#btw yeah i'm basically making this one out of spite...

[rhys-ravenfeather]

Okay, what the hey, I'm going to do another one of these.

[froschli96]

As an asexual Good Omens fan

There's something I've noticed in this fandom that makes me really uncomfortable, and that is the way that Crowley and Aziraphale's possible asexuality is constantly being connected to and justified by them being not human.

I just honestly really hate that, because implying that asexuality is something that somehow "logically" follows from characters being nonhuman is ... not great. Like, I hate having to be the one to point this out, but asexuality is, in fact, very much a human attribute.

And unfortunately, most of the time when I come across this take, it doesn't feel like someone seeing themselves in the characters and relating to their experience, but rather an othering, this kind of otherwordly pure non-sexualness, where people put these characters above such trivial things like sexuality.

I am not asexual because I am somehow confounded by this oh so complicated human concept of sexuality, or because I don't ever think or care about sexuality at all (a lot of thinking was unfortunately involved actually before I finally came to a conclusion about my identity) it is just a fact of who I am, as a human being, it’s a part of my human experience.

And let's be honest, attributing asexuality to nonhuman characters is not the hot new take a lot of people seem to think it is — this trope has been around for ages. And it hasn't done a great deal to normalize asexuality. In fact I'd argue it's perpetuated an othering of ace people, but you take what you can get, really. (This is not to say that it is in any way wrong to identify with these kinds of characters, I definitely do, too! It's just sad that the topic of discussion is always about how "human" someone can be considered when they don't feel sexual or romantic attraction)

To be honest, I don't actually see A&C being asexual as canon — as a lot of people seemingly do — just because the author kind of suggested it in a tweet where he basically conflates "asexual" and "sexless" (for the record, this is not a dig at Neil, I just think the implications were kind of unfortunate, even if it might not have been intentional, which makes it all the more frustrating that a lot of fans just ran with it). And yeah, going around calling people aphobic for seeing the Ineffable Husbands as gay rep or any other identity, when they’re oh so obviously canonically ace, is honestly kind of insane.

I get that it might feel nice and tempting to be able to "claim" these characters and this relationship and being able to tell other fans off whose headcanons on their sexuality differ from your own because it is hard to come by any kind of representation when you're ace and there's finally a creator who's not only not contemptuous towards but even supportive of fans reading his characters as queer. And if you feel represented by A&C as it is then all the more power to you. But the thing is, it doesn't matter what kind of justifications there are or what canon might or might not say (bc when has that ever mattered in fandom spaces) or what the creator says, you cannot convert people to your opinion about a character, and you're going to have a bad time if you spend your time in fandom trying to do that.

And really, I am just wondering why we necessarily even need an explanation or justification for them possibly being asexual. Why does it have to be that all angels and demons are asexual by virtue of being nonhuman, and so A&C have to be too? why can't that just be an aspect of them that is completely unrelated to them not being human? Could these characters maybe not simply identify as asexual, not because they're nonhuman, but in spite of it? (btw, in the same vein it is equally stupid to argue that A&C can't be ace because they have "gone native", which is also an argument I've come across)

Honestly, I'm not even asking anyone to fundamentally change how they see these characters here — if you think they must be asexual solely because they're angels and have no concept of human sexuality, then whatever, I can't stop you and I don’t want to police anyone's headcanons bc as I said that's stupid and a waste of time. What I am asking you is that you maybe reflect a little bit on why exactly it is that humanity and sexuality are somehow so intrinsically linked in your mind to the point where you automatically use it as a way to distinguish between human and nonhuman characters.

Anyways.

Tldr: please stop equating asexuality with non-humanness thank you and good day.

[hiskillingjar]

hi!!what do you think strade, law, and ren would react to a goth mc? love your blog btw💗

YEAH GOTHS RISE UP!!!!!!!!! as a fellow goth, love this ask and I'm gonna be totally normal about it 🖤

ren 🦊

urghhhhhhhh

he's one of those fucking "need a thicc goth to sit on my face and ruin my life" assholes on twitter so. he'd be normal for sure!

no he wouldn't, ren sucks, he would be so fetishy and gross about it

okay i'm being mean. he just...likes high aesthetic in any circumstance, so he'd instantly be attracted to an mc that has something specific to them

dolly fashion, e-girl, goth, lolita, he'd be obsessed whatever it was.

that being said, he'd only really be involved for the aesthetics

like (depending on what kind of goth you are) he'd be down with the eyeliner and the fishnets and the black on black

more than down, he'd love it! he thinks the fishnets and the leather and latex is super hot, and he'd loveeee any opportunity to see your makeup get messed up (lipstick smearing, tears ruining your eyeliner, etc)

but like. he's not going to be invested in much else. that's something for you, he just likes the way you look

law 🥀

law is basically goth already, change my mind

like in spite of not having much of an aesthetic about them, they're death-obsessed, super macabre and morbid, collect animal bones and make ART with said animal bones

that's not even discussing the poetry, the journalling, the melancholy they feel on a day-to-day basis. they've got a smiths album somewhere in their shitty apartment

they're goth!! tell me i'm wrong!

if you gave them a The Cure cd, they would be sooooooo into it. just staring at the ceiling like "yeah...he gets it".

they still prefer the smiths though. morrissey just gets them (unfortunately)

you'd be a goth power couple.

you're in your goth get-up reading poppy z brite out loud in a cemetery, they're prepping a wet specimen for you to display on the shelf they gave you in their apartment

you'd be full poppy z brite, drawing blood actually! maybe they try to kill you once or twice, just so you can see the river and they can make sure you're really like them, but that's okay.

it's just the gothic beauty of your relationship

they still love you <3

strade 🔨

i think that strade is a little alt in his own right too

like. he's got the cunty new rocks. he's got piercings. he's got long hair as a man. okay goth eurotrash, i see you! <3

this was definitely when he was younger, he looked a lot more alt, but as he gets older, it settles down

but he still likes your goth look a lot <3

just kind of in the dirty old man way though

wearing something short or low cut? you're going to get a wolf whistle and a slap on the ass

fishnets? come on now, you're just asking for trouble~

if you had more of a modest goth approach, he'd be less horned up but he might comment on it all the same. your legs look good in that, your waist looks pretty small in that belt, have you thought about throwing a harness on that?

granted, maybe a harness would be a bad choice...give him too much leverage for throwing you around and pulling you in close <3

and naturally, he'd get pretty excited from making you upset by ruining your clothes and makeup

he can only keep his sadistic inclinations at bay for so long now. what do you expect?

definitely doesn't help if and when you show up in his streams and his audience gets a good look at the 'new pet' he's keeping all to himself

you know what they say about goth girls, right? they're all kinky as fuck, you'd probably get off on whatever he did to you...

nice to see you living up to that particular stereotype <3

[ckret2]

Has the book of bill changed how you're writing the henchmaniacs? I remember in a past chapter, you presented them a specific way, but now that we have like, basic descriptions on at least a few of them thanks to TBOB, has that changed anything for you?

it's changed some things.

Xanthar, 8-Ball, Teeth, Lava Lamp, and Keyhole can stay the same—although I need to fix how I spell "Zanthar" and "8 Ball". I'm especially pleased that I called Xanthar is a lovecraftian god and Keyhole is the group Thompson.

