#buck just wants to openly love eddie

[keepingmyoptionsfluid]

The idea that Tommy, a closeted gay man who was desperately trying to fit in in a hyper macho and discriminatory environment, isn't allowed to have any growth from when he was over compensating and was a dick to Chim really pisses me off. He literally had canonical growth to the point he was going for drinks with Chim and Hen in Bobby Begins Again and they got him a fancy leaving cake.

Why isn't he allowed to grow and be better? Because he's white? Because he "gets in the way of buddie"? Because no one is allowed to say and change at all over a decade?

Like this is a queer fandom and I'd bet a lot of money that a ton of people in this fandom said and did things they weren't proud of when they were younger, especially before they came out so they could try and hide it.

I know this is quite a young fandom too but like, it was literally only a decade ago when "gay" was an insult at school and doing anything that could be get you accused of being gay was fucking social suicide. You guys have no idea how lucky you are that people at least get called out for that shit now cause they didn't when I was a kid. I would have done almost anything to just be ignored, let alone accepted, rather than being openly bisexual.

So yeah, I think Tommy is allowed to fucking change as a person because Bobby, Chim and Hen came into his life and allowed him to stop repressing. Stop being such fucking assholes. You aren't any better than him, and frankly the way some of you behave makes the way Tommy acted when he was first in the show look like a fucking saint. Touch some grass.

[housewifebuck]

My hc is that Eddie is fully aware of his feelings for Buck. Eddie KNOWS he is 100% gone on this silly boy. However, he assumes that Buck doesn't feel the same/is straight or whatever, and has resigned himself to live the life of unrequited love. He's accepted the fact that he'll be best man as Buck marries someone else.

Buck, however, is completely oblivious to the fact that he's in love with Eddie. He has so little to go on, as far as good normal healthy relationships (before the 118 obv), and just thinks, "This is normal. EVERY guy had sex dreams about their buddies. All best friends prefer to spend time with each other than with their girlfriends. It's a totally normal bro thing to plan your future around your platonic mate."

YES. SUPERIOR TAKE.

[a-deep-ocean-of-secrets]

I don't really understand some people's strong insistence that Buck needs to openly date/play the field now that he's bisexual. Or that it is unlikely/impossible that he could happily settle down with Tommy because he's his first male partner. One, it feels like it's propagating negative stereotypes. And two, it feels like a crucial misunderstanding of Buck's character.

Now, if it was Buck 1.0 who discovered this new facet of his sexuality, sure, he'd probably be hooking up with men and women in equal measure. And hats off to him. The guy's a T-bone steak. But since Abby, he's been in search of a serious, committed relationship. He wants to share a deep and profound connection with someone. More so, he wants to love and be loved in return. So, to me, it isn't surprising at all that even with men added into the equation, he has still zeroed in his attention on a single person (Tommy).

That segues into the other popular talking point that Tommy's only purpose is to serve as a plot device to open Buck's eyes to his bisexuality. If that were the case, then his role in the story would have been accomplished in 7x05. They could have kissed, and gone on their date, have it be crashed by Eddie, Buck putting his foot in his mouth with the 'hot chicks' comment, Tommy stepping back by telling Buck that he isn't ready, and then he could have peaced out of the narrative. ✌️Role fulfilled. Buck could still come out to Maddie and Eddie, accept his new sense of self, and decide that he indeed doesn't desire anything serious at the moment and wants the freedom to explore. His failed date with Tommy could have served as a learning experience and he then could wait for a new guy to catch his interest.

But he doesn't do that. He doubles down on Tommy. He calls him to apologize. He invites him to coffee. He tells him that while this is all new to him, Tommy is the one he wants to explore this with. He invites him to his sister's wedding. He's all in on Tommy. Because he has strong feelings for Tommy. Inviting Tommy to the wedding wasn't just about Buck coming out to his loved ones, it was about introducing them to Tommy as his partner.

Buck is committed to his relationship with Tommy. A relationship that (most likely) is going to continue to grow in the next two episodes and then into the next season. 🤞

[talktonytome]

Sorry, but if you refuse to see how happy and good Evan Buckley is with Tommy, you don’t truly like him as his own character, I’m afraid. A person who begged his parents to love him and hurt himself for their attention, who only felt wanted or valuable when he was useful, who was left by partners and called needy, who was even called exhausting (striking to the core of his insecurities). And after all that, he still gives and cares and has so much joy. Then, he finds Tommy, someone who’s gentle and patient, someone who shows up for him without expectations, no questions asked, except are you absolutely sure about this? someone who reads and matches him beat for beat, shows him so openly and earnestly that he wants Buck, not for what he can do for him, but simply because he likes him and enjoys being with him. And come on, when have you seen our Buck smile and sigh and glow like that??

So, if you’re mad just because he’s not with Eddie, only care about him in relation to Eddie, or willfully ignore and/or vilify his relationship with Tommy, maybe reevaluate whether you know, understand, or even like his character at all.

[tevanbuckley]

the subtle little moments of nervousness buck has re: his sexuality might actually kill me.

bc yeah, there's these big moments (e.g the hot chicks/ally comments), but there's also smaller things i haven't seen many ppl touch on. like the way he makes sure chimney isn't home when he goes to talk to maddie, or the fact that after he's decided he does want to come out to eddie it takes two attempts before he manages to get the words out and then when he does he still can't shake the worry his best friend might be weirded out.

even in 7.09 after he's had his big coming out moment, after he's mauled tommy's face in a hospital waiting room in front of god and half a dozen nurses, he still gets nervous, almost apologetic, when bobby brings up tommy. as though he still isn't quite sure how to actually talk about the boyfriend-ness of it all.

it's just so nice to see a show craft a coming out storyline that isn't centered around homophobia but also doesn't ignore the reality of what coming out means, and the weight that kind of realisation carries with it.

and i really hope they manage to keep that balancing act up in s8. I hope we actually get to see buck navigate things like his superior walking up to him and his bf at a work event and making homophobic comments, and watch as he figures out what it means for him to be an openly bisexual man in a queer relationship.

and please, please for the love of god let me have some hen/buck queer solidarity scenes.

[matan4il]

911 ep 704 first watch reactions

IDK if anyone else will talk about this, but Josh and Maddie were a great comedic start to this ep! XD Also. Interesting choice to give Josh, the currently only openly gay male character on the show, more lines again. Is it a reminder he's there, so he can be a part of Buck's journey later on? *eyes emoji* We'll see.

All of these pretty women (I should also mention that as a non-American, all the gasped, "It's Joey!" "It's you!" "It's me!" are missing me by a kilometer. Whoever Joey is, he's not Madonna yet, if you want me to get excited about him, 911, you're gonna have to give me a bit more than a single name), hitting on Buck and Eddie, and the ease with which both men turn them down... Sure, this is a part of the set up regarding Buck, and Eddie technically has an excuse, but also. Most straight, taken men would at least be tempted. They'd at least bite their lips with frustration. Have some reaction. But not Eddie. And when you remember that he was distinctly not taken in ep 204, but still had the same reaction to pretty young women hitting on him and Buck... I know this ep is all about celebrating the 'oh' moment of another guy, but that's not gonna stop me from rooting for Eddie to have similar realizations eventually (and get together with that certain other guy *cough*).

LMAO So, Buck is meeting up with the guy who's gonna be his sexual awakening, a man who's good looking, gave him a thrill already, is an impressive fighter pilot, and the first thing he can think of to say, is blurt out Eddie's name? LMAO Oh, this boy really is down bad...

Man, that bit where Tommy tells Buck he can have it both ways, he can get certified and continue to serve with the 118. Thanks for the beautiful foreshadowing, 911. Buck saying he's keeping his options fluid... Holy shit, the show really wasn't holding any punches back.

OMG, why is Harry old enough to be making Bathena waffles (and then turn out to be involved in an altercation)? I swear, he was still on baby formula just a second ago. How did 7 seasons just fly by!?

