wish they'd gone canon in s4 or 5, but I think that moment has passed and I'm not mad or bitter about it. I adore the Buckley-Diaz Family, I adore Tevan, and I want to see them both thrive in s8. Now if you'll excuse me, my fingers have begun to bleed from all this typing.

[saveahorserideaneddie]

breathe friend you know tommy is bones in s8, he's not bucks endgame the reliable leaker has literally been clear about that. don't believe anything that psychopath on twitter says, she's literally insane.

oh trust me i don’t believe anything she says lmao

and i know the leaker said that about tommy but tbh that dont mean shit about whether or not they are actually going to fix any of the fuckery they pulled in s7

just because they are allegedly giving tommy the boot doesn’t mean they’re going to actually get their shit together and stop ship baiting us; so like i said until they actually start to give us any indication that they’re going to stop mistreating poc characters for cheap drama and that storylines are actually going to be thought out beforehand rather than thrown together because “ehh, this is good enough” i’m not going to be wasting my time. these shows are meant for entertainment. if i am not being entertained by what’s being done, why am i going to waste my energy on it?

i dont say this to sound snippy or rude, anon, and it is NOT directed at you specifically (and i really hope it doesn’t come across that way i am just bad at emoting through screens 😭😭), i promise, but sometimes it feels like people who try to “talk me off the ledge” in these anonymous asks don’t really look at what i’m actually saying and they jump to the conclusion that i’m just making shit up to panic about, but the fact of the matter is that everything i talked about in that post is something that could feasibly happen… all of buck’s love interests up to this point have not been narratively satisfying; developed or not. so even if tommy does end up going like the leaker said (again not getting my hopes up because things change at the drop of a hat in this business) that doesn’t mean they will actually follow through with queer eddie or that any other potential love interest for buck will be in any way narratively satisfying. i’m not saying i’m closing on buddie, because i will love them and ship them together when my body is six feet under, but after the burning dumpster that was s7 post the cruise ship arc, i don’t have the faith in tim that i had before.

at the end of the day, yes abc is a more accepting and inclusive studio, but it is still that: a studio. a corporation. a money maker. they don’t actually give a fuck about the fans. i have seen time and time again that these shows do this cat and mouse shit with a queer ship and then never follow through, even if one of the characters involved does end up being confirmed queer. maybe it was a little harsh to say that tim is only interested in money, but after how little thought and care he put into last season it’s hard not to feel like he actually cares about the fans who have stuck with this show since the beginning.

i’ve mentioned before that i have stuck with this show for seven years. i have shipped buddie since s2. i witnessed the s4 buildup and subsequent letdown in s5 and 6. I know that was not tim’s fault specifically, that KR and Fox both fucked the show over

but that does not mean that tim won’t also change his mind— we saw evidence of that last minute with all the rewrites that were happening post mid season hiatus with s7. he found out he’s getting another season so he changed the plot of 7b, and if they get a season 9, all the more reason to keep dragging the buddie bait hype along with now true intentions to follow through?

i reslly really reallly wanted to trust tim again especially after the potential he had with the shooting arc in s4, but sometimes it feels like he himself has closed on buddie since then unless it’s done as a last-ditch effort to save the show… again, i’m not saying i think bt is going to be endgame, but just because they aren’t endgame doesn’t mean buddie is and that is what pisses me off. that we will have been waiting for nearly a decade for this ship to go canon, we will have gone through so much hate and vitriol from the bt stans, we have been teased and built up time and time again (even in s7), we have been bait and switched with no satisfactory outcome, and we have been laughed at the entire time, and there is a possibility that none of it will actually pay off, all because some white man gets to call the shots and he’s shown that all he cares about is melodrama and trolling people online to stir up shit.

anyway, i didn’t mean to hijack this post, anon, but i wnated to further expound upon what exactly my point was in my original post, which was not that i believed Bree’s delusions or that the helicopter pilot is buck’s endgame, but that i won’t trust tim to actually go through with anything promising until i start to see actual concrete irrefutable evidence of it.

[johanna-swann]

I genuinely wonder why some people are so convinced that buddie will go canon in season 8. I'm not a hardcore endgame truther for either ship, as long as the story is exciting the result matters only secondarily to me. Buck could end up with Tommy, Eddie or somebody else entirely, he could end up single - if the way we get there gives us a good story, I'll be happy.

And it's not like I think it's impossible for Buddie to happen. I just think it's unlikely, at least this soon. A s7 queer Eddie arc was apparently on the table at some point, but they eventually went into a different direction and there have been several new interviews in the meantime.

Tim Minear seems to like Tommy, he really wanted him back for s7 and wanted to give him and Buck a "romcom" kind of story. Kenneth Choi thinks that Buck may have finally found real love. Ryan Guzman has said on several occasions how inportant this friendship between a queer man and heterosexual man is to him.

Showrunners can change their minds, make decisions they later regret. They may come around eventually, but wouldn't they have given the actors different talking points for their interviews if they were actively planning a Buddie arc for the very next season?

This is genuine curiosity speaking, I'm not looking to drag anyone for being a shipper against all odds (I still have a somewhat active Destiel blog, I get it). Feel free to comment, reblog or if you wanna stay anonymous drop into my asks with your thoughts.