The shapes are gonna be more difficult. I hinged a significant part of the late-stage plot on the headcanon that they're from Bill's dimension. I was ready to dismiss the Oracle saying Bill was the only survivor of his dimension with "it's a trillion years ago and she wasn't there, she's only received an incomplete version of events"; but hearing "until there was no one left but me, covered in blood, alone in the universe" makes it harder to just handwave away.

So either I need to find a loophole to keep them from Bill's universe that doesn't feel too cheaty (like, just saying "oh Bill was lying about being all alone" feels cheaty in this circumstance when there's no canon evidence that he's lying about that particular thing); or, I need to find a way to work my plot without them being from his dimension.

Amorphous Shape's characterization I'm gonna have to completely chuck out and rewrite, but I'm okay with that because I love the new characterization TBOB gave us. I'm still gonna keep her a hive mind though, I like that and it doesn't contradict anything TBOB gives us about her.

The trickiest character is gonna be Pyronica, given that I made Paci-Fire her son (look, that's a weird deep-voiced baby, SOMEBODY in the gang's gotta be his parent/guardian), and the book very clearly went "she dreams of settling down and starting a family... LMFAO not, could you imagine"

It's not totally unworkable. The overall plot arc I have planned for Pyronica—minor spoilers—is dependent upon her very much NOT wanting to have had a kid. So it oughtn't be too tricky to go "she so doesn't want to settle down... but somehow a kid happened anyway" and fit it into my existing plot; but it's gonna be harder to convince the audience "i'm not breaking canon, I'm just bending it, trust me bro" long enough for the payoff.

Maybe I could initially hide their relationship? Some kids call their parents by their name. I didn't initially plan for their relationship to be a secret twist, but Pyronica keeping it secret would make sense with the story I've got planned for her. So I could portray them as close but conceal the exact nature of their relationship and put off the reveal until we're close enough to the explanation for How This Happened. I feel like going "oh yeah btw she's got a kid in spite of what the book says" will be more convincing if it's portrayed as something that even within the gang is kept kinda hush-hush.

[bougiebutchbitch]

I'm not in the ofmd fandom but I am intrigued by the drama. spill the tea?

OH GOD OKAY

Where do I begin lksdlgkfds

Okay so

There’s this nasty little gremlin-man in ofmd called Izzy Hands. He’s a sour, mean, skrunkly, disabled little cunt who is a firm believer in Respect and Discipline (in a very queer subby way).

This is to say: he is. Explicitly. Queer. He does drag on the show, and has a whole coming-out scene. He is a kinky masochist. He confesses his love for another man, and basically ruins his own life & everyone else's, because he is sooooo pathetically jealous about this man (his captain!) falling for some milquetoast loser white rich guy, when Izzy, a badass leather-wearing working-class sword-swinging swashbuckler, is right there making puppy-eyes at him.

He's wrong! He's horrid! He's a bastard, pickled in piss and vinegar! He's five-foot-nothing of spite and gay self-loathing! He's very fun to watch, and very, very queer.

People still insist that he’s straight. And racist. Despite there being 0 textural evidence to support this, and the creators of the show repeatedly saying that this is absolutely not what they wrote.

Why do people hate him so much? Simple! Because he ‘got in the way’ of the main ship.

Yup. It’s basically ‘bash the girl who gets in the way of our m/m otp’ only the girl is a grizzled 50-something year old pirate.

The main ship, btw, is between Ed Teach, an awesome complex flawed hopeful beautiful character of colour; and Stede Bonnet, another awesome complex flawed character. Who is a white guy. And who happens to be a rich plantation owner from the 1700s. Based on A LITERAL SLAVE OWNER. Who is explicitly shown to be a Problematic White Guy with fucked-up racist views.

Like. He’s not a perfect guy. The show makes this very, very clear - to the point where Stede pushes Ed into sex super-fast immediately after Ed says he wants to go slow, and this makes Ed run away and freak out.

But somehow, Certain Fans still insist that Izzy is to blame because :checks notes: he makes one cheeky, friendly joke about them finally getting together that is clearly given & received in good spirits.

Yeah.

There's a lot of this cognitive dissonance going on. And it's very, very wilful.

Basically: a certain subset of people who ship Ed and Stede refuse to exercise the slightest bit of critical thought of Stede’s views and actions (which are a representation of the white landed gentry!) but insist on maliciously twisting literally everything Izzy says or does to cast him as The Ultimate Villain. Whereas anyone watching the show can tell that he starts off as an antagonist-with-a-deeply-hidden-heart-of-gold, whose entire arc is about growth and redemption.

I think 99% of this is projection. Stede and Ed are not perfect by any means, but these people are so dead-set on shipping a Cute Fluffy Romance (when that. Really isn’t what the show gave us) that they have to create a villain out of Izzy and blame all of Stede and Ed’s fucked-up choices and actions on him, in the most contrived ways. Which has the added bonus of them deciding that Izzy, a white guy, is somehow responsible for literally ALL of Ed’s genuinely awful, abusive, and interesting choices in S2, where he went on his villain arc. Even though Izzy was the main victim of this villain arc. Rather than, y’know, giving Ed the agency to make his own damn decisions and acknowledging that he is a flawed and fascinating character who Hurts People but still deserves a happy ending, like literally every other main character on ofmd. Nope. Gotta infantalise that man of colour and pretend he has no control over his own life and his morality is goverened by the white men around him!

Then, they get to portray Stede as his white saviourTM who swoops in and saves Ed from ‘his own darkness’ with the power of love. 😊 because that’s not Problematique in the slightest 😊

It’s… fucked up, to put it plainly. But honestly, as much as there is a problem with their dogged insistence that Izzy is the root of all iniquity on the show, and that Ed and Stede are pure perfect angels who never did any wrong... what was worse was the relentless harassment enacted by that side of the fandom against anyone who dared show a liking for Izzy’s character. Like, it’s not the worst fandom out there by any means, but it really did make the fandom feel hostile to anyone who didn’t ship the main ship.

SO - yeah. That's the tea! OFMD was a fun show with lots of cool flawed characters. But the fandom was a cesspit, fuelled mostly by a Certain Group Of Fans' desperation to make their ship Perfect and Morally Pure - which resulted in them throwing an interesting, well-rounded, morally grey queer disabled character under the bus, and harrassing anyone who enjoyed him.

[quitealotofsodapop]

Post-JTTW Stone Egged Au asks: Bad Ichor

Amassing some Post-Jttw egg asks with similar vibes of "reject gods. stay monke".

Hehehe many questions - main ref post here. Btw in future try sending one sentence questions/comment as replies to the specfic posts. sometimes I find asks referencing a post and I can't remember which one they're talking about.

Wukong in the au makes a concious effort to inform his cubs and his people of what his mother sacrificed to bring him into the world. Her statue and the paintings on the walls of Waterfall Curtain a tapestry of a ruler more fair and far grander that any celestial in the monkeys minds.

And when their little chaotic Eclipse twins found the Consort's resting place, more of Wukong's parent's sacrifice was uncovered. Along with the King's delayed twin brother Luzhen. The little prince grows up being taught how him and the "larger him" share parents, but they aren't here in person anymore but they love him very much. Luzhen has met his and Wukong's parents during the holidays that allow it and gladly runs up to Yē Lín and Shíhuā calling them "Baba" and "Mama" let he's known them all his life. He misses them a lot. But older Brother/Mama and Bama/Baba are really good to him so he isn't sad for long.

Wukong never lets Heaven realise that Luzhen isn't his biological child, as he fears the Emperor or Queen Mother attempting to sieze custody of Luzhen out of spite. The few higher up that know agree that baby monkeys need to be with monkeys.