Buck getting jealous over Eddie and Tommy sparring. Considering the fact that Buck was the one getting all hot and bothered over semi-naked Eddie in the gym in 201, and ready to jump into a boxing match with him, this is making me wanna punch a wall myself. The symbolism in this ep is NOT very veiled. Add to that Eddie mentioning how he and Tommy met and just... clicked. In the same conversation that reminds us of Buddie' in 201's first meeting, where they clicked? (even though they were both too dumb to realize in what way) 911, just let me catch my breath for a second challenge! Also, Eddie is dating Tommy more intensely than he is Marisol? Okay. Duly noted. These firefighters are both so freaking hetero, I'm sure that's exactly what every casual viewer was telling themselves at this point. And poor Buck, getting his hopes up that Eddie is asking him when he's free, so they can go on a date themselves, only to be let down. Poor baby boy. But this feels like it's spelling out the answer to whether Buck's jealous over Tommy or Eddie. So, yay for Tommy helping him with his bi awakening. But it's clear who's really occupying Buck's heart and mind, and whose time he wants. FOR SIX FREAKING SEASONS NOW.

Oh, it's continuing, the show really is trying to kill me, having Buck complain to Maddie about how often Eddie has been seeing Tommy. The annoyance with how cool Tommy is, that's exactly Buck's reaction to Eddie in 201. So, if Buck and Tommy will then kiss, what does that say about what Buck didn't even realize he wanted to happen with Eddie back then, hmmm? I also love that Buck wants to be the cooler "dad's friend" in Christopher's eyes. That's his son, you can't take that away from him. And of course, Maddie was his first confidante about his feels for Eddie, she was the first one to call out his boy crush (in 204) and to hear Buck automatically think about Eddie, when he hears, "He's cute!" (in 206). It's so freaking right that she is now the witness to Buck's bi jealousy meltdown. I love her calling him out on it. "Is it circled with a heart around it?" Honestly, this is better than front row seats at the Bachelor mansion. I'm just disappointed in Chimney and his imaginary popcorn that he doesn't get to witness all of this firsthand and get what it means. Letting down all Bachelor fans out there, Chim. -_-

And then Buck's back in the gym, staring at Eddie, feathers ruffled. Am I going to make it to the end of this ep? Who cares? This is fantastic! XD He tries to catch Eddie's attention with the little weightlifting without a spotter stunt, and it's specifically him. Chim turned out to also be impressed by how cool Tommy is, but Buck is circling Eddie, like a clueless Jane Austen heroine, about to become a hit teen romance movie. Ravi falling for Buck's weightlifting attention trap is just getting in the way. Chim asking about Buck's weird basketball hugging session is nothing but a way to get to the ball game with Eddie. Okay, I'm at the point where I need to be chewing on imaginary popcorn.

Athena is one of the strongest characters on television, ever. Precisely because she's not just tough when she has to be, she has a heart, too. The scene where she told the woman she accidentally killed her own son was hard to just watch. IDK how she actually did that. I'm not sure if viewers who aren't moms get it, 'coz I didn't until I went with my sister through her pregnancy. Motherhood changes you forever. You feel your kid moving inside you. You bond with them in the most intimate way possible before they're even born. You go on a wild journey with them after, where every second counts, let alone every hour and every day, when they're hungry, when they're cold, when they struggle to sleep, when they finally do, when they take their first step, when they fail and fall... The love and protectiveness are something different to anything else in life. IDK how Athena, who gets all of this, managed to break the news to this mother, that she had unknowingly killed her own kid. I think to me, this has to be the most devastating scene in the entire history of the show. IDK if I'll be able to watch it again.

When basketball game scene starts, and Chimney knows something's up, I was already chuckling. But then Eddie sees them, and the first thing isn't expressing joy that his best friend is there, it's asking how did Chim talk him into this. "He always says no to me." They BOTH always talk about each other in romantic coded language, it's not just Buck, and in the same ep where we get bi Buck confirmed, that makes me froth at the mouth...

"So I'm your basketball beard. I feel so bonded." Not Chimney calling Buck out, while using the term for closeted gay guys using someone as a cover. I AM SCREAMING. Thank you, 911 gods!

That montage with Eddie and Tommy high fiving each other right in front of Buck's salad face, while their muscles glisten in the sun, and Top Gun-like music plays in the background, like the biggest nod to the volleyball scene from that gayest movie ever made, which we already had Buddie paraphrasing in 201. I am fine, this is fine. I love this burning kitchen I'm sitting in.

Buck causing Eddie's injury because of his jealousy (which again, is not about Tommy. He made an impression on Chim as well, who was screaming, "Buck, I'm open! I'm OPEN!") and not even getting to offer some help, because Tommy's already on it... I hope ABC is happy with their viewership dropping next week, because they've killed every Buddie shipper in the fandom.

"Well, I'm not a 14 year old girl..." Both Buck and Maddie together: "So stop acting like one." Love this scene, love these siblings, love that the reference with the two blonde Sarahs sounds platonic, but it's also from a past season on the Bachelor. 911 really wants you to know this is romantic, and Buck's going through a late sexual awakening in his 30's, instead of in his teens, even before he's able to see it.

So, the conclusion to Buck and Maddie's convo is that he needs to talk to Eddie, to make it better, yet the person he ends up talking to is Tommy, and that leads to the bi awakening kiss... It's a classic rom com switch, we hear a knock at the door, we expect it to be THE love interest, showing up at the right time, and it's someone else, making the protagonist's romantic journey so close, but about to get longer. It's further emphasized by a shot over Tommy's shoulder, in a way that he can easily be confused for Eddie, and which is reminiscent of moment when we saw Buck standing at Eddie's door, or both of them there toegther.

It was a nice talk, I loved Tommy saying he can't replace Buck, I def noticed how he went to talk about it in the context of Chris instead of Eddie (hmmm... I wonder why), but my fave part was how Buck glowed when he heard his son doesn't shut up about him. ^u^ He even took a second to look away from Tommy, to take it in with a huge grin. Then Buck and Tommy start warming up to each other, moving towards flirtation, and what comes out of Buck's mouth? "You don't have to tell me how great Eddie is." That's not how you flirt with a guy, Buck. I liked Tommy kissing him, and Buck not recoiling. Like he's always known on some level, but could never do anything about it. "That's better than fake mouth static." LOL The stuff that great romance is made of.

I'm SO happy Buck is getting this storyline of realization he's bi, I've thought it would be important and that the show has laid some groundwork for it since 107, and I don't mind that Tommy is the "romantic other" who helps him with it. I do believe this is important bi representation in and of itself, away from Buddie, and if nothing else ever comes of it, this is still beyond wonderful. In 2024, we still barely have any characters who start out presumed straight, and are allowed the freedom to figure out that maybe their sexual orientation is different than what they thought, despite the fact that in reality, human sexuality is complex and confusing and a mess. So this really matters to me, as a human being, and as a queer person. That said, I can't ignore the past 5 seasons, and the way this storyline played out, with Tommy kissing Buck, but the whole thing being emotionally centered around Buck's feelings for Eddie, it means that whether they go canon or not (and at this point, I find it hard to believe they'd make Buck canonically bi, taking this HUGE risk of homophobic backlash, and not go there with him and Eddie, but just in case they don't, I wanna say this), it'll always be Buddie for me.

Thank you for reading! If you're looking for more, you can find my s7 reactions tag here, and more of my Buddie meta and content in my pinned post. xoxox

[biasbuck]

BiAsBuck’s ficrec Fraturdays

Happy weekend everyone! So many loose ends tied up....except *eyes* oh I'm loving the season so far. Back with more fic that I've read and loved this week, with a mix of short one shots and longer stories. As always you can find previous rec lists here. Some light spoilers for the season.

19 October 2024

I did think, let’s go about this slowly by @pelorsdyke is a short and insightful peek into Karen's mindset at the start of hers and Hen's relationship, as she overcomes her own fears of adhering to stereotype and committing too hard and too fast. But she finds a way to balance her heart's wants with her mind's eye, and find a intimacy she can build on along the way.