Pigsy is still uber confused when Luzhen refers to Wukong as "mama" and "gege" in the same sentence tho.

Mac and Wukong are still super petty tho. They call upon their ancestors during the cubs' naming ceremonies to give their little one's blessings. And along with Shíhuā, Yē Lín and Guanyin making an appearance, the royal couple are invoked to send divine blessings of protection down onto earth. They know who's calling them. They aren't happy about it but they won't hurt the little ones.

MK is still a huge JTTW fan, even more so since to him it's like learning about all this cool stuff his family did back in the Before times! And he was there for a lot it! (even if he wasn't born yet). Him and his childhood besties deduced early on that they have *some* kind of family in the Celestial realm, just not sure who.

As for the Dragons:

Going by Ao Guang still being upset by the theft (barely, in Jttw his wife let Wukong have it), of the Staff, I imagine that dragon can be super petty. Ao Guang doesn't like Sun Wukong at all for the theft and the havoc in heaven, even if he was cordial to him during the Journey.

When the youngest son of the Ao Run/Ji is fatally wounded by the Samadhi Fire, basically every royal dragon had an attack of pstd to when they lost Ao Bing. They started to hate Sun Wukong for his recklessness.

Then DBK, Wukong's older sworn brother and godfather to his young twins, suddenly goes on a rampage forcing Heaven's hands.

The royal dragons basically took DBK's imprisionment as an excuse to bail out. Dragons don't like the gods, and they don't like Sun Wukong.

Mei's parents hadn't wanted to cut ties with the monkeys, but Mei was a super sickly dragon pup and Ao Yi simply couldn't emotionally deal with cutting off her family with that happening... her and Long Chen continue to send Wukong's family birthday presents, card, and the occasional letter - all covert like a spy mission. Other dragons who disagreed with the royals continue this practice as well.

And ofc S4:

:)

Nezha: "Jade Emperor, there's a message for you from Sun Qi Xiaotian." Jade Emperor & Queen Mother: (*super intrigued! Did he find out about their connection?*) JE: "Send him in." Nezha, peaks head out of window: "Yeah he's in." MK: (*busts through wall like a Looney tunes character, shaking with anxiety*) MK, like he's on fast-forward: "Mister Jade Emperor sir I'm so sorry but Azure Lion's got this memory scroll and he trapped my family in it. He tricked me and my friends into freeing his old buddies from the Brotherhood but he wont let my mom loose and NOW he has my baby sister and little bro (it's complicated) and they're on their way here right now to kill you and my powers are glitching out and I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!" JE: "Uhhh..." Queen Mother, rolls her eyes and turns to her entourage: "Prepare the safehouse. Contact all the bodhisattvas and the Kings of Hell, and tell our armies to be ready for a big game hunt. And get this child some peaches." MK: (*heavily breathing/mid-panic attack. gives thumbs up*) Mei, peaking her head in: "Wow. Girl bossing!" Nezha: "And Sun Wukong my lady?" Queen Mother: (*looks over MK like he's the most precious thing in the universe. like she doesn't want to let him leave*) Queen Mother: "For the sake of my daughter... find Sun Wukong's mate the Six Eared Macaque. He knows those Brotherhood brutes well. It's the least he can do for giving my grandson such distress with that disappearing act." Rumble & Savage, appear from the Queen Mother's shadow: "Do we gets peaches too?" "I like melon better." Queen Mother: "Who are these?" MK, calming down: "My older little siblings. They're twins. Azure didn't take them. Probably because he couldn't catch them." Rumble & Savage, proudly flexing: "We're too fast!" "And we got our bama's powers!" Queen Mother: (*notices little red tiger-stripe-like markings on the twins' bodies*) "OH!!!! He had twins! My love! More wàizēngsūnérnǚ! Twins too!!" JE: (*frozen stiff on his throne, completely shocked*) "Can the brown one repeat what he said about celestial beasts coming to kill me?" MK, blanking at QM's use of chinese: "Did the Queen just say-" Orchard Maidens, quickly shuffling the Noodle Gang out of the Throne Room: "SO! How about those peaches?" "You'll learn soon enough." "Sorry, but we're going into lockdown." "He's taller than didi!" "Must be mother's genes that did that."

Basically MK is calling in the big guns early cus he's panicking, abd accidentally uncovers the fact that he's somehow the great-grandchild (by reincarnation nonsense) of the two rulers of Heaven!?

All he wanted when all this Scroll nonsense happened was a day off!

[left-ctrl-shift]

I'm honestly really excited about team PICS (or whatever they called now) in the watching the trainwreck kind of way.

it might be the time when scott's primary strategy of "buuuut I'm being sooo nice to yooooouuu, and now you would feel reeeeally reeeeally baaaad if you aren't nice to me, wouldn't youuuuu?" might just... not work. and not only for the server as a whole, but inside his own team too (not that he is all that nice to them in the first place, lol).

I feel, that if pearl and impulse will continue to be the scheming menaces they are (as they should), other people will gradually get annoyed at their team as a whole, just as scott will get more and more frustrated with his team. like, don't get me wrong, this session the general attitude to scott as individual seemed to be annoyed at his teammates but mostly friendly. and he in turn was apologising and complaining about his own team and saying something along the lines of "yeah, yeah I'll try to keep them in check". poor poor scott they are "making him work overtime in the social department", his quote btw. (like yeah, dude whatever, no one asked for that, go gather resources or something lol)

But I really hope his typical "social games" (whatever that means) won't work for long this season. I hope his usual goody two-shoes attitude won't help him and people will start being apprehensive and hostile.

I think there are two main ways how this can play out. he either will have to basically renounce or betray his team (if they won't do that to him first, lol) or he'll just have to give in and play his own role by supporting them. I'm hoping for the second option with his recent spiteful determination to keep his team together (and maybe even some kind of a villain ark for him). buuuut we all know this won't happen as he will probably probably find some kind of boring "pseudo heroic" way out of it. he'd rather kill, wait, sorry "heroically sacrifice" himself once again, than accept the role of a villain of the story. He is too blinded by his own self-righteousness to understand the motivations people can have for their actions, if they don't fall into his category of morally or at least strategically right and good.

[olderthannetfic]

Fanvid anon here again. Sorry for this veeery long ask!

In reply to this: /728290706491375616 Holy shit, thank you for the fandom history lesson and the video recommendations, I will go through all of them! (Not right now yet as I'm currently procrastinating studying for two uni exams that are next week and for which I have done almost nothing yet, oops. Will sit down to watch them this evening though.) I feel you on the "motivated by spite" part. "Oh, you think they aren't cute together and you think it's silly/stupid/nonsensical to ship them? Well, let me gather all my reasons for this being my OTP and smash them in your face then!"

Also thank you for the advice, I'll probably refrain from tagging it as ship manifesto then, heh. And about most fanvids not being on AO3, I sent this ask late at night when I was sleepy and tired, and when I saw your reply, I was like "oh yeah right, the fic itself on AO3 would just be empty if the link were broken due to takedowns, not automatically removed, the fuck was I thinking" XD

In reply to this: /728297732625907712 Thank you very much for the programme recommendations! I recently had a tiny look around at what people use for cutting and editing videos and then spontaneously downloaded Openshot. I'll definitely check out DaVinci Resolve. Btw the reason why I thought about getting into vidding was that I tried to make gifs again after not having done that in years, and my files were over 200mb because I had forgotten how to gif for tumblr, ha! Had wanted to put those gifs on a ship manifesto-ish thingy on tumblr, but then thought that many of those moments go on a little too long to put into one gif each, and thought I might as well try to make a fanvid of their moments together.