I didn't know (that it could be good) by @rainbow-nerdss 'Eddie lets himself into Buck's apartment unannounced, and finds him in a compromising position. That should be nothing, just something to laugh about down the line, except afterwards, it's like a switch has flipped, and neither of them can get it out of their minds. The solution? They need to get it out of their systems.' Best friends that secretly hook up and don't question it because it feels good and that's their favourite person and nothing has to change right? trope my beloved. God this fic is absolutely swoonworthy, and I'm still giving it hearteyes for days. Do yourself a favour and read it right now.

please, please, please by @bookinit02 'So, a widower walks into a bar, and he hasn’t been held by someone he loves in years.' A touch starved Eddie starving for Buck's touch in particular! In which Buck subconsciously stops casually touching Eddie after he comes out, and Eddie notices and is not happy about it. Circa S7/S8, they soon set out to resolve the issue. Such a great exploration of a complicated yearning, and then I particularly loved their flirtatious bickering in this fic because it was so very very them and endearing as hell.

kerosene by @roguebuck is almost the flipside...a post 7x06 fic starting from the wedding, in which Buck isn't sure why 'nothing's going to change' unsettles him so much and why he can't get Eddie out of his head...even at the most inopportune times. But sometimes all it takes to make a change is for someone to pour the gas and light a match...and this fic sure does that!

the city is a jungle and i’m a beast by @putanauhere just in time for canon!werewolf Eddie, this is such a brilliant fic that really immersed me in the story, and was so well thought out to make the werewolf lore fit into 911verse smoothly. Eddie and his platoon were bit by a werewolf during his time in the army, and so as long as he's been with the 118 he's been keeping a secret. When a call to a magick shop goes awry, Buck's infodumping on the habits of wolves meets Eddie's reluctance to concede to superstition...but he's mostly desperate to hide. When Buck follows him to his safe house, things soon go awry, and together they must learn to live with the consequences. Perfect spooky season fic, and really emotional as well.

Any Other Way by @cal-daisies-and-briars I have been meaning to read this for weeks and am so glad I finally have! This is a fic where Eddie and Buck's lives take on each other's paths - an unattached and openly gay Eddie going on an aimless teenage wanderlust after his high school girlfriend left suddenly, and Buck signing up to the army to spite his parents. Then one day Eddie runs into Shannon at the grocery store...with a young boy at her side. This is a really wonderful fic about a lifechanging secret and stepping up to parenthood, overcoming fears and letting your guard down. I loved how despite the narrative switcheroo, their motivations remain true to themselves and their family at the core.

the sound of the saw (must be known by the tree) by @absolutelybifurious a fic inspired by the last episode of Grey's Anatomy I ever watched lmao. Eddie blames himself for Chris leaving, but Buck is frustrated that the time has stretched out so long, and is encouraging him to go get him. But Eddie doesn't want to hear it and they part on rocky ground with Eddie boarding a plane to El Paso for some wildfire training. When Buck receives a voicemail, the world shifts from under his feet, and the 118 race to save Eddie. This was passionate and angsty and the love sings off the page.

See you next week, trick or treat!!

[lemotmo]

Their downward spiral has been fun 😊. But everything she said is fact.

Q. Your boy wonder blocked those of us who don't love his boy wonder. Class act you got there.

Q. We get it Oliver we say Tommy you say block. Still want us to pretend he's not a brat?

Q. I asked your leader about his onscreen boyfriend and he blocked me. Actually he told me I was getting blocked and then he blocked me. Very mature of him.

Q. What kind of petulant child actually takes the time to go through a comment section of 900 plus comments like that photo had and manually deletes certain comments and then blocks the person who sent the comment? And you want us to respect him????

Q. He's so pathetic ��. How are you not mortified by how embarrassing his behavior has been? Nevermind you are you will just pretend you're not.

Q. Oliver is basically giving his fandom the middle finger and yet he has the nerve to get butt hurt because we all like Lou more. What an immature brat.

A. So this is a very small sample of the asks I have received since Oliver went on his blocking spree. I wanted to include a sample because every single person who has sent me a complaint that he blocked you has intentionally not disclosed the question or comment you left that got you blocked. The only thing that's clear is they all involved Tommy in some way. And based on your pattern it's not hard to imagine that most of those comments probably included insults of some kind directed at anybody not Tommy/Lou. Oliver is not a brat. Oliver is tired. They are all tired. The sad thing is if you all had allowed the story to just unfold and taken it for what it was, Oliver would have been very kind to you. Because he's an absolute teddy bear of a man. He never gave you all false hope. He's been the one you should have been paying attention too because he has the one who's been honest with you. He never would have shipped it but he would have been respectful of you shipping it. And when Tommy's part was complete, that character, and you, probably would have even received a thank you post of some kind from Oliver because he loves Buck, and he would have been grateful for the role Tommy played in getting Buck ready for his next chapter. That's the kind of person Oliver is. The Oliver you all are seeing now you brought on yourselves. He is a petty king and once you push him over the line it's over. You all have made it your mission to make him, and his friends miserable because they refuse to encourage your delusion. You deserve being blocked by him and I hope he continues to do it. There's no need for him to subject himself to your abuse. He doesn't have to allow Tommy content if he doesn't want it there.

The real reason you all are so upset today is that you're rapidly running out of delusions to cling too. They have systematically eliminated or debunked every one of your talking points, and that's what actually angers you. Examples:

'OMG Oliver and Lou are total besties look how much they love being together' = Oliver completely ignores anything and everything Tommy/Lou related. Doesn't like any Tommy content, doesn't follow Lou on any social media. Zero BTS interactions. Publicly admits to blocking people who demand he fawn over it.

'Oliver and Ryan clearly hate one another and only tolerate each other because Buddie fans are insane' = Oliver and Ryan take, share, and post amazing b&w photos of one another. Loads of BTS content of the joking around and having a good time together on set. Follow each other on social media. Openly discuss and like Buddie content. Admit to reading Buddie fanfics and watching fan edits. Hang out at each other's houses and play around with Instagram filters.

'Lou's going to be bumped up to main: = release cast lost proving that didn't happen and he didn't even appear on the call sheet

' Buddie will never happen because Ryan said he won't play queer/gay' = Ryan does several interviews openly discussing the Buddie possiblity. Refers to Eddie as queer coded, starts using only gender neutral pronouns. Films a BTS video implying he hooked up with Peter Krause.

'Tim sent us a DM telling us spoilers' = Tim gives an interview flat out dismissing this.

This is the reality and it's making your delusions increasingly difficult to sell. Your own people are starting to wake up and as a result you turned your venom on your own people. And what's insane is if you had just been basic level decent you would have found plenty of fandom people who would have let you fan girl over Tommy. We have all been there. We have all fallen for a minor side character the show was never going to care about. I promise you people would have been kind to you about it. But you followed the lead of a crazy person and believed being horrible and nasty to people would get you what you wanted. You're in the position you are because of yourselves. No one else is responsible or to blame. And that's why no one feels sorry for you. Everyone is exhausted and that clearly includes the cast as well. What they're doing is hilarious and deserved.

Thank you Nonny! I do appreciate you dropping this in my inbox.

All right, Oliver is obviously as fed up with all this craziness as we are. I say 'good for him' that he is actively curating his online spaces. He is just doing what all of us do on social media: blocking the people we don't want to deal with, deleting the comments that contain topics of things we don't want to see, deleting comments with hatred in them, deleting comments where anons are shitting on our friends...

As for the rest of this excellent reply?

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If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[buckevantommy]

I saw your tags on the post about Lou/Tommy being crack to us all, and I think you're right saying what draws Lou to 911 and Tommy is that he wasn't cast as the Big Strong Guy like a lot of his other roles are and were. I've watched a few episodes of SWAT that he's in and it's like toxic masculinity central. All of the guys have to be big and strong and tough. People call Athena's stories copaganda but that show is a thousand times worse. It just makes me so thankful for our show. Men are allowed to show emotion and be vulnerable, Tommy is allowed to be soft and openly smitten with the cute guy he met, Buck is allowed to gush over the guy he likes to his sister and best friend, Eddie is allowed to have a breakdown over (temporarily please!) losing his son - they all get to be that AND be tough guys who fight fires and fly into hurricanes (but even when they do that, it's to save people they care about). Sorry I'm rambling but it's just so nice to see a guy built like a brick wall not be reduced to just his muscles and I think that's what Lou likes about the gig too.

yes to all of this.

so lou has said (in interviews and maybe cameos too - if anyone has the links please drop them) he wants to be cast in more emotionally driven roles rather than being typecast for roles that focus solely on his muscly good looks; he's lamented not being offered roles that let him stretch his acting skills and has talked about acting being his calling and how much he loves it - and we can see the care and thought that goes into his characters! the way he creates backstories for them even if he's only in a scene or two. he's so passionate! he wants to act!

so yes, i love that he's finally getting the chance to be emotionally vulnerable with tommy - while also playing the hero, and also be surrounded by other strong male characters who are written to show the breadth of the human experience and the range of emotion that comes with it. he also spoke of his short time on set in season 2 as the best on-set experience (even moreso than a show like swat where he was a season regular) so i'm thrilled he gets to return to such a positive work environment as well. he's friends with the old cast, and i think he and oliver have so much in common that there's the potential for friendship going forward. just such good stuff for lou all around with tommy and i'm so so happy for him!!