--

I don't think anyone will be offended if you tag 'ship manifesto'. I just think they'll be expecting a little essay to go along with your vid. Given how underused the entire manifesto genre of meta is on AO3, I don't think anyone's going to be too bothered by "extra" things in the tag.

Gifsets can be nice, but honestly, the amount of work to really make them tidy and pretty probably isn't any less than to make a basic vid, yeah.

[my-own-walker]

Hi, I'm sorry to bother you but I wanted to ask you if you could write a fic or a long one-shot about Colin Zabel (I don't know if you saw Mare of Eastown).

The story line would be this: Colin asks YN out because Mare rejected him (basically the scene happened where he thought they were on a date and she just wanted to talk about the case).

YN agrees to go on the date. They start going out several times. At one point she finds out that Colin asked her out on a date out of spite (bc of the Mare thing). So she confronts him and tells him that she liked him, she gets angry because she feels he played with her feelings. And then Colin tries to fix the situation because, during the several dates, he realizes that he started to like YN.

And, if enough, make like an epilogue where they are a happy family (Colin and YN).

Too long. Sorry.

On The Other Line - Part 1

sure can! (it’s never too long, anon. much love)

warnings: spoiler alerts possible ahead for mare of easttown, mentions of violence against women, mentions of death, light sm*t/some steamy moments, some misogyny (it's really true to the area so i include it lightly)

author's note: i just so happen to know the delco area VERY well so expect me to nerd out on this one. accents, slang, food, everything will be very accurate. mare of easttown was pretty true to delco, but i can make it better. evan fucking nailed the accent, as he always does, btw.

+++

Being from Easttown meant that seeing someone new in town was a headline-worthy event.

So when Detective Colin Zabel showed up to help out with the Erin McMenamin case, everyone and their mom-moms were talking about it. Gossiping about the case and just how bad it was, considering the fact that they called in backup.

I'll admit it, I engaged in the gossip. My Uncle Nick owned the bar in town and would tell me all about what he heard about the case. He's worse than a chick, I'll tell you that.

Now I had no personal connection to the case. I knew of Erin but not enough to really be torn up about the whole thing. It was scary, yeah, being a woman in town after one was missing and another was dead, but I couldn't be bothered with tears. I didn't want to face the fact that things were getting scary.

I worked as a librarian. Something about reading called to me. It was great to escape from the disgusting world I found myself living in. One where women were being brutalized just minutes from my home. I have always been a sucker for escapism.

My Uncle Nick's bar became a landing place for me most nights. I was afraid to go back to my apartment alone. I didn't have a car so I'd have to walk. The bar was only half a mile from the library, and my apartment was 2 miles away. The bar was the better choice considering everything going on.

I'd help out serving sometimes. Other times I'd just sit behind the bar and talk to the patrons. Then my uncle would drive me home in his truck. I didn't mind helping out if it meant that I was safe.

+

It was a Thursday night. Around 10 pm. I was doing my usual routine of sitting behind the bar after work, talking to the familiar faces that always came by. At this bar, there were only regulars.

That was until I saw Colin Zabel walk through the front door.

It was like seeing a celebrity. I silently wondered if he was here to question somebody about the case. I picked up my book and began to read it, trying to send an innocent bystander vibe.

He walked over to the bar and slumped himself down on the seat nearest to me.

'Fuck.' I thought.

My Uncle Nick walked over to Colin and set down a coaster in front of him.

'Just a PBR, please?' Colin said as he looked up.

'Draft or can?' my uncle replied.

'Can, please,' Colin answered, rubbing his temple with his hand.

'PBR?' I scoffed from my seat. 'Colin Zabel. Could you fulfill the Delco trash stereotype more, please?'

'Wh-what?' he stuttered while smiling, looking up in awe at my directness.

'You couldn't pick a trashier beer,' I continued putting down my book on the bar next to him. 'Plus, if you're gonna get it, get the draft dude. It at least looks classier.' I leaned forward on the stool I was sitting on, resting my elbows on the bar in front of me and placing my chin in my hands.

'Yo, I've had a rough night, cut me some slack,' he laughed.

'Rough night or not, I'd never go into a bar for the first time and order a PBR. Complete jerkoff move, Zabel.'

'Okay, youse around here know my name and it's gettin' weird. And how do you know this is my first time in here,' he chuckled.

'Oh sorry I'm bein' rude. I'm Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N. You are kinda famous around here, detective. And my uncle owns this place. I'd know if you'd been in here before,' I smirked.

As if on cue, Uncle Nick returned, reaching around me to place the can in front of Colin.

'Makin' friends, hun?' my uncle asked, patting my right shoulder.

'Only always,' I replied, smiling up at him. He walked away, shaking his head at me.

'Well, Y/N, you're very forward, huh?' he suggested as he sipped his drink.

I guess I was. The bar was sort of my domain. I talked to every patron like that. After all, everyone that was in there was either my teacher, classmate, doctor, or employer at one time. I knew everyone so I acted like it. And I knew of Colin so I felt like I could talk to him like that. Totally forgot he was a complete stranger.

'But you liked it, though,' I quipped back. He simply laughed and shook his head, casting his eyes down.

'What brings you here, anyways?' I asked.

'Closest bar to the restaurant I was just at,' he shrugged.

'Didn't get enough to drink there?' I challenged. He looked up and met my eyes. His were a deep brown. He looked sad.

'Oh, it was a trainwreck,' he sipped his drink again.

'Don't care to elaborate, hm?' I asked. He just shook his head.

'Y'know, Y/N? I'm feeling really bold right now,' Colin started, making eye contact with me again. 'Would you wanna go out sometime? Y'know what? Maybe tomorrow. Lunchtime?'

I was taken aback. 'You're pretty forward yourself, Zabel.'

'You're pretty and I feel like it would just be fun,' he continued.

'Oh, I'm just pretty?' I replied, feigning shock.

'Oh shut up,' he laughed as he pushed my forearm lightly.

+

After exchanging numbers and chatting some more he left. Over text, we agreed to meet in the park at lunchtime to talk. He'd provide the coffee, he promised.

The next day I walked to work with more pep in my step than usual. I was even singing a little when putting books back on shelves. It had been a while since I'd been on a date. He was really cute so I couldn't help but be excited.

I got to the park earlier than we'd agreed upon, but that motherfucker still beat me there. He was holding two cups of coffee and was dressed smartly in a long tweed grey coat.

'You're eager, Zabel!' I called across the park as I walked upon him.

'You're early, too, miss,' he replied, raising an eyebrow and pulling me in for a hug. When we separated he handed me one of the cups. 'Oat milk for you, my dear.'

I smiled. He remembered a passing comment I made the night before.

We started to walk, talking about everything under the sun. I tried not to ask too much about his work, with the case being so sensitive, and all. We came up on a playground. There was a blonde woman sitting on a bench nearby, obviously watching a young child.

Colin suddenly grabbed my hand and pulled me closer. The gesture gave me butterflies in my stomach. Walking closer to the bench, the blonde woman looked up and waved. Colin waved back and flashed his best closed-lip smile.

"Colin, hey,' the woman said. "About la-'

'Mare, this is Y/N,' Colin drew nearer to me and kissed my cheek. I blushed heavily.