[keepingmyoptionsfluid]

You guys need to calm the fuck down. You're not better than new fans, you're not better than people who are happy bisexuals get representation. Go outside and touch some grass and stop being chronically online. You're making the fandom more toxic because you personally don't like a decision? Grow the fuck up

(who needs homophobes spewing hate us for this when we have so many militant buddie fans attacking anyone who is excited)

[realityjoey]

MAGNETS (RILEY ANDERSON MC x EVAN BUCKLEY)

As the day went on, Riley’s unexpected clinginess didn’t wane. In fact, it seemed to intensify.

During their routine checks of the fire trucks, she kept finding ways to be close to Buck. She’d linger by his side, her shoulder brushing against his, or reach out to straighten the collar of his uniform unnecessarily. Buck couldn’t stop smiling, half wondering if this was some kind of dream. Usually, he was the one inventing excuses to stay close to her—now the roles had reversed, and he was loving it more than he could’ve imagined.

Hen, Chimney, and Eddie were having a field day with it, though.

As they worked, Chimney leaned over to Eddie and muttered, “How long before Buck combusts? I give it till dinner. That boy’s been walking around with that lovesick grin all day.”

Eddie chuckled, glancing over at Buck, who was standing next to Riley while she inspected a hose, her hand absentmindedly on his lower back. “I don’t know, man. I think he’s in heaven right now.”

Buck caught their looks and shot them a mock glare. “What? I can’t spend time with my girlfriend without you two acting like children?”

“Hey, we’re just amazed you haven’t melted into a puddle yet,” Hen teased, walking by with a smirk. “Usually, it’s you hanging all over her, and now you look like you won the lottery.”

“I did win the lottery,” Buck shot back, a playful grin on his face, before turning back to Riley with that soft, almost disbelieving look in his eyes. He couldn’t help it. This whole day felt like a sweet shift in their dynamic, and while it threw him off balance, it also warmed him from the inside out.

Later in the afternoon, when the station had quieted down a bit, Riley and Buck found themselves on the couch in the rec room. Riley leaned against him, her head resting comfortably on his shoulder, her fingers idly tracing patterns on his arm. The room was empty for the moment, giving them a rare slice of privacy.

Buck glanced down at her, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear. “You’re sure you’re okay? I mean, not that I’m complaining, but you’ve been extra…”

“Clingy?” Riley finished for him, a soft smile tugging at her lips. She shifted slightly so she could meet his eyes. “Yeah. I guess so. I don’t know, I just… feel like I need you close today.”

Buck’s expression softened even more, and his hand found hers, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’ll never complain about that. I like this side of you.”

Riley chuckled softly, her thumb brushing over his knuckles. “You’re usually the one who can’t keep your hands to yourself.”

“Hey, can you blame me?” Buck teased, but there was a serious note beneath his words. “I love you, Riley. I love that you’re letting me see this side of you today.”

She looked up at him, and for a moment, the air between them was heavier, filled with a quiet understanding. Buck knew Riley wasn’t the type to openly wear her heart on her sleeve, especially around the team. She was the calm and composed one, the rock that he leaned on. But today, seeing her let her guard down like this—it made him fall for her all over again.

Riley sighed softly, resting her head back on his shoulder. “You’ve always been good at showing how you feel. I admire that about you, you know?” she admitted quietly. “I’m not as good at it. But today… I just didn’t want to hide it.”

Buck kissed the top of her head, a warm sense of contentment filling him. “You never have to hide with me. I’m always here, no matter what.”

For a while, they stayed like that, wrapped up in each other, the rest of the world fading into the background. Buck’s fingers traced gentle circles on her arm, while Riley’s hand rested on his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.

Then the alarm rang, piercing the quiet moment with its shrill tone.

Riley pulled away reluctantly, a hint of reluctance in her eyes as they both stood up and rushed to grab their gear. The usual adrenaline of an emergency situation took over, pushing aside the softness of their moment, but the connection between them remained.

As they suited up, Hen shot Buck a quick look. “Alright, lovebirds, save it for later. We’ve got work to do.”

Buck gave her a half-smile, adjusting his helmet. “Don’t worry, Hen. I’m all business.”

Riley, already slipping into her focused mode, gave him a quick, reassuring glance before they piled into the truck, the sound of sirens soon filling the air. Despite the chaos of the job, the closeness from earlier lingered in Buck’s mind, a reminder of just how deeply they were connected.

The call ended up being a fairly routine situation—nothing the team couldn’t handle quickly. A minor fire in an apartment complex had been extinguished before they even arrived, and they spent most of the time ensuring everyone was safe and the scene was secure. As the team wrapped up, Buck found himself by Riley’s side again, watching as she helped a resident gather some personal belongings from their scorched apartment.

When she looked up and caught him staring, she shot him a small, knowing smile. “What?” she asked, amusement lacing her tone.

“Nothing,” Buck said, shaking his head, though the grin on his face told a different story. “Just thinking how lucky I am.”

“Cheesy,” Riley teased, but there was a softness in her eyes that matched his, her fingers brushing his for a brief second before they both turned back to the task at hand.

Later that evening, back at the station, things finally quieted down. Riley and Buck found themselves alone in the kitchen as the rest of the team busied themselves elsewhere. The day had slowed down, and Riley’s earlier clinginess had settled into something more familiar—a quiet, comfortable closeness between them.

Buck leaned against the counter, watching her as she prepared some tea. “So, you’re done being all over me for the day?” he asked with a teasing grin.

Riley glanced over her shoulder, her lips twitching into a smile. “Don’t get used to it. Tomorrow, you’re back to being the clingy one.”

Buck chuckled, stepping closer and wrapping his arms around her waist from behind, his chin resting on her shoulder. “I’m okay with that. But today was nice. I liked being the one you needed.”

Riley leaned into him, her voice soft. “You’re always the one I need, Buck. I just don’t always say it out loud.”

Buck’s heart swelled at her words, and he pressed a gentle kiss to her temple. “I know. And I’ll always be here, no matter what.”

For a long moment, they stood there in the kitchen, wrapped up in each other, the rest of the world fading into the background once again. It wasn’t about the grand gestures or the big moments; it was about the quiet, everyday ways they showed up for each other.

And today, Buck realized just how much he loved the days when Riley let her guard down, allowing herself to be vulnerable with him. It made everything between them feel even more real, more grounded.

As they stood there, holding each other in the quiet of the station, Buck knew that no matter what the day threw at them, as long as they had each other, they’d always come out stronger.

The following day, Buck was a man on a mission.

From the moment Riley woke up, she could feel the shift. It wasn’t unusual for Buck to be affectionate—far from it—but today was something else entirely. The second she opened her eyes, Buck’s arms were already around her, pulling her close, his face nuzzling into the crook of her neck.

“Morning,” he murmured, his voice thick with sleep, yet there was a playful tone underneath it.

Riley smiled softly, stretching out beneath him. “Morning, Buck. Everything okay?”

“Perfect,” he responded immediately, pressing a kiss to her neck before pulling her even tighter against his chest. “I just missed you.”

Riley raised an eyebrow, glancing over at the clock. “Buck, we were literally sleeping next to each other.”

“Yeah, well,” he said, grinning against her skin, “I still missed you.”

Riley laughed, trying to roll away from him so she could get out of bed, but Buck was having none of it. His arms tightened around her waist, refusing to let her go. “Where do you think you’re going?” he asked, voice mock-serious.

“Getting ready for work, obviously,” Riley teased, but her words were cut off as Buck peppered kisses along her jaw, making it impossible for her to resist laughing.

“Come on, just a few more minutes,” Buck mumbled, clearly not ready to let the morning intimacy fade.

Eventually, Riley managed to escape his grasp, though Buck stayed close the entire time. As she showered, he leaned against the doorframe, chatting and making playful comments. When she was making coffee, his hands found her waist, tugging her into him every chance he got.

By the time they arrived at the station, Riley had already realized today was going to be one of those days. The ones where Buck could barely keep his hands off her—only now it was 120% more intense than usual.

They barely made it through the door before Chimney and Hen spotted them. “Oh boy, here we go again,” Hen muttered, noticing how Buck had his arm draped around Riley’s shoulders, keeping her close.

Eddie, clearly picking up on the energy, smirked. “Looks like we’re in for a clingy Buck kind of day.”

Riley shot the team an exasperated but amused look as she tried to make her way toward the kitchen, only for Buck to catch her by the wrist and pull her back into his arms. “You’re not going anywhere without me today,” he teased, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek.

Chimney let out a dramatic sigh, shaking his head. “How do you put up with him?”

Riley chuckled, leaning into Buck’s hold. “I ask myself that every day.”

Hen gave them both a playful look. “Yesterday was your turn, huh? So today it’s Buck’s?”

Buck grinned proudly, as if Hen had just validated his behavior. “Exactly! I let her have all the space she wanted yesterday. Now it’s my turn.”

Riley rolled her eyes, but there was affection in the gesture. “You did not give me space. I couldn’t even breathe without you hovering.”

“Yeah, but you loved it,” Buck teased, his hands slipping down to rest on her hips as he swayed with her slightly in place, completely ignoring the fact that they were in the middle of the station.

Eddie, who had been watching the entire exchange with an amused smirk, finally chimed in. “You know we have actual work to do today, right, Buck?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Buck waved him off, though he still didn’t let go of Riley. “Work can wait a minute. Haven’t had my full dose of Riley yet.”

Chimney raised an eyebrow. “Is there ever a time when you’ve had your full dose of Riley?”

“Never,” Buck answered confidently, pressing a quick kiss to the top of her head. “And I never will.”

Riley, who was used to Buck’s clinginess but still a little surprised by today’s level of intensity, sighed and looked up at him. “You’re gonna get sick of me eventually, you know.”

“Not possible,” Buck shot back without missing a beat.

The rest of the team was clearly enjoying the show. Chimney pretended to gag, Hen muttered something under her breath about getting a room, and Eddie just shook his head, grinning. But Buck was completely unbothered. His entire focus was on Riley, and nothing was going to change that today.

Even during their drills, Buck found ways to stay close to her. While she was suiting up, he’d “help” by adjusting her helmet even though it was perfectly fine. When they were working together on equipment checks, his fingers would brush hers every chance he got. Riley was trying to keep a straight face, but by midday, it was clear that Buck wasn’t letting up.

The teasing from the rest of the team intensified as the day went on.

During lunch, Buck sat closer than usual, his hand on Riley’s thigh under the table. Eddie, noticing the scene, leaned back in his chair, shaking his head in amusement. “So… are we just gonna pretend this is normal now?”

Chimney pointed his fork in their direction. “Hey, if this is the price we pay for not having to deal with Clingy Riley, I’ll take it.”

“Hey!” Riley shot back, though her laughter was evident in her tone. “You were all just confused yesterday. Now it’s Buck’s turn.”

“Yeah, except this is way worse,” Hen teased. “He’s practically glued to you.”

Buck, still unbothered, smirked as he leaned closer to Riley. “And you’re all jealous. Admit it.”

Eddie snorted. “Jealous of what? Being stuck with you all day?”

“Exactly,” Buck said with a grin, before pulling Riley in for a quick kiss, much to the exaggerated groans of the rest of the team.

By the time the day ended, Riley was exhausted—not from the job, but from having Buck constantly within arm’s reach. As they finally settled back at home, she turned to him, raising an eyebrow. “You do know you don’t have to make up for yesterday, right? I get it—you’re obsessed with me.”

Buck chuckled, pulling her into his lap on the couch. “I’m not making up for anything. I just like being around you. Yesterday was nice, seeing you all affectionate and soft. Made me want to return the favor.”

Riley sighed but smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck. “You don’t need a reason to be like this, Buck. I already know you can’t get enough of me.”

Buck smirked. “Damn right.”

As they settled into the quiet of their evening, Riley leaned against him, the exhaustion of the day finally catching up. And while Buck might have been 120% clingier than usual, she couldn’t deny that there was a certain comfort in knowing he’d always be this close—whether she was having a clingy day or not.

“I guess I can put up with it,” Riley murmured as she closed her eyes, letting herself relax against him.

Buck grinned, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Lucky me.”

[eddiestightywhities]

if a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, does it make a sound? | T | 2,860

[check the link above for tags]

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SUMMARY:

“So, you two were…”

“We were on a date. Yes.” Buck is smiling, and Eddie wants to hug him for how damn happy he looks about the whole thing, just as much as he wants to grab his friend's face in both hands and irrationally scream what is happening to us? until his voice is hoarse.

Whatever an out of body experience feels like, Eddie reckons it might be something akin to this. And he knows how dramatic he's being, he does, but he can't seem to stop—even if he is at a complete loss as to why.

OR

Buck's coming out scene from Eddie's POV, where Eddie realises it's not his girlfriend that he's in love with.

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read below the cut or on ao3 HERE

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Eddie can't tell himself he's never thought about it. He has, it's just he's never—weighed any of it up, exactly. Hasn't openly considered it, or let himself examine the idea there could've been anything else. That there could still be something else. There's only how things were, the way it'd gone a certain way for him when it came to romantic relationships.

Him and a girl. Him and a wife. Him and women. That's just the way it's always been. The way things are for Eddie.

Until Buck is metaphorically punching him in the face with so many huge revelations in the space of a few stark truths that Eddie apparently couldn't, or wouldn't allow himself to look at.

He thinks of that saying; something about not being able to see the wood for all the trees. The forest surrounding Eddie's life has always been frighteningly dense, with no room at all for his branches to grow any taller or wider than his allotted space. Now Eddie is being forced to think about that fully, for the first time in sort of ever, but doesn't have time to process what the hell any of it might mean. A little ruefully, he thinks he'd prefer a literal punch to the face than having to deal with his own neurosis. At once, he's remembering Buck barrelling into him on the basketball court, which—dios, kind of makes sense to him now.

Buck and Tommy went on a date, that's what Buck just told him. When he and Marisol saw them together at the restaurant the other day, they were on a date. With each other.

His brain goes into overdrive.

“Wait, Tommy's gay?”

All of his and Tommy's previous interactions are now running through his head as a flickering montage; some janky film reel spliced together in non-linear fashion. It makes him feel really shitty, re-assessing Tommy's behaviour just because of the guy's sexuality, but it's just—again, certain things are making sense now Eddie's brain has been supplied with this new information. Those bits and pieces of broken thoughts and half-notions he hadn't been able to make fit anywhere in his mind's eye, they're fusing together. Becoming viable. Stuff he'd willed himself not to ponder over now slotting into place.

“Uh, that never came up while you guys were hanging out?” Buck asks.

He tells Buck no, because it very much hadn't, and that it wouldn't have mattered to him anyway. Which of course it wouldn't, obviously, he just feels like his brain—or no, his body, maybe, had been trying to tell him something, tell him this, only Eddie hadn't listened.

Why hadn't he listened?

Then it hits him—kind of like a large shot of tequila hitting your stomach when you haven't put any food inside it for a while—that he is not at all surprised by the fact Buck went on a date with a man. Secondary is the thought that he doesn't know why he isn't taken aback by this lack of surprise.

“Sure. I—I don't think he volunteers it, but, uh, he doesn't hide it.”

He doesn't hide it.

Why does Eddie's chest feel tight?

Like an idiot, he attempts to confirm what Buck has already told him.

“So, you two were…”

“We were on a date. Yes.” Buck is smiling, and Eddie wants to hug him for how damn happy he looks about the whole thing, just as much as he wants to grab his friend's face in both hands and irrationally scream what is happening to us? until his voice is hoarse.