'H-hi," I started.

'Y/N, this is Mare. She used to be on the Erin McMenamin case with me,' he snipped, gesturing his hand toward her. She rolled her eyes and went back to watching the child on the playground.

'I don't have time for this today, Colin,' Mare said, dismissing us.

We walked away just a far enough distance out of her earshot before I said, 'she's a fuckin' ray of sunshine.'

'Quite a woman,' Colin replied, looking back at her, still not letting go of my hand.

+

The rest of the date went super well. So well, in fact, that I didn't stop bothering him. I texted him every day, every second I could get the chance.

He returned the energy…somewhat. He was a busy man, being on the police force after all. I didn't think too much of it.

We planned to go back out again on that Sunday for lunch.

+

'Hey, pretty,' he breathed as he took his jacket off. I beat him to the restaurant. I won, this time. He sat down in the seat across from me.

He called me pretty. My face felt hot. He seemed to really be into me. And I felt the same.

The meal was great. We continued to get to know each other and I really started catching feelings for him. I invited him back to my apartment after and he said yes.

The inside of my apartment was, I'll say it, pretty strangely decorated. I'm a lover of all things fun and odd, and my interior design choices reflected it. For example, my couch was royal purple, and I had billiard balls in a decorative bowl on my cowboy-themed coffee table. I refused to use overhead lighting so everything was lit a warm yellow and striking blue, thanks to the lights I bought off Amazon.

The best part, and my shining accomplishment, my bed was heart-shaped. So me and so weird. I think it came from a strip club. I found the frame and mattress discarded on the side of the road. Score.

I could tell Colin was shocked by the way he was looking around. He shrugged his coat off and placed it on one of the clown hooks by the door.

'I know it's weird bu-' I started.

'No, Y/N, this place is really...stellar. It has personality, for sure,' he assured me. He continued to wander around, looking at my things.

I started to feel kind of shy in my own home. Like this man was fully in my apartment and I had the fattest crush on him. If there was one thing about me, though, I wasn’t shy. I decided that the best and only way to power through it was to kiss him, so I did.

He tensed at first, not expecting the contact, but soon relaxed into it, placing his hands on my waist and pulling me into him.

I pulled away. ‘Sorry, I just- like-‘

‘No it’s okay, I liked it,’ he grinned. ‘You’re fucking cool, Y/L/N.’

‘I mean I don’t fight crime for a living but-‘ I started but was promptly cut off by Colin’s lips on mine again. Sweet kisses turned more passionate as I started to lead him to my bedroom.

I fumbled with the buttons of his shirt. He pulled my cardigan down off my shoulders. When we reached the bedroom I tugged his shirt off and threw it behind him, demonstratively. He grabbed the bottom hem of my camisole and pulled it over my head, exposing my black lace bra.

It was then that he noticed my bed.

‘No, you’re fuckin’ joking,’ he laughed, walking towards it and hopping up on it. ‘Are we about to fuck like 70s porn stars right now? A heart-shaped bed?’ His smirk was so cute.

I didn’t reply. Instead I attacked him with kisses, crawling into his lap. I felt his hard-on in his pants below me. I straddled his thighs and pushed him down gently into a laying position.

‘Y/N….fuck,’ he moaned as I peppered kisses down his chest and stomach, stopping at the waistband of his pants. I slowly unbuttoned them, making him wait for it. He helped me tug them off of his legs. I placed my hand on his cock through his underwear and waited as if to ask permission. ‘Please,’ he mustered.

I reached in and pulled it out, immediately taking him in my mouth. He muttered every curse word under the sun as I continued to blow him.

+

We spent the rest of the day in my bed. Our time was used talking, then having sex, then talking again. Repeating the cycle until I was thoroughly convinced that I was in love with him.

He left me around 10 that night and for some reason, I felt empty. Cold. It was an odd feeling considering the ecstasy I has experienced all day. I put it down to being tired.

But I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.

+++

Okayyyyy yay!!! That was part 1 of two in this lil series. Thanks anon again for the request. Sorry if it felt rushed in some points. I was trying not to make this thing like 400 parts. I get wordy at times. Part 2 hopefully will be here tomorrow!!

[notquitedeadpod]

Hello just wanted to say love everything going on in this podcast, just, on every level. The vampire lore is everything to me, love the way the monstrous and the alluring intertwine (and are also the same thing). Neige in particular is. Very important to me. The way he's (from what I've gathered so far) legitimately not tired of life after having so much of it? How even if he's having trouble staying in the moment he still cherishes the new, enjoys and dislikes things with his entire heart? As someone who struggles with letting itself enjoy life seeing this guy who's been around for thousands of years and is like "zis entire life thing is great and my capacity for joy in infinite" just. Warms my heart? And of course vampires are very much about queerness in here, but the way Neige refuses to let himself wallow in self pity, to not enjoy his life despite the difficulties of it (or to deny the fact that he's alive) is also Doing Things for me from a chronic illness perspective. And yeah, the queerness perspective of course. Fun aside fact I am very, very asexual and I think your funky vampires helped me conceptualize desire better? I don't get attraction but I do get hunger and they're basically the same thing maybe. When a guy gives you that garlic bread sort of feeling. Fascinating. Anyways thank you for making Neige a guy that exists! Really appreciate all the creatures happening in your head and that you elected to share them with the world <3

<3 <3 <3

This was such a wonderful message to receive, thank you so much for taking the time to share all of this with me. It's such an incredible thing to have made something that resonates with other people, and it's so powerful to hear about the place my little creation has in your life!

One thing I want to reflect on here, specifically, is what you said about Neige. For very different reasons, this aspect of him, where he continues to choose to live, is deeply important to me in a very similar way. Neige's life has not been easy. He's been around for so long and the world has not been kind to him during all of those many years, but he continues to choose to live, and most importantly, to me, he's living NOT because he thinks that the bad times are over, but because he knows that the GOOD times aren't over, either.

There is something very cathartic for me to write a character who isn't wildly optimistic, isn't filled with spite about it, but who looks at life and all it has to offer, and all of what it has offered already, and says yes. All of that, good and bad? More of it, please.

Yeah, idk. It means a lot to me to write about it, that I'm able to, that it's resonating with other people when I do.

Also YES the sexual desire vs hunger thing is fascinating because this show is VERY about exploring that connection, about love and consumption and dependency and like. Idk. Vampires overall just represent something powerful to me about desire and yearning and hunger.

I will speak at some point (which is why the second part of the Q&A STILL isn't out, btw, it began to CONSUME me) about vampires as alienated bodies, how that relates to the vampire x human and vampire x vampire dynamics I explore in the show, and like. More broadly about connections between monstrousness and carnal desire and consumption. These connections fascinate me are very much things I'm super alive to when I'm writing the show so!! Very fun to think about!!

--- Eira xxx

[causenessus]

HI HI HI HI NESS IM BACKKFJFKSMSOS so first of all tumblr hates me why is that the FOURTH ask of mine u answered that i wasnt notified of should i just die

anyways im eating lunch rn

healthy girl era did not work out i took a 6 hour (?) nap yesterday so!!

trying again today

N E WAYS

today the teacher told us her old students were too non che lent (nonchalant!!) so they failed the exam (wat.)

and my friend wanted to laugh about it w me but i wasnt looking so she yeeted my OTHER friends eraser at me

but it

it hit (near?) the teacher..

she was sooo mad omfg

giggling i hate her

like basically i answer all her questions out of spite now like YEAH BRO I KNOW THIS ALR😕😕

Also i swear i dif this math problem right but the teacher said it was wrong (wat.) and my friend did it too and we got the same answer (wat.)

i wrote fanfiction at school ☝️😎 it has already been digitalised but like i DID write it

and tjen my friend read an original short story (? 1.2k words) i wrote which was basically me projecting and she almost cried so like Uh

slay???

dude i love talking so much u have no idea actually

ALSO THE THING ABOUT THE ENRGY LIKe I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY OMG SO I GET EXCITED YK

n e ways..

i was watching american psycho last night but i got distracted..😭 ALSO IM SO EXCITED ABT ONICS LIKE EUSHEPSHAPSJXOSKAJDKAAKKDKD

>tries 2 normal

>fails

OK SO!! HRU AND WHATS GOING ON IN UR LIFE AND IF U EVER NEED TO HIRE A HITMAN IM HERE FOR U ❤️‍🩹 as the hitman btw ❤️‍🩹

U SHOULD NOT DIE!!! TUMBLR SHOULD DIE HOW DARE THEY!!! i am so confused at like what is happening at tumblr hq 😭😭 like there are problems that need to be solved!!!! and i feel like they should be pretty simple to fix!!! but instead they're like "NO LET'S MAKE TAGGING USERS GO BLUE AND COMMENTS UGLY"

but anyway!! i hope your lunch was good!! AND A SIX HOUR NAP SOUNDS AMAZING AND JUST AS PRODUCTIVE AS WORKING OUT!! it's hard to balance everything so definitely don't stress too much about it!! you have your whole life ahead of you to like do something like working out so not doing it one day is totally okay!! (yk?? i hope that made sense and i'm sorry i hope it's okay to say that 😭)

??? nonchalant -> failing exam???? i do not see the correlation??? 😭 YOUR TEACHER IS VV SPECIAL!! IS THIS THE ONE THAT TEACHES ENGLISH BUT ISN'T....ACTUALLY....THAT GREAT....AT ENGLISH??? 😭 OR MAYBE IT'S UR MATH TEACHER BC U ALSO SAID SOMETHING ABOUT THAT BUT THE ERASER ALMOST HITTING YOUR TEACHER IS CRAZY I WOULD'VE DIED ON THE SPOT 😭😭

also math teachers love to like??? tell u ur wrong and then not explain how to correctly do something??? so i think u should just blame them for everything!! that sounds fair <3

I'VE ALSO WRITTEN FANFICTION AT SCHOOL LMAOOO i remember being on my computer during french class and my guy was just so boring i pulled out the doc and started writing but LUCKILY it was like an oc fic so it wasn't as scary to write as a x reader UNLIKE WHEN I WAS MAKING TONIC PFPS AND MY DOCUMENT WAS LITERALLY CALLED LIKE yn & atsumu and for some reason all of my friends wanted to COME UP FROM BEHIND ME AND HUG ME!! OR LOOK AT MY SCREEN!! and i was just 😃😃😃 but i have no shame so oh well

THE ORIGINAL SHORT STORY SOUNDS GOOD!! ESP IF IT ALMOST MADE YOUR FRIEND CRY?? 😭 I HOPE YOU'RE DOING ALRIGHT THOUGH <3 AND I LOVE HEARING YOU TALK!! PLEASE TALK AS MUCH AS YOU WANT I WILL READ EVERYTHING YOU TELL ME <33

I'M SO SO GLAD YOU'RE EXCITED FOR TONICS!! I AM TOO <333 I'M SLOWLY PLANNING IT OUT LIKE ONE CHAPTER AT A TIME AND I'M LITERALLY SHAKING WITH EXCITEMENT OMG OMG OMG <33

THANK U LINA!!! I WOULD LOVE FOR U TO BE MY HITMAN <33 I MAY NEED ONE JUST TO GET THRU SCHOOL BC MY HALLS FR ARE SCARY SOMETIMES YK?? like too many scary girls who look me up and down in their little crop tops and shorts and nike air forces and are like "why are u wearing pants in the summer" BC I CAN?? AND I DON'T LIKE SHOWING THAT MUCH SKIN THANK U?? (sorry this probably makes no sense i think my brain has short circuited today </33) BUT I'M DOING ALR!!! i'm stressed about my theatre duties starting up very very soon 😭😭 but i'll let u know how that goes once they start!!! I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL TODAY!!! AND EAT SOMETHING GOOD <33

[destinygoldenstar]

Here's a fun fact:

In TDDRI, Izzy was originally NOT supposed to be alive as long as she is. She was supposed to die in the Chapter 2 execution, like it was framed she would. The backstory was the same, her reasons for killing Cody was the same, but she didn't have that much relevance to the story.

Which is crazy, because for those who read the fic, she's VERY relevant, and will be going forward.

But yeah, originally she was just a side character and a Chapter 2 Culprit who died like any Culprit did.

So what changed? The reception I got from the fic. People loved her character in the fic so much, and were heavily intrigued in what she'd do in the future.

So I decided to keep her around longer and made her part much bigger.

It is so rare that I EVER listen to my fans on dictating my writing choices. I'm one of those people who believe that writers should do their own thing and make the story they want. This is the exception.

Why? Because what I originally had was far less interesting, and I got pointed out the loads of potential Izzy had with the narrative I gave her.

For example, originally, it was the Mastermind that made Chapter 4's motive, not Izzy. Which, if you know, would've been very out of character for the Mastermind, who wants to rehabilitate everyone and not actively torture and kill them. Whereas Izzy wanted to kill and torture them.

Keeping Izzy around actively helped polish some of the plot holes in my original script.

Izzy is one of the most unique characters I've written in anything for sure. Why? Because with the others there's SOME logic to their actions and behaviors. But with Izzy, there seems to be next to none besides trauma and wanting to spite the killing games that caused said trauma. She constantly lies to everyone and herself, she constantly gains different perspectives from whats happened to her, and there is little to no rationality behind her thinking whatsoever.

As written to quote Noah: "If you can't make sense of it, she can. Simple as that."

I'm not psychotic. I'm autistic. Those two things are NOT similar at all btw. I had to do research, and even then I think I got stuff wrong. But I do kind of relate to that line from my own habits. Sometimes there isn't any logic behind what people do. Some people don't have a good emotional control for example, and logic is out the window. For psychos, the definition is NOT 'crazy' it's actually 'disconnected from reality'. You see things that aren't there. You start behaving on your own rules and not the rules of the real world. You get triggered in some form by things that seem irrational to others.

Based on that, you can actually see multiple TDDRI characters being/becoming psychotic because of the game. (Like Lindsay, the Mastermind, or hell, even Duncan) Izzy is just the most experienced with it, therefore she is triggered the most. I didn't want to portray mental illness as the reason why Izzy is 'evil'. I don't call her evil, personally. That's really up to how you view her. That's why it's easy to see multiple characters suffering from stuff like this, to show that different people have different reactions, and it's not 'psychosis makes you a bad person'. That's not true.

The other characters calling her crazy is NOT necessarily me the writer telling the audience to see psychos as crazy. It's these particular characters not knowing how psychosis works and interpreting it inaccurately. Like real people with no experience do.

Basically, Izzy is chaotic. She goes by her own rules. She doesn't care what the good or evil choice is. She just does or the sake of her own emotions and mind playing her. It's all from real life experience that she's had, and of course, people not understanding what psychosis is. Logic is not the way to understanding her.