Whatever an out of body experience feels like, Eddie reckons it might be something akin to this. And he knows how dramatic he's being, he does, but he can't seem to stop—even if he is at a complete loss as to why.

“Okay.”

Eddie's nodding, only he doesn't really know what he's nodding at.

Buck asks, “Is that weird?”

At once, he insists, “No. Absolutely not,” even though he feels it is, for some reason, weird. Not because being queer is weird, because no, fuck no, of fucking course it isn't. Maybe it's just because of…

Because?

Why, exactly, Eddie has no clue.

He feels so, so lost.

The forest is a deep dark place, something hiding behind his ribcage mumbles before scuttling off to bury itself some place even further inside of his chest.

Is it Tommy specifically, he wonders, because he's Eddie's new sparring pal, and maybe now he won't be? He digs for a reason as to why that would bother him, but comes up empty handed.

And Tommy, he seems like a good guy.

Which is why Eddie is fairly perturbed when he pictures Tommy's face and it makes him wish he had the power of materialisation, to get the LAFD air support pilot to appear, here and now in Buck's kitchen, so he can sock the fucker in his stupid chiseled jaw with his best right hook, right in front of Buck.

Jesus, what the hell is wrong with him?

“I mean, I like him too.” He says, because he does. At least he did up until a minute ago. He weighs up his words as he's about to speak them, deciding to change his tone a little and aim for a more banter-ish vibe. “I mean, just not the same way you do, evidently.”

Buck wants to kiss Tommy. Maybe wants to fuck Tommy.

Eddie's mouth goes dry.

He simultaneously searches his mind and Buck's face, promising, “This doesn't change a thing between us. Okay?” And Eddie Diaz is a lying liar who lies, because for some reason he can't yet fathom, this changes everything.

Buck has this look, then. Almost something like—disappointment? 

Eddie doesn't know what that could mean. 

“Good. That's, uh, a relief,” Buck says, and he's nodding, just like Eddie was a moment ago. Eddie can't figure out the reason for that, either, nor why Buck doesn't seem to actually look relieved. 

Then he's going on to tell Eddie about how Tommy dumped him.

“Wow,” Eddie says, because what the fuck? Why would anybody let Evan Buckley slip though their fingers? It's honestly always been a mystery to him, how the women Buck has dated in the past have all dropped him at the first hurdle. Buck is kind of the perfect catch. Realising he doesn't quite know how to explain that to Buck, or himself, and knowing he has to come up with something, he finds himself making a joke of it with, “That's fast, even for you.”

Buck doesn't react to that at all, just says it doesn't matter anyway, seeing as he and Tommy weren't actually together, telling Eddie Tommy doesn't think Buck is ready.

Momentarily, Buck looks sort of broken. Shattered into a million pieces that Eddie wants to painstakingly pick up, one by one, so he can lovingly glue his friend back together and make him whole again. Maybe with gold paint, just like kintsugi. They'd seen and learned all about that at a Japanese exhibition over at the LACMA museum with Christopher a couple of years back, and Buck's wondrous awe at the practice—the way the blue of his eyes had reflected the jagged gold lines in the pottery, making them look like tiny planets in his head—had kind of really stuck with Eddie.

He has another fiercely protective desire to kick Kinard's perfectly muscled ass. The guy doesn't even know Buck. Not like Eddie does.

Another millisecond passes, and Eddie clocks that he's actually the asshole here, for making this all about him, even if he's not voicing any of his self-centred bullshit.

All at once, he desperately needs to know what Buck thinks about Tommy's assessment.

““Hmm,” he hedges. “What do you think?”

Buck is smiling again. Nothing like the sun, though, like the beaming smile Eddie knows he can pull from Buck's chest, the one that always makes Eddie think of that time he saw dawn breaking over Abalone Cove, just after he'd moved to L.A.

He shifts his weight a little on his stool.

Is that a weird thing to think?

Eddie's really fucking glad he has a beer in his hand, although he doesn't take a sip. He just grips the bottle a little tighter.

He's not ready to hear it when Buck answers, “I kinda can't stop thinking about him.”

He can't work out why his friend saying those words crushes him the way it does. Why he suddenly feels like punching more than just Kinard. Why he wants to burn the fucking world.

Is it maybe a similar thing to whatever Buck was feeling, after Eddie first started hanging out with Tommy?

Jealousy.

Eddie's a shitty friend sometimes, and has to constantly remind himself to do better. He sucks a breath in through his teeth, trying his damndest not to make it the huge gulp of air his lungs are, for some reason, craving.

“Well, you know what I think?” Eddie forces himself to look up at Buck to say something he really doesn't want to, because he knows it's the right thing to do. “You should call him.”

“Really?” Buck's still smiling, but his eyes are somehow telling Eddie he doesn't believe a single word Eddie is saying.

“Heck yeah. He doesn't know you're an idiot.” You're my idiot. “Once he gets to know you,”—I don't fucking want him to get to know you—“and know that you're an idiot, he'll love you, like we all do.” Like I do.

Santa mierda.

Buck smiles again and asks, a little sheepishly, “What if he says no?”

“Then he's an idiot,” Eddie answers with complete conviction, fiercely, meaning every word of it as much as he meant it when he told Buck you act like you are expendable, but you’re wrong; when he told Buck I forgive you; when he told Buck there's nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you. Eddie fixes him with a look he hopes conveys all of this, even though he knows it probably falls short. Then he adds—again, because he knows he should—“But don't walk away from something before you even know what it is,” and feels sick to his stomach as soon as the words have left his mouth.

Buck gives him a wry, knowing sort of smirk, points at Eddie and says, “That sounds like some good advice.”

It takes absolutely everything Eddie has to turn his train of thought around and force himself back into performance mode, feeling the phantom press of the towering trees that surround him and gasping with a suffocation that comes from being completely trapped in the thick of the forest he doesn't think he'll ever make his way out of.

He rolls his eyes, fake-sighs, and says, “Yeah,” adding a scoff for good measure. He tries hating on the smile Buck gifts him, the one which, honestly, looks a little forced, as Eddie lies some more and says, “I gotta talk to Marisol,” because he knows he doesn't have to; he's choosing to. He then pushes himself up and off Buck's kitchen stool even though it's the very last thing he wants to do.

Walking over to Buck's door with his heart inexplicably breaking, he hears Buck do this sort of laugh-sigh combination that Eddie's heard before. It's something Eddie does himself, a strange mix of self-consolation and for show, all rolled up into nervous release.

Eddie stops himself in his tracks, looks down at his phone, at Marisol's dozen-ish texts from the last twelve-or-so hours, and admonishes himself yet again for turning this huge moment of Buck's into something about himself. Only he can't seem to help but perpetuate the issue, because this somehow also feels very much about them; him and Buck.

Eddie is a selfish man, something his mother is still on a mission to make him acutely aware of, and he can't bear to leave without taking the thing he's wanted, he now recognises, since he walked into Buck's apartment around a half-hour back. After he'd gotten into his truck to escape the girlfriend he doesn't really want to be with and drove directly to the safest place he knows of on earth.

He feels only marginally better at being sure the closeness he craves is something Buck also wants.

As Eddie turns around, Buck's eyes shoot up at him with something threaded through his irises that looks a little like hope. Then it blooms over every brilliant feature of his face, and Eddie is overcome by two thoughts: The Abalone Cove-like knowledge that he thinks Buck is sort of beautiful, and a pressing desire to elicit this same look on Buck's face every single day for the rest of however many Eddie has left on this planet.

Fuck, he thinks retrospectively, walking towards the thing he now realises he wants more than anything he's ever wanted.

Buck.

Sliding his phone inside the back pocket of his jeans because he wants both hands for this, Eddie says, “C’mere,” beckoning his best friend over to him while thinking of Neodymium magnets Buck told him and Chris about a while back when Chris was working on that science project about gravity and other natural forces.

Buck is laughing as Eddie reiterates, saying, “Come here,” and Eddie takes and takes and takes, claiming another gift from Buck, one of much needed joviality, as he wills himself to double-down on the best buddy of it all because, yet again, he knows it's the right thing to do.

He reaches for Buck like a dying plant strains its leaves towards the sun, pulling Buck into him just as Buck reaches right back.

Eddie doesn't want to hug Buck. He wants to hold him. He knows he can't do that though, so reluctantly gives Buck's back a manly pat instead as he angles his head away from his friend in a move that feels entirely fucking wrong in each and every fibre of his being.

Cristo, Eddie is fucked.

What has happened here tonight?

Despite feeling like he's losing his mind, Eddie can't let go of Buck just yet. Forcing his body back, his hand moves of its own volition and finds its way home to the curve of Buck's shoulder, thumb being sucked into the dip beneath Buck's collar bone, and Eddie thinks of Neodymium magnets again.

He grins at Buck, and Buck smiles back with that same look of hope in his blue, blue eyes again, albeit a bit more distant now. And Eddie aches to give that hope to him, and more, because it somehow feels like it'd be the most natural thing in the world to do. Except he can't give Buck anything more than this. Not when Tommy presumably kissed Buck and Buck must've kissed Tommy back. Not when Eddie doesn't know what the fuck he's doing.

Despite what his mother tells him, some of which he knows to be true, Eddie isn't that selfish.

He pulls back to a safer distance, regardless of how it feels like the exact opposite, the reason he can't drag his hand away from Buck's person entirely, and swallows everything back down.

He points at Buck and says, “Call Tommy,” in a voice that sounds worryingly insincere to his ears.

After that, there is no way on earth, nor in heaven or hell, that he can look at Buck for longer than the single second he dares to allow himself, so he hightails it out of there before anything else can transpire in his chest, like the coward that he is.

He wonders for the entirety of the drive home about the sigh he heard leave Buck's lips as Eddie opened the loft door and left with the wish of a kiss on his own.

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Later on, with Marisol, after mutually agreeing to dial their relationship back to the start, he fucks her in his bed.

Eddie has another one of those imaginary out of body experiences as her thin, cold fingers roam his body and he tries not to think about circuit boards from high school science classes.

Set to zero. Forced-response.

Far from enjoyable, it doesn't feel a bit like the first couple of times they had sex, and he has to envisage boxes as he breathes his way through every excruciating part of it, his face a plastic mask of a smile wherever appropriate, making all the right sounds and all the right moves at what are hopefully all the right times and places.

Afterwards, with Marisol delicately snoring away and Eddie using the sound to keep time for his wrestled-down heartbeat, he looks away from the mass of dark hair piled on his chest to watch hers rise and fall; slowly, easily; the epitome of calm in her dreams.

He hopes, then, to fall asleep and dream of buying an axe so he can start chopping down trees and get himself the fuck out of the deep, dark forest he's only just noticed he's been living in his entire fucking life.

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on ao3 HERE if you'd like to come leave me some kudos and maybe even a comment ❤️

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[buck-up-buck]

Canon Events that have happened over the three episodes that have me going INSANE (like, these actually happened and are not Fanon.)

Buck asked Tommy for a tour of Harbour, not because he wanted to consider learning to fly, or leave the 118, but soley because he wanted to hang out with Tommy.

Buck used Christopher for information on Tommy.

Buck pretended to suddenly be into Basketball so that he could go to the game, just because he knew Eddie and Tommy would be there.

MADDIE MOCKED BUCK ABOUT OPENLY HAVING A CRUSH ON EDDIE.

Buck body slammed Eddie while playing Basketball (honestly, I still cannot get over the fact that he YEETED THIS BOII).

Tommy got Buck's address from Eddie and chose to come around to apologise to Buck even though, TECHNICALLY, Buck was the one acting like a spoilt brat all episode.

BUCK WAS KISSED BY A MAN. SPECIFICALLY, BUCK WAS KISSED BY TOMMY. And then proceeded to be swept off his feet by this man and was left starstruck in his apartment, after Tommy openly communicated that he had to go to work and wasn't just kissing and bailing.

"I'm an Ally."... Need I say no more.

Buck acted like a totally fucking idiot on his first date with Tommy, and proceeded to have Tommy cut the date short because of how unready he seemed. WHICH BY THE WAY, TOMMY AGAIN COMMUNICATED SO BEAUTIFULLY WITH BUCK AND PROCEEDED TO STILL CALL THIS MAN ADORABLE. HE CALLED HIM ADORABLE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

Buck accidently outed himself to Maddie because he was doing a ramble ramble about his lil buck'ed up date.

Buck told Eddie he was on a date with Tommy, and Eddie proceeded to be the bestie of besties to Buck and told him, they all loved him anyways. HE USED THE WORDS. Bucks face in that scene will forever make my lil gay heart WEEP.

Buck told Eddie he couldn't stop thinking about the hot pilot that kissed him. CRYING.

Buck proceeded to grow the fuck up and apologised to Tommy, face to face, out in a public space, knowing full well that Tommy could have dropped his ass there and then, but still wanted to show him how sorry he was, and that he was, in fact, ready.

BUCK INVITED TOMMY TO BE HIS DATE TO THE MADNEY WEDDING DESPITE ONLY technically GOING ON TWO DATES. AND THEN TOMMY. SAID. YES. HE SAID YES. YES.

Buck also then invited Tommy to Chim's bachelor party, HELD HIS ARMS OPEN ACROSS THE ROOM READY FOR A HUG, told Tommy off for his outfit, showing off true Clipboard Buck form, AND THEN TOUCHED HIS PECK.

Eddie, the bestie of besties, got all sappya and jokey when he saw Tommy and Buck together.

Buck got all pouty when Tommy had to go to work, BUT TOLD HIM TO BE SAFE. HE SAID BE SAFE DAMNIT.

Buck got all goofy and smiley when he saw that Tommy had arrived at the hospital, MEANING, that he was most likely texting Tommy all day updating him on everything that was going on, even if Tommy couldn't respond while attending to the fire.

BUCK. CALLED. TOMMY. A. BEAST. HE SAID THIS CANONICALLY. ARE YOU JOKING. HE FULLY ATTACKED MY MAN, WHILE HE WAS COVERED IN SOOT AND SHIT, SNOGGED HIS FACE OFF IN A HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM, AND CALLED HIM A BEAST. I AM DECEASED.

Buck, the idiot that he is, proceeded to out himself, to his entire family, by coming back into the room, most likely 15 to 20 minutes after leaving, covered in soot because he had been uncontrollably making out with his hot pilot boyfriend.

Eddie, the bestie of besties, GOT SO FUCKING SMUG WHEN HE SAW BUCK AND TOMMY WALK BACK IN THAT ROOM. HE PULLED THE SAME FACE I PULL WHEN MY FRIENDS HAVE COME BACK FROM MAKING OUT WITH PEOPLE AND I AM HERE FOR IT. EDDIE YOU BESTIE SLAY SLAY SLAY.

Hen, the queen that she is, has most likely spoken to Karen about her suspicons of Buck's sexuality, and procceed to say ABOUT DAMN TIME. SHE KNEW THIS WHOLE TIME. HER GAYDAR IS ON FIRE. I LOVE HER.

Again, all of these events happened IN ACTUAL EPISODES, not in a fanfiction. I am FERAL over this. Bi!Buck is the best thing to ever happen to me.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk and if you don't ship BuckTommy, leave.

[sentinelally]

Spoilers for 8.06 under the cut but I have a hastily written idea of what should happen, even if it seems likely that it won’t…

Buck is left broken from the breakup, spends weeks doing nothing for himself and dreading his own loneliness. His family at the 118 are concerned at his lack of joy and energy, but not one thing they do snaps Buck out of it.

A couple months pass and Buck decides to finally get back out there, maybe take Tommy’s advice. He has been openly queer for longer, maybe there is something to that advice. Maybe he will be able to connect with them like he used to. Back to Buck 1.0, he thinks. So he matches with a few people, and makes plans to meet up with a really hot guy.

The date goes really well. The guy is interesting. No cleft, but that’s not what he’s looking for. He needs different. Something that isn’t going to remind him of the pilot-shaped hole in his heart. He decides to go back to the guy’s place and see how compatible they are in bed. But as soon as things get hot and heavy with him, Buck realizes he doesn’t want this. He wants something deeper, something that this guy doesn’t have. He doesn’t want this. So he leaves without sleeping with him. Buck 1.0 reversion is a total failure.