I usually write characters based on logic, but thanks to Izzy forcing a new approach, I feel like these characters have become more authentic as a result. When it comes to fiction, we often interpret character's actions as something 'in character' for them, something that can be explained, something that can be easily understandable. It's bad writing if it's not.

That's actually not the real world, and I've certainly had perspective shifts from that in life. There's so many other factors from people's actions. Stuff that can't be explained at all. We like to think we're not biased, but sometimes we are and we can't find logic as to why we're biased, for example.

I think that's the appeal of Izzy in this fic. She's one of the toughest characters to crack the code of, and that's why she's brought so much life to this fic and helped me make it feel a lot more real on the psychological destruction these games can do to people.

So, I'm happy y'all wanted her to stay around. Idk if the story would've worked nearly as well otherwise.

[l1vs-kpopclass]

🧜‍♀️𝙎𝙐𝙉𝙈𝙄- 𝙎𝙞𝙧𝙚𝙣🧜‍♀️

𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗜𝗖𝗘: i breakdown the songs i like and not (always) the latest ones.

i can say i know basic korean and this song is easy to understand, also i like it a lot! lets start quickly 😌

ctto^

[Verse 1]

line: 내가 말했잖아 "속지 말라고"

내가: I

말했-: said, told (should actually be 말했어 but it has another ending instead)

-잖아: you know (you know that i told you)

속다: to be deceived

-지 말라고: don't

line: 이 손을 잡는 수간 너는 위험해질 거라고

이: this

손: hand

-을: accusative ending

잡다: to hold

-는 순간: the moment when...

너는: you

위험하다: to be in danger, to be dangerous

-질 거라고: not sure of this exactly, but maybe it's like an indirect quotation? (or like "to put under a situation")

line: now you are bleeding 근대도 글리니

근대도: still, although

글리다: to be attracted

-니: it's and informal question ending (replaced with 다)

line: 뻔히 다 알면서도 왜 그리 빤히 쳐다보니?

뻔히: clearly, obviously

다: everything, all

알다: to know

-면서도: also "yet, in spite of" etc but added at the end of verbs and adjectives

그리: like that

빤히 쳐다보다: to stare deeply (wow that's a long verb)

line: 놔 그냥

놔: let go

그냥: just

line: 조금도 망소리지 말고

조금: a little

-도: even

망소리다: to hesitate

-지 말고: don't

line: 너를 아프게 할 거란 걸 알잖아

너를: you+acc

아프게: to be sick, to be in pain

게 하다: to make someone or something (do) smth

거라: same as the prev. line ^

-ㄴ 걸: okieee this might be confusing for english speakers... it makes the verb accusative?

알잖아: you know

line: 니 환상에 아름다운 나는 없어

니: your

환상: imagination

-에: in, at

아름다운: beautiful

나는: me

없어: basically makes it negative, so it says (there isn't a beautiful me in your imagination)

line: get away out of my face 더 다가오지 마 boy

더: (any)more

다가오다: to come close(r)

-지 마: don't

line: 슬퍼해도 난 울지 않아

슬퍼하다: to be sad

-도: even though (this 도 dude is realllly useful in korean btw)

난: I

울다: to cry

-지 않아: don't

line: get away out of my face 더 바라보지 마 boy

-더: (any)more

바라보다: to look back

-지 않아: don't

~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~

AND THAT'S A WRAP! I actually wanted to do the whole song but realized... yeah I'm too lazy to do that, sorry 😔 but I hope you enjoy!

I have finals tomorrow btw, wish me luck 🥹✌🏻

aaaand let's meet at the next post 🌼 (hopefully)

060423

~liv

[noodlyappendages03]

Yup. That was it. DD walked up with his beautiful eyes and dazzling smile as he always does. He didn't cut and run. He found out I was doing shadow work therapy last week and I thought, "Oh God, he thinks I'm crazy." Turns out he doesn't. He shared that he was in therapy up until his separation last year and then asked me about it. Didn't pry but said I could share if I felt comfortable. I now get the sense that he has strong feelings for me but is mature enough to know that we can't make the two parts of our lives co-exist at this moment in time. Definitely not a fuckboy. He really tried his best to make his marriage work from our conversation today. Loves his baby girl to pieces. But it was a pandemic shotgun wedding with the wrong person. It really, really sucks that I can't sleep with him anymore, but it would only prolong and intensify the pain for both of us. Better to preserve and deepen our relationship as it is than to ruin it completely.

He knows about my major trauma - raped at 18 as a virgin and was impregnated against my will. Dissociated heavily in the days after. I miscarried in a dorm bathroom in the first trimester and was in heavy denial about the pregnancy because I was trying to deal with what had happened, plus I had taken a test too soon and it was negative - stuffed it all down and tried to pretend it never happened because the one person I told laughed at me and didn't believe me. Complex PTSD doesn't let you do that, btw. Attempted suicide 4 months after the miscarriage because the pain of living in the aftermath was just too much. Chose to stay on this earth out of pure spite and hatred toward my rapist, if we're being honest. Yay spite!

I've been able to heal the pregnancy wound by having my daughter 14 years later, but have had deep shame issues around sex ever since. Married a man young who made me feel secure emotionally but had no sex drive. At the time that was fine, and we had our kid, but I could count the times we were intimate on basically two hands in a decade. As I healed, I felt like I was not only missing out but unable to reclaim my sexuality. That ended, and here we are. DD certainly helped me reclaim parts of my sexuality that used to feel dirty to me. He took my virginity in um, a different way...haha! 😆 🍑

DD was in shock and in awe when I shared my story. He revealed he had a son at 22 - accidental pregnancy and later took responsibility after not being present for him growing up. He said he couldn't bear to imagine how painful it must have been for me to not have had a say in my bodily autonomy and to also be just 18 years old - about the same age as his son now, btw - and to technically give birth while being not entirely aware of what was happening with zero support system and then have to deal with complicated grief/rage/PTSD. So he kinda understood my situation, what makes me tick, and why I seek therapy. In fact, his son was born the same year that took place. So yeah...we share a unique bond.

If anything, he seemed to admire me more for being open about journaling and therapy. I'm trying to work on myself. Dude's got his own wounds to heal. He knows we're both unhealed. Both of us felt love and ran scared. Have to fix ourselves before there can be a healthy relationship (and one of us would have to quit because the working environment would become unhealthy - the Gossips!). Time will tell.

[lunarfortune]

okay im just gonna type some shit for the moment or whatever but elise mf origin post because it's super funny to me

long rambly post with a bunch of card game images

anyway way back in like 2020 and early 2021 Legends of Runeterra had its Lab of Legends mode. Similar to Path of Champions but like, way more basic since it was the earlier version. You pick a champ and fight through a series of 9? stages or so, theyre all the same each time, with the bosses being Thresh, Sejuani (FUCK Scargrounds stage) and Viktor (and FUCK Guard Bots stage too). Each first clear with a champ would grant you a unique player icon for them, but I wasn't super concerned with collecting them all, I really just wanted Miss Fortune. The problem was that her starting deck is kind of Not Great and it's especially easy to get reamed by bad rng and her ability is straight up a hindrance against Scargrounds. I was having so much trouble with MF runs it was unreal. My friend cleared it relatively quickly, but I could not for the life of me get a good run going. I struggled with it on and off for WEEKS. I was just resigned to never clearing it.