His next match is with a girl. She’s gorgeous, dark hair, green eyes. She’s a total catch. Best thing, she’s not a guy. Guys remind him of someone he doesn’t want to think about. The date comes a couple nights later and Buck feels anxious about it. She is super interested in him, but the closer the date gets, the less interested Buck grows. He doesn’t cancel the date and tries to get to know her anyways, tries to feign interest as she talks. He can’t stop thinking about how this parallels Abby’s relationship with That Man, how he’s treating this girl the same way That Man treated Abby. At the end of the night, Buck decides against another date and returns home alone. He cannot bear to put either of them through a relationship that he does not want.

But what does Buck want?

What does he need?

The attraction was there with the man he met a couple nights ago. And it was there tonight when he was with the woman. He isn’t repelled from them. They’re just missing something.

Something like a cleft.

A flight suit.

Henleys.

That amazing cologne that Tommy put on before they go out on a date night.

Tommy.

He wants Tommy.

He needs Tommy.

His phone buzzes. Eddie texting him to come to the hospital. Apologizing for ruining his date. Buck scoffs, thinking there’s not much to ruin at this point.

He rushes to the hospital, expecting something with Bobby, Hen, or Chim. But finds Tommy.

“Why is Buck here, Eddie?”

“Buck has every right to know. Didn’t think you were going to cut him off completely.”

“We broke u-”

Buck isn’t going to let him finish this sentence.

“You broke up with me. This wasn’t mutual. How did this happen anyways?”

“That’s-”

“He fell out of the helicopter while servicing it. Banged his head pretty hard, bruised his neck. Nothing broken, don’t worry.”

Buck is seething. Tommy is not that careless.

“I’m okay, so you can leave, Buck. Eddie can take me home.”

“Enough with calling me Buck. Only my friends call me Buck. And you are not my friend. You never were just my friend. You were so much more. That’s why I wanted you to call me Evan that whole time. That’s why I hate it when you call me Buck!”

Tommy opens his mouth to speak and like hell Buck is letting that happen.

“And one more thing. I love you, Tommy. I didn’t want to say it like this, when I’m begging you to give us another shot. I wanted to say it when we were at home together, watching a movie, or lying in bed together after an amazing night. But it’s how I feel - I love you, and I don’t want anyone else. I don’t need anyone else. I just need you to love me back.”

Tommy looks at Buck, stunned into silence, the fight and belligerence from earlier dissipating rapidly as Buck speaks.

“What brought this on?”

Buck takes Tommy’s hand in his own.

“I came here from a date with a girl. I wanted to like her, but she wasn’t you. Neither was the guy I saw the other night. Couldn’t get out of his place fast enough.”

“You ended a date for me?”

“Well the date was over. I couldn’t even pay much attention. And the guy from the other night? Didn’t even make it to the bedroom. I couldn’t get you out of my head.”

“Why, Evan? I broke your heart…”

“Because, you idiot, I love you. And I thought I was the idiot.”

“Maybe I am an idiot…”

Neither noticed the moment when Eddie left the room, but both men look around for him, only noticing that they are alone, the monotonous beeping of the heart rate monitor adding to the silence in the room while neither man talks.

“Is that an apology or regret I hear?”

“I don’t know. Both? Do I even have a right to ask for forgiveness?”

“Why don’t you try and see? Make an effort like I did for you after you left me not once, but twice?”

Tommy stares intensely at Buck, trying to read if that challenge was playful or-

Is Buck the kind of person to goad him into asking for forgiveness only to deny it?

He has to try. Things haven’t been the same without Buck.

“I won’t leave you again…if you take me back, that is…”

Buck surges forward and kisses Tommy aggressively, stopping only when Tommy winces as his head throbs in pain.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry, Tommy. Is your head okay? Neck?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, just sore. In fact, probably better than I’ve been in the last couple months.”

Eddie wanders back in, finding Buck and Tommy almost cuddling in the hospital bed.

“Fucking finally. You two have made me miserable for two fucking months.”

He snaps a picture and sends it to a group chat. Buck’s phone buzzes, irritating him briefly.

Then Tommy’s phone buzzes.

Buck opens the text and it’s an empty chat history.

A new group text.

One with Tommy in it.

Only texts there being a pic of him and Tommy cuddling, captioned “Fucking finally. You all owe me $20!”

And Buck knows everything is right with the world.

[nqueso-emergency]

because you are okay with us rambling a bit-

i am SO tired of a take that i’ve been seeing more lately (wonder why lmao), and that is:

eddie and chris were the ones that made buck grow up and be the person he is today

and it is. such a dumbass take.

in what way have either eddie or chris done that for him? have they inspired him at times? yeah. buck openly admits chris inspires him during the tsunami eps and he’s expressed he admires how good of a dad eddie is.

but to say they’ve changed him?

it’s funny, because i think most of this take is born due to people claiming it not watching season 1/barely paying attention to it. yet, taking the buck we were presented with during ep 1 and putting him in S2E1.

(as a small note - was buck a bit childish during 201? sure! but he snaps out of it rather quickly)

eddie does not make buck grow to the extent they believe. or at least, not in a much different way than being around hen or chim make buck grow.

want to know who, in canon, is a direct influence on buck’s growth? bobby. big time. and even when buddies hate to see this, abby also is a big part of his growth.

(maddie is in a whole other category imo, because it’s undeniable she is his biggest influence and even inspiration, and i am TIRED of buddies undermining her role in buck’s life, and their pretension that buck values eddie over her without a second thought)

eddie doesn’t make him grow up. buck finding carla is not thanks to eddie influencing him, but because buck has shown (since ep 1) to have a big heart (if misguided at times, or perhaps impulsive). 301 tells us buck is not used to babysit chris by showing him hesitant and asking chris what he usually does, so he’s not suddenly a dad that steps up.

the beauty of buck’s character is that you can see the influence of every person has on him throughout the series. but arguably, eddie is not the main reason. if anything, this last season especially we’ve seen he enables him to do stupid stuff at times.

don’t know if this made full sense but it did feel good to say haha. sorry for making you read all of it

I love all of this and it's completely true. Every time I wanted to add something, you hit on it 🤣 Bobby IS the one who had the most direct impact, followed very close to Maddie. When Bobby fired Buck, that really knocked him on his ass which he needed.

When has Buck ever really gone to Eddie for advice??? That's right, he hasn't.

I also love you mention season 1! This is why it's important to watch the entire show and not just your favorite characters.

[thestrangestthlng]

Okay... what?

This post has SINCE* been deleted, but I'm in a mood so I have some shit to say. Firstly, if you are watching 911 because of FAN EDITS of Buddie, you are going to be sorely disappointed in the show. The edits twist the show, because none of that you see on the actual show.

Secondly, MOST PEOPLE DO NOT WATCH THE SHOW FOR BUDDIE. The GA is consistantly between 4 and 10 million people (between live watches and delayed viewing), the vast majority of them wouldn't even be able to tell you what a Buddie is. Most people watch the show for Angela Bassett.

Now that we got that out of the way... The rest of the comment is just gross, biphobic, and fetishizing.

"I think they should have just removed the whole Buck being bisexual and make him straight all through if they weren't willing to explore it the way they openly do in Lone Star."

Holy shit that's gross. He is exploring it. With his boyfriend. Tommy. A man.

Lone Star has two established gay male leads whose main arc in the show is their relationship. They were established as queer and you know they are going to be together by the end of the first episode.

OR... do you mean that there should be sex scenes at 8pm on ABC because you want to see them have sex? That's fetishize-y and weird, bro. 911 has never had intimate scenes as involved as Lone Star. You'll get falling in the bed after, someone on top of someone else still mostly dressed, implied role play, but that's it.

You don't have to have sex scenes to explore a characters sexuality or relationships. And you don't have to be queer to even explore your sexuality. Buck has been exploring his sexuality since we met him. He literally got fired exploring his sexuality.

Moral of the story: if you start watching a show because of fan edits you're going to be disappointed and mistaken. This is the Angela and Peter show.

If you only watch the show for a fanon ship, you probably shouldn't watch the show because the entire ensemble is great. Watch the show because you love the vibe, not for a hope and dream ship that is never going to happen. The only place it will ever be true is in fandom. So enjoy your fic and art, but remember that Buck has his own storyline apart from Eddie, always has. Eddie has never even been the most important person in Buck's storyline.