So one fateful day in February of 2021 I am going through yet another MF lab run and get offered a choice between Zoe, Elise and Jinx as my deck's support champs. Fuck it, I'm thinking, just take Elise for laughs, who gives a shit anymore.

While I'm playing I'm shitposting on discord with a friend and making jokes about the whole thing, and we all know what happens when you make jokes. Didn't win that run but within a day it did get the gears in ye olde brain turning.

(i've now had this sitting in drafts for a month btw LOL i forgor)

The next month I'm starting up yet another run, and at this point I'm so demoralized by my bad luck with this I'm just like, yeah okay whatever Elise again, I'm just gonna lose at Scargrounds again like always

So I'm just going through the motions with this run and being more excited about the loot I'm getting of the Empires of the Ascended event. Somehow got quite lucky through Scars and Sejuani because the ai wasn't pulling followers to play.

Like I really cannot stress how lackluster the rng through this run was, I was genuinely surprised I got through Sejuani lmao

I guess purely to spite me, this run makes it past Foundry and Guard Bots and gets to Viktor. It's.... dicey. Elise's spiders give me more fodder to keep the nexus safe but between Elise's support cards and Sarah's starting deck, I don't really have any big hitters if Viktor starts to beef up, and I was never able to pick up anything from round rewards.

The Ruination I picked up comes in an early draw and comes in handy, clearing the board. I'm in the damn trenches clutching my spiders and fighting for my life. Another Viktor comes out, I draw a second Ruination and pop it. Viktor plays a Nyandroid.

He doesn't seem to have anything else to play. With both Sarah and Elise leading the charge, I attack.

Finally, finally, after so many attempts, I was FREE. Love fucking wins. Sarah's Love Tap took out the 5/1 bot that would have killed Elise during the Guard Bots stage. These champs speedran enemies to lovers through a month of me suffering through to get my first clear. I was utterly bewildered.

So anyway thats the story of how Elise/Miss Fortune was kind of a joke and then not a joke and I have given very serious consideration as to how they could encounter one another and how that would go.

Elise Does make trips to Bilgewater btw, thanks Ruined King!

[rsmrymnt-tea]

Hello!!

I really really have to replay s1 so I can reread the Satan scenes with all the perspective I have on his character now I'm skdnsks.

Do you think he had a plan on how he'd introduce MC to his origins and like, him being Wrath (and not just Wrath)? It really sucks he lost the chance to introduce these things on his terms. Though there is something to MC finding out without the delicacy and context he would probably have preferred imo.

MC hears about him in an unflattering way, is basically told the two things he's most insecure of without worry of how they would affect how MC sees him, and then they bare witness to his Wrath. And still they choose to see him as more than that, and they choose to love him. How many people have done that for him? How many strangers?

And I've never considered how Satan would feel about MC's lie that they want Lucifer's respect! Especially when rejecting his pact!

MC says to him hey maybe a pact is going a bit too far to spite Lucifer (that's your autonomy in my hands, dude) and he hears that they value Lucifer's opinion of them over a connection with him!! I'm losing my mind!! (do you think after they're made their pact that Satan checks in to make sure MC knows Lucifer's option isn't all that? I mean surely he has questions about it right?)

I wonder how it felt to Satan, once Belphie was released, to know what MC's true goal had been and to think over everything that had happened with that new context?

(I know this isn't the topic of the day but I really wanted to respond to what you said. A++ response btw!!)

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Revisiting early seasons after a revelation or new perspective in seeing a character is so cool! Do it!! Going through every Solomon interaction after experiencing his confession all the way in Lesson 46 was such an interesting experience—like at which point did he catch feelings? Because he certainly sounded like he’s been pining. I’m probably gonna do the same with Satan for like, the nth time as I do rewrites for canon lol

Hmm… I feel like it could go both ways with him tbh. I think he could’ve done with them not knowing, but at the same time he seems to also like to test MC in some ways—like in some of his Devilgrams I get the feeling that he’s gauging something about the MC by introducing them to aspects of his life and interests? I recall Search for the Self and his Seven Rulers of Hell card feeling that way… And he did tell them about his origins himself in Search for the Self, so that’s probably confirmation that he would? However I have no idea how canon that one is compared to the other Chapter A cards because he talks to them about his birth like no one’s ever told them… And in main story they act like he’s never told them so…? It’s also implied to have taken place pretty early on in their stay in the Devildom since they’ve apparently only been going between RAD and the HoL?

I agree with there being something to MC finding out from someone else, explained a bit carelessly too. Plus with his resentment towards Lucifer being dismissed by Asmo, his closest brother of all demons? I feel like it’s a bit representative of how everyone else in the Devildom knows about his story. From hearsay and/or haphazardly told, with people often favoring Lucifer because he’s Lucifer, we know how he tops popularity polls alongside Diavolo. You’re right in that it’s unflattering. It’s something so important to him told with the grace of a big rock being thrown into a river.

And yet, yeah. They still go to him, still see him as himself, validate his feelings regarding hating Lucifer, and see beyond his Wrath. Showing him compassion, loving him even, be it romantic or platonic. And it’s something I really really fucking love hasjfsdjkf

Sadfjagf YEAH like for sure that’s how he took them saying no! Granted, the way the game poses it it makes you think that that’s the only reason why MC says no, but as a Satan stan and someone with some real understanding of what a pact truly entails (unlike canon MC from what we fucking see) at least half of their reason for saying no is that Satan should know better than to give his autonomy away like that!! But for sure in the haze of the aftermath of a fight with Lucifer and hearing MC’s reason for getting pacts that’s the least of what he’s considering :/

Lucifer’s option? Do you mean opinion? I’m gonna answer like it said opinion shsjsja

I feel like it would depend on what MC is like? I can see MC actually caring about Lucifer’s opinion but also it’s easy to have an MC that also dislikes Lucifer if they’re someone that hangs around Satan lots lol But I can see him sneakily checking how much they actually value Lucifer’s opinion with some subtle questioning, for sure. Just observing but maybe nothing direct unless they really give him nothing?

As for how he might feel when he found out exactly what MC had been trying to do all this time… I honestly think that he’d still react like he did in canon when they came back from Purgatory Hall with Beel. I think the fact that he offered a pact out of his own volition helped lots with him being more accepting of what MC’s hidden true intentions? I think it’s not totally a lie that MC wanted Lucifer’s respect so that they could talk to him about Belphie. Because how else would MC get Lucifer to make a pact with them for Belphie? Or best case, they’d manage to convince Lucifer to free Belphie himself.

I personally think that Satan wouldn’t be as hurt as the others were, if at all. Just shocked about how everything unfolded. He gave them a pact both to help them with their goal and as a sign of how much trust he has in them now. There wasn’t any true deceit, and as petty as he can be, he’s not like Asmo who was upset that you got a pact with him while thinking of someone else, or Levi and Mammon who were hurt that you had some ulterior motive… Even though I thought it was obvious that of course you had a motive for making a pact with the two of them?

Honestly think he might even be kind of amazed that a human had the audacity? Y’know, in a positive way. Judging from his spiel when you go to see him in the planetarium, he was fully supportive, and it seemed genuine. Probably basis to love MC more lmao

(Also can I say… I’m still not sure how I feel about how upset the three were when you go back to them?? I feel like they should’ve been upset that you knew Belphie was there specifically instead of being upset that you made pacts with them to help Belphie? Irdk it’s such a weird part to